1
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,286
Hey, sleepy head!

2
00:01:15,525 --> 00:01:17,688
— You up?
— What time is it?

3
00:01:19,834 --> 00:01:20,995
Almost noon.

4
00:01:21,637 --> 00:01:23,503
I'm afraid you've got to go.

5
00:01:24,242 --> 00:01:26,371
— Excuse me?
— You've got to go.

6
00:01:26,513 --> 00:01:29,485
I have friends coming over
for brunch.

7
00:01:31,023 --> 00:01:32,582
What? In My apartment?

8
00:01:41,744 --> 00:01:42,803
Sorry.

9
00:01:44,349 --> 00:01:47,321
3 years and you still treat me
like a one-night stand!

10
00:02:03,255 --> 00:02:06,921
Babies! Sorry, I'm late.
I had to deal with James.

11
00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:08,723
James? I thought you
broke up with James.

12
00:02:08,865 --> 00:02:11,529
I did. He's just not
taking it very well.

13
00:02:11,671 --> 00:02:14,141
What? All alone in his big,
empty castle?

14
00:02:14,277 --> 00:02:15,438
Be nice.

15
00:02:15,579 --> 00:02:17,845
Anyway, I had to give
his ego CPR.

16
00:02:18,385 --> 00:02:19,853
How tiresome.
What did you say?

17
00:02:19,988 --> 00:02:21,354
Oh you know, how great he is,
how he's going to make

18
00:02:21,491 --> 00:02:23,255
the right girl so happy,
how it's really not him,

19
00:02:23,395 --> 00:02:25,261
— it's blah blah blah…
— And he believed you?

20
00:02:25,399 --> 00:02:28,165
Of course not!
So then I had to fuck him.

21
00:02:28,305 --> 00:02:29,364
Right.

22
00:02:30,208 --> 00:02:31,267
Where's Peter?

23
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,369
Babies, we missed you
at brunch!

24
00:02:47,509 --> 00:02:49,775
Sorry, I had to finish
1500 words for Empire.

25
00:02:49,915 --> 00:02:51,577
— Talullah sends her love.
— How is she?

26
00:02:51,719 --> 00:02:54,189
In love! With this Jamaican model
I set her up with.

27
00:02:54,323 --> 00:02:56,589
Apparently, he shags her
4 times a day

28
00:02:56,729 --> 00:02:58,698
and inspires her to write
volumes of new poetry!

29
00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:01,303
— Isn't that great?
— No, I hate Talullah's poetry.

30
00:03:01,438 --> 00:03:03,806
Speaking of shags,
how was your date with Doug?

31
00:03:04,243 --> 00:03:06,178
— Fine.
— Fine? Just fine?

32
00:03:06,315 --> 00:03:07,282
Look, Jacks!

33
00:03:07,417 --> 00:03:09,683
I really appreciate you
trying to set me up with Doug

34
00:03:09,821 --> 00:03:11,187
And Phil and John.

35
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,386
— What's wrong with Doug?
— Nothing, I just…

36
00:03:13,529 --> 00:03:14,792
I just don't see much of
a future together.

37
00:03:14,931 --> 00:03:16,695
How do you know that
after one dinner?

38
00:03:16,835 --> 00:03:18,497
Maybe because we have
nothing in common?

39
00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:20,505
That's not true.
You're an artist, Doug's an artist.

40
00:03:20,643 --> 00:03:21,610
Doug's a florist!

41
00:03:21,745 --> 00:03:23,213
He's a horticultural designer.

42
00:03:23,349 --> 00:03:25,512
Yeah, whose 'life goal' is
to create a sculpture of

43
00:03:25,653 --> 00:03:28,215
Princess Diana entirely of
bougainvillea.

44
00:03:28,359 --> 00:03:29,418
You are such a snob!

45
00:03:29,561 --> 00:03:31,427
I am not a snob!
I have hay fever.

46
00:03:31,565 --> 00:03:32,624
I'd be allergic to Doug's work.

47
00:03:32,767 --> 00:03:34,531
Look, Doug deserves better
than me.

48
00:03:34,671 --> 00:03:36,834
You're never going to find
anyone with that attitude.

49
00:03:36,976 --> 00:03:38,842
What attitude?
I'm just being realistic.

50
00:03:38,947 --> 00:03:41,315
If you're realistic,
then I'm the Queen of England.

51
00:03:41,452 --> 00:03:44,014
Hey! I'm the Queen of England!

52
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:46,525
Hello, your Majesty!

53
00:04:20,497 --> 00:04:22,558
Oh Daphne, you poor thing!

54
00:04:22,701 --> 00:04:24,465
Of course, I'll deal
with the shoot.

55
00:04:25,207 --> 00:04:26,675
I can handle Sasha.

56
00:04:27,411 --> 00:04:31,077
OK. Lots of love, big kiss.
Bye bye.

57
00:04:32,421 --> 00:04:35,484
Since when do you say 'lots of
love, big kiss' to your boss?

58
00:04:35,627 --> 00:04:37,893
Since Daphne's going through
a nasty divorce.

59
00:04:38,033 --> 00:04:39,899
She needs positive affirmation.

60
00:04:41,039 --> 00:04:42,098
Babies, what's wrong?

61
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,709
Nothing.
I'm just a little nervous.

62
00:04:43,844 --> 00:04:45,312
He's meant to have
a ferocious temper.

63
00:04:45,447 --> 00:04:46,379
Who?

64
00:04:46,516 --> 00:04:49,282
Marvin Bernstein.
The man I'm interviewing today.

65
00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,688
Since when do you get nervous
about celebrity profiles?

66
00:04:51,827 --> 00:04:54,799
Since we're not talking about
some two-bit British TV presenter.

67
00:04:54,933 --> 00:04:57,495
Marvin Bernstein is
a living legend!

68
00:04:57,639 --> 00:04:59,301
The man's produced some of
the best films

69
00:04:59,442 --> 00:05:00,501
in the last 20 years!

70
00:05:00,645 --> 00:05:02,614
He's a giant among
the film industry!

71
00:05:02,749 --> 00:05:05,117
— A giant?
— Maybe I should call in sick.

72
00:05:05,253 --> 00:05:06,721
Maybe that's what's
bothering you.

73
00:05:06,857 --> 00:05:07,824
That I'm not feeling well?

74
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:09,825
No, that Marvin Bernstein
reminds you

75
00:05:09,963 --> 00:05:12,525
that these celebrity profiles
are meant to pay the rent.

76
00:05:12,669 --> 00:05:14,638
While you're focusing on
your screenplays.

77
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,243
Can we not talk about my
nonexistent film career right now?

78
00:05:17,379 --> 00:05:19,109
I'm feeling small enough
as it is.

79
00:05:25,561 --> 00:05:27,120
Babies? Just remember.

80
00:05:27,265 --> 00:05:32,036
Marvin Bernstein may be a giant.
But You are a giant in waiting.

81
00:05:32,175 --> 00:05:34,041
Yes, yes I am.

82
00:05:34,179 --> 00:05:36,240
— I have no idea what that means.
— Neither do I.

83
00:05:48,207 --> 00:05:49,971
I'm here to see
Mr. Marvin Bernstein.

84
00:05:50,111 --> 00:05:51,579
— Your name?
— Peter Simon.

85
00:05:53,484 --> 00:05:56,250
Peter Simon.
Any relation to Neil?

86
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:56,947
Excuse me?

87
00:05:57,092 --> 00:06:00,462
Neil Simon! Great writer.
You a great writer?

88
00:06:00,598 --> 00:06:01,861
Oh, I don't know.

89
00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:03,367
You'd know if you were great.

90
00:06:04,206 --> 00:06:06,768
Mr Bernstein?
Kenneth Branagh on line 2.

91
00:06:06,911 --> 00:06:08,675
Kenneth Branagh!
Another great writer!

92
00:06:08,815 --> 00:06:09,874
Kenny B!

93
00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:13,389
I loved the script!
I loved it!

94
00:06:13,525 --> 00:06:14,584
Fuckin' brilliant dialogue!

95
00:06:18,134 --> 00:06:20,000
Well, hat's off to
Shakespeare then!

96
00:06:20,138 --> 00:06:21,902
— No answer.
— What?

97
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:26,778
I said no answer in
Mr. Bernstein's room.

98
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:29,582
Oh, right.

99
00:06:30,325 --> 00:06:32,386
Fine. I'll just wait.

100
00:06:32,530 --> 00:06:33,589
Please.

101
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,523
OK, ladies, arms around
each other.

102
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:50,028
OK, now, Jade look into
BenG's eyes, please.

103
00:06:50,165 --> 00:06:52,431
Thank you very much, OK.
No! With love.

104
00:06:52,570 --> 00:06:53,936
Pandora. How's it going?

105
00:06:54,073 --> 00:06:57,136
Oh, you know, BenG hates Jade.
Jade hates BenG.

106
00:06:57,279 --> 00:06:58,838
And Sasha hates everyone.

107
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:00,315
Nothing like a happy set.

108
00:07:03,458 --> 00:07:04,721
Hello? I'm waiting!

109
00:07:05,662 --> 00:07:08,132
Paolo, when I have to ask for it,
it's too late!

110
00:07:09,771 --> 00:07:11,535
Who's the cutie?

111
00:07:11,976 --> 00:07:15,244
Sasha's latest squeeze.
Argentinean.

112
00:07:15,382 --> 00:07:18,843
Apparently, Sasha picked him up
at lpanema Beach.

113
00:07:18,990 --> 00:07:22,156
Amazing how Sasha always finds
his 'assistants' at the beach.

114
00:07:22,296 --> 00:07:23,263
Isn't it?

115
00:07:23,398 --> 00:07:26,461
I suppose it allows him to
examine their 'qualifications'.

116
00:07:38,094 --> 00:07:38,958
Talullah? What's wrong?

117
00:07:39,096 --> 00:07:41,157
Oh God! I just had
a huge row with Freedom

118
00:07:41,302 --> 00:07:42,166
and I think it's over.

119
00:07:42,304 --> 00:07:44,068
OK, I'm in the middle of
a shoot…

120
00:07:44,207 --> 00:07:46,176
Oh God! I feel like dying!

121
00:07:46,312 --> 00:07:48,680
OK. Tell me exactly
what happened.

122
00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:50,877
Well, he came over
and we shagged.

123
00:07:51,021 --> 00:07:53,082
And then I asked him
what he thought about monogamy.

124
00:07:53,225 --> 00:07:55,388
You don't talk about monogamy
After you shag a guy…

125
00:07:55,530 --> 00:07:57,796
— No, no but he said he liked monogamy.
— He did?

126
00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:02,205
Then he said he also likes
oak and pine and maple…

127
00:08:02,344 --> 00:08:03,710
So he's got a sense of humour.

128
00:08:03,847 --> 00:08:05,110
Monogamy is not a laughing matter.

129
00:08:05,249 --> 00:08:07,776
If Freedom ever cheated on me,
I don't think I could go on!

130
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:09,584
Talullah! You've known
the guy for a week.

131
00:08:09,726 --> 00:08:11,889
Stop talking like you're
in some kind of a movie.

132
00:08:12,030 --> 00:08:13,692
I can't help it.
I'm naturally dramatic.

133
00:08:13,834 --> 00:08:15,496
Excuse me.
Sasha needs you.

134
00:08:15,637 --> 00:08:17,903
Oh, right.
I'll be right there.

135
00:08:19,746 --> 00:08:23,116
— Who is that?
— Sasha's assistant. He's gay.

136
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:24,116
— What?
— Gay!

137
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,916
— How can you tell?
— Trust me.

138
00:08:26,058 --> 00:08:27,321
I have the best gaydar
in London.

139
00:08:27,461 --> 00:08:29,123
That boy gay as a goose.

140
00:08:30,868 --> 00:08:32,530
Lucky fucking geese.

141
00:08:35,778 --> 00:08:36,837
Excuse me, sir.

142
00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:40,419
We've just got word Mr. Bernstein
had to fly back to New York.

143
00:08:41,556 --> 00:08:43,924
Oh, right. Thank you.

144
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:58,952
I'm so sorry!

145
00:08:59,092 --> 00:09:00,355
I'm so sorry.

146
00:09:06,306 --> 00:09:07,968
Now you love her!
Feed a grape.

147
00:09:08,110 --> 00:09:10,171
With love! Real love!
Excellent!

148
00:09:10,314 --> 00:09:11,782
And crush a grape on her mouth.

149
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:15,053
Excellent!
Make it sexy! More sexy!

150
00:09:15,190 --> 00:09:16,351
Make the grape sexy!

151
00:09:16,493 --> 00:09:19,659
Yes! Yes! And kiss her.
On the mouth.

152
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,261
Excellent! Sexy love!
Yeah, I think we have it!

153
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:33,689
Jacks, would it be all right
if I borrowed an outfitjust for tonight?

154
00:09:33,828 --> 00:09:34,989
I kind of have a date.

155
00:09:35,130 --> 00:09:37,396
— A date? With who?
— Oh, just this guy.

156
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,095
I mean, I'm not sure
it's even technically a date.

157
00:09:39,238 --> 00:09:40,102
It's just dinner.

158
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,508
Pandora. Pick out the sexiest
outfit and go home immediately!

159
00:09:43,648 --> 00:09:45,914
— But what about the wrap?
— I'll cover for you!

160
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,385
What's more important?
True love or fashion?

161
00:09:47,522 --> 00:09:48,489
It's just a dinner…

162
00:09:48,624 --> 00:09:49,488
OK. Let me rephrase that.

163
00:09:49,626 --> 00:09:51,789
What's more important,
anything or fashion?

164
00:09:51,931 --> 00:09:52,898
Thanks, Jacks.

165
00:09:53,534 --> 00:09:55,093
Paolo, querido.

166
00:09:55,238 --> 00:09:57,207
Dinner, 9 o'clock, Nobu.
Don't be late.

167
00:09:57,342 --> 00:09:58,605
I can't face them on my own.

168
00:09:58,744 --> 00:10:00,713
— No problem.
— Gracias, carino!

169
00:10:05,658 --> 00:10:07,719
Katie from Purple will be
picking these up in the morning.

170
00:10:07,862 --> 00:10:08,921
Alright.

171
00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:12,729
James!

172
00:10:15,879 --> 00:10:16,938
How was your day?

173
00:10:27,469 --> 00:10:29,530
— Anybody home?
— In here!

174
00:10:29,674 --> 00:10:32,042
So how'd it go with
the legendary giant?

175
00:10:32,479 --> 00:10:34,847
— It didn't. He stood me up.
— I'm sorry, Babies.

176
00:10:34,984 --> 00:10:36,350
Why are you reading
a cookbook in the nude?

177
00:10:36,487 --> 00:10:37,546
It's 'The Naked Chef.'

178
00:10:37,690 --> 00:10:40,058
— What? You're keeping him company?
— I'm waiting for the shower.

179
00:10:40,194 --> 00:10:42,460
You're almost out of shampoo
so I had to use soap.

180
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,368
— Oh hi, Peter.
— Hello, James. How are you?

181
00:10:46,508 --> 00:10:49,878
— Good, yes. You?
— Yes, good. Thanks.

182
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:52,947
Well, I better be off.

183
00:10:53,689 --> 00:10:55,750
My flight's at 9
and I've still got to pack.

184
00:10:56,795 --> 00:10:57,854
Right.

185
00:10:58,598 --> 00:11:00,362
— I'll call you when I land.
— Have fun in New York!

186
00:11:00,502 --> 00:11:01,469
Thank you.

187
00:11:01,604 --> 00:11:03,266
— Bye, Peter.
— Bye, James.

188
00:11:11,424 --> 00:11:12,483
Jacks?

189
00:11:14,430 --> 00:11:15,591
What are you doing?

190
00:11:15,733 --> 00:11:18,203
Reading this delicious recipe
for Beetroot Salad

191
00:11:18,338 --> 00:11:20,204
with marjoram
and balsamic vinegar dressing!

192
00:11:20,342 --> 00:11:22,710
— What are you doing with James?
— Nothing.

193
00:11:22,847 --> 00:11:24,713
You broke up with him
a month ago!

194
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,186
I know, it's just sex.
He fills a void.

195
00:11:27,323 --> 00:11:28,085
Literally.

196
00:11:28,225 --> 00:11:29,693
I don't see how you expect
to meet someone new

197
00:11:29,828 --> 00:11:31,694
if you spend all your time
with your ex.

198
00:11:31,832 --> 00:11:32,891
Good point!

199
00:11:33,034 --> 00:11:34,400
Maybe I should get back
together with James

200
00:11:34,537 --> 00:11:36,199
so I spend less time with him.

201
00:11:36,942 --> 00:11:38,410
I don't think it's funny.

202
00:11:38,545 --> 00:11:39,706
Neither do I.

203
00:11:39,848 --> 00:11:42,114
What's the point of shagging
someone ad nauseam

204
00:11:42,253 --> 00:11:43,516
if you know you're never
going to love them?

205
00:11:43,656 --> 00:11:44,817
It's not so simple.

206
00:11:44,958 --> 00:11:47,326
He's in love with you, Jacks.
You're not in love with him.

207
00:11:47,463 --> 00:11:48,522
It doesn't get more simple than that.

208
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,832
That's not fair! I happen to
care about James. A lot.

209
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,941
And I hate the fact
that he feels more than me.

210
00:11:54,076 --> 00:11:55,942
And I hate the fact
that I'm not in love with him.

211
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,343
Because I know I should be.

212
00:11:57,484 --> 00:12:00,114
Because he's smart and sweet
and decent

213
00:12:00,255 --> 00:12:01,814
and I don't want to hurt him.

214
00:12:01,959 --> 00:12:04,020
So I keep hoping that
I'll grow into it.

215
00:12:04,163 --> 00:12:06,929
That maybe one day
I'll wake up and I'll feel…

216
00:12:07,069 --> 00:12:09,038
— What?
— In love!

217
00:12:09,174 --> 00:12:11,542
You know, dizzy and
feverish and nauseous…

218
00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,238
That's not love, Jacks.
That's the flu.

219
00:12:13,382 --> 00:12:15,248
Well, at least I'm trying!
You big cynic.

220
00:12:15,386 --> 00:12:16,547
I'm not a cynic!

221
00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:18,453
When's the last time you even
considered falling in love?

222
00:12:18,593 --> 00:12:19,754
Today!

223
00:12:19,895 --> 00:12:22,764
I'm not talking about some
character in a novel or a movie.

224
00:12:22,901 --> 00:12:23,960
Neither am I.

225
00:12:25,507 --> 00:12:27,773
— What?
— What?

226
00:12:27,912 --> 00:12:29,973
What? Peter!

227
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,583
So, tell me everything!
What's his name?

228
00:12:33,289 --> 00:12:34,655
David Williams.

229
00:12:34,792 --> 00:12:38,253
— David Williams, and?
— And what?

230
00:12:38,399 --> 00:12:41,860
And, who is he?
Where'd you meet him?

231
00:12:42,007 --> 00:12:43,669
How'd you meet?
Tell me everything!

232
00:12:45,113 --> 00:12:46,172
Well…

233
00:12:46,315 --> 00:12:48,979
I was on my way out of the hotel.
And he was walking in.

234
00:12:50,523 --> 00:12:53,187
He had these two paintings under his arm
and a Sotheby's catalogue

235
00:12:53,329 --> 00:12:56,301
and we just sort of bumped
into each other.

236
00:12:56,435 --> 00:12:58,199
I can't explain it, but…

237
00:12:59,642 --> 00:13:00,803
It was amazing.

238
00:13:00,945 --> 00:13:04,315
Because it was like I was
finally seeing the person.

239
00:13:04,452 --> 00:13:06,786
I'd been waiting for
my entire life.

240
00:13:08,327 --> 00:13:10,889
Oh my God!
That's so romantic!

241
00:13:12,435 --> 00:13:14,404
So when do I get to meet him?

242
00:13:16,343 --> 00:13:17,606
Right after I do?

243
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:20,106
— What?
— Well… We didn't actually meet.

244
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:21,912
Per se. As it were…

245
00:13:22,355 --> 00:13:24,221
But you know his name.

246
00:13:24,359 --> 00:13:26,625
Yes, it was on
the Sotheby's catalogue.

247
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,631
He dropped it
and I picked it up.

248
00:13:31,172 --> 00:13:32,936
And you didn't say anything?

249
00:13:33,877 --> 00:13:35,038
You didn't speak?

250
00:13:43,363 --> 00:13:46,027
And this is the person you
think you could be in love with?

251
00:13:46,169 --> 00:13:49,038
Someone that you've never
even spoken to?

252
00:13:49,175 --> 00:13:50,234
Someone that you've
never even met?

253
00:13:50,377 --> 00:13:52,243
Look, Jacks, I know
it sounds crazy.

254
00:13:52,381 --> 00:13:53,849
I just…

255
00:13:54,787 --> 00:13:56,848
I really think he's the one.

256
00:13:58,995 --> 00:14:00,361
Of course he is…

257
00:14:11,420 --> 00:14:12,581
I don't think I can face this.

258
00:14:12,723 --> 00:14:15,250
Of course you can!
We're here to support Finlay!

259
00:14:15,395 --> 00:14:16,954
Besides, you can't stay
at home every night,

260
00:14:17,098 --> 00:14:19,159
pining for someone
you've never even met!

261
00:14:19,303 --> 00:14:20,362
Thank you.

262
00:14:31,227 --> 00:14:33,891
I thought this whole dead
animal thing was 10 years ago.

263
00:14:34,032 --> 00:14:35,796
In formaldehyde, yes.

264
00:14:35,935 --> 00:14:38,098
But Finlay says this stuff
isn't preserved.

265
00:14:38,241 --> 00:14:41,007
— It rots right in front of your eyes!
— Nice!

266
00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:44,913
Where is Fin anyway?
Say our hellos before I turn vegan.

267
00:14:46,157 --> 00:14:47,284
Hello? Hello.

268
00:14:47,425 --> 00:14:50,089
I'm Finlay McMillan
and I would like to

269
00:14:50,231 --> 00:14:52,793
welcome all of you
to Unicorn & Gallagher's

270
00:14:52,937 --> 00:14:53,996
LIFE IS DEATH exhibit.

271
00:14:54,139 --> 00:14:56,803
Freedom, get me a glass of champagne.
My throat's parched.

272
00:14:57,747 --> 00:14:58,714
Do I look like a slave?

273
00:14:58,849 --> 00:15:00,613
Before I introduce
the artist himself,

274
00:15:00,753 --> 00:15:05,421
Talullah Wentworth has very kindly
agreed to read one of her poems.

275
00:15:05,563 --> 00:15:06,929
Talullah Wentworth!

276
00:15:09,671 --> 00:15:11,037
God help us!

277
00:15:11,173 --> 00:15:14,042
I think it's sweet.
Talullah wanting to be Sylvia Plath.

278
00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:16,240
Well, she should fast forward
and find an oven.

279
00:15:17,687 --> 00:15:18,654
Thank you, Finlay.

280
00:15:18,789 --> 00:15:24,528
And thank you Unicorn for
this truly moving exhibit!

281
00:15:25,369 --> 00:15:29,639
I'd like to dedicate this poem
to Finlay's lover

282
00:15:29,777 --> 00:15:32,441
and my best friend,
Troy Johnson,

283
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,644
who's birthday it is today!

284
00:15:35,789 --> 00:15:38,055
Troy would have loved
to come tonight,

285
00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:41,463
but thanks to the conspiracy
of silence

286
00:15:41,601 --> 00:15:43,969
between the Catholic Church
and the Tories

287
00:15:44,107 --> 00:15:46,475
in the face of Aids, he can't.

288
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:48,580
Because he's dead.

289
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:51,584
— I'm not drunk enough for this.
— Neither is Finlay.

290
00:15:54,494 --> 00:15:55,553
MEAT.

291
00:15:56,899 --> 00:16:01,567
Big black dick
in nice soft chick.

292
00:16:01,709 --> 00:16:04,373
I never knew
the thrill I'd feel,

293
00:16:04,514 --> 00:16:07,178
knowing how you had to steal.

294
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,486
You dangled your worm,
I took the bait.

295
00:16:10,627 --> 00:16:13,690
This fish is caught.
It's only fate.

296
00:16:14,434 --> 00:16:19,604
DIE DIE DIE
White lmperialist Pigs.

297
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:23,411
Aristocracy is pale and weak.

298
00:16:23,553 --> 00:16:26,217
You can't kill my love.

299
00:16:26,359 --> 00:16:30,196
He's black.
He's MEAT.

300
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,524
Jacks! What are you doing here?

301
00:16:45,663 --> 00:16:48,635
I just came back to
make sure you're OK.

302
00:16:48,770 --> 00:16:50,933
— I'm fine. Sure.
— Yeah?

303
00:16:51,776 --> 00:16:53,244
Yeah! Absolutely.

304
00:16:55,383 --> 00:16:57,649
I just hate this day,
you know?

305
00:16:57,788 --> 00:16:59,051
10 years.

306
00:16:59,959 --> 00:17:01,621
How come I still miss
him so much?

307
00:17:01,762 --> 00:17:04,426
Because you are an amazing
human being.

308
00:17:04,568 --> 00:17:07,038
And because he was
an amazing human being.

309
00:17:07,174 --> 00:17:09,542
And because I'm a silly
old queen.

310
00:17:09,678 --> 00:17:10,737
That too.

311
00:17:12,484 --> 00:17:14,750
— Thanks, Jacks.
— For what?

312
00:17:14,889 --> 00:17:16,357
For always remembering.

313
00:17:16,492 --> 00:17:18,655
And for being there for me.
For all of us.

314
00:17:18,797 --> 00:17:21,359
I'm a superficial assistant
at a major fashion magazine.

315
00:17:21,502 --> 00:17:23,266
You'll ruin my reputation.

316
00:17:23,406 --> 00:17:24,965
Come on.
I'll give you a ride home.

317
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,169
Besides, I need your help
with Peter.

318
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:27,780
He's fallen madly in love.

319
00:17:27,915 --> 00:17:30,283
— Yeah? With who?
— I don't know. Neither does he.

320
00:17:30,421 --> 00:17:31,480
Right!

321
00:17:33,092 --> 00:17:35,562
Speaking of boyfriends,
how's what's his name?

322
00:17:35,698 --> 00:17:37,257
— You mean Freedom?
— Freedom.

323
00:17:37,401 --> 00:17:39,667
— What kind of name is Freedom?
— Jamaican, darling.

324
00:17:39,806 --> 00:17:42,675
— Why didn't he come to brunch?
— We had a row about his car.

325
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,576
I told him I don't generally
get into vehicles

326
00:17:44,716 --> 00:17:46,184
that cost less than my handbag.

327
00:17:46,319 --> 00:17:48,083
And he accused me of
being a spoiled bitch

328
00:17:48,223 --> 00:17:50,089
who's only in love
with his skin color.

329
00:17:50,227 --> 00:17:51,695
Which is surprisingly
insightful for someone

330
00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:53,696
who's stoned 24 hours a day.

331
00:17:53,834 --> 00:17:57,000
— Oh, and the creep keeps calling.
— What creep?

332
00:17:57,141 --> 00:17:59,509
From the phone company.
His name's Tony.

333
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:02,412
He calls me 5 times a day
begging me to go out with him.

334
00:18:02,552 --> 00:18:04,521
Apparently my voice haunts him.

335
00:18:04,656 --> 00:18:07,092
You have an obscene caller
from British Telecom?

336
00:18:07,228 --> 00:18:09,391
I told her she should
report him to the police.

337
00:18:09,532 --> 00:18:13,301
I would, but he promised me
free broadband.

338
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,999
— What is broadband?
— Hi, guys, sorry I'm late.

339
00:18:15,144 --> 00:18:16,612
— Hi, Fin. How are you?
— Hello, darling!

340
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:18,306
Hi, just a cappuccino please.

341
00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:20,419
So, I made a few calls
and I'm pretty certain

342
00:18:20,554 --> 00:18:21,316
it's who I thought.

343
00:18:21,456 --> 00:18:22,218
Are you serious?

344
00:18:22,358 --> 00:18:25,124
Well, he was definitely at
the Chancery Hotel last Monday.

345
00:18:25,264 --> 00:18:26,926
— Oh, my God!
— What are we talking about?

346
00:18:27,068 --> 00:18:28,434
Finlay's figured out
who Peter fell in love

347
00:18:28,571 --> 00:18:29,230
with last week.

348
00:18:29,372 --> 00:18:32,036
He was at the Chancery Hotel,
monday morning, seeing a client!

349
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,646
— Who was?
— David Williams!

350
00:18:33,781 --> 00:18:36,149
— You know the guy I bumped into?
— I know David!

351
00:18:36,286 --> 00:18:37,652
I love biblical names.

352
00:18:37,789 --> 00:18:40,123
I used to have a cat
named David. King David!

353
00:18:40,261 --> 00:18:42,527
— What's he like?
— He's dead, fell out of a tree.

354
00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:44,635
He's head of Sotheby's
Contemporary Art Department.

355
00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:48,140
He's smart, charming, kind.
Attractive, as you know.

356
00:18:48,278 --> 00:18:50,042
All the rich ladies
have crushes on him!

357
00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:51,648
During his auctions,
they all try and outbid

358
00:18:51,784 --> 00:18:52,751
each otherjust to impress him!

359
00:18:52,886 --> 00:18:54,548
I bet my Mother's one of
those rich old women.

360
00:18:54,690 --> 00:18:55,953
— Is he gay?
— He's gay!

361
00:18:56,092 --> 00:18:56,956
So was my cat.

362
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,657
Actually, I can't believe
I haven't tried to fix you up ages ago.

363
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:00,767
He's perfect for you!

364
00:19:00,902 --> 00:19:03,372
And he was very intrigued by
what I told him.

365
00:19:03,508 --> 00:19:05,569
What you told him?
What did you tell him?

366
00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:06,771
Nothing.

367
00:19:08,919 --> 00:19:09,783
OK, everything.

368
00:19:09,921 --> 00:19:11,184
— But he was really flattered.
— Oh God!

369
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:13,259
— There's no way I can meet him now.
— What? Why not?

370
00:19:13,394 --> 00:19:14,453
Because it's too set up!

371
00:19:14,596 --> 00:19:16,759
There's no way he'll be
into me knowing I'm so into him.

372
00:19:16,902 --> 00:19:18,666
David's not like that!
Trust me!

373
00:19:18,806 --> 00:19:20,365
I have to agree with Peter.

374
00:19:20,508 --> 00:19:22,374
I think accidental meets
are much better.

375
00:19:22,512 --> 00:19:25,278
Take me and Freedom.
We met in a launderette.

376
00:19:25,418 --> 00:19:27,888
After I told you
he was going to be there!

377
00:19:28,926 --> 00:19:31,294
Which isn't to say
accidents can't be planned.

378
00:19:47,028 --> 00:19:48,189
Are you OK?

379
00:19:49,032 --> 00:19:50,091
I'm fine.

380
00:19:50,436 --> 00:19:52,497
I'm always like this
when I have to see my mother.

381
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,006
Would you rather not go?

382
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,412
No, don't be silly!

383
00:19:56,548 --> 00:19:58,210
This is your big night!

384
00:19:58,352 --> 00:20:01,221
Besides Mother loves you.
She loves this David.

385
00:20:01,358 --> 00:20:04,524
Her theme song is
'Matchmaker, Matchmaker.'

386
00:20:06,668 --> 00:20:09,936
Do you want a brownie?
I made them myself.

387
00:20:11,178 --> 00:20:12,237
Thank you.

388
00:20:14,484 --> 00:20:15,850
These are very good.

389
00:20:15,987 --> 00:20:18,253
Yes, they've got quite
a lot of hash in them.

390
00:20:23,168 --> 00:20:24,534
Talullah! What's wrong?

391
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,444
Freedom's having an affair.

392
00:20:28,579 --> 00:20:30,947
An affair?
You've only been going out for 2 weeks!

393
00:20:31,084 --> 00:20:32,643
Who's he having an affair with?

394
00:20:33,489 --> 00:20:36,552
Me, I just found out
he's married.

395
00:20:52,026 --> 00:20:54,758
— Are you OK?
— Oh! Yes, fine.

396
00:20:54,899 --> 00:20:58,463
I just lost my keys
and they're playing hard to get.

397
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:00,567
Tada!

398
00:21:00,710 --> 00:21:03,579
We haven't met properly.
I'm Paolo Sarmiento by the way.

399
00:21:03,716 --> 00:21:04,775
Emily Jackson.

400
00:21:04,919 --> 00:21:06,888
But all my friends
just call me 'Jacks.'

401
00:21:07,023 --> 00:21:10,189
OK. All my friends
just call me Paolo.

402
00:21:11,332 --> 00:21:12,391
OK.

403
00:21:12,534 --> 00:21:14,595
You look very beautiful.

404
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:19,205
Oh! Well, I'm going to this
black tie thing for my roommate.

405
00:21:19,348 --> 00:21:21,317
Well, it's not exactly
for my roommate.

406
00:21:21,452 --> 00:21:24,014
But… I mean, thanks.

407
00:21:25,460 --> 00:21:26,519
Take care.

408
00:21:26,829 --> 00:21:28,092
Can I give you a lift?

409
00:21:28,232 --> 00:21:29,393
Oh! That's OK.

410
00:21:29,535 --> 00:21:31,197
I have to meet Sasha
in Bloomsbury so…

411
00:21:31,339 --> 00:21:32,500
That's where I'm headed!

412
00:21:33,142 --> 00:21:34,405
OK.

413
00:21:34,645 --> 00:21:36,307
— Get in!
— Thank you.

414
00:21:45,467 --> 00:21:47,630
Oh, Talullah! There you are!

415
00:21:47,772 --> 00:21:49,741
This is Klaus Fassbinder.

416
00:21:49,876 --> 00:21:51,640
Klaus, this is
my daughter Talullah.

417
00:21:51,780 --> 00:21:53,248
And this is her best friend, Paul.

418
00:21:53,383 --> 00:21:55,649
— It's Peter, Mother!
— It's all right.

419
00:21:55,788 --> 00:21:58,350
Darling, you could have
worn something nicer.

420
00:21:58,494 --> 00:22:00,623
You could have worn something.
Full stop.

421
00:22:01,667 --> 00:22:05,231
Sorry, Fassbinder, are you
related to the director?

422
00:22:05,374 --> 00:22:08,437
— Who?
— Oh, never mind.

423
00:22:08,580 --> 00:22:10,846
Mrs. Wentworth, thank you
so much for this invitation.

424
00:22:10,985 --> 00:22:13,251
Oh please! Call me Felicity!

425
00:22:13,390 --> 00:22:14,949
David is perfect
for you, darling!

426
00:22:15,093 --> 00:22:18,065
I can't think why I didn't
set you two up earlier!

427
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,568
So, you're Felicity's daughter?

428
00:22:20,705 --> 00:22:22,868
Only by birth.
So don't hold it against me.

429
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:25,070
Donatella!
Excuse me.

430
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:31,183
Whoever designed those heels
must really hate women.

431
00:22:31,827 --> 00:22:33,762
I designed those heels.

432
00:22:34,599 --> 00:22:36,158
And thank goodness you did!

433
00:22:36,303 --> 00:22:39,275
Otherwise Mother's arse
would be dusting the floor.

434
00:22:44,820 --> 00:22:47,290
So how long have you
and Sasha been together?

435
00:22:47,425 --> 00:22:48,289
3 months.

436
00:22:48,427 --> 00:22:50,293
Really?
How did you two meet?

437
00:22:51,433 --> 00:22:54,894
— It's a bit embarrassing actually.
— Oh go on. Tell me.

438
00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:58,410
We met at a beach party
at lpanema.

439
00:23:00,151 --> 00:23:03,020
Sasha wanted to take my picture.
I said no.

440
00:23:03,157 --> 00:23:05,218
He pestered me.
And one thing led to another.

441
00:23:05,361 --> 00:23:06,522
And…

442
00:23:07,432 --> 00:23:08,695
Well, here I am.

443
00:23:08,835 --> 00:23:10,896
Sasha's a wonderful photographer.

444
00:23:11,039 --> 00:23:12,405
Yes. So everyone says.

445
00:23:12,543 --> 00:23:14,307
You're not interested in
photography?

446
00:23:14,446 --> 00:23:17,816
Oh, very much.
I studied it at university.

447
00:23:17,953 --> 00:23:21,722
But I'm more into reportage.
Capturing real moments.

448
00:23:21,861 --> 00:23:23,727
Sasha's brilliant at capturing
real moments.

449
00:23:23,865 --> 00:23:24,924
Don't you think?

450
00:23:26,270 --> 00:23:27,533
Not really.

451
00:23:27,673 --> 00:23:30,839
I think Sasha's brilliant
at creating moments.

452
00:23:30,979 --> 00:23:32,538
Most of which aren't real.

453
00:23:32,683 --> 00:23:34,447
But then again,
fashion isn't real,

454
00:23:34,587 --> 00:23:37,456
so maybe he's capturing
reality after all.

455
00:23:37,593 --> 00:23:38,560
What do you think?

456
00:23:40,967 --> 00:23:43,836
I think people shouldn't bite
the hand that feeds them.

457
00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:46,232
Excuse me?

458
00:23:46,377 --> 00:23:49,543
I mean, thanks to a chance
encounter at a beach party,

459
00:23:49,683 --> 00:23:52,552
you hook up with one of
the world's top fashion photographers.

460
00:23:52,689 --> 00:23:54,750
First class travel,
exotic locations.

461
00:23:54,895 --> 00:23:57,161
You really hit quite the jackpot.

462
00:23:57,299 --> 00:23:58,460
You think that's why I'm with him?

463
00:23:58,601 --> 00:24:01,265
Well, it's obviously not
out of respect for his work.

464
00:24:02,009 --> 00:24:03,978
Do you always judge people
so quickly?

465
00:24:04,113 --> 00:24:05,080
I'm notjudging you.

466
00:24:05,215 --> 00:24:06,182
No?

467
00:24:06,317 --> 00:24:08,183
Then maybe you're judging Sasha.

468
00:24:08,321 --> 00:24:09,482
You seem to think
the only reason

469
00:24:09,624 --> 00:24:12,186
someone might be with him is
for this 'jackpot.'

470
00:24:15,903 --> 00:24:16,962
This is fine.

471
00:24:22,317 --> 00:24:23,376
Thanks for the ride.

472
00:24:30,633 --> 00:24:34,094
I would like to welcome you
all to this year's

473
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:38,111
'Fashion Against the lmpending
Threat of Global Warming.'

474
00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:45,728
There is nothing more important
right now, than global poverty.

475
00:24:45,863 --> 00:24:49,393
I mean in the warming sense.

476
00:24:49,537 --> 00:24:52,007
Actually, I was just talking
to Donatella.

477
00:24:52,744 --> 00:24:55,716
— Sorry, I'm late. So is he here?
— Not yet.

478
00:24:55,851 --> 00:24:57,513
— Where's Talullah?
— In the bathroom.

479
00:24:57,653 --> 00:24:59,919
She's been eating large
quantities of hash brownies.

480
00:25:00,059 --> 00:25:01,026
— Again?
— Yeah.

481
00:25:01,161 --> 00:25:05,329
So with no further ado,
I would like to introduce

482
00:25:05,469 --> 00:25:07,335
any available
British celebrity!

483
00:25:09,077 --> 00:25:12,538
I mean…
Angus Deaton!

484
00:25:24,174 --> 00:25:26,143
— Bitch!
— Wanker!

485
00:25:26,278 --> 00:25:28,544
Thank you and thank you
to Felicity for all her.

486
00:25:28,683 --> 00:25:33,249
Jacks! You look so pretty!

487
00:25:33,393 --> 00:25:36,456
I think you're very,
very pretty Jacks.

488
00:25:36,599 --> 00:25:37,965
Thank you, Talullah.

489
00:25:38,102 --> 00:25:39,866
I think you're very pretty too.

490
00:25:40,005 --> 00:25:42,567
But not as pretty as
Freedom's wife!

491
00:25:42,711 --> 00:25:44,772
I'm sure you're far prettier
than Freedom's wife.

492
00:25:44,915 --> 00:25:47,283
You're just saying that
because you're a POOF!

493
00:25:47,421 --> 00:25:49,390
Talullah!
What's wrong with you?

494
00:25:49,525 --> 00:25:50,686
Genetics.

495
00:25:51,829 --> 00:25:54,459
— Hello, Jones.
— It's Jacks, Mother!

496
00:25:54,602 --> 00:25:57,870
— You look lovely!
— Thank you. So do you!

497
00:25:58,009 --> 00:25:59,068
I don't!

498
00:25:59,211 --> 00:26:00,873
I'm pasty white.

499
00:26:02,317 --> 00:26:04,286
Why wasn't I born black?

500
00:26:04,722 --> 00:26:07,284
OK, first up then
we have an outfit called

501
00:26:07,427 --> 00:26:11,298
Ice Dream donated by
Klaus Fassbinder!

502
00:26:13,741 --> 00:26:17,111
Let's start the bidding.
If you would at 1,000 pounds.

503
00:26:17,247 --> 00:26:17,906
Thank you, sir.

504
00:26:18,049 --> 00:26:20,417
David's flight from New York
must have been delayed.

505
00:26:20,555 --> 00:26:22,616
But he should be here
at any minute.

506
00:26:23,561 --> 00:26:25,622
He was very intrigued by
what I told him!

507
00:26:25,765 --> 00:26:27,393
What, what you told him?

508
00:26:27,535 --> 00:26:29,299
You know, about how you saw
him at the hotel

509
00:26:29,439 --> 00:26:32,411
and it was love at first sight!
And what a catch you are.

510
00:26:32,545 --> 00:26:35,517
How it's about time you found
yourself a nice boyfriend!

511
00:26:37,355 --> 00:26:38,721
You told him all that?

512
00:26:39,559 --> 00:26:41,927
He seemed very flattered Paul!

513
00:26:42,064 --> 00:26:43,726
1,500 pounds.

514
00:26:43,867 --> 00:26:47,932
Any advance on 1,500 pounds?

515
00:26:48,076 --> 00:26:50,945
Going once, going twice…

516
00:26:51,083 --> 00:26:53,553
10,000 pounds!

517
00:26:55,291 --> 00:26:59,060
10,000 pounds!

518
00:26:59,199 --> 00:27:00,633
Don't touch the dress!

519
00:27:02,071 --> 00:27:04,234
Any advance on 10,000 pounds.

520
00:27:04,877 --> 00:27:06,140
No?

521
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,648
Going once. Going twice!

522
00:27:09,787 --> 00:27:11,153
10,000 pounds!

523
00:27:17,402 --> 00:27:20,271
I was only joking.
I was just kidding!

524
00:27:21,611 --> 00:27:26,075
I was only joking.
It was a joke.

525
00:27:27,121 --> 00:27:28,180
Charity!

526
00:27:38,310 --> 00:27:40,576
Hello?
Oh, hi James.

527
00:27:40,716 --> 00:27:43,482
— Do I live here?
— No, I live here.

528
00:27:43,621 --> 00:27:45,283
Oh, how do you do?

529
00:27:51,938 --> 00:27:53,999
Oh, Peter, I feel so bad.

530
00:27:54,143 --> 00:27:55,304
C'mon, drink this.

531
00:27:55,445 --> 00:27:56,708
No, I mean about you.

532
00:27:56,848 --> 00:28:00,309
Not getting to meet
Robbie Williams because of me.

533
00:28:00,455 --> 00:28:01,514
It's OK.

534
00:28:11,845 --> 00:28:16,411
#I'm loving angels instead…

535
00:28:16,554 --> 00:28:18,717
— How's our patient?
— She'll live.

536
00:28:18,859 --> 00:28:21,922
— Well, I have great news!
— Oh yes, what?

537
00:28:22,065 --> 00:28:24,934
— You know James is in New York.
— Yes, that is great news.

538
00:28:25,071 --> 00:28:28,532
Who guess he ran into at one of
the Art Auctions over there.

539
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,944
— Who?
— David Williams!

540
00:28:32,085 --> 00:28:34,851
OK! Please, please tell me
he didn't say anything!

541
00:28:34,991 --> 00:28:37,052
— Was he not meant to say anything?
— Oh, my god!

542
00:28:37,196 --> 00:28:38,562
News of my crush has just
travelled across

543
00:28:38,699 --> 00:28:39,860
the Atlantic Ocean!

544
00:28:40,001 --> 00:28:42,733
David Williams must think
I'm a needy, desperate freak!

545
00:28:42,874 --> 00:28:45,640
Well, there's no point in pretending
to be something you're not!

546
00:28:47,383 --> 00:28:48,749
Where do you think you're going?

547
00:28:49,186 --> 00:28:51,850
I just remembered.
I need a pedicure.

548
00:28:51,992 --> 00:28:55,955
Talullah. I think just this once,
you should paint your own toenails.

549
00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:57,568
Don't be ridiculous!

550
00:28:57,704 --> 00:29:01,268
I need a lot more incentive
to bend over that far.

551
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:07,388
There's nail polish here.

552
00:29:07,524 --> 00:29:11,088
— Oh, are we at the salon?
— Yes.

553
00:29:32,841 --> 00:29:35,107
— Ready for lunch?
— Sure am!

554
00:29:35,246 --> 00:29:37,409
Is everything OK?

555
00:29:37,550 --> 00:29:39,918
Oh yeah. Fine.
T-cells unchanged.

556
00:29:40,056 --> 00:29:41,422
Liver holding up.
Everything's great.

557
00:29:41,559 --> 00:29:43,927
So despite your fragile beauty,
you're actually built like an ox.

558
00:29:44,064 --> 00:29:45,031
Go figure.

559
00:29:45,166 --> 00:29:46,930
Did you hear the news
about David?

560
00:29:47,070 --> 00:29:49,097
Yes. Talullah's Mother told me
he never even showed.

561
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,004
Which actually proves
my theory he must think

562
00:29:51,144 --> 00:29:52,008
I'm a stalker freak.

563
00:29:52,146 --> 00:29:54,309
I'm sure he doesn't think that.

564
00:29:54,452 --> 00:29:57,218
Fin, in 3 short weeks he's heard
about my desperate obsession

565
00:29:57,358 --> 00:29:59,624
from you, from Talullah's mother,
and now from James,

566
00:29:59,762 --> 00:30:01,128
all the way in New York!

567
00:30:01,265 --> 00:30:02,324
Read this!

568
00:30:03,970 --> 00:30:05,836
David didn't show because
he had to stay in New York.

569
00:30:05,974 --> 00:30:08,843
Because he was promoted to
Sotheby's New York office.

570
00:30:08,980 --> 00:30:09,947
Satisfied?

571
00:30:11,386 --> 00:30:13,447
I can't believe I drove him
out the country.

572
00:30:13,590 --> 00:30:14,649
Come on.

573
00:30:23,878 --> 00:30:24,935
Jacks.

574
00:30:26,379 --> 00:30:27,845
Have you ever thought
this whole 'true love' thing

575
00:30:27,981 --> 00:30:29,038
might be a conspiracy?

576
00:30:29,182 --> 00:30:31,649
— A conspiracy?
— Yeah, a capitalist conspiracy.

577
00:30:31,785 --> 00:30:35,345
A lie concocted by the Film,
Publishing and Music industries.

578
00:30:35,487 --> 00:30:38,250
All pushing this thing, this
concept that doesn't even exist!

579
00:30:38,390 --> 00:30:40,254
True love doesn't exist?

580
00:30:40,693 --> 00:30:41,659
Well, think about it.

581
00:30:41,794 --> 00:30:43,761
Where is it besides songs,
books and films?

582
00:30:43,896 --> 00:30:46,864
I mean, who can honestly say
'I will always love you? '

583
00:30:46,998 --> 00:30:49,056
— Whitney Houston?
— Yeah, when she's high on crack.

584
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,565
The point is, Everyone's miserable
because they're looking for

585
00:30:51,703 --> 00:30:53,670
this nonexistent 'thing,'
or else they're miserable

586
00:30:53,805 --> 00:30:55,738
because they think they've
settled for less.

587
00:30:55,873 --> 00:30:58,340
I'm not miserable.
And I believe in true love.

588
00:30:58,475 --> 00:31:01,034
Yeah, which is why you're still
sleeping with your ex-boyfriend.

589
00:31:01,178 --> 00:31:03,441
'Breakfast at Tiffany's' is on.
Wanna watch?

590
00:31:03,580 --> 00:31:06,742
I just told you films have
destroyed my ability to love.

591
00:31:06,883 --> 00:31:08,349
I thought that was your mother.

592
00:31:08,984 --> 00:31:10,746
Good point. Shove over.

593
00:31:18,894 --> 00:31:20,554
This is your favorite film?

594
00:31:20,695 --> 00:31:22,161
Look at me. Can't you tell?

595
00:31:50,690 --> 00:31:52,054
— Where's Daphne?
— Out.

596
00:31:52,191 --> 00:31:53,748
Can I give her a message?

597
00:31:53,892 --> 00:31:55,950
These are the contact sheets
from the shoot.

598
00:31:56,094 --> 00:31:57,060
I've marked my selects.

599
00:31:57,195 --> 00:31:59,253
Tell Daphne my assistant
Paolo is handling the retouching,

600
00:31:59,397 --> 00:32:01,227
so if she needs any other prints,
she can call him at the lab.

601
00:32:01,366 --> 00:32:02,024
OK.

602
00:32:02,167 --> 00:32:04,930
And if she needs me,
I'll be at my boyfriend's in Paris.

603
00:32:05,069 --> 00:32:07,536
— Paolo?
— What about him?

604
00:32:07,972 --> 00:32:09,734
Paolo isn't your boyfriend?

605
00:32:09,874 --> 00:32:12,535
Why would you think
he was my boyfriend?

606
00:32:12,676 --> 00:32:15,337
I just assumed.
Talking to Paolo.

607
00:32:15,479 --> 00:32:17,241
— Really?
— I'm sorry.

608
00:32:18,181 --> 00:32:19,943
No need to be sorry, carino!

609
00:32:20,083 --> 00:32:22,846
You're not the first person
who gets this impression from Paolo.

610
00:32:22,986 --> 00:32:26,546
To be honest, I think maybe
he had a little crush on me.

611
00:32:26,689 --> 00:32:30,647
I'm very flattered of course,
and if I wasn't already involved.

612
00:32:30,793 --> 00:32:32,453
But, you know,
it's all about timing, no?

613
00:32:32,594 --> 00:32:35,528
And right now, I have a train
to catch! Ciao ciao!

614
00:32:38,267 --> 00:32:39,733
Ciao, ciao.

615
00:32:49,777 --> 00:32:51,437
These look great.

616
00:32:51,578 --> 00:32:52,737
Paolo.

617
00:32:54,181 --> 00:32:56,444
Look, I'm sorry about
the other night.

618
00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:59,642
Sasha told me everything
and I feel like an idiot.

619
00:33:00,587 --> 00:33:02,144
Could you please forgive me?

620
00:33:03,789 --> 00:33:04,846
Yes.

621
00:33:05,491 --> 00:33:06,354
You don't know me.

622
00:33:06,492 --> 00:33:08,721
If you did, you'd know
I'd never take advantage of Sasha.

623
00:33:09,662 --> 00:33:10,923
Anyway. I should go.

624
00:33:11,764 --> 00:33:12,821
Have a good weekend.

625
00:33:14,265 --> 00:33:15,322
You, too.

626
00:33:25,175 --> 00:33:28,143
— So how do I get to know you?
— What?

627
00:33:28,278 --> 00:33:30,837
— How about over a cup of coffee?
— A cup of coffee?

628
00:33:30,981 --> 00:33:32,538
It's the least I could do
after the other day!

629
00:33:32,683 --> 00:33:35,947
Besides, we can't have you all
alone in London on a Friday night!

630
00:33:36,085 --> 00:33:37,847
You make me sound like
an exchange student.

631
00:33:37,987 --> 00:33:39,954
— I didn't mean it like that.
— No?

632
00:33:40,089 --> 00:33:43,216
Then why else would someone like
you want to have a coffee with me?

633
00:33:43,359 --> 00:33:44,416
Someone like me?

634
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,720
It's OK. Really.
I forgive you.

635
00:33:46,862 --> 00:33:50,422
So you can stop feeling sorry
for me or guilty or whatever.

636
00:33:50,565 --> 00:33:52,725
I'm sure you have better things
to do on a Friday night.

637
00:33:55,570 --> 00:34:00,029
Actually, 'someone like me' has
nothing to do on a Friday night. OK?

638
00:34:00,174 --> 00:34:03,142
Oh, but wait, now you're going to
say 'someone like me'

639
00:34:03,277 --> 00:34:06,837
only wants to have
coffee with you

640
00:34:06,981 --> 00:34:09,540
because I've got nothing
better to do.

641
00:34:09,682 --> 00:34:13,811
I just can't win can I?
Never mind.

642
00:34:13,953 --> 00:34:18,013
To tell you the truth,
'someone like me' hates coffee.

643
00:34:18,157 --> 00:34:20,021
I hate coffee too.

644
00:34:20,959 --> 00:34:22,516
Este…

645
00:34:22,661 --> 00:34:24,423
Where did you learn to
speak Spanish like that?

646
00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:27,122
What? Not what you'd expect
from 'someone like me? '

647
00:34:27,866 --> 00:34:29,230
I find you very confusing.

648
00:34:29,368 --> 00:34:32,336
So does my boyfriend.
My ex-boyfriend.

649
00:34:34,372 --> 00:34:35,838
Do you want to get a drink?

650
00:34:35,973 --> 00:34:37,439
There's this amazing place
near here.

651
00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:39,337
Tonight's South American night.

652
00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:45,746
OK. But only because I feel
sorry for myself,

653
00:34:45,882 --> 00:34:47,815
and I know you must feel guilty.

654
00:34:50,553 --> 00:34:53,316
I really appreciate you
seeing me on such short notice.

655
00:34:53,456 --> 00:34:54,820
Finlay thinks the world of you.

656
00:34:54,957 --> 00:34:57,424
And I think THE WORLD of Finlay!

657
00:35:00,663 --> 00:35:02,129
Yes, well…

658
00:35:02,264 --> 00:35:05,232
He said you really sorted him
out on the relationship front.

659
00:35:05,366 --> 00:35:07,526
And I could certainly use
some help there.

660
00:35:07,669 --> 00:35:11,331
You see I've never actually
been in a relationship

661
00:35:11,472 --> 00:35:12,631
except in my own head.

662
00:35:12,774 --> 00:35:14,240
And how long did that last?

663
00:35:14,876 --> 00:35:17,343
— What?
— The relationship in your head.

664
00:35:18,178 --> 00:35:19,735
No. I mean,
it's an ongoing problem.

665
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:23,610
They only last in my head.
For varying amounts of time.

666
00:35:23,750 --> 00:35:25,808
So you have a problem
with monogamy?

667
00:35:26,353 --> 00:35:30,618
No, no that.
No, that's not my problem.

668
00:35:30,756 --> 00:35:34,521
Denial is not a river in Egypt!

669
00:35:35,161 --> 00:35:38,618
Not a river in Egypt.
D'you see what I did there?

670
00:35:38,763 --> 00:35:42,220
Just that's a little therapistjoke.
Doesn't always work.

671
00:35:42,367 --> 00:35:44,334
— OK, right. Paul?
— Peter.

672
00:35:44,469 --> 00:35:46,026
— Sorry?
— Peter.

673
00:35:46,171 --> 00:35:49,333
Peter. Peter. Yes, it is.
You're absolutely right. Peter.

674
00:35:49,474 --> 00:35:52,840
That's a good start.
Well done you!

675
00:35:52,977 --> 00:35:54,409
I think I can help you.

676
00:35:54,545 --> 00:35:56,512
— You do?
— I do.

677
00:35:56,647 --> 00:35:59,308
I think you are stuck in
that pre relationship

678
00:35:59,450 --> 00:36:02,612
moment of infatuation
and you need to be reminded

679
00:36:02,752 --> 00:36:06,517
that a real relationship has
many, many, many more stages.

680
00:36:06,656 --> 00:36:08,418
Stages. I like that.

681
00:36:08,558 --> 00:36:13,017
Relationships are best measured
by farting.

682
00:36:14,463 --> 00:36:15,429
Excuse me?

683
00:36:15,564 --> 00:36:19,124
The stages of a relationship
can be defined by farting.

684
00:36:19,267 --> 00:36:22,133
Stage 1 is the conspiracy of silence.

685
00:36:22,270 --> 00:36:26,137
This is a fantasy period
where both parties pretend

686
00:36:26,273 --> 00:36:28,900
that they have no bodily waste.

687
00:36:29,043 --> 00:36:31,704
This illusion is very quickly
shattered by that first shy

688
00:36:31,846 --> 00:36:36,509
'ooh did you fart? ' followed by
the sheepish admission of truth.

689
00:36:36,649 --> 00:36:39,811
This heralds a period of
deeper intimacy.

690
00:36:39,953 --> 00:36:43,718
A period I like to call
the 'fart honeymoon'.

691
00:36:43,857 --> 00:36:47,917
Where both parties find each
other's gas just the cutest thing

692
00:36:48,060 --> 00:36:49,526
in the world.

693
00:36:49,661 --> 00:36:53,426
But of course no honeymoon
can last forever.

694
00:36:55,067 --> 00:36:59,025
And so we reach the critical
fork in the fart.

695
00:36:59,170 --> 00:37:02,798
Either the fart loses its power
to amuse and embarrass,

696
00:37:02,940 --> 00:37:06,306
thereby signifying
true love or else,

697
00:37:06,444 --> 00:37:09,901
it begins to annoy and disgust.

698
00:37:10,047 --> 00:37:15,109
Thereby symbolizing all
that is blocked and rancid

699
00:37:15,252 --> 00:37:16,809
in the formerly beloved.

700
00:37:16,953 --> 00:37:18,510
Do you see what I'm getting at?

701
00:37:19,855 --> 00:37:22,618
Peter? Peter?

702
00:37:22,758 --> 00:37:23,815
Earth to Peter?

703
00:37:23,959 --> 00:37:24,515
— What?
— Sorry I'm late.

704
00:37:24,660 --> 00:37:27,025
I was talking to Tony.

705
00:37:27,163 --> 00:37:28,129
Who's Tony?

706
00:37:28,264 --> 00:37:31,130
You know. Tony.
From the phone company.

707
00:37:31,266 --> 00:37:33,130
You're seeing your
obscene phone caller?

708
00:37:33,268 --> 00:37:34,996
Of course I'm not
'seeing him', darling.

709
00:37:35,136 --> 00:37:38,195
We're having a strictly
phone-based relationship.

710
00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:39,498
So what's going on?

711
00:37:40,542 --> 00:37:42,805
Finlay thinks I should
see his therapist.

712
00:37:42,943 --> 00:37:44,102
Finlay sees a therapist?

713
00:37:44,244 --> 00:37:47,007
Yeah, some woman he says is
really good with relationships.

714
00:37:47,147 --> 00:37:48,511
Maybe I should see her.

715
00:37:48,649 --> 00:37:51,617
I think I need to get in touch
with my inner child.

716
00:37:52,252 --> 00:37:53,912
Talullah, if you get in touch
with your inner child

717
00:37:54,053 --> 00:37:55,519
you're going to need
an inner nanny.

718
00:37:55,655 --> 00:37:58,214
Oh, I don't trust nannies.
They're all whores!

719
00:37:58,357 --> 00:38:00,620
— What about Mary Poppins?
— Slut!

720
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:02,420
What are you talking about?

721
00:38:02,562 --> 00:38:04,529
She left the convent,
married Christopher Plummer,

722
00:38:04,664 --> 00:38:06,722
and then took all his children
up the Alps.

723
00:38:08,133 --> 00:38:10,396
Speaking of The Sound of Music,
where's Jacks?

724
00:38:15,740 --> 00:38:18,207
The riots completely
shut down Buenos Aires.

725
00:38:18,342 --> 00:38:19,899
It was unbelievable!

726
00:38:20,044 --> 00:38:22,409
The whole country,
rich, poor, young, old,

727
00:38:22,546 --> 00:38:24,706
everyone for this one moment,
came together.

728
00:38:24,849 --> 00:38:27,817
— These are incredible!
— The moment was incredible.

729
00:38:27,951 --> 00:38:29,713
You captured the moment.

730
00:38:29,853 --> 00:38:32,912
My friend Finlay owns an art gallery.
I'd love to show these to him.

731
00:38:33,056 --> 00:38:35,114
— That's very kind of you but…
— Very kind of me? What?

732
00:38:35,258 --> 00:38:36,918
You think you're some
kind of charity case?

733
00:38:37,060 --> 00:38:40,222
— No, but… I just…
— Don't tell me you're afraid.

734
00:38:41,230 --> 00:38:42,287
I'm afraid you're drunk.

735
00:38:42,431 --> 00:38:43,692
Because I think you're talented?

736
00:38:43,832 --> 00:38:46,391
Because you've had
3 caiperinhas.

737
00:38:47,836 --> 00:38:51,293
— Do you know how to tango?
— Yeah. Why?

738
00:38:51,439 --> 00:38:53,406
Because, everyone knows
you can't be drunk and tango.

739
00:38:53,541 --> 00:38:55,405
So if I can tango,
then I'm not drunk.

740
00:38:55,543 --> 00:38:59,205
And I get to show your pictures
to Finlay.

741
00:38:59,347 --> 00:39:01,314
Well, then you're right
and I won't tell a soul.

742
00:39:04,151 --> 00:39:05,208
Tambien…

743
00:39:33,044 --> 00:39:35,102
So about my friend Finlay.

744
00:40:13,547 --> 00:40:15,514
— So tell me your secret.
— What secret?

745
00:40:15,649 --> 00:40:18,014
How an American can speak
like a Spaniard and dance

746
00:40:18,152 --> 00:40:19,413
like an Argentinean.

747
00:40:20,453 --> 00:40:22,477
— I'm not American.
— No?

748
00:40:22,622 --> 00:40:25,784
Well, not technically.
I was born in England.

749
00:40:25,925 --> 00:40:28,484
My Father was English.
My Mother was Spanish.

750
00:40:28,628 --> 00:40:32,188
I grew up with my Mother's
family in America.

751
00:40:32,331 --> 00:40:34,195
After my parents died.

752
00:40:38,737 --> 00:40:42,001
How old were you
when you moved to America?

753
00:40:42,140 --> 00:40:43,198
Five.

754
00:40:43,342 --> 00:40:45,810
— I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry.
— It's not that.

755
00:40:46,745 --> 00:40:50,511
It's just I don't want to be
one of those awful characters

756
00:40:50,650 --> 00:40:55,280
out of a movie that gushes out
their past while the violins play.

757
00:40:56,724 --> 00:40:59,887
I mean I had a bad age five.

758
00:41:00,028 --> 00:41:02,496
I had a terrible age five,
actually.

759
00:41:03,332 --> 00:41:07,996
But all in all, since then,
my life's been pretty blessed.

760
00:41:21,854 --> 00:41:24,220
— So do you live alone?
— No, I live with Peter.

761
00:41:24,357 --> 00:41:27,292
— Oh? Your boyfriend?
— Oh God no! He's my best friend.

762
00:41:27,427 --> 00:41:30,794
We went to college together.
He's gay.

763
00:41:30,931 --> 00:41:32,398
All the good ones are…

764
00:41:35,337 --> 00:41:38,101
You should meet him actually.
He's a brilliant writer.

765
00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:40,208
Screenplays.
Well, that's the goal at least.

766
00:41:40,343 --> 00:41:43,312
He's just the sweetest,
funniest, kindest guy I know.

767
00:41:43,446 --> 00:41:45,414
If he wasn't gay, I'd have
married him years ago.

768
00:41:45,549 --> 00:41:47,414
— He sounds wonderful.
— He is!

769
00:41:49,453 --> 00:41:51,011
What are you doing tomorrow?

770
00:41:51,156 --> 00:41:53,920
Tomorrow? Nothing.

771
00:41:54,059 --> 00:41:55,321
You wanna have dinner?

772
00:41:56,062 --> 00:41:57,120
Oh, sure!

773
00:41:57,263 --> 00:41:59,424
Great!
Come over at 8!

774
00:42:02,536 --> 00:42:03,696
Ta da!

775
00:42:04,538 --> 00:42:06,506
Well, I had an amazing
time tonight.

776
00:42:06,641 --> 00:42:07,699
Me, too.

777
00:42:09,143 --> 00:42:10,201
Bye!

778
00:42:20,156 --> 00:42:22,317
I've never been for a walk
in the morning before.

779
00:42:22,460 --> 00:42:24,121
At least, not since I've been
in New York…

780
00:42:24,462 --> 00:42:25,724
— Hey, babies!
— Hi!

781
00:42:25,863 --> 00:42:27,831
— What are you doing?
— Watching 'Breakfast at Tiffany's.'

782
00:42:27,966 --> 00:42:29,831
— Again?
— Yeah, I'm doing research.

783
00:42:29,968 --> 00:42:31,333
Stop doing research
and would you write

784
00:42:31,471 --> 00:42:32,938
your goddamn screenplay!

785
00:42:33,072 --> 00:42:35,506
Did you realize, in the book,
the male character's gay?

786
00:42:35,641 --> 00:42:37,199
That's why they have such
an amazing friendship.

787
00:42:37,344 --> 00:42:38,902
Because she feels safe with him.

788
00:42:39,046 --> 00:42:42,504
Whereas in the film, he's straight
and she just wears gorgeous hats.

789
00:42:42,650 --> 00:42:46,609
Speaking of gorgeous, I just met
the cutest Argentinean boy.

790
00:42:46,755 --> 00:42:48,017
Oh, yeah?

791
00:42:48,157 --> 00:42:49,920
He's absolutely gorgeous.

792
00:42:50,059 --> 00:42:52,823
And sweet and smart.
And an amazing tango dancer!

793
00:42:52,963 --> 00:42:54,430
That's very useful
in today's world.

794
00:42:54,564 --> 00:42:57,533
Who also happens to be
an exceptionally talented photographer.

795
00:42:57,668 --> 00:43:00,330
Oh! Does this mean
we're finally over James?

796
00:43:00,471 --> 00:43:02,837
— James? He's gay!
— James is gay?!

797
00:43:02,975 --> 00:43:05,136
No, Paolo.
Paolo is gay.

798
00:43:05,277 --> 00:43:08,212
He's been assisting for Sasha,
you know the fashion photographer

799
00:43:08,348 --> 00:43:10,509
and I thought that they were,
you know, sleeping together

800
00:43:10,650 --> 00:43:11,617
but now they're not.

801
00:43:11,751 --> 00:43:14,015
And he really wants to meet you.
He doesn't know anyone in London.

802
00:43:14,155 --> 00:43:15,816
And I told him that you'd
have dinner with him…

803
00:43:15,956 --> 00:43:17,719
— What?
— Tomorrow. It'll be good for you.

804
00:43:17,858 --> 00:43:19,325
It'll take your mind off.

805
00:43:19,461 --> 00:43:21,929
Jacks! There is absolutely
no way I am going

806
00:43:22,063 --> 00:43:23,530
on another blind date.
The answer's no!

807
00:43:26,669 --> 00:43:27,829
Paolo! Hi!

808
00:43:27,970 --> 00:43:29,335
Come in! Come in!

809
00:43:30,474 --> 00:43:32,135
I'm afraid I'm running late!

810
00:43:32,276 --> 00:43:35,143
Oh, these are lovely,
but Peter hates flowers.

811
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,144
We'll pretend they're for me.

812
00:43:36,281 --> 00:43:37,646
Can I get you something to drink?

813
00:43:37,782 --> 00:43:39,044
Champagne?

814
00:43:39,185 --> 00:43:40,516
Sure.

815
00:43:40,653 --> 00:43:42,120
So, how was your Saturday?

816
00:43:42,855 --> 00:43:43,913
— Paolo?
— What?

817
00:43:44,056 --> 00:43:45,819
What did you do today?

818
00:43:45,959 --> 00:43:48,120
Oh, yeah.
I went to the Tate.

819
00:43:48,261 --> 00:43:50,627
The Museum.
The Tate Modern Museum.

820
00:43:50,765 --> 00:43:52,630
— Your first time?
— Yep.

821
00:43:52,767 --> 00:43:54,325
And? What did you think?

822
00:43:54,469 --> 00:43:57,529
I mean, it's pretty
amazing visually. Right?

823
00:43:57,673 --> 00:43:59,231
The way it's built.

824
00:43:59,374 --> 00:44:01,842
Isn't itjust visually stunning?

825
00:44:01,978 --> 00:44:03,240
Don't you think, Paolo?

826
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:05,042
Yeah!

827
00:44:05,182 --> 00:44:07,548
Paolo, I can't hear you.
Can you come back here?

828
00:44:07,685 --> 00:44:09,152
I don't want to have to scream.

829
00:44:15,761 --> 00:44:18,229
So what else did you?
After the Tate Modern?

830
00:44:18,364 --> 00:44:20,628
I'm sorry, I didn't…
I'll just close the door.

831
00:44:20,767 --> 00:44:21,529
Oh, it's fine!

832
00:44:21,668 --> 00:44:23,329
Peter and I always have
our best conversations

833
00:44:23,470 --> 00:44:24,334
when I'm in the bath.

834
00:44:24,471 --> 00:44:25,733
— Peter?
— Jacks?

835
00:44:25,874 --> 00:44:27,034
Shit!

836
00:44:27,175 --> 00:44:29,040
— Jacks!
— I'll be right out!

837
00:44:29,177 --> 00:44:31,543
— Is that Peter?
— No. James. Do me a favour.

838
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:32,840
Go out and tell him
I'll be out in 5.

839
00:44:32,982 --> 00:44:34,347
And close the door behind you.

840
00:44:39,990 --> 00:44:42,049
Hi, sorry, I…
Jacks is in the bath.

841
00:44:42,193 --> 00:44:43,660
She says she'll be out in 5.

842
00:44:43,794 --> 00:44:45,659
— Who are you?
— Paolo Sarmiento.

843
00:44:45,796 --> 00:44:47,229
I, I work with Jacks.

844
00:44:48,967 --> 00:44:51,231
— James!
— Peter. Hi.

845
00:44:51,370 --> 00:44:53,930
— Hello?
— Hi, Peter. I'm Paolo.

846
00:44:54,073 --> 00:44:54,937
Paolo. Hi.

847
00:44:55,074 --> 00:44:57,133
Hi! I've heard so much about you.

848
00:44:57,278 --> 00:44:58,336
Really?

849
00:44:59,079 --> 00:45:02,048
— Where's, where's Jacks?
— In the bath, apparently.

850
00:45:02,183 --> 00:45:04,947
Right. Excuse me for a second?

851
00:45:14,598 --> 00:45:16,759
— What's he doing here?
— He just flew back from New York.

852
00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:17,867
Not James. Paolo!

853
00:45:18,002 --> 00:45:20,937
— He's having dinner with you.
— No! No. No way.

854
00:45:21,072 --> 00:45:22,334
Why not?
Give me one good reason.

855
00:45:22,473 --> 00:45:24,134
— It's too soon.
— Too soon?

856
00:45:24,276 --> 00:45:26,540
— I'm still not over David.
— You don't even know David.

857
00:45:26,679 --> 00:45:27,441
That's a technicality.

858
00:45:27,580 --> 00:45:28,945
Besides, after everything
everyone's said,

859
00:45:29,082 --> 00:45:30,140
I feel like I know him very well.

860
00:45:30,283 --> 00:45:32,547
Babies, David doesn't even live
in London anymore.

861
00:45:32,686 --> 00:45:33,744
Oh, so you're saying
I should forget about him

862
00:45:33,888 --> 00:45:34,946
purely for geographic reasons?

863
00:45:35,089 --> 00:45:36,954
I'm saying that I don't think
it's healthy for you to have

864
00:45:37,091 --> 00:45:38,149
a long distance relationship
with someone

865
00:45:38,292 --> 00:45:40,055
you've never even met!

866
00:45:40,195 --> 00:45:41,856
How does that look?
More blush?

867
00:45:41,997 --> 00:45:43,658
— No, you're good.
— Thank you.

868
00:45:45,501 --> 00:45:49,164
I'm afraid Jacks sort of
surprised me with this.

869
00:45:49,306 --> 00:45:50,864
Yes. She surprised me too.

870
00:45:51,008 --> 00:45:53,943
Yeah, well, that's our Jacks!
Full of surprises!

871
00:45:54,980 --> 00:45:58,541
So is James…
Are they together?

872
00:46:00,486 --> 00:46:01,453
Well, technically no.

873
00:46:01,587 --> 00:46:03,646
But for all practical purposes, yes.

874
00:46:03,789 --> 00:46:05,552
— I don't understand.
— Join the club.

875
00:46:05,692 --> 00:46:08,752
When it comes to love, Jacks is
completely incomprehensible.

876
00:46:09,396 --> 00:46:12,160
So does she love him?

877
00:46:13,601 --> 00:46:14,568
I suppose, in a way, she must.

878
00:46:14,702 --> 00:46:17,466
I just don't think
she likes him very much.

879
00:46:17,606 --> 00:46:19,369
But come to think of it,
Jacks never goes out with men

880
00:46:19,508 --> 00:46:20,770
she actually likes.

881
00:46:23,413 --> 00:46:24,277
You're insane.

882
00:46:24,414 --> 00:46:26,382
Why, because I don't like you
having strange men with you

883
00:46:26,517 --> 00:46:27,449
while you're in the bath?

884
00:46:27,585 --> 00:46:31,646
— Jams, he's gay, for God sakes!
— Great, another poof.

885
00:46:31,790 --> 00:46:33,155
Since when did you
become homophobic?

886
00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:35,851
Since I realized being gay is
the only way to be intimate with you.

887
00:46:35,995 --> 00:46:37,462
Don't be absurd.

888
00:46:40,199 --> 00:46:42,861
I can't believe I've just
vomited the entire saga of

889
00:46:43,003 --> 00:46:45,369
my imaginary love life
with David Williams.

890
00:46:45,506 --> 00:46:46,973
I enjoyed it.
It's like a movie.

891
00:46:47,108 --> 00:46:49,770
— Yeah, but you must think I'm crazy.
— Yes.

892
00:46:49,911 --> 00:46:51,469
But I like crazy people.

893
00:46:51,614 --> 00:46:54,276
Yeah? So do I.

894
00:46:57,220 --> 00:47:00,280
But enough about me.
What do you think about me?

895
00:47:01,091 --> 00:47:04,857
No, I'm joking.
No, I'm not. No, I was.

896
00:47:11,203 --> 00:47:13,569
Sam, can we have some
sambucca, please?

897
00:47:29,125 --> 00:47:30,683
— Don't answer.
— I really should.

898
00:47:30,827 --> 00:47:32,795
— Why?
— It might be somebody.

899
00:47:34,898 --> 00:47:38,664
Hello? Talullah! Oh sweetie.
Hold on a sec.

900
00:47:38,803 --> 00:47:40,771
It's Talullah.
She's having a crisis.

901
00:47:40,905 --> 00:47:42,372
How bloody unusual.

902
00:47:43,509 --> 00:47:46,774
OK. Tell me exactly
what happened.

903
00:47:46,912 --> 00:47:48,880
He's stopped calling.

904
00:47:49,015 --> 00:47:50,676
— Freedom?
— Tony.

905
00:47:50,817 --> 00:47:51,875
Who's Tony?

906
00:47:52,018 --> 00:47:55,385
You know.
Tony from the phone company.

907
00:47:55,523 --> 00:47:57,991
The psycho who was
making obscene calls?

908
00:47:58,126 --> 00:48:01,584
They weren't obscene!
They were sweet.

909
00:48:01,730 --> 00:48:03,994
It was the perfect relationship.

910
00:48:04,134 --> 00:48:08,662
I never felt ugly or fat.
I knew he wasn't with me for my money.

911
00:48:08,805 --> 00:48:11,273
— I miss him, Jacks!
— Talullah, don't be ridiculous.

912
00:48:11,408 --> 00:48:13,069
I can't help how I feel!

913
00:48:13,210 --> 00:48:15,269
Why is it as soon as
I fall in love with a man,

914
00:48:15,413 --> 00:48:16,971
he abandons me?

915
00:48:17,115 --> 00:48:18,980
You don't love Tony!

916
00:48:19,117 --> 00:48:21,881
Yes I do!
I do love Tony.

917
00:48:23,022 --> 00:48:24,182
What did I do wrong?

918
00:48:24,323 --> 00:48:27,383
OK. Let's indulge this
sick fantasy.

919
00:48:27,528 --> 00:48:30,497
What's the last thing
you said to Prince Charming?

920
00:48:30,632 --> 00:48:32,998
'Stop pestering me
or I'll call the police! '

921
00:48:39,542 --> 00:48:40,770
Oh, this is us.

922
00:48:42,312 --> 00:48:44,974
Do you want to come upstairs
for another drink?

923
00:48:45,115 --> 00:48:47,276
I want to,
but I probably shouldn't.

924
00:48:47,418 --> 00:48:49,181
I have to be at the lab at 7.

925
00:48:50,121 --> 00:48:54,683
— Oh, OK. Well…
— But I really enjoyed meeting you.

926
00:48:56,629 --> 00:48:57,687
So did I.

927
00:48:59,933 --> 00:49:00,991
So did I.

928
00:49:04,638 --> 00:49:06,697
— Are you OK here?
— Oh my God! Oh God!

929
00:49:06,842 --> 00:49:08,104
— You don't! I…
— I'm so sorry!

930
00:49:08,243 --> 00:49:10,803
I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry. I was just…

931
00:49:10,946 --> 00:49:13,107
— I'm really embarrassed.
— No, no, no, listen, Peter.

932
00:49:13,249 --> 00:49:14,580
I really like you a lot, but…

933
00:49:14,717 --> 00:49:15,979
But you don't like me
in that way.

934
00:49:16,118 --> 00:49:17,483
Look, I know that speech.

935
00:49:17,621 --> 00:49:19,782
I use that speech because
I actually wrote that speech…

936
00:49:19,923 --> 00:49:21,390
I'm not gay.

937
00:49:21,525 --> 00:49:23,993
— I didn't write that part!
— I'm straight.

938
00:49:25,730 --> 00:49:26,788
Since when?

939
00:49:28,133 --> 00:49:31,000
I suppose I first noticed
when I was around 8.

940
00:49:31,136 --> 00:49:33,400
I thought it was just a phase,
you know, but eventually

941
00:49:33,540 --> 00:49:36,600
I had to accept the truth.
I like women.

942
00:49:38,045 --> 00:49:40,809
Oh this is good!
This is really good.

943
00:49:40,948 --> 00:49:43,007
You know, Jacks is useless at
fixing people up…

944
00:49:43,151 --> 00:49:45,210
— Jacks thought I was gay?
— Oh she sure did.

945
00:49:45,354 --> 00:49:47,686
And I'm really going to enjoy
making her feel stupid about this one.

946
00:49:47,823 --> 00:49:49,984
No! Please don't.

947
00:49:51,628 --> 00:49:53,289
I think I should tell her myself.

948
00:49:58,436 --> 00:49:59,801
You and Jacks?

949
00:50:01,139 --> 00:50:02,800
You and, you and Jacks?

950
00:50:03,542 --> 00:50:04,405
Oh my God!

951
00:50:04,542 --> 00:50:07,908
Oh, look, I… I…
I won't say a word. I promise.

952
00:50:08,046 --> 00:50:09,706
— Thanks.
— Cross my heart.

953
00:50:11,248 --> 00:50:14,512
— I should go.
— Yeah. Yes.

954
00:50:14,652 --> 00:50:16,619
— Goodnight.
— Goodnight.

955
00:50:27,229 --> 00:50:28,991
So what did you say to Jacks
when you got back?

956
00:50:29,131 --> 00:50:31,291
— Nothing, she wasn't there.
— But you're going to tell her.

957
00:50:31,432 --> 00:50:32,193
Sorry, I'm late!

958
00:50:32,333 --> 00:50:35,096
I was in the middle of
an absolutely gripping book.

959
00:50:35,236 --> 00:50:35,997
I couldn't put it down.

960
00:50:36,136 --> 00:50:37,193
Oh, what book's that?

961
00:50:37,337 --> 00:50:40,100
My memoirs, darling.
I've decided to publish.

962
00:50:40,941 --> 00:50:42,805
Bloody Mary please.
Light on the bloody.

963
00:50:42,942 --> 00:50:44,704
— Where's Jacks?
— Spending the weekend with James.

964
00:50:44,843 --> 00:50:47,208
— Oh God, how disgusting!
— Be nice.

965
00:50:47,346 --> 00:50:50,803
I'm sorry, but James Wildstone stands
for absolutely everything I despise.

966
00:50:50,949 --> 00:50:52,415
I thought he was
a good friend of your family?

967
00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:53,311
Exactly my point.

968
00:50:53,451 --> 00:50:55,077
Well, we shouldn'tjudge.
Maybe he's good sex.

969
00:50:55,218 --> 00:50:57,685
Oh, don't be absurd.
He's public school.

970
00:50:57,821 --> 00:50:59,481
So he probably likes
being spanked.

971
00:50:59,623 --> 00:51:01,180
Or buggered. Or both.

972
00:51:01,324 --> 00:51:04,087
— Sounds like good sex to me.
— And me!

973
00:51:04,226 --> 00:51:05,590
And me actually.

974
00:51:07,430 --> 00:51:10,887
I can't believe he's so late!
Pandora, try Sasha's mobile.

975
00:51:11,032 --> 00:51:12,498
— I tried it 5 minutes ago.
— Try again.

976
00:51:12,634 --> 00:51:14,191
And leave another message.

977
00:51:14,335 --> 00:51:15,892
Do you have his boyfriend's
number in Paris?

978
00:51:16,036 --> 00:51:17,696
He got back from Paris
last night.

979
00:51:17,838 --> 00:51:19,395
He broke up with his boyfriend
this weekend.

980
00:51:19,540 --> 00:51:21,404
— He did? Is he OK?
— Not really.

981
00:51:21,541 --> 00:51:24,304
But Jacks, look, it'll be fine.
Sasha always turns up.

982
00:51:24,444 --> 00:51:27,003
— I left another message.
— Thanks, Pandora.

983
00:51:28,413 --> 00:51:31,279
So I had a nice evening
with Peter the other night.

984
00:51:31,416 --> 00:51:33,679
Oh my God! Really?
Isn't he great?

985
00:51:33,818 --> 00:51:36,183
Smart, funny and cute.

986
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,787
Yes, he's absolutely lovely.

987
00:51:38,923 --> 00:51:39,786
Where's Daphne?

988
00:51:39,923 --> 00:51:42,186
She had to go to court today.
She left me in charge.

989
00:51:42,325 --> 00:51:43,985
Who put up those lights?

990
00:51:44,127 --> 00:51:45,787
I did, I thought you
might want them in the shot.

991
00:51:45,929 --> 00:51:49,295
You're not here to think!
You're here to do what I think! OK?

992
00:51:49,431 --> 00:51:52,092
So now you take all this down
and you bring me a ring light.

993
00:51:54,435 --> 00:51:57,597
Pandora?
Where is Pandora? Where is it?

994
00:51:57,739 --> 00:51:58,796
Here.

995
00:51:59,139 --> 00:52:00,105
What's yourjob?

996
00:52:01,108 --> 00:52:02,574
I'm a wardrobe assistant.

997
00:52:02,709 --> 00:52:05,677
A wardrobe assistant?
No, you're a piece of shit!

998
00:52:05,811 --> 00:52:07,778
How dare you call my mobile
every 10 minutes

999
00:52:07,913 --> 00:52:08,674
and leave me endless messages.

1000
00:52:08,814 --> 00:52:11,077
I told her to call, Sasha!
We were worried.

1001
00:52:11,217 --> 00:52:13,081
— You were late.
— I know I was late!

1002
00:52:13,218 --> 00:52:15,185
I just don't need
a nobody leaving me

1003
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:16,684
endless messages about it!

1004
00:52:16,821 --> 00:52:19,084
— I understand you had a rough weekend…
— No, you don't understand!

1005
00:52:19,223 --> 00:52:20,587
You understand nothing!

1006
00:52:20,724 --> 00:52:22,782
And I suggest you stop
meddling with things

1007
00:52:22,926 --> 00:52:24,483
you don't understand,
and just do yourjob!

1008
00:52:24,627 --> 00:52:25,593
Whatever the hell that is.

1009
00:52:25,728 --> 00:52:26,989
I don't know,
go steam something!

1010
00:52:27,130 --> 00:52:28,096
Sasha!

1011
00:52:28,231 --> 00:52:29,197
Jacks, he doesn't mean that…

1012
00:52:29,332 --> 00:52:32,198
— Don't you tell her what I mean!
— Don't speak to her like that.

1013
00:52:35,604 --> 00:52:37,867
Get out! You're fired!
You heard me? You're fired!

1014
00:52:38,005 --> 00:52:39,164
Go back to Argentina!

1015
00:52:39,306 --> 00:52:41,671
You and your little
pathetic snapshots!

1016
00:52:41,809 --> 00:52:42,866
Bye bye!

1017
00:52:44,110 --> 00:52:46,669
Anyone else have
something to say?

1018
00:52:47,313 --> 00:52:48,779
I have something to say.

1019
00:52:50,516 --> 00:52:52,483
— Apologize!
— I'm sorry?

1020
00:52:52,618 --> 00:52:54,881
I said apologize!

1021
00:52:55,621 --> 00:52:57,485
— Are you insane?
— Obviously!

1022
00:52:57,622 --> 00:52:59,987
I work at Vogue!
But don't change the subject!

1023
00:53:00,124 --> 00:53:01,988
— Apologize.
— Or else?

1024
00:53:02,126 --> 00:53:04,685
Or else, I'm walking out
with all those dresses.

1025
00:53:05,829 --> 00:53:08,763
Oh! I have a better idea.
I will do the walking out thing.

1026
00:53:08,899 --> 00:53:11,264
And let's see what Daphne
has to say about that!

1027
00:53:20,408 --> 00:53:22,466
Paolo, can I ask a favour?

1028
00:53:23,110 --> 00:53:26,374
Ah, the classic movie moment
when the underdog gets to prove

1029
00:53:26,513 --> 00:53:29,072
his real worth and win
the heart of his true love!

1030
00:53:29,215 --> 00:53:30,181
Don't give away the ending!

1031
00:53:30,316 --> 00:53:32,681
It's a romantic comedy!
How do you think it ends?

1032
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:35,682
Hi, sunshine, how are you?

1033
00:53:35,821 --> 00:53:38,084
I just had the most surreal day.

1034
00:53:38,223 --> 00:53:39,382
I had a huge fight with Sasha.

1035
00:53:39,524 --> 00:53:41,957
Paolo took over the shoot,
and he was absolutely brilliant.

1036
00:53:42,093 --> 00:53:43,559
I'm probably going to
get fired tomorrow,

1037
00:53:43,694 --> 00:53:45,558
but it was so worth itjust
to see Paolo in action.

1038
00:53:45,696 --> 00:53:47,959
Oh my God! This is so scary!

1039
00:53:48,098 --> 00:53:49,462
What's she watching?

1040
00:53:49,599 --> 00:53:50,758
Notting Hill.

1041
00:53:52,102 --> 00:53:53,261
So what did you think
about Paolo?

1042
00:53:53,403 --> 00:53:54,664
Was I right or was I right?

1043
00:53:54,803 --> 00:53:56,360
Are those my only options?

1044
00:53:56,505 --> 00:53:58,062
Oh no, don't tell me
you didn't like him.

1045
00:53:58,207 --> 00:54:00,367
I liked him a lot!
I'm just not sure I'm his type.

1046
00:54:00,509 --> 00:54:01,475
Of course, you're his type!

1047
00:54:01,609 --> 00:54:03,667
He told me himself
he thought you were 'lovely.'

1048
00:54:03,811 --> 00:54:05,277
Well, I didn't see that coming!

1049
00:54:05,413 --> 00:54:06,276
What?

1050
00:54:06,414 --> 00:54:09,576
Julia Roberts ending up
with Hugh Grant!

1051
00:54:16,288 --> 00:54:18,551
You know, Jacks. When I told you
to take care of the shoot,

1052
00:54:18,691 --> 00:54:21,250
I was thinking more along
the lines of ordering the sushi,

1053
00:54:21,392 --> 00:54:23,359
not enraging
our top photographer.

1054
00:54:23,495 --> 00:54:25,758
I can't help it if Sasha's
an overpampered monster.

1055
00:54:25,897 --> 00:54:29,263
We work in fashion.
Everyone's an overpampered monster.

1056
00:54:29,399 --> 00:54:32,060
Yes, but that isn't an excuse
to be so vile to people.

1057
00:54:32,202 --> 00:54:35,659
Besides, his pictures don't
have an ounce of truth to them.

1058
00:54:35,805 --> 00:54:39,262
But since when does truth have
anything to do with fashion?

1059
00:54:39,407 --> 00:54:42,170
Well, it doesn't.

1060
00:54:42,310 --> 00:54:43,674
But maybe it should.

1061
00:54:46,313 --> 00:54:48,837
— So you were Sasha's assistant?
— Yes.

1062
00:54:48,983 --> 00:54:50,540
How very 'All About Eve.'

1063
00:54:50,684 --> 00:54:52,446
'All About Eve? '

1064
00:54:52,585 --> 00:54:53,744
It's a movie, darling.

1065
00:54:53,887 --> 00:54:55,945
It's about an assistant
who seems all sweet and innocent

1066
00:54:56,089 --> 00:54:58,750
but is really quite
ambitious and ruthless.

1067
00:54:58,891 --> 00:54:59,948
You should rent it sometime.

1068
00:55:00,092 --> 00:55:01,456
Daphne, he was doing me
a favour.

1069
00:55:01,593 --> 00:55:03,253
— I've seen it.
— You have?

1070
00:55:03,395 --> 00:55:04,656
And what did you think?

1071
00:55:04,795 --> 00:55:06,955
I found it rather silly actually.

1072
00:55:07,098 --> 00:55:10,464
The idea that Bette Davis could be
the victim of anyone is absurd.

1073
00:55:22,278 --> 00:55:23,744
Pick 4 and run it.

1074
00:55:33,187 --> 00:55:35,450
Oh my God, Paolo!
You were amazing!

1075
00:55:35,589 --> 00:55:36,748
Thanks. So were you!

1076
00:55:36,889 --> 00:55:37,946
The way you handled Daphne!

1077
00:55:38,090 --> 00:55:40,649
I mean I knew you were talented,
but I had no idea that under

1078
00:55:40,793 --> 00:55:44,956
that shy, sweet exterior was
such steely confidence!

1079
00:55:45,096 --> 00:55:47,563
What other secrets are
you keeping from me?

1080
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,359
Actually, Jacks,
I did want to talk to you about…

1081
00:55:51,502 --> 00:55:54,231
— Ah, Jacks! There you are!
— James?

1082
00:55:54,371 --> 00:55:55,632
Hello, Darling!

1083
00:55:55,773 --> 00:55:57,137
Hello?

1084
00:55:57,273 --> 00:55:58,933
James, you remember Paolo?

1085
00:55:59,075 --> 00:56:00,439
Yes. Hello, Paolo?

1086
00:56:00,577 --> 00:56:01,440
James?

1087
00:56:01,578 --> 00:56:02,737
What are you doing here?

1088
00:56:02,878 --> 00:56:04,640
Well, actually, I was just
having lunch across the street

1089
00:56:04,780 --> 00:56:06,644
and I came to tell you
the good news in person.

1090
00:56:06,782 --> 00:56:07,543
What good news?

1091
00:56:07,683 --> 00:56:10,651
Peter is finally going to meet
the love of his life!

1092
00:56:10,785 --> 00:56:12,752
— What?
— David Williams is in town.

1093
00:56:12,887 --> 00:56:14,444
He's leading a special auction
at Sotheby's.

1094
00:56:14,589 --> 00:56:15,555
And he and I were just
having lunch together,

1095
00:56:15,689 --> 00:56:16,848
and I just happened to mention
Peter's name.

1096
00:56:16,990 --> 00:56:19,958
And he suggested that we bring
Peter to the auction tonight!

1097
00:56:20,093 --> 00:56:21,559
— He did?
— Well, actually, I suggested it.

1098
00:56:21,694 --> 00:56:23,558
But he thinks it's a great idea!

1099
00:56:23,696 --> 00:56:26,255
So did I do good
or did I do good?

1100
00:56:26,398 --> 00:56:27,830
You did great.

1101
00:56:30,168 --> 00:56:32,431
I should probably go.

1102
00:56:32,870 --> 00:56:36,327
Paolo, congratulations on today.

1103
00:56:38,375 --> 00:56:40,740
Tell Peter I wish him
good luck with David.

1104
00:56:45,481 --> 00:56:46,640
Jacks?

1105
00:56:47,582 --> 00:56:48,741
What are you thinking?

1106
00:56:49,584 --> 00:56:52,552
I'm thinking about
Peter and David living

1107
00:56:52,687 --> 00:56:54,347
happily ever after.

1108
00:56:59,893 --> 00:57:02,019
What if I've written
the worst script ever?

1109
00:57:02,161 --> 00:57:03,821
What if everyone hates it?

1110
00:57:03,963 --> 00:57:06,931
Look, most great artists have to
deal with rejection in their lifetime.

1111
00:57:07,065 --> 00:57:08,531
Yes, I'm not a great artist!

1112
00:57:08,667 --> 00:57:11,226
Look, I know I'm not
some genius like Van Gogh.

1113
00:57:11,370 --> 00:57:13,428
Thank God.
I like my men with 2 ears.

1114
00:57:13,571 --> 00:57:15,231
I'm, I'm being serious.

1115
00:57:15,373 --> 00:57:18,239
What if I'm not any good?
What if I have no talent?

1116
00:57:18,376 --> 00:57:20,639
Are you asking
if I'll still love you?

1117
00:57:21,778 --> 00:57:23,142
— Snap out of it will you?
— What?

1118
00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:24,737
We're here.

1119
00:57:29,985 --> 00:57:31,542
There you are!
You guys are late.

1120
00:57:31,687 --> 00:57:33,153
Fin, I'm not sure
this is such a good idea.

1121
00:57:33,288 --> 00:57:34,515
It's an excellent idea.

1122
00:57:34,656 --> 00:57:36,020
He's perfect for you,
Paul, darling!

1123
00:57:36,157 --> 00:57:38,624
Peter! His name is Peter!

1124
00:57:38,759 --> 00:57:40,419
You're about to meet the
love of your life!

1125
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:41,116
To the left!

1126
00:57:41,261 --> 00:57:42,727
There is no need to be
so nasty to me

1127
00:57:42,863 --> 00:57:43,726
just because I don't remember
people's names.

1128
00:57:43,864 --> 00:57:45,728
550 with you madam,
thank you very much.

1129
00:57:45,865 --> 00:57:48,424
— That's him!
— 580. Anything further on 580?

1130
00:57:48,567 --> 00:57:49,931
— I can't see him.
— There!

1131
00:57:50,069 --> 00:57:52,127
I have Ј600,000.

1132
00:57:52,270 --> 00:57:53,736
Back to the telephone bank.

1133
00:57:53,872 --> 00:57:55,338
That's not him.
That's not him!

1134
00:57:55,473 --> 00:57:56,734
— You're kidding?
— No!

1135
00:57:56,875 --> 00:57:58,637
— That's David?
— No!

1136
00:57:58,776 --> 00:57:59,434
— Are you sure?
— Yes!

1137
00:57:59,576 --> 00:58:00,234
I have no idea!

1138
00:58:00,377 --> 00:58:02,640
Of course that's David!
He's just cut his hair.

1139
00:58:02,780 --> 00:58:03,541
What hair?

1140
00:58:03,681 --> 00:58:04,840
He's got a lovely smile!

1141
00:58:04,981 --> 00:58:07,312
— He's just cut his hair!
— And he's lost some weight.

1142
00:58:07,450 --> 00:58:09,713
— I don't think so, Fergus…
— It's Finlay!

1143
00:58:09,852 --> 00:58:11,409
— What?
— That is not him! OK?

1144
00:58:11,553 --> 00:58:13,918
That is not the man
I bumped into at the Chancery Hotel.

1145
00:58:14,056 --> 00:58:15,317
That is not him!

1146
00:58:15,457 --> 00:58:17,117
Well, he's good enough!

1147
00:58:17,258 --> 00:58:19,020
Oh no! No, he's not good enough!

1148
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:22,925
Because, that man right there,
the real David Williams actually exists!

1149
00:58:23,064 --> 00:58:27,329
The real David Williams happens
to be a living, breathing,

1150
00:58:27,467 --> 00:58:29,627
on-the-market gay man!

1151
00:58:46,950 --> 00:58:49,918
Morning, sunshine.
How you feeling?

1152
00:58:50,052 --> 00:58:52,815
— Exhausted. You?
— Fine.

1153
00:58:52,955 --> 00:58:55,514
I'm going to brunch with Finlay
and the wrong David.

1154
00:58:55,657 --> 00:58:57,214
I'm so sorry.

1155
00:58:57,359 --> 00:58:58,620
Sorry you outed
a total stranger

1156
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:00,522
or sorry it's the wrong
total stranger?

1157
00:59:00,662 --> 00:59:01,628
Both.

1158
00:59:01,762 --> 00:59:02,921
I'm quite relieved, to be honest.

1159
00:59:03,063 --> 00:59:04,324
At least it's over and done with.

1160
00:59:05,265 --> 00:59:07,129
— You OK?
— I'm fine.

1161
00:59:07,267 --> 00:59:10,429
I was just up most of
the night thinking…

1162
00:59:10,570 --> 00:59:11,627
About?

1163
00:59:11,771 --> 00:59:15,297
Oh, love and other disasters.

1164
00:59:16,341 --> 00:59:18,205
— That must be Finlay.
— Send him my love.

1165
00:59:18,343 --> 00:59:20,810
— I don't have to go to this thing.
— Go!

1166
00:59:29,052 --> 00:59:30,109
I'll be right down.

1167
00:59:35,958 --> 00:59:38,323
— Morning.
— Morning.

1168
00:59:39,261 --> 00:59:42,024
— Would you like some coffee?
— No, thank you.

1169
00:59:43,865 --> 00:59:46,332
That's Peter, he must have
forgotten his keys.

1170
00:59:47,634 --> 00:59:48,998
I'm going to take a bath.

1171
00:59:53,339 --> 00:59:54,703
Paolo, hi!

1172
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:56,704
— Hi.
— Are you OK?

1173
00:59:57,643 --> 01:00:00,008
Not really.
I haven't slept all night.

1174
01:00:00,145 --> 01:00:02,112
Come in. Come in.

1175
01:00:03,448 --> 01:00:04,505
It's just…

1176
01:00:05,649 --> 01:00:07,616
I've been wanting to talk to you
about the other night with Peter.

1177
01:00:07,751 --> 01:00:11,914
But it seems every time I'm about to,
something or someone gets in the way.

1178
01:00:12,055 --> 01:00:13,112
I'm sorry.

1179
01:00:13,256 --> 01:00:16,019
No! It's not your fault.
It's just…

1180
01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:20,892
— He's not here, is he?
— No. No, he's out.

1181
01:00:21,030 --> 01:00:21,893
Good.

1182
01:00:22,031 --> 01:00:24,897
— I feel terrible.
Why should you feel terrible?

1183
01:00:25,034 --> 01:00:27,194
I had no idea how you felt.

1184
01:00:29,338 --> 01:00:30,395
What the hell is going on?

1185
01:00:30,540 --> 01:00:32,598
— I don't believe it.
— No, wait!

1186
01:00:32,742 --> 01:00:34,299
— I shouldn't have come.
— Wait!

1187
01:00:34,444 --> 01:00:36,104
— James, what's wrong with you?
— Nothing's wrong with me!

1188
01:00:36,245 --> 01:00:37,506
He needs to talk!
What's your problem?

1189
01:00:37,647 --> 01:00:38,510
He's my problem!

1190
01:00:38,648 --> 01:00:40,808
Excuse me? Paolo!

1191
01:00:43,453 --> 01:00:45,511
I may not speak Spanish,
but I'm not an idiot.

1192
01:00:45,655 --> 01:00:46,518
What are you talking about?

1193
01:00:46,656 --> 01:00:48,122
I'm talking about you
and that bloody Paolo.

1194
01:00:48,257 --> 01:00:50,121
He was upset about Peter.
He wanted to talk.

1195
01:00:50,258 --> 01:00:51,315
Bullshit!

1196
01:00:51,460 --> 01:00:52,926
— What?
— I want him out of your life!

1197
01:00:53,061 --> 01:00:55,187
— Or else?
— Or else we're through!

1198
01:00:55,330 --> 01:00:58,594
See. This is exactly why I don't
want to be in a relationship with you!

1199
01:00:59,334 --> 01:01:00,800
Oh really?

1200
01:01:00,936 --> 01:01:02,698
Then what the hell is this?
What the hell are we in?

1201
01:01:03,438 --> 01:01:04,495
I don't know.

1202
01:01:05,941 --> 01:01:07,805
This is just some sort of
fucking game to you, isn't it?

1203
01:01:07,943 --> 01:01:08,499
What's a game?

1204
01:01:08,643 --> 01:01:11,110
This. We fuck and then you say
you don't want a relationship.

1205
01:01:11,246 --> 01:01:13,304
— It's not a game.
— Oh no? Then what is it?

1206
01:01:14,149 --> 01:01:15,206
It's…

1207
01:01:16,251 --> 01:01:17,012
It's the truth.

1208
01:01:17,152 --> 01:01:19,312
Bullshit!
I don't believe it is the truth!

1209
01:01:19,454 --> 01:01:20,920
For the last six months
you've been saying one thing

1210
01:01:21,056 --> 01:01:22,716
and then doing another.
You've been playing me!

1211
01:01:22,858 --> 01:01:23,915
No!

1212
01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:26,324
But I am sorry.

1213
01:01:26,460 --> 01:01:27,687
What are you sorry about?

1214
01:01:28,529 --> 01:01:29,995
I didn't mean to hurt you!

1215
01:01:31,732 --> 01:01:33,494
Fucking condescending!

1216
01:01:33,634 --> 01:01:35,396
I didn't mean it like that.

1217
01:01:35,536 --> 01:01:38,095
I just… I want…

1218
01:01:38,239 --> 01:01:39,296
What do you want?

1219
01:01:41,342 --> 01:01:43,104
I want this to end.

1220
01:01:58,559 --> 01:02:00,992
So after all that,
I'm not the one?

1221
01:02:01,128 --> 01:02:02,594
Bit of a relief, huh?

1222
01:02:02,729 --> 01:02:03,786
I suppose so.

1223
01:02:03,930 --> 01:02:05,294
You must have thought
I was a stalker freak.

1224
01:02:05,431 --> 01:02:06,692
Thanks to my discreet friends.

1225
01:02:06,833 --> 01:02:07,696
We were just trying to help.

1226
01:02:07,834 --> 01:02:09,494
Yes, by making me out to be
a desperate fantasist?

1227
01:02:09,636 --> 01:02:11,296
You are a desperate fantasist.

1228
01:02:11,437 --> 01:02:12,801
— No, I'm not actually.
— He is.

1229
01:02:12,939 --> 01:02:15,406
I'm a fantasist,
I'm not desperate.

1230
01:02:15,542 --> 01:02:17,509
Well, I suppose I'd never have
lived up to your fantasy anyway.

1231
01:02:17,644 --> 01:02:19,804
Trust me, David.
Nobody could.

1232
01:02:19,946 --> 01:02:22,004
— Tom!
— Sorry, I'm late!

1233
01:02:23,750 --> 01:02:26,217
— Tom, this is Peter and Finlay.
— Hey, Tom. I think we've met.

1234
01:02:26,352 --> 01:02:29,809
— Finlay! How have you been?
— Great! And you?

1235
01:02:29,956 --> 01:02:31,923
Can't complain.
Can't complain.

1236
01:02:32,058 --> 01:02:33,524
Finally out of the art world!

1237
01:02:33,660 --> 01:02:34,683
Tom's acting now.

1238
01:02:34,827 --> 01:02:36,088
— Acting?
— Yeah, that's why I'm late.

1239
01:02:36,229 --> 01:02:37,889
Had an audition for
a new drama at the BBC.

1240
01:02:38,030 --> 01:02:40,088
— How'd it go?
— Good! Well, great actually.

1241
01:02:40,232 --> 01:02:43,200
I was so inside
the character. You know?

1242
01:02:43,335 --> 01:02:44,392
And then they asked for a monologue

1243
01:02:44,536 --> 01:02:46,799
so I did that one from
Streetcar which everyone loves.

1244
01:02:46,939 --> 01:02:49,907
The actress I was doing it with,
she was hopeless.

1245
01:02:50,042 --> 01:02:51,008
I was doing my best…

1246
01:02:51,143 --> 01:02:52,200
Are you OK?

1247
01:02:53,845 --> 01:02:55,209
— That's him.
— Who?

1248
01:02:55,347 --> 01:02:57,211
That's the guy I bumped into
at the Hotel!

1249
01:02:57,349 --> 01:02:58,406
What?

1250
01:02:59,551 --> 01:03:00,209
Sorry.

1251
01:03:00,352 --> 01:03:04,117
Excuse me, I just need to use
the loo, actually.

1252
01:03:04,256 --> 01:03:06,314
— Finlay?
— Right! I'll just…

1253
01:03:07,059 --> 01:03:08,082
Give you a hand!

1254
01:03:11,330 --> 01:03:12,990
I can't believe you said
'I'll give you a hand! '

1255
01:03:13,131 --> 01:03:14,392
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

1256
01:03:14,532 --> 01:03:16,692
But listen, I think
I know what happened!

1257
01:03:16,834 --> 01:03:18,892
Tom used to be
David's assistant.

1258
01:03:19,036 --> 01:03:20,297
They both must have gone
to the hotel,

1259
01:03:20,438 --> 01:03:22,200
but Tom arrived with
the paintings on his own.

1260
01:03:22,340 --> 01:03:23,499
Which is when you bumped
into him!

1261
01:03:23,641 --> 01:03:25,403
Great! So, now what do I do?

1262
01:03:26,043 --> 01:03:27,907
Well, I'd probably zip up.

1263
01:03:28,746 --> 01:03:30,212
Mustn't seem over-eager.

1264
01:03:31,449 --> 01:03:34,212
I can't believe you're cooking dinner
for some guy you just met yesterday!

1265
01:03:34,352 --> 01:03:36,114
His name is Tom.
You know what they say.

1266
01:03:36,253 --> 01:03:37,913
'The way to a man's heart is
through his stomach.'

1267
01:03:38,055 --> 01:03:39,419
Don't you think that's aiming
a bit high?

1268
01:03:39,557 --> 01:03:41,285
Don't you think you should
applaud my courage?

1269
01:03:41,425 --> 01:03:43,187
I would but my hands are full.

1270
01:03:43,527 --> 01:03:44,686
Anyway, I'm off.

1271
01:03:44,829 --> 01:03:46,090
Don't you at least
want to meet Tom?

1272
01:03:46,230 --> 01:03:48,197
Why? I prefer Paolo.

1273
01:03:48,332 --> 01:03:50,492
Maybe that's something
worth considering.

1274
01:03:50,635 --> 01:03:51,794
Little late for that.

1275
01:04:00,443 --> 01:04:02,205
I've been trying to call you
since yesterday

1276
01:04:02,345 --> 01:04:03,709
but your mobile isn't working.

1277
01:04:03,847 --> 01:04:05,609
I, I ran out of credit.

1278
01:04:06,549 --> 01:04:08,812
— Can I come in?
— Yeah, sure.

1279
01:04:09,753 --> 01:04:10,719
What are you doing?

1280
01:04:10,854 --> 01:04:13,321
I have to fly back to
Argentina tomorrow.

1281
01:04:13,456 --> 01:04:15,787
— What? Why?
— I don't belong here.

1282
01:04:15,925 --> 01:04:17,084
What are you talking about?

1283
01:04:17,227 --> 01:04:18,887
Your career's about to
take off in London.

1284
01:04:19,029 --> 01:04:21,087
You have 4 pages in the new Vogue!

1285
01:04:21,231 --> 01:04:22,697
OK, I know how you feel
about fashion.

1286
01:04:22,832 --> 01:04:23,490
And I agree with you!

1287
01:04:23,633 --> 01:04:25,395
But at least it'll pay the rent.
While you do your own work.

1288
01:04:25,535 --> 01:04:29,300
And I've spoken to Finlay.
And he wants to meet you.

1289
01:04:29,438 --> 01:04:31,701
Maybe put a show on at
his gallery for you.

1290
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:34,103
— You can'tjust go home now!
— I'm being deported.

1291
01:04:35,344 --> 01:04:37,311
Immigration got a tip
I was working here illegally.

1292
01:04:37,446 --> 01:04:40,414
— A tip? From who?
— Does it matter?

1293
01:04:41,850 --> 01:04:42,907
James.

1294
01:04:43,652 --> 01:04:44,811
It was James.

1295
01:04:44,953 --> 01:04:46,214
We don't know that.

1296
01:04:48,524 --> 01:04:51,185
— You're not going.
— Jacks, I don't have a choice.

1297
01:04:52,227 --> 01:04:53,693
Yes, you do.

1298
01:04:53,829 --> 01:04:54,988
You can marry me!

1299
01:04:58,333 --> 01:05:01,495
Jacks. I can't ask you
to do that.

1300
01:05:01,637 --> 01:05:02,898
Then it's a good thing I'm asking!

1301
01:05:03,038 --> 01:05:06,006
Yes. And it's very kind of you.
But…

1302
01:05:06,441 --> 01:05:08,101
It's not fair to you.

1303
01:05:09,243 --> 01:05:11,710
Look. I know you think I'm
doing this out of guilt or pity.

1304
01:05:11,846 --> 01:05:12,903
But that's just not true.

1305
01:05:13,047 --> 01:05:15,606
I'm doing this
because I want to.

1306
01:05:15,750 --> 01:05:18,309
Because I know that you're on the
verge of fulfilling your dreams!

1307
01:05:18,453 --> 01:05:21,182
And if I could be a part of that,
that would make me happy.

1308
01:05:21,322 --> 01:05:24,984
And I don't want you to go.
So please. Marry me!

1309
01:05:28,029 --> 01:05:29,996
I don't know what to say.

1310
01:05:30,131 --> 01:05:34,089
Well, unless you want me to feel
totally humiliated say yes.

1311
01:05:37,739 --> 01:05:41,401
I'm like, fuck that.
I know I'm talented.

1312
01:05:41,541 --> 01:05:43,599
I don't need some RADA degree
to tell me.

1313
01:05:43,744 --> 01:05:44,607
You know what I mean?

1314
01:05:45,245 --> 01:05:46,506
And besides,
I'm not interested in

1315
01:05:46,646 --> 01:05:48,510
being some luvvie
character actor.

1316
01:05:48,648 --> 01:05:51,115
I am a leading man,
for fuck's sake.

1317
01:05:51,251 --> 01:05:53,616
So why waste my time studying
during my peak years.

1318
01:05:53,754 --> 01:05:54,583
You know what I mean?

1319
01:05:55,822 --> 01:05:58,984
Yes, yes.
Well, I, I think I do.

1320
01:05:59,126 --> 01:06:01,593
I mean sometimes studying can
become a way of avoiding doing…

1321
01:06:01,728 --> 01:06:03,888
I'm just not sure whether
I should cut my hair.

1322
01:06:04,731 --> 01:06:07,096
I mean, my agent thinks I should,
but I think it's what makes me

1323
01:06:07,234 --> 01:06:08,894
distinctive.
You know what I mean?

1324
01:06:09,636 --> 01:06:11,000
Yeah. I think I do.

1325
01:06:11,638 --> 01:06:13,605
So… you wanna go to bed?

1326
01:06:14,641 --> 01:06:15,197
What?

1327
01:06:15,342 --> 01:06:18,003
Do you want to go to bed?
You know, have sex?

1328
01:06:18,144 --> 01:06:19,201
I…

1329
01:06:20,045 --> 01:06:22,012
I don't like wasting time
when I know what I want.

1330
01:06:28,120 --> 01:06:29,677
Is everything OK?

1331
01:06:29,822 --> 01:06:32,881
Yes, I was just trying Peter,
but he didn't answer.

1332
01:06:33,025 --> 01:06:35,686
Oh, you ordered me another drink.
Thanks, Babies!

1333
01:06:35,828 --> 01:06:37,294
You're so thoughtful!

1334
01:06:39,632 --> 01:06:41,292
So what happened
with you and James?

1335
01:06:41,433 --> 01:06:43,798
The same thing that happens
with all straight men.

1336
01:06:43,936 --> 01:06:46,597
They pretend that they're fine
with you having a career

1337
01:06:46,739 --> 01:06:47,602
and being independent.

1338
01:06:47,740 --> 01:06:51,197
But deep down, they resent it.
Or they want to change it.

1339
01:06:51,343 --> 01:06:53,310
Well, not all straight men.

1340
01:06:53,445 --> 01:06:55,912
Trust me! All of them!

1341
01:06:56,047 --> 01:06:59,106
At the end of the day, all
straight men just want one thing.

1342
01:06:59,250 --> 01:07:00,307
You know what that is?

1343
01:07:01,019 --> 01:07:02,280
Sex?

1344
01:07:02,420 --> 01:07:03,477
Control!

1345
01:07:03,621 --> 01:07:05,485
The problem with straight men
is that no matter how hard

1346
01:07:05,623 --> 01:07:07,988
they try, they still
need to control, to dominate.

1347
01:07:08,126 --> 01:07:09,592
Thank God you're gay!

1348
01:07:10,528 --> 01:07:12,085
— Jacks.
— I mean think about it!

1349
01:07:12,230 --> 01:07:13,890
Why do you think we feel
so comfortable together?

1350
01:07:14,032 --> 01:07:16,192
Because I know you're not
trying to score.

1351
01:07:16,334 --> 01:07:19,496
Anyway. I'm through
with straight men!

1352
01:07:19,637 --> 01:07:21,103
A toast!

1353
01:07:21,239 --> 01:07:23,706
No more straight men!

1354
01:07:23,842 --> 01:07:25,706
Good riddance I say!

1355
01:07:26,544 --> 01:07:29,410
And now, we have a very special
dedication for Paolo.

1356
01:07:29,547 --> 01:07:32,208
Paolo, this one's from
your future wife!

1357
01:07:39,523 --> 01:07:41,786
Happy Wedding, Babies!

1358
01:08:26,335 --> 01:08:30,202
I just remembered that Peter
might have a boy at the house.

1359
01:08:30,339 --> 01:08:33,705
Can I stay at yours?
Sunderland Terrace!

1360
01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:39,004
Thanks.

1361
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:47,383
Oh my god, I just used
your toothbrush.

1362
01:08:47,522 --> 01:08:48,783
No problem.

1363
01:08:48,924 --> 01:08:50,288
I think I'm drunk.

1364
01:08:52,127 --> 01:08:54,390
The room's sloshing.

1365
01:08:55,931 --> 01:08:57,898
You going to stand up all night?

1366
01:08:58,733 --> 01:09:01,200
— No.
— Good. Come.

1367
01:09:03,738 --> 01:09:06,797
I think my parents would
have really liked you.

1368
01:09:06,942 --> 01:09:14,279
You're so smart and kind
and you're so really talented.

1369
01:09:15,216 --> 01:09:16,682
— Jacks!
— I think you're exactly

1370
01:09:16,818 --> 01:09:19,081
the kind of person they would
have wanted me to marry.

1371
01:09:19,220 --> 01:09:21,687
Well, not exactly.

1372
01:09:21,822 --> 01:09:24,483
But not in terms of what counts.

1373
01:09:26,827 --> 01:09:30,489
I know that I don't know
you very well,

1374
01:09:30,631 --> 01:09:32,894
but I feel safe with you.

1375
01:09:33,033 --> 01:09:35,000
Is that crazy?

1376
01:09:35,135 --> 01:09:37,102
No. It's not crazy.

1377
01:09:37,938 --> 01:09:39,199
I trust you.

1378
01:09:40,641 --> 01:09:42,801
Jacks, I need to tell
you something.

1379
01:09:42,943 --> 01:09:45,308
— Get into bed and tell me.
— I can't.

1380
01:09:45,446 --> 01:09:48,278
I promise I won't make a pass.

1381
01:09:48,415 --> 01:09:51,383
— It's not you I'm worried about.
— What, Paolo?

1382
01:10:05,732 --> 01:10:07,494
You're so drunk!

1383
01:10:32,425 --> 01:10:33,483
Tom.

1384
01:10:36,129 --> 01:10:38,893
Tom! It's time to get up.

1385
01:10:40,033 --> 01:10:42,695
— What time is it?
— Almost 9.

1386
01:10:44,737 --> 01:10:45,999
You gotta go.

1387
01:10:47,140 --> 01:10:49,108
— Excuse me?
— You gotta go.

1388
01:10:49,242 --> 01:10:52,211
I've got some friends
coming over for brunch.

1389
01:10:53,746 --> 01:10:55,270
Tom, you're in my apartment.

1390
01:11:22,642 --> 01:11:24,303
Talullah, I can't get
into it now.

1391
01:11:24,444 --> 01:11:26,105
Just meet me at the Registry.

1392
01:11:26,245 --> 01:11:28,577
I'm not getting married
without a maid of honour.

1393
01:11:28,714 --> 01:11:32,081
No! Sweetie, you don't need
to write a poem.

1394
01:11:33,119 --> 01:11:35,485
Look, I have to try Peter again.

1395
01:11:35,621 --> 01:11:37,486
He hasn't been answering
the phone all night.

1396
01:11:38,124 --> 01:11:39,785
OK, bye.

1397
01:11:45,631 --> 01:11:47,394
— Hello?
— Peter! Finally!

1398
01:11:47,533 --> 01:11:49,899
— Hi, Jacks.
— I've been calling you all night!

1399
01:11:50,036 --> 01:11:52,004
I know, I'm sorry.
I turned my phone off.

1400
01:11:52,138 --> 01:11:53,901
— Tim spend the night?
— Tom!

1401
01:11:54,040 --> 01:11:57,009
— Whatever.
— I agree. Reality crashes in.

1402
01:11:57,144 --> 01:11:59,510
I'm sorry, Babies.
Now listen.

1403
01:11:59,646 --> 01:12:02,581
I need you to come down to
the Islington Registry right away.

1404
01:12:02,716 --> 01:12:04,980
— I'm getting married.
— What? Jacks!

1405
01:12:05,119 --> 01:12:06,677
I'll tell you everything
when you get there.

1406
01:12:06,820 --> 01:12:09,288
I just managed to get
a cancellation at 11 sharp.

1407
01:12:09,423 --> 01:12:10,287
That's in 20 minutes!

1408
01:12:10,424 --> 01:12:11,982
And I still need to
buy a wedding outfit!

1409
01:12:12,126 --> 01:12:13,787
— Gotta run. Bye!
— Oh, wait!

1410
01:12:15,028 --> 01:12:16,586
Oh, pull over right there!

1411
01:12:19,433 --> 01:12:20,491
I'll be right back!

1412
01:12:39,820 --> 01:12:41,287
Paolo! Thank God you're here!

1413
01:12:41,421 --> 01:12:42,581
— Have they called our names yet?
— No.

1414
01:12:42,723 --> 01:12:46,682
Emily Jackson
and Paolo Sar-mentio?

1415
01:12:56,537 --> 01:12:58,698
Are you all here for
the Jackson wedding party?

1416
01:13:15,722 --> 01:13:17,383
If anyone knows why these
two individuals before me

1417
01:13:17,524 --> 01:13:19,185
should not be married,
let them speak now

1418
01:13:19,326 --> 01:13:20,293
or forever hold their peace.

1419
01:13:20,428 --> 01:13:22,794
— I'm not gay.
— Excuse me?

1420
01:13:22,931 --> 01:13:23,989
I'm not gay!

1421
01:13:27,535 --> 01:13:29,594
Of course you're not gay!

1422
01:13:29,737 --> 01:13:32,501
He's not! Gay. I mean.

1423
01:13:33,841 --> 01:13:35,103
How nice for both of you.

1424
01:13:35,843 --> 01:13:37,606
Now, if there's any other
reason why…

1425
01:13:37,745 --> 01:13:39,508
And I think I'm
in love with you.

1426
01:13:39,647 --> 01:13:41,581
— What?
— I mean, I'm in love with her.

1427
01:13:41,716 --> 01:13:43,377
— Paolo, what are you doing?
— Telling the truth.

1428
01:13:43,518 --> 01:13:46,385
I'm not gay and I think
I'm in love with you.

1429
01:13:46,521 --> 01:13:48,079
I know I should have said
something before.

1430
01:13:48,223 --> 01:13:50,384
But every time when I started,
it seemed like the wrong time.

1431
01:13:50,525 --> 01:13:54,086
Or maybe I didn't
have the courage.

1432
01:13:54,229 --> 01:13:55,890
But then when you suggested
getting married.

1433
01:13:56,030 --> 01:13:58,794
I just got swept up with the idea
because I wanted more than

1434
01:13:58,933 --> 01:14:02,300
anything to stay.
I wanted to stay with you.

1435
01:14:02,437 --> 01:14:04,598
I know I should have said
something but…

1436
01:14:04,739 --> 01:14:08,106
But, What? You wanted to make a fool?
Out of me first?

1437
01:14:08,243 --> 01:14:09,904
Jacks. You know that's not true.

1438
01:14:10,044 --> 01:14:12,012
I have no idea what's true!

1439
01:14:12,146 --> 01:14:14,876
— Oh, Jacks.
— I trusted you!

1440
01:14:15,016 --> 01:14:17,985
I told you things.
I was naked in your bed!

1441
01:14:18,119 --> 01:14:19,677
Did you know about this?

1442
01:14:20,521 --> 01:14:21,488
— Yes.
— You?

1443
01:14:21,623 --> 01:14:22,590
— No!
— I told you!

1444
01:14:22,724 --> 01:14:24,692
Yes! And now I've lied.

1445
01:14:25,727 --> 01:14:27,786
I can't believe
I trusted any of you!

1446
01:14:29,330 --> 01:14:31,389
Jacks! Please…

1447
01:14:35,637 --> 01:14:36,695
Next.

1448
01:14:43,145 --> 01:14:45,409
— Go away!
— I'm coming in.

1449
01:14:47,216 --> 01:14:49,480
I should be very mad at you.

1450
01:14:49,618 --> 01:14:50,585
I'm sorry.

1451
01:14:52,421 --> 01:14:54,981
I'm just so stupid!
How could I be so stupid?

1452
01:14:55,124 --> 01:14:57,592
You're not stupid, you just saw
what you wanted to see.

1453
01:14:57,726 --> 01:14:59,284
I can't believe I trusted him!

1454
01:14:59,428 --> 01:15:01,396
I can. He's a great guy.
He deserves your trust.

1455
01:15:01,530 --> 01:15:02,690
Don't you dare defend him!

1456
01:15:02,831 --> 01:15:05,391
Look, all I'm saying is what's
really changed about Paolo

1457
01:15:05,534 --> 01:15:06,796
since he told you he was straight?

1458
01:15:06,935 --> 01:15:08,800
— Everything!
— Yes, everything you're used to.

1459
01:15:08,937 --> 01:15:10,199
Everything you're
comfortable with.

1460
01:15:10,339 --> 01:15:11,101
What's that supposed to mean?

1461
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:13,208
Have you ever considered you
didn't want to see

1462
01:15:13,342 --> 01:15:14,900
how Paolo really felt about you?

1463
01:15:15,044 --> 01:15:16,409
Because that would have
meant breaking your rule.

1464
01:15:16,545 --> 01:15:18,103
— What rule?
— To only have sex with people

1465
01:15:18,247 --> 01:15:21,580
you don't love and to only really
love people you don't have sex with.

1466
01:15:22,518 --> 01:15:23,883
— That's not true.
— Yes, it is.

1467
01:15:24,019 --> 01:15:26,886
Because that way you know
you can't really get hurt.

1468
01:15:28,023 --> 01:15:31,288
Look, Paolo hasn't changed.
He's still the same person.

1469
01:15:31,427 --> 01:15:33,987
He's still the same person
you know and believe in.

1470
01:15:34,129 --> 01:15:37,792
And think is kind and smart
and sweet and bloody sexy.

1471
01:15:39,134 --> 01:15:42,194
The only thing that's changed is
what might happen between you.

1472
01:15:46,742 --> 01:15:48,209
And he can tango!

1473
01:15:58,921 --> 01:16:00,479
God, babies. You were so right!

1474
01:16:00,622 --> 01:16:03,284
I mean when I think about it now,
he tried to tell me so many times.

1475
01:16:03,425 --> 01:16:05,586
And I just wouldn't let him.
I didn't want to hear it.

1476
01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:07,389
I didn't want to see it!
I was so blind!

1477
01:16:07,530 --> 01:16:08,588
Watch out!

1478
01:16:13,636 --> 01:16:16,196
— What time is it?
— 5:30. What time's his flight?

1479
01:16:16,339 --> 01:16:18,102
6! Hold on, babies.

1480
01:16:42,732 --> 01:16:44,495
— Ticket?
— Oh, I'm not flying.

1481
01:16:44,634 --> 01:16:46,192
Only ticketed passengers
past this point.

1482
01:16:46,336 --> 01:16:47,997
Yes, but I need to speak to
someone on the BA flight

1483
01:16:48,138 --> 01:16:49,799
to Buenos Aires.
It's an emergency!

1484
01:16:49,939 --> 01:16:51,600
Try the BA's customer
service counter.

1485
01:16:51,741 --> 01:16:54,005
— They can call the gate.
— You're a genius!

1486
01:16:56,346 --> 01:16:58,814
I have an emergency message for someone
on your flight to Buenos Aires.

1487
01:16:58,948 --> 01:17:00,882
Flight to Buenos Aires?

1488
01:17:04,020 --> 01:17:07,183
I'm sorry but that flight's
already pulled out of the gate.

1489
01:17:07,323 --> 01:17:08,984
It had an early departure.

1490
01:17:09,125 --> 01:17:10,786
An early departure?

1491
01:17:15,331 --> 01:17:18,095
An early departure?
What are the chances of that?

1492
01:17:18,234 --> 01:17:21,203
If this was a movie, there
wouldn't be an early departure.

1493
01:17:22,338 --> 01:17:24,898
If this was a movie,
you'd be blonde!

1494
01:17:25,041 --> 01:17:27,202
If this was a movie,
you'd be famous!

1495
01:17:28,044 --> 01:17:30,512
That's the problem with life,
it's nothing like the movies.

1496
01:17:35,319 --> 01:17:37,082
I can't believe
you're really going.

1497
01:17:37,221 --> 01:17:39,189
I'm following your advice.
I'm breaking my rules.

1498
01:17:39,323 --> 01:17:40,381
Good for you!

1499
01:17:40,524 --> 01:17:41,786
Are you sure you're
going to be OK?

1500
01:17:41,926 --> 01:17:44,292
Jacks! I'm not a child,
I'll be fine.

1501
01:17:44,428 --> 01:17:46,487
— I worry about you, Babies.
— You worry about everyone.

1502
01:17:46,630 --> 01:17:48,495
No, I worry about you more.

1503
01:17:48,632 --> 01:17:50,190
I just don't want you
to end up alone.

1504
01:17:50,334 --> 01:17:53,394
Well, neither do I.
And stop being so dramatic!

1505
01:17:53,537 --> 01:17:56,005
So stop living your life
like you're in some kind of movie.

1506
01:17:56,140 --> 01:17:57,107
Excuse me?

1507
01:17:57,241 --> 01:17:59,903
Stop trying to cast your true
love instead ofjust meeting him.

1508
01:18:00,044 --> 01:18:02,410
— When I meet him, I'll know.
— I'm not so sure.

1509
01:18:02,546 --> 01:18:04,309
Love isn't always
a lightning bolt, you know?

1510
01:18:04,448 --> 01:18:06,507
Maybe sometimes
it's just a choice.

1511
01:18:06,650 --> 01:18:07,674
Well, that's easy for you to say!

1512
01:18:07,818 --> 01:18:09,979
You're flying to Argentina
to meet the love of your life!

1513
01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:12,680
That's just it. I don't know
that Paolo's the love of my life'

1514
01:18:12,823 --> 01:18:15,087
but I've decided to give him
the chance to be.

1515
01:18:16,727 --> 01:18:18,285
Maybe true love is a decision.

1516
01:18:18,429 --> 01:18:20,590
You know, a decision to take
a chance with somebody.

1517
01:18:20,731 --> 01:18:22,096
To give to somebody.
Without worrying whether

1518
01:18:22,233 --> 01:18:23,791
they'll give anything back.
Or if they're gonna hurt you,

1519
01:18:23,934 --> 01:18:25,697
or if they really are the one.

1520
01:18:25,836 --> 01:18:28,805
Maybe love isn't something
that happens to you.

1521
01:18:28,939 --> 01:18:31,305
Maybe it's something
you have to choose.

1522
01:18:31,442 --> 01:18:32,602
So what do I do?

1523
01:18:32,743 --> 01:18:34,904
Well, you could start by
putting all of those fantasies of

1524
01:18:35,045 --> 01:18:38,606
true love where they belong
into your work of fiction.

1525
01:19:02,641 --> 01:19:04,006
'Love and Other Disasters.'

1526
01:19:04,142 --> 01:19:05,609
Nice title. Catchy.

1527
01:19:05,744 --> 01:19:09,612
But it'll never fit on the marquee.
How aboutjust 'Love Disasters? '

1528
01:19:09,748 --> 01:19:10,908
What?

1529
01:19:11,049 --> 01:19:12,414
I love that Jacks.

1530
01:19:12,551 --> 01:19:15,179
She's got that British
quirkiness audiences love.

1531
01:19:15,320 --> 01:19:16,480
'Hello, Babies! '

1532
01:19:16,621 --> 01:19:18,987
Yes, but technically she speaks
with an American accent

1533
01:19:19,124 --> 01:19:20,182
because she's grown up
in America so…

1534
01:19:20,325 --> 01:19:22,589
Nah, it's too complicated.
Let's make her English.

1535
01:19:22,727 --> 01:19:24,991
— Perfect part for Gwyneth!
— Gwyneth Paltrow?

1536
01:19:25,130 --> 01:19:27,496
Finest English actress of
her generation!

1537
01:19:29,034 --> 01:19:31,594
Brainstorm!
Orlando Bloom as the Mexican.

1538
01:19:31,736 --> 01:19:32,794
Paolo's Argentinean!

1539
01:19:32,938 --> 01:19:36,305
And we'll cover the American
angle with Drew and Cameron.

1540
01:19:36,441 --> 01:19:39,001
Drew Barrymore and
Cameron Diaz? As who?

1541
01:19:39,144 --> 01:19:40,406
Playing David and Tom.

1542
01:19:41,146 --> 01:19:43,114
I'm sorry, you want me to
get rid of the gay story line?

1543
01:19:43,248 --> 01:19:44,112
I don't want you to
get rid of anything!

1544
01:19:44,249 --> 01:19:46,410
I'm just saying instead of
David and Tom,

1545
01:19:46,551 --> 01:19:48,075
we have Daisy and Tina.

1546
01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:50,187
— I…
— Also, you gotta fiddle with that ending.

1547
01:19:50,322 --> 01:19:54,190
We need a bigger movie moment
when Jacks finally connects

1548
01:19:54,326 --> 01:19:55,987
— with Paolo.
— Yes, but…

1549
01:19:56,628 --> 01:19:59,096
Sorry, the whole point is
there is no big movie moment

1550
01:19:59,230 --> 01:20:01,289
because they both discover
that true love is a process

1551
01:20:01,433 --> 01:20:02,695
not an event.

1552
01:20:04,235 --> 01:20:06,100
You know, Peter. I get it.

1553
01:20:06,237 --> 01:20:09,104
This script is like
your baby, isn't it?

1554
01:20:10,842 --> 01:20:12,707
Well, yes, I suppose it is…

1555
01:20:13,244 --> 01:20:16,304
I understand that.
Believe me, I understand that.

1556
01:20:17,049 --> 01:20:18,101
Come here.

1557
01:20:18,841 --> 01:20:20,765
I want to give you some advice!

1558
01:20:22,095 --> 01:20:25,841
You gotta kill your baby!
You gotta fuckin' kill your baby!

1559
01:20:28,468 --> 01:20:31,015
Right. Thank you. Thank you.

1560
01:20:40,121 --> 01:20:41,083
Sorry.

1561
01:20:41,217 --> 01:20:42,869
— Peter!
— David! Hi!

1562
01:20:43,010 --> 01:20:46,157
— How are you?
— Good, good. You?

1563
01:20:46,296 --> 01:20:48,344
Great, I've managed to convince
Sotheby's to transfer me

1564
01:20:48,488 --> 01:20:50,943
back to London.
How's the writing going?

1565
01:20:51,077 --> 01:20:53,691
Good, thanks, I've finally
finished a screenplay.

1566
01:20:53,833 --> 01:20:55,383
Great! What's it about?

1567
01:20:55,525 --> 01:20:57,980
Oh, it's just about some guy
who realizes he's been

1568
01:20:58,115 --> 01:20:59,970
looking for love in
all the wrong places.

1569
01:21:00,107 --> 01:21:02,857
— Like in hotel lobbies?
— Yes, or in his head.

1570
01:21:03,592 --> 01:21:05,742
— Well, congratulations!
— Thank you, thank you.

1571
01:21:05,883 --> 01:21:07,433
You may want to wait
until you've seen the film.

1572
01:21:07,576 --> 01:21:11,220
I don't need to. I'm congratulating you
for having the courage to write it.

1573
01:21:11,360 --> 01:21:15,298
How it turns out or even if
it turns out that's out of your hands.

1574
01:21:16,241 --> 01:21:20,089
— Anyway, take care.
— Yes. You, too.

1575
01:21:34,234 --> 01:21:36,192
It's on the left when we get out.

1576
01:22:05,473 --> 01:22:06,525
David!

1577
01:22:08,760 --> 01:22:09,812
Peter?

1578
01:22:10,553 --> 01:22:11,515
Are you OK?

1579
01:22:11,648 --> 01:22:13,798
No. Actually, I'm very out of
shape and that nearly killed me.

1580
01:22:13,938 --> 01:22:16,586
But I needed to tell you two things.

1581
01:22:17,226 --> 01:22:20,768
First, I'm really sorry
I was so self-absorbed

1582
01:22:20,910 --> 01:22:22,460
when I first met you at brunch.

1583
01:22:22,603 --> 01:22:23,961
You don't have to
apologize to me.

1584
01:22:24,098 --> 01:22:26,848
Oh, no, I'm not apologizing to you.
I'm sorry for my own sake.

1585
01:22:26,985 --> 01:22:29,735
You see, I was so caught up
in my own head.

1586
01:22:29,873 --> 01:22:32,125
I missed out on getting
to know you.

1587
01:22:32,264 --> 01:22:36,373
And I would like to
get to know you.

1588
01:22:36,514 --> 01:22:39,162
I mean if you'd be willing
to give me another chance?

1589
01:22:39,301 --> 01:22:43,839
Maybe let me take you
out for dinner?

1590
01:22:46,374 --> 01:22:47,426
Oh, I don't know.

1591
01:22:48,265 --> 01:22:51,705
See, I've had this fantasy in my
head about having dinner with you.

1592
01:22:52,548 --> 01:22:53,906
What if you don't live up to it?

1593
01:22:59,121 --> 01:23:02,765
Oh well, then I'd just have
to keep taking you out

1594
01:23:02,905 --> 01:23:04,455
until I get it right.

1595
01:23:07,852 --> 01:23:09,210
— Yeah?
— Yeah.

1596
01:23:09,346 --> 01:23:11,201
— French or Italian?
— I think Italian.

1597
01:23:11,338 --> 01:23:12,390
Good.

1598
01:23:33,248 --> 01:23:34,300
Paolo!

1599
01:23:35,639 --> 01:23:36,691
Jacks!

1600
01:23:56,720 --> 01:23:59,074
Paolo, I've been such
a bloody fool!

1601
01:23:59,209 --> 01:24:00,567
Can you ever forgive me?

1602
01:24:01,102 --> 01:24:05,040
Love means always forgiving.

1603
01:24:05,882 --> 01:24:08,926
And I do love you, Paolo!
I do!

1604
01:24:19,095 --> 01:24:21,245
They made me write that ending.

1605
01:24:21,386 --> 01:24:23,638
Apparently, audiences demanded
that Jacks and Paolo have

1606
01:24:23,775 --> 01:24:25,733
this big Hollywood moment.

1607
01:24:25,867 --> 01:24:27,621
I loved that ending.

1608
01:24:29,055 --> 01:24:31,409
How can you love that ending?
It's so artificial!

1609
01:24:31,544 --> 01:24:33,298
It's a lot better than
what really happened!

1610
01:24:33,436 --> 01:24:35,484
I agree, I don't think having
Jacks arrive in Argentina

1611
01:24:35,627 --> 01:24:38,275
with a bad case of diarrhoea
would have had the same impact.

1612
01:24:38,416 --> 01:24:39,774
I loved how I came across.

1613
01:24:39,910 --> 01:24:41,765
You were played
by Drew Barrymore!

1614
01:24:41,902 --> 01:24:44,154
Who totally captured my essence.

1615
01:24:44,292 --> 01:24:46,713
Name was absolutely
brilliant in that.

1616
01:24:48,243 --> 01:24:50,993
Well, I don't like to brag but
I really think I stole the movie!

1617
01:24:51,130 --> 01:24:54,479
I mean, I was funny.
Touching. Eccentric. Real.

1618
01:24:54,617 --> 01:24:56,767
If a little old for the part.

1619
01:24:56,907 --> 01:24:59,057
And I have to applaud your decision
not to show me ending up with James.

1620
01:24:59,198 --> 01:25:00,657
Why? Are you ashamed of
our relationship?

1621
01:25:00,791 --> 01:25:01,549
No, of course not, darling.

1622
01:25:01,688 --> 01:25:02,740
It's just that you were
the villain

1623
01:25:02,883 --> 01:25:05,033
and itjust wouldn't have
felt very believable.

1624
01:25:05,174 --> 01:25:07,629
— What a clever boy you are!
— Thank you.

1625
01:25:07,763 --> 01:25:10,310
Making Talullah and her mother
look the same age!

1626
01:25:10,452 --> 01:25:12,500
That's very modern, Paul!

1627
01:25:12,643 --> 01:25:14,691
I'm so sorry!
My shoot went over!

1628
01:25:14,834 --> 01:25:16,293
You just missed
the story of our lives.

1629
01:25:16,428 --> 01:25:17,480
But with better lighting!

1630
01:25:17,623 --> 01:25:20,237
Everyone knows I wasn't the one
who reported Paolo to immigration, right?

1631
01:25:20,379 --> 01:25:21,034
Yes, darling, we know.

1632
01:25:21,175 --> 01:25:22,227
Well, I think this calls for champagne!

1633
01:25:22,371 --> 01:25:24,918
Oh, right! Claridge's, turn left!

1634
01:25:34,521 --> 01:25:36,376
— Babies, what's wrong?
— Nothing.

1635
01:25:36,513 --> 01:25:39,263
You wrote a screenplay.
And they made a movie out of it!

1636
01:25:39,401 --> 01:25:41,653
I know and I should be grateful.
Look, I'm very lucky.

1637
01:25:41,791 --> 01:25:43,839
It's just…
I don't know.

1638
01:25:43,982 --> 01:25:46,132
I just wanted to tell the truth
and somewhere along the line

1639
01:25:46,273 --> 01:25:47,427
it got mixed up with
a bunch of lies.

1640
01:25:47,568 --> 01:25:51,506
Nobody goes to the movies for
truth except possibly the French!

1641
01:25:51,651 --> 01:25:54,571
The truth is way too complicated.
And unsatisfying.

1642
01:25:54,705 --> 01:25:56,164
And hard to believe.

1643
01:25:57,095 --> 01:25:58,453
— Oh, my God!
— What?

1644
01:25:58,590 --> 01:26:00,344
— I think my waterjust broke.
— What?

1645
01:26:00,481 --> 01:26:04,125
I know, it's impossible, right?
I'm not due for another 3 weeks!

1646
01:26:05,262 --> 01:26:07,310
Paolo! Paolo!
She's having the baby now!

1647
01:26:07,453 --> 01:26:09,908
Call an ambulance!
Call a taxi!