1
00:01:50,119 --> 00:01:52,280
So he wants to cut it off,
just like that?
2
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,920
He doesn't think
you can handle it.
3
00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,320
The arrangements
have been concluded.
4
00:02:00,799 --> 00:02:03,920
I gave them my word
because he gave me his word.
5
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,760
- So you tell me why.
- Hey, you know why.
6
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,920
You're not strong anymore.
7
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,960
You lost control.
8
00:02:18,481 --> 00:02:22,199
Now, you tell him this,
that nothing has changed.
9
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,561
We've had a few setbacks.
10
00:02:23,761 --> 00:02:26,120
That's to be expected
in any business.
11
00:02:26,121 --> 00:02:29,561
But I am still in charge,
and I am still strong.
12
00:02:30,641 --> 00:02:32,201
Make no mistake.
13
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,561
You tell him he had
better keep his word.
14
00:02:36,361 --> 00:02:38,561
Tell him the 25th, as agreed.
15
00:02:40,321 --> 00:02:43,961
I'll send him a sign,
a little demonstration,
16
00:02:45,041 --> 00:02:47,282
to prove that I'm still strong.
17
00:03:27,802 --> 00:03:30,122
- Good afternoon, Mr. Douvier.
- Good afternoon, Simone.
18
00:03:35,963 --> 00:03:37,883
- Any calls?
- On your desk.
19
00:03:47,763 --> 00:03:49,282
What's this, "Dr. Herb called"?
20
00:03:49,283 --> 00:03:52,162
That's your yearly checkup.
Tuesday at 4:30.
21
00:03:52,163 --> 00:03:53,244
Okay.
22
00:03:54,003 --> 00:03:57,002
- Is New York gonna call back?
- Mm-hmm. Between 5:00 and 6:00.
23
00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:58,083
Good.
24
00:03:59,083 --> 00:04:01,003
- Everybody else here?
- Yes, in the boardroom.
25
00:04:12,444 --> 00:04:15,124
Well, I don't think we should
keep them waiting any longer.
26
00:04:21,724 --> 00:04:24,044
- Will I see you tonight?
- Of course, Miss Legree.
27
00:04:37,884 --> 00:04:40,005
Gentlemen, we have a problem.
28
00:04:40,805 --> 00:04:42,844
The Gannet transaction
is in jeopardy
29
00:04:42,845 --> 00:04:44,163
because New York seems to feel
30
00:04:44,164 --> 00:04:47,565
I no longer have the power
to control the situation.
31
00:04:48,245 --> 00:04:50,884
So I have sent word
32
00:04:50,885 --> 00:04:54,765
that I will give them
a demonstration, a sign,
33
00:04:56,405 --> 00:04:58,845
to show that I
am still in control,
34
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,605
that France is still
a viable territory.
35
00:05:03,726 --> 00:05:06,285
What I want from you
are suggestions.
36
00:05:08,165 --> 00:05:11,605
- I have an idea.
- All right.
37
00:05:11,806 --> 00:05:14,526
Would you ask your secretary
to bring in the morning paper?
38
00:05:16,645 --> 00:05:18,926
Miss Legree, would you bring in
the morning paper, please?
39
00:05:18,966 --> 00:05:19,966
Right away, sir.
40
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:28,165
Who is the most important man
in France today?
41
00:05:28,166 --> 00:05:30,325
Present company excluded,
of course.
42
00:05:30,326 --> 00:05:33,205
Thank you, Miss Legree.
Well, the President, I suppose.
43
00:05:33,206 --> 00:05:35,045
No, for our purpose.
44
00:05:35,046 --> 00:05:37,046
A man that New York knows
even better
45
00:05:37,246 --> 00:05:38,806
than the President of France.
46
00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:42,885
A man with which our entire
world organization is familiar,
47
00:05:42,886 --> 00:05:45,567
and would like nothing better
than to see him out of the way.
48
00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:47,047
Who?
49
00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:54,766
Who has given us nothing but
trouble for the past 10 years?
50
00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:58,407
Who has survived
16 assassination attempts,
51
00:05:59,287 --> 00:06:01,527
including two by his own boss?
52
00:06:07,648 --> 00:06:08,648
Clouseau.
53
00:06:09,087 --> 00:06:10,967
You want to impress New York?
54
00:06:11,727 --> 00:06:13,046
Eliminate Clouseau.
55
00:06:13,047 --> 00:06:13,767
Eliminate Clouseau,
56
00:06:13,968 --> 00:06:16,206
and we'll have every cop in
France down on our necks.
57
00:06:16,207 --> 00:06:18,406
Not if we do it smart.
58
00:06:18,407 --> 00:06:22,246
There is a rumor that he is
really a complete imbecile.
59
00:06:22,247 --> 00:06:23,327
I've heard that.
60
00:06:23,487 --> 00:06:25,766
Yet he continues to survive.
61
00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:27,248
I have it on good authority
62
00:06:27,447 --> 00:06:29,568
that he is anything
but an imbecile.
63
00:06:29,767 --> 00:06:31,168
That he only plays the fool.
64
00:06:33,408 --> 00:06:36,128
In any case,
it is too dangerous.
65
00:06:41,408 --> 00:06:42,968
Can you do it smart?
66
00:06:44,008 --> 00:06:45,089
Yes.
67
00:06:46,408 --> 00:06:47,528
Then do it.
68
00:11:50,817 --> 00:11:51,977
Balls?
69
00:11:52,777 --> 00:11:56,456
Inspector Clouseau!
My dear Chief Inspector Clouseau!
70
00:11:56,457 --> 00:11:57,897
- Auguste.
- How we have missed you!
71
00:11:57,898 --> 00:11:59,697
How we have missed you!
72
00:11:59,698 --> 00:12:02,376
Your disguise is ready
for the final fitting.
73
00:12:02,377 --> 00:12:03,777
- Excellent.
- I think you'll be very pleased.
74
00:12:03,778 --> 00:12:06,377
Cunny! Cunny! Quick, quick!
Inspector Clouseau is here!
75
00:12:06,378 --> 00:12:08,897
I noticed you have
some very interesting new noses...
76
00:12:08,898 --> 00:12:10,696
I will model them for you,
of course.
77
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:12,457
Cunny, get on with it.
Get on with it!
78
00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:14,816
- I will bring you one right away.
- Yes.
79
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,456
There were some
on the left there.
80
00:12:16,457 --> 00:12:17,857
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Yes, yes.
81
00:12:17,858 --> 00:12:19,337
Ah, the final fitting.
82
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:22,938
I call this one Wino and Roses.
83
00:12:30,098 --> 00:12:32,577
- Magnificent.
- Yeah, yeah.
84
00:12:32,578 --> 00:12:35,899
Even though I say so myself,
this is no small feat.
85
00:12:36,658 --> 00:12:40,658
Now you can work the Left Bank
and Montmartre with anonymity.
86
00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:42,498
Yes, yes.
87
00:12:42,499 --> 00:12:45,179
The old anonymity ploy.
88
00:12:51,259 --> 00:12:55,218
That's it! That's it!
You can do it, Inspector!
89
00:12:55,219 --> 00:12:59,338
- Chief Inspector.
- You can walk, Chief Inspector!
90
00:12:59,339 --> 00:13:01,020
You can walk!
91
00:13:01,939 --> 00:13:05,699
Yes! Yes!
You are a genius, Balls!
92
00:13:06,259 --> 00:13:10,180
I can! I can walk!
93
00:13:14,499 --> 00:13:17,939
♪ Thank heavens ♪
94
00:13:17,939 --> 00:13:21,140
♪ For little girls ♪
95
00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:28,179
♪ They keep on getting
smaller every day ♪
96
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:31,539
♪ Thank heavens ♪
97
00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:35,260
♪ For little girls ♪
98
00:13:35,460 --> 00:13:38,260
♪ They grow down
in the most... ♪
99
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:42,220
Yes?
100
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,420
A special delivery.
101
00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:47,380
Thank you.
102
00:13:50,101 --> 00:13:52,460
I'm sorry. I'm a little short.
103
00:13:52,981 --> 00:13:54,100
Forget it.
104
00:14:03,701 --> 00:14:07,861
Special delivery. A beumb.
Were you expecting one?
105
00:14:08,741 --> 00:14:10,142
A beumb?
106
00:14:27,981 --> 00:14:28,981
Yes?
107
00:14:31,502 --> 00:14:32,542
What?
108
00:14:38,142 --> 00:14:40,382
- Right.
- What's the matter?
109
00:14:42,022 --> 00:14:45,902
Well, the bomb destroyed half the block,
and Clouseau survived.
110
00:14:46,542 --> 00:14:49,861
I am certain, sir,
that the beumb was intended for me.
111
00:14:49,862 --> 00:14:51,782
- "Beumb"?
- What?
112
00:14:51,782 --> 00:14:54,662
- You said "beumb".
- Yes, yes.
113
00:14:54,663 --> 00:14:57,741
Fortunately, Professor Balls
took refuge
114
00:14:57,742 --> 00:15:00,582
behind a new shipment
of inflatable goiters,
115
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,701
which cushioned the force
of the explosion.
116
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:06,983
- Inflatable goiters?
- Yes, his Valentine's Day collection.
117
00:15:09,262 --> 00:15:12,262
- It's amazing that you survived.
- Yes, yes.
118
00:15:12,263 --> 00:15:15,182
Yes, I must apprehend
this mad beumber
119
00:15:15,183 --> 00:15:17,902
before he does
any more of the damage in here.
120
00:15:17,903 --> 00:15:20,182
- Or she.
- Or she?
121
00:15:20,183 --> 00:15:22,144
A man dressed as a woman.
122
00:15:26,543 --> 00:15:29,263
"Four armed robberies
in three weeks.
123
00:15:29,264 --> 00:15:32,622
"Two of the victims were assaulted
and grappled with the robber.
124
00:15:32,623 --> 00:15:36,664
"Both the victims felt the robber
was much too strong to be a woman.
125
00:15:37,783 --> 00:15:41,423
"Three years ago, we sent to prison
a man named Claude Russo.
126
00:15:41,424 --> 00:15:44,503
"Russo committed robberies
disguised as a woman."
127
00:15:45,264 --> 00:15:46,863
Well, sir,
128
00:15:46,864 --> 00:15:51,264
I must be off to apprehend
this... this mad beumber now.
129
00:15:52,424 --> 00:15:55,383
Remember,
it just could be Russo.
130
00:15:55,384 --> 00:15:58,103
Yes. It just
could be Russo, yes.
131
00:15:58,104 --> 00:16:01,423
- Yes, I just said that.
- Yes, I know that. Yes, sir.
132
00:16:01,424 --> 00:16:05,305
Well, sir, until we meet again
and the case is solved.
133
00:16:08,465 --> 00:16:10,304
Au revoir, Hercule.
134
00:16:11,785 --> 00:16:13,025
Fire!
135
00:16:29,746 --> 00:16:31,745
You may not have seen
these gentlemen before,
136
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:34,425
but they have, at one time or another,
worked for you.
137
00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:38,585
And, needless to say, they are specialists,
the best in France.
138
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,345
And you expect them
to take care of Clouseau?
139
00:16:41,346 --> 00:16:42,745
Oh, no.
140
00:16:42,746 --> 00:16:45,105
They've been contracted
to eliminate Mr. Chong.
141
00:16:45,106 --> 00:16:46,746
Who the hell is Mr. Chong?
142
00:16:48,305 --> 00:16:49,306
Mr. Chong.
143
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:56,026
Mr. Chong was recommended
by Hong Kong.
144
00:17:03,586 --> 00:17:06,466
Gentlemen,
fulfill your contracts.
145
00:18:38,789 --> 00:18:41,148
Why don't you get out
of those wet clothes?
146
00:18:41,149 --> 00:18:42,228
You could catch pneumonia.
147
00:18:42,229 --> 00:18:45,669
Yes, I know that. I know that.
I will do as soon as I get home,
148
00:18:45,670 --> 00:18:48,588
provided that idiot Cato
does not attack me first.
149
00:18:48,589 --> 00:18:50,469
Why don't you just
tell him not to?
150
00:18:50,470 --> 00:18:52,909
Believe me, it's not that easy.
151
00:18:52,910 --> 00:18:56,828
I have given him instructions to attack me
wherever and whenever possible,
152
00:18:56,829 --> 00:19:01,429
and it has now become a matter of pride
with him to try to outsmart me.
153
00:19:01,430 --> 00:19:05,389
I guarantee that at this very minute
his fiendish, little yellow brain
154
00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:07,550
is plotting some new ambush.
155
00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:13,830
- Gesundheit.
- Yes, I know that. I know that.
156
00:20:09,832 --> 00:20:10,952
Cato?
157
00:20:15,952 --> 00:20:16,992
Cato?
158
00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,272
Cato!
159
00:20:33,912 --> 00:20:36,912
Pay attention!
This is your employer speaking!
160
00:20:37,953 --> 00:20:42,032
I am canceling the attack orders
for tonight!
161
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,673
Do you understand?
162
00:20:44,433 --> 00:20:49,032
I know that I told you
to show no mercy,
163
00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:53,073
and to attack, and to pay
no attention to what I say.
164
00:20:55,393 --> 00:20:56,833
But tonight...
165
00:21:01,034 --> 00:21:02,353
But tonight,
166
00:21:03,313 --> 00:21:06,833
I am ordering you
to pay attention!
167
00:21:10,553 --> 00:21:13,113
You will not attack, Cato!
168
00:21:21,394 --> 00:21:23,194
Shut up that row!
169
00:21:23,594 --> 00:21:26,034
I am trying to save my life,
madam!
170
00:21:33,675 --> 00:21:37,274
Obviously, the little yellow swine
is not paying attention.
171
00:22:14,796 --> 00:22:15,796
Ha!
172
00:23:21,517 --> 00:23:24,957
Aah!
173
00:23:28,598 --> 00:23:30,197
It's a very
substantial building.
174
00:23:30,198 --> 00:23:31,956
- We're doing a great deal to it.
- Yes.
175
00:23:31,957 --> 00:23:33,054
I'm sure when it's finished,
176
00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:35,517
you'll find it very peaceful
and quite delightful.
177
00:24:01,718 --> 00:24:02,838
Swine!
178
00:24:04,718 --> 00:24:07,558
- Chief Inspector Clouseau's residence.
- Clouseau?
179
00:24:07,759 --> 00:24:09,279
One moment, please.
180
00:24:09,879 --> 00:24:11,278
For you.
181
00:24:24,679 --> 00:24:27,038
What on Earth is going on?
182
00:24:27,039 --> 00:24:29,760
Excuse me, madame and messieurs.
183
00:24:29,919 --> 00:24:33,599
- I beg your pardon. I am so sorry.
- It's still for you, Inspector.
184
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,478
Chief Inspector.
185
00:24:35,479 --> 00:24:38,199
Pardon me.
I am needed on the phone.
186
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,239
Hello?
187
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,719
This is Chief Inspector Clouseau
speaking on the phone.
188
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,079
Now listen to me carefully,
Clouseau.
189
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:56,280
If you wanna catch the French Connection,
meet me tonight at 11:00
190
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,600
in the Bois de Boulogne,
near the Grande Cascade.
191
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:01,600
And come alone.
192
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,641
That's so obvious.
He's bound to think it's a trap.
193
00:25:14,601 --> 00:25:18,760
Yes, or it's so obvious that he's
bound to think it can't be a trap.
194
00:25:19,681 --> 00:25:22,039
It's so obvious.
It's bound to be a trap.
195
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,040
That is why you will never be
a great detective, Cato.
196
00:25:25,041 --> 00:25:28,280
It's so obvious.
It could not possibly be a trap.
197
00:25:28,281 --> 00:25:31,841
Now, Cato,
warm up the Silver Hornet.
198
00:25:56,321 --> 00:26:01,561
Cato, I very much suspect
that the Hornet is overdue for a service.
199
00:26:01,562 --> 00:26:04,602
So, if you don't mind,
I'll use your car tonight.
200
00:26:23,963 --> 00:26:27,283
He's driving a white Peugeot.
License number is...
201
00:26:47,163 --> 00:26:50,043
Oh, by any chance,
are you going to Fontainebleau?
202
00:26:50,044 --> 00:26:52,683
- Well, I...
- Wonderful!
203
00:26:55,004 --> 00:26:58,684
How lucky can a girl get?
You're an absolute darling.
204
00:27:02,084 --> 00:27:04,483
- It's green.
- It is?
205
00:27:05,244 --> 00:27:07,684
- The traffic light.
- Oh!
206
00:27:15,924 --> 00:27:19,163
You know, generally speaking,
it's dangerous
207
00:27:19,164 --> 00:27:22,523
for a beautiful girl like you
to be hitchhiking at night.
208
00:27:22,524 --> 00:27:23,804
I know.
209
00:27:23,805 --> 00:27:28,363
That's because, generally speaking,
beautiful girls like me don't carry guns.
210
00:27:28,364 --> 00:27:29,724
Yes, yes.
211
00:27:35,764 --> 00:27:39,445
Are you saying that
you carry a gun?
212
00:27:39,645 --> 00:27:40,645
Mm-hmm.
213
00:27:40,725 --> 00:27:44,523
I've got it in here somewhere.
It's, uh, it's not very big.
214
00:27:44,524 --> 00:27:48,845
- Hey, watch it. It might go off.
- Only if you don't do exactly what I say.
215
00:27:50,845 --> 00:27:52,284
Listen, Miss...
216
00:27:52,285 --> 00:27:54,324
- Russo.
- Russo?
217
00:27:54,325 --> 00:27:56,405
But you can call me Claude.
218
00:28:00,165 --> 00:28:03,204
- Claude?
- Pull off the road.
219
00:28:03,205 --> 00:28:06,845
The old
"pull off the road" ploy, huh?
220
00:28:06,846 --> 00:28:11,886
Yes, and then we will see how you do with
the old "take off all your clothes" ploy.
221
00:28:40,486 --> 00:28:43,645
And if you don't want to freeze to death,
you'd better put on the dress.
222
00:28:43,646 --> 00:28:46,005
- Never!
- Suit yourself.
223
00:28:46,006 --> 00:28:50,127
But the dress is an original Dior,
and you've got sensational legs.
224
00:29:29,888 --> 00:29:30,968
Yes?
225
00:29:34,688 --> 00:29:36,087
Good. Thank you.
226
00:29:36,088 --> 00:29:38,367
Why don't you just take that thing
off the hook?
227
00:29:38,368 --> 00:29:39,647
Won't be necessary, my dear.
228
00:29:39,648 --> 00:29:43,328
The great Inspector Clouseau
will not be bothering us anymore.
229
00:29:50,529 --> 00:29:51,968
Hello, boys!
230
00:29:53,129 --> 00:29:55,169
Am I glad to see you.
231
00:29:55,808 --> 00:29:58,848
And we are certainly glad
to see you.
232
00:29:58,849 --> 00:30:02,248
Hey, hey, hey!
Wait a moment! Wait a moment!
233
00:30:02,249 --> 00:30:04,808
You know me. I am
Chief Inspector Clouseau of the Sûreté!
234
00:30:04,809 --> 00:30:07,088
- And I am Officer Bardot.
- Bardot?
235
00:30:07,089 --> 00:30:09,128
But you can call me Brigitte.
236
00:30:09,129 --> 00:30:10,849
Brigitte!
Please don't, Brigitte.
237
00:30:10,850 --> 00:30:12,648
You are making
an understandable mistake.
238
00:30:12,649 --> 00:30:15,770
Don't let my legs fool you.
I'm really a man. Listen...
239
00:30:18,889 --> 00:30:22,370
The palace flag
is lowered to half-mast.
240
00:30:23,769 --> 00:30:27,170
The President has declared
a day of national mourning.
241
00:30:28,330 --> 00:30:30,368
Only a few hours ago,
242
00:30:30,369 --> 00:30:33,889
the great detective
stood in this very courtyard
243
00:30:33,890 --> 00:30:38,130
and was decorated by the President
for outstanding service to his country.
244
00:30:39,770 --> 00:30:42,009
According to the
coroner's report,
245
00:30:42,010 --> 00:30:45,410
Chief Inspector Clouseau
was probably dead
246
00:30:45,411 --> 00:30:50,170
before his car hit the telephone pole
and burst into flames.
247
00:30:54,410 --> 00:30:57,890
The President called me
at 6:00 this morning.
248
00:30:57,891 --> 00:31:01,570
A dozen countries have offered the
services of their finest detectives,
249
00:31:01,571 --> 00:31:03,969
but the President
made it painfully clear
250
00:31:03,970 --> 00:31:06,570
that this must be solved
by Frenchmen, and quickly,
251
00:31:06,731 --> 00:31:10,771
- or we can all hand in our resignations.
- I spoke with Dr. Laprone at the hospital,
252
00:31:10,971 --> 00:31:13,810
and he assures me
that Dreyfus is completely cured.
253
00:31:15,051 --> 00:31:16,730
It's amazing.
254
00:31:16,731 --> 00:31:19,170
I've seen some lunatics
in my time,
255
00:31:19,171 --> 00:31:21,611
but they were all pikers
compared with Dreyfus.
256
00:31:21,612 --> 00:31:22,890
He was like a wild animal!
257
00:31:22,891 --> 00:31:25,090
Didn't he actually bite you?
258
00:31:25,091 --> 00:31:27,931
Oh, yes. On the leg.
259
00:31:27,932 --> 00:31:30,610
I had to take rabies shots,
just in case.
260
00:31:30,611 --> 00:31:33,251
Well, the doctor swears
that his recovery is complete.
261
00:31:33,252 --> 00:31:37,851
He said that in the last 12 hours,
Dreyfus has literally become a new man.
262
00:31:38,012 --> 00:31:40,132
Well, thank God for that,
because we need him.
263
00:31:40,332 --> 00:31:43,811
If anyone knows about Clouseau
and who might have murdered him,
264
00:31:43,812 --> 00:31:47,012
that man is former
Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus.
265
00:31:47,932 --> 00:31:50,091
Isn't it fantastic, Doctor?
266
00:31:50,092 --> 00:31:54,651
Reinstated at my former rank,
with no loss of pay or social benefits.
267
00:31:54,652 --> 00:31:58,092
Yes, it could actually be called
a psychic rebirth.
268
00:31:58,093 --> 00:32:01,011
I'm in your debt.
I shall be eternally grateful.
269
00:32:01,012 --> 00:32:03,371
I only helped. I led the way.
270
00:32:03,372 --> 00:32:06,892
But in the final analysis,
it was your victory, Charles.
271
00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:08,213
Our victory, Paul.
272
00:32:09,132 --> 00:32:11,493
But only at the expense
of another.
273
00:32:11,692 --> 00:32:13,892
Huh? Oh. Clouseau, you mean.
274
00:32:14,093 --> 00:32:18,412
It could be said that he died
so that you might live.
275
00:32:18,613 --> 00:32:19,972
I wish I could feel sorry.
276
00:32:20,733 --> 00:32:22,733
- You feel no guilt?
- None.
277
00:32:23,933 --> 00:32:27,173
To be honest,
when I first heard he was dead,
278
00:32:27,173 --> 00:32:29,093
there were a few moments
279
00:32:29,094 --> 00:32:33,013
when I was actually convinced
I was in a state of grace.
280
00:32:34,133 --> 00:32:37,973
- Is that wrong?
- It isn't a matter of right or wrong.
281
00:32:37,974 --> 00:32:40,132
Look, I... I hated him.
282
00:32:40,133 --> 00:32:43,532
He literally drove me out
of my mind, as you know.
283
00:32:43,533 --> 00:32:47,173
Isn't it natural that I should
feel happiness, even joy,
284
00:32:47,174 --> 00:32:51,933
at the thought of him being dead,
out of the way and gone forever?
285
00:32:51,934 --> 00:32:53,373
Natural, yes.
286
00:32:53,374 --> 00:32:56,613
But there is a danger
that such feelings might promote guilt.
287
00:32:56,614 --> 00:32:59,453
Clouseau would come back
and haunt you.
288
00:32:59,454 --> 00:33:01,973
- I have no guilt.
- Not now.
289
00:33:01,974 --> 00:33:06,255
Not ever.
Clouseau is gone, and I am free forever.
290
00:33:06,935 --> 00:33:10,573
- Now, have a cigar.
- Thank you, Charles.
291
00:33:10,574 --> 00:33:12,934
Well, I've made all the necessary
arrangements for your release.
292
00:33:12,934 --> 00:33:16,053
The Sûreté is sending a car
for you to be picked up at 5:30.
293
00:33:16,054 --> 00:33:18,734
Remember, you're on probation
for 12 months.
294
00:33:18,735 --> 00:33:22,294
If you have any problems,
call on me immediately.
295
00:33:22,295 --> 00:33:23,935
Thank you, Paul.
296
00:33:29,695 --> 00:33:32,534
Listen to me, Officer,
you are making a most serious mistake.
297
00:33:32,535 --> 00:33:34,094
Unless you
release me immediately,
298
00:33:34,095 --> 00:33:37,294
I will personally see to it
you are transferred to Martinique
299
00:33:37,295 --> 00:33:39,175
where you will spend
the rest of your natural career
300
00:33:39,176 --> 00:33:41,974
writing traffic citations
and checking parking meters.
301
00:33:41,975 --> 00:33:45,855
The man who was killed in that car,
my car, Cato's car, was not me.
302
00:33:45,855 --> 00:33:48,654
He was wearing my clothes. Yes!
These are his clothes.
303
00:33:48,655 --> 00:33:50,696
I am Chief Inspector
Jacques Clouseau.
304
00:33:51,056 --> 00:33:53,855
- Miss or Mrs.?
- You fool!
305
00:33:53,856 --> 00:33:56,255
The President himself,
when he decorated me said,
306
00:33:56,256 --> 00:33:59,175
"Clouseau,
you are a man of courage,"
307
00:33:59,176 --> 00:34:01,895
and he called me the greatest
detective in all of France!
308
00:34:01,896 --> 00:34:04,775
You charlatan! Impostor!
309
00:34:04,776 --> 00:34:07,176
All right. Calm down,
Mr. Poirot.
310
00:34:07,736 --> 00:34:09,855
- Poirot?
- Yes.
311
00:34:09,856 --> 00:34:13,256
Yes, but you
can call me Hercule.
312
00:34:13,816 --> 00:34:16,896
And I am the greatest detective
in all of France,
313
00:34:16,897 --> 00:34:19,176
the greatest in all the world!
314
00:34:25,456 --> 00:34:29,655
- That man is obviously crazy.
- We do not use that word round here.
315
00:34:29,656 --> 00:34:31,936
What do you normally
use round here?
316
00:34:31,937 --> 00:34:32,736
Now, now.
317
00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:35,336
He is very "now, now",
I can tell you that.
318
00:34:35,337 --> 00:34:36,697
Court order.
319
00:34:37,497 --> 00:34:40,257
I shall need your signature
on the transfer document.
320
00:34:45,217 --> 00:34:48,176
Ninety days comprehensive...
321
00:34:48,177 --> 00:34:51,337
Thank you.
Psychiatric examination.
322
00:34:52,617 --> 00:34:53,697
Hey! Hey, p...
323
00:35:29,618 --> 00:35:30,698
Peekaboo?
324
00:35:32,739 --> 00:35:35,339
Your car's at the entrance,
Inspector.
325
00:35:37,458 --> 00:35:39,338
PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC
326
00:35:43,219 --> 00:35:45,579
Goodbye, Chief Inspector Dreyfus.
327
00:35:56,139 --> 00:36:00,140
- Good evening, Chief Inspector Dreyfus.
- Good evening, François.
328
00:36:04,940 --> 00:36:08,298
It's good to have you back on the job,
Chief Inspector.
329
00:36:08,299 --> 00:36:12,099
Is it true that you will personally
take charge of the Clouseau investigation?
330
00:36:12,100 --> 00:36:14,699
- Yes, yes.
- You must feel torn.
331
00:36:14,700 --> 00:36:16,579
On the one hand, it is your duty
332
00:36:16,580 --> 00:36:19,819
to send the guilty parties
to the guillotine for killing Clouseau.
333
00:36:19,820 --> 00:36:21,380
On the other hand,
334
00:36:22,980 --> 00:36:25,620
I am sure you'd rather
congratulate them, eh?
335
00:36:26,740 --> 00:36:29,299
Can you imagine?
A state funeral for that idiot?
336
00:36:29,300 --> 00:36:32,780
The President, dignitaries
from all over the world will be coming.
337
00:36:32,780 --> 00:36:36,139
Why, there's a rumor
the Pope might even show up.
338
00:36:36,140 --> 00:36:37,140
Pope?
339
00:36:39,381 --> 00:36:41,899
- "Poop"?
- What?
340
00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:43,461
You said, "poop".
341
00:36:43,861 --> 00:36:47,140
- Do you have a cold?
- Yes, yes. Yes, I have.
342
00:36:47,141 --> 00:36:50,460
I have the cold in the chest,
you know. Yes, yes, yes.
343
00:36:50,461 --> 00:36:53,580
You sound terrible.
Do you want me to send you a doctor?
344
00:36:53,581 --> 00:36:56,580
No, no, no, it's
much better than it sounds.
345
00:36:56,581 --> 00:37:00,180
Anyway, I want to go directly
to the Clouseau apartments
346
00:37:00,181 --> 00:37:02,900
to commence the search for the clues,
you know.
347
00:37:02,901 --> 00:37:04,221
Yes, sir.
348
00:37:30,342 --> 00:37:33,702
- Is this the Clouseau residence?
- Yes.
349
00:37:40,062 --> 00:37:45,422
This is also the residence
of the Clouseau manservant, Cato Fong?
350
00:37:46,102 --> 00:37:47,103
Yes.
351
00:37:48,343 --> 00:37:53,102
Then be so good as to tell him that I wish
to have speaks with him, would you?
352
00:37:53,983 --> 00:37:58,583
And who should I say
"wish to have speaks" with Mr. Fong?
353
00:37:59,863 --> 00:38:02,102
Tell him it is an old friend.
354
00:38:02,463 --> 00:38:04,742
Mr. Fong has many old friends.
355
00:38:04,743 --> 00:38:06,502
Listen, you,
356
00:38:06,503 --> 00:38:09,343
tell him it is Chief Inspector
357
00:38:11,303 --> 00:38:12,623
Clouseau.
358
00:38:12,903 --> 00:38:16,423
Why didn't you say so in the first place?
Please come in.
359
00:38:27,144 --> 00:38:28,543
Good evening,
360
00:38:28,544 --> 00:38:31,423
- and congratulations.
- What?
361
00:38:31,424 --> 00:38:33,423
You are our first Caucasian,
362
00:38:33,424 --> 00:38:37,103
and that entitles you to a 10% discount
until midnight.
363
00:38:37,104 --> 00:38:40,144
- Who are you?
- Mrs. Wu. But you can call me madam.
364
00:38:43,344 --> 00:38:46,263
- Yes?
- Inspector Clouseau.
365
00:38:46,264 --> 00:38:48,304
Please come in.
366
00:38:48,305 --> 00:38:50,383
- Madam.
- Welcome.
367
00:38:50,384 --> 00:38:54,185
- Good evening.
- Please, make yourself at home.
368
00:38:55,545 --> 00:38:58,184
That man just called himself
Inspector Clouseau.
369
00:38:58,185 --> 00:39:02,984
It was Mr. Fong's idea, but personally,
I think we should have a better password.
370
00:39:02,985 --> 00:39:04,264
Password?
371
00:39:11,665 --> 00:39:15,104
Madam, I demand to know
exactly what is going on in here.
372
00:39:15,105 --> 00:39:18,504
Well, just about anything
your little heart desires.
373
00:39:18,505 --> 00:39:21,184
But first, why don't you relax?
374
00:39:21,185 --> 00:39:26,624
Give Benson your hat and your coat,
have a drink, get to know the girls,
375
00:39:26,625 --> 00:39:28,465
and then, when you are up to it,
376
00:39:28,466 --> 00:39:33,025
you can choose from a wide variety
of exciting little diversions.
377
00:39:36,225 --> 00:39:39,186
But I see that you
already have a preference.
378
00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:52,906
Allow me to introduce Tanya,
the Lotus Eater.
379
00:39:54,626 --> 00:39:56,306
What else does she do?
380
00:40:02,507 --> 00:40:05,746
I warn you, Tanya,
the Easter Lotus,
381
00:40:05,746 --> 00:40:08,907
I am opposed
to the women's libs.
382
00:40:09,826 --> 00:40:14,066
Man is the master,
and women's place is in the home.
383
00:40:16,147 --> 00:40:19,307
And another round-eye
bites the dust.
384
00:40:30,667 --> 00:40:32,347
Cato!
385
00:40:32,547 --> 00:40:34,067
Cato!
386
00:40:40,547 --> 00:40:44,587
Take your hands off me, you Oriental fool!
You are under arrest!
387
00:40:44,588 --> 00:40:46,826
Anything you say will be taken down
and used in evidence against you.
388
00:40:46,827 --> 00:40:47,987
Arrest?
389
00:40:47,988 --> 00:40:51,427
You have the right to remain silent,
but let me tell you this,
390
00:40:51,428 --> 00:40:54,547
I am not your ordinary,
run-of-the-mill transvestite.
391
00:40:54,548 --> 00:40:55,787
- Say no more!
- What?
392
00:40:55,788 --> 00:40:57,947
- What was that talk about arresting us?
- Yes.
393
00:40:57,948 --> 00:41:00,427
- He was just kidding, weren't you, boss?
- Boss?
394
00:41:00,428 --> 00:41:02,708
I used to work for him.
He used to be a cop.
395
00:41:02,708 --> 00:41:04,027
A cop?
396
00:41:04,028 --> 00:41:06,269
Tell them
you were kidding, boss.
397
00:41:07,668 --> 00:41:10,187
Yes, he is right.
398
00:41:10,188 --> 00:41:12,108
I was just kidding.
399
00:41:13,148 --> 00:41:17,069
Cross my heart and hope to
meet you again sometime.
400
00:41:17,988 --> 00:41:21,469
And you, madam. And you, too.
401
00:41:22,228 --> 00:41:24,547
You two should be
ashamed of yourselves.
402
00:41:24,548 --> 00:41:27,908
And you!
I want to talk to you, Cato!
403
00:41:27,909 --> 00:41:30,548
Here. Come in here. Listen now!
404
00:41:30,549 --> 00:41:33,228
Please, boss!
I thought you were dead!
405
00:41:33,229 --> 00:41:36,269
So, as a tribute to my memory,
you open up this...
406
00:41:37,509 --> 00:41:39,309
This Chinese nookie factory!
407
00:41:39,829 --> 00:41:42,108
I had to do something
to keep busy.
408
00:41:42,109 --> 00:41:43,989
Besides,
a first-rate joint like this
409
00:41:43,990 --> 00:41:46,509
can make as much
as 300,000, 400,000 a year!
410
00:41:49,669 --> 00:41:51,909
- Is that net?
- No, gross.
411
00:41:51,910 --> 00:41:55,589
But even so, a smart operator can clear
himself a couple of hundred grand,
412
00:41:55,590 --> 00:41:58,510
- and that ain't exactly chicken feed.
- No.
413
00:41:59,070 --> 00:42:02,710
No, and 10 years
on Devil's Island
414
00:42:02,910 --> 00:42:06,629
ain't exactly the chicken's feet either,
my greedy, little yellow pimp.
415
00:42:06,790 --> 00:42:07,790
Ow!
416
00:42:07,870 --> 00:42:11,469
Well, I'll have to close up anyway,
now that you're alive.
417
00:42:11,470 --> 00:42:12,869
Yes. Yes.
418
00:42:12,870 --> 00:42:16,351
Normally, that is precisely
what you would have to do.
419
00:42:17,510 --> 00:42:20,031
But these are not
normal times, Cato.
420
00:42:21,110 --> 00:42:24,070
- Someone has just tried to kill me.
- That's normal.
421
00:42:24,271 --> 00:42:27,711
Ah! But this time that someone
thinks he has succeeded.
422
00:42:27,910 --> 00:42:32,309
Except for you and me,
the whole world believes that I am dead.
423
00:42:32,310 --> 00:42:35,990
And in this case,
death has its advantages.
424
00:42:38,711 --> 00:42:41,991
No one will know it is me
as I glide
425
00:42:43,311 --> 00:42:45,191
through the underworld
like a shadow.
426
00:42:48,151 --> 00:42:50,991
- Good evening, Commissioner.
- Charles!
427
00:42:52,272 --> 00:42:53,311
I, uh...
428
00:42:55,231 --> 00:42:56,470
Thank you.
429
00:42:56,471 --> 00:43:00,390
I'm sorry to be late,
but as you must have heard,
430
00:43:00,391 --> 00:43:04,311
- some lunatic was hiding in my closet.
- Yes. Russo.
431
00:43:04,312 --> 00:43:06,191
Russo?
432
00:43:06,191 --> 00:43:07,432
Russo.
433
00:43:07,632 --> 00:43:08,712
Ah!
434
00:43:08,911 --> 00:43:10,791
Ah, you remember?
435
00:43:10,792 --> 00:43:13,471
Why wouldn't I remember?
It was only three years ago.
436
00:43:13,472 --> 00:43:16,471
Of course. Claude Russo.
437
00:43:16,472 --> 00:43:20,351
Alias Claudine Russo.
Armed robbery, dressed as a woman.
438
00:43:20,352 --> 00:43:22,071
But he got five years.
439
00:43:22,072 --> 00:43:25,351
He was released on parole
three months ago.
440
00:43:25,352 --> 00:43:27,631
Ah, so it could have been Russo.
441
00:43:27,632 --> 00:43:28,952
He's clever.
442
00:43:29,873 --> 00:43:32,072
Clever enough to fool François?
443
00:43:33,352 --> 00:43:35,032
I like François,
444
00:43:35,033 --> 00:43:37,752
but fooling him
no longer constitutes an act
445
00:43:37,752 --> 00:43:41,073
of more than average cleverness,
shall we say?
446
00:43:44,712 --> 00:43:47,872
I always thought
he was rather a good policeman.
447
00:43:47,873 --> 00:43:52,712
When he was my assistant, he was a very
good policeman with a bright future.
448
00:43:52,713 --> 00:43:56,113
- But then he was assigned to Clouseau.
- Oh, now, now, now, Charles.
449
00:43:56,393 --> 00:43:59,033
- All that's in the past.
- Yes, of course.
450
00:44:00,034 --> 00:44:03,752
Tomorrow morning,
when they plant him six feet deep
451
00:44:03,753 --> 00:44:06,193
and shovel in the dirt,
452
00:44:06,194 --> 00:44:07,994
I shall be truly free.
453
00:44:08,753 --> 00:44:11,873
Unless he's figured out a way
to come back from the dead,
454
00:44:12,953 --> 00:44:14,913
nothing that anyone does
or says about him
455
00:44:14,914 --> 00:44:17,433
will ever make
any difference again.
456
00:44:17,434 --> 00:44:20,474
- Shall we do some work?
- Well, that reminds me.
457
00:44:22,754 --> 00:44:23,953
What is it?
458
00:44:23,954 --> 00:44:27,513
The Chief thinks
that you should give the eulogy.
459
00:44:27,514 --> 00:44:29,594
- The what?
- The tribute.
460
00:44:29,994 --> 00:44:32,433
- Me?
- You knew him intimately.
461
00:44:32,434 --> 00:44:34,553
I hated him intimately.
462
00:44:34,554 --> 00:44:38,274
But you're the expert
who is going to track down his murderers.
463
00:44:38,275 --> 00:44:40,794
I'm the expert who would love
to... to kiss his murderers!
464
00:44:40,994 --> 00:44:41,954
Don't you understand?
465
00:44:41,954 --> 00:44:44,794
Now, now, the PR people
loved the angle.
466
00:44:45,955 --> 00:44:48,874
- It's sacrilege! I won't do it.
- Politics.
467
00:44:49,795 --> 00:44:52,114
No, I'm a good Catholic.
468
00:44:52,115 --> 00:44:54,594
- So is the Chief's wife.
- I don't care.
469
00:44:54,595 --> 00:44:57,154
What's she got to do with it?
470
00:44:57,155 --> 00:44:58,915
She wrote the speech.
471
00:45:00,275 --> 00:45:02,195
Ladies and gentlemen,
472
00:45:03,275 --> 00:45:05,635
honored guests,
473
00:45:05,835 --> 00:45:07,075
dear friends.
474
00:45:08,715 --> 00:45:11,076
"We are gathered here to say
475
00:45:12,316 --> 00:45:14,636
"goodbye to a, uh...
476
00:45:17,516 --> 00:45:18,955
"a great man.
477
00:45:24,716 --> 00:45:28,635
"Not only was he
a model police officer,
478
00:45:28,636 --> 00:45:30,476
"a brilliant detective,
479
00:45:33,196 --> 00:45:36,796
"admired and respected
by his fellow officers
480
00:45:37,756 --> 00:45:41,397
"and all those
who were fortunate enough...
481
00:45:42,477 --> 00:45:43,717
"...enough...
482
00:45:44,636 --> 00:45:46,317
"enough to know him,
483
00:45:47,916 --> 00:45:49,636
"he was, above all else,
484
00:45:52,236 --> 00:45:53,636
"a modest man."
485
00:46:10,477 --> 00:46:13,677
"His kind will not pass
this way again,
486
00:46:14,837 --> 00:46:17,038
"and our loss is surely
487
00:46:18,958 --> 00:46:20,637
"heaven's gain."
488
00:46:31,637 --> 00:46:33,438
Present arms!
489
00:46:34,598 --> 00:46:35,598
Fire!
490
00:46:42,758 --> 00:46:43,838
Fire!
491
00:46:48,238 --> 00:46:49,598
Fire!
492
00:46:51,238 --> 00:46:53,957
- Get rid of that woman.
- We'll talk about it later.
493
00:46:53,958 --> 00:46:57,037
I want your answer now,
or I sue for divorce.
494
00:46:57,038 --> 00:46:58,517
I'm warning you, Therese.
495
00:46:58,518 --> 00:47:00,239
What are you going to do?
Have me killed?
496
00:47:29,839 --> 00:47:31,119
Gentlemen.
497
00:47:32,959 --> 00:47:35,599
You will be relieved to know
that our friend in New York
498
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,999
was very impressed
by our little demonstration.
499
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:40,919
It was a good idea, Guy.
500
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:43,359
The Gannet transaction is on again.
501
00:47:43,359 --> 00:47:44,759
The same delivery date?
502
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:46,679
Unless something is happening
I don't know about.
503
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,560
I spoke to Hong Kong.
They say the Gannet's right on schedule.
504
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:54,079
Good. That means, gentlemen,
that this time next week,
505
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:57,119
we can declare ourselves
a very healthy dividend,
506
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,039
letting our international colleagues know
507
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,961
that the French Connection
is back in business.
508
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,519
In the meantime, I'll be out at the farm,
509
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:08,559
and I do not want to be contacted
except in extreme emergency.
510
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,120
Meeting adjourned.
511
00:48:17,161 --> 00:48:18,241
Guy?
512
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,321
- Stick around, will you? I might need you.
- Right.
513
00:48:24,801 --> 00:48:28,001
Miss Legree, would you come in here
for a moment, please?
514
00:48:40,202 --> 00:48:41,602
Well, now, what's wrong with you?
515
00:48:43,041 --> 00:48:44,482
We have to stop seeing each other.
516
00:48:45,122 --> 00:48:46,681
Your wife?
517
00:48:46,682 --> 00:48:47,680
Mhmm.
518
00:48:47,681 --> 00:48:50,882
That witch. Okay, how long this time?
519
00:48:51,602 --> 00:48:54,082
- I'm afraid this time permanently.
- Permanently?
520
00:48:56,322 --> 00:48:58,241
- Permanently?
- Yes.
521
00:48:58,242 --> 00:48:59,801
- Permanently?
- Well, look, she gave me an ultimatum.
522
00:48:59,802 --> 00:49:01,041
- What could I do?
- An ultimatum! What do you mean?
523
00:49:01,042 --> 00:49:02,761
You're sitting like you don't have
any choice in this matter.
524
00:49:02,762 --> 00:49:04,281
- Well, I haven't.
- Well, you have, too! Get rid of her!
525
00:49:04,282 --> 00:49:05,721
- Get rid of her? My own wife?
- Yes! Get rid of her!
526
00:49:05,722 --> 00:49:07,242
- Your own wife! Get rid of her! Out!
- I can't...
527
00:49:07,243 --> 00:49:08,762
- Why can't you do that?
- Well, she's got enough evidence
528
00:49:08,763 --> 00:49:10,122
in her safety deposit box to ruin me
529
00:49:10,123 --> 00:49:12,121
and her attorney has been told that if
anything accidental happens to her,
530
00:49:12,122 --> 00:49:13,921
to take the contents in the box
and give to the authorities!
531
00:49:13,922 --> 00:49:15,202
Well, then, get rid of the authorities!
532
00:49:15,203 --> 00:49:16,641
- Get rid of the authorities?
- Yes! Get rid of the authorities.
533
00:49:16,642 --> 00:49:18,121
- What do you think I am?
- Well, then, get rid of her attorney!
534
00:49:18,122 --> 00:49:19,881
- Get rid of her attorney?
- Get rid of her attorney!
535
00:49:19,882 --> 00:49:22,081
- I couldn't afford the scandal.
- A scandal? I'll show you a scandal.
536
00:49:22,082 --> 00:49:23,802
- Oh, no! Just a minute!
- I'll show you a scandal!
537
00:49:23,803 --> 00:49:25,482
It's not that I love her.
You know that I don't love her.
538
00:49:25,483 --> 00:49:28,282
I just... I need her respectability.
539
00:49:28,283 --> 00:49:30,282
- Permanently?
- Yes.
540
00:49:30,283 --> 00:49:34,042
You mean, six years together just like
that? Just washed up, just over with?
541
00:49:34,043 --> 00:49:37,042
- I'm afraid so. I'm sorry.
- Well, that's just wonderful, isn't it?
542
00:49:37,043 --> 00:49:38,402
- That's just...
- And you obviously
543
00:49:38,403 --> 00:49:41,002
- can't go on being my secretary now.
- Obviously.
544
00:49:41,003 --> 00:49:43,843
But I have deposited a substantial amount
of money in your bank account...
545
00:49:43,843 --> 00:49:45,460
Use it, then, Philippe.
I don't want your money!
546
00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:47,643
- Well, what do you want?
- I don't know what I want.
547
00:49:50,203 --> 00:49:52,084
But I'll think of something!
548
00:50:06,004 --> 00:50:09,604
- Leaving early, Miss Legree?
- Later than you think, Mr. Algo.
549
00:50:18,164 --> 00:50:19,444
Something you want me to do?
550
00:50:21,965 --> 00:50:24,683
Not unless she decides to be indiscreet.
551
00:50:24,684 --> 00:50:27,284
If you have to, just be sure
you make it look like an accident.
552
00:50:34,405 --> 00:50:36,283
Ahoy!
553
00:50:36,284 --> 00:50:38,285
Lower the kipper!
554
00:50:40,005 --> 00:50:42,365
Hello out there, in the fog!
555
00:50:54,125 --> 00:50:55,884
Don't worry, here, though.
556
00:50:55,885 --> 00:50:59,685
It's only an old, salty
Swedish sea dog out there
557
00:50:59,686 --> 00:51:01,925
from the salty seas, you know.
558
00:51:04,886 --> 00:51:07,005
Pumping the air in the parrot.
559
00:51:10,285 --> 00:51:12,566
Naughty bird afraid of the fog.
560
00:51:22,526 --> 00:51:23,847
Swine leg!
561
00:51:31,286 --> 00:51:32,447
Hello, Inspector.
562
00:51:33,486 --> 00:51:35,087
Chief Inspector.
563
00:51:37,446 --> 00:51:41,607
I'm working under the covers, you know.
No one must suspect a thing.
564
00:51:49,487 --> 00:51:54,447
What do you have of special interest
to my secret investigations?
565
00:51:55,687 --> 00:51:58,607
There's something big going down
at Le Club Foot.
566
00:51:59,247 --> 00:52:02,046
Le Club Foot? Remarkable.
567
00:52:02,047 --> 00:52:03,488
Keep your...
568
00:52:06,807 --> 00:52:11,007
Keep your eyes and ears peeled
and keep in constant contact.
569
00:52:11,008 --> 00:52:14,887
I am extremely grateful
for this excellent piece of information.
570
00:52:16,728 --> 00:52:19,248
There she blows!
571
00:52:20,728 --> 00:52:24,607
Once again, I thank you
for this most useful tip,
572
00:52:24,608 --> 00:52:27,648
and if there is anything
I can ever do to repay you...
573
00:52:28,488 --> 00:52:31,168
Now that you mention it, Chief Inspector.
574
00:52:35,088 --> 00:52:37,527
You mean the line in the hand?
575
00:52:37,528 --> 00:52:40,608
All the dark strangers
coming in the village...
576
00:52:54,489 --> 00:52:57,688
Sixteen chests on the dead man's rum
577
00:52:57,689 --> 00:53:00,728
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of the chest
578
00:53:00,729 --> 00:53:03,849
Drink to the devils and down for the rums
579
00:53:09,609 --> 00:53:11,209
Give me some more.
580
00:53:11,209 --> 00:53:13,010
Yeah, give me some more.
581
00:53:13,169 --> 00:53:16,170
All right.
582
00:53:16,369 --> 00:53:17,848
Woo!
583
00:53:17,849 --> 00:53:18,889
Come on!
584
00:53:18,890 --> 00:53:20,530
Yeah! It's started!
585
00:53:27,049 --> 00:53:31,290
♪ If you mess around with woman, boy, your
wallet takes a trimming. Move em out. ♪
586
00:53:31,890 --> 00:53:33,889
♪ Move em out. ♪
587
00:53:33,890 --> 00:53:35,730
♪ Better listen to me ♪
588
00:53:35,970 --> 00:53:37,650
She's coming in now.
589
00:53:37,850 --> 00:53:39,730
♪ Move em out ♪
590
00:53:40,850 --> 00:53:42,090
♪ Move em out ♪
591
00:53:42,091 --> 00:53:44,649
- Bonsoir, Vic.
- How you doing, Simone?
592
00:53:44,650 --> 00:53:46,769
Mr. Toledo, Mr. Vancouver.
593
00:53:46,770 --> 00:53:48,490
- Hello.
- What's happening?
594
00:53:50,051 --> 00:53:52,050
Vic, you can show us to my usual table.
595
00:53:52,050 --> 00:53:54,130
How about something nearer the floor?
Easier for dancing.
596
00:53:54,131 --> 00:53:57,291
No, thank you. No, thanks.
I want my usual table.
597
00:54:03,211 --> 00:54:04,570
Is something wrong?
598
00:54:04,571 --> 00:54:07,050
Well, I mean, it is Mr. Douvier's table,
now, ain't it, love?
599
00:54:07,051 --> 00:54:08,810
Well, no, it really ain't, love.
600
00:54:08,811 --> 00:54:10,530
But, I mean,
if you're worried about Mr. Douvier,
601
00:54:10,531 --> 00:54:11,930
why don't you go give him a call?
602
00:54:11,931 --> 00:54:14,370
I mean, I wouldn't want you
to get in trouble with your boss.
603
00:54:14,371 --> 00:54:15,850
- He ain't my boss.
- He ain't?
604
00:54:15,851 --> 00:54:17,930
Well, then why you paying him
all that money every month?
605
00:54:17,931 --> 00:54:19,450
Now, that ain't cool, baby.
606
00:54:19,451 --> 00:54:21,572
You ain't seen nothing yet. Come on, love.
607
00:54:23,171 --> 00:54:27,690
♪ You better listen to me
Move em out. ♪
608
00:54:27,691 --> 00:54:31,011
♪ Move em out,
Move em out. ♪
609
00:54:31,012 --> 00:54:33,491
- Where are we going?
- We don't want to be obvious.
610
00:54:33,492 --> 00:54:36,410
We're going to make our entrance
through the back way in disguise,
611
00:54:36,411 --> 00:54:38,292
as I told you, you fool.
612
00:55:39,093 --> 00:55:41,494
Get up here. Get up here!
613
00:55:42,933 --> 00:55:46,253
- It's a bakery.
- I know that. I know that.
614
00:55:46,254 --> 00:55:49,094
Come on.
At least you're not yellow anymore.
615
00:55:50,054 --> 00:55:52,493
Now, this time I'm going to stand
on your shoulders.
616
00:55:52,494 --> 00:55:54,533
What good would that do?
617
00:55:54,534 --> 00:55:57,173
Because I'm taller than you are, you fool.
618
00:55:57,174 --> 00:55:59,254
- Oh, yeah.
- Make a cradle.
619
00:56:03,574 --> 00:56:05,174
Get rid of that.
620
00:56:46,735 --> 00:56:48,616
I can't reach it.
621
00:56:49,296 --> 00:56:51,416
You'll have to find something to stand on.
622
00:57:06,936 --> 00:57:07,976
Yes!
623
00:57:08,936 --> 00:57:12,095
All right! Let me see you, baby! Come on!
624
00:57:12,096 --> 00:57:13,536
Groovy, baby!
625
00:57:20,417 --> 00:57:21,535
No! Ow!
626
00:57:21,536 --> 00:57:22,776
Wait! Let me go!
627
00:57:25,097 --> 00:57:27,137
- Can you reach it?
- Yes.
628
00:57:30,297 --> 00:57:31,416
Merde.
629
00:57:43,897 --> 00:57:45,017
- Hey!
- Yeah?
630
00:57:45,177 --> 00:57:46,416
- Are you okay?
- No!
631
00:57:46,417 --> 00:57:48,856
- Hey, you know something? You're terrific.
- What?
632
00:57:48,857 --> 00:57:51,377
You're terrific! You saved my life!
633
00:57:51,377 --> 00:57:52,897
- Come on with me now.
- Where?
634
00:57:52,898 --> 00:57:54,417
Well, over here. I wanna save your life.
635
00:57:54,418 --> 00:57:56,618
- Let's go. Come on.
- Oh, God.
636
00:58:10,698 --> 00:58:12,657
Listen, you better come with me
before the killers see us.
637
00:58:12,658 --> 00:58:13,897
- What killers?
- The killers.
638
00:58:13,898 --> 00:58:15,177
I'll tell you when we get to my apartment.
639
00:58:15,178 --> 00:58:16,659
- What apartment?
- My apartment.
640
00:58:36,219 --> 00:58:37,858
My God!
641
00:58:37,859 --> 00:58:39,658
Mine, too.
642
00:58:39,659 --> 00:58:41,458
I'm soaked to the skin.
643
00:58:41,459 --> 00:58:45,979
Yes. Yes, I have received
considerable soak also.
644
00:58:50,459 --> 00:58:52,459
Listen, you'd better
get out of those wet clothes
645
00:58:52,460 --> 00:58:55,098
- before you catch your death of pneumonia.
- Yes.
646
00:58:55,099 --> 00:58:57,978
What shall I do with my coat?
I don't want to spoil your beautiful...
647
00:58:57,979 --> 00:59:01,298
Oh, just put it down anywhere.
Put it on the floor. That's fine.
648
00:59:01,299 --> 00:59:02,700
All right. Yes.
649
00:59:07,019 --> 00:59:08,779
- Help yourself.
- Cheers!
650
00:59:08,780 --> 00:59:10,059
- I'm gonna change.
- Yes.
651
00:59:10,059 --> 00:59:11,819
I'll bring you a robe.
652
00:59:19,980 --> 00:59:22,260
I'll put on some music.
653
00:59:31,780 --> 00:59:34,100
- You know, it's strange.
- What?
654
00:59:35,060 --> 00:59:37,899
I say, it's strange.
655
00:59:37,900 --> 00:59:40,300
Yes, I know. And I said, "What?"
656
00:59:40,301 --> 00:59:42,939
- Oh, you mean, what is strange?
- Yes.
657
00:59:42,940 --> 00:59:44,540
Yes, yes.
658
00:59:44,541 --> 00:59:46,499
It's strange
659
00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:50,220
that I have never yet set foot
in this building,
660
00:59:51,261 --> 00:59:55,261
but I have the distinct impression
that I have been here before.
661
00:59:56,621 --> 00:59:59,260
Déjà vu. I have it all the time.
662
00:59:59,261 --> 01:00:02,181
- The old déjà vu. Thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
663
01:00:03,181 --> 01:00:04,661
- You okay?
- Yes.
664
01:00:06,981 --> 01:00:08,901
That feels good.
665
01:00:10,261 --> 01:00:13,540
Well, you know, it's not gonna do you much
good if you don't take your pants off.
666
01:00:13,541 --> 01:00:15,460
- What?
- You gotta take your pants off.
667
01:00:15,461 --> 01:00:16,820
I forgot about that.
668
01:00:16,821 --> 01:00:19,621
Look at me. Look at me. Look at my...
669
01:00:19,622 --> 01:00:21,541
- Look, I'm shaking like a leaf.
- Yes. Yes.
670
01:00:21,542 --> 01:00:23,381
I can't stop shaking. I don't know...
671
01:00:23,382 --> 01:00:25,701
- I know what it is. You know what it is?
- What?
672
01:00:25,702 --> 01:00:28,421
I just, I'm just not used to being killed.
673
01:00:28,422 --> 01:00:30,221
I mean, that's my first time, you know?
674
01:00:30,222 --> 01:00:32,861
I know. But listen,
675
01:00:32,862 --> 01:00:37,741
when you have been killed as many times
as I have, you get used to it, believe me.
676
01:00:37,742 --> 01:00:39,942
- Really?
- Yes, yes, yes.
677
01:00:40,862 --> 01:00:43,421
Yes, indeed.
I'll put this here, keep it nice and warm.
678
01:00:43,422 --> 01:00:45,142
- Well, cheers.
- Cheers.
679
01:00:45,143 --> 01:00:46,822
Cheers.
680
01:00:46,823 --> 01:00:49,462
- Oh, this is for you.
- Oh, yes. Yes, of course.
681
01:00:50,383 --> 01:00:53,021
- Then this must be yours.
- Oh, thank you. Cheers.
682
01:00:53,022 --> 01:00:55,501
Cheers. Cheers.
683
01:00:55,502 --> 01:00:56,903
Yes. Anyway,
684
01:00:59,143 --> 01:01:00,742
you have nothing to fear.
685
01:01:00,743 --> 01:01:02,582
- Yes, I have.
- No, you don't.
686
01:01:02,583 --> 01:01:04,182
- Yes, I have.
- No, no, you don't.
687
01:01:04,183 --> 01:01:06,543
- Yes, I have.
- No. You see,
688
01:01:07,383 --> 01:01:09,464
I am an officer of the law.
689
01:01:10,583 --> 01:01:11,863
The "loo"?
690
01:01:12,624 --> 01:01:13,624
What?
691
01:01:14,223 --> 01:01:17,582
You said you were,
"an officer of the loo"?
692
01:01:17,583 --> 01:01:21,703
That is correct. Yes, yes.
I am a Chief Inspector of the Sûreté.
693
01:01:23,103 --> 01:01:24,982
What?
694
01:01:24,983 --> 01:01:26,383
You doubt me?
695
01:01:27,384 --> 01:01:29,223
No, I don't doubt you.
696
01:01:30,063 --> 01:01:32,943
- Why should I doubt you?
- That's right. Why should you?
697
01:01:32,943 --> 01:01:34,383
If you say so, I don't.
698
01:01:34,384 --> 01:01:37,063
Who were those two men
who tried to kill you tonight?
699
01:01:37,064 --> 01:01:39,504
- Killers.
- Killers? How do you know?
700
01:01:39,504 --> 01:01:41,463
- I know because I worked for Douvier.
- Douvier?
701
01:01:41,464 --> 01:01:43,423
- Douvier.
- I know that name.
702
01:01:43,424 --> 01:01:45,543
Of course you know that name.
Everyone in France knows that name.
703
01:01:45,544 --> 01:01:46,823
He's a millionaire businessman.
704
01:01:46,824 --> 01:01:49,064
Yes, of course.
Douvier, the millionaire businessman.
705
01:01:49,064 --> 01:01:50,503
I knew, I knew him. Yes.
706
01:01:50,504 --> 01:01:53,464
But how many people do you think know
707
01:01:53,465 --> 01:01:58,384
that Douvier, the millionaire businessman,
is also Douvier, the French Connection?
708
01:01:58,385 --> 01:01:59,745
How many?
709
01:02:03,104 --> 01:02:05,624
Well, I suppose his mother, for one.
710
01:02:05,625 --> 01:02:08,064
And why do you suppose
he wanted to have me killed?
711
01:02:08,065 --> 01:02:09,584
Elementary. He wanted you dead.
712
01:02:09,585 --> 01:02:11,185
- Ah!
- Me? Dead... oh!
713
01:02:14,505 --> 01:02:15,664
It's nothing.
714
01:02:15,665 --> 01:02:17,625
- Just a slight singe.
- Are you all right?
715
01:02:17,626 --> 01:02:20,544
- I'm sorry about your robe.
- Oh, that's all right.
716
01:02:20,545 --> 01:02:22,905
Tell me about this Douvier.
717
01:02:24,665 --> 01:02:27,944
I was his mistress, and I was
his private secretary for two years.
718
01:02:27,945 --> 01:02:32,225
I know enough about Philippe
to send him to prison for his whole life.
719
01:02:35,625 --> 01:02:38,426
You keep talking about this Douvier.
720
01:02:39,346 --> 01:02:42,065
But Philippe? Who is Philippe?
721
01:02:42,986 --> 01:02:44,226
Philippe Douvier.
722
01:02:44,385 --> 01:02:45,865
- His son?
- Whose son?
723
01:02:45,866 --> 01:02:47,065
- Douvier.
- He has no son.
724
01:02:47,066 --> 01:02:49,345
- His brother, then.
- His brother's name is Fred.
725
01:02:49,346 --> 01:02:51,745
- Then it has to be his father.
- His father's dead.
726
01:02:51,746 --> 01:02:53,827
Ah! Now we're getting somewhere.
Then who killed him?
727
01:02:53,986 --> 01:02:55,625
No one. He died of natural causes.
728
01:02:55,626 --> 01:02:57,226
Then who is this Philippe?
729
01:02:58,067 --> 01:03:00,025
I wanna see some identification.
730
01:03:00,026 --> 01:03:02,625
- What?
- Right now.
731
01:03:02,626 --> 01:03:05,746
Right now, I wanna see some
identification. If you're not a policeman,
732
01:03:05,747 --> 01:03:07,986
then I shouldn't be telling you
any of these things.
733
01:03:12,427 --> 01:03:15,666
- Can you keep a secret?
- I don't know. That depends.
734
01:03:17,467 --> 01:03:21,346
Then brace yourself
for what I am about to tell you.
735
01:03:21,347 --> 01:03:23,507
I am none other
736
01:03:24,867 --> 01:03:28,466
than Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
737
01:03:28,467 --> 01:03:30,506
No, you're not.
738
01:03:30,507 --> 01:03:32,667
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
739
01:03:34,148 --> 01:03:36,627
- I am.
- You're not.
740
01:03:36,628 --> 01:03:39,386
- I am.
- You are not! You are not!
741
01:03:39,387 --> 01:03:41,746
- Look.
- No, you are not.
742
01:03:41,747 --> 01:03:43,107
Yes, you are.
743
01:03:44,148 --> 01:03:45,907
Oh, my God.
744
01:03:45,908 --> 01:03:48,547
Yes, I admit it's not
a very good photograph, but...
745
01:03:48,548 --> 01:03:51,067
But I saw your funeral on television.
746
01:03:51,068 --> 01:03:54,507
Yes, yes.
Even the Pope was there, you know.
747
01:03:54,508 --> 01:03:56,467
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
748
01:03:56,468 --> 01:03:58,948
But if you're not dead, who's dead?
749
01:04:01,268 --> 01:04:06,548
A wandering transvestite took my car
and stole my clothes at gunpoint.
750
01:04:07,189 --> 01:04:10,427
I have been working under the covers
tracking the killer.
751
01:04:10,428 --> 01:04:12,707
- The killer's Douvier.
- What?
752
01:04:12,708 --> 01:04:14,989
Yes, he wanted to impress the godfather.
753
01:04:16,349 --> 01:04:20,868
What? You mean
Douvier killed a wandering transvestite
754
01:04:20,869 --> 01:04:23,349
- just to impress his godfather?
- Yes!
755
01:04:24,469 --> 01:04:27,149
- The man's unthinkable!
- The door.
756
01:04:27,989 --> 01:04:30,869
- What's wrong with it?
- I saw the knob turn.
757
01:04:56,469 --> 01:04:57,790
Oh, hurry!
758
01:04:58,789 --> 01:05:01,150
- I wonder whose apartment this is.
- Oh, God, I don't know.
759
01:05:04,590 --> 01:05:07,109
The other one's probably upstairs
waiting in my room.
760
01:05:07,110 --> 01:05:09,309
The other one?
How do you know there's another one?
761
01:05:09,310 --> 01:05:12,429
Philippe's assassins always travel in
pairs. It's a company rule.
762
01:05:12,430 --> 01:05:14,589
Do you know
what the Gannet transaction is?
763
01:05:14,590 --> 01:05:16,870
The Gannet transaction, what is that?
764
01:05:16,871 --> 01:05:20,909
It's a code name
for a 50-million-franc heroin sale.
765
01:05:20,910 --> 01:05:22,631
Fifty million francs?
766
01:05:22,790 --> 01:05:26,150
Yes, Philippe's going to Hong Kong on
Tuesday to meet with the American buyer.
767
01:05:26,151 --> 01:05:27,510
Hong Kong?
768
01:05:27,511 --> 01:05:30,871
I don't know how it fits in,
but the Gannet's a boat.
769
01:05:39,111 --> 01:05:40,151
What are you doing?
770
01:05:42,831 --> 01:05:45,070
Now I know
why this place looked so familiar.
771
01:05:45,071 --> 01:05:47,032
- Why?
- Chief Inspector Dreyfus lives here.
772
01:05:51,871 --> 01:05:54,152
I think he has received a faint.
773
01:05:55,871 --> 01:05:58,750
Wake up, Chief Inspector. Wake up.
774
01:05:58,751 --> 01:06:00,312
Chief Inspector.
775
01:06:00,992 --> 01:06:03,992
Hello? Are you in there, Chief Inspector?
776
01:06:04,712 --> 01:06:05,871
Hello?
777
01:06:07,312 --> 01:06:09,912
There's no reply. It's no use.
778
01:06:10,432 --> 01:06:13,031
I think we will have to go
to Hong Kong without him.
779
01:06:13,032 --> 01:06:14,631
- We?
- Yes.
780
01:06:14,632 --> 01:06:17,311
You, I and Cato, who will
translate for us.
781
01:06:17,312 --> 01:06:20,111
Not me. Not me.
I am not going to Hong Kong.
782
01:06:20,112 --> 01:06:22,471
Are you kidding me?
Douvier would shoot me on sight.
783
01:06:22,472 --> 01:06:24,872
Not if he doesn't recognize you,
and he won't.
784
01:06:24,873 --> 01:06:26,072
Why not?
785
01:06:27,432 --> 01:06:31,873
We will leave that up to the great Balls.
786
01:06:33,113 --> 01:06:34,832
The great balls?
787
01:06:35,993 --> 01:06:37,952
At your service!
788
01:06:38,713 --> 01:06:41,832
Please forgive the condition
of my establishment,
789
01:06:41,833 --> 01:06:44,512
but as the Inspector knows...
790
01:06:44,513 --> 01:06:46,592
- Chief.
- Chief Inspector knows...
791
01:06:46,593 --> 01:06:48,792
- Auguste!
- Ah!
792
01:06:48,793 --> 01:06:50,592
I'm so sorry. I beg your pardon.
793
01:06:50,593 --> 01:06:53,753
But as the Chief Inspector knows,
we were bombed.
794
01:06:54,473 --> 01:06:55,753
Sounds like you still are.
795
01:06:55,754 --> 01:06:59,073
Almost all my collection
was either destroyed or damaged.
796
01:06:59,434 --> 01:07:02,232
Starting Monday, I have to
have a fire sale.
797
01:07:02,233 --> 01:07:03,352
Yeah!
798
01:07:03,353 --> 01:07:05,593
You could call it
"The Great Balls of Fire Sale."
799
01:07:05,594 --> 01:07:08,914
- A catchy suggestion!
- Yeah, it's good.
800
01:07:10,114 --> 01:07:11,194
Cunny!
801
01:07:17,554 --> 01:07:21,633
I can't tell you how good it is
to see that you are still alive.
802
01:07:21,634 --> 01:07:25,834
It has been my privilege to serve
the good Inspector, the Chief Inspector,
803
01:07:25,994 --> 01:07:27,753
for all these many years.
804
01:07:27,754 --> 01:07:30,113
Thirteen, to be precise.
805
01:07:30,114 --> 01:07:34,313
And his reported demise
was a real blow to me.
806
01:07:34,314 --> 01:07:36,513
Something's coming.
807
01:07:36,514 --> 01:07:39,433
Yes, yes, Cunny, you are not dreaming.
808
01:07:39,434 --> 01:07:43,233
Our friend, our customer, is alive!
809
01:07:43,234 --> 01:07:44,634
Hello, Cunny.
810
01:07:46,075 --> 01:07:49,154
Now, how can I serve you?
811
01:07:49,155 --> 01:07:52,794
- Well, I...
- "Through wind and mud, snow and hail,
812
01:07:52,795 --> 01:07:55,874
"whether long or short, dark or pale,
813
01:07:55,875 --> 01:07:59,194
"remember that when duty calls,
814
01:07:59,195 --> 01:08:00,955
"you've got Balls."
815
01:08:04,955 --> 01:08:06,154
I gotta sit down.
816
01:08:06,155 --> 01:08:08,354
Yes, yes, of course, of course.
Cunny! Cunny! Cunny! Quick!
817
01:08:08,355 --> 01:08:10,915
Please, please, please!
Come along. Come along.
818
01:08:10,916 --> 01:08:13,394
That's right. That's right. There you are.
You sit. You sit.
819
01:08:13,395 --> 01:08:16,994
- Come, come, come. Sit, sit, sit.
- You're not serious?
820
01:08:16,995 --> 01:08:19,555
There has been no time
to get the new furniture.
821
01:08:19,556 --> 01:08:23,995
Please believe me since the blast,
he's much more comfortable. Please, sit.
822
01:08:23,996 --> 01:08:25,916
As a matter of fact,
I've been sleeping on him.
823
01:08:29,596 --> 01:08:30,755
Chief Inspector?
824
01:08:30,756 --> 01:08:33,915
I am leaving for Hong Kong
first thing in the morning.
825
01:08:33,916 --> 01:08:35,275
Hong Kong?
826
01:08:35,276 --> 01:08:39,395
Do you think you could pick me up
some cheap coolie hats?
827
01:08:39,396 --> 01:08:43,075
My dear Auguste,
I need your best Hong Kong disguise.
828
01:08:43,076 --> 01:08:46,916
Also, I will need something extra special
in the godfather line, you know?
829
01:08:47,757 --> 01:08:49,317
Doctor, please, you must help me.
830
01:08:50,196 --> 01:08:54,396
Is Clouseau real, or am I going mad again?
831
01:08:54,397 --> 01:08:57,835
- What do you think?
- What do I think? What can I think?
832
01:08:57,836 --> 01:09:02,916
If that nincompoop is really alive,
and the things I heard are true,
833
01:09:02,917 --> 01:09:05,036
he'll probably be decorated again
834
01:09:05,037 --> 01:09:07,476
for rounding up the biggest drug ring
in France,
835
01:09:07,477 --> 01:09:09,957
and I'll be a laughingstock.
836
01:09:10,438 --> 01:09:13,637
That sounds reasonable.
What are you going to do?
837
01:09:14,437 --> 01:09:16,676
What choice do I have?
838
01:09:16,677 --> 01:09:20,318
I either commit myself
and come back to be locked up in here,
839
01:09:21,477 --> 01:09:22,477
or...
840
01:09:24,077 --> 01:09:25,758
I go to Hong Kong.
841
01:09:56,759 --> 01:09:58,637
Listen, I don't think I can do this.
842
01:09:58,638 --> 01:10:01,799
Of course, you can. Of course, you can.
Just think yellow and follow me.
843
01:10:33,360 --> 01:10:37,599
Mr. and Mrs. Lo Kee.
844
01:10:39,199 --> 01:10:40,838
You stupid, clumsy oaf!
845
01:10:40,839 --> 01:10:42,439
What the hell do you think you're doing?
846
01:10:42,440 --> 01:10:44,240
You've absolutely ruined my suit!
847
01:10:44,399 --> 01:10:46,240
Why the hell don't you look
where you're going?
848
01:10:48,080 --> 01:10:51,999
I'm Mr. Algo. When Mr. Scallini arrives,
have me paged in the bar.
849
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,720
Certainly, Mr. Algo.
850
01:10:55,081 --> 01:10:57,360
Who is gonna pay for my suit?
851
01:10:59,441 --> 01:11:01,319
See that man?
See that man that was right there?
852
01:11:01,320 --> 01:11:03,960
That's Guy Algo, Philippe's
right-hand man.
853
01:11:03,961 --> 01:11:06,321
This Scallini must be
Mr. Big from New York.
854
01:11:08,400 --> 01:11:10,840
Listen, we'll go up to the room.
855
01:11:10,841 --> 01:11:13,680
You stay here 10 minutes. Then tell Mr....
856
01:11:13,681 --> 01:11:16,560
- Algo.
- Right. Yes, Algo. Yes.
857
01:11:16,561 --> 01:11:19,600
That Mr. You-Know-Who has arrived
and bring him to the room.
858
01:11:19,601 --> 01:11:21,520
- Mr. You-Know-Who?
- Right.
859
01:11:21,521 --> 01:11:24,000
I will be Mr. You-Know-Who. Get it?
860
01:11:24,001 --> 01:11:25,241
Right. Come, Ming Loy.
861
01:12:06,642 --> 01:12:09,162
You got a reservation for Scallini.
862
01:12:15,043 --> 01:12:17,681
Page Mr. Algo in the bar.
Tell him Mr. Scallini's here.
863
01:12:17,682 --> 01:12:18,762
Yes, sir.
864
01:12:41,243 --> 01:12:44,043
- What do you think you're doing?
- Mr. Scallini in lobby.
865
01:13:59,725 --> 01:14:02,966
- Cochon.
- No, no. Fongool.
866
01:14:15,246 --> 01:14:17,685
- Hey, you heard what I said to him?
- Yeah.
867
01:14:17,686 --> 01:14:20,205
Dumb Frenchman! Cochon.
868
01:14:20,206 --> 01:14:21,487
That means pig.
869
01:14:22,926 --> 01:14:25,206
I'll tell Mr. Scallini you're here.
870
01:14:33,846 --> 01:14:36,086
- Listen, boss!
- Not boss. It's me. It's me.
871
01:14:36,086 --> 01:14:37,285
Where is he?
872
01:14:37,286 --> 01:14:39,366
He's in the bathroom
getting into his godfather's disguise.
873
01:14:39,367 --> 01:14:40,565
Algo's in the next room.
874
01:14:40,566 --> 01:14:42,806
Scallini's just down the hall
in the Tang Suite.
875
01:14:42,807 --> 01:14:45,085
- Marvelous.
- We rode up with him in the same elevator.
876
01:14:45,086 --> 01:14:46,886
Maybe I can reach him
before he contacts Philippe.
877
01:14:46,887 --> 01:14:48,366
- What are you going to do?
- I'm not sure.
878
01:14:48,367 --> 01:14:51,287
But you get in there
and keep your eye on Algo.
879
01:15:15,368 --> 01:15:17,208
- Ice?
- Please.
880
01:15:21,567 --> 01:15:23,488
- Soda?
- Yes.
881
01:15:28,528 --> 01:15:30,888
I hope it's not too strong.
882
01:15:30,889 --> 01:15:32,929
I'm sure it will be fine.
883
01:15:34,449 --> 01:15:35,488
Hey!
884
01:15:37,768 --> 01:15:40,928
Ay! Mama mia.
885
01:15:41,208 --> 01:15:43,408
Spaghettini del Al Pacino!
886
01:15:44,768 --> 01:15:49,088
Ay! Kowloon Ken and me have got
a little business to talk over, you know.
887
01:15:49,089 --> 01:15:50,328
We won't be long.
888
01:15:50,329 --> 01:15:52,048
Have another drink.
889
01:15:59,289 --> 01:16:01,489
- Where is she?
- I don't know.
890
01:16:07,169 --> 01:16:08,409
Get out!
891
01:16:10,049 --> 01:16:12,530
- Hello, Mr. Marchione.
- Hey.
892
01:16:13,650 --> 01:16:16,369
- Come on in.
- Thank you. Thank you very much.
893
01:16:16,370 --> 01:16:18,490
- Can I get you a drink?
- Oh, no. Nothing, thank you.
894
01:16:19,650 --> 01:16:23,409
- It's, uh... Simone.
- Oh, you really have a good memory.
895
01:16:23,410 --> 01:16:25,089
Yeah, well, I never forget a pretty face.
896
01:16:26,370 --> 01:16:28,929
Hey, boss. This is Simone.
897
01:16:28,930 --> 01:16:32,849
- That's Douvier's personal...
- Secretary. How do you do, Mr. Scallini?
898
01:16:32,850 --> 01:16:34,609
- We never met before.
- No.
899
01:16:34,610 --> 01:16:36,530
No, if we meet before, you call me Julio.
900
01:16:37,570 --> 01:16:41,009
- That's a nice hand.
- Oh, thank you. That's only the right one.
901
01:16:41,010 --> 01:16:43,209
- You type, too?
- 100 words a minute.
902
01:16:43,210 --> 01:16:44,651
I may faint.
903
01:16:45,331 --> 01:16:48,730
Listen, Mr. Douvier has asked me to
apologize. He's going to be a little late.
904
01:16:48,731 --> 01:16:51,449
If you like, I'll be happy
to keep you company until he arrives.
905
01:16:51,450 --> 01:16:53,770
If I like? Does my mother cook spaghetti?
906
01:16:54,491 --> 01:16:55,971
To the Gannet transaction.
907
01:17:03,131 --> 01:17:05,691
Shall I tell Douvier we're on our way?
908
01:17:07,971 --> 01:17:09,851
Don't forget the money.
909
01:17:19,971 --> 01:17:21,012
What?
910
01:17:21,731 --> 01:17:22,932
Throat?
911
01:17:23,531 --> 01:17:24,611
Back?
912
01:17:25,212 --> 01:17:26,452
Choking!
913
01:17:26,931 --> 01:17:29,572
You want me to hit you on the back?
914
01:17:51,292 --> 01:17:52,892
We're on our way.
915
01:17:54,053 --> 01:17:57,052
- Mr. Douvier will meet us in the lobby.
- Yeah. Great. Great.
916
01:17:57,053 --> 01:17:58,733
- Is that it?
- Yeah.
917
01:17:59,653 --> 01:18:02,652
- Fifty million francs and no bodyguard?
- Listen, buddy,
918
01:18:02,653 --> 01:18:05,331
I take care of my body,
my body takes care of me.
919
01:18:05,332 --> 01:18:07,932
You know what I'm driving at, you know?
920
01:18:15,493 --> 01:18:18,732
- I'll buy some cigarettes, huh?
- Yeah, smoke a few.
921
01:18:18,733 --> 01:18:20,892
When Douvier shows,
I'll meet you in the lobby.
922
01:18:20,893 --> 01:18:22,013
Right.
923
01:19:15,495 --> 01:19:17,495
Hey! Be right with you.
924
01:19:49,896 --> 01:19:51,816
What the hell is going on here?
925
01:20:09,017 --> 01:20:10,616
Lee Kee Shipyards.
926
01:20:17,457 --> 01:20:18,495
Where did he go?
927
01:20:18,496 --> 01:20:20,497
I think they're going to
Lee Kee Shipyards.
928
01:20:43,137 --> 01:20:46,697
You see this? I can tell by your heart
line that you're a very passionate man.
929
01:20:46,698 --> 01:20:48,176
You see how long this is?
930
01:20:48,177 --> 01:20:50,497
Keep watching. It's going to get longer.
931
01:20:54,538 --> 01:20:56,938
- Hello?
- Lee Kee Shipyard. Douvier.
932
01:20:57,538 --> 01:20:58,898
It was Douvier.
933
01:20:59,777 --> 01:21:03,538
And the doorman heard him tell the driver
to go to the Lee Kee Shipyard.
934
01:21:04,338 --> 01:21:05,978
Something is cucuzza around here.
935
01:21:08,898 --> 01:21:11,138
Your boss and a couple of boys
just left the hotel.
936
01:21:12,018 --> 01:21:14,217
Really? I wonder why they did that.
937
01:21:14,218 --> 01:21:17,019
You got me. Why don't we go ask him?
938
01:21:17,418 --> 01:21:20,258
Yes. Okay. Yes, I understand.
939
01:21:20,698 --> 01:21:22,178
Okay, yes.
940
01:21:23,459 --> 01:21:25,857
Douvier left the hotel
about five minutes ago.
941
01:21:25,858 --> 01:21:27,298
He was with two men.
942
01:21:27,299 --> 01:21:29,977
He told the driver
to go to the Lee Kee Shipyard.
943
01:21:29,978 --> 01:21:31,898
I'm sure it was that nincompoop!
944
01:21:37,579 --> 01:21:39,578
I'm sure Mr. Douvier
didn't intend to be gone very long.
945
01:21:39,579 --> 01:21:40,738
Well, we'll see.
946
01:21:40,739 --> 01:21:42,218
Well, it doesn't make much sense, does it?
947
01:21:42,219 --> 01:21:44,178
I mean, if you leave,
and then he comes back...
948
01:21:44,179 --> 01:21:46,940
Stop worrying.
You'll give yourself wrinkles.
949
01:21:53,380 --> 01:21:55,540
What about this Lee Kee Shipyard?
950
01:21:56,419 --> 01:21:58,179
Perfectly legitimate, as far as I know.
951
01:21:58,180 --> 01:22:01,538
They build a line of expensive
power cruisers and sail boats.
952
01:22:01,539 --> 01:22:04,020
Maybe Mr. Douvier
is just buying himself a yacht.
953
01:22:12,059 --> 01:22:13,140
Lee Kee Shipyards?
954
01:22:13,300 --> 01:22:14,939
Yeah, that's what the come si chiama said.
955
01:22:14,940 --> 01:22:17,060
Come si chiama. Lee Kee.
956
01:22:33,141 --> 01:22:34,781
Come on! Move it!
957
01:22:40,261 --> 01:22:41,621
Get them off me!
958
01:24:25,103 --> 01:24:28,143
This is Mr. Chow, our Far Eastern
representative. Mr. Scallini.
959
01:24:28,144 --> 01:24:31,783
- It is an honor to meet you, Mr. Scallini.
- You remember Mr. Algo, of course.
960
01:24:31,784 --> 01:24:33,303
- Shall we go?
- This way, please.
961
01:24:33,304 --> 01:24:35,783
After you launch the boat,
we'll go up to Mr. Chow's office,
962
01:24:35,784 --> 01:24:37,183
and you can sign the ownership papers.
963
01:24:37,184 --> 01:24:40,943
- Everything legal and above board.
- Above the board, yes, yes...
964
01:24:40,944 --> 01:24:45,183
- Where is it? You know...
- Well, I understood you were told.
965
01:24:45,184 --> 01:24:49,104
No, I was...
I've been told, but checking, you know.
966
01:24:50,464 --> 01:24:54,944
- In the keel.
- Oh, the old "keel" ploy. Yes.
967
01:24:54,945 --> 01:24:57,984
Now all you have to do is sail her
around the Caribbean for a while,
968
01:24:57,985 --> 01:25:01,064
haul her out of the water,
take the midsection out of the keel,
969
01:25:01,065 --> 01:25:02,704
and voilà.
970
01:25:02,705 --> 01:25:06,665
Forty kilos of the finest merchandise
your experts have ever tested.
971
01:25:06,825 --> 01:25:10,344
Well, I tell you,
it better had be the best merchandise,
972
01:25:10,345 --> 01:25:13,544
'cause my experts
certainly have tested some.
973
01:25:13,545 --> 01:25:17,144
- We have faith in our merchandise.
- That's good enough.
974
01:25:17,145 --> 01:25:21,266
- Now, would you like to launch her?
- I would be delighted, you know.
975
01:25:38,666 --> 01:25:42,466
September, a good month for the vintage.
976
01:25:46,146 --> 01:25:47,706
Congratulations!
977
01:26:02,387 --> 01:26:04,826
He must be a cop! Get him! Get him!
978
01:26:05,906 --> 01:26:07,227
Hey, boss!
979
01:26:16,747 --> 01:26:18,867
Look out, you Oriental idiot!
980
01:26:22,507 --> 01:26:24,067
What do you think you're doing?
981
01:27:25,069 --> 01:27:26,709
Jesus Christ!
982
01:27:45,589 --> 01:27:47,829
- It's me!
- I know!
983
01:28:01,390 --> 01:28:02,430
Wait!
984
01:28:25,471 --> 01:28:27,351
Hey, hey! Cancel the artillery.
985
01:28:34,071 --> 01:28:37,510
I don't care! I don't care!
Why don't you just get out of my way?
986
01:28:37,511 --> 01:28:40,831
- Hey, Al, where are you?
- How do I know?
987
01:28:41,991 --> 01:28:45,911
Well, wherever you are,
this is Chief Inspector Clouseau,
988
01:28:45,912 --> 01:28:48,430
and I am warning you
that if you are not careful,
989
01:28:48,431 --> 01:28:50,750
I will arrest you all in the
name of the law!
990
01:28:56,712 --> 01:28:58,310
You and your bright ideas.
991
01:28:58,311 --> 01:29:00,751
Let me get my hands on you.
Let me get my hands on you.
992
01:29:01,232 --> 01:29:04,072
- Clouseau?
- Yes?
993
01:29:05,032 --> 01:29:07,991
- Are you wounded?
- No!
994
01:29:07,992 --> 01:29:11,111
Fortunately, I was saved by the darkness.
995
01:29:11,112 --> 01:29:13,552
So what we need is more light.
996
01:29:19,633 --> 01:29:22,793
Look what you did to my shoes!
I'll kill you!
997
01:29:41,433 --> 01:29:43,913
All the time! I won't cut it out!
998
01:29:53,873 --> 01:29:55,434
Hello, Philippe.
999
01:29:56,554 --> 01:29:59,032
Simone! What the hell are you doing here?
1000
01:29:59,033 --> 01:30:01,033
I'm waiting for the
firecrackers to go off.
1001
01:30:01,034 --> 01:30:04,714
- What firecrackers?
- The ones I just stuck in your pants.
1002
01:30:17,874 --> 01:30:19,514
Woah!
1003
01:32:28,638 --> 01:32:32,477
- Hello! I'm so sorry I'm late.
- I was a little worried.
1004
01:32:32,478 --> 01:32:36,637
I had some rather important
police business to attend to, you know.
1005
01:32:36,638 --> 01:32:39,277
- And everything's all right?
- Yes, absolutely fine.
1006
01:32:39,278 --> 01:32:40,758
Allow me to let you in the car.
1007
01:32:41,558 --> 01:32:44,077
- Please.
- It's beautiful.
1008
01:32:44,078 --> 01:32:46,198
It's rather neat, isn't it?
1009
01:32:46,199 --> 01:32:48,318
I call it the Silver Hornet.
1010
01:32:57,239 --> 01:32:59,479
Yes, service, service.
1011
01:33:00,238 --> 01:33:03,599
It's a little overdue for a service,
unfortunately.
1012
01:33:07,679 --> 01:33:10,679
Perhaps it's better to leave that there.
1013
01:33:11,319 --> 01:33:13,718
Well, it's a beautiful night.
Why don't we walk?
1014
01:33:13,719 --> 01:33:15,079
What an excellent idea.
1015
01:33:16,240 --> 01:33:19,158
- I'm sorry about that.
- Yes, that's quite all right.
1016
01:33:19,159 --> 01:33:22,158
- My goodness, you look ravishing tonight.
- Yes, I know that.
1017
01:33:22,159 --> 01:33:24,078
- You know that?
- Well, yes, I know that.
1018
01:33:24,079 --> 01:33:27,839
- Yes, I knew that you knew that. Yes.
- You did? I knew you knew I knew that.
1019
01:33:27,840 --> 01:33:30,199
What made you decide
to become a detective?
1020
01:33:30,200 --> 01:33:34,518
Well, it's not something one decides
every day of the week, you know.
1021
01:33:34,519 --> 01:33:38,159
But in my case, it began
when my great-aunt was kidnapped
1022
01:33:38,160 --> 01:33:42,519
and held for ransom
by an unlicensed Armenian phrenologist.
1023
01:33:42,520 --> 01:33:44,719
An Armenian phrenologist?
1024
01:33:44,720 --> 01:33:48,959
Yes, you know, a man who reads
the bumps on your head.
1025
01:33:48,960 --> 01:33:50,679
- The "beumps"?
- What?
1026
01:33:50,680 --> 01:33:53,719
- You said "beumps"?
- Yes, yes.
1027
01:33:53,720 --> 01:33:57,679
- Have you ever had your bumps read?
- I don't think so.
1028
01:33:57,680 --> 01:34:01,201
I would guess that your bumps
would make excellent reading.
1029
01:34:02,321 --> 01:34:05,000
Would you mind
if I read your bumps someday?
1030
01:34:05,001 --> 01:34:06,480
No, I don't mind.