1
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:16,359
Thank you! Thank you very much!

2
00:01:16,437 --> 00:01:18,028
Thank you!

3
00:01:20,107 --> 00:01:22,338
How you all doing tonight?

4
00:01:30,717 --> 00:01:33,151
It's great to see all of you here.

5
00:01:35,287 --> 00:01:40,589
My name is Charlie Bartlett!

6
00:01:43,129 --> 00:01:47,760
Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!

7
00:01:47,834 --> 00:01:50,199
Charlie. Charlie!

8
00:01:50,269 --> 00:01:51,566
Charlie!

9
00:01:53,339 --> 00:01:54,931
Your mom's here.

10
00:01:56,108 --> 00:01:58,201
She's in the dean's office.

11
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:02,543
Good luck, Charlie. Stay out of trouble.

12
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,149
I'm not sure I understand.
Is it his grades?

13
00:02:06,852 --> 00:02:10,651
No, Mrs. Bartlett, it's not his grades
and it's not his attendance.

14
00:02:11,156 --> 00:02:15,115
Look, quite frankly, he is one of
our brightest boys here at school,

15
00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:17,086
albeit, unusual.

16
00:02:17,161 --> 00:02:20,598
Well, I'm just not sure
why he must be expelled, then.

17
00:02:21,265 --> 00:02:23,665
Well, this might shed some light.

18
00:02:26,804 --> 00:02:30,035
You're expelling him
for making a driver's license?

19
00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:34,567
He's been running a laminating press
from inside his dorm room,

20
00:02:34,645 --> 00:02:37,512
and he has been selling them
to the other students.

21
00:02:37,581 --> 00:02:39,981
You have to admit,
they look pretty authentic.

22
00:02:40,050 --> 00:02:44,748
Look, Mrs. Bartlett, to be honest,
I think he has a lot of potential.

23
00:02:44,821 --> 00:02:49,315
He's innovative, he's intelligent.
He's obviously highly motivated.

24
00:02:49,392 --> 00:02:52,360
Perhaps this would be
a good time for an endowment.

25
00:02:52,428 --> 00:02:56,022
No. Mrs. Bartlett, what he did was illegal

26
00:02:56,098 --> 00:02:58,260
and we can't overlook that.

27
00:03:00,202 --> 00:03:02,171
- Okay.
- Okay.

28
00:03:02,237 --> 00:03:04,102
- I understand.
- Good.

29
00:03:12,047 --> 00:03:13,479
Are you mad?

30
00:03:14,249 --> 00:03:15,910
You know, I'm not.

31
00:03:16,451 --> 00:03:20,716
I just can't fathom why you did it.
It's not like you needed the money.

32
00:03:20,788 --> 00:03:24,986
I mean, really, Charlie, what would
your father say if he were here?

33
00:03:27,928 --> 00:03:31,125
Mom, they were just starting
to appreciate me.

34
00:03:31,198 --> 00:03:33,961
You know, I was the guy
that everyone wanted to meet.

35
00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:37,867
Well, maybe there's more
to high school than being well liked.

36
00:03:38,906 --> 00:03:40,930
Like what, specifically?

37
00:03:42,542 --> 00:03:44,510
Nothing comes to mind.

38
00:03:46,311 --> 00:03:50,680
I guess now we try you living at home
and going to public school.

39
00:03:51,117 --> 00:03:54,018
I even kept your room
exactly the way you left it.

40
00:03:54,087 --> 00:03:56,783
Hey, Mom, have you been feeding my fish?

41
00:03:57,290 --> 00:03:58,551
Oh, dear.

42
00:04:05,963 --> 00:04:09,400
Mom? I think I might take
the bus in tomorrow.

43
00:04:09,468 --> 00:04:12,368
Really? I was going to have
Thomas drive you.

44
00:04:12,436 --> 00:04:16,874
I know, but I don't think anybody else
is going to show up with a chauffeur.

45
00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:19,774
You're probably right.

46
00:04:20,645 --> 00:04:23,273
- Have you taken your Klonopin today?
- I haven't.

47
00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:27,009
- Where do you suppose I put that?
- Probably in your purse.

48
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:33,312
There you are.
What would I do without you, Charlie?

49
00:05:03,819 --> 00:05:06,946
Well, it's wonderful
to have you back, Charlie.

50
00:05:08,289 --> 00:05:10,883
Thanks, Mom. I missed you, too.

51
00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,907
Are you kidding me? Suzy Q!

52
00:05:36,884 --> 00:05:38,374
What? Come in.

53
00:05:39,286 --> 00:05:41,083
Hi. Volume. Thank you.

54
00:05:41,154 --> 00:05:43,053
Hold on, The Principal is here.
What do you want, Dad?

55
00:05:43,123 --> 00:05:45,420
Why do you call me The Principal
when you're talking to your friends?

56
00:05:45,492 --> 00:05:47,858
Pretending to have contempt for you
gives me a certain amount of cred,

57
00:05:47,928 --> 00:05:49,122
if you can understand that.

58
00:05:49,196 --> 00:05:50,526
No, no, no.

59
00:05:50,596 --> 00:05:52,326
Okay, what do you want?

60
00:05:52,399 --> 00:05:54,730
- I wanna say hi.
- Hi.

61
00:05:56,269 --> 00:05:57,531
Fresh crack rock.

62
00:05:57,603 --> 00:06:00,003
- God, it's called rock candy.
- That was a joke.

63
00:06:00,072 --> 00:06:02,939
I was eating it decades before
you were even conceived.

64
00:06:03,009 --> 00:06:04,270
I'll be in my office.

65
00:06:04,342 --> 00:06:05,708
- Love you.
- Love you. Bye.

66
00:06:09,882 --> 00:06:11,940
You have two new messages.

67
00:06:12,518 --> 00:06:15,351
Nathan, I think it might be
a good idea if I'm there

68
00:06:15,421 --> 00:06:18,321
when you break the news
about installing cameras to the kids

69
00:06:18,390 --> 00:06:21,882
so the announcement is taken,
you know, seriously.

70
00:06:22,794 --> 00:06:25,126
Next message.
- Nathan, it's me.

71
00:06:25,195 --> 00:06:28,188
I'm wondering why Susan
hasn't been returning my calls.

72
00:06:28,265 --> 00:06:29,528
Is it of no consequence to you

73
00:06:29,601 --> 00:06:31,864
whether she has a relationship
with her mother, you fuck...

74
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,058
I think you got the wrong bus.

75
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:02,927
Western Summit High School, right?

76
00:07:02,999 --> 00:07:04,091
Okay.

77
00:07:20,749 --> 00:07:22,239
Hi, I'm Charlie.

78
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:24,308
Hi, Charlie. I'm Len.

79
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,815
Good to meet you, Len.

80
00:07:27,888 --> 00:07:30,186
It's good to meet you, Charlie.

81
00:07:34,695 --> 00:07:35,684
Thank you.

82
00:07:48,876 --> 00:07:50,467
Nice tie, homie.

83
00:07:53,813 --> 00:07:55,644
Killer roach, bro.

84
00:07:55,715 --> 00:07:57,945
Move out of the way! Get out!

85
00:08:25,077 --> 00:08:27,601
They didn't give you a locker
in the teachers' lounge?

86
00:08:27,678 --> 00:08:29,646
Oh, I'm not a teacher.

87
00:08:30,081 --> 00:08:32,413
You sure look like a teacher.

88
00:08:32,483 --> 00:08:36,010
Okay, everyone, last chance to sign up.
The auditions are today

89
00:08:36,087 --> 00:08:39,215
and will be held at 4:00
and everybody's welcome.

90
00:08:39,289 --> 00:08:42,224
Yeah. And for everyone who doesn't know,
this year we're doing Henry V.

91
00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:46,195
And it's Shakespeare, so feel free
to read for a role of the opposite sex.

92
00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:51,894
See you at 4:00, professor.

93
00:08:53,603 --> 00:08:55,537
Dense fucking nug, man.

94
00:08:55,938 --> 00:08:57,872
Shit, why are you looking at it like that?
You're gonna buy it.

95
00:08:57,940 --> 00:09:01,035
You've done every other time.
Just fucking buy it.

96
00:09:02,212 --> 00:09:03,872
Hi, I'm Charlie.

97
00:09:08,485 --> 00:09:10,884
What's that? Is that a briefcase?

98
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,353
Actually, I believe it's an attach� case.

99
00:09:14,890 --> 00:09:16,858
What's that thing on your jacket mean?

100
00:09:16,926 --> 00:09:18,187
Oh, this?

101
00:09:19,195 --> 00:09:22,061
Cor ad cor loquitur. It's in Latin.

102
00:09:23,064 --> 00:09:24,361
I think the translation is,

103
00:09:24,432 --> 00:09:27,299
"Heart speaks to heart, "
but I may be wrong.

104
00:09:27,836 --> 00:09:30,771
Is he, like, a total faggot or what? Shut up.

105
00:09:32,207 --> 00:09:35,335
Is that a rhetorical question?

106
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,672
Guess not.

107
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,381
Fuck him up!

108
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,618
Fuck, yeah!

109
00:09:47,488 --> 00:09:49,285
Guess what?
I think you like that, you little bitch.

110
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,756
How do you like that, you little bitch?

111
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,120
No smokes! Cigarettes out!

112
00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:02,262
What have we here?

113
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:05,228
Nothing. We're just messing around.

114
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:07,534
Mr. Bivens, Mr...

115
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,174
You, get to class. Now. Let's go.

116
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,643
Later, homo.

117
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,978
You okay?

118
00:10:24,055 --> 00:10:25,147
Yeah.

119
00:10:28,193 --> 00:10:31,287
I'm so sick of my parents.
Like, honestly, I'm 17.

120
00:10:31,363 --> 00:10:35,059
I don't see what the big deal is.
I mean, it's just a hole.

121
00:10:35,132 --> 00:10:37,465
I mean, what does my mom care
how many times I get my ears pierced?

122
00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:38,729
The squad doesn't care.

123
00:10:38,802 --> 00:10:41,066
Whitney, I think you should get
your na-na pierced.

124
00:10:41,138 --> 00:10:43,129
That's gross, you 'tard.

125
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,907
Hi, I'm Charlie.

126
00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:54,711
Come on.

127
00:11:09,532 --> 00:11:11,466
- Hi, Charlie.
- Hey, Len.

128
00:11:14,970 --> 00:11:17,097
Len, you want to join me?

129
00:11:17,172 --> 00:11:18,901
Thank you, Charlie.

130
00:11:22,344 --> 00:11:25,438
I got peas and carrots.

131
00:11:25,514 --> 00:11:27,914
I love peas and carrots.
- Me, too.

132
00:11:30,953 --> 00:11:35,355
When, Caius, Rome is thine,
thou art poorest of all,

133
00:11:36,190 --> 00:11:39,057
then shortly art thou mine.

134
00:11:40,796 --> 00:11:42,126
And scene.

135
00:11:43,931 --> 00:11:45,728
Thank you. That was stunning.

136
00:11:47,969 --> 00:11:49,596
Charlie Bartlett.

137
00:11:53,541 --> 00:11:57,102
So, which one of Shakespeare's works
will you be performing for us?

138
00:11:57,178 --> 00:12:01,273
Actually, I thought I'd do a monologue
from Cordiroy Seville's masterpiece,

139
00:12:01,348 --> 00:12:03,873
Misadventures of a Teenage Renegade.

140
00:12:11,791 --> 00:12:13,383
I guess I should tell you

141
00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:15,689
about the first time I had my period.

142
00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:19,558
My daddy was driving me back
from summer camp

143
00:12:19,632 --> 00:12:21,463
and I turned to him and I said,

144
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:25,128
"Daddy, I think I'm sloughing."

145
00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:28,036
And he said, "That's nice, honey."

146
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:32,070
And I realized that he had,

147
00:12:32,143 --> 00:12:37,171
like, no idea just what "sloughing" meant.

148
00:12:37,682 --> 00:12:40,776
So I explained to him that it meant

149
00:12:40,852 --> 00:12:45,949
blood was gushing
from my you-know-where.

150
00:12:46,624 --> 00:12:49,251
And he nearly wrecked the car

151
00:12:49,326 --> 00:12:52,193
trying to hand me
a wad of fast-food napkins,

152
00:12:52,262 --> 00:12:53,820
which is not something that you

153
00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:56,991
particularly want to stick up your hooch.

154
00:13:01,971 --> 00:13:03,599
Great. Thank you.

155
00:13:04,007 --> 00:13:05,803
I wasn't quite finished, actually.

156
00:13:05,876 --> 00:13:07,867
No. That'll do. Thank you, Charlie.

157
00:13:15,851 --> 00:13:18,217
I'm gonna fuck you up.

158
00:13:18,287 --> 00:13:19,982
- You getting this?
- Yeah. I'm getting it.

159
00:13:21,957 --> 00:13:24,391
- Yeah! Fuck him up, Murph!
- How does that feel?

160
00:13:24,459 --> 00:13:27,054
I don't care. You know why?
Because that was a rhetorical question.

161
00:13:28,263 --> 00:13:31,755
Hey, Charlie, what's Latin for,
"I'm a total pussy"?

162
00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:33,733
Let's get out of here.

163
00:13:37,939 --> 00:13:40,908
Charlie, how'd it go?
- Stellar.

164
00:13:41,409 --> 00:13:43,399
Did you make any friends?

165
00:13:47,748 --> 00:13:50,683
Okay, you can forget about
school tomorrow.

166
00:13:50,751 --> 00:13:52,845
I'm calling Dr. Weathers.

167
00:13:53,455 --> 00:13:58,448
Now, your mom tells me that you've been
getting into scrapes with the other boys.

168
00:13:59,226 --> 00:14:00,523
That's the best euphemism

169
00:14:00,594 --> 00:14:03,494
for getting the living crap
kicked out of you that I've ever heard.

170
00:14:03,563 --> 00:14:06,829
And why do you suppose
that you're being picked on?

171
00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:10,566
I don't know. I'm abnormal, I guess.

172
00:14:10,636 --> 00:14:12,501
You don't feel normal?

173
00:14:13,506 --> 00:14:17,306
My family has a psychiatrist on call.
How normal can that be?

174
00:14:18,778 --> 00:14:20,575
How are your classes?

175
00:14:21,046 --> 00:14:22,309
They're all right.

176
00:14:22,382 --> 00:14:25,179
I mean, I have trouble
concentrating sometimes.

177
00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:27,583
And what is it that you think about?

178
00:14:28,153 --> 00:14:31,088
I kind of have this one fantasy.

179
00:14:31,156 --> 00:14:32,623
Sexual?

180
00:14:32,691 --> 00:14:34,215
No, not really.

181
00:14:36,294 --> 00:14:39,286
It's just this fantasy of me
stepping out on stage,

182
00:14:39,364 --> 00:14:41,662
and there are all these kids
out in the audience

183
00:14:41,733 --> 00:14:45,725
chanting my name,
like I'm a rock star, you know.

184
00:14:45,803 --> 00:14:48,898
And so, I step up to the mike and I say,

185
00:14:49,373 --> 00:14:51,364
"How you all doing tonight?"

186
00:14:51,442 --> 00:14:53,603
And then they start cheering and cheering.

187
00:14:53,677 --> 00:14:56,373
"It's great to see all of you.
I'm Charlie Bartlett.

188
00:14:56,447 --> 00:14:59,382
"And if there's one thing
I want you to walk away with tonight,

189
00:14:59,449 --> 00:15:02,384
"it's that the sky is the limit.

190
00:15:02,452 --> 00:15:05,683
"So, for those of you with troubles,
for those of you feeling scared,

191
00:15:05,755 --> 00:15:07,848
"or confused or angry,

192
00:15:07,924 --> 00:15:11,485
"remember, you are not alone."

193
00:15:11,561 --> 00:15:13,495
And then they go nuts again.

194
00:15:23,873 --> 00:15:26,341
Charlie, how are you feeling
about your father these days?

195
00:15:26,408 --> 00:15:28,603
Are you angry that he's gone?

196
00:15:32,314 --> 00:15:34,805
- Gas prices.
- Excuse me?

197
00:15:35,317 --> 00:15:38,752
I also worry a lot in class
about rising gas prices.

198
00:15:42,423 --> 00:15:46,257
Charlie, I'm going to write you
a prescription for Ritalin,

199
00:15:46,327 --> 00:15:49,387
and what I'd like you to do
is start taking the low dose

200
00:15:49,465 --> 00:15:52,058
and if after a few days
you feel no side effects,

201
00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:55,830
then I would like to see
you start taking a higher dose.

202
00:15:55,903 --> 00:15:57,837
So you think I have ADD, or...

203
00:15:57,905 --> 00:16:02,170
We won't know that until the Ritalin
helps this concentration problem.

204
00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:06,902
You mean, if I take the medicine
and it helps me concentrate,

205
00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:09,006
we'll know I have ADD?

206
00:16:09,082 --> 00:16:10,572
That's the idea.

207
00:16:21,495 --> 00:16:23,053
Welcome back, professor.

208
00:16:23,129 --> 00:16:24,925
- Fuck you.
- Yeah. Fuck you.

209
00:16:26,398 --> 00:16:31,426
Can anyone tell me why Mercury
has only one day per year?

210
00:16:31,637 --> 00:16:35,403
Because Mercury is the only planet
that does not rotate on its axis.

211
00:17:13,276 --> 00:17:15,074
Hello. Good morning.

212
00:17:15,979 --> 00:17:18,606
The word of the day is "gratitude."

213
00:17:19,082 --> 00:17:21,345
"Gratitude: The quality of being thankful,

214
00:17:21,417 --> 00:17:24,511
"readiness to show appreciation for
and return kindness."

215
00:17:24,587 --> 00:17:28,148
As in, if you would all sit down
and shut up,

216
00:17:28,224 --> 00:17:31,853
I am prepared to express my gratitude.
Thank you.

217
00:17:32,461 --> 00:17:33,655
A lot on the agenda today.

218
00:17:33,729 --> 00:17:36,755
Our superintendent, Mr. Sedgwick,
is paying us a visit,

219
00:17:36,832 --> 00:17:39,494
so for my sake,
let's be on our best behavior.

220
00:17:41,003 --> 00:17:44,301
First off, the student lounge will be
closed Monday,

221
00:17:44,372 --> 00:17:46,340
while we install security cameras.

222
00:17:50,745 --> 00:17:52,007
Yes.

223
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,070
How can you do that?
That's, like, invasion of privacy.

224
00:17:55,349 --> 00:17:56,907
There's a liability issue,

225
00:17:56,984 --> 00:17:59,612
and I'm afraid the board
has already passed the motion.

226
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:02,850
Anyway, I would now like
to give Mr. Sedgwick the floor

227
00:18:02,923 --> 00:18:04,481
to discuss our cell phone policy.

228
00:18:04,558 --> 00:18:09,393
But the student lounge is the only place
we can hang out without teachers.

229
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:12,398
Are there cameras in the teachers' lounge?

230
00:18:14,935 --> 00:18:15,959
Hang out?

231
00:18:16,036 --> 00:18:19,937
Okay, we've already moved on
to the cell phone policy.

232
00:18:20,006 --> 00:18:22,566
There will be ample opportunity
to discuss that later, but right now...

233
00:18:22,642 --> 00:18:24,438
This is total and absolute bullshit!

234
00:18:24,510 --> 00:18:25,568
Come on.

235
00:18:26,779 --> 00:18:28,370
Right. Right.

236
00:18:28,514 --> 00:18:30,880
You know, you kids really need to
find appropriate ways

237
00:18:30,950 --> 00:18:33,612
to express your ingratitude.

238
00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:35,153
Mr. Sedgwick?

239
00:18:37,790 --> 00:18:38,847
The...

240
00:18:42,227 --> 00:18:44,218
Come on, guys, it's nothing.
It's just a fire drill.

241
00:18:44,296 --> 00:18:47,288
Proceed outside in an orderly fashion.

242
00:18:47,365 --> 00:18:49,800
Let's not have a stampede.

243
00:18:49,868 --> 00:18:51,858
They don't have much
respect for you, do they?

244
00:18:51,936 --> 00:18:55,372
In case you haven't noticed,
they're not too fond of you, either.

245
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,999
I said respect, Nathan, not affection.

246
00:18:58,076 --> 00:19:01,067
We're not trying to win
a popularity contest.

247
00:20:01,636 --> 00:20:05,231
I'm really looking forward to us
having the weekend alone.

248
00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:08,731
I thought maybe we could go
to a wine tasting.

249
00:20:09,677 --> 00:20:12,543
We haven't done that since you were a kid.

250
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,710
- Maybe.
- Maybe?

251
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:21,219
- You haven't touched your food.
- I'm not hungry, Mom.

252
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:24,451
I'm studying the osmosis of water
through the epidermis.

253
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:28,584
Now, I cooked a perfectly edible meal,
Charlie Bartlett.

254
00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:33,091
I'm feeling a little under-appreciated
at the moment.

255
00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:37,568
And I think it's very important
that you try to at least eat your greens.

256
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:41,100
Dear, didn't Dr. Weathers
say something yesterday about fluid?

257
00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:42,697
What did he say about...

258
00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:52,073
Are you listening to me?

259
00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:55,809
Hello!

260
00:20:57,422 --> 00:21:01,620
Can anybody up there hear me?

261
00:22:03,984 --> 00:22:06,452
Cock-a-doodle-doo!

262
00:22:08,122 --> 00:22:10,647
Charlie, is that you?

263
00:22:16,262 --> 00:22:20,028
Wake up, you sleepyheads, wake up!

264
00:22:24,737 --> 00:22:28,901
Wake up! Wake up!
My name is Charlie Bartlett,

265
00:22:28,975 --> 00:22:31,136
and I am not alone!

266
00:22:33,580 --> 00:22:36,811
Now, there's no history of drug use
whatsoever, Mrs...

267
00:22:37,984 --> 00:22:41,283
It's Marilyn.
Please, no need to be formal here.

268
00:22:41,354 --> 00:22:44,187
And drug use? No, none at all.

269
00:22:45,657 --> 00:22:48,524
Well, it looks like he's coming down some.

270
00:22:49,829 --> 00:22:53,355
I'm not an MD, but it is possible
for Ritalin to get you pretty high.

271
00:22:53,432 --> 00:22:55,832
That's probably what it is.
It is a new medication.

272
00:23:06,845 --> 00:23:08,335
Charlie, dear.

273
00:23:11,716 --> 00:23:15,243
Yeah, as I was saying, a lot of the kids
at the colleges are taking this stuff.

274
00:23:15,318 --> 00:23:19,050
When I was in college,
we were dropping tabs of acid.

275
00:23:19,457 --> 00:23:22,051
I've never partaken in
any illicit drugs myself.

276
00:23:25,496 --> 00:23:26,826
Maybe...

277
00:23:27,530 --> 00:23:29,464
Maybe you got slapped around
too many times

278
00:23:29,532 --> 00:23:32,000
for lunch money on your way to the bus.

279
00:23:32,068 --> 00:23:34,593
Maybe your pop's got a boozing... No.

280
00:23:35,739 --> 00:23:37,400
Maybe your pop...

281
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,300
Maybe your pop's gotta
booze himself up every morning.

282
00:23:41,377 --> 00:23:44,642
Maybe your father has to, how do you say,

283
00:23:45,515 --> 00:23:47,106
plow roads with a sense of humor.

284
00:23:47,182 --> 00:23:49,047
I mean, he has to booze himself up.

285
00:23:49,118 --> 00:23:50,881
With a sense of humor.

286
00:23:58,594 --> 00:24:00,754
- Morning.
- Good morning.

287
00:24:00,828 --> 00:24:02,056
Hey, Charlie.
- Hey.

288
00:24:02,130 --> 00:24:04,190
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, guys.

289
00:24:04,265 --> 00:24:06,392
- Hey, Len.
- Hey, Charlie.

290
00:24:08,102 --> 00:24:12,163
Len, do you feel like making 50 bucks
after school today?

291
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:13,570
Fifty bucks.

292
00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:29,214
Hey!

293
00:24:30,389 --> 00:24:31,823
What the hell is this?

294
00:24:31,892 --> 00:24:35,487
- Charlie wants to talk to you.
- Suck this, mongoloid.

295
00:24:36,128 --> 00:24:38,153
Get the hell off me! Fuck!

296
00:24:42,168 --> 00:24:43,430
Hi, Murphy. How are you?

297
00:24:43,502 --> 00:24:45,060
You must have a fucking death wish!

298
00:24:45,137 --> 00:24:47,765
Charlie says you gotta be nice.

299
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:51,571
Look, Murph, I think we got started off
on the wrong foot.

300
00:24:51,644 --> 00:24:54,168
- I want to work things out.
- I'm gonna put you in the fucking hospital.

301
00:24:55,347 --> 00:24:56,576
- Len.
- Fuck.

302
00:24:57,515 --> 00:24:58,709
Len.

303
00:25:03,388 --> 00:25:08,189
Listen, Murph, I've had a lot of time
to think about what you did to me.

304
00:25:08,259 --> 00:25:11,023
Yeah? What did you come up with, genius?

305
00:25:11,096 --> 00:25:12,824
I think you're angry, man.

306
00:25:12,896 --> 00:25:15,491
What have I got to be angry about?

307
00:25:18,870 --> 00:25:20,837
Maybe you got slapped around
one too many times

308
00:25:20,904 --> 00:25:23,395
for lunch money on your way to the bus.

309
00:25:23,474 --> 00:25:25,772
Maybe your pop's gotta
booze himself up every morning

310
00:25:25,843 --> 00:25:28,174
so he can plow roads
with a sense of humor.

311
00:25:28,244 --> 00:25:30,371
Then when he gets home, you're just

312
00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:33,574
a distant third to Sloppy Joes
and a bad sitcom.

313
00:25:34,250 --> 00:25:37,708
Maybe the cheerleaders call you
a scumbag behind your back.

314
00:25:38,155 --> 00:25:40,782
Maybe it's because the school's
got you placed on the remedial track

315
00:25:40,857 --> 00:25:45,021
and your teachers are really good
at making you feel like an idiot.

316
00:25:49,432 --> 00:25:51,866
Maybe it's none of these things.

317
00:25:52,802 --> 00:25:55,269
Maybe it's all of them.

318
00:26:00,443 --> 00:26:04,173
- What do you want from me?
- I wanna be your friend, Murphy.

319
00:26:07,049 --> 00:26:09,745
Okay, maybe you're not a total tool,

320
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:13,685
but guys like you and guys like me
can't be friends.

321
00:26:14,089 --> 00:26:16,955
- Why's that?
- I take the train tracks home.

322
00:26:17,558 --> 00:26:21,085
- You drive around in a limo.
- I guess you're right.

323
00:26:22,096 --> 00:26:25,759
Look, I got 90 pills of Ritalin
that we could sell at the dance.

324
00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:29,633
Maybe we're just gonna have to
settle for being business partners.

325
00:26:29,703 --> 00:26:30,761
What do these do?

326
00:26:30,838 --> 00:26:34,035
Floods the brain
with norepinephrine and dopamine.

327
00:26:35,109 --> 00:26:36,770
It gets you high.

328
00:26:37,710 --> 00:26:39,234
So, I figure $10 a pill, right?

329
00:26:39,312 --> 00:26:40,370
We split the profit,

330
00:26:40,447 --> 00:26:44,439
which means you make almost 500 bucks
without spending a nickel.

331
00:26:50,355 --> 00:26:52,290
Business partners, huh?

332
00:26:55,961 --> 00:26:57,520
So, 1:00, right?

333
00:26:57,596 --> 00:26:59,587
What? What happens at 1:00?

334
00:26:59,665 --> 00:27:02,634
- My curfew, at 1:00.
- Where are you going?

335
00:27:02,700 --> 00:27:06,534
The dance, Dad. I'm going to the dance.
I told you last week.

336
00:27:07,206 --> 00:27:09,606
- Have you given up your singing?
- No. Why?

337
00:27:09,675 --> 00:27:12,370
I don't know, just...
You've got a great voice.

338
00:27:12,443 --> 00:27:14,241
I used to love coming home
to hear you singing in the other room.

339
00:27:15,414 --> 00:27:18,211
That's how I knew
you were happy, I guess.

340
00:27:19,851 --> 00:27:22,945
Happily texting,
ignoring this intimate exchange.

341
00:27:23,020 --> 00:27:25,283
Who's that? Who are you texting?

342
00:27:25,355 --> 00:27:27,085
Rodine's outside.

343
00:27:28,860 --> 00:27:30,053
Have fun.

344
00:27:30,128 --> 00:27:33,619
- I will. So, 2:00, right?
- Nice try.

345
00:27:33,698 --> 00:27:37,189
God, I liked you better
when you were a history teacher.

346
00:27:37,267 --> 00:27:39,064
That makes two of us.

347
00:27:41,438 --> 00:27:44,430
- I'll see you guys in a minute.
- Okay.

348
00:27:44,508 --> 00:27:47,341
- Hey, Susan.
- Hey.

349
00:27:48,612 --> 00:27:52,138
So, you think there's any chance
of a dance tonight, or...

350
00:27:53,849 --> 00:27:57,444
I'd say there's a distinct possibility,
Charlie Bartlett.

351
00:28:02,458 --> 00:28:03,515
Hey.

352
00:28:04,793 --> 00:28:07,921
- So, how did we do?
- Well, it's gone.

353
00:28:08,496 --> 00:28:11,226
- Gone?
- All of it. Every last pill.

354
00:28:12,066 --> 00:28:13,431
It's gone.

355
00:28:13,935 --> 00:28:15,402
- Well, shit.
- Yeah.

356
00:28:20,108 --> 00:28:21,972
Superman!

357
00:28:22,042 --> 00:28:24,671
Eighty-eight miles per hour!

358
00:28:33,687 --> 00:28:35,086
Fucking A!

359
00:28:56,608 --> 00:28:58,804
Hey, Charlie. What's up, man?

360
00:29:08,620 --> 00:29:09,951
Hey, man.

361
00:29:48,424 --> 00:29:50,984
- This sucks.
- Seriously sucks.

362
00:30:05,140 --> 00:30:06,505
Thank you.

363
00:30:07,242 --> 00:30:08,834
Charlie, you want to sign this petition?

364
00:30:08,910 --> 00:30:10,639
It's to get the security cameras
out of our student lounge.

365
00:30:10,712 --> 00:30:12,202
Oh, absolutely.

366
00:30:13,048 --> 00:30:15,141
- It's right here.
- All right.

367
00:30:15,450 --> 00:30:16,508
- Thanks.
- No problem.

368
00:30:16,584 --> 00:30:17,916
See you later, Charlie.

369
00:30:17,986 --> 00:30:20,216
- Hey, girls. You gonna sign this?
- Yeah.

370
00:30:25,294 --> 00:30:26,317
Hi.

371
00:30:29,830 --> 00:30:32,060
- You're Charlie Bartlett, right?
- Yeah.

372
00:30:32,133 --> 00:30:34,294
I'm Kip. Kip Crombwell.

373
00:30:35,303 --> 00:30:37,203
Nice to meet you, Kip.

374
00:30:39,106 --> 00:30:40,232
Yeah.

375
00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:45,835
Do you think there's any way
that we could maybe talk in private?

376
00:30:49,349 --> 00:30:50,441
Sure.

377
00:30:51,184 --> 00:30:54,676
Everyone, come on, this petition
gets those cameras out of our lounge.

378
00:30:58,758 --> 00:31:00,247
So, what's up?

379
00:31:02,962 --> 00:31:06,124
Is it true that you can get a hold
of medication?

380
00:31:07,032 --> 00:31:09,432
Yeah, I guess. Why? What's going on?

381
00:31:12,971 --> 00:31:15,405
I'm, like, totally depressed.

382
00:31:15,473 --> 00:31:19,001
I've been having these spells,
and trouble breathing,

383
00:31:19,078 --> 00:31:20,669
mostly in class.

384
00:31:22,513 --> 00:31:24,413
What does it feel like?

385
00:31:24,817 --> 00:31:27,011
It feels like a heart attack.

386
00:31:28,319 --> 00:31:31,482
But I'm thinking, you know,
it's probably mental.

387
00:31:33,524 --> 00:31:34,582
And I can't go to my parents about it,

388
00:31:34,658 --> 00:31:37,355
because they already think I'm a freak,
so I just thought that you...

389
00:31:37,428 --> 00:31:40,055
Look, I'm not a doctor, but...

390
00:31:40,964 --> 00:31:43,694
I don't know if Ritalin's gonna help you.

391
00:31:44,469 --> 00:31:46,561
Do you know what would?

392
00:31:46,636 --> 00:31:48,103
I'm not sure.

393
00:31:51,742 --> 00:31:53,767
But I'm gonna find out.

394
00:31:54,277 --> 00:31:56,768
I'm gonna work this out, I promise.

395
00:31:57,780 --> 00:31:58,906
Yeah.

396
00:31:59,548 --> 00:32:00,537
Thanks.

397
00:32:27,909 --> 00:32:32,972
I get short of breath and dizzy,
you know, nausea, blurred vision.

398
00:32:33,047 --> 00:32:36,175
I mean, sometimes it feels like
a heart attack.

399
00:32:36,250 --> 00:32:38,650
Yeah, we call that a panic attack.

400
00:32:38,719 --> 00:32:40,448
Oh, is that what they call it?

401
00:32:40,521 --> 00:32:41,887
Well, what can we do?

402
00:32:41,955 --> 00:32:46,392
Well, I think maybe
I'll put you on a low dose of

403
00:32:46,460 --> 00:32:49,258
Xanax and Zoloft.

404
00:32:52,265 --> 00:32:55,757
Okay, so, here's the thing.
In everything that I've read,

405
00:32:55,835 --> 00:32:59,737
there's not one case of anyone dying
of a panic attack.

406
00:33:00,773 --> 00:33:03,207
- No?
- No. Not one.

407
00:33:03,276 --> 00:33:07,109
So the next time you start to feel anxious,
you just tell yourself,

408
00:33:07,180 --> 00:33:11,411
"Hey, I'm having a panic attack.
I'm not gonna die.

409
00:33:11,483 --> 00:33:15,214
"In fact, in 15 minutes,
I'll probably feel fine."

410
00:33:17,989 --> 00:33:19,718
What do I do until then?

411
00:33:20,292 --> 00:33:22,624
Murph, start him on
50 milligrams of Zoloft

412
00:33:22,694 --> 00:33:25,754
and half a milligram of Xanax as needed.

413
00:33:28,433 --> 00:33:30,696
Here, Kip, this should provide you
with some relief

414
00:33:30,768 --> 00:33:33,168
and we'll just meet next week,
same time, same place, okay?

415
00:33:34,438 --> 00:33:37,271
- Thank you, Charlie.
- No problem. Be nice, Murphy.

416
00:33:52,355 --> 00:33:55,256
Charlie, I spoke to Dr. Weathers today.

417
00:33:55,325 --> 00:33:58,123
He said you may have not only ADD,

418
00:33:58,828 --> 00:34:02,229
but a whole battery
of psychological disorders

419
00:34:02,298 --> 00:34:04,960
that will likely plague you for life.

420
00:34:06,535 --> 00:34:08,435
Sounds a bit melodramatic,
don't you think?

421
00:34:08,505 --> 00:34:10,096
That's what I said.

422
00:34:10,172 --> 00:34:14,268
Then he went on to imply that
you may have inherited it from me.

423
00:34:15,077 --> 00:34:16,942
I was rather perturbed.

424
00:34:17,012 --> 00:34:20,345
I mean, look at me.
I'm as fit as a fucking fiddle.

425
00:34:21,883 --> 00:34:23,784
Can't argue with that.

426
00:34:24,953 --> 00:34:27,421
Are you making any friends at all?

427
00:34:28,957 --> 00:34:30,480
Working on it.

428
00:34:33,661 --> 00:34:36,095
He says he doesn't want to see me.

429
00:34:36,164 --> 00:34:38,222
I can't stop crying.

430
00:34:38,299 --> 00:34:42,963
Well, sometimes people say one thing
and they really mean another, like...

431
00:34:43,037 --> 00:34:46,301
He called me a loser,
and last night he hit my mom.

432
00:34:47,174 --> 00:34:50,700
You have to understand that
what he's doing isn't because of you.

433
00:34:50,777 --> 00:34:52,837
He hates his life so much that...

434
00:34:52,913 --> 00:34:56,679
All I wanna do is drop acid.
I just can't handle this place.

435
00:34:57,884 --> 00:35:00,079
Duh, dude. This place sucks.

436
00:35:00,453 --> 00:35:02,785
But I just worry that one day
we're gonna look back at high school

437
00:35:02,856 --> 00:35:04,983
and wish we'd done something different.

438
00:35:05,058 --> 00:35:06,116
So maybe you should...

439
00:35:06,192 --> 00:35:07,284
Get breast implants.

440
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,293
I mean, a lot of my friends
are getting them.

441
00:35:09,362 --> 00:35:11,761
Well, that's up to you,
but speaking as a guy,

442
00:35:11,831 --> 00:35:14,458
it's kind of a turnoff when a girl
isn't cool with being herself.

443
00:35:14,967 --> 00:35:16,867
I'm not saying that I'm gay.

444
00:35:17,403 --> 00:35:20,599
So what if, you know,
I'm not attracted to girls?

445
00:35:21,073 --> 00:35:23,233
You know, this sucks, man.

446
00:35:23,308 --> 00:35:26,210
Well, at least you're attracted
to somebody.

447
00:35:26,278 --> 00:35:28,769
I mean, if you weren't,
then we'd really be up shit's creek.

448
00:35:29,514 --> 00:35:32,381
I feel very productive,
and I can't sleep at all.

449
00:35:32,450 --> 00:35:36,284
I lose weight,
and I'm given to frivolous spending

450
00:35:36,354 --> 00:35:37,946
and promiscuity.

451
00:35:38,523 --> 00:35:40,650
Wow. What I'd like to do is...

452
00:35:40,725 --> 00:35:43,693
Introduce you to some of
the serotonergic antidepressants,

453
00:35:43,761 --> 00:35:45,251
like Prozac.

454
00:35:45,329 --> 00:35:46,422
What else can you tell me about...

455
00:35:46,497 --> 00:35:50,990
Feelings of depersonalization
and boredom.

456
00:35:51,301 --> 00:35:53,292
Anger and aggression. Irritability.

457
00:35:53,370 --> 00:35:56,498
Obsessive behavior is I guess
what you guys call it.

458
00:35:56,573 --> 00:36:00,804
Like, whenever I hear anyone say a word
that starts with the letter...

459
00:36:01,311 --> 00:36:03,835
I have to say five words that start
with the letter "V"

460
00:36:03,913 --> 00:36:06,473
and tap my head with my right hand.

461
00:36:07,417 --> 00:36:08,441
Perhaps we should start with...

462
00:36:08,518 --> 00:36:11,748
Viagra! Virgin! Venal! Vagabond! Vagina!

463
00:36:29,771 --> 00:36:31,329
- Thanks.
- No problem.

464
00:36:31,406 --> 00:36:32,532
You're in luck.

465
00:36:32,607 --> 00:36:34,404
We're running a special
on Wellbutrin today.

466
00:36:41,449 --> 00:36:44,475
Is there something wrong
with the other bathroom?

467
00:36:44,551 --> 00:36:45,540
Yo!

468
00:36:56,396 --> 00:36:57,796
Hi, Charlie!

469
00:36:58,432 --> 00:37:00,900
- Hi, Charlie!
- Hi, Charlie!

470
00:37:01,934 --> 00:37:03,027
Hi.

471
00:37:04,838 --> 00:37:08,000
I'm so glad to hear
that you're doing better, Charlie.

472
00:37:08,074 --> 00:37:10,133
The truth is, we sometimes don't know

473
00:37:10,210 --> 00:37:12,143
how you youngsters
are gonna react to these medications.

474
00:37:13,613 --> 00:37:17,173
Trust me, Doc, bringing psychiatric
drugs and teenagers together

475
00:37:17,250 --> 00:37:20,343
is like opening a lemonade stand
in the desert.

476
00:37:25,323 --> 00:37:29,760
Can you shut the fuck up for one second?
We're working here. Shit.

477
00:37:29,828 --> 00:37:32,729
- Whatever, man.
- Fuck.

478
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,764
Murph, is that my face making that sound?

479
00:37:38,903 --> 00:37:42,135
Yeah. It's kind of sad, dude.
You didn't even put up a fight.

480
00:37:42,207 --> 00:37:45,004
What did you tape this for, anyway?

481
00:37:45,076 --> 00:37:48,136
I always have my fights taped.
It's what I do.

482
00:37:48,713 --> 00:37:49,702
Really?

483
00:37:49,780 --> 00:37:54,240
Yeah, man, they're fun to watch in, like,
a Greatest Rodeo Deaths kind of way.

484
00:37:54,318 --> 00:37:56,547
You don't feel bad
for the kids or anything?

485
00:37:56,619 --> 00:37:57,780
Bad?

486
00:38:01,325 --> 00:38:02,586
Kind of.

487
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,126
Well, what do you want me to do?

488
00:38:07,464 --> 00:38:11,093
- Maybe we should make it up to them?
- Dude, are you serious?

489
00:38:11,534 --> 00:38:13,296
Charlie Bartlett
Productions brings you...

490
00:38:17,940 --> 00:38:20,306
Starring Murphy Bivens!

491
00:38:21,978 --> 00:38:23,535
Bert Bannister!

492
00:38:23,612 --> 00:38:24,772
Hammer!

493
00:38:27,216 --> 00:38:28,706
Terry Gotham!

494
00:38:31,385 --> 00:38:32,409
Phuc Nguyen!

495
00:38:34,990 --> 00:38:38,049
Charlie Bartlett! And Kip Crombwell,

496
00:38:38,126 --> 00:38:41,254
the kid whose name
you probably didn't know.

497
00:38:43,765 --> 00:38:48,361
Right here on Western Summit High's
Greatest After School Fights!

498
00:38:49,537 --> 00:38:52,973
Watch Murphy Bivens' fists of fury
pummel your best friends.

499
00:38:53,039 --> 00:38:55,907
Get them while they last!
Bert Bannister hit in the face!

500
00:38:55,976 --> 00:38:57,911
Charlie Bartlett punched in the eye!

501
00:38:57,978 --> 00:39:01,039
Instant gratification or your money back!

502
00:39:01,115 --> 00:39:03,048
Ladies and gentlemen, we are almost out!

503
00:39:03,117 --> 00:39:04,549
- Hey, Charlie.
- Kip. Hey.

504
00:39:04,618 --> 00:39:06,711
I heard that you were giving us
some of the proceeds?

505
00:39:06,787 --> 00:39:08,652
You heard right, my friend. Murph?

506
00:39:08,722 --> 00:39:09,983
There you go.
Pleasure doing business with you.

507
00:39:10,055 --> 00:39:11,853
- Hey, Murph.
- Come on.

508
00:39:11,925 --> 00:39:13,187
Murph.

509
00:39:14,828 --> 00:39:16,591
- I'll see you in the sequel, bitch!
- Thank you.

510
00:39:16,663 --> 00:39:18,289
Sequel coming out this fall!

511
00:39:18,364 --> 00:39:20,958
Ladies and gentlemen,
even better than this one!

512
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,614
Charlie Bartlett
to the principal's office.

513
00:39:39,051 --> 00:39:42,247
So, you're the infamous Charlie Bartlett.
We haven't officially met yet.

514
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,185
I'm Nathan Gardner,
your beloved principal,

515
00:39:44,255 --> 00:39:46,246
and this is our superintendent,
Mr. Sedgwick,

516
00:39:46,324 --> 00:39:48,952
who made a special visit to meet you.

517
00:39:51,062 --> 00:39:54,053
Is it safe to assume
you know why you're here?

518
00:39:55,299 --> 00:39:56,891
No, not exactly.

519
00:40:05,042 --> 00:40:08,068
This might well be the most disturbing
thing I've ever seen at this school.

520
00:40:08,145 --> 00:40:11,477
Peddling this kind of trash
makes you reprehensible.

521
00:40:13,316 --> 00:40:15,682
Do you know
what "reprehensible" means?

522
00:40:15,751 --> 00:40:18,948
- Yes, sir.
- Do you understand what you did wrong?

523
00:40:19,956 --> 00:40:21,753
No, sir. Not really.

524
00:40:23,459 --> 00:40:24,448
Not really? Okay.

525
00:40:24,527 --> 00:40:28,258
Well, you've got three days
of suspension to think about it.

526
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:33,924
Hey, what's up?

527
00:40:34,003 --> 00:40:36,334
Hey, aren't you suspended?

528
00:40:36,404 --> 00:40:37,462
- Yeah.
- Nice.

529
00:40:37,539 --> 00:40:39,803
Hey, do you wanna hang out?
- Sure.

530
00:40:39,875 --> 00:40:42,810
- Cool. Come inside.
- Thank you.

531
00:40:43,879 --> 00:40:46,142
Do you want
to spend an evening at Ch�teau Bartlett?

532
00:40:46,213 --> 00:40:47,272
Yes.

533
00:40:47,349 --> 00:40:49,543
Thomas, Ch�teau Bartlett,
please.

534
00:40:51,453 --> 00:40:54,421
Is this technically
considered a mansion?

535
00:40:54,489 --> 00:40:57,616
Well, my mom calls it "The Estate."

536
00:40:57,691 --> 00:40:59,215
Oh. La-di-da.

537
00:41:00,828 --> 00:41:03,159
Oh, can you play this one?

538
00:41:03,664 --> 00:41:04,891
Yeah.

539
00:41:59,717 --> 00:42:01,014
Hi, Mom.

540
00:42:03,119 --> 00:42:06,180
Oh, yeah. Mom, this is Susan.

541
00:42:06,257 --> 00:42:09,054
Susan, this is my mother, Marilyn.

542
00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:12,685
It's such a pleasure to meet you, Susan.

543
00:42:12,762 --> 00:42:14,856
Yeah, you too, Marilyn.

544
00:42:28,011 --> 00:42:30,945
- She seems very nice.
- Yeah.

545
00:42:31,947 --> 00:42:34,415
Do I get to meet your dad, too?

546
00:42:36,885 --> 00:42:40,286
No, he's actually not with us anymore.

547
00:42:40,356 --> 00:42:41,846
Oh. I'm sorry.

548
00:42:42,992 --> 00:42:45,222
Yeah. It's okay.

549
00:42:46,462 --> 00:42:49,328
He was a CIA agent, you know. Yeah.

550
00:42:49,398 --> 00:42:53,356
He survived Somalia, Yugoslavia, Iraq.

551
00:42:53,901 --> 00:42:55,994
Finally, he came home, you know,

552
00:42:56,070 --> 00:42:59,665
and our favorite thing to do together
was to get ice cream.

553
00:43:00,375 --> 00:43:03,071
So, one day, I was just sitting around

554
00:43:03,144 --> 00:43:05,874
and I heard the ice cream truck outside

555
00:43:05,947 --> 00:43:08,676
and it always played the same song,

556
00:43:08,749 --> 00:43:10,512
Yankee Doodle.

557
00:43:11,052 --> 00:43:14,646
So, basically, he ran out
to stop the truck and it just

558
00:43:14,721 --> 00:43:17,713
drove right over him
and killed him instantly.

559
00:43:18,959 --> 00:43:20,653
Are you fucking with me?

560
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,332
- Bravo. Really.
- Thank you.

561
00:43:35,408 --> 00:43:37,069
You're too kind.

562
00:43:39,110 --> 00:43:41,511
Say, George, just one more will do.

563
00:43:43,314 --> 00:43:44,576
Thanks.

564
00:43:45,683 --> 00:43:48,209
- How you doing, Nate?
- Hi, Bert.

565
00:43:48,286 --> 00:43:49,810
What's going on? How you been?

566
00:43:49,888 --> 00:43:50,980
Good.

567
00:43:52,223 --> 00:43:53,747
Listen, Nate,

568
00:43:54,692 --> 00:43:57,422
do you know this Charlie Bartlett kid?

569
00:43:59,029 --> 00:44:00,998
A bit. Why do you ask?

570
00:44:02,901 --> 00:44:04,368
You're not gonna like it.

571
00:44:07,472 --> 00:44:09,462
- What?
- Get off the phone.

572
00:44:10,074 --> 00:44:11,302
- Hang up the phone.
- Okay.

573
00:44:11,375 --> 00:44:13,707
- Thank you.
- I'll call you right back.

574
00:44:13,777 --> 00:44:15,870
You're gonna shut down this power grid,
please, for one second.

575
00:44:15,945 --> 00:44:17,310
Thank you.

576
00:44:19,215 --> 00:44:20,581
And the TV.

577
00:44:20,918 --> 00:44:22,316
Whatever.

578
00:44:23,886 --> 00:44:24,944
What?

579
00:44:25,022 --> 00:44:27,956
Are you seeing a boy
named Charlie Bartlett?

580
00:44:28,024 --> 00:44:29,582
Well, if you know I am,
why are you asking?

581
00:44:29,659 --> 00:44:31,820
I don't know, but now I do. Okay?

582
00:44:31,894 --> 00:44:33,555
What does he want?

583
00:44:34,062 --> 00:44:35,155
Are you drunk?

584
00:44:35,230 --> 00:44:37,131
Do you expect me to qualify that
with an answer?

585
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:38,894
Be really careful right now.
I'm not kidding.

586
00:44:38,967 --> 00:44:40,662
I met this kid. I was a teenage boy once...

587
00:44:40,735 --> 00:44:42,293
You know what? I would understand
if you were drunk, Dad,

588
00:44:42,370 --> 00:44:44,964
- because you're acting like a jackass!
- Sweetie, be open to the possibility

589
00:44:45,041 --> 00:44:46,872
that he would love
to tell his friends how he...

590
00:44:46,942 --> 00:44:48,807
Oh, how he what?

591
00:44:51,046 --> 00:44:52,240
You know.

592
00:44:52,314 --> 00:44:54,874
- No. How he what?
- Yes. You know what.

593
00:44:55,383 --> 00:44:57,851
How he... With the principal's daughter.

594
00:44:57,918 --> 00:44:59,147
Come on.

595
00:45:00,888 --> 00:45:01,981
Shit.

596
00:45:06,393 --> 00:45:07,621
Wow.

597
00:45:07,695 --> 00:45:09,219
Thanks for the wonderful
compliment, Dad.

598
00:45:09,296 --> 00:45:10,957
Come on, obviously, that came out wrong.

599
00:45:11,031 --> 00:45:12,328
Sure did.

600
00:45:41,361 --> 00:45:43,385
Time to get up, Charlie.

601
00:45:45,397 --> 00:45:48,161
I don't have to go anywhere, Mom.
I'm suspended.

602
00:45:48,233 --> 00:45:49,996
I am aware of that.

603
00:45:50,068 --> 00:45:53,594
Come on. Get dressed.
We're visiting your father today.

604
00:46:16,194 --> 00:46:18,128
Thank you, Thomas.

605
00:46:18,196 --> 00:46:19,423
Charlie?

606
00:46:23,733 --> 00:46:26,258
You come in when you're ready, dear.

607
00:46:55,396 --> 00:46:57,057
- Was he worried?
- Nope.

608
00:46:57,131 --> 00:47:01,898
He says, whatever's going on with you,
he's sure you're going to work it out.

609
00:47:04,305 --> 00:47:06,535
Yeah, that sounds about right.

610
00:47:10,812 --> 00:47:12,403
Boy, time flies.

611
00:47:13,514 --> 00:47:15,879
How was your 72-hour meditation?

612
00:47:16,818 --> 00:47:18,307
Pretty enlightening.

613
00:47:18,385 --> 00:47:21,684
Yeah, I'm proud to say
I'm completely rehabilitated.

614
00:47:22,289 --> 00:47:24,689
Very interesting resume, Charlie.

615
00:47:25,158 --> 00:47:27,388
Is there a private school
you haven't been kicked out of?

616
00:47:27,461 --> 00:47:30,861
- Why? You checking up on me?
- Don't flatter yourself.

617
00:47:31,365 --> 00:47:32,559
Sorry.

618
00:47:32,633 --> 00:47:34,658
Principals have access
to academic records.

619
00:47:34,735 --> 00:47:38,966
As you know, I'm the principal,
and as principal I will do my best

620
00:47:39,038 --> 00:47:43,270
to help you graduate with
what you will need to survive in the world.

621
00:47:43,942 --> 00:47:47,070
But I'm not always the principal.
Sometimes I'm other things.

622
00:47:47,145 --> 00:47:48,806
Really? Like what?

623
00:47:49,282 --> 00:47:51,044
Like Susan's father.

624
00:47:52,951 --> 00:47:54,009
Oh.

625
00:47:55,086 --> 00:47:57,554
Don't worry, Charlie,
I'm not gonna call you into my office

626
00:47:57,622 --> 00:47:59,920
and have one of those intimidating
father-boyfriend talks.

627
00:47:59,991 --> 00:48:01,958
I'm not that kind of dad.

628
00:48:02,027 --> 00:48:03,392
Well, thank you.

629
00:48:03,461 --> 00:48:04,620
Because if I were one of those dads,

630
00:48:04,695 --> 00:48:08,792
I'd probably say how my job
is a distant second to my daughter,

631
00:48:10,367 --> 00:48:11,892
and so help me God, if you get out of line,

632
00:48:11,969 --> 00:48:15,837
I will take a massive steaming dump
on your life.

633
00:48:25,949 --> 00:48:27,813
Good to have you back.

634
00:48:29,819 --> 00:48:32,117
Hey, Murph.
- Hey.

635
00:48:33,856 --> 00:48:35,949
- Hello.
- Hello.

636
00:48:36,559 --> 00:48:41,359
So, how does this work?
Do I just talk, or... Does Murphy listen?

637
00:48:41,431 --> 00:48:44,729
Well, he's bound
by a confidentiality agreement.

638
00:48:44,801 --> 00:48:47,268
But he can leave if you want.

639
00:48:47,337 --> 00:48:50,829
- Yeah, maybe just for this first time.
- All right.

640
00:48:50,906 --> 00:48:52,737
Sorry, Murph.

641
00:48:52,809 --> 00:48:54,469
Yeah, yeah, I heard you.

642
00:48:54,543 --> 00:48:56,807
It's not like
I'm your fucking business partner.

643
00:48:56,878 --> 00:48:58,903
So, what did my dad want?

644
00:49:01,382 --> 00:49:03,374
He just wanted to welcome me back.

645
00:49:03,452 --> 00:49:06,819
He didn't say anything about me
hanging out with you?

646
00:49:07,755 --> 00:49:09,120
Not really.

647
00:49:10,024 --> 00:49:13,858
Maybe the way to do this
is to ask a question.

648
00:49:14,829 --> 00:49:16,319
What question?

649
00:49:16,797 --> 00:49:19,857
Charlie, I don't know.
You're the professional.

650
00:49:20,768 --> 00:49:25,171
All right. Well, I guess the obvious one is
how do you feel about your dad?

651
00:49:25,238 --> 00:49:29,174
You mean, besides the fact that this
stupid job turned him into an alcoholic?

652
00:49:29,242 --> 00:49:30,334
Okay.

653
00:49:31,711 --> 00:49:33,804
How do you feel about that?

654
00:49:34,214 --> 00:49:37,843
I think it actually bothers him
more than me, to be honest.

655
00:49:37,917 --> 00:49:40,044
But there was the night.

656
00:49:41,087 --> 00:49:42,816
What's "the night"?

657
00:49:44,090 --> 00:49:46,990
The night he found out
my mother was having an affair.

658
00:49:47,059 --> 00:49:52,656
He was plastered, waving this. 38 revolver
around, threatening to kill himself.

659
00:49:55,167 --> 00:49:56,156
Wow.

660
00:49:59,704 --> 00:50:02,434
So, your mom left and you stayed, right?

661
00:50:04,143 --> 00:50:05,803
Yeah, pretty much.

662
00:50:07,445 --> 00:50:10,175
Well, he promised to get rid of the gun,

663
00:50:10,248 --> 00:50:12,648
and then he went into treatment
for a while.

664
00:50:12,717 --> 00:50:17,278
And then, for whatever reason,
he decided he was into boats.

665
00:50:17,354 --> 00:50:19,083
You know, it's like someone said,

666
00:50:19,157 --> 00:50:22,524
"Hey, you, you're crazy.
Chill out and get a hobby."

667
00:50:25,797 --> 00:50:27,491
- Susan.
- Yes?

668
00:50:30,534 --> 00:50:34,163
I'm still waiting for you to tell me
how you feel about your dad.

669
00:50:34,237 --> 00:50:35,294
Ah.

670
00:50:35,505 --> 00:50:36,972
You're tough.

671
00:50:40,977 --> 00:50:44,640
I guess what I'm trying to say is it just...

672
00:50:45,449 --> 00:50:50,943
It kind of sucks having one parent ditch
and then the other one lose their mind.

673
00:50:56,892 --> 00:51:02,227
I mean, how can I possibly hope
to turn out even remotely functional?

674
00:51:06,268 --> 00:51:07,359
Yeah.

675
00:51:12,573 --> 00:51:15,907
Well, I kind of do feel better.

676
00:51:18,512 --> 00:51:19,774
I'm glad.

677
00:51:21,282 --> 00:51:24,410
Well, thanks for listening, Charlie Bartlett.

678
00:51:24,486 --> 00:51:26,511
No problem, Susan Gardner.

679
00:51:42,669 --> 00:51:43,828
Susan?

680
00:52:16,634 --> 00:52:17,692
Hey.

681
00:52:17,869 --> 00:52:19,199
Listen up.

682
00:52:20,204 --> 00:52:22,764
All right, due to the booming economy
of our fine school,

683
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:27,903
Dr. Charlie Bartlett here invites you all
to a private party at the Drive-In Club,

684
00:52:27,978 --> 00:52:32,209
which will be the most raging party
in the history of Western Summit.

685
00:52:32,683 --> 00:52:35,516
Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!

686
00:52:35,585 --> 00:52:37,281
Charlie! Charlie!

687
00:53:06,448 --> 00:53:08,439
Dustin Lauderbach wants a minute
with you, dude.

688
00:53:08,517 --> 00:53:12,214
Come on, is this really necessary?
I was hoping to get a chance to enjoy this.

689
00:53:12,287 --> 00:53:13,948
No, man, he's captain of the football team.

690
00:53:14,022 --> 00:53:15,249
All right.

691
00:53:32,039 --> 00:53:35,735
All right, first of all, I'm sick of football.

692
00:53:36,643 --> 00:53:40,204
I mean, zero desire to do this in college.

693
00:53:42,582 --> 00:53:43,708
What do you want to do?

694
00:53:43,783 --> 00:53:45,410
Try not to laugh,

695
00:53:47,053 --> 00:53:50,045
but I was thinking of
going to Paris to study painting.

696
00:53:50,123 --> 00:53:53,183
That's cool.
Have you mentioned this to your dad?

697
00:53:54,460 --> 00:53:58,556
No way. Quitting football isn't gonna
go over very well,

698
00:53:58,631 --> 00:54:02,624
let alone hitting him up two seconds later
for money to spend a year in France.

699
00:54:02,701 --> 00:54:04,999
Well, what about your mom?

700
00:54:05,070 --> 00:54:08,437
She only hears half the stuff I say.
What is that? There's a word for it.

701
00:54:08,507 --> 00:54:09,837
Menopause.

702
00:54:11,677 --> 00:54:13,076
So, what should I do?

703
00:54:13,145 --> 00:54:19,105
Well, I think one of our duties as teenagers
is to occasionally piss off our parents.

704
00:54:19,884 --> 00:54:21,977
- So, go for it, okay?
- Yeah.

705
00:54:22,587 --> 00:54:23,781
Thanks.

706
00:54:27,924 --> 00:54:30,586
I think Dustin Lauderbach may be a...

707
00:54:31,662 --> 00:54:35,223
I think you're just jealous 'cause
you don't have any artistic ambitions.

708
00:54:35,298 --> 00:54:37,859
Fuck you, dude. In fifth grade,

709
00:54:37,934 --> 00:54:41,199
I played Linus in
You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown.

710
00:54:41,271 --> 00:54:42,363
And I was good.

711
00:54:42,439 --> 00:54:43,427
- Really?
- Yeah.

712
00:54:43,507 --> 00:54:45,406
Wow, I didn't know that.

713
00:54:45,475 --> 00:54:47,340
If I'm jealous, if,

714
00:54:47,410 --> 00:54:49,276
it's because only guys
like Dustin Lauderbach

715
00:54:49,346 --> 00:54:51,211
can get girls like Whitney Drummond.

716
00:54:51,281 --> 00:54:52,975
You wanna hook up
with Whitney Drummond?

717
00:54:53,049 --> 00:54:55,916
No. I want to do it right.

718
00:54:56,552 --> 00:55:00,010
That's the kind of girl
you go dinner and a movie with.

719
00:55:00,823 --> 00:55:02,450
I don't know,
you'd have to clean up quite a bit.

720
00:55:03,826 --> 00:55:05,453
Not in this life.

721
00:55:07,463 --> 00:55:10,296
So, why did you stop
doing the school play?

722
00:55:10,999 --> 00:55:14,060
I kept getting my ass kicked
by people like me.

723
00:55:16,004 --> 00:55:18,768
Murph, we really have to have
conversations like this more often.

724
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:20,239
Oh, bite me.

725
00:55:21,608 --> 00:55:24,134
Here you are. You're coming with me.

726
00:55:24,746 --> 00:55:27,112
I am, am I? Where are we going?

727
00:55:27,981 --> 00:55:32,281
Well, Dr. Bartlett, I think it's high time
you stepped into my office.

728
00:55:45,465 --> 00:55:48,298
Wow. Beats the hell out of my office.

729
00:56:20,197 --> 00:56:21,664
So, what now?

730
00:56:22,534 --> 00:56:25,969
Now I'm going to ask you
a series of questions,

731
00:56:26,036 --> 00:56:29,233
and if you answer honestly,
you shall be rewarded.

732
00:56:30,508 --> 00:56:31,873
All right.

733
00:56:31,942 --> 00:56:34,877
All right. Question number one.

734
00:56:35,613 --> 00:56:38,581
And this one is a little selfish on my part.

735
00:56:38,916 --> 00:56:40,406
- Okay.
- Okay.

736
00:56:42,453 --> 00:56:45,650
Is your interest in me
any way related to the fact

737
00:56:45,723 --> 00:56:47,917
that my dad is the principal?

738
00:56:48,224 --> 00:56:50,089
What? Why would it be?

739
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:55,124
Because I know you get a kick out of
doing things that might get you in trouble.

740
00:56:55,198 --> 00:56:57,826
Well, I'm not gonna deny that, but no.

741
00:56:58,700 --> 00:57:02,694
I pretty much liked you
from the first moment that I saw you.

742
00:57:02,772 --> 00:57:05,831
And I had no idea who your father was.

743
00:57:17,820 --> 00:57:19,617
Was that my reward?

744
00:57:19,688 --> 00:57:20,950
Mmm-hmm.

745
00:57:23,058 --> 00:57:25,992
I think I'm ready
for the next question then.

746
00:57:28,964 --> 00:57:31,363
What's the deal with your father?

747
00:57:33,301 --> 00:57:35,360
Does that really have to be
the next question?

748
00:57:35,436 --> 00:57:38,836
Yes. The harder the question,
the greater the reward.

749
00:57:43,077 --> 00:57:44,600
He's in prison.

750
00:57:49,683 --> 00:57:53,619
My mom went into
a pretty bad depression

751
00:57:53,687 --> 00:57:55,483
when he got arrested.

752
00:57:57,289 --> 00:58:02,317
So, when he was out on bail,
he took me out for ice cream

753
00:58:03,730 --> 00:58:06,527
and he told me I had to take care of her.

754
00:58:07,900 --> 00:58:10,926
So, I promised him I would.

755
00:58:12,872 --> 00:58:17,604
And I've been taking care of her ever since.

756
00:58:20,979 --> 00:58:23,004
So, who takes care of you?

757
00:58:41,498 --> 00:58:42,726
Susan?

758
00:58:46,169 --> 00:58:48,296
I've never done this before.

759
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:52,270
I know that, Charlie Bartlett.

760
00:59:35,549 --> 00:59:38,074
That's really bad for you, you know?

761
00:59:45,059 --> 00:59:48,893
- Hey. What are you doing?
- I'll be right back.

762
00:59:52,266 --> 00:59:54,393
Oh, my God! Charlie, get in here!

763
00:59:54,834 --> 00:59:58,133
Ladies and gentlemen,
how are you all doing tonight?

764
01:00:00,406 --> 01:00:05,605
My name is Charlie Bartlett
and I am no longer a virgin!

765
01:00:08,748 --> 01:00:10,214
Thank you!

766
01:00:10,283 --> 01:00:12,774
For crying out loud.

767
01:00:16,456 --> 01:00:19,447
I can't think of any reason
to stay on this planet.

768
01:00:19,524 --> 01:00:21,857
No one at school even knows my name.

769
01:00:21,927 --> 01:00:25,226
The idea of even making contact
with another human being

770
01:00:25,297 --> 01:00:27,595
is like trying to defy gravity.

771
01:00:27,965 --> 01:00:30,594
There's just no point in being alive.

772
01:01:29,992 --> 01:01:33,154
Charlie, listen to
what Mr. Gardner has to say.

773
01:01:40,068 --> 01:01:43,868
Kip Crombwell overdosed
on a handful of sedatives last night.

774
01:01:50,577 --> 01:01:51,943
Is he okay?

775
01:01:52,879 --> 01:01:55,473
He's okay, yeah.
He's gonna be fine. He's home.

776
01:01:55,550 --> 01:01:56,709
And you might want to thank him later

777
01:01:56,783 --> 01:01:59,343
for not telling his parents
where he got the drugs.

778
01:01:59,419 --> 01:02:03,480
If anyone could prove it was you,
this would be a different story.

779
01:02:04,624 --> 01:02:07,615
Charlie, how could you do
something like this?

780
01:02:12,531 --> 01:02:14,158
What happens now?

781
01:02:14,500 --> 01:02:15,899
You tell me.

782
01:02:19,905 --> 01:02:23,773
If you can explain what you're doing,
or better yet, why you're doing it,

783
01:02:23,843 --> 01:02:25,936
that would be a good start.

784
01:02:26,679 --> 01:02:30,842
Look, I'm helping these kids, okay?
Nobody else is listening to them.

785
01:02:30,915 --> 01:02:32,907
I encourage you to listen all you like,
but let's face it,

786
01:02:32,984 --> 01:02:34,918
- you're not a professional.
- No.

787
01:02:34,986 --> 01:02:36,977
And these medications
have a legitimate use.

788
01:02:37,056 --> 01:02:39,615
They've helped a lot of people.
It's a generational thing.

789
01:02:39,691 --> 01:02:42,592
You know, teenagers always find a way
to abuse something.

790
01:02:42,660 --> 01:02:44,059
And why not, right?

791
01:02:44,129 --> 01:02:46,597
Being zonked out of your mind
is a lot more fun

792
01:02:46,664 --> 01:02:48,995
than dealing with your problems.

793
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:54,061
Excuse me for asking,
but are you speaking from experience or...

794
01:02:54,138 --> 01:02:56,698
You know,
that's not an appropriate question.

795
01:02:56,773 --> 01:02:59,297
- That's okay.
- Okay.

796
01:03:00,944 --> 01:03:03,741
Yeah, I sought treatment for some issues.

797
01:03:04,515 --> 01:03:06,744
You're not doing that anymore?

798
01:03:06,849 --> 01:03:10,649
Got to the point where I felt
I was ready to stop, so I did.

799
01:03:11,088 --> 01:03:15,080
- How's that going for you?
- Some days are better than others.

800
01:03:15,158 --> 01:03:16,819
Do you want to talk about it sometime?

801
01:03:16,893 --> 01:03:19,952
No, I would not
like to talk about it sometime.

802
01:03:20,897 --> 01:03:22,524
Charlie, come on.

803
01:03:24,534 --> 01:03:26,661
What are you doing this for?

804
01:03:32,841 --> 01:03:34,308
I don't know.

805
01:03:34,943 --> 01:03:36,274
I guess...

806
01:03:38,479 --> 01:03:40,345
I'm really happy here.

807
01:03:42,617 --> 01:03:45,313
For the first time, everybody likes me.

808
01:03:46,188 --> 01:03:47,814
There are more important things.

809
01:03:47,888 --> 01:03:51,757
Look, I know. Everybody keeps
saying that, but the thing is, is I'm 17,

810
01:03:51,825 --> 01:03:54,385
and popularity is pretty damn
important to me.

811
01:03:54,461 --> 01:03:57,156
Charlie, there are more important things.

812
01:03:57,230 --> 01:03:58,562
Like what?

813
01:03:59,833 --> 01:04:02,460
Like what you do with that popularity.

814
01:04:14,747 --> 01:04:18,910
Look, I've been around a while,
you know, long enough to say this.

815
01:04:20,553 --> 01:04:22,953
What you do in this life matters.

816
01:04:39,438 --> 01:04:40,700
Hey, Kip.

817
01:04:41,773 --> 01:04:43,205
Hey, Charlie.

818
01:04:43,274 --> 01:04:45,037
How are you feeling?

819
01:04:45,743 --> 01:04:49,406
Fine, I guess.
They had to pump my stomach.

820
01:04:50,716 --> 01:04:54,481
- How was that?
- Pretty disgusting.

821
01:04:55,486 --> 01:04:58,852
But now I get to just
play video games all day, so...

822
01:04:59,856 --> 01:05:00,983
Cool.

823
01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:06,595
So, are you still,
like, a suicidal maniac or...

824
01:05:08,665 --> 01:05:11,930
Well, it's not like all my problems
just went away.

825
01:05:12,769 --> 01:05:14,828
Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

826
01:05:14,904 --> 01:05:17,998
Look, Charlie, it's cool
that you came by and everything,

827
01:05:18,074 --> 01:05:20,041
but there's really nothing that you can say

828
01:05:20,110 --> 01:05:22,441
that's going to make me
feel any better, so...

829
01:05:22,511 --> 01:05:24,138
Nothing? Why not?

830
01:05:24,748 --> 01:05:26,579
No one knows I exist.

831
01:05:27,850 --> 01:05:30,876
The last time a girl spoke to me
was in the third grade.

832
01:05:30,953 --> 01:05:33,444
I have no friends and I'm an idiot.

833
01:05:34,923 --> 01:05:37,050
You at least have friends.

834
01:05:37,126 --> 01:05:39,958
How would you possibly know
what it's like?

835
01:05:41,229 --> 01:05:45,461
- I just think you're missing the big picture.
- What big picture?

836
01:05:45,533 --> 01:05:48,764
- The universe.
- What about the universe?

837
01:05:50,071 --> 01:05:53,199
Well, the universe is a pretty big place.

838
01:05:53,274 --> 01:05:55,504
Yeah. It's infinite, theoretically.

839
01:05:55,576 --> 01:05:59,239
Right. Which means there's probably
life on other planets.

840
01:06:00,315 --> 01:06:03,772
Not life like we think, but, yeah,
probably at least single-cell organisms.

841
01:06:03,850 --> 01:06:05,340
Well, see, that's my whole point.

842
01:06:05,420 --> 01:06:08,115
I mean, you could've been born
a single-cell organism

843
01:06:08,188 --> 01:06:09,780
on the planet Zortex.

844
01:06:09,856 --> 01:06:12,484
In fact, given the odds,
it's probably more likely.

845
01:06:12,559 --> 01:06:15,459
But you weren't.
You were born a human being.

846
01:06:15,528 --> 01:06:18,521
And not just any human being
in the history of human beings,

847
01:06:18,598 --> 01:06:20,758
but a human being
that gets to be alive today,

848
01:06:20,833 --> 01:06:25,168
that gets to listen to all kinds of music,
that gets to eat food from every culture,

849
01:06:25,237 --> 01:06:28,138
that gets to download porn
off the internet.

850
01:06:30,710 --> 01:06:33,611
So, really, you have everything to live for.

851
01:06:38,116 --> 01:06:39,708
You feel better?

852
01:06:42,355 --> 01:06:43,719
Not really.

853
01:06:46,558 --> 01:06:48,492
Well, at least I tried.

854
01:06:54,298 --> 01:06:58,929
- Hey, do you want to play some Killzone?
- Yeah.

855
01:07:01,939 --> 01:07:03,133
Dude!

856
01:07:03,340 --> 01:07:07,800
- So, you're not selling drugs anymore?
- No, no. I'm searching for new enterprises.

857
01:07:07,878 --> 01:07:10,711
- Like what?
- I don't know. You got any ideas?

858
01:07:10,781 --> 01:07:14,045
You're talking to someone
who can never get anything done.

859
01:07:14,118 --> 01:07:18,349
I've been trying to write a play, but,
you know, no one wants to read any of it.

860
01:07:18,421 --> 01:07:19,911
Well, is it any good?

861
01:07:19,989 --> 01:07:23,083
I don't know.
You can read it if you want to.

862
01:07:23,793 --> 01:07:24,885
Sure.

863
01:07:27,797 --> 01:07:28,888
Nope.

864
01:07:30,866 --> 01:07:33,495
Sorry, guys, there's just no way.

865
01:07:33,569 --> 01:07:37,335
- You didn't even read it.
- I read enough to know that it's a bad idea.

866
01:07:37,407 --> 01:07:38,431
Why?

867
01:07:38,507 --> 01:07:40,338
By virtue of the fact that it's inappropriate.

868
01:07:40,410 --> 01:07:42,435
I'm not jazzed about
taking the heat for you two

869
01:07:42,511 --> 01:07:44,445
having those kids doing
whatever they're doing in there.

870
01:07:44,513 --> 01:07:48,642
But it's true. It has truth.
It's about us and the way we see things.

871
01:07:48,717 --> 01:07:52,653
Mr. Crombwell's right.
We want to see something like this here.

872
01:07:53,254 --> 01:07:56,520
Look, it may not be perfect,
but Charlie's gonna help me with it.

873
01:07:56,591 --> 01:07:59,320
Great. That really puts my mind at ease.

874
01:08:00,394 --> 01:08:02,885
Look, I'm really trying
to do the right thing, okay?

875
01:08:02,963 --> 01:08:04,863
I thought that's what
you wanted me to do.

876
01:08:04,932 --> 01:08:07,900
Yeah, I do,
but does it have to be this play?

877
01:08:11,471 --> 01:08:13,837
If it helps your decision,

878
01:08:13,907 --> 01:08:17,810
I'd be considerably less likely
to end my life if you said yes.

879
01:08:26,552 --> 01:08:29,283
You've got to get it through Drama Club.

880
01:08:30,990 --> 01:08:33,219
- Thank you, Mr. Gardner.
- Yeah.

881
01:08:33,292 --> 01:08:35,317
You won't be disappointed.

882
01:08:35,895 --> 01:08:37,919
Don't make me regret this.

883
01:08:38,397 --> 01:08:40,558
So, what do we do now?

884
01:08:40,632 --> 01:08:44,432
Well, don't worry about the Drama Club.
I'll work it out.

885
01:08:44,870 --> 01:08:47,703
I kind of just don't know
what to say, Charlie.

886
01:08:47,772 --> 01:08:49,297
No worries.

887
01:08:50,508 --> 01:08:51,873
Don't fucking argue with me.

888
01:08:51,943 --> 01:08:53,433
Listen, I just wanna remind you
how much this is worth!

889
01:08:53,511 --> 01:08:54,910
- I know.
- Let me keep the Xanax.

890
01:08:54,979 --> 01:08:57,573
- No. No Xanax. Everything.
- Charlie...

891
01:09:04,321 --> 01:09:05,982
You're a dick.

892
01:09:10,828 --> 01:09:12,295
No! No! No!

893
01:09:12,362 --> 01:09:15,627
- Murph, give it to me.
- No! No! No, Charlie! No! No!

894
01:09:21,771 --> 01:09:23,067
Excuse me, everyone.

895
01:09:23,139 --> 01:09:25,800
May I have your attention?
I have an announcement to make.

896
01:09:28,344 --> 01:09:31,643
Due to complications
with the insurance companies,

897
01:09:33,616 --> 01:09:35,846
I will no longer be providing medication.

898
01:09:37,453 --> 01:09:42,447
I'm sure this will mean that a lot of you
are done speaking to me and that's fine.

899
01:09:42,524 --> 01:09:46,154
However, for those of you
that are still interested,

900
01:09:46,228 --> 01:09:50,255
I will be holding sessions in my office
free of charge.

901
01:09:51,399 --> 01:09:52,730
Thank you.

902
01:10:02,677 --> 01:10:05,668
I'm one of those people
not speaking to you.

903
01:10:14,088 --> 01:10:16,817
Well, let's get started, shall we?

904
01:10:24,965 --> 01:10:28,196
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, Whitney. What's going on?

905
01:10:29,936 --> 01:10:31,495
I don't know.

906
01:10:31,571 --> 01:10:34,665
Well, I think you have
something to tell me,

907
01:10:34,741 --> 01:10:37,368
but you're worried what I might think.

908
01:10:38,444 --> 01:10:39,672
I guess.

909
01:10:41,380 --> 01:10:44,474
I really think that
there's something wrong with me.

910
01:10:44,550 --> 01:10:45,948
Why is that?

911
01:10:46,518 --> 01:10:48,749
Well, I've been crying a lot.

912
01:10:49,288 --> 01:10:50,811
Like, at cheer.

913
01:10:53,658 --> 01:10:57,094
I've slept with almost every guy
on the football team.

914
01:10:59,330 --> 01:11:00,730
All of them?

915
01:11:02,333 --> 01:11:04,131
Well, maybe not all.

916
01:11:05,069 --> 01:11:07,299
But all the backfield, anyway.

917
01:11:08,272 --> 01:11:11,606
Well, do you like any of these guys?

918
01:11:12,876 --> 01:11:14,207
Not really.

919
01:11:14,845 --> 01:11:18,541
I mean, I know they don't want to be
my boyfriend or anything lame like that.

920
01:11:18,615 --> 01:11:22,313
But they try to sleep with me,
and I don't want to say no to them.

921
01:11:22,386 --> 01:11:27,323
Well, look, I don't know, maybe you should
take it slower, you know?

922
01:11:27,390 --> 01:11:29,154
Enjoy yourself.

923
01:11:29,225 --> 01:11:32,558
I mean, there are plenty of guys
at this school

924
01:11:32,629 --> 01:11:36,087
that would do anything to take you
to dinner and a movie.

925
01:11:36,164 --> 01:11:38,190
Give me a break. Like who?

926
01:11:42,170 --> 01:11:44,400
- Hey, Whitney.
- Hi, Murphy.

927
01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:47,308
Wow, you actually brought flowers.

928
01:11:47,376 --> 01:11:49,367
They're pretty lame, huh?

929
01:11:52,815 --> 01:11:56,250
- I've never been on a real date before.
- That's okay, Murphy.

930
01:11:56,318 --> 01:11:59,253
I've never been on a real date
before either.

931
01:12:09,664 --> 01:12:14,067
- By the way, I like your shirt.
- Oh, thanks.

932
01:12:14,902 --> 01:12:17,131
Okay. Thanks, Charlie.

933
01:12:18,339 --> 01:12:21,172
- Hey.
- Hey, Henry. How's it going, man?

934
01:12:21,241 --> 01:12:24,369
The board completely ignored the petition
to get the cameras out of the lounge,

935
01:12:24,444 --> 01:12:26,173
so they've basically blown us off.

936
01:12:26,246 --> 01:12:27,679
Next thing you know,
they'll put in metal detectors

937
01:12:27,748 --> 01:12:29,908
and start doing random locker searches.

938
01:12:29,983 --> 01:12:31,973
We have to do something.
We need you, man.

939
01:12:32,052 --> 01:12:35,612
I don't know, Henry.
I am already on thin ice with Gardner.

940
01:12:35,688 --> 01:12:39,090
If I lead a protest,
I think he'll have me assassinated.

941
01:12:39,158 --> 01:12:40,956
We need to do something.

942
01:12:41,027 --> 01:12:42,688
All right, look,
if you want to lead a protest,

943
01:12:42,762 --> 01:12:45,525
it's not like I'm gonna stop you, but...

944
01:12:45,597 --> 01:12:47,189
Thanks, Charlie.

945
01:12:56,240 --> 01:12:59,142
This is a school, not a prison.

946
01:13:00,278 --> 01:13:03,076
Thanks, because I couldn't read the sign.

947
01:13:03,148 --> 01:13:05,479
This is a school, not a prison.

948
01:13:06,551 --> 01:13:09,076
This is a school, it's not a prison.

949
01:13:09,954 --> 01:13:12,252
This is a school, not a prison.

950
01:13:12,622 --> 01:13:15,023
This is a school, it's not a prison.

951
01:13:29,973 --> 01:13:33,032
Cameras, protests,
insubordinate kids.

952
01:13:33,110 --> 01:13:36,102
Would any of this have happened
without Charlie Bartlett?

953
01:13:36,178 --> 01:13:38,374
He's all I hear about these days.

954
01:13:38,448 --> 01:13:40,381
"Charlie Bartlett told my son this.

955
01:13:40,450 --> 01:13:43,213
"Charlie Bartlett told my daughter
to do that."

956
01:13:43,285 --> 01:13:46,982
Our lives would be a whole lot easier
if we just expelled him.

957
01:13:48,057 --> 01:13:50,787
You really think that's what he deserves?

958
01:13:50,860 --> 01:13:54,124
Do yourself a favor.
Don't get fired over this kid.

959
01:13:59,468 --> 01:14:00,593
Look at this.

960
01:14:00,668 --> 01:14:03,398
Look, I don't think there should
be cameras in the lounge, but...

961
01:14:04,973 --> 01:14:06,634
I don't even know what to say.

962
01:14:06,708 --> 01:14:09,199
I kind of see where
your dad's coming from, too.

963
01:14:09,277 --> 01:14:11,541
Since when do you care what he thinks?

964
01:14:11,613 --> 01:14:15,276
I don't know.
He's given me a break a couple of times.

965
01:14:15,350 --> 01:14:16,441
Yeah.

966
01:14:19,787 --> 01:14:23,883
Attention, all dissenting students
of Western Summit High School.

967
01:14:23,957 --> 01:14:26,322
You have two minutes to disperse.

968
01:14:26,393 --> 01:14:28,384
If you have not at that time,
you will be suspended.

969
01:14:28,462 --> 01:14:31,898
No! See, we have a right to be here.
They can't kick us all out.

970
01:14:31,964 --> 01:14:34,797
There has to be a better way
to handle this.

971
01:14:34,867 --> 01:14:37,802
- Okay. Can you help me out?
- What are you gonna do?

972
01:14:37,870 --> 01:14:41,636
Could you go over there and tell them
to break it up and come back tonight?

973
01:14:41,707 --> 01:14:42,800
Okay.

974
01:14:44,343 --> 01:14:47,278
This is a school, not a prison!
This is a school, not a prison!

975
01:14:47,346 --> 01:14:50,837
Hey, guys, Charlie wanted me to ask...

976
01:14:56,154 --> 01:14:59,920
Charlie wants us to go home
and come back tonight, all right?

977
01:15:54,576 --> 01:15:55,736
Susan!

978
01:15:59,348 --> 01:16:00,781
- What did he just give you?
- What?

979
01:16:00,849 --> 01:16:03,784
- That's just...
- Shut it! I'm talking to my daughter.

980
01:16:03,851 --> 01:16:06,548
- What is in that pharmacy bag?
- None of your business.

981
01:16:06,622 --> 01:16:09,216
- Susan...
- I don't need any assistance from you

982
01:16:09,291 --> 01:16:11,281
handling my daughter.
Do you understand?

983
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:14,591
Try saying one more word
and see what happens.

984
01:16:14,663 --> 01:16:16,687
Come on, you really think
I don't know what's in the bag?

985
01:16:16,765 --> 01:16:19,665
Yeah. I really don't think
you know what's in the bag.

986
01:16:19,734 --> 01:16:21,668
Where are you going?
You're not going anywhere.

987
01:16:21,736 --> 01:16:22,794
Whatever.

988
01:16:22,869 --> 01:16:26,499
Susan Gardner, get your ass
back in the house on the count of three,

989
01:16:26,574 --> 01:16:28,303
or you're grounded.

990
01:16:28,843 --> 01:16:31,334
What makes you think
you're still in control of what I do?

991
01:16:31,412 --> 01:16:36,110
I don't think. I know. It's a fact.
What are you looking at? One!

992
01:16:36,182 --> 01:16:39,208
I would not make me choose
between you and Charlie if I were you.

993
01:16:39,286 --> 01:16:42,312
You don't have to choose.
Drug dealer! Dad!

994
01:16:42,389 --> 01:16:46,256
I'm your father.
This is a boy who goes to my school. Two!

995
01:16:46,326 --> 01:16:49,523
Charlie Bartlett has done more
for your school than you ever will.

996
01:16:49,596 --> 01:16:50,653
Three!

997
01:16:50,729 --> 01:16:52,527
Hey! Don't touch her!

998
01:16:54,900 --> 01:16:57,164
Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.

999
01:16:57,236 --> 01:17:00,933
Well, you did it. It's done.

1000
01:17:02,574 --> 01:17:04,701
Whatever. Let's go. Come on.

1001
01:17:32,270 --> 01:17:34,397
I'm really sorry I did that.

1002
01:17:36,606 --> 01:17:38,369
It's not your fault.

1003
01:17:39,842 --> 01:17:42,368
So, Charlie Bartlett assaulted you.

1004
01:17:42,945 --> 01:17:46,814
Well, now it's up to you.
Do you want to press charges or not?

1005
01:17:51,354 --> 01:17:53,414
Now, we're
gonna get these cameras out of the lounge.

1006
01:17:53,489 --> 01:17:55,821
We're gonna figure it out tonight.

1007
01:17:55,891 --> 01:17:58,451
Hey, look who it is, everybody.

1008
01:17:58,527 --> 01:18:02,622
Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
- Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!

1009
01:18:12,273 --> 01:18:14,264
How you all doing tonight?

1010
01:18:16,244 --> 01:18:18,644
My name is Charlie Bartlett.

1011
01:18:23,051 --> 01:18:27,043
If there's one thing I want you guys
to walk away with tonight,

1012
01:18:36,063 --> 01:18:38,554
it's that you guys don't need me.

1013
01:18:39,899 --> 01:18:41,527
I really mean it.

1014
01:18:41,869 --> 01:18:44,997
You think I'm any less screwed up
than you are?

1015
01:18:45,072 --> 01:18:49,030
I get up every morning
and I look in the mirror

1016
01:18:50,209 --> 01:18:52,177
and I try and figure out

1017
01:18:54,147 --> 01:18:55,910
just where I fit in.

1018
01:18:57,717 --> 01:19:02,210
And I draw a complete blank.

1019
01:19:04,556 --> 01:19:07,993
And you guys are looking to me
to tell you what to do?

1020
01:19:08,728 --> 01:19:11,958
You need to stop listening to me.

1021
01:19:14,832 --> 01:19:19,132
And stop listening to people telling you
who you should be.

1022
01:19:19,203 --> 01:19:21,297
And stop listening to the people
that are telling you

1023
01:19:21,373 --> 01:19:23,533
you're not good enough
to do the things that you want to do!

1024
01:19:24,708 --> 01:19:26,039
You guys have all the answers.

1025
01:19:26,111 --> 01:19:27,476
You're under arrest for assault.

1026
01:19:34,752 --> 01:19:36,218
Charlie!

1027
01:19:54,603 --> 01:19:57,505
Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!

1028
01:19:57,574 --> 01:20:00,475
- Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
- Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!

1029
01:20:00,542 --> 01:20:03,807
Okay, party's over.
I want you all out of here now!

1030
01:20:05,147 --> 01:20:07,206
Have I made myself abundantly clear?

1031
01:20:07,282 --> 01:20:08,874
We want to know
what the hell's gonna happen to Charlie.

1032
01:20:08,951 --> 01:20:09,940
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

1033
01:20:10,018 --> 01:20:11,610
I'd be more worried about yourselves.

1034
01:20:11,687 --> 01:20:14,884
Thanks to him,
the Class of '83 Student Lounge

1035
01:20:14,957 --> 01:20:17,550
is now The Charlie Bartlett
Detention Center.

1036
01:20:17,625 --> 01:20:19,890
Bullshit! Come on!

1037
01:20:20,394 --> 01:20:22,021
Get the cameras!

1038
01:20:34,675 --> 01:20:35,972
Emergency, Western Summit High School.

1039
01:20:49,856 --> 01:20:52,825
Well, I guess now is as good a time
as any to tell you.

1040
01:20:52,893 --> 01:20:54,416
You're fired.

1041
01:20:57,563 --> 01:20:59,030
Come on.

1042
01:21:18,850 --> 01:21:22,047
Come on, Charlie.
Your mom's here to bail you out.

1043
01:21:23,121 --> 01:21:24,679
What's gonna happen to the other kids?

1044
01:21:24,757 --> 01:21:26,951
Well, there's gonna be an investigation.

1045
01:21:27,025 --> 01:21:28,491
But since all the cameras were destroyed,

1046
01:21:28,560 --> 01:21:32,291
they're gonna have a hard time
figuring out who did what.

1047
01:21:32,363 --> 01:21:35,423
Well, I'm prepared
to take full responsibility.

1048
01:21:36,166 --> 01:21:37,758
Charlie, go home.

1049
01:21:42,139 --> 01:21:45,700
- Are you mad?
- I don't know how to feel, Charlie.

1050
01:21:45,776 --> 01:21:48,973
Well, Mom, I think you should be mad
because I just got arrested

1051
01:21:49,046 --> 01:21:51,207
and a bunch of my friends
just trashed a building.

1052
01:21:51,281 --> 01:21:53,215
I am aware of that.

1053
01:21:53,283 --> 01:21:57,844
And I'm having a hard time being mad
at you when it just might be my fault.

1054
01:21:58,589 --> 01:22:01,182
No, Mom, it's not your fault.
Don't say that.

1055
01:22:01,257 --> 01:22:02,918
No, some of it is.

1056
01:22:03,960 --> 01:22:08,191
I treated you like an adult for so long,
you missed out on being a little boy.

1057
01:22:08,263 --> 01:22:10,561
And now we're paying for it.

1058
01:22:10,632 --> 01:22:12,657
With a vengeance, I'd say.

1059
01:22:13,101 --> 01:22:15,434
But you are just a kid, Charlie.

1060
01:22:16,271 --> 01:22:18,365
You understand that, right?

1061
01:22:20,475 --> 01:22:24,740
And that doesn't change just
because I don't know what to do with you.

1062
01:22:25,446 --> 01:22:26,607
Mom.

1063
01:22:27,349 --> 01:22:30,182
I wouldn't know
what to do with me, either.

1064
01:22:33,255 --> 01:22:36,018
Well, I think it's safe to say
that you're grounded.

1065
01:22:36,091 --> 01:22:37,955
Really? How long?

1066
01:22:38,559 --> 01:22:41,925
That's a good question.
What is the standard?

1067
01:22:41,996 --> 01:22:44,089
Usually, like, 24 hours.

1068
01:22:45,099 --> 01:22:49,365
Well, seeing as you've acquired
a misdemeanor, we'd better make it 30.

1069
01:22:50,170 --> 01:22:51,261
Okay.

1070
01:22:59,779 --> 01:23:01,679
- Get in the car.
- Okay.

1071
01:24:09,578 --> 01:24:11,274
- Hi.
- Hey!

1072
01:24:13,749 --> 01:24:15,239
How are you feeling?

1073
01:24:15,317 --> 01:24:18,309
A little nervous, I guess. But that's normal.

1074
01:24:18,921 --> 01:24:21,253
Yeah. How's your dad?

1075
01:24:22,491 --> 01:24:24,981
He's holed himself up in his study.

1076
01:24:25,694 --> 01:24:27,718
That's usually a bad sign.

1077
01:24:28,229 --> 01:24:29,925
You could've asked him to come,
you know.

1078
01:24:29,998 --> 01:24:31,794
Really? What am I going to say?

1079
01:24:31,866 --> 01:24:34,199
"Hey, Dad, you want to come
sit with a bunch of people

1080
01:24:34,268 --> 01:24:37,362
"that are really glad you were fired
and watch me on stage?"

1081
01:24:54,756 --> 01:24:55,915
Hello?

1082
01:25:00,193 --> 01:25:01,490
Hello?

1083
01:25:02,729 --> 01:25:04,390
Principal Gardner?

1084
01:25:05,298 --> 01:25:08,232
Hello? Principal Gardner?

1085
01:25:10,069 --> 01:25:12,367
It's me, sir. Charlie Bartlett.

1086
01:25:14,240 --> 01:25:15,298
Hello?

1087
01:25:17,142 --> 01:25:18,371
Hello?

1088
01:25:19,445 --> 01:25:21,913
Oh, this better be good, Charles.

1089
01:25:23,782 --> 01:25:26,343
I came to invite you to the play.

1090
01:25:26,419 --> 01:25:30,582
Well, thank you for that,
but I am just a little tied up right now.

1091
01:25:31,122 --> 01:25:34,649
- What are you doing?
- Venting. Just venting a little bit.

1092
01:25:34,726 --> 01:25:37,092
Is that your new word of the day?

1093
01:25:37,161 --> 01:25:38,151
Sure as shit is.

1094
01:25:39,397 --> 01:25:41,797
Word of the day, "venting."

1095
01:25:42,266 --> 01:25:47,261
Explanation. That's kind of how I deal
with my little life's frustrations. I vent.

1096
01:25:47,338 --> 01:25:51,501
As in "to vent, " original derivation
from the Latin exventare.

1097
01:25:51,575 --> 01:25:53,042
Jesus!

1098
01:25:53,544 --> 01:25:56,809
Everybody needs to vent a little
now and again, don't you figure?

1099
01:25:56,880 --> 01:25:59,848
Some of us are privileged enough
to vent to you in the boys' room stall,

1100
01:25:59,916 --> 01:26:02,578
and the rest of us just have to settle
for less conventional methods.

1101
01:26:02,652 --> 01:26:04,552
Like, I don't know,
a bottle of booze and a handgun.

1102
01:26:06,656 --> 01:26:10,524
I'm sorry. I'm not putting you on edge
with my behavior, am I?

1103
01:26:11,027 --> 01:26:12,756
That's all right.

1104
01:26:13,362 --> 01:26:14,953
Maybe you could put the gun down.

1105
01:26:15,031 --> 01:26:18,522
Park it, Chuck!
In case you're not aware of this,

1106
01:26:18,601 --> 01:26:21,228
I'm entirely displeased with you right now.

1107
01:26:21,303 --> 01:26:23,237
I was racking my brain to figure out why,

1108
01:26:23,305 --> 01:26:25,967
and I think it's because
you've taken everything from me.

1109
01:26:26,041 --> 01:26:27,804
Why did you do that?

1110
01:26:29,344 --> 01:26:32,108
Do you have anything enlightening
to say to me right now? 'Cause if you do,

1111
01:26:32,180 --> 01:26:34,944
I'd appreciate it if you'd spit it out.

1112
01:26:35,016 --> 01:26:36,210
I don't know.

1113
01:26:36,284 --> 01:26:39,514
Maybe some of
that post-pubescent psychobabble?

1114
01:26:40,488 --> 01:26:42,582
Maybe a pearl of wisdom?

1115
01:26:42,657 --> 01:26:44,920
I don't know what to say to you.

1116
01:26:44,992 --> 01:26:48,257
I mean, I don't know how to help you.
I really want to.

1117
01:26:48,329 --> 01:26:50,695
Come on, Doctor!
What have you got for me?

1118
01:26:50,764 --> 01:26:52,925
I don't know what you want from me.

1119
01:26:53,000 --> 01:26:57,333
I don't need you to say anything to me
and I don't need you to save me!

1120
01:26:58,372 --> 01:27:00,635
All right, then, what am I supposed to do
in this situation?

1121
01:27:00,707 --> 01:27:04,268
You know, I'm just a kid!
I'm just a stupid kid!

1122
01:27:05,478 --> 01:27:09,380
Stop the fucking presses.
Run that by me again. You're a what?

1123
01:27:09,449 --> 01:27:10,973
I'm just a kid.

1124
01:27:12,785 --> 01:27:14,047
I get it.

1125
01:27:14,887 --> 01:27:17,322
It's tough. I was a kid once, too.

1126
01:27:19,925 --> 01:27:21,187
Oh, fuck!

1127
01:27:35,172 --> 01:27:36,230
- No!
- What are you...

1128
01:27:59,129 --> 01:28:01,689
What the hell did you do that for?

1129
01:28:02,666 --> 01:28:04,691
You were going to kill yourself.

1130
01:28:04,768 --> 01:28:08,295
I can't kill myself.
I've got too many responsibilities.

1131
01:28:10,907 --> 01:28:12,169
You okay?

1132
01:28:13,676 --> 01:28:14,769
Yeah.

1133
01:28:16,946 --> 01:28:21,110
Never, never attack a drunk guy
with a gun. Do you understand?

1134
01:28:21,183 --> 01:28:22,650
- Yes, sir.
- Good.

1135
01:28:24,453 --> 01:28:27,445
Come on. Let's get cleaned up.

1136
01:28:29,191 --> 01:28:30,350
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

1137
01:28:32,127 --> 01:28:34,617
Hey, Charlie. See if that fits.

1138
01:28:36,331 --> 01:28:38,094
- Thank you.
- Sure.

1139
01:28:40,268 --> 01:28:42,634
How's your head? You all right?

1140
01:28:43,438 --> 01:28:44,769
It's okay.

1141
01:28:45,872 --> 01:28:49,104
Well, we should go
'cause we're going to miss the play.

1142
01:28:49,177 --> 01:28:52,145
I doubt she's going to be happy to see me.

1143
01:28:52,213 --> 01:28:55,876
No, you're her father,

1144
01:28:55,950 --> 01:28:59,942
and she loves you very much,
and you're totally missing it.

1145
01:29:06,426 --> 01:29:07,825
Fair enough.

1146
01:29:10,197 --> 01:29:13,097
- What about you?
- What about me, what?

1147
01:29:13,833 --> 01:29:15,733
What about your father?

1148
01:29:16,503 --> 01:29:19,232
You know, when I checked up on you,
I was half-hoping to find something

1149
01:29:19,305 --> 01:29:22,502
to make me feel justified
in kicking your ass out.

1150
01:29:24,343 --> 01:29:26,640
Then I found out about him.

1151
01:29:30,716 --> 01:29:33,344
There are worse crimes than tax evasion.

1152
01:29:33,419 --> 01:29:36,581
Yeah, but it's not worth
losing your father over.

1153
01:29:37,623 --> 01:29:40,455
Okay, so, stay mad at him forever.

1154
01:29:41,426 --> 01:29:43,519
How's that working for you?

1155
01:29:44,996 --> 01:29:47,395
Some days are better than others.

1156
01:29:52,270 --> 01:29:56,603
Come on, Monica. Just try it.
It'll give you such a high.

1157
01:29:56,674 --> 01:29:59,303
My God, you are, like,
totally peer-pressuring me.

1158
01:29:59,377 --> 01:30:01,207
I've never done it before.

1159
01:30:01,278 --> 01:30:04,111
Just do it. Trust me.
You know you want to.

1160
01:30:05,883 --> 01:30:09,216
I just don't know anymore.
She used to be my little girl.

1161
01:30:09,286 --> 01:30:12,083
I mean, what do you think
they're doing behind that door?

1162
01:30:12,155 --> 01:30:13,851
There's no way to know that.

1163
01:30:13,924 --> 01:30:18,587
And, besides, isn't it more interesting
to just trust them and see what happens?

1164
01:30:20,630 --> 01:30:23,997
I just don't understand why it's
so important to you that I do this.

1165
01:30:24,067 --> 01:30:26,661
'Cause it's fun and it'll feel good.

1166
01:30:28,503 --> 01:30:30,495
Okay, I'll give it a try.

1167
01:32:51,105 --> 01:32:53,903
I must say, of all the kids
applying for a summer internship,

1168
01:32:53,975 --> 01:32:56,637
you have quite a checkered history.

1169
01:32:56,711 --> 01:32:59,441
I understand. And I'm sure
you have a whole stack of people

1170
01:32:59,514 --> 01:33:03,847
with perfect backgrounds
and no disciplinary record.

1171
01:33:06,988 --> 01:33:10,081
Really, I'd do anything to work here.

1172
01:33:10,157 --> 01:33:14,787
Well, let's get on with the interview.
I've got a hell of a day ahead of me.

1173
01:33:15,429 --> 01:33:17,760
Would you like to talk about it?