1
00:00:53,336 --> 00:00:55,630
I am not a bum.

2
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:58,425
I'm a jerk.

3
00:01:00,804 --> 00:01:03,015
I once had wealth,

5
00:01:04,058 --> 00:01:05,518
power...

4
00:01:06,102 --> 00:01:09,189
and the love
of a beautiful woman.

5
00:01:09,898 --> 00:01:13,778
Now, I only have two things.

6
00:01:15,321 --> 00:01:17,115
My friends

7
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,560
and, uh, my thermos.

8
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,182
My story?

9
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,683
Okay.

10
00:01:51,991 --> 00:01:55,370
It was never easy for me.

11
00:01:56,164 --> 00:01:59,918
I was born
a poor black child.

12
00:02:01,546 --> 00:02:03,798
I remember the days

13
00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:06,596
sittin' on the porch
with my family

14
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:11,164
singin' and dancin'
down in Mississippi.

15
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:20,984
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale a day

16
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,730
Boy, I hope
everybody's good and hungry.

17
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,430
I know I am.

18
00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:20,899
And I'm ready for that.

19
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:24,005
Here's corn bread
and collard greens.

20
00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,790
And I cooked up
those hog maws you like.

21
00:03:26,825 --> 00:03:29,311
Mother, dear, ain't we
forgetting somethin'?

22
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:33,646
No, I'm not.
Today is Navin's birthday.

23
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:37,348
Happy Birthday!

24
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:38,950
Today is Navin's birthday.

25
00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:41,624
And I cooked you up
your favorite meal.

26
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,725
Tuna fish salad on white bread
with mayonnaise

27
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,394
a Tab,
and a couple of Twinkies.

28
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,463
Here, darlin'.

29
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,329
Gee, Mom, thanks.

30
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:53,299
You're gonna
like that shit, man.

31
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:57,981
I got you a present.

32
00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:00,572
Gee, Elvira.

33
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:01,839
I made it myself.

34
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,208
We got you somethin', too.

35
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,978
A whole half bottle
of Lilac Vegetal.

36
00:04:05,013 --> 00:04:06,279
It's from both of us.
Gee.

37
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,249
I drew you this picture.

38
00:04:09,284 --> 00:04:10,583
Here.

39
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:12,984
Thank you.

40
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:14,691
I want you to have my Zippo.

41
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:18,561
Gee, Dad,

42
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,996
you had this since the war.

43
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,505
Thanks.

44
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,706
Thanks, everybody.

45
00:04:31,237 --> 00:04:34,047
God bless us, every one.

46
00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:36,278
Navin.

47
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:45,018
Well, will you pass me the
potatoes and the collard greens?

48
00:04:45,053 --> 00:04:46,484
Navin, darlin'?

49
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:48,537
I'm sorry
I spoiled the party, Mom.

50
00:04:48,572 --> 00:04:50,556
Aw, you didn't
spoil the party.

51
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,440
Navin, I brought you
a Twinkie.

52
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:02,546
I'm not hungry right now.

53
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,872
You feelin' different again,
huh?

54
00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:07,939
It's like I don't fit in.

55
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,809
It's like
I don't belong here.

56
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:13,649
It's your birthday,
and it's time you knew.

57
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,885
Navin, you're not
our natural-born child.

58
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:24,629
I'm not?

59
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,567
You were left on our doorstep.

60
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,872
But we raised you
like you were one of us.

61
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:34,471
You mean
I'm gonna stay this color?

62
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,937
Navin, I'd love you

63
00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:43,214
if you were the color
of a baboon's ass. Come here.

64
00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:50,121
Uh, Navin...

65
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,721
Navin, I... I wrapped
your sandwich in cellophane,

66
00:05:54,756 --> 00:05:56,325
just like you like it.

67
00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:01,227
You, uh, wanna come in
and sing some blues?

68
00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:03,596
No thanks, Taj.

69
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,473
There's somethin'
about those songs,

70
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,800
they depress me.

71
00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:10,903
Come here, darlin'.

72
00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:22,754
That's it, darlin'.

73
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,886
You're gettin' the rhythm,
see?

74
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:38,798
And that concludes
this Sunday Night Gospel Hour

75
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,998
live from the Four Square
Gospel Church

76
00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:43,843
at the Divine Salvation
in St. Louis, Missouri.

77
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,482
The Rev. Williard Willman,
Pastor.

78
00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:48,685
And now,
Music Throughout the Night.

79
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:50,810
Music in a mellow mood.

80
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,953
Grandma!

81
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,822
What happened?
What happened?

82
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:12,892
Don't touch that radio!
Don't touch it!

83
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,444
Turn it up! Turn it up!

84
00:08:14,479 --> 00:08:15,927
This is unbelievable!

85
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:18,203
I've never heard
music like this before!

86
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,699
It speaks to me!
Taj, Dad.

87
00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:24,170
This is unbelievable.
Now watch. Now watch.

88
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,041
Yeah.

89
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:31,909
Well, if this is out there,

90
00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:34,078
think how much more
is out there!

91
00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:36,148
This is the kind of music
that tells me

92
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,287
to go out there
and be somebody!

93
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:40,790
But, Navin.

94
00:08:40,825 --> 00:08:42,162
Let him go.

95
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:54,500
Son, now that you're
goin' out into the world,

96
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:57,203
there's, uh, somethin'
you should know.

97
00:08:58,404 --> 00:08:59,772
You see that?

98
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:00,872
Yeah.

99
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,341
That's shit.

100
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:06,788
And this, Shinola.

101
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:10,718
Shit.

102
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,525
Shinola.

103
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:16,193
Son, you're gonna be
all right.

104
00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:19,341
Now what town are you
gonna try for first?

105
00:09:19,376 --> 00:09:21,959
Well, I thought
I'd try to go to St. Louis

106
00:09:21,994 --> 00:09:24,630
'cause that's where that
radio show was coming from.

107
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:28,200
And remember,
the Lord loves a workin' man.

108
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,667
Lord loves a workin' man.

109
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:32,739
And Son, don't never,
ever trust whitey.

110
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,272
Don't trust whitey.

111
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:37,043
The Lord loves a workin' man,
don't trust whitey.

112
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:39,948
Oh, baby.

113
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:42,390
Daddy.

114
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:47,421
Pierre. Come here.

115
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,922
Don't you forget
to grow up now.

116
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,155
Good luck.

117
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:53,225
Send me a picture postcard.

118
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,592
Don't forget, baby.

119
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:56,629
Okay, okay,
let the boy go.

120
00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:58,029
Bye.

121
00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,730
We got work to do.

122
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:03,212
And I hope you find whatever
it is you're looking for.

123
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:09,006
I will, Ma.
I know it's out there.

124
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,210
It's out there all right,
and if you catch it,

125
00:10:11,245 --> 00:10:12,879
see a doctor
and get rid of it.

126
00:10:12,914 --> 00:10:14,513
See a doctor
and get rid of it.

127
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:15,580
Good luck.

128
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:16,983
The Lord loves a workin' man.

129
00:10:17,018 --> 00:10:18,316
Don't trust whitey.

130
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,592
See a doctor
and get rid of it.

131
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:22,699
Bye, Grandma.

132
00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:39,642
Oh, I sure do miss Navin.

133
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:44,083
Is he ever comin' back?

134
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,621
Take away
his place settin'.

135
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:48,657
It's making us
too goddamn sad.

136
00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:56,029
I wonder
if he's doin' all right.

137
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:59,102
Hey, Navin, how you doin'?

138
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,658
Don't worry 'bout me.

139
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,604
I think I see a car comin'.

140
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:05,671
No wait, it's a truck.
It's a truck.

141
00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:10,939
Oh, Lord,
take care of our little boy.

142
00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:18,344
I'm hitchhikin'.

143
00:11:18,379 --> 00:11:19,677
How far you goin'?

144
00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:21,714
St. Louis.
How far are you goin'?

145
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,250
To the end of this fence.

146
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:26,554
Okay.

147
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:33,793
I'm Navin Johnson.
What's your name, sir?

148
00:11:33,828 --> 00:11:35,203
Here we are.

149
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,597
Okay.

150
00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:44,140
Thanks for the company.

151
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:47,676
I hope
I can repay you someday.

152
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,627
Well, what is it, boy?
Are you lost?

153
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,538
Do you want to play?
Is it trouble?

154
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,745
Trouble? Is it an accident?

155
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:55,412
A drownin'? A fire?

156
00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:57,843
Fire.

157
00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:02,698
Gosh, we've got
to warn everybody.

158
00:13:02,733 --> 00:13:05,251
I've heard
about dogs like you.

159
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:07,118
You're gonna be famous.

160
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,622
You're gonna... You're gonna
get your picture taken,

161
00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:11,355
and they'll put it
in the paper.

162
00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:14,700
Gosh, this is excitin'.
You saved my life.

163
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,229
Come on,
let's warn everybody.

164
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,470
Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!

165
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,233
Fire! It's a fire!

166
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:25,271
There's a fire!
Everybody! Wake up.

167
00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:26,670
There's a fire!

168
00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:29,508
This dog,
he's saving everybody's life!

169
00:13:29,543 --> 00:13:30,908
He's unbelievable.

170
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:32,910
He's some dog.
He's a lifesaver.

171
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:35,381
That's what I'll call him,
too. Old Lifesaver.

172
00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:37,283
That's gonna be your name!

173
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,722
Folks? False alarm.
There's no fire.

174
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:49,128
Hey, mister, don't
call that dog "Lifesaver. "

175
00:13:49,163 --> 00:13:50,261
No?

176
00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:51,900
Call him "Shithead. "

177
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,874
Good. Shithead.

178
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:57,512
It's excitin'.

179
00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:01,914
It's just exciting to have
this kind of life on the road.

180
00:14:02,107 --> 00:14:03,676
A guy and his dog.

181
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:09,580
St. Louis?

182
00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,816
No. Navin Johnson.

183
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,019
No, do you want a lift
to St. Louis?

184
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,955
Oh! Okay, thanks.

185
00:14:15,990 --> 00:14:17,161
Hop in.

186
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,063
This will be fine.
Right here.

187
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,347
Thank you.

188
00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:36,564
Where you goin'?

189
00:14:36,599 --> 00:14:38,054
To the bathroom.

190
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,745
You gotta have a key.

191
00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:41,011
Can I get one?

192
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,082
My key is for customers
who buy gas.

193
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,261
I'm buying gas.

194
00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:47,962
I don't see no car.

195
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,290
I... I just need enough
for my lighter.

196
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:52,423
Oh, look at this.

197
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,326
And my wife wanted me
to stay home today.

198
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,759
Look what
I would have missed.

199
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:58,063
A complete fill-up
for a whole lighter, huh?

200
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,331
It's on that wall.

201
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,366
Thank you.

202
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,643
And don't walk away with it.

203
00:15:10,678 --> 00:15:11,917
I won't.

204
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,179
Hey, pop-top.

205
00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:17,149
Hey, silverbird,
I'm talkin' to you.

206
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:21,094
Listen, you wanna be president
of the Texaco Oil?

207
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:22,887
Sure.

208
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,026
Then clean up the sink
in there.

209
00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:28,897
Then I'll be
president of Texaco Oil?

210
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,897
Whatever happened
to workin' your way up?

211
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,900
He starts workin' for me
10 minutes

212
00:15:33,935 --> 00:15:35,869
and already
he wants to be president.

213
00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:38,135
Get to work in there.

214
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,411
But, sir, I don't work here.

215
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,877
Not even for $1. 10 an hour?

216
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:11,971
"Dear Folks, I got this
great job in a gas station.

217
00:16:12,006 --> 00:16:14,239
"I don't wanna say
how much I'm getting,

218
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,575
but let's just say
it's a lot. "

219
00:16:16,610 --> 00:16:18,779
"I'm enclosing $2."

220
00:16:18,814 --> 00:16:20,948
That's a good boy.

221
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:24,984
"It's a lot of fun working and
Mr. Hartounian is really nice.

222
00:16:25,019 --> 00:16:27,419
He's teaching me
how to be impatient. "

223
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,652
Navin!

224
00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:30,354
"Well, I gotta go now.

225
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:33,233
What do you think I do,
write letters all day?"

226
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,096
You actually
sleep here?

227
00:16:37,131 --> 00:16:38,506
Yes, is that okay?

228
00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:40,798
Come with me.

229
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,540
I got a beautiful little place
for you to stay.

230
00:16:43,575 --> 00:16:46,247
Put the light on.
You're gonna like it here.

231
00:16:47,806 --> 00:16:48,973
Like it?

232
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:52,148
I love it!
This is fabulous!

233
00:16:52,183 --> 00:16:55,288
I mean,
you got the toilet here.

234
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:57,923
This must be
the kitchen. No.

235
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:01,218
You know, what I could do

236
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:03,722
is take this wall
and just turn it this way

237
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:06,156
so I've got
a much larger living space,

238
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:08,827
plus it'll create a flow
into the main living area.

239
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,260
It'll be incredible.

240
00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:12,798
No, no, I'll just
elevate this about 6 inches.

241
00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:14,767
Create the illusion
of two rooms

242
00:17:14,802 --> 00:17:16,667
and yet still have that flow.

243
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,605
Then I can take bookshelves
and put them here.

244
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,791
No, I'll put the books
right over here.

245
00:17:21,826 --> 00:17:23,907
That way
I can be relaxed over here.

246
00:17:23,942 --> 00:17:26,011
The customers come in
and use the urinal. Navin.

247
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:28,414
I won't disturb them,
they won't disturb me.

248
00:17:28,449 --> 00:17:30,783
Take it easy, it's not here.
It's in here.

249
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,422
I couldn't afford this,
anyway.

250
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:37,459
Well, this is it.

251
00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:40,424
It's perfect.

252
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:42,594
I won't have to
change this at all.

253
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:43,970
Take a look.

254
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:47,299
No kitchen, no windows,
no chairs, no tables.

255
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,199
It's a masterpiece
of understatement.

256
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:52,237
I'll put a bed down here,
get a bigger bulb.

257
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,373
I'll bring some sheets
from the house.

258
00:17:54,408 --> 00:17:56,108
You'll be set for life.

259
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,643
Gosh!

260
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:00,089
How much is this
gonna cost me?

261
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:01,845
Nothin'.

262
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,690
When you're rich and famous,
you'll send me a postcard.

263
00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:08,089
A postcard, huh?

264
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,462
Okay. It's a deal.

265
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,139
It's a deal.

266
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,433
What are those?

267
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:24,536
Step outside
for a second, darlin'.

268
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:26,605
Navin,
this is my wife, Lenore.

269
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,107
Lenore, this is Navin.

270
00:18:28,142 --> 00:18:29,540
Pleased to meet you.

271
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:31,677
Navin, do you know why
a woman of such pulchritude

272
00:18:31,712 --> 00:18:33,277
is married to a man
like me?

273
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,312
'Cause I make
a very comfortable living.

274
00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:38,150
And this is the first time I'm
leaving you alone on a Sunday.

275
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:40,052
If anything should happen
to this station,

276
00:18:40,087 --> 00:18:42,293
this woman would leave me
like a...

277
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:46,758
In other words,
there would be no more, uh...

278
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,494
Do you know what
I'm talkin' about?

279
00:18:48,529 --> 00:18:50,098
Yes, sir. No more...

280
00:18:52,397 --> 00:18:55,467
So remember, guard
this station with your life.

281
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:57,803
Because my sex life
is in your hands.

282
00:19:09,948 --> 00:19:11,815
I can fix those shocks.

283
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:15,285
No, no, we just want some gas,
muchacho.

284
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,923
Okay, but it's Sunday.
We got to have a credit card.

285
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,226
Then all the cash
is locked up?

286
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:22,728
Oh, no, not locked up.

287
00:19:22,763 --> 00:19:24,161
We got a lot of cash.

288
00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:25,762
It's just that
the banks are closed,

289
00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:28,500
and I'm not allowed to have
cash coming in or going out

290
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,335
'cause I'm here alone
for the first time.

291
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,035
I don't want
anything to happen.

292
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:34,840
And you know, you flash this kind
of wad in front of some people,

293
00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:36,240
they'll kill you for it.

294
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:37,875
So we got to
have a credit card.

295
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:40,946
Hey, Trin, have you got
a credit card in there?

296
00:19:40,981 --> 00:19:43,448
Huh?
Credit card. Hola.

297
00:19:49,821 --> 00:19:51,723
Oh, no thanks,
I don't smoke.

298
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:53,625
What kind of cigarette
is that?

299
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:54,743
A joint.

300
00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:55,792
Joint?

301
00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:57,529
They don't make 'em very good.

302
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:58,962
Master Charge do?

303
00:19:58,997 --> 00:20:01,801
Yeah, that's fine.
We take Master Charge.

304
00:20:01,836 --> 00:20:04,606
You want a fill-up,
uh, Mrs. Nussbaum?

305
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:08,605
Oh, I'm Mr. Nussbaum.

306
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,677
Yeah, that-that's
his wife's card.

307
00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:13,296
His wife's card, huh?

308
00:20:13,331 --> 00:20:14,845
Yeah, I'll vouch for him.

309
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,155
Okay, as long as
we've got a voucher.

310
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:30,295
Stolen?

311
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,987
I got it.
Just send a police car over.

312
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,089
Mrs. Nussbaum's credit card.

313
00:20:57,124 --> 00:20:59,091
I got the guys who stole it.

314
00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:02,127
Hold on, they're calling me.

315
00:21:02,162 --> 00:21:03,562
I'll be right back.

316
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:08,899
Yes?

317
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,311
Yeah. Throw a couple of tires
in the trunk.

318
00:21:12,037 --> 00:21:14,039
Put it on the card. Radials.

319
00:21:14,074 --> 00:21:15,138
Okay.

320
00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:16,693
Make them whitewalls.

321
00:21:16,728 --> 00:21:18,213
Yes, sir, Mr. Nussbaum.

322
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:27,319
I'm back. Only,
it's worst than I thought.

323
00:21:27,354 --> 00:21:29,219
They're not only
sticking us for gas,

324
00:21:29,254 --> 00:21:31,523
but they're grabbing tires
and everything.

325
00:21:31,558 --> 00:21:33,323
They're really
socking it to us.

326
00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:35,961
Yeah, it's Hartounian's
Gas Station at the corner.

327
00:21:35,996 --> 00:21:37,160
Hang on a second.

328
00:21:37,195 --> 00:21:39,470
I don't want to
get them suspicious.

329
00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:42,200
Don't worry,
I can keep them here.

330
00:21:42,235 --> 00:21:44,202
I saw this trick in a movie.

331
00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:49,539
Got your tires.

332
00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:50,709
Yeah, yeah, good.

333
00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:36,021
Anything else?

334
00:22:36,056 --> 00:22:37,087
Yeah.

335
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:39,424
We'll take that money
you got in your pocket.

336
00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:42,495
Oh, sure.
I'll just put it on the card.

337
00:22:44,796 --> 00:22:46,563
Hey, guess what?

338
00:22:46,598 --> 00:22:48,533
You are our
eighth customer today.

339
00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:50,938
You won a free oven mitt.

340
00:22:50,973 --> 00:22:53,308
Hah! I'll go get it for you.

341
00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:10,722
Yeah, I'm back.

342
00:23:11,957 --> 00:23:13,892
Yeah, they're gonna be here
for a while.

343
00:23:13,927 --> 00:23:15,564
Don't worry. I rigged it.

344
00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:19,107
You guys wanna stick around
for an oven mitt?

345
00:23:19,631 --> 00:23:21,075
Nah!

346
00:23:24,936 --> 00:23:26,574
Hang on just a second.

347
00:23:52,230 --> 00:23:54,933
Um, they might
not be here exactly,

348
00:23:54,968 --> 00:23:56,400
uh, when you get back

349
00:23:56,435 --> 00:24:00,713
but, uh, it's a...
It's a blue Chevy two-door,

350
00:24:01,973 --> 00:24:05,079
and it'll be going south
on Hertodo Street.

351
00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:08,897
No, I can't make out
the license number

352
00:24:08,932 --> 00:24:11,583
but, uh, it'll be
pulling a small church.

353
00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:15,187
So, any blue Chevy
pulling a small church,

354
00:24:15,222 --> 00:24:17,088
I figure
that-that'd be the one.

355
00:24:17,123 --> 00:24:18,157
Yeah.

356
00:24:18,657 --> 00:24:20,727
Believe me,
I'm not mad at you.

357
00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:22,826
What's the matter with you?

358
00:24:22,861 --> 00:24:25,136
What did I lose?
A couple of tires?

359
00:24:27,265 --> 00:24:29,745
Look at the bright side,
we also lost a church.

360
00:24:30,569 --> 00:24:32,343
Gee, Mr. Hartounian.

361
00:24:34,706 --> 00:24:36,480
Gee, Mr. Hartounian!

362
00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:39,916
Oh, my God!

363
00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:43,287
Thank you.

364
00:24:52,357 --> 00:24:54,993
The new phone book's here!
The new phone book's here!

365
00:24:55,028 --> 00:24:57,629
Boy, I wish I could get
that excited about nothin'.

366
00:24:57,664 --> 00:25:00,609
Nothing? Are you kidding?
Page 73.

367
00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:03,234
"Johnson, Navin R."

368
00:25:03,269 --> 00:25:05,602
I'm somebody now!

369
00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:08,481
Millions of people
look at this book every day.

370
00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:11,346
This is the kind of
spontaneous publicity

371
00:25:11,381 --> 00:25:14,020
your name in print,
that makes people...

372
00:25:15,247 --> 00:25:16,782
I'm in print.

373
00:25:18,416 --> 00:25:21,920
Things are going to
start happening to me now.

374
00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:27,624
Johnson, Navin R.

375
00:25:27,659 --> 00:25:30,071
Sounds like a typical bastard.

376
00:25:33,899 --> 00:25:36,970
Die, Navin R. Johnson!

377
00:25:40,005 --> 00:25:42,474
Bastard.
Random son of a bitch.

378
00:25:42,509 --> 00:25:44,943
Typical
run-of-the-mill bastard.

379
00:25:44,978 --> 00:25:46,009
Fill her up?

380
00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:48,146
Fill her up, son,
and a little bit extra.

381
00:25:48,181 --> 00:25:49,613
Stan Fox, buying gas.

382
00:25:49,648 --> 00:25:51,627
Navin R. Johnson
selling it, sir.

383
00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:55,151
Got you, you average, typical,

384
00:25:55,186 --> 00:25:59,224
blocking-of-the-view of a
goddamn average victim bastard.

385
00:25:59,259 --> 00:26:00,423
Check your oil?

386
00:26:00,458 --> 00:26:02,143
Check away,
Navin R. Johnson.

387
00:26:02,178 --> 00:26:03,854
Oil rag at the ready, sir.

388
00:26:03,889 --> 00:26:06,012
Let's check the oil together.

389
00:26:06,047 --> 00:26:08,135
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

390
00:26:11,202 --> 00:26:12,703
Son-of-a-blocking bastard.

391
00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:15,941
Looks good to me, sir,
but I'd like your opinion.

392
00:26:15,976 --> 00:26:17,807
Damn these glasses.

393
00:26:17,842 --> 00:26:19,409
It looks good to me, too.

394
00:26:19,444 --> 00:26:20,912
Hurry up, son,
time's a-wastin'.

395
00:26:20,947 --> 00:26:22,112
I'm going to the john.

396
00:26:22,147 --> 00:26:23,949
Don't forget
to check those tires.

397
00:26:23,984 --> 00:26:25,752
Damn these glasses, son.

398
00:26:25,787 --> 00:26:27,521
Yes, sir, I damn thee.

399
00:26:29,054 --> 00:26:30,355
Damn.

400
00:26:34,759 --> 00:26:36,494
Damn these glasses!

401
00:26:36,529 --> 00:26:37,661
Sir.

402
00:26:37,696 --> 00:26:39,297
I can fix those glasses.

403
00:26:39,332 --> 00:26:40,463
You can?

404
00:26:40,498 --> 00:26:42,170
Well, here,
fix those suckers.

405
00:26:53,712 --> 00:26:54,815
Shit!

406
00:27:13,598 --> 00:27:17,011
Sir? Guess what?
I fixed them.

407
00:27:19,037 --> 00:27:20,403
I was back there thinking,

408
00:27:20,438 --> 00:27:23,340
"What causes glasses
to slip on and off?"

409
00:27:23,375 --> 00:27:26,276
And it's because when
you take them on and off,

410
00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:28,980
you're always putting pressure
on the frames like this.

411
00:27:29,015 --> 00:27:30,313
It causes 'em to spread.

412
00:27:30,348 --> 00:27:33,416
So I put a little handle
right here in the center,

413
00:27:33,451 --> 00:27:36,087
and it puts the pressure on
the bridge where it belongs,

414
00:27:36,122 --> 00:27:38,488
just like the tie rods
on a '72 Buick.

415
00:27:38,523 --> 00:27:40,759
Plus, I put a little
nose break on them here

416
00:27:40,794 --> 00:27:42,704
to prevent slippage. Try it.

417
00:27:43,028 --> 00:27:44,529
Use the handle.

418
00:27:47,932 --> 00:27:49,536
Well, I'll be...

419
00:27:50,902 --> 00:27:51,971
It works.

420
00:27:52,971 --> 00:27:56,174
You know, I make a pretty good
living selling shit like this.

421
00:27:56,209 --> 00:27:57,440
I'll tell you what,

422
00:27:57,475 --> 00:27:58,943
if I can develop this gizmo,

423
00:27:58,978 --> 00:28:00,377
I'll split it with you 50/50.

424
00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:02,614
Okay, how much do I owe you
for the gas?

425
00:28:02,649 --> 00:28:04,215
I got a trunk load of shit
to sell.

426
00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:05,548
$26.41.

427
00:28:05,583 --> 00:28:07,218
Here's $30.
Keep the change.

428
00:28:07,253 --> 00:28:08,492
Wow! Thanks.

429
00:28:12,223 --> 00:28:15,533
Dead center!
Say your prayers, half-breed!

430
00:28:25,570 --> 00:28:28,050
Hey, Harry.
Look at this.

431
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,052
What's the matter
with these cans?

432
00:28:32,043 --> 00:28:33,749
Die, Milk Face!

433
00:28:37,282 --> 00:28:38,900
These cans are defective.

434
00:28:38,935 --> 00:28:40,483
They're springing leaks.

435
00:28:40,518 --> 00:28:41,928
Come over here
and look at this.

436
00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:44,756
Listen,
you better run for cover

437
00:28:44,791 --> 00:28:46,291
or you're gonna spring a leak.
Uh?

438
00:28:46,326 --> 00:28:47,757
We don't have
defective cans.

439
00:28:47,792 --> 00:28:49,532
We have a defective person
out there.

440
00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:54,304
He hates these cans.

441
00:28:55,467 --> 00:28:57,469
Stay away from the cans!

442
00:28:57,969 --> 00:28:59,709
Die, gas pumper.

443
00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:02,741
I got to get away
from those cans.

444
00:29:03,875 --> 00:29:05,752
There's cans in there, too.

445
00:29:09,848 --> 00:29:11,190
More cans.

446
00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:13,955
Die, you bastard.

447
00:29:16,354 --> 00:29:18,189
He doesn't want to put holes
in the cans.

448
00:29:18,224 --> 00:29:19,891
He wants to put holes in you.

449
00:29:19,926 --> 00:29:20,960
What?

450
00:29:24,629 --> 00:29:26,665
Milk face bastard!

451
00:29:27,465 --> 00:29:30,101
Oh, my God.
I'm endangering your life.

452
00:29:30,136 --> 00:29:31,903
Cover me.
You're covered.

453
00:29:31,938 --> 00:29:33,939
Suck my toes!

454
00:29:39,244 --> 00:29:41,485
You stay here.
I'll distract him.

455
00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:58,535
Shithead! Come on!

456
00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:03,805
Come on, boy. Good boy.

457
00:30:33,832 --> 00:30:36,369
"Carnival personnel only. "
Damn.

458
00:30:41,272 --> 00:30:42,682
Shithead, come on!

459
00:30:43,441 --> 00:30:45,352
You're not carnival personnel!

460
00:30:48,813 --> 00:30:50,380
Come on, boy, come on.

461
00:30:50,415 --> 00:30:52,951
Hey, he ain't
no carnival personnel.

462
00:30:54,252 --> 00:30:55,954
Okay, you move it out.

463
00:31:02,794 --> 00:31:05,897
So, Mom, when I told
Mr. Hartounian I'd come back,

464
00:31:05,932 --> 00:31:08,766
he said "Don't be a putz.
See the world.

465
00:31:08,801 --> 00:31:10,472
Me, you've seen already. "

466
00:31:10,735 --> 00:31:13,905
I took his advice and got
a job with SJM Fiesta Shows

467
00:31:13,940 --> 00:31:15,324
as a weight guesser.

468
00:31:15,359 --> 00:31:16,673
Frosty, my boss, told me

469
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:19,778
there's a big future
in weight guessing.

470
00:31:19,813 --> 00:31:22,848
Enclosed is $4.75
for my loving family.

471
00:31:23,915 --> 00:31:26,258
P.S. Is Grandma still fartin'?

472
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:28,218
For $1,

473
00:31:28,253 --> 00:31:31,359
I'll guess your weight,
your height, or your sex.

474
00:31:31,789 --> 00:31:34,492
The most exciting thing
on the midway.

475
00:31:34,527 --> 00:31:35,792
Imagine the thrill

476
00:31:35,827 --> 00:31:39,128
of getting your weight guessed
by a professional.

477
00:31:39,163 --> 00:31:42,200
You can blow up your cheeks,
you can stick out your chest,

478
00:31:42,235 --> 00:31:45,003
but you're not going
to fool the guesser.

479
00:31:45,038 --> 00:31:47,139
How about you, sir?
Step right up.

480
00:31:47,174 --> 00:31:49,240
Honey, let's see
how good this guy is.

481
00:31:49,275 --> 00:31:50,980
Now, what do I win?

482
00:31:52,076 --> 00:31:55,853
Uh, anything in this
general area, right in here.

483
00:31:56,014 --> 00:31:57,947
Anything below the stereo,

484
00:31:57,982 --> 00:32:01,106
and on this side
of the bicentennial glasses.

485
00:32:01,141 --> 00:32:04,230
Anything between
the ashtrays and the thimble.

486
00:32:04,522 --> 00:32:06,674
Anything in these
three inches.

487
00:32:06,709 --> 00:32:08,791
Right in here, in this area,

488
00:32:08,826 --> 00:32:11,596
that includes the Chiclets
but not the erasers.

489
00:32:11,631 --> 00:32:13,496
No, sir. Come on, honey.

490
00:32:13,531 --> 00:32:15,635
He thought
he had himself a rube.

491
00:32:18,569 --> 00:32:20,888
Frosty, I am just
no good at this.

492
00:32:20,923 --> 00:32:23,199
Oh, come on, Navin,
you're doing fine.

493
00:32:23,234 --> 00:32:25,476
No, I've already given away
eight pencils,

494
00:32:25,511 --> 00:32:27,145
two hula dolls,
and an ashtray,

495
00:32:27,180 --> 00:32:29,386
and I've only taken in $15.

496
00:32:29,814 --> 00:32:32,448
Navin, you have taken in $15

497
00:32:32,483 --> 00:32:35,259
and given away 50 cents'
worth of crap.

498
00:32:35,820 --> 00:32:38,857
Which gives us
a net profit of $14.50.

499
00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:47,102
It's a profit deal.

500
00:32:50,101 --> 00:32:52,240
That takes the pressure off.

501
00:32:52,904 --> 00:32:54,839
Get your weight guessed
right here.

502
00:32:54,874 --> 00:32:56,272
Only $1.

503
00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:57,974
Actual live weight guessing.

504
00:32:58,009 --> 00:33:00,244
Take a chance
and win some crap.

505
00:33:00,279 --> 00:33:01,577
Step right up.

506
00:33:01,612 --> 00:33:06,017
Ladies and gentlemen,
I draw your attention now

507
00:33:06,052 --> 00:33:08,885
to the left side
of our midway,

508
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:13,095
presenting the amazing
Patty Bernstein

509
00:33:14,625 --> 00:33:19,230
doing her special ride through
the Flaming Wall of Death.

510
00:34:25,263 --> 00:34:27,504
Wanna guess my weight,
greenie?

511
00:34:27,799 --> 00:34:30,134
I saw you last night.
You were great.

512
00:34:30,169 --> 00:34:31,438
Yeah, right.

513
00:34:31,473 --> 00:34:32,707
Turn around.

514
00:34:33,638 --> 00:34:34,809
What?

515
00:34:34,972 --> 00:34:36,382
Turn around.

516
00:34:38,976 --> 00:34:40,455
Go like this.

517
00:34:43,948 --> 00:34:45,324
You're okay.

518
00:34:45,683 --> 00:34:47,662
Give me a bite
of that corn dog.

519
00:34:48,019 --> 00:34:49,623
What about germs?

520
00:34:50,288 --> 00:34:52,028
Put a rubber on it.

521
00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:56,465
Get on.

522
00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:04,652
Don't you wear him out.

523
00:35:04,687 --> 00:35:06,203
He's got to work tonight.

524
00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:14,415
What a great place.

525
00:35:17,715 --> 00:35:20,118
You know, you can tell
so much about a person

526
00:35:20,153 --> 00:35:21,570
from the way they live.

527
00:35:21,605 --> 00:35:22,952
Just looking around here,

528
00:35:22,987 --> 00:35:26,024
I can tell you're
a genuinely dirty person.

529
00:35:30,528 --> 00:35:32,371
What do I do with this?

530
00:35:35,399 --> 00:35:37,276
Oh, you keep it there.

531
00:35:41,372 --> 00:35:43,181
Where's your garbage?

532
00:35:51,582 --> 00:35:53,417
Do you know
what I'd like to do?

533
00:35:53,452 --> 00:35:54,520
What?

534
00:35:55,686 --> 00:35:57,186
Guess your weight.

535
00:35:57,221 --> 00:35:59,390
Hey, that would be
interesting for me.

536
00:35:59,425 --> 00:36:01,524
No one has tried
to guess my weight.

537
00:36:01,559 --> 00:36:03,628
You see, I guess
their weights. It'd be sort...

538
00:36:03,663 --> 00:36:04,834
Put your arms up.

539
00:36:07,231 --> 00:36:10,769
This will give me a whole
different perspective on this.

540
00:36:15,072 --> 00:36:17,814
Hey, you're really
trying to be accurate.

541
00:36:23,481 --> 00:36:25,517
Is it getting hot in here?

542
00:36:27,118 --> 00:36:28,885
Wait a minute!

543
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,022
What's happening
to my special purpose?

544
00:36:31,057 --> 00:36:32,390
What's your
"special purpose"?

545
00:36:32,425 --> 00:36:33,656
Well, when I was a kid,

546
00:36:33,691 --> 00:36:36,192
my mom told me
that was my special purpose

547
00:36:36,227 --> 00:36:39,130
and someday I'd find out
what that special purpose was.

548
00:36:39,165 --> 00:36:40,798
Today's the day!

549
00:36:45,870 --> 00:36:48,606
Hey, this is
like a... a ride.

550
00:36:50,408 --> 00:36:53,878
"My Dear Family, guess what?

551
00:36:54,979 --> 00:36:59,757
"Today I found out what
my special purpose is for.

552
00:37:01,519 --> 00:37:04,226
"Gosh,
what a great time I had.

553
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:08,628
"I wish the whole family
could have been here with me.

554
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,699
"Maybe some other time

555
00:37:12,496 --> 00:37:15,272
"as I intend to do this a lot

556
00:37:16,467 --> 00:37:18,344
"every chance I get.

557
00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:22,678
"I think next week I'll be
able to send more money

558
00:37:22,974 --> 00:37:25,249
"as I may have extra work.

559
00:37:25,910 --> 00:37:28,788
"My friend Patty
promised me a blowjob.

560
00:37:29,113 --> 00:37:31,024
Your lovin' son, Navin. "

561
00:37:31,582 --> 00:37:33,857
And he's got the kisses here.

562
00:37:36,187 --> 00:37:38,589
That Patty
must be a sweet girl.

563
00:37:38,624 --> 00:37:40,090
God bless her.

564
00:38:07,451 --> 00:38:09,987
Do you ever think
we'll get to know each other

565
00:38:10,022 --> 00:38:11,854
well enough to kiss?

566
00:38:11,889 --> 00:38:14,369
We don't have to.
You're my man.

567
00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:17,096
It's like we're married.
Look at my ass.

568
00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:19,570
Gosh!

569
00:38:19,697 --> 00:38:23,303
You have my last name tattooed
right there under the "J's. "

570
00:38:24,402 --> 00:38:26,470
First I get my name
in the phone book,

571
00:38:26,505 --> 00:38:28,540
and now I'm on your ass.

572
00:38:28,873 --> 00:38:32,411
You know, I'll bet more people
see that than the phone book.

573
00:38:46,123 --> 00:38:48,492
End of the line.
This is Engineer Fred.

574
00:38:48,527 --> 00:38:50,665
Come back and visit me again.

575
00:38:55,266 --> 00:38:56,642
Billy.

576
00:38:59,370 --> 00:39:00,780
Billy.

577
00:39:01,839 --> 00:39:03,039
Woo-woo!

578
00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:05,474
Have you seen
a 5-year-old boy, blond hair,

579
00:39:05,509 --> 00:39:08,145
and he's wearing a T-shirt
that says "Bullshit" on it?

580
00:39:08,180 --> 00:39:10,279
No. There was
just one kid earlier,

581
00:39:10,314 --> 00:39:12,750
had a T-shirt that said
"Life sucks" on it.

582
00:39:12,785 --> 00:39:14,418
We got off the roundup
and he said

583
00:39:14,453 --> 00:39:15,985
he wanted to go on the trains.

584
00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:18,189
Well, I don't think...
There he is. Billy!

585
00:39:18,224 --> 00:39:19,522
Hey, come back here!

586
00:39:19,557 --> 00:39:21,057
Billy,
come on off that train!

587
00:39:21,092 --> 00:39:23,561
Pull that lever! Pull the
lever! Here, hold that.

588
00:39:23,596 --> 00:39:24,847
And these.

589
00:39:24,882 --> 00:39:26,098
Billy!

590
00:39:26,731 --> 00:39:29,473
And take my keys.
And hold my wallet.

591
00:39:30,234 --> 00:39:31,267
Okay.

592
00:39:31,302 --> 00:39:33,087
Don't touch the Johnson bar.

593
00:39:33,122 --> 00:39:34,837
You'll explode
the fuel casing.

594
00:39:34,872 --> 00:39:37,541
And if the Wilson-Smith
indicator gets above 160,

595
00:39:37,576 --> 00:39:38,774
just turn that little...

596
00:39:38,809 --> 00:39:41,178
Billy, I can't take you
anywhere anymore!

597
00:39:41,213 --> 00:39:42,964
There's a little
screwdriver there.

598
00:39:42,999 --> 00:39:44,715
Just put it in,
turn it one-quarter.

599
00:39:44,750 --> 00:39:46,282
We're going
into the tunnel.

600
00:39:46,317 --> 00:39:49,186
Don't stand up because the
clearance is only four foot...

601
00:39:49,221 --> 00:39:50,528
Oh, no!

602
00:39:50,654 --> 00:39:53,657
I'm okay. I was protected by
the bill of my Engineer Fred cap.

603
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,979
Thanks for
pulling my cap down.

604
00:40:14,044 --> 00:40:15,250
Oh, Billy.

605
00:40:15,913 --> 00:40:18,215
Billy, you scared me
half to death.

606
00:40:18,250 --> 00:40:19,849
Thank you so much.

607
00:40:19,884 --> 00:40:23,220
It would have been so embarrassing
to go home without Billy.

608
00:40:23,255 --> 00:40:26,643
Oh, here's your gloves
and your oil can

609
00:40:26,678 --> 00:40:30,031
and your wallet.
Oh, and this fell out.

610
00:40:33,564 --> 00:40:35,134
Those guys.

611
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:39,770
Listen, what you did just now
was very brave.

612
00:40:40,037 --> 00:40:42,141
Is there some way
I could repay you?

613
00:40:42,740 --> 00:40:44,006
Repay me?

614
00:40:44,041 --> 00:40:46,110
I could never accept
anything from you

615
00:40:46,145 --> 00:40:47,766
for saving your child.

616
00:40:47,801 --> 00:40:49,388
Oh, he's not my child.

617
00:40:49,647 --> 00:40:51,717
I'm just babysitting
for a friend.

618
00:40:52,049 --> 00:40:54,756
Oh! Would it be too much
if I asked for a kiss?

619
00:40:54,952 --> 00:40:55,987
No.

620
00:40:59,390 --> 00:41:01,460
He's a real little dickens.

621
00:41:09,934 --> 00:41:11,003
Thank you.

622
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,246
Oh, Miss?

623
00:41:18,576 --> 00:41:21,181
I was... I was just
standing here right now and

624
00:41:21,412 --> 00:41:24,825
I was wondering if you weren't
doing anything tomorrow

625
00:41:27,451 --> 00:41:30,727
that maybe you might wanna
go out or...

626
00:41:32,223 --> 00:41:33,326
What?

627
00:41:34,925 --> 00:41:39,339
I thought maybe you might
wanna go out with me.

628
00:41:40,231 --> 00:41:42,608
Are you trying to ask me
for a date?

629
00:41:43,634 --> 00:41:44,874
Well...

630
00:41:45,703 --> 00:41:48,809
Once for no, twice for yes.

631
00:41:52,309 --> 00:41:53,310
Okay.

632
00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:56,753
Um, you're so cute.

633
00:41:57,281 --> 00:42:00,751
How about 3:30 tomorrow
at the roundup?

634
00:42:00,786 --> 00:42:02,059
Okay.

635
00:42:05,122 --> 00:42:06,965
Do you have
any boyfriends?

636
00:42:08,926 --> 00:42:10,244
Not really.

637
00:42:10,279 --> 00:42:11,527
Are they crazy?

638
00:42:11,562 --> 00:42:14,231
If I was a fella,
I'd be around all the time.

639
00:42:14,266 --> 00:42:16,404
Well, see if you can
work it out.

640
00:42:17,334 --> 00:42:19,336
We have a date tomorrow.

641
00:42:20,504 --> 00:42:21,983
What's your name?

642
00:42:23,240 --> 00:42:24,377
Marie.

643
00:42:26,010 --> 00:42:27,076
What's yours?

644
00:42:27,111 --> 00:42:28,777
I'll tell you tomorrow.

645
00:42:28,812 --> 00:42:31,792
It'll give us something
interesting to talk about.

646
00:42:49,133 --> 00:42:50,407
Hi.

647
00:42:50,534 --> 00:42:52,274
What's up, hubby?

648
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:56,012
I got these for you.

649
00:42:58,876 --> 00:43:00,218
Thanks.

650
00:43:00,878 --> 00:43:04,281
Navin, you know the other day
when I showed you the tattoo?

651
00:43:04,316 --> 00:43:05,521
Yeah. Yeah.

652
00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:08,218
Well, I forgot
to tell you somethin'.

653
00:43:08,253 --> 00:43:09,787
Oh, really? What?

654
00:43:09,822 --> 00:43:11,129
This.

655
00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:19,728
And that's
what's gonna happen to you

656
00:43:19,763 --> 00:43:22,266
if I ever catch you looking
at another broad.

657
00:43:22,301 --> 00:43:23,832
I'm glad you told me.

658
00:43:23,867 --> 00:43:27,712
And remember,
I did this without anger.

659
00:43:28,539 --> 00:43:30,780
And I stayed away
from your crotch.

660
00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:34,214
Bye, sweetie.

661
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:37,886
Hi.

662
00:43:38,148 --> 00:43:39,422
What happened?

663
00:43:39,717 --> 00:43:42,886
Oh, it was unbelievable.
These guys jumped me.

664
00:43:42,921 --> 00:43:44,521
Tried to get these flowers.

665
00:43:44,556 --> 00:43:45,955
I got 'em for you.

666
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:48,470
It's kind of
a traditional date deal.

667
00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:51,996
Yeah, I've heard of that.
What were they?

668
00:43:52,696 --> 00:43:54,971
Uh, couple of dozen roses.

669
00:43:56,266 --> 00:43:57,735
Look like daisy stems.

670
00:43:57,770 --> 00:43:59,134
What?

671
00:43:59,169 --> 00:44:01,170
That guy gypped me.

672
00:44:01,205 --> 00:44:03,907
He put... put daisy stems
on my roses.

673
00:44:05,242 --> 00:44:07,443
Hey, look,
these hoodlums are dangerous.

674
00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:10,981
I think we ought to get out
of here before she sees us.

675
00:44:11,016 --> 00:44:12,083
She?

676
00:44:12,118 --> 00:44:13,115
What?

677
00:44:13,150 --> 00:44:14,516
You said "she. "

678
00:44:14,551 --> 00:44:17,588
No. No.
I always call a gang "she. "

679
00:44:17,788 --> 00:44:19,857
It's like
when you call a boat "she,"

680
00:44:19,892 --> 00:44:21,659
or... or a hurricane "she. "

681
00:44:21,694 --> 00:44:23,001
Or a girl?

682
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,160
A girl.
You can call a girl "she. "

683
00:44:25,195 --> 00:44:28,039
That's just one of the many
things you can call "she. "

684
00:44:30,834 --> 00:44:32,608
Why are you smiling?

685
00:44:33,404 --> 00:44:36,384
You're the first person
I've ever had in my place.

686
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,376
Do you live here?
Oh, it's nice.

687
00:44:39,411 --> 00:44:41,143
So, did you decorate it?

688
00:44:41,178 --> 00:44:43,313
I got all this stuff from
the old Cup O' Pizza place

689
00:44:43,348 --> 00:44:45,156
before they tore it down.

690
00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:50,719
That was really good pizza.

691
00:44:50,754 --> 00:44:52,756
Oh, this is the best
pizza in a cup ever.

692
00:44:52,791 --> 00:44:54,323
This guy's unbelievable.

693
00:44:54,358 --> 00:44:56,560
He ran the old Cup O' Pizza
guy out of business.

694
00:44:56,595 --> 00:44:57,626
Really?

695
00:44:57,661 --> 00:45:00,107
People come from all over
to get this.

696
00:45:13,143 --> 00:45:16,055
You know,
you have beautiful skin.

697
00:45:19,249 --> 00:45:20,523
May I?

698
00:45:21,318 --> 00:45:22,387
Yes.

699
00:45:27,091 --> 00:45:29,366
So smooth and flexible.

700
00:45:30,494 --> 00:45:33,362
I take after my mother's side
of the family.

701
00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:37,345
It's amazing the way it just
snaps back like that. Amazing.

702
00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:40,404
Are you a model?

703
00:45:40,439 --> 00:45:41,439
No.

704
00:45:43,774 --> 00:45:45,548
I'm a cosmetologist.

705
00:45:46,143 --> 00:45:48,680
Really? A cosmetologist?

706
00:45:49,813 --> 00:45:53,351
That's unbelievable.
That's impressive.

707
00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:57,023
It must be tough to handle
the weightlessness.

708
00:45:59,022 --> 00:46:01,434
Can I ask you
a personal question?

709
00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:03,969
What is it?

710
00:46:05,863 --> 00:46:07,740
Now be totally honest.

711
00:46:09,066 --> 00:46:11,045
You do have a boyfriend,
don't you?

712
00:46:11,668 --> 00:46:13,044
Kind of.

713
00:46:15,038 --> 00:46:17,245
I know this is our first date

714
00:46:19,343 --> 00:46:20,981
but do you think

715
00:46:21,211 --> 00:46:24,157
the next time you make love
to your boyfriend,

716
00:46:25,282 --> 00:46:26,886
you could think of me?

717
00:46:27,351 --> 00:46:29,421
Well, I haven't
made love to him yet.

718
00:46:29,953 --> 00:46:31,295
That's too bad.

719
00:46:32,256 --> 00:46:35,259
Do you think
it's possible that some day

720
00:46:37,127 --> 00:46:39,830
you could make love with me
and think of him?

721
00:46:39,865 --> 00:46:41,172
Who knows?

722
00:46:41,331 --> 00:46:44,471
Maybe you and he can make love
and you could think of me.

723
00:46:46,270 --> 00:46:48,943
I'd just be happy
to be in there somewhere.

724
00:47:05,556 --> 00:47:07,224
Do you have a girlfriend?

725
00:47:07,259 --> 00:47:08,490
Does it matter?

726
00:47:08,525 --> 00:47:11,028
Well, I'd like to think
you were available.

727
00:47:11,361 --> 00:47:12,965
Oh, I'm available.

728
00:47:24,341 --> 00:47:25,974
Did you forget
about my ass?

729
00:47:26,009 --> 00:47:28,411
No! No, I've been
thinking about it.

730
00:47:28,446 --> 00:47:30,699
She tattooed my name
on her ass.

731
00:47:30,734 --> 00:47:32,953
Not just my name,
a lot of names.

732
00:47:33,217 --> 00:47:34,783
And funny sayings, too.

733
00:47:34,818 --> 00:47:37,588
She's got one up there that
says, "Slippery when wet. "

734
00:47:37,623 --> 00:47:38,854
How do you know that?

735
00:47:38,889 --> 00:47:40,891
What is she?
Some great piece of ass?

736
00:47:40,926 --> 00:47:42,700
She's no great piece of ass.

737
00:47:43,594 --> 00:47:44,827
I mean...

738
00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:47,481
Hey, wait... wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

739
00:47:47,516 --> 00:47:50,065
We're all adults here.
Let's reason this out.

740
00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:52,836
Now Marie is the type
of person that if you gotta...

741
00:47:52,871 --> 00:47:55,339
If this gash doesn't
get her buns out of here,

742
00:47:55,374 --> 00:47:57,547
I am gonna drive this bike
up her butt!

743
00:47:57,582 --> 00:47:59,720
While Patty
tends to be more direct.

744
00:47:59,843 --> 00:48:01,311
As for you, farm boy,

745
00:48:02,579 --> 00:48:03,750
We're married!

746
00:48:04,147 --> 00:48:06,092
And as for you,
kewpie doll...

747
00:48:09,519 --> 00:48:10,853
You protected me!

748
00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:12,867
You must really like me.

749
00:48:18,362 --> 00:48:22,969
I know, I know, you belong

750
00:48:23,533 --> 00:48:28,209
To somebody new

751
00:48:29,006 --> 00:48:31,340
But tonight

752
00:48:31,375 --> 00:48:35,721
You belong to me

753
00:48:39,616 --> 00:48:44,531
Although,
although we're apart

754
00:48:44,855 --> 00:48:49,770
You're a part of my heart

755
00:48:50,260 --> 00:48:52,603
And tonight

756
00:48:52,996 --> 00:48:57,137
You belong to me

757
00:49:00,904 --> 00:49:03,281
Way down

758
00:49:03,674 --> 00:49:05,619
By the stream

759
00:49:06,276 --> 00:49:08,551
How sweet

760
00:49:08,879 --> 00:49:10,983
It will seem

761
00:49:11,548 --> 00:49:16,155
Once more, just to dream

762
00:49:16,853 --> 00:49:19,356
In the moonlight

763
00:49:20,757 --> 00:49:24,828
My Honey, I know, I know

764
00:49:24,863 --> 00:49:27,240
With the dawn

765
00:49:27,497 --> 00:49:29,901
That you

766
00:49:29,936 --> 00:49:32,306
Will be gone

767
00:49:32,569 --> 00:49:34,878
But tonight

768
00:49:35,339 --> 00:49:39,287
You belong to me

769
00:49:39,509 --> 00:49:42,012
Just to little old me

770
00:50:13,477 --> 00:50:14,853
You know,

771
00:50:16,179 --> 00:50:18,281
while you were
playing that just now,

772
00:50:19,916 --> 00:50:22,419
I had the craziest
fantasy that I could

773
00:50:23,620 --> 00:50:24,655
rise up.

774
00:50:25,655 --> 00:50:29,000
Float right down
the end of this cornet.

775
00:50:30,127 --> 00:50:31,662
Right through here.

776
00:50:32,195 --> 00:50:33,537
Through these valves,

777
00:50:34,498 --> 00:50:36,409
right along this tube,

778
00:50:37,434 --> 00:50:39,573
come right up
against your lips,

779
00:50:40,504 --> 00:50:41,880
and give you a kiss.

780
00:50:45,375 --> 00:50:46,649
Why didn't you?

781
00:50:47,744 --> 00:50:49,951
I didn't want to get
spit on me.

782
00:51:42,599 --> 00:51:44,442
Was it good for you, too?

783
00:51:48,405 --> 00:51:50,077
I really do want to kiss you.

784
00:51:52,742 --> 00:51:54,016
But I'm afraid.

785
00:51:55,078 --> 00:51:56,813
I would've kept
my tongue in.

786
00:51:56,848 --> 00:51:58,257
No, I mean,

787
00:52:01,051 --> 00:52:03,030
I'm afraid if I kiss you,

788
00:52:05,055 --> 00:52:06,829
I'll fall in love with you.

789
00:52:08,291 --> 00:52:09,428
You will?

790
00:52:10,460 --> 00:52:12,269
And I don't want to.

791
00:52:13,530 --> 00:52:14,667
You don't?

792
00:52:16,666 --> 00:52:18,400
My mother
sacrificed everything

793
00:52:18,435 --> 00:52:20,812
to send me through
cosmetology school.

794
00:52:21,271 --> 00:52:22,340
She did?

795
00:52:24,007 --> 00:52:26,646
She has this dream
for me to be something.

796
00:52:27,544 --> 00:52:28,579
She does?

797
00:52:30,347 --> 00:52:33,191
To marry someone with power,

798
00:52:34,217 --> 00:52:35,889
money, vision.

799
00:52:37,787 --> 00:52:40,199
Someone with
a special purpose.

800
00:52:43,493 --> 00:52:44,937
I've got one!

801
00:52:45,996 --> 00:52:48,131
I've got a special purpose!

802
00:52:48,166 --> 00:52:49,397
You do?

803
00:52:49,432 --> 00:52:51,566
Yes, it's fantastic!

804
00:52:51,601 --> 00:52:54,479
It's great!
It's unbelievable!

805
00:52:54,971 --> 00:52:56,940
And I was afraid
to tell you about it!

806
00:52:56,975 --> 00:52:58,817
Your mother's gonna love me!

807
00:53:01,845 --> 00:53:03,949
Marie, are you awake?

808
00:53:06,082 --> 00:53:07,151
Good.

809
00:53:09,352 --> 00:53:11,525
You look so beautiful
and peaceful,

810
00:53:11,721 --> 00:53:13,598
you almost look dead.

811
00:53:16,526 --> 00:53:18,061
And I'm glad because

812
00:53:18,428 --> 00:53:21,097
there's something I wanna say
that's always been very difficult

813
00:53:21,132 --> 00:53:22,803
for me to say.

814
00:53:24,234 --> 00:53:25,955
I slit the sheet,
the sheet I slit,

815
00:53:25,990 --> 00:53:27,676
and on the slitted sheet
I sit.

816
00:53:30,340 --> 00:53:31,973
I've never been
relaxed enough

817
00:53:32,008 --> 00:53:34,249
around anyone
to be able to say that.

818
00:53:35,345 --> 00:53:37,415
You give me confidence
in myself.

819
00:53:39,149 --> 00:53:41,122
I know we've only known
each other

820
00:53:41,157 --> 00:53:43,096
for four weeks
and three days,

821
00:53:43,553 --> 00:53:44,793
but to me

822
00:53:45,188 --> 00:53:47,634
it seems like
nine weeks and five days.

823
00:53:49,626 --> 00:53:51,765
The first day
seemed like a week.

824
00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:55,842
And the second day
seemed like five days.

825
00:53:56,967 --> 00:53:59,140
And the third day
seemed like a week again.

826
00:53:59,803 --> 00:54:02,749
And the fourth day
seemed like eight days.

827
00:54:03,773 --> 00:54:06,549
But the fifth day,
you went to see your mother.

828
00:54:07,210 --> 00:54:09,121
And that seemed
just like a day.

829
00:54:10,146 --> 00:54:12,819
But then you
came back and later

830
00:54:13,717 --> 00:54:16,629
on the sixth day, in the
evening, when we saw each other,

831
00:54:16,987 --> 00:54:20,332
that started seeming
like two days.

832
00:54:21,191 --> 00:54:22,657
So in the evening,
it seemed like

833
00:54:22,692 --> 00:54:24,927
two days spilling over
into the next day.

834
00:54:24,962 --> 00:54:27,163
And that started
seeming like four days.

835
00:54:27,198 --> 00:54:29,404
So at the end
of the sixth day,

836
00:54:29,766 --> 00:54:33,213
on into the seventh day, it
seemed like a total of five days.

837
00:54:34,337 --> 00:54:37,545
And the sixth day
seemed like

838
00:54:38,174 --> 00:54:39,812
a week and a half.

839
00:54:41,177 --> 00:54:42,377
I have it written down

840
00:54:42,412 --> 00:54:45,654
but I can... I can show it to
you tomorrow if you wanna see it.

841
00:54:46,716 --> 00:54:50,459
Anyway,
I've decided that tomorrow,

842
00:54:51,388 --> 00:54:52,958
when the time is right,

843
00:54:54,357 --> 00:54:55,995
I'm gonna ask
you to marry me.

844
00:54:58,795 --> 00:55:00,501
If that's okay with you.

845
00:55:01,031 --> 00:55:03,010
Just don't say anything.

846
00:55:07,437 --> 00:55:09,507
You've made me very happy.

847
00:55:18,114 --> 00:55:22,384
Oh, I'll see you again

848
00:55:22,419 --> 00:55:26,662
Whenever spring
breaks through again

849
00:55:27,724 --> 00:55:29,294
Honey, sing!

850
00:55:31,594 --> 00:55:35,098
Time may lie heavy between

851
00:55:35,133 --> 00:55:36,804
But what has been

852
00:55:37,467 --> 00:55:40,880
Is past forgetting

853
00:55:41,571 --> 00:55:45,573
This sweet memory

854
00:55:45,608 --> 00:55:48,278
Across the years,
will come

855
00:55:50,146 --> 00:55:51,886
To me

856
00:55:52,115 --> 00:55:54,503
Though my world

857
00:55:54,538 --> 00:55:56,892
May go awry

858
00:55:57,153 --> 00:55:59,742
In my heart

859
00:55:59,777 --> 00:56:02,331
Will ever lie

860
00:56:02,926 --> 00:56:06,805
Just the echo of a sigh

861
00:56:11,334 --> 00:56:12,642
Goodbye

862
00:56:13,737 --> 00:56:17,116
Honey, who's the happiest guy
in the world?

863
00:56:18,842 --> 00:56:20,048
You are.

864
00:56:20,443 --> 00:56:21,976
That's right.

865
00:56:22,011 --> 00:56:24,388
And who's the happiest gal?

866
00:56:26,950 --> 00:56:28,451
That's right.

867
00:56:28,818 --> 00:56:30,018
Honey, guess what?

868
00:56:30,053 --> 00:56:32,089
I wrote a song
for you this morning.

869
00:56:32,522 --> 00:56:36,299
Oh, I'm picking out
a thermos for you

870
00:56:37,193 --> 00:56:40,731
Not an ordinary
thermos for you

871
00:56:41,197 --> 00:56:44,872
But the extra-best thermos
you can buy

872
00:56:45,034 --> 00:56:48,413
With vinyl and stripes
and a cup built right in

873
00:56:48,705 --> 00:56:52,311
I'm picking out a thermos
for you

874
00:56:52,776 --> 00:56:55,813
And maybe a barometer, too

875
00:56:56,146 --> 00:57:00,025
And what else can I buy
so on me you'll rely

876
00:57:00,283 --> 00:57:02,660
A rear-end
thermometer, too

877
00:57:02,886 --> 00:57:04,194
Honey?

878
00:57:04,354 --> 00:57:06,857
There's a question
I've been wanting to pop,

879
00:57:07,123 --> 00:57:09,227
but I've been
afraid you'd say no.

880
00:57:09,793 --> 00:57:12,695
But this seems like
the right time and place.

881
00:57:12,730 --> 00:57:14,037
So here goes.

882
00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:18,037
Honey, will you marry me?

883
00:57:21,838 --> 00:57:24,113
Come on,
let's seal it with a kiss!

884
00:57:24,340 --> 00:57:26,012
Get in the tub with me!

885
00:57:27,544 --> 00:57:30,081
Not you, Shithead!
Where's Marie?

886
00:57:31,514 --> 00:57:33,015
What letter?

887
00:57:40,890 --> 00:57:42,562
"Dear Navin. "

888
00:57:48,498 --> 00:57:49,874
...to tell...

889
00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:53,644
...to be...

890
00:57:59,642 --> 00:58:01,876
Marie! Marie!

891
00:58:01,911 --> 00:58:04,214
Shithead, come here.

892
00:58:04,249 --> 00:58:05,580
Good idea.

893
00:58:05,615 --> 00:58:08,583
Marie! Marie,
why did you leave me?

894
00:58:08,618 --> 00:58:11,155
I couldn't read the letter.
It was too blurry.

895
00:58:11,421 --> 00:58:13,594
Marie! Marie!

896
00:58:13,990 --> 00:58:17,643
Here, boy.

897
00:58:17,678 --> 00:58:21,297
Marie! Marie!

898
00:58:21,931 --> 00:58:23,501
Where are you, Marie?

899
00:58:27,403 --> 00:58:30,440
Marie! Marie!

900
00:58:40,650 --> 00:58:42,595
This is not gonna be easy,
Shithead.

901
00:58:43,987 --> 00:58:46,228
We've been together
a long time.

902
00:58:46,956 --> 00:58:49,026
But I gotta head down
that road.

903
00:58:50,593 --> 00:58:52,360
And there'll be times
out there

904
00:58:52,395 --> 00:58:54,875
when there won't be
enough food for two.

905
00:58:55,064 --> 00:58:56,733
And I won't be able to...

906
00:58:56,768 --> 00:58:58,552
Hey, wait a minute!

907
00:58:58,587 --> 00:59:00,301
I- I'm not done yet!

908
00:59:00,336 --> 00:59:02,293
Come back.
I'm not finished.

909
00:59:02,328 --> 00:59:04,250
I have some more
to tell you.

910
00:59:07,076 --> 00:59:09,679
You'll find a family
who can give you a real home,

911
00:59:09,714 --> 00:59:12,659
with loving kids
and a warm fireplace.

912
00:59:13,349 --> 00:59:15,385
I never liked you, anyway.

913
00:59:15,420 --> 00:59:17,262
Now get out of here!

914
00:59:18,388 --> 00:59:21,164
Okay! Okay!
You win. You can go with me.

915
00:59:25,495 --> 00:59:26,594
So, Mom,

916
00:59:26,629 --> 00:59:29,006
with my faithful dog
leading the way,

917
00:59:29,499 --> 00:59:31,740
I'm out to win
the hand of Marie.

918
00:59:32,335 --> 00:59:35,077
You'd love her, Ma.
She looks just like you.

919
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,346
Except she's white and blond.

920
00:59:38,107 --> 00:59:41,711
So, to win her back, I vowed
to make something of myself.

921
00:59:41,746 --> 00:59:44,614
I settled in Los Angeles
and took the money I saved

922
00:59:44,649 --> 00:59:46,550
and rented my
first apartment.

923
00:59:46,585 --> 00:59:48,451
"I haven't heard from Marie.

924
00:59:49,719 --> 00:59:50,985
"Things couldn't be worse.

925
00:59:51,020 --> 00:59:53,556
I can only send you
49 cents this week... "

926
00:59:53,591 --> 00:59:55,125
Oh, bless his heart.

927
00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:56,624
That's a good boy.

928
00:59:56,659 --> 00:59:58,763
"... as I've lost all my jobs.

929
00:59:59,729 --> 01:00:01,195
"I've been
eating well, though.

930
01:00:01,230 --> 01:00:04,334
"The hospital gives out free
meals of orange juice and cookies.

931
01:00:04,369 --> 01:00:06,814
"And all I have to do
is give them a pint of blood.

932
01:00:07,537 --> 01:00:10,707
I ate there all week.
Three times a day. "

933
01:00:10,742 --> 01:00:12,109
A pint of blood?

934
01:00:12,144 --> 01:00:13,441
"I decided to quit

935
01:00:13,476 --> 01:00:16,946
"when I cut myself shaving
and nothing came out but air.

936
01:00:18,181 --> 01:00:22,424
"I have to go now as someone is
staring at me through binoculars.

937
01:00:22,852 --> 01:00:24,661
Your loving son, Navin. "

938
01:00:28,057 --> 01:00:29,627
It's him.

939
01:00:36,866 --> 01:00:37,935
Him?

940
01:00:42,839 --> 01:00:44,477
What's him doing here?

941
01:00:45,041 --> 01:00:46,679
Shithead! Shithead!

942
01:00:47,844 --> 01:00:50,113
Attack! Attack! Attack!

943
01:00:51,247 --> 01:00:52,521
Not me!

944
01:00:54,484 --> 01:00:55,894
Get off, Shithead!

945
01:01:00,023 --> 01:01:01,797
You son of a bitch.

946
01:01:55,078 --> 01:01:56,989
You're gonna have
to sign for this.

947
01:01:59,949 --> 01:02:01,985
I have to sign
before you shoot me?

948
01:02:02,518 --> 01:02:04,258
I'm not gonna shoot you.

949
01:02:05,621 --> 01:02:06,721
Why not?

950
01:02:06,756 --> 01:02:08,132
That was the old me.

951
01:02:08,424 --> 01:02:10,631
I was a little mixed-up
at that time.

952
01:02:10,993 --> 01:02:14,235
Had a bad marriage
and I just gave up smoking.

953
01:02:14,897 --> 01:02:16,501
I'm okay now.

954
01:02:17,700 --> 01:02:19,645
I'm a private detective.

955
01:02:26,909 --> 01:02:28,042
So long.

956
01:02:28,077 --> 01:02:29,453
Thank you.

957
01:02:37,453 --> 01:02:39,296
"Dear Mr. Johnson.

958
01:02:40,590 --> 01:02:42,865
"Please call on me in Suite

959
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:48,039
"2655 at
the Century Plaza Tower

960
01:02:48,331 --> 01:02:49,502
"in Los Angeles.

961
01:02:50,867 --> 01:02:53,472
"I have something
of great importance

962
01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:56,083
to impart to you. "

963
01:02:56,572 --> 01:02:58,949
Navin! Remember me?

964
01:03:00,309 --> 01:03:02,078
No, but don't feel bad.

965
01:03:02,113 --> 01:03:03,318
Fox.

966
01:03:04,413 --> 01:03:05,687
Stan Fox!

967
01:03:06,249 --> 01:03:08,353
Remember the gas station?

968
01:03:09,652 --> 01:03:12,962
Boy, you are one hard guy
to find!

969
01:03:15,892 --> 01:03:17,530
You don't remember me.

970
01:03:19,228 --> 01:03:21,435
The glasses handle! Look!

971
01:03:23,833 --> 01:03:24,936
Oh, yeah.

972
01:03:25,501 --> 01:03:26,970
My glasses handle.

973
01:03:27,005 --> 01:03:28,439
Use the Opti-Grab.

974
01:03:28,805 --> 01:03:30,037
Opti-Grab?

975
01:03:30,072 --> 01:03:31,674
Yeah, we call it Opti-Grab.

976
01:03:31,709 --> 01:03:32,940
Opti-Grab.

977
01:03:32,975 --> 01:03:34,385
"Opti," from the eye

978
01:03:34,744 --> 01:03:37,156
and "Grab,"
from where you grab it.

979
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:39,352
Opti-Grabbing it.

980
01:03:39,715 --> 01:03:41,854
Navin, my boy,
we're in business.

981
01:03:42,018 --> 01:03:44,225
Fifty-fifty.
Just like we said.

982
01:03:44,887 --> 01:03:47,731
Right in here,
I have your first check

983
01:03:48,457 --> 01:03:51,028
for 250 big ones.

984
01:03:51,961 --> 01:03:53,201
$250?

985
01:03:53,996 --> 01:03:56,874
That's just the beginning.
There's gonna be more. Lots more!

986
01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:59,033
Can I cash this?
Sure.

987
01:03:59,068 --> 01:04:02,138
You can do whatever you like. It's
your money. It's a cashier's check.

988
01:04:03,673 --> 01:04:05,083
I can use money.

989
01:04:05,608 --> 01:04:09,312
Yes, I have a cashier's check

990
01:04:09,347 --> 01:04:10,847
and I'd like to cash it.

991
01:04:10,882 --> 01:04:12,121
How much is it for?

992
01:04:12,682 --> 01:04:16,595
250 big ones.

993
01:04:21,424 --> 01:04:24,700
250 dollarinies.

994
01:04:27,129 --> 01:04:31,202
That's 250 doughnuts.

995
01:04:33,502 --> 01:04:35,003
You wanna cash this?

996
01:04:35,371 --> 01:04:38,224
Well, I could take
50 of the doughnuts

997
01:04:38,259 --> 01:04:41,077
and deposit
the other 200 beauties.

998
01:04:41,112 --> 01:04:42,812
Have a seat, Mr.,

999
01:04:42,847 --> 01:04:43,847
Johnson.

1000
01:04:46,148 --> 01:04:48,517
I will need two pieces
of identification.

1001
01:04:48,552 --> 01:04:51,054
Ah, yes. I have my

1002
01:04:51,387 --> 01:04:53,696
temporary driver's license.

1003
01:04:54,824 --> 01:04:58,703
And my Astronaut
Application form.

1004
01:05:00,062 --> 01:05:03,566
I didn't pass that, though. I failed
everything but the "Date of Birth. "

1005
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:05,376
I didn't get the job.

1006
01:05:06,002 --> 01:05:07,335
Everything's in order.

1007
01:05:07,370 --> 01:05:10,506
If you'll, uh, just
endorse this, right there.

1008
01:05:10,541 --> 01:05:11,725
I need a pen.

1009
01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:12,874
Pen. Okay.

1010
01:05:12,909 --> 01:05:14,675
Right here. Thank you.

1011
01:05:14,710 --> 01:05:18,214
And, uh, fill out this, uh,
deposit slip right there.

1012
01:05:18,249 --> 01:05:19,488
All right.

1013
01:05:20,116 --> 01:05:23,927
The endorsing and filling out
of the deposit slip.

1014
01:05:24,553 --> 01:05:28,262
Two hundred and fifty...

1015
01:05:28,958 --> 01:05:30,562
thousand...

1016
01:05:42,605 --> 01:05:45,210
"Dear Harry. Guess what?

1017
01:05:45,741 --> 01:05:47,876
"I'm rich beyond
my wildest dreams.

1018
01:05:47,911 --> 01:05:49,929
"But I haven't
forgotten our deal.

1019
01:05:49,964 --> 01:05:51,913
"Here's that postcard
I promised you.

1020
01:05:51,948 --> 01:05:54,428
"I'll bet you thought
you'd never get it, huh?

1021
01:05:54,850 --> 01:05:56,795
Your friend forever, Navin. "

1022
01:05:57,219 --> 01:05:58,857
How do you like that?

1023
01:05:59,155 --> 01:06:02,158
He promised me a postcard
and he sent me a postcard.

1024
01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:04,566
The kid has integrity.

1025
01:06:22,912 --> 01:06:24,618
Shithead, come on.

1026
01:06:39,195 --> 01:06:41,538
Yello. Yes.

1027
01:06:42,565 --> 01:06:43,600
Who?

1028
01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:45,844
Mrs. Kimball?

1029
01:06:47,303 --> 01:06:49,009
You're Marie's mom!

1030
01:06:49,872 --> 01:06:51,646
Read about me in the paper?

1031
01:06:52,308 --> 01:06:54,844
I've been trying to contact
her. I don't know where she is.

1032
01:06:54,879 --> 01:06:56,482
I'd give anything to find out.

1033
01:06:58,047 --> 01:06:59,617
That sounds a little high.

1034
01:07:00,282 --> 01:07:01,886
How about $75?

1035
01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:04,222
Okay.

1036
01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:05,726
Okay. What is it?

1037
01:07:06,288 --> 01:07:08,923
The May Company
in Los Angeles.

1038
01:07:08,958 --> 01:07:10,960
Shithead!
I know where she is!

1039
01:07:10,995 --> 01:07:12,200
I know where she is!

1040
01:07:12,328 --> 01:07:14,296
Doesn't that feel good?

1041
01:07:17,833 --> 01:07:20,245
There. Now, we are complete.

1042
01:07:22,605 --> 01:07:25,224
Putting on Mask-O Derm
just took a few short minutes

1043
01:07:25,259 --> 01:07:27,843
and when we peel it off,
he will look 20 years younger.

1044
01:07:27,878 --> 01:07:29,151
Allevei.

1045
01:07:29,278 --> 01:07:30,586
Yes, exactly.

1046
01:07:31,213 --> 01:07:32,613
Now we'll let this dry.

1047
01:07:32,648 --> 01:07:34,683
In the meantime,
we can go pick out

1048
01:07:34,718 --> 01:07:36,753
an eye shadow
and lip tint for him.

1049
01:07:36,788 --> 01:07:38,939
Now everyone just
follow me this way

1050
01:07:38,974 --> 01:07:41,090
because this is
a very interesting line.

1051
01:07:41,125 --> 01:07:42,809
I think you'll enjoy this.

1052
01:07:42,844 --> 01:07:44,458
With your husband's coloring,

1053
01:07:44,493 --> 01:07:47,294
a deep tone would
bring out his lips.

1054
01:07:47,329 --> 01:07:51,572
And this Nature Beige will
feature his eyes just wonderfully.

1055
01:07:51,801 --> 01:07:53,871
Let's try everything.

1056
01:07:56,539 --> 01:07:57,574
What?

1057
01:07:59,809 --> 01:08:01,630
Let's go unmask Irving.

1058
01:08:01,665 --> 01:08:03,451
Everyone, back this way.

1059
01:08:04,346 --> 01:08:07,516
We are now going
to peel off our Mask-O Derm.

1060
01:08:07,551 --> 01:08:09,689
Irving's skin will
be tighter, firmer,

1061
01:08:09,819 --> 01:08:12,054
and he'll look like
a different man.

1062
01:08:12,089 --> 01:08:13,430
You'll be amazed.

1063
01:08:14,457 --> 01:08:16,027
Get ready, Irving.

1064
01:08:30,873 --> 01:08:33,717
Jeez! This shit
really worked.

1065
01:08:37,279 --> 01:08:38,314
Navin.

1066
01:08:41,050 --> 01:08:42,585
Oh, my sweetheart.

1067
01:08:43,686 --> 01:08:47,022
What are you doing to my
husband, you Miss Blondie? Irving!

1068
01:08:47,057 --> 01:08:48,708
Irving, are you crazy?

1069
01:08:48,743 --> 01:08:50,324
"Dear Mom.

1070
01:08:50,359 --> 01:08:52,294
"The big news is,
Marie and I were married.

1071
01:08:52,329 --> 01:08:53,500
"We couldn't wait.

1072
01:08:53,796 --> 01:08:56,999
"Luckily, we found someone at
the Hollywood View Apartments,

1073
01:08:57,034 --> 01:08:59,001
"who could marry us
immediately.

1074
01:08:59,435 --> 01:09:01,537
"He was a certified priest.

1075
01:09:04,173 --> 01:09:06,846
"We were both glad
we had a religious wedding.

1076
01:09:07,343 --> 01:09:09,516
"Money hasn't changed
our lives that much.

1077
01:09:10,112 --> 01:09:11,997
"Our one little
extravagance is

1078
01:09:12,032 --> 01:09:13,883
a live-in butler
and housekeeper. "

1079
01:09:13,918 --> 01:09:15,117
Another check!

1080
01:09:16,218 --> 01:09:18,664
Just as I thought.
Look at that.

1081
01:09:18,888 --> 01:09:21,163
Nearly $750,000.

1082
01:09:21,457 --> 01:09:24,660
Sir, it would seem with this kind of
income, you could buy a larger house

1083
01:09:24,695 --> 01:09:26,332
with proper
servants' quarters.

1084
01:09:26,662 --> 01:09:29,031
"Mom, remember my dream
of owning

1085
01:09:29,066 --> 01:09:30,664
"a big house on a hill?

1086
01:09:30,699 --> 01:09:32,940
"How I used to
wish for a living room

1087
01:09:33,068 --> 01:09:35,343
"with a plaster lion
in it from Mexico?

1088
01:09:35,771 --> 01:09:39,241
"And how I always wanted
a large 24-seat dining table?

1089
01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:42,244
"In a dining room
with original oil paintings

1090
01:09:42,279 --> 01:09:44,815
"by Michelangelo
and Rembrandt?

1091
01:09:45,281 --> 01:09:48,217
"And remember how
I always wanted a rotating bed

1092
01:09:48,252 --> 01:09:50,718
"with pink chiffon
and zebra stripes?

1093
01:09:50,753 --> 01:09:53,320
"And remember how
I used to chitchat with Dad

1094
01:09:53,355 --> 01:09:57,030
"about always wanting
a bathtub shaped like a clam?

1095
01:09:57,259 --> 01:09:59,966
"And an office with orange
and white stripes?

1096
01:10:00,196 --> 01:10:01,729
"And remember
how much I wanted

1097
01:10:01,764 --> 01:10:04,676
"an all-red billiard room
with a giant stuffed camel?

1098
01:10:05,501 --> 01:10:08,811
"And how I wanted a disco
room with my own disco dancers?

1099
01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:11,344
"And a party room
with fancy friends?

1100
01:10:12,775 --> 01:10:14,375
"And remember
how much I wanted

1101
01:10:14,410 --> 01:10:16,577
"a big back yard
with Grecian statues

1102
01:10:16,612 --> 01:10:19,149
"S-shaped hedges
and three swimming pools?

1103
01:10:19,415 --> 01:10:21,087
"Well, I got that, too.

1104
01:10:24,053 --> 01:10:25,930
"Marie and I
are getting along swell.

1105
01:10:26,822 --> 01:10:30,269
"But I've got a lot to learn
about handling my money and banks.

1106
01:10:30,826 --> 01:10:32,236
"You have to be careful.

1107
01:10:34,363 --> 01:10:35,569
"Poor Hobart.

1108
01:10:36,265 --> 01:10:37,898
"His dear wife Hester
took some money

1109
01:10:37,933 --> 01:10:41,303
"out of her savings account and
had to pay a substantial penalty

1110
01:10:41,338 --> 01:10:42,838
"for early withdrawal.

1111
01:10:47,610 --> 01:10:50,215
Enclosed is this week's
check. Love, Navin. "

1112
01:10:51,614 --> 01:10:53,388
Sorry about
your wife, Hobart.

1113
01:10:53,849 --> 01:10:55,692
Federal regulations, sir.

1114
01:10:56,719 --> 01:10:57,890
Oh, dear me.

1115
01:10:58,287 --> 01:11:00,562
Your wife has given you

1116
01:11:00,990 --> 01:11:02,434
another gold chain.

1117
01:11:03,392 --> 01:11:04,734
I'd nearly forgotten.

1118
01:11:05,561 --> 01:11:09,164
I suppose, I'm still not quite
over Hester's death.

1119
01:11:09,199 --> 01:11:10,833
Well, these things take time.

1120
01:11:10,868 --> 01:11:11,932
Yes.

1121
01:11:11,967 --> 01:11:14,913
So I'm told.
Oh, here's your drink, sir.

1122
01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:17,208
Like the one you
saw in the magazine.

1123
01:11:17,473 --> 01:11:20,317
You got the bamboo umbrella
and everything.

1124
01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:26,289
See that? Be somebody.

1125
01:11:28,684 --> 01:11:31,790
Very good, sir.
Very good.

1126
01:11:34,757 --> 01:11:37,396
There are some charity people
here to see you, sir.

1127
01:11:37,660 --> 01:11:40,003
No! Send them away!

1128
01:11:40,396 --> 01:11:43,032
There's a lot of people
more deserving than me.

1129
01:11:43,067 --> 01:11:45,637
Ah, but these people
want you to give.

1130
01:11:50,673 --> 01:11:51,708
Okay.

1131
01:11:51,974 --> 01:11:54,977
My name is Father Carlos
Las Vegas De Cordoba.

1132
01:11:56,145 --> 01:11:58,284
Father, you seem
like a religious man.

1133
01:11:59,114 --> 01:12:00,422
How can I help you?

1134
01:12:00,649 --> 01:12:02,890
By giving me three minutes
of your time

1135
01:12:03,085 --> 01:12:04,785
so that you can see some film

1136
01:12:04,820 --> 01:12:07,596
of a great ugliness that
is spreading in my country.

1137
01:12:08,590 --> 01:12:11,400
Oh, God.
I'll bet it's disgusting.

1138
01:12:12,628 --> 01:12:13,745
Hobart?

1139
01:12:13,780 --> 01:12:14,828
Yes, sir?

1140
01:12:14,863 --> 01:12:17,099
Are you over your grief
enough yet to dim the lights?

1141
01:12:17,134 --> 01:12:18,666
Of course, sir.

1142
01:12:18,701 --> 01:12:20,737
Well, one can't mourn forever.

1143
01:12:21,370 --> 01:12:24,077
You will not believe
what you are about to see.

1144
01:12:24,907 --> 01:12:27,512
That human beings
could have sunk so low

1145
01:12:27,676 --> 01:12:29,778
that they can take
pleasure to do this

1146
01:12:29,813 --> 01:12:31,679
to another
of God's creatures.

1147
01:12:31,714 --> 01:12:33,853
I hope you have
a strong stomach, senor.

1148
01:12:34,483 --> 01:12:35,893
Roll the ugliness.

1149
01:13:15,290 --> 01:13:16,490
Good Lord.

1150
01:13:16,525 --> 01:13:18,971
I've heard about
this cat juggling.

1151
01:13:37,713 --> 01:13:41,092
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Stop it!

1152
01:13:43,018 --> 01:13:44,053
Good.

1153
01:13:45,154 --> 01:13:49,295
Father, could there be a God
that would let this happen?

1154
01:13:50,726 --> 01:13:52,296
How much do you want?

1155
01:13:52,828 --> 01:13:56,173
If your initial investment
is $500,000,

1156
01:13:56,598 --> 01:13:58,771
and your apartments
are up in March,

1157
01:13:59,501 --> 01:14:01,653
you should have
"X" amount of dollars

1158
01:14:01,688 --> 01:14:03,771
rolling in
by the end of this year.

1159
01:14:03,806 --> 01:14:06,308
Ah! "X" amount.
That's very good, isn't it?

1160
01:14:06,343 --> 01:14:08,776
Not only that,
you can depreciate

1161
01:14:08,811 --> 01:14:10,711
the entire building
for the full amount.

1162
01:14:10,746 --> 01:14:13,351
Depreciate? Very good.
Hmm. I like that.

1163
01:14:14,216 --> 01:14:16,872
We found a way to get around
this Fair Housing crap.

1164
01:14:16,907 --> 01:14:19,529
Ah! Good. Getting around
the crap. That's good.

1165
01:14:20,289 --> 01:14:23,959
By keeping the rents high, we're going
to appeal to a select class of people.

1166
01:14:23,994 --> 01:14:25,961
Select class.
Very, very good.

1167
01:14:27,196 --> 01:14:29,029
We'll keep the eggplants out.

1168
01:14:29,064 --> 01:14:31,767
Ah, good.
We don't want any vegetables.

1169
01:14:31,802 --> 01:14:34,101
No, no.
The jungle bunnies.

1170
01:14:34,136 --> 01:14:36,240
Of course.
They'll eat the vegetables.

1171
01:14:37,139 --> 01:14:39,312
Boss?
Can I... can I talk to him?

1172
01:14:40,008 --> 01:14:42,078
We're gonna keep out
the niggers.

1173
01:14:42,911 --> 01:14:44,044
The what?

1174
01:14:44,079 --> 01:14:46,281
The niggers.
We'll keep 'em out.

1175
01:14:46,316 --> 01:14:47,347
Yeah.

1176
01:14:47,382 --> 01:14:51,330
Sir, you are talking
to a nigger!

1177
01:15:38,667 --> 01:15:40,976
Don't be so hard on yourself.

1178
01:15:41,103 --> 01:15:43,879
How could you know
that was Iron Balls McGinty?

1179
01:15:44,673 --> 01:15:46,575
Your escargots. Salad.

1180
01:15:48,343 --> 01:15:51,380
Would monsieur care for another
bottle of the Chateau Latour?

1181
01:15:51,415 --> 01:15:54,850
Ah, yes, but no more 1966.
Let's splurge.

1182
01:15:55,017 --> 01:15:56,601
Bring us some fresh wine.

1183
01:15:56,636 --> 01:15:58,151
The freshest you've got.

1184
01:15:58,186 --> 01:16:00,791
This year's.
No more of this old stuff.

1185
01:16:01,957 --> 01:16:03,265
Oui, monsieur.

1186
01:16:03,926 --> 01:16:06,963
He doesn't realize he's dealing
with sophisticated people here.

1187
01:16:08,130 --> 01:16:10,232
Marie, now just stay calm.
Stay calm.

1188
01:16:10,267 --> 01:16:11,498
Just don't look down.

1189
01:16:11,533 --> 01:16:13,233
Don't look down!
Look up!

1190
01:16:13,268 --> 01:16:16,112
Just keep your eyes up and keep
them that way, okay? Waiter!

1191
01:16:19,107 --> 01:16:21,743
There are snails
on her plate.

1192
01:16:24,179 --> 01:16:26,680
Now get them out of here
before she sees them.

1193
01:16:26,715 --> 01:16:29,525
Look away! Just look away!
And keep your eyes that way!

1194
01:16:30,018 --> 01:16:32,854
You'd think at a fancy restaurant
like this, at these prices,

1195
01:16:32,889 --> 01:16:35,698
you would be able to keep
the snails off the food!

1196
01:16:36,558 --> 01:16:39,027
There're so many snails in there,
you can't even see the food!

1197
01:16:39,062 --> 01:16:40,394
Now take them away
and bring me

1198
01:16:40,429 --> 01:16:43,332
those melted cheese sandwich
appetizers you talked me out of!

1199
01:16:43,367 --> 01:16:44,776
Oui, monsieur.

1200
01:16:45,867 --> 01:16:47,401
Do you believe this?

1201
01:16:47,436 --> 01:16:49,838
First, they didn't have the
bamboo umbrellas for the wine

1202
01:16:49,873 --> 01:16:51,438
and now snails
on the food.

1203
01:16:51,473 --> 01:16:54,351
Two boobs!
That's what he takes us for!

1204
01:17:06,054 --> 01:17:07,123
Hi, honey.

1205
01:17:07,255 --> 01:17:08,556
Hi, doll face.

1206
01:17:08,591 --> 01:17:09,823
Everything okay?

1207
01:17:09,858 --> 01:17:13,669
Remember how you told me
to take unnecessary lessons?

1208
01:17:14,062 --> 01:17:15,930
Well, I just took
a lesson.

1209
01:17:15,965 --> 01:17:17,799
And a very
good student, too.

1210
01:17:17,834 --> 01:17:19,586
Adios, senora.
Adios.

1211
01:17:19,621 --> 01:17:21,339
You took bullfighting?

1212
01:17:21,570 --> 01:17:23,413
No. Knife-throwing.

1213
01:17:25,007 --> 01:17:26,486
Knife-throwing is great!

1214
01:17:26,608 --> 01:17:28,087
I can almost do it.

1215
01:17:28,543 --> 01:17:30,012
Well, let me
see your stuff.

1216
01:17:30,047 --> 01:17:31,547
Okay.

1217
01:17:32,714 --> 01:17:34,716
This is very good
for a beginner.

1218
01:17:37,386 --> 01:17:39,729
This is exciting.
I love this!

1219
01:17:40,455 --> 01:17:41,592
Come on.

1220
01:17:43,258 --> 01:17:45,559
Turn sideways.
Okay.

1221
01:17:45,594 --> 01:17:48,074
And put a balloon
in your mouth.

1222
01:17:48,497 --> 01:17:50,169
Do you have a balloon?

1223
01:17:50,298 --> 01:17:51,777
Uh, no.

1224
01:17:52,267 --> 01:17:53,711
Oh, wait. Yes.

1225
01:17:54,903 --> 01:17:56,109
Okay.

1226
01:17:57,239 --> 01:17:58,674
Is it in your mouth?

1227
01:17:59,775 --> 01:18:02,346
Throw 'em good
and hard so they'll stick.

1228
01:18:03,045 --> 01:18:04,319
Okay.

1229
01:18:07,582 --> 01:18:08,651
One,

1230
01:18:09,551 --> 01:18:10,654
two,

1231
01:18:12,120 --> 01:18:13,189
three!

1232
01:18:14,222 --> 01:18:15,325
Four, five, six!

1233
01:18:20,395 --> 01:18:21,669
I missed.

1234
01:18:22,164 --> 01:18:23,665
Honey, you did good.

1235
01:18:24,433 --> 01:18:26,674
I can't do anything right.

1236
01:18:27,569 --> 01:18:30,276
Honey, you worry too much.

1237
01:18:31,573 --> 01:18:35,179
Come on. Let's flop this over
and look at it another way.

1238
01:18:35,410 --> 01:18:38,513
Why, do you realize
in the past two short months,

1239
01:18:38,548 --> 01:18:41,014
we have acquired
the sophistication

1240
01:18:41,049 --> 01:18:43,927
it takes some people
a lifetime to acquire?

1241
01:18:44,152 --> 01:18:45,528
Come on!

1242
01:18:46,121 --> 01:18:47,361
Let's toast!

1243
01:19:45,313 --> 01:19:49,056
Everybody, Navin's on TV.
Marie, it's Navin!

1244
01:19:49,317 --> 01:19:52,419
Oh, honey, here's that
interview you did on TV.

1245
01:19:52,454 --> 01:19:55,373
Shut off the music! Shut
it off! Shut off the music!

1246
01:19:55,408 --> 01:19:58,323
Everyone, we're going
to watch Navin on the TV.

1247
01:19:58,358 --> 01:20:01,239
Now, sit down. Just sit
on the floor. Sit around.

1248
01:20:01,730 --> 01:20:03,764
American Time Newsmagazine,

1249
01:20:03,799 --> 01:20:05,903
turns its probing eye
on Navin Johnson,

1250
01:20:06,034 --> 01:20:07,808
inventor of the Opti-Grab.

1251
01:20:08,103 --> 01:20:10,490
That little glasses handle
that sold

1252
01:20:10,525 --> 01:20:12,877
10 million units in
a few short months.

1253
01:20:13,475 --> 01:20:16,785
Mr. Johnson, you've become
a millionaire overnight.

1254
01:20:17,045 --> 01:20:18,319
Who are you?

1255
01:20:19,548 --> 01:20:21,254
Who is Navin Johnson?

1256
01:20:22,617 --> 01:20:25,003
Navin is
a complex personality,

1257
01:20:25,038 --> 01:20:27,354
as are most of
the small breed

1258
01:20:27,389 --> 01:20:29,835
of modern-day
Renaissance millionaires.

1259
01:20:30,125 --> 01:20:33,795
We had planned to show you
the entire Johnson interview.

1260
01:20:33,830 --> 01:20:35,764
However, when we
returned to our studio,

1261
01:20:35,799 --> 01:20:37,631
our news department
informed us

1262
01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:40,840
of a sensational development
in the Johnson story.

1263
01:20:41,269 --> 01:20:44,038
It seems that
an irate group of citizens

1264
01:20:44,073 --> 01:20:46,773
led by the celebrity
Mr. Carl Reiner,

1265
01:20:46,808 --> 01:20:49,945
has filed a class-action suit
against Mr. Johnson

1266
01:20:49,980 --> 01:20:51,378
and his Opti-Grab.

1267
01:20:51,413 --> 01:20:54,447
Here's what Mr. Reiner had
to say at a press conference.

1268
01:20:54,482 --> 01:20:57,719
When Opti-Grab came out, I thought
it was the greatest thing ever.

1269
01:20:57,754 --> 01:20:58,959
And I bought a pair.

1270
01:20:59,421 --> 01:21:01,093
And this is the result.

1271
01:21:03,058 --> 01:21:04,925
This little handle is
like a magnet.

1272
01:21:04,960 --> 01:21:09,067
Your eyes are constantly drawn
to it and you end up cockeyed.

1273
01:21:09,764 --> 01:21:12,904
Now, as a director,
I am constantly using my eyes.

1274
01:21:13,101 --> 01:21:15,103
And this Opti-Grab
device has caused

1275
01:21:15,138 --> 01:21:17,014
irreparable harm to my career.

1276
01:21:17,505 --> 01:21:19,814
Let me show you
a clip from my latest film,

1277
01:21:19,941 --> 01:21:22,216
where my faulty
depth perception kept me

1278
01:21:22,344 --> 01:21:24,619
from yelling "cut"
at the proper time.

1279
01:21:27,749 --> 01:21:28,920
Cut!

1280
01:21:38,126 --> 01:21:40,162
If I had yelled "cut" on time,

1281
01:21:40,295 --> 01:21:42,741
those actors
would be alive today.

1282
01:21:43,164 --> 01:21:47,442
That's why I'm spearheading the
$10-million class-action suit

1283
01:21:47,702 --> 01:21:51,377
against Mr. Johnson and his
irresponsible selling of a product,

1284
01:21:51,606 --> 01:21:54,177
he didn't even test
on prisoners.

1285
01:21:54,943 --> 01:21:55,976
Thank you.

1286
01:21:56,011 --> 01:21:58,380
The party's over.
Nouveau riche.

1287
01:21:58,415 --> 01:22:00,247
You know what I mean?

1288
01:22:00,282 --> 01:22:02,918
What is this? Hey, wait a
second. Where are you going?

1289
01:22:02,953 --> 01:22:04,517
This guy's something else.

1290
01:22:04,552 --> 01:22:06,759
I'm gonna get in touch
with that Reiner guy.

1291
01:22:07,188 --> 01:22:10,056
I got some... I got some
change upstairs.

1292
01:22:10,091 --> 01:22:13,197
We'll get some, uh, potato chips
and there's some beer up there.

1293
01:22:13,395 --> 01:22:15,670
We'll make it
a less formal thing.

1294
01:22:17,198 --> 01:22:19,041
Let's find another party.

1295
01:22:22,237 --> 01:22:25,115
Honey!
Why the gloom?

1296
01:22:25,507 --> 01:22:27,509
It's not the end
of the rainbow.

1297
01:22:29,210 --> 01:22:31,544
I'm Navin Johnson,
inventor!

1298
01:22:31,579 --> 01:22:34,525
This is no big deal.
It's a parking ticket to me.

1299
01:22:34,983 --> 01:22:37,827
Only instead of $5,
it's $10,000,000.

1300
01:22:39,154 --> 01:22:41,861
I don't care about
losing all the money.

1301
01:22:42,891 --> 01:22:45,234
It's losing all the stuff.

1302
01:22:46,461 --> 01:22:48,565
We're not gonna
lose the stuff.

1303
01:22:50,031 --> 01:22:51,698
This is America!

1304
01:22:51,733 --> 01:22:55,703
We're gonna receive a fair
trial from an impartial jury.

1305
01:22:57,339 --> 01:23:00,513
Your Honor, we, the jury,
find for the plaintiff.

1306
01:23:06,181 --> 01:23:08,718
I award, to Mr. Reiner

1307
01:23:09,384 --> 01:23:11,819
and the other nine million

1308
01:23:11,854 --> 01:23:14,340
nine hundred and 87 thousand

1309
01:23:14,375 --> 01:23:16,826
six hundred
and 52 plaintiffs,

1310
01:23:17,525 --> 01:23:19,402
the full amount of the suit.

1311
01:23:21,396 --> 01:23:23,375
Court is adjourned!

1312
01:23:29,704 --> 01:23:30,910
Navin.

1313
01:23:31,039 --> 01:23:32,882
Honey, can't you see
I'm drinking?

1314
01:23:39,848 --> 01:23:41,918
Pay to the order of

1315
01:23:43,084 --> 01:23:45,188
Mrs. Wilbur Stark

1316
01:23:46,788 --> 01:23:49,200
$1.09!

1317
01:24:05,840 --> 01:24:07,546
Pay to the order of

1318
01:24:08,810 --> 01:24:11,654
Iron Balls McGinty

1319
01:24:13,248 --> 01:24:15,625
$1.09!

1320
01:24:17,685 --> 01:24:18,918
Why are you crying?

1321
01:24:18,953 --> 01:24:21,138
And why are you
wearing that old dress?

1322
01:24:21,173 --> 01:24:23,283
Because I just heard
a song on the radio

1323
01:24:23,318 --> 01:24:25,394
that reminded me
of the way we were.

1324
01:24:25,727 --> 01:24:27,115
What was it?

1325
01:24:27,150 --> 01:24:28,504
The Way We Were.

1326
01:24:29,097 --> 01:24:31,474
Look at us.
We've hit bottom.

1327
01:24:31,766 --> 01:24:35,770
No! Maybe you've hit bottom,
but I haven't hit bottom yet!

1328
01:24:36,337 --> 01:24:38,282
I've got a ways to go!

1329
01:24:39,140 --> 01:24:40,744
And I'm gonna bounce back!

1330
01:24:40,875 --> 01:24:42,285
And when I do,

1331
01:24:42,577 --> 01:24:45,922
I'm gonna buy you
a diamond so big

1332
01:24:46,181 --> 01:24:48,251
it's gonna make you puke.

1333
01:24:49,184 --> 01:24:51,105
I don't wanna puke!

1334
01:24:51,140 --> 01:24:53,026
I don't want wealth!

1335
01:24:53,588 --> 01:24:56,659
I just want you
like you used to be.

1336
01:24:56,991 --> 01:24:58,993
What happened to that man?

1337
01:24:59,028 --> 01:25:00,437
Me?

1338
01:25:00,962 --> 01:25:03,271
What happened to
the girl I believed in?

1339
01:25:04,199 --> 01:25:06,008
The girl I fell in love with.

1340
01:25:06,134 --> 01:25:08,170
The girl that believed in me.

1341
01:25:09,904 --> 01:25:12,273
There's plenty of places
I can go,

1342
01:25:12,308 --> 01:25:14,242
where people
believe in me.

1343
01:25:14,277 --> 01:25:15,542
Well, go!

1344
01:25:15,577 --> 01:25:17,610
The sooner
you're out of my life,

1345
01:25:17,645 --> 01:25:19,848
the sooner I can go back
to being the girl

1346
01:25:19,883 --> 01:25:21,714
in this little flowered dress

1347
01:25:21,749 --> 01:25:25,788
that you sang
the thermos song to.

1348
01:25:26,187 --> 01:25:27,996
Well, I'm gonna go, then!

1349
01:25:29,023 --> 01:25:32,026
And I don't need any of this!
I don't need this stuff!

1350
01:25:32,794 --> 01:25:35,297
And I don't need you!
I don't need anything!

1351
01:25:37,065 --> 01:25:38,202
Except this.

1352
01:25:39,200 --> 01:25:42,010
This ashtray.
The only thing I need is this!

1353
01:25:43,872 --> 01:25:47,182
I don't need this or this.
Just this ashtray!

1354
01:25:48,877 --> 01:25:50,287
And this paddle game.

1355
01:25:51,746 --> 01:25:54,453
The ashtray and the paddle
game. And that's all I need!

1356
01:25:55,250 --> 01:25:58,384
And this remote control.

1357
01:25:58,419 --> 01:26:00,955
The ashtray, the paddle game,
and the remote control.

1358
01:26:00,990 --> 01:26:02,593
And that's all I need!

1359
01:26:04,959 --> 01:26:06,438
And these matches.

1360
01:26:07,695 --> 01:26:10,063
The ashtray and these matches

1361
01:26:10,098 --> 01:26:12,771
and the remote control
and the paddle ball.

1362
01:26:14,802 --> 01:26:15,939
This lamp.

1363
01:26:18,306 --> 01:26:19,546
The ashtray,

1364
01:26:21,643 --> 01:26:24,453
this paddle game
and the remote control,

1365
01:26:25,813 --> 01:26:27,986
and the lamp.
And that's all I need.

1366
01:26:30,985 --> 01:26:33,089
And that's all I need, too.

1367
01:26:33,855 --> 01:26:36,358
I don't need one other thing!

1368
01:26:36,591 --> 01:26:38,570
Not one...
I need this.

1369
01:26:40,695 --> 01:26:42,731
The paddle game and the chair,

1370
01:26:43,298 --> 01:26:47,405
and the remote control
and the matches, for sure!

1371
01:26:49,237 --> 01:26:51,512
Wh-what are you looking at?

1372
01:26:52,240 --> 01:26:55,243
What do you think I am? Some
kind of a jerk or something?

1373
01:27:02,450 --> 01:27:03,519
And this.

1374
01:27:05,587 --> 01:27:07,088
That's all I need.

1375
01:27:08,223 --> 01:27:09,565
The ashtray,

1376
01:27:10,158 --> 01:27:12,763
the remote control
and this paddle game,

1377
01:27:13,228 --> 01:27:16,231
and this magazine
and the chair.

1378
01:27:22,370 --> 01:27:24,706
And I don't need
one other thing.

1379
01:27:24,741 --> 01:27:26,608
Except my dog.

1380
01:27:29,410 --> 01:27:30,980
I don't need my dog.

1381
01:28:39,547 --> 01:28:41,890
So, that's it.

1382
01:28:42,917 --> 01:28:44,327
It's an old story.

1383
01:28:44,986 --> 01:28:47,022
One you've probably
heard before.

1384
01:28:49,424 --> 01:28:51,904
But I never thought
it would happen to me.

1385
01:29:05,807 --> 01:29:08,753
Hey! Any of you bums ever
heard of Navin R. Johnson?

1386
01:29:11,479 --> 01:29:12,923
I've heard of him.

1387
01:29:13,047 --> 01:29:14,491
Born in Mississippi?

1388
01:29:16,851 --> 01:29:18,762
Inventor of the Opti-Grab?

1389
01:29:19,320 --> 01:29:21,356
I was just
telling these guys.

1390
01:29:23,458 --> 01:29:24,459
Son!

1391
01:29:26,094 --> 01:29:27,265
Daddy!

1392
01:29:29,030 --> 01:29:30,164
Navin.

1393
01:29:30,199 --> 01:29:31,300
Mom!

1394
01:29:31,335 --> 01:29:32,402
My baby!

1395
01:29:34,035 --> 01:29:35,268
Navin.
Elvira!

1396
01:29:35,303 --> 01:29:36,975
I knew we'd find you.

1397
01:29:38,272 --> 01:29:39,682
Taj!
Don't kiss me.

1398
01:29:46,047 --> 01:29:48,049
I called them
the night you left.

1399
01:29:48,449 --> 01:29:50,084
How did you find me?

1400
01:29:50,119 --> 01:29:51,284
I don't know.

1401
01:29:51,319 --> 01:29:52,952
This is the first
place we looked.

1402
01:29:52,987 --> 01:29:55,289
We're takin' you home
and you're gonna live with us.

1403
01:29:55,324 --> 01:29:57,928
Turns out,
Dad's a financial genius.

1404
01:29:58,359 --> 01:30:00,995
All I did was
take the money you sent home

1405
01:30:01,030 --> 01:30:03,632
and embarked on
a periodic investment,

1406
01:30:03,765 --> 01:30:05,698
in a no-load mutual fund.

1407
01:30:05,733 --> 01:30:09,442
He leveraged his ass deep into
soy beans and cocoa futures.

1408
01:30:09,704 --> 01:30:10,773
Right on!

1409
01:30:12,240 --> 01:30:14,413
I picked out
this thermos for you.

1410
01:30:19,280 --> 01:30:21,020
I'd kiss you,
but I'm so dirty.

1411
01:30:21,149 --> 01:30:22,923
Dirt doesn't bother me.

1412
01:30:24,352 --> 01:30:25,787
But the smell does.

1413
01:30:25,822 --> 01:30:27,129
Oh, Navin.

1414
01:30:29,490 --> 01:30:33,394
Son, you'd better get
in the back with the dog

1415
01:30:33,429 --> 01:30:36,136
until we can get you
hosed down.

1416
01:30:44,839 --> 01:30:46,249
I love you, Navin.

1417
01:30:46,374 --> 01:30:47,784
I love you, too.

1418
01:30:50,011 --> 01:30:51,581
Somebody open a window!

1419
01:30:52,013 --> 01:30:53,992
Open all the windows.

1420
01:30:56,551 --> 01:30:58,587
I was so glad
to be going home.

1421
01:30:58,853 --> 01:31:01,293
I remembered the days
when I sang and danced

1422
01:31:01,328 --> 01:31:03,734
with my family on the porch
of the old house.

1423
01:31:04,025 --> 01:31:07,973
But things change, and with
all the additions to the family,

1424
01:31:08,162 --> 01:31:11,199
we had to tear down the old
house, even though we loved it.

1425
01:31:11,532 --> 01:31:13,117
But we built us a bigger one.

1426
01:31:13,152 --> 01:31:14,667
Pick a bale a day

1427
01:31:14,702 --> 01:31:17,004
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale of cotton

1428
01:31:17,039 --> 01:31:19,272
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale a day

1429
01:31:19,307 --> 01:31:21,592
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale of cotton

1430
01:31:21,627 --> 01:31:24,070
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale a day

1431
01:31:24,105 --> 01:31:26,514
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale of cotton

1432
01:31:26,549 --> 01:31:28,815
Jump down, turn around
Pick a bale a day

1433
01:31:28,850 --> 01:31:31,085
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale of cotton

1434
01:31:31,120 --> 01:31:33,553
Gonna jump down turn around
Pick a bale a day

1435
01:31:33,588 --> 01:31:36,040
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale of cotton

1436
01:31:36,075 --> 01:31:38,458
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale a day

1437
01:31:38,493 --> 01:31:40,761
Well, me and my buddy's
gonna Pick a bale of cotton

1438
01:31:40,796 --> 01:31:43,064
Go around down, turn around
Pick a bale a day

1439
01:31:43,099 --> 01:31:45,550
Me and my buddy's gonna
Pick a bale of cotton

1440
01:31:45,585 --> 01:31:48,002
Me and my buddy's gonna
Pick a bale a day

1441
01:31:48,037 --> 01:31:50,438
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale of cotton

1442
01:31:50,473 --> 01:31:52,824
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale a day

1443
01:31:52,859 --> 01:31:55,172
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale of cotton

1444
01:31:55,207 --> 01:31:57,485
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale a day

1445
01:31:57,612 --> 01:32:00,064
Get on your knees
Pick a bale of cotton

1446
01:32:00,099 --> 01:32:02,442
Get on your knees
Pick a bale a day

1447
01:32:02,477 --> 01:32:04,785
All around
Pick a bale of cotton

1448
01:32:04,820 --> 01:32:06,924
All around
Pick a bale day

1449
01:32:07,088 --> 01:32:09,357
Gonna pack that hay
Pick a bale of cotton

1450
01:32:09,392 --> 01:32:11,591
Gonna pack that hay
Pick a bale a day

1451
01:32:11,626 --> 01:32:14,228
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale of cotton

1452
01:32:14,263 --> 01:32:16,648
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale a day

1453
01:32:16,683 --> 01:32:18,959
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale of cotton

1454
01:32:18,994 --> 01:32:21,235
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale a day

1455
01:32:21,270 --> 01:32:23,339
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale of cotton

1456
01:32:23,638 --> 01:32:26,123
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale a day

1457
01:32:26,158 --> 01:32:28,504
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale of cotton

1458
01:32:28,539 --> 01:32:30,850
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale a day

1459
01:32:31,812 --> 01:32:34,081
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale of cotton

1460
01:32:34,116 --> 01:32:36,451
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale a day

1461
01:32:36,486 --> 01:32:38,687
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale of cotton

1462
01:32:38,722 --> 01:32:40,853
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale a day

1463
01:32:40,888 --> 01:32:43,374
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale of cotton

1464
01:32:43,409 --> 01:32:45,902
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale a day

1465
01:32:45,937 --> 01:32:48,167
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale of cotton

1466
01:32:48,202 --> 01:32:50,398
Gonna jump down, turn around
Pick a bale a day

1467
01:32:50,731 --> 01:32:52,950
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale of cotton

1468
01:32:52,985 --> 01:32:55,134
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale a day

1469
01:32:55,169 --> 01:32:57,655
Me and my wife gonna
Pick a bale of cotton

1470
01:32:57,690 --> 01:33:00,083
Me and my wife gonna
Pick a bale a day

1471
01:33:00,118 --> 01:33:02,582
Me and my wife gonna
Pick a bale of cotton

1472
01:33:02,617 --> 01:33:05,046
Me and my wife gonna
Pick a bale a day

1473
01:33:05,081 --> 01:33:07,365
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale of cotton

1474
01:33:07,400 --> 01:33:09,650
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale a day

1475
01:33:09,685 --> 01:33:14,361
Whoa Lordie

1476
01:33:14,989 --> 01:33:17,230
Pick a bale of cotton

1477
01:33:17,792 --> 01:33:23,763
Pick a bale of cotton

1478
01:33:23,798 --> 01:33:26,267
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale of cotton

1479
01:33:26,302 --> 01:33:28,701
Whoa Lordie
Pick a bale a day

1480
01:33:28,736 --> 01:33:31,138
Me and my wife gonna
Pick a bale of cotton

1481
01:33:31,173 --> 01:33:33,408
Me and my wife gonna
Pick a bale a day

1482
01:33:33,443 --> 01:33:38,055
Me and my wife gonna
Pick a bale of cotton