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ASTERIX & OBELIX
IN BRITAIN
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We've been through hard times.
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We've often believed,
and then had to unbelieve.
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Can you say that?
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But today,
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we're on an even keel.
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Believe me,
we're going to recover our losses!
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Ship to starboard!
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Ship to starboard!
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Up and at 'em!
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What did I tell you?
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Over here, my dears.
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What the...
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At your stations!
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Raise the sails!
Get your oars out!
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Hurry!
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Too late.
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Up and at 'em!
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Can anyone tell me what that was?
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This my friends, this majestic sight,
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is the most powerful army
that's ever existed.
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It carries Rome's name
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to the frontiers of the known world.
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At its head
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is one man.
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A supreme leader.
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A warrior who conquered Helvetia,
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drove back the Germans,
crushed the Gauls,
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and who will now conquer an island
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called Britannia.
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Britain!
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This conquest, my friends,
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is not merely one more laurel
in Caesar's crown.
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This conquest
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is the gift of the Roman people
to Britain's natives.
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A barbarian people
who dwell in ignorance,
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to whom we will bring
the benefits of Western civilisation.
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By golly, this is a jolly rum thing,
eh what?
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I say, rather, old fruit.
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Britain is inhabited
by a mysterious people
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who have one very curious custom:
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at five in the afternoon,
everything comes to a halt.
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Push! Push!
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Hold on.
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Why do they do this, O Caesar?
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To drink hot Water.
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Hot water?
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Their favourite beverage.
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A cup of hot water?
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Gladly. With a cloud of milk, please.
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We shall attack the Britons
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every day at five o'clock on the dot.
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I promise you,
this will be our quickest victory ever!
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I say, we should sound the alarm.
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Wouldn't it be preferable to run?
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Of course.
But a gentleman never runs.
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No, not there.
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Not there either.
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Perfect.
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Clear this away, please.
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And send for Sir Jolitorax.
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Yes, Your Majesty.
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With his underhanded methods,
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Mr. Caesar has almost annihilated
our army.
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Behave, children.
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But every remaining free man is here now
and we shall battle to the end.
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All the same, Jolitorax,
I wonder
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if we can hold out
against the Roman legions forever.
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One village has managed this feat.
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Really?
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Yes. They say its inhabitants
have held out
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thanks to a magic potion
that makes them invincible.
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If Her Majesty allows,
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I shall go and ask them
for help in person.
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That's a jolly good idea, Jolitorax.
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Where is this remarkable village?
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Well?
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In Gaul, Your Majesty.
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You want to seek help from the Gauls?
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Mightn't it be preferable
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to be invaded?
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Ok for the Gauls.
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Jolly good luck, Jolitorax.
And all that sort of thing.
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Goudurix...
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It's time to wake up.
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- Should we start?
- Start what?
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- Bashing him around.
- Obelix...
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Our leader Abraracourcix entrusted us
with his nephew Goudurix.
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To make a man out of him!
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It won't happen if we don't bash him.
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Obelix, those old-fashioned methods
aren't for us.
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Patience, psychology,
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and a gentle guiding hand.
That's our method.
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The lad will blossom into
a responsible man we can be proud of.
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- So do we bash him or not?
- No.
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Goudurix,
we wake up early in the country.
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In Lutetia this is when I go to bed.
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So get lost, bumpkins,
I won't move from this bed.
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Obelix...
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What? I used psychology.
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I didn't bash him around.
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He didn't want to move?
The bed moved.
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- You guys are crazy!
- It isn't fun for us.
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It's for your own good. Let's go.
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I've got to get dressed
and do my hair first.
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Goudurix, you've been in there
for two hours!
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Should I use some more psychology?
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Come on.
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Your hair's just the same.
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No way. Before it wasn't done.
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This is the "undone done" look.
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It takes a lot of work.
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Ok, let's go to the forest.
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Exercise No. 1:
"How to whip Romans."
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What?
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Violence is for the weak.
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What did you say?
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Sorry, Asterix, I lost control.
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It's only human.
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And at least
it didn't mess up your hair!
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- You guys are crazy!
- No.
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Come on, follow us.
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With a little luck, We'll find a patrol.
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There aren't many Romans left,
they're all in Britain...
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Where'd he go?
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I'm lucky to live in Lutetia.
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But I needed a change of scenery
so I came to the country.
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I think it'll help my songwriting.
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I'm a bard.
Hey, you just gave me an idea!
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Really?
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I'll build ye a dolmen
Where love will reign
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Where love is everything
And you'll be my queen...
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How pretty!
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That's because you inspired it.
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Excuse me,
you're not here to court pretty girls
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but to become a man.
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Hey, morons,
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a man isn't necessarily
a thick-headed brute.
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A man can be someone sensitive
who can say "I love you",
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who's not afraid to cry.
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Oh, how true!
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So if you'd kindly blow off, peasants.
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No, let me.
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I say. I believe I've found
the right place.
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You've travelled far, British friend.
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What can I offer you?
Wild boar? A beer?
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A cup of hot water, please.
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Is that all?
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With a cloud of milk. Thank you.
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Asterix, Obelix,
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meet Jolitorax.
He's just arrived from Britain
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to seek our help
against the Roman invader.
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Hullo.
Please, shake me by the hand.
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- Obelix!
- Obelix, behave!
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- He said to shake him.
- He's a Brit. They talk different.
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Are you ok?
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Jolly good show.
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What strength!
I suppose it's the magic potion?
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Obelix fell in it as a baby.
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Not again...
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I
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with that strength,
we'd easily beat the Romans, eh what!
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- Why do you keep saying "what"?
- Say what's what?
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I asked Panoramix
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to prepare some magic potion.
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That's a lot of potion.
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That is why you and Obelix
will escort him.
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It mustn't fall into enemy hands.
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We're going to Britain!
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There'll be brand new Romans.
And to be honest,
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I won't miss your nephew.
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Goudurix is coming with us.
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With Idefix, there won't be room!
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It's the opportunity
to perfect his education.
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No...
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Chief?
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He said no.
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He says you're too little.
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It's too far and there's no room.
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He'd rather we take that imbecile...
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We'll be back soon.
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We give them the barrel: hello, goodbye.
And that's it.
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You won't miss much.
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Yes, there'll be lots of Romans.
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But you know,
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Romans are like oysters,
too many make you sick.
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Be good.
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Watch over the house.
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I'm counting on you.
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I didn't join the legion for this.
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I joined to serve Rome,
not arrest illegal alienus all clay long.
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Caesar said: for the empire's stability,
migratory flows must be controlled.
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And what does that mean?
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It means, uh...
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Look, orders are orders. Don't argue.
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Caught red-handed!
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00:15:10,129 --> 00:15:12,840
What?
Gauls can go to the beach.
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I smell illegal alienus.
Let's check their ID.
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- Count me out.
- What?
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00:15:17,845 --> 00:15:18,721
It's a bum rap.
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00:15:19,221 --> 00:15:22,558
To each his own sense of duty.
It's your conscience.
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Roman legion, border control!
Show me your papyrus.
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Here.
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00:15:38,074 --> 00:15:39,951
- That's the old model.
- Oh yeah?
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The new ones are stone.
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00:15:42,078 --> 00:15:44,413
Impossible to forge.
There're too many fakes.
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What's in the barrel?
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00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,960
The problem with Romans
is that they're overeager.
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Talking about me?
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Jolitorax,
it's time you tested the potion.
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00:15:53,798 --> 00:15:54,757
What's that?
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00:15:54,882 --> 00:15:56,592
One second, please.
213
00:16:10,856 --> 00:16:14,443
I may lack a sense of duty,
but when it comes to survival...
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00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:40,886
- Well?
- They're holding out.
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00:16:41,053 --> 00:16:42,722
BY Jupiter!
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00:16:43,055 --> 00:16:45,641
My sapiens has its limits!
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00:16:46,225 --> 00:16:48,394
You mean your patience?
218
00:16:48,644 --> 00:16:51,814
No, my sapiens. Wisdom.
Don't you speak Latin?
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00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:56,193
I'm asking the Senate
for reinforcements.
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00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:56,861
Ave, Caesar!
221
00:16:57,111 --> 00:16:59,488
A delegation of senators
is requesting an audience.
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00:16:59,906 --> 00:17:04,118
Extraordinary! I think of the Senate
and the Senate comes to me.
223
00:17:04,952 --> 00:17:07,496
I'm popular with the gods!
Show them in
224
00:17:07,663 --> 00:17:10,249
and prepare a little orgy.
They'll like that.
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00:17:12,877 --> 00:17:13,502
Ave,
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honourable members of the Senate.
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It is a privilege...
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00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,382
Ave, Caesar.
229
00:17:19,216 --> 00:17:20,843
Senator Lucius Fouinus.
230
00:17:21,510 --> 00:17:25,848
The Senate commissioned us
to audit your accounts.
231
00:17:26,223 --> 00:17:27,183
To do what?
232
00:17:27,391 --> 00:17:29,936
Audit your accounts. It's Latin.
It means...
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00:17:30,102 --> 00:17:32,146
I know what it means!
234
00:17:32,271 --> 00:17:35,650
I've looked at your books.
They're not very clear.
235
00:17:36,484 --> 00:17:37,568
Oh really?
236
00:17:37,735 --> 00:17:39,278
For example...
237
00:17:40,488 --> 00:17:42,698
This expense of 20,000 sesterces
238
00:17:42,865 --> 00:17:44,158
for a round-trip journey
239
00:17:44,325 --> 00:17:47,536
- Alexandria-Londinium -
by private galley.
240
00:17:48,162 --> 00:17:50,248
Cleopatra came for the weekend.
241
00:17:50,414 --> 00:17:52,875
Can't Cleopatra take a regular boat?
242
00:17:53,709 --> 00:17:55,503
She is the Queen of Egypt.
243
00:17:55,586 --> 00:17:58,297
Then why doesn't Egypt pay?
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00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,177
My men and I will examine this.
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I hope no one will try to influence us.
246
00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:07,473
I wouldn't dream of it.
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00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,308
The Senators' orgy is ready.
248
00:18:09,558 --> 00:18:10,768
Should I call the girls?
249
00:18:21,654 --> 00:18:23,322
What about our reinforcements?
250
00:18:26,075 --> 00:18:29,579
Forgive me, O Great Caesar,
but I might have an idea.
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I'm listening.
252
00:18:33,249 --> 00:18:36,335
Why not use our secret funds
to hire mercenaries
253
00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:37,920
to do our dirty work?
254
00:18:39,797 --> 00:18:42,758
Supposing such "secret funds" existed...
255
00:18:44,176 --> 00:18:45,428
Who do you have in mind?
256
00:18:46,012 --> 00:18:48,222
The worst barbarians of all, Caesar.
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00:18:48,931 --> 00:18:50,391
The Normans.
258
00:18:50,683 --> 00:18:52,977
A fearsome people from the North
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where the snow never melts
and it's dark for six months.
260
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These merciless warriors
who drink from their enemies' skulls
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00:19:00,693 --> 00:19:01,903
have one particularity...
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00:19:02,945 --> 00:19:04,614
they do not know fear!
263
00:19:27,303 --> 00:19:28,346
What's your name?
264
00:19:28,512 --> 00:19:32,808
Megacursus, O Noble Caesar,
to honour and serve you.
265
00:19:33,142 --> 00:19:37,980
Well, Megacursus,
go find the Normans and hire them.
266
00:19:38,606 --> 00:19:40,733
If you succeed in this mission,
267
00:19:41,609 --> 00:19:43,027
you'll be a rich man.
268
00:19:43,236 --> 00:19:45,363
And now let's enjoy that orgy.
269
00:19:45,529 --> 00:19:47,114
- I despise waste.
- Me too?
270
00:19:47,281 --> 00:19:50,117
No. You'll get an orgy-basket
for your trip.
271
00:20:01,879 --> 00:20:03,839
Why did you
272
00:20:03,923 --> 00:20:05,174
desert me
273
00:20:06,092 --> 00:20:10,012
Why did you abandon me
274
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,431
Why did you ditch me...
275
00:20:12,848 --> 00:20:14,392
I understand why.
276
00:20:16,602 --> 00:20:19,730
Why is it all over
277
00:20:19,981 --> 00:20:22,608
Why did you leave me...
278
00:20:22,775 --> 00:20:24,860
You're giving me a headache.
279
00:20:24,986 --> 00:20:27,780
- I'm expressing myself.
- I'll express a bashing!
280
00:20:27,863 --> 00:20:30,032
Obelix, patience and psychology.
281
00:20:30,157 --> 00:20:32,201
Goudurix, what do you want to be?
282
00:20:32,368 --> 00:20:33,536
I want to be a bard.
283
00:20:33,703 --> 00:20:36,038
But the old man wants me
to be a druid.
284
00:20:36,205 --> 00:20:38,374
Druid is a fascinating profession.
285
00:20:38,499 --> 00:20:41,002
Yeah right, 60 years of schooling.
No thanks.
286
00:20:44,005 --> 00:20:45,590
What's a British hunk?
287
00:20:46,966 --> 00:20:48,050
A tourist!
288
00:20:52,221 --> 00:20:53,848
Don't take it personally.
289
00:20:54,015 --> 00:20:57,768
It's because in Gaul
we say that the Brits are kind of...
290
00:20:59,645 --> 00:21:01,147
I mean, you're not very...
291
00:21:03,816 --> 00:21:07,862
What about you?
How do the Britons see us?
292
00:21:09,113 --> 00:21:11,824
I say. We find you arrogant,
293
00:21:12,617 --> 00:21:15,661
loudmouthed, lecherous,
294
00:21:16,162 --> 00:21:19,081
cowardly, uncultivated...
295
00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:21,000
and dirty.
296
00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:28,341
Why did you forsake me...
297
00:21:28,466 --> 00:21:31,969
Stop bleating like a lamb,
you'll never become a man.
298
00:21:32,136 --> 00:21:33,888
What's a man in your book?
299
00:21:34,096 --> 00:21:37,600
Two guys like you
who live together with a little dog?
300
00:21:38,935 --> 00:21:39,936
I'll kill him.
301
00:21:40,102 --> 00:21:43,773
We promised the chief
we'd bring him back safe and sound.
302
00:21:44,523 --> 00:21:45,566
Calm down.
303
00:21:46,901 --> 00:21:50,112
In Britain, two men living together
is quite common.
304
00:21:51,530 --> 00:21:53,366
That's not the same thing.
305
00:21:53,449 --> 00:21:56,410
I think there's
a little misunderstanding.
306
00:21:56,535 --> 00:21:59,163
We don't live together,
we share lodgings.
307
00:21:59,330 --> 00:22:02,166
It's more like we're roommates.
308
00:22:02,291 --> 00:22:05,586
It's like co-workers
who have the same hours.
309
00:22:05,753 --> 00:22:08,005
It's a question of practicality.
310
00:22:12,510 --> 00:22:15,221
I never Would've left you
311
00:22:15,346 --> 00:22:17,556
I never would've gone...
312
00:22:26,148 --> 00:22:27,942
Bless you, Obelix.
313
00:22:28,693 --> 00:22:30,069
It wasn't me.
314
00:22:35,533 --> 00:22:36,617
Sorry.
315
00:22:36,742 --> 00:22:41,455
I'm sorry to impose my presence on you
in your jolly-boat, noble travellers.
316
00:22:41,622 --> 00:22:43,040
But I must reach Britain
317
00:22:43,207 --> 00:22:46,669
and regular boat lines
don't like illegal alienus like me.
318
00:22:47,044 --> 00:22:49,672
I say, he is original, eh what?
319
00:22:49,964 --> 00:22:51,048
Don't worry,
320
00:22:51,215 --> 00:22:54,468
when we land,
I'll depart and bother you no more.
321
00:22:54,677 --> 00:22:55,970
You're no bother.
322
00:22:56,095 --> 00:22:58,180
But why Britain, mister...?
323
00:22:58,306 --> 00:23:00,600
Pindepis. My name is Pindepis.
324
00:23:00,766 --> 00:23:04,186
I come from a poor,
distant land in the Ganges Valley.
325
00:23:04,395 --> 00:23:08,232
They say you can get rich in Britain,
so I decided to try my luck.
326
00:23:08,399 --> 00:23:09,483
What's that?
327
00:23:11,193 --> 00:23:13,905
A plant from back home.
It grows all over.
328
00:23:14,071 --> 00:23:16,365
I feel less lonely with it.
329
00:23:17,241 --> 00:23:19,535
So please don't throw me overboard.
330
00:23:19,660 --> 00:23:20,494
I can't swim!
331
00:23:31,380 --> 00:23:32,673
I'm hungry.
332
00:23:35,051 --> 00:23:36,719
Me too.
333
00:23:39,430 --> 00:23:41,849
I say, I believe we have a message.
334
00:23:43,726 --> 00:23:45,937
Your Majesty, a message from Jolitorax.
335
00:23:46,729 --> 00:23:47,647
What does he say?
336
00:23:48,856 --> 00:23:51,692
"Your Majesty, I have the pleasure
of informing you
337
00:23:51,901 --> 00:23:54,278
"that the barrel
has reached British soil.
338
00:23:54,487 --> 00:23:55,988
"Faithfully yours, Jolitorax."
339
00:23:56,322 --> 00:23:59,033
Excellent news. Isn't it, dears?
340
00:24:38,614 --> 00:24:40,491
Hey dudes, hiking isn't my thing.
341
00:24:40,950 --> 00:24:43,619
- If you want to become a man...
- Drop it.
342
00:24:44,954 --> 00:24:49,083
I say. A calm and peaceful spot
to have a bite to eat.
343
00:24:50,376 --> 00:24:52,461
I hope they have wild boar.
344
00:24:54,046 --> 00:24:55,715
JOLLY BOAR INN
345
00:25:01,971 --> 00:25:03,097
Hullo.
346
00:25:03,723 --> 00:25:04,473
Hullo.
347
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,142
Would you like supper?
348
00:25:06,392 --> 00:25:10,062
Yes, rather.
We'd like four orders of boar.
349
00:25:10,146 --> 00:25:12,815
Of course. Go sit over there.
350
00:25:17,820 --> 00:25:18,905
Hullo.
351
00:25:47,350 --> 00:25:48,935
Is that their boar?
352
00:25:49,101 --> 00:25:50,436
Doesn't look jolly to me.
353
00:25:50,686 --> 00:25:52,021
It's a British delicacy:
354
00:25:52,188 --> 00:25:54,899
boiled boar with mint sauce.
355
00:25:55,024 --> 00:25:56,567
Delicious.
356
00:25:56,734 --> 00:25:58,527
Why does it smell like fish?
357
00:25:58,861 --> 00:26:01,239
Because we always boil it
with cod liver.
358
00:26:01,447 --> 00:26:03,491
Otherwise it would have no taste.
359
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,409
Poor beast.
360
00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:13,751
Ave.
361
00:26:14,252 --> 00:26:16,128
We're looking for Gauls
362
00:26:16,337 --> 00:26:18,256
who disembarked illegally.
363
00:26:29,433 --> 00:26:33,062
Ave. Last name, first name,
profession and place of residence.
364
00:26:33,396 --> 00:26:34,981
But of course.
365
00:26:35,147 --> 00:26:38,067
We're British merchants
on a business trip.
366
00:26:38,234 --> 00:26:41,445
My name is Jolitorax,
and this is Asterax.
367
00:26:41,612 --> 00:26:42,154
Hullo.
368
00:26:43,030 --> 00:26:44,365
Obelax...
369
00:26:44,574 --> 00:26:46,701
- Hello.
- No. "Hullo".
370
00:26:46,784 --> 00:26:48,911
- Hello.
- One second. "Hullo".
371
00:26:51,122 --> 00:26:52,415
No, "hullo".
372
00:26:52,582 --> 00:26:54,208
It's a short "u".
373
00:26:54,375 --> 00:26:55,668
Hullo.
374
00:26:56,335 --> 00:26:57,420
That's it.
375
00:26:58,421 --> 00:27:00,464
And my nephew... Pain-in-the-ax.
376
00:27:00,590 --> 00:27:02,466
The poor boy is mute.
377
00:27:06,512 --> 00:27:09,181
Soldiers! Search the inn!
378
00:27:09,932 --> 00:27:11,434
Enjoy your meal, Britons.
379
00:27:27,783 --> 00:27:31,329
I don't know
how you can eat that stuff...
380
00:27:31,495 --> 00:27:32,580
You Britons.
381
00:27:35,958 --> 00:27:37,460
Nothing to report, sir.
382
00:27:38,961 --> 00:27:40,671
Good evening, gentlemen.
383
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,298
Have a good journey.
384
00:27:50,514 --> 00:27:51,807
By Toutatis!
385
00:27:52,308 --> 00:27:53,309
In the name of Rome,
386
00:27:53,434 --> 00:27:55,811
surrender, Gauls!
387
00:28:21,545 --> 00:28:23,714
Bravo! Good job blending in.
388
00:28:23,881 --> 00:28:25,383
It's not my fault.
389
00:28:25,549 --> 00:28:28,427
Wild boar with cod liver is inhuman.
390
00:28:28,552 --> 00:28:30,805
You're right, it's not your fault.
391
00:28:31,013 --> 00:28:33,307
It never has been
and probably never will.
392
00:28:33,599 --> 00:28:35,434
Are you trying to be nice?
393
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:36,644
You know what?
394
00:28:36,852 --> 00:28:39,355
Even when you're around, I feel lonely.
395
00:28:39,522 --> 00:28:42,108
I'm intellectually undernourished.
396
00:28:42,275 --> 00:28:43,609
Come on, we get on.
397
00:28:43,693 --> 00:28:45,027
No. I put up with you.
398
00:28:45,236 --> 00:28:48,990
I knock myself out
for a walking calamity, a curse,
399
00:28:49,198 --> 00:28:50,866
a natural disaster named Obelix.
400
00:28:51,033 --> 00:28:52,577
And what do I get?
401
00:28:53,411 --> 00:28:54,120
Nothing.
402
00:28:54,287 --> 00:28:57,957
I sacrifice myself for nothing.
So you see, I'm fed up.
403
00:28:58,541 --> 00:28:59,333
Frankly,
404
00:28:59,500 --> 00:29:02,837
"two guys who live together
with a little dog" isn't for me.
405
00:29:03,045 --> 00:29:05,214
What've you got against Idefix?
406
00:29:06,048 --> 00:29:07,925
I need to meet someone.
407
00:29:08,217 --> 00:29:08,843
Who?
408
00:29:09,010 --> 00:29:12,471
Who knows! But it'll never happen
with you clinging to me.
409
00:29:13,973 --> 00:29:15,349
What's his problem?
410
00:29:15,725 --> 00:29:18,227
He has to meet someone
but he doesn't know who.
411
00:29:18,394 --> 00:29:20,229
So of course he's irritable.
412
00:29:28,905 --> 00:29:31,032
Caesar was very clear,
413
00:29:31,157 --> 00:29:33,743
if you wipe out
the village of British rebels,
414
00:29:33,910 --> 00:29:35,620
he'll shower you with gold.
415
00:29:36,203 --> 00:29:38,122
Gold only brings luxury
416
00:29:38,372 --> 00:29:40,666
and luxury weakens men's spirits.
417
00:29:41,918 --> 00:29:44,420
Is that what you want, Roman?
To weaken us?
418
00:29:45,087 --> 00:29:47,423
Not on my life, Grossebaf.
419
00:29:50,384 --> 00:29:54,305
Only fear could tempt us
to travel to this country.
420
00:29:54,472 --> 00:29:55,723
Fear?
421
00:29:55,890 --> 00:29:58,559
Even the weakest nations know fear.
But not us!
422
00:29:58,684 --> 00:29:59,977
Not us!
423
00:30:02,104 --> 00:30:03,856
Yet we've tried everything.
424
00:30:05,107 --> 00:30:07,026
We've carried out experiments...
425
00:30:07,777 --> 00:30:08,361
Well?
426
00:30:09,278 --> 00:30:11,155
Still more pain than fear.
427
00:30:13,658 --> 00:30:17,286
We've tried to instil it
in our infants...
428
00:30:21,749 --> 00:30:23,167
Without' success.
429
00:30:23,376 --> 00:30:24,752
Fear escapes us.
430
00:30:24,877 --> 00:30:26,128
By Odin, we want to know it!
431
00:30:26,379 --> 00:30:27,755
We want to know it!
432
00:30:28,965 --> 00:30:29,966
But why?
433
00:30:30,633 --> 00:30:32,301
He asks why...
434
00:30:35,221 --> 00:30:38,266
Everyone knows
that fear gives you wings, Roman!
435
00:30:38,432 --> 00:30:41,978
And my warriors and I dream of flying.
Like birds.
436
00:30:44,981 --> 00:30:46,357
Then you're in luck.
437
00:30:46,524 --> 00:30:49,151
Britons are the most fearful people
in the world.
438
00:30:49,777 --> 00:30:50,403
They are?
439
00:30:50,820 --> 00:30:52,154
Yes, of course.
440
00:30:52,321 --> 00:30:55,241
Every time you ask them a question,
they answer:
441
00:30:55,408 --> 00:30:58,119
"I'm afraid that..." or "I fear that..."
442
00:30:59,662 --> 00:31:00,705
Then it's decided!
443
00:31:00,871 --> 00:31:03,165
By Odin, We're sailing for Britain!
444
00:31:11,966 --> 00:31:13,092
Gentlemen...
445
00:31:13,676 --> 00:31:16,012
Welcome to Londinium.
446
00:32:39,637 --> 00:32:42,306
The Romans are looking for us.
Let's hide the barrel.
447
00:32:42,431 --> 00:32:43,558
Good idea. But where?
448
00:32:43,933 --> 00:32:47,937
Use your heads. Where is the best place
to hide a tree? A forest.
449
00:32:48,062 --> 00:32:50,147
So the best place to hide a barrel?
450
00:32:50,273 --> 00:32:51,649
A forest?
451
00:32:53,109 --> 00:32:54,151
A...?
452
00:32:54,277 --> 00:32:55,444
A forest...
453
00:32:55,903 --> 00:32:58,364
An inn!
With other barrels.
454
00:32:58,573 --> 00:32:59,156
Excellent
455
00:32:59,323 --> 00:33:01,284
I know just the place.
456
00:33:06,789 --> 00:33:09,292
Cousin Jolitorax,
fearfully pleased to see you.
457
00:33:09,458 --> 00:33:11,168
I say, me too, Relax.
458
00:33:11,335 --> 00:33:14,714
But let's not get emotional.
I'm on a mission for the Queen.
459
00:33:15,089 --> 00:33:17,800
I'll bid farewell to my wife
and I'm yours.
460
00:33:17,967 --> 00:33:21,429
Not necessary. We only want
to hide this barrel with yours.
461
00:33:21,679 --> 00:33:24,849
I see. Easy as pie.
We'll put it in the cellar.
462
00:33:25,016 --> 00:33:25,975
Follow me.
463
00:33:36,611 --> 00:33:38,112
One stout, please.
464
00:33:39,822 --> 00:33:41,949
The energy in this town is amazing.
465
00:33:42,491 --> 00:33:43,117
Excuse me?
466
00:33:43,284 --> 00:33:47,455
The energy here is amazing.
You feel like anything's possible.
467
00:33:47,622 --> 00:33:48,247
Yeah, maybe.
468
00:33:48,456 --> 00:33:51,334
No, it's true. I'm from Lutetia.
It's dead in comparison.
469
00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:53,461
It's stuck in a time warp.
470
00:33:53,544 --> 00:33:55,421
- You're from Lutetia?
- Yeah.
471
00:33:55,922 --> 00:33:58,591
Well, not far.
Barely a two-week walk.
472
00:34:02,470 --> 00:34:04,305
People sure do like stout here.
473
00:34:04,472 --> 00:34:06,224
- Next one's on me.
- No, thank you...
474
00:34:06,390 --> 00:34:09,185
I insist.
I know what you're thinking.
475
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,480
"He's a Gaul, watch out,
they're all Womanizers."
476
00:34:12,647 --> 00:34:14,732
Well not me. I'm no womanizer.
477
00:34:15,858 --> 00:34:17,777
I'm just a guy who loves life.
478
00:34:17,944 --> 00:34:20,655
Life's magical,
timeless moments, you see?
479
00:34:20,780 --> 00:34:22,573
Here, getting to know each other.
480
00:34:22,698 --> 00:34:27,328
I'm full of energy like this town.
I want to live, to laugh, to cry.
481
00:34:27,411 --> 00:34:30,164
Yes, I'm a man who knows how to cry.
482
00:34:30,373 --> 00:34:32,041
I'm not ashamed to say I cry.
483
00:34:32,458 --> 00:34:33,918
I cry very often. Over nothing.
484
00:34:35,336 --> 00:34:36,504
Do you like men who cry?
485
00:34:37,922 --> 00:34:39,590
Not really.
486
00:34:49,058 --> 00:34:52,019
How's everything?
Is the barrel safe?
487
00:34:52,353 --> 00:34:54,272
- What?
- You've got some froth...
488
00:34:56,065 --> 00:34:57,775
So, what do we do now?
489
00:34:58,568 --> 00:34:59,860
Well,
490
00:35:00,444 --> 00:35:04,657
I suppose we could pay
a surprise visit to Ophelia.
491
00:35:04,949 --> 00:35:05,741
Who's Ophelia?
492
00:35:06,367 --> 00:35:06,993
My fiancée.
493
00:35:11,789 --> 00:35:13,207
There's still some...
494
00:35:23,467 --> 00:35:26,512
I'd heard British chicks were dogs,
but she's hot.
495
00:35:31,309 --> 00:35:34,604
Yes, she is pretty.
That black dress really suits her.
496
00:35:41,777 --> 00:35:42,653
Jolitorax...
497
00:35:43,404 --> 00:35:44,947
What a jolly surprise.
498
00:35:45,114 --> 00:35:46,198
I'm frightfully happy too.
499
00:35:46,407 --> 00:35:49,160
But no effusiveness.
I'm on a mission for the Queen.
500
00:35:49,368 --> 00:35:52,413
Since I was in Londinium
I wanted you to meet...
501
00:35:52,496 --> 00:35:53,456
Goudurix. Cool.
502
00:35:55,291 --> 00:35:57,209
Okay you, calm down!
503
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,338
She's his fiancée. Show some respect.
504
00:36:00,546 --> 00:36:03,132
- Forgive him, he's young.
- It's of no importance.
505
00:36:03,257 --> 00:36:04,759
Asterix. At your service.
506
00:36:05,968 --> 00:36:07,553
Pleased to meet you.
507
00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:08,971
Very pleased.
508
00:36:10,389 --> 00:36:12,058
- My friends are...
- Gauls.
509
00:36:12,225 --> 00:36:13,976
We guessed as much.
510
00:36:14,310 --> 00:36:15,102
By the accent?
511
00:36:15,645 --> 00:36:16,979
No, by the smell.
512
00:36:18,439 --> 00:36:21,484
Mother and Father are away,
but I insist you stay.
513
00:36:22,151 --> 00:36:25,613
Miss Macintosh and I
shall prepare a meal for you.
514
00:36:33,996 --> 00:36:36,499
The energy in this town is amazing.
515
00:36:36,749 --> 00:36:37,375
Oh, really?
516
00:36:37,458 --> 00:36:40,336
You really feel like
anything's possible here...
517
00:36:40,503 --> 00:36:42,755
You could meet fabulous people,
518
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,173
exchange ideas,
519
00:36:44,340 --> 00:36:47,677
fall in love,
have intense but brief adventures...
520
00:36:48,678 --> 00:36:50,179
You know, all that.
521
00:36:51,556 --> 00:36:54,016
I hear you and your friend
have a little dog.
522
00:36:55,685 --> 00:36:56,852
You didn't bring it?
523
00:36:57,645 --> 00:36:58,688
No.
524
00:37:02,900 --> 00:37:04,527
What's this?
525
00:37:04,944 --> 00:37:08,322
Illegal Gauls
with a secret weapon in a barrel?
526
00:37:08,447 --> 00:37:11,284
Yes. We're arresting all Gaul residents.
527
00:37:11,409 --> 00:37:12,618
Women and children too.
528
00:37:12,702 --> 00:37:13,911
We'll burn their houses down.
529
00:37:14,036 --> 00:37:16,372
- No. We need to find the barrel.
- But how?
530
00:37:16,539 --> 00:37:17,873
Use your heads...
531
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,043
Where is the best place to hide a tree?
532
00:37:22,378 --> 00:37:23,170
A forest!
533
00:37:23,379 --> 00:37:27,675
So the best place
to hide a barrel would be...
534
00:37:29,385 --> 00:37:31,220
An inn!
535
00:37:31,679 --> 00:37:34,432
Search every cellar
of every inn in Londinium
536
00:37:34,599 --> 00:37:36,517
and confiscate every barrel!
537
00:37:39,770 --> 00:37:41,188
What about the tree?
538
00:37:41,564 --> 00:37:43,065
Find that barrel!
539
00:37:43,900 --> 00:37:47,904
I'll have you boiled
and served to the lions with mint sauce!
540
00:37:59,957 --> 00:38:01,500
I don't think she likes me.
541
00:38:01,751 --> 00:38:02,710
Who's that?
542
00:38:03,252 --> 00:38:05,588
Miss Makichtok. She doesn't like me.
543
00:38:05,755 --> 00:38:08,090
With her looks she shouldn't be picky.
544
00:38:13,346 --> 00:38:17,099
It doesn't show much
that you and Ophelia are engaged.
545
00:38:17,183 --> 00:38:19,060
I'd say it doesn't show at all.
546
00:38:19,602 --> 00:38:23,022
That's because we Britons
are sticklers for proprieties.
547
00:38:24,148 --> 00:38:25,441
A gentleman
548
00:38:25,608 --> 00:38:28,694
must never, under any circumstance,
compromise his fiancée
549
00:38:28,819 --> 00:38:31,656
by being too... how should I put it?
550
00:38:31,822 --> 00:38:33,199
Overbearing.
551
00:38:34,450 --> 00:38:39,538
Unescorted visits must be rare
and last only a fleeting moment.
552
00:38:41,707 --> 00:38:43,918
And when was your last one?
553
00:38:44,043 --> 00:38:44,877
Last year.
554
00:38:46,087 --> 00:38:47,380
I see.
555
00:38:47,755 --> 00:38:51,592
I say, when Ophelia
invited us to stay, I hesitated.
556
00:38:51,968 --> 00:38:54,887
But I'm glad
I had the audacity to accept.
557
00:38:55,805 --> 00:38:58,266
Would you have the audacity
to pass the salt?
558
00:39:00,476 --> 00:39:01,561
Sorry.
559
00:39:07,525 --> 00:39:09,610
You really like
Miss What's-Her-Face?
560
00:39:10,278 --> 00:39:12,697
Then give her a present.
It always works.
561
00:39:13,447 --> 00:39:14,824
That's a good idea.
562
00:39:16,158 --> 00:39:17,118
I know...
563
00:39:47,982 --> 00:39:49,942
In the name of Rome, open up!
564
00:39:53,696 --> 00:39:54,947
Search the inn!
565
00:40:21,766 --> 00:40:23,059
Legionaries!
566
00:40:23,392 --> 00:40:26,229
There's a secret weapon
in one of these barrels.
567
00:40:26,729 --> 00:40:30,066
To find it, we will apply
methodology and rigour.
568
00:40:30,399 --> 00:40:31,984
You make a hole, you taste.
569
00:40:32,443 --> 00:40:34,820
If anything tastes suspicious,
let us know.
570
00:40:34,987 --> 00:40:36,572
Otherwise, mark the barrel
571
00:40:36,739 --> 00:40:39,784
and move on to the next.
Is that clear?
572
00:40:40,076 --> 00:40:40,993
On my command!
573
00:40:53,673 --> 00:40:54,757
Action!
574
00:41:08,604 --> 00:41:11,482
The rhododendrons
have come on nicely this year.
575
00:41:11,899 --> 00:41:12,775
Oh, really?
576
00:41:19,198 --> 00:41:20,825
The begonias too.
577
00:41:23,035 --> 00:41:24,954
But not the sunflowers.
578
00:41:26,581 --> 00:41:28,624
I'm terribly sorry to hear it.
579
00:41:57,820 --> 00:41:59,989
That must've taken ages to make.
580
00:42:00,156 --> 00:42:02,199
The Macintoshes have been working
581
00:42:02,742 --> 00:42:05,286
on this tapestry for five generations.
582
00:42:05,870 --> 00:42:07,163
I see.
583
00:42:07,288 --> 00:42:09,248
When it's finished,
584
00:42:09,498 --> 00:42:12,084
it will be my family's pride and joy.
585
00:42:20,843 --> 00:42:24,263
The energy in this town
really is amazing...
586
00:42:27,350 --> 00:42:28,184
Sorry.
587
00:42:31,187 --> 00:42:32,688
Sorry to burst in on you.
588
00:42:32,855 --> 00:42:35,858
The Romans seized
the barrel of magic potion!
589
00:42:36,317 --> 00:42:37,610
If you want to find it,
590
00:42:37,735 --> 00:42:39,946
it has "Relax" written on it.
591
00:43:16,148 --> 00:43:18,067
Ave, Claudius Lapsus, let me taste.
592
00:43:18,234 --> 00:43:19,402
No, it's my barrel.
593
00:43:19,569 --> 00:43:21,779
It's not yours, it's everybody's.
594
00:43:30,371 --> 00:43:31,581
Hey, you!
595
00:43:32,373 --> 00:43:33,624
Come here.
596
00:43:52,351 --> 00:43:54,520
- Do I knock him out?
- Yes, quietly.
597
00:43:56,022 --> 00:43:57,189
Obelix, quietly!
598
00:43:57,732 --> 00:43:59,108
I understood.
599
00:44:05,907 --> 00:44:07,450
Very good.
600
00:44:28,012 --> 00:44:30,640
You're a swell pal.
601
00:44:31,724 --> 00:44:33,726
Come on, we've no time to lose.
602
00:44:41,859 --> 00:44:44,487
I can drink this,
I didn't fall into it.
603
00:44:55,164 --> 00:44:56,499
Over here.
604
00:45:00,378 --> 00:45:02,463
Take them all. We'll sort them later.
605
00:45:02,672 --> 00:45:04,215
Obelix, help us.
606
00:45:11,013 --> 00:45:12,181
I don't believe it.
607
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:16,060
I just tasted a tiny bit.
Hardly at all.
608
00:45:19,981 --> 00:45:21,440
Like the great Caesar said,
609
00:45:21,649 --> 00:45:25,528
we are here to promote
the values of our grand civilisation.
610
00:45:26,028 --> 00:45:27,530
But we will not succeed
611
00:45:27,697 --> 00:45:29,865
if the natives perceive us as enemies.
612
00:45:30,032 --> 00:45:31,534
The Britons are proud.
613
00:45:31,701 --> 00:45:35,538
Treat them with courtesy.
Show them we are a great nation.
614
00:45:36,539 --> 00:45:38,958
Here's an opportunity to demonstrate.
615
00:45:39,625 --> 00:45:41,544
A jolly good day
616
00:45:41,877 --> 00:45:44,463
and all that sort of thing,
British friends.
617
00:45:46,048 --> 00:45:49,135
You see? If we don't,
we have a fat chance.
618
00:45:49,552 --> 00:45:51,012
Who called me fat?
619
00:45:52,722 --> 00:45:53,639
Who called me fat?
620
00:45:55,558 --> 00:45:56,809
Who called me fat?
621
00:45:57,435 --> 00:45:58,227
Obelix!
622
00:45:58,394 --> 00:46:00,062
Goodness gracious.
623
00:46:04,775 --> 00:46:08,654
An abandoned cart...
A pure stroke of luck for a cart thief!
624
00:46:09,739 --> 00:46:12,283
Bravo, Obelix! Good job blending in.
625
00:46:16,621 --> 00:46:17,580
Run, Jolitorax!
626
00:46:18,748 --> 00:46:21,918
Sorry, Asterix, a gentleman never runs.
627
00:46:37,642 --> 00:46:39,644
Excuse me, you didn't see a...
628
00:46:39,810 --> 00:46:42,605
- You're a Gaul!
- Yes, but not from Lutetia.
629
00:46:42,897 --> 00:46:44,273
What're you doing here?
630
00:46:44,398 --> 00:46:46,234
Looking for a barrel.
Did you see...
631
00:46:46,359 --> 00:46:47,443
I love Gauls!
632
00:46:47,944 --> 00:46:50,363
You're so much more fun than Britons.
633
00:46:50,571 --> 00:46:51,656
Thanks... Oh really?
634
00:46:54,283 --> 00:46:57,578
You don't have a pigeonhole
where I could reach you?
635
00:47:10,132 --> 00:47:12,301
It's one of the Gauls.
636
00:47:12,677 --> 00:47:13,928
Pick him up!
637
00:47:23,145 --> 00:47:26,983
Sir Jolitorax!
Something unspeakable has happened.
638
00:47:27,149 --> 00:47:29,151
I say, calm down, Miss Macintosh.
639
00:47:29,318 --> 00:47:32,780
It's frightful!
Miss Ophelia has disappeared.
640
00:47:32,905 --> 00:47:34,240
Calm down, dear lady.
641
00:47:34,407 --> 00:47:36,576
And worse yet, with Goudurix!
642
00:47:38,077 --> 00:47:40,663
They wanted to take a stroll
on the beach.
643
00:47:40,871 --> 00:47:43,332
Naturally, I flatly refused.
644
00:47:43,499 --> 00:47:45,167
But that devil Goudurix
645
00:47:45,334 --> 00:47:47,587
stole a cart and...
646
00:47:49,171 --> 00:47:50,882
and the two of them ran off!
647
00:47:51,841 --> 00:47:54,552
Very well. I shall handle this.
648
00:47:58,723 --> 00:48:00,016
Which way did they go?
649
00:48:00,182 --> 00:48:01,559
That way.
650
00:48:23,706 --> 00:48:24,790
Oh, I'm awful.
651
00:48:24,957 --> 00:48:26,959
No, no. You're doing great.
652
00:48:28,878 --> 00:48:32,965
Why didn't you help them
search for the barrel of magic potion?
653
00:48:33,090 --> 00:48:34,884
You're my magic potion.
654
00:48:35,051 --> 00:48:36,344
How sweet of you.
655
00:48:36,510 --> 00:48:38,221
It's not sweet, it's true.
656
00:48:38,346 --> 00:48:41,057
Their potion has nothing to do
with strength.
657
00:48:41,224 --> 00:48:41,766
Really?
658
00:48:42,391 --> 00:48:44,101
Then what is strength about?
659
00:48:45,228 --> 00:48:45,895
This...
660
00:48:47,521 --> 00:48:48,940
That's not appropriate.
661
00:48:49,065 --> 00:48:52,818
You Brits are so uptight.
Chicks are easier in Lutetia.
662
00:48:52,944 --> 00:48:53,736
Really?
663
00:48:53,819 --> 00:48:56,948
You bet! They know kissing
isn't about being appropriate.
664
00:48:57,114 --> 00:48:59,742
It's about timing...
and this was the right time.
665
00:48:59,909 --> 00:49:01,410
But if you don't want to...
666
00:49:03,037 --> 00:49:04,121
Wait...
667
00:49:14,298 --> 00:49:15,591
It's a Gaul kiss.
668
00:49:18,427 --> 00:49:19,720
Come on, it's no big...
669
00:49:21,639 --> 00:49:24,100
- Are those Britons?
- They're not very big.
670
00:49:24,308 --> 00:49:26,477
Hiding behind me?
That's very cowardly.
671
00:49:26,602 --> 00:49:27,270
I don't care.
672
00:49:27,395 --> 00:49:31,107
We're looking for Caesar and his army.
Do you know where they are?
673
00:49:31,274 --> 00:49:32,191
I don't want to die!
674
00:49:32,358 --> 00:49:34,443
- Pull yourself together.
- I'm too afraid!
675
00:49:34,610 --> 00:49:36,946
I say, you're the champion of fear!
676
00:49:37,113 --> 00:49:38,864
Did you hear that, Yadutaf?
677
00:49:39,073 --> 00:49:41,576
Catch him, Tetedepiaf,
before he flies away.
678
00:49:46,998 --> 00:49:49,959
I'll bring him to camp.
Go to the nearest village,
679
00:49:50,167 --> 00:49:52,503
ask for Caesar
and then kill everyone.
680
00:49:52,628 --> 00:49:53,796
How do I find the village?
681
00:49:55,131 --> 00:49:56,173
She'll take you.
682
00:49:56,340 --> 00:49:59,510
- Then what do I do with her?
- You kill her too, stupid.
683
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:01,470
Oh yeah, right.
684
00:50:37,256 --> 00:50:39,884
A jolly good day to you, foreign friend.
685
00:50:42,553 --> 00:50:45,056
Wait. First, we must agree on the rules.
686
00:50:45,514 --> 00:50:47,016
What rules?
687
00:50:47,266 --> 00:50:48,351
Okay, no rules.
688
00:50:58,152 --> 00:50:58,694
Thank you.
689
00:50:58,861 --> 00:51:02,156
It was nothing.
I needed some exercise anyhow.
690
00:51:02,949 --> 00:51:04,867
I hear you didn't go out alone.
691
00:51:05,034 --> 00:51:08,454
The Normans kidnapped Goudurix!
I'm very worried.
692
00:51:08,537 --> 00:51:09,914
Rightly so, my dear.
693
00:51:10,081 --> 00:51:12,625
The odds are
he's been turned into melba toast.
694
00:51:12,959 --> 00:51:13,668
How awful!
695
00:51:13,876 --> 00:51:15,378
Yes, it is, eh what!
696
00:51:16,295 --> 00:51:19,006
Well then, I suggest we go home.
697
00:51:19,882 --> 00:51:21,592
Your insensibility
698
00:51:21,717 --> 00:51:23,511
saddens me deeply.
699
00:51:24,011 --> 00:51:26,222
I too have reason to feel sad.
700
00:51:26,347 --> 00:51:29,141
But I do not offend you by blaming you.
701
00:51:32,019 --> 00:51:34,855
So be it!
I strayed from the righteous path.
702
00:51:35,815 --> 00:51:37,900
But how could I not?
703
00:51:38,317 --> 00:51:40,319
You're as tedious
as a winter's day
704
00:51:40,444 --> 00:51:42,238
and stiffer than Miss Macintosh.
705
00:51:42,405 --> 00:51:44,615
It took you six months to address me,
706
00:51:44,824 --> 00:51:46,409
one year to ask for my hand,
707
00:51:46,576 --> 00:51:49,412
and we've barely exchanged
ten words since.
708
00:51:50,246 --> 00:51:51,872
When might I hope for
709
00:51:52,039 --> 00:51:53,749
a bit of company,
710
00:51:53,916 --> 00:51:56,335
perhaps even some human warmth?
711
00:51:56,460 --> 00:51:58,170
On my death bed?
712
00:52:00,464 --> 00:52:03,384
My conduct has been
that of a British gentleman.
713
00:52:03,551 --> 00:52:07,930
If this does not suit you,
then we were not meant for each other.
714
00:52:29,952 --> 00:52:30,995
What're you doing here?
715
00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:33,581
I was arrested during an ID check.
716
00:52:33,956 --> 00:52:36,083
I'll be deported on the next caravan.
717
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:38,836
YOU!
718
00:52:39,712 --> 00:52:40,880
Come with me.
719
00:52:44,300 --> 00:52:45,218
Move it.
720
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:46,385
Excuse me,
721
00:52:46,552 --> 00:52:49,931
may I have some water for my plant?
It needs it badly.
722
00:52:55,937 --> 00:52:57,313
Doesn't need it anymore.
723
00:53:17,625 --> 00:53:18,417
Why?
724
00:53:18,834 --> 00:53:19,502
Why what?
725
00:53:19,710 --> 00:53:21,546
Why are you always under my feet?
726
00:53:21,963 --> 00:53:25,341
Hey, Jules, every tale
has a good guy and a bad guy.
727
00:53:26,676 --> 00:53:28,010
And you're the bad guy?
728
00:53:28,177 --> 00:53:29,428
No, you're the bad guy.
729
00:53:29,595 --> 00:53:31,597
These are the adventures of Asterix,
not Caesar.
730
00:53:32,139 --> 00:53:34,809
The adventures of Asterix!
731
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:37,895
See this? "The Gallic Wars."
732
00:53:38,312 --> 00:53:41,649
The adventures of Julius Caesar,
by Julius Caesar, in six volumes.
733
00:53:41,816 --> 00:53:44,485
That my friend, is History.
734
00:53:45,152 --> 00:53:47,405
Sounds megalomaniac to me.
735
00:53:48,114 --> 00:53:50,241
I don't think you fully realise
who I am.
736
00:53:50,700 --> 00:53:53,661
My reign will have such impact
that in 2,000 years
737
00:53:53,869 --> 00:53:57,331
people will say,
"We're in the year 2000 J.C."
738
00:53:59,959 --> 00:54:01,544
- But what have you done?
- Me?
739
00:54:01,752 --> 00:54:04,755
Yes, you with your smirk.
What's your claim to fame?
740
00:54:04,881 --> 00:54:06,716
I don't claim much.
741
00:54:07,091 --> 00:54:09,218
I just try to be a decent guy.
742
00:54:09,385 --> 00:54:10,678
I wake up happy.
743
00:54:11,262 --> 00:54:13,014
My pals and I help each other.
744
00:54:13,139 --> 00:54:14,557
We laugh, we argue.
745
00:54:14,724 --> 00:54:17,435
And every Sunday,
we eat a big wild boar together.
746
00:54:18,060 --> 00:54:19,645
You've sold out.
747
00:54:19,896 --> 00:54:20,938
No, I haven't.
748
00:54:21,230 --> 00:54:23,649
In my village, I'm very respected.
749
00:54:23,816 --> 00:54:25,610
- In your village?
- Yes.
750
00:54:27,194 --> 00:54:28,613
That doesn't thrill me.
751
00:54:29,906 --> 00:54:33,576
Listen, I have a proposal to make.
752
00:54:35,745 --> 00:54:37,914
Come and work for me.
753
00:54:38,873 --> 00:54:41,959
Your mind united with my power...
754
00:54:42,418 --> 00:54:44,045
we'd make a smashing team.
755
00:54:45,129 --> 00:54:46,631
Why would I do that?
756
00:54:48,216 --> 00:54:49,425
Because I'm your father.
757
00:54:53,262 --> 00:54:54,222
No...
758
00:54:54,305 --> 00:54:57,183
You believed it! Yes, you did.
759
00:54:57,433 --> 00:54:58,935
You fell for it!
760
00:54:59,060 --> 00:55:00,394
Not at all.
761
00:55:01,562 --> 00:55:03,064
Rubbish.
762
00:55:03,231 --> 00:55:04,982
You're fighting the wrong battle.
763
00:55:05,191 --> 00:55:07,902
Defending the oppressed
is wasted sentimentality.
764
00:55:08,069 --> 00:55:10,529
It might flatter the ego,
but it's useless.
765
00:55:10,696 --> 00:55:14,200
You barely save one race
and another massacres them.
766
00:55:15,618 --> 00:55:19,372
You must be realistic and lucid.
There's no point.
767
00:55:19,997 --> 00:55:21,916
Besides these Britons are odd.
768
00:55:22,291 --> 00:55:24,210
They're playing Mr. Jolly now,
769
00:55:24,460 --> 00:55:28,798
but at the first chance, they'll
declare war on you for 100 years!
770
00:55:28,923 --> 00:55:30,591
Listen to me.
771
00:55:30,758 --> 00:55:33,469
You give me the barrel,
I finish my invasion,
772
00:55:33,636 --> 00:55:36,639
and we wipe out their civilisation.
No more hot water,
773
00:55:36,806 --> 00:55:39,725
no more boiled meat.
And we make them talk normally.
774
00:55:39,850 --> 00:55:42,061
Wouldn't that be a service to humanity?
775
00:55:43,229 --> 00:55:44,313
Yes.
776
00:55:46,399 --> 00:55:47,525
But no.
777
00:55:47,650 --> 00:55:48,484
Take him away.
778
00:55:48,651 --> 00:55:51,654
Torture him until he talks!
Enough! He wears me out.
779
00:56:04,834 --> 00:56:06,460
- He's awake!
- The champion's awake!
780
00:56:09,422 --> 00:56:11,549
The champion! The champion!
781
00:56:17,430 --> 00:56:19,348
Chief, it's the champion.
782
00:56:26,939 --> 00:56:28,274
Scare us.
783
00:56:29,066 --> 00:56:30,610
- Excuse me?
- Scare us!
784
00:56:32,612 --> 00:56:36,741
We travelled far to discover fear.
I demand that you teach us.
785
00:56:37,241 --> 00:56:39,118
Fear? Fear is...
786
00:56:39,535 --> 00:56:40,703
I don't know...
787
00:56:40,828 --> 00:56:44,332
You tremble, you sweat,
your teeth chatter,
788
00:56:44,582 --> 00:56:45,958
you get a stomach ache...
789
00:56:46,208 --> 00:56:48,502
It's the flu! Fear is the flu!
790
00:56:48,586 --> 00:56:50,046
How do you catch it?
791
00:56:50,213 --> 00:56:52,298
I caught it kissing my cousin Epitafe.
792
00:57:11,901 --> 00:57:15,947
For the last time, Norman,
I'm asking you...
793
00:57:16,155 --> 00:57:18,407
Where did they take Goudurix?
794
00:57:21,744 --> 00:57:25,498
My dear Ophelia,
I fear that isn't proper behaviour.
795
00:57:25,706 --> 00:57:29,585
Mr. Tetedepiaf,
though your presence here was not
796
00:57:29,710 --> 00:57:32,129
your choice, so to speak,
797
00:57:32,421 --> 00:57:36,509
we shall do everything
to ensure you have a pleasant stay.
798
00:57:36,759 --> 00:57:41,764
So please, if you have
any needs whatsoever, just ask us.
799
00:57:45,643 --> 00:57:49,480
You-want-me-give-something-you?
800
00:57:50,398 --> 00:57:50,982
Drink!
801
00:57:51,732 --> 00:57:54,193
I'm afraid I didn't hear correctly.
802
00:57:54,443 --> 00:57:56,571
I want drink! Give me!
803
00:57:57,280 --> 00:58:00,449
So many mistakes in so few words!
804
00:58:00,825 --> 00:58:03,786
Firstly, one does not "want" something,
805
00:58:03,953 --> 00:58:04,954
one "hopes".
806
00:58:05,121 --> 00:58:06,831
Or at best, one "wishes".
807
00:58:07,081 --> 00:58:08,666
Secondly,
808
00:58:08,833 --> 00:58:11,961
we Britons are very fussy
about forms of address.
809
00:58:12,128 --> 00:58:14,422
Thirdly and last,
810
00:58:14,547 --> 00:58:17,633
it is customary,
when expressing a request,
811
00:58:17,842 --> 00:58:19,635
to add polite phrases.
812
00:58:29,103 --> 00:58:30,479
I'm thirsty!
813
00:58:31,564 --> 00:58:34,817
This time, very exceptionally,
814
00:58:34,984 --> 00:58:37,612
I shall show flexibility
815
00:58:37,778 --> 00:58:40,156
and give into your request.
816
00:58:43,492 --> 00:58:44,327
It's hot!
817
00:58:44,493 --> 00:58:46,913
By Odin,
you want to poison me, witch?
818
00:58:47,330 --> 00:58:48,497
You, you... Untie me!
819
00:58:49,248 --> 00:58:50,374
Untie me!
820
00:58:50,499 --> 00:58:52,418
By Odin, untie me!
821
00:58:52,835 --> 00:58:53,753
My dear Ophelia,
822
00:58:53,961 --> 00:58:56,923
I believe Mr. Tetedepiaf
would greatly benefit
823
00:58:57,131 --> 00:59:01,052
from a crash course in proper manners.
824
00:59:08,059 --> 00:59:09,936
If several gentlemen are seated
825
00:59:10,061 --> 00:59:12,188
and a lady enters the room,
826
00:59:12,355 --> 00:59:15,900
the gentlemen must immediately
get to their feet
827
00:59:16,484 --> 00:59:19,237
and wait for the lady
to invite them to sit.
828
00:59:19,403 --> 00:59:22,573
Either verbally or with a gentle nod.
829
00:59:23,574 --> 00:59:24,700
Like this.
830
00:59:25,868 --> 00:59:27,870
If the lady wishes to sit down,
831
00:59:28,037 --> 00:59:31,707
one of the gentlemen,
the first one to her left, of course,
832
00:59:32,291 --> 00:59:34,544
must come and stand behind...
833
01:00:02,363 --> 01:00:05,533
So, Gaul, where's the barrel?
834
01:00:07,451 --> 01:00:09,620
Do you enjoy torturing people?
835
01:00:11,497 --> 01:00:14,625
I mean, is it a job you'd recommend
836
01:00:14,834 --> 01:00:16,043
to Young people?
837
01:00:16,210 --> 01:00:19,213
I'm serious,
one rarely gets to meet you people.
838
01:00:19,338 --> 01:00:21,632
And when you do,
it's usually all over.
839
01:00:23,092 --> 01:00:24,302
Where's the barrel?
840
01:00:25,887 --> 01:00:28,472
In your case, was it a vocation?
841
01:00:28,598 --> 01:00:30,766
A passion that became a profession?
842
01:00:30,892 --> 01:00:33,936
Or did a career counsellor orient you?
843
01:00:34,103 --> 01:00:37,940
Because it's obviously not a sideline,
you do a fine job.
844
01:00:38,107 --> 01:00:39,775
But then I thought,
845
01:00:39,859 --> 01:00:42,236
if you didn't choose it, why continue?
846
01:00:43,696 --> 01:00:45,114
Ok, ok!
847
01:00:45,990 --> 01:00:46,908
I'll talk.
848
01:00:47,116 --> 01:00:48,492
I feel like talking now.
849
01:00:53,873 --> 01:00:55,124
I'm listening.
850
01:00:56,959 --> 01:00:59,754
What if we decided to call it quits?
851
01:00:59,962 --> 01:01:03,132
Why don't we preach
love and fraternity instead?
852
01:01:03,507 --> 01:01:05,134
Too bad for you, Gaul.
853
01:01:11,057 --> 01:01:11,891
Yes?
854
01:01:12,475 --> 01:01:13,434
Who is it?
855
01:01:17,271 --> 01:01:18,356
A jolly good day.
856
01:01:18,564 --> 01:01:20,816
I thought you'd never get here!
857
01:01:20,942 --> 01:01:22,568
Free me, I'm burning up.
858
01:01:24,820 --> 01:01:26,030
What're you waiting for?
859
01:01:26,197 --> 01:01:30,576
I'm thinking about what you said.
Each man for himself...
860
01:01:30,701 --> 01:01:32,078
Obelix...
861
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:36,666
Maybe we should take a breather.
862
01:01:36,958 --> 01:01:38,376
This isn't funny.
863
01:01:38,501 --> 01:01:41,128
It's cruel of me
to bring up ancient history.
864
01:01:41,295 --> 01:01:44,257
Let's go.
We'll leave Asterix alone...
865
01:01:44,757 --> 01:01:46,008
You want an apology?
866
01:01:46,175 --> 01:01:48,010
Ok! But not like this.
867
01:01:48,386 --> 01:01:49,387
Why not?
868
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:52,640
It'll mean nothing.
I'll have done it under duress.
869
01:01:52,848 --> 01:01:55,184
Free me,
and I'll apologise of my own accord.
870
01:02:02,692 --> 01:02:06,862
It's crazy,
even their cranks turn the Wrong way!
871
01:02:07,530 --> 01:02:09,699
What about your apology?
872
01:02:11,659 --> 01:02:14,036
Goodbye, Pindepis.
Sorry about your plant.
873
01:02:14,203 --> 01:02:17,915
I kept the leaves. I'm sure
they'll continue bringing me good luck.
874
01:02:18,082 --> 01:02:20,209
Goodbye. And thanks again.
875
01:02:20,376 --> 01:02:21,586
Where's the barrel?
876
01:02:22,712 --> 01:02:23,796
Gone.
877
01:02:23,963 --> 01:02:25,798
Then we'd be wise to split up.
878
01:02:26,132 --> 01:02:28,676
I'll look for the barrel.
You, for Goudurix.
879
01:02:28,843 --> 01:02:30,219
Goudurix? Why Goudurix?
880
01:02:39,812 --> 01:02:41,731
You refuse to deliver your secret.
881
01:02:42,189 --> 01:02:43,941
No, I swear...
882
01:02:44,108 --> 01:02:47,361
We could cut him open to find his fear.
883
01:02:47,778 --> 01:02:48,905
Yeah. Cut him open.
884
01:02:49,780 --> 01:02:51,908
Cut him open! Cut him open!
885
01:02:53,326 --> 01:02:57,580
Enough fun and games.
Wake him up and take him to the cliff.
886
01:02:57,747 --> 01:03:00,374
I want to see a flight demonstration.
887
01:03:01,584 --> 01:03:02,627
Perfect.
888
01:03:03,502 --> 01:03:05,922
A cloud of milk
in your hot water, Mr. Tetedepiaf?
889
01:03:06,088 --> 01:03:07,548
Thank you, a spot.
890
01:03:07,965 --> 01:03:09,759
As you can see, Miss Macintosh
891
01:03:09,926 --> 01:03:13,262
has transformed Mr. Tetedepiaf
into a perfect gentleman.
892
01:03:13,596 --> 01:03:14,805
Unfortunately,
893
01:03:15,223 --> 01:03:17,975
he still refuses to say
where Goudurix was taken.
894
01:03:18,100 --> 01:03:20,061
Believe me when I say I'm sorry,
895
01:03:20,186 --> 01:03:23,814
but a gentleman never betrays
his companions-in-arms.
896
01:03:27,151 --> 01:03:30,988
We'll let him escape.
He'll lead us to his people.
897
01:03:33,282 --> 01:03:34,617
Miss Macintosh,
898
01:03:34,784 --> 01:03:37,912
could you come to the kitchen
with me for a minute?
899
01:03:45,586 --> 01:03:46,754
Say, Obelix...
900
01:03:47,463 --> 01:03:51,050
weren't we supposed to go
boar hunting in the forest?
901
01:03:52,468 --> 01:03:53,344
No, Why?
902
01:03:53,553 --> 01:03:55,179
Yes, I said to you,
903
01:03:55,846 --> 01:03:58,432
"Let's go boar hunting in the forest."
904
01:03:59,141 --> 01:04:01,852
Oh yes, of course!
Let's go to the forest!
905
01:04:02,061 --> 01:04:02,728
There you go.
906
01:04:02,937 --> 01:04:05,982
Yes, let's go boar hunting
in the forest!
907
01:04:06,524 --> 01:04:08,192
That's what I said.
908
01:04:08,484 --> 01:04:09,944
Ready to go?
909
01:04:10,027 --> 01:04:11,320
Where?
910
01:04:14,198 --> 01:04:17,201
What? I know it's for fake.
911
01:04:26,836 --> 01:04:28,004
What do you want?
912
01:04:29,505 --> 01:04:33,092
Excuse me for disturbing you,
but is that your cart?
913
01:04:33,759 --> 01:04:35,386
What do you care?
914
01:04:35,845 --> 01:04:38,723
It contained some barrels
that were stolen from me.
915
01:04:39,223 --> 01:04:40,016
And?
916
01:04:40,182 --> 01:04:43,978
And I believe their disappearance
is not news to you.
917
01:04:44,020 --> 01:04:47,982
Are you insinuating
that I look like a thief?
918
01:04:49,358 --> 01:04:49,942
Well...
919
01:04:52,153 --> 01:04:53,112
Yes.
920
01:04:57,909 --> 01:04:59,660
Are we going to the forest?
921
01:05:40,368 --> 01:05:42,745
Ok, I'll take care of it.
922
01:05:44,747 --> 01:05:46,582
Have a seat, Mr. Tetedepiaf.
923
01:05:46,749 --> 01:05:48,584
I just wanted to know
924
01:05:48,709 --> 01:05:50,586
if you intended to stay for supper?
925
01:05:50,753 --> 01:05:52,713
Because if you did,
926
01:05:52,880 --> 01:05:56,259
I shall need to do
some extra grocery shopping.
927
01:05:58,094 --> 01:06:00,096
I would truly be delighted.
928
01:06:00,221 --> 01:06:02,431
Unfortunately, I have another date.
929
01:06:24,787 --> 01:06:26,581
I didn't quite get that.
930
01:06:26,664 --> 01:06:30,126
It's simple. I hinted that
he was not expected for supper
931
01:06:30,376 --> 01:06:33,754
and like a perfect gentleman,
he did not wish to abuse my hospitality
932
01:06:34,338 --> 01:06:36,048
and so he left.
933
01:06:36,299 --> 01:06:37,133
That's all.
934
01:06:37,466 --> 01:06:39,218
That's all.
935
01:06:47,059 --> 01:06:48,352
A jolly good day to you.
936
01:06:48,895 --> 01:06:50,354
Likewise.
937
01:06:56,652 --> 01:06:57,987
Oh no...
938
01:07:17,673 --> 01:07:18,758
No!
939
01:07:20,343 --> 01:07:23,387
No! I'll do anything you want!
940
01:07:23,512 --> 01:07:25,264
I'll learn Norman! Eat seal!
941
01:07:25,932 --> 01:07:27,892
Dye my hair blond!
Don't throw me!
942
01:07:28,059 --> 01:07:29,101
Have mercy!
943
01:07:29,185 --> 01:07:32,313
- What's "mercy"?
- Another of their inventions.
944
01:07:33,856 --> 01:07:37,485
You fly down there, make a turn,
then land over there.
945
01:07:37,652 --> 01:07:39,362
Don't worry about the itinerary.
946
01:07:39,528 --> 01:07:40,821
It's all mapped out.
947
01:07:41,239 --> 01:07:42,573
Ok, go.
948
01:07:46,494 --> 01:07:47,536
No!
949
01:07:47,703 --> 01:07:48,412
Look!
950
01:07:49,580 --> 01:07:50,373
Tetedepiaf!
951
01:07:59,632 --> 01:08:01,968
A jolly good day to you, Chief.
952
01:08:02,093 --> 01:08:04,804
May this humble bouquet
touch your heart.
953
01:08:05,304 --> 01:08:06,556
In any case,
954
01:08:06,681 --> 01:08:08,266
I picked it with love.
955
01:08:12,687 --> 01:08:15,731
We're not here
to taste the local specialties.
956
01:08:16,023 --> 01:08:16,857
Where were you?
957
01:08:17,066 --> 01:08:19,026
I was a guest in a fine home
958
01:08:19,151 --> 01:08:21,904
where the hospitality
was irreproachable.
959
01:08:22,071 --> 01:08:23,072
But no matter...
960
01:08:23,406 --> 01:08:26,826
I'm unspeakably happy
to see you all again.
961
01:08:28,744 --> 01:08:30,079
You're right, no sentimentality.
962
01:08:32,248 --> 01:08:34,083
Okay, let's go...
963
01:08:35,585 --> 01:08:36,836
He's been bewitched.
964
01:08:37,003 --> 01:08:37,920
Bewitched!
965
01:08:39,505 --> 01:08:42,174
No, you're mistaken.
I wasn't bewitched,
966
01:08:42,258 --> 01:08:43,509
I was educated.
967
01:08:44,093 --> 01:08:44,802
Educated?
968
01:08:44,927 --> 01:08:46,512
Indeed. Educated.
969
01:08:47,096 --> 01:08:48,014
BY Who?
970
01:08:48,890 --> 01:08:49,640
By her...
971
01:08:52,977 --> 01:08:55,646
She'll educate us too!
Like Tetedepiaf!
972
01:08:57,356 --> 01:08:58,858
You there!
973
01:08:59,942 --> 01:09:02,194
Come here so I can punish you!
974
01:09:02,778 --> 01:09:04,322
What's happening to us?
975
01:09:04,447 --> 01:09:06,741
- My body's trembling!
- I'm sweating!
976
01:09:06,866 --> 01:09:07,992
I have a stomach ache!
977
01:09:08,159 --> 01:09:10,328
That means we're afraid!
978
01:09:14,373 --> 01:09:15,416
Follow me!
979
01:09:15,583 --> 01:09:18,461
Now that we've mastered fear,
we'll fly away.
980
01:09:24,175 --> 01:09:25,009
Hey you!
981
01:10:12,515 --> 01:10:14,016
Get back here!
982
01:10:14,100 --> 01:10:16,477
Savage! Brutish lout!
Moron!
983
01:10:17,144 --> 01:10:18,229
You and your people
984
01:10:18,396 --> 01:10:20,022
are backward beasts!
985
01:10:20,273 --> 01:10:23,859
Savages, vandals, pigs!
What am I saying?
986
01:10:23,985 --> 01:10:27,363
Bacon on legs
with cottage cheese brains!
987
01:10:29,657 --> 01:10:31,576
And all that sort of thing.
988
01:10:40,626 --> 01:10:44,380
I'm so hungry
I could eat my own stomach.
989
01:10:46,007 --> 01:10:47,884
How would you digest it?
990
01:10:48,050 --> 01:10:49,844
A new message from Jolitorax.
991
01:10:50,052 --> 01:10:52,972
Thank God!
I hope he'll soon be here.
992
01:10:53,097 --> 01:10:56,225
"I hope Her Majesty is well
and in good health.
993
01:10:56,434 --> 01:10:59,478
"The weather here is mild
with scattered showers,
994
01:10:59,645 --> 01:11:00,897
"but nothing worrying.
995
01:11:01,731 --> 01:11:03,900
"Your faithful servant, Jolitorax."
996
01:11:05,192 --> 01:11:07,361
Send a message to Jolitorax.
997
01:11:07,486 --> 01:11:10,364
I want to know where that barrel is.
998
01:11:24,921 --> 01:11:26,422
Mr. Obelix...
999
01:11:27,048 --> 01:11:27,673
Yes?
1000
01:11:27,840 --> 01:11:31,594
Would you have the good grace
to forget what you saw and heard
1001
01:11:31,719 --> 01:11:32,970
by the cliff earlier?
1002
01:11:33,137 --> 01:11:36,641
You can count on me.
I'll be as mute as a dolmen.
1003
01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:39,685
Thank you, Mr. Obelix.
1004
01:11:41,062 --> 01:11:44,273
It would seem
that you are a gentleman after all.
1005
01:11:47,610 --> 01:11:49,612
That's not enough! I need four!
1006
01:11:49,779 --> 01:11:50,863
One, two, three and four!
1007
01:11:51,280 --> 01:11:53,199
The 8th Legion arrives in six days.
1008
01:11:53,282 --> 01:11:56,035
Too long!
Tell them to step up the pace.
1009
01:11:56,327 --> 01:11:59,121
The men haven't slept
under a roof in weeks.
1010
01:11:59,288 --> 01:12:02,291
So what? This is the country.
Camping's fun, no?
1011
01:12:02,458 --> 01:12:05,503
A message from Langelus:
"Build fortification."
1012
01:12:05,711 --> 01:12:07,213
No time!
Let me talk to him!
1013
01:12:07,296 --> 01:12:09,257
Hello, Langelus?
1014
01:12:09,340 --> 01:12:10,466
Hello?
1015
01:12:11,968 --> 01:12:13,427
Lang... It doesn't work.
1016
01:12:14,762 --> 01:12:15,972
It doesn't work!
1017
01:12:58,723 --> 01:13:00,308
I'll never understand women.
1018
01:13:01,684 --> 01:13:03,811
If you don't look, you don't find.
1019
01:13:04,020 --> 01:13:06,022
But you can't look too hard either.
1020
01:13:06,188 --> 01:13:09,275
So you have to look without looking
1021
01:13:09,442 --> 01:13:11,485
while pretending not to look.
1022
01:13:12,820 --> 01:13:14,697
That's over my head.
1023
01:13:17,074 --> 01:13:18,451
What do you say?
1024
01:13:18,743 --> 01:13:19,869
I think women...
1025
01:13:20,036 --> 01:13:21,537
No, shut up.
1026
01:13:22,622 --> 01:13:23,915
I like it better.
1027
01:13:25,958 --> 01:13:26,751
Well?
1028
01:13:26,876 --> 01:13:28,878
I think I know where the barrel is.
1029
01:13:29,045 --> 01:13:32,798
It was sold to an innkeeper
who sold it to the Camulodunum team.
1030
01:13:32,924 --> 01:13:34,050
The team of what?
1031
01:13:34,217 --> 01:13:35,801
A typically British sport
1032
01:13:35,968 --> 01:13:39,138
where two teams of 15 players
fight over a bladder.
1033
01:13:39,388 --> 01:13:40,598
Sounds like fun.
1034
01:13:40,723 --> 01:13:43,142
Camulodunum is playing today.
1035
01:13:43,226 --> 01:13:45,228
The barrel's sure to be there.
1036
01:13:45,436 --> 01:13:47,063
I'll get Obelix and we're off.
1037
01:13:53,277 --> 01:13:55,029
I challenge you to a duel.
1038
01:13:56,364 --> 01:13:59,700
You have no idea
what I've been through. So just...
1039
01:14:00,576 --> 01:14:02,495
Take that sword and fight, coward!
1040
01:14:03,329 --> 01:14:04,705
Are you nuts? That hurt!
1041
01:14:04,956 --> 01:14:05,665
What's going on?
1042
01:14:06,207 --> 01:14:08,668
I fear this is a private matter.
1043
01:14:14,924 --> 01:14:16,842
I think he's using psychology.
1044
01:14:17,260 --> 01:14:19,303
- What if something happens?
- We'll explain.
1045
01:14:26,060 --> 01:14:26,936
Well?
1046
01:14:27,937 --> 01:14:29,939
We'll explain it.
1047
01:14:30,356 --> 01:14:32,483
Does your cowardice know no limits?
1048
01:14:32,858 --> 01:14:34,360
It's not cowardice!
1049
01:14:34,527 --> 01:14:37,947
Please,
don't claim your honour is at stake.
1050
01:14:38,072 --> 01:14:40,449
You merely wish
to appease your jealousy.
1051
01:14:40,825 --> 01:14:42,410
I think she's got a point.
1052
01:14:42,535 --> 01:14:44,620
You are prompt to criticise me again.
1053
01:14:44,787 --> 01:14:46,998
And you persist in shirking your duty.
1054
01:14:47,164 --> 01:14:49,458
- What do you mean?
- Seems obvious to me.
1055
01:14:50,626 --> 01:14:52,461
You really are too stupid.
1056
01:14:52,628 --> 01:14:54,589
So be it! Kill him!
1057
01:14:55,798 --> 01:14:59,302
But if you do, you shall lose
all credibility in my eyes.
1058
01:15:00,136 --> 01:15:03,472
True courage is not
killing a young fool in a duel...
1059
01:15:03,681 --> 01:15:05,725
It's daring to look a woman in the eye
1060
01:15:05,975 --> 01:15:08,352
and tell her your feelings.
1061
01:15:20,531 --> 01:15:23,492
Women, women, women...
1062
01:15:23,951 --> 01:15:26,913
Weak and disappointing creatures.
1063
01:15:29,165 --> 01:15:33,002
She's right, it's important
to express your feelings.
1064
01:15:33,169 --> 01:15:34,128
Really?
1065
01:15:34,253 --> 01:15:36,172
Yeah. If you love her, tell her.
1066
01:15:36,339 --> 01:15:38,174
Let it all hang out, old man.
1067
01:15:40,635 --> 01:15:42,011
Ophelia?
1068
01:15:47,808 --> 01:15:50,269
I wanted to tell you
about my feelings.
1069
01:15:54,857 --> 01:15:56,192
Miss Macintosh.
1070
01:15:58,819 --> 01:16:00,863
Jolly nice day, eh what?
1071
01:16:02,782 --> 01:16:05,660
I feel totally empty.
1072
01:16:05,952 --> 01:16:07,495
I have no energy.
1073
01:16:07,578 --> 01:16:10,248
I've encountered obstacles in the past,
1074
01:16:10,414 --> 01:16:13,251
but usually,
the desire to conquer wins out.
1075
01:16:13,376 --> 01:16:16,212
This time, my batteries are dead.
1076
01:16:16,712 --> 01:16:18,548
This desire to conquer...
1077
01:16:18,714 --> 01:16:20,633
What does it evoke?
1078
01:16:20,841 --> 01:16:23,553
Power and glory. I won't lie to you.
1079
01:16:23,761 --> 01:16:24,554
Power?
1080
01:16:25,638 --> 01:16:28,516
Dominating others. Subjugating them.
1081
01:16:28,724 --> 01:16:31,978
And also, I like it when people
are indebted towards me.
1082
01:16:32,562 --> 01:16:35,231
For example, I enjoy granting pardons.
1083
01:16:36,065 --> 01:16:39,485
When a condemned man
is about to be executed,
1084
01:16:39,652 --> 01:16:42,280
I show up at the last minute
and pardon him.
1085
01:16:42,405 --> 01:16:45,283
I like that a lot.
Yes, I like that a lot.
1086
01:16:45,408 --> 01:16:46,867
It's very pleasant.
1087
01:17:14,437 --> 01:17:15,688
What are the rules?
1088
01:17:15,855 --> 01:17:16,772
It's simple.
1089
01:17:16,939 --> 01:17:20,776
Each team must carry the bladder
over the other team's goal line.
1090
01:17:20,943 --> 01:17:22,778
Almost anything's allowed,
1091
01:17:22,945 --> 01:17:24,822
except the use of weapons.
1092
01:17:25,072 --> 01:17:27,325
Unless there's a prior agreement.
1093
01:17:32,246 --> 01:17:33,623
The stadium is too big.
1094
01:17:33,789 --> 01:17:35,958
We need a man at every exit.
1095
01:17:36,167 --> 01:17:37,752
Hey, I'm the one who decides.
1096
01:17:39,462 --> 01:17:42,048
The stadium is too big.
We'll change tactics.
1097
01:17:42,465 --> 01:17:43,841
You, you and you...
1098
01:17:44,175 --> 01:17:45,468
watch the other exits.
1099
01:17:45,593 --> 01:17:47,220
You, go for reinforcements.
1100
01:17:47,887 --> 01:17:49,430
Excellent idea!
1101
01:18:08,658 --> 01:18:09,867
Look! What's he doing?
1102
01:18:15,581 --> 01:18:16,832
You're out!
1103
01:18:17,667 --> 01:18:19,669
That is not a gentleman.
1104
01:18:41,399 --> 01:18:42,858
This is great.
1105
01:19:06,382 --> 01:19:09,135
That's the magic potion
or some very good wine.
1106
01:19:23,733 --> 01:19:26,193
We've been through hard times.
1107
01:19:26,903 --> 01:19:29,906
But today,
unless the sky falls on our heads...
1108
01:19:30,072 --> 01:19:31,741
- What's that noise?
- What?
1109
01:19:31,824 --> 01:19:33,951
I said, what's that whistling?
1110
01:19:37,246 --> 01:19:37,914
Oh no...
1111
01:19:41,918 --> 01:19:45,630
I'm tired. I'm so tired.
1112
01:19:48,841 --> 01:19:51,219
Excuse me. This barrel is ours,
we'd like it back.
1113
01:19:51,344 --> 01:19:52,595
In the name of Rome!
1114
01:19:52,762 --> 01:19:54,263
I requisition that barrel.
1115
01:19:54,555 --> 01:19:55,973
Take the barrel and run.
1116
01:19:58,517 --> 01:19:59,977
It's my barrel.
1117
01:20:00,436 --> 01:20:01,729
Let go!
1118
01:20:05,942 --> 01:20:07,151
Let's go.
1119
01:20:11,239 --> 01:20:12,323
Halt!
1120
01:20:12,949 --> 01:20:14,283
In the name of Rome!
1121
01:20:14,450 --> 01:20:15,117
Halt!
1122
01:20:20,831 --> 01:20:23,167
- Give me the bladder.
- No, I want to score.
1123
01:20:34,262 --> 01:20:35,471
Take to the river!
1124
01:20:39,141 --> 01:20:40,309
Charge!
1125
01:20:41,352 --> 01:20:42,895
Catch them!
1126
01:21:14,218 --> 01:21:14,886
This is no good.
1127
01:21:42,580 --> 01:21:43,831
Pindepis?
1128
01:21:44,790 --> 01:21:47,168
- What're you doing here?
- The Romans recaptured me.
1129
01:21:47,376 --> 01:21:50,630
They forced me to join their army.
1130
01:21:50,880 --> 01:21:52,965
Take that off and come with us.
1131
01:21:53,174 --> 01:21:55,384
Ok, and now what?
1132
01:21:55,509 --> 01:21:57,887
We break the bad news to the Queen.
1133
01:21:58,095 --> 01:21:59,680
Let us waste no time.
1134
01:21:59,847 --> 01:22:01,057
Not me.
1135
01:22:01,224 --> 01:22:02,850
What do you mean "not me"?
1136
01:22:03,893 --> 01:22:07,688
I promised Miss Macintosh
I'd attend a hot water party
1137
01:22:07,897 --> 01:22:09,398
with her girlfriends.
1138
01:22:09,690 --> 01:22:11,359
- You're joking.
- No.
1139
01:22:11,525 --> 01:22:14,403
I promised.
And a gentleman honours his promises.
1140
01:22:14,862 --> 01:22:16,530
That's enough, Obelix.
1141
01:22:16,697 --> 01:22:20,201
I recall we're on a mission.
That's your duty!
1142
01:22:20,409 --> 01:22:24,747
You cannot understand the sentiments
that bind Miss Macintosh and me.
1143
01:22:27,583 --> 01:22:29,168
Oh, I see!
1144
01:22:29,252 --> 01:22:32,797
Sire has sentiments now, does he?
1145
01:22:32,880 --> 01:22:35,216
Sire has become a gentleman?
1146
01:22:37,260 --> 01:22:38,844
You know what I think?
1147
01:22:40,555 --> 01:22:41,597
You're pathetic.
1148
01:22:43,015 --> 01:22:44,684
Pathetic and grotesque.
1149
01:22:46,060 --> 01:22:46,602
Very well.
1150
01:22:49,605 --> 01:22:50,690
Obelix!
1151
01:22:51,524 --> 01:22:53,359
I'll take care of this.
1152
01:22:53,442 --> 01:22:55,319
Obelix... Wait!
1153
01:23:14,380 --> 01:23:16,340
I think he really is angry.
1154
01:23:25,182 --> 01:23:26,183
This looks like doomsday.
1155
01:23:26,309 --> 01:23:29,645
It would seem that the siege
has been trying, eh what?
1156
01:23:29,812 --> 01:23:32,440
We can't tell them
we have no magic potion!
1157
01:23:32,648 --> 01:23:33,941
Calm down, Goudurix.
1158
01:23:34,483 --> 01:23:35,568
Very funny.
1159
01:23:35,693 --> 01:23:37,904
They'll either commit suicide
or lynch us.
1160
01:23:38,070 --> 01:23:42,033
Gentlemen, I'm happy
you are amongst us at last.
1161
01:23:42,200 --> 01:23:44,202
I'm impatient to see the effects
1162
01:23:44,368 --> 01:23:46,370
of your famous magic potion.
1163
01:23:51,542 --> 01:23:55,171
In regard to the magic potion,
Your Majesty...
1164
01:23:55,379 --> 01:23:59,300
We brought back a large quantity
in a barrel...
1165
01:24:01,385 --> 01:24:03,346
which is currently...
1166
01:24:03,512 --> 01:24:05,264
at the bottom of the Thames.
1167
01:24:08,684 --> 01:24:10,519
But it doesn't matter, Your Majesty.
1168
01:24:10,686 --> 01:24:11,270
Oh really?
1169
01:24:12,063 --> 01:24:12,688
Oh really?
1170
01:24:12,855 --> 01:24:14,023
Oh really?
1171
01:24:14,148 --> 01:24:18,277
I have the ingredients to make enough
for the entire village.
1172
01:24:18,527 --> 01:24:20,863
What jolly good news.
You almost scared me.
1173
01:24:22,740 --> 01:24:27,703
If you would kindly have a large
cauldron of boiling water prepared...
1174
01:24:30,706 --> 01:24:32,792
I admit I do not understand.
1175
01:24:33,209 --> 01:24:35,086
We have to fake it.
1176
01:24:35,545 --> 01:24:36,420
Pindepis...
1177
01:24:36,504 --> 01:24:39,173
How much of your plant
do you have left?
1178
01:24:41,926 --> 01:24:42,552
This much.
1179
01:24:43,553 --> 01:24:45,054
I need it.
1180
01:24:48,182 --> 01:24:49,225
This is all I have.
1181
01:24:49,934 --> 01:24:50,977
I know.
1182
01:24:57,066 --> 01:24:58,651
So...
1183
01:24:58,859 --> 01:25:03,239
I hear you are endowed
with exceptional strength, Mr. Obelix.
1184
01:25:04,490 --> 01:25:07,577
I try to keep myself in shape,
nothing more.
1185
01:25:07,743 --> 01:25:08,786
Do YOU play a sport?
1186
01:25:08,995 --> 01:25:10,872
Our boys start sports very young.
1187
01:25:11,038 --> 01:25:12,707
It fortifies them.
1188
01:25:12,832 --> 01:25:15,751
More important,
it instils a sense of camaraderie.
1189
01:25:16,168 --> 01:25:19,589
Personally, I think that friendship
1190
01:25:19,755 --> 01:25:22,758
is by far the strongest bond
between two people.
1191
01:25:23,092 --> 01:25:25,428
What do you think, Mr. Obelix?
1192
01:25:29,599 --> 01:25:33,769
Our friend would like to know
whether you think that friendship
1193
01:25:33,936 --> 01:25:36,397
is the strongest bond
between two people?
1194
01:25:45,865 --> 01:25:47,116
Asterix...
1195
01:26:00,129 --> 01:26:01,964
Once again,
1196
01:26:02,131 --> 01:26:04,634
Roman discipline triumphs
over barbarian chaos.
1197
01:26:06,552 --> 01:26:08,888
The fanatical Gaul commando squad,
1198
01:26:09,096 --> 01:26:12,308
who underhandedly tried to rally
the British rebels,
1199
01:26:12,475 --> 01:26:13,768
has been wiped out.
1200
01:26:13,935 --> 01:26:16,354
And their so-called
secret weapon destroyed!
1201
01:26:17,521 --> 01:26:18,981
The time has come
1202
01:26:19,190 --> 01:26:21,776
to wipe out the terrorist village!
1203
01:26:52,431 --> 01:26:53,140
It's ready.
1204
01:26:53,808 --> 01:26:57,019
I say, it's far simpler than I thought.
1205
01:27:00,773 --> 01:27:01,941
Gentlemen, please...
1206
01:27:08,489 --> 01:27:09,532
Excellent
1207
01:27:10,283 --> 01:27:13,578
Very invigorating.
I'm already feeling the effects.
1208
01:27:13,870 --> 01:27:16,372
Might I have a cloud of milk
with my potion?
1209
01:27:17,665 --> 01:27:19,542
Attack formation!
1210
01:27:19,792 --> 01:27:21,168
Attack formation!
1211
01:27:39,645 --> 01:27:42,064
Forward... march!
1212
01:28:05,338 --> 01:28:07,215
Legions! Halt!
1213
01:28:09,634 --> 01:28:10,593
Ave, Roman.
1214
01:28:11,093 --> 01:28:14,096
Hey, I just wanted to play fair
as the Brits say...
1215
01:28:14,222 --> 01:28:17,099
We have the magic potion,
so you can still surrender.
1216
01:28:18,059 --> 01:28:20,645
I know him!
He's one of the invincible Gauls.
1217
01:28:21,020 --> 01:28:23,105
Yes, I'm afraid so.
1218
01:28:24,148 --> 01:28:25,608
What are they doing?
1219
01:28:25,942 --> 01:28:27,276
What are they doing!
1220
01:28:29,320 --> 01:28:30,780
Fall in!
1221
01:28:30,905 --> 01:28:32,406
Fall in!
1222
01:28:32,490 --> 01:28:34,617
- I thought they were dead!
- He's alive.
1223
01:28:34,784 --> 01:28:38,120
- His fat friend can't be far.
- Hush, he's super-sensitive.
1224
01:28:38,287 --> 01:28:41,457
If the Britons have the magic potion,
we're goners.
1225
01:28:44,585 --> 01:28:46,254
I think they're ripe. Ready?
1226
01:28:49,257 --> 01:28:52,093
I say. Your friend doesn't look well.
1227
01:28:55,012 --> 01:28:55,555
Excuse me.
1228
01:28:57,056 --> 01:28:58,182
I'll be right back.
1229
01:28:58,766 --> 01:28:59,809
Something wrong?
1230
01:28:59,976 --> 01:29:03,020
I was thinking,
maybe I'll just wait for you here.
1231
01:29:04,146 --> 01:29:06,274
- Goudurix...
- They'll slaughter us!
1232
01:29:06,440 --> 01:29:10,486
Listen to me. What we gave them
wasn't magic potion, it was hope,
1233
01:29:10,653 --> 01:29:12,154
and that's all they have.
1234
01:29:12,321 --> 01:29:15,700
If we lose heart, so will they.
Is that what you want?
1235
01:29:24,959 --> 01:29:27,378
The time has come to become a man.
1236
01:29:29,505 --> 01:29:31,340
Afterwards, it'll be too late.
1237
01:29:51,527 --> 01:29:52,820
Stay in formation!
1238
01:29:57,700 --> 01:29:58,784
They'll slaughter us!
1239
01:30:04,874 --> 01:30:05,917
Close ranks!
1240
01:30:08,127 --> 01:30:09,587
Close ranks!
1241
01:30:39,909 --> 01:30:43,037
They don't have magic powers!
They're bluffing.
1242
01:30:43,204 --> 01:30:44,789
They don't have magic powers.
1243
01:30:44,997 --> 01:30:47,250
Close ranks! Attack!
1244
01:30:47,542 --> 01:30:48,834
They're bluffing!
1245
01:31:12,275 --> 01:31:13,442
What the...
1246
01:31:14,944 --> 01:31:15,778
What is that?
1247
01:31:23,327 --> 01:31:24,370
Obelix?
1248
01:31:27,290 --> 01:31:28,332
Obelix!
1249
01:31:28,499 --> 01:31:29,584
Wait.
1250
01:31:30,835 --> 01:31:34,755
One, you have no right
to decide what's good for me.
1251
01:31:36,340 --> 01:31:38,384
I want that to be very clear.
1252
01:31:39,302 --> 01:31:40,636
As for what you said,
1253
01:31:40,803 --> 01:31:43,973
that I'm a burden...
that you'd sacrificed everything...
1254
01:31:44,140 --> 01:31:45,057
Come on, Obelix...
1255
01:31:45,141 --> 01:31:46,517
I've thought about it.
1256
01:31:46,684 --> 01:31:47,977
It's not a sacrifice.
1257
01:31:48,144 --> 01:31:51,022
A sacrifice is when
you get nothing in return.
1258
01:31:51,188 --> 01:31:52,815
But you can't say that.
1259
01:31:52,940 --> 01:31:54,609
Because you know what you get?
1260
01:31:56,319 --> 01:31:57,570
You get a friend.
1261
01:32:03,701 --> 01:32:04,952
Obelix...
1262
01:32:05,119 --> 01:32:07,163
I'm ashamed about what happened.
1263
01:32:11,417 --> 01:32:13,294
Nothing happened.
1264
01:32:13,753 --> 01:32:14,921
Nothing happened.
1265
01:32:20,760 --> 01:32:23,012
I'm terribly sorry to interrupt...
1266
01:32:23,179 --> 01:32:26,015
But what do we do about them?
1267
01:32:56,420 --> 01:32:57,046
No!
1268
01:33:12,979 --> 01:33:14,230
I'm here!
1269
01:33:39,672 --> 01:33:42,550
That's that.
Let's wrap it up and go home.
1270
01:33:50,391 --> 01:33:54,896
My dear Gauls,
all Britain is grateful to you.
1271
01:34:04,071 --> 01:34:05,531
How cool. Thanks.
1272
01:34:16,459 --> 01:34:17,460
Thank you, Your Majesty.
1273
01:34:17,627 --> 01:34:20,463
But you owe your victory
to your courage alone.
1274
01:34:20,630 --> 01:34:22,381
It wasn't magic potion.
1275
01:34:22,840 --> 01:34:24,300
I guessed as much.
1276
01:34:24,383 --> 01:34:26,260
However, I tasted the concoction
1277
01:34:26,552 --> 01:34:28,012
and found it delicious.
1278
01:34:28,179 --> 01:34:29,180
What plant was it?
1279
01:34:31,557 --> 01:34:34,977
It's a plant that is widely used
in my country.
1280
01:34:35,061 --> 01:34:37,605
We call it "tea".
1281
01:34:38,856 --> 01:34:43,152
Well then, as of today,
I declare tea our national beverage.
1282
01:34:46,364 --> 01:34:49,075
Mr. Pindepis,
I wish to order 4,000 tons.
1283
01:34:54,038 --> 01:34:55,164
Thank you.
1284
01:34:56,624 --> 01:34:58,334
And you, Sir Jolitorax,
1285
01:34:58,584 --> 01:35:01,837
for your courage, for your valour,
1286
01:35:02,338 --> 01:35:04,840
and most importantly,
1287
01:35:05,007 --> 01:35:07,510
for promoting
the values of our great land,
1288
01:35:07,677 --> 01:35:09,554
I name you
1289
01:35:10,054 --> 01:35:12,181
Peer of the Realm.
1290
01:35:17,103 --> 01:35:18,688
Thank you, Your Majesty.
1291
01:35:18,854 --> 01:35:20,356
I would like, in turn,
1292
01:35:20,648 --> 01:35:23,359
to pay homage to the woman
who inspired me
1293
01:35:23,568 --> 01:35:25,862
throughout this long adventure...
1294
01:35:26,737 --> 01:35:29,490
Whose exceptional
and plentiful qualities
1295
01:35:30,116 --> 01:35:31,993
command my admiration
1296
01:35:32,743 --> 01:35:34,036
and my respect...
1297
01:35:34,203 --> 01:35:37,999
Whose radiant beauty
dazzles so brightly
1298
01:35:38,207 --> 01:35:40,126
that she could, all alone,
1299
01:35:40,334 --> 01:35:43,713
serve as a beacon
to ships lost in the fog...
1300
01:35:43,880 --> 01:35:45,548
Whose graceful figure
1301
01:35:45,715 --> 01:35:48,342
promises voluptuous delights...
1302
01:35:48,426 --> 01:35:50,094
and whose sensual lips
1303
01:35:50,761 --> 01:35:53,389
cry out for passionate embraces.
1304
01:35:53,556 --> 01:35:57,852
She who is my joy, my folly,
she who makes my head spin...
1305
01:35:58,853 --> 01:36:02,440
Ophelia, I waited far too long
to make this declaration,
1306
01:36:02,648 --> 01:36:05,026
I love you.
Nothing would make me happier...
1307
01:36:05,151 --> 01:36:07,445
Oh, shut up and kiss me!
1308
01:36:34,722 --> 01:36:36,265
I'm in for trouble.
1309
01:36:41,103 --> 01:36:42,438
Mr. Obelix!
1310
01:36:43,773 --> 01:36:44,649
Yes?
1311
01:36:45,775 --> 01:36:48,986
When a gentleman
abandons a lady, slap bang
1312
01:36:49,153 --> 01:36:51,531
in the midst of a social event,
1313
01:36:51,948 --> 01:36:56,452
humiliating the lady and inflicting
the mockery of her friends...
1314
01:36:56,619 --> 01:37:01,666
the affront is so great that he cannot
be considered a gentleman...
1315
01:37:03,793 --> 01:37:04,961
Unless,
1316
01:37:05,127 --> 01:37:08,297
of course,
Her Majesty's safety is at stake.
1317
01:37:08,381 --> 01:37:10,675
In that case, and in that case only,
1318
01:37:10,841 --> 01:37:15,388
he can, very exceptionally, be excused.
1319
01:37:16,138 --> 01:37:17,098
Thank you.
1320
01:37:17,473 --> 01:37:18,849
But...
1321
01:37:19,725 --> 01:37:23,980
I think that deep down, I'm a real Gaul.
1322
01:37:24,021 --> 01:37:25,606
And I a real Briton.
1323
01:37:26,983 --> 01:37:31,028
The time has come
for us to say farewell, Obelix.
1324
01:37:31,487 --> 01:37:34,323
And in the name of everything
we have shared,
1325
01:37:36,200 --> 01:37:37,493
I shall lay aside
1326
01:37:38,202 --> 01:37:40,496
the principles of my education
1327
01:37:40,621 --> 01:37:42,957
and allow myself to...
1328
01:37:44,333 --> 01:37:45,626
shake your hand.
1329
01:38:03,185 --> 01:38:04,353
It's...
1330
01:38:09,108 --> 01:38:13,196
In any case,
I'll never be the same again.
1331
01:38:14,071 --> 01:38:17,658
You'll see, Asterix,
you'll fall in love one clay too.
1332
01:38:20,077 --> 01:38:23,122
Ok, ok. I've made lots of contacts.
1333
01:38:27,376 --> 01:38:28,544
I'm so happy-
1334
01:38:32,006 --> 01:38:33,591
It's extraordinary.
1335
01:38:46,062 --> 01:38:49,065
The energy here is amazing,
don't you think?
1336
01:38:51,234 --> 01:38:52,151
Excuse me?
1337
01:38:52,777 --> 01:38:55,905
I said, the energy here is amazing.
1338
01:39:04,455 --> 01:39:05,957
Forgive me, O Caesar,
1339
01:39:06,082 --> 01:39:09,585
but for the end of the chapter
on the British campaign...
1340
01:39:10,419 --> 01:39:11,546
what should I write?
1341
01:39:12,964 --> 01:39:15,925
After several weeks of siege,
1342
01:39:16,592 --> 01:39:20,972
the Queen of the Britons
and her soldiers surrendered to Caesar,
1343
01:39:21,138 --> 01:39:24,058
who, showing magnanimity,
spared their lives
1344
01:39:24,225 --> 01:39:26,477
and sailed onto new conquests.
1345
01:39:27,103 --> 01:39:27,728
But...
1346
01:39:27,937 --> 01:39:29,438
What? Is something wrong?
1347
01:39:29,564 --> 01:39:30,606
No, no...
1348
01:39:31,899 --> 01:39:34,151
"The Adventures of Asterix..."
1349
01:39:35,027 --> 01:39:36,362
Now I've heard it all.
1350
01:45:43,020 --> 01:45:44,814
Subtitles: Julie Meyer
1351
01:45:44,939 --> 01:45:46,858
Subtitling: C.M.C.