1 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,079 What does the word 'home' mean to you? 2 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,399 Home? 3 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:54,039 It's someplace safe. 4 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:00,679 Somewhere... 5 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:07,399 ...you know you can stay, and you don't have to move on. 6 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,519 It's not someplace temporary. 7 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:47,079 Scoot up a bit, just a little. 8 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:52,159 A bit down again. Like that. Perfect. 9 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,999 I also have to do this. 10 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:01,879 So if you close your eyes... - Yes. 11 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:06,919 ...and try to take a deep breath. Just relax completely. 12 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,919 Have you ever told your story before? 13 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,359 No. 14 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:27,199 But you're okay with telling me? 15 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,359 Yes. 16 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,799 Then I think that... 17 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:37,519 You don't have to tell me yet. Just think back to your earliest memory. 18 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,919 What's the earliest thing you remember? 19 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,959 I'm three or four years old. 20 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,399 Hey! Watch out! 21 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:11,719 Where are you? - We're in Afghanistan, in Kabul. 22 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,079 Can you describe yourself? 23 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,319 I think I always had a tendency... 24 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,039 I think I always had a tendency... 25 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:39,599 I think I always had a tendency... 26 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:40,919 to be a little different. Let's just put it like that. 27 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:41,319 to be a little different. Let's just put it like t-hat. 28 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,839 to be a little different. Let's just put it like that. 29 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,039 I wasn't afraid of wearing my sister's dresses... 30 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,879 ...my youngest sister's nightgown. 31 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,319 I liked the attention. 32 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,519 Where are you in Kabul? 33 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,839 In the house where I was born. 34 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:28,799 Where are your parents? - My mom is inside. 35 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,479 I just know she is. 36 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:42,919 There you go, sweetie. That should do the trick. 37 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:47,719 At night, I put my head on her lap, and she strokes my hair. 38 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,199 No one can do it like her. 39 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:57,479 When I look at my mother, I wish I could see what she looked like when she was young. 40 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:01,319 I've seen photos of her with dark black hair, 41 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:05,639 but I only remember her with grey. 42 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:10,279 Go back and play. Dinner will be ready in an hour. 43 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:22,399 Dad took me by the hand, and we walked the airstrip together. 44 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,279 He lifted me up and put me in the cockpit. 45 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:30,559 It didn't have a steering wheel. It was like a joystick, with buttons everywhere. 46 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,639 My sister is telling us stories about my father. 47 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,119 ...and then we took off! He said: 48 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:41,319 "It's important that you don't touch any buttons." 49 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:46,039 "If you hit the wrong one, it'll go kaboom!" 50 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,479 Then we flew off, into the clouds... 51 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:53,079 ...and we could see to the end of the world! 52 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,679 It was amazing! 53 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:02,279 Lots of it is true, but she makes a lot up too. 54 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:07,639 My brother and I are completely in awe of what she is telling us. 55 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:12,559 He said that as long as he was there, nothing would ever happen to me. 56 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:16,519 I remember feeling jealous. 57 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,079 Why were you jealous? 58 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:23,399 Because she is telling us about all these great things 59 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,919 that my brother and I never got to experience... 60 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:29,799 ...being together with our father. 61 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:33,879 Where is your father? 62 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:40,839 Can we just talk before we start? - Yes, of course. 63 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:48,479 Some things are hard to talk about. It's still tough, 64 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:52,079 but I need to come to terms with them. 65 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:56,439 It's my past, I can't run away from it, and I don't want to. 66 00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:02,679 I might be ready in half a year, a year. 67 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,839 Of course. We'll take it at your pace. 68 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:11,039 I'm just glad that you are finally ready to tell your story. 69 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:17,159 I remember back in high school, I had no clue. 70 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,719 There were so many stories going around, like: 71 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:24,239 "Did you hear he walked all the way from Afghanistan?" 72 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:27,959 Good one! - I didn't know what to believe. 73 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,319 There were stories like that. 74 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,359 Wow! 75 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,959 I remember the first time I saw you. 76 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,039 There weren't a lot of immigrants back then. 77 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:45,399 You were wearing a black and white checkered shirt. Remember? 78 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,279 Yes, I do. 79 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,719 And Buffalo shoes. - That's me. 80 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,039 I thought, "He's cool." - Fearless. 81 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:57,959 You kept staring straight ahead, like you were trying not to attract attention. 82 00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,719 You kept staring straight ahead, like you were trying not to attract attention. 83 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:06,399 I don't think you noticed me. I was surprised we got off at the same stop. 84 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:17,999 Look, I think it's from our Junior year? - Yes, it's Junior prom. 85 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:23,639 Check out those fancy shoes! Everything was tip top. 86 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,519 Here it is. 87 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:36,599 This is where my story begins. 88 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:42,239 I wrote it all down, when I got to Denmark. 89 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,959 Can you try to read it? 90 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:51,999 It'll be hard. I'm not that good at reading Dari anymore. 91 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,439 I can't even read my own handwriting. 92 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:12,199 After the Mujahideen... 93 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:17,479 The Mujahideen seized power in Afghanistan... 94 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:28,479 They killed my father, kidnapped my sister, and killed my mother and brother. 95 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:36,479 If I had stayed, they would likely have killed me too. 96 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,679 It was pretty intense. 97 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:50,159 Have you told Kasper any of these stories? 98 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,359 No. 99 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:02,239 Kasper, I'm going to start filming. 100 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,639 See if it needs more salt. 101 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,479 When are you getting married? 102 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,199 When we find a place to live. 103 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,559 First of all, I want you to come home. 104 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,959 Secondly, I want a place where we can have a party. 105 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:28,999 If we need to wait till we can have a party, it'll take a while. 106 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:34,439 Maybe I'll just go buy us a house while you're away. 107 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:38,479 You'll just have to deal with it then. 108 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:49,039 When do you leave tomorrow? - I have to be at the airport at 10. 109 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:54,839 How long this time? - Till June. 110 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,759 I'll be back for a few months and then leave again. 111 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,879 You leave again? - I think so. 112 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,239 Kasper has no idea. 113 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,799 Where are you going? - Back to the US. 114 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:13,719 Did you get an email from your professor at Princeton? 115 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:18,959 No, a letter. He wants me to do a post-doc. 116 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,479 To continue your research? - Yes. 117 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,879 What does Kasper say about that? 118 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:32,759 We haven't really talked about it. 119 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:47,399 Last time we spoke, we talked about your father. 120 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,599 Are you up to talking more about that? 121 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,399 Yes, it's just sad. 122 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:57,279 If we're back in Kabul during your childhood, 123 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,679 where is your father? 124 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,479 We don't know. 125 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:15,039 He was taken away. - Why? 126 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:23,799 Arise, you victims of oppression! 127 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:27,959 Arise, you prisoners of want! 128 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:34,519 Because the Afghan government saw him as a threat 129 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,239 to communist rule, 130 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:42,919 after they overthrew the monarchy in the late '70s... 131 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,519 ...in 1979. 132 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:58,999 They rounded up about 3,000 people, including my father. 133 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:04,719 My mother told me about the day he was picked up. 134 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,839 She said that he expected it. 135 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,559 Akhtar Nawabi? - Yes? 136 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,239 We have orders to bring you in. 137 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,799 Wait here. I'll get my coat. 138 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,039 Okay, but hurry up! 139 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:25,559 They've come for me. 140 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,959 You should keep this... 141 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,359 ...just in case. 142 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,799 I'm not a threat to anyone. I'll be back soon. 143 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,719 Then he was put in jail. 144 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:54,679 My mom told me that the family was able to visit him quite often, 145 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:58,039 but three months later, he disappeared... 146 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,319 ...just like that. 147 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:31,799 Amin, listen. You need to keep it high and make sure the string is taut. 148 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:36,319 I spend a lot of time with my brother. 149 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:42,079 He's a real boy, the kind who gets his hands dirty. He breeds pigeons on our roof. 150 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:47,919 Hold it tight! Be careful, Amin! Give it to me! Give it to me! 151 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,599 Sorry. 152 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,119 I have 69 cards. How many do you have? - 52. 153 00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:00,279 I have 69 cards. How many do you have? - 52. 154 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,759 How about I trade you Vivek Mushran for Anil Kapoor?. 155 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,879 - Please, Sabia. 156 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:13,639 I said no. I'm not interested. - But you have two Anil Kapoors! 157 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,039 I'll give you Vivek Mushran and Mamik-Singfi for him. 158 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:21,319 I don't need either of them, and it's always nice to have a spare Anil. 159 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,919 Look at him! He's so handsome. 160 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,439 Ugh! You really piss me off! 161 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:32,519 How do you want it? - I don't care. 162 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:36,359 Actually, I'm not in the mood for this. 163 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,199 When did you first realize that you were gay? 164 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,119 I wasn't very old. 165 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:09,359 I think I've had fantasies about men ever since I was five or six years old. 166 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,999 I remember one of them very clearly. 167 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,199 I was enamored with Jean-Claude Van Damme. 168 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,639 Seriously. I fantasized about him. 169 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:27,399 I also liked Jean-Claude Van Damme, but for different reasons. 170 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:33,919 Yeah, I'm pretty sure the way I "liked" him was ... different. 171 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:45,279 I kind of knew all along that I was into men, 172 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,959 without actually knowing what it meant. 173 00:17:52,800 --> 00:18:00,039 In Afghanistan, homosexuals didn't exist. There wasn't even a word for them. 174 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:05,999 They brought shame on the family, 175 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:09,919 so it was hard to accept being gay. 176 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,519 We play volleyball everyday. 177 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:30,999 Come on! 178 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:35,359 My brother and I we're quite the team. 179 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:40,119 My brother is very tall and great at spiking. 180 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:43,599 Focus! 181 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,839 These days, terrorists are receiving 182 00:18:52,960 --> 00:19:00,919 brand-new, long-range missiles from the US government. 183 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:06,479 The US wants a Vietnam War for the USSR in Afghanistan, but I'm telling you 184 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:14,119 that when the US supplies the terrorists with aid 185 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,239 to destroy Afghanistan, 186 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:20,719 Afghanistan could well become a second Vietnam for the US instead! 187 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:27,359 The civil war began when my father was taken away. They fought the Mujahideen. 188 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:31,759 The war isn't fought in Kabul proper, 189 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:36,199 so we don't notice it too much. 190 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:41,999 The only reason I notice it is because of my brother. 191 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,479 He's a growing teenage boy. 192 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,999 He doesn't want to join the army, but he has to. 193 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,159 Saif! 194 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,639 The police are coming! - Stop! 195 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,559 Run! 196 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,079 Saif! 197 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,039 Saif! 198 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,279 Saif! 199 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:44,679 Mom! 200 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:49,559 Mom, they're here. They caught him! 201 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:57,479 You can't stay here. You need to hide. Run over to Uncle Mahdi! Go! 202 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:01,839 Come back when it's dark. Be careful! 203 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:08,319 My brother is always on the run. He isn't the only one either. 204 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:12,079 Thousands of Afghan boys don't want to go to war, 205 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:16,799 and with good reason. Most of them don't return. 206 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,799 They die. 207 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:25,359 Oh my country, you suffer, because you were betrayed. 208 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:31,839 Oh my country, you've lost your melody, your voice. 209 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:37,119 Oh my country, you are in pain, and there is no cure. 210 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,319 Oh my country... 211 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:44,999 Mujahideen attacks are on the rise in Kabul after the Soviet withdrawal. 212 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:48,079 Yesterday, seven people were killed near Kabul Airport. 213 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:53,959 ...The last of the American embassy personnel flew out of Kabul today 214 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:58,599 and went to India. Most other Western embassies are either closed or closing. 215 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:04,879 The conventional wisdom is that when the Soviets have completely withdrawn... 216 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,359 the Afghans will set on one another, 217 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:11,599 and the capital will be even more dangerous than it is now. 218 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:21,799 The Soviet transport circles downward, firing magnesium flares 219 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,679 to divert any heat-seeking missiles. 220 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:30,679 The American-armed Mujahideen guerrillas are in the mountains around the city. 221 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:35,399 We know the Afghan army isn't strong enough to fend off the Taliban, 222 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:39,599 so it's just a matter of time before they invade Kabul. 223 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:47,239 We know they will seek revenge against people they consider "non-believers." 224 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:50,799 Amin! 225 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:51,199 We need to get out right away. 226 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,079 We need to get out right away. 227 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:58,159 We pack a few things, but we don't have time to sell anything. 228 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,479 Amin, come on. 229 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:28,039 So you barely made it out? - Yes, at the very last minute. 230 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:12,759 I cry all the way to the airport and then, on the plane. 231 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,599 Yeah... 232 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,959 We fled to Moscow. 233 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:27,039 Russia was the only country that would grant us a tourist visa. 234 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:33,239 Russia was such a strange place to be at the time. 235 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,959 We arrive a year after the fall of communism. 236 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:48,399 People are starving, and the supermarkets are empty. 237 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:55,479 The ruble keeps devaluating, and they keep printing new notes. 238 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:03,199 There's a lot of crime, and you can't trust the police. 239 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,679 Finally! - Abbas! My son! 240 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:33,919 My big brother, who lives in Sweden, meet us in Moscow when we arrive. 241 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,919 He rented an apartment for us. 242 00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,679 Oh, my God! You've grown! 243 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:48,199 He fled in the '80s, because he didn't want to go to war. 244 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,879 Go back! 245 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,959 Wow! 246 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,319 We need to get them to Sweden as quickly as possible, 247 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:13,559 so that they can start school. If we wait, they'll be too old. 248 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:17,039 I know. What about you, sweetheart? Is Sweden treating you well? 249 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:21,279 Cleaning doesn't pay well, but it's all right. 250 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:29,159 $4,600 dollars is all I could put together. I'll get you more when I can. 251 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:30,559 Thank you. 252 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:36,279 When do you have to go back? - Tomorrow. I only have two days off. 253 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,639 Come here, you two! 254 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:51,999 I bet it's boring hanging out with mom and our sisters all the time. 255 00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:55,719 I'll make real men out of you, when you get to Sweden. 256 00:27:55,840 --> 00:28:00,399 Just you wait! The girls in Sweden are beautiful! 257 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:10,199 What's the plan? - Getting out of Russia. 258 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:16,279 It costs a lot of money to get smuggled to Sweden. 259 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:18,839 By traffickers? 260 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:23,199 Yes, human traffickers. It's the cheapest way. 261 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:29,199 You can get to Sweden for $3,000. 262 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:32,399 It's $15-20,000 for all of us. 263 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:37,039 My big brother is under enormous pressure because of it. 264 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,039 He doesn't make a lot of money. 265 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,879 Stop! Papers, please! 266 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,639 Papers! 267 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,639 Stay there. 268 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:05,159 Your visa is expired. 269 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,519 Thank you. 270 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,599 Go on. 271 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,999 Beat it! 272 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,839 We couldn't move about the city freely, 273 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,679 because we didn't have the right papers, 274 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,479 so we stayed in Russia illegally. 275 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:44,839 I ran away from the police whenever I saw them on the street. 276 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:59,239 So, I'd sit at home all day, watching Mexican soap operas. 277 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,359 The whole family did. It was the highlight of our day. 278 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,759 Let me help you with that suitcase. - Oh, thank you! 279 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:11,039 Is this your first time in Mexico City? - Yes! I've never seen anything like it. 280 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,399 And so we sit there for a year. 281 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,999 We just sit there, waiting to leave. 282 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:25,639 It's really hard for my brother to put together all that money. 283 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:31,159 Then, there is only enough to send my sisters. 284 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:39,439 Call me as soon as you get there. 285 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:41,959 Of course. 286 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:49,719 We're not told much about the journey. 287 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:55,239 Often, the traffickers don't know themselves. 288 00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:02,759 Then we just wait for the call from Sweden, 289 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:07,839 hoping it's them, saying they're safe. 290 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:15,639 Those traffickers are such bastards! 291 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,799 I think they're a bunch of psychopaths. 292 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,439 Get in! 293 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,239 You two! Get in! 294 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:37,959 They are put inside a freight container, with lots of other people. 295 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,919 It's a bit warm in here... 296 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:54,639 Then it's loaded onto a huge cargo ship, 297 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:58,919 and surrounded by other containers, 298 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,719 blocking it, so they can't get out. 299 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,279 My older brother called. 300 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,279 It was... I mean, it was... 301 00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,879 Everything seemed normal 302 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:08,039 as the MS Estonia arrived in Stockholm from Tallinn this morning. 303 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:12,679 The 1,100 passengers were unaware of the drama happening below deck. 304 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:19,959 This is incredibly inhumane. It's human trafficking at its worst. 305 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:27,519 Confined in a trailer were 64 refugees, fighting to get out. 306 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,839 It's unclear how long they'd been inside. 307 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:36,639 Of the 64, 26 were children, the youngest just 8 months old. 308 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:52,159 They nearly died on the way. 309 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,679 They're not well. 310 00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:01,199 I think it's mainly the shock, but they aren't saying much. 311 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:07,599 I know someone, who can take a look at them. 312 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:21,479 I just need to get one thing straight: Your two sisters survived, right? 313 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,199 Yes. - They're not dead? 314 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:28,079 And you have an older brother, and they all live in Sweden. 315 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:29,839 Yeah. 316 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:34,559 Because...I thought your whole family was dead. 317 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:37,519 Yeah. - And they're not. 318 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,479 No. 319 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,839 That's fantastic! It's really great to hear that. 320 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:51,319 But in all these years, you never told anyone about your family? 321 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:58,039 I think it was only after I started university 322 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:02,199 that I began to open up a bit... 323 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:09,159 ...to an ex-boyfriend. But that didn't go so well. 324 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:13,639 I told him a little about my family. 325 00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:19,279 At first he seemed... 326 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,119 ...very understanding, 327 00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:26,519 but when we had a big argument, he used it against me. 328 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,799 He said he would call the police and inform them 329 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:36,119 that my asylum was based on a lie. 330 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:44,439 Even after I broke up with him, I was terrified of it for years. 331 00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:11,599 I think it's a great house. 332 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,879 It's nice. 333 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:18,039 The property is pretty big. - It's enormous! 334 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:22,679 Is that also part of the property? - Yes, all the way to the road. 335 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:27,239 It has a lot of potential. - There's a cat! 336 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,439 It walks around like it owns the place. 337 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:35,119 If we bring our cat, they'll have a big fight. 338 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,679 Try calling it. - What do you say in Danish? 339 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:44,279 Here, kitty, kitty! Come here. 340 00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,799 It wants to. It's flirting. 341 00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:52,359 Honey, look at all those hazelnut trees! 342 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,439 I think they're hazelnut. - Come. 343 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:58,519 Are they hazelnut? - Yes. 344 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,359 He's so cute. 345 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,359 They're hazelnut, right? - Kitty... 346 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:12,999 I'm not sure. They're not hazelnut. They just look like it. 347 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:20,279 You really get into the summer mood with the heat and... 348 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:25,799 But can you see yourself living there? - Yes, I can. - Really? 349 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:30,799 What do you think? 350 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:39,119 Would you be able to live there, babe? I don't want to be out there by myself. 351 00:37:39,240 --> 00:37:44,199 Yes, of course. - So you won't... 352 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:49,159 suddenly have all sorts of commitments all the time. 353 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:56,199 The narrow roads and big fields... 354 00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:02,319 ...They remind me of my time at the asylum center. 355 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:08,719 I'm scared of feeling depressed out there. 356 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,639 357 00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:20,159 You'll never be a part of this family. Leave! I never want to see you again! 358 00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:25,559 But I'm carrying our child! You can't just throw me out! 359 00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:34,079 Police! 360 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:34,839 Police! 361 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:42,079 We heard a noise. Open the door! We just want to talk to you. 362 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:45,039 We need to see your papers! Open the door. 363 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:49,839 Fuck! I hate them. They're the worst people in the world. 364 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:53,519 They stank of vodka. It was so disgusting. 365 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:56,519 We know you're in there! Open up! 366 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,239 The nastiest people imaginable! 367 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,919 Even worse than the traffickers! 368 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,599 We have all day. 369 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:13,879 I don't remember the day we fled, or how we got from Russia to... 370 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,799 I don't remember. 371 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,279 We drove for hours. 372 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:30,319 Now I remember. We are in a big truck, 373 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:35,079 which normally carried wood. They drive us. 374 00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:40,799 We're dropped off in a forest and have to sit there and wait. 375 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:46,199 It's really cold, and we aren't dressed warmly enough. 376 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:15,919 There are two things I'll never forget about that night. 377 00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:24,399 Come on, Mother, We need to keep up. 378 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,119 Faster! No talking. 379 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,519 Wait! 380 00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:37,279 Stop. 381 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,439 You there! Keep moving. Go on! 382 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:38,839 He needs other shoes. - We don't have any. 383 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:43,399 Are you kidding? You know we're sneaking across the border, don't you? 384 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,879 What do you want me to do? - Take them off! 385 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:49,559 He can't just take his shoes off! - If you don't do it, I will! 386 00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:55,359 What's going on? You can't stop. You have to keep walking. Move! 387 00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:06,119 No! Stop! I'll carry him. 388 00:42:06,240 --> 00:42:08,839 I'll carry him. 389 00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:12,759 We won't wait for you. Go! 390 00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:19,319 You have to stay there, sweetie. He's helping us... 391 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,279 Thank you. 392 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:32,039 Wait! Come help us! 393 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:44,519 She's holding us up. - Why not shoot her in the head? 394 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:54,119 "We'll shoot her in the head and leave her here." So cold-blooded. 395 00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:57,839 I'll do it. It's easy. 396 00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:01,959 No, I'll make sure she keeps up. We'll hurry. 397 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:07,639 I think he said that to her son. 398 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,919 My mother was also old. 399 00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:30,919 That woman... It's good she didn't understand Russian. 400 00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:56,159 They got this boat to take us to Sweden. 401 00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,759 across the Baltic Sea to Sweden. 402 00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:03,679 I know the boat can't... 403 00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:07,599 My mother is terrified of water. 404 00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:10,519 Are we all getting on this boat? - I guess. 405 00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:15,279 But there's not enough room? - There has to be. 406 00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:19,599 We'll never convince Mom to get in that. 407 00:44:19,720 --> 00:44:22,799 She has to. She can't stay here. 408 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:35,279 You need to stay below deck, so the coast guard won't see you. 409 00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:40,119 We stripped the inside, so there's room down there. 410 00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:45,079 It will take two days to get to Sweden. Let's go! 411 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,559 No... No! 412 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:55,039 We sail for a couple of hours... I think. 413 00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,959 People start puking. 414 00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:03,079 It's bad, real bad. 415 00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:23,119 Water! Water is getting in! Help! Help! 416 00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:26,279 Open up! 417 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:51,079 So you're bailing out water in the pouring rain. 418 00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:55,079 We need to keep bailing it out, because it keeps getting in. 419 00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:58,999 The boat doesn't even have a radio, 420 00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:03,799 so we can't call for help. 421 00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:09,599 No one knows how to swim either. 422 00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:15,599 I think it would have been easier if it was just me. 423 00:47:15,720 --> 00:47:17,919 My mother was terrified. 424 00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:24,239 Whenever she talked about death, she always mentioned water. 425 00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:30,399 Dying in water, drowning, was her worst nightmare. 426 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,159 What's going through your head? 427 00:47:41,720 --> 00:47:46,719 Who do I save first, if the boat goes down? 428 00:47:56,240 --> 00:47:58,239 Because you knew how to swim? 429 00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:00,999 No. 430 00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:05,839 I didn't really think about that. 431 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:14,959 Maybe I thought I could. I have no clue. 432 00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:18,159 I was more concerned... 433 00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:22,799 ...about who I would choose. 434 00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,839 A few days pass. 435 00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:19,719 Help! Over here! 436 00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,879 Over here! Help! 437 00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:28,559 It's from Norway! 438 00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:54,359 I don't know why, but as I stand there, looking at that ship, 439 00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:58,439 I just can't feel the joy. 440 00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:02,959 What's wrong? 441 00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:06,239 I'm embarrassed... 442 00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:16,519 ...embarrassed and ashamed of our situation. 443 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:30,639 People want to jump into the water and swim to the ship. 444 00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:33,559 I mean... 445 00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:38,039 They think that if they jump into the water and swim, 446 00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:41,399 the ship will pick them up. 447 00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:44,679 Everyone is so desperate... 448 00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:49,959 It's a fantastic opportunity! 449 00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,319 All of a sudden... 450 00:50:57,240 --> 00:51:03,039 everything we want to achieve is right there. 451 00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:07,519 You could almost reach out and touch it. 452 00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:27,079 We have called the Estonian border police. They're on their way. 453 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:30,039 They will take you back. 454 00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:34,079 We have called the Estonian border police. They're on their way. 455 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:37,119 They will take you back. 456 00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,879 Then the police come and take us: 457 00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:07,679 men in camouflage, with balaclavas and face paint. 458 00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:13,159 They scream and shout like crazy. 459 00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,439 I have no idea what's going on. 460 00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:27,399 I'm crying and crying. I can't stop. 461 00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:34,439 I can see the fear in the adults' eyes. They are terrified! 462 00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:38,639 Even the big men... You can see it in their eyes. They're petrified. 463 00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:42,039 It really scared me. 464 00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:45,679 If they are that afraid, what will happen to us? 465 00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:48,919 It must be serious. 466 00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:49,239 It must be serious. 467 00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:58,199 We are locked inside an abandoned building. 468 00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:01,399 There are guards, and on that same day, 469 00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:05,719 they run barbed wire around the building. 470 00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:08,359 People were in shock. 471 00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:11,119 Based on how they treated us, 472 00:53:11,240 --> 00:53:15,959 we thought we would be there for the rest of our lives. 473 00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:21,439 We have no idea what will happen to us. No one tells us anything. 474 00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:28,879 Journalists come and film us. We hope something will happen, but no. 475 00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:34,439 They get their footage of poor refugees and go home to do their TV shows... 476 00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:40,879 But nothing actually happens. It's just us and the guards. 477 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:46,279 It felt like my life had ground to a halt. 478 00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:52,439 Then, six months later, 479 00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:56,839 they gave us two options: 480 00:53:56,960 --> 00:54:01,519 Stay here to rot, or... 481 00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,959 ...go back to Moscow. 482 00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:16,679 As soon as we arrive in Russia, we are arrested by the Russian police. 483 00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:21,159 They want to send us back to Afghanistan, 484 00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:25,159 but luckily... the Russian police were so corrupt 485 00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:29,279 that if we gave them the last of our money, they would let us go. 486 00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:59,759 Thanks for letting me crash here. 487 00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:03,679 Do you want a snack with that? - No. 488 00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:05,079 What happened? 489 00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:07,639 I just needed to get away. 490 00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:11,559 I told Kasper that I'm doing my postdoc at Princeton. 491 00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,359 It didn't go well? - No, it didn't. 492 00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:19,119 He feels stupid because we looked at al those houses. 493 00:55:19,240 --> 00:55:21,919 He doesn't understand. 494 00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:35,079 It seems as if it's more Kasper's project than yours? 495 00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:40,879 I don't know. It's his dream, but I'd also like a place to settle down. 496 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,799 But? - Nothing. 497 00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:51,639 It makes me a little nervous. 498 00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:54,439 Because... 499 00:55:54,560 --> 00:56:00,279 Getting out of Russia was a tremendous gift... 500 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:04,799 a tremendous gift. I got a life. 501 00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:10,479 I couldn't just give that up or... 502 00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:12,199 Yeah. 503 00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:17,679 If it wasn't for my siblings, I wouldn't be where I am today. 504 00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:25,199 So, I bear a tremendous burden on my shoulders... 505 00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:28,679 ...you could say. 506 00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:37,159 For example, my brother had a Finnish girlfriend for ten years. 507 00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:40,759 They wanted children, but he couldn't, 508 00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:46,799 because he had to save every penny to get us out of Russia. 509 00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,839 His girlfriend left him. 510 00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:59,559 How does not moving to the countryside help your family? 511 00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:03,439 Aren't you supposed to be on my side? 512 00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:09,839 When are you leaving for the US? - On Sunday. 513 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:11,919 Sunday? - Yes. 514 00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:19,279 How long will you be gone? - I'm coming home for a few days. 515 00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:24,039 So, three or four months from now? - Yes. 516 00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:36,799 Look at this place. I can't believe it's ours! 517 00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:40,239 Only the best for you, my love. 518 00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:51,399 Something happened to my mom. She started acting strange in Russia. 519 00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:54,279 She got some kind of allergy. 520 00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:03,519 I think she's homesick. She misses Afghanistan. 521 00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:15,559 It's boring just staying home 522 00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:23,439 I'm a teenager, and I want to experience something different, 523 00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:27,079 so I go outside. 524 00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:35,599 This is a restaurant of Moscow-McDonald's joint venture. 525 00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:41,839 This company is known around the world for its prompt food service. 526 00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:56,199 When we get out of Russia, we should go to McDonald's to celebrate. 527 00:58:56,320 --> 00:59:01,479 I'd like a Big Mac and a Coke, thank you! It's going to be so nice. 528 00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:04,799 Hey, you! Come with me! - No! We didn't do anything! 529 00:59:04,920 --> 00:59:09,199 Let me see your papers then. 530 00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:11,799 Just as I thought. 531 00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,879 Stop! Don't... - Where's your money? 532 00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:20,919 We don't have any! We just wanted to see what's going on. 533 00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:25,519 Can I see that watch for a second? - Don't touch him! 534 00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:28,079 Come here! 535 00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:38,159 Look what I found. - Nice! I'd like to have some fun with her. 536 00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:41,919 Go on. Sit down! 537 00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:46,999 What's with them? - They need to be taught a lesson. 538 00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:50,919 Sir! 539 00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:55,559 Why are they here? - These two? They're greedy. They won't pay. 540 00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:58,359 What about her? - She doesn't have any money either, 541 00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:01,839 we thought she could pay us in another way. 542 01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:04,559 You two! Out! 543 01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:20,639 I remember her face... her black hair... 544 01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:24,319 ...big, dark eyes... 545 01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:36,839 Fuck! Why didn't I protect her? Say something? I just let it happen. 546 01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:44,119 It's one of the most horrible feelings I ever had. 547 01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:48,839 I can't do this anymore. 548 01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:08,719 My brother isn't very old, 549 01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:12,079 but he assumed responsibility for us. 550 01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:17,159 He wants to send my mother and I first. 551 01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:22,599 This time, we're very careful. 552 01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:28,479 We make arrangements with a very expensive trafficker, 553 01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:34,079 because we didn't want to go through the same things again. 554 01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:37,919 We insist on a safe, secure route, 555 01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:42,519 which mean we only have enough for one of us to leave. 556 01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:48,199 In the end, my brother decides that it should be me. 557 01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:54,119 It was horrible, because I felt awful about leaving him behind. 558 01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:58,159 Each week, each month, each year, 559 01:01:58,280 --> 01:02:02,159 his chance of having a decent future dwindles. 560 01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:31,559 Okay. You have to learn your name and date of birth by heart. V 561 01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:38,399 You're Russian. Remember that. Speak Russian if anyone asks you anything. 562 01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:44,439 Destroy the passport as soon as you reach your final destination. 563 01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:50,319 If the police catch you with a fake passport, they'll send you back to Russia. 564 01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:53,759 Stick to the story we gave you. It's crucial. 565 01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:57,559 From now on, you have no family. They're dead. 566 01:02:57,680 --> 01:03:02,759 You fled Afghanistan on your own, without any help. 567 01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:06,439 If you say anything else, you'll be shipped back to Afghanistan. 568 01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:10,959 What do you mean? - Don't tell anyone about your family. 569 01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:14,679 You have no family. Understand? 570 01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:20,399 Good. Now get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow. 571 01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:35,559 The traffickers had all this power over my life. 572 01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:40,279 You're left completely powerless. 573 01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:06,919 I'm with another young guy, also alone, just like like me. 574 01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:10,799 He's nice and funny. He makes me laugh. 575 01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:16,599 He's a bit boyish, but there is an age difference between us. 576 01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:20,359 He's closer to becoming a man. 577 01:04:20,480 --> 01:04:23,839 I think it's kind of sexy. 578 01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:28,119 I think I have a little crush on him. 579 01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:31,439 His gold necklace is so beautiful... 580 01:04:32,280 --> 01:04:37,159 Do you want to try it on? I'm sure it will look great on you. 581 01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:42,039 Very nice! 582 01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:09,879 Our flight to Istanbul will take around two hours. 583 01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:14,319 Thank you for flying Ukrainian International Airlines. 584 01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:39,359 Once you pass by passport control on your right... 585 01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:43,559 Don't stare! Once you pass it, you're on your own. 586 01:05:43,680 --> 01:05:50,399 You're going to different destinations. You're going to Zurich, Gate D27. 587 01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:52,759 You're going to Copenhagen, Gate A9. 588 01:05:52,760 --> 01:05:58,639 You're going to Copenhagen, Gate A9. 589 01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:02,879 I thought I was going to Sweden? - No, you're going to Denmark. 590 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,559 Denmark? But... 591 01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:10,759 It's the last trip, so you'll have to manage on your own from now on. 592 01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:15,719 Remember to eall home as soon as you land. It's very important. 593 01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:18,479 That way, I can get my money. 594 01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:21,359 Okay. Now, go! 595 01:06:32,200 --> 01:06:36,519 You're going to Zurich? - Yes, it's in Switzerland. 596 01:06:36,640 --> 01:06:41,119 Do you have family there? - Is yours in Copenhagen? 597 01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:47,759 Hey, thanks for letting me borrow it. - No, keep it. 598 01:06:49,360 --> 01:06:50,719 Are you sure? 599 01:06:52,560 --> 01:06:54,479 Thank you. 600 01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:57,559 Good luck. - You too. 601 01:07:02,960 --> 01:07:06,919 It's weird that I can't remember his name, when he meant so much to me. 602 01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:13,039 He was part of something that had a huge influence on my life. 603 01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:19,879 Then, all of a sudden, I'm flying on my own, and landing in Copenhagen. 604 01:07:33,480 --> 01:07:36,519 I sit there waiting for a while. 605 01:07:40,400 --> 01:07:45,119 I see this big group of people, so I start to follow them. 606 01:08:03,400 --> 01:08:05,239 Move! 607 01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:30,199 I think I just said "refugee." 608 01:08:30,320 --> 01:08:33,879 What? Refugee? - Refugee. 609 01:08:35,120 --> 01:08:38,399 Where's your passport? 610 01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:42,159 Karin is here because you're a minor, who arrived without a guardian. 611 01:08:42,280 --> 01:08:45,999 A guardian must be present at your interview. 612 01:08:47,480 --> 01:08:52,799 The interpreter is Iranian and I'm Afghani, so we miscommunicate. 613 01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:56,919 Let's start with the formalities. What's your name? 614 01:09:02,800 --> 01:09:03,999 Amin. 615 01:09:04,360 --> 01:09:08,319 We need to know how you got here. 616 01:09:12,280 --> 01:09:16,719 There's nothing to worry about. Just tell us what happened. 617 01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:23,359 I'm interrogated for hours. 618 01:09:23,480 --> 01:09:26,359 I'm the only survivor from my family. 619 01:09:26,480 --> 01:09:31,679 I have to stick to the story the smuggler gave me. 620 01:09:31,800 --> 01:09:34,719 I saw my mother and sisters get killed. 621 01:09:34,840 --> 01:09:41,119 I'm sobbing. The damn story really hits me, even though it's not true. 622 01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:48,759 I'm crying uncontrollably. The tears just keep coming. 623 01:09:52,280 --> 01:09:57,559 My father and I hid in the desert for a year, before he was killed. 624 01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:05,679 I'm surprised to be crying over something that isn't true. 625 01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:10,439 It took a month to get from Afghanistan to Denmark. 626 01:10:13,280 --> 01:10:19,399 As soon as I'm done, I write everything down, 627 01:10:19,520 --> 01:10:24,279 word for word, in Dari, in my notebook. 628 01:10:24,400 --> 01:10:27,399 I have no one. I'm all alone. 629 01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:30,559 That's the story I told... 630 01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:33,319 ...everyone ... until now. 631 01:10:38,960 --> 01:10:44,839 It is not until we're driving through the town square, 632 01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:49,559 and I see the neon lights... 633 01:10:50,440 --> 01:10:53,879 that I realize... 634 01:10:56,920 --> 01:11:00,999 I'm not being sent back. 635 01:11:17,400 --> 01:11:19,999 Hello? - Abbas? 636 01:11:21,160 --> 01:11:23,799 Amin? -Yes. 637 01:11:23,920 --> 01:11:27,039 Finally! Are you okay? -Yes. 638 01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:30,959 Where are you? 639 01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:33,999 In Denmark. -Oh... 640 01:11:36,080 --> 01:11:39,519 Why didn't you call earlier? - I couldn't find a phone. 641 01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:42,119 What? I can't hear you. 642 01:11:42,240 --> 01:11:45,399 I couldn't find a phone. - Okay. 643 01:11:46,680 --> 01:11:48,959 I'll make the call to Moscow. 644 01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:54,199 They told me to say you're all dead... 645 01:11:56,640 --> 01:11:59,199 ...but you're not... 646 01:12:01,360 --> 01:12:03,559 What do I tell people? 647 01:12:07,280 --> 01:12:09,639 What do I say? 648 01:12:12,400 --> 01:12:17,359 You have to do what the trafficker said. Keep it secret. 649 01:12:17,480 --> 01:12:20,519 But... - I'll try to figure out a way to meet. 650 01:12:20,640 --> 01:12:25,359 I'll let you know. Take care of yourself. 651 01:12:26,760 --> 01:12:29,359 Okay, bye. 652 01:12:53,320 --> 01:12:58,159 It took years before I could visit my siblings in Stockholm. 653 01:12:59,920 --> 01:13:05,479 It was very lonely and frustrating. 654 01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:12,959 The fear of getting caught and being sent back was so strong... 655 01:13:14,680 --> 01:13:18,959 ...that I couldn't tell the truth. There were lots of consequences: 656 01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:21,359 I couldn't be myself. 657 01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:26,559 It was really painful. 658 01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:31,959 Most people can't even begin to imagine 659 01:13:32,080 --> 01:13:35,479 how fleeing like that affects you... 660 01:13:35,600 --> 01:13:40,479 what it means for your relationships with other people... 661 01:13:40,600 --> 01:13:44,519 how much it destroys you... 662 01:13:47,440 --> 01:13:50,999 There were things I couldn't say about my family, 663 01:13:51,120 --> 01:13:56,079 like that I had siblings in Sweden, and that my mother was alive, 664 01:13:56,200 --> 01:13:59,679 because it didn't fit my background story. 665 01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:03,399 There were always constraints. 666 01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:08,079 things had to be adjusted, retained, and suppressed. 667 01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:18,319 So, what did you want to talk about? - I'd like some medicine. 668 01:14:18,440 --> 01:14:23,439 Okay, you'll have to see the doctor, but I can make an appointment. 669 01:14:23,560 --> 01:14:28,719 What's wrong? - We spoke about it last time... 670 01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:33,559 the thing about me being attracted to men. 671 01:14:33,680 --> 01:14:37,919 Oh... Oh, that, yes. - I'd like some medicine. 672 01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:42,359 What do you mean? 673 01:14:42,480 --> 01:14:45,319 I want to get well. 674 01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:49,599 I don't want to like men. 675 01:14:50,560 --> 01:14:56,319 It's not that I considered it a disease, but I thought it could be cured, 676 01:14:57,200 --> 01:15:00,719 that it was something that could be cured. 677 01:15:00,720 --> 01:15:04,919 But she told me that it wasn't that simple. 678 01:15:06,120 --> 01:15:10,399 Okay, fuck... It's something that I have to live with: 679 01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:20,719 the fear of being rejected by your family 680 01:15:20,840 --> 01:15:23,879 for being gay, because it wasn't acceptable. 681 01:15:24,000 --> 01:15:27,679 Family meant a lot to me then, since I was all alone in Denmark. 682 01:15:27,800 --> 01:15:30,639 Little brother, you're finally here! 683 01:15:30,760 --> 01:15:35,879 It was the only reference point in our fucking, crazy lives. 684 01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:40,839 The thought of losing that was very scary. 685 01:15:40,960 --> 01:15:46,239 When are you going to find a girlfriend? Aren't the girls in Denmark pretty? 686 01:15:46,360 --> 01:15:52,679 Maybe I should come help you out. I'm sure I could find one for you. 687 01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:57,799 I didn't dare tell my brother. I was in Stockholm, 688 01:15:57,920 --> 01:16:03,119 and I had no plans to tell him, but it just happened. 689 01:16:03,240 --> 01:16:08,679 He kept pestering me about not having a girlfriend. 690 01:16:08,800 --> 01:16:13,439 Finally, I felt so intimidated that I said: 691 01:16:13,560 --> 01:16:18,799 "I don't have a girlfriend because I'm not interested in girls that way." 692 01:16:18,920 --> 01:16:22,079 Everyone went completely quiet. 693 01:16:30,360 --> 01:16:33,519 Are you sure? 694 01:16:33,640 --> 01:16:35,639 Yes. 695 01:16:35,760 --> 01:16:39,479 Have you ever been with a girl? 696 01:16:42,440 --> 01:16:45,119 Amin, let's go. 697 01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:48,799 Where are we going? - Just come. 698 01:17:44,440 --> 01:17:46,119 Come. 699 01:17:50,200 --> 01:17:53,119 Tell me what's going on. - You'll see. 700 01:18:03,640 --> 01:18:05,399 Go on. Have fun. 701 01:18:34,800 --> 01:18:38,039 There's nothing to worry about. We always knew. 702 01:18:39,760 --> 01:18:40,879 Thank you. 703 01:18:52,480 --> 01:18:56,519 Can I help you? What would you like? 704 01:19:02,600 --> 01:19:08,039 There I was. My first time at a gay club, all by myself... 705 01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:11,359 and I didn't go home.... 706 01:19:31,400 --> 01:19:34,359 I always made my career a priority. 707 01:19:34,480 --> 01:19:38,519 When forced to choose between a guy or a career and an education, 708 01:19:38,640 --> 01:19:41,999 I always chose an education. Cold and cynical. 709 01:19:42,120 --> 01:19:44,919 Please welcome our next speaker: Amin Nawabi. 710 01:19:48,120 --> 01:19:51,279 My siblings sacrificed so much for me. 711 01:19:52,400 --> 01:19:57,159 I had to do well. I felt I had a huge responsibility. 712 01:20:05,760 --> 01:20:09,999 It was important to be tough. 713 01:20:12,240 --> 01:20:15,679 Only now, that I'm telling you about it, 714 01:20:15,840 --> 01:20:21,239 do I start to realize how hard it's been. 715 01:20:21,360 --> 01:20:23,759 It hurts to think back on it. 716 01:20:25,520 --> 01:20:26,959 Of course. 717 01:20:28,400 --> 01:20:31,759 Being back in the US... 718 01:20:31,880 --> 01:20:37,559 I'm starting to get really tired of constantly being on the move. 719 01:20:38,920 --> 01:20:41,199 It's good for my career, 720 01:20:42,440 --> 01:20:46,719 but it's not that good for... - It's not that good for you. 721 01:20:46,840 --> 01:20:49,479 It's not that good for me. 722 01:20:49,600 --> 01:20:54,399 The first time I interviewed you back home, you mentioned 723 01:20:54,520 --> 01:20:58,999 that there were some things you needed to come to terms with. 724 01:21:18,160 --> 01:21:22,519 You grow up. You grow up too fast. 725 01:21:22,640 --> 01:21:26,639 When you flee as a child, it... 726 01:21:27,600 --> 01:21:30,839 it takes time to learn 727 01:21:30,880 --> 01:21:33,159 to trust people. 728 01:21:35,200 --> 01:21:39,679 You're constantly on your guard, all the time... 729 01:21:39,800 --> 01:21:41,759 all the time... 730 01:21:41,880 --> 01:21:49,039 Even when you're in a safe place, you're on your guard. 731 01:22:07,040 --> 01:22:11,119 I can feel that something needs to happen. 732 01:22:51,040 --> 01:22:52,919 Ta-da! 733 01:22:53,240 --> 01:22:56,279 I'm not going to carry you over the threshold. 734 01:22:56,400 --> 01:23:01,039 You'd rather carry a cactus instead? - It's kind of the same. 735 01:23:03,680 --> 01:23:07,439 I'm just going to put this away. 736 01:23:10,600 --> 01:23:13,559 It's a little... - Yeah. 737 01:23:14,520 --> 01:23:18,319 Look at the view. It's stunning. 738 01:23:18,440 --> 01:23:23,599 Every time you look at it, you're just like, "Wow!" 739 01:23:25,120 --> 01:23:28,799 The garden is really beautiful right now. 740 01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:34,199 I wonder if we have enough stuff to fill the place. 741 01:23:43,520 --> 01:23:50,359 Honey, I think I saw a big raspberry patch just outside the lot. 742 01:23:57,600 --> 01:24:00,999 Look! That's all raspberries! - Wow! 743 01:24:01,120 --> 01:24:05,759 - It's so nice. - We just need to look after it. 744 01:24:07,680 --> 01:24:09,839 It's wet here. - You can see it from here. 745 01:24:09,960 --> 01:24:12,639 The view of the house is better here.