1
00:00:19,875 --> 00:00:20,835
First of all,

2
00:00:21,316 --> 00:00:23,235
i want to thank
everybody for coming.

3
00:00:23,236 --> 00:00:24,675
Giving up your lunch hours
and all that.

4
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:27,555
And, lord knows,
very exciting for all of us.

5
00:00:27,556 --> 00:00:28,515
Happy to be here.

6
00:00:28,516 --> 00:00:29,475
Oh, me, too.

7
00:00:29,476 --> 00:00:31,396
Absolutely. And let's just
get our hands right into it.

8
00:00:31,397 --> 00:00:32,394
Who wants to start us off?

9
00:00:32,837 --> 00:00:33,796
I'll be happy to start.

10
00:00:33,797 --> 00:00:35,236
You know what? Gwen,
why don't you start us off?

11
00:00:35,237 --> 00:00:36,196
Ok. Sure...

12
00:00:36,197 --> 00:00:37,156
you don't need
the pointer here, do you?

13
00:00:37,157 --> 00:00:38,597
No. I don't need
the pointer. Thanks.

14
00:00:38,598 --> 00:00:39,557
I'll just hold on to it, then.

15
00:00:39,558 --> 00:00:40,517
Oh, she's fine. Gwen?

16
00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:41,957
There is a concern that i have

17
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:43,398
that i think needs addressing

18
00:00:43,399 --> 00:00:45,318
is that we can't have
the port-a-potties

19
00:00:45,319 --> 00:00:46,758
too far off the main route,

20
00:00:46,759 --> 00:00:48,199
because we do have
a lot of seniors.

21
00:00:48,679 --> 00:00:50,119
Uh, we've solved that.

22
00:00:50,119 --> 00:00:51,558
We're gonna take
the port-a-potties

23
00:00:51,559 --> 00:00:52,999
and put 'em right over here.

24
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,439
They're not gonna
be in the way.

25
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:55,879
We're gonna put a receptacle

26
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,320
over near arts and crafts.

27
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,374
This is the big bins
you're talking about?

28
00:00:59,721 --> 00:01:00,680
We've got barrels, too.

29
00:01:00,681 --> 00:01:02,600
And we're gonna put
the barrels on every corner.

30
00:01:02,601 --> 00:01:04,040
Wait a minute.
That's... that's the crate?

31
00:01:04,041 --> 00:01:05,481
That's the big
barrel, 'cause you got

32
00:01:05,481 --> 00:01:07,401
the pie-eating going on
right over here.

33
00:01:07,402 --> 00:01:08,840
It's more of a dumpster
than a barrel.

34
00:01:08,841 --> 00:01:09,801
That's another thing.
If anything happens

35
00:01:09,802 --> 00:01:11,241
like last year
with that pie-eating...

36
00:01:11,242 --> 00:01:14,601
which brings me
to a point... security.

37
00:01:14,602 --> 00:01:15,561
Oh, god.

38
00:01:15,562 --> 00:01:18,922
Security. I say
we put a rifle on here,

39
00:01:18,923 --> 00:01:21,803
a man with a rifle here,
and a rifle here.

40
00:01:21,804 --> 00:01:22,763
Protect the whole square.

41
00:01:22,764 --> 00:01:23,724
Is that really necessary?

42
00:01:24,203 --> 00:01:26,123
Yes. Remember how much
we got egged last year?

43
00:01:26,124 --> 00:01:27,084
Absolutely.

44
00:01:27,564 --> 00:01:29,485
What can i tell you?
We're pleased as punch.

45
00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:31,405
We... we are so proud.

46
00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,324
We know that
whatever we do here

47
00:01:33,325 --> 00:01:35,244
is a first for blaine
and a first for missouri,

48
00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:37,165
that whatever we do
is going to be the standard

49
00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:40,525
against which all other
sesquicentennials...

50
00:01:40,526 --> 00:01:43,405
that's the 150...
will be judged.

51
00:01:43,406 --> 00:01:46,285
The people of blaine
are can-do people.

52
00:01:46,286 --> 00:01:47,726
In fact, you know, there's
an old saying in missouri

53
00:01:47,727 --> 00:01:50,606
if you don't like the weather,
just wait 5 minutes.

54
00:01:50,607 --> 00:01:54,447
In blaine, i honestly
believe with hard work,

55
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,367
we can get that down
to 3 or 4 minutes.

56
00:01:56,368 --> 00:01:58,687
Here in our
sesquicentennial year,

57
00:01:58,688 --> 00:02:00,127
we've got a lot to talk about.

58
00:02:00,128 --> 00:02:01,568
There's a lot to be proud of.

59
00:02:01,569 --> 00:02:03,008
And we're very proud of it,

60
00:02:03,008 --> 00:02:03,968
and i think it's about time

61
00:02:03,969 --> 00:02:05,408
that the world
knows more about blaine.

62
00:02:05,409 --> 00:02:06,368
We're chomping at the bit,

63
00:02:06,369 --> 00:02:08,289
certainly from this end,
to get it out there.

64
00:02:08,290 --> 00:02:12,129
It all started
with blaine fabin.

65
00:02:12,130 --> 00:02:14,049
He was hired by 30 settlers

66
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:16,930
to lead a wagon-train expedition
from philadelphia to california.

67
00:02:16,931 --> 00:02:18,370
Uh, on the 14th night,

68
00:02:18,851 --> 00:02:20,770
word has it they were
sitting around the campfire,

69
00:02:20,771 --> 00:02:23,170
and blaine said,
"do you smell it?

70
00:02:23,171 --> 00:02:25,090
Do you smell the salt
in the air?"

71
00:02:25,091 --> 00:02:27,011
He said, "we're here.
I brought you to california."

72
00:02:27,012 --> 00:02:28,931
And so there was
a big party that night.

73
00:02:28,932 --> 00:02:31,332
And the next morning,
they got up. Uh...

74
00:02:31,333 --> 00:02:32,772
they didn't see the ocean

75
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:35,172
because they were in missouri.

76
00:02:35,173 --> 00:02:38,532
Uh, blaine was able to convince
them for a little while

77
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:39,974
that it was just low tide
and things,

78
00:02:40,453 --> 00:02:42,373
but what had happened was
that he had made some mistakes.

79
00:02:42,374 --> 00:02:45,253
Bad weather. Wasrt familiar,
perhaps, with the proper route.

80
00:02:45,254 --> 00:02:46,213
But as it turns out,

81
00:02:46,214 --> 00:02:48,133
everybody was quite happy
to be where they were.

82
00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:50,054
So they said, "it's ok we didn't
make it to california.

83
00:02:50,055 --> 00:02:51,014
We'll stay here."

84
00:02:51,015 --> 00:02:53,415
And that's why
i'm at this desk.

85
00:02:53,416 --> 00:02:56,775
Well, i'm very proud to say
that i'm a direct descendant

86
00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:57,736
of blaine fabin.

87
00:02:58,216 --> 00:03:00,135
I've lived here all my life.

88
00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:02,536
As did my parents
and their parents

89
00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:04,457
and their parents
and their parents

90
00:03:04,937 --> 00:03:05,896
and so on and so forth.

91
00:03:05,897 --> 00:03:08,777
I'm very excited about
the show coming up,

92
00:03:08,778 --> 00:03:10,698
because it'll be the first time

93
00:03:11,177 --> 00:03:14,057
i'll have the experience
of sitting in the audience

94
00:03:14,058 --> 00:03:18,378
and seeing actors portray
my ancestor...

95
00:03:18,379 --> 00:03:21,258
the... the actual
blaine fabin.

96
00:03:21,259 --> 00:03:24,618
Being a fabin
is not always easy.

97
00:03:24,619 --> 00:03:28,459
Um, i can certainly understand
how the kennedys feel.

98
00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:31,820
I had been living in new york

99
00:03:31,821 --> 00:03:34,219
and working there
as an actor and director

100
00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:36,620
and choreographer
for 25 years or so,

101
00:03:36,621 --> 00:03:39,020
and i really felt
i needed a change.

102
00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:41,421
I imagined, in my fantasy,
i suppose,

103
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,821
that when i came here,

104
00:03:43,822 --> 00:03:46,223
i would have a completely
different life.

105
00:03:46,702 --> 00:03:49,102
Uh, perhaps, um...

106
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,542
a construction worker

107
00:03:50,543 --> 00:03:51,982
or one of those guys

108
00:03:51,983 --> 00:03:55,823
that works on those
high-wire things that, uh...

109
00:03:55,824 --> 00:03:56,783
with the hard hat.

110
00:03:56,784 --> 00:03:59,183
You know,
that sweeping sort of hat.

111
00:03:59,184 --> 00:04:01,585
And, uh, with the chaps.

112
00:04:02,064 --> 00:04:03,984
But that didn't really
work out.

113
00:04:04,465 --> 00:04:05,904
I began to realize, i guess,

114
00:04:05,905 --> 00:04:08,304
that the theater
was still in my blood,

115
00:04:08,305 --> 00:04:11,185
and what i had to do was
make use of that,

116
00:04:11,186 --> 00:04:15,025
so i offered my services
to the high school here,

117
00:04:15,026 --> 00:04:16,465
and they accepted,

118
00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:18,385
and i began to teach drama.

119
00:04:18,386 --> 00:04:20,306
And within about 6 months,

120
00:04:20,306 --> 00:04:22,706
i had formed
the blaine community players.

121
00:04:22,707 --> 00:04:23,666
I got to tell you,

122
00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:25,587
we are very, very excited
about the big show

123
00:04:25,588 --> 00:04:27,987
that's happening
at the end of the festival.

124
00:04:27,988 --> 00:04:30,387
Everyone right now
is just going crazy

125
00:04:30,388 --> 00:04:31,827
getting ready to audition.

126
00:04:31,828 --> 00:04:34,228
And unfortunately
i won't be able to audition.

127
00:04:34,229 --> 00:04:37,108
We have to stock that day
and can't get out of it.

128
00:04:37,109 --> 00:04:40,468
And corky will not let me
audition any other time.

129
00:04:40,469 --> 00:04:42,388
So, "that's show business,"
is what he told me,

130
00:04:42,389 --> 00:04:44,789
and, uh, you know,
he's the master.

131
00:04:44,790 --> 00:04:46,229
You gotta give him credit
for that.

132
00:04:46,230 --> 00:04:48,149
President mckinley
did a whistle-stop tour

133
00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:50,069
back in 1898.

134
00:04:50,070 --> 00:04:51,991
And a little boy, jimmy mcbean,

135
00:04:52,471 --> 00:04:53,430
made a stool for him.

136
00:04:53,431 --> 00:04:55,830
And he loved it so much
that he called back,

137
00:04:55,831 --> 00:04:57,826
and said, "lookit, i would
like to give more of these

138
00:04:58,232 --> 00:04:59,671
to dignitaries
who are visiting."

139
00:04:59,672 --> 00:05:01,112
And before you knew it,

140
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:04,952
blaine is manufacturing
all these footstools.

141
00:05:04,953 --> 00:05:06,872
And that's how the big...

142
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:09,272
that's how we got
the stool boom.

143
00:05:09,273 --> 00:05:13,112
Blaine became the stool capital
of the world.

144
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,154
My first show
wasbarefoot in the park,

145
00:05:15,155 --> 00:05:17,553
which was an absolute smash,

146
00:05:17,554 --> 00:05:19,954
but my production
on the stage ofbackdraft

147
00:05:19,955 --> 00:05:21,874
was what really
got them excited.

148
00:05:21,875 --> 00:05:25,716
This whole idea of
in-your-face theater

149
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,635
really affected them.

150
00:05:27,636 --> 00:05:30,035
The conceptualization,
the whole abstraction,

151
00:05:30,036 --> 00:05:32,436
the obtuseness
of this production to me

152
00:05:32,437 --> 00:05:33,877
was what was interesting.

153
00:05:34,357 --> 00:05:38,197
I wanted the audience
to feel the heat from the fire,

154
00:05:38,198 --> 00:05:41,558
the fear... because people
don't like fire poked,

155
00:05:42,038 --> 00:05:43,477
poked in their noses.

156
00:05:43,478 --> 00:05:45,166
You know, when you get
a cinder from barbecue

157
00:05:45,398 --> 00:05:45,879
right on the end of your nose

158
00:05:46,358 --> 00:05:48,277
and you kind of make
that little face.

159
00:05:48,278 --> 00:05:49,718
That's not a good thing.

160
00:05:49,719 --> 00:05:52,119
I wanted to have
the sense memory of that.

161
00:05:52,599 --> 00:05:54,519
So during the show,

162
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,959
i had someone burn newspapers

163
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,839
and... and send it through
the vents in the theater.

164
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,760
Well, they freaked out.

165
00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:03,160
Of course, the fire marshal
came over,

166
00:06:03,161 --> 00:06:05,561
and they shut us down
for a couple of days.

167
00:06:06,041 --> 00:06:07,000
Mr. Bluestein,

168
00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:08,921
montezuma's revenge
is nothing more

169
00:06:08,922 --> 00:06:11,801
than good old-fashioned
american diarrhea.

170
00:06:11,802 --> 00:06:12,761
Adult diapers

171
00:06:12,762 --> 00:06:15,161
should never even
enter the picture.

172
00:06:15,162 --> 00:06:18,522
So you lose a few pounds.

173
00:06:18,523 --> 00:06:20,442
My mom used to say that blaine

174
00:06:20,443 --> 00:06:22,362
is a little town
with a big heart

175
00:06:22,363 --> 00:06:24,763
in the heart of a big country.

176
00:06:25,244 --> 00:06:26,683
And, to me, blaine
is a kind of town

177
00:06:27,164 --> 00:06:30,523
where i can have
my own business,

178
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,403
meet and marry a wonderful
woman like sheila,

179
00:06:33,404 --> 00:06:36,764
and... and be something,
be somebody.

180
00:06:36,765 --> 00:06:38,685
Some people find it ironical

181
00:06:38,685 --> 00:06:40,124
that even though
we run a travel agency,

182
00:06:40,125 --> 00:06:42,525
we've never been
outside of blaine.

183
00:06:42,526 --> 00:06:43,966
With one exception.

184
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:45,885
Well, we've never been out...

185
00:06:45,886 --> 00:06:47,326
you left blaine.

186
00:06:47,327 --> 00:06:49,246
Well, i went
to jefferson city once.

187
00:06:49,247 --> 00:06:50,206
It was a...

188
00:06:50,207 --> 00:06:51,167
tell them why.

189
00:06:51,647 --> 00:06:53,567
It was a medical reason.

190
00:06:55,008 --> 00:06:56,446
You can tell 'em.

191
00:06:56,447 --> 00:06:59,328
Just minor surgery.

192
00:07:02,208 --> 00:07:04,608
I've been
working here at the d.q.

193
00:07:04,609 --> 00:07:06,529
For about, um...

194
00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:11,808
8 months, 7.

195
00:07:11,809 --> 00:07:13,729
I don't know.
Something like that.

196
00:07:13,730 --> 00:07:15,169
It's fun.

197
00:07:15,170 --> 00:07:17,569
You just do the cones.

198
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:20,450
Make sundaes,
make blizzards, and...

199
00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:21,891
put stuff on 'em and...

200
00:07:22,371 --> 00:07:24,290
see a lot of people come in.

201
00:07:24,291 --> 00:07:26,211
A lot of people
come to the d.q.

202
00:07:26,692 --> 00:07:29,091
Burgers. Ice cream.

203
00:07:29,092 --> 00:07:31,971
Anything, you know?

204
00:07:31,972 --> 00:07:34,372
Cokes. Just drive in
and get a coke,

205
00:07:34,373 --> 00:07:36,772
if you're thirsty.

206
00:07:36,773 --> 00:07:39,652
Everybody thinks that roswell
was the first sighting

207
00:07:39,653 --> 00:07:41,572
of a ufo in the united states,

208
00:07:41,573 --> 00:07:43,013
and that's bull roar.

209
00:07:43,014 --> 00:07:45,413
We had the first sighting
here in 1946.

210
00:07:45,414 --> 00:07:47,814
And it wasrt just a sighting.
They didn't just fly by.

211
00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:49,734
They stopped. They landed.

212
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:51,655
The people in blaine
went onboard the ship

213
00:07:52,135 --> 00:07:53,574
for a potluck dinner.

214
00:07:53,575 --> 00:07:56,455
I've been coming out
to this landing site

215
00:07:56,456 --> 00:07:58,375
every day for 2 years

216
00:07:58,376 --> 00:08:00,295
to measure it.

217
00:08:00,296 --> 00:08:02,215
And here's the thing...

218
00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:05,575
the circumference
and the diameter change

219
00:08:05,576 --> 00:08:06,537
by a few inches,

220
00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:09,416
yet the radius
remains the same.

221
00:08:09,417 --> 00:08:11,337
Which brings me back
to the number 5.

222
00:08:11,818 --> 00:08:14,698
There are 5 letters
in the name "blaine."

223
00:08:15,178 --> 00:08:17,097
Mix the word "blaine" up,
mix it around,

224
00:08:17,098 --> 00:08:19,498
eventually,
you'll get "nebali."

225
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,378
Neball...
the name of the planet

226
00:08:22,379 --> 00:08:25,259
in a galaxy way, way...

227
00:08:25,259 --> 00:08:27,180
way... far away.

228
00:08:27,659 --> 00:08:28,618
I'll tell you another thing.

229
00:08:28,619 --> 00:08:30,059
Once you step inside
this circle,

230
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:33,420
The weather never changes.

231
00:08:33,901 --> 00:08:36,300
It is always 67 degrees

232
00:08:36,781 --> 00:08:38,700
with a 40% chance of rain.

233
00:08:38,701 --> 00:08:39,660
Always.

234
00:08:39,661 --> 00:08:42,541
L... i love
to make people laugh,

235
00:08:42,542 --> 00:08:44,941
and i've been doing it since...

236
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:45,902
you know, school.

237
00:08:46,382 --> 00:08:48,302
People ask me,
"were you a..."

238
00:08:48,302 --> 00:08:52,142
you know, "you must have been
the class clown."

239
00:08:52,143 --> 00:08:55,983
And i say, uh,
"no, i wasrt."

240
00:08:55,983 --> 00:08:57,904
But i sat beside
the class clown,

241
00:08:58,383 --> 00:09:00,303
and I... i studied him,

242
00:09:00,304 --> 00:09:03,664
and, uh, and saw
how he made people laugh.

243
00:09:03,665 --> 00:09:06,544
And so i picked some things up,
and, uh, you know,

244
00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:08,464
and at parties
and family functions,

245
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:12,305
i have to say, i love,
you know, breaking people up.

246
00:09:12,306 --> 00:09:15,185
So, there's a thing
that i think i got...

247
00:09:15,186 --> 00:09:18,065
a... a... an entertaining bug

248
00:09:18,066 --> 00:09:21,425
from my grandfather, uh,
chaim progot

249
00:09:21,426 --> 00:09:25,266
who was very, very big
in the yiddish theater

250
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:26,227
back in new york.

251
00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:31,027
He was in the... the very...
the sardonically irreverent

252
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:34,867
I said more ham.

253
00:09:34,868 --> 00:09:37,748
And that revue,
i believe, was 1914,

254
00:09:37,748 --> 00:09:41,108
and that revue
is what made him famous.

255
00:09:41,109 --> 00:09:44,949
Incidentally, the song
bubbee made a kishke

256
00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:46,389
came from that revue.

257
00:09:46,390 --> 00:09:48,789
My... my father, bless him,

258
00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:50,710
brought me
into... into the business.

259
00:09:50,711 --> 00:09:54,070
This was his dental practice,
uh, before,

260
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,991
and i joke with my wife
that, uh, you know,

261
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,391
at that point,
that's when the, uh,

262
00:09:58,392 --> 00:10:01,751
the money started rolling in.

263
00:10:01,752 --> 00:10:04,151
You know.

264
00:10:04,152 --> 00:10:07,511
Brave making m-more wampum

265
00:10:07,512 --> 00:10:09,433
to buy pelts.

266
00:10:12,313 --> 00:10:15,192
One happy squaw in wigwam.

267
00:10:15,193 --> 00:10:17,114
Happy as mongoose.

268
00:10:18,554 --> 00:10:20,474
That, uh...

269
00:10:20,475 --> 00:10:23,354
is, of course,
from johnny carson who, uh...

270
00:10:23,355 --> 00:10:25,754
one of my heroes
in a very funny bit.

271
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:30,235
When i see lips
waiting to be kissed

272
00:10:30,236 --> 00:10:31,675
I can't stop

273
00:10:31,676 --> 00:10:33,116
I can't stop

274
00:10:33,596 --> 00:10:36,476
For that lightning,
oh, it's striking

275
00:10:36,957 --> 00:10:38,397
Again

276
00:10:38,877 --> 00:10:39,836
Yeah

277
00:10:39,837 --> 00:10:43,677
Lightning's striking

278
00:10:43,678 --> 00:10:46,558
Again and again and again and

279
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:54,239
I'm going to do a scene
from the movieraging bull.

280
00:10:56,639 --> 00:10:58,079
You fucked my wife?

281
00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:00,000
What?

282
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:01,440
You fucked my wife?

283
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,839
How can you ask me
a question like that?

284
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,279
How can you ask me?

285
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,720
I'm your brother
and you ask me that?

286
00:11:06,721 --> 00:11:08,716
Where do you get the balls
big enough to ask me that?

287
00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:12,000
Basically for
the last 15 years,

288
00:11:12,001 --> 00:11:14,401
i have been the music teacher

289
00:11:14,402 --> 00:11:16,801
at blaine high,

290
00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:19,201
um, and part of my job,

291
00:11:19,202 --> 00:11:21,122
and a very important part

292
00:11:21,123 --> 00:11:23,042
is to put on a show every year,

293
00:11:23,043 --> 00:11:24,962
which i have done
completely by myself.

294
00:11:24,963 --> 00:11:27,843
This year it's going
to be different

295
00:11:27,844 --> 00:11:31,203
because corky,
being from new york,

296
00:11:31,204 --> 00:11:32,643
being a professional

297
00:11:32,644 --> 00:11:37,923
and having put on some very
theatrical productions here,

298
00:11:37,924 --> 00:11:43,205
uh, is going to be
directing the show this year

299
00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:46,086
and i'm going to be
the musical director,

300
00:11:46,566 --> 00:11:47,563
which is different for me.

301
00:11:51,366 --> 00:11:52,807
Teacher's pet

302
00:11:53,286 --> 00:11:57,126
I wanna be teacher's pet

303
00:11:57,127 --> 00:12:00,487
I want to be
huddled and cuddled

304
00:12:00,488 --> 00:12:03,368
And close to you as i can get

305
00:12:06,249 --> 00:12:08,168
Teacher's pride

306
00:12:08,169 --> 00:12:12,009
I wanna be teacher's pride

307
00:12:18,730 --> 00:12:21,129
Dr. Pearl! How are you?
Ron albertson.

308
00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:22,570
Yes, ron.

309
00:12:22,571 --> 00:12:24,010
My wife sheila.

310
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,930
You remember her
from previous bills.

311
00:12:25,931 --> 00:12:27,370
Hello, sheila.

312
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,331
What are you doing here?

313
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:31,211
I'm here, you know,
trying out for the big show.

314
00:12:31,212 --> 00:12:32,172
Congratulations.

315
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:33,688
No, why are you here really?

316
00:12:34,092 --> 00:12:37,451
I'm... i told my wife
i'd come out for this show.

317
00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:39,372
You know, i thought
i'd give it a shot.

318
00:12:39,372 --> 00:12:40,812
Give it your best shot,

319
00:12:40,813 --> 00:12:42,252
which won't be the first
shot you ever gave.

320
00:12:42,253 --> 00:12:44,172
Hope it doesn't leave corky
numb like most of them.

321
00:12:44,173 --> 00:12:46,573
It's like pulling teeth
to get a discount from him.

322
00:12:46,574 --> 00:12:48,973
Why don't you give some
caramels to the little girl?

323
00:12:48,974 --> 00:12:50,413
Future customers and all.

324
00:12:50,414 --> 00:12:51,853
So

325
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,734
I can be teacher's pet

326
00:12:54,735 --> 00:12:57,615
Long after school is through

327
00:12:58,095 --> 00:13:00,494
Teacher, teacher, i love you

328
00:13:00,495 --> 00:13:02,416
Whoa!

329
00:13:04,816 --> 00:13:08,175
High

330
00:13:08,176 --> 00:13:09,616
Ahem. Maybe just...

331
00:13:09,617 --> 00:13:12,016
ahhh. Mmm.

332
00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:15,856
I dream of jeanie

333
00:13:15,857 --> 00:13:20,177
With the light brown hair

334
00:13:20,178 --> 00:13:24,497
Floating like a vapor

335
00:13:24,498 --> 00:13:28,818
On the soft summer air

336
00:13:28,819 --> 00:13:29,779
Look out!

337
00:13:29,780 --> 00:13:31,700
Camptown races sing this song

338
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,619
Doo-dah, doo-dah

339
00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:35,539
Camptown racetrack 5 miles long

340
00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:37,460
Oh, doo-dah day

341
00:13:37,461 --> 00:13:38,899
Gwine to run all night

342
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:41,300
Gwine to run all day

343
00:13:41,301 --> 00:13:43,220
Bet my money
on the bob-tail nag

344
00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:44,660
?
Somebody bet on the bay?

345
00:13:44,661 --> 00:13:48,021
Bay, bay, bay

346
00:13:48,022 --> 00:13:52,823
Way down
upon the swannee ribber

347
00:13:59,543 --> 00:14:02,902
Floating like

348
00:14:02,903 --> 00:14:05,304
A vapor

349
00:14:05,784 --> 00:14:09,623
On the soft summer

350
00:14:09,624 --> 00:14:10,104
Air

351
00:14:17,305 --> 00:14:20,666
Air

352
00:14:22,106 --> 00:14:24,025
That was...
very nice.

353
00:14:24,026 --> 00:14:24,985
Very good.
Very good.

354
00:14:24,986 --> 00:14:26,426
Well, thank you,
dr. Pearl.

355
00:14:26,427 --> 00:14:28,347
Well, thank you very much.

356
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:29,787
We'll let you know.

357
00:14:30,268 --> 00:14:31,706
Very good.

358
00:14:31,707 --> 00:14:33,147
Thank you.

359
00:14:33,148 --> 00:14:35,547
Thank you.

360
00:14:35,548 --> 00:14:37,948
He can actually sing.

361
00:14:37,949 --> 00:14:39,868
He's good.
Wow.

362
00:14:39,869 --> 00:14:41,789
The albertsons?

363
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,310
Ding-dong.

364
00:14:53,311 --> 00:14:54,749
Oh!

365
00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:57,151
I wonder who knows i'm
vacationing here at the oasis.

366
00:14:59,551 --> 00:15:00,510
Am i late?

367
00:15:00,511 --> 00:15:01,470
You!

368
00:15:01,471 --> 00:15:02,431
Surprised?

369
00:15:02,912 --> 00:15:03,871
How did you find me?

370
00:15:03,872 --> 00:15:05,791
I have my ways.

371
00:15:05,792 --> 00:15:08,191
Would you like to
come in for coffee?

372
00:15:08,192 --> 00:15:11,553
You don't need to answer

373
00:15:12,033 --> 00:15:14,433
There's no need to speak

374
00:15:16,354 --> 00:15:19,714
I'll be your belly dancer

375
00:15:19,714 --> 00:15:21,634
Prancer

376
00:15:21,635 --> 00:15:24,994
And i will be your sheik

377
00:15:24,995 --> 00:15:28,835
I don't need a harem, honey

378
00:15:29,316 --> 00:15:31,236
When you're by my side

379
00:15:31,716 --> 00:15:35,555
And you won't need a camel

380
00:15:35,556 --> 00:15:37,475
No, no

381
00:15:37,476 --> 00:15:39,877
When i take you for a ride

382
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,757
We'll need some coffee to go
with that ride, won't we?

383
00:15:42,758 --> 00:15:45,637
You're always
full of surprises.

384
00:15:45,638 --> 00:15:47,077
But, say, i wonder,

385
00:15:47,078 --> 00:15:48,267
do we have time
for that coffee?

386
00:15:48,518 --> 00:15:49,477
What time is it?

387
00:15:49,478 --> 00:15:50,917
What time is it? Havert
you been paying attention?

388
00:15:50,918 --> 00:15:51,878
It's

389
00:15:52,359 --> 00:15:57,158
Midnight at the oasis

390
00:15:57,159 --> 00:15:59,558
Thank you.
Oh... good.

391
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,479
That was great.

392
00:16:01,479 --> 00:16:02,439
Really good.

393
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,360
Thanks a lot.

394
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,801
Thanks for coming.

395
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,720
Should we leave the...?

396
00:16:07,721 --> 00:16:09,640
Why don't you
put that back there?

397
00:16:09,641 --> 00:16:11,080
Yeah.
Strike it?

398
00:16:11,081 --> 00:16:13,000
We've done a few shows
for corky before,

399
00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:13,960
so we know all
the terms going in.

400
00:16:13,961 --> 00:16:14,920
Thank you.

401
00:16:14,921 --> 00:16:16,361
Thanks so much.
It was really fun.

402
00:16:16,362 --> 00:16:17,321
Thank you.

403
00:16:17,322 --> 00:16:19,241
Thank you.

404
00:16:19,242 --> 00:16:20,681
Wow.

405
00:16:20,682 --> 00:16:23,442
I'm feeling good

406
00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:25,363
about where we stand now
with our cast.

407
00:16:25,842 --> 00:16:31,123
I think that the elements,
as dr. Watson said to sherlock,

408
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,043
"are coming together, sir."

409
00:16:33,044 --> 00:16:35,924
I'm very excited
about ron and sheila,

410
00:16:36,404 --> 00:16:38,323
the old standbys,
the work horses.

411
00:16:38,324 --> 00:16:40,243
I call them
the lunts of blaine.

412
00:16:40,244 --> 00:16:43,125
Allan pearl. Interesting.
How do these...

413
00:16:43,605 --> 00:16:44,565
where do they come from?

414
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,486
Sure, i'd seen him around.

415
00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,653
It would never have occurred
to me to walk up

416
00:16:48,885 --> 00:16:52,246
to the dentist and say,
"are you interested in this?"

417
00:16:52,726 --> 00:16:56,086
But i was shopping
for my wife bonnie...

418
00:16:56,087 --> 00:16:58,966
i buy most of her clothes...

419
00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:03,286
and mrs. Pearl
was in the same shop.

420
00:17:03,287 --> 00:17:05,687
And it just was an accident.

421
00:17:05,688 --> 00:17:09,047
We started talking
about pantyhose.

422
00:17:09,048 --> 00:17:12,408
She was saying... that's not
the point of the story,

423
00:17:12,409 --> 00:17:15,288
but what the point is
was that through

424
00:17:15,289 --> 00:17:17,688
this accidental meeting,
it's like, you know,

425
00:17:17,689 --> 00:17:19,129
it's like a hitchcock movie

426
00:17:19,130 --> 00:17:21,049
where you're thrown
into a rubber bag

427
00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:24,891
and put in the trunk of a car.

428
00:17:25,371 --> 00:17:28,730
You find people.
You find them.

429
00:17:28,731 --> 00:17:31,610
Something. Is it karma?

430
00:17:31,611 --> 00:17:33,532
Maybe.

431
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,411
But we found him,
that's the important thing.

432
00:17:36,412 --> 00:17:39,292
And i got bonnie
a wonderful pants suit.

433
00:17:39,773 --> 00:17:42,172
They took me off
into a separate room.

434
00:17:42,173 --> 00:17:43,613
I seen 'em taking
different people off.

435
00:17:43,613 --> 00:17:46,013
Different ones of us off
in separate rooms.

436
00:17:46,494 --> 00:17:48,893
They put me on
a big white table

437
00:17:48,894 --> 00:17:51,294
and, uh, the guy
that take me there,

438
00:17:51,294 --> 00:17:55,134
the one of them that took me
in there to examine me,

439
00:17:55,135 --> 00:17:56,574
he probed me.

440
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,454
I was in there i bet
more than 3 or 4 hours,

441
00:17:59,455 --> 00:18:01,375
in that room being probed.

442
00:18:01,856 --> 00:18:03,295
And at one time or another,

443
00:18:03,296 --> 00:18:05,695
there's different
ones of them come in,

444
00:18:05,696 --> 00:18:07,002
4, 5, 6 of them
at different times,

445
00:18:07,136 --> 00:18:08,577
and all of them probed me.

446
00:18:09,056 --> 00:18:11,936
Not all at once, you know.
Individually.

447
00:18:11,937 --> 00:18:15,776
Later on, years later,
now even still,

448
00:18:15,777 --> 00:18:17,697
it's a funny thing.

449
00:18:18,178 --> 00:18:19,618
It happened on a sunday,

450
00:18:20,098 --> 00:18:21,249
and every sunday about the time

451
00:18:21,538 --> 00:18:24,417
that i was taken
onboard that ship,

452
00:18:24,418 --> 00:18:27,778
i find i have
no feelings in my buttocks.

453
00:18:27,779 --> 00:18:30,178
Casting a show is really

454
00:18:30,179 --> 00:18:33,059
only the beginning
of the process.

455
00:18:33,059 --> 00:18:35,940
There's also
the whole design concept,

456
00:18:36,420 --> 00:18:38,340
what fabrics will work
for the costumes,

457
00:18:38,341 --> 00:18:39,779
the lighting,

458
00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:43,140
and it really becomes
a wrasslir match, i guess,

459
00:18:43,141 --> 00:18:46,021
between me
and the muse of theater,

460
00:18:46,022 --> 00:18:48,421
and most of all, dance.

461
00:19:05,704 --> 00:19:07,424
I'd like you
to close your eyes now,

462
00:19:07,425 --> 00:19:09,344
and i'd like you to try
something, all right?

463
00:19:09,345 --> 00:19:11,264
Now, what are you thinking,

464
00:19:11,265 --> 00:19:14,144
what are you feeling right now
with your eyes closed?

465
00:19:14,145 --> 00:19:17,985
I feel a bree... you're
blowing in my ear.

466
00:19:17,986 --> 00:19:20,385
All right, but, see,
you jumped to a conclusion.

467
00:19:20,386 --> 00:19:21,345
Oh.

468
00:19:21,346 --> 00:19:23,265
See, what i'm asking for is

469
00:19:23,266 --> 00:19:25,666
your first feeling was not
that i was blowing on you,

470
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:28,067
it was more like...

471
00:19:28,547 --> 00:19:32,867
virgin isles or
bahamanian or arubian.

472
00:19:33,348 --> 00:19:33,827
Yes.

473
00:19:34,308 --> 00:19:35,747
Yeah, he's at his rehearsal.

474
00:19:35,748 --> 00:19:37,187
He's at his first rehearsal.

475
00:19:37,188 --> 00:19:38,627
I don't know what they're doing

476
00:19:38,628 --> 00:19:40,548
'cause i never been
to one before,

477
00:19:41,029 --> 00:19:43,908
but i bet they're introducing
themselves to each other.

478
00:19:43,909 --> 00:19:45,829
You know, it's gonna be nice

479
00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:47,749
to meet
some of these new folks,

480
00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:52,069
'cause we don't socialize
with the creative types.

481
00:19:52,070 --> 00:19:54,470
We got our scrabble club
and stuff,

482
00:19:54,471 --> 00:19:56,870
and, um, you know,

483
00:19:56,871 --> 00:19:59,271
and other people with babies.

484
00:20:04,552 --> 00:20:05,511
Right. Good.

485
00:20:05,512 --> 00:20:08,391
Oh, the exercises
all mean something.

486
00:20:08,392 --> 00:20:10,793
Even if you don't know what.

487
00:20:11,272 --> 00:20:15,112
Dr. Pearl,
well, he'll come around,

488
00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:20,393
and he'll learn like ron and
sheila and i have learned

489
00:20:20,394 --> 00:20:21,834
that corky has a vision.

490
00:20:25,674 --> 00:20:27,595
Whoa! Whoa!

491
00:20:30,475 --> 00:20:31,435
Whoo!

492
00:20:33,355 --> 00:20:34,314
Oh!

493
00:20:34,315 --> 00:20:36,235
You!
Forget about it! Ha ha!

494
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,636
Ha ha! I went like this.

495
00:20:38,636 --> 00:20:41,035
Forget about it. Ha ha!

496
00:20:41,036 --> 00:20:42,476
With her it's ok,

497
00:20:42,477 --> 00:20:45,837
but with him,
he thought... ha ha!

498
00:20:47,278 --> 00:20:52,077
I, uh, i'm walking
on air, you know.

499
00:20:52,078 --> 00:20:54,958
This is a sensation
which is... forget it.

500
00:20:54,959 --> 00:20:57,357
When i became a dentist,
i thought i was happy,

501
00:20:57,358 --> 00:21:00,238
but this is... this is
making me nervous now,

502
00:21:00,239 --> 00:21:03,119
because i could have
wasted a lot of years.

503
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,519
I must say
i was very shocked to see

504
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,439
that dr. Pearl had
actually been cast.

505
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:08,879
Then i thought...

506
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,280
we're in a glamor profession,
being travel agents,

507
00:21:11,281 --> 00:21:13,680
and he isn't in
such a glamorous...

508
00:21:13,681 --> 00:21:15,600
one project,
we have to loosen him up.

509
00:21:15,601 --> 00:21:17,520
I have a feeling
he's a little tight.

510
00:21:17,521 --> 00:21:19,440
Particularly when
he's around us probably.

511
00:21:19,441 --> 00:21:20,401
I don't think he'll mind jokes.

512
00:21:20,401 --> 00:21:21,361
You're intimidating, ron...

513
00:21:21,362 --> 00:21:22,322
i can't help it.

514
00:21:22,802 --> 00:21:24,241
Because you have
so much experience.

515
00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:26,161
Ron is going to help
everyone act,

516
00:21:26,162 --> 00:21:28,562
'cause i know ron gives me...

517
00:21:28,563 --> 00:21:30,174
well, in all the productions
we've been in,

518
00:21:30,483 --> 00:21:32,211
and when we do scene studies
at home together,

519
00:21:32,404 --> 00:21:34,803
ron will have extensive,

520
00:21:35,284 --> 00:21:37,683
you know, hour, 2-hour
sessions of notes for me,

521
00:21:37,684 --> 00:21:38,644
and it's so helpful.

522
00:21:39,124 --> 00:21:40,084
It's notes for both of us.

523
00:21:40,085 --> 00:21:41,523
No, but lately...

524
00:21:41,524 --> 00:21:42,484
you get most of them.

525
00:21:42,965 --> 00:21:44,404
He's trying to help me
to change my instincts

526
00:21:44,405 --> 00:21:45,725
or at least ignore them.

527
00:21:47,165 --> 00:21:50,045
Listen,
let me tell you why i'm here.

528
00:21:50,045 --> 00:21:52,925
We're doing a show.
I won't beat around the bush.

529
00:21:52,926 --> 00:21:53,885
We're doing a show
that i've written

530
00:21:53,886 --> 00:21:56,765
about the 150th anniversary
of blaine,

531
00:21:56,766 --> 00:21:58,206
and i know
you're an old blainian.

532
00:21:58,207 --> 00:21:59,646
Yes?

533
00:21:59,647 --> 00:22:02,526
And you're really right
for one of the parts.

534
00:22:02,527 --> 00:22:05,407
It's the narrator in the show.

535
00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:06,847
One of the actor parts?

536
00:22:06,848 --> 00:22:07,807
Yeah.

537
00:22:07,808 --> 00:22:08,768
Oh, i don't know.

538
00:22:09,248 --> 00:22:11,167
I've heard... i think
you're being modest

539
00:22:11,168 --> 00:22:13,088
because i've heard
you've had some history

540
00:22:13,089 --> 00:22:14,048
in show business.

541
00:22:14,049 --> 00:22:17,888
Well, you know i did have,
i had a hankering

542
00:22:17,889 --> 00:22:20,289
to be an actor
when i was a young fella,

543
00:22:20,290 --> 00:22:21,730
when i got out of
the coast guard,

544
00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:24,609
but i went to taxidermy
school instead.

545
00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:26,051
Well, i took
a correspondence course.

546
00:22:26,530 --> 00:22:27,011
Uh-huh.

547
00:22:27,490 --> 00:22:28,930
I'll tell you something,
mr. Wooley,

548
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:32,771
what i'm looking for
in my shows are actors

549
00:22:32,772 --> 00:22:35,171
and people that are
willing to work hard.

550
00:22:35,652 --> 00:22:39,011
Well, yeah, i'm a hard worker
as you can see.

551
00:22:39,012 --> 00:22:41,412
I love all the work
you've done.

552
00:22:41,413 --> 00:22:45,732
That's a little gun rack
made out of deer hooves.

553
00:22:45,733 --> 00:22:46,692
Oh, yeah.

554
00:22:46,693 --> 00:22:49,094
Boy, i didn't know
deers could do that.

555
00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:55,814
I know this
comes out of left field,

556
00:22:55,815 --> 00:22:57,253
but i'm looking
for another actor.

557
00:22:57,254 --> 00:23:00,134
And i was wondering
if you had any interest

558
00:23:00,135 --> 00:23:02,535
in participating in the show.

559
00:23:02,535 --> 00:23:03,974
Does that appeal to you
in any way?

560
00:23:03,975 --> 00:23:06,376
I'm not much of an actor,
i'm sorry.

561
00:23:06,856 --> 00:23:09,255
I've never done that,
anything like that before.

562
00:23:09,256 --> 00:23:11,177
Uh-huh.
Ok, fair enough,

563
00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:13,575
but it might be
interesting, you know,

564
00:23:13,576 --> 00:23:15,976
after, uh...
do you get off tonight?

565
00:23:15,977 --> 00:23:17,416
What time do you
get off tonight?

566
00:23:17,417 --> 00:23:19,336
Well, i get off at 8:00.

567
00:23:19,337 --> 00:23:20,778
At 8:00 tonight?
Yeah.

568
00:23:21,257 --> 00:23:23,177
Really? That's...
that's a long day.

569
00:23:23,178 --> 00:23:24,137
Yeah.

570
00:23:24,138 --> 00:23:26,057
Hey, dad, this is, uh, mr...

571
00:23:26,058 --> 00:23:27,498
st. Clair.
St. Clair.

572
00:23:27,499 --> 00:23:28,458
He's a drama guy.

573
00:23:28,459 --> 00:23:30,858
Yeah, and, um, at 8:00
you're off, though?

574
00:23:30,859 --> 00:23:32,298
Right.
Yeah.

575
00:23:32,299 --> 00:23:34,698
I have to tell you i'm not
much of an actor or singer.

576
00:23:34,699 --> 00:23:36,139
Well, you know what?

577
00:23:36,140 --> 00:23:37,579
That's what
charles laughton said.

578
00:23:37,580 --> 00:23:39,499
You know?
And look what happened.

579
00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:42,861
Did you change the fan belt
on that blue chevy?

580
00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:44,780
No, i haven't done that yet.

581
00:23:44,781 --> 00:23:47,660
When you get done here,
will you get on that?

582
00:23:47,661 --> 00:23:48,622
Yeah.

583
00:23:49,101 --> 00:23:51,502
Um, so, how tall are you?

584
00:23:51,981 --> 00:23:52,462
6'2".

585
00:23:52,942 --> 00:23:53,901
Really?
Mm-hmm.

586
00:23:53,902 --> 00:23:54,862
Wow.

587
00:23:57,263 --> 00:24:00,102
It's all the same

588
00:24:00,103 --> 00:24:02,504
When we say, "nothing
ever happens in blaine,"

589
00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:07,304
could we try you two
singing "blaine,"

590
00:24:07,784 --> 00:24:10,184
where we really hear
the "ne" at the end.

591
00:24:10,185 --> 00:24:13,544
And you guys just go,
"nothing ever happens in blai."

592
00:24:13,545 --> 00:24:15,464
Don't say the "ne."
They say the nes.

593
00:24:15,465 --> 00:24:16,904
And the same thing...
"nothing ever happens,

594
00:24:16,905 --> 00:24:18,825
it's all the same."

595
00:24:18,826 --> 00:24:20,745
And you sing,
"it's all the sa."

596
00:24:20,746 --> 00:24:22,185
Let's try it once, ok, jean?

597
00:24:22,186 --> 00:24:24,105
1, 2, 3, and...

598
00:24:24,106 --> 00:24:26,506
i know it's hard
to jump into this,

599
00:24:26,507 --> 00:24:28,426
because it must seem
like a, you know...

600
00:24:28,427 --> 00:24:29,866
a new world,

601
00:24:29,867 --> 00:24:31,786
but we're gonna
ease you into it.

602
00:24:31,787 --> 00:24:33,228
And if you ever
have any questions,

603
00:24:33,707 --> 00:24:36,107
you can always call me up.
I'll give you my...

604
00:24:36,108 --> 00:24:37,067
i have a private number.

605
00:24:37,068 --> 00:24:38,987
It's not listed,
so don't lose it.

606
00:24:38,988 --> 00:24:41,388
And do not give it out
to... to anyone.

607
00:24:41,869 --> 00:24:45,229
"How high a ridge,
i could not tell,

608
00:24:45,709 --> 00:24:48,108
for the sun,
the sun has..."

609
00:24:48,109 --> 00:24:49,549
not pinching your shirt.

610
00:24:49,550 --> 00:24:51,470
I want, you see...
hook in those thumbs.

611
00:24:51,950 --> 00:24:52,909
Thumbs?

612
00:24:52,910 --> 00:24:55,310
Yeah, there you go.

613
00:24:55,310 --> 00:24:57,709
Yeah.
Just... that's right.

614
00:24:57,710 --> 00:25:00,111
"How high a ridge,
i could not tell..."

615
00:25:00,591 --> 00:25:02,030
see what's happening
with your voice already?

616
00:25:02,031 --> 00:25:04,911
'Cause it's almost as if you're
squeezing your boobies out,

617
00:25:04,912 --> 00:25:07,311
and it's... it's going to be
going out into that audience.

618
00:25:07,312 --> 00:25:08,751
Pushing it right out there.

619
00:25:08,752 --> 00:25:10,191
I could try a "how."

620
00:25:10,192 --> 00:25:14,513
"How... how high a ridge,
i could not tell..."

621
00:25:23,154 --> 00:25:25,073
Keep in time.

622
00:25:25,074 --> 00:25:26,994
Ok.

623
00:25:26,995 --> 00:25:28,433
Right.

624
00:25:28,434 --> 00:25:29,394
Robin in the nest.

625
00:25:29,394 --> 00:25:31,315
Ok.

626
00:25:31,795 --> 00:25:32,754
Right.

627
00:25:32,755 --> 00:25:34,195
Good.

628
00:25:34,676 --> 00:25:35,673
This'll dominate the show.

629
00:25:38,516 --> 00:25:40,435
By the pool

630
00:25:40,436 --> 00:25:42,835
In the school
by the fires of yule

631
00:25:42,836 --> 00:25:44,756
It's the rule

632
00:25:44,756 --> 00:25:47,156
There's a stool,
there's a stool

633
00:25:47,157 --> 00:25:48,597
Stools are where

634
00:25:49,078 --> 00:25:51,476
Once upon a time
you'd find a chair

635
00:25:51,477 --> 00:25:53,397
A chair's for fools

636
00:25:53,398 --> 00:25:55,797
Everybody wants stools

637
00:25:55,798 --> 00:25:57,718
Stool boom

638
00:25:57,719 --> 00:26:00,598
From the parlor
to the pool room

639
00:26:00,599 --> 00:26:03,478
?
Everyone knows our name?

640
00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:04,918
Whose script is that?

641
00:26:04,919 --> 00:26:06,359
Stool...
Oh, sorry.

642
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:07,799
No, drool.

643
00:26:07,799 --> 00:26:09,239
You will...
Oh, they're gonna be...

644
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,199
Never stopping

645
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:11,640
Never breathing, working

646
00:26:15,001 --> 00:26:17,880
I don't want to interfere,

647
00:26:17,881 --> 00:26:20,762
but i think it would be...

648
00:26:22,201 --> 00:26:24,601
i think we have to work on...

649
00:26:24,602 --> 00:26:25,561
i can't hear you.

650
00:26:25,562 --> 00:26:28,921
I think we have to work on
the music a little bit more.

651
00:26:28,922 --> 00:26:29,881
Fine.

652
00:26:29,882 --> 00:26:32,282
But i don't want
to make trouble, so...

653
00:26:32,283 --> 00:26:34,202
and i don't
really want to do this

654
00:26:34,203 --> 00:26:36,123
in front of them,
but i think...

655
00:26:36,124 --> 00:26:38,043
where do you want to do it?

656
00:26:38,044 --> 00:26:41,884
Well, i think we have to
sit down and make a schedule

657
00:26:42,364 --> 00:26:44,764
that includes
some... some music time,

658
00:26:44,765 --> 00:26:48,125
'cause i think jean and i
have to work...

659
00:26:48,605 --> 00:26:50,044
why are you whispering?

660
00:26:50,045 --> 00:26:51,965
I'm right here,
you know? I don't...

661
00:26:52,446 --> 00:26:53,405
oh, i'm sorry.

662
00:26:53,406 --> 00:26:56,285
Do you want me to talk louder?

663
00:26:56,286 --> 00:26:59,166
Because i think
that it would be...

664
00:26:59,167 --> 00:27:00,605
well, now it's too loud.

665
00:27:00,606 --> 00:27:03,486
You know, just talk like
a normal person, ok?

666
00:27:03,487 --> 00:27:06,366
I think what they
were doing was good.

667
00:27:06,367 --> 00:27:07,808
To me, you rehearse,
you rehearse.

668
00:27:08,287 --> 00:27:10,360
You get it perfect. You know
exactly what you're doing.

669
00:27:10,688 --> 00:27:11,226
And then what?

670
00:27:11,648 --> 00:27:12,608
And then you forget about it.

671
00:27:12,608 --> 00:27:13,568
Let me pinpoint you.

672
00:27:13,569 --> 00:27:15,027
You said they learn it,
they forget it,

673
00:27:15,489 --> 00:27:16,448
and that's ok?

674
00:27:16,449 --> 00:27:17,888
That's f... great.

675
00:27:17,889 --> 00:27:18,848
Well, they've forgotten it...

676
00:27:18,849 --> 00:27:21,249
but they never learned it.
So when did they learn it?

677
00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:22,688
I'm just saying,
when do we have the time...

678
00:27:22,689 --> 00:27:23,648
but what i'm saying is,

679
00:27:23,649 --> 00:27:25,089
if they're gonna
forget it anyway,

680
00:27:25,090 --> 00:27:26,529
then what difference
does it make?

681
00:27:26,530 --> 00:27:29,409
You see what i mean?
It's like one of those...

682
00:27:29,410 --> 00:27:31,329
it's like a...
it's a zen thing.

683
00:27:31,330 --> 00:27:33,730
It's like, you know...
you know,

684
00:27:33,731 --> 00:27:35,651
how many babies, you know, fit

685
00:27:35,652 --> 00:27:37,091
in... in the tire thing?

686
00:27:37,572 --> 00:27:39,011
That whole...
the old joke, you know?

687
00:27:39,492 --> 00:27:41,892
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
No, you have a point.

688
00:27:42,372 --> 00:27:43,908
Uh, it's, you know,
an interesting point.

689
00:27:44,173 --> 00:27:47,052
And how'd you find this place?

690
00:27:47,053 --> 00:27:49,452
Well,
we've... we've been, uh...

691
00:27:49,453 --> 00:27:50,893
coming here for many,
many years.

692
00:27:50,894 --> 00:27:52,333
Oh, yeah,
we come every thursday.

693
00:27:52,814 --> 00:27:55,214
Well, with the rehearsals,
you won't be able to now.

694
00:27:55,694 --> 00:27:56,193
This is true.

695
00:27:56,654 --> 00:27:57,383
You know, in china,

696
00:27:57,615 --> 00:27:58,882
they'll kill a monkey
at the table

697
00:27:59,054 --> 00:27:59,975
and split its head open,

698
00:28:00,014 --> 00:28:01,455
eat the brains right out of it.

699
00:28:03,375 --> 00:28:04,815
We had friends...
ew.

700
00:28:05,296 --> 00:28:06,734
Barbara and bruce, remember?

701
00:28:06,735 --> 00:28:08,175
Who went to, uh, china,
and i'm sure...

702
00:28:08,176 --> 00:28:09,615
you're in
the travel business...

703
00:28:09,616 --> 00:28:10,575
that you've been there,

704
00:28:10,576 --> 00:28:12,976
but they went to peking,
where they make the ducks,

705
00:28:12,977 --> 00:28:15,857
and what they say is
that the food over there

706
00:28:16,336 --> 00:28:17,296
is not as good...

707
00:28:17,297 --> 00:28:20,176
you can't get a sauce as
thick and sweet over there.

708
00:28:20,177 --> 00:28:21,136
They don't make it like that.

709
00:28:21,137 --> 00:28:23,056
Their food is like
steamed or something.

710
00:28:23,057 --> 00:28:24,497
And they should've
called you, because...

711
00:28:24,498 --> 00:28:26,417
yeah, we got
some good packages.

712
00:28:26,418 --> 00:28:27,377
Incidentally, if you two

713
00:28:27,378 --> 00:28:28,817
ever want to get down
to miami, miami beach,

714
00:28:28,818 --> 00:28:31,219
we got a great package.
A week, 2 weeks.

715
00:28:31,698 --> 00:28:32,467
All expense... yeah.

716
00:28:32,659 --> 00:28:34,098
You get everything you need,

717
00:28:34,099 --> 00:28:36,498
any kind of food
in blaine. You don't...

718
00:28:36,499 --> 00:28:37,939
you know, you get chinese here.

719
00:28:37,940 --> 00:28:39,859
Uh, no need to go...

720
00:28:39,860 --> 00:28:41,299
we're talking about
miami now, dear.

721
00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:43,219
Yeah, we'd love to go.
We'd love to...

722
00:28:43,220 --> 00:28:44,179
is it a direct?

723
00:28:44,180 --> 00:28:45,139
A week, 2 weeks.

724
00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:46,713
Like there aren't
chinese people in miami.

725
00:28:47,061 --> 00:28:48,500
Well, we should.
You know, we've stopped...

726
00:28:48,501 --> 00:28:49,460
what does that have to do...

727
00:28:49,461 --> 00:28:50,900
of course there are
chinese people in miami.

728
00:28:50,901 --> 00:28:52,014
We're talking about china now.

729
00:28:52,342 --> 00:28:53,301
I'm talking about
going to miami.

730
00:28:53,302 --> 00:28:54,741
Miami. We're talking
about miami now.

731
00:28:54,742 --> 00:28:56,661
Dear, why don't you put
some food on your stomach

732
00:28:56,662 --> 00:28:57,621
before you have any more wine?

733
00:28:57,622 --> 00:28:59,541
What's it...
what's it...

734
00:28:59,542 --> 00:29:01,942
shh. Girl talk.

735
00:29:01,943 --> 00:29:04,823
What's it like to be
with a circumcised man?

736
00:29:05,303 --> 00:29:06,743
That is interesting.

737
00:29:06,744 --> 00:29:09,623
I'd ask you more about
that, but ron said...

738
00:29:09,624 --> 00:29:11,063
"that whole
jew thing's..."

739
00:29:11,064 --> 00:29:12,983
aah.

740
00:29:12,984 --> 00:29:14,903
'Cause when ron
had his surgery...

741
00:29:14,904 --> 00:29:15,863
all right, all right,
all right.

742
00:29:15,864 --> 00:29:17,304
When ron had
his surgery, i said,

743
00:29:17,305 --> 00:29:18,802
"hey, circumcise it
while you're at it."

744
00:29:19,225 --> 00:29:21,145
'Cause i had never been
with anyone else.

745
00:29:21,145 --> 00:29:23,066
Rors the only man
i've been with.

746
00:29:23,545 --> 00:29:25,465
Well, what surgery, uh...
did he have some major...

747
00:29:25,466 --> 00:29:27,385
nothing. I had a little
minor corrective surgery.

748
00:29:27,386 --> 00:29:28,826
Could we have some coffee
at this table, please?

749
00:29:28,826 --> 00:29:30,747
It's not minor anymore.

750
00:29:31,707 --> 00:29:33,146
Just...

751
00:29:33,147 --> 00:29:36,026
well, maybe, you know,
we should change the subject.

752
00:29:36,027 --> 00:29:39,387
I had what, you know,
most guys would, uh...

753
00:29:39,388 --> 00:29:40,827
dream of, you know.

754
00:29:40,828 --> 00:29:44,188
And i had to have, uh,
penis-reduction surgery.

755
00:29:44,188 --> 00:29:45,148
I'm sorry?

756
00:29:45,149 --> 00:29:46,108
Penis reduction.

757
00:29:46,109 --> 00:29:47,547
Which there aren't many.

758
00:29:47,548 --> 00:29:48,509
You're gonna say,
"i never heard of that,"

759
00:29:48,989 --> 00:29:50,370
'cause there haven't
been many cases.

760
00:29:50,429 --> 00:29:51,869
I said,
"ron, do something."

761
00:29:51,869 --> 00:29:54,749
And he said, "why don't
you get one of those...

762
00:29:54,750 --> 00:29:55,709
vagina enlargements?"

763
00:29:55,710 --> 00:29:57,630
Oh, dear! Could we have
some coffee over here?

764
00:29:58,110 --> 00:29:59,550
Have you tried the egg rolls?

765
00:29:59,550 --> 00:30:00,989
Unbelievable.

766
00:30:00,990 --> 00:30:02,430
Let me ask you something.
You're a medical man.

767
00:30:02,431 --> 00:30:03,390
Yes.

768
00:30:03,391 --> 00:30:05,310
I want to ask you
something. If you... you...

769
00:30:05,311 --> 00:30:08,191
oh! Ohh,
for heavers sake! No!

770
00:30:08,192 --> 00:30:09,631
No. No, please.
No! I just want...

771
00:30:10,112 --> 00:30:11,071
doctor, please...

772
00:30:11,072 --> 00:30:14,431
medicine man not go near
dances with stumpy. No.

773
00:30:14,432 --> 00:30:16,152
Everybody, everybody,

774
00:30:16,153 --> 00:30:19,032
i have a little
announcement to make.

775
00:30:19,033 --> 00:30:19,992
I wasrt gonna tell you.

776
00:30:19,993 --> 00:30:21,913
I sent out 10 letters

777
00:30:21,913 --> 00:30:24,312
to different producers
in new york city.

778
00:30:24,313 --> 00:30:25,272
That's great.

779
00:30:25,273 --> 00:30:28,153
This is from
the oppeneimer organization.

780
00:30:28,154 --> 00:30:30,554
"Dear mr. St. Clair,

781
00:30:30,555 --> 00:30:32,474
"in response to your letter

782
00:30:32,475 --> 00:30:35,355
"re: Blaine, missouri's
150th anniversary

783
00:30:35,835 --> 00:30:38,714
"and the debut
of your original musical

784
00:30:38,715 --> 00:30:40,634
"red, white, & blaine,

785
00:30:40,635 --> 00:30:42,555
"the oppeneimer organization

786
00:30:42,556 --> 00:30:44,956
"is delighted to inform you

787
00:30:44,956 --> 00:30:46,876
"that it will be sending
a representative,

788
00:30:46,877 --> 00:30:48,796
"mr. Mort guffman,

789
00:30:48,797 --> 00:30:50,716
"to view the production

790
00:30:50,717 --> 00:30:52,638
and enlighten us
with his comments."

791
00:30:53,117 --> 00:30:54,076
How about that?

792
00:30:54,077 --> 00:30:55,997
"We thank you
for the invitation."

793
00:30:56,478 --> 00:31:00,797
And it says, "best regards,
samuel oppeneimer jr."

794
00:31:00,798 --> 00:31:04,158
Wow. What does
this mean, corky?

795
00:31:04,159 --> 00:31:06,078
What it means is,

796
00:31:06,079 --> 00:31:08,959
we may be goir to broadway.

797
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:09,920
Aah!

798
00:31:10,399 --> 00:31:12,319
Ohh!

799
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:15,199
Oh, this is great news!

800
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:16,640
How about that?

801
00:31:16,641 --> 00:31:17,601
Did you hear that?

802
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:20,480
My aunt...
i brought out her atlas

803
00:31:20,481 --> 00:31:21,920
that i look at a lot,

804
00:31:21,921 --> 00:31:24,800
this big blue book,
and opened up to new york.

805
00:31:24,801 --> 00:31:27,201
And it's an island,
is really what it is.

806
00:31:27,202 --> 00:31:30,561
It's this...
island full of people

807
00:31:30,562 --> 00:31:34,402
of different colors
and different ideas,

808
00:31:34,403 --> 00:31:37,282
and i can't... it sounds
like a lot of fun to me.

809
00:31:37,283 --> 00:31:41,603
You know, we don't see
much of that in blaine.

810
00:31:41,604 --> 00:31:45,443
I'd like to maybe
meet some guys and...

811
00:31:45,444 --> 00:31:47,843
italian guys or...

812
00:31:47,844 --> 00:31:49,284
you know,
i've watched tv and stuff.

813
00:31:49,285 --> 00:31:52,164
L-i'm gonna be glad to do
the show on broadway,

814
00:31:52,165 --> 00:31:53,604
and there'll probably
be other offers.

815
00:31:53,605 --> 00:31:55,524
Mmm. Keeping
our fingers crossed.

816
00:31:55,525 --> 00:31:58,405
But i don't know if the theater
and the stage is for me.

817
00:31:58,406 --> 00:31:59,845
For one thing,

818
00:31:59,846 --> 00:32:01,766
there's an awful lot
of memorizing of lines,

819
00:32:01,767 --> 00:32:04,166
and i think... and i think...
you know what i'm thinking.

820
00:32:04,647 --> 00:32:06,086
Yeah. That's always
been in your way.

821
00:32:06,087 --> 00:32:08,007
The ultimate goal...
hollywood.

822
00:32:08,487 --> 00:32:10,407
Even when i was a kid
doing my impressions...

823
00:32:10,408 --> 00:32:11,847
"Here's looking at you, babe."

824
00:32:12,328 --> 00:32:13,287
And, uh...

825
00:32:13,288 --> 00:32:15,207
"You don't care

826
00:32:15,208 --> 00:32:18,567
about anyone but yourself."

827
00:32:18,568 --> 00:32:20,008
Who was that?
Henry fonda.

828
00:32:20,009 --> 00:32:21,448
I always have to tell her
who i'm doing.

829
00:32:21,449 --> 00:32:23,849
She always laughs,
"now, who is that?"

830
00:32:23,849 --> 00:32:24,809
But i think, back there,

831
00:32:24,810 --> 00:32:26,077
there's always
the germ in my mind

832
00:32:26,249 --> 00:32:28,169
that that's where i'd end up...
on the silver screen.

833
00:32:28,170 --> 00:32:30,569
And you got the face
for it, too, darlir.

834
00:32:30,570 --> 00:32:32,009
You know, i want to try

835
00:32:32,010 --> 00:32:33,450
that "less is more"
kind of acting,

836
00:32:33,451 --> 00:32:35,371
where you just... when you're
talking to someone,

837
00:32:35,851 --> 00:32:37,770
you close your eyes,
and then you look at them

838
00:32:37,771 --> 00:32:39,211
when you're not
talking to the person.

839
00:32:39,211 --> 00:32:41,131
I mean, you open your eyes
when you're looking away,

840
00:32:41,132 --> 00:32:42,570
but then when you
talk to the person,

841
00:32:42,571 --> 00:32:44,011
you go like that.
And you open your eyes,

842
00:32:44,012 --> 00:32:45,393
and then you look back
at the person,

843
00:32:45,452 --> 00:32:46,892
but you never open your eyes
when you're talking to them.

844
00:32:46,892 --> 00:32:48,331
The guffman news is really big,

845
00:32:48,332 --> 00:32:51,692
and, uh, i don't
truthfully think

846
00:32:51,693 --> 00:32:54,573
that the cast understand
how big.

847
00:32:55,053 --> 00:32:56,493
Um, they don't know
the new york thing.

848
00:32:56,494 --> 00:32:58,413
They haven't been
through it, and i have.

849
00:32:58,414 --> 00:33:00,814
You know, so it is kind of
on my shoulders,

850
00:33:01,294 --> 00:33:05,614
and... going to the big apple
for the first time,

851
00:33:05,614 --> 00:33:06,575
you know, is...

852
00:33:07,055 --> 00:33:08,974
such an experience.
You never forget it.

853
00:33:08,975 --> 00:33:10,896
It stays with you
for your whole life.

854
00:33:11,375 --> 00:33:12,815
Me, you know,
right out of the navy,

855
00:33:12,816 --> 00:33:15,215
you know,
fresh off a destroyer,

856
00:33:15,216 --> 00:33:18,096
uh, with a dance belt and a tube
of chapstick, basically.

857
00:33:18,577 --> 00:33:20,496
You know, not really much
to call my own.

858
00:33:20,497 --> 00:33:23,376
And then basically
being slammed down

859
00:33:23,377 --> 00:33:25,776
for 10 or so years, you know,

860
00:33:25,777 --> 00:33:28,177
off off off off broadway,

861
00:33:28,178 --> 00:33:31,057
and then enough is enough,
ok? I get the joke.

862
00:33:31,058 --> 00:33:33,938
And... is that gonna happen
again? I don't know.

863
00:33:33,939 --> 00:33:35,377
I mean, and i don't want it
to happen again.

864
00:33:35,378 --> 00:33:37,778
In my deepest,
deepest of hearts,

865
00:33:37,779 --> 00:33:39,698
i do not want it
to happen again.

866
00:33:39,699 --> 00:33:43,058
Mr. Guffman brings with him...
a reputation,

867
00:33:43,059 --> 00:33:46,420
something bigger than anyone
in this town has ever known,

868
00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:49,779
and if i am to get back
to new york city

869
00:33:49,780 --> 00:33:51,220
on my terms,

870
00:33:51,221 --> 00:33:54,100
i cannot deliver him...
a stinky product.

871
00:33:54,101 --> 00:33:58,421
I really have to be
presenting him a package.

872
00:33:58,422 --> 00:34:03,222
A beautifully wrapped,
glossy, sweet-smelling show.

873
00:34:03,223 --> 00:34:06,582
What i need from you...

874
00:34:06,583 --> 00:34:09,462
because you're the bosses
of the town, essentially,

875
00:34:09,463 --> 00:34:10,423
and i know that...

876
00:34:10,904 --> 00:34:11,864
is...

877
00:34:12,824 --> 00:34:14,263
this is so hard.

878
00:34:14,264 --> 00:34:16,183
I mean, there's nothing
easy about this.

879
00:34:16,184 --> 00:34:19,064
This is like when you're
getting your legs waxed,

880
00:34:19,065 --> 00:34:20,984
and they whip that thing off
real fast.

881
00:34:20,985 --> 00:34:23,385
That's what this is like.

882
00:34:23,386 --> 00:34:26,745
I need more money.

883
00:34:26,746 --> 00:34:28,665
How much do you need?

884
00:34:28,666 --> 00:34:31,545
Steve's right. How much
are you thinking of, now?

885
00:34:31,546 --> 00:34:33,466
Ok.

886
00:34:33,947 --> 00:34:35,387
What i need...

887
00:34:36,827 --> 00:34:38,748
is 100,000.

888
00:34:45,469 --> 00:34:46,907
Oh, brother!

889
00:34:46,908 --> 00:34:47,867
Corky!

890
00:34:47,868 --> 00:34:48,828
He is good.

891
00:34:48,828 --> 00:34:49,788
He is.

892
00:34:49,789 --> 00:34:51,229
And let me explain,

893
00:34:51,709 --> 00:34:53,149
let me explain what...

894
00:34:53,150 --> 00:34:54,110
go ahead.

895
00:34:54,589 --> 00:34:56,509
Oh, man, my heart stopped
for a second there.

896
00:34:56,509 --> 00:34:58,429
He started going "money"
and the whole guffman thing.

897
00:34:58,430 --> 00:35:00,830
Let me just explain
really what that entails.

898
00:35:00,831 --> 00:35:03,710
I bought it all the way,
by the way.

899
00:35:03,711 --> 00:35:05,630
He's not joking.
He's serious, glenn.

900
00:35:05,631 --> 00:35:07,070
He's... he's not kidding?

901
00:35:07,071 --> 00:35:08,990
Corky, our entire budget

902
00:35:08,991 --> 00:35:11,871
for the entire year
is $15,000 for everything,

903
00:35:11,872 --> 00:35:14,271
and that includes swimming.

904
00:35:14,272 --> 00:35:16,192
Well, i don't have any
swimming in my show.

905
00:35:16,193 --> 00:35:18,188
No, no. I mean the pool.
We have to keep up the pool.

906
00:35:18,592 --> 00:35:20,512
That's everything.
The entire year is 15,000.

907
00:35:20,513 --> 00:35:21,952
100,000?!

908
00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:24,833
Look, you're a nice fella
and all, glad you're here,

909
00:35:24,834 --> 00:35:28,673
but if i may be blunt...
what's wrong with you?

910
00:35:28,674 --> 00:35:29,634
I mean...

911
00:35:32,034 --> 00:35:33,474
So what i'm understanding here,

912
00:35:33,475 --> 00:35:34,915
correct me if i'm wrong,

913
00:35:35,395 --> 00:35:38,274
is that you're not
giving me any money.

914
00:35:38,275 --> 00:35:40,196
So now i'm left
basically with nothing.

915
00:35:40,675 --> 00:35:43,075
I'm left with zero,

916
00:35:43,076 --> 00:35:44,995
in which... in which...
what can i do with zero?

917
00:35:44,996 --> 00:35:47,876
You know, what can I...
i can't do anything with it.

918
00:35:47,877 --> 00:35:49,796
This is my life here
we're talking about.

919
00:35:49,797 --> 00:35:51,237
We're not just talking about,
you know, something else.

920
00:35:51,717 --> 00:35:53,156
We're talking about
my life, you know?

921
00:35:53,157 --> 00:35:55,557
And it's forcing me to do
something i don't want to do...

922
00:35:55,558 --> 00:35:56,997
to leave,

923
00:35:57,478 --> 00:35:59,877
to... to go out
and just leave and go home

924
00:35:59,878 --> 00:36:02,278
and say...
make a clean cut here

925
00:36:02,279 --> 00:36:04,199
and say, "no, way, corky.

926
00:36:04,678 --> 00:36:06,118
You're not putting up
with these people."

927
00:36:06,119 --> 00:36:08,518
And i'll tell you why
i can't put up with you people.

928
00:36:08,519 --> 00:36:10,438
Because you're bastard people.

929
00:36:10,439 --> 00:36:12,839
That's what you are.
You're just bastard people,

930
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:13,799
and i'm going home,
and i'm gonna...

931
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:17,641
i'm gonna bite my pillow
is what i'm gonna do!

932
00:36:23,921 --> 00:36:24,996
What do you use on your skin?

933
00:36:25,361 --> 00:36:25,841
Vaseline.

934
00:36:26,321 --> 00:36:28,240
Petroleum jelly
on your skin? Yeah.

935
00:36:28,241 --> 00:36:29,739
You are getting away
with murder, libby.

936
00:36:30,162 --> 00:36:32,081
You're young and it's ok,
but have i told you...

937
00:36:32,082 --> 00:36:33,522
libby, i have an announcement.

938
00:36:33,523 --> 00:36:35,442
I have to talk to you.

939
00:36:35,443 --> 00:36:37,363
Excuse me, libby.
I have to talk to you.

940
00:36:37,843 --> 00:36:38,802
I'm gonna round us up.

941
00:36:38,803 --> 00:36:40,242
Hold on. Gee.

942
00:36:40,243 --> 00:36:41,203
Dr. Pearl.

943
00:36:41,204 --> 00:36:42,163
Morning.

944
00:36:42,164 --> 00:36:44,083
Good morning.
We have an announcement.

945
00:36:44,084 --> 00:36:46,483
We have to talk. Ok?

946
00:36:46,484 --> 00:36:49,363
Gather around, please.
Gather around.

947
00:36:49,364 --> 00:36:50,805
Libby! Sheila.

948
00:36:51,284 --> 00:36:52,244
Excuse me, ron.

949
00:36:52,244 --> 00:36:54,164
Thank you. Dr. Pearl.

950
00:36:54,165 --> 00:36:56,084
Please be quiet.
I have an announcement.

951
00:36:56,085 --> 00:36:57,044
We've got to listen up here.

952
00:36:57,045 --> 00:36:58,486
Excuse me, are we
gonna be vocalizing?

953
00:36:58,965 --> 00:36:59,925
We will be vocalizing.

954
00:36:59,925 --> 00:37:01,614
Before we start, i'd
like to clear my throat.

955
00:37:03,286 --> 00:37:06,166
Yes, we'll be doing...
we'll be vocalizing.

956
00:37:06,167 --> 00:37:08,086
We'll be doing a lot of...
excuse me, please!

957
00:37:08,087 --> 00:37:11,446
Everybody, let's be serious now
just for a moment,

958
00:37:11,447 --> 00:37:13,366
and let's all listen up, ok?

959
00:37:13,367 --> 00:37:16,727
Corky has left the show,
and i am taking over.

960
00:37:16,728 --> 00:37:20,087
And what i want to do today
is start with some music,

961
00:37:20,088 --> 00:37:22,489
do dancing,
and work on our lines.

962
00:37:22,969 --> 00:37:24,408
And my hope is
at the end of 5 days,

963
00:37:24,409 --> 00:37:25,848
we will know
what we're doing...

964
00:37:25,849 --> 00:37:26,808
what do you mean?

965
00:37:26,809 --> 00:37:27,768
And we will have a show.

966
00:37:27,769 --> 00:37:28,729
Corky's left?

967
00:37:29,210 --> 00:37:30,649
You mean he's left
for today or permanently?

968
00:37:30,650 --> 00:37:34,009
Corky has quit the show,
and it's my show.

969
00:37:34,010 --> 00:37:35,449
Corky!

970
00:37:35,450 --> 00:37:36,891
Cork!

971
00:37:37,851 --> 00:37:38,811
Corky!

972
00:37:42,171 --> 00:37:43,130
Here, you go up.

973
00:37:43,131 --> 00:37:44,572
Boy, i only
do that twice a day,

974
00:37:45,051 --> 00:37:46,011
that's good exercise.

975
00:37:46,012 --> 00:37:47,451
You know,
most athletic injuries...

976
00:37:47,452 --> 00:37:48,412
is he not answering?

977
00:37:48,892 --> 00:37:49,851
Corky, we love you!

978
00:37:49,852 --> 00:37:50,811
Corky, open up!

979
00:37:50,812 --> 00:37:51,772
Corky!

980
00:37:52,253 --> 00:37:53,750
Corky, we love you!
We want you to live!

981
00:37:54,173 --> 00:37:55,612
There may be something wrong.

982
00:37:55,613 --> 00:37:56,918
Try the door.
Is the door unlocked?

983
00:38:07,615 --> 00:38:09,054
He wants to be alone right now.

984
00:38:09,055 --> 00:38:10,974
I'd never forgive myself
if something was wrong.

985
00:38:10,975 --> 00:38:14,336
Just shut up! Just shut up!
Jesus christ!

986
00:38:14,815 --> 00:38:15,775
Freaks!

987
00:38:17,216 --> 00:38:18,655
Freaky people, my god!

988
00:38:18,656 --> 00:38:20,575
I know how he feels, too!

989
00:38:20,576 --> 00:38:24,417
Guess i can just go back
to the dairy queen, you know.

990
00:38:28,738 --> 00:38:30,658
They said they'd take me back.

991
00:38:34,018 --> 00:38:36,419
I always have a place
at the dairy queen.

992
00:38:40,740 --> 00:38:42,178
You got to stop crying.

993
00:38:42,179 --> 00:38:43,619
She hasn't cried this much

994
00:38:43,620 --> 00:38:46,499
since the day we got
married. Honestly.

995
00:38:46,500 --> 00:38:48,899
You know, this is wonderful.

996
00:38:48,900 --> 00:38:51,300
Why didn't i react like this
when i was playing football

997
00:38:51,301 --> 00:38:53,700
for the blaine panthers
and our quarterback

998
00:38:53,701 --> 00:38:55,141
went down with
a dislocated knee?

999
00:38:55,142 --> 00:38:56,580
I should have said,
"time-out!"

1000
00:38:56,581 --> 00:38:57,540
'Cause you're strong, ron,
you're strong.

1001
00:38:57,541 --> 00:38:58,981
You're just a big brick!

1002
00:38:58,982 --> 00:39:00,902
Let's delay the game,
and my lip would tremble,

1003
00:39:01,382 --> 00:39:02,822
and i see we have
an injured quarterback.

1004
00:39:02,823 --> 00:39:04,743
Let's give up. No.
You know what we did?

1005
00:39:05,222 --> 00:39:06,662
We brought in the
second-string quarterback.

1006
00:39:06,663 --> 00:39:07,622
When he went down,

1007
00:39:07,623 --> 00:39:09,062
we brought in the
third-string quarterback,

1008
00:39:09,063 --> 00:39:10,503
and we went out,
and we whipped the pants

1009
00:39:10,504 --> 00:39:11,942
off of harry truman
high school,

1010
00:39:11,943 --> 00:39:13,863
and next week, went out
and mopped the floor

1011
00:39:13,864 --> 00:39:15,783
with blessed, uh,
heart of mary.

1012
00:39:15,784 --> 00:39:18,664
And they went on to win
the state championship.

1013
00:39:22,985 --> 00:39:24,425
To tell you the truth,

1014
00:39:24,905 --> 00:39:26,825
i haven't even
thought about it.

1015
00:39:26,826 --> 00:39:29,705
Not for a... not for a second
have i even dwelled on the fact

1016
00:39:29,706 --> 00:39:31,145
that the show's over.

1017
00:39:31,146 --> 00:39:34,025
I don't, uh, i don't, uh,
think about it.

1018
00:39:34,026 --> 00:39:35,466
L... i try not
to think about it,

1019
00:39:35,467 --> 00:39:37,386
and therefore,
i, you know, don't,

1020
00:39:37,387 --> 00:39:39,307
because it's a very healthy way

1021
00:39:39,787 --> 00:39:42,187
to deal with something
that is ultimately

1022
00:39:42,188 --> 00:39:43,626
not that important
in the long run.

1023
00:39:43,627 --> 00:39:46,987
It's not... not, uh,
not important at all,

1024
00:39:46,988 --> 00:39:48,428
you know, for me.

1025
00:39:51,308 --> 00:39:54,668
I'm just so sad for corky,
you know, i mean...

1026
00:39:54,669 --> 00:39:56,589
i think these creative people,

1027
00:39:56,590 --> 00:39:58,989
they're real emotional,
and, um...

1028
00:39:59,470 --> 00:40:01,390
i think the important thing
about show-biz people

1029
00:40:01,870 --> 00:40:03,789
is that you got to have
a-another life.

1030
00:40:03,790 --> 00:40:07,150
And I... i know, you know, uh,
he's... he's got a wife.

1031
00:40:07,151 --> 00:40:08,590
I guess she's out of town.

1032
00:40:08,591 --> 00:40:11,951
Um... because i haven't
seen her.

1033
00:40:11,952 --> 00:40:13,390
I've never seen her,

1034
00:40:13,391 --> 00:40:15,791
so, you know,
that could be the problem.

1035
00:40:15,792 --> 00:40:18,191
You know, maybe she's
just not supportive.

1036
00:40:18,192 --> 00:40:20,712
Corky, without you,
there's no show.

1037
00:40:20,713 --> 00:40:22,151
Without the show,
there's no celebration.

1038
00:40:22,152 --> 00:40:25,032
Without celebration,
there's no blaine.

1039
00:40:25,033 --> 00:40:27,433
So you see how
it's a domino effect.

1040
00:40:27,434 --> 00:40:29,354
You know how dominoes do that.

1041
00:40:29,833 --> 00:40:31,273
Without blaine,
i got news for you,

1042
00:40:31,274 --> 00:40:32,233
there's no missouri.

1043
00:40:32,234 --> 00:40:33,673
Blaine is the heart
of missouri.

1044
00:40:33,674 --> 00:40:36,554
What happens if missouri
goes down? You tell me.

1045
00:40:37,035 --> 00:40:40,394
We need the magic back
in the show, is what we need,

1046
00:40:40,395 --> 00:40:42,795
and it ain't gonna
happen with lloyd.

1047
00:40:42,796 --> 00:40:46,156
Lloyd is a music teacher,
and he shops at walmart.

1048
00:40:46,636 --> 00:40:47,864
He doesn't even
support the town.

1049
00:40:48,076 --> 00:40:50,476
The person who needs
you the most...

1050
00:40:50,477 --> 00:40:51,915
is blaine fabin.

1051
00:40:51,916 --> 00:40:53,356
Hear, hear.

1052
00:40:53,357 --> 00:40:56,236
And i'm not just saying that
because i am a fabin.

1053
00:40:56,237 --> 00:40:57,676
Ok, ok.

1054
00:40:57,677 --> 00:40:59,596
I'm saying that
because i just know

1055
00:40:59,597 --> 00:41:02,478
that nobody can touch, um...

1056
00:41:02,958 --> 00:41:04,878
that whole...

1057
00:41:04,878 --> 00:41:06,798
thing.

1058
00:41:06,799 --> 00:41:08,237
That whole thing, hmm?

1059
00:41:08,238 --> 00:41:10,158
You could take a nickel,

1060
00:41:10,159 --> 00:41:12,078
and you could make it
into a million dollars,

1061
00:41:12,079 --> 00:41:14,479
because this man is a genius,
and we cannot lose that.

1062
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,399
Look what you did withbarefoot
when you came to this town.

1063
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:17,839
Did you have any budget then?

1064
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,279
You didn't have $100,000 then,

1065
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,720
and look what happened
to that show.

1066
00:41:21,201 --> 00:41:22,160
And what aboutbackdraft?

1067
00:41:22,161 --> 00:41:23,599
You took a little bit
of cellophane,

1068
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,041
and you made it into flames!

1069
00:41:25,521 --> 00:41:26,960
You can still feel the heat.

1070
00:41:26,961 --> 00:41:28,400
You know what?
You're not wrong.

1071
00:41:28,401 --> 00:41:31,280
We need you
to take your magic wand...

1072
00:41:31,281 --> 00:41:35,121
and wave it and make
this town special again,

1073
00:41:35,122 --> 00:41:36,563
is what we need.

1074
00:41:37,523 --> 00:41:39,442
Will you do it?

1075
00:41:39,443 --> 00:41:40,882
Come on back, cork.

1076
00:41:40,883 --> 00:41:41,843
Please.

1077
00:41:48,564 --> 00:41:49,523
Whoo!
Whoo!

1078
00:41:49,524 --> 00:41:50,483
Whoo!

1079
00:41:50,484 --> 00:41:52,884
Whoo!

1080
00:41:52,885 --> 00:41:53,845
Whoo!

1081
00:41:54,324 --> 00:41:55,284
Whoo!

1082
00:41:55,285 --> 00:41:56,244
Yay!

1083
00:41:56,245 --> 00:41:57,204
Thank you.

1084
00:41:57,205 --> 00:41:58,164
Yay!

1085
00:41:58,165 --> 00:42:00,084
Whoo!
Whoo!

1086
00:42:00,085 --> 00:42:01,526
Please! Oh!

1087
00:42:02,005 --> 00:42:02,965
Whoo!

1088
00:42:02,966 --> 00:42:04,885
All right,
thank you, thank you.

1089
00:42:04,886 --> 00:42:07,287
Thank you. Thank you.

1090
00:42:07,766 --> 00:42:11,607
Ok, let's pretend that
it never happened, ok?

1091
00:42:12,087 --> 00:42:14,008
And let's just jump
intocovered wagons.

1092
00:42:14,487 --> 00:42:16,406
All right? Let's start
from the dance part.

1093
00:42:16,407 --> 00:42:17,367
Covered wagons!

1094
00:42:21,208 --> 00:42:23,128
Whoo!

1095
00:42:25,048 --> 00:42:26,009
Waah!

1096
00:42:26,489 --> 00:42:29,369
In a funny way,
what the city council did

1097
00:42:29,370 --> 00:42:31,289
was really give me a challenge,

1098
00:42:31,290 --> 00:42:35,129
and it's a challenge
that i am going to accept.

1099
00:42:35,130 --> 00:42:38,010
It's like in the olden days
and the days in france

1100
00:42:38,011 --> 00:42:41,370
when men would slap each other
with their gloves,

1101
00:42:41,371 --> 00:42:42,331
and say, you know,

1102
00:42:42,811 --> 00:42:44,250
"d'artagnan, you know,

1103
00:42:44,251 --> 00:42:46,651
how dare you talk
to me like that, you!"

1104
00:42:46,652 --> 00:42:48,571
And smack 'im.

1105
00:42:48,572 --> 00:42:50,652
Stool boom

1106
00:42:50,652 --> 00:42:53,532
From the parlor
to the pool room

1107
00:42:53,533 --> 00:42:56,892
We're the center
of a stool boom

1108
00:42:56,893 --> 00:43:00,732
?
Everyone knows our name?

1109
00:43:00,733 --> 00:43:02,174
Working, making

1110
00:43:02,654 --> 00:43:04,093
Never stopping, never sleeping

1111
00:43:04,094 --> 00:43:05,533
Working, building

1112
00:43:05,534 --> 00:43:06,975
Some for selling,
some for keeping

1113
00:43:07,454 --> 00:43:08,894
You will drool

1114
00:43:08,895 --> 00:43:11,774
At the splendor
of these magic stools

1115
00:43:11,775 --> 00:43:13,215
It's the rule

1116
00:43:13,696 --> 00:43:15,615
Everyone has a stool

1117
00:43:15,616 --> 00:43:17,055
Just 3 legs

1118
00:43:17,055 --> 00:43:19,935
It's the thing
for which a monarch begs

1119
00:43:19,936 --> 00:43:21,855
Hock your jewels

1120
00:43:21,856 --> 00:43:23,296
I did want to mention
one thing.

1121
00:43:23,297 --> 00:43:24,736
Mm-hmm?

1122
00:43:26,657 --> 00:43:27,616
Specs?

1123
00:43:27,617 --> 00:43:30,496
1845, you know,

1124
00:43:30,497 --> 00:43:33,377
i think it's a little problem.

1125
00:43:33,378 --> 00:43:34,818
Oh, oh, oh.

1126
00:43:35,298 --> 00:43:37,217
My glasses.

1127
00:43:37,218 --> 00:43:38,658
You're saying...

1128
00:43:38,659 --> 00:43:40,098
i don't think
you should wear them.

1129
00:43:40,099 --> 00:43:41,538
Don't wear them in the show?

1130
00:43:41,539 --> 00:43:42,978
It's mostly in covered wagons,

1131
00:43:42,979 --> 00:43:43,938
because i think that's the one

1132
00:43:43,939 --> 00:43:47,299
where it's just not
as believable.

1133
00:43:47,300 --> 00:43:50,180
Of course, when you get
further up in time,

1134
00:43:50,660 --> 00:43:52,100
historically, it's...

1135
00:43:52,101 --> 00:43:54,020
i can see a couple of problems.

1136
00:43:54,021 --> 00:43:55,940
Nothing major. Nothing
that we can't solve.

1137
00:43:55,941 --> 00:43:58,340
One, um...

1138
00:43:58,341 --> 00:44:00,261
contrary to public opinion,

1139
00:44:00,742 --> 00:44:04,101
i don't see very well
without my glasses,

1140
00:44:04,102 --> 00:44:06,981
so i'm thinking is that
going to be a problem

1141
00:44:06,982 --> 00:44:09,382
for me... just look out.

1142
00:44:09,383 --> 00:44:14,182
And the other thing
which is also a problem

1143
00:44:14,183 --> 00:44:17,543
is i have a very lazy eye

1144
00:44:18,024 --> 00:44:23,303
which these prescription
glasses help correct.

1145
00:44:23,304 --> 00:44:26,544
Wo 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and...

1146
00:44:26,545 --> 00:44:30,864
Blue sky, blue sea

1147
00:44:30,865 --> 00:44:34,705
Blue grass, blue tree

1148
00:44:34,706 --> 00:44:36,625
Red as the fire in our hearts

1149
00:44:36,626 --> 00:44:39,026
That makes this country strong

1150
00:44:39,027 --> 00:44:40,946
Red as the fire in our hearts

1151
00:44:40,947 --> 00:44:42,866
That helps us sing this song

1152
00:44:42,867 --> 00:44:44,787
Getting off the horse
is not a problem.

1153
00:44:44,788 --> 00:44:46,707
I can get off
the horse like that,

1154
00:44:46,708 --> 00:44:47,667
but where i'm having a problem

1155
00:44:47,668 --> 00:44:49,108
is that sometimes
the horse comes out

1156
00:44:49,588 --> 00:44:51,508
and i can't get past the cow.

1157
00:44:51,508 --> 00:44:53,428
So i have to kind of
do this when i come out.

1158
00:44:53,429 --> 00:44:55,828
"Gather round,
for i have news."

1159
00:44:55,829 --> 00:44:57,748
I don't know which
is more lifelike,

1160
00:44:57,749 --> 00:44:59,668
the horse
or dr. Pearl.

1161
00:44:59,669 --> 00:45:02,070
Oh! Ha ha ha!
You.

1162
00:45:02,549 --> 00:45:04,949
Corky?
Here's the phone.

1163
00:45:04,950 --> 00:45:05,909
It's johnny.

1164
00:45:05,910 --> 00:45:07,350
I feel like a hero...

1165
00:45:07,831 --> 00:45:09,751
hello?

1166
00:45:10,230 --> 00:45:11,671
Yeah?

1167
00:45:13,111 --> 00:45:14,551
What do you mean?

1168
00:45:14,551 --> 00:45:16,472
Then we back up.

1169
00:45:16,951 --> 00:45:18,717
But i've been waiting
for you to turn around...

1170
00:45:18,872 --> 00:45:19,832
What are you saying?

1171
00:45:20,312 --> 00:45:21,271
Shh!

1172
00:45:21,272 --> 00:45:23,672
I understand that.
No, i understand.

1173
00:45:24,153 --> 00:45:25,112
Believe me, i do understand.

1174
00:45:25,113 --> 00:45:29,913
What can you do is
just say absolutely not!

1175
00:45:29,914 --> 00:45:31,833
Do you understand that?

1176
00:45:31,834 --> 00:45:33,273
I don't believe that.

1177
00:45:33,273 --> 00:45:35,673
No, i'm sorry.
I do not accept that.

1178
00:45:35,674 --> 00:45:37,113
That is not an answer, no.

1179
00:45:37,114 --> 00:45:39,994
It's absolutely unacceptable
that you would say this now.

1180
00:45:40,475 --> 00:45:42,875
Not today! No!

1181
00:45:44,795 --> 00:45:46,714
And that's the way it is?

1182
00:45:46,715 --> 00:45:48,635
Then i just hate you!

1183
00:45:48,635 --> 00:45:51,516
And i hate your ass face!

1184
00:45:51,996 --> 00:45:54,395
What's up?
Oh, corky.

1185
00:45:54,396 --> 00:45:55,836
Johnny's not in the show.

1186
00:45:55,837 --> 00:45:58,716
His dad said he has
to go back to work.

1187
00:45:58,717 --> 00:46:00,638
What does he think
this is, school,

1188
00:46:01,117 --> 00:46:02,558
that he can be marked
absent one day?

1189
00:46:03,037 --> 00:46:04,957
This is the day
of the show, y'all.

1190
00:46:04,958 --> 00:46:05,917
Oh, my god.

1191
00:46:05,918 --> 00:46:07,837
Just... just...

1192
00:46:07,838 --> 00:46:09,278
This is very strange.

1193
00:46:09,279 --> 00:46:11,351
Ron, just... just let me think
for a second, all right?

1194
00:46:11,679 --> 00:46:13,598
I've just got
to take a breath here

1195
00:46:13,599 --> 00:46:16,479
and... and try to figure
this out, all right?

1196
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:24,159
It's tight.
That hurts.

1197
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:25,600
If you could hike
it up a little bit

1198
00:46:25,601 --> 00:46:27,040
you'd get more room.

1199
00:46:27,041 --> 00:46:28,480
I am pulling them up.

1200
00:46:28,481 --> 00:46:30,400
Sort of trying to commit
to one side here, dear.

1201
00:46:30,401 --> 00:46:33,760
This is johnny's costume,
and johnny is a lot...

1202
00:46:33,761 --> 00:46:36,161
he's a different
body type than you are.

1203
00:46:36,162 --> 00:46:38,561
This is... i don't...
i'm worried...

1204
00:46:38,562 --> 00:46:40,002
i'm about 5 inches away...

1205
00:46:40,003 --> 00:46:40,962
i understand.

1206
00:46:40,963 --> 00:46:42,882
Wo Actors, we're at 15 minutes.

1207
00:46:42,883 --> 00:46:43,843
Oh, my god!
Aah!

1208
00:46:44,323 --> 00:46:45,282
We're at 15.

1209
00:46:45,283 --> 00:46:47,683
No, we gotta move now.
Come on.

1210
00:46:47,684 --> 00:46:49,603
You're gonna have
to help me here.

1211
00:46:49,604 --> 00:46:51,524
Ok, ok.
Help me here!

1212
00:47:01,125 --> 00:47:02,086
I'm so nervous.

1213
00:47:02,565 --> 00:47:03,525
You're gonna be great.

1214
00:47:04,006 --> 00:47:04,966
If there's an empty space,
just say a line.

1215
00:47:05,446 --> 00:47:06,405
That's what i like to do.

1216
00:47:06,406 --> 00:47:07,846
Even if it's from another show.

1217
00:47:14,567 --> 00:47:16,006
Agnes, where's the lilac dress?

1218
00:47:16,007 --> 00:47:16,967
You mean the purple one?

1219
00:47:17,448 --> 00:47:18,407
Yes. Where is it?

1220
00:47:18,408 --> 00:47:19,846
Honey, i told you to lay off
the hot fudge sundaes.

1221
00:47:19,847 --> 00:47:21,287
I couldn't let the seams out.

1222
00:47:21,288 --> 00:47:22,727
It's not here?

1223
00:47:22,728 --> 00:47:24,648
Not it is not.
Hello, sweetheart.

1224
00:47:37,890 --> 00:47:39,810
Oh, i destroyed my makeup!

1225
00:47:39,811 --> 00:47:42,209
Mmm. Hark!
A rider approaches!

1226
00:47:42,210 --> 00:47:43,170
Oh, god!

1227
00:47:43,171 --> 00:47:45,090
It's all right.
Just... careful.

1228
00:47:45,091 --> 00:47:47,010
I hope that isn't too hot.

1229
00:47:47,011 --> 00:47:48,931
No, no, it's just fine.

1230
00:48:28,296 --> 00:48:30,216
May i remind you, please?

1231
00:48:30,217 --> 00:48:31,176
No glasses for
the first number.

1232
00:48:31,177 --> 00:48:32,617
Oh, no, no, no, I...

1233
00:48:32,618 --> 00:48:35,016
actors?
We're at places.

1234
00:48:35,017 --> 00:48:37,418
Have a good show everybody!
Break a leg!

1235
00:49:10,542 --> 00:49:12,942
Don't worry about anything
'cause it's gonna all roll...

1236
00:49:12,943 --> 00:49:14,862
he's not here.

1237
00:49:14,863 --> 00:49:16,302
He's not here.
What?

1238
00:49:16,303 --> 00:49:18,222
Not here? Guffman?

1239
00:49:18,223 --> 00:49:19,260
Should we lower the curtain?

1240
00:49:19,664 --> 00:49:20,143
Corky!

1241
00:49:20,624 --> 00:49:22,543
Everybody, look, look,

1242
00:49:22,544 --> 00:49:24,463
i've been through this
a million times.

1243
00:49:24,464 --> 00:49:26,384
These new york types
like to come late.

1244
00:49:26,385 --> 00:49:28,784
Believe me. I've never seen
one of them come on time

1245
00:49:29,265 --> 00:49:30,705
in all my years in the theater.

1246
00:49:31,185 --> 00:49:33,104
Take a deep breath...

1247
00:49:33,105 --> 00:49:34,544
blow it out.

1248
00:49:34,545 --> 00:49:36,945
He's gonna be here.
Let's just do a good show, ok?

1249
00:49:36,946 --> 00:49:39,345
Everybody do a good show.
Hands in the middle.

1250
00:49:39,346 --> 00:49:42,707
Wwwwwhoa!

1251
00:50:13,271 --> 00:50:15,670
Oh, howdy.

1252
00:50:15,671 --> 00:50:19,990
Eh, didn't see you
sneak up on me there.

1253
00:50:19,991 --> 00:50:21,431
But if you like,

1254
00:50:21,432 --> 00:50:23,832
you're welcome to share
my campfire with me.

1255
00:50:24,312 --> 00:50:27,192
I was just fixing
to get me some grub.

1256
00:50:27,193 --> 00:50:29,593
Beans.
Mmm.

1257
00:50:30,073 --> 00:50:34,392
I love beans.
Big, fat, hot juicy beans.

1258
00:50:34,393 --> 00:50:37,273
Now, don't get me
going on beans

1259
00:50:37,274 --> 00:50:40,635
or i'll be jabberir away
till the sun comes up.

1260
00:50:41,595 --> 00:50:43,995
But, you know,
now that i've got your ear,

1261
00:50:44,475 --> 00:50:47,355
there is a story i wouldn't
mind sharing with you.

1262
00:50:47,356 --> 00:50:49,754
It's a tall tale
that grows taller

1263
00:50:49,755 --> 00:50:51,675
with each passing year.

1264
00:50:51,676 --> 00:50:55,037
It's the story of blaine.

1265
00:51:09,438 --> 00:51:11,358
Well, we've traveled
long and far today.

1266
00:51:11,359 --> 00:51:12,797
We must let the women
and children rest.

1267
00:51:12,798 --> 00:51:15,678
Don't you rest on our account,
daniel potter.

1268
00:51:15,679 --> 00:51:19,039
We women are just as strong
and resilient as you men.

1269
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:20,478
Ha ha ha!

1270
00:51:20,479 --> 00:51:22,399
I do believe you are, rebecca.

1271
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:23,360
I do believe you are.

1272
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,721
California will be a sight
for these weary eyes.

1273
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,600
Mine as well,
rebecca, mine as well.

1274
00:51:29,601 --> 00:51:32,000
But right now we need
a campfire to warm our souls

1275
00:51:32,001 --> 00:51:33,441
and to cook our food.

1276
00:51:33,442 --> 00:51:34,881
Done.

1277
00:51:37,282 --> 00:51:38,241
Oh.

1278
00:51:38,242 --> 00:51:39,681
Oh.

1279
00:51:39,682 --> 00:51:43,042
That will be quite enough
of that, billy whittaker.

1280
00:51:43,043 --> 00:51:44,482
Just one kiss?

1281
00:51:44,483 --> 00:51:46,402
There'll be plenty
of time for kissing

1282
00:51:46,403 --> 00:51:48,322
when we get to california.

1283
00:51:48,323 --> 00:51:50,242
Lfwe get to california.

1284
00:51:50,243 --> 00:51:52,163
Oh, we'll get there.

1285
00:51:52,164 --> 00:51:55,043
Blaine fabin will
lead us there.

1286
00:51:55,044 --> 00:51:56,963
Hark! A rider approaches.

1287
00:51:56,964 --> 00:51:59,364
Blaine fabin returns!

1288
00:51:59,365 --> 00:52:02,724
Whoa!

1289
00:52:02,725 --> 00:52:04,165
Ho there!

1290
00:52:04,166 --> 00:52:08,005
Whoa, steady.

1291
00:52:08,006 --> 00:52:10,886
Gather round for i have news.

1292
00:52:11,366 --> 00:52:12,326
What news?

1293
00:52:12,807 --> 00:52:16,167
What did your keen and
perceptive eyes behold?

1294
00:52:16,647 --> 00:52:19,046
Just up yonder,
there is a ridge.

1295
00:52:19,047 --> 00:52:21,447
How high a ridge,
i could not tell,

1296
00:52:21,448 --> 00:52:24,327
for the sun had set
and darkness fell

1297
00:52:24,328 --> 00:52:26,248
before i reached its pinnacle.

1298
00:52:26,248 --> 00:52:30,088
Then... a strange thing
happened.

1299
00:52:30,089 --> 00:52:32,968
My nose started twitchir.

1300
00:52:32,969 --> 00:52:36,328
There was a mysterious
scent in the night air.

1301
00:52:36,329 --> 00:52:37,769
What? What kind
of scent?

1302
00:52:37,770 --> 00:52:39,690
What was this mysterious scent?

1303
00:52:40,170 --> 00:52:43,049
It was the scent of salt water!

1304
00:52:43,050 --> 00:52:44,009
Oh!
Salt water!

1305
00:52:44,010 --> 00:52:45,451
Salt water?

1306
00:52:46,891 --> 00:52:48,491
Ladies and gentlemen,

1307
00:52:48,492 --> 00:52:50,411
we have reached
our destination!

1308
00:52:50,412 --> 00:52:52,811
We have reached the pacific!

1309
00:52:52,812 --> 00:52:55,691
Welcome to california!

1310
00:52:55,692 --> 00:52:57,133
Yay!
Yay!

1311
00:53:01,933 --> 00:53:04,332
Grab your feller by the hand

1312
00:53:04,333 --> 00:53:06,733
Welcome him
to the promised land

1313
00:53:06,734 --> 00:53:09,133
Grab your lady by the arm

1314
00:53:09,134 --> 00:53:11,535
Take her out behind the barn

1315
00:53:15,375 --> 00:53:17,295
Everybody dance!

1316
00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:28,336
Whoo!

1317
00:54:05,781 --> 00:54:07,701
That was great!

1318
00:54:07,701 --> 00:54:08,661
Shut up.
I can't believe...

1319
00:54:08,662 --> 00:54:09,621
oh, my!

1320
00:54:09,622 --> 00:54:12,023
60 years went by,

1321
00:54:12,502 --> 00:54:15,382
and the town of blaine kept
a-growir and a-changir.

1322
00:54:15,382 --> 00:54:17,782
Every time you looked around,
a new house was going up,

1323
00:54:17,783 --> 00:54:19,703
a new family was moving in.

1324
00:54:19,704 --> 00:54:21,142
Hurry, agnes.

1325
00:54:21,143 --> 00:54:23,063
I am trying to hurry.
There we go.

1326
00:54:23,544 --> 00:54:24,984
You got my hat?
Where's my hat?

1327
00:54:25,464 --> 00:54:27,384
Your hat? Right here
is your hat, darling.

1328
00:54:27,385 --> 00:54:31,704
Mcgillicuddy's orchard became
the blaine elementary school.

1329
00:54:31,705 --> 00:54:34,584
They even laid track for
that newfangled invention,

1330
00:54:34,585 --> 00:54:36,026
the iron horse,

1331
00:54:36,505 --> 00:54:39,386
which brought a pretty
important visitor to blaine.

1332
00:54:40,826 --> 00:54:43,706
Yay!
It's president mckinley!

1333
00:54:43,707 --> 00:54:46,106
Hurrah! Hurrah!

1334
00:54:46,107 --> 00:54:48,026
Good people of blaine,

1335
00:54:48,027 --> 00:54:50,428
they told me
my next stop was wichita,

1336
00:54:50,907 --> 00:54:53,307
but i said,
"what about blaine?"

1337
00:54:53,308 --> 00:54:55,707
Yay!
Hurrah!

1338
00:54:55,708 --> 00:54:58,109
I guess i need
a new travel agent.

1339
00:55:00,029 --> 00:55:03,869
Mr. President,
in honor of our visit...

1340
00:55:04,349 --> 00:55:07,228
yourvisit toourtown,

1341
00:55:07,229 --> 00:55:09,150
i present you humbly

1342
00:55:09,630 --> 00:55:12,509
with this fair key to our city.

1343
00:55:12,510 --> 00:55:14,430
Well, i do declare,
i believe the key to this city

1344
00:55:14,431 --> 00:55:16,831
is larger than the city itself.

1345
00:55:18,751 --> 00:55:20,191
Wait, mr. President!

1346
00:55:20,191 --> 00:55:21,630
What have we here?

1347
00:55:21,631 --> 00:55:24,511
It's a footstool.
I make them.

1348
00:55:24,512 --> 00:55:26,431
Well, isn't that interesting?

1349
00:55:26,432 --> 00:55:28,351
I'll take this back
to washington with me,

1350
00:55:28,352 --> 00:55:30,271
and every time i rest my feet

1351
00:55:30,272 --> 00:55:33,152
i'll think of blaine.

1352
00:55:33,153 --> 00:55:35,553
Yay!
Hurrah!

1353
00:55:35,553 --> 00:55:37,952
Hurrah!

1354
00:55:37,953 --> 00:55:40,353
Now, we all know
that politicians

1355
00:55:40,354 --> 00:55:42,273
aren't used to keeping
their word...

1356
00:55:42,274 --> 00:55:44,194
he's here.
He's here.

1357
00:55:44,195 --> 00:55:46,115
I told you he was gonna come.

1358
00:55:46,594 --> 00:55:47,554
Should we start over again?

1359
00:55:47,555 --> 00:55:49,954
He didn't see covered wagons!

1360
00:55:49,955 --> 00:55:51,595
Well, before you know it,

1361
00:55:51,596 --> 00:55:53,515
everyone rich and poor alike

1362
00:55:53,516 --> 00:55:56,396
had to have a blaine stool
in their home.

1363
00:55:56,876 --> 00:55:58,795
The little town never
knew what hit it.

1364
00:55:58,796 --> 00:56:03,596
Footstool factories
sprouted up like toadstools.

1365
00:56:03,597 --> 00:56:05,516
Everyone had a good job,

1366
00:56:05,517 --> 00:56:07,918
everyone was making
a good wage.

1367
00:56:08,397 --> 00:56:11,278
Blaine was on the map.

1368
00:56:22,799 --> 00:56:24,718
By the pool

1369
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:27,119
In the school,
by the fires of yule

1370
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:29,519
It's the rule

1371
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:30,960
There's a stool,
there's a stool

1372
00:56:30,961 --> 00:56:33,360
Stools are where

1373
00:56:33,361 --> 00:56:35,760
Once upon a time
you'd find a chair

1374
00:56:35,761 --> 00:56:37,681
A chair's for fools

1375
00:56:37,682 --> 00:56:40,561
Everybody wants stools

1376
00:56:40,562 --> 00:56:42,481
Stool boom

1377
00:56:42,482 --> 00:56:45,363
From the parlor
to the pool room

1378
00:56:45,842 --> 00:56:48,722
We're the center
of a stool boom

1379
00:56:48,723 --> 00:56:52,562
?
Everyone knows our name?

1380
00:56:52,563 --> 00:56:54,482
Working, building

1381
00:56:54,483 --> 00:56:55,923
Never stopping, never sleeping

1382
00:56:55,924 --> 00:56:57,363
Working, making

1383
00:56:57,364 --> 00:56:58,803
Some for selling,
some for keeping

1384
00:56:58,804 --> 00:57:00,725
You will drool

1385
00:57:01,204 --> 00:57:03,123
At the splendor of
these magic stools

1386
00:57:03,124 --> 00:57:05,524
It's the rule

1387
00:57:05,525 --> 00:57:07,445
Everyone has a stool

1388
00:57:07,445 --> 00:57:09,365
Just 3 legs

1389
00:57:09,366 --> 00:57:11,766
It's a thing
for which a monarch begs

1390
00:57:12,246 --> 00:57:13,686
Hock your jewels

1391
00:57:14,166 --> 00:57:16,087
Use the money for stools

1392
00:57:16,567 --> 00:57:18,007
Stool boom

1393
00:57:18,487 --> 00:57:21,367
Just 3 legs
and watch the sales zoom

1394
00:57:21,368 --> 00:57:24,727
Like a fever, it's a stool boom

1395
00:57:24,728 --> 00:57:29,048
And it's spreading out
from blaine

1396
00:57:29,049 --> 00:57:30,488
Working, building

1397
00:57:30,489 --> 00:57:31,928
Never stopping, never sleeping

1398
00:57:31,929 --> 00:57:33,368
Working, making

1399
00:57:33,369 --> 00:57:34,809
Some for selling,
some for keeping

1400
00:57:34,810 --> 00:57:36,729
Working, building

1401
00:57:36,730 --> 00:57:38,649
Never stopping, never sleeping

1402
00:57:38,650 --> 00:57:41,049
Working, making

1403
00:57:41,050 --> 00:57:42,969
Some for selling

1404
00:57:42,970 --> 00:57:46,810
Some for keeping

1405
00:57:46,811 --> 00:57:49,211
Whew.

1406
00:58:12,374 --> 00:58:14,773
I can't wait
to see the second half.

1407
00:58:14,774 --> 00:58:17,174
Allan, his dramatic work...

1408
00:58:17,175 --> 00:58:18,614
i mean, i knew he was funny,

1409
00:58:18,615 --> 00:58:22,454
and i knew he could move, dance,
'cause he's that way,

1410
00:58:22,455 --> 00:58:27,255
but i think his dramatical work
is so moving that, um...

1411
00:58:27,256 --> 00:58:29,656
well, i mean,
i called joyce and i said,

1412
00:58:29,657 --> 00:58:32,536
"joyce, bring joshie 'cause
i gotta feed him halftime

1413
00:58:32,537 --> 00:58:33,976
'cause i'm just busting."

1414
00:58:33,977 --> 00:58:35,896
This is good.
Boy, they're moving.

1415
00:58:35,897 --> 00:58:36,856
They're dancing
all over the place

1416
00:58:36,857 --> 00:58:38,776
and the songs are very catchy.

1417
00:58:38,777 --> 00:58:40,217
Uh, very catchy.

1418
00:58:40,218 --> 00:58:42,137
Can't get a few of them
out of my head.

1419
00:58:42,138 --> 00:58:43,577
Almost to an annoying point,

1420
00:58:43,578 --> 00:58:46,458
but i think it's good
when a song is catchy.

1421
00:58:46,939 --> 00:58:50,298
From the little experience
i have in show business.

1422
00:58:50,299 --> 00:58:54,138
I knew corky that could act
and direct and produce,

1423
00:58:54,139 --> 00:58:56,096
but who knew he was going
to act and sing and dance?

1424
00:58:56,540 --> 00:58:58,940
You know, he can just do
everything there is to do,

1425
00:58:59,421 --> 00:59:01,148
and there's only one
other person in the world

1426
00:59:01,341 --> 00:59:03,260
that can do that and
that's barbra streisand.

1427
00:59:03,261 --> 00:59:06,140
He is...

1428
00:59:06,141 --> 00:59:08,540
I don't know.
An inspiration to this town.

1429
00:59:08,541 --> 00:59:10,462
That's... that's what he is.

1430
00:59:10,942 --> 00:59:13,342
And i, for one, am very glad

1431
00:59:13,822 --> 00:59:15,261
to see that johnny savage
dropped out of the show,

1432
00:59:15,262 --> 00:59:17,662
because a couple years ago,
he came into the drugstore

1433
00:59:17,663 --> 00:59:20,062
and he tried to steal
my stamp machine,

1434
00:59:20,063 --> 00:59:21,982
and that kid is no good.

1435
00:59:21,983 --> 00:59:23,902
You could tell just by
his parents he's no good,

1436
00:59:23,903 --> 00:59:26,303
and he would not have added
anything to this show.

1437
00:59:26,304 --> 00:59:27,263
Where corky
on the other hand...

1438
00:59:27,264 --> 00:59:28,704
Iook at him! Did you see...

1439
00:59:29,184 --> 00:59:32,025
god, i wish i was in the show!

1440
00:59:51,267 --> 00:59:53,188
I hear that french girls...

1441
00:59:53,667 --> 00:59:55,586
are very pretty.

1442
00:59:55,587 --> 00:59:57,987
That they wear
the finest of clothes.

1443
00:59:57,988 --> 01:00:00,387
I also hear
that they are experts

1444
01:00:00,388 --> 01:00:02,307
in the ways of love.

1445
01:00:02,308 --> 01:00:05,668
Ima, i'm going to fight
for my country.

1446
01:00:05,669 --> 01:00:08,549
To fight, and yes, perhaps die

1447
01:00:08,550 --> 01:00:11,909
so that young men
from here to timbuktu

1448
01:00:11,910 --> 01:00:15,749
can feel the wind of freedom
blowing through their hair.

1449
01:00:15,750 --> 01:00:19,590
Oh, monty, i didn't
mean to doubt you.

1450
01:00:19,591 --> 01:00:24,391
It's just sometimes i feel
as if i don't really know you.

1451
01:00:26,311 --> 01:00:28,712
I would still pay.

1452
01:00:31,112 --> 01:00:34,472
A penny for your thoughts

1453
01:00:34,473 --> 01:00:37,352
A dime for your dreams

1454
01:00:37,353 --> 01:00:40,233
Would a shiny new quarter

1455
01:00:40,234 --> 01:00:43,594
Buy a peek at your schemes?

1456
01:00:44,074 --> 01:00:46,954
And when you are away

1457
01:00:46,955 --> 01:00:49,834
So far from my side

1458
01:00:49,835 --> 01:00:53,194
I will cherish
my penny's won'th

1459
01:00:53,195 --> 01:00:57,035
Till at last i'm your bride

1460
01:01:01,357 --> 01:01:04,236
A penny for your thoughts

1461
01:01:04,237 --> 01:01:06,637
Let's call it a deal

1462
01:01:07,117 --> 01:01:09,997
I don't have any secrets

1463
01:01:09,998 --> 01:01:13,357
You know how i feel

1464
01:01:13,358 --> 01:01:15,277
That's it. No, no.
Hey, here.

1465
01:01:15,278 --> 01:01:16,237
Where?

1466
01:01:16,238 --> 01:01:17,197
You know where i like the curl.

1467
01:01:17,198 --> 01:01:18,638
Ron, i have to get
myself ready.

1468
01:01:18,639 --> 01:01:20,558
There it is. Nice.

1469
01:01:20,559 --> 01:01:23,438
Now, a little fluff here
and you can work on yourself.

1470
01:01:23,439 --> 01:01:26,319
A penny for your thoughts

1471
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:28,720
It's settled and done

1472
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:32,080
I'd have offered a million

1473
01:01:32,081 --> 01:01:35,920
I'd have done it for none

1474
01:01:35,921 --> 01:01:39,280
I reckon we're in love

1475
01:01:39,281 --> 01:01:41,682
And married we'll be

1476
01:01:42,161 --> 01:01:45,041
And all for a penny

1477
01:01:45,042 --> 01:01:47,922
A bright copper penny

1478
01:01:48,403 --> 01:01:51,763
The penny that brought you

1479
01:01:52,243 --> 01:01:52,723
To me

1480
01:02:23,927 --> 01:02:25,366
It was so good.

1481
01:02:25,367 --> 01:02:27,287
I told you you'd be able
to lift me like that.

1482
01:02:27,768 --> 01:02:28,727
Ha ha! You were right!

1483
01:02:28,728 --> 01:02:30,167
You lifted me up!

1484
01:02:30,168 --> 01:02:34,368
Yes, after our brave fighting
boys returned from the war,

1485
01:02:34,369 --> 01:02:36,288
things got
back to normal in blaine.

1486
01:02:36,289 --> 01:02:39,649
Until one summer night in 1946,

1487
01:02:40,130 --> 01:02:44,930
when unexpected visitors
put us back on the map.

1488
01:02:49,250 --> 01:02:49,749
Where are we?

1489
01:02:50,210 --> 01:02:50,979
How did we get here?

1490
01:02:51,171 --> 01:02:53,091
Is this a dream?

1491
01:02:56,452 --> 01:02:58,371
Look, what is it?

1492
01:02:58,372 --> 01:02:59,811
I don't know.

1493
01:02:59,812 --> 01:03:01,731
It looks like one of them
new feed storage bins.

1494
01:03:01,732 --> 01:03:03,651
That ain't no feed storage bin!

1495
01:03:03,652 --> 01:03:05,092
How did it get here?

1496
01:03:05,093 --> 01:03:06,532
It must've flew!

1497
01:03:06,533 --> 01:03:08,452
But it don't have any wings.

1498
01:03:08,453 --> 01:03:10,372
Then i guess it just dropped...

1499
01:03:10,373 --> 01:03:12,292
from somewhere up there.

1500
01:03:12,293 --> 01:03:14,693
Citizens of blaine,

1501
01:03:14,694 --> 01:03:16,133
do not be alarmed.

1502
01:03:16,134 --> 01:03:18,053
We will not harm you.

1503
01:03:18,054 --> 01:03:22,374
We come in peace from
a planet far, far away.

1504
01:03:22,375 --> 01:03:24,774
A place we call mars.

1505
01:03:24,775 --> 01:03:26,215
I've heard of mars.

1506
01:03:26,216 --> 01:03:27,175
Where's that?

1507
01:03:27,176 --> 01:03:31,016
Stand back and
your queries will be answered.

1508
01:03:32,937 --> 01:03:35,336
Look out!

1509
01:03:42,538 --> 01:03:43,978
What do you want from us?

1510
01:03:44,458 --> 01:03:46,857
A good question, earthling.

1511
01:03:46,858 --> 01:03:49,258
It seemed like
it was time for a change.

1512
01:03:49,259 --> 01:03:50,698
Time to take a trip

1513
01:03:51,179 --> 01:03:54,059
to see the exciting places
in the galaxy.

1514
01:03:54,539 --> 01:03:55,499
For you see...

1515
01:03:55,980 --> 01:03:59,339
Nothing ever happens on mars

1516
01:03:59,340 --> 01:04:01,260
No sports or entertainment

1517
01:04:01,740 --> 01:04:03,179
Or swinging bars

1518
01:04:03,180 --> 01:04:05,100
You stand around

1519
01:04:05,581 --> 01:04:07,020
You stand some more

1520
01:04:07,021 --> 01:04:10,861
On a planet named
for a roman god of war

1521
01:04:11,342 --> 01:04:14,702
Nothing ever happens on mars

1522
01:04:15,182 --> 01:04:17,101
?
No supersonic airplanes?

1523
01:04:17,102 --> 01:04:19,022
No sporty cars

1524
01:04:19,023 --> 01:04:20,942
The sun comes up

1525
01:04:20,943 --> 01:04:22,382
The sun goes down

1526
01:04:22,383 --> 01:04:24,302
You can't go to the country

1527
01:04:24,303 --> 01:04:26,703
You can't go to town

1528
01:04:26,704 --> 01:04:28,143
Boring, boring

1529
01:04:28,624 --> 01:04:30,543
Boring, boring

1530
01:04:30,544 --> 01:04:32,944
Boring, boring

1531
01:04:33,424 --> 01:04:35,345
Boring

1532
01:04:42,825 --> 01:04:44,745
Well, the town of blaine

1533
01:04:44,746 --> 01:04:46,666
has packed a lot
in the last 150 years.

1534
01:04:47,146 --> 01:04:50,026
We've had our ups
and we've had our downs.

1535
01:04:50,027 --> 01:04:51,465
We've seen our past

1536
01:04:51,466 --> 01:04:53,866
and we look forward
to the future.

1537
01:04:53,867 --> 01:04:55,786
And when the challenges come,

1538
01:04:55,787 --> 01:04:58,186
we'll greet them
the way americans always do,

1539
01:04:58,187 --> 01:05:01,068
with grit,
determination, and pride.

1540
01:05:01,548 --> 01:05:04,907
Because that,
my friends, isamerica.

1541
01:05:04,908 --> 01:05:08,268
And nothir
says america more to me

1542
01:05:08,269 --> 01:05:10,669
than blaine!

1543
01:06:07,317 --> 01:06:09,237
Aah! Corky!

1544
01:06:09,238 --> 01:06:10,677
Corky!

1545
01:06:18,839 --> 01:06:21,078
Mmm! You're so brilliant!
You're brilliant!

1546
01:06:21,559 --> 01:06:23,478
Cliff, you're great.
Everyone is so great!

1547
01:06:23,479 --> 01:06:25,400
Ohh, dr. Pearl!

1548
01:06:25,879 --> 01:06:26,838
Corky, you did it!

1549
01:06:26,839 --> 01:06:28,279
Thank you! Mmm!

1550
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:31,160
I'm going to get mr. Guffman.
I'll be right backstage.

1551
01:06:34,520 --> 01:06:36,440
It was great.

1552
01:06:37,881 --> 01:06:39,320
Hello, how are you?

1553
01:06:39,321 --> 01:06:40,281
Hi.

1554
01:06:40,762 --> 01:06:41,722
It's nice to meet you.

1555
01:06:42,201 --> 01:06:43,160
And you, too.

1556
01:06:43,161 --> 01:06:44,601
Boffo socko, corky.

1557
01:06:44,602 --> 01:06:45,561
Thank you so much,
mr. Mayor.

1558
01:06:45,562 --> 01:06:46,521
Wait'll they hear about this

1559
01:06:46,522 --> 01:06:47,961
at the next mayor's conference.

1560
01:06:47,962 --> 01:06:48,921
Thank you so much.

1561
01:06:48,922 --> 01:06:50,841
I know we have
a lot of work to do,

1562
01:06:50,842 --> 01:06:51,803
the first act needs...

1563
01:06:52,283 --> 01:06:53,242
that was magic.

1564
01:06:53,243 --> 01:06:54,682
Thank you very much, steve.

1565
01:06:54,683 --> 01:06:56,123
God!
Thank you so much.

1566
01:06:56,124 --> 01:06:59,483
Which we've got... the first act,
it's just up and down.

1567
01:06:59,484 --> 01:07:01,403
Kind of dipping in and out,
and i know that,

1568
01:07:01,404 --> 01:07:03,323
just don't have the time
to do everything.

1569
01:07:03,324 --> 01:07:05,724
So, i'm gonna ask you
point-blank...

1570
01:07:05,725 --> 01:07:07,164
do we have a shot
to go to broadway?

1571
01:07:07,165 --> 01:07:08,605
Yes, i think so.

1572
01:07:09,085 --> 01:07:11,965
Ohh, mamma mia!
That is such good news.

1573
01:07:12,446 --> 01:07:14,845
Oh, i can't tell you
what news that is to me.

1574
01:07:14,846 --> 01:07:16,285
Would you like
to meet the cast?

1575
01:07:16,286 --> 01:07:17,246
I'd like that, yeah.

1576
01:07:17,726 --> 01:07:20,605
Oh, great.
Come on with me, you.

1577
01:07:20,606 --> 01:07:21,565
Ohh!

1578
01:07:21,566 --> 01:07:23,967
Mr. Pro!
Wonderful job.

1579
01:07:24,447 --> 01:07:25,887
You, too.
That blaine...

1580
01:07:25,887 --> 01:07:27,807
Everybody!

1581
01:07:27,808 --> 01:07:29,246
Ha ha ha!

1582
01:07:29,247 --> 01:07:30,688
Ohh!
Ohh!

1583
01:07:32,128 --> 01:07:35,007
Yes!

1584
01:07:35,008 --> 01:07:36,449
Our cast.

1585
01:07:36,928 --> 01:07:39,328
Thank you.
You were just great.

1586
01:07:39,329 --> 01:07:40,289
Oh ho ho!

1587
01:07:42,210 --> 01:07:44,609
Well, i'd like... please,
introduce yourselves.

1588
01:07:45,090 --> 01:07:47,489
Sheila... sheila albertson.

1589
01:07:47,490 --> 01:07:48,930
I was?
You were great.

1590
01:07:48,930 --> 01:07:50,850
Mrs. Ron albertson.
I'm ron albertson.

1591
01:07:50,851 --> 01:07:52,770
It's a pleasure to
perform for someone...

1592
01:07:52,771 --> 01:07:54,211
this came a couple hours ago.

1593
01:07:54,691 --> 01:07:55,651
I'm sorry i'm just now
getting it to you.

1594
01:07:56,131 --> 01:07:57,090
Oh, thank you, sweetie.

1595
01:07:57,091 --> 01:07:58,531
Clifford wooley.

1596
01:07:58,532 --> 01:07:59,491
Mr. Wooley.

1597
01:07:59,492 --> 01:08:00,451
Nice to meet you.

1598
01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:01,411
Allan pearl.

1599
01:08:01,412 --> 01:08:02,851
You... you make me laugh.

1600
01:08:02,852 --> 01:08:05,731
Oh, it's a delight
to meet you, sir.

1601
01:08:05,732 --> 01:08:08,612
Well, i'm sure that
mr. Guffman would like

1602
01:08:08,613 --> 01:08:11,012
to say a few words to us.

1603
01:08:11,013 --> 01:08:12,452
Hear, hear!

1604
01:08:12,453 --> 01:08:14,853
Speech, speech, speech!

1605
01:08:14,854 --> 01:08:16,773
I think there's some mistake.

1606
01:08:16,774 --> 01:08:18,213
My name is loomis.
Roy loomis.

1607
01:08:18,214 --> 01:08:19,655
I'm down from deming.

1608
01:08:20,134 --> 01:08:21,574
I came down, my niece
had her first baby.

1609
01:08:21,575 --> 01:08:23,014
Yeah, it's a boy.

1610
01:08:23,014 --> 01:08:25,414
That's what the balloon is for.

1611
01:08:25,415 --> 01:08:27,814
I just wanted to tell you

1612
01:08:27,815 --> 01:08:30,215
how just absolutely
wonderful you all were.

1613
01:08:30,216 --> 01:08:34,535
And thank you. And
i'll be seeing you.

1614
01:08:34,536 --> 01:08:37,896
And bless you.
He's gonna love this.

1615
01:08:37,897 --> 01:08:38,857
Oh, boy.

1616
01:08:47,018 --> 01:08:50,379
Take our
makeup off. Ahem.

1617
01:09:08,140 --> 01:09:10,060
"Snowstorm in new york.

1618
01:09:10,061 --> 01:09:13,421
"All flights canceled.

1619
01:09:13,422 --> 01:09:16,302
Mort guffman."

1620
01:09:36,144 --> 01:09:39,984
I think the one really
important thing that i learned

1621
01:09:39,985 --> 01:09:44,305
uh, from my whole experience
in working with corky,

1622
01:09:44,306 --> 01:09:51,027
is that
i do indeed have talent.

1623
01:09:51,506 --> 01:09:53,906
And a couple of things,
actually.

1624
01:09:53,907 --> 01:09:59,186
"B"...i have to entertain.

1625
01:09:59,187 --> 01:10:00,628
I have to entertain.

1626
01:10:01,108 --> 01:10:04,948
And you have to go
where you are needed,

1627
01:10:05,429 --> 01:10:06,867
you have to go where
the crowds are,

1628
01:10:06,868 --> 01:10:13,109
and you have to go
where the love is.

1629
01:10:13,110 --> 01:10:15,989
And the love, for me, right now

1630
01:10:15,990 --> 01:10:17,909
is in miami.

1631
01:10:17,910 --> 01:10:19,349
Not blaine.

1632
01:10:19,350 --> 01:10:21,269
My bubbee made a kishke

1633
01:10:21,270 --> 01:10:23,189
She made it big and fat

1634
01:10:23,190 --> 01:10:24,630
My sadie took one look at it

1635
01:10:24,631 --> 01:10:26,070
And said,
"i can't eat that!"

1636
01:10:26,071 --> 01:10:27,990
Oh, mama, mama, mama

1637
01:10:27,991 --> 01:10:31,351
Oh, mama, me, oh, my

1638
01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:33,752
Well, here we are
in the land of dreams,

1639
01:10:34,232 --> 01:10:36,631
and don't let anybody tell you
dreams can't come true.

1640
01:10:36,632 --> 01:10:38,551
We're an hour from the snow,

1641
01:10:38,552 --> 01:10:40,472
we're 20 minutes
from the ocean,

1642
01:10:40,473 --> 01:10:42,392
2 hours from the mexico.

1643
01:10:42,393 --> 01:10:44,312
5 hours from vegas.

1644
01:10:44,313 --> 01:10:46,232
And we're gonna get there
one of these days.

1645
01:10:46,233 --> 01:10:47,193
Soon as we get a car.

1646
01:10:47,194 --> 01:10:50,073
We don't have a car yet. Who
wants to add to the pollution?

1647
01:10:50,074 --> 01:10:51,993
We consider ourselves
bl-coastal if you consider

1648
01:10:51,994 --> 01:10:55,355
the mississippi river
one of the coasts.

1649
01:10:55,835 --> 01:10:57,274
Wo Extras, let's go.
Over here.

1650
01:10:57,275 --> 01:10:59,195
All right. Time
to get back to work.

1651
01:10:59,196 --> 01:11:00,634
That's what they're
paying us for.

1652
01:11:00,635 --> 01:11:02,555
Can't they even refer
to us by name?

1653
01:11:02,556 --> 01:11:04,955
Why can't they say,
"ron, sheila,

1654
01:11:04,956 --> 01:11:05,916
we're this way, please"?

1655
01:11:06,396 --> 01:11:08,315
Still the same paycheck,
honey. How you doing?

1656
01:11:08,316 --> 01:11:09,275
All right.

1657
01:11:09,276 --> 01:11:10,716
You're doing a great
job, incidentally.

1658
01:11:10,717 --> 01:11:12,636
Face towards the camera
and smile.

1659
01:11:12,637 --> 01:11:14,076
Are you gonna smile?

1660
01:11:14,077 --> 01:11:15,996
I think we should have a line.

1661
01:11:15,997 --> 01:11:17,437
I gave him some suggestions.
He didn't want to hear...

1662
01:11:17,438 --> 01:11:19,357
we should be
line-dancing.

1663
01:11:19,358 --> 01:11:20,318
That's a great idea.

1664
01:11:20,798 --> 01:11:22,238
Quiet, please!

1665
01:11:22,239 --> 01:11:24,158
Get your finger up.
Keep smiling.

1666
01:11:24,159 --> 01:11:27,518
Quiet, please.

1667
01:11:27,519 --> 01:11:28,959
I was on my way to new york,

1668
01:11:28,960 --> 01:11:31,839
and then my dad
got out of prison.

1669
01:11:31,840 --> 01:11:34,719
Which is good.

1670
01:11:34,720 --> 01:11:36,370
He was supposed to be
in there for 10 years,

1671
01:11:36,641 --> 01:11:38,560
but i guess since
he didn't kill anybody,

1672
01:11:38,561 --> 01:11:42,880
he just... ruined
some property,

1673
01:11:42,881 --> 01:11:45,281
that they let him out after 5.

1674
01:11:45,282 --> 01:11:49,121
So, it's... i'm here
with my dad.

1675
01:11:49,122 --> 01:11:52,481
And, um...

1676
01:11:52,482 --> 01:11:54,401
i've been thinking
of ice cream and stuff

1677
01:11:54,402 --> 01:11:55,842
and what i could do with it.

1678
01:11:55,843 --> 01:11:59,683
Maybe... we have a blizzard
and we have a breeze.

1679
01:11:59,684 --> 01:12:01,603
We have derbies.

1680
01:12:01,604 --> 01:12:03,524
The derbies are really old.

1681
01:12:04,004 --> 01:12:06,403
They've been doing derbies...
the chocolate dip...

1682
01:12:06,404 --> 01:12:09,763
for, i think 20 years
or something.

1683
01:12:09,764 --> 01:12:13,604
I really want to sort of
make a healthy

1684
01:12:13,605 --> 01:12:17,925
low-fat or non-fat, um...

1685
01:12:17,926 --> 01:12:20,806
healthy...

1686
01:12:21,286 --> 01:12:22,246
blizzard.

1687
01:12:22,686 --> 01:12:24,647
The first thing i did

1688
01:12:25,126 --> 01:12:28,006
when i moved back
to new york city,

1689
01:12:28,007 --> 01:12:29,927
was to look up mr. Guffman.

1690
01:12:30,408 --> 01:12:32,806
And he was so sweet,

1691
01:12:32,807 --> 01:12:34,727
and i think he felt
a little guilty, too,

1692
01:12:34,728 --> 01:12:36,647
because he's
offered me the chance

1693
01:12:36,648 --> 01:12:39,048
to audition for
his new broadway show

1694
01:12:39,049 --> 01:12:41,928
which is a revival
ofmy fair lady.

1695
01:12:41,929 --> 01:12:43,848
It's one of my favorite
shows of all time.

1696
01:12:43,849 --> 01:12:47,689
And the role is
of 'enry 'iggins,

1697
01:12:47,690 --> 01:12:50,569
the somewhat-
stern-taskmaster-

1698
01:12:50,570 --> 01:12:53,450
but-he-really-likes-her-
anyway-kind-of-thing guy

1699
01:12:53,451 --> 01:12:56,330
who teaches eliza
to speak correctly.

1700
01:12:56,331 --> 01:12:59,211
And she of course is of
the cockney persuasion

1701
01:12:59,691 --> 01:13:01,131
and drops her hs.

1702
01:13:01,132 --> 01:13:02,571
And i've been
working on that at home,

1703
01:13:03,052 --> 01:13:05,931
the whole cockney thing of,
"'ello, 'ow are 'oo?"

1704
01:13:05,932 --> 01:13:07,852
"Do you want
to go to 'artford?"

1705
01:13:07,852 --> 01:13:11,211
"Not live in this 'ell'ole."
And that kind of thing.

1706
01:13:11,212 --> 01:13:13,612
I think i'm honing in on it
pretty close now.

1707
01:13:13,613 --> 01:13:17,453
And i suppose that
the cake-and-eat-it-too part

1708
01:13:17,454 --> 01:13:18,892
of this whole story

1709
01:13:18,893 --> 01:13:21,293
is that another dream
of mine has come true,

1710
01:13:21,294 --> 01:13:23,693
which is that i've gotten
to open this shop...

1711
01:13:23,694 --> 01:13:27,054
where i have all
my show business treasures

1712
01:13:27,055 --> 01:13:28,974
and all my memorabilia.

1713
01:13:28,975 --> 01:13:32,334
This is without a doubt,
one of my favorite items.

1714
01:13:32,335 --> 01:13:36,655
Um, my dinner with andre
action figures,

1715
01:13:36,656 --> 01:13:39,055
and what you can do,
which is so cute,

1716
01:13:39,056 --> 01:13:42,416
is you can reenact
the whole scene.

1717
01:13:42,417 --> 01:13:46,257
You know, where the two guys
talk to each other

1718
01:13:46,258 --> 01:13:47,696
and say, you know...

1719
01:13:47,697 --> 01:13:50,577
"boy, i'm sure glad
you found a good restaurant.

1720
01:13:50,578 --> 01:13:52,497
"You know, it's so hard
these days to get in.

1721
01:13:52,498 --> 01:13:54,417
Who do you know?"

1722
01:13:54,418 --> 01:13:56,338
"Oh, i just called.

1723
01:13:56,339 --> 01:13:59,219
Made a call.
Spur of the moment."

1724
01:13:59,220 --> 01:14:02,580
"Ha ha! Oh, you, you can
always get a reservation."

1725
01:14:03,060 --> 01:14:05,940
You know.
That's not from the movie,

1726
01:14:05,941 --> 01:14:07,379
but you can make up
your own dialogue,

1727
01:14:07,380 --> 01:14:09,300
which is one of the great things
about action figures.

1728
01:14:09,301 --> 01:14:12,060
I'm trying to get...
it's very rare...

1729
01:14:12,061 --> 01:14:15,902
the one... the action figures
fordas boot,

1730
01:14:16,381 --> 01:14:19,742
'cause i love to do that
whole claustrophobic thing

1731
01:14:20,222 --> 01:14:22,621
inside the sub
where they're, you know,

1732
01:14:22,622 --> 01:14:25,021
"das kande,
das mushtenstein."

1733
01:14:25,022 --> 01:14:25,982
That whole german thing.

1734
01:14:26,463 --> 01:14:28,382
Can't speak german,
but it sounds like

1735
01:14:28,383 --> 01:14:30,782
sort of a bunch
of barnyard animals,

1736
01:14:30,783 --> 01:14:33,662
"muck, muck, muck,"
making that noise and sweatir.

1737
01:14:33,663 --> 01:14:37,983
Uh, over here,
these are my big heads,

1738
01:14:37,984 --> 01:14:40,864
i call 'em, starting
with anthony michael hall,

1739
01:14:40,865 --> 01:14:43,264
one of the brat packers.

1740
01:14:43,265 --> 01:14:45,664
In fact,
in the background there,

1741
01:14:45,665 --> 01:14:47,586
there's andrew mccan'thy.

1742
01:14:48,065 --> 01:14:51,905
Over here, some new lunchboxes
we've gotten in,

1743
01:14:51,906 --> 01:14:53,825
the remains of the day
lunchbox,

1744
01:14:53,826 --> 01:14:55,745
and the kids,
they're just having

1745
01:14:55,746 --> 01:14:57,666
such a good time
with these, you know.

1746
01:14:57,667 --> 01:15:00,066
Kids don't like
eating lunch at school,

1747
01:15:00,067 --> 01:15:01,987
but if they're got
aremains of the daylunchbox,

1748
01:15:01,988 --> 01:15:03,427
they're a whole lot happier.

1749
01:16:02,956 --> 01:16:05,835
Captioning made possible by
warner bros.

1750
01:16:05,836 --> 01:16:08,717
Captioned by the national
captioning institute
- Www.ncicap.org...

1751
01:19:32,264 --> 01:19:35,143
There's not much pleasure

1752
01:19:35,144 --> 01:19:39,463
But not much pain

1753
01:19:39,464 --> 01:19:42,824
'cause nothir ever happens

1754
01:19:42,825 --> 01:19:47,625
Zero ever happens

1755
01:19:47,626 --> 01:19:51,466
Bupkiss ever happens

1756
01:19:51,946 --> 01:19:53,866
In...

1757
01:20:02,507 --> 01:20:02,987
Blaine