1 00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:02,160 I never could start one those fires. 2 00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:04,540 Dad, are you gonna have chicken or meat? 3 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:06,200 Chicken's fine. 4 00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:08,660 This is a brilliant article. Norman! 5 00:02:09,580 --> 00:02:12,040 - You read Ken's article on China? - No, I haven't. 6 00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:12,960 Terrific article. 7 00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:14,420 And where is Ken? 8 00:02:14,630 --> 00:02:17,380 He's in the house watching the Yankee game. 9 00:02:17,590 --> 00:02:20,550 Your husband comes for a day in the country. 10 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,050 And heads straight for the TV set. 11 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:24,930 Ken, come on honey! 12 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:27,640 How many chicken? How many hamburgers? 13 00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:30,100 Two more outs. Three minutes. 14 00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:32,520 Everybody's dying for a libation. 15 00:02:32,730 --> 00:02:35,190 Make some of your famous Stoli martinis. 16 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,820 Janet, when are you going to have a child? 17 00:02:38,030 --> 00:02:41,070 You've let your sister have a big head start. 18 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:45,120 Let Leslie practice viola 6 hours a day. It's not so easy. 19 00:02:45,370 --> 00:02:46,910 Leave her alone. 20 00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:59,090 I came in to make drinks for everybody. 21 00:03:02,050 --> 00:03:06,140 - What are you doing? Want a drink? - Sure. 22 00:03:07,430 --> 00:03:08,390 I was. 23 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:15,980 This is nuts! 24 00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:18,820 We gotta get out of here. 25 00:03:32,540 --> 00:03:34,750 What? No, we'll get caught. 26 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,420 I see them by the lake. 27 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,270 They're deep in conversation. 28 00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:57,610 Wait! There's Janet! 29 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,490 No. It's okay. 30 00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:06,490 You can't scare me like that. 31 00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:10,120 I grind my teeth. Just don't scare me like that. 32 00:04:10,330 --> 00:04:11,540 Just a false alarm. 33 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,160 Listen, try not to actually chew. 34 00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:17,500 Wouldn't it be great to be off alone. 35 00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,710 Just relaxed. You and me. 36 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,260 It'd be so great. 37 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:24,470 Let's hang in. You never know. 38 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,260 Come on, open wide. 39 00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:30,510 Turn the Yankee game off and come out here now! 40 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,480 I will. Just one minute. It's almost over. 41 00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:46,280 I'm done. 42 00:04:46,950 --> 00:04:49,200 - Come any time you want. - Can l? 43 00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,450 I'm done! 44 00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:52,950 I'm ready! 45 00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:55,910 Leslie, is that you? 46 00:04:57,790 --> 00:05:00,130 Can you lead me down to the lake? 47 00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:02,840 Just a minute, Grandma. 48 00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:05,090 I'm making some martinis. 49 00:05:05,590 --> 00:05:08,140 - Sure, dear. - I want to finish. 50 00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:10,720 Ken? is that you? 51 00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:12,510 Finish what? 52 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,020 Hello! 53 00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:17,560 - Come, Ken. - Come? 54 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,560 Come, lead me to the lake. 55 00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:22,650 Ever since I lost my second eye... 56 00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:24,900 I feel so frail. 57 00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:31,530 You don't have to moan. It's not that terrible. 58 00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:33,540 Ken is hurrying, Grandma. 59 00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:36,750 Would you do the olives? Could you do them quickly? 60 00:05:37,410 --> 00:05:38,710 You can use onions, too. 61 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,380 I prefer onions, don't you, Ken? 62 00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:43,500 Yes! Yes! Yes! 63 00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:47,970 Boy, you must really love onions! 64 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:01,190 - Lucy? - You schmuck! You bastard! 65 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,360 I'd like to cut your head off. 66 00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:05,530 You're upset, right? 67 00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:08,320 You knew what'd happen! 68 00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:10,820 What are you talking about? 69 00:06:11,030 --> 00:06:12,410 Don't answer me, prick! 70 00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:15,370 You knew! You just didn't give a shit! 71 00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:18,290 Take your coat off. 72 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,120 How could you write that book? 73 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:21,630 Are you so selfish... 74 00:06:21,830 --> 00:06:24,380 you don't give a shit who you destroy? 75 00:06:24,590 --> 00:06:27,840 - I can tell you're angry. - You told our whole story! 76 00:06:28,550 --> 00:06:31,090 You gave me away to my sister! 77 00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:33,470 Marvin's left me. He's gone. 78 00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:36,680 It was loosely based on us. 79 00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:39,390 Don't bullshit me, mother fucker! 80 00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:41,520 Do you think you're talking... 81 00:06:41,770 --> 00:06:44,020 to one of those retarded talk show hosts? 82 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:48,990 I lived through it with you. I know how loosely based it is. 83 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,160 What, are you telling me your blind grandmother... 84 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,740 caught us fucking? 85 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,080 Never! 86 00:06:55,370 --> 00:06:59,000 Of course, you made a few stupid exaggerations. 87 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,620 or, as the critics say: "inspired comic flights". 88 00:07:02,830 --> 00:07:06,670 But Jane recognized it. You'd have to be sub-mental not to. 89 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,010 And Marvin was crushed! 90 00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:11,590 Jane has suspected us for so long. 91 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,300 I know! And I denied it! 92 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:15,970 And now, you've gone... 93 00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:18,770 and confirmed it all for her! 94 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:22,350 Big fucking deal! You made Leslie shorter! 95 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,060 Big fucking deal! 96 00:07:24,270 --> 00:07:25,860 But it's all here! 97 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:29,150 The schmuck country doctor, the violinist... 98 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,610 her sister in Connecticut cheating with her husband. 99 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,950 The picture window, for Chrissake! 100 00:07:36,410 --> 00:07:38,240 Cruel observations about Marvin... 101 00:07:38,450 --> 00:07:40,660 and his barbecue and chef's hat. 102 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:44,670 And of course, Jane, or as you so pathetically... 103 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,290 disguise her... 104 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,000 Janet. 105 00:07:49,090 --> 00:07:50,420 Here it is: 106 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,180 "It was not just that Leslie was numbed... 107 00:07:54,470 --> 00:07:56,890 with the spate of leaden perceptions... 108 00:07:57,100 --> 00:07:59,260 that passed for wit from Marvin. 109 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,180 Nor was the image she shared with Ken... 110 00:08:02,430 --> 00:08:05,850 of Marvin's flaccid microscopic member... 111 00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:09,020 jiggling up and down as he tiptoed naked... 112 00:08:09,230 --> 00:08:11,570 across the icy floor of their home... 113 00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:13,400 to close the storm windows. 114 00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:16,620 It was that she had never loved him... 115 00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:21,540 but she wanted children to retaliate against her sister... 116 00:08:21,790 --> 00:08:25,540 who was not maternal, and whose every inch, Leslie felt... 117 00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:28,630 was occupied by gluttonous self-love. 118 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,670 Ken fondled Leslie's large breasts, mounting her from the rear." 119 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,010 Big fucking deal! 120 00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:36,140 - You gave her large breasts! - Leslie... 121 00:08:36,470 --> 00:08:37,430 Lucy! 122 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,560 I'm Lucy, mother fucker! 123 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,640 Not Leslie! 124 00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,270 Except of course, I am Leslie... 125 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,240 because you didn't disguise it! You didn't give a fuck! 126 00:08:53,570 --> 00:08:55,990 You didn't care enough to disguise it! 127 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,030 Please! 128 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,830 You pulled out two years ago. You broke my fucking heart. 129 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,450 You left your wife and me... 130 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:05,750 for some little cooze! 131 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,830 Me and Janet! 132 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,750 Jane. Janet is the character in the book. 133 00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:12,210 Now... 134 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:14,210 two years later... 135 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:16,260 your latest magnum opus... 136 00:09:16,510 --> 00:09:19,680 emerges from this sewer of an apartment... 137 00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:23,470 where you take our suffering and turn it into gold... 138 00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:25,180 literary gold! 139 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,980 Everyone's misery, you even cause misery... 140 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,810 and use your alchemy... 141 00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:33,190 to turn it into gold, like some fucking black magician! 142 00:09:33,570 --> 00:09:36,610 I'm the one who wound up in Bellevue. 143 00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:38,030 You deserve it and worse. 144 00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:41,240 You ruined my life! I'll blow my brains out! 145 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:42,580 What's wrong with you? 146 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:45,330 In front of you... 147 00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:48,580 because you caused it. My brains on your carpet! 148 00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:49,880 You're unstable! 149 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,750 Will you relax? 150 00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:55,510 That's why I turn you on. Jane's crazy sister. 151 00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:58,010 You're not going to kill yourself. 152 00:09:58,590 --> 00:10:01,100 No. You're not, because it's not in you. 153 00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:03,760 You're never were the dramatic type. 154 00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:07,940 Jane is the dramatic sister. Jane is the solo violinist. 155 00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:12,020 Relax, for Christ's sake. 156 00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:15,230 You're right. 157 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,990 I don't have the nerve to kill myself. 158 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,790 I knew it as I came over here... 159 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,000 I said no. 160 00:10:28,290 --> 00:10:29,420 Not me. 161 00:10:33,670 --> 00:10:35,840 Better to kill him. 162 00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:38,010 Pardon me? 163 00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:40,300 Kill the black magician. 164 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,720 So he can't spin any more gold out of human misery. 165 00:10:44,970 --> 00:10:46,220 What's wrong with you? 166 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:47,220 Shut up! 167 00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:49,640 - Put it down. - You're so fucking verbal. 168 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,400 You talked me into giving you.. 169 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,360 a blow job at my father's funeral! 170 00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,150 You stop right there! 171 00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:02,070 Don't pull the trigger! 172 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,910 If it makes you happy, my life's been going badly. 173 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:09,830 I've been miserable. My girl left me for a friend of mine. 174 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,790 Insomnia. I've got herpes. 175 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,290 I squandered all I have on shrinks... 176 00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,170 and lawyers and whores. 177 00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:17,630 Fatigue syndrome. 178 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:20,420 I won't stand up here on this fucking roof... 179 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:24,720 with a world-class meshugana cunt and beg for my life... 180 00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:27,770 If you want, shoot me! You interrupted me... 181 00:11:27,970 --> 00:11:31,390 - Whose life were you exploiting today? - You'll be happy. 182 00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:32,690 It was re-writing. 183 00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:36,070 An autobiographical thing from when I was first married. 184 00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:40,150 Harvey Stern married too young... 185 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:44,280 to escape his parent's apartment, aren't-controlled cornucopia... 186 00:11:44,530 --> 00:11:46,660 of guilt, and sou-deadening criticism. 187 00:11:47,950 --> 00:11:50,950 By day, he labored in a shoe store. 188 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:54,710 By night, he glowed intensely over his Remington portable. 189 00:11:55,670 --> 00:11:57,130 Are you coming to bed? 190 00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,710 I'm in the middle of a sentence. 191 00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:02,680 - I lost my thread. - I feel rejected. 192 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,930 We never sleep together anymore. 193 00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:08,260 I don't know what it is. I'm just not attracted to her. 194 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,930 - What does she do to put you off? - It's my fault, too. 195 00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:15,150 I lie, telling her I'm too wrapped up in work... 196 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,230 when I'm actually hyper-sexually aroused. Just not for her. 197 00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:20,780 Who for? 198 00:12:20,980 --> 00:12:21,990 Anyone else. 199 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,910 She has a sister. I'm dying to fuck her. 200 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,950 A doll, thick lips. 201 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,620 Her friend Jennifer? I dream of her. 202 00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:33,460 I never cared about African history but she's spell binding. 203 00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:36,130 The truth is, I never see a woman.. 204 00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:39,290 that I don't wonder what she's like in bed. 205 00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:45,300 I met a great hooker! 206 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:46,720 A hooker? 207 00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:49,600 Beautiful. From China. 208 00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:52,220 Unbelievable body. 209 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:56,230 Schooled by tradition in the art of pleasing men. 210 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,020 Fifty clams. 211 00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:00,900 Isn't that cheating on your wife? 212 00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:03,610 No. It's not cheating. She's a hooker. 213 00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:05,740 It's not like a love affair. 214 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,830 You don't feel for a professional like you do for your wife. 215 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,290 She comes over, rubs on her oils... 216 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:14,460 Oils? 217 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,750 Into the sack. She takes you to the moon. 218 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,710 Lay half a C-note on her she's history. 219 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,460 Where would you do it? 220 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,840 I couldn't have her at my apartment. 221 00:13:26,090 --> 00:13:29,430 You get a hotel room. It's what I do when the wife's home. 222 00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:35,100 I don't have the dough. Fifty's a lot in itself. 223 00:13:35,310 --> 00:13:37,690 Maybe a friend'll let you use his place. 224 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,770 You're always bitching about your sex life. 225 00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:42,520 I'm trying to help. 226 00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:45,990 I tell her you gave me the number? 227 00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:49,700 Not my name! Don't use your real name. 228 00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:51,780 Of course. Not the real name. 229 00:13:51,990 --> 00:13:55,540 You borrow a friend's apartment, you use his name. 230 00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:57,710 That way it'll be on the bell. 231 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000 Good fortune smiled on Harvey. 232 00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:05,380 One of his best friends, Mendel Birnbaum, was hit by a car, 233 00:14:05,590 --> 00:14:09,180 and hovered between life and death at New York Hospital... 234 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:11,430 freeing up agree at bachelor apartment... 235 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,180 for Harvey's tryst. 236 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,720 Donning the other man's robe... 237 00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:18,640 Harvey became the swinger Mendel Birnbaum... 238 00:14:18,850 --> 00:14:20,190 and waited... 239 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,150 his Oriental passport to paradise. 240 00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:25,820 You must be Mendel Birnbaum. 241 00:14:47,130 --> 00:14:48,470 Did you enjoy it? 242 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,760 - Are you kidding? Be right back. - Where you going? 243 00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:54,560 I'm going to check my pants for another 50. 244 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,140 I'd like to go again. 245 00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:10,610 Yes? 246 00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:13,030 - Mendel Birnbaum? - Yes. 247 00:15:15,870 --> 00:15:16,870 Open. 248 00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:18,580 Who is it? 249 00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:26,000 Who are you? 250 00:15:26,210 --> 00:15:27,800 I've come for you. 251 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,970 - What are you talking about? - I'm Death... 252 00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:34,850 and your name is on my list. 253 00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:36,220 No! 254 00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:38,560 Wait a minute. You've made a mistake. 255 00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:40,600 You don't have a minute. 256 00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:42,270 I'm not Mendel... 257 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,650 Don't give me that bullshit! 258 00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:46,730 Look at your monogram. 259 00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:48,190 Mendel? 260 00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:49,900 Who are you talking to? 261 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,530 Don't call me Mendel. 262 00:15:51,740 --> 00:15:53,860 - Please. I'm just using his pad. - Right! 263 00:15:54,070 --> 00:15:56,160 They always have an excuse. 264 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:57,830 Let's go! 265 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,250 Move it, you little putz! 266 00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:04,210 I'm on the roof. She's pointing a gun at me... 267 00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:06,880 we're out in the cold and I'm panicked. 268 00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:09,800 I tell her a story I wrote when I was younger... 269 00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:13,380 and she found it funny, thank God. 270 00:16:13,590 --> 00:16:16,800 She laughed and relaxed and she puts the gun down. 271 00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:19,890 So your writing saved your life. 272 00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:22,100 It's amazing to me, you know? 273 00:16:23,310 --> 00:16:27,360 The interesting thing apart from the obvious sexual guilt... 274 00:16:27,770 --> 00:16:29,900 that I had when I was young in the story... 275 00:16:30,110 --> 00:16:32,110 is that nothing's changed. 276 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,950 It's years later. 277 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,410 I had a shrink then and now... 278 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,080 I'm six shrinks later... 279 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,490 I'm three wives down the line. 280 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,370 And I still can't get my love life in order. 281 00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:45,710 I still love whores. 282 00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:52,340 It's ideal. You pay them, and they come to the house... 283 00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:55,340 and you don't have to discuss Proust or films or... 284 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,470 I don't know what's happening to me. 285 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,390 I just have not grown up and I feel... 286 00:17:07,270 --> 00:17:09,400 I see other guys my age. 287 00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:11,780 I think of fucking every woman I meet. 288 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:14,150 I meet a woman in the bank... 289 00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:15,780 or on the bus... 290 00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:18,820 I think: What's she look like naked? Can I fuck her? 291 00:17:19,030 --> 00:17:20,330 This is crazy. 292 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:24,160 I see guys I know that are lawyers and doctors... 293 00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,040 with families and houses. 294 00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:27,750 They're not so... 295 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,800 Does the U.S. President want to fuck every woman he meets? 296 00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:34,170 Bad example. 297 00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:37,680 I don't know. 298 00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:39,300 Take Raoul Wallenberg... 299 00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:41,970 Did he want to bang every waitress in Europe? 300 00:17:42,180 --> 00:17:43,270 Probably not. 301 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,640 Tell me about your honoring ceremony. 302 00:17:47,140 --> 00:17:48,480 That's bullshit. 303 00:17:49,270 --> 00:17:51,820 The same school that threw me out years ago... 304 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:53,480 now wants to honor me. 305 00:17:53,690 --> 00:17:55,440 Why'd they throw you out? 306 00:17:55,690 --> 00:17:58,570 Because I was not interested in college. 307 00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:01,870 I wanted to be a writer. Writing was all I cared about. 308 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,450 I did not care about the real world. 309 00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:06,620 I cared only about the world of fiction. 310 00:18:07,370 --> 00:18:09,170 Plus I tried to give... 311 00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:12,750 the dean's wife and enema. They didn't like that. 312 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,050 The sad thing is... 313 00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:18,720 I've gotta drive way upstate to be honored... 314 00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:21,970 and I have to go alone. I got nobody to go with... 315 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,770 What about bringing your son with you? 316 00:18:29,980 --> 00:18:31,940 I can't. It's not my visiting time. 317 00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:34,320 Joan is completely inflexible, so... 318 00:18:34,690 --> 00:18:36,990 She won't trade dates with you? 319 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,990 I can't even get her on the phone. 320 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,990 She hates me and... 321 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,330 for the first time in my life I have writer's block. 322 00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:48,620 Now this, to me, is unheard of. 323 00:18:48,830 --> 00:18:51,880 I start these short stories and I can't finish them. 324 00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:54,670 I can't get into my novel... 325 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:56,920 because I took an advance. 326 00:18:59,090 --> 00:19:00,130 I don't know. 327 00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:04,720 I find I'm taking more pills and medicine and... 328 00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:08,520 You remind me of that story you were working on... 329 00:19:08,810 --> 00:19:10,100 two months ago... 330 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,560 "The Actor"... 331 00:19:12,690 --> 00:19:14,480 Something's wrong with this lens. 332 00:19:14,730 --> 00:19:16,280 This one, too? I changed lenses! 333 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,490 What do you mean? Focus is off! 334 00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:22,030 - I don't know why it's a problem. - The center's out of focus. 335 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,620 I checked all the lenses, they can't be soft. 336 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,200 Let's move it. It's late. 337 00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:28,750 I'm tryin' to shoot Mel and he's soft. 338 00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:29,750 What? 339 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,960 - Where do you rent these lenses? - The lenses are fine! 340 00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:37,130 - Mel's out of focus! - That's what I said. 341 00:19:37,340 --> 00:19:39,510 Not the lens. I mean Mel himself. 342 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,010 Let me see! Get the hell out. 343 00:19:41,470 --> 00:19:43,550 You're right. Mel's out of focus. 344 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:44,930 What are you saying? 345 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,310 I said the actor's out of focus. 346 00:19:47,510 --> 00:19:48,770 How can this be? 347 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,730 Is something wrong? 348 00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:52,270 Mel, come here. 349 00:19:52,850 --> 00:19:54,730 I don't know how to say this... 350 00:19:55,230 --> 00:19:56,520 but you're soft. 351 00:19:56,730 --> 00:19:57,980 I've gained some weight. 352 00:19:58,190 --> 00:20:00,110 It's not that. You're soft. 353 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,280 You're out of focus. 354 00:20:02,530 --> 00:20:05,320 I don't know why. Is there anything we can do? 355 00:20:05,530 --> 00:20:07,160 I can't adjust for this. 356 00:20:07,410 --> 00:20:08,620 Look at yourself. 357 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,500 You sure you're okay? 358 00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:14,580 It's fuzzy. 359 00:20:14,790 --> 00:20:15,830 All right, look... 360 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,550 Mel's out of focus. 361 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,090 You're not in focus. 362 00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:21,510 Nothing to do. 363 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,220 It's 4 o'clock, anyway. Why don't we just wrap? 364 00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:26,890 We'll wrap and we'll see what happens 365 00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:30,020 Now look. I want you to go home. 366 00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:32,390 And I want you to rest. 367 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,480 And see if you can sharpen up. 368 00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:42,320 Grace, I'm home. 369 00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:43,610 Hi, honey. 370 00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:48,410 What's the matter? You look strange. 371 00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:50,200 I'm out of focus. 372 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:51,330 Yeah... 373 00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:53,960 You are. Just a little bit. You are. 374 00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:55,620 And you look pale. 375 00:20:55,830 --> 00:20:57,500 Daddy, you're all blurry! 376 00:20:58,460 --> 00:20:59,960 Maybe you should lie down. 377 00:21:00,170 --> 00:21:02,380 - I'll bring tea and toast? - Daddy's out of focus! 378 00:21:02,590 --> 00:21:03,970 Daddy doesn't need that, okay? 379 00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:05,880 Come on now, you be nice. 380 00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:07,850 What happened at work today? 381 00:21:08,050 --> 00:21:09,680 First they thought it was the camera... 382 00:21:09,890 --> 00:21:11,600 Reuben! Stop it! 383 00:21:12,350 --> 00:21:15,100 They thought it was the camera... but it was me! 384 00:21:15,310 --> 00:21:16,650 - Really? - They send me home. 385 00:21:16,850 --> 00:21:20,610 - It's humiliating. - You eat anything strange? Shellfish? 386 00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:23,150 No. This is not an allergic reaction. 387 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:24,240 You know what? 388 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,740 I just need to get a good night's sleep. 389 00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:30,030 - I'm sure that's all it is. - What happened to you? 390 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,660 Get a good night's sleep. Turn in early... 391 00:21:32,870 --> 00:21:34,660 and tomorrow you'll be fine. 392 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,290 But the following morning things did not improve. 393 00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:40,750 In fact, the situation was worse. 394 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,460 Mel was more out of focus than ever. 395 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:45,380 I gotta get to the doctor. 396 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,800 Never seen anything like this. 397 00:21:49,260 --> 00:21:52,390 Nothing's wrong with you, except you're out of focus. 398 00:21:53,180 --> 00:21:54,220 What's the matter? 399 00:21:54,430 --> 00:21:56,980 It's from looking at Mel. I'm a little sea sick. 400 00:21:57,230 --> 00:21:59,650 That's why I want everyone to try these. 401 00:22:01,770 --> 00:22:04,110 - I don't wear glasses. - Wait, let's see. 402 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,440 I don't want glasses. 403 00:22:05,650 --> 00:22:07,990 - Put 'em on so you can see me. - Better! 404 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,200 - I look stupid with these on. - Come on. Put 'em on. 405 00:22:11,410 --> 00:22:14,410 - Daddy'll be much sharper. - Want to see Daddy? 406 00:22:14,620 --> 00:22:17,290 Put those on and we won't get headaches. 407 00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:21,750 Despite the fact children don't want to wear glasses... 408 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,170 they're forced to. 409 00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:26,510 You expect the world to adjust... 410 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,470 to the distortion you've become. 411 00:22:29,220 --> 00:22:31,140 I don't expect anything. 412 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:33,510 I'm going through something. 413 00:22:33,810 --> 00:22:37,310 For the first time in my life I can't seem to write. 414 00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:40,690 It's not coming. And for me... 415 00:22:40,980 --> 00:22:43,270 all I have in life is my imagination. 416 00:22:44,190 --> 00:22:45,780 Our time is up. 417 00:22:46,070 --> 00:22:48,240 Have fun at the honoring ceremony. 418 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:51,870 It'd be good if you took your son with you. 419 00:22:54,580 --> 00:22:55,330 Joan! 420 00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:57,910 - You never return calls. - Leave me alone! 421 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,460 - How do I reach you? - Shall I call the police? 422 00:23:00,670 --> 00:23:01,920 I've got a question. 423 00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:04,290 - Will you stop? - No. I won't listen. 424 00:23:04,630 --> 00:23:08,630 Tomorrow they honor me at my old school. I want to take Hilly. 425 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,430 - He has school tomorrow. - Trade a visitation day. 426 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,850 No! I have plans with him. 427 00:23:14,050 --> 00:23:16,100 It'd be good for him to see me honored. 428 00:23:16,310 --> 00:23:18,980 I don't want him to. I don't want him to see you ever! 429 00:23:19,140 --> 00:23:22,020 He'll have a day in the country. Will you stop? 430 00:23:22,230 --> 00:23:24,480 A day in the country. What is so bad? 431 00:23:24,730 --> 00:23:25,860 He is 9 years old. 432 00:23:26,070 --> 00:23:29,780 Where does he learn phrases like "banging beaver" and " fuck God"? 433 00:23:30,030 --> 00:23:31,280 What are you saying? From me? 434 00:23:31,490 --> 00:23:33,280 Do I look like an imbecile? 435 00:23:33,490 --> 00:23:35,120 I know your conversations with him... 436 00:23:35,330 --> 00:23:37,410 and I heard about "Open School Week". 437 00:23:37,700 --> 00:23:39,290 Beth Kramer was appalled. 438 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:41,210 Dad? 439 00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:44,170 Why doesn't my penis look like yours? 440 00:23:44,460 --> 00:23:46,750 Why doesn't your penis look like mine? 441 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,130 Because your mother and l... 442 00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:51,260 never had you circumcised. 443 00:23:51,510 --> 00:23:54,550 When I was your age, you know what kids used to do? 444 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,600 They used to name their penises. 445 00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:58,470 I'm going to name mine Dillinger. 446 00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:01,600 Dillinger is perfect! Dillinger is great! 447 00:24:01,850 --> 00:24:03,650 Hilly, you're inspired. A genius. 448 00:24:03,940 --> 00:24:07,230 Dillinger was a genius in his chosen profession... 449 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:08,730 like Willy Sutton. 450 00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:11,150 Remember how we discussed Freud once? 451 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:14,950 Freud said the two most important things in life... 452 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,910 are the work that you chose and sex. 453 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,200 Those two things. 454 00:24:19,450 --> 00:24:20,580 Women... 455 00:24:20,830 --> 00:24:22,040 are God. 456 00:24:22,330 --> 00:24:23,330 God's a woman? 457 00:24:23,580 --> 00:24:24,960 No. I'm not saying that. 458 00:24:25,210 --> 00:24:27,750 We don't know if there's a God... 459 00:24:28,170 --> 00:24:29,670 but there are women. 460 00:24:30,130 --> 00:24:32,930 Not in some imaginary heaven, but right here on earth. 461 00:24:33,260 --> 00:24:35,260 And some of them... some of them... 462 00:24:35,510 --> 00:24:37,760 shop at Victoria's Secret... 463 00:24:38,180 --> 00:24:41,980 Beth Kramer has never been so mortified in her entire life. 464 00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:45,350 Beth Kramer's atight-assed, busy body cunt... 465 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,610 and it's none of her business how I speak to my son. 466 00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,320 She is a decent parent and great friend. 467 00:24:51,650 --> 00:24:54,530 Bullshit! Just change one visitation day. 468 00:24:54,700 --> 00:24:55,910 What is so terrible? 469 00:24:56,530 --> 00:24:58,530 No! He is not going to miss school! 470 00:24:58,740 --> 00:25:01,410 If Hilly was sick he would miss school! 471 00:25:01,660 --> 00:25:04,000 Yes, he would. But he's not sick... 472 00:25:04,250 --> 00:25:07,500 and he's not spending the day with his pill-popping... 473 00:25:07,710 --> 00:25:09,090 alcoholic... 474 00:25:09,290 --> 00:25:12,050 beaver-banging excuse for a father. 475 00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:15,130 Years ago you didn't say that about me. 476 00:25:15,430 --> 00:25:18,260 - You were an easy-going spirit... - Put it in a book. 477 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:19,640 What am I saying? 478 00:25:19,890 --> 00:25:21,310 You already did. 479 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,020 "Epstein had married his third shrink. 480 00:25:25,270 --> 00:25:27,860 He'd confessed his feelings for her often. 481 00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:30,570 She seemed to put it down to transference 482 00:25:30,820 --> 00:25:33,190 But one days he surprised him." 483 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:34,700 I think it best... 484 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,660 that we terminate your treatment. 485 00:25:38,570 --> 00:25:40,240 And then, I think we should... 486 00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:43,080 give it a substantial period of time. 487 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,370 Then, if we both feel the same way... 488 00:25:46,620 --> 00:25:49,840 I think we can begin to see each other again... 489 00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:51,250 socially. 490 00:25:53,340 --> 00:25:55,170 "It was, to Epstein thinking... 491 00:25:55,380 --> 00:25:57,180 a match made in Heaven. 492 00:25:57,590 --> 00:26:00,640 Here, at last, was a woman who understood him." 493 00:26:00,890 --> 00:26:02,560 You know all my secrets, 494 00:26:02,890 --> 00:26:04,930 every nuance of my psychic life. 495 00:26:05,140 --> 00:26:08,060 I've admitted every feeling and desire in therapy. 496 00:26:08,270 --> 00:26:10,480 Now it's your turn to explore me. 497 00:26:10,650 --> 00:26:13,440 Yeah, but you accept all my perversions. 498 00:26:13,610 --> 00:26:16,280 Being tied up, watching you with other women. 499 00:26:16,490 --> 00:26:18,740 Feeling your spike heels in my mouth. 500 00:26:18,990 --> 00:26:21,410 Non one can say I didn't know... 501 00:26:21,620 --> 00:26:23,120 what I was letting myself in for. 502 00:26:25,540 --> 00:26:27,710 The first two years were amazing. 503 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,380 They moved to a West Side apartment. 504 00:26:30,670 --> 00:26:32,710 He wrote. She saw patients. 505 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,920 But her best insights were into his work. 506 00:26:36,130 --> 00:26:39,390 What one comes away with is your total isolation. 507 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:42,760 Your fear of people, your panic over closeness. 508 00:26:42,970 --> 00:26:46,020 And that's why your real life is so chaotic... 509 00:26:46,230 --> 00:26:48,060 and your writing is so much more... 510 00:26:48,310 --> 00:26:50,850 controlled and stable. You're unable to.. 511 00:26:51,230 --> 00:26:52,900 It all went quite well... 512 00:26:53,110 --> 00:26:55,780 until Helen became pregnant and gave birth. 513 00:26:56,150 --> 00:26:59,910 From then on, as if she'd had a divine revelation... 514 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,620 She became what Epstein referred to angrily... 515 00:27:03,910 --> 00:27:06,040 as "Jewish with a vengeance." 516 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:07,750 I rue the day I listened to you... 517 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,290 and I didn't have him circumcised. 518 00:27:10,710 --> 00:27:12,080 Are you nuts? 519 00:27:12,290 --> 00:27:13,630 We can still do it. 520 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:14,710 No! 521 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:16,170 He's too old. 522 00:27:16,420 --> 00:27:19,050 - Sure. Now he's too old. - What is wrong with you? 523 00:27:20,010 --> 00:27:22,800 You're like a born-again Christian except you're a Jew. 524 00:27:23,260 --> 00:27:25,560 I see my father's face in Hillel. 525 00:27:26,810 --> 00:27:29,100 Hilliard. His name is Hilliard. 526 00:27:29,350 --> 00:27:32,730 We didn't name him Hillel. Not after some rabbi. 527 00:27:33,020 --> 00:27:34,270 Hilliard Epstein. 528 00:27:34,940 --> 00:27:37,940 I'm sick of smug cynicism. There's value in tradition. 529 00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:41,660 I thought it meant nothing, but now that I'm a mother, it does. 530 00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:45,660 I see not only meaning in Judaism, but true beauty. 531 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,540 You're a scientist! 532 00:27:47,750 --> 00:27:49,040 Einstein was a scientist! 533 00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:51,500 And he was a Jew! And he was religious! 534 00:27:52,250 --> 00:27:55,670 "Helen had taken on the obligation of daily prayers. 535 00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:59,670 Jews, of course, fearing a wrathful and vengeful god... 536 00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:02,760 give praise and thanks for everything." 537 00:28:02,970 --> 00:28:05,970 Baruch atah adonai elohenu melech ha-olam... 538 00:28:06,260 --> 00:28:07,890 borei pree hagofen. 539 00:28:10,810 --> 00:28:12,140 Hamotzi lechem... 540 00:28:12,350 --> 00:28:13,980 min ha-oretz. 541 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,440 Vitzi-vonu l'hadlik nair shel shabat. 542 00:28:17,900 --> 00:28:20,280 Boreh pree ha... blowjob. 543 00:28:21,610 --> 00:28:24,200 And one day the inevitable happened. 544 00:28:24,450 --> 00:28:26,990 A patient of Helen's, an Israeli... 545 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,750 who had come to her, depressed that his wife had left him... 546 00:28:30,950 --> 00:28:32,750 captured Helen's heart." 547 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,290 I think it best... 548 00:28:34,540 --> 00:28:36,540 that we terminate your treatment, 549 00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:38,250 give it a substantial time. 550 00:28:38,710 --> 00:28:40,920 Then, if we feel the same way... 551 00:28:41,170 --> 00:28:43,090 start to see each other... 552 00:28:43,430 --> 00:28:44,550 socially. 553 00:28:53,350 --> 00:28:54,730 Lost in thought, I think. 554 00:28:54,940 --> 00:28:58,110 I was just, I was thinking about a book I wrote. 555 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,190 - Well, I'm a mess. - What's the matter? 556 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,450 I'm going to the doctor. I have pains in my chest. 557 00:29:04,490 --> 00:29:05,610 It's nothing. 558 00:29:05,860 --> 00:29:08,780 It's indigestion or gall bladder or acid reflux... 559 00:29:09,030 --> 00:29:12,370 I've got a family history. My dad died of heart attack... 560 00:29:12,580 --> 00:29:14,500 my mother died of a massive coronary. 561 00:29:14,750 --> 00:29:18,000 Both brothers died before they were 50 from heart failure. 562 00:29:18,670 --> 00:29:21,130 Why waste time talking? Get an ambulance. 563 00:29:21,380 --> 00:29:22,630 Are you busy? 564 00:29:23,340 --> 00:29:24,880 I was going to see my editor. 565 00:29:25,220 --> 00:29:26,800 I just hate going alone. 566 00:29:27,260 --> 00:29:30,350 My mother died giving birth to me. 567 00:29:30,930 --> 00:29:33,140 For which my father never forgave me. 568 00:29:33,390 --> 00:29:37,190 It's funny. I wish before he died, I had forgiven him. 569 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,610 But we're morbid. You think you're dying but you're not. 570 00:29:40,980 --> 00:29:43,110 Today they got lasers, all kinds of... 571 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,030 Yeah, you and science, right? 572 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:47,610 Nothing wrong with science. 573 00:29:48,030 --> 00:29:51,240 Between air-conditioning and the Pope, I'll take air-conditioning. 574 00:29:51,540 --> 00:29:53,660 I'm scared. I'm really scared. 575 00:29:53,910 --> 00:29:57,710 Can I change the subject? You know I have writer's block? 576 00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:58,670 I know. 577 00:29:58,880 --> 00:29:59,710 I have a writer's block. 578 00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:01,250 First time in my life... 579 00:30:01,460 --> 00:30:04,590 I can't come up with an idea, something to hold my interest. 580 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,430 Since Fay left you you've been having trouble. 581 00:30:07,630 --> 00:30:09,680 I'm seeing Fay later for a drink. 582 00:30:09,890 --> 00:30:11,720 I think is very good. 583 00:30:11,970 --> 00:30:14,980 She's good for you. She's a lot better than... 584 00:30:15,310 --> 00:30:17,560 a lot of those other crazies that... 585 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,150 My God! My arm! 586 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,900 I'm telling you it's nothing. Nothing. 587 00:30:23,650 --> 00:30:25,070 I'm not scared. 588 00:30:26,110 --> 00:30:28,030 - You're in great shape. - Really? 589 00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:31,530 You just have a little bursitis in your arm. 590 00:30:31,740 --> 00:30:34,370 That's fantastic! My God, thank you! 591 00:30:34,620 --> 00:30:37,670 The loveliest words to hear are not, "l love you"... 592 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,120 but "It's benign." 593 00:30:39,330 --> 00:30:41,880 We could do more tests, but I don't think so. 594 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,630 Your heart's in great shape. 595 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,470 I hurt my back some weeks a go opening a sub-zero refrigerator. 596 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,140 - Let me buy a cup of coffee. - Let me schedule you. 597 00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:52,890 - No. I don't have time. - Let me schedule you. 598 00:30:53,060 --> 00:30:54,520 What are you doing tomorrow? 599 00:30:54,850 --> 00:30:55,970 I'm busy. Why? 600 00:30:56,180 --> 00:30:59,100 I'm going to my old school. The honoring me. 601 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,020 I'd like someone to come with me. 602 00:31:01,230 --> 00:31:03,270 I can't get out of this thing... 603 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:05,690 but that's great. 604 00:31:05,940 --> 00:31:07,110 Congratulations. 605 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,840 - You look great. - Thank you. 606 00:31:28,090 --> 00:31:29,340 You look a little tired. 607 00:31:29,630 --> 00:31:32,590 I'm struggling with this book. 608 00:31:32,890 --> 00:31:35,220 Naturally, I spent the advance... 609 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,310 and I'm having a tough... 610 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:40,100 a tough time. 611 00:31:40,310 --> 00:31:42,350 I wanted to have this drink because... 612 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:43,860 Can I get a red wine? 613 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,070 Same thing she has, please? 614 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,780 I wanted to be the first to tell you that... 615 00:31:49,030 --> 00:31:50,450 I'm getting married. 616 00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:53,280 Don't say that! 617 00:31:53,490 --> 00:31:55,160 - Why? - What do you mean? 618 00:31:55,370 --> 00:31:56,080 Because... 619 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,660 I love you. How can you get married? 620 00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:00,910 Don't! 621 00:32:01,170 --> 00:32:03,040 - Who? Is it Larry? - Yes, it's Larry! 622 00:32:03,250 --> 00:32:04,420 I knew it! 623 00:32:04,670 --> 00:32:07,090 I don't fucking believe this! 624 00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:10,010 This guy's allegedly a friend of mine. 625 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,050 It's the Devil. And I introduced you. 626 00:32:13,260 --> 00:32:16,060 When Larry's around. I smell burning sulfur. 627 00:32:16,890 --> 00:32:19,060 Can we have your blessing? 628 00:32:19,310 --> 00:32:22,560 No! You certainly don't have my blessing! 629 00:32:22,770 --> 00:32:24,810 I don't want you to get married. 630 00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:26,610 I don't want you to. 631 00:32:27,020 --> 00:32:27,900 I should go. 632 00:32:28,110 --> 00:32:29,150 I was your pupil. 633 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,110 It was Henry Higgins and Eliza Doolittle. 634 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,450 That's what it was, and that's what you loved. 635 00:32:34,740 --> 00:32:37,790 But it didn't work that way. What can I say? 636 00:32:37,990 --> 00:32:39,700 Why did you fall in love with me? 637 00:32:39,910 --> 00:32:43,830 You gave me endless lectures on love in the Western world. 638 00:32:44,330 --> 00:32:48,000 I didn't think I could. I thought I was too damaged. 639 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,840 I woke up one morning, and I looked at you over breakfast... 640 00:32:54,260 --> 00:32:56,140 and I thought to myself... 641 00:32:56,390 --> 00:32:58,680 God, this is what they mean. 642 00:32:58,930 --> 00:33:00,720 This is what they were talking about. 643 00:33:01,020 --> 00:33:03,850 All those warnings not to fall in love with you! 644 00:33:04,060 --> 00:33:06,310 But then I fell in love with you. 645 00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,570 Thought you were another jerk fan... 646 00:33:08,860 --> 00:33:10,070 I'd fuck you... 647 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,450 and move on to the next fan. But that didn't happen. 648 00:33:14,410 --> 00:33:15,950 You were a fan... 649 00:33:16,950 --> 00:33:18,450 and a follower... 650 00:33:18,700 --> 00:33:19,990 and then a pupil... 651 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,290 and then you were a roommate. 652 00:33:22,540 --> 00:33:24,160 And before I knew it... 653 00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:27,670 you had control of the channel changer. 654 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,180 I loved you. 655 00:33:35,590 --> 00:33:37,300 I was in awe of you. 656 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,260 But it wasn't in love with you. 657 00:33:41,350 --> 00:33:45,230 My old university is honoring me, if you can believe that. 658 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,400 Come with me, let me try to talk you out of it... 659 00:33:48,650 --> 00:33:49,900 Just one day. 660 00:33:50,110 --> 00:33:51,780 I'm getting married tomorrow. 661 00:33:52,110 --> 00:33:55,530 - Tomorrow? The day I'm honored? - Yes! Tomorrow! 662 00:33:55,780 --> 00:33:57,490 I can't fucking believe this. 663 00:33:57,740 --> 00:33:59,660 You're getting married tomorrow? 664 00:33:59,910 --> 00:34:01,910 Yes. It's been planned for months! 665 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:03,370 Don't do it! 666 00:34:10,170 --> 00:34:12,210 "While Goldberg was asleep one night... 667 00:34:12,420 --> 00:34:14,510 the devil entered his apartment... 668 00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:16,800 abducted his beautiful blonde love... 669 00:34:17,050 --> 00:34:18,390 and took her to hell. 670 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,390 The next morning... 671 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:24,100 Goldberg noticed the odd smell of burning sulfur". 672 00:34:29,900 --> 00:34:31,020 Harry Block? 673 00:34:31,770 --> 00:34:32,940 You're Cookie? 674 00:34:33,230 --> 00:34:34,320 Cookie Williams. 675 00:34:34,490 --> 00:34:36,070 You wanted me here at ten? 676 00:34:43,450 --> 00:34:45,410 You wanna, shall we get to it? 677 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:48,330 You don't want to talk a little first? 678 00:34:49,210 --> 00:34:50,580 Talk? Why? 679 00:34:51,170 --> 00:34:53,750 Really? Most guys don't like to jump into bed... 680 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,920 without talking. They think it's too businesslike. 681 00:34:57,420 --> 00:34:58,380 Not me. I'm not... 682 00:34:58,630 --> 00:34:59,930 that you'd tie me up. 683 00:35:00,140 --> 00:35:03,680 Whatever you want! Let's settle the monetary part and then relax. 684 00:35:03,930 --> 00:35:05,100 Absolutely. 685 00:35:05,310 --> 00:35:06,890 - You get $200? - That's right. 686 00:35:07,180 --> 00:35:09,190 So you want me to tie you up? 687 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:10,600 Yeah, tie me up. 688 00:35:10,850 --> 00:35:12,110 I'd like you to hit me... 689 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:13,980 and give me a blowjob. 690 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,150 A blowjob, then you hit you. 691 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:17,400 No. 692 00:35:17,610 --> 00:35:19,200 Hit me and then the blowjob. 693 00:35:19,410 --> 00:35:21,160 If the order's not right, it's no fun. 694 00:35:21,370 --> 00:35:23,580 Tie me up, hit me, give me a blowjob. 695 00:35:23,780 --> 00:35:25,160 What should I tie you with? 696 00:35:25,830 --> 00:35:28,830 The truth is I thought you were going to wear stockings. 697 00:35:29,500 --> 00:35:32,000 Cookie, you're a definite artist. 698 00:35:32,250 --> 00:35:34,630 They should put your lips in the Smithsonian. 699 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,460 It took you awhile. I didn't think you'd make it. 700 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,260 I was having a little problem focusing. 701 00:35:40,510 --> 00:35:42,720 Finally, I got the right fantasy. 702 00:35:42,930 --> 00:35:45,640 I thought of a woman I saw in the Sixth Avenue... 703 00:35:45,850 --> 00:35:48,180 and I coupled her with Svetlana Stalin. 704 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,100 It's the daughter of the dictator. It worked. 705 00:35:51,310 --> 00:35:53,520 What do you take medicine for? 706 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,150 Me? Depression. 707 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,110 What are you depressed about? 708 00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,780 Depressed. Don't you ever get depressed? 709 00:36:01,030 --> 00:36:02,990 Doesn't your work get you down? 710 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,830 It's okay. Beats the hell out of waitressing. 711 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:07,040 It's funny. 712 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:10,830 Every hooker I meet says it beats the hell out of waitressing. 713 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,920 Waitressing's got to be the worst job in the world. 714 00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:15,380 It's unbelievable. 715 00:36:15,590 --> 00:36:17,130 What are you sad about? 716 00:36:18,090 --> 00:36:20,550 I'm spiritually bankrupt. I'm empty. 717 00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:22,260 What do you mean? 718 00:36:22,510 --> 00:36:24,010 I'm frightened. 719 00:36:25,220 --> 00:36:27,310 I got no soul. Know what I mean? 720 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,640 See, when I was younger, it was less scary... 721 00:36:30,930 --> 00:36:33,730 waiting for Lefty than it is waiting for Godot. 722 00:36:34,150 --> 00:36:35,360 You lost me. 723 00:36:35,610 --> 00:36:39,610 You know that the universe is coming apart? 724 00:36:39,820 --> 00:36:41,950 You know what a black hole is? 725 00:36:42,150 --> 00:36:44,570 Yeah. That's how I make my living. 726 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,790 I gotta tell you, a great writer named Sophocles... 727 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,040 said it was probably best not to be born at all. 728 00:36:52,290 --> 00:36:54,330 Honey, it's a little too late for that. 729 00:36:54,790 --> 00:36:58,710 I didn't want to come out. They had to come in and get me. 730 00:37:00,050 --> 00:37:01,840 You want another blowjob? 731 00:37:03,220 --> 00:37:04,180 How come? 732 00:37:04,390 --> 00:37:05,890 On the house. No charge. 733 00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:09,260 Because them pills you takin' sure ain't working. 734 00:37:09,470 --> 00:37:11,730 I'm just in a peculiar mood tonight. 735 00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:14,480 Because I had some bad news today. 736 00:37:15,060 --> 00:37:17,730 Let me ask you, what are you doing tomorrow. 737 00:37:18,570 --> 00:37:19,650 Hustlin'. 738 00:37:20,070 --> 00:37:22,440 Yeah? Why don't you come with me? 739 00:37:22,650 --> 00:37:23,530 Where? 740 00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:26,950 I'm going to my old school. They're honoring me. 741 00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:28,990 I got nobody to share it with. 742 00:37:29,490 --> 00:37:31,450 I'm serious. Come with me. 743 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,830 I'll give you 500 bucks. 744 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,130 Sleep here, come up with me tomorrow. 745 00:37:36,460 --> 00:37:37,920 Why you got all this money? 746 00:37:38,130 --> 00:37:40,300 I always have hooker money because... 747 00:37:40,500 --> 00:37:43,920 I once paid by check years ago and the IRS killed me. 748 00:37:57,690 --> 00:38:00,730 Fay, when you get this message, if it's not too late... 749 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:02,690 don't get married... 750 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:04,700 because I love you... 751 00:38:06,030 --> 00:38:07,610 and I want to marry you. 752 00:38:09,870 --> 00:38:11,740 I was looking at... 753 00:38:11,990 --> 00:38:13,540 my last book... 754 00:38:13,750 --> 00:38:15,540 at the part where we met. 755 00:38:17,170 --> 00:38:20,290 I tried to exaggerate it to make it funny... 756 00:38:20,540 --> 00:38:22,960 but it was actually very romantic. 757 00:38:25,170 --> 00:38:26,800 - She can't hear. - I'm in town. 758 00:38:27,090 --> 00:38:29,930 Norman's meeting me for "Les Mis." I have a free hour. 759 00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:32,600 I don't know if I can. 760 00:38:32,810 --> 00:38:36,270 I got our usual place at the Wyndham. It's been 2 weeks ago. 761 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:41,400 We gotta be fast. I can't make it believable for so long. 762 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:47,860 You'll be back in an hour. 763 00:38:48,070 --> 00:38:49,950 I have to be done by then anyway. 764 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:55,750 Think I'll take a walk. 765 00:38:56,410 --> 00:38:57,410 Now? 766 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:01,460 Yes, I thought that I would just... 767 00:39:02,630 --> 00:39:04,670 just get some fresh air. 768 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,130 Okay. 769 00:39:36,290 --> 00:39:37,620 Excuse me. 770 00:39:37,910 --> 00:39:39,710 Are you Harry Block? 771 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:40,750 Yes. 772 00:39:41,790 --> 00:39:45,380 - Your writings so meaningful to me. - Thank you. 773 00:39:45,750 --> 00:39:48,220 I can't believe I'm in the elevator with you. 774 00:39:48,670 --> 00:39:50,220 It's no big deal. 775 00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:52,300 Are you staying here? 776 00:39:52,720 --> 00:39:54,970 No. I'm meeting someone. 777 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:07,610 What is this? 778 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:09,740 It's stuck again. 779 00:40:10,490 --> 00:40:14,410 If this was one of my stories, this elevator would get stuck... 780 00:40:14,660 --> 00:40:18,290 and you and I would start a major affair, and fall in love. 781 00:40:29,170 --> 00:40:31,720 Promise you won't fall in love with me. 782 00:40:32,260 --> 00:40:33,050 No? 783 00:40:34,260 --> 00:40:36,600 Definitely not. Not a good idea. 784 00:40:36,850 --> 00:40:37,680 Why? 785 00:40:38,060 --> 00:40:38,930 Because... 786 00:40:39,220 --> 00:40:41,060 I'm too screwed up. 787 00:40:42,770 --> 00:40:43,770 I have... 788 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,360 too many quirks. 789 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,740 I have trouble being faithful. 790 00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:55,200 I have too many phobias. I'm crazy. 791 00:40:55,530 --> 00:40:58,200 Yeah, but I fell in love with you before I met you. 792 00:40:58,910 --> 00:41:00,500 When I read you. 793 00:41:00,830 --> 00:41:03,040 Yes, but you fell in love with my work. 794 00:41:03,620 --> 00:41:05,460 That's a different thing. 795 00:41:06,250 --> 00:41:09,590 I love your work. I love your imagination. 796 00:41:10,130 --> 00:41:11,340 I love it. 797 00:41:11,670 --> 00:41:15,180 But this is not a book. You know what I mean. 798 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:19,260 We're not characters in a fictional thing. 799 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,730 - So don't fall in love with me. - Kiss me. 800 00:41:23,020 --> 00:41:25,600 - Promise you won't. - No, kiss me. 801 00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:28,150 I promise. 802 00:41:43,910 --> 00:41:44,870 Thank you. 803 00:41:48,420 --> 00:41:50,840 The subway took forever. Sorry. 804 00:41:51,630 --> 00:41:53,550 You said you weren't coming. 805 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:54,720 What do you mean? 806 00:41:54,970 --> 00:41:56,800 - We said 10. I'm sure. - No. 807 00:41:57,010 --> 00:41:59,560 I called last night, to say I got out of my thing. 808 00:41:59,850 --> 00:42:01,020 You called? When? 809 00:42:01,220 --> 00:42:03,600 At 9.30 last night. You don't remember? 810 00:42:03,810 --> 00:42:05,310 I interrupted you writing. 811 00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,110 - We spoke on the phone. - Absolutely. 812 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:10,730 My mind has been playing tricks. 813 00:42:10,980 --> 00:42:12,820 This is Cookie Williams, Richard. 814 00:42:13,030 --> 00:42:14,240 How ya doing? 815 00:42:14,450 --> 00:42:15,570 What's so special about this honor? 816 00:42:15,780 --> 00:42:18,620 He's being honored by the school that expelled him. 817 00:42:18,820 --> 00:42:21,200 If only Hilly could see me, he'd be so proud. 818 00:42:21,410 --> 00:42:24,910 It's sad, but short of kidnapping, he ain't coming. 819 00:42:26,670 --> 00:42:27,620 Oh, dear! 820 00:42:37,970 --> 00:42:38,890 Dad? 821 00:42:39,350 --> 00:42:41,890 - Hilly, Where you going? - What are you doing? 822 00:42:42,720 --> 00:42:43,640 Stop it! 823 00:42:43,850 --> 00:42:44,770 It's an emergency. 824 00:42:44,980 --> 00:42:47,190 What are you doing? Come on! 825 00:42:48,850 --> 00:42:50,230 You can't do this! 826 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,110 Hilly, get out of the car! 827 00:42:54,610 --> 00:42:56,950 Somebody stop this man! He's a deviant! 828 00:42:57,450 --> 00:42:58,820 Somebody stop him! 829 00:42:59,070 --> 00:43:00,660 Somebody call the police! 830 00:43:28,060 --> 00:43:30,150 - It's fabulous up here. - Beautiful. 831 00:43:30,350 --> 00:43:32,020 Look, a ferris wheel! 832 00:43:32,940 --> 00:43:34,610 - Look at the swings! - Want to go? 833 00:43:34,820 --> 00:43:35,440 Yeah! 834 00:43:41,950 --> 00:43:43,370 Very good! 835 00:43:44,620 --> 00:43:46,040 Would you like this? 836 00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:49,160 Dad, high-five! 837 00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:57,130 You want some of this joint? 838 00:43:57,340 --> 00:43:59,340 No. I can't stand that stuff. 839 00:44:00,180 --> 00:44:01,890 You see that place there? 840 00:44:02,090 --> 00:44:03,640 That Red Apple Rest? 841 00:44:04,180 --> 00:44:05,390 Years ago... 842 00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,770 my then wife, Jane, and l... 843 00:44:08,270 --> 00:44:11,100 were coming back from her sister's house... 844 00:44:11,350 --> 00:44:12,600 and we had a fight. 845 00:44:12,810 --> 00:44:16,150 She had her period, and we stopped to get water for Midol. 846 00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,110 I don't want a child! 847 00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:20,610 And don't bring it up in front of my parents! 848 00:44:20,860 --> 00:44:23,780 - I don't understand. - We've discussed it! 849 00:44:24,030 --> 00:44:26,200 - Don't I get a vote? - You have a child! 850 00:44:26,410 --> 00:44:29,080 - Who I never get to see! - That's not my fault! 851 00:44:29,330 --> 00:44:30,790 I like being a father. 852 00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:33,920 I'm not Lucy. You knew that when you married me! 853 00:44:34,130 --> 00:44:36,710 So your work means no children. 854 00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,760 Since when are you a family man? 855 00:44:39,010 --> 00:44:41,970 Don't think I don't see you staring at my sister Lucy. 856 00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:42,970 What? 857 00:44:43,430 --> 00:44:44,890 Don't play ignorant. 858 00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:46,760 You watch her walk and sit. 859 00:44:46,970 --> 00:44:49,020 You can't keep your eyes off her toes! 860 00:44:49,220 --> 00:44:52,390 Are you fucking nuts? What are you suggesting? 861 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:56,400 I wouldn't put it past you if you wanted to have a thing with her. 862 00:44:57,150 --> 00:44:59,610 She's a neurotic, suburban Hausfrau! 863 00:44:59,860 --> 00:45:02,240 I have no interest in her. Zero. Nothing. 864 00:45:02,490 --> 00:45:04,870 You're level of denial is a little intense. 865 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:08,370 You're suffering from a pre-menstrual nuclear melt down. 866 00:45:09,580 --> 00:45:10,660 You want a hit? 867 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,750 No. That smoke is killing me. 868 00:45:16,460 --> 00:45:19,250 I'm going to go to the bathroom. Catch you later. 869 00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,730 Cold fish, your third ex-wife. 870 00:45:35,980 --> 00:45:38,110 She never would have made a good mother. 871 00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:39,690 Who are you? 872 00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,150 It's me. Ken! 873 00:45:44,990 --> 00:45:48,740 Look at this guy! You created me, now you don't recognize me? 874 00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,870 I'm a little bit high because of her smoke... 875 00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:54,120 How'd you ever hook up with Jane? 876 00:45:54,460 --> 00:45:58,040 Jane was fine. Jane was just having her period. She was... 877 00:45:58,340 --> 00:46:00,130 It wasn't just her period. 878 00:46:00,340 --> 00:46:02,510 She was a cold, selfish woman. 879 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:06,720 She's so self-involved she doesn't realize her sister hates her. 880 00:46:07,390 --> 00:46:09,180 How do you know so much? 881 00:46:09,930 --> 00:46:12,430 I'm just you, thinly disguised. 882 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:16,020 You gave me a little more maturity and a different name. 883 00:46:16,900 --> 00:46:19,020 Are you saying that I know this? 884 00:46:19,230 --> 00:46:20,980 Yes! That's why you picked her! 885 00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,900 So it wouldn't work, and you'd never have to give up... 886 00:46:24,150 --> 00:46:27,820 sport-fucking and chronic dissatisfaction and grow up. 887 00:46:28,070 --> 00:46:31,450 I won't stand here and get lectured by my own creation. 888 00:46:31,660 --> 00:46:33,120 You can't fool me. 889 00:46:33,620 --> 00:46:36,830 I'm not your shrink. He only knows what you tell him. 890 00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:38,040 I know the truth. 891 00:46:38,250 --> 00:46:40,040 And her sister, Lucy. 892 00:46:40,250 --> 00:46:41,630 Another head-case. 893 00:46:42,460 --> 00:46:44,170 You sure can pick them. 894 00:46:44,510 --> 00:46:46,430 But even she was better than Jane. 895 00:46:46,630 --> 00:46:49,090 More maternal and she loved you. 896 00:46:49,510 --> 00:46:52,390 You weren't there the day your bomb dropped on her... 897 00:46:52,770 --> 00:46:53,810 but take a look. 898 00:46:56,390 --> 00:46:57,690 He left me! 899 00:46:57,900 --> 00:46:59,940 Our marriage is finished! 900 00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:02,690 I'm sorry to hear that. 901 00:47:03,110 --> 00:47:04,320 You shocked? 902 00:47:04,530 --> 00:47:05,610 Yes and no. 903 00:47:06,530 --> 00:47:09,620 Things have not been very good for some time. 904 00:47:09,820 --> 00:47:11,660 I knew he played around. 905 00:47:12,410 --> 00:47:14,620 Did you? You never mentioned that. 906 00:47:14,870 --> 00:47:17,750 I don't like to discuss my private life. 907 00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:21,130 First suspected Lynn, his editor. Then I thought... 908 00:47:21,420 --> 00:47:24,800 it might be Allison Davis, a friend of ours. 909 00:47:25,130 --> 00:47:28,010 I even thought he might have a crush on you. 910 00:47:28,590 --> 00:47:29,680 Me? 911 00:47:30,140 --> 00:47:33,930 You're beautiful and we've spent a lot of time together... 912 00:47:34,180 --> 00:47:36,390 and you two get along very well. 913 00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:40,480 Obviously I knew you never would in a million years... 914 00:47:41,190 --> 00:47:43,980 but I imagined he longed for you. 915 00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:48,070 I even heard him mention your name in his sleep once. 916 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:50,530 My goodness. 917 00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:56,410 That's absurd! 918 00:47:58,250 --> 00:47:59,710 Really! 919 00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:02,500 You're all red! 920 00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:03,590 No! 921 00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,220 Are you okay? 922 00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:13,180 Since we're talking openly... 923 00:48:14,470 --> 00:48:16,770 I have a confession to make. 924 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:18,390 Yes? 925 00:48:22,100 --> 00:48:25,940 Life sometimes takes very strange twists and turns. 926 00:48:26,230 --> 00:48:29,280 It overwhelms us, and we can't help our feelings. 927 00:48:29,530 --> 00:48:30,950 Our feelings are irrational. 928 00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:34,620 But to hear from your husband that he found another woman! 929 00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:37,490 He said that? 930 00:48:37,700 --> 00:48:40,290 He said his future is all mapped out. 931 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,510 I'm going to be totally frank with you. 932 00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:51,630 - Try to hang on and understand. - What? I'm being replaced. 933 00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:53,640 But it doesn't have to be a nightmare... 934 00:48:53,890 --> 00:48:56,180 if we're all just mature about it. 935 00:48:56,390 --> 00:48:58,470 Replaced by a 25-year-old. 936 00:49:00,310 --> 00:49:02,140 - Excuse me? - A 25-year-old. 937 00:49:02,350 --> 00:49:06,020 A wanna-be writer. Fay Sexton is her sexy name. 938 00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:10,820 What's the matter? Now you're white! 939 00:49:13,860 --> 00:49:16,530 Lucy have you eaten anything today? 940 00:49:19,660 --> 00:49:21,910 Have a drink. Finish that. 941 00:49:22,790 --> 00:49:25,960 - How could I believe such a liar. - I'm weak! 942 00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,380 What's wrong? 943 00:49:31,670 --> 00:49:34,010 You'd think he dumped you. 944 00:49:34,220 --> 00:49:37,390 - You feel bad, but can handle it. - Air! 945 00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:39,970 I'm in shock today, but... 946 00:49:41,100 --> 00:49:42,940 I want to speak to Fay. 947 00:49:43,020 --> 00:49:45,690 It's Harry Block. I've been trying to reach her. 948 00:49:46,230 --> 00:49:49,110 No, it's an emergency. I gotta talk... 949 00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:52,950 Tell her to call me back. It's the car number. 950 00:49:53,150 --> 00:49:54,450 Yes. The car! 951 00:49:54,660 --> 00:49:57,950 - She's in love with someone else. - This guy is too old for her. 952 00:49:58,200 --> 00:49:59,540 Younger than you. 953 00:49:59,790 --> 00:50:02,500 I'm much too old for her. It's ridiculous. 954 00:50:02,710 --> 00:50:06,540 - But my immaturity makes me boyish. - Is it much longer, Dad? 955 00:50:06,750 --> 00:50:09,250 - We just got done at the fair. - You're speeding. 956 00:50:09,500 --> 00:50:12,340 - About how much longer is it? - It won't be long. 957 00:50:12,630 --> 00:50:15,760 Okay, my sister lives ten minutes from here. 958 00:50:16,010 --> 00:50:17,890 We'll surprise her. It'll be fun. 959 00:50:18,140 --> 00:50:20,640 - You can eat and walk around. - She's your half-sister. 960 00:50:20,890 --> 00:50:23,140 But it'll still be 10 minutes... 961 00:50:23,390 --> 00:50:25,690 not 5, 'cause she's a half-sister. 962 00:50:30,570 --> 00:50:31,730 It's wonderful! 963 00:50:32,900 --> 00:50:34,570 - It is so funny. - Do you think? 964 00:50:34,780 --> 00:50:36,530 - And it's so sad. - You're so sweet. 965 00:50:36,780 --> 00:50:37,610 I love it. 966 00:50:37,870 --> 00:50:40,030 You're so great. You're so kind to me. 967 00:50:40,330 --> 00:50:43,500 You have such a sweet, kind instinct. 968 00:50:44,410 --> 00:50:46,170 Don't do that. 969 00:50:46,790 --> 00:50:49,130 I count on you to be critical... 970 00:50:49,420 --> 00:50:52,500 to really be tough. You're too easy on me. 971 00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:54,170 What's wrong with this? 972 00:50:54,380 --> 00:50:56,470 What's wrong is that it had... 973 00:50:56,720 --> 00:50:58,300 it had no energy. 974 00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:00,510 I became discouraged with it. 975 00:51:00,970 --> 00:51:03,560 It doesn't release any power. It's nothing. 976 00:51:03,770 --> 00:51:06,440 I thought it was really touching. 977 00:51:06,850 --> 00:51:09,980 You knew when the boy grew up he would never learn to love. 978 00:51:10,650 --> 00:51:12,610 I think your problem is... 979 00:51:12,820 --> 00:51:15,150 that you love too easily, and too much. 980 00:51:15,490 --> 00:51:18,280 I think you're beautiful, and great... 981 00:51:18,700 --> 00:51:21,330 and too kind to me, and lovely. 982 00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:24,500 But you're not in love with me. 983 00:51:24,790 --> 00:51:28,170 I told you not to fall in love with me. 984 00:51:28,580 --> 00:51:31,710 But still haven't figured out why. 985 00:51:32,460 --> 00:51:35,800 Why? Because I'm the boy in that story... 986 00:51:36,090 --> 00:51:37,630 and I can't love. 987 00:51:38,130 --> 00:51:40,140 So, I don't want you to get into anything. 988 00:51:40,430 --> 00:51:42,100 You love Hilly. 989 00:51:42,810 --> 00:51:43,970 What? 990 00:51:44,220 --> 00:51:45,720 You love Hilly. 991 00:51:48,390 --> 00:51:50,230 Sure. I love Hilly. 992 00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:53,400 He's my son. It's easy to love a little kid. 993 00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:55,900 You love music. 994 00:51:56,570 --> 00:51:58,570 And you love baseball. 995 00:51:58,860 --> 00:52:02,200 Baseball's also easy, because it has rules, foul lines... 996 00:52:02,530 --> 00:52:04,870 but women are complicated. 997 00:52:07,540 --> 00:52:08,710 Happy birthday. 998 00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:10,290 You're kidding! 999 00:52:10,540 --> 00:52:11,670 Come on, open it up. 1000 00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,750 You didn't have to get me anything. 1001 00:52:16,090 --> 00:52:17,800 Another sweater, right? 1002 00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:23,010 A baseball signed by the 1951 Giants. 1003 00:52:23,260 --> 00:52:25,180 Really! That's so great! 1004 00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,520 Bobby Thomson! 1005 00:52:27,810 --> 00:52:30,600 They were the one genuine miracle of my lifetime! 1006 00:52:30,850 --> 00:52:32,650 When he hit that home run... 1007 00:52:32,860 --> 00:52:36,110 it was the only hint I've had there may be a God. 1008 00:52:38,570 --> 00:52:40,280 What made you think of it? 1009 00:52:40,900 --> 00:52:42,530 It was easy. 1010 00:52:44,530 --> 00:52:46,160 You are the greatest. 1011 00:52:46,370 --> 00:52:48,580 It's your birthday, so you get a wish. 1012 00:52:48,870 --> 00:52:52,120 Anything at all that'll make your day special. 1013 00:52:53,500 --> 00:52:56,670 You are the greatest. I don't deserve you. 1014 00:52:57,130 --> 00:52:58,300 You're too... 1015 00:52:58,550 --> 00:52:59,670 Too what? 1016 00:53:08,020 --> 00:53:10,810 - We thought we'd stop in to see you. - Come in! 1017 00:53:11,020 --> 00:53:13,520 This is Richard. This is Cookie. 1018 00:53:13,940 --> 00:53:16,110 I'm your Aunt Doris. You won't remember me. 1019 00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:17,820 Remember Uncle Burt? 1020 00:53:18,030 --> 00:53:19,610 You haven't seen him in awhile. 1021 00:53:19,820 --> 00:53:21,030 It's been a long while. 1022 00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:24,490 Something to eat? A cookie or something? 1023 00:53:24,700 --> 00:53:26,200 Come in the kitchen. 1024 00:53:26,950 --> 00:53:29,620 I gotta go to the bathroom. Where's the john? 1025 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,750 The bathroom! You just go right through there. 1026 00:53:33,460 --> 00:53:35,330 So, I thought we'd drop in. 1027 00:53:38,500 --> 00:53:41,470 You're the last person I ever expected to see. 1028 00:53:41,720 --> 00:53:43,430 Don't say that, Doris. 1029 00:53:43,630 --> 00:53:46,430 - And what's with Cookie? - Cookie's the nanny. 1030 00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:49,100 You get her from an agency or massage parlor? 1031 00:53:49,310 --> 00:53:51,230 What are you picking on... 1032 00:53:51,430 --> 00:53:54,810 Still with the sex pots, the tramps, the vilda chayes. 1033 00:53:55,060 --> 00:53:56,770 She's got a Ph.D. 1034 00:53:57,020 --> 00:54:00,730 I bet she got an "A" on her oral exam. 1035 00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:03,570 Give me a break! I drive upstate... 1036 00:54:03,780 --> 00:54:06,370 and take the time to drop in to say hello. 1037 00:54:06,620 --> 00:54:09,660 Can you believe they're honoring me at Adair? I can't. 1038 00:54:09,950 --> 00:54:13,370 Not that I care, but it's great for Hilly to see me. 1039 00:54:13,660 --> 00:54:16,250 The last time I saw him he was six years old. 1040 00:54:16,500 --> 00:54:18,790 You don't exactly contact me either. 1041 00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:20,550 I know what you think of me. 1042 00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:23,170 Please Doris, don't start in. 1043 00:54:23,420 --> 00:54:25,510 Am I wrong? It's all in your book. 1044 00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:28,140 "Too Jewish", "professional Jewish". 1045 00:54:28,390 --> 00:54:32,390 You attributed it to your ex-wife, but used the details of my life... 1046 00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:34,940 to depict her with contempt. 1047 00:54:35,140 --> 00:54:38,480 - What are you talking about? - What am I talking about? 1048 00:54:38,730 --> 00:54:40,820 You portrayed your 'ex' as a horror. 1049 00:54:41,030 --> 00:54:44,530 And to make her unsympathetic, you used some of her, 1050 00:54:44,740 --> 00:54:48,410 but mostly you caricatured my religious dedication. 1051 00:54:48,740 --> 00:54:52,540 Because it always enraged you that I returned to my roots. 1052 00:54:52,830 --> 00:54:56,080 What roots? You were a wonderful, sweet kid. 1053 00:54:56,330 --> 00:54:58,710 You got me through my childhood. 1054 00:54:59,590 --> 00:55:01,380 Then you go to Fort Lauderdale... 1055 00:55:01,630 --> 00:55:04,630 and you meet this fanatic, this zealot. 1056 00:55:05,340 --> 00:55:07,800 He fills you full of superstition. 1057 00:55:08,260 --> 00:55:09,600 It's tradition. 1058 00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:12,220 Tradition is the illusion of permanence. 1059 00:55:12,470 --> 00:55:14,100 You have no values. Your life... 1060 00:55:14,350 --> 00:55:17,850 it's nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm and orgasm. 1061 00:55:18,060 --> 00:55:21,150 In France I could run on that slogan and win. 1062 00:55:22,150 --> 00:55:25,990 I'm a Jew. I was born a Jew. Do you hate me because of that? 1063 00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:28,110 And if our parents converted... 1064 00:55:28,410 --> 00:55:31,990 to Catholicism a month before you were born, we'd be Catholics. 1065 00:55:32,240 --> 00:55:35,870 They're clubs. They're exclusionary. 1066 00:55:36,330 --> 00:55:38,920 They foster the concept of "the other"... 1067 00:55:39,250 --> 00:55:41,170 so you know who to hate. 1068 00:55:41,380 --> 00:55:42,960 That's enough! 1069 00:55:43,170 --> 00:55:45,550 A question: If a Jew gets massacred... 1070 00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:48,880 does it bother you more than if it's a Gentile... 1071 00:55:49,130 --> 00:55:51,600 or a black or a Bosnian? 1072 00:55:51,970 --> 00:55:54,470 Yes, it does. I can't help it. It's my people. 1073 00:55:54,720 --> 00:55:56,310 They're all your people. 1074 00:55:56,520 --> 00:56:00,190 Burt is right about you. You're a self-hating Jew. 1075 00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:03,150 I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish. 1076 00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:04,980 Not a self-hating Jew, 1077 00:56:05,190 --> 00:56:07,990 but look how he talks about them in his stories. 1078 00:56:09,570 --> 00:56:12,780 Max and Dolly Pincus were married for 30 years. 1079 00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:14,660 They raised two children... 1080 00:56:14,870 --> 00:56:18,620 participated generously at family weddings and bar mitzvahs. 1081 00:56:18,830 --> 00:56:20,670 Max, How are you? 1082 00:56:21,290 --> 00:56:24,210 Mazel tov. Here, for Donald. 1083 00:56:24,500 --> 00:56:25,500 Thank you, Max. 1084 00:56:30,590 --> 00:56:32,010 Dolly! 1085 00:56:32,340 --> 00:56:34,140 You got a private minute? 1086 00:56:34,390 --> 00:56:37,310 Sure. We're leaving anyhow in a few minutes. 1087 00:56:39,390 --> 00:56:41,150 I don't know if I should tell you. 1088 00:56:41,350 --> 00:56:42,770 What? Tell me what? 1089 00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:46,030 Tell me, and I'll tell you if you should tell me. 1090 00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:47,940 My heart is heavy. 1091 00:56:48,150 --> 00:56:51,490 Nothing terrible happened to your husband Phil, did it? 1092 00:56:51,740 --> 00:56:53,780 He's been dead for so many years. 1093 00:56:55,740 --> 00:56:58,120 When I was in Florida last week... 1094 00:56:58,410 --> 00:56:59,750 I ran into a man... 1095 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,250 who heard from someone who knew someone who... 1096 00:57:03,500 --> 00:57:04,460 Anyway... 1097 00:57:04,790 --> 00:57:07,920 it seems Max has some secret from his past. 1098 00:57:09,260 --> 00:57:11,010 You're talking about my Max? 1099 00:57:11,220 --> 00:57:13,260 - A dark secret. - What kind of a dark secret? 1100 00:57:13,470 --> 00:57:14,260 Dark! 1101 00:57:14,470 --> 00:57:16,260 What is by you dark? 1102 00:57:16,890 --> 00:57:17,890 I don't know. 1103 00:57:18,100 --> 00:57:21,810 What kind of dark secret? We've been married for 30 years. 1104 00:57:22,190 --> 00:57:23,940 You're his first wife? 1105 00:57:24,150 --> 00:57:25,980 Sure I'm his first wife. 1106 00:57:26,190 --> 00:57:27,980 Before me, he worked for... 1107 00:57:29,150 --> 00:57:30,030 What? 1108 00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:32,650 You heard something different? 1109 00:57:32,910 --> 00:57:36,030 I heard only a dark secret. Do I know what? 1110 00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:37,830 Who told you? 1111 00:57:38,950 --> 00:57:40,160 Wolf Fishbein. 1112 00:57:41,370 --> 00:57:43,210 Be careful, Dolly. 1113 00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:45,540 That's all I want to say. 1114 00:57:46,210 --> 00:57:49,130 Dolly tried putting Elsie's words out of her mind... 1115 00:57:49,420 --> 00:57:51,880 but Max's dark secret plagued her. 1116 00:57:52,300 --> 00:57:55,300 Then one day she ran into Wolf Fishbein... 1117 00:57:55,550 --> 00:57:57,930 and the truth was revealed. 1118 00:57:58,220 --> 00:58:00,310 Try to breathe deeply. 1119 00:58:00,930 --> 00:58:02,430 Elsie, you were right. 1120 00:58:03,190 --> 00:58:05,020 Fishbein told me at ale. 1121 00:58:06,190 --> 00:58:09,320 Max, before I met him, lived in Florida. 1122 00:58:10,150 --> 00:58:13,200 He had a store. Groceries. 1123 00:58:13,610 --> 00:58:15,070 He was married. 1124 00:58:15,820 --> 00:58:17,160 Now it comes out! 1125 00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:19,200 To a woman... 1126 00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:21,500 with two children. 1127 00:58:21,790 --> 00:58:23,660 Max had other children? 1128 00:58:23,910 --> 00:58:25,790 No. The woman's children. 1129 00:58:26,210 --> 00:58:28,250 From a prior marriage. 1130 00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:32,630 He began an affair... 1131 00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:35,630 with the downstairs neighbor, a widow. 1132 00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:38,050 He probably had all his hair then. 1133 00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:40,970 Meanwhile, he got into debt. 1134 00:58:41,220 --> 00:58:43,100 Deeper and deeper. 1135 00:58:44,140 --> 00:58:46,690 And then carry on with the neighbor. 1136 00:58:47,100 --> 00:58:48,360 Oy, my heart! 1137 00:58:51,820 --> 00:58:54,900 He can't get himself out of a predicament. 1138 00:58:55,530 --> 00:58:57,200 So what does he do? 1139 00:58:57,490 --> 00:58:59,030 He stole money. 1140 00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:00,950 I should be so lucky! 1141 00:59:01,370 --> 00:59:03,040 He killed his wife! 1142 00:59:04,290 --> 00:59:05,120 No! 1143 00:59:06,370 --> 00:59:08,210 The man purchased an ax. 1144 00:59:08,540 --> 00:59:09,750 With an ax? 1145 00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:12,460 You know Max. He's nothing with tools. 1146 00:59:12,710 --> 00:59:15,050 He can't even hang a picture. 1147 00:59:15,260 --> 00:59:16,630 I'm dropping dead! 1148 00:59:16,930 --> 00:59:19,260 Plus her children! 1149 00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:21,560 Plus the neighbor! 1150 00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:22,680 Four. 1151 00:59:23,020 --> 00:59:26,020 Four people he killed in one night with an ax. 1152 00:59:26,230 --> 00:59:28,230 Your Max? 1153 00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:31,270 - And this is not the capper. - There's more? 1154 00:59:31,690 --> 00:59:32,780 More! 1155 00:59:34,650 --> 00:59:36,150 What more? 1156 00:59:37,610 --> 00:59:39,200 He ate them. 1157 00:59:39,410 --> 00:59:41,240 What, are you talking crazy? 1158 00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:43,540 He devoured them. 1159 00:59:44,620 --> 00:59:47,790 I can't breathe. Everything is closing in. 1160 00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:50,170 Whatever you do... 1161 00:59:50,460 --> 00:59:52,460 first hear Max's side. 1162 00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:54,420 Max has a side? 1163 00:59:54,670 --> 00:59:57,170 He kills his family and eats them up. 1164 00:59:57,470 --> 00:59:58,760 The man has a side? 1165 00:59:58,970 --> 01:00:02,760 He was a good husband and loving father for 30 years. 1166 01:00:03,010 --> 01:00:05,180 You have a daughter who went to college. 1167 01:00:05,470 --> 01:00:07,520 You have a son who's a writer. 1168 01:00:08,390 --> 01:00:12,310 Maybe the best course of action is to let sleeping dogs lie. 1169 01:00:13,900 --> 01:00:16,820 Honey, would you pass the sour cream? 1170 01:00:21,370 --> 01:00:23,660 You haven't touched a thing. 1171 01:00:25,330 --> 01:00:26,660 Nice weather. 1172 01:00:27,660 --> 01:00:28,660 It's okay. 1173 01:00:28,870 --> 01:00:31,670 It's not just okay. It's nice. 1174 01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:35,460 All right. What are you getting so steamed up about? 1175 01:00:35,670 --> 01:00:38,090 What makes you such an authority on the weather? 1176 01:00:38,340 --> 01:00:39,260 Me? 1177 01:00:39,510 --> 01:00:42,510 - All I said was... - I know what you said. 1178 01:00:43,100 --> 01:00:44,850 The fish is delicious. 1179 01:00:45,180 --> 01:00:47,220 Wouldn't you rather have meat? 1180 01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,640 Since when do I eat meat? 1181 01:00:49,890 --> 01:00:53,400 With my arteries, you gotta watch the cholesterol. 1182 01:00:54,650 --> 01:00:57,400 - Uh-huh. - What is the "uh-huh"? 1183 01:00:57,690 --> 01:01:00,070 You've been very touchy lately. 1184 01:01:00,900 --> 01:01:02,660 Don't interrogate me... 1185 01:01:02,950 --> 01:01:04,660 Mr. Max Pinchick! 1186 01:01:11,420 --> 01:01:13,380 Where did you hear that name? 1187 01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:16,420 Did you kill your first wife with an ax? 1188 01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:18,630 I got a headache. 1189 01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:22,430 Did you chop her up? Along with your mistress? 1190 01:01:23,930 --> 01:01:25,180 Okay. 1191 01:01:25,430 --> 01:01:29,100 If I tell you why I did it, do you promise not to nudge me? 1192 01:01:29,310 --> 01:01:32,770 Wolf Fishbein said, in order to hide the bodies... 1193 01:01:32,980 --> 01:01:34,400 you ate them! 1194 01:01:34,650 --> 01:01:37,360 So, what are you making a fuss? 1195 01:01:37,690 --> 01:01:40,150 Some bury, some burn... 1196 01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:41,530 I ate! 1197 01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:44,910 I remember "Max Pincus's Dark Secret". 1198 01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:48,160 And you don't see your sick view of our parents? 1199 01:01:48,370 --> 01:01:50,200 I wrote it when I was young. 1200 01:01:50,410 --> 01:01:52,960 The first of many anti-Semitic pieces of work. 1201 01:01:53,170 --> 01:01:55,250 Direct from the Wailing Wall. 1202 01:01:55,460 --> 01:01:57,040 Disrespectful. Shameful. 1203 01:01:57,250 --> 01:02:00,960 The Jews haven't suffered enough, you depict us as cannibals? 1204 01:02:01,170 --> 01:02:04,430 No spiritual center. He's betting on physics and pussy. 1205 01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:06,100 Excuse the expression. 1206 01:02:06,350 --> 01:02:10,180 He gets cancer, he's straight to the synagogue in a yarmulke. 1207 01:02:10,390 --> 01:02:12,810 Why should I get cancer? I eat broccoli. 1208 01:02:13,020 --> 01:02:16,980 You care about the Holocaust? Or you think it never happened? 1209 01:02:17,230 --> 01:02:19,530 Not only do I know that we lost 6 million... 1210 01:02:19,730 --> 01:02:23,490 the scary thing is that records are made to be broken. 1211 01:02:23,700 --> 01:02:25,610 I know what's out there. Do you? 1212 01:02:25,820 --> 01:02:29,490 He creates offensive Jewish stereotypes, like in "Der Sturmer". 1213 01:02:29,740 --> 01:02:32,160 Max is a version of Daddy, who you hated. 1214 01:02:32,370 --> 01:02:35,330 A man you accuse of being a terrible parent. 1215 01:02:35,540 --> 01:02:37,630 He was a terrible parent. 1216 01:02:38,420 --> 01:02:39,920 Thank you for dropping by. 1217 01:02:40,170 --> 01:02:42,460 Come again in another 4 years. 1218 01:02:42,670 --> 01:02:45,300 Wouldn't it be a better world if not every group... 1219 01:02:45,590 --> 01:02:47,430 thought they had a direct line to God. 1220 01:02:47,640 --> 01:02:50,760 He thinks I'm all Jewish paranoia. 1221 01:02:51,060 --> 01:02:53,680 No. I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. 1222 01:02:53,890 --> 01:02:57,350 I think you have the delusion that people like you. 1223 01:03:07,410 --> 01:03:09,120 - What's the matter? - Son of a bitch! 1224 01:03:09,370 --> 01:03:10,490 What's wrong? 1225 01:03:10,780 --> 01:03:12,410 You sick, sick, sick, 1226 01:03:12,700 --> 01:03:14,290 fucking bastard! 1227 01:03:14,540 --> 01:03:15,580 What's wrong? 1228 01:03:16,170 --> 01:03:20,290 What's wrong? You've been having an affair with one of my patients. 1229 01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:21,840 Who? 1230 01:03:22,050 --> 01:03:24,340 You know what I'm talking about! 1231 01:03:24,970 --> 01:03:26,180 Don't speak! 1232 01:03:26,470 --> 01:03:28,640 She just told me the whole thing. 1233 01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:30,890 - Who? - Who? Who! Who! 1234 01:03:31,220 --> 01:03:33,220 Mrs. Pollack. Amy Pollack. 1235 01:03:33,470 --> 01:03:35,100 Can I explain something? 1236 01:03:35,350 --> 01:03:37,900 No. You cannot explain anything! 1237 01:03:38,100 --> 01:03:39,400 Will you calm down? 1238 01:03:39,610 --> 01:03:41,270 Don't tell me to calm down! 1239 01:03:41,820 --> 01:03:42,900 What's wrong with you? 1240 01:03:43,280 --> 01:03:44,320 What is wrong? 1241 01:03:44,940 --> 01:03:47,570 I treat this woman and she exits. 1242 01:03:47,780 --> 01:03:50,280 You meet her and you fuck her! 1243 01:03:50,740 --> 01:03:53,620 Suppose I told you that my fucking Amy Pollack... 1244 01:03:53,870 --> 01:03:57,000 was a disguised plea for more closeness with you? 1245 01:03:57,210 --> 01:03:59,120 I'd say you're a mental case! 1246 01:03:59,420 --> 01:04:02,670 This is like your first wife. You claimed you loved her. 1247 01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:05,460 All the while, you were having affairs. 1248 01:04:05,710 --> 01:04:08,340 My first wife. I told you... 1249 01:04:08,630 --> 01:04:11,300 we were in bed one night. I turned off her... 1250 01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:15,470 because the way the light was, she looked like Max Schmeling. 1251 01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:17,480 What do you want me to say? 1252 01:04:17,690 --> 01:04:21,020 She was pretty, but I couldn't get an erection after that. 1253 01:04:21,270 --> 01:04:24,780 Stop this tap-dancing. This is bullshit, understand me? 1254 01:04:25,190 --> 01:04:28,150 With you it's a different story. You turned off me! 1255 01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:30,700 That's what happened since Hilly was born. 1256 01:04:30,950 --> 01:04:33,580 We live platonically, like brother and sister. 1257 01:04:33,870 --> 01:04:35,540 Don't play "blame the victim"! 1258 01:04:35,830 --> 01:04:37,620 What are you talking about? 1259 01:04:37,910 --> 01:04:39,960 I'm as much a victim as you! 1260 01:04:40,290 --> 01:04:42,460 You think getting a blowjob... 1261 01:04:42,670 --> 01:04:46,460 from a big-bosomed 26 year old is pleasurable for me. 1262 01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:50,510 You're making me sick! I can't believe this! 1263 01:04:51,260 --> 01:04:54,010 - You're over reacting. - I'm not over reacting! 1264 01:04:54,470 --> 01:04:57,310 Are you telling me that every week for 4 months... 1265 01:04:57,560 --> 01:04:59,940 you've been with her in a hotel? 1266 01:05:00,390 --> 01:05:02,730 That's so crazy. No, of course not! 1267 01:05:03,810 --> 01:05:05,770 I rented an apartment. 1268 01:05:06,110 --> 01:05:07,570 I'm going to kill you! 1269 01:05:10,700 --> 01:05:13,160 Hello, Doctor. Sorry I'm late. 1270 01:05:13,450 --> 01:05:14,700 Mr. Farber. 1271 01:05:14,990 --> 01:05:17,160 Take off your coat. Come in. 1272 01:05:31,550 --> 01:05:34,350 I've been losing sleep at night. 1273 01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:37,390 I can't shut my eyes at night. 1274 01:05:37,770 --> 01:05:41,810 I think I should quit my job, but I can't bring myself to do it. 1275 01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:45,520 Maybe because my brother-in-law treats me kindly. 1276 01:05:45,980 --> 01:05:50,110 But working for him is taking it's toll on me emotionally. 1277 01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:51,950 Could you excuse me? 1278 01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:52,820 What? 1279 01:05:57,160 --> 01:05:58,870 You fucked-up fuck! 1280 01:05:59,620 --> 01:06:02,710 I can't believe you did this. You fucking asshole! 1281 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:06,710 You fucked my patient! You don't fuck somebody's patient. 1282 01:06:07,340 --> 01:06:08,500 Fuck you! 1283 01:06:18,470 --> 01:06:20,020 Continue, Mr. Farber. 1284 01:06:25,060 --> 01:06:28,150 Lost your thread? You were talking about quitting your job. 1285 01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:29,610 Right. 1286 01:06:32,900 --> 01:06:35,030 I discussed it with my wife. 1287 01:06:35,660 --> 01:06:37,910 While she seems to be supportive... 1288 01:06:38,200 --> 01:06:40,160 I know she'd rather I stay on. 1289 01:06:40,450 --> 01:06:42,120 She idolizes Gordon. 1290 01:06:42,790 --> 01:06:46,420 All she does is spend time with him anyway. 1291 01:06:47,710 --> 01:06:50,000 Excuse me one more second, Mr. Farber. 1292 01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:51,760 Again? 1293 01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:53,880 Continue. I can hear you from the hallway. Loudly. 1294 01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:58,180 I want you to get out of here. 1295 01:06:58,390 --> 01:07:00,640 Get all of your goddamn stuff together... 1296 01:07:00,890 --> 01:07:02,560 and get out of here. 1297 01:07:02,850 --> 01:07:06,690 I cannot understand why the most sophisticated of women... 1298 01:07:06,980 --> 01:07:08,690 can't tell the difference between... 1299 01:07:08,900 --> 01:07:11,650 a meaningless, hot, passionate sexual affair... 1300 01:07:11,860 --> 01:07:14,820 and a nice, solid, tranquil, routine marriage. 1301 01:07:15,070 --> 01:07:18,160 Tell me, was she the only one, or were there others? 1302 01:07:18,490 --> 01:07:21,950 Amy Pollack was the only one. May God strike me dead if I lie. 1303 01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:24,500 You're an atheist, Harry! 1304 01:07:24,750 --> 01:07:28,130 We're alone in the universe. Gonna blame that on me too? 1305 01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:31,210 You turned off me first. 1306 01:07:31,460 --> 01:07:33,170 Oh, please! 1307 01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:36,800 No. I gave birth. When women give birth... 1308 01:07:37,130 --> 01:07:40,720 there's a period when their hormones go crazy. 1309 01:07:41,180 --> 01:07:42,720 But they settle. 1310 01:07:43,060 --> 01:07:46,440 So, if you're telling me you're settling, I accept that. 1311 01:07:46,690 --> 01:07:48,100 You accept that! 1312 01:07:48,350 --> 01:07:50,770 You are so fucking nuts! 1313 01:07:50,980 --> 01:07:51,940 Take it easy! 1314 01:07:52,650 --> 01:07:55,490 If you're not happy in a marriage... 1315 01:07:55,690 --> 01:07:57,030 you don't cheat. 1316 01:07:57,400 --> 01:07:59,200 And with my patient! 1317 01:07:59,450 --> 01:08:01,950 That is a sacred trust! My patient! 1318 01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:03,910 What do you want? Who else do I meet? 1319 01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:07,500 I'm working here. We have the baby. You're always practicing. 1320 01:08:07,710 --> 01:08:09,330 We never socialize. 1321 01:08:09,880 --> 01:08:11,420 So now you're blaming me... 1322 01:08:11,630 --> 01:08:13,840 because we don't go out enough places where you can... 1323 01:08:14,130 --> 01:08:16,550 meet strangers to fuck! 1324 01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:22,810 I was merely explaining... 1325 01:08:23,180 --> 01:08:25,470 why my choice, of necessity, 1326 01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:27,940 is confined to your practice. 1327 01:08:29,440 --> 01:08:32,520 I knew you were mentally ill before we were married... 1328 01:08:32,770 --> 01:08:36,570 but I thought, as a trained professional, I could help you. 1329 01:08:39,320 --> 01:08:43,080 Now, please don't get down on yourself as a therapist. 1330 01:08:45,370 --> 01:08:48,750 Get your shit and your goddamn clothes... 1331 01:08:49,210 --> 01:08:51,210 and get the fuck out of here! 1332 01:08:51,540 --> 01:08:54,000 You are the most irresponsible person... 1333 01:08:54,290 --> 01:08:56,130 I've seen in my entire life! 1334 01:08:56,380 --> 01:08:57,720 Get out! 1335 01:09:01,340 --> 01:09:02,970 Continue, Mr. Farber. 1336 01:09:04,680 --> 01:09:05,810 Doctor! 1337 01:09:06,020 --> 01:09:09,020 And I mean tonight, mother fucker! 1338 01:09:16,900 --> 01:09:18,530 Dad! My Pepsi! 1339 01:09:26,330 --> 01:09:30,210 So you got even with your ex wife and sister and I was born. 1340 01:09:30,620 --> 01:09:31,670 What do you mean? 1341 01:09:31,920 --> 01:09:34,290 From your pen. From your fertile imagination. 1342 01:09:34,590 --> 01:09:36,210 And I mean, imagination. 1343 01:09:36,420 --> 01:09:38,090 I wasn't getting even with Joan. 1344 01:09:38,340 --> 01:09:41,090 You created me as the shrewish, Jewish hybrid... 1345 01:09:41,300 --> 01:09:42,840 who goes off with a patient. 1346 01:09:43,050 --> 01:09:45,850 An Orthodox divorcee from Tel Aviv. 1347 01:09:46,060 --> 01:09:49,520 She shouldn't have married Burt. He's turned her into a zealot. 1348 01:09:49,730 --> 01:09:53,060 She loves you. It's not her fault your father persecuted you. 1349 01:09:53,270 --> 01:09:55,480 She was fine until she wound up... 1350 01:09:55,690 --> 01:09:58,070 with this right-wing hawk. 1351 01:09:58,320 --> 01:10:01,280 So she disappointed you in her choice of husbands? 1352 01:10:01,650 --> 01:10:03,360 Fuck you! She loves Burt. 1353 01:10:03,570 --> 01:10:06,160 She was a great kid. She had a flair for physics. 1354 01:10:06,370 --> 01:10:07,660 Suddenly, she's kosher. 1355 01:10:07,950 --> 01:10:09,330 She loves you still... 1356 01:10:09,540 --> 01:10:12,120 despite your condescension towards her life. 1357 01:10:12,330 --> 01:10:13,420 Does she love me? 1358 01:10:13,620 --> 01:10:16,040 Want to hear what she says about you? 1359 01:10:16,290 --> 01:10:19,340 He's not so bad. He was a very good brother. 1360 01:10:19,550 --> 01:10:22,170 But Father never forgave him when his wife died. 1361 01:10:22,420 --> 01:10:25,220 The man is not a Jewish man, that's all! 1362 01:10:25,470 --> 01:10:26,680 All right! 1363 01:10:26,890 --> 01:10:29,390 Poor Harry, he was always lost. 1364 01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:33,480 He never accepted there are some things you can't know. 1365 01:10:33,770 --> 01:10:36,730 The man is incapable of an act of faith. 1366 01:10:36,980 --> 01:10:38,860 For that, I pity him. 1367 01:10:39,070 --> 01:10:41,610 I'd like to hug him, like when we were kids. 1368 01:10:41,820 --> 01:10:45,030 If I was upset, he was a real comfort to me. 1369 01:10:45,280 --> 01:10:46,740 What happens to us? 1370 01:10:47,570 --> 01:10:48,830 She can't hear you. 1371 01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:52,580 And as for Joan... 1372 01:10:53,040 --> 01:10:54,710 Joan hates me. 1373 01:10:55,040 --> 01:10:56,290 Shouldn't she? 1374 01:10:56,630 --> 01:10:59,130 Why? Because I was unfaithful? 1375 01:10:59,420 --> 01:11:02,760 No, because when she caught you, you weren't a man. 1376 01:11:02,970 --> 01:11:05,380 You turned into this double-talking, 1377 01:11:05,630 --> 01:11:07,930 wise-cracking, tap-dancing liar. 1378 01:11:08,180 --> 01:11:11,720 If she hadn't been so enraged, we might have patched things up. 1379 01:11:11,930 --> 01:11:13,600 Listen to him delude himself! 1380 01:11:13,850 --> 01:11:16,020 Maybe it had tapered a bit after Hilly was born... 1381 01:11:16,230 --> 01:11:18,150 but you had sex pretty regularly. 1382 01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:20,610 I've no idea why l took up with her patient. 1383 01:11:20,820 --> 01:11:23,190 She was available and adorable. 1384 01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:25,450 My marriage was droning on. 1385 01:11:25,650 --> 01:11:28,120 What you call "droning on", most people would call "working". 1386 01:11:28,320 --> 01:11:30,580 If that's "working", marriage isn't for me. 1387 01:11:30,780 --> 01:11:32,080 It's not for everyone. 1388 01:11:32,290 --> 01:11:33,870 But then I get lonely. 1389 01:11:34,710 --> 01:11:36,500 What do you want me to say? 1390 01:11:36,710 --> 01:11:40,090 She gave me Hilly and for that I'm eternally grateful... 1391 01:11:40,290 --> 01:11:42,000 'cause I love him so much. 1392 01:11:42,420 --> 01:11:44,260 You can have any one you want. 1393 01:11:44,340 --> 01:11:45,260 Can I get two? 1394 01:11:45,470 --> 01:11:47,800 Tell you what, you can get three presents. 1395 01:11:48,090 --> 01:11:51,680 Pick any three presents you want. Satisfied? 1396 01:11:51,890 --> 01:11:53,520 Look what I found. 1397 01:11:54,060 --> 01:11:55,230 Isn't that cool? 1398 01:11:55,430 --> 01:11:58,810 This is the chemistry set you always wanted. It's perfect. 1399 01:11:59,560 --> 01:12:02,650 Don't open it yet. Let me buy it first. 1400 01:12:07,570 --> 01:12:09,820 Larry! What are you doing here? 1401 01:12:10,030 --> 01:12:11,910 Buying my nephew a Power Ranger. 1402 01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:14,830 - When did you get back? - A couple of days ago. 1403 01:12:18,290 --> 01:12:20,420 This is Larry. I told you about Larry. 1404 01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:23,420 He's an old friend, colleague, peer. 1405 01:12:23,630 --> 01:12:25,920 - So you got back, when? - Two days ago. 1406 01:12:26,170 --> 01:12:28,430 I took a boat trip down the Amazon. 1407 01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:30,180 - Sounds exciting. - Unbelievable. 1408 01:12:30,390 --> 01:12:31,930 If you don't mind malaria. 1409 01:12:32,180 --> 01:12:35,680 Butterflies the size of doves. Never seen anything like it. 1410 01:12:36,020 --> 01:12:38,230 I can live without that. 1411 01:12:38,480 --> 01:12:40,100 It was astounding. 1412 01:12:40,440 --> 01:12:41,400 Sounds it. 1413 01:12:41,650 --> 01:12:43,400 So you got back two days ago? 1414 01:12:43,610 --> 01:12:45,190 We go back a long way. 1415 01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:47,900 We both wanted to be Kafka. 1416 01:12:48,150 --> 01:12:50,610 You got slightly closer than I did. 1417 01:12:50,820 --> 01:12:52,660 Yeah. I became the insect. 1418 01:12:52,950 --> 01:12:56,250 I'm very excited. I'm amazed. 1419 01:12:56,450 --> 01:12:57,870 We should go out. 1420 01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:01,460 Why not come to my house in East Hampton for a weekend? 1421 01:13:01,710 --> 01:13:03,790 Let's not get hysterical. 1422 01:13:04,420 --> 01:13:07,130 - I'd love to. It'd be fun. - It's beautiful. 1423 01:13:07,380 --> 01:13:09,720 It's sand in the crotch, ticks... 1424 01:13:09,930 --> 01:13:11,890 You get this guy to leave his room. 1425 01:13:12,090 --> 01:13:13,390 He's never had at an. 1426 01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:15,890 I've always wanted to learn how to snorkel. 1427 01:13:16,180 --> 01:13:18,890 Snorkel! Where he lives, there are sharks. 1428 01:13:20,270 --> 01:13:23,560 You see photos of guys with stumps for legs and arms. 1429 01:13:23,770 --> 01:13:26,190 - Am I lying? - Yes. It's fabulous there. 1430 01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:27,650 I'll take you to dinner. 1431 01:13:27,860 --> 01:13:29,700 No! We'll take you to dinner. 1432 01:13:29,950 --> 01:13:32,320 I'll tell you about the Amazon. 1433 01:13:32,570 --> 01:13:34,490 I'd love to hear it. Sounds amazing. 1434 01:13:34,910 --> 01:13:37,490 I'm writing a novel. I'll tell you about it. 1435 01:13:37,750 --> 01:13:40,410 I'm not into the Amazon. Know what the Amazon is? 1436 01:13:40,620 --> 01:13:43,670 Tiny little heads with lips sewn together. 1437 01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:46,090 Can you picture him this way? 1438 01:13:47,670 --> 01:13:50,340 We'll take you to dinner tonight. 1439 01:13:50,550 --> 01:13:53,680 I'm single, available, with the soul of a black man! 1440 01:13:54,260 --> 01:13:56,970 I smell sulfur. Do you smell sulfur? 1441 01:13:57,220 --> 01:13:59,730 Hilly, did you open the chemistry set? 1442 01:14:00,600 --> 01:14:02,640 Look! We're almost there. 1443 01:14:03,560 --> 01:14:04,810 Hilly, wake up. 1444 01:14:05,020 --> 01:14:07,860 Wake up. We're almost at the university. 1445 01:14:08,110 --> 01:14:11,110 Dad's being honored. Limited as my curriculum was. 1446 01:14:11,360 --> 01:14:14,280 - Richard, we're there. 5 minutes. - Wake up. 1447 01:14:15,990 --> 01:14:17,280 Something's wrong. 1448 01:14:17,490 --> 01:14:18,540 What's the matter? 1449 01:14:18,740 --> 01:14:20,580 I don't think he's breathing! 1450 01:14:20,910 --> 01:14:22,160 He's dead! 1451 01:14:22,330 --> 01:14:23,290 What? 1452 01:14:23,540 --> 01:14:27,290 I was at the doctor's with him. They said his heart was fine. 1453 01:14:27,590 --> 01:14:28,880 I'm scared. 1454 01:14:29,130 --> 01:14:30,510 Don't be scared, Hilly. 1455 01:14:30,710 --> 01:14:32,010 I'm fine, Dad. 1456 01:14:32,220 --> 01:14:35,680 Death is a natural part of life. You have to embrace them both. 1457 01:14:36,050 --> 01:14:37,300 What are we gonna do? 1458 01:14:37,550 --> 01:14:39,720 I don't know. Get back in the car. 1459 01:14:39,970 --> 01:14:42,770 I don't want to sit next to him. 1460 01:14:46,610 --> 01:14:50,110 Welcome to Adair University. I'm Professor Higgins. 1461 01:14:50,360 --> 01:14:53,740 We certainly hope you had a very pleasant trip here. 1462 01:14:54,070 --> 01:14:55,780 Would you like some refreshments? 1463 01:14:56,070 --> 01:14:57,490 Is he all right? 1464 01:14:57,830 --> 01:15:00,740 He's dead. You got one of them rubber bags? 1465 01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:04,040 We've made arrangements for the body... 1466 01:15:04,330 --> 01:15:06,460 to be delivered to New York City. 1467 01:15:08,250 --> 01:15:12,010 I don't think he has any immediate family. 1468 01:15:13,010 --> 01:15:14,260 If you prefer, 1469 01:15:14,470 --> 01:15:16,930 we can call off the proceedings. 1470 01:15:17,720 --> 01:15:19,560 - I think that's the best idea. - No! 1471 01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:20,850 I do. 1472 01:15:21,470 --> 01:15:24,390 He'll be all right. He's here for a purpose. 1473 01:15:29,820 --> 01:15:31,480 I'll see that... 1474 01:15:34,360 --> 01:15:36,570 the funeral comes off. 1475 01:15:36,860 --> 01:15:38,870 I'll see that he's buried... 1476 01:15:39,200 --> 01:15:40,280 properly. 1477 01:15:40,490 --> 01:15:41,910 I understand. 1478 01:15:44,830 --> 01:15:46,040 Poor Richard! 1479 01:15:47,620 --> 01:15:48,880 The poor guy! 1480 01:15:52,090 --> 01:15:54,130 I'm not gonna make it. I can't go on. 1481 01:15:54,340 --> 01:15:56,630 Not if you keep drinking and popping those pills. 1482 01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:58,090 I can't believe this. 1483 01:15:58,300 --> 01:16:01,810 My school honors me. I turn up with a hooker and a dead body. 1484 01:16:02,010 --> 01:16:05,770 Take it easy. You're getting all wound up about nothing. 1485 01:16:06,060 --> 01:16:07,020 Look at me. 1486 01:16:07,230 --> 01:16:09,150 Look! I'm out of focus! 1487 01:16:09,480 --> 01:16:11,980 You look a little pale, but you're all right. 1488 01:16:12,230 --> 01:16:13,980 I'm out of focus. I'm soft! 1489 01:16:14,190 --> 01:16:16,400 Calm down. They'll be here any minute. 1490 01:16:17,280 --> 01:16:20,660 It's humiliating. They're gonna honor me and I'm a blob. 1491 01:16:20,870 --> 01:16:22,330 You look fine. 1492 01:16:22,740 --> 01:16:25,160 I'll be sitting on the dais there, eating. 1493 01:16:25,370 --> 01:16:26,960 They'll get seasick and throw up. 1494 01:16:27,160 --> 01:16:29,250 Hold my hand. Now, relax. 1495 01:16:29,500 --> 01:16:31,960 You wanted your son to see you get honored... 1496 01:16:32,170 --> 01:16:34,250 and now you're acting like a jackass. 1497 01:16:34,460 --> 01:16:37,260 But don't you see? I'm a huge blur. 1498 01:16:37,470 --> 01:16:39,430 You're gonna be all right. I'll talk you down. 1499 01:16:39,640 --> 01:16:43,390 I've seen all kinds of guys O.D. Heroin, acid, crack. 1500 01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:46,100 I didn't take any of that. I have nothing. 1501 01:16:46,310 --> 01:16:47,730 But you're a pill popper. 1502 01:16:47,940 --> 01:16:49,440 That's not what it is. 1503 01:16:49,650 --> 01:16:51,690 It's me. I'm OD'ing on myself. 1504 01:16:51,940 --> 01:16:53,650 - I'm a shit. - Have some coffee. 1505 01:16:53,860 --> 01:16:55,980 I don't want any coffee. I'm a shit. 1506 01:16:56,190 --> 01:16:57,490 Talk to me about something. 1507 01:16:57,780 --> 01:16:59,030 You like sports? 1508 01:16:59,240 --> 01:17:01,320 Sports? Yeah. I was a pitcher. 1509 01:17:01,530 --> 01:17:04,280 When the guy crowded the plate, I'd throw at his head. 1510 01:17:04,490 --> 01:17:06,080 I'm the worst person in the world. 1511 01:17:06,330 --> 01:17:09,580 - Honey, I've seen worse. - Who's worse than me? 1512 01:17:09,790 --> 01:17:10,670 Hitler! 1513 01:17:11,670 --> 01:17:15,090 Maybe Hitler, Goering and Goebbels, but I'm fourth. 1514 01:17:15,340 --> 01:17:16,800 Come on. Hold my hand. 1515 01:17:17,420 --> 01:17:20,090 - Can you feel my hand? - Yes, it's warm. 1516 01:17:20,300 --> 01:17:22,890 See? It's just panic. You're not a blob. 1517 01:17:23,180 --> 01:17:25,060 I'm going to get overt his. 1518 01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:27,390 I'm having a panic attack. 1519 01:17:27,680 --> 01:17:29,390 What sports do you like? 1520 01:17:30,100 --> 01:17:33,440 I like them all. I like baseball, I like basketball. 1521 01:17:33,690 --> 01:17:37,570 I was married to a woman who looked like Max Schmeling. 1522 01:17:38,070 --> 01:17:39,570 No, I'm not joking. 1523 01:17:40,740 --> 01:17:42,110 All right. It's time. 1524 01:17:42,490 --> 01:17:45,370 I can't get through this without you. I mean it. 1525 01:17:45,580 --> 01:17:47,080 Don't worry about it. 1526 01:17:47,290 --> 01:17:49,960 - If you didn't come with me... - Don't worry. Come on. 1527 01:17:50,160 --> 01:17:51,540 Straighten up. 1528 01:17:52,170 --> 01:17:54,250 I gotta get a tie. I gotta get my tie. 1529 01:17:54,500 --> 01:17:55,590 All right. Let's go. 1530 01:18:00,340 --> 01:18:03,340 Are you ready to be immortalized by Adair? 1531 01:18:03,640 --> 01:18:06,930 We all know your work and characters. Even the obscure ones. 1532 01:18:07,140 --> 01:18:13,400 Good reading is a creative act. 1533 01:18:13,600 --> 01:18:14,900 Are you working on anything... 1534 01:18:15,110 --> 01:18:17,320 something we can sink our teeth into? 1535 01:18:17,520 --> 01:18:19,440 I'm in the midst of writing... 1536 01:18:19,650 --> 01:18:23,030 a thing on the Devil who kidnaps a man's true love... 1537 01:18:23,530 --> 01:18:26,080 and takes her down to Hell... 1538 01:18:26,280 --> 01:18:27,660 and he goes to retrieve her. 1539 01:18:27,950 --> 01:18:29,700 Since it's Hell, I'm able to... 1540 01:18:29,950 --> 01:18:32,410 settle lots of old scores. 1541 01:18:32,620 --> 01:18:34,330 What's the man like? 1542 01:18:34,540 --> 01:18:36,500 It's me, thinly disguised. 1543 01:18:37,460 --> 01:18:40,800 In fact, I don't think I should disguise it anymore. 1544 01:18:41,760 --> 01:18:42,970 It's me. 1545 01:18:44,430 --> 01:18:45,640 Floor five... 1546 01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:49,430 muggers, aggressive pan handlers and book critics. 1547 01:18:50,270 --> 01:18:51,310 Floor six... 1548 01:18:51,560 --> 01:18:55,560 right wing extremists, killers, lawyers who appear on TV. 1549 01:18:56,480 --> 01:18:57,610 Floors even... 1550 01:18:57,820 --> 01:18:58,980 the media. 1551 01:18:59,190 --> 01:19:01,400 Sorry, that floor is all filled up. 1552 01:19:01,650 --> 01:19:02,700 Floor eight... 1553 01:19:02,900 --> 01:19:06,780 escaped war criminals, TV evangelists and the NRA. 1554 01:19:06,990 --> 01:19:08,160 Lowest level... 1555 01:19:08,370 --> 01:19:10,040 everybody off. 1556 01:19:41,190 --> 01:19:42,480 What did you do? 1557 01:19:42,740 --> 01:19:44,860 I invented aluminum siding. 1558 01:20:01,960 --> 01:20:02,880 Dad! 1559 01:20:03,090 --> 01:20:05,050 Get me out. This is terrible. 1560 01:20:05,260 --> 01:20:07,090 You know how I hate hot weather. 1561 01:20:07,300 --> 01:20:08,720 What is he doing here? 1562 01:20:08,930 --> 01:20:10,890 He's condemned to eternal suffering. 1563 01:20:11,140 --> 01:20:12,180 Help me! 1564 01:20:12,470 --> 01:20:15,560 I don't understand. I demand to know the charges. 1565 01:20:15,770 --> 01:20:18,230 "Behaved unconscionably toward his son. 1566 01:20:18,440 --> 01:20:21,650 Said the boy committed a capital crime by being born." 1567 01:20:22,230 --> 01:20:24,230 Your wife, they told me, is dead. 1568 01:20:24,440 --> 01:20:26,450 But your son, he's thriving. 1569 01:20:27,070 --> 01:20:29,450 Why did he fight not to be born? 1570 01:20:30,870 --> 01:20:32,240 Look, I forgive him. 1571 01:20:33,580 --> 01:20:35,370 What's over is over. 1572 01:20:36,080 --> 01:20:39,380 It's finished. Let him go to heaven, please. 1573 01:20:39,580 --> 01:20:42,090 I'm a Jew! We don't believe in heaven. 1574 01:20:42,840 --> 01:20:45,840 - Where do you want to go? - To a Chinese restaurant. 1575 01:20:46,130 --> 01:20:49,640 Take him to Joy Luck. I love him despite everything. 1576 01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:12,620 Looking for someone? 1577 01:21:14,870 --> 01:21:16,290 I'm here to get Fay. 1578 01:21:16,790 --> 01:21:18,160 She's not coming with you. 1579 01:21:18,620 --> 01:21:21,880 Because you're the head of the underworld... 1580 01:21:22,080 --> 01:21:24,880 you can abduct her and get away with it? 1581 01:21:25,090 --> 01:21:26,670 I'm going to kidnap her back. 1582 01:21:26,880 --> 01:21:29,840 - What are you laughing at? - You match your powers against mine? 1583 01:21:30,090 --> 01:21:32,510 - You want to know why? - Yeah, I do. 1584 01:21:32,720 --> 01:21:35,100 I'm sorry. Forgive me for laughing. 1585 01:21:35,350 --> 01:21:36,100 Why? 1586 01:21:38,430 --> 01:21:41,100 I'm more powerful because I'm a bigger sinner. 1587 01:21:41,310 --> 01:21:43,900 Because you're a fallen angel... 1588 01:21:44,150 --> 01:21:47,690 and I never believed in God or Heaven of any of it. 1589 01:21:47,900 --> 01:21:51,660 I'm strictly quarks and particles and black holes. 1590 01:21:52,030 --> 01:21:54,580 All the other stuff is junk to me. 1591 01:21:54,870 --> 01:21:56,700 And also I do terrible things. 1592 01:21:56,910 --> 01:22:00,210 I've cheated on all my wives and none of them deserved it. 1593 01:22:00,410 --> 01:22:02,250 I sleep with whores. 1594 01:22:02,460 --> 01:22:04,750 I drink too much and I take pills... 1595 01:22:04,960 --> 01:22:08,090 and I lie and I'm vain and cowardly... 1596 01:22:08,300 --> 01:22:10,760 and I'm prone to violence. 1597 01:22:11,130 --> 01:22:14,470 I once almost ran over a book critic. 1598 01:22:14,720 --> 01:22:16,350 But I swerved at the last second. 1599 01:22:16,560 --> 01:22:18,350 You ever had two women at once? 1600 01:22:18,720 --> 01:22:21,350 Yes, I did. And I'll tell you something else. 1601 01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:24,650 I didn't care it was exploitive. And something else... 1602 01:22:24,860 --> 01:22:26,650 - They were sisters. - Really? 1603 01:22:26,900 --> 01:22:29,400 Yes! They were two blond WASP sisters. 1604 01:22:29,650 --> 01:22:32,780 - Not the Sherman twins? - Yes, the Sherman twins! 1605 01:22:33,860 --> 01:22:34,870 They're here. 1606 01:22:35,070 --> 01:22:36,830 The Sherman twins are here? 1607 01:22:37,030 --> 01:22:39,370 Unbelievable! Do you know Sandra Pepkin? 1608 01:22:39,580 --> 01:22:43,040 Do I know Sandra Pepkin? Only the best blowjob in the Hadassah. 1609 01:22:43,250 --> 01:22:45,040 So, if you know Sandra Pepkin... 1610 01:22:45,290 --> 01:22:48,250 I fucked her best friend, the cripple. Pearl. 1611 01:22:48,500 --> 01:22:50,420 - Pearl in the wheelchair? - Exactly. 1612 01:22:50,670 --> 01:22:53,130 Speaking of handicaps, do you know Marie Taylor? 1613 01:22:53,340 --> 01:22:56,850 Yes, but her I don't count. Marie Taylor is dyslexic. 1614 01:22:57,050 --> 01:22:59,060 She put her Tampax in her nose. 1615 01:22:59,260 --> 01:23:01,890 - Ever fuck a blind girl? - No, that I never did. 1616 01:23:03,060 --> 01:23:04,980 Oh, they're so grateful. 1617 01:23:05,190 --> 01:23:07,310 - Would you like a drink? - You're terrible. 1618 01:23:07,520 --> 01:23:09,650 Could I get some tequila? 1619 01:23:09,860 --> 01:23:12,530 I've got great tequila. Make yourself at home. 1620 01:23:12,740 --> 01:23:14,150 Want the air conditioner on? 1621 01:23:14,360 --> 01:23:17,620 - You're air-conditioned here? - Sure. Fucks up the ozone layer. 1622 01:23:17,830 --> 01:23:19,910 I could be very comfortable here. 1623 01:23:20,290 --> 01:23:22,960 I'll tell you something: I love it here. 1624 01:23:23,210 --> 01:23:25,000 I wouldn't be any place else. 1625 01:23:25,210 --> 01:23:26,630 - There you go. - Thank you. 1626 01:23:26,880 --> 01:23:30,750 I've had job offers in your world, but why be an employee? 1627 01:23:31,210 --> 01:23:32,970 Here, I'm my own boss. I'm free. 1628 01:23:33,170 --> 01:23:34,380 What jobs did they offer? 1629 01:23:34,590 --> 01:23:36,930 For two years I ran a Hollywood studio... 1630 01:23:37,140 --> 01:23:38,850 but you can't trust those people. 1631 01:23:39,100 --> 01:23:41,390 I agree. Better to rule down here... 1632 01:23:41,640 --> 01:23:44,180 than to serve in heaven. That's Milton. 1633 01:23:44,350 --> 01:23:46,690 To evil! It keeps everything humming. 1634 01:23:47,730 --> 01:23:49,520 So you kidnaped Fay? 1635 01:23:49,730 --> 01:23:50,520 Yes, I did. 1636 01:23:50,730 --> 01:23:53,740 Some women are turned on by aggressive behavior. 1637 01:23:53,940 --> 01:23:56,240 So, if I kidnaped her back? 1638 01:23:56,450 --> 01:23:57,320 You, kidnap? 1639 01:23:57,530 --> 01:23:59,780 Not your style. You're not a fun guy. 1640 01:23:59,990 --> 01:24:02,910 You're too serious. Too angry at life. 1641 01:24:03,120 --> 01:24:04,580 I got a lot to be angry at. 1642 01:24:04,790 --> 01:24:05,580 Who doesn't? 1643 01:24:05,790 --> 01:24:08,290 But sooner or later, you gotta back off. 1644 01:24:08,540 --> 01:24:11,420 It's like Vegas. You're up, you're down. 1645 01:24:11,630 --> 01:24:14,090 But in the end, the house always wins. 1646 01:24:14,300 --> 01:24:16,300 Doesn't mean you didn't have fun. 1647 01:24:16,510 --> 01:24:19,300 No, one thing you're not is a kidnapper. 1648 01:24:19,510 --> 01:24:20,510 Kidnapper! 1649 01:24:21,560 --> 01:24:22,470 Listen to me! 1650 01:24:23,060 --> 01:24:26,980 Out of my way! Can't you see you're with a kidnapper! 1651 01:24:27,190 --> 01:24:29,190 You're going to have to come with me. 1652 01:24:30,900 --> 01:24:33,030 You're under arrest, Mr. Block 1653 01:24:33,570 --> 01:24:35,320 I gotta put the cuffs on you. 1654 01:24:35,650 --> 01:24:39,030 - He's about to be honored. - How can I kidnap my own son? 1655 01:24:40,660 --> 01:24:42,370 We got drugs! 1656 01:24:42,700 --> 01:24:45,080 Let me go, bitch! Let me go! 1657 01:24:45,750 --> 01:24:48,250 - Get them in the car. - Get off me, bitch! 1658 01:24:51,130 --> 01:24:53,250 Can't I be honored, then arrested? 1659 01:24:53,460 --> 01:24:55,590 We can't do that. Sorry. 1660 01:24:56,630 --> 01:24:57,930 Kidnapping. 1661 01:24:58,300 --> 01:25:01,600 Prostitute in your car in possession of marijuana. 1662 01:25:02,010 --> 01:25:04,520 Possession of an unlicensed firearm. 1663 01:25:04,890 --> 01:25:08,940 I told you about the firearm. A crazy woman shot at me. 1664 01:25:09,190 --> 01:25:12,560 I got it away from her. I was gonna hand it in. 1665 01:25:13,020 --> 01:25:15,610 - I gotta make a phone call. - You made your call. 1666 01:25:15,820 --> 01:25:19,280 Doesn't count. It was to my girlfriend's answering service. 1667 01:25:19,530 --> 01:25:22,570 - To stop her marrying. - You also called your sister. 1668 01:25:22,780 --> 01:25:24,540 My sister wasn't in. 1669 01:25:24,740 --> 01:25:25,830 You called your lawyer. 1670 01:25:26,040 --> 01:25:29,210 He was at Canyon Ranch. I can never get my lawyer! 1671 01:25:29,460 --> 01:25:31,330 Can I give you some advice? 1672 01:25:31,580 --> 01:25:33,500 You're in deep shit. 1673 01:25:41,930 --> 01:25:44,350 This time I think you've really had it. 1674 01:25:47,270 --> 01:25:50,520 - It was your idea to kidnap Hilly. - It wasn't my idea. 1675 01:25:50,730 --> 01:25:54,150 I made a joke. You don't act on every impulse. 1676 01:25:54,520 --> 01:25:57,860 You gotta tell me the truth. Is it better being dead? 1677 01:25:58,070 --> 01:26:00,900 No, it's not really. But there's one good thing. 1678 01:26:01,110 --> 01:26:04,620 You don't get jury duty. But you have no options. 1679 01:26:04,830 --> 01:26:05,990 It's not for you. 1680 01:26:07,040 --> 01:26:08,580 I'm no good at life. 1681 01:26:08,790 --> 01:26:10,330 No, but you write well. 1682 01:26:10,540 --> 01:26:14,080 That's different. I can manipulate characters and plots. 1683 01:26:14,290 --> 01:26:18,210 You create your own universe, nicer than the world we have. 1684 01:26:18,670 --> 01:26:22,090 I can't function in this world. I'm a failure at life. 1685 01:26:22,300 --> 01:26:26,100 I don't know. I think you bring pleasure to a lot of people. 1686 01:26:26,390 --> 01:26:28,270 But even that's drying up. 1687 01:26:28,560 --> 01:26:30,060 For the last months... 1688 01:26:30,310 --> 01:26:33,810 I've been unable to come up with a meaningful idea. 1689 01:26:34,860 --> 01:26:37,230 Make peace with your demons... 1690 01:26:37,780 --> 01:26:39,690 and your block will pass. 1691 01:26:40,110 --> 01:26:41,900 It sounds so trite... 1692 01:26:42,150 --> 01:26:44,280 but I just want to be happy. 1693 01:26:44,780 --> 01:26:47,830 To be alive is to be happy. Take it from me. 1694 01:26:51,210 --> 01:26:52,160 Block? Come on. 1695 01:26:55,580 --> 01:26:57,290 Some people put up your bail. 1696 01:26:57,880 --> 01:26:58,800 My bail? 1697 01:26:59,000 --> 01:27:00,960 That's right. This way. 1698 01:27:01,550 --> 01:27:02,340 You? 1699 01:27:02,550 --> 01:27:06,050 - We got the phone message. - Came right from our wedding. 1700 01:27:06,890 --> 01:27:09,770 - You did? - We're on our way to our honeymoon. 1701 01:27:09,970 --> 01:27:12,520 - You got married? - You have to ask? 1702 01:27:12,730 --> 01:27:16,690 I can't believe it! In the end you chose him over me! 1703 01:27:16,900 --> 01:27:18,940 - I can't fathom this! - You'd insult me... 1704 01:27:19,150 --> 01:27:21,860 after we ran from the altar to bail you out. 1705 01:27:22,070 --> 01:27:23,860 I know you're claustrophobic. 1706 01:27:24,070 --> 01:27:27,240 Plus, you'll get buggered by every con in the cell block. 1707 01:27:27,450 --> 01:27:29,740 You should be in there! 1708 01:27:29,990 --> 01:27:31,950 Because you stole her from me. 1709 01:27:32,160 --> 01:27:34,000 He did not steal me. 1710 01:27:34,210 --> 01:27:35,500 I love him. 1711 01:27:36,040 --> 01:27:38,040 I can't fathom this. 1712 01:27:38,750 --> 01:27:41,050 I appreciate your coming, but... 1713 01:27:41,260 --> 01:27:42,670 why? Why not me? 1714 01:27:42,920 --> 01:27:45,630 You told me not to fall in love with you, so I didn't. 1715 01:27:45,840 --> 01:27:48,720 How could you listen to me? You know I'm crazy! 1716 01:27:48,930 --> 01:27:51,270 You were my mentor. That's why. 1717 01:27:51,470 --> 01:27:53,850 But you were sleeping with you mentor. 1718 01:27:54,060 --> 01:27:56,400 So? I slept with my gynecologist. 1719 01:27:56,600 --> 01:27:58,690 What has that got to do with it? 1720 01:27:58,980 --> 01:28:02,860 You gonna snorkel down the Amazon with him when you could've had me? 1721 01:28:03,070 --> 01:28:06,530 I'll never be the writer you are. I know that. 1722 01:28:06,740 --> 01:28:09,740 You put art into your work. I put it into my life. 1723 01:28:09,950 --> 01:28:11,410 I can make her happier. 1724 01:28:11,740 --> 01:28:13,120 I love you. 1725 01:28:13,540 --> 01:28:17,250 I do. It's just that I'm in love with Larry. 1726 01:28:18,630 --> 01:28:19,920 I'm his wife. 1727 01:28:20,130 --> 01:28:22,760 I love you too, Harry. Give us your blessing... 1728 01:28:22,960 --> 01:28:25,630 so we can go and enjoy our honeymoon. Okay? 1729 01:28:25,840 --> 01:28:28,430 We'll be in Santa Fe a month. When we come back... 1730 01:28:28,640 --> 01:28:30,390 we'll go out. We're friends. 1731 01:28:30,640 --> 01:28:33,310 He's taking you to the desert for your honeymoon? 1732 01:28:33,520 --> 01:28:36,060 Yeah. You'd never take me to the desert. 1733 01:28:36,270 --> 01:28:37,770 The desert is cactus. 1734 01:28:37,980 --> 01:28:41,190 It's Heela monsters, Gila monsters. Lizards, is the desert. 1735 01:28:41,400 --> 01:28:44,440 - Harry, please! - Give us your blessing, please? 1736 01:28:44,650 --> 01:28:46,530 Give 'em your blessings... 1737 01:28:46,740 --> 01:28:50,320 before I throw you back in the fucking cell and I bugger you! 1738 01:28:53,120 --> 01:28:55,620 I don't know what to say. I love you. 1739 01:28:55,830 --> 01:28:56,960 This guy... 1740 01:28:57,330 --> 01:28:58,670 I've loved... 1741 01:29:01,170 --> 01:29:02,460 I give up. 1742 01:29:05,300 --> 01:29:08,130 - We'll get you home. - What am I going to say? 1743 01:29:08,550 --> 01:29:11,760 Santa Fe you're going to take her? With the tacos? 1744 01:29:35,290 --> 01:29:37,580 What about the honoring ceremony? 1745 01:29:40,120 --> 01:29:41,710 We haven't had the ceremony. 1746 01:29:41,920 --> 01:29:43,790 The police interrupted. 1747 01:29:45,960 --> 01:29:47,380 What, am I dreaming? 1748 01:29:47,590 --> 01:29:48,630 Everybody dreams. 1749 01:29:48,840 --> 01:29:49,800 Come on! 1750 01:29:50,010 --> 01:29:52,510 Professor Clark has everything planned. 1751 01:29:55,060 --> 01:29:56,720 Can I bring Hilly? 1752 01:29:56,970 --> 01:29:58,640 It's your dream. 1753 01:30:00,140 --> 01:30:01,650 Stebbins Hall? 1754 01:30:01,940 --> 01:30:04,230 Everyone is waiting to honor you. 1755 01:30:04,440 --> 01:30:06,940 After all, you created them. 1756 01:31:14,970 --> 01:31:16,890 I love all of you. Really. 1757 01:31:17,100 --> 01:31:20,890 You've given me some of the happiest moments of my life... 1758 01:31:21,180 --> 01:31:23,980 You've even saved my life at times. 1759 01:31:24,230 --> 01:31:27,270 And now, you've actually taught me things. 1760 01:31:27,520 --> 01:31:28,900 And I completely grateful. 1761 01:31:29,150 --> 01:31:30,570 The author's message is... 1762 01:31:30,780 --> 01:31:32,860 "know yourself", stop kidding yourself. 1763 01:31:33,150 --> 01:31:36,160 Accept your limitations and get on with your life. 1764 01:31:36,410 --> 01:31:37,990 It's amazing. To me... 1765 01:31:38,200 --> 01:31:40,740 it's a really interesting character. 1766 01:31:40,950 --> 01:31:41,870 A guy... 1767 01:31:42,290 --> 01:31:45,080 who can't function well in life... 1768 01:31:45,330 --> 01:31:48,170 but can only function in art. 1769 01:31:48,380 --> 01:31:51,550 It's sad in away and also funny. Good for a novel. 1770 01:31:51,760 --> 01:31:54,050 Your books all seem sad on the surface. 1771 01:31:54,260 --> 01:31:56,430 Which is why l. like deconstructing them. 1772 01:31:56,640 --> 01:32:00,350 Underneath they're happy. You just don't know it. 1773 01:32:01,220 --> 01:32:03,520 I tell you. I feel like I'm in a dream. 1774 01:32:04,180 --> 01:32:07,520 This, for me, is like the best dream I've had in months. 1775 01:32:07,770 --> 01:32:09,570 The happiest dream. 1776 01:32:10,770 --> 01:32:11,980 I like it! 1777 01:32:14,110 --> 01:32:16,240 A character who's too... 1778 01:32:16,570 --> 01:32:19,200 neurotic to function in life... 1779 01:32:19,580 --> 01:32:22,290 but can only function in art. 1780 01:32:24,960 --> 01:32:26,710 Notes for a novel. 1781 01:32:27,040 --> 01:32:28,710 Opening possibility: 1782 01:32:29,670 --> 01:32:31,210 Rifkin leda... 1783 01:32:31,420 --> 01:32:32,050 fragmented... 1784 01:32:32,250 --> 01:32:33,050 disjointed... 1785 01:32:33,260 --> 01:32:34,090 existence. 1786 01:32:34,300 --> 01:32:36,720 He had long ago come to this conclusion: 1787 01:32:37,430 --> 01:32:39,760 All people know the same truth. 1788 01:32:40,050 --> 01:32:43,310 Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it. 1789 01:32:43,810 --> 01:32:46,310 Only his writing was calm... 1790 01:32:46,770 --> 01:32:50,150 his writing, which had, in more ways than one... 1791 01:32:50,610 --> 01:32:52,230 saved his life.