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Bad Man's World
by Jenny Lewis.
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Hi, you've reached the
office of Dr. Stuart Price.
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Please note the office will be closed
until the 24th.
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If this is an emergency,
please try...
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Hi! This is Dr. Stu Price.
I'm getting married.
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So I'll be out of the
country for 2 weeks.
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I'm not sure if I'll
have cell service.
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If this is a dental emergency...
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Nothing.
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Daddy, please! You're not helping!
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I looked into his eyes.
Not the eyes of a man.
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The eyes of a coward.
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Excuse me!
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- Bill!
- Tracy!
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- I'm sorry!
- Where the hell are you?
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It happened again!
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Don't say that, please!
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No this time we really fucked up.
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Seriously! What is wrong with you three?
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So much Trace, I don't even know
where to begin.
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Oh god! How bad?
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- Like, no wedding bad?
- Yeah...
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a little worse than that.
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THE HANGOVER PART II
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ONE WEEK EARLIER
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Uh, huh.
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- You really need to floss more.
- Fuck that! That's why I come here.
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- Then you should come more than once every two years!
- Why? So you can bleed me of all my money?
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I never charge you a dime, Phil!
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- Hey, how do I work the nitrous?
- Ah, you don't actually.
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Come on! Just one hit!
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Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems?
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Yeah, actually. You're getting married
in Thailand.
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For starters, that's flights for me and Steph.
That's two grand right there.
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Then my mother in laws watching the kids. So
now she's got this whole new thing over my head.
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Plus, takes five days to get there.
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It's a 16 hour flight. And it's beautiful
when you get there.
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- Whatever, it's a hassle!
- It is kinda far.
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Lauren's been there a week and she's
still jet lagged.
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But it's where her parents are from and
it means a lot to them.
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Who gives a shit about her parents!
Her dad hates you!
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He doesn't hate me! He's just never
spoken to me...
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...I think it's a cultural thing.
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Why can't you just get married in Vegas like
you did the last time. It's so much easier.
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Why can't you just be excited for me?
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This is my wedding!
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- You're really happy, huh?
- I really am.
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Alright...
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...I'm happy too.
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- Thank you!
- Gonna be fun.
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Phil. Put the prescription pad back.
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- Thank you. You know that's a felony right?
- Fuck you, man!
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- Was this right up against your scrotum?
- Yep.
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- Oh my god, I just realized.
- What?
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- I forgot to renew my passport!
- Oh no...
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Good thing I did it last week. It's in
the kitchen drawer.
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- You're the best!
- Hey! We're a team!
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You're a good guy. Like a really good guy!
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Thank you!
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- So I know you're not gonna get mad.
- Mad? What, mad at what?
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Alan found out that we're going to
Thailand for Stu's wedding.
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- So?
- So he's heart broken Doug. You guys are like his family!
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No. Your family is like his family.
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All Alan talks about is the three of you.
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- And that weekend.
- Wait a second...
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- Is he the one who keeps calling and hanging up?
- He does that when he's upset.
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He doesn't understand why he's not invited.
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Could you just run it by Stu? Just run it by him.
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For me...
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No fucking way! Absolutely not!
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Come on Stu, it's killing him.
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Honestly, the two of you were barely invited.
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I get it. I really do. It's just, you know what...
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Alan considers you to be one of his best friends.
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I consider Alan to be insane.
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Stu, throw him a bone! We've already said he's got to
pay for everything he eats and everything he breaks.
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You know what. We should see if we can squeeze
the old man to cover the bachelor party.
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- That's good.
- I'm glad you brought that up.
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- Because... this is the bachelor party!
- What?
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- What are you talking about?
- Yeah, it's my bachelor brunch!
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Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes... a
lap dance from the waitress...
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That's bullshit! You can't just skip
out of a bachelor party, Stu.
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You see that? That's orange juice with
a napkin on top.
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Do you know why? So nobody will refuse me.
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Why I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe
at a bachelor party?
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- C'mon Stu. Don't you think you're over reacting?
- No, I don't.
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I'm still putting the pieces of my broken
psyche back together.
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And you know what the glue is? Lauren!
I'm not doing anything to screw that up.
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- Oh, please. You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us.
- Oh, this'll be good.
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Stu, think about it!
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You ended up ditching Melissa, and two years later
you met your true soul mate.
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You take Vegas out of that equation, you
would have married a cunt.
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Oh that's ok. I'm allowed to say it. It's
a bachelor party.
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Drink up everybody.
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Oh wait, there's no alcohol! I forgot
we're at a fuckin IHOP!
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Well it's my decision and it's final, so...
how bout a toast?
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This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car.
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- C'mon Phil, where you going?
- Doug, Doug, I just don't get it!
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He's getting married in Thailand! That's
great for him, but what about us?
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You're selfish! Come on, sweetheart...
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Shame on you!
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Don't worry Stu. I will stand up for you
no matter what.
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Thank you.
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But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing.
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Guys, I can't tell you how much this means...
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Alan's been waiting for the invite ever
since he got word of the wedding.
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- I'm sure he has.
- Yeah.
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Been standing outside by the mailbox every day.
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- Well that's tough.
- Yeah.
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I uh, I'm not sure he ever left Vegas.
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He really needs this.
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What?
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Sweetie, papa! You have visitors!
Go in slowly.
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Give him a chance to acclimate.
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- Hey, Alan!
- Hey, guys! Hey, Phil!
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Hey, bud!
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- You guys wanna come in?
- Sure. Absolutely.
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- Hey.
- Hey.
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- Hey, Stu!
- Ok. See you on the court in half...
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- Pretty cool room, Alan!
- Thanks, Phil! My dad pays my rent.
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Alan, what the fuck! You were supposed
to delete these!
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You made a promise!
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Whoa, whoa, whoa!
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What the hell? I'm not cool with this
at all. You can't have these.
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Relax, Stu! Nobody ever comes in here.
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- A total violation of trust!
- Mother I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here!
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I'm sorry, honey. I'll be right up.
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- I can't believe you guys stopped by. This is really cool.
- Wait a second!
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- Al, is that Mr. Chow?
- Yeah. We still keep in touch.
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Stu!
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Chow, the guy that kidnapped us?
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He didn't kidnap us. He kidnapped Black Doug.
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Remember? It was a whole big misunderstanding.
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He's actually quite charming.
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- Alan, he's a criminal.
- Excuse me, boys!
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- Hi, Linda!
- Hi, Dougie!
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I guess we don't do desert anymore. I
didn't get that memo.
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I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back.
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Would a cupcake kill you?
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- You know, I don't think this was a good idea.
- Alan, we have a little surprise for you.
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Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
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- Well only if you're not busy.
- Stu!
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Well maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town.
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Nope. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend.
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Are you really being serious, Stu?
You're inviting me?
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Yeah why not? It's gonna be fun, right?
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- Phil, are you going?
- Of course!
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Then it will be fun.
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What the fuck are you doing, man?
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It's my immunizations. It's the last day
I can do it.
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That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse.
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I'm a nurse. Just not registered.
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Stu, look at this!
I bought this cause I thought of you!
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- Hey, there he is!
- Hey, Stu!
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- Teddy! What's up? How are ya?
- Hey Stu.
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- Alright. Who's this guy, Stu?
- This is Teddy. Lauren's little brother.
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Goes to Stanford. Pre-med. This is
Phil, Alan and Doug.
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Hey, nice to meet you, man!
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Wow, Stanford? How old are you?
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- He's 17. Kind of a genius.
- Actually, I'm 16.
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I'm not a genius. My dad just had me take
the entrance exams early.
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Because you're a genius.
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- So what are you, a doctor?
- No, not yet. I'm premed.
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- Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser?
- Yeah.
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- Well, he turned out to be a gay.
- Alan.
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It's true, I read it in Teen People.
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Right, ok... well I'm gonna grab a book or something
for the plane. You guys want anything?
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- No, thanks. I'm good.
- I would actually love a small water.
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Cool.
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- What's the matter with you. He's 16 years old.
- Yeah, Alan. Take it easy!
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I'm a little confused. Is he here just to
see us off or what. How does this work?
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- How does what work?
- Is that person coming to the wedding?
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Yes Alan. My brides little brother is
coming to the wedding. Is that ok with you?
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Well, it's the first time I've heard of it.
You could have paged me.
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Don't over react. It's gonna be fine.
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- Hey. Mind if I sit?
- Wolf pack only. Find another chair.
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00:13:15,187 --> 00:13:19,191
- There's no wolfpack, Alan. C'mon.
- It's no problem. I'll find...
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- Teddy, don't be ridiculous! You're sitting here!
- Careful, that's a Louis...
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00:13:22,527 --> 00:13:27,157
That is a Louis Vuitton!
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- That's a nice neck roll!
- Thanks! You can use it if you want.
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Ok.
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The Downeaster 'Alexa'" by Billy Joel playing
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Baby!
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This is so absolutely beautiful!
Thank you much!
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00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:08,541
Of course.
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00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:13,170
Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited.
Pretty soon you'll have 2 doctors in the family.
187
00:15:13,254 --> 00:15:17,716
You have to realize that in my country we
don't consider dentists to be real doctors.
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Dad...
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Ok.
190
00:15:20,427 --> 00:15:25,140
Anyway I have to go and talk to Teddy
about his cello performance tonight.
191
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Ouch!
192
00:15:27,267 --> 00:15:28,935
I'm so sorry...
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00:15:28,935 --> 00:15:31,604
Your dad's kind of obsessed with your
brother, isn't he?
194
00:15:31,604 --> 00:15:35,941
Teddy is my dad's prize possession. It's
always been that way.
195
00:15:35,941 --> 00:15:39,278
He'll warm up, I promise! Okay?
196
00:15:39,278 --> 00:15:42,864
You can just fax it over to me. I'll
pick it up at the concierge.
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00:15:42,864 --> 00:15:45,241
Thanks, papa! Bye bye!
198
00:15:45,241 --> 00:15:48,286
That was my dad. I'm a stay at home son.
199
00:15:48,286 --> 00:15:52,498
We were discussing your wedding gift.
He's sparing no expense.
200
00:15:52,498 --> 00:15:54,458
Oh... That's so unnecessary.
201
00:15:54,458 --> 00:15:57,336
I've been meaning to ask someone. I
notice this is a fishing village.
202
00:15:57,378 --> 00:15:59,296
Is there a Long John Silver's on
the island?
203
00:15:59,296 --> 00:16:02,257
You know. No, I don't think so. I'm so sorry.
204
00:16:02,257 --> 00:16:06,052
But, we are actually serving some
great fresh seafood.
205
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,554
- Better than Long John's?
- Yes.
206
00:16:08,554 --> 00:16:13,309
- I'll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening.
- You too. Ok.
207
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:52,386
All right!
208
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:57,599
Thank you, Teddy!
209
00:16:57,599 --> 00:17:00,644
The hands of a brilliant musician!
210
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:05,190
And one day, a great surgeon.
211
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,400
I admit it...
212
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:12,071
When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold.
213
00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:17,034
He seemed unattractive. He lacked
intelligence and imagination.
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00:17:18,702 --> 00:17:23,331
He was missing the spark you look for
in a man.
215
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,127
But then I looked into Stu's eyes.
216
00:17:27,127 --> 00:17:31,672
It reminded me of my sweet brother,
Chai Yo.
217
00:17:31,672 --> 00:17:36,343
For those who do not know, Chai Yo is learning
the sailboat and lives in a group home.
218
00:17:39,555 --> 00:17:42,891
But Chai Yo loves "khao".
219
00:17:42,891 --> 00:17:47,562
And that's when I realized, Stu is "khao".
220
00:17:49,564 --> 00:17:51,232
What is "khao"?
221
00:17:51,232 --> 00:17:55,110
"Khao" is soft white rice in luke warm water.
222
00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:57,404
It has no taste.
223
00:17:57,404 --> 00:18:02,034
We feed it to small baby and uh, very
old people.
224
00:18:02,534 --> 00:18:05,704
It is nourishment that everyone can digest.
225
00:18:05,704 --> 00:18:10,416
The world needs "khao", just as the
world needs people like Stu.
226
00:18:14,128 --> 00:18:17,881
To my sweet daughter and Stu!
Congratulations!
227
00:18:17,881 --> 00:18:22,552
Cheers!
228
00:18:22,844 --> 00:18:27,473
And now I believe that Teddy has
something to say.
229
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:32,353
Sit down! I got this.
Sit down, boy!
230
00:18:32,603 --> 00:18:35,314
That was a.. A great speech, sir!
231
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:40,027
I like the comparison between
Stu and rice.
232
00:18:41,778 --> 00:18:45,365
I've also prepared a few words.
233
00:18:45,365 --> 00:18:48,117
Hey everybody. Here's some fun facts.
234
00:18:48,117 --> 00:18:51,704
The population in Thailand is 63 million people.
235
00:18:51,704 --> 00:18:54,206
It is twice the size of Wyoming.
236
00:18:54,206 --> 00:18:57,960
It's chief exports are textiles, footwear
and rice.
237
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:02,631
Each year approximately 13,000 people are
killed in car accidents in Thailand.
238
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,800
- The climate in Thailand...
- Alan!
239
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:10,513
- Why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy.
- Okay. Sorry!
240
00:19:13,599 --> 00:19:16,310
None of you know Stu like I do.
241
00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:20,981
Not you... not you... not you...
242
00:19:21,940 --> 00:19:26,528
Not nobody knows Stu like I do.
243
00:19:26,528 --> 00:19:28,780
No one!
244
00:19:28,780 --> 00:19:32,366
I can't even tell you what we've been
through cause we made a pact.
245
00:19:32,366 --> 00:19:34,702
More important than blood.
246
00:19:34,702 --> 00:19:39,331
What I can tell you is this. This is
not Stu's first marriage.
247
00:19:39,748 --> 00:19:43,001
There was a whore in Las Vegas
a couple of years ago.
248
00:19:43,001 --> 00:19:46,921
Sit down...
249
00:19:46,921 --> 00:19:51,551
- Enough! He'll get over it!
- Okay. Thanks, Phil!
250
00:19:59,641 --> 00:20:04,354
In your face!
251
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:08,233
Well that was exactly as painful as I
expected it to be.
252
00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:11,277
Sorry...
253
00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:14,572
- Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing?
- HaHa. Very funny!
254
00:20:14,572 --> 00:20:17,032
Be nice, Phil! He's extra sensitive tonight.
255
00:20:17,032 --> 00:20:20,410
Get over it! He's your father in law. He's
supposed to hate you.
256
00:20:20,410 --> 00:20:22,704
Come have a drink with me and the guys.
257
00:20:22,704 --> 00:20:27,375
You know... I'm really exhausted. We're
just gonna go upstairs and crash.
258
00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:30,586
C'mon, I just spoke with the manager. He's
gonna let us have a bonfire on the beach.
259
00:20:30,586 --> 00:20:34,423
That sounds fun!
260
00:20:34,423 --> 00:20:36,425
- Nyah... I'm good.
- He's tired!
261
00:20:36,425 --> 00:20:39,511
Stu, one drink with your friends who
came all this way.
262
00:20:39,511 --> 00:20:42,597
- I just wanna hang out with you!
- Oh c'mon. Just go! And do me a favor.
263
00:20:42,597 --> 00:20:46,851
Take Teddy with you. He never gets to
have any fun.
264
00:20:46,851 --> 00:20:49,395
That is a great idea. Bring the kid.
265
00:20:49,395 --> 00:20:52,315
- Alright. One drink!
- Perfect.
266
00:20:52,315 --> 00:20:54,191
- See you later.
- Have fun!
267
00:20:54,191 --> 00:20:57,236
- You have the key?
- Yep, got it right here!
268
00:20:57,236 --> 00:21:01,865
I'll see you in 20 minutes!
269
00:21:02,199 --> 00:21:05,744
My uncle Roger said that he once saw
an albino polar bear.
270
00:21:05,744 --> 00:21:10,415
Really? Polar bears are white.
How would he know if it's an albino?
271
00:21:11,832 --> 00:21:15,836
This one was black.
272
00:21:15,836 --> 00:21:20,549
Did you ever think maybe it was
just a black bear?
273
00:21:22,217 --> 00:21:24,052
Whatever...
274
00:21:24,052 --> 00:21:28,223
Ok. Here we go. American beer.
275
00:21:28,223 --> 00:21:32,768
- Sealed bottle!
- Thank you. Alright!
276
00:21:32,768 --> 00:21:35,854
- I'm not really old enough to drink.
- Yeah, it's illegal.
277
00:21:35,854 --> 00:21:38,315
Would be a shame if somebody reported you.
278
00:21:38,315 --> 00:21:42,444
Nobody's reporting anybody.
It's fine Teddy. Have a little fun.
279
00:21:42,444 --> 00:21:43,904
Careful!
280
00:21:43,904 --> 00:21:47,782
What is this? Instant marshmallows?
Nice touch!
281
00:21:47,782 --> 00:21:51,786
- That was Alan's idea.
- Good thinking, Al!
282
00:21:51,786 --> 00:21:56,373
You know... I gotta hand it to you, Stu!
This place is paradise.
283
00:21:56,373 --> 00:21:57,624
Not bad, right?
284
00:21:57,624 --> 00:22:02,170
And I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I'm actually jealous of you.
285
00:22:02,170 --> 00:22:05,673
- I mean, Lauren is an angel.
- Yeah, she really is amazing.
286
00:22:05,673 --> 00:22:07,258
Wow, you guys are sweet.
287
00:22:07,258 --> 00:22:11,971
Not big breasts on her. But still, solid
rack for an Asian.
288
00:22:12,346 --> 00:22:15,224
- Sorry, Teddy, but it's true.
- That's ok.
289
00:22:15,224 --> 00:22:17,351
That is just wildly inappropriate.
290
00:22:17,351 --> 00:22:22,064
And yet... I'm really glad you're here.
All you guys. Even you Alan.
291
00:22:24,316 --> 00:22:27,527
It means a lot that you made the trip.
Thank you.
292
00:22:27,527 --> 00:22:30,113
- Wouldn't have missed it buddy.
- Great!
293
00:22:30,113 --> 00:22:34,742
Now. Can we have our one fucking beer, dad?
294
00:22:34,784 --> 00:22:38,579
Alright. Toast! C'mon stand up guys.
295
00:22:38,579 --> 00:22:41,623
Come over here, Alan!
296
00:22:41,623 --> 00:22:44,167
To Lauren and Stu!
297
00:22:44,167 --> 00:22:47,795
- You did it, buddy.
- Sure did.
298
00:22:47,795 --> 00:22:52,466
Cheers!
299
00:24:02,739 --> 00:24:07,452
What the hell...
300
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:47,071
What?
301
00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:10,635
Phil...
302
00:25:10,635 --> 00:25:13,387
I think it happened again.
303
00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:18,016
- Alan, what the fuck did you do?
- I didn't do anything. I swear to god.
304
00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:21,687
Your hair is gone.
305
00:25:21,687 --> 00:25:26,524
No, no... up.
306
00:25:31,862 --> 00:25:36,492
Where the fuck are we?
307
00:25:41,955 --> 00:25:46,584
Phil, I'm scared.
308
00:25:54,633 --> 00:25:59,304
Stu, c'mon get up! We got a situation.
309
00:26:05,894 --> 00:26:10,523
- Oh, holy shit!
- Where are we?
310
00:26:12,024 --> 00:26:16,612
- Oh my god, Alan. Your head.
- No your head!
311
00:26:17,404 --> 00:26:21,450
- Is it bald?
- Stu, you're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be ok.
312
00:26:21,450 --> 00:26:25,120
- Why? Was it my teeth?
- Nope, it's not your teeth.
313
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,746
- Are you sure?
- Yep.
314
00:26:26,746 --> 00:26:31,083
Can you see the bottom?
315
00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:35,796
Oh my god! What the fu... ck
316
00:26:37,339 --> 00:26:40,384
That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off.
317
00:26:40,384 --> 00:26:44,971
It's not coming off. This is a real tattoo!
318
00:26:45,805 --> 00:26:49,058
- Alan, what did you do! Did you Roofie me?
- I didn't do anything!
319
00:26:49,058 --> 00:26:52,770
Stu, he swore to god!
320
00:26:52,812 --> 00:26:57,316
What happened?
321
00:26:57,358 --> 00:27:02,028
Get it off of me!
322
00:27:02,696 --> 00:27:05,657
- What the hell?
- It's a monkey.
323
00:27:05,657 --> 00:27:09,160
What a cute little mask. Hi little monkey.
324
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:13,914
Alan...
325
00:27:13,998 --> 00:27:18,335
Phone! Alan, go find the phone!
326
00:27:18,335 --> 00:27:20,796
I got it!
327
00:27:20,796 --> 00:27:23,924
- Doug, where the hell are you?
- I'm at breakfast. By the pool.
328
00:27:23,924 --> 00:27:28,052
- You guys coming down or what?
- Oh Jesus. Thank god. Doug's fine.
329
00:27:28,052 --> 00:27:32,098
- Stu, Doug's fine. He's at the resort.
- Why aren't we at the resort.
330
00:27:32,098 --> 00:27:33,641
What's going on? Where are you guys?
331
00:27:33,641 --> 00:27:37,436
I do not know, man! We woke up
in some shit hole room in some city.
332
00:27:37,436 --> 00:27:40,981
- Oh god. What city?
- I don't know, Doug!
333
00:27:40,981 --> 00:27:43,733
Fuckin Asia-town.
334
00:27:43,733 --> 00:27:48,363
- I do not know, I told you.
- Where are we?
335
00:27:51,657 --> 00:27:54,368
- Hey Stu.
- What?
336
00:27:54,368 --> 00:27:56,954
Check this out.
337
00:27:56,954 --> 00:28:01,458
Ever seen anything like this?
338
00:28:06,671 --> 00:28:10,508
- What is that?
- Careful. Might be a spiders nest.
339
00:28:10,550 --> 00:28:12,969
I've tangled with those before.
340
00:28:12,969 --> 00:28:17,598
I don't get it man. We each had one beer
last night, right? I mean you too!
341
00:28:18,015 --> 00:28:21,435
- Yeah but I left early, remember?
- I don't remember shit!
342
00:28:21,435 --> 00:28:24,312
Tracy wasn't feeling well. She came
down to get me.
343
00:28:24,312 --> 00:28:28,316
- Wait and second. Is Teddy with you guys?
- Teddy? What? What are you talking about?
344
00:28:28,316 --> 00:28:31,110
He wasn't in his room. They've been
looking for him all morning.
345
00:28:31,110 --> 00:28:33,988
- Teddy went to Stanford, right?
- Yeah. Why?
346
00:28:33,988 --> 00:28:37,366
Fuck!
347
00:28:37,366 --> 00:28:40,994
- I just found his finger!
- What?
348
00:28:40,994 --> 00:28:45,749
- I just found his fucking finger, Doug!
- Phil, what is going on?
349
00:28:46,166 --> 00:28:49,919
Alright. Alright, alright... this is
what we're gonna do.
350
00:28:49,919 --> 00:28:53,047
You tell the girls that we woke up early and went
on a fishing trip, ok. And that's where we are.
351
00:28:53,047 --> 00:28:57,176
- Right.
- Right, stay by the phone!
352
00:28:57,176 --> 00:29:01,763
Shit!
353
00:29:01,763 --> 00:29:05,517
Uh, we got a little bit of a problem.
354
00:29:05,517 --> 00:29:07,936
What is that?
355
00:29:07,936 --> 00:29:10,521
We don't know.
356
00:29:10,521 --> 00:29:15,109
- Is it a worm?
- It's a mushroom.
357
00:29:16,068 --> 00:29:18,779
Yeah, shiitake.
358
00:29:18,779 --> 00:29:21,782
Monkey, taste it! Is it shiitake?
359
00:29:21,782 --> 00:29:26,286
- He can't understand you.
- He just did.
360
00:29:26,286 --> 00:29:29,580
- Why is he pulling on it?
- He's probably hungry.
361
00:29:29,580 --> 00:29:31,958
Wait a second. Is that...
362
00:29:31,958 --> 00:29:36,587
What the fuck man. Tell that gay monkey
to leave my shit alone.
363
00:29:36,795 --> 00:29:38,130
Chow?
364
00:29:38,130 --> 00:29:41,008
You're fucking crazy.
365
00:29:41,008 --> 00:29:45,678
It's so fucking light in here!
Alan, grab me my sunglasses!
366
00:29:46,763 --> 00:29:51,434
- It's great to see you, Leslie!
- Nice to see you too my little popo.
367
00:29:51,601 --> 00:29:53,477
Chow, what the fuck are you doing here?
368
00:29:53,477 --> 00:29:57,022
Alan called me a few days ago and
invited me to the wedding.
369
00:29:57,022 --> 00:29:59,233
- Excuse me?
- What, he's my plus one.
370
00:29:59,233 --> 00:30:01,777
You don't have plus one. It's $200 a plate.
371
00:30:01,777 --> 00:30:04,946
Guys, guys. Just focus, ok.
Chow, what happened?
372
00:30:04,946 --> 00:30:09,575
You guys texted me, said you're fucked
up and looking to party.
373
00:30:15,206 --> 00:30:18,417
I picked you up on my boat and I brought
you here to Bangkok.
374
00:30:18,417 --> 00:30:21,044
But we had a sick night, bitches!
375
00:30:21,044 --> 00:30:25,757
Wait a second Chow, we're in Bangkok?
376
00:30:25,965 --> 00:30:29,177
Holler, city of squalor.
377
00:30:29,177 --> 00:30:33,806
- Do you know how I got this tattoo?
- Uh, yeah from a fucking tattoo guy!
378
00:30:33,848 --> 00:30:36,850
Come on Stu, use that big Jewish brain.
379
00:30:36,850 --> 00:30:41,313
What's the monkey holding?
380
00:30:41,313 --> 00:30:45,316
- That's a finger!
- Stu, I got some bad news.
381
00:30:45,316 --> 00:30:49,987
Teddy was with us last night.
That's his finger.
382
00:30:51,030 --> 00:30:55,659
- Teddy's dead?
- Teddy's not dead! He partied with us all night!
383
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,871
- Well then where is he?
- Don't you remember anything?
384
00:30:59,871 --> 00:31:03,124
- No!
- No, nothing, Chow.
385
00:31:03,124 --> 00:31:06,169
Ok I explain it all, ok?
386
00:31:06,169 --> 00:31:10,840
Just let me do one bump, get my head straight.
Come to papa.
387
00:31:10,965 --> 00:31:15,678
That's a big...
388
00:31:18,430 --> 00:31:23,185
You ready for craziest fucking story ever...
389
00:31:31,901 --> 00:31:35,112
Chow!
390
00:31:35,112 --> 00:31:39,616
Hey Chow, you okay?
391
00:31:39,616 --> 00:31:44,287
You gotta be kidding me.
392
00:31:47,415 --> 00:31:52,086
Fuck, he's dead!
393
00:31:55,339 --> 00:31:57,341
- Help!
- Stu!
394
00:31:57,341 --> 00:32:00,510
- Help!
- Stu, shut up!
395
00:32:00,510 --> 00:32:03,346
- Call an ambulance!
- Shut up! He's dead!
396
00:32:03,346 --> 00:32:06,141
Look if someone comes and finds a dead
body and a pile of cocaine...
397
00:32:06,141 --> 00:32:10,186
We're gonna spend the rest of our fucking
lives in a Thai prison.
398
00:32:10,186 --> 00:32:14,106
Alan! Please don't cry!
399
00:32:14,106 --> 00:32:18,694
Alright. Alright. I just need a second to
figure this out.
400
00:32:33,958 --> 00:32:38,629
ICE MACHINE LOCATED ON 15TH FLOOR.
401
00:32:51,098 --> 00:32:53,184
Look, this is the worst idea, ever.
402
00:32:53,184 --> 00:32:54,935
What the fuck is this place?
403
00:32:54,935 --> 00:32:58,564
Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. Its
population is 12 million people...
404
00:32:58,564 --> 00:33:03,318
Alan, will you help!
405
00:33:06,821 --> 00:33:11,534
- The elevator!
- I'll get the button!
406
00:33:12,827 --> 00:33:17,539
- What the fuck is the deal with this monkey?
- That monkey gets it!
407
00:33:17,915 --> 00:33:19,499
- Come on!
- Fuck no!
408
00:33:19,499 --> 00:33:22,461
The powers out. We gotta take the stairs.
409
00:33:22,461 --> 00:33:27,131
- Oh fuck!
- Come on!
410
00:33:29,133 --> 00:33:31,302
Here it is!
411
00:33:31,302 --> 00:33:35,973
Feet first. I've done this before.
412
00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:44,481
Careful!
413
00:34:00,370 --> 00:34:05,000
- Stu!
- What?
414
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:09,629
- We still have to find Teddy!
- Oh god.
415
00:34:16,468 --> 00:34:18,137
The roof!
416
00:34:18,137 --> 00:34:22,766
Teddy!
417
00:34:29,230 --> 00:34:33,901
- You guys see him?
- No!
418
00:34:40,699 --> 00:34:44,494
He's not here.
419
00:34:44,494 --> 00:34:49,165
I can't believe this is happening again.
420
00:34:50,041 --> 00:34:54,086
Ok, look. We'll handle this. You get
back there.
421
00:34:54,086 --> 00:34:57,589
You tell them that Alan and I got drunk
with him, we're still partying.
422
00:34:57,589 --> 00:35:02,219
- You gotta go get married!
- No! Not going back without Teddy!
423
00:35:02,594 --> 00:35:07,056
He's Lauren's little brother. He's lost,
he's injured.
424
00:35:07,056 --> 00:35:11,686
If I fuck this up, I lose everything.
425
00:35:14,230 --> 00:35:16,649
Ok.
426
00:35:16,649 --> 00:35:19,526
Alright.
427
00:35:19,526 --> 00:35:22,446
- Alan, check your pockets!
- What?
428
00:35:22,446 --> 00:35:25,240
You know the drill. C'mon there might
be clues.
429
00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:29,744
- Check your phones! Numbers, texts.
- That's a good idea!
430
00:35:29,744 --> 00:35:32,872
- I got nothing. Fuck!
- I got an text from Chow.
431
00:35:32,872 --> 00:35:35,666
- What time?
- Uh, 10 o'clock last night.
432
00:35:35,666 --> 00:35:39,795
- What's it say?
- "On my way, Niggahs"
433
00:35:39,795 --> 00:35:44,466
Oh, Niggahs... ok... hip hop.
434
00:35:45,258 --> 00:35:49,512
We are so... fucked!
435
00:35:49,512 --> 00:35:54,100
Hey Phil! Look who's back!
436
00:35:55,893 --> 00:36:00,480
We gotta get you out of the sun. You're
too hot.
437
00:36:01,148 --> 00:36:03,900
Phil, I really think we should go to
the American Consulate.
438
00:36:03,900 --> 00:36:07,278
For what? To report a dead body we shoved
into an ice machine?
439
00:36:07,278 --> 00:36:10,448
What are we gonna do? Keep walking around
in circles? Cause that's real productive.
440
00:36:10,448 --> 00:36:12,950
You know I'm trying to figure this thing
out here and your attitude is not helping.
441
00:36:12,950 --> 00:36:15,995
I'm sorry. It's a 100 degrees and we
don't have a plan.
442
00:36:15,995 --> 00:36:18,247
And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas.
443
00:36:18,247 --> 00:36:20,916
- What, it's a bag of Fanta!
- Alright, what do you want to do, Stu?
444
00:36:20,916 --> 00:36:22,000
I don't know!
445
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,919
Well then stop yelling at me like it's my fuckin fault.
446
00:36:23,919 --> 00:36:25,462
It is your fault!
447
00:36:25,462 --> 00:36:27,839
All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.
448
00:36:27,839 --> 00:36:29,924
Shit! Shut up! It's Doug! Talk to me!
449
00:36:29,924 --> 00:36:33,427
I just got off the phone with Bangkok PD.
They've got him. He's ok.
450
00:36:33,427 --> 00:36:36,555
Oh thank god! Doug found him.
451
00:36:36,555 --> 00:36:38,307
- What happened?
- He got arrested.
452
00:36:38,307 --> 00:36:41,018
- Arrested? For what?
- Disorderly conduct.
453
00:36:41,018 --> 00:36:43,228
- Seriously?
- Yeah! He's ok though.
454
00:36:43,228 --> 00:36:46,940
They'll release him to you. No questions
asked. No one has to know.
455
00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:51,611
He's at the Ratra Wang police station.
456
00:36:52,403 --> 00:36:54,488
Ok. I'll call you when we get there.
457
00:36:54,488 --> 00:36:56,991
Teddy's in jail, but he's fine. We
gotta get a cab.
458
00:36:56,991 --> 00:37:01,661
- Ok!
- Alright!
459
00:37:03,205 --> 00:37:05,874
- Yes, I have his paperwork here.
- Okay.
460
00:37:05,874 --> 00:37:09,752
- He has been treated.
- Sounds good.
461
00:37:09,752 --> 00:37:13,756
We're good. They've processed him for
release.
462
00:37:13,756 --> 00:37:16,216
They put him in the drunk tank. He's fine.
463
00:37:16,216 --> 00:37:19,970
Sixteen years old and spent a night in
jail. Can you imagine?
464
00:37:19,970 --> 00:37:24,724
Haha! We love to party.
465
00:37:25,975 --> 00:37:28,603
Here we go!
466
00:37:28,603 --> 00:37:31,355
- Wait who's this fuckin guy?
- Teddy Sisay.
467
00:37:31,355 --> 00:37:34,400
No, no, no, no. That's the wrong guy! Sir!
468
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:38,987
Excuse me.. I'm sorry. Officer. You brought
the wrong guy. That's not Teddy!
469
00:37:38,987 --> 00:37:42,908
Of course it is!
We have his ID's and everything!
470
00:37:42,908 --> 00:37:45,827
These were in his pocket
when we made the arrest.
471
00:37:45,827 --> 00:37:48,705
They were in his pocket?
472
00:37:48,705 --> 00:37:53,250
Excuse me, sir! How did you get this stuff?
473
00:37:53,250 --> 00:37:54,960
Hello?
474
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:59,590
Teddy doesn't speak. We tried English,
Thai, Chinese... Nothing.
475
00:38:00,215 --> 00:38:02,008
Let me ask you something.
476
00:38:02,008 --> 00:38:06,679
Does he look like he works out at Bally
Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California?
477
00:38:06,805 --> 00:38:11,475
Look. We arrest a lot of people. We cannot
analyze everything.
478
00:38:13,019 --> 00:38:17,689
- What do you expect us to do with this guy?
- Not my problem!
479
00:38:17,815 --> 00:38:22,486
Hey guys, I think he knows us. Hi. Hello.
480
00:38:26,489 --> 00:38:30,743
You know where our friend is, Teddy?
He's missing!
481
00:38:30,743 --> 00:38:34,330
- Stu, forget it. The guys worthless.
- He knows something!
482
00:38:34,330 --> 00:38:37,124
He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt.
483
00:38:37,124 --> 00:38:41,920
Maybe he just doesn't understand. I'll
act it out. Yeah, like charades. Watch.
484
00:38:43,088 --> 00:38:45,507
- Two words.
- Is it a movie?
485
00:38:45,507 --> 00:38:49,260
This is not for you, Alan!
486
00:38:49,260 --> 00:38:53,889
- American teenager... in Asia.
- Karate Kid, with Jaden Smith.
487
00:38:55,599 --> 00:38:58,268
It's easy cause you're talking to him.
488
00:38:58,268 --> 00:39:01,855
Stu, it's a waste of time! Just leave
this fucking guy here.
489
00:39:01,855 --> 00:39:05,692
Here's something. There are 500 thousand
monks living in Thailand.
490
00:39:05,692 --> 00:39:10,446
It is not uncommon for some monks to take
a vow of silence, at the age of eight.
491
00:39:12,031 --> 00:39:13,157
There you go.
492
00:39:13,157 --> 00:39:17,453
- Anything else in that envelope?
- Nah, it's empty.
493
00:39:17,453 --> 00:39:22,207
Woah, hang on. A drink card from White
Lion bar in Bangkok?
494
00:39:23,250 --> 00:39:27,003
Worth a shot.
495
00:39:27,003 --> 00:39:30,006
Jesus christ! Is this the right street?
496
00:39:30,006 --> 00:39:34,677
That's what it says.
497
00:39:37,888 --> 00:39:42,559
- Whoa! This is the White Lion!
- What the fuck happened here?
498
00:39:42,767 --> 00:39:45,311
Holy shit!
499
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:54,069
- Let's...
- We should probably...
500
00:39:56,613 --> 00:39:58,198
That's ok.
501
00:39:58,198 --> 00:40:02,702
What the fuck is going on here?
502
00:40:02,702 --> 00:40:07,332
- Whoa, guys. Check it out!
- Holy shit! Stu, look!
503
00:40:07,957 --> 00:40:12,545
That's my face. Go, go go!
Nice work, Alan!
504
00:40:15,339 --> 00:40:19,968
- Hello?
- Be with you in a minute!
505
00:40:21,803 --> 00:40:25,140
- Excuse me.
- Oh, look who it is!
506
00:40:25,140 --> 00:40:28,810
- So what do ya think?
- What, I'm sorry?
507
00:40:28,810 --> 00:40:33,481
- The tattoo. You love it?
- Uh, no. Actually, I hate it.
508
00:40:33,981 --> 00:40:36,817
- No refunds. Get the fuck out!
- Wait a second!
509
00:40:36,817 --> 00:40:38,485
Read the sign!
510
00:40:38,485 --> 00:40:39,987
NO REFUNDS. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
511
00:40:39,987 --> 00:40:42,531
We don't want any refunds. We just have
a couple of questions.
512
00:40:42,531 --> 00:40:44,574
We're trying to figure out what went
down last night.
513
00:40:44,574 --> 00:40:49,245
What went down? Take a look at what you
did outside. Half the neighborhood went down.
514
00:40:49,245 --> 00:40:52,999
- We did that?
- You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion?
515
00:40:52,999 --> 00:40:57,669
- Starting a full on fuckin riot?
- Sir, we don't remember anything.
516
00:41:02,215 --> 00:41:06,177
Oh boy...
517
00:41:06,219 --> 00:41:10,848
Check this out!
518
00:41:12,099 --> 00:41:16,770
Oh shit!
519
00:41:17,062 --> 00:41:21,775
Fuck the Police!
520
00:41:23,944 --> 00:41:28,573
There's Teddy! He was with us!
521
00:41:39,458 --> 00:41:40,959
Jesus christ!
522
00:41:40,959 --> 00:41:43,670
That's when the cops arrived and started
cracking skulls.
523
00:41:43,670 --> 00:41:46,506
I took you guys and hid you in the
shop here.
524
00:41:46,506 --> 00:41:50,802
Then you decided to get a tattoo.
You cried like a little bitch.
525
00:41:50,802 --> 00:41:53,971
This kid is fucking nine years old. He's
got balls twice your size.
526
00:41:53,971 --> 00:41:57,683
- Show him your balls, Nao!
- No, no, no. That's ok.
527
00:41:57,683 --> 00:42:01,311
Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy.
Have you seen him?
528
00:42:01,311 --> 00:42:03,480
Not since last night. Why? What happened?
529
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:08,151
Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister
tomorrow and we kinda lost him.
530
00:42:08,276 --> 00:42:12,363
- Oh well. Then fuck it!
- What do you mean, fuck it?
531
00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:15,950
Bangkok has him now and she'll never
let him go.
532
00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:19,995
- You hear that, huh? Is this what you
wanted? You happy now?
533
00:42:19,995 --> 00:42:23,415
You're wasting your time. These monks
take their vow shit seriously.
534
00:42:23,415 --> 00:42:28,086
Look at this. That's the sign of the Chang
Mai Monastery, just outside of town.
535
00:42:28,461 --> 00:42:33,174
Maybe somebody over there can get him
to talk.
536
00:42:36,093 --> 00:42:38,846
- Ok, can we just go over this one
more time? You got the beer from...
537
00:42:38,846 --> 00:42:42,766
- The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case.
- Right.
538
00:42:42,766 --> 00:42:46,144
- But, who gave it to you?
- The bartender.
539
00:42:46,144 --> 00:42:48,521
And then you brought em out and
I opened them.
540
00:42:48,521 --> 00:42:51,857
Yeah and Doug had one and he was fine
so it's not the beer.
541
00:42:51,857 --> 00:42:54,276
- So what the hell happened?
- I have no idea!
542
00:42:54,276 --> 00:42:57,696
Hey guys. Check it out. He's got a
Chinese boner.
543
00:42:57,696 --> 00:43:02,325
Alan, come on! Cut it out!
544
00:43:03,201 --> 00:43:07,747
- That is so wrong!
- Don't stop monkey, keep doing it.
545
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:21,635
When a monkey nibbles on a penis
it's funny in any language!
546
00:43:23,011 --> 00:43:26,931
Keep doing it!
547
00:43:26,931 --> 00:43:30,143
Alright, thank you!
548
00:43:30,143 --> 00:43:34,814
Bye Shannon! Bye Little Wayne!
549
00:43:43,113 --> 00:43:47,742
Wow! So beautiful!
550
00:43:47,951 --> 00:43:51,621
What is this, a PF Chang's?
551
00:43:51,621 --> 00:43:54,457
Ah, they're meditating.
552
00:43:54,457 --> 00:43:57,709
- Such a peaceful people!
- Yeah.
553
00:43:57,709 --> 00:44:01,588
- Knock, knock! Hello!
- Alan! Show some respect!
554
00:44:01,630 --> 00:44:05,592
- Don't get up guys.
- We brought one of your guys back.
555
00:44:05,592 --> 00:44:08,386
He's really funny. He's really nice
and cool.
556
00:44:08,386 --> 00:44:13,015
Hi, how you doing. You the one in charge?
557
00:44:14,350 --> 00:44:18,604
- Excuse me... ow... Wait!
- Stop it! Calm down!
558
00:44:18,604 --> 00:44:23,233
Hold on. It's because we're talking.
559
00:44:23,233 --> 00:44:25,819
God damn it! Oh! Stop!
560
00:44:25,860 --> 00:44:28,780
Wait it's me!
561
00:44:28,780 --> 00:44:33,409
Oh I get it.
562
00:44:33,784 --> 00:44:38,539
No talk! No talk! Shh.. Ok...
563
00:44:42,792 --> 00:44:47,463
Ok.
564
00:45:03,562 --> 00:45:08,274
Late last night, you climbed the walls
of our monastery.
565
00:45:08,358 --> 00:45:13,029
Shouting out questions about love, marriage
and the meaning of life.
566
00:45:15,614 --> 00:45:19,201
Poor brother Han was meditating alone
in the garden.
567
00:45:19,201 --> 00:45:23,705
- And you took him.
- Oh my god!
568
00:45:23,705 --> 00:45:28,001
- We kidnapped a monk.
- We live an alternative life style.
569
00:45:28,001 --> 00:45:32,672
We are so sorry about that, but we weren't
ourselves last night.
570
00:45:33,172 --> 00:45:37,885
Yep, things kinda spun outta control a little
bit. But there's a boy who's missing and hurt.
571
00:45:39,261 --> 00:45:42,347
Can you find out if he knows where our
friend is?
572
00:45:42,347 --> 00:45:45,767
Brother Han took a vow of silence many
years ago.
573
00:45:45,767 --> 00:45:47,894
It would be useless to try.
574
00:45:47,894 --> 00:45:51,939
Well maybe he can write down what happened,
on a piece of paper?
575
00:45:51,939 --> 00:45:55,067
Actually Phil, that would be cheating.
Isn't that right, Grand Wizard.
576
00:45:55,067 --> 00:45:57,986
- Alan!
- I'm afraid fatty is right.
577
00:45:57,986 --> 00:45:59,947
See?... What?
578
00:45:59,947 --> 00:46:04,576
None of us will ever know what brother
Han knows.
579
00:46:04,701 --> 00:46:07,954
Oh, alright. Well, so much for holy people.
Bunch of bald assholes. C'mon, let's go.
580
00:46:07,954 --> 00:46:11,958
Hey you know what! FYI! You may want to
put some signs up that say no talking...
581
00:46:11,958 --> 00:46:14,251
- ...before you unleash your dragon.
- Yeah, that was a little rough.
582
00:46:14,251 --> 00:46:17,296
And "your welcome" for bringing him
back safe.
583
00:46:17,296 --> 00:46:20,132
- You know we found him in the drunk tank.
- Yeah well we did take him in the first place.
584
00:46:20,132 --> 00:46:24,803
- C'mon guys, let's go.
- Wait!
585
00:46:24,803 --> 00:46:29,515
The Buddha teach, every memory lives
somewhere deep within.
586
00:46:30,433 --> 00:46:35,104
Perhaps you should bring your question
to the Garden of Meditation.
587
00:46:35,145 --> 00:46:38,315
- Did you understand a word he just said?
- Yeah, yeah. About two thirds.
588
00:46:38,315 --> 00:46:39,942
He said something about the Garden of
Meditation?
589
00:46:39,942 --> 00:46:42,569
No, he said he's farting because of
his medication.
590
00:46:42,569 --> 00:46:47,240
I get that.
591
00:46:49,700 --> 00:46:54,371
It's a waste of time. I don't remember
anything. Do you?
592
00:46:54,622 --> 00:46:59,293
No. I got nothing. Alan?
593
00:47:01,878 --> 00:47:06,341
Alan!
594
00:47:06,341 --> 00:47:09,552
"Every memory lives somewhere deep within"
595
00:47:09,552 --> 00:47:11,304
- Sweetie.
- What?
596
00:47:11,304 --> 00:47:12,805
You have visitors.
597
00:47:12,805 --> 00:47:14,557
- Hey, Alan!
- Hey, guys!
598
00:47:14,557 --> 00:47:16,600
- Hey, Phil.
- Hey buddy!
599
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:18,519
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
600
00:47:18,519 --> 00:47:23,148
- Is this true, Stuart?
- Yeah, why not. It'll be fun.
601
00:47:23,398 --> 00:47:24,482
Fuck!
602
00:47:24,482 --> 00:47:29,153
- For Lauren and Stu!
- Cheers!
603
00:47:30,571 --> 00:47:34,992
- Chow!
- We had a sick night bitches!
604
00:47:34,992 --> 00:47:37,494
Alan, what the fuck!
605
00:47:37,494 --> 00:47:39,454
Is that person coming to the wedding?
606
00:47:39,454 --> 00:47:42,958
- There is no wolfpack.
- Alan, Alan, don't do that!
607
00:47:42,958 --> 00:47:44,626
And finally...
608
00:47:44,626 --> 00:47:49,297
The three best friends anyone could have.
609
00:47:56,345 --> 00:48:00,932
Fuck the Police!
610
00:48:10,233 --> 00:48:14,653
I know where to go.
611
00:48:14,653 --> 00:48:18,532
- What do you think, Alan?
- This is the place.
612
00:48:18,532 --> 00:48:23,245
C'mon. Let's go.
613
00:48:24,746 --> 00:48:27,916
I don't remember any of this!
614
00:48:27,916 --> 00:48:32,586
- Yeah Alan, you sure this is the place?
- Yeah, pretty sure.
615
00:48:39,092 --> 00:48:41,595
Rose! Harmony!
616
00:48:41,595 --> 00:48:43,888
Is he coming or what? I've been waiting
all day for him.
617
00:48:43,888 --> 00:48:48,476
- I'm sorry. Waiting for who?
- Chow, that dick ass fuck!
618
00:48:48,893 --> 00:48:51,854
- Why? What's wrong?
- Nothings wrong.
619
00:48:51,854 --> 00:48:56,483
Ok, good. Look at this. Look what I
bring for him. Check it out, huh.
620
00:48:56,525 --> 00:48:58,861
- No, no!
- $6,000 American.
621
00:48:58,861 --> 00:49:03,531
Wow looks so real!
622
00:49:07,243 --> 00:49:08,870
Sorry!
623
00:49:08,870 --> 00:49:13,416
- Alan, what the fuck!
- It's ok. The gun, it's very sensitive.
624
00:49:14,291 --> 00:49:17,002
Everybody ok?
625
00:49:17,002 --> 00:49:21,715
Ok, then get the fuck back to work!
Come on. Music, please!
626
00:49:22,757 --> 00:49:24,342
Where is my 6,000 dollars?
627
00:49:24,342 --> 00:49:27,971
6,000? No, no, no. This is Chow's deal. We
got nothing to do with that.
628
00:49:27,971 --> 00:49:29,972
Un-fucking believable.
629
00:49:29,972 --> 00:49:33,517
This guy, if he backs out again, the
shits gonna catch up with him.
630
00:49:33,517 --> 00:49:37,187
He's made a lot of enemies in this town,
and now they're gonna be your enemies.
631
00:49:37,187 --> 00:49:38,730
That's not fair!
632
00:49:38,730 --> 00:49:41,108
Ok listen. We're just looking for a
little kid.
633
00:49:41,108 --> 00:49:43,026
- 2,000 dollars.
- What!
634
00:49:43,026 --> 00:49:45,779
I don't know, maybe more. How young you
want this kid to be?
635
00:49:45,779 --> 00:49:50,449
No, no! Sorry, you misunderstood. We're
looking for our friend... 16 years old.
636
00:49:52,326 --> 00:49:54,328
- Teddy.
- Teddy?
637
00:49:54,328 --> 00:49:56,538
- Yeah he was here with you guys last night.
- He was?
638
00:49:56,538 --> 00:49:58,248
Do you know if he left with us?
639
00:49:58,248 --> 00:50:00,792
I don't know. You were in the corner all
night with Kimmy.
640
00:50:00,792 --> 00:50:02,586
- I didn't see you leave.
- Kimmy?
641
00:50:02,586 --> 00:50:05,755
- Is she here?
- Yes, she's in the back. She just came for her shit.
642
00:50:05,755 --> 00:50:07,465
Go and talk to her.
643
00:50:07,465 --> 00:50:09,926
Alright, listen. I'm sorry about everything
that happened.
644
00:50:09,926 --> 00:50:12,261
Listen to me, ok? Pay attention to what
I'm going to talk to you know.
645
00:50:12,261 --> 00:50:16,181
When you see Chow, you tell him Samir
says "Hello".
646
00:50:16,181 --> 00:50:17,016
Okay!
647
00:50:17,016 --> 00:50:21,728
But do it like that, ok! "Hello" like
threatening. Like, ironic.
648
00:50:22,771 --> 00:50:27,400
- "Hellooo"
- Okay!
649
00:50:31,445 --> 00:50:33,447
Go away! Go away!
650
00:50:33,447 --> 00:50:34,532
??
651
00:50:34,532 --> 00:50:38,160
Of course I remember him. He was buying
shots for everyone.
652
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:41,705
Nice kid! His parents must be so proud.
653
00:50:41,705 --> 00:50:43,248
You have no idea.
654
00:50:43,248 --> 00:50:45,708
Ok, so do you remember if he left with us?
655
00:50:45,708 --> 00:50:49,462
Yeah, you were all leaving together, but
you almost forgot this one right here.
656
00:50:49,462 --> 00:50:52,506
Right, super star?
657
00:50:52,506 --> 00:50:56,802
This one was following me around like a
little puppy dog. All night.
658
00:50:56,802 --> 00:51:01,473
Saying he'd fallen in love with me. Asked
me to marry him.
659
00:51:01,890 --> 00:51:04,559
Classic Stu!
660
00:51:04,559 --> 00:51:07,228
- We didn't get married, did we?
- Course not!
661
00:51:07,228 --> 00:51:09,731
We just had some fun in the Chardonnay room.
662
00:51:09,731 --> 00:51:13,192
- What happens in the Chardonnay room?
- Let's just stay on task.
663
00:51:13,192 --> 00:51:17,946
I danced for him. He tickled me. We had sex.
664
00:51:18,530 --> 00:51:21,033
- Fuck!
- It's ok. You're not married yet.
665
00:51:21,033 --> 00:51:22,868
- No big deal.
- It's cheating!
666
00:51:22,868 --> 00:51:25,703
No offense to you. You're a lovely woman.
667
00:51:25,703 --> 00:51:27,914
It's a violation of my moral code.
668
00:51:27,914 --> 00:51:32,501
Don't be sad. Stu you loved it. You were
crying, saying how special it was.
669
00:51:33,210 --> 00:51:36,839
- Wait! I'm sorry. He was crying?
- What a baby. He was crying.
670
00:51:36,839 --> 00:51:41,510
You should have seen him. He was so
sexy. The way he moved around.
671
00:51:41,510 --> 00:51:46,139
I had to ask him to slow down so I didn't
drop my load too quick.
672
00:51:46,681 --> 00:51:51,102
- Load? What load?
- Oh, you know... My sperms.
673
00:51:52,770 --> 00:51:57,149
I think your English is off. You're talking
about my sperm!
674
00:51:57,149 --> 00:52:00,193
- Where would your sperm come from?
- From my balls!
675
00:52:00,193 --> 00:52:04,864
- Hold on! Back up!
- Wait... Are you...
676
00:52:04,989 --> 00:52:06,741
Hey. You're in Bangkok, sweetie.
677
00:52:06,741 --> 00:52:11,412
- There's a reason they don't call it "Bang-cunt".
- Oh!
678
00:52:14,248 --> 00:52:18,961
- Oh god!
- Wow.
679
00:52:19,795 --> 00:52:22,881
I don't get it. Is this a magic show?
680
00:52:22,881 --> 00:52:27,594
Come on, Stu, it was beautiful. We climaxed
at the same time.
681
00:52:27,927 --> 00:52:29,512
How's that work?
682
00:52:29,512 --> 00:52:32,807
Shoot my load into you. Shoot your load
on the floor.
683
00:52:32,807 --> 00:52:37,519
- Ok!
- You ruined me. Ruined bottom.
684
00:52:37,811 --> 00:52:42,524
Oh god!
685
00:52:46,611 --> 00:52:51,282
- Stu! It's not the end of the world.
- Sorry, but I'm so confused.
686
00:52:52,533 --> 00:52:55,744
I made love to a man... with boobies.
687
00:52:55,744 --> 00:52:59,331
Listen. I promise you no ones ever gonna
find out about this.
688
00:52:59,331 --> 00:53:01,041
But we found out about it.
689
00:53:01,041 --> 00:53:03,293
And then we forget. That's what we do!
690
00:53:03,293 --> 00:53:06,588
I do so much fucked up shit. And I just
forget about it.
691
00:53:06,588 --> 00:53:10,133
- Yeah?
- Yeah! Just forget! It goes away!
692
00:53:10,133 --> 00:53:13,219
That might be harder to go away, but in
time it'll happen.
693
00:53:13,219 --> 00:53:17,973
I certainly do. Just gonna forget about it.
694
00:53:18,098 --> 00:53:21,101
- Never happened.
- Great!
695
00:53:21,101 --> 00:53:23,687
Phone! Phone! Who is it? Answer!
696
00:53:23,687 --> 00:53:26,564
Lauren's dad. He just reminded me...
697
00:53:26,564 --> 00:53:28,274
- Answer it!
- I can't.
698
00:53:28,274 --> 00:53:30,943
What! He might know something about Teddy.
C'mon we still have a shot here.
699
00:53:30,943 --> 00:53:35,656
Get your head back into the fucking game, Stu!
700
00:53:38,951 --> 00:53:40,118
Hello?
701
00:53:40,118 --> 00:53:43,413
Who takes an all day fishing trip the
day before a wedding?
702
00:53:43,413 --> 00:53:48,042
- Yeah, I guess that is kinda stupid.
- Put Teddy on the phone.
703
00:53:50,461 --> 00:53:53,297
- Teddy's seasick actually.
- Seasick?
704
00:53:53,297 --> 00:53:58,010
- Teddy's been a Maritime cadet since he was nine.
- That's weird, cause he's puking everywhere.
705
00:53:58,552 --> 00:54:01,763
I'm gonna tell you something that you do
not know.
706
00:54:01,805 --> 00:54:04,933
- I don't like you.
- Yeah, I knew that already.
707
00:54:04,933 --> 00:54:06,768
If my daughter chooses you,
that's her problem.
708
00:54:06,768 --> 00:54:08,519
This is?
Hey it's Phil Winnick!
709
00:54:08,519 --> 00:54:13,065
Listen, I apologize. We've been reelin
in some crazy Marlin and I just wanna say...
710
00:54:13,357 --> 00:54:14,817
Phil!
711
00:54:14,817 --> 00:54:16,568
- Jesus!
- Phil!
712
00:54:16,568 --> 00:54:17,945
Fuck me!
713
00:54:17,945 --> 00:54:21,073
- Give us back our monkey!
- What monkey? Get your own monkey!
714
00:54:21,073 --> 00:54:24,159
Come on, you asshole, the fucking monkey!
715
00:54:24,159 --> 00:54:25,618
Come on!
716
00:54:25,618 --> 00:54:27,870
Anytime, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us!
717
00:54:27,870 --> 00:54:29,038
This is our monkey!
718
00:54:29,038 --> 00:54:31,207
No one's getting shot over a fucking monkey!
719
00:54:31,207 --> 00:54:33,334
Hand him over, now!
720
00:54:33,334 --> 00:54:36,128
God, I've never given him no monkeys.
721
00:54:36,128 --> 00:54:40,340
No, no ...
722
00:54:40,340 --> 00:54:44,094
Hey Phil, check it out. He's got a banana
on his helmet. He's the real deal.
723
00:54:44,094 --> 00:54:45,303
What the fuck's happening?
724
00:54:45,303 --> 00:54:48,264
Hold on! How did this happen? Do you
know where our friend is?
725
00:54:48,264 --> 00:54:52,935
Yeah. Sixteen years old. Asian kid.
726
00:54:53,269 --> 00:54:55,396
No, I don't understand what you said! No, I
didn't understand!
727
00:54:55,396 --> 00:54:57,731
What'd he say?
728
00:54:57,731 --> 00:55:02,235
He said fuck you and your questions!
729
00:55:02,235 --> 00:55:06,072
- Oh, my arm!
- Philip, are you okay?
730
00:55:06,072 --> 00:55:09,909
Oh I got shot! Fuck! Fuck this!
731
00:55:09,909 --> 00:55:11,786
It's alright, Phil! It's alright!
732
00:55:11,786 --> 00:55:14,163
We'll figure this out and get the monkey
back, I promise.
733
00:55:14,163 --> 00:55:18,208
Who gives a fuck about the monkey!
734
00:55:18,208 --> 00:55:22,838
- What the fuck is going on?
- Stu, am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor.
735
00:55:23,964 --> 00:55:27,717
I don't know, let me look!
736
00:55:27,717 --> 00:55:29,927
What?
737
00:55:29,927 --> 00:55:31,429
Don't look at it!
738
00:55:31,429 --> 00:55:34,682
Stuart Price! Get your ass back over here!
739
00:55:34,682 --> 00:55:39,353
- You got shot!
- I know!
740
00:55:51,614 --> 00:55:55,951
- Whoa, you all right?
- Yeah, I'm ok.
741
00:55:55,951 --> 00:56:00,330
Actually, bullet just grazed my arm.
Eight stitches.
742
00:56:00,330 --> 00:56:03,166
Only cost six dollars. How is that even
possible?
743
00:56:03,166 --> 00:56:07,837
How's any of this even possible?
744
00:56:08,629 --> 00:56:13,175
If I was a foot to my left, Stu, I'd be dead.
745
00:56:14,093 --> 00:56:18,722
What are we gonna do?
746
00:56:20,891 --> 00:56:25,061
I'm sorry guys. This wasn't part of the plan.
747
00:56:25,061 --> 00:56:29,774
- What plan, Alan?
- I've said too much already.
748
00:56:37,448 --> 00:56:41,827
Alan! What plan?
749
00:56:41,827 --> 00:56:45,121
- It's all Teddy's fault.
- What are you talking about, Alan?
750
00:56:45,121 --> 00:56:47,457
Why is he even here? He's not part of
the wolf pack!
751
00:56:47,457 --> 00:56:51,043
- Alan, what did you do?
- It's not my fault!
752
00:56:51,043 --> 00:56:54,964
Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag.
753
00:56:54,964 --> 00:56:57,424
- What bag?
- The marshmallows.
754
00:56:57,424 --> 00:56:59,218
I had a separate bag just for Teddy.
755
00:56:59,218 --> 00:57:00,886
But it was dark and it was hard to keep
track.
756
00:57:00,886 --> 00:57:04,180
And then, you almost sat on em. I couldn't
tell which was which.
757
00:57:04,180 --> 00:57:07,559
- It was mayhem!
- What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan?
758
00:57:07,559 --> 00:57:10,228
Alan, what did you do?
759
00:57:10,228 --> 00:57:12,063
Isn't it obvious?
760
00:57:12,063 --> 00:57:16,317
I spiked them with muscle relaxers. And
plus my ADHD medication.
761
00:57:16,317 --> 00:57:18,318
- What?
- You drugged us again?!
762
00:57:18,318 --> 00:57:22,155
Not you! I just wanted to knock out Teddy for a
little while so we could finally enjoy the weekend.
763
00:57:22,155 --> 00:57:26,576
Enjoy the weekend? Alan, you told me that
you didn't do anything!
764
00:57:26,576 --> 00:57:28,328
Alan, you swore to god!
765
00:57:28,328 --> 00:57:30,288
I just wanted things to stay the same.
766
00:57:30,288 --> 00:57:34,917
Like at my face! You ruined my life!
767
00:57:35,042 --> 00:57:36,377
You're not my friend!
768
00:57:36,377 --> 00:57:39,004
Don't say that, Phil! You're serious?
Even in America?
769
00:57:39,004 --> 00:57:42,924
- Yes!
- Oh God! Don't say that, Phil!
770
00:57:42,924 --> 00:57:45,844
- Don't start crying, Alan!
- You're the bearded devil!
771
00:57:45,844 --> 00:57:48,805
You liked it! You smiled at me when I
handed you the bag with marshmallows.
772
00:57:48,805 --> 00:57:53,601
Because I like marshmallows, you
fucking psycho!
773
00:57:53,642 --> 00:57:56,353
Hey! Whoa! Hold on!
774
00:57:56,353 --> 00:57:57,980
Enough!
775
00:57:57,980 --> 00:58:01,024
- Why, Alan? Why?
- Stu!
776
00:58:01,024 --> 00:58:03,568
Because we're the three best
friends, remember?
777
00:58:03,568 --> 00:58:05,278
Remember?
778
00:58:05,278 --> 00:58:09,782
Stu, that's enough...
779
00:58:11,367 --> 00:58:16,080
Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta
stick together.
780
00:58:19,499 --> 00:58:23,670
- Alan, what's that written on your belly?
- What? Huh?
781
00:58:23,670 --> 00:58:26,840
Lebua Hotel, Saturday six pm.
782
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:30,551
- You write that?
- No!
783
00:58:30,551 --> 00:58:33,179
Shit, that's in 20 minutes.
784
00:58:33,179 --> 00:58:35,055
What about England, Phil? Will we still
be friends there?
785
00:58:35,055 --> 00:58:39,726
Alan, I already told you. It was in the heat of the
moment. We're still friends. All over the world.
786
00:58:39,977 --> 00:58:44,606
- Even Great Britain?
- Yeah.
787
00:58:44,814 --> 00:58:47,609
What about you, Stu?
788
00:58:47,609 --> 00:58:50,528
We'll see.
789
00:58:50,528 --> 00:58:55,199
Gentlemen, follow me.
790
00:59:06,501 --> 00:59:11,297
Here you go.
791
00:59:12,214 --> 00:59:14,800
Well. About time! Sit down.
792
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:17,511
Come on, sit.
793
00:59:17,511 --> 00:59:22,057
Wow, you guys look like shit.
794
00:59:22,057 --> 00:59:23,516
- Uh, do we know you?
- Hey!
795
00:59:23,516 --> 00:59:28,146
Take off your fuckin hat. You're in a
restaurant for christs sake. C'mon.
796
00:59:32,066 --> 00:59:34,944
Ok, listen. We have no clue what's
going on here.
797
00:59:34,944 --> 00:59:38,989
You know, they sell a Plum whiskey here,
it's fuckin unreal.
798
00:59:38,989 --> 00:59:43,618
Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up! Oh, I'm
sorry. You guys already got fucked up, didn't you.
799
00:59:47,622 --> 00:59:52,376
- Uh, listen, I'm a little confused. How did you...
- You know what? I am a little fuckin confused!
800
00:59:53,044 --> 00:59:57,589
Where's Chow? With the fuckin account
code and the fuckin password!
801
01:00:04,679 --> 01:00:09,308
We don't know anything about any codes. We're
just trying to find our friend.
802
01:00:12,603 --> 01:00:17,232
- Teddy?
- Yes! Teddy! Have you seen?
803
01:00:20,569 --> 01:00:23,488
Hmm, let's see...
804
01:00:23,488 --> 01:00:25,824
There's Teddy!
805
01:00:25,824 --> 01:00:30,369
Holy shit! It's from last night.
806
01:00:30,369 --> 01:00:33,622
- Who are you?
- I'm a businessman.
807
01:00:33,622 --> 01:00:37,918
And I've invested a large chunk of capital
in your friend Chow.
808
01:00:37,918 --> 01:00:41,755
And in return, he was supposed to transfer
my profits electronically.
809
01:00:41,755 --> 01:00:45,717
About five fuckin minutes ago.
810
01:00:45,717 --> 01:00:50,096
So last night, we took Teddy as insurance.
811
01:00:50,096 --> 01:00:54,767
- Oh my god! Is he okay?
- Oh my god, I wasn't done talking.
812
01:00:56,101 --> 01:00:59,438
You tell Chow, that we are having breakfast
on the roof of this hotel...
813
01:00:59,438 --> 01:01:02,899
...tomorrow morning at eight am.
814
01:01:02,899 --> 01:01:04,943
Or if he makes the transfer, you will
get Teddy.
815
01:01:04,943 --> 01:01:09,655
If not well then hey, you know...
it's Bangkok.
816
01:01:11,157 --> 01:01:15,786
That's your cue to get the fuck out of here.
817
01:01:19,581 --> 01:01:23,084
Hey, you know what? Leave the hat.
818
01:01:23,084 --> 01:01:26,421
Alan leave the hat.
819
01:01:26,421 --> 01:01:31,092
Atta boy.
820
01:01:36,764 --> 01:01:40,267
We're fucked! Chow's dead. What do we do now?
821
01:01:40,267 --> 01:01:44,979
The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow, Stu.
This whole things about a fucking bank account.
822
01:01:45,939 --> 01:01:48,566
Let's just go back to the hotel. We'll
search Chow's body.
823
01:01:48,566 --> 01:01:51,819
Hopefully the password's in his
wallet or something.
824
01:01:51,819 --> 01:01:54,155
- And what if it isn't?
- He's gonna kill Teddy.
825
01:01:54,155 --> 01:01:58,867
Just relax. We have until 8am tomorrow
to figure it out.
826
01:02:00,952 --> 01:02:05,665
First the monkey and now my hat. How
much worse can this day get.
827
01:02:09,669 --> 01:02:14,381
Jesus christ!
828
01:02:18,552 --> 01:02:23,223
Well we're livin here in Alan town. And
he's drivin our lives into the ground.
829
01:02:29,353 --> 01:02:33,607
When we woke up we were wasted and drunk.
830
01:02:33,607 --> 01:02:38,278
Phil got shot. We got beaten by a monk.
831
01:02:41,281 --> 01:02:45,952
I was happy, and my life was good.
832
01:02:46,411 --> 01:02:50,748
Getting married like a dentist should.
833
01:02:50,748 --> 01:02:54,460
Roasting marshmallows on a stick.
834
01:02:54,460 --> 01:02:59,131
I got fucked in the ass... by a girl
with a dick.
835
01:03:01,716 --> 01:03:05,845
Oh yeah, remember that.
836
01:03:05,845 --> 01:03:10,558
And we're livin in Alan town.
837
01:03:12,310 --> 01:03:14,478
There's water everywhere.
838
01:03:14,478 --> 01:03:17,356
Yeah it's cause it melted, Stu. The
fuckin powers out.
839
01:03:17,356 --> 01:03:20,192
With an inadequate electrical grid,
serving millions of people
840
01:03:20,192 --> 01:03:23,486
Bangkok experiences 1500 power
outages per year.
841
01:03:23,486 --> 01:03:25,530
Seriously, Alan. That's enough!
842
01:03:25,530 --> 01:03:30,159
Out of the way!
843
01:03:33,162 --> 01:03:37,750
We got it.
844
01:03:38,917 --> 01:03:42,837
Oh my god!
845
01:03:42,837 --> 01:03:45,673
Chow, calm down!
846
01:03:45,715 --> 01:03:50,344
- You put the chill on me?
- No, no!
847
01:03:51,178 --> 01:03:53,180
It's okay.
848
01:03:53,180 --> 01:03:57,768
Relax!
849
01:04:02,981 --> 01:04:07,110
It's just us. Breathe!
850
01:04:07,110 --> 01:04:08,319
It was so cold.
851
01:04:08,319 --> 01:04:11,614
- We're gonna warm you up.
- I was so cold!
852
01:04:11,614 --> 01:04:16,285
- You did good, buddy. You did good.
- I did good.
853
01:04:20,580 --> 01:04:22,958
Feelin better?
854
01:04:22,999 --> 01:04:25,710
- Alright, you warm enough?
- I don't know.
855
01:04:25,710 --> 01:04:27,587
Come feel my bowels and tell me.
856
01:04:27,587 --> 01:04:30,882
I've been locked in a fuckin ice box
all day!
857
01:04:30,882 --> 01:04:33,509
Hey Alan, if you want my sunglasses...
858
01:04:33,551 --> 01:04:36,553
...just ask Chow. You don't have to kill me.
859
01:04:36,553 --> 01:04:40,557
Chow, nobody killed you. You were already
dead. You didn't have a pulse.
860
01:04:40,557 --> 01:04:42,475
Oh, you never do blow before?
861
01:04:42,475 --> 01:04:45,061
Sometimes your heart stop... start
up again.
862
01:04:45,061 --> 01:04:48,272
- Read a book!
- Look I'm sorry. We're having a bad day.
863
01:04:48,272 --> 01:04:52,360
Oh, you're having a bad day! Did you die?
864
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:55,237
- I got shot!
- But did you die?
865
01:04:55,237 --> 01:04:58,574
Chow, some guy told us that you got
a bank code or something...
866
01:04:58,574 --> 01:05:01,910
...and if we don't bring it to him first
think in the morning...
867
01:05:01,910 --> 01:05:03,328
...he's gonna kill Teddy.
868
01:05:03,328 --> 01:05:07,957
Who, Kingsley? He harmless. Don't worry.
I got the bank codes.
869
01:05:10,418 --> 01:05:15,047
Great! Alright, we gotta meet him at 8am.
Who is that fuckin guy, anyway?
870
01:05:15,381 --> 01:05:18,800
- An investor in my business.
- Yeah, what business is that?
871
01:05:18,800 --> 01:05:21,970
It's called "not your business" ok!
872
01:05:21,970 --> 01:05:25,223
- Oh, where's the monkey?
- The monkey...
873
01:05:25,223 --> 01:05:29,936
Yeah I put the account number and
password in his vest. Where is he?
874
01:05:31,812 --> 01:05:35,274
- Why would you do that?
- Safe keeping, pretty boy.
875
01:05:35,274 --> 01:05:39,945
I got a lotta heat on my ass. I got
FBI, Bangkok PD, Interpol, MSNBC...
876
01:05:42,948 --> 01:05:44,908
That little monkey snorting coke with me
all night...
877
01:05:44,908 --> 01:05:48,036
Jerkin me off while I watched Stu make
fuckin lady boy.
878
01:05:48,036 --> 01:05:51,956
- He not going anywhere.
- We don't have the monkey, Chow.
879
01:05:51,956 --> 01:05:54,792
Oh, some Russian thugs took him from us.
880
01:05:54,792 --> 01:05:57,586
Oh you fucking guys!
881
01:05:57,586 --> 01:06:01,339
Okay. No problem. We just have to get
him back.
882
01:06:01,339 --> 01:06:06,052
- From where?
- From the same place we took him from.
883
01:06:25,153 --> 01:06:29,949
This monkey isn't just normal monkey.
884
01:06:39,958 --> 01:06:43,962
Every night, monkey drug mule.
885
01:06:43,962 --> 01:06:48,633
He take coke to buyer...
886
01:06:49,133 --> 01:06:53,429
And deliver cash to dealer. He
middle man.
887
01:06:53,429 --> 01:06:56,223
Dealer never handle drug directly.
888
01:06:56,223 --> 01:06:59,434
He clean.
889
01:06:59,434 --> 01:07:03,980
- That's terrible.
- Not terrible. What he talking about. Fucking genius.
890
01:07:03,980 --> 01:07:07,650
You ever see monkey go to jail?
891
01:07:07,650 --> 01:07:12,405
We just take the monkey for deal, he come
close, we take his vest. That's that.
892
01:07:12,613 --> 01:07:17,284
- We get some blow too, you know... bump.
- No, no more bumps, Chow.
893
01:07:18,911 --> 01:07:23,081
This is ridiculous.
894
01:07:23,081 --> 01:07:27,710
Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle. Shake your
monkey.
895
01:07:37,302 --> 01:07:38,428
Alright, here we go.
896
01:07:38,428 --> 01:07:43,099
Come on!
897
01:07:44,726 --> 01:07:46,936
How did we wind up with the monkey
last night anyway?
898
01:07:46,936 --> 01:07:49,188
I needed some blow and Alan thought
he was cute...
899
01:07:49,188 --> 01:07:53,901
...so we stole him!
900
01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:03,618
So stupid!
901
01:08:03,618 --> 01:08:05,245
Stu, ready to grab vest?
902
01:08:05,245 --> 01:08:09,791
- Okay. I just grab it?
- Yeah, just do it. Just do it.
903
01:08:09,791 --> 01:08:14,461
- Hey, little monkey.
- Alan, be quiet.
904
01:08:15,671 --> 01:08:19,216
- Fuck!
- We gotta go, right now!
905
01:08:19,216 --> 01:08:23,887
- Pull that fuckin monkey in!
- I'm trying!
906
01:08:26,806 --> 01:08:31,435
Shit!
907
01:08:31,435 --> 01:08:35,522
- Get that monkey in here, Stu!
- He won't let go!
908
01:08:35,522 --> 01:08:38,192
Stu, get back in the car! Right now!
909
01:08:38,192 --> 01:08:42,863
I'm trying! Slow down!
910
01:08:46,366 --> 01:08:50,953
He's so strong!
911
01:08:51,245 --> 01:08:54,165
Let go you fuckin monkey!
912
01:08:54,165 --> 01:08:58,835
- Look out!
- Oh shit! Tight squeeze!
913
01:08:59,836 --> 01:09:04,382
I got him!
914
01:09:04,382 --> 01:09:09,178
- Where's the code, Chow?
- Check his little vest.
915
01:09:11,180 --> 01:09:13,349
- Got it, Alan?
- Yes, I got a.
916
01:09:13,349 --> 01:09:18,061
- Slow down Chow!
- Hold on, J-Birds.
917
01:09:20,188 --> 01:09:23,066
Holy Shit!
918
01:09:23,066 --> 01:09:27,111
Don't worry. I got this shit!
919
01:09:27,111 --> 01:09:31,741
Pig!
920
01:09:32,658 --> 01:09:34,160
Oh, my word.
921
01:09:34,160 --> 01:09:38,789
Sorry, Stu! My bad!
922
01:09:41,208 --> 01:09:43,501
Oh, shit!
923
01:09:43,501 --> 01:09:44,919
Get down!
924
01:09:44,919 --> 01:09:47,422
What the fuck!
925
01:09:47,422 --> 01:09:50,299
Oh no! He shot the monkey!
926
01:09:50,299 --> 01:09:52,927
They shot the monkey.
927
01:09:52,927 --> 01:09:57,556
I'm at my wits end.
928
01:09:57,556 --> 01:09:59,808
He's coming back around.
929
01:09:59,808 --> 01:10:04,521
Look out!
930
01:10:04,729 --> 01:10:09,358
- Holy fuck!
- Oh no...
931
01:10:25,999 --> 01:10:29,127
- Everyone alright?
- Yeah.
932
01:10:29,127 --> 01:10:33,756
I have such an erection right now!
933
01:10:35,883 --> 01:10:40,512
Are you for real?
934
01:10:51,439 --> 01:10:56,068
They're gonna take good care of you
here, ok.
935
01:10:56,110 --> 01:10:59,947
What's that?
936
01:10:59,947 --> 01:11:04,576
Oh, yeah. Cigarettes. Got em right here.
Here you go.
937
01:11:08,705 --> 01:11:12,875
Right here.
938
01:11:12,875 --> 01:11:17,129
Deep breathe. Good.
939
01:11:17,129 --> 01:11:19,673
Soak it in.
940
01:11:19,673 --> 01:11:24,052
Breathe the smoke into your tiny
little lungs. There you go.
941
01:11:24,052 --> 01:11:27,847
It's funny. I've never been much of a
smoker, but...
942
01:11:27,847 --> 01:11:30,099
Boy does it look cool on you.
943
01:11:30,099 --> 01:11:34,728
Alan, c'mon! Let's go!
944
01:11:35,646 --> 01:11:40,233
I'll miss you, monkey.
945
01:11:40,233 --> 01:11:44,070
I wish monkeys could Skype.
946
01:11:44,070 --> 01:11:48,866
Maybe one day...
947
01:11:53,204 --> 01:11:57,749
Come on! Get in!
948
01:12:30,446 --> 01:12:32,406
Are you guys seriously this calm?
949
01:12:32,406 --> 01:12:34,909
Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo.
950
01:12:34,909 --> 01:12:37,077
I give him money, he gives us Teddy.
951
01:12:37,077 --> 01:12:39,663
You ever do anything that doesn't end
up in a standoff, Chow?
952
01:12:39,663 --> 01:12:42,791
I'm an international criminal. It always
ends like this.
953
01:12:42,791 --> 01:12:45,502
I met my wife at one of these things.
954
01:12:45,502 --> 01:12:49,589
- You got a wife?
- Yeah, we married 15 years.
955
01:12:49,589 --> 01:12:53,175
What, I not good looking enough for woman?
956
01:12:53,175 --> 01:12:56,428
No, that's cool.
957
01:12:56,428 --> 01:12:57,471
Let's do this!
958
01:12:57,471 --> 01:13:01,808
- Welcome to the Tower Club.
- Blah blah blah, who cares.
959
01:13:01,808 --> 01:13:06,521
Stop! Chow crossing.
960
01:13:07,522 --> 01:13:10,775
- Hey, Kingsley!
- Well, well.
961
01:13:10,775 --> 01:13:12,735
Propecia looking nice!
962
01:13:12,735 --> 01:13:14,820
You been hitting the gym?
963
01:13:14,820 --> 01:13:18,198
Yes I am actually. Thank you for
noticing, Chow.
964
01:13:18,198 --> 01:13:20,742
Hey, guys. Have a seat.
965
01:13:20,742 --> 01:13:24,162
- Where's Teddy?
- He's waiting downstairs in my car.
966
01:13:24,162 --> 01:13:26,289
Send him up when the transfer is complete.
967
01:13:26,289 --> 01:13:29,083
Tell you what. Give me extra 50 grand, you
keep Teddy.
968
01:13:29,083 --> 01:13:33,796
And I throw in this other fat fuck for free.
969
01:13:33,838 --> 01:13:36,715
- Chow.. Chow...
- Could we move this along!
970
01:13:36,715 --> 01:13:41,261
Alan, account number. Come on, come on.
971
01:13:41,261 --> 01:13:45,974
8-1-4, K as in knife, 2-3-9-8.
972
01:13:52,146 --> 01:13:55,482
- Password?
- "Baloney1"
973
01:13:55,482 --> 01:13:56,984
Your password is "baloney1"?
974
01:13:56,984 --> 01:13:59,903
Well it used to be just "baloney" but
now they make you add number.
975
01:13:59,903 --> 01:14:04,616
Fuckin annoying.
976
01:14:12,623 --> 01:14:15,459
- And it's that easy.
- Ta dah!
977
01:14:15,459 --> 01:14:18,962
Oh look. You sunk my battleship.
978
01:14:18,962 --> 01:14:23,592
- Great, now can we please have Teddy?
- Yeah. Bring him up.
979
01:14:26,761 --> 01:14:30,139
See. We go to your wedding. We have fun. I
bust a nut.
980
01:14:30,139 --> 01:14:34,810
We did it, Stu. It's over!
981
01:14:41,316 --> 01:14:45,945
This is Bangkok police! Everybody down!
982
01:14:46,821 --> 01:14:48,031
Oh, nuts!
983
01:14:48,031 --> 01:14:50,366
Kingsley, you're fucking Five-O?
984
01:14:50,366 --> 01:14:51,826
Gotcha, Leslie!
985
01:14:51,826 --> 01:14:52,910
Get him outta here.
986
01:14:52,910 --> 01:14:57,664
Go! Just do it! Go!
987
01:14:59,291 --> 01:15:01,293
How the fuck...
988
01:15:01,293 --> 01:15:06,130
Samir, you fucked me over six grand?
You camel jockey!
989
01:15:08,091 --> 01:15:11,177
You spit on me?
990
01:15:11,177 --> 01:15:15,598
Six grand this time, eight grand last time.
It's not the money, man, it's the principle!
991
01:15:15,598 --> 01:15:18,559
Principle? Nigga, please! We both dead inside.
992
01:15:18,559 --> 01:15:20,894
Call me nigga... don't call me "nigga"!
993
01:15:20,894 --> 01:15:25,065
- Put em in, motherfucker!
- He's an asshole, man.
994
01:15:25,065 --> 01:15:26,441
You guys ok?
995
01:15:26,441 --> 01:15:29,735
- What the fucks going on?
- Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol.
996
01:15:29,735 --> 01:15:31,028
- You're a cop?
- Yes.
997
01:15:31,028 --> 01:15:33,697
This sting operation has been in place
for weeks.
998
01:15:33,697 --> 01:15:36,325
When Samir told us that your friend
was lost...
999
01:15:36,325 --> 01:15:40,912
We took advantage of that information.
I'm sorry.
1000
01:15:42,164 --> 01:15:46,125
- So can Teddy come out of the car now?
- No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fuckin car!
1001
01:15:46,125 --> 01:15:48,419
They don't have him. They never had him.
1002
01:15:48,419 --> 01:15:52,923
They just needed us to bring them Chow.
They used Teddy as bait.
1003
01:15:53,632 --> 01:15:56,635
- Do you have any leads at all?
- No. We've checked everywhere.
1004
01:15:56,635 --> 01:15:59,554
No one has seen him. I'm sorry.
1005
01:15:59,554 --> 01:16:04,225
If you haven't found him by now, I'm afraid
Bangkok has him.
1006
01:16:08,813 --> 01:16:13,484
Why do people keep saying that?
1007
01:16:13,567 --> 01:16:18,197
Stu... It's time.
1008
01:16:22,200 --> 01:16:24,536
Alan...
1009
01:16:24,536 --> 01:16:28,956
- I'm sorry.
- Don't say that. Please.
1010
01:16:28,956 --> 01:16:33,085
- No this time we really fucked up.
- Oh god! How bad?
1011
01:16:33,085 --> 01:16:36,964
Like, no wedding bad?
1012
01:16:36,964 --> 01:16:41,635
Yeah... a little worse than that!
1013
01:17:04,197 --> 01:17:08,868
Ok, how about this? He fell off
the fishing boat and drowned.
1014
01:17:09,327 --> 01:17:11,954
No.
1015
01:17:11,954 --> 01:17:15,791
Ok, I got it. Teddy was hit by a truck.
1016
01:17:15,791 --> 01:17:18,877
- Alan!
- Not a good time, Phil. Kinda busy!
1017
01:17:18,877 --> 01:17:20,712
How many people get run over here?
1018
01:17:20,712 --> 01:17:24,382
- Over 1200 a year, Phil.
- Perfect!
1019
01:17:24,382 --> 01:17:28,886
His body was too mangled to recover.
Case closed.
1020
01:17:28,886 --> 01:17:31,597
Can I get more ice, please?
1021
01:17:31,597 --> 01:17:33,265
I'm not gonna lie to Lauren.
1022
01:17:33,265 --> 01:17:37,936
- Stu, do you want this or not?
- Look at what I've done, Phil. What I do.
1023
01:17:43,650 --> 01:17:48,279
I have a weakness for prostitutes. All
kinds, apparently.
1024
01:17:52,325 --> 01:17:56,995
- I have a demon in me!
- So what?
1025
01:17:58,330 --> 01:18:01,416
Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren.
1026
01:18:01,416 --> 01:18:03,293
Just let her live her life without me.
1027
01:18:03,293 --> 01:18:04,669
Stu!
1028
01:18:04,669 --> 01:18:08,297
I want you to call Doug and tell him I'm
never coming back.
1029
01:18:08,297 --> 01:18:11,717
Gettin off the hamster wheel.
1030
01:18:11,717 --> 01:18:16,138
Gonna stay here in Bangkok.
I think I belong here.
1031
01:18:16,180 --> 01:18:19,600
Open up a little dentists office.
1032
01:18:19,600 --> 01:18:24,354
Deep cleanings, with a happy ending.
1033
01:18:25,688 --> 01:18:30,318
You sure about this?
1034
01:18:34,363 --> 01:18:38,158
Hey, what the crud!
1035
01:18:38,158 --> 01:18:42,829
Powers out, Alan.
1036
01:18:43,747 --> 01:18:44,956
- Phil!
- Doug.
1037
01:18:44,998 --> 01:18:48,251
- I need answers, man.
- I know...
1038
01:18:48,251 --> 01:18:49,293
Doug, who are you talking to?
1039
01:18:49,293 --> 01:18:50,253
- What?
- Give me the phone!
1040
01:18:50,253 --> 01:18:51,420
Lauren, no! That's a private...
1041
01:18:51,420 --> 01:18:52,546
Who is this?
1042
01:18:52,546 --> 01:18:56,550
- Lauren?
- Phil? Tell me what's going on, right now!
1043
01:18:56,550 --> 01:18:58,468
We lost your little brother.
1044
01:18:58,468 --> 01:19:03,223
- What?
- Bangkok has him now.
1045
01:19:08,895 --> 01:19:10,771
You gotta take the stairs.
1046
01:19:10,771 --> 01:19:15,317
You're in Bangkok?
1047
01:19:16,694 --> 01:19:19,279
Ooh, that's a finger!
1048
01:19:19,279 --> 01:19:21,364
Put Stu on the phone!
1049
01:19:21,364 --> 01:19:24,951
Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages
per year.
1050
01:19:24,951 --> 01:19:27,745
Stu really doesn't want to talk to anybody.
1051
01:19:27,745 --> 01:19:29,205
- Water everywhere. Powers out.
1052
01:19:29,205 --> 01:19:33,834
Come on, Stu, use that big Jewish brain
1053
01:19:34,126 --> 01:19:36,962
Phil! Give me the phone!
1054
01:19:36,962 --> 01:19:38,839
- It's Lauren! I got it! I'm handling it!
- I know!
1055
01:19:38,839 --> 01:19:40,674
- Give me the fuckin...
- I can handle it, Stu!
1056
01:19:40,674 --> 01:19:42,175
She's gonna break your heart!
1057
01:19:42,175 --> 01:19:44,761
Honey, sweetheart, it's me! I'm so sorry!
1058
01:19:44,761 --> 01:19:48,431
Stu? What the hell is going on? What does he
mean you lost Teddy?
1059
01:19:48,431 --> 01:19:53,144
What? Is that what Phil said?
No no no. We misplaced, Teddy.
1060
01:19:53,310 --> 01:19:57,231
But we're all good now. We heading back to the
hotel. We're gonna see you soon!
1061
01:19:57,231 --> 01:20:01,902
I love you so much! And I gotta go, but
I'll see you soon. Bye.
1062
01:20:05,029 --> 01:20:09,367
Stu!
1063
01:20:09,367 --> 01:20:12,203
- Stu!
- God!
1064
01:20:12,203 --> 01:20:14,872
Taxi!
1065
01:20:14,872 --> 01:20:19,459
Come on, Alan!
1066
01:20:19,459 --> 01:20:21,169
Hey, you mind filling us in!
1067
01:20:21,169 --> 01:20:23,713
Ok, now when we woke up, the power was out.
1068
01:20:23,713 --> 01:20:26,132
And you found Teddy's finger in what?
1069
01:20:26,132 --> 01:20:29,218
- In a pool of water.
- But it didn't start out as water.
1070
01:20:29,218 --> 01:20:30,887
No, it was ice.
1071
01:20:30,887 --> 01:20:32,513
Exactly! Teddy got ice from the machine...
1072
01:20:32,513 --> 01:20:35,057
...came back to the room. Put his finger
on ice and fell asleep.
1073
01:20:35,057 --> 01:20:36,058
Now what do you do if you wake up...
1074
01:20:36,058 --> 01:20:38,810
...and you find your finger floating in
a bowl of melted ice?
1075
01:20:38,810 --> 01:20:42,189
I'd get more ice, Stu... on the 15th
fuckin floor!
1076
01:20:42,189 --> 01:20:45,233
Yes! Teddy goes up, the power goes out...
1077
01:20:45,233 --> 01:20:49,904
- Holy shit! Of course!
- He's at the ice machine.
1078
01:20:50,821 --> 01:20:55,534
Alan, no!
1079
01:20:55,701 --> 01:20:57,244
It's on ten!
1080
01:20:57,244 --> 01:20:59,955
- Sir, is the elevator stuck?
-?
1081
01:20:59,955 --> 01:21:04,709
- C'mon!
- Go, go, go!
1082
01:21:05,460 --> 01:21:07,795
Hey, Teddy!
1083
01:21:07,795 --> 01:21:12,466
Look out, look out!
1084
01:21:18,180 --> 01:21:21,391
- Teddy!
- You're ok!
1085
01:21:21,391 --> 01:21:24,352
Teddy, you okay? You ok, man?
1086
01:21:24,352 --> 01:21:27,480
- Where am I?
- You're in an elevator, in the middle of Bangkok.
1087
01:21:27,480 --> 01:21:29,732
But we're gonna get you outta here. It's
gonna be fine.
1088
01:21:29,732 --> 01:21:34,445
Hey Stu, nice tattoo.
1089
01:21:35,154 --> 01:21:36,321
Thanks, man.
1090
01:21:36,321 --> 01:21:38,574
Alright, let's do this! C'mon, c'mon!
1091
01:21:38,574 --> 01:21:43,328
Tell him we found him.
Yeah, I know. But we're on our way. Ok, bye!
1092
01:21:45,371 --> 01:21:50,001
Alright, guests are arriving, people starting
to ask questions, but we can still pull this off!
1093
01:21:50,543 --> 01:21:53,254
- How?
- I don't know, with a taxi?
1094
01:21:53,254 --> 01:21:54,797
- Chow's speed boat.
- What?
1095
01:21:54,797 --> 01:21:57,091
Last think I remember, was getting off
Chow's speed boat.
1096
01:21:57,091 --> 01:22:01,511
- Chow has a speed boat?
- "The Perfect Life".
1097
01:22:01,511 --> 01:22:06,224
C'mon!
1098
01:22:06,599 --> 01:22:10,144
Stu, get that back line.
1099
01:22:10,144 --> 01:22:13,856
Good jump, Phil!
1100
01:22:13,856 --> 01:22:16,066
- You alright?
- Yeah.
1101
01:22:16,066 --> 01:22:18,944
- You sure you know how to drive this thing?
1102
01:22:18,944 --> 01:22:23,698
Please, I was raised in a yacht club. I
know what I'm doing.
1103
01:22:44,217 --> 01:22:46,594
You know where we're going?
1104
01:22:46,594 --> 01:22:48,471
Leave it to the Captain!
1105
01:22:48,471 --> 01:22:51,766
Oh fuck you, Alan!
1106
01:22:51,766 --> 01:22:55,436
Do you know where we're going, Captain?
1107
01:22:55,436 --> 01:22:58,063
Affirmative cadet!
We're going south.
1108
01:22:58,063 --> 01:23:02,817
- We're in the Gulf of Thailand.
- Good.
1109
01:23:22,544 --> 01:23:26,005
Hey! You okay?
1110
01:23:26,005 --> 01:23:29,717
- Feeling a little better.
- Alright!
1111
01:23:29,717 --> 01:23:34,346
Listen Teddy. I'm really sorry! We didn't
mean for any of this to happen.
1112
01:23:34,722 --> 01:23:39,393
It's funny. I can't remember anything
But... when I woke up, I was kinda happy.
1113
01:23:44,689 --> 01:23:47,483
Yeah!
1114
01:23:47,483 --> 01:23:51,112
By the way... Do you have any idea
where my finger is?
1115
01:23:51,112 --> 01:23:55,658
Yeah, we gave it to a drug dealing
monkey.
1116
01:23:56,784 --> 01:23:58,702
Bangkok...
1117
01:23:58,702 --> 01:24:03,331
Yeah, right... fuckin Bangkok!
1118
01:24:15,676 --> 01:24:17,719
I apologize. There will be no wedding!
1119
01:24:17,719 --> 01:24:19,763
He is on his way. He will be here...
1120
01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:24,351
Please, if you will all move to the bar.
We are going to clear this area.
1121
01:24:24,351 --> 01:24:28,604
Please!
1122
01:24:28,604 --> 01:24:33,192
I'm telling you, I spoke to him. He's coming.
1123
01:24:34,860 --> 01:24:39,531
Look! There they are!
1124
01:24:40,866 --> 01:24:45,578
Stu!
1125
01:24:48,039 --> 01:24:50,791
- Alan, there's no dock.
- Just hang on!
1126
01:24:50,791 --> 01:24:53,544
- Alan, it's not funny! Turn the boat!
- Hang on!
1127
01:24:53,544 --> 01:24:56,296
- Is that Alan driving the boat?
- What?
1128
01:24:56,296 --> 01:25:00,175
Uh, we should probably move back a little bit.
1129
01:25:00,175 --> 01:25:02,344
Oh my god!
1130
01:25:02,344 --> 01:25:04,471
Turn the boat!
1131
01:25:04,471 --> 01:25:05,930
Everyone back up a little bit here.
1132
01:25:05,930 --> 01:25:10,601
Sir, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.
1133
01:25:24,447 --> 01:25:28,868
Hi! Hi everybody!
1134
01:25:28,868 --> 01:25:33,581
Came in a little hotter than we planned.
I'm sorry we trenched the lawn here.
1135
01:25:34,123 --> 01:25:36,375
Totally fixable. A little bit of sod, it'll
be fine.
1136
01:25:36,375 --> 01:25:38,335
- Baby!
- Oh my god!
1137
01:25:38,335 --> 01:25:41,713
I'm so happy to see you!
1138
01:25:41,713 --> 01:25:46,342
- Teddy! Teddy here.
- Hi, Dad!
1139
01:25:46,676 --> 01:25:50,304
- You alright?
- Yeah, ok.
1140
01:25:50,304 --> 01:25:53,057
- Your hand!
- I know.
1141
01:25:53,057 --> 01:25:57,144
We had an accident. I'm ok.
1142
01:25:57,144 --> 01:25:58,353
This is your fault!
1143
01:25:58,353 --> 01:26:03,066
- Dad.
- He's right. I have not been completely honest.
1144
01:26:03,191 --> 01:26:04,692
- Stu? Don't do this.
- Yeah?
1145
01:26:04,692 --> 01:26:07,403
Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it.
1146
01:26:07,403 --> 01:26:12,074
You said I'm a joke.Well I'm not.
1147
01:26:12,241 --> 01:26:16,870
I'm not some weird, milky, ricy, watery
that you feed to infants and old people, ok!
1148
01:26:19,665 --> 01:26:24,336
Maybe I would be if you added some
cayenne pepper!
1149
01:26:25,962 --> 01:26:27,714
I wish I was a boring dentist...
1150
01:26:27,714 --> 01:26:29,882
...who had a boring life and boring friends...
1151
01:26:29,882 --> 01:26:32,343
...but I don't and I'm not.
1152
01:26:32,343 --> 01:26:34,762
I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack.
1153
01:26:34,762 --> 01:26:38,140
It's not weird. It's pretty cool
actually. No membership fees.
1154
01:26:38,140 --> 01:26:40,767
I've had enough of this. Come here.
1155
01:26:40,767 --> 01:26:44,979
Whoa! Here's the deal man.
1156
01:26:44,979 --> 01:26:48,691
- I got a dark side!
1157
01:26:48,691 --> 01:26:51,444
There's a demon in me!
1158
01:26:51,444 --> 01:26:54,113
It's true, he has semen in him.
1159
01:26:54,113 --> 01:26:55,823
I said demon.
1160
01:26:55,823 --> 01:27:00,577
- But you also have semen in you, remember?
- Not relevant, but thank you, Alan.
1161
01:27:02,287 --> 01:27:07,000
The point is, this demon takes me to
some pretty weird places.
1162
01:27:07,917 --> 01:27:11,629
We lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok.
1163
01:27:11,629 --> 01:27:15,549
But that same demon took us to
hell and back to find him.
1164
01:27:15,549 --> 01:27:18,135
We took on Bangkok and we won.
1165
01:27:18,135 --> 01:27:22,764
Now that's pretty fuckin cool if you ask me!
1166
01:27:25,517 --> 01:27:29,645
I love your daughter, and I'm
gonna marry her.
1167
01:27:29,645 --> 01:27:33,649
- Unless you have any problem with that?
- I'm good.
1168
01:27:33,649 --> 01:27:38,320
But all that said, it would actually mean
a great deal to both of us...
1169
01:27:38,612 --> 01:27:43,366
...if we could just get your mother fucking
blessing!
1170
01:27:58,005 --> 01:28:00,590
Hey, Alan...
1171
01:28:00,590 --> 01:28:05,011
- That looks pretty cool shaved.
- Thanks, Phil.
1172
01:28:05,011 --> 01:28:06,888
You should shave your head too.
1173
01:28:06,888 --> 01:28:11,517
- Why would I do that?
- Well than we would look exactly alike.
1174
01:28:21,568 --> 01:28:26,281
- Take good care of my daughter, Stu.
- I will.
1175
01:28:32,912 --> 01:28:35,414
I'm sorry we almost killed everyone with
the boat.
1176
01:28:35,414 --> 01:28:39,876
Just happy you're here.
1177
01:28:39,876 --> 01:28:43,588
And don't worry about the tattoo. I'm gonna
have it lasered as soon as we're home in LA.
1178
01:28:43,588 --> 01:28:48,176
- That's ok. I can get used to it.
- Really?
1179
01:28:50,511 --> 01:28:52,722
But for now, let's switch sides?
1180
01:28:52,722 --> 01:28:56,183
- Yeah, ok.
- Thank you.
1181
01:28:56,183 --> 01:28:58,852
Much better.
1182
01:28:58,852 --> 01:29:02,731
Dear family and friends. On behalf of Stu and Lauren...
1183
01:29:02,731 --> 01:29:07,277
...I welcome all of you, to this
marriage celebration.
1184
01:29:07,277 --> 01:29:11,947
We are here today to...
1185
01:30:03,244 --> 01:30:05,997
Hey buddy. Can you hold on for a second.
1186
01:30:05,997 --> 01:30:10,585
Thank you.
1187
01:30:14,588 --> 01:30:18,508
Hello? Hi everyone!
1188
01:30:18,508 --> 01:30:21,052
My name's Alan Garner.
1189
01:30:21,052 --> 01:30:25,765
I want to thank the Asiatic people for
allowing us in your land.
1190
01:30:28,518 --> 01:30:32,813
I wanted to say that, um, I'm really
happy to be here...
1191
01:30:32,813 --> 01:30:37,443
...and I have a wedding gift to present
to Lauren and Stu.
1192
01:30:37,776 --> 01:30:40,570
And um, a lot of thought has gone into this...
1193
01:30:40,570 --> 01:30:45,241
...and I hope that you appreciate it as
much as I did, or going to.
1194
01:30:45,241 --> 01:30:49,912
Okay, guys!
1195
01:31:03,717 --> 01:31:08,388
Oh, fuck!
1196
01:31:25,778 --> 01:31:28,906
Alan!
1197
01:31:28,906 --> 01:31:31,075
What the fuck?
1198
01:31:31,075 --> 01:31:34,328
- So what do ya think?
- That's insane! How did you do that?
1199
01:31:34,328 --> 01:31:36,038
My dad had to make a lot of calls.
1200
01:31:36,038 --> 01:31:40,125
I told Mike that you gotta do it. It's
for my third best friend.
1201
01:31:40,125 --> 01:31:44,170
Alan, it's amazing!
I love it! Thank you so much!
1202
01:31:44,170 --> 01:31:48,132
We only have him for tonight. We don't
have him permanently.
1203
01:31:48,132 --> 01:31:52,678
Understood!
1204
01:32:04,773 --> 01:32:08,776
- You do a lot of public speaking, Alan?
- I barely?
1205
01:32:08,776 --> 01:32:13,489
Mike, you were great. It's true, that
was incredible.
1206
01:32:13,572 --> 01:32:16,533
Thanks, guys. That means a lot, really!
1207
01:32:16,533 --> 01:32:20,203
By the way, you really need to remove that
fuckin tattoo from your face!
1208
01:32:20,203 --> 01:32:24,249
Yeah! On it!
1209
01:32:24,249 --> 01:32:26,543
Sorry about the last minute change up
to the performance, Mike.
1210
01:32:26,543 --> 01:32:28,336
- Don't worry, Alan.
- What are you talking about?
1211
01:32:28,336 --> 01:32:31,005
Well he was originally supposed to sing
"Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers...
1212
01:32:31,005 --> 01:32:33,841
...but then I remembered you don't like indie rock.
1213
01:32:33,841 --> 01:32:36,260
Hey guys. You're not gonna believe this.
1214
01:32:36,260 --> 01:32:38,637
- Is that your phone?
- Yeah.
1215
01:32:38,637 --> 01:32:40,597
How come you never tried calling us?
1216
01:32:40,597 --> 01:32:42,390
It's been dead for two days.
1217
01:32:42,390 --> 01:32:44,768
But I recharged it and found all
these photos.
1218
01:32:44,768 --> 01:32:46,102
What?
1219
01:32:46,102 --> 01:32:48,146
- Shit!
- Yeah, some of it's pretty messed up.
1220
01:32:48,146 --> 01:32:51,065
- Awesome, let's check em out.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1221
01:32:51,065 --> 01:32:52,691
No one needs to see this stuff!
1222
01:32:52,691 --> 01:32:55,569
C'mon man! I'm Mike Tyson. I've seen everything!
1223
01:32:55,569 --> 01:32:59,114
It'll be fine.
1224
01:32:59,114 --> 01:33:03,618
- Alright, we look at it once.
- And then we delete them. It's gonna be ok.
1225
01:33:05,078 --> 01:33:09,790
- Oh, ooh!
- Mother fucker!