1
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:57,390
HILLMAN: Mark O'Brien has been going
to UC Berkeley since 1978.

2
00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,935
That's O'Brien in the motorized gurney
heading for class last week.

3
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:03,187
He had polio
when he was six years old.

4
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:06,983
The disease left his body crippled,
but his mind remained sharp and alert.

5
00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:08,901
And since he wanted to be a writer...

6
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:13,406
...Mark O'Brien entered Cal
to major in English and learn his trade.

7
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:20,163
He wrote this poem for us about school
here and about graduation.

8
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,331
MARK:
"Graduation."

9
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,585
Today l hear the crowd's applause

10
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:29,505
Receive congratulations from my friends

11
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:34,135
Today I ask if I've found a place among the rest

12
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:38,181
Who studied, read, wrote

13
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:42,101
And passed the test in cap and gown.

14
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:46,939
Today l hope you see a man upon this stage.

15
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:51,277
Mark O'Brien teaches us that courage
and perseverance overcome obstacles.

16
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,196
With Mark O'Brien at UC Berkeley...

17
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:56,491
...Bill Hillman,
Channel 5 Eyewitness News.

18
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,087
[AlR HlSSlNG]

19
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,819
MARK:
"Breathing."

20
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,530
Look, you

21
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:39,242
This most excellent canopy, the air

22
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,035
Presses down upon me

23
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:44,163
At fifteen pounds per square inch

24
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:48,334
A dense, heavy, blue glowing ocean

25
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:52,088
Teasing me with its nearness and immensity

26
00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:55,633
And all l get is a thin stream of it

27
00:02:55,801 --> 00:03:01,514
A finger's width of the rope that ties me to life

28
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,320
Shit.

29
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:19,532
Okay, just focus.

30
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,118
Scratch with your mind.

31
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,204
Okay, your mind.

32
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,875
Scratch with your mind.

33
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,009
[MEOWS]

34
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,804
Good morning.

35
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,328
[DOOR CLOSES]

36
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,497
JOAN:
Good morning.

37
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,416
You're late.

38
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,259
"Joan."

39
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:24,221
I swear this was one crazy bitch

40
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:27,183
Who'd swing me about enough to scare me

41
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,268
But careful enough so she could say:

42
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,063
"Now what was all the yelling about?

43
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:36,275
You polios are screamers. Always were."

44
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,111
I didn't say a word.

45
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,406
I typed my skinny novel in my head

46
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:45,201
And thought about revenge.

47
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,251
[WATER SPLASHES]

48
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,550
Would you mind if l asked you
a favor?

49
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,595
What, you need help moving furniture?

50
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,684
l need an advance on my pay.

51
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,477
Like, two weeks.

52
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,022
Now, that's not exactly
asking too much, is it?

53
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:18,359
What if you don't last
another two weeks?

54
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:24,573
lt was a real drag that l was no longer
allowed to use my other gurney.

55
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,742
The self-propelled one.

56
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:30,538
lt had caused a couple
of spectacular accidents.

57
00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:35,918
Basically, in spite of all the mirrors,
l couldn't see where l was going.

58
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:42,842
BRENDAN: Mary's fear and apprehension
slowly gave way to pride and purpose.

59
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,136
Elizabeth, pregnant
herself with Saint John...

60
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:48,639
...felt the power of this wondrous woman.

61
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:52,309
lt was Elizabeth, and her absolute faith...

62
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,813
...that gave Mary
the courage she was lacking.

63
00:05:55,981 --> 00:06:00,192
And she gave thanks, saying,
my soul doth magnify the Lord...

64
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:04,530
...and my spirit hath rejoiced
in God, my savior.

65
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:08,576
May the spirit of the Lord be amongst you
and remain with you always.

66
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,327
CROWD:
Amen.

67
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:16,375
MARK: l'm definitely a true believer,
but l believe in a God with a sense of humor.

68
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,794
A wicked sense of humor.

69
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:23,049
One who created me in his own image.

70
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,676
Hello. l don't think we've met.

71
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:26,886
l'm Father Brendan.

72
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,309
l'm Mark O'Brien.

73
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,145
l knew Father Seamus very well.

74
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,898
l'm sorry that he's not here anymore.

75
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,109
As are many others.
l'll do my best to fill his shoes.

76
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,236
You'd like me to hear
your confession?

77
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,654
Yes, l would.

78
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:49,867
l told my attendant to come back
in half an hour. ls that okay?

79
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,745
l'm in no rush.
l can be a bit time-consuming...

80
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,081
...but l'm worth the trouble.

81
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,251
l'm here for you, Mark.

82
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,672
MARK:
Okay.

83
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:09,428
This is not exactly a confession.
l haven't yet done the deed.

84
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,431
l was sort of hoping
to get a quote in advance.

85
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,017
What's on your mind?

86
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:20,231
The most immediate thing on my mind
would be one of my attendants.

87
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,024
Joan.

88
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,901
l'm thinking of getting rid of her.

89
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:27,947
lt's an evil thought, but l can't help it.
ls she dishonest?

90
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,533
Or incompetent?
No. Neither of those.

91
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,284
She looks at me the wrong way.

92
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:36,580
lt's that "You need me
more than l need you" look.

93
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:41,377
l'd like to show her she's wrong
just for the evil satisfaction it will give me.

94
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,505
ls that a sin, Father?

95
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,633
Well, it obviously troubles you.

96
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:53,055
Yeah, it troubles me a lot,
because what if it's really just a power trip?

97
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:56,058
You know? Yeah, me against her?

98
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:59,103
Me against the world?
l really wouldn't worry about that.

99
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:02,398
The question is
whether you like having her around.

100
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:05,484
l can't stand her.
Well, then get rid of her.

101
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,779
lf l were in a position to choose,
l'd find someone nice.

102
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,489
Even if it was a power trip.

103
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,993
Then l have your blessing to fire her?

104
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,953
Unofficially, yes.

105
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,663
That's good enough for me.

106
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,382
Hey! Ha!

107
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,231
MARK:
"Amanda."

108
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,860
Amanda would have been a pretty girl

109
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,822
To touch, to hold, to kiss.

110
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:54,283
Do you have any experience?

111
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,493
No. None at all.

112
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,163
That sounds perfect.

113
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,549
So how long can you stay out?

114
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,177
Three or four hours.
Yeah?

115
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:16,013
Depends on how much fun l'm having.

116
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,599
As she glided through crowds of lives

117
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,227
She couldn't leave me lying there

118
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,645
Dried-out bubble gum

119
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,897
Stuck on the underneath of existence.

120
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:29,235
She took me on a picnic once

121
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,238
With her boyfriend and another couple.

122
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,366
Lust crackled in the air.

123
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,077
And what did the boyfriend think?

124
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,080
That l was in his way?

125
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,419
I'm always in somebody's way, l thought

126
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,756
The sun in my eyes.

127
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,097
And?

128
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,058
And what?

129
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:05,062
And do you touch him?
What do you--? Yeah.

130
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,730
l do everything.

131
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,275
Do you have other questions?

132
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,444
Gross.
What?

133
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,571
What'd you say?

134
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:18,534
Okay, look, no need to be defensive, okay?
l'm not exactly threatened by this guy.

135
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,160
Yeah? Why not?

136
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:23,038
God, he's much more a man
than you are.

137
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,128
So, what does your boyfriend think of me?

138
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,880
He's an asshole.
Doesn't matter what he thinks of you.

139
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:35,301
l'm interested in the opinion
of an asshole.

140
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:39,221
He thinks that you
are some kind of Svengali...

141
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:42,141
...and that you're gonna hypnotize me
into your cult.

142
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,976
He's right.

143
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,147
He says he can already see changes.

144
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,110
MARK:
Her perfect, pale skin...

145
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,488
...her Tudor court face...

146
00:10:56,656 --> 00:11:01,869
...her strong, fleshy legs
Drove me to ecstasies of despair.

147
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,203
Want me to do that?

148
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,663
[MARK MOANS SOFTLY]

149
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:08,417
All l wished for were hands that moved...

150
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:11,003
...just to touch her.

151
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,339
That would have been enough.

152
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:19,511
So with a gentle, fearless heart she took me in.

153
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,222
l thrived in her garden...

154
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,600
...and wanted more.

155
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,608
AMANDA:
Okay.

156
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:35,569
Shirts, shirts, shirts.

157
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,321
Oh.

158
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,034
This you must have.

159
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,243
[WHlSPERS lNDlSTlNCTLY]

160
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:46,038
What? What is it?

161
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,791
l love you.

162
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,346
Um....

163
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,396
Did she reciprocate your feelings?

164
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,232
She didn't seem to.

165
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,235
Sometimes people can be very shy
about their emotions.

166
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:20,572
Well, in case
she didn't get it the first time...

167
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:25,327
...l told her again that l was in love
with her and l wanted to marry her.

168
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:28,080
Thinking it might swing things.
Did it?

169
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,581
Yeah.

170
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,417
She left.

171
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:42,553
Amanda could have been a pretty girl...

172
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:47,266
...to touch, to hold, to take to bed.

173
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,229
l wish l knew what to say to you.

174
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:53,981
Welcome to the human race.

175
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:56,942
Every day, somebody breaks
somebody else's heart.

176
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,737
And as l said, l'm here for you.

177
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:03,699
l just wish l had something
more useful to offer.

178
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,452
All l have are these vague ideas
about life and death...

179
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,704
...that we priests are equipped with.

180
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,957
Have you considered
sharing your feelings with a therapist?

181
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,459
Not really.

182
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,587
Father?
Yeah?

183
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,715
l think l need a hug.

184
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,468
A hug?

185
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,136
Yeah.

186
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:28,849
BRENDAN:
There you go.

187
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,401
[GATE OPENS]

188
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,947
Hi. Vera?
Yes.

189
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:45,657
Oh, hi, l'm Rod.
Hi.

190
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,952
l-- l usually do 4 to midnights...

191
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,872
...but we could switch if necessary.

192
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,462
[AlR HlSSlNG]

193
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,843
Have you had any experience?

194
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,803
Some.

195
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,680
[PHONE RlNGlNG]

196
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,352
Would you get that, please?

197
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,398
[VERA CLEARS THROAT]

198
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,859
Hello.

199
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,865
lt's Sandy from Pacific News Service.

200
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:31,703
Could you press that button
and put it on speakerphone, please?

201
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,039
[PRESSES BUTTON]

202
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,126
Hi, Sandy.
SANDY: Hi, Mark. How you doing?

203
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,836
l'm good.

204
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,839
l have a new attendant.
She answered the phone.

205
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:46,385
Her name's Vera.
Welcome, Vera.

206
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:50,556
Thank you.
Mark, we're doing a series of articles...

207
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,391
...that I think might interest you.

208
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,060
The subject is sex and the disabled.

209
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:58,689
lt would involve interviewing people
in the Berkeley area.

210
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,232
But why now?

211
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,484
Because we've got the money now.

212
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:06,029
But if you're working on something else,
then we can talk about it later.

213
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,952
No.

214
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,787
Now is fine.

215
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,497
Great.

216
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:21,044
MARK:
There was no escaping it.

217
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:25,591
A door had opened that l could not close.

218
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:32,014
And in invisible writing,
it said, "Do not enter."

219
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,765
[RlNGS DOORBELL]

220
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,230
CARMEN: Most positions like that one
are pretty much impossible.

221
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:43,775
l don't know if you can quite visualize it,
but it's called a lateral...

222
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,570
...or a sideways reverse cowgirl.

223
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:51,742
lt's okay. lt's just a question of depth
of penetration for most people.

224
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:55,078
Like my partner, for instance.
lt doesn't really matter to me.

225
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,789
l mean, l get just as excited
when he licks my nipples.

226
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,458
When he bothers to do that.

227
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,085
[TAPE RECORDER CLlCKS]

228
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:05,589
l think your tape's run out.

229
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,758
Oh.
Oh.

230
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,642
Do you want to continue?

231
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:18,727
Uh....

232
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,937
MARK:
That's okay, Carmen.

233
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,982
l think l've actually got enough to work on.

234
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,735
Thanks.
Well, give me a call if you need anything.

235
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:31,114
Let me get you Greg's number. He's full
of things you wouldn't believe were possible.

236
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:33,325
Oral sex is a matter of taste.

237
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,911
And one thing that really works
in my favor...

238
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,954
...is that l smoke so much weed...

239
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,457
...that my taste buds are pretty jaded.

240
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:43,752
This gives me a great deal of stamina
in the tongue department.

241
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,838
And stamina is key in cunnilingus.

242
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,220
[MEOWS]

243
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:58,016
Who are these people?

244
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:03,689
l feel like an anthropologist
interviewing a tribe of headhunters.

245
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,150
[BELL TOLLlNG]

246
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:09,528
Hi.

247
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:12,739
lt's good to see you. How are things?

248
00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:15,575
Well....
Sorry.

249
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:19,121
Things are a little confusing
at the moment.

250
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:24,042
l would appreciate your advice as a friend,
if you know what l mean.

251
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,546
Sure. And l understand what you mean.

252
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:33,385
You remember at one point
you suggested l might see a therapist?

253
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,220
Yes.
Well...

254
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:40,726
...one way or another, it's a long story,
l ended up seeing a therapist.

255
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:45,188
A particular sort of therapist.

256
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,149
A sex therapist.

257
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,984
[PHONE RlNGS]

258
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,487
WOMAN: Good morning, UC Berkeley.
May l please speak to someone...

259
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:56,408
...in the Center for Sexuality
and Disability, please?

260
00:17:56,743 --> 00:18:01,663
l'm sorry, sir. The Center for Sexuality
and Disability has been shut down.

261
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,417
Thank God.
Sir?

262
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,461
l'm sorry to have bothered you.

263
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,463
lt's no bother.

264
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:12,257
Oh, sir, before you go,
I can give you a phone number...

265
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,843
...for one of the therapists
who used to work there.

266
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,553
Would you like that?

267
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,680
MARK: lt's not gonna fit.
MAN: lt's fine.

268
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:22,225
We got you. Everything's just fine.
MARK: l don't like this. Let's forget it.

269
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,186
Do you want to see this woman or not?
No!

270
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,562
Oops. Too late.
What floor?

271
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,773
Eighteenth floor.
Oh....

272
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,775
So...

273
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,069
...what sort of chance
do you give me?

274
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,280
Of achieving your romantic fantasy?

275
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:36,782
Very small to minute.

276
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,911
Oh, look, you don't have to pull any
punches. You can be direct with me.

277
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,538
Mark, l'm just a humble sex therapist.

278
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:47,209
l try to help people with sex problems
that can be addressed.

279
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:50,212
Your problem, l understand,
is that you've never had sex.

280
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:52,881
That's correct.

281
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,801
Would l be correct in assuming
you're unable to masturbate?

282
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,094
Correct.
Has anyone done it for you?

283
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,639
No.
Have you ever asked anyone?

284
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,307
Not specifically.

285
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:06,478
l asked someone to marry me once.
She declined.

286
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,480
Does that come close to masturbation?

287
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:13,360
You know,
being with the person you love...

288
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:16,571
...is not the only way
of expressing yourself sexually.

289
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:19,825
There are people called sex surrogates.
Oh?

290
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,495
My penis speaks to me, Father Brendan.

291
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:28,750
Sometimes l ejaculate during
a bed bath in front of my attendants.

292
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:34,005
All l feel is shame and mortification
while other men apparently get pleasure. l....

293
00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,591
l'm sorry if l sound angry.

294
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,802
Don't worry about it. Go on.

295
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,187
This therapist...

296
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:53,775
...suggested l could work
with a sexual specialist.

297
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:56,862
Have sex with a person
known as a sex surrogate...

298
00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:00,657
...who would be sensitive
to my unusual needs.

299
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:04,244
l've been giving it some thought.
Hold-- Hold on.

300
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,706
What do you mean, "have sex"?
Well, when a man and a woman...

301
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:11,084
...love each other very much--
No, l understand what it....

302
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,712
Are we talking about sexual intercourse?

303
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,299
l think so.
Outside marriage?

304
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:20,719
l did do my best
on the question of marriage.

305
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,891
What's the difference
between this sexual specialist...

306
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,559
...and a common prostitute?

307
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:31,396
l don't know,
but l think there's a difference.

308
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,865
How old are you?
Thirty-eight.

309
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:43,325
Why exactly now?

310
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:47,621
l never had any cash before,
that's a major factor.

311
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,583
And l'm probably getting close
to my use-by date.

312
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:02,552
And this is what you wanted
my advice on? Fornication.

313
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,055
Your advice as a friend.

314
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:09,100
Do l have the deciding vote, so to speak?

315
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,938
Well, let's just say l value your advice
just as much as l do the therapist's.

316
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,359
You're serious about this?

317
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:20,153
l think sex is a serious matter.

318
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,781
lt's one of the most persistent themes
in the Bible.

319
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,866
So...

320
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:29,621
...is it possible for me
to know a woman...

321
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,916
...in the Biblical sense, so to speak?

322
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,044
And....

323
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:39,422
And do l want to find out?

324
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,551
You want my opinion?

325
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,261
Please.

326
00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:01,820
ln my heart, l feel like he'll give you
a free pass on this one.

327
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,826
Go for it.
Huh?

328
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,160
Go for it.

329
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,121
Really?
Yes.

330
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:13,623
lf you feel up to it. Do you feel up to it?

331
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,959
To tell you the truth...

332
00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:17,794
...l'm scared.

333
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:19,254
Well, then, we should pray.

334
00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:29,597
Sweet Jesus...

335
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:33,018
...Mark and l sit at your feet...

336
00:22:33,728 --> 00:22:36,438
...and pray that you bless
this little journey.

337
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:40,191
This one small step for a man.

338
00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:43,361
l really feel proud of myself.

339
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:47,907
lmposing on someone l hardly know
to fornicate in their home.

340
00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:49,200
Get over it.

341
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,494
lt's perfectly normal.

342
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:56,374
Ta-da!
Wow.

343
00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:01,212
There are all sorts of useful things
in that drawer over there...

344
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,131
...if you guys feel like exploring.

345
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:06,009
Oh, that's okay.
l'll bring my own sheets and towels.

346
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,178
No, everything will be provided.

347
00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:11,723
l'm really honored that you asked me.
lt'll be great karma for the house.

348
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:14,392
Great karma for the house?

349
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,770
My God, the pressure already.

350
00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:19,105
l can't stand it.

351
00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:25,070
[PHONE RlNGlNG]

352
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,198
Hey. lt's Tony.

353
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:29,949
LAURA:
Hi. This is Laura White.

354
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:31,910
ls Cheryl in, please?

355
00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:33,953
Cheryl.
CHERYL: What is it?

356
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:35,538
Phone.

357
00:23:35,706 --> 00:23:37,332
She's coming.

358
00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:47,258
l'm not your girlfriend.
When someone calls...

359
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:50,512
...particularly someone you don't know,
you can use the word "Mom."

360
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:53,264
Hello. This is Cheryl.
Hi. lt's Laura.

361
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,642
Haven't heard from you for a while.
How are you?

362
00:23:55,810 --> 00:23:58,394
Pretty well.
Look, I called to ask how you would feel...

363
00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:01,898
...about working
with a severely disabled client.

364
00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:03,108
l'm f--

365
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,276
Can you hold on one second?

366
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:06,611
Hey...

367
00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:08,488
...get a glass.

368
00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:11,658
[PHONE RlNGS]

369
00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:16,871
Hello. Mark O'Brien's phone.

370
00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:21,626
CHERYL: Hi, this is Cheryl Cohen Greene.
May l speak to Mark?

371
00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:31,803
Uh, uh-- Yeah, could you hold a second?

372
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:33,972
What? What am l doing here?
Yes or no?

373
00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:36,724
Come on, make up your mind.

374
00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:40,603
Okay.

375
00:24:42,106 --> 00:24:43,565
Yeah. Go ahead.

376
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:46,651
Hello. This is Mark.

377
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:48,319
Hi, Mark. This is Cheryl.

378
00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:53,241
Laura called to introduce you.
l understand you'd like to meet. ls that right?

379
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,076
Uh....

380
00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,328
Yes.

381
00:24:57,496 --> 00:25:00,832
I could see you on the thirteenth at 1 1 :00.

382
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,625
Would that be any good for you?

383
00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:04,544
Oh. Uh....

384
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:09,674
Yes, l think that would be fine for me.

385
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:11,217
Where are you from?

386
00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:13,303
Boston. You?

387
00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:16,306
Salem. Small world.
Oh.

388
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,476
We'll talk for a while to begin with,
and when you're ready...

389
00:25:20,644 --> 00:25:23,354
...we'll start doing
some body-awareness exercises.

390
00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:29,152
MARK:
Holy Mother of God.

391
00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:35,116
What are body-awareness exercises?

392
00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:51,049
Which one?
Doesn't matter.

393
00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:55,178
Will you stop acting
like you're going to your own execution?

394
00:25:55,346 --> 00:25:56,721
l'm not acting.

395
00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:04,646
Okay, the purple one.

396
00:26:05,481 --> 00:26:07,815
Just try and think about
something else.

397
00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:09,734
Baseball, for example.

398
00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:13,571
That's what they usually tell boys to do.
Baseball.

399
00:26:13,739 --> 00:26:16,115
You mean like
hope l make it to second base?

400
00:26:16,283 --> 00:26:17,867
That's helpful.

401
00:26:18,035 --> 00:26:22,247
Okay. All right. Be like that.
Uh....

402
00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:24,791
[DOORBELL RlNGS]

403
00:26:27,461 --> 00:26:29,671
Maybe she forgot.

404
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:31,798
Yeah, she forgot
or she got the date wrong.

405
00:26:31,966 --> 00:26:33,925
We should-- We should just forget it.

406
00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:35,969
Let's go back. Come on.

407
00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:37,428
She has not forgotten. See?

408
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:38,596
[DOOR OPENS]

409
00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:39,764
CARMEN: Hi.
VERA: Hi.

410
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,266
Come on in.
All right.

411
00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:42,600
Hi.
Hi.

412
00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:48,356
Thank you.

413
00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:00,285
Okay. l'm going.

414
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:03,371
l'll be back around 1 ,
but if you guys are finished early...

415
00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:05,498
...you can just let yourselves out.
Okay.

416
00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:08,042
Have fun.
Thanks. Bye.

417
00:27:08,794 --> 00:27:10,628
Bye.

418
00:27:13,132 --> 00:27:14,632
[VERA SlGHS]

419
00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:17,468
What time is it?

420
00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:22,640
Twelve after 1 1 .
l think there's a strong possibility...

421
00:27:22,808 --> 00:27:25,351
...she's had second thoughts.
Mark.

422
00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:30,106
lf she does arrive, she'd be perfectly
within her rights to turn around and run.

423
00:27:30,607 --> 00:27:31,983
She won't.

424
00:27:49,710 --> 00:27:51,544
[DOORBELL RlNGS]

425
00:28:04,391 --> 00:28:06,309
CHERYL: Hi. l'm Cheryl.
VERA: Hi.

426
00:28:06,477 --> 00:28:08,478
CHERYL: Sorry l'm late.
Oh, no, no, not a problem.

427
00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:11,064
Come on in.
l'm Vera, one of Mark's helpers.

428
00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:12,523
CHERYL:
Nice to meet you.

429
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,692
VERA:
Nice to meet you, too. Just....

430
00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:23,701
Hi, Mark O'Brien.

431
00:28:25,079 --> 00:28:27,121
Hi, Cheryl Cohen Greene.

432
00:28:27,289 --> 00:28:29,040
l'll be back in, say,
two hours?

433
00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:31,709
Yes. Perfect.
Okay.

434
00:28:37,091 --> 00:28:39,634
So....
Your money's on the desk over there.

435
00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:45,723
Yes, it is. Thank you.

436
00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:48,309
That was the wrong way to start off.

437
00:28:48,477 --> 00:28:50,561
lt really was. Shall we start again?

438
00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:52,480
Please. You start.

439
00:28:53,482 --> 00:28:55,650
Although the aim is for us to have sex...

440
00:28:55,818 --> 00:28:58,528
...l'm not a prostitute.
You don't have to pay me up front.

441
00:28:58,695 --> 00:29:01,489
l have nothing against prostitutes,
but there's a difference.

442
00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:04,242
We can talk about that later.
l'm sorry.

443
00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:08,413
The other thing is, there's a limit
to the number of sessions we can have.

444
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:10,915
Did Laura mention that
when you saw her?

445
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:13,668
l'm sorry. l don't remember.

446
00:29:13,836 --> 00:29:17,505
The limit is six, but that gives us
plenty of opportunity to explore.

447
00:29:17,673 --> 00:29:18,923
Six.

448
00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:21,717
So l understand
you're able to have an erection.

449
00:29:22,261 --> 00:29:24,095
Yes, but not by choice.

450
00:29:24,263 --> 00:29:28,599
Do you know how many men there are who
would give anything for a natural erection?

451
00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:32,437
ls this your place?
No, it's a friend's.

452
00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:35,731
The only bedroom furniture
l have at my place is an iron lung.

453
00:29:36,567 --> 00:29:41,404
l've been wondering maybe
about possibly buying a futon...

454
00:29:41,572 --> 00:29:44,907
...you know, in case the need arose.
lt might be worth thinking about.

455
00:29:45,075 --> 00:29:46,784
l've got the space, l think.

456
00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:49,745
lt can be expensive, though, a nice...

457
00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:52,623
Futon, l mean. How much do you think
a good one would cost?

458
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:55,293
Because l never....
Mark, take a deep breath.

459
00:29:56,003 --> 00:29:57,462
Yeah.

460
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:00,631
And let go.

461
00:30:00,883 --> 00:30:02,300
[EXHALES]

462
00:30:03,177 --> 00:30:07,388
Do l seem anxious?
You do a little.

463
00:30:07,556 --> 00:30:09,891
So Laura tells me you're a poet.

464
00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,976
What's it like to be a poet?

465
00:30:12,853 --> 00:30:17,106
lt's a way of living inside your own head,
which is where l spend most of my time.

466
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,567
But not today.

467
00:30:19,735 --> 00:30:22,153
Nice shirt, by the way.

468
00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:23,529
Thank you.

469
00:30:23,697 --> 00:30:26,491
So l'm gonna ask you
some basic questions, okay?

470
00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:29,785
Sure.
Explain to me, so that l really understand...

471
00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:32,413
...exactly what the iron lung is for.

472
00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:34,332
lt keeps me breathing.

473
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:37,752
l can spend a few hours outside of it
with my portable respirator...

474
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,463
...depending on how l feel...

475
00:30:40,631 --> 00:30:43,257
...but l work and sleep in the iron lung.

476
00:30:44,885 --> 00:30:46,636
And how do you feel right now?

477
00:30:46,803 --> 00:30:48,179
Out of my league.

478
00:30:48,347 --> 00:30:49,472
[CHUCKLES]

479
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:53,184
l meant your breathing.
Oh, fine.

480
00:30:53,352 --> 00:30:55,978
ln fact, better than usual.
That's great.

481
00:30:56,146 --> 00:30:57,355
Shall we get undressed?

482
00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:01,025
Sure.

483
00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:10,159
So it's good for me--
Be careful.

484
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:12,578
Did that hurt?

485
00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:14,121
Not yet.

486
00:31:18,335 --> 00:31:20,878
Do you have any areas
of unusual sensitivity?

487
00:31:21,046 --> 00:31:23,548
Any parts of your body
you don't want me to touch?

488
00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:26,384
l have normal sensitivity all over.

489
00:31:26,552 --> 00:31:31,806
l'm not paralyzed exactly.
lt's just my muscles don't work too good.

490
00:31:31,974 --> 00:31:34,892
But you could touch me anywhere.

491
00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:36,894
That's great.

492
00:31:39,189 --> 00:31:40,231
Ow! Ow!

493
00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:43,568
Stop! lt hurts! lt hurts! Holy Mother of God.
What--? What's wrong?

494
00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:45,903
Ahh! My fingers are caught.
lt's okay. lt's okay.

495
00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:49,740
l've got it. l've got you. Don't worry.
Be careful, please.

496
00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:57,081
Mark, l'm gonna be really careful
with you.

497
00:31:57,249 --> 00:32:00,167
l don't want to hurt you or injure you
in any way.

498
00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:05,298
And it's really not sexy when
you yell at me. Okay?

499
00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:08,884
l won't yell at you anymore.

500
00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:12,013
But you'll tell me, calmly...

501
00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:14,223
...the minute something starts to hurt.

502
00:32:14,891 --> 00:32:16,267
Yes.

503
00:32:16,435 --> 00:32:18,102
Okay.

504
00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:20,938
Here we go.

505
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:24,442
Piece of cake. Heh.

506
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,915
Nice shirt.
You already said that.

507
00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:42,543
Did l?

508
00:32:57,309 --> 00:32:58,643
Okay.

509
00:32:59,853 --> 00:33:03,397
l'm gonna slide these down.
Be careful with my feet, okay? My feet.

510
00:33:03,565 --> 00:33:05,191
Be careful.
Hold your breath.

511
00:33:05,359 --> 00:33:06,776
Okay. Whoa. There you go.

512
00:33:06,943 --> 00:33:08,319
Careful. Not so fast.

513
00:33:18,246 --> 00:33:20,373
[WATER RUNNlNG]

514
00:33:33,512 --> 00:33:35,179
You ready?

515
00:33:35,639 --> 00:33:36,931
Whoa.

516
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:40,017
l'm gonna take that as a yes.

517
00:33:41,603 --> 00:33:44,689
So the difference between me
and a prostitute...

518
00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:47,024
...is a prostitute
wants your return business.

519
00:33:47,192 --> 00:33:48,317
l don't.

520
00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:51,195
l'm here to help you
learn about your sexual feelings...

521
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:53,531
...so you can share them
with a future partner.

522
00:33:54,491 --> 00:34:00,329
Mark, l want you to tell me how it feels
each time l touch a different part of your body.

523
00:34:00,497 --> 00:34:03,374
Okay?
You know, whenever l'm naked...

524
00:34:04,167 --> 00:34:06,919
...everyone else in the room
is always dressed.

525
00:34:07,087 --> 00:34:10,172
Now that l'm in bed with
another naked person, it's very confusing.

526
00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:12,133
Why is it confusing?

527
00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:15,803
l'd always expected that God
or my parents would intervene...

528
00:34:15,971 --> 00:34:19,682
...to keep this moment from ever happening.
Not this time.

529
00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:23,310
So if something feels good,
you tell me.

530
00:34:23,478 --> 00:34:26,564
lf something is ticklish or bothers you,
l want you to let me know.

531
00:34:26,732 --> 00:34:29,900
l don't want you to tolerate anything.
Okay.

532
00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:32,695
l'm gonna start with the top
of your head.

533
00:34:38,869 --> 00:34:41,746
You have soft hair.

534
00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:44,749
lt's really nice to touch.

535
00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:48,002
Does it feel good?
lt does.

536
00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:01,515
That feels weird.

537
00:35:02,184 --> 00:35:03,601
Weird good or weird bad?

538
00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:05,686
Just weird.

539
00:35:12,611 --> 00:35:14,236
That's good.

540
00:35:15,155 --> 00:35:18,240
Still good?
Everything good so far except the ear.

541
00:35:19,743 --> 00:35:21,952
Are these the body awareness
exercises?

542
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:26,081
You're very clever to have worked that out.
People tell me l'm very perceptive.

543
00:35:27,834 --> 00:35:29,960
Mark, would you like to see what l feel like?

544
00:35:32,589 --> 00:35:33,964
Sure.

545
00:35:59,574 --> 00:36:03,035
You touch one, you have to touch the other.
lt's sort of a rule.

546
00:36:05,413 --> 00:36:08,165
That's a good rule.
Are you wearing cologne?

547
00:36:08,708 --> 00:36:10,251
Yes.
l like it.

548
00:36:10,418 --> 00:36:13,087
l don't usually like cologne,
but l like that.

549
00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:18,509
So, Mark, l'm gonna move my hand
along your body...

550
00:36:18,969 --> 00:36:22,555
...down to your penis, and if you feel me....
Ooh!

551
00:36:23,723 --> 00:36:24,932
[MOANS]

552
00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:29,019
Oh.
Nice job.

553
00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:32,648
l thought there would be more to it.

554
00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:35,234
Not that it was unpleasant.

555
00:36:35,402 --> 00:36:38,946
After all, l was in bed with a naked woman.

556
00:36:39,114 --> 00:36:42,992
She complimented me on my shirt,
my hair.

557
00:36:43,159 --> 00:36:45,369
She held my penis.

558
00:36:45,871 --> 00:36:49,498
l haven't even seen my penis
for over 30 years.

559
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:52,543
Am l sharing too much, Father?

560
00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:55,129
No, no. l'm used to it.

561
00:37:05,098 --> 00:37:07,892
So next week.

562
00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:10,728
Friday the 20th, same time?

563
00:37:10,896 --> 00:37:12,313
That's good for me.

564
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,690
Next time, we'll start to work
on intercourse.

565
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:21,238
Were you afraid at the thought of seeing me?
Oh, God, l was terrified.

566
00:37:22,365 --> 00:37:25,868
You should be proud of yourself.
You did great. We've made real progress.

567
00:37:26,036 --> 00:37:28,913
Can l ask you something?
Sure. What would you like to ask?

568
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:30,706
Anything, really.

569
00:37:30,874 --> 00:37:33,375
Just tell me something about yourself.

570
00:37:33,543 --> 00:37:36,086
Anything.
Okay.

571
00:37:36,338 --> 00:37:39,840
Um.... l'm a very private person.
l have a private life.

572
00:37:40,008 --> 00:37:43,177
l need you to be aware of that.
But that's about it.

573
00:37:43,345 --> 00:37:44,511
This therapy's about you.

574
00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:47,264
VERA: Hello.
Welcome back.

575
00:37:48,308 --> 00:37:51,268
CHERYL: Perfect timing.
l hope you guys kept the noise down.

576
00:37:55,148 --> 00:37:56,523
See you then.

577
00:37:59,945 --> 00:38:02,446
What was it like?
How do you feel?

578
00:38:02,614 --> 00:38:05,741
Cleansed and victorious.

579
00:38:05,909 --> 00:38:08,410
Doesn't get any better than that.

580
00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:10,287
How about your first time?

581
00:38:10,455 --> 00:38:13,666
Oh, let me think.
What was it like?

582
00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:15,960
lt wasn't all that pleasant.
Oh.

583
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,295
l mean, it was consensual
and everything...

584
00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:21,757
...and l was in love with the guy,
but his dick seemed enormous to me.

585
00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:25,302
l didn't think it would fit.
lt was scary.

586
00:38:25,470 --> 00:38:28,430
He was nice. l guess he couldn't help it.

587
00:38:28,598 --> 00:38:30,975
Was he Chinese?
Are you kidding me?

588
00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:34,103
l only dated white guys in high school.
Why is that?

589
00:38:34,270 --> 00:38:36,397
Stick it to my mom and dad,
l suppose.

590
00:38:36,564 --> 00:38:39,191
Are they happy now
you have a Chinese boyfriend?

591
00:38:39,359 --> 00:38:41,485
They're happy. l'm happy.

592
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:43,570
What's his dick like?

593
00:38:44,406 --> 00:38:45,739
Perfect size.

594
00:38:46,658 --> 00:38:49,118
Why do you call it a dick instead of a penis?

595
00:38:50,036 --> 00:38:51,078
Dick....

596
00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:53,789
Penis sounds like some vegetable
you don't want to eat.

597
00:38:53,957 --> 00:38:56,333
Heh, heh.
Dick sounds like what it is.

598
00:38:58,837 --> 00:39:00,671
The thing is...

599
00:39:01,464 --> 00:39:04,591
...it was all over so damn quickly.

600
00:39:05,844 --> 00:39:08,512
Yeah, tell me about it.

601
00:39:15,937 --> 00:39:17,354
First session.

602
00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:20,399
Mark O'Brien is the oldest
of four children...

603
00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:22,651
...and raised Catholic.

604
00:39:23,028 --> 00:39:25,029
He was extremely nervous.

605
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:29,700
He yelled a lot when l took off his shirt,
but l think more out of fear than pain.

606
00:39:29,868 --> 00:39:34,371
He cannot masturbate, has had
only the occasional kissing experience.

607
00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:39,043
He's capable of achieving an erection easily,
but the unusual curvature of his body...

608
00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:42,337
...could be a serious obstacle to intercourse.

609
00:40:17,707 --> 00:40:21,960
l just started working with this gentleman
who spends almost his entire life...

610
00:40:22,128 --> 00:40:25,422
...trapped in a big metal box.

611
00:40:28,093 --> 00:40:30,052
Did you hear what l said?

612
00:40:32,806 --> 00:40:35,766
Yes. Yes.

613
00:40:36,559 --> 00:40:40,270
And you are a saint.

614
00:40:59,374 --> 00:41:01,875
"Sometimes the head of the penis
may be too large...

615
00:41:02,043 --> 00:41:05,212
...to penetrate the vaginal opening
smoothly...

616
00:41:05,380 --> 00:41:08,966
...in which case the application
of lubricant is recommended...

617
00:41:09,134 --> 00:41:12,511
...to avoid possible...."

618
00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:14,805
Oh, my God.

619
00:41:18,226 --> 00:41:21,728
So, what's on the menu
for today?

620
00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:23,564
We're attempting intercourse.

621
00:41:23,731 --> 00:41:25,858
Heh. The big one.

622
00:41:26,025 --> 00:41:27,818
What do you think of it?

623
00:41:27,986 --> 00:41:29,778
lntercourse.

624
00:41:30,697 --> 00:41:33,323
Overrated but necessary.

625
00:41:33,491 --> 00:41:36,326
Plenty of other ways
of achieving the same result.

626
00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:39,997
Somehow you don't feel like you've done it
until you've gone all the way in.

627
00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:49,840
l want you to look at me this time.

628
00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:54,720
Come on, give it a try. Open your eyes.

629
00:42:00,185 --> 00:42:01,685
Do you like watching me undress?

630
00:42:02,729 --> 00:42:04,313
l do.

631
00:42:07,734 --> 00:42:09,860
So from now on...

632
00:42:10,028 --> 00:42:13,822
...you're gonna start to listen
to signals from your body.

633
00:42:13,990 --> 00:42:16,116
That way, you'll be able
to have some control--

634
00:42:16,284 --> 00:42:17,993
Oh, God! Oh, God.

635
00:42:18,703 --> 00:42:20,329
Damn.

636
00:42:21,915 --> 00:42:23,332
Shit.

637
00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:26,501
l did it again.

638
00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:29,379
This time, l ejaculated on her thigh.

639
00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:34,384
l felt cursed.

640
00:42:35,303 --> 00:42:38,013
That the whole enterprise was cursed.

641
00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:41,308
lt seemed like a totally just punishment.

642
00:42:41,476 --> 00:42:45,270
God wasn't actually denying
my sexuality.

643
00:42:45,438 --> 00:42:47,856
He was just pointing out to me
how useless it was.

644
00:42:50,735 --> 00:42:55,405
lt's amazing to me how often God
is brought into the sex act.

645
00:42:55,823 --> 00:42:57,658
l understand even among nonbelievers...

646
00:42:57,825 --> 00:43:02,246
...the most common expression
of sexual ecstasy is, "Oh, God." Heh.

647
00:43:03,498 --> 00:43:04,915
[CLEARS THROAT]

648
00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:08,043
Okay, l don't want to hear
any more about God cursing you.

649
00:43:08,211 --> 00:43:12,047
l want the credit. lt was
my overpowering beauty that did it.

650
00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:15,759
lt took you by surprise.
Now, where were we?

651
00:43:16,552 --> 00:43:18,428
What do you mean, "Where were we?"

652
00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:20,806
l'm gonna touch you.

653
00:43:21,891 --> 00:43:24,726
l'm touching you.
Okay.

654
00:43:24,894 --> 00:43:28,021
And when we both feel you're aroused...

655
00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:31,400
...like now,
l'm gonna guide you inside me.

656
00:43:31,567 --> 00:43:33,068
ls there anything l need to do?

657
00:43:33,903 --> 00:43:35,445
Just close your eyes...

658
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:39,741
...and feel your body.
That's all you need to do.

659
00:43:46,291 --> 00:43:49,501
lt won't fit. lt's not going to fit.
Mark, it will fit just fine.

660
00:43:49,669 --> 00:43:52,462
No, it's dangerous. lt's too big.
lt's not too big. Relax.

661
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:56,466
No, it won't fit. lt'll hurt. lt's too risky.
Mark, Mark, stop.

662
00:43:56,634 --> 00:43:58,176
Stop.

663
00:43:58,344 --> 00:44:01,805
l promise you nothing bad
will happen.

664
00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:06,101
Let's try again
while you're still hard.

665
00:44:11,649 --> 00:44:14,484
Shit! Shit.

666
00:44:16,112 --> 00:44:18,196
Shit.

667
00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:21,825
l'm really sorry.

668
00:44:21,993 --> 00:44:23,660
Stop being sorry.

669
00:44:23,828 --> 00:44:27,205
And stop reading
those stupid sex manuals.

670
00:44:30,209 --> 00:44:33,337
There's still some time left.
We could talk.

671
00:44:33,838 --> 00:44:37,299
Or you could suck my nipples.
That went well.

672
00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:40,761
Or which would you like to do first?

673
00:44:41,763 --> 00:44:45,974
CHERYL: l believe the root of his anxiety
is his parents and his religion.

674
00:44:46,142 --> 00:44:48,769
He believes he doesn't deserve sex.

675
00:44:48,936 --> 00:44:52,522
He believes he's responsible for his
little sister's death at the age of 7...

676
00:44:52,690 --> 00:44:55,650
...because his mother
was too busy looking after him.

677
00:44:56,486 --> 00:44:59,529
We discussed his fantasies,
which were mostly masochistic.

678
00:44:59,697 --> 00:45:02,657
Again, the idea of being punished.

679
00:45:03,076 --> 00:45:08,580
He's never seen female genitalia before
and seems quite frightened at the thought of it.

680
00:45:09,499 --> 00:45:12,000
My worry now is
that it's never gonna happen.

681
00:45:12,794 --> 00:45:15,879
l'm never gonna have intercourse
with Cheryl or any other woman.

682
00:45:16,047 --> 00:45:19,508
Maybe intercourse
would prove l was an adult.

683
00:45:20,259 --> 00:45:22,844
Maybe l don't want to cross that line.

684
00:45:23,429 --> 00:45:27,766
Maybe this is a bad idea.

685
00:45:29,352 --> 00:45:31,019
Do you want to know what l think?

686
00:45:31,187 --> 00:45:33,063
Please.

687
00:45:33,481 --> 00:45:36,858
Forget the psychobabble.
l grew up on a farm.

688
00:45:37,026 --> 00:45:39,736
Even the animals need a couple of tries
to get it right.

689
00:45:40,571 --> 00:45:43,156
May l suggest
you try to enjoy it more?

690
00:45:43,908 --> 00:45:48,286
Don't worry about the technical stuff.
You're a poet.

691
00:45:48,454 --> 00:45:50,580
Be romantic.

692
00:45:50,748 --> 00:45:53,417
[TRAlN BELL RlNGS]

693
00:45:57,171 --> 00:45:59,673
Uh.... No.

694
00:46:02,009 --> 00:46:04,094
Uh.... Maybe.

695
00:46:08,433 --> 00:46:09,891
Yes. Thanks.

696
00:46:10,059 --> 00:46:11,560
That's good.

697
00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:12,853
All right.

698
00:46:13,020 --> 00:46:14,646
Okay.

699
00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:18,775
You nervous?

700
00:46:18,943 --> 00:46:20,485
A little.

701
00:46:21,070 --> 00:46:24,448
Want a spritz?
Yes, of course l would.

702
00:46:32,206 --> 00:46:34,583
l have a good feeling about today.

703
00:46:34,750 --> 00:46:36,793
A very good feeling.
Good.

704
00:46:36,961 --> 00:46:39,296
l had a feeling
it was never going to happen...

705
00:46:39,464 --> 00:46:42,299
...but l think today's the day.
Can l make a suggestion?

706
00:46:42,467 --> 00:46:44,134
Please.

707
00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:46,511
Stop thinking about it.

708
00:46:48,347 --> 00:46:50,390
Couldn't have wished for nicer weather.

709
00:46:50,558 --> 00:46:53,101
You're not listening, are you?
Stop thinking about it.

710
00:46:53,269 --> 00:46:55,270
Beautiful weather.

711
00:46:57,148 --> 00:47:00,567
[PEOPLE LAUGHlNG AND CHATTERlNG]

712
00:47:03,404 --> 00:47:04,779
[RlNGS DOORBELL]

713
00:47:10,369 --> 00:47:12,078
Oh, my God, Mark.

714
00:47:12,246 --> 00:47:13,872
l'm so sorry.

715
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,499
l forgot.

716
00:47:19,504 --> 00:47:22,005
She was very apologetic.

717
00:47:22,215 --> 00:47:24,508
Look, it may not be exactly
what we had in mind...

718
00:47:24,675 --> 00:47:28,261
...but l noticed a couple of blocks
from here a pretty nice motel.

719
00:47:28,429 --> 00:47:30,680
Might be worth checking out.

720
00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:32,933
Why not?

721
00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:35,101
[SOFT MUSlC
PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS]

722
00:47:43,528 --> 00:47:45,612
[BELL DlNGS]

723
00:47:46,864 --> 00:47:49,366
Do you have anything on the ground floor?

724
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:52,244
l've got a single.
How much?

725
00:47:52,411 --> 00:47:53,537
Thirty-five plus tax.

726
00:47:55,581 --> 00:47:57,958
My boss is the gentleman
in the gurney.

727
00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:00,335
He's supposed to be having
a therapy session.

728
00:48:00,503 --> 00:48:03,046
The facility we normally use
had some scheduling mix-up.

729
00:48:03,214 --> 00:48:06,550
We just need the room for two hours.
Can you do 20 cash?

730
00:48:10,805 --> 00:48:13,223
CLERK: A soda machine around the corner.
MARK: Thanks.

731
00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:17,352
CLERK: And an ice machine if you need it.
MARK: l'm sure it'll come in handy.

732
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:19,688
Thank you so much.

733
00:48:30,408 --> 00:48:32,450
Okay, that's it.

734
00:48:33,286 --> 00:48:36,705
l've got a book to read. l'll be hanging
around reception if you need me.

735
00:48:36,872 --> 00:48:38,498
Thanks.

736
00:48:46,257 --> 00:48:48,216
Very atmospheric.

737
00:48:48,968 --> 00:48:51,886
Some people find motels exciting.

738
00:48:52,054 --> 00:48:54,264
Do you think l could be
one of those people?

739
00:48:54,432 --> 00:48:56,224
Of course.

740
00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:09,779
Nice shirt.
As in racy and sophisticated?

741
00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:12,699
You took the words right out
of my mouth.

742
00:49:16,662 --> 00:49:18,580
What's wrong with your boss?

743
00:49:21,208 --> 00:49:23,918
Basically he can only move his head.

744
00:49:25,212 --> 00:49:28,632
So, what sort of therapy
are they doing?

745
00:49:30,343 --> 00:49:31,968
They're having sex.

746
00:49:34,055 --> 00:49:36,139
[LAUGHS]

747
00:49:37,016 --> 00:49:38,475
You're shitting me.

748
00:49:38,643 --> 00:49:41,019
Okay. l'm shitting you.

749
00:49:41,187 --> 00:49:42,812
Oh, no, come on,
tell me for real.

750
00:49:44,065 --> 00:49:45,565
What are they actually doing?

751
00:49:47,068 --> 00:49:50,278
Well, today,
after some appropriate foreplay...

752
00:49:50,446 --> 00:49:53,323
...they're gonna try to achieve
full penetration.

753
00:50:01,332 --> 00:50:03,500
[MARK GROANlNG]

754
00:50:08,005 --> 00:50:09,506
CHERYL:
Are you okay down there?

755
00:50:09,674 --> 00:50:11,841
MARK:
l'm choking.

756
00:50:12,468 --> 00:50:15,095
CHERYL: Oh, my God.
The mouthpiece.

757
00:50:15,262 --> 00:50:17,180
The mouth....

758
00:50:17,348 --> 00:50:18,807
Thank you.

759
00:50:28,109 --> 00:50:31,194
Well, l guess that's off the menu
until further notice.

760
00:50:44,166 --> 00:50:46,960
Come on. Lighten up.

761
00:50:53,300 --> 00:50:56,177
[SlNGlNG]
Bonny girl, bonny girl

762
00:50:56,345 --> 00:51:00,223
Won't you be my bonny girl?

763
00:51:00,391 --> 00:51:05,311
My dad used to sing that
to my little sister Karen before she died.

764
00:51:07,148 --> 00:51:09,816
She was kind of a sad little girl.
lt didn't do much good.

765
00:51:11,235 --> 00:51:14,237
l'm really sorry
that the last time l saw her...

766
00:51:14,405 --> 00:51:16,865
...l fought with her and made her cry.

767
00:51:20,953 --> 00:51:24,831
My parents could have left me
in a nursing home, you know.

768
00:51:26,083 --> 00:51:30,420
Then they found out that the average life
expectancy for polios...

769
00:51:31,005 --> 00:51:34,007
...in nursing homes was 1 8 months.

770
00:51:36,844 --> 00:51:38,762
They took me home.

771
00:51:40,556 --> 00:51:42,348
Gave me a life.

772
00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:46,561
Gave up theirs.

773
00:51:47,354 --> 00:51:48,438
Mark...

774
00:51:48,606 --> 00:51:51,608
...l'm just going to go to the bathroom
for a quick pee...

775
00:51:51,776 --> 00:51:55,653
...and when l come back,
we're going to achieve full penetration.

776
00:51:55,821 --> 00:51:58,573
But before l go,
l want you to close your eyes.

777
00:51:58,741 --> 00:52:00,617
ls this a game?
lt's not a game.

778
00:52:00,785 --> 00:52:03,328
Just do as l say. Close your eyes.

779
00:52:10,795 --> 00:52:13,421
Picture yourself as a 6-year-old boy
at the beach.

780
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:17,300
Can you do that?

781
00:52:19,345 --> 00:52:20,762
Yes.

782
00:52:20,930 --> 00:52:22,722
Very easily.

783
00:52:22,890 --> 00:52:25,433
CHERYL:
Describe some of your feelings.

784
00:52:25,976 --> 00:52:28,186
MARK:
l feel exhilarated.

785
00:52:30,272 --> 00:52:32,941
Running along the Atlantic Ocean.

786
00:52:33,359 --> 00:52:35,652
l feel the wind.

787
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:39,405
Wet sand between my toes.

788
00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:41,741
CHERYL:
Do you really feel like him?

789
00:52:41,909 --> 00:52:44,160
MARK:
Yes, I really feel like him.

790
00:52:44,328 --> 00:52:46,496
CHERYL:
And can you really picture him?

791
00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:49,833
l don't understand.
l said l could feel like him.

792
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,877
Of course l can picture him.
From the outside.

793
00:52:53,045 --> 00:52:54,420
l mean, as an adult.

794
00:52:55,339 --> 00:52:57,507
As you are now.

795
00:52:57,675 --> 00:53:00,760
Looking at him, with his...

796
00:53:01,220 --> 00:53:02,846
...crew cut and his little face.

797
00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:13,565
Yes.

798
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,651
And are you mad at him?

799
00:53:17,653 --> 00:53:22,031
Do you blame him for getting polio?

800
00:53:25,119 --> 00:53:27,287
Was it his fault?

801
00:53:52,313 --> 00:53:53,521
[CHERYL URlNATlNG]

802
00:53:56,984 --> 00:54:00,820
She either forgot to close the bathroom door
or didn't bother to close it.

803
00:54:02,072 --> 00:54:05,325
l found the sound of her peeing
incredibly erotic.

804
00:54:05,993 --> 00:54:10,246
And the sound of her tearing off
toilet paper incredibly intimate.

805
00:54:11,081 --> 00:54:14,334
By the time she came back,
l had a terrific boner.

806
00:54:22,593 --> 00:54:24,093
Go on.

807
00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:27,931
l'm gonna rub the tip of your penis
around my vulva.

808
00:54:28,098 --> 00:54:31,768
And when it's ready,
l'll guide you in.

809
00:54:31,936 --> 00:54:36,439
Breathe slowly
and think of something delicious.

810
00:54:54,833 --> 00:54:56,334
[MARK GRUNTS]

811
00:54:57,836 --> 00:55:00,254
[MOANlNG]

812
00:55:14,144 --> 00:55:16,312
They've been a long time.

813
00:55:17,398 --> 00:55:18,773
Uh-huh.

814
00:55:22,653 --> 00:55:24,988
You got a boyfriend?
Yes.

815
00:55:28,742 --> 00:55:30,368
l grew up in Salem.

816
00:55:30,536 --> 00:55:32,704
Raised Catholic, like you...

817
00:55:32,871 --> 00:55:36,916
...but the Church did not appreciate
my attitude toward sex.

818
00:55:37,084 --> 00:55:40,837
You had an attitude toward sex?
l did. l liked it.

819
00:55:41,005 --> 00:55:43,840
They think they threw me out,
but l threw them out.

820
00:55:44,008 --> 00:55:46,342
So, for years,
l didn't believe in anything...

821
00:55:46,510 --> 00:55:48,970
...and now l'm converting
to Judaism.

822
00:55:49,138 --> 00:55:51,639
Well, it's good to have
some kind of insurance.

823
00:55:51,807 --> 00:55:54,726
Oh, l didn't think of that.
Then why are you doing it?

824
00:55:54,893 --> 00:55:59,188
My husband asked me to do it
before his grandmother dies.

825
00:55:59,356 --> 00:56:02,191
The idea is, if it makes her
happy and him happy...

826
00:56:02,359 --> 00:56:03,776
...it'll do the same for me.

827
00:56:04,570 --> 00:56:07,613
The fact that l'm already happy
does not seem to be relevant.

828
00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:11,200
What does your husband do?
He's a philosopher.

829
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:15,079
Wow. At a university?
No. ln his own mind.

830
00:56:15,247 --> 00:56:19,208
He runs the house and plays guitar.

831
00:56:19,376 --> 00:56:20,835
He thinks a lot.

832
00:56:28,385 --> 00:56:29,969
lt's getting late.

833
00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:40,730
Hey, we did great today.

834
00:56:40,898 --> 00:56:42,565
You were fantastic.

835
00:56:43,025 --> 00:56:46,277
You're a fully-fledged
male Homo sapien...

836
00:56:46,445 --> 00:56:49,113
...endowed with a handsome
and substantial penis...

837
00:56:49,281 --> 00:56:51,365
...which now has a proven track record.

838
00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:53,743
You should be thrilled.

839
00:56:53,911 --> 00:56:55,244
Was l really inside you?

840
00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:58,915
You were really and truly inside me.

841
00:56:59,083 --> 00:57:01,667
For how long?
At least five or six seconds.

842
00:57:01,835 --> 00:57:03,336
ls that all?

843
00:57:03,504 --> 00:57:05,963
That's a long time for some people.

844
00:57:06,131 --> 00:57:09,217
You were pretty excited.
l don't know what you were thinking about.

845
00:57:09,384 --> 00:57:11,844
Yeah, l, whew, heh....

846
00:57:12,471 --> 00:57:14,263
l don't, either. Heh.

847
00:57:14,431 --> 00:57:15,598
lt was....

848
00:57:15,766 --> 00:57:18,601
lt was all a jumble of sensations.

849
00:57:18,769 --> 00:57:22,814
Well, you definitely
achieved penetration.

850
00:57:22,981 --> 00:57:25,233
lt was penis-vagina all the way...

851
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:27,944
...and you definitely
get an "A" for orgasm.

852
00:57:28,570 --> 00:57:29,695
[CHUCKLES]

853
00:57:31,865 --> 00:57:33,366
Cheryl.

854
00:57:36,453 --> 00:57:37,954
Did you come?

855
00:57:39,498 --> 00:57:41,124
No, Mark, l didn't.

856
00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:43,459
Can we try for that next time?

857
00:57:46,046 --> 00:57:47,296
ls that what you want?

858
00:57:48,632 --> 00:57:50,174
Yes.

859
00:57:50,968 --> 00:57:52,760
That's what l want.

860
00:57:54,638 --> 00:57:56,305
Okay, then.

861
00:58:01,770 --> 00:58:02,895
[DOORBELL RlNGS]

862
00:58:03,063 --> 00:58:04,105
[COUGHS]

863
00:58:04,273 --> 00:58:05,648
[VEHlCLE REVVlNG]

864
00:58:11,572 --> 00:58:14,115
Hi. How you doing?
Good. Good. Come on in.

865
00:58:14,283 --> 00:58:16,492
How are you?
Still exhausted.

866
00:58:16,660 --> 00:58:18,452
Beer?
No, l'm okay.

867
00:58:18,620 --> 00:58:21,664
Oh, you need a glass?
That'd be great.

868
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:23,749
So...

869
00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:26,335
...on reflection, how do you feel?

870
00:58:26,503 --> 00:58:27,670
lt was okay.

871
00:58:28,297 --> 00:58:32,592
l liked some of the other stuffjust as much
or better, but l'm glad it's behind me.

872
00:58:32,759 --> 00:58:34,677
So am l. Congratulations.

873
00:58:34,887 --> 00:58:37,680
Thanks.
Thanks, Rod.

874
00:58:38,223 --> 00:58:40,933
When this is all over,
l'm gonna write an article about it.

875
00:58:41,101 --> 00:58:43,436
After all, sex sells.

876
00:58:43,604 --> 00:58:44,770
Seriously.

877
00:58:45,439 --> 00:58:48,691
So you're only doing this for the money?
Oh, absolutely.

878
00:58:48,859 --> 00:58:51,777
That makes me feel so much better
about everything.

879
00:58:52,863 --> 00:58:56,365
What is she like? Cheryl.
You've never said anything about her.

880
00:58:57,659 --> 00:58:59,952
She's the most wonderful person
on the planet.

881
00:59:01,580 --> 00:59:04,207
How's it going?
CHERYL: He reads too many books.

882
00:59:04,374 --> 00:59:06,918
He has it in his head
that after meeting three times...

883
00:59:07,085 --> 00:59:11,339
...we should be able to have penetrative sex
which results in simultaneous orgasm.

884
00:59:11,506 --> 00:59:14,383
Boom, just like that.
That's very funny.

885
00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:16,344
Yeah, I guess it is.

886
00:59:16,511 --> 00:59:18,304
What do you think of him?

887
00:59:20,265 --> 00:59:21,766
Cheryl?

888
00:59:22,601 --> 00:59:24,143
l like him.

889
00:59:42,871 --> 00:59:45,039
What are you thinking about?

890
00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:47,667
Nothing.

891
00:59:50,796 --> 00:59:52,964
l don't believe you.

892
00:59:54,424 --> 00:59:58,177
Okay, l was just thinking
about the whole conversion thing.

893
01:00:00,264 --> 01:00:02,556
l still don't believe you.

894
01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:13,776
Then whatever it is...

895
01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:17,029
...l guess l'm not in the mood
for talking about it.

896
01:00:21,034 --> 01:00:23,077
So?

897
01:00:24,746 --> 01:00:26,372
What do you think?

898
01:00:32,421 --> 01:00:34,505
[PHONE RlNGlNG]

899
01:00:37,175 --> 01:00:38,801
Hello. This is Cheryl.

900
01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:40,594
MARK:
Hey.

901
01:00:41,805 --> 01:00:43,014
Mark?
Hey.

902
01:00:43,181 --> 01:00:45,933
Could we meet somewhere for coffee?

903
01:00:46,810 --> 01:00:48,978
Somewhere nice? My treat.

904
01:00:50,522 --> 01:00:53,441
l don't usually meet with clients
outside of working hours.

905
01:00:53,608 --> 01:00:54,775
You know that.

906
01:00:54,943 --> 01:00:58,154
We don't have to talk business.

907
01:01:01,658 --> 01:01:06,162
Mark appears to be indulging
in typical transference behavior.

908
01:01:06,330 --> 01:01:09,582
We know this is not unusual
after first successful intercourse...

909
01:01:09,750 --> 01:01:13,085
...but l think he's particularly susceptible.

910
01:01:24,348 --> 01:01:29,518
He cannot help but seeing me
as the multifunctional, all-purpose woman.

911
01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:34,148
Mother, sister, teacher, lover, best friend.

912
01:01:34,316 --> 01:01:39,528
At the same time, his anxiety
about sexual performance has diminished.

913
01:01:54,878 --> 01:01:56,837
You look stunning.

914
01:01:57,005 --> 01:01:58,631
Look at this.

915
01:02:01,468 --> 01:02:03,552
Thank you.
WAlTER: You're welcome.

916
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,763
Could you put my cup
right on the edge here?

917
01:02:05,931 --> 01:02:09,183
Sure.
Right on the edge.

918
01:02:09,518 --> 01:02:12,520
And stick the straw in my mouth,
please.

919
01:02:13,021 --> 01:02:14,897
ls that okay?
Perfect.

920
01:02:15,065 --> 01:02:18,067
Oh, sir, l'd wait a couple minutes.
That coffee's kind of hot.

921
01:02:18,235 --> 01:02:20,653
Oh, thanks.
You're welcome.

922
01:02:22,489 --> 01:02:26,075
So, what should we talk about?
You know, we don't have to do much talking.

923
01:02:26,743 --> 01:02:29,203
l just wanted to be seen
with you in public.

924
01:02:30,455 --> 01:02:33,374
And l want people to say, "Hey, who's
that gimp with that beautiful blond?

925
01:02:33,542 --> 01:02:37,169
Ha, ha, ha.
How did he get so lucky?"

926
01:02:41,842 --> 01:02:44,635
lf an old girlfriend from school
you hadn't seen for years...

927
01:02:44,803 --> 01:02:46,929
...showed up here suddenly,
like, right now...

928
01:02:47,597 --> 01:02:49,765
...how would you introduce me?

929
01:02:50,767 --> 01:02:52,685
As your boyfriend?

930
01:02:52,853 --> 01:02:54,895
As my husband.

931
01:02:55,063 --> 01:02:57,106
l mean, why not go all the way?

932
01:02:59,109 --> 01:03:00,234
Really?

933
01:03:00,402 --> 01:03:02,820
We're pretending, right?

934
01:03:03,780 --> 01:03:05,364
So...

935
01:03:06,825 --> 01:03:08,451
...sure.

936
01:03:13,290 --> 01:03:15,749
MARK:
"Love Poem for....

937
01:03:16,293 --> 01:03:21,297
For No One in Particular."

938
01:03:22,549 --> 01:03:26,886
Tell me....

939
01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:28,804
Tell--

940
01:03:28,972 --> 01:03:30,764
Let me.

941
01:03:31,141 --> 01:03:35,311
Let me....

942
01:03:36,605 --> 01:03:38,397
Let me what?

943
01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:44,612
[SNlFFS]

944
01:04:05,175 --> 01:04:06,926
Really? Really, aren't you the one...

945
01:04:07,093 --> 01:04:09,178
...that's always said it can't get personal?

946
01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:12,806
That's a whole other thing.
What are you doing opening my mail?

947
01:04:12,974 --> 01:04:15,017
lt was scented.
l assumed it was junk mail.

948
01:04:15,185 --> 01:04:18,145
Even less reason to open it.
Where is it? Give it to me.

949
01:04:18,313 --> 01:04:21,023
You're not getting it.
This is none of your business.

950
01:04:21,191 --> 01:04:23,442
You're still not getting it.
l threw it out.

951
01:04:24,653 --> 01:04:26,529
You didn't.
l fucking did!

952
01:04:28,406 --> 01:04:29,949
What's up?

953
01:04:44,756 --> 01:04:46,423
Would you ask your mother...

954
01:04:46,591 --> 01:04:49,009
...to pass the salt, please?

955
01:04:49,427 --> 01:04:53,722
Ahem. Cheryl, would you
please pass the salt?

956
01:05:01,815 --> 01:05:03,732
[DOOR CLOSES]

957
01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:08,070
Listen, l'm-- l'm sorry.

958
01:05:08,238 --> 01:05:12,074
l know l really upset you before.
No, no, no. You didn't.

959
01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:14,577
l'm fine.
You sure?

960
01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:16,245
Yes.

961
01:05:19,708 --> 01:05:21,166
l promise.
Really?

962
01:05:21,334 --> 01:05:24,128
Yes. ln fact, l've come around
to your point of view.

963
01:05:24,296 --> 01:05:25,629
You were right.

964
01:05:25,797 --> 01:05:28,757
You're usually right about these things.

965
01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:42,605
lt was quite a lovely poem, really.

966
01:05:43,398 --> 01:05:45,733
Nothing astounding...

967
01:05:45,900 --> 01:05:49,528
...but it was heartfelt, and then....
Babe.

968
01:05:50,405 --> 01:05:52,281
Everything's great.

969
01:05:52,449 --> 01:05:55,701
l just need to get to sleep.

970
01:05:58,204 --> 01:05:59,663
Okay.

971
01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:03,542
Good night.

972
01:06:50,090 --> 01:06:53,133
MARK:
Let me touch you with my words

973
01:06:53,301 --> 01:06:56,303
For my hands lie limp as empty gloves.

974
01:07:04,688 --> 01:07:06,772
[WHlSPERlNG lNAUDlBLY]

975
01:07:16,658 --> 01:07:18,659
Amanda.

976
01:07:18,827 --> 01:07:19,868
[CHUCKLES]

977
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:28,836
l haven't seen you in a while.

978
01:07:29,003 --> 01:07:30,713
l know.

979
01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:32,548
l'm sorry.

980
01:07:34,259 --> 01:07:35,968
l'm, um....

981
01:07:36,136 --> 01:07:38,512
Well, l'm going to Germany...

982
01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:41,807
...so l wanted to say goodbye
to you before l left.

983
01:07:41,975 --> 01:07:43,642
Why are you going to Germany?

984
01:07:44,436 --> 01:07:45,894
To study German.

985
01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:48,021
For how long?

986
01:07:48,189 --> 01:07:52,276
One or two years, maybe.

987
01:07:53,069 --> 01:07:56,071
But, you know,
we should keep in touch.

988
01:07:56,239 --> 01:07:59,074
Yeah, but why go to Germany?

989
01:07:59,242 --> 01:08:01,910
lt's the only place in the world
where humor is forbidden.

990
01:08:02,078 --> 01:08:03,662
[LAUGHS]

991
01:08:06,833 --> 01:08:08,584
What?

992
01:08:10,170 --> 01:08:12,671
You could always make me laugh.

993
01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:16,675
[SOBS]

994
01:08:18,011 --> 01:08:21,305
l love you, Mark.

995
01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:27,436
l really do.
Really?

996
01:08:27,604 --> 01:08:29,772
"Yes, l love you, but not in that way.

997
01:08:30,899 --> 01:08:33,358
l love you, but l'm not in love with you."

998
01:08:33,526 --> 01:08:34,902
Blah, blah, blah.

999
01:08:35,403 --> 01:08:36,779
The same old story.

1000
01:08:37,864 --> 01:08:39,406
l'm sorry.

1001
01:08:58,259 --> 01:09:01,386
l think it's great what you're doing
with that surrogate lady.

1002
01:09:01,554 --> 01:09:03,430
Well, it could have been you.

1003
01:09:04,140 --> 01:09:05,599
[CHUCKLES]

1004
01:09:05,892 --> 01:09:08,060
Yeah, it could have been...

1005
01:09:08,561 --> 01:09:10,145
...but it wasn't.

1006
01:09:13,274 --> 01:09:14,983
MARK:
l had this...

1007
01:09:15,151 --> 01:09:19,738
...faint hope that she would show
the slightest bit ofjealousy.

1008
01:09:19,989 --> 01:09:22,574
Shows you how naive l am.

1009
01:09:23,243 --> 01:09:25,619
The fact that l was no longer a virgin...

1010
01:09:25,787 --> 01:09:28,747
...that l was a made man, so to speak...

1011
01:09:28,915 --> 01:09:31,708
...it made no difference to her at all.

1012
01:09:35,588 --> 01:09:37,589
Want to go out sometime?

1013
01:09:39,259 --> 01:09:40,759
No. l don't think so.

1014
01:09:40,927 --> 01:09:42,803
What? Your boyfriend?

1015
01:09:42,971 --> 01:09:45,347
No. l'm busy. That's all.

1016
01:09:47,851 --> 01:09:49,476
What's wrong with this anyway?

1017
01:09:49,644 --> 01:09:51,645
We're having a nice time, aren't we?

1018
01:09:52,647 --> 01:09:54,314
lt's okay.

1019
01:09:56,025 --> 01:09:58,610
Well, if you have stuff to do,
l can go take a walk...

1020
01:09:58,778 --> 01:10:02,072
...if you're busy, and come back later.
No, no. Stay.

1021
01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:03,699
Stay.

1022
01:10:06,077 --> 01:10:08,036
So come on, tell me.

1023
01:10:08,538 --> 01:10:10,664
What kind of therapist is she, really?

1024
01:10:10,832 --> 01:10:13,834
l told you the first time.
She's a sex therapist.

1025
01:10:16,212 --> 01:10:19,214
Today, they're working on
simultaneous orgasm.

1026
01:10:22,385 --> 01:10:23,802
What's that?

1027
01:10:29,058 --> 01:10:31,059
Boy, am l glad to see you.

1028
01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:33,395
Don't you say that to all the girls?

1029
01:10:33,563 --> 01:10:36,148
Yes, but l always mean it.

1030
01:10:57,211 --> 01:10:59,713
Remember about your breathing?

1031
01:11:01,716 --> 01:11:05,218
Concentrate on breathing out
rather than in.

1032
01:11:06,763 --> 01:11:09,014
CHERYL:
Mark was able to achieve an erection...

1033
01:11:09,182 --> 01:11:11,934
...as soon as l put my mouth on him.

1034
01:11:12,101 --> 01:11:14,561
He did the controlled breathing
as l suggested...

1035
01:11:14,729 --> 01:11:19,274
...and l was able to get on top
and guide him in quite easily.

1036
01:11:22,278 --> 01:11:23,946
Shit. ls it really in?

1037
01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:26,073
lt's really in.

1038
01:11:27,951 --> 01:11:29,952
MARK:
l couldn't believe it.

1039
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,746
l was finally there.

1040
01:11:35,375 --> 01:11:37,793
Too soon, l came.

1041
01:11:37,961 --> 01:11:40,754
But she kept holding me inside her.

1042
01:11:43,383 --> 01:11:47,803
Then a look of pleasure
brushed lightly over her face...

1043
01:11:48,262 --> 01:11:52,224
...as though an all-day itch
were finally being scratched.

1044
01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:56,144
[MOANS]

1045
01:11:57,563 --> 01:11:58,647
[GRUNTS]

1046
01:11:58,815 --> 01:12:01,191
She put her hands down
on the bed by my shoulders...

1047
01:12:01,359 --> 01:12:03,485
...and kissed my chest.

1048
01:12:08,199 --> 01:12:11,243
This act of affection moved me deeply.

1049
01:12:16,165 --> 01:12:18,333
l almost wept.

1050
01:12:19,544 --> 01:12:21,962
No one had ever done anything like that.

1051
01:12:28,344 --> 01:12:30,345
lt was so unexpected.

1052
01:12:31,848 --> 01:12:33,515
So natural.

1053
01:12:42,775 --> 01:12:48,363
l love you.

1054
01:12:49,449 --> 01:12:51,408
Did you come?

1055
01:12:52,035 --> 01:12:53,869
Yes.

1056
01:12:54,537 --> 01:12:55,787
CHERYL:
Mark is breathing well...

1057
01:12:55,955 --> 01:12:57,706
...learning to pace himself.

1058
01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:01,585
There is no real impediment
to a variety of sexual activities...

1059
01:13:01,753 --> 01:13:04,379
...given the right sort of partner.

1060
01:13:05,423 --> 01:13:06,840
His deeper emotional needs...

1061
01:13:07,008 --> 01:13:10,719
...are outside the scope
of my potential involvement.

1062
01:13:18,936 --> 01:13:21,063
What happens when...?

1063
01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:25,317
What happens when what?

1064
01:13:26,277 --> 01:13:29,404
When people become attached
to each other.

1065
01:13:29,906 --> 01:13:32,908
What people?
Just people.

1066
01:13:33,076 --> 01:13:35,535
What's the chemistry in it all?

1067
01:13:36,579 --> 01:13:39,706
When people are attracted to each other.
Are you attracted to me?

1068
01:13:39,874 --> 01:13:41,583
God, no.
Ha-ha-ha.

1069
01:13:41,751 --> 01:13:44,044
l'm just talking hypothetically.

1070
01:13:44,212 --> 01:13:46,254
Hypothetically...

1071
01:13:46,714 --> 01:13:49,257
...they write poems.

1072
01:13:49,675 --> 01:13:51,760
They have sex.

1073
01:13:53,930 --> 01:13:55,972
And what happens next?

1074
01:13:56,140 --> 01:13:58,809
After poetry and sex?

1075
01:14:00,186 --> 01:14:02,020
Nothing or everything.

1076
01:14:02,188 --> 01:14:04,606
The rest is by negotiation, as it were.

1077
01:14:04,774 --> 01:14:06,441
What do you mean?

1078
01:14:06,943 --> 01:14:11,404
l mean, you can leave
it at love and attraction...

1079
01:14:12,198 --> 01:14:16,493
...or you can make things complicated,
like most people do.

1080
01:14:18,454 --> 01:14:20,205
Have you?

1081
01:14:22,792 --> 01:14:24,459
Yes.

1082
01:14:25,545 --> 01:14:27,838
Then, afterwards...

1083
01:14:29,215 --> 01:14:30,966
...there was this...

1084
01:14:32,135 --> 01:14:33,718
...moment.

1085
01:14:35,638 --> 01:14:39,307
This glimpse of an awful sadness to come.

1086
01:14:40,810 --> 01:14:42,811
[SOFT MUSlC
PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS]

1087
01:14:45,565 --> 01:14:48,108
Can l use the phone?
Sure.

1088
01:14:48,276 --> 01:14:50,652
Will you call their room?

1089
01:14:50,820 --> 01:14:52,654
Hold on.

1090
01:14:53,489 --> 01:14:55,073
Thanks.

1091
01:14:55,992 --> 01:14:57,909
[PHONE RlNGS]

1092
01:15:01,998 --> 01:15:05,250
What should we do next time?
Any requests?

1093
01:15:08,004 --> 01:15:09,171
Mark?

1094
01:15:09,338 --> 01:15:11,256
l'm thinking.

1095
01:15:13,634 --> 01:15:16,428
We have two sessions left
ls that correct?

1096
01:15:17,388 --> 01:15:18,638
That's right, or--

1097
01:15:19,348 --> 01:15:20,849
Or what?

1098
01:15:21,726 --> 01:15:24,102
Or we could stop now.

1099
01:15:25,980 --> 01:15:27,981
You mean make this the last session?

1100
01:15:28,149 --> 01:15:29,482
Yes.

1101
01:15:35,740 --> 01:15:39,868
What do you think we should do?
lt's not we. lt's you, Mark. lt's up to you.

1102
01:15:40,036 --> 01:15:43,496
l want to know how you feel.
That doesn't come into it.

1103
01:15:43,664 --> 01:15:45,332
Yes, it does.

1104
01:15:45,499 --> 01:15:48,126
l don't just write poems to anyone.

1105
01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:52,214
Mark, what do you want me to say?

1106
01:15:52,381 --> 01:15:55,050
How much l was touched by that?

1107
01:15:55,218 --> 01:15:59,137
How special this has been for me?

1108
01:16:00,389 --> 01:16:03,308
That's not gonna help you.
lt's gonna make it worse.

1109
01:16:03,809 --> 01:16:06,561
So you're saying that...

1110
01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:09,731
...the sixth session, that would be it?

1111
01:16:09,899 --> 01:16:11,566
That would be it.

1112
01:16:14,528 --> 01:16:16,321
lf it's any consolation...

1113
01:16:16,489 --> 01:16:19,241
...it's also hard for me to think about it.

1114
01:16:22,286 --> 01:16:24,204
Then maybe we should
pull the plug now.

1115
01:16:24,372 --> 01:16:25,413
l think we should.

1116
01:16:29,418 --> 01:16:33,171
l guess you might as well save
that money. Buy yourself a futon.

1117
01:16:38,594 --> 01:16:39,678
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

1118
01:16:41,264 --> 01:16:43,098
Just a second.

1119
01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:53,900
Bye, Mark.

1120
01:16:56,195 --> 01:16:57,612
Bye.

1121
01:17:04,328 --> 01:17:06,329
[DOOR SLlDES OPEN]

1122
01:17:07,123 --> 01:17:09,291
VERA: Everything all right?
He did great. See you.

1123
01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:11,876
Sorry. l have to run.
Okay.

1124
01:17:45,870 --> 01:17:48,038
You forgot this.

1125
01:17:49,165 --> 01:17:50,165
[GASPS]

1126
01:18:04,013 --> 01:18:05,597
[MOUTHS]
Thank you.

1127
01:18:42,385 --> 01:18:44,386
[UTENSlLS CLlNKlNG]

1128
01:18:50,309 --> 01:18:55,397
l wanted to believe that because of Cheryl
my life had changed, but it hadn't.

1129
01:18:57,233 --> 01:18:59,859
l just kept thinking, "ls that it?

1130
01:19:01,737 --> 01:19:02,862
ls that all there is?"

1131
01:19:06,659 --> 01:19:09,202
l think you've done a great thing.

1132
01:19:21,257 --> 01:19:24,509
LADY: So is this your first time?
lt is. l'm converting.

1133
01:19:24,677 --> 01:19:26,302
Oh, wonderful.

1134
01:19:26,470 --> 01:19:28,721
Come here.
l need to look at your hands...

1135
01:19:28,889 --> 01:19:31,599
...your fingernails and your toenails.

1136
01:19:31,767 --> 01:19:34,269
So, what do you do?

1137
01:19:34,770 --> 01:19:37,856
l don't think you'd understand.
You can try me.

1138
01:19:38,023 --> 01:19:39,732
Okay.

1139
01:19:39,900 --> 01:19:43,027
l'm a housewife.
Why shouldn't l understand?

1140
01:19:43,195 --> 01:19:45,697
Maybe l was mistaken.
Turn around.

1141
01:19:45,865 --> 01:19:47,615
And drop your robe halfway.

1142
01:19:47,783 --> 01:19:50,785
l'm gonna check for any
loose hairs on your back.

1143
01:19:50,953 --> 01:19:53,163
That looks good.
l'll take the robe...

1144
01:19:53,330 --> 01:19:55,874
...and you can let your
hair down now.

1145
01:19:56,041 --> 01:19:58,293
l see you're very comfortable being naked.

1146
01:19:58,461 --> 01:20:00,670
lt's never been one of my problems.

1147
01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:04,966
LADY: Sometimes new brides
come with their mothers.

1148
01:20:05,134 --> 01:20:08,803
"Do l have to take this off?
Can l please leave this on?"

1149
01:20:08,971 --> 01:20:10,805
They've never been naked before.

1150
01:20:10,973 --> 01:20:12,974
"No, honey, it all has to come off."

1151
01:20:13,142 --> 01:20:15,894
And it does?
And it does.

1152
01:20:16,061 --> 01:20:21,483
They stand at the edge of this pool
with nothing to cling to but themselves.

1153
01:20:21,650 --> 01:20:23,943
Nothing to hide behind.

1154
01:20:24,111 --> 01:20:25,612
This is your body.

1155
01:20:26,530 --> 01:20:29,741
This is the body that God
crafted for you.

1156
01:20:33,120 --> 01:20:34,370
CHERYL
Okay, Mark.

1157
01:20:34,538 --> 01:20:36,664
You can open your eyes now.

1158
01:20:41,921 --> 01:20:53,223
This is your body.

1159
01:20:55,184 --> 01:20:57,936
ANNOUNCER [OVER RADlO]:
Here among the....

1160
01:20:58,103 --> 01:21:01,105
Oh, about 37,000 here tonight at the Stick.

1161
01:21:01,398 --> 01:21:03,441
Local boy makes good...

1162
01:21:03,609 --> 01:21:07,362
...first time back in a visiting uniform.

1163
01:21:07,530 --> 01:21:11,699
Runner on first with one out
to the lanky left fielder.

1164
01:21:11,867 --> 01:21:13,660
And the pitch.

1165
01:21:13,827 --> 01:21:18,206
And he struck him out!
l don't think he was expecting that.

1166
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:22,418
Yeah, you can do it. Come on.

1167
01:21:23,671 --> 01:21:25,463
[MACHlNE POWERS DOWN]

1168
01:22:00,082 --> 01:22:02,083
[LlNE RlNGlNG]

1169
01:22:02,251 --> 01:22:04,627
ANSWERlNG MACHlNE:
The person you are calling is not in.

1170
01:22:04,795 --> 01:22:06,337
Please leave a message.

1171
01:22:06,505 --> 01:22:07,630
[MACHlNE BEEPS]

1172
01:22:07,798 --> 01:22:11,259
Rod. l need your help.

1173
01:22:11,427 --> 01:22:13,011
The power's gone out...

1174
01:22:13,178 --> 01:22:15,054
...including the pump on the iron lung.

1175
01:22:15,222 --> 01:22:19,017
l'd say l got about three hours
before l start to turn blue.

1176
01:22:19,435 --> 01:22:21,436
l hope you get this in time.

1177
01:22:21,604 --> 01:22:25,106
lt's Mark. l'll try 91 1 .

1178
01:22:32,281 --> 01:22:33,906
Ohh!

1179
01:22:35,492 --> 01:22:37,076
Shit.

1180
01:22:50,299 --> 01:22:52,634
So this is how it ends.

1181
01:23:11,820 --> 01:23:13,738
DOCTOR:
Mark.

1182
01:23:13,906 --> 01:23:15,782
Can you open your eyes for me, Mark?

1183
01:23:15,949 --> 01:23:17,325
Can you hear me?

1184
01:23:18,619 --> 01:23:19,994
Mark?

1185
01:23:20,162 --> 01:23:21,996
Come on, Mark.

1186
01:23:26,627 --> 01:23:28,503
SUSAN:
They'll be letting you go today.

1187
01:23:28,671 --> 01:23:31,506
Whoever looks after you
will leave the portable respirator...

1188
01:23:31,674 --> 01:23:35,343
...switched on at night, fully charged.
You'll have at least one backup system.

1189
01:23:35,511 --> 01:23:37,512
Okay?
Okay.

1190
01:23:38,180 --> 01:23:40,515
How close was l?

1191
01:23:41,517 --> 01:23:43,017
To what?

1192
01:23:44,061 --> 01:23:48,022
You know, to the--
That tunnel thing and the....

1193
01:23:48,190 --> 01:23:53,444
The light and the voice saying,
"Don't go near the light."

1194
01:23:53,612 --> 01:23:55,113
[CHUCKLES]

1195
01:23:55,531 --> 01:23:59,367
ls that what you remember?
No, l assume l passed out.

1196
01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:02,662
Before that,
l remember feeling sorry for myself.

1197
01:24:02,871 --> 01:24:04,288
Hmm.

1198
01:24:04,873 --> 01:24:07,792
Do you feel relieved now?
No.

1199
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:11,546
Relieved that Rod got to me in time, but l....

1200
01:24:12,840 --> 01:24:14,799
l still feel sorry for myself.

1201
01:24:14,967 --> 01:24:18,261
Well, l'm sure there's a cure
for that.

1202
01:24:18,429 --> 01:24:20,513
Do you want to talk to someone or...?

1203
01:24:20,681 --> 01:24:23,349
l feel comfortable talking to you.

1204
01:24:24,560 --> 01:24:27,270
Well, l'm just a volunteer.

1205
01:24:27,438 --> 01:24:29,772
l'm not a therapist.

1206
01:24:29,940 --> 01:24:32,400
l can recommend you
to someone, if you like.

1207
01:24:32,568 --> 01:24:34,402
l'm-- l'm sorry to be rude.

1208
01:24:34,570 --> 01:24:37,739
l'm just smiling at the idea
that a therapist...

1209
01:24:37,906 --> 01:24:40,491
...could do anything useful
for me right now.

1210
01:24:40,659 --> 01:24:42,076
My priest couldn't.

1211
01:24:42,244 --> 01:24:44,912
Are you religious?
Yes.

1212
01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:50,251
l would find it absolutely intolerable
not to be able to blame someone for all this.

1213
01:24:50,753 --> 01:24:52,670
[LAUGHS]

1214
01:24:55,924 --> 01:24:58,509
Are you?
No.

1215
01:24:58,677 --> 01:25:01,345
l don't-- l don't go to any church or--

1216
01:25:01,513 --> 01:25:03,389
l don't think about God very much.

1217
01:25:04,475 --> 01:25:06,851
l do believe there's a...

1218
01:25:07,019 --> 01:25:10,104
...mysterious logic or...

1219
01:25:11,273 --> 01:25:13,107
...poetry to life.

1220
01:25:14,318 --> 01:25:16,277
l guess that makes me
a spiritual type.

1221
01:25:16,445 --> 01:25:18,237
Yes.

1222
01:25:18,405 --> 01:25:20,281
That would count.

1223
01:25:24,661 --> 01:25:26,287
Would you like me to visit you?

1224
01:25:26,455 --> 01:25:28,873
Are you married?
No.

1225
01:25:29,041 --> 01:25:31,459
Do you have a steady boyfriend?

1226
01:25:32,169 --> 01:25:36,214
No.
Then please visit as often as you can.

1227
01:25:37,049 --> 01:25:38,466
SUSAN: Bye.
Bye.

1228
01:25:38,634 --> 01:25:41,636
Take care.
Hey, hang on a second.

1229
01:25:44,473 --> 01:25:46,599
There's just one more thing
l want to tell you.

1230
01:25:47,184 --> 01:25:48,935
What's that?

1231
01:25:51,188 --> 01:25:53,105
l'm not a virgin.

1232
01:25:55,275 --> 01:25:56,442
Go ahead.

1233
01:26:02,115 --> 01:26:04,325
Thank you for sharing that with me.
MARK: Sure.

1234
01:26:11,041 --> 01:26:12,792
l'm flabbergasted.

1235
01:26:12,960 --> 01:26:14,126
She adores me.

1236
01:26:14,294 --> 01:26:18,422
She'll do anything for me,
and l can get pretty kinky sometimes.

1237
01:26:19,258 --> 01:26:21,884
Here l was,
ready to offer comfort to the forlorn.

1238
01:26:22,052 --> 01:26:24,428
lt's supposed to be my specialty.

1239
01:26:24,596 --> 01:26:27,431
Well, l guess l can throw away
that little speech.

1240
01:26:27,599 --> 01:26:32,186
No, no. Please, make the little speech.

1241
01:26:32,354 --> 01:26:33,354
l'd love to hear it.

1242
01:26:34,022 --> 01:26:35,940
Okay, fine. Here goes.

1243
01:26:36,108 --> 01:26:38,150
The meaning of love.

1244
01:26:38,777 --> 01:26:40,278
Love is a journey.

1245
01:26:40,445 --> 01:26:41,988
l like it already.

1246
01:26:46,159 --> 01:26:48,870
That's it. That's all l've got.
l told you, it's short.

1247
01:26:49,037 --> 01:26:51,873
Love is a journey.
Heh.

1248
01:27:09,349 --> 01:27:13,019
MARK:
l met Susan five years before I died.

1249
01:27:13,228 --> 01:27:16,063
She was the love of my life.

1250
01:27:16,607 --> 01:27:19,066
We had the same priorities.

1251
01:27:19,234 --> 01:27:22,403
Baseball pretty much came first.

1252
01:27:22,571 --> 01:27:25,406
And we wrote each other mushy poems.

1253
01:27:25,574 --> 01:27:29,035
l never expected it, nor did she...

1254
01:27:29,202 --> 01:27:31,871
...but that's often the way things turn out.

1255
01:27:33,582 --> 01:27:35,708
Susan Fernbach.

1256
01:27:37,544 --> 01:27:40,421
MARK:
They say there is a cup of life...

1257
01:27:40,589 --> 01:27:43,466
...which is either half empty or half full...

1258
01:27:43,634 --> 01:27:46,761
...depending on how you feel about things.

1259
01:27:46,929 --> 01:27:49,430
Of course, the two halves were never even.

1260
01:27:50,057 --> 01:27:52,934
Not in my case, that's for sure.

1261
01:27:53,101 --> 01:27:57,271
I mean, look at all the years
of unendurable crap l've had to put up with.

1262
01:27:57,439 --> 01:28:00,149
That fills most of the cup.

1263
01:28:00,943 --> 01:28:03,694
But in the little bit that's left...

1264
01:28:03,862 --> 01:28:05,613
...what do l have to show for myself?

1265
01:28:05,781 --> 01:28:07,365
[TALKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY]

1266
01:28:07,532 --> 01:28:09,617
MARK:
At the very least...

1267
01:28:09,785 --> 01:28:14,121
...three beautiful women who all loved me.

1268
01:28:14,539 --> 01:28:17,416
And who will all show up at my funeral.

1269
01:28:17,584 --> 01:28:23,631
His was a dynamic voice
in a paralyzed body.

1270
01:28:23,799 --> 01:28:26,217
A life lived fully...

1271
01:28:26,385 --> 01:28:28,803
...long after he should have been dead.

1272
01:28:28,971 --> 01:28:32,306
And against all odds,
by Mark's own admission...

1273
01:28:32,474 --> 01:28:34,767
...he knew love.

1274
01:28:34,935 --> 01:28:36,978
Emotional and physical love.

1275
01:28:38,814 --> 01:28:41,315
And in this way, Mark lived his life.

1276
01:28:41,483 --> 01:28:44,235
Day by day by day...

1277
01:28:44,403 --> 01:28:48,072
...breath by breath by breath.

1278
01:28:48,240 --> 01:28:53,995
For 49 years,
he loved and he was loved.

1279
01:28:59,042 --> 01:29:02,920
And now Susan Fernbach
will read one of Mark's favorite poems.

1280
01:29:10,345 --> 01:29:12,972
This is called:

1281
01:29:13,598 --> 01:29:16,934
"Love Poem for No One in Particular."

1282
01:29:20,647 --> 01:29:23,649
Let me touch you with my words

1283
01:29:24,484 --> 01:29:25,568
For my hands

1284
01:29:25,736 --> 01:29:28,362
MARK:
Lie limp as empty gloves.

1285
01:29:28,739 --> 01:29:31,490
Let my words stroke your hair

1286
01:29:31,658 --> 01:29:36,203
Slide down your back and tickle your belly.

1287
01:29:36,580 --> 01:29:38,247
For my hands

1288
01:29:38,415 --> 01:29:41,959
Light and free-flying as bricks

1289
01:29:42,127 --> 01:29:45,046
lgnore my wishes and stubbornly refuse

1290
01:29:45,213 --> 01:29:48,883
To carry out my quietest desires

1291
01:29:49,051 --> 01:29:52,970
Let my words enter your mind

1292
01:29:53,388 --> 01:29:54,805
Bearing torches

1293
01:29:55,891 --> 01:29:58,893
Admit them willingly into your being

1294
01:29:59,061 --> 01:30:02,646
So they may caress you gently within

1295
01:30:02,814 --> 01:30:04,190
Within

856
01:35:03,937 --> 01:35:04,980
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