1 00:00:43,924 --> 00:00:47,828 CHORUS: ♪ Going barefoot in the park 2 00:00:47,861 --> 00:00:50,864 ♪ Where it says, "Keep off the grass" 3 00:00:51,899 --> 00:00:56,136 ♪ Isn't recommended for the very old 4 00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:04,111 ♪ But when you're young and you're in love 5 00:01:04,144 --> 00:01:06,847 ♪ The world is beautiful 6 00:01:08,315 --> 00:01:12,285 ♪ And I'm not a bit afraid of you catching cold 7 00:01:15,989 --> 00:01:18,692 ♪ Running barefoot through the park 8 00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:22,696 ♪ Searching bareheaded in the rain 9 00:01:23,731 --> 00:01:26,433 ♪ For a midwinter daisy 10 00:01:26,466 --> 00:01:28,936 ♪ Seems kind of crazy to do 11 00:01:31,571 --> 00:01:34,574 ♪ But come along My barefoot love 12 00:01:35,876 --> 00:01:38,511 ♪ To the fields that shine with spring 13 00:01:38,545 --> 00:01:39,747 We just got married! 14 00:01:39,780 --> 00:01:41,682 ♪ Though it's 10 below 15 00:01:41,715 --> 00:01:44,785 ♪ Let me go knee-deep in daisies with you 16 00:01:47,688 --> 00:01:49,389 ♪ La la la 17 00:01:49,422 --> 00:01:51,124 They just got married. 18 00:01:51,859 --> 00:01:54,762 ♪ La la la la la la la 19 00:01:55,963 --> 00:01:59,700 ♪ La la la la la la la la la la la 20 00:02:04,304 --> 00:02:07,741 ♪ La la la la la la la la 21 00:02:09,476 --> 00:02:11,679 ♪ La la la la la 22 00:02:11,712 --> 00:02:14,815 ♪ La la la la la la la la la la la 23 00:02:15,448 --> 00:02:16,884 ♪ La la la la 24 00:02:23,456 --> 00:02:24,456 Whoa! 25 00:02:32,565 --> 00:02:33,805 This is the Plaza Hotel, please. 26 00:02:34,601 --> 00:02:36,436 Plaza. Corie, it's the Plaza. 27 00:02:36,469 --> 00:02:38,305 Wait a minute. I'm not finished. 28 00:02:39,406 --> 00:02:40,808 Corie, the man is waiting. Wait. 29 00:02:40,841 --> 00:02:42,575 Give him a big tip. 30 00:02:42,609 --> 00:02:45,278 Paul, tell me you're not sorry we got married. 31 00:02:45,312 --> 00:02:47,323 After 40 minutes? Let's give it a couple of hours first. 32 00:02:47,347 --> 00:02:49,049 Paul? 33 00:02:49,082 --> 00:02:51,584 If the honeymoon doesn't work out, let's not get divorced. 34 00:02:51,618 --> 00:02:53,553 Let's kill each other. 35 00:02:53,586 --> 00:02:54,764 Let's have one of the maids do it. 36 00:02:54,788 --> 00:02:56,990 I hear the service here is wonderful. 37 00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:00,861 Uh... 38 00:03:04,297 --> 00:03:05,733 Uh... (GRUNTS) 39 00:03:09,970 --> 00:03:11,739 Here's... Bye. Thank you. 40 00:03:12,973 --> 00:03:14,041 Come on. 41 00:03:36,463 --> 00:03:38,165 Good afternoon. Yes. Uh... 42 00:03:39,599 --> 00:03:41,201 My hand. I need my hand. 43 00:03:47,574 --> 00:03:49,476 "Mr. Paul Bratter." Yes. 44 00:03:49,509 --> 00:03:50,949 And is Mrs. Bratter staying with you? 45 00:03:52,679 --> 00:03:54,014 My mother? 46 00:03:54,047 --> 00:03:56,917 Uh, oh! Mrs. Bratter, yes. 47 00:03:56,950 --> 00:03:59,119 Mr. and Mrs. Bratter. (RINGING BELL) 48 00:03:59,152 --> 00:04:01,454 How long will you be staying with us, Mr. Bratter? 49 00:04:01,488 --> 00:04:02,589 Six days. 50 00:04:02,622 --> 00:04:04,257 And nights. 51 00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:05,993 It's a pleasure to have you at The Plaza. 52 00:04:06,026 --> 00:04:07,026 449. 53 00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:25,345 (LAUGHING) Come on... 54 00:04:25,378 --> 00:04:26,947 Corie, let's stop, huh? 55 00:04:30,683 --> 00:04:31,885 This way, please. 56 00:04:31,919 --> 00:04:34,121 Oh, ex...excuse me. Excuse us, please. 57 00:04:34,154 --> 00:04:37,090 Mr. Adams, I hope you realize I'm only 15 years old. 58 00:04:38,792 --> 00:04:40,560 Thanks. Thanks a lot. 59 00:04:40,593 --> 00:04:43,330 Well, they're so stuffy around here. 60 00:04:43,363 --> 00:04:44,740 Is... Is this what life is going to be like 61 00:04:44,764 --> 00:04:46,934 for the next 50 years? 62 00:04:46,967 --> 00:04:49,302 Is that all we're going to be married, 50 years? 63 00:04:49,336 --> 00:04:50,437 That's not very long. 64 00:04:50,470 --> 00:04:53,440 No, wait. Don't make rash judgments. 65 00:04:53,473 --> 00:04:55,809 Paul, I think I'm going to be a lousy wife. 66 00:04:55,843 --> 00:04:57,610 But don't be angry with me. 67 00:04:57,644 --> 00:04:59,646 I love you very much, 68 00:04:59,679 --> 00:05:01,481 and I'm very sexy. 69 00:05:01,514 --> 00:05:02,782 Then let's go inside. 70 00:05:02,816 --> 00:05:05,252 I'm paying $30 a day. 71 00:05:05,285 --> 00:05:07,520 Okay, Paul, let's start the marriage. 72 00:05:08,188 --> 00:05:09,489 Good luck, Paul. 73 00:05:10,357 --> 00:05:11,859 Good luck, Corie. 74 00:05:38,285 --> 00:05:39,887 Forget it. They're never coming out. 75 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:40,787 How long has it been now? 76 00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:42,189 Five days. 77 00:05:42,222 --> 00:05:44,191 (WHISTLES) That must be a hotel record. 78 00:05:44,224 --> 00:05:45,825 For a political convention. 79 00:05:45,859 --> 00:05:47,928 A honeymoon record is nine days. 80 00:05:59,006 --> 00:06:01,841 Wait a minute, Paul! Where are you going? 81 00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:03,810 Work. I have to go to work. 82 00:06:03,843 --> 00:06:05,254 I don't do this for a living, you know. 83 00:06:05,278 --> 00:06:07,056 Can't you call them and tell them you can't come in today? 84 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,348 Tell them you're sick. 85 00:06:08,381 --> 00:06:09,883 I am sick, but I have to go in today. 86 00:06:09,917 --> 00:06:11,627 Last night you promised you'd never leave me. 87 00:06:11,651 --> 00:06:14,487 But it's just till 5:30. Just until 5:30. 88 00:06:14,521 --> 00:06:17,457 Corie, if it's a good marriage, it'll last until 5:30. 89 00:06:18,691 --> 00:06:20,193 See you. Tonight, hey? 90 00:06:23,363 --> 00:06:24,697 What was that? 91 00:06:24,731 --> 00:06:25,865 A kiss? 92 00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:28,980 Dear, would you get inside? This is a nice hotel. 93 00:06:29,436 --> 00:06:31,671 Was that a kiss? 94 00:06:31,704 --> 00:06:33,782 'Cause, boy, if that's what kisses are going to be like from now on, 95 00:06:33,806 --> 00:06:35,742 don't bother to come back at 5:30. 96 00:06:35,775 --> 00:06:37,610 Corie, I can't kiss you anymore. 97 00:06:37,644 --> 00:06:39,925 My lips are numb. Now will you (WHISPERS) please go inside? 98 00:06:40,013 --> 00:06:42,215 If you don't give me a real kiss, 99 00:06:43,917 --> 00:06:44,928 I'm going to give you back your pajamas. 100 00:06:44,952 --> 00:06:46,019 Right now. 101 00:06:47,087 --> 00:06:48,297 No, wait... (BRIEFCASE THUDDING) 102 00:06:48,321 --> 00:06:49,489 What? Wait! 103 00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,469 Couldn't you make it 4:30? 104 00:07:02,502 --> 00:07:04,204 (CLEARS THROAT) Oh! 105 00:07:04,237 --> 00:07:05,438 Tonight. 106 00:07:05,472 --> 00:07:06,873 At the new apartment. 107 00:07:06,906 --> 00:07:08,675 Okay, it's 49 West 10th street. (SIGHS) 108 00:07:08,708 --> 00:07:10,177 I love you! Yeah. Uh. 109 00:07:22,222 --> 00:07:23,222 Thank you, Mr. Dooley. 110 00:07:25,858 --> 00:07:28,228 Next time you're in New York, just call me up. 111 00:09:56,109 --> 00:09:57,277 (SIGHS) 112 00:10:26,739 --> 00:10:27,907 (SIGHS) 113 00:10:27,940 --> 00:10:29,442 (DOORBELL BUZZES) 114 00:10:31,578 --> 00:10:32,745 (BUZZING) 115 00:10:36,483 --> 00:10:37,483 Hello? 116 00:10:38,951 --> 00:10:39,951 Bratter? 117 00:10:40,687 --> 00:10:42,322 Up here, top floor! 118 00:10:44,023 --> 00:10:45,358 Top floor. 119 00:10:46,058 --> 00:10:47,927 Take your time! (ECHOING) 120 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,162 Yeah. 121 00:10:51,864 --> 00:10:53,166 Top floor. 122 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,467 It's always the top floor. 123 00:11:30,937 --> 00:11:32,171 (PANTING) 124 00:11:33,206 --> 00:11:35,242 Whatever happened to elevators? 125 00:11:37,277 --> 00:11:40,413 Let's see. The bed is six feet long 126 00:11:40,447 --> 00:11:43,015 and the room is five-and-a-half feet 127 00:11:43,049 --> 00:11:44,451 and I'm in big trouble. 128 00:11:44,484 --> 00:11:45,585 (PANTING) 129 00:11:58,465 --> 00:11:59,465 (BREATHLESSLY) Teleph... 130 00:12:01,601 --> 00:12:02,802 Hi. Teleph... 131 00:12:04,271 --> 00:12:05,438 Telephone company. 132 00:12:05,472 --> 00:12:06,706 The phone? Yeah. 133 00:12:06,739 --> 00:12:08,207 Oh, great! Come on in. 134 00:12:08,241 --> 00:12:09,509 That's... 135 00:12:10,042 --> 00:12:12,011 That's quite a climb. 136 00:12:12,044 --> 00:12:14,614 Yes. Five flights, if you don't count the front stoop. 137 00:12:14,647 --> 00:12:16,749 Yeah, I counted the front stoop. 138 00:12:18,285 --> 00:12:20,019 Uh, would you like a glass of water? 139 00:12:20,052 --> 00:12:22,221 Please. 140 00:12:22,255 --> 00:12:24,624 I'd offer you soda or a beer or something, 141 00:12:24,657 --> 00:12:25,958 but we don't have anything yet. 142 00:12:25,992 --> 00:12:27,694 A glass of water's fine. 143 00:12:28,761 --> 00:12:30,138 Except we don't have any glasses either. 144 00:12:30,162 --> 00:12:31,298 Oh. 145 00:12:32,098 --> 00:12:33,833 You could, uh... 146 00:12:33,866 --> 00:12:35,666 You could put your head under and just schlurp. 147 00:12:36,336 --> 00:12:39,071 Oh, no, I don't have enough breath to slurp. 148 00:12:39,105 --> 00:12:40,307 Well... 149 00:12:42,942 --> 00:12:44,142 Where would you like the phone? 150 00:12:45,345 --> 00:12:46,679 Gee, uh... 151 00:12:47,847 --> 00:12:49,048 I don't know. 152 00:12:49,081 --> 00:12:50,650 Any suggestions? 153 00:12:50,683 --> 00:12:52,795 Well, it all depends on what you're going to do with the room. 154 00:12:52,819 --> 00:12:54,354 Yeah. 155 00:12:54,387 --> 00:12:56,489 You going to have furniture in here? (CHUCKLES) 156 00:12:57,624 --> 00:12:58,625 Sure. 157 00:12:59,592 --> 00:13:03,162 Listen, you can give me a long extension cord, 158 00:13:03,195 --> 00:13:05,374 and I'll carry it around with me for the first few years. 159 00:13:05,398 --> 00:13:07,600 Good. I'll use the old connection. 160 00:13:10,136 --> 00:13:11,671 Whew! Boy! 161 00:13:13,373 --> 00:13:15,308 You're really going to live up here, huh? 162 00:13:15,342 --> 00:13:16,343 I mean every day. 163 00:13:16,976 --> 00:13:18,044 Every day. 164 00:13:18,077 --> 00:13:20,480 (DOORBELL RINGS) 165 00:13:20,513 --> 00:13:22,815 I hope that's the men with the furniture. 166 00:13:24,917 --> 00:13:25,917 I don't want to see this. 167 00:13:27,354 --> 00:13:28,988 Hello, Bloomingdale's! 168 00:13:30,122 --> 00:13:31,122 Lord & Taylor's. 169 00:13:31,558 --> 00:13:32,925 Oh. 170 00:13:32,959 --> 00:13:34,661 Up here, top floor! 171 00:13:36,596 --> 00:13:37,764 Oh, my God. 172 00:13:42,535 --> 00:13:44,871 It's probably another wedding gift from my mother. 173 00:13:44,904 --> 00:13:47,173 She sends me wedding gifts twice a day. 174 00:13:47,206 --> 00:13:48,641 I hope it's an electric heater. 175 00:13:49,376 --> 00:13:51,478 Is it cold in here? 176 00:13:51,511 --> 00:13:53,680 I can't grip the phone. Maybe the steam is off. 177 00:13:55,314 --> 00:13:56,816 Maybe that's it. 178 00:13:56,849 --> 00:13:59,085 Just turn it on. It'll come right up. 179 00:14:04,824 --> 00:14:05,925 It is on. 180 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:08,728 It's just not coming up. 181 00:14:08,761 --> 00:14:09,761 Oh. 182 00:14:10,697 --> 00:14:12,465 Your husband have a lot of sweaters? 183 00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:16,168 You know, I prefer it this way. 184 00:14:16,202 --> 00:14:18,146 Yeah, it's a medical fact that steam heat's bad for you. 185 00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:19,706 Yeah? In February? 186 00:14:20,607 --> 00:14:21,708 (PANTING) 187 00:14:26,579 --> 00:14:28,014 Just put them down anywhere. 188 00:14:28,047 --> 00:14:29,416 (WHEEZING) 189 00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:31,984 I know. I know. 190 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,955 Oh, I'm... I'm terribly sorry about the stairs. 191 00:14:37,189 --> 00:14:38,558 (WHEEZING) 192 00:14:41,794 --> 00:14:43,463 I think he wants you to sign it. 193 00:14:44,764 --> 00:14:45,764 Oh. 194 00:14:52,038 --> 00:14:53,573 Oh, wait a minute. 195 00:14:54,073 --> 00:14:55,073 (WHEEZING) 196 00:14:59,879 --> 00:15:01,914 There you are. 197 00:15:01,948 --> 00:15:03,983 Are you going to be all right? 198 00:15:04,016 --> 00:15:05,084 (WHEEZES) 199 00:15:13,225 --> 00:15:15,428 That's a shame, giving a job like that to an old man. 200 00:15:15,462 --> 00:15:17,129 He's probably only 25. 201 00:15:17,163 --> 00:15:19,298 They age fast on this route. 202 00:15:19,331 --> 00:15:21,133 Okay, lady, you're in business. 203 00:15:25,204 --> 00:15:26,606 My own phone. 204 00:15:27,306 --> 00:15:28,475 Hey, can I make a call yet? 205 00:15:28,508 --> 00:15:30,109 Well, your bill started two minutes ago. 206 00:15:30,142 --> 00:15:31,310 Who can I call? 207 00:15:31,343 --> 00:15:32,712 Yeah, I know. 208 00:15:33,646 --> 00:15:35,982 Oh, by the way, my name is Harry Pepper. 209 00:15:36,015 --> 00:15:37,560 If you ever have any trouble with that phone, 210 00:15:37,584 --> 00:15:39,886 do me a favor, don't ask for Harry Pepper. 211 00:15:43,155 --> 00:15:44,557 What's the matter, bad news? 212 00:15:44,591 --> 00:15:47,560 It is going to be cloudy tonight with a light snow. 213 00:15:47,594 --> 00:15:50,194 And just think, you'll be the first one in the city to see it fall. 214 00:16:09,516 --> 00:16:11,183 (POLICE WHISTLE BLOWS) 215 00:16:40,913 --> 00:16:43,516 Hello, is Mr. Paul Bratter there, please? 216 00:16:43,550 --> 00:16:45,417 This is Mrs. Paul Bratter calling. 217 00:16:45,451 --> 00:16:47,754 This is terrific. It works just great. 218 00:16:47,787 --> 00:16:49,107 Yeah, just like a real phone, huh? 219 00:16:50,990 --> 00:16:53,159 Frank, is Paul there? 220 00:16:53,793 --> 00:16:55,161 Hi, Corie. 221 00:16:55,194 --> 00:16:58,397 He left about 20 minutes ago and looked very tired. 222 00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:00,408 Hey, tell him to call me as soon as he gets in, will you? 223 00:17:00,432 --> 00:17:03,112 I've got great news for him if he can stand a little more excitement. 224 00:17:03,435 --> 00:17:04,904 No kidding, Frank. What is it? 225 00:17:04,937 --> 00:17:07,774 (DOORBELL RINGS) 226 00:17:07,807 --> 00:17:11,844 Frank, listen, can you hang on a minute? That... That may be him now. 227 00:17:11,878 --> 00:17:14,847 Oh! I didn't want him to come till after the furniture had arrived. 228 00:17:18,050 --> 00:17:19,050 Paul? 229 00:17:20,419 --> 00:17:21,988 Corie? Where are you? 230 00:17:22,321 --> 00:17:23,522 Paul? 231 00:17:23,990 --> 00:17:25,091 Up here! 232 00:17:28,327 --> 00:17:29,327 Oh. 233 00:17:41,841 --> 00:17:44,010 Paul, up here, top floor! 234 00:17:45,277 --> 00:17:46,312 (PANTING) 235 00:17:49,081 --> 00:17:50,282 Oh, it's him! 236 00:17:54,587 --> 00:17:55,864 How long did you say you were married? 237 00:17:55,888 --> 00:17:56,956 Six days. 238 00:17:59,158 --> 00:18:01,761 He won't notice the place is empty till June. 239 00:18:01,794 --> 00:18:05,164 So long, Gramercy 59971. Have a nice marriage. 240 00:18:05,197 --> 00:18:06,432 Oh. Thank you. 241 00:18:06,465 --> 00:18:08,768 And may you soon have many extensions. 242 00:18:12,304 --> 00:18:13,539 Frank, he's on his way up. 243 00:18:13,572 --> 00:18:15,307 Can you hang on for five more flights? 244 00:18:16,142 --> 00:18:17,142 Paul? 245 00:18:18,144 --> 00:18:19,679 Hurry up, darling! 246 00:18:21,547 --> 00:18:23,816 Now, don't expect too much, 247 00:18:24,917 --> 00:18:28,187 'cause the furniture hasn't gotten here yet! 248 00:18:28,220 --> 00:18:31,323 And, Paul, the paint didn't turn out exactly right, 249 00:18:32,759 --> 00:18:35,094 but I think it's going to be beautiful! 250 00:18:38,164 --> 00:18:39,164 Paul? 251 00:18:40,466 --> 00:18:42,635 Paul, are you all right? 252 00:18:42,669 --> 00:18:44,303 (PANTING) I'm coming. I'm coming. 253 00:18:44,336 --> 00:18:45,672 What? 254 00:18:45,705 --> 00:18:47,339 He's coming. He's coming. 255 00:18:53,312 --> 00:18:55,014 He's coming. He's coming. 256 00:19:11,463 --> 00:19:12,765 (GRUNTS) 257 00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:15,401 Hi, sweetheart! 258 00:19:15,434 --> 00:19:16,703 (PANTING) 259 00:19:17,303 --> 00:19:18,303 Oh, darling! 260 00:19:20,039 --> 00:19:21,640 (GASPING) (MOANS) 261 00:19:23,843 --> 00:19:25,845 Oh! Say something. 262 00:19:25,878 --> 00:19:29,148 (GASPING) It's six... It's six flights. Did you... 263 00:19:32,184 --> 00:19:33,920 Did you know it's six flights? 264 00:19:33,953 --> 00:19:35,988 Well, it isn't. It's only five. 265 00:19:36,622 --> 00:19:37,724 What about that big thing 266 00:19:37,757 --> 00:19:39,792 hanging outside the building? 267 00:19:39,826 --> 00:19:41,928 That's not a flight. It's a stoop. 268 00:19:42,762 --> 00:19:44,463 It may look like a stoop. 269 00:19:44,496 --> 00:19:46,132 But it climbs like a flight. 270 00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:50,202 Is that all you have to say? 271 00:19:50,236 --> 00:19:52,204 I didn't think I'd get that much out. 272 00:19:52,238 --> 00:19:53,238 Oh. 273 00:19:55,474 --> 00:19:56,943 But it didn't... 274 00:19:58,077 --> 00:19:59,846 It didn't seem like six flights 275 00:19:59,879 --> 00:20:00,780 when I first saw the apartment. 276 00:20:00,813 --> 00:20:03,115 Why... Why is that? 277 00:20:03,149 --> 00:20:04,683 You didn't see this apartment, Paul. 278 00:20:04,717 --> 00:20:06,753 Don't you remember? The woman wasn't home. 279 00:20:06,786 --> 00:20:09,155 You... You saw the apartment on the third floor. 280 00:20:09,188 --> 00:20:10,322 Then that's why. 281 00:20:10,356 --> 00:20:11,824 You don't like it! No, I... 282 00:20:11,858 --> 00:20:14,426 Boy, you really don't like it! I do like it, dear. 283 00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:16,138 I'm just waiting for my eyes to clear first. 284 00:20:16,162 --> 00:20:18,931 I... I thought you were gonna come in here and say, "Wow!" 285 00:20:18,965 --> 00:20:20,432 I will. 286 00:20:20,466 --> 00:20:21,934 I will. I'm just... 287 00:20:23,069 --> 00:20:24,069 Yes. 288 00:20:38,484 --> 00:20:39,484 Wow. 289 00:20:40,652 --> 00:20:42,721 Paul, it's going to be beautiful! 290 00:20:43,589 --> 00:20:44,991 I promise you! 291 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,361 Do you know what? What? 292 00:20:49,395 --> 00:20:51,697 I missed you. Did you really? 293 00:20:51,730 --> 00:20:53,108 In the middle of the Monday morning conference, 294 00:20:53,132 --> 00:20:55,267 I, you know... I began to... 295 00:20:59,505 --> 00:21:00,973 Let's go back to The Plaza. What? 296 00:21:01,007 --> 00:21:02,741 Oh, we still have an hour till checkout time. 297 00:21:02,775 --> 00:21:04,276 We can't. Why? 298 00:21:04,310 --> 00:21:07,013 We stole a towel and three ashtrays. We're hot. 299 00:21:19,458 --> 00:21:22,328 You know, for... For a lawyer, you're some good kisser. 300 00:21:23,629 --> 00:21:24,831 Hey! 301 00:21:25,597 --> 00:21:26,966 What? 302 00:21:26,999 --> 00:21:29,068 For a kisser, I'm some good lawyer. 303 00:21:29,101 --> 00:21:30,903 Something's happened. Mmm-hmm. 304 00:21:30,937 --> 00:21:33,705 Something has happened, Paul! Well, tell me what? 305 00:21:33,739 --> 00:21:36,242 It's not positive, but the office is gonna call and let me know. 306 00:21:36,275 --> 00:21:38,577 They called. I mean, I called. 307 00:21:38,610 --> 00:21:39,912 When? Now. 308 00:21:39,946 --> 00:21:42,081 Where? Where? Over there. Over there. 309 00:21:42,114 --> 00:21:43,725 Right over there. They're on the phone, right now. 310 00:21:43,749 --> 00:21:45,852 You didn't tell me, Corie. I forgot. 311 00:21:45,885 --> 00:21:47,486 You kissed me and got me all crazy. 312 00:21:47,519 --> 00:21:49,822 Frank. Yes, Frank. Tell... 313 00:21:53,225 --> 00:21:55,794 That's very funny, Frank. 314 00:21:55,828 --> 00:21:58,130 For a lawyer, I'm some good kisser. 315 00:21:58,164 --> 00:22:00,108 Listen. Paul, I'd love to listen for the rest of the night, 316 00:22:00,132 --> 00:22:02,234 but I've got work to do, and you do, too. 317 00:22:02,268 --> 00:22:03,748 You've a got a case in court tomorrow. 318 00:22:05,437 --> 00:22:07,306 Frank, are you kidding? 319 00:22:07,339 --> 00:22:09,508 Do you mean this? The whole thing? 320 00:22:10,076 --> 00:22:11,911 Birnbaum versus Gump. 321 00:22:11,944 --> 00:22:13,455 Marshall just came in and dumped the whole case 322 00:22:13,479 --> 00:22:15,814 in our eager, and inexperienced little hands. 323 00:22:15,848 --> 00:22:19,351 This is it, Paul. This is our chance to get the key to the executive washroom. 324 00:22:19,385 --> 00:22:21,153 Well, we're a cinch. Listen, Frank, 325 00:22:21,187 --> 00:22:23,589 I'll go over the briefs here tonight. 326 00:22:23,622 --> 00:22:25,267 And I'll meet you at the office, say, 8:00 in the morning. 327 00:22:25,291 --> 00:22:26,926 We'll go over everything together. 328 00:22:26,959 --> 00:22:29,896 Yes... Frank, you think I have time to grow a mustache? 329 00:22:31,097 --> 00:22:34,500 Did you hear? Did you hear? It's my first case! 330 00:22:34,533 --> 00:22:35,902 I'm going to be a lawyer! 331 00:22:35,935 --> 00:22:37,536 That's great, Paul. 332 00:22:42,975 --> 00:22:44,119 You're going to have to work tonight? 333 00:22:44,143 --> 00:22:45,653 Yeah. I'm going to go over the affidavits. 334 00:22:45,677 --> 00:22:47,846 This furrier's suing a woman for nonpayment of bills. 335 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,181 I've got the furrier. 336 00:22:49,215 --> 00:22:50,582 I have a black lace nightgown. 337 00:22:50,616 --> 00:22:52,294 It seems he made these four specially tailored coats 338 00:22:52,318 --> 00:22:54,186 for this woman on Park Avenue. 339 00:22:54,220 --> 00:22:56,422 Now she doesn't want the coats. 340 00:22:56,455 --> 00:22:59,191 She's only 4'8". He'd have to sell them to a rich midget. 341 00:22:59,225 --> 00:23:01,193 You know, I thought I'd... I'd put on a record 342 00:23:01,227 --> 00:23:03,362 and do an original Cambodian fertility dance. 343 00:23:03,395 --> 00:23:04,696 It's... 344 00:23:04,730 --> 00:23:06,332 There's no signed contract. 345 00:23:06,365 --> 00:23:09,168 What's happening here? What is this? What are you doing? 346 00:23:09,201 --> 00:23:10,845 I'm trying to get you all hot and bothered, 347 00:23:10,869 --> 00:23:13,105 and you're...summing up for the jury! 348 00:23:14,273 --> 00:23:15,607 I mean, the whole marriage is over. 349 00:23:15,641 --> 00:23:17,309 Corie, honey, I'm sorry. 350 00:23:18,177 --> 00:23:20,012 I guess I'm excited, that's all. 351 00:23:20,046 --> 00:23:21,789 You want me to be rich and famous, now, don't you, really? 352 00:23:21,813 --> 00:23:23,282 During the day. 353 00:23:23,315 --> 00:23:24,716 At night I want you here and sexy. 354 00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:27,119 Oh, I will. 355 00:23:27,153 --> 00:23:29,064 Look, I tell you what, now tomorrow night, your night. 356 00:23:29,088 --> 00:23:30,532 We'll do whatever you like, all right? 357 00:23:30,556 --> 00:23:32,424 Something wild, and crazy, and insane? 358 00:23:32,458 --> 00:23:33,892 Fine. Like what? 359 00:23:34,593 --> 00:23:35,694 I... I'll come home early. 360 00:23:35,727 --> 00:23:37,229 We'll wallpaper each other. 361 00:23:37,263 --> 00:23:39,231 But tonight, dear, I've got to work. 362 00:23:39,265 --> 00:23:40,466 Please, okay? 363 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,634 Okay? Okay. Okay. 364 00:23:43,735 --> 00:23:46,005 So where do I sit? 365 00:23:46,038 --> 00:23:47,882 Oh, the furniture will be here in a minute, Paul. 366 00:23:47,906 --> 00:23:49,084 They probably got stuck in the traffic. 367 00:23:49,108 --> 00:23:50,242 Fine, but what about tonight? 368 00:23:50,276 --> 00:23:52,278 I've got a case in court in the morning. 369 00:23:52,311 --> 00:23:54,981 Maybe we ought to check into a hotel. 370 00:23:55,014 --> 00:23:58,317 Paul, we just checked out of a hotel! (SIGHS) 371 00:23:58,350 --> 00:23:59,861 I'm gonna sleep in my own apartment tonight. 372 00:23:59,885 --> 00:24:02,288 Where, dear, where? 373 00:24:02,321 --> 00:24:04,656 There's only room for one in the bathtub. 374 00:24:11,563 --> 00:24:12,731 Where's the bathtub? 375 00:24:12,764 --> 00:24:14,933 There's no bathtub. There's a shower. No bathtub. 376 00:24:14,967 --> 00:24:16,368 How am I going to take a bath? 377 00:24:16,402 --> 00:24:17,946 You're not gonna take a bath. You'll take a shower. 378 00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:19,381 I don't like showers, Corie. I like baths. 379 00:24:19,405 --> 00:24:21,673 How am I gonna take a bath? 380 00:24:21,707 --> 00:24:24,476 You lie down in the shower and hang your feet over the sink. 381 00:24:24,510 --> 00:24:25,544 (SCOFFS) 382 00:24:27,446 --> 00:24:29,581 You know, it's freezing in here. 383 00:24:29,615 --> 00:24:31,217 Isn't there any heat? Hmm? 384 00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:33,319 Of course. There's a radiator. 385 00:24:42,894 --> 00:24:45,831 That's... The radiator's the coldest thing in the room. 386 00:24:45,864 --> 00:24:47,399 Does the building have a janitor? 387 00:24:47,433 --> 00:24:49,301 Only Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 388 00:24:51,670 --> 00:24:54,406 Oh, Paul, it's going to warm up a lot when the furniture gets here. 389 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,019 What about tonight, Corie? I've got a case in court in the morning. 390 00:24:57,043 --> 00:24:59,203 Well, stop saying it like you have a case every morning! 391 00:24:59,678 --> 00:25:01,280 This is your first one. 392 00:25:01,313 --> 00:25:02,514 Well, how... 393 00:25:07,886 --> 00:25:09,321 What are you doing? 394 00:25:09,355 --> 00:25:11,523 I'm trying to see if these windows are closed. 395 00:25:11,557 --> 00:25:13,525 They're closed and bolted. Why is it windy in here? 396 00:25:13,559 --> 00:25:14,860 I don't feel a draft. 397 00:25:14,893 --> 00:25:16,762 No, I didn't say draft, I said wind. 398 00:25:16,795 --> 00:25:18,906 There's a brisk northeasterly wind blowing in this room. 399 00:25:18,930 --> 00:25:20,432 You don't have to get sarcastic. 400 00:25:20,466 --> 00:25:23,069 I'm not getting sarcastic. I'm getting chapped lips. 401 00:25:23,102 --> 00:25:25,204 How can there be wind in a closed room? A-ha! 402 00:25:26,305 --> 00:25:27,473 How's this for an answer? 403 00:25:27,506 --> 00:25:29,208 There's a hole in the skylight. 404 00:25:31,743 --> 00:25:33,011 Oh, Paul. 405 00:25:34,746 --> 00:25:36,482 Paul, don't get excited. 406 00:25:36,515 --> 00:25:38,317 Listen, we'll plug it up for tonight. 407 00:25:38,350 --> 00:25:40,952 How? How? That's 20 feet high! 408 00:25:40,986 --> 00:25:43,422 I should have to fly over in a plane and drop something in. 409 00:25:43,455 --> 00:25:45,335 It's only for one night. And it's not that cold. 410 00:25:45,891 --> 00:25:47,426 In February? 411 00:25:47,459 --> 00:25:49,104 Do you know what it's like in February at 3:00 in the morning? 412 00:25:49,128 --> 00:25:50,962 It's ice-cold freezing. 413 00:25:50,996 --> 00:25:52,707 It's not going to be freezing. I called the weather bureau. 414 00:25:52,731 --> 00:25:55,101 It's going to be cloudy with a light snow... 415 00:26:00,706 --> 00:26:01,973 What? What? What? 416 00:26:02,007 --> 00:26:03,409 Light what? Snow. 417 00:26:04,476 --> 00:26:05,476 Snow? 418 00:26:06,345 --> 00:26:08,380 It's going to snow tonight? Hmm? 419 00:26:08,847 --> 00:26:10,382 In here? 420 00:26:10,416 --> 00:26:12,194 They're wrong as often as they're right. Right. (CHUCKLES) 421 00:26:12,218 --> 00:26:15,354 I see, I'm going to be shoveling snow in my own living room. 422 00:26:15,387 --> 00:26:18,690 Well, in the first place, Paul, it's just a little hole. 423 00:26:18,724 --> 00:26:20,402 And in the second place, what do you want me to do? 424 00:26:20,426 --> 00:26:22,294 Go to pieces! Like me. 425 00:26:23,061 --> 00:26:24,463 It's natural. 426 00:26:24,496 --> 00:26:25,697 Paul. Hmm? 427 00:26:26,832 --> 00:26:28,434 I have a better idea. 428 00:26:33,339 --> 00:26:35,907 I'm going to keep you warm. Hmm? 429 00:26:35,941 --> 00:26:37,676 And there's no charge for electricity. 430 00:26:37,709 --> 00:26:38,709 All right. 431 00:26:44,616 --> 00:26:46,152 Corie, I can't do this. 432 00:26:56,295 --> 00:26:57,896 Do you think Corie'd be upset 433 00:26:57,929 --> 00:26:59,898 if I just popped up and said hello? 434 00:26:59,931 --> 00:27:01,733 Upset with her own mother? Why? 435 00:27:02,368 --> 00:27:04,035 I do it all the time. 436 00:27:04,069 --> 00:27:05,547 But the children are hardly set up yet. 437 00:27:05,571 --> 00:27:07,573 They're still practically on their honeymoon. 438 00:27:07,606 --> 00:27:10,609 Oh, she's probably dying for your advice. You know young brides. 439 00:27:10,642 --> 00:27:12,844 Not Corie. She gives her own advice. 440 00:27:14,079 --> 00:27:15,681 All right, let's go home. 441 00:27:15,714 --> 00:27:17,483 I'll just be 10 minutes. 442 00:27:17,516 --> 00:27:19,318 Uh, no longer. I'll be circling the block. 443 00:27:29,761 --> 00:27:32,898 I can see I haven't got much of a law career ahead of me. 444 00:27:32,931 --> 00:27:34,900 Good. I hope we starve. 445 00:27:36,235 --> 00:27:38,770 I hope they find us dead in each other's arms. 446 00:27:38,804 --> 00:27:41,473 "Frozen skinny lovers found on 10th Street." 447 00:27:48,380 --> 00:27:49,881 Then we are in love again? 448 00:27:49,915 --> 00:27:50,915 Yes, we're in love again. 449 00:27:54,019 --> 00:27:55,487 (DOORBELL RINGS) 450 00:27:56,087 --> 00:27:57,523 It's the bed. 451 00:27:58,690 --> 00:28:00,192 (WHISPERS) It's the bed. Yes. 452 00:28:05,364 --> 00:28:06,498 I hope it's the bed. 453 00:28:08,267 --> 00:28:09,368 Bloomingdale's? 454 00:28:10,101 --> 00:28:12,204 Surprise! 455 00:28:12,238 --> 00:28:14,005 Oh, no. She couldn't wait. What? 456 00:28:14,039 --> 00:28:16,141 Your mother? I invited her for Tuesday. 457 00:28:16,174 --> 00:28:17,552 Corie, I can't entertain your mother now. 458 00:28:17,576 --> 00:28:19,136 I've got a case in court in the morning. 459 00:28:25,150 --> 00:28:26,852 She's gonna hate it. 460 00:28:26,885 --> 00:28:29,788 She's going to think we're gypsies living in an empty store. 461 00:28:29,821 --> 00:28:32,166 I don't get you, Corie. Five minutes ago, this place was paradise. 462 00:28:32,190 --> 00:28:34,426 Now suddenly, it's Cannery Row. 463 00:28:34,460 --> 00:28:36,127 She doesn't understand, Paul. 464 00:28:36,161 --> 00:28:37,529 She has a different set of values. 465 00:28:37,563 --> 00:28:39,565 She's practical, not young like us. 466 00:28:39,598 --> 00:28:41,633 Well, I'm 26 and cold as hell. 467 00:28:42,234 --> 00:28:43,535 (PANTING) 468 00:28:44,736 --> 00:28:45,837 (CLANGING) 469 00:28:52,944 --> 00:28:54,246 Oh, sorry. 470 00:29:00,886 --> 00:29:03,054 Paul. I want you to promise me one thing. What? 471 00:29:03,088 --> 00:29:04,923 Don't tell her about the rent. All right. 472 00:29:04,956 --> 00:29:07,025 If she asks you, tell her you're not sure yet. 473 00:29:07,058 --> 00:29:08,527 "Not sure yet"? 474 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:10,896 I have to know what my rent is. I'm a college graduate. 475 00:29:10,929 --> 00:29:12,498 Can't you lie a little for me? 476 00:29:12,531 --> 00:29:14,566 I mean, you don't have to tell her it's $125. 477 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,302 Well, all right. How much is it, then? 478 00:29:16,335 --> 00:29:17,736 $60. (STUTTERS) 479 00:29:17,769 --> 00:29:19,338 $65. What? 480 00:29:19,371 --> 00:29:21,373 $75, all right? 481 00:29:21,407 --> 00:29:23,675 $75.63 a month. All right, Corie. 482 00:29:23,709 --> 00:29:25,677 Including gas and electricity. Yes. 483 00:29:25,711 --> 00:29:26,978 Paul, will she believe that? 484 00:29:27,012 --> 00:29:28,414 Anybody would believe that. 485 00:29:28,447 --> 00:29:30,148 It's the $125 that's hard to swallow. 486 00:29:30,181 --> 00:29:31,583 (PHONE RINGS) 487 00:29:35,854 --> 00:29:36,988 Yes? Hello. 488 00:29:37,956 --> 00:29:39,291 Yes, it is. 489 00:29:40,692 --> 00:29:41,760 You what? 490 00:29:43,161 --> 00:29:45,130 Thank you. Thank you very much for calling. 491 00:29:45,163 --> 00:29:46,565 That's fine. That's just great. 492 00:29:46,598 --> 00:29:48,233 The furniture's not coming till tomorrow. 493 00:29:48,266 --> 00:29:50,445 But they're sending up a mattress and some blankets for tonight. 494 00:29:50,469 --> 00:29:52,338 Won't that be cozy? It'll be all right, Paul. 495 00:29:52,371 --> 00:29:54,272 Just please promise me one thing, 496 00:29:54,306 --> 00:29:55,817 don't let her stay here too long because I've got... 497 00:29:55,841 --> 00:29:58,477 A case in court in the morning. I know. 498 00:29:58,510 --> 00:30:00,346 (PANTING) Hello, Mother. 499 00:30:01,146 --> 00:30:03,515 Hello, Mom. I can't breathe. 500 00:30:03,549 --> 00:30:05,717 Take it easy, Mother. I can't catch my breath. 501 00:30:05,751 --> 00:30:07,218 You should have rested, Mom. 502 00:30:07,252 --> 00:30:09,855 I did, but there were always more stairs. 503 00:30:09,888 --> 00:30:11,156 Oh, Paul, help her. 504 00:30:11,189 --> 00:30:12,290 Here, watch this step. 505 00:30:12,324 --> 00:30:13,759 Oh, more stairs? 506 00:30:16,862 --> 00:30:18,373 Mother, would you like a glass of water? 507 00:30:18,397 --> 00:30:21,166 No, thank you, dear. I can't swallow yet. 508 00:30:21,199 --> 00:30:22,768 Here, sit down, Mom. Oh, my! 509 00:30:25,937 --> 00:30:27,473 It's not that high, Mother. 510 00:30:27,506 --> 00:30:29,775 I know dear, it's not bad, really. 511 00:30:29,808 --> 00:30:31,943 What is it, nine flights? 512 00:30:31,977 --> 00:30:33,579 It's five. We don't count the front stoop. 513 00:30:33,612 --> 00:30:35,747 I didn't think I'd make it. 514 00:30:35,781 --> 00:30:37,224 If I had known the people on the third floor, 515 00:30:37,248 --> 00:30:39,017 I'd have gone to visit them. 516 00:30:40,352 --> 00:30:42,888 Oh, gee, Mother, what a pleasant surprise. 517 00:30:42,921 --> 00:30:44,590 I'm not staying. 518 00:30:44,623 --> 00:30:46,892 Aunt Harriet's honking the horn for me in 10 minutes. 519 00:30:46,925 --> 00:30:49,961 Just one good look around, that's all. 520 00:30:49,995 --> 00:30:52,431 I'm not sure I'm coming back. 521 00:30:52,464 --> 00:30:54,566 You can't tell anything yet. 522 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,802 I... I wish you'd arrived after the furniture had come. 523 00:30:56,835 --> 00:30:59,538 Don't worry. I have a marvelous imagination. 524 00:31:04,843 --> 00:31:05,843 Hmm. 525 00:31:07,212 --> 00:31:08,346 Well? 526 00:31:10,281 --> 00:31:11,817 Corie, baby, it's beautiful. 527 00:31:12,183 --> 00:31:13,183 You hate it. 528 00:31:13,985 --> 00:31:16,922 No, no, I love it. It's a charming apartment. 529 00:31:17,689 --> 00:31:19,257 I love it. 530 00:31:19,290 --> 00:31:21,669 Oh, it's not your kind of apartment. I knew you wouldn't like it! 531 00:31:21,693 --> 00:31:23,194 I love it! 532 00:31:23,228 --> 00:31:25,096 Paul, didn't I say I loved it? 533 00:31:25,130 --> 00:31:27,298 She said she loved it. I knew I said it. 534 00:31:27,332 --> 00:31:28,634 Oh, do you really, Mother? 535 00:31:28,667 --> 00:31:31,136 I mean, are... Are you absolutely crazy in love with it? 536 00:31:31,169 --> 00:31:33,371 Yes. It's very cute. 537 00:31:33,405 --> 00:31:35,641 And there's so much you can do with it. 538 00:31:35,674 --> 00:31:37,643 I told you she hated it. 539 00:31:37,676 --> 00:31:39,711 Corie, you don't give a person a chance. (SIGHS) 540 00:31:39,745 --> 00:31:41,813 At least let me see the whole apartment. 541 00:31:41,847 --> 00:31:43,048 This is the whole apartment. 542 00:31:43,081 --> 00:31:44,282 It's a nice, large room. 543 00:31:44,315 --> 00:31:46,084 There's a bedroom! Where? 544 00:31:46,117 --> 00:31:47,619 One flight up. 545 00:31:47,653 --> 00:31:51,156 It's just two little steps. See, one, two...three. 546 00:31:51,189 --> 00:31:52,724 Oh, split level. 547 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,295 Where's the bedroom? Through here? 548 00:31:57,328 --> 00:32:00,198 No, in here. This is the bedroom. 549 00:32:00,231 --> 00:32:01,509 No, it's really just a dressing room, 550 00:32:01,533 --> 00:32:02,877 but I'm going to use it as a bedroom. 551 00:32:02,901 --> 00:32:04,369 Oh, that's a wonderful idea. 552 00:32:04,402 --> 00:32:06,237 And you can just put a bed in here. 553 00:32:06,271 --> 00:32:08,440 That's right. How? 554 00:32:08,474 --> 00:32:09,917 Oh, it'll fit. I... I measured the room. 555 00:32:09,941 --> 00:32:11,677 A double bed? 556 00:32:11,710 --> 00:32:14,212 No, a large single. Oh. Very nice. 557 00:32:14,245 --> 00:32:15,914 Where will Paul sleep? 558 00:32:16,548 --> 00:32:18,149 With me. Large single? 559 00:32:19,485 --> 00:32:21,419 But you won't be able to get to the closet. 560 00:32:21,453 --> 00:32:22,754 Yes, you will. 561 00:32:22,788 --> 00:32:24,823 Without climbing over the bed? 562 00:32:24,856 --> 00:32:26,233 Well, you have to climb over the bed. 563 00:32:26,257 --> 00:32:28,126 Oh! That's a good idea. 564 00:32:29,661 --> 00:32:32,097 And you can just hang your clothes from the pipe. 565 00:32:32,130 --> 00:32:33,532 That's right. 566 00:32:35,701 --> 00:32:38,103 I mean, everything is just temporary, Mother. 567 00:32:38,136 --> 00:32:39,647 What is it they say in Harper's Bazaar? 568 00:32:39,671 --> 00:32:41,106 "It won't take shape 569 00:32:41,139 --> 00:32:44,209 "until the bride's own personality becomes clearly defined." 570 00:32:44,242 --> 00:32:46,645 I don't know. I think it's you right now. 571 00:32:47,813 --> 00:32:49,080 What's in here? 572 00:32:51,282 --> 00:32:52,984 Oh, the bathroom. 573 00:32:55,353 --> 00:32:56,722 No bathtub. 574 00:32:58,089 --> 00:32:59,658 This is the kitchen! 575 00:33:00,425 --> 00:33:01,793 It's very cozy. 576 00:33:03,094 --> 00:33:05,897 It's chilly in here. Do you feel a draft? 577 00:33:05,931 --> 00:33:07,766 Here, stand over here, Mom. It's warmer. 578 00:33:07,799 --> 00:33:09,535 Mother, what you need is a drink. 579 00:33:09,568 --> 00:33:11,479 Hey, Paul, would you run down and get a bottle of scotch? 580 00:33:11,503 --> 00:33:12,838 Now? Yeah. 581 00:33:12,871 --> 00:33:15,641 Well, you certainly have lots of wall space. 582 00:33:15,674 --> 00:33:17,114 What color are you going to paint it? 583 00:33:17,275 --> 00:33:18,275 It's painted. 584 00:33:19,177 --> 00:33:20,679 Very attractive. 585 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:23,080 Oh. 586 00:33:24,149 --> 00:33:25,851 I've got to go. 587 00:33:25,884 --> 00:33:27,853 No, Mother. Not until you have a drink. 588 00:33:27,886 --> 00:33:28,896 Paul, aren't you going to get the scotch? 589 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,522 I'll stay for just one drink. 590 00:33:30,556 --> 00:33:31,790 Sure. And I'll get the Scotch. 591 00:33:31,823 --> 00:33:33,601 Button up, dear. It's cold. Yes, I've noticed that. 592 00:33:33,625 --> 00:33:34,960 Get some cheese. Cheese? 593 00:33:34,993 --> 00:33:35,993 Paul! 594 00:33:38,463 --> 00:33:39,998 I just want to give my fella a kiss 595 00:33:40,031 --> 00:33:41,499 and wish him luck. Thanks, Mom. 596 00:33:41,533 --> 00:33:43,835 Your new home is beautiful. Yes. 597 00:33:43,869 --> 00:33:45,971 It's a perfect little apartment. It is, thank you. 598 00:33:46,004 --> 00:33:47,372 Then you do like it? 599 00:33:47,405 --> 00:33:48,740 Like it? Why? 600 00:33:48,774 --> 00:33:49,984 Where else can you get anything like this 601 00:33:50,008 --> 00:33:51,777 for 75.63 a month? 602 00:33:51,810 --> 00:33:53,378 Are you sure, Paul? 603 00:33:53,411 --> 00:33:55,213 Six flights of stairs again. 604 00:33:56,481 --> 00:33:58,083 It's the only way to travel. 605 00:34:01,452 --> 00:34:02,821 Well... 606 00:34:02,854 --> 00:34:05,624 Corie, baby, I'm so excited for you. 607 00:34:05,657 --> 00:34:06,892 Mmm-hmm. (SIGHS) 608 00:34:09,127 --> 00:34:10,738 Mother, it's not exactly the way you pictured, is it? 609 00:34:10,762 --> 00:34:13,064 Well, it's unusual. 610 00:34:13,999 --> 00:34:16,101 Like you. 611 00:34:16,134 --> 00:34:17,636 I remember when you were a little girl, 612 00:34:17,669 --> 00:34:20,505 you said you wanted to live on the moon. 613 00:34:20,538 --> 00:34:22,273 I thought you were joking. 614 00:34:23,108 --> 00:34:24,576 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 615 00:34:29,214 --> 00:34:31,016 Well, drunk again, huh? 616 00:34:31,950 --> 00:34:33,885 Okay, I'll take care of him. 617 00:34:43,094 --> 00:34:45,163 I know what let's do. (CLEARS THROAT) 618 00:34:45,196 --> 00:34:47,098 Let's open my presents and see what you sent me. 619 00:34:47,132 --> 00:34:48,233 (SIGHS) 620 00:34:51,970 --> 00:34:53,404 Hey. 621 00:34:53,438 --> 00:34:56,174 What's in here? That sounds expensive. 622 00:34:56,207 --> 00:34:58,243 Now I think it's a broken clock. 623 00:35:06,417 --> 00:35:07,786 Ah! 624 00:35:07,819 --> 00:35:10,055 Aunt Harriet helped me pick it out. 625 00:35:11,857 --> 00:35:14,459 She thinks I should move into New York City now. 626 00:35:14,492 --> 00:35:16,427 Hey, that's an idea. 627 00:35:16,461 --> 00:35:18,596 I said, "Why, Harriet? Just because I'm alone?" 628 00:35:18,630 --> 00:35:21,933 I said, "I'm not afraid to live alone." 629 00:35:21,967 --> 00:35:24,836 "In some ways, it's better to live alone," I said. 630 00:35:27,105 --> 00:35:28,606 Does this pot come with directions? 631 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,008 If I had known about this kitchen, 632 00:35:30,041 --> 00:35:31,401 it would have come with hot coffee. 633 00:35:33,912 --> 00:35:36,648 Mother. Oh, I love everything. 634 00:35:39,250 --> 00:35:42,320 You've got to stop sending me presents. 635 00:35:42,353 --> 00:35:44,265 You know, you should start spending your money on yourself. 636 00:35:44,289 --> 00:35:45,757 Well, myself? 637 00:35:47,158 --> 00:35:48,836 What does a woman like me need, living all alone, 638 00:35:48,860 --> 00:35:50,762 way out in New Jersey? 639 00:35:50,796 --> 00:35:52,030 You could travel. 640 00:35:52,063 --> 00:35:53,164 Oh, travel. 641 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,368 Alone? At my age? 642 00:35:59,570 --> 00:36:01,506 I read a story in The Times. 643 00:36:01,539 --> 00:36:03,408 A middle-aged woman traveling alone, 644 00:36:03,441 --> 00:36:05,977 fell off the deck of a ship. 645 00:36:06,011 --> 00:36:08,880 They never discovered it till they got to France. 646 00:36:11,549 --> 00:36:13,518 Mother... 647 00:36:13,551 --> 00:36:15,663 I promise you, if you ever fell off the deck of a ship, 648 00:36:15,687 --> 00:36:17,723 somebody would know about it. 649 00:36:19,124 --> 00:36:20,724 Do you know what I think you really need? 650 00:36:21,359 --> 00:36:23,061 Yes. I don't want to hear it. 651 00:36:23,094 --> 00:36:24,605 Yes, 'cause you're afraid to hear the truth. 652 00:36:24,629 --> 00:36:25,973 It's not the truth I'm afraid to hear. 653 00:36:25,997 --> 00:36:27,465 It's the word you're going to use. 654 00:36:27,498 --> 00:36:30,201 You're darn right I'm going to use it, it's love. Oh. 655 00:36:30,235 --> 00:36:32,771 A week ago, I didn't even know what it meant. 656 00:36:32,804 --> 00:36:35,907 And then I checked into to the Plaza Hotel for six wonderful days. 657 00:36:35,941 --> 00:36:37,084 And you know what happened to me there? 658 00:36:37,108 --> 00:36:39,110 I promised myself I wouldn't ask. 659 00:36:39,144 --> 00:36:40,578 I found love. 660 00:36:40,611 --> 00:36:43,081 Spiritual, physical, and emotional love. 661 00:36:43,114 --> 00:36:44,859 And I don't think anyone on Earth should be without it. 662 00:36:44,883 --> 00:36:47,452 I'm not, darling. I have you. 663 00:36:47,485 --> 00:36:49,296 I'm not talking about that kind of love, Mother. 664 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:50,898 I mean... I know what you're talking about. 665 00:36:50,922 --> 00:36:52,223 And you don't want to discuss it? 666 00:36:52,257 --> 00:36:53,725 Not with you in the room. (SIGHS) 667 00:36:54,592 --> 00:36:55,894 (HONKS) 668 00:36:56,962 --> 00:36:58,864 That must be Aunt Harriet. 669 00:37:01,266 --> 00:37:02,266 I've got to go. 670 00:37:02,433 --> 00:37:03,668 Some visit. 671 00:37:03,701 --> 00:37:05,203 Just a sneak preview. 672 00:37:05,236 --> 00:37:09,074 I'll see you both on Tuesday for the world premiere. 673 00:37:09,107 --> 00:37:11,509 Oh. You shouldn't have run just for me. 674 00:37:11,542 --> 00:37:12,911 Goodbye, love. 675 00:37:12,944 --> 00:37:14,746 I love your new apartment. 676 00:37:14,780 --> 00:37:16,782 I'll see you both on Tuesday. 677 00:37:18,483 --> 00:37:19,785 Geronimo! 678 00:37:32,864 --> 00:37:33,865 Paul, what's the matter? 679 00:37:36,902 --> 00:37:38,103 I just had an interesting talk 680 00:37:38,136 --> 00:37:40,471 with the man down in the liquor store. 681 00:37:40,505 --> 00:37:42,884 Do you know that we have some of the greatest weirdos in the country 682 00:37:42,908 --> 00:37:43,809 living right here in this building? 683 00:37:43,842 --> 00:37:45,710 No kidding! Like who? 684 00:37:45,743 --> 00:37:48,146 Well, like, to begin with, in apartment 1C are the Boscos, 685 00:37:48,179 --> 00:37:50,281 Mr. and Mrs. J. Bosco. Who are they? 686 00:37:50,315 --> 00:37:52,155 Mr. and Mrs. J. Bosco are a lovely young couple 687 00:37:52,183 --> 00:37:54,085 who just happen to be of the same sex. 688 00:37:54,119 --> 00:37:56,021 And no one knows which one that is. Crazy! 689 00:37:56,054 --> 00:37:58,189 And in apartment 3C are Mr. and Mrs. Gonzales. So... 690 00:37:58,223 --> 00:38:00,034 No, I have not finished. Mr. and Mrs. Gonzales, 691 00:38:00,058 --> 00:38:03,094 Mr. and Mrs. Armandariz, and Mr. Calhoun, who must be the umpire. 692 00:38:03,128 --> 00:38:04,629 Who do you think lives in 4D? 693 00:38:04,662 --> 00:38:06,397 I don't know. Nobody else does, either. 694 00:38:06,431 --> 00:38:08,475 Nobody's been seen going in or coming out in three years! 695 00:38:08,499 --> 00:38:09,935 Except every morning, 696 00:38:09,968 --> 00:38:12,113 there are nine empty cans of tuna fish outside the door. 697 00:38:12,137 --> 00:38:13,872 Who do you suppose lives there? 698 00:38:13,905 --> 00:38:16,574 Sounds like a big cat with a can opener. 699 00:38:16,607 --> 00:38:19,677 Oh, I forgot, Mr. Velasco, Victor Velasco, he lives in 6A. 700 00:38:19,710 --> 00:38:20,812 Where's that, on the roof? 701 00:38:20,846 --> 00:38:22,848 The attic. He lives in the attic! 702 00:38:22,881 --> 00:38:24,850 He's 58 years old. He skis, he climbs mountains, 703 00:38:24,883 --> 00:38:26,051 he's been married four times. 704 00:38:26,084 --> 00:38:27,661 He's known as the Bluebeard of 10th Street. 705 00:38:27,685 --> 00:38:29,120 What does that mean? 706 00:38:29,154 --> 00:38:31,065 I don't know. It either means that he attacks girls on 10th Street 707 00:38:31,089 --> 00:38:32,891 or he's got a blue beard. 708 00:38:32,924 --> 00:38:34,659 Where are you going? 709 00:38:34,692 --> 00:38:36,303 I'm gonna go stand in the bedroom and work. 710 00:38:36,327 --> 00:38:39,998 If anything comes up, like the bed or the heat, just let me know, huh? 711 00:38:40,899 --> 00:38:42,100 (DOOR CLOSING) 712 00:38:44,169 --> 00:38:45,503 (WIND BLOWING) 713 00:39:05,556 --> 00:39:07,092 (WHISPERS) Paul? Hmm? 714 00:39:08,826 --> 00:39:10,261 Are you asleep? 715 00:39:11,196 --> 00:39:13,064 Just my hands and my feet. 716 00:39:16,868 --> 00:39:17,945 Paul, do you know what the trouble is? 717 00:39:17,969 --> 00:39:20,771 We're wearing too much clothing. 718 00:39:20,805 --> 00:39:23,141 You know how the Eskimos keep warm? 719 00:39:23,174 --> 00:39:25,043 They check into a motel. 720 00:39:31,749 --> 00:39:33,418 Paul, do you hate me? 721 00:39:33,451 --> 00:39:34,519 Yes. 722 00:39:34,552 --> 00:39:35,954 Then say it. 723 00:39:36,454 --> 00:39:37,622 I hate you. 724 00:39:38,656 --> 00:39:40,291 Then I hate you. 725 00:39:40,325 --> 00:39:41,526 (SOFT RATTLING) 726 00:39:43,995 --> 00:39:45,106 There's somebody at the door. 727 00:39:45,130 --> 00:39:47,532 If it's the Red Cross, let them in. 728 00:39:47,565 --> 00:39:49,834 Aren't you going to answer it? 729 00:39:49,867 --> 00:39:52,070 You found the apartment. You answer it. 730 00:40:07,585 --> 00:40:09,054 (WHISPERS) Paul. 731 00:40:15,961 --> 00:40:17,262 Who are you? 732 00:40:17,295 --> 00:40:18,329 Who are you? 733 00:40:18,363 --> 00:40:19,330 I live here. 734 00:40:19,364 --> 00:40:20,498 So do I. 735 00:40:20,531 --> 00:40:22,133 How delightful! 736 00:40:22,167 --> 00:40:24,135 I hope I didn't disturb you. 737 00:40:24,169 --> 00:40:26,371 My name is Velasco, Victor Velasco. 738 00:40:27,205 --> 00:40:29,107 The Blue... From the attic? 739 00:40:31,209 --> 00:40:33,311 I was wondering if I could use your bedroom. 740 00:40:33,844 --> 00:40:35,546 The bedroom? No. 741 00:40:35,580 --> 00:40:37,915 Well, I can't get into my apartment. 742 00:40:37,949 --> 00:40:41,286 I wanted to use your window and just crawl out along the ledge. 743 00:40:41,319 --> 00:40:42,787 Oh, did you lose your key? 744 00:40:42,820 --> 00:40:45,890 Oh, no, no. I have my key, but it no longer fits the lock. 745 00:40:45,923 --> 00:40:48,693 The penalty of being four months behind in the rent. 746 00:40:51,929 --> 00:40:53,631 So, you say you live here? 747 00:40:55,133 --> 00:40:56,501 Just moved in today. 748 00:40:56,534 --> 00:40:59,370 Really? And what are you, a folk singer? 749 00:41:00,538 --> 00:41:02,007 No, a wife! Uh-huh. 750 00:41:03,008 --> 00:41:05,476 You know, of course, you're unbearably pretty. 751 00:41:05,510 --> 00:41:08,413 All indications point to my falling in love with you. 752 00:41:11,816 --> 00:41:15,053 Ah, I see our ratfink landlord 753 00:41:15,086 --> 00:41:16,854 has left a hole in the skylight. 754 00:41:16,887 --> 00:41:18,099 Yeah. Well, he's going to fix it, won't he? 755 00:41:18,123 --> 00:41:20,025 Oh, I wouldn't count on it. 756 00:41:20,058 --> 00:41:22,560 My bathtub has been leaking since 1949. (SIGHS) 757 00:41:24,629 --> 00:41:28,133 Tell me, does your husband, uh, work during the day? 758 00:41:28,566 --> 00:41:29,700 Yes. 759 00:41:29,734 --> 00:41:31,136 In an office? 760 00:41:31,602 --> 00:41:32,870 Yes. Good. 761 00:41:32,903 --> 00:41:34,539 I work at home during the day. 762 00:41:34,572 --> 00:41:37,508 Oh, I predict interesting complications. 763 00:41:37,542 --> 00:41:38,843 Am I making you nervous? 764 00:41:38,876 --> 00:41:39,744 Very nervous. (CHUCKLES) 765 00:41:39,777 --> 00:41:41,646 Wonderful! 766 00:41:41,679 --> 00:41:45,316 Once a month I try to make pretty young girls nervous 767 00:41:45,350 --> 00:41:47,452 just to keep my ego from going out. 768 00:41:47,485 --> 00:41:49,887 But I'll save you a lot of anguish. 769 00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,722 I'm six... I'm 58 years old, 770 00:41:52,790 --> 00:41:53,910 and a thoroughly nice fellow. 771 00:41:55,026 --> 00:41:56,294 Well, I'm glad to hear that. 772 00:41:56,327 --> 00:41:58,963 I'm not! I wish I were 10 years older. 773 00:41:58,996 --> 00:42:00,831 Older? Yes. 774 00:42:00,865 --> 00:42:03,901 Why, dirty old men seem to get away with a lot more. 775 00:42:03,934 --> 00:42:07,205 You see, I'm still at the awkward age. 776 00:42:07,238 --> 00:42:10,208 Well, now when do I get invited down for dinner? 777 00:42:10,241 --> 00:42:13,578 Dinner? Oh, we'd... We'd love to have you for dinner 778 00:42:13,611 --> 00:42:15,146 as soon as we get set up. 779 00:42:15,180 --> 00:42:17,182 With newlyweds, I could starve to death. 780 00:42:17,215 --> 00:42:18,949 Shall we say next Tuesday night? 781 00:42:18,983 --> 00:42:21,119 Tuesday night? No, my mother's... 782 00:42:22,887 --> 00:42:24,021 Tuesday night's fine. 783 00:42:24,055 --> 00:42:25,590 It's a date. 784 00:42:25,623 --> 00:42:27,768 I'll bring the wine. You can pay me for it when I get here. 785 00:42:27,792 --> 00:42:29,327 Oh, which reminds me, 786 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,663 you're invited to my cocktail party tomorrow night, 10:00. 787 00:42:32,697 --> 00:42:34,899 You do drink, don't you? Yes, of course. 788 00:42:34,932 --> 00:42:37,202 Good. Bring liquor. Until tomorrow then. 789 00:42:37,235 --> 00:42:39,337 Yeah, if we don't freeze first. (CHUCKLES) 790 00:42:39,370 --> 00:42:41,506 You don't know about the plumbing, do you? 791 00:42:41,539 --> 00:42:44,575 Everything in this museum works backwards. 792 00:42:44,609 --> 00:42:47,445 For example, on the steam, it says, "Turn right," 793 00:42:47,945 --> 00:42:49,214 so you turn left. 794 00:42:49,247 --> 00:42:51,582 Except I can't reach it. 795 00:42:51,616 --> 00:42:53,084 Will you help me up, please? 796 00:42:53,118 --> 00:42:55,820 Oh! With the greatest of physical pleasure. 797 00:42:55,853 --> 00:42:57,622 One, two, three, up! 798 00:42:57,655 --> 00:42:58,655 Whoo! 799 00:43:02,327 --> 00:43:04,262 Corie, was there anyone... 800 00:43:07,198 --> 00:43:08,638 We were just warming up the apartment. 801 00:43:10,601 --> 00:43:11,802 Uh, Paul... 802 00:43:13,738 --> 00:43:15,206 Whoo! 803 00:43:15,240 --> 00:43:18,376 This is Mr. Velasco from upstairs. 804 00:43:18,409 --> 00:43:20,053 He was just telling me that all our plumbing works backwards. 805 00:43:20,077 --> 00:43:21,546 That's right. 806 00:43:21,579 --> 00:43:23,581 An important thing to remember is 807 00:43:23,614 --> 00:43:26,817 you have to flush up. Until tomorrow night then. 808 00:43:26,851 --> 00:43:28,595 What's tomorrow night? Where's... Where's he going? 809 00:43:28,619 --> 00:43:30,455 Don't forget Tuesday! 810 00:43:30,488 --> 00:43:33,258 What about Tuesday? What's he doing in the bedroom? 811 00:43:33,691 --> 00:43:35,160 (WIND BLOWING) 812 00:43:54,512 --> 00:43:56,481 That nut went out the window. 813 00:43:56,947 --> 00:43:58,183 (RINGS) 814 00:44:02,953 --> 00:44:04,322 Hello. 815 00:44:04,355 --> 00:44:05,523 Hello, Mother? It's me. 816 00:44:05,556 --> 00:44:06,957 Corie, did you hear what I said? 817 00:44:06,991 --> 00:44:08,659 There's an old nut out on our ledge! 818 00:44:08,693 --> 00:44:10,761 No, nothing's wrong. 819 00:44:10,795 --> 00:44:13,364 Listen, I just want to confirm our Tuesday night dinner date. 820 00:44:13,398 --> 00:44:15,666 At 2:00 in the morning? 821 00:44:15,700 --> 00:44:17,244 Well, I just I want to be sure you're gonna come. 822 00:44:17,268 --> 00:44:19,537 At 2:00 in the morning? 823 00:44:19,570 --> 00:44:23,174 And, Mother, listen, wear something, uh, gay and frivolous. 824 00:44:23,208 --> 00:44:24,648 As a matter of fact, buy a new dress. 825 00:44:25,009 --> 00:44:27,011 At 2:00 in the morning? 826 00:44:27,044 --> 00:44:28,846 I'll call you tomorrow. Bye. 827 00:44:31,249 --> 00:44:32,783 Who are you waving at? 828 00:44:33,050 --> 00:44:34,219 Him. 829 00:45:07,752 --> 00:45:10,355 I decided to meet you here every day. 830 00:45:10,388 --> 00:45:11,532 It takes you so long to climb the stairs, 831 00:45:11,556 --> 00:45:13,123 and I can't wait for you. 832 00:45:13,157 --> 00:45:14,468 You will not meet me here every day. 833 00:45:14,492 --> 00:45:16,927 The bus driver will think you're my mother. 834 00:45:26,737 --> 00:45:28,506 Hey, do you have an Aunt Fern? Yeah. 835 00:45:28,539 --> 00:45:30,641 She sent us a check today. Did she? 836 00:45:30,675 --> 00:45:32,343 Boy, do you have a cheap Aunt Fern! 837 00:45:32,377 --> 00:45:34,479 I'll write and tell her. 838 00:45:34,512 --> 00:45:36,281 Oh, and your mother called from Philly. 839 00:45:36,314 --> 00:45:39,450 She and your father are coming up a week from Sunday. 840 00:45:39,484 --> 00:45:40,561 And your sister has a new boyfriend! 841 00:45:40,585 --> 00:45:41,919 Huh? Really? From Rutgers. 842 00:45:41,952 --> 00:45:44,355 Yeah, he has acne, and they all hate him. Swell. 843 00:45:44,389 --> 00:45:46,291 Including your sister. (BOTH LAUGHING) 844 00:45:47,325 --> 00:45:48,326 Did you miss me today? 845 00:45:48,359 --> 00:45:50,261 No. Why not? 846 00:45:50,295 --> 00:45:52,530 Because you called me eight times. 847 00:45:52,563 --> 00:45:54,899 I... I don't talk to you that much when I'm home. 848 00:45:54,932 --> 00:45:57,134 What a grouch! Hey, how'd it go in court today? 849 00:45:57,167 --> 00:45:58,403 Well, I was going to... 850 00:45:58,436 --> 00:45:59,904 Gump or Birnbaum? Birnbaum. 851 00:45:59,937 --> 00:46:00,971 You won? Yes. 852 00:46:01,005 --> 00:46:02,239 Oh, Paul! 853 00:46:03,408 --> 00:46:04,909 Oh, I'm so proud. 854 00:46:07,144 --> 00:46:08,546 Aren't you happy? 855 00:46:08,579 --> 00:46:10,223 Birnbaum won the protection of his good name. 856 00:46:10,247 --> 00:46:11,982 But no damages. We were awarded 6 cents. 857 00:46:12,016 --> 00:46:13,718 6 cents! It's the law. 858 00:46:13,751 --> 00:46:16,129 You have to be awarded something, so the court made it 6 cents. 859 00:46:16,153 --> 00:46:17,688 Well, how much of that do you get? 860 00:46:17,722 --> 00:46:19,657 Nothing. Birnbaum gets the whole 6 cents. 861 00:46:19,690 --> 00:46:21,692 And I get it going the office tomorrow. 862 00:46:21,726 --> 00:46:25,430 From here on in, I get all the cases that come in for a dime or under. 863 00:46:28,833 --> 00:46:31,402 Grouch, grouch, grouch. 864 00:46:31,436 --> 00:46:34,238 You weren't that grouchy at 6:00 this morning under the covers. 865 00:46:34,271 --> 00:46:37,642 Do you have to carry on a personal conversation with me on the stairs? 866 00:46:37,675 --> 00:46:40,311 Why, what's wrong with it? (MUMBLES) 867 00:46:40,345 --> 00:46:43,047 Everybody knows the intimate details of our life. 868 00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:46,016 Geez, I ring the bell, and suddenly we're on the air! 869 00:46:46,050 --> 00:46:47,894 You know, I think I better make you a drink. Yeah, that's... 870 00:46:47,918 --> 00:46:50,087 You're supposed to be charming tonight. 871 00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:51,756 Listen, I've got news for us. 872 00:46:51,789 --> 00:46:53,434 This little dinner you have planned for tonight 873 00:46:53,458 --> 00:46:55,426 has got fiasco written all over it. 874 00:46:55,460 --> 00:46:58,863 Why? You know, it just may be they have a lot in common. 875 00:46:58,896 --> 00:47:02,132 (CHUCKLES) Are you kidding? Your mother? 876 00:47:02,166 --> 00:47:04,277 You mean that quiet, dainty little woman from New Jersey 877 00:47:04,301 --> 00:47:05,346 and the Count of Monte Cristo? 878 00:47:05,370 --> 00:47:07,338 You must be kidding. Why? 879 00:47:07,372 --> 00:47:08,582 Well, you've seen his apartment. 880 00:47:08,606 --> 00:47:11,041 He wears Japanese kimonos, he sleeps on rugs. 881 00:47:12,910 --> 00:47:15,780 Your mother wears a hair net and sleeps on a board. 882 00:47:16,381 --> 00:47:17,782 Boof. (LAUGHS) 883 00:47:27,291 --> 00:47:29,594 Well, maybe we could help her. 884 00:47:29,627 --> 00:47:30,737 I mean, we don't have to introduce her 885 00:47:30,761 --> 00:47:33,931 as my dull, 52-year-old, housewife mother. 886 00:47:33,964 --> 00:47:35,642 That wasn't the exact wording I had planned here. 887 00:47:35,666 --> 00:47:37,602 But what did you have in mind? 888 00:47:37,635 --> 00:47:39,470 I don't know, something more glamorous. 889 00:47:39,504 --> 00:47:40,605 A former actress. 890 00:47:43,441 --> 00:47:45,976 You know, of course, that she was in The Man Who Came to Dinner. 891 00:47:46,010 --> 00:47:48,979 Your mother? Where? The East Orange Women's Club? 892 00:47:49,013 --> 00:47:50,781 I don't know, on Broadway. 893 00:47:50,815 --> 00:47:52,893 And she was in the original company of Strange Interlude, 894 00:47:52,917 --> 00:47:55,953 and she had a small singing part in Knickerbocker Holiday. 895 00:47:57,321 --> 00:47:58,823 Are you serious? 896 00:47:59,890 --> 00:48:01,091 Cross my heart. 897 00:48:03,227 --> 00:48:04,629 Your mother, an actress? 898 00:48:04,662 --> 00:48:05,662 Yeah. 899 00:48:06,997 --> 00:48:09,667 What? You never told me this. 900 00:48:09,700 --> 00:48:12,069 Why didn't you ever tell me? 901 00:48:12,102 --> 00:48:14,939 (SIGHS) I don't know. I didn't think you'd be interested. 902 00:48:14,972 --> 00:48:16,240 God, that's fascinating! 903 00:48:16,273 --> 00:48:18,375 I can't... I can't get over that. 904 00:48:19,810 --> 00:48:21,679 You see? Now you're interested. 905 00:48:21,712 --> 00:48:23,313 It's a lie. Every bit of it. 906 00:48:23,347 --> 00:48:25,115 I'm going to control myself. 907 00:48:27,885 --> 00:48:28,986 (PANTING) 908 00:48:44,301 --> 00:48:45,536 (CLANGS) 909 00:48:50,808 --> 00:48:52,577 Hello, Mom. Are you all right, Mother? 910 00:48:52,610 --> 00:48:53,911 Paul... Yes, Mom. 911 00:48:53,944 --> 00:48:56,581 In my handbag... Are some pink pills. 912 00:48:56,614 --> 00:48:58,683 Pink pills? All right. 913 00:48:58,716 --> 00:49:01,218 I'll be all right in a minute. I'm just a little out of breath. 914 00:49:01,251 --> 00:49:03,096 Mother, sit right there. I'll get you something to drink. 915 00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:06,223 I had to park the car three blocks away. 916 00:49:06,256 --> 00:49:09,694 Then it started to rain, so I ran the last two blocks. 917 00:49:09,727 --> 00:49:12,797 Then my heel got caught in the subway grating. 918 00:49:12,830 --> 00:49:15,733 When I pulled my foot out, I stepped in a puddle. 919 00:49:15,766 --> 00:49:18,636 Then a cab went by and splashed my stockings. 920 00:49:18,669 --> 00:49:20,705 If the hardware store downstairs was open, 921 00:49:20,738 --> 00:49:22,707 I was going to buy a knife and kill myself. 922 00:49:22,740 --> 00:49:23,974 Here, Mother, drink this. 923 00:49:24,008 --> 00:49:25,643 Here's your pill, Mom. 924 00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,282 A martini to wash down a pill. 925 00:49:32,316 --> 00:49:33,951 It'll make you feel better. 926 00:49:33,984 --> 00:49:35,953 I had a martini at home. It made me sick. 927 00:49:35,986 --> 00:49:38,322 That's why I'm taking the pill. 928 00:49:38,355 --> 00:49:40,758 Let me help you inside. 929 00:49:40,791 --> 00:49:42,168 You need food, Mother. I'll get you an hors d'oeuvre. 930 00:49:42,192 --> 00:49:43,393 No, thank you, dear. 931 00:49:43,427 --> 00:49:45,930 It's just sour cream and blue cheese. 932 00:49:45,963 --> 00:49:47,698 I wish you hadn't said that. 933 00:49:47,732 --> 00:49:49,900 Uh, maybe you'd like to lie down? 934 00:49:49,934 --> 00:49:52,837 No, thank you, dear. I can't lie down without my board. 935 00:49:53,871 --> 00:49:56,807 Right now, all I want to do is see the apartment. 936 00:49:56,841 --> 00:49:59,143 Well, then... Help you up. 937 00:49:59,176 --> 00:50:00,711 Up. (SIGHS CHEERFULLY) 938 00:50:05,315 --> 00:50:06,517 Corie. 939 00:50:07,752 --> 00:50:09,520 Corie! Do you like it? 940 00:50:09,954 --> 00:50:10,988 Like it? 941 00:50:11,488 --> 00:50:12,723 (CLICKS TONGUE) 942 00:50:14,692 --> 00:50:16,193 It's magnificent. 943 00:50:18,062 --> 00:50:19,062 My! 944 00:50:19,964 --> 00:50:23,634 Oh, it's... And you did it all by yourself. 945 00:50:23,668 --> 00:50:25,803 No. Actually, Mr. Velasco gave me a few ideas. 946 00:50:25,836 --> 00:50:27,638 ETHEL: Who? Our decorator. 947 00:50:27,672 --> 00:50:29,506 He comes in through the window once a week. 948 00:50:29,540 --> 00:50:31,141 Oh, the man that lives upstairs. 949 00:50:32,843 --> 00:50:34,579 Oh, you've heard about him, eh? 950 00:50:34,612 --> 00:50:37,882 Oh, yes. Corie had me on the phone for two hours yesterday. 951 00:50:37,915 --> 00:50:39,693 Did you know that he's been married four times, Mom? 952 00:50:39,717 --> 00:50:42,252 Yes. If I were you, dear, I'd sleep with a gun. 953 00:50:44,622 --> 00:50:45,990 Mother... 954 00:50:46,023 --> 00:50:47,558 See, we did get the bed in. 955 00:50:47,592 --> 00:50:50,494 Yes. Just fits, doesn't it? 956 00:50:50,527 --> 00:50:52,429 Just. We have to turn in unison. 957 00:50:52,462 --> 00:50:53,931 Well, I must admit, 958 00:50:53,964 --> 00:50:56,166 I never expected anything like this. 959 00:50:58,002 --> 00:50:59,503 Can't wait to see the expression 960 00:50:59,536 --> 00:51:01,071 on your parents' faces tonight, Paul. 961 00:51:01,739 --> 00:51:03,674 I beg your... My what? 962 00:51:03,708 --> 00:51:04,975 Your mother and father. 963 00:51:05,009 --> 00:51:06,620 We're having dinner with them tonight, aren't we? 964 00:51:06,644 --> 00:51:08,545 Isn't that what you told me, Corie? 965 00:51:08,579 --> 00:51:11,215 Is that what you told her, Corie? (SIGHS) 966 00:51:11,248 --> 00:51:13,884 Well, if I told you had a blind date with Mr. Velasco upstairs, 967 00:51:13,918 --> 00:51:15,562 I couldn't have blasted you out of the house. 968 00:51:15,586 --> 00:51:17,955 Blind date with Mr. Velasco... 969 00:51:17,988 --> 00:51:20,057 The man that lives upstairs... 970 00:51:20,090 --> 00:51:21,425 Good God! 971 00:51:21,458 --> 00:51:24,128 What's all the panic, Mother? He's just a man. 972 00:51:24,161 --> 00:51:26,463 My accountant is just a man. 973 00:51:26,496 --> 00:51:29,033 You make him sound like Douglas Fairbanks. 974 00:51:29,066 --> 00:51:31,186 He looks nothing like Douglas Fairbanks. Does he, Paul? 975 00:51:31,702 --> 00:51:32,937 No. He just jumps like him. 976 00:51:32,970 --> 00:51:34,304 Come on, Mother. 977 00:51:34,338 --> 00:51:36,216 I promise you, you're going to have a marvelous evening. 978 00:51:36,240 --> 00:51:37,541 Come on where? 979 00:51:37,574 --> 00:51:38,909 Up to Mr. Velasco's for cocktails. 980 00:51:38,943 --> 00:51:40,177 But I'm not even dressed! 981 00:51:40,210 --> 00:51:41,646 You look fine. 982 00:51:41,679 --> 00:51:44,615 Oh, for Paul's parents I just wanted to look clean. 983 00:51:44,649 --> 00:51:45,983 He'll think I'm a nurse. 984 00:51:46,016 --> 00:51:47,652 He'll think you're very interesting. 985 00:51:47,685 --> 00:51:49,153 Is my hair all right? Yes, it's fine. 986 00:51:49,186 --> 00:51:51,155 Just push it up a bit in back. Oh, right. 987 00:51:51,188 --> 00:51:53,658 Paul, is something wrong with my hair? 988 00:51:55,926 --> 00:51:57,771 Mother, listen, just try to go along with everything. 989 00:51:57,795 --> 00:51:59,664 What do you mean? Where are we going? 990 00:51:59,697 --> 00:52:01,666 I mean, try to be one of the fellows. 991 00:52:01,699 --> 00:52:03,219 One of what fellows? Should I go first? 992 00:52:03,634 --> 00:52:05,469 Go where? 993 00:52:05,502 --> 00:52:07,672 Up there. That's where the birdman lives. 994 00:52:07,705 --> 00:52:09,006 (SOFTLY) Good Lord. 995 00:52:10,207 --> 00:52:11,809 Oh. Go on, Paul. 996 00:52:11,842 --> 00:52:13,143 Yes. 997 00:52:13,177 --> 00:52:15,279 It's all right, Mother. I'll be right behind you. 998 00:52:15,312 --> 00:52:16,881 ETHEL: Oh! (SCREAMS) 999 00:52:16,914 --> 00:52:19,750 Mother, are you all right? Yes, oh, my! 1000 00:52:19,784 --> 00:52:21,218 You should've told me about this. 1001 00:52:21,251 --> 00:52:23,387 I'd have gone into training. 1002 00:52:23,420 --> 00:52:24,564 I've got you. Paul, pull her up. 1003 00:52:24,588 --> 00:52:25,790 Give me your hand, Mom. 1004 00:52:25,823 --> 00:52:27,391 Oh, my arm. You're pulling my arm! 1005 00:52:27,424 --> 00:52:28,893 Paul, stop pulling her arm. 1006 00:52:28,926 --> 00:52:30,170 PAUL: I'm not pulling. I'm helping. 1007 00:52:30,194 --> 00:52:31,662 Oh. 1008 00:52:31,696 --> 00:52:33,097 (ORIENTAL MUSIC PLAYS) Thank you. 1009 00:52:33,764 --> 00:52:35,866 Ooh! Isn't this wild? 1010 00:52:35,900 --> 00:52:37,334 Huh? What do you think, Mother? 1011 00:52:37,367 --> 00:52:38,903 I think I've broken some straps. Hello? 1012 00:52:40,671 --> 00:52:42,973 Ah, my guests. 1013 00:52:43,007 --> 00:52:45,475 Paul... (SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1014 00:52:45,509 --> 00:52:48,078 I beg your pardon? I was just saying hello in Burmese. 1015 00:52:48,112 --> 00:52:50,915 Corie, ra-vi-shing! What does that mean? 1016 00:52:50,948 --> 00:52:52,482 Ravishing. That's English. 1017 00:52:52,516 --> 00:52:54,919 (LAUGHING) 1018 00:52:54,952 --> 00:52:57,054 Uh, Paul, won't you do the honors? Yes, of course. 1019 00:52:57,087 --> 00:52:59,432 Mr. Velasco, I don't believe that you've met Corie's mother, Mrs. Banks. 1020 00:52:59,456 --> 00:53:01,458 Mom, this is our new neighbor, Mr. Velasco. 1021 00:53:01,491 --> 00:53:03,093 How do you do? Oh, Mrs. Banks. 1022 00:53:03,127 --> 00:53:05,696 I've been looking forward so to meeting you. 1023 00:53:05,730 --> 00:53:08,098 I invited your daughter to my cocktail party, 1024 00:53:08,132 --> 00:53:11,135 and she spent the entire evening talking of nothing but you. 1025 00:53:11,168 --> 00:53:13,838 That must've been a dull party. Not at all. 1026 00:53:13,871 --> 00:53:15,906 Oh, I mean, if she did nothing but talk about me, 1027 00:53:15,940 --> 00:53:17,674 that must've been dull, not the party. 1028 00:53:17,708 --> 00:53:19,543 (LAUGHS) I understand. 1029 00:53:19,576 --> 00:53:21,011 Thank you. Won't you sit down? 1030 00:53:33,758 --> 00:53:35,860 Whoosh! Aren't these marvelous? 1031 00:53:36,626 --> 00:53:38,128 Yes, they're marvelous. 1032 00:53:39,396 --> 00:53:40,731 And now... 1033 00:53:41,198 --> 00:53:42,800 (SIZZLING) 1034 00:53:42,833 --> 00:53:44,869 Knichi! Knichi? 1035 00:53:44,902 --> 00:53:46,403 It's an hors d'oeuvre, Mother. 1036 00:53:46,436 --> 00:53:49,306 Mr. Velasco makes them himself. He's a famous gourmet. 1037 00:53:49,339 --> 00:53:51,141 Gourmet. Imagine. 1038 00:53:51,175 --> 00:53:53,243 Didn't you once cook for the King of Sweden? 1039 00:53:53,277 --> 00:53:55,712 Well, we belong to the same gourmet society. 1040 00:53:55,746 --> 00:53:57,714 One hundred and fifty charter members, 1041 00:53:57,748 --> 00:53:59,784 including the King, Prince Philip, 1042 00:53:59,817 --> 00:54:01,986 Fidel Castro. Fidel Castro, too? 1043 00:54:02,019 --> 00:54:04,855 Yes. We meet once every five years 1044 00:54:04,889 --> 00:54:07,191 for a dinner we cook ourselves. 1045 00:54:07,224 --> 00:54:09,927 In 1987, they're supposed to come to my house. 1046 00:54:10,828 --> 00:54:12,830 We have another 30 seconds. 1047 00:54:12,863 --> 00:54:15,232 Until what? Until they're edible. 1048 00:54:15,265 --> 00:54:19,804 The last 15 seconds, we just let them sit there and breathe. 1049 00:54:19,837 --> 00:54:23,307 Oh, Paul, aren't they gorgeous? Yeah. 1050 00:54:23,340 --> 00:54:26,243 You know, when you eat knichi, you take a bite into history. 1051 00:54:26,276 --> 00:54:28,245 Knichi is over 2,000 years old. 1052 00:54:29,346 --> 00:54:31,715 Not this particular batch, of course. Oh, well, no. 1053 00:54:31,748 --> 00:54:33,250 (LAUGHING SHRILLY) 1054 00:54:35,385 --> 00:54:37,554 Mr. Velasco, would you be a traitor to the society 1055 00:54:37,587 --> 00:54:38,747 if you told us what's in them? 1056 00:54:39,623 --> 00:54:41,525 Well, if caught, your taste buds 1057 00:54:41,558 --> 00:54:43,828 are ostracized for two years. 1058 00:54:43,861 --> 00:54:45,195 But since I'm among friends... 1059 00:54:45,229 --> 00:54:47,832 It's bits of salted fish, grated olives, 1060 00:54:47,865 --> 00:54:49,800 spices, and onion batter. 1061 00:54:51,802 --> 00:54:54,171 Ready? Five, 1062 00:54:55,039 --> 00:54:59,343 four, three, two, one, zero. 1063 00:54:59,376 --> 00:55:01,011 Mrs. Banks. Oh. Thank you. 1064 00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:04,781 What kind of fish is it? Eel. 1065 00:55:05,582 --> 00:55:07,617 Eel? Eel. 1066 00:55:07,651 --> 00:55:09,820 That's why the time element is so essential. 1067 00:55:09,854 --> 00:55:12,022 Eel spoils quickly. 1068 00:55:12,056 --> 00:55:14,258 Mrs. Banks, you're not eating. 1069 00:55:14,291 --> 00:55:16,793 I had a martini and a pink pill, and I think... 1070 00:55:16,827 --> 00:55:18,428 Oh, please, please. 1071 00:55:18,462 --> 00:55:20,865 The temperature of the knichi is very important. 1072 00:55:20,898 --> 00:55:22,732 You must eat it now. 1073 00:55:22,766 --> 00:55:24,268 In five minutes, we throw it away. 1074 00:55:24,301 --> 00:55:26,170 ETHEL: Oh, wouldn't want you to do that. 1075 00:55:26,837 --> 00:55:28,572 No, no. Pop it. 1076 00:55:28,605 --> 00:55:31,976 I beg your pardon? If you nibble that, knichi tastes bitter. 1077 00:55:32,009 --> 00:55:33,878 You must pop it. Look. 1078 00:55:36,813 --> 00:55:38,148 See? Oh, yes. 1079 00:55:40,885 --> 00:55:42,953 (LAUGHS) Here. 1080 00:55:42,987 --> 00:55:44,221 Oh, thank you. 1081 00:55:48,458 --> 00:55:49,927 (COUGHS) 1082 00:55:50,928 --> 00:55:52,396 Mother, are you all right? 1083 00:55:52,429 --> 00:55:54,899 (CHOKING) I think I popped it back too far. 1084 00:55:54,932 --> 00:55:56,133 (COUGHS) 1085 00:55:59,803 --> 00:56:01,271 Was that water? 1086 00:56:01,305 --> 00:56:03,607 No. Vodka. I use it in the knichi. 1087 00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:04,640 Oh, my stomach. 1088 00:56:05,642 --> 00:56:07,677 Of course, the trick is to pop it 1089 00:56:07,711 --> 00:56:09,513 right to the center of the tongue. 1090 00:56:09,546 --> 00:56:12,382 Then it gets the benefit of the entire palate. Corie. 1091 00:56:13,550 --> 00:56:15,019 Well, here goes. 1092 00:56:17,454 --> 00:56:19,990 How about that? Perfect! 1093 00:56:20,024 --> 00:56:22,059 You are the prettiest epicurean I've ever seen. 1094 00:56:22,092 --> 00:56:23,260 Paul. 1095 00:56:23,293 --> 00:56:25,329 No. No, thank you. I... I have a bad arm. 1096 00:56:26,496 --> 00:56:28,865 You can try. Paul, you have to try everything. 1097 00:56:28,899 --> 00:56:30,734 Right, Mr. Velasco? 1098 00:56:30,767 --> 00:56:32,569 Well, as the French say, "At least once." 1099 00:56:42,146 --> 00:56:43,213 Ah. 1100 00:56:43,914 --> 00:56:45,382 Bitter. Right? 1101 00:56:46,150 --> 00:56:48,085 You know why, don't you? 1102 00:56:48,118 --> 00:56:49,319 I nibbled, I didn't pop. 1103 00:56:49,353 --> 00:56:51,155 Yeah. Have another one. And try to pop... 1104 00:56:51,188 --> 00:56:53,257 No, no. I don't care to pop another one. Really. 1105 00:56:53,290 --> 00:56:56,426 Besides, I think we're over the five-minute-limit now anyway. 1106 00:56:56,460 --> 00:56:58,595 Well, are we ready to go out to dinner? 1107 00:56:58,628 --> 00:57:01,198 Why, I thought we were going to have dinner at your flat. 1108 00:57:01,231 --> 00:57:02,967 No. We had a fire in our stove. 1109 00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,734 Goodness. What happened? 1110 00:57:04,768 --> 00:57:07,237 Nothing. We just turned it on. 1111 00:57:07,271 --> 00:57:10,307 If you're looking for the unusual, I have a suggestion. 1112 00:57:10,340 --> 00:57:12,242 That's what we want. The unusual, right, Mother? 1113 00:57:12,276 --> 00:57:14,778 Oh, you know me, one of the fellows. 1114 00:57:14,811 --> 00:57:16,813 Then we're off to The Four Winds. 1115 00:57:16,846 --> 00:57:18,515 The Chinese restaurant on 53rd Street? 1116 00:57:18,548 --> 00:57:21,251 No, the Albanian restaurant on Staten Island. 1117 00:57:21,285 --> 00:57:22,586 We'll have to take a ferry. 1118 00:57:22,619 --> 00:57:23,988 Ferry? In February. 1119 00:57:24,021 --> 00:57:25,990 I love it already! Come on, Mother. 1120 00:57:26,923 --> 00:57:28,959 Paul, help her. Yep. 1121 00:57:28,993 --> 00:57:31,495 Oh, dear! It won't let go of me. (CHUCKLES) 1122 00:57:32,696 --> 00:57:35,599 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 1123 00:57:35,632 --> 00:57:39,669 Now, don't expect anything lavish in the way of decor. 1124 00:57:39,703 --> 00:57:42,306 Actually, I'm not even certain they have a restaurant license. 1125 00:57:42,339 --> 00:57:43,740 How quaint. 1126 00:57:43,773 --> 00:57:46,076 Mr. Velasco, don't you wear a coat? 1127 00:57:46,110 --> 00:57:47,877 Well, it's only 30 degrees. 1128 00:57:47,911 --> 00:57:49,313 For me, it's springtime. 1129 00:57:49,346 --> 00:57:51,648 Ready? My group, stick close to me. 1130 00:57:51,681 --> 00:57:52,916 If anyone gets lost, 1131 00:57:52,949 --> 00:57:54,618 we'll meet at the United States Embassy. 1132 00:57:58,855 --> 00:58:01,625 Where were you? Getting my gloves. 1133 00:58:01,658 --> 00:58:04,594 Gloves. What do you need gloves for? It's only 30 degrees. 1134 00:58:04,628 --> 00:58:06,997 Oh. I'm sorry, I forgot. We're having a heat wave. 1135 00:58:15,972 --> 00:58:17,641 Do you have a dime? Yeah. 1136 00:58:27,917 --> 00:58:30,420 Would you look at her? Look at her. 1137 00:58:34,891 --> 00:58:36,902 She's freezing to death, but she wouldn't admit that. 1138 00:58:36,926 --> 00:58:39,063 I'll admit it. I'm freezing to death. 1139 00:58:42,032 --> 00:58:43,533 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1140 00:58:46,503 --> 00:58:47,771 (CHUCKLES) Hi! 1141 00:58:48,372 --> 00:58:49,473 Hello! 1142 00:59:04,054 --> 00:59:05,389 Voila! 1143 00:59:07,191 --> 00:59:08,625 Come on, Mother. 1144 00:59:14,564 --> 00:59:17,667 Uh, listen, are you sure we're in the right place? 1145 00:59:17,701 --> 00:59:19,035 What? Inhale. 1146 00:59:19,869 --> 00:59:21,538 This way. Heavenly! 1147 00:59:25,175 --> 00:59:27,577 (READING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) The Four Winds. 1148 00:59:27,611 --> 00:59:30,714 I bid you, now enter a gastronomical paradise. 1149 00:59:31,648 --> 00:59:33,049 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1150 00:59:33,083 --> 00:59:34,818 Kishama! 1151 00:59:34,851 --> 00:59:36,753 Velasco! (LAUGHS) 1152 00:59:39,756 --> 00:59:42,592 Mmm! You taste delicious! 1153 00:59:42,626 --> 00:59:44,994 You think so? I put myself on the menu. 1154 00:59:45,028 --> 00:59:46,730 (LAUGHS) How many people you got? 1155 00:59:46,763 --> 00:59:49,699 Four. All cold, all tired, and all starving. 1156 00:59:49,733 --> 00:59:51,901 Good. First you drink, then you eat, 1157 00:59:51,935 --> 00:59:53,137 then you go up to my bed 1158 00:59:53,170 --> 00:59:54,671 and take a little sleep, huh? 1159 00:59:54,704 --> 00:59:56,940 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1160 00:59:56,973 --> 00:59:58,808 Get up! Huh! 1161 00:59:58,842 --> 01:00:01,611 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1162 01:00:11,755 --> 01:00:15,825 A-ha, Ouzo, my beautiful, beloved Ouzo. 1163 01:00:15,859 --> 01:00:17,694 Paul, do you drink? 1164 01:00:17,727 --> 01:00:19,863 Yes, thank you. Ouzo, I'd like a scotch, please. 1165 01:00:19,896 --> 01:00:21,565 No, no. Uh, this is Ouzo. 1166 01:00:21,998 --> 01:00:23,900 She is Mushka. 1167 01:00:23,933 --> 01:00:25,702 Paul, didn't you know this was Ouzo? 1168 01:00:26,303 --> 01:00:27,304 No. 1169 01:00:27,871 --> 01:00:29,072 Is the glass dirty? 1170 01:00:29,105 --> 01:00:30,407 What color is Ouzo? 1171 01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:31,841 White. It's dirty. 1172 01:00:36,246 --> 01:00:38,982 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1173 01:00:39,015 --> 01:00:41,785 To the beginning of new friendships. 1174 01:00:41,818 --> 01:00:44,321 (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 1175 01:00:45,322 --> 01:00:46,562 (CHUCKLING) What does that mean? 1176 01:00:46,590 --> 01:00:47,924 I don't know. I just made it up. 1177 01:00:47,957 --> 01:00:49,493 Cheers! (LAUGHS) Cheers! 1178 01:00:51,928 --> 01:00:53,297 (GRUNTS) Oh! 1179 01:00:53,963 --> 01:00:55,465 Wow! Whoo! (LAUGHING) 1180 01:00:56,933 --> 01:00:58,933 Here's to your health, Mom. Thank you. To my health. 1181 01:01:01,371 --> 01:01:03,507 (COUGHS) Have another one, quickly. 1182 01:01:03,540 --> 01:01:04,974 Oh, no, thank you, really. 1183 01:01:05,008 --> 01:01:07,143 Oh, please. One can make you sick. 1184 01:01:07,177 --> 01:01:09,279 Two starts you on the road to recovery. 1185 01:01:12,249 --> 01:01:13,817 Pelmenchki! (POPPING) 1186 01:01:14,318 --> 01:01:15,552 I don't believe it! 1187 01:01:15,585 --> 01:01:17,287 Taste it. You still won't believe it. 1188 01:01:17,321 --> 01:01:19,323 Pelmenchki! For us! 1189 01:01:19,356 --> 01:01:21,425 He only makes it twice a year. 1190 01:01:21,458 --> 01:01:24,828 Hmm, if you like it, I make you more next July. 1191 01:01:24,861 --> 01:01:26,563 (CHUCKLES) To pelmenchki. 1192 01:01:29,499 --> 01:01:31,968 Pour it in right away. Otherwise, it goes sour. 1193 01:01:32,001 --> 01:01:33,737 (SIZZLING) 1194 01:01:39,142 --> 01:01:40,644 (FOLK MUSIC PLAYING) 1195 01:01:52,155 --> 01:01:53,323 Hey, it's Mushka. 1196 01:02:01,765 --> 01:02:04,601 (SINGING FOLK SONG) 1197 01:02:12,108 --> 01:02:13,586 Hey, I like that. What are they playing? 1198 01:02:13,610 --> 01:02:15,645 It's an old Albanian folk song. 1199 01:02:15,679 --> 01:02:17,647 Shama, Shama. What does that mean? 1200 01:02:17,681 --> 01:02:19,583 Uh, Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care. 1201 01:02:19,616 --> 01:02:21,150 No kidding. 1202 01:02:21,184 --> 01:02:22,919 (FOLK SONG CONTINUES) 1203 01:02:40,837 --> 01:02:42,639 (ALL LAUGHING) 1204 01:02:50,079 --> 01:02:51,548 (TEMPO INCREASES) 1205 01:03:45,201 --> 01:03:47,804 (SINGING FOLK SONG) 1206 01:03:48,338 --> 01:03:50,073 Hey! Wait! 1207 01:03:50,106 --> 01:03:51,508 I'll race you up the stairs! 1208 01:03:51,975 --> 01:03:53,076 No, no, no! 1209 01:03:54,110 --> 01:03:55,379 Oh, you! 1210 01:03:56,045 --> 01:03:57,581 Oh! (LAUGHS) 1211 01:03:58,114 --> 01:04:00,950 Oh! No, you don't. 1212 01:04:00,984 --> 01:04:02,752 No! No, no, no. 1213 01:04:02,786 --> 01:04:04,053 (SQUEALING) 1214 01:04:05,321 --> 01:04:07,056 (LAUGHING) 1215 01:04:08,658 --> 01:04:09,859 Oh, no. 1216 01:04:09,893 --> 01:04:11,528 (PANTING) 1217 01:04:12,161 --> 01:04:13,730 I won! 1218 01:04:13,763 --> 01:04:15,331 (PANTING) 1219 01:04:15,865 --> 01:04:18,334 I won. (LAUGHING) 1220 01:04:18,368 --> 01:04:21,104 That was not a fair race. You tickled me. 1221 01:04:21,137 --> 01:04:23,106 (PANTING) 1222 01:04:23,139 --> 01:04:24,183 Hey, how do you say it again? 1223 01:04:24,207 --> 01:04:25,742 Say what? 1224 01:04:25,775 --> 01:04:27,477 Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. 1225 01:04:27,511 --> 01:04:29,479 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1226 01:04:30,447 --> 01:04:32,015 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1227 01:04:32,048 --> 01:04:33,650 No, no, no... No? 1228 01:04:33,683 --> 01:04:35,685 That's, "Fly, you have a waiter in my soup." 1229 01:04:35,719 --> 01:04:38,021 (LAUGHING) Oh, well, I did. 1230 01:04:38,054 --> 01:04:40,790 He put his hand in to take out the fly. (LAUGHING) 1231 01:04:40,824 --> 01:04:43,059 Oh! How's my head going to feel tomorrow? 1232 01:04:43,092 --> 01:04:44,861 Wonderful! No headache? 1233 01:04:44,894 --> 01:04:46,896 No, no headache. 1234 01:04:46,930 --> 01:04:49,566 But you won't be able to make a fist for three days. 1235 01:04:51,067 --> 01:04:54,003 Hey! Look at that! 1236 01:04:54,037 --> 01:04:56,372 (CHUCKLES) Coffee. We promised to make coffee. 1237 01:04:56,406 --> 01:04:58,842 Oh! And a promise is a promise! 1238 01:05:14,357 --> 01:05:16,325 I forgot the stove doesn't work. 1239 01:05:16,359 --> 01:05:18,161 Hey, upstairs, everybody, for coffee. 1240 01:05:18,194 --> 01:05:19,328 Don't you two want coffee? 1241 01:05:19,362 --> 01:05:21,831 Oh, they'll drink it if we make it. 1242 01:05:21,865 --> 01:05:24,468 Don't you two go away. (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1243 01:05:26,536 --> 01:05:28,171 (CORIE AND VICTOR LAUGHING) 1244 01:05:28,972 --> 01:05:30,173 (EXHALES HEAVILY) 1245 01:05:34,143 --> 01:05:35,645 I feel like we've died. 1246 01:05:37,246 --> 01:05:38,815 And gone to heaven. 1247 01:05:40,383 --> 01:05:42,085 Only we had to climb up. 1248 01:05:45,421 --> 01:05:47,491 Struck down in the prime of life. 1249 01:05:48,758 --> 01:05:51,427 It isn't exactly that I feel sick, just... 1250 01:05:51,461 --> 01:05:52,862 Kind of numb. 1251 01:05:54,430 --> 01:05:56,466 And I can't make a fist. 1252 01:06:00,403 --> 01:06:02,772 Mom, you want to hear something frightening? 1253 01:06:05,241 --> 01:06:06,776 My teeth feel soft. 1254 01:06:08,411 --> 01:06:10,880 Huh. It's funny. 1255 01:06:10,914 --> 01:06:12,949 The best thing we had all night was the knichi. 1256 01:06:12,982 --> 01:06:15,451 Oh, anyway, Corie had a good time. 1257 01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:20,189 She seems to get such a terrific kick out of living. 1258 01:06:21,525 --> 01:06:23,426 You've got to admire that, don't you, Paul? 1259 01:06:23,459 --> 01:06:25,795 Yes, yes. I'd admire anybody 1260 01:06:25,829 --> 01:06:27,396 who has three portions of pelmenchki. 1261 01:06:27,430 --> 01:06:29,933 I tried, Paul. 1262 01:06:29,966 --> 01:06:32,211 I just couldn't seem to work up an appetite the way they did. 1263 01:06:32,235 --> 01:06:34,237 No, no, you mustn't blame yourself, Mom. 1264 01:06:34,270 --> 01:06:37,641 We're not used to that kind of food, that's all. 1265 01:06:37,674 --> 01:06:40,644 You don't pick up a fork and dig into a black salad. 1266 01:06:42,512 --> 01:06:44,313 You've got to play with it. 1267 01:06:44,347 --> 01:06:46,683 I don't think I could get through coffee tonight. 1268 01:06:46,716 --> 01:06:48,284 I'm all out of pink pills. 1269 01:06:48,317 --> 01:06:49,586 Where are you going? 1270 01:06:49,619 --> 01:06:51,588 Home. I'd like to die in my own bed. 1271 01:06:52,221 --> 01:06:53,923 What will I tell them? 1272 01:06:53,957 --> 01:06:55,859 Make up some clever little lie. 1273 01:06:57,026 --> 01:06:58,962 Tell Corie I'm not really her mother. 1274 01:07:01,565 --> 01:07:03,933 We've decided to have flaming brandy. 1275 01:07:03,967 --> 01:07:06,703 I'm afraid you must excuse me, darling, but it is a little late. 1276 01:07:06,736 --> 01:07:08,447 Mother, you can't go. It's the shank of the evening. 1277 01:07:08,471 --> 01:07:12,776 I know, darling, but I have a 10:00 dentist appointment at 9:00 1278 01:07:12,809 --> 01:07:14,510 and it's been a very long evening, 1279 01:07:14,544 --> 01:07:16,512 and I don't know what I'm saying. 1280 01:07:16,546 --> 01:07:17,723 Mother, you can't do that... Darling. 1281 01:07:17,747 --> 01:07:19,248 Good night, Paul. 1282 01:07:19,282 --> 01:07:21,184 Good night, Mr. Velasco. 1283 01:07:21,217 --> 01:07:23,019 Good night, Paul. Good night. 1284 01:07:23,052 --> 01:07:24,320 Good night, Corie. 1285 01:07:24,353 --> 01:07:25,955 No, you're not going, too? 1286 01:07:25,989 --> 01:07:27,667 Well, of course. I'm going to drive Mrs. Banks home. 1287 01:07:27,691 --> 01:07:30,493 Oh, no. I mean, oh, no, it's too late. 1288 01:07:30,526 --> 01:07:32,929 For what? For the buses. They stop at 2:00. 1289 01:07:32,962 --> 01:07:34,598 How would you ever get home? 1290 01:07:34,631 --> 01:07:36,065 Why worry about that now? 1291 01:07:36,099 --> 01:07:38,001 I'll meet that problem in New Jersey. 1292 01:07:38,034 --> 01:07:39,645 Oh, really, Mr. Velasco, it's very sweet, but I... 1293 01:07:39,669 --> 01:07:41,871 Victor. What? 1294 01:07:41,905 --> 01:07:43,783 Well, if we're going to spend the rest of the evening together, 1295 01:07:43,807 --> 01:07:45,742 it must be Victor. Oh. 1296 01:07:45,775 --> 01:07:48,578 And I insist that the arrangement be reciprocal. 1297 01:07:48,612 --> 01:07:50,046 What is it? 1298 01:07:50,079 --> 01:07:51,480 What is what? 1299 01:07:51,514 --> 01:07:52,616 Your name, Mother. 1300 01:07:54,417 --> 01:07:55,952 It's Ethel. 1301 01:07:55,985 --> 01:07:58,922 Oh, yes. Ethel, that's right. My name is Ethel. 1302 01:07:58,955 --> 01:08:01,090 That's better. Are you ready, Ethel? 1303 01:08:01,658 --> 01:08:03,259 If you insist, Walter. 1304 01:08:04,127 --> 01:08:05,662 Victor. It's Victor. 1305 01:08:05,695 --> 01:08:07,063 Yes, Victor. Good night, Paul. 1306 01:08:08,898 --> 01:08:10,867 Shama, shama, Corie. Shama, shama. 1307 01:08:10,900 --> 01:08:12,769 If you don't hear from us in a week, 1308 01:08:12,802 --> 01:08:15,371 we'll be in the National Hotel in Mexico City. 1309 01:08:15,404 --> 01:08:16,940 Room 703. Come on, Ethel. 1310 01:08:18,307 --> 01:08:19,643 What did he mean by that? 1311 01:08:19,676 --> 01:08:21,010 Stop worrying, Mother. 1312 01:08:21,044 --> 01:08:22,646 And call me in the morning. Oh. 1313 01:08:24,748 --> 01:08:26,883 How about that? He likes her! 1314 01:08:28,084 --> 01:08:29,585 He likes my mother! 1315 01:08:31,054 --> 01:08:32,856 He'll probably have to sleep over. 1316 01:08:33,823 --> 01:08:35,524 Hey, Paul, do you suppose that... 1317 01:08:35,558 --> 01:08:36,926 Not my mother. 1318 01:08:38,094 --> 01:08:39,195 (SIGHS) 1319 01:08:41,264 --> 01:08:42,932 Boy, what a night! 1320 01:08:45,735 --> 01:08:47,303 Hey, I got an idea. 1321 01:08:47,336 --> 01:08:49,005 Let's take the bottle of scotch downstairs 1322 01:08:49,038 --> 01:08:51,040 and ring all the bells and yell, "Police." 1323 01:08:51,074 --> 01:08:53,677 Huh? Just to see who comes out of whose apartment? 1324 01:08:54,978 --> 01:08:56,355 What's the matter, darling? Don't you feel well? 1325 01:08:56,379 --> 01:08:59,048 What a rotten thing to do to your own mother. 1326 01:08:59,082 --> 01:09:00,483 What? 1327 01:09:00,516 --> 01:09:02,527 Dragging your mother like that out into the middle of the harbor 1328 01:09:02,551 --> 01:09:04,053 for a bowl of sheep dip. 1329 01:09:08,658 --> 01:09:10,259 It was Greek bean soup. 1330 01:09:12,595 --> 01:09:14,898 And at least she tasted it. 1331 01:09:14,931 --> 01:09:16,408 I mean, she didn't jab at it with her knife 1332 01:09:16,432 --> 01:09:17,777 throwing cute little epigrams like, 1333 01:09:17,801 --> 01:09:20,103 "Ho, ho, ho. I think there's somebody in there." 1334 01:09:21,938 --> 01:09:24,240 That's, um, quite a match you made. 1335 01:09:24,273 --> 01:09:26,743 I can just hear the conversation. Sparkling dialogue. 1336 01:09:26,776 --> 01:09:28,177 He's telling her about some 1337 01:09:28,211 --> 01:09:30,546 great Japanese restaurant in East Berlin, 1338 01:09:30,579 --> 01:09:33,249 and she's describing the joys of having a root canal job. 1339 01:09:36,352 --> 01:09:37,486 Give me your hand, Ethel. 1340 01:09:37,520 --> 01:09:38,822 My what? 1341 01:09:38,855 --> 01:09:40,589 Your hand. There is ice on the stoop. 1342 01:09:40,623 --> 01:09:42,926 Oh, don't worry about me. I can manage. 1343 01:09:43,392 --> 01:09:44,393 (GASPS) 1344 01:09:49,933 --> 01:09:52,268 Ethel. Are you all right? 1345 01:09:52,301 --> 01:09:53,937 Uh... Oh. 1346 01:09:55,038 --> 01:09:56,038 Well. 1347 01:10:08,517 --> 01:10:10,186 I just can't understand 1348 01:10:10,219 --> 01:10:12,321 how you can be so unconcerned about all this. 1349 01:10:12,355 --> 01:10:13,422 I really... Unconcerned? 1350 01:10:14,824 --> 01:10:16,235 Do you think I'm gonna get one wink of sleep 1351 01:10:16,259 --> 01:10:18,828 until that phone rings tomorrow? 1352 01:10:18,862 --> 01:10:21,497 I'm scared to death for my mother. 1353 01:10:21,530 --> 01:10:24,700 And I'm grateful there's finally something to be scared about. 1354 01:10:25,769 --> 01:10:27,904 What I'm really concerned about is you. 1355 01:10:30,139 --> 01:10:31,407 Me? Me? 1356 01:10:33,142 --> 01:10:36,880 Yeah. I'm beginning to wonder if you're capable of having a good time. 1357 01:10:36,913 --> 01:10:39,148 Why? Because I like to wear my gloves in winter? 1358 01:10:39,182 --> 01:10:41,417 No. 1359 01:10:41,450 --> 01:10:44,821 Because there isn't the least bit of adventure in you. 1360 01:10:44,854 --> 01:10:47,957 You know what you are, Paul? You're a watcher. 1361 01:10:47,991 --> 01:10:49,668 You're a watcher. There are watchers in this world, 1362 01:10:49,692 --> 01:10:51,194 and there are doers. 1363 01:10:51,227 --> 01:10:53,496 And the watchers sit around watching the doers do. 1364 01:10:54,864 --> 01:10:57,533 Well, tonight you watched, and I did. 1365 01:10:57,566 --> 01:10:59,344 Yeah, well, it was a little bit harder to watch what you did 1366 01:10:59,368 --> 01:11:01,113 than it was for you to do what I was watching. 1367 01:11:01,137 --> 01:11:03,372 You can't even relax for one evening. 1368 01:11:05,341 --> 01:11:07,086 I don't know, Paul, sometimes you act like a... 1369 01:11:07,110 --> 01:11:08,878 What? Hmm? 1370 01:11:08,912 --> 01:11:10,880 A stuffed shirt? Is that it? 1371 01:11:10,914 --> 01:11:12,657 I didn't say that. No, that's what you were implying. 1372 01:11:12,681 --> 01:11:13,893 Ah, no. That's what you're anticipating. 1373 01:11:13,917 --> 01:11:15,852 I didn't say stuffed shirt. Mmm-hmm. 1374 01:11:18,387 --> 01:11:20,027 But you're extremely proper and dignified. 1375 01:11:25,128 --> 01:11:27,563 Proper and dignified? When was I proper and dignified? 1376 01:11:27,596 --> 01:11:29,341 The other night at Delfino's, you were drunk, right? 1377 01:11:29,365 --> 01:11:30,800 Right. I was stoned. 1378 01:11:30,834 --> 01:11:32,735 Exactly. I didn't even know it 1379 01:11:32,768 --> 01:11:34,470 until you told me in the morning. 1380 01:11:37,506 --> 01:11:39,408 I mean, you're a funny kind of drunk, Paul. 1381 01:11:39,442 --> 01:11:42,111 You just sat around looking unhappy, watching your coat. 1382 01:11:42,745 --> 01:11:44,080 I was watching my coat 1383 01:11:44,113 --> 01:11:46,850 because I saw someone else watching my coat. 1384 01:11:46,883 --> 01:11:48,593 Look, if you want, I'll get drunk for you sometime, 1385 01:11:48,617 --> 01:11:49,752 make your hair stand on end. 1386 01:11:49,785 --> 01:11:51,287 (WHILE BRUSHING) It isn't necessary. 1387 01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:52,731 Do you know that in Harry's bar last New Year's Eve, 1388 01:11:52,755 --> 01:11:54,390 I punched an old woman? 1389 01:11:54,423 --> 01:11:55,524 Don't tell me about drunk. 1390 01:12:00,129 --> 01:12:01,969 When else? When else was I proper and dignified? 1391 01:12:03,166 --> 01:12:05,101 All the time. 1392 01:12:05,134 --> 01:12:07,012 You're always dressed right. You always look right. 1393 01:12:07,036 --> 01:12:08,804 You always say the right thing. 1394 01:12:09,805 --> 01:12:11,207 You're very nearly perfect. 1395 01:12:12,608 --> 01:12:15,044 That's a rotten thing to say. 1396 01:12:15,078 --> 01:12:16,889 Before we were married, I thought you slept with a tie. 1397 01:12:16,913 --> 01:12:18,581 No, just for very formal sleeps. 1398 01:12:20,216 --> 01:12:22,919 Boy, you have absolutely no sense of the ridiculous. 1399 01:12:22,952 --> 01:12:24,387 Like last Thursday night, 1400 01:12:24,420 --> 01:12:27,023 you wouldn't walk barefoot with me in Washington Square Park. 1401 01:12:27,056 --> 01:12:28,600 Why not? Simple answer. It was 17 degrees. 1402 01:12:28,624 --> 01:12:30,193 Exactly. 1403 01:12:30,226 --> 01:12:31,827 It's very logical, it's very sensible, 1404 01:12:31,861 --> 01:12:33,329 and it's no fun. 1405 01:12:34,430 --> 01:12:35,664 Maybe you're right. 1406 01:12:35,698 --> 01:12:38,367 Maybe I am a little bit too proper and dignified for you. 1407 01:12:38,401 --> 01:12:40,003 Maybe you would've been happier 1408 01:12:40,036 --> 01:12:41,780 with somebody a little bit more colorful and flamboyant. 1409 01:12:41,804 --> 01:12:43,239 Like the geek. 1410 01:12:43,272 --> 01:12:45,741 Well, it'd be a lot more laughs than a stuffed shirt. 1411 01:12:45,774 --> 01:12:46,742 I thought you said I wasn't. 1412 01:12:46,775 --> 01:12:48,044 Well, you are now. 1413 01:12:49,913 --> 01:12:51,347 I'm not going to listen to this. 1414 01:12:51,380 --> 01:12:53,758 I'm not gonna listen to this, I have a case in court in the morning. 1415 01:12:53,782 --> 01:12:55,084 Where are you going? To sleep. 1416 01:12:55,118 --> 01:12:57,120 Now? How can you go to sleep now? 1417 01:12:57,153 --> 01:13:00,089 I'm gonna close my eyes and count knichis. Good night, dear. 1418 01:13:00,123 --> 01:13:02,491 You cannot go to sleep now, Paul. We're having a fight. 1419 01:13:02,525 --> 01:13:04,036 Well, you have the fight. When you're through, 1420 01:13:04,060 --> 01:13:05,828 would you turn off these lights, please? 1421 01:13:05,861 --> 01:13:07,863 Oh, that gets me absolutely insane! 1422 01:13:07,897 --> 01:13:09,765 You can even control your emotions! 1423 01:13:09,798 --> 01:13:12,501 No, no, now. I'm just as upset as you are. 1424 01:13:12,535 --> 01:13:15,104 But when I get hungry, I eat. When I get tired, I sleep. 1425 01:13:15,138 --> 01:13:17,473 And you eat and sleep too. Don't deny it, I've seen you. 1426 01:13:17,506 --> 01:13:19,242 Not in middle of a crisis. 1427 01:13:19,275 --> 01:13:21,344 What crisis? We're just yelling. 1428 01:13:21,377 --> 01:13:23,346 You don't consider this a crisis? 1429 01:13:23,379 --> 01:13:25,214 Our whole marriage is hanging in the balance. 1430 01:13:26,149 --> 01:13:28,684 It is? When did this happen? 1431 01:13:28,717 --> 01:13:31,087 Just now. It has suddenly become very clear to me 1432 01:13:31,120 --> 01:13:33,556 that you and I have absolutely nothing in common. 1433 01:13:33,589 --> 01:13:36,292 Why, because I won't go walking barefoot in the park? 1434 01:13:36,325 --> 01:13:38,637 You don't have a case, Corie. Adultery, yes, but cold feet, no. 1435 01:13:38,661 --> 01:13:40,029 Don't you oversimplify this. 1436 01:13:40,063 --> 01:13:41,931 I am angry, Paul. Can't you see that? 1437 01:13:42,365 --> 01:13:45,901 It's 2:15. 1438 01:13:45,935 --> 01:13:48,771 If I can get to sleep in half an hour, I can get about five hours sleep. 1439 01:13:48,804 --> 01:13:51,116 I'll call you from court tomorrow, and we'll fight over the phone. Hmm? 1440 01:13:51,140 --> 01:13:52,541 You will not go to sleep, Paul. 1441 01:13:52,575 --> 01:13:55,844 You will stay here and fight to save our marriage! 1442 01:13:55,878 --> 01:13:58,481 If our marriage hinges on those fishbowls and pelmenchki, 1443 01:13:58,514 --> 01:13:59,715 it is not worth saving. 1444 01:13:59,748 --> 01:14:02,618 Now, dear, I'm crawling into our tiny little single bed. 1445 01:14:02,651 --> 01:14:05,097 If you care to join me, we're sleeping from left to right tonight. 1446 01:14:05,121 --> 01:14:07,856 You won't discuss it! You're afraid to discuss it! 1447 01:14:07,890 --> 01:14:10,026 I married a coward! 1448 01:14:10,059 --> 01:14:12,861 Would you bring in a pail? The closet's dripping. 1449 01:14:12,895 --> 01:14:15,198 Oh, I hate you! I really, really hate you! 1450 01:14:15,231 --> 01:14:17,967 Listen! All right, wait a minute, Corie. 1451 01:14:18,001 --> 01:14:19,211 There's one thing I've learned in court. 1452 01:14:19,235 --> 01:14:20,903 Be careful when you're tired and angry. 1453 01:14:20,936 --> 01:14:22,481 You may say something you will soon regret. 1454 01:14:22,505 --> 01:14:23,639 I am now tired and angry. 1455 01:14:23,672 --> 01:14:25,108 And a coward! 1456 01:14:26,075 --> 01:14:27,510 Listen, maybe you're right then. 1457 01:14:27,543 --> 01:14:29,979 Maybe we don't have anything in common. 1458 01:14:30,013 --> 01:14:32,715 Maybe two people should have more than just a blood test first. 1459 01:14:32,748 --> 01:14:35,184 Maybe they should be checked first for a little common sense, 1460 01:14:35,218 --> 01:14:37,320 understanding, and emotional maturity! 1461 01:14:38,554 --> 01:14:40,589 All right. 1462 01:14:40,623 --> 01:14:43,392 Why don't you get it passed by the Supreme Court? 1463 01:14:43,426 --> 01:14:45,837 Only those couples bearing a certificate from their psychiatrist 1464 01:14:45,861 --> 01:14:48,697 proving that they're emotionally mature can be married. 1465 01:14:50,333 --> 01:14:52,135 Oh, listen... Don't touch me! 1466 01:14:54,570 --> 01:14:57,440 Don't you lay a finger on me! I can't stand having you near me! 1467 01:14:57,473 --> 01:14:59,184 What? I don't even want to be in the same room with you! 1468 01:14:59,208 --> 01:15:00,909 What's going on here? You're hysterical. 1469 01:15:00,943 --> 01:15:02,945 I am not hysterical! 1470 01:15:02,978 --> 01:15:04,713 I know exactly what I'm saying, Paul. 1471 01:15:04,747 --> 01:15:06,515 It's all over between us. 1472 01:15:06,549 --> 01:15:09,085 And it's never going to be any good anymore. 1473 01:15:09,118 --> 01:15:10,886 (MUTTERING) I'm sorry. I don't want to cry. 1474 01:15:10,919 --> 01:15:12,455 Cry, please. Go ahead. 1475 01:15:12,488 --> 01:15:14,623 Don't you tell me when to cry! 1476 01:15:14,657 --> 01:15:17,626 I'm gonna cry when I feel like crying. (SNIFFLES) 1477 01:15:17,660 --> 01:15:20,396 And I'm not gonna have my cry until you are out of this apartment. 1478 01:15:20,429 --> 01:15:22,029 What do you mean "out of this apartment"? 1479 01:15:23,399 --> 01:15:24,867 Well, you certainly don't think 1480 01:15:24,900 --> 01:15:26,411 we're going to live here anymore, do you? 1481 01:15:26,435 --> 01:15:27,435 After this? 1482 01:15:28,104 --> 01:15:29,405 Are you serious? 1483 01:15:29,438 --> 01:15:31,774 Of course I'm serious, Paul! I want a divorce! 1484 01:15:32,475 --> 01:15:34,009 Divorce! 1485 01:15:34,043 --> 01:15:35,620 I'm sorry, Paul. I can't discuss it anymore. 1486 01:15:35,644 --> 01:15:36,679 Where are you going? 1487 01:15:36,712 --> 01:15:38,181 To bed. 1488 01:15:38,214 --> 01:15:40,416 You can't, not now. You did before. 1489 01:15:40,449 --> 01:15:43,586 In the middle of a fight, this is in the middle of a divorce. 1490 01:15:43,619 --> 01:15:45,830 I'm sorry, Paul. I can't talk to you when you are hysterical. 1491 01:15:45,854 --> 01:15:47,656 I want to know why you want a divorce. 1492 01:15:50,793 --> 01:15:51,793 Huh? 1493 01:15:54,029 --> 01:15:55,198 Why? 1494 01:15:57,633 --> 01:16:00,103 Because you and I have absolutely nothing in common. 1495 01:16:00,136 --> 01:16:01,670 Nothing in common? 1496 01:16:03,339 --> 01:16:05,441 What about the six days at The Plaza, Corie? 1497 01:16:06,475 --> 01:16:08,277 Six days does not a week make. 1498 01:16:10,646 --> 01:16:12,248 What does that mean? 1499 01:16:15,118 --> 01:16:16,485 I don't know! 1500 01:16:17,820 --> 01:16:19,422 I don't know what it means. 1501 01:16:22,625 --> 01:16:24,660 All I know is that I want a divorce. 1502 01:16:29,365 --> 01:16:31,134 You know, I think you mean it. 1503 01:16:31,167 --> 01:16:32,601 You mean this? 1504 01:16:32,935 --> 01:16:34,103 I do. 1505 01:16:35,404 --> 01:16:36,539 I really do. 1506 01:16:38,574 --> 01:16:39,808 (SNIFFLING) 1507 01:16:41,043 --> 01:16:43,312 That's just... Great. 1508 01:16:46,115 --> 01:16:47,350 (SOBBING) 1509 01:16:51,254 --> 01:16:53,054 I thought you weren't going to cry. Well, I am! 1510 01:16:54,623 --> 01:16:56,101 I'm gonna cry, I'm going to have the biggest cry 1511 01:16:56,125 --> 01:16:58,093 I've ever had in my whole life, 1512 01:16:58,127 --> 01:16:59,828 and I'm going to enjoy it! 1513 01:17:00,896 --> 01:17:02,465 Because I'm gonna cry so hard 1514 01:17:02,498 --> 01:17:04,333 I'm gonna keep you awake all night. 1515 01:17:05,368 --> 01:17:07,603 Good night, Paul. I mean, goodbye. 1516 01:17:21,917 --> 01:17:23,219 (MUTTERING) 1517 01:17:31,594 --> 01:17:33,262 (CORIE SOBBING) 1518 01:17:40,803 --> 01:17:42,671 "Six days does not a week make." 1519 01:17:43,806 --> 01:17:45,441 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 1520 01:17:53,516 --> 01:17:55,818 Here, it's for you. I don't live here anymore. 1521 01:17:56,819 --> 01:17:57,886 (RINGING STOPS) 1522 01:18:01,156 --> 01:18:02,658 Fine. Fine. 1523 01:18:05,093 --> 01:18:08,364 You work and work for a lousy 6 cents. (MUTTERING ANGRILY) 1524 01:18:10,233 --> 01:18:11,767 Doesn't matter. I don't care. 1525 01:18:15,904 --> 01:18:17,240 (MUTTERING) 1526 01:18:20,543 --> 01:18:22,378 I don't know why I even bother. 1527 01:18:22,411 --> 01:18:23,811 There's just no sense, there's no... 1528 01:19:00,283 --> 01:19:01,784 (SNEEZING) 1529 01:19:04,653 --> 01:19:07,055 One pound of grapes. Anything else? 1530 01:19:07,089 --> 01:19:08,557 No, thank you. (SNIFFLING) 1531 01:19:18,133 --> 01:19:19,402 (SNEEZES) 1532 01:19:21,304 --> 01:19:22,705 God bless him. 1533 01:19:25,774 --> 01:19:27,752 If that's for tonight, you needn't bother. I have my own dinner. 1534 01:19:27,776 --> 01:19:29,612 I thought you were moving out. 1535 01:19:29,645 --> 01:19:32,047 I haven't had a chance to look for a room yet. 1536 01:19:32,080 --> 01:19:34,216 I work during the day, you know. 1537 01:19:34,249 --> 01:19:36,218 You'll look tonight. 1538 01:19:36,251 --> 01:19:38,253 I happen to be coming down with a cold. 1539 01:19:38,287 --> 01:19:40,022 That's why I'm home early. 1540 01:19:40,055 --> 01:19:42,991 I just thought I'd take a couple of aspirins and get right into the sofa. 1541 01:19:46,562 --> 01:19:49,097 I'm sure you can find someplace. 1542 01:19:49,131 --> 01:19:50,566 You could stay at your club. 1543 01:19:50,599 --> 01:19:52,635 It's not that kind of a club. 1544 01:19:52,668 --> 01:19:55,438 It's a locker room and a handball court. 1545 01:19:55,471 --> 01:19:57,906 To sleep over, I'd have to keep winning the serve. 1546 01:19:59,342 --> 01:20:01,344 Hello, Mrs. Bratter, Mr. Bratter. 1547 01:20:01,377 --> 01:20:02,378 How's every little thing? 1548 01:20:03,045 --> 01:20:04,547 The little things are fine. 1549 01:20:05,381 --> 01:20:06,882 Shall I charge it, Mr. Bratter? 1550 01:20:06,915 --> 01:20:09,352 Charge it to Mrs. Bratter. It's a new account. 1551 01:20:09,852 --> 01:20:11,454 The grapes are his. 1552 01:20:18,461 --> 01:20:20,363 (CUTLERY CLINKING) 1553 01:20:27,636 --> 01:20:29,438 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) It's open! 1554 01:20:32,074 --> 01:20:33,542 Hi. (PANTING) Hello again. 1555 01:20:34,443 --> 01:20:36,011 Phone's out of order. 1556 01:20:36,044 --> 01:20:38,080 Yeah. I know. 1557 01:20:38,113 --> 01:20:39,948 I wouldn't be up here on a social call. 1558 01:20:41,083 --> 01:20:43,752 Hey, you did a real nice job. 1559 01:20:43,786 --> 01:20:45,187 Thank you. 1560 01:20:45,220 --> 01:20:46,331 Know anybody that might want to rent it? 1561 01:20:46,355 --> 01:20:48,724 Rent it? You moving already? 1562 01:20:48,757 --> 01:20:50,559 Yeah, I'm looking for a smaller place. 1563 01:20:51,760 --> 01:20:54,196 Smaller than this, they're not easy to find. (CHUCKLES) 1564 01:20:54,229 --> 01:20:55,964 So, how do you like married life? 1565 01:20:57,332 --> 01:20:58,801 Very interesting. 1566 01:21:01,570 --> 01:21:03,238 Hello. I'm the telephone man. 1567 01:21:03,271 --> 01:21:04,807 I'm the husband. 1568 01:21:07,810 --> 01:21:10,078 Well, let's see what's wrong with the phone. 1569 01:21:30,132 --> 01:21:31,132 It's dead. 1570 01:21:32,267 --> 01:21:34,102 I know. It was murdered last night. 1571 01:21:39,608 --> 01:21:42,344 I'll be out of here as fast as I can. 1572 01:21:42,377 --> 01:21:44,647 Take your time. Nobody's rushing you. 1573 01:21:51,887 --> 01:21:54,022 Is there any beer in the house? (SNIFFLES) 1574 01:22:00,996 --> 01:22:03,466 I said, "Is there any beer in the house?" 1575 01:22:07,670 --> 01:22:08,971 Would you like me to look? 1576 01:22:10,372 --> 01:22:11,607 There's no beer in the house. 1577 01:22:12,207 --> 01:22:13,742 There is no beer. 1578 01:22:20,348 --> 01:22:21,650 (HARRY GASPS) 1579 01:22:25,320 --> 01:22:26,922 That's my trouble, beer. 1580 01:22:26,955 --> 01:22:29,424 I can drink 10 cans in a night of beer. 1581 01:22:31,927 --> 01:22:33,028 (HUMMING) 1582 01:22:38,300 --> 01:22:39,468 Ah. 1583 01:22:45,107 --> 01:22:46,174 (SNIFFLES) 1584 01:22:52,114 --> 01:22:53,682 My laundry come back today? 1585 01:22:59,387 --> 01:23:01,189 Yes, your laundry came back today. 1586 01:23:02,558 --> 01:23:04,059 They stuffed your shirts beautifully. 1587 01:23:06,962 --> 01:23:08,631 (WHISTLING) 1588 01:23:14,136 --> 01:23:15,671 Would you like a drink? 1589 01:23:16,304 --> 01:23:17,773 (HUMMING) 1590 01:23:18,807 --> 01:23:20,142 I said, "Would you like a drink?" 1591 01:23:20,843 --> 01:23:21,944 Who? You. 1592 01:23:21,977 --> 01:23:23,078 Me? Yeah. 1593 01:23:23,111 --> 01:23:24,111 No. Right. 1594 01:23:30,719 --> 01:23:32,420 (WHISTLING FRANTICALLY) 1595 01:23:32,454 --> 01:23:34,156 Just one more little screw will do it. 1596 01:23:35,858 --> 01:23:37,526 There. I'm finished. I'm finished. 1597 01:23:37,560 --> 01:23:39,161 (TELEPHONE RINGING) Oh! 1598 01:23:44,600 --> 01:23:46,835 Hello. Yes, it is. 1599 01:23:48,503 --> 01:23:50,238 Just a moment. It's Aunt Harriet. 1600 01:23:51,339 --> 01:23:52,459 I don't have an Aunt Harriet. 1601 01:23:57,846 --> 01:24:00,515 I guess you won't be needing me anymore. Goodbye. 1602 01:24:00,549 --> 01:24:02,618 Aunt Harriet, can you hang on a second? 1603 01:24:04,987 --> 01:24:06,521 When do I get it? 1604 01:24:06,555 --> 01:24:07,990 Get what? 1605 01:24:08,023 --> 01:24:10,358 My divorce, when do I get my divorce? 1606 01:24:10,392 --> 01:24:12,871 How should I know? They didn't even send the marriage license yet. 1607 01:24:12,895 --> 01:24:14,196 I want you out of here tonight. 1608 01:24:14,229 --> 01:24:16,298 Right now. Fine. Just great. I'll get my bag. 1609 01:24:16,331 --> 01:24:17,733 I'll pack my wet suits. 1610 01:24:17,766 --> 01:24:20,535 Hi, Aunt Harriet. Yeah, what's wrong? 1611 01:24:21,604 --> 01:24:23,639 I'll go sleep in the park, where it's dry and warm. 1612 01:24:23,672 --> 01:24:25,741 No, mother's not with me. 1613 01:24:25,774 --> 01:24:27,843 Uh-uh, she left about 2:00 this morning. 1614 01:24:28,376 --> 01:24:29,878 Yeah? What happened? 1615 01:24:30,779 --> 01:24:31,779 What? 1616 01:24:33,115 --> 01:24:34,116 Mother? 1617 01:24:35,017 --> 01:24:36,952 My mother? 1618 01:24:36,985 --> 01:24:39,187 Are you sure? What's the matter? What happened? 1619 01:24:39,221 --> 01:24:41,624 No. My phone's been out of order all day. 1620 01:24:42,791 --> 01:24:44,559 Aunt Harriet, listen. Don't get excited. 1621 01:24:44,593 --> 01:24:47,429 I'll call you back as soon as I find out anything. Yeah, goodbye. 1622 01:24:47,462 --> 01:24:48,539 What's the matter with your mother? 1623 01:24:48,563 --> 01:24:49,932 Mother didn't come home last night. 1624 01:24:49,965 --> 01:24:51,333 God, her bed hasn't been slept in. 1625 01:24:51,366 --> 01:24:52,935 I'm gonna call the police. 1626 01:24:52,968 --> 01:24:55,337 Take it easy. Just take it easy. There's nothing to be... 1627 01:24:55,370 --> 01:24:58,373 Don't you understand? Mother wasn't in her bedroom this morning. 1628 01:24:58,406 --> 01:24:59,708 Maybe her back was bothering her, 1629 01:24:59,742 --> 01:25:00,885 and she fell asleep on the ironing board. 1630 01:25:00,909 --> 01:25:03,011 Oh, would you just go away? Just go away. 1631 01:25:04,680 --> 01:25:07,258 Where are you going? Upstairs to find out what happened to my mother. 1632 01:25:07,282 --> 01:25:08,651 And you better not come back 1633 01:25:08,684 --> 01:25:10,485 'cause I'm buying a big dog tomorrow. 1634 01:25:10,518 --> 01:25:12,320 That's fine, just fine. 1635 01:25:12,354 --> 01:25:14,599 Now you'll have somebody to walk barefoot in the park with. 1636 01:25:14,623 --> 01:25:17,392 (LAUGHS) A dog. That's a laugh. 1637 01:25:17,425 --> 01:25:19,662 Wait till she tries to take him out for a walk, 1638 01:25:19,695 --> 01:25:22,135 he'll get one look at those stairs and go right for her throat. 1639 01:25:26,869 --> 01:25:28,737 Mr. Velasco, can I see you for a minute? 1640 01:25:28,771 --> 01:25:31,506 Here is a dog. A little doggie. 1641 01:25:31,539 --> 01:25:34,209 Fortunately, I don't need anybody to protect me, sweetheart, 1642 01:25:34,242 --> 01:25:38,546 because I am a man, independent, mature, 1643 01:25:38,580 --> 01:25:40,683 self-sufficient man... (SNEEZES) 1644 01:25:41,449 --> 01:25:43,085 Oh! God bless me. 1645 01:25:44,586 --> 01:25:46,989 I've probably got the flu. Yeah. 1646 01:25:48,390 --> 01:25:50,158 Chills, fever, sweating. 1647 01:25:51,794 --> 01:25:53,962 Probably have the 24-hour virus. 1648 01:25:56,765 --> 01:25:58,901 Better tomorrow at quarter to 4:00. 1649 01:26:01,203 --> 01:26:02,237 Oh! 1650 01:26:03,338 --> 01:26:04,873 Thanks. Thanks a lot, pal. 1651 01:26:05,808 --> 01:26:08,276 And thus it was written. 1652 01:26:08,310 --> 01:26:11,646 "Some shall die by pestilence, some by the plague..." 1653 01:26:11,680 --> 01:26:14,160 And one poor schnook is gonna get it from a hole in the ceiling. 1654 01:26:17,352 --> 01:26:19,187 (SIGHS) That's it. That's it. 1655 01:26:22,324 --> 01:26:24,026 Bye, leaky closet. 1656 01:26:25,728 --> 01:26:27,229 Bye, no bathtub. 1657 01:26:28,463 --> 01:26:29,798 Bye, hole. 1658 01:26:31,399 --> 01:26:33,001 Goodbye, six flights. 1659 01:26:34,136 --> 01:26:35,637 Oh! Goodbye, Corie. 1660 01:26:35,670 --> 01:26:37,740 Oh, no goodbye? 1661 01:26:37,773 --> 01:26:39,493 According to law, I'm entitled to... Goodbye! 1662 01:26:40,976 --> 01:26:42,344 (SOBBING) 1663 01:26:42,377 --> 01:26:44,046 What? Is it your mother? 1664 01:26:45,147 --> 01:26:46,915 Corie, what is it, an accident? 1665 01:26:46,949 --> 01:26:49,284 Corie, for Pete's sake, what's it about? 1666 01:26:49,317 --> 01:26:51,553 Daughter, listen, it's not the way it looks at all. 1667 01:26:51,586 --> 01:26:52,755 Good God. 1668 01:26:54,122 --> 01:26:56,258 Corie, you've got to believe me. 1669 01:26:56,291 --> 01:26:57,793 Somebody believe me. 1670 01:27:01,596 --> 01:27:02,898 I warned her. 1671 01:27:04,566 --> 01:27:06,634 I warned her, and I was right. 1672 01:27:06,668 --> 01:27:09,037 He warned me, and he was right. 1673 01:27:09,071 --> 01:27:10,705 It must have been the drinks, Corie. 1674 01:27:10,739 --> 01:27:12,574 I had a great deal to drink last night. 1675 01:27:12,607 --> 01:27:15,878 I had martinis, vodka, coffee, black bean soup, and Ouzo. 1676 01:27:19,748 --> 01:27:21,283 That's not my problem. 1677 01:27:21,316 --> 01:27:22,918 I'm well out of it now. 1678 01:27:25,954 --> 01:27:26,955 Ah! 1679 01:27:39,034 --> 01:27:42,237 And after I fell, Victor picked me up and carried me inside. 1680 01:27:42,270 --> 01:27:45,207 I couldn't walk because my shoes fell down the sewer. 1681 01:27:45,240 --> 01:27:46,641 You don't have to explain, Mother. 1682 01:27:46,674 --> 01:27:48,043 He started to carry me up here, 1683 01:27:48,076 --> 01:27:50,078 but his hat fell over his eyes, 1684 01:27:50,112 --> 01:27:52,948 and we fell down the stairs, into apartment 3C. 1685 01:27:53,515 --> 01:27:55,417 I fell on his foot. 1686 01:27:55,450 --> 01:27:57,328 I thought we were gonna have a nice sociable evening. 1687 01:27:57,352 --> 01:27:59,621 Then Mr. Gonzales, Mr. Armandariz, and Mr. Calhoun 1688 01:27:59,654 --> 01:28:01,089 carried us both up there 1689 01:28:01,123 --> 01:28:03,458 and put us down on the rugs. 1690 01:28:03,491 --> 01:28:05,236 When I woke up in the morning Victor was gone, 1691 01:28:05,260 --> 01:28:07,262 and I was there in his bathrobe. 1692 01:28:07,295 --> 01:28:08,696 Oh, Mother! 1693 01:28:08,730 --> 01:28:10,532 I swear that's the truth, Corie! 1694 01:28:15,804 --> 01:28:17,439 (SNIFFLES) Got a cold. 1695 01:28:18,673 --> 01:28:20,408 I've had one for 20 years. 1696 01:28:20,442 --> 01:28:21,776 (SNIFFLES) 1697 01:28:27,582 --> 01:28:28,582 Ah! 1698 01:28:30,552 --> 01:28:33,321 Hey, that's a nice coat you got there. 1699 01:28:33,355 --> 01:28:34,355 What? 1700 01:28:35,623 --> 01:28:37,125 Huh? Your coat. 1701 01:28:39,094 --> 01:28:41,163 I'll make you a trade. What have you got? 1702 01:28:41,796 --> 01:28:43,031 Nothing. 1703 01:28:43,832 --> 01:28:45,267 It's a deal! 1704 01:28:48,036 --> 01:28:50,805 You must believe me. I've told you everything. 1705 01:28:50,839 --> 01:28:52,640 Then where are your clothes? 1706 01:28:52,674 --> 01:28:54,676 That I can't tell you. Why not? 1707 01:28:54,709 --> 01:28:55,786 You won't believe me. I'll believe you. 1708 01:28:55,810 --> 01:28:57,079 No, you won't. I will. 1709 01:28:57,112 --> 01:28:58,981 Mother, where are your clothes? 1710 01:28:59,014 --> 01:29:01,416 I don't know. I don't believe you. 1711 01:29:01,449 --> 01:29:04,052 Didn't I tell you you wouldn't believe me? 1712 01:29:04,086 --> 01:29:05,988 I don't know where they are. 1713 01:29:07,055 --> 01:29:10,258 Corie, I've never been so humiliated in all my life. 1714 01:29:10,292 --> 01:29:13,028 I kept having the most horrible nightmares. 1715 01:29:13,061 --> 01:29:15,130 I kept dreaming my fingers were falling off 1716 01:29:15,163 --> 01:29:17,065 because I couldn't make a fist. 1717 01:29:17,099 --> 01:29:18,166 (GASPS) 1718 01:29:19,367 --> 01:29:20,367 It's me. 1719 01:29:20,668 --> 01:29:21,970 (CRASH) 1720 01:29:27,042 --> 01:29:29,277 Mr. Velasco, are you all right? 1721 01:29:29,311 --> 01:29:31,746 If a broken toe is all right, I'm fine. 1722 01:29:31,779 --> 01:29:32,948 Hello, Ethel. Hello, Victor... 1723 01:29:32,981 --> 01:29:34,449 Mr. Victor. Mr. Velasco. 1724 01:29:34,482 --> 01:29:36,784 I couldn't get up the ladder again. 1725 01:29:36,818 --> 01:29:38,662 Ethel, did you tell Corie what happened last night? 1726 01:29:38,686 --> 01:29:39,955 Why? What happened last night? 1727 01:29:39,988 --> 01:29:41,223 Ooh, last night. Yes. 1728 01:29:41,256 --> 01:29:43,658 Yes. Take his arm, Mother. 1729 01:29:43,691 --> 01:29:46,962 I knew I would come to this, being helped by women. 1730 01:29:46,995 --> 01:29:49,064 (GROANS) Oh, dear, does your foot hurt? 1731 01:29:49,097 --> 01:29:50,966 Compared to my stomach, no. 1732 01:29:51,934 --> 01:29:53,936 I think I have a new ailment 1733 01:29:53,969 --> 01:29:56,471 which I shall call "intestinal volcano". 1734 01:29:57,305 --> 01:29:58,840 Are there little men in there 1735 01:29:58,873 --> 01:30:00,808 running around in spiked shoes? 1736 01:30:00,842 --> 01:30:02,577 And pointy steel helmets, 1737 01:30:02,610 --> 01:30:04,846 and they keep jumping up and down, up and down. 1738 01:30:04,879 --> 01:30:07,015 How long has this been going on? 1739 01:30:07,049 --> 01:30:10,085 It hardly ever happens, except after every meal. 1740 01:30:10,118 --> 01:30:12,054 I knew it. Welcome to my club. 1741 01:30:12,087 --> 01:30:13,688 I think you have an ulcer. 1742 01:30:13,721 --> 01:30:15,790 An ulcer? Me? From what? 1743 01:30:15,823 --> 01:30:18,360 Too many spicy foods. 1744 01:30:18,393 --> 01:30:20,795 You'll have to get used to taking little pink pills. 1745 01:30:20,828 --> 01:30:22,397 Oh, I'd rather die, 1746 01:30:22,430 --> 01:30:24,166 but first I must get rid of this headache. 1747 01:30:24,199 --> 01:30:26,334 Corie, do you have about 300 aspirins? 1748 01:30:29,104 --> 01:30:31,974 You know, Ethel, I don't think I'm as young as I think I am. 1749 01:30:32,007 --> 01:30:34,309 Why do you say that? Well, isn't that obvious? 1750 01:30:34,342 --> 01:30:36,744 Last night, I couldn't carry you up the stairs. 1751 01:30:36,778 --> 01:30:38,413 I can't eat rich food anymore. 1752 01:30:39,114 --> 01:30:40,415 And I dye my hair, my... 1753 01:30:40,448 --> 01:30:42,117 Well, it's very nice. Thank you. 1754 01:30:43,851 --> 01:30:45,653 So are you. 1755 01:30:45,687 --> 01:30:49,057 You know, Ethel, you are a very unusual woman. 1756 01:30:49,091 --> 01:30:50,658 Unusual? In what way? 1757 01:30:50,692 --> 01:30:52,995 VICTOR: I took a long look at you last night. 1758 01:30:53,028 --> 01:30:54,438 Do you know what you are, Ethel? What? 1759 01:30:54,462 --> 01:30:55,597 A good sport. 1760 01:30:55,630 --> 01:30:57,099 Oh, a good sport. 1761 01:30:57,132 --> 01:30:58,900 To have gone all through you did last night. 1762 01:30:58,933 --> 01:31:01,469 The trip to Staten Island, the strange food, 1763 01:31:01,503 --> 01:31:03,671 being carried up to my apartment like that. 1764 01:31:04,039 --> 01:31:05,607 (CHUCKLING) 1765 01:31:05,640 --> 01:31:07,542 If you remember, eh? 1766 01:31:07,575 --> 01:31:09,544 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1767 01:31:15,217 --> 01:31:18,820 Mr. Velasco, where are my clothes? 1768 01:31:18,853 --> 01:31:21,123 Oh, your clothes. Here. 1769 01:31:21,156 --> 01:31:23,591 I'm sure I wore more than that. 1770 01:31:23,625 --> 01:31:25,293 It's a cleaning ticket. 1771 01:31:25,327 --> 01:31:27,162 They're sending them up at 4:00. 1772 01:31:27,195 --> 01:31:28,730 Oh, they're at the cleaners. 1773 01:31:30,198 --> 01:31:32,000 When did I take them off? 1774 01:31:32,034 --> 01:31:34,836 You didn't. You were drenched and out cold. 1775 01:31:34,869 --> 01:31:36,571 Gonzales took them off. 1776 01:31:36,604 --> 01:31:39,207 Mr. Gonzales? Not Mister... Dr. Gonzales. 1777 01:31:39,241 --> 01:31:41,209 Oh, the doctor. Dr. Gonzales. 1778 01:31:41,243 --> 01:31:42,444 I guess that's all right, then. 1779 01:31:42,477 --> 01:31:44,846 How convenient to have an M.D. in the building. 1780 01:31:44,879 --> 01:31:47,382 He is not an M.D. He's a doctor of philosophy. 1781 01:31:47,415 --> 01:31:49,384 (LAUGHING) 1782 01:31:53,855 --> 01:31:55,957 Here. Aspirin. 1783 01:31:55,990 --> 01:31:57,601 No, thank you. I'm feeling much better now. 1784 01:31:57,625 --> 01:31:59,127 I'll take them. 1785 01:31:59,727 --> 01:32:01,663 Well, I must go. 1786 01:32:01,696 --> 01:32:04,332 Someone is calling about renting my apartment. 1787 01:32:05,267 --> 01:32:07,602 From now on, I take elevators. (GROANS) 1788 01:32:09,171 --> 01:32:10,891 Oh, dear, is there anything I can do for you? 1789 01:32:13,041 --> 01:32:15,277 Yes, there is. 1790 01:32:15,310 --> 01:32:17,712 Would you like to have dinner with me tonight? Me? 1791 01:32:17,745 --> 01:32:19,681 That is if you don't mind eating plain food. 1792 01:32:21,316 --> 01:32:24,219 I love plain food. Good. 1793 01:32:24,252 --> 01:32:26,721 I'll call the New York hospital for a reservation. 1794 01:32:26,754 --> 01:32:28,356 I'll pick you up at 7:00. 1795 01:32:28,390 --> 01:32:30,092 Whatever you say, Victor. 1796 01:32:31,559 --> 01:32:34,096 Now, that's funny. I was getting used to Walter. 1797 01:32:38,533 --> 01:32:40,635 You know what I could use right now? 1798 01:32:41,769 --> 01:32:43,037 A double Ouzo. 1799 01:32:46,841 --> 01:32:48,743 What I really could use is a new outfit. 1800 01:32:50,678 --> 01:32:52,280 Mother, can I talk to you? 1801 01:32:52,314 --> 01:32:55,083 Do you realize I slept without a board last night? 1802 01:32:55,117 --> 01:32:56,818 For the first time in years, 1803 01:32:56,851 --> 01:32:58,720 I slept without a board! 1804 01:32:58,753 --> 01:33:00,488 Mother... 1805 01:33:00,522 --> 01:33:03,558 You don't suppose Ouzo is some kind of a Greek miracle drug, do you? 1806 01:33:06,394 --> 01:33:08,372 Mother, there's something I've got to talk to you about. 1807 01:33:08,396 --> 01:33:10,241 Oh, Corie, how sweet of you. You're worried about me. 1808 01:33:10,265 --> 01:33:11,799 I'm not worried about you. 1809 01:33:13,034 --> 01:33:14,369 Oh, my hair. 1810 01:33:14,402 --> 01:33:16,371 I wonder what I could do with my hair? 1811 01:33:18,440 --> 01:33:19,720 Paul and I are getting a divorce. 1812 01:33:21,809 --> 01:33:23,311 A divorce? That's right. 1813 01:33:24,646 --> 01:33:27,081 Paul and I are splitting up for good. 1814 01:33:27,482 --> 01:33:28,683 You and Paul? 1815 01:33:29,717 --> 01:33:31,886 I don't believe you. 1816 01:33:31,919 --> 01:33:33,564 You saw him leaving the apartment with his suitcase. 1817 01:33:33,588 --> 01:33:35,557 What did you think he had in there? 1818 01:33:35,590 --> 01:33:37,359 I don't know, I know how neat he is. 1819 01:33:37,392 --> 01:33:39,194 I thought maybe the garbage. 1820 01:33:40,662 --> 01:33:42,764 Mother, I believe you. Why don't you believe me? 1821 01:33:43,665 --> 01:33:45,367 Because in my entire life, 1822 01:33:45,400 --> 01:33:47,640 I've never seen two people more in love than you and Paul. 1823 01:33:52,574 --> 01:33:54,442 Well, maybe that was true yesterday, 1824 01:33:55,510 --> 01:33:57,879 but it sure isn't true today. (SNIFFLES) 1825 01:34:00,282 --> 01:34:03,618 It couldn't have been all your fault. 1826 01:34:03,651 --> 01:34:08,723 No? Because of me, you were running around without your clothes 1827 01:34:08,756 --> 01:34:10,692 and Paul is out there in the streets with a cold, 1828 01:34:10,725 --> 01:34:12,794 looking for a place to sleep. 1829 01:34:12,827 --> 01:34:14,396 Whose fault is that? 1830 01:34:15,096 --> 01:34:16,331 Yours. 1831 01:34:17,632 --> 01:34:20,202 You want to know something that may shock you? 1832 01:34:20,235 --> 01:34:21,703 I still love you. 1833 01:34:22,770 --> 01:34:24,472 And Paul loves you, too. 1834 01:34:25,607 --> 01:34:26,808 And I love him. 1835 01:34:27,942 --> 01:34:29,977 I don't know what he wants. 1836 01:34:30,011 --> 01:34:31,879 I don't know how to make him happy. 1837 01:34:35,183 --> 01:34:37,752 What am I going to do, Mother? 1838 01:34:37,785 --> 01:34:40,655 That's the first time you've asked my advice since you were 10. 1839 01:34:45,159 --> 01:34:46,861 It's really very simple. 1840 01:34:48,596 --> 01:34:51,833 All you have to do is give up a little bit of you for him. 1841 01:34:53,201 --> 01:34:55,270 Don't make everything a game, 1842 01:34:55,303 --> 01:34:58,273 just late at night in that little room upstairs. 1843 01:34:59,207 --> 01:35:00,942 Take care of him. 1844 01:35:00,975 --> 01:35:03,445 Make him feel important. 1845 01:35:05,247 --> 01:35:08,783 If you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage, 1846 01:35:08,816 --> 01:35:10,785 like two out of every 10 couples. 1847 01:35:12,287 --> 01:35:14,222 You'll be one of the two, baby. 1848 01:35:18,125 --> 01:35:20,228 Now get out of here and go find him. 1849 01:35:20,995 --> 01:35:22,497 I've got a date. 1850 01:35:24,866 --> 01:35:26,866 Aunt Harriet isn't going to believe a word of this. 1851 01:35:28,370 --> 01:35:29,613 If you don't hear from me tomorrow, 1852 01:35:29,637 --> 01:35:31,939 I'll be in the National Hotel in Mexico City, 1853 01:35:31,973 --> 01:35:33,808 room 703. (SNAPS FINGERS) 1854 01:36:43,345 --> 01:36:44,879 (PAUL LAUGHING) 1855 01:36:53,855 --> 01:36:56,358 Paul, it is you! 1856 01:36:58,092 --> 01:36:59,761 I doubt that very much. 1857 01:37:00,795 --> 01:37:01,972 I've been looking for you everywhere. 1858 01:37:01,996 --> 01:37:03,365 Oh, yeah? 1859 01:37:03,398 --> 01:37:05,032 Oh, well, you'll never find me. 1860 01:37:05,066 --> 01:37:06,300 (LAUGHING) 1861 01:37:08,002 --> 01:37:09,771 Your coat! Where's your coat? 1862 01:37:10,438 --> 01:37:13,541 Coat? I don't need a coat. 1863 01:37:15,042 --> 01:37:16,143 It's only two degrees. 1864 01:37:16,177 --> 01:37:17,177 (BOTTLE CLINKING) 1865 01:37:18,646 --> 01:37:20,014 What have you been doing? 1866 01:37:20,047 --> 01:37:23,385 Oh. (LAUGHING) 1867 01:37:24,586 --> 01:37:27,088 What have I been doing? 1868 01:37:27,121 --> 01:37:28,790 Just what have I been doing? 1869 01:37:30,324 --> 01:37:32,394 I've been walking barefoot in the park. 1870 01:37:33,027 --> 01:37:34,496 Paul, you're crazy. 1871 01:37:34,729 --> 01:37:35,729 Shh! 1872 01:37:37,965 --> 01:37:39,801 But guess what I am? 1873 01:37:41,002 --> 01:37:42,103 You're drunk. 1874 01:37:42,136 --> 01:37:43,671 Yeah! (LAUGHS) 1875 01:37:44,305 --> 01:37:45,840 You finally noticed! 1876 01:37:46,273 --> 01:37:47,775 (LAUGHING) 1877 01:37:51,312 --> 01:37:52,914 You're lousy, stinking drunk. 1878 01:37:56,384 --> 01:37:58,453 (VOCALIZING) 1879 01:37:58,486 --> 01:38:01,623 Oh, I see you still have your shoes. 1880 01:38:01,656 --> 01:38:03,625 Boy, what a stuffed shirt. 1881 01:38:07,995 --> 01:38:08,995 Paul, no! 1882 01:38:11,866 --> 01:38:12,866 Paul! 1883 01:38:18,239 --> 01:38:19,474 Paul? 1884 01:38:20,374 --> 01:38:22,376 Paul, are you all right? 1885 01:38:23,778 --> 01:38:25,747 Corie, I got to tell you something. 1886 01:38:25,780 --> 01:38:27,148 No, later. 1887 01:38:27,181 --> 01:38:28,683 No, now. I got to tell you now. 1888 01:38:28,716 --> 01:38:30,718 I got all the way down the stairs, 1889 01:38:31,218 --> 01:38:32,854 suddenly it hit me. 1890 01:38:34,255 --> 01:38:37,825 Suddenly I saw everything clearly for the first time. 1891 01:38:39,527 --> 01:38:41,128 I said to myself, "This is crazy. 1892 01:38:41,162 --> 01:38:43,565 "This is crazy. 1893 01:38:43,598 --> 01:38:46,701 "It's all wrong for me to run away like this. 1894 01:38:46,734 --> 01:38:49,003 "There's only one right thing to do." 1895 01:38:49,036 --> 01:38:50,738 Really, Paul? What? 1896 01:38:51,939 --> 01:38:53,007 You get out. 1897 01:38:53,040 --> 01:38:54,408 (LAUGHING) 1898 01:39:00,381 --> 01:39:01,749 (SNEEZING) 1899 01:39:10,224 --> 01:39:12,827 Why should I get out? The lease is in my name. 1900 01:39:18,800 --> 01:39:20,101 I'm going home. 1901 01:39:25,106 --> 01:39:26,741 Drop in anytime. 1902 01:39:29,076 --> 01:39:30,645 You know my address. 1903 01:39:40,021 --> 01:39:42,857 After all, a man's home is his castle. 1904 01:39:44,191 --> 01:39:46,027 I'm home, castle. 1905 01:39:46,060 --> 01:39:48,530 Oh! Oh, still here? 1906 01:39:49,931 --> 01:39:51,933 Well, I will... 1907 01:39:52,667 --> 01:39:55,603 I will give you 10 minutes 1908 01:39:55,637 --> 01:39:58,640 to pack up your pelmenchki and go. 1909 01:40:00,007 --> 01:40:01,242 (SNEEZING) 1910 01:40:02,844 --> 01:40:04,478 Paul, you're burning up with a fever. 1911 01:40:04,512 --> 01:40:05,947 How about that? 1912 01:40:05,980 --> 01:40:08,049 You're going to get pneumonia. 1913 01:40:08,082 --> 01:40:10,484 If that's what you want, that's what I'll get. 1914 01:40:11,753 --> 01:40:13,988 Paul, would you get these shoes off? They're soaking wet. 1915 01:40:14,021 --> 01:40:16,157 I can't. My feet have swellened. 1916 01:40:16,190 --> 01:40:18,235 I never should have let you out of here. I know you had a cold. 1917 01:40:18,259 --> 01:40:20,027 Corie, I've got an idea. 1918 01:40:20,061 --> 01:40:21,896 Let's do that thing that you said before. 1919 01:40:21,929 --> 01:40:23,631 Let's go wake all the police 1920 01:40:23,665 --> 01:40:26,267 and see if they come out of the crazy neighbors. 1921 01:40:26,300 --> 01:40:29,236 This building is under arrest! Everybody out! 1922 01:40:29,270 --> 01:40:30,605 Paul... What? 1923 01:40:30,638 --> 01:40:32,640 Will you get into bed? You get in first. 1924 01:40:32,674 --> 01:40:33,975 You're sick. Not that sick. 1925 01:40:34,542 --> 01:40:36,010 No, Paul, stop it! 1926 01:40:36,978 --> 01:40:38,179 Stop it. 1927 01:40:38,212 --> 01:40:39,714 I mean it. Stop it. 1928 01:40:43,718 --> 01:40:45,653 Ha! Come here, cutie. Come on, Paul, stop it. 1929 01:40:46,487 --> 01:40:48,756 No! I'm warning you. 1930 01:40:48,790 --> 01:40:51,025 Hey, you're pretty when you're mean and rotten. 1931 01:40:51,058 --> 01:40:52,994 Paul, keep away from me! I'm gonna scream! 1932 01:40:53,027 --> 01:40:54,996 Shh! 1933 01:40:55,029 --> 01:40:56,907 There's snow on the roof. We'll have an avalanche. 1934 01:40:56,931 --> 01:40:59,567 You're not supposed to be walking around. You've got a fever. 1935 01:40:59,601 --> 01:41:01,081 Stand still, the both of you. (SHRIEKS) 1936 01:41:11,245 --> 01:41:13,648 Hey... Open this door. 1937 01:41:13,681 --> 01:41:15,282 I can't. I'm scared. 1938 01:41:15,717 --> 01:41:17,151 Of me? Yes. 1939 01:41:17,184 --> 01:41:18,986 Why? 1940 01:41:19,020 --> 01:41:22,489 'Cause it's not you anymore. I want the old Paul back. 1941 01:41:22,523 --> 01:41:25,259 (SCOFFS) That fuddy-duddy? 1942 01:41:25,292 --> 01:41:27,595 He's not a fuddy-duddy. He's strong and dependable. 1943 01:41:27,629 --> 01:41:29,130 And he takes care of me 1944 01:41:29,163 --> 01:41:30,698 and protects me from people like you. 1945 01:41:32,166 --> 01:41:35,002 I just want him to know how much I love him. 1946 01:41:35,036 --> 01:41:37,839 And I'm gonna make everything here exactly the way he wants it. 1947 01:41:37,872 --> 01:41:39,406 I'll fix the hole in the skylight 1948 01:41:39,440 --> 01:41:41,508 and the leak in the closet. 1949 01:41:41,542 --> 01:41:43,444 And I'll put in a bathtub. 1950 01:41:43,477 --> 01:41:45,122 And I'll even carry him upstairs every night, 1951 01:41:45,146 --> 01:41:47,048 'cause that's how much I love him. 1952 01:41:52,486 --> 01:41:53,655 Paul? 1953 01:41:58,525 --> 01:41:59,694 Paul? 1954 01:42:03,965 --> 01:42:04,965 Hey. 1955 01:42:08,469 --> 01:42:09,603 Paul? 1956 01:42:13,474 --> 01:42:14,575 Paul! 1957 01:42:14,608 --> 01:42:16,778 (YELPS) 1958 01:42:16,811 --> 01:42:18,713 My God, you idiot, you're gonna kill yourself! 1959 01:42:18,746 --> 01:42:20,281 Come down from there. No. 1960 01:42:21,649 --> 01:42:23,785 I want to be a nut, 1961 01:42:23,818 --> 01:42:25,953 just like everybody else in this building! 1962 01:42:25,987 --> 01:42:28,289 (SCREAMS) No. 1963 01:42:28,322 --> 01:42:30,925 No, Paul, I don't want you to be a nut. Come down, please. 1964 01:42:31,258 --> 01:42:32,258 No. 1965 01:42:33,995 --> 01:42:38,432 Not until you've said it again, loud and clear. 1966 01:42:38,465 --> 01:42:39,734 Anything, Paul, anything. 1967 01:42:41,202 --> 01:42:42,269 My husband... 1968 01:42:42,303 --> 01:42:43,637 My husband... 1969 01:42:44,238 --> 01:42:45,272 (SNEEZING) 1970 01:42:46,107 --> 01:42:47,241 Paul Bratter... 1971 01:42:47,274 --> 01:42:48,409 Paul Bratter... 1972 01:42:49,677 --> 01:42:51,578 Rising young attorney... 1973 01:42:51,612 --> 01:42:53,347 (SCREAMING) Rising young... 1974 01:42:55,216 --> 01:42:56,751 Rising young attorney... 1975 01:42:59,453 --> 01:43:01,856 Is a lousy, stinking drunk. 1976 01:43:02,656 --> 01:43:04,358 Is a lousy, stinking drunk. 1977 01:43:05,226 --> 01:43:06,393 And I love him. 1978 01:43:08,629 --> 01:43:10,732 I love you, too, Corie. 1979 01:43:12,233 --> 01:43:15,102 Even when I didn't like you, I loved you. 1980 01:43:15,136 --> 01:43:17,104 Then, Paul, would you please come down from there? 1981 01:43:22,476 --> 01:43:23,978 I can't, not now. 1982 01:43:24,011 --> 01:43:25,011 Why? 1983 01:43:26,013 --> 01:43:27,448 'Cause I'm going to be sick. 1984 01:43:27,481 --> 01:43:28,916 Oh, no! Oh, yes. 1985 01:43:30,785 --> 01:43:32,985 Don't move, Paul. I'm gonna be right up there to get you. 1986 01:43:33,921 --> 01:43:36,157 Would you do that? Because I'm getting panicky. 1987 01:43:36,858 --> 01:43:38,793 Paul, I'm coming. I'm coming. 1988 01:43:40,427 --> 01:43:42,429 Corie? Co... Corie! 1989 01:43:42,463 --> 01:43:43,697 Corie! What? 1990 01:43:43,731 --> 01:43:45,432 What, Paul, what? 1991 01:43:45,466 --> 01:43:46,834 Don't leave me. 1992 01:43:46,868 --> 01:43:48,770 Paul, listen, you're gonna be all right. 1993 01:43:48,803 --> 01:43:50,738 Just hold on tight and try to be calm. 1994 01:43:51,906 --> 01:43:53,908 How? (STAMMERING) What should I do? 1995 01:43:55,309 --> 01:43:57,511 What should he do? What should he do? 1996 01:43:57,544 --> 01:43:58,612 Sing. 1997 01:43:58,645 --> 01:44:00,047 Sing? 1998 01:44:00,081 --> 01:44:01,983 Sing, Paul. Sing as loud as you can. 1999 01:44:02,016 --> 01:44:04,085 And don't stop till I get there. 2000 01:44:04,118 --> 01:44:05,395 You promise me you'll keep singing. 2001 01:44:05,419 --> 01:44:07,221 I promise. I'll keep singing. 2002 01:44:07,254 --> 01:44:08,631 Okay, now don't stop until I get there, Paul. 2003 01:44:08,655 --> 01:44:10,792 I love you, darling. Keep singing, Paul. 2004 01:44:11,525 --> 01:44:12,525 Corie? Corie, Corie! 2005 01:44:13,494 --> 01:44:14,796 Corie! What, Paul? 2006 01:44:15,897 --> 01:44:16,931 What song should I sing? 2007 01:44:18,800 --> 01:44:19,901 Shama, shama. 2008 01:44:22,403 --> 01:44:23,938 Shama? Sing it, Paul. 2009 01:44:23,971 --> 01:44:26,740 (SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 2010 01:44:29,310 --> 01:44:30,310 Shama, shama. 2011 01:44:31,312 --> 01:44:33,214 (PAUL SINGING DRUNKENLY) 2012 01:44:40,654 --> 01:44:42,423 (CONTINUES SINGING) 2013 01:44:59,640 --> 01:45:01,475 What's happening? I don't know. 2014 01:45:01,508 --> 01:45:03,244 They're looking up at this house. 2015 01:45:16,157 --> 01:45:17,291 Oh, Paul. 2016 01:45:25,532 --> 01:45:27,001 Oh, good. They made up. 2017 01:45:36,543 --> 01:45:38,980 ♪ La la la... 2018 01:45:44,018 --> 01:45:48,155 ♪ So come along My barefoot love 2019 01:45:48,189 --> 01:45:51,358 ♪ To the fields that shine with spring 2020 01:45:52,293 --> 01:45:56,030 ♪ Though it's 10 below Let me go 2021 01:45:58,065 --> 01:46:00,534 ♪ Knee-deep in daisies with you ♪