1 00:01:07,726 --> 00:01:08,750 Cheers. 2 00:01:14,766 --> 00:01:15,892 Bitterman? 3 00:01:19,504 --> 00:01:20,971 Why are you shaving? 4 00:01:21,139 --> 00:01:22,868 Because Robin doesn't have a beard. 5 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:25,703 Bitterman, we're only doing this for a bit of a laugh. 6 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,402 We're not genuine crime fighters, are we? 7 00:01:28,580 --> 00:01:31,447 And if we were, you would not be my first choice of sidekick. 8 00:01:31,616 --> 00:01:34,779 Look at your shoes. They're your chauffeur shoes, aren't they? 9 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,520 I can see your tummy. 10 00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:39,857 Mr. Bach, are you sure you wanna go to your mother's fundraiser like this? 11 00:01:40,592 --> 00:01:42,116 I think it's black-tie. 12 00:01:43,295 --> 00:01:44,523 This is black. 13 00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:47,128 Just that Hobson said not to get into any trouble. 14 00:01:47,299 --> 00:01:50,530 What trouble could possibly come from a harmless game of dress-up? 15 00:01:50,702 --> 00:01:51,964 Hmm? 16 00:01:52,437 --> 00:01:53,461 Already bought the car. 17 00:02:01,546 --> 00:02:02,877 You think they're chasing us? 18 00:02:03,048 --> 00:02:06,211 Don't be ridiculous, this is the Batmobile. We're their friends. 19 00:02:06,384 --> 00:02:08,318 Driver, pull the car over. 20 00:02:08,487 --> 00:02:09,545 How do you slow down? 21 00:02:13,024 --> 00:02:16,152 - Where are the brakes on this thing? - What do you suppose this does? 22 00:02:24,035 --> 00:02:25,059 - Oh! - Ow! 23 00:02:36,181 --> 00:02:39,014 Ask the police for directions to your mother's fundraiser. 24 00:02:39,184 --> 00:02:41,448 I think that problem has been recently superseded. 25 00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:44,714 - Tell them it's at a museum. - We destroyed a beloved landmark. 26 00:02:44,890 --> 00:02:46,357 It's around here somewhere. 27 00:02:46,525 --> 00:02:48,652 I need you to not to talk for a little while. 28 00:02:48,827 --> 00:02:51,921 Good evening, officers. What seems to be the problem? 29 00:02:52,097 --> 00:02:53,428 You're drunk again, Arthur. 30 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,096 No. I have remained drunk since our last encounter. 31 00:02:59,271 --> 00:03:02,502 Let's go. Batman and Robin, out of the car. Come on. 32 00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:07,333 Could I just point out the elephant in the room? 33 00:03:07,512 --> 00:03:10,845 Are these testicles strictly necessary? They're an accident waiting to happen. 34 00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,415 Okay, let's go. Come on. 35 00:03:12,584 --> 00:03:15,883 See, I don't like being this close to these balls. 36 00:03:16,221 --> 00:03:17,552 I'll be right with you. 37 00:03:24,229 --> 00:03:25,287 Gotham is safe. 38 00:03:25,463 --> 00:03:26,555 Oh, man. 39 00:03:26,731 --> 00:03:30,167 If I could just write you a check for the damage to your golden cow... 40 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,599 ...we can all be about our business. Say no more. 41 00:03:32,771 --> 00:03:35,604 - Or not. Turn around. Come on. - What's it...? 42 00:03:35,774 --> 00:03:37,264 - Are we going to prison? - Yes. 43 00:03:37,442 --> 00:03:39,910 We're going to prison. We're going to prison, Bitterman. 44 00:03:40,078 --> 00:03:42,774 - Yes. - I knew this day would come and it's today. 45 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,671 That's all well and good... 46 00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:48,080 ...but it's not a market crash we're concerned about. 47 00:03:48,253 --> 00:03:49,845 Your concerns are legitimate, chancellor. 48 00:03:51,556 --> 00:03:54,354 I do assure you that Arthur's a bit more serious these days. 49 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,324 - He's begun to take an interest in finance. - Wonderful. 50 00:03:58,930 --> 00:04:00,955 - Could you excuse us? - Sure. 51 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:12,271 I'm sorry, Vivienne. The university cannot wager its endowment... 52 00:04:12,444 --> 00:04:16,107 ...on a fund with such an uncertain future. 53 00:04:24,689 --> 00:04:26,623 He's like a ship without an anchor. 54 00:04:28,593 --> 00:04:31,289 Maybe it's time we tied him to another ship. 55 00:04:36,301 --> 00:04:40,863 Tito! Tito, I'll see you at the cockfight. Better be what I think it is. 56 00:04:41,039 --> 00:04:42,973 Wow, you paid for everyone's release? 57 00:04:43,141 --> 00:04:45,735 It seemed unfair that we'd leave and that they'd remain. 58 00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:49,607 How do you explain this frivolous spending during a recession? 59 00:04:50,015 --> 00:04:51,039 Fair point. 60 00:04:51,216 --> 00:04:52,649 Uh, recession... 61 00:04:54,386 --> 00:04:55,512 Free money! 62 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,248 This is yours. 63 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:01,051 Okay, recession's over! We're in a boom! 64 00:05:52,277 --> 00:05:54,404 That was brave. What incredible flexibility. 65 00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:58,340 - Hello, Hobson. - Morning, Arthur. And friend. 66 00:05:58,516 --> 00:05:59,540 Tiffany. 67 00:05:59,718 --> 00:06:02,846 Oh, points for knowing her name and saying it with confidence. 68 00:06:03,021 --> 00:06:05,581 I made a mental association with my lamp. 69 00:06:05,757 --> 00:06:09,716 Tiffany, this is my nanny, Hobson, my best friend in the whole world. 70 00:06:09,894 --> 00:06:13,125 - Your nanny? - He's merely shaped like an adult. 71 00:06:13,298 --> 00:06:15,391 So how are you feeling on the other side of... 72 00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:17,933 ...that vast moat of champagne called "last night"? 73 00:06:18,103 --> 00:06:19,127 Splendid. 74 00:06:19,304 --> 00:06:22,569 Your mother called. She wants to see you this morning. 75 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:26,674 Vivienne? Why do you think Vivienne wants to see me today? 76 00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:27,903 It doesn't make sense. 77 00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:30,610 After destroying a world-famous landmark... 78 00:06:30,782 --> 00:06:35,276 ...and giving away $78,000 from an ATM, I can't imagine. 79 00:06:35,453 --> 00:06:37,751 - Is she gonna stay here? - Um... 80 00:06:37,922 --> 00:06:40,857 ...I wouldn't recommend letting him get used to your breasts, dear. 81 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:44,483 He's got an addictive personality, you know. He was at mine till he was 6. 82 00:06:44,896 --> 00:06:46,158 Hobson. 83 00:06:46,331 --> 00:06:48,925 I had to dab Tabasco on the nipples to see him off. 84 00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:52,365 - That lady has never once breast-fed me. - Despite his best efforts. 85 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:54,004 Hey, that's my purse. 86 00:06:54,172 --> 00:06:55,196 Oh. 87 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:58,274 Look, I don't know how that got in there. I don't know, Arthur. 88 00:06:58,443 --> 00:07:02,504 It's probably just one of those mysteries that will never be discovered. 89 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,580 JFK, who nicked my watch. 90 00:07:05,283 --> 00:07:08,150 - Oh, that's actually mine. - Bravo, well done. 91 00:07:08,319 --> 00:07:10,287 Something of yours in your handbag. 92 00:07:10,455 --> 00:07:12,923 No, you don't have to go through the pictures, actually. 93 00:07:13,091 --> 00:07:15,218 - Arthur. - Oh, don't worry about all that. 94 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,987 That's very rude. Invasion of privacy. 95 00:07:19,464 --> 00:07:22,661 Oh, you're leaving? I support your decision 100 percent. 96 00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:26,463 Will you be requiring a taxi or just getting into a random passing car? 97 00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:30,507 You guys are weird and racist. 98 00:07:30,675 --> 00:07:31,699 Bye-bye, Tiffany. 99 00:07:31,876 --> 00:07:34,936 I'll call you, if you've not stolen my phone. 100 00:07:35,113 --> 00:07:39,379 Help yourself to that priceless sculpture on your way out the door. 101 00:07:40,151 --> 00:07:42,244 Put it down. 102 00:07:44,456 --> 00:07:46,617 Say goodbye to your other new friends now, Arthur. 103 00:07:46,791 --> 00:07:48,691 They have to go back to the real world. 104 00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:53,695 Oh, I hate the real world, Hobson. I'll work from bed today if you don't mind. 105 00:07:54,699 --> 00:07:55,893 Hobson. 106 00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:58,028 Breakfast, now. 107 00:08:12,217 --> 00:08:13,844 Here. 108 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,486 Hobson! 109 00:08:22,694 --> 00:08:24,389 Hobson? 110 00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:28,163 Hobson! Hobson! Hobson! 111 00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:31,325 - Hobson! Hobson! - What? 112 00:08:32,203 --> 00:08:35,400 Lesbian Simon and Garfunkel, 61st and Park. 113 00:08:35,573 --> 00:08:36,972 Look. 114 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:48,575 Hmm. Well spotted. Another of your wasted talents. 115 00:08:51,089 --> 00:08:53,023 Wash your winkie. Thoroughly. 116 00:08:53,191 --> 00:08:57,423 Heaven knows what exotic wildlife that girl was harboring between her thighs. 117 00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:02,197 Whoa, Hobson. You're missing Asian you. 118 00:09:03,968 --> 00:09:06,562 Ah! You're going too quickly. You're pushing it too hard. 119 00:09:06,738 --> 00:09:09,798 - I don't like it here, Hobson. - Course you don't. People work here. 120 00:09:09,974 --> 00:09:12,442 But there's an elevator. You get to press the buttons. 121 00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:13,804 Silver lining. 122 00:09:25,056 --> 00:09:26,546 Mr. Bach? 123 00:09:26,724 --> 00:09:28,316 Your mother will see you now. 124 00:09:30,295 --> 00:09:34,163 Don't worry, Arthur, it won't take long. Then we'll watch cartoons. 125 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,774 Hello, Arthur. 126 00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,938 Oh, hello, Susan. 127 00:09:51,115 --> 00:09:55,950 I didn't see you there coming down this long, brightly-lit, unobstructed corridor... 128 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,088 ...walking straight towards me. 129 00:09:59,123 --> 00:10:00,613 I owe you a call, don't I? 130 00:10:01,259 --> 00:10:03,284 From January. 131 00:10:03,962 --> 00:10:05,953 We dated three months. You just disappeared. 132 00:10:06,130 --> 00:10:07,825 When Houdini did it, it was fun. 133 00:10:07,999 --> 00:10:09,296 Hmm. 134 00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:12,027 Houdini was a conjurer. He used to disappear. 135 00:10:12,203 --> 00:10:15,229 - I understood the reference. - I just thought it deserved more. 136 00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:21,003 You know, you're the only man I ever slept with who broke up with me. 137 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,145 - Really? - Really. 138 00:10:23,314 --> 00:10:24,611 Well, call me a romantic... 139 00:10:24,782 --> 00:10:29,048 ...but I believe that dating should involve crazy things... 140 00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:31,586 ...like talking. Oh, ha, ha. 141 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,816 - What are we gonna do with you, Arthur? - Release me into the wild. 142 00:10:34,993 --> 00:10:36,893 Hunt me down with dogs. 143 00:10:37,862 --> 00:10:39,557 Good luck with your mother. 144 00:10:45,536 --> 00:10:47,231 Come in, Arthur. 145 00:10:47,805 --> 00:10:50,740 Oh, hello. The future's now. 146 00:10:51,042 --> 00:10:55,638 Hello, Vivienne. I remember you from when I used to live in your womb. 147 00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,909 Arthur. 148 00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:02,953 Well, today, Arthur, we're gonna have a friendly chat. 149 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,645 Then a serious talk. 150 00:11:04,822 --> 00:11:07,347 And finally, I'm going to offer you an ultimatum. 151 00:11:07,525 --> 00:11:08,856 How does all that sound? 152 00:11:09,027 --> 00:11:11,086 Like it would be improved by vodka. 153 00:11:11,262 --> 00:11:13,253 So I hear you've been having fun. 154 00:11:13,431 --> 00:11:16,059 Quite the contrary, actually. I've been rather busy. 155 00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:20,671 I've got a riding boot shoot and, uh, I had a bit of a scare with Bitterman. 156 00:11:20,838 --> 00:11:24,501 Thought he'd found a lump. Turned out it was just his phone in his back pocket. 157 00:11:24,676 --> 00:11:26,041 But worrying time nonetheless. 158 00:11:27,412 --> 00:11:30,506 Well, that went very well. Surprisingly warm. Our best chat yet. 159 00:11:30,682 --> 00:11:33,617 I'm aware that our relationship has never been ideal. 160 00:11:33,785 --> 00:11:34,945 Mm... 161 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,681 No, please. Don't reproach yourself. 162 00:11:37,855 --> 00:11:40,346 Yes, motherhood wasn't your forte... 163 00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:44,359 ...but you did provide me with that lovable cloth monkey as a surrogate. 164 00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,360 You know, sometimes I'm glad he's gone. 165 00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:49,193 I'm gonna assume you mean Father and not Mr. Tickles. 166 00:11:49,701 --> 00:11:51,396 So that he never had to see this. 167 00:11:53,604 --> 00:11:56,732 In fairness, those two told me they were over 18. 168 00:11:56,908 --> 00:11:59,934 And that they weren't men. It's terrible the way you find out. 169 00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:04,440 Who is this lovable rogue who's rough around the edges, but with stars in his eyes? 170 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,714 What forgivable antics. 171 00:12:06,884 --> 00:12:10,615 Who could be anything other than charmed by this delightful individual? 172 00:12:11,389 --> 00:12:13,323 - Congratulations. - How can you squander... 173 00:12:13,491 --> 00:12:17,222 ...your considerable intelligence on idiocy like this? 174 00:12:17,395 --> 00:12:20,626 It's quite easy. I don't consider it to be idiocy... 175 00:12:20,798 --> 00:12:24,734 ...rather a savantish gift for defying death with fun. 176 00:12:24,902 --> 00:12:27,837 That's your justification? That's why you crashed a Batmobile? 177 00:12:28,005 --> 00:12:31,168 Yes, it is. Are we done? 178 00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:32,569 Sit down. 179 00:12:36,647 --> 00:12:42,210 When the sole heir of a corporation as big as ours gets arrested, it frightens investors. 180 00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,445 The nonsense has to stop. 181 00:12:44,822 --> 00:12:48,087 As the charming, coffee-colored gentleman who runs this country said... 182 00:12:48,259 --> 00:12:51,057 ...the time has come to set aside childish things. 183 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,857 I don't think you can say "coffee-colored." 184 00:12:54,031 --> 00:12:56,397 So I've arrived at a solution. 185 00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:58,601 - Susan Johnson. - Interesting. 186 00:12:58,770 --> 00:13:02,262 Dresses well. Borderline personality disorder. 187 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:03,873 How is that a solution? 188 00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:06,373 You're going to marry her, Arthur. 189 00:13:06,978 --> 00:13:10,379 - Why? - Susan is a very impressive woman. 190 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:15,112 Lovely, yes. She's certainly in control of that beast. 191 00:13:15,953 --> 00:13:20,014 Capable woman, and quite willing to help poor people if there's a camera nearby. 192 00:13:20,191 --> 00:13:23,456 Actually, if you want videos of Susan, you should come to my apartment. 193 00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:27,086 - I've got one that'll knock your socks off. - Bach Worldwide has been run... 194 00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:28,823 ...by a Bach for generations. 195 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,331 With Susan as one of us... 196 00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:35,063 ...investors will be comforted to know the line of succession doesn't end in a bottle. 197 00:13:35,239 --> 00:13:36,706 When did you become so cynical? 198 00:13:36,874 --> 00:13:41,004 Marriage isn't a tool to protect a corporate image. 199 00:13:41,179 --> 00:13:43,545 It's to validate unwanted pregnancy. 200 00:13:43,714 --> 00:13:46,274 If that's how you feel, Arthur, you give me no choice. 201 00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:49,044 As of this moment, you are cut off. 202 00:13:49,987 --> 00:13:54,390 What do you mean "cut off"? Cut off from you and the? 203 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:58,826 You don't mean cut off from the? 204 00:13:59,697 --> 00:14:01,756 The money, Arthur. 205 00:14:06,737 --> 00:14:10,798 No. I'm not gonna allow you to manipulate me, Vivienne. 206 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,102 I shall get married when I fall in love. 207 00:14:13,744 --> 00:14:17,202 I respect your integrity. You've just lost $950 million. 208 00:14:21,252 --> 00:14:24,050 Actually, Susan is a very special girl, isn't she? 209 00:14:24,222 --> 00:14:27,453 With that mouth, that velvety, beautiful mouth... 210 00:14:27,625 --> 00:14:29,058 ...like a clown's mouth. 211 00:14:29,227 --> 00:14:32,856 But not in a bad way. Like a sexy clown. 212 00:14:33,030 --> 00:14:34,964 And she'll make a wonderful wife. 213 00:14:35,132 --> 00:14:39,034 Yeah. I mean, who wouldn't wanna marry a sexy clown? 214 00:14:39,937 --> 00:14:42,132 Congratulations, Vivienne. You win. 215 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,774 I don't respect you, Arthur... 216 00:14:44,942 --> 00:14:49,140 ...but I do applaud your talent for self-preservation. 217 00:14:49,313 --> 00:14:53,215 Congratulations. You're gonna be a wealthy man for the rest of your life. 218 00:14:53,384 --> 00:14:55,909 That's all I've ever wanted to be. 219 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:02,788 The ring your father gave your mother, I believe. 220 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:08,460 It's like an ice rink for a mouse. 221 00:15:09,901 --> 00:15:11,027 I don't like Susan. 222 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:15,161 Well, I don't like you very much and we've been happily stuck together for 30 years. 223 00:15:15,339 --> 00:15:18,706 I know it's not perfect, but Susan is smart and capable... 224 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:21,276 ...and you need a woman like that to look after you. 225 00:15:21,445 --> 00:15:26,348 I think I already have one of those. In fact, do you want it? 226 00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:32,887 Hobson, will you carry on being my nanny? 227 00:15:33,424 --> 00:15:35,824 This is just my mother trying to control me. 228 00:15:36,427 --> 00:15:38,452 Hey, Hobson, do you have the checkbook? 229 00:15:38,629 --> 00:15:40,494 I wanna squander some wealth. 230 00:15:40,665 --> 00:15:43,566 Ten thousand dollars for this item from the czar's collection. 231 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:48,034 Are we all done at 10,000? Ten thousand dollars going once, going twice. 232 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,806 Twenty thousand dollars of money! 233 00:15:51,976 --> 00:15:53,841 Twenty thousand dollars is the bid. 234 00:15:54,011 --> 00:15:55,876 Thank you, sir. Do I hear 30? Do I hear 30,000? 235 00:15:56,047 --> 00:15:57,912 Thirty thousand dollars, please. 236 00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,140 Thirty thousand. 237 00:15:59,317 --> 00:16:00,807 Thirty-five thousand. 238 00:16:00,985 --> 00:16:03,647 How dare you. It's a challenge you want, is it? 239 00:16:03,821 --> 00:16:05,982 Yeah, I want a challenge, plus I bid first. 240 00:16:06,157 --> 00:16:09,388 That is irrelevant. The highest number has supremacy. 241 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,152 You've clearly never been to an auction. 242 00:16:11,329 --> 00:16:12,523 That's tit for tat. 243 00:16:12,697 --> 00:16:14,961 That's exactly how the situation in the Middle East began. 244 00:16:15,132 --> 00:16:17,191 You leave me no choice. 245 00:16:17,368 --> 00:16:20,235 One hundred thousand dollars and one penny... 246 00:16:20,404 --> 00:16:24,238 ...because you, sir, are a vile spendthrift. 247 00:16:24,408 --> 00:16:27,343 Well, that's the first sensible thing you've said all day. 248 00:16:28,479 --> 00:16:32,973 Sold to one of the Mr. Bachs for $100,000 and one penny. 249 00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:35,209 - Thank you, sirs. - Congratulations. 250 00:16:35,653 --> 00:16:36,950 Hey, come on, Hobson. 251 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,885 You know I've always coveted the cutlery of Czar Nicholas II. 252 00:16:40,057 --> 00:16:41,752 - Me too. - Oh. 253 00:16:42,326 --> 00:16:44,385 Our last item up for bid today: 254 00:16:44,562 --> 00:16:48,020 The suit in which Abraham Lincoln delivered his second inaugural address. 255 00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:51,695 Let's start the bidding at 50,000. Do I hear 50,000? 256 00:16:52,069 --> 00:16:53,866 I'll take it. 257 00:16:54,038 --> 00:16:56,700 And the teleportation device in which it stands. 258 00:16:58,042 --> 00:17:01,637 If you think this represents a victory over your mother's financial tyranny... 259 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:04,246 ...you're deluded. Thanks for the spoon, Arthur. 260 00:17:04,415 --> 00:17:07,851 - Anytime. Buy me a fork one day. - Where's Bitterman with the car? 261 00:17:08,052 --> 00:17:10,316 He said he was gonna be by the big gray thing. 262 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:11,750 - Where? - He said... 263 00:17:11,922 --> 00:17:14,755 ...the big gray sculpture thing with things on it. 264 00:17:14,925 --> 00:17:17,416 It was like a riddle. He can be very vague. 265 00:17:17,595 --> 00:17:19,790 It's the blind leading the drunk. 266 00:17:19,964 --> 00:17:22,558 Hobson, you find Bitterman while I wander off. 267 00:17:30,274 --> 00:17:31,434 Wow. 268 00:17:31,609 --> 00:17:32,633 What is this for? 269 00:17:33,210 --> 00:17:35,201 Where's everyone going? 270 00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:39,110 This is actually not Grand Central Station, it's Grand Central Terminal. 271 00:17:39,283 --> 00:17:40,409 - Oh. - Oh! 272 00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:43,985 - Sorry. - No, no, I was static in a thoroughfare. 273 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:48,256 Uh, I'm lost. Do you know where I can get a drink, please? 274 00:17:48,426 --> 00:17:49,586 Um... 275 00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:53,229 This is really all I have. 276 00:17:53,831 --> 00:17:55,128 Good luck. 277 00:17:55,299 --> 00:17:56,391 - Come on. - Coins. 278 00:17:56,567 --> 00:18:00,469 - I played with these when I was a boy. - Let's keep going. Time's a wasting. 279 00:18:00,638 --> 00:18:01,969 Speaking of time... 280 00:18:02,139 --> 00:18:06,098 ...the clock behind me is one of the most expensive clocks in the world. 281 00:18:13,317 --> 00:18:15,683 Thousands of people pass through here every day... 282 00:18:15,853 --> 00:18:18,219 ...and no one ever bothers to look up. 283 00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:22,086 It's magical. It's the only place in Manhattan where you can see the stars. 284 00:18:22,259 --> 00:18:25,353 But it wasn't always that way... Oh, you again. 285 00:18:26,964 --> 00:18:30,923 If you look in the corner you can see one dirty brick... 286 00:18:31,102 --> 00:18:35,801 ...and the whole ceiling used to be like that until it was renovated in 1998. 287 00:18:35,973 --> 00:18:40,307 Wow, this is brilliant. If you like ceilings, I've got a beautiful one above my bed. 288 00:18:41,679 --> 00:18:43,943 That sounded cheeky. I didn't mean that. It lights up. 289 00:18:44,115 --> 00:18:45,377 Thanks for that. 290 00:18:45,549 --> 00:18:48,950 If you direct your attention to the opposite corner, you'll see a... 291 00:18:49,453 --> 00:18:52,286 ...police officer. Miss, I warned you about this. 292 00:18:52,456 --> 00:18:55,186 You don't have a tour license and now you're impeding foot traffic. 293 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:56,758 Come on, up, up, everybody up. 294 00:18:56,927 --> 00:19:00,829 Officer, which law prevents this radiant stranger... 295 00:19:00,998 --> 00:19:03,523 ...from finding the magical in the mundane? 296 00:19:03,701 --> 00:19:07,797 - MTA Code 1085.1, Section 5. - Could you be more specific? 297 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,907 - Hey. Hey! - Oh, there's a chase. We're in a chase. 298 00:19:13,077 --> 00:19:14,635 Sir, grab my Lincoln stick. 299 00:19:14,812 --> 00:19:15,836 Chase! 300 00:19:16,814 --> 00:19:19,339 My mind is racing. My heart is pounding. 301 00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:21,508 This is my first chase, and I love it. 302 00:19:22,586 --> 00:19:25,885 - Let me through, I'm a free spirit! - West on 42nd. 303 00:19:26,490 --> 00:19:28,253 This is what I live for! 304 00:19:28,425 --> 00:19:29,551 We've got a runner. 305 00:19:29,727 --> 00:19:32,127 A chase is happening! This is a genuine chase! 306 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:33,991 Oh! I'm... I... 307 00:19:34,165 --> 00:19:38,659 - No, no, no. - I was gonna go get my license. 308 00:19:38,836 --> 00:19:41,532 You ran from me, Naomi. Now I gotta take you in. 309 00:19:41,705 --> 00:19:44,697 Besides, you've had three warnings for operating an illegal tour. 310 00:19:44,875 --> 00:19:47,343 Except this isn't an illegal tour... 311 00:19:47,511 --> 00:19:50,878 ...because these people aren't tourists, they're our family. 312 00:19:51,749 --> 00:19:54,115 Yes. They are, they're my family. 313 00:19:54,285 --> 00:19:56,344 That's my family. We're having a family reunion. 314 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,853 Reunion. Uh, that, for example, is Uncle Stuart waving there. 315 00:20:00,024 --> 00:20:02,219 Yes. Oh, hey, Uncle Stuart. 316 00:20:02,393 --> 00:20:05,419 Under that sun hat, that's Caribbean Diane Keaton. 317 00:20:05,596 --> 00:20:08,064 - Yes, exactly. - And also we have... 318 00:20:08,232 --> 00:20:10,462 Uncle Korean John Lennon. 319 00:20:10,935 --> 00:20:13,301 And this is, uh, Abe Lincoln, I presume. 320 00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:14,937 - Oh, no. - No. 321 00:20:15,105 --> 00:20:20,042 - He is my admittedly eccentric... - Fiancée. I'm her fiancée. 322 00:20:20,211 --> 00:20:22,543 He is my fiancée. 323 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,149 Oh. Mm-hm. 324 00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:31,317 Darling, you don't want these people to think... 325 00:20:31,488 --> 00:20:34,218 ...that you're some kind of random British pervert. 326 00:20:34,391 --> 00:20:38,555 No, I'm a very specific British pervert, which is why you fell in love with me... 327 00:20:38,729 --> 00:20:41,664 ...from our first date. Which was where, exactly? 328 00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:44,091 Grand Central. 329 00:20:44,268 --> 00:20:46,998 You had your first date at Grand Central Station. 330 00:20:47,171 --> 00:20:51,733 It wasn't a shabby affair. I'd hired out the entire place. It was deserted. 331 00:20:51,909 --> 00:20:54,673 Acrobats were in the place, put on quite a show for us. 332 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:56,311 - Didn't they, Naomi? - No, no. 333 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,675 The floor was strewn with a million petals. 334 00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:01,442 Their scent hung in the air like the sweet breath of angels. 335 00:21:01,619 --> 00:21:04,087 And we forgot ourselves entirely. Didn't we? 336 00:21:04,255 --> 00:21:06,155 And ran nude through that concourse. 337 00:21:06,323 --> 00:21:08,848 No, no, we just... We had clothes on and we ate. 338 00:21:09,026 --> 00:21:10,755 - What'd you eat? - Oh. 339 00:21:10,928 --> 00:21:12,327 Oh, what was that? 340 00:21:12,496 --> 00:21:13,963 - Pe... - Pe... Pe... Pe... 341 00:21:14,131 --> 00:21:15,155 PEZ. 342 00:21:15,332 --> 00:21:17,425 Have any identification, Mr. Lincoln? 343 00:21:17,601 --> 00:21:18,932 Actually, I do. 344 00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:22,470 Um, here you go. I think you'll find that should do the trick. 345 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,336 There's plenty more where that came from, if you catch my drift, hmm? 346 00:21:25,509 --> 00:21:28,034 Ah. You keep it, Arthur, and thank you for the show. 347 00:21:29,713 --> 00:21:32,443 - Naomi, get a license. Good luck. - Okay. 348 00:21:33,617 --> 00:21:35,949 What was that? Who are you? 349 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:40,056 I'm just a ragged-trousered stranger with a crazy hat. 350 00:21:40,224 --> 00:21:42,158 Oh, my God. 351 00:21:43,460 --> 00:21:47,590 Arthur, your safari into the pointless ends now. Get in the car. 352 00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:51,030 No. It's okay. Uh, Hobson can't tell me what to do. 353 00:21:51,201 --> 00:21:54,693 Yes, I can. I work for his mother. Get in the car. Bitterman, open the door. 354 00:21:56,006 --> 00:21:58,941 - Bitterman, close that door. - Get in the car. 355 00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:01,009 - Not you, Bitterman. - Yes, you, Bitterman. 356 00:22:01,178 --> 00:22:04,204 I'm sorry. Who are you people? 357 00:22:04,381 --> 00:22:05,712 I'm his nanny. 358 00:22:06,917 --> 00:22:08,214 I'm not, I'm Bitterman. 359 00:22:08,385 --> 00:22:12,719 Well, I have to get back to our confused family over there, so have a nice day. 360 00:22:12,890 --> 00:22:14,221 Oh, hang... Uh, excuse me. 361 00:22:15,025 --> 00:22:18,222 Naomi Quinn, I'd like to see you again. 362 00:22:18,395 --> 00:22:21,831 - I don't date boys who have nannies. - Very wise choice. 363 00:22:21,999 --> 00:22:24,934 You're not the first woman who walks the streets for a living... 364 00:22:25,102 --> 00:22:26,569 ...that he's taken a liking to. 365 00:22:28,205 --> 00:22:29,570 Is she always with you? 366 00:22:32,042 --> 00:22:36,376 Okay. 917-176-2030. 367 00:22:36,547 --> 00:22:39,209 - Uh... Did you remember that? - No. 368 00:22:45,756 --> 00:22:47,087 Arthur, get in the car. 369 00:22:48,392 --> 00:22:53,261 I'm gonna get in the car now, but because I want to, not because you have told me to. 370 00:22:53,597 --> 00:22:55,030 Distinction. 371 00:22:55,199 --> 00:22:56,461 Bitterman. 372 00:22:57,067 --> 00:23:01,094 It was magical. We ran from the police, then we lied to them. 373 00:23:01,271 --> 00:23:04,263 - Have you ever had days like that, Evander? - I believe I have. 374 00:23:05,642 --> 00:23:09,874 Me and this girl are two perfectly matched opponents, like you and Mike Tyson. 375 00:23:10,047 --> 00:23:11,708 - She could be the one. - Yes. 376 00:23:11,882 --> 00:23:14,612 Oh. I'm so sorry. That went right through your guard. 377 00:23:14,785 --> 00:23:16,946 - Are you okay? - I'll make it. 378 00:23:17,121 --> 00:23:18,645 What I like about her, Naomi... 379 00:23:18,822 --> 00:23:21,382 ...is she's got a very unique way of seeing the world. 380 00:23:21,558 --> 00:23:22,820 So do flies. 381 00:23:22,993 --> 00:23:26,793 This is a repeat of when you were certain you needed a pet giraffe to be happy. 382 00:23:26,964 --> 00:23:30,456 - Well, you were bored after a week. - Because he ate his monocle. 383 00:23:30,634 --> 00:23:32,932 The brute had no regard for fashion, Evander. 384 00:23:33,103 --> 00:23:36,163 No, because you were from two different worlds, the same as this girl. 385 00:23:36,340 --> 00:23:39,537 Listen, could you just let me focus on my jab and refresh me, please? 386 00:23:41,278 --> 00:23:44,338 - Aah! That's vodka in there. - Refreshed? 387 00:23:44,915 --> 00:23:48,942 No, but I think some of it probably went in my bloodstream so it's not all bad news. 388 00:23:49,353 --> 00:23:51,412 - Get dressed. - Why? 389 00:23:51,588 --> 00:23:53,920 Because at 3:00 you're going to ask Burt Johnson... 390 00:23:54,091 --> 00:23:56,025 ...for his daughter's hand in marriage. 391 00:23:56,193 --> 00:23:59,526 I will do no such thing. I'm going to remain here and box with Evander. 392 00:23:59,696 --> 00:24:02,824 And then I shall have my music lesson with Kanye West as planned. 393 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:04,758 Out, now. 394 00:24:07,271 --> 00:24:09,000 Make me. 395 00:24:12,309 --> 00:24:14,038 I'll just have a bit of fun with her. 396 00:24:14,211 --> 00:24:16,179 Use the old rope-a-dope, I should think. 397 00:24:16,346 --> 00:24:19,543 - Stick and move, like you taught me. - Arthur, after you're married... 398 00:24:19,716 --> 00:24:22,708 ...you're going to have to stop this obsession with random women. 399 00:24:22,886 --> 00:24:25,377 She is not a random woman, she understands me. 400 00:24:25,556 --> 00:24:29,822 She laughs at my jokes. She's like you, but with a more appropriate potential for sex. 401 00:24:32,396 --> 00:24:36,890 Ow! That really hurt. Evander, you assured me I was indestructible. 402 00:24:37,067 --> 00:24:39,160 Burt Johnson, 3:00. 403 00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:44,935 Evander, if he's not out of this ring in one minute, I'll bite your other ear off. 404 00:25:03,193 --> 00:25:05,423 What am I doing here, Bitterman? 405 00:25:05,863 --> 00:25:08,991 Uh, you asked me to drive you to the Burt Johnson Tower. 406 00:25:11,235 --> 00:25:14,102 - But if you were me... - I would like that very much. 407 00:25:14,371 --> 00:25:16,202 That's very flattering. 408 00:25:16,373 --> 00:25:20,173 But if you were me and you were in this situation... 409 00:25:20,344 --> 00:25:22,539 ...what would you do? What should I say? 410 00:25:22,713 --> 00:25:28,276 Uh, I'd go in there and say, um, "Mr. Johnson, I like your tower. 411 00:25:29,586 --> 00:25:31,247 But I love your daughter." 412 00:25:31,421 --> 00:25:34,686 - But I don't love his daughter. - Don't say that, because then he'll say no. 413 00:25:35,893 --> 00:25:37,292 You've been very helpful. 414 00:25:39,162 --> 00:25:41,426 Put this on. Wait here. 415 00:25:41,598 --> 00:25:43,691 It's the same as your one. 416 00:25:43,867 --> 00:25:46,233 "BJ," I'll never get tired of that. 417 00:25:54,645 --> 00:25:56,704 Woo-hoo, Bitterman! 418 00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:09,989 Bloody hell. 419 00:26:10,260 --> 00:26:12,091 It's an apocalyptic future. 420 00:26:12,262 --> 00:26:15,629 The Upper East Side lay in absolute ruin. 421 00:26:15,799 --> 00:26:17,960 The machines have taken over, as usual. 422 00:26:18,135 --> 00:26:20,000 Ah, malevolent toaster. 423 00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:23,104 Only one man can save civilization. 424 00:26:23,273 --> 00:26:26,106 And that man is Arthur Bach. 425 00:26:26,276 --> 00:26:28,244 Justice! 426 00:26:41,458 --> 00:26:42,482 Hello, Arthur. 427 00:26:42,659 --> 00:26:46,993 - Uh, sorry, I've never used... - Never used what, Arthur? 428 00:26:47,164 --> 00:26:50,099 One of these guns what makes nails come out of it. 429 00:26:50,267 --> 00:26:54,601 Oh, the Grip-Rite GR 350. 430 00:26:55,038 --> 00:26:56,630 It's a good gun. 431 00:26:56,807 --> 00:27:00,402 It's lovely, isn't it? It's also one of my favorites. 432 00:27:01,445 --> 00:27:03,709 Do you know you've got nails sticking in you? 433 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,314 Framing nails. 434 00:27:06,683 --> 00:27:08,708 Standard. 435 00:27:10,053 --> 00:27:12,783 Well, I love what you've done with the place, Burt. 436 00:27:12,956 --> 00:27:15,982 It reminds me of a gay club I went to once in Copenhagen. 437 00:27:16,159 --> 00:27:18,457 This is gonna be my new office. 438 00:27:18,895 --> 00:27:20,920 Oh, my God. I live right over there. 439 00:27:22,466 --> 00:27:25,765 I can see my living room, Burt. That's interesting. 440 00:27:26,570 --> 00:27:27,662 And frightening. 441 00:27:27,838 --> 00:27:31,831 Did you put this building here just so you can spy on me? 442 00:27:32,009 --> 00:27:33,374 Mm-hm. 443 00:27:35,145 --> 00:27:37,010 Shouldn't you be getting to the hospital? 444 00:27:37,180 --> 00:27:42,379 If I ran off to the hospital every time I got a little boo-boo... 445 00:27:42,552 --> 00:27:44,383 Yeah. What's a nail through the body? 446 00:27:44,554 --> 00:27:46,249 Made a hero out of Jesus. 447 00:27:46,423 --> 00:27:49,517 Uh, Burt, I'm starting to feel a bit queasy. 448 00:27:49,693 --> 00:27:52,594 Let's cut the bullshit, Arthur. I'm from Pittsburgh... 449 00:27:52,763 --> 00:27:54,856 ...and now I own skyscrapers. 450 00:27:55,032 --> 00:27:57,557 Unlike you, I wasn't given my billions. 451 00:27:57,734 --> 00:27:59,634 I took them. 452 00:28:00,604 --> 00:28:01,662 But you know... 453 00:28:03,106 --> 00:28:08,738 ...I'm actually fine with my little girl marrying you. 454 00:28:09,212 --> 00:28:10,611 Do you know why? 455 00:28:10,781 --> 00:28:13,181 Because you've lost a lot of blood and you're disoriented? 456 00:28:13,350 --> 00:28:16,717 My little Susan can turn you around. 457 00:28:16,887 --> 00:28:21,517 You know, she once bought a crack house and turned it into a condo. 458 00:28:21,692 --> 00:28:24,058 That's funny, I once did the exact opposite. 459 00:28:24,361 --> 00:28:29,424 Now, you listen to me carefully. I need to trust that you'll do what she says. 460 00:28:29,599 --> 00:28:30,725 - Yes. - Table saw. 461 00:28:32,102 --> 00:28:34,798 Most dangerous piece of equipment on a job site. 462 00:28:34,971 --> 00:28:37,963 Hands five inches on either side of the blade and you'll be fine. 463 00:28:38,141 --> 00:28:41,474 - No, I don't like things like this. - Come on. You can do it. 464 00:28:41,645 --> 00:28:43,306 No... Just, uh... Just push it through. 465 00:28:48,085 --> 00:28:51,316 I did it, Burt! I did a man thing! That was incredible. 466 00:28:51,488 --> 00:28:54,252 - Let's saw something else in half. - How about your finger? 467 00:28:54,791 --> 00:28:55,917 My finger? 468 00:28:56,093 --> 00:29:00,257 It's okay, the saw has a safety device. It detects moisture. 469 00:29:00,430 --> 00:29:04,992 Anything containing moisture touches that blade, and bam, it'll stop. 470 00:29:05,168 --> 00:29:07,568 That sounds a little bit risky to me, Burt. 471 00:29:07,738 --> 00:29:09,069 Use your tongue. 472 00:29:09,906 --> 00:29:12,431 - My tongue? - Plenty of moisture in your tongue. 473 00:29:12,609 --> 00:29:14,941 Oh, no. I don't think I should do that, Burt. 474 00:29:15,112 --> 00:29:18,479 I think I'd like to go back over there now to house. 475 00:29:18,648 --> 00:29:21,014 - No, Burt! What are you doing? - Lick the saw! 476 00:29:21,184 --> 00:29:23,778 No, Burt. You've taken leave of your senses. 477 00:29:23,954 --> 00:29:26,479 You need to stick out your tongue or it won't sense the moisture. 478 00:29:27,858 --> 00:29:29,450 I want my nanny. 479 00:29:52,048 --> 00:29:55,984 Mr. Johnson, a very wise man once said: 480 00:29:56,153 --> 00:30:00,613 "I like your tower, but I love your daughter." 481 00:30:00,791 --> 00:30:02,452 Can I marry her, please? 482 00:30:02,626 --> 00:30:04,787 Sure. 483 00:30:07,831 --> 00:30:10,629 - Pascal, I'm gonna have the veal. - Excellent choice. 484 00:30:10,801 --> 00:30:13,964 Could you tell Jerome, please, that it was a little dry last time? 485 00:30:14,137 --> 00:30:15,570 - I will see to it. - Thank you. 486 00:30:15,739 --> 00:30:19,470 - For you, sir? - Just a caldron of tequila and a spoon. 487 00:30:21,978 --> 00:30:24,003 I hear you have something to ask me. 488 00:30:24,181 --> 00:30:26,012 Yeah, I do, as a matter of fact, Susan. 489 00:30:26,183 --> 00:30:28,981 Would you mind telling me what the bloody hell's been going on? 490 00:30:29,152 --> 00:30:32,019 We're having a magical night. I don't understand. 491 00:30:32,189 --> 00:30:34,817 You don't understand that there's a macabre conspiracy... 492 00:30:34,991 --> 00:30:37,585 ...to inveigle me into a loveless marriage. Susan, we... 493 00:30:37,761 --> 00:30:40,025 - "Loveless marriage." - We should not get married. 494 00:30:40,197 --> 00:30:42,427 We don't have anything in common, do we? 495 00:30:42,599 --> 00:30:47,059 I mean, we don't like the same food. Veal? I think that's really cruel. 496 00:30:47,237 --> 00:30:49,102 Do you like it because it's cruel? 497 00:30:49,773 --> 00:30:52,367 We don't like the same people, music. 498 00:30:52,542 --> 00:30:54,339 You love horses. 499 00:30:54,511 --> 00:30:56,069 - I do. - I don't trust them. 500 00:30:56,246 --> 00:30:58,407 - Think about this. - Their eyes, their sneaky feet. 501 00:30:58,582 --> 00:31:02,040 - This is a business... Stay with me. - Their shoes are permanent. 502 00:31:02,219 --> 00:31:05,086 - All you have to do... - Who makes that commitment to a shoe? 503 00:31:05,255 --> 00:31:09,248 - Most marriages devolve eventually. - Mean faces. 504 00:31:10,627 --> 00:31:12,458 This is all it is, it's a business partnership. 505 00:31:12,629 --> 00:31:15,598 With the added benefit of attraction. 506 00:31:16,433 --> 00:31:20,733 Undeniably, you have got something dark and twisted in you. 507 00:31:20,904 --> 00:31:24,362 And for awhile, I thought I might be able to bugger it out. 508 00:31:24,541 --> 00:31:27,305 But I tried really hard and I think it's still in there. 509 00:31:27,477 --> 00:31:30,469 Reach into your pocket, pull out the ring, and say four little words. 510 00:31:30,647 --> 00:31:33,275 Okay. Uh, I don't love you. 511 00:31:33,450 --> 00:31:34,542 Try again. 512 00:31:35,285 --> 00:31:36,650 I like other girls. 513 00:31:36,820 --> 00:31:41,052 - Oh, well, me too. Let's invite one over. - I'll embarrass you. Daily. 514 00:31:41,224 --> 00:31:44,921 For example, look, I'm quite capable of this kind of conduct. 515 00:31:45,095 --> 00:31:46,119 I've seen it before. 516 00:31:47,497 --> 00:31:48,555 All right. Yes. 517 00:31:49,900 --> 00:31:53,392 That's just part of my repertoire. By thunder, here's a pretty dame. 518 00:31:57,173 --> 00:32:00,939 There. Hmm? What do you think about that? She's probably pregnant. 519 00:32:01,311 --> 00:32:03,905 - Well done. Go on. - Okay. 520 00:32:04,414 --> 00:32:06,177 Where's the kitchen? I'm going to the kitchen. 521 00:32:06,349 --> 00:32:07,941 - Coming in the kitchen. - Isn't he mad? 522 00:32:09,319 --> 00:32:10,650 I'm a naughty robot. 523 00:32:10,820 --> 00:32:12,947 - But I just love him. - I've got tin titties. 524 00:32:13,123 --> 00:32:16,991 This is what you're doing to me. This is how I feel. 525 00:32:18,361 --> 00:32:21,125 - I think this sausage is cooked. - Pascal, drinks, for everyone. 526 00:32:21,298 --> 00:32:24,495 I'll tell you what, it's a lot more fun in that bloody kitchen. 527 00:32:25,268 --> 00:32:29,034 Daddy did, uh, show you his little table saw, didn't he? 528 00:32:32,776 --> 00:32:36,303 Turn around and tell everyone you're crazy when you're in love. Ready? Go. 529 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:41,307 I don't know why I did all of those things just then. I go crazy when I'm in love. 530 00:32:44,854 --> 00:32:45,946 Sit down. Great. 531 00:32:46,122 --> 00:32:47,987 Help me. Help me. 532 00:32:50,293 --> 00:32:54,593 Embarrassing me or your family is the one thing that will not be tolerated. 533 00:32:54,764 --> 00:32:56,561 - Is that clear? - Yes, please. 534 00:32:56,733 --> 00:33:01,727 Sweet boy, this can all be a ton of fun if you let it. 535 00:33:07,043 --> 00:33:08,340 Shall we try again? 536 00:33:10,513 --> 00:33:14,313 On one knee. I'm just an old-fashioned girl. Just go ahead. 537 00:33:16,486 --> 00:33:18,886 Susan. Pfft. 538 00:33:19,055 --> 00:33:22,047 - Are you sure about this? - You're running from yourself, Arthur. 539 00:33:22,525 --> 00:33:24,823 I wish I was, because I'd let me get away. 540 00:33:24,995 --> 00:33:26,758 Ask me. Ask me. 541 00:33:27,697 --> 00:33:29,096 Have it. Go on. 542 00:33:29,566 --> 00:33:30,828 Yes, Arthur. 543 00:33:32,569 --> 00:33:34,127 Madames et monsieurs, the happy couple. 544 00:33:40,944 --> 00:33:42,434 Ah! 545 00:34:06,102 --> 00:34:07,296 Aspirin. 546 00:34:09,372 --> 00:34:11,340 Give me the whole bottle. My life's over. 547 00:34:11,508 --> 00:34:14,568 You're gonna be looked after and you're gonna stay fabulously rich. 548 00:34:14,744 --> 00:34:19,613 Maybe I'd rather be fabulously poor. Some poor people I see look really happy. 549 00:34:19,783 --> 00:34:22,650 That's because they're far away or you've given them money. 550 00:34:23,787 --> 00:34:25,584 What do you know, Alfred? 551 00:34:26,456 --> 00:34:29,721 Arthur, poor people have to work. 552 00:34:29,893 --> 00:34:33,989 They have to stand in the rain waiting for buses to take them to things called jobs... 553 00:34:34,164 --> 00:34:37,327 ...which they have to do all year round for holidays away from those jobs. 554 00:34:37,500 --> 00:34:42,301 Don't patronize me, Snobson. I know what a jobs are. 555 00:34:42,472 --> 00:34:43,996 I model riding boots, don't I? 556 00:34:44,641 --> 00:34:49,476 Posing in riding boots for another pampered prick is not a job. Now take your vitamin. 557 00:34:58,021 --> 00:35:00,421 - I erased her number. - Hobson, I have to see her. 558 00:35:00,590 --> 00:35:02,649 We'll unravel this engagement bollocks later. 559 00:35:02,826 --> 00:35:06,853 Arthur, you made the choice. An engagement is a promise. 560 00:35:07,831 --> 00:35:09,731 Be a man. 561 00:35:19,843 --> 00:35:22,471 Continuing on, this is Grand Central Terminal... 562 00:35:22,645 --> 00:35:26,775 ...and it is home to more than 750,000 commuters a day. 563 00:35:26,950 --> 00:35:29,942 Boring. What a tiresome fact that was. 564 00:35:30,386 --> 00:35:34,789 Oh, ladies and gentlemen, this is a classic New York architectural feature: 565 00:35:34,958 --> 00:35:37,324 The man who takes your number and then never calls you. 566 00:35:37,494 --> 00:35:38,518 Ooh. 567 00:35:38,695 --> 00:35:41,163 - I'm bored too. - Yeah, he's bored, I'm bored... 568 00:35:41,331 --> 00:35:45,700 ...the whole tour is really bored. Come on, liven it up, lady. 569 00:35:45,869 --> 00:35:47,393 Okay, well, what about this: 570 00:35:47,570 --> 00:35:49,538 See that clock up there? See those statues? 571 00:35:49,706 --> 00:35:52,834 That's Jupiter and Minerva and Hercules. 572 00:35:53,009 --> 00:35:55,876 When the clock strikes 12, they reach down and they stop time. 573 00:35:56,045 --> 00:35:59,913 And then they go out on the town. They go swim in the Hudson and cavort at the zoo. 574 00:36:00,083 --> 00:36:03,382 - Sometimes they even go to a strip club. - Oh, okay. 575 00:36:03,553 --> 00:36:05,418 Okay, guys, that's the end of your tour. Um... 576 00:36:05,588 --> 00:36:09,183 Your complimentary pretzel awaits. It's only $5. 577 00:36:11,094 --> 00:36:13,153 - Wow, you look really, really amazing. - Okay. 578 00:36:13,329 --> 00:36:15,297 - I've got something to show you. - I don't... 579 00:36:15,465 --> 00:36:17,126 We're on a tight schedule. Come. 580 00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:18,426 - Okay. - Stop thinking. 581 00:36:24,641 --> 00:36:27,906 Um, Arthur, there are no people. Where are the people? 582 00:36:28,077 --> 00:36:32,343 The people have been rerouted for 45 minutes by me for you. 583 00:36:33,416 --> 00:36:38,649 It's sort of romantic, but in another way, it's incredibly selfish of you. 584 00:36:40,256 --> 00:36:42,315 Grand Central. 585 00:36:43,326 --> 00:36:45,624 Rose petals. 586 00:36:45,795 --> 00:36:48,389 Dinner. Oh, my God. 587 00:36:51,234 --> 00:36:52,861 This is our first date. 588 00:36:53,036 --> 00:36:56,870 Oh, is that what we said to the police officer? I'd quite forgotten. 589 00:36:57,373 --> 00:36:59,864 Wait, I'm not getting naked. 590 00:37:00,043 --> 00:37:03,774 Don't rule it out at this stage, it takes some of the pizzazz out of the evening. 591 00:37:03,947 --> 00:37:05,972 It's like we're the last people on the planet. 592 00:37:06,716 --> 00:37:10,948 Wow, this is amazing. Thank you. 593 00:37:17,894 --> 00:37:21,022 - There's a waiter on that escalator. - Shh. 594 00:37:21,397 --> 00:37:23,490 He's in formal attire. 595 00:37:23,967 --> 00:37:25,901 - He's carrying a platter. - Wait for it. 596 00:37:33,910 --> 00:37:35,605 Excellent. 597 00:37:37,347 --> 00:37:39,941 - Your dinner, madam. - Thank you. 598 00:37:41,017 --> 00:37:42,985 PEZ. 599 00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:48,823 These are us as PEZ heads? Ha, ha. 600 00:37:48,992 --> 00:37:51,358 You're the cute one. Well, the cuter one. 601 00:37:51,527 --> 00:37:52,687 Do you want me? 602 00:37:52,862 --> 00:37:54,159 - Thank you. - Ha, ha. 603 00:37:55,999 --> 00:37:57,762 Hey, you know, as soon as I saw you... 604 00:37:57,934 --> 00:38:00,869 ...I knew I wanted to eat candy bricks out of your neck hole. 605 00:38:01,037 --> 00:38:02,129 You're not the first. 606 00:38:03,706 --> 00:38:06,197 What do you think? Do you like it? 607 00:38:06,476 --> 00:38:09,445 Well, on my last date... 608 00:38:09,612 --> 00:38:13,673 ...the guy told me that I could only eat salad and then he said he was gay. 609 00:38:13,850 --> 00:38:14,976 - This is better. - Yeah. 610 00:38:15,151 --> 00:38:16,880 I mean, I'm heterosexual, so... 611 00:38:17,053 --> 00:38:18,077 Oh, already winning. 612 00:38:19,455 --> 00:38:22,049 Did you know that the zodiac is painted on backwards? 613 00:38:22,225 --> 00:38:26,218 It was a goof by the artist, but then the Vanderbilts, who commissioned the place... 614 00:38:26,396 --> 00:38:28,762 ...said that it was God's view of the heavens. 615 00:38:28,965 --> 00:38:31,365 Trust the Vanderbilts to see the world from God's perspective. 616 00:38:33,469 --> 00:38:35,164 There's a woman jumping behind you. 617 00:38:35,505 --> 00:38:38,406 Oh, yeah. I promised you acrobats. 618 00:38:42,111 --> 00:38:44,978 Arthur, this is... This is insane. 619 00:38:45,148 --> 00:38:47,548 Yeah, this is what money is for. 620 00:38:47,717 --> 00:38:53,246 Creating excitement and joy and acrobats and PEZ heads and... 621 00:38:54,524 --> 00:38:55,582 Italy. 622 00:38:55,925 --> 00:38:57,688 - What? - Let's go to Italy. 623 00:38:57,860 --> 00:39:00,328 Okay, let's go. When do you wanna go to Italy? 624 00:39:00,496 --> 00:39:06,696 - Tonight. I'll charter a jet. Giuseppe, hi. - I can't go to Italy with you tonight. 625 00:39:07,103 --> 00:39:08,832 Excuse me. 626 00:39:09,005 --> 00:39:10,063 - Naomi... - Mm-hm? 627 00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,139 ...I'm talking about Tuscany. 628 00:39:12,308 --> 00:39:16,108 White truffle gelato. Have you ever tasted white truffle gelato? 629 00:39:16,279 --> 00:39:18,440 It makes all other gelato taste like shit. 630 00:39:18,614 --> 00:39:23,074 Arthur, you emptied out Grand Central Station. 631 00:39:24,787 --> 00:39:26,687 Can't you just be here? 632 00:39:30,727 --> 00:39:32,388 Can I show you something? 633 00:39:34,430 --> 00:39:36,455 After we moved to New York when I was 11... 634 00:39:36,632 --> 00:39:38,930 ...my mom used to bring me down here all the time. 635 00:39:39,102 --> 00:39:42,071 We'd take the train in from Queens. 636 00:39:42,238 --> 00:39:45,935 This is the Whisper Wall. It's a really special place. 637 00:39:46,109 --> 00:39:49,670 Okay, you have to go in that corner, and I'll be over here. 638 00:39:49,846 --> 00:39:51,939 And say something. 639 00:39:52,115 --> 00:39:53,275 What? 640 00:39:53,649 --> 00:39:54,877 I don't know, anything. 641 00:39:55,184 --> 00:39:59,951 Oh, you could call me up and ask me out, like you failed to do. 642 00:40:00,923 --> 00:40:02,823 Good idea. 643 00:40:05,995 --> 00:40:09,260 Hello, this is Arthur. Is Naomi there, please? 644 00:40:09,432 --> 00:40:11,559 Yes, this is Naomi. 645 00:40:11,868 --> 00:40:15,668 My God, that's amazing. You're over there, but I can hear you perfectly over here. 646 00:40:15,838 --> 00:40:18,306 - It's acoustics. - Wow. 647 00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:20,107 I'm gonna buy one of these. 648 00:40:20,476 --> 00:40:23,001 You don't have to buy it, it's free. 649 00:40:23,346 --> 00:40:25,177 Incredible. 650 00:40:26,082 --> 00:40:28,243 I was just having a phone call, so I've gotta go back. 651 00:40:28,418 --> 00:40:29,680 Oh. 652 00:40:30,987 --> 00:40:36,323 If you're, um, not too busy, would you like to maybe go on a date with me? 653 00:40:38,828 --> 00:40:43,322 Actually, I'm free right now if you'd like to do something simple. 654 00:40:43,499 --> 00:40:45,592 Food, my house? 655 00:40:55,878 --> 00:40:57,106 What is this, please? 656 00:40:58,014 --> 00:41:02,314 - Oh, this is, um, generic brand Saucy-Os. - Saucy-Os. 657 00:41:02,485 --> 00:41:07,787 Yeah. It's one of the few times the generic brand's actually better than the real thing. 658 00:41:07,957 --> 00:41:10,323 Something happens in the factory. 659 00:41:12,161 --> 00:41:13,355 It's delicious. 660 00:41:13,529 --> 00:41:15,224 Welcome to the life of humans. 661 00:41:15,398 --> 00:41:17,764 It is the culinary success of the season. 662 00:41:19,435 --> 00:41:20,993 - Mademoiselle, you are... - Shh. Shh. Shh. 663 00:41:21,170 --> 00:41:23,297 - What? - My dad is asleep. 664 00:41:23,473 --> 00:41:26,067 But your mum wears earplugs, so we don't need to worry about her. 665 00:41:26,242 --> 00:41:29,177 My mom doesn't wear anything anymore. 666 00:41:29,345 --> 00:41:31,870 Naked. Sleeping au naturel. 667 00:41:32,048 --> 00:41:33,413 She's dead. 668 00:41:35,151 --> 00:41:36,175 I'm so sorry. 669 00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,347 She died, um, last year. 670 00:41:39,522 --> 00:41:43,652 It's really recent, and I made a joke about your dead nude mum. I'm so sorry, Naomi. 671 00:41:43,826 --> 00:41:47,489 - No, no, no, really, it's okay. - I'm always doing things like that. 672 00:41:48,064 --> 00:41:52,228 If it's any consolation, my dad is similarly deceased. 673 00:41:52,401 --> 00:41:54,198 I'm so sorry. Was that recent? 674 00:41:54,370 --> 00:41:58,329 No, it was when I was a child, so you've won that round, but, uh... 675 00:41:58,508 --> 00:42:00,339 - Point, Naomi. - Right, well done. 676 00:42:00,510 --> 00:42:03,274 You're winning, but it's not too late for me to run home... 677 00:42:03,446 --> 00:42:05,971 ...and butcher my mother just to edge into the lead. 678 00:42:06,148 --> 00:42:08,446 Uh, no. My dad died when I was a kid. 679 00:42:08,618 --> 00:42:12,611 He was by all accounts a very sensible, uh, frugal man... 680 00:42:12,788 --> 00:42:15,052 ...who didn't drink, didn't smoke, walked everywhere. 681 00:42:15,224 --> 00:42:16,248 Hmm. 682 00:42:16,425 --> 00:42:19,622 Dropped dead of a heart attack when he was 44. 683 00:42:19,795 --> 00:42:22,491 Lesson being, why bother taking care of yourself? 684 00:42:22,698 --> 00:42:24,632 - Cheers. - I don't think that's the lesson. 685 00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:26,358 - It's the lesson I learned. - Cheers. 686 00:42:26,536 --> 00:42:27,560 Mm. 687 00:42:29,805 --> 00:42:31,102 Ah. 688 00:42:31,274 --> 00:42:32,901 No, thanks. 689 00:42:33,709 --> 00:42:35,142 What were you like as a kid? 690 00:42:35,311 --> 00:42:38,576 Well, ha, ha, aside from being grief-stricken... 691 00:42:38,748 --> 00:42:41,512 - Ha, ha, yes. - I was kind of little... 692 00:42:41,717 --> 00:42:43,582 ...and I didn't drink so much then. 693 00:42:43,753 --> 00:42:46,984 What about you? Did you drink much as a child? 694 00:42:47,156 --> 00:42:48,384 Strictly juice boxes. 695 00:42:48,558 --> 00:42:50,526 - What a weirdo. - I was a weirdo. 696 00:42:50,726 --> 00:42:52,853 I thought that the moon followed me everywhere. 697 00:42:53,029 --> 00:42:55,122 I thought it meant something special was gonna happen. 698 00:42:55,498 --> 00:42:58,331 Well, that's a pretty ridiculous hypotheses, Naomi... 699 00:42:58,501 --> 00:43:01,834 ...because by that notion, the moon would be out there right n... 700 00:43:03,205 --> 00:43:06,663 Naomi, the moon is literally out there right now spying on us... 701 00:43:06,842 --> 00:43:10,608 ...his light shining down on your face and clutter. 702 00:43:10,780 --> 00:43:12,372 What is all these things? 703 00:43:14,650 --> 00:43:15,912 - My dad's pills. - Hmm. 704 00:43:16,519 --> 00:43:20,546 Got a lot of incriminating stuff lying around in here young la... What's this for? 705 00:43:20,756 --> 00:43:22,451 - That's nothing. That's... - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 706 00:43:22,625 --> 00:43:25,185 This is not nothing. This is something. 707 00:43:26,862 --> 00:43:30,229 I used to write stories and draw pictures for kids. 708 00:43:30,399 --> 00:43:31,423 Ah. 709 00:43:32,168 --> 00:43:33,192 Wow. 710 00:43:33,369 --> 00:43:36,463 "The Statue of Liberty had traveled all the way from France. 711 00:43:36,639 --> 00:43:40,632 She missed her friend, the Eiffel Tower, and her arm hurt." 712 00:43:40,810 --> 00:43:43,335 - Naomi, that's wonderful. - Thank you. 713 00:43:43,512 --> 00:43:46,970 In this, the Statue of Liberty is a lonely French giant. 714 00:43:47,383 --> 00:43:51,979 Yeah. And she stays lonely until she meets her friend, the Chrysler Building. 715 00:43:52,822 --> 00:43:54,153 That's brilliant, Naomi. 716 00:43:55,524 --> 00:43:59,187 You should quit your job and focus all your energy on this. 717 00:43:59,362 --> 00:44:01,262 - I can't. - Why? What have you got to lose? 718 00:44:01,430 --> 00:44:03,159 The house and electricity and... 719 00:44:03,332 --> 00:44:06,062 You can pay for all those things when this is published. 720 00:44:07,036 --> 00:44:11,496 Arthur, things like that don't happen to people like me. 721 00:44:12,208 --> 00:44:14,676 Then why is the moon still following you? 722 00:44:19,348 --> 00:44:21,475 But this doesn't wake your father? 723 00:44:22,084 --> 00:44:26,077 - He's used to this. - This could wake my father. 724 00:44:26,255 --> 00:44:27,279 From his grave. 725 00:44:29,892 --> 00:44:32,122 Okay, lovely, but a little closer together. 726 00:44:32,294 --> 00:44:34,888 All right. Smile, Daddy, smile. 727 00:44:35,197 --> 00:44:37,529 Okay, and now, I'd love to see some more love. 728 00:44:40,069 --> 00:44:41,593 What is this? 729 00:44:41,771 --> 00:44:43,739 Your engagement photo for Town & Country. 730 00:44:43,906 --> 00:44:45,771 How about a couple of you and your mum? 731 00:44:46,108 --> 00:44:47,598 Oh, all right, yeah. Okay. 732 00:44:47,777 --> 00:44:49,210 All right. 733 00:44:49,779 --> 00:44:51,770 - Vivienne? - Yes, Arthur? 734 00:44:51,947 --> 00:44:53,244 If hypothetically... 735 00:44:53,416 --> 00:44:57,750 ...uh, I was to develop feelings for a woman who isn't exactly Susan... 736 00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:01,117 ...kind of an un-Susan, an anti-Susan, as it were... 737 00:45:01,290 --> 00:45:04,885 ...um, how would that make you feel, hypothetically? 738 00:45:05,061 --> 00:45:07,825 Hypothetically, I'd say congratulations. 739 00:45:07,997 --> 00:45:10,397 But unfortunately, the most magical relationships... 740 00:45:10,566 --> 00:45:12,796 ...will wilt in the midst of grinding poverty. 741 00:45:12,968 --> 00:45:15,266 Wonderful. Arthur, how about a few of you... 742 00:45:15,438 --> 00:45:17,429 ...and your future father-in-law? - What? No, no. 743 00:45:17,606 --> 00:45:19,403 - Ha, ha. Hello, Burt. - Hello. 744 00:45:21,444 --> 00:45:23,742 I'll never get used to that handshake. 745 00:45:24,213 --> 00:45:26,113 Where were you last night, Arthur? 746 00:45:26,282 --> 00:45:27,647 What? Just at home. Home. 747 00:45:27,817 --> 00:45:29,444 You sure about that? 748 00:45:29,618 --> 00:45:31,415 - Yes. - My turn, Daddy. 749 00:45:31,587 --> 00:45:33,248 - Oh, Jesus. - Oh, great. 750 00:45:33,422 --> 00:45:36,823 This is for the cover shot. I need the bride and the groom, please. 751 00:45:36,992 --> 00:45:38,289 Get on the horse, Arthur. 752 00:45:38,461 --> 00:45:41,487 I love animals, but I don't trust you. 753 00:45:41,664 --> 00:45:42,790 Get on the horse. 754 00:45:43,432 --> 00:45:45,662 You will not make me cry today. 755 00:45:45,835 --> 00:45:49,771 For the riding boot shoots, we use a stuffed horse or sometimes a girl. 756 00:45:49,939 --> 00:45:51,839 - Maybe Daddy could help? - Yeah, let me help. 757 00:45:52,007 --> 00:45:53,907 - No, it's all right, Burt. - Help him up. 758 00:45:54,076 --> 00:45:57,045 You're a weak man, Burt. Burt. No, Burt, you're... That doesn't help. 759 00:45:57,213 --> 00:46:00,080 Ow! Oh, my God. Burt, you're not qualified. 760 00:46:00,249 --> 00:46:01,876 Aah! Ha, ha. 761 00:46:02,051 --> 00:46:04,019 That was no trouble. That was no tr... 762 00:46:04,186 --> 00:46:07,246 What a lot of fuss. What a lot of fuss about nothing. 763 00:46:07,423 --> 00:46:08,947 Okay, lovely. 764 00:46:09,325 --> 00:46:11,020 Who is she, Arthur? 765 00:46:11,694 --> 00:46:14,891 I don't know, I imagine she's called Trixy or Rocket. Something like that. 766 00:46:15,064 --> 00:46:17,032 Not the horse. The girl. 767 00:46:17,199 --> 00:46:19,064 I don't know what you mean. 768 00:46:19,235 --> 00:46:21,100 We'll be right back. Excuse us. 769 00:46:22,571 --> 00:46:24,505 Wha...? Aah! I didn't agree to this. 770 00:46:24,673 --> 00:46:27,141 First your father, now the horse. 771 00:46:27,309 --> 00:46:30,005 When will my testicles get some rest? 772 00:46:30,312 --> 00:46:34,840 Delaying a hundred commuter trains for a secret date wasn't the smartest move. 773 00:46:35,017 --> 00:46:36,780 It was in The Times and the Post. 774 00:46:36,952 --> 00:46:40,410 I must've hurt you with that. I understand if you wanna cancel the wedding. 775 00:46:40,589 --> 00:46:44,184 We're not gonna cancel the wedding. It's happening as scheduled. End of story. 776 00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:48,621 Are those gonna be your vows? "To death do us part, as scheduled"? 777 00:46:48,798 --> 00:46:52,666 Listen, Susan, is this about money? I've got news for you, you're already rich. 778 00:46:53,002 --> 00:46:56,699 I'm not you rich, Arthur. My family doesn't have a coat of arms. 779 00:46:56,872 --> 00:46:59,432 I'll draw you one. It's quite simple. It's usually just a sword. 780 00:46:59,608 --> 00:47:01,166 I hear them whisper at functions. 781 00:47:01,343 --> 00:47:04,540 In their eyes, I'm just the daughter of a contractor from Pittsburgh. 782 00:47:04,713 --> 00:47:05,839 They sneer when I walk past. 783 00:47:06,015 --> 00:47:08,984 That's probably just because of who you are as a person. 784 00:47:14,557 --> 00:47:17,355 Bach Worldwide has been run by a Bach for generations. 785 00:47:17,693 --> 00:47:21,094 Susan Johnson-Bach will be in control of one of the largest trusts in the world. 786 00:47:21,263 --> 00:47:24,391 You're not gonna get in my way. Say goodbye to your little girlfriend. 787 00:47:24,567 --> 00:47:28,526 But Vivienne. Susienne. Satan. Susan. I like this girl. 788 00:47:28,704 --> 00:47:32,265 We connect, she and I. She's spontaneous and... 789 00:47:32,441 --> 00:47:34,102 I'm spontaneous. 790 00:47:34,276 --> 00:47:37,211 Really? You planned to confront me during a contrived photo shoot... 791 00:47:37,379 --> 00:47:39,540 ...wearing an outfit you selected when you were a child. 792 00:47:39,715 --> 00:47:40,739 Ow! 793 00:47:41,016 --> 00:47:43,382 Okay, lovebirds, are you ready? 794 00:47:43,552 --> 00:47:46,248 Don't forget, it's all about the eyes. Those happy eyes. 795 00:47:46,422 --> 00:47:47,548 You embarrassed me. 796 00:47:47,723 --> 00:47:49,554 Embarrass me again and my father will cut off... 797 00:47:49,725 --> 00:47:50,783 I know, my tongue. 798 00:47:50,993 --> 00:47:52,585 No, your balls. 799 00:47:52,928 --> 00:47:54,293 Not if I keep them moist. 800 00:48:01,136 --> 00:48:02,899 Thoughts, Hobnobs? 801 00:48:03,072 --> 00:48:06,530 I think you're engaged, and going out with Naomi is a really bad idea. 802 00:48:06,709 --> 00:48:07,733 Exactly. 803 00:48:09,111 --> 00:48:12,308 Which is why I've invited her here. 804 00:48:14,450 --> 00:48:15,917 Arthur, think. 805 00:48:16,085 --> 00:48:19,714 I have thinked. And that is why we're all gonna hang out together. 806 00:48:19,889 --> 00:48:22,790 I've never hung out in my life. I'm not gonna start tonight. 807 00:48:22,958 --> 00:48:25,756 Hobson, if you get to know this girl, you're gonna love her. 808 00:48:25,928 --> 00:48:28,260 Arthur, you must tell Naomi you're getting married. 809 00:48:28,430 --> 00:48:31,593 You don't think that might rather mar the romance of the evening? 810 00:48:32,101 --> 00:48:33,125 Hello, Arthur. 811 00:48:34,670 --> 00:48:38,470 - Hi, Hobson. - Hello, Susan. How nice to see you. 812 00:48:38,641 --> 00:48:40,734 Can you just give us one little minute? 813 00:48:42,177 --> 00:48:44,304 Yes, of course. 814 00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:46,607 Thank you. 815 00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:50,776 Mm-mm. 816 00:48:52,121 --> 00:48:54,453 - What was that? - A French kiss. 817 00:48:54,623 --> 00:48:56,614 Really? Because the French always surrender. 818 00:48:56,792 --> 00:48:58,259 That was decidedly German. 819 00:48:58,427 --> 00:49:00,486 I was just at home feeling spontaneous. 820 00:49:00,996 --> 00:49:03,464 I decided to put on a little something spontaneous... 821 00:49:03,632 --> 00:49:06,567 ...and come over here spontaneously. 822 00:49:06,769 --> 00:49:10,569 Susan, mentally ill people are spontaneous. It's all about context. 823 00:49:14,076 --> 00:49:19,810 Oh, good, this is happening now. Shall we go to the bedroom? 824 00:49:19,982 --> 00:49:21,279 - You're a bit drunk. - Okay. 825 00:49:21,450 --> 00:49:23,850 So you just, uh... You wait here. Oh, no. 826 00:49:25,220 --> 00:49:27,188 Oh-ho. Lovely. That's come off. 827 00:49:27,356 --> 00:49:30,382 - Um, I'm gonna get ice. - What do you have in mind? 828 00:49:30,559 --> 00:49:33,255 Uh, I imagine there'll be some injuries. It'll reduce the swelling. 829 00:49:33,429 --> 00:49:34,896 Hurry. 830 00:49:37,733 --> 00:49:39,724 Naomi, I'm very happy to see you. 831 00:49:39,902 --> 00:49:41,028 - You are? - Um... 832 00:49:42,671 --> 00:49:44,366 Naomi, I'm so glad you're here. 833 00:49:44,540 --> 00:49:47,873 Um, did you kill Minnie Mouse or did she surrender her dress willingly? 834 00:49:48,644 --> 00:49:51,010 If it makes you feel better, she didn't suffer. 835 00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:54,215 Well, this is all very nice. Come in, Naomi. Come in. 836 00:49:54,383 --> 00:49:56,351 Now, I know we were gonna have a night in... 837 00:49:56,518 --> 00:49:59,453 - I can see why. - But, actually, why don't we...? 838 00:49:59,621 --> 00:50:01,885 - This is amazing. - Uh, no. Um... 839 00:50:02,057 --> 00:50:04,651 - That fish looks like a cat. - Naomi. No, it doesn't. 840 00:50:04,827 --> 00:50:07,057 - Wow, bubblegum rocket. - Don't look at that. 841 00:50:07,229 --> 00:50:09,925 Now, tell me where the room filled with buckets of gold is. 842 00:50:10,099 --> 00:50:12,431 It's over here, away from the bedroom, actually. 843 00:50:12,601 --> 00:50:15,001 You have a glittery camel. Why? 844 00:50:15,170 --> 00:50:16,899 They're 10 a penny in England. Ignore that. 845 00:50:17,072 --> 00:50:21,941 Naomi, let me give you a full tour of the apartment while Arthur primps himself. 846 00:50:22,111 --> 00:50:24,272 I'll be primping. I've gotta primp. 847 00:50:24,446 --> 00:50:27,381 - Oh, that's you. - Yes, thank you. 848 00:50:28,450 --> 00:50:31,317 Ah, Susan. 849 00:50:33,088 --> 00:50:34,919 You're posing suggestively. 850 00:50:35,090 --> 00:50:37,615 Do you like it, my fiancé? 851 00:50:38,727 --> 00:50:39,751 Buckets of gold? 852 00:50:39,928 --> 00:50:42,419 Broken lunar module. Silly bugger drove it down the stairs. 853 00:50:42,598 --> 00:50:46,398 Come through here. This should keep your eyes off the valuables for a few minutes. 854 00:50:47,770 --> 00:50:50,034 Get out. 855 00:50:50,205 --> 00:50:53,663 Oh, I love Looney Tunes. 856 00:50:53,842 --> 00:50:55,104 Are these always playing? 857 00:50:55,434 --> 00:50:58,994 No, it, uh, alternates between this and historical documentaries. 858 00:50:59,437 --> 00:51:02,736 - Really? - No. Just this. 859 00:51:02,907 --> 00:51:07,435 Okay, I just have to get the perfect place. 860 00:51:09,013 --> 00:51:10,310 Yes. 861 00:51:10,481 --> 00:51:12,711 Your friend will be with you shortly. 862 00:51:12,883 --> 00:51:16,148 Thank you. Oh, wait, don't you wanna stay? This is a really good one. 863 00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:19,948 Pepé tries to kiss Penelope Pussycat, but then he falls off the boat. 864 00:51:20,123 --> 00:51:22,091 You forgot to say "spoiler alert." 865 00:51:22,258 --> 00:51:27,696 You are my peanut and I am your brittle. 866 00:51:28,631 --> 00:51:31,429 - Ooh. - I'm Susan Johnson, your fiancée. 867 00:51:33,002 --> 00:51:34,799 - That's the problem, actually. - Come on. 868 00:51:34,971 --> 00:51:37,439 No. I'm getting up here, but this is not complicité. 869 00:51:37,607 --> 00:51:40,507 - I'm just helping you to get dressed. - Saving yourself for marriage? 870 00:51:40,676 --> 00:51:42,041 More the divorce, to be honest. 871 00:51:43,412 --> 00:51:44,436 Susan, my buttons. 872 00:51:45,814 --> 00:51:47,372 How much have you had to drink? 873 00:51:48,817 --> 00:51:52,548 - Glasses? Bottles. Okay. - Ha, ha. 874 00:51:52,721 --> 00:51:55,315 We are now in an area of my expertise. 875 00:51:55,491 --> 00:51:58,891 You are very drunk. You need to sleep it off. 876 00:51:59,060 --> 00:52:02,427 - Close that. That's good. Good. Don't... - Oh, that's... That's nice. 877 00:52:02,597 --> 00:52:04,531 - Try not to speak any words. - Mm-hm. 878 00:52:05,900 --> 00:52:06,924 Shh. Shut up. 879 00:52:08,302 --> 00:52:12,705 No, you're not a sexy cat. You're not a sexy cat. Stop that. 880 00:52:12,874 --> 00:52:14,705 I'm a bad kitty. 881 00:52:14,876 --> 00:52:17,344 You're not a bad kitty, you're a sleepy lunatic. 882 00:52:17,512 --> 00:52:21,743 I'm a bad kitty. I need to have my whiskers licked. 883 00:52:21,915 --> 00:52:24,315 There are no circumstances under which I'd do that to a cat. 884 00:52:25,685 --> 00:52:28,085 Go to sleep. That's enough of that. Stop it. Get... Ow! 885 00:52:29,456 --> 00:52:31,583 No! Unh. Ow! 886 00:52:35,829 --> 00:52:37,921 So this must be a fun job. 887 00:52:38,497 --> 00:52:40,624 Yes, it has its moments. 888 00:52:40,833 --> 00:52:44,667 Like trying to protect Arthur from people with dubious intentions. 889 00:52:44,837 --> 00:52:45,963 Hmm. 890 00:52:48,941 --> 00:52:51,409 Oh, you mean me. 891 00:52:51,577 --> 00:52:54,740 Because I'm totally after the money, if that's what you're thinking. 892 00:52:54,914 --> 00:52:57,780 How is the illegal tour guide business going? 893 00:52:58,283 --> 00:52:59,875 Feeds my dad. 894 00:53:00,552 --> 00:53:03,385 But I'm actually writing a book. A children's book. 895 00:53:04,155 --> 00:53:05,554 It was Arthur's idea. 896 00:53:05,723 --> 00:53:09,682 Well, make sure there are lots of pictures, otherwise he won't understand it. 897 00:53:09,861 --> 00:53:12,762 I think Arthur understands more than you realize. 898 00:53:19,467 --> 00:53:23,301 So, Hobson, are there any men in your life? 899 00:53:23,671 --> 00:53:26,162 Are you attempting to make small talk with me? 900 00:53:26,374 --> 00:53:28,934 I am attempting it. Is it working? 901 00:53:29,744 --> 00:53:32,474 - No, not really. - Darn it. 902 00:53:33,314 --> 00:53:34,406 So? 903 00:53:35,884 --> 00:53:37,350 Any man I've ever met... 904 00:53:37,518 --> 00:53:43,423 ...pales in comparison to the dazzling floor show that is Arthur's company. 905 00:53:46,693 --> 00:53:49,423 I know you were being sarcastic just then... 906 00:53:50,197 --> 00:53:53,394 ...but it really is quite dazzling. 907 00:53:53,567 --> 00:53:56,934 All is fair in love and war, eh, darling? 908 00:53:57,103 --> 00:53:59,230 Do you think he's okay? 909 00:53:59,405 --> 00:54:00,429 Ow! Ow! 910 00:54:00,606 --> 00:54:03,598 - Bad horse. - Ow! That's not erotic. It just hurts. 911 00:54:03,776 --> 00:54:05,710 No. Susan. Stop it. You can't do that. 912 00:54:05,878 --> 00:54:08,574 Horses and cats can't mate. Our children will be monsters. 913 00:54:14,420 --> 00:54:18,048 Hobson, it's not what it looks like. Unless it looks like a cat raping a horse. 914 00:54:22,027 --> 00:54:23,358 Arthur. 915 00:54:23,528 --> 00:54:24,961 - What's happening? - Oh. 916 00:54:25,130 --> 00:54:26,529 What has happened to me? 917 00:54:26,698 --> 00:54:29,565 I think the problem is your clothes are made of metal... 918 00:54:29,734 --> 00:54:32,362 ...and my bed is made of magnets. 919 00:54:32,537 --> 00:54:35,097 - Oh, you think so? - Right. Okay. Uh, stay calm, kitty. 920 00:54:35,273 --> 00:54:37,297 I'm not a cat anymore. I am a businesswoman. 921 00:54:37,475 --> 00:54:39,500 I think I have a remote control. Excuse me. 922 00:54:39,677 --> 00:54:42,669 - Uh... Ah, right. I've got the remote. - Get me off of here! 923 00:54:42,847 --> 00:54:44,781 Okay, I'm coming. I'm gonna... Ah, got it. 924 00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:47,543 - What are you doing? - Okay, it's not that, obviously. 925 00:54:47,718 --> 00:54:51,176 Uh, on the bright side, at least something in this room is attracted to you. 926 00:54:51,355 --> 00:54:52,652 For the love of God. 927 00:54:52,823 --> 00:54:53,983 Maybe this. 928 00:54:55,559 --> 00:54:58,118 - Oh, are you all right? - Not that. 929 00:54:58,294 --> 00:54:59,921 I'm not gonna press this anymore... 930 00:55:00,096 --> 00:55:03,862 ...because if I press the wrong button, the bed could fall and kill you. 931 00:55:04,033 --> 00:55:06,297 Which none of us would want. None of us. 932 00:55:06,803 --> 00:55:08,930 I've gotta go and get Hobson. She knows how this works. 933 00:55:09,105 --> 00:55:13,701 Oh, you are a useless man. You can't do anything without that miserable old woman. 934 00:55:17,779 --> 00:55:19,007 There you are. 935 00:55:19,648 --> 00:55:21,377 That was a lot of primping. 936 00:55:21,550 --> 00:55:24,110 Oh, ha, yeah, yeah. Primping. Yeah, primping. 937 00:55:24,286 --> 00:55:26,846 Yeah, it's primpalicious, though, isn't it? The results. 938 00:55:27,022 --> 00:55:28,512 He's a primpanzee. 939 00:55:28,690 --> 00:55:32,820 Sorry about this noise. I think it's, um... It's the bloody neighbors. 940 00:55:32,995 --> 00:55:35,429 - Neighbors? - Well, I think I'll retire now. 941 00:55:35,597 --> 00:55:36,893 Good night, Hobson. 942 00:55:37,064 --> 00:55:40,591 Ahem. Hobson. Um, thank you for everything. 943 00:55:40,768 --> 00:55:41,826 I did it for her. 944 00:55:42,003 --> 00:55:43,527 I don't want that poor girl humiliated. 945 00:55:43,704 --> 00:55:48,232 - You like her, don't you? She's lovely. - Just be a grown-up for once, Arthur. 946 00:55:48,409 --> 00:55:50,206 Okay. 947 00:55:51,345 --> 00:55:56,805 Oh, um, could you detach the half-naked businesswoman from under my bed? 948 00:55:57,083 --> 00:55:58,778 Sorry. 949 00:56:00,287 --> 00:56:01,447 Good night, Hobson. 950 00:56:01,621 --> 00:56:03,384 Goodbye, Naomi. 951 00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:08,650 Not a bad back yard. 952 00:56:08,828 --> 00:56:11,922 Yes, except whenever I sunbathe nude, I get the strangest looks. 953 00:56:12,098 --> 00:56:13,395 Oh, you're that guy. 954 00:56:13,567 --> 00:56:16,001 - Are you a bit chilly? - Oh, yes. 955 00:56:16,169 --> 00:56:19,035 - Would you like...? - Thank you. 956 00:56:19,204 --> 00:56:21,035 Ahem, here. 957 00:56:21,407 --> 00:56:24,342 - Is this your father's? "Gerald Bach." - It is. 958 00:56:24,543 --> 00:56:28,809 Well, it was. I had some of his suits re-tailored to fit me. 959 00:56:28,981 --> 00:56:31,506 It seemed silly to throw them away. 960 00:56:32,985 --> 00:56:35,317 - Mm. - Oh. 961 00:56:35,487 --> 00:56:37,283 "Why bother taking care of yourself?" 962 00:56:37,455 --> 00:56:40,015 Ha, ha. Yeah. Just have fun. 963 00:56:40,191 --> 00:56:42,318 - Well, you seem to have a lot of fun. - It's my calling. 964 00:56:43,695 --> 00:56:46,323 I found a free thing to show you. It's this way. 965 00:56:46,497 --> 00:56:48,465 - Come with me. Come on. - Okay. 966 00:56:49,634 --> 00:56:54,469 In my mind, this is the pond from a book I had when I was a kid... 967 00:56:54,639 --> 00:56:56,469 ...called Frog and Toad Together. 968 00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:59,803 I love Frog and Toad. My mom used to read them to me all the time. 969 00:56:59,977 --> 00:57:01,103 - Really? - Yeah. 970 00:57:01,278 --> 00:57:03,610 My mom subcontracted that job to Hobson. 971 00:57:03,780 --> 00:57:09,218 There's a really sad one where Toad freaks out... 972 00:57:09,386 --> 00:57:12,947 ...because he sees Frog sitting alone on a rock. 973 00:57:13,123 --> 00:57:17,456 So he swims out to him with a picnic, but then it falls in the water. 974 00:57:17,627 --> 00:57:19,117 "Our lunch is spoiled. 975 00:57:19,295 --> 00:57:21,855 I made it for you, Frog, so you'd be happy." 976 00:57:22,031 --> 00:57:24,022 But Frog wasn't sad. 977 00:57:24,867 --> 00:57:26,698 "When I woke up, I felt good... 978 00:57:26,869 --> 00:57:30,327 ...because the sun was shining. I felt good because I was a frog." 979 00:57:31,540 --> 00:57:34,703 And I felt good because I have you for a friend. 980 00:57:37,245 --> 00:57:40,146 If you were sitting alone, I'd bring you a sandwich. 981 00:57:41,683 --> 00:57:43,674 I'll sit alone, then. 982 00:58:00,901 --> 00:58:04,769 "And Frog and Toad stayed on the island all afternoon." 983 00:58:04,938 --> 00:58:08,931 They ate wet sandwiches without iced tea. 984 00:58:09,843 --> 00:58:14,007 "They were two close friends sitting alone together." 985 00:58:17,583 --> 00:58:19,642 I couldn't tell her, Hobson. 986 00:58:19,852 --> 00:58:21,547 She's my Toad. 987 00:58:21,721 --> 00:58:23,586 Oh, bollocks. 988 00:58:24,957 --> 00:58:28,620 Listen, Arthur, I'm sure Naomi is a very nice girl... 989 00:58:28,795 --> 00:58:31,093 ...but you can't live without the money. 990 00:58:31,864 --> 00:58:33,331 How do you know? 991 00:58:33,499 --> 00:58:37,161 Please. You can't go half an hour without buying another sports car. 992 00:58:38,737 --> 00:58:40,728 When I was little you used to say: 993 00:58:40,906 --> 00:58:43,636 "Arthur, you can do anything under the sun." 994 00:58:43,809 --> 00:58:45,106 I never spoke like that. 995 00:58:45,277 --> 00:58:46,403 It was a bit like that. 996 00:58:46,578 --> 00:58:48,944 That was before you paid Elton John $2 million... 997 00:58:49,114 --> 00:58:51,344 ...to sing over the PA in a grocery store. 998 00:58:51,950 --> 00:58:53,679 Yeah, well, it was Easter. 999 00:58:54,486 --> 00:58:58,080 - I think I could live without the money. - Oh, yes? How? 1000 00:58:59,323 --> 00:59:00,415 I'd get a job. 1001 00:59:00,591 --> 00:59:02,559 - Ha! - What? 1002 00:59:03,761 --> 00:59:08,095 Fine. Fine. Go ahead. Get a job. 1003 00:59:09,066 --> 00:59:10,590 I am a grown man... 1004 00:59:10,768 --> 00:59:15,068 ...and I shall join the mature world of gainful employment to prove it. 1005 00:59:18,408 --> 00:59:21,377 Don't let that undermine what I just said. 1006 00:59:33,089 --> 00:59:35,556 - Do you know how to use Excel? - No. 1007 00:59:35,724 --> 00:59:37,749 - PowerPoint? - No. 1008 00:59:38,794 --> 00:59:41,262 - Outlook. - Generally positive. You know, I mean... 1009 00:59:41,430 --> 00:59:44,160 - ...I have down days like anyone, but... - It's a program. 1010 00:59:44,333 --> 00:59:46,164 Oh, um, no. 1011 00:59:47,202 --> 00:59:48,226 Can you file? 1012 00:59:48,403 --> 00:59:49,427 - File? - Yes. 1013 00:59:49,605 --> 00:59:51,072 In a? 1014 00:59:52,174 --> 00:59:53,198 No. 1015 00:59:54,777 --> 00:59:56,676 There must be something I can do. 1016 00:59:59,781 --> 01:00:00,805 Hey! 1017 01:00:00,982 --> 01:00:03,075 And so, this is how you simply sign on... 1018 01:00:03,251 --> 01:00:04,809 ...and that unlocks the register. 1019 01:00:04,986 --> 01:00:09,787 Now, you clock in, employee number, password and the register's yours. 1020 01:00:10,525 --> 01:00:12,686 This, uh, might seem a bit much for my first day... 1021 01:00:12,860 --> 01:00:15,760 ...but could I inquire as to the possibility of a transfer... 1022 01:00:15,929 --> 01:00:17,760 ...to the costume-greeter department? 1023 01:00:17,931 --> 01:00:18,989 I think I'd thrive. 1024 01:00:19,166 --> 01:00:21,794 No. Let's just start with the register for you. 1025 01:00:22,002 --> 01:00:23,867 I've got my own costume, if that helps. 1026 01:00:24,037 --> 01:00:26,028 Nope, doesn't really make a difference. No. 1027 01:00:26,206 --> 01:00:27,503 Register. So I've cleared it. 1028 01:00:27,674 --> 01:00:30,040 Go ahead and enter your employee number and log in. 1029 01:00:31,411 --> 01:00:34,778 - Okay. You just hit a lot of random keys. - Well, that's what you did, in fairness. 1030 01:00:36,148 --> 01:00:38,548 - It says "invalid key." - Yes. Invalid key. 1031 01:00:38,717 --> 01:00:40,446 That means that I need to reset this. 1032 01:00:40,619 --> 01:00:43,645 This may take a moment. Would you mind just stepping right over...? 1033 01:00:43,823 --> 01:00:47,486 How did he get that job, exactly? What is he, the owner? The son of the owner? 1034 01:00:47,660 --> 01:00:50,857 - You can't do it, and you never will. - Never? 1035 01:00:51,030 --> 01:00:52,054 That's harsh. 1036 01:00:52,231 --> 01:00:54,563 I've entered your employee number and... Oh. 1037 01:00:54,733 --> 01:00:56,131 Want some? 1038 01:00:56,401 --> 01:00:59,370 - I think you should take the day off. - As a reward? 1039 01:00:59,938 --> 01:01:01,997 Tomorrow we'll find something more suitable for you. 1040 01:01:02,173 --> 01:01:04,664 I think what he's doing is derivative. 1041 01:01:11,983 --> 01:01:14,008 Oh, the moon really is following me. 1042 01:01:14,185 --> 01:01:17,085 Would you stop going on about the moon following you? 1043 01:01:18,488 --> 01:01:19,580 He's lunar. 1044 01:01:19,756 --> 01:01:20,780 He's clearly a pervert. 1045 01:01:33,303 --> 01:01:36,738 Arthur? There've been some reports of staff members eating on the floor. 1046 01:01:36,906 --> 01:01:38,168 Do you know anything about that? 1047 01:01:38,341 --> 01:01:39,831 Um, no. 1048 01:01:40,009 --> 01:01:42,239 No, I don't know anything about that, Peter. 1049 01:01:42,411 --> 01:01:45,107 You know, I think it's not appropriate for you to be on the floor. 1050 01:01:45,281 --> 01:01:47,841 We should find something for you in the stock room. 1051 01:01:51,587 --> 01:01:52,611 Excuse me. 1052 01:01:53,890 --> 01:01:57,222 If I gave you $10,000... 1053 01:01:57,392 --> 01:02:00,623 ...would you let me wear this costume for one hour? 1054 01:02:02,297 --> 01:02:06,893 Hello. Welcome to the store. May all your dreams come true. 1055 01:02:07,068 --> 01:02:08,933 Free candy! Here you go, kids! 1056 01:02:10,405 --> 01:02:12,270 I'm a lovely bear. Grr. 1057 01:02:13,642 --> 01:02:16,132 Sorry. Sorry. I'm not a genuine bear. 1058 01:02:16,310 --> 01:02:18,778 Here, listen, you take this with you. 1059 01:02:18,946 --> 01:02:23,076 If you leave very quickly, security won't have an opportunity to ascertain you. 1060 01:02:23,250 --> 01:02:25,150 - Go. Try not to look suspicious. - Arthur? 1061 01:02:25,319 --> 01:02:26,581 - Hello. - What are you doing? 1062 01:02:26,754 --> 01:02:28,551 Peter, I can explain everything. 1063 01:02:30,391 --> 01:02:32,484 I've got one. I'm okay. 1064 01:02:35,595 --> 01:02:36,619 Arthur. 1065 01:02:38,131 --> 01:02:41,464 - May I have a word with you? - Is that word "promotion"? 1066 01:02:42,869 --> 01:02:46,202 One apocalyptic hangover, no job. 1067 01:02:46,673 --> 01:02:48,573 Congratulations, Arthur. 1068 01:02:51,077 --> 01:02:53,978 The employment market is a vortex. 1069 01:02:54,147 --> 01:02:59,448 "Aquarium needs help cleaning tanks. Swim with the fishes." 1070 01:02:59,651 --> 01:03:00,948 That is a Mob threat. 1071 01:03:01,153 --> 01:03:03,485 None of these jobs make any sense at all. 1072 01:03:03,655 --> 01:03:06,453 "Systems integration professional." 1073 01:03:06,658 --> 01:03:08,285 Would anyone do it as an amateur? 1074 01:03:08,460 --> 01:03:10,451 Would anyone approach systems integration... 1075 01:03:10,629 --> 01:03:13,894 ...as a hobby for fun on a Saturday afternoon instead of flying a kite? 1076 01:03:14,066 --> 01:03:17,523 Who is integrating systems for their own amusement? 1077 01:03:18,869 --> 01:03:19,927 Hobson. 1078 01:03:21,105 --> 01:03:24,541 I think in order to do this... 1079 01:03:24,709 --> 01:03:27,439 ...I may have to be a little more sober. 1080 01:03:32,416 --> 01:03:33,883 What do you think? 1081 01:03:34,051 --> 01:03:36,985 To, you know, preserve my anonymity. 1082 01:03:37,954 --> 01:03:40,286 You're right, it would be a shame to jeopardize... 1083 01:03:40,457 --> 01:03:43,051 ...such a distinguished public profile. 1084 01:03:51,134 --> 01:03:54,000 I stole from my friends, my family. 1085 01:03:54,570 --> 01:03:57,334 I sold my son's tricycle so I could score some junk. 1086 01:03:58,007 --> 01:03:59,907 - Jesus. - I was so drunk once... 1087 01:04:00,075 --> 01:04:02,942 ...I backed my car over my mother outside Walgreens. 1088 01:04:03,112 --> 01:04:04,170 Thirty-seven days sober. 1089 01:04:05,547 --> 01:04:08,243 But sometimes, it's just so hard. 1090 01:04:08,417 --> 01:04:09,975 Like I'm in this grave... 1091 01:04:10,152 --> 01:04:14,019 Whoa, this is depressing. It's like unhappy hour. 1092 01:04:14,188 --> 01:04:15,883 - Shh. - It is. I don't like it in here. 1093 01:04:16,057 --> 01:04:17,581 This is making me want to drink more. 1094 01:04:17,759 --> 01:04:21,251 Sir, you need to wait till the end of the meeting. Go on, James. 1095 01:04:21,662 --> 01:04:22,993 It's okay. I'm done. 1096 01:04:24,365 --> 01:04:25,559 And you are? 1097 01:04:27,101 --> 01:04:29,831 My name is... 1098 01:04:30,038 --> 01:04:31,767 ...Gandalf. 1099 01:04:31,939 --> 01:04:33,736 Hi, Gandalf. 1100 01:04:34,174 --> 01:04:35,937 Hello. 1101 01:04:36,343 --> 01:04:41,679 And I came here because I'd like to drink a bit less. Not give it up altogether. 1102 01:04:41,848 --> 01:04:44,476 Maybe 5, 10 percent cut down. Reasonable. 1103 01:04:44,651 --> 01:04:49,782 Look, I'm sorry. No one's gonna convince me that my life isn't fun, okay? 1104 01:04:49,956 --> 01:04:52,424 And forgive my crassness... 1105 01:04:52,592 --> 01:04:56,687 ...but if I ran my mother over, I'd be out celebrating with booze. 1106 01:04:57,129 --> 01:05:00,997 Which is what I plan to do right now. 1107 01:05:01,167 --> 01:05:02,600 Cheerio. 1108 01:05:02,768 --> 01:05:05,134 Excuse me. Hobson. 1109 01:05:07,073 --> 01:05:09,541 My name is Lillian and I'm an alcoholic. 1110 01:05:09,708 --> 01:05:11,005 Hi, Lillian. 1111 01:05:11,177 --> 01:05:12,644 Good afternoon. 1112 01:05:12,812 --> 01:05:15,245 I'm rich. I'm fabulously rich. 1113 01:05:15,980 --> 01:05:18,642 I'm also generous and kindhearted. 1114 01:05:19,684 --> 01:05:24,053 My father died when I was young and my mother was absent most of the time. 1115 01:05:24,222 --> 01:05:28,022 Is this an excuse for making a mockery of my life? 1116 01:05:28,326 --> 01:05:31,056 Oh, sure, it all looks very wild from the outside. 1117 01:05:31,229 --> 01:05:35,255 Do you know, I once went to bed with three European princesses at the same time. 1118 01:05:35,432 --> 01:05:37,263 But, A, I can't remember anything about it... 1119 01:05:37,434 --> 01:05:39,368 ...and, B, apparently, I vomited on two of them... 1120 01:05:39,536 --> 01:05:41,902 ...before losing control of my bladder on the third. 1121 01:05:42,072 --> 01:05:44,597 Oh, yes, all such fun. 1122 01:05:44,775 --> 01:05:48,040 Until the fog parts, and suddenly there's a hole so big... 1123 01:05:48,212 --> 01:05:53,513 ...that all the vintage champagne and the Batmobiles in the world won't fill it. 1124 01:05:53,683 --> 01:05:57,847 And then? Well, then, I'm all alone on my magnetic bed... 1125 01:05:58,020 --> 01:06:01,854 ...wondering what venereal disease I've just caught. 1126 01:06:09,232 --> 01:06:11,359 Always the quiet ones. 1127 01:06:16,104 --> 01:06:18,402 This is itchy. 1128 01:06:28,483 --> 01:06:32,385 That was really lovely what you said in there about me. 1129 01:06:33,787 --> 01:06:38,781 Now, if you could just do the drinking for me, I think we'd have this thing cracked. 1130 01:06:55,308 --> 01:06:57,936 - Vivienne. - Yes? 1131 01:06:59,078 --> 01:07:01,239 Don't make me do this, please. 1132 01:07:02,782 --> 01:07:04,682 I'm not the one with a choice. 1133 01:07:04,884 --> 01:07:06,909 You can walk away any time you like. 1134 01:07:07,086 --> 01:07:09,680 There's a simple solution to all of this, Arthur. 1135 01:07:09,889 --> 01:07:12,551 Marry Susan and cheat with the nobody from Queens. 1136 01:07:42,119 --> 01:07:44,917 Hello, Naomi's dad. Is your daughter here? 1137 01:07:45,089 --> 01:07:47,717 Her name is Naomi. Just clear up any confusion. 1138 01:07:47,892 --> 01:07:51,123 It's a little late, but I wasn't sleeping myself. Come in, come in. 1139 01:07:51,295 --> 01:07:52,387 Arthur? 1140 01:07:52,963 --> 01:07:55,227 Oh, hello, Naomi. 1141 01:07:59,135 --> 01:08:01,035 You may wanna sit down. 1142 01:08:04,140 --> 01:08:05,198 Or lay down. 1143 01:08:05,375 --> 01:08:07,969 Although I prefer you stayed awake, because this is important. 1144 01:08:08,345 --> 01:08:09,437 What is it? 1145 01:08:09,946 --> 01:08:12,244 I'm engaged to another Susan. 1146 01:08:12,449 --> 01:08:14,882 Woman. Another Susan woman. 1147 01:08:16,518 --> 01:08:17,951 You're engaged? 1148 01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:21,749 I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I meant to before. 1149 01:08:21,957 --> 01:08:24,824 You meant to tell me that you were engaged to another woman. 1150 01:08:24,994 --> 01:08:29,431 - I was gonna get Hobson to do it... - Oh, my God. Arthur. 1151 01:08:29,598 --> 01:08:31,122 - Who do you think you are? - Naomi. 1152 01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:34,197 I'm not saying I think I'm Naomi. You are. 1153 01:08:34,369 --> 01:08:36,269 Why else would you be wearing her pajamas. 1154 01:08:36,671 --> 01:08:40,107 I didn't mean for this to happen, but then I started falling for you. 1155 01:08:40,275 --> 01:08:42,573 And I thought, "Oh, no. I'm falling for Naomi... 1156 01:08:42,744 --> 01:08:45,577 ...and I have to marry Susan woman or I'll lose the money." 1157 01:08:46,180 --> 01:08:49,115 Let me get this straight. You don't wanna marry this woman. 1158 01:08:49,284 --> 01:08:52,048 - Susan woman. - But you're going to... 1159 01:08:52,220 --> 01:08:54,449 ...because you're scared of losing the money? 1160 01:08:54,621 --> 01:08:58,751 - Yeah, see, I'm trapped by the money. - Oh, you're trapped by the money. 1161 01:08:58,925 --> 01:09:02,053 Oh, okay. Well, we should probably start a telethon. 1162 01:09:02,229 --> 01:09:05,494 And then people could call in and relieve you from this horrible money. 1163 01:09:05,666 --> 01:09:07,531 If you think it would help. 1164 01:09:07,701 --> 01:09:10,465 Naomi, Naomi, Naomi, please. 1165 01:09:10,904 --> 01:09:13,997 You're the most special person... 1166 01:09:14,173 --> 01:09:16,334 ...that I have ever... What, lied to? 1167 01:09:16,742 --> 01:09:18,300 I was gonna say "met." 1168 01:09:19,078 --> 01:09:21,706 Am I the most special person you ever made this for? 1169 01:09:22,515 --> 01:09:25,643 Who makes a PEZ dispenser of somebody's head... 1170 01:09:25,818 --> 01:09:27,683 ...when they're engaged to someone else? 1171 01:09:27,853 --> 01:09:30,048 Admittedly, we're a small demographic. 1172 01:09:30,222 --> 01:09:31,450 Stop joking. 1173 01:09:31,624 --> 01:09:34,683 Okay. Let me run this up the flag pole. 1174 01:09:34,859 --> 01:09:38,226 What if I were to install a secret door? 1175 01:09:38,663 --> 01:09:41,655 It leads to an apartment. And you live in that. 1176 01:09:41,833 --> 01:09:44,461 On the other side of that door, I'm married to Susan. 1177 01:09:44,636 --> 01:09:48,572 That's not ideal. But on the bright side, I assure you it's entirely sexless. 1178 01:09:48,740 --> 01:09:51,538 What...? Naomi, don't leave, Naomi. 1179 01:09:51,710 --> 01:09:55,941 This is my apartment, Arthur. You have to leave. 1180 01:10:01,418 --> 01:10:03,409 This is for you. 1181 01:10:03,687 --> 01:10:07,054 For your dad. For your writing career. 1182 01:10:11,095 --> 01:10:13,187 Nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand dollars. 1183 01:10:13,363 --> 01:10:16,855 - I thought a million would be vulgar. - We don't want your money. 1184 01:10:18,768 --> 01:10:20,599 Could you leave? 1185 01:10:21,838 --> 01:10:23,863 Can I just stay here for a minute, please? 1186 01:10:24,040 --> 01:10:25,564 Why? 1187 01:10:26,209 --> 01:10:31,976 Because it will reduce the proportion of my life that I spend feeling utterly miserable. 1188 01:10:32,714 --> 01:10:34,807 Goodbye, Arthur. 1189 01:10:44,726 --> 01:10:46,489 Closet. 1190 01:10:55,903 --> 01:10:58,030 And back, two, three. Front, two, three. 1191 01:10:58,205 --> 01:10:59,638 Back. And here we turn. 1192 01:11:00,241 --> 01:11:02,801 This is gonna be our first dance as husband and wife. 1193 01:11:02,977 --> 01:11:05,343 At least you could just try to smile. 1194 01:11:05,513 --> 01:11:07,071 Sorry. 1195 01:11:07,248 --> 01:11:10,411 And I apologize for leaving you attached to that magnetic bed. 1196 01:11:10,584 --> 01:11:12,073 Oh. 1197 01:11:12,252 --> 01:11:15,153 Someone's coming to his senses. Finally. 1198 01:11:15,321 --> 01:11:17,346 Good. Now, under the arm. 1199 01:12:49,812 --> 01:12:51,369 Hobson. 1200 01:12:51,546 --> 01:12:53,275 Hobson! 1201 01:12:53,781 --> 01:12:56,841 Hobson. I've just spotted Orphan Annie as a man. 1202 01:12:57,485 --> 01:12:58,611 Orphan Mannie! 1203 01:12:58,786 --> 01:13:01,482 Bitterman. What are you doing in my bathroom? We discussed this. 1204 01:13:01,656 --> 01:13:04,750 Hobson left me in charge. She went back to bed. She had a headache. 1205 01:13:05,226 --> 01:13:06,989 - Hobson's got a headache? - Yes, sir. 1206 01:13:07,161 --> 01:13:09,391 How did she say it? What did she say? 1207 01:13:09,564 --> 01:13:12,430 "Bitterman, I'm going to bed. I have a headache." 1208 01:13:12,733 --> 01:13:15,702 She sort of said it like that, all broken up and staccato? 1209 01:13:16,136 --> 01:13:17,535 Pretty much, sir. 1210 01:13:17,704 --> 01:13:19,433 Solely on their mother... 1211 01:13:19,606 --> 01:13:22,700 ...for food, shelter and safety. This mother bear has no... 1212 01:13:24,378 --> 01:13:27,609 - What's the matter? Why are you in bed? - Arthur, put my bears back on. 1213 01:13:27,781 --> 01:13:30,272 There'll be no bears until you tell me what's the matter. 1214 01:13:33,052 --> 01:13:36,419 I'm traveling down this white tunnel. 1215 01:13:36,589 --> 01:13:38,056 There's a garden at the end. 1216 01:13:38,658 --> 01:13:42,526 Who's that red gentleman with a pitchfork? Why is it so hot in here? 1217 01:13:42,695 --> 01:13:44,390 Stop being childish. 1218 01:13:44,797 --> 01:13:46,628 Sorry. 1219 01:13:47,166 --> 01:13:50,101 Okay, Arthur, I've got something to tell you. Will you sit down? 1220 01:13:56,308 --> 01:13:58,037 Listen... 1221 01:13:59,344 --> 01:14:01,710 ...there are three books. 1222 01:14:02,347 --> 01:14:05,282 Take them back to the library. 1223 01:14:06,084 --> 01:14:09,383 Oh, Hobson, please don't die anymore. It's getting very boring. 1224 01:14:10,221 --> 01:14:13,656 What about you? You look a bit lost today. 1225 01:14:15,159 --> 01:14:16,490 Naomi won't talk to me. 1226 01:14:18,896 --> 01:14:23,265 Oh, I am sorry. It's a shame she wouldn't come to an agreement. 1227 01:14:23,434 --> 01:14:26,494 Little tart like that would've saved you a fortune in prostitutes. 1228 01:14:27,071 --> 01:14:31,302 How dare you talk about Naomi like that. She's one of the finest people I know. 1229 01:14:31,474 --> 01:14:33,066 I employ you to support me. 1230 01:14:33,242 --> 01:14:36,803 I don't pay you to make snide comments about my friends. Remember that. 1231 01:14:37,213 --> 01:14:39,340 You're just Mary Poppins with menopause. 1232 01:14:45,755 --> 01:14:49,384 Delightful to see you, Hobson. To what do I owe the pleasure? 1233 01:14:49,559 --> 01:14:52,857 Well, it's this marriage, Vivienne. 1234 01:14:53,028 --> 01:14:56,862 I'm very excited for Arthur. I'm worried for him too. 1235 01:14:58,133 --> 01:14:59,191 Are you, now? 1236 01:14:59,735 --> 01:15:03,569 Look, he has attempted gainful employment and he even went to AA. 1237 01:15:03,739 --> 01:15:07,300 - It didn't last very long, but I have hopes... - AA? 1238 01:15:08,143 --> 01:15:11,339 There's this girl. I think she's inspiring him to... 1239 01:15:11,512 --> 01:15:16,176 - He's getting married. - Yes, but is it right for him, Vivienne? 1240 01:15:16,817 --> 01:15:19,513 Arthur does have other issues. 1241 01:15:20,254 --> 01:15:21,949 And whose fault is that? 1242 01:15:26,127 --> 01:15:31,291 Well, I'm so sorry to have wasted your valuable time. 1243 01:15:32,832 --> 01:15:34,732 He needs this, Lillian, he's weak. 1244 01:15:36,036 --> 01:15:38,596 He's stronger than you think. 1245 01:15:48,248 --> 01:15:50,011 Who was that? 1246 01:15:50,549 --> 01:15:51,880 Um... 1247 01:15:53,285 --> 01:15:55,378 Hobson is in my house. 1248 01:15:55,554 --> 01:15:57,317 Surprisingly, I am. 1249 01:15:57,489 --> 01:16:01,357 Well, don't be intimidated by the space. We don't use all the rooms. 1250 01:16:05,998 --> 01:16:08,466 You got that, McKenzie? Thank you. 1251 01:16:08,634 --> 01:16:10,931 Why am I stuck here in this room? 1252 01:16:11,102 --> 01:16:13,798 I'm not the bride I'm the bloody groom 1253 01:16:16,841 --> 01:16:18,103 Isn't he charming? 1254 01:16:19,477 --> 01:16:20,739 It's the sweetest thing. 1255 01:16:20,912 --> 01:16:23,540 Oh. Oh, McKenzie, this is stunning. 1256 01:16:23,715 --> 01:16:26,548 Ooh. 1257 01:16:26,718 --> 01:16:28,845 - No metal. - Very nice. 1258 01:16:29,020 --> 01:16:31,317 Just don't leave me for a minute 1259 01:16:31,488 --> 01:16:33,956 Or you'll come home and find me in it 1260 01:16:35,325 --> 01:16:37,156 I just made that up. That just came to me. 1261 01:16:37,327 --> 01:16:38,658 Here. 1262 01:16:39,296 --> 01:16:43,460 Oh. Love these. The grape shears. Look, Arthur. 1263 01:16:43,633 --> 01:16:46,295 Grape shears, what an innovation 1264 01:16:46,470 --> 01:16:49,598 You can use them for my castration 1265 01:16:51,073 --> 01:16:55,237 Because she does that. I've been... I've been horribly emasculated. 1266 01:16:59,181 --> 01:17:00,910 Arthur misses you desperately. 1267 01:17:01,350 --> 01:17:04,615 Has he asked you to go on a tour of all of the girls that he misses? 1268 01:17:04,787 --> 01:17:07,984 No, he's far too decent to be involved in anything as tawdry as this. 1269 01:17:08,157 --> 01:17:09,317 As what? 1270 01:17:09,492 --> 01:17:11,789 As my plea not to give up on him. 1271 01:17:16,197 --> 01:17:17,926 You really look after him, don't you? 1272 01:17:18,133 --> 01:17:22,001 Yes, I do. And it's a job that I recommend highly. 1273 01:17:22,403 --> 01:17:24,428 A, um, taste of England. 1274 01:17:24,606 --> 01:17:27,575 Oh. Oh, lovely. 1275 01:17:28,076 --> 01:17:30,839 As, I believe, you look after this gentleman. 1276 01:17:31,245 --> 01:17:35,443 Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but Arthur is getting married. 1277 01:17:36,950 --> 01:17:43,014 Naomi, if there's one thing an old woman can recognize it's a young man in love. 1278 01:17:48,262 --> 01:17:49,524 How's that tea? 1279 01:17:50,296 --> 01:17:51,456 Like sewage. 1280 01:17:58,304 --> 01:18:00,772 - I'm so sorry. - Uh, are you okay? 1281 01:18:00,940 --> 01:18:05,468 Thank you. Thanks, ladies, for such a lovely afternoon. These are gorgeous. 1282 01:18:05,778 --> 01:18:07,871 - Arthur, hasn't it been...? - Cheers. Thank you. 1283 01:18:08,047 --> 01:18:10,014 Thank you, ladies. Thank you. 1284 01:18:10,182 --> 01:18:12,742 I'll be here all week. And for the rest of my bloody life. 1285 01:18:18,990 --> 01:18:20,787 Hey. Hello. 1286 01:18:21,927 --> 01:18:22,951 What? 1287 01:18:24,262 --> 01:18:25,854 It's just a headache. 1288 01:18:26,031 --> 01:18:30,126 Hold on. You've been having tests for months. The doctor told me on the phone. 1289 01:18:30,301 --> 01:18:32,326 Oh, bother snaps. 1290 01:18:32,503 --> 01:18:34,232 Well, what do doctors know anyway? 1291 01:18:34,405 --> 01:18:38,205 I think they're usually really well qualified, Hobson. Why didn't you mention this? 1292 01:18:38,576 --> 01:18:42,637 I'm sorry. It's just I didn't want to worry you. 1293 01:18:43,113 --> 01:18:44,546 Well, now I am worried. 1294 01:18:47,685 --> 01:18:51,381 But forget the worry and enjoy this extravagant gesture! 1295 01:18:51,554 --> 01:18:54,580 Look at those bears. I love them. 1296 01:18:54,757 --> 01:18:56,884 - The biggest ones in the shop. - Can I have one? 1297 01:18:57,060 --> 01:18:59,688 That's part of a display. They didn't wanna sell that one. 1298 01:19:01,764 --> 01:19:03,061 Put this on, please. 1299 01:19:03,233 --> 01:19:04,495 I'm not putting that on. 1300 01:19:05,101 --> 01:19:07,501 Put it on or the bears will be incinerated. 1301 01:19:16,511 --> 01:19:17,773 Humiliating. 1302 01:19:17,946 --> 01:19:19,937 - You look really dignified. - Mm. 1303 01:19:24,219 --> 01:19:26,619 How much did you waste on this? 1304 01:19:26,788 --> 01:19:29,018 They're very reasonable, actually. 1305 01:19:29,190 --> 01:19:32,751 - Uh, so say, "Wash your winkie." - Wash your winkie. 1306 01:19:34,629 --> 01:19:37,223 Say, "If you have to pay them, it's not love." 1307 01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:39,559 If you have to pay, it's not love. 1308 01:19:39,734 --> 01:19:41,725 Ha! You do one, you do one. 1309 01:19:41,903 --> 01:19:44,201 Could you do Sammy Davis, Jr? 1310 01:19:44,405 --> 01:19:46,600 Sammy Davis, Jr. Is not to do with that costume. 1311 01:19:46,774 --> 01:19:48,833 - I like Sammy. - What's the point in that? 1312 01:19:49,009 --> 01:19:51,500 I see you've decided not to grow up. 1313 01:19:51,678 --> 01:19:54,476 Yeah, I already decided not to bother. 1314 01:19:57,350 --> 01:19:59,477 - Where's Naomi? - Outside. Do you wanna see her? 1315 01:20:00,887 --> 01:20:02,980 You see her for me, will you? 1316 01:20:08,928 --> 01:20:10,156 How is she? 1317 01:20:10,729 --> 01:20:13,857 All she'll tell me is she's got a headache. No one else will tell me anything... 1318 01:20:14,033 --> 01:20:17,059 ...because we're not family. That's hospitals. 1319 01:20:18,103 --> 01:20:19,400 Why was she at your house? 1320 01:20:19,705 --> 01:20:24,108 Hobson and I hang out all the time. We go shoplifting every Wednesday. Bergdorf's. 1321 01:20:24,310 --> 01:20:27,143 That's a good time to do it. Hardly any security. 1322 01:20:27,579 --> 01:20:29,512 She was worried about you. 1323 01:20:34,218 --> 01:20:36,584 Hey, how's the writing going? 1324 01:20:37,588 --> 01:20:40,079 It's really good, actually. 1325 01:20:40,458 --> 01:20:42,255 I sold my book. 1326 01:20:42,427 --> 01:20:45,555 Congratulations, that's such fantastic news. You deserve that. 1327 01:20:45,730 --> 01:20:48,198 When you found out, did you do a scream? 1328 01:20:48,366 --> 01:20:50,026 I did. I went: 1329 01:20:54,037 --> 01:20:56,164 - Only louder. - Right. 1330 01:20:56,340 --> 01:21:01,607 Yeah. I mean, a scream is defined by its vocal quality to some degree. 1331 01:21:02,713 --> 01:21:05,147 I've been really angry at you. 1332 01:21:06,049 --> 01:21:11,111 And I've been rehearsing in my head what I was gonna say to you if I saw you again. 1333 01:21:11,287 --> 01:21:13,687 And it was gonna start with, "Hi, Arthur." 1334 01:21:13,856 --> 01:21:15,483 That's conventional. 1335 01:21:15,658 --> 01:21:19,560 And then I was gonna get into a lot of really mean stuff. 1336 01:21:20,463 --> 01:21:25,457 And it was gonna be directed at you in a very pointed way because you lied to me. 1337 01:21:25,634 --> 01:21:29,160 But then I would run out of steam eventually and I'd say, begrudgingly: 1338 01:21:29,938 --> 01:21:33,567 "Thank you for encouraging me with my writing." 1339 01:21:34,743 --> 01:21:39,237 And then I would get very serious and I'd look at you in the eyes and I would say: 1340 01:21:39,781 --> 01:21:41,476 "Arthur... 1341 01:21:41,916 --> 01:21:43,178 ...you have a problem." 1342 01:21:45,086 --> 01:21:49,021 I'm glad that was hypothetical because that would be really hard to hear. 1343 01:21:50,491 --> 01:21:51,515 How is Hobson? 1344 01:21:51,692 --> 01:21:54,183 Ah. Well... 1345 01:21:55,129 --> 01:21:57,723 Naomi, this is Susan... 1346 01:21:58,499 --> 01:22:00,626 ...my fiancée. 1347 01:22:00,801 --> 01:22:03,361 And, uh, Susan, this is Naomi. 1348 01:22:03,537 --> 01:22:05,164 It's nice to finally meet you. 1349 01:22:05,339 --> 01:22:08,364 That is like a medium-size ice rink. 1350 01:22:08,541 --> 01:22:11,510 And ice rink. That's what I said, but I said for mice. Because it's small. 1351 01:22:11,677 --> 01:22:14,339 - You're a tour guide, right? - Yep. 1352 01:22:14,514 --> 01:22:17,415 Well, actually, Susan, Naomi's a writer. She's being published. 1353 01:22:17,583 --> 01:22:20,211 Oh, well, congratulations. Who's gonna publish your book? 1354 01:22:20,386 --> 01:22:22,946 - Doesn't matter, does it? - Uh, Painted Wagon Press. 1355 01:22:23,122 --> 01:22:25,113 - They're all the same. - Ha, ha, Painted Wagon Press. 1356 01:22:25,291 --> 01:22:27,885 That name sounds familiar. Sorry, I can't think of... 1357 01:22:28,061 --> 01:22:30,119 Why might that name sound so familiar to me? 1358 01:22:30,629 --> 01:22:33,120 Can you help me with that? Why I might know that name? 1359 01:22:33,665 --> 01:22:36,429 No, Susan, I can't. 1360 01:22:37,102 --> 01:22:38,126 Oh. 1361 01:22:38,303 --> 01:22:41,033 It's coming to me. Bach Worldwide just acquired them. 1362 01:22:41,973 --> 01:22:45,238 You should've come to me about that. I could've made you a better deal. 1363 01:22:46,645 --> 01:22:48,612 But why would you buy them? 1364 01:22:50,214 --> 01:22:52,910 So you could tell them to publish my book. 1365 01:22:59,256 --> 01:23:00,814 Thank you. 1366 01:23:03,260 --> 01:23:05,558 What'd you do that for? 1367 01:23:06,097 --> 01:23:08,394 I just did her a favor. 1368 01:23:09,532 --> 01:23:11,159 Naomi, wait. 1369 01:23:13,636 --> 01:23:15,263 Wait. 1370 01:23:16,973 --> 01:23:20,465 I didn't think I was ever gonna see you again, and I think you're talented... 1371 01:23:20,643 --> 01:23:22,975 I thought other people thought that I was talented. 1372 01:23:23,146 --> 01:23:26,582 I thought that I had earned it. I thought that I had earned it. 1373 01:23:26,749 --> 01:23:29,740 And that felt really good. I like that. I like earning something. 1374 01:23:29,918 --> 01:23:35,652 And I know that you don't know what that feels like, but it's great. 1375 01:23:37,126 --> 01:23:39,822 You should try it sometime. 1376 01:23:44,199 --> 01:23:45,928 Ow, ow, ow. 1377 01:23:46,101 --> 01:23:48,967 I cut my hand. There's blood in those. 1378 01:23:50,138 --> 01:23:53,130 Actually, um, don't eat them because of the blood. 1379 01:24:02,517 --> 01:24:04,417 Hobson, how does this bag of tea work? 1380 01:24:04,585 --> 01:24:08,111 Do you tear the top off or you use this to cut in? How? 1381 01:24:08,288 --> 01:24:10,381 No, you put the whole bag in the pot. 1382 01:24:10,557 --> 01:24:13,253 - Just put the whole bag in? - Mm. With water. Hot water. 1383 01:24:13,426 --> 01:24:15,155 - Brilliant. - But not out of the tap. 1384 01:24:15,328 --> 01:24:16,386 - From a...? - Kettle. 1385 01:24:16,563 --> 01:24:17,894 Brilliant. Perfect. 1386 01:24:23,770 --> 01:24:25,761 Be careful of that plate. It's gonna be very, very... 1387 01:24:27,140 --> 01:24:28,731 Oh, God, no! 1388 01:24:28,908 --> 01:24:30,705 Hot. 1389 01:24:30,910 --> 01:24:33,401 I think I was better off in the hospital. 1390 01:24:35,414 --> 01:24:37,143 Bon appétit. 1391 01:24:40,553 --> 01:24:43,852 Actually, my medication makes me sufficiently nauseous. 1392 01:24:44,023 --> 01:24:46,218 You're forever pestering me about change... 1393 01:24:46,392 --> 01:24:49,849 ...and you're afraid to eat a little bowl of spaghetti circles. Come along. 1394 01:24:53,298 --> 01:24:55,198 Please let me look after you. 1395 01:25:08,378 --> 01:25:09,504 Quite nice. 1396 01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:11,113 - Really? - Mm-hm. 1397 01:25:11,615 --> 01:25:14,448 - It's not unpleasant, is it? - Well, it is unpleasant... 1398 01:25:14,618 --> 01:25:15,949 Ha. ...but it's quite nice. 1399 01:25:16,386 --> 01:25:18,479 I'm a genius in there. 1400 01:25:29,432 --> 01:25:31,900 Mother bear will care for her cubs... 1401 01:25:32,068 --> 01:25:34,730 ...for up to two years. 1402 01:25:55,957 --> 01:25:57,584 Lovely. 1403 01:25:58,927 --> 01:26:01,259 Come on, come on, come on. 1404 01:26:01,429 --> 01:26:03,363 - No. Not like this. - Aah! Ha-ha-ha. 1405 01:26:03,531 --> 01:26:05,260 You've got so much to give. 1406 01:26:23,183 --> 01:26:24,741 Have you called her, Arthur? 1407 01:26:25,185 --> 01:26:27,049 No. 1408 01:26:31,224 --> 01:26:33,749 Have you ever been in love, Hobson? 1409 01:26:35,361 --> 01:26:37,386 Yes, I was once. 1410 01:26:37,563 --> 01:26:40,794 Yes, in London. He was from Spain. 1411 01:26:41,167 --> 01:26:43,032 He asked me to go there with him. 1412 01:26:43,202 --> 01:26:44,794 You were nearly 3. 1413 01:26:45,271 --> 01:26:46,636 What happened? 1414 01:26:48,540 --> 01:26:51,304 Two days before I was due to leave... 1415 01:26:51,476 --> 01:26:53,774 I had my bags all packed. 1416 01:26:53,945 --> 01:26:55,139 Your father died. 1417 01:27:07,725 --> 01:27:09,317 You should've gone. I would've understood. 1418 01:27:10,928 --> 01:27:13,055 It was too late. 1419 01:27:13,431 --> 01:27:15,626 I loved you. 1420 01:27:16,834 --> 01:27:18,825 Why have you never told me? 1421 01:27:19,070 --> 01:27:21,504 I didn't want you to feel bad. 1422 01:27:21,672 --> 01:27:25,267 - Why are you telling me now? - I want you to feel bad. 1423 01:27:33,283 --> 01:27:36,343 So this is what it's like to go to bed at 9:00. 1424 01:27:36,519 --> 01:27:38,282 Yes. 1425 01:27:38,488 --> 01:27:40,718 Isn't it wicked? 1426 01:27:49,932 --> 01:27:52,127 Hmm, Hobson. 1427 01:27:52,701 --> 01:27:54,566 I had a bad dream. 1428 01:27:54,737 --> 01:27:56,534 Hobson? 1429 01:27:58,040 --> 01:28:00,600 Hobson, stop mucking about. 1430 01:28:00,843 --> 01:28:04,210 You can't see a tunnel of light and red pitchfork. 1431 01:28:04,380 --> 01:28:08,008 I'm not gonna take those three books back to the library. 1432 01:28:10,885 --> 01:28:12,750 Hobson? 1433 01:28:18,292 --> 01:28:20,089 Nurse! 1434 01:28:20,261 --> 01:28:22,092 Nurse! 1435 01:29:25,323 --> 01:29:27,119 Bitterman? 1436 01:29:32,262 --> 01:29:34,355 We're gonna have a party. 1437 01:29:34,531 --> 01:29:36,795 I'm tired of being sad now. 1438 01:30:30,818 --> 01:30:32,945 Bitterman, what are you doing? 1439 01:30:33,120 --> 01:30:35,884 I'm trying to cheer you up, Mr. Bach. 1440 01:30:36,056 --> 01:30:37,148 Is it working? 1441 01:30:38,425 --> 01:30:39,483 Not yet. 1442 01:30:43,664 --> 01:30:44,756 How about now? 1443 01:30:45,499 --> 01:30:48,194 You have to do something funny. You can't just stand there. 1444 01:30:48,368 --> 01:30:52,270 - Just say something incongruous or pithy. - Okay. 1445 01:30:52,906 --> 01:30:55,101 Today's your wedding day, Mr. Bach. 1446 01:30:55,275 --> 01:30:57,835 Well, that's it. I'm gonna drown myself. 1447 01:30:58,311 --> 01:30:59,869 Mr. Bach? 1448 01:31:00,046 --> 01:31:01,946 Mr. Bach? Where'd you go? 1449 01:31:03,616 --> 01:31:06,584 Lovely to see you. Hello. 1450 01:31:07,719 --> 01:31:09,118 Chancellor. 1451 01:31:09,288 --> 01:31:11,984 - I am so delighted you're here. - Oh, thank you. 1452 01:31:12,157 --> 01:31:15,320 I think you'll be very, very pleasantly surprised. Enjoy yourself. 1453 01:31:15,494 --> 01:31:16,586 The groom is here. 1454 01:31:16,762 --> 01:31:20,789 Ah. I gather the groom has arrived. 1455 01:31:20,966 --> 01:31:22,763 Bitterman. Bitterman. 1456 01:31:23,402 --> 01:31:25,869 Please. I'm getting married today. 1457 01:31:26,037 --> 01:31:28,198 But you were in there too long. 1458 01:31:28,706 --> 01:31:31,675 - Oh, God. She's here. - You're late. Was I not clear? 1459 01:31:31,842 --> 01:31:34,402 Don't... Don't... Don't blame Bitterman. 1460 01:31:34,579 --> 01:31:37,377 He had a hell of a struggle getting me out of the bath. 1461 01:31:37,615 --> 01:31:38,707 Coffee. Now. 1462 01:31:38,883 --> 01:31:40,680 Good idea. I'll have one too. 1463 01:31:40,851 --> 01:31:41,943 I'm a bit drunk. 1464 01:31:42,119 --> 01:31:43,586 Okay. 1465 01:31:43,754 --> 01:31:46,051 The good news is you're here and you're not wearing a cape. 1466 01:31:46,222 --> 01:31:48,213 Proud day for you, Viv? 1467 01:31:49,859 --> 01:31:52,487 I have guests to attend to. Stay. 1468 01:32:29,597 --> 01:32:31,064 Psst. 1469 01:32:31,432 --> 01:32:33,400 Small person. 1470 01:32:34,068 --> 01:32:35,433 Can you read? 1471 01:32:36,304 --> 01:32:38,363 For, like, four years. Can you? 1472 01:32:38,673 --> 01:32:40,607 Not at the moment, no. 1473 01:32:40,775 --> 01:32:41,799 Help. Come here. 1474 01:32:51,318 --> 01:32:53,218 I need you to read this for me. 1475 01:32:53,787 --> 01:32:55,379 Okay. 1476 01:32:59,926 --> 01:33:05,329 "My dearest Arthur. Listen up, you pampered prick." 1477 01:33:05,498 --> 01:33:07,261 Carry on. 1478 01:33:07,433 --> 01:33:09,526 "You now know where the tea bags are." 1479 01:33:09,702 --> 01:33:12,296 To operate kettle, press red button. 1480 01:33:12,571 --> 01:33:14,095 Milk in refrigerator. 1481 01:33:14,273 --> 01:33:17,868 That's the big box with the pretty light that comes on when you open the door. 1482 01:33:18,577 --> 01:33:22,741 It's not too late, Arthur. You can do anything under the sun. 1483 01:33:22,915 --> 01:33:25,542 All my deepest, fondest love. 1484 01:33:25,717 --> 01:33:27,708 I'm smiling down at you. 1485 01:33:27,886 --> 01:33:30,878 Or, more likely, up at you. 1486 01:33:31,456 --> 01:33:35,017 "Forever and ever, H." 1487 01:33:40,465 --> 01:33:41,693 Are you crying? 1488 01:33:43,201 --> 01:33:46,192 That's a bride's job, to cry. 1489 01:33:46,370 --> 01:33:48,099 It's time to man up, Arthur. 1490 01:34:29,478 --> 01:34:30,536 Dearly beloved... 1491 01:34:31,413 --> 01:34:36,441 ...we are gathered here today to join Arthur and Susan in matrimony. 1492 01:34:37,419 --> 01:34:41,321 Which is commended to be honorable among all men. 1493 01:34:41,490 --> 01:34:47,689 And therefore, is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly... 1494 01:34:47,895 --> 01:34:51,695 ...but reverently, discreetly and solemnly. 1495 01:34:51,866 --> 01:34:54,994 Seems like a lot of adverbs. That seem like a lot of adverbs to you? 1496 01:34:55,169 --> 01:34:56,500 Shh, Arthur. 1497 01:34:56,670 --> 01:35:00,003 If any person can show just cause... 1498 01:35:00,307 --> 01:35:03,504 ...why they may not be joined together... 1499 01:35:03,677 --> 01:35:07,612 ...let him speak now or forever hold his peace. 1500 01:35:14,020 --> 01:35:15,146 I object! 1501 01:35:16,756 --> 01:35:20,590 - To this wedding. - Arthur, you can't object. It's your wedding. 1502 01:35:20,760 --> 01:35:25,253 Is it my wedding? Because I think if it was, I'd know who all these people were. 1503 01:35:25,430 --> 01:35:26,829 I mean, who are you? 1504 01:35:27,132 --> 01:35:29,327 - I'm your best man. - I've never seen you befor... 1505 01:35:29,501 --> 01:35:32,959 - Actually, have I? I recognize you a bit. - I'm your mother's receptionist. 1506 01:35:33,138 --> 01:35:35,106 Oh, yeah, right. It's nice to see you. 1507 01:35:35,274 --> 01:35:37,970 But what about you two? Who's Abercrombie and who's Fitch? 1508 01:35:38,143 --> 01:35:40,668 And was there a bachelor party? I wasn't invited. 1509 01:35:40,846 --> 01:35:44,508 If there was, then I don't think I'd have enjoyed it. You look like squares. 1510 01:35:44,682 --> 01:35:46,650 And I've slept with three of them. 1511 01:35:46,951 --> 01:35:49,112 Not sure which three. I just... Statistically... 1512 01:35:49,287 --> 01:35:51,619 Susan, this isn't real. 1513 01:35:51,789 --> 01:35:55,122 This wedding is a sham. It's a wonderful sham wedding, but it's a sham. 1514 01:35:55,293 --> 01:35:56,885 We don't love each other. 1515 01:35:57,061 --> 01:35:59,621 Even you deserve better than this. 1516 01:36:03,568 --> 01:36:06,661 In fact, it was Abraham Lincoln who said, "Freedom..." 1517 01:36:08,538 --> 01:36:09,562 That's my little girl. 1518 01:36:13,143 --> 01:36:16,078 - You will marry me. - No, Susan. Abercrombie. Fitch. 1519 01:36:16,246 --> 01:36:21,582 I am the future of this company, and all I need is your goddamn last name. 1520 01:36:23,653 --> 01:36:25,176 - Hit him in the face. - No. 1521 01:36:25,354 --> 01:36:27,322 Stop. 1522 01:36:27,489 --> 01:36:29,423 Don't touch my son. 1523 01:36:32,228 --> 01:36:34,162 But Vivienne. 1524 01:36:34,396 --> 01:36:36,591 I think you've said enough. 1525 01:36:36,966 --> 01:36:37,990 Arthur, come here. 1526 01:36:48,543 --> 01:36:50,170 Are you certain about this? 1527 01:36:50,912 --> 01:36:52,607 Yes, I am. 1528 01:36:53,014 --> 01:36:54,538 It means giving up everything. 1529 01:36:55,817 --> 01:36:58,377 I'm happy to give up everything. 1530 01:36:58,920 --> 01:37:03,220 In fact, Vivienne, I can start giving up everything right now. 1531 01:37:03,391 --> 01:37:06,553 This, for example. Don't need that where I'm going. 1532 01:37:06,727 --> 01:37:09,218 Blue-collar district. This will look sarcastic. 1533 01:37:09,396 --> 01:37:12,797 I feel like I'm bound up like a little Japanese girl's foot. 1534 01:37:12,966 --> 01:37:16,766 I don't want that on anymore. Shackles, chaining me to wealth. 1535 01:37:16,937 --> 01:37:18,302 Bloody thing. Ugh. 1536 01:37:19,006 --> 01:37:21,236 This shirt, itchy. 1537 01:37:21,408 --> 01:37:22,932 I don't want it anymore. 1538 01:37:23,110 --> 01:37:26,135 I can assure all of you that after this... 1539 01:37:26,312 --> 01:37:29,543 ...I will be nowhere near the Bach fund. 1540 01:37:29,715 --> 01:37:32,912 So your investments are on solid footing. 1541 01:37:35,488 --> 01:37:39,049 Excuse me. Don't let that detract from what I just said. 1542 01:37:39,225 --> 01:37:40,453 And finally... 1543 01:37:42,595 --> 01:37:46,860 Actually, um, these were a Christmas present from Hobson. I... 1544 01:37:47,065 --> 01:37:48,623 I think I'll hang onto them. 1545 01:37:48,800 --> 01:37:51,997 - I'm keeping this ring. I'm keeping this ring. - Yes. 1546 01:37:52,170 --> 01:37:55,401 Okay, well, uh, I'm going to be poor now. 1547 01:38:02,614 --> 01:38:03,739 So how'd it go? 1548 01:38:04,214 --> 01:38:08,981 Well, um, I'm very sorry, Bitterman, but I'm afraid you're out of a job. 1549 01:38:10,988 --> 01:38:12,012 Congratulations. 1550 01:38:13,023 --> 01:38:16,220 - Is there anywhere I could take you, sir? - Well, that's very sweet... 1551 01:38:16,393 --> 01:38:19,055 ...but I've gotta get used to fending for myself now. 1552 01:38:19,229 --> 01:38:21,629 Could you hail me a cab, please? 1553 01:38:24,200 --> 01:38:26,134 Arthur. 1554 01:38:30,673 --> 01:38:33,005 - Once again, you've humiliated me. - Sorry. 1555 01:38:33,176 --> 01:38:37,135 But this time, I respect you for it. 1556 01:38:37,313 --> 01:38:38,974 You're stronger than I thought. 1557 01:38:39,182 --> 01:38:41,343 And you've shown me the truth about Susan. 1558 01:38:41,517 --> 01:38:43,211 Yeah, she's bloody evil, isn't she? 1559 01:38:43,385 --> 01:38:44,875 Oh. 1560 01:38:45,921 --> 01:38:48,151 - For the cab. - Oh. 1561 01:38:48,323 --> 01:38:50,120 Good luck in your life, Arthur. 1562 01:38:52,661 --> 01:38:54,185 A bit awkward. 1563 01:38:55,564 --> 01:38:56,895 We've got to get to Queens. 1564 01:38:57,065 --> 01:38:58,692 Do you know Queens? 1565 01:38:58,867 --> 01:39:01,563 It's full of traffic, isn't it? 1566 01:39:04,872 --> 01:39:06,169 Do you know Naomi? 1567 01:39:06,340 --> 01:39:08,001 Mazel tov, I'm looking for Naomi. 1568 01:39:08,175 --> 01:39:09,733 Naomi! 1569 01:39:09,910 --> 01:39:11,002 What? 1570 01:39:12,380 --> 01:39:17,443 Hello. I remembered. I remembered the bricks and the train. 1571 01:39:17,651 --> 01:39:19,016 I came in a taxi. 1572 01:39:19,587 --> 01:39:22,078 - You're wasted, Arthur. - No! 1573 01:39:22,256 --> 01:39:25,747 Well, yes. But that was only so I could get married. 1574 01:39:25,925 --> 01:39:30,692 - Oh, okay. - Naomi! I didn't go through with it. 1575 01:39:30,864 --> 01:39:36,166 Instead, I did the only rational thing, and I gave away all of my clothes. 1576 01:39:36,336 --> 01:39:40,067 Do you remember one word of the last conversation we had, Arthur? 1577 01:39:40,240 --> 01:39:45,768 - Yeah, we were going to build a secret door. - No. The other conversation. 1578 01:39:46,045 --> 01:39:49,344 I gave away billions of money for you. 1579 01:39:49,782 --> 01:39:52,250 You shouldn't have done that. 1580 01:39:53,886 --> 01:39:55,513 Naomi? 1581 01:39:58,590 --> 01:40:00,820 My mum's dead. 1582 01:40:01,760 --> 01:40:03,386 I know. 1583 01:40:04,262 --> 01:40:08,460 And I am so... I'm so, so sorry. 1584 01:40:08,633 --> 01:40:10,066 But... 1585 01:40:10,835 --> 01:40:13,429 ...I can't be her replacement. 1586 01:40:15,073 --> 01:40:16,631 Okay. 1587 01:40:53,876 --> 01:40:55,468 I used to have in my apartment... 1588 01:40:55,644 --> 01:41:00,047 ...a rather large, incredibly decadent magnetic bed. 1589 01:41:00,249 --> 01:41:02,648 Thought "This bed is gonna make me truly happy." 1590 01:41:02,817 --> 01:41:06,446 This is the one thing that my life requires, is a floating magnetic bed. 1591 01:41:06,621 --> 01:41:11,183 When I get that, I'll be happy. And my companion that evening was, um... 1592 01:41:11,359 --> 01:41:15,386 What's a euphemistic way to say it that doesn't sound unpleasant? Um... 1593 01:41:15,563 --> 01:41:16,587 A prostitute. And... 1594 01:41:17,966 --> 01:41:20,264 We tried to prize open the door of the fish tank... 1595 01:41:20,435 --> 01:41:22,493 ...because we thought we could make a phone call. 1596 01:41:22,669 --> 01:41:25,433 Broke the door off of the fish tank. 1597 01:41:25,606 --> 01:41:27,733 The fish came flooding out. I nearly drowned. 1598 01:41:29,376 --> 01:41:33,506 It wasn't without its amusing moments, but it took a spiritual toll on me... 1599 01:41:33,680 --> 01:41:38,583 ...and none of these phone boxes, nor magnetic beds could fill the hole within me. 1600 01:41:38,785 --> 01:41:42,777 I spent a lot of my life embarrassing my family and people that care about me. 1601 01:41:42,955 --> 01:41:46,823 But I've made amends with my mother now. As much as you can with a dragon. 1602 01:41:46,993 --> 01:41:48,858 I'm six months clean today. 1603 01:41:50,663 --> 01:41:52,654 Congratulations. 1604 01:41:52,899 --> 01:41:55,424 I think this is the most I've ever valued a coin. 1605 01:42:16,821 --> 01:42:18,413 Next. 1606 01:42:18,590 --> 01:42:20,251 Next in line, please. 1607 01:42:23,894 --> 01:42:25,885 That's 12.50. 1608 01:42:38,042 --> 01:42:41,307 Lady Liberty wrapped her giant green arms... 1609 01:42:41,478 --> 01:42:43,775 ...around the Chrysler Building one last time. 1610 01:42:43,947 --> 01:42:47,542 And then she carefully walked back to her own island. 1611 01:42:47,717 --> 01:42:49,844 Even though they'll always live apart... 1612 01:42:50,019 --> 01:42:53,921 ...they'll still stand a little taller and shine a little brighter... 1613 01:42:54,457 --> 01:42:56,721 ...because they shared an adventure. 1614 01:42:57,227 --> 01:42:58,251 The end. 1615 01:43:01,030 --> 01:43:03,862 It's question time. Does anybody have any questions? 1616 01:43:04,032 --> 01:43:05,090 I have a question. 1617 01:43:07,069 --> 01:43:11,802 Does anybody mind if I tell another story? 1618 01:43:11,974 --> 01:43:13,134 - I mind. - Me too. 1619 01:43:13,575 --> 01:43:15,475 You sound like Harry Potter. 1620 01:43:15,644 --> 01:43:18,442 Yeah, well, is that a bad thing? He's a great wizard. 1621 01:43:18,614 --> 01:43:22,276 Listen, it's quite a good story, and if no one here minds... 1622 01:43:22,450 --> 01:43:23,474 Uh, excuse me, sorry. 1623 01:43:23,651 --> 01:43:27,712 I'd really like the opportunity to tell it. 1624 01:43:27,888 --> 01:43:30,356 If that's okay, um... 1625 01:43:30,891 --> 01:43:35,419 Once upon a time, there was a prince. Handsome, he was. 1626 01:43:35,763 --> 01:43:38,095 He fell in love with a princess from Queens. 1627 01:43:38,266 --> 01:43:40,496 - Are you a girl or a boy? - Doesn't matter. 1628 01:43:41,102 --> 01:43:44,298 The fact is, he loved this princess so much... 1629 01:43:44,471 --> 01:43:47,235 ...that he was prepared to give up his kingdom for her... 1630 01:43:47,407 --> 01:43:49,500 ...but she turned him away. 1631 01:43:49,709 --> 01:43:52,576 - What a bitch. - She was not. Why would you say that? 1632 01:43:52,746 --> 01:43:54,611 She did the right thing, it turns out... 1633 01:43:54,781 --> 01:44:00,014 ...because this prince had a little bit of a problem with... 1634 01:44:00,987 --> 01:44:04,649 ...candy. He couldn't get enough candy. 1635 01:44:04,823 --> 01:44:07,155 - Do you mean drugs? - No. No. Where did you grow up? 1636 01:44:07,326 --> 01:44:08,486 - Meth? - No. 1637 01:44:08,661 --> 01:44:10,424 - Crack? - No. It was just booze. 1638 01:44:10,596 --> 01:44:13,463 Look, this isn't working. Okay. 1639 01:44:17,036 --> 01:44:22,496 What I came here to say to you, Naomi, is that I'm sorry. 1640 01:44:22,974 --> 01:44:25,135 I'm sorry that I lied to you. 1641 01:44:25,310 --> 01:44:27,710 I'm sorry that I hurt you. 1642 01:44:27,879 --> 01:44:30,677 And I'm sorry that I asked you to take care of me... 1643 01:44:30,848 --> 01:44:35,979 ...when what I want more than anything in the world is to take care of you. 1644 01:44:40,825 --> 01:44:43,793 And I think that's the end of the story. 1645 01:45:00,110 --> 01:45:02,134 Ew! 1646 01:45:03,579 --> 01:45:04,876 Hey, what's wrong with you? 1647 01:45:05,047 --> 01:45:09,074 This is just two adults kissing in a room full of children. 1648 01:45:12,855 --> 01:45:14,584 So how's the real world treating you? 1649 01:45:14,757 --> 01:45:17,920 Oh, I've learned mostly that I should just try and live simply now. 1650 01:45:18,094 --> 01:45:20,028 - It's better for me. - What is this? 1651 01:45:20,196 --> 01:45:21,719 Bitterman! Why? 1652 01:45:21,896 --> 01:45:26,196 You said, "This is the girl I can buy back with a fleet of movie cars." 1653 01:45:26,368 --> 01:45:30,964 I said this is a girl I can't buy back with a fleet of movie cars. 1654 01:45:31,139 --> 01:45:33,403 - Oh. - Specifically, I said "can't." 1655 01:45:33,575 --> 01:45:36,942 Get rid of... Just get rid of them. It's embarrassing. 1656 01:45:37,112 --> 01:45:39,910 - So I guess your mother forgave you. - Yeah, yeah, you know. 1657 01:45:40,081 --> 01:45:44,710 I got my inheritance in return for running the Bach charity discreetly. 1658 01:45:44,885 --> 01:45:46,785 Should we just take the subway? 1659 01:45:48,255 --> 01:45:50,280 Which one's the fastest? 1660 01:45:56,830 --> 01:45:59,594 Through the park, please, Bitterman. 1661 01:50:01,495 --> 01:50:03,486 Carrot was here