1
00:00:24,718 --> 00:00:29,718
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
2
00:00:43,226 --> 00:00:44,792
You were incredible.
3
00:00:45,425 --> 00:00:47,659
My heart is still racing.
4
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:50,792
I felt it too.
5
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,825
All thanks
to your brute strength, Dash,
6
00:00:52,959 --> 00:00:56,026
and your knowledge
of ancient Aramaic mathematics.
7
00:00:56,159 --> 00:00:59,026
Please. This has nothing to do
with my two doctorates
8
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:01,259
and my master's
in Gender Studies
9
00:01:02,126 --> 00:01:05,126
and everything to do
with you, Dr. Lovemore.
10
00:01:05,558 --> 00:01:07,425
The truth is,
11
00:01:07,558 --> 00:01:09,892
I never thought I would find
the Lost City of D.
12
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,959
I would choose your words carefully.
13
00:01:13,092 --> 00:01:14,792
They will be your last.
14
00:01:14,926 --> 00:01:18,659
You led me right
to King Kalaman's tomb
15
00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:22,359
and his queen's
legendary Crown of Fire.
16
00:01:22,525 --> 00:01:25,359
And now I will be very rich,
17
00:01:25,492 --> 00:01:28,226
and you will be very dead.
18
00:01:29,126 --> 00:01:32,492
Hold up. Are these...
Are these your snakes?
19
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:34,192
No, they were just here.
20
00:01:34,326 --> 00:01:36,759
There were just hundreds
of snakes in this temple
21
00:01:36,892 --> 00:01:38,725
just waiting for us
to show up?
22
00:01:38,859 --> 00:01:40,926
- Who feeds them? You feed them?
- No, what do they eat?
23
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,226
Why is that one not biting that guy?
Why is that happening?
24
00:01:43,359 --> 00:01:46,192
- Are they trained not to bite henchmen or something?
- Yeah, well...
25
00:01:46,326 --> 00:01:48,592
I mean,
the snake-to-temple ratio alone...
26
00:01:48,725 --> 00:01:51,192
This is ridiculous.
Delete.
27
00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:54,259
I... I think my character
can still work.
28
00:01:54,393 --> 00:01:56,092
Delete.
29
00:01:56,226 --> 00:01:58,525
Loretta, you still have
a story to write.
30
00:01:59,192 --> 00:02:00,425
Delete.
31
00:02:02,792 --> 00:02:04,592
Hey, it's me, Beth.
32
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:07,126
I don't want to pull the whole "I'm
your publisher" card, but I am.
33
00:02:07,259 --> 00:02:09,592
And I'm really looking forward
to seeing this last chapter.
34
00:02:09,725 --> 00:02:11,692
But no pressure.
No, there actually is pressure.
35
00:02:11,825 --> 00:02:16,026
The exact amount of pressure that
motivates you but doesn't paralyze you.
36
00:02:16,159 --> 00:02:17,558
You got this.
37
00:02:19,092 --> 00:02:19,992
Thank you.
38
00:02:20,126 --> 00:02:22,126
Me again.
39
00:02:22,259 --> 00:02:24,092
Okay, so everything
is set for the book tour,
40
00:02:24,226 --> 00:02:27,026
but, uh, the only thing we need
is a book to tour with.
41
00:02:27,159 --> 00:02:29,259
I can't help but get the feeling
that you're not finishing
42
00:02:29,393 --> 00:02:31,825
because you don't want
to leave your house.
43
00:02:31,959 --> 00:02:37,126
Listen, I know these last five years
have been hard after John's passing,
44
00:02:37,259 --> 00:02:40,625
and it feels easier
to live in your bathtub,
45
00:02:40,759 --> 00:02:43,359
drinking Chardonnay on ice.
46
00:02:43,492 --> 00:02:46,259
But, girl, there is a great
big world waiting for you
47
00:02:46,393 --> 00:02:49,393
and a book tour that I can't cancel,
so just make it happen, all right?
48
00:02:49,525 --> 00:02:50,792
Love you, bye!
49
00:03:09,725 --> 00:03:11,259
We have to keep going.
50
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:14,725
Let's see what's on the
other side of that door.
51
00:03:14,859 --> 00:03:16,992
But what if
there isn't anything?
52
00:03:17,725 --> 00:03:19,825
There's only one way
to find out.
53
00:03:20,692 --> 00:03:22,592
Then Lovemore realized
54
00:03:22,725 --> 00:03:24,959
the treasure she wanted
was lost forever
55
00:03:25,092 --> 00:03:27,458
and her adventures
were coming to an end.
56
00:03:27,592 --> 00:03:28,692
That doesn't feel right.
57
00:03:28,825 --> 00:03:30,592
Yeah, but that's it.
58
00:03:30,725 --> 00:03:32,192
That's the end.
59
00:03:41,259 --> 00:03:42,825
Well, John,
60
00:03:43,393 --> 00:03:44,458
here I go.
61
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,892
Dulcius ex asperis.
62
00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:56,026
- Okay, honey, it's showtime.
- Are you sure about this?
63
00:03:56,159 --> 00:03:59,792
Because I have a wedgie in the back
and in the front in this thing.
64
00:03:59,926 --> 00:04:02,059
I feel like
a nerdy figure skater.
65
00:04:02,192 --> 00:04:04,859
- Sexy. Stunner. I'm all about it.
- No, it's not. It's not.
66
00:04:04,992 --> 00:04:06,926
- How do I move in this?
- Don't touch it.
67
00:04:07,059 --> 00:04:09,226
- I'm not touching it. I'm holding it out.
- Stop it. Will you stop?
68
00:04:09,359 --> 00:04:11,525
Get it out now 'cause you
can't do that onstage.
69
00:04:11,659 --> 00:04:14,326
And we're done.
And we're done. Okay, good.
70
00:04:14,458 --> 00:04:16,326
Do I need to be wearing
a glitter onesie?
71
00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:17,859
You only have to wear this
for two hours.
72
00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:19,926
Do not mess this up, do you hear me?
This is on loan.
73
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,059
Everyone's wearing
sequins right now.
74
00:04:23,592 --> 00:04:25,625
- Why is she taking my photo?
- This is Allison.
75
00:04:25,759 --> 00:04:28,026
She is our new
social media manager.
76
00:04:28,159 --> 00:04:30,959
And she's gonna be helping us
target that younger demographic.
77
00:04:31,092 --> 00:04:33,558
Meaning women in their 30s
who wish they were in their 20s.
78
00:04:33,692 --> 00:04:35,159
Hey, what's up?
79
00:04:35,293 --> 00:04:38,659
Um, I took over your socials,
so this morning you tweeted,
80
00:04:38,792 --> 00:04:43,959
"Where are my ladies at?
Meet me at Ballroom G at 5:00 p.m.
81
00:04:44,092 --> 00:04:45,492
#ShawnMendes.
82
00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:48,458
#GaggingToMeetYouAll."
83
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:51,092
Okay, we are having fun.
Let's go.
84
00:04:51,226 --> 00:04:54,126
We need to remind people that you are still alive.
85
00:04:54,259 --> 00:04:55,625
People know I'm alive.
86
00:04:55,759 --> 00:04:57,692
And to remind them
why this used to be
87
00:04:57,825 --> 00:04:59,926
- the best selling franchise.
- In Romance.
88
00:05:00,059 --> 00:05:02,558
Yes, which is the top
revenue-generating literary category.
89
00:05:02,692 --> 00:05:05,558
Revenue-generating isn't how I would
describe our presales right now.
90
00:05:05,692 --> 00:05:07,792
Just think of this as a way
that uses word of mouth.
91
00:05:07,926 --> 00:05:09,525
Oh, you want word of mouth?
Here we go. How's this?
92
00:05:09,659 --> 00:05:12,458
"The only thing more lost than
the city is the author herself."
93
00:05:12,592 --> 00:05:14,293
"Loveless."
"Passionless."
94
00:05:14,425 --> 00:05:18,326
Uh, "Way past her prime." And, oh,
"This is fake history at its worst."
95
00:05:18,458 --> 00:05:20,592
A book tour could
change everything, okay?
96
00:05:20,725 --> 00:05:22,992
We have to remind the fans
why they love you so much.
97
00:05:23,126 --> 00:05:26,692
Real history. I merely season
it with a smidge more nudity.
98
00:05:26,825 --> 00:05:29,059
History had
a ton of nudity.
99
00:05:29,892 --> 00:05:31,959
Deep exploration.
100
00:05:32,092 --> 00:05:34,492
Steamy wondering.
101
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:39,659
Will Lovemore and Dash find Queen
Taha's priceless Crown of Fire?
102
00:05:39,792 --> 00:05:41,592
Join them on their search.
103
00:05:41,725 --> 00:05:43,625
So, listen, I wanted to
talk to you about something.
104
00:05:43,759 --> 00:05:44,959
There's so many people.
105
00:05:45,092 --> 00:05:47,192
I know how much you hate
doing these things,
106
00:05:47,326 --> 00:05:50,059
so I've invited Alan to do
the Q and A with you today.
107
00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:52,126
- What?
- And the rest of the book tour.
108
00:05:52,259 --> 00:05:55,126
Beth, I expressly asked not to do any
more events with Dash... Alan, Alan!
109
00:05:55,259 --> 00:05:58,059
- He's gonna humiliate me.
- He's not gonna humiliate you.
110
00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:01,226
Thank you. You're very good at your job.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
111
00:06:01,359 --> 00:06:02,525
Let me help you with that.
112
00:06:02,659 --> 00:06:04,525
He is... He's
a body wash commercial.
113
00:06:04,659 --> 00:06:06,458
He's always glistening
all over the place.
114
00:06:06,592 --> 00:06:09,492
There hasn't been an event where
his shirt didn't come flying off.
115
00:06:09,625 --> 00:06:11,092
- You wish.
- Well, he's already here,
116
00:06:11,226 --> 00:06:13,359
so put on your big-girl panties
and let's get out there.
117
00:06:13,492 --> 00:06:16,659
Remember, no grumpy face,
big words or boring academic talk.
118
00:06:16,792 --> 00:06:20,059
Yes! Yes!
119
00:06:20,192 --> 00:06:22,092
Come on, RTP!
120
00:06:22,226 --> 00:06:23,659
Ha-ha!
121
00:06:23,792 --> 00:06:25,992
Yes, my Lovemore-heads!
122
00:06:26,126 --> 00:06:29,558
I am so excited
to introduce to you
123
00:06:29,692 --> 00:06:33,458
the award-winning author,
Loretta Sage!
124
00:06:33,592 --> 00:06:36,126
- Beth, I can't do this. I'm not ready.
- Are you kidding me?
125
00:06:36,259 --> 00:06:37,959
Listen, I've got your back.
You got this.
126
00:06:38,092 --> 00:06:39,592
Go give the people
what they want.
127
00:06:39,725 --> 00:06:41,558
- It's not me they want.
- Get out there now!
128
00:06:44,126 --> 00:06:48,026
Hi. How are you?
Nice to see you. Thank you.
129
00:07:23,418 --> 00:07:25,117
Yep. Mount it.
130
00:07:27,583 --> 00:07:30,451
Mount it. Mount it.
Okay.
131
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:32,217
Find your center.
132
00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:35,884
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
133
00:07:36,017 --> 00:07:37,750
- The sexiest...
- All right!
134
00:07:37,884 --> 00:07:41,850
...most influential hero
of a generation.
135
00:07:41,984 --> 00:07:43,151
That's a bit strong.
136
00:07:43,284 --> 00:07:45,984
His 20th cover
of an Angela Lovemore novel.
137
00:07:46,484 --> 00:07:48,650
Dash McMahon!
138
00:07:54,117 --> 00:07:56,617
Oh, my God! Dash!
139
00:08:19,317 --> 00:08:21,650
- Take a bow.
- I already did mine. I did mine.
140
00:08:21,784 --> 00:08:24,717
Okay, come on.
One more. I got you.
141
00:08:39,683 --> 00:08:41,284
Did you guys rehearse that?
Oh, my God.
142
00:08:41,418 --> 00:08:45,251
I'm loving this chemistry between you
two, and I got to say,
143
00:08:45,384 --> 00:08:47,484
I love this book.
144
00:08:47,617 --> 00:08:48,650
- Oh, thank you, Ray.
- Thank...
145
00:08:48,784 --> 00:08:50,151
Spoiler alert.
146
00:08:50,284 --> 00:08:51,518
A really bold choice
147
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:53,550
to not have them go
into the tomb at the end.
148
00:08:53,683 --> 00:08:55,251
Talk about
what went into this one.
149
00:08:55,384 --> 00:08:58,817
I mean, this one's such a
special book for me personally.
150
00:08:58,950 --> 00:09:01,750
I... I don't know how to say
how much it means to me
151
00:09:01,884 --> 00:09:03,950
that Loretta,
word writer extraordinaire,
152
00:09:04,084 --> 00:09:07,117
has, you know,
named the book after me.
153
00:09:07,251 --> 00:09:09,051
The Lost City of Dash.
154
00:09:09,184 --> 00:09:10,217
The Lost City of D.
155
00:09:10,351 --> 00:09:12,583
Um, but that's not what
the D stands for.
156
00:09:12,717 --> 00:09:15,251
- It's D for "dick," right?
- No dick, no.
157
00:09:15,384 --> 00:09:18,451
It's based on the name of an ancient
tribe, Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica.
158
00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:23,151
And, um, it was too difficult for
the European colonizers to pronounce,
159
00:09:23,284 --> 00:09:26,484
- so, in true colonial fashion they abbreviated it.
- No one cares about this.
160
00:09:26,617 --> 00:09:28,284
That's so interesting.
Okay.
161
00:09:28,418 --> 00:09:30,717
How about we take some
questions from the audience?
162
00:09:30,850 --> 00:09:32,583
- Right here, handsome!
- Yes.
163
00:09:32,717 --> 00:09:36,817
- Dash, what's your favorite romantic moment?
- Ooh.
164
00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:41,484
What I would really like to know is what
is Loretta's favorite romantic moment?
165
00:09:41,617 --> 00:09:43,518
Ooh, spicy.
166
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,550
Oh, uh...
167
00:09:45,683 --> 00:09:48,317
Well, being a sapiosexual...
168
00:09:48,451 --> 00:09:50,650
Oh, is that when they do
the snakes around the...
169
00:09:50,784 --> 00:09:54,850
No. That's someone
who finds, uh, intellect
170
00:09:54,984 --> 00:09:58,884
or intelligence,
uh, very sexy, you know.
171
00:09:59,017 --> 00:10:00,117
Same.
172
00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:01,784
Really?
173
00:10:01,917 --> 00:10:04,284
Dash! Rip off your shirt!
174
00:10:04,418 --> 00:10:08,117
No, no, no. We're not gonna do that today.
We're here for Loretta's book.
175
00:10:08,251 --> 00:10:10,084
Do we have questions
for Loretta?
176
00:10:10,217 --> 00:10:15,384
Uh, yes, studious-looking young lady?
What would you like to ask me?
177
00:10:15,518 --> 00:10:17,518
Can you rip off Dash's shirt?
178
00:10:19,084 --> 00:10:21,884
No, no. We're not gonna
do this again. Sorry.
179
00:10:22,017 --> 00:10:24,518
Rip it off! Rip it off!
180
00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:26,950
Rip it off! Rip it off!
Rip it off!
181
00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:30,850
Of course. Of course, yes.
Can do.
182
00:10:31,784 --> 00:10:33,017
Is this happening?
183
00:10:33,151 --> 00:10:34,850
- You don't have to do this.
- Oh, we have to.
184
00:10:34,984 --> 00:10:37,017
We have to give the people
what they want. Yes, yes.
185
00:10:37,151 --> 00:10:39,850
We have to give the people
what they want, yes.
186
00:10:39,984 --> 00:10:43,184
Ladies and gentlemen,
enjoy.
187
00:10:43,317 --> 00:10:47,950
Because The Lost City of D
is Dash's final adventure.
188
00:10:48,084 --> 00:10:50,117
If there even
is a next book,
189
00:10:50,251 --> 00:10:53,351
it will open with Lovemore
receiving the tragic news
190
00:10:53,484 --> 00:10:55,850
of his untimely death.
191
00:10:55,984 --> 00:10:57,251
What?
192
00:10:57,384 --> 00:10:58,850
- Shit. I'm sorry. My smartwatch is stuck.
- Ow. Hold on.
193
00:10:58,984 --> 00:11:00,017
I know. Don't pull it.
194
00:11:00,151 --> 00:11:01,650
It's okay. Just be real still.
195
00:11:01,784 --> 00:11:03,151
- No. That's pulling it.
- You're pulling it.
196
00:11:03,284 --> 00:11:05,917
You're gonna rip my wig off.
No, you can't...
197
00:11:10,317 --> 00:11:11,251
Oh, my!
198
00:11:11,384 --> 00:11:12,750
- Oh, my God.
- Is he okay?
199
00:11:12,884 --> 00:11:14,451
God, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
200
00:11:14,583 --> 00:11:17,217
- I'm so sorry.
- You're a bad person.
201
00:11:17,351 --> 00:11:21,650
Stick around for the
costume contest at 6:00 p.m.
202
00:11:22,451 --> 00:11:24,583
"If there is another book"?
203
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:29,617
I'm investing everything we've
got into this tour, okay?
204
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:33,217
I just don't think I have another
Dash and Lovemore adventure in me.
205
00:11:33,351 --> 00:11:34,683
How does Dash die?
206
00:11:34,817 --> 00:11:36,917
- Was it the snakes?
- No.
207
00:11:37,051 --> 00:11:39,351
Okay, so I have something
that I have to take care of.
208
00:11:39,484 --> 00:11:41,917
You guys have an interview in
the next suite in ten minutes.
209
00:11:42,051 --> 00:11:44,451
So can you please do me a favor
and be grown-ups
210
00:11:44,583 --> 00:11:46,084
and get yourselves there
on your own?
211
00:11:46,217 --> 00:11:47,418
Okay. Thank you so much.
212
00:11:48,184 --> 00:11:50,284
Does he die from
a staph infection?
213
00:11:52,217 --> 00:11:54,317
It is a staph infection.
I knew it.
214
00:11:55,484 --> 00:11:56,817
I-I... All right.
215
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,984
Look, I get it if you
need a break or something,
216
00:12:00,117 --> 00:12:02,117
- but you can't just kill me, okay?
- Okay.
217
00:12:02,251 --> 00:12:06,617
I hate that I have to ask this,
but you do know you're not Dash, right?
218
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,917
Dash is a character
I made up.
219
00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:10,284
Dash?
220
00:12:13,084 --> 00:12:14,317
Thanks.
221
00:12:14,451 --> 00:12:15,683
Thank you.
222
00:12:18,117 --> 00:12:20,351
- Loretta, it's this way.
- No, I think it's this way.
223
00:12:20,484 --> 00:12:22,817
Can't you see that Dash
means so much to people?
224
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,717
- Means so much to you.
- Not to me.
225
00:12:24,850 --> 00:12:26,451
Well, yeah, to me,
but to other people too.
226
00:12:26,617 --> 00:12:29,518
- What about Beth?
- You know what? Beth is gonna be fine.
227
00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:33,518
She's gonna find plenty fresh,
young writers full of great ideas.
228
00:12:33,650 --> 00:12:35,617
You can transition gracefully
229
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:38,084
into the shirt-on phase
of your modeling career,
230
00:12:38,217 --> 00:12:39,518
and I can be left alone.
231
00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:41,351
Everybody is happy.
232
00:12:41,484 --> 00:12:43,217
No, it's this way.
233
00:12:43,351 --> 00:12:45,151
Beth says you don't even
leave the house anymore.
234
00:12:45,284 --> 00:12:47,284
I don't feel like
that's very happy.
235
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:50,284
You should be going out in the world,
filling yourself up on new experiences.
236
00:12:50,418 --> 00:12:52,617
I'm already filled up.
I'm full. I'm fully satiated.
237
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:56,084
Why would you want to be stuck at home
alone when you could see the world?
238
00:12:56,217 --> 00:12:57,717
You could be visiting
ancient Greece.
239
00:12:57,850 --> 00:13:00,717
Okay. How could I visit
ancient Greece?
240
00:13:00,850 --> 00:13:02,850
I get it. Because
you're afraid of flying.
241
00:13:02,984 --> 00:13:06,418
No. Because ancient Greece
is in the past.
242
00:13:06,550 --> 00:13:08,051
Just like Dash.
243
00:13:08,184 --> 00:13:11,351
Okay. You want to know who else
is stuck in the past? You are.
244
00:13:11,484 --> 00:13:14,251
You're so afraid of life hurting you
again that you've stopped living.
245
00:13:14,384 --> 00:13:16,717
You're like a human mummy.
246
00:13:18,184 --> 00:13:20,217
I didn't, um...
247
00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:22,617
Oh.
248
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:24,850
Mummies are human.
249
00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:36,117
Stupid... Oh, crap.
250
00:13:37,151 --> 00:13:39,084
I'm so sorry.
I-I will clean this up.
251
00:13:39,217 --> 00:13:41,650
I am not a litterer,
I-I assure you that.
252
00:13:41,784 --> 00:13:45,284
Do you, um... Do you think you
could, uh, call a car for me, please?
253
00:13:45,418 --> 00:13:46,950
Thank you. Thank you.
254
00:13:49,683 --> 00:13:50,817
Bring the car around.
255
00:13:50,950 --> 00:13:52,351
God, is that
someone's retainer?
256
00:13:52,484 --> 00:13:54,817
I've never said the right thing
one time around her.
257
00:13:54,950 --> 00:13:56,817
I get nervous
because she opens her mouth,
258
00:13:56,950 --> 00:14:01,418
and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness
comes out, and I just never say...
259
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,817
You know
she's trying to kill me?
260
00:14:02,950 --> 00:14:05,084
I just need
those tomatoes.
261
00:14:05,217 --> 00:14:07,550
You're right.
No, you're right.
262
00:14:07,683 --> 00:14:09,151
I should apologize.
Thank you, man.
263
00:14:09,284 --> 00:14:11,550
- I appreciate that very, very much.
- You're welcome.
264
00:14:21,683 --> 00:14:23,917
Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah.
265
00:14:29,184 --> 00:14:30,217
Uh...
266
00:14:31,518 --> 00:14:32,683
Hiya.
267
00:14:32,817 --> 00:14:34,251
Uh, I did not order
an UberPool.
268
00:14:34,384 --> 00:14:37,351
Someone wants to meet you.
We'll have you right back.
269
00:14:37,484 --> 00:14:38,717
Um...
270
00:14:42,184 --> 00:14:43,418
Loretta!
271
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,084
Loretta! Loretta?
272
00:14:47,950 --> 00:14:49,784
Uh, Loretta?
273
00:14:49,917 --> 00:14:52,484
- Did you say "Loretta"?
- Yeah.
274
00:14:52,617 --> 00:14:53,784
- Follow that SUV, man.
- No.
275
00:14:53,917 --> 00:14:55,617
- Come on, please!
- No, no, no.
276
00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:58,817
I'm not helping any more handsome
strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm.
277
00:14:58,950 --> 00:15:02,251
What is this, Taken? Am I "tooken"?
278
00:15:02,384 --> 00:15:03,750
Am I sold already?
279
00:15:03,884 --> 00:15:06,850
Am I...
Am I sold to him?
280
00:15:06,984 --> 00:15:10,617
- Ow. Stop.
- Oh, no. Did this feel creepy?
281
00:15:10,750 --> 00:15:13,384
I said
don't make it creepy, guys.
282
00:15:13,518 --> 00:15:15,284
I'm so sorry
about the setting.
283
00:15:15,418 --> 00:15:17,984
I just flew in.
I was in a real panic to meet you.
284
00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:20,151
I didn't have time
to dress the place up much.
285
00:15:20,284 --> 00:15:23,051
I read you love cheese,
so I just got them all.
286
00:15:23,184 --> 00:15:27,184
Are you the one who's been
emailing me for photos of my feet?
287
00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:29,117
No. Um...
288
00:15:29,251 --> 00:15:33,617
And I promise what I'm about to show
you is gonna make you very happy.
289
00:15:34,284 --> 00:15:35,518
But first, a little bit
290
00:15:35,650 --> 00:15:38,817
about the mysterious rogue
you see before you.
291
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:41,184
Uh, my name
is Abigail Fairfax.
292
00:15:41,317 --> 00:15:44,251
- Abigail?
- It's a gender-neutral name, like Leslie or Beverly.
293
00:15:44,384 --> 00:15:48,117
Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax
of the media-mogul Fairfaxes?
294
00:15:49,017 --> 00:15:52,184
Didn't you just
take over your company or...
295
00:15:52,317 --> 00:15:56,217
No, that was my brother, actually.
That was Leslie. We're all very proud.
296
00:15:56,351 --> 00:15:59,451
Ah. Yes, I should say so,
at such a young age to...
297
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,484
Some might even say
too young.
298
00:16:01,617 --> 00:16:04,317
But that world
never really interested me.
299
00:16:04,451 --> 00:16:06,984
My passions, as you may know,
300
00:16:07,117 --> 00:16:10,217
lie in the hidden things
in the world,
301
00:16:10,351 --> 00:16:12,917
things which defy possession.
302
00:16:13,051 --> 00:16:16,084
Um, some might call me
a collector.
303
00:16:16,217 --> 00:16:19,917
But there is one obsession
in particular
304
00:16:20,051 --> 00:16:22,151
that has held me captive.
305
00:16:23,251 --> 00:16:24,683
The Crown of Fire
306
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,151
and its cascading
red diamonds.
307
00:16:27,284 --> 00:16:30,917
Is this a... Is this
a hidden-camera thing?
308
00:16:31,051 --> 00:16:34,617
So imagine my surprise
when, in your new book,
309
00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:38,017
amidst the pages
of coital reverie,
310
00:16:38,151 --> 00:16:38,917
was something...
311
00:16:39,051 --> 00:16:41,117
- Oh, God.
- ...quite magnificent.
312
00:16:42,984 --> 00:16:45,518
I get it. I get it.
I so get it right now.
313
00:16:45,650 --> 00:16:46,917
Oh, my gosh.
314
00:16:47,051 --> 00:16:49,217
I literally thought
you guys kidnapped me.
315
00:16:49,351 --> 00:16:51,817
I mean, this is marketing, right?
Beth set this up?
316
00:16:51,950 --> 00:16:54,817
This was so good, you guys.
This was amazing.
317
00:16:54,950 --> 00:16:58,151
You, with your gun
and your mustache
318
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:01,251
and your, "You'd better get
in there" and you know...
319
00:17:02,484 --> 00:17:03,950
Oh, my God.
320
00:17:04,084 --> 00:17:07,784
You, with the G.I.
Joe tone-on-tone outfit.
321
00:17:07,917 --> 00:17:12,917
Your fictional archaeologist was making
real translations of a dead language.
322
00:17:13,051 --> 00:17:15,917
- Mm-hmm.
- Something nobody else has been able to do.
323
00:17:16,051 --> 00:17:18,451
Well, nobody else
had ever tried.
324
00:17:18,583 --> 00:17:20,418
Is that right?
Am I saying the right thing?
325
00:17:20,550 --> 00:17:22,184
Except you, right?
326
00:17:22,317 --> 00:17:24,184
Except me!
327
00:17:24,317 --> 00:17:25,984
Yes. See, it turns out
328
00:17:26,117 --> 00:17:29,384
Loretta Sage was once a young
college girl doing her dissertation
329
00:17:29,518 --> 00:17:32,351
on the dead language of the D
with her future husband,
330
00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:35,550
dreaming of finding Kalaman's
tomb and the Crown of Fire.
331
00:17:35,683 --> 00:17:38,784
I was sorry to read you gave
up your search after he died.
332
00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:40,583
But what that means is,
333
00:17:41,817 --> 00:17:43,683
you're all I have left.
334
00:17:43,817 --> 00:17:46,984
All-All you have left
for... what?
335
00:17:47,117 --> 00:17:48,151
Hmm.
336
00:17:49,950 --> 00:17:51,184
Oh.
337
00:17:51,317 --> 00:17:52,717
Here we go.
338
00:18:06,784 --> 00:18:08,451
What is this?
339
00:18:08,583 --> 00:18:12,251
I believe it is describing the
exact location of Kalaman's tomb,
340
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:15,817
in which Taha and her
priceless headdress are buried.
341
00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:18,051
Well, if this were authentic,
342
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:23,484
you would still have to
uncover an entire city
343
00:18:23,617 --> 00:18:26,617
that nobody
has been able to find.
344
00:18:26,750 --> 00:18:28,351
I found it.
345
00:18:28,484 --> 00:18:31,583
On a tiny, forgotten island in
the Atlantic called Isla Hundida.
346
00:18:31,717 --> 00:18:35,251
What I have not been able to find
is Kalaman's final resting place.
347
00:18:35,384 --> 00:18:39,650
This piece of parchment is the
only clue we found among the ruins.
348
00:18:39,784 --> 00:18:42,950
I need someone
who can decipher these symbols.
349
00:18:43,550 --> 00:18:45,117
I need you.
350
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,650
- Well...
- Miss Sage,
351
00:18:47,784 --> 00:18:51,117
surely this isn't how
you want your story to end.
352
00:18:51,251 --> 00:18:53,817
We both had our dreams crushed
by bad luck,
353
00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:56,184
or in my case,
an arse-kissing little brother,
354
00:18:56,317 --> 00:18:59,418
but this is our chance
to show them all.
355
00:18:59,550 --> 00:19:01,084
Come with me...
to the island.
356
00:19:01,217 --> 00:19:06,351
Translate these symbols and
help me find the Crown of Fire.
357
00:19:06,484 --> 00:19:09,117
You can name your price.
358
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:14,550
I must respectfully decline.
359
00:19:19,418 --> 00:19:20,650
Well...
360
00:19:22,217 --> 00:19:24,151
I can't say
I'm not disappointed.
361
00:19:24,917 --> 00:19:27,583
But I understand
how you feel.
362
00:19:30,884 --> 00:19:32,583
Will you at least let us
give you a ride?
363
00:19:32,717 --> 00:19:37,051
Oh, no, thank you.
I'll call for my own car, and I'll just...
364
00:19:58,583 --> 00:20:02,317
I don't feel like you're listening
to me. This is urgent, and we...
365
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:05,384
Okay, so the police are saying
that they put out an APB...
366
00:20:05,518 --> 00:20:07,117
- APB.
- ...on an SUV,
367
00:20:07,251 --> 00:20:09,451
- and there's this 24-hour rule...
- Why is there a rule?
368
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,984
- ...and they won't do anything until...
- What about the FBI or the CIA?
369
00:20:12,117 --> 00:20:14,084
- They said to call the police.
- I'm sure Loretta's fine.
370
00:20:14,217 --> 00:20:16,750
When I was in college,
my friend Nicki went missing.
371
00:20:16,884 --> 00:20:18,484
Everyone was, like,
freaking out.
372
00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:20,917
But then she was just
in her car.
373
00:20:21,051 --> 00:20:24,184
She was dead, but we found her.
She wasn't gone.
374
00:20:24,317 --> 00:20:28,650
Um, what about...
Maybe we could get a PI
375
00:20:28,784 --> 00:20:31,284
or, like, you know,
private security or...
376
00:20:31,418 --> 00:20:33,284
What about an extraction team,
like the movie?
377
00:20:33,418 --> 00:20:35,884
Yes! But who does that?
The ex-military, right?
378
00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:38,583
Oh, yeah. I think I actually
have somebody that could help us.
379
00:20:38,717 --> 00:20:41,650
- Oh.
- I did this meditation retreat,
380
00:20:41,784 --> 00:20:43,817
and there was this
trainer guy there.
381
00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:45,451
You should
see this guy meditate.
382
00:20:45,583 --> 00:20:46,984
But he's ex-Navy SEAL.
383
00:20:47,117 --> 00:20:50,917
He... He's a special ops trainer.
What was his name?
384
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:52,683
Yeah. Jack Trainer.
385
00:20:52,817 --> 00:20:54,384
So he's a trainer
named Jack Trainer?
386
00:20:54,518 --> 00:20:56,683
That's how I have everybody in my phone.
See, "Janice Mom."
387
00:20:56,817 --> 00:20:58,217
"Larry Doorknob."
"Stacy Butt Stuff."
388
00:20:58,351 --> 00:21:01,051
Look, this is what this guy does.
He finds people.
389
00:21:01,184 --> 00:21:03,451
If there's anybody
that can help us, it's him.
390
00:21:10,384 --> 00:21:12,884
- Jack Trainer.
- Oh, so his name is actually Jack Trainer.
391
00:21:13,017 --> 00:21:16,950
Hi, uh, this is Alan
from "Touching Your Inner Self."
392
00:21:18,418 --> 00:21:20,217
The meditation retreat?
393
00:21:21,950 --> 00:21:24,917
Anyway, uh, okay.
Our friend Loretta has been kidnapped,
394
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:26,484
and no one's helping us.
395
00:21:26,617 --> 00:21:28,084
How long she been missing?
396
00:21:28,217 --> 00:21:29,484
Maybe two hours now.
397
00:21:29,617 --> 00:21:30,817
Who is that?
398
00:21:30,950 --> 00:21:34,984
Um, this is B...
This is Beth. I'm Beth.
399
00:21:35,117 --> 00:21:37,518
And Allison
is on too, sir.
400
00:21:37,650 --> 00:21:39,817
Did she have any
Wi-Fi-enabled devices?
401
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:42,817
- She's got her phone, right?
- No, I have her phone.
402
00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:45,518
Oh! She has a smartwatch.
It ripped my wig off.
403
00:21:45,650 --> 00:21:48,583
What was that scenario?
Never mind. Open the phone.
404
00:21:48,717 --> 00:21:50,251
- Go to the smartwatch app.
- All right.
405
00:21:50,384 --> 00:21:52,650
Then hit "Find My Smartwatch."
406
00:21:52,784 --> 00:21:55,683
Oh, my... That is so good.
That's why we called.
407
00:21:55,817 --> 00:21:58,217
"Anticipate the difficult
by managing the easy."
408
00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:02,051
- Is that Oprah or Deepak?
- Laozi from Tao-te Ching.
409
00:22:02,184 --> 00:22:03,351
Oh, my God.
410
00:22:03,484 --> 00:22:05,117
It's in the Atlantic.
411
00:22:05,251 --> 00:22:07,617
- She's on a plane?
- How can you tell that?
412
00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:09,884
'Cause she can't swim
that fast.
413
00:22:10,017 --> 00:22:11,418
Doesn't sound
like a ransom scenario.
414
00:22:11,550 --> 00:22:14,151
My guess is blood sport,
Hunger Games type situation.
415
00:22:14,284 --> 00:22:17,084
Possibly some coke-fueled
dark web scavenger hunt.
416
00:22:17,217 --> 00:22:19,217
Real clown shit.
We'll have to move fast.
417
00:22:19,351 --> 00:22:22,251
- How do we pay you?
- Cryptocurrency. Cash App.
418
00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:25,784
I'll have her back within 48
hours or your next rescue is free.
419
00:22:25,917 --> 00:22:27,384
How many people
need a next rescue?
420
00:22:27,518 --> 00:22:28,984
More than you'd think.
421
00:22:29,117 --> 00:22:30,917
- I'm gonna need that phone.
- I'll bring it to you.
422
00:22:31,051 --> 00:22:33,784
Let me know where she lands.
I'll meet you there, Alan.
423
00:22:48,650 --> 00:22:49,917
Hello.
424
00:22:54,484 --> 00:22:55,583
Where am I?
425
00:22:55,717 --> 00:22:57,683
Um, you're on my plane.
426
00:22:57,817 --> 00:22:58,984
It's nice, isn't it? Hmm?
427
00:22:59,117 --> 00:23:00,950
The seats are made of
mama llama leather.
428
00:23:01,084 --> 00:23:04,151
Well, I'm getting off
your plane.
429
00:23:04,284 --> 00:23:05,617
Unchain me!
430
00:23:05,750 --> 00:23:07,317
That's your seat belt.
431
00:23:07,884 --> 00:23:09,750
Did you chloroform me?
432
00:23:09,884 --> 00:23:12,084
People actually do that?
433
00:23:14,451 --> 00:23:17,151
Well, you know,
it's a classic for a reason.
434
00:23:17,750 --> 00:23:19,017
My body feels drunk.
435
00:23:19,151 --> 00:23:21,017
It'll wear off in a bit.
I am sorry.
436
00:23:21,151 --> 00:23:23,484
I just couldn't wait around
for you to change your mind.
437
00:23:23,617 --> 00:23:26,017
- Stop playing jelly.
- Time is not on our side.
438
00:23:26,151 --> 00:23:28,850
You see, the volcano
we're excavating around
439
00:23:28,984 --> 00:23:30,917
has developed
a bad case of indigestion.
440
00:23:31,051 --> 00:23:32,884
I'm rather worried that when it blows,
441
00:23:33,017 --> 00:23:35,051
everything that's left of the
Lost City will be destroyed.
442
00:23:35,184 --> 00:23:37,051
Oh, my God.
My legs don't work.
443
00:23:37,184 --> 00:23:42,617
So, this is our last chance to
find both the tomb and the crown.
444
00:23:42,750 --> 00:23:44,750
- Oh, God.
- Oh!
445
00:23:44,884 --> 00:23:47,117
Don't worry.
That's just our final descent.
446
00:23:47,251 --> 00:23:53,284
But it is the beginning of the
greatest adventure of your life.
447
00:25:01,817 --> 00:25:03,917
Welcome to the Lost City.
448
00:25:13,518 --> 00:25:14,884
How did you find it?
449
00:25:15,017 --> 00:25:17,151
So, the city was built
on a lava dome.
450
00:25:17,284 --> 00:25:19,950
As the volcano became active,
the dome filled with lava,
451
00:25:20,084 --> 00:25:22,617
and sunken things
rose to the surface.
452
00:25:22,750 --> 00:25:24,617
The D exposed itself.
453
00:25:24,750 --> 00:25:27,717
- The entire city?
- No, no. Just the tip.
454
00:25:27,850 --> 00:25:31,051
As soon as I heard rumors of the ruins,
I flew over and bought the place.
455
00:25:31,184 --> 00:25:34,418
- The site?
- No. The island. The southern half.
456
00:25:34,550 --> 00:25:36,884
I got a good deal 'cause
this is where the lava flows.
457
00:25:37,017 --> 00:25:39,284
We've been excavating
for a year now.
458
00:25:40,317 --> 00:25:42,850
One doesn't kidnap a
romance novelist on day one.
459
00:25:42,984 --> 00:25:44,984
Ah, yes, as the saying goes.
460
00:25:45,117 --> 00:25:48,151
Rafi doesn't like it.
Do you, Rafi?
461
00:25:48,284 --> 00:25:51,384
He says we're
disrespecting his heritage.
462
00:25:51,518 --> 00:25:54,750
But not a lot of other job options
on the island, are there, Rafi?
463
00:25:54,884 --> 00:25:56,984
Beggars can't be choosers.
464
00:26:06,784 --> 00:26:08,583
No more charcuterie,
I take it.
465
00:26:08,717 --> 00:26:10,784
Mmm. Please.
I'm not a monster.
466
00:26:10,917 --> 00:26:12,784
Whatever you need, just shout.
467
00:26:14,251 --> 00:26:19,184
Uh, leave one hand free.
She has some translating to do.
468
00:26:20,384 --> 00:26:21,583
And then what?
469
00:26:21,717 --> 00:26:24,117
Loretta, I really wish
you would try and see
470
00:26:24,251 --> 00:26:26,351
what an exciting opportunity
this is for us.
471
00:26:26,484 --> 00:26:30,384
I believe this text describes
the exact location of the tomb.
472
00:26:30,518 --> 00:26:33,051
It's a logographic system.
473
00:26:33,784 --> 00:26:36,317
Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics.
474
00:26:36,451 --> 00:26:40,251
Now, if you have other documents
that possibly I can compare...
475
00:26:40,384 --> 00:26:41,617
Yeah, no luck there.
476
00:26:41,750 --> 00:26:44,518
We found some scratching
at a nearby waterfall,
477
00:26:44,650 --> 00:26:45,518
but it was useless.
478
00:26:45,650 --> 00:26:47,151
Just pictures of women.
479
00:26:47,284 --> 00:26:51,884
Look, I, too, wish your dear
old dead archaeologist husband
480
00:26:52,017 --> 00:26:54,717
was here to help,
but he's not, so,
481
00:26:54,850 --> 00:26:57,984
time to shine, Loretta,
sex-book writer.
482
00:26:59,384 --> 00:27:01,117
They will come for me.
483
00:27:01,617 --> 00:27:03,384
Who, exactly?
484
00:27:03,518 --> 00:27:05,217
Your... Your many cats?
485
00:27:05,351 --> 00:27:07,151
Oh, I don't have cats.
486
00:27:07,717 --> 00:27:09,518
Somehow even more sad.
487
00:27:09,650 --> 00:27:12,583
I have a hamster, asshole!
488
00:27:12,717 --> 00:27:14,317
You have a hamster's asshole?
489
00:27:14,451 --> 00:27:18,184
No, there was a...
there was a comma between... Forget it.
490
00:27:18,317 --> 00:27:21,750
I bet your brother never had
to kidnap anyone!
491
00:28:12,451 --> 00:28:14,017
Good to see you, man.
492
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:15,784
- Phone.
- Right.
493
00:28:27,583 --> 00:28:28,784
What?
494
00:28:28,917 --> 00:28:31,484
Yeah, I was thinking
that I could, you know,
495
00:28:31,617 --> 00:28:33,184
maybe just sort of
come with you.
496
00:28:33,317 --> 00:28:35,051
- Why?
- To help.
497
00:28:35,184 --> 00:28:39,284
I know CPR. I know some light karate.
CrossFit certified.
498
00:28:39,418 --> 00:28:40,950
Okay, okay, listen, listen!
499
00:28:41,784 --> 00:28:43,451
I just... It's my fault.
500
00:28:43,583 --> 00:28:45,617
Not the kidnapping
and stuff,
501
00:28:45,750 --> 00:28:48,817
but, like, I said some really mean
stuff to her, and I regret it,
502
00:28:48,950 --> 00:28:50,550
and I just need
to take it back.
503
00:28:50,683 --> 00:28:52,084
I called her a human mummy.
504
00:28:53,418 --> 00:28:54,850
Mummies are human.
505
00:28:55,484 --> 00:28:57,850
I'm aware of that now, yes.
506
00:28:57,984 --> 00:29:01,051
That is true.
507
00:29:01,184 --> 00:29:02,184
Please.
508
00:29:03,418 --> 00:29:06,151
All right, Alan,
I can't be responsible for you.
509
00:29:07,117 --> 00:29:08,084
Okay. Yeah.
510
00:29:08,217 --> 00:29:11,151
- I need you to stay in the car.
- Yeah.
511
00:29:11,284 --> 00:29:13,351
- In the car.
- In the car.
512
00:29:13,484 --> 00:29:15,917
- The whole time.
- The whole time?
513
00:29:16,051 --> 00:29:17,251
Whole time.
514
00:29:17,384 --> 00:29:18,617
Mm-hmm.
515
00:29:20,384 --> 00:29:21,617
Yes!
516
00:29:28,518 --> 00:29:29,917
This is me.
517
00:29:30,784 --> 00:29:33,017
Really? Is this what
the SEAL teams use?
518
00:29:33,151 --> 00:29:35,784
"Only a fool chooses a horse
by its color."
519
00:29:35,917 --> 00:29:38,683
Right, right.
The Tao-te Ching?
520
00:29:38,817 --> 00:29:41,984
No, it was on the sign
back there at the rental place.
521
00:29:50,484 --> 00:29:51,717
Thank you.
522
00:30:24,518 --> 00:30:25,984
What? What?
523
00:30:28,184 --> 00:30:30,151
I was hoping to invite you
to breakfast,
524
00:30:30,284 --> 00:30:32,984
but it looks like
you still have work to do.
525
00:30:33,950 --> 00:30:35,683
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
526
00:30:35,817 --> 00:30:37,317
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
527
00:30:37,451 --> 00:30:39,418
I believe this says
528
00:30:39,550 --> 00:30:41,518
"rest" or "resting."
529
00:30:41,650 --> 00:30:44,484
So it would be,
"Kalaman and his treasure..."
530
00:30:44,617 --> 00:30:49,084
And then there are some missing
pieces, and then "rest," "resting,"
531
00:30:49,217 --> 00:30:52,650
and something about
"tears," so...
532
00:30:54,451 --> 00:30:55,418
Resting where?
533
00:30:55,550 --> 00:30:56,717
Hmm? Oh!
534
00:30:56,850 --> 00:30:59,583
Didn't say.
It doesn't say.
535
00:31:00,950 --> 00:31:03,917
Miss Sage,
I need you to do better.
536
00:31:04,051 --> 00:31:07,518
Then next time maybe don't
kidnap a romance novelist, hmm?
537
00:31:07,650 --> 00:31:09,817
My God,
this shouldn't be this hard!
538
00:31:09,950 --> 00:31:11,850
It is not some pauper's grave
we're looking for.
539
00:31:11,984 --> 00:31:14,217
It is a monument to a great man!
540
00:31:14,351 --> 00:31:16,251
King Kalaman was ambitious,
he was powerful,
541
00:31:16,384 --> 00:31:18,817
he was the first man to
build a city in the Atlantic.
542
00:31:18,950 --> 00:31:21,583
The eyes of his subjects
would have turned to him.
543
00:31:21,717 --> 00:31:24,850
He would have had a pyramid,
a ziggurat, a tower
544
00:31:24,984 --> 00:31:26,917
to hold his Crown of Fire.
545
00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:29,984
All I need to know
is where it is.
546
00:31:30,117 --> 00:31:33,284
I don't know if you recall,
but you only said translate it.
547
00:31:33,418 --> 00:31:35,550
I-I translated it.
548
00:31:36,351 --> 00:31:37,984
Translate it again.
549
00:31:43,550 --> 00:31:46,583
One day, we're gonna laugh about this.
550
00:31:46,717 --> 00:31:48,884
Such an adventure
we're having.
551
00:31:51,950 --> 00:31:56,317
I should go with you,
just for backup and awesomeness.
552
00:31:57,284 --> 00:31:58,884
This is pretty awesome.
553
00:31:59,017 --> 00:32:01,683
You got nature, the radio.
554
00:32:02,784 --> 00:32:06,418
Yeah, you're right, but it's
very, very important to me
555
00:32:06,550 --> 00:32:08,384
that she knows
that I came to rescue her.
556
00:32:08,518 --> 00:32:10,251
Why?
Do you like this woman?
557
00:32:11,184 --> 00:32:13,384
No, I just brought snacks
and stuff.
558
00:32:13,518 --> 00:32:15,650
And she gets a little grumpy
when she's hungry.
559
00:32:15,784 --> 00:32:19,184
Blood pressure drops. And I get that
because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy.
560
00:32:19,317 --> 00:32:22,051
Do you keto, by the way?
You look like you keto.
561
00:32:22,184 --> 00:32:23,817
- No.
- No. Yeah.
562
00:32:23,950 --> 00:32:25,650
You don't need it.
563
00:32:25,784 --> 00:32:27,217
What is it?
564
00:32:27,351 --> 00:32:30,917
I just want her to think of me
as more than a cover model.
565
00:32:31,051 --> 00:32:35,251
But, Alan, you are so much more.
You're my lookout.
566
00:32:35,384 --> 00:32:38,717
Okay, can I at least do the part
where I put her in the car
567
00:32:38,850 --> 00:32:42,617
and I just go,
"Shh. You're safe now"?
568
00:32:43,683 --> 00:32:45,650
Sure, champ.
She'll love that.
569
00:32:45,784 --> 00:32:47,617
Oh, you're just going?
Going to start?
570
00:32:47,750 --> 00:32:50,184
You're starting
the mission now? Okay.
571
00:33:14,384 --> 00:33:16,583
Oh!
572
00:33:25,550 --> 00:33:26,984
Go to sleep.
573
00:33:55,850 --> 00:33:56,950
- Alan.
- What?
574
00:33:57,084 --> 00:33:58,817
This is a breach of trust, Alan.
575
00:33:58,950 --> 00:34:00,451
I can help. Let me help.
576
00:34:03,884 --> 00:34:06,550
Stay close. Stay alive.
577
00:34:11,418 --> 00:34:12,650
Hey.
578
00:34:17,617 --> 00:34:19,084
Go to sleep.
579
00:34:21,484 --> 00:34:25,550
I got his head. What do I do with his head?
I'm just gonna set him down.
580
00:34:31,683 --> 00:34:32,917
No.
581
00:34:33,418 --> 00:34:34,617
Hey, hey, no!
582
00:34:34,750 --> 00:34:35,950
No, no, no!
583
00:34:43,518 --> 00:34:45,317
Ooh, yeah! Ooh.
584
00:34:45,451 --> 00:34:46,384
Ow.
585
00:34:46,518 --> 00:34:48,017
Teamwork, yeah!
586
00:34:48,151 --> 00:34:51,451
Great effort, Alan, but that man
was already unconscious.
587
00:34:51,583 --> 00:34:53,284
I was already wound up.
588
00:34:54,184 --> 00:34:56,984
Just don't do it
when I'm...
589
00:35:00,051 --> 00:35:01,317
Hi.
590
00:35:03,550 --> 00:35:05,284
Oh!
591
00:35:06,550 --> 00:35:08,184
On your seven!
592
00:35:13,117 --> 00:35:14,184
Oh!
593
00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:20,884
Trainer, he's not asleep!
594
00:35:21,017 --> 00:35:23,151
Stay... Stay down. Stay down.
595
00:35:25,784 --> 00:35:28,284
- You're doing great.
- Thanks.
596
00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:29,950
Where you going?
597
00:35:32,884 --> 00:35:35,384
What?
598
00:35:38,084 --> 00:35:39,550
Loretta Sage?
599
00:35:40,051 --> 00:35:40,784
Yes.
600
00:35:40,917 --> 00:35:42,817
I'm getting you out of here.
601
00:35:43,817 --> 00:35:46,884
- Why are you so handsome?
- My dad was a weatherman.
602
00:35:49,084 --> 00:35:49,850
A-Alan?
603
00:35:49,984 --> 00:35:51,984
- Yeah.
- What are you doing here?
604
00:35:52,117 --> 00:35:54,917
- Uh, irregardless, I'm here to save you.
- That's not...
605
00:35:55,051 --> 00:35:57,317
- I think he meant "regardless."
- Yes.
606
00:35:58,683 --> 00:36:02,617
Ooh, uh, does she need saving in there,
Trainer? I think she's fine there.
607
00:36:02,750 --> 00:36:05,984
No, no, leave it. Don't take their stuff.
They'll come after us.
608
00:36:08,617 --> 00:36:10,117
Alan, why do you
keep doing that?
609
00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:12,184
Why do you keep doing that?
I had that one.
610
00:36:12,317 --> 00:36:14,817
It's just getting mean now.
It's unnecessary.
611
00:36:14,950 --> 00:36:16,650
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to get one in.
612
00:36:16,784 --> 00:36:19,850
- Excuse me. Would it be possible to remove me from the chair?
- No time.
613
00:36:19,984 --> 00:36:22,317
No time? There's been so much chitchat.
614
00:36:22,451 --> 00:36:23,717
We should definitely go.
615
00:36:23,850 --> 00:36:25,451
Let's go! Let's go!
616
00:36:51,351 --> 00:36:52,451
Why are things exploding?
617
00:37:00,184 --> 00:37:01,217
I got...
618
00:37:02,850 --> 00:37:04,084
Okay.
619
00:37:04,984 --> 00:37:06,217
Shh...
620
00:37:06,351 --> 00:37:08,217
Shh. You're safe now.
621
00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:09,451
You're...
622
00:37:09,583 --> 00:37:11,683
How... How are you so calm?
623
00:37:11,817 --> 00:37:14,317
- That was my... That was my line.
- Here.
624
00:37:16,451 --> 00:37:18,284
- What?
- Is that Reiki?
625
00:37:18,418 --> 00:37:20,850
- Are you healing me?
- I think so.
626
00:37:20,984 --> 00:37:24,084
- Ah.
- As Laozi says, "To the mind that is still..."
627
00:37:24,217 --> 00:37:27,117
- "...the whole universe surrenders."
- Hey, yeah, I know some...
628
00:37:27,251 --> 00:37:30,051
I know some, um,
quotes that could be good for this moment.
629
00:37:30,184 --> 00:37:31,917
In omnia paratus.
630
00:37:32,784 --> 00:37:34,583
"Ready for anything."
631
00:37:34,717 --> 00:37:37,351
Maybe we shouldn't be just staring
lovingly into each other's eyes
632
00:37:37,484 --> 00:37:40,984
like you're gonna fall in love
like I'm not here.
633
00:37:41,451 --> 00:37:42,451
Who are you?
634
00:37:42,583 --> 00:37:45,251
Just a guy
trying to do his job.
635
00:37:45,384 --> 00:37:48,217
And right now, that job
is to get this lovely lady...
636
00:37:49,051 --> 00:37:50,518
Oh! Oh.
637
00:37:50,650 --> 00:37:52,550
Oh, God. Okay.
638
00:37:53,717 --> 00:37:55,950
No. What is happening?
639
00:37:59,384 --> 00:38:01,351
Okay. What do we do?
640
00:38:01,484 --> 00:38:03,550
We need to do... I can't see.
641
00:38:03,683 --> 00:38:05,084
I don't like it!
642
00:38:05,217 --> 00:38:06,650
Here. Here!
643
00:38:06,784 --> 00:38:09,251
- Why would you throw a gun?
- Seriously?
644
00:38:10,583 --> 00:38:13,418
- Get me out of the chair.
- I can't. We don't have time.
645
00:38:16,984 --> 00:38:19,017
Gotta squeeze!
You got to do a Kegel or something!
646
00:38:19,151 --> 00:38:21,518
- Kegel it!
- What do you think a Kegel is?
647
00:38:21,650 --> 00:38:23,917
I'm not in it, not in!
Still not in!
648
00:38:24,051 --> 00:38:26,418
- You got to go in more.
- Stop. Stop. Stop it!
649
00:38:26,550 --> 00:38:28,484
Oh, oh, oh!
650
00:38:28,617 --> 00:38:32,151
Oh, God. Get in the car, get in the car!
Start the car! Start the car!
651
00:38:32,284 --> 00:38:33,550
- Go, go.
- Move your leg.
652
00:38:33,683 --> 00:38:36,017
- Which one?
- Both of them! Move them!
653
00:38:39,750 --> 00:38:41,683
- Forward, forward!
- Okay. Okay.
654
00:38:41,817 --> 00:38:46,151
- I'm going! I'm going! Okay!
- Drive!
655
00:38:47,251 --> 00:38:50,917
Shh. You're safe now. Shh.
656
00:38:52,550 --> 00:38:53,884
Ow.
657
00:38:54,017 --> 00:38:56,151
- Shh. You're safe now.
- No, I'm not. Not safe.
658
00:38:56,284 --> 00:38:57,984
Oh, no, am I bleeding?
659
00:38:58,117 --> 00:39:01,117
- I don't think that's yours.
- Oh, no, that's a lot of blood.
660
00:39:02,484 --> 00:39:04,284
Cheese and rice!
661
00:39:04,418 --> 00:39:05,850
- Are those his brains?
- What?
662
00:39:05,984 --> 00:39:07,950
I think his brains
are on my face!
663
00:39:08,084 --> 00:39:11,650
Definitely his brains are in my mouth.
I can taste his thoughts!
664
00:39:11,784 --> 00:39:12,950
Focus on the road.
665
00:39:13,084 --> 00:39:15,184
He just liked
training people. Trainer.
666
00:39:15,317 --> 00:39:18,151
- What are you talking about?
- He loved me.
667
00:39:18,284 --> 00:39:20,850
Can you just scooch the car
over to the left?
668
00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:24,617
- Get it off. Get it off.
- Oh, God.
669
00:39:24,750 --> 00:39:26,051
Watch out!
670
00:39:30,251 --> 00:39:33,117
Oh! Oh! Oh!
671
00:39:35,418 --> 00:39:37,184
Oh, did you see...
672
00:39:40,151 --> 00:39:41,184
No.
673
00:39:46,583 --> 00:39:47,917
Oh.
674
00:39:49,351 --> 00:39:51,683
Oh, no. Oh, no.
675
00:39:52,217 --> 00:39:53,717
Oh, no.
676
00:40:02,117 --> 00:40:03,650
Oh, no.
677
00:40:04,317 --> 00:40:06,084
Alan?
678
00:40:06,217 --> 00:40:09,817
Oh, holy Christmas.
Are you okay? Are you okay?
679
00:40:09,950 --> 00:40:12,017
Do you think you could
get me out of here?
680
00:40:12,151 --> 00:40:13,650
Yeah. Okay.
681
00:40:13,784 --> 00:40:16,650
- You just flew out of the car.
- I did. I did, indeed.
682
00:40:16,784 --> 00:40:18,184
Okay. I got you.
I got you.
683
00:40:18,317 --> 00:40:20,750
Can you get me out of the chair?
Get me out of the chair.
684
00:40:20,884 --> 00:40:22,750
You're right.
You're right. You're right.
685
00:40:24,051 --> 00:40:25,850
- Is that... Is that a nail filer?
- Yeah.
686
00:40:25,984 --> 00:40:27,418
- Can you just rip it?
- It's working.
687
00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:29,351
And maybe next time
I toss a gun at you,
688
00:40:29,484 --> 00:40:31,317
you can catch it
instead of ducking.
689
00:40:31,451 --> 00:40:34,650
How about the next time you toss a gun
at me, you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"?
690
00:40:34,784 --> 00:40:36,617
Then maybe do that
before you throw it?
691
00:40:36,750 --> 00:40:38,850
Well, "here"
is a synonym for "catch."
692
00:40:38,984 --> 00:40:40,484
No, "here" is not a cinnamon
for "catch."
693
00:40:40,617 --> 00:40:42,650
In a colloquial kind of way,
yes, it is.
694
00:40:42,784 --> 00:40:44,850
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a sweatshirt.
695
00:40:44,984 --> 00:40:46,950
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a pen.
696
00:40:47,084 --> 00:40:50,084
How 'bout just,
"Hey! Catch! Gun!"
697
00:40:50,217 --> 00:40:53,217
Anything that you want to throw,
I'll catch it because you said, "Catch."
698
00:40:53,351 --> 00:40:55,084
And I'll catch it
because you said it.
699
00:40:55,217 --> 00:40:57,617
That is also an option,
and then we would have a gun with us.
700
00:40:57,750 --> 00:40:58,817
That's a thing.
701
00:40:58,950 --> 00:41:01,217
- Be careful.
- Okay, we need to call...
702
00:41:01,351 --> 00:41:02,950
Be careful.
703
00:41:03,084 --> 00:41:05,583
We need to call for help,
get to the airport and get out of here.
704
00:41:05,717 --> 00:41:07,784
- And I am driving.
- Okay.
705
00:41:09,917 --> 00:41:12,850
Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
706
00:41:22,484 --> 00:41:24,817
Okay, call for...
call for help.
707
00:41:24,950 --> 00:41:26,784
Where's your phone?
708
00:41:30,151 --> 00:41:31,184
Okay.
709
00:41:34,784 --> 00:41:37,617
- Tell me you caught them.
- I tagged the blond one.
710
00:41:39,284 --> 00:41:42,084
Oh, Loretta.
711
00:41:42,217 --> 00:41:44,251
What are you thinking?
712
00:41:44,384 --> 00:41:47,451
You might've killed one of them,
but his partner's still with her.
713
00:41:47,583 --> 00:41:51,284
And he is clearly skilled,
highly trained
714
00:41:52,284 --> 00:41:53,950
and very dangerous.
715
00:42:03,717 --> 00:42:07,750
So, Miss Sage said
she was gonna leave the event,
716
00:42:07,884 --> 00:42:12,484
then got in a car
and left the event?
717
00:42:12,617 --> 00:42:15,351
- Did you try calling her?
- She doesn't have her phone.
718
00:42:15,484 --> 00:42:16,850
- Stolen phone.
- Didn't say that.
719
00:42:16,984 --> 00:42:18,717
Where's my magnifier?
720
00:42:18,850 --> 00:42:20,784
Listen, can you please
help with Nana?
721
00:42:20,917 --> 00:42:23,217
I don't want her hearing about Loretta
'cause it's going to upset her.
722
00:42:23,351 --> 00:42:26,418
- What about Loretta?
- Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip.
723
00:42:26,550 --> 00:42:27,784
- Good.
- Yeah.
724
00:42:27,917 --> 00:42:30,384
That girl needed
to get out of the house.
725
00:42:30,518 --> 00:42:34,583
So, this is the thing.
Loretta's phone is not stolen. I took it.
726
00:42:34,717 --> 00:42:39,151
I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave
it to the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer.
727
00:42:39,284 --> 00:42:41,550
And that is how we found
her wearable.
728
00:42:41,683 --> 00:42:43,317
- And who's Alan?
- Dash.
729
00:42:43,451 --> 00:42:46,317
- What's that?
- He's the hero in all of her books.
730
00:42:46,451 --> 00:42:49,418
- Nana. Hey, slut.
- Mm-mmm.
731
00:42:49,550 --> 00:42:52,451
Let's go in the other room and talk
about whichever war you lived through.
732
00:42:52,583 --> 00:42:55,717
Okay. Come on, it'll be fun.
I'm sorry. It'll be fun.
733
00:42:55,850 --> 00:42:57,717
Listen,
Loretta Sage is missing.
734
00:42:57,850 --> 00:43:00,051
When I looked at her smartwatch,
it said that she had flown
735
00:43:00,184 --> 00:43:01,850
to some island
I've never even heard about.
736
00:43:01,984 --> 00:43:03,617
That means y'all need
to do something about this.
737
00:43:03,750 --> 00:43:06,117
And if you can't, I will,
and that won't look good for you.
738
00:43:06,251 --> 00:43:08,950
Pretty sure that's
outside our jurisdiction.
739
00:43:09,084 --> 00:43:12,084
- You'd have to call the Feds.
- Okay.
740
00:43:12,217 --> 00:43:14,583
And if you do go to the Feds,
put in a good word for me.
741
00:43:14,717 --> 00:43:17,151
- For me.
- For us.
742
00:43:22,683 --> 00:43:24,217
Oh, oh.
743
00:43:31,217 --> 00:43:33,451
What are you gonna do,
put the car back together?
744
00:43:33,583 --> 00:43:35,817
Well... we could...
745
00:43:51,683 --> 00:43:54,384
- Where did you say the phone was?
- Passenger glove.
746
00:43:54,518 --> 00:43:56,251
- What?
- Passenger glove compartment.
747
00:43:56,384 --> 00:43:57,617
Goodness.
748
00:43:58,717 --> 00:44:00,184
Oh, my God.
749
00:44:00,317 --> 00:44:02,550
Oh, my God. No phone, no car.
We're so gonna die out...
750
00:44:02,683 --> 00:44:04,384
- Here.
- What is this?
751
00:44:04,518 --> 00:44:06,184
Boots for the jungle.
752
00:44:07,017 --> 00:44:08,817
It's not exactly
hiking boots, but...
753
00:44:08,950 --> 00:44:11,550
I figured your feet would be killing
you after wearing heels for this long.
754
00:44:11,683 --> 00:44:14,084
It was the best we could do.
They're Allison's. Sorry.
755
00:44:14,850 --> 00:44:16,884
Oh. Okay, well, thank you.
756
00:44:17,017 --> 00:44:18,784
Here, oh, I got you cheese.
757
00:44:18,917 --> 00:44:20,717
- Oh, my God.
- You got to stay hydrated.
758
00:44:20,850 --> 00:44:22,717
- Thank you so much.
- They didn't have glass bottles,
759
00:44:22,850 --> 00:44:24,884
so we'll definitely
hold onto it and recycle.
760
00:44:27,418 --> 00:44:32,084
Okay, so what we need to do is find a
phone, we need to call the authorities,
761
00:44:32,217 --> 00:44:35,084
and we need to wait here until
somebody comes and rescues us.
762
00:44:35,217 --> 00:44:38,717
Uh... This...
This is the rescue.
763
00:44:38,850 --> 00:44:40,084
No one else is coming.
764
00:44:40,217 --> 00:44:42,184
- I'm sorry?
- I'm the rescue.
765
00:44:42,317 --> 00:44:45,217
It was originally just gonna be me,
then I was like, Trainer should come.
766
00:44:45,351 --> 00:44:47,017
Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace.
767
00:44:47,151 --> 00:44:51,351
So, our best bet is to get to the airport.
See this road right here?
768
00:44:51,484 --> 00:44:54,184
From this area, just take a shortcut
through the jungle to the road.
769
00:44:54,317 --> 00:44:56,184
Did you just say "shortcut
through the jungle"?
770
00:44:56,317 --> 00:44:57,817
- Yeah.
- Okay, do you see us?
771
00:44:57,950 --> 00:45:00,451
- Uh-huh.
- You are not Dash, and I'm not Lovemore. Okay?
772
00:45:00,583 --> 00:45:01,950
I'm Loretta, and you are Alan.
773
00:45:02,084 --> 00:45:04,351
- And jungles eat people like us, okay?
- Eat people.
774
00:45:04,484 --> 00:45:07,784
And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit.
It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put.
775
00:45:07,917 --> 00:45:09,817
We're not just gonna
stand around here, okay?
776
00:45:09,950 --> 00:45:11,284
We're gonna go
through the jungle,
777
00:45:11,418 --> 00:45:13,484
we're gonna go to the airport
and find a phone,
778
00:45:13,617 --> 00:45:16,617
- so you can have your cake and get what you want.
- "And eat it too"?
779
00:45:16,750 --> 00:45:19,151
If that's what you want to do
with your cake, fine. Let's go.
780
00:45:19,284 --> 00:45:21,184
- That's the only thing you do with cake.
- Not mine.
781
00:45:21,317 --> 00:45:23,683
I don't know what your people
do, but my people eat it.
782
00:45:23,817 --> 00:45:26,017
You could give it
to someone as a gift.
783
00:45:26,151 --> 00:45:28,351
Those people
are still going to eat the cake.
784
00:45:28,484 --> 00:45:30,051
Everybody eats cake.
785
00:45:30,184 --> 00:45:31,917
What about the kind
people jump out of?
786
00:45:32,051 --> 00:45:35,017
- They don't eat it, when they're in it.
- Oh, my God.
787
00:46:01,284 --> 00:46:02,850
What did they
kidnap you for anyhow?
788
00:46:02,984 --> 00:46:04,817
Is it some weird sex stuff
like Taken?
789
00:46:04,950 --> 00:46:06,451
Oh, my God, thank you.
790
00:46:06,583 --> 00:46:09,317
I thought so too,
but the guy's one of the Fairfaxes.
791
00:46:09,451 --> 00:46:11,217
- Beverly?
- No, the older one.
792
00:46:11,351 --> 00:46:14,750
The really odd one that had the vlog
on finding Montezuma's treasure.
793
00:46:14,884 --> 00:46:17,284
The dude that was on the news
for trying to raise the Titanic?
794
00:46:17,418 --> 00:46:19,184
Yes,
he's looking for the Crown of Fire.
795
00:46:19,317 --> 00:46:23,184
Wait a minute. Like the actual
Crown of Fire? Like the one...
796
00:46:23,317 --> 00:46:26,650
- So those ruins were...
- They were the Lost City of D, yes.
797
00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:29,117
- What? Are you kidding me right now?
- Shh.
798
00:46:29,251 --> 00:46:30,650
This is like your book.
799
00:46:30,784 --> 00:46:33,583
So we're basically on a Lovemore
and Dash adventure right now?
800
00:46:33,717 --> 00:46:35,683
What is that?
801
00:46:35,817 --> 00:46:38,284
What if Fairfax
actually finds the crown?
802
00:46:38,418 --> 00:46:39,750
He won't. He won't.
803
00:46:41,950 --> 00:46:43,017
- Where do we go?
- Uh...
804
00:46:43,151 --> 00:46:45,151
Oh, oh, oh.
805
00:46:48,184 --> 00:46:50,317
Okay, uh, we need
to get in the water.
806
00:46:50,451 --> 00:46:52,518
- W-What?
- We need to go by river.
807
00:46:52,650 --> 00:46:54,418
No, no,
I don't really do water.
808
00:46:54,550 --> 00:46:56,884
What do you mean, "do water"?
I'm not asking you to procreate with it.
809
00:46:57,017 --> 00:46:59,418
Uh, my body and water
don't really go together.
810
00:46:59,550 --> 00:47:01,917
How do you feel about dying? Oh, God.
811
00:47:02,051 --> 00:47:03,884
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're okay. You're okay.
812
00:47:04,017 --> 00:47:06,817
- I got you. Fine.
- I can swim. I can swim. Thank you very much.
813
00:47:06,950 --> 00:47:08,984
- Where are you going?
- I'm crossing.
814
00:47:09,117 --> 00:47:11,051
No, we have to stay
in the water.
815
00:47:11,184 --> 00:47:13,617
I researched aquatic counter-tracking
for my book, A Year in the Bush.
816
00:47:13,750 --> 00:47:15,717
They'll lose our tracks
in the water.
817
00:47:15,850 --> 00:47:18,617
Why is it warm here?
Wait, are you peeing?
818
00:47:18,750 --> 00:47:20,717
Just go around it.
819
00:47:49,484 --> 00:47:50,950
Okay, I think...
820
00:47:51,084 --> 00:47:52,950
I think
we lost them, right?
821
00:47:53,084 --> 00:47:56,084
Yeah. That wasn't so bad.
Yeah.
822
00:47:56,217 --> 00:47:57,817
Okay, uh...
823
00:47:57,950 --> 00:48:00,351
- Don't panic.
- What do you mean, don't panic?
824
00:48:00,484 --> 00:48:01,683
- Just don't panic.
- No.
825
00:48:01,817 --> 00:48:03,550
Stop saying "panic."
I'm panicking now.
826
00:48:03,683 --> 00:48:05,550
You have something
on your back.
827
00:48:07,051 --> 00:48:07,817
No!
828
00:48:07,950 --> 00:48:09,418
- Stop screaming.
- What is that?
829
00:48:09,550 --> 00:48:10,750
- What is that?
- Stop screaming.
830
00:48:10,884 --> 00:48:12,317
- Do you have any on you?
- No. No.
831
00:48:12,451 --> 00:48:13,850
Why don't you have any
on you?
832
00:48:13,984 --> 00:48:15,750
Maybe the jumpsuit scared them off.
I don't know.
833
00:48:15,884 --> 00:48:17,351
- Get 'em off.
- Oh, my God.
834
00:48:17,484 --> 00:48:19,984
Okay. No, I can't touch
those blood-gorged mucous sacks.
835
00:48:20,117 --> 00:48:21,484
- Can you fling it?
- Right now.
836
00:48:21,617 --> 00:48:22,950
- Get it.
- Just pick it and fling it.
837
00:48:23,084 --> 00:48:24,950
- Just pick it and fling it.
- You pick it and fling it!
838
00:48:25,084 --> 00:48:27,117
- Can you spin it off?
- Please, get it off.
839
00:48:27,251 --> 00:48:29,251
I don't like touching it.
I'm feeling faint.
840
00:48:29,384 --> 00:48:32,484
- They're sucking my soul out.
- Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop.
841
00:48:34,151 --> 00:48:36,418
Don't make that sound.
842
00:48:40,017 --> 00:48:41,484
How many of them are there?
843
00:48:41,617 --> 00:48:43,084
Oh, there's not many.
844
00:48:43,217 --> 00:48:45,217
- It feels like there's so many.
- What are you...
845
00:48:45,351 --> 00:48:46,617
- I feel so many.
- Oh!
846
00:48:46,750 --> 00:48:49,251
- Holy mother of God!
- Why are you praying?
847
00:48:49,384 --> 00:48:52,418
Is it that bad? It can't be that bad.
Is it that bad? How many?
848
00:48:52,550 --> 00:48:53,750
It's not great.
849
00:48:53,884 --> 00:48:55,484
They're gonna suck
every bit of me out.
850
00:48:55,617 --> 00:48:58,284
Just please stop speaking.
I just need to... need to get low.
851
00:48:58,418 --> 00:49:00,084
Hold on a second.
852
00:49:00,217 --> 00:49:02,984
Oh, God! I can feel them just...
they're just sucking out so much.
853
00:49:03,117 --> 00:49:05,950
I'm gonna be like a shriveled-up
skin sack when they're done.
854
00:49:06,084 --> 00:49:08,051
You cannot tell my dad
I died this way, okay?
855
00:49:08,184 --> 00:49:12,184
You gotta tell him I was wrestling an
anaconda with a sword or something.
856
00:49:12,317 --> 00:49:15,084
I'm like a blood Jamba Juice.
They're just sucking it all out.
857
00:49:15,217 --> 00:49:16,817
Why are they all
on my butt though?
858
00:49:16,950 --> 00:49:19,550
Kind of like picking anchovies
off my Caesar salad.
859
00:49:19,683 --> 00:49:21,317
- It's actually not so bad.
- Anchovies?
860
00:49:21,451 --> 00:49:22,984
Why do you go to food
right now?
861
00:49:23,117 --> 00:49:25,950
Just find the queen,
and let's be done with this.
862
00:49:26,084 --> 00:49:28,418
Think you're good.
I need to just check your front.
863
00:49:28,550 --> 00:49:30,817
Okay. I can't look.
864
00:49:33,051 --> 00:49:34,317
Is it bad?
865
00:49:34,451 --> 00:49:37,518
- Uh, wow.
- What is it? Just say it.
866
00:49:37,650 --> 00:49:40,984
I mean, you expect it to,
you know, not...
867
00:49:41,117 --> 00:49:43,817
Then suddenly there it is,
and it is, uh...
868
00:49:43,950 --> 00:49:46,151
- You know, you get excited for a person.
- What?
869
00:49:46,284 --> 00:49:48,884
- I mean, I'm excited for all people.
- Why are you excited?
870
00:49:49,017 --> 00:49:51,317
Well, you know, people
wonder, they wonder,
871
00:49:51,451 --> 00:49:53,017
but they don't know, right?
872
00:49:53,151 --> 00:49:55,583
They don't,
until suddenly they do know,
873
00:49:55,717 --> 00:50:00,017
and then they... they know
something that wasn't known before.
874
00:50:00,151 --> 00:50:01,984
Just...
Do I have any leeches or not?
875
00:50:02,117 --> 00:50:06,217
Oh, your plucky warrior hangs
in tranquil solitude.
876
00:50:06,351 --> 00:50:07,418
What?
877
00:50:07,550 --> 00:50:09,750
No, you're good.
You're good.
878
00:50:10,850 --> 00:50:12,550
We were so brave just then.
879
00:50:12,683 --> 00:50:14,950
Why do they go for the butt
so much?
880
00:51:06,309 --> 00:51:09,142
What's that song
you're singing?
881
00:51:09,276 --> 00:51:12,309
A song my abbi used to sing
to me when I was a kid.
882
00:51:13,242 --> 00:51:15,909
- "If you suck life from the island...
- Yeah?
883
00:51:16,042 --> 00:51:18,808
...the island
will suck of you."
884
00:51:18,942 --> 00:51:22,842
Your grandma sang you songs about
getting sucked off by an island?
885
00:51:22,975 --> 00:51:25,342
It doesn't translate
super well.
886
00:51:26,209 --> 00:51:29,009
Is phantom leech syndrome,
like, a thing?
887
00:51:29,142 --> 00:51:31,176
They don't lay eggs,
do they?
888
00:52:20,242 --> 00:52:21,442
Queen Taha?
889
00:52:35,009 --> 00:52:39,409
"King Kalaman
and his treasure laid to rest...
890
00:52:40,309 --> 00:52:43,942
laid to rest
in the well of endless tears.
891
00:52:44,075 --> 00:52:45,975
Laid to rest in
the well of endless tears."
892
00:52:46,109 --> 00:52:48,042
- What does that mean?
- Loretta!
893
00:52:48,708 --> 00:52:50,376
You gave me
a heart attack.
894
00:52:51,042 --> 00:52:52,708
Where'd you go?
895
00:52:56,775 --> 00:52:58,276
What is this?
896
00:52:58,409 --> 00:53:01,675
I'm not sure,
but maybe they gathered here?
897
00:53:04,209 --> 00:53:06,842
Can you imagine
being right here,
898
00:53:06,975 --> 00:53:09,609
right in this very spot
back then?
899
00:53:09,742 --> 00:53:11,409
The stories
that they told?
900
00:53:11,543 --> 00:53:14,342
So much history I'm sure
happened right here.
901
00:53:19,675 --> 00:53:21,009
They've got us cornered.
902
00:53:21,142 --> 00:53:22,775
- Okay. We've got to go up. Come on.
- What?
903
00:53:22,909 --> 00:53:26,009
Have you seen what I'm wearing?
I'm in a glitter straitjacket.
904
00:53:26,142 --> 00:53:29,075
There's nowhere to go but up.
Come on. Let's go.
905
00:53:29,209 --> 00:53:32,775
Oh! I should not be doing this.
I'm too old for this.
906
00:53:32,909 --> 00:53:33,942
No, you're not.
You're beautiful.
907
00:53:34,075 --> 00:53:35,708
I didn't say I'm not beautiful.
908
00:53:35,842 --> 00:53:37,675
I said I'm too old
to be doing this.
909
00:53:37,808 --> 00:53:41,409
My skill is sitting and thinking
and eating when I can't think.
910
00:53:41,543 --> 00:53:43,942
Yeah, you definitely could be
wearing better shoes for this.
911
00:53:44,075 --> 00:53:45,942
You brought me
these shoes.
912
00:53:46,075 --> 00:53:48,609
I can't go any further.
I can't go any further.
913
00:53:48,742 --> 00:53:50,442
I'm not doing
so great here.
914
00:53:50,576 --> 00:53:51,875
You got it. Come on.
915
00:53:52,009 --> 00:53:53,875
I know you think
that you're safer holding on,
916
00:53:54,009 --> 00:53:55,242
but you have to keep going.
917
00:53:55,376 --> 00:53:57,309
- I can't. I can't, I can't.
- Okay?
918
00:53:58,075 --> 00:53:59,476
- Do you smell that?
- Smell what?
919
00:53:59,609 --> 00:54:01,342
- I smell something.
- Is it a predator? What is it?
920
00:54:01,476 --> 00:54:03,409
- A downward cascading fire?
- You got to smell deeper.
921
00:54:03,543 --> 00:54:04,675
I don't smell anything!
922
00:54:08,109 --> 00:54:11,342
Take a big, deep breath.
923
00:54:11,476 --> 00:54:12,742
All right.
924
00:54:12,875 --> 00:54:14,442
- Good job.
- Okay.
925
00:54:14,576 --> 00:54:18,176
- That was manipulative. Thank you.
- Yeah, it was.
926
00:54:18,309 --> 00:54:20,775
Here we go. I'm gonna help you
out a little bit, all right?
927
00:54:20,909 --> 00:54:22,975
- One, two, three... Here we go!
- What are you doing?
928
00:54:23,109 --> 00:54:24,442
- Get out of there.
- Come on.
929
00:54:24,576 --> 00:54:26,609
- No, no, don't flex.
- That's my hoo-hoo.
930
00:54:26,742 --> 00:54:29,675
Just ride the head.
Keep the hands moving and ride the head.
931
00:54:29,808 --> 00:54:31,075
- Oh, God.
- You're doing great.
932
00:54:31,209 --> 00:54:33,909
Sorry about the scratchy haircut.
Come on.
933
00:54:53,875 --> 00:54:56,176
Dulcius ex asperis.
934
00:54:56,675 --> 00:54:58,109
What was that?
935
00:54:58,242 --> 00:54:59,742
Oh, nothing.
936
00:54:59,875 --> 00:55:02,042
It was just something
that John and I would say
937
00:55:02,176 --> 00:55:05,276
after we finished
something big, like a...
938
00:55:05,409 --> 00:55:07,342
like an archaeological dig
or a manuscript.
939
00:55:07,476 --> 00:55:10,808
It's Latin. It means
"sweeter after difficulty."
940
00:55:11,942 --> 00:55:13,309
What's...
941
00:55:13,442 --> 00:55:15,309
What's Latin
for "Loretta's a badass"?
942
00:55:15,442 --> 00:55:19,909
I am a badass.
I climbed a mountain.
943
00:55:20,042 --> 00:55:22,975
Oh, my God. I wish Beth
could've seen us do this.
944
00:55:23,109 --> 00:55:25,909
- Oh, God. Beth.
- Don't worry about Beth.
945
00:55:26,042 --> 00:55:29,509
She's probably got the whole
navy after us right now.
946
00:55:29,643 --> 00:55:32,675
I get that you think you have
to go to the island authorities yourself,
947
00:55:32,808 --> 00:55:36,209
but don't worry, I'm keeping
Loretta's socials super active.
948
00:55:36,342 --> 00:55:38,708
Just tweeted,
"Did I just get kidnapped?
949
00:55:38,842 --> 00:55:42,309
#FML, @ShawnMendes,
#ShawnMendes."
950
00:55:42,442 --> 00:55:44,075
And you're traveling alone?
951
00:55:44,209 --> 00:55:47,075
Yes, I'm traveling alone.
Mm-hmm. I'm single.
952
00:55:47,643 --> 00:55:48,808
Then this might work.
953
00:55:48,942 --> 00:55:50,708
- Okay! Talk to me.
- You'll hit New York.
954
00:55:50,842 --> 00:55:54,309
From there, you'll fly to Guinea,
where you can pick up a puddle jumper.
955
00:55:54,442 --> 00:55:55,509
A what?
956
00:55:56,409 --> 00:55:57,874
- Small plane.
- Yeah, no leg room.
957
00:55:58,009 --> 00:55:59,176
That's fine. I'll take it.
958
00:55:59,309 --> 00:56:01,376
- Or you could just come home.
- Thank you.
959
00:56:09,209 --> 00:56:11,675
We need something more flammable.
Everything is just so wet.
960
00:56:11,808 --> 00:56:13,309
What's in here?
What's in your bag?
961
00:56:13,442 --> 00:56:15,276
- Uh...
- Oh, a lot. Okay.
962
00:56:15,409 --> 00:56:16,808
What are you doing?
963
00:56:16,942 --> 00:56:18,808
Okay. Face masks.
964
00:56:18,942 --> 00:56:20,276
Yeah, that was like
a gift-basket thing.
965
00:56:20,409 --> 00:56:22,376
You brought a scented candle
into the jungle?
966
00:56:22,509 --> 00:56:23,742
My mom gave me that.
967
00:56:23,875 --> 00:56:25,376
It was like a weird gift
for Mother's Day.
968
00:56:25,509 --> 00:56:27,842
Your mom gives you gifts
for Mother's Day?
969
00:56:29,109 --> 00:56:29,909
Noir...
970
00:56:30,042 --> 00:56:32,042
Eucalyptus rosemary oil.
Ooh.
971
00:56:32,609 --> 00:56:33,842
Oh, that smells good.
972
00:56:33,975 --> 00:56:36,142
Um... Oh, okay. All right.
973
00:56:36,276 --> 00:56:37,842
Whoo! Yes!
974
00:56:37,975 --> 00:56:40,376
Yes, I made fire!
975
00:56:40,509 --> 00:56:44,042
- That's pretty impressive. You have to...
- It is a beautiful fire.
976
00:56:44,176 --> 00:56:46,075
Who would have thought?
977
00:56:46,209 --> 00:56:48,708
Oh, you're just, um,
taking your shirt off?
978
00:56:49,808 --> 00:56:51,742
That looks
really uncomfortable.
979
00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:53,742
Are you okay? The back?
980
00:56:53,875 --> 00:56:57,909
Yeah. That is why
I don't do water.
981
00:56:58,042 --> 00:57:00,342
- Okay.
- My body becomes an eighth-grader's face.
982
00:57:00,476 --> 00:57:03,309
Do you have anything for it?
Like some ointment or something?
983
00:57:03,442 --> 00:57:05,276
Yeah, I do. Well, I did.
984
00:57:05,409 --> 00:57:07,476
It was in a little,
tiny little bottle.
985
00:57:07,609 --> 00:57:09,543
It was this. I'm sorry.
986
00:57:09,675 --> 00:57:11,675
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
987
00:57:11,808 --> 00:57:13,109
It's okay.
988
00:57:13,242 --> 00:57:15,543
- Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here.
- What?
989
00:57:15,675 --> 00:57:18,042
- Come here. Sit down.
- Let me see.
990
00:57:18,176 --> 00:57:19,643
- Just sit down.
- Right here?
991
00:57:19,775 --> 00:57:21,009
Yeah.
992
00:57:22,209 --> 00:57:23,742
Okay.
993
00:57:23,875 --> 00:57:25,775
Oh, no, you don't have to touch it.
It's okay. It's fine.
994
00:57:25,909 --> 00:57:27,842
I touched
your engorged sacks, so...
995
00:57:30,075 --> 00:57:31,775
- The leeches.
- Oh, okay.
996
00:57:31,909 --> 00:57:34,742
Okay, this might be
a little bit cold.
997
00:57:35,909 --> 00:57:37,609
- Sorry.
- Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
998
00:57:37,742 --> 00:57:38,975
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
999
00:57:39,109 --> 00:57:41,042
Maybe this is how
Dash should die.
1000
00:57:41,176 --> 00:57:44,176
Horrible eczema outbreak.
That's so sexy.
1001
00:57:44,309 --> 00:57:45,875
I could make it work.
1002
00:57:46,309 --> 00:57:47,342
Yeah?
1003
00:57:47,975 --> 00:57:49,442
All right, then.
1004
00:57:50,643 --> 00:57:52,342
How would you write this?
1005
00:57:52,476 --> 00:57:53,975
Okay.
1006
00:57:55,842 --> 00:57:59,109
"Warmed
by the fragrant fire..."
1007
00:57:59,242 --> 00:58:01,675
Mm-hmm.
1008
00:58:01,808 --> 00:58:03,675
- Starting strong.
- Mm-hmm.
1009
00:58:03,808 --> 00:58:06,975
"Lovemore's hands
explored the...
1010
00:58:08,708 --> 00:58:11,176
the contoured scenery
1011
00:58:11,309 --> 00:58:12,909
of Dash's body.
1012
00:58:15,009 --> 00:58:17,675
Familiar terrain made
1013
00:58:17,808 --> 00:58:20,176
new and exciting
with every...
1014
00:58:21,075 --> 00:58:23,442
with every scarlet rim."
1015
00:58:24,543 --> 00:58:26,242
And that didn't, uh...
1016
00:58:27,042 --> 00:58:28,543
didn't turn her off?
1017
00:58:28,675 --> 00:58:29,909
No.
1018
00:58:30,708 --> 00:58:32,543
"Because with every
cardinal ridge,
1019
00:58:33,543 --> 00:58:35,909
Lovemore discovered
another letter in the language
1020
00:58:36,042 --> 00:58:38,209
that only their bodies spoke."
1021
00:58:39,109 --> 00:58:41,276
And what were
their bodies saying?
1022
00:58:43,242 --> 00:58:44,775
"Take me...
1023
00:58:46,675 --> 00:58:48,309
take me,
1024
00:58:48,875 --> 00:58:50,476
take me."
1025
00:58:50,609 --> 00:58:51,942
How's that?
1026
00:58:52,742 --> 00:58:53,975
It was good.
1027
00:58:54,109 --> 00:58:55,808
- Your back. I mean, how is your back?
- Good.
1028
00:58:55,942 --> 00:58:57,309
- Okay. You sure?
- Yeah.
1029
00:58:57,442 --> 00:59:02,042
- I also meant my back. Right there, yeah.
- Okay.
1030
00:59:10,309 --> 00:59:11,342
Supplies.
1031
00:59:13,442 --> 00:59:17,708
Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm gonna
probably turn in in a little bit.
1032
00:59:17,842 --> 00:59:19,009
- Okay.
- You good?
1033
00:59:19,142 --> 00:59:21,775
Yeah, I'm fire... fine.
I'm fine.
1034
00:59:21,909 --> 00:59:24,875
I'm not "fire."
I'm fine by the fire.
1035
00:59:25,543 --> 00:59:27,276
Okay. All right.
1036
00:59:35,142 --> 00:59:38,409
Uh, it's up to you,
but if you're cold,
1037
00:59:38,543 --> 00:59:42,808
maybe we could probably both fit in
here, if you wanted to.
1038
00:59:43,476 --> 00:59:45,142
Both of us?
1039
00:59:45,276 --> 00:59:48,309
- Only if you want to. I mean, it's just...
- Yeah, no, that sounds...
1040
00:59:48,442 --> 00:59:49,875
Uh...
1041
00:59:50,009 --> 00:59:51,276
Okay. How do you...
1042
00:59:51,409 --> 00:59:53,342
You can go first,
then I'll figure it out.
1043
00:59:53,476 --> 00:59:56,576
No, no, you go. It's definitely a
"ladies first" type of situation.
1044
00:59:56,708 --> 00:59:59,342
- Keep hands out of the bag at all times.
- That's what I was gonna do.
1045
00:59:59,476 --> 01:00:01,109
- Butt to butt.
- Hands out and butt to butt.
1046
01:00:01,242 --> 01:00:04,543
- Yeah. What do I do?
- Just get in. Go ahead and sit.
1047
01:00:04,675 --> 01:00:07,376
I sit first?
Okay. I'm in.
1048
01:00:08,808 --> 01:00:11,442
You're too heavy. You're gonna
flip this thing like a cruise ship.
1049
01:00:11,576 --> 01:00:14,242
You watch yourself.
Hold on. I'm not in.
1050
01:00:14,376 --> 01:00:17,576
Why is this engaging
my core so much?
1051
01:00:18,342 --> 01:00:20,209
How 'bout you shimmy?
1052
01:00:20,342 --> 01:00:22,442
- I can't breathe. I'm not breathing.
- Are you good?
1053
01:00:22,576 --> 01:00:23,909
My face.
1054
01:00:24,476 --> 01:00:25,675
Yeah. Okay.
1055
01:00:28,808 --> 01:00:30,276
Hands are out. Butt to butt.
1056
01:00:30,409 --> 01:00:31,442
Okay.
1057
01:01:02,643 --> 01:01:04,209
Well!
1058
01:01:04,342 --> 01:01:05,442
Come on.
1059
01:01:05,576 --> 01:01:07,176
Come on! Let's hear it!
1060
01:01:07,309 --> 01:01:10,775
Let's give a nice round
of applause to Loretta!
1061
01:01:10,909 --> 01:01:12,476
She earned it.
1062
01:01:12,609 --> 01:01:16,509
A geriatric shut-in left you
holding your dicks in the jungle.
1063
01:01:16,643 --> 01:01:17,975
Good job, Loretta.
1064
01:01:18,109 --> 01:01:20,609
Boss, come on.
People are dying now.
1065
01:01:20,742 --> 01:01:24,409
Don't you think that maybe
this has all gone too far?
1066
01:01:25,643 --> 01:01:27,309
Is it really worth it?
1067
01:01:27,442 --> 01:01:30,808
I am on the cusp
of attaining the unattainable.
1068
01:01:30,942 --> 01:01:33,909
Something singular,
something no nation,
1069
01:01:34,042 --> 01:01:37,609
no emperor,
no brownnosing brothers ever have.
1070
01:01:37,742 --> 01:01:40,842
The legendary Crown of Fire.
1071
01:01:41,309 --> 01:01:42,376
So, yes.
1072
01:01:42,509 --> 01:01:44,808
Yes, I would definitely say
it's worth it.
1073
01:01:54,543 --> 01:01:56,009
Excuse me!
1074
01:01:56,142 --> 01:01:59,075
Excuse me, sir. I need to get
to my next connecting flight.
1075
01:01:59,209 --> 01:02:00,476
No flight.
1076
01:02:00,609 --> 01:02:03,142
The pilot is sick.
Come tomorrow.
1077
01:02:03,276 --> 01:02:05,376
No, no, sir. I cannot come tomorrow.
I need to do this today.
1078
01:02:05,509 --> 01:02:10,242
I need to get to the island Isla
Hundida tonight. Lives are at stake.
1079
01:02:10,376 --> 01:02:11,875
Come tomorrow.
1080
01:02:15,675 --> 01:02:17,309
- Excuse me, miss?
- Yes?
1081
01:02:17,442 --> 01:02:21,543
I couldn't help but overhear
you say that you like steak.
1082
01:02:21,675 --> 01:02:24,909
Okay, this is
a little bit crazy,
1083
01:02:25,042 --> 01:02:26,842
but I also like steak.
1084
01:02:26,975 --> 01:02:29,242
- What?
- I also like steak.
1085
01:02:29,376 --> 01:02:32,808
Would you like to, maybe,
I don't know...
1086
01:02:32,942 --> 01:02:35,742
- Maybe there's a...
- No. "Lives are at stake."
1087
01:02:35,875 --> 01:02:37,609
I need to go
to the island tonight.
1088
01:02:37,742 --> 01:02:39,109
- Ah.
- Yes.
1089
01:02:39,242 --> 01:02:40,775
- Even more serious.
- Extremely.
1090
01:02:40,909 --> 01:02:43,909
Well, I believe that I
may be able to assist you.
1091
01:02:44,042 --> 01:02:45,975
I have a cargo plane.
1092
01:02:47,109 --> 01:02:50,775
Maybe after I make my delivery,
we could swing by your island.
1093
01:02:50,909 --> 01:02:53,675
I'm about to ask you something,
and you better tell me the truth.
1094
01:02:53,808 --> 01:02:55,643
Have you ever
murdered anyone before?
1095
01:02:55,775 --> 01:02:59,109
No!
1096
01:03:02,576 --> 01:03:05,276
I don't know if I really buy it,
but let me tell you something.
1097
01:03:05,409 --> 01:03:09,643
If you ever think about murdering me,
I promise, I will murder you first.
1098
01:03:09,775 --> 01:03:11,075
My pleasure.
1099
01:03:11,209 --> 01:03:13,376
You are weird. Let's go.
1100
01:04:08,675 --> 01:04:12,142
"King Kalaman and his treasure
laid to rest in the well
1101
01:04:12,708 --> 01:04:14,209
of endless tears."
1102
01:04:15,875 --> 01:04:17,075
What is that?
1103
01:04:18,209 --> 01:04:21,643
Oh, it's a... it's a thing.
I mean, it's not, uh...
1104
01:04:21,775 --> 01:04:23,975
You know, it's not
what you think it is.
1105
01:04:24,109 --> 01:04:27,875
So it's not Fairfax's fragment
of an ancient parchment?
1106
01:04:28,009 --> 01:04:31,808
Okay.
It's what you think it is.
1107
01:04:31,942 --> 01:04:33,342
Loretta, I thought
you were smarter than that.
1108
01:04:33,476 --> 01:04:36,242
Fairfax is never
gonna stop hunting us now.
1109
01:04:36,376 --> 01:04:37,342
What were you thinking?
1110
01:04:37,476 --> 01:04:39,409
We have a volcano
that could bury the tomb
1111
01:04:39,543 --> 01:04:43,075
before we get to it, before we see
it, before we preserve its memory.
1112
01:04:43,209 --> 01:04:45,109
- This is...
- I'm sorry. Is that what we're doing?
1113
01:04:45,242 --> 01:04:47,742
'Cause no one told me.
When were you gonna tell me?
1114
01:04:47,875 --> 01:04:49,242
Why would I tell you?
1115
01:04:49,376 --> 01:04:51,109
We're in this together.
I came here to rescue you.
1116
01:04:51,242 --> 01:04:52,909
You know you're not Dash,
right?
1117
01:04:53,042 --> 01:04:55,242
You don't ride in on a white
horse to rescue people.
1118
01:04:55,376 --> 01:04:59,742
You... spray yourself with bronzer and
you stand in front of wind machines,
1119
01:04:59,875 --> 01:05:01,276
which is great for you.
1120
01:05:01,409 --> 01:05:04,042
How would you have any idea
what I'm actually like?
1121
01:05:04,176 --> 01:05:07,075
I know you. You're
a pretty open book, Alan.
1122
01:05:07,209 --> 01:05:09,009
- Okay, then who am I?
- Really?
1123
01:05:09,142 --> 01:05:10,176
Yeah.
1124
01:05:12,209 --> 01:05:14,376
O... Okay, uh...
1125
01:05:14,509 --> 01:05:17,576
You were a homecoming king and you
coasted on your good looks to LA,
1126
01:05:17,708 --> 01:05:20,209
but then realized that being the most
handsome kid in the middle of nowhere
1127
01:05:20,342 --> 01:05:22,042
doesn't mean
you're going to be a star.
1128
01:05:22,176 --> 01:05:23,942
Until one day, when a woman
who couldn't publish her book
1129
01:05:24,075 --> 01:05:27,675
on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic
decided to write a romance novel,
1130
01:05:27,808 --> 01:05:29,675
uh, chose you at random
to be on the cover.
1131
01:05:29,808 --> 01:05:33,242
Lucky for you and her,
the novels were a smashing success.
1132
01:05:33,376 --> 01:05:36,342
She kept writing her schlock,
you kept posing,
1133
01:05:36,476 --> 01:05:41,909
um, you know, neither one of us
becoming who we'd hoped we would be.
1134
01:05:42,042 --> 01:05:46,109
Uh, and then one day,
we both die in the jungle
1135
01:05:46,242 --> 01:05:50,075
on one of those Atlantic islands
I wrote about all those years ago.
1136
01:05:50,209 --> 01:05:51,242
Right?
1137
01:05:52,576 --> 01:05:53,909
Mm-hmm.
1138
01:06:05,176 --> 01:06:06,942
It was Sarasota, by the way.
1139
01:06:07,442 --> 01:06:08,975
It's not nowhere.
1140
01:06:09,109 --> 01:06:11,342
I grew up there with
my mom and two sisters.
1141
01:06:11,476 --> 01:06:12,509
And yeah...
1142
01:06:13,476 --> 01:06:16,142
I started modeling
'cause I wanted to get away.
1143
01:06:16,276 --> 01:06:18,176
It was the only job
that I could think of
1144
01:06:18,309 --> 01:06:21,543
that could take me to all of the
places that I always dreamed of going.
1145
01:06:21,675 --> 01:06:22,942
Then finally to Los Angeles,
1146
01:06:23,075 --> 01:06:25,775
where I posed on the cover
of your romance novel.
1147
01:06:25,909 --> 01:06:28,808
And I was so embarrassed that one
of my friends might've seen me
1148
01:06:28,942 --> 01:06:31,042
in that wig
on the cover of your book
1149
01:06:31,176 --> 01:06:33,875
that I avoided talking to them
for months.
1150
01:06:34,842 --> 01:06:36,342
And then one day,
1151
01:06:37,042 --> 01:06:38,875
I'm walking home,
1152
01:06:39,009 --> 01:06:41,775
and I hear this lady yell,
"Dash!"
1153
01:06:41,909 --> 01:06:44,376
She runs up,
and she is so happy.
1154
01:06:44,509 --> 01:06:48,242
Then I thought,
"How could I be this embarrassed
1155
01:06:48,376 --> 01:06:51,042
about something
that makes people this happy?"
1156
01:06:54,342 --> 01:06:56,009
Loretta, you can do
whatever you want.
1157
01:06:56,142 --> 01:06:58,209
If you don't want to write
anymore, don't write.
1158
01:06:58,342 --> 01:07:02,808
But don't minimize the people that
love your work by calling it schlock.
1159
01:07:02,942 --> 01:07:05,543
That's not fair to them.
1160
01:07:06,708 --> 01:07:09,609
You know what's ironic?
I thought you of all people would know
1161
01:07:09,742 --> 01:07:12,209
not to judge a book
by its cover.
1162
01:07:16,242 --> 01:07:18,842
Judge a book
by its cover model.
1163
01:07:50,276 --> 01:07:51,376
Alan?
1164
01:07:51,509 --> 01:07:52,808
Alan.
1165
01:08:04,775 --> 01:08:06,142
There's two of them.
1166
01:08:12,242 --> 01:08:14,975
- Loretta! I'm over here!
- Alan!
1167
01:08:16,009 --> 01:08:19,042
Alan! Motorcycles and guns,
motorcycles and guns!
1168
01:08:19,176 --> 01:08:21,309
Come on, this way!
1169
01:08:21,442 --> 01:08:23,075
Stop shooting!
1170
01:08:28,276 --> 01:08:30,209
- Just give 'em the parchment!
- I can't.
1171
01:08:30,342 --> 01:08:32,975
Yes, you can, actually.
You just say, "Here," and throw it at 'em.
1172
01:08:33,109 --> 01:08:35,376
Right. And then I'm sure
they'll happily let us go.
1173
01:08:35,509 --> 01:08:37,476
- Okay, keep down.
- How do they keep finding us?
1174
01:08:37,609 --> 01:08:40,075
- You're basically a walking disco ball.
- We need to come up with a plan.
1175
01:08:40,209 --> 01:08:41,242
I have an idea.
1176
01:08:41,376 --> 01:08:42,842
We're gonna dig a hole,
throw our voices.
1177
01:08:42,975 --> 01:08:44,875
"We're over here."
Can you sound like a bird?
1178
01:08:45,009 --> 01:08:47,276
- No, I have a plan.
- Alan, please, I'm thinking.
1179
01:08:47,409 --> 01:08:50,975
- I know, but I have a plan.
- Please, just let me think about...
1180
01:08:51,109 --> 01:08:54,742
- Wait a minute. They're shooting at you.
- Yeah, that's why we're hiding.
1181
01:08:54,875 --> 01:08:57,142
No. No, no, no.
They're shooting only at you.
1182
01:08:57,276 --> 01:08:59,742
They won't shoot me.
It's my brain that's valuable.
1183
01:08:59,875 --> 01:09:03,742
What? I don't think you actually
hear the things you say sometimes.
1184
01:09:03,875 --> 01:09:06,509
- Maybe I can shield you.
- You are not shielding me.
1185
01:09:06,643 --> 01:09:08,842
- I should be shielding you.
- Why? Because I'm a woman?
1186
01:09:08,975 --> 01:09:12,042
- That's supremely sexist.
- Well, look, I don't think using women as human shields
1187
01:09:12,176 --> 01:09:14,909
is exactly the change that Gloria
Seinfeld had in mind, do you?
1188
01:09:15,042 --> 01:09:17,808
- Gloria Steinem?
- Whatever. Her too. You know what? Fine.
1189
01:09:17,942 --> 01:09:21,009
- Please mansplain sexism to me right now.
- Oh, my God. I am a woman.
1190
01:09:21,142 --> 01:09:23,209
I can't mansplain anything.
1191
01:09:23,342 --> 01:09:28,009
Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a
woman can do anything a man can do.
1192
01:09:28,142 --> 01:09:30,576
- We just need to stay here until they get tired.
- I have an idea.
1193
01:09:30,708 --> 01:09:32,376
- Please can I tell you my plan?
- Alan!
1194
01:09:32,509 --> 01:09:35,808
This is not a situation you can get
out of by ripping your shirt off.
1195
01:09:35,942 --> 01:09:37,909
Not my shirt.
1196
01:10:09,276 --> 01:10:10,543
Three!
1197
01:10:10,675 --> 01:10:12,276
- Yes!
- Oh!
1198
01:10:16,376 --> 01:10:18,209
Oh.
1199
01:10:18,342 --> 01:10:21,543
That was different
than I had in my head.
1200
01:10:21,675 --> 01:10:25,742
- I just wanted us to stop them.
- Could it have been the wind that made it do that?
1201
01:10:25,875 --> 01:10:27,942
No, I think it was us.
I think... we did it.
1202
01:10:28,075 --> 01:10:30,442
We did the one guy, right?
But that was, like...
1203
01:10:30,576 --> 01:10:33,909
We just wanted him to stop. But I think
the other guy could've moved, really.
1204
01:10:34,042 --> 01:10:36,142
So, that was...
that one was on him.
1205
01:10:36,276 --> 01:10:39,109
Even if we weren't here,
that could've happened.
1206
01:10:39,242 --> 01:10:40,942
Why are you gonna stop
next to a cliff?
1207
01:10:41,075 --> 01:10:43,476
They were wearing helmets,
so maybe they're...
1208
01:10:43,609 --> 01:10:45,775
But the rest of their body
didn't have a helmet.
1209
01:10:45,909 --> 01:10:47,109
So there'd just be a head.
1210
01:10:47,242 --> 01:10:49,509
They were driving
recklessly, right?
1211
01:10:49,643 --> 01:10:51,376
Don't be mean on a bike.
1212
01:10:52,042 --> 01:10:53,808
Don't do mean stuff on a bike.
1213
01:10:57,609 --> 01:10:59,808
I mean,
perhaps they're fine.
1214
01:10:59,942 --> 01:11:02,309
Yeah, probably not.
But that's okay.
1215
01:11:02,442 --> 01:11:06,742
That's all right.
You know, things happen. Let's go.
1216
01:11:08,942 --> 01:11:12,142
- You gonna put it back together?
- It's on loan.
1217
01:11:24,942 --> 01:11:27,276
- Look at me.
- Okay.
1218
01:11:28,042 --> 01:11:30,142
What more can I do,
you know?
1219
01:11:30,276 --> 01:11:32,176
You've done so much already,
Beth.
1220
01:11:32,309 --> 01:11:35,309
My poor, sweet, little Nana
has lost her sight.
1221
01:11:35,442 --> 01:11:38,142
The book release
is a complete disaster,
1222
01:11:38,276 --> 01:11:39,909
which I've leveraged
everything on,
1223
01:11:40,042 --> 01:11:42,342
so I'm probably,
most definitely broke right now.
1224
01:11:42,476 --> 01:11:45,708
And most importantly,
I've lost a writer.
1225
01:11:45,842 --> 01:11:47,342
Who does that?
Who loses a writer?
1226
01:11:47,476 --> 01:11:51,909
Okay, Beth, you remind me
of my best friend, Randy.
1227
01:11:52,042 --> 01:11:54,543
Always looking out
for other people,
1228
01:11:54,675 --> 01:11:57,042
never taking care of herself.
1229
01:11:58,009 --> 01:11:59,476
Isn't that right, Randy?
1230
01:12:01,942 --> 01:12:03,775
She's like my therapist,
this one over here.
1231
01:12:03,908 --> 01:12:05,975
LOL. "Laughing Out Loud."
1232
01:12:06,109 --> 01:12:08,109
After you take care
of your friend,
1233
01:12:08,975 --> 01:12:10,276
how about we go to a beach?
1234
01:12:10,409 --> 01:12:12,875
- What?
- Look, I have a pickup in Hawaii.
1235
01:12:13,009 --> 01:12:14,942
She doesn't have to come.
1236
01:12:15,075 --> 01:12:17,842
Okay! Okay, you can come!
1237
01:12:17,975 --> 01:12:20,009
She's hilarious.
1238
01:12:20,775 --> 01:12:22,543
Let me ask you something.
1239
01:12:22,675 --> 01:12:24,808
We're all sitting here chitchatting,
but who's flying the plane?
1240
01:12:24,942 --> 01:12:26,875
- Autopilot.
- What?
1241
01:12:27,009 --> 01:12:29,708
Sir, go to the cockpit,
fly the plane.
1242
01:12:30,142 --> 01:12:31,176
Okay.
1243
01:12:31,909 --> 01:12:33,643
I'm going to
go land the plane.
1244
01:12:33,775 --> 01:12:35,176
Okay.
1245
01:12:35,309 --> 01:12:37,176
No, no, no. Take the goat.
Please, take the goat.
1246
01:12:37,309 --> 01:12:40,009
She's on break.
Enjoy the flight!
1247
01:13:15,342 --> 01:13:16,675
- Hi.
- Hola.
1248
01:13:21,109 --> 01:13:23,775
This English dude came in
and basically kidnapped her.
1249
01:13:25,909 --> 01:13:29,242
Hey, it's Beth. Please leave a message,
and I'll get right back to you.
1250
01:13:29,376 --> 01:13:32,242
Uh, hi, Beth.
1251
01:13:32,376 --> 01:13:33,342
It's me.
1252
01:13:33,476 --> 01:13:35,309
Uh, I'm alive!
1253
01:13:36,009 --> 01:13:38,075
Uh, listen, um...
1254
01:13:39,376 --> 01:13:40,409
Uh...
1255
01:13:41,842 --> 01:13:45,909
I'm sorry that I
blew up the book tour.
1256
01:13:46,042 --> 01:13:47,742
Um...
1257
01:13:47,875 --> 01:13:50,209
I was just afraid
1258
01:13:51,309 --> 01:13:52,942
and selfish. Uh...
1259
01:13:53,075 --> 01:13:55,775
Oh, here comes Alan.
I'll call you back.
1260
01:13:58,975 --> 01:14:01,975
So, uh, police
are searching for Fairfax,
1261
01:14:02,109 --> 01:14:04,543
and they're gonna provide us
protection while we're here.
1262
01:14:04,675 --> 01:14:06,442
Did they say
how long we'd be here?
1263
01:14:06,576 --> 01:14:09,209
They're gonna try to get us on a
puddle jumper later this evening.
1264
01:14:09,342 --> 01:14:11,509
But, uh, they said in the
meantime, the inn is really nice,
1265
01:14:11,643 --> 01:14:14,242
and we can get cleaned up
and maybe a change of clothes.
1266
01:14:14,376 --> 01:14:15,774
Okay.
1267
01:14:19,209 --> 01:14:20,775
Okay. Yeah.
1268
01:15:13,509 --> 01:15:14,975
Thank you.
1269
01:15:15,543 --> 01:15:18,742
Come on.
1270
01:15:18,875 --> 01:15:20,075
Dance with your husband.
1271
01:15:20,209 --> 01:15:21,975
- No, no, no.
- He's not my husband.
1272
01:15:22,109 --> 01:15:23,775
- It's okay.
- Dance with him.
1273
01:15:23,909 --> 01:15:26,376
No, no. She doesn't want to.
She doesn't have the right shoes.
1274
01:15:26,509 --> 01:15:29,009
Actually, it's the only thing
these shoes are right for.
1275
01:15:29,142 --> 01:15:31,376
You don't have to do this.
1276
01:15:31,509 --> 01:15:33,276
It's okay. It's okay.
1277
01:15:34,142 --> 01:15:35,176
Yeah?
1278
01:16:53,643 --> 01:16:55,309
I wonder
what she's saying.
1279
01:16:57,708 --> 01:16:59,276
It's folklore.
1280
01:17:00,609 --> 01:17:02,576
Love song about a woman
1281
01:17:02,708 --> 01:17:06,075
whose lover died,
and she didn't want to leave his side.
1282
01:17:06,975 --> 01:17:09,975
So she laid down
and refused to get up.
1283
01:17:10,543 --> 01:17:12,242
Must be scary.
1284
01:17:12,376 --> 01:17:16,309
Having to face your future without
the person that you planned it with.
1285
01:17:28,643 --> 01:17:30,209
What was that?
1286
01:17:32,309 --> 01:17:35,942
Excuse me. Excuse me. The, um...
the last line that you sang.
1287
01:17:36,075 --> 01:17:38,409
¿Quién llorará junto a mí?
1288
01:17:41,342 --> 01:17:44,142
"The island will weep for
me in the well of endless tears."
1289
01:17:44,276 --> 01:17:47,675
What is that, the well of endless tears?
Is that a real place, or...
1290
01:17:47,808 --> 01:17:49,342
Sinkhole place.
1291
01:17:51,142 --> 01:17:52,842
Thank you. Gracias, gracias.
1292
01:17:52,975 --> 01:17:55,075
- Come here, come here.
- What is it?
1293
01:17:56,675 --> 01:17:58,442
Hey, on the parchment,
it said,
1294
01:17:58,576 --> 01:18:02,643
"King Kalaman and his treasure laid
to rest in the well of endless tears."
1295
01:18:02,775 --> 01:18:04,909
I thought
maybe it was a metaphor.
1296
01:18:05,342 --> 01:18:06,909
It's not.
1297
01:18:07,042 --> 01:18:09,875
The Well of Endless Tears
is a place.
1298
01:18:10,009 --> 01:18:11,975
It's a sinkhole.
1299
01:18:12,109 --> 01:18:14,342
There's a sinkhole
on the map.
1300
01:18:15,675 --> 01:18:17,376
I think the tomb is there.
1301
01:18:17,509 --> 01:18:19,875
- This is so much better than your books.
- What?
1302
01:18:20,009 --> 01:18:21,442
There's like...
No, I don't mean any offense.
1303
01:18:21,576 --> 01:18:23,442
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- It's, like, equal.
1304
01:18:23,576 --> 01:18:25,775
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- Look at you. You want to go there.
1305
01:18:25,909 --> 01:18:27,708
- What? No.
- I can see. Yes, you do.
1306
01:18:27,842 --> 01:18:30,909
That would be insane. That would be insane.
I just... I just...
1307
01:18:31,042 --> 01:18:35,442
It's just that we're so close to
it, but, you know, we can't...
1308
01:18:35,576 --> 01:18:36,842
No.
1309
01:18:36,975 --> 01:18:39,675
This is your story.
How do you want to write it?
1310
01:18:40,442 --> 01:18:42,742
I'd like to know
that it's there,
1311
01:18:42,875 --> 01:18:44,508
that all this
meant something.
1312
01:18:44,643 --> 01:18:46,442
Okay. Then let's go.
1313
01:18:46,576 --> 01:18:48,442
We'll stay one more day.
As soon as the sun's up,
1314
01:18:48,576 --> 01:18:50,242
we're gonna go find
the Well of Endless Tears.
1315
01:18:50,376 --> 01:18:53,242
- But what if it's nothing?
- So what? Then we say we tried.
1316
01:18:53,376 --> 01:18:54,543
And Fairfax?
1317
01:18:54,675 --> 01:18:57,142
The cops are after Fairfax.
Don't worry about him.
1318
01:18:58,209 --> 01:18:58,975
This is crazy.
1319
01:18:59,109 --> 01:19:00,808
- Yeah, but look at you.
- What?
1320
01:19:00,942 --> 01:19:03,909
It's the very first time I've
ever seen you totally unafraid.
1321
01:19:04,509 --> 01:19:06,176
And alive.
1322
01:19:06,309 --> 01:19:08,808
I'm gonna go tell them our plans
have changed and find us a ride.
1323
01:19:08,942 --> 01:19:10,409
Where are you going?
1324
01:19:14,042 --> 01:19:16,075
I see you met
my friend here.
1325
01:19:16,209 --> 01:19:20,609
He told me you were just
about to jump on a plane,
1326
01:19:20,742 --> 01:19:23,142
without so much as
saying goodbye.
1327
01:19:23,276 --> 01:19:26,643
I said, "No way.
Not my Loretta.
1328
01:19:26,775 --> 01:19:31,276
Not when she's the only one
who can lead me to the tomb."
1329
01:19:34,675 --> 01:19:36,742
Stop squeezing so hard.
1330
01:19:37,576 --> 01:19:40,376
Ow. Get your hands off of me!
1331
01:19:41,209 --> 01:19:43,109
Ow! Let go!
1332
01:19:43,576 --> 01:19:44,742
I-I need a car.
1333
01:19:44,875 --> 01:19:46,808
A car, an auto.
Does anybody have an auto?
1334
01:19:55,276 --> 01:19:56,342
No, no. No.
1335
01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:58,342
I-I-I need an auto.
1336
01:19:58,476 --> 01:19:59,842
I'll trade you my watch.
1337
01:19:59,975 --> 01:20:01,276
It's a really expensive watch.
Do you have a car?
1338
01:20:01,409 --> 01:20:02,909
It's a Bulgari.
This thing glows in the dark.
1339
01:20:03,042 --> 01:20:04,842
- It's waterproof.
- I have motorcycle.
1340
01:20:18,442 --> 01:20:20,142
Cool, isn't it?
1341
01:20:20,276 --> 01:20:23,408
I always thought, why can't your
personal tank also have a minibar?
1342
01:20:23,543 --> 01:20:24,975
Have a drink.
1343
01:20:25,109 --> 01:20:26,643
Do you mind?
1344
01:20:26,775 --> 01:20:28,142
Uh, yes.
1345
01:20:28,276 --> 01:20:30,376
He has a bit of a grudge
against you, I'm afraid.
1346
01:20:30,509 --> 01:20:33,276
Something about a motorbike
accident his friends had?
1347
01:20:33,409 --> 01:20:34,576
Why are you doing this?
1348
01:20:34,708 --> 01:20:36,476
I want something
nobody else has.
1349
01:20:37,342 --> 01:20:39,209
When my father gifted...
1350
01:20:42,242 --> 01:20:43,742
As I was saying,
1351
01:20:43,875 --> 01:20:46,775
when my father gifted
his empire
1352
01:20:46,909 --> 01:20:49,376
to my baby brother...
1353
01:20:56,442 --> 01:20:57,975
Who is that?
1354
01:21:06,675 --> 01:21:08,875
Is that a Ken doll
on a moped?
1355
01:21:09,675 --> 01:21:11,142
I know him from somewhere.
1356
01:21:11,276 --> 01:21:12,909
Oh, I-I-I doubt that.
1357
01:21:13,042 --> 01:21:15,209
Because what
you are looking at
1358
01:21:15,342 --> 01:21:18,209
is a highly trained
combat specialist,
1359
01:21:18,342 --> 01:21:21,909
forged in the furnaces
of Afghanistan, Iraq,
1360
01:21:22,042 --> 01:21:24,609
Kuwait, Sa... Sarasota...
1361
01:21:24,742 --> 01:21:26,808
Incredible skin.
No eczema problems.
1362
01:21:26,942 --> 01:21:30,576
And he will not stop
until I am safe!
1363
01:21:30,708 --> 01:21:32,875
So you pull
this space tank over,
1364
01:21:33,009 --> 01:21:36,142
unless you would like to perish
like his friends did.
1365
01:21:36,276 --> 01:21:39,675
And he is responsible
for their perishment.
1366
01:21:39,808 --> 01:21:42,442
He might not have meant to,
1367
01:21:42,576 --> 01:21:45,875
but they... perished, so...
1368
01:22:00,775 --> 01:22:01,975
Okay, who-who is this?
1369
01:22:02,109 --> 01:22:04,042
I have seen him
somewhere before.
1370
01:22:06,509 --> 01:22:07,708
No, no, no.
1371
01:22:07,842 --> 01:22:09,509
That's your cover model,
isn't it?
1372
01:22:09,643 --> 01:22:11,975
Yes. I knew
I knew him from somewhere.
1373
01:22:12,842 --> 01:22:13,875
Get up there.
1374
01:22:14,009 --> 01:22:15,342
And kill him creatively.
1375
01:22:15,476 --> 01:22:17,576
I love watching hunks fail.
1376
01:22:19,842 --> 01:22:22,209
I guess I-I will
have that drink.
1377
01:22:23,875 --> 01:22:25,109
Oh, shit.
1378
01:22:25,242 --> 01:22:27,808
Is it okay
if I just top 'er off?
1379
01:22:27,942 --> 01:22:29,075
Yeah, that's fine, but...
1380
01:22:29,209 --> 01:22:31,142
Oh, my God,
have you used a glass before?
1381
01:22:31,276 --> 01:22:32,609
Sorry.
1382
01:22:32,742 --> 01:22:34,242
What would
Jack Trainer do?
1383
01:22:36,409 --> 01:22:37,442
It's hot in here.
1384
01:22:37,576 --> 01:22:40,576
Anyone else feeling
how hot it is?
1385
01:22:40,708 --> 01:22:41,742
Are you trying to be sexy?
1386
01:22:41,875 --> 01:22:43,643
This is very weird.
Please, stop.
1387
01:22:43,775 --> 01:22:45,675
I could set your world
on fire.
1388
01:22:56,176 --> 01:22:58,476
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
1389
01:22:58,609 --> 01:23:00,376
Go to sleep! Sleep!
1390
01:23:02,742 --> 01:23:04,576
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1391
01:23:04,708 --> 01:23:05,942
Time-out.
1392
01:23:06,075 --> 01:23:07,042
Time-in!
1393
01:23:12,842 --> 01:23:15,675
No! Don't shoot her!
I need her!
1394
01:23:17,309 --> 01:23:19,142
Oh, Jesus!
1395
01:23:19,276 --> 01:23:20,708
Ow, ow, ow.
1396
01:23:24,609 --> 01:23:27,075
Move your foot! Move your foot!
1397
01:23:30,109 --> 01:23:32,276
Go to sleep, asshole.
1398
01:23:32,409 --> 01:23:34,142
Get out there! Look!
1399
01:23:38,708 --> 01:23:39,975
A bigger guy?
1400
01:23:40,109 --> 01:23:41,342
Oh, no.
1401
01:23:42,675 --> 01:23:43,909
What?
1402
01:23:46,409 --> 01:23:47,276
Move it!
1403
01:23:49,042 --> 01:23:51,309
No, no, no. No, no, no.
1404
01:23:52,176 --> 01:23:54,109
Hey! Get in.
1405
01:23:54,543 --> 01:23:55,708
Him or me?
1406
01:23:59,775 --> 01:24:04,609
This is not one of your cheap,
vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta.
1407
01:24:04,742 --> 01:24:06,708
This is real life.
1408
01:24:07,643 --> 01:24:09,476
And we will kill him.
1409
01:24:09,609 --> 01:24:11,342
Tell us where the tomb is.
1410
01:24:25,975 --> 01:24:27,242
Hi.
So, whoever's in charge,
1411
01:24:27,376 --> 01:24:29,975
I need you to send
officials to go here.
1412
01:24:30,109 --> 01:24:31,242
Here.
1413
01:24:32,376 --> 01:24:34,142
We are closed.
1414
01:24:34,276 --> 01:24:35,675
You're closed?
1415
01:24:37,576 --> 01:24:40,708
You know I've been trying to
take a nap for a year and a half?
1416
01:24:40,842 --> 01:24:42,376
A year and a half.
1417
01:24:43,276 --> 01:24:46,376
I have been burning the candle
at both ends,
1418
01:24:46,509 --> 01:24:47,808
the midnight oil,
1419
01:24:47,942 --> 01:24:50,808
since way before
my friend got kidnapped.
1420
01:24:50,942 --> 01:24:52,808
And all I want to do
1421
01:24:53,342 --> 01:24:55,476
is kick my feet back
1422
01:24:55,609 --> 01:24:56,808
and drink some wine
1423
01:24:56,942 --> 01:24:59,376
that I'm probably
too tired to drink.
1424
01:24:59,509 --> 01:25:01,309
And I want a massage.
1425
01:25:01,442 --> 01:25:06,075
I want someone to massage
my shoulders and my feet,
1426
01:25:06,209 --> 01:25:08,209
and I want it at the same time.
1427
01:25:08,342 --> 01:25:12,042
And I don't care if logistically
that doesn't make sense.
1428
01:25:12,176 --> 01:25:14,842
Because I have worked hard.
1429
01:25:15,675 --> 01:25:18,176
The same way that
I know that you have.
1430
01:25:19,042 --> 01:25:21,209
So I hate to ask you
1431
01:25:21,342 --> 01:25:23,708
to leave this place open
a few more minutes,
1432
01:25:23,842 --> 01:25:25,708
because if we don't,
1433
01:25:25,842 --> 01:25:29,409
a very close friend of mine
and her cover model
1434
01:25:29,543 --> 01:25:31,309
are going to die.
1435
01:25:54,075 --> 01:25:55,609
No good way in, boss!
1436
01:25:55,742 --> 01:25:57,875
What about the caves?
1437
01:25:58,643 --> 01:26:00,009
That's too dangerous!
1438
01:26:00,142 --> 01:26:03,109
Well,
we'll be very careful then.
1439
01:26:16,675 --> 01:26:18,009
Well, come on!
1440
01:26:22,643 --> 01:26:24,442
- This way.
- I have a rule about
1441
01:26:24,576 --> 01:26:26,109
not going into
super creepy caves.
1442
01:26:37,442 --> 01:26:40,342
- Julian?
- His name is Julian?
1443
01:26:40,476 --> 01:26:43,376
He seems more like
a Buck or a Bruce.
1444
01:26:43,509 --> 01:26:45,009
Lead the way.
1445
01:26:48,675 --> 01:26:51,009
Go on. Don't be scared.
1446
01:27:20,742 --> 01:27:22,476
Watch your step there.
1447
01:27:22,609 --> 01:27:23,775
Bruce!
1448
01:27:23,909 --> 01:27:24,875
- Julian. Oh, no!
- Julian!
1449
01:27:25,009 --> 01:27:26,609
Whoa.
1450
01:27:26,742 --> 01:27:28,276
Whoa.
1451
01:27:28,842 --> 01:27:30,409
Well...
1452
01:27:31,209 --> 01:27:32,909
Let's not have
his death be in vain.
1453
01:27:33,042 --> 01:27:35,775
- Onward and upward.
- What do you mean onward?
1454
01:27:35,909 --> 01:27:38,342
We're not gonna go
and get him now, are we?
1455
01:27:38,476 --> 01:27:39,875
Oh, man.
1456
01:27:52,209 --> 01:27:53,842
- It's nothing.
- Okay.
1457
01:27:53,975 --> 01:27:56,643
Yeah. Look, let's just
go back to the boat.
1458
01:27:56,775 --> 01:27:58,609
This is over.
Nobody else has to die.
1459
01:27:58,742 --> 01:28:00,909
No, no, no. Ha-ha!
It's a breeze.
1460
01:28:01,042 --> 01:28:03,409
There's a tunnel.
This could lead to the tomb.
1461
01:28:03,543 --> 01:28:05,376
- That's not person-sized.
- Ah, speak for yourself.
1462
01:28:05,509 --> 01:28:07,742
Come on.
It's practically a kiddie slide.
1463
01:28:07,875 --> 01:28:10,176
- More like a rock sphincter.
- Or a troll anus.
1464
01:28:10,309 --> 01:28:12,675
All right, well, you are
going through the anus...
1465
01:28:12,808 --> 01:28:14,075
the hole... the tunnel!
1466
01:28:14,209 --> 01:28:16,176
- Why her?
- You are our canary in the coal mine.
1467
01:28:16,309 --> 01:28:17,742
No, that's impossible.
I can't.
1468
01:28:17,875 --> 01:28:19,276
Please let us know
if you get through.
1469
01:28:19,409 --> 01:28:21,708
If we don't hear from you,
Fabio's got to die.
1470
01:28:21,842 --> 01:28:24,042
Wait,
I'm the damsel in distress?
1471
01:28:24,609 --> 01:28:25,975
It's okay. I'm fine.
1472
01:29:01,909 --> 01:29:04,342
I can't.
I'm so sorry. I can't.
1473
01:29:04,476 --> 01:29:06,209
- Hey.
- What?
1474
01:29:06,909 --> 01:29:08,842
Hey, you smell that?
1475
01:29:08,975 --> 01:29:11,875
You mean centuries worth of bat feces?
Yes, I definitely smell that.
1476
01:29:12,009 --> 01:29:14,242
You gotta take
a big breath for me.
1477
01:29:19,342 --> 01:29:20,675
There you go.
1478
01:29:20,808 --> 01:29:22,708
You can do it, Loretta.
1479
01:29:35,643 --> 01:29:38,376
I think I see a way out.
1480
01:29:41,942 --> 01:29:44,176
Oh, cheese and rice!
1481
01:29:48,775 --> 01:29:50,109
I made it!
1482
01:29:50,242 --> 01:29:51,675
I made it!
1483
01:29:51,808 --> 01:29:54,342
See? Totally safe.
1484
01:29:55,309 --> 01:29:56,409
Go on. Your turn.
1485
01:29:58,075 --> 01:30:01,009
I'm coming through!
Be right there, okay?
1486
01:31:05,142 --> 01:31:07,309
Why would they
build this here?
1487
01:31:08,376 --> 01:31:10,075
But how is anyone
supposed to worship
1488
01:31:10,209 --> 01:31:11,875
or remember you
if they can't even see it?
1489
01:31:12,009 --> 01:31:13,842
They aren't.
1490
01:31:13,975 --> 01:31:16,942
This isn't a monument
to Kalaman's power.
1491
01:31:18,042 --> 01:31:20,576
It's a hiding place
for a grieving woman.
1492
01:31:20,708 --> 01:31:24,209
Taha came here
to be with her fallen lover.
1493
01:31:25,842 --> 01:31:27,276
She just wanted
to be alone.
1494
01:31:28,942 --> 01:31:30,476
Taha doesn't want us here.
1495
01:31:30,609 --> 01:31:31,909
God, shut up, Rafi.
1496
01:31:32,042 --> 01:31:33,909
It's just the volcano.
1497
01:31:35,576 --> 01:31:36,875
Come on.
1498
01:31:42,009 --> 01:31:43,675
We have to keep going.
1499
01:31:51,775 --> 01:31:53,442
All right.
Let's go, Muscles.
1500
01:31:54,142 --> 01:31:56,009
Open it up.
1501
01:31:56,142 --> 01:31:58,543
- Don't disturb them.
- She will be wearing the headdress.
1502
01:31:58,675 --> 01:32:01,309
Come on. We didn't come all this
way just to pay our respects.
1503
01:32:01,442 --> 01:32:03,109
I can't, um...
1504
01:32:05,842 --> 01:32:08,075
- Uh...
- I'm sorry, abuela.
1505
01:32:29,242 --> 01:32:30,543
What is that?
1506
01:32:32,742 --> 01:32:35,176
Are those... seashells?
1507
01:32:35,909 --> 01:32:38,742
The crown is made of seashells?
1508
01:32:38,875 --> 01:32:40,442
Where's the treasure?
1509
01:32:41,409 --> 01:32:42,875
She's holding him.
1510
01:32:45,675 --> 01:32:47,442
You mean the dead guy?
1511
01:32:53,875 --> 01:32:55,109
Look.
1512
01:32:57,075 --> 01:32:58,775
It's their courtship.
1513
01:32:58,909 --> 01:33:02,808
Kalaman is searching the island
for something.
1514
01:33:05,675 --> 01:33:07,209
Rare red seashells.
1515
01:33:07,342 --> 01:33:12,309
To prove his love,
he gave her one shell every day for a year
1516
01:33:12,442 --> 01:33:13,975
and made them into a crown,
1517
01:33:14,109 --> 01:33:16,842
bright red like
the flame of their love,
1518
01:33:16,975 --> 01:33:20,342
until the day came
where she accepted his proposal.
1519
01:33:20,476 --> 01:33:22,209
It was never about jewels.
1520
01:33:22,342 --> 01:33:26,109
Kalaman and Taha's riches
weren't material.
1521
01:33:28,009 --> 01:33:29,909
It was their love.
1522
01:33:30,042 --> 01:33:32,342
That's what it meant.
That was enough.
1523
01:33:32,476 --> 01:33:33,708
So that's it?
1524
01:33:34,609 --> 01:33:37,543
All of that time
and money
1525
01:33:38,342 --> 01:33:41,909
spent on, what,
just a cheap metaphor?
1526
01:33:42,042 --> 01:33:44,808
- It's a pretty rich metaphor.
- Oh, shut up!
1527
01:33:44,942 --> 01:33:46,909
We got to go. We got to go now.
1528
01:33:47,042 --> 01:33:50,142
- Come on. Let's go.
- No, no, no. You are staying here.
1529
01:33:50,276 --> 01:33:52,309
You think it's all
so sweet and poetic.
1530
01:33:52,442 --> 01:33:54,909
Well, then you can stay here
and spend your last moments
1531
01:33:55,042 --> 01:33:57,975
pondering the richness
of that metaphor.
1532
01:33:58,643 --> 01:34:00,909
- Get in.
- What? Come on, man.
1533
01:34:01,042 --> 01:34:03,442
- Oh, God. Just get in. Get in the tomb.
- Okay, okay.
1534
01:34:03,576 --> 01:34:06,176
It's better to be buried
alive than buried dead, I guess.
1535
01:34:06,309 --> 01:34:09,609
- It's really not.
- You know, it is a shame, really.
1536
01:34:09,742 --> 01:34:11,209
This is a hell of a story.
1537
01:34:11,342 --> 01:34:14,009
Pity you won't be around
to tell it. Come on.
1538
01:34:14,142 --> 01:34:15,675
- But they'll die.
- So will you
1539
01:34:15,808 --> 01:34:18,442
if you don't stop being such a snowflake!
Get over here!
1540
01:34:27,975 --> 01:34:29,975
This is fine.
This is not an active nightmare
1541
01:34:30,109 --> 01:34:31,775
I've had since
I was 14 years old.
1542
01:34:33,543 --> 01:34:34,975
Ow!
1543
01:34:35,109 --> 01:34:38,842
Why are you going so fast?
It's not a race.
1544
01:34:43,842 --> 01:34:46,142
Wait, no! What are you doing?
Come back here!
1545
01:34:46,276 --> 01:34:50,942
You may have bought the island,
but now the island owns you!
1546
01:34:51,742 --> 01:34:53,276
You can't just
leave me here!
1547
01:34:55,276 --> 01:34:57,675
Rafi! Come back!
1548
01:34:59,909 --> 01:35:01,276
I need a boat!
1549
01:35:10,675 --> 01:35:12,808
Hey, hey, stop! Stop!
1550
01:35:14,842 --> 01:35:16,609
Help! Help!
1551
01:35:16,742 --> 01:35:18,842
One of the locals
just stole my boat!
1552
01:35:18,975 --> 01:35:20,675
Have you seen a woman?
1553
01:35:20,808 --> 01:35:23,909
She's a brunette
in a sequined jumpsuit.
1554
01:35:24,042 --> 01:35:28,075
No. Is she in some sort
of trouble?
1555
01:35:39,708 --> 01:35:41,442
It's kind of funny.
1556
01:35:42,842 --> 01:35:44,643
I used to think this...
1557
01:35:44,775 --> 01:35:46,643
this sort of thing
was so romantic.
1558
01:35:46,775 --> 01:35:48,109
Yeah?
1559
01:35:48,242 --> 01:35:51,509
Being locked in a coffin
about to be buried by lava,
1560
01:35:51,643 --> 01:35:54,242
or... cuddling dead people?
1561
01:35:55,009 --> 01:35:58,042
Just laying down
with a lost love.
1562
01:35:58,176 --> 01:35:59,442
Like Taha did.
1563
01:36:01,942 --> 01:36:03,176
- God.
- Oh...
1564
01:36:03,742 --> 01:36:05,075
Oh, God.
1565
01:36:05,209 --> 01:36:07,376
I'm sorry.
1566
01:36:07,509 --> 01:36:09,942
I'm sorry that
I couldn't save you.
1567
01:36:10,075 --> 01:36:12,075
I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash.
1568
01:36:12,576 --> 01:36:13,909
You're right.
1569
01:36:14,942 --> 01:36:16,476
You're nothing like Dash.
1570
01:36:16,609 --> 01:36:19,609
You didn't ride in on a
white horse to save me.
1571
01:36:19,742 --> 01:36:25,109
You rode in on a...
borrowed scooter with a broken muffler.
1572
01:36:26,543 --> 01:36:27,909
Yeah.
1573
01:36:28,042 --> 01:36:30,942
I never could've written
a Dash like you.
1574
01:36:32,842 --> 01:36:34,775
'Cause I never knew
1575
01:36:35,476 --> 01:36:37,209
a Dash like Alan.
1576
01:36:37,342 --> 01:36:39,775
I was so afraid
of being hurt by life again
1577
01:36:39,909 --> 01:36:41,242
that I just stopped living.
1578
01:36:41,376 --> 01:36:43,342
Couldn't see the good things
in front of me.
1579
01:36:43,476 --> 01:36:47,042
I'm just so sorry
I didn't see you sooner.
1580
01:36:47,975 --> 01:36:49,576
I have a confession too.
1581
01:36:49,708 --> 01:36:53,576
See, I was really liking where
this new story of ours was headed.
1582
01:36:53,708 --> 01:36:56,975
I just wanted to see how
it was gonna turn out, I guess.
1583
01:36:58,242 --> 01:37:00,808
The Adventures
of Loretta and Alan.
1584
01:37:02,909 --> 01:37:04,808
No, it would need
a better title than that.
1585
01:37:04,942 --> 01:37:06,942
Yeah, definitely.
Definitely.
1586
01:37:08,042 --> 01:37:11,842
Sorry. Just...
Taha's femur is poking me.
1587
01:37:15,543 --> 01:37:17,242
Rafi must have
left that.
1588
01:37:17,376 --> 01:37:19,909
How do you forget your crowbar?
It's gonna help us escape.
1589
01:37:20,042 --> 01:37:21,643
No, he left it
on purpose.
1590
01:37:21,775 --> 01:37:23,442
Oh, cool. I always liked him.
1591
01:37:23,576 --> 01:37:24,942
- One...
- Okay.
1592
01:37:25,075 --> 01:37:26,842
- ...two, three!
- Okay.
1593
01:37:26,975 --> 01:37:30,975
I would've preferred him to not leave
us here in the first place, but...
1594
01:37:31,643 --> 01:37:32,442
Okay.
1595
01:37:53,442 --> 01:37:55,675
Dulcius ex asperis.
1596
01:38:00,075 --> 01:38:01,909
Sweeter after difficulty.
1597
01:38:08,543 --> 01:38:10,009
Go up!
Run for the trees!
1598
01:38:11,176 --> 01:38:14,109
Wait. Nope. Never mind.
Trees are on fire.
1599
01:38:14,543 --> 01:38:16,242
Okay.
1600
01:38:17,808 --> 01:38:19,675
We can go back
through the tunnel.
1601
01:38:20,643 --> 01:38:21,942
Nope. Tunnel's a no-go.
1602
01:38:27,042 --> 01:38:28,975
Um, okay.
I'm open to other ideas.
1603
01:38:29,109 --> 01:38:32,609
There's a current.
We can follow it into the ocean.
1604
01:38:32,742 --> 01:38:34,409
How do we know
what's on the other side?
1605
01:38:34,875 --> 01:38:36,009
We don't.
1606
01:38:37,808 --> 01:38:39,975
There's only one way
to find out.
1607
01:38:41,476 --> 01:38:43,176
- Worth the rash.
- Yeah?
1608
01:39:04,075 --> 01:39:05,109
Alan?
1609
01:39:13,543 --> 01:39:14,775
Alan!
1610
01:39:52,176 --> 01:39:53,109
Alan?
1611
01:39:53,242 --> 01:39:55,975
A... Alan?
1612
01:39:57,176 --> 01:39:58,209
Alan!
1613
01:40:01,442 --> 01:40:03,142
Oh, my God! You're alive!
1614
01:40:03,276 --> 01:40:05,509
- I'm alive.
- Oh, my God. I thought I killed you.
1615
01:40:08,509 --> 01:40:09,442
Is that Beth?
1616
01:40:09,576 --> 01:40:10,808
Loretta!
1617
01:40:11,442 --> 01:40:12,576
Beth!
1618
01:40:12,708 --> 01:40:14,342
- Beth!
- Beth!
1619
01:40:14,476 --> 01:40:15,708
Beth!
1620
01:40:21,342 --> 01:40:22,742
Beth, you're here!
1621
01:40:23,376 --> 01:40:24,543
Why are you here?
1622
01:40:24,675 --> 01:40:27,509
I told you I got your back,
girl!
1623
01:40:28,009 --> 01:40:29,875
I'm so sorry!
1624
01:40:30,009 --> 01:40:32,142
I destroyed
the jumpsuit!
1625
01:40:32,576 --> 01:40:33,543
What?
1626
01:40:33,675 --> 01:40:36,142
Never mind! Later.
1627
01:40:36,276 --> 01:40:38,242
I found a British guy
in a cave.
1628
01:40:38,376 --> 01:40:40,842
I thought he was a little boy,
but he has a full beard.
1629
01:40:40,975 --> 01:40:44,209
Beth, that's Fairfax!
He kidnapped us!
1630
01:40:44,342 --> 01:40:47,075
He's a bad guy, Beth!
He killed my trainer!
1631
01:40:47,209 --> 01:40:48,242
Get him!
1632
01:40:48,708 --> 01:40:49,909
Stop him!
1633
01:40:57,742 --> 01:40:59,975
I got your back, girl.
1634
01:41:02,075 --> 01:41:04,042
Where were you running?
It's a boat.
1635
01:41:04,176 --> 01:41:05,675
This guy's hilarious.
1636
01:41:05,808 --> 01:41:07,476
Got you.
1637
01:41:07,609 --> 01:41:08,875
Swim over to the rock!
1638
01:41:09,009 --> 01:41:11,042
- I don't got you. No, I got you.
- I got you.
1639
01:41:11,176 --> 01:41:13,042
We're gonna get you.
It's gonna be okay.
1640
01:41:13,176 --> 01:41:15,742
"Finding refuge
on a nearby rock,
1641
01:41:15,875 --> 01:41:17,942
he lifted her from the water,
1642
01:41:18,075 --> 01:41:21,209
his powerful arms
pulling her body close.
1643
01:41:21,342 --> 01:41:22,476
Alan whispered..."
1644
01:41:22,609 --> 01:41:25,176
Shh. You're safe now.
1645
01:41:27,509 --> 01:41:32,242
"In that moment, Loretta could
feel a new adventure was just beginning."
1646
01:41:33,442 --> 01:41:36,142
"The heart-pounding passion
of the narrow escape
1647
01:41:36,276 --> 01:41:39,142
only inflamed Loretta's
desire for him.
1648
01:41:39,276 --> 01:41:43,476
She was thirsty for the hot lava
soon to be pulsing from his..."
1649
01:41:43,609 --> 01:41:47,176
Don't you go stopping
right at the good part.
1650
01:41:48,476 --> 01:41:50,309
It's nothing she hasn't
read before.
1651
01:41:50,442 --> 01:41:51,775
Didn't I tell you?
1652
01:41:51,909 --> 01:41:54,842
The most beautiful beach
in the world.
1653
01:41:54,975 --> 01:41:58,276
Maybe later, I'll show you
the Cove of Enchantment?
1654
01:41:58,409 --> 01:42:00,042
No, you can take Randy.
1655
01:42:00,176 --> 01:42:03,742
Remember, you are
my platonic man friend.
1656
01:42:03,875 --> 01:42:06,875
Platonic?
I like the sound of that.
1657
01:42:07,009 --> 01:42:09,675
Not sure what it means,
but I like the sound of it.
1658
01:42:09,808 --> 01:42:12,042
Here you go, Randy.
1659
01:42:13,742 --> 01:42:16,109
- My dear.
- You are an angel. Thank you.
1660
01:42:16,675 --> 01:42:18,176
How did you know?
1661
01:42:30,042 --> 01:42:32,842
- Nice way to end a book tour, right?
- Mm-hmm.
1662
01:42:33,409 --> 01:42:35,142
Um...
1663
01:42:35,276 --> 01:42:39,576
You know, I have a phrase I like to
use in moments like these, actually.
1664
01:42:39,708 --> 01:42:40,942
Um...
1665
01:42:42,442 --> 01:42:43,842
Quid deinde?
1666
01:42:44,975 --> 01:42:48,109
It's Latin.
It means, uh, "What's next?"
1667
01:42:49,975 --> 01:42:51,476
Quid cogitas?
1668
01:42:51,609 --> 01:42:53,009
Mmm.
1669
01:42:53,708 --> 01:42:54,842
Buca di Beppo.
1670
01:42:58,276 --> 01:42:59,975
- Yeah. I know zero other Latin.
- No. Yes.
1671
01:43:00,109 --> 01:43:03,009
I looked it up
for this moment right now.
1672
01:43:03,808 --> 01:43:05,909
So, what does come next?
1673
01:43:06,042 --> 01:43:08,476
- How would you write this?
- I don't know.
1674
01:43:08,609 --> 01:43:11,176
- How would you write it?
- Do we really want me to write this?
1675
01:43:11,309 --> 01:43:13,643
- Just try. Take a stab at it.
- Okay. I'll write it.
1676
01:43:13,775 --> 01:43:15,075
Okay.
1677
01:43:15,209 --> 01:43:18,176
"We were... They were, uh...
standing on a beach."
1678
01:43:18,309 --> 01:43:20,209
Sets the stage for the audience.
They know where we are.
1679
01:43:20,342 --> 01:43:22,109
You're already laughing.
Why are you laughing at me?
1680
01:43:22,242 --> 01:43:24,009
- I'm not laughing. I'm smiling.
- You are.
1681
01:43:24,142 --> 01:43:28,176
"There are palm trees
above a brown
1682
01:43:28,975 --> 01:43:31,609
bark-like hair
of the maiden.
1683
01:43:31,742 --> 01:43:33,543
There is a dead jellyfish..."
1684
01:43:33,675 --> 01:43:36,142
All you're doing is describing what
you're actually seeing right now.
1685
01:43:36,276 --> 01:43:39,109
"He's nervous
because he really likes her."
1686
01:43:39,942 --> 01:43:41,975
It's nice writing.
1687
01:43:42,109 --> 01:43:43,409
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1688
01:43:43,543 --> 01:43:44,609
I'll keep going.
1689
01:43:44,742 --> 01:43:46,276
"He looked deep in her eyes.
1690
01:43:46,409 --> 01:43:49,808
The only thing that could compare
to the pulse of that ocean
1691
01:43:50,543 --> 01:43:51,643
was the throbbing in the..."
1692
01:43:51,775 --> 01:43:54,842
- Okay, no, you can't throb.
- Why not?
1693
01:43:54,975 --> 01:43:56,643
Can't come out of the
gate with a throb.
1694
01:43:56,775 --> 01:43:59,042
- You throb all the time.
- I don't come out of the gate with it.
1695
01:43:59,176 --> 01:44:01,109
- You have to earn the throb.
- Who made you the queen of throb?
1696
01:44:01,242 --> 01:44:04,842
It's usually a chapter four thing. You
want it brought up appropriately in four.
1697
01:44:04,975 --> 01:44:07,075
I think you throb in all the chapters.
"Pulsating."
1698
01:44:07,209 --> 01:44:09,142
It's a precursor to throb.
1699
01:44:09,276 --> 01:44:11,309
- "Undulating."
- You just jumped to five.
1700
01:44:11,442 --> 01:44:14,309
- How 'bout they just kiss? Why not?
- Just like a regular kiss?
1701
01:44:14,442 --> 01:44:16,276
Yeah. Like a
beginning-of-the-chapter kiss.
1702
01:44:16,409 --> 01:44:18,042
I'm good at starting...
1703
01:44:21,875 --> 01:44:23,376
How was that? Any notes?
1704
01:44:24,109 --> 01:44:27,509
Very good
first chapter attempt.
1705
01:45:52,643 --> 01:45:54,142
Psst!
1706
01:45:54,775 --> 01:45:56,276
Psst.
1707
01:45:57,209 --> 01:45:58,242
Psst.
1708
01:46:00,309 --> 01:46:01,242
Mother...
1709
01:46:01,376 --> 01:46:03,009
You were dead.
1710
01:46:03,142 --> 01:46:06,009
Your brains came out of your face
and hit the back of my throat.
1711
01:46:06,142 --> 01:46:08,643
- He was in my mouth.
- Don't say he was in your mouth.
1712
01:46:08,775 --> 01:46:10,376
- I could taste you.
- Don't ever say that.
1713
01:46:10,509 --> 01:46:15,675
We only use 10% of our brain,
so I just switched to another 10%.
1714
01:46:15,808 --> 01:46:18,609
So, you're okay?
1715
01:46:18,742 --> 01:46:20,442
One hundred percent.
1716
01:46:20,576 --> 01:46:22,042
Meaning 10%.
1717
01:46:22,176 --> 01:46:23,842
We thought you were dead.
1718
01:46:23,975 --> 01:46:26,675
Naturally, I have some anger
issues I need to let go of.
1719
01:46:26,808 --> 01:46:29,209
- Of course.
- And resentment.
1720
01:46:31,075 --> 01:46:32,376
So good to see you, man.
1721
01:46:32,509 --> 01:46:34,543
Okay,
let's keep the chatter down.
1722
01:46:34,675 --> 01:46:39,109
We're closing our eyes
and reconnecting to our breath.
1723
01:46:40,142 --> 01:46:41,276
Great.
1724
01:46:42,075 --> 01:46:43,109
Great.
1725
01:46:49,835 --> 01:46:54,835
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull