1 00:00:19,733 --> 00:00:23,737 New York City, the world capital of culture and industry. 2 00:00:23,737 --> 00:00:25,740 Here, among the towering skyscrapers, 3 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:30,745 civilization is guided by men of progress and the wonders of technology. 4 00:00:30,745 --> 00:00:34,749 But for all this industrial advancement, there is a price to pay. 5 00:00:34,749 --> 00:00:39,254 Pollution. The unavoidable byproduct of today's society. 6 00:00:42,257 --> 00:00:45,761 Every year, millions of gallons of poisonous wastes, 7 00:00:45,761 --> 00:00:49,265 garbage, and radioactive chemicals are disposed of in nearby towns 8 00:00:49,265 --> 00:00:53,770 such as Tromaville, the toxic waste dumping capital of the world. 9 00:00:54,771 --> 00:00:57,475 Our story takes place at the Tromaville Health Club 10 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,977 Where a young man named Melvin Furd works. 11 00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:02,780 Melvin's entire life, in fact 12 00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:07,284 entire being was changed by toxic chemical waste. 13 00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:31,877 Would you take a look at that fucking guy? 14 00:02:32,378 --> 00:02:35,882 Dumb mop boy can't even mop right. 15 00:02:37,384 --> 00:02:38,885 He's so stupid! 16 00:02:38,885 --> 00:02:41,888 He's always got that shit-eating grin on his face. 17 00:02:42,389 --> 00:02:43,890 What's he so happy about? 18 00:02:45,393 --> 00:02:46,394 I hate that mop boy. 19 00:02:48,396 --> 00:02:51,899 I think that creep is coming over here. 20 00:02:54,902 --> 00:02:58,907 Julie, you smell something? 21 00:02:58,907 --> 00:03:03,412 Ew! P-U! What's that stink? 22 00:03:06,415 --> 00:03:10,420 Gee, that's funny. I don't smell nothing. 23 00:03:12,922 --> 00:03:15,425 Melvin, clean up the toilet, it stinks over here! 24 00:03:15,425 --> 00:03:18,930 OK. I'll be right there! 25 00:03:22,934 --> 00:03:24,936 Look what you did, you fucking asshole! 26 00:03:24,936 --> 00:03:26,938 Yeah, you fucking asshole! 27 00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:29,441 - Hey, what are you, retarded? - Huh? retarded? 28 00:03:29,441 --> 00:03:29,942 I'm sorry! 29 00:03:30,442 --> 00:03:31,944 Sorry, huh? 30 00:03:31,944 --> 00:03:32,945 You want me to go and get a fucking disease! 31 00:03:33,445 --> 00:03:35,447 Yeah, you want her to go and get a fucking disease? 32 00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:36,949 I didn't mean it! 33 00:03:36,949 --> 00:03:37,449 Aw, I didn't mean it. 34 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:44,457 Next time you fuck with me, I'm gonna take this mop and shove it down your throat. 35 00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:47,961 He is stressing me, Julie! 36 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,462 He is stressing me! 37 00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:50,464 Oh, Bozo... 38 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:54,468 I can't take it. I cannot take it Julie. He is screwing up my karma! 39 00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,474 See what you did, you idiot? See what you did!? 40 00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:02,978 You've stressed Bozo! 41 00:04:02,978 --> 00:04:06,982 I'm sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to do it. He was sitting there and I-- 42 00:04:06,982 --> 00:04:10,585 Ah! How dare you talk to me, you twerp! 43 00:04:25,502 --> 00:04:28,005 Keep it up, Bozo. Keep it up. 44 00:04:28,705 --> 00:04:30,107 But remember, 45 00:04:30,507 --> 00:04:33,011 there is only one muscle you gotta worry about. 46 00:04:35,513 --> 00:04:40,018 Hey, you know. I think you ought to work a little bit on your gut. 47 00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:42,020 You're getting a little bit flabby there. 48 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,523 Where!? What are you talking about? 49 00:04:44,523 --> 00:04:47,526 I don't got no fat! There's no fat here. I don't got no f-- 50 00:04:48,527 --> 00:04:51,030 Fat! Fat! 51 00:05:07,048 --> 00:05:09,550 Slug, are you sure no one will come in? 52 00:05:09,550 --> 00:05:11,552 I paid Tony 15 bucks. 53 00:05:11,552 --> 00:05:15,056 He said the place is ours until tomorrow morning. 54 00:05:16,559 --> 00:05:19,562 Relax. You want a drink? 55 00:05:19,562 --> 00:05:21,363 - Yeah. - Alright. 56 00:05:27,771 --> 00:05:32,075 Slug, can I come again next time you and Bozo go driving? 57 00:05:32,075 --> 00:05:34,978 If you want to, bad enough. 58 00:05:34,978 --> 00:05:37,581 I love it when we go real fast. 59 00:05:37,581 --> 00:05:39,083 And they never know what hit 'em. 60 00:05:39,083 --> 00:05:42,186 They never believe we're going to run 'em down. 61 00:05:42,186 --> 00:05:45,189 We keep getting closer and closer. 62 00:05:45,189 --> 00:05:47,491 And faster and faster. 63 00:05:47,491 --> 00:05:49,795 They're just standing there and yeah. 64 00:05:49,795 --> 00:05:50,996 We hit them! 65 00:05:50,996 --> 00:05:52,998 I love the sound of breaking bones! 66 00:05:52,998 --> 00:05:56,101 The car driving over them, dragging their bodies. 67 00:05:56,101 --> 00:05:58,604 All that beautiful blood! 68 00:05:58,604 --> 00:06:00,607 Slug! 69 00:06:00,607 --> 00:06:02,609 I want you, now. 70 00:07:08,994 --> 00:07:11,490 Give it to me! Give it to me! More! More! 71 00:07:24,266 --> 00:07:26,461 Get out of here, you pervert! 72 00:07:27,460 --> 00:07:29,456 Or I'll kill ya! 73 00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:46,723 Julie. Julie, the points. The rules, what are they? 74 00:07:46,723 --> 00:07:49,218 Let me see if I can remember the whole list. 75 00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:55,208 Now, jews, whops, niggers and chinks, 76 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,703 they're all worth twenty-five points. 77 00:07:58,201 --> 00:08:01,196 But Puerto Ricans, they're worth thirty points. 78 00:08:01,196 --> 00:08:05,687 Now kids under twelve they're worth double points. 79 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,884 Skippy, don't forget your helmet. 80 00:08:07,884 --> 00:08:09,880 OK, sis. 81 00:08:11,178 --> 00:08:14,172 And be careful out there. 82 00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:20,160 Julie, does it count if I graze them? 83 00:08:21,358 --> 00:08:27,845 You got to destroy them! Bozo, I want them dead. 84 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,836 Now we're gonna get 'em. 85 00:08:32,836 --> 00:08:37,328 Come on. Come on! Come on! Where the fuck is everybody? Where the fuck is everybody? 86 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,811 How much is a kid on a bicycle? 87 00:08:46,811 --> 00:08:47,529 Where? 88 00:08:49,106 --> 00:08:52,598 Twenty-eight points if you get both the kid and the bike? 89 00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:55,494 Let's take a closer look. 90 00:08:58,588 --> 00:09:01,083 Oh, he a cute little boy, isn't he? 91 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:04,576 Out pretty late, aren't you, honey? 92 00:09:08,070 --> 00:09:09,566 The coast is clear, Bozo. 93 00:09:09,566 --> 00:09:11,065 We got him! 94 00:09:19,049 --> 00:09:21,045 We're gonna kill him! We're gonna get him! 95 00:09:42,705 --> 00:09:44,701 Now you get full points! 96 00:09:44,701 --> 00:09:48,193 No way! The kid's still moving! 97 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:52,486 We're not finished yet! 98 00:09:52,986 --> 00:09:55,481 He's still moving, no way you get full points. 99 00:09:55,481 --> 00:09:58,974 No way, huh? No way? I'll fucking show you no way. 100 00:10:13,945 --> 00:10:15,942 Give me that! Gibe me that! 101 00:10:20,931 --> 00:10:22,928 Full points, my man! 102 00:10:22,928 --> 00:10:26,421 Look at him! Wow, oh my God! 103 00:10:33,708 --> 00:10:37,202 These are gonna be the best shots we've ever taken. 104 00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:39,196 Yeah, this is fun! 105 00:10:40,695 --> 00:10:42,691 These are great! 106 00:10:43,189 --> 00:10:46,185 Show me your pretty pictures! 107 00:10:51,174 --> 00:10:53,669 That was good! That was good! 108 00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:58,162 I want to do it again! I want to do it again! 109 00:10:58,661 --> 00:11:01,655 - Yeah, let's do it again! - Yeah, let's go for it again! 110 00:11:02,155 --> 00:11:05,148 No, no I can't. I've got to go home. 111 00:11:05,148 --> 00:11:06,146 What? 112 00:11:06,146 --> 00:11:08,641 Well, I got to get up early in the morning. 113 00:11:08,942 --> 00:11:10,439 Got to go to church. 114 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:11,985 Oh! 115 00:11:32,198 --> 00:11:34,698 And up! Up! Up! Up! 116 00:11:34,724 --> 00:11:37,722 Now kick! Out! Out! Out! 117 00:11:37,748 --> 00:11:40,147 Now arms up! Stop. Stop. 118 00:11:40,347 --> 00:11:43,846 That's really pitiful. Just stop. Just stop a second. 119 00:11:43,846 --> 00:11:45,845 Look how many times do I have to tell you people? 120 00:11:45,845 --> 00:11:48,344 Do exactly what I do. 121 00:11:48,844 --> 00:11:51,643 If I kick my right foot, you kick your right foot. 122 00:11:51,643 --> 00:11:54,442 If I kick my left foot, you kick your left foot. 123 00:11:54,442 --> 00:11:57,540 Okay? Whatever I do, you do exactly the same thing. 124 00:11:57,540 --> 00:12:01,538 Okay? Now how about we start again? You're gonna do exactly what I'm doing. 125 00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:03,789 Okay guys, you know what I'm talking about? 126 00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:08,037 Let's go, let's do it this time. Okay! Let's get the music! 5, 6, 7, and hey, hey... 127 00:12:30,129 --> 00:12:33,726 Watch what I'm doing here. Watch how I hit this ball. 128 00:12:33,726 --> 00:12:35,725 Are you watching me!? Are you watching me!? 129 00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:38,250 I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it! 130 00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:43,023 Aah! I'm gonna kick that freak's mouth in! 131 00:12:44,322 --> 00:12:48,621 Bozo, it's okay. It's okay. Hey, guys, come here. 132 00:12:48,621 --> 00:12:52,120 Have I got a plan to fix that mop boys wagon. 133 00:12:52,474 --> 00:12:53,669 Great! What is it? 134 00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:55,661 Well... 135 00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:01,506 Hi, Melvin. 136 00:13:01,522 --> 00:13:03,115 Whoa! 137 00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:07,038 Melvin. Melvin, it's okay. It's okay. 138 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:13,113 Hey, I just came to apologize. Yes, I didn't mean to be so nasty yesterday. 139 00:13:13,612 --> 00:13:16,110 Oh, that's okay, Julie. I didn't really mind. 140 00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:18,610 In fact, I was hoping you could help me, 141 00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:20,610 with a little problem. I've been having. 142 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:23,107 - Who, me? - Yes but... 143 00:13:23,107 --> 00:13:26,107 I can't talk about here with all these people around. 144 00:13:26,614 --> 00:13:29,041 Hey, I got a great idea. 145 00:13:29,378 --> 00:13:31,106 Why don't you meet me in the girls locker room? 146 00:13:31,915 --> 00:13:33,674 Girls' locker room? 147 00:13:33,736 --> 00:13:37,602 Yes. Then we can discuss it alone. 148 00:13:38,094 --> 00:13:40,335 Oh, oh! 149 00:13:42,851 --> 00:13:44,333 Okay. 150 00:13:44,373 --> 00:13:46,379 Great! Let's say 7 o'clock. 151 00:13:46,598 --> 00:13:49,531 Okay. That'll be good for me, too, 'cause I gotta to clean the toilets 152 00:13:49,546 --> 00:13:52,096 in there around that time anyway. 153 00:13:52,742 --> 00:13:54,597 Good. It's a date. See you then. 154 00:13:54,597 --> 00:13:56,596 Okay. 155 00:13:59,594 --> 00:14:06,581 490... 491... 492... 156 00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:16,517 493... 494... 495... 157 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:21,299 Hi, guys. Well, Melvin fell for it. Hook line and sinker. 158 00:14:21,312 --> 00:14:21,986 Great! 159 00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:31,582 We've been driving for two whole hours. 160 00:14:31,582 --> 00:14:34,185 Let's pull this rig over and take a break. 161 00:14:34,202 --> 00:14:35,592 Hey, the boss'll have our asses. 162 00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:37,817 You know he don't want us to stop in habitated areas 163 00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:40,578 with this radioactive chemical waste we got on the back. 164 00:14:40,578 --> 00:14:44,274 It's dangerous. It's like that cancerogenic stuff, you know. 165 00:14:44,305 --> 00:14:48,431 Hey Joey, you remember that dope we were snorting last week? 166 00:14:48,462 --> 00:14:52,726 -Do I? - Well, buddy boy. Check this out. 167 00:14:52,819 --> 00:14:54,572 Holy shit! Why didn't you say so. 168 00:14:54,572 --> 00:14:56,572 Let's pull it over! 169 00:15:06,092 --> 00:15:06,990 Julie. 170 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:10,969 - Hi, Melvin. - Hi, Julie. 171 00:15:10,987 --> 00:15:13,006 Come in, don't be shy. 172 00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:17,565 So, what was it that you wanted me to help you with? 173 00:15:17,943 --> 00:15:20,063 - Well, it's about Bozo. - Bozo? 174 00:15:20,063 --> 00:15:22,063 Yeah, you see, I'm so sick of the way he goes around 175 00:15:22,063 --> 00:15:24,562 pushing people around all the time. 176 00:15:24,562 --> 00:15:26,561 He's so immature. 177 00:15:26,561 --> 00:15:30,061 In fact, I don't like to go out with him anymore. 178 00:15:30,559 --> 00:15:33,559 But I don't know quite how to tell him. 179 00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:38,556 In fact, Melvin, I think you're handsome, 180 00:15:38,556 --> 00:15:48,707 and sensitive and kind. Oh, Melvin, I find you irresistible. 181 00:15:48,825 --> 00:15:50,053 - Me? - Yes. 182 00:15:50,773 --> 00:15:53,162 Melvin, I want to do it with you. 183 00:15:53,207 --> 00:15:53,928 Do it? 184 00:15:53,944 --> 00:15:54,835 Do it! 185 00:15:54,862 --> 00:15:55,693 Do what? 186 00:15:55,748 --> 00:15:57,050 Do it, Melvin, do it! 187 00:15:57,050 --> 00:16:00,311 Do it? Okay. 188 00:16:00,671 --> 00:16:03,658 Wait a minute. Have I got a great idea, Melvin. 189 00:16:03,681 --> 00:16:04,666 What is it? 190 00:16:04,688 --> 00:16:06,047 We'll go down by the pool. 191 00:16:06,414 --> 00:16:08,852 And afterward we can take a cool dip. 192 00:16:09,392 --> 00:16:10,519 Alright. 193 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:13,785 There's one other little thing, Melvin. 194 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,042 You're not wearing pink. 195 00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:19,541 - Pink? - It's my favorite color. 196 00:16:20,202 --> 00:16:23,013 I have my pink on. 197 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:27,538 So, I brought this for you. 198 00:16:27,538 --> 00:16:32,535 - But this is sissy stuff. - Oh, no, Melvin. Pink makes me so hot. 199 00:16:33,008 --> 00:16:35,036 - It does. - Yes. 200 00:16:35,568 --> 00:16:39,876 If you put on your pink, I'll take off my pink. 201 00:16:45,366 --> 00:16:49,530 - I love pink! - Hurry up, I'll be waiting for you. 202 00:16:51,205 --> 00:16:53,360 - And bring your mop. - I will! 203 00:17:14,521 --> 00:17:19,518 - Julie? - Here I am, Melvin. 204 00:17:19,518 --> 00:17:23,212 It's so dark in here, where are you? I can't see you 205 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:27,016 I'm right here, Melvin. Come here. 206 00:17:27,734 --> 00:17:30,014 My lips are waiting for you, Melvin. 207 00:17:30,757 --> 00:17:33,244 Whoa, put your arms around me. 208 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:37,337 Oh, Julie! Julie! Oh, Julie! I'm here! 209 00:17:37,362 --> 00:17:39,510 Okay! Turn on the light! 210 00:17:42,101 --> 00:17:43,924 You're so soft, Julie. 211 00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:44,936 Baaa. 212 00:17:45,328 --> 00:17:46,328 Ooh! 213 00:19:15,308 --> 00:19:17,582 Ooh, he doesn't look very good to me. 214 00:19:17,621 --> 00:19:18,860 Aaahh! 215 00:19:21,469 --> 00:19:23,742 He's faking it, Julie! He's faking it. 216 00:19:27,923 --> 00:19:29,193 I think he's in trouble. 217 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,280 Julie, this guy, if he can't take a joke, he stinks. 218 00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:38,772 Get back! Get back! Step off! Get back! 219 00:19:38,821 --> 00:19:39,803 Get out of here! 220 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,522 Easy, guy. 221 00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,654 Melvin's on fire! Melvin's on fire! 222 00:20:17,232 --> 00:20:19,971 Melvin, dear, are you alright? 223 00:20:21,831 --> 00:20:23,578 Is anything the matter? 224 00:20:28,946 --> 00:20:32,255 God, my arms! Ow! Ow! 225 00:20:34,122 --> 00:20:35,342 Oh my feet! 226 00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:41,334 Oh my God! Ahhhhhh! 227 00:21:14,476 --> 00:21:16,178 Aaahhh! 228 00:21:16,702 --> 00:21:18,321 Are you okay? 229 00:21:33,273 --> 00:21:35,205 Melvin, dear, are you alright? 230 00:22:13,950 --> 00:22:19,950 My little Melvin! He must have finally reached puberty. 231 00:22:20,793 --> 00:22:22,336 Grrrr! 232 00:22:36,420 --> 00:22:38,593 One. Two. 233 00:22:38,928 --> 00:22:41,849 Three. Four. Five. 234 00:22:41,896 --> 00:22:44,612 When we lay this wad on, old Clancy. 235 00:22:44,644 --> 00:22:47,333 The boss is going to have him by the balls. 236 00:22:48,816 --> 00:22:51,229 I don't think old Clancy will take the money. 237 00:22:51,284 --> 00:22:53,939 Everyone says he's an honest cop. 238 00:22:53,986 --> 00:22:58,349 If he don't take the dough, I'm gonna give him a blow. 239 00:22:58,389 --> 00:22:59,099 Ha ha! 240 00:22:59,123 --> 00:23:01,365 A pair of knuckles. 241 00:23:06,415 --> 00:23:12,043 Well, if it ain't, Cigar Face. What are you and your friends up to? 242 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,833 We brought you a little present from the boss. 243 00:23:14,989 --> 00:23:15,770 Here. 244 00:23:53,310 --> 00:23:56,515 No way. You're wasting your time. 245 00:23:56,530 --> 00:23:58,639 No. That's where you're wrong. 246 00:23:59,043 --> 00:24:00,619 You're wasting our time. 247 00:24:02,695 --> 00:24:04,693 Now we're going to waste you! 248 00:24:05,894 --> 00:24:06,894 Ow! 249 00:24:08,776 --> 00:24:13,619 Now you're going to find out why they call me Cigar Face. 250 00:24:17,065 --> 00:24:20,586 Aaahh! 251 00:24:25,104 --> 00:24:26,327 Get him Nipples, yeah! 252 00:24:35,455 --> 00:24:36,708 Come on, now. Come on! 253 00:24:46,851 --> 00:24:48,516 What the matter, Clancy? 254 00:24:52,230 --> 00:24:53,481 Get him! 255 00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:08,544 Honest cops are all alike! A bunch of fuckin' fagots! 256 00:25:09,517 --> 00:25:12,697 What do you say, shall I blow his nose off or what? 257 00:25:12,967 --> 00:25:15,329 Boss says if he doesn't want to cooperate, 258 00:25:15,498 --> 00:25:18,019 we should make love to him. 259 00:25:18,917 --> 00:25:22,296 Well, whatever the boss says, goes. 260 00:25:23,326 --> 00:25:26,661 No... No, no, please! Please, oh God, please. 261 00:25:26,708 --> 00:25:30,156 No, no. No, please. Come on. I've got a family! 262 00:25:30,181 --> 00:25:32,341 Say your prayers, copper! 263 00:25:40,969 --> 00:25:41,985 Holy shit! 264 00:26:06,546 --> 00:26:11,001 Could that be the, O'Shanahee boy back from school. 265 00:26:12,746 --> 00:26:13,797 No! No! 266 00:26:19,638 --> 00:26:21,136 Grrr! 267 00:26:26,896 --> 00:26:27,918 Ow! 268 00:26:28,653 --> 00:26:32,400 Aaahhh! 269 00:26:44,883 --> 00:26:48,270 Aaaahhhh! 270 00:26:49,472 --> 00:26:52,859 Aaahhh! 271 00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:49,264 I'll get you for this, you monster faggot! 272 00:27:51,591 --> 00:27:53,940 Grrrr! 273 00:28:03,626 --> 00:28:05,666 Don't worry. Don't worry, I won't hurt you. 274 00:28:05,846 --> 00:28:07,242 I don't know what came over me. 275 00:28:08,943 --> 00:28:11,440 I just couldn't control myself. 276 00:28:11,463 --> 00:28:13,877 I've never done anything like this before. 277 00:28:25,186 --> 00:28:25,955 Bye. 278 00:28:27,934 --> 00:28:28,825 Quiet! 279 00:28:29,915 --> 00:28:32,694 Quiet! 280 00:28:33,126 --> 00:28:40,066 Now, you will raise your hand and you will ask one question at a time. 281 00:28:40,597 --> 00:28:42,094 Exactly where did it happen? 282 00:28:42,295 --> 00:28:44,476 It happened in Shinbone Alley. 283 00:28:44,692 --> 00:28:46,690 These three guys were going to kill me, see. 284 00:28:46,700 --> 00:28:50,696 And then of nowhere comes this thing, this monster, 285 00:28:50,741 --> 00:28:52,967 I never seen anything like it before. 286 00:28:53,006 --> 00:28:56,581 Because it took the three guys and threw them away. 287 00:28:56,674 --> 00:29:00,670 I don't know what it was but, but God bless him, 'cause he saved my life. 288 00:30:51,817 --> 00:30:53,226 Alright, boys. 289 00:30:53,874 --> 00:30:55,375 Chief, what have you got? 290 00:30:56,578 --> 00:31:00,263 That alleyway was the most gruesome sight I have ever seen. 291 00:31:00,606 --> 00:31:01,921 Gruesome, huh? 292 00:31:02,882 --> 00:31:04,882 Have you ever met my mother-in-law? 293 00:31:04,882 --> 00:31:06,883 Now, that's gruesome 294 00:31:06,883 --> 00:31:08,051 What about Cigar Face? 295 00:31:08,064 --> 00:31:09,787 Have we gotten anything out of him yet? 296 00:31:09,885 --> 00:31:12,890 He must still be in shock. All he does is sit around 297 00:31:12,890 --> 00:31:16,283 all day babbling about some seven foot monster. 298 00:31:16,306 --> 00:31:19,394 Yeah, and the only other clue we've got are those mops, 299 00:31:19,394 --> 00:31:21,396 stuffed in their mouths. 300 00:31:21,396 --> 00:31:25,915 Mops... It must be some sort of political statement. Do we have any suspects? 301 00:31:25,945 --> 00:31:30,871 Nah, the whole town is suspect. Knuckles and Nipples were hated by everyone. 302 00:31:30,904 --> 00:31:34,407 Not by me. They were our two best producers. 303 00:31:34,407 --> 00:31:36,408 Speaking of which, I almost forgot. 304 00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:40,339 The boys made their rounds last night and here is the collection. 305 00:31:40,369 --> 00:31:42,412 Yeah, and it would've been double if it wasn't for this 306 00:31:42,427 --> 00:31:45,430 devastating tragic turn of events. 307 00:31:45,656 --> 00:31:46,532 Yeah. 308 00:32:40,147 --> 00:32:41,147 Aah! 309 00:32:44,682 --> 00:32:47,917 Slug, will you stop with that Elephant Man bullshit. 310 00:32:47,967 --> 00:32:53,602 I am not an animal. I'm Melvin, the mop boy. 311 00:33:01,977 --> 00:33:04,886 - Who is it? - It's me, Ma. Melvin. 312 00:33:07,982 --> 00:33:11,889 Aah! 313 00:33:13,985 --> 00:33:16,502 Ma? Ah, Ma! 314 00:34:25,872 --> 00:34:29,653 Tom. Tom, is he dead? 315 00:34:29,976 --> 00:34:31,161 Hey, Tom. 316 00:34:32,549 --> 00:34:36,232 Yeah, over here. Tom, the zoning board has designated 317 00:34:36,256 --> 00:34:40,221 the old Rawlins Chemical Plant as the new toxic waste dump site. 318 00:34:41,056 --> 00:34:44,827 Now that's contaminated, but valuable waterfront property. 319 00:34:49,789 --> 00:34:53,792 We think it's a crime to let that property go to waste as a dump. 320 00:34:54,019 --> 00:34:57,279 You are aware, of course, that that would place our new toxic chemical dump 321 00:34:57,294 --> 00:35:00,119 just 20 feet from the reservoir for the entire area. 322 00:35:06,577 --> 00:35:09,062 Gentlemen, I think we have a deal. 323 00:35:11,094 --> 00:35:14,155 Here to better living through chemistry. 324 00:35:36,717 --> 00:35:40,220 Mr. Fred! Mr. Fred, what's wrong with this thing!? 325 00:35:55,130 --> 00:35:56,208 Alright, everybody! 326 00:35:56,234 --> 00:35:58,811 Drop your tacos or I'll blow your brains out! 327 00:36:01,808 --> 00:36:03,695 Rico, get the cash register! 328 00:36:03,738 --> 00:36:05,682 Okay, you got it! 329 00:36:07,252 --> 00:36:08,919 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 330 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,282 We are the entertainment for this afternoon. 331 00:36:12,403 --> 00:36:16,423 Now on shotgun, we've got my man Leroy. 332 00:36:17,501 --> 00:36:21,528 On cash register we've got magic fingers, Rico! 333 00:36:21,675 --> 00:36:22,607 That's me. 334 00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:26,946 And last but not least, yours truly Frank. 335 00:36:28,854 --> 00:36:29,909 On the stick. 336 00:36:32,606 --> 00:36:33,529 Shut up! 337 00:36:34,786 --> 00:36:37,099 Now if you all do just what we tell you, 338 00:36:37,118 --> 00:36:41,335 you just might, just might get your asses home all intact. 339 00:36:43,036 --> 00:36:47,972 Look who we got here! A little mother, and a littler baby. 340 00:36:49,291 --> 00:36:51,444 Do you like Mexican food, little baby? 341 00:36:52,279 --> 00:36:54,001 Well, How'd you like to have this hot tamale 342 00:36:54,032 --> 00:36:55,636 shoved down your throat? 343 00:36:58,252 --> 00:36:59,490 What are you looking at? 344 00:37:02,470 --> 00:37:04,932 Hey, Frank, teeny boppers! 345 00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:07,364 You like video games, teeny boppers? 346 00:37:07,474 --> 00:37:09,774 Your mom give you quarters for video games? 347 00:37:10,062 --> 00:37:11,211 Well, cough them up! 348 00:37:12,587 --> 00:37:15,088 Hey, this one's cute, Frank. 349 00:37:15,198 --> 00:37:17,556 Look how cute she is, Frank. 350 00:37:17,576 --> 00:37:19,328 Say, Leroy, I think she likes you. 351 00:37:27,129 --> 00:37:28,916 Hey, why don't you leave her alone? 352 00:37:31,352 --> 00:37:33,264 We'll give you our money, if you want money. 353 00:37:34,150 --> 00:37:36,441 Hey, look, pal, why don't you just let everyone go 354 00:37:36,457 --> 00:37:38,458 and keep me as a hostage, huh? 355 00:37:38,499 --> 00:37:38,975 Huh? 356 00:37:39,741 --> 00:37:41,930 That's an idea, ainft it, Frank? 357 00:37:42,501 --> 00:37:43,893 - Yeah. - No, thanks. 358 00:37:55,745 --> 00:37:58,524 Shut up! It was self defense. 359 00:38:01,620 --> 00:38:05,305 Yo, Leroy, check out this pretty little thing, 360 00:38:05,887 --> 00:38:07,924 and the bitch got a dog. 361 00:38:09,476 --> 00:38:12,467 Hey, wait a minute. I think this bitch is blind. 362 00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:14,693 Are you sure she is blind, Frank? 363 00:38:18,187 --> 00:38:20,335 Yeah, the bitch is blind. 364 00:38:20,586 --> 00:38:21,131 Ow! 365 00:38:21,330 --> 00:38:23,581 Hey, what are you doing? Don't do that! 366 00:38:23,597 --> 00:38:24,417 Let go of me! 367 00:38:26,037 --> 00:38:28,874 Yo, Leroy, you want to walk this damn dog! 368 00:38:29,812 --> 00:38:30,985 Yeah, sure, Frank. 369 00:38:35,256 --> 00:38:36,108 Gary? 370 00:38:38,288 --> 00:38:40,915 Harry! What have you done to my dog? 371 00:38:40,938 --> 00:38:42,870 I didn't do anything to the dog, but listen... 372 00:38:43,387 --> 00:38:44,461 Gary! Gary! 373 00:38:44,484 --> 00:38:45,908 You wanna meet my friend, Ben? 374 00:38:45,916 --> 00:38:48,389 We's make everything alright. Just let me introduce you to Ben. 375 00:38:48,542 --> 00:38:49,605 Ben who!? 376 00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:51,619 Ben Dover! 377 00:38:54,934 --> 00:38:59,939 Hey, Leroy, you know I always did want to cornhole me a blind bitch. 378 00:39:00,112 --> 00:39:01,112 Ow! 379 00:39:01,345 --> 00:39:02,694 I'm going to enjoy this! 380 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,261 Yeah, it's going to be nice. 381 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,567 What the shit!? 382 00:39:27,156 --> 00:39:28,886 Okay, you motherfucker! 383 00:39:32,089 --> 00:39:34,771 Aah! Aahh! 384 00:42:31,623 --> 00:42:35,046 No, no, no! We were only kidding! 385 00:42:35,503 --> 00:42:37,978 What's the matter? You can't take a joke? 386 00:42:38,435 --> 00:42:40,045 We were only kidding. 387 00:42:40,067 --> 00:42:42,343 Please, no! You can't do this to me! 388 00:42:45,540 --> 00:42:48,461 No! Please! Please, stop it! 389 00:42:48,503 --> 00:42:51,343 Stop, no! No! 390 00:42:51,615 --> 00:42:53,742 No! We were, we were only kidding! 391 00:43:07,957 --> 00:43:10,628 Grrr! Grrrrr! 392 00:43:36,896 --> 00:43:40,358 Please, please don't touch me! 393 00:43:41,290 --> 00:43:42,291 Please! 394 00:43:42,291 --> 00:43:45,293 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you. 395 00:43:45,604 --> 00:43:46,501 Are you okay? 396 00:43:46,732 --> 00:43:50,234 Yes, I think so. My dog! 397 00:43:50,578 --> 00:43:54,324 Those men killed my dog! They shot my dog! 398 00:43:54,877 --> 00:43:57,238 Could you take me out of here, please? 399 00:43:59,265 --> 00:44:03,510 Please. I'll never make it by myself without my dog. 400 00:44:03,532 --> 00:44:04,292 Please. 401 00:44:04,652 --> 00:44:08,811 Okay, alright, but come on, let's go out the back way. 402 00:44:09,178 --> 00:44:12,508 Hey, don't worry, I won't hurt you. Come on, I'll help you up. 403 00:44:39,429 --> 00:44:41,918 - Don't trip over the step, Melvin. - What? 404 00:44:44,341 --> 00:44:45,875 I'd better get my cane. 405 00:44:50,829 --> 00:44:51,932 Why don't you have a seat? 406 00:44:51,963 --> 00:44:53,321 There's a place for you on your left. 407 00:44:53,346 --> 00:44:54,347 Right over there. 408 00:44:54,356 --> 00:44:55,386 Ow! 409 00:44:55,699 --> 00:44:57,200 Would like you like something to eat? 410 00:44:57,352 --> 00:44:58,350 Uh-huh. 411 00:44:58,350 --> 00:45:00,115 Is peanut butter and jelly, okay? 412 00:45:00,148 --> 00:45:00,911 Uh-huh. 413 00:45:01,213 --> 00:45:02,098 Good. 414 00:45:03,356 --> 00:45:04,356 Grr! 415 00:45:04,692 --> 00:45:06,719 Now, boys, what have we got here? 416 00:45:07,664 --> 00:45:10,417 Looks like we got a nice crispy taco supreme over here, chief. 417 00:45:13,614 --> 00:45:16,491 Looks like I got a a strawberry thickshake over here. 418 00:45:18,594 --> 00:45:19,596 What have you got? 419 00:45:19,650 --> 00:45:21,833 I've got a pizza with the works to go, Jimmy. 420 00:45:22,736 --> 00:45:26,740 Chief, it was unbelievable. It had an eye up over here, 421 00:45:27,124 --> 00:45:29,127 His nose was twisted to the side. 422 00:45:29,406 --> 00:45:30,073 Huh? 423 00:45:30,108 --> 00:45:32,520 It was the strangest thing I ever saw in my life. 424 00:45:32,534 --> 00:45:36,052 Sure. But it was a pink elephant, too. 425 00:45:36,092 --> 00:45:38,491 I'm telling ya, these guys were going to kill us. 426 00:45:38,795 --> 00:45:42,307 It saved our lives. It was a hero. 427 00:45:42,324 --> 00:45:43,609 A hero! 428 00:45:45,732 --> 00:45:46,869 This guy is drunk. 429 00:47:39,349 --> 00:47:41,416 Would you mind if I touched your face? 430 00:47:41,437 --> 00:47:42,013 No! 431 00:47:42,039 --> 00:47:45,948 No? Why not? I won't hurt you, Melvin. 432 00:47:45,979 --> 00:47:50,473 It's not that. It's just that I have a rash on my face. 433 00:47:50,482 --> 00:47:52,908 A rash? You mean acne? 434 00:47:52,929 --> 00:47:55,981 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it. It's nothing to worry about 435 00:47:55,981 --> 00:47:57,823 but I wouldn't want you to touch it. 436 00:47:57,823 --> 00:48:00,318 You shouldn't be ashamed of acne. 437 00:48:00,318 --> 00:48:03,314 Everybody's had acne at one time or another. 438 00:48:03,314 --> 00:48:06,704 Hey, I know. Would you like me to tell your fortune? 439 00:48:06,747 --> 00:48:07,422 Huh? 440 00:48:07,463 --> 00:48:10,034 I read palms. Give me your hand. 441 00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,456 What big hands you have. 442 00:48:16,142 --> 00:48:17,998 I bet you're very strong. 443 00:48:18,615 --> 00:48:21,288 Hmm. Let me see. You're going to have 444 00:48:21,288 --> 00:48:24,784 a lot of good things coming too you in the future. 445 00:48:24,784 --> 00:48:27,779 You're going to become a very important man. 446 00:48:28,279 --> 00:48:30,372 Let me see your other hand. 447 00:48:31,273 --> 00:48:34,213 Grr? Grrrrr! 448 00:48:35,328 --> 00:48:37,833 Oops! Sorry. 449 00:48:45,723 --> 00:48:47,535 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 450 00:48:47,768 --> 00:48:50,924 With us this afternoon is, Dr. Mertyn Snodberger 451 00:48:51,246 --> 00:48:54,741 from the Garden State State Cerebral Reflex Research Center. 452 00:48:54,741 --> 00:48:56,909 Ah, can you tell me, sir, 453 00:48:56,925 --> 00:49:00,233 is it true that the monster only attacks bad people? 454 00:49:00,552 --> 00:49:06,201 Ja. Ja. Since only bad, evil people have been destroyed 455 00:49:06,225 --> 00:49:11,716 by the monster, I would have to answer your question. Ja. 456 00:49:12,134 --> 00:49:15,314 From traces that have been found on the scenes 457 00:49:15,336 --> 00:49:19,704 of the crime, and analyzed, we have determined 458 00:49:19,704 --> 00:49:23,198 that whatever it is, this monster has been exposed 459 00:49:23,198 --> 00:49:26,257 to toxic chemical waste. 460 00:49:26,896 --> 00:49:28,363 Achoo! 461 00:49:33,185 --> 00:49:38,178 It is also highly probable that this monster may 462 00:49:38,178 --> 00:49:42,171 have developed a very basic instinct which draws him, 463 00:49:42,171 --> 00:49:48,390 or should I say, commands him to destroy evil. 464 00:50:06,580 --> 00:50:09,368 That new camera really captures the moment! 465 00:50:09,436 --> 00:50:13,768 I know. The reds are so red! Really get me hot! 466 00:50:56,623 --> 00:50:57,412 Mr. Mayor? 467 00:50:57,434 --> 00:50:57,975 Yeah? 468 00:50:57,988 --> 00:51:01,986 I got todayfs receipts from the drug division. Ha ha! 469 00:51:02,445 --> 00:51:04,941 Good boy, Dennis. Put it over there on the table. 470 00:51:05,090 --> 00:51:06,608 Bookie will get to it later. 471 00:51:29,121 --> 00:51:30,425 Grr! 472 00:51:30,425 --> 00:51:31,283 Aahhh! 473 00:51:52,300 --> 00:51:54,974 Grrr! 474 00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:37,714 Listen, you asshole, how many times are you going to 475 00:53:37,732 --> 00:53:39,267 pull that Elephant Man joke? 476 00:53:41,860 --> 00:53:43,657 - Grrr! - Aahhh! 477 00:53:56,129 --> 00:53:58,055 Let this be a lesson to you, hot ass! 478 00:54:06,157 --> 00:54:10,154 This monster may have developed a very basic instinct, 479 00:54:10,191 --> 00:54:13,154 to destroy evil. 480 00:54:13,737 --> 00:54:15,908 Hey, you! In the alley! 481 00:54:15,921 --> 00:54:21,668 Hey, knucklehead! How about some nice young poontang, huh? 482 00:54:21,695 --> 00:54:25,556 No! No, take me home! No, take me home! 483 00:54:25,566 --> 00:54:27,480 No, you lied to me! 484 00:54:27,526 --> 00:54:30,575 You said you were going to take me to see the David Bowie concert! 485 00:54:30,615 --> 00:54:32,402 He's not David Bowie! 486 00:54:33,597 --> 00:54:38,257 Only twelve years old, and only twelve dollars! 487 00:54:42,973 --> 00:54:45,349 Boys! Boys! Help! 488 00:54:49,423 --> 00:54:51,923 Help, boys! Help! 489 00:54:57,183 --> 00:54:58,034 Aaahh! 490 00:55:24,485 --> 00:55:26,569 And you can tell all your scum friends that things 491 00:55:26,583 --> 00:55:28,872 are going to change in this town! 492 00:55:29,049 --> 00:55:30,752 I'm not just another pretty face! 493 00:55:31,579 --> 00:55:33,201 Grrr! 494 00:55:57,656 --> 00:56:00,712 Two prime candidates. 495 00:56:00,775 --> 00:56:01,950 Yeah. 496 00:56:02,156 --> 00:56:03,877 Rack 'em up! 497 00:58:07,100 --> 00:58:09,114 I hear the monster is so big. 498 00:58:09,131 --> 00:58:11,632 Well, I bet he's got his eye on me. 499 00:58:11,748 --> 00:58:14,322 For your information, everyone knows Monster Prefer Blondes! 500 00:58:14,348 --> 00:58:16,953 There's a feeling going around town that this monster 501 00:58:16,961 --> 00:58:18,921 is here to protect the people. 502 00:58:19,163 --> 00:58:22,036 And the jail's are becoming overcrowded. 503 00:58:22,041 --> 00:58:25,759 This monster has cleaned the streets of every criminal. 504 00:58:25,844 --> 00:58:30,877 Almost all the criminals. He hasn't gotten us yet. 505 00:58:30,877 --> 00:58:33,323 What the hell are we going to do about this monster, eh? 506 00:58:33,340 --> 00:58:36,147 I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to kill him. 507 00:58:36,244 --> 00:58:41,037 Because if we don't kill him, he's going to kill us. 508 00:58:45,354 --> 00:58:46,084 Grrr! 509 00:58:46,135 --> 00:58:49,428 I owe you for the other night, monster fagot! 510 00:58:49,493 --> 00:58:50,750 Grrr! 511 00:58:54,302 --> 00:58:57,515 So now we're going to give you six new assholes, 512 00:58:57,607 --> 00:59:00,412 compliments of me, Cigar Face! 513 00:59:01,225 --> 00:59:02,446 Grrr! 514 00:59:10,438 --> 00:59:11,948 Grr! 515 00:59:16,457 --> 00:59:19,756 Boom! You should've seen it! His teeth was everywhere! 516 00:59:19,801 --> 00:59:21,816 They looked like Chiclets! 517 00:59:22,451 --> 00:59:24,764 Hey, what are you doing, blondie? 518 00:59:25,054 --> 00:59:26,566 I'm waiting for my boyfriend. 519 00:59:26,746 --> 00:59:28,019 She's waiting for her boyfriend. 520 00:59:28,053 --> 00:59:30,881 Well, maybe I'm going to be your boyfriend, baby! 521 00:59:31,538 --> 00:59:34,825 Hey, stop that! My boyfriend won't like that! 522 00:59:34,876 --> 00:59:38,138 Maybe we'll have to take care of that wimp of a boyfriend, huh? 523 00:59:38,878 --> 00:59:39,789 Melvin! Melvin! 524 00:59:40,124 --> 00:59:40,931 Melvin! 525 00:59:40,958 --> 00:59:42,071 Melvin!? 526 00:59:42,139 --> 00:59:43,086 Melvin! 527 00:59:43,576 --> 00:59:46,545 Yeah, Melvin. What's up, guys? 528 00:59:47,496 --> 00:59:50,151 Aah! 529 01:00:07,024 --> 01:00:11,687 Why, Melvin, you're beautiful. You're a beautiful person. 530 01:00:13,651 --> 01:00:19,003 You're so muscular. It's been two years since I touched a man. 531 01:00:22,685 --> 01:00:27,789 What are you doing to me? I've never felt like this before. 532 01:04:58,914 --> 01:04:59,974 Murderer! 533 01:05:00,139 --> 01:05:02,463 - Aaahhh! - Grrrrrr! 534 01:05:05,036 --> 01:05:07,116 I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget! 535 01:05:07,148 --> 01:05:08,770 Aaahh! 536 01:05:23,496 --> 01:05:24,160 No! 537 01:05:24,202 --> 01:05:25,499 Sorry, madam. 538 01:05:33,868 --> 01:05:37,198 Open up please, open up! 539 01:05:38,367 --> 01:05:42,363 Help me! Oh, please open up! Help me! 540 01:05:45,636 --> 01:05:46,634 Grrr! 541 01:05:46,642 --> 01:05:48,922 Aaahh! 542 01:05:49,387 --> 01:05:50,419 Going up? 543 01:05:53,487 --> 01:05:56,451 Let me out Let me out! Please, someone help me! 544 01:05:56,991 --> 01:05:58,485 Aaahh! 545 01:06:01,019 --> 01:06:03,013 Aaahhh! 546 01:07:10,136 --> 01:07:14,989 Aah! She's stressing me, Slug! Julie is stressing me, Slug! 547 01:07:15,003 --> 01:07:17,034 I can't take it! I cannot take this, Slug! 548 01:07:17,236 --> 01:07:19,048 She's not here with car and I've got to drive. 549 01:07:19,091 --> 01:07:20,602 I gotta drive, Slug! I gotta drive! 550 01:07:20,603 --> 01:07:22,519 Alright, already. Alright. Will you chill out? 551 01:07:28,211 --> 01:07:32,453 Hey, how would you like to be behind the wheel 552 01:07:32,478 --> 01:07:34,792 of a beautiful Japanese import? 553 01:07:37,868 --> 01:07:39,640 Oh, that would be good! 554 01:07:43,569 --> 01:07:45,566 Hi, can we help? 555 01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:47,211 Oh, you sure can. 556 01:07:48,562 --> 01:07:51,559 Thank you so much. Oh, it's so nice to have you 557 01:07:51,559 --> 01:07:53,930 boys like you here in the neighborhood. 558 01:07:55,189 --> 01:07:57,455 Aahh! 559 01:07:58,045 --> 01:07:58,999 Aahhh! 560 01:08:00,112 --> 01:08:03,833 Oh, what a feeling, today! 561 01:08:14,017 --> 01:08:17,011 Did you see her face when I punched her? 562 01:08:17,011 --> 01:08:19,236 I beat that old lady like a dog! 563 01:08:21,505 --> 01:08:23,224 Slug, there's that thing again! 564 01:08:25,199 --> 01:08:26,364 Let's get it! 565 01:08:33,732 --> 01:08:35,743 Shit! he's on the roof! He's on the roof! 566 01:08:36,227 --> 01:08:38,090 Get him off! He's going to kill both of us! 567 01:08:38,856 --> 01:08:41,051 Swerve the car, Bozo! Swerve the car! 568 01:08:42,489 --> 01:08:44,214 I can't control the car! 569 01:08:50,756 --> 01:08:52,861 He's still there, swerve it again! Swerve it again! 570 01:09:00,438 --> 01:09:02,933 I can't get him off the car, Slug! I can't get him off! 571 01:09:07,541 --> 01:09:09,037 Slug, I'm going to die! 572 01:09:09,449 --> 01:09:12,012 Take the wheel, Slug! Take the wheel! 573 01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:13,996 I'm stressed! 574 01:09:14,411 --> 01:09:15,361 Ah, what? 575 01:09:16,594 --> 01:09:17,594 What? 576 01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:21,087 Aaaahhh! 577 01:09:24,971 --> 01:09:26,469 Get out of here! 578 01:09:31,814 --> 01:09:32,566 No! 579 01:09:37,144 --> 01:09:38,837 See how you like this face, huh, Bozo? 580 01:09:38,983 --> 01:09:41,589 You know who this is? It's Melvin, that's who it is! 581 01:10:04,823 --> 01:10:07,355 Hey, hey, hey, what about the kid on the bike, Bozo? 582 01:10:07,412 --> 01:10:09,908 How does it feel to hit a kid on a bike? Feels good! 583 01:10:11,317 --> 01:10:14,165 I've got problems! I've got problems! I'm a stressed person! 584 01:10:19,215 --> 01:10:20,167 No, no! 585 01:10:58,097 --> 01:10:59,354 Give me the wheel! 586 01:11:02,222 --> 01:11:04,765 Just give me the wheel! You'll going to kill both of us! 587 01:11:06,962 --> 01:11:10,956 You want the wheel? Here, take the wheel! 588 01:11:12,685 --> 01:11:16,804 Aaahhh! 589 01:11:17,912 --> 01:11:22,101 Grrr! Ha ha! 590 01:12:22,581 --> 01:12:24,998 Yoohoo! Mr. Wilson! 591 01:12:25,078 --> 01:12:27,103 Mrs Haskel, how are you? 592 01:12:27,212 --> 01:12:28,430 Fine, thank you. 593 01:12:28,460 --> 01:12:29,959 How are the boys? 594 01:12:30,245 --> 01:12:33,888 Those boys are such terrors. Especially Scott. 595 01:12:34,007 --> 01:12:37,242 He took his best girl out last night and he came home 596 01:12:37,276 --> 01:12:40,056 with these stains, all over his pants. 597 01:12:40,663 --> 01:12:42,294 I don't know what they are. 598 01:12:42,659 --> 01:12:43,867 I don't either. 599 01:12:43,892 --> 01:12:45,390 Do you think you can get them out? 600 01:12:47,076 --> 01:12:50,568 My car! They're putting a ticket on my car! 601 01:12:50,827 --> 01:12:53,492 Mrs. Haskel, don't move. Donft' move. Stay right where you are. 602 01:12:53,508 --> 01:12:54,370 I'll be right back. 603 01:12:54,389 --> 01:12:57,133 You can't give me a ticket! You can't give me a ticket! I have to go to a funeral-- 604 01:13:00,760 --> 01:13:02,710 Hey, who do you think you're pushing? 605 01:13:04,123 --> 01:13:05,215 What do you want? 606 01:13:05,878 --> 01:13:08,693 Stay away from me! Stay away from me! 607 01:13:08,703 --> 01:13:12,623 Help! Help! Help! Help! 608 01:13:12,659 --> 01:13:16,662 Stay away from me! Stay away from me! Help! 609 01:13:17,040 --> 01:13:19,036 Help! Help! 610 01:13:19,528 --> 01:13:20,304 What the...? 611 01:13:22,708 --> 01:13:24,990 Put me down! I didn't do anything! 612 01:13:31,748 --> 01:13:33,801 No Dickie here. No washie. 613 01:13:44,257 --> 01:13:48,252 Please, don't give me a ticket! Please, don't give me a ticket! 614 01:13:53,389 --> 01:13:56,384 Okay, Mrs. Haskel, let's see what we can do with these stains. 615 01:13:56,416 --> 01:14:00,282 Mrs. Haskel. Mrs. Haskel, what are you doing back there? 616 01:14:00,383 --> 01:14:02,967 You know customers are not allowed on that machine. 617 01:14:03,887 --> 01:14:05,383 Mrs. Haskel. 618 01:14:06,896 --> 01:14:08,273 Aah! 619 01:14:53,456 --> 01:14:55,520 Melvin, is that you? 620 01:14:59,545 --> 01:15:00,848 Melvin? 621 01:15:05,594 --> 01:15:06,733 Who's there? 622 01:15:08,371 --> 01:15:09,592 Who is that? 623 01:15:22,018 --> 01:15:25,012 It's me, Sarah. Only me. 624 01:15:25,753 --> 01:15:28,935 You scared me. Is something wrong? 625 01:15:28,965 --> 01:15:30,960 Everything is wrong. 626 01:15:31,710 --> 01:15:33,707 What the matter? What have I done? 627 01:15:33,801 --> 01:15:37,794 No, it's not what you've done. It's what I've done. 628 01:15:37,984 --> 01:15:39,980 I think I'm out of control. 629 01:15:40,034 --> 01:15:43,923 You see, you're blind, Sara. You don't know who I am. 630 01:15:45,023 --> 01:15:48,519 I'm really the monster hero you heard about. 631 01:15:48,519 --> 01:15:51,512 And everyday I go out and I mash people. 632 01:15:51,604 --> 01:15:54,099 I tear them apart and I can't stop. 633 01:15:54,578 --> 01:15:55,875 You better move back to your apartment. 634 01:15:55,911 --> 01:15:57,418 I don't think its safe for you to be around me. 635 01:15:57,440 --> 01:16:02,452 Oh, Melvin. I couldn't leave you now. I love you, Melvin. 636 01:16:04,512 --> 01:16:07,008 I wish we could go somewhere. 637 01:16:07,484 --> 01:16:12,079 Yeah, some far away place. Where there are no people. 638 01:16:12,108 --> 01:16:14,520 Where I can't kill anybody. 639 01:16:14,575 --> 01:16:17,568 What about that spot near Millers farm that you told me about? 640 01:16:17,967 --> 01:16:19,963 Where you used to go to be alone. 641 01:16:19,963 --> 01:16:22,301 You said that was a very special place. 642 01:16:22,324 --> 01:16:25,801 Well, we could try it. 643 01:16:26,953 --> 01:16:29,448 Do you think I look inconspicuous enough? 644 01:16:29,448 --> 01:16:31,942 I'll feel better when we get to the campsite. 645 01:16:34,696 --> 01:16:35,831 Mayor, Mayor! 646 01:16:35,867 --> 01:16:38,857 Chief, look. Our monster made a little bit of a mistake. 647 01:16:39,295 --> 01:16:41,291 You can't go around dry cleaning little old ladies 648 01:16:41,331 --> 01:16:43,327 the public won't stand for it. 649 01:16:43,421 --> 01:16:45,574 We can kill him now with no flack from anybody. 650 01:16:45,580 --> 01:16:48,013 Nein, nein. Bad news, Mayor, 651 01:16:48,414 --> 01:16:51,635 That old lady was hardly a pillar of the community. 652 01:16:51,688 --> 01:16:55,900 In fact, she can a head of an international white slavery ring. 653 01:16:55,899 --> 01:16:56,273 Shit... 654 01:16:56,445 --> 01:16:59,013 And she had a police record a mile long. 655 01:16:59,535 --> 01:17:00,688 We've got to cover this up. 656 01:17:00,891 --> 01:17:03,107 If it ever gets out to the press we're sunk. 657 01:17:03,135 --> 01:17:06,199 And I want you to do me a favor. Kill that bastard for me! You got it? 658 01:17:06,213 --> 01:17:06,766 Kill him! 659 01:17:06,802 --> 01:17:08,300 Yes, mein fuhrer. Mein mayor! 660 01:17:08,877 --> 01:17:11,373 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. 661 01:17:11,631 --> 01:17:14,127 Mayor Peter Bellgoode will now take questions 662 01:17:14,367 --> 01:17:16,317 from the ladies and gentlemen of the press. 663 01:17:20,153 --> 01:17:21,359 Uh, Miss Fink. 664 01:17:21,690 --> 01:17:25,183 What your administration stance in regards to this alleged monster? 665 01:17:25,183 --> 01:17:26,679 Is he a menace or a miracle? 666 01:17:27,065 --> 01:17:30,060 He's definitely a menace, Miss Fink. Right now therefs a massive 667 01:17:30,076 --> 01:17:34,054 search underway to find the thing and destroy it. 668 01:17:35,331 --> 01:17:36,828 Yes, Mr. Leonard? 669 01:17:36,828 --> 01:17:38,825 Instead of trying to kill him, shouldn't we be trying 670 01:17:38,825 --> 01:17:41,650 to capture him, bring him in, study him? 671 01:17:41,673 --> 01:17:46,622 It is not a human being. It is an it. You kill an it. 672 01:17:46,771 --> 01:17:47,924 Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor. 673 01:17:47,947 --> 01:17:48,775 Yes, Mr. Williams? 674 01:17:48,962 --> 01:17:52,213 The victim killed in the dry cleaners, Mrs, ah, Haskel. 675 01:17:52,550 --> 01:17:54,270 What's her background? What do we know about her? 676 01:17:54,295 --> 01:17:57,790 Mrs. Haskel was a member of our community for over 30 years. 677 01:17:58,292 --> 01:18:02,285 Also a member of the PTA. She had two fine sons. 678 01:18:02,285 --> 01:18:04,024 Everyone that know her, loved her. 679 01:18:04,403 --> 01:18:07,080 Question! Question! Are you certain, Mr. Mayor, 680 01:18:07,097 --> 01:18:08,884 that the chief Himmel and the police department 681 01:18:08,912 --> 01:18:10,849 can handle the situation in Tromaville? 682 01:18:10,887 --> 01:18:14,262 I have the utmost regard for the chief, and his department. 683 01:18:14,667 --> 01:18:16,663 As I've said, he's conducting a massive search 684 01:18:16,678 --> 01:18:18,178 for the monster right now. 685 01:18:18,489 --> 01:18:21,981 I want this thing found and I want this thing killed! 686 01:18:22,247 --> 01:18:25,243 The mayor has notified the governor and he's prepared 687 01:18:25,243 --> 01:18:27,736 to give us all the assistance we need. 688 01:18:27,736 --> 01:18:29,736 Should we break out the heavy weapons? 689 01:18:29,736 --> 01:18:30,735 Come on, boys. 690 01:18:30,735 --> 01:18:33,229 I'd be dead right now if it wasn't for the monster! 691 01:18:33,229 --> 01:18:36,722 Don't you think you're being a bit hasty? 692 01:18:36,722 --> 01:18:40,718 Clancy, you will do as you're told or you'll find yourself 693 01:18:40,718 --> 01:18:43,711 walking a beat in the city dump! 694 01:18:43,734 --> 01:18:48,725 Now I want this thing shot and I want you to shoot to kill! 695 01:18:49,020 --> 01:18:52,687 That monster saved my life. He's done a lot of good for this town. 696 01:18:52,701 --> 01:18:54,697 Why are they going to kill him? 697 01:18:55,080 --> 01:18:57,579 We should speak out! Do something! 698 01:18:57,593 --> 01:18:59,590 Roy, why don't you do something! Speak out! 699 01:18:59,878 --> 01:19:02,044 You want me to speak up? If I speak up, 700 01:19:02,060 --> 01:19:05,152 I lose my business license. If I lose my business license, 701 01:19:05,174 --> 01:19:07,667 I'm dead. Do you want another shake? 702 01:19:07,667 --> 01:19:10,664 No! I want them not to kill the monster. 703 01:19:10,857 --> 01:19:12,355 I want us to do something! 704 01:19:12,658 --> 01:19:15,155 Listen, Johnny, you're just a kid. 705 01:19:15,155 --> 01:19:18,149 People can't go around doing things just because they're right. 706 01:19:18,149 --> 01:19:20,146 We have to leave these decisions up to the mayor 707 01:19:20,146 --> 01:19:22,143 - and the police chief. - That's right. 708 01:19:22,143 --> 01:19:24,140 But why would the mayor want to destroy something 709 01:19:24,140 --> 01:19:27,134 that does more good than the entire police force? 710 01:19:28,633 --> 01:19:30,130 No offense. 711 01:19:30,130 --> 01:19:33,122 I know how you feel, Johnny, he saved my life too. 712 01:19:33,122 --> 01:19:37,119 But us, little guys, are just not qualified to make these decisions. 713 01:19:37,119 --> 01:19:39,613 That's why he's the mayor. 714 01:19:39,613 --> 01:19:41,608 Right? 715 01:20:55,354 --> 01:20:58,846 We're gonna find that bastard, now. Come on. Come on, girl! 716 01:20:58,873 --> 01:20:59,813 Heel. Come on. 717 01:20:59,973 --> 01:21:02,599 My first day on the force and I'm chasing monsters! 718 01:21:08,326 --> 01:21:09,879 The dogs got a scent! 719 01:21:15,058 --> 01:21:17,813 I'm missing the ball game for this bullshit! 720 01:21:17,805 --> 01:21:19,300 We ain't going to find no monster out here, 721 01:21:19,300 --> 01:21:22,793 all we're going to find is a bunch of mosquitoes biting my fuckin' asshole! 722 01:21:22,793 --> 01:21:24,789 Shut your fuckin' mouth! 723 01:21:25,054 --> 01:21:26,834 Hold on a second, I think I see something. 724 01:21:26,852 --> 01:21:27,973 You don't see nothing but a couple 725 01:21:27,989 --> 01:21:30,776 of campers humping each other. Come on, let's go home! 726 01:21:30,776 --> 01:21:32,771 Holy shit! It's the monster! 727 01:21:32,771 --> 01:21:33,769 Oh, sure! 728 01:21:33,769 --> 01:21:35,266 And he's got a bimbo with him! 729 01:21:35,763 --> 01:21:37,261 Oh, he's got your Mama with him! 730 01:21:37,261 --> 01:21:39,756 And she's wearing a bikini! Wow! 731 01:21:39,779 --> 01:21:41,273 Wait, let me see! 732 01:21:41,750 --> 01:21:44,677 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 733 01:21:46,738 --> 01:21:49,964 Come on, let's go tell the chief! I'm going to get me a medal for this! 734 01:21:49,972 --> 01:21:51,634 Mayor! Mayor! Mayor! 735 01:21:52,549 --> 01:21:55,700 The monster has been sighted in a field near Miller farm. 736 01:21:55,719 --> 01:21:56,719 That's wonderful! 737 01:21:56,719 --> 01:21:59,711 I'll have the National Guard meet us out there in full force. 738 01:21:59,711 --> 01:22:00,460 You leave now! 739 01:22:00,589 --> 01:22:01,473 Ja! 740 01:22:02,205 --> 01:22:05,199 Hello, Mr. Governor, how are you, sir? 741 01:22:05,660 --> 01:22:08,193 Fine, just fine. 742 01:22:08,193 --> 01:22:12,117 Governor, I need your help, sir. 743 01:22:12,147 --> 01:22:14,898 It's about this monster that's been terrorizing my town. 744 01:22:15,138 --> 01:22:18,695 The local authorities can no longer handle the situation. 745 01:22:20,063 --> 01:22:21,598 That's why I need your help. 746 01:22:22,456 --> 01:22:24,169 The National Guard? 747 01:22:24,656 --> 01:22:27,451 I was hoping you'd say that, so we can kill it. 748 01:22:30,253 --> 01:22:35,115 Capture it? Well, I was thinking the very same thing. 749 01:22:35,592 --> 01:22:40,084 Yes, capture would be fine. Uh-huh. Well, thank you, Governor. 750 01:22:40,550 --> 01:22:43,546 Talk to you soon. Goodbye, sir. 751 01:22:46,938 --> 01:22:48,927 Capture, my ass! 752 01:26:11,443 --> 01:26:14,120 I don't like the way this is going sargent. 753 01:26:14,138 --> 01:26:15,638 I know. 754 01:26:15,679 --> 01:26:18,017 The little people think he's done a lot for this town. 755 01:26:23,449 --> 01:26:27,836 Oh, my God! They're calling in the National Guard! 756 01:26:27,874 --> 01:26:30,172 Oh, look at all those men! 757 01:26:30,172 --> 01:26:31,673 Oh, I hope they don't hurt the monster. 758 01:26:31,673 --> 01:26:34,139 Monster, they aught to give him a medal, not kill him. 759 01:26:38,670 --> 01:26:42,566 They're going to nuke him! They're going to nuke the monster! 760 01:26:49,163 --> 01:26:52,164 - They found the monster! - He's at the Miller Farm! 761 01:26:52,195 --> 01:26:53,439 They're going to kill him! 762 01:26:53,497 --> 01:26:56,468 Holy cow! We can't let him die! 763 01:26:57,956 --> 01:26:59,956 Let's go! 764 01:27:46,022 --> 01:27:47,022 Out of the way! 765 01:27:47,568 --> 01:27:48,592 Stand aside. 766 01:27:48,637 --> 01:27:51,581 Tent's in the clearing, Mayor. My troops have it surrounded. 767 01:27:51,613 --> 01:27:52,902 We think he's still asleep. 768 01:27:53,180 --> 01:27:55,985 Fine, we'll move in and wipe him out. 769 01:27:56,195 --> 01:27:59,202 You can't do that, Mayor. I've rechecked with headquarters 770 01:27:59,218 --> 01:28:01,394 They want us to take him alive, not kill him. 771 01:28:01,390 --> 01:28:03,388 Your in charge, Pete. Come on, give the orders! 772 01:28:03,405 --> 01:28:06,635 Mr.mayor, please, please, think of what you are doing! 773 01:28:07,184 --> 01:28:08,995 There's an innocent girl in there with him! 774 01:28:10,235 --> 01:28:12,018 Just one life for the whole town! 775 01:28:12,197 --> 01:28:14,009 But, Mr Mayor, you don't understand! 776 01:28:14,095 --> 01:28:16,164 He saved my life! He doesn't deserve to die! 777 01:28:16,202 --> 01:28:17,001 Shut up! 778 01:28:17,048 --> 01:28:20,046 Now you don't understand the seriousness of this situation here, boy! 779 01:28:20,154 --> 01:28:24,154 How dare you discuss my son's life or death like this. 780 01:28:24,591 --> 01:28:27,173 I'm Melvin's mother. He's a good boy. 781 01:28:27,621 --> 01:28:29,468 He's never hurt anybody! 782 01:28:31,564 --> 01:28:36,373 Silence! Silence! The orders have been given! 783 01:28:36,931 --> 01:28:40,256 It is our destiny to follow the orders! 784 01:28:49,921 --> 01:28:53,799 You in the tent, come out with your hands up! 785 01:28:53,890 --> 01:28:55,249 You are surrounded! 786 01:28:56,327 --> 01:28:57,381 Grrr? 787 01:28:59,429 --> 01:29:01,151 The minute he comes out, kill him. 788 01:29:03,472 --> 01:29:04,974 - I'm coming with you. - No, you're not. 789 01:29:05,003 --> 01:29:06,240 You've got to stay here. 790 01:29:06,272 --> 01:29:10,828 No, I can't let you do it! He's a hero. I can't let you do it! I can't let you do it! 791 01:29:10,852 --> 01:29:13,349 Don't shoot him! Don't shoot! 792 01:29:13,376 --> 01:29:16,149 If you want to shoot my son, you'll have to shoot me first! 793 01:29:24,304 --> 01:29:26,728 Okay, lads. Get these kids out of there! 794 01:29:28,596 --> 01:29:30,594 It's okay, Mom. Kids. 795 01:29:30,617 --> 01:29:31,616 Shoot it! 796 01:29:31,679 --> 01:29:33,179 Run! Run! Grrr! 797 01:29:33,666 --> 01:29:34,659 Fire! 798 01:29:34,693 --> 01:29:37,055 No, I won't do it. 799 01:29:37,156 --> 01:29:38,799 These kids are right. 800 01:29:44,265 --> 01:29:45,804 Captain, have your men fire! 801 01:29:45,822 --> 01:29:47,099 No, I can't. 802 01:29:47,383 --> 01:29:48,883 Shoot them! You shoot! 803 01:29:55,349 --> 01:29:56,171 Fire! 804 01:29:56,177 --> 01:29:57,210 Melvin! 805 01:29:57,230 --> 01:29:58,731 Alright, I'll do it myself! 806 01:29:59,003 --> 01:30:00,066 No! 807 01:30:00,705 --> 01:30:03,184 You touch me again and I'll kill you! 808 01:30:21,807 --> 01:30:23,251 Get away from me! 809 01:30:24,977 --> 01:30:26,303 Get away from me! 810 01:30:27,993 --> 01:30:30,896 No! Ah, get away from me! 811 01:30:31,175 --> 01:30:33,324 Leave me alone! Look, I'll make you a deal! 812 01:30:33,677 --> 01:30:35,776 I'll give you 10%, anything, just leave alone! 813 01:30:35,893 --> 01:30:36,657 Grr! 814 01:30:36,658 --> 01:30:39,163 Don't hurt me! I'm too young to die! 815 01:30:39,196 --> 01:30:40,698 Please don't hurt me! 816 01:30:40,713 --> 01:30:43,645 Please! 817 01:30:44,725 --> 01:30:47,564 You fat slob, let's see if you have any guts! 818 01:30:49,685 --> 01:30:52,683 Aaahhh! 819 01:31:03,537 --> 01:31:08,044 Officer O'Clancy, take care of this toxic waste. 820 01:31:11,559 --> 01:31:12,762 Melvin! 821 01:31:13,152 --> 01:31:13,880 Sarah! 822 01:31:14,257 --> 01:31:15,260 Melvin! 823 01:31:15,278 --> 01:31:16,222 Sara! 824 01:31:16,392 --> 01:31:17,900 Melvin! Ah! 825 01:31:18,148 --> 01:31:19,290 Sarah! 826 01:31:19,312 --> 01:31:20,438 Melvin! 827 01:31:20,672 --> 01:31:21,986 Sarah! 828 01:31:22,050 --> 01:31:23,169 Melvin? 829 01:31:23,773 --> 01:31:24,612 Sarah! 830 01:31:48,035 --> 01:31:52,034 So, Melvin, the monster hero, rid Tromaville of all of it's evils, 831 01:31:52,040 --> 01:31:55,609 so the good citizens could live their lives in peace and happiness. 832 01:31:56,832 --> 01:31:59,692 And the next time you're in danger or in need to help, 833 01:32:00,046 --> 01:32:03,922 look to the horizon and maybe, just maybe... 834 01:32:05,240 --> 01:32:07,820 The Toxic Avenger will be there.