1 00:00:00,623 --> 00:00:40,583 Improved By: Fidel33 Sub Upload Date: October 16, 2015 2 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:04,778 RICHARD: It's important you understand... 3 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,701 It's not you, it's me. 4 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:12,039 What we have is so special. 5 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:16,786 I love you more than I can say. 6 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,744 But I'm sorry. 7 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:22,591 Truly, Because... I fucked up. 8 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,460 Look... I owe you an explanation. 9 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:30,011 But honestly, I don't know where to begin. 10 00:01:34,554 --> 00:01:37,763 Well, Maybe there... 11 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,098 at the beginning. 12 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:43,769 You see. I grew up above a great party. 13 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:47,115 (MUSIC PLAYS) 14 00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:00,745 - (LOUD MOANING) - WOMAN: Oh, Gordon! 15 00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:01,746 YOUNG RICHARD: Mommy? 16 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,461 GORDON: She's... she's in the kitchen. 17 00:02:03,462 --> 00:02:04,749 Just what are you doing? 18 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:08,190 I'm waiting for your mother to bring out the hors d'oeuvres. Now bugger off. 19 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,554 RICHARD: After school. I used to love to listen.. 20 00:02:12,555 --> 00:02:13,594 ...to my father lecture. 21 00:02:13,595 --> 00:02:17,187 GORDON: Now the faculty would have me teach it was Wordsworth. 22 00:02:17,188 --> 00:02:21,557 Keats and Coleridge who, in writing about love. 23 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:25,062 Defined the Romantic Age. 24 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:29,231 And they've told me to ignore Byron. 25 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,906 Mad, bad, and dangerous to know was how one of his many... 26 00:02:31,907 --> 00:02:36,072 ...lovers described him. He was controversial, 27 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:40,871 Now did you know, this esteemed establishment told Byron 28 00:02:40,872 --> 00:02:42,872 that he wasn't allowed to bring his beloved dogs to college. 29 00:02:42,873 --> 00:02:44,210 So he said "screw the rules". 30 00:02:44,211 --> 00:02:46,753 He went out and he bought himself a bear. 31 00:02:46,754 --> 00:02:49,094 Brought it to class on a chained leash, 32 00:02:49,095 --> 00:02:52,338 He tied up to that very pipe just there. 33 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,969 So, you see, it was Byron who defined the Romantic Age, 34 00:02:55,970 --> 00:03:00,721 which wasn't about love. It was about going your own way. 35 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,474 Defying authority and following your heart. 36 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,194 Sticking it to the man and as many women as possible. 37 00:03:06,195 --> 00:03:09,146 Now that...that is Romantic! 38 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,692 (LAUGHTER) 39 00:03:10,693 --> 00:03:12,943 And if the faculty don't like me saying so, 40 00:03:12,944 --> 00:03:15,821 Well, they can take this job and they can shove it. 41 00:03:15,822 --> 00:03:19,490 Because like Mr. Bob Dylan, I ain't gonna work on Maggie's Farm no more! 42 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,449 (CHEERING) 43 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:24,580 RICHARD: Dad hated authority... and everyone loved him for it. 44 00:03:24,581 --> 00:03:29,585 All I wanted was to be just like him. 45 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,548 Forget the critics. 46 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,842 Let them have their opinions. 47 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:40,767 Let them publish their books and brag about them at tedious... 48 00:03:40,768 --> 00:03:45,057 ...faculty parties and let university librarians 49 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,435 file those books away. 50 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:50,688 The faculty has called this class; 51 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:55,693 "The Romantics and Literary Theory". 52 00:03:55,694 --> 00:04:00,114 I want you all to forget the second half of this sentence. 53 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:04,165 There's nothing theoretical about the Romantics. 54 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:13,755 "Where true love burns, desire is love's pure passion. 55 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:20,307 "It is the reflex of our earthly frame 56 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:25,014 "that takes its meaning from the nobler part, and but translates... 57 00:04:25,940 --> 00:04:37,194 - "the language of The heart". - KATE: Wakey, wakey, Professor Haig. 58 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:41,322 Oh. Shit. it's Saturday, isn't it'? 59 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:44,372 No, don't look like that. Are you sure about this? 60 00:04:44,373 --> 00:04:46,285 I mean, I make a terrible first impression. 61 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:51,123 Will you relax, Richard? My dad is gonna love you. 62 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:51,590 Really? 63 00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,459 Yeah. You'll have lots to talk about. 64 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,424 Yeah? Corporate Hard-nosed raider meets 65 00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:58,798 libidinous Lit professor. It's a match made in heaven. 66 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,052 I just want my dad to meet the wonderful man 67 00:05:01,053 --> 00:05:03,472 I've been dating for the last six months, 68 00:05:03,473 --> 00:05:04,264 Six months? 69 00:05:04,265 --> 00:05:05,557 Broke your record, didn't I? 70 00:05:06,558 --> 00:05:09,772 - Crazy. - "Love is begun by time. 71 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,646 and time qualifies the spark and fire of it all." 72 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:17,024 Relax. You're still very sparky, darling. 73 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:17,775 Really sparky, I mean... 74 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:22,071 Well, my Liege, I must hie me to Heathrow, thou to London' 75 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:25,323 - chimes of 6:00 sharp. - Sure, of course. 76 00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:29,578 - Sharp. - 6:00 chimes. 77 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:33,083 (MUSIC) 78 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:58,941 OLIVIA: Sal, Sal, I've got to go. Why? 79 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,866 Because we've been talking for so long. 80 00:06:01,867 --> 00:06:05,833 I've lost track of time. Space and myself. 81 00:06:06,201 --> 00:06:09,496 SAL: Hello, hello, Olivia? 82 00:06:09,497 --> 00:06:12,166 - DOORMAN: Not to worry. Madam. - I'll call maintenance. 83 00:06:12,167 --> 00:06:13,539 We'll fish it out later. 84 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,338 SAL: Are you there'? Can you hear me? 85 00:06:15,339 --> 00:06:18,462 - Please don't. - Hello? 86 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,722 Olivia? 87 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:31,354 (CELL PHONE VIBRATES) 88 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,609 Aúpa! There you go. 89 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:45,240 Are they fishing your phone out of the drain? 90 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:50,910 OLIVIA: No, I told them not to. 91 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,871 I am cutting myself off from the world. 92 00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:57,752 Footloose, fancy-free. 93 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:02,594 Won't That be lonely'? An island unto yourself? 94 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:05,891 - No. - Madame? 95 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,551 Can I have a glass of red wine, please? 96 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,348 BARTENDER: Yes, madame. 97 00:07:08,349 --> 00:07:14,023 No, I would populate the island with all new people. 98 00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:16,769 People that I actually like. 99 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:21,614 Yes, but then things change. The people you thought you'd like... 100 00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:24,692 turn out to be as bad as the people you left behind. 101 00:07:24,693 --> 00:07:27,493 Soon you're moving to another island and so it goes on, 102 00:07:27,494 --> 00:07:29,239 ad infinitum. 103 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,783 You know my solution? 104 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,583 Get along with everyone. 105 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,411 Really? 106 00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:40,920 Then why are you here alone in a hotel bar on a Saturday night? 107 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,048 Well, I certainly wouldn't keep you waiting. 108 00:07:44,049 --> 00:07:49,801 Exactly. Because you never know what kind of... 109 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:52,602 handsome stranger I might start talking to. 110 00:07:56,643 --> 00:08:00,729 "I do desire we become better strangers." 111 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,698 Pulling out the Shakespeare. 112 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,734 Is that line successful for you normally? 113 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,280 I had my moments with it. 114 00:08:07,281 --> 00:08:09,201 You know? Comme ci. Cumme ca. 115 00:08:09,202 --> 00:08:12,952 DOORMAN: Excuse me, sir. Ma'am. 116 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,619 Oh. 117 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:19,289 Thank you. You're so kind. 118 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,750 There you go. Back on the grid. 119 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:25,671 Why is that the most helpful people are always around 120 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,386 when you do not want any help? 121 00:08:27,387 --> 00:08:31,182 Yeah, well, give him a minute. He'll be back with a shoemaker. 122 00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:36,056 On the other hand, it's nice to be looked after... 123 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,352 - ..every now and then. - Mm-hm. 124 00:08:37,353 --> 00:08:41,071 The other day, I found myself opening a door for a man. 125 00:08:41,072 --> 00:08:43,397 What happened to chivalry? 126 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:46,567 You know why guys open doors for women? 127 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:46,989 No. 128 00:08:46,990 --> 00:08:49,156 So we can check out your asses as you walk by. 129 00:08:49,157 --> 00:08:52,328 Well, You're just full of all these amazing insights. Aren't you? 130 00:08:52,329 --> 00:08:56,999 I can tell within one minute of meeting someone... 131 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,124 if I want to be with them. 132 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,666 How about me? 133 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,591 Do you want to be with me? 134 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,761 Yes. 135 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,893 For one more minute. 136 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,856 Okay. 137 00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:19,226 You've got a minute. 138 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,688 What are you gonna do with it? 139 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,985 KATE: Olivia? Oh, my god! Hi! 140 00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:32,330 What are you doing here? 141 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:36,784 I... I was in Dublin in... in the book festival. 142 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,500 And Dad called me and told me that you were coming, 143 00:09:39,501 --> 00:09:43,215 that he was meeting you here and that I should come and surprise you. Surprise! 144 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,209 He flaked on us, didn't he? 145 00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,418 KATE: Yes. 146 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,514 So how did you two make the connection? Hi. 147 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,560 You're the famous Olivia? 148 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,395 My beautiful sister, Olivia' 149 00:09:56,396 --> 00:10:00,390 Olivia, my gorgeous Englishman, Richard Haig. 150 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:03,395 - Thank you. - You look great. 151 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,948 KATE: So, me, my dad and my mom are staying at this hotel 152 00:10:06,949 --> 00:10:09,568 that we always stay at, And my dad keeps running off. 153 00:10:09,569 --> 00:10:12,739 Saying he has meetings or appointments or whatever. 154 00:10:12,740 --> 00:10:16,583 And finally my Mom gets fed up. And she decides to tail him... 155 00:10:16,584 --> 00:10:19,493 ...one day, to one of his "meetings". 156 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:22,246 Ends up following him to the other end of the beach. 157 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:26,502 Where Livvy is staying with her mom... 158 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:30,379 And all hell breaks loose. 159 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,595 Our dad is leading a double life. 160 00:10:32,596 --> 00:10:35,309 Like raising two families at the same time. 161 00:10:35,310 --> 00:10:37,261 What a naughty boy. 162 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,481 KATE: Right? Crazy. 163 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:47,062 Anyway, I take Kate to the beach. I'm sitting there and I'm 164 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:51,775 trying to process everything. You know? What my father did. 165 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,068 My poor Mom. 166 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,741 And the fact that I have this little, lovely sister. 167 00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:59,708 For me, I mean, I was stoked. I always wanted a big sister. 168 00:10:59,453 --> 00:11:04,457 And I decide the only way we can protect each other from this craziness 169 00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:09,668 is if Kate and I make a pact, no secrets. 170 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,295 Absolute honesty. 171 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:15,799 From this day forward. We would tell each other everything. 172 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:16,221 Hmm. 173 00:11:16,222 --> 00:11:18,135 No matter what, always. 174 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:22,266 KATE: And we have. And we're, like, best friends. 175 00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:27,149 So, Livvy. How is your Alan? 176 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,439 What? 177 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,481 Ah. 178 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:34,577 Please, tell us about Alan. 179 00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,070 He's great. 180 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:40,532 KATE: Livvy's Alan is the Alan Sloan, you know, 181 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,705 - the romance writer? - Really? 182 00:11:41,706 --> 00:11:43,999 And Livvy edits his books and they're totally in love, 183 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,789 Madly and totally in love with a romance writer? 184 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:48,790 That sounds fascinating. 185 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:53,003 Well. No more than the Romantics professor's passion 186 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:54,796 for his students, surely. 187 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,673 - Oh. - Livvy. Be nice. 188 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:57,262 Yes, Kate. 189 00:11:57,263 --> 00:11:59,805 Would either of you like a little taste of my steak? 190 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:00,928 KATE: No, thanks. 191 00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,023 It's very tender. 192 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,018 You're unbelievable, aren't you'? 193 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:08,440 I'm sorry? 194 00:12:08,441 --> 00:12:12,189 Of course, on the verge of graduating, going home. 195 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,066 She's the perfect catch for you, isn't she? 196 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,694 - Hey! - I get it. I get it. 197 00:12:15,695 --> 00:12:20,699 He's hot and funny and smart and he's got the suave accent! 198 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:27,204 But all I see is a Lothario with an eternally wandering eye 199 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:30,540 who simply charmed the pants off you. Literally. 200 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:31,917 Livvy, what are you doing? 201 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:36,880 Kate, I know. This feels like love, but no. No. No, No. 202 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,258 This is not love. This is a fling! 203 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,724 How do you know? What are you even saying? 204 00:12:42,725 --> 00:12:46,563 Obviously, you are looking for for a father figure, but in our case. 205 00:12:46,564 --> 00:12:52,392 it means a self-centered, cheating womanizer who's not to be trusted. 206 00:12:52,393 --> 00:12:54,895 And you're just so young, you can't see it. 207 00:12:54,898 --> 00:12:56,742 Really? How young were you when you ran off with Anwar, huh'? 208 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:59,945 - We thought I was pregnant! - Well, I am. 209 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,072 - What? - What? 210 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,417 I... I wanted to tell you earlier. But... 211 00:13:04,418 --> 00:13:07,037 Pregnant, with a... with a baby? 212 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,789 Yeah. I wanted to tell you another way. 213 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,416 But this is like so weird. I just... 214 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,717 No, this is the perfect way. This is really the perfect way. I think. 215 00:13:16,718 --> 00:13:20,718 You know what? This is great. Really great. 216 00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:26,385 - Well, that was so heartfelt. - Livvy, Livvy. 217 00:13:26,386 --> 00:13:28,062 Thank you so much for supper. 218 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,394 Remind me never to do this again. 219 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:33,812 I'm just gonna go outside and get some fresh air. 220 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,861 - What do you mean? - Excuse me. Air. 221 00:13:35,862 --> 00:13:37,607 - Yeah. Run. - What? 222 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,276 - Richard? - Yeah? 223 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,616 - Richard! Look. - Yeah! I'm here. 224 00:13:41,617 --> 00:13:42,955 I know I just dropped a bomb on you back there, 225 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:46,992 So. Right here, right now. I'm giving you the out. 226 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,538 I just want some air. That's all. 227 00:13:48,539 --> 00:13:50,129 You just need some time to think. 228 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:53,421 It's... it's fine. I get it, 229 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:57,461 So, I'm moving to L.A. 230 00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:57,961 Oh. 231 00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:00,884 I got a really cool job at a venture capital firm. 232 00:14:00,885 --> 00:14:02,509 You're full of surprises today. 233 00:14:02,510 --> 00:14:06,138 You'll love L.A. It'll be like Cambridge-ish, but with 234 00:14:06,139 --> 00:14:11,268 a lot of palm trees and like. Chicks with tans and stuff. 235 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:14,820 Oh, honey, you're all clammy. 236 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,522 Really. I just need some air. That's all really. 237 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:18,023 Okay. 238 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:21,870 Yeah, okay. I'll be back in there, go ahead. You go. 239 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:23,987 - Richard. - Yeah? 240 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,365 You're going to be a great father. 241 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,415 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 242 00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:40,631 Did you have a good dinner then, sir? 243 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,846 (VOMITS) 244 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,816 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 245 00:14:56,312 --> 00:15:00,023 GORDON: All right, where the buggering hell have you been? 246 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,358 I said 6:00. 247 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,531 Sorry about that, Dad. 248 00:15:02,532 --> 00:15:06,782 Didn't realize your grumbling ran on such a tight schedule. 249 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:10,748 Bloody miserable out there as usual. 250 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,665 Agh, agh, agh, don't touch that! 251 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,668 Oh, good god. Dad, I'm not five-years-old. 252 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,216 JOAN: Hi, Richard, dear. 253 00:15:21,217 --> 00:15:23,046 Hello, Joan. 254 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:23,764 How is everything'? 255 00:15:23,765 --> 00:15:27,134 Oh, just terrific. Thanks for asking. 256 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:30,846 You still boffing the Yank totty, are you? 257 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,432 Yes, she's a great girl. 258 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,852 Bright, beautiful, ambitious. 259 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,151 You mean, a horrible little upstart, 260 00:15:39,152 --> 00:15:41,022 determined to 'go places'. 261 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:45,235 So tell me, when are you going to start going places? 262 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,988 Oh, good god, please don't start with this again, Dad! 263 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,532 GORDON: Oh Come on, Jesus, Come on when I was your age. I mean I'd been 264 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,251 the head of the department for seven years! 265 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,915 Yeah, and it made you so happy, didn't it, Dad? 266 00:15:54,916 --> 00:15:57,414 All right, what's the grievance today'? 267 00:15:57,415 --> 00:16:01,668 Split infinitive, too many used? Too many women with jobs? 268 00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,295 It's his waterworks. 269 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,799 He's got to go back into hospital next week. 270 00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:16,434 - Stop talking about my cock, woman. - Tell me something, Dad. 271 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,772 Why did you and Mom get married? 272 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:23,773 Now, what kind of an 273 00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:26,196 inane question is that for a Thursday evening? 274 00:16:26,197 --> 00:16:29,164 For a man who revels in reckless promiscuity. 275 00:16:29,165 --> 00:16:33,285 Your four marriages do beg some questions. 276 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:36,411 Your mother fed me regularly. 277 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,873 She pleasured me half decently now and then. 278 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,875 What more could a man want? 279 00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:44,002 Oh, I don't know, friendship? 280 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:48,298 Someone to see the world with, have a laugh with. 281 00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:51,769 Maybe even start a family with. 282 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,763 Good God, man. 283 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:59,309 You've fallen for that little slice of American pie. 284 00:16:59,310 --> 00:16:59,809 Dad. 285 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,937 Now you listen to me. This might be the most important 286 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:05,863 bit of advice that I ever give you. 287 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:10,153 American women may be fun and Victoria's Secret when you 288 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:13,829 first bed them. But as soon as they get their claws into you. 289 00:17:13,830 --> 00:17:16,326 They stop fucking and start eating. 290 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:20,539 And the only ass you're gonna get is a fat one! 291 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,540 Why did I open my mouth? 292 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:26,169 American women invariably become spouters of self-help 293 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:30,882 platitudes, they're addicted to designer labels, dieting and frozen yogurt. 294 00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:40,272 - Overall, thoroughly nasty, selfish, vain creatures - That don't fuck. 295 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:44,648 Thank you for your fatherly advice. 296 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,404 Good night, Joan! 297 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,860 GORDON: Bugger off, then! 298 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,831 See if I care! 299 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,914 Kate! Kate! 300 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,584 Screw Cambridge! I'm in. 301 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,836 - Really? - Really. 302 00:18:07,589 --> 00:18:10,263 - Really? - Yes, come on.! 303 00:18:12,264 --> 00:18:16,386 Up and away we set off 304 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:20,456 Secretly scared we'd get lost 305 00:18:21,457 --> 00:18:25,562 Up in the clouds over the town 306 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,622 Beyond the wall 307 00:18:29,721 --> 00:18:33,812 Some of us knew we might fall 308 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:37,900 Under the weight of it all 309 00:18:37,901 --> 00:18:41,124 And though we'd been warned of the oncoming storms 310 00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:44,212 Still we stood tall 311 00:18:45,126 --> 00:18:49,201 So from the moonlight 312 00:18:49,202 --> 00:18:53,205 Straight to the sunrise 313 00:18:53,206 --> 00:18:57,365 This will be our time 314 00:18:57,126 --> 00:19:01,201 Free-falling nosedive 315 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,566 Look into the world, Jakey. 316 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,821 It's a beautiful world. 317 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:15,945 Ooh. 318 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:19,824 Do you need the booby now'? Do you want the booby? 319 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:23,580 Yes, There's a boy after my own heart. 320 00:19:26,825 --> 00:19:30,580 The whole world in our sights 321 00:19:30,825 --> 00:19:34,580 Like a miniature paradise... 322 00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:42,975 Okay, family. Here we go. 323 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,359 Here you are. Jakey. Welcome home, 324 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:48,770 A modest 'little house' which your granddad bought your 325 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:52,065 mom out of guilt. Don't fall in the pool' 326 00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:52,691 KATE: I won't. 327 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,194 You probably will never meet anyway. 328 00:19:54,195 --> 00:19:57,529 He has a very bad habit of never showing up' 329 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:58,998 KATE: Hey. 330 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:02,001 All right. 331 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:09,791 Oh, I'm gonna call Livvy. Can you take the baby'? 332 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,626 - Sure. - Okay. 333 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,550 Okay. 334 00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:49,374 I know it's easier to read the critics and the CliffNotes. 335 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,958 But forget about them. 336 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:55,920 Read the poems, Put the time in. 337 00:20:55,921 --> 00:21:01,473 After all, "Nothing will come of nothing". 338 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,939 What was that from? Hm? 339 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,314 (CAMERA CLICKS) 340 00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:12,196 Anyone? 341 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:13,447 Hey, there you go! 342 00:21:13,448 --> 00:21:15,612 DARYL: Yeah. I'm having trouble getting on the Wi-Fi. 343 00:21:15,613 --> 00:21:18,202 What's the password again? 344 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:20,528 I think they're all on Prozac. 345 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:23,123 ANGELA: Did you hear from the university yet? 346 00:21:23,124 --> 00:21:26,117 Um, no, they went with the other guy. 347 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,665 ANGELA: I told you to kiss ass more. 348 00:21:28,666 --> 00:21:29,332 Angela, please. 349 00:21:29,333 --> 00:21:32,174 Well, I'm sure something will open up soon at ULA, 350 00:21:32,233 --> 00:21:34,174 Yeah, well, one can only hope, can't one? 351 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:36,006 In the meantime, I'm glad that you're still 352 00:21:36,007 --> 00:21:37,423 slumming it here with us. 353 00:21:37,424 --> 00:21:39,968 You city college lot don't pull any punches, do you? 354 00:21:39,969 --> 00:21:42,138 We will go 16 rounds with anyone. 355 00:21:42,139 --> 00:21:43,635 Bring it on. 356 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:47,140 (MUSIC) 357 00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:56,240 (LOUD CAR HORN) 358 00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:59,911 Assehole. 359 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,945 JAKE: Asshole. 360 00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:05,114 Never let me hear you say that word, Jake. 361 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:08,284 The word is "ahh's-hole" not "aah's-hole." 362 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,828 Can you say "ahh's-hole?" 363 00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:13,424 - Asshole. - Yes, elongate the A. 364 00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,458 There we go. 365 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:17,919 I'll get them. I'll get them. 366 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,593 Oh, where... 367 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:21,464 Mama. 368 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:24,139 No, Mama is at work. 369 00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:26,511 She'll be back later. 370 00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:28,105 Mama. 371 00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:34,520 No, that's Hummer. 372 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,312 Hummer. 373 00:22:36,313 --> 00:22:37,777 Hah, well done. Hummer. 374 00:22:37,778 --> 00:22:39,819 - KATE: Pull over, - BRIAN: What? 375 00:22:39,820 --> 00:22:42,071 - Pull over! Listen to this voice-mail. - I can't pull over. 376 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,208 RICHARD: I thought he was saying Mama, and then I realized 377 00:22:47,209 --> 00:22:50,497 he was pointing at one of those absurdly oversized tanks 378 00:22:50,498 --> 00:22:53,541 driven no doubt by some idiot with an absurdly 379 00:22:53,542 --> 00:22:55,166 undersized penis. Jake... 380 00:22:55,167 --> 00:22:57,918 - BRIAN: This is not an oversized car. - All right. 381 00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:00,136 KATE: He knows. 382 00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:08,515 Hey there, sexy. Where are you? 383 00:23:08,516 --> 00:23:10,138 - I'm in New York. - Oh... 384 00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:11,766 ALAN: Honey, do I look chunky? 385 00:23:11,767 --> 00:23:15,144 Didn't mean to call you sexy. Wrong person. 386 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:18,021 No, I look good. 387 00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:20,193 OLIVIA: Hah-hah, very funny. Is Kate there? 388 00:23:20,194 --> 00:23:23,568 She's not back yet. Still banking. Busy counting things. 389 00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:26,241 Well. Tell her to call me right, right away. 390 00:23:26,242 --> 00:23:28,582 Because I have something really big to tell her. 391 00:23:28,583 --> 00:23:31,534 Well, no secrets in the family, pray tell? 392 00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:33,879 I can't believe that I'm about to tell you... 393 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,916 KATE: Richard. I don't know why this is so hard for me. 394 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:41,544 I've been trying to tell you now for weeks. 395 00:23:41,545 --> 00:23:43,468 - Alan's asked me to marry him. - I'm in love with sombody else. 396 00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:48,217 You're what? 397 00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:49,093 We're getting married! 398 00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:52,143 Don't act so surprised that somebody asked me. 399 00:23:52,144 --> 00:23:53,723 - Are you on the phone? - Who... who is it'? 400 00:23:53,724 --> 00:23:54,896 Who are you talking to? 401 00:23:54,897 --> 00:23:57,393 Answer the question! Who is it'? 402 00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:58,311 I just did! 403 00:23:58,312 --> 00:24:00,155 Who's on the phone? 404 00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:02,360 - Hello? - Kate! Kate! 405 00:24:02,361 --> 00:24:04,359 I have to call you back! (DISCONNECTS) 406 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:05,818 What? Hello? 407 00:24:05,819 --> 00:24:09,739 I was just. I mean. I was really young. Okay? 408 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,909 Really young. Not that you're not, of course. 409 00:24:12,910 --> 00:24:16,251 But I really thought that I loved you, but clearly I was 410 00:24:16,252 --> 00:24:19,749 working through Daddy issues. And then I got pregnant, 411 00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:22,629 and you were just trying to do the right thing. 412 00:24:22,630 --> 00:24:26,178 And you've always been a really good father, but let's face it, 413 00:24:26,179 --> 00:24:29,634 you never really loved me. But Brian does. 414 00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:33,638 Brian? Brian? That little idiot from the office? 415 00:24:33,639 --> 00:24:37,976 He likes to talk to me about start ups and acquisitions 416 00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:38,773 and exit strategies. 417 00:24:38,774 --> 00:24:42,360 I mean. All the stuff that you think is so boring about me. 418 00:24:42,361 --> 00:24:43,448 It is boring! God! 419 00:24:43,449 --> 00:24:47,944 Why do you have to be so goddamn English! Talk to me! 420 00:24:47,945 --> 00:24:52,872 You can leave me. But I am not leaving that boy. 421 00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:54,826 Brian. 422 00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:59,378 Richard, why can't you just talk to me? 423 00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:14,095 Now. I know two years in the pool house makes me look 424 00:25:14,096 --> 00:25:16,060 a little nut but I'll say two things. 425 00:25:16,061 --> 00:25:19,811 First, your Mom and Brian hated me being there, which was 426 00:25:19,812 --> 00:25:24,236 the most wonderful incentive to stay. And secondly... 427 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:28,403 I wanted to be close to you. 428 00:25:28,819 --> 00:25:31,493 MISTY: Good morning! 429 00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:35,375 I think you're going to want to see this. 430 00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:36,117 Oh, Let me see it. 431 00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:39,037 Is the Big Bad Professor awake yet'? 432 00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:40,711 JAKE: Jake to Dad! Breaker, breaker! 433 00:25:40,712 --> 00:25:43,875 You got your ears on? Um-okay... 434 00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:46,004 - Are you awake? - It's Jakey, just a second. 435 00:25:46,005 --> 00:25:50,214 Get up. Are you having a sleepover? 436 00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:54,343 Hi, Jakey! Good morning! Where are you? 437 00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:55,970 Can I come and play? 438 00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:58,056 Just a second, Jakey! 439 00:25:58,057 --> 00:25:59,400 - Hey. - Hi. 440 00:25:59,401 --> 00:26:03,186 Would you mind just skedaddling for now'? It's my son, 441 00:26:03,187 --> 00:26:06,522 Your son'? I love kids! I babysit! 442 00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:08,941 Sorry about this. The perils of parenthood. 443 00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:09,657 It's okay, it's okay. 444 00:26:09,658 --> 00:26:11,898 - Come and see me during the week. - When? 445 00:26:11,904 --> 00:26:14,702 - Make it a Surprise. - Oh! I love surprises, Okay, I will. 446 00:26:14,703 --> 00:26:16,491 Okay. Good-bye. (SLAP) Whoo! 447 00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:18,914 - Who's that? - What? Oh, just a friend of mine 448 00:26:18,915 --> 00:26:22,632 Very busy lady. She had to leave. There you go. 449 00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:24,749 Aren't these uncomfortable? 450 00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:26,626 That's why girls love it when you take them off. 451 00:26:26,627 --> 00:26:28,300 Come on, let's get some pancakes. 452 00:26:28,301 --> 00:26:30,463 Dad. Get on with it. 453 00:26:30,464 --> 00:26:33,263 So, there we were. 454 00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:39,815 And then, last week, everything went pear-shaped. 455 00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:43,603 MISTY: I have the papers you asked for. 456 00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,562 Will that be all, Professor? 457 00:26:46,563 --> 00:26:49,612 For now. Yes, thanks. 458 00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:53,738 Great. 459 00:26:54,404 --> 00:26:56,281 ANGELA: Excuse me. 460 00:26:56,782 --> 00:26:58,997 Newest member of the TA of the Month Club? 461 00:26:58,998 --> 00:27:01,461 How dare you insinuate such a thing. 462 00:27:01,462 --> 00:27:03,955 You have a visitor, Be nice. 463 00:27:03,956 --> 00:27:06,050 Send them in. 464 00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:07,964 PICKARD: Thank you, 465 00:27:11,004 --> 00:27:13,219 Professor Pickard, what a delight! 466 00:27:13,220 --> 00:27:14,510 How's your father these days? 467 00:27:14,511 --> 00:27:16,929 Loving life. He is Happy as a clam. 468 00:27:16,930 --> 00:27:19,142 That's good to hear. Well. I received your.. 469 00:27:19,143 --> 00:27:21,516 ..application for the position at the University' 470 00:27:21,517 --> 00:27:23,768 I was in the area, so I thought I would just pop by 471 00:27:23,769 --> 00:27:26,936 and invite you to a soirée I'm giving tomorrow. 472 00:27:26,937 --> 00:27:29,437 - Splendid. - The faculty will be there, of course. 473 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:31,485 I thought it might be a good idea if you do come by and 474 00:27:31,486 --> 00:27:34,235 just sort of butter them up. Not me, by the way. 475 00:27:34,236 --> 00:27:38,614 - I consider myself lavishly buttered. - Oh, Well that's good to know. 476 00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:39,244 So we'll see you there'? 477 00:27:39,245 --> 00:27:41,664 Wouldn't miss it for the world. 478 00:27:41,952 --> 00:27:45,422 ALAN: "Dustin Kalarney" just sold its 5 millionth copy. 479 00:27:45,423 --> 00:27:46,956 You're unbelievable! 480 00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:47,582 ALAN: What? 481 00:27:47,583 --> 00:27:50,423 Here I am splayed out like an open-faced sandwich 482 00:27:50,424 --> 00:27:53,593 so we can have a baby. And all you care about... 483 00:27:53,594 --> 00:27:54,964 NURSE: Mr. Sloan? 484 00:27:54,965 --> 00:27:55,466 ALAN: Um. 485 00:27:55,467 --> 00:27:58,264 NURSE: Would you mind signing a copy of your book for me? 486 00:27:58,265 --> 00:28:00,511 Of course. Did you like it'? 487 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,013 Are you kidding? It was great. 488 00:28:02,014 --> 00:28:05,808 Really? Is that Desiree with two E's or one E? 489 00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:08,858 Ow! What the hell was that for? 490 00:28:08,979 --> 00:28:13,109 Oops, it slipped. Can I have my phone back, please? 491 00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:16,574 There you go. You can do it, just concentrate. 492 00:28:16,575 --> 00:28:19,197 Nice big swing. That's it, 493 00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:20,239 Dad, I suck. 494 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,538 No. You don't, you don't. You look great, just... 495 00:28:22,539 --> 00:28:25,828 BRIAN: Oh, who's here! Jakey, what up, dawg? 496 00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:29,040 Yo, give me some love, Blow it up. Blow it up. 497 00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:29,999 JAKE: Jellyfish sting! 498 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,000 BRIAN: Jellyfish sting! 499 00:28:31,001 --> 00:28:34,217 Lots of Love. Now we were just playing a little ball here. 500 00:28:34,218 --> 00:28:35,884 Oh, right, right. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. 501 00:28:35,885 --> 00:28:36,464 That's all right, Okay. 502 00:28:36,465 --> 00:28:37,635 Hey, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa! What are you doing? 503 00:28:37,636 --> 00:28:39,053 What are you doing? Dude, you're a righty. You gotta 504 00:28:39,054 --> 00:28:40,849 switch your hands around. Come around there. 505 00:28:40,850 --> 00:28:41,388 Go ahead. 506 00:28:41,389 --> 00:28:43,601 - Bat up. - Keep your eye on the ball. Hit it to Dad! 507 00:28:43,602 --> 00:28:44,141 Owwww!!! 508 00:28:44,142 --> 00:28:45,640 - Sorry. Dad! - It's okay! Agh! 509 00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:47,518 Are you okay? Are you okay? 510 00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:49,190 I'm okay, son. I'm all right. 511 00:28:49,191 --> 00:28:51,562 It's just an occupational hazard' 512 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:53,439 BRIAN: Yeah. That looks pretty bad. 513 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:57,943 No, this? It's okay. Jakey! 514 00:28:57,903 --> 00:28:58,699 - Hey! - Hey. 515 00:28:58,700 --> 00:29:02,365 - Did you remember Atlanta? - Yeah, No. Atlanta? 516 00:29:02,366 --> 00:29:05,034 - Brian and I, four days. Conference. - Got it. 517 00:29:05,035 --> 00:29:06,452 We leave the day after tomorrow? 518 00:29:06,453 --> 00:29:07,705 Good, sounds good. I'll be there. 519 00:29:07,706 --> 00:29:10,039 - Well, no, you'll be here. - I'll be here, but... 520 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,713 - Yeah. Here's Jakey's schedule. - Great! 521 00:29:11,714 --> 00:29:14,335 I left a copy in your room, and another one on the fridge. 522 00:29:14,336 --> 00:29:15,053 All right, that's good. 523 00:29:15,054 --> 00:29:17,639 - So. Um, yeah. - All right, I'm on it. 524 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,384 - Okay. - Jawoh!, mein Fuhrer. 525 00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:22,307 Okay. 526 00:29:22,678 --> 00:29:26,806 No, I understand. But I strongly believe that three 527 00:29:26,807 --> 00:29:30,186 slaves is enough. It's enough' Come on. 528 00:29:37,943 --> 00:29:39,485 (LOUD MOANING) 529 00:29:39,486 --> 00:29:41,033 You! 530 00:29:45,909 --> 00:29:48,037 Dr. Collins! 531 00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:53,293 You miserable son of a bitch! 532 00:29:55,252 --> 00:29:57,346 (KNOCKS ON DOOR) 533 00:29:58,046 --> 00:29:59,923 RICHARD: Yeah! 534 00:30:00,299 --> 00:30:02,677 Jesus. 535 00:30:04,261 --> 00:30:06,059 Come in. 536 00:30:06,263 --> 00:30:07,602 Shouldn't you be at work? 537 00:30:07,603 --> 00:30:08,931 Yeah, covering the Asian markets. 538 00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,933 Oh, hey, by the way. I can get you in on a pretty 539 00:30:10,934 --> 00:30:13,274 sweet no-load. These guys are killing it right now. 540 00:30:13,275 --> 00:30:15,360 I can get you 15%, 18%. You just say the word. 541 00:30:15,361 --> 00:30:17,982 The word is no. What is it you want'? I'm busy. 542 00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:19,951 This letter came for you, it's about your green card. 543 00:30:19,952 --> 00:30:22,445 I'm sorry, bro, I opened it before I saw who it was addressed to. 544 00:30:22,446 --> 00:30:23,286 Just read it, Brian. Thank you. 545 00:30:23,287 --> 00:30:24,575 I mean, you've opened it. Just read it. 546 00:30:24,576 --> 00:30:25,790 All right. "This is your final warning. 547 00:30:25,791 --> 00:30:28,877 "If you and your spouse fail to attend your interview next week, 548 00:30:28,878 --> 00:30:32,419 deportation proceedings will be initiated." 549 00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:35,918 Blimey, mate. 550 00:30:35,919 --> 00:30:39,717 Looks like you could be in a spot of bother with the bobbies! 551 00:30:40,047 --> 00:30:41,843 Keep working on the accent, Brian. 552 00:30:41,844 --> 00:30:43,638 Close the door on the way out. 553 00:30:43,639 --> 00:30:45,968 - Cheerio! - Shut up! 554 00:30:45,969 --> 00:30:49,847 I love the dentist, I'm not drooling am I'? 555 00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:52,019 ASSISTANT: Hello, Mr. Haig. Thank you. 556 00:30:52,020 --> 00:30:55,565 You can't Drink alcohol when taking this medication. 557 00:30:55,566 --> 00:30:56,687 - Really? - Yes. 558 00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:57,401 - No? - No. 559 00:30:57,402 --> 00:31:00,149 Absolutely not. Wouldn't dream of it. Thank you so much. 560 00:31:00,150 --> 00:31:01,364 - No alcohol. - Good. 561 00:31:01,365 --> 00:31:03,281 - We'll see you soon. - Can't wait' 562 00:31:03,282 --> 00:31:05,780 Look forward to it. Thank you so much. 563 00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:07,658 - No alcohol. - No alcohol. 564 00:31:07,659 --> 00:31:10,126 - I mean it. - I mean it, too. 565 00:31:16,124 --> 00:31:17,091 Okay, let's go this way. 566 00:31:17,092 --> 00:31:21,337 Anytime you feel like it, jump in and lavish me with praise. 567 00:31:21,338 --> 00:31:22,797 ANGELA: Copy that. 568 00:31:22,798 --> 00:31:25,345 - So glad you could make it. - Oh, thank you. 569 00:31:25,346 --> 00:31:27,513 - Here you are. - Thanks, wonderful. 570 00:31:27,514 --> 00:31:29,225 Please, help yourself to refreshments. 571 00:31:29,226 --> 00:31:31,315 My wife made her famous cheese balls. 572 00:31:31,316 --> 00:31:35,309 Please be sure to try one and compliment her accordingly. 573 00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,859 Will do. Mm. 574 00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:41,193 There are some very, very important people here. 575 00:31:41,194 --> 00:31:42,864 I'd like you to meet them, Mm. 576 00:31:42,865 --> 00:31:46,195 And they are your kind of people, Richard. 577 00:31:46,196 --> 00:31:47,823 Come this way. 578 00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:53,702 My dear colleagues. This is Richard Haig. 579 00:31:53,703 --> 00:31:56,923 This is Professor Vale, Bates, Berg, 580 00:31:56,924 --> 00:31:59,634 - Ang and Professor Jones. - Hello. 581 00:32:02,379 --> 00:32:06,173 Can we do that again? I forgot your names already. 582 00:32:06,174 --> 00:32:06,757 (LAUGHS) 583 00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:09,223 JONES: It is a damn shame we didn't hire you. What was it. 584 00:32:09,224 --> 00:32:09,936 Three years ago? 585 00:32:09,937 --> 00:32:13,889 Three years, two months and 17 days. But who's counting? 586 00:32:14,890 --> 00:32:16,058 - You know, I met your father once. - Oh, yeah? 587 00:32:16,059 --> 00:32:19,029 He delivered a fascinating lecture, a retort to Terry Hearts. 588 00:32:19,030 --> 00:32:24,026 a hermeneutical reading of Milton's "Paradise Lost". 589 00:32:24,109 --> 00:32:24,984 Wish I'd been there for that one? 590 00:32:24,985 --> 00:32:28,827 Where are you from in England? And are you a Rich or a Dick? 591 00:32:28,828 --> 00:32:29,447 I'm a Richard. 592 00:32:31,074 --> 00:32:34,078 - Your father took a structural stance... - You know. The missus and I. We love it over there. 593 00:32:34,079 --> 00:32:35,916 - We go every summer. - You do? Great. 594 00:32:35,917 --> 00:32:37,746 (ACCENT) Cheers again, matey! (LAUGHS) 595 00:32:37,747 --> 00:32:39,748 Richard, I want to let you know that these 596 00:32:39,749 --> 00:32:43,586 fervent minds here have taken great care looking over your 597 00:32:43,587 --> 00:32:44,258 application materials, 598 00:32:44,259 --> 00:32:48,257 Never trust an Englishman who doesn't drink, Richie Boy! 599 00:32:48,258 --> 00:32:49,760 - Syllabus... - On an epistemological level. 600 00:32:49,761 --> 00:32:51,135 Academics, Yup-Yup-Yup-Yup- 601 00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:53,432 PICKARD: I do have one small question for you, however-. 602 00:32:53,433 --> 00:32:55,113 This one is the biggest yapper of them all. 603 00:32:55,433 --> 00:32:59,113 How are the Romantics relevant to today's students? 604 00:33:02,731 --> 00:33:04,732 You want me to answer this question now? 605 00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:07,156 I'm sure we'd all enjoy hearing just a taste of 606 00:33:07,157 --> 00:33:09,154 one of your lectures. 607 00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:10,154 A taste? 608 00:33:10,155 --> 00:33:11,906 A mere amuse-bouche, is all. 609 00:33:11,907 --> 00:33:13,452 Why not the whole meal? 610 00:33:13,453 --> 00:33:15,326 Why don't you come down and see me in action? 611 00:33:15,327 --> 00:33:17,248 You know, I happen to be free on Thursday. 612 00:33:17,249 --> 00:33:18,337 Christ, what about that? 613 00:33:18,338 --> 00:33:21,083 I see you've already met my wife. 614 00:33:22,292 --> 00:33:24,135 (CHUCKLES) 615 00:33:24,544 --> 00:33:26,545 I'm just going to go outside for a moment here. 616 00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:27,760 And just jump in front of a bus. 617 00:33:27,761 --> 00:33:30,851 ANGELA: Where are you going? You didn't even say goodbye. 618 00:33:30,852 --> 00:33:32,719 That's true. 619 00:33:33,803 --> 00:33:35,679 Bye! 620 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,433 I wonder if he was flirting with me? 621 00:33:38,642 --> 00:33:40,644 Oh, my god! 622 00:33:43,980 --> 00:33:46,904 (CRASH) Oh, shit! 623 00:33:49,653 --> 00:33:51,655 Oh, bollocks! 624 00:34:07,671 --> 00:34:09,469 (SIREN) 625 00:34:12,342 --> 00:34:14,677 Shit. Good evening, Officer. 626 00:34:14,678 --> 00:34:17,096 Oh, boy, have I been drinking? 627 00:34:17,097 --> 00:34:18,064 (LAUGHS) Oops. 628 00:34:18,065 --> 00:34:20,349 I drink every night. (LAUGHS) 629 00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:21,602 How about you. Oohh!! 630 00:34:21,603 --> 00:34:24,650 Can't we all just get along? 631 00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:38,331 Thanks. 632 00:34:40,370 --> 00:34:41,287 Oh. 633 00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:43,956 Thanks again for "Bailing me out.“ 634 00:34:43,957 --> 00:34:45,675 and for the silent treatment. 635 00:34:45,676 --> 00:34:47,669 KATE: Don't talk to me. 636 00:34:54,676 --> 00:34:55,889 I still can't believe it. 637 00:34:55,890 --> 00:34:59,057 - Can't believe what? - I wasn't talking to you. 638 00:34:59,058 --> 00:35:01,557 And I wasn't talking to you, my darling. 639 00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:03,434 Little fornicating ex-wife. 640 00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:05,278 - Shut up, Richard. - Alan dumped me. 641 00:35:05,279 --> 00:35:08,615 What a small world, my... my wife did exactly the 642 00:35:08,616 --> 00:35:12,032 same thing. She used to adore me. 643 00:35:12,611 --> 00:35:15,154 Where, oh, where did the love go? 644 00:35:15,155 --> 00:35:16,951 She turned 30 and wised up. 645 00:35:16,952 --> 00:35:20,326 So. Uh, what's going on? Why are you here, Olivia? 646 00:35:20,327 --> 00:35:22,578 KATE: Thank you so much for helping out. 647 00:35:22,579 --> 00:35:23,205 It's the least I can do. 648 00:35:23,206 --> 00:35:25,205 Helping... helping out? Helping out with what? 649 00:35:25,206 --> 00:35:27,675 I needed to know that Jake was going to be looked after, fed and 650 00:35:27,676 --> 00:35:31,509 driven by a responsible person with a valid driver's license. 651 00:35:31,510 --> 00:35:32,504 Fine, why her? 652 00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:35,850 Livvy offered to come at a very difficult time for her. 653 00:35:35,851 --> 00:35:39,470 To bail us out of the mess that you put us in! 654 00:35:39,471 --> 00:35:41,974 You know what? I've had enough of this. 655 00:35:41,975 --> 00:35:45,851 You know. You say "l" a lot. 656 00:35:45,852 --> 00:35:46,435 Really? 657 00:35:46,436 --> 00:35:50,439 Well, I know that Jake loves having you around. 658 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,439 But I'm getting phone calls from your immigration attorney 659 00:35:53,693 --> 00:35:56,195 Because you don't ever bother to call him back! 660 00:35:56,196 --> 00:35:57,823 I can't be in your life any more! 661 00:35:57,824 --> 00:36:00,449 I'm enabling your degenerate behavior! 662 00:36:00,450 --> 00:36:02,790 And what is the point of all this right now? 663 00:36:02,791 --> 00:36:06,381 Richard, if you want me to pretend like we're happily 664 00:36:06,382 --> 00:36:09,833 married. So you can stay in this country, 665 00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:12,633 you better get it together. 666 00:36:16,216 --> 00:36:18,765 (CELL PHONE RINGS) 667 00:36:25,642 --> 00:36:26,141 Yeah? 668 00:36:26,142 --> 00:36:29,144 GORDON: Gotcha. I woke you up, didn't I? 669 00:36:29,145 --> 00:36:30,145 Dad? Is that you? 670 00:36:30,146 --> 00:36:33,315 You know. There are no time zones in China, 671 00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:35,910 - Did you know that? - The whole bloody country 672 00:36:35,911 --> 00:36:39,863 is on Peking time and that's the way it should be. 673 00:36:39,864 --> 00:36:44,658 - We should all be on Peking time. - Don't be a dumb prat. 674 00:36:44,659 --> 00:36:47,956 The whole world should be on London time. 675 00:36:47,997 --> 00:36:50,467 Okay. What do you want, Dad? 676 00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:54,336 How's the little turd? 677 00:36:54,337 --> 00:36:55,337 Don't call him that. 678 00:36:55,338 --> 00:36:58,424 Come on. You're far too bloody sensitive. 679 00:36:58,425 --> 00:37:01,885 All right, great to hear from you, Dad. 680 00:37:01,886 --> 00:37:05,106 Why don't you go badger Joan? Okay? 681 00:37:05,306 --> 00:37:06,557 She's not here. 682 00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:11,234 Oh, shit! Okay. I've got to go. Goodbye-. 683 00:37:28,121 --> 00:37:30,215 Richard Haig? 684 00:37:31,624 --> 00:37:33,092 Thank you. 685 00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:43,596 ERNESTO: So your interview is Monday. This is the forth quarter 686 00:37:43,597 --> 00:37:46,263 now, two minute warning, you got no timeouts left. 687 00:37:46,264 --> 00:37:47,389 What the hell are you talking about? 688 00:37:47,390 --> 00:37:50,394 If your ex-wife won't show up to your interview. 689 00:37:50,395 --> 00:37:52,896 It's going to be Hail Mary time, baby. 690 00:37:53,313 --> 00:37:55,281 Okay. 691 00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:57,863 So, did you get a full-lime job? 692 00:37:57,864 --> 00:37:58,904 I'm doing my best. 693 00:37:58,905 --> 00:38:01,746 Have you recently joined any terrorist organizations? 694 00:38:01,747 --> 00:38:05,333 Applied all over. Fingers crossed. 695 00:38:08,077 --> 00:38:11,001 Have you ever been arrested? 696 00:38:11,831 --> 00:38:13,749 Umm... DUI. 697 00:38:13,750 --> 00:38:16,293 When? How many years ago? 698 00:38:16,294 --> 00:38:16,877 Friday. 699 00:38:16,878 --> 00:38:19,174 I mean, they can't kick me out of the country for that, 700 00:38:19,175 --> 00:38:20,761 - can they? - Jakey's a U.S. citizen. 701 00:38:20,762 --> 00:38:23,226 You see the people in my waiting room? The kid. 702 00:38:23,227 --> 00:38:27,849 Born here. The parents, illegal. They're deporting the parents! 703 00:38:27,931 --> 00:38:32,226 Oh. Yeah, it's Game seven... win or go home time. 704 00:38:32,227 --> 00:38:36,021 All right, look. if you join a recovery program now... 705 00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:38,112 - What? Recovery? - You do the 10 706 00:38:38,113 --> 00:38:41,360 mandated sessions the court's going to give you for the DUI. 707 00:38:41,361 --> 00:38:42,453 10? That's going to take me weeks. 708 00:38:42,454 --> 00:38:44,279 Hell week, baby, two-a-days. You get your 709 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,281 ex-wife to your interview and you get a great job. 710 00:38:46,282 --> 00:38:49,752 You do all that and you get the ring, baby. Okay? 711 00:38:51,079 --> 00:38:52,204 Yes... 712 00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:54,207 ...of course. 713 00:39:12,267 --> 00:39:14,690 Hijos de puta. 714 00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:21,984 (DOOR SLAMS) 715 00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:24,408 (CAR STARTS) 716 00:39:28,658 --> 00:39:29,955 Ay! 717 00:39:31,327 --> 00:39:33,000 (CRASH) 718 00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:34,547 Oops! 719 00:39:39,711 --> 00:39:41,679 Everything all right? 720 00:39:44,883 --> 00:39:46,967 Yeah. Why? 721 00:39:46,968 --> 00:39:49,016 Want to borrow my car? 722 00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:51,894 Okay, if you're not using it. 723 00:39:53,349 --> 00:39:55,568 (DEEP SIGH) 724 00:40:03,776 --> 00:40:05,736 (CAR STARTS) 725 00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,660 That's good! That's good! That's good! 726 00:40:07,661 --> 00:40:08,447 Oops! 727 00:40:08,448 --> 00:40:09,916 It's okay. 728 00:40:15,872 --> 00:40:17,873 Wait! Wait! Wait! 729 00:40:17,874 --> 00:40:18,215 What? 730 00:40:18,216 --> 00:40:21,507 Did Kale tell you about the one-way system at pick-up? 731 00:40:21,508 --> 00:40:22,461 Uh-huh. 732 00:40:22,462 --> 00:40:25,636 No. I didn't think so. It's okay. 733 00:40:26,132 --> 00:40:28,351 All right, Toots, step on it! 734 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:30,353 Oh, boy. 735 00:40:31,554 --> 00:40:32,726 Stop sign! Stop Sign! Stop Sign! 736 00:40:32,727 --> 00:40:34,264 - Car! Car! Jesus. - (CAR HORNS) 737 00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:35,474 Agh. Jeez. 738 00:40:35,475 --> 00:40:38,602 Where the hell did you learn how to drive? 739 00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:39,436 Mexico. 740 00:40:39,437 --> 00:40:42,109 - (CELL PHONE RINGS) - Oh, can you please get that? 741 00:40:42,110 --> 00:40:43,902 Where's my phone'? Where's my phone'? 742 00:40:43,903 --> 00:40:47,200 - I'm waiting for a very call... - Here you go, Sorry, it's down here. 743 00:40:49,948 --> 00:40:50,447 Hello? 744 00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:52,701 ASSISTANT: Olivia, I have Tim Prince from Creative. 745 00:40:52,702 --> 00:40:54,326 Management Lit for you. 746 00:40:54,327 --> 00:40:54,748 Okay. 747 00:40:54,749 --> 00:40:56,745 Can't he dial the phone by himself? 748 00:40:56,746 --> 00:40:57,121 Ssh! 749 00:40:57,122 --> 00:40:58,372 TIM: Hey, babes! 750 00:40:58,373 --> 00:40:58,794 Hi! 751 00:40:58,795 --> 00:41:02,000 Yeah, oh, listen, so sorry about Alan. Awful. 752 00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:03,171 Thanks, Tim. Thank you. 753 00:41:03,172 --> 00:41:05,634 I caught my ex-wife in Downward Dog with my tantra 754 00:41:05,635 --> 00:41:09,385 teacher coming out of her Central Eye. You feel so... 755 00:41:09,259 --> 00:41:11,429 - Angry. - Who the hell is this guy? 756 00:41:11,430 --> 00:41:14,099 TIM: Okay, listen, babes, if anyone can go from editor to 757 00:41:14,100 --> 00:41:17,395 author, it's you, and I mean that. And I've got your sample 758 00:41:17,396 --> 00:41:19,565 chapter, Give me a day or two to look it over. 759 00:41:19,696 --> 00:41:22,565 - Of course. - I'll be gentle. I promise. 760 00:41:22,605 --> 00:41:23,105 Who says I like it gentle? 761 00:41:23,106 --> 00:41:25,608 That's my girl. Okay. Gotta jump. 762 00:41:25,106 --> 00:41:28,608 - Bye, babes. - Bye! 763 00:41:29,278 --> 00:41:31,071 Fascinating exchange. 764 00:41:31,072 --> 00:41:33,699 How can men move on so quickly? 765 00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:34,119 What? 766 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:35,242 It's like a switch for you, isn't it? 767 00:41:35,243 --> 00:41:38,122 You flip it off. Then you turn to the next one, you flip that 768 00:41:38,123 --> 00:41:40,715 one on, and when you get tired of that you just flip another, 769 00:41:40,716 --> 00:41:44,918 Like a pilot in a cockpit, Flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip 770 00:41:44,919 --> 00:41:46,883 What the hell are you talking about? 771 00:41:46,884 --> 00:41:50,257 Wishful thinking, Richard. I wish I was like that, 772 00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:52,602 Eyes on the road! Eyes on the road! Do not enter! Wrong way, wrong way. 773 00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:56,930 - Oh. Relax. Relax. - I am. I am very relaxed. 774 00:41:56,931 --> 00:41:59,184 - You're like an old lady! - Oohh! 775 00:41:59,185 --> 00:42:04,189 You men. You'd rather just go out there and have sex. 776 00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,025 Than work things out. 777 00:42:08,026 --> 00:42:09,403 Yeah. Guilty as charged. 778 00:42:09,404 --> 00:42:13,113 But your horniness is nothing but a big mask 779 00:42:13,114 --> 00:42:14,366 for you to hide behind. 780 00:42:14,367 --> 00:42:16,742 Now what's wrong with a big mask'? Huh? 781 00:42:16,743 --> 00:42:17,995 - Let me ask you something. - Yeah. 782 00:42:17,996 --> 00:42:20,334 How can you teach the Romantics. When you can't 783 00:42:20,335 --> 00:42:21,705 Even have a real feeling? 784 00:42:21,706 --> 00:42:25,004 Is irritation a real feeling? I mean, listening to your flirt 785 00:42:25,005 --> 00:42:27,841 on the phone with some guy who's calling you babes. 786 00:42:27,842 --> 00:42:29,680 - Oh, please. - Oohing and ahhing. 787 00:42:29,681 --> 00:42:33,175 No, I like it gentle. Good lord, 788 00:42:33,176 --> 00:42:35,270 Anyone would think you were having an orgasm. 789 00:42:35,176 --> 00:42:38,270 I do not sound like that when I... 790 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,182 Anyway, you should hear some of the 791 00:42:40,183 --> 00:42:43,060 stupid noises you guys make when you're... 792 00:42:43,061 --> 00:42:45,689 You can't even say the word. Can you? Come on, 793 00:42:45,690 --> 00:42:47,481 What do we sound like? 794 00:42:47,482 --> 00:42:49,900 For example. You have the bear... 795 00:42:49,901 --> 00:42:50,609 Ah-aa. 796 00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:53,409 (GRUNTS) 797 00:42:56,991 --> 00:42:58,036 I can see your tonsils. 798 00:42:58,037 --> 00:43:00,378 Then you have the sports commentators. 799 00:43:00,037 --> 00:43:01,081 (RAPID SPANISH) 800 00:43:00,379 --> 00:43:01,036 Oh, yeah? 801 00:43:01,082 --> 00:43:05,505 Baja la pelota, recibe con el pecho, mete mano en el área chica. Gol! 802 00:43:06,751 --> 00:43:08,719 - What kind of men have you been with? - And then there's the quiet ones. 803 00:43:10,546 --> 00:43:13,675 (SQUIRMING) 804 00:43:15,343 --> 00:43:16,093 You finished? 805 00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:16,932 - No. - Of course not. 806 00:43:16,933 --> 00:43:19,932 And then the worst one, the worst one is the Tourette's one. 807 00:43:19,933 --> 00:43:21,979 - What? - You know. "Shit, Fuck! 808 00:43:21,980 --> 00:43:25,393 "I love you, fuck me! Oh, motherfucker, bitch! 809 00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:29,149 I love you. Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!" 810 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,900 Hey, that's sounded like you, Dad. 811 00:43:31,901 --> 00:43:32,818 Ah. 812 00:43:32,819 --> 00:43:35,288 I heard him once on the Walkie-talkie. 813 00:43:35,819 --> 00:43:38,288 Mr. Haig, do you have a minute? 814 00:43:38,074 --> 00:43:42,119 Of course, I do. Come on, Toots, this way. 815 00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,499 ANITA: This morning, Jake said he had a question about the rules. 816 00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:50,504 He asked if he was allowed to use the Special Alphabet. 817 00:43:50,878 --> 00:43:51,378 Oh, boy. 818 00:43:51,379 --> 00:43:52,254 I didn't know what that was. 819 00:43:52,255 --> 00:43:57,261 So he asked if he was allowed to say the "A" word. 820 00:43:57,593 --> 00:43:58,059 Oh. 821 00:43:58,060 --> 00:44:00,642 Then he asked, "Can I say bugger, crap, dummy?" 822 00:44:00,643 --> 00:44:03,562 And when he got to F, he said, "Am I allowed to say 'frick,' 823 00:44:03,563 --> 00:44:07,060 Because I know I'm not allowed to say fuck." 824 00:44:07,061 --> 00:44:09,029 It was at that point, that I sent him to 825 00:44:09,030 --> 00:44:11,490 the principal's office. 826 00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:18,071 Then what did you say for G? 827 00:44:18,072 --> 00:44:18,572 Goddamn. 828 00:44:18,573 --> 00:44:23,579 CHANDLER: Mr. Haig, how is Jake adjusting to your new... 829 00:44:23,953 --> 00:44:26,297 living situation? 830 00:44:26,622 --> 00:44:28,293 - No. No. - No. No, this is not 831 00:44:28,294 --> 00:44:31,006 what it looks like or what it sounds like. No. No. No. no' 832 00:44:31,007 --> 00:44:33,295 CHANDLER: We don't need to have an explanation. 833 00:44:33,296 --> 00:44:34,843 I think there's been a misunderstanding. 834 00:44:34,844 --> 00:44:38,218 - I would never... - You've said enough. 835 00:44:44,098 --> 00:44:45,849 Oh, wonderful! 836 00:44:45,850 --> 00:44:49,102 I'll walk to the curb. Mind your hands! 837 00:44:49,103 --> 00:44:50,148 What are you doing here? 838 00:44:50,149 --> 00:44:52,820 What am I doing here? Um, I'm just going to get... 839 00:44:52,821 --> 00:44:55,984 some delicious Potatoes Latinos. Hah-hah' 840 00:44:55,985 --> 00:44:59,740 Hah-hah, yeah. And maybe a manicure? 841 00:45:00,656 --> 00:45:01,990 Or a bikini wax. 842 00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:04,826 Bye! I'll see you later. You take care, 843 00:45:04,827 --> 00:45:08,047 - Whatever. - Bye. 844 00:45:10,958 --> 00:45:13,177 WENDY: We have two new members today. 845 00:45:13,178 --> 00:45:17,800 We have Cindy and Richard. So, Cindy, you want to... 846 00:45:19,634 --> 00:45:24,640 CINDY: Hi, I'm Cindy and I'm an alcoholic. 847 00:45:24,972 --> 00:45:27,316 (APPLAUSE) 848 00:45:27,642 --> 00:45:30,894 Thank you, Cindy. Uh, Richard? 849 00:45:30,895 --> 00:45:35,899 Hi, I am Richard, and I'm not an alcoholic. 850 00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:40,906 I'm English, a country with... a few thousand years of history, 851 00:45:40,988 --> 00:45:44,993 And part of that history is the communal practice of having a 852 00:45:44,994 --> 00:45:45,709 drink in the pub. 853 00:45:45,710 --> 00:45:49,663 Now I know it's not your fault a few sad, sorry. Pilgrims 854 00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:52,508 arrived here and infected your country with a message of... 855 00:45:52,509 --> 00:45:57,504 Puritanical masochism. But it is your fault you've all taken 856 00:45:57,505 --> 00:46:04,354 it on board quite so earnestly. So... you chaps go ahead. 857 00:46:04,887 --> 00:46:06,680 Knock yourselves out! 858 00:46:06,681 --> 00:46:09,309 But just know this, the first thing I intend to do when 859 00:46:09,310 --> 00:46:12,357 this hour is up. Is hit that bar across the street 860 00:46:12,358 --> 00:46:14,396 and have a nice cold one. 861 00:46:14,397 --> 00:46:15,899 CHAD: Good luck with that! 862 00:46:15,900 --> 00:46:17,741 Thank you, Chad. 863 00:46:25,324 --> 00:46:28,201 How are the Romantics relevant to you? 864 00:46:28,202 --> 00:46:30,421 MALE STUDENT: Yeah, you know. The only reason I'm taking 865 00:46:30,422 --> 00:46:31,960 this class is so I can get my GPA up, 866 00:46:31,961 --> 00:46:35,677 so I can play baseball at Arizona State. so... 867 00:46:37,086 --> 00:46:38,795 How about you, Stacy? 868 00:46:38,796 --> 00:46:41,756 how are the Romantics relevant to you? Hm? 869 00:46:41,757 --> 00:46:44,180 STACY: They're not. 870 00:46:47,722 --> 00:46:49,055 (SNORING) 871 00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:51,352 You have been such a wonderful audience. I can't 872 00:46:51,353 --> 00:46:53,773 wait to see you all next week, when I shall be lecturing 873 00:46:53,774 --> 00:46:59,321 naked wearing a sombrero. It'll be so wonderful! 874 00:47:02,486 --> 00:47:04,329 Fuck me. 875 00:47:06,115 --> 00:47:07,615 TIM: Olivia? 876 00:47:07,616 --> 00:47:10,160 Hey, babes! There you are! 877 00:47:10,161 --> 00:47:11,619 Oh, Tim, Hi! 878 00:47:11,620 --> 00:47:13,588 TIM: How are you, beautiful? 879 00:47:15,624 --> 00:47:19,128 Okay. About this... 880 00:47:20,796 --> 00:47:22,797 This rocks! 881 00:47:22,798 --> 00:47:23,298 Really? 882 00:47:23,299 --> 00:47:26,926 It is smart. It is funny. Oh. I love Jenna. 883 00:47:26,927 --> 00:47:27,302 Jane. 884 00:47:27,303 --> 00:47:28,268 You might want to change that. 885 00:47:28,269 --> 00:47:30,435 Sex sells, Jane makes me think of a nun in a wimple, 886 00:47:30,436 --> 00:47:32,150 God, but you are so talented, 887 00:47:32,436 --> 00:47:35,150 You're so beautiful, too. And trust me, that helps, babe. 888 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,942 I'm gonna take you to the stars. I am gonna take you to the stars. 889 00:47:38,943 --> 00:47:40,157 All I ask is that these shoulders be the ones you 890 00:47:40,158 --> 00:47:44,074 stand upon. Watch the silk, though? Huh? 891 00:47:45,571 --> 00:47:48,114 (CELL PHONE VIBRATES) 892 00:47:48,115 --> 00:47:49,458 - Hello? - ERNESTO: Richard. Listen. 893 00:47:49,459 --> 00:47:51,540 They've assigned your case for investigation. 894 00:47:51,541 --> 00:47:53,081 Really? What does that mean? 895 00:47:53,082 --> 00:47:56,128 You're under surveillance by an undercover federal agent. 896 00:47:56,129 --> 00:47:57,957 - Jesus, fuck! - Yes, Relax. 897 00:47:57,958 --> 00:48:00,460 Sorry. Sorry. 898 00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:03,590 Shit. He's here tonight. He just flashed his badge. 899 00:48:03,591 --> 00:48:05,967 Don't fumble the ball now! 900 00:48:05,968 --> 00:48:08,638 All that matter is that you exhibit good moral character, okay? 901 00:48:08,639 --> 00:48:10,637 WENDY: Okay, everybody! Grab a seat! 902 00:48:11,639 --> 00:48:15,637 Okay, so, Chad, I believe you wanted to start us off? 903 00:48:15,226 --> 00:48:18,353 CHAD: I'm Chad, and I am 13 days sober. 904 00:48:18,354 --> 00:48:22,023 - Yeah! Way to go, Chad! Woo-hoe! - All right, Chad! 905 00:48:22,024 --> 00:48:26,486 All right, so why don't you tell us how that feels? 906 00:48:26,487 --> 00:48:29,906 CHAD: Well, you know. It started by not going... 907 00:48:29,907 --> 00:48:31,375 Wendy? Excuse me, Wendy, just a moment there, please. 908 00:48:33,907 --> 00:48:35,375 Sorry, everyone. Can I say something? 909 00:48:35,496 --> 00:48:37,497 Sorry, Chad, I didn't mean to interrupt your moment 910 00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:41,375 of glory there. Um. My name is Richard. 911 00:48:41,376 --> 00:48:46,046 and I'd like to amend my earlier comments about the drinking habits of the English. 912 00:48:46,376 --> 00:48:50,046 I mean, just because the entire country hits the pub after work doesn't mean 913 00:48:50,301 --> 00:48:53,101 we can't all be alcoholics, because we are. 914 00:48:53,102 --> 00:48:57,308 We are inebriates. National disgrace. 915 00:48:57,309 --> 00:49:01,934 What else? I'm married, very happily so. 916 00:49:01,935 --> 00:49:04,272 Oh, and I have a son. A beautiful little son called Jakey. 917 00:49:04,902 --> 00:49:09,495 Born here, in this country, a country which I love and has such meaning to my heart. 918 00:49:09,502 --> 00:49:11,495 So, Richard... 919 00:49:11,502 --> 00:49:14,495 with all of that to lose, 920 00:49:14,410 --> 00:49:18,756 why would you get drunk and then get behind the wheel of a car? 921 00:49:22,751 --> 00:49:26,921 Yep, Well, there you have it. I'm an alcoholic. 922 00:49:26,922 --> 00:49:30,517 Oop, I'm Richard, alcoholic. 923 00:49:35,014 --> 00:49:38,016 (CELL PHONE VIBRATES) Sorry. Yeah. 924 00:49:38,017 --> 00:49:39,940 Jakey?Jake, no, no, no. no. 925 00:49:39,941 --> 00:49:43,980 No. Jakey, just tell him, just tell him... 926 00:49:43,981 --> 00:49:46,441 tell him just to calm down. 927 00:49:46,442 --> 00:49:48,443 WENDY: Okay, no more cell phones. 928 00:49:48,444 --> 00:49:53,072 (CRYING) Hey, hey, I'm here, I'm here, it's okay. It's... 929 00:49:53,073 --> 00:49:54,574 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 930 00:49:54,575 --> 00:49:56,122 It's all right, don't worry. Don't worry. 931 00:49:56,123 --> 00:49:59,954 Ssh. I know, I know. Come on, Jakey, calm down. 932 00:49:59,955 --> 00:50:02,832 Calm down, just breathe. There you go' 933 00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:07,212 Breathe. Breathe, okay, ssh. Relax, use your words. 934 00:50:07,213 --> 00:50:10,130 - I...I had a bad dream. - Okay. 935 00:50:10,131 --> 00:50:14,093 Then I woke up, and Mommy wasn't here, and you were gone, And... 936 00:50:14,094 --> 00:50:18,065 Aw. I'm really sorry, okay? 937 00:50:18,432 --> 00:50:20,560 Hey, you know what we're gonna do'? 938 00:50:20,561 --> 00:50:24,689 We're gonna blow that bad dream away. Okay? 939 00:50:30,486 --> 00:50:32,864 (BLOWING) 940 00:50:34,490 --> 00:50:37,118 Here let me catch it. 941 00:50:37,701 --> 00:50:39,499 And then.. 942 00:50:40,287 --> 00:50:41,454 Pooww! 943 00:50:41,455 --> 00:50:45,083 Look, how it's all gone. Okay. Give us a hug. 944 00:50:45,084 --> 00:50:46,757 All right. Where's Teddy? 945 00:50:46,758 --> 00:50:49,301 Oops. There he is. 946 00:50:52,466 --> 00:50:56,596 All right, let's go to sleep. Come on, Say good night. 947 00:50:56,804 --> 00:50:58,681 Good night. 948 00:51:08,816 --> 00:51:12,569 There you go. My little warrior poet. 949 00:51:12,570 --> 00:51:13,036 Go to sleep. 950 00:51:13,037 --> 00:51:19,331 Dad, you and Mom are never going to live together, are you? 951 00:51:20,869 --> 00:51:22,579 No. 952 00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:26,050 I'm sorry, but if you're ever upset about anything. 953 00:51:26,051 --> 00:51:31,639 Anything at all, you go talk to your mum or talk to me. 954 00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:33,673 Or Brian? 955 00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:38,475 Only if I'm stuck down a mine and your mom's in a coma. 956 00:51:45,144 --> 00:51:47,395 Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. 957 00:51:47,396 --> 00:51:51,899 I... I was completely useless. 958 00:51:51,900 --> 00:51:52,321 No, It's okay. 959 00:51:52,322 --> 00:51:55,743 I can't even take care of my little sister's child. 960 00:51:55,744 --> 00:51:57,947 I mean, how hard can that be? Right? 961 00:51:57,948 --> 00:52:01,414 Have you ever felt like everybody else has gotten their 962 00:52:01,415 --> 00:52:02,753 shit together, but you? 963 00:52:02,754 --> 00:52:07,123 I mean, my little sister has. Even you have. 964 00:52:07,124 --> 00:52:09,709 Huh. Well, I wouldn't go that far, 965 00:52:09,710 --> 00:52:13,840 Look, it's just a lot different when it's your own kid. 966 00:52:14,089 --> 00:52:18,217 Well, I wouldn't know about that, either. 967 00:52:18,218 --> 00:52:21,846 Listen, I made some soup. Would you like some? 968 00:52:21,847 --> 00:52:22,972 It's horrible. 969 00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:25,852 Sure. I love horrible soup. 970 00:52:30,230 --> 00:52:34,359 I know, it's horrible. I can't even make a soup right. 971 00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,078 Oh, boy. 972 00:52:37,529 --> 00:52:40,119 You know, you're a really good father. 973 00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:41,332 Oh, yeah, sure I am. 974 00:52:41,333 --> 00:52:45,455 Richard, I'm giving you a compliment. Just say thank you. 975 00:52:46,121 --> 00:52:48,499 Thank you, Olivia. 976 00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:52,794 I like it when you say my name. 977 00:52:52,795 --> 00:52:57,507 You know. It's funny. Most women adore me to begin 978 00:52:57,508 --> 00:53:00,593 with, and then end up hating me. 979 00:53:00,594 --> 00:53:03,266 You, on the other hand, hated me right off the bat, 980 00:53:03,267 --> 00:53:04,685 but now I think you despise me. 981 00:53:04,686 --> 00:53:07,392 No, I despised you at the beginning. 982 00:53:07,393 --> 00:53:12,866 Now, I just loathe you a little sometimes. 983 00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:18,366 Well. 984 00:53:42,589 --> 00:53:45,800 I've been staying inside 985 00:53:46,426 --> 00:53:49,637 Watching from the outside 986 00:53:50,138 --> 00:53:53,641 My God, it's been a long time 987 00:53:54,017 --> 00:53:56,603 For sure 988 00:53:57,687 --> 00:54:01,149 I've been reaching for my west side 989 00:54:01,524 --> 00:54:05,069 'Cause it used to be my best side 990 00:54:05,195 --> 00:54:08,364 Now it's a part of me I can't find 991 00:54:09,699 --> 00:54:11,326 Anymore 992 00:54:13,578 --> 00:54:15,997 I wanna fly... 993 00:54:17,337 --> 00:54:23,390 I packed your toothbrush. Your pajamas, and... 994 00:54:24,303 --> 00:54:27,971 Hey. Guys! What's happening? 995 00:54:27,972 --> 00:54:28,564 - Where are you going? - My Sleepover! 996 00:54:28,565 --> 00:54:31,854 Oh, yeah! The sleepover, of course. All right. 997 00:54:31,686 --> 00:54:35,022 Well, give me a kiss and have a good night. There you go, soldier. 998 00:54:35,023 --> 00:54:37,857 - Cool! - Have fun, Jakey! 999 00:54:37,858 --> 00:54:39,531 - FRIEND'S MOTHER: Let's go, - Good night. 1000 00:54:39,532 --> 00:54:41,903 FRIEND'S MOTHER: Enjoy your night off. 1001 00:54:41,904 --> 00:54:45,374 (MUSIC) 1002 00:55:15,854 --> 00:55:18,107 (KNCKS ON DOOR) 1003 00:55:19,358 --> 00:55:21,110 Hello? 1004 00:55:22,986 --> 00:55:26,911 TIM: Oh, there he is. What's up, Rich? 1005 00:55:27,574 --> 00:55:29,827 Hi, Richard. 1006 00:55:31,370 --> 00:55:33,788 Yeah. Great, well done. 1007 00:55:33,789 --> 00:55:37,419 Leaving now, yeah, good Sorry about that. 1008 00:55:40,712 --> 00:55:42,305 Yeah. 1009 00:55:42,965 --> 00:55:45,639 He's a little weird, huh? 1010 00:55:46,301 --> 00:55:47,593 (CAR STARTS) Bye! 1011 00:55:47,594 --> 00:55:49,938 TIM: Hey, I'll be back for more, huh? 1012 00:55:49,939 --> 00:55:52,515 Bye, babes. 1013 00:55:52,516 --> 00:55:55,315 Had to leave early, did he? 1014 00:55:55,394 --> 00:55:59,188 Well, he did stay until he got the job done. 1015 00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:00,152 That was good of him. 1016 00:56:00,153 --> 00:56:02,525 Yeah, he's gonna come back tomorrow and bring a 1017 00:56:02,526 --> 00:56:05,528 friend. So we can all do it together. 1018 00:56:05,529 --> 00:56:06,325 The more the merrier. 1019 00:56:06,326 --> 00:56:08,698 Oh, for Christ's sake, we were working and then he 1020 00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:13,327 went surfing. You idiot. Now where is that bottle of wine? 1021 00:56:13,328 --> 00:56:15,706 I could use a drink. 1022 00:56:17,666 --> 00:56:19,418 Came on up. 1023 00:56:29,469 --> 00:56:31,221 There you go. 1024 00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:34,015 Apology accepted. 1025 00:56:34,016 --> 00:56:35,984 Oh, good. 1026 00:56:36,143 --> 00:56:37,486 To friends. 1027 00:56:37,853 --> 00:56:39,651 To friends. 1028 00:56:44,443 --> 00:56:46,489 A bit old for homework, aren't you? 1029 00:56:46,490 --> 00:56:49,535 Well. It's never too late to perfect new ways of 1030 00:56:49,536 --> 00:56:52,250 boring one's students. 1031 00:56:53,452 --> 00:56:58,039 So. You must be very excited to have Tim all over you. 1032 00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:01,214 So to speak. about your book. 1033 00:57:01,877 --> 00:57:07,429 Well. Tonight he tore me to pieces. 1034 00:57:08,133 --> 00:57:08,633 Ooh. 1035 00:57:08,634 --> 00:57:10,386 It's hard to be judged by others. 1036 00:57:10,387 --> 00:57:14,221 It's very difficult to stay true to your own voice, 1037 00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:18,398 when everybody else wants you to do something else. 1038 00:57:19,811 --> 00:57:21,938 It made me think of Alan. 1039 00:57:21,939 --> 00:57:25,524 All the notes that I gave him through the years. 1040 00:57:25,525 --> 00:57:27,860 It must have tortured him. 1041 00:57:27,861 --> 00:57:30,535 So it's not all bad, then. 1042 00:57:31,740 --> 00:57:34,960 I'll be honest' I always thought he was an arrogant. 1043 00:57:34,961 --> 00:57:38,913 Little shit. whose books were vapid and hackneyed. 1044 00:57:38,914 --> 00:57:43,169 And all I could ever think about when I skim-read them... 1045 00:57:44,670 --> 00:57:46,468 was you. 1046 00:57:46,713 --> 00:57:48,047 Me? 1047 00:57:48,048 --> 00:57:49,548 You. 1048 00:57:49,549 --> 00:57:52,468 Yes. And what could have been worse? 1049 00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:57,771 Being married to him or editing his schmaltzy drivel? 1050 00:58:00,352 --> 00:58:02,775 They both sucked. 1051 00:58:04,773 --> 00:58:07,697 Do you know who he's screwing? 1052 00:58:08,276 --> 00:58:10,695 MY gynecologist! 1053 00:58:10,696 --> 00:58:14,532 My gynecologist! I mean. 1054 00:58:14,533 --> 00:58:17,036 I actually thought that he was coming to our 1055 00:58:17,037 --> 00:58:18,874 appointments because he cared! 1056 00:58:18,875 --> 00:58:20,791 But no. He wanted to see the doctor! 1057 00:58:20,792 --> 00:58:22,962 Maybe you're better off without him, 1058 00:58:22,963 --> 00:58:27,964 Think about it, you're smart, you're funny, you're beautiful. 1059 00:58:28,171 --> 00:58:31,465 Terrible driver. But I'm sure you'll find 1060 00:58:31,466 --> 00:58:34,301 someone to overlook that. 1061 00:58:34,302 --> 00:58:36,303 You're just saying that. 1062 00:58:36,304 --> 00:58:40,182 Well, you are smart, you are funny 1063 00:58:40,183 --> 00:58:43,733 and you are very, very beautiful. 1064 00:59:39,242 --> 00:59:41,040 - What the hell happened to my car? - Oh, Shit! 1065 00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:45,913 Oh, my nuts! They said they weren't coming back until tonight! 1066 00:59:45,292 --> 00:59:49,418 - It's a good thing it's a military vehicle. - Oh, my God! 1067 00:59:49,377 --> 00:59:53,348 Okay, okay. To the house. To the house. 1068 00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:59,720 SEÑORA: Buenos días, Pedro. 1069 00:59:59,721 --> 01:00:02,019 PEDRO: Buenos días, señora. 1070 01:00:04,726 --> 01:00:06,854 KATE: Get the keys, sweetie? 1071 01:00:06,855 --> 01:00:10,528 Oh, you know what? I think I left my phone in the car. 1072 01:00:22,410 --> 01:00:23,744 Hi. 1073 01:00:23,745 --> 01:00:24,370 You're naked. 1074 01:00:24,371 --> 01:00:25,918 If you're wondering where Jake is, 1075 01:00:25,919 --> 01:00:28,040 he's at a sleepover with Josh. 1076 01:00:28,041 --> 01:00:31,916 - Why are you naked? - Richard's sleeping in his house. 1077 01:00:31,919 --> 01:00:34,765 - I'm just gonna go and swim little more. - Unbelievable. 1078 01:00:37,092 --> 01:00:39,345 ANGELA: Hey, how's the lecture coming'? 1079 01:00:39,346 --> 01:00:43,139 I've passed kidney stones with greater ease. 1080 01:00:43,140 --> 01:00:48,271 Well, don't overthink it. Just be honest, pithy, simple. 1081 01:00:48,687 --> 01:00:50,858 You know something? I think you're the first 1082 01:00:50,859 --> 01:00:53,109 woman I've ever really been friends with. 1083 01:00:53,110 --> 01:00:56,408 Well, that's a little sad. Richard, but very touching. 1084 01:00:56,409 --> 01:01:00,909 What brought about the sudden onset of sincerity? 1085 01:01:02,617 --> 01:01:06,463 I slept with someone and... 1086 01:01:07,414 --> 01:01:10,418 it actually meant something. 1087 01:01:10,500 --> 01:01:13,377 Well. That's great, Who? 1088 01:01:13,378 --> 01:01:14,595 Olivia. 1089 01:01:15,630 --> 01:01:16,964 Are you kidding? 1090 01:01:16,965 --> 01:01:19,931 Richard, why don't you go down to your green card appointment. 1091 01:01:19,932 --> 01:01:22,892 Take out your samurai sword and disembowel yourself? 1092 01:01:22,893 --> 01:01:26,811 What is wrong with you? Are you trying to get deported? 1093 01:01:26,812 --> 01:01:28,184 I mean, Kate is gonna kill you! 1094 01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:29,651 Well. Kate's not going to know about it, is she? 1095 01:01:29,652 --> 01:01:31,988 I mean, I'm not going to tell her, and Olivia's not going to tell her. 1096 01:01:31,989 --> 01:01:35,482 They are sisters, Richard! Close sisters! 1097 01:01:35,483 --> 01:01:37,611 And close sisters talk. 1098 01:01:39,821 --> 01:01:40,788 I gotta get over there! 1099 01:01:40,789 --> 01:01:44,080 - You better move! - I'm going! 1100 01:01:53,376 --> 01:01:54,710 Oh, god! 1101 01:01:54,711 --> 01:01:56,805 Oh, god! Oh, god! 1102 01:02:03,011 --> 01:02:06,388 - Kate, Hi. How's everything? Good? - KATE: Hey. 1103 01:02:06,389 --> 01:02:08,229 Olivia told me everything. 1104 01:02:08,230 --> 01:02:09,808 Oh, she did? 1105 01:02:09,809 --> 01:02:13,655 I think it's awesome that she's started writing. 1106 01:02:14,397 --> 01:02:17,992 And she said you were really nice to her when I was away. 1107 01:02:17,993 --> 01:02:19,818 Oh, wonderful. 1108 01:02:19,819 --> 01:02:24,448 You know, I know I've been kind of a bitch to you lately. 1109 01:02:24,449 --> 01:02:25,118 Oh, that's okay. 1110 01:02:25,119 --> 01:02:27,456 And threatening not to come to your green card meeting 1111 01:02:27,457 --> 01:02:29,416 was totally out of line. I'm sorry. 1112 01:02:29,417 --> 01:02:32,962 Yeah, live and let live, forgive and forget, all of that. 1113 01:02:32,963 --> 01:02:35,918 - We're cool? - We are so cool. 1114 01:02:35,919 --> 01:02:36,919 Okay. 1115 01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:38,671 Do you want to get me some lemonade? 1116 01:02:38,672 --> 01:02:40,094 - Good idea. - Thanks. 1117 01:02:40,095 --> 01:02:42,092 Okay, great. 1118 01:02:44,678 --> 01:02:47,056 Oh, god, where is she? 1119 01:02:52,310 --> 01:02:54,187 You smoke? 1120 01:02:58,483 --> 01:03:01,407 (WHISPERS) I Can't Stop thinking about last night. 1121 01:03:01,408 --> 01:03:03,155 Nor can I. 1122 01:03:04,739 --> 01:03:06,456 - We have to tell her. - No, no, no. 1123 01:03:06,457 --> 01:03:08,908 - This is not good timing. Olivia, Olivia. - Dad? 1124 01:03:08,909 --> 01:03:10,037 That's gone to your head. Get back in the bush. Get behind the bush. 1125 01:03:10,038 --> 01:03:14,540 JAKE: Dad? There's a funny, old man here that wants to see you. 1126 01:03:14,541 --> 01:03:16,168 What? 1127 01:03:16,835 --> 01:03:18,633 Dad! What are you doing here? 1128 01:03:18,634 --> 01:03:23,215 Why in buggering hell have you been ignoring my calls? 1129 01:03:23,216 --> 01:03:23,682 Well... 1130 01:03:23,683 --> 01:03:27,761 Oh, hello, this must be the Yank totty! 1131 01:03:27,762 --> 01:03:30,515 Kate, my father. 1132 01:03:30,598 --> 01:03:32,725 Oh, my goodness, Mr. Haig! 1133 01:03:32,726 --> 01:03:34,685 It's so nice to meet you. 1134 01:03:34,686 --> 01:03:37,604 Wow! Oh, sorry, I'm soaking wet. 1135 01:03:37,605 --> 01:03:38,822 I need a shower anyway. 1136 01:03:38,823 --> 01:03:42,776 Oh. And who is this other vision of loveliness? 1137 01:03:42,777 --> 01:03:46,155 I'm Olivia. I'm Kate's sister. 1138 01:03:46,156 --> 01:03:48,490 Blimey... Bookends. 1139 01:03:48,491 --> 01:03:51,457 KATE: Well, come inside, I'll make you up a room. 1140 01:03:51,458 --> 01:03:54,293 No. No. No. It's okay. Dad. Come with me. Come to the guesthouse. 1141 01:03:54,458 --> 01:03:58,293 - We've got plenty of rooms. - No, that's okay. Dad, come with me. 1142 01:03:58,294 --> 01:04:00,248 - Are you sure? - You're staying with me. I promise you. 1143 01:04:00,632 --> 01:04:02,593 - Nice to meet you, - You. Too. And... 1144 01:04:02,594 --> 01:04:04,091 RICHARD: Why exactly are you here? 1145 01:04:04,092 --> 01:04:07,968 I'm visiting you and the little turd fella. 1146 01:04:07,969 --> 01:04:09,845 What's it bloody look like? 1147 01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:13,598 Well, I don't Really know, I mean... 1148 01:04:13,599 --> 01:04:16,768 Jake, meet your grandfather. 1149 01:04:16,769 --> 01:04:19,942 Yeah I'm your granddad. I've got something for you that I brought 1150 01:04:19,943 --> 01:04:22,658 all the way from England. Would you like to see it? 1151 01:04:22,659 --> 01:04:27,237 Now that is a model of "HMS Defiance." 1152 01:04:27,238 --> 01:04:27,702 Wow. 1153 01:04:27,703 --> 01:04:29,573 God. Dad, you never let me used to touch that. 1154 01:04:29,574 --> 01:04:31,664 - What? - Okay, I'll be right back. 1155 01:04:31,665 --> 01:04:34,912 Well, hey! Wait a minute. Where you going? 1156 01:04:34,665 --> 01:04:38,912 You can't bear to be in the same room with me for two minutes, is that it? 1157 01:04:38,916 --> 01:04:39,962 No. That's not it. Dad. Not at all. 1158 01:04:39,963 --> 01:04:40,672 Can I keep it? 1159 01:04:40,673 --> 01:04:43,638 Of course, you can bloody keep it, it's yours. 1160 01:04:43,639 --> 01:04:48,056 But don't put it in the bath, because it'll sink. 1161 01:04:50,470 --> 01:04:52,888 - Look what I found! - Hey, cool! 1162 01:04:52,889 --> 01:04:54,266 Where shall we put it? Here? 1163 01:04:54,267 --> 01:04:57,519 - On the top. - Yes, on the top. 1164 01:04:58,686 --> 01:05:00,187 Hello, my lovelies. 1165 01:05:00,188 --> 01:05:04,944 All I'm asking is, can you wait till Monday morning at 11:00? 1166 01:05:05,693 --> 01:05:06,819 Why? 1167 01:05:06,820 --> 01:05:09,414 My green card interview... 1168 01:05:10,448 --> 01:05:13,033 and then after that, 1169 01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:16,664 you can tell her what you like, okay? 1170 01:05:35,807 --> 01:05:39,643 JAKE: Dad, I need to go pee. 1171 01:05:39,644 --> 01:05:41,228 Come on then. 1172 01:05:41,229 --> 01:05:44,069 Hey! Where the bloody hell are you two going? 1173 01:05:44,070 --> 01:05:46,238 - Come on, hey, Jake! - We're going to go for a pee, Dad. 1174 01:05:46,239 --> 01:05:48,902 Hey. Jake, whip it out, come on! 1175 01:05:48,903 --> 01:05:50,574 Dad, you can't Pee off the pier. 1176 01:05:50,575 --> 01:05:52,825 Jake, who are you going to listen to? Your dad, who 1177 01:05:52,826 --> 01:05:56,747 for some buggering reason has turned into a boring old fart? 1178 01:05:56,748 --> 01:05:59,668 Or your grandfather. Who's lived a rich and full 1179 01:05:59,669 --> 01:06:03,589 life and doesn't take shite from anybody? 1180 01:06:05,420 --> 01:06:07,087 You, Sorry, Dad. 1181 01:06:07,088 --> 01:06:10,718 There you go. Come on up here. There you go, up you go. 1182 01:06:10,719 --> 01:06:16,440 Wait. Come on. You. Too! If you're still my son. That is. 1183 01:06:16,764 --> 01:06:18,474 All right, on three. 1184 01:06:18,475 --> 01:06:23,447 One, two. Three. Yeah! that's it. 1185 01:06:28,943 --> 01:06:33,414 Well, somebody had their vitamins this morning. Huh? 1186 01:06:34,949 --> 01:06:38,118 You know. There are coconuts over there? 1187 01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:41,121 Great isn't it? There you go. 1188 01:06:41,122 --> 01:06:44,124 Beautiful. (COUGHS) Oh, dear. 1189 01:06:44,125 --> 01:06:45,217 All right, all right, all right. 1190 01:06:45,218 --> 01:06:49,671 That's good stuff. Put on some tunes, huh, guys? 1191 01:06:49,672 --> 01:06:53,091 Oh, look at this This is paradise, man. 1192 01:06:53,092 --> 01:06:54,218 You've ended up in paradise. 1193 01:06:54,219 --> 01:06:58,440 You know, they must be freezing their bollocks off in England. 1194 01:06:58,441 --> 01:07:00,775 (LAUGHS) 1195 01:07:01,142 --> 01:07:03,895 Why are you really here? 1196 01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:13,871 Well, Joan left me, silly cow, 1197 01:07:15,615 --> 01:07:18,492 Well, I'm sorry. 1198 01:07:18,493 --> 01:07:19,326 Truly. 1199 01:07:19,327 --> 01:07:24,333 Oh. Well, well that makes me feel so much better. 1200 01:07:24,832 --> 01:07:27,631 I mean, God almighty. Thank you for those 1201 01:07:27,632 --> 01:07:30,170 profound words of sympathy. 1202 01:07:30,171 --> 01:07:31,885 Well. It's a lot more than you 1203 01:07:31,886 --> 01:07:33,301 ever said when Kate left me. 1204 01:07:33,302 --> 01:07:35,017 Well, I warned you about her. 1205 01:07:35,018 --> 01:07:38,804 She was a rampant. Little Yankee trollop. 1206 01:07:38,805 --> 01:07:42,099 You know what, Dad? Of course. Joan left you. 1207 01:07:42,100 --> 01:07:44,603 You're a misanthropic, misogynistic assehole who 1208 01:07:44,604 --> 01:07:46,151 doesn't give a fuck about anybody, 1209 01:07:46,604 --> 01:07:51,151 least of all the poor saps who you got to marry you in the first place. 1210 01:07:51,733 --> 01:07:54,444 Is that it? Is that all you've got? 1211 01:07:54,445 --> 01:07:57,369 And you did it all in the name of some misguided credo called 1212 01:07:57,370 --> 01:08:01,618 fun. Which you brainwashed me with in the first place. 1213 01:08:01,619 --> 01:08:04,246 Guys, dig this song? 1214 01:08:04,247 --> 01:08:06,420 Bugger off! 1215 01:08:08,334 --> 01:08:10,428 That's it then. Is it. Boy Wonder? 1216 01:08:10,429 --> 01:08:15,007 So you finally got it off your chest, have you? 1217 01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:17,261 You know what, Dad? 1218 01:08:17,343 --> 01:08:20,813 Why don't you just bugger off for once. 1219 01:08:21,055 --> 01:08:21,805 For once. 1220 01:08:21,806 --> 01:08:26,186 Why don't you be the one to bugger off. 1221 01:08:55,673 --> 01:08:58,597 Brian, go back to my wife. 1222 01:08:58,801 --> 01:09:00,348 Go on. 1223 01:09:01,012 --> 01:09:01,928 Go on. 1224 01:09:01,929 --> 01:09:04,014 Just...just go back. 1225 01:09:04,015 --> 01:09:06,016 WENDY: Thank you for that wonderful sharing. 1226 01:09:06,017 --> 01:09:11,023 Seriously, this has been absolutely a marvelous session. 1227 01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:11,735 I've learned so much. 1228 01:09:11,736 --> 01:09:13,732 Give yourselves a big hand, everybody! 1229 01:09:13,733 --> 01:09:14,321 (APPLAUSE) 1230 01:09:14,322 --> 01:09:16,490 Wendy, I was wondering if you could sign my form to 1231 01:09:16,491 --> 01:09:19,740 show that I've done the 10 sessions? 1232 01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:24,294 I'm sorry, Richard, I can't. 1233 01:09:24,494 --> 01:09:29,500 Why? I mean, I came, I did the whole "I'm an alcoholic". 1234 01:09:29,832 --> 01:09:33,251 But it's not about just saying the words, 1235 01:09:33,252 --> 01:09:36,098 you have to actually mean them. 1236 01:09:42,430 --> 01:09:45,649 Great seeing you. Thanks so much. 1237 01:09:47,558 --> 01:09:49,643 Cindy, right? 1238 01:09:49,644 --> 01:09:51,645 I just spent the last week listening to that drivel. 1239 01:09:51,646 --> 01:09:54,024 So some witless, little ninny won't sign a piece of 1240 01:09:54,025 --> 01:09:58,276 paper to say I'm an okay kind of guy! Absolute bollocks. 1241 01:09:58,277 --> 01:10:00,530 Sorry. Excuse me. 1242 01:10:00,613 --> 01:10:01,910 Hey, you wanna get a drink? 1243 01:10:01,911 --> 01:10:06,082 Actually, maybe not, I've got a grueling lecture in an hour. 1244 01:10:06,160 --> 01:10:07,249 How about a joint? 1245 01:10:07,250 --> 01:10:10,624 Just kidding. Bad joke, I don't want my son to find it. 1246 01:10:10,625 --> 01:10:13,467 I don't touch the stuff, its my dad's. 1247 01:10:13,710 --> 01:10:15,587 He likes to puff. 1248 01:10:15,670 --> 01:10:16,091 Okay. 1249 01:10:16,092 --> 01:10:18,672 CINDY: Good luck with your lecture. 1250 01:10:18,673 --> 01:10:20,220 Thank you. 1251 01:10:27,181 --> 01:10:31,226 I want you all to imagine you're at Cambridge University. 1252 01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:32,561 The year is 1807. 1253 01:10:32,562 --> 01:10:36,066 You walk across the quad of Trinity College into the lecture 1254 01:10:36,067 --> 01:10:39,194 hall where you find your fellow classmate. Lord Byron. 1255 01:10:39,195 --> 01:10:44,199 Who in defiance of college rules about dogs has brought 1256 01:10:45,074 --> 01:10:48,374 a bear to class instead. 1257 01:11:03,009 --> 01:11:05,137 You know what? 1258 01:11:05,970 --> 01:11:07,220 Forget about that. 1259 01:11:07,221 --> 01:11:11,308 Why are the Romantics relevant today? 1260 01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:12,856 Hmm? 1261 01:11:14,729 --> 01:11:17,778 Honestly, they're not. 1262 01:11:19,484 --> 01:11:21,860 Stacy got It right. 1263 01:11:21,861 --> 01:11:24,865 And Dwight, he can't Stop thinking about homeruns and 1264 01:11:24,866 --> 01:11:29,119 fastballs when he reads Byron and Coleridge. 1265 01:11:33,247 --> 01:11:34,920 Because... 1266 01:11:35,082 --> 01:11:37,631 we're teaching words. 1267 01:11:38,503 --> 01:11:43,259 Words. But we're not teaching meaning. 1268 01:11:44,592 --> 01:11:47,260 I got it all wrong. 1269 01:11:47,261 --> 01:11:49,601 I can tell you about Byron and his bear. 1270 01:11:49,602 --> 01:11:51,941 Wordsworth falling in love with his cousin. 1271 01:11:51,942 --> 01:11:55,143 Coleridge falling in love with cocaine. 1272 01:11:55,144 --> 01:11:58,318 I can tell you what's behind the words from them. 1273 01:11:58,319 --> 01:12:02,319 But I can't tell you what's behind those words for you, 1274 01:12:02,610 --> 01:12:06,780 Because this class is about you. 1275 01:12:06,781 --> 01:12:09,785 Learning to find your own meaning. 1276 01:12:10,284 --> 01:12:12,833 Your own voices. 1277 01:12:14,747 --> 01:12:18,583 Go read the poems. But know this. That at this moment. 1278 01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:23,590 You are the Romantics. You are the relevant ones. 1279 01:12:23,881 --> 01:12:27,133 Let Byron, Coleridge, Wordsworth inspire you 1280 01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:30,262 to do your thing. To go your own way. 1281 01:12:30,263 --> 01:12:33,265 Stacy, quit texting. Call him, right now. 1282 01:12:33,266 --> 01:12:37,644 Dwight, go play ball. Ignore anyone who says no, you can't. 1283 01:12:37,645 --> 01:12:41,439 Follow your hearts. Do good things, be bold. 1284 01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:45,652 And above all else. Stick it to the man. 1285 01:12:45,653 --> 01:12:47,576 (CHUCKLES) 1286 01:12:48,239 --> 01:12:51,994 Well, Dad, I totally fucked up my audition lecture. 1287 01:12:51,995 --> 01:12:53,664 I stuck it to them, all right. 1288 01:12:53,665 --> 01:12:55,957 I stuck it to myself in the process, too. 1289 01:12:55,958 --> 01:12:59,175 Hey, listen, you silly old sod, you just bolted before I could 1290 01:12:59,176 --> 01:13:03,503 apologize, Why are you so thin-skinned these days? 1291 01:13:03,504 --> 01:13:07,134 All right, call me back. 1292 01:13:12,847 --> 01:13:15,020 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1293 01:13:21,230 --> 01:13:25,858 $4,000 should cover it. 1294 01:13:25,859 --> 01:13:26,817 What? 1295 01:13:26,859 --> 01:13:30,817 Your Mustang, Richard, it's got Sienna Red paint there all over the back fender. 1296 01:13:30,529 --> 01:13:32,073 Unmistakable. 1297 01:13:32,074 --> 01:13:36,369 1954 MG TFs do not come cheap, my friend. 1298 01:13:36,370 --> 01:13:39,164 Absolutely not. Can I give you a check? 1299 01:13:39,165 --> 01:13:41,338 I would prefer cash. 1300 01:13:44,836 --> 01:13:47,052 I want to be the first to congratulate you. 1301 01:13:47,053 --> 01:13:50,552 Welcome to the English department of the University of Los Angeles. 1302 01:13:50,553 --> 01:13:52,394 Yes! 1303 01:13:53,095 --> 01:13:54,387 Oh, good! 1304 01:13:54,388 --> 01:13:55,308 Oh, Thank you, boss. 1305 01:13:55,309 --> 01:13:57,559 I guess we'll do the other side as well. 1306 01:13:57,560 --> 01:13:58,934 Let's go have a pint. 1307 01:13:58,935 --> 01:14:01,188 A pint of what? Oil? 1308 01:14:01,646 --> 01:14:04,775 A pint of what... Witty. I'll always laugh at your jokes. 1309 01:14:11,489 --> 01:14:13,448 Hey! I got the job! 1310 01:14:13,449 --> 01:14:17,243 ULA! Knock it out of the ballpark. Home run. 1311 01:14:17,244 --> 01:14:18,289 Congratulations! 1312 01:14:18,290 --> 01:14:20,752 I feel fantastic! And I feel fantastic about you, 1313 01:14:20,753 --> 01:14:24,214 Now what we did. Making love... no. Listen. Please. Hear me out. 1314 01:14:24,215 --> 01:14:26,713 Kate and I have been separated for two years! 1315 01:14:26,714 --> 01:14:29,089 Why should we feel bad? We're grown-ups, You know. 1316 01:14:29,090 --> 01:14:32,390 And if Kare doesn't like it, she can bloody well just go... 1317 01:14:32,391 --> 01:14:37,482 hey. You! Ah, Brian. Okay, okay, in the vault. 1318 01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:41,644 Oh, Kate. 1319 01:14:43,854 --> 01:14:45,948 Olivia. 1320 01:14:46,774 --> 01:14:49,027 My best friend. 1321 01:14:49,610 --> 01:14:52,112 Total trust. 1322 01:14:52,113 --> 01:14:54,447 No secrets! 1323 01:14:54,448 --> 01:14:55,290 We... we we're going to... 1324 01:14:55,291 --> 01:14:58,451 You know what? If you want him, take him, 1325 01:14:58,452 --> 01:15:01,126 but get out of my house! 1326 01:15:01,247 --> 01:15:04,467 Well, now, maybe... okay. 1327 01:15:39,035 --> 01:15:40,503 Thank you. 1328 01:15:41,162 --> 01:15:43,631 Ernesto, sorry I'm late. 1329 01:15:43,748 --> 01:15:44,795 Where's your wife? 1330 01:15:44,796 --> 01:15:47,964 Not coming. She sends her regards. 1331 01:15:49,295 --> 01:15:51,591 Okay, strike one. She's not here. 1332 01:15:51,592 --> 01:15:54,136 Strike two, you failed the recovery program. 1333 01:15:54,137 --> 01:15:57,888 We may be 0-2, but were gonna swing for the fences on 1334 01:15:57,889 --> 01:15:59,429 the University of Los Angeles. 1335 01:15:59,430 --> 01:16:01,603 - Morning, Officer Lewis. - OFFICER LEWIS: Why has it taken 1336 01:16:01,604 --> 01:16:03,770 nearly three years to schedule this interview? 1337 01:16:03,771 --> 01:16:06,362 Well, my client never received all of the 1338 01:16:06,363 --> 01:16:08,697 notifications from ICE. 1339 01:16:09,023 --> 01:16:11,483 Is this your handwriting, Mr. Haig? 1340 01:16:11,484 --> 01:16:15,739 Some of it is. Some of it's also my son's... 1341 01:16:15,863 --> 01:16:18,364 working on his cursive. 1342 01:16:18,365 --> 01:16:20,584 Can you explain this? 1343 01:16:20,785 --> 01:16:22,456 Yes, well, that's not my fault. 1344 01:16:22,457 --> 01:16:23,873 Painkillers, dental surgery. 1345 01:16:23,874 --> 01:16:26,706 My client's done 10 sessions of a recovery program 1346 01:16:26,707 --> 01:16:27,707 to show his good character. 1347 01:16:27,708 --> 01:16:29,301 LEWIS: Where's the lefter of completion? 1348 01:16:29,302 --> 01:16:31,637 In the mail, with "bew-locks" written on it? 1349 01:16:31,638 --> 01:16:34,881 It's "bollocks," actually. 1350 01:16:34,882 --> 01:16:37,180 Officer Armstrong? 1351 01:16:42,056 --> 01:16:47,529 Please describe how Mr. Haig tried to offer you marijuana. 1352 01:16:48,687 --> 01:16:52,533 CINDY: The other night, as I was leaving the recovery center. 1353 01:16:52,534 --> 01:16:56,569 Mr. Haig asked me if I wanted some marijuana.. 1354 01:16:56,570 --> 01:16:59,447 Under California law. 1355 01:16:59,448 --> 01:17:03,576 Distribution of marijuana is a felony. 1356 01:17:03,577 --> 01:17:04,953 That's true. 1357 01:17:04,954 --> 01:17:08,832 What is it you say. Mr. Haig? Cheerios? 1358 01:17:08,833 --> 01:17:11,928 RICHARD: There you have it. The whole sorry saga. 1359 01:17:11,929 --> 01:17:17,426 Ernesto did do one thing to justify his exorbitant fee. 1360 01:17:18,342 --> 01:17:21,562 He got me this one hour with you. 1361 01:17:21,679 --> 01:17:24,931 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Jake. 1362 01:17:24,932 --> 01:17:25,979 OFFICER: Time's up. 1363 01:17:25,980 --> 01:17:30,446 Jake, please. I really am so sorry. 1364 01:17:33,399 --> 01:17:37,324 I love you. Do you hear me? I am so sorry. 1365 01:18:19,361 --> 01:18:22,991 "That is no country for old men. 1366 01:18:24,283 --> 01:18:30,256 "The young in one another's arms. Birds in the trees. 1367 01:18:30,664 --> 01:18:34,794 "Those dying generations at their song" 1368 01:18:35,085 --> 01:18:37,170 So what's Yeats saying here? 1369 01:18:37,171 --> 01:18:40,892 He's a 60-year-old man looking at young people, screwing and 1370 01:18:40,893 --> 01:18:45,511 living, blissfully unthinking about their own mortality. 1371 01:18:45,512 --> 01:18:48,348 Yeats knows he's just an aged man. 1372 01:18:48,349 --> 01:18:53,651 But his dreams are of Byzantium. 1373 01:18:57,191 --> 01:19:00,944 (CELL PHONE VIBRATES) 1374 01:19:00,945 --> 01:19:01,444 Hello? 1375 01:19:01,445 --> 01:19:02,445 HOSPITAL WORKER: This is Memorial General, 1376 01:19:02,446 --> 01:19:05,416 we need to talk to you about your father. 1377 01:19:40,025 --> 01:19:44,201 What the buggering hell are you doing here? 1378 01:19:44,321 --> 01:19:46,531 You hate hospitals. 1379 01:19:46,532 --> 01:19:51,538 GORDON: I do, I hate bloody hospitals. 1380 01:19:52,037 --> 01:19:54,747 But I love the nurses. 1381 01:19:54,748 --> 01:19:56,591 (CHUCKLES) 1382 01:20:00,754 --> 01:20:03,633 How's my little Jake? 1383 01:20:06,302 --> 01:20:08,646 He's all right, Dad. 1384 01:20:10,306 --> 01:20:12,354 You know I... 1385 01:20:12,808 --> 01:20:16,858 I don't think I could have done what you did. 1386 01:20:17,604 --> 01:20:22,576 You stuck with that boy through all the muck and bullets, 1387 01:20:25,487 --> 01:20:29,492 You're a better man than I, Gunga Din. 1388 01:20:34,121 --> 01:20:37,123 I don't know about that, Dad. 1389 01:20:37,124 --> 01:20:41,711 You still shagging the... Yank totty's sister, are we? 1390 01:20:41,712 --> 01:20:44,306 No, I blew that one. 1391 01:20:45,632 --> 01:20:49,052 Threw away a pearl beyond price. 1392 01:20:49,053 --> 01:20:54,731 And tony. And totty's sister. None of us are talking, 1393 01:20:55,559 --> 01:20:57,812 It's all a big mess. 1394 01:21:03,609 --> 01:21:08,615 Marvelous bloody place, though, isn't it? Californ-i-a? 1395 01:21:08,655 --> 01:21:10,123 Mm-hm. 1396 01:21:10,866 --> 01:21:14,494 Sunshine, beaches and girls.Yeah. 1397 01:21:14,495 --> 01:21:16,543 (CHUCKLES) 1398 01:21:17,039 --> 01:21:18,664 Marijuana. 1399 01:21:18,665 --> 01:21:23,341 God, how the buggering hell did I miss out on all that for so long? 1400 01:21:23,504 --> 01:21:25,177 You came. 1401 01:21:26,006 --> 01:21:28,350 You saw it once. 1402 01:21:30,928 --> 01:21:33,681 It all goes so fast. 1403 01:21:35,391 --> 01:21:39,646 These buggers here, they don't think I've got long. 1404 01:21:42,314 --> 01:21:46,535 Well, it's all a load of bullocks, really. 1405 01:21:46,985 --> 01:21:48,282 What is? 1406 01:21:48,654 --> 01:21:53,876 You know, there's nothing honorable in misery, Richard. 1407 01:21:55,202 --> 01:21:57,580 Carpe diem! 1408 01:21:58,122 --> 01:22:00,841 Boff and be merry! 1409 01:22:01,250 --> 01:22:05,005 Now listen. You listen to me carefully, 1410 01:22:05,879 --> 01:22:07,347 This might be the most- 1411 01:22:07,348 --> 01:22:11,560 BOTH: important bit of advice I'll ever give you. 1412 01:22:16,348 --> 01:22:21,445 For God's sake, man. Go and get your bloody girl. 1413 01:22:21,979 --> 01:22:23,572 Go on. 1414 01:22:24,231 --> 01:22:26,450 Bugger off. 1415 01:22:38,579 --> 01:22:40,377 Hey, Richard... 1416 01:22:42,749 --> 01:22:45,548 You remember my epitaph. 1417 01:22:46,920 --> 01:22:49,548 Of course I do, Dad. 1418 01:22:50,382 --> 01:22:52,885 Of course I do. 1419 01:23:29,713 --> 01:23:33,138 (THUNDER AND RAIN) 1420 01:23:53,862 --> 01:23:57,532 Byzantium is the place he longs for, 1421 01:23:57,533 --> 01:24:00,201 He needs to make this journey. 1422 01:24:00,202 --> 01:24:03,329 I'm goibg to sort this all out. I promise you. 1423 01:24:03,330 --> 01:24:06,004 - Okay, Jake? - How? 1424 01:24:07,668 --> 01:24:10,797 I'll Skype you tomorrow, okay? 1425 01:24:18,262 --> 01:24:19,601 Is she talking to Olivia yet? 1426 01:24:19,602 --> 01:24:22,348 Olivia's book launches here next week and Kate 1427 01:24:22,349 --> 01:24:26,102 isn't even going. She's icing everyone out. Even me. 1428 01:24:26,103 --> 01:24:28,980 All right, see ya, Brian. 1429 01:24:28,981 --> 01:24:32,235 RICHARD: Yeats knows that unless he makes this journey, 1430 01:24:32,236 --> 01:24:36,445 Unless he defies logic and authority. 1431 01:24:36,446 --> 01:24:41,327 Unless his soul claps hands and sings out loud. 1432 01:24:44,121 --> 01:24:50,424 He is nothing more than a tattered coat upon a stick. 1433 01:25:11,815 --> 01:25:13,692 (LAUGHS) 1434 01:25:19,615 --> 01:25:21,913 You old bugger. 1435 01:25:25,037 --> 01:25:32,756 There is a country for old men. If not now, When? 1436 01:25:28,123 --> 01:25:31,377 (CONNECTING TONE) 1437 01:25:33,629 --> 01:25:38,510 Ernesto, Richard Haig. Cómo está? 1438 01:26:35,941 --> 01:26:38,488 Adios! Adios, amigos. 1439 01:26:48,954 --> 01:26:50,046 JAKE: Hey, Dad. 1440 01:26:50,047 --> 01:26:50,788 Hi, Jakey. 1441 01:26:50,789 --> 01:26:53,958 Go to the door and tell me what you see, 1442 01:26:53,959 --> 01:26:55,836 Okay. 1443 01:27:03,051 --> 01:27:07,352 Oh, look at you, boy. Oh! Look at you. 1444 01:27:07,723 --> 01:27:09,475 Richie! 1445 01:27:11,268 --> 01:27:15,438 Thank god you're here, dude! Oh, thank god. Thank god. 1446 01:27:15,439 --> 01:27:19,613 - You can let go now, Brian. That's okay. - Okay, All right, Okay. 1447 01:27:19,234 --> 01:27:22,613 JAKE: Can you believe it, Mom? He's really here. 1448 01:27:22,614 --> 01:27:25,823 - Hi, Kate. - Hey. How did you get here? 1449 01:27:25,824 --> 01:27:27,825 Uh. I just came across the border. 1450 01:27:27,826 --> 01:27:29,285 It's an old trick of mine. 1451 01:27:29,286 --> 01:27:30,206 What if you get caught? 1452 01:27:30,207 --> 01:27:32,877 I won't, I'll be gone before they know it. 1453 01:27:32,878 --> 01:27:35,374 Hey. Remember my lawyer. Ernesto? 1454 01:27:35,375 --> 01:27:38,461 He's gonna sort this whole mess out. Okay? 1455 01:27:38,462 --> 01:27:38,928 Yay! 1456 01:27:38,929 --> 01:27:41,093 Don't you worry, It's only going to cost me a fortune. 1457 01:27:41,094 --> 01:27:44,967 And look, Kate, we can't keep going like this. 1458 01:27:44,968 --> 01:27:49,895 I mean, Jake, he needs his mom and dad to be adults, right? 1459 01:27:50,515 --> 01:27:52,017 Yeah. 1460 01:27:52,893 --> 01:27:56,562 Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry we hurt you. 1461 01:27:56,563 --> 01:28:00,818 Olivia wanted to tell you, and it was my fault she didn't. 1462 01:28:01,109 --> 01:28:02,907 But you're sisters, come on. 1463 01:28:02,908 --> 01:28:05,321 Cut her some slack. 1464 01:28:05,322 --> 01:28:08,073 Life is so short, Kate. 1465 01:28:08,074 --> 01:28:11,453 Like my dad used to say, carpe diem. 1466 01:28:11,953 --> 01:28:14,957 Let's boff and be merry. 1467 01:28:16,874 --> 01:28:19,875 - Okay. - Great. 1468 01:28:19,585 --> 01:28:22,635 Great. And one last thing... 1469 01:28:22,923 --> 01:28:25,591 can I take a shower? Please? 1470 01:28:25,592 --> 01:28:26,467 BRIAN: He really stinks. 1471 01:28:26,468 --> 01:28:27,927 (CLINKING GLASSES) 1472 01:28:27,928 --> 01:28:29,646 Thank you everybody for coming. 1473 01:28:29,647 --> 01:28:34,183 I would like to thank my agent Tim Prince. 1474 01:28:34,184 --> 01:28:39,190 I would also like to thank my ex-brother-in-law Richard. 1475 01:28:40,440 --> 01:28:42,525 He was the inspiration for the 1476 01:28:42,526 --> 01:28:47,532 burnt-out recovering alcoholic cop who saves the day. 1477 01:28:47,739 --> 01:28:49,073 (LAUGHTER) 1478 01:28:49,074 --> 01:28:52,453 Although he doesn't know it, so let's not tell him. 1479 01:28:52,454 --> 01:28:57,289 And lastly, I would like to thank somebody very special to 1480 01:28:57,290 --> 01:29:00,209 me who couldn't be here today. 1481 01:29:00,210 --> 01:29:04,590 Which is nobody's fault but mine. 1482 01:29:32,217 --> 01:29:34,717 All right, Here we are. 1483 01:29:48,216 --> 01:29:49,889 KATE: Hey. 1484 01:29:53,847 --> 01:29:55,848 I'm so sorry. 1485 01:29:55,849 --> 01:29:58,851 - So sorry. - I'm sorry. Too. 1486 01:29:58,852 --> 01:30:01,981 Let's never fight again, okay? 1487 01:30:02,898 --> 01:30:04,900 Come here. 1488 01:30:13,366 --> 01:30:14,709 Let's go back inside. 1489 01:30:14,710 --> 01:30:17,077 Just give me a minute, all right. 1490 01:30:17,078 --> 01:30:18,546 Okay. 1491 01:30:28,548 --> 01:30:30,550 RICHARD: Hi. 1492 01:30:31,885 --> 01:30:33,512 You came! 1493 01:30:34,012 --> 01:30:36,060 I came, Piece of cake. 1494 01:30:39,434 --> 01:30:41,937 I came because I love you. 1495 01:30:43,688 --> 01:30:46,692 I came because I need you. 1496 01:30:47,192 --> 01:30:49,526 I need my son. 1497 01:30:49,527 --> 01:30:51,779 I need my family. 1498 01:30:51,780 --> 01:30:53,953 That's why I came. 1499 01:30:55,951 --> 01:30:58,494 You want to hear something crazy. 1500 01:30:58,495 --> 01:30:59,411 What? 1501 01:30:59,412 --> 01:31:01,580 I knew you'd come. 1502 01:31:01,581 --> 01:31:04,207 - It's irrational. - It's romantic. 1503 01:31:04,376 --> 01:31:10,759 You and I, we've only had moments. Now we have time. 1504 01:31:35,156 --> 01:31:39,912 I spent my whole life in opposition to this man. 1505 01:31:41,538 --> 01:31:45,259 Honestly, he never did a bloody thing for me. 1506 01:31:45,917 --> 01:31:48,215 Except this. 1507 01:31:49,129 --> 01:31:52,474 Asking me to scatter his ashes here. 1508 01:31:54,968 --> 01:31:57,391 And it saved my life... 1509 01:31:58,471 --> 01:32:00,940 because it brought me back to the people 1510 01:32:00,941 --> 01:32:03,435 I love most in this world. 1511 01:32:09,065 --> 01:32:10,649 Even you, Brian. 1512 01:32:10,650 --> 01:32:12,901 You're the man, Richard. 1513 01:32:12,902 --> 01:32:15,154 Well, there comes a time. And there's always a time. 1514 01:32:15,155 --> 01:32:17,123 And I guess this is the time. 1515 01:32:17,124 --> 01:32:20,961 So. Jakey, shall we set Grandpa free? 1516 01:32:30,128 --> 01:32:32,051 Okay, Dad... 1517 01:32:32,839 --> 01:32:35,137 enjoy paradise! 1518 01:32:42,390 --> 01:32:45,309 JAKE: So, how long are you staying? 1519 01:32:45,310 --> 01:32:47,978 Okay, Jakey. Listen to me here. 1520 01:32:47,979 --> 01:32:51,279 I have to sort out a few things first. 1521 01:32:51,858 --> 01:32:56,955 But maybe marrying your aunt might help. 1522 01:33:00,283 --> 01:33:01,700 What? 1523 01:33:01,701 --> 01:33:03,920 Well. I am down on one knee. 1524 01:33:06,623 --> 01:33:09,583 Then get up and kiss me again. 1525 01:33:09,584 --> 01:33:13,259 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1526 01:33:28,554 --> 01:33:31,932 Up and away we set off 1527 01:33:32,558 --> 01:33:36,270 Secretly scared we'd get lost 1528 01:33:36,770 --> 01:33:40,799 Up in the clouds, over the town 1529 01:33:40,899 --> 01:33:44,111 Beyond the wall 1530 01:33:44,903 --> 01:33:48,490 Some of us knew we might fall 1531 01:33:49,074 --> 01:33:52,619 Under the weight of it all 1532 01:33:52,995 --> 01:33:57,107 And though we'd been warned of the oncoming storms 1533 01:33:57,207 --> 01:34:00,169 Still we stood tall 1534 01:34:01,295 --> 01:34:05,174 Soar from the moonlight 1535 01:34:05,299 --> 01:34:09,386 Straight to the sunrise 1536 01:34:09,511 --> 01:34:13,348 This will be our time 1537 01:34:13,474 --> 01:34:17,711 To free-fall and nose-dive 1538 01:34:17,811 --> 01:34:21,690 Out of the black night 1539 01:34:21,815 --> 01:34:25,594 Into the bright light 1540 01:34:25,694 --> 01:34:29,615 With the whole world in our sight 1541 01:34:29,740 --> 01:34:34,119 Like a miniature paradise 1542 01:34:36,246 --> 01:34:38,290 Yeah 1543 01:34:50,344 --> 01:34:53,847 My shadow is cast on the ground 1544 01:34:54,473 --> 01:34:58,310 I'm flying too fast to look down 1545 01:34:58,560 --> 01:35:00,671 At the rooftops and trees 1546 01:35:00,771 --> 01:35:05,692 And my family waving at me 1547 01:35:06,902 --> 01:35:10,848 Soar from the moonlight 1548 01:35:10,948 --> 01:35:15,118 Straight to the sunrise 1549 01:35:15,244 --> 01:35:19,106 This will be our time 1550 01:35:19,206 --> 01:35:23,293 To free-fall and nose-dive 1551 01:35:23,418 --> 01:35:27,447 Out of the black night 1552 01:35:27,547 --> 01:35:31,159 Into the bright light 1553 01:35:31,259 --> 01:35:35,222 With the whole world in our sight 1554 01:35:35,347 --> 01:35:39,351 Like a miniature paradise 1555 01:36:16,013 --> 01:36:20,559 I go crazy sometimes 1556 01:36:20,976 --> 01:36:24,187 Can you believe it? 1557 01:36:25,814 --> 01:36:28,675 Yeah, I swear I'm fine 1558 01:36:28,775 --> 01:36:33,613 That I'm all right but I'm barely breathing 1559 01:36:34,990 --> 01:36:39,035 Thought I could find my way back home 1560 01:36:39,536 --> 01:36:42,998 But I get lost alone 1561 01:36:43,623 --> 01:36:45,834 But when I'm with you 1562 01:36:45,959 --> 01:36:48,111 I'm no longer wandering 1563 01:36:48,211 --> 01:36:52,716 And when I'm with you I swear I can breathe 1564 01:36:52,841 --> 01:36:54,743 And when I'm with you 1565 01:36:54,843 --> 01:36:59,973 I know who I am and who I want to be 1566 01:37:06,104 --> 01:37:09,900 I'm not trying to be dramatic, no 1567 01:37:10,400 --> 01:37:14,029 Most times I'm pretty normal 1568 01:37:16,031 --> 01:37:20,243 Oh, let's be clear and honest here 1569 01:37:20,368 --> 01:37:24,247 And do away with anything formal 1570 01:37:25,165 --> 01:37:29,444 I can fake it on my own 1571 01:37:29,544 --> 01:37:33,465 But I am lost alone 1572 01:37:33,798 --> 01:37:35,951 'Cause when I'm with you 1573 01:37:36,051 --> 01:37:38,245 I'm no longer wandering 1574 01:37:38,345 --> 01:37:42,791 And when I'm with you I swear I can breathe 1575 01:37:42,891 --> 01:37:44,835 And when I'm with you 1576 01:37:44,935 --> 01:37:50,065 I know who I am and who I want to be 1577 01:37:56,279 --> 01:37:59,115 Who I want to be 1578 01:38:08,291 --> 01:38:12,671 But I am wide-eyed 1579 01:38:13,046 --> 01:38:15,757 With a pension for running 1580 01:38:15,882 --> 01:38:18,677 But how many times does it take 1581 01:38:18,802 --> 01:38:21,329 Till I find that I'm lost 1582 01:38:21,429 --> 01:38:24,516 When I'm alone 1583 01:38:24,641 --> 01:38:28,336 And that's not where I belong 1584 01:38:28,436 --> 01:38:30,647 'Cause when I'm with you 1585 01:38:30,772 --> 01:38:33,175 I'm no longer wandering 1586 01:38:33,275 --> 01:38:37,596 When I'm with you I can finally breathe 1587 01:38:37,696 --> 01:38:39,890 When I'm with you 1588 01:38:39,990 --> 01:38:42,267 I swear to God 1589 01:38:42,367 --> 01:38:47,289 I swear to God I'm who I wanna be 1590 01:38:48,331 --> 01:38:50,567 I'm who I 1591 01:38:50,667 --> 01:38:53,962 I'm who I wanna be 1592 01:38:59,801 --> 01:39:03,096 I'm who I wanna be 1593 01:39:06,599 --> 01:39:08,710 I'm who I 1594 01:39:08,810 --> 01:39:12,480 I'm who I wanna be