1
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CARRIE: Year after year, 20-something
women come to New York City...
2
00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:46,245
... in search of the two L 's:
3
00:00:46,415 --> 00:00:49,603
Labels and love.
4
00:00:52,471 --> 00:00:54,626
- Yeah.
- He's the best.
5
00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:57,818
WOMAN:
Hot dress!
6
00:00:58,227 --> 00:01:01,312
Twenty years ago, I was one of them.
7
00:01:12,403 --> 00:01:17,486
Having gotten the knack for labels early,
I concentrated on my search for love.
8
00:01:17,659 --> 00:01:21,812
Turns out, a knockoff is not as easy to spot
when it comes to love.
9
00:01:21,985 --> 00:01:23,880
What? You're married?
10
00:01:24,049 --> 00:01:26,306
You fucking asshole!
Motherfucker, you're married?
11
00:01:26,478 --> 00:01:28,803
- Until it is.
- I fucking hate you.
12
00:01:28,973 --> 00:01:31,400
That is why you need help to spot them.
13
00:01:31,935 --> 00:01:33,557
Lots of help.
14
00:01:33,732 --> 00:01:36,749
Help also known as Charlotte York...
15
00:01:38,323 --> 00:01:40,218
... Miranda Hobbes...
16
00:01:41,019 --> 00:01:42,811
... and Samantha Jones.
17
00:01:43,115 --> 00:01:46,506
- Oh, my God, look at his.
MAN: Hey.
18
00:01:46,809 --> 00:01:48,033
Hi, how are you?
19
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:52,889
Oh, well.
20
00:01:54,827 --> 00:01:58,775
My name is Carrie Bradshaw,
and I'm a writer.
21
00:01:58,954 --> 00:02:02,743
Year after year,
my single girlfriends were my salvation.
22
00:02:02,913 --> 00:02:05,534
And as it turns out, my meal ticket.
23
00:02:07,772 --> 00:02:10,755
I've been dating since I was 15.
I'm exhausted. Where is he?
24
00:02:10,933 --> 00:02:13,326
Charlotte was looking
for the perfect love.
25
00:02:13,495 --> 00:02:16,546
- Trey can't get it up.
- Well, almost perfect.
26
00:02:16,722 --> 00:02:18,242
I'm becoming a Jew.
27
00:02:22,079 --> 00:02:25,403
We're not barren,
we're reproductively challenged.
28
00:02:25,573 --> 00:02:27,797
- They're giving us a baby.
- That's our baby.
29
00:02:27,969 --> 00:02:31,360
So Charlotte and Harry journeyed
to China and back...
30
00:02:31,529 --> 00:02:33,718
... for their daughter, Lily.
31
00:02:34,557 --> 00:02:37,075
Miranda was a disciple of tough love.
32
00:02:37,253 --> 00:02:38,943
Bye. Great sex.
33
00:02:40,779 --> 00:02:42,367
- Steve, I'm pregnant.
- You're what?
34
00:02:42,543 --> 00:02:43,565
Carrie.
35
00:02:43,741 --> 00:02:46,600
I, Miranda Hobbes,
take you, Steve Brady...
36
00:02:46,769 --> 00:02:49,786
And Miranda journeyed to Brooklyn
for Brady and Steve.
37
00:02:49,964 --> 00:02:52,119
Who wants a Popsicle?
38
00:02:52,292 --> 00:02:54,255
Oh, man. Boy.
39
00:02:54,422 --> 00:02:57,349
Samantha's love was sex.
40
00:02:57,517 --> 00:02:59,037
Lots of sex.
41
00:02:59,214 --> 00:03:01,732
I'm dating a guy
with the funkiest-tasting spunk.
42
00:03:01,909 --> 00:03:03,236
Can I cancel my rice pudding?
43
00:03:03,407 --> 00:03:06,992
And then she found a man
that combined sex and love.
44
00:03:07,166 --> 00:03:08,494
I'm gonna help you be a star.
45
00:03:10,261 --> 00:03:11,554
Yes, he is interested...
46
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:16,943
So Samantha journeyed to Hollywood
with television star Smith Jerrod.
47
00:03:17,581 --> 00:03:21,337
As for me,
I was looking for something big.
48
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:23,799
Get in.
49
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:29,983
Mr. Big. Turns out when that big
love comes along, it's not always easy.
50
00:03:30,259 --> 00:03:31,416
CARRIE:
Just tell me I'm the one.
51
00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:34,709
And despite all the other chapters
of my life...
52
00:03:34,885 --> 00:03:38,367
... no one was ever quite
big enough until...
53
00:03:38,544 --> 00:03:39,838
Carrie, you're the one.
54
00:03:40,008 --> 00:03:42,901
And just like that, I was.
55
00:03:44,534 --> 00:03:47,290
Three books and three years later...
56
00:03:47,462 --> 00:03:51,217
... we still feel like those four single girls.
57
00:03:51,388 --> 00:03:53,941
And even though time had moved us on...
58
00:03:54,117 --> 00:03:57,668
... I managed to stay exactly where I was:
59
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:00,995
In love.
60
00:04:14,347 --> 00:04:15,970
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
61
00:04:16,244 --> 00:04:18,139
I got a good feeling about this one, kid.
62
00:04:18,307 --> 00:04:20,361
Oh, I hope so.
I've always loved this block.
63
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:23,321
Hi, 3C?
64
00:04:23,498 --> 00:04:26,357
Finding the perfect apartment
in New York City...
65
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:30,180
... is like finding the perfect partner.
It can take years.
66
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:34,040
- So how many is this?
- Thirty-three.
67
00:04:34,212 --> 00:04:36,367
Lucky 33.
68
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:44,493
- The worst. I just left you a message.
- And the kitchen's through here.
69
00:04:45,892 --> 00:04:47,548
CAROL:
That's the window with the best view.
70
00:04:48,986 --> 00:04:52,968
Thirty-four? Lucky 34?
71
00:04:53,479 --> 00:04:56,463
Well, if anything else opens up,
let us know.
72
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,465
We're very interested in this building.
73
00:04:59,635 --> 00:05:02,494
I do have another apartment
that's not even on the market yet.
74
00:05:02,663 --> 00:05:03,921
Care to take a look?
75
00:05:04,094 --> 00:05:05,115
- Sure.
- Sure.
76
00:05:05,291 --> 00:05:06,845
All right, then.
77
00:05:07,487 --> 00:05:10,244
It's more than you were looking to pay.
78
00:05:10,415 --> 00:05:12,707
- How much more?
- More.
79
00:05:21,296 --> 00:05:23,985
So this is where they keep the light.
80
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:26,211
Oh, my God.
81
00:05:26,387 --> 00:05:31,243
I have died
and gone to real-estate heaven.
82
00:05:32,344 --> 00:05:34,306
Just a simple home for two.
83
00:05:35,871 --> 00:05:38,832
And across the rooftop terrace...
84
00:05:38,998 --> 00:05:41,256
What, nirvana?
85
00:05:45,321 --> 00:05:48,406
Hello. I live here.
86
00:05:49,014 --> 00:05:50,739
Your wife has quite a sense of humor.
87
00:05:51,776 --> 00:05:54,998
- They're not married.
- He's my boyfriend.
88
00:05:55,536 --> 00:05:57,328
This way.
89
00:05:58,531 --> 00:06:02,116
Aren't I a little old
to be introduced as your boyfriend?
90
00:06:02,291 --> 00:06:06,114
Point taken. From now on,
you'll be my man-friend.
91
00:06:06,284 --> 00:06:10,004
- That sounds like a dog.
- Well, if the shoe fits...
92
00:06:10,177 --> 00:06:12,570
And this is the master bedroom.
93
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:13,997
Uh.
94
00:06:14,170 --> 00:06:18,424
It's hideous. I hate it. Hurts my eyes.
95
00:06:19,594 --> 00:06:23,383
- How is this place even available?
- Nasty divorce.
96
00:06:23,553 --> 00:06:26,672
If you live here,
what is there to fight about?
97
00:06:33,169 --> 00:06:34,463
Hm.
98
00:06:34,633 --> 00:06:38,286
- Well, now I understand the divorce.
- I can build you a better closet.
99
00:06:41,255 --> 00:06:42,718
Welcome home, baby.
100
00:06:43,983 --> 00:06:46,876
Can...? Can we afford this?
101
00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:49,732
I got it.
102
00:06:50,605 --> 00:06:53,464
BIG:
Okay, let's sign some contracts.
103
00:06:53,634 --> 00:06:54,892
"I got it." Just like that.
104
00:06:55,064 --> 00:06:58,024
- Like he was picking up a check for coffee.
- It sounds perfect.
105
00:06:58,192 --> 00:07:00,450
Except for the closet,
which Big says he can redo.
106
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,244
And he says the kitchen needs work.
107
00:07:02,418 --> 00:07:05,742
Of course, I don't know about that
because I keep sweaters in my stove.
108
00:07:05,912 --> 00:07:08,033
So he bought it
and you'll live there with him.
109
00:07:08,207 --> 00:07:09,501
Yes, together. That's right.
110
00:07:09,671 --> 00:07:12,326
But he'll own it, so
you're keeping your own place, right?
111
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:15,053
I haven't figured out the details,
but I'm a smart girl.
112
00:07:15,229 --> 00:07:17,622
I'll figure out something
that I'm comfortable with.
113
00:07:17,791 --> 00:07:19,878
I just wanna be sure
that you're being smart.
114
00:07:20,053 --> 00:07:21,483
And I love you for that.
115
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:24,203
But for now,
can't you stop worrying for me...
116
00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:27,568
...and just go ahead and feel
what I want you to feel, jealous?
117
00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:33,192
Oh, jealous of me living in this
gorgeous penthouse in Manhattan.
118
00:07:33,364 --> 00:07:35,190
- All right, I'm jealous.
- Thanks.
119
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,253
You live in real-estate heaven
and I live in Brooklyn.
120
00:07:38,421 --> 00:07:41,314
New York magazine said
Brooklyn is the new Manhattan.
121
00:07:41,482 --> 00:07:43,308
Whoever wrote that lives in Brooklyn.
122
00:07:43,479 --> 00:07:45,872
- Hey, there she is. Hey, Hollywood.
- Hey.
123
00:07:47,604 --> 00:07:49,499
CARRIE:
Oh, lady. Hi.
124
00:07:50,167 --> 00:07:51,630
- How was your flight?
- Fabulous.
125
00:07:51,798 --> 00:07:52,819
- Oh, good.
- Good.
126
00:07:52,995 --> 00:07:54,753
- Let's go in. I'm so excited.
CHARLOTTE: Show us.
127
00:07:55,956 --> 00:08:01,005
It was a rare occasion that brought
all types of New York women together.
128
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,700
Sorry.
129
00:08:03,476 --> 00:08:06,994
Blair Elkenn was a waitress
turned model turned actress...
130
00:08:07,170 --> 00:08:10,063
... turned billionaire's girlfriend
who came home one night...
131
00:08:10,232 --> 00:08:13,851
... to find herself unceremoniously
turned out on the street.
132
00:08:14,025 --> 00:08:15,046
Oh, my God.
133
00:08:15,223 --> 00:08:18,547
And now she was getting
the ultimate breakup revenge:
134
00:08:18,716 --> 00:08:20,736
An embarrassing
and very public auction...
135
00:08:20,912 --> 00:08:24,031
... of all the jewelry he had given her
when they were happy.
136
00:08:24,506 --> 00:08:27,524
There it is. My baby.
137
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:29,186
Oh, she's a beauty.
138
00:08:29,365 --> 00:08:32,292
When I saw it in the catalog,
I said to Smith:
139
00:08:32,459 --> 00:08:36,907
"This flower ring is the essence of me.
One of a kind, filled with fire."
140
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:40,011
- And a little too much.
- Exactly.
141
00:08:40,179 --> 00:08:43,696
Let's go spend some of
my hard-earned Hollywood money.
142
00:08:43,872 --> 00:08:46,832
And now Lot 39, the flower ring.
143
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,021
That's it.
144
00:08:48,198 --> 00:08:50,920
We'd like to start the bidding
on this at $ 10,000, please.
145
00:08:51,093 --> 00:08:53,918
At ten-thousand doll...
Thank you, madam. At 10,000.
146
00:08:54,087 --> 00:08:56,571
Fifteen thousand. At $ 15,000.
147
00:08:56,749 --> 00:08:59,642
Hey, she's bidding for somebody
on the phone.
148
00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:03,269
CHARLOTTE: That's not fair.
- Bitch.
149
00:09:03,437 --> 00:09:05,457
The gloves are off.
150
00:09:05,633 --> 00:09:08,186
At $30,000. Now it's against you.
Thirty-five thousand.
151
00:09:08,362 --> 00:09:10,789
- I work hard, I deserve this.
AUCTIONEER: At 40,000 now.
152
00:09:11,057 --> 00:09:14,449
At 40? Forty thousand?
Forty thousand, thank you.
153
00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:17,544
Forty-five thousand. At $45,000.
Now 50,000?
154
00:09:17,712 --> 00:09:20,265
Fifty fucking thousand.
155
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:25,657
At 50,000. Fifty-five thousand?
At $55,000 against you.
156
00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:30,256
Would you like to say 60?
Sixty to our colorful bidder? At 60,000?
157
00:09:30,423 --> 00:09:32,476
I draw the line at 50.
158
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:38,105
I thought this auction would be more fun,
but it's kind of sad.
159
00:09:38,276 --> 00:09:39,331
Isn't it?
160
00:09:39,508 --> 00:09:42,662
I thought it was just sad for me
because I know her.
161
00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:44,525
But it really is sad, huh?
162
00:09:45,030 --> 00:09:47,084
And it's funny
because they were so happy.
163
00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:49,721
- Yeah, till they weren't.
- I know, right?
164
00:09:51,054 --> 00:09:55,172
We all told her to get married
but she didn't wanna listen.
165
00:09:55,346 --> 00:09:58,602
He'd been married three times before,
so she let it ride...
166
00:09:58,773 --> 00:10:02,597
...and then she came home one night
and he had locked her out.
167
00:10:02,766 --> 00:10:04,626
She didn't even have anywhere to live.
168
00:10:05,096 --> 00:10:08,284
Such a shame. After 10 years.
169
00:10:08,457 --> 00:10:10,147
She was a smart girl...
170
00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:12,440
...till she fell in love.
171
00:10:20,668 --> 00:10:22,789
I'm thinking...
172
00:10:23,630 --> 00:10:26,749
...I'm going to sell my apartment...
173
00:10:26,923 --> 00:10:28,977
...and put the money towards
heaven on 5th.
174
00:10:29,153 --> 00:10:31,139
Why? You love your apartment.
175
00:10:31,315 --> 00:10:35,297
I know, but there's plenty of room
in the new place and...
176
00:10:35,708 --> 00:10:38,862
And besides, I...
177
00:10:39,036 --> 00:10:41,589
I want to make us a life there.
178
00:10:41,897 --> 00:10:44,949
You know, I... I want it to be ours.
179
00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:48,279
It is ours. I bought it for us.
180
00:10:48,452 --> 00:10:52,275
And that's so amazing,
but you bought it.
181
00:10:53,077 --> 00:10:58,228
So really it's your place
and if anything were to happen...
182
00:10:58,401 --> 00:10:59,796
What's going to happen?
183
00:10:59,965 --> 00:11:04,753
Come on, I have to be smart here.
We're not married, I'd have no legal rights...
184
00:11:04,923 --> 00:11:09,144
...you know, to...
To this home that I built...
185
00:11:10,247 --> 00:11:12,072
...with you.
186
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,066
Did you wanna get married?
187
00:11:19,231 --> 00:11:22,850
Well, I didn't...
I didn't think that was an option.
188
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,619
What if it was an option?
189
00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:28,504
Why? What, do you wanna get married?
190
00:11:28,914 --> 00:11:31,898
I wouldn't mind being married to you.
191
00:11:32,075 --> 00:11:34,502
Would you mind being married to me?
192
00:11:35,103 --> 00:11:39,119
No. No, not if...
Not if that's what you wanted.
193
00:11:41,358 --> 00:11:44,807
I mean, is...? Is that what you want?
194
00:11:45,851 --> 00:11:47,837
I want you.
195
00:11:48,579 --> 00:11:50,236
So...
196
00:11:50,975 --> 00:11:52,665
...okay.
197
00:11:52,839 --> 00:11:54,325
So...?
198
00:11:54,569 --> 00:11:57,757
- Really? We're...? We're getting married?
- We're getting married.
199
00:11:57,930 --> 00:12:01,378
- Should we get you a diamond?
- No, no.
200
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:04,576
Just get me a really big closet.
201
00:12:05,749 --> 00:12:10,866
So the other night Big and I
were talking about...
202
00:12:11,039 --> 00:12:16,020
...you know,
moving in together and our future...
203
00:12:16,197 --> 00:12:19,022
...and, you know, what makes sense
as we move forward and...
204
00:12:20,755 --> 00:12:22,650
...well...
205
00:12:24,116 --> 00:12:25,670
...we decided to get married.
206
00:12:25,847 --> 00:12:27,935
[SCREAMS]
207
00:12:28,576 --> 00:12:30,561
- And I'm deaf.
- I'm so excited!
208
00:12:31,038 --> 00:12:33,227
- Everybody is looking.
- Sorry!
209
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,420
I'm so sorry, everyone...
210
00:12:35,596 --> 00:12:38,716
...but this is my friend
and she just got engaged.
211
00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:44,041
And she has been going out
with the man for 10 years.
212
00:12:48,307 --> 00:12:49,532
I'm mortified.
213
00:12:49,704 --> 00:12:52,790
There is literally a ringing in my ear.
214
00:12:52,965 --> 00:12:54,054
[PHONE RINGS]
215
00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:55,693
And the big news
was about to go bicoastal.
216
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:56,881
Samantha Jones.
217
00:12:57,058 --> 00:13:01,143
Well, I made a little decision
I hope you'll be happy about.
218
00:13:01,317 --> 00:13:06,139
- Oh, honey, you finally got Botox.
- No, I did not get Botox.
219
00:13:06,308 --> 00:13:09,791
- I'm telling you, Carrie, you're gonna love it.
- I did not call...
220
00:13:09,969 --> 00:13:12,624
...to talk about Botox.
- Well, I'm just saying.
221
00:13:12,797 --> 00:13:15,021
So last week...
222
00:13:15,193 --> 00:13:18,551
... after the auction,
I started thinking about my options.
223
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,806
- Right.
- And, um...
224
00:13:24,277 --> 00:13:26,830
Well, Big and I decided to get married.
225
00:13:27,904 --> 00:13:30,864
- Really?
- Yeah.
226
00:13:31,231 --> 00:13:33,920
Well, that's great.
227
00:13:34,625 --> 00:13:36,485
You sounded more excited
about the Botox.
228
00:13:36,655 --> 00:13:39,945
Honey, I am excited for you,
but you know me.
229
00:13:40,116 --> 00:13:42,101
I don't really believe in marriage.
230
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:45,932
Now, Botox, on the other hand,
that works every time.
231
00:13:46,105 --> 00:13:48,034
Honey, I... I gotta go.
232
00:13:48,201 --> 00:13:50,595
We can catch up
when I'm in town next week.
233
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:52,249
[BEEPS]
234
00:14:00,081 --> 00:14:02,134
[PHONE RINGS]
235
00:14:03,641 --> 00:14:04,662
Hello.
236
00:14:05,438 --> 00:14:06,901
I think I was in shock.
237
00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:09,691
I mean, it's you getting married.
238
00:14:09,864 --> 00:14:12,087
This is not some random person, it's you.
239
00:14:12,259 --> 00:14:13,280
Yeah, I hear you.
240
00:14:13,457 --> 00:14:17,076
I thought that after that big mess with
Aidan, you'd never wanna get married.
241
00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:21,375
So I put you in my
"we're never getting married" file.
242
00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:23,731
Now I'm gonna have to
take you out of that file.
243
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:27,887
Well, I'm sorry about
all the extra paperwork.
244
00:14:28,064 --> 00:14:29,085
You'll get my bill.
245
00:14:29,262 --> 00:14:32,223
Samantha, it just feels
so different this time.
246
00:14:37,315 --> 00:14:38,902
It's just...
247
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:43,794
...two grownups making a decision
about spending their lives together.
248
00:14:44,436 --> 00:14:47,023
Well, I'm happy for you.
249
00:14:47,697 --> 00:14:49,058
Oh, and hey, one more thing.
250
00:14:49,227 --> 00:14:53,584
I want you to be maid of honor.
251
00:14:53,752 --> 00:14:57,008
- How do you feel about that?
- The same way you feel about Botox:
252
00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:59,074
Painful and unnecessary.
253
00:14:59,409 --> 00:15:04,163
- Seventy-four, 75, 76. Seventy-six guests.
- Seventy-five sounds better.
254
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:07,816
A small wedding of 75 guests.
255
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:11,045
Seventy-six trombones, yes.
Seventy-six guests, no.
256
00:15:11,222 --> 00:15:13,207
As a wedding gift,
Charlotte had given me...
257
00:15:13,385 --> 00:15:16,006
... Anthony Marantino,
friend and wedding planner.
258
00:15:16,179 --> 00:15:17,802
All right.
259
00:15:18,276 --> 00:15:20,102
Well, that's...
260
00:15:20,572 --> 00:15:23,260
Cutthroat. I love it.
I hope you're this decisive...
261
00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:26,360
...when it comes to location and the dress.
- I found the dress.
262
00:15:26,528 --> 00:15:28,922
- What? When?
- Yeah, the other day. I have it.
263
00:15:31,153 --> 00:15:34,601
- This is gonna be good.
- I am so excited.
264
00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:36,606
Okay.
265
00:15:37,109 --> 00:15:38,969
Here it is.
266
00:15:43,498 --> 00:15:45,722
That was the exact reaction
I was aiming for.
267
00:15:46,060 --> 00:15:49,384
It's pretty, but it's... It's so simple.
268
00:15:49,554 --> 00:15:51,448
It's simple and classic.
269
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:56,700
When I saw it, I thought,
"That is what I should marry Big in."
270
00:15:56,874 --> 00:16:01,163
- Well, who's it by? What's the label?
- No one. I found it at a vintage shop.
271
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:04,851
The bride wore a dress by no one.
272
00:16:05,027 --> 00:16:07,614
Oh, come on,
you know I'm gonna merchandise it up...
273
00:16:07,788 --> 00:16:10,182
...style it up with some shoes.
CHARLOTTE: Right.
274
00:16:11,415 --> 00:16:13,344
The invitation is fancier than the dress.
275
00:16:13,511 --> 00:16:15,474
- I heard that.
- I meant you to.
276
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:18,061
HARRY:
Don't tell anyone.
277
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,262
[SCREAMS]
278
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:31,076
CHARLOTTE: " The ultimate single gal, Carrie
Bradshaw, will be married in Manolos...
279
00:16:31,247 --> 00:16:35,797
...to New York financier
John James Preston come fall."
280
00:16:35,972 --> 00:16:39,127
- Our wedding's on Page Six.
- Who would put that in there?
281
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:44,586
"Proving to single gals everywhere
that there can be a happy ending over 40."
282
00:16:47,019 --> 00:16:48,505
- Carrie.
- Congratulations.
283
00:16:48,683 --> 00:16:52,165
It seemed everywhere I went,
people had seen Page Six.
284
00:16:52,343 --> 00:16:56,291
Even people you didn't expect,
like my Vogue editor, Enid.
285
00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:59,023
We're putting together
our annual age issue...
286
00:16:59,198 --> 00:17:00,684
...and we'd like you to do 40.
287
00:17:00,861 --> 00:17:03,119
- Great. Who am I interviewing?
- No.
288
00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:05,378
You. You are 40.
289
00:17:05,553 --> 00:17:09,240
I want you to be featured in the magazine
as the 40-year-old...
290
00:17:09,413 --> 00:17:12,067
And here's the brilliant twist.
- bride.
291
00:17:14,072 --> 00:17:17,362
Wait, I'm... I would be in the magazine?
292
00:17:17,532 --> 00:17:20,981
In bridal couture.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity...
293
00:17:21,159 --> 00:17:26,276
...so spare me a week of
faux soul-searching and just say yes.
294
00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:29,841
Enid, I am so very flattered,
but honestly, I...
295
00:17:30,010 --> 00:17:31,734
Carrie, Vogue designers.
296
00:17:31,907 --> 00:17:33,563
Vogue photographers.
297
00:17:33,736 --> 00:17:35,359
Vogue airbrushing.
298
00:17:35,999 --> 00:17:38,858
Nod your head. Yes.
299
00:17:41,889 --> 00:17:44,010
Thank you. It will be a sensation.
300
00:17:44,185 --> 00:17:46,646
We're calling it "The Last Single Girl."
301
00:17:46,813 --> 00:17:50,829
Well, I'm hardly the last single girl.
302
00:17:51,007 --> 00:17:55,193
No, but 40 is the last age a woman
can be photographed in a wedding gown...
303
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,259
...without the unintended
Diane Arbus subtext.
304
00:17:58,426 --> 00:18:01,909
I thought the issue was
"Great Style at Every Age."
305
00:18:02,087 --> 00:18:05,172
Style, yes. Bride, no.
306
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,161
- Is that better?
- Just your typical Wednesday.
307
00:18:12,336 --> 00:18:14,797
Hanging out with old friends
like Stanford Blatch...
308
00:18:15,430 --> 00:18:18,323
... and new friends like Vera Wang.
309
00:18:18,491 --> 00:18:22,076
She's looking at home for someone
who didn't think she had the bride gene.
310
00:18:22,251 --> 00:18:24,974
- Well, I guess with the right man...
- And the right dress.
311
00:18:25,512 --> 00:18:28,961
When I get married, I'm wearing
something like that, only bigger.
312
00:18:30,237 --> 00:18:31,723
MAN:
Beauty. Hot.
313
00:18:32,267 --> 00:18:33,786
Love the veil.
314
00:18:33,964 --> 00:18:36,255
And Carolina Herrera.
315
00:18:38,888 --> 00:18:41,282
MAN: Nothing fancy, but it's beautiful.
Good work.
316
00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:42,539
Great, let's do it.
317
00:18:53,729 --> 00:18:55,918
And Christian Lacroix.
318
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:03,867
Come on, look at the model.
319
00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:06,668
And Lanvin.
320
00:19:11,631 --> 00:19:12,652
And Dior.
321
00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:23,933
And Oscar de la Renta.
322
00:19:27,836 --> 00:19:32,124
And finally, Vivienne Westwood.
323
00:19:32,294 --> 00:19:34,620
A dress so special...
324
00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:39,770
... it could bring a wedding tear from
even the most unbelieving of women.
325
00:19:45,904 --> 00:19:50,158
And then, the impossible happened.
326
00:20:16,350 --> 00:20:17,711
And just like that...
327
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,999
... Vivienne Westwood
kicked my sweet little suit's ass.
328
00:20:30,991 --> 00:20:38,330
Can I lean?
329
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:48,505
Are you the last person in New York
still taking out library books?
330
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,978
I love the smell.
331
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:53,650
Mm.
332
00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:57,855
Oh. That's an oldie.
333
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:00,757
"Love Letters of Great Men,
Volume One. "
334
00:21:00,925 --> 00:21:02,984
- Oh, am I in there?
- No, no.
335
00:21:03,161 --> 00:21:07,291
But some of your classmates are,
like Voltaire, Napoleon.
336
00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:13,031
- Young lady, you need to get glasses.
- No, I don't. I have yours.
337
00:21:13,204 --> 00:21:15,434
Okay, here's Napoleon.
338
00:21:15,874 --> 00:21:19,537
"My dearest Josephine,
I wake consumed with thoughts of you."
339
00:21:19,711 --> 00:21:22,942
Typical short guy.
Gives it all away upfront.
340
00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:26,217
- Why are you reading this?
- It's research for my new book.
341
00:21:26,384 --> 00:21:29,979
- Oh. What's it about?
- Love.
342
00:21:30,155 --> 00:21:31,782
I used to write about finding love.
343
00:21:31,956 --> 00:21:35,357
Now I wanna write about
what happens after you've found it.
344
00:21:35,527 --> 00:21:37,290
Interesting.
345
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:40,693
- What happens?
- Mm. Stay tuned.
346
00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:43,630
Oh, here, listen. It's Beethoven.
347
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:46,168
Bring it, Ludwig.
348
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:51,264
"My thoughts go out to you,
my immortal beloved.
349
00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:55,243
I can live only wholly with you
or not at all."
350
00:21:55,413 --> 00:21:56,744
Good stuff.
351
00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:59,281
"Be calm my life, my all.
352
00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:02,284
Only by calm consideration
of our existence...
353
00:22:02,454 --> 00:22:05,252
...can we achieve
our purpose to live together.
354
00:22:05,423 --> 00:22:07,857
Oh, continue to love me.
Never misjudge...
355
00:22:08,026 --> 00:22:10,961
...the most faithful heart of your beloved.
356
00:22:11,129 --> 00:22:16,260
Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours."
357
00:22:20,205 --> 00:22:22,605
Have you ever written me a love letter?
358
00:22:22,774 --> 00:22:24,241
Does a love fax count?
359
00:22:25,143 --> 00:22:29,273
- When have I ever gotten a love fax?
- Oh, I'm sure my secretary sent you one...
360
00:22:29,447 --> 00:22:31,779
...at some point.
- Yeah.
361
00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:35,344
What can I tell you, baby?
It's not my style.
362
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,887
Besides, those guys had to write.
They were separated from their loves...
363
00:22:39,057 --> 00:22:42,720
...by wars
and hundreds and hundreds of miles.
364
00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:45,021
I'm right here.
365
00:22:45,196 --> 00:22:47,130
Hello.
366
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:52,696
- You make me very happy.
- Yeah, yeah. Put it in writing.
367
00:22:53,838 --> 00:22:58,502
With my mind prenuptially preoccupied,
I became delinquent with my library books.
368
00:22:58,676 --> 00:23:02,476
So now the tragic love stories
of Wuthering Heights and Love Story...
369
00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:04,774
... were going to cost me
more than a few tears.
370
00:23:04,949 --> 00:23:06,940
Excuse me, which way is the wedding?
371
00:23:07,185 --> 00:23:09,085
Up the stairs.
372
00:23:20,064 --> 00:23:22,157
It was perfect.
373
00:23:22,333 --> 00:23:25,359
Big and I would be married
in the classic New York landmark...
374
00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:29,303
... that housed all the great love stories.
375
00:23:32,477 --> 00:23:34,274
Where is the waiter with the check?
376
00:23:34,445 --> 00:23:38,040
Jeez, Miranda, relax.
Magda hasn't even finished yet.
377
00:23:38,546 --> 00:23:41,174
I still have a brief to work on
when I get home.
378
00:23:41,349 --> 00:23:44,911
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- I'll take him.
379
00:23:45,087 --> 00:23:46,145
MIRANDA:
Thank you, Magda.
380
00:23:47,090 --> 00:23:50,856
We're gonna wash that beautiful face.
Come, darling.
381
00:23:53,230 --> 00:23:54,254
What?
382
00:23:54,432 --> 00:23:56,901
We can't let the hard-working nanny
finish her supper?
383
00:23:57,069 --> 00:24:00,699
I'm sorry, I'm exhausted.
Brady woke me up at 5 a.m.
384
00:24:00,873 --> 00:24:03,899
- Hey, he woke me up too.
- Yeah.
385
00:24:04,077 --> 00:24:06,876
We gotta stop letting Brady
come into our bed.
386
00:24:11,252 --> 00:24:13,117
You got milk on your top lip.
387
00:24:14,889 --> 00:24:16,050
What now?
388
00:24:16,224 --> 00:24:19,524
- It's like you're always criticizing me.
- I am not.
389
00:24:20,463 --> 00:24:24,628
You wanna go through life with foam
on your lip and no one ever telling you?
390
00:24:32,244 --> 00:24:34,474
Anything you wanna tell me?
391
00:24:41,554 --> 00:24:44,423
Hm. Is there anything you wanna tell me?
392
00:24:47,229 --> 00:24:50,096
[MOANING]
393
00:24:51,067 --> 00:24:55,562
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Wait. Wait. Don't come already.
394
00:24:55,739 --> 00:24:59,300
- Yeah.
- No, wait. Get on top.
395
00:24:59,476 --> 00:25:02,105
Let's just get it over with.
396
00:25:06,318 --> 00:25:09,755
I mean, we gotta get up
in four and a half hours.
397
00:25:10,957 --> 00:25:14,416
We never have sex
and you wanna get it over with?
398
00:25:19,634 --> 00:25:23,503
- Steve, we have sex.
- When was the last time we had sex?
399
00:25:24,473 --> 00:25:26,271
Um...
400
00:25:29,013 --> 00:25:31,846
STEVE:
There was snow on the ground.
401
00:25:38,356 --> 00:25:41,053
- How often do you guys have sex?
- Sex.
402
00:25:41,226 --> 00:25:43,024
- Miranda, please.
MIRANDA: What?
403
00:25:43,496 --> 00:25:45,623
She's 3.
She doesn't know what it means.
404
00:25:45,798 --> 00:25:47,790
I'm 41 and I still don't know
what it means.
405
00:25:47,968 --> 00:25:50,232
I know, but she is repeating everything.
406
00:25:50,405 --> 00:25:54,535
If I'd known the girl talk was gonna be on
lockdown, I wouldn't have flown 3000 miles.
407
00:25:54,709 --> 00:25:57,337
No, we can talk.
Let's just not use that word.
408
00:25:57,980 --> 00:26:01,508
Fine. How often do you guys?
409
00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:03,380
- Color?
CHARLOTTE: Thank you.
410
00:26:03,553 --> 00:26:07,888
Well, I can't color enough.
I could color all day every day.
411
00:26:08,059 --> 00:26:12,155
If I had my way,
I would use every crayon in my box.
412
00:26:12,331 --> 00:26:15,563
We get it. You love to color.
413
00:26:15,735 --> 00:26:17,498
Why are you asking?
414
00:26:17,670 --> 00:26:22,870
Well, last night Steve and I were coloring,
and I was just about to...
415
00:26:23,043 --> 00:26:25,807
Come.
I'm sorry, there's no crayon equivalent.
416
00:26:25,981 --> 00:26:29,508
And he wanted to switch positions
and I said:
417
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,078
"Let's just get it over with."
418
00:26:34,690 --> 00:26:37,251
- He kept trying to make it last longer.
- This is bad?
419
00:26:37,427 --> 00:26:40,294
- It is when you have a full-time job.
- I have a full-time job.
420
00:26:40,464 --> 00:26:43,299
You don't also have a 5-year-old,
play dates, PTA meetings...
421
00:26:43,469 --> 00:26:46,905
...and a mother-in-law in a rest home
with advancing Alzheimer's.
422
00:26:47,072 --> 00:26:50,269
We're just going through
a no-coloring phase.
423
00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:53,241
- It comes and goes, right?
CHARLOTTE: Every couple is different.
424
00:26:53,648 --> 00:26:56,139
Harry and I make love
two, three times a week.
425
00:26:56,317 --> 00:26:59,548
- Great, now I feel worse.
- Well, when was the last time for you?
426
00:27:01,557 --> 00:27:03,651
- Six months ago.
- Oh, my.
427
00:27:04,927 --> 00:27:06,919
It sounds long.
428
00:27:07,096 --> 00:27:10,065
- But... But that's a dry spell.
- I bet it is.
429
00:27:10,234 --> 00:27:13,635
Hey, Carrie. What about you and Big?
430
00:27:14,104 --> 00:27:17,131
Come on. I told. Tell.
431
00:27:17,309 --> 00:27:18,537
Mm-mm.
432
00:27:18,710 --> 00:27:20,678
But I will tell you this.
433
00:27:20,845 --> 00:27:22,609
When Big colors...
434
00:27:24,183 --> 00:27:27,585
...he rarely stays inside the lines.
435
00:27:27,754 --> 00:27:30,245
Well, this has been very helpful.
436
00:27:30,425 --> 00:27:34,624
[JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
437
00:27:40,036 --> 00:27:41,867
John?
438
00:27:48,713 --> 00:27:50,909
- Hey.
- Come here.
439
00:27:59,093 --> 00:28:01,891
Totally outside the lines.
440
00:28:09,839 --> 00:28:13,206
Well, send it to Smith Jerrod
at the office address.
441
00:28:13,677 --> 00:28:16,009
I gotta go. Something just came up.
442
00:28:18,116 --> 00:28:22,018
- I got a gift for you.
- So far, I like it.
443
00:28:30,496 --> 00:28:31,828
How'd...?
444
00:28:32,399 --> 00:28:35,528
Wait. That was you on the phone
at the auction.
445
00:28:35,703 --> 00:28:39,834
- I knew how much you wanted it.
- But I was gonna buy it for myself.
446
00:28:40,242 --> 00:28:42,073
Well, I wanted to give it to you.
447
00:28:42,945 --> 00:28:45,071
For our anniversary.
448
00:28:45,248 --> 00:28:47,239
We met five years ago today.
449
00:28:48,751 --> 00:28:50,116
Right.
450
00:28:51,188 --> 00:28:52,519
Do you like it?
451
00:28:52,690 --> 00:28:55,592
Well, just to be clear,
this is a ring with diamonds...
452
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,525
...it's not a diamond ring, right?
- Yeah.
453
00:28:59,799 --> 00:29:01,824
Well, in that case, I love it.
454
00:29:02,001 --> 00:29:05,369
It's my second favorite thing
I've ever found in there.
455
00:29:07,107 --> 00:29:11,772
Now, my gift is a little bit more oral.
456
00:29:13,214 --> 00:29:18,119
- Babe, I have to go to bed.
- Bed? It's 7:30.
457
00:29:18,288 --> 00:29:21,986
I have to be at the studio by 6 a.m.
and I need to get a workout in before that.
458
00:29:22,158 --> 00:29:23,819
You see, this is how it starts.
459
00:29:23,993 --> 00:29:28,329
Next thing you know, we're only
having sex three or four times a week.
460
00:29:38,211 --> 00:29:41,409
[WOMAN MOANING]
461
00:29:58,336 --> 00:30:02,295
And that is how Samantha learned
she had a new neighbor.
462
00:30:03,207 --> 00:30:06,109
From then on, night after night...
463
00:30:06,278 --> 00:30:08,839
... while Smith got his beauty sleep...
464
00:30:10,784 --> 00:30:15,552
... Samantha found something
more interesting to watch than TiVo.
465
00:30:19,727 --> 00:30:22,526
- Keep going.
- Okay.
466
00:30:23,598 --> 00:30:25,726
- Keep them closed.
- Okay.
467
00:30:27,204 --> 00:30:30,537
Okay. Open them.
468
00:30:32,876 --> 00:30:34,902
Double doors.
469
00:30:35,079 --> 00:30:37,513
So far, so good.
470
00:30:47,894 --> 00:30:50,022
Oh, my God.
471
00:30:53,302 --> 00:30:58,035
- Oh, you did me proud, mister.
- You like it?
472
00:30:59,442 --> 00:31:00,499
"Like it?"
473
00:31:05,349 --> 00:31:07,510
It's love at first sight.
474
00:31:07,685 --> 00:31:09,881
Oh, my.
475
00:31:10,055 --> 00:31:13,287
Here. Wait.
476
00:31:13,458 --> 00:31:14,983
Hold this.
477
00:31:22,737 --> 00:31:25,706
Now I believe this is all really happening.
478
00:31:26,541 --> 00:31:28,634
I can't believe it sold so fast.
479
00:31:28,810 --> 00:31:31,678
- It's a sign.
- Yeah, it's a sign I priced it too low.
480
00:31:31,847 --> 00:31:32,905
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
481
00:31:33,082 --> 00:31:36,451
Hey, that's the food. Will you buzz
them in? And money's on the table.
482
00:31:36,621 --> 00:31:39,954
I'm gonna get started on the closet.
I should be done in about 17 years.
483
00:31:40,123 --> 00:31:43,423
All right. Pink Post-it: take.
484
00:31:43,828 --> 00:31:46,889
Purple: toss. Yellow: storage.
485
00:31:47,065 --> 00:31:49,466
CARRIE:
Oh, you're very good friends.
486
00:31:49,636 --> 00:31:51,160
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
487
00:31:55,409 --> 00:31:56,514
Oh, my God.
488
00:31:58,246 --> 00:31:59,437
[SCREAMS]
489
00:31:59,616 --> 00:32:03,003
CHARLOTTE: I can't believe it.
Lily, look who it is. Aunt Samantha.
490
00:32:04,275 --> 00:32:05,326
[GASPS]
491
00:32:05,508 --> 00:32:09,198
- What are you doing here?
- A lot of shit went down in this place.
492
00:32:09,378 --> 00:32:11,970
Attention must be paid.
493
00:32:12,564 --> 00:32:13,686
Ah.
494
00:32:13,867 --> 00:32:15,642
[SCREAMING]
495
00:32:15,818 --> 00:32:18,410
Really, champagne.
496
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:25,542
[RUN-D.M.C.'S "WALK THIS WAY"
PLAYS OVER STEREO]
497
00:32:25,718 --> 00:32:27,668
- Remember this?
- Oh, yeah.
498
00:32:27,841 --> 00:32:31,228
While Samantha put on
The Best of the '80s...
499
00:32:32,705 --> 00:32:33,925
... I put on the worst.
500
00:32:42,129 --> 00:32:43,741
Banana clip.
501
00:32:47,486 --> 00:32:49,233
Yeah.
502
00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:51,413
SAMANTHA:
Work it.
503
00:32:53,636 --> 00:32:55,146
MIRANDA:
Madonna.
504
00:32:55,323 --> 00:32:58,491
Whoo, whoo!
505
00:33:07,425 --> 00:33:08,440
No fun.
506
00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:29,211
It took four friends three days...
507
00:33:29,382 --> 00:33:33,441
... to put 20 years into 38 boxes.
508
00:33:56,364 --> 00:33:58,472
While I run over
to see your mother tomorrow...
509
00:33:58,645 --> 00:34:01,554
...maybe you could take Brady
by the first birthday party alone.
510
00:34:01,721 --> 00:34:06,378
And then I'll meet you at the twins' party,
and you can leave and be at the bar by 6.
511
00:34:07,277 --> 00:34:08,663
What's the matter?
512
00:34:10,881 --> 00:34:13,293
I had sex with someone else.
513
00:34:16,172 --> 00:34:19,013
And you're so amazing...
514
00:34:19,643 --> 00:34:22,383
...and I don't know how
I could do that to you.
515
00:34:22,553 --> 00:34:26,250
You and I hadn't had sex
in a really long time and I...
516
00:34:26,423 --> 00:34:27,742
God.
517
00:34:28,242 --> 00:34:30,779
It didn't mean anything.
It just happened once.
518
00:34:30,953 --> 00:34:32,633
And it's been killing me.
519
00:34:34,722 --> 00:34:36,435
It's killing you?
520
00:34:36,607 --> 00:34:37,858
It just happened.
521
00:34:38,625 --> 00:34:41,297
I... I...
522
00:34:41,468 --> 00:34:43,282
I... I... I wasn't thinking.
523
00:34:43,585 --> 00:34:46,223
Do not follow me.
524
00:34:58,793 --> 00:35:00,795
Scout, off.
525
00:35:09,023 --> 00:35:11,363
Miranda, it's still me.
526
00:35:14,797 --> 00:35:16,405
Is it?
527
00:35:22,351 --> 00:35:25,184
Steve. I just... I can't believe it.
528
00:35:25,654 --> 00:35:27,816
- That's what I said.
MIRANDA: Yes, it's sad.
529
00:35:27,990 --> 00:35:31,086
But I'm not gonna make it any sadder
by staying at a bad hotel...
530
00:35:31,262 --> 00:35:34,130
...while I look for a place.
Could you pass the salt?
531
00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:36,700
Plus, I have to be downtown
and close to Brooklyn.
532
00:35:36,870 --> 00:35:39,703
We're gonna keep Brady's life
as normal as we possibly can.
533
00:35:39,875 --> 00:35:42,902
I'm gonna have him on my days
and Steve will have him on his...
534
00:35:43,078 --> 00:35:45,810
...and Magda will shuttle
back and forth between.
535
00:35:45,982 --> 00:35:48,975
Well, I don't really know
if this question is allowed...
536
00:35:49,153 --> 00:35:50,815
...but how is Steve handling this?
537
00:35:50,990 --> 00:35:53,925
Says he's devastated,
begs me to forgive him.
538
00:35:54,094 --> 00:35:56,688
It's not gonna happen.
I can barely even look at him.
539
00:35:56,863 --> 00:35:58,991
Miranda, honey,
are you sure you wanna do this?
540
00:35:59,501 --> 00:36:01,901
It's just one time.
Anyone can have a slip.
541
00:36:02,070 --> 00:36:06,167
Even if I could get my mind around that
justification, it's the cheating part.
542
00:36:06,611 --> 00:36:10,513
The behind-my-back part, the violation
of the trust. That's what's killing me.
543
00:36:19,727 --> 00:36:22,162
Thank you for being you.
544
00:36:25,369 --> 00:36:28,896
Charlotte made love to Harry
four times that week.
545
00:36:29,074 --> 00:36:32,407
Okay. Wedding crunch time.
We need to get really serious here.
546
00:36:33,780 --> 00:36:36,546
Okay, not now.
I just got an e-mail from our contractor.
547
00:36:36,717 --> 00:36:39,346
He's pushed the move-in date yet again.
548
00:36:39,522 --> 00:36:41,423
- I gotta write this guy and...
- No, no, no.
549
00:36:41,591 --> 00:36:45,393
No. Wedding before contractor, all right?
550
00:36:45,563 --> 00:36:50,264
Unless you're planning to invite him,
which would make the guest list 201.
551
00:36:52,005 --> 00:36:55,032
Two hundred?
Jesus, Carrie, it went up again?
552
00:36:55,208 --> 00:36:58,201
- It's the dress.
- You said 75 people.
553
00:36:59,381 --> 00:37:02,112
How can I explain this?
554
00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:05,480
Look...
555
00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:07,925
...you play poker, right?
556
00:37:08,094 --> 00:37:10,153
Well, the dress upped the ante.
557
00:37:12,299 --> 00:37:13,732
Hey.
558
00:37:15,471 --> 00:37:18,440
How you doing on your vows?
559
00:37:18,607 --> 00:37:23,273
A reminder. You'll be saying these in front
of a lot of people, so the pressure is on.
560
00:37:23,447 --> 00:37:25,347
All right, up. I have to finish this. Up.
561
00:37:25,516 --> 00:37:27,179
- Hey.
- I don't have time for this.
562
00:37:27,352 --> 00:37:31,814
- You're not taking it seriously.
- No, no, I'm not. It is a circus.
563
00:37:36,498 --> 00:37:38,364
Two hundred people?
564
00:37:38,534 --> 00:37:40,799
Page Six?
565
00:37:44,408 --> 00:37:49,041
This is my third marriage.
How do you think that makes me look?
566
00:37:56,592 --> 00:38:00,655
I didn't know that was even an issue.
567
00:38:05,537 --> 00:38:07,700
So why didn't you say anything sooner?
568
00:38:08,608 --> 00:38:12,341
- You wanted all of this.
- Well, yeah.
569
00:38:12,847 --> 00:38:15,078
- But don't you want...?
- I want you.
570
00:38:15,384 --> 00:38:16,874
That's what I want.
571
00:38:18,722 --> 00:38:21,488
I could have just gone down to city hall.
572
00:38:41,286 --> 00:38:44,119
I think it's too late for city hall now.
573
00:38:45,325 --> 00:38:48,317
Well, no, I wasn't suggesting that...
574
00:38:48,496 --> 00:38:49,793
I was just saying.
575
00:38:52,668 --> 00:38:55,570
See, that's the face...
576
00:38:55,738 --> 00:38:58,800
...I've been trying to avoid.
577
00:38:59,677 --> 00:39:01,407
Come here.
578
00:39:07,855 --> 00:39:10,653
You're a great man-friend.
579
00:39:13,530 --> 00:39:17,991
And soon,
it was the night before the big day.
580
00:39:21,039 --> 00:39:23,064
There they are.
581
00:39:31,152 --> 00:39:33,849
[CHATTERING]
582
00:39:41,234 --> 00:39:44,204
SAMANTHA: Now, I know it's tradition
at the rehearsal dinner...
583
00:39:44,371 --> 00:39:49,173
...for the maid of honor to reveal
embarrassing things about the bride.
584
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:54,215
But in our group, we never kiss and tell.
585
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:59,514
- So I'd like to make a toast to the groom.
- There's a word he's heard before.
586
00:40:03,230 --> 00:40:05,859
- Who's that guy again?
- Karl. He's a partner at the firm.
587
00:40:06,033 --> 00:40:07,058
Karl's kind of a jerk.
588
00:40:07,235 --> 00:40:09,295
You know what they say,
three time's a charm.
589
00:40:09,471 --> 00:40:11,703
Hey, dickwad, I'm speaking.
590
00:40:14,178 --> 00:40:17,046
- Yeah, Samantha.
- Yeah.
591
00:40:19,385 --> 00:40:23,824
Now, there were times when we had
our doubts about this gorgeous man.
592
00:40:23,992 --> 00:40:28,453
But after careful observation
over the last hundred years...
593
00:40:28,631 --> 00:40:30,760
...my doubts are over.
594
00:40:30,935 --> 00:40:33,928
So here's to the groom...
595
00:40:34,105 --> 00:40:37,439
...a man who finally got "Carrie-d" away.
596
00:40:37,609 --> 00:40:39,669
PEOPLE:
Aww.
597
00:40:39,845 --> 00:40:41,109
Here's hoping, John.
598
00:40:41,414 --> 00:40:43,542
That is a jackass. Here.
599
00:40:43,717 --> 00:40:45,618
- Cheers.
- That was really nice. Thank you.
600
00:40:45,786 --> 00:40:47,915
HARRY: There's nothing like
an illegal Cuban cigar...
601
00:40:48,090 --> 00:40:50,650
...after dinner, huh?
SAMANTHA: Exactly.
602
00:40:50,828 --> 00:40:52,922
So that was quite a toast, Samantha.
603
00:40:53,096 --> 00:40:54,360
Well, you're quite a guy.
604
00:40:54,566 --> 00:40:57,161
WOMAN: Oh, my God, there's a cab.
MAN: Oh, yeah.
605
00:41:00,407 --> 00:41:01,534
Steve.
606
00:41:02,243 --> 00:41:05,942
- I don't wanna bother you all.
- You're not bothering us.
607
00:41:07,382 --> 00:41:09,045
But...
608
00:41:09,720 --> 00:41:12,349
...I need to talk to Miranda.
609
00:41:12,957 --> 00:41:15,449
Samantha, could you ask her
to come out?
610
00:41:15,627 --> 00:41:17,926
I don't wanna go in. It's a party and all.
611
00:41:18,866 --> 00:41:20,231
Sure.
612
00:41:24,607 --> 00:41:27,941
Hey. I haven't talked to you all night.
613
00:41:28,110 --> 00:41:29,669
Steve's here.
614
00:41:33,485 --> 00:41:36,250
They're not poodles.
You know what I mean.
615
00:41:36,823 --> 00:41:40,659
Hey, guys. Would you give us?
616
00:41:41,162 --> 00:41:43,392
MAN:
Yeah, sure, going in.
617
00:41:46,636 --> 00:41:48,401
You're all right?
618
00:41:56,182 --> 00:42:00,018
You didn't leave me any choice.
You won't return my calls.
619
00:42:00,188 --> 00:42:03,248
You only talk to me in front of the baby
and I can't say anything.
620
00:42:03,426 --> 00:42:06,793
What could you possibly have to say
that could make it any better?
621
00:42:07,263 --> 00:42:12,362
- Please. It was just that one time.
- You broke us!
622
00:42:12,537 --> 00:42:15,473
You broke us. What we had is broken.
623
00:42:17,145 --> 00:42:18,806
WOMAN:
What the fuck is happening?
624
00:42:18,980 --> 00:42:21,312
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
625
00:42:26,056 --> 00:42:28,787
I changed who I was for you.
626
00:42:35,436 --> 00:42:36,903
Hey.
627
00:42:37,972 --> 00:42:40,943
- Are you all right?
- No, I'm not all right.
628
00:42:41,510 --> 00:42:46,381
You two are crazy to get married.
Marriage ruins everything.
629
00:42:57,132 --> 00:43:01,934
Hey. There you are.
I thought you'd skipped out on me.
630
00:43:02,105 --> 00:43:03,231
No.
631
00:43:03,406 --> 00:43:06,275
Well, the all-gal sleepover's
about to commence.
632
00:43:12,152 --> 00:43:14,780
Hey, is everything okay?
633
00:43:14,955 --> 00:43:17,517
Yeah. I'm just tired, I guess.
634
00:43:17,693 --> 00:43:19,992
All right. Well, go home and go to sleep.
635
00:43:20,162 --> 00:43:23,132
But first give me a kiss good night
and make it a good one...
636
00:43:23,401 --> 00:43:27,702
...because it's the last single-girl kiss.
637
00:43:30,142 --> 00:43:34,171
- I always knew she would marry Big.
- Oh, you did not.
638
00:43:34,348 --> 00:43:36,682
- That's crazy.
- Yes, I did.
639
00:43:36,851 --> 00:43:41,222
After every breakup I secretly thought,
"Nope. They belong together."
640
00:43:41,391 --> 00:43:43,326
You thought that
after the second breakup?
641
00:43:43,494 --> 00:43:45,189
- Yup.
- After the fifteenth?
642
00:43:45,363 --> 00:43:48,334
Ha-ha. That's hilarious.
We broke up a lot.
643
00:43:48,500 --> 00:43:52,028
Yeah, but after the breakups
comes the hot make-up sex.
644
00:43:52,405 --> 00:43:54,772
[PHONE RINGING]
645
00:43:55,109 --> 00:43:58,569
Hey, you wanna get that? Open up.
646
00:43:59,649 --> 00:44:01,311
- Now say something.
- Sex.
647
00:44:05,657 --> 00:44:08,126
Are you sure she's not my child?
648
00:44:08,795 --> 00:44:10,956
- Hello?
- It's me.
649
00:44:11,132 --> 00:44:13,533
Oh, my God, did you just hear Lily?
650
00:44:13,702 --> 00:44:16,466
- I need to talk.
- What?
651
00:44:16,638 --> 00:44:22,307
I'm sitting here
trying to write these vows and...
652
00:44:23,448 --> 00:44:25,747
Is this something we really wanna do?
653
00:44:27,086 --> 00:44:30,523
Hey, you know what? You guys, it's Big.
I'm gonna... I'm gonna take it.
654
00:44:31,325 --> 00:44:34,660
Get some sleep, groomie.
655
00:44:38,668 --> 00:44:41,639
- What's the matter?
- It's just...
656
00:44:41,973 --> 00:44:45,205
...everything is great as it is.
657
00:44:46,111 --> 00:44:48,946
- I don't wanna screw it up.
- You won't.
658
00:44:49,116 --> 00:44:51,415
I screwed it up twice before.
659
00:44:52,687 --> 00:44:54,383
Here's the thing.
660
00:44:54,891 --> 00:45:00,262
This is me you're marrying tomorrow.
Me. It's nobody else.
661
00:45:01,166 --> 00:45:04,399
- Yeah?
- And I'm marrying you.
662
00:45:04,569 --> 00:45:06,094
It's me and you.
663
00:45:06,505 --> 00:45:09,442
And do you wanna hear
the great news there?
664
00:45:09,610 --> 00:45:10,634
Yeah.
665
00:45:10,811 --> 00:45:13,646
We've both already done
everything we can to screw it up.
666
00:45:15,385 --> 00:45:19,016
- Is that a smile I'm hearing?
- Yeah.
667
00:45:19,190 --> 00:45:23,628
It sounds to me like you've got
a bit of writer's block on the vow front.
668
00:45:23,796 --> 00:45:24,922
Yeah.
669
00:45:25,098 --> 00:45:27,966
And I find, you know,
as a professional writer...
670
00:45:28,136 --> 00:45:32,039
...that it's best to just, you know...
671
00:45:32,209 --> 00:45:35,838
...just stop thinking about it so much
and go to bed.
672
00:45:36,012 --> 00:45:38,073
And in the morning...
673
00:45:38,249 --> 00:45:41,481
- You'll know what to do.
- Exactly.
674
00:45:41,653 --> 00:45:44,782
And if not, then just write this:
675
00:45:44,958 --> 00:45:46,585
I will love you.
676
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:48,853
Simple, to the point...
677
00:45:49,029 --> 00:45:53,331
...and I swear I won't even
try to take credit for it.
678
00:45:55,272 --> 00:45:57,764
So you're gonna go to bed now, right?
679
00:45:58,576 --> 00:46:02,138
Okay. Good night.
680
00:46:02,314 --> 00:46:05,375
I'll see you tomorrow. And hey...
681
00:46:06,587 --> 00:46:08,519
...it's me and you.
682
00:46:42,193 --> 00:46:43,888
Now, there's a bride.
683
00:46:49,965 --> 00:46:52,092
ANTHONY: Before we leave, we're gonna
pick up our flowers, right, girls?
684
00:46:52,267 --> 00:46:53,494
[PHONE RINGING]
685
00:46:53,668 --> 00:46:56,535
Miranda, you're gonna have the dahlias.
Samantha, you have the roses.
686
00:46:56,704 --> 00:47:00,366
- And Charlotte...
CHARLOTTE: We can take care of it.
687
00:47:01,574 --> 00:47:03,269
Hello?
688
00:47:04,076 --> 00:47:06,839
Could you put Carrie
on the phone, please?
689
00:47:08,379 --> 00:47:09,641
Hello?
690
00:47:15,451 --> 00:47:18,385
ANTHONY: Who let the dogs out?
Get these dogs out of here!
691
00:47:18,553 --> 00:47:22,216
That's all we need is the lift of a leg
on the train of a dress.
692
00:47:22,390 --> 00:47:24,755
ANTHONY:
Could you open this door, please?
693
00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:27,791
- Wait, wait, hold it.
WOMAN: I'm trying to find out...
694
00:47:27,961 --> 00:47:29,258
- Oh, my God.
ANTHONY: Hey.
695
00:47:29,429 --> 00:47:31,623
- The girls are in this car.
- All of us together?
696
00:47:31,797 --> 00:47:34,766
All of you together.
Okay? Come on, lift it up. Let's go.
697
00:47:34,933 --> 00:47:36,797
CARRIE [ON RECORDING]:
Hey, it's Carrie. Leave me a message.
698
00:47:36,968 --> 00:47:40,960
- See you then. Bye-bye.
WOMAN: Just so beautiful.
699
00:47:45,674 --> 00:47:46,800
ANTHONY: Blue.
MIRANDA: Yes, sir.
700
00:47:46,976 --> 00:47:50,274
- Red and black.
CHARLOTTE: Okay, I'll see you there.
701
00:47:50,445 --> 00:47:52,537
- Where's black?
- Oh, I'm coming, I'm coming.
702
00:47:52,713 --> 00:47:54,647
- You're following the red.
- I'm coming.
703
00:47:54,815 --> 00:47:57,282
Okay. Come on. Let's go.
704
00:47:57,450 --> 00:47:59,611
- Ready?
- Yeah, okay, you're in.
705
00:47:59,785 --> 00:48:00,978
Okay.
706
00:48:01,152 --> 00:48:05,247
There's the bride. Look, she's dressed
like a princess, do you see?
707
00:48:05,422 --> 00:48:07,481
- Can you hold that?
- Oh, yes.
708
00:48:07,658 --> 00:48:09,091
Thank you. Okay.
709
00:48:09,759 --> 00:48:11,693
MIRANDA:
Come on, scootch over.
710
00:48:14,162 --> 00:48:17,222
ANTHONY: It's like pushing a cream puff
through a keyhole.
711
00:48:17,399 --> 00:48:18,592
See you at the library.
712
00:48:18,766 --> 00:48:22,201
- Hey, it's Carrie. Leave me a message.
- Why haven't you called me back?
713
00:48:22,369 --> 00:48:26,032
Look, I really need to talk to you.
Call me as soon as you get this.
714
00:48:28,507 --> 00:48:32,909
No more wedding guests on these stairs,
understand? Bridal party only.
715
00:48:34,379 --> 00:48:36,812
We've got a problem. They're not here.
716
00:48:36,980 --> 00:48:39,777
- They're probably stuck in traffic.
- Both of them?
717
00:48:46,054 --> 00:48:51,013
- Hey, it's Carrie. Leave me a message.
- I can't go in without you.
718
00:48:52,659 --> 00:48:54,251
Baby...
719
00:48:55,762 --> 00:49:00,663
...this whole bride-and-groom thing
has really got me thrown.
720
00:49:05,302 --> 00:49:08,135
I need to know that it's still us.
721
00:49:08,305 --> 00:49:12,297
Just you and me. Like you said.
722
00:49:17,577 --> 00:49:19,374
CARRIE: I was putting it on.
CHARLOTTE: I know.
723
00:49:19,546 --> 00:49:20,911
Good job. Beautiful.
724
00:49:22,281 --> 00:49:25,512
Come on, baby.
Turn around, let me see you.
725
00:49:28,219 --> 00:49:30,880
MIRANDA:
You look so beautiful.
726
00:49:38,094 --> 00:49:39,856
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
727
00:49:40,028 --> 00:49:41,188
MIRANDA:
It looks beautiful.
728
00:49:41,363 --> 00:49:43,227
CHARLOTTE:
It really does. It looks so beautiful.
729
00:49:44,265 --> 00:49:45,789
Oh, look at mommy, here they come.
730
00:49:45,967 --> 00:49:47,228
SAMANTHA: Easy does it.
MIRANDA: We're here.
731
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:50,494
The traffic was the worst.
57th Street was just...
732
00:49:50,670 --> 00:49:54,537
- It's okay.
CHARLOTTE: Hello. You guys look great.
733
00:49:57,976 --> 00:50:00,603
SAMANTHA:
Ready. We're ready.
734
00:50:02,145 --> 00:50:03,908
He's not here.
735
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,209
- Who's not here?
- The groom.
736
00:50:06,983 --> 00:50:08,007
What's happening?
737
00:50:09,684 --> 00:50:13,813
- Big's not here.
- But we're 25 minutes late.
738
00:50:13,988 --> 00:50:16,115
Well, did anybody call him?
739
00:50:19,359 --> 00:50:22,850
Well, give me a phone.
Somebody give me a phone.
740
00:50:27,031 --> 00:50:29,965
- All right, I don't know how to work this.
- Here, sweetie.
741
00:50:30,133 --> 00:50:31,691
Thank you.
742
00:50:42,276 --> 00:50:45,938
MIRANDA: Hey, you know what?
Let me just look at your tie for a minute.
743
00:50:46,146 --> 00:50:47,976
BIG: Hello.
- Are you okay?
744
00:50:48,147 --> 00:50:49,546
I've been calling for an hour.
745
00:50:49,715 --> 00:50:53,206
- Why haven't you been answering?
- Because I don't know where my phone is.
746
00:50:54,686 --> 00:50:56,448
So, what's going on? Where are you?
747
00:50:56,887 --> 00:51:00,117
I was out front. I just left.
748
00:51:03,792 --> 00:51:05,419
I can't do this.
749
00:51:10,664 --> 00:51:12,426
Oh, my God.
750
00:51:16,935 --> 00:51:19,130
Carrie? Carrie.
751
00:51:22,407 --> 00:51:26,399
- He's not coming. Oh, my God.
- What do you mean, "He's not coming"?
752
00:51:29,345 --> 00:51:31,245
Get me out of here.
753
00:51:31,414 --> 00:51:32,972
- Get me out of here!
- Go, go, go.
754
00:51:33,149 --> 00:51:36,276
- You take her, I'll take care of all of this.
MIRANDA: All right, all right.
755
00:51:36,451 --> 00:51:37,883
Here we go.
756
00:51:59,701 --> 00:52:02,101
What the fuck am I doing?
Turn around, go back.
757
00:52:02,271 --> 00:52:03,794
It's a one-way street.
758
00:52:03,971 --> 00:52:06,599
By the time we go around the block,
she'll be gone.
759
00:52:06,774 --> 00:52:09,071
There's no one behind us. Turn around.
760
00:52:16,781 --> 00:52:19,773
- I think this is them.
- Pull over. Pull over.
761
00:52:21,218 --> 00:52:22,776
Carrie.
762
00:52:29,925 --> 00:52:33,883
Carrie. I freaked out for a minute,
but I'm ready now.
763
00:52:36,230 --> 00:52:38,254
BIG:
Oh, God.
764
00:52:40,467 --> 00:52:43,765
CARRIE: I knew
you would do this! I knew it!
765
00:52:43,936 --> 00:52:46,904
- Carrie, I'm sorry.
- I am humiliated!
766
00:52:47,071 --> 00:52:49,665
I'm sorry. I'm... I'm sorry, Carrie.
767
00:52:49,841 --> 00:52:50,932
Come on. Come on.
768
00:52:51,108 --> 00:52:52,132
[CARRIE SOBBING]
769
00:52:52,309 --> 00:52:56,074
- Carrie, wait, I'm sorry. Carrie...
- No! No!
770
00:52:57,379 --> 00:52:59,107
CHARLOTTE:
Come on, we're gonna get in the car.
771
00:53:00,014 --> 00:53:02,346
MIRANDA:
It's all right, it's all right.
772
00:53:22,499 --> 00:53:23,988
[HORN HONKING]
773
00:53:24,166 --> 00:53:25,690
Let's go, man. Move it.
774
00:53:54,623 --> 00:53:57,649
I thought I would still be in extreme pain.
775
00:54:00,861 --> 00:54:02,828
I feel nothing.
776
00:54:05,598 --> 00:54:07,929
I'd like some more nothing.
777
00:54:13,905 --> 00:54:15,599
Yes, I'm still jilted.
778
00:54:17,574 --> 00:54:20,974
What the hell got into him?
He was perfectly fine at the dinner.
779
00:54:22,044 --> 00:54:24,534
CARRIE:
I knew it when he called last night.
780
00:54:25,079 --> 00:54:27,979
- I could tell.
- Then why didn't you say anything?
781
00:54:30,083 --> 00:54:32,915
I didn't wanna believe it. I di...
782
00:54:33,085 --> 00:54:36,315
I didn't even wanna say it out loud.
783
00:54:38,857 --> 00:54:41,950
- Now I have nowhere to live.
- You'll stay here.
784
00:54:42,126 --> 00:54:43,388
Forever.
785
00:54:44,495 --> 00:54:47,019
Maybe you should eat something.
786
00:54:48,198 --> 00:54:50,495
- Anyone? Hungry?
- No.
787
00:54:52,401 --> 00:54:55,563
I can never go back there again.
How am I gonna get my clothes?
788
00:54:55,736 --> 00:54:59,899
Oh, honey, I can hire people to do all that.
Anything you need.
789
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:01,833
A hit man?
790
00:55:03,842 --> 00:55:06,708
I have nothing to wear
but a wedding gown.
791
00:55:07,478 --> 00:55:10,140
You have your honeymoon clothes here.
792
00:55:11,315 --> 00:55:13,647
Well, there's the silver lining.
793
00:55:15,551 --> 00:55:19,680
A honeymoon
at a romantic Mexican resort...
794
00:55:19,854 --> 00:55:21,788
...that's prepaid on my credit card...
795
00:55:21,957 --> 00:55:24,424
...because I wanted to surprise
the man who jilted me.
796
00:55:24,592 --> 00:55:26,253
SAMANTHA:
I can get you out of that.
797
00:55:26,427 --> 00:55:29,327
Worse comes to worse,
I'll say there was a death or something.
798
00:55:29,495 --> 00:55:31,224
Wasn't there?
799
00:55:34,900 --> 00:55:38,357
CHARLOTTE: Keep those eyes closed.
Keep them closed.
800
00:55:52,846 --> 00:55:53,972
Charlotte.
801
00:55:54,147 --> 00:55:55,944
[MOUTHS]
Come here. Come here.
802
00:55:58,985 --> 00:56:01,782
I did something really bad, I think.
803
00:56:02,487 --> 00:56:05,320
I said something to Big
at the rehearsal dinner.
804
00:56:06,857 --> 00:56:08,017
What do you mean?
805
00:56:08,192 --> 00:56:11,683
It was right after Steve showed up.
I was upset.
806
00:56:11,861 --> 00:56:15,591
Big came over to me,
and I said something like:
807
00:56:16,431 --> 00:56:18,489
"You're crazy to get married."
808
00:56:19,300 --> 00:56:21,200
It just came out.
809
00:56:21,369 --> 00:56:25,327
- Do you think it's totally the reason?
- No.
810
00:56:25,505 --> 00:56:28,496
Big has been weird
about marriage for years.
811
00:56:30,676 --> 00:56:34,167
- I keep thinking I should tell Carrie.
- No, no, no.
812
00:56:34,345 --> 00:56:37,643
This is a bad time to even mention it.
813
00:56:38,715 --> 00:56:43,447
No, no, no. Find another time later.
814
00:56:43,619 --> 00:56:44,607
Uh-huh.
815
00:56:44,786 --> 00:56:48,721
Well, it turns out, I couldn't get her
out of the honeymoon, but I got us in.
816
00:56:49,323 --> 00:56:52,621
- What?
- I just booked us three seats on the flight.
817
00:56:52,792 --> 00:56:55,488
Mexico, here we come.
818
00:56:55,862 --> 00:56:58,694
I can't go to Mexico. I have a job.
819
00:57:06,903 --> 00:57:09,894
SAMANTHA:
Jerrod. Smith Jerrod, with a J.
820
00:57:10,072 --> 00:57:13,939
That's right. Great, thank you.
821
00:57:15,276 --> 00:57:19,234
- Make sure that the car is there...
- We're here, I'll call you back later.
822
00:57:22,315 --> 00:57:23,339
Welcome to Mexico.
823
00:57:23,716 --> 00:57:25,911
[SAMANTHA SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
824
00:57:28,987 --> 00:57:30,545
Do you have wi-fi? Thanks.
825
00:57:34,291 --> 00:57:37,521
I'm sorry, I'm confused.
I'm waiting for a Mr. and Mrs. Preston.
826
00:57:37,694 --> 00:57:41,857
Honey, you'll be waiting a long time.
We'll talk.
827
00:57:48,301 --> 00:57:51,202
This will kill her.
828
00:57:53,138 --> 00:57:55,197
- Where is she?
- In the powder room.
829
00:57:55,374 --> 00:57:58,103
- Well, let's look around.
- Yeah.
830
00:58:28,332 --> 00:58:30,822
And this is a master suite.
831
00:58:32,235 --> 00:58:34,169
Oh, my God.
832
00:58:34,870 --> 00:58:36,531
Here.
833
00:58:36,705 --> 00:58:38,536
MIRANDA:
You get that side.
834
00:58:40,375 --> 00:58:42,536
CHARLOTTE:
Where are we gonna put these?
835
00:58:43,443 --> 00:58:47,503
Here. No more honeymoon stuff.
This is very important.
836
00:58:53,852 --> 00:58:55,615
Here she comes.
837
00:59:08,896 --> 00:59:10,625
It's going to be a gorgeous sunset.
838
00:59:12,832 --> 00:59:14,094
Close the shutters.
839
00:59:21,272 --> 00:59:22,534
All of them.
840
00:59:43,723 --> 00:59:45,350
Morning.
841
00:59:47,726 --> 00:59:49,216
Did I dream it?
842
01:00:03,172 --> 01:00:04,968
CHARLOTTE:
Carrie?
843
01:00:05,907 --> 01:00:08,534
It's dinnertime. You slept the whole day.
844
01:00:09,676 --> 01:00:11,303
So?
845
01:00:20,717 --> 01:00:22,981
[CLATTERING]
846
01:00:24,321 --> 01:00:28,757
Honey? You have to eat a little breakfast.
847
01:00:30,792 --> 01:00:31,952
I'm tired.
848
01:00:32,127 --> 01:00:35,562
Well, eat something,
then you can go back to sleep.
849
01:01:10,189 --> 01:01:12,520
- Oh, thank you, Paulo.
- Sure.
850
01:01:15,727 --> 01:01:20,594
With all this gorgeous fresh food, you're
gonna eat that pudding crap the entire trip?
851
01:01:20,763 --> 01:01:23,323
It's the only thing in the pantry
that's totally safe.
852
01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:27,265
See? "Made in Poughkeepsie."
I didn't wanna chance it.
853
01:01:27,436 --> 01:01:29,198
It's a five-star resort.
854
01:01:29,570 --> 01:01:31,561
It's Mexico.
855
01:01:40,045 --> 01:01:41,273
Carrie.
856
01:01:43,882 --> 01:01:44,974
Is there coffee?
857
01:01:46,049 --> 01:01:48,779
CHARLOTTE:
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
858
01:01:55,891 --> 01:01:58,291
The sun feels nice.
859
01:02:02,129 --> 01:02:04,255
Jesus, honey, wax much?
860
01:02:04,631 --> 01:02:07,599
What? I didn't know
I was gonna be wearing a bathing suit.
861
01:02:07,966 --> 01:02:10,730
- What are you talking about?
- I forgot to wax.
862
01:02:10,903 --> 01:02:14,668
- Since when, 1998?
MIRANDA: I've had other things on my mind.
863
01:02:14,839 --> 01:02:17,432
I could be on death row
and not have that situation.
864
01:02:17,607 --> 01:02:20,700
Well, when you're married,
you have a different set of priorities.
865
01:02:20,876 --> 01:02:22,468
SAMANTHA:
Oh, honey, don't blame marriage.
866
01:02:22,645 --> 01:02:25,511
This one's married and
she's not growing a national forest.
867
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:29,581
How do you even cross your legs?
Let me make you a spa appointment.
868
01:02:29,750 --> 01:02:32,344
Any thicker,
and you won't be able to find it.
869
01:02:34,687 --> 01:02:36,655
So, what, it's my fault?
870
01:02:36,821 --> 01:02:39,949
I let the sex go out of my marriage.
I deserve what I got?
871
01:02:40,125 --> 01:02:43,821
- Thanks for understanding.
- Honey, I'm sorry. That's not what I...
872
01:02:43,994 --> 01:02:45,620
I'm fine.
873
01:02:56,938 --> 01:02:59,565
Hey, let's go down to the hotel
for dinner tonight.
874
01:02:59,739 --> 01:03:01,502
- Really?
- Yeah.
875
01:03:01,675 --> 01:03:04,370
I gotta do something
to pull me out of my "Mexi-coma."
876
01:03:04,543 --> 01:03:07,136
Oh, honey, you made a little joke.
877
01:03:07,312 --> 01:03:09,246
Good for you.
878
01:03:10,081 --> 01:03:11,445
Yeah.
879
01:03:23,425 --> 01:03:25,858
[MARIACHI BAND PLAYING]
880
01:03:26,026 --> 01:03:27,425
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
881
01:03:27,595 --> 01:03:31,724
- My name is Felix, I'll be your server.
- Felix, we'll start with cuatro margaritas.
882
01:03:31,898 --> 01:03:34,127
Oh, no, I'm not drinking.
Just bottled water.
883
01:03:34,299 --> 01:03:36,528
- I'll drink hers.
- May I have your room numbers?
884
01:03:37,969 --> 01:03:41,904
We're staying in one of the private houses.
Uh, number 3.
885
01:03:42,505 --> 01:03:43,665
Very good, Mrs. Preston.
886
01:03:48,510 --> 01:03:50,170
That was like taking a bullet.
887
01:03:55,415 --> 01:03:58,178
Charlotte has pudding in her Prada.
888
01:04:04,522 --> 01:04:06,989
- Will I ever laugh again?
- Yes.
889
01:04:07,157 --> 01:04:10,853
- When?
- When something is really, really funny.
890
01:04:13,830 --> 01:04:17,629
Thank God for that mariachi band
or I'd be able to hear my own thoughts.
891
01:04:19,166 --> 01:04:21,566
Fabulous. And keep them coming.
892
01:04:23,203 --> 01:04:24,568
Thanks.
893
01:04:30,309 --> 01:04:31,741
Thank you.
894
01:04:37,781 --> 01:04:40,510
He couldn't get out of the car.
895
01:04:40,983 --> 01:04:44,418
After 10 years
of what he already put me through...
896
01:04:44,586 --> 01:04:48,749
...he couldn't make the effort
and get out of the car.
897
01:04:49,056 --> 01:04:50,887
I made the effort.
898
01:04:51,058 --> 01:04:52,854
I put a bird on my head.
899
01:04:53,026 --> 01:04:54,550
- Is that what that was?
- Yeah.
900
01:04:54,727 --> 01:04:57,251
- I thought it was feathers.
- It was a bird.
901
01:04:57,429 --> 01:05:00,762
- It was beautiful.
SAMANTHA: Beautiful.
902
01:05:01,166 --> 01:05:03,292
He's a bad guy.
903
01:05:04,368 --> 01:05:06,562
Always was.
904
01:05:06,736 --> 01:05:10,637
- Bad guys do bad things.
- And good guys do bad things.
905
01:05:10,806 --> 01:05:13,741
The good guys screw you
and the bad guys screw you.
906
01:05:13,909 --> 01:05:16,044
The rest of them
don't know how to screw you.
907
01:05:16,144 --> 01:05:17,920
- Trust me, I've done the legwork.
CARRIE: After everything I know...
908
01:05:19,475 --> 01:05:22,334
The good guys screw you
and the bad guys screw you.
909
01:05:22,498 --> 01:05:24,577
The rest of them
don't know how to screw you.
910
01:05:24,675 --> 01:05:26,016
- Trust me, I've done the legwork.
CARRIE: After everything I know...
911
01:05:27,654 --> 01:05:32,048
...after 20 years of
everything we've learned...
912
01:05:32,216 --> 01:05:36,108
...I threw it all away for the thrill of
putting his name on the honeymoon suite.
913
01:05:37,575 --> 01:05:39,835
If I met me now, I wouldn't know me.
914
01:05:41,304 --> 01:05:43,766
As long as we're going down this road...
915
01:05:43,934 --> 01:05:48,384
...I can't believe
that my life revolves around a man.
916
01:05:48,562 --> 01:05:50,889
On what planet
did I allow that to happen?
917
01:05:51,060 --> 01:05:52,116
But you love him.
918
01:05:52,291 --> 01:05:55,980
Does that mean saying his name
50 times more a day than I say my own?
919
01:05:56,720 --> 01:06:00,546
Does it mean worrying about him
and his needs before me and mine?
920
01:06:00,715 --> 01:06:03,076
Is it all about the other person?
Is that love?
921
01:06:03,245 --> 01:06:06,605
- No, that's marriage.
- Even this ring.
922
01:06:06,775 --> 01:06:08,261
I wanted to buy this for myself.
923
01:06:08,438 --> 01:06:10,698
That meant something to me,
to be able to do that.
924
01:06:10,869 --> 01:06:14,457
- And then he buys it for me.
- Because he knew how much you loved it.
925
01:06:14,632 --> 01:06:18,558
Yes, but now every time I look down at it,
I see him not me.
926
01:06:20,891 --> 01:06:23,410
- Is every...?
- We'll take another round.
927
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:26,740
- Another?
- Relax. We're on vacation.
928
01:06:26,917 --> 01:06:28,677
Technically, we're on my honeymoon.
929
01:06:28,848 --> 01:06:31,743
No, I think we're on their honeymoon.
930
01:06:33,276 --> 01:06:35,671
Yeah, it's all so hot three days in.
931
01:06:42,865 --> 01:06:46,309
"Mailbox full." Yeah, I'll bet it is.
932
01:06:46,484 --> 01:06:48,750
- There's no time like the present.
CARRIE: No.
933
01:06:49,642 --> 01:06:51,449
I'm not ready to face it all yet.
934
01:06:52,175 --> 01:06:55,363
Hey. I'm going for a run
and then to the gym for Pilates.
935
01:06:55,533 --> 01:06:57,530
Anybody wanna...?
936
01:06:58,790 --> 01:07:01,022
- Hi.
- Hey, good news.
937
01:07:01,191 --> 01:07:03,222
I got an e-mail
from your buyer's attorney.
938
01:07:03,395 --> 01:07:06,941
They're willing to sell you back
your old apartment at the escalated price...
939
01:07:07,115 --> 01:07:09,941
...and "are willing to vacate
by the time you return...
940
01:07:10,108 --> 01:07:12,105
...pending an additional financial offer."
941
01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:15,892
Well, apparently you can go home again,
but it'll cost you.
942
01:07:16,063 --> 01:07:18,721
- Let's work on getting your things there.
CARRIE: Wow...
943
01:07:19,124 --> 01:07:21,749
...you two could rule the world.
944
01:07:22,448 --> 01:07:24,937
After her workout,
Charlotte couldn't help but think...
945
01:07:25,111 --> 01:07:26,985
... how truly blessed she was.
946
01:07:27,152 --> 01:07:30,831
This week had made her feel more grateful
than ever for her happy marriage.
947
01:07:31,002 --> 01:07:35,242
And just for a second, while picturing
her loved ones at home in New York...
948
01:07:35,411 --> 01:07:39,551
... she forgot where she was
and opened her mouth.
949
01:07:47,157 --> 01:07:49,782
[STOMACH GRUMBLING]
950
01:08:03,011 --> 01:08:04,018
Hello, miss.
951
01:08:08,127 --> 01:08:10,285
- Have you had that happen?
CARRIE: Not recently.
952
01:08:10,456 --> 01:08:12,155
Sweetie, what's...?
953
01:08:12,325 --> 01:08:14,192
It's locked, she's mopping.
954
01:08:14,358 --> 01:08:15,922
Try the...
955
01:08:16,096 --> 01:08:18,948
[GRUMBLING CONTINUES]
956
01:08:21,835 --> 01:08:23,601
[SQUISHING]
957
01:08:24,654 --> 01:08:27,013
- Did you just...?
- Shut up, shut up, shut up!
958
01:08:27,180 --> 01:08:29,138
And just like that...
959
01:08:29,311 --> 01:08:31,336
... Charlotte "Poughkeepsied"
in her pants.
960
01:08:31,510 --> 01:08:33,342
[LAUGHING]
961
01:08:33,509 --> 01:08:36,976
Oh, my God.
962
01:08:40,428 --> 01:08:41,738
Miranda was right.
963
01:08:41,904 --> 01:08:46,690
When something was really,
really funny, I laughed.
964
01:08:47,709 --> 01:08:49,610
Oh, my God.
965
01:09:13,978 --> 01:09:15,319
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
First message:
966
01:09:15,486 --> 01:09:20,495
Received Saturday,
September 20th, 12:30 p.m.
967
01:09:20,667 --> 01:09:24,045
BIG [ON RECORDING]: Carrie, call me.
I need to talk to you before...
968
01:10:17,332 --> 01:10:21,105
There was no better time I could think of
to hire an assistant.
969
01:10:21,269 --> 01:10:24,642
Um, no. I do not lift boxes.
970
01:10:25,630 --> 01:10:29,758
Yeah, definitely, no.
I would love a career in fashion.
971
01:10:29,925 --> 01:10:31,845
Oh.
972
01:10:32,855 --> 01:10:34,674
This is not nonfat.
973
01:10:35,001 --> 01:10:36,399
Oh.
974
01:10:36,564 --> 01:10:40,492
I love your books. Your shit's brilliant.
975
01:10:40,664 --> 01:10:42,216
Cathy?
976
01:10:43,203 --> 01:10:45,831
- You seem drunk.
- Little bit.
977
01:10:46,002 --> 01:10:47,787
Never made it to bed last night.
978
01:10:47,954 --> 01:10:50,262
But I type like a motherfucker!
979
01:10:50,428 --> 01:10:52,370
I have a degree in finance
from Princeton...
980
01:10:52,542 --> 01:10:55,138
...and I've been assistant to a V.P.
at Merrill Lynch.
981
01:10:55,308 --> 01:11:00,311
That's impressive. And, Paul,
why do you think you're right for this job?
982
01:11:09,942 --> 01:11:14,573
- So you're from St. Louis?
- That's right. Louise from St. Louis.
983
01:11:14,745 --> 01:11:16,631
And you have a degree
in computer science?
984
01:11:16,800 --> 01:11:19,769
- Yes, that's correct.
- Well, good for you. I can barely text.
985
01:11:21,802 --> 01:11:25,472
- Have you ever been a personal assistant?
- No, but I'm the oldest of six kids...
986
01:11:25,643 --> 01:11:27,825
...so I'm sure I can handle
anything you got.
987
01:11:27,997 --> 01:11:30,809
- Wow. Six kids, what's that like?
- Crowded.
988
01:11:31,244 --> 01:11:34,349
I had to move to New York just to
get some room. Where did I end up?
989
01:11:34,525 --> 01:11:37,132
In a one-bedroom apartment
with three roommates.
990
01:11:37,639 --> 01:11:40,778
Well, aside from the space issue,
why'd you move to New York?
991
01:11:42,706 --> 01:11:43,959
To fall in love.
992
01:11:45,490 --> 01:11:48,833
- What? That's corny, right?
- No.
993
01:11:49,001 --> 01:11:52,931
No, no, it's... It's just very honest.
994
01:11:53,971 --> 01:11:58,137
I don't think that I've heard
anybody say that in a very long time.
995
01:11:58,675 --> 01:11:59,997
Well...
996
01:12:01,920 --> 01:12:05,231
So Louise from St. Louis,
I just have one more question.
997
01:12:05,400 --> 01:12:06,417
Okay.
998
01:12:06,627 --> 01:12:08,942
How does an unemployed girl
with three roommates...
999
01:12:09,112 --> 01:12:11,619
...afford the Patchwork Denim Bowley
Louis Vuitton bag?
1000
01:12:11,995 --> 01:12:15,612
It's rented. Bag Borrow or Steal?
It's like Netflix for purses.
1001
01:12:16,282 --> 01:12:19,890
- How can I not know about this?
- Girl, stick with me. I'll hook you up.
1002
01:12:25,590 --> 01:12:28,633
And did she hook me up.
1003
01:12:29,173 --> 01:12:33,144
Hi. This is Louise.
I'm calling for Carrie Bradshaw.
1004
01:12:33,787 --> 01:12:37,825
Yes, she received your invitation,
but she will be unable to attend.
1005
01:12:38,001 --> 01:12:39,618
Thank you.
1006
01:12:43,673 --> 01:12:45,722
LOUISE:
Put that over there.
1007
01:12:46,827 --> 01:12:48,682
After only three days...
1008
01:12:48,852 --> 01:12:53,457
... I began to think of her
as Saint Louise from St. Louis.
1009
01:12:54,194 --> 01:12:56,379
Ain't nothing in there for you.
1010
01:12:57,279 --> 01:13:00,358
And as I moved back
into my old apartment...
1011
01:13:00,534 --> 01:13:03,486
... Miranda searched for a new one,
downtown.
1012
01:13:03,651 --> 01:13:06,605
MIRANDA: You see the Chinese writing?
BRADY: Yeah.
1013
01:13:06,771 --> 01:13:09,984
New York magazine says this is
the new up-and-coming neighborhood.
1014
01:13:10,951 --> 01:13:13,927
- Okay, maybe down that way?
- Maybe you come home.
1015
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:18,014
Look, white guy with a baby.
1016
01:13:18,385 --> 01:13:21,826
Wherever he's going,
that's where we need to be.
1017
01:13:22,601 --> 01:13:24,082
Come on.
1018
01:13:25,123 --> 01:13:29,229
MAGDA: I lived here before.
It used to be all-Ukrainian area.
1019
01:13:29,403 --> 01:13:30,455
Mm-hm.
1020
01:13:30,630 --> 01:13:32,316
A U-Haul.
1021
01:13:33,053 --> 01:13:33,631
Coming or going?
1022
01:13:34,429 --> 01:13:37,265
- Going. Oh, boy. I'm gonna check it out.
- Okay.
1023
01:13:37,426 --> 01:13:38,342
Wait down here, okay?
1024
01:13:38,508 --> 01:13:43,322
And there in old Ukrainia,
Miranda found her new apartment.
1025
01:13:44,904 --> 01:13:47,752
CARRIE: "And there they remained
for the rest of their days...
1026
01:13:47,945 --> 01:13:50,244
...for the birds
were constantly on guard...
1027
01:13:50,450 --> 01:13:54,413
...and the women could not so much
as step one foot out the door.
1028
01:13:54,605 --> 01:13:56,831
And Cinderella and the prince
lived happily ever after."
1029
01:13:57,640 --> 01:14:01,166
You know that this is just a fairy tale,
right, sweetheart?
1030
01:14:01,347 --> 01:14:04,714
I mean, things don't always
happen like this in real life.
1031
01:14:05,393 --> 01:14:09,734
- I just think you should know that now.
- Again.
1032
01:14:10,919 --> 01:14:12,766
And another one bites the dust.
1033
01:14:12,940 --> 01:14:14,949
- Hi.
CARRIE: Hi.
1034
01:14:15,432 --> 01:14:17,421
Mommy's home.
1035
01:14:18,026 --> 01:14:20,452
Thanks for watching Lily
while I went to the doctor.
1036
01:14:20,621 --> 01:14:24,759
- Oh, sure. Everything okay?
- Mm-hm.
1037
01:14:25,475 --> 01:14:29,416
- I'm pregnant.
- How?
1038
01:14:29,586 --> 01:14:34,297
You know how people always say
that when you stop trying, it can happen?
1039
01:14:34,471 --> 01:14:37,838
And my doctor says that she knows
other couples who have adopted...
1040
01:14:38,010 --> 01:14:40,192
...and then they get pregnant.
1041
01:14:40,842 --> 01:14:44,173
- Sweetie.
- Carrie, I'm pregnant.
1042
01:14:45,996 --> 01:14:49,937
I guess in certain houses,
fairy tales do come true.
1043
01:14:50,108 --> 01:14:51,990
[SAMANTHA MOANS]
1044
01:14:52,162 --> 01:14:54,517
SAMANTHA:
Oh, that was really hot.
1045
01:14:55,904 --> 01:15:02,000
- You seem kind of distant.
- Distant? You're still in me.