1
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:14,132
You don't mess with the Zohan!
2
00:02:32,154 --> 00:02:33,246
Come disco.
3
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,651
No, no, no.
I no disco, I make the fish.
4
00:02:35,824 --> 00:02:37,485
Danny, come on, go disco.
5
00:02:37,659 --> 00:02:40,823
Oh, okay. Disco!
6
00:02:41,297 --> 00:02:44,460
Danny, that looks good. You're gonna
be a hit at your bar mitzvah.
7
00:02:45,835 --> 00:02:49,601
So okay, Mr. Big Penachim,
I no see you disco.
8
00:02:49,772 --> 00:02:51,604
No, no, no. I making dagim.
I no disco.
9
00:02:51,775 --> 00:02:54,744
A real man, he can disco
and cooking dagim.
10
00:02:54,912 --> 00:02:56,004
So let's go.
11
00:03:00,317 --> 00:03:02,251
Go, go.
12
00:03:03,788 --> 00:03:05,585
I get the hummus for you.
13
00:03:06,858 --> 00:03:08,155
And for you.
14
00:03:11,629 --> 00:03:12,960
Little for me, eh?
15
00:03:19,004 --> 00:03:20,028
No.
16
00:03:23,142 --> 00:03:24,302
No.
17
00:03:24,476 --> 00:03:26,342
Kapara, what is going on?
18
00:03:26,513 --> 00:03:28,811
Just some bullshit-uchen.
19
00:03:29,849 --> 00:03:30,873
Let's go!
20
00:03:31,051 --> 00:03:34,987
Hey, I'm on vacation here.
Can't you see this?
21
00:03:35,155 --> 00:03:39,058
You promised me time off.
Get someone else to do it.
22
00:03:42,897 --> 00:03:45,525
Are they gonna hurt him?
23
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,828
No one can hurt the Zohan.
24
00:03:50,172 --> 00:03:54,506
- Bye, Zohan.
- Take care, man.
25
00:04:13,564 --> 00:04:15,532
The terrorist known as Phantom...
26
00:04:15,698 --> 00:04:18,826
...was spotted yesterday at a
Hacky Sack tournament in Beirut.
27
00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:27,939
He may be have been trying to
bait us by surfacing briefly.
28
00:04:28,112 --> 00:04:31,513
We believe he's being kept in a safe
house on the Lebanon border.
29
00:04:31,682 --> 00:04:33,013
How is we lose Phantom?
30
00:04:33,184 --> 00:04:35,584
Didrt I capture Phantom
three months ago?
31
00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:37,778
What, you didn't hear
about the trade?
32
00:04:37,955 --> 00:04:39,081
What trade?
33
00:04:41,926 --> 00:04:43,861
Zohan, we gave back the Phantom.
34
00:04:44,029 --> 00:04:46,429
No!
35
00:04:46,598 --> 00:04:48,964
What do you mean,
we give back the Phantom?
36
00:04:49,134 --> 00:04:50,567
Zohan, relax.
37
00:04:50,736 --> 00:04:53,968
It was a good trade.
We got back Etan and David.
38
00:04:54,140 --> 00:04:56,904
That's all we got
for a veteran terrorist?
39
00:04:57,076 --> 00:04:59,601
Come on, we got hosed here.
40
00:04:59,779 --> 00:05:01,906
They threw in a spy
to be named later.
41
00:05:02,081 --> 00:05:04,208
Come on, Zohan,
you have to like that deal.
42
00:05:04,384 --> 00:05:06,148
Maybe they're talking about Ze'ev.
43
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,754
Ze'ev.
Come on, he's not even a good spy.
44
00:05:08,922 --> 00:05:12,050
He got caught, for God's sake.
He's a stupid.
45
00:05:12,226 --> 00:05:16,425
Our plan is to enter the building from
the front with a team of eight men...
46
00:05:16,598 --> 00:05:19,294
...with an additional 12 men
at perimeter positions.
47
00:05:19,467 --> 00:05:23,301
Unfortunately, there is a high
probability of collateral damage...
48
00:05:23,471 --> 00:05:27,066
...including property and loss of life,
on both sides.
49
00:05:27,242 --> 00:05:28,801
Okay, here we go.
50
00:05:28,978 --> 00:05:30,172
Excuse me?
51
00:05:30,346 --> 00:05:33,645
Come on, is it not safer
to send one man into building...
52
00:05:33,816 --> 00:05:36,080
...with minimal coverage
to take out the target...
53
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,447
...instead of blowing up
half the neighborhood?
54
00:05:38,622 --> 00:05:39,987
Well, who would do that?
55
00:05:40,157 --> 00:05:41,522
Oh, "who would do that?"
56
00:05:41,692 --> 00:05:43,990
You know you were
going to ask the Zohan.
57
00:05:44,161 --> 00:05:45,355
Zohan, why you say this?
58
00:05:45,529 --> 00:05:48,692
I just laid out an entire plan
which didn't rely on you.
59
00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:51,027
Come on, Yaron,
you're setting me up.
60
00:05:51,202 --> 00:05:54,968
All this talk of civilian casualties,
then of course I end up doing it.
61
00:05:55,139 --> 00:05:58,267
- But I'm not even asking you to do it.
- All right, I'll do it.
62
00:05:58,443 --> 00:06:02,210
Give me Avi and Koby as watch,
I'll get it done without the mess.
63
00:06:02,381 --> 00:06:05,009
Well, thank you. You didn't have to.
64
00:06:05,184 --> 00:06:07,550
Oh, I didn't have to, bullschlassah.
65
00:06:08,387 --> 00:06:09,877
Have some Fizzy Bubblech.
66
00:06:10,923 --> 00:06:14,325
"Kiwi watermelon"? Yeah, is good.
67
00:06:57,107 --> 00:06:59,735
"Avalon."
68
00:07:18,496 --> 00:07:20,294
Chunky cuts.
69
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:23,793
Zohan, what are you doing?
The girls are here.
70
00:07:23,969 --> 00:07:25,800
I know, I was watching television.
71
00:07:25,971 --> 00:07:28,769
Well, if you want to have fun with us,
we're right next door.
72
00:07:28,941 --> 00:07:31,638
- Good with the sticky, you should do it.
- No, no, no.
73
00:07:31,812 --> 00:07:34,645
I am going to dinner with my parents.
Just leave me alone.
74
00:07:34,815 --> 00:07:38,114
- All right, all right.
- It is all right!
75
00:07:39,419 --> 00:07:41,114
You don't giggle at the Zohan.
76
00:07:41,289 --> 00:07:44,053
You hear me?
No giggling at the Zohan.
77
00:07:44,225 --> 00:07:46,625
You never giggle at the Zohan.
78
00:07:51,499 --> 00:07:52,797
What's the matter, tatele?
79
00:07:52,968 --> 00:07:55,801
You haven't touched
your baba ganoush.
80
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,004
What would you think if I tell you...
81
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,474
...I want to leaving the army,
start a new life?
82
00:08:03,947 --> 00:08:09,010
Why would you do that?
You are good at it. It's steady pay.
83
00:08:09,185 --> 00:08:11,176
You can't leave,
you're one of their best.
84
00:08:11,354 --> 00:08:13,481
Besides, you are too old
to take a risk.
85
00:08:13,656 --> 00:08:17,093
Stay in the army, play it safe.
86
00:08:17,261 --> 00:08:19,957
There's other things I can do
besides war.
87
00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:21,597
You don't war.
88
00:08:21,765 --> 00:08:24,359
- I was in the real war.
- I know, I know the story.
89
00:08:24,535 --> 00:08:26,697
1967.
90
00:08:26,872 --> 00:08:30,706
We were surrounded on all sides,
outnumbered.
91
00:08:30,876 --> 00:08:33,106
- And in six days, we...
- And in six days, we won.
92
00:08:33,278 --> 00:08:35,906
You won. I'm sorry,
I don't have a big, fancy war...
93
00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:37,674
...that lasted all of six days...
94
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:42,981
Six days and five hours.
Your generation likes to forget that.
95
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,753
Dad, I've done so much
for the country. When does it end?
96
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:52,365
They've been fighting for 2000 years.
It can't be much longer.
97
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,158
All of my friends served
the minimum three years.
98
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,863
Why can't I move on?
Do something else.
99
00:09:00,041 --> 00:09:02,407
Something more creative.
100
00:09:02,577 --> 00:09:04,238
Creative, what?
101
00:09:04,412 --> 00:09:07,245
You've caught so many terrorists,
it's an art.
102
00:09:07,415 --> 00:09:09,849
You're like Rembrandt
with a grenade.
103
00:09:10,018 --> 00:09:11,077
What will you do?
104
00:09:12,821 --> 00:09:14,482
Maybe go to America.
105
00:09:14,657 --> 00:09:17,524
What, and haggle over
stereo equipment?
106
00:09:17,693 --> 00:09:19,490
Wait a minute, Ya'acov.
107
00:09:19,662 --> 00:09:22,325
Uncle Levi will set you up
at electronic store.
108
00:09:22,499 --> 00:09:26,026
You make money, sow your
creative oats, you come back.
109
00:09:26,202 --> 00:09:28,932
No, I don't want to do
electronics store.
110
00:09:29,572 --> 00:09:31,199
Then how will you make money?
111
00:09:32,809 --> 00:09:34,209
I don't want to say.
112
00:09:34,378 --> 00:09:38,542
Zohan, if you can't tell your parents,
who can you tell?
113
00:09:38,716 --> 00:09:41,014
Come, Zohanele.
114
00:09:44,556 --> 00:09:47,957
I want to cut...
115
00:09:48,126 --> 00:09:51,095
...and style hair.
116
00:09:58,204 --> 00:10:00,604
You... You fagala?
117
00:10:00,773 --> 00:10:02,900
He's fag... Faga...
118
00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:09,508
I like hair. It's pleasant,
it's peaceful, no one gets hurt.
119
00:10:09,683 --> 00:10:14,313
Well, you're only digging
that fagala hole deeper and deeper.
120
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:19,889
Hello, down there!
Hello, in the fagala hole.
121
00:10:20,929 --> 00:10:22,590
Maybe he wants Vaseline.
122
00:10:24,432 --> 00:10:27,128
Yes, it's so funny.
123
00:10:55,199 --> 00:11:02,197
I just want to make people
silky smooth.
124
00:11:11,717 --> 00:11:14,949
You know the Phantom will try to run,
so be ready for this.
125
00:11:15,121 --> 00:11:16,782
- Zohan, now!
- So let's go.
126
00:11:34,942 --> 00:11:36,137
The Zohan.
127
00:11:45,921 --> 00:11:47,389
Freeze!
128
00:11:59,203 --> 00:12:04,539
I get it, I get it,
you guys don't like our country.
129
00:12:11,749 --> 00:12:13,011
So we are the bad ones.
130
00:12:13,184 --> 00:12:16,347
I'd love to sit and discuss this
with you, but I'm short on time.
131
00:12:16,521 --> 00:12:18,614
I'm just saying.
It's not so cut-and-dry.
132
00:12:21,026 --> 00:12:23,221
We settled here
for hundreds of years!
133
00:12:23,395 --> 00:12:24,555
Good point.
134
00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:28,188
None of my ancestors ever stepped
foot in this land. No, you're right.
135
00:12:28,367 --> 00:12:30,301
Hey, don't walk away!
136
00:12:31,404 --> 00:12:33,872
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
137
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,974
Hello, jackass.
138
00:12:38,979 --> 00:12:42,916
You think you can oppress my people,
landgrabber?
139
00:12:43,484 --> 00:12:46,715
But I will never disappear.
140
00:12:46,888 --> 00:12:49,948
No one can catch Phantom!
141
00:12:57,766 --> 00:12:59,165
So let's go.
142
00:13:15,485 --> 00:13:16,851
Very good.
143
00:13:47,653 --> 00:13:49,554
Sorry. It's for the cause.
144
00:14:03,404 --> 00:14:05,304
Zohan.
145
00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:12,174
Zohan, bring it.
146
00:14:27,530 --> 00:14:29,327
Why you do this? I feel no pain.
147
00:14:29,499 --> 00:14:32,866
No, no, no. I feel no pain.
148
00:14:33,036 --> 00:14:36,495
- I feel no pain. This is too much...
- No, no, no. I feel no pain.
149
00:14:36,674 --> 00:14:38,232
I have told you in other fights.
150
00:14:38,409 --> 00:14:40,900
No, no, no. I kill you right now.
151
00:14:46,251 --> 00:14:48,219
Look, look, look.
152
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:55,493
The pirana,
it looks very painful for you.
153
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,425
Is good, is good.
154
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,690
Is very nice. Yes, yes.
155
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,061
Fizzy Bubblech for me.
156
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,205
You like what you see?
157
00:15:11,412 --> 00:15:12,538
Time to die.
158
00:15:12,713 --> 00:15:14,237
So let's go.
159
00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:26,617
Okay, game over.
160
00:15:46,049 --> 00:15:47,482
Yeah!
161
00:15:49,353 --> 00:15:50,843
I kill!
162
00:15:51,388 --> 00:15:54,324
I kill the Zohan!
163
00:15:55,093 --> 00:15:56,151
Zohan is dead.
164
00:15:59,997 --> 00:16:02,124
The Phantom!
165
00:16:33,934 --> 00:16:37,063
Cutting the hair,
this makes something beautiful.
166
00:16:37,239 --> 00:16:39,230
Instead of shooting it.
167
00:16:39,408 --> 00:16:41,501
That's why I had to fake to die.
168
00:16:41,676 --> 00:16:45,305
I could have captured Phantom again,
but for what? They trade him.
169
00:16:46,248 --> 00:16:49,548
I love my country,
but the fighting, it never ends.
170
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,988
It's like Mr. Scrappy, you bite Coco.
171
00:16:53,156 --> 00:16:54,555
Coco, you bite him back.
172
00:16:54,724 --> 00:16:58,888
Soon you are both having worms,
eating your own poopech...
173
00:17:02,933 --> 00:17:04,127
I understand. The pills.
174
00:17:04,301 --> 00:17:06,861
Your parents think
they know what's best for you.
175
00:17:07,037 --> 00:17:08,698
Sleep.
176
00:17:15,980 --> 00:17:18,778
It's all about not getting recognized.
177
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,884
I know how great I looked
in the beard...
178
00:17:21,052 --> 00:17:23,886
but I'll make this work for me,
you'll see.
179
00:17:38,305 --> 00:17:41,570
Rise and shine, guys.
Good morning.
180
00:17:42,209 --> 00:17:43,802
Is nice, huh?
181
00:17:43,978 --> 00:17:45,411
It's the Avalon.
182
00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:49,744
It says I care about the way I look,
but I'm still approachable.
183
00:17:51,486 --> 00:17:53,283
Oh, you like this?
184
00:17:53,454 --> 00:17:56,549
Who wants to go next, guys?
Who wants to look silky smooth?
185
00:17:56,725 --> 00:17:58,784
Yes. Yes.
186
00:18:03,098 --> 00:18:06,125
Oh, where are my two little babies?
Oh, come on.
187
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:09,430
Come on out, Scrappy, come on out.
Come to Mama, Mr. Coco.
188
00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:14,135
Mr. Scrappy. Coco.
What happened?
189
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,335
Who gave you permission
to do this, huh?
190
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,106
Who did? Answer me.
191
00:18:18,282 --> 00:18:20,341
Scrappy, was it you?
It was you, wasrt it?
192
00:18:20,518 --> 00:18:22,247
You're always the instigator.
193
00:18:22,419 --> 00:18:27,288
Bad dog. You are a very bad dog.
Never again are you gonna travel.
194
00:18:34,165 --> 00:18:36,929
Take me to the Paul Mitchell
hair salon.
195
00:18:37,469 --> 00:18:39,870
- First time in New York?
- Yes, my friend.
196
00:18:40,273 --> 00:18:41,797
So, what brings you here?
197
00:18:41,974 --> 00:18:43,441
I have a dream.
198
00:18:44,110 --> 00:18:45,509
I had a dream too.
199
00:18:45,678 --> 00:18:47,009
What dream you have?
200
00:18:47,179 --> 00:18:49,010
My dream was to come to America...
201
00:18:49,181 --> 00:18:52,208
...and make enough money
to send for me brothers and sisters...
202
00:18:52,386 --> 00:18:54,650
...so that we all could enjoy
freedom together.
203
00:18:54,821 --> 00:18:56,846
- This is good dream.
- Oh, yes, it is.
204
00:18:57,024 --> 00:18:59,219
- Is dream come true?
- No, man.
205
00:18:59,393 --> 00:19:01,828
Me brothers and sisters
were hacked to death.
206
00:19:01,996 --> 00:19:05,557
But I love the Chinese food here.
It's incredible.
207
00:20:15,643 --> 00:20:19,204
- Hey, you forgot these.
- Those are for you, my friend.
208
00:20:28,223 --> 00:20:31,887
Good morning for you.
I am here to meet Mr. Paul Mitchell.
209
00:20:32,061 --> 00:20:33,153
And who are you?
210
00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:38,589
Scrappy Coco.
I am here to take a job from him.
211
00:20:38,768 --> 00:20:40,167
He isn't in right now.
212
00:20:40,336 --> 00:20:42,065
That's good. So I will wait, then.
213
00:20:45,609 --> 00:20:48,669
You know what? I'll take
one Fizzy Bubblech, a raspberry.
214
00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:52,048
You know,
he actually doesn't come in too often.
215
00:20:52,215 --> 00:20:54,912
Yes, just tell him I am perfect for this,
so let's go.
216
00:20:55,086 --> 00:20:57,213
- I am the best.
- The best at what?
217
00:20:57,388 --> 00:21:01,290
All of this. The cutting, the styling,
the making it silky smooth.
218
00:21:01,459 --> 00:21:03,120
I wanna know who cuts your hair.
219
00:21:03,661 --> 00:21:04,993
Oh, you like this, eh?
220
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:08,099
This is the Avalon,
straight from the Paul Mitchell book.
221
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:12,363
I haven't seen that style
since Luke married Laura.
222
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,299
Sister, are you this Laura?
223
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:22,612
You tell Paul Mitchell,
Scrappy Coco was here to see him.
224
00:21:23,717 --> 00:21:26,812
If I find out he was here...
225
00:21:26,987 --> 00:21:29,820
...or you are keeping him
hidden from me...
226
00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:31,821
...I will destroy you.
227
00:21:31,992 --> 00:21:34,222
Believe me this.
228
00:22:29,753 --> 00:22:32,415
What the hell was this, champ?
I'm not paying for that!
229
00:22:32,589 --> 00:22:34,888
This asshole cut me off,
made me swerve into you!
230
00:22:35,059 --> 00:22:37,892
With all due respect,
I was in the bicycle lane.
231
00:22:38,062 --> 00:22:40,462
You came like a madman.
Be glad nobody was hurt.
232
00:22:40,632 --> 00:22:43,931
I mean, somebody could've died.
I mean, you came...
233
00:22:45,204 --> 00:22:47,695
Okay, real mature, sir. Real mature.
234
00:22:47,873 --> 00:22:50,535
You do not want to be
throwing bicycles.
235
00:22:50,709 --> 00:22:53,041
Look, stay out of my business,
Mustafa.
236
00:22:53,212 --> 00:22:56,376
"Mustafa"? This is not my name.
Who tells you this is my name?
237
00:22:56,550 --> 00:22:58,677
Whatever.
Salami, bologna, apple sauce.
238
00:22:58,852 --> 00:22:59,876
Apple who?
239
00:23:00,053 --> 00:23:02,487
My friend, if I were you,
I would change the tone.
240
00:23:02,656 --> 00:23:03,782
Avoid the pain.
241
00:23:03,957 --> 00:23:07,291
Listen, go back to your goddamned
pretzel stand. We got it...
242
00:23:08,663 --> 00:23:10,927
- Look what I've got. It's right here.
- Please!
243
00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:12,565
- I've got it.
- Please, let me go.
244
00:23:12,733 --> 00:23:16,499
I never work at pretzel stand.
You like to insult people?
245
00:23:18,005 --> 00:23:20,304
Was that your feet?
246
00:23:20,475 --> 00:23:22,238
Yes, it's the feet. The feet uppercut.
247
00:23:23,679 --> 00:23:24,941
Here comes the double foot.
248
00:23:25,814 --> 00:23:27,281
This is good.
249
00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:30,419
Smell it, smell it, smell it.
Now take it.
250
00:23:30,587 --> 00:23:32,646
- That's for you.
- All right, let me go!
251
00:23:32,822 --> 00:23:34,847
You said you wanted pretzel?
252
00:23:37,594 --> 00:23:39,084
Okay, I'm good.
253
00:23:39,262 --> 00:23:40,696
Beautiful.
254
00:23:40,865 --> 00:23:42,332
You want some chickens?
255
00:23:42,499 --> 00:23:44,433
No, no, no. I fix for you.
256
00:23:50,741 --> 00:23:52,039
It's all b'seder.
257
00:23:52,210 --> 00:23:54,303
What are you, bionic?
258
00:23:54,479 --> 00:23:57,312
No, no, no. I only like the girls.
259
00:23:58,483 --> 00:24:00,542
Thanks, anyways.
260
00:24:05,024 --> 00:24:07,618
This is ridiculous traffic.
261
00:24:07,793 --> 00:24:11,160
Anyway, George insisted
we have the party.
262
00:24:11,330 --> 00:24:14,300
- I always get midnight shift.
- Could you keep it down, please?
263
00:24:14,468 --> 00:24:16,800
I no sleep,
I no see World Series Poker.
264
00:24:16,970 --> 00:24:19,131
Are you even watching the road?
265
00:24:19,306 --> 00:24:23,208
Be nice. He could be a terrorist.
266
00:24:23,377 --> 00:24:27,872
- Why Hamdi no get no midnight?
- Could you at least change the station?
267
00:24:33,288 --> 00:24:35,483
- Hey, that was amazing.
- Oh, yes.
268
00:24:35,657 --> 00:24:37,250
Where are you from, anyway?
269
00:24:37,426 --> 00:24:39,587
Where am I from?
270
00:24:39,762 --> 00:24:40,922
Australia.
271
00:24:41,096 --> 00:24:43,155
Really?
Because you sound Middle Eastern.
272
00:24:43,332 --> 00:24:45,129
No, no, no. Similar accents.
273
00:24:45,301 --> 00:24:48,032
- Kangaroo. You see?
- Sure.
274
00:24:50,106 --> 00:24:52,233
This is ridiculous. We're getting out.
275
00:24:52,409 --> 00:24:55,242
- Come on, dear.
- I've been working longer than Hamdi.
276
00:24:57,147 --> 00:24:59,480
- You want me to get you home?
- No, I'll grab a cab.
277
00:24:59,650 --> 00:25:01,584
You've done enough.
That was crazy.
278
00:25:01,752 --> 00:25:03,845
Whose lockzie do I have to schluck?
279
00:25:05,523 --> 00:25:07,821
Oh, you know you're boning me.
I don't know that.
280
00:25:10,295 --> 00:25:11,353
It's you.
281
00:25:13,398 --> 00:25:15,389
- What is happening?
- What's happening?
282
00:25:15,567 --> 00:25:16,898
It's bullshaklaga.
283
00:25:17,069 --> 00:25:18,366
- We have to go.
- Go where?
284
00:25:18,537 --> 00:25:20,300
- I'll run you.
- What are you doing?
285
00:25:20,472 --> 00:25:22,566
This is legal?
286
00:25:26,813 --> 00:25:30,249
Scrappy, have another kneidlach.
Come on.
287
00:25:30,416 --> 00:25:31,883
You're very nice, Mrs. Klayman.
288
00:25:32,051 --> 00:25:35,818
It reminds me of my mother's cooking
in Australia.
289
00:25:35,990 --> 00:25:39,482
Really?
It's funny, you don't sound Australian.
290
00:25:39,660 --> 00:25:42,823
Yes, no, no, no.
This is because I am half Australian...
291
00:25:42,997 --> 00:25:45,489
...half Mount Everest.
292
00:25:45,667 --> 00:25:47,965
So this is what you're hearing.
293
00:25:49,070 --> 00:25:52,198
Well, Australia,
it must be really nice there...
294
00:25:52,374 --> 00:25:54,433
...since they got rid of the apartheid.
295
00:25:54,610 --> 00:25:56,635
Oh, yes, the weather is much cooler.
296
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,511
So, Scrappy,
I understand you cut hair.
297
00:26:02,284 --> 00:26:04,514
I will be working
with Mr. Paul Mitchell...
298
00:26:04,687 --> 00:26:07,156
...as soon as I find out
where they are hiding him.
299
00:26:07,324 --> 00:26:10,157
Oh, Mom, Scrappy
doesn't have a place to stay yet.
300
00:26:10,327 --> 00:26:11,385
- Really?
- Not yet.
301
00:26:11,561 --> 00:26:13,927
Well, actually,
there's a nice one-bedroom...
302
00:26:14,097 --> 00:26:16,497
...that just opened up upstairs.
303
00:26:16,666 --> 00:26:19,261
Nice light, not huge.
304
00:26:19,437 --> 00:26:21,496
And they redid the kitchen very well.
305
00:26:22,340 --> 00:26:24,706
- This could be good.
- Could be good.
306
00:26:26,177 --> 00:26:28,009
Could be good.
307
00:26:37,623 --> 00:26:40,092
Hey, Mom,
do you know where the detergent is?
308
00:26:40,260 --> 00:26:42,421
- That's very good.
- Oh, my God!
309
00:26:42,595 --> 00:26:43,857
What? What's the matter?
310
00:26:44,064 --> 00:26:46,259
What's the matter? That's my mom.
311
00:26:46,433 --> 00:26:48,526
- It's okay, Michael.
- I know it's your mother.
312
00:26:48,701 --> 00:26:49,690
She's very beautiful.
313
00:26:49,869 --> 00:26:51,838
Michael, I haven't made sticky
in two days.
314
00:26:52,006 --> 00:26:54,998
- What do you want from me?
- Couldrt you wait till I was asleep?
315
00:26:55,176 --> 00:26:56,939
- Or dead?
- No, Michael.
316
00:26:57,111 --> 00:26:58,806
You do... What's he doing now?
317
00:26:58,979 --> 00:27:01,448
Why'd that happen?
Why'd that happen?
318
00:27:01,616 --> 00:27:03,106
It's okay. Let me talk to him.
319
00:27:03,285 --> 00:27:04,946
Oh, I can't get up.
320
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,816
No, no. You'll feel your legs again
in two hours.
321
00:27:09,491 --> 00:27:10,788
Michael.
322
00:27:10,959 --> 00:27:13,793
Come on, this is nothing
to feel bad about.
323
00:27:13,963 --> 00:27:16,056
Me sexing your mother.
324
00:27:16,232 --> 00:27:19,201
It's beautiful. It's natural.
325
00:27:19,368 --> 00:27:22,303
No, I didn't bring you home
to do it with my mother.
326
00:27:22,472 --> 00:27:25,203
Why not, huh?
You don't want her to be happy?
327
00:27:25,375 --> 00:27:27,775
Did you see her? Did you look at her?
328
00:27:27,945 --> 00:27:30,277
I don't think
I can ever look at her again.
329
00:27:30,447 --> 00:27:34,110
Michael, her face
during the big bang-boom?
330
00:27:34,284 --> 00:27:35,445
You did not see?
331
00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:37,247
She was glowing.
332
00:27:37,422 --> 00:27:39,481
Patches. What are you...?
333
00:27:39,657 --> 00:27:41,090
Michael, come on.
334
00:27:41,259 --> 00:27:43,250
They'll be plenty of time
for you and me.
335
00:27:43,428 --> 00:27:45,760
Tonight, I take you to disco, huh?
How's this?
336
00:27:45,930 --> 00:27:47,922
No, why would I wanna go
to a disco tonight?
337
00:27:49,001 --> 00:27:51,162
Michael, you should go. It'd be fun!
338
00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:53,168
You could use a little stank.
339
00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:56,399
Yes, you need your penachim
to take a swim.
340
00:27:56,575 --> 00:27:59,272
Yeah, a little chicken of the sea.
It wouldn't hurt.
341
00:27:59,446 --> 00:28:02,711
Disco, disco.
Let's do this, Michael. Yes or no?
342
00:28:02,883 --> 00:28:04,180
Come on, you get to disco.
343
00:28:04,351 --> 00:28:06,683
- All right, fine, I'll go to the disco.
- Okay.
344
00:28:06,853 --> 00:28:09,550
I do your mother one more time,
and then we go.
345
00:28:09,724 --> 00:28:11,658
- Wha...?
- Seconds already?
346
00:28:11,826 --> 00:28:13,521
Oh, yes.
347
00:28:18,966 --> 00:28:21,663
Hey. Look at this.
348
00:28:21,837 --> 00:28:25,034
This is what you need, man,
to let off a little steam, huh?
349
00:28:25,207 --> 00:28:28,904
How many times a day do you
make sticky? Two? Five? Twelve?
350
00:28:29,077 --> 00:28:32,309
How many times a day?
I've had sex once in my life.
351
00:28:32,482 --> 00:28:35,178
It was at tennis camp.
It was awful.
352
00:28:35,351 --> 00:28:38,616
You're too picky, Michael.
Maybe that's the problem.
353
00:28:38,788 --> 00:28:41,917
Every weed in the desert
is still a flower.
354
00:28:42,426 --> 00:28:45,224
Look at this. This a big one, eh?
355
00:28:45,396 --> 00:28:49,799
But look at the tits.
These will bounce nice for you.
356
00:28:49,967 --> 00:28:53,404
Your mother, she has huge poopeh.
357
00:28:53,572 --> 00:28:56,132
I mean, very wide.
358
00:28:56,308 --> 00:29:01,871
But what I see are two big, strong legs
wrapped around my head, squeezing.
359
00:29:02,047 --> 00:29:03,742
So who wants to get some
poontachen?
360
00:29:05,685 --> 00:29:09,348
- I wanna get some poontachen?
- Well, let's get some. Yes.
361
00:29:13,926 --> 00:29:15,861
It's good for you. Nice spinning.
362
00:29:18,665 --> 00:29:21,429
This is what I'm talking about.
You play this.
363
00:29:21,602 --> 00:29:23,593
- I ain't playing this corny shit.
- No, no.
364
00:29:23,770 --> 00:29:25,931
I need to set the
mood for my friend.
365
00:29:26,106 --> 00:29:28,200
Get out,
you Daisy Duke-wearing motherf...
366
00:29:38,754 --> 00:29:40,745
- Disco, disco.
- Good, good!
367
00:29:40,923 --> 00:29:42,618
- Disco, disco.
- Good, good!
368
00:29:56,139 --> 00:29:57,629
Yes, hello. Hello.
369
00:29:57,807 --> 00:30:00,709
Hey, Zohan.
370
00:30:00,878 --> 00:30:02,402
Who you looking for?
371
00:30:02,580 --> 00:30:05,378
It's okay, no one can hear me
in disco, Zohan.
372
00:30:05,549 --> 00:30:07,744
Can you believe the poontachat
in this place?
373
00:30:07,918 --> 00:30:11,480
I'm not Zohan.
My name is Scrappy Coco, my friend.
374
00:30:11,657 --> 00:30:14,626
What?
Of course you are Zohan Dvir.
375
00:30:14,793 --> 00:30:18,194
They all think you dead in Israel.
I'm not going to tell.
376
00:30:18,363 --> 00:30:21,059
Tell what?
I don't know what you're talking about.
377
00:30:21,233 --> 00:30:25,034
Zohan, it's okay.
Don't worry, I'm a huge fan.
378
00:30:25,204 --> 00:30:28,537
The way you took out
Abdullah Meda in '94.
379
00:30:28,708 --> 00:30:33,442
And when you made Melami Benazir
eat his own shit in '97.
380
00:30:33,614 --> 00:30:36,014
I can't believe I'm meeting you, man.
381
00:30:36,183 --> 00:30:38,208
So, what the fachma
are you doing here?
382
00:30:38,385 --> 00:30:39,784
Come with me.
383
00:30:40,821 --> 00:30:42,948
Look, I couldn't take
all the fighting anymore.
384
00:30:43,123 --> 00:30:45,524
- What's it all for?
- Are you crazy?
385
00:30:45,694 --> 00:30:48,128
If I could blow a terrorist
inside out like you...
386
00:30:48,296 --> 00:30:50,491
...this is all I would do.
I'd never sleep.
387
00:30:50,665 --> 00:30:53,361
- This is exaggeration.
- No, it's not.
388
00:30:53,535 --> 00:30:57,802
You made Palami Habdallah's poodle
sit on a live grenade.
389
00:30:57,973 --> 00:31:01,204
- You gotta show me how you did that.
- I don't remember. I was young.
390
00:31:01,377 --> 00:31:04,039
So tell me the truth.
Why are you in America?
391
00:31:05,247 --> 00:31:06,271
I no want to tell you.
392
00:31:06,749 --> 00:31:08,615
What? What? Come on.
393
00:31:08,785 --> 00:31:13,552
You are the best, Zohan.
Whatever you say is good.
394
00:31:17,027 --> 00:31:19,895
I want to be hairdresser.
395
00:31:20,765 --> 00:31:22,494
You a fagala?
396
00:31:22,667 --> 00:31:24,157
I can't believe it.
397
00:31:24,335 --> 00:31:28,066
A great warrior, but also a fagala
with the penachim.
398
00:31:28,239 --> 00:31:31,209
No, no, no. I like hair.
399
00:31:31,377 --> 00:31:33,971
Come on, man, I get you real job.
400
00:31:34,146 --> 00:31:36,876
You come by my shop tomorrow.
401
00:31:37,049 --> 00:31:39,244
Israeli electronics. Are you crazy?
402
00:31:39,418 --> 00:31:43,150
- Everyone will recognize me.
- No, you don't look like same Zohan.
403
00:31:43,323 --> 00:31:44,620
You have silly haircut now.
404
00:31:44,791 --> 00:31:47,055
- I have what haircut?
- What?
405
00:31:47,227 --> 00:31:49,457
- You say I look silly?
- No, no. Who said this?
406
00:31:49,629 --> 00:31:51,791
- You said this.
- No, no. Nobody say nothing.
407
00:31:53,534 --> 00:31:54,558
I don't need your job.
408
00:31:54,735 --> 00:31:58,967
I get my own job on my own
at a big salon. You will see.
409
00:32:01,242 --> 00:32:03,177
You ever cut a sister's hair before?
410
00:32:03,345 --> 00:32:07,247
Yes. Sister, brother, grandma,
grandpa, the whole family.
411
00:32:07,416 --> 00:32:08,610
I'm good at this.
412
00:32:08,784 --> 00:32:10,843
Have you ever worked
with dreads before?
413
00:32:15,158 --> 00:32:16,216
This is what you do.
414
00:32:16,392 --> 00:32:18,656
No more. This creature slayed.
415
00:32:18,828 --> 00:32:22,787
It's not a problem. Okay, he's got me.
He's got me. He's got me. Okay.
416
00:32:23,466 --> 00:32:25,992
Okay. So we blind him in the eyes.
We got you.
417
00:32:26,170 --> 00:32:28,195
And we finish him.
418
00:32:28,372 --> 00:32:32,308
You back away, I take hold of him.
Go! Go! Go out! Go now!
419
00:32:32,476 --> 00:32:34,034
Go!
420
00:32:36,046 --> 00:32:39,505
This is hair. This is hair.
421
00:32:39,684 --> 00:32:42,812
Oh, okay. The joke's on me, eh?
422
00:32:44,656 --> 00:32:48,218
A big part of our job here
is making this a fun experience.
423
00:32:48,394 --> 00:32:49,622
Of course, of course.
424
00:32:49,795 --> 00:32:53,526
For a lot of kids, this is their first cut,
and it can be very frightening.
425
00:32:53,699 --> 00:32:56,862
- I can imagine.
- I don't want a haircut.
426
00:32:57,036 --> 00:32:58,629
Get away from me.
427
00:32:58,805 --> 00:33:01,035
Let me go.
428
00:33:01,208 --> 00:33:04,575
Young man, look what I found here.
429
00:33:04,744 --> 00:33:06,837
A nice balloon.
430
00:33:07,013 --> 00:33:09,243
Do you want it? It's right here.
431
00:33:10,017 --> 00:33:11,609
You shouldn't jump around...
432
00:33:11,786 --> 00:33:14,482
...when this nice womars
holding a sharp pair of scissors.
433
00:33:14,989 --> 00:33:19,050
If you move, she could slip and
slice your jugular vein on accident.
434
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,825
There's no way to stitch the jugular.
435
00:33:21,997 --> 00:33:24,989
All of your blood will be on the floor
in four minutes.
436
00:33:25,434 --> 00:33:29,029
I've seen this. I've done this.
You don't want this.
437
00:33:40,083 --> 00:33:44,043
Well, then, at least it's a good time to
shave his neck. I would get him quick.
438
00:33:48,058 --> 00:33:50,822
When I was your age
I already killed seven men.
439
00:33:50,995 --> 00:33:53,463
Maybe you should grow up.
440
00:34:20,193 --> 00:34:22,957
I promise you you won't regret.
441
00:34:23,130 --> 00:34:25,360
And come back.
442
00:34:25,532 --> 00:34:28,593
"Fujigawa"? I don't know that brand.
It really isn't...
443
00:34:28,770 --> 00:34:31,398
It's not really Fujigawa.
It's Sony guts.
444
00:34:31,573 --> 00:34:35,509
- Wouldrt it be better with the Sony...
- Oh, no, no, no. This is what you want.
445
00:34:35,677 --> 00:34:38,772
- Four-hundred fifty.
- But the ad says "Sony," and "300."
446
00:34:38,948 --> 00:34:43,146
No, no, no. What you going to believe,
me or the ad? Four-fifty.
447
00:34:44,587 --> 00:34:47,488
Hello, Going Out of Business.
Can I help you?
448
00:34:47,656 --> 00:34:49,783
Sony, yes. Three hundred.
449
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:51,928
Come in, yes. Very good, very good.
450
00:34:54,798 --> 00:34:57,232
Hi. I represent the new owner
of this building.
451
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,994
Good for you. Want a birthday cake?
What do you want?
452
00:35:00,170 --> 00:35:01,331
Yamaha is very good.
453
00:35:01,505 --> 00:35:03,666
Did you receive our letter
regarding your rent?
454
00:35:03,841 --> 00:35:06,776
- This I don't know.
- It's being raised to 20,000 a month.
455
00:35:06,944 --> 00:35:08,275
No, no, no. This is too much.
456
00:35:08,446 --> 00:35:10,471
Eighty-five hundred
is all we'll give you.
457
00:35:10,648 --> 00:35:13,709
- This isn't negotiable. We can get...
- Ten thousand, that's all.
458
00:35:13,885 --> 00:35:15,045
We both go home happy.
459
00:35:15,220 --> 00:35:17,916
- I'm sorry. We can't settle for less.
- Okay, no deal.
460
00:35:18,090 --> 00:35:19,887
You come back when you
want to deal.
461
00:35:20,058 --> 00:35:21,650
- Sir, you don't understand.
- Go.
462
00:35:21,827 --> 00:35:25,229
What you still here for? You like me?
I have girlfriend. Go.
463
00:35:25,398 --> 00:35:27,525
Thank you very much.
464
00:35:30,770 --> 00:35:34,228
Hey, look who's here.
465
00:35:34,407 --> 00:35:35,670
Come on, not so loud.
466
00:35:35,843 --> 00:35:39,370
Don't worry, Zohan.
I tell you, they don't recognize you.
467
00:35:39,546 --> 00:35:43,448
Yosi. This is good man.
This Chocolat� Coco.
468
00:35:43,617 --> 00:35:46,314
- Scrappy Coco.
- Scrappy Coco.
469
00:35:46,488 --> 00:35:47,580
Cooking Who-co?
470
00:35:48,456 --> 00:35:49,718
Yes, yes.
471
00:35:49,891 --> 00:35:51,415
So you're going out of business?
472
00:35:51,593 --> 00:35:54,756
No, no, no, no. Is just a sign.
Is good for business.
473
00:35:55,363 --> 00:35:59,494
Yeah, so you look me up, man.
That's cool.
474
00:35:59,669 --> 00:36:02,035
I come for job.
475
00:36:03,339 --> 00:36:06,604
Job. So you not big hairstyle?
476
00:36:08,178 --> 00:36:13,707
It's not really happening for me
so far.
477
00:36:13,884 --> 00:36:16,717
So I am here. So let's go.
478
00:36:19,357 --> 00:36:21,621
No. No job.
479
00:36:21,793 --> 00:36:23,886
What do you mean?
You tell me to come here.
480
00:36:24,062 --> 00:36:27,395
I can no let you do this.
You want to be hair homo.
481
00:36:27,565 --> 00:36:30,295
No, so I do this for now.
It's all yofi tofi.
482
00:36:30,469 --> 00:36:32,460
Is no now.
483
00:36:33,072 --> 00:36:38,806
Once you start in electronics store,
you never get out.
484
00:36:40,446 --> 00:36:42,608
Look at Ephraim. You see?
485
00:36:42,782 --> 00:36:45,046
I don't see nothing wrong with that.
It's perfect.
486
00:36:45,218 --> 00:36:47,379
Ephraim came to America...
487
00:36:47,921 --> 00:36:51,322
...to be racing car driver.
488
00:36:52,158 --> 00:36:54,059
But he let slip away.
489
00:36:54,228 --> 00:36:57,220
I can hear it. Look. Check your ear.
490
00:36:57,398 --> 00:37:02,563
Pinchas wanted to be
the next Bill Cosby.
491
00:37:02,737 --> 00:37:06,105
No. Is resistant, no proof.
You don't understand?
492
00:37:06,808 --> 00:37:10,744
But the store kept pulling him back.
493
00:37:10,912 --> 00:37:12,504
Maybe you swimming with the watch.
494
00:37:12,681 --> 00:37:14,239
- I'm not swimming...
- Is resistant.
495
00:37:15,818 --> 00:37:20,585
Yosi wanted to be a hand model.
496
00:37:20,757 --> 00:37:23,692
What, you don't like this? Look at this.
This is most beautiful.
497
00:37:23,860 --> 00:37:25,487
But he got too comfortable here.
498
00:37:25,661 --> 00:37:28,688
Press this button, it's free HBO.
499
00:37:29,233 --> 00:37:34,068
The electronics store
is a dream killer.
500
00:37:35,172 --> 00:37:39,837
And I won't let the Zohan
kill his dream.
501
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:46,216
You are a real mensch, Oori.
502
00:37:46,384 --> 00:37:49,752
You the mensch.
503
00:37:49,922 --> 00:37:50,980
Come.
504
00:37:51,157 --> 00:37:52,215
What? What's this?
505
00:37:52,391 --> 00:37:56,157
You may not go for this,
but this place cross the street...
506
00:37:56,328 --> 00:37:58,353
- Yes?
- They maybe take you.
507
00:37:58,964 --> 00:38:02,366
- Is good place?
- No, is dump, but they take you.
508
00:38:02,536 --> 00:38:04,663
Is on Palestinian side of street.
509
00:38:04,838 --> 00:38:06,135
Palestinian?
510
00:38:06,306 --> 00:38:09,639
No, no, no.
Look, nobody kill you there.
511
00:38:09,810 --> 00:38:11,073
Here nobody care.
512
00:38:11,245 --> 00:38:13,304
First off, no one kill me anywhere.
513
00:38:14,015 --> 00:38:16,279
But Palestinian, no.
514
00:38:16,450 --> 00:38:18,543
I've done enough
to my parents already.
515
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,017
I just want job for the Zohan.
516
00:38:21,189 --> 00:38:23,181
And it kills me
the way Phantom bastard...
517
00:38:23,358 --> 00:38:26,225
...getting his buttochim kissed
in Palestine now.
518
00:38:26,395 --> 00:38:28,727
Buttochim kissed? What's this?
519
00:38:29,164 --> 00:38:30,426
He have business.
520
00:38:30,599 --> 00:38:32,499
He buy wives.
521
00:38:33,803 --> 00:38:35,168
Him?
522
00:38:35,338 --> 00:38:38,774
They say his ugly face everywhere.
523
00:38:39,342 --> 00:38:42,402
Everyone is running
To Phantom's Chewy Muchentuchen
524
00:38:42,545 --> 00:38:45,947
For the food the heroes eat
525
00:38:46,317 --> 00:38:49,377
Kubeh, sambouesk,
Delicious muchentuchen
526
00:38:49,553 --> 00:38:51,646
You never know who you'll meet
527
00:38:51,822 --> 00:38:55,623
You are going to get spoiled.
528
00:39:01,733 --> 00:39:04,293
Phantom Muchentuchen!
529
00:39:04,469 --> 00:39:05,993
Oh, yeah!
530
00:39:06,171 --> 00:39:08,265
This month,
order Muchentuchen Happy Lunch...
531
00:39:08,441 --> 00:39:11,569
... and get action figures from
Phantom Presents: Death to Zohan.
532
00:39:15,214 --> 00:39:17,045
Unbelievable.
533
00:39:17,216 --> 00:39:22,245
This animal gets to live his dream.
But, me, l...
534
00:39:22,789 --> 00:39:26,953
I can no work Palestinian, no.
It's like... I can't do this.
535
00:39:27,127 --> 00:39:28,492
Yes, you can.
536
00:39:28,662 --> 00:39:32,599
Is your dream to cut hair.
You want fight, or you want hair?
537
00:39:32,767 --> 00:39:35,998
I want hair. But I'm scared.
538
00:39:36,170 --> 00:39:38,968
Is America.
You can do anything here.
539
00:39:39,140 --> 00:39:42,736
You never done something
people thought was impossible?
540
00:39:45,214 --> 00:39:48,149
So you don't want to talk, huh?
I'll make you talk.
541
00:40:07,939 --> 00:40:09,031
I can do this.
542
00:40:21,153 --> 00:40:22,643
Disco, disco, good, good.
543
00:40:22,821 --> 00:40:24,516
Disco, disco, good, good.
544
00:40:24,691 --> 00:40:26,420
Disco, disco, good, good.
545
00:40:26,592 --> 00:40:28,059
Disco, disco, good, good.
546
00:40:28,227 --> 00:40:29,990
Disco, disco, good, good.
547
00:40:31,864 --> 00:40:34,662
So you have never cut hair before.
548
00:40:34,834 --> 00:40:37,702
I have cut my own hair
and several dogs.
549
00:40:38,372 --> 00:40:42,468
I have the Paul Mitchell book,
I have the stamina, the desire...
550
00:40:42,643 --> 00:40:45,009
But you have no training
or experience.
551
00:40:45,179 --> 00:40:49,241
Would you hire someone
with experience in something else?
552
00:40:49,718 --> 00:40:50,742
In what?
553
00:40:51,119 --> 00:40:53,349
Can anyone here do this?
554
00:41:00,529 --> 00:41:03,692
Okay. I have never seen that.
555
00:41:03,866 --> 00:41:06,664
That is very nice,
but that is not going to help me.
556
00:41:06,836 --> 00:41:09,305
No hands.
557
00:41:09,473 --> 00:41:10,997
Besides, I have no openings.
558
00:41:11,174 --> 00:41:12,903
If anything, I need to scale back...
559
00:41:13,076 --> 00:41:15,567
...since they just raised my rent
through the roof.
560
00:41:15,746 --> 00:41:20,308
Out of nowhere, some guy with a tie
comes in and tells me I need to pay.
561
00:41:20,485 --> 00:41:21,679
Stop it!
562
00:41:23,087 --> 00:41:25,954
I only wish to learn.
563
00:41:26,124 --> 00:41:28,456
I will do whatever it takes.
564
00:41:31,295 --> 00:41:34,857
Fine. You can sweep up hair
a few shifts a week.
565
00:41:35,034 --> 00:41:37,025
- You won't be...
- No pay.
566
00:41:37,202 --> 00:41:40,365
No, no, no.
But then, I will become stylist, yes?
567
00:41:40,973 --> 00:41:42,167
That could be a while.
568
00:41:42,341 --> 00:41:44,742
I will wait turn. You will see.
569
00:41:44,911 --> 00:41:48,142
I will get nighttime job for money.
570
00:41:48,314 --> 00:41:50,942
Soon the whole world
will be silky smooth.
571
00:42:01,262 --> 00:42:02,286
Zohan.
572
00:42:02,463 --> 00:42:05,058
- Carmen Electra has the best tits now.
- Oh, please.
573
00:42:05,233 --> 00:42:08,259
Oh, my God.
I wonder how much she paid for them.
574
00:42:09,571 --> 00:42:11,801
They're so perky.
575
00:42:11,973 --> 00:42:14,942
You know, leave it to her
to buy the best tits.
576
00:42:15,110 --> 00:42:17,545
It's always first class with that one.
577
00:42:17,713 --> 00:42:20,876
You know you don't have to catch
every piece of hair as it falls.
578
00:42:21,050 --> 00:42:25,419
Yes, I do. You deserve a perfect floor.
One single hair is unacceptable.
579
00:42:25,588 --> 00:42:26,612
As you were.
580
00:42:40,405 --> 00:42:42,168
Yes. I got this.
581
00:42:43,541 --> 00:42:45,907
"Did you see
the new Kate Hudson movie?
582
00:42:46,077 --> 00:42:49,137
I think she is even more vivacious
than her mother."
583
00:42:49,314 --> 00:42:53,479
Scrappeleh, that's wonderful.
Now, let's practice on Michael.
584
00:42:53,652 --> 00:42:56,780
Michael!
Could you come in here, please?
585
00:42:57,556 --> 00:42:58,853
What? What is...?
586
00:42:59,024 --> 00:43:01,960
Oh, Scrappy needs to practice
small-talking.
587
00:43:02,129 --> 00:43:05,496
Can we do this another time? I have
a shot at keeping my food down.
588
00:43:05,665 --> 00:43:07,223
Michael, I want to practice now.
589
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,335
I'm afraid I'm terrible at this.
Why won't you help me?
590
00:43:10,504 --> 00:43:15,499
Oh, honey.
You are good at everything you do.
591
00:43:39,903 --> 00:43:41,598
- Got it.
- Thanks.
592
00:43:41,771 --> 00:43:43,966
So you're making her silky smooth,
huh, Claude?
593
00:43:44,140 --> 00:43:47,372
- Framing her face?
- Yeah, Scrappy. I'm framing her face.
594
00:43:47,545 --> 00:43:48,705
This is smart.
595
00:43:48,879 --> 00:43:52,474
A nice layered style
with the soft bangs...
596
00:43:52,650 --> 00:43:54,743
...is good for a bigger woman
like this.
597
00:43:54,919 --> 00:43:57,115
- Coco.
- Takes the eyes off the moon face...
598
00:43:57,289 --> 00:43:59,052
...and brings it toward the titzim.
599
00:43:59,224 --> 00:44:01,055
Coco.
600
00:44:01,226 --> 00:44:02,420
I need to speak to you.
601
00:44:03,929 --> 00:44:05,191
In private.
602
00:44:06,331 --> 00:44:08,857
Private. A secret?
603
00:44:09,035 --> 00:44:11,435
They will never get it out of me,
I promise you.
604
00:44:11,604 --> 00:44:14,801
Coco, Claude is trying to work.
605
00:44:14,974 --> 00:44:16,601
Yes. He's very good.
606
00:44:16,776 --> 00:44:19,644
So I am ready to cut hair today.
So let's go, let's get it on.
607
00:44:19,813 --> 00:44:21,713
No. Let's not go.
608
00:44:21,882 --> 00:44:22,906
But I am the best.
609
00:44:23,083 --> 00:44:25,051
Don't tell me you're the best.
610
00:44:25,219 --> 00:44:27,983
- I have the desire, the stamina.
- You've been here two days.
611
00:44:28,155 --> 00:44:29,884
I run this place for five years.
612
00:44:30,058 --> 00:44:32,822
I think I know when you are ready
to cut hair.
613
00:44:32,994 --> 00:44:35,656
Okay, Jeez! Get a room, you two.
614
00:44:35,830 --> 00:44:37,855
No, no, no.
615
00:44:38,032 --> 00:44:40,967
I do not touch this
with your penachim.
616
00:44:42,404 --> 00:44:44,099
Out of respect for the working.
617
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,534
No, you don't eat where you shit.
618
00:44:47,710 --> 00:44:51,168
Or shit where you eat.
Whatever the...
619
00:44:51,347 --> 00:44:53,009
The smell is bad.
620
00:44:56,052 --> 00:44:57,314
This is called a comb.
621
00:44:59,322 --> 00:45:02,291
- With the fingers?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.
622
00:45:03,828 --> 00:45:07,229
- Scrappy.
- I'm sorry. Here, I take your leg up.
623
00:45:07,398 --> 00:45:09,093
I'm sorry about this. I'm sorry.
624
00:45:09,267 --> 00:45:11,326
- Okay. All right.
- I apologize.
625
00:45:11,502 --> 00:45:13,936
- Take him where he wants to go.
- Thank you. Okay.
626
00:45:14,105 --> 00:45:15,630
- Good luck.
- It will be fine.
627
00:45:15,807 --> 00:45:19,334
- Your limousine has arrived, sir.
- You're observant, Tyler.
628
00:45:20,112 --> 00:45:21,909
Thank you, Big Mac.
629
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:25,983
I am really late for a hotel opening
downtown. The Walbridge Hotel.
630
00:45:26,152 --> 00:45:29,315
I understand, sir. I know the
neighborhoods inside and backwards.
631
00:45:29,489 --> 00:45:31,821
- We will not let them stop us.
- What?
632
00:45:37,364 --> 00:45:38,729
I'm not in much of a hurry.
633
00:45:42,336 --> 00:45:44,463
Oh, no.
634
00:45:47,741 --> 00:45:49,232
You want some coffee back there?
635
00:45:49,411 --> 00:45:50,810
No!
636
00:45:51,313 --> 00:45:52,507
I will lose them.
637
00:45:53,915 --> 00:45:56,475
Nobody is following us.
638
00:46:02,224 --> 00:46:03,987
Oh, shit!
639
00:46:17,374 --> 00:46:19,239
Have a good time, sir.
640
00:46:23,281 --> 00:46:26,273
Debbie, you did a good job.
641
00:46:26,451 --> 00:46:29,818
You look very bangable,
Mrs. Rosen.
642
00:46:30,655 --> 00:46:33,090
Mrs. Paulson, I must tell you...
643
00:46:33,258 --> 00:46:37,285
...when you first came in,
you looked hideous.
644
00:46:37,463 --> 00:46:38,794
There was nothing attractive.
645
00:46:38,964 --> 00:46:43,993
But now, I must say,
my schtitzel, it's about to burst.
646
00:46:44,170 --> 00:46:46,866
- It could break these any...
- What are you doing?
647
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,804
We are talking shop.
648
00:46:49,976 --> 00:46:52,069
No. No.
649
00:46:52,812 --> 00:46:54,575
- Look, Coco...
- What?
650
00:46:54,748 --> 00:46:56,649
You need to calm down now, okay?
651
00:46:56,817 --> 00:46:59,615
I don't think these customers
like the way you talk shop.
652
00:46:59,787 --> 00:47:00,913
Nobody say this.
653
00:47:01,088 --> 00:47:06,391
Coco, remember,
respect for the workplace.
654
00:47:08,196 --> 00:47:10,130
I have betrayed my salon.
655
00:47:14,436 --> 00:47:15,733
He's trying to kill himself.
656
00:47:15,904 --> 00:47:17,235
- Scrappy.
- I deserve this.
657
00:47:17,407 --> 00:47:20,604
No, no. Just... Just...
658
00:47:21,177 --> 00:47:23,509
Easy on the ladies.
659
00:47:24,113 --> 00:47:26,274
I didn't mind.
660
00:47:31,422 --> 00:47:33,287
Take care, Mrs. Paulson.
661
00:47:34,258 --> 00:47:36,283
She did not mind.
662
00:47:39,196 --> 00:47:42,325
Let me disinfect the scissors...
663
00:47:43,067 --> 00:47:47,766
...so someone else
can make someone else silky smooth.
664
00:47:48,807 --> 00:47:50,638
I'll just clean up.
665
00:47:55,714 --> 00:47:57,773
Rafaela's Salon.
666
00:47:57,950 --> 00:47:59,884
What? No.
667
00:48:02,956 --> 00:48:04,184
Debbie, she quit.
668
00:48:04,958 --> 00:48:06,721
- What?
- Sorry.
669
00:48:07,194 --> 00:48:09,355
Claude, did you know about this?
670
00:48:09,529 --> 00:48:10,791
I should have told you.
671
00:48:10,964 --> 00:48:14,332
She's been looking for a new job
since those rent guys came around.
672
00:48:14,502 --> 00:48:16,868
Then why you no say nothing,
little bitch?
673
00:48:18,773 --> 00:48:22,209
Don't worry,
I'm not giving up on this place.
674
00:48:22,376 --> 00:48:25,642
You're a good guy, habibi.
I just... I don't know what to do.
675
00:48:30,786 --> 00:48:32,310
So let's go.
676
00:48:32,488 --> 00:48:35,515
Scrappy, I have enough problems
right now.
677
00:48:38,728 --> 00:48:41,094
I not the problem. I the solution. I fix.
678
00:48:41,264 --> 00:48:43,425
But if you screw up...
679
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:46,000
I can't afford a screwup right now.
680
00:48:46,169 --> 00:48:49,298
No, no, no. I no screw up.
I am the best for the job.
681
00:48:49,473 --> 00:48:52,237
Yeah, but you push and push.
"When is my turn"?
682
00:48:52,409 --> 00:48:54,001
I have to care about salon.
683
00:48:54,178 --> 00:48:55,509
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
684
00:48:55,679 --> 00:49:00,276
You care about you. And don't fight
in front of the customer.
685
00:49:03,021 --> 00:49:07,651
Mrs. Skitzer,
I am afraid our stylist is out today.
686
00:49:07,826 --> 00:49:10,955
Would you care to wait for Claude?
687
00:49:12,365 --> 00:49:13,423
Does he do hair?
688
00:49:16,269 --> 00:49:19,568
He's not a regular.
689
00:49:19,739 --> 00:49:21,037
Well, that's fine.
690
00:49:23,410 --> 00:49:28,712
She say...
I mean, only if it's okay with Dalia.
691
00:49:31,051 --> 00:49:32,314
Okay.
692
00:49:33,154 --> 00:49:38,285
You will not regret this decision.
693
00:49:41,796 --> 00:49:44,493
Mrs. Skitzer, let's cut your hair.
694
00:49:45,067 --> 00:49:48,662
Just lay back, Mrs. Skitzer.
I'll take care of everything.
695
00:49:49,138 --> 00:49:51,504
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
696
00:49:51,674 --> 00:49:54,473
Sexy woman like you
deserves to be pampered.
697
00:49:54,644 --> 00:49:56,669
Me, sexy? Sure.
698
00:49:56,846 --> 00:49:57,870
Don't be humble.
699
00:49:58,048 --> 00:50:03,008
You've got the ass and tits
of a schoolgirl and you know it.
700
00:50:03,186 --> 00:50:06,384
And everyone else knows this too,
believe me.
701
00:50:06,557 --> 00:50:08,115
Yes.
702
00:50:08,292 --> 00:50:10,192
Let me get your earring off.
703
00:51:59,647 --> 00:52:00,909
I love it.
704
00:52:01,082 --> 00:52:04,950
Of course you do.
I make you silky smooth. I tell you this.
705
00:52:05,519 --> 00:52:09,388
All right, Scrappy.
You can cut Debbie's clients today.
706
00:52:09,558 --> 00:52:12,152
If they want you.
707
00:52:16,832 --> 00:52:17,856
Thank you.
708
00:52:18,033 --> 00:52:21,595
I'll get to you all soon as I'm
all the way done with Mrs. Skitzer.
709
00:52:22,905 --> 00:52:24,395
That all you got, Mrs. Skitzer?
710
00:52:24,574 --> 00:52:28,738
Come on, baby. Go, baby. Yes. Yes.
711
00:52:48,133 --> 00:52:49,327
So who's next?
712
00:53:24,372 --> 00:53:26,864
Come on, Scrappy!
713
00:53:28,644 --> 00:53:31,078
Thank you, dear.
714
00:53:31,580 --> 00:53:35,607
- It's a lot of speakers.
- Yes. Yes.
715
00:53:39,289 --> 00:53:41,223
It's orgasmic.
716
00:53:41,391 --> 00:53:43,086
Oh, my God.
717
00:53:44,294 --> 00:53:46,262
Oh, yes!
718
00:54:00,712 --> 00:54:03,442
Grab it, Scrappy!
719
00:54:11,324 --> 00:54:13,918
For you. Yes.
720
00:54:19,131 --> 00:54:21,464
I give this to you.
721
00:54:29,309 --> 00:54:32,802
- No. I am sorry, Mr. Paul Mitchell.
- Hear me out, Scrappy, please.
722
00:54:32,981 --> 00:54:36,712
I'll give you stock options.
I'll name a shampoo after you.
723
00:54:36,885 --> 00:54:41,379
No, my loyalty is to here.
I will destroy you.
724
00:54:44,660 --> 00:54:47,925
I heard about this place
from Joanne.
725
00:54:48,097 --> 00:54:50,429
You have to ask for Scrappy.
726
00:54:50,599 --> 00:54:53,591
Yes, is the primary
cardholder present?
727
00:54:53,769 --> 00:54:54,794
Excuse me?
728
00:54:54,971 --> 00:54:57,701
Hello, I am calling
from Spiegel catalogue.
729
00:54:57,874 --> 00:55:00,308
Are you between the ages
of 18 and 39?
730
00:55:00,477 --> 00:55:02,274
We're trying to talk here.
731
00:55:02,445 --> 00:55:04,811
Have you ordered from catalogue
in past six months?
732
00:55:04,981 --> 00:55:06,973
Could you get off the phone
while you drive?
733
00:55:07,151 --> 00:55:09,949
Hey, what's the matter?
I trying to make a living, do my job.
734
00:55:10,121 --> 00:55:11,179
This is your job.
735
00:55:11,355 --> 00:55:12,447
This is job also.
736
00:55:12,623 --> 00:55:13,647
This is not Iraq.
737
00:55:13,824 --> 00:55:16,054
I am Palestine, I'm not Iraq.
738
00:55:16,227 --> 00:55:17,559
And you're not getting a tip.
739
00:55:17,729 --> 00:55:19,458
And you are a stupid cow.
740
00:55:19,631 --> 00:55:20,655
Jeez.
741
00:55:20,832 --> 00:55:23,392
- And we're done. Okay, you, skedaddle.
- Thanks so much.
742
00:55:23,568 --> 00:55:25,968
- I'll see you later.
- All right.
743
00:55:26,571 --> 00:55:28,506
I like this, the red hair.
744
00:55:28,675 --> 00:55:31,940
I bet she has a pumpkin patch
down below, yes?
745
00:55:32,111 --> 00:55:33,169
I don't know.
746
00:55:33,346 --> 00:55:35,940
- Did you tap her tuchus?
- No.
747
00:55:36,115 --> 00:55:39,141
Why don't you go after
the snatchacheem in this place?
748
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:41,413
They all want you, believe me.
749
00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:43,556
Scrappy, I wouldn't be so sure.
750
00:55:43,724 --> 00:55:46,056
I'm telling you,
you're not picking up the signs.
751
00:55:46,727 --> 00:55:49,389
Come with me.
I'll show you a technique. It's beautiful.
752
00:55:49,563 --> 00:55:53,967
Hello, Mrs. Haynes. How are you?
You want the cut and color today?
753
00:55:54,135 --> 00:55:55,500
Yes, please. Thanks.
754
00:55:56,504 --> 00:55:57,528
Watch.
755
00:56:01,176 --> 00:56:04,237
You see? She's going with it.
It's good.
756
00:56:04,413 --> 00:56:05,573
Yep.
757
00:56:06,082 --> 00:56:08,880
- She has a free shoulder. Come join.
- I'm good.
758
00:56:10,052 --> 00:56:12,486
Mrs. Haynes,
you're getting cold here.
759
00:56:12,655 --> 00:56:15,090
Claude, come. Keep her warm.
760
00:56:15,258 --> 00:56:16,919
Go ahead. Yes.
761
00:56:17,627 --> 00:56:22,223
And gently move.
Gently move the shoulder.
762
00:56:22,399 --> 00:56:25,198
All you want to do is let her know
you're here for her.
763
00:56:24,870 --> 00:56:27,930
Now look away
like you're not even doing it.
764
00:56:28,106 --> 00:56:30,040
We're not doing this.
765
00:56:30,208 --> 00:56:31,505
- Same rhythm.
- Okay.
766
00:56:31,676 --> 00:56:34,042
Push. Push. Push.
767
00:56:35,848 --> 00:56:40,512
Oh, you're pushing harder.
It's starting to feel good on my end.
768
00:56:40,686 --> 00:56:44,349
I am trying to make money
to start my own business, huh.
769
00:56:44,524 --> 00:56:47,085
Would you say you read Spiegel
once a month, twice...
770
00:56:47,261 --> 00:56:49,126
Would you just get us
to the hair salon?
771
00:56:49,296 --> 00:56:50,854
We're gonna miss our appointment.
772
00:56:51,031 --> 00:56:54,626
I curse you, and I curse your hair.
773
00:56:54,801 --> 00:56:58,169
What is big deal
about this hair place anyway?
774
00:57:00,742 --> 00:57:02,266
They get worse every year.
775
00:57:09,285 --> 00:57:14,587
Okay, we'll take them to the truck.
We'll just talk to them. But we'll find a...
776
00:57:17,593 --> 00:57:21,223
Did you throw this shoe at me,
my friend?
777
00:57:22,399 --> 00:57:23,730
No?
778
00:57:23,900 --> 00:57:26,460
Sure looks like it was you.
779
00:57:31,042 --> 00:57:33,306
Then who threw it?
780
00:57:36,647 --> 00:57:40,845
Okay. You're lucky I'm in good mood.
I'll let you off the hook.
781
00:57:42,321 --> 00:57:45,085
Nobody spits on me.
782
00:57:49,461 --> 00:57:52,362
Thank you for the goat, my friend.
783
00:57:52,531 --> 00:57:53,556
Yes.
784
00:57:54,567 --> 00:57:56,933
Goat?
785
00:57:57,103 --> 00:57:59,071
Goat.
786
00:57:59,238 --> 00:58:01,763
Goat!
787
00:58:01,941 --> 00:58:04,410
Goat!
788
00:58:05,245 --> 00:58:07,736
Goat.
789
00:58:07,915 --> 00:58:10,907
I said, "Can we have the receipt?"
790
00:58:12,086 --> 00:58:14,646
Yes. Die in hell.
791
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:19,588
Welcome.
792
00:58:23,198 --> 00:58:26,395
We'll color your hair Bling-Bling
Blond. This is what you need.
793
00:58:26,568 --> 00:58:28,560
You know what else they go for?
794
00:58:28,738 --> 00:58:32,572
The... I don't know what you have,
but mine is the biggest.
795
00:58:32,742 --> 00:58:35,267
This...
It does not get bigger than this.
796
00:58:35,444 --> 00:58:38,676
It's enormous. Scary. I mean:
797
00:58:38,849 --> 00:58:40,009
What?
798
00:58:40,450 --> 00:58:43,044
I have the biggest. It's the biggest.
799
00:58:43,220 --> 00:58:44,881
Take a look at this.
800
00:58:45,055 --> 00:58:47,046
Look.
801
00:58:49,794 --> 00:58:52,024
- It's not that big.
- It's not that...?
802
00:58:52,196 --> 00:58:53,356
No, no, no. The bush.
803
00:58:53,965 --> 00:58:55,626
The bush is the biggest.
804
00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:58,291
And the girls like this
because it's cushion.
805
00:58:59,804 --> 00:59:04,139
It is no bullshaklaga. He is the one.
I never forget a face.
806
00:59:04,309 --> 00:59:05,970
So, what do you want I do?
807
00:59:06,512 --> 00:59:08,412
Wait. I conference you.
808
00:59:10,482 --> 00:59:11,507
Hello?
809
00:59:11,685 --> 00:59:14,711
Nasi, emergency meeting.
You're on with Hamdi as well.
810
00:59:14,888 --> 00:59:16,822
- Hello, Nasi.
- Hello, Hamdi.
811
00:59:16,990 --> 00:59:19,390
Can you believe
how much they pay Delgado?
812
00:59:19,559 --> 00:59:22,791
Yes. Why Mets do this?
813
00:59:23,564 --> 00:59:26,590
This is serious. We meet!
814
00:59:26,767 --> 00:59:29,429
I explain why is emergency.
815
00:59:29,603 --> 00:59:32,401
This is not just man
who take my goat.
816
00:59:34,810 --> 00:59:37,904
- Zohan Dvir.
- Yes.
817
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:40,207
Everyone think Phantom kill him.
818
00:59:40,382 --> 00:59:41,747
Phantom not kill him.
819
00:59:41,917 --> 00:59:45,547
We will capture,
then make trade with Israel.
820
00:59:45,722 --> 00:59:47,883
We will be heroes.
821
00:59:48,057 --> 00:59:51,754
But, Salim, we are not Jihadim. We
don't know for sure that this is him.
822
00:59:51,928 --> 00:59:54,829
Let's call Hamas, Hezbollah.
Let them handle this.
823
00:59:54,997 --> 00:59:57,023
- Leave it to the pros.
- No.
824
00:59:57,201 --> 00:59:58,600
Hezbollah shmezbollah.
825
00:59:58,769 --> 01:00:02,637
Hezbollah will take all the credit.
This is our shot.
826
01:00:02,806 --> 01:00:04,740
Why not let Phantom capture him?
827
01:00:04,908 --> 01:00:08,106
Screw Phantom. He hero already.
828
01:00:08,613 --> 01:00:11,980
Where's my chain
of muchentuchen restaurants?
829
01:00:13,418 --> 01:00:16,148
Salim, don't make this
about yourself.
830
01:00:16,321 --> 01:00:17,788
This is about me.
831
01:00:17,956 --> 01:00:19,584
And about him.
832
01:00:19,759 --> 01:00:21,727
And about my goat!
833
01:00:22,461 --> 01:00:25,021
Come on, let's go!
834
01:00:25,197 --> 01:00:28,598
This is nice,
the walking inside the outside.
835
01:00:28,768 --> 01:00:32,330
The park, the people,
the horses, the kid.
836
01:00:32,506 --> 01:00:34,337
Well, you're always downtown.
837
01:00:34,508 --> 01:00:36,601
You should see
a little more of New York.
838
01:00:36,777 --> 01:00:38,745
Yes, yes, this is good.
839
01:00:38,912 --> 01:00:40,471
The talking is good...
840
01:00:40,648 --> 01:00:43,344
...to get to know each other
before the bang-boom. I like.
841
01:00:43,518 --> 01:00:47,386
Oh, no, no, no.
There will be no bang-booming.
842
01:00:47,555 --> 01:00:50,922
I just wanted to thank you
for saving my business.
843
01:00:51,092 --> 01:00:54,085
- This isn't a date.
- No, no, no.
844
01:00:54,263 --> 01:00:57,460
I feel you have helped me so much...
845
01:00:57,633 --> 01:00:59,897
The right thing to do
is to tap you so hard...
846
01:01:00,068 --> 01:01:03,266
...my schtitzel will come out
your poopech. That's what I think.
847
01:01:03,439 --> 01:01:06,465
Look, why don't we
just enjoy the park?
848
01:01:06,643 --> 01:01:08,804
No, no, no. This is what we do.
849
01:01:10,346 --> 01:01:12,780
Hey, look, softball.
850
01:01:12,949 --> 01:01:15,885
- You like softball?
- Of course, I love softball.
851
01:01:16,053 --> 01:01:19,853
What is softball? Teach me how to.
852
01:01:20,024 --> 01:01:22,618
I learned softball
when I came to the States.
853
01:01:22,793 --> 01:01:25,354
When you're Arab, it helps to fit in.
854
01:01:25,530 --> 01:01:27,464
Yeah, how long you move here ago?
855
01:01:27,632 --> 01:01:29,566
Just a few years ago.
856
01:01:29,734 --> 01:01:34,171
I couldn't take it there anymore.
All the hate, on both sides.
857
01:01:34,339 --> 01:01:36,399
Yes, especially yours.
858
01:01:36,576 --> 01:01:39,477
Why you say this? You don't know.
859
01:01:39,645 --> 01:01:41,875
No, no, I don't. I read this.
860
01:01:42,048 --> 01:01:46,417
The Australian-Tibet media
is very biased.
861
01:01:46,586 --> 01:01:50,148
Look, both sides crazy.
862
01:01:50,324 --> 01:01:51,689
My own family...
863
01:01:52,893 --> 01:01:54,417
My brother...
864
01:01:54,595 --> 01:02:00,000
...if he knew I work cross street
from Israelis, he would lose it.
865
01:02:00,168 --> 01:02:03,763
- Really?
- You have the hardcores on both sides.
866
01:02:03,938 --> 01:02:06,372
They just want to fight and fight.
867
01:02:06,541 --> 01:02:09,739
Nobody will win this way.
It has to stop.
868
01:02:11,013 --> 01:02:14,278
When will it end, eh? Yes.
869
01:02:16,018 --> 01:02:19,852
Okay, so you must be thirsty, no?
870
01:02:20,356 --> 01:02:22,291
Here.
871
01:02:22,459 --> 01:02:24,450
Where you get this?
872
01:02:24,628 --> 01:02:27,062
This? From specialty shop
on West Side.
873
01:02:27,230 --> 01:02:30,757
This Middle Eastern drink.
You know this? Fizzy Bubblech?
874
01:02:30,934 --> 01:02:34,098
No, no, no. It looks pretty good.
875
01:02:34,272 --> 01:02:37,139
Oh, try, try. It's very good.
Try, have a sip.
876
01:02:41,379 --> 01:02:42,471
It's not for me.
877
01:02:42,647 --> 01:02:44,548
No? Really?
878
01:02:48,153 --> 01:02:50,451
This is his shop.
879
01:02:50,622 --> 01:02:52,988
Here is photo for compare.
880
01:02:53,158 --> 01:02:55,719
For how long this take?
I close the newsstand.
881
01:02:57,096 --> 01:03:00,657
Make sure you ask him
if he ever hit by shoe.
882
01:03:00,833 --> 01:03:05,999
And about the prize goat
that can fetch a bowl of onion soup.
883
01:03:06,607 --> 01:03:10,441
Look in his eyes when you
ask him this, for they will be suffering.
884
01:03:10,611 --> 01:03:12,841
- You know, I just got haircut.
- Go.
885
01:03:14,281 --> 01:03:19,083
Look at this. I feel like Hugh Hefner
with all you little bunnies around here.
886
01:03:22,023 --> 01:03:26,119
Okay, okay,
let's see who is going next.
887
01:03:27,362 --> 01:03:31,459
"Jorge Posada," where are you?
888
01:03:31,634 --> 01:03:32,794
That's me.
889
01:03:34,403 --> 01:03:37,201
Okay, good-looking guy,
you take a seat there. You're next.
890
01:03:37,873 --> 01:03:40,342
You know, you look like
you already just got haircut.
891
01:03:41,378 --> 01:03:43,437
No, no.
892
01:03:43,613 --> 01:03:47,481
So I guessing you're looking for
something in the silky smooth area?
893
01:03:47,651 --> 01:03:50,951
- Well...
- Because I see you have nice curls.
894
01:03:51,122 --> 01:03:53,716
You don't want to
cut into those curls.
895
01:03:53,891 --> 01:03:55,825
We will talk about this over there.
896
01:03:55,994 --> 01:04:00,431
Okay, Scrappy, I wait.
897
01:04:00,598 --> 01:04:03,193
Is not like I have a shoe to throw.
898
01:04:04,470 --> 01:04:06,301
Sure. Yes. Beautiful. Whatever.
899
01:04:06,472 --> 01:04:10,636
I don't have time to go watch
a goat fetch soap.
900
01:04:11,443 --> 01:04:14,504
- What?
- What? I don't know.
901
01:04:14,681 --> 01:04:16,080
Listen, my friend...
902
01:04:16,249 --> 01:04:19,184
...you want to talk, it's good,
but you have to wait your turn.
903
01:04:19,352 --> 01:04:21,479
First I have to cut and bang
Mrs. Greenouse.
904
01:04:21,654 --> 01:04:23,680
- That's right.
- Okay.
905
01:04:28,229 --> 01:04:29,924
Well, I'm ready for it.
906
01:04:30,097 --> 01:04:32,292
Oh, dear.
907
01:04:33,768 --> 01:04:38,399
I am sorry, Mrs. Greenouse.
I am not man enough for you today.
908
01:04:38,573 --> 01:04:41,337
Oh, Scrappy, it's fine.
909
01:04:41,510 --> 01:04:45,344
I don't know what the problem is.
I am going to lose business.
910
01:04:45,514 --> 01:04:49,417
Oh, no, dear. You're still adorable.
911
01:04:49,585 --> 01:04:52,349
The screwing
was really just a bonus.
912
01:04:53,222 --> 01:04:56,714
You are an angel, Mrs. Greenouse.
913
01:04:56,893 --> 01:04:59,988
An angel with a magic throat.
914
01:05:00,164 --> 01:05:02,029
Oh, Scrappy!
915
01:05:03,333 --> 01:05:06,769
No, that could work.
One more, please.
916
01:05:06,937 --> 01:05:08,530
Let's see what we got.
917
01:05:08,706 --> 01:05:10,867
And we're still nothing.
918
01:05:23,355 --> 01:05:24,379
Well?
919
01:05:24,557 --> 01:05:26,548
He was very cool.
920
01:05:26,725 --> 01:05:28,750
Idiot. What did he say?
921
01:05:29,395 --> 01:05:33,799
He think I have nice curls
that go well with a full face.
922
01:05:33,967 --> 01:05:37,130
- But was it him?
- Well, it looked like him.
923
01:05:37,304 --> 01:05:38,771
But hard to know.
924
01:05:38,939 --> 01:05:43,639
I tell you this: he didn't seem to care
when I talk about goat fetching soap.
925
01:05:44,679 --> 01:05:49,412
Soup. The goat fetched soup.
You ruin everything.
926
01:05:49,584 --> 01:05:51,575
Soup? This makes no sense.
927
01:05:51,752 --> 01:05:54,654
Screw you. It's him. I know it's him.
928
01:05:54,823 --> 01:05:58,418
The goat fetched soup?
This is unbelievable.
929
01:05:58,594 --> 01:06:00,926
Go to hell.
930
01:06:01,597 --> 01:06:02,825
You said it was urgent?
931
01:06:02,998 --> 01:06:06,196
It's an emergency.
Please, take a look.
932
01:06:07,504 --> 01:06:08,528
Yes, yes.
933
01:06:09,439 --> 01:06:13,375
Well, that's not a real problem.
You can always shave it.
934
01:06:14,444 --> 01:06:16,470
No, not the bush.
935
01:06:16,647 --> 01:06:20,606
No, inside the bush.
Look deeper. Him.
936
01:06:20,784 --> 01:06:23,014
- I see.
- He lays in there all day long.
937
01:06:23,187 --> 01:06:27,249
Maybe it needs some more oxygen.
It looks like it's being strangled.
938
01:06:29,294 --> 01:06:31,387
So the Palestinian says to the priest:
939
01:06:31,563 --> 01:06:34,828
"Okay, but let's skip the bath."
940
01:06:36,067 --> 01:06:37,899
Why, are they not clean?
941
01:06:38,070 --> 01:06:39,401
No, is good joke.
942
01:06:40,773 --> 01:06:43,901
Honey, are you all right?
You've been in there for over an hour.
943
01:06:44,076 --> 01:06:48,445
What is this stuff? I mean, I took one
sip and I repainted the whole toilet.
944
01:06:48,615 --> 01:06:51,175
Is Fizzy Bubblech.
You'll get used to it, relax.
945
01:06:51,351 --> 01:06:53,842
I don't wanna get used to it.
My car couldn't.
946
01:06:56,056 --> 01:06:59,389
- All right, that's it for me. I'm done.
- What? What?
947
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:00,960
Is everything all right?
948
01:07:01,129 --> 01:07:03,188
- Is it about the pee-pee?
- Stop it.
949
01:07:03,364 --> 01:07:06,026
- The pee-pee?
- He can't do with his peepeechosetz.
950
01:07:06,201 --> 01:07:09,693
Really?
He's usually as hard as trigonometry.
951
01:07:09,871 --> 01:07:12,238
- Mom. What...?
- When did this happen?
952
01:07:12,975 --> 01:07:14,499
The last few days.
953
01:07:14,677 --> 01:07:17,908
Of course. It's ever since
you went out with that Dalia.
954
01:07:19,181 --> 01:07:23,881
Your hog is telling you something.
She must be the one.
955
01:07:24,054 --> 01:07:26,579
The one?
956
01:07:26,756 --> 01:07:28,087
Is this possible?
957
01:07:28,258 --> 01:07:30,920
Of course it's possible, man.
958
01:07:31,094 --> 01:07:35,293
All the beaverim in the world
and he falls for Palestinian muffich.
959
01:07:35,933 --> 01:07:38,197
Why should Scrappy care
if she's Palestinian?
960
01:07:38,369 --> 01:07:41,634
He's from Australia and Tibet.
He's not Israeli.
961
01:07:41,806 --> 01:07:43,137
- No, no, no.
- Oh, no, no, no.
962
01:07:45,611 --> 01:07:46,908
Exactly.
963
01:07:47,079 --> 01:07:48,671
What was that, a motor boat?
964
01:07:48,847 --> 01:07:50,075
You know, Scrappy...
965
01:07:50,249 --> 01:07:55,380
...a special woman is special
no matter where she's from.
966
01:07:55,555 --> 01:07:57,819
Listen to your hog.
967
01:07:58,591 --> 01:08:02,027
Someone special.
968
01:08:02,195 --> 01:08:03,321
Maybe is good.
969
01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:05,623
It's good? It's terrific!
970
01:08:06,466 --> 01:08:09,300
I mean, you know,
you guys won't be together anymore...
971
01:08:09,470 --> 01:08:11,938
...but Scrappy is in love.
That's great, awesome.
972
01:08:12,673 --> 01:08:14,265
Thank you for your support.
973
01:08:14,441 --> 01:08:16,033
- Is a good boy.
- Good boy.
974
01:08:16,210 --> 01:08:18,907
This is fun. Let's celebrate.
Where's the cat?
975
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:21,708
Let's cat-sack, huh? Throw it to me.
976
01:08:21,883 --> 01:08:24,579
- Got you.
- Let's play, man.
977
01:08:27,355 --> 01:08:28,983
Take it, Michael.
978
01:08:33,729 --> 01:08:34,855
Look at you.
979
01:08:38,434 --> 01:08:40,733
I wanna try it.
980
01:08:48,111 --> 01:08:49,237
Is good.
981
01:08:51,683 --> 01:08:53,514
Welcome to Hezbollah phone line.
982
01:08:53,685 --> 01:08:56,245
For membership information,
press one.
983
01:08:56,421 --> 01:08:59,083
For negotiation update, press two.
984
01:08:59,257 --> 01:09:01,987
For bonus mile information,
press three.
985
01:09:02,160 --> 01:09:05,460
For terrorist supplies, press four.
986
01:09:06,932 --> 01:09:09,924
We have currently suspended
our terrorist supply service...
987
01:09:10,102 --> 01:09:13,094
... as we are engaged
in negotiations with Israel.
988
01:09:13,272 --> 01:09:18,609
We will resume service as soon as
negotiations break down. Thank you.
989
01:09:18,778 --> 01:09:20,905
Great.
990
01:09:21,381 --> 01:09:23,747
Come on. Just think of a bomb.
991
01:09:23,917 --> 01:09:28,218
They say you can make bomb from
everyday's material. You combine.
992
01:09:28,389 --> 01:09:31,415
Yes, okay.
But what we combination?
993
01:09:33,394 --> 01:09:34,918
Just think of chemicals.
994
01:09:35,096 --> 01:09:37,691
Chemicals, like in science class.
995
01:09:37,866 --> 01:09:39,766
Yes.
996
01:09:45,073 --> 01:09:48,100
Who remembers this stuff?
997
01:09:50,913 --> 01:09:51,971
Hello.
998
01:09:52,148 --> 01:09:54,776
Well, can I help you fellas
find anything?
999
01:09:54,951 --> 01:09:58,410
Yes, do you have...
1000
01:10:00,424 --> 01:10:05,157
..."liquid nitrogen."
1001
01:10:06,363 --> 01:10:07,990
You need what?
1002
01:10:08,165 --> 01:10:12,830
Liquid nitrogen.
1003
01:10:14,506 --> 01:10:18,306
Yeah. Well, I suppose
we have some of that.
1004
01:10:18,476 --> 01:10:19,738
Now, just a moment.
1005
01:10:26,118 --> 01:10:29,315
- This is it?
- Yes, and that's the large container.
1006
01:10:30,623 --> 01:10:32,182
This works?
1007
01:10:32,359 --> 01:10:34,020
Oh, it works quite well. Yes.
1008
01:10:35,328 --> 01:10:36,352
You use?
1009
01:10:36,530 --> 01:10:39,988
From time to time. Sure.
1010
01:10:44,572 --> 01:10:46,540
We'll take 12.
1011
01:10:47,542 --> 01:10:50,477
Look, you can turn off the water...
1012
01:10:50,645 --> 01:10:53,443
...but we will find a way
to keep on going.
1013
01:10:53,614 --> 01:10:55,674
Oh, you like when I spray you,
Mrs. Skitzer?
1014
01:10:55,851 --> 01:10:57,648
Where's the $ 14,000?
1015
01:10:58,220 --> 01:11:02,122
I have your rent right here.
There is no getting rid of me.
1016
01:11:02,291 --> 01:11:03,724
We don't wanna get rid of you.
1017
01:11:03,892 --> 01:11:08,330
Mr. Walbridge would actually like to
relocate your salon in our new mall.
1018
01:11:08,498 --> 01:11:11,729
You mean the one you want to destroy
this community to build?
1019
01:11:11,901 --> 01:11:14,369
It is not our intent
to destroy this community.
1020
01:11:15,238 --> 01:11:19,642
I'll take the community, Pancake.
1021
01:11:19,810 --> 01:11:23,075
My name is Gray, and I'll be back.
1022
01:11:23,781 --> 01:11:25,510
Nice to meet you, Pancake.
1023
01:11:29,287 --> 01:11:30,311
Why Pancake?
1024
01:11:31,156 --> 01:11:32,180
Just for fun.
1025
01:11:32,958 --> 01:11:34,926
You were amazing right there.
1026
01:11:38,063 --> 01:11:39,088
Oh, my God.
1027
01:11:39,265 --> 01:11:41,290
What?
1028
01:11:41,467 --> 01:11:43,230
I have one.
1029
01:11:43,736 --> 01:11:44,828
What?
1030
01:11:45,004 --> 01:11:47,495
I have zikpah.
1031
01:11:47,673 --> 01:11:48,867
Look at it.
1032
01:11:50,177 --> 01:11:52,941
It is you.
1033
01:11:53,714 --> 01:11:57,775
Dalia, I don't know how to tell you this.
I cannot make sticky with anyone else.
1034
01:11:58,852 --> 01:12:01,754
You are the special one.
1035
01:12:01,923 --> 01:12:05,381
I will only be stiff for you.
1036
01:12:06,694 --> 01:12:08,218
Who is Steve?
1037
01:12:08,396 --> 01:12:10,796
Stiff, with an F.
1038
01:12:13,302 --> 01:12:15,930
- Stiff. Stiff.
- Yes.
1039
01:12:16,539 --> 01:12:18,131
Okay...
1040
01:12:18,307 --> 01:12:22,300
...I know you meant that
in a good way...
1041
01:12:22,478 --> 01:12:23,707
The best of ways.
1042
01:12:23,880 --> 01:12:26,314
- so thank you.
1043
01:12:26,483 --> 01:12:28,610
Thank you.
1044
01:12:29,953 --> 01:12:31,580
Is crazy.
1045
01:12:31,755 --> 01:12:35,055
This has never happened.
1046
01:12:35,226 --> 01:12:36,818
One woman...
1047
01:12:36,994 --> 01:12:39,189
...one zikpah...
1048
01:12:39,363 --> 01:12:41,058
...one life.
1049
01:13:04,424 --> 01:13:07,552
You see his face?
Scared Israeli son of bitch.
1050
01:13:07,727 --> 01:13:09,696
Salim, this is not bomb.
1051
01:13:09,863 --> 01:13:11,228
What you mean "not bomb"?
1052
01:13:11,398 --> 01:13:14,026
It's grade A liquid nitrogen.
1053
01:13:14,201 --> 01:13:15,896
Guys, I really need to go home.
1054
01:13:16,070 --> 01:13:18,231
Inaz have a soccer match
in the morning.
1055
01:13:18,405 --> 01:13:21,898
- I am hero.
- Salim, this not bomb. It just go:
1056
01:13:22,077 --> 01:13:23,874
Well, just go with it.
1057
01:13:26,014 --> 01:13:27,641
I scraped some off the window.
1058
01:13:28,316 --> 01:13:29,613
Maybe you know what is?
1059
01:13:35,424 --> 01:13:39,884
It's Neosporin, it's nothing.
I use it for cuts and genital sores.
1060
01:13:43,100 --> 01:13:45,796
We're beginning to think
maybe someone out to get the Zo...
1061
01:13:45,969 --> 01:13:47,800
The Scrappy.
1062
01:13:47,971 --> 01:13:51,566
You mean like a competing salon?
That's heavy.
1063
01:13:51,742 --> 01:13:54,644
Don't be afraid, honey.
Don't be afraid.
1064
01:13:54,812 --> 01:13:56,541
Well, I...
1065
01:13:58,049 --> 01:14:00,745
Yeah, lick this.
No, she likes the tongue in the ear.
1066
01:14:00,918 --> 01:14:02,943
Oh, I like that bet... Oh, I like that.
1067
01:14:03,121 --> 01:14:05,215
Close with the brenski.
1068
01:14:07,626 --> 01:14:10,026
Come on, get some saliva
on those bad boys.
1069
01:14:10,195 --> 01:14:12,356
- She likes it, huh?
- Of course she likes it.
1070
01:14:12,531 --> 01:14:13,862
Okay.
1071
01:14:14,033 --> 01:14:17,094
I could look for clues. It's my shift
for community night watch.
1072
01:14:17,270 --> 01:14:18,999
The what?
The communism tight crotch?
1073
01:14:19,172 --> 01:14:21,140
Oh, it's the community
night watch program.
1074
01:14:21,307 --> 01:14:25,175
You know, people in the neighborhood
patrolling it, keeping it safe.
1075
01:14:25,345 --> 01:14:27,109
We kick some ass.
1076
01:14:27,281 --> 01:14:30,216
Hey, why don't you let Scrappy Coco
take your shift tonight?
1077
01:14:30,384 --> 01:14:32,784
- I bet he'd be good at this.
- Oori.
1078
01:14:33,387 --> 01:14:35,355
What? For clues.
1079
01:14:35,523 --> 01:14:40,120
I know it sounds scary, Scrappy,
but you are gonna be just fine.
1080
01:14:40,996 --> 01:14:43,123
Maybe I can manage one night.
1081
01:14:43,298 --> 01:14:45,027
Maybe you can pretzel some people.
1082
01:14:45,200 --> 01:14:48,226
- Thank you for getting the hummus.
- The hummus.
1083
01:14:48,871 --> 01:14:50,361
Where's Patches?
1084
01:14:50,540 --> 01:14:52,303
Patches.
1085
01:14:55,878 --> 01:14:58,870
I'm terrified right now.
I'm totally terrified.
1086
01:14:59,048 --> 01:15:01,347
"Shitting my pants"
doesn't come close.
1087
01:15:01,518 --> 01:15:03,611
I wish I was shitting my pants.
1088
01:15:03,787 --> 01:15:05,652
It's just a patrol.
1089
01:15:05,823 --> 01:15:07,120
What if something goes down?
1090
01:15:07,291 --> 01:15:09,486
I don't know if I'd have the courage.
1091
01:15:09,660 --> 01:15:12,425
What if something goes down
and someone got killed?
1092
01:15:12,597 --> 01:15:16,089
I would have to live with that.
I'd be happier shitting my pants.
1093
01:15:16,267 --> 01:15:17,564
Much happier.
1094
01:15:21,639 --> 01:15:23,801
- Let's go.
- We're supposed to call the police.
1095
01:15:23,976 --> 01:15:25,068
No. No time.
1096
01:15:25,244 --> 01:15:27,144
No, no. No. It's good.
1097
01:15:30,249 --> 01:15:31,273
Drop the paint.
1098
01:15:32,685 --> 01:15:35,780
Get out of here, Ahab,
or I'll cut your eyes out.
1099
01:15:35,956 --> 01:15:38,424
- Maybe we should let him finish.
- No, no, no.
1100
01:15:38,592 --> 01:15:41,356
What you cut my eyes out with?
The Neosporin?
1101
01:15:44,365 --> 01:15:46,094
My blade, camel jockey.
1102
01:15:46,267 --> 01:15:49,668
My friend, the beating I give you
if you stop the spraying...
1103
01:15:49,837 --> 01:15:53,329
...is much less than the beating
I give you if you try to cut me.
1104
01:15:57,646 --> 01:15:58,943
What are you laughing at?
1105
01:15:59,815 --> 01:16:02,511
That was just with everyone.
1106
01:16:13,329 --> 01:16:14,990
They had it coming to them, right?
1107
01:16:15,165 --> 01:16:17,395
Yeah. Yeah, it seemed like it. Yeah.
1108
01:16:17,568 --> 01:16:21,368
- Okay, you take it from here.
- I got it.
1109
01:16:21,539 --> 01:16:22,904
Everything's gonna be okay.
1110
01:16:26,343 --> 01:16:28,573
What you gotta say about that, huh?
1111
01:16:32,851 --> 01:16:35,251
You're telling me
our guys can't handle...
1112
01:16:35,420 --> 01:16:38,651
...some neighborhood
night-watching losers?
1113
01:16:38,824 --> 01:16:41,692
We can't even put a scare
into these people?
1114
01:16:41,861 --> 01:16:43,590
The main guy who got in the way...
1115
01:16:43,763 --> 01:16:46,926
...is the same one who's bringing
old biddies into Rafaela Salon.
1116
01:16:47,099 --> 01:16:48,293
My aunt goes there.
1117
01:16:48,467 --> 01:16:51,869
She says besides the sex,
the guy gives a pretty good haircut.
1118
01:16:52,039 --> 01:16:54,166
Don't talk to me about that dump.
1119
01:16:54,341 --> 01:16:58,835
I've got a huge,
classy hotel standing there...
1120
01:16:59,012 --> 01:17:01,537
...and it's staring
at that cheap garbage.
1121
01:17:01,715 --> 01:17:04,048
I want it staring at the Supercuts.
1122
01:17:04,219 --> 01:17:10,021
Now, has anyone made any headway
with any of these foreign people?
1123
01:17:10,191 --> 01:17:13,251
I spoke to the manager of Going
Out Of Business again yesterday.
1124
01:17:13,429 --> 01:17:16,057
I stated our price
and the urgency of the matter...
1125
01:17:16,232 --> 01:17:19,224
...and he offered me two-thirds less
and a Toshiba DVD player.
1126
01:17:19,401 --> 01:17:21,961
The people at Everything Must Go
were just as difficult.
1127
01:17:22,137 --> 01:17:25,437
They offered me a Blu-ray disc
and a jar of hummus.
1128
01:17:25,942 --> 01:17:27,034
What's hummus?
1129
01:17:27,210 --> 01:17:29,110
It's a very tasty...
1130
01:17:29,279 --> 01:17:30,746
...diarrhea-like substance.
1131
01:17:30,914 --> 01:17:33,212
Grant Walbridge has a vision.
1132
01:17:33,383 --> 01:17:37,684
A vision for Lower Manattan
to have the first indoor mall...
1133
01:17:37,855 --> 01:17:41,086
...with its own 300-foot
roller coaster.
1134
01:17:41,259 --> 01:17:44,592
You know, you're lucky I have
a world-class superhot girlfriend...
1135
01:17:44,762 --> 01:17:48,597
...with a perfectly proportioned
ass-to-breast ratio...
1136
01:17:48,767 --> 01:17:50,632
...or I'd be furious.
1137
01:17:50,802 --> 01:17:52,793
She is smoking, sir.
1138
01:17:52,971 --> 01:17:54,836
I'd pay
to spend an hour with her, sir.
1139
01:17:55,007 --> 01:17:56,269
Let me in on that.
1140
01:17:56,441 --> 01:17:58,000
Well, thank you.
1141
01:17:58,177 --> 01:18:04,241
But if you bitches
can't get those people out...
1142
01:18:04,417 --> 01:18:07,147
...I will find other people
who will get the job done.
1143
01:18:07,320 --> 01:18:10,085
However, whenever.
1144
01:18:11,325 --> 01:18:16,661
Walbridge!
1145
01:18:24,005 --> 01:18:25,370
This is where I find them.
1146
01:18:25,540 --> 01:18:28,805
But I don't know if it's same people
who try to Neosporin salon.
1147
01:18:28,977 --> 01:18:32,846
But you caught them writing this crap,
so, what do you do?
1148
01:18:35,017 --> 01:18:37,850
- You don't mess with the Zohan.
- Check it.
1149
01:18:38,020 --> 01:18:39,009
- Disco.
- Disco.
1150
01:18:39,188 --> 01:18:40,177
- Good.
- Good.
1151
01:18:40,356 --> 01:18:42,848
Why did you do this
to Naseef's store, huh?
1152
01:18:43,026 --> 01:18:44,493
Why you blame the Israelis?
1153
01:18:44,661 --> 01:18:46,561
We come to work,
go out of business.
1154
01:18:46,730 --> 01:18:49,597
No, no, no.
Is not Israeli who do this.
1155
01:18:49,766 --> 01:18:52,530
I do community watch.
Don't worry, it's all taken care of.
1156
01:18:52,703 --> 01:18:56,071
Not Israeli? Who else would write
"Arab go home"?
1157
01:18:56,240 --> 01:18:59,767
Oh, I don't know,
just maybe 99 percent of the world.
1158
01:19:00,645 --> 01:19:02,636
- You see what he says?
- That was joke.
1159
01:19:02,814 --> 01:19:06,478
Come on, come on.
You guys get along here, stop this.
1160
01:19:06,652 --> 01:19:10,748
Yeah, here it's okay. It's just there,
the war is never going to end.
1161
01:19:11,423 --> 01:19:14,790
You know, we were so close to peace
before the asshole shot Rabin.
1162
01:19:15,928 --> 01:19:17,294
Bush, he see the big picture.
1163
01:19:17,464 --> 01:19:19,898
Bush no want peace,
he set it all back.
1164
01:19:20,066 --> 01:19:23,502
What about Bush's wife?
This is a wife I would get sticky with.
1165
01:19:23,670 --> 01:19:25,797
I would do this. I would do this.
1166
01:19:25,972 --> 01:19:28,669
- Yes, yes.
- What about Clinton? I would do Hillary.
1167
01:19:30,578 --> 01:19:31,772
The big legs.
1168
01:19:31,946 --> 01:19:34,881
Yeah, she look strict,
like she's going to teach me a lesson.
1169
01:19:35,049 --> 01:19:37,210
- Yes, discipline.
- You know what's funny?
1170
01:19:37,385 --> 01:19:39,149
I like Chelsea.
1171
01:19:39,321 --> 01:19:40,913
You're crazy.
1172
01:19:42,257 --> 01:19:43,815
She has beautiful legs.
1173
01:19:44,793 --> 01:19:48,786
If I want legs, I'll take Obama's wife.
She has legs.
1174
01:19:48,964 --> 01:19:51,024
This is what happens
when they talk politics.
1175
01:19:51,200 --> 01:19:53,100
No, no, no, wife of McCain!
1176
01:19:53,269 --> 01:19:56,500
She has the ass,
and you know she's not getting any.
1177
01:19:57,707 --> 01:20:02,111
I understand my assistant
explained the job to you.
1178
01:20:02,279 --> 01:20:04,941
He told us. You wanna get
some people out your building...
1179
01:20:05,115 --> 01:20:08,050
...so you can build
some kind of roller coaster mall.
1180
01:20:08,218 --> 01:20:11,449
Sir, I just wanna thank you
for this opportunity.
1181
01:20:11,622 --> 01:20:15,787
I mean, it's a gift to mess with the Jews
and the terrorists on the same night.
1182
01:20:15,960 --> 01:20:17,291
I mean, it's like...
1183
01:20:17,462 --> 01:20:20,363
- It's like...
- Christmas in July.
1184
01:20:20,532 --> 01:20:22,397
It's like Christmas in July.
1185
01:20:22,567 --> 01:20:25,537
Right now
we are scheduled to sabotage...
1186
01:20:25,704 --> 01:20:28,571
... a black peoples' parade
in Chicago...
1187
01:20:28,741 --> 01:20:30,971
...but we can move that.
1188
01:20:31,143 --> 01:20:34,580
Well, I'm not really quite sure
how you move a parade.
1189
01:20:34,748 --> 01:20:37,239
That's easy, it's just a phone call.
1190
01:20:37,918 --> 01:20:41,251
Well, we'll be calling back
to make the arrangements.
1191
01:20:41,421 --> 01:20:45,324
Can I just say that I don't like
most rich people, but you get it.
1192
01:20:45,493 --> 01:20:47,984
We built this country
on the right to bear arms.
1193
01:20:48,162 --> 01:20:52,064
Now they're trying to tell me how many
bullets my gun can shoot per second.
1194
01:20:52,233 --> 01:20:55,964
They're trying to tell me
whether I can stockpile weapons...
1195
01:20:56,137 --> 01:20:57,833
...in the shed behind my house.
1196
01:20:58,006 --> 01:21:00,600
- Right, by God.
- Anyway, you're a rich guy that gets it.
1197
01:21:00,776 --> 01:21:03,040
You and Mel Gibson.
1198
01:21:05,481 --> 01:21:09,009
Mel Gibson. Not too shabby.
1199
01:21:11,488 --> 01:21:13,513
Welcome to Hezbollah
customer service.
1200
01:21:13,690 --> 01:21:15,123
All lines are busy now.
1201
01:21:15,291 --> 01:21:20,559
Your call will be received
in... minutes.
1202
01:21:21,332 --> 01:21:23,562
Come on with this.
How we find Phantom?
1203
01:21:23,734 --> 01:21:27,033
Well, he probably hang
at the muchentuchen restaurant.
1204
01:21:27,204 --> 01:21:29,729
Okay, but which?
He have, like, 200.
1205
01:21:29,908 --> 01:21:31,102
Probably in Amman.
1206
01:21:31,276 --> 01:21:33,471
In downtown
he get the hottest poochibaba.
1207
01:21:39,651 --> 01:21:42,416
What's the area code of Amman?
1208
01:22:23,432 --> 01:22:24,831
Hello. Phantom Muchentuchen.
1209
01:22:25,000 --> 01:22:27,561
Yes. I want speak Phantom.
1210
01:22:27,737 --> 01:22:29,671
What say? No English.
1211
01:22:30,073 --> 01:22:31,563
Idiot.
1212
01:22:31,741 --> 01:22:34,209
Want speak to Phantom.
1213
01:22:34,377 --> 01:22:37,279
No, no, no. Phantom not here.
Phantom Muchentuchen.
1214
01:22:37,448 --> 01:22:40,815
Yeah, yeah, I know.
But Phantom no come?
1215
01:22:40,985 --> 01:22:42,577
But what about for poonibaba?
1216
01:22:42,753 --> 01:22:46,154
No, no, poonibaba at store
on 3rd and Lachalta.
1217
01:22:46,324 --> 01:22:48,885
Oh, okay. So you have number
for store?
1218
01:22:49,061 --> 01:22:50,688
You call information.
1219
01:22:50,862 --> 01:22:53,296
You don't have number
for other store?
1220
01:22:55,734 --> 01:22:57,133
It's somewhere. I don't know.
1221
01:22:57,302 --> 01:23:03,242
Come on, get number! I calling from
America, fry bitch! I very important.
1222
01:23:03,409 --> 01:23:05,240
Salim, the kids.
1223
01:23:05,411 --> 01:23:08,539
When she is grown up
she will understand!
1224
01:23:10,149 --> 01:23:11,845
Hello.
1225
01:23:13,954 --> 01:23:17,219
I find the Zohan.
You not kill the Zohan.
1226
01:23:17,391 --> 01:23:18,983
I kill the Zohan.
1227
01:23:19,159 --> 01:23:22,027
No, you did not.
I find him in America.
1228
01:23:22,197 --> 01:23:24,791
I prove. I send you picture on cell.
1229
01:23:25,433 --> 01:23:27,196
Okay. Bring this.
1230
01:23:27,369 --> 01:23:28,563
I am bringing.
1231
01:23:34,977 --> 01:23:36,001
You see?
1232
01:23:36,178 --> 01:23:39,705
But the hairstyle, it is hideous.
1233
01:23:39,882 --> 01:23:40,974
This is same Zohan.
1234
01:23:41,150 --> 01:23:44,143
What he thinking? He look like guy
from Who's the Boss?
1235
01:23:44,321 --> 01:23:46,585
Look, this is same Zohan.
1236
01:23:46,757 --> 01:23:51,057
Everybody think you big hero.
But I tell everyone you not big hero.
1237
01:23:51,228 --> 01:23:53,196
Okay, okay, okay!
What you want, huh?
1238
01:23:53,363 --> 01:23:55,889
I want muchentuchen
restaurant chain.
1239
01:23:56,067 --> 01:23:57,227
No.
1240
01:23:57,402 --> 01:24:00,098
But if I tell,
you no have chain anyway.
1241
01:24:00,271 --> 01:24:02,535
So you not give any incentive.
1242
01:24:03,908 --> 01:24:06,844
Okay. I want 50 percent
of muchentuchen chain.
1243
01:24:07,012 --> 01:24:10,413
- Phantom & Salim Muchentuchen.
- No.
1244
01:24:10,582 --> 01:24:12,209
- Twenty-five percent.
- No.
1245
01:24:12,384 --> 01:24:15,376
I want yogurt shop attached to store,
like food court.
1246
01:24:15,854 --> 01:24:16,878
Okay.
1247
01:24:17,056 --> 01:24:18,957
- I get profits from store.
- No.
1248
01:24:19,125 --> 01:24:20,615
- Some profits.
- No.
1249
01:24:20,794 --> 01:24:22,762
I get free yogurt
when I come to store.
1250
01:24:23,463 --> 01:24:25,226
Okay. Within reason.
1251
01:24:25,398 --> 01:24:26,922
And I want some of your wives.
1252
01:24:27,367 --> 01:24:28,699
How many wives you want?
1253
01:24:28,869 --> 01:24:30,200
- Twenty.
- No.
1254
01:24:30,371 --> 01:24:32,202
- I sleep with one wife.
- No.
1255
01:24:32,373 --> 01:24:34,204
She give one pee-pee touch.
1256
01:24:35,109 --> 01:24:36,133
Okay.
1257
01:24:53,596 --> 01:24:56,656
My friends, look what I do.
I hook you all up with tickets.
1258
01:24:56,833 --> 01:24:59,597
This Walbridge guy's
trying to kiss salors ass...
1259
01:24:59,769 --> 01:25:02,466
...so he give me 20 tickets
hackyside.
1260
01:25:02,639 --> 01:25:06,598
Very nice. Hassan, you see this?
1261
01:25:07,611 --> 01:25:10,808
This is where you're going to be
when Israel kick your ass.
1262
01:25:10,981 --> 01:25:14,281
Yes? No, you're gonna give it up
like you give up Gaza Strip, huh?
1263
01:25:16,321 --> 01:25:18,289
Excuse us.
1264
01:25:20,125 --> 01:25:21,217
I have to show you this.
1265
01:25:21,393 --> 01:25:24,989
Listen to Fatima Zaad's
gossip column on Page Nine.
1266
01:25:25,164 --> 01:25:28,258
"A hall of fame terrorist
is visiting New York...
1267
01:25:28,434 --> 01:25:30,766
...and not for the muchentuchen."
1268
01:25:31,470 --> 01:25:34,200
- Phantom's coming to the City?
- There's more.
1269
01:25:34,373 --> 01:25:38,538
"He's coming to hacky sack
a certain scrappy Israeli...
1270
01:25:38,712 --> 01:25:42,944
...who says he cuts hair,
but really cuts terrorist."
1271
01:25:44,584 --> 01:25:45,846
He's ruined everything.
1272
01:25:46,019 --> 01:25:48,318
Why you say? You the Zohan.
1273
01:25:48,489 --> 01:25:50,980
He come to hacky sack,
you take him out.
1274
01:25:51,159 --> 01:25:53,684
No, I don't care.
I come here to start new life.
1275
01:25:53,861 --> 01:25:56,762
Get new woman to love
and make the bang-boom.
1276
01:25:56,931 --> 01:25:59,162
Now my life's followed me here.
1277
01:26:08,010 --> 01:26:10,844
Maybe Phantom no care anymore.
1278
01:27:05,874 --> 01:27:08,399
You're an Israeli counterterrorist?
1279
01:27:08,576 --> 01:27:09,975
- I knew it.
- What?
1280
01:27:10,144 --> 01:27:13,443
Well, the Israeli part.
Because he's circumcised.
1281
01:27:14,415 --> 01:27:17,283
How is Dalia going to forgive me?
1282
01:27:17,453 --> 01:27:18,852
I'm liar.
1283
01:27:19,021 --> 01:27:21,956
She Palestinian, I'm no Australian.
1284
01:27:22,124 --> 01:27:25,059
You know, Scrappy...
I mean, "Zohard."
1285
01:27:25,227 --> 01:27:28,254
- if there's one thing I've learned
from all my relationships...
1286
01:27:28,431 --> 01:27:32,561
...with Jewish men, Puerto Rican men,
aborigines...
1287
01:27:34,237 --> 01:27:37,206
...you can't have secrets
in a relationship.
1288
01:27:37,374 --> 01:27:42,176
You tell her the truth
and if she really is this special one...
1289
01:27:42,346 --> 01:27:45,008
...everything will work out just fine.
1290
01:27:45,750 --> 01:27:47,843
I like this.
1291
01:27:52,856 --> 01:27:56,917
I am sorry I not tell you the truth before
I make you fall head over tits for me.
1292
01:27:57,093 --> 01:28:01,121
But believe me,
I am wanting you even more.
1293
01:28:02,133 --> 01:28:04,863
I know you're not from
where you say.
1294
01:28:05,035 --> 01:28:07,128
I see how you look
at the Fizzy Bubblech.
1295
01:28:07,304 --> 01:28:11,331
Then why you like this? Is it because
I Israel and you Palestine?
1296
01:28:11,510 --> 01:28:13,034
Come on, tell me in my face.
1297
01:28:13,211 --> 01:28:16,647
Zohan, you're not just Israel.
1298
01:28:16,815 --> 01:28:18,715
You Israel.
1299
01:28:18,884 --> 01:28:20,852
But you say hate is stupid.
1300
01:28:21,019 --> 01:28:24,820
That's why you run to America, to get
away from the hate and the fighting.
1301
01:28:25,424 --> 01:28:28,518
I was even thinking
we let all this cool down...
1302
01:28:28,694 --> 01:28:30,662
...I go out and get us
a house over there.
1303
01:28:30,830 --> 01:28:33,424
We move in together,
we cut the hair...
1304
01:28:33,599 --> 01:28:36,364
...make the children,
cut the childrers hair.
1305
01:28:36,537 --> 01:28:38,903
Zohan, I can't.
1306
01:28:39,773 --> 01:28:43,368
I have open mind,
but you Israeli counterterrorist.
1307
01:28:43,544 --> 01:28:45,240
No, no, no. I no do this anymore.
1308
01:28:45,413 --> 01:28:48,143
You put the fork in the fat lady,
it's over.
1309
01:28:48,316 --> 01:28:50,477
She's had enough to eat.
This is a promise.
1310
01:28:50,652 --> 01:28:53,143
It doesn't matter.
1311
01:28:53,321 --> 01:28:55,414
You don't know my family.
1312
01:28:55,590 --> 01:28:58,059
Or maybe you do.
1313
01:28:58,227 --> 01:28:59,489
What does this mean?
1314
01:29:00,729 --> 01:29:02,492
Just leave.
1315
01:29:02,665 --> 01:29:04,599
Please, it can't be.
1316
01:29:09,039 --> 01:29:11,371
Maybe is for best.
1317
01:29:12,209 --> 01:29:15,337
You deserve a safe life.
1318
01:29:16,680 --> 01:29:18,842
But know...
1319
01:29:19,784 --> 01:29:23,015
...you will always be my special one.
1320
01:29:34,633 --> 01:29:36,726
- Zohan.
- Dalia.
1321
01:29:39,371 --> 01:29:40,805
I got you a gift.
1322
01:29:40,974 --> 01:29:43,101
A gift.
1323
01:29:46,879 --> 01:29:49,370
They come out with new book?
1324
01:29:49,549 --> 01:29:54,385
Yes. They do it
every 21 years, I think.
1325
01:29:54,555 --> 01:29:56,750
Just a slight update from yours.
1326
01:30:02,463 --> 01:30:04,455
No feathering?
1327
01:30:04,633 --> 01:30:05,930
Or scrunching?
1328
01:30:06,668 --> 01:30:07,965
Where's the style?
1329
01:30:09,004 --> 01:30:13,737
But I know this is nice gesture.
Thank you.
1330
01:30:15,011 --> 01:30:16,638
Goodbye, Zohan.
1331
01:30:16,812 --> 01:30:19,042
Goodbye.
1332
01:30:25,489 --> 01:30:27,582
Goodbye.
1333
01:30:52,651 --> 01:30:54,312
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
1334
01:30:54,486 --> 01:30:55,976
Me too.
1335
01:30:56,155 --> 01:30:57,417
You still go to Hacky Sack?
1336
01:30:57,589 --> 01:31:00,559
Yes, it's better I find him
than he finds me, huh?
1337
01:31:00,727 --> 01:31:03,787
I got your back.
I get you best army guys in city.
1338
01:31:03,963 --> 01:31:06,932
No, no, no. I handle this alone.
1339
01:31:16,911 --> 01:31:18,708
Hello? Let's go.
1340
01:31:37,033 --> 01:31:39,501
Go. Go, go, go.
1341
01:32:04,596 --> 01:32:09,034
Ladies and gentlemen,
here are your Israeli Blue Stars...
1342
01:32:09,201 --> 01:32:13,365
... and your Lebanese Trees!
1343
01:32:25,051 --> 01:32:27,281
Fizzy Bubblech.
1344
01:32:39,868 --> 01:32:42,359
What's with the cheers?
Wasrt that guy a terrorist?
1345
01:32:42,538 --> 01:32:45,029
Yeah, people used to boo
you too, John, you remember?
1346
01:32:45,207 --> 01:32:46,731
I wasrt a terrorist.
1347
01:32:46,909 --> 01:32:49,173
You were pretty bad.
1348
01:32:51,181 --> 01:32:55,140
I brought this great event
to New York to tell the world...
1349
01:32:55,318 --> 01:32:57,286
...that New York City...
1350
01:32:57,454 --> 01:33:01,687
...loves its foreign immigrant-types
from the Middle East.
1351
01:33:02,827 --> 01:33:07,560
My hot girlfriend and I
know that we can all get along...
1352
01:33:07,731 --> 01:33:13,193
...whether you're white, or brown,
or khaki, whatever that color is.
1353
01:33:13,371 --> 01:33:17,705
And here to sing
the American national anthem...
1354
01:33:17,876 --> 01:33:20,344
...a superstar we all love:
1355
01:33:20,512 --> 01:33:22,742
Mariah Carey!
1356
01:33:49,110 --> 01:33:50,634
Goal!
1357
01:33:50,812 --> 01:33:53,076
And disco break!
1358
01:34:08,264 --> 01:34:11,598
Disco, disco, good, good!
Disco, disco, good, good!
1359
01:34:11,768 --> 01:34:15,636
Disco, disco, good, good!
Disco, disco, good, good!
1360
01:34:17,841 --> 01:34:19,639
Okay, Mariah. Couple more.
1361
01:34:19,810 --> 01:34:22,608
This one's from Sheik Fayalah
of Lebanon.
1362
01:34:22,780 --> 01:34:25,271
He wants you to write
"All I want for Ramadan is you."
1363
01:34:25,449 --> 01:34:26,609
Okay, this again?
1364
01:34:26,784 --> 01:34:27,944
- I know.
- All right.
1365
01:34:28,119 --> 01:34:30,144
MC, there's a Mr. Phantom
here to see you.
1366
01:34:30,321 --> 01:34:32,449
Who's Phantom,
a dude trying to be a rapper?
1367
01:34:32,624 --> 01:34:35,684
- Because I don't know who that is.
- He says he's a killing machine.
1368
01:34:36,428 --> 01:34:38,123
Whatever. Okay.
1369
01:34:40,432 --> 01:34:42,697
Miss Mariah Carey.
1370
01:34:44,037 --> 01:34:47,006
It is a pleasure to meet you.
1371
01:34:47,173 --> 01:34:50,734
Thank you. Nice to meet you.
Hi, how are you?
1372
01:34:50,910 --> 01:34:54,369
Miss Carey, your high notes
are so beautiful...
1373
01:34:54,548 --> 01:34:58,951
...like a Scud missile
soaring towards its target.
1374
01:34:59,653 --> 01:35:01,951
- Thank you. That's really nice.
- Thank you.
1375
01:35:02,122 --> 01:35:03,817
So you know I'm not dead.
1376
01:35:05,460 --> 01:35:07,690
Oh, I sorry I startle.
1377
01:35:07,862 --> 01:35:11,730
I was not startle. I saw a bee.
1378
01:35:11,900 --> 01:35:14,368
There's a bee? I'm allergic.
It's not even funny.
1379
01:35:14,536 --> 01:35:17,028
No, no, no. Look.
The bee is gone. He's gone.
1380
01:35:17,206 --> 01:35:19,470
Mariah, believe me, there's no bee.
1381
01:35:19,642 --> 01:35:21,507
I'm allergic. You know I'm allergic.
1382
01:35:21,677 --> 01:35:26,479
No, no, no. The bee... Forget the bee.
The bee is made up, it's fiction.
1383
01:35:26,650 --> 01:35:28,982
It was a black wasp.
1384
01:35:29,152 --> 01:35:31,143
- promising me
that there was no bee here.
1385
01:35:31,321 --> 01:35:33,016
There was no bee. He says the bee...
1386
01:35:33,190 --> 01:35:36,421
...so he can look more like a person
who would not scream like this.
1387
01:35:36,593 --> 01:35:38,892
- Are you sure?
- I promise you.
1388
01:35:39,063 --> 01:35:40,394
I beg your cleavage's pardon.
1389
01:35:40,565 --> 01:35:45,002
We will be out of your bouncy hair
in a jiffy. Is between us.
1390
01:35:45,169 --> 01:35:47,831
I was going to kill you tomorrow...
1391
01:35:48,006 --> 01:35:54,412
...but I guess jackass
can't wait to die for real.
1392
01:35:54,580 --> 01:35:56,241
Do y'all want us to leave?
Because we can go.
1393
01:35:56,415 --> 01:35:58,076
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
1394
01:35:58,250 --> 01:36:00,947
- We are not even here.
- Almost done. Give it a few seconds.
1395
01:36:03,023 --> 01:36:05,491
I came here to the States to
stop the fighting...
1396
01:36:05,659 --> 01:36:07,684
...but I guess
this will never end, eh?
1397
01:36:08,795 --> 01:36:12,562
Oh, Zohan does not want
to fight anymore.
1398
01:36:12,733 --> 01:36:14,223
Scared of bees, huh?
1399
01:36:14,402 --> 01:36:17,599
Now I'm afraid of the bees?
I'm afraid of the bees?
1400
01:36:17,772 --> 01:36:19,899
What? You're the one that
brings up the bees.
1401
01:36:21,142 --> 01:36:23,668
Your hair. Your hair does not
do you justice.
1402
01:36:23,845 --> 01:36:26,143
You don't like this hair?
I think you're alone on this one.
1403
01:36:26,314 --> 01:36:27,781
Everyone else
going crazy for it.
1404
01:36:27,949 --> 01:36:30,440
I like the 'fro better.
1405
01:36:30,619 --> 01:36:31,916
Hang on, I'm getting a call.
1406
01:36:34,023 --> 01:36:35,115
Michael, what is?
1407
01:36:35,291 --> 01:36:37,452
Zohan? We have a problem here.
1408
01:36:37,627 --> 01:36:40,289
- Where you get that?
- This is a Sony Ericsson.
1409
01:36:40,463 --> 01:36:42,897
- It has Bluetooth?
- Of course it has Bluetooth.
1410
01:36:43,066 --> 01:36:45,399
I can never figure that
Bluetooth shit out, though.
1411
01:36:45,569 --> 01:36:48,163
Oh, no, it's very simple.
You sync it to your PowerBook.
1412
01:36:48,338 --> 01:36:50,966
- Tell her. Phantom will tell you.
- Mac or PC?
1413
01:36:51,642 --> 01:36:53,803
- Mac.
- You have MySpace?
1414
01:36:53,977 --> 01:36:56,208
The record company does.
It's not really mine.
1415
01:36:56,381 --> 01:36:59,350
Please, add me as a friend.
1416
01:37:00,151 --> 01:37:01,175
Sure, yeah, yeah.
1417
01:37:01,352 --> 01:37:04,344
Sure, as Huge Boner.
We'll add you tomorrow.
1418
01:37:04,556 --> 01:37:05,648
Michael, what is?
1419
01:37:05,824 --> 01:37:11,991
There's a bunch of guys and they are
lighting fires and it's getting pretty bad.
1420
01:37:14,400 --> 01:37:16,391
No. Stay where you are.
1421
01:37:16,569 --> 01:37:18,060
Yeah, we'll stay up here.
1422
01:37:18,605 --> 01:37:20,869
- What? Where you go?
- I have bigger fish to swim.
1423
01:37:21,041 --> 01:37:23,805
- Mariah, I love the newest album.
- Thank you.
1424
01:37:47,636 --> 01:37:50,161
The Zohan.
1425
01:37:53,610 --> 01:37:54,838
My pita shop.
1426
01:37:56,780 --> 01:37:58,008
They burned it down.
1427
01:38:11,395 --> 01:38:12,726
Why you do this?
1428
01:38:12,897 --> 01:38:15,526
We no do this. We at Hacky Sack
as much as the next guy.
1429
01:38:15,700 --> 01:38:19,466
And I wish that we should do this,
after you write that shit on my wall.
1430
01:38:21,473 --> 01:38:23,031
Across street!
1431
01:38:23,208 --> 01:38:25,734
- Waleed, Waleed. Look, Waleed!
- No. My store.
1432
01:38:25,912 --> 01:38:30,076
You people ruined my store.
You people ruined my store!
1433
01:38:35,288 --> 01:38:37,484
What I miss?
I was stuck on West Broadway.
1434
01:38:37,658 --> 01:38:40,286
The Israeli burned down my store!
1435
01:38:40,460 --> 01:38:41,757
No, no, no.
1436
01:38:41,929 --> 01:38:43,692
I save store.
1437
01:38:43,864 --> 01:38:46,458
Then I kill the Zohan.
1438
01:38:48,903 --> 01:38:51,428
Phantom, kick its ass.
1439
01:38:51,606 --> 01:38:52,937
Jab it to the right.
1440
01:38:53,107 --> 01:38:54,972
Stick and move, Phantom.
Stick and move.
1441
01:38:55,677 --> 01:38:58,168
He can't do this alone.
1442
01:39:01,617 --> 01:39:03,016
Don't back down. Kick its ass.
1443
01:39:26,410 --> 01:39:28,378
Phantom.
1444
01:39:32,150 --> 01:39:33,515
Why you help me?
1445
01:39:34,052 --> 01:39:37,249
Because I'm through with this.
1446
01:39:37,422 --> 01:39:38,719
I no more fight.
1447
01:39:40,225 --> 01:39:43,559
You do whatever you want,
but I no fight back.
1448
01:39:44,397 --> 01:39:46,558
It's trick, huh?
1449
01:39:46,733 --> 01:39:47,859
No.
1450
01:39:50,603 --> 01:39:53,071
- Fight back.
- No.
1451
01:39:53,239 --> 01:39:56,232
- Fight back!
- No.
1452
01:39:57,845 --> 01:39:58,971
Fight back, Zohan.
1453
01:39:59,146 --> 01:40:01,376
Fight him back. What are you doing?
Fight back.
1454
01:40:03,517 --> 01:40:04,575
No.
1455
01:40:04,752 --> 01:40:08,018
This is not fun for anybody.
1456
01:40:08,189 --> 01:40:09,554
Why you not fight back?
1457
01:40:09,724 --> 01:40:13,387
Because he know better.
He show you he change.
1458
01:40:13,795 --> 01:40:14,819
Sister?
1459
01:40:14,996 --> 01:40:16,988
When you gonna grow up, Fatoush?
1460
01:40:17,166 --> 01:40:18,360
Fatoush?
1461
01:40:18,534 --> 01:40:21,196
No, no, no Fatoush.
1462
01:40:21,370 --> 01:40:24,897
Is Phantom now.
And is my business.
1463
01:40:25,074 --> 01:40:27,703
Is my man, Fatoush.
1464
01:40:27,878 --> 01:40:29,345
You're my woman?
1465
01:40:29,513 --> 01:40:31,037
You Phantom's sister?
1466
01:40:31,214 --> 01:40:33,114
You tapping the Zohan?
1467
01:40:33,650 --> 01:40:35,481
You settle for a pee-pee touch?
1468
01:40:35,652 --> 01:40:38,884
I wouldn't say "settle."
It was negotiation.
1469
01:40:39,057 --> 01:40:40,285
Fatoush is talking.
1470
01:40:41,793 --> 01:40:44,956
Yes. I am Phantom's sister.
1471
01:40:46,397 --> 01:40:50,232
And, no, Fatoush,
I am not tapping the Zohan.
1472
01:40:50,402 --> 01:40:54,304
But I think I love him.
1473
01:40:56,775 --> 01:40:58,106
This is good.
1474
01:40:58,277 --> 01:41:00,939
Of course you love me.
I'm very good man.
1475
01:41:04,684 --> 01:41:08,085
Brother, here in America
we're the same.
1476
01:41:08,254 --> 01:41:12,122
We just people trying to get jobs
cutting hair, driving cabs...
1477
01:41:12,293 --> 01:41:14,284
...selling crappy stereo equipment.
1478
01:41:14,462 --> 01:41:16,555
- Hey. Is Sony guts.
- Whatever.
1479
01:41:16,731 --> 01:41:21,759
The point is, we are thousands
of miles away from all this hate...
1480
01:41:21,936 --> 01:41:24,599
...and we live together just fine.
1481
01:41:24,773 --> 01:41:26,331
We do.
1482
01:41:27,943 --> 01:41:29,103
We do.
1483
01:41:29,277 --> 01:41:34,180
Come on, people.
Where is the hate? Anyone?
1484
01:41:34,684 --> 01:41:36,515
- I resent.
- Resent is good.
1485
01:41:36,686 --> 01:41:37,983
What? What do you resent?
1486
01:41:38,154 --> 01:41:39,246
People don't like us.
1487
01:41:39,422 --> 01:41:42,516
Come on, is not easy for us.
People don't like us too.
1488
01:41:42,692 --> 01:41:46,322
- Why?
- Because they think we are you.
1489
01:41:47,798 --> 01:41:50,164
We do look alike.
You got to admit this. Come on.
1490
01:41:51,101 --> 01:41:53,695
Waleed looks Mexican, to be honest.
1491
01:41:54,905 --> 01:41:56,133
Yeah, he do.
1492
01:41:57,809 --> 01:41:59,868
You know, ever since
the stupid terrorists...
1493
01:42:00,045 --> 01:42:01,808
...everyone think we are terrorists.
1494
01:42:01,980 --> 01:42:03,880
Look, Bashir, no offense...
1495
01:42:04,049 --> 01:42:07,280
...but if you sat next to me on a plane,
I might want to get off too.
1496
01:42:10,222 --> 01:42:11,450
He's right.
1497
01:42:11,624 --> 01:42:16,061
But how could I not hate
when you stole my goat?
1498
01:42:16,896 --> 01:42:19,388
I am sorry about your goat.
1499
01:42:19,566 --> 01:42:23,400
He was a good goat.
I treat him like member of the family.
1500
01:42:24,938 --> 01:42:27,406
- Really?
- Yes.
1501
01:42:27,574 --> 01:42:30,635
Did you rub his chin?
1502
01:42:30,812 --> 01:42:32,780
Like this?
1503
01:42:32,947 --> 01:42:36,906
Yes, sometimes for hours.
He would make face if I stop.
1504
01:42:37,085 --> 01:42:38,575
He make the face?
1505
01:42:38,753 --> 01:42:41,621
Oh, the face. The face.
1506
01:42:41,790 --> 01:42:44,315
That's it, that's it.
That looks just like him.
1507
01:42:44,493 --> 01:42:48,156
As long as he was happy.
1508
01:42:48,330 --> 01:42:49,922
Is good. Very happy.
1509
01:42:52,836 --> 01:42:54,701
Holy shichumetz.
1510
01:42:54,871 --> 01:42:56,498
I see what is.
1511
01:42:59,908 --> 01:43:01,603
Those are cool. Who make this?
1512
01:43:28,974 --> 01:43:32,102
You see this? Bastard landlord.
1513
01:43:32,277 --> 01:43:33,676
He tell us go to Hacky Sack...
1514
01:43:33,845 --> 01:43:36,507
...so he can make it look like
we burn each other's store.
1515
01:43:36,681 --> 01:43:38,877
To make us look like we enemies.
1516
01:43:39,051 --> 01:43:40,575
This the real enemy.
1517
01:43:41,687 --> 01:43:44,053
I thought the whole place
was going down.
1518
01:43:44,223 --> 01:43:45,554
Oh, we're waiting on them, sir.
1519
01:43:45,725 --> 01:43:51,722
We're drawing them closer,
like a fat queer to a dick sandwich.
1520
01:43:53,400 --> 01:43:55,095
Aharon, get weapons from truck.
1521
01:43:55,269 --> 01:43:57,396
No, no, no.
I wanna minimize collateral damage.
1522
01:43:57,571 --> 01:43:59,436
- I do this alone.
- I do this alone.
1523
01:43:59,607 --> 01:44:01,507
- We do this together.
- I go myself.
1524
01:44:01,676 --> 01:44:05,669
No, no, no. Listen.
Come on, already, big guy.
1525
01:44:05,847 --> 01:44:08,008
Let it go.
We're on the same side, here.
1526
01:44:08,183 --> 01:44:10,048
Don't "big guy" me, big guy.
1527
01:44:10,218 --> 01:44:12,585
Look, you think I didn't want
to run like you did?
1528
01:44:12,755 --> 01:44:14,882
- Is no pressure here.
- What?
1529
01:44:15,057 --> 01:44:20,154
Listen, all I ever wanted since high
school was to go to States and...
1530
01:44:20,329 --> 01:44:23,595
- What?
- This hard to say.
1531
01:44:23,767 --> 01:44:25,860
Tell me, what is?
1532
01:44:27,337 --> 01:44:29,168
And sell shoes.
1533
01:44:29,339 --> 01:44:31,034
I love shoes.
1534
01:44:31,208 --> 01:44:34,975
No. That's great. I love to cut hair.
1535
01:44:35,146 --> 01:44:36,807
There is nothing wrong with that.
1536
01:44:36,981 --> 01:44:38,312
- Tell my parents.
- I hear you.
1537
01:44:38,483 --> 01:44:41,384
- They don't understand.
- Parents, they never do, huh?
1538
01:44:41,552 --> 01:44:44,920
- Never do. They think they're clever...
- You guys going, or what?
1539
01:44:45,457 --> 01:44:47,288
- Yes. Okay, we go.
- Yes. We go.
1540
01:44:47,459 --> 01:44:48,790
Come on, let's go.
1541
01:44:48,961 --> 01:44:50,656
Soup's on, boys.
1542
01:44:50,829 --> 01:44:52,660
Hell, yeah!
1543
01:44:57,570 --> 01:44:58,969
What kind of shoes you like?
1544
01:44:59,138 --> 01:45:01,834
You know, Rockport, Ferragamo,
the classics.
1545
01:45:07,314 --> 01:45:10,340
You should maybe try
Hugo Boss, huh?
1546
01:45:10,518 --> 01:45:12,645
No, no, no.
They always cover the toes.
1547
01:45:12,820 --> 01:45:14,845
You stylist,
you buy some style shoes.
1548
01:45:15,022 --> 01:45:18,186
Oh, yes, but I'm looking
for function too.
1549
01:45:18,360 --> 01:45:21,352
Try mine. It's Kenneth Cole.
1550
01:45:21,530 --> 01:45:23,464
Square toe.
1551
01:45:24,766 --> 01:45:25,892
It is nice.
1552
01:45:26,067 --> 01:45:28,297
This is a fashion
but you can wear to work also.
1553
01:45:29,505 --> 01:45:31,666
Yes. Hey, to be honest,
it's a little tight.
1554
01:45:31,841 --> 01:45:34,969
- Let me measure.
- lf you could.
1555
01:45:35,144 --> 01:45:37,169
I'm ready for you.
1556
01:45:37,346 --> 01:45:39,541
Okay, checking the width.
1557
01:45:39,715 --> 01:45:41,650
Triple E.
1558
01:45:41,818 --> 01:45:43,251
This is a big foot, huh?
1559
01:45:43,420 --> 01:45:44,546
You win again.
1560
01:45:44,721 --> 01:45:46,848
Is not a competition.
1561
01:45:47,024 --> 01:45:49,015
I do need to cut my nails.
1562
01:45:49,192 --> 01:45:51,092
We don't know
what set off this fight.
1563
01:45:51,262 --> 01:45:53,958
It's apparently between
Middle-Eastern merchants.
1564
01:45:54,132 --> 01:45:57,590
- Let's get some insight.
- They is no Middle East. Is all fake.
1565
01:45:57,769 --> 01:46:00,567
Is the landlord, the Walbridge guy.
He pay...
1566
01:46:00,738 --> 01:46:03,230
Excuse me.
Grant Walbridge, the developer?
1567
01:46:03,409 --> 01:46:04,501
Damn it!
1568
01:46:04,677 --> 01:46:07,840
Mariah Carey, I love you. I love you.
1569
01:46:08,013 --> 01:46:11,346
I find you, Mariah.
I come to where you are.
1570
01:46:11,517 --> 01:46:14,919
I love you too, horny little man.
Buy my new album.
1571
01:46:19,859 --> 01:46:21,986
Zohan. He has a bomb.
1572
01:46:23,830 --> 01:46:26,163
- And puppies.
- No.
1573
01:46:26,334 --> 01:46:27,824
I'm gonna blow up this block.
1574
01:46:28,002 --> 01:46:31,267
I'm gonna blow you up,
I'm gonna blow up these puppies...
1575
01:46:31,439 --> 01:46:34,840
...and we all going to hell together,
because I hate these puppies.
1576
01:46:35,009 --> 01:46:38,070
We have no time. We have to make
the sonic power, quick.
1577
01:46:38,246 --> 01:46:41,215
- You mean the sound?
- Yes.
1578
01:46:41,383 --> 01:46:45,683
But Arab and Jews have not made
sound for thousands of years.
1579
01:46:45,854 --> 01:46:48,722
- Now is time, my friend.
- Thirty seconds.
1580
01:46:48,891 --> 01:46:53,225
You can't do nothing about it,
Rabbi Towelhead.
1581
01:46:58,202 --> 01:47:00,670
No, no, no. Let me take the melody,
you go harmony.
1582
01:47:00,838 --> 01:47:02,703
- Yes. Okay, okay.
- Here we go.
1583
01:47:29,135 --> 01:47:32,105
Well, hello, stranger.
1584
01:47:32,272 --> 01:47:34,331
Care for some chips?
1585
01:47:36,443 --> 01:47:37,842
Puppies!
1586
01:47:38,011 --> 01:47:41,105
That dog is incredibly cute.
Did you bring that dog?
1587
01:47:41,281 --> 01:47:42,977
Barry Manilow
used to have a beagle...
1588
01:47:48,089 --> 01:47:52,526
Listen, I'm Grant Walbridge.
This is all a mistake and...
1589
01:47:58,434 --> 01:48:00,299
Keep it together. Keep it together.
1590
01:48:04,840 --> 01:48:06,866
No!
1591
01:48:08,244 --> 01:48:10,371
My life is ruined.
1592
01:48:10,547 --> 01:48:12,037
They were perfect.
1593
01:48:12,215 --> 01:48:13,842
The ratio.
1594
01:48:14,017 --> 01:48:15,279
Why?
1595
01:48:17,988 --> 01:48:19,649
No, no, no. Stop.
1596
01:48:23,027 --> 01:48:26,463
What the heck are you doing?
Why you do this?
1597
01:48:26,630 --> 01:48:29,998
Sorry. Sorry. I got excited.
1598
01:48:30,168 --> 01:48:33,262
Okay, we fix.
We make mall, but this...
1599
01:48:33,438 --> 01:48:36,896
It's fine. Yes, it's fine.
We'll be fine.
1600
01:48:37,075 --> 01:48:39,203
It's all b'seder.
1601
01:48:50,691 --> 01:48:53,922
Goat rides! Everybody, goat ride.
1602
01:48:54,094 --> 01:48:56,585
The most wonderful goat
in the world.
1603
01:49:00,734 --> 01:49:03,704
You come. Come, come. Come on.
Come on, now. Give ride.
1604
01:49:10,111 --> 01:49:12,444
I'm almost done.
1605
01:49:12,615 --> 01:49:15,106
- I love it.
- Yes, of course you do.
1606
01:49:15,284 --> 01:49:17,184
I had fun shampooing your hair...
1607
01:49:17,353 --> 01:49:20,550
...but I'd rather be licking it off
those melons.
1608
01:49:20,923 --> 01:49:22,447
I knew he had it in him.
1609
01:49:22,625 --> 01:49:25,754
Yeah, he sounds like his mother.
1610
01:49:25,929 --> 01:49:28,796
Maybe I'll bleach your nipples
and slap you in your face.
1611
01:49:28,965 --> 01:49:32,128
- Oh, now he's gone too far.
- That was disturbing. Too much.
1612
01:49:32,302 --> 01:49:34,999
Zohan?
Can you help this woman, please.
1613
01:49:35,173 --> 01:49:37,835
Of course, motek.
You know, if I was not married to you...
1614
01:49:38,009 --> 01:49:41,445
...this is the kind of bootachem
I would go all night long w...
1615
01:49:41,612 --> 01:49:43,239
Hello, Zohan.
1616
01:49:45,283 --> 01:49:48,276
So this is where you work?
1617
01:49:50,355 --> 01:49:52,323
Yes, Abba.
1618
01:49:52,491 --> 01:49:56,154
And this is your Palestinian wife?
1619
01:49:58,164 --> 01:49:59,654
Yes, Abba.
1620
01:50:01,501 --> 01:50:03,264
Does she know you're a fagala?
1621
01:50:05,438 --> 01:50:06,837
I see. This is because...
1622
01:50:07,006 --> 01:50:08,804
Congratulations.
1623
01:50:08,976 --> 01:50:10,671
Now, cut my hair.
1624
01:50:10,845 --> 01:50:13,109
Yes. Yes. Yes.
1625
01:50:13,280 --> 01:50:16,511
I love it. Please.