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[♪♪♪]
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NARRATOR: Here's a little
story I'd like to tell
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about three best friends
and their first Noel.
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It begins right
before Christmas 2001,
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when a young man named
Ethan became an orphan.
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His mama and papa
both tragically gone,
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it seemed for him, Christmas
had sung its swan song.
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As he sat alone on Christmas Eve,
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his friends came over
and forced him to leave.
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They had to get Ethan
out of his funk,
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so they went to a bar and
they got his ass drunk.
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With tears and with sadness
they started to mend.
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Then they said:
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No more crying. This sad shit must end.
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Christmas was about family,
but now it's about friends.
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NARRATOR: Thus began
a new tradition.
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The friends hung on Christmas
and fun was their mission.
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Who's the baddest
motherfucker on Christmas day?
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- CHRIS: Get in there.
- Aww!
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You knew.
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- CHRIS: Boom!
- ETHAN: What is it?
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That shit holds a
hundred songs at one time.
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I got the new Dave Matthews downloaded.
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- Oh, yeah. Ricky Martin.
- Oh!
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That guy slays ass.
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NARRATOR: They chilled
with each other,
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did all sorts of stuff.
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They drank many drinks,
they fucked shit up.
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ISAAC: Light his dick.
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[LAUGHS]
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Aah!
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NARRATOR: Then one
fateful night, 2008,
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they realized that Christmas
can be even more great.
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That eve at the bar,
they saw quite a sight.
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Fellow seekers of joy
having one crazy night.
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And there was a woman,
so pretty to all.
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They worked up the
courage, proceeded to call.
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- Excuse me.
- NARRATOR: Ethan said.
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And she turned with a fright.
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Where were you guys
partying earlier tonight?
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At a place so great words cannot describe
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with so many drinks for one to imbibe.
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With so many drugs, I
can't believe I survived.
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What the fuck...
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NARRATOR: Ethan asked.
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...is this party called?
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Why, you haven't heard?
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It's the Nutcracker Ball.
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NARRATOR: They asked all
around, but to no avail.
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Where was this great party,
this whitest of whales?
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And though year upon year,
they tried and they failed,
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they never did tire,
they never did bail.
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But over time, the fun did wane.
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One friend had a family,
the other had fame.
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As the years passed,
his boys, they grew up.
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But it seems our boy Ethan
is just a little bit stuck.
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What's up, buddy? No?
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All right. You guys want any of this?
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- No, thank you.
- Cool.
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MAN: Keep it moving. There you go.
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Yes, good.
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Wait. No, no, no. What are you doing?
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No one was eating this
tuna, so I thought...
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No, no, no. You don't get to make
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those executive decisions, elf.
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How old are you?
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- Thirty-three.
- Thirty-three.
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Thirty-three years old, and you're an elf.
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And you don't even know how to be an elf.
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Show me the elf face.
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Uh...
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It's happy. It's eager.
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More whimsical.
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Whimsy. Determined, though.
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- There you go! That's it!
- That was it.
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That's why you're coming
back here with a full tray.
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I'm gonna move you to coat check.
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This is your last chance.
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And the whole time, I
wanna see that elf face.
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- Okay.
- Starting now.
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Go.
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Go.
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These two are together.
No, gotta take the ticket.
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Hi. Just you, sir?
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Great. This is your ticket.
Please try not to lose it.
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This is a very expensive
coat, so take care of it.
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GIRL: Absolutely, sir.
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Here, ticket. Okay, this one.
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ETHAN: Yeah.
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Yeah. Great.
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GIRL: Hi. Merry Christmas, sir.
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♪ The cold wind is blowing ♪
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♪ And the streets
Are getting dark ♪
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♪ I'm writing you a letter ♪
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♪ And I don't know
Where to start ♪
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♪ The bells will be ringing
St. John the Divine ♪
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♪ I get a little lonely
Every year around this time ♪
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GIRL: Hey, what are you doing?
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Huh? Nothing.
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I'm gonna be right back.
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Now, where are you going?
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I'm sick. Sick.
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BOTH: Whoa!
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♪ I've gotta know ♪
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♪ Nobody ought to be
Alone on Christmas ♪
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♪ Where do lonely hearts go? ♪
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♪ Nobody ought to be
Alone on Christmas ♪
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♪ Nobody ought to be
Alone on Christmas ♪
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MAN [ON RECORDING]: You're about to
have the best night of your life.
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You will learn valuable lessons,
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be filled with Christmas cheer,
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and probably get laid.
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We will release the location
of our party at 10 p.m.
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Merry Christmas.
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[LAUGHING]
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♪ Tell me, I gotta know ♪
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♪ Nobody ought to be
Alone on Christmas ♪
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♪ Where do lonely hearts go? ♪
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♪ Nobody ought to be
Alone on Christmas ♪
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♪ Nobody ought to be
Alone on Christmas ♪
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CHRIS: Yeah, I know, Ma. I'm sorry,
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but I have to stay here and work hard.
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How you think I'm having
such an amazing season?
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I love you too. Merry Christmas.
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Bye.
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♪ Tell me, I gotta know ♪
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What's up, fellas? How's it going, man?
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Good to see you, baby. Merry Christmas.
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You wanna take a picture, man? Let's do it.
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Just leave it!
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If you're not Christian, what are you?
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I'm Jewish.
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Is that why you look different?
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What was that? Come again.
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You just look funny.
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I look funny?
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You ever see The Shining?
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- Isaac?
- Yo!
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- What are you telling them?
- I'm just talking
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to your lovely daughters
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as though they are adults.
From a cognitive level,
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if you speak to kids like they're adults,
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it will make them more curious,
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it will open up their minds to more things.
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- He's gonna be a great father.
- Yeah.
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I just hope we have kids
as beautiful as you girls.
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- Ow!
- BETSY: I'm sorry.
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Sweeties, just come help
Mommy in the kitchen.
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- Are you okay? You want a hug?
- That's okay.
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Oh, okay.
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Gosh, I am such a fucking piece of shit.
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- No, you're not at all.
- I'm the worst mom.
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- I'm gonna be terrible.
- No. Don't say that.
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What if I screw this up?
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You won't. Studies show
your maternal instincts
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really kick in in the last month.
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I know. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous.
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It's fine. I love you so much. Okay?
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- I love you too.
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
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ISAAC: Bets, look who it is.
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Ethan!
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Merry Christmas.
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Oh, my God! You look so big!
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- No.
- No?
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You don't know a lot of
pregnant women, do you?
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- I meant the baby.
- No, I look really big.
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You look great. The baby's probably cramped
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- inside of your small, fit body.
- Thanks. No, that's enough.
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- Just shut up. It's all good.
- I don't know what to say.
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She looks beautiful.
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- You want a drink?
- Sure.
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Do you want a drink, honey?
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I'm okay right now.
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Really?
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Yeah. I'm kind of on call.
Gotta keep my head on straight.
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- But you're gonna drink tonight?
- Yeah. For sure.
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- Because I'm already kind of drunk.
- I can tell.
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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- Okay. That's Chris.
- Yeah.
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Everybody, look who it is!
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Merry Christmas, blessed
Kwanzaa, happy Hanukkah!
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Hey, man. How's it going?
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Whoa! Look at this! Oh, my God!
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I couldn't even tell you were pregnant
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till I saw you from the side.
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Look how tiny you are!
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That's so nice of you to say.
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That is how you talk to a pregnant woman.
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It's amazing. You've had
the season of a lifetime.
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Congratulations, man.
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- Congrats.
- Thanks, man.
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Got a new workout, new diet,
new Paleo thing I've been doing.
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I've heard about that. And it works?
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It rips you up. If you see me naked,
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- it'll blow your mind.
- I'd love to.
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[IN UNISON] ♪ Five golden rings ♪
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Kick ass.
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♪ Four calling birds ♪
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- ♪ Three French hens ♪
- ♪ Two turtle doves ♪
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[IN UNISON]: ♪ And a
partridge In a pear tree ♪
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Really can't believe we're
doing this again this year.
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I was done a few years
ago, to be totally honest.
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We're like those kids who
won't stop trick-or-treating.
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Eventually, they come to
your door, you're like, "Eh."
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- "No candy for you."
- No.
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"Pack it in, kid."
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But this is it. This is the last Christmas.
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Last time. Right?
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- Is he cool with it?
- Yeah, I think so.
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He looks happy right now, right?
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I'm just saying, we're
enabling him at this point.
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We're not helping him
get over his own problems.
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00:09:02,849 --> 00:09:05,149
On a psychological level, that's not good.
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CHRIS: I've made a decision.
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00:09:06,585 --> 00:09:08,685
For a Christmas present,
I'll take him under my wing.
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I'm gonna help him and
get him out of this rut.
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It's a conversation we've
been avoiding for 10 years.
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- I know.
- Just do it easy.
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I'm going all in.
220
00:09:16,763 --> 00:09:18,596
- Don't go all in.
- Balls and all.
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[IN UNISON] ♪ And a
partridge In a pear tree ♪
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♪ On the eighth... ♪
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BETSY: Have fun.
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Take good care of my husband,
all right? I like him.
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CHRIS: We will.
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Hey, Bets, tell Diana I said hello.
227
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Yeah, no.
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- No, no. Merry Christmas.
- BETSY: Mwah.
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Bye-bye.
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- Congratulations.
- BETSY: Mwah. Good to see you.
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- Luckiest guy in the Park.
- I sure am. Bye.
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Can I talk to you for a second real quick?
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What? We're not doing gifts now, are we?
234
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No, we're doing them tomorrow,
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but this one I'm pretty
sure you'll want tonight.
236
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- What is it?
- You have been such a rock
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throughout this whole pregnancy.
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You're like my Dwayne Johnson.
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Thank you.
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It's Christmas now, and
we've almost made it,
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and you deserve this. So Merry Christmas.
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00:10:02,242 --> 00:10:03,573
Is it cologne?
243
00:10:03,575 --> 00:10:05,609
No.
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00:10:05,611 --> 00:10:08,411
[♪♪♪]
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Holy shit!
246
00:10:10,682 --> 00:10:13,885
BETSY: It's every single
drug in the whole world.
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Why are you giving this to me?
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You've been so focused on me and the baby,
249
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and tonight I think you
should just focus on yourself.
250
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Go out there, get fucking wild, you know?
251
00:10:22,729 --> 00:10:24,761
Is this cocaine? I
haven't done cocaine for...
252
00:10:24,763 --> 00:10:27,231
- 11 years, I don't think.
- No one has, I don't think.
253
00:10:27,233 --> 00:10:29,266
That's amazing. Where
did you get all this shit?
254
00:10:29,268 --> 00:10:31,234
- Craigslist.
- You got it from Craigslist?
255
00:10:31,236 --> 00:10:33,271
I just typed in the search "NYC drugs."
256
00:10:33,273 --> 00:10:34,438
Really resourceful of you.
257
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:35,939
It's your last Christmas together,
258
00:10:35,941 --> 00:10:37,541
so have fun. Enjoy it.
259
00:10:37,543 --> 00:10:39,709
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah. I love you.
260
00:10:39,711 --> 00:10:41,945
This is so great. I'll
have my phone with me.
261
00:10:41,947 --> 00:10:43,580
I'll be home pretty early, I think.
262
00:10:43,582 --> 00:10:45,248
- Okay, all right.
- Okay. I love you.
263
00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:47,785
[♪♪♪]
264
00:10:47,787 --> 00:10:49,487
ETHAN: What?
265
00:10:49,489 --> 00:10:51,255
ETHAN: What the fuck is this?
266
00:10:51,257 --> 00:10:53,391
This is the Red Bull Limousine, fellas.
267
00:10:53,393 --> 00:10:56,794
You are now looking at the
face and body of Red Bull.
268
00:10:56,796 --> 00:10:58,529
Wow! Congratulations, man!
269
00:10:58,531 --> 00:11:00,430
Right? Since this is our final Christmas,
270
00:11:00,432 --> 00:11:02,299
I figured we could do it in class.
271
00:11:02,301 --> 00:11:03,968
This is what the spirit of Christmas
272
00:11:03,970 --> 00:11:05,937
is all about. A rich
athlete finally getting
273
00:11:05,939 --> 00:11:07,737
the corporate limo that he always wanted.
274
00:11:07,739 --> 00:11:09,339
- Exactly!
- I think so.
275
00:11:09,341 --> 00:11:11,442
Let's go, get in. You
gotta see this. Come on.
276
00:11:11,444 --> 00:11:13,444
Cool!
277
00:11:13,446 --> 00:11:15,846
CHRIS: Yo, it's the Red Bull Limo, guys!
278
00:11:15,848 --> 00:11:17,681
All right.
279
00:11:17,683 --> 00:11:20,351
Yo! What's up, everybody?
This your man, C-Rob.
280
00:11:20,353 --> 00:11:22,953
We in the Red Bull
Limo. And we Dom P'in it,
281
00:11:22,955 --> 00:11:25,790
we have Cristal in it, Hennythuggin' it
282
00:11:25,792 --> 00:11:27,692
and we got Red Bull!
283
00:11:27,694 --> 00:11:31,695
I'm capturing this on my
Sony Xperia Ultra phone.
284
00:11:31,697 --> 00:11:34,365
No matter what the light, the
picture's right. All right?
285
00:11:34,367 --> 00:11:36,299
This your man, Chris Rob, coming at you.
286
00:11:36,301 --> 00:11:37,867
What happening? Peace!
287
00:11:37,869 --> 00:11:40,371
Peace! Wow!
288
00:11:40,373 --> 00:11:41,705
And, Internet.
289
00:11:41,707 --> 00:11:43,573
- His social media game is crazy.
- On point.
290
00:11:43,575 --> 00:11:45,575
- ISAAC: Really on point, yeah.
- CHRIS: On point.
291
00:11:45,577 --> 00:11:47,844
ISAAC: Five million people
probably just saw that.
292
00:11:47,846 --> 00:11:49,613
DRIVER: Hey there.
293
00:11:49,615 --> 00:11:52,717
Didn't wanna interrupt while
you guys were rolling back there.
294
00:11:52,719 --> 00:11:54,751
Great video, by the way. I just watched it.
295
00:11:54,753 --> 00:11:55,987
That was fast.
296
00:11:55,989 --> 00:11:57,554
My name's Joshua. I'm gonna be
297
00:11:57,556 --> 00:11:59,723
your Red Bull-provided
driver for the evening.
298
00:11:59,725 --> 00:12:01,324
First stop: Rockefeller Center, right?
299
00:12:01,326 --> 00:12:02,727
- Thank you, Josh.
- Raise partition.
300
00:12:02,729 --> 00:12:04,261
Nice meeting you, Josh.
301
00:12:04,263 --> 00:12:06,530
I'm doing the hang-loose thing too much.
302
00:12:06,532 --> 00:12:08,866
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll
call you. There we go.
303
00:12:08,868 --> 00:12:10,434
Check out what Betsy gave me.
304
00:12:10,436 --> 00:12:11,736
It's a bunch of drugs.
305
00:12:11,738 --> 00:12:13,003
We eat a little 'shrooms
306
00:12:13,005 --> 00:12:14,538
to kind of trip out a little bit,
307
00:12:14,540 --> 00:12:16,439
look at the lights, all the sparkly lights.
308
00:12:16,441 --> 00:12:17,875
Let's start with the champagne.
309
00:12:17,877 --> 00:12:20,046
Yeah, sure, yeah. Yeah!
310
00:12:21,614 --> 00:12:24,615
- Aim it out the window!
- ALL: Oh!
311
00:12:24,617 --> 00:12:29,886
♪ Wanna get down You
know you wanna get down ♪
312
00:12:29,888 --> 00:12:32,323
♪ Get on down ♪
313
00:12:32,325 --> 00:12:33,790
So, what's up, E? How's life, man?
314
00:12:33,792 --> 00:12:34,958
Life is good!
315
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,493
- Yeah?
- Yeah, dude.
316
00:12:36,495 --> 00:12:38,596
How's the music going? Any gigs coming up?
317
00:12:38,598 --> 00:12:40,430
Not gigs, but gigs are overrated, dude.
318
00:12:40,432 --> 00:12:42,032
People are on their phones the whole time.
319
00:12:42,034 --> 00:12:43,501
- Know what I mean?
- Totally.
320
00:12:43,503 --> 00:12:44,801
ETHAN: The thing I'm working on now
321
00:12:44,803 --> 00:12:46,703
you really have to listen
to it start to finish.
322
00:12:46,705 --> 00:12:48,372
- It's a concept album.
- What's the concept?
323
00:12:48,374 --> 00:12:50,940
I'm still conceptualizing that part of it,
324
00:12:50,942 --> 00:12:52,676
- but it's about who you know...
- C-Rob, sign this?
325
00:12:52,678 --> 00:12:54,344
- ...more than anything.
- Wait up.
326
00:12:54,346 --> 00:12:55,578
How's it going? Hey, Merry Christmas.
327
00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:57,515
- ISAAC: Photobomb!
- There you go. All right.
328
00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:59,784
- That just happens now?
- CHRIS: People love C-Rob.
329
00:12:59,786 --> 00:13:01,819
So how about Diana? You talk to her?
330
00:13:01,821 --> 00:13:04,655
How's things going with that?
Hate to see that one get away.
331
00:13:04,657 --> 00:13:06,390
- It's still over.
- It's over. Don't worry.
332
00:13:06,392 --> 00:13:08,492
But it's okay. It's no one's fault.
333
00:13:08,494 --> 00:13:09,926
We just drifted apart.
334
00:13:09,928 --> 00:13:11,395
Look, we're at the tree!
335
00:13:11,397 --> 00:13:12,997
Why don't we talk about it another time?
336
00:13:12,999 --> 00:13:14,768
- What?
- Not now, man.
337
00:13:18,805 --> 00:13:20,538
Wow.
338
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:22,506
Gentlemen,
339
00:13:22,508 --> 00:13:26,644
14 years ago to this very
night, a tradition was born.
340
00:13:26,646 --> 00:13:28,878
That year some drunk, fucking asshole
341
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,613
hit my parents with a car.
342
00:13:30,615 --> 00:13:33,550
So that Christmas, I didn't
have any family to be with,
343
00:13:33,552 --> 00:13:35,685
but you guys were there for me.
344
00:13:35,687 --> 00:13:36,987
But tonight!
345
00:13:36,989 --> 00:13:38,488
Tonight's different.
346
00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:41,692
We have mutually decided
to end this tradition.
347
00:13:41,694 --> 00:13:43,126
Isaac's about to have a baby.
348
00:13:43,128 --> 00:13:45,062
And Chris is just too fucking famous
349
00:13:45,064 --> 00:13:46,630
- to hang out with us anymore.
- Big man.
350
00:13:46,632 --> 00:13:48,665
ETHAN: But guys, earlier today
351
00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:52,535
I witnessed a real-life Christmas miracle.
352
00:13:52,537 --> 00:13:53,838
Where the fuck did you get those?
353
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,839
- Holy shit! Are those real?
- They are fucking real!
354
00:13:55,841 --> 00:13:57,742
ISAAC: Where did they come from?
355
00:13:57,744 --> 00:14:00,377
It doesn't matter! It's a
fucking Christmas miracle!
356
00:14:00,379 --> 00:14:01,746
You killed somebody for those?
357
00:14:01,748 --> 00:14:02,579
No, I stole them.
358
00:14:02,581 --> 00:14:04,848
ISAAC: That's awesome! What a blowout!
359
00:14:04,850 --> 00:14:07,952
It is the Nutcracker Ball!
360
00:14:07,954 --> 00:14:09,420
ISAAC: Yes!
361
00:14:09,422 --> 00:14:11,756
So I called the number on these tickets.
362
00:14:11,758 --> 00:14:14,424
They don't give out the address till 10.
363
00:14:14,426 --> 00:14:16,526
So that gives us several hours
364
00:14:16,528 --> 00:14:18,529
to hit as many Christmas
traditions as possible!
365
00:14:18,531 --> 00:14:19,963
CHRIS: Let's do it.
366
00:14:19,965 --> 00:14:22,165
It's gonna be the best
fucking night of our lives!
367
00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:23,666
I'm so psyched, man. Awesome.
368
00:14:23,668 --> 00:14:26,138
Maybe it'll be the new Christmas tradition.
369
00:14:27,773 --> 00:14:30,141
I don't know if we're really replacing this
370
00:14:30,143 --> 00:14:31,608
with another tradition.
371
00:14:31,610 --> 00:14:33,644
That was a joke, Isaac.
Give me some credit.
372
00:14:33,646 --> 00:14:36,112
Obviously, that was a joke.
I am totally cool with it.
373
00:14:36,114 --> 00:14:37,615
Obviously, he's joking.
374
00:14:37,617 --> 00:14:40,184
- Definitely.
- Gentlemen, I got the sweaters.
375
00:14:40,186 --> 00:14:41,584
This one's for you.
376
00:14:41,586 --> 00:14:43,087
- This is for you.
- Nice.
377
00:14:43,089 --> 00:14:44,454
Let's do this!
378
00:14:44,456 --> 00:14:46,424
Let's do it. Hey, where'd he go?
379
00:14:46,426 --> 00:14:48,028
[♪♪♪]
380
00:15:02,074 --> 00:15:04,978
[PLAYING HIP-HOP MELODY]
381
00:15:23,495 --> 00:15:25,896
[♪♪♪]
382
00:15:25,898 --> 00:15:29,900
♪ Who gotcha! Who gotcha!
Who gotcha! Who gotcha! ♪
383
00:15:29,902 --> 00:15:34,006
♪ Who gotcha! Who gotcha!
Who gotcha! Who gotcha! ♪
384
00:15:35,041 --> 00:15:38,074
♪ And I always find
Yeah, I always find ♪
385
00:15:38,076 --> 00:15:39,846
♪ Something wrong ♪
386
00:15:41,013 --> 00:15:42,780
♪ You been putting up With my shit ♪
387
00:15:42,782 --> 00:15:45,949
♪ Just way too long ♪
388
00:15:45,951 --> 00:15:50,723
♪ I'm so gifted at finding
What I don't like the most ♪
389
00:15:51,824 --> 00:15:56,559
♪ So I think it's time
For us to have a toast ♪
390
00:15:56,561 --> 00:15:58,695
♪ Let's have a toast
For the douche bags ♪
391
00:15:58,697 --> 00:16:01,232
♪ Let's have a toast For the assholes ♪
392
00:16:01,234 --> 00:16:04,101
♪ Let's have a toast
For the scumbags ♪
393
00:16:04,103 --> 00:16:06,937
♪ Every one of
them That I know ♪
394
00:16:06,939 --> 00:16:09,740
♪ Let's have a toast
For the jerk-offs ♪
395
00:16:09,742 --> 00:16:12,642
♪ That'll never Take work off ♪
396
00:16:12,644 --> 00:16:14,878
♪ Baby, I got a plan ♪
397
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,780
♪ Run away As fast as you can ♪
398
00:16:17,782 --> 00:16:20,786
♪ Run away As fast as you can ♪
399
00:16:23,255 --> 00:16:24,655
Soup's on!
400
00:16:24,657 --> 00:16:26,223
Hey, Thuwan! How's it going, my man?
401
00:16:26,225 --> 00:16:28,559
ETHAN: Now it's Christmas.
It's not Christmas
402
00:16:28,561 --> 00:16:29,926
till we eat egg drop soup.
403
00:16:29,928 --> 00:16:32,128
It brings me back. Who
are you calling right now?
404
00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:34,598
- Calling Tommy Owens.
- You're calling Tommy Owens?
405
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,599
- Who's Tommy Owens?
- Best player in the league.
406
00:16:36,601 --> 00:16:38,935
- Tommy!
- C-Money, what's up, my man?
407
00:16:38,937 --> 00:16:40,703
Merry Christmas.
408
00:16:40,705 --> 00:16:42,205
[WHISPERING] Tell him hi.
409
00:16:42,207 --> 00:16:44,607
- [IN NORMAL VOICE] Hennessy!
- We going to the Nutcracker Ball.
410
00:16:44,609 --> 00:16:45,809
I got tickets for my boys.
411
00:16:45,811 --> 00:16:47,111
I got us on the list for the party
412
00:16:47,113 --> 00:16:49,280
the after-party, the
before-party, every party.
413
00:16:49,282 --> 00:16:50,981
Congrats, baby, you coming up big time.
414
00:16:50,983 --> 00:16:53,049
What we do, baby. That's what we do!
415
00:16:53,051 --> 00:16:54,885
Tell him to bring some green with him.
416
00:16:54,887 --> 00:16:57,854
C-Money, while I got you on
the phone, I hate to even ask,
417
00:16:57,856 --> 00:16:59,723
but you think you could bring us some weed?
418
00:16:59,725 --> 00:17:01,891
Yeah, I can get weed. Look
who you're talking to, baby.
419
00:17:01,893 --> 00:17:04,627
- Come on. It's Chris Money.
- Smoke it up!
420
00:17:04,629 --> 00:17:06,195
I'll see you at the Nutcracker Ball.
421
00:17:06,197 --> 00:17:08,165
I'll bring a half a pound
and we gonna roll. Much love.
422
00:17:08,167 --> 00:17:10,335
One. Chris love out. Peace.
423
00:17:12,038 --> 00:17:13,771
How much weed you got in that box?
424
00:17:13,773 --> 00:17:15,239
I don't know. Why don't we check?
425
00:17:15,241 --> 00:17:16,639
Check it out, playa.
426
00:17:16,641 --> 00:17:19,175
Someone call Snoop
D-O-double gezzank,
427
00:17:19,177 --> 00:17:21,678
because I got the reefers.
428
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,946
You have one joint?
429
00:17:22,948 --> 00:17:24,647
She doesn't know much about drugs.
430
00:17:24,649 --> 00:17:26,250
The proportions of this shit is all off.
431
00:17:26,252 --> 00:17:27,818
Dude, we need to get some weed.
432
00:17:27,820 --> 00:17:29,252
Can we just not get derailed here?
433
00:17:29,254 --> 00:17:31,655
This is not about some
famous athlete and his weed.
434
00:17:31,657 --> 00:17:32,822
This is about the three of us.
435
00:17:32,824 --> 00:17:34,357
This is our last Christmas together.
436
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,059
It is about a famous athlete and his weed.
437
00:17:36,061 --> 00:17:37,927
I've been on this dude's
team for six years,
438
00:17:37,929 --> 00:17:40,129
and he finally knows who I
am. If I can deliver this weed,
439
00:17:40,131 --> 00:17:43,067
we could smoke with Tommy Owens
and hang with him all night!
440
00:17:43,069 --> 00:17:44,902
I'd love to smoke weed with Tommy Owens.
441
00:17:44,904 --> 00:17:46,369
See? He wants to smoke with Tommy.
442
00:17:46,371 --> 00:17:47,838
Okay. Okay.
443
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,340
- Where do we get some weed from?
- Uh...
444
00:17:50,342 --> 00:17:52,342
We could call Mr. Green.
445
00:17:52,344 --> 00:17:54,677
ISAAC: Why are we outside
our high school again?
446
00:17:54,679 --> 00:17:57,246
ETHAN: Because he's a fucking
drug-dealer and he's suspicious,
447
00:17:57,248 --> 00:17:59,883
and he doesn't meet you unless
he's met you there before.
448
00:17:59,885 --> 00:18:01,217
So it's either our old high school
449
00:18:01,219 --> 00:18:02,819
or this guy's mom's house.
450
00:18:02,821 --> 00:18:05,356
- That's not happening.
- I know. So it's here.
451
00:18:05,358 --> 00:18:07,057
[PHONE RINGING]
452
00:18:07,059 --> 00:18:08,358
Shit. Is that you?
453
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,260
It's not mine.
454
00:18:10,262 --> 00:18:12,663
- No.
- Oh, shit.
455
00:18:12,665 --> 00:18:14,964
ETHAN: That was there before.
456
00:18:14,966 --> 00:18:16,834
CHRIS: Do they even make payphones anymore?
457
00:18:16,836 --> 00:18:18,335
Don't touch it. People
wipe their butts on those.
458
00:18:18,337 --> 00:18:20,037
This is how you gotta talk to him.
459
00:18:20,039 --> 00:18:21,204
Don't pick up!
460
00:18:21,206 --> 00:18:22,705
Hello! 1998 speaking.
461
00:18:22,707 --> 00:18:24,375
That's gross.
462
00:18:24,377 --> 00:18:25,975
Oh.
463
00:18:25,977 --> 00:18:28,846
Yeah, I see you. Okay.
Thanks. He's right there.
464
00:18:28,848 --> 00:18:31,682
- [HORN HONKING]
- Go ahead. Go get the weed.
465
00:18:31,684 --> 00:18:33,884
- I'm not going. You're going.
- Just get it.
466
00:18:33,886 --> 00:18:35,886
- Come on, don't be a baby.
- It's your weed!
467
00:18:35,888 --> 00:18:37,390
Shit.
468
00:18:39,157 --> 00:18:43,126
Is it just me? He's
changed a little bit, right?
469
00:18:43,128 --> 00:18:46,763
Uh, yeah, he seems like
he's excited about his fame.
470
00:18:46,765 --> 00:18:49,366
I think it's our job to sort
of just keep him in check.
471
00:18:49,368 --> 00:18:52,136
Sometimes, you think it's easy
to tell your friend something,
472
00:18:52,138 --> 00:18:54,137
and it's actually hard
to tell them that thing
473
00:18:54,139 --> 00:18:56,139
once you're confronted
with the actual moment
474
00:18:56,141 --> 00:18:57,875
that you would tell them that thing.
475
00:18:57,877 --> 00:18:59,445
You know what I mean?
476
00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:07,216
Mr. Green! What's up, man?
477
00:19:07,218 --> 00:19:08,918
Good evening.
478
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,788
How you doing? It's good to see you.
479
00:19:10,790 --> 00:19:12,188
I'm glad you open on Christmas.
480
00:19:12,190 --> 00:19:15,759
A lot of people need me
on Christmas, you know.
481
00:19:15,761 --> 00:19:18,127
It's a tough holiday.
482
00:19:18,129 --> 00:19:19,296
I know you.
483
00:19:19,298 --> 00:19:20,798
Yeah.
484
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,265
You used to sell weed to me and my friends
485
00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:24,434
when we were in high
school. Yeah, that's crazy.
486
00:19:24,436 --> 00:19:26,770
So, what do you want?
487
00:19:26,772 --> 00:19:29,807
Your best shit, man. That
chronic, that drow, that...
488
00:19:29,809 --> 00:19:31,442
Yeah, yeah. Some of that.
489
00:19:31,444 --> 00:19:35,279
It's good to see you kids still
hanging out and smoking up.
490
00:19:35,281 --> 00:19:36,780
Makes me proud.
491
00:19:36,782 --> 00:19:38,348
Thanks, man. We're just kind of trying
492
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:40,117
to keep the dream alive, you know?
493
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,453
But this is not for us. This
is for a good friend of mine.
494
00:19:42,455 --> 00:19:45,121
Tommy Owens. Quarterback. The Messiah.
495
00:19:45,123 --> 00:19:47,890
You know what? As far as I'm concerned
496
00:19:47,892 --> 00:19:49,126
there's only one Messiah.
497
00:19:49,128 --> 00:19:53,062
Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
498
00:19:53,064 --> 00:19:55,065
So that name's a little blasphemous.
499
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:57,103
Yeah.
500
00:20:01,474 --> 00:20:03,941
[EXHALES]
501
00:20:03,943 --> 00:20:06,743
The Weed of Christmas Present.
502
00:20:06,745 --> 00:20:08,912
I'm an athlete, so drug-free body.
503
00:20:08,914 --> 00:20:10,880
Drug-free zone. No smoking.
504
00:20:10,882 --> 00:20:14,318
You buying that for somebody
and you're not gonna test it?
505
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,953
That could be oregano.
506
00:20:15,955 --> 00:20:19,257
- Orega-what?
- Oregano.
507
00:20:21,793 --> 00:20:24,197
[♪♪♪]
508
00:20:27,233 --> 00:20:29,168
[JINGLING]
509
00:20:31,803 --> 00:20:33,505
So...
510
00:20:34,807 --> 00:20:36,440
Something special supposed to happen?
511
00:20:36,442 --> 00:20:38,308
It just did.
512
00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:41,014
You're in the present.
513
00:20:44,015 --> 00:20:46,983
What? Maybe I'm high or
something, man, I don't...
514
00:20:46,985 --> 00:20:50,354
Or maybe you're in the present.
515
00:20:50,356 --> 00:20:53,857
The Weed of Christmas Present.
516
00:20:53,859 --> 00:20:55,224
Well, with that logic,
517
00:20:55,226 --> 00:20:57,528
isn't all weed the Weed
of Christmas Present?
518
00:20:57,530 --> 00:21:00,198
Only on Christmas, kid.
519
00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:04,033
Anyway, that'll be a hundred bucks.
520
00:21:04,035 --> 00:21:07,171
Oh. All right. I'll get your hundreds.
521
00:21:07,173 --> 00:21:08,972
If you guys ain't doing nothing later,
522
00:21:08,974 --> 00:21:10,840
you should stop by this party I'm throwing.
523
00:21:10,842 --> 00:21:12,341
It's a hell of a bash.
524
00:21:12,343 --> 00:21:14,411
[LAUGHS] You serious?
525
00:21:14,413 --> 00:21:16,445
It's not in my car.
526
00:21:16,447 --> 00:21:18,014
It's a real party.
527
00:21:18,016 --> 00:21:20,584
Uh, we already got invited
to something. Sorry.
528
00:21:20,586 --> 00:21:22,418
But thank you for the invite.
529
00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:26,324
That's no problem. My feelings
aren't hurt. Not really.
530
00:21:29,494 --> 00:21:31,828
Tell Isaac, "I'll see
you in a couple hours."
531
00:21:31,830 --> 00:21:33,129
What?
532
00:21:33,131 --> 00:21:36,867
Tell Isaac I'll see him in a couple hours.
533
00:21:36,869 --> 00:21:39,502
How did he get so good all of a sudden?
534
00:21:39,504 --> 00:21:40,971
- I don't know.
- [CAR DOOR CLOSES]
535
00:21:40,973 --> 00:21:43,676
- [CAR DRIVES OFF]
- Oh, here we go. Here we go.
536
00:21:46,278 --> 00:21:48,912
That shit was the weirdest
fucking experience of my life.
537
00:21:48,914 --> 00:21:50,446
- Really?
- But I got the weed.
538
00:21:50,448 --> 00:21:52,049
- Nice!
- [LAUGHS]
539
00:21:52,051 --> 00:21:54,151
Come on, let's go tear
this fucking karaoke down.
540
00:21:54,153 --> 00:21:56,419
Let them bitches know the
Ice Crew in the building!
541
00:21:56,421 --> 00:21:58,055
Let's do it, baby.
542
00:21:58,057 --> 00:22:00,456
- Did you practice the moves?
- Oh, I've been practicing.
543
00:22:00,458 --> 00:22:01,924
Hey!
544
00:22:01,926 --> 00:22:03,595
[HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING]
545
00:22:05,063 --> 00:22:07,499
Whoa. Happy feet, happy feet.
546
00:22:11,337 --> 00:22:14,238
Show them, huh!
547
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,473
♪ It's Christmas time
In Hollis, Queens ♪
548
00:22:16,475 --> 00:22:19,509
♪ Mom's cooking chicken
And collard greens ♪
549
00:22:19,511 --> 00:22:21,544
♪ Rice and stuffing
Macaroni and cheese ♪
550
00:22:21,546 --> 00:22:24,348
♪ And Santa's putting toys
Under Christmas trees ♪
551
00:22:24,350 --> 00:22:27,017
♪ Decorate the house
With lights at night ♪
552
00:22:27,019 --> 00:22:29,252
♪ Snow on the ground
Snow white so bright ♪
553
00:22:29,254 --> 00:22:31,621
♪ In the fireplace Is the yule log ♪
554
00:22:31,623 --> 00:22:34,357
♪ Beneath the mistletoe is
Where we're drinkin' eggnog ♪
555
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:37,159
♪ The rhymes that you hear
Are the rhymes of Darryl's ♪
556
00:22:37,161 --> 00:22:40,496
♪ But each and every year
We bust Christmas carols ♪
557
00:22:40,498 --> 00:22:42,267
[ALL CHEERING]
558
00:22:43,636 --> 00:22:46,172
Got my prenup.
559
00:22:52,645 --> 00:22:54,944
I think the 'shrooms are kicking in.
560
00:22:54,946 --> 00:22:57,213
♪ My name's DMC With
the mic in my hand ♪
561
00:22:57,215 --> 00:22:59,482
♪ I'm chilling and
cooling Like a snowman ♪
562
00:22:59,484 --> 00:23:01,117
♪ So open your eyes, Lend us an ear ♪
563
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:02,452
♪ We want to say ♪
564
00:23:02,454 --> 00:23:05,588
♪ Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year ♪
565
00:23:05,590 --> 00:23:08,424
[ALL CHEERING]
566
00:23:08,426 --> 00:23:10,527
Yo, what's up? We're the Ice Crew!
567
00:23:10,529 --> 00:23:12,261
We just got one thing to say!
568
00:23:12,263 --> 00:23:15,168
Drink some damn Red Bull. Hell, yeah!
569
00:23:19,338 --> 00:23:21,003
- It's happening.
- ETHAN: You okay?
570
00:23:21,005 --> 00:23:22,338
- You feel good?
- Yeah.
571
00:23:22,340 --> 00:23:24,273
Ethan, it's Diana!
572
00:23:24,275 --> 00:23:26,209
- DIANA: Hi.
- CHRIS: What's up?
573
00:23:26,211 --> 00:23:28,478
Chris, I wanna say hi to you,
but you're surrounded by fans!
574
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,513
I know. It's crazy! Say hey to Ethan!
575
00:23:30,515 --> 00:23:33,250
He looks really great! Let's
go outside and Instagram.
576
00:23:33,252 --> 00:23:34,952
My social media game is on point!
577
00:23:34,954 --> 00:23:36,986
- That guy's really famous now.
- ETHAN: Yeah.
578
00:23:36,988 --> 00:23:38,155
Super famous.
579
00:23:38,157 --> 00:23:40,290
So good seeing you guys!
580
00:23:40,292 --> 00:23:42,291
Merry Christmas. What
are you guys doing here?
581
00:23:42,293 --> 00:23:45,162
It's the only karaoke place
that's open on Christmas.
582
00:23:45,164 --> 00:23:46,996
Yeah, it's our tradition.
583
00:23:46,998 --> 00:23:49,031
I should've remembered
that you guys come here.
584
00:23:49,033 --> 00:23:50,399
But Run-DMC, I got to see it! Finally.
585
00:23:50,401 --> 00:23:52,135
- You liked it?
- DIANA: It was awesome.
586
00:23:52,137 --> 00:23:53,470
This is what you guys missed.
587
00:23:53,472 --> 00:23:55,038
She did Miley Cyrus.
588
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,040
She destroyed Wrecking
Ball. It was amazing.
589
00:23:57,042 --> 00:23:58,709
- You still like that song.
- Everybody does.
590
00:23:58,711 --> 00:24:02,279
You can cry to it. You can
run to it. You can party to it.
591
00:24:02,281 --> 00:24:05,315
- Timeless!
- Uh, what are you guys doing?
592
00:24:05,317 --> 00:24:07,350
We're having a really fun night, actually.
593
00:24:07,352 --> 00:24:09,586
We're kind of going not
too hard, but pretty hard.
594
00:24:09,588 --> 00:24:11,053
We're kind of just...
595
00:24:11,055 --> 00:24:12,723
It's our last night doing the Christmas!
596
00:24:12,725 --> 00:24:16,326
- End of an era.
- Last year. Last year.
597
00:24:16,328 --> 00:24:18,228
But it's been really fun, though.
598
00:24:18,230 --> 00:24:20,196
Of course. Betsy's giving birth in a month.
599
00:24:20,198 --> 00:24:21,464
She's having a baby, yeah.
600
00:24:21,466 --> 00:24:23,265
We're gonna miss her at the office.
601
00:24:23,267 --> 00:24:25,068
But she said you've been
doing a very good job.
602
00:24:25,070 --> 00:24:27,104
- [VOICES DISTORTING]
- That you're so prepared.
603
00:24:27,106 --> 00:24:29,005
You've read every single
book on being a dad
604
00:24:29,007 --> 00:24:30,406
since books were created.
605
00:24:30,408 --> 00:24:32,309
SARAH: I would be losing my shit right now.
606
00:24:32,311 --> 00:24:34,277
That you're prepared, like, over-prepared.
607
00:24:34,279 --> 00:24:35,645
He's solid. He's got the stats.
608
00:24:35,647 --> 00:24:38,280
A lot of men in your
position fucking freak out.
609
00:24:38,282 --> 00:24:40,183
- They just leave.
- SARAH: And they take off.
610
00:24:40,185 --> 00:24:43,220
- It's an epidemic.
- It's true. Are you guys...
611
00:24:43,222 --> 00:24:45,722
What the fuck! Are you
guys okay? Are you okay?
612
00:24:45,724 --> 00:24:49,192
These lights in here fucking
with you guys? Like a lot.
613
00:24:49,194 --> 00:24:50,527
SARAH: Not really.
614
00:24:50,529 --> 00:24:52,662
I think moving around
maybe from the dancing.
615
00:24:52,664 --> 00:24:54,164
Yeah.
616
00:24:54,166 --> 00:24:55,632
I'm gonna call Betsy. I'll be right back.
617
00:24:55,634 --> 00:24:58,601
- That's a good idea.
- It's good to see you. I'll be...
618
00:24:58,603 --> 00:25:01,203
Give her a call.
619
00:25:01,205 --> 00:25:02,806
You guys have a nice connection.
620
00:25:02,808 --> 00:25:05,678
Yeah, he's a sweetheart.
621
00:25:07,245 --> 00:25:08,444
- I'm gonna go to the bar...
- No.
622
00:25:08,446 --> 00:25:10,113
- ...get more to drink.
- No, no, no!
623
00:25:10,115 --> 00:25:11,781
- Nice to see you.
- ETHAN: Merry Christmas.
624
00:25:11,783 --> 00:25:13,517
You look good.
625
00:25:13,519 --> 00:25:14,784
[CHUCKLES]
626
00:25:14,786 --> 00:25:16,386
Hi.
627
00:25:16,388 --> 00:25:17,857
Hi.
628
00:25:19,157 --> 00:25:20,726
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
629
00:25:23,294 --> 00:25:27,164
Okay. Come on. Whoo!
The 'shrooms are turning.
630
00:25:27,166 --> 00:25:28,397
You got a big night ahead of you.
631
00:25:28,399 --> 00:25:30,133
Let's get something else going here.
632
00:25:30,135 --> 00:25:31,801
Cocaine. That'll straighten me out.
633
00:25:31,803 --> 00:25:34,671
Get in my brain. Make me feel different.
634
00:25:34,673 --> 00:25:35,838
Yeah.
635
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,808
[SNORTS]
636
00:25:37,810 --> 00:25:40,242
[GRUNTING]
637
00:25:40,244 --> 00:25:42,712
What's up, Messiah? How
you doing, White Jesus?
638
00:25:42,714 --> 00:25:44,146
[LAUGHS] Yo, check it out.
639
00:25:44,148 --> 00:25:45,514
It's C-Rob, man.
640
00:25:45,516 --> 00:25:48,652
So everything's good. I got you.
641
00:25:48,654 --> 00:25:51,620
I got the shit. I got
the weed. I got the smoke.
642
00:25:51,622 --> 00:25:55,459
You know what? I'm tripping.
I'mma just text you, all right?
643
00:25:55,461 --> 00:25:58,360
What happened to peace? Peace. C-Rob out.
644
00:25:58,362 --> 00:26:01,831
Chris motherfucking Roberts!
645
00:26:01,833 --> 00:26:04,134
- Well, I'm not Julia Roberts.
- [LAUGHS]
646
00:26:04,136 --> 00:26:06,470
But you are a pretty woman.
647
00:26:06,472 --> 00:26:07,838
Oh, shit!
648
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,772
Dude, I am such a fan.
649
00:26:09,774 --> 00:26:11,308
Meeting you here tonight
650
00:26:11,310 --> 00:26:14,144
this is enough to make
Christmas tolerable for me.
651
00:26:14,146 --> 00:26:16,178
Whoa. You don't like Christmas?
652
00:26:16,180 --> 00:26:18,581
No. I fucking hate Christmas.
653
00:26:18,583 --> 00:26:21,818
Sorry to be, like, a
Grinch. You're into it.
654
00:26:21,820 --> 00:26:23,854
This is amazing.
655
00:26:23,856 --> 00:26:26,723
As much as I hate Christmas,
that's how much I love you.
656
00:26:26,725 --> 00:26:28,325
- Wow.
- [LAUGHS] Sorry.
657
00:26:28,327 --> 00:26:30,327
Okay, I'm being too much.
658
00:26:30,329 --> 00:26:32,662
I'm jizzing all over you. I'm
getting, like, jizzy. Sorry.
659
00:26:32,664 --> 00:26:35,365
No, no, no. Jizz all
over me. I like that shit.
660
00:26:35,367 --> 00:26:37,867
You probably wanna go back to your friends.
661
00:26:37,869 --> 00:26:39,636
Fuck my friends.
662
00:26:39,638 --> 00:26:41,771
Friends come and go,
663
00:26:41,773 --> 00:26:43,540
but fans, that's forever.
664
00:26:43,542 --> 00:26:45,742
- You're naughty.
- I'm very naughty.
665
00:26:45,744 --> 00:26:49,812
I'm gonna teach you a Christmas
lesson, you naughty boy.
666
00:26:49,814 --> 00:26:51,213
Okay.
667
00:26:51,215 --> 00:26:52,749
[GROANING]
668
00:26:52,751 --> 00:26:54,986
The truth will set you free.
669
00:26:57,356 --> 00:26:59,188
Hey, yo.
670
00:26:59,190 --> 00:27:02,158
This is a message for future Isaac
671
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,360
from current Isaac.
672
00:27:04,362 --> 00:27:06,829
And I have to tell you to listen to me
673
00:27:06,831 --> 00:27:08,498
because right now I have clarity.
674
00:27:08,500 --> 00:27:10,232
You should not be having this fucking baby.
675
00:27:10,234 --> 00:27:11,902
This baby's a mistake.
676
00:27:11,904 --> 00:27:14,538
The baby will ruin your life.
You'll ruin the baby's life!
677
00:27:14,540 --> 00:27:16,906
And then the baby will
fucking murder people!
678
00:27:16,908 --> 00:27:18,541
I don't know what you do at this point,
679
00:27:18,543 --> 00:27:20,309
but get rid of this fucking baby!
680
00:27:20,311 --> 00:27:22,511
Put it in a bag and leave it somewhere!
681
00:27:22,513 --> 00:27:25,781
Put it in a basket and push
it down a fucking river!
682
00:27:25,783 --> 00:27:27,184
Fuck you, baby!
683
00:27:27,186 --> 00:27:29,618
Fuck your baby-fucking little arms
684
00:27:29,620 --> 00:27:31,954
and your fucking chubby
little baby-fucking legs!
685
00:27:31,956 --> 00:27:35,424
Fuck you, baby! Fuck you! Cunt!
686
00:27:35,426 --> 00:27:37,860
[GROANS]
687
00:27:37,862 --> 00:27:39,631
Okay.
688
00:27:40,866 --> 00:27:42,432
Fuck.
689
00:27:42,434 --> 00:27:43,968
[SNORTS]
690
00:27:45,270 --> 00:27:47,203
Have some fun! Yeah!
691
00:27:47,205 --> 00:27:48,538
Let's party!
692
00:27:48,540 --> 00:27:50,810
[♪♪♪]
693
00:27:54,812 --> 00:27:56,780
- Isaac?
- Fuck! Yeah!
694
00:27:56,782 --> 00:27:58,214
Hi, Sarah! Whaddup?
695
00:27:58,216 --> 00:27:59,482
- How's it going?
- All right.
696
00:27:59,484 --> 00:28:02,418
Good. Cool. What's going on? You good?
697
00:28:02,420 --> 00:28:04,553
- You're so sweaty.
- It's hot in here. I run hot.
698
00:28:04,555 --> 00:28:06,289
We have this tradition
where we wear sweaters.
699
00:28:06,291 --> 00:28:07,590
I don't always wear a sweater, obviously.
700
00:28:07,592 --> 00:28:09,259
When I'm inside, I'd normally take it off.
701
00:28:09,261 --> 00:28:10,760
I think it would hurt my friends' feelings.
702
00:28:10,762 --> 00:28:12,761
You're talking so fast, you
sound like an auctioneer.
703
00:28:12,763 --> 00:28:14,763
- That's funny. Sold!
- [LAUGHS]
704
00:28:14,765 --> 00:28:15,932
That was kind of scary.
705
00:28:15,934 --> 00:28:17,399
Sorry. I don't mean to scare you.
706
00:28:17,401 --> 00:28:18,969
- By going, "Sold!"
- Oh, my God!
707
00:28:18,971 --> 00:28:21,637
You shouldn't have said it.
Now it's all I can think about.
708
00:28:21,639 --> 00:28:23,339
- You want a drink?
- Okay. Sure.
709
00:28:23,341 --> 00:28:24,974
Let's have a drink. I'll be right back.
710
00:28:24,976 --> 00:28:26,342
Thanks, Isaac.
711
00:28:26,344 --> 00:28:28,712
♪ Let's talk about sex ♪
712
00:28:28,714 --> 00:28:30,246
[MUMBLING]
713
00:28:30,248 --> 00:28:31,848
Betsy said you've been asking about me.
714
00:28:31,850 --> 00:28:34,350
- That's a lie.
- It is. That's a lie.
715
00:28:34,352 --> 00:28:36,485
Betsy would never in a billion years
716
00:28:36,487 --> 00:28:38,687
say anything even remotely like that.
717
00:28:38,689 --> 00:28:40,456
How's your family?
718
00:28:40,458 --> 00:28:42,826
You're asking about my family.
719
00:28:42,828 --> 00:28:45,794
Sorry, I can't believe it. Who are you?
720
00:28:45,796 --> 00:28:46,996
I deserve that.
721
00:28:46,998 --> 00:28:49,633
My family, thank you for asking, is fine.
722
00:28:49,635 --> 00:28:52,301
You usually stay with
them on Christmas Eve, no?
723
00:28:52,303 --> 00:28:53,603
Yeah, I'm staying with them,
724
00:28:53,605 --> 00:28:55,704
but I'm going to this thing with Sarah.
725
00:28:55,706 --> 00:28:57,109
What is it?
726
00:28:58,609 --> 00:29:02,611
Okay, she's dating this guy,
and he got us into this party.
727
00:29:02,613 --> 00:29:04,547
And I know you've always
wanted to go to it...
728
00:29:04,549 --> 00:29:06,449
Shit. Are you going to the Nutcracker Ball?
729
00:29:06,451 --> 00:29:08,784
- Yeah. I'm sorry.
- We're going too.
730
00:29:08,786 --> 00:29:10,353
- You are?
- Isn't that crazy?
731
00:29:10,355 --> 00:29:11,788
I'm happy for you. Your last Christmas,
732
00:29:11,790 --> 00:29:13,490
and you get to go to the big dumb party
733
00:29:13,492 --> 00:29:14,657
you've always wanted to go to.
734
00:29:14,659 --> 00:29:17,527
- You bringing anyone?
- To the dumb party?
735
00:29:17,529 --> 00:29:19,995
- Any guys?
- Me?
736
00:29:19,997 --> 00:29:22,965
Yeah, I'm bringing these two guys
737
00:29:22,967 --> 00:29:25,801
that I'm kind of dating.
738
00:29:25,803 --> 00:29:27,436
With really huge dicks.
739
00:29:27,438 --> 00:29:32,075
Who've got enormous,
almost novelty-sized dicks.
740
00:29:32,077 --> 00:29:34,376
I've been seeing a girl with a huge vagina.
741
00:29:34,378 --> 00:29:35,712
Have you?
742
00:29:35,714 --> 00:29:37,646
I don't know if it really
has the same impact.
743
00:29:37,648 --> 00:29:40,416
I just hope that this
nice young lady's vagina
744
00:29:40,418 --> 00:29:42,519
is not half as big as mine.
745
00:29:42,521 --> 00:29:44,053
- Your vagina, I mean...
- The biggest!
746
00:29:44,055 --> 00:29:45,989
- Wup, wup, wup.
- I know.
747
00:29:45,991 --> 00:29:47,389
BARTENDER: Here you go.
748
00:29:47,391 --> 00:29:48,758
Thank you so much. Appreciate that.
749
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,793
- BARTENDER: It's on your tab.
- Cool.
750
00:29:50,795 --> 00:29:52,564
[♪♪♪]
751
00:30:01,973 --> 00:30:03,373
- Cheers!
- Cheers.
752
00:30:03,375 --> 00:30:05,942
This is so much fun!
753
00:30:05,944 --> 00:30:07,577
Mm. Good beer.
754
00:30:07,579 --> 00:30:09,646
They say beer mellows you
out a bit, which is nice.
755
00:30:09,648 --> 00:30:10,946
This is kind of cool-tasting.
756
00:30:10,948 --> 00:30:12,449
Tastes like pennies or something.
757
00:30:12,451 --> 00:30:14,084
- Weird. It has a coppery flavor?
- Yeah.
758
00:30:14,086 --> 00:30:15,652
Bizarre. Maybe it's the vodka?
759
00:30:15,654 --> 00:30:17,654
You know what? I think
they gave you a Crantini.
760
00:30:17,656 --> 00:30:19,822
Ever think they're all part
of the same Tini family?
761
00:30:19,824 --> 00:30:21,590
Martini, Crantini.
762
00:30:21,592 --> 00:30:23,960
- It's just a funny idea, I thought.
- I guess it's funny.
763
00:30:23,962 --> 00:30:25,462
[LAUGHING]
764
00:30:25,464 --> 00:30:28,365
- Oh. Isaac. You have a bloody nose.
- Huh? Yes?
765
00:30:28,367 --> 00:30:30,433
- I what?
- Your nose is bleeding.
766
00:30:30,435 --> 00:30:32,501
My nose is bleeding?
767
00:30:32,503 --> 00:30:34,471
- Do you not feel that?
- Oh, no!
768
00:30:34,473 --> 00:30:35,972
It's fucked. There's a lot of blood.
769
00:30:35,974 --> 00:30:37,574
No, my nose is very tingly right now.
770
00:30:37,576 --> 00:30:39,576
And I actually don't feel
much. That's so weird.
771
00:30:39,578 --> 00:30:42,378
- Holy fuck!
- What?
772
00:30:42,380 --> 00:30:44,079
Did you bleed in my drink?
773
00:30:44,081 --> 00:30:45,615
No.
774
00:30:45,617 --> 00:30:47,850
You fucking bled in my drink, Isaac!
775
00:30:47,852 --> 00:30:49,118
I'm gonna come clean.
776
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:50,587
I'm on a lot of cocaine right now.
777
00:30:50,589 --> 00:30:51,954
That's what made my nose bleed.
778
00:30:51,956 --> 00:30:53,123
You're on fucking cocaine?
779
00:30:53,125 --> 00:30:54,656
- Did you drink a lot of it?
- Kind of!
780
00:30:54,658 --> 00:30:56,425
- Is it that gross?
- It's mega-gross.
781
00:30:56,427 --> 00:30:57,594
I didn't do it on purpose.
782
00:30:57,596 --> 00:30:59,128
You're a totally fucked-up person.
783
00:30:59,130 --> 00:31:00,629
You should not be a father. Goodbye!
784
00:31:00,631 --> 00:31:02,598
- Fuck you!
- SARAH: Fuck you, Isaac!
785
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:03,832
I'm sorry. Fuck you!
786
00:31:03,834 --> 00:31:05,467
- SARAH: No, fuck you!
- [KNOCKING]
787
00:31:05,469 --> 00:31:08,137
Piss off! People are fucking in here!
788
00:31:08,139 --> 00:31:10,072
[MOANING]
789
00:31:10,074 --> 00:31:12,608
- Zero, 11!
- [YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
790
00:31:12,610 --> 00:31:15,744
Okay, now... Now, take a dump.
791
00:31:15,746 --> 00:31:16,680
What?
792
00:31:16,682 --> 00:31:19,949
Hey, guys! Sorry to interrupt. Hey, Ethan.
793
00:31:19,951 --> 00:31:21,617
We need to get the fuck out of here.
794
00:31:21,619 --> 00:31:23,619
- I'm losing my shit right now.
- What happened?
795
00:31:23,621 --> 00:31:24,820
Please. I wanna go right now.
796
00:31:24,822 --> 00:31:27,022
- I'm right behind you.
- Thank you.
797
00:31:27,024 --> 00:31:28,791
- Sorry.
- I'm sorry.
798
00:31:28,793 --> 00:31:30,159
Yikes.
799
00:31:30,161 --> 00:31:31,661
Uh...
800
00:31:31,663 --> 00:31:33,530
I guess that's my cue.
801
00:31:33,532 --> 00:31:35,632
- Tell her I'm sorry.
- You don't have to be sorry.
802
00:31:35,634 --> 00:31:37,200
I guess I'll see you later.
803
00:31:37,202 --> 00:31:39,501
Okay. Hey, hey, hey.
804
00:31:39,503 --> 00:31:41,206
This is...
805
00:31:47,212 --> 00:31:49,479
Come on, man.
806
00:31:49,481 --> 00:31:52,714
♪ Hey, Christmas lights ♪
807
00:31:52,716 --> 00:31:54,917
♪ In the middle of
A Christmas night ♪
808
00:31:54,919 --> 00:31:56,685
[CHUCKLING]
809
00:31:56,687 --> 00:31:59,121
♪ All the colors shine... ♪
810
00:31:59,123 --> 00:32:00,557
CHRIS: Ethan!
811
00:32:00,559 --> 00:32:02,157
- Have you seen Isaac?
- Forget Isaac.
812
00:32:02,159 --> 00:32:04,726
I just fame-fucked that
hipster chick in the bathroom.
813
00:32:04,728 --> 00:32:07,664
- ETHAN: So that's her?
- Hell, yeah.
814
00:32:07,666 --> 00:32:09,499
- Can we go?
- Are you okay?
815
00:32:09,501 --> 00:32:11,166
- I'm fine! Let's go.
- ETHAN: It's after 10.
816
00:32:11,168 --> 00:32:12,635
We can call the party number now.
817
00:32:12,637 --> 00:32:13,936
Let's call! Let's call!
818
00:32:13,938 --> 00:32:15,672
I'll get this address.
819
00:32:15,674 --> 00:32:17,242
This better fucking work.
820
00:32:18,877 --> 00:32:21,043
MAN [ON RECORDING]: If you
want your Christmas merry
821
00:32:21,045 --> 00:32:24,646
go to the corner of Grand and Berry.
822
00:32:24,648 --> 00:32:25,647
Okay.
823
00:32:25,649 --> 00:32:27,716
Grand and Berry, please!
824
00:32:27,718 --> 00:32:29,819
ETHAN: Listen, listen, listen.
825
00:32:29,821 --> 00:32:32,655
So Diana is also going
to the Nutcracker Ball.
826
00:32:32,657 --> 00:32:35,492
- CHRIS: What?
- How crazy is that, right?
827
00:32:35,494 --> 00:32:36,792
She's cool. I miss her.
828
00:32:36,794 --> 00:32:38,694
Yeah, you shouldn't have let her go, dude.
829
00:32:38,696 --> 00:32:41,097
You should totally get her
back, bro. My mom's named Diana.
830
00:32:41,099 --> 00:32:43,966
Yeah, thanks. I didn't
let her go. She left me.
831
00:32:43,968 --> 00:32:45,501
You didn't wanna meet her parents
832
00:32:45,503 --> 00:32:46,869
and you never did,
833
00:32:46,871 --> 00:32:48,570
and you just kept making
excuses for two years.
834
00:32:48,572 --> 00:32:50,173
She made the whole relationship about
835
00:32:50,175 --> 00:32:51,773
the one thing I didn't wanna do.
836
00:32:51,775 --> 00:32:53,876
Dude, you fucked up. Isaac,
tell him, he fucked up.
837
00:32:53,878 --> 00:32:55,511
- You fucked up, man.
- CHRIS: See?
838
00:32:55,513 --> 00:32:58,114
Hey, Isaac. You okay?
839
00:32:58,116 --> 00:32:59,949
No, I'm not.
840
00:32:59,951 --> 00:33:03,853
I think the cocaine and the
mushrooms are reacting poorly.
841
00:33:03,855 --> 00:33:06,088
And now I think I just
got to balance it out.
842
00:33:06,090 --> 00:33:07,924
I got to make it that I'm more on mushrooms
843
00:33:07,926 --> 00:33:09,658
'cause I was having fun on mushrooms.
844
00:33:09,660 --> 00:33:11,126
- I have a plan.
- Chill out. Have a Red Bull.
845
00:33:11,128 --> 00:33:13,596
You could also just stop
doing drugs right now.
846
00:33:13,598 --> 00:33:15,831
Like, much more mushrooms.
847
00:33:15,833 --> 00:33:17,299
Are you gonna be cool at this party?
848
00:33:17,301 --> 00:33:19,836
- Cool as fuck, G.
- No, you're not cool, G.
849
00:33:19,838 --> 00:33:21,905
You look insane. Only
your right eye is working.
850
00:33:21,907 --> 00:33:24,206
There's gonna be a lot of
famous people at this party
851
00:33:24,208 --> 00:33:25,742
and I don't want you to fuck it up.
852
00:33:25,744 --> 00:33:27,710
You walk in there looking
like a shit show...
853
00:33:27,712 --> 00:33:30,847
- Do I look weird now?
- Yes! You look weird!
854
00:33:30,849 --> 00:33:32,949
Still weird.
855
00:33:32,951 --> 00:33:34,049
Weirder!
856
00:33:34,051 --> 00:33:35,818
- He looks fine.
- CHRIS: No, you don't!
857
00:33:35,820 --> 00:33:38,588
You need to fucking
check yourself, before...
858
00:33:38,590 --> 00:33:40,255
Before...
859
00:33:40,257 --> 00:33:42,625
I wreck myself?
860
00:33:42,627 --> 00:33:44,059
- Is that what you're saying?
- Aw. Yes.
861
00:33:44,061 --> 00:33:46,762
Chickity-check myself, before
I wrickity-wreck myself?
862
00:33:46,764 --> 00:33:48,030
How does that make someone feel?
863
00:33:48,032 --> 00:33:50,032
To be told that they
might wreck themselves.
864
00:33:50,034 --> 00:33:51,901
You're not gonna wreck yourself.
865
00:33:51,903 --> 00:33:54,136
You made him feel bad. Why
don't you just leave him alone?
866
00:33:54,138 --> 00:33:56,172
- CHRIS: Look, he's not right.
- Gonna mellow out.
867
00:33:56,174 --> 00:33:58,811
Why don't you have some
weed and mellow out?
868
00:34:00,145 --> 00:34:02,211
- You got the weed?
- No.
869
00:34:02,213 --> 00:34:04,313
- You got the weed, dude?
- No.
870
00:34:04,315 --> 00:34:06,816
- She stole my fucking weed.
- [LAUGHS]
871
00:34:06,818 --> 00:34:08,585
She was rummaging through my jacket
872
00:34:08,587 --> 00:34:09,918
when I was hitting her from the back.
873
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:11,621
I knew it! She fucking took my weed!
874
00:34:11,623 --> 00:34:13,056
That serves you right.
875
00:34:13,058 --> 00:34:15,358
Dude, it's not funny!
She stole my fucking weed!
876
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,826
CHRIS: The last place I wanna be
877
00:34:16,828 --> 00:34:19,329
is outside my mom's house right now.
878
00:34:19,331 --> 00:34:22,599
School's far. Your mom lives close.
879
00:34:22,601 --> 00:34:24,333
How long did Mr. Green
say he would be here in?
880
00:34:24,335 --> 00:34:26,034
- Half hour.
- That's fine.
881
00:34:26,036 --> 00:34:27,936
Let's go in and wait. I'm freezing.
882
00:34:27,938 --> 00:34:30,206
No, no. We're not going inside.
My mom's probably asleep.
883
00:34:30,208 --> 00:34:32,942
A half hour for Mr. Green could
be two hours of standing here.
884
00:34:32,944 --> 00:34:35,878
We could be dead by then. We
could literally die by then.
885
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:37,380
Look, my mom doesn't know I'm here.
886
00:34:37,382 --> 00:34:39,282
So let it go. We're not going upstairs.
887
00:34:39,284 --> 00:34:41,683
- Really? You didn't tell her?
- No.
888
00:34:41,685 --> 00:34:42,951
I told her I was in Philly
889
00:34:42,953 --> 00:34:44,686
and I got a suite down at the Gansevoort.
890
00:34:44,688 --> 00:34:47,123
I just think your mom would be
happy to see you on Christmas.
891
00:34:47,125 --> 00:34:49,692
I'm not saying she wouldn't
be happy to see me, all right?
892
00:34:49,694 --> 00:34:51,360
There's just a lot you don't understand.
893
00:34:51,362 --> 00:34:53,096
All she wants to do is parade me around
894
00:34:53,098 --> 00:34:54,864
and show me off to people.
895
00:34:54,866 --> 00:34:57,000
Last time I was here, she
made me go to church with her
896
00:34:57,002 --> 00:34:59,668
and sign autographs, kiss
babies, tell people all my stats
897
00:34:59,670 --> 00:35:01,704
and what I did last Sunday. It's too much.
898
00:35:01,706 --> 00:35:02,971
- I have a question.
- CHRIS: What?
899
00:35:02,973 --> 00:35:05,842
Does your mother still have a Nintendo 64?
900
00:35:05,844 --> 00:35:07,844
Probably. She never
throws my stuff away. Why?
901
00:35:07,846 --> 00:35:10,079
Right. So that's why you
don't wanna go upstairs,
902
00:35:10,081 --> 00:35:12,681
because you're gonna lose at "GoldenEye."
903
00:35:12,683 --> 00:35:14,050
- ISAAC: "GoldenEye."
- "GoldenEye."
904
00:35:14,052 --> 00:35:16,786
Okay. Let's do it. One game.
905
00:35:16,788 --> 00:35:18,186
- Ah!
- Nobody touch.
- Shh!
906
00:35:18,188 --> 00:35:19,721
Nobody touch nothing.
907
00:35:19,723 --> 00:35:22,291
ISAAC: But I love touching things.
908
00:35:22,293 --> 00:35:24,192
Shh.
909
00:35:24,194 --> 00:35:25,795
[♪♪♪]
910
00:35:25,797 --> 00:35:27,900
[WHISPERING] All right, go, go, go.
911
00:35:29,067 --> 00:35:30,968
[ISAAC LAUGHING]
912
00:35:33,404 --> 00:35:35,103
Dude, did you die and not tell us?
913
00:35:35,105 --> 00:35:36,271
Shut up.
914
00:35:36,273 --> 00:35:37,873
It's amazing.
915
00:35:37,875 --> 00:35:40,108
I was there when you won
this. You must be so proud.
916
00:35:40,110 --> 00:35:41,710
Shut up and go.
917
00:35:41,712 --> 00:35:44,179
- ISAAC: Your bedroom.
- CHRIS: Shut up.
918
00:35:44,181 --> 00:35:45,380
Dude.
919
00:35:45,382 --> 00:35:47,016
- Ethan.
- What?
920
00:35:47,018 --> 00:35:47,849
I found you.
921
00:35:47,851 --> 00:35:50,119
- ETHAN: You found me?
- Check you out.
922
00:35:50,121 --> 00:35:52,288
ETHAN: Oh!
923
00:35:52,290 --> 00:35:54,157
[LAUGHING]
924
00:35:54,159 --> 00:35:55,458
Look at you, man.
925
00:35:55,460 --> 00:35:57,927
[CHUCKLING]
926
00:35:57,929 --> 00:36:00,697
You remember when we all
first met at the party?
927
00:36:00,699 --> 00:36:01,864
Whose fucking party was that?
928
00:36:01,866 --> 00:36:03,299
- Jocelyn Larue.
- Jocelyn Larue.
929
00:36:03,301 --> 00:36:04,866
ISAAC: Yeah, that's right.
930
00:36:04,868 --> 00:36:07,704
Remember the cops came? We
had to hide in the bathroom.
931
00:36:07,706 --> 00:36:09,172
For three hours.
932
00:36:09,174 --> 00:36:11,940
I was afraid we'd get caught,
you were so fucking loud.
933
00:36:11,942 --> 00:36:14,043
I remember you wore that
Bob Marley tie-dye T-shirt
934
00:36:14,045 --> 00:36:15,945
and I asked you if you smoked weed?
935
00:36:15,947 --> 00:36:18,181
I didn't smoke weed. I just
liked Bob Marley and tie-dye.
936
00:36:18,183 --> 00:36:20,183
I didn't get that was the
vibe I was putting out.
937
00:36:20,185 --> 00:36:22,884
You could have showed up
with purple hair and a cloak.
938
00:36:22,886 --> 00:36:24,286
That was my warlock phase.
939
00:36:24,288 --> 00:36:26,255
- That was a dope phase.
- CHRIS: Hell, yeah.
940
00:36:26,257 --> 00:36:28,190
I'm surprised you even talked to us, Chris.
941
00:36:28,192 --> 00:36:30,192
When I look back, I remember thinking:
942
00:36:30,194 --> 00:36:32,295
"This guy's a jock.
943
00:36:32,297 --> 00:36:35,130
And he's talking to a warlock
and a pretend pot-head."
944
00:36:35,132 --> 00:36:36,799
True.
945
00:36:36,801 --> 00:36:38,800
If it wasn't for y'all,
I would have never made it
946
00:36:38,802 --> 00:36:40,770
- through that school.
- [CELL PHONE BUZZING]
947
00:36:40,772 --> 00:36:42,105
- Shit. Wait, pause it.
- No, no pause.
948
00:36:42,107 --> 00:36:43,973
The phone's buzzing. You have to pause it.
949
00:36:43,975 --> 00:36:45,808
- I'm buying you weed!
- Just keep it down!
950
00:36:45,810 --> 00:36:47,043
Pause the fucking game.
951
00:36:47,045 --> 00:36:48,777
If you shoot me right now, you forfeit.
952
00:36:48,779 --> 00:36:50,012
Oh, my God, if my mom wakes up.
953
00:36:50,014 --> 00:36:51,947
Yeah, it's him. Mr. Green's here.
954
00:36:51,949 --> 00:36:54,150
I'll never get in his car
again. He freaked me out.
955
00:36:54,152 --> 00:36:55,985
Shh.
956
00:36:55,987 --> 00:36:57,320
I'll go.
957
00:36:57,322 --> 00:36:59,257
Can you even walk?
958
00:37:00,391 --> 00:37:02,358
I can fly.
959
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:04,396
[♪♪♪]
960
00:37:07,998 --> 00:37:10,099
Five-0, bro. You're busted.
961
00:37:10,101 --> 00:37:11,833
Are you fucking kidding me right now?
962
00:37:11,835 --> 00:37:13,001
Yeah, I'm just kidding.
963
00:37:13,003 --> 00:37:14,337
- Holy shit, dude.
- [LAUGHS]
964
00:37:14,339 --> 00:37:15,971
Don't do that.
965
00:37:15,973 --> 00:37:19,275
Oh, man. Hey, good seeing
you, dude. Long time.
966
00:37:19,277 --> 00:37:20,842
It has been a long time.
967
00:37:20,844 --> 00:37:23,813
- Been a long time, yeah.
- I remember you.
968
00:37:23,815 --> 00:37:26,882
And you know I'm proud
of what you've become.
969
00:37:26,884 --> 00:37:28,250
Husband, lawyer
970
00:37:28,252 --> 00:37:31,853
soon-to-be father.
That's really impressive.
971
00:37:31,855 --> 00:37:34,489
Me, I don't have time for kids.
972
00:37:34,491 --> 00:37:37,527
- You're all my children.
- Yeah.
973
00:37:37,529 --> 00:37:40,262
You ever think of me as a father figure?
974
00:37:40,264 --> 00:37:42,030
No.
975
00:37:42,032 --> 00:37:45,269
Put your tiny hand in mine.
976
00:37:46,404 --> 00:37:47,936
Yeah.
977
00:37:47,938 --> 00:37:50,438
- Rough night, huh?
- Little bit. Could you tell?
978
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:51,974
Am I wearing it on my sleeve?
979
00:37:51,976 --> 00:37:53,375
I did a lot of drugs.
980
00:37:53,377 --> 00:37:56,813
Mushrooms. Caps, too many
caps. Ate a lot of the caps.
981
00:37:56,815 --> 00:37:59,982
And I just think it kind of
made me freak out a little bit.
982
00:37:59,984 --> 00:38:02,552
And basically, I'm kind
of just having a hard time
983
00:38:02,554 --> 00:38:04,320
finding my place in all this.
984
00:38:04,322 --> 00:38:07,590
Relax.
985
00:38:07,592 --> 00:38:09,925
What's happening right now?
986
00:38:09,927 --> 00:38:12,463
Just looking into your soul, man.
987
00:38:13,897 --> 00:38:15,466
What are you seeing?
988
00:38:18,536 --> 00:38:20,436
You need a nice mellow indica.
989
00:38:20,438 --> 00:38:22,572
I got a great north Cali bud
990
00:38:22,574 --> 00:38:25,208
with a soothing body high
991
00:38:25,210 --> 00:38:29,612
and surprisingly accurate
visions of the future.
992
00:38:29,614 --> 00:38:32,114
Yeah, sure. Whatever you got, bro.
993
00:38:32,116 --> 00:38:35,851
Yeah. It's definitely a good time.
994
00:38:35,853 --> 00:38:37,485
Unless...
995
00:38:37,487 --> 00:38:41,626
you're dealing with some shit
you can't come to terms with.
996
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,293
No! That's not me! That's a different guy.
997
00:38:45,295 --> 00:38:47,096
I think all my issues are drug-related,
998
00:38:47,098 --> 00:38:50,199
and my emotional state is completely...
999
00:38:50,201 --> 00:38:54,070
cool, bro.
1000
00:38:54,072 --> 00:38:57,342
Just a little shot of
this. See if you like it.
1001
00:39:00,411 --> 00:39:02,210
Come on.
1002
00:39:02,212 --> 00:39:08,384
I'm good. I think I'll just
ride the wave, my main man.
1003
00:39:08,386 --> 00:39:10,418
I put my hands on you.
1004
00:39:10,420 --> 00:39:13,255
Take it.
1005
00:39:13,257 --> 00:39:14,726
Just not too hard.
1006
00:39:16,994 --> 00:39:18,960
Not too hard.
1007
00:39:18,962 --> 00:39:21,563
[COUGHING]
1008
00:39:21,565 --> 00:39:23,933
Where are we?
1009
00:39:23,935 --> 00:39:25,967
A strip club.
1010
00:39:25,969 --> 00:39:28,036
Eighteen years in the future.
1011
00:39:28,038 --> 00:39:30,306
- ISAAC: Is that my wife?
- MR. GREEN: Yeah.
1012
00:39:30,308 --> 00:39:32,440
You should probably talk to her.
1013
00:39:32,442 --> 00:39:35,645
I'm gonna get a beer, maybe a dance.
1014
00:39:35,647 --> 00:39:37,679
Cool.
1015
00:39:37,681 --> 00:39:39,514
- Hi.
- Sit down.
1016
00:39:39,516 --> 00:39:41,016
The show's about to start.
1017
00:39:41,018 --> 00:39:42,384
- Okay.
- ANNOUNCER: Okay, fellas,
1018
00:39:42,386 --> 00:39:45,121
let's hear it for Sierra!
1019
00:39:45,123 --> 00:39:46,588
BETSY: Whoo!
1020
00:39:46,590 --> 00:39:47,989
Isn't she amazing?
1021
00:39:47,991 --> 00:39:49,157
Who is that?
1022
00:39:49,159 --> 00:39:51,360
It's our beautiful baby girl.
1023
00:39:51,362 --> 00:39:54,096
What the fuck?
1024
00:39:54,098 --> 00:39:56,565
Whoo! Pop it, girl! Pop that P!
1025
00:39:56,567 --> 00:39:58,266
Pop it! Pop it!
1026
00:39:58,268 --> 00:40:00,603
You hear me, young lady? Pop your pussy!
1027
00:40:00,605 --> 00:40:03,139
It's okay, sweetie! You
don't have to pop your pussy!
1028
00:40:03,141 --> 00:40:06,608
You read all those books
and you didn't learn shit!
1029
00:40:06,610 --> 00:40:09,145
You really shit the bed as a dad!
1030
00:40:09,147 --> 00:40:10,279
[GROANS]
1031
00:40:10,281 --> 00:40:13,349
Here you go. Drip, drop. Drip, drop.
1032
00:40:13,351 --> 00:40:15,016
[SCREAMS]
1033
00:40:15,018 --> 00:40:16,217
- I know...
- No!
1034
00:40:16,219 --> 00:40:18,020
Look at my finger. Look at my finger.
1035
00:40:18,022 --> 00:40:19,288
You need to give me a hundred bucks
1036
00:40:19,290 --> 00:40:21,023
and get the fuck out of my car right now.
1037
00:40:21,025 --> 00:40:23,291
Okay! Here!
1038
00:40:23,293 --> 00:40:24,694
Get out.
1039
00:40:24,696 --> 00:40:26,764
[♪♪♪]
1040
00:40:29,299 --> 00:40:30,802
[SIGHS]
1041
00:40:46,451 --> 00:40:48,016
[POP SONG PLAYING AS RINGTONE]
1042
00:40:48,018 --> 00:40:50,186
♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪
1043
00:40:50,188 --> 00:40:52,420
♪ Hit me, baby One more time ♪
1044
00:40:52,422 --> 00:40:55,424
- ♪ Hit me, baby... ♪
- What are you doing?
1045
00:40:55,426 --> 00:40:57,994
I don't know what's happening.
Let's go. Let's bail.
1046
00:40:57,996 --> 00:40:59,527
Turn your phone off. You'll wake her up.
1047
00:40:59,529 --> 00:41:01,063
I don't know what's happening.
1048
00:41:01,065 --> 00:41:03,199
- Turn it off.
- WOMAN: Hello?
1049
00:41:03,201 --> 00:41:05,134
Hello?
1050
00:41:05,136 --> 00:41:08,036
Hey, Ma. It's Chrissy-poo!
1051
00:41:08,038 --> 00:41:10,605
Oh, my God! Chris!
1052
00:41:10,607 --> 00:41:11,741
Hey!
1053
00:41:11,743 --> 00:41:14,543
Oh, my God! Ethan!
1054
00:41:14,545 --> 00:41:16,177
[MRS. ROBERTS LAUGHS]
1055
00:41:16,179 --> 00:41:18,014
What are you guys doing?
1056
00:41:18,016 --> 00:41:20,349
- Merry Christmas!
- Surprise!
1057
00:41:20,351 --> 00:41:22,217
This is...
1058
00:41:22,219 --> 00:41:24,520
Are you hungry? I can heat up some food.
1059
00:41:24,522 --> 00:41:26,621
- Yeah!
- No, no, no.
1060
00:41:26,623 --> 00:41:29,391
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
1061
00:41:29,393 --> 00:41:30,393
Sweetheart.
1062
00:41:30,395 --> 00:41:33,329
- Oh, you smell like weed.
- No.
1063
00:41:33,331 --> 00:41:36,498
- [EXHALES]
- More meatloaf, Isaac?
1064
00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:38,534
Huh? Um, no, I'm okay.
1065
00:41:38,536 --> 00:41:41,337
Could I perhaps have some more chardonnay
1066
00:41:41,339 --> 00:41:44,040
to wash down my medication, please?
1067
00:41:44,042 --> 00:41:46,410
MRS. ROBERTS: Of course.
1068
00:41:51,648 --> 00:41:54,416
Thank you.
1069
00:41:54,418 --> 00:41:56,351
So, Ethan, what's going on with you?
1070
00:41:56,353 --> 00:41:57,420
Uh...
1071
00:41:57,422 --> 00:42:00,255
Not a lot. Just feeling good.
1072
00:42:00,257 --> 00:42:02,257
You got somebody special in your life?
1073
00:42:02,259 --> 00:42:03,226
No.
1074
00:42:03,228 --> 00:42:05,226
There was a young lady that he used to date
1075
00:42:05,228 --> 00:42:06,795
that he ran into today
1076
00:42:06,797 --> 00:42:09,398
that I thought was pretty damn awesome.
1077
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:11,634
- Yeah? What happened?
- It's a long story.
1078
00:42:11,636 --> 00:42:13,469
Not that long. She wanted to get serious,
1079
00:42:13,471 --> 00:42:14,804
but he wouldn't meet her parents.
1080
00:42:14,806 --> 00:42:16,404
She wanted to move in,
1081
00:42:16,406 --> 00:42:18,139
and you said you weren't
in the right head place
1082
00:42:18,141 --> 00:42:19,308
for her to move in.
1083
00:42:19,310 --> 00:42:20,809
That's some straight-up bullshit.
1084
00:42:20,811 --> 00:42:22,210
Give me some, Ma.
1085
00:42:22,212 --> 00:42:23,545
Okay, okay, okay.
1086
00:42:23,547 --> 00:42:25,514
What, are you guys ganging up on me now?
1087
00:42:25,516 --> 00:42:28,317
- You like this woman?
- Yeah, she's awesome,
1088
00:42:28,319 --> 00:42:31,253
but there's a whole history
here that he's brushing over.
1089
00:42:31,255 --> 00:42:32,721
You want her back?
1090
00:42:32,723 --> 00:42:35,257
Yeah. I do.
1091
00:42:35,259 --> 00:42:37,559
If you want this woman, you're
gonna have to work for her.
1092
00:42:37,561 --> 00:42:41,630
But you happen to be very
lucky, because it's Christmas.
1093
00:42:41,632 --> 00:42:44,366
And there's magic in the air at Christmas.
1094
00:42:44,368 --> 00:42:47,570
People's hearts are open.
People want to forgive.
1095
00:42:47,572 --> 00:42:49,572
People want love.
1096
00:42:49,574 --> 00:42:51,574
I'd take advantage of that shit.
1097
00:42:51,576 --> 00:42:55,511
Find the opportunity, and seize it.
1098
00:42:55,513 --> 00:42:57,679
- Thank you, Mrs. Roberts.
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
1099
00:42:57,681 --> 00:43:00,715
MRS. ROBERTS: I almost forgot,
I'm gonna need some more headshots.
1100
00:43:00,717 --> 00:43:02,418
[♪♪♪]
1101
00:43:02,420 --> 00:43:04,753
ISAAC: Huh. A dick from
someone named James?
1102
00:43:04,755 --> 00:43:07,322
His name is on my phone, I
must know him. Who is he?
1103
00:43:07,324 --> 00:43:08,590
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
1104
00:43:08,592 --> 00:43:10,592
Do I like it? What does that mean?
1105
00:43:10,594 --> 00:43:14,663
Oh, man. Maybe it's
James McFoley from work.
1106
00:43:14,665 --> 00:43:16,232
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
1107
00:43:16,234 --> 00:43:17,599
Holy shit.
1108
00:43:17,601 --> 00:43:19,467
[EXHALES]
1109
00:43:19,469 --> 00:43:21,337
This guy's a grower and a shower.
1110
00:43:21,339 --> 00:43:23,204
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
1111
00:43:23,206 --> 00:43:25,843
Do I like it more now? Jesus.
I mean, it's a dope dick.
1112
00:43:27,210 --> 00:43:28,543
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
1113
00:43:28,545 --> 00:43:30,346
Do I want it?
1114
00:43:30,348 --> 00:43:34,349
Who wouldn't want a dick
that looks like that?
1115
00:43:34,351 --> 00:43:36,184
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
1116
00:43:36,186 --> 00:43:37,719
Do I wanna suck it? Oh, man.
1117
00:43:37,721 --> 00:43:39,387
Uh...
1118
00:43:39,389 --> 00:43:41,290
I'm gonna start putting
people's last names
1119
00:43:41,292 --> 00:43:43,759
on my contacts.
1120
00:43:43,761 --> 00:43:45,360
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
1121
00:43:45,362 --> 00:43:48,797
No, I've never sucked
a dick but, well,
1122
00:43:48,799 --> 00:43:51,669
if I'm being totally
honest with myself...
1123
00:43:54,371 --> 00:43:55,804
Damn it, why'd I tell him that?
1124
00:43:55,806 --> 00:43:57,773
This James guy is just
so easy to talk to.
1125
00:43:57,775 --> 00:43:59,175
I told him too much.
1126
00:43:59,177 --> 00:44:02,344
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
1127
00:44:02,346 --> 00:44:04,445
Man, I guess that settles it.
1128
00:44:04,447 --> 00:44:07,715
Isaac Greenberg is sucking
his first dick tonight.
1129
00:44:07,717 --> 00:44:10,251
Did he tell you that they've
named a park after him?
1130
00:44:10,253 --> 00:44:11,520
You're gonna have a park named after you?
1131
00:44:11,522 --> 00:44:13,755
I petitioned the city, I got the signatures
1132
00:44:13,757 --> 00:44:16,391
and now there's gonna be the
sweetest little playground
1133
00:44:16,393 --> 00:44:17,860
in Brooklyn that's named after him.
1134
00:44:17,862 --> 00:44:20,962
The park is not that nice!
There are crackheads, and...
1135
00:44:20,964 --> 00:44:22,697
Sweetheart, they're gonna clean that up.
1136
00:44:22,699 --> 00:44:24,666
We should get ready to
go, guys. We have to move.
1137
00:44:24,668 --> 00:44:26,534
- We're gonna miss the party.
- That's true.
1138
00:44:26,536 --> 00:44:28,436
Why don't I just wrap all of this up?
1139
00:44:28,438 --> 00:44:30,773
You guys can take it down
to the homeless shelter.
1140
00:44:30,775 --> 00:44:34,409
It's only a few blocks away.
I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
1141
00:44:34,411 --> 00:44:35,710
You're right, Mom.
1142
00:44:35,712 --> 00:44:38,346
You boys are so sweet.
Thank you for coming.
1143
00:44:38,348 --> 00:44:39,715
[CELL PHONE CHIMES AND ISAAC GROANS]
1144
00:44:39,717 --> 00:44:41,650
- Wanna help me in the kitchen?
- Okay.
1145
00:44:41,652 --> 00:44:43,485
Thanks so much for dinner, Mrs. Roberts.
1146
00:44:43,487 --> 00:44:45,688
You're welcome, sweetheart!
1147
00:44:45,690 --> 00:44:48,757
Dude, what the fuck is going on with you?
1148
00:44:48,759 --> 00:44:50,291
- Are you gay?
- ISAAC: No!
1149
00:44:50,293 --> 00:44:51,626
Are you curious?
1150
00:44:51,628 --> 00:44:54,563
Everyone is! What does
that have to do with this?
1151
00:44:54,565 --> 00:44:56,465
I don't know. Why are you looking up dicks?
1152
00:44:56,467 --> 00:44:58,800
- Someone's sending me dicks.
- Someone's sending you that?
1153
00:44:58,802 --> 00:45:01,270
Look, I'll show you. It's
a fucking conversation.
1154
00:45:01,272 --> 00:45:02,438
It's some guy named James.
1155
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:03,838
A very nice, eloquent man named James
1156
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:06,308
is sending me his penis. And
he wants me to suck on it.
1157
00:45:06,310 --> 00:45:07,576
I don't know what to do.
1158
00:45:07,578 --> 00:45:08,978
I'm freaking out. Should I do it?
1159
00:45:08,980 --> 00:45:10,445
This isn't your phone, man.
1160
00:45:10,447 --> 00:45:11,980
Dude, this isn't your phone!
1161
00:45:11,982 --> 00:45:14,449
Oh, shit. Is this Sarah's phone?
1162
00:45:14,451 --> 00:45:16,351
- Oh, no.
- What?
1163
00:45:16,353 --> 00:45:18,487
- She has my phone.
- It's okay, man.
1164
00:45:18,489 --> 00:45:20,389
We know her. We can get your phone back.
1165
00:45:20,391 --> 00:45:22,424
There's something bad on my phone.
1166
00:45:22,426 --> 00:45:23,992
You gonna be around tomorrow?
1167
00:45:23,994 --> 00:45:27,295
Folks out at the church would
love to see you. Aunt would too.
1168
00:45:27,297 --> 00:45:29,465
Um, you know I'm busy, so...
1169
00:45:29,467 --> 00:45:31,366
I don't really like to do that stuff, Ma.
1170
00:45:31,368 --> 00:45:32,701
Won't take much time, Boo.
1171
00:45:32,703 --> 00:45:34,902
I know. It's just I have an early flight,
1172
00:45:34,904 --> 00:45:37,973
and I feel bad that I have
to run back to work so fast.
1173
00:45:37,975 --> 00:45:39,741
I just got so much stuff going on.
1174
00:45:39,743 --> 00:45:42,011
I'm a celebrity now. I got appearances.
1175
00:45:42,013 --> 00:45:44,012
I got all kinds of stuff I have to do, Ma.
1176
00:45:44,014 --> 00:45:46,748
I can't just be lollygagging around
1177
00:45:46,750 --> 00:45:49,717
and meeting old people.
1178
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:50,585
I love you.
1179
00:45:50,587 --> 00:45:53,355
Betsy is gonna get that tape from Sarah
1180
00:45:53,357 --> 00:45:55,056
and she's gonna freak the fuck out.
1181
00:45:55,058 --> 00:45:57,358
Why? Why would Betsy get the tape?
1182
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,596
Because I put cocaine blood
into her fucking drink.
1183
00:46:00,598 --> 00:46:02,498
And no one wants to drink cocaine blood.
1184
00:46:02,500 --> 00:46:04,465
Yeah. I'm gonna call her.
1185
00:46:04,467 --> 00:46:06,501
- How do you know her number?
- It's your number.
1186
00:46:06,503 --> 00:46:07,969
I'm trusting you on this.
1187
00:46:07,971 --> 00:46:10,405
I don't understand what's
happening. Where are we?
1188
00:46:10,407 --> 00:46:12,074
Sarah has your phone. So I'm calling it.
1189
00:46:12,076 --> 00:46:13,741
[WHISPERS] Where are we right now?
1190
00:46:13,743 --> 00:46:15,411
[WHISPERS] We're at Chris' house.
1191
00:46:15,413 --> 00:46:18,846
- What the fuck?
- You just stay calm, all right?
1192
00:46:18,848 --> 00:46:20,949
- It'll be okay.
- Oh, yeah.
1193
00:46:20,951 --> 00:46:22,317
Oh, yeah.
1194
00:46:22,319 --> 00:46:23,719
You like that?
1195
00:46:23,721 --> 00:46:26,387
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Okay.
Here's the bad news.
1196
00:46:26,389 --> 00:46:27,690
- She didn't pick up.
- What?
1197
00:46:27,692 --> 00:46:29,958
- Everything's fine!
- ISAAC: I bit my tongue!
1198
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:31,492
That boy need Jesus.
1199
00:46:31,494 --> 00:46:32,795
He needs something.
1200
00:46:32,797 --> 00:46:34,663
It's gonna be okay.
1201
00:46:34,665 --> 00:46:37,333
You know what I'm gonna do? Use
Find My iPhone, find the phone.
1202
00:46:37,335 --> 00:46:39,534
It's loading. There it is! It's in midtown.
1203
00:46:39,536 --> 00:46:40,869
Your phone's in midtown.
1204
00:46:40,871 --> 00:46:42,103
- It's all good.
- Ha!
1205
00:46:42,105 --> 00:46:43,471
- [LAUGHS]
- Okay. All right.
1206
00:46:43,473 --> 00:46:44,940
So here's the thing.
1207
00:46:44,942 --> 00:46:47,775
We're gonna go to the
party, because Sarah's going.
1208
00:46:47,777 --> 00:46:48,944
Guys, let's go.
1209
00:46:48,946 --> 00:46:50,813
- You be safe.
- Guys, be careful.
1210
00:46:50,815 --> 00:46:52,815
Let's go, guys!
1211
00:46:52,817 --> 00:46:55,683
MRS. ROBERTS: Let me get you a bag.
You're gonna need a bag. Wait up!
1212
00:46:55,685 --> 00:46:57,453
This guy's dick is off the charts.
1213
00:46:57,455 --> 00:46:59,454
Yo, it's your man C-Rob coming at you live
1214
00:46:59,456 --> 00:47:00,822
from outside the homeless shelter.
1215
00:47:00,824 --> 00:47:02,690
We delivering turkeys to homeless people
1216
00:47:02,692 --> 00:47:04,793
'cause it's the giving
season and they be gobbling,
1217
00:47:04,795 --> 00:47:07,529
you know what I mean? If
you're in the season of giving,
1218
00:47:07,531 --> 00:47:09,764
hit me up @Chrisrob11,
hashtag "selfless giving."
1219
00:47:09,766 --> 00:47:12,433
And remember, it's not a good
deed if no one knows about it.
1220
00:47:12,435 --> 00:47:15,103
- I got another dick, dude!
- Uh, drink Red Bull.
1221
00:47:15,105 --> 00:47:18,005
Oh, shit. Look, man, it's her!
1222
00:47:18,007 --> 00:47:21,576
It's the super fan, sex
maniac that stole my weed.
1223
00:47:21,578 --> 00:47:23,978
- Come on, let's follow her.
- No, we're not gonna follow her.
1224
00:47:23,980 --> 00:47:26,114
Let's just drop off the
food and go to the party!
1225
00:47:26,116 --> 00:47:29,050
CHRIS: Shit! Look! Now she's
stealing from homeless people!
1226
00:47:29,052 --> 00:47:30,652
That's not right!
1227
00:47:30,654 --> 00:47:32,788
- Now, I'm going to teach her a lesson.
- Okay.
1228
00:47:32,790 --> 00:47:35,623
CHRIS: Hey! Did you steal my weed?
1229
00:47:35,625 --> 00:47:38,594
- Uh, no.
- We just saw you
1230
00:47:38,596 --> 00:47:41,496
rob some homeless people and
I'm missing my weed, so...
1231
00:47:41,498 --> 00:47:43,766
You got me, I stole your weed.
1232
00:47:43,768 --> 00:47:48,003
But I told you right away that
I'm kind of a Grinch. Okay?
1233
00:47:48,005 --> 00:47:49,737
- Aah!
- Oh.
1234
00:47:49,739 --> 00:47:52,407
- Eat me, sheep.
- You're an actual Grinch.
1235
00:47:52,409 --> 00:47:53,708
You're like the mayor of Whoville.
1236
00:47:53,710 --> 00:47:55,476
I'm building a body of work.
1237
00:47:55,478 --> 00:47:57,145
I'm following in the path
of my Christmas heroes:
1238
00:47:57,147 --> 00:48:01,516
The Grinch, the Sticky Bandits,
Hans Gruber from Die Hard.
1239
00:48:01,518 --> 00:48:03,886
I walked by you and I heard you going on
1240
00:48:03,888 --> 00:48:05,621
about your Christmas plans
1241
00:48:05,623 --> 00:48:09,157
and you're this football
douche and I Google you...
1242
00:48:09,159 --> 00:48:11,960
Jackpot! I pretend to be a fan,
1243
00:48:11,962 --> 00:48:13,529
we have sex, yaas.
1244
00:48:13,531 --> 00:48:14,929
And then I stole your weed.
1245
00:48:14,931 --> 00:48:17,032
You don't steal from people on Christmas.
1246
00:48:17,034 --> 00:48:18,599
I just want my weed back.
1247
00:48:18,601 --> 00:48:20,436
You're really cute when you get mad.
1248
00:48:20,438 --> 00:48:21,770
That's cute.
1249
00:48:21,772 --> 00:48:23,538
This is the thing I didn't expect.
1250
00:48:23,540 --> 00:48:25,507
To fucking like you, dude.
1251
00:48:25,509 --> 00:48:27,576
You are so funny
1252
00:48:27,578 --> 00:48:30,112
and talented, and handsome.
1253
00:48:30,114 --> 00:48:32,980
And easy. My God, dude!
1254
00:48:32,982 --> 00:48:35,550
Hey!
1255
00:48:35,552 --> 00:48:36,884
I'm gonna fucking catch...
1256
00:48:36,886 --> 00:48:39,054
[YELLS, GRUNTS]
1257
00:48:39,056 --> 00:48:40,489
Later, sucka!
1258
00:48:40,491 --> 00:48:41,657
CHRIS: She Home Alone'd me!
1259
00:48:41,659 --> 00:48:43,125
ETHAN: Are these Micro Machines?
1260
00:48:43,127 --> 00:48:44,492
- Wow!
- Let's go.
1261
00:48:44,494 --> 00:48:45,860
Girl's a genius.
1262
00:48:45,862 --> 00:48:48,931
Josh, hit the gas! Go!
We got to catch that girl!
1263
00:48:48,933 --> 00:48:51,699
Go down to the corner and make a
right! Hurry up, man! Chase her!
1264
00:48:51,701 --> 00:48:54,069
- Who?
- The girl who stole my weed! Hurry up!
1265
00:48:54,071 --> 00:48:55,603
- She stole your weed?
- Yeah.
1266
00:48:55,605 --> 00:48:57,239
That fucking bitch. I'm gonna kill her.
1267
00:48:57,241 --> 00:48:58,940
Go get her, baby!
1268
00:48:58,942 --> 00:49:00,842
[♪♪♪]
1269
00:49:00,844 --> 00:49:02,110
Not so fast!
1270
00:49:02,112 --> 00:49:04,048
[LAUGHING]
1271
00:49:07,083 --> 00:49:08,884
Guys, my iPhone's that way!
1272
00:49:08,886 --> 00:49:12,688
We got to find my iPhone!
It's the other direction! Wait!
1273
00:49:12,690 --> 00:49:14,956
- Slow down!
- Speed up! Don't slow down!
1274
00:49:14,958 --> 00:49:16,958
If you're my guy, you won't slow down!
1275
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:18,226
Hit the gas! Hit the gas!
1276
00:49:18,228 --> 00:49:19,862
Let's go.
1277
00:49:19,864 --> 00:49:21,733
[TIRES SCREECHING]
1278
00:49:24,235 --> 00:49:26,067
CHRIS: There she is! There she is!
1279
00:49:26,069 --> 00:49:28,737
We got her! We got her!
1280
00:49:28,739 --> 00:49:30,572
Red light, red light!
1281
00:49:30,574 --> 00:49:32,974
No! You run that light! Are you my guy?
1282
00:49:32,976 --> 00:49:34,509
I'm your guy.
1283
00:49:34,511 --> 00:49:36,844
Give me your hand! Run
through that light, baby!
1284
00:49:36,846 --> 00:49:38,248
[SCREAMS]
1285
00:49:44,889 --> 00:49:49,891
Oh, I fucked up. I fucked up.
1286
00:49:49,893 --> 00:49:52,126
I'm sorry.
1287
00:49:52,128 --> 00:49:53,661
Oh!
1288
00:49:53,663 --> 00:49:55,831
- Are we alive?
- Yeah.
1289
00:49:55,833 --> 00:49:58,634
Look. Look, it's a sleigh.
We can still get her.
1290
00:49:58,636 --> 00:50:00,601
No. Let's just go to the party, okay?
1291
00:50:00,603 --> 00:50:01,869
We're going on a sleigh ride!
1292
00:50:01,871 --> 00:50:03,605
No! We're not going on a sleigh ride.
1293
00:50:03,607 --> 00:50:06,007
Come on, Joshua!
1294
00:50:06,009 --> 00:50:07,608
[♪♪♪]
1295
00:50:07,610 --> 00:50:09,043
ISAAC [LAUGHING]: Shotgun!
1296
00:50:09,045 --> 00:50:10,811
- Shotgun!
- [NEIGHS]
1297
00:50:10,813 --> 00:50:13,248
Hurry up. You guys know
this can't possibly work.
1298
00:50:13,250 --> 00:50:14,782
Of course it'll work!
1299
00:50:14,784 --> 00:50:16,684
- Let's get that Grinch!
- Let's find my phone!
1300
00:50:16,686 --> 00:50:18,789
Mush, motherfucker! Aah!
1301
00:50:21,025 --> 00:50:22,925
[SCREAMS]
1302
00:50:22,927 --> 00:50:24,862
[HORSE NEIGHS]
1303
00:50:26,063 --> 00:50:27,295
I'm stuck!
1304
00:50:27,297 --> 00:50:29,030
My hands are stuck!
1305
00:50:29,032 --> 00:50:30,299
[CAR HORN HONKING]
1306
00:50:30,301 --> 00:50:31,833
No, no, no!
1307
00:50:31,835 --> 00:50:33,236
Fuck!
1308
00:50:34,304 --> 00:50:36,837
Shit, shit, shit!
1309
00:50:36,839 --> 00:50:38,040
Unh!
1310
00:50:38,042 --> 00:50:39,775
Dude!
1311
00:50:39,777 --> 00:50:41,742
What happened just now?
1312
00:50:41,744 --> 00:50:43,210
He's okay. He looks okay.
1313
00:50:43,212 --> 00:50:45,646
We have to go! She went this
way! Let's go get this weed!
1314
00:50:45,648 --> 00:50:47,181
No. Forget about the weed, man!
1315
00:50:47,183 --> 00:50:49,650
We're not gonna split up
now. Let's go to the party.
1316
00:50:49,652 --> 00:50:50,953
No. You don't understand, man!
1317
00:50:50,955 --> 00:50:52,654
It's really important! It's for Tommy.
1318
00:50:52,656 --> 00:50:53,855
It's not important!
1319
00:50:53,857 --> 00:50:55,190
I'll meet you at the F Train!
1320
00:50:55,192 --> 00:50:56,358
You fucking believe this guy?
1321
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:57,759
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
1322
00:50:57,761 --> 00:50:59,061
My phone! It's close! I got to go!
1323
00:50:59,063 --> 00:51:01,762
- No. Listen to me.
- No. You listen to me.
1324
00:51:01,764 --> 00:51:04,632
If I die, they will play
this video at my funeral!
1325
00:51:04,634 --> 00:51:06,668
- Okay! You're on drugs!
- Yes!
1326
00:51:06,670 --> 00:51:08,136
- You're not making sense!
- No!
1327
00:51:08,138 --> 00:51:09,737
- Trust me.
- Okay.
1328
00:51:09,739 --> 00:51:12,641
We're gonna stick together.
And go to the party.
1329
00:51:12,643 --> 00:51:13,808
I'll meet you at the F Train!
1330
00:51:13,810 --> 00:51:17,746
No! Dude! What the fuck!
1331
00:51:17,748 --> 00:51:19,047
ISAAC: This is crazy.
1332
00:51:19,049 --> 00:51:22,717
Oh, come on. How does this fucking work?
1333
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:24,853
This is so confusing.
1334
00:51:24,855 --> 00:51:26,355
Fuck!
1335
00:51:26,357 --> 00:51:27,855
My eyes aren't working.
1336
00:51:27,857 --> 00:51:30,260
What asshole invented this stupid thing?
1337
00:51:34,130 --> 00:51:37,733
- Hey, man. Excuse me.
- MAN 1: Hey. How's it going?
1338
00:51:37,735 --> 00:51:39,233
- I'm Isaac.
- Hi, Isaac.
1339
00:51:39,235 --> 00:51:40,969
I hate to bug you.
1340
00:51:40,971 --> 00:51:44,172
I lost my phone, and I'm using
this app to try to find it.
1341
00:51:44,174 --> 00:51:46,907
I'm kind of having a hard time.
It's confusing me a little bit.
1342
00:51:46,909 --> 00:51:48,376
You think you can maybe help me out?
1343
00:51:48,378 --> 00:51:49,911
Sure, hold my cane for a second.
1344
00:51:49,913 --> 00:51:53,248
Awesome. Sure, I'll hold your cane.
1345
00:51:53,250 --> 00:51:54,849
Hey, Merry Christmas, Isaac.
1346
00:51:54,851 --> 00:51:56,851
Merry Christmas to you too, man.
1347
00:51:56,853 --> 00:51:57,985
Thanks.
1348
00:51:57,987 --> 00:52:00,087
I've been having a pretty crazy night.
1349
00:52:00,089 --> 00:52:03,391
I'm gonna level with you, I'm
a little fucked up right now.
1350
00:52:03,393 --> 00:52:05,994
- No way. You don't say?
- Yeah.
1351
00:52:05,996 --> 00:52:08,262
- What's your name?
- Spencer.
1352
00:52:08,264 --> 00:52:09,864
That's my family over there.
1353
00:52:09,866 --> 00:52:11,967
Hi! I'm Isaac, nice to meet you.
1354
00:52:11,969 --> 00:52:14,235
- MAN 2: What's up, man?
- MAN 3: Hey.
1355
00:52:14,237 --> 00:52:16,070
You have dogs.
1356
00:52:16,072 --> 00:52:18,206
- Can I pet them?
- Go ahead. They're fine.
1357
00:52:18,208 --> 00:52:20,442
- Thank you.
- SPENCER: You're very welcome.
1358
00:52:20,444 --> 00:52:22,878
- Hi, guys.
- DONKEY: What's up, Isaac?
1359
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:24,846
Come on and give us a pat.
1360
00:52:24,848 --> 00:52:26,782
Oh my God, they talk!
1361
00:52:26,784 --> 00:52:28,215
Of course. All dogs can talk.
1362
00:52:28,217 --> 00:52:30,686
- There's another one.
- SHEEP: That tickles.
1363
00:52:30,688 --> 00:52:32,020
Oh, hi. I love you.
1364
00:52:32,022 --> 00:52:33,423
Isaac?
1365
00:52:35,092 --> 00:52:36,257
Betsy!
1366
00:52:36,259 --> 00:52:38,893
Oh, shit.
1367
00:52:38,895 --> 00:52:40,027
[LAUGHS]
1368
00:52:40,029 --> 00:52:41,730
Hi.
1369
00:52:41,732 --> 00:52:43,699
[LAUGHING] Wow.
1370
00:52:43,701 --> 00:52:45,433
- Hi.
- Hi.
1371
00:52:45,435 --> 00:52:47,134
Okay.
1372
00:52:47,136 --> 00:52:49,438
I never wanna let go.
1373
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:51,038
What's happening?
1374
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:52,873
What are you doing here right now?
1375
00:52:52,875 --> 00:52:55,177
What were you doing in the nativity scene?
1376
00:52:55,179 --> 00:52:57,179
I was hanging out with
Spencer and his family.
1377
00:52:57,181 --> 00:52:59,146
- They're really beautiful people.
- Spencer?
1378
00:52:59,148 --> 00:53:01,116
They're great people. They're interracial.
1379
00:53:01,118 --> 00:53:03,217
Why do you have a staff, honey?
1380
00:53:03,219 --> 00:53:05,454
What's happening right
now? Where are we now?
1381
00:53:05,456 --> 00:53:07,088
This is the church. Do you remember?
1382
00:53:07,090 --> 00:53:09,023
- You're here for that?
- Yes.
1383
00:53:09,025 --> 00:53:11,259
And I'm just telling you
right now that you need to go
1384
00:53:11,261 --> 00:53:14,195
because my family is paying
for the cab right now.
1385
00:53:14,197 --> 00:53:16,764
So you need to get out of
here before they show up.
1386
00:53:16,766 --> 00:53:18,065
- Your family is coming?
- Yeah.
1387
00:53:18,067 --> 00:53:20,101
- So maybe go run the other way.
- Where should I go?
1388
00:53:20,103 --> 00:53:22,103
Just fucking go before they get here. Go.
1389
00:53:22,105 --> 00:53:24,739
I love you. Okay? I love you.
1390
00:53:24,741 --> 00:53:27,141
- Okay. I love you. Bye.
- All right, bye.
1391
00:53:27,143 --> 00:53:28,944
That's very sweet. Bye.
1392
00:53:28,946 --> 00:53:31,145
What are you coming back
for? Just go that way!
1393
00:53:31,147 --> 00:53:32,413
I don't know where...
1394
00:53:32,415 --> 00:53:34,382
No, no, no! Not inside the church.
1395
00:53:34,384 --> 00:53:35,817
Go, go, go.
1396
00:53:35,819 --> 00:53:37,018
Get the fuck out of here.
1397
00:53:37,020 --> 00:53:39,387
- Wait. I know them. Hi!
- Hi.
1398
00:53:39,389 --> 00:53:41,088
ISAAC: Hi!
1399
00:53:41,090 --> 00:53:43,324
- Oh, my God! Look at you guys.
- It's so good to see you!
1400
00:53:43,326 --> 00:53:45,092
What a hat.
1401
00:53:45,094 --> 00:53:47,295
Why don't you come join us?
Come on in for midnight mass.
1402
00:53:47,297 --> 00:53:49,431
Oh, no. I don't think that's a good idea.
1403
00:53:49,433 --> 00:53:51,032
CINDY: Why not?
1404
00:53:51,034 --> 00:53:52,933
He's hanging out with his friends tonight.
1405
00:53:52,935 --> 00:53:54,503
- Right, Isaac?
- I don't see anybody.
1406
00:53:54,505 --> 00:53:56,170
I don't know where they are right now.
1407
00:53:56,172 --> 00:53:58,373
- Come sit with us.
- I've never been in a church.
1408
00:53:58,375 --> 00:53:59,541
CINDY: Come on.
1409
00:53:59,543 --> 00:54:01,208
Okay. Yeah?
1410
00:54:01,210 --> 00:54:03,445
CINDY: Yeah. Great! I'll see you in there!
1411
00:54:03,447 --> 00:54:05,045
Let's go to midnight mass together.
1412
00:54:05,047 --> 00:54:08,282
Okay. Yeah, if you say so.
1413
00:54:08,284 --> 00:54:09,918
Save us a seat.
1414
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:12,023
How fucked up are you right now?
1415
00:54:13,223 --> 00:54:15,857
I'm not fucked up at
all, Betsy. I'm your rock.
1416
00:54:15,859 --> 00:54:18,092
- You look like a crack rock.
- I'm not.
1417
00:54:18,094 --> 00:54:19,895
Don't say that. Are you mad at me?
1418
00:54:19,897 --> 00:54:22,029
- No, just walk normal, please.
- I'm walking normal.
1419
00:54:22,031 --> 00:54:23,532
BETSY: No, you're not.
1420
00:54:23,534 --> 00:54:26,233
Don't put it there, Isaac.
1421
00:54:26,235 --> 00:54:27,536
And it's gone.
1422
00:54:27,538 --> 00:54:29,871
Hi. Merry Christmas.
1423
00:54:29,873 --> 00:54:32,075
[♪♪♪]
1424
00:54:33,576 --> 00:54:36,177
[MAN 1 GROANING]
1425
00:54:36,179 --> 00:54:38,212
MAN 2: Are you giving birth to piss?
1426
00:54:38,214 --> 00:54:41,449
MAN 1: Oh, my God. I'm just
trying not to shit my pants.
1427
00:54:41,451 --> 00:54:43,150
- MAN 2: You should.
- MAN 1: I should?
1428
00:54:43,152 --> 00:54:44,985
MAN 2: You should just do it. Why not?
1429
00:54:44,987 --> 00:54:46,954
MAN 1: I should just
drop a deuce in my shorts.
1430
00:54:46,956 --> 00:54:48,123
MAN 2: Just do it!
1431
00:54:48,125 --> 00:54:49,858
That's great. Two more assholes
1432
00:54:49,860 --> 00:54:51,458
that don't give a fuck about Christmas.
1433
00:54:51,460 --> 00:54:52,828
What?
1434
00:54:52,830 --> 00:54:54,029
What are you guys doing?
1435
00:54:54,031 --> 00:54:56,030
Santa pub crawl, bro!
1436
00:54:56,032 --> 00:54:59,900
Guys, Santa Claus is
a very meaningful thing
1437
00:54:59,902 --> 00:55:01,235
to a lot of people.
1438
00:55:01,237 --> 00:55:03,304
A lot of children!
1439
00:55:03,306 --> 00:55:04,873
Here's the thing, man.
1440
00:55:04,875 --> 00:55:06,974
For those kids, they're
living a fucking lie!
1441
00:55:06,976 --> 00:55:09,911
Yeah. Spoiler alert: Santa's not real,
1442
00:55:09,913 --> 00:55:12,346
- you pricky infant.
- This is a costume!
1443
00:55:12,348 --> 00:55:16,518
But when you put on that costume
and you portray Santa Claus,
1444
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:21,456
you're taking a solemn oath
to represent certain values
1445
00:55:21,458 --> 00:55:23,157
that it represents!
1446
00:55:23,159 --> 00:55:26,293
You know who you remind me
of? One of my angry elves.
1447
00:55:26,295 --> 00:55:28,496
Fuck! No. Look, don't call me an elf.
1448
00:55:28,498 --> 00:55:30,065
You got him with that one, Santa.
1449
00:55:30,067 --> 00:55:32,032
Fuck you, "don't call
me an elf!" Motherfucker!
1450
00:55:32,034 --> 00:55:34,034
Get back to the workshop!
You work for us, elf!
1451
00:55:34,036 --> 00:55:36,871
- Go back to the workshop, elf!
- [LAUGHS]
1452
00:55:36,873 --> 00:55:39,641
This little elf has no
friends on Christmas.
1453
00:55:39,643 --> 00:55:41,543
My friends are just down there.
1454
00:55:41,545 --> 00:55:45,145
Where are they? We're friends.
We even dressed the same,
1455
00:55:45,147 --> 00:55:48,116
but you, you're all alone,
just like a fucking dum-dum.
1456
00:55:48,118 --> 00:55:50,485
Oh, my God. Are you gonna cry? Aw.
1457
00:55:50,487 --> 00:55:53,288
Did Mommy and Daddy leave
you alone on Christmas?
1458
00:55:53,290 --> 00:55:55,056
Oh, shit!
1459
00:55:55,058 --> 00:55:58,595
That's for disrespecting
the spirit of Christmas!
1460
00:56:01,632 --> 00:56:03,400
Oh, fuck.
1461
00:56:04,902 --> 00:56:06,433
ETHAN: Fuck you!
1462
00:56:06,435 --> 00:56:09,137
Man, this really feels like
it's about something else here.
1463
00:56:09,139 --> 00:56:11,605
It's about this and
only this! Nothing else!
1464
00:56:11,607 --> 00:56:13,608
I think you're sublimating, man.
1465
00:56:13,610 --> 00:56:15,242
I do not wanna hurt you, man.
1466
00:56:15,244 --> 00:56:18,182
No, no, no. I wanna hurt
him. He sucker-punched me.
1467
00:56:19,516 --> 00:56:20,681
[LAUGHS]
1468
00:56:20,683 --> 00:56:22,483
You fucking frat boys!
1469
00:56:22,485 --> 00:56:24,418
I'm an orthopedic surgeon.
1470
00:56:24,420 --> 00:56:26,454
I teach third grade, bitch!
1471
00:56:26,456 --> 00:56:29,456
I shape our nation's youth!
1472
00:56:29,458 --> 00:56:33,527
What is with this holiday? It
just fucks with people's heads.
1473
00:56:33,529 --> 00:56:35,329
[GROANS]
1474
00:56:35,331 --> 00:56:37,998
This needs to be important to you.
1475
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:39,668
- It's ringing.
- Okay.
1476
00:56:39,670 --> 00:56:41,436
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
1477
00:56:41,438 --> 00:56:44,775
[GRUNTING]
1478
00:56:46,143 --> 00:56:47,308
Hey.
1479
00:56:47,310 --> 00:56:49,143
Hey! Hi!
1480
00:56:49,145 --> 00:56:53,280
Uh, does Isaac have
Sarah's phone by any chance?
1481
00:56:53,282 --> 00:56:55,983
Yeah, he has it.
1482
00:56:55,985 --> 00:56:57,284
- He has it.
- Thank God.
1483
00:56:57,286 --> 00:56:58,320
So relax.
1484
00:56:58,322 --> 00:57:00,554
There is some very sensitive
information on there.
1485
00:57:00,556 --> 00:57:03,157
It's incredibly sensitive.
Wow, what's on the phone?
1486
00:57:03,159 --> 00:57:04,692
You don't need to know.
1487
00:57:04,694 --> 00:57:07,362
How's the party? Is it as
dumb as you thought it'd be?
1488
00:57:07,364 --> 00:57:10,098
Actually, it's kind of
amazing. It's really fun,
1489
00:57:10,100 --> 00:57:13,000
and you should get here. Quickly.
1490
00:57:13,002 --> 00:57:14,302
What? Huh?
1491
00:57:14,304 --> 00:57:15,170
Really?
1492
00:57:15,172 --> 00:57:18,172
You want me to come there? To see you?
1493
00:57:18,174 --> 00:57:20,507
That's what I'm saying. Come on!
1494
00:57:20,509 --> 00:57:22,143
Do you like him again?
1495
00:57:22,145 --> 00:57:23,578
Can we not have that conversation
1496
00:57:23,580 --> 00:57:25,012
- right now?
- I'm just saying.
1497
00:57:25,014 --> 00:57:26,181
Okay.
1498
00:57:26,183 --> 00:57:28,352
Okay. We'll see you soon.
1499
00:57:31,420 --> 00:57:34,188
ALL: Give us this
day our daily bread
1500
00:57:34,190 --> 00:57:36,523
And forgive us our trespasses
1501
00:57:36,525 --> 00:57:38,360
[SPEAKS IN HEBREW]
1502
00:57:38,362 --> 00:57:39,994
Shh, shh, shh.
1503
00:57:39,996 --> 00:57:41,996
- I'm praying.
- I think that's a Jewish thing.
1504
00:57:41,998 --> 00:57:43,565
- I can't do that here?
- No.
1505
00:57:43,567 --> 00:57:45,467
- It's the same God.
- Mm-mm.
1506
00:57:45,469 --> 00:57:47,201
ISAAC: I did it.
1507
00:57:47,203 --> 00:57:48,536
What's everyone doing?
1508
00:57:48,538 --> 00:57:50,270
Sit. Sit.
1509
00:57:50,272 --> 00:57:52,340
Sit down.
1510
00:57:52,342 --> 00:57:53,741
[CLEARS THROAT]
1511
00:57:53,743 --> 00:57:56,143
- This is so cool.
- Shh, whisper.
1512
00:57:56,145 --> 00:57:58,480
- Are we supposed to participate?
- No.
1513
00:57:58,482 --> 00:57:59,713
Hallelu!
1514
00:57:59,715 --> 00:58:01,315
No. Not that kind of church.
1515
00:58:01,317 --> 00:58:02,284
No?
1516
00:58:02,286 --> 00:58:04,753
You're my rock, right? Can you be my rock?
1517
00:58:04,755 --> 00:58:06,755
Because you're acting like a weird pebble.
1518
00:58:06,757 --> 00:58:08,355
Okay. I think I'm good.
1519
00:58:08,357 --> 00:58:10,558
Be a rock.
1520
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:12,428
[♪♪♪]
1521
00:58:20,337 --> 00:58:22,369
Fuck you.
1522
00:58:22,371 --> 00:58:24,505
What's up with this fucking kid over here?
1523
00:58:24,507 --> 00:58:25,639
What?
1524
00:58:25,641 --> 00:58:27,410
What's this kid doing?
1525
00:58:28,545 --> 00:58:30,311
Look over there.
1526
00:58:30,313 --> 00:58:33,480
- Look away, dude. Look away!
- [HISSING]
1527
00:58:33,482 --> 00:58:35,183
Stop.
1528
00:58:35,185 --> 00:58:37,819
- Please don't hiss at a kid.
- He's fucking with me.
1529
00:58:37,821 --> 00:58:39,654
I don't think he's talking to you at all.
1530
00:58:39,656 --> 00:58:41,088
[GASPS]
1531
00:58:41,090 --> 00:58:42,389
ISAAC: Who's that guy?
1532
00:58:42,391 --> 00:58:43,391
What guy?
1533
00:58:43,393 --> 00:58:44,726
- The guy on the cross.
- Jesus!
1534
00:58:44,728 --> 00:58:46,094
- Oh, Jesus.
- Stop it.
1535
00:58:46,096 --> 00:58:47,395
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1536
00:58:47,397 --> 00:58:49,329
- Is that what they think we did to him?
- Yeah.
1537
00:58:49,331 --> 00:58:50,697
- Can you tell I'm Jewish?
- Yes.
1538
00:58:50,699 --> 00:58:52,067
- How?
- Your fucking sweater.
1539
00:58:52,069 --> 00:58:53,268
[GASPS]
1540
00:58:53,270 --> 00:58:55,203
- I'm sorry.
- Isaac, stop talking.
1541
00:58:55,205 --> 00:58:57,639
♪ O Holy Night ♪
1542
00:58:57,641 --> 00:58:58,840
[RETCHING]
1543
00:58:58,842 --> 00:59:00,375
Isaac. Isaac, what are you doing?
1544
00:59:00,377 --> 00:59:03,344
Don't throw up. Don't you throw up here.
1545
00:59:03,346 --> 00:59:05,145
Swallow it like a girl would.
1546
00:59:05,147 --> 00:59:06,547
- Swallow it.
- [GULPS]
1547
00:59:06,549 --> 00:59:09,083
Did you do it? Let me see your mouth.
1548
00:59:09,085 --> 00:59:10,784
- Ahh...
- Don't throw up on me.
1549
00:59:10,786 --> 00:59:12,186
Where's the barf bag?
1550
00:59:12,188 --> 00:59:13,353
There's no barf bags!
1551
00:59:13,355 --> 00:59:15,825
Stop it! No, stop it, Isaac!
1552
00:59:19,128 --> 00:59:20,829
[ALL GROAN]
1553
00:59:20,831 --> 00:59:23,163
ISAAC: Jesus fucking Christ!
1554
00:59:23,165 --> 00:59:24,866
[ISAAC RETCHES]
1555
00:59:24,868 --> 00:59:27,835
- He just threw up.
- Yeah.
1556
00:59:27,837 --> 00:59:30,506
ISAAC: Oh, Jesus, fuck me. Oh...
1557
00:59:31,741 --> 00:59:35,479
- Is it still happening?
- It's still happening a little.
1558
00:59:37,313 --> 00:59:39,279
[GROANS]
1559
00:59:39,281 --> 00:59:41,683
We did not kill Jesus!
1560
00:59:41,685 --> 00:59:43,921
We did not do that!
1561
00:59:45,121 --> 00:59:47,154
[♪♪♪]
1562
00:59:47,156 --> 00:59:49,559
[PANTING]
1563
00:59:54,464 --> 00:59:56,432
Give me my weed, you Grinch!
1564
00:59:59,768 --> 01:00:01,637
Shit!
1565
01:00:03,806 --> 01:00:06,409
[GRUNTING]
1566
01:00:07,743 --> 01:00:09,512
Come on!
1567
01:00:20,790 --> 01:00:22,559
[RAT SQUEALING]
1568
01:00:23,627 --> 01:00:25,695
[SCREAMING]
1569
01:00:26,862 --> 01:00:28,664
Fuck!
1570
01:00:31,668 --> 01:00:32,833
What the fuck are you doing?
1571
01:00:32,835 --> 01:00:34,501
No, what are you doing, man?
1572
01:00:34,503 --> 01:00:36,938
You have friends who want to
spend the holidays with you.
1573
01:00:36,940 --> 01:00:38,540
You're lucky you have that.
1574
01:00:38,542 --> 01:00:40,875
You need to appreciate
that before you lose them.
1575
01:00:40,877 --> 01:00:44,811
That's your Christmas lesson.
That's why I'm taking this shit.
1576
01:00:44,813 --> 01:00:47,815
My boy Hans Gruber died like this.
1577
01:00:47,817 --> 01:00:49,384
[♪♪♪]
1578
01:00:49,386 --> 01:00:50,821
No!
1579
01:01:11,808 --> 01:01:13,876
What the hell?
1580
01:01:15,744 --> 01:01:17,277
- Help!
- CHRIS: Isaac.
1581
01:01:17,279 --> 01:01:18,545
- What you doing, man?
- Thank God!
1582
01:01:18,547 --> 01:01:20,280
Dude, we've got to get to this party,
1583
01:01:20,282 --> 01:01:21,583
or I'm gonna get fucking divorced.
1584
01:01:21,585 --> 01:01:23,250
Help me. How does this thing work?
1585
01:01:23,252 --> 01:01:24,918
You got to use your MetroCard. Go this way.
1586
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:26,688
- Do it, do it, do it.
- CHRIS: Wait.
1587
01:01:26,690 --> 01:01:28,288
All right. Go.
1588
01:01:28,290 --> 01:01:29,456
[ISAAC GROANS]
1589
01:01:29,458 --> 01:01:30,791
Did you get the weed back?
1590
01:01:30,793 --> 01:01:32,559
Shit got weird. I don't
wanna talk about it.
1591
01:01:32,561 --> 01:01:34,362
Did you get your phone back?
1592
01:01:34,364 --> 01:01:36,496
No. Not at all. That's
a long story. Look. Hey!
1593
01:01:36,498 --> 01:01:38,366
Oh, shit! What the fuck happened to you?
1594
01:01:38,368 --> 01:01:40,300
I got beat up by a couple of Santa Clauses.
1595
01:01:40,302 --> 01:01:42,237
You got beat up?
1596
01:01:42,239 --> 01:01:45,572
- Fuck. When?
- When? You know,
1597
01:01:45,574 --> 01:01:48,308
a little bit after you
guys ran off without me.
1598
01:01:48,310 --> 01:01:49,444
But why did they beat you up?
1599
01:01:49,446 --> 01:01:50,777
I don't know why they beat me up!
1600
01:01:50,779 --> 01:01:52,679
Did they mug you? Did
they take the tickets?
1601
01:01:52,681 --> 01:01:54,549
No, they didn't take the fucking tickets!
1602
01:01:54,551 --> 01:01:56,516
- Then why would they do it?
- I don't know.
1603
01:01:56,518 --> 01:01:58,786
You don't know? Did they say anything?
1604
01:01:58,788 --> 01:02:00,855
They're just a couple of drunk assholes!
1605
01:02:00,857 --> 01:02:03,958
Look, it wouldn't have happened
if you guys didn't bail on me.
1606
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:05,759
CHRIS: What the fuck is that?
1607
01:02:05,761 --> 01:02:08,395
ISAAC: Don't do this now.
Please don't do this now!
1608
01:02:08,397 --> 01:02:10,398
So what's up with you,
man? Why are you mad at us?
1609
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:12,666
Why you blame everything bad
that happens to you on us?
1610
01:02:12,668 --> 01:02:14,869
I'm just saying this is the
last chance we get to do this,
1611
01:02:14,871 --> 01:02:16,737
and you guys are so
wrapped up in your own shit
1612
01:02:16,739 --> 01:02:18,840
- you don't care about Christmas.
- What does that even mean?
1613
01:02:18,842 --> 01:02:21,342
When was the last time you
checked your phone, Chris?
1614
01:02:21,344 --> 01:02:22,876
Are you sure one of your famous friends
1615
01:02:22,878 --> 01:02:25,480
isn't trying to get ahold of
you, to fetch him something?
1616
01:02:25,482 --> 01:02:27,014
You used to hate guys like that.
1617
01:02:27,016 --> 01:02:28,516
I get it. I get some success.
1618
01:02:28,518 --> 01:02:30,617
I get some new friends and you're jealous.
1619
01:02:30,619 --> 01:02:32,686
Look at you. So you're a success?
1620
01:02:32,688 --> 01:02:34,822
You want to talk about
your newfound success?
1621
01:02:34,824 --> 01:02:36,357
I don't need to.
1622
01:02:36,359 --> 01:02:37,891
You don't think we see through that shit?
1623
01:02:37,893 --> 01:02:40,295
See through what? Let's
talk. What do you see, Isaac?
1624
01:02:40,297 --> 01:02:41,496
I don't see through anything.
1625
01:02:41,498 --> 01:02:43,331
You're 34 years old.
1626
01:02:43,333 --> 01:02:45,400
Most professional
athletes retire right now,
1627
01:02:45,402 --> 01:02:47,601
but you just got good. How is that?
1628
01:02:47,603 --> 01:02:48,603
Practice.
1629
01:02:48,605 --> 01:02:50,704
I told you. It was a
new diet. A new regimen.
1630
01:02:50,706 --> 01:02:53,474
A new regimen? That's what you call it?
1631
01:02:53,476 --> 01:02:55,409
Yeah, that's what I call
it. What you call it?
1632
01:02:55,411 --> 01:02:57,411
I think I call it putting
a needle in your ass.
1633
01:02:57,413 --> 01:03:00,081
- That's what I call it.
- Okay. Fine.
1634
01:03:00,083 --> 01:03:02,382
I'm on steroids, now what?
1635
01:03:02,384 --> 01:03:04,918
Newsflash: Everybody's on steroids!
1636
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:06,387
You're a cheater.
1637
01:03:06,389 --> 01:03:07,922
At least I'm doing something with my life.
1638
01:03:07,924 --> 01:03:10,824
What about you? Sitting around
wasting your fucking life away.
1639
01:03:10,826 --> 01:03:12,592
No girlfriend, no money.
1640
01:03:12,594 --> 01:03:16,730
Dude, you make music that
people have never heard.
1641
01:03:16,732 --> 01:03:18,465
It's the saddest shit I've ever seen!
1642
01:03:18,467 --> 01:03:20,367
Are you fucking serious?
1643
01:03:20,369 --> 01:03:21,735
You need to get your
life together. Tell him.
1644
01:03:21,737 --> 01:03:24,471
You shut up! You're ruining my trip!
1645
01:03:24,473 --> 01:03:26,007
It's really fucked up.
1646
01:03:26,009 --> 01:03:29,110
Fuck this! Going to the
best party of my life,
1647
01:03:29,112 --> 01:03:30,578
and I'm not wearing some
1648
01:03:30,580 --> 01:03:33,815
pseudo-racist, fake-ass
acrylic sweater!
1649
01:03:33,817 --> 01:03:36,516
- Don't take off that sweater!
- I'm taking the sweater off!
1650
01:03:36,518 --> 01:03:38,686
- Don't take off the sweater.
- Put the sweater back on!
1651
01:03:38,688 --> 01:03:41,822
I'm taking the fucking sweater off!
1652
01:03:41,824 --> 01:03:44,025
Stupid.
1653
01:03:44,027 --> 01:03:45,796
[♪♪♪]
1654
01:04:14,089 --> 01:04:15,889
May I help you?
1655
01:04:15,891 --> 01:04:17,425
Uh...
1656
01:04:17,427 --> 01:04:21,231
I have, uh, these tickets.
1657
01:04:33,009 --> 01:04:34,778
Come with me.
1658
01:04:41,884 --> 01:04:43,653
Come on.
1659
01:04:46,790 --> 01:04:48,191
Get in there.
1660
01:04:55,831 --> 01:04:57,931
[DOOR CLOSES]
1661
01:04:57,933 --> 01:05:00,000
[BUZZING]
1662
01:05:00,002 --> 01:05:02,238
[♪♪♪]
1663
01:05:17,587 --> 01:05:21,691
May I take your coats, gentlemen?
1664
01:05:41,543 --> 01:05:44,078
All aboard!
1665
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:45,881
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
1666
01:06:11,273 --> 01:06:13,776
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
1667
01:06:24,987 --> 01:06:27,688
I'm going to find Owens.
1668
01:06:27,690 --> 01:06:29,993
Gonna find my phone.
1669
01:06:31,159 --> 01:06:33,229
I'm gonna go find Diana.
1670
01:06:37,734 --> 01:06:40,967
Oh, shit, Messiah, White
Jesus in the building.
1671
01:06:40,969 --> 01:06:42,136
C-Money in the hizzle.
1672
01:06:42,138 --> 01:06:43,270
- Yo, man.
- I see you made it.
1673
01:06:43,272 --> 01:06:44,771
I wasn't able to get the weed, man.
1674
01:06:44,773 --> 01:06:46,139
Shit fell apart. Know what I mean?
1675
01:06:46,141 --> 01:06:48,241
I forgot I even asked
you. You want some weed?
1676
01:06:48,243 --> 01:06:49,911
Have some weed.
1677
01:06:49,913 --> 01:06:51,913
But... All right.
1678
01:06:51,915 --> 01:06:54,282
You got a whole fucking dump truck of weed?
1679
01:06:54,284 --> 01:06:56,250
Dro fo' sho'.
1680
01:06:56,252 --> 01:06:58,753
- So this it, huh?
- Oh, this is it, baby.
1681
01:06:58,755 --> 01:07:00,987
The Nutcracker Ball!
1682
01:07:00,989 --> 01:07:03,558
ALL: Yeah!
1683
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:06,059
Having an emergency! Aah!
1684
01:07:06,061 --> 01:07:07,994
- Oh, my God.
- Sarah!
1685
01:07:07,996 --> 01:07:09,297
Sarah!
1686
01:07:09,299 --> 01:07:10,931
SARAH: Are you fucking kidding me?
1687
01:07:10,933 --> 01:07:12,900
Get off of me! What the fuck, dude?
1688
01:07:12,902 --> 01:07:15,036
- I'm sorry! I'm just happy!
- You're so fucking sweaty.
1689
01:07:15,038 --> 01:07:16,904
I know. It's warm and I'm on Molly.
1690
01:07:16,906 --> 01:07:18,905
- God! Is that my phone?
- It is. You have my phone?
1691
01:07:18,907 --> 01:07:20,942
- Take your shit phone back.
- It's the same phone.
1692
01:07:20,944 --> 01:07:22,576
That's why we got them mixed up.
1693
01:07:22,578 --> 01:07:23,777
- This has some serious shit on it.
- I know.
1694
01:07:23,779 --> 01:07:25,112
Wait. You didn't look at it, did you?
1695
01:07:25,114 --> 01:07:26,980
You didn't look at any shit on my phone?
1696
01:07:26,982 --> 01:07:27,849
- No.
- Good.
1697
01:07:27,851 --> 01:07:29,717
You didn't look at my phone, did you?
1698
01:07:29,719 --> 01:07:32,085
I just wanna tell you...
1699
01:07:32,087 --> 01:07:33,320
good job.
1700
01:07:33,322 --> 01:07:34,956
You did fucking look at my phone.
1701
01:07:34,958 --> 01:07:37,123
I didn't want to. The
texts just were coming in.
1702
01:07:37,125 --> 01:07:38,692
What is the matter with you?
1703
01:07:38,694 --> 01:07:40,728
All these gorgeous dick
pics. A-plus dick pics.
1704
01:07:40,730 --> 01:07:42,228
- That's a boss hog.
- Wait a second, really?
1705
01:07:42,230 --> 01:07:44,331
That dick soft is like
two of my dicks hard.
1706
01:07:44,333 --> 01:07:46,634
Do you think, like, it would be...
1707
01:07:46,636 --> 01:07:48,835
Do you think I could, like, handle it?
1708
01:07:48,837 --> 01:07:51,005
There was a moment I thought
he wanted me to handle it,
1709
01:07:51,007 --> 01:07:52,806
and I had to wrap my head
around it for a second,
1710
01:07:52,808 --> 01:07:54,141
and I thought to myself, "You know what?
1711
01:07:54,143 --> 01:07:55,809
You hunker down, you
could take that bad boy."
1712
01:07:55,811 --> 01:07:56,978
- Really?
- Yeah.
1713
01:07:56,980 --> 01:07:58,346
That guy James, whoever James is,
1714
01:07:58,348 --> 01:08:00,146
he's got a fantastic cock on him.
1715
01:08:00,148 --> 01:08:01,782
Yo! Did somebody say "cock"?
1716
01:08:01,784 --> 01:08:03,217
[LAUGHS] What's up?
1717
01:08:03,219 --> 01:08:04,719
- Hey.
- What are you guys talking about?
1718
01:08:04,721 --> 01:08:06,020
- Nothing.
- Hey, what's up? I'm James.
1719
01:08:06,022 --> 01:08:08,088
- I'm Isaac.
- You don't need to meet him.
1720
01:08:08,090 --> 01:08:09,623
That's your dick!
1721
01:08:09,625 --> 01:08:11,391
- Oh, shit!
- I'm the guy who had the phone!
1722
01:08:11,393 --> 01:08:13,360
- You saw my dick?
- Did I ever! Oh, my God!
1723
01:08:13,362 --> 01:08:15,029
He almost sucked my dick.
1724
01:08:15,031 --> 01:08:16,831
I would have if I'd
known it was you, maybe.
1725
01:08:16,833 --> 01:08:18,165
Shit! You guys a couple?
1726
01:08:18,167 --> 01:08:19,766
- No. We're friends.
- Am I the third wheel?
1727
01:08:19,768 --> 01:08:21,101
SARAH: No. You're the first wheel.
1728
01:08:21,103 --> 01:08:23,104
- Am I the third wheel?
- Not at all.
1729
01:08:23,106 --> 01:08:25,372
I was with two other guys
all night and now I'm fight...
1730
01:08:25,374 --> 01:08:26,974
Oh, really? Two other guys?
1731
01:08:26,976 --> 01:08:29,010
I'd love to hang out with two other people.
1732
01:08:29,012 --> 01:08:30,243
Is that a challenge?
1733
01:08:30,245 --> 01:08:31,845
It might be! Yeah.
1734
01:08:31,847 --> 01:08:33,113
I don't know who I'm gonna start with,
1735
01:08:33,115 --> 01:08:34,748
but I know who I'm gonna end with.
1736
01:08:34,750 --> 01:08:36,216
Well, let's get started right now!
1737
01:08:36,218 --> 01:08:38,752
- You guys wanna dance?
- I would love to dance.
1738
01:08:38,754 --> 01:08:40,654
- I would love to dance.
- You wanna dance?
1739
01:08:40,656 --> 01:08:42,055
Let's do it! Come on, Isaac!
1740
01:08:42,057 --> 01:08:44,324
Oh, my God. This is so
nice! This is the best!
1741
01:08:44,326 --> 01:08:46,693
What a turn of events! What?
1742
01:08:46,695 --> 01:08:49,098
[♪♪♪]
1743
01:08:59,142 --> 01:09:02,012
Holy fucking shit!
1744
01:09:10,352 --> 01:09:11,885
You're Miley Cyrus.
1745
01:09:11,887 --> 01:09:14,255
- Yeah.
- No, you don't understand.
1746
01:09:14,257 --> 01:09:17,891
I was just looking for this girl
that I love, and she loves you.
1747
01:09:17,893 --> 01:09:19,760
God, no. I did that with two fans one time.
1748
01:09:19,762 --> 01:09:21,761
- It got super awkward.
- That's not what I meant.
1749
01:09:21,763 --> 01:09:23,163
Sorry, you don't understand.
1750
01:09:23,165 --> 01:09:25,131
That'd be awesome...
But, no, I just mean...
1751
01:09:25,133 --> 01:09:27,333
This has gotta be some
kind of Christmas miracle,
1752
01:09:27,335 --> 01:09:29,403
because she talks about you
1753
01:09:29,405 --> 01:09:31,305
and your song a lot.
1754
01:09:31,307 --> 01:09:33,908
And I love this girl. I'm
starting to realize, tonight,
1755
01:09:33,910 --> 01:09:35,475
she's the love of my life.
1756
01:09:35,477 --> 01:09:38,845
And I wanted tonight to be a
special night for me and her.
1757
01:09:38,847 --> 01:09:42,049
- Now you're here and...
- You want to propose tonight?
1758
01:09:42,051 --> 01:09:43,917
Oh, my God! That is so romantic.
1759
01:09:43,919 --> 01:09:45,318
That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
1760
01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:46,487
I mean, I was just thinking
1761
01:09:46,489 --> 01:09:47,854
you could dedicate a song to her.
1762
01:09:47,856 --> 01:09:50,491
What? You gotta propose!
1763
01:09:50,493 --> 01:09:51,992
Come on! It's Christmas.
1764
01:09:51,994 --> 01:09:53,860
It's like, go big or go fucking home!
1765
01:09:53,862 --> 01:09:56,162
I mean, you love this girl.
You say you love her, right?
1766
01:09:56,164 --> 01:09:59,766
Yeah. But I don't know if
tonight's the right time for...
1767
01:09:59,768 --> 01:10:01,034
Oh, God. Are you one of those guys
1768
01:10:01,036 --> 01:10:02,435
that are always making up excuses?
1769
01:10:02,437 --> 01:10:03,970
I fucking hate those kind of guys.
1770
01:10:03,972 --> 01:10:05,840
No, Miley Cyrus, I'm not one of those guys.
1771
01:10:05,842 --> 01:10:07,241
All right, then don't be a pussy!
1772
01:10:07,243 --> 01:10:08,442
You got to propose to her!
1773
01:10:08,444 --> 01:10:09,943
There's all this magic in the air,
1774
01:10:09,945 --> 01:10:12,345
people want to fall in love.
1775
01:10:12,347 --> 01:10:14,948
Okay. Okay! Then I will!
1776
01:10:14,950 --> 01:10:16,817
This is a sign if I've ever seen a sign!
1777
01:10:16,819 --> 01:10:19,153
- It's gonna be fucking awesome.
- I'm gonna propose!
1778
01:10:19,155 --> 01:10:21,287
Yeah, you're gonna propose!
I'm gonna help you out.
1779
01:10:21,289 --> 01:10:23,924
We're gonna propose! Oh,
my God! We're gonna propose!
1780
01:10:23,926 --> 01:10:26,060
We're gonna propose! Okay!
1781
01:10:26,062 --> 01:10:27,795
Miley Cyrus, this is the nicest thing
1782
01:10:27,797 --> 01:10:28,996
that anyone's ever done for me!
1783
01:10:28,998 --> 01:10:30,898
You gotta stop calling me Miley Cyrus.
1784
01:10:30,900 --> 01:10:33,833
- What should I call you?
- Hannah.
1785
01:10:33,835 --> 01:10:35,869
Just kidding. I'm drunk.
Let's do this thing!
1786
01:10:35,871 --> 01:10:37,971
- What's up, man?
- Hey, Chris.
1787
01:10:37,973 --> 01:10:40,107
- Yeah, what up, boy?
- Hey, what's up, K?
1788
01:10:40,109 --> 01:10:42,777
Hey, Reverend Run, man.
It's your boy, Reverend Run.
1789
01:10:42,779 --> 01:10:44,211
What that supposed to mean?
1790
01:10:44,213 --> 01:10:47,213
Hey, Messiah. Check this shit out, dude.
1791
01:10:47,215 --> 01:10:50,083
- KAMAL: Oh, shit. Is that you?
- MAN: The fuck is that?
1792
01:10:50,085 --> 01:10:51,918
Nah, it was a
Make-A-Wish thing, man.
1793
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:53,319
Those two kids have Crohn's disease.
1794
01:10:53,321 --> 01:10:55,389
It was their wish to do karaoke with me.
1795
01:10:55,391 --> 01:10:58,292
Man, damn dog, you look
just as white as they do.
1796
01:10:58,294 --> 01:11:00,894
- Yeah, which one are you?
- KAMAL: Look at that sweater!
1797
01:11:00,896 --> 01:11:03,863
[ALL LAUGHING]
1798
01:11:03,865 --> 01:11:07,134
I got you! I got you! I got you!
1799
01:11:07,136 --> 01:11:08,402
Oh, man!
1800
01:11:08,404 --> 01:11:10,003
- Yeah!
- ISAAC: Yeah.
1801
01:11:10,005 --> 01:11:12,006
- You're a great dancer, man.
- Oh, thanks, dude.
1802
01:11:12,008 --> 01:11:14,542
Appreciate it. I'm pretty
high on Molly right now.
1803
01:11:14,544 --> 01:11:16,943
I'm high too. I'm high too.
1804
01:11:16,945 --> 01:11:19,145
- I am digging this beard.
- ISAAC: Thanks, man.
1805
01:11:19,147 --> 01:11:22,283
- Yo, carpet match the drapes?
- Yeah, I got a big bush.
1806
01:11:22,285 --> 01:11:25,552
- [LAUGHS]
- My carpet matches my drapes.
1807
01:11:25,554 --> 01:11:28,354
Look at this guy! He's furry all over!
1808
01:11:28,356 --> 01:11:29,957
Whoo! Nice!
1809
01:11:29,959 --> 01:11:31,292
You need to get the fuck out of here.
1810
01:11:31,294 --> 01:11:32,893
You're being a huge cockblock.
1811
01:11:32,895 --> 01:11:34,295
- I'm not being a cockblock.
- Yes, you are!
1812
01:11:34,297 --> 01:11:36,063
What the fuck are you talking about?
1813
01:11:36,065 --> 01:11:37,497
I don't think I could
block this guy's cock.
1814
01:11:37,499 --> 01:11:40,466
It'd take 10 men to block that thing.
1815
01:11:40,468 --> 01:11:42,002
[ALL CHEERING]
1816
01:11:42,004 --> 01:11:43,604
CYRUS: Merry Christmas, New York City!
1817
01:11:43,606 --> 01:11:45,271
Oh, no. Miley's here?
1818
01:11:45,273 --> 01:11:47,207
Miley Cyrus?
1819
01:11:47,209 --> 01:11:51,444
♪ We clawed, we chained
Our hearts in vain ♪
1820
01:11:51,446 --> 01:11:53,113
♪ We jumped ♪
1821
01:11:53,115 --> 01:11:55,149
♪ Never asking why ♪
1822
01:11:55,151 --> 01:11:57,251
- This is great!
- This is so cool.
1823
01:11:57,253 --> 01:11:59,619
Where's Diana? This is, like, our song.
1824
01:11:59,621 --> 01:12:03,224
♪ A love no one could deny ♪
1825
01:12:03,226 --> 01:12:05,192
All right, everybody,
give it up to my friend.
1826
01:12:05,194 --> 01:12:06,894
What the fuck is your name again?
1827
01:12:06,896 --> 01:12:08,628
- Ethan.
- Ethan!
1828
01:12:08,630 --> 01:12:10,433
[ALL CHEERING]
1829
01:12:12,468 --> 01:12:16,871
♪ Don't you ever say
I just walked away ♪
1830
01:12:16,873 --> 01:12:21,074
♪ I will always want you ♪
1831
01:12:21,076 --> 01:12:23,143
♪ I forgot these words ♪
1832
01:12:23,145 --> 01:12:25,246
♪ Doesn't matter though ♪
1833
01:12:25,248 --> 01:12:30,184
♪ I will always want you ♪
1834
01:12:30,186 --> 01:12:34,921
[IN UNISON] ♪ I came in
Like a wrecking ball ♪
1835
01:12:34,923 --> 01:12:38,292
♪ I never hit so hard In love ♪
1836
01:12:38,294 --> 01:12:42,363
♪ All I wanted Was
to break your walls ♪
1837
01:12:42,365 --> 01:12:47,501
♪ All you ever did Was wreck me ♪
1838
01:12:47,503 --> 01:12:49,036
♪ Yeah, you ♪
1839
01:12:49,038 --> 01:12:51,104
♪ You wreck me ♪
1840
01:12:51,106 --> 01:12:53,142
Yeah!
1841
01:12:54,209 --> 01:12:55,611
Diana...
1842
01:12:57,512 --> 01:12:58,979
Dude, can you move?
1843
01:12:58,981 --> 01:13:02,582
In the red. Move. Yeah, thanks.
1844
01:13:02,584 --> 01:13:04,484
Diana, listen,
1845
01:13:04,486 --> 01:13:07,988
I know we're not really
even going out anymore,
1846
01:13:07,990 --> 01:13:10,189
and that's because I wouldn't commit.
1847
01:13:10,191 --> 01:13:12,559
- This is crazy.
- But I'm ready to commit. Hard.
1848
01:13:12,561 --> 01:13:15,561
♪ I'm ready to commit ♪
1849
01:13:15,563 --> 01:13:17,534
Hard like a wrecking ball.
1850
01:13:18,700 --> 01:13:21,435
You're the best thing that's
ever happened to me, girl.
1851
01:13:21,437 --> 01:13:23,037
You make me laugh.
1852
01:13:23,039 --> 01:13:25,171
You're cool as hell.
You don't take any shit.
1853
01:13:25,173 --> 01:13:26,506
♪ None of his shit ♪
1854
01:13:26,508 --> 01:13:28,007
You're smarter than I am.
1855
01:13:28,009 --> 01:13:30,277
- Probably better than I deserve.
- This is so romantic.
1856
01:13:30,279 --> 01:13:32,345
ETHAN: But go big or go home. Right, Miley?
1857
01:13:32,347 --> 01:13:33,546
No, E.
1858
01:13:33,548 --> 01:13:37,283
♪ Go big or go home ♪
1859
01:13:37,285 --> 01:13:40,621
When I let you go, that
was just me fucking up,
1860
01:13:40,623 --> 01:13:43,256
but I don't wanna ever let you
go again. Not now, not ever.
1861
01:13:43,258 --> 01:13:45,591
And definitely not on fucking Christmas!
1862
01:13:45,593 --> 01:13:48,162
♪ On fucking Christmas ♪
1863
01:13:48,164 --> 01:13:49,997
So this is it, Diana.
1864
01:13:49,999 --> 01:13:53,466
- Only live once, bro!
- Stop encouraging him, James.
1865
01:13:53,468 --> 01:13:54,667
Will you marry me?
1866
01:13:54,669 --> 01:13:57,003
AUDIENCE: Aww...
1867
01:13:57,005 --> 01:13:59,707
Say yes. Yes.
1868
01:13:59,709 --> 01:14:01,477
[♪♪♪]
1869
01:14:04,413 --> 01:14:06,980
- Yes.
- Yeah!
1870
01:14:06,982 --> 01:14:08,448
- Fuck!
- Yes!
1871
01:14:08,450 --> 01:14:13,252
♪ I came in Like a wrecking ball ♪
1872
01:14:13,254 --> 01:14:17,190
♪ I never hit so hard in love ♪
1873
01:14:17,192 --> 01:14:21,194
♪ All I wanted Was
to break your walls ♪
1874
01:14:21,196 --> 01:14:25,532
♪ All you ever did Was wreck me ♪
1875
01:14:25,534 --> 01:14:27,368
♪ I came in Like a wrecking ball ♪
1876
01:14:27,370 --> 01:14:30,203
Okay, I gotta go find my
friend real fast. Excuse me.
1877
01:14:30,205 --> 01:14:33,540
♪ Yeah, I just closed
my eyes And swung ♪
1878
01:14:33,542 --> 01:14:35,408
♪ Left me crashing in A blazing fall ♪
1879
01:14:35,410 --> 01:14:37,211
I'm gonna be right back.
1880
01:14:37,213 --> 01:14:38,746
Y'all stay black.
1881
01:14:38,748 --> 01:14:40,279
- Hey.
- Yeah?
1882
01:14:40,281 --> 01:14:42,349
All this romance is getting me really hot.
1883
01:14:42,351 --> 01:14:44,051
You wanna go back to the hotel room?
1884
01:14:44,053 --> 01:14:46,252
Hey, I feel like you might be gay.
1885
01:14:46,254 --> 01:14:48,588
- Not right now, I'm not.
- Okay.
1886
01:14:48,590 --> 01:14:50,024
- All right.
- Okay.
1887
01:14:50,026 --> 01:14:51,524
Oh, my fucking God! Oh, my God!
1888
01:14:51,526 --> 01:14:53,793
Oh, my God! This is the
greatest night of our lives!
1889
01:14:53,795 --> 01:14:56,095
- That was crazy.
- That's so crazy, right?
1890
01:14:56,097 --> 01:14:57,398
Listen, I'm sorry about the ring.
1891
01:14:57,400 --> 01:14:59,099
I'll get you a ring, I promise.
1892
01:14:59,101 --> 01:15:00,400
We can do that tomorrow.
1893
01:15:00,402 --> 01:15:02,502
No, Ethan, I'm not going to marry you.
1894
01:15:02,504 --> 01:15:03,703
What do you mean?
1895
01:15:03,705 --> 01:15:06,239
We're not even together.
1896
01:15:06,241 --> 01:15:08,375
I haven't even spoken to
you in, like, three months!
1897
01:15:08,377 --> 01:15:10,144
I addressed that in the speech.
1898
01:15:10,146 --> 01:15:12,246
I know, and then you show
up here and you propose to me
1899
01:15:12,248 --> 01:15:14,047
in front of hundreds of people.
1900
01:15:14,049 --> 01:15:16,250
- That's crazy.
- Wait, I'm sorry.
1901
01:15:16,252 --> 01:15:18,652
We're not getting married? This is a no?
1902
01:15:18,654 --> 01:15:21,055
No! It's a no! No!
1903
01:15:21,057 --> 01:15:24,824
I'm so sorry that you're clearly
going through a lot right now.
1904
01:15:24,826 --> 01:15:26,460
I'm sorry that your friends
1905
01:15:26,462 --> 01:15:28,362
don't wanna hang out with you on Christmas.
1906
01:15:28,364 --> 01:15:30,130
I understand that that's hard for you.
1907
01:15:30,132 --> 01:15:31,799
That is not a reason
for you to grab onto me
1908
01:15:31,801 --> 01:15:34,534
like I'm your lifeline!
1909
01:15:34,536 --> 01:15:36,302
Why'd you say yes?
1910
01:15:36,304 --> 01:15:38,538
I said yes because
everybody was looking at me.
1911
01:15:38,540 --> 01:15:41,574
I said yes because Miley
clearly wanted me to say yes!
1912
01:15:41,576 --> 01:15:44,580
And I didn't want Miley
to think that I hated love!
1913
01:15:45,748 --> 01:15:47,280
That's understandable.
1914
01:15:47,282 --> 01:15:49,817
I wouldn't want that either.
1915
01:15:49,819 --> 01:15:51,920
Okay, look, I...
1916
01:15:53,155 --> 01:15:54,387
I was really just trying to do
1917
01:15:54,389 --> 01:15:55,823
what I thought you wanted me to do,
1918
01:15:55,825 --> 01:15:57,591
and that's because I love you.
1919
01:15:57,593 --> 01:15:59,659
It's been three months, I haven't stopped.
1920
01:15:59,661 --> 01:16:01,194
I'm not gonna stop.
1921
01:16:01,196 --> 01:16:03,863
I'm not your answer...
1922
01:16:03,865 --> 01:16:06,867
right now, Ethan.
1923
01:16:06,869 --> 01:16:09,572
Wait, wait. No, no. Can we talk?
1924
01:16:11,206 --> 01:16:13,608
[♪♪♪]
1925
01:16:16,512 --> 01:16:19,113
Oh, my God! Hi!
1926
01:16:19,115 --> 01:16:20,546
- You're Tommy Owens!
- Yeah, thank you.
1927
01:16:20,548 --> 01:16:22,850
You're the Messiah! You
really are the Messiah!
1928
01:16:22,852 --> 01:16:24,451
You saved my fantasy team last year!
1929
01:16:24,453 --> 01:16:26,119
- I'm a huge fan.
- That's good to know.
1930
01:16:26,121 --> 01:16:27,354
You have a good night.
1931
01:16:27,356 --> 01:16:29,189
- You're big in real life.
- Pleasure, man.
1932
01:16:29,191 --> 01:16:30,424
Look, can you help me out?
1933
01:16:30,426 --> 01:16:33,226
We have a friend in common. Chris.
1934
01:16:33,228 --> 01:16:35,665
- I'm looking for my buddy Ethan.
- Oh, shit.
1935
01:16:37,133 --> 01:16:39,366
- Hey!
- I'm sorry!
1936
01:16:39,368 --> 01:16:41,534
I'm sorry, I got it. I got it.
1937
01:16:41,536 --> 01:16:43,871
[GRUNTING]
1938
01:16:43,873 --> 01:16:45,404
ISAAC: Oh, no.
1939
01:16:45,406 --> 01:16:46,773
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Are you okay?
1940
01:16:46,775 --> 01:16:48,876
Hey, it's glass, man.
Why you picking it up?
1941
01:16:48,878 --> 01:16:50,344
I'm just trying to help out, man.
1942
01:16:50,346 --> 01:16:53,613
- Come on.
- Oh, shit!
1943
01:16:53,615 --> 01:16:54,747
[SCREAMS]
1944
01:16:54,749 --> 01:16:55,916
Holy shit!
1945
01:16:55,918 --> 01:16:58,585
I'm sorry!
1946
01:16:58,587 --> 01:17:00,621
The Jewish guy crucified the Messiah!
1947
01:17:00,623 --> 01:17:04,358
TOMMY: It was rabbi dancing motherfucker!
1948
01:17:04,360 --> 01:17:07,260
It's happening again! It's happening again!
1949
01:17:07,262 --> 01:17:08,694
[♪♪♪]
1950
01:17:08,696 --> 01:17:12,533
Ethan! Ethan! Diana!
1951
01:17:12,535 --> 01:17:13,568
Congratulations!
1952
01:17:13,570 --> 01:17:16,769
- No! Stop congratulating me!
- What? What happened?
1953
01:17:16,771 --> 01:17:18,838
Just go talk to Ethan.
1954
01:17:18,840 --> 01:17:20,774
Shit.
1955
01:17:20,776 --> 01:17:23,810
ISAAC: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I think he's gonna be fine.
1956
01:17:23,812 --> 01:17:25,345
Please, punch him in the face!
1957
01:17:25,347 --> 01:17:27,514
I thought the Messiah preached forgiveness!
1958
01:17:27,516 --> 01:17:29,582
Look at me, asshole. What
the fuck wrong with you?
1959
01:17:29,584 --> 01:17:32,786
- Who the fuck are you?
- Hey. He's my friend!
1960
01:17:32,788 --> 01:17:34,557
Back off, man!
1961
01:17:35,624 --> 01:17:37,724
Yo! Back the fuck up, all right?
1962
01:17:37,726 --> 01:17:39,458
Oh, shit just got real, huh?
1963
01:17:39,460 --> 01:17:41,862
Yeah, go ahead and punch him,
man. TMZ will love that shit.
1964
01:17:41,864 --> 01:17:44,497
I got the biggest motherfucking
phone on the planet.
1965
01:17:44,499 --> 01:17:47,333
And your ass will be
trending in 10 minutes.
1966
01:17:47,335 --> 01:17:50,203
Who in here follow Chrisrob11?
1967
01:17:50,205 --> 01:17:51,572
Put your fucking hands down!
1968
01:17:51,574 --> 01:17:53,940
- His social media game is crazy!
- Crazy!
1969
01:17:53,942 --> 01:17:55,908
Run.
1970
01:17:55,910 --> 01:17:59,579
Go, go. Get out. No! No!
1971
01:17:59,581 --> 01:18:00,747
Yeah!
1972
01:18:00,749 --> 01:18:03,850
- No, no!
- I'm a lawyer! I'm a lawyer!
1973
01:18:03,852 --> 01:18:06,456
[♪♪♪]
1974
01:18:17,566 --> 01:18:21,835
- Magical night, isn't it?
- Jesus. You scared me.
1975
01:18:21,837 --> 01:18:23,970
Mr. Green.
1976
01:18:23,972 --> 01:18:26,607
Man, you're everywhere tonight.
1977
01:18:26,609 --> 01:18:29,243
I end every Christmas at this party.
1978
01:18:29,245 --> 01:18:30,711
What do you mean? How do you get in?
1979
01:18:30,713 --> 01:18:32,011
It's my party.
1980
01:18:32,013 --> 01:18:33,713
What?
1981
01:18:33,715 --> 01:18:35,515
About 20 years ago,
1982
01:18:35,517 --> 01:18:38,585
I read The Great Gatsby.
1983
01:18:38,587 --> 01:18:40,319
I love that book.
1984
01:18:40,321 --> 01:18:42,756
Movie's all right. 3D gives me a headache,
1985
01:18:42,758 --> 01:18:45,027
but I'm a sucker for Leo.
1986
01:18:46,728 --> 01:18:48,427
So this guy,
1987
01:18:48,429 --> 01:18:51,598
he throws all these parties,
and nobody knows who he is.
1988
01:18:51,600 --> 01:18:54,734
I thought, "Wow, that's
pretty fucking cool."
1989
01:18:54,736 --> 01:18:57,770
My cousin Larry's got this
giant warehouse in Brooklyn,
1990
01:18:57,772 --> 01:19:01,808
figured I'm working on Christmas
anyway, so I should do it too.
1991
01:19:01,810 --> 01:19:04,043
We started out pretty small.
1992
01:19:04,045 --> 01:19:07,014
Just a punch bowl and some sleigh bells,
1993
01:19:07,016 --> 01:19:08,681
and it gets bigger and bigger every year.
1994
01:19:08,683 --> 01:19:11,717
This year we added that train.
1995
01:19:11,719 --> 01:19:13,753
- Through the trippy tunnel of lights.
- Yeah.
1996
01:19:13,755 --> 01:19:16,092
- Cool way to enter a party, right?
- Yeah.
1997
01:19:17,493 --> 01:19:19,292
What'd you think of Miley?
1998
01:19:19,294 --> 01:19:21,897
Yeah, she was great. She was great.
1999
01:19:23,432 --> 01:19:26,736
Ethan, you and I both
know, Miley was flawless.
2000
01:19:27,835 --> 01:19:30,836
Something's bugging you.
2001
01:19:30,838 --> 01:19:33,340
[♪♪♪]
2002
01:19:33,342 --> 01:19:36,810
Your friends, they ain't gonna leave you.
2003
01:19:36,812 --> 01:19:38,444
They need you, kid.
2004
01:19:38,446 --> 01:19:40,015
How do you know about that?
2005
01:19:41,049 --> 01:19:43,449
Smoke this.
2006
01:19:43,451 --> 01:19:46,519
Nah, I'm good, man. Weed
makes me paranoid now.
2007
01:19:46,521 --> 01:19:49,989
This is the staff of life.
2008
01:19:49,991 --> 01:19:51,725
Okay.
2009
01:19:51,727 --> 01:19:53,659
You're making me a little uncomfortable.
2010
01:19:53,661 --> 01:19:55,796
I've been told my quiet intensity
2011
01:19:55,798 --> 01:19:58,098
has that effect on people.
2012
01:19:58,100 --> 01:20:00,067
But sometimes,
2013
01:20:00,069 --> 01:20:03,572
being uncomfortable can be a good thing.
2014
01:20:17,085 --> 01:20:18,417
[SIGHS]
2015
01:20:18,419 --> 01:20:21,122
Fuck it. Thanks.
2016
01:20:24,125 --> 01:20:26,993
♪ Silent Night ♪
2017
01:20:26,995 --> 01:20:29,128
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
2018
01:20:29,130 --> 01:20:31,832
♪ Holy Night ♪
2019
01:20:31,834 --> 01:20:35,671
♪ All is calm ♪
2020
01:20:37,106 --> 01:20:38,572
- Hey.
- Hey, man.
2021
01:20:38,574 --> 01:20:40,774
- 'Sup, dude?
- What are you guys doing here?
2022
01:20:40,776 --> 01:20:44,043
We just thought maybe you'd wanna hang out.
2023
01:20:44,045 --> 01:20:45,845
Some company or something.
2024
01:20:45,847 --> 01:20:48,114
- Just say what's up.
- Yeah, just say what's up.
2025
01:20:48,116 --> 01:20:49,649
That's cool.
2026
01:20:49,651 --> 01:20:51,551
I'm packing all this shit up.
2027
01:20:51,553 --> 01:20:53,854
Old people have so much
stuff. You guys remember that.
2028
01:20:53,856 --> 01:20:56,122
You have to throw things away in life.
2029
01:20:56,124 --> 01:20:58,159
For sure.
2030
01:21:00,462 --> 01:21:02,863
- Play some Nintendo?
- Yeah, N64?
2031
01:21:02,865 --> 01:21:05,498
I think I'm just gonna chill here.
2032
01:21:05,500 --> 01:21:07,000
I appreciate you guys coming over,
2033
01:21:07,002 --> 01:21:08,835
but I think I'm just gonna...
2034
01:21:08,837 --> 01:21:11,837
No, man. Fuck that, dude. It's Christmas.
2035
01:21:11,839 --> 01:21:14,643
You can't be alone. Let's hang out.
2036
01:21:16,477 --> 01:21:19,445
Go to my mom's house.
Play some "GoldenEye."
2037
01:21:19,447 --> 01:21:21,782
Come on. Look, I got some whiskey.
2038
01:21:21,784 --> 01:21:23,449
I stole some hash from my brother.
2039
01:21:23,451 --> 01:21:24,618
Rolled it in this doobie.
2040
01:21:24,620 --> 01:21:26,922
We get pretty fucked up.
2041
01:21:29,490 --> 01:21:31,192
[SNIFFLING]
2042
01:21:33,695 --> 01:21:34,827
I'm sorry.
2043
01:21:34,829 --> 01:21:36,997
- No. It's cool.
- It's all good, man.
2044
01:21:36,999 --> 01:21:39,035
It's okay, man.
2045
01:21:45,507 --> 01:21:48,175
I just miss them.
2046
01:21:48,177 --> 01:21:49,708
We miss them too.
2047
01:21:49,710 --> 01:21:51,144
Yeah, man.
2048
01:21:51,146 --> 01:21:53,046
But you know what?
2049
01:21:53,048 --> 01:21:55,015
We're your new family now.
2050
01:21:55,017 --> 01:21:56,917
I'll be your daddy, Chris'll be your mommy.
2051
01:21:56,919 --> 01:21:59,188
No, I'm gonna be the daddy, you be the mom.
2052
01:22:00,222 --> 01:22:01,654
You guys are good friends.
2053
01:22:01,656 --> 01:22:03,489
We'll be here whenever you need us, man.
2054
01:22:03,491 --> 01:22:04,658
Always, man.
2055
01:22:04,660 --> 01:22:07,229
Yeah, always there for you, bro.
2056
01:22:09,764 --> 01:22:11,064
You can't smoke that in here.
2057
01:22:11,066 --> 01:22:12,799
You can't smoke that in here.
2058
01:22:12,801 --> 01:22:14,836
Figure we can now.
2059
01:22:15,971 --> 01:22:17,604
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
2060
01:22:17,606 --> 01:22:19,805
- Fuck, that's crazy.
- What we hiding this for?
2061
01:22:19,807 --> 01:22:21,107
Take a hit, dude.
2062
01:22:21,109 --> 01:22:22,676
A little bit for the homeys.
2063
01:22:22,678 --> 01:22:24,810
It's so cold outside too.
2064
01:22:24,812 --> 01:22:28,081
We should go to Christmas
Tree at Rockefeller Center.
2065
01:22:28,083 --> 01:22:29,783
- Yes.
- That's a good idea.
2066
01:22:29,785 --> 01:22:31,551
CHRIS: Then we go to FAO Schwarz...
2067
01:22:31,553 --> 01:22:33,686
- And we dance on the piano!
- And we dance on the piano!
2068
01:22:33,688 --> 01:22:35,221
- Like Tom Hanks in Big.
- "Heart and Soul."
2069
01:22:35,223 --> 01:22:37,556
Then we eat Chinese food,
because I'm fucking high.
2070
01:22:37,558 --> 01:22:40,594
And then go to the karaoke spot
right by the Chinese food place.
2071
01:22:40,596 --> 01:22:42,962
That's a fucking good idea.
2072
01:22:42,964 --> 01:22:44,831
It's a dope night.
2073
01:22:44,833 --> 01:22:49,972
♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪
2074
01:22:51,673 --> 01:22:54,276
That was fucking touching, yo.
2075
01:22:55,611 --> 01:22:58,010
Those are some ride-or-die
homeys you got there.
2076
01:22:58,012 --> 01:23:01,180
Cherish that shit.
2077
01:23:01,182 --> 01:23:03,582
It's all different now.
2078
01:23:03,584 --> 01:23:05,685
Those guys don't need me anymore.
2079
01:23:05,687 --> 01:23:07,220
Oh, yeah? Listen.
2080
01:23:07,222 --> 01:23:09,588
ISAAC: We need him! We're
not leaving without him!
2081
01:23:09,590 --> 01:23:12,225
CHRIS: He's my best friend in
the world. I can't leave him here.
2082
01:23:12,227 --> 01:23:15,060
ISAAC: Don't let the red noses
fool you, these fuckers are tough.
2083
01:23:15,062 --> 01:23:17,063
What if I run in, and you
try to climb in a window?
2084
01:23:17,065 --> 01:23:18,998
Maybe if you boost me up
we can get around them.
2085
01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:21,001
No, I can't boost you,
you're too heavy, man.
2086
01:23:21,003 --> 01:23:23,737
ISAAC: We need our friend and
we'll never leave him behind!
2087
01:23:23,739 --> 01:23:25,939
- Hand him over, reindeer!
- Yo!
2088
01:23:25,941 --> 01:23:27,274
CHRIS: I'll charge and you go.
2089
01:23:27,276 --> 01:23:28,774
- There he is!
- BOTH: Hey!
2090
01:23:28,776 --> 01:23:30,543
We've been looking everywhere for you!
2091
01:23:30,545 --> 01:23:32,711
- Rudolph is kicking our ass!
- I'm here!
2092
01:23:32,713 --> 01:23:34,146
ISAAC: Get down here so we can go!
2093
01:23:34,148 --> 01:23:35,282
Here I come!
2094
01:23:35,284 --> 01:23:37,283
CHRIS: Come around!
2095
01:23:37,285 --> 01:23:40,252
I'm fuckin'... I got your nose!
2096
01:23:40,254 --> 01:23:42,255
I got your nose, asshole!
2097
01:23:42,257 --> 01:23:45,126
How about that, Rudolph? Huh?
2098
01:23:46,594 --> 01:23:48,694
- Thanks, Mr. Green.
- You're welcome.
2099
01:23:48,696 --> 01:23:51,032
[♪♪♪]
2100
01:23:56,637 --> 01:23:58,171
CHRIS: It was a pretty dumb thing you did.
2101
01:23:58,173 --> 01:24:00,306
ETHAN: I know. I didn't
think it through at all.
2102
01:24:00,308 --> 01:24:02,042
I just saw her at the bar and just...
2103
01:24:02,044 --> 01:24:04,978
I don't know man, I really,
really like this girl.
2104
01:24:04,980 --> 01:24:06,145
I can't help it.
2105
01:24:06,147 --> 01:24:10,850
I was scared of being alone,
and did some stupid shit.
2106
01:24:10,852 --> 01:24:12,351
I think she just wanted you to do
2107
01:24:12,353 --> 01:24:15,654
some normal shit that boyfriends
do after two years of dating.
2108
01:24:15,656 --> 01:24:17,924
But I'm not normal. You
know this. I'm not normal.
2109
01:24:17,926 --> 01:24:20,726
Bunch of abnormal shit happened to me.
2110
01:24:20,728 --> 01:24:23,866
Or, I don't know, maybe
that's just an excuse.
2111
01:24:24,932 --> 01:24:27,300
I guess I'm pretty good at making excuses.
2112
01:24:27,302 --> 01:24:29,034
- ISAAC: Yeah.
- All the time.
2113
01:24:29,036 --> 01:24:32,171
If you get paid for that,
you'd be really successful.
2114
01:24:32,173 --> 01:24:33,640
Why didn't you tell me?
2115
01:24:33,642 --> 01:24:35,175
You know, it's hard to tell someone.
2116
01:24:35,177 --> 01:24:37,109
You have a good reason
to be making excuses.
2117
01:24:37,111 --> 01:24:39,948
It's just kind of ruining your life.
2118
01:24:43,084 --> 01:24:45,952
ISAAC: It's harder to stay friends
with people when you're older.
2119
01:24:45,954 --> 01:24:48,822
You have so much of your own shit going on.
2120
01:24:48,824 --> 01:24:51,224
CHRIS: We'll just have to try harder.
2121
01:24:51,226 --> 01:24:53,126
It's important, you know?
2122
01:24:53,128 --> 01:24:55,095
- Come on.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
2123
01:24:55,097 --> 01:24:57,063
I really love you.
2124
01:24:57,065 --> 01:24:58,230
I love you a lot.
2125
01:24:58,232 --> 01:24:59,765
Thanks, man.
2126
01:24:59,767 --> 01:25:01,701
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
2127
01:25:01,703 --> 01:25:03,836
ISAAC: Oh, no.
2128
01:25:03,838 --> 01:25:05,838
- Oh, no.
- CHRIS: What's up?
2129
01:25:05,840 --> 01:25:07,207
I have 96 missed calls.
2130
01:25:07,209 --> 01:25:08,841
CHRIS: Holy shit.
2131
01:25:08,843 --> 01:25:12,112
- Oh, no, Betsy's gone into labor, I bet.
- No.
2132
01:25:12,114 --> 01:25:14,146
Why the fuck would she
call that many times?
2133
01:25:14,148 --> 01:25:15,881
Oh, no, she's calling again.
2134
01:25:15,883 --> 01:25:17,250
Hello?
2135
01:25:17,252 --> 01:25:20,119
Hello? Yes. All right.
2136
01:25:20,121 --> 01:25:22,322
All right. That's fine.
2137
01:25:22,324 --> 01:25:26,426
Uh, I will be right there.
As fast as I can. Don't worry.
2138
01:25:26,428 --> 01:25:28,094
[♪♪♪]
2139
01:25:28,096 --> 01:25:29,796
Betsy's going into fucking labor.
2140
01:25:29,798 --> 01:25:31,131
ETHAN & CHRIS: What?
2141
01:25:31,133 --> 01:25:33,068
[SCREAMS]
2142
01:25:34,268 --> 01:25:36,269
ISAAC: Oh, no! Oh, no!
2143
01:25:36,271 --> 01:25:39,805
- CHRIS: Come on!
- ISAAC: Oh, no!
2144
01:25:39,807 --> 01:25:42,274
We'll never get a fucking cab over here!
2145
01:25:42,276 --> 01:25:44,045
Wait, look!
2146
01:25:45,146 --> 01:25:47,780
It's Mr. Green's car!
It's a Christmas miracle!
2147
01:25:47,782 --> 01:25:49,349
- Isaac, can you drive?
- Yeah!
2148
01:25:49,351 --> 01:25:51,885
No, no, no, I'm kidding! I'll drive!
2149
01:25:51,887 --> 01:25:53,686
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
2150
01:25:53,688 --> 01:25:54,854
♪ Christmas ♪
2151
01:25:54,856 --> 01:25:57,223
♪ The church bells in town ♪
2152
01:25:57,225 --> 01:25:58,390
♪ Christmas ♪
2153
01:25:58,392 --> 01:26:01,027
♪ Are ringing a song ♪
2154
01:26:01,029 --> 01:26:03,930
I believe I finally earned these.
2155
01:26:03,932 --> 01:26:05,998
♪ What a happy sound ♪
2156
01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:10,036
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
2157
01:26:10,038 --> 01:26:12,037
- Come on. I got you. I got you.
- [GROANING]
2158
01:26:12,039 --> 01:26:15,410
No, no, no. There you go. There you go.
2159
01:26:16,911 --> 01:26:19,244
- Get out of the way!
- [HONKS CAR HORN]
2160
01:26:19,246 --> 01:26:23,882
♪ And all the fun
We had last year ♪
2161
01:26:23,884 --> 01:26:25,051
♪ Christmas ♪
2162
01:26:25,053 --> 01:26:27,287
♪ Pretty lights on the tree ♪
2163
01:26:27,289 --> 01:26:29,456
Where is she? Where is she?
2164
01:26:29,458 --> 01:26:32,192
♪ I'm watching them shine ♪
2165
01:26:32,194 --> 01:26:34,961
Cindy? Where is she? Is everything okay?
2166
01:26:34,963 --> 01:26:36,796
It's okay. Nothing happened.
2167
01:26:36,798 --> 01:26:38,131
- Really?
- It was a false alarm.
2168
01:26:38,133 --> 01:26:39,832
Oh, God!
2169
01:26:39,834 --> 01:26:41,801
False alarm!
2170
01:26:41,803 --> 01:26:43,135
Betsy? Betsy?
2171
01:26:43,137 --> 01:26:44,503
Thank God. I'm so sorry.
2172
01:26:44,505 --> 01:26:45,971
Where were you?
2173
01:26:45,973 --> 01:26:47,774
I made a mistake. I made a huge mistake.
2174
01:26:47,776 --> 01:26:49,074
I called you.
2175
01:26:49,076 --> 01:26:51,310
- I switched phones with Sarah.
- From work?
2176
01:26:51,312 --> 01:26:53,179
It's a long story.
2177
01:26:53,181 --> 01:26:56,149
It doesn't matter. I just need
to tell you something. Okay?
2178
01:26:56,151 --> 01:26:57,984
Okay.
2179
01:26:57,986 --> 01:26:59,786
I'm gonna come clean with you.
2180
01:26:59,788 --> 01:27:01,854
Those drugs you gave me,
2181
01:27:01,856 --> 01:27:03,890
they sent me on a spirit quest.
2182
01:27:03,892 --> 01:27:05,125
You know, like a spirit quest
2183
01:27:05,127 --> 01:27:07,092
in an Oliver Stone movie
or Young Guns.
2184
01:27:07,094 --> 01:27:09,895
And when that happened, I kind of realized
2185
01:27:09,897 --> 01:27:13,265
that maybe I've been lying
to, maybe, myself and you
2186
01:27:13,267 --> 01:27:16,402
about how I really feel about some stuff.
2187
01:27:16,404 --> 01:27:17,770
I'm just gonna show you this.
2188
01:27:17,772 --> 01:27:20,206
- Just watch this.
- Okay.
2189
01:27:20,208 --> 01:27:22,509
This baby is a bad fucking
call. I'm not ready for it!
2190
01:27:22,511 --> 01:27:25,345
We got to do this responsible
thing, and I got to say
2191
01:27:25,347 --> 01:27:27,514
that we should not
be having this baby!
2192
01:27:27,516 --> 01:27:29,248
Get rid of this fucking baby!
2193
01:27:29,250 --> 01:27:30,984
Put it in a bag and
leave it somewhere!
2194
01:27:30,986 --> 01:27:32,284
- [CHUCKLES]
- Put it in a basket
2195
01:27:32,286 --> 01:27:33,920
and push it down a fucking river!
2196
01:27:33,922 --> 01:27:36,288
- Are you laughing?
- This is hilarious.
2197
01:27:36,290 --> 01:27:37,457
Cunt!
2198
01:27:37,459 --> 01:27:39,125
Did you just call our baby a cunt?
2199
01:27:39,127 --> 01:27:40,292
I forgot about that.
2200
01:27:40,294 --> 01:27:42,996
Honestly? Okay, I can't watch anymore.
2201
01:27:42,998 --> 01:27:45,030
But honestly, I'm a little relieved.
2202
01:27:45,032 --> 01:27:46,498
- You are?
- Are you kidding me!
2203
01:27:46,500 --> 01:27:50,002
I feel like such a dumb asshole
compared to you sometimes.
2204
01:27:50,004 --> 01:27:51,871
It's all been a lie. It's all been a front,
2205
01:27:51,873 --> 01:27:53,139
because I'm fucking freaking out.
2206
01:27:53,141 --> 01:27:54,808
It's all just been to compensate
2207
01:27:54,810 --> 01:27:56,408
for the fact that I don't know anything.
2208
01:27:56,410 --> 01:27:58,877
- This is good. You need to let it out.
- This is good?
2209
01:27:58,879 --> 01:28:00,880
Yes. You need to not bottle it up.
2210
01:28:00,882 --> 01:28:02,916
One of us has to not be freaking out.
2211
01:28:02,918 --> 01:28:05,150
- I'm actually okay.
- Really?
2212
01:28:05,152 --> 01:28:08,153
Suddenly I was thinking about
everything you've been saying,
2213
01:28:08,155 --> 01:28:11,890
about how strong we are,
and how we can handle it.
2214
01:28:11,892 --> 01:28:13,393
And that made me feel better.
2215
01:28:13,395 --> 01:28:14,594
Really?
2216
01:28:14,596 --> 01:28:18,564
Yeah. I really feel like I can do this.
2217
01:28:18,566 --> 01:28:20,033
Look at me.
2218
01:28:20,035 --> 01:28:22,836
- I'm your rock.
- You're my rock?
2219
01:28:22,838 --> 01:28:24,170
I'm Dwayne.
2220
01:28:24,172 --> 01:28:26,372
I get to have sex with
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
2221
01:28:26,374 --> 01:28:28,841
I love you, Isaac.
2222
01:28:28,843 --> 01:28:30,577
I love you, dragon.
2223
01:28:30,579 --> 01:28:33,179
Betsy.
2224
01:28:33,181 --> 01:28:36,082
Did you say "Dragon Betsy"?
2225
01:28:36,084 --> 01:28:37,417
I'm gonna keep being honest.
2226
01:28:37,419 --> 01:28:39,185
I'm tripping my fucking balls off still,
2227
01:28:39,187 --> 01:28:40,920
and you look like a dragon right now.
2228
01:28:40,922 --> 01:28:42,221
- I do?
- Yeah.
2229
01:28:42,223 --> 01:28:43,488
[ROARS]
2230
01:28:43,490 --> 01:28:45,591
- ISAAC: Ah!
- Is that scary?
2231
01:28:45,593 --> 01:28:47,092
It's intense.
2232
01:28:47,094 --> 01:28:48,360
[ROARS]
2233
01:28:48,362 --> 01:28:50,630
Let's just go. Can we
just go? Let's just go.
2234
01:28:50,632 --> 01:28:53,102
♪ Bells will be ringing ♪
2235
01:28:54,602 --> 01:28:57,269
That's nice.
2236
01:28:57,271 --> 01:29:01,140
♪ Oh, what a Christmas ♪
2237
01:29:01,142 --> 01:29:02,609
♪ To have the blues ♪
2238
01:29:02,611 --> 01:29:05,377
- What is it?
- Aww...
2239
01:29:05,379 --> 01:29:08,483
♪ My baby's home ♪
2240
01:29:09,950 --> 01:29:12,217
Couldn't have been easy to tell me that.
2241
01:29:12,219 --> 01:29:16,588
It's not gonna be easy
to tell the world either.
2242
01:29:16,590 --> 01:29:19,091
Guess we gonna lose the park, huh?
2243
01:29:19,093 --> 01:29:22,996
Fuck that park. It got crackheads.
2244
01:29:22,998 --> 01:29:24,663
Say the grace, boy.
2245
01:29:24,665 --> 01:29:27,500
Yes, ma'am.
2246
01:29:27,502 --> 01:29:29,101
Heavenly Father,
2247
01:29:29,103 --> 01:29:31,069
thank you for this food
we're about to receive.
2248
01:29:31,071 --> 01:29:33,273
Thank you for my momma.
2249
01:29:33,275 --> 01:29:37,377
Thank you for my friends
and their families.
2250
01:29:37,379 --> 01:29:41,247
♪ Please, come home
for Christmas ♪
2251
01:29:41,249 --> 01:29:45,585
♪ Baby, come home
for Christmas ♪
2252
01:29:45,587 --> 01:29:49,255
♪ If not for Christmas ♪
2253
01:29:49,257 --> 01:29:53,592
♪ By New Year's night ♪
2254
01:29:53,594 --> 01:29:56,564
♪ Friends and relations ♪
2255
01:29:57,598 --> 01:30:00,399
♪ Send salutations ♪
2256
01:30:00,401 --> 01:30:02,435
[EXHALES]
2257
01:30:02,437 --> 01:30:07,273
♪ Sure as the
stars Shine above ♪
2258
01:30:07,275 --> 01:30:10,042
[EXHALES]
2259
01:30:10,044 --> 01:30:12,244
- Hi.
- Really?
2260
01:30:12,246 --> 01:30:13,078
[SCOFFS]
2261
01:30:13,080 --> 01:30:14,713
Are you gonna propose to me again?
2262
01:30:14,715 --> 01:30:16,181
- ETHAN: No.
- Are you sure?
2263
01:30:16,183 --> 01:30:17,716
I just wanted to talk to you.
2264
01:30:17,718 --> 01:30:19,385
And I have something to tell you,
2265
01:30:19,387 --> 01:30:21,688
and I wanna tell it on
Christmas. If that's all right?
2266
01:30:21,690 --> 01:30:23,389
So it can't wait.
2267
01:30:23,391 --> 01:30:25,591
Can you just come out here
for a sec and we'll talk,
2268
01:30:25,593 --> 01:30:27,362
and then I'll go. I promise.
2269
01:30:30,965 --> 01:30:32,733
Okay. Fine.
2270
01:30:34,369 --> 01:30:35,301
What?
2271
01:30:35,303 --> 01:30:38,003
First of all, I'm sorry about last night.
2272
01:30:38,005 --> 01:30:40,506
- I know that was stupid.
- Yeah.
2273
01:30:40,508 --> 01:30:43,576
And, uh... And...
2274
01:30:43,578 --> 01:30:47,212
And it was totally crazy that
I wouldn't meet your parents.
2275
01:30:47,214 --> 01:30:49,649
That was just me being really...
2276
01:30:49,651 --> 01:30:52,318
Yeah. I agree with that.
2277
01:30:52,320 --> 01:30:55,688
But I guess I was...
2278
01:30:55,690 --> 01:30:57,189
I don't know, scared,
2279
01:30:57,191 --> 01:30:59,091
because Chris and Isaac have been my family
2280
01:30:59,093 --> 01:31:01,193
for the last 10 years,
2281
01:31:01,195 --> 01:31:03,462
so I didn't wanna meet your family
2282
01:31:03,464 --> 01:31:06,099
because that would change everything.
2283
01:31:06,101 --> 01:31:08,167
But everything changes,
right? We all grow up,
2284
01:31:08,169 --> 01:31:11,703
and that's a good thing,
I wanna grow up. I do.
2285
01:31:11,705 --> 01:31:13,639
[♪♪♪]
2286
01:31:13,641 --> 01:31:16,743
I wanna grow up with you.
2287
01:31:16,745 --> 01:31:19,479
And I do wanna have a family,
2288
01:31:19,481 --> 01:31:22,180
other than two dudes.
2289
01:31:22,182 --> 01:31:27,720
But I want that family to...
2290
01:31:27,722 --> 01:31:30,390
I want it to be you.
2291
01:31:30,392 --> 01:31:35,028
Which is probably worse than proposing,
2292
01:31:35,030 --> 01:31:38,598
because now we're talking
about you bearing my children.
2293
01:31:38,600 --> 01:31:40,466
Yeah. It's a lot.
2294
01:31:40,468 --> 01:31:44,773
But just pretend I'm saying
it right, if you could.
2295
01:31:46,040 --> 01:31:48,073
I'd rather be the guy, from now on,
2296
01:31:48,075 --> 01:31:50,542
who says too much than not enough.
2297
01:31:50,544 --> 01:31:55,247
If we're being honest, I
should apologize to you also
2298
01:31:55,249 --> 01:31:58,384
for stalking you, a little bit.
2299
01:31:58,386 --> 01:32:02,188
I knew that you were gonna
be at that bar last night.
2300
01:32:02,190 --> 01:32:04,390
You pretended like that
was just coincidence.
2301
01:32:04,392 --> 01:32:06,125
I did. And also,
2302
01:32:06,127 --> 01:32:09,127
if we're confessing things,
2303
01:32:09,129 --> 01:32:13,666
I do ask Betsy about you.
2304
01:32:13,668 --> 01:32:15,534
Kind of all the time.
2305
01:32:15,536 --> 01:32:16,802
She doesn't let on.
2306
01:32:16,804 --> 01:32:18,438
I know. Because she's my friend.
2307
01:32:18,440 --> 01:32:20,540
I ask her about you every time I see her.
2308
01:32:20,542 --> 01:32:22,809
- Oh, I know.
- Yeah.
2309
01:32:22,811 --> 01:32:24,277
She tells me every time you ask.
2310
01:32:24,279 --> 01:32:25,811
She doesn't tell me that you ask her.
2311
01:32:25,813 --> 01:32:27,715
She's a girl. That's how it works.
2312
01:32:30,552 --> 01:32:32,085
Can I come in?
2313
01:32:32,087 --> 01:32:34,519
In here?
2314
01:32:34,521 --> 01:32:37,256
- This is my parents' house.
- I know.
2315
01:32:37,258 --> 01:32:40,827
I thought that you didn't do parents.
2316
01:32:40,829 --> 01:32:42,828
- I'll do your parents.
- Oh.
2317
01:32:42,830 --> 01:32:45,264
Wow. Nice.
2318
01:32:45,266 --> 01:32:48,667
Don't do my dad doggy-style.
He's got very bad knees.
2319
01:32:48,669 --> 01:32:52,137
- [LAUGHS]
- He's an old man now.
2320
01:32:52,139 --> 01:32:54,340
[♪♪♪]
2321
01:32:54,342 --> 01:32:56,141
All right.
2322
01:32:56,143 --> 01:32:57,710
- Hey.
- Yo.
2323
01:32:57,712 --> 01:32:59,845
I kind of wanna kiss you,
2324
01:32:59,847 --> 01:33:03,517
but maybe not so soon after
saying I would do your parents.
2325
01:33:05,320 --> 01:33:08,720
♪ No more sorrow ♪
2326
01:33:08,722 --> 01:33:11,392
♪ No grief and no pain ♪
2327
01:33:12,494 --> 01:33:15,894
♪ 'Cause I'll be happy ♪
2328
01:33:15,896 --> 01:33:20,600
♪ Happy once again ♪
2329
01:33:20,602 --> 01:33:23,603
Come have sex with my mother and my father.
2330
01:33:23,605 --> 01:33:25,505
I thought you were saying, "Come have sex."
2331
01:33:25,507 --> 01:33:27,340
With my mother and also my father.
2332
01:33:27,342 --> 01:33:28,809
[LAUGHS]
2333
01:33:37,785 --> 01:33:40,752
♪ No more sorrow ♪
2334
01:33:40,754 --> 01:33:44,890
♪ No grief and no pain ♪
2335
01:33:44,892 --> 01:33:48,293
♪ 'Cause I'll be happy ♪
2336
01:33:48,295 --> 01:33:50,630
♪ Christmas, once again ♪
2337
01:33:50,632 --> 01:33:51,863
She won't sleep.
2338
01:33:51,865 --> 01:33:53,933
- Can we try?
- Are you sure?
2339
01:33:53,935 --> 01:33:55,701
Showtime. Let's do it.
2340
01:33:55,703 --> 01:33:57,737
BETSY: Thank you.
2341
01:33:57,739 --> 01:34:00,372
- ISAAC: Hey, sweetie.
- ETHAN: This is the best.
2342
01:34:00,374 --> 01:34:02,808
ISAAC: Come here, little
sweetie. Come here.
2343
01:34:02,810 --> 01:34:04,377
Come here, sweetie.
2344
01:34:04,379 --> 01:34:06,679
Look who it is. Who are these guys?
2345
01:34:06,681 --> 01:34:08,648
Look at that.
2346
01:34:08,650 --> 01:34:10,750
Who are these guys here?
2347
01:34:10,752 --> 01:34:13,351
- Should we do it?
- Yeah, do it.
2348
01:34:13,353 --> 01:34:17,256
♪ It's Christmas time
In Hollis, Queens ♪
2349
01:34:17,258 --> 01:34:20,525
♪ Mom's cooking chicken
And collard greens ♪
2350
01:34:20,527 --> 01:34:24,262
♪ Rice and stuffing
Macaroni and cheese ♪
2351
01:34:24,264 --> 01:34:28,701
[IN UNISON] ♪ And Santa's putting
gifts Under Christmas trees ♪
2352
01:34:28,703 --> 01:34:32,404
♪ My name's DMC With
the mic in my hand ♪
2353
01:34:32,406 --> 01:34:36,274
♪ I'm chilling and cooling
Just like a snowman ♪
2354
01:34:36,276 --> 01:34:39,345
♪ So open your eyes Lend us an ear ♪
2355
01:34:39,347 --> 01:34:40,712
♪ We want to say ♪
2356
01:34:40,714 --> 01:34:45,052
♪ Merry Christmas And Happy New Year ♪
2357
01:34:46,887 --> 01:34:50,389
CHRIS: That's good. Wow.
2358
01:34:50,391 --> 01:34:52,558
NARRATOR: The end.
2359
01:34:52,560 --> 01:34:54,693
How was that for a Christmas story?
2360
01:34:54,695 --> 01:34:56,695
That was nice!
2361
01:34:56,697 --> 01:34:57,930
That was some shit!
2362
01:34:57,932 --> 01:35:00,733
Shit happened! Things went down!
2363
01:35:00,735 --> 01:35:02,301
Lessons were learned.
2364
01:35:02,303 --> 01:35:04,737
Friends are important,
but relationships evolve.
2365
01:35:04,739 --> 01:35:07,840
I'm so glad Ethan and
Diana ended up together.
2366
01:35:07,842 --> 01:35:09,442
I hope he get her pregnant.
2367
01:35:09,444 --> 01:35:11,443
I'd like to give a special
shout-out to my seed
2368
01:35:11,445 --> 01:35:14,313
for killing it again this Christmas.
2369
01:35:14,315 --> 01:35:16,015
[LAUGHS] Best I ever did it!
2370
01:35:16,017 --> 01:35:18,717
Shit, Pop. Thanks.
2371
01:35:18,719 --> 01:35:19,586
Thanks for noticing.
2372
01:35:19,588 --> 01:35:22,587
Right now, let the after-party begin!
2373
01:35:22,589 --> 01:35:23,788
DJ Kevy Kev!
2374
01:35:23,790 --> 01:35:26,658
Let's turn it up!
2375
01:35:26,660 --> 01:35:29,327
Turn it up, now! Holla!
2376
01:35:29,329 --> 01:35:31,796
♪ It's time to dip dive dip
You might break your hip ♪
2377
01:35:31,798 --> 01:35:33,966
♪ To the sound that's legit
I've come to make a hit ♪
2378
01:35:33,968 --> 01:35:35,868
♪ I usually bust scratches
With my brother C.L. Smooth ♪
2379
01:35:35,870 --> 01:35:37,869
♪ But I decided to get
wreck On this groove ♪
2380
01:35:37,871 --> 01:35:39,572
♪ As I provide the slide
You're going on a ride ♪
2381
01:35:39,574 --> 01:35:41,439
♪ I know the weather's nice ♪
2382
01:35:41,441 --> 01:35:43,309
♪ There's no need to
play The outside ♪
2383
01:35:43,311 --> 01:35:45,310
♪ Guess who's on the flyer
The man of your desire ♪
2384
01:35:45,312 --> 01:35:47,412
♪ Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth
All the honey dips admire ♪
2385
01:35:47,414 --> 01:35:49,515
♪ Beats are rough and rugged
Pete Rock is the creator ♪
2386
01:35:49,517 --> 01:35:51,050
♪ Now I'm busting raps While
switching cross-faders ♪
2387
01:35:51,052 --> 01:35:53,351
♪ Making sure my sound
hits From here to Grenada ♪
2388
01:35:53,353 --> 01:35:55,054
♪ Honey gave me skins, man, I
told her friends I ate her ♪
2389
01:35:55,056 --> 01:35:57,622
♪ But wait up I save
this subject for later ♪
2390
01:35:57,624 --> 01:35:59,960
♪ But it's time to get
wreck With the creator ♪
2391
01:36:14,842 --> 01:36:16,975
♪ I'm addicted like a
stoag Not into vogue ♪
2392
01:36:16,977 --> 01:36:18,877
♪ Yo, Pete, there's
a girl On the phone ♪
2393
01:36:18,879 --> 01:36:20,578
♪ Tell her to hold
'Cause I'm busy ♪
2394
01:36:20,580 --> 01:36:22,715
♪ Kickin' rhymes To the rhythm ♪
2395
01:36:22,717 --> 01:36:24,783
♪ Fortified with soul 'Cause
that's what I give 'em ♪
2396
01:36:24,785 --> 01:36:26,652
♪ Honeys form a line 'cause
I always seem to capture ♪
2397
01:36:26,654 --> 01:36:28,586
♪ Beats made of rupture
Rhymes made of rapture ♪
2398
01:36:28,588 --> 01:36:30,488
♪ Far from illiterate
Always seem to get a hit ♪
2399
01:36:30,490 --> 01:36:32,658
♪ If you try to step to this,
Don't even consider it ♪
2400
01:36:32,660 --> 01:36:34,793
♪ Skins when I want 'em
But only when I eat 'em ♪
2401
01:36:34,795 --> 01:36:36,695
♪ To set the record straight
I'll be damned if eat 'em ♪
2402
01:36:36,697 --> 01:36:38,764
♪ Call me Pete Rock, I
make the girls flock ♪
2403
01:36:38,766 --> 01:36:40,866
♪ If you want a beat like
this I got them in stock ♪
2404
01:36:40,868 --> 01:36:43,002
♪ So flow with the flow 'cause
You know I'm good to go ♪
2405
01:36:43,004 --> 01:36:45,104
♪ As I proceed to get
wreck On your stereo ♪
2406
01:36:45,106 --> 01:36:47,073
♪ Not an imitator Just
a crowd motivator ♪
2407
01:36:47,075 --> 01:36:49,811
♪ But it's time to get
wreck With the creator ♪
2408
01:37:04,558 --> 01:37:06,995
♪ The C.L. Smooth
Cut it up like this ♪
2409
01:37:22,110 --> 01:37:24,143
♪ Now, I'm a take a try And
get a piece of the pie ♪
2410
01:37:24,145 --> 01:37:26,112
♪ If they give me one
sec To get some wreck ♪
2411
01:37:26,114 --> 01:37:28,413
♪ Never filled with anger
A good body banger ♪
2412
01:37:28,415 --> 01:37:30,750
♪ If you try to step to this
You'll get hung on my hanger ♪
2413
01:37:30,752 --> 01:37:32,818
♪ Before I say goodbye
Suckers gave a good try ♪
2414
01:37:32,820 --> 01:37:34,787
♪ But point blank You
just can't see this ♪
2415
01:37:34,789 --> 01:37:36,756
♪ My word is beneficial
Pete Rock is the issue ♪
2416
01:37:36,758 --> 01:37:38,657
♪ And I know you know
my style Is official ♪
2417
01:37:38,659 --> 01:37:40,760
- ♪ I might give a scratch ♪
- ♪ Yes, cousin ♪
2418
01:37:40,762 --> 01:37:42,862
- ♪ Or I might kick a verse ♪
- ♪ No question ♪
2419
01:37:42,864 --> 01:37:45,064
♪ Either one, can't be seen
Honeys call me tall and lean ♪
2420
01:37:45,066 --> 01:37:47,132
♪ If you get to stick around
I'll show you what I mean ♪
2421
01:37:47,134 --> 01:37:49,135
♪ I'm not an imitator
Just a crowd motivator ♪
2422
01:37:49,137 --> 01:37:51,872
♪ But it's time to get
wreck With the creator ♪
2423
01:37:57,879 --> 01:38:00,715
♪ It's time to get
wreck With the creator ♪
2424
01:38:06,687 --> 01:38:08,957
♪ Get wreck with the creator ♪
2425
01:38:15,195 --> 01:38:17,197
♪ The creator ♪
2426
01:38:21,067 --> 01:38:23,871
♪ C.L. Smooth get busy ♪
2427
01:38:27,174 --> 01:38:28,942
♪ C.L. Smooth ♪
2428
01:38:30,511 --> 01:38:32,813
♪ C.L. Smooth ♪
2429
01:38:34,514 --> 01:38:37,719
♪ C.L. Smooth ♪
2430
01:39:02,243 --> 01:39:04,713
[♪♪♪]
2431
01:39:16,057 --> 01:39:20,295
[PEOPLE SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
2432
01:39:31,239 --> 01:39:36,242
♪ 'Tis the season ♪
2433
01:39:36,244 --> 01:39:40,045
♪ There is a reason ♪
2434
01:39:40,047 --> 01:39:45,917
♪ For us to see ♪
2435
01:39:45,919 --> 01:39:48,155
[♪♪♪]
2436
01:39:56,696 --> 01:39:59,099
[♪♪♪]
2437
01:40:14,648 --> 01:40:17,050
[♪♪♪]
2438
01:40:17,052 --> 01:40:27,052
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com