1
00:00:00,815 --> 00:00:02,442
Max, do you read...?

2
00:00:02,617 --> 00:00:03,879
99!

3
00:00:04,052 --> 00:00:05,883
What happened to your radio?

4
00:00:06,054 --> 00:00:09,046
I swallowed it. I can get it back,
but you may not want it.

5
00:00:09,223 --> 00:00:11,047
- Good Lord.
- Listen...

6
00:00:11,225 --> 00:00:13,756
...l've placed charges
at points all over the building.

7
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:18,846
What? Max, you can't blow up a building
full of radioactive material!

8
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:22,922
I know that, 99. I've placed only enough
charges to safely bury the weapons lab.

9
00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:25,152
Max, that's brilliant.

10
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:29,126
Wow. That's maybe the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.

11
00:00:57,525 --> 00:01:01,461
- I don't get it, I thought he was dead!
- I will say this, he is not a quitter.

12
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:20,470
This is just ridiculous!

13
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:27,711
99!

14
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:29,014
Wake up, 99.

15
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:31,351
Maybe you should kiss him again.

16
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:37,594
Wait, I know that voice.
The chatter! Dalip.

17
00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:46,567
Ow! That was me!

18
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,502
- Max?
- I'm... Yep, still fighting.

19
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:16,059
Now, Dalip, I can prove that I know you.
Your favorite dish is chicken tikka!

20
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,863
Like me, you enjoy
<i>American Top 40 with Ryan Seacrest.</i>

21
00:02:34,088 --> 00:02:35,818
Ow.

22
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:48,729
Wait, wait, Dalip,
there's something else that I know.

23
00:02:48,903 --> 00:02:50,063
Max. Max.

24
00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:53,968
Your marriage is in trouble.
Your darling wife, Zeenat, is leaving you.

25
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,770
But there is still hope.

26
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,411
Do you love her?

27
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:07,485
- Wha...?
- Then show her. Go home for lunch.

28
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:10,215
Take her with you the next time
you go to kill someone.

29
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,216
She just wants to be with you...

30
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,657
...and that means
less time with her sister...

31
00:03:14,829 --> 00:03:17,525
...who we both know is undermining
your relationship.

32
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,799
Kick the gun to me.

33
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,526
99, please.

34
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,828
Big people feel pain too.

35
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,315
What are you doing?

36
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,520
Oh, no. Oh, no.

37
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:43,316
Max!

38
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:50,323
Okay. Okay. That's all right. That's okay.

39
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:55,596
Her sister's such a bitch.

40
00:04:03,144 --> 00:04:05,442
- You all right?
- Yeah. That was amazing.

41
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,112
Thank you.

42
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,741
We gotta go.

43
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,318
99.

44
00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:30,865
- What was that?
- I cramped up.

45
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:34,864
Come on. Come here.

46
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:36,903
Good idea.

47
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:40,808
We will climb up with you,
and we'll all go... together.

48
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,122
He left us here.

49
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,086
What a douche.

50
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,713
Missed it by that much.

51
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:21,454
Well, that's convenient. Shoot them.

52
00:05:29,964 --> 00:05:32,262
Whatever you do, 99, don't look down!

53
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:36,062
I'm gonna try to get us over to that ledge!
We can do this, 99!

54
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,462
Max.

55
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,130
Right.

56
00:05:44,979 --> 00:05:46,207
Thanks, Chief.

57
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:48,338
Okay, no problem.

58
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:51,348
The Chief is thrilled.
He sent 23 out to observe the cleanup.

59
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,542
Great.

60
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:58,020
Listen, is it possible that you could
answer a personal question?

61
00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,023
It's possible.

62
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,954
Why did you change your looks?

63
00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:07,727
Oh. Um...
That's not really a personal question.

64
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,527
Things from my non-work sphere
spilled into my work sphere.

65
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:15,641
Facts became known, identities were
compromised, and I became a brunette.

66
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,869
Wow. That is a great story...

67
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:22,447
...in which you revealed
absolutely nothing about yourself.

68
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,515
I blew a mission.

69
00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:35,956
I was involved with someone from work.
I lost focus. The mission blew up.

70
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:40,590
I broke it off with that person,
but my identity had already been revealed.

71
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,326
So I had two choices.

72
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:45,199
I could either spend the rest of my life
behind a desk...

73
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,041
...which would be like
eight hours a day...

74
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,904
...of scraping a cheese grater
against my forehead.

75
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,909
- Oh, you know.
- Yes.

76
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,708
Or I could change my face,
so that's what I did.

77
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:03,216
And it was painful,
but it needed to be done, and s...

78
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:10,960
- I don't wanna talk about this anymore.
- Okay.

79
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,699
I used to look like my mom.

80
00:07:22,076 --> 00:07:25,068
I used to look like
two of my moms put together.

81
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:06,150
Sir, if I may ask...

82
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,481
...how did you choose the target?

83
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,021
- Why Los Angeles?
- Major city...

84
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:13,056
...lots of media attention...

85
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,121
...and the president will be there.

86
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:18,894
Still, it's too bad
about all the dead movie stars.

87
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,363
Yes.

88
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:24,903
What will we do without
their razor-sharp political advice?

89
00:08:29,410 --> 00:08:32,504
Oh, my God, have you eaten the crew?

90
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,573
Oh, look, it understands.

91
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,410
Get back to work.

92
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:57,831
No, that's not possible.
No, no, no. Max said that...

93
00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:01,434
No.

94
00:09:05,179 --> 00:09:07,113
That doesn't make any sense.

95
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,817
Yellowcake uranium, warheads,
an entire production line.

96
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,954
There's nothing here
but what used to be a bakery.

97
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,682
There are no weapons?
No radioactivity of any kind?

98
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,622
Nothing. I've swept the entire area,
and it's clean.

99
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:23,991
- But Max said that he s...
- Did you see the evidence yourself?

100
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:25,829
No.

101
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:29,031
No, every time he found something,
he was alone.

102
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,039
What do you want me to do with Max?

103
00:09:37,211 --> 00:09:38,701
- Do with Max?
- Max?

104
00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:43,806
You were right when you said
I shouldn't trust you.

105
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:46,846
Give me the phone.

106
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,626
And who might this be? Siegfried?

107
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:54,954
<i>Hello, Max.</i>

108
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,152
Chief?

109
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,362
Knockout gas, 99?

110
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:03,901
Please. I have trained my body
to be impervious to...

111
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,402
That's new stuff.

112
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:09,866
Oh, Max.

113
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,309
I'm very disappointed, Max.

114
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:22,387
I thought you and I were supposedly
cut from the same cloth.

115
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,751
How can you think
that I am a double agent?

116
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:27,393
You lied about finding evidence
of radioactivity.

117
00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:29,859
Killed Krstic before
anybody could question him.

118
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:33,227
There's a matter of your
stoving my head in with a fire extinguisher.

119
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,701
I said I was sorry. You just didn't hear me,
because you were in a mini coma.

120
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,566
You've made CONTROL a laughingstock.

121
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,538
The vice president wants to shut us down,
you know.

122
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,336
99.

123
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,639
This whole week...

124
00:10:49,283 --> 00:10:50,545
...last night...

125
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:52,679
...you know me.

126
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,286
Apparently not.

127
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,282
Oh, my God!

128
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,549
You two? You and Max?

129
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:01,421
You said we had to break up
because we work together.

130
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:02,789
Oh, my God! You and 23?

131
00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:05,865
I am so sexually threatened right now.

132
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,828
<i>You have reached...</i>

133
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,871
<i>... the United States</i>
<i>Department of Homeland Security.</i>

134
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,510
<i>For threats against</i>
<i>the continental United States, press 1.</i>

135
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:20,442
<i>For threats against Hawaii, press 2.</i>
<i>For threats against Puerto Rico...</i>

136
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:25,551
You know, you're the only human being
I know who snores when he's awake?

137
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,346
<i>If you're calling from a rotary...</i>

138
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,115
Okay, today's threat assessment.

139
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:34,784
- There are 72 threats on the list. Mike?
- Thank you, Mr. Vice President.

140
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:38,227
Okay, we have a deteriorating situation
in Venezuela.

141
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,958
We have a deteriorating situation
in Afghanistan.

142
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,830
What about the deteriorating situation
in North Korea?

143
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,869
- I was getting to that.
- When? Next week?

144
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,371
Yes, next Tuesday,
right after I kick your ass.

145
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:52,774
Gentlemen, when we argue,
the terrorists win.

146
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:59,013
Anyway, last night at a private dinner...

147
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:02,883
...President Kim Jong-il
made a very odd threat to, and I quote:

148
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,650
"Make a pudding from the bones
of Americans."

149
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,657
That guy's insane.

150
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:11,855
Doesn't he know bones are crunchy?
Who'd want a crunchy pudding?

151
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:14,924
War room.

152
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:19,095
Finally. My name is Siegfried,
and I represent KAOS.

153
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:23,470
<i>Over the past few months, we have</i>
<i>assembled a stockpile of nuclear weapons...</i>

154
00:12:23,644 --> 00:12:28,547
<i>... which we have distributed</i>
<i>to 20 unfriendly, unstable dictators.</i>

155
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:32,581
For the moment, KAOS retains
the bomb activation codes...

156
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:36,655
...but we will release the codes
unless our demands are met.

157
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:37,881
What are your demands?

158
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,117
200 billion dollars by 3 p.m.

159
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:42,818
200 billion dollars by 3 p. m?

160
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,395
<i>You seem a bit slow.</i>

161
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:47,761
- Is there someone else I can talk to?
- Good one.

162
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,065
Look, Siegfried,
we don't negotiate with terrorists...

163
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,570
...and you're obviously bluffing.
Take a hike.

164
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,367
What? Are you kidding me?

165
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:59,171
You spent the morning talking about
pudding, and you ignore a credible threat?

166
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,814
Credible? Come on.
KAOS has been defunct for 20 years.

167
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:04,507
With all due respect,
the CIA knows nothing about KAOS.

168
00:13:04,685 --> 00:13:07,119
CONTROL has to be in charge here.

169
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,279
- Like when you bombed that bakery?
- Muffins of mass destruction.

170
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,320
That's it!
I've been waiting for this since Nixon.

171
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:17,725
- Here we go.
- I got a new pacemaker, I can go all day!

172
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,957
- Okay!
- Okay! Come on!

173
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,864
It seems like they don't believe you.

174
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:30,774
Which is why we've arranged
for a little demonstration.

175
00:14:18,759 --> 00:14:20,556
Chief, you wanted to see me?

176
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:24,128
Yes. You and 23 are coming with me
to see the president.

177
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:27,027
- Can't you call him?
- Vice president won't let me through.

178
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:30,267
I can't believe we have to go
all the way to Los Angeles.

179
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,268
Why is the president never here?

180
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,999
I'm sure whatever he's doing
is vital to the nation.

181
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,240
"Good night, moon.

182
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:40,946
Good night,
cow jumping over the moon."

183
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:45,247
Actually, I think you would suck
as my teacher.

184
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,909
Well, from wh...

185
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:51,585
Hey, Smart. Happy birthday.

186
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:00,595
I'm fat!

187
00:15:10,544 --> 00:15:11,977
Gentlemen.

188
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,045
Oh. Good, the itchy kind.

189
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:18,309
My favorite.

190
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,282
Does this one also have smallpox?

191
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,583
And that was a human tooth.

192
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:29,456
<i>American Top 40.</i>
<i>- With Ryan Seacrest.</i>

193
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:32,462
<i>Here's a sweet dedication</i>
<i>from a little lady named Dalip.</i>

194
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,099
<i>It's to her boyfriend, Max.</i>

195
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:38,795
<i>"Meet me in L.A.</i>
<i>Things will be very hot. Nuclear hot. "

196
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:42,339
<i>I don't know, if I were Max,</i>
<i>I would get myself to L.A.</i>

197
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:54,518
Hey! Dumb guards!

198
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:58,920
Why don't you come in here so I can
make you my pretty little girlfriends.

199
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,559
You'll have to shower for weeks!

200
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,559
But you will never get the smell off...

201
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,961
You two seem very angry.

202
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:10,829
Thank you, sir, may I have another?

203
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,730
I was kidding.

204
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:26,444
9-4-3-6-8.

205
00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:32,991
9-4-3-6-8.

206
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:51,806
Turn around slowly.

207
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:57,313
Guys, you have to believe me.
I am not a double agent.

208
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,975
- We never thought you were.
- Yeah, we love you, man.

209
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:02,917
Then what's with the firearm
and the freak-show expressions?

210
00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:04,488
For the security cameras.

211
00:17:04,658 --> 00:17:07,923
If it looks like we let you go,
we'd totally get fired.

212
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:09,152
Got it.

213
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,265
So where are the Chief and 99?

214
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,401
They flew to L.A.
to talk to the president.

215
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,968
I need to get out of here
before someone stops me.

216
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,730
- Overpower us.
- Good idea.

217
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,567
Bruce, I will smash you in the face.

218
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:24,335
- Thank you.
- Lloyd, I'll simulate your disembowelment.

219
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:26,035
Ready? One...

220
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,612
Not yet! I haven't punched yet.
React when I punch.

221
00:17:28,782 --> 00:17:30,147
- Oh, yeah.
- One...

222
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:32,080
...two, three.

223
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,147
- Wrong way.
- Okay, wait.

224
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,790
- Sometimes I faint.
- I'm not going to hit you.

225
00:17:37,958 --> 00:17:41,553
No, but when I see blood, or when
I talk about blood, or think about blood...

226
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,390
There will be no blood.
Hang in there. Hang in, buddy.

227
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,372
What are you doing, dummkopf?

228
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:37,312
Running out in the middle of the road!
You could get hit by a car!

229
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:40,309
Well, that was ironic.

230
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,091
Chief, I'm not buying it.

231
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:59,261
With all our satellites,
there's no way anybody could possibly...

232
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,703
...have nuclear bombs
that we wouldn't know about.

233
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:03,274
"Nuclear!"

234
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,234
- What's that?
- Sorry.

235
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:08,745
Mr. President, if I could just
please show you some data, you'd agree...

236
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:10,439
Well, just back up here a second.

237
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,608
First thing I'd like to know is...

238
00:19:12,786 --> 00:19:14,947
...what did the vice president
say about this?

239
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:18,852
I'm afraid the vice president and I had
a less-than-cordial encounter yesterday.

240
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,788
- Less-than-cordial, you say?
- Yes, sir.

241
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:21,984
I'll say.

242
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:26,059
The chairman of joint chiefs
sent me this little movie.

243
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:27,893
Put it right here on my cell phone.

244
00:19:28,068 --> 00:19:30,059
Let me share this with you.
This is my favorite part.

245
00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:32,727
<i>I got a new pacemaker, I can go all day!</i>

246
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:35,801
Oh, Chief.

247
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,135
Very sweet tackle.

248
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,801
Look. Look at the surprise on his face.

249
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,311
I probably owe you an apology
for that, sir.

250
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,074
No. Please, just save your breath.

251
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,514
But I have to agree
with that son of a bitch.

252
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,018
We cannot respond to every threat.

253
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,823
Case closed.

254
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:16,439
Max?

255
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:17,742
<i>Hello, 99.</i>

256
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:19,748
Trace 99's call, now!

257
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,784
- Where are you?
- <i>That's not important.</i>

258
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:25,857
<i>What is important is that KAOS has planted</i>
<i>a bomb somewhere in Los Angeles.</i>

259
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,993
We got him. He's still in Washington.

260
00:20:28,161 --> 00:20:31,426
<i>Listen, while I was in my cell,</i>
<i>I had some time to think.</i>

261
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:38,629
<i>I realized that even though I was accused</i>
<i>of something I didn't do, I was happy.</i>

262
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:43,941
<i>Because at least for a little while,</i>
<i>I got to live my dream of being an agent.</i>

263
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:46,707
<i>And I got to be with you.</i>

264
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,713
<i>I learned that you have</i>
<i>a mean right cross...</i>

265
00:20:49,883 --> 00:20:53,080
<i>... you are almost as good</i>
<i>a dancer as me...</i>

266
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:56,484
- <i>... and you used to look like your mom.</i>
- Max.

267
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,989
<i>Please, 99. All I'm asking is for you</i>
<i>to look me in the eyes...</i>

268
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,754
<i>... and tell me that</i>
<i>you don't feel something too.</i>

269
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:04,690
Freeze!

270
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:08,630
Oh, Max. How could I look in your eyes?

271
00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:11,265
Just turn around.

272
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:20,669
Why are you talking into your shoe?

273
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:24,248
The old "call forwarding
from the shoe phone to the cell phone...

274
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:27,750
...so you don't know where I am,
then I appear on the roof behind you...

275
00:21:27,921 --> 00:21:29,912
...and surprise everyone" trick.

276
00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:31,954
- Don't move.
- What are you doing?

277
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,149
How did you get here?

278
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:38,422
Do you have another one of these?

279
00:21:42,235 --> 00:21:43,259
It doesn't matter.

280
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:46,405
What matters is that there is a bomb,
and I'm here to find it.

281
00:21:46,573 --> 00:21:48,734
- How do you know this?
- I'd rather not say.

282
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,899
Max, there are millions of lives at stake.

283
00:21:51,077 --> 00:21:54,274
If you have credible information
from a reliable source...

284
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:56,642
...I wanna know it,
and I wanna know it now.

285
00:21:57,717 --> 00:22:00,584
I heard it from America's sweetheart,
Ryan Seacrest.

286
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:02,084
- Whoa.
- Come on.

287
00:22:02,255 --> 00:22:03,847
It was a coded message.

288
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:07,390
Max, we're running out of time here.
What are you talking about?

289
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:11,394
I received a tip from a KAOS agent
who I befriended at the bakery.

290
00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:18,666
I think we should trust him, Chief.

291
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,806
Absolutely, Chief.
I'm with 99 on that one.

292
00:22:20,974 --> 00:22:23,772
Every time I look at Max's puppy eyes,
I'm a goner.

293
00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:27,743
Oh, my God. You've really never
had anyone break up with you, have you?

294
00:22:29,315 --> 00:22:32,216
Chief, you said that you and I are alike.

295
00:22:32,385 --> 00:22:34,751
That we are both old-fashioned men.

296
00:22:35,421 --> 00:22:37,548
Well, I have an old-fashioned hunch.

297
00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:42,286
I have a hunch that you have a hunch
that I am telling the truth.

298
00:22:43,396 --> 00:22:44,488
Max...

299
00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:49,163
Any double agent who escapes
from a high-security holding situation...

300
00:22:49,335 --> 00:22:52,930
...only to fall into the arms of
the people that got him in the first place...

301
00:22:53,106 --> 00:22:56,906
...is either an idiot or not a double agent,
and I don't think you're an idiot.

302
00:22:57,677 --> 00:22:58,701
Thank you, Chief.

303
00:22:59,345 --> 00:23:02,678
Now, we know that the president
is in town.

304
00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:06,649
- But what exactly is he doing here today?
- Max.

305
00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:11,119
- Yes. We need to find out his itinerary.
- But, Max, the...

306
00:23:11,291 --> 00:23:14,021
I know, 99. I need to go get a paper.

307
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:24,927
We're in position. More or less.

308
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:28,039
Roger. I have the whole
security system online. Just remember...

309
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:31,973
Yes, we know.
How about a little radio silence?

310
00:23:32,145 --> 00:23:36,144
I wanna quit, but what can I do?
He's married to my sister.

311
00:23:36,316 --> 00:23:40,776
By the way, I reviewed the security tapes
from the explosion at the bakery...

312
00:23:40,953 --> 00:23:44,980
...and I know that you let those
CONTROL agents get away.

313
00:23:45,158 --> 00:23:47,422
So unless you do your job today...

314
00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:53,725
...your lovely wife, Zeenat,
will have eaten her last kebab.

315
00:24:15,421 --> 00:24:19,323
<i>Blue team, check for access violation</i>
<i>at quadrant three, sector seven.</i>

316
00:24:19,492 --> 00:24:20,516
Copy that.

317
00:24:21,894 --> 00:24:23,054
Go.

318
00:24:40,546 --> 00:24:42,241
That's it. You're there.

319
00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:15,742
Door secure.

320
00:25:48,281 --> 00:25:50,545
We need to get everyone out
and shut this place.

321
00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:52,183
We've swept the building.

322
00:25:52,351 --> 00:25:56,117
The Secret Service doesn't make mistakes
like the fabulous bakery boys.

323
00:25:56,289 --> 00:25:58,223
Who told you about that? Who told you?

324
00:25:58,391 --> 00:26:00,655
Take it easy.
You'll give yourself a heart attack.

325
00:26:00,827 --> 00:26:03,455
And this day will not include
me blowing into your mouth.

326
00:26:03,629 --> 00:26:06,621
- You want a piece of me?
- Come on, Chief! he's not worth it.

327
00:26:06,799 --> 00:26:08,426
- Hey.
- I'm shaking. I'm shaking.

328
00:26:08,601 --> 00:26:09,625
You better watch it.

329
00:26:09,802 --> 00:26:11,292
Let me at him!

330
00:26:20,713 --> 00:26:22,613
<i>From Los Angeles, California...</i>

331
00:26:22,782 --> 00:26:24,639
<i>... we welcome you to a live broadcast...</i>

332
00:26:24,817 --> 00:26:26,808
<i>... of our concert for the president.</i>

333
00:26:26,986 --> 00:26:29,454
<i>Dignitaries from around the world</i>
<i>have gathered.</i>

334
00:26:29,622 --> 00:26:34,059
<i>We will be broadcasting from the Walt</i>
<i>Disney Concert Hall throughout the evening.</i>

335
00:26:34,227 --> 00:26:36,661
There has got to be another way in.

336
00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:39,730
Why are we even still here?
There are 50 other perfect targets.

337
00:26:39,899 --> 00:26:43,300
The Golden Gate Bridge, Space Needle.
There's no chatter to support this.

338
00:26:43,469 --> 00:26:46,267
And you know what,
I'm done with this. Stop!

339
00:26:46,439 --> 00:26:49,897
Wait a minute, 23.
You're radioactive hot.

340
00:26:50,076 --> 00:26:52,135
When were you exposed to radioactivity?

341
00:26:52,311 --> 00:26:55,610
I just got back from Russia.
Half the people there are radioactive.

342
00:26:55,781 --> 00:26:56,805
The bakery.

343
00:26:56,983 --> 00:26:59,611
You said you swept the area
and everything was clean.

344
00:26:59,785 --> 00:27:02,185
- I did, and it was.
- Really?

345
00:27:02,355 --> 00:27:04,949
Was there anyone else there,
or do we just trust you?

346
00:27:05,424 --> 00:27:06,448
23.

347
00:27:07,627 --> 00:27:09,322
Your knife wound is seeping.

348
00:27:09,929 --> 00:27:11,760
Sudden rise in blood pressure?

349
00:27:11,931 --> 00:27:15,264
Perhaps you're nervous because
there is a bomb here and you know it.

350
00:27:15,434 --> 00:27:18,892
And what is with the briefcase?
Could that actually be the football?

351
00:27:19,071 --> 00:27:22,063
You mean the computer
containing the bomb activation codes?

352
00:27:22,241 --> 00:27:26,109
Exactly. I have no interest in a real football
unless it is signed by Joe Montana...

353
00:27:26,279 --> 00:27:28,474
...and I don't believe that's the case.

354
00:27:30,216 --> 00:27:31,979
Well, 23?

355
00:27:32,785 --> 00:27:34,810
You know what? We're out of time.

356
00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:38,381
You follow us, she dies.

357
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,895
Stop this car!

358
00:27:50,303 --> 00:27:53,704
Max! You idiot!
What the hell is wrong with you?

359
00:27:53,873 --> 00:27:57,206
You don't just slap your hands
on a government vehicle!

360
00:27:58,744 --> 00:28:03,113
All right, that's it! When we get back
to Washington, you morons are through!

361
00:28:06,252 --> 00:28:09,710
Damn it. How have you gotten
away with this for so long?

362
00:28:09,889 --> 00:28:12,255
I can't believe none of us saw it,
especially me.

363
00:28:12,425 --> 00:28:14,825
Don't beat yourself up.
You'll be dead soon anyway.

364
00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,422
Chief, he's heading
southbound on Grand.

365
00:28:19,599 --> 00:28:21,191
Thanks, Bruce. Keep us posted.

366
00:28:21,834 --> 00:28:25,463
<i>Hey!</i>
<i>CONTROL assholes who just stole my vehicle!</i>

367
00:28:25,638 --> 00:28:30,075
<i>I know you're listening! You two dickwads</i>
<i>put one scratch on that car...</i>

368
00:28:31,277 --> 00:28:32,642
<i>What was that?</i>

369
00:28:32,812 --> 00:28:34,575
Sorry, I'm losing you.

370
00:28:35,348 --> 00:28:36,372
What the?

371
00:28:37,850 --> 00:28:40,341
All right, fellas.
20 dollars if you hit the car.

372
00:28:42,355 --> 00:28:46,189
Chief, I have to say,
this whole thing really steams my clams.

373
00:28:46,359 --> 00:28:49,055
I cannot get over the fact
that 23 is a traitor.

374
00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:50,627
Sand trap!

375
00:28:50,796 --> 00:28:53,629
Now I know how you felt
when you thought I was a traitor.

376
00:28:53,799 --> 00:28:55,061
Tractor!

377
00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:58,101
I don't know how I missed it.
I'm usually very observant.

378
00:28:58,270 --> 00:28:59,601
Swordfish!

379
00:29:06,779 --> 00:29:09,179
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- I don't know.

380
00:29:09,348 --> 00:29:13,216
Were you thinking, "Holy shit, holy shit,
a swordfish almost went through my head?"

381
00:29:13,386 --> 00:29:14,910
If so, yes.

382
00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:16,384
Come on.

383
00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:42,472
On behalf of the United States Government,
I hereby commandeer this plane.

384
00:29:43,382 --> 00:29:45,282
The device is armed.
I hope you're moving.

385
00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:48,420
Don't worry, sir. I'll be well clear.

386
00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:54,826
<i>Chief, they're headed</i>
<i>southbound on l-47.</i>

387
00:29:54,994 --> 00:29:56,825
Thanks, Bruce. I got them!

388
00:29:57,697 --> 00:29:59,426
I need to get down to that car!

389
00:29:59,598 --> 00:30:03,090
No, no good. If I get too low,
he'll hear me coming!

390
00:30:06,906 --> 00:30:08,874
I have another idea.

391
00:30:09,709 --> 00:30:11,370
What are you doing?

392
00:30:13,879 --> 00:30:16,575
Get back in the plane!
You're gonna kill yourself!

393
00:30:17,883 --> 00:30:19,180
Hang on!

394
00:30:35,701 --> 00:30:37,293
Hang on! We're going in!

395
00:30:42,074 --> 00:30:43,200
Sorry, Max.

396
00:30:48,814 --> 00:30:51,476
Tuesday's not gonna work.
Cannot do Tuesday, I'm already...

397
00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:53,618
- Mom! Mom! Mom!
- Sean! Sean! Sean!

398
00:30:53,786 --> 00:30:55,811
See how annoying that is?

399
00:31:16,142 --> 00:31:20,033
See, this is your problem.
Some men like women more feminine!

400
00:31:20,212 --> 00:31:21,679
- I'm not feminine?
- No.

401
00:31:21,847 --> 00:31:22,973
I'm not feminine?

402
00:31:33,893 --> 00:31:35,451
Freeze!

403
00:31:35,728 --> 00:31:37,423
That was so cool.

404
00:31:38,330 --> 00:31:39,661
Max!

405
00:31:48,174 --> 00:31:49,198
Damn it to hell.

406
00:31:59,018 --> 00:32:01,145
You know, I might be more help
if you untie me!

407
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,786
There's a knife in my right front pocket!

408
00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:11,490
Stop it! Stop it!

409
00:32:11,964 --> 00:32:12,988
What?

410
00:32:14,233 --> 00:32:16,827
That's not my knife! That's not my...

411
00:32:17,369 --> 00:32:18,666
I got it!

412
00:32:25,377 --> 00:32:27,038
No, 99, don't touch that!

413
00:32:30,382 --> 00:32:31,872
Oh, my Lord.

414
00:32:53,572 --> 00:32:55,665
Yeah! The kid's still got it.

415
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:02,504
Max, hurry!

416
00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:06,346
Hold on, 99!

417
00:33:12,391 --> 00:33:16,259
Chief, we can't stop the car! We have
the football, but we do not know the code!

418
00:33:16,428 --> 00:33:17,895
We need to figure out something!

419
00:33:18,063 --> 00:33:20,896
These tracks are taking us back downtown,
towards the bomb!

420
00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:28,204
We gotta get you out of there,
and you won't survive the jump!

421
00:33:28,374 --> 00:33:29,398
I'm coming to get you!

422
00:33:54,433 --> 00:33:56,492
- Oh, God!
- Hold on, 99!

423
00:33:57,970 --> 00:34:00,768
It's not over, Max!
I'll take that briefcase!

424
00:34:00,940 --> 00:34:02,999
If you want it, you'll have to take it!

425
00:34:03,442 --> 00:34:06,969
- That's what I just said!
- I know, I'm just trying to annoy you!

426
00:34:55,728 --> 00:34:57,628
Unusual but effective.

427
00:35:05,404 --> 00:35:07,304
- You all right?
- I'm fine!

428
00:35:13,612 --> 00:35:15,045
Max!

429
00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:16,805
Max, your foot!

430
00:35:22,755 --> 00:35:25,724
- I wish we had more time!
- What?

431
00:35:46,078 --> 00:35:49,241
- Max!
- No!

432
00:36:10,102 --> 00:36:11,569
Oh, Max.

433
00:36:17,643 --> 00:36:19,133
No. No!

434
00:36:24,783 --> 00:36:27,251
I wish we had more time too.

435
00:36:29,955 --> 00:36:31,752
So you did hear me?

436
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:35,584
Max?

437
00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:41,596
But the train...

438
00:36:42,601 --> 00:36:44,796
Missed it by that much.

439
00:37:04,123 --> 00:37:06,023
"Operation Joy"?

440
00:37:07,526 --> 00:37:11,360
The "Ode to Joy" will end with a bang.

441
00:37:16,435 --> 00:37:19,598
- Chief!
- Yeah, Maxie! Are you okay?

442
00:37:19,771 --> 00:37:23,832
Listen, I think the final notes
of the "Ode to Joy" trigger the bomb!

443
00:37:24,009 --> 00:37:25,806
We have to stop the concert!

444
00:37:25,978 --> 00:37:27,275
I'm on it.

445
00:38:03,782 --> 00:38:07,343
My buttocks are really stinging
from being dragged.

446
00:38:16,595 --> 00:38:19,029
Hey, grandpa, I already told you...

447
00:38:19,765 --> 00:38:22,962
Speak up, son.
I'm an old man, you know.

448
00:38:34,213 --> 00:38:36,477
I like that tackling part.

449
00:38:40,786 --> 00:38:43,550
I am so, so sorry about that.

450
00:38:43,722 --> 00:38:45,519
Wait! No, no, let him go.

451
00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:48,584
- There is a bomb.
- Where?

452
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,752
Would you believe in the piano?

453
00:38:57,069 --> 00:38:59,435
Whoa. How did we miss that?
That is huge.

454
00:38:59,905 --> 00:39:04,399
- Max. Was that...?
- A total guess, yes, it was.

455
00:39:13,185 --> 00:39:15,676
That old son of a gun
can take a hit, huh?

456
00:39:23,028 --> 00:39:27,431
- Do you think I should tell him?
- No. Let's just savor the moment.

457
00:39:36,108 --> 00:39:38,440
He's a funny son of a bitch, isn't he?

458
00:39:39,144 --> 00:39:41,612
This is the proudest moment of my life!

459
00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:46,107
Bomb not go off.

460
00:39:46,285 --> 00:39:48,845
Oh, really, bright-eyes?
What alerted you?

461
00:39:49,021 --> 00:39:52,149
Was it no "Boom, boom," or the lack
of a mushroom cloud?

462
00:39:52,324 --> 00:39:55,020
It was the mushroom cloud for me.

463
00:39:55,994 --> 00:40:00,863
Well, you did your job,
so I suppose I can't kill your wife.

464
00:40:01,266 --> 00:40:04,861
Although to be honest,
I'd be doing the sighted world a favor.

465
00:40:13,312 --> 00:40:15,610
What good hang time, huh?

466
00:40:16,348 --> 00:40:19,579
Yes, Mr. President.
Thank you and goodbye, sir.

467
00:40:19,785 --> 00:40:23,312
86, the President wanted me
to convey his personal thanks...

468
00:40:23,488 --> 00:40:27,219
...and to tell you how impressed he was
with that dragged-by-a-train thing.

469
00:40:27,392 --> 00:40:31,488
Well, sir, as an agent, I have trained
myself to be impervious to pain.

470
00:40:32,898 --> 00:40:35,128
Ah! Hey, it's Fang.

471
00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:37,962
I wanted him to be a surprise.

472
00:40:38,136 --> 00:40:41,264
99, please, nobody here
knows that we're dating.

473
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:42,998
Yes, they do.

474
00:40:44,276 --> 00:40:45,573
On the cheek.

475
00:40:46,678 --> 00:40:48,407
- Let's go.
- Maybe a little one?

476
00:40:49,381 --> 00:40:53,283
Hey, new guy. Hold up a second.
Welcome to CONTROL.

477
00:40:53,452 --> 00:40:56,683
We have a tradition called "pick on
the new guy." Here's how it works.

478
00:40:56,855 --> 00:40:59,847
- We pick on the new guy.
- And you can't do anything about it.

479
00:41:00,025 --> 00:41:01,390
Let's try one.

480
00:41:02,227 --> 00:41:05,219
- You dropped your pencil.
- Did you hear the man?

481
00:41:05,630 --> 00:41:08,895
I don't see a man, I see two little girls.

482
00:41:09,067 --> 00:41:13,094
I think I'll call you Maureen,
and you Brittany.

483
00:41:13,271 --> 00:41:16,604
- New guy did not.
- New guy did.

484
00:41:16,775 --> 00:41:18,766
Okay, new guy...
- I got this.

485
00:41:19,244 --> 00:41:20,734
And I'm going to enjoy it.

486
00:41:20,912 --> 00:41:22,903
That will make me happy, Maureen.

487
00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:24,339
Maureen.

488
00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:27,079
Ow! What's in there?

489
00:41:27,652 --> 00:41:29,483
- And just for the record.
- What's in there?

490
00:41:31,056 --> 00:41:32,546
My name is not "new guy."

491
00:41:33,792 --> 00:41:35,157
My name is Hymie.

492
00:41:35,327 --> 00:41:37,727
Now, if you ladies will excuse me.

493
00:41:40,132 --> 00:41:41,895
This is gonna be so fun.

494
00:41:42,067 --> 00:41:43,659
Make him high-five me.

495
00:42:18,036 --> 00:42:19,264
Max, we're gonna be late.

496
00:42:23,275 --> 00:42:25,937
Oh, Max. Let Maintenance
take care of it.

497
00:42:30,081 --> 00:42:31,173
Ah!

498
00:42:31,349 --> 00:42:34,007
<i>You've gotta
be kidding me!</i>

499
00:47:12,931 --> 00:47:14,922
Subtitles by LeapinLar