1
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,684
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
(WOMAN LAUGHS)
2
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,185
(UTENSIL TAPPING ON GLASS)
3
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,521
Hi. Sorry to interrupt.
4
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:48,691
I just wanted really quickly
to say thank you so much for coming
5
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,569
and for sharing
such a perfect evening with us.
6
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,779
It's been so perfect
7
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:56,991
that I think the only day
that could possibly rival it
8
00:00:57,015 --> 00:01:01,370
is the one that resulted in all of us
being here in the first place.
9
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:04,689
And that night was exactly
three years ago today.
10
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:09,879
And it was on that night that I knew I had
met someone really, really special.
11
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,213
(GUESTS) Aw.
12
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,299
It was the night when we first met.
13
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:16,951
(DANCE INTRO)
14
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,725
MAN: ♪ I'm sexy and I know it ♪
(CHATTERING)
15
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,501
(SONG CONTINUES)
16
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,798
♪ I'm sexy and I know it ♪
17
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,318
(SONG CONTINUES)
18
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,278
Excuse me.
19
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:36,763
Whoa, Black Elvis. It's a good song.
20
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:40,892
Oh. Cool. Going to Coachella?
21
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,979
Excuse me. Coming through.
What is she dressed as?
22
00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:47,500
Whoo-hoo!
Hey, watch it, buddy!
23
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,877
Whoo! Hulk smash!
(PEOPLE GASPING)
24
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:52,546
Are you okay?
Oh, my God. I think so.
25
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,364
You are A League of Their Own, right?
26
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,510
Yeah.
I love that movie.
27
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,720
Okay. What character am I?
28
00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:02,473
I'm getting, like,
a Tom Hanks vibe from you.
29
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,641
(LAUGHS)
30
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,416
No?
No. I'm Dottie Hinson.
31
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,394
I'm Geena Davis's character.
32
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:10,356
Okay, that makes more sense.
Are you my lesbian cousin Shannon?
33
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,567
Yes. I was gonna ask if you wanted
to join my softball team.
34
00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,569
I have a second guess.
Who?
35
00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:17,113
Are you Garth?
Excellent!
36
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,366
You know, the key to doing
a good Garth impression
37
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,369
is to make your mouth
into a tiny little butthole.
38
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,061
(LAUGHS) That was good.
39
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,749
Noah.
I'm Avery.
40
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,567
It's nice to meet you. (CHUCKLES)
41
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:34,421
So, what is your favorite drink?
42
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:38,342
Grapefruit juice with vodka
and three maraschino cherries.
43
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,553
Okay. Where are you from?
44
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,472
All over the place. Kind of an army brat.
45
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:46,267
I don't really like that term,
but that's what they call it.
46
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:49,794
Well, I was a regular brat,
and I still don't like that term.
47
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:53,232
NOAH: Let's see it.
48
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,901
Okay, so, it's a work in progress.
49
00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:58,052
Okay. All right.
It's not totally done.
50
00:02:58,887 --> 00:02:59,971
Ta-da!
51
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,558
Oh, it's good!
You hate it.
52
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,370
It looks drunk, admittedly.
53
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:09,206
You're quite the artist.
Thank you.
54
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,708
See what's going on over there
55
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:13,610
between Sexy Grumpy Cat
and the hipster Where's Waldo?
56
00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:16,654
Look, they're gonna fall in...
57
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:21,302
Oh-ho! Now watch.
Everyone's gonna jump in.
58
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,161
Let's party! Whoo!
59
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:25,997
Whoo!
60
00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:31,687
Maybe not.
Wow. Now they're making out in the pool.
61
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:34,023
That's kind of tacky.
Wait. I think I know that guy.
62
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,818
His name is Patric with no “K.”
63
00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:40,154
That's a bad name.
We went on one date.
64
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:43,449
He literally spent the entire time
teaching me about sea turtles.
65
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,701
Well, at least you know someone here.
66
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,037
I just came with my roommate, Carrie.
67
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:51,439
And there she is,
making out with Jell-O Shot Doctor.
68
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,211
Hey, do you wanna get out of here?
69
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,861
Yeah.
Yeah?
70
00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:00,216
Do you like jazz?
Do I like breathing?
71
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:05,095
(COMBO PLAYING JAZZ)
72
00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:08,122
(JAZZ CONTINUES)
73
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,602
God, this place is so awesome.
74
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,103
How'd you find out about it?
75
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:16,214
Well, I kinda know a guy that works here.
76
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,027
Ooh!
It's me.
77
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:21,237
I'm that guy.
Yeah.
78
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,572
Did you get that?
I got that, yeah. Yeah.
79
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,181
Actually, I am the piano man...
80
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:27,868
who's got magic hands.
81
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,310
Oh, my God!
82
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,164
So, is there anything you'd like to hear?
Mmm.
83
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,458
Do you know any Count Basie?
84
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,710
Whoa! You are a jazz fan.
85
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,671
I am, mm-hmm.
Wow. I love Count Basie.
86
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,422
I'm more of an Oscar Peterson fan.
Okay.
87
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:42,925
His friends call him “OP” for short.
Do you know him?
88
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,843
No.
He's dead, so you can't know him.
89
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,179
Well, I appreciate a guy
who knows his music history.
90
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:51,666
In that case, sit back and relax
and enjoy this Count Basie classic.
91
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,376
Okay.
92
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:59,858
♪ Well ♪
93
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,652
♪ You know you make me wanna shout ♪
94
00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:04,530
♪ Kick my heels up and shout
Throw my hands up and shout ♪
95
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,365
This is not Count Basie!
96
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:09,392
♪ Now don't forget to say you will ♪
97
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:13,330
♪ Don't forget to say
Yeah-yeah ♪
98
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:16,899
♪ Say you will
Say it right now, baby ♪
99
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,420
♪ Come on, come on ♪
100
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:20,921
♪ Say you will ♪
101
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,214
♪ Say it right now ♪
102
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,800
♪ Oooh-ooh ♪
103
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,427
♪ Say that you love me ♪
♪ Say ♪
104
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:27,594
♪ Say that you need me ♪
105
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,347
♪ Say that you want me
You wanna please me ♪
106
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:32,099
♪ Say ♪
♪ Come on now ♪
107
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,517
♪ Say ♪
♪ Come on now ♪
108
00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:36,603
♪ Say, say ♪
♪ Come on now, come on now ♪
109
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:39,732
Uh-oh! Piano solo!
You said piano solo, didn't you?
110
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,650
Oh, my God! New mission!
What's up?
111
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,320
Okay, okay. Hey, do not forget
to tip your piano man!
112
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:46,822
This is gonna be great.
113
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,282
All right.
(AVERY CHUCKLES)
114
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,826
These things are so much fun.
115
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,560
Ready? Okay.
Yep.
116
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,123
No boring high school yearbook poses.
What do you mean?
117
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:59,043
The whole point is to do
something different in every photo.
118
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,002
I'm smiling.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
119
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,713
I know this might come as a shock to you,
120
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,507
but I've never actually taken
a photo booth photo.
121
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,217
What?
Yep. I'm a virgin.
122
00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:10,304
So be gentle with me, please.
123
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,621
Virgin, huh?
Mm-hmm.
124
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,915
Well, not anymore.
125
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,043
Come on. This is the best part.
126
00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:20,755
So we just stand out here and wait?
Shh. Listen.
127
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,567
(WHIRRING, CLICKING)
128
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:26,070
There's real film developing in there.
129
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,696
It's the sound of history.
130
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,431
(WHIRRING, CLICKING CONTINUE)
131
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:37,873
(LAUGHS)
How we lookin'?
132
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,584
Well, your technique
could definitely use some work.
133
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:41,943
But you're cute.
134
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,213
Hmm?
Come on. Let's do it again.
135
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,738
Yeah, okay.
136
00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:48,825
So, this is it.
137
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,495
Wow.
Yeah.
138
00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:55,682
Your place is... is incredible.
139
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,625
Honestly.
Thanks.
140
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:01,438
Really? You've got one?
141
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:03,131
Yeah. Why? Do you play?
142
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,068
Oh, do I play?
143
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,696
Oh, you are so dead. I am a master.
144
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,014
Really? You're a master. Okay.
I am. Ready?
145
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,702
No! Don't spin it!
Is that a rule? I've never heard that.
146
00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:17,413
Yeah, that is a rule.
147
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,523
Aah!
Ohh! Laser!
148
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:22,859
(SCREAMS)
149
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,695
One step closer.
150
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,008
(SHOUTING)
(AVERY LAUGHS)
151
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:32,678
That's what you get for cheating. I win.
152
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,680
Whoo! Crowd goes wild!
153
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:38,183
Mmm. I haven't had Cookie Crisp
in, like, ten years.
154
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:40,543
Oh. Best late-night food ever.
155
00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:42,563
It's the best.
Mm-hmm.
156
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,190
So then I got the job at the piano bar,
157
00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:48,652
and the first night playing
was just amazing.
158
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,654
So I dropped out of business school
the next day.
159
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:54,450
You know what they say. Do what you love,
you'll never work a day in your life.
160
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,268
Yeah, super-super-poor people say that.
161
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,247
Can I get you another refresher?
Yeah.
162
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:03,191
Oh. She's gulping it down.
A little bit more. Thank you.
163
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,920
Who's this? Is this your grandma?
164
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:09,882
Oh, no, that's actually Dorothy.
165
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,950
She lives at the retirement home
I did a fund-raiser for.
166
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,888
I organize benefits for charities.
167
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:19,224
So, like kids, the elderly, animals.
168
00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:20,726
You name it, I do it.
169
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,043
Who are you?
170
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,357
♪ You know, you know, you know ♪
171
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:29,550
♪ That you do ♪
172
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,529
AVERY: And that was it.
173
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:35,282
That was the moment
I knew that it was love.
174
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,201
(GUESTS MURMURING, CHATTERING)
175
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,660
MAN: To Ethan and Avery!
176
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:39,894
(GUESTS) Cheers!
177
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:43,898
(APPLAUSE)
178
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,067
Yeah. I'll take one. Thank you.
179
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,297
Mmm.
180
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,697
I'm gonna need two.
181
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,200
Ah.
182
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,744
Oh, a little boost.
(CORK POPS)
183
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:11,092
(NOAH GASPING) Excuse me.
184
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,445
(NOAH RETCHING)
185
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,655
I'm gonna go.
Yeah.
186
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,180
Thank you. I'll be right back.
187
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:19,076
(NOAH GROANING) It burns!
188
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,644
(VOMITING)
Hey, Noah!
189
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:26,041
Noah?
(WHEEZES) Hey.
190
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,669
Hey, you okay in there?
(WHEEZES) Not so good.
191
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:31,922
My Aunt Cindy said you puked on her
a little bit as you walked by.
192
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,715
She puked on me first.
193
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:36,134
(VOMITING)
Okay, I'm coming in.
194
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:38,345
Okay?
Oh, I wish you wouldn't.
195
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,079
I'm coming in.
(GROANING)
196
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:41,872
Hey.
197
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,125
How are you?
198
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,646
You dying in here?
I'm...
199
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,481
I'm... so good.
200
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,233
You hit the open bar too hard.
201
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,883
You think this is about...
202
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,028
drinking?
203
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:57,263
This was about...
204
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,575
food poisoning.
205
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,600
Taquitos.
206
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,454
Or the seven-layer dip.
207
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,814
Why so many layers? You don't need seven.
(KNOCKING)
208
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:10,043
Ethan.
Noah. How you feeling, buddy?
209
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:13,255
Oh, so good. I'm so glad he's here now.
210
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,674
Got you a Vitaminwater, some saltines.
211
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:19,428
I got Pepto chewables in the glove box.
Let's get this stuff in your system.
212
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,638
Mmm, yeah. Thank you.
213
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:22,681
You are a peach.
214
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,309
Oh. What are these, crackers?
215
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,269
Mm-mm-mmm. Mmm!
216
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,854
Feel better already.
Awesome.
217
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,939
Let me know if you need anything else.
218
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,567
Baby, by the way, that speech?
Yeah?
219
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,818
It was beautiful.
Thank you.
220
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:37,029
Everybody in the room was so moved.
I was so nervous.
221
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,406
I love you so much.
I love you.
222
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,223
(NOAH CLEARS THROAT)
(CRUNCHING)
223
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,245
(CHUCKLES)
224
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:48,624
Also, my parents want to team up for
that Skype call whenever we have a chance.
225
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,834
So, um, just meet me at the laptop?
226
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:52,628
Yes. I'll be right there.
Okay.
227
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,713
Feel better. Okay?
Mm-hmm.
228
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,423
Keep your head up.
229
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:57,490
Okay.
230
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,969
You wanna go
maybe walk around a little bit?
231
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,805
Just really slowly. Careful, careful.
I'm fine.
232
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,807
Okay. Okay.
These aren't good.
233
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,517
Candid.
(SHUTTER CLICKS)
234
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,102
That's a candid.
235
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:10,836
Candid.
(SHUTTER CLICKS)
236
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,982
Hey, Carrie.
Hey, hon.
237
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:16,193
Noah. Haven't seen you in forever.
238
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,653
Hey, Carrie.
I've got a shoot tomorrow morning.
239
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:20,947
So I was wondering,
cool if I can leave a little early?
240
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:24,951
Maybe you can take Noah home.
He's a little... He shouldn't be driving.
241
00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,977
I'm fine.
Candid.
242
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,707
You don't look fine. You look like shit.
243
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:33,794
You know, uh, honestly,
I-I'll take an Uber.
244
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,420
Cool.
ETHAN: Hey, Avery!
245
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,297
Oh. Yeah. One second.
246
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:39,299
Um, really? Are you sure?
(NOAH SIGHS)
247
00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:41,259
Yeah. I-I'm actually not...
248
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:43,595
Feel better, okay? Thank you. Bye, Carrie.
249
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:44,912
Bye.
Bye.
250
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:51,377
Ooh. That had my Uber on it.
251
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,522
You really are a mess.
252
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,548
BURPS: All right, fine. Let's go.
253
00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:01,053
Oh, they're so beautiful. (SIGHS)
254
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,783
(KISSES)
CARRIE: Let's go, train wreck.
255
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,100
Mm-hmm.
256
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:10,163
(NOAH GROANING)
You stole an Avery-Ethan plate? You dork.
257
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:13,041
Candid!
You delete that. Okay?
258
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,001
Don't want any evidence
that this ever happened.
259
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:17,295
Nope. Sorry.
260
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:20,507
I photograph weddings for a living.
Capturing misery and regret is what I do.
261
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:23,051
Perfect.
What is your deal tonight anyway?
262
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:26,471
It's kind of a long story,
so I'd rather not get into it.
263
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:27,496
Yeah, okay. Cool.
264
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,749
Oh, you don't want to hear it?
265
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,170
Yeah, 'cause I don't want to tell you.
Okay.
266
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,067
(EXHALES)
267
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:42,094
(GROANING)
268
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,870
Fine. I'll tell you.
269
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,329
All right?
270
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:53,731
Frickin' drag it out of me, why don't you?
271
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:57,318
It has to do with the fact that I'm...
272
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:01,006
in love with Avery.
273
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,090
Are you serious?
274
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,926
Why would you go to a party
celebrating their engagement then?
275
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,387
I guess I just wanted to prove
that I could do it,
276
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:11,683
that I'm not gonna spend my life obsessed
over the fact I missed my shot with her.
277
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:14,436
You're doing great with that so far.
You know what, Carrie?
278
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,687
I am.
279
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:18,148
I am, considering the facts,
280
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:21,276
and I'll be doing even more better
when I find my...
281
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,195
Dignity?
Oop!
282
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,905
Oh!
283
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,531
Jack Daniel's.
284
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:29,201
Okay.
The nectar of the gods.
285
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:32,686
You're a real sad sack of shit right now.
286
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:37,250
Can I tell you a story?
287
00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:41,338
Has to do with when Avery and I first met.
288
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,364
Just give me the abridged version.
289
00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:47,677
It all started three years
and one day ago.
290
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:50,430
The year was 2014.
291
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:53,391
A time filled with hope and dreams.
292
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:56,353
I can still remember the exact pitch
of her laugh.
293
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:59,689
(LAUGHING)
(AUDIO SLOWS DOWN)
294
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:03,026
CARRIE: That's not how it happened.
NOAH: I think you're mistaken.
295
00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:04,945
CARRIE: No, I was at that party.
296
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,845
I was just... preoccupied.
297
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,698
Wait. Where are we?
298
00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:11,952
We are at my home, sister.
299
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,579
No, this is a bar. I'm not your...
300
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,248
Oh, I'm Dr...
Noah, get back in.
301
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,916
(GASPS)
Oh!
302
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:21,378
(NOAH GROANING)
303
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,255
Je...
You okay?
304
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,423
I'm fine.
Jesus Christ.
305
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:28,468
No, I'm not Jesus Christ, I'm Noah.
Oh. Okay.
306
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:32,055
Get in the truck.
No, I need to keep my buzz going.
307
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,306
Get... Oh!
308
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,267
I'll take it.
Seriously?
309
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,144
(PIANO JAZZ PLAYING)
CARRIE: Think you should sit down.
310
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,980
Sorry. So sorry.
311
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,232
There's my friend Max.
Noah!
312
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:45,527
Oh, my God, you are drunk.
Gotta get you some help. Excuse me.
313
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,905
Can we get some ginger whiskey,
a blueberry Red Bull, and who is this?
314
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:51,950
You didn't pick up an escort, did you?
You are very lovely.
315
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,160
Hey, I'm Max.
And I'm leaving.
316
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,413
I have a photo shoot
in Lafayette Park tomorrow morning.
317
00:14:56,437 --> 00:15:00,000
That's where I take my wedding photos.
'Cause I am a photographer, not an escort.
318
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:03,837
What a coincidence, 'cause my office
actually overlooks that park.
319
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:06,756
Oh, yeah! That big dumb building full
of douche bags.
320
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,800
Yeah. I'm the vice president
of the douche bags.
321
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:11,761
You're obviously in great hands.
No, no, no, no, no.
322
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,930
You gotta hear the rest of the story.
323
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:17,726
'Cause this is the part
that gets truly tragic.
324
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,104
You know when you are about
to fulfill your destiny?
325
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:24,858
I waited too long, and then I got hugged.
326
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:29,887
(OPERA TENOR SINGING “PAGLIACCI”)
327
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,617
You're so awesome.
Mmm.
328
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,435
(MACHINE GUN FIRE)
(MEN SCREAMING, GRUNTING)
329
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:41,499
Oh, this is so nice to have
a good guy friend, I can't even tell you.
330
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:42,500
(GROANS)
331
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,527
(SINGING CONTINUES)
332
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,508
NOAH: I left never knowing
what went wrong.
333
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:52,177
Bye!
Bye.
334
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,496
But I figured I would at least
get a second chance with her.
335
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:57,790
Until fate...
336
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:01,853
kicked me in my ball sack
the very next day
337
00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:03,647
when she met Ethan.
338
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,566
(HOOVES CLOPPING)
339
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:07,633
Can I help you with that?
340
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,161
NOAH: And you know why
she needed more cereal?
341
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:22,082
Because I ate all of her Cookie Crisp.
342
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:25,835
Like a... chubby, nine-year-old slob.
343
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:29,589
Wow. Your mental recollection
of that moment feels super-accurate.
344
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:32,217
Ethan has nothing on you.
He kinda does.
345
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:35,220
He's, like, the nicest guy ever.
He's, like, Mormon nice.
346
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:39,599
But that night, me and Avery,
we had something, and it was real.
347
00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:43,019
We bonded. We were laughing.
And she said I was cute.
348
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:45,271
Okay, “cute”? You're clinging to “cute.”
349
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:48,716
Noah, my little brother's cute.
That doesn't mean I wanna have sex...
350
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:50,843
I'm not...
351
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:52,988
You get it.
352
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,782
I get that you have sexual thoughts
about your little brother,
353
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:58,201
and I also get that you're mean.
354
00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,936
You can tell that I'm in
an emotional state right now.
355
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:07,502
Noah, relationships are all about energy
and attraction and intangible things,
356
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,462
things beyond your control.
357
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:11,423
Okay, you may be a great guy,
358
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:14,092
but you were never gonna
be that guy to Avery.
359
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,845
I just think it's, you know,
time to move on.
360
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,723
I've been telling him for three years.
You have something on your lips.
361
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:22,100
Let me get it with mine.
Does that ever work for you?
362
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,209
Yes.
It does, yes.
363
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:27,296
And with that, Max can take it from here.
364
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,817
Feel better, Noah.
365
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:34,237
It was lovely meeting you, by the way.
We'll talk soon, at dinner or something.
366
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:36,156
Doubtful.
She's right.
367
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,891
Why would Avery ever want to be with me?
Look at me.
368
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,787
Look at me, Maxie. I got a Play-Doh face.
369
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,998
People love your Play-Doh face.
370
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,958
I got a disgusting face.
371
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,668
Noah, I hate seeing you like this.
372
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:50,545
(NOAH STAMMERING)
373
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,881
Let's get you out of here. On your feet.
374
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,591
Whoo!
375
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,009
Oh! Oh! (GRUNTS)
376
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:58,219
Help me help you.
377
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:01,681
Ooh, here's a tip.
Here's a tip from my tip jar.
378
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:04,851
Don't fall in love!
She's gonna rip your heart out!
379
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,561
So sorry about my friend.
380
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,438
(GRUNTING)
You okay? You all right?
381
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:09,939
Focus. Focus.
Where are we going?
382
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:12,108
I'm gonna go score us a ride.
Just sit tight.
383
00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:13,693
Um... Okay.
What are you doing?
384
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:16,946
I'm... (STAMMERS) Okay, look...
385
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:19,598
I'm sitting tight, baby!
All right! Sit tight!
386
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,829
Oh. My old friend the photo booth.
387
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:27,082
Let's give her a spin.
388
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,315
(CHUCKLES)
389
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:34,089
Yeah, still have these after three years.
390
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:37,116
You truly are a sad sack of shit.
391
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:46,125
If only I could have a chance...
392
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,853
to do everything different,
393
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:51,380
I could be the kind of guy she would want.
394
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,550
(FLASH POPPING)
395
00:18:55,759 --> 00:19:00,472
I could be exactly the kind of guy
Avery would end up with.
396
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,891
(CLICKING)
397
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,406
(GROANING)
398
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:26,707
(SIGHS) Oh, son of a bitch.
399
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,251
Mmm.
400
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,021
What a crazy dream.
401
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,648
(GRUNTS)
402
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,215
(MURMURS)
403
00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:41,471
(SIGHS)
404
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,037
Hey, little witch.
Halloween was two days ago.
405
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,021
GIRL: Piss off.
406
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,326
What the hell?
407
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,306
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
408
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,099
Halloween lasts a week now?
409
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,101
It's good to be a kid today.
410
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,585
(HORN HONKING)
411
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:19,569
All right, 75 cents, your change.
There you are. Thanks.
412
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:24,824
Could I get a big-ass bottle of Advil
and a blueberry Red Bull, please?
413
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:25,849
CLERK: No problem.
414
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,195
Hey, um...
415
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:44,243
Could you tell me what day it is?
It's Halloween.
416
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:49,873
Yeah, but, I mean... Halloween...
417
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,709
has definitely already happened, so...
418
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:56,797
And what year is it?
419
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,777
It's 2014.
420
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,095
Now, do you need anything else?
421
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:05,931
Yeah.
422
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:08,785
Okay, uh...
423
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:10,119
you know...
424
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:12,938
could I just get my blueberry Red Bull
so I can get going?
425
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:16,251
Red Bull doesn't make
a blueberry flavor though.
426
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,586
Just makes one flavor. Red Bull.
427
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,380
That's their flavor. Red Bull.
428
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,382
(ECHOING) Red Bull... Red Bull...
429
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:24,741
Holy shit.
430
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,118
You all right?
431
00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:30,181
Ohh!
432
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:32,124
Hey, where you going, man?
433
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,733
Max! Excuse me.
434
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:42,068
Hi.
435
00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:45,095
Hey. Max? No? You know Max?
436
00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:47,347
Max!
437
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:50,892
Yo. Over here.
438
00:21:51,768 --> 00:21:53,955
MAN: Corporate Asset Management.
Please hold.
439
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:56,708
I gotta talk.
And I gotta listen.
440
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,626
But you got 15 seconds, tops.
441
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:01,212
Something unexplainable
is happening to me, Max.
442
00:22:01,236 --> 00:22:05,365
Look at all these papers. They all
have the exact same date on them.
443
00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:07,701
Where am I?
444
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,580
How did I get here?
What is happening to my life?
445
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:14,851
Did I not tell you the day
you dropped out of business school
446
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:17,020
something exactly like this
was gonna happen to you?
447
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:19,814
Exactly like what?
Like a quarter-life crisis.
448
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:21,065
No.
Yeah, you are.
449
00:22:21,089 --> 00:22:24,444
How many times did I tell you I could talk
to my boss and he would offer you a job?
450
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:27,697
You and I, we're supposed to be the Anna
and Elsa of the corporate assistant game.
451
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:30,450
From Frozen?
Max, I need my Diet Sunkist, yeah?
452
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:31,743
Five minutes ago, dummy.
453
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:35,038
Of course you can have a playdate at
Julie's house, sweetie. Go, shit-weasel!
454
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,206
I'm on it, Sir. He's a sweetheart.
455
00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:40,835
But you're not an assistant.
You're a vice president.
456
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:42,545
Not yet.
You are though.
457
00:22:42,569 --> 00:22:43,921
Okay, I'm working there.
458
00:22:43,945 --> 00:22:47,467
Costigan assured me that within
three years and an attitude for gratitude,
459
00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:48,468
I'll be at the top.
460
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:52,138
I'm investing in myself.
See this watch? Guess how much that cost.
461
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:53,806
BOTH: $25,000.
462
00:22:53,830 --> 00:22:56,392
Good guess. Wow, you know quality.
463
00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:59,937
I bought it cash. Well, one percent down.
The rest is on extended layaway.
464
00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:02,648
(HORN HONKING)
But it's a Breitling. It's so expensive.
465
00:23:02,672 --> 00:23:05,860
Don't even know how to pronounce it.
Not too much.
466
00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:09,530
I don't want to be too jacked, but I want
to be able to tell time with ease.
467
00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:11,598
Oh, my God.
468
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:14,410
It's her.
469
00:23:14,434 --> 00:23:15,953
That's good! There you go!
470
00:23:15,977 --> 00:23:17,687
(GROWLS)
All right, give me a natural one.
471
00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:21,084
Cheese!
472
00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:24,128
You guys are gonna love these
in 30 years. Oh, yeah. Classic.
473
00:23:24,152 --> 00:23:26,089
Hey! Hey!
There we go.
474
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:28,031
Uh, no. Reception's that way, buddy.
475
00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:29,926
No, you know me.
476
00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:32,553
Nice try.
I know that your name is Carrie.
477
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:34,680
You're Avery's best friend.
478
00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:37,350
It was just last night
I was puking in the bathroom.
479
00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:39,668
I almost passed out in your truck.
That truck right there.
480
00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:43,189
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, Noah, what are you doing?
481
00:23:43,213 --> 00:23:45,024
She's being weird, man.
I'm so sorry.
482
00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:47,985
You have to excuse my friend.
He gets weird when he's hitting on chicks.
483
00:23:48,009 --> 00:23:50,387
Wait. Don't I know you?
484
00:23:51,513 --> 00:23:53,407
From Instagram!
What's your handle? It's, um...
485
00:23:53,431 --> 00:23:55,409
@CarrieGoFYourself.
Great.
486
00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:58,079
Mmm.
No, no, you guys know each other.
487
00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:00,998
It was last night.
We hung out at the piano bar.
488
00:24:01,022 --> 00:24:03,126
Right after Avery's engagement par...
489
00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:04,151
You guys...
490
00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:09,507
I feel like I'm going crazy right now.
Like, what's happening? Am I crazy?
491
00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:11,658
Seriously, dude, she said get lost.
What?
492
00:24:12,659 --> 00:24:14,554
Okay, weirdo? This is my day.
493
00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,639
CARRIE: I said get lost.
Wait a second.
494
00:24:16,663 --> 00:24:19,976
If you don't know me
and you don't know her,
495
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,376
that means that last night...
496
00:24:22,419 --> 00:24:23,771
just... just didn't happen.
497
00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:27,024
Which means that...
That tonight didn't happen.
498
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:29,402
So I still have a chance to meet her
before she meets him.
499
00:24:29,426 --> 00:24:31,112
And then all that means
500
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:34,490
is that I just traveled back in time!
501
00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:36,200
Okay, Noah, seriously, stop.
502
00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:39,328
Don't do this. You sniffing paint?
Okay, no.
503
00:24:39,352 --> 00:24:43,457
Listen, I'll explain it later to everyone.
I'm gonna tell everybody about this.
504
00:24:43,481 --> 00:24:46,085
But right now I have someone to meet.
505
00:24:46,109 --> 00:24:48,296
I'll talk to you soon.
Wait, what do you...?
506
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,863
(LAUGHS) Oh, my gosh.
507
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:55,094
What an animal, that one, right? I'm Max.
We can talk about it all over dinner.
508
00:24:55,118 --> 00:24:56,929
Piss off.
Okay.
509
00:24:56,953 --> 00:25:00,057
I'll DM you later, CarrieGoFYourself.
(LAUGHS)
510
00:25:00,081 --> 00:25:03,811
My apologies.
Give me a natural look. Just kidding.
511
00:25:03,835 --> 00:25:06,522
♪ I gotta get back in ti-i-ime ♪
512
00:25:06,546 --> 00:25:09,775
(VOCALIZING) Up top!
513
00:25:09,799 --> 00:25:12,445
Whoo! ♪ Back in time ♪
514
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:14,530
(VOCALIZING CONTINUES)
515
00:25:14,554 --> 00:25:15,680
Whoo!
516
00:25:19,309 --> 00:25:21,078
♪ Gotta get back in time ♪
517
00:25:21,102 --> 00:25:23,146
What is the plan?
518
00:25:23,730 --> 00:25:26,441
Not Garth. He is too cute.
519
00:25:27,025 --> 00:25:30,278
So what would Ethan wear?
520
00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:32,924
Mmm.
521
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,509
Tonight calls for something
522
00:25:35,533 --> 00:25:38,745
a little more... debonair.
523
00:25:39,913 --> 00:25:42,457
(POP ROCK SONG CONTINUES)
524
00:25:46,753 --> 00:25:49,732
(PHONE BEEPS)
Count Basie.
525
00:25:49,756 --> 00:25:51,817
FEMALE: (VOICE ON PHONE)
Searching “Count Basie.”
526
00:25:51,841 --> 00:25:52,902
(PHONE BEEPS)
527
00:25:52,926 --> 00:25:56,471
(DANCE SONG PLAYING)
♪ I'm sexy and I know it ♪
528
00:26:01,184 --> 00:26:04,622
Dottie Hinson!
If it isn't the cutest catch...
529
00:26:04,646 --> 00:26:05,706
Nope.
530
00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:08,149
I'm Angus Young. AC/DC.
531
00:26:09,025 --> 00:26:11,671
No? ♪ I been thunderstruck ♪
532
00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:13,881
God! I feel like a damn dinosaur!
533
00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:15,407
Worst Halloween ever!
534
00:26:17,742 --> 00:26:19,720
Mistaken identity.
Thought you were someone else.
535
00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:22,497
(SONG CONTINUES)
536
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:24,475
Oh.
537
00:26:24,499 --> 00:26:26,793
Oh, God, it's Carrie. Shit.
538
00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:30,690
Uh... Oh! Hey, Jell-O Shot Doctor!
539
00:26:30,714 --> 00:26:31,899
Yo, hey, Doc!
Hey.
540
00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:35,778
No, I'm good with that, thanks.
See that girl in the basketball jersey?
541
00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:38,531
She was like,
“I'm super into that doctor over there.”
542
00:26:38,555 --> 00:26:39,556
Really?
Yeah.
543
00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:43,435
Figures. I am on it!
544
00:26:44,185 --> 00:26:45,645
Okay.
545
00:26:47,063 --> 00:26:48,940
(EXHALES)
(SONG CONTINUES)
546
00:26:49,983 --> 00:26:51,669
Hey!
(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE)
547
00:26:51,693 --> 00:26:53,462
Okay.
548
00:26:53,486 --> 00:26:55,798
How are you?
I'll come back.
549
00:26:55,822 --> 00:26:57,008
Okay.
Yeah.
550
00:26:57,032 --> 00:26:59,051
No pressure here.
551
00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:02,179
Just use everything
that you've learned about her
552
00:27:02,203 --> 00:27:04,432
to make her fall in love with you.
553
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:07,143
You're like a spy, Noah.
You're like a love spy.
554
00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:11,355
You're like a sophisticated, charming,
sexy, not-at-all-creepy,
555
00:27:11,379 --> 00:27:12,857
international... Uh-oh.
556
00:27:12,881 --> 00:27:15,318
Hey, watch it, buddy!
Whoo!
557
00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:17,218
Hulk smash!
558
00:27:18,094 --> 00:27:19,721
You must be Dottie Hinson.
559
00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:21,598
Yeah.
560
00:27:22,891 --> 00:27:24,618
Ashby.
561
00:27:24,642 --> 00:27:25,769
Noah Ashby.
562
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:28,706
So, what's your favorite drink?
563
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:31,250
Mine is grapefruit juice
564
00:27:31,274 --> 00:27:34,545
with some vodka
and exactly three maraschino cherries.
565
00:27:34,569 --> 00:27:36,047
That's my favorite drink too.
566
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:37,673
That's insane.
What?
567
00:27:37,697 --> 00:27:40,134
It's like we have some sort of...
568
00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,428
cosmic connection or something.
569
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:44,430
(BOTH LAUGHING)
I guess that means something.
570
00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:46,432
I don't know.
(AVERY CHUCKLES)
571
00:27:46,456 --> 00:27:49,977
You know, I forgot to ask you earlier,
where are you from?
572
00:27:50,001 --> 00:27:51,437
You forgot?
573
00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:52,646
Uh, yeah.
574
00:27:52,670 --> 00:27:54,774
I'm kind of from all over the place.
575
00:27:54,798 --> 00:27:56,650
Kind of...
An army brat? Yeah.
576
00:27:56,674 --> 00:27:59,487
I have such an appreciation
for the armed forces.
577
00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:01,388
How did you know I was gonna say that?
578
00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:05,534
Just because your... your demeanor.
579
00:28:05,558 --> 00:28:07,936
And you said that you move around a lot.
580
00:28:08,770 --> 00:28:10,748
So... Oh, my God. Look at this guy.
581
00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:12,792
Hipster Waldo over there.
582
00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:17,254
Oh, my gosh, I think I know him.
His name is Patric.
583
00:28:17,278 --> 00:28:19,757
With no “K.” Yes.
584
00:28:19,781 --> 00:28:22,176
Yes. You know him too?
You know...
585
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,660
Oh, my God. They're gonna fall in.
586
00:28:24,744 --> 00:28:27,765
(LAUGHS)
Oh, you were so spot on.
587
00:28:27,789 --> 00:28:29,600
Now they're making out in the pool.
588
00:28:29,624 --> 00:28:31,268
So tacky.
I know, right?
589
00:28:31,292 --> 00:28:34,647
I ran into him once at this benefit.
590
00:28:34,671 --> 00:28:37,149
Oh, which one? I put on benefits.
591
00:28:37,173 --> 00:28:38,842
Which bene...? Um...
592
00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:42,363
It was a...
Well, which one was it? I go to so many.
593
00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:45,616
It was Kids Without... Toes.
594
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:46,909
Which is a big one.
595
00:28:46,933 --> 00:28:50,830
They say it's the harelip
of our generation.
596
00:28:50,854 --> 00:28:52,540
That's so sad.
597
00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:55,334
These kids, they can't walk very...
598
00:28:55,358 --> 00:28:57,920
'Cause they don't have toes, so Th-they...
599
00:28:57,944 --> 00:29:01,048
It's like they have hooves and...
That's not important.
600
00:29:01,072 --> 00:29:04,719
What is important was,
this guy cornered me about sea turtles.
601
00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:06,220
Sea turtles! Yes!
602
00:29:06,244 --> 00:29:09,181
I was like, “Dude, I get it.
603
00:29:09,205 --> 00:29:11,016
They are our most elegant
oceanic guardians.”
604
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,644
But it's not about turtles.
605
00:29:13,668 --> 00:29:15,688
It's about the toes.
606
00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:19,507
Or the lack thereof, in this case.
It's so sad. It's so sad.
607
00:29:21,342 --> 00:29:23,487
How do you think tonight's going?
It's going pretty good, right?
608
00:29:23,511 --> 00:29:25,740
I feel a good connection here.
Do you like music?
609
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:28,743
I mean, of course you do. You like
breathing, right? Let's get out of here.
610
00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:31,186
(PIANO JAZZ PLAYING)
611
00:29:37,233 --> 00:29:40,337
You know, I'm thinking
you look like a Count Basie fan.
612
00:29:40,361 --> 00:29:42,757
Yeah, he's my favorite.
How did you know that?
613
00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:45,342
I was just getting
Count Basie vibes from you.
614
00:29:45,366 --> 00:29:47,344
Uh-oh. What's this hand about to do?
615
00:29:47,368 --> 00:29:49,430
(PIANO INTRO)
You know this one?
616
00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:50,830
I love this song.
617
00:29:52,832 --> 00:29:56,020
You know his name
actually is William Basie?
618
00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:57,772
Born in Red Bank, New Jersey.
619
00:29:57,796 --> 00:30:02,526
Eventually won nine Grammys for hits such
as “Little Darlin'” and “Corner Pocket.”
620
00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:05,613
Of course, he did die
of pancreatic cancer in 1984.
621
00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,657
Those are just a few small facts,
in case you wanted to know.
622
00:30:08,681 --> 00:30:11,452
You know a lot about Count Basie.
Hey, I know my music history.
623
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:14,038
(WHEEZING LAUGH)
624
00:30:14,062 --> 00:30:15,647
AVERY: This is great!
625
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:19,251
AVERY: These things are so much fun.
Okay.
626
00:30:19,275 --> 00:30:21,253
AVERY: This is gonna be great.
Ready for this?
627
00:30:21,277 --> 00:30:23,029
Yes.
Pose hard.
628
00:30:24,906 --> 00:30:26,926
Wow, you're really good at this.
629
00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:30,203
Have you done this before?
I'm actually 100 percent self-taught.
630
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,973
Wow.
Yeah. I've never even had a lesson.
631
00:30:32,997 --> 00:30:34,767
Really?
I'm a natural.
632
00:30:34,791 --> 00:30:37,144
That's amazing.
Come on. This is the best part.
633
00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:38,062
Okay.
634
00:30:38,086 --> 00:30:39,605
AVERY: That one is great.
635
00:30:39,629 --> 00:30:43,567
A lot of first-time photo booth couples
give off an obvious “cute” vibe.
636
00:30:43,591 --> 00:30:45,110
Mm-hmm. Nope.
Not us.
637
00:30:45,134 --> 00:30:47,822
Not us. We gave off a real, authentic...
(PHONE CHIMES)
638
00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:50,223
Sort of natural thing we have between us.
Oh, sorry.
639
00:30:51,474 --> 00:30:52,993
Drunken text from my roommate Carrie.
640
00:30:53,017 --> 00:30:56,580
She says, “Ugh. Made out with Dr. Douche
and puked from too many Jell-O shots.
641
00:30:56,604 --> 00:31:00,751
Home in two minutes
to come cry in your lap.” Bad night.
642
00:31:00,775 --> 00:31:02,711
She's coming here right now?
Mm-hmm.
643
00:31:02,735 --> 00:31:06,382
Okay, uh, I should... I should actually...
I'm gonna get going, 'cause I'm...
644
00:31:06,406 --> 00:31:08,425
Really? She's gonna be here
in two seconds.
645
00:31:08,449 --> 00:31:11,220
Okay, uh, do you have
a back door or anything?
646
00:31:11,244 --> 00:31:13,848
I almost forgot.
How do you think tonight went?
647
00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:15,933
If tomorrow you were to meet a tall,
648
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:18,769
conventionally good-looking,
successful guy,
649
00:31:18,793 --> 00:31:23,006
would this awesome connection we have
still be what you're most excited about?
650
00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:26,009
Sorry. What?
It doesn't matter.
651
00:31:31,472 --> 00:31:34,350
(SIGHS) Avery, you should
put a sock on the door.
652
00:31:36,102 --> 00:31:38,455
I know you.
NOAH: Mm-mmm.
653
00:31:38,479 --> 00:31:40,958
I know you.
I don't know you. You're a stranger.
654
00:31:40,982 --> 00:31:43,794
No, you're the freak
at my wedding shoot today.
655
00:31:43,818 --> 00:31:45,588
Mm-mmm.
You two know each other?
656
00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:50,259
It's getting late,
and I feel that alcohol is an issue here.
657
00:31:50,283 --> 00:31:51,343
This one seems...
658
00:31:51,367 --> 00:31:53,554
This is the psycho
I was telling you about!
659
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,556
The one who knew me,
said he was at our house,
660
00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:57,641
claimed to be some sort of
time-traveling nomad
661
00:31:57,665 --> 00:31:59,518
and spent last night
in the back of my Bronco.
662
00:31:59,542 --> 00:32:01,353
Seems like she's a little...
(GASPS)
663
00:32:01,377 --> 00:32:04,064
You didn't guess I was an army brat.
You already knew that.
664
00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:06,442
Because you're a stalker!
A stalker?
665
00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:07,902
I knew it!
I'm not a stalker.
666
00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:09,528
I'm wearing a tuxedo.
667
00:32:09,552 --> 00:32:12,448
Stalkers wear, like, trench coats
and no underwear.
668
00:32:12,472 --> 00:32:15,200
And I am clearly wearing underwear. Look.
669
00:32:15,224 --> 00:32:17,620
Oh, my God! Get out!
Rape! Rape!
670
00:32:17,644 --> 00:32:20,456
Rape? Why would you say rape? It's not r...
671
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,750
Carrie!
What we have tonight...
672
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:23,834
That was cosmic, right?
673
00:32:23,858 --> 00:32:26,211
Don't touch her, asshole!
674
00:32:26,235 --> 00:32:27,922
“Don't touch her asshole”?
(GRUNTS)
675
00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:31,967
(SCREAMS) Yes, Carrie! Hit him! Hit him!
676
00:32:31,991 --> 00:32:33,761
(NOAH GROANING)
Hit him harder!
677
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:36,329
Hit him in the balls! Hit him in the dick!
678
00:32:39,123 --> 00:32:41,000
(SIGHS)
679
00:32:42,001 --> 00:32:44,170
Oh, my God.
680
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:47,590
Oh.
681
00:32:59,143 --> 00:33:01,145
(PHONE CHIMES)
682
00:33:13,116 --> 00:33:14,409
Whoo.
683
00:33:15,201 --> 00:33:18,287
Oh, looks like today's apology day.
684
00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:26,045
ETHAN: One sec!
685
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:30,192
Hi. Can I help you?
Hey, man, I just...
686
00:33:30,216 --> 00:33:32,820
I wanted to come by
and apologize for me at the party.
687
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,989
Oh, you're here for the party. Uh, cool.
688
00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,408
Yeah. Come on in.
We're still setting up, but, uh...
689
00:33:37,432 --> 00:33:39,576
You're having another party?
Grab a drink.
690
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,520
You must be one of Avery's friends.
Avery, your first guest is here.
691
00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:47,334
So, you guys go to high school
together, or... Wait. Northwestern?
692
00:33:47,358 --> 00:33:49,193
I'm coming.
What?
693
00:33:50,778 --> 00:33:52,006
Oh, my God.
694
00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:53,966
Hi.
695
00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:55,843
Oh, my God.
What?
696
00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:58,012
(GASPS)
You know what? I'm gonna go.
697
00:33:58,036 --> 00:33:59,996
(SCREAMING)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
698
00:34:02,123 --> 00:34:03,767
(GROANING) It burns!
699
00:34:03,791 --> 00:34:06,729
It's him!
(SHOUTING INCOHERENTLY)
700
00:34:06,753 --> 00:34:09,189
It's who? Who?
Carrie!
701
00:34:09,213 --> 00:34:11,442
It's who?
Oh, my God, he's back!
702
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:13,301
No, it's a misunderstanding!
703
00:34:14,177 --> 00:34:16,196
(SCREAMS)
704
00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:18,407
Why do you keep hitting me with trees?
705
00:34:18,431 --> 00:34:21,785
That's the guy from three years ago!
That's the stalker from Halloween!
706
00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:23,186
That's the stalker?
707
00:34:27,982 --> 00:34:31,462
You don't understand.
We're old friends, Ethan!
708
00:34:31,486 --> 00:34:33,255
How do you know my name?
709
00:34:33,279 --> 00:34:35,841
How do you know my name, stalker?
710
00:34:35,865 --> 00:34:38,218
You're right. I am a stalker.
711
00:34:38,242 --> 00:34:41,180
A-And I'm crazy, and I've got a bomb.
712
00:34:41,204 --> 00:34:44,892
He's got a bomb.
You're right! I've got a bomb!
713
00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:46,351
I've got a bomb!
714
00:34:46,375 --> 00:34:49,730
I-It's fine. I'm sorry my bomb threat
ruined your magical evening.
715
00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:51,547
Have a great life.
716
00:34:53,674 --> 00:34:56,737
Yeah? You'd better come back
with more than a bomb next time, pal!
717
00:34:56,761 --> 00:34:59,156
Ethan! Less than a bomb.
718
00:34:59,180 --> 00:35:01,641
Less than a bomb!
(EXHALES)
719
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,251
Okay.
720
00:35:11,275 --> 00:35:13,378
So, you woke up here.
721
00:35:13,402 --> 00:35:15,154
How did you get here?
722
00:35:17,115 --> 00:35:18,574
Look for clues.
723
00:35:23,746 --> 00:35:25,123
Okay.
724
00:35:27,208 --> 00:35:29,335
Peppermint patty. ChapStick.
725
00:35:32,463 --> 00:35:33,881
A receipt?
726
00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:36,902
For the peppermint patty
and the ChapStick.
727
00:35:36,926 --> 00:35:38,469
(POPS LIPS)
728
00:35:45,309 --> 00:35:46,477
Oh, my God.
729
00:35:47,562 --> 00:35:48,914
The photo booth.
730
00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:51,041
(PIANO JAZZ PLAYING)
731
00:35:51,065 --> 00:35:52,525
Oh, shit. Sorry.
Dude!
732
00:35:53,693 --> 00:35:56,338
What kind of car do you drive?
An Impreza. Why?
733
00:35:56,362 --> 00:36:00,050
Yeah, that's the one. It's getting towed
right now, so you have time. Save it.
734
00:36:00,074 --> 00:36:01,885
That's my Mom's car.
735
00:36:01,909 --> 00:36:03,661
Well, your Mom has a sick whip.
736
00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:06,723
All right, come on.
737
00:36:06,747 --> 00:36:11,711
Come on. Take me.
Take me, take me, take me.
738
00:36:12,461 --> 00:36:14,297
(FLASH POPPING)
739
00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:16,966
Take me, take me...
740
00:36:21,762 --> 00:36:24,098
Holy shit.
741
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:27,411
Oh, I owned your ass,
space-time continuum.
742
00:36:27,435 --> 00:36:30,229
I traveled through time.
(BEEPING)
743
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:32,624
Max?
MAX: Yo. What up?
744
00:36:32,648 --> 00:36:34,126
Hey, what's up, man?
745
00:36:34,150 --> 00:36:36,611
Uh, I know you got
a big date tonight, but...
746
00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:38,863
I need your help.
747
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:44,344
Nope, that is not what I wanted to do.
748
00:36:44,368 --> 00:36:45,262
Hello?
749
00:36:45,286 --> 00:36:48,724
Yeah. Hey, sorry. I don't know why
I hung up, but I do need your help.
750
00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:51,000
Uh, there's this girl.
Her name's Avery, and...
751
00:36:52,543 --> 00:36:55,463
(SIGHS) We are already so late.
752
00:36:56,422 --> 00:36:59,193
What if she meets another guy
before I have a chance to get there?
753
00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:01,445
What are you talking about, bro?
It's gonna be fine.
754
00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:05,282
And listen, I'm the one who had to cancel
on Carla, JC Penney underwear model.
755
00:37:05,306 --> 00:37:07,201
Intimates, bro. She's got an old soul.
756
00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:10,621
Okay, dude, I'm serious.
You get more girls than any guy I know.
757
00:37:10,645 --> 00:37:12,873
I need your help.
You look good. Great start.
758
00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:16,043
Well, thank you.
I appreciate you loaning me your shirt.
759
00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:18,694
But I don't know, man. I have...
760
00:37:19,695 --> 00:37:21,882
I have leather strips in my armpits.
761
00:37:21,906 --> 00:37:23,467
This isn't me.
Exactly.
762
00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:25,636
'Cause Noah doesn't get
that caliber of a girl.
763
00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:29,264
You gotta dress the part.
You gotta be ahead of the curve, bro.
764
00:37:29,288 --> 00:37:31,249
You gotta feel it. Look at me.
765
00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:35,062
(LAUGHS)
766
00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:37,856
“Man, what's up, girl?” Try that.
767
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:41,902
So something's funny off in the distance,
I squint, lick my lips and look at her?
768
00:37:41,926 --> 00:37:44,178
And you bring the attention back to her.
769
00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:46,531
This is stupid.
770
00:37:46,555 --> 00:37:49,517
It's great.
(LAUGHS)
771
00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:53,497
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
772
00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:56,124
Are you doing a Joker impersonation?
No, this is like...
773
00:37:56,148 --> 00:37:57,876
It was good.
That was... Okay.
774
00:37:57,900 --> 00:37:59,378
Did you think that was bad?
775
00:37:59,402 --> 00:38:01,380
I'll do it one more time.
Follow what I do.
776
00:38:01,404 --> 00:38:03,715
(LAUGHS)
777
00:38:03,739 --> 00:38:05,533
What's up, girl?
778
00:38:06,450 --> 00:38:08,178
(LAUGHS)
779
00:38:08,202 --> 00:38:10,013
(MOANS)
780
00:38:10,037 --> 00:38:12,516
What's up, girl?
Um, w-we'll work on that.
781
00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:15,686
You Need A Triple-A Plan...
Assertive, ambitious, asshole.
782
00:38:15,710 --> 00:38:18,772
There's something about confidence
that a girl just loves.
783
00:38:18,796 --> 00:38:19,815
They smell it.
784
00:38:19,839 --> 00:38:21,900
Girls are attracted to guys
who know what they want
785
00:38:21,924 --> 00:38:24,194
and aren't afraid to go for it,
which usually isn't you.
786
00:38:24,218 --> 00:38:27,656
And I don't like this part,
but if all else fails, be an asshole.
787
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,826
Be an asshole?
Yeah. Not hard asshole. Soft asshole.
788
00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:34,937
I gotta be a soft asshole.
Let me hear a soft asshole kind of dis.
789
00:38:35,479 --> 00:38:38,000
Your... Your goatee's...
790
00:38:38,024 --> 00:38:40,109
It... It's stupid. I've never liked it.
791
00:38:41,277 --> 00:38:42,421
Okay, wait. (CLEARS THROAT)
792
00:38:42,445 --> 00:38:45,465
You have beady little satanic eyes.
793
00:38:45,489 --> 00:38:49,177
Wow. That makes me doubt myself,
but in a sexy kind of way.
794
00:38:49,201 --> 00:38:52,913
'Cause girls can't resist a guy
that makes 'em feel bad at first.
795
00:38:53,831 --> 00:38:56,018
What are the three A's?
(SIGHS)
796
00:38:56,042 --> 00:38:58,586
Assertive, ambitious, asshole.
797
00:38:59,420 --> 00:39:00,605
Soft asshole.
798
00:39:00,629 --> 00:39:03,233
Keep the shoulders down. Let's do this.
Triple-A. Always there.
799
00:39:03,257 --> 00:39:04,484
(HIP-HOP PLAYING)
♪ Let's go ♪
800
00:39:04,508 --> 00:39:06,653
♪ Give it to me, baby
Do it how you do it, yeah ♪
801
00:39:06,677 --> 00:39:08,989
♪ It's a party
We can do it like it's New Year's ♪
802
00:39:09,013 --> 00:39:10,532
MAX: Arr, matey. Hey.
803
00:39:10,556 --> 00:39:11,825
Don't talk to him.
804
00:39:11,849 --> 00:39:13,869
(SONG CONTINUES)
(EXHALES)
805
00:39:13,893 --> 00:39:16,121
NOAH: No, she's not in here.
806
00:39:16,145 --> 00:39:19,541
I'm gonna go check outside again.
No, no, no. You're gonna stay here.
807
00:39:19,565 --> 00:39:23,611
Be cool. Don't make it seem like you're
chasing after her. Don't be a stalker.
808
00:39:24,278 --> 00:39:26,256
NOAH: Oh, shit. There she is.
809
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:30,010
I was supposed to stop that drunk
Hulk asshole from bumping into her.
810
00:39:30,034 --> 00:39:32,054
I blew it. Great.
811
00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:34,973
It's not over. Okay? Maxie steps in now.
812
00:39:34,997 --> 00:39:36,641
I'm gonna distract her friend,
813
00:39:36,665 --> 00:39:39,144
the basketball player
that doesn't know how to swim.
814
00:39:39,168 --> 00:39:41,229
No, she's a Dunkin' Donut.
815
00:39:41,253 --> 00:39:43,482
Oh! That's good!
816
00:39:43,506 --> 00:39:44,941
Yeah, it's pretty good.
817
00:39:44,965 --> 00:39:46,693
Anyways, look, engage your girl.
818
00:39:46,717 --> 00:39:49,071
Bring up her ex. Girls hate that.
819
00:39:49,095 --> 00:39:50,554
Stay close.
820
00:39:52,014 --> 00:39:55,243
Ooh! Can I talk to you privately
about something in private?
821
00:39:55,267 --> 00:39:58,413
Uh, about what?
We're gonna get her a club soda first.
822
00:39:58,437 --> 00:40:01,416
And then I'll talk to you
about the private stuff.
823
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:02,441
That's clever.
824
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:11,051
Mmm!
825
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:12,803
I like that jersey.
826
00:40:12,827 --> 00:40:15,097
And I am not afraid to tell you that.
827
00:40:15,121 --> 00:40:18,791
Yeah, I liked it a lot too
until the Hulk smashed it.
828
00:40:21,127 --> 00:40:23,504
I think it looks really good.
Thanks.
829
00:40:28,175 --> 00:40:30,845
What, are you, like,
dressed as a tranny or something?
830
00:40:33,556 --> 00:40:36,451
No! No. I-It's from a movie.
831
00:40:36,475 --> 00:40:38,495
That's cute.
832
00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:41,623
Yeah, I don't really dig costumes.
That's why I kinda...
833
00:40:41,647 --> 00:40:45,276
You came as nothing,
which is really endearing.
834
00:40:46,110 --> 00:40:48,713
Okay, bye.
No! Wait, uh...
835
00:40:48,737 --> 00:40:50,739
I'm gonna get you a drink. Okay?
836
00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:56,388
Two beers, please.
Hey, this one? Total marathon.
837
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:59,182
But the stripper out front?
Sprint. My speed. Know what I'm sayin'?
838
00:40:59,206 --> 00:41:01,601
Yep. Okay, thank you very much,
Bill Cosby.
839
00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:05,337
But before you go, make her earn it.
Don't just give it to her.
840
00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:10,610
Yo, what's up? Me again.
841
00:41:10,634 --> 00:41:12,487
So, this'll be fun.
842
00:41:12,511 --> 00:41:15,639
You tell me something about yourself,
and if I find it interesting...
843
00:41:17,099 --> 00:41:19,870
Ding! I'm-a give you a beer.
844
00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:22,998
What?
Are you deaf? You couldn't hear that?
845
00:41:23,022 --> 00:41:25,667
You know, I think I figured out
who you are.
846
00:41:25,691 --> 00:41:27,377
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
847
00:41:27,401 --> 00:41:30,338
You are a giant,
human being-sized asshole.
848
00:41:30,362 --> 00:41:32,364
Thank you for the beer.
Have a great night.
849
00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:38,722
Wait. Okay, wait.
850
00:41:38,746 --> 00:41:40,289
Be back, girl.
Mm-hmm.
851
00:41:42,750 --> 00:41:45,586
Hey, where you going?
Anywhere that you aren't gonna be.
852
00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:51,234
Ew. I hate it when girls are this into me.
853
00:41:51,258 --> 00:41:54,529
And please, do me a favor.
Don't talk to me like your ex-boyfriend.
854
00:41:54,553 --> 00:41:55,822
I'm not.
855
00:41:55,846 --> 00:41:59,451
If he talked to me the way you're talking
to me, I would punch him in the face.
856
00:41:59,475 --> 00:42:01,244
You would?
But you're a total stranger.
857
00:42:01,268 --> 00:42:03,705
So I could probably kill you
and get away with it.
858
00:42:03,729 --> 00:42:06,082
Go ahead. Shank me.
God, I wish I could.
859
00:42:06,106 --> 00:42:07,250
Do it.
Okay, I will.
860
00:42:07,274 --> 00:42:08,734
I don't believe you.
Okay.
861
00:42:09,109 --> 00:42:10,152
Whoa!
862
00:42:11,987 --> 00:42:13,798
(GUESTS LAUGHING)
863
00:42:13,822 --> 00:42:16,510
(GROANS) Great. Yep.
864
00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:18,887
Yes, I'm fine. Thank you. How'd it feel?
865
00:42:18,911 --> 00:42:21,473
That felt really great, actually.
866
00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:23,415
Can you at least help me out?
Fine.
867
00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:26,228
Here. Take my hand. I'll help you...
868
00:42:26,252 --> 00:42:28,254
(SCREAMS)
(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)
869
00:42:29,004 --> 00:42:31,316
Oh, my God!
Whoo!
870
00:42:31,340 --> 00:42:33,193
AVERY: What the hell!
871
00:42:33,217 --> 00:42:35,445
Whoo. Whoo!
872
00:42:35,469 --> 00:42:38,490
You dick!
I'm the dick? How am I the dick?
873
00:42:38,514 --> 00:42:41,409
You're the one who pushed me in.
You told me to push you in!
874
00:42:41,433 --> 00:42:44,746
I told you to shank me in the ribs
for emotional closure.
875
00:42:44,770 --> 00:42:46,814
You're the worst.
You're the worst!
876
00:42:47,690 --> 00:42:50,067
You're the worst.
No, you're the worst.
877
00:42:53,362 --> 00:42:55,614
(GUESTS EXCLAIMING, CHEERING)
878
00:42:58,450 --> 00:43:01,221
Now we're the people at the party
that make out in the pool.
879
00:43:01,245 --> 00:43:03,247
I don't care.
880
00:43:04,707 --> 00:43:07,352
(MOANING) You're the worst.
Okay, here we go.
881
00:43:07,376 --> 00:43:08,836
Okay. Yeah.
882
00:43:13,007 --> 00:43:15,902
You know what?
I'm gonna put a sock on the door.
883
00:43:15,926 --> 00:43:17,428
No, wait. Here, just...
884
00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:20,598
(GLASS SHATTERS)
885
00:43:21,765 --> 00:43:24,643
Here. Okay. Bedroom's this way. Let's go.
886
00:43:27,396 --> 00:43:29,690
Oh, not today, tree.
887
00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:55,483
Oh-ho!
888
00:43:55,507 --> 00:43:57,176
Oh, my God.
889
00:43:58,594 --> 00:44:00,179
Twice. Okay.
890
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:02,765
Very good.
891
00:44:07,311 --> 00:44:09,396
Mmm.
What are you doing?
892
00:44:11,148 --> 00:44:12,650
Being the big spoon.
893
00:44:16,570 --> 00:44:18,364
Since when do we spoon?
894
00:44:19,948 --> 00:44:23,928
Since we started dating
and fell madly in love.
895
00:44:23,952 --> 00:44:25,954
(KISSING)
896
00:44:28,123 --> 00:44:31,436
What are you still doing here?
You hate sleeping over.
897
00:44:31,460 --> 00:44:33,253
Okay, what's going on here?
898
00:44:33,921 --> 00:44:36,674
God, please.
You were not that drunk last night.
899
00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:40,469
Remember? I texted you at midnight.
900
00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:43,823
Had a shit day at work
and my mother was harassing me
901
00:44:43,847 --> 00:44:46,034
about when I'm gonna finally find
a decent dude.
902
00:44:46,058 --> 00:44:49,061
Which isn't gonna happen
if you and I keep doing this shit.
903
00:44:50,062 --> 00:44:51,581
(SIGHS)
904
00:44:51,605 --> 00:44:55,150
If you weren't so good at sex,
this would have ended a long time ago.
905
00:44:57,111 --> 00:44:58,713
Wait, what's that?
906
00:44:58,737 --> 00:45:00,757
We're good at sex with each...?
907
00:45:00,781 --> 00:45:03,343
Oh. Yeah. Okay, that's cool.
908
00:45:03,367 --> 00:45:07,680
Okay, on the count of three, what is,
like, our favorite position, sexually?
909
00:45:07,704 --> 00:45:11,184
One, two, three.
910
00:45:11,208 --> 00:45:13,520
(WHISPERS) Is it doggie style?
911
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:15,146
Is that our favorite?
912
00:45:15,170 --> 00:45:18,858
Can you just get dressed? 'Cause I'm
busy today. You really can't stay here.
913
00:45:18,882 --> 00:45:21,361
Yes, I will get dressed.
914
00:45:21,385 --> 00:45:25,198
But did you want to have
morning sex real quick?
915
00:45:25,222 --> 00:45:27,409
Just to get the day started?
Here.
916
00:45:27,433 --> 00:45:29,476
Don't forget your, uh, leather pants.
917
00:45:30,853 --> 00:45:33,230
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
918
00:45:37,317 --> 00:45:40,255
Oh, my God.
919
00:45:40,279 --> 00:45:42,197
I went full asshole.
920
00:45:48,036 --> 00:45:49,097
(EXHALES)
921
00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:50,330
(DOOR OPENS)
922
00:45:51,123 --> 00:45:52,809
Oh, great, it's you.
923
00:45:52,833 --> 00:45:54,602
Oh, great, you.
924
00:45:54,626 --> 00:45:56,521
What the hell is...? Hey, what's up?
925
00:45:56,545 --> 00:45:58,148
Why are you...? Why's he here?
926
00:45:58,172 --> 00:46:00,150
Hey, man. Uh, Noah, right? Yeah.
927
00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:01,234
That's right.
928
00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:04,070
Haven't seen you around. How's it going?
Mm-hmm. It's going...
929
00:46:04,094 --> 00:46:06,239
How does he...? How do you know Avery?
930
00:46:06,263 --> 00:46:09,159
Uh, we're her friends,
which is more than you can say.
931
00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:11,953
Why don't you take your frosted tips,
get on your “douche bag-mobile.”
932
00:46:11,977 --> 00:46:12,895
We'd all appreciate it.
933
00:46:14,021 --> 00:46:15,689
NOAH: Oh, my God.
934
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:19,526
That's what I drive now?
Oh, I see what he's doing.
935
00:46:20,194 --> 00:46:21,087
Awesome.
936
00:46:21,111 --> 00:46:23,757
Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm ready.
Oh, thank you.
937
00:46:23,781 --> 00:46:27,969
What are we doing? We CrossFitting?
Pilates? Hot yoga? I'm down.
938
00:46:27,993 --> 00:46:31,723
Just a little park run today, actually.
That is, if Carrie can keep up.
939
00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:32,932
(LAUGHING)
940
00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:34,726
(LAUGHING)
941
00:46:34,750 --> 00:46:38,396
Yeah, if Carrie can... That's... You are...
Ethan's funny.
942
00:46:38,420 --> 00:46:42,025
You know, I was just actually saying
to a personal friend of mine
943
00:46:42,049 --> 00:46:44,360
that I don't run in a park setting enough.
944
00:46:44,384 --> 00:46:45,511
So I'll join you guys.
945
00:46:46,303 --> 00:46:47,447
Oh, okay.
946
00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:49,032
Come on.
All right. Whoo!
947
00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:51,868
Let's go. Let's go. A-let's go.
948
00:46:51,892 --> 00:46:53,519
Come on. All right.
949
00:46:55,062 --> 00:46:57,397
Uh... (CHUCKLES) Good one, Noah.
950
00:47:13,413 --> 00:47:16,518
Oh, God. Oh.
These pants are not breathable.
951
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:18,895
(CARRIE LAUGHS)
AVERY: Ethan, you're barely sweating.
952
00:47:18,919 --> 00:47:20,128
(SIGHS)
953
00:47:21,380 --> 00:47:24,859
Yo. Yo. Hey, Ethan.
954
00:47:24,883 --> 00:47:28,071
I'm thinking we should get
to know each other a little better, right?
955
00:47:28,095 --> 00:47:29,906
You're probably married with kids now?
956
00:47:29,930 --> 00:47:32,391
Uh, single.
Actually, just got out of a relationship.
957
00:47:32,849 --> 00:47:34,786
You and Stacy broke up. I'm so sorry.
958
00:47:34,810 --> 00:47:37,521
Man, she... she seemed like the one.
That's too bad.
959
00:47:38,105 --> 00:47:39,290
(CHUCKLES)
960
00:47:39,314 --> 00:47:40,959
(PANTING)
Are you okay?
961
00:47:40,983 --> 00:47:43,253
We can slow down
or take a break if you need to.
962
00:47:43,277 --> 00:47:45,088
I don't need a break.
You might need a break.
963
00:47:45,112 --> 00:47:48,466
In fact, I was thinking let's...
Let's get physical! Yeah!
964
00:47:48,490 --> 00:47:50,677
Okay. Diggin' the energy. Let's go.
965
00:47:50,701 --> 00:47:53,620
All right. Now we're talking.
Let's, uh, hurdle this thing.
966
00:47:54,204 --> 00:47:56,641
Whoo. Yeah. (GRUNTS)
967
00:47:56,665 --> 00:47:58,893
Good idea, Noah. Try some harder ones.
968
00:47:58,917 --> 00:48:01,062
We're going harder.
We're gonna do a harder one.
969
00:48:01,086 --> 00:48:03,022
Yeah, okay. All right!
970
00:48:03,046 --> 00:48:04,607
Watch the ankles.
971
00:48:04,631 --> 00:48:05,591
AVERY: Okay.
972
00:48:06,091 --> 00:48:07,485
CARRIE: Here we go. Whoo!
973
00:48:07,509 --> 00:48:08,861
AVERY: Yeah.
974
00:48:08,885 --> 00:48:11,114
(GRUNTING) Aaah. Aaah!
975
00:48:11,138 --> 00:48:13,700
Quickly! Quickly! Quickly!
CARRIE: Right behind you.
976
00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:14,784
(AVERY LAUGHS)
(PANTING)
977
00:48:14,808 --> 00:48:17,412
CARRIE: Ethan, you have so much energy.
978
00:48:17,436 --> 00:48:18,830
(GROANS)
979
00:48:18,854 --> 00:48:21,148
Stepping it up on this one.
All right.
980
00:48:22,232 --> 00:48:23,984
Whoo!
Yep.
981
00:48:26,111 --> 00:48:27,529
Oh! (GRUNTS)
982
00:48:28,113 --> 00:48:29,757
Oh! (GROANS)
983
00:48:29,781 --> 00:48:31,509
Yeah. Oh, that hurt.
984
00:48:31,533 --> 00:48:32,927
Oh, yeah.
985
00:48:32,951 --> 00:48:35,120
Oh, I think I'm gonna need
some face stitches.
986
00:48:35,621 --> 00:48:37,724
Are you sure?
Just looks like a little scrape.
987
00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:40,685
I-I feel like it's...
It's worse than just a scrape.
988
00:48:40,709 --> 00:48:44,480
I think you and Carrie should just
go ahead without me, and Avery and I...
989
00:48:44,504 --> 00:48:45,773
Actually, it's not that bad.
990
00:48:45,797 --> 00:48:49,235
If you guys wanna keep going,
I have a first aid kit in my truck.
991
00:48:49,259 --> 00:48:51,529
I'll make sure he doesn't bleed out.
Okay.
992
00:48:51,553 --> 00:48:53,197
Thanks, Carrie. Feel better, all right?
993
00:48:53,221 --> 00:48:54,848
Yeah, feel better.
Ice it.
994
00:48:55,724 --> 00:48:57,493
Okay.
Thank you.
995
00:48:57,517 --> 00:48:59,412
Come on.
(GRUNTS)
996
00:48:59,436 --> 00:49:01,706
Look. Look what's happening. Right now.
997
00:49:01,730 --> 00:49:05,209
She's escaping with him, and she...
She hates me.
998
00:49:05,233 --> 00:49:06,878
She doesn't “hate you” hate you.
999
00:49:06,902 --> 00:49:08,963
You're one of those guys
girls sleep with sometimes,
1000
00:49:08,987 --> 00:49:10,840
and as a result,
we wind up hating ourselves.
1001
00:49:10,864 --> 00:49:12,991
Okay. What can I do to change that?
1002
00:49:13,784 --> 00:49:15,887
You're the guy
who strolls in for a quickie,
1003
00:49:15,911 --> 00:49:17,388
then you disappear for two months.
1004
00:49:17,412 --> 00:49:19,057
What?
1005
00:49:19,081 --> 00:49:21,809
I have no control over any of this.
1006
00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:25,462
I make a decision, and then I wake up
three years later with the consequences.
1007
00:49:26,129 --> 00:49:27,297
Way to take responsibility, pal.
1008
00:49:28,590 --> 00:49:30,693
Oh, hey, look.
Look, look, look, look, look.
1009
00:49:30,717 --> 00:49:33,887
I'm just trying to be the type of guy
that Avery would want to be with.
1010
00:49:36,598 --> 00:49:38,368
Noah, if you're screwing with me,
1011
00:49:38,392 --> 00:49:40,620
I will cut your nuts off
and wear them as earrings.
1012
00:49:40,644 --> 00:49:43,397
Carrie, I am being 100 percent real.
1013
00:49:44,314 --> 00:49:45,148
Candid.
1014
00:49:45,691 --> 00:49:47,275
(CHUCKLES) You look like shit.
1015
00:49:51,905 --> 00:49:54,199
So you're saying
you're in love with Avery?
1016
00:49:55,158 --> 00:49:56,702
No, dude, just no.
1017
00:49:57,536 --> 00:49:59,413
What do you mean, “No, just no”?
1018
00:50:00,122 --> 00:50:03,267
Okay, all due respect, I'm pretty sure
the closest you've been to love
1019
00:50:03,291 --> 00:50:05,812
is taking photos of strangers at weddings.
1020
00:50:05,836 --> 00:50:08,272
Oh, yeah? Well, you drink coffee
with whipped cream in it,
1021
00:50:08,296 --> 00:50:10,215
so I can't take
anything you say seriously.
1022
00:50:12,467 --> 00:50:14,112
It's comforting me.
1023
00:50:14,136 --> 00:50:16,989
And I know emotions don't penetrate you,
1024
00:50:17,013 --> 00:50:19,117
so you wouldn't understand how this feels.
1025
00:50:19,141 --> 00:50:21,577
It's not like I've never had
my heart broken before.
1026
00:50:21,601 --> 00:50:23,287
Well, I have a hard time believing that,
1027
00:50:23,311 --> 00:50:26,189
because every time we've talked,
you've been pretty impenetrable.
1028
00:50:26,690 --> 00:50:27,667
Really?
Mm-hmm.
1029
00:50:27,691 --> 00:50:30,318
Because this is easily
the longest conversation we've ever had.
1030
00:50:32,028 --> 00:50:33,715
Let's just say I learned to...
1031
00:50:33,739 --> 00:50:34,948
What, move on?
1032
00:50:36,074 --> 00:50:37,593
Yeah. Something like that.
1033
00:50:37,617 --> 00:50:41,764
I mean, there has to be a way that
I could prove I'm as good as Ethan is.
1034
00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:43,433
Those two are just buds.
1035
00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:44,934
Right. Yeah, buds.
1036
00:50:44,958 --> 00:50:48,229
Because I've been love-blocking them
since the second we met.
1037
00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:49,731
They're like love magnets,
1038
00:50:49,755 --> 00:50:52,567
and no matter what happens,
they're gonna smash into each other
1039
00:50:52,591 --> 00:50:54,861
over and over and over and over.
1040
00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:57,363
Okay, I get it.
You're extremely threatened by Ethan.
1041
00:50:57,387 --> 00:50:58,740
He's stable, he's secure.
1042
00:50:58,764 --> 00:51:01,367
As long as I've known Avery,
she's been driven,
1043
00:51:01,391 --> 00:51:04,620
but, yeah, she wants the home
with the white picket fence, family.
1044
00:51:04,644 --> 00:51:07,165
She's a sucker for all that.
It's not really my thing.
1045
00:51:07,189 --> 00:51:09,274
You're absolutely right. Yes.
1046
00:51:09,941 --> 00:51:12,044
I have to be that guy.
1047
00:51:12,068 --> 00:51:14,964
It makes... It makes perfect sense.
1048
00:51:14,988 --> 00:51:17,008
She wants someone to build a future with,
1049
00:51:17,032 --> 00:51:19,242
and that's what Ethan can give her
that I can't.
1050
00:51:21,286 --> 00:51:22,287
Yet.
1051
00:51:24,122 --> 00:51:25,683
I could totally be that guy.
1052
00:51:25,707 --> 00:51:27,685
I went to business school,
for Christ's sake.
1053
00:51:27,709 --> 00:51:28,752
(CLAPS)
1054
00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:33,608
Okay, Avery. You want something different?
1055
00:51:33,632 --> 00:51:36,760
I understand. Well, I'm about to be
the man of your dreams.
1056
00:51:41,264 --> 00:51:43,225
Come on. Let's go.
1057
00:51:44,392 --> 00:51:45,602
I'm ready.
1058
00:51:49,898 --> 00:51:51,733
(EXHALES)
1059
00:51:53,777 --> 00:51:55,403
Okay.
1060
00:51:56,696 --> 00:51:58,341
Yes.
1061
00:51:58,365 --> 00:52:00,575
Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.
1062
00:52:03,411 --> 00:52:04,597
Perfect.
1063
00:52:04,621 --> 00:52:05,622
Max?
1064
00:52:06,289 --> 00:52:07,874
I'm here for a job, my man.
1065
00:52:10,627 --> 00:52:11,854
You gorgeous son of a bitch.
1066
00:52:11,878 --> 00:52:13,356
Get in here, bro.
(LAUGHING)
1067
00:52:13,380 --> 00:52:16,609
Yes. I'm so proud of you.
I've been waiting for this so long.
1068
00:52:16,633 --> 00:52:18,778
Me and you are gonna run this place
together someday.
1069
00:52:18,802 --> 00:52:20,530
I hope so.
(COSTIGAN) Max.
1070
00:52:20,554 --> 00:52:22,573
Go get my lettuce cups already.
1071
00:52:22,597 --> 00:52:24,784
All right. Right away, Sir.
1072
00:52:24,808 --> 00:52:26,702
Okay, no. You handle the mail.
1073
00:52:26,726 --> 00:52:29,747
Turn in my résumé.
I'll go get the lettuce cups, okay?
1074
00:52:29,771 --> 00:52:30,981
All right. Thanks, buddy.
1075
00:52:32,232 --> 00:52:34,544
Also, real quick. What are lettuce cups?
1076
00:52:34,568 --> 00:52:36,462
Uh, it's lettuce
but in the shape of a cup.
1077
00:52:36,486 --> 00:52:37,755
Okay.
1078
00:52:37,779 --> 00:52:39,465
No, no Hulk smashing.
1079
00:52:39,489 --> 00:52:41,092
Hulk smash.
No more smashing.
1080
00:52:41,116 --> 00:52:43,410
Hulk sitting. That's what Hulkie's doing.
1081
00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:47,163
Okay, let's get this good stuff in ya.
1082
00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:52,061
Let's get you hydrated before you barrel
into a crowd full of innocent strangers.
1083
00:52:52,085 --> 00:52:53,479
Okay? There you go.
1084
00:52:53,503 --> 00:52:55,481
Hulk drink.
Yes, Hulk drink.
1085
00:52:55,505 --> 00:52:57,299
Good Hulk. Doing good, Hulk.
1086
00:52:57,966 --> 00:53:01,654
There he is.
Best costume of the party award.
1087
00:53:01,678 --> 00:53:04,156
Angus Young? AC/DC?
1088
00:53:04,180 --> 00:53:07,201
You just made my night complete.
1089
00:53:07,225 --> 00:53:09,769
(LAUGHS) Thank you so much.
1090
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:12,832
For those about to rock,
1091
00:53:12,856 --> 00:53:14,733
we salute you.
1092
00:53:15,775 --> 00:53:19,672
Thank you so much for this.
Best Halloween ever!
1093
00:53:19,696 --> 00:53:21,990
Yes, it is.
Oh, you're still doing that walk.
1094
00:53:22,866 --> 00:53:24,135
Very good. Right?
1095
00:53:24,159 --> 00:53:26,971
So this is all anyone really wants, right?
1096
00:53:26,995 --> 00:53:29,581
Someone to support and take care of them.
1097
00:53:30,081 --> 00:53:33,436
Someone secure who's also, like...
Like a mythically nice person
1098
00:53:33,460 --> 00:53:35,938
to be the rock in their time of need.
1099
00:53:35,962 --> 00:53:36,856
Right?
1100
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:39,049
There she is.
There's that girl I was telling you about.
1101
00:53:44,346 --> 00:53:45,615
Dottie Hinson.
1102
00:53:45,639 --> 00:53:48,326
They're calling your name. You're on deck.
1103
00:53:48,350 --> 00:53:50,077
Oh, am I?
Mm-hmm.
1104
00:53:50,101 --> 00:53:53,831
You are a patriotic toddler?
1105
00:53:53,855 --> 00:53:55,541
I am the American dream.
1106
00:53:55,565 --> 00:53:57,901
(SNORING)
(LAUGHING)
1107
00:53:58,693 --> 00:53:59,879
Are you?
1108
00:53:59,903 --> 00:54:01,488
Okay. I like that.
Hey.
1109
00:54:02,238 --> 00:54:05,593
Do you wanna hang out
and then get a house in the suburbs,
1110
00:54:05,617 --> 00:54:08,304
adopt a golden retriever,
have 2.8 kids together?
1111
00:54:08,328 --> 00:54:11,098
(CLICKS TONGUE) I mean, I do like dogs.
1112
00:54:11,122 --> 00:54:14,310
Maybe we should get a drink first.
That's probably a good place to start.
1113
00:54:14,334 --> 00:54:15,227
Yeah.
1114
00:54:15,251 --> 00:54:17,087
(PIANO PLAYING)
1115
00:54:22,509 --> 00:54:23,819
Excuse me.
1116
00:54:23,843 --> 00:54:25,887
NOAH: Garçon.
Hey, Noah.
1117
00:54:26,388 --> 00:54:28,783
We'd like to order
your most expensive bottle of wine.
1118
00:54:28,807 --> 00:54:31,410
Ooh, you're fancy.
Mm-hmm.
1119
00:54:31,434 --> 00:54:33,311
Noah, that's a $500 bottle of wine, dude.
1120
00:54:37,273 --> 00:54:41,921
(STAMMERS) Then we would like your most
reasonably priced bottle of wine.
1121
00:54:41,945 --> 00:54:43,822
(LAUGHS)
So $95?
1122
00:54:47,117 --> 00:54:49,220
Yeah. Uh-huh. Yes.
1123
00:54:49,244 --> 00:54:51,430
That's perfect.
Coming right up.
1124
00:54:51,454 --> 00:54:53,516
(SIGHS) This is really nice.
1125
00:54:53,540 --> 00:54:56,352
You just think this is “nice”?
Yeah.
1126
00:54:56,376 --> 00:54:59,480
This is gonna be one of the best nights
of your life.
1127
00:54:59,504 --> 00:55:01,232
I can deal with best night of my life.
1128
00:55:01,256 --> 00:55:03,425
And it's starting right now.
1129
00:55:05,301 --> 00:55:06,862
(SONG ENDS)
1130
00:55:06,886 --> 00:55:08,072
WOMAN: Whoo!
1131
00:55:08,096 --> 00:55:09,156
(MOUTHS) Thank you.
1132
00:55:09,180 --> 00:55:10,432
All right. That was good.
1133
00:55:11,933 --> 00:55:14,996
Right now we're gonna dedicate
this next tune to my main man, Noah,
1134
00:55:15,020 --> 00:55:17,897
and his beautiful,
lovely new lady friend, Avery.
1135
00:55:19,524 --> 00:55:21,043
How did he know your name?
Noah.
1136
00:55:21,067 --> 00:55:24,130
What did you do?
We're gonna miss you around here, bro.
1137
00:55:24,154 --> 00:55:26,823
This entire evening is dedicated to you.
1138
00:55:27,907 --> 00:55:30,136
(PIANO INTRO)
1139
00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:32,388
You like Count Basie?
I do. I love him.
1140
00:55:32,412 --> 00:55:35,683
Luckily,
that's basically all that Danny knows.
1141
00:55:35,707 --> 00:55:39,502
So what did he mean when he said
that they're gonna miss you?
1142
00:55:40,003 --> 00:55:42,565
I used to work here.
Oh, you did?
1143
00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:44,734
Yeah, that piano bench right there,
1144
00:55:44,758 --> 00:55:48,511
it's still warm to the touch
from my butt cheeks.
1145
00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:52,742
I got a hot butt.
I don't know if you know that or not.
1146
00:55:52,766 --> 00:55:55,161
No, not yet.
You check it out?
1147
00:55:55,185 --> 00:55:58,372
Why would you quit though?
This place is amazing.
1148
00:55:58,396 --> 00:56:01,709
I'm just taking
an extended leave of absence
1149
00:56:01,733 --> 00:56:03,836
to live a more grown-up life.
1150
00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:05,755
Oh. So, like, boring?
1151
00:56:05,779 --> 00:56:08,299
I'm wearing
a red, white and blue onesie right now.
1152
00:56:08,323 --> 00:56:11,659
Do I look like the kind of guy
that would aspire to live a boring life?
1153
00:56:13,119 --> 00:56:15,014
No. (LAUGHS)
1154
00:56:15,038 --> 00:56:16,307
Very not boring.
1155
00:56:16,331 --> 00:56:19,334
(PIANO CONTINUES)
1156
00:56:27,759 --> 00:56:29,761
(ALARM BEEPING)
1157
00:56:39,938 --> 00:56:41,439
What the hell?
1158
00:56:43,358 --> 00:56:44,460
What?
1159
00:56:44,484 --> 00:56:45,777
What, am I fat?
1160
00:56:46,569 --> 00:56:49,155
I'm fat now. Great. I'm fat now.
1161
00:56:49,864 --> 00:56:51,199
Great, I'm fat!
1162
00:56:51,783 --> 00:56:53,576
This is all working out, isn't it?
1163
00:56:57,914 --> 00:56:58,998
(CHUCKLES)
1164
00:57:00,625 --> 00:57:02,627
Ohh...
1165
00:57:04,212 --> 00:57:06,464
It's comfort weight. (LAUGHS)
1166
00:57:12,512 --> 00:57:13,572
Oh!
1167
00:57:13,596 --> 00:57:16,492
Noah, you're a boss.
1168
00:57:16,516 --> 00:57:18,184
You have arrived.
1169
00:57:19,102 --> 00:57:20,395
Hi, Mr. Noah.
1170
00:57:21,396 --> 00:57:23,707
Hey, babe, you're up.
1171
00:57:23,731 --> 00:57:25,543
I'm way up. I am so up.
1172
00:57:25,567 --> 00:57:27,128
I missed you last night.
1173
00:57:27,152 --> 00:57:30,155
Oh, that is so, so good to hear.
1174
00:57:31,030 --> 00:57:32,157
Mmm.
1175
00:57:34,534 --> 00:57:36,971
You want some breakfast?
I would love some.
1176
00:57:36,995 --> 00:57:37,912
Okay.
1177
00:57:38,913 --> 00:57:40,224
Oh.
1178
00:57:40,248 --> 00:57:42,560
I love our house. It's awesome.
1179
00:57:42,584 --> 00:57:45,229
It's large, you know, yet kind of cozy.
1180
00:57:45,253 --> 00:57:48,691
And obviously I'm wealthy, but this is
tastefully decorated. It's not gaudy.
1181
00:57:48,715 --> 00:57:50,967
Are you okay? You're acting weird.
1182
00:57:51,551 --> 00:57:53,446
Oh, I'm okay. I've never felt better.
1183
00:57:53,470 --> 00:57:55,472
(GASPS) Oh, I almost forgot.
1184
00:57:57,223 --> 00:57:59,893
Look what came
just in time for the party tonight.
1185
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:01,561
Okay.
1186
00:58:03,730 --> 00:58:06,667
What do you think? Too cheesy?
1187
00:58:06,691 --> 00:58:07,692
(SNICKERS)
1188
00:58:08,818 --> 00:58:11,213
That is the most beautiful plate
I've ever seen.
1189
00:58:11,237 --> 00:58:14,300
I love it. You're big-spooning me.
It's perfect.
1190
00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:16,760
And I love the message too. “Forever”?
1191
00:58:16,784 --> 00:58:20,014
Oh, my God! Look at this ring!
1192
00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:22,040
Oh, what?
1193
00:58:22,540 --> 00:58:23,625
I'm, like...
1194
00:58:24,125 --> 00:58:25,769
I'm a rich dude.
1195
00:58:25,793 --> 00:58:28,355
I know.
Oh, I am good to you, huh?
1196
00:58:28,379 --> 00:58:29,690
Come in here.
Okay.
1197
00:58:29,714 --> 00:58:31,400
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
1198
00:58:31,424 --> 00:58:33,885
Oh, come on. Mom! Dad!
1199
00:58:35,470 --> 00:58:37,948
Carrie. What are you doing here?
1200
00:58:37,972 --> 00:58:41,160
Well, I'm not trying to win house guest
of the year or anything,
1201
00:58:41,184 --> 00:58:43,454
but I did pick up your engagement photos
from the lab.
1202
00:58:43,478 --> 00:58:45,748
Ooh.
She's a... You're a house guest.
1203
00:58:45,772 --> 00:58:49,001
She lives here with us.
You're our house guest. Okay.
1204
00:58:49,025 --> 00:58:50,026
Oh, well...
1205
00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:52,880
not for very long.
1206
00:58:52,904 --> 00:58:53,797
Okay.
1207
00:58:53,821 --> 00:58:57,009
I kind of have some really,
really exciting news.
1208
00:58:57,033 --> 00:58:59,595
Not to one-up you,
but my gallery showing was last night,
1209
00:58:59,619 --> 00:59:03,057
and I sold my entire collection of photos.
1210
00:59:03,081 --> 00:59:04,600
That is so exciting.
Wow.
1211
00:59:04,624 --> 00:59:06,352
Congratulations.
That is huge.
1212
00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:07,603
What will I do without you?
1213
00:59:07,627 --> 00:59:10,731
This house gets so creepy
when Noah's traveling and I'm home alone.
1214
00:59:10,755 --> 00:59:13,025
(CHUCKLES) What? No.
1215
00:59:13,049 --> 00:59:14,860
No, it's not creepy.
1216
00:59:14,884 --> 00:59:16,987
And no one's gonna feel alone.
Not in this house.
1217
00:59:17,011 --> 00:59:19,740
You know what?
You could stay here as long as you want.
1218
00:59:19,764 --> 00:59:21,599
If it makes Avery happy,
it makes me happy.
1219
00:59:22,684 --> 00:59:25,687
Mmm! Goddamn, that coffee is good!
1220
00:59:29,607 --> 00:59:31,109
(CHORTLING)
1221
00:59:32,068 --> 00:59:34,964
Oh, my God.
1222
00:59:34,988 --> 00:59:36,131
(CAR ALARM CHIRPS)
1223
00:59:36,155 --> 00:59:38,968
This is my favorite car.
This is my, like, all-time fav...
1224
00:59:38,992 --> 00:59:41,286
Of course I would have this car.
It makes perfect sense.
1225
00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:43,246
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
1226
00:59:44,330 --> 00:59:47,560
(ENGINE STARTS, REVS)
1227
00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:50,646
Uh-oh, that dog's barkin'.
That dog is a-barkin'.
1228
00:59:50,670 --> 00:59:52,898
(BARKING)
Right.
1229
00:59:52,922 --> 00:59:55,317
So you're gonna be home
on time today, right?
1230
00:59:55,341 --> 00:59:57,987
For the party? Of course. Yes.
I'm excited.
1231
00:59:58,011 --> 00:59:59,554
This is a big deal for us.
Yeah.
1232
01:00:00,221 --> 01:00:02,223
Let's make some memories. Right?
(PHONE CHIMING)
1233
01:00:03,474 --> 01:00:05,310
Sorry about this. 7:30 in the morning.
1234
01:00:06,060 --> 01:00:07,663
Yeah, here. Don't forget this one.
1235
01:00:07,687 --> 01:00:10,040
You left it on your nightstand.
I have two phones.
1236
01:00:10,064 --> 01:00:11,250
I know. (CLICKS TONGUE)
1237
01:00:11,274 --> 01:00:13,043
(CHIMING CONTINUES)
No, decli... All right.
1238
01:00:13,067 --> 01:00:14,920
Now this one. Okay.
Incoming call from...
1239
01:00:14,944 --> 01:00:16,463
No, thanks.
(PHONE CHIMES)
1240
01:00:16,487 --> 01:00:18,132
Sorry. Uh...
(CAR COMM SYSTEM BEEPING)
1241
01:00:18,156 --> 01:00:20,617
Incoming call from work.
No, I don't wanna answer.
1242
01:00:21,701 --> 01:00:23,846
Where's the button to...
Incoming call from work.
1243
01:00:23,870 --> 01:00:25,764
I don't know how to... No, thank you.
1244
01:00:25,788 --> 01:00:28,249
Incoming call from...
Decline the call!
1245
01:00:31,836 --> 01:00:33,897
(WHISTLING)
1246
01:00:33,921 --> 01:00:37,425
(PHONES RINGING)
1247
01:00:40,762 --> 01:00:42,930
Hello? Anyone here?
1248
01:00:46,517 --> 01:00:48,162
Someone tell me where I sit?
1249
01:00:48,186 --> 01:00:49,812
(RINGING CONTINUES)
1250
01:00:51,606 --> 01:00:53,358
What the...? Okay.
1251
01:00:54,150 --> 01:00:56,837
Hello?
Surprise!
1252
01:00:56,861 --> 01:00:58,547
Congratulations, Noah.
1253
01:00:58,571 --> 01:01:00,633
Ever since your first day as an assistant,
1254
01:01:00,657 --> 01:01:03,344
no one has worked harder
or wanted it more.
1255
01:01:03,368 --> 01:01:05,012
Son, you've earned this.
1256
01:01:05,036 --> 01:01:07,121
Earned what exactly?
This.
1257
01:01:08,790 --> 01:01:12,144
Your new office,
Mr. Senior Vice President.
1258
01:01:12,168 --> 01:01:13,670
This is my office, huh?
1259
01:01:14,420 --> 01:01:18,299
Mr. Chun came from Shanghai
specifically to be here for this.
1260
01:01:19,384 --> 01:01:22,011
(IN MANDARIN) Congratulations, Mr. Ashby.
This is great news.
1261
01:01:24,389 --> 01:01:27,350
With our biggest accounts,
your success is our success.
1262
01:01:28,393 --> 01:01:29,769
It's a ton of Chinese.
1263
01:01:33,022 --> 01:01:34,857
(IN MANDARIN) Thank you so much.
1264
01:01:36,275 --> 01:01:37,527
I speak Chinese?!
1265
01:01:38,778 --> 01:01:40,029
That's so cool!
1266
01:01:41,739 --> 01:01:43,449
I don't even know what I'm saying.
1267
01:01:44,325 --> 01:01:48,305
Well, according to most prognosticators,
1268
01:01:48,329 --> 01:01:52,643
with our large-cap portfolios
outperforming this bear market...
1269
01:01:52,667 --> 01:01:54,728
What is Mandarin for
“Get a room, you two”?
1270
01:01:54,752 --> 01:01:56,254
(LAUGHING)
1271
01:01:56,921 --> 01:02:01,318
It should elicit fortuitous returns.
1272
01:02:01,342 --> 01:02:02,593
Absolutely right.
1273
01:02:03,010 --> 01:02:04,405
Whoo. (CHUCKLES)
1274
01:02:04,429 --> 01:02:07,616
Holy shit! I know some big ass words!
1275
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,350
(LAUGHING)
1276
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:13,872
I don't know what you said.
Yes. You seem happy.
1277
01:02:13,896 --> 01:02:15,249
He's so awesome!
1278
01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:17,042
So I'm happy. Is this kid great?
1279
01:02:17,066 --> 01:02:19,878
Let me give you a tour of the place,
Mr. Chun. Show you under the hood?
1280
01:02:19,902 --> 01:02:21,380
All-star.
(IN ENGLISH) Thank you.
1281
01:02:21,404 --> 01:02:23,006
Thanks a lot, Terrence.
1282
01:02:23,030 --> 01:02:26,468
Thanks a lot, Darryl. Bill.
I know your names. Big Jeff.
1283
01:02:26,492 --> 01:02:29,746
Little Tony. Hey, Claudette. Rob. Carl.
1284
01:02:30,455 --> 01:02:32,415
Thank you, Courtney.
So great.
1285
01:02:32,874 --> 01:02:35,436
Sharon. She's got a sick kid.
I feel bad for her.
1286
01:02:35,460 --> 01:02:37,688
I don't know how I know that.
I know everyone's name.
1287
01:02:37,712 --> 01:02:41,066
Max! What's up, my man? Whoo. We did it.
1288
01:02:41,090 --> 01:02:43,569
Yeah, “we.” Did it. Yeah.
1289
01:02:43,593 --> 01:02:45,195
Yes, we did.
(CHUCKLES)
1290
01:02:45,219 --> 01:02:48,407
Do you mind if I steal you from the parade
and talk to you real quick?
1291
01:02:48,431 --> 01:02:50,117
Uh, yeah, sure. Come on.
1292
01:02:50,141 --> 01:02:51,827
Welcome to Noah's lair.
1293
01:02:51,851 --> 01:02:54,103
Ooh, this is sweet, dude.
1294
01:02:55,104 --> 01:02:56,105
Whoa.
1295
01:02:58,983 --> 01:03:02,004
Look what we got here.
Mr. Senior Vice President.
1296
01:03:02,028 --> 01:03:03,613
May I?
You may.
1297
01:03:05,114 --> 01:03:07,384
Ah.
This is cool, right?
1298
01:03:07,408 --> 01:03:10,471
I... am accomplished.
1299
01:03:10,495 --> 01:03:12,181
Yeah.
It's pretty incredible.
1300
01:03:12,205 --> 01:03:13,372
Mm-hmm.
That's cool.
1301
01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:17,978
Are you okay?
Hey, do me a favor.
1302
01:03:18,002 --> 01:03:20,314
Can you look at this on my back for me?
Sure.
1303
01:03:20,338 --> 01:03:23,609
What am I looking for? That mole?
Yeah, I'd get that checked out.
1304
01:03:23,633 --> 01:03:25,903
No, look for the knife
you stabbed me in the back with
1305
01:03:25,927 --> 01:03:27,196
when you stole my promotion.
1306
01:03:27,220 --> 01:03:30,616
I've been busting my ass
for three years trying to get this.
1307
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:33,142
This has been my plan, Noah. It's my plan.
1308
01:03:34,185 --> 01:03:36,163
What are you talking about?
(CHUCKLES)
1309
01:03:36,187 --> 01:03:37,247
That's good.
1310
01:03:37,271 --> 01:03:40,959
Play dumb and act like it wasn't me
who got you a job here in the first place.
1311
01:03:40,983 --> 01:03:43,212
Me who doctored
your pathetic little résumé.
1312
01:03:43,236 --> 01:03:45,506
I literally begged Costigan
to hire you here.
1313
01:03:45,530 --> 01:03:48,759
Okay. Then there has to be
something that I could do.
1314
01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:50,803
You know? I'm the senior VP.
1315
01:03:50,827 --> 01:03:52,513
You're my best friend...
“Friend”?
1316
01:03:52,537 --> 01:03:54,598
(LAUGHS) No, no, no, no.
1317
01:03:54,622 --> 01:03:58,477
We haven't been friends for years.
You used to be chill, really cool.
1318
01:03:58,501 --> 01:04:01,605
And then you turned into
a corporate ass-kissing piece of shit!
1319
01:04:01,629 --> 01:04:04,006
So we're what? Enemies?
1320
01:04:05,216 --> 01:04:06,300
Fuck you.
1321
01:04:10,137 --> 01:04:11,698
Oh, uh, can I borrow your pen?
1322
01:04:11,722 --> 01:04:12,974
Yeah.
1323
01:04:17,228 --> 01:04:19,522
(CHUCKLES) I'll leave you two.
1324
01:04:21,107 --> 01:04:22,191
I lied.
1325
01:04:31,409 --> 01:04:32,910
(PHONE RINGING)
1326
01:04:34,871 --> 01:04:35,872
Oh, my God.
1327
01:04:37,582 --> 01:04:39,208
It's just from stress eating.
1328
01:04:42,503 --> 01:04:47,067
Oh. Um, sorry to bother you, Sir,
but you shouldn't be in here right now.
1329
01:04:47,091 --> 01:04:49,760
You're 20 minutes late
for the meeting with the Avalon execs.
1330
01:04:50,428 --> 01:04:53,240
You know what? I think... (SMACKS LIPS)
1331
01:04:53,264 --> 01:04:56,159
I am gonna need an hour of personal time.
1332
01:04:56,183 --> 01:04:57,911
Thank you.
Uh, it's...
1333
01:04:57,935 --> 01:04:59,246
(CHUCKLES) That's impossible.
1334
01:04:59,270 --> 01:05:02,457
Closing this deal will pay for
your wedding and your honeymoon in Fiji.
1335
01:05:02,481 --> 01:05:04,418
I'm gonna go to Fiji with Avery?
1336
01:05:04,442 --> 01:05:07,546
That would be pretty awesome.
When will this meeting be over with?
1337
01:05:07,570 --> 01:05:08,797
In an hour.
Good.
1338
01:05:08,821 --> 01:05:11,842
Then you have your flight to Charlotte.
I'm going to North Carolina today?
1339
01:05:11,866 --> 01:05:13,969
You return late afternoon,
and then you prep for...
1340
01:05:13,993 --> 01:05:16,263
Just let me see that. What is this?
1341
01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:19,474
It says that I'm booked every day
for the next three months.
1342
01:05:19,498 --> 01:05:23,770
What if I bailed on that business trip
and took a very well-deserved half day?
1343
01:05:23,794 --> 01:05:27,900
Sir, no. You would be fired instantly.
Seriously, do not do that.
1344
01:05:27,924 --> 01:05:30,485
Remember Davis? He's homeless now.
1345
01:05:30,509 --> 01:05:33,405
I drive by his tent
on the way to work every day.
1346
01:05:33,429 --> 01:05:37,934
It's kind of cute. He's got his dog
out there and everything, but... (LAUGHS)
1347
01:05:38,684 --> 01:05:41,538
Anyways, congrats on your engagement.
You're a lucky man.
1348
01:05:41,562 --> 01:05:44,875
I'd like to go over a couple of quick
scheduling changes that you've got.
1349
01:05:44,899 --> 01:05:46,251
Omaha on the 15th...
1350
01:05:46,275 --> 01:05:48,277
(CHATTERING)
1351
01:05:49,445 --> 01:05:50,988
(CLASSICAL PIANO PLAYING)
1352
01:05:52,657 --> 01:05:54,217
I made it. I made it.
1353
01:05:54,241 --> 01:05:56,762
So, sorry I'm late.
Have you guys seen Avery?
1354
01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:58,555
Sorry I'm late. Have you seen...?
1355
01:05:58,579 --> 01:06:01,183
Those snacks look good,
but I can't have any.
1356
01:06:01,207 --> 01:06:04,210
I'm putting myself on a diet.
Have you guys seen Avery at all?
1357
01:06:04,752 --> 01:06:07,022
Avery's parents. Really nice to meet you.
1358
01:06:07,046 --> 01:06:08,106
Meet us?
Again.
1359
01:06:08,130 --> 01:06:11,360
Nice to... It's good to see you.
Honestly, it's good to see you.
1360
01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:14,112
Cousin Shannon.
Wow, you do look like Garth.
1361
01:06:14,136 --> 01:06:15,364
I could tell.
1362
01:06:15,388 --> 01:06:16,889
Thank you.
(APPLAUSE)
1363
01:06:18,432 --> 01:06:20,518
Wow. Okay.
1364
01:06:21,227 --> 01:06:26,333
Well, now that I have your attention,
if anyone has seen my beautiful fiancée,
1365
01:06:26,357 --> 01:06:31,296
please let her know that her presence
is requested at the piano,
1366
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:33,298
where I would like to kick things off
1367
01:06:33,322 --> 01:06:36,176
with a song that I played for Avery
on the night we first met.
1368
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:38,011
Ohhh.
1369
01:06:38,035 --> 01:06:39,704
I used to do this for a living.
1370
01:06:41,205 --> 01:06:46,269
♪ Well ♪
1371
01:06:46,293 --> 01:06:47,980
♪ Well, you make me wanna shout ♪
1372
01:06:48,004 --> 01:06:49,755
(PLAYS WRONG NOTES)
♪ Shout ♪
1373
01:06:51,340 --> 01:06:54,152
That's not how the song goes at all,
so let's try that again.
1374
01:06:54,176 --> 01:06:56,363
Is the piano out of tune? Something...
1375
01:06:56,387 --> 01:06:59,265
All right. A-one more time! Hit it!
1376
01:06:59,765 --> 01:07:02,744
♪ Well ♪
1377
01:07:02,768 --> 01:07:04,246
♪ You know you make me wanna... ♪
1378
01:07:04,270 --> 01:07:06,039
(PLAYS WRONG NOTES)
♪ You know ♪
1379
01:07:06,063 --> 01:07:07,207
♪ You know you... ♪
1380
01:07:07,231 --> 01:07:09,209
I, uh, must be rusty.
1381
01:07:09,233 --> 01:07:11,610
But, you know, the jet lag is kicking in.
1382
01:07:12,278 --> 01:07:16,299
As soon as Avery joins the duet,
I feel that I will have my groove back.
1383
01:07:16,323 --> 01:07:18,451
Has anyone seen Avery, by the way?
1384
01:07:19,243 --> 01:07:20,286
Hey, dude.
1385
01:07:21,078 --> 01:07:23,140
That was beautiful.
Thank you.
1386
01:07:23,164 --> 01:07:24,933
I don't believe when you say that.
Good.
1387
01:07:24,957 --> 01:07:27,477
Been a while since I've played.
Have you seen Avery anywhere?
1388
01:07:27,501 --> 01:07:28,627
She's with Ethan.
1389
01:07:29,336 --> 01:07:30,504
What?
1390
01:07:31,505 --> 01:07:33,400
Holy shit. What happened to him?
1391
01:07:33,424 --> 01:07:36,385
We think it might have been the taquitos.
Right, Ethan?
1392
01:07:37,178 --> 01:07:38,864
So what happened? (SIGHS)
1393
01:07:38,888 --> 01:07:42,200
Did your flight get delayed,
or did you hit traffic?
1394
01:07:42,224 --> 01:07:45,037
I am so sorry.
I truly tried to get here as fast as...
1395
01:07:45,061 --> 01:07:46,913
Okay, why is he here exactly?
1396
01:07:46,937 --> 01:07:48,999
I'm-I'm leaving anyway.
1397
01:07:49,023 --> 01:07:52,627
Um, don't eat the taquitos
or seven-layer dip.
1398
01:07:52,651 --> 01:07:55,756
Poor thing, wait. You wanna lay down
on our bed for a minute?
1399
01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:58,467
I think he wants to probably lay down
in his own bed.
1400
01:07:58,491 --> 01:08:00,218
Here. Here you go, big guy.
1401
01:08:00,242 --> 01:08:02,554
We'll get you some fresh air,
some Pepto chewables.
1402
01:08:02,578 --> 01:08:04,806
I have 'em in the glove compartment,
so I'll take him.
1403
01:08:04,830 --> 01:08:08,101
Are you sure? But you just got here.
I'm sure everybody wants to say hi.
1404
01:08:08,125 --> 01:08:10,353
Maybe Carrie can take him home.
It'll be quick.
1405
01:08:10,377 --> 01:08:12,713
So... You look so good, by the way.
Thank you.
1406
01:08:13,422 --> 01:08:15,966
Thanks.
I love you so much.
1407
01:08:24,350 --> 01:08:26,852
Okay. Let's go ahead and get you home.
1408
01:08:27,603 --> 01:08:28,813
Forever.
1409
01:08:33,734 --> 01:08:35,486
Please don't puke in my back seat.
1410
01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:41,117
Um...
1411
01:08:41,992 --> 01:08:43,553
Look, I'm sorry. I'm...
1412
01:08:43,577 --> 01:08:46,389
I mean,
those taquitos are a silent killer.
1413
01:08:46,413 --> 01:08:48,934
No. No, it wasn't the taquitos.
1414
01:08:48,958 --> 01:08:51,752
Was it the seven-layer dip?
It was...
1415
01:08:52,253 --> 01:08:55,065
Look, I made it up. Okay?
Oh, did you?
1416
01:08:55,089 --> 01:08:57,526
Because I'm a liar, okay? I'm no good.
1417
01:08:57,550 --> 01:08:59,236
I even stole a plate.
1418
01:08:59,260 --> 01:09:01,404
What kind of asshole steals a plate?
1419
01:09:01,428 --> 01:09:04,366
A beautiful plate.
I've never stolen anything in my life.
1420
01:09:04,390 --> 01:09:09,246
I don't know what's come over me.
I've just become this... terrible person.
1421
01:09:09,270 --> 01:09:10,831
You're too nice.
No.
1422
01:09:10,855 --> 01:09:12,290
If that makes sense.
1423
01:09:12,314 --> 01:09:14,167
Like, I, you know... Sometimes I'm like,
1424
01:09:14,191 --> 01:09:17,754
“Ah, Ethan. I don't really like Ethan,
because he's such a nice guy.”
1425
01:09:17,778 --> 01:09:19,297
No, I'm not. Okay?
1426
01:09:19,321 --> 01:09:22,116
I've been coveting thy neighbor's wife
in my mind.
1427
01:09:22,658 --> 01:09:25,011
Hey, not cool!
1428
01:09:25,035 --> 01:09:28,164
It isn't cool, and I would recommend
that you stop doing that.
1429
01:09:29,456 --> 01:09:31,685
I'm just gonna... I'm gonna tell you,
1430
01:09:31,709 --> 01:09:36,064
I might have told Avery
that I'm in love with her.
1431
01:09:36,088 --> 01:09:37,149
What? Oh!
1432
01:09:37,173 --> 01:09:38,608
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1433
01:09:38,632 --> 01:09:40,360
(HORNS HONKING)
Did you catch your nose?
1434
01:09:40,384 --> 01:09:42,636
Did you break your nose?
Is your face okay?
1435
01:09:43,387 --> 01:09:44,739
Look, I...
1436
01:09:44,763 --> 01:09:46,575
I deserved that.
1437
01:09:46,599 --> 01:09:48,368
Okay? I'm...
1438
01:09:48,392 --> 01:09:49,894
I'm sorry. I...
1439
01:09:50,936 --> 01:09:55,149
I know I have... I have no right
to say these things. I just...
1440
01:09:55,733 --> 01:09:57,735
Ever since I met her, I've felt like...
1441
01:09:58,235 --> 01:10:00,380
you know,
it should have been Avery and me,
1442
01:10:00,404 --> 01:10:03,073
and if I didn't tell her,
she would never know.
1443
01:10:03,657 --> 01:10:04,617
I'm sorry.
1444
01:10:09,455 --> 01:10:11,290
What did she say when you told her?
1445
01:10:12,041 --> 01:10:14,043
She said she wished things were different.
1446
01:10:14,710 --> 01:10:15,961
(ETHAN SIGHS)
1447
01:10:20,758 --> 01:10:21,759
Noah...
1448
01:10:22,259 --> 01:10:24,261
do you mind if I just have a quick...
1449
01:10:25,054 --> 01:10:28,116
Just like a... just a quick nap?
1450
01:10:28,140 --> 01:10:31,036
Just a... (INHALES)
1451
01:10:31,060 --> 01:10:32,561
(EXHALES)
1452
01:10:38,067 --> 01:10:39,151
Yeah.
1453
01:10:40,152 --> 01:10:41,445
Go ahead, buddy.
1454
01:10:51,205 --> 01:10:52,748
I'm gonna regret this.
1455
01:10:55,542 --> 01:10:56,627
CARRIE: There you are.
1456
01:10:57,336 --> 01:11:00,089
Avery texted you like ten times.
She went to bed worried.
1457
01:11:00,756 --> 01:11:02,817
Well, I've been driving around all night,
1458
01:11:02,841 --> 01:11:05,487
thinking about how I've ruined
all of our lives.
1459
01:11:05,511 --> 01:11:06,804
At least you kept it light.
1460
01:11:08,472 --> 01:11:10,266
Oh, are you okay?
1461
01:11:15,062 --> 01:11:16,647
Why doesn't Avery love me?
1462
01:11:22,236 --> 01:11:24,238
You've known this whole time, haven't you?
1463
01:11:27,491 --> 01:11:29,201
Why didn't you say anything?
1464
01:11:30,202 --> 01:11:31,704
(SIGHS) Um...
1465
01:11:36,792 --> 01:11:39,169
Noah, I know she cares about you.
1466
01:11:40,254 --> 01:11:41,463
Deeply.
1467
01:11:42,756 --> 01:11:44,591
But, no, it's...
1468
01:11:45,426 --> 01:11:46,736
It's not love.
1469
01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:49,155
(EXHALES)
1470
01:11:49,179 --> 01:11:53,576
And she'll probably do...
whatever she has to do to make it work.
1471
01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:57,271
I just think she doesn't want to f-fail.
1472
01:11:59,690 --> 01:12:02,401
Hey, it's not you. You're a good guy.
1473
01:12:03,402 --> 01:12:05,446
Sometimes relationships are about...
1474
01:12:06,947 --> 01:12:08,258
intangible things.
1475
01:12:08,282 --> 01:12:09,968
(LAUGHS)
1476
01:12:09,992 --> 01:12:11,827
Oh, yeah.
1477
01:12:13,662 --> 01:12:15,748
Yep. You've said that before.
1478
01:12:17,333 --> 01:12:18,334
I have?
1479
01:12:21,754 --> 01:12:23,881
Kinda.
(CHUCKLES)
1480
01:12:25,632 --> 01:12:27,217
I like it when we talk.
1481
01:12:28,677 --> 01:12:30,012
I like it when we talk.
1482
01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:36,161
(CARRIE LAUGHS)
But you're right.
1483
01:12:36,185 --> 01:12:38,163
Avery deserves to be happy.
1484
01:12:38,187 --> 01:12:39,080
Yeah.
1485
01:12:39,104 --> 01:12:42,375
And she should be with the right guy,
1486
01:12:42,399 --> 01:12:44,318
even though that right guy isn't me.
1487
01:12:45,152 --> 01:12:48,923
So I have to fix it.
I have to go back in time and fix it.
1488
01:12:48,947 --> 01:12:49,990
What? What?
1489
01:12:50,824 --> 01:12:51,885
(SIGHS)
Where you going?
1490
01:12:51,909 --> 01:12:52,993
To play Cupid.
1491
01:12:53,535 --> 01:12:54,536
What?
1492
01:12:55,037 --> 01:12:56,121
Okay.
1493
01:12:56,622 --> 01:12:57,706
Weird life, Noah.
1494
01:12:58,457 --> 01:13:00,292
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ I'm sexy and I know it ♪
1495
01:13:02,753 --> 01:13:04,731
NOAH: Now...
Where's the emergency?
1496
01:13:04,755 --> 01:13:06,649
It just looks like a party.
Yeah.
1497
01:13:06,673 --> 01:13:08,884
It's a... It's a party emergency.
1498
01:13:09,343 --> 01:13:11,571
Look, I know we just met.
Technically, we didn't meet.
1499
01:13:11,595 --> 01:13:13,990
You came banging on my door,
screaming you needed my help.
1500
01:13:14,014 --> 01:13:17,452
I do need your help, because tonight is
the first night of the rest of your life.
1501
01:13:17,476 --> 01:13:18,811
What?
1502
01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:21,164
NOAH: Honestly, thank you for coming.
1503
01:13:21,188 --> 01:13:23,291
This is gonna be great.
What? Wait.
1504
01:13:23,315 --> 01:13:25,794
You stay right here,
and you're gonna save the day.
1505
01:13:25,818 --> 01:13:27,879
Okay? Easy. I'll be back.
What do you mean?
1506
01:13:27,903 --> 01:13:28,963
Okay?
1507
01:13:28,987 --> 01:13:31,281
Whoo!
Hey, watch it, buddy!
1508
01:13:32,908 --> 01:13:34,386
Whoo-hoo! Whoo!
1509
01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:36,995
Hulk smash!
AVERY: Oh, my God.
1510
01:13:38,455 --> 01:13:39,665
Hi.
Hi.
1511
01:13:41,083 --> 01:13:42,769
Uh, wow, uh...
1512
01:13:42,793 --> 01:13:45,522
Great costume.
Yeah, it's from A League of Their Own.
1513
01:13:45,546 --> 01:13:48,274
I actually haven't seen the movie.
1514
01:13:48,298 --> 01:13:50,276
Yeah, I haven't seen it either.
1515
01:13:50,300 --> 01:13:53,947
I needed a last-minute costume,
and my friend Carrie had it laying around.
1516
01:13:53,971 --> 01:13:55,657
Did you say it wasn't your favorite movie?
1517
01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:58,451
Who are you?
This is Norm. He brought me here.
1518
01:13:58,475 --> 01:14:00,620
Do you guys want a drink?
No, it's Noah.
1519
01:14:00,644 --> 01:14:02,747
And I think you guys should talk.
1520
01:14:02,771 --> 01:14:06,209
Honestly.
'Cause there is a connection here.
1521
01:14:06,233 --> 01:14:09,445
I'm gonna mingle. I love this song.
I love this party. So...
1522
01:14:10,237 --> 01:14:11,548
Whoo! (CHUCKLES)
1523
01:14:11,572 --> 01:14:14,676
I'll get my own drink. You should
really see A League of Their Own.
1524
01:14:14,700 --> 01:14:16,719
I'm disappointed that you haven't.
All right.
1525
01:14:16,743 --> 01:14:18,579
(CHUCKLES) Thanks, Noah.
(AVERY CHUCKLES)
1526
01:14:19,455 --> 01:14:20,557
(BOTH LAUGH)
1527
01:14:20,581 --> 01:14:23,143
How long have you known each other?
Uh, like eight minutes.
1528
01:14:23,167 --> 01:14:24,394
(LAUGHS) What?
1529
01:14:24,418 --> 01:14:27,147
♪ Ooh, you got it ♪
♪ Watch me ♪
1530
01:14:27,171 --> 01:14:28,356
♪ You got that good ♪
1531
01:14:28,380 --> 01:14:30,400
♪ Give it to me, give it to me
Hit me right now ♪
1532
01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:32,402
♪ Give it to me, give it to me
Hit me right now ♪
1533
01:14:32,426 --> 01:14:36,823
So let me guess. You are a Dunkin' Donut?
1534
01:14:36,847 --> 01:14:39,159
Two bucks for you, Sir.
Mmm.
1535
01:14:39,183 --> 01:14:42,454
Not one person at this party
has gotten that. You're good.
1536
01:14:42,478 --> 01:14:43,830
Thank you.
You're Cupid.
1537
01:14:43,854 --> 01:14:45,331
Oh, good one.
Mm-hmm.
1538
01:14:45,355 --> 01:14:46,249
Cheesy.
1539
01:14:46,273 --> 01:14:48,418
Well, at least I'm not that guy.
1540
01:14:48,442 --> 01:14:51,612
All right, I can guarantee this is
gonna be gross, and you get it first.
1541
01:14:53,989 --> 01:14:54,990
Hey, I'm Noah.
1542
01:14:55,741 --> 01:14:58,035
Carrie. Nice to meet you.
1543
01:15:01,622 --> 01:15:05,518
Do you wanna do shots?
Uh... yeah.
1544
01:15:05,542 --> 01:15:07,979
Uh... okay. Let's go.
1545
01:15:08,003 --> 01:15:09,213
(LAUGHS)
Come on.
1546
01:15:11,632 --> 01:15:12,942
Comin' in.
1547
01:15:12,966 --> 01:15:15,403
Here you go. One for you, one for me.
1548
01:15:15,427 --> 01:15:17,489
Aw! So cute.
1549
01:15:17,513 --> 01:15:19,515
Thank you.
Scored us the whole bottle.
1550
01:15:20,516 --> 01:15:23,036
What made you come up to me?
I don't know.
1551
01:15:23,060 --> 01:15:25,479
I thought that you had a familiar face.
1552
01:15:26,355 --> 01:15:28,124
I'm wearing goggles.
You can't even see me.
1553
01:15:28,148 --> 01:15:29,733
(GASPS) I love this song.
1554
01:15:30,734 --> 01:15:31,818
You wanna dance?
1555
01:15:32,569 --> 01:15:34,047
Uh... yeah.
1556
01:15:34,071 --> 01:15:35,798
You think you can handle all this?
1557
01:15:35,822 --> 01:15:38,468
You think you can handle all of this?
I can't.
1558
01:15:38,492 --> 01:15:39,844
♪ Tonight's gonna be a wild night ♪
1559
01:15:39,868 --> 01:15:41,179
♪ It'll be the highlight moment
Of our life ♪
1560
01:15:41,203 --> 01:15:42,680
It's a dance-off.
1561
01:15:42,704 --> 01:15:43,765
♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah ♪
1562
01:15:43,789 --> 01:15:45,558
♪ It's okay to dance
Till the light's out ♪
1563
01:15:45,582 --> 01:15:47,352
♪ All my friends
To the top we climbing ♪
1564
01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:49,604
♪ Hands in the air, everybody ready ♪
1565
01:15:49,628 --> 01:15:50,921
(LAUGHS)
1566
01:15:52,089 --> 01:15:54,734
♪ One wild night ♪
(VOCALIZING)
1567
01:15:54,758 --> 01:15:58,571
♪ We're so excited ♪
(VOCALIZING)
1568
01:15:58,595 --> 01:16:02,450
♪ We're all united ♪
(VOCALIZING)
1569
01:16:02,474 --> 01:16:06,329
♪ It's how we like it ♪
(VOCALIZING)
1570
01:16:06,353 --> 01:16:08,373
♪ One wild night ♪
♪ One wild night ♪
1571
01:16:08,397 --> 01:16:10,917
(VOCALIZING)
1572
01:16:10,941 --> 01:16:12,335
♪ One wild night ♪
1573
01:16:12,359 --> 01:16:13,836
(VOCALIZING)
1574
01:16:13,860 --> 01:16:15,880
♪ One wild night ♪
♪ One wild night ♪
1575
01:16:15,904 --> 01:16:16,905
Sorry.
1576
01:16:18,407 --> 01:16:19,825
Sorry.
(LAUGHING)
1577
01:16:22,160 --> 01:16:24,305
(LAUGHING)
1578
01:16:24,329 --> 01:16:26,832
Looks like this party's dead.
You wanna go somewhere else?
1579
01:16:28,041 --> 01:16:30,252
Yeah. I think I know a place.
1580
01:16:31,169 --> 01:16:33,481
Let's go get Ethan and Avery. Should we?
1581
01:16:33,505 --> 01:16:35,483
Let's do it.
Let's do it!
1582
01:16:35,507 --> 01:16:38,510
(PIANO PLAYING)
1583
01:16:45,976 --> 01:16:47,829
(AVERY LAUGHS)
ETHAN: It's so bright.
1584
01:16:47,853 --> 01:16:48,687
AVERY: It is.
1585
01:16:51,815 --> 01:16:53,025
(STOPS PLAYING)
1586
01:16:54,693 --> 01:16:57,696
I mean,
of course they'd be naturals at that.
1587
01:16:58,405 --> 01:17:00,675
They look good together.
1588
01:17:00,699 --> 01:17:01,759
NOAH: They do.
1589
01:17:01,783 --> 01:17:02,969
CARRIE: Cute.
1590
01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:04,328
That's their first kiss.
1591
01:17:06,330 --> 01:17:09,583
(PLAYING PIANO)
1592
01:17:14,379 --> 01:17:15,857
You play piano.
1593
01:17:15,881 --> 01:17:18,735
I got honorable mention
in a talent show once.
1594
01:17:18,759 --> 01:17:19,926
Oh, really?
1595
01:17:20,552 --> 01:17:22,554
And you play Oscar Peterson.
1596
01:17:23,263 --> 01:17:25,700
Well, you don't play OP. OP plays you.
1597
01:17:25,724 --> 01:17:27,643
That is true. That is true.
1598
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:30,771
(CHUCKLES)
1599
01:17:33,815 --> 01:17:35,192
All right. Not bad for Cupid.
1600
01:17:38,403 --> 01:17:40,465
So did Avery get you into him or...?
1601
01:17:40,489 --> 01:17:43,926
Avery's music knowledge
is 100 percent stolen from me.
1602
01:17:43,950 --> 01:17:47,430
If it were up to Avery, she'd be listening
to Jonas Brothers or Linkin Park.
1603
01:17:47,454 --> 01:17:49,223
(LAUGHS)
1604
01:17:49,247 --> 01:17:51,601
Peruse at your own will,
if you want to get schooled.
1605
01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:52,935
Okay.
1606
01:17:52,959 --> 01:17:54,520
This is your playlist?
Mm-hmm.
1607
01:17:54,544 --> 01:17:56,546
There are some deep cuts in here.
1608
01:17:58,131 --> 01:17:59,216
So you...
1609
01:17:59,841 --> 01:18:01,343
You're the one that likes jazz.
1610
01:18:02,010 --> 01:18:03,095
Yes.
1611
01:18:04,596 --> 01:18:07,367
And you like A League of Their Own.
1612
01:18:07,391 --> 01:18:09,601
I hand-made her costume.
1613
01:18:11,353 --> 01:18:14,957
So the Foosball table in your living room
is yours, not Avery's.
1614
01:18:14,981 --> 01:18:17,275
How'd you know I had a Foosball table
in my living room?
1615
01:18:20,195 --> 01:18:21,279
Avery.
1616
01:18:22,072 --> 01:18:23,383
She told me earlier.
1617
01:18:23,407 --> 01:18:24,783
Candid.
(CLICKS)
1618
01:18:26,535 --> 01:18:28,096
(LAUGHS)
1619
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:30,747
Right. Um, I'm probably cross-eyed.
1620
01:18:31,248 --> 01:18:32,624
Hmm.
No?
1621
01:18:33,333 --> 01:18:35,168
That's what I look like in my prom photo.
1622
01:18:36,086 --> 01:18:37,271
Oh.
I know.
1623
01:18:37,295 --> 01:18:39,565
Oh, my God! That is horrible!
1624
01:18:39,589 --> 01:18:41,734
You were actually worse than that.
You were this.
1625
01:18:41,758 --> 01:18:43,736
Wait. Cross-eyed and droopy. Huh?
1626
01:18:43,760 --> 01:18:44,803
(CHUCKLES) Oh.
1627
01:18:46,888 --> 01:18:48,849
I... I think you look good.
1628
01:18:51,852 --> 01:18:53,562
I'm really glad I came out tonight.
1629
01:18:54,271 --> 01:18:55,355
Yeah, me too.
1630
01:18:56,148 --> 01:18:57,792
I almost didn't.
1631
01:18:57,816 --> 01:18:59,127
Why?
1632
01:18:59,151 --> 01:19:02,696
(SIGHS) Ah, I'm going through this, like,
really weird breakup.
1633
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:07,176
I knew he'd be at the party,
and I wasn't sure how I'd feel about him.
1634
01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:11,455
You know, you either want to strangle him,
make out with him, cry in the bathroom.
1635
01:19:13,582 --> 01:19:15,184
You... He was at the party?
1636
01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:16,209
Yeah.
1637
01:19:18,044 --> 01:19:20,940
Who was he? Was he the AC/DC guy?
1638
01:19:20,964 --> 01:19:22,567
No. No. But...
1639
01:19:22,591 --> 01:19:24,068
Was he Hulk smash?
1640
01:19:24,092 --> 01:19:26,821
(LAUGHS) No. I believe
you made fun of this guy though.
1641
01:19:26,845 --> 01:19:28,322
Jell-O Shot Doctor?
1642
01:19:28,346 --> 01:19:29,866
What?
1643
01:19:29,890 --> 01:19:31,725
I-I-I did not know that.
1644
01:19:32,225 --> 01:19:33,745
That's all right. How would you know?
1645
01:19:33,769 --> 01:19:36,122
You ever keep spinning around
in the same relationship
1646
01:19:36,146 --> 01:19:37,814
over and over and it's just going nowhere?
1647
01:19:38,732 --> 01:19:42,110
Yeah. Yeah, I've been
in that relationship before.
1648
01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:46,883
Hey! Guys, come take pictures with us!
1649
01:19:46,907 --> 01:19:48,468
Nah.
Mmm, yeah.
1650
01:19:48,492 --> 01:19:50,261
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Let's do it. No, come on.
1651
01:19:50,285 --> 01:19:51,763
Yep.
Be a team player.
1652
01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:54,122
You're wearing a jersey,
for Christ's sake. Come on.
1653
01:19:57,751 --> 01:19:59,103
ETHAN: Get in here.
Come on.
1654
01:19:59,127 --> 01:20:00,480
NOAH: Come on.
AVERY: Ready?
1655
01:20:00,504 --> 01:20:02,273
We're all very happy.
Whoo!
1656
01:20:02,297 --> 01:20:04,233
Okay, now we're a little scared.
(GASP)
1657
01:20:04,257 --> 01:20:05,568
Now Carrie just vomited.
1658
01:20:05,592 --> 01:20:06,652
Ugh.
(RETCHES)
1659
01:20:06,676 --> 01:20:07,570
(LAUGHING)
1660
01:20:07,594 --> 01:20:08,946
Now Carrie fell out of the...
1661
01:20:08,970 --> 01:20:10,656
(LAUGHING)
(SHRIEKS)
1662
01:20:10,680 --> 01:20:12,557
Now we hurt Noah.
Sorry, sorry. Oh, no!
1663
01:20:24,194 --> 01:20:25,403
(CLEARS THROAT)
1664
01:20:27,656 --> 01:20:28,990
(CLEARS THROAT)
1665
01:20:29,825 --> 01:20:31,326
Where the hell am I?
1666
01:20:32,327 --> 01:20:34,955
It's 6:45 A.M. Rise and shine.
1667
01:20:35,997 --> 01:20:36,998
(SNIFFS)
1668
01:20:38,458 --> 01:20:42,337
Aaah! Whoo! On a scale of one to titties,
how epic was last night?
1669
01:20:43,213 --> 01:20:44,774
W-We're friends, right?
1670
01:20:44,798 --> 01:20:46,776
What are you talking about?
We're best friends.
1671
01:20:46,800 --> 01:20:49,403
I mean, technically,
you did go home solo yet again,
1672
01:20:49,427 --> 01:20:51,948
but what's important is
we shared a kick-ass experience.
1673
01:20:51,972 --> 01:20:55,576
I brought home Haley, the dietitian.
Old soul.
1674
01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:56,786
Hey, where's Avery?
1675
01:20:56,810 --> 01:20:58,996
Avery's probably with Ethan.
1676
01:20:59,020 --> 01:21:01,207
So they're dating?
Yep. Engaged.
1677
01:21:01,231 --> 01:21:02,732
So, um...
1678
01:21:03,692 --> 01:21:05,002
where's Carrie?
1679
01:21:05,026 --> 01:21:06,671
Her friend?
1680
01:21:06,695 --> 01:21:09,340
Uh, I don't know.
I haven't seen her in a few years.
1681
01:21:09,364 --> 01:21:11,676
You said she got back with her ex
and fell off your radar.
1682
01:21:11,700 --> 01:21:13,076
What's with all the questions, bro?
1683
01:21:13,660 --> 01:21:15,036
Jell-O Shot Doctor?
1684
01:21:16,288 --> 01:21:19,809
No, she says that they...
That-that she doesn't like him.
1685
01:21:19,833 --> 01:21:21,835
So that can't...
What's wrong with you?
1686
01:21:22,502 --> 01:21:24,063
What are you talking about?
1687
01:21:24,087 --> 01:21:25,773
I'm talking about me and Carrie, Max.
1688
01:21:25,797 --> 01:21:27,549
I-I'm talking about fate.
1689
01:21:28,049 --> 01:21:29,819
Fate is a tricky lady.
1690
01:21:29,843 --> 01:21:32,280
When you try to figure her out,
you just get more confused.
1691
01:21:32,304 --> 01:21:36,117
All I know is the mistakes I've made
and the ladies I've laid
1692
01:21:36,141 --> 01:21:38,244
have made me who I am today.
1693
01:21:38,268 --> 01:21:41,122
If I were to go back and
relive it differently, I wouldn't be me.
1694
01:21:41,146 --> 01:21:42,206
And I like me.
1695
01:21:42,230 --> 01:21:44,584
I thought things were supposed to happen
for a reason.
1696
01:21:44,608 --> 01:21:46,210
That's what strippers and idiots say.
1697
01:21:46,234 --> 01:21:49,839
Things happen randomly
for no reason at all.
1698
01:21:49,863 --> 01:21:51,549
But they create opportunities, Noah.
1699
01:21:51,573 --> 01:21:54,594
And you learn from those opportunities,
even the missed ones.
1700
01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:57,805
The question is,
can you recognize that next opportunity
1701
01:21:57,829 --> 01:21:59,581
when it matters the most?
1702
01:22:01,166 --> 01:22:03,978
I've been watching these speeches online.
Really inspirational.
1703
01:22:04,002 --> 01:22:06,004
This kid, 15 years old.
1704
01:22:06,546 --> 01:22:08,190
Not a lot of subscribers, but...
1705
01:22:08,214 --> 01:22:09,692
(DOOR OPENS)
Noah!
1706
01:22:09,716 --> 01:22:11,986
I made us breakfast,
most important meal of the day!
1707
01:22:12,010 --> 01:22:13,011
Gotta go!
(DOOR CLOSES)
1708
01:22:25,941 --> 01:22:27,084
Noah?
Wow.
1709
01:22:27,108 --> 01:22:30,612
Hey, you just missed Avery and Ethan.
Everything okay?
1710
01:22:31,404 --> 01:22:33,466
Carrie, for the past three years,
1711
01:22:33,490 --> 01:22:36,302
I've been pining over
what I thought was destiny,
1712
01:22:36,326 --> 01:22:40,765
but no matter what I would do,
Ethan would end up connecting with Avery,
1713
01:22:40,789 --> 01:22:44,393
and I would always seem
to connect with you.
1714
01:22:44,417 --> 01:22:47,629
'Cause this whole time,
it was meant to be me and you.
1715
01:22:49,089 --> 01:22:49,923
Wasn't it?
1716
01:22:54,761 --> 01:22:56,989
What the hell are you doing?
What do you mean?
1717
01:22:57,013 --> 01:22:58,890
Jesus!
Okay, I thought...
1718
01:22:59,557 --> 01:23:02,036
I thought this was the moment
that-that-that...
1719
01:23:02,060 --> 01:23:05,271
When our mutual feelings
would come together and...
1720
01:23:07,232 --> 01:23:08,417
blossom.
1721
01:23:08,441 --> 01:23:10,044
What are you talking about?
1722
01:23:10,068 --> 01:23:12,755
We've barely hung out.
That's not true, exactly.
1723
01:23:12,779 --> 01:23:15,257
A long time ago, we met at that party.
1724
01:23:15,281 --> 01:23:18,678
We had a great time, I wound up getting
back together with my ex-boyfriend.
1725
01:23:18,702 --> 01:23:20,787
Yeah. Why did you do that?
1726
01:23:22,163 --> 01:23:23,683
What kind of question is that?
1727
01:23:23,707 --> 01:23:26,185
There's been times when you've hated me,
1728
01:23:26,209 --> 01:23:28,813
and there's been times
when you've hit me with trees.
1729
01:23:28,837 --> 01:23:31,107
And then there's been times
1730
01:23:31,131 --> 01:23:33,883
when... you've been my only friend.
1731
01:23:34,926 --> 01:23:38,114
And there has to be one moment
over the past three years
1732
01:23:38,138 --> 01:23:39,639
where you thought about us.
1733
01:23:40,849 --> 01:23:41,850
And you wondered.
1734
01:23:44,352 --> 01:23:45,913
Okay, maybe.
1735
01:23:45,937 --> 01:23:48,356
But... I don't know.
1736
01:23:48,940 --> 01:23:50,668
I'm getting ready for a date.
1737
01:23:50,692 --> 01:23:52,795
With who? Jell-O shot guy?
1738
01:23:52,819 --> 01:23:55,423
His name is Phil.
Phil is a stepdad name.
1739
01:23:55,447 --> 01:23:56,716
You ready?
1740
01:23:56,740 --> 01:23:58,116
What's up, player? Phil.
1741
01:23:59,284 --> 01:24:01,220
Hey, Phil. Noah.
1742
01:24:01,244 --> 01:24:02,763
All right. Two minutes?
Yes.
1743
01:24:02,787 --> 01:24:04,039
PHIL: Cool.
1744
01:24:08,877 --> 01:24:09,878
Well, are you happy?
1745
01:24:14,257 --> 01:24:16,342
You know what? We're late.
1746
01:24:17,177 --> 01:24:20,239
Where you going? Hmm?
Avery and Ethan's engagement party?
1747
01:24:20,263 --> 01:24:22,491
No, actually, that was last night.
1748
01:24:22,515 --> 01:24:24,559
No, it's tonight. It's supposed to be...
1749
01:24:25,685 --> 01:24:27,687
Oh, my God, of course.
1750
01:24:28,772 --> 01:24:31,751
I got Avery and Ethan together
one day earlier this time.
1751
01:24:31,775 --> 01:24:33,836
So... Shit!
1752
01:24:33,860 --> 01:24:35,254
Oh!
(PUNCHES HAND)
1753
01:24:35,278 --> 01:24:36,362
Goddamn time travel.
1754
01:24:37,155 --> 01:24:38,049
What?
1755
01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:39,258
You were right.
1756
01:24:39,282 --> 01:24:42,368
Relationships are about intangible things.
1757
01:24:43,244 --> 01:24:44,972
They're about moments.
1758
01:24:44,996 --> 01:24:48,517
The real moments
and who you share them with.
1759
01:24:48,541 --> 01:24:51,979
And the realest moments
that I've had over the past three years
1760
01:24:52,003 --> 01:24:53,004
have been with you.
1761
01:24:54,672 --> 01:24:59,094
You know, I know you don't understand,
but I'm gonna fix this. Okay?
1762
01:25:00,470 --> 01:25:03,556
I'm sorry. I... Bye, Noah.
1763
01:25:10,313 --> 01:25:12,941
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1764
01:25:13,525 --> 01:25:15,252
Well, hey, hey, yo.
1765
01:25:15,276 --> 01:25:16,837
Hey, Chad. What's up?
Hey, Noah.
1766
01:25:16,861 --> 01:25:19,131
Where's the photo booth?
Uh, what photo booth?
1767
01:25:19,155 --> 01:25:20,198
That one.
1768
01:25:21,032 --> 01:25:23,219
It's right there.
No, the one with, like...
1769
01:25:23,243 --> 01:25:25,930
The mahogany, the wood and the...
Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1770
01:25:25,954 --> 01:25:28,808
They got rid of it. A while back, man.
1771
01:25:28,832 --> 01:25:29,892
What?
1772
01:25:29,916 --> 01:25:32,311
Sorry?
No. (LAUGHS)
1773
01:25:32,335 --> 01:25:33,771
That-That can't happen.
1774
01:25:33,795 --> 01:25:36,565
I-I don't know what you're talking about.
(NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
1775
01:25:36,589 --> 01:25:37,566
I'm stuck here.
1776
01:25:37,590 --> 01:25:40,194
The girl I love is dating someone else.
Is that what you're saying?
1777
01:25:40,218 --> 01:25:42,738
(CHUCKLES) Yeah. Story of my life.
1778
01:25:42,762 --> 01:25:46,099
No, it's not the story of your life,
because you're not a time traveler, Chad!
1779
01:25:49,185 --> 01:25:50,329
Can I get a drink?
1780
01:25:50,353 --> 01:25:53,290
Classic Noah. (GIGGLES)
1781
01:25:53,314 --> 01:25:55,501
MALE VOICE: Welcome to Boogie Booth.
1782
01:25:55,525 --> 01:25:58,069
Three, two, one.
1783
01:25:59,320 --> 01:26:00,840
Get ready.
1784
01:26:00,864 --> 01:26:03,408
Three, two, one.
1785
01:26:03,992 --> 01:26:05,618
BURPS: You're doing great.
1786
01:26:06,411 --> 01:26:08,413
We're almost done.
Hey.
1787
01:26:09,539 --> 01:26:11,225
What are you doing in here?
1788
01:26:11,249 --> 01:26:16,647
Obviously,
I am taking a personal photo collage
1789
01:26:16,671 --> 01:26:17,898
of hopelessness.
1790
01:26:17,922 --> 01:26:19,674
Okay. (CHUCKLES)
1791
01:26:20,466 --> 01:26:22,236
What are you doing here?
What do you mean?
1792
01:26:22,260 --> 01:26:23,988
We came to see you play.
1793
01:26:24,012 --> 01:26:26,907
And you didn't show up to our party
last night, so we were worried.
1794
01:26:26,931 --> 01:26:28,576
Hey, buddy. Yikes.
1795
01:26:28,600 --> 01:26:30,411
You need a water? I got you.
1796
01:26:30,435 --> 01:26:31,978
No. Give me...
Thanks, honey.
1797
01:26:34,689 --> 01:26:35,899
Come on.
1798
01:26:36,774 --> 01:26:38,544
(SIGHS)
What are you doing taking photos
1799
01:26:38,568 --> 01:26:40,028
in a piece of junk like this?
1800
01:26:40,695 --> 01:26:43,048
Well, it's the only one they have, so...
1801
01:26:43,072 --> 01:26:45,676
Your photo booth at home
takes way better photos.
1802
01:26:45,700 --> 01:26:46,802
What?
1803
01:26:46,826 --> 01:26:48,036
Something happen to it?
1804
01:26:48,620 --> 01:26:51,539
Oh, my God. Do you have any idea
what I went through to get that thing?
1805
01:26:53,541 --> 01:26:55,543
You got me the photo booth?
Yeah.
1806
01:26:57,295 --> 01:26:59,422
Why?
Because we're friends.
1807
01:27:02,717 --> 01:27:04,302
Oh, my God.
1808
01:27:05,220 --> 01:27:06,572
It...
1809
01:27:06,596 --> 01:27:09,491
It makes perfect sense. I need you.
1810
01:27:09,515 --> 01:27:10,659
What?
1811
01:27:10,683 --> 01:27:13,412
I need you in order to meet Carrie.
1812
01:27:13,436 --> 01:27:15,915
I was supposed to meet you
at the Halloween party,
1813
01:27:15,939 --> 01:27:18,000
and everything else was supposed
to happen after that.
1814
01:27:18,024 --> 01:27:20,336
Here. Got you a ginger ale.
1815
01:27:20,360 --> 01:27:22,570
Oh, you really are perfect.
1816
01:27:23,363 --> 01:27:25,799
(CHUCKLES) You guys are perfect together.
1817
01:27:25,823 --> 01:27:28,093
I gotta go back
and I have to do everything
1818
01:27:28,117 --> 01:27:30,888
exactly how I did it the first time,
and not change a thing.
1819
01:27:30,912 --> 01:27:33,724
Because everything
does happen for a reason. Right?
1820
01:27:33,748 --> 01:27:36,101
Or maybe it doesn't.
Or maybe Max was right.
1821
01:27:36,125 --> 01:27:38,229
Or maybe I'm just a stripper.
What?
1822
01:27:38,253 --> 01:27:40,255
I love you.
I'll see you at the engagement party.
1823
01:27:42,757 --> 01:27:44,485
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God.
1824
01:27:44,509 --> 01:27:48,179
He knows it was last night, right?
I don't think so. He's very drunk.
1825
01:27:54,519 --> 01:27:55,955
Oh!
1826
01:27:55,979 --> 01:27:58,540
Oh, my God.
1827
01:27:58,564 --> 01:28:00,501
You look so good in here!
1828
01:28:00,525 --> 01:28:01,526
(KISSES)
1829
01:28:02,026 --> 01:28:03,236
(SIGHS)
1830
01:28:08,408 --> 01:28:09,742
(CHUCKLES)
1831
01:28:12,203 --> 01:28:13,264
(COINS CLINKING)
1832
01:28:13,288 --> 01:28:15,498
One last time.
1833
01:28:28,469 --> 01:28:30,614
Whoo! Hulk smash!
Jesus.
1834
01:28:30,638 --> 01:28:31,472
Are you okay?
1835
01:28:37,437 --> 01:28:40,666
♪ Ooh ♪
1836
01:28:40,690 --> 01:28:43,318
(WHIRRING)
It's the sound of history.
1837
01:28:45,069 --> 01:28:47,381
Wow. You really like Cookie Crisp.
1838
01:28:47,405 --> 01:28:50,009
I love it. You should get more.
1839
01:28:50,033 --> 01:28:53,202
Tomorrow. At 1:00 or whenever.
1840
01:28:54,203 --> 01:28:57,224
And don't go to the store right down
the street. Go to the one on Third.
1841
01:28:57,248 --> 01:28:59,459
Wow, that's very specific. Thank you.
1842
01:28:59,959 --> 01:29:03,087
Oh, my God,
it is so nice to have a good guy friend.
1843
01:29:03,671 --> 01:29:04,547
It is.
1844
01:29:07,759 --> 01:29:09,260
Bye.
Bye.
1845
01:29:12,764 --> 01:29:14,515
Hey.
Hey.
1846
01:29:20,938 --> 01:29:22,750
Cheers!
Cheers.
1847
01:29:22,774 --> 01:29:24,668
(APPLAUSE)
1848
01:29:24,692 --> 01:29:25,693
Cheers.
1849
01:29:27,945 --> 01:29:29,864
AVERY: Thank you. You too.
ETHAN: Thank you.
1850
01:29:30,823 --> 01:29:33,493
Hi. Oh, my God. (LAUGHS) How are you?
1851
01:29:36,788 --> 01:29:38,414
(SHUTTER CLICKS)
Candid.
1852
01:29:38,915 --> 01:29:41,727
Oh, Noah.
Hey, I haven't seen you in forever.
1853
01:29:41,751 --> 01:29:46,982
It's been a while, huh?
I've been, um... been traveling a lot.
1854
01:29:47,006 --> 01:29:48,067
Yeah? (CHUCKLES)
1855
01:29:48,091 --> 01:29:49,902
Yeah.
Cool.
1856
01:29:49,926 --> 01:29:52,011
You, uh... You look good.
1857
01:29:52,595 --> 01:29:54,097
Oh. Thank you.
1858
01:29:55,014 --> 01:29:56,015
You look good.
1859
01:29:56,516 --> 01:29:57,701
Thanks.
1860
01:29:57,725 --> 01:30:01,205
So, do you believe all that?
1861
01:30:01,229 --> 01:30:02,706
Believe what?
1862
01:30:02,730 --> 01:30:04,500
All that stuff about them
1863
01:30:04,524 --> 01:30:07,127
finding each other
and falling in love all in one night.
1864
01:30:07,151 --> 01:30:08,653
I don't know.
1865
01:30:09,612 --> 01:30:12,198
I mean, normally I'd call bullshit, but...
1866
01:30:13,282 --> 01:30:15,368
some things are meant to be.
1867
01:30:17,286 --> 01:30:18,496
Yeah.
1868
01:30:22,125 --> 01:30:25,145
You know,
I know you probably have like a...
1869
01:30:25,169 --> 01:30:27,481
A photo shoot or something cool tomorrow.
1870
01:30:27,505 --> 01:30:30,901
But did you wanna go get
a drink or something?
1871
01:30:30,925 --> 01:30:32,194
Oh, you wanna ditch?
1872
01:30:32,218 --> 01:30:35,489
Yep, I wanna just leave
and not say goodbye to anyone.
1873
01:30:35,513 --> 01:30:37,515
Just disappear. Vanish.
1874
01:30:38,141 --> 01:30:40,601
I'm catching a vibe
that you also want to do that.
1875
01:30:41,185 --> 01:30:43,205
Are we shits for leaving early?
1876
01:30:43,229 --> 01:30:45,064
Uh... Mmm.
1877
01:30:45,731 --> 01:30:46,774
(LAUGHS)
1878
01:30:48,067 --> 01:30:50,945
Nah. They don't need us anymore.
1879
01:30:52,989 --> 01:30:55,241
You like jazz?
No.
1880
01:30:55,741 --> 01:30:58,119
I'm kidding. I am jazz.
1881
01:30:59,287 --> 01:31:01,706
Well, then come on. Let's go.
Yeah?
1882
01:31:02,707 --> 01:31:03,976
(SHUTTER CLICKS)
Candid.
1883
01:31:04,000 --> 01:31:06,061
No, that's mine. That's my thing.
1884
01:31:06,085 --> 01:31:08,230
Seems like it's my thing now,
I'm holding the camera.
1885
01:31:08,254 --> 01:31:10,107
No, that...
NOAH: Candid.
1886
01:31:10,131 --> 01:31:12,442
CARRIE: Okay.
I've done that already. We're good.
1887
01:31:12,466 --> 01:31:16,888
♪ You make me want you, babe ♪
1888
01:31:18,014 --> 01:31:20,200
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Hey, little girl, set my soul on fire ♪
1889
01:31:20,224 --> 01:31:22,661
♪ You're the gasoline, my one desire ♪
1890
01:31:22,685 --> 01:31:27,666
♪ You make it worth the chase ♪
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
1891
01:31:27,690 --> 01:31:30,961
♪ I will follow you ♪
1892
01:31:30,985 --> 01:31:34,965
♪ To the end of the world ♪
1893
01:31:34,989 --> 01:31:37,801
♪ With you ♪
1894
01:31:37,825 --> 01:31:40,929
♪ I will follow you ♪
1895
01:31:40,953 --> 01:31:44,975
♪ To the end of the world ♪
1896
01:31:44,999 --> 01:31:46,768
♪ With you ♪
1897
01:31:46,792 --> 01:31:47,895
♪ Jump off the edge ♪
1898
01:31:47,919 --> 01:31:51,690
(VOCALIZING)
♪ Hey ♪
1899
01:31:51,714 --> 01:31:52,774
♪ Jump off the edge ♪
1900
01:31:52,798 --> 01:31:57,988
(VOCALIZING)
1901
01:31:58,012 --> 01:32:02,409
♪ You caught my eye
Pretended to look away ♪
1902
01:32:02,433 --> 01:32:07,897
♪ I made up an excuse
'Cause I needed something to say ♪
1903
01:32:09,941 --> 01:32:12,085
♪ Hey, little girl
With the crooked smile ♪
1904
01:32:12,109 --> 01:32:14,755
♪ You got a love so warm
Make a heart run wild ♪
1905
01:32:14,779 --> 01:32:17,865
♪ You make me wanna stay ♪
1906
01:32:19,909 --> 01:32:22,137
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Hey, little girl, set my soul on fire ♪
1907
01:32:22,161 --> 01:32:24,514
♪ You're the gasoline, my one desire ♪
1908
01:32:24,538 --> 01:32:28,209
♪ You make it worth the chase ♪
1909
01:32:29,835 --> 01:32:33,023
♪ I will follow you ♪
1910
01:32:33,047 --> 01:32:36,944
♪ To the end of the world ♪
1911
01:32:36,968 --> 01:32:39,136
♪ With you ♪
1912
01:32:39,720 --> 01:32:42,741
♪ I will follow you ♪
1913
01:32:42,765 --> 01:32:46,828
♪ To the end of the world ♪
1914
01:32:46,852 --> 01:32:48,664
♪ With you ♪
1915
01:32:48,688 --> 01:32:52,876
♪ Jump off the edge ♪
(VOCALIZING)
1916
01:32:52,900 --> 01:32:54,628
♪ Hey ♪
1917
01:32:54,652 --> 01:32:58,423
(VOCALIZING)
1918
01:32:58,447 --> 01:33:02,594
♪ Jump off the edge ♪
(VOCALIZING)
1919
01:33:02,618 --> 01:33:03,786
♪ Hey ♪