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00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,236
Hey, everyone,
it's Bobby Leiber.
2
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:31,031
And welcome to your favorite
podcast, The 11th Brick at Stonewall.
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00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:33,784
Because we all know a butch
lesbian or a trans woman of color
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00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,869
probably threw the first
brick at Stonewall,
5
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:39,122
but it was a cis, white, gay
man who threw the 11th brick.
6
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:43,836
And today, as always, I will take you
on a journey throughout LGBTQ+ history,
7
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:47,464
and much more importantly, my own problems
and whatever I feel like talking about.
8
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,715
And this is a big day,
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00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:53,846
because, as of today, The 11th Brick
is celebrating one million subscribers.
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00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:58,183
And in honor of all this exciting
news, I am taking your questions live.
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00:00:58,267 --> 00:00:59,268
First question.
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00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,812
[caller 1] Hi, Bobby. Any chance
for more children's books?
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00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,564
Oh, not at the
moment, but thank you.
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00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,983
As some of you know, I wrote
a series of children's books
15
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,319
to help parents teach kids about
gay history, which no one bought.
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00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,864
Turns out a four-year-old didn't
want to hear a bedtime story
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00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:13,323
about Martina Navratilova.
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Hey, parents. Thanks for teaching
your kids about Santa Claus,
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00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:17,953
a straight man
that doesn't exist,
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00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:20,706
and not Martina Navratilova,
a lesbian who does.
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00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,916
In other news, I
finally got the footage
22
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,586
from my audition to be part
of the next cast of Queer Eye,
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00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:28,547
and you can watch that
on the app right now.
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{\an8}[cast members exclaiming]
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{\an8}- Oh, no.
- Oh, my...
26
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{\an8}[exclaiming, crying]
27
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{\an8}I'm sorry. This is not
sad. It's just not sad.
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{\an8}You gave him a haircut
and a pair of pants.
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00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,438
{\an8}I mean, he looks fine.
30
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,356
{\an8}- Not great.
- [Bobby] Next caller.
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[caller 2] What happened
to that movie you wrote?
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Oh, yeah. The movie.
33
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These big movie producers
came to me and said…
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[Bobby] "We want you to write
a rom-com about a gay couple.
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Something the whole
world would enjoy.
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Something a straight guy might even
like and watch with his girlfriend."
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I said, "Something a straight guy
might like? Like what exactly?
38
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,832
Am I gonna be in the middle
of some high-speed chase,
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00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:06,418
and then all of a sudden
fall in love with Ice Cube?
40
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:09,045
Am I gonna get butt-fucked by
Jason Momoa while we're both,
41
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:11,423
I don't know, worrying
about a volcano?"
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00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:15,427
And he said, "Bobby, we just want
to make a movie that shows the world
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00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:17,721
gay and straight
relationships are the same.
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00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,264
Love is love is love."
45
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,433
I said, "'Love is love is love?'
46
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:23,310
No, it's not. That's bullshit.
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That is a lie we had to make up
48
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to convince you idiots to
finally treat us fairly.
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Love is not love.
50
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:31,485
Our relationships are different.
Our sex lives are different."
51
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:34,530
And he said, "Bobby, we were
just trying to make a nice movie
52
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:35,948
about nice gay people."
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00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:38,325
And I said, "Well, there's
your first mistake,
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because not all gay
people are nice."
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And I got up and left.
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00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,622
Anyway, it's totally fine.
57
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I'm not the right person
to write a rom-com anyway.
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[caller 2] Why not?
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00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,002
Um… I don't know.
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00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:52,005
I mean, I'm 40 years old.
I've never been in love.
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00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,424
I've never even had a serious
relationship, which is fine.
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00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:57,469
You know, I love my life. I love
my freedom. I love my independence.
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00:02:57,553 --> 00:02:59,304
But… [chuckles] …you know,
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00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,015
probably means I'm not the right
person to write a love story.
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00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,852
In exciting news, I
remain very horny,
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00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:08,814
and tonight I am being honored
at the LGBTQ+ Pride Awards.
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00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:13,527
- [celebratory music playing]
- [applause]
68
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,113
Being in the NFL, I never
thought I could come out.
69
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,990
For years, I had to suffer
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00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:21,785
as a hot, ripped, gay person,
living my life in private.
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00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,454
But this last year
has really shown me
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00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:29,293
how amazing life can be when
you are finally publicly hot.
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- [applause]
- Thank you.
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00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:37,050
[host] And now, please welcome Emmy and
Tony award winner, Kristin Chenoweth.
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00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:38,719
Good evening.
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00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:41,638
What an honor for me
to be here tonight.
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00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:45,517
On my head is a hat depicting
the Stonewall riots,
78
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:47,936
where the queer
liberation movement began.
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00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:52,691
And now, the award for cis,
white, gay man of the year.
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00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,484
[upbeat music playing]
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00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,236
Please welcome Bobby Leiber.
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00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,529
- Thank you.
- [applause]
83
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,991
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you, New York.
84
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,702
Thank you. Thank you.
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00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:08,624
Meet Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum,
the Bert and Ernie of Ancient Egypt.
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00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,667
Many scholars believe
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00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:14,463
that they are the first recorded
same-sex couple in history.
88
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:15,923
Yet to this day,
89
00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:20,010
there are historians who refuse to
believe that these men were lovers,
90
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,346
and insist that they
were brothers instead.
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00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:26,600
Thus began 5,000 years
of queer love stories
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00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,185
erased from the history books.
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00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:32,105
No gay love stories to teach us about
love and how to love each other.
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00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:35,984
Well, I'm happy to say
this erasure ends today.
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00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,528
And I am thrilled to announce
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00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,405
I have accepted a position
as the executive director
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00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:44,326
of the first national
LGBTQ+ history museum,
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00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,453
right here in New York City.
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Thank you, New York. Thank you.
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00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:51,625
Thank you so much.
101
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,928
[John] Hey, what's up?
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[Bobby] Hey, what's up?
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Looking? Into?
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Bottom here.
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Versatile.
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[scoffs] Sure you are.
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[doorbell dings]
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Hey, what's up?
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00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,741
Hey, what's up?
110
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[breathing heavily]
111
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[moaning]
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[heavy breathing intensifies]
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[panting]
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Thank you.
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00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,594
You want to finish?
116
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:29,223
Uh… I think I'm good, actually.
117
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,391
Okay, I'll get you
something for that.
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Thanks.
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♪ It's very clear ♪
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♪ Our love is here to stay ♪
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{\an8}For me, the cold and
awkward Grindr hookup
122
00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:50,744
{\an8}is often followed by a walk
around the city by myself.
123
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,079
Anyone else do that?
124
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:56,083
{\an8}It's weird, because you still
had this romantic encounter.
125
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,837
Even though it was odd or unsatisfying,
and you don't even know the person,
126
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:04,758
you're still feeling this, kind of,
post-sex warmth and wistfulness.
127
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,969
So I usually walk
around for a bit,
128
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:10,597
and I kind of coast on that warm
feeling as long as it lasts.
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And between the weird sex with
strangers that you don't like
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00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:18,021
and conversations with friends you love
that you would never have sex with,
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00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:23,986
you know, you cobble together a
version of a romantic single life.
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00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:28,031
And it's good, you
know? It works.
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It's a lot more than what a lot of
other people have in this world.
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And you try to remember that.
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As always, this podcast is
brought to you by Career Donkey.
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[donkey brays]
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[chattering]
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- Hi. Hi, I'm sorry. I know. I'm sorry.
- [exclaiming]
139
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:52,139
What's going on? What did I
miss? How are you guys, Lucas?
140
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:56,435
Well, our surrogate just hit three
months, and, not only that, but we are...
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Having triplets.
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[exclaiming]
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- Oh, my God, congratulations. Oh, my God.
- That's amazing. Yeah.
144
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,986
I'm sorry, you guys. I have to
go. A late shift at the bar.
145
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:08,089
- It was great meeting you guys.
- Nice to meet you.
146
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,531
- And congratulations.
- Thank you.
147
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,490
Bye, Marty.
148
00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:11,867
- Bye, y'all.
- Text us.
149
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,244
So what's happening? Didn't
you guys have an announcement?
150
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:18,749
Okay, so, I totally know this is
a little weird and unexpected,
151
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:22,127
but the reason we've been
hanging around with Marty so much
152
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,671
is that we are kind of…
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dating him.
154
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:27,883
- [exclaiming]
- Okay.
155
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,802
Wait a second. Wait, wait, wait.
156
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,804
What do you mean,
you're dating him?
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I mean, together. Like, as
a couple. We're seeing him.
158
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I guess it's kind of like
a throuple situation.
159
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[laughter]
160
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Hold on. So, wait, what
does that mean exactly?
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00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,942
Like, are you guys just having
threesomes or something?
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Well, we hooked up, but then we started
spending a bunch of time together after.
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00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,781
It turns out we have
a lot in common.
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It's more than just sex. We
genuinely like each other.
165
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Wait, wait. So, how long
has this been going on?
166
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- Six months?
- [exclaiming]
167
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You're in a throuple for six
months, and you didn't tell me?
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We didn't know it'd
get that serious.
169
00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,751
How serious is it gonna
get? You're in a throuple.
170
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,729
What are you gonna do next,
tell your grandparents?
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00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,046
Hi, Grandma.
172
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,589
Oh, hi, honey.
173
00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:09,508
- I have some news.
- Yes?
174
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:12,719
Peter and I are jointly
fucking a third person.
175
00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:13,720
[screams]
176
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:15,305
Oh, my goodness.
177
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:19,726
It's Paul. He and Peter are
jointly fucking someone else.
178
00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:23,105
- Oh, how wonderful. It's a throuple.
- [laughing]
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00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:26,358
We'll be fine. We really trust
each other enough to do this.
180
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,442
[Bobby] Just be careful.
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00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,921
I know a lot of guys who've done
this, and it's a slippery slope.
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These things are fragile.
183
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,699
And, you know, we're men.
Okay? Men dating men.
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Love is not love. We are horny
and selfish and stupid. I am too.
185
00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:40,289
Someone called into my show the other
day and asked me why I'm still single.
186
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,582
I said, "You want to know why?
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00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:45,169
Because I've been gay my whole life, and
I don't trust these gay motherfuckers.
188
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,045
I support them, but
I don't trust them."
189
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:48,297
And are you happy?
190
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:51,091
- Who's so happy all the time?
- Uh, a lot of people.
191
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,775
Well, I really don't
trust those people.
192
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:54,094
- [chuckling]
- Mr. Leiber?
193
00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:56,722
Sorry. I love your podcast.
Can I get a selfie?
194
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,307
Oh, sure.
195
00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,766
[shutter clicks]
196
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:01,226
- Thank you.
- [cell phone chimes]
197
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:04,104
Shit. I told Henry I'd meet
him at this launch party.
198
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:06,815
Ugh. I wanted to go
home and change first.
199
00:10:06,899 --> 00:10:09,002
Aren't you guys just gonna
take your shirts off anyway?
200
00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:11,069
No, we're not just gonna
take our shirts off.
201
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,279
It's not 2003.
202
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:15,490
You have a very clichéd view
of what gay men do at a party.
203
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:19,786
[dance music playing]
204
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,251
What app is this for again?
205
00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:28,795
It's this new hookup app
my company is launching.
206
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:31,715
We've got Grindr. We've got
Tinder. This is Zellweger.
207
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,760
It's for gay guys who just want to
talk about actresses, then go to bed.
208
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:35,844
Oh, I'd use that.
209
00:10:35,928 --> 00:10:38,514
Bobby, I had sex
with a 65-year-old.
210
00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:40,140
Sixty-five?
211
00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:42,184
He didn't have an
age on his profile.
212
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,895
He was really nice, he
had an amazing body,
213
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,647
but he had this
big, white beard.
214
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,315
I felt like Mrs. Claus.
215
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,650
I kind of love that.
216
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,652
There's that guy Aaron.
217
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:03,539
Oh, yeah, I don't
know who that is.
218
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:05,457
He's at the gym sometimes.
219
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:07,835
Very hot. Very boring.
220
00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,711
Well, what else is new?
221
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:13,757
Oh. Also, today I had sex
with a guy who peed on me.
222
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:14,967
Oh, are you into that?
223
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,469
- Not really, but what else was I doing?
- Fair enough.
224
00:11:17,553 --> 00:11:19,137
It was honestly kind of boring.
225
00:11:19,972 --> 00:11:21,014
Hey, what's up?
226
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:23,475
Hey.
227
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,352
- Well, hello, Aaron.
- Hey.
228
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:26,478
This is Bobby.
229
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:29,273
Do you boys need another drink?
I'm getting a shitrocket.
230
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,524
What the hell's a shitrocket?
231
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,943
It's like a Red Bull
but with protein.
232
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,320
Oh. Shitrocket and
vodka, I guess.
233
00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:37,322
Move, boys. Daddy needs a drink.
234
00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,490
Thank you.
235
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,372
[Aaron sighs]
236
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:47,958
You look angry.
237
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,376
Me?
238
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:52,296
Well, I'm not. That's
just the way I look.
239
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:56,425
I know. People always come up to
me and tell me that, but I'm not.
240
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:57,759
I'm not angry.
241
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,470
I listen to your podcast.
242
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,680
Oh, really?
243
00:12:02,181 --> 00:12:03,265
That's cool.
244
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,102
I hear you're boring.
245
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:08,979
Who said that? I'm not boring.
246
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,899
I don't know. A lot of people.
247
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:13,859
Cool.
248
00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:16,737
I'm sorry. That was mean.
249
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:20,490
I'm very bad at flirting.
250
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,202
And I'm also the type of person
who tells you I'm flirting,
251
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:25,037
which is so sexy.
252
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,288
It's okay.
253
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:29,791
What do you do?
254
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,378
For work? I do probate law.
255
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:36,089
I'm an estate planner. Basically,
I write people's wills.
256
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:37,508
Do you like it?
257
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,134
Oh, sure. When I was a kid,
258
00:12:39,218 --> 00:12:41,378
first thing I would think
when I would meet someone is,
259
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,805
"Who's that person gonna leave
their shit to when they die?"
260
00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:47,518
I really wanted to be part of
the legal logistics of that.
261
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:50,687
That's funny.
262
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,772
[slurps]
263
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:54,858
That guy's hot, right?
264
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:57,986
[Bobby] Oh, yeah. He is.
265
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,823
I'm supposed to fuck him
and his husband later.
266
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:05,994
Cool.
267
00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:07,913
Very good.
268
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,390
["Heartbreaker (Junior's
Heartbreaker Club Mix)" playing]
269
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:12,000
- Oh, I love this song.
- What is this?
270
00:13:12,084 --> 00:13:15,045
Old-school Mariah. How
do you not know this?
271
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:19,508
I'm more of a country guy.
You know, like Garth Brooks.
272
00:13:20,092 --> 00:13:21,468
Garth Brooks?
273
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,595
Who are you?
274
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,812
Actually, Carrie Underwood
blocked me on Twitter...
275
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,109
What the fuck?
276
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:38,777
Where the fuck did he go?
277
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,405
I don't know. This is
why I hate these people.
278
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,782
Oh, my God. That's
the 65-year-old.
279
00:13:44,575 --> 00:13:46,285
[Bobby] Jesus, he's ripped.
280
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:49,288
I know. It's like they injected
steroids into Dumbledore.
281
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:58,589
Hey, what's up?
282
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,467
- Thanks.
- Hey. Where'd you go?
283
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:04,344
I don't know. Nowhere.
284
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,768
Yas, live your lives,
queens! Okurrr!
285
00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:15,522
Gay guys are so stupid.
286
00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:16,982
Oh, my God, I know.
287
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:19,568
Gay guys are usually
the absolute smartest
288
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,862
or the dumbest
people I've ever met.
289
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:25,032
We've been smart enough to brand
ourselves as being smart and clever.
290
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:26,658
I've hooked up with guys,
291
00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:30,120
and afterwards I'll make a joke
or I'll say something sarcastic,
292
00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:32,364
and the guy does not understand
that I'm making a joke.
293
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:35,584
Literally does not
understand satire.
294
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,920
I know. And straight people
think we're all smart,
295
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:40,005
but a lot of these
guys are dumb as shit.
296
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,089
[chuckling] Yes.
297
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:44,510
To our little secret.
298
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:57,731
Actually...
299
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,444
Are you fucking kidding me?
300
00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:04,780
[Bobby] Hey.
301
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:07,115
Hey. What were you talking
to Aaron about for so long?
302
00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:09,826
Just about how a lot of gay guys
are secretly incredibly stupid.
303
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:10,994
Oh, how fabulous.
304
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,830
I don't understand. We're having a
good time, and then he ghosts me.
305
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,624
He just fucking disappears.
306
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:21,338
Bobby, don't. Let
it go. He's a dick.
307
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,466
No, I am not letting it
go. I do not let things go.
308
00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:26,468
- Why aren't you dancing?
- I am dancing, okay?
309
00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:28,571
What do you want me to do,
the fucking Nutcracker Suite?
310
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:29,847
[scoffs]
311
00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:31,890
Hey.
312
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:33,058
Hey, what's up?
313
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,537
I tried to kiss you and you
didn't kiss me back is what's up.
314
00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:37,062
I'm sorry. I'm shy.
315
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,522
Please. What are you into?
316
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,732
One of these boring, ripped
idiots with no opinions?
317
00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:45,070
No, I'd like someone who's physically
very frail and won't stop talking.
318
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:55,247
Come home with me.
319
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,957
I can't.
320
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,083
Why?
321
00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:01,670
'Cause you have to fuck the fake
baseball player and his husband?
322
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,256
- I don't know what to tell you.
- [Bobby scoffs]
323
00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:07,509
- Goodbye.
- Hey, wait, wait. Take my number.
324
00:16:07,593 --> 00:16:09,219
- Absolutely not.
- Why?
325
00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:11,221
Because I'm one of the
smart ones, asshole.
326
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:13,307
Oh, are you emotionally
unavailable?
327
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,851
No one's more emotionally
unavailable than me. No one.
328
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,686
I pride myself on that.
329
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:20,063
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
Henry has my number.
330
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:23,358
See you on Grindr or Zellweger or
whatever the fuck the next one is.
331
00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:25,027
I'm not on any of those.
332
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,862
Then how do you meet people?
333
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:29,448
I'm not really looking.
334
00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:31,617
Yeah.
335
00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:33,702
Me neither.
336
00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,333
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
337
00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:43,670
Oh, my God, they cannot stop
voguing. They cannot stop voguing.
338
00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:47,257
Excuse me, I know you're voguing,
but can I please go home? Please?
339
00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:48,759
[gasps]
340
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,844
[Joe] I had a gut feeling
you would be online now.
341
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:52,471
Hi.
342
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:53,764
[cell phone chirps]
343
00:16:55,766 --> 00:16:56,892
[Mark] Hey, what's up?
344
00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,478
- [cell phone chirps]
- [Bobby] Not much. You?
345
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:02,898
No. Okay.
346
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,775
But us texting each
other anonymously,
347
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:08,487
I never realized how much Grindr was
just like You've Got Mail. Smiley face.
348
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,571
Ha ha. LOL. Dick pic?
349
00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:12,866
No dick pic. Sorry.
350
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:14,242
Think about You've Got Mail.
351
00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:17,079
Meg Ryan would never send you
a picture of her genitalia.
352
00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:19,623
Ha ha. LOLOL. Can
I see your ass?
353
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,084
Don't have ass pic. Sorry.
354
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,710
Need to see ass pic though.
355
00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:25,170
Don't have ass pic!
356
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:28,257
Not gonna meet up
unless you send ass pic.
357
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,342
Must see pic of ass!
358
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:33,095
- [cell phone chirps]
- [groans]
359
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,889
[sighs]
360
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,403
Ow! Fuck!
361
00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:51,280
I'm bleeding!
362
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,115
How am I gonna shit now?
363
00:17:53,699 --> 00:17:55,284
I can't fuck. I can't shit.
364
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:57,494
I'm not a person, goddamn it!
365
00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:04,001
It's too fucking flat.
366
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:13,677
[camera shutter clicks]
367
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:17,681
Took this just for you, bro.
368
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:22,603
[cell phone beeps]
369
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:23,854
Did he block me?
370
00:18:24,438 --> 00:18:25,856
Motherfucker!
371
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:30,235
Hallheart proudly presents our
first bisexual holiday film,
372
00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:32,696
{\an8}the award-winning
Christmas with Either.
373
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:38,452
{\an8}Hallheart. Always on the
cutting edge… of Christmas.
374
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,288
[Bobby] People.
375
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:45,834
Okay. Okay, people! People,
please! It's getting late.
376
00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:48,879
We still need to find a donor to
fund the exhibit in the final wing.
377
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,965
As you know, Pier 1 Imports was
supposed to make a big donation,
378
00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:54,235
but they went bankrupt and have
been bought by the Taliban.
379
00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:57,721
- Taliban.
- So we are short five million dollars.
380
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,640
We can't afford to
push our opening again.
381
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:02,484
People will think we're in trouble.
This whole place could fall apart.
382
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:05,246
We need new ideas for what goes in
the final wing, and we need them now.
383
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,271
Cherry, go.
384
00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:09,233
You know the blue whale hanging
in the Museum of Natural History?
385
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:10,526
- Yes.
- What about that,
386
00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:13,111
but instead of the blue whale,
387
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,530
it's a lesbian?
388
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,116
- [Wanda] Oh, no. No.
- [Bobby] Well, yeah, we can't do that.
389
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,245
What about a transgender woman
from an Indigenous nation?
390
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,955
Goddamn it, Wanda!
391
00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:26,124
What about the 400 lesbians
who fought in the Civil War?
392
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,168
Shut up, Cherry. They
were not all lesbians.
393
00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:29,586
Some of them were trans men.
394
00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:35,092
Okay, stop. This building is a rare chance
to legitimize the history of bisexuals.
395
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:36,218
Oh, God. Here we go.
396
00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:40,222
We say LGBTQ, but we
always skip over the B.
397
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:44,434
I want a hall of bisexuals. Like
Disney's Hall of Presidents.
398
00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:49,106
I want a stage full of
animatronic, talking bisexuals.
399
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,942
Talking and moving and
gesturing bisexuals.
400
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:55,487
You know what? This happens
to be Bisexual Awareness Week,
401
00:19:55,571 --> 00:19:58,365
and no one has acknowledged it!
402
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,367
- I acknowledged.
- That is true. My bad.
403
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:03,537
Lesbian History
Month was in March.
404
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,497
Nobody said a goddamn thing!
405
00:20:05,581 --> 00:20:06,999
It's June!
406
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:08,500
It was in March!
407
00:20:08,584 --> 00:20:11,003
Of course lesbians get a
month, and we get a week.
408
00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:12,379
- Robert.
- What?
409
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:14,673
I want you to know
that I hear you.
410
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,842
I see you, and I'm
holding space for you.
411
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:19,011
There she go. There she go.
412
00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:23,348
She never has any ideas of her own,
but she's always "holding space."
413
00:20:23,432 --> 00:20:25,726
A lesbian wrote
"America the Beautiful."
414
00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:27,227
God, no. I can't.
415
00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:29,688
Katharine Lee Bates wrote
the lyrics on a napkin.
416
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:33,650
If you go to her house in
Virginia, they have the napkin!
417
00:20:33,734 --> 00:20:37,946
What if the final exhibit was a
recreation of a queer wedding?
418
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,781
- I like that.
- Okay, that I don't hate.
419
00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:42,576
Tamara, that is so
sweet. I love that.
420
00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:44,859
And people can come and
register for wedding gifts here.
421
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:46,038
Oh, my God. And...
422
00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:47,121
No!
423
00:20:47,164 --> 00:20:49,750
That is old-fashioned,
heteronormative nonsense.
424
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:52,753
We need to get people to rethink
history through a queer prism,
425
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:55,231
not comfort them with another
fucking gay wedding, all right?
426
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:56,840
It's a museum. It's
not Schitt's Creek.
427
00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:59,092
- I like Schitt's Creek.
- Love Schitt's Creek.
428
00:20:59,176 --> 00:21:00,385
That show has layers.
429
00:21:00,469 --> 00:21:02,137
Everyone loves
Schitt's Creek. Okay.
430
00:21:02,221 --> 00:21:04,723
That's who you remind
me of. Eugene Levy.
431
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:05,891
[Angela whispers] Yes.
432
00:21:06,725 --> 00:21:08,644
Okay, Mr. Funk.
433
00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:10,771
How can I help you today?
434
00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:12,689
I need to adjust my will.
435
00:21:12,773 --> 00:21:14,608
Okay. Can I ask you why?
436
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:17,444
Because I'm dying.
I have cancer.
437
00:21:18,028 --> 00:21:19,196
I'm so sorry to hear that.
438
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:21,865
I just need to figure out
where my money's going.
439
00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:24,576
Okay, do you have a
partner or spouse?
440
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:26,245
No and no.
441
00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:27,371
- Children?
- No.
442
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:29,122
- Family member?
- No.
443
00:21:29,206 --> 00:21:30,206
Close friend?
444
00:21:30,249 --> 00:21:31,667
Not anymore.
445
00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:33,961
Okay, um…
446
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:36,547
Well, sometimes it
helps to close your eyes
447
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:39,633
and think about who means
the most to you in the world.
448
00:21:44,388 --> 00:21:45,597
Who is it?
449
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:47,599
Cher.
450
00:21:48,267 --> 00:21:51,645
Okay, so you want
to leave $100,000…
451
00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:53,647
to Cher?
452
00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:56,775
Do you really think
that she needs that?
453
00:21:56,859 --> 00:21:59,027
She has a huge staff.
454
00:21:59,111 --> 00:22:01,029
- O-Okay.
- [secretary] Mr. Shepard, I...
455
00:22:01,113 --> 00:22:04,074
Sorry to interrupt.
Mrs. Bailey passed away.
456
00:22:06,243 --> 00:22:08,662
Oh, God. This is so depressing.
457
00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:11,331
I'm so sorry. I can only imagine
what you're going through.
458
00:22:11,415 --> 00:22:13,500
No, I mean your job.
459
00:22:13,584 --> 00:22:14,793
What a downer.
460
00:22:17,254 --> 00:22:18,463
[cell phone dings]
461
00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:22,050
It's Aaron. How's Grindr?
462
00:22:24,052 --> 00:22:27,514
[Bobby] A dream. I spent 45 minutes
taking a picture of my own ass.
463
00:22:27,598 --> 00:22:31,059
How are you? How was group sex
with that faux Chicago Cub?
464
00:22:31,143 --> 00:22:33,103
[Aaron] It was fun. They
invited me back tomorrow.
465
00:22:33,187 --> 00:22:35,907
Their surrogate is pregnant, and
they're having a gender-reveal orgy.
466
00:22:35,981 --> 00:22:37,733
A gender-reveal orgy?
467
00:22:37,816 --> 00:22:39,610
James Baldwin would be so proud.
468
00:22:44,239 --> 00:22:45,365
[Aaron] LOL.
469
00:22:45,449 --> 00:22:48,493
I woke up laughing about you so
rudely calling me out on my shit.
470
00:22:48,577 --> 00:22:49,995
Well, you deserved it, bitch.
471
00:22:50,078 --> 00:22:53,373
Honestly, I was impressed. You may be
more emotionally unavailable than I am.
472
00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:56,043
Well, maybe we can be
emotionally unavailable together.
473
00:22:56,126 --> 00:22:58,670
"Maybe we can be emotionally
unavailable together"?
474
00:22:58,754 --> 00:23:00,923
Who's writing your
texts? Maroon 5?
475
00:23:01,006 --> 00:23:02,674
- Fuck off.
- [Bobby] Kidding!
476
00:23:02,758 --> 00:23:04,801
We can go out. Are
you asking me out?
477
00:23:04,885 --> 00:23:06,678
- I'm down for whatever.
- Yeah, same.
478
00:23:06,762 --> 00:23:07,804
- Cool.
- Sounds good.
479
00:23:07,888 --> 00:23:09,806
So, tomorrow? Or
we can do whenever.
480
00:23:09,890 --> 00:23:11,892
Yeah, I can do whenever,
and I can do whatever.
481
00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:13,602
- I don't care what we do.
- Me neither.
482
00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:15,604
We can do whatever, and
we can do it whenever.
483
00:23:15,687 --> 00:23:17,624
- Does that work for you?
- That definitely works.
484
00:23:17,648 --> 00:23:20,234
- Great. Whatever, whenever.
- Cool. Whatever, whenever.
485
00:23:20,317 --> 00:23:22,027
GIF of Michael Scott dancing.
486
00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:23,028
That's good.
487
00:23:23,111 --> 00:23:25,739
Office GIF? This
person isn't gay.
488
00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:28,659
Heart. Ugh, no.
Un-heart. Thumbs up.
489
00:23:28,742 --> 00:23:31,078
- Peace.
- Peace?
490
00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:32,204
Later.
491
00:23:33,372 --> 00:23:35,040
Can't you heart my later, bitch?
492
00:23:35,624 --> 00:23:36,792
Bye!
493
00:23:42,047 --> 00:23:44,675
You're from here, right? Your
parents still live in the city?
494
00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:47,261
No. My parents both
passed away, actually.
495
00:23:47,344 --> 00:23:48,345
Oh, I'm sorry.
496
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:50,514
Oh, yeah. Thanks.
It wasn't recent.
497
00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:54,393
My mom died when I was in college,
and my dad died ten years ago.
498
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:55,644
A bee! A bee! A bee! A bee!
499
00:23:55,727 --> 00:23:57,771
Whoa, whoa! Stop swatting!
You're gonna kill it.
500
00:23:57,855 --> 00:23:59,655
That's what I'm trying
to do. It's on my neck.
501
00:23:59,731 --> 00:24:00,971
Bees are dying. Don't you read?
502
00:24:01,024 --> 00:24:02,526
Yes! About gay stuff and movies.
503
00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:05,112
- Can you do something?
- Yes, yes, yes. Here. It's okay.
504
00:24:05,195 --> 00:24:07,823
- You're touching the bee!
- I know. Okay.
505
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,578
Wow. Thank you.
506
00:24:12,661 --> 00:24:14,580
You're like a grown-up
gay Boy Scout,
507
00:24:14,663 --> 00:24:18,000
and I'm like whatever ends
up happening to Evan Hansen.
508
00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:19,877
Let me see what's playing.
509
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,964
What's your favorite
movie of all time?
510
00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:26,800
What's my favorite movie
of all time? I don't know.
511
00:24:27,384 --> 00:24:28,664
Why? What's your favorite movie?
512
00:24:28,719 --> 00:24:30,345
The Hangover.
513
00:24:30,429 --> 00:24:33,432
The Hangover is your
favorite movie of all time?
514
00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:35,267
How many movies
have you seen? One?
515
00:24:35,350 --> 00:24:36,393
It's a funny movie.
516
00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:37,477
Yeah, kinda.
517
00:24:37,561 --> 00:24:39,897
And you remember one of the
first lines of that movie?
518
00:24:39,980 --> 00:24:42,774
- "Paging Dr. Faggot." Remember that?
- Yes.
519
00:24:42,858 --> 00:24:44,776
"Paging Dr. Faggot" is
one of the first lines
520
00:24:44,860 --> 00:24:48,322
of the highest-grossing comedy of
2009, and no one talks about it. Right?
521
00:24:48,405 --> 00:24:51,408
And it wasn't that long ago. We're
just supposed to laugh it off.
522
00:24:51,491 --> 00:24:54,244
It doesn't bother me. I'm
not sensitive like that.
523
00:24:54,328 --> 00:24:56,128
I think you just like
getting angry at things.
524
00:24:56,205 --> 00:24:58,165
Getting angry at things
is like your brand.
525
00:24:58,248 --> 00:25:00,876
What? No, it's not! Fuck you.
526
00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:03,504
Getting angry at things is
my brand? No, no, no, no.
527
00:25:03,587 --> 00:25:06,547
You just don't like to complain because
that means your feelings were hurt.
528
00:25:06,590 --> 00:25:09,426
And that means admitting you're
weak. And that's too vulnerable.
529
00:25:09,510 --> 00:25:11,970
And as much as we go around
saying men should be vulnerable,
530
00:25:12,054 --> 00:25:14,097
you and I both know
that is such bullshit.
531
00:25:14,181 --> 00:25:15,599
Because for a lot
of these gay guys,
532
00:25:15,682 --> 00:25:17,935
sweetness and vulnerability
are wonderful and lovely,
533
00:25:18,018 --> 00:25:19,978
but they can also be
a real boner killer.
534
00:25:21,438 --> 00:25:22,481
You're very intense.
535
00:25:23,732 --> 00:25:24,733
Yes.
536
00:25:25,817 --> 00:25:27,486
I was kidding, by the way.
537
00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:30,239
- About what?
- The Hangover. It's not my favorite movie.
538
00:25:31,031 --> 00:25:32,324
No, you weren't.
539
00:25:32,407 --> 00:25:35,160
Yeah, I was. I just like
seeing you get riled up.
540
00:25:35,244 --> 00:25:37,829
- I don't believe you.
- I was kidding.
541
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,083
Hmm.
542
00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:43,043
I don't like this.
543
00:25:46,088 --> 00:25:50,592
Okay. Let's see what
we have here. Mm-mmm.
544
00:25:50,676 --> 00:25:53,595
Oh, The Treasure Inside is supposed
to be really good, actually.
545
00:25:53,679 --> 00:25:54,847
[Aaron] What's that about?
546
00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:59,184
It's about two closeted gay frontiersmen
in the California Gold Rush of 1849.
547
00:25:59,268 --> 00:26:02,388
But really, it's about two straight actors
playing gay, trying to win an Oscar.
548
00:26:02,437 --> 00:26:05,357
I never tire of watching
two very straight actors
549
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,068
really transform themselves
into being sad and gay.
550
00:26:08,151 --> 00:26:10,279
Gay actors playing gay.
That's not even acting.
551
00:26:10,362 --> 00:26:11,613
Oh, I totally agree.
552
00:26:11,697 --> 00:26:14,825
If they ever make a movie about my life,
they'd better hire a straight actor.
553
00:26:14,908 --> 00:26:17,035
I like to think of my life
story as just another way
554
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,037
for Benedict Cumberbatch
to really score.
555
00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:22,332
Okay, if we don't see this
movie, what are we gonna do?
556
00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:24,209
I didn't say I didn't
want to see the movie.
557
00:26:24,293 --> 00:26:25,653
- Oh!
- I'll see the fucking movie.
558
00:26:26,128 --> 00:26:27,337
I'm dying to.
559
00:26:28,088 --> 00:26:31,216
I'd put it way above
Call Me by Your Name
560
00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:33,594
but sort of below Dallas Buyers.
561
00:26:33,677 --> 00:26:35,053
Well, it got me in the end.
562
00:26:35,137 --> 00:26:37,347
Yeah, but why does it
always have to be so tragic?
563
00:26:37,431 --> 00:26:39,808
I don't know. Philadelphia,
Milk, Brokeback.
564
00:26:39,892 --> 00:26:41,518
Happy endings don't win Oscars.
565
00:26:41,602 --> 00:26:43,520
Straight people love
seeing us miserable.
566
00:26:43,604 --> 00:26:45,898
- [Aaron] Mmm.
- [moviegoer] Wait, Aaron Shepard?
567
00:26:46,815 --> 00:26:49,234
Josh Evans? Holy shit!
568
00:26:49,318 --> 00:26:51,296
- Hey, man. Bro! Nice to see you.
- What is up, dude?
569
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:52,779
It's been for-fucking-ever.
570
00:26:52,863 --> 00:26:54,623
Aaron and I, we played
hockey in high school.
571
00:26:54,698 --> 00:26:55,949
This is my fiancée, Samantha.
572
00:26:56,033 --> 00:26:57,618
- Hey!
- Hey. Nice to meet you.
573
00:26:57,701 --> 00:26:59,411
This is Bobby.
574
00:26:59,494 --> 00:27:00,495
- Hey.
- Hey.
575
00:27:00,579 --> 00:27:04,124
We just saw The Treasure Inside.
It's about closeted gay frontiersmen.
576
00:27:04,208 --> 00:27:05,209
Oh. Okay. Nice.
577
00:27:05,292 --> 00:27:07,377
[stammers] It's just
some dumb movie.
578
00:27:07,461 --> 00:27:10,422
Oh, wait. I wanna see
that. Gay guys are my jam.
579
00:27:10,506 --> 00:27:12,049
[Bobby chuckles]
580
00:27:12,132 --> 00:27:13,717
So, what are you
guys doing here?
581
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,596
Just a little trip. It's her first time
in New York City. This city is sick.
582
00:27:17,679 --> 00:27:19,681
- It really is.
- Yeah.
583
00:27:20,307 --> 00:27:21,975
Well… awesome!
584
00:27:22,059 --> 00:27:23,227
Yeah. Nice to meet you, Bob.
585
00:27:23,310 --> 00:27:24,686
[Bobby] Nice to meet you guys.
586
00:27:24,770 --> 00:27:28,815
That is crazy. I never run
into anybody from my hometown.
587
00:27:28,899 --> 00:27:32,319
Oh, yeah, bro. Totally, bro.
Just some dumb movie, bro.
588
00:27:33,195 --> 00:27:35,030
I had the biggest crush
on him in high school.
589
00:27:35,113 --> 00:27:36,782
Yep. That tracks.
590
00:27:38,784 --> 00:27:42,454
Well, like the bearded lady in
The Greatest Showman, this is me.
591
00:27:42,538 --> 00:27:43,539
[cell phone chimes]
592
00:27:44,706 --> 00:27:45,999
Oh.
593
00:27:47,376 --> 00:27:48,961
The faux Chicago Cub?
594
00:27:49,044 --> 00:27:50,754
Yeah. His husband
just sent me that.
595
00:27:50,838 --> 00:27:53,924
Wow. They are extremely hot.
596
00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:56,207
Yeah, Mike and Doug. They're
these roided-out meatheads.
597
00:27:56,260 --> 00:27:58,020
They're not the brightest,
but they're sweet.
598
00:27:59,346 --> 00:28:00,514
Do you wanna go over there?
599
00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:02,015
Wait. Are you ditching me again
600
00:28:02,099 --> 00:28:04,393
to go fuck the baseball
cosplayer and his husband?
601
00:28:04,476 --> 00:28:06,687
No, I'm not ditching
you. I'm inviting you.
602
00:28:06,770 --> 00:28:07,980
[laughs]
603
00:28:08,564 --> 00:28:10,399
Why don't you just
come upstairs?
604
00:28:10,482 --> 00:28:14,111
Uh… I don't really do the whole
relationship thing very well.
605
00:28:14,194 --> 00:28:15,737
Relationship?
606
00:28:15,821 --> 00:28:18,782
When did I say I wanted to be
in a relationship with you?
607
00:28:18,866 --> 00:28:20,534
We literally hung out one day.
608
00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:24,037
Yeah, but if I go upstairs, it
becomes like a whole thing and…
609
00:28:24,121 --> 00:28:26,498
Whatever. We should just go
over there. It'll be fun.
610
00:28:26,582 --> 00:28:29,262
I'm not gonna go, but you should
go. Can I ask you one thing though?
611
00:28:29,334 --> 00:28:31,628
Why did you text me if
you didn't wanna hook up?
612
00:28:31,712 --> 00:28:33,964
I'm not angry. I'm
just honestly curious.
613
00:28:34,548 --> 00:28:36,508
I didn't say I
didn't wanna... I...
614
00:28:38,969 --> 00:28:40,729
I guess I had fun talking
to you at the club,
615
00:28:40,804 --> 00:28:42,973
and I wanted to say,
"Hey, what's up?"
616
00:28:43,056 --> 00:28:45,267
"Hey, what's up?" So
basically you texted me
617
00:28:45,350 --> 00:28:47,603
when you were feeling hungover
and lonely in that moment,
618
00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:50,772
but you're not actually into me,
but you went on the date anyway.
619
00:28:50,856 --> 00:28:52,941
Why are gay guys so weird?
620
00:28:53,025 --> 00:28:54,693
Actually, you know,
we're not weird.
621
00:28:54,776 --> 00:28:57,362
We're just constantly catering
to our own whims and needs,
622
00:28:57,446 --> 00:28:59,781
which can change on a dime,
but we never even think about
623
00:28:59,865 --> 00:29:01,742
the emotional consequences
of the other person.
624
00:29:02,367 --> 00:29:05,537
Anyway, it's been a blast
catering to your whims.
625
00:29:05,621 --> 00:29:07,873
And, honestly, I can't
really say anything about it
626
00:29:07,956 --> 00:29:10,751
because I do the same thing
to people all the time, so…
627
00:29:13,128 --> 00:29:14,546
- Fun day.
- Fun day.
628
00:29:14,630 --> 00:29:16,423
- [Bobby] And, um…
- [Aaron] Yeah.
629
00:29:17,090 --> 00:29:19,176
- Have fun with those guys.
- Okay. Bye.
630
00:29:22,346 --> 00:29:23,347
Bobby, wait.
631
00:29:32,606 --> 00:29:34,483
I had a really nice time today.
632
00:29:34,566 --> 00:29:35,692
Me too.
633
00:29:35,776 --> 00:29:37,861
I never go on dates,
but that was really fun.
634
00:29:37,945 --> 00:29:40,030
Yeah. I had a really
good time too.
635
00:29:43,742 --> 00:29:46,245
[Aaron moaning]
636
00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:52,876
Hey, I'm gonna go.
637
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,211
[sucking, kissing]
638
00:29:54,294 --> 00:29:55,337
Oh, really?
639
00:29:55,420 --> 00:29:56,797
Yeah.
640
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,257
Is everything okay?
Is this weird?
641
00:29:58,340 --> 00:30:01,677
Oh, no, no, no. No, it's fun.
It's great. I'm just gonna go.
642
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,387
- Okay.
- Okay. I'll see you.
643
00:30:03,470 --> 00:30:05,931
- All right. Bye.
- Okay. Bye.
644
00:30:06,014 --> 00:30:07,975
Hey, guys. I'm gonna
go. Thank you so much.
645
00:30:08,058 --> 00:30:09,852
- No. You're leaving?
- Yeah, I gotta go.
646
00:30:09,935 --> 00:30:12,163
- It was nice meeting you.
- Yeah, you too. It was lovely.
647
00:30:12,187 --> 00:30:13,605
- Thank you. Night.
- All right.
648
00:30:14,565 --> 00:30:15,607
Okay. Okay.
649
00:30:16,775 --> 00:30:18,735
Thanks for coming. We're
convinced Brian's gay,
650
00:30:18,819 --> 00:30:21,139
and I think it's good for him
to have his gay uncle around.
651
00:30:21,196 --> 00:30:24,700
Oh, my God. Of course. I'm always here
to be a good "guncle" to my "g-nephew."
652
00:30:25,617 --> 00:30:28,704
Uncle Bobby, will you read my
report? It's about Freddie Mercury.
653
00:30:28,787 --> 00:30:30,455
He's obsessed with
Bohemian Rhapsody.
654
00:30:30,539 --> 00:30:31,582
Oh, my God. I love this.
655
00:30:31,665 --> 00:30:34,945
And like that movie, does your report take
a story about one of the great gay icons
656
00:30:35,002 --> 00:30:37,442
and make it about that one time
he maybe had sex with a woman?
657
00:30:37,504 --> 00:30:39,673
- I thought Freddie Mercury was bi.
- He had a wife.
658
00:30:39,756 --> 00:30:41,758
Yeah, well, so did
Jesus, and he was gay.
659
00:30:41,842 --> 00:30:45,596
This is excellent and an
improvement on the film. Good job!
660
00:30:45,679 --> 00:30:48,390
- [cell phone chimes]
- What are those GIFs from The Hangover?
661
00:30:48,473 --> 00:30:51,560
Nothing. This guy I went out
with won't stop texting me.
662
00:30:51,643 --> 00:30:52,978
A guy?
663
00:30:53,061 --> 00:30:54,730
Really? Like a Grindr guy?
664
00:30:54,813 --> 00:30:57,357
No, shockingly. I actually
met this one in real life.
665
00:30:57,441 --> 00:31:01,528
Bobby! That's fantastic! You
think you're gonna see him again?
666
00:31:01,612 --> 00:31:04,531
No. He told me he prefers
group sex to one-on-one
667
00:31:04,615 --> 00:31:07,409
because one-on-one is too intense
and makes it a whole thing.
668
00:31:07,492 --> 00:31:09,786
We went on one date, and we
had sex with three people.
669
00:31:09,870 --> 00:31:12,372
Gay relationships these
days are like a clown car.
670
00:31:12,456 --> 00:31:14,958
Oh, there's another one. Oh,
look, another one. Another one.
671
00:31:15,042 --> 00:31:17,503
It's ridiculous. Plus, I
don't think I'm his type.
672
00:31:17,586 --> 00:31:19,296
- How do you know?
- Because I know.
673
00:31:19,379 --> 00:31:23,133
He told me he likes country music, and
his favorite singer is Garth Brooks.
674
00:31:23,217 --> 00:31:25,657
What kind of gay man says his
favorite singer is Garth Brooks?
675
00:31:25,719 --> 00:31:26,720
That scares me.
676
00:31:26,803 --> 00:31:29,431
Plus, I see the guys he likes.
They all look exactly like him.
677
00:31:29,515 --> 00:31:34,645
They're all these big, hot,
straight-acting dudes. It's just not me.
678
00:31:34,728 --> 00:31:37,397
- Is he a top or bottom?
- What does that have to do with anything?
679
00:31:37,481 --> 00:31:39,441
Maybe you're both bottoms,
and that's the problem.
680
00:31:39,525 --> 00:31:41,485
I'm not always
the bottom, Edgar.
681
00:31:41,568 --> 00:31:42,986
Bottom dance!
682
00:31:43,070 --> 00:31:44,488
- [Edgar] Yeah!
- Ooh! Bottom dance!
683
00:31:44,571 --> 00:31:46,823
- Ooh-ooh. Uh-uh-uh.
- [Edgar vocalizing]
684
00:31:46,907 --> 00:31:47,991
[Bobby] Oh, my God.
685
00:31:48,075 --> 00:31:49,326
Gay sex was more fun
686
00:31:49,409 --> 00:31:51,411
when straight people were
uncomfortable with it.
687
00:31:51,495 --> 00:31:52,496
Fucking Schitt's Creek.
688
00:31:52,579 --> 00:31:55,666
Maybe we should stop talking about
anal sex in front of your children.
689
00:31:55,749 --> 00:31:57,669
- Oh, please. It's a natural part of life.
- Nah.
690
00:31:57,751 --> 00:31:59,631
Bobby! Ask him out again.
You never like anyone.
691
00:31:59,711 --> 00:32:01,547
He is so handsome.
692
00:32:01,630 --> 00:32:03,882
- So are you.
- Dude, you're a hottie.
693
00:32:03,966 --> 00:32:06,593
He is on another level.
He's like gay Tom Brady.
694
00:32:06,677 --> 00:32:08,679
When I'm with him, I feel
like friggin' Elphaba.
695
00:32:08,762 --> 00:32:10,430
I bet he's as intimidated by you
696
00:32:10,514 --> 00:32:11,699
- as you are by him.
- Oh, yeah.
697
00:32:11,723 --> 00:32:13,976
I'm telling you. He's
scared of being vulnerable.
698
00:32:14,059 --> 00:32:17,604
Gay guys from your generation still have
all these pent-up masculinity issues.
699
00:32:17,688 --> 00:32:19,128
You all need to get
over it already.
700
00:32:19,189 --> 00:32:21,191
Half the kids in Brian's
class are nonbinary.
701
00:32:21,275 --> 00:32:24,152
Well, it's not fair, Tina. We
had AIDS, and they had Glee.
702
00:32:24,236 --> 00:32:25,237
[Edgar chuckles]
703
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:29,658
But there is a work thing I was thinking
of maybe inviting him to. Maybe.
704
00:32:29,741 --> 00:32:33,579
What, a work thing? With lots
of celebrities and fancy people?
705
00:32:33,662 --> 00:32:35,414
Now, are you gonna
peacock to impress him?
706
00:32:35,497 --> 00:32:37,624
No! It's just a big
fundraiser for the museum,
707
00:32:37,708 --> 00:32:38,917
and I need to bring someone.
708
00:32:39,001 --> 00:32:40,294
Are you gonna be onstage?
709
00:32:40,377 --> 00:32:42,504
No, I am not going to
be "onstage." Okay?
710
00:32:42,588 --> 00:32:45,007
I am not some sort of
narcissistic sociopath.
711
00:32:45,090 --> 00:32:47,467
- Thank you, Doja Cat.
- [applause]
712
00:32:49,011 --> 00:32:53,640
Everyone, there are rock paintings in
Zimbabwe which depict homosexuality
713
00:32:53,724 --> 00:32:57,019
that date back to
the year 2,000 BCE.
714
00:32:57,102 --> 00:33:00,439
If only the men on those paintings
had lived another 4,000 years
715
00:33:00,522 --> 00:33:04,067
to see a character come out on
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
716
00:33:04,151 --> 00:33:05,151
[laughter]
717
00:33:05,194 --> 00:33:06,195
Who did your chin?
718
00:33:06,278 --> 00:33:07,571
Oh, no. It's real.
719
00:33:07,654 --> 00:33:10,574
[scoffs] Yeah. Mine too.
720
00:33:10,657 --> 00:33:12,743
Please continue
to give generously
721
00:33:12,826 --> 00:33:16,705
so the museum can tell all the stories
in between that have never been told.
722
00:33:16,788 --> 00:33:19,249
Thank you very much. Good night.
723
00:33:19,333 --> 00:33:20,834
[audience member]
Yeah, all right!
724
00:33:23,086 --> 00:33:25,440
Hey, I'm so sorry I left you
alone. Things got a little crazy.
725
00:33:25,464 --> 00:33:27,591
No. Hey, dude, you were awesome.
726
00:33:27,674 --> 00:33:29,092
I mean, I could never do that,
727
00:33:29,176 --> 00:33:31,136
speak in front of a bunch
of people like that.
728
00:33:31,220 --> 00:33:33,347
You move in some pretty
fancy circles. I had no idea.
729
00:33:33,430 --> 00:33:35,474
Trust me, it's not
always this glamorous.
730
00:33:35,557 --> 00:33:39,019
- Bobby, that was amazing, as always.
- Oh. Thank you, Charles.
731
00:33:39,102 --> 00:33:41,782
- Congrats on everything.
- Thank you so much. Thank you for coming.
732
00:33:41,813 --> 00:33:43,533
- Thank you.
- [person] Great speech, Bobby!
733
00:33:43,565 --> 00:33:45,108
Hi. Thank you so much.
734
00:33:45,192 --> 00:33:47,712
Hey, do you wanna see the museum?
I can give you a private tour.
735
00:33:47,736 --> 00:33:50,197
Oh, sure. I don't wanna drag
you away from all this though.
736
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,366
- Oh, no. It's fine. Here. That way.
- Yeah. Okay.
737
00:33:52,449 --> 00:33:57,204
{\an8}This is The Legends Pavilion.
Unsung heroes from LGBTQ+ history.
738
00:33:57,788 --> 00:34:00,207
Marsha P. Johnson
and Sylvia Rivera.
739
00:34:00,290 --> 00:34:03,794
Usually Stonewall is the only thing
straight people know about queer history.
740
00:34:03,877 --> 00:34:07,214
Truthfully, no one really knows who
threw the first bricks at Stonewall,
741
00:34:07,297 --> 00:34:09,550
but it was trans women of
color like Marsha and Sylvia
742
00:34:09,632 --> 00:34:12,135
who drove the earliest days of
the queer liberation movement.
743
00:34:12,844 --> 00:34:15,848
So what do you think? It's
pretty incredible, right?
744
00:34:15,931 --> 00:34:18,809
Yeah! I mean, it's
really impressive.
745
00:34:19,643 --> 00:34:20,643
But?
746
00:34:20,726 --> 00:34:22,521
But it's kinda depressing.
747
00:34:22,603 --> 00:34:24,648
It's depressing? It
made you depressed?
748
00:34:24,731 --> 00:34:28,193
It's AIDS and Nazis
and homophobia.
749
00:34:28,277 --> 00:34:30,987
All of it's just...
It's kind of a downer.
750
00:34:31,071 --> 00:34:34,283
Okay. Well, what were you
expecting? A Night at the Museum?
751
00:34:34,366 --> 00:34:35,951
Honestly, my family
loves that movie.
752
00:34:36,034 --> 00:34:38,370
- Oh, okay.
- Oh! What if you did something like that?
753
00:34:38,453 --> 00:34:41,831
Where the things, they come
alive, and they talk at you.
754
00:34:41,915 --> 00:34:44,585
"Where the things come
alive, and they talk at you"?
755
00:34:44,668 --> 00:34:46,253
- Yeah.
- Like, what exactly?
756
00:34:46,335 --> 00:34:48,672
Oh, oh. What if we had a bust
of Eleanor Roosevelt, right?
757
00:34:48,755 --> 00:34:50,108
- Yeah.
- And you get really close.
758
00:34:50,132 --> 00:34:53,177
And then all of a sudden, you
realize that's not Eleanor Roosevelt.
759
00:34:53,260 --> 00:34:55,262
- It's Amy Schumer.
- Oh.
760
00:34:55,344 --> 00:34:58,891
No! It's a museum. It's
not supposed to be fun.
761
00:34:58,974 --> 00:35:00,184
[footsteps approaching]
762
00:35:00,267 --> 00:35:03,562
Bobby! We've got Debra
Messing's agent on the Zoom.
763
00:35:03,645 --> 00:35:05,022
It's urgent.
764
00:35:05,105 --> 00:35:07,399
Debra's worried that she's on
the verge of being canceled.
765
00:35:07,482 --> 00:35:10,194
She said in an interview that
she was the Viola Davis of Tufts,
766
00:35:10,277 --> 00:35:12,571
and people are mad. [chuckles]
767
00:35:12,654 --> 00:35:15,866
Her agent is saying that she may give
a very big donation to the museum
768
00:35:15,949 --> 00:35:17,284
to save face.
769
00:35:17,367 --> 00:35:18,368
Who's Debra Messing?
770
00:35:18,452 --> 00:35:20,495
From Will & Grace. Oh, my God!
771
00:35:20,579 --> 00:35:21,699
Okay, wait. This is amazing.
772
00:35:21,747 --> 00:35:23,582
Stay here. I'll be
back in five minutes.
773
00:35:23,665 --> 00:35:24,958
- Sure. Yep.
- Okay.
774
00:36:05,624 --> 00:36:06,917
Aaron?
775
00:36:09,628 --> 00:36:10,712
Aaron?
776
00:36:11,255 --> 00:36:12,548
[cell phone chimes]
777
00:36:17,010 --> 00:36:18,345
What the fuck?
778
00:36:21,515 --> 00:36:23,016
Say hi to your brother.
779
00:36:23,100 --> 00:36:24,518
- Sup.
- Sup.
780
00:36:24,601 --> 00:36:27,121
[Mrs. Shepard] Jason's staying here
while he figures out where to live.
781
00:36:27,145 --> 00:36:28,939
Never get divorced, Aaron.
782
00:36:29,022 --> 00:36:30,062
[Jason] Never get married.
783
00:36:30,107 --> 00:36:33,652
Okay, Mom. I'm sorry, I'm at work,
so I should probably get going.
784
00:36:33,735 --> 00:36:35,988
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you.
785
00:36:36,071 --> 00:36:37,906
Do you remember Josh Evans?
786
00:36:37,990 --> 00:36:39,867
Yeah, Josh Evans
from high school.
787
00:36:39,950 --> 00:36:42,661
I actually ran into him and his
fiancée on the street the other day.
788
00:36:42,744 --> 00:36:45,581
Well, they just broke up.
And you wanna know why?
789
00:36:46,206 --> 00:36:47,499
Because he's gay.
790
00:36:49,126 --> 00:36:51,336
Josh Ev... No.
791
00:36:51,420 --> 00:36:54,798
I'm definitely embarrassed about
how long this has taken me,
792
00:36:54,882 --> 00:36:57,926
but I'm told people do
this in their own time.
793
00:36:58,010 --> 00:37:01,221
I've been empowered by my
hero, Colton Underwood,
794
00:37:01,305 --> 00:37:02,973
to say that, as it turns out,
795
00:37:03,807 --> 00:37:05,058
I'm gay.
796
00:37:06,310 --> 00:37:09,479
{\an8}And like this post if you
like that I'm gay. Peace.
797
00:37:10,439 --> 00:37:12,649
Holy shit.
798
00:37:13,567 --> 00:37:15,694
So we started going back
and forth for a while,
799
00:37:15,777 --> 00:37:18,906
and then at the end, I was just like,
"Why don't you call the album Lemonade?"
800
00:37:21,742 --> 00:37:24,620
[Wanda clears throat]
Bobby? When you're ready.
801
00:37:24,703 --> 00:37:26,955
- What?
- When you're ready.
802
00:37:27,039 --> 00:37:28,290
Sorry.
803
00:37:28,373 --> 00:37:32,711
Okay. People wonder if America is
ready for its first gay president.
804
00:37:32,794 --> 00:37:35,422
I say, we already had one.
805
00:37:35,506 --> 00:37:37,341
For the final wing,
please consider,
806
00:37:37,424 --> 00:37:40,802
The Lincoln Letters: A
Gay American Love Story.
807
00:37:40,886 --> 00:37:44,348
For years, historians have
speculated about Lincoln's sexuality.
808
00:37:44,431 --> 00:37:48,393
He shared a bed and exchanged intimate
letters with multiple men over the years,
809
00:37:48,477 --> 00:37:50,729
including Joshua Speed
and David Derickson.
810
00:37:50,812 --> 00:37:52,356
Okay, I'm stopping you.
811
00:37:52,439 --> 00:37:54,608
Bobby, it won't work. You
can't say Lincoln was gay.
812
00:37:54,691 --> 00:37:55,692
Why?
813
00:37:55,776 --> 00:37:58,057
There's no way to confirm those
were sexual relationships.
814
00:37:58,111 --> 00:37:59,738
There's no evidence of love.
815
00:37:59,821 --> 00:38:01,949
Of course there's no
evidence of love, Robert.
816
00:38:02,032 --> 00:38:04,868
We weren't allowed to exist. How
would we have enough evidence?
817
00:38:04,952 --> 00:38:07,412
Lincoln was married to a
woman and had four children.
818
00:38:07,496 --> 00:38:09,665
He was not gay, Bobby.
819
00:38:09,748 --> 00:38:10,832
He might have been bi.
820
00:38:10,916 --> 00:38:11,917
I am telling you!
821
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,629
We have let the world erase gay love
stories since the beginning of time.
822
00:38:15,712 --> 00:38:19,550
This is our chance to reject
the shame and restore the truth.
823
00:38:19,633 --> 00:38:21,513
And if we don't do this,
we're letting them win.
824
00:38:21,593 --> 00:38:23,595
We're letting the
heterosexual terrorists win.
825
00:38:23,679 --> 00:38:25,639
- The heterosexual terrorists?
- That's right.
826
00:38:25,722 --> 00:38:27,558
There are also gay terrorists.
827
00:38:27,641 --> 00:38:31,228
And there are bi terrorists, okay?
There are many bisexual terrorists.
828
00:38:31,311 --> 00:38:32,980
Okay, there are
trans terrorists too.
829
00:38:33,063 --> 00:38:34,064
Caitlyn Jenner.
830
00:38:34,857 --> 00:38:36,650
[Wanda] Enough, people.
Let's vote on it.
831
00:38:39,236 --> 00:38:40,237
Okay.
832
00:38:41,363 --> 00:38:45,242
Looks like we have two votes for
The Great Bisexuals of the World.
833
00:38:45,325 --> 00:38:46,702
Thank you, someone.
834
00:38:46,785 --> 00:38:48,954
And three votes for The
Lincoln Letters. Lincoln wins.
835
00:38:49,037 --> 00:38:51,331
Yes! Thank you. Thank you.
836
00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:56,086
- Debra Messing is in the building.
- [all gasp]
837
00:38:56,170 --> 00:38:58,130
[Robert] Yes, my girl.
838
00:38:58,755 --> 00:39:02,134
- Are you okay? Debra Messing.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
839
00:39:02,217 --> 00:39:04,761
Okay. Wish me luck.
840
00:39:06,471 --> 00:39:07,639
Ms. Messing.
841
00:39:07,723 --> 00:39:09,808
Oh, please call me Debra.
842
00:39:09,892 --> 00:39:13,812
Oh! I love this space.
How did you find it?
843
00:39:13,896 --> 00:39:16,565
Oh. God. How did we find it?
844
00:39:16,648 --> 00:39:19,151
Um… I don't know. I'm sorry.
845
00:39:19,234 --> 00:39:20,319
Are you okay, dear?
846
00:39:20,402 --> 00:39:22,779
- You seem a little flustered.
- [Bobby chuckles]
847
00:39:22,863 --> 00:39:25,991
Trust me. I know I'm Debra
Messing, but I'm only human.
848
00:39:26,074 --> 00:39:29,494
[laughs] Right. Um,
no, I'm fine. It's a...
849
00:39:29,578 --> 00:39:31,378
I'm so sorry. It's boy
problems. It's nothing.
850
00:39:31,413 --> 00:39:32,456
- It's stupid.
- Oh.
851
00:39:32,539 --> 00:39:34,166
Yeah. He was actually
here last night.
852
00:39:34,249 --> 00:39:36,960
He came to the fundraiser with me,
and then out of nowhere, he left.
853
00:39:37,044 --> 00:39:38,938
And I keep texting him and
he doesn't text me back.
854
00:39:38,962 --> 00:39:40,964
I don't know. It doesn't
matter. How are you?
855
00:39:41,048 --> 00:39:43,300
I am so excited for this tour.
856
00:39:43,383 --> 00:39:44,843
Can I just ask you
really quickly?
857
00:39:44,927 --> 00:39:47,513
Because I actually think you're
the perfect person to ask.
858
00:39:47,596 --> 00:39:48,680
What is going on?
859
00:39:48,764 --> 00:39:52,684
You know, is he not interested in
me or did something really come up?
860
00:39:52,768 --> 00:39:55,437
And why am I thinking about it so
much? That's what's so annoying.
861
00:39:55,521 --> 00:39:58,524
Because I'm never distracted
like this. This is not who I am.
862
00:39:58,607 --> 00:40:01,693
And it's like, what do I do now?
Do I text him again? Do I call him?
863
00:40:01,777 --> 00:40:04,613
Do I go to his house, you know?
864
00:40:04,696 --> 00:40:06,406
What do I do, Debra?
865
00:40:06,490 --> 00:40:09,409
You know, for the last 25 years,
866
00:40:09,493 --> 00:40:14,206
I have been listening to every
gay man on earth complain to me.
867
00:40:14,289 --> 00:40:18,085
I am not my character. I am not
every gay man's best friend.
868
00:40:18,168 --> 00:40:23,382
I am simply out in the world thinking
that I'm gonna get a tour of a museum,
869
00:40:23,465 --> 00:40:24,716
but no. No!
870
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,387
Did I waltz in here and
lay all my shit on you?
871
00:40:28,470 --> 00:40:30,639
Answer me! Answer me!
872
00:40:30,722 --> 00:40:31,825
- I'm just... I...
- Shut up!
873
00:40:31,849 --> 00:40:34,184
I am a divorced single mother.
874
00:40:34,268 --> 00:40:35,853
You wanna hear what that's like?
875
00:40:35,936 --> 00:40:37,980
I'm so sorry about this.
I'm terribly embarrassed.
876
00:40:38,063 --> 00:40:39,147
Please let me start again.
877
00:40:39,231 --> 00:40:41,358
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's going on in here?
878
00:40:41,441 --> 00:40:44,653
Do you have some personal shit
you wanna complain to me about?
879
00:40:45,237 --> 00:40:46,446
- No.
- Of course not.
880
00:40:46,530 --> 00:40:50,492
Because lesbians have
their shit together.
881
00:40:51,159 --> 00:40:53,120
I gotta go. I lose
my sitter in an hour.
882
00:40:53,203 --> 00:40:55,205
Ms. Messing, please
come back. I'm so sorry.
883
00:40:55,289 --> 00:40:58,750
I am not Grace.
884
00:40:58,834 --> 00:41:01,253
It is a character.
885
00:41:01,336 --> 00:41:03,964
I won an Emmy for it.
886
00:41:04,047 --> 00:41:07,968
I even beat Sarah Jessica
Parker! People forget!
887
00:41:08,051 --> 00:41:09,511
I'm shaving my head.
888
00:41:10,971 --> 00:41:12,598
What the fuck is
this doing here?
889
00:41:12,681 --> 00:41:14,683
[Angela] Bobby! What
is going on with you?
890
00:41:14,766 --> 00:41:16,602
Debra Messing just
told you to fuck off.
891
00:41:16,685 --> 00:41:18,395
The door's fucking locked.
892
00:41:18,478 --> 00:41:19,558
Oh, please let me help you.
893
00:41:19,605 --> 00:41:21,023
No. I want her.
894
00:41:25,027 --> 00:41:28,238
[singsongy] Don't call him.
895
00:41:28,322 --> 00:41:31,658
Don't call him. Don't call him.
896
00:41:31,742 --> 00:41:34,786
Do not call him.
897
00:41:34,870 --> 00:41:41,710
Just watch Ozark. Ozark.
Like a normal person.
898
00:41:46,465 --> 00:41:48,091
[line ringing]
899
00:41:50,427 --> 00:41:52,012
Hey, it's me.
900
00:41:52,638 --> 00:41:57,267
Um… Call me when you're
around. Okay, bye.
901
00:41:58,894 --> 00:41:59,895
[cell phone dings]
902
00:42:00,896 --> 00:42:01,897
[Aaron] Hey, what's up?
903
00:42:02,898 --> 00:42:03,899
What's up?
904
00:42:04,483 --> 00:42:07,819
Sorry I haven't replied.
I've just been busy.
905
00:42:08,362 --> 00:42:10,030
No worries. Same.
906
00:42:15,077 --> 00:42:17,120
You wanna hang out this weekend?
907
00:42:18,580 --> 00:42:19,790
[sighs]
908
00:42:24,628 --> 00:42:28,841
Hey, Bobby. I have to be honest. I
really like hanging out with you.
909
00:42:28,924 --> 00:42:31,426
You're so smart and funny,
910
00:42:31,510 --> 00:42:34,221
but I'm not sure I'm
the right match for you.
911
00:42:34,304 --> 00:42:36,557
I'm not sure I'm at your level.
912
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:39,643
Maybe your friends were right
when they said I was boring.
913
00:42:40,811 --> 00:42:42,062
Good luck with everything.
914
00:42:44,648 --> 00:42:45,774
Oh, come on.
915
00:42:54,324 --> 00:42:56,493
- [cell phone dings]
- [Aaron] Sure.
916
00:42:58,871 --> 00:43:00,706
[people chattering]
917
00:43:03,292 --> 00:43:06,336
Why are you sitting on the grass
and not this gigantic blanket?
918
00:43:08,422 --> 00:43:09,590
I like grass.
919
00:43:10,716 --> 00:43:13,010
Mmm. Cool. Cool.
920
00:43:19,725 --> 00:43:20,934
So, what's up?
921
00:43:21,768 --> 00:43:22,853
What's been going on?
922
00:43:22,936 --> 00:43:25,063
Oh, wait. Crazy story.
923
00:43:25,147 --> 00:43:27,858
Remember that guy I ran into?
That old buddy from high school?
924
00:43:27,941 --> 00:43:30,027
- Yeah.
- Yeah. He just came out.
925
00:43:30,110 --> 00:43:31,320
What?
926
00:43:31,403 --> 00:43:33,155
Broke up with his
fiancée. I had no idea.
927
00:43:33,906 --> 00:43:35,490
- Wow.
- Crazy.
928
00:43:35,574 --> 00:43:38,118
- Good for him.
- Yeah, it's cool.
929
00:43:40,746 --> 00:43:42,831
Very cool.
930
00:43:42,915 --> 00:43:45,083
[chattering]
931
00:43:47,211 --> 00:43:49,087
Okay, I'm sorry.
What is going on?
932
00:43:49,713 --> 00:43:50,714
What do you mean?
933
00:43:50,797 --> 00:43:52,966
The other night. Leaving
me at the museum like that.
934
00:43:53,050 --> 00:43:54,730
And then you didn't
return any of my texts.
935
00:43:54,801 --> 00:43:57,137
Well, you texted me 15
times. It was a little scary.
936
00:43:57,221 --> 00:43:59,681
Okay, I need you to
be honest with me.
937
00:43:59,765 --> 00:44:01,183
You're not attracted
to me, right?
938
00:44:01,266 --> 00:44:03,727
It's okay. I can handle
it. I won't be insulted.
939
00:44:03,810 --> 00:44:06,980
I just need to know. Just be honest
with me so I don't waste my time.
940
00:44:07,064 --> 00:44:08,565
I'm not your type, right?
941
00:44:08,649 --> 00:44:11,235
Bobby, it's not that. You
are a very attractive guy.
942
00:44:11,318 --> 00:44:12,736
Okay. Well, thanks.
943
00:44:12,819 --> 00:44:15,447
So why are you being so
weird and passive-aggressive?
944
00:44:15,531 --> 00:44:17,115
Look, you're being
very loud, actually.
945
00:44:17,199 --> 00:44:19,201
- You like dumb guys.
- What?
946
00:44:19,284 --> 00:44:21,286
Yeah, you heard me.
I see what you like.
947
00:44:21,370 --> 00:44:26,625
You like these big, fuckin'
bro-ey meathead idiots.
948
00:44:26,708 --> 00:44:29,628
Is that what you
like, Aaron? Yeah?
949
00:44:29,711 --> 00:44:31,964
- You wanna play with the big boys, huh?
- Yep.
950
00:44:32,047 --> 00:44:34,967
[Bobby] Look, Aaron, they're
fighting. You wanna be in the fight?
951
00:44:35,050 --> 00:44:37,594
You wanna be back in the old
high school locker room, huh?
952
00:44:37,678 --> 00:44:42,933
With your hockey friends stealing a
glance at fucking Josh, right? Huh?
953
00:44:43,016 --> 00:44:44,309
- Yeah, you like that?
- Hey.
954
00:44:44,393 --> 00:44:45,811
- Yeah, I can be tough.
- Wow.
955
00:44:45,894 --> 00:44:47,312
I can be tough like your boys.
956
00:44:47,396 --> 00:44:49,523
- That's what you like?
- You stop that. Listen to me.
957
00:44:49,606 --> 00:44:50,750
Now you're on my blanket, bro.
958
00:44:50,774 --> 00:44:52,460
- Get on my blanket.
- Now I'm on your blanket.
959
00:44:52,484 --> 00:44:53,944
Now you wanna get
on my big blanket?
960
00:44:54,027 --> 00:44:55,612
Now you wanna be
on my big blanket?
961
00:44:55,696 --> 00:44:57,865
- I can be aggressive.
- I can be way more aggressive.
962
00:44:57,948 --> 00:44:59,616
- Yeah?
- Yeah? Yeah.
963
00:44:59,700 --> 00:45:01,535
Hey, hey, hey! What's going on?
964
00:45:01,618 --> 00:45:02,744
I'm all over your blanket.
965
00:45:02,828 --> 00:45:03,829
Boys? Oh.
966
00:45:05,873 --> 00:45:07,708
- Okay, man.
- My bad.
967
00:45:07,791 --> 00:45:08,834
I would've helped him.
968
00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:09,918
My place is near here.
969
00:45:10,002 --> 00:45:11,753
- Let's go the fuck home.
- Yeah.
970
00:45:12,796 --> 00:45:14,756
Ow! Ow! Oh, ow!
971
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:18,343
["When I Fall In Love" playing]
972
00:45:18,427 --> 00:45:19,720
- Whoa, whoa!
- Yeah.
973
00:45:20,596 --> 00:45:21,597
Yeah.
974
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,224
♪ It will be forever ♪
975
00:45:24,308 --> 00:45:27,311
[Bobby] Yeah. I like
that. I like that.
976
00:45:27,394 --> 00:45:28,580
- You like that?
- I like that.
977
00:45:28,604 --> 00:45:30,898
You're gonna take that?
Yeah, that's what you like.
978
00:45:30,981 --> 00:45:32,649
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Dirty.
979
00:45:32,733 --> 00:45:33,734
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, God.
980
00:45:33,817 --> 00:45:35,986
[groaning]
981
00:45:36,069 --> 00:45:37,571
[heavy breathing]
982
00:45:37,654 --> 00:45:38,739
Oh, yeah.
983
00:45:38,822 --> 00:45:42,284
♪ In a restless
world like this is ♪
984
00:45:42,367 --> 00:45:43,827
- Oh, yeah? Yeah?
- Oh, yeah.
985
00:45:44,494 --> 00:45:45,495
Uh-huh.
986
00:45:45,579 --> 00:45:49,666
- You like that? Yes, okay.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
987
00:45:49,750 --> 00:45:51,168
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
988
00:45:51,251 --> 00:45:52,711
- Yeah.
- [muffled grunting]
989
00:45:52,794 --> 00:45:55,339
- Okay. Good? Yeah?
- [muffled speech]
990
00:45:55,422 --> 00:45:58,467
- Ooh, yeah? You gonna tap out?
- [groans] Yeah, yeah, I'll tap out.
991
00:45:58,550 --> 00:46:00,511
- Yeah? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- I'll tap out.
992
00:46:00,594 --> 00:46:02,471
- Say, "Tap out." Tap out!
- I'll tap out!
993
00:46:02,554 --> 00:46:04,389
- Are you good? Are you good?
- I tapped out.
994
00:46:04,473 --> 00:46:05,974
- Okay, I'm sorry.
- I tapped out.
995
00:46:06,058 --> 00:46:08,894
♪ When I give my heart ♪
996
00:46:08,977 --> 00:46:10,979
Oh! Oh!
997
00:46:11,063 --> 00:46:13,190
- Great. Yeah, you like that?
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
998
00:46:13,273 --> 00:46:14,399
- You like that?
- Uh-huh.
999
00:46:14,483 --> 00:46:16,568
- You like that? You like that?
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
1000
00:46:16,652 --> 00:46:19,005
- You like that? Oh, yeah. You like that?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1001
00:46:19,029 --> 00:46:20,309
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1002
00:46:20,781 --> 00:46:22,157
- You like poppers?
- Yeah.
1003
00:46:22,241 --> 00:46:23,242
Okay.
1004
00:46:26,954 --> 00:46:27,955
Uh-huh.
1005
00:46:28,455 --> 00:46:31,124
♪ And the moment ♪
1006
00:46:31,625 --> 00:46:35,420
♪ I can feel that ♪
1007
00:46:36,129 --> 00:46:39,967
♪ You feel that way too ♪
1008
00:46:41,927 --> 00:46:46,598
♪ Is when I fall in love ♪
1009
00:46:46,682 --> 00:46:48,725
- [moaning]
- ♪ With you ♪
1010
00:46:55,482 --> 00:46:56,733
[exhales]
1011
00:46:57,860 --> 00:46:59,278
- [Bobby chuckles]
- [Aaron exhales]
1012
00:46:59,361 --> 00:47:01,572
- That was crazy.
- Yeah.
1013
00:47:02,406 --> 00:47:03,407
[sighs]
1014
00:47:04,157 --> 00:47:05,158
[sighs]
1015
00:47:05,742 --> 00:47:06,743
[sighs]
1016
00:47:07,744 --> 00:47:10,080
I like how your chest
goes in like that.
1017
00:47:10,789 --> 00:47:12,875
Oh. Thank you.
1018
00:47:13,542 --> 00:47:15,419
It's called a concave chest.
1019
00:47:16,086 --> 00:47:17,796
Well, I like it.
1020
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:20,174
It's like a tiny birdbath.
1021
00:47:21,425 --> 00:47:23,177
It's like a birdbath?
1022
00:47:24,136 --> 00:47:28,473
Great. I always wanted my chest to
look exactly like a tiny birdbath.
1023
00:47:28,557 --> 00:47:29,892
It's what every man wants.
1024
00:47:33,020 --> 00:47:34,563
I like how hairy you are.
1025
00:47:35,314 --> 00:47:37,065
You're like Austin Powers.
1026
00:47:37,149 --> 00:47:38,233
[scoffs]
1027
00:47:38,984 --> 00:47:41,695
- Thank you.
- [both chuckle]
1028
00:47:41,778 --> 00:47:43,614
God, I never thought
I would date someone
1029
00:47:43,697 --> 00:47:47,201
who gets more excited about
Austin Powers than Debra Messing.
1030
00:47:47,826 --> 00:47:49,328
Where did I go wrong?
1031
00:47:50,579 --> 00:47:52,289
Wait. Are we dating?
1032
00:47:55,584 --> 00:47:56,585
No.
1033
00:47:57,753 --> 00:48:01,298
We're not dating.
Please. I was joking.
1034
00:48:01,381 --> 00:48:04,092
You don't date people.
I don't date people.
1035
00:48:04,176 --> 00:48:05,677
We don't date people.
1036
00:48:07,095 --> 00:48:08,805
- Remember?
- I remember.
1037
00:48:12,142 --> 00:48:14,102
Ow! What are you doing?
1038
00:48:15,521 --> 00:48:18,065
[Aaron grunting]
1039
00:48:22,027 --> 00:48:23,278
[Bobby sighs]
1040
00:48:26,532 --> 00:48:30,744
So annoying how good a warm body
feels laying on another warm body.
1041
00:48:32,704 --> 00:48:33,914
[cell phone chimes]
1042
00:48:39,837 --> 00:48:40,838
Ugh.
1043
00:48:42,339 --> 00:48:46,218
- Hmm?
- I hate getting work emails on a Sunday.
1044
00:48:48,303 --> 00:48:49,972
Your job is really intense.
1045
00:48:50,055 --> 00:48:51,682
Yes, and I hate it.
1046
00:48:53,350 --> 00:48:57,521
It's fucking stressful and depressing
and so fucking boring. I...
1047
00:48:58,355 --> 00:48:59,690
I fucking hate it.
1048
00:49:02,025 --> 00:49:03,026
I'm sorry.
1049
00:49:03,861 --> 00:49:05,904
Was there something
else you wanted to do?
1050
00:49:08,323 --> 00:49:10,284
Bobby, I need to
tell you something.
1051
00:49:12,953 --> 00:49:14,371
[sighs]
1052
00:49:16,248 --> 00:49:17,791
When I was younger…
1053
00:49:21,712 --> 00:49:22,963
- What happened?
- I...
1054
00:49:25,507 --> 00:49:26,800
[sighs]
1055
00:49:26,884 --> 00:49:28,385
You can tell me.
1056
00:49:34,725 --> 00:49:37,686
When I was younger, I wanted
to make little chocolates.
1057
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:43,150
You wanted to make…
little chocolates?
1058
00:49:43,233 --> 00:49:46,528
Yes. I used to tell my parents that I
was going to the arcade at the mall,
1059
00:49:46,612 --> 00:49:48,655
but I would sneak off to Godiva.
1060
00:49:48,739 --> 00:49:50,782
I just loved how all the
chocolates were wrapped.
1061
00:49:50,866 --> 00:49:53,106
And I thought about how I
would design my own chocolates.
1062
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:56,747
How each little chocolate has its
own specific, unique design on it.
1063
00:49:56,830 --> 00:49:59,416
And that little design tells you
what they're gonna taste like.
1064
00:49:59,499 --> 00:50:04,004
So, I would draw my own
chocolates in a notepad.
1065
00:50:04,087 --> 00:50:05,714
It's all I thought about,
1066
00:50:05,797 --> 00:50:07,674
tiny little pretty chocolates.
1067
00:50:08,926 --> 00:50:09,927
That's good.
1068
00:50:10,844 --> 00:50:13,680
What was I gonna do with that,
though? What was I gonna be?
1069
00:50:15,307 --> 00:50:16,725
A chocolatier?
1070
00:50:16,808 --> 00:50:19,937
Bobby, I wasn't gonna be
a fucking chocolatier.
1071
00:50:20,020 --> 00:50:21,688
I don't know. Why not?
1072
00:50:22,272 --> 00:50:23,440
It seemed kinda faggy.
1073
00:50:23,524 --> 00:50:25,567
Oh, my God, Aaron.
1074
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:27,694
Faggy?
1075
00:50:27,778 --> 00:50:30,739
It's not faggy to spend your life
making pretty little chocolates.
1076
00:50:30,822 --> 00:50:33,659
- Bobby.
- Okay, fine. But so what?
1077
00:50:33,742 --> 00:50:36,119
So you're a big fag.
So am I. It's great.
1078
00:50:36,203 --> 00:50:38,247
Did you not realize
that a few minutes ago
1079
00:50:38,330 --> 00:50:41,333
when you were sticking your
enormous penis into my tiny anus?
1080
00:50:41,416 --> 00:50:44,169
Okay, yeah. It's kind of
cliché, don't you think?
1081
00:50:44,253 --> 00:50:46,672
I'd rather be a cliché
than be miserable.
1082
00:50:47,339 --> 00:50:52,010
Well, my 15-year-old brain in
1995, that is all I thought about.
1083
00:50:53,387 --> 00:50:56,139
[exhales] That was right around
the time that my brother caught me.
1084
00:50:56,223 --> 00:50:57,641
Hooking up with a guy?
1085
00:50:57,724 --> 00:50:59,977
No. No, I was making
little chocolates.
1086
00:51:00,060 --> 00:51:01,061
Oh.
1087
00:51:01,645 --> 00:51:03,480
I lied, and I said that I was…
1088
00:51:04,940 --> 00:51:08,527
making chocolates for this girl
that I had a crush on at school.
1089
00:51:09,319 --> 00:51:12,155
I'm sorry. This is the
cutest thing I've ever heard.
1090
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:14,658
I guess you just have
this big, exciting life.
1091
00:51:15,284 --> 00:51:18,579
I just didn't want you to think
that I was some boring schlub.
1092
00:51:19,788 --> 00:51:21,540
I don't think you're boring.
1093
00:51:21,623 --> 00:51:23,333
Your friend said I was boring.
1094
00:51:23,959 --> 00:51:26,628
Oh, my God. You
were mad about that?
1095
00:51:26,712 --> 00:51:29,173
I was joking. I'm sorry.
1096
00:51:29,256 --> 00:51:30,424
But I don't understand.
1097
00:51:30,507 --> 00:51:33,135
You don't have to be stuck in
that miserable office all day.
1098
00:51:33,218 --> 00:51:37,639
You could be out in the world, I
don't know, making fudge. You know?
1099
00:51:37,723 --> 00:51:40,225
You're like a Keebler elf
with internalized homophobia.
1100
00:51:40,309 --> 00:51:43,145
You have to do this. You
have to become a chocolatier.
1101
00:51:43,228 --> 00:51:44,229
Oh, Bobby.
1102
00:51:44,313 --> 00:51:46,481
You have to become a
chocolatier. I'm telling you.
1103
00:51:46,565 --> 00:51:48,942
You make that sound so easy.
1104
00:51:49,026 --> 00:51:50,611
Well, no. It's not easy.
1105
00:51:50,694 --> 00:51:52,404
Nothing's easy.
1106
00:51:53,030 --> 00:51:55,616
My God. You know what I
have to do this weekend?
1107
00:51:55,699 --> 00:51:59,369
I have to drag my concave chest up to
Provincetown and beg donors for money.
1108
00:51:59,453 --> 00:52:02,873
I need five million dollars
or else the museum can't open.
1109
00:52:02,956 --> 00:52:05,083
And it's Pride up there,
1110
00:52:05,167 --> 00:52:08,253
so the museum has to have a float in
the parade, and that's a whole thing.
1111
00:52:08,337 --> 00:52:12,007
I'm telling you, it is not
easy. It is never easy.
1112
00:52:15,010 --> 00:52:16,053
But it's worth it.
1113
00:52:17,888 --> 00:52:19,264
Hey, maybe I can come.
1114
00:52:20,933 --> 00:52:22,017
To where?
1115
00:52:23,352 --> 00:52:24,353
Provincetown?
1116
00:52:25,646 --> 00:52:26,647
Oh.
1117
00:52:28,065 --> 00:52:29,441
Yeah.
1118
00:52:30,609 --> 00:52:32,402
[both sigh]
1119
00:52:36,782 --> 00:52:39,743
Well, come, come, come.
Welcome. I'm Louis.
1120
00:52:39,826 --> 00:52:41,453
Let me show you your bedroom.
1121
00:52:41,537 --> 00:52:44,831
Thank you. Oh, my God.
This house is so beautiful.
1122
00:52:44,915 --> 00:52:46,142
How long have you
had this place?
1123
00:52:46,166 --> 00:52:49,253
I've been coming up
to P-town since 1976.
1124
00:52:49,336 --> 00:52:50,337
Wow.
1125
00:52:50,420 --> 00:52:51,547
Who are all these guys?
1126
00:52:51,630 --> 00:52:53,841
Well, actually, that's me.
1127
00:52:53,924 --> 00:52:57,427
Oh, my God. Louis,
you were so hot.
1128
00:52:57,511 --> 00:52:58,762
Yeah, I know.
1129
00:52:58,846 --> 00:53:01,014
Wow. Do any of these guys
still come up here too?
1130
00:53:01,765 --> 00:53:03,058
[Louis exhales] No.
1131
00:53:03,141 --> 00:53:06,395
By 1996, four of the
seven of them were gone.
1132
00:53:06,478 --> 00:53:09,439
I got this place in 1999
when I realized that somehow,
1133
00:53:09,523 --> 00:53:11,525
miraculously, I
was gonna survive.
1134
00:53:11,608 --> 00:53:12,818
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1135
00:53:12,901 --> 00:53:15,153
So, tell me. What are
you boys up to today?
1136
00:53:15,237 --> 00:53:19,074
Well, I have a work thing this
afternoon, so I don't really know.
1137
00:53:19,157 --> 00:53:20,993
- Probably just lay low.
- Lay low?
1138
00:53:21,076 --> 00:53:24,079
You're in P-town.
Go out. Have fun.
1139
00:53:24,162 --> 00:53:26,081
You'll be dead soon
enough. Come on.
1140
00:53:26,164 --> 00:53:27,764
- Let me show you your room.
- All right.
1141
00:53:27,791 --> 00:53:29,293
Here's your bedroom.
1142
00:53:29,793 --> 00:53:32,087
Oh, my God!
1143
00:53:32,171 --> 00:53:33,630
[Aaron] Oh, wow.
1144
00:53:33,714 --> 00:53:36,216
- And if you wanna fuck, you let me know.
- [Aaron] Oh.
1145
00:53:37,509 --> 00:53:38,677
- Mmm.
- Yeah.
1146
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:40,762
[shower running]
1147
00:53:40,846 --> 00:53:42,681
Hey, I need to grab something.
1148
00:53:42,764 --> 00:53:44,349
- Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
- Bobby.
1149
00:53:44,433 --> 00:53:47,313
- Why are you walking in here?
- Sorry. I thought you were in the shower.
1150
00:53:47,394 --> 00:53:50,063
It's not steroids.
It's just testosterone.
1151
00:53:50,147 --> 00:53:52,941
Isn't that dangerous for your
liver and balls and stuff?
1152
00:53:53,025 --> 00:53:55,402
- [water stops]
- No. Half the guys I know do this stuff.
1153
00:53:55,485 --> 00:53:57,821
Yeah, but half the guys you
know are roided-out morons.
1154
00:53:57,905 --> 00:54:01,450
Yeah, that doesn't seem to bother you
when you're obsessing over my body.
1155
00:54:06,872 --> 00:54:09,833
Okay, that's fair.
I'm gonna shower.
1156
00:54:09,917 --> 00:54:12,669
- [shower running]
- ["She's Like The Wind" playing]
1157
00:54:12,753 --> 00:54:14,421
♪ She's taken my heart ♪
1158
00:54:14,505 --> 00:54:18,842
♪ But she doesn't
know what she's done ♪
1159
00:54:19,718 --> 00:54:22,679
[Bobby] ♪ I feel her
breath in my face ♪
1160
00:54:23,514 --> 00:54:26,308
♪ Her body close to me ♪
1161
00:54:27,601 --> 00:54:30,854
♪ Can't look in her eyes ♪
1162
00:54:31,730 --> 00:54:35,359
♪ She's out of my league ♪
1163
00:54:36,276 --> 00:54:41,073
♪ Just a fool to believe I
have everything she needs ♪
1164
00:54:42,574 --> 00:54:45,035
♪ She's like the wind ♪
1165
00:54:46,537 --> 00:54:47,955
You have a really nice voice.
1166
00:54:48,038 --> 00:54:49,039
What?
1167
00:54:49,122 --> 00:54:50,791
I heard you singing
in the shower.
1168
00:54:50,874 --> 00:54:52,251
Well, that's mortifying.
1169
00:54:53,252 --> 00:54:56,588
Wait, so you're asking this guy to
donate the remaining five million?
1170
00:54:56,672 --> 00:54:59,550
No. If I can get one million
out of him, I'll take it.
1171
00:54:59,633 --> 00:55:01,969
You can't scare these people
off by seeming too needy.
1172
00:55:02,052 --> 00:55:03,512
Kind of like with you.
1173
00:55:04,847 --> 00:55:06,348
Who's Lawrence Grape?
1174
00:55:06,431 --> 00:55:09,309
Larry Grape. Biggest gay
TV producer on the planet.
1175
00:55:09,393 --> 00:55:13,272
He's made all this groundbreaking
queer content. He's major.
1176
00:55:13,355 --> 00:55:16,733
Mr. Grape, I'm thinking the final
wing should be about Lincoln.
1177
00:55:16,817 --> 00:55:18,402
Love that. Love Lincoln.
1178
00:55:18,485 --> 00:55:19,611
Very few people know this,
1179
00:55:19,695 --> 00:55:22,739
but our most popular president
was also our first gay president.
1180
00:55:22,823 --> 00:55:26,368
Sorry. This is a Lincoln museum?
Is this a Lincoln museum, sir?
1181
00:55:26,451 --> 00:55:29,454
This is actually an
LGBTQ history museum.
1182
00:55:29,538 --> 00:55:31,975
It's the first of its kind on a
national level. We actually...
1183
00:55:31,999 --> 00:55:33,250
That fucking bush!
1184
00:55:33,333 --> 00:55:34,334
[chuckling] Come on.
1185
00:55:34,418 --> 00:55:37,045
My neighbors planted that
bush, and it blocks my view.
1186
00:55:37,129 --> 00:55:38,630
- Can you believe that?
- [dog barks]
1187
00:55:38,714 --> 00:55:40,234
[Lawrence] Let's go
take care of this.
1188
00:55:41,008 --> 00:55:43,820
- [neighbor] Again with this?
- [Lawrence] This is my property, Maurice.
1189
00:55:43,844 --> 00:55:45,280
[neighbor] This is
a shared borderline!
1190
00:55:45,304 --> 00:55:47,464
This is a fucking disaster.
He won't even listen to me.
1191
00:55:47,514 --> 00:55:49,641
He's too busy getting his
rottweiler ready for Pride.
1192
00:55:49,725 --> 00:55:51,518
Okay. From my
experience at my job,
1193
00:55:51,602 --> 00:55:53,687
weird rich people just
want to be listened to.
1194
00:55:53,770 --> 00:55:55,272
Ask him what he's interested in.
1195
00:55:55,355 --> 00:55:58,168
But I don't care what he's interested
in. I'm here to pitch him my idea.
1196
00:55:58,192 --> 00:56:01,403
Well, then pretend like you're
interested. Just do a listening face.
1197
00:56:01,987 --> 00:56:03,530
- Do a listening face?
- Yeah.
1198
00:56:04,323 --> 00:56:07,159
- Mmm. Yeah.
- I can't.
1199
00:56:07,242 --> 00:56:08,577
Yes. Come on. Go.
1200
00:56:09,161 --> 00:56:10,162
Okay.
1201
00:56:11,955 --> 00:56:13,332
- Yes. Yes.
- Really?
1202
00:56:13,415 --> 00:56:14,666
That looked like I'm listening?
1203
00:56:14,750 --> 00:56:15,584
- Totally.
- [shouting]
1204
00:56:15,667 --> 00:56:18,378
- …on my property!
- It's an indigenous bush!
1205
00:56:18,462 --> 00:56:20,088
- Are you going to Pride?
- Of course.
1206
00:56:20,172 --> 00:56:21,649
- See you there. Love you.
- I love you too.
1207
00:56:21,673 --> 00:56:23,735
[sighs] All right. Listening.
I'll try it. I'll try it.
1208
00:56:23,759 --> 00:56:25,511
Sorry. I have to
get going, boys.
1209
00:56:25,594 --> 00:56:28,347
Oh, Mr. Grape, let
me ask you something.
1210
00:56:28,430 --> 00:56:34,478
Um, what would you like
to see in the museum?
1211
00:56:35,812 --> 00:56:40,651
A haunted house of gay trauma.
1212
00:56:40,734 --> 00:56:42,402
A haunted house of gay trauma?
1213
00:56:42,486 --> 00:56:45,405
Yeah. It's a cart on a
track, and there's...
1214
00:56:45,489 --> 00:56:46,823
I'm sorry. This is a ride?
1215
00:56:46,907 --> 00:56:50,702
Yeah, it's a fucking ride. So
you think a ride is too much?
1216
00:56:51,703 --> 00:56:53,789
Um, no. No.
1217
00:56:53,872 --> 00:56:56,959
No, no, no, no. It's
perfect. Please, keep going.
1218
00:56:57,042 --> 00:57:00,087
Okay. We find ourselves
in an intimate little bar
1219
00:57:00,170 --> 00:57:04,258
with some young,
hot animatronic men.
1220
00:57:04,341 --> 00:57:06,677
The men turn to dance with
each other when suddenly, boom!
1221
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:09,429
A cop car smashes
through the wall.
1222
00:57:09,513 --> 00:57:11,431
Police storm out of the cars.
1223
00:57:11,515 --> 00:57:14,184
There's sirens and batons
and voices screaming.
1224
00:57:14,268 --> 00:57:16,388
And suddenly, the car takes
off like a roller coaster,
1225
00:57:16,436 --> 00:57:18,564
and there's blood everywhere,
1226
00:57:18,647 --> 00:57:21,775
and a monster with Reagan's face on it
is chasing you down the hallway saying,
1227
00:57:21,859 --> 00:57:24,278
"Shining city on a hill.
Shining city on a hill."
1228
00:57:24,361 --> 00:57:26,405
And then we shoot
out into the light.
1229
00:57:26,488 --> 00:57:28,323
And it ends on something happy,
1230
00:57:28,407 --> 00:57:31,827
like Lil Nas X working
out with pink dumbbells.
1231
00:57:32,870 --> 00:57:33,871
Wow.
1232
00:57:35,622 --> 00:57:37,040
A gay trauma coaster.
1233
00:57:37,124 --> 00:57:39,334
I mean, it's... it's
very provocative.
1234
00:57:39,418 --> 00:57:42,629
I just don't think we can afford
that sort of thing, unfortunately.
1235
00:57:42,713 --> 00:57:45,132
Right. Well, okay, it was
so lovely meeting you g...
1236
00:57:45,215 --> 00:57:47,092
Mr. Grape. Mr. Grape.
1237
00:57:47,176 --> 00:57:49,529
- I'm not a creative guy. I'm a money guy.
- No, no, no, no.
1238
00:57:49,553 --> 00:57:50,554
No, no.
1239
00:57:50,637 --> 00:57:52,806
I can tell you, to
accomplish what you want,
1240
00:57:52,890 --> 00:57:54,641
we need more than just
a little donation.
1241
00:57:54,725 --> 00:57:55,726
No, Aaron...
1242
00:57:55,809 --> 00:57:58,020
We need five million dollars.
1243
00:57:58,103 --> 00:57:59,903
And you won't just get
the gay trauma coaster.
1244
00:57:59,980 --> 00:58:02,316
You get the Lincoln
exhibit. You get all of it.
1245
00:58:02,399 --> 00:58:08,363
You rewrite history for
an entire LGBTQ community.
1246
00:58:08,447 --> 00:58:13,035
You're a storyteller, Lawrence,
and this is the ultimate story.
1247
00:58:16,038 --> 00:58:18,165
You already pushed the
museum opening back twice.
1248
00:58:18,248 --> 00:58:19,416
Is it really happening?
1249
00:58:19,499 --> 00:58:24,213
Yes! It's definitely happening. I promise.
My entire life has led up to this.
1250
00:58:24,296 --> 00:58:29,134
Right, well, five million dollars is
nothing to rewrite history. I'm in!
1251
00:58:30,177 --> 00:58:31,470
- Wait, really?
- Yes! Yes!
1252
00:58:31,553 --> 00:58:33,114
[Bobby] Oh, my God!
Mr. Grape, thank you!
1253
00:58:33,138 --> 00:58:36,183
Of course. Congratulations
on my money.
1254
00:58:36,266 --> 00:58:38,018
- Happy Pride.
- Happy Pride!
1255
00:58:38,101 --> 00:58:42,231
Now I have to go to a Pride party, and
you're both too old to be in the pool.
1256
00:58:42,314 --> 00:58:43,315
Please leave.
1257
00:58:45,943 --> 00:58:48,403
Aaron! Oh, my God!
1258
00:58:49,071 --> 00:58:52,282
You're a genius! "You're a storyteller"?
Where did that even come from?
1259
00:58:52,366 --> 00:58:54,660
I told you I'm good at
talking to weird rich folk.
1260
00:58:54,743 --> 00:58:56,161
I could tell he
had money to spend.
1261
00:58:56,245 --> 00:58:58,914
[chuckles] I don't know
what to say. Thank you.
1262
00:58:59,498 --> 00:59:00,624
Sure.
1263
00:59:00,707 --> 00:59:02,376
Oh, my God.
1264
00:59:02,459 --> 00:59:05,259
Shit! I've gotta go to the parade.
I've gotta get on that stupid float.
1265
00:59:05,295 --> 00:59:06,296
I'll see you after.
1266
00:59:06,380 --> 00:59:07,380
- Okay.
- Okay.
1267
00:59:08,131 --> 00:59:09,216
Thank you.
1268
00:59:17,057 --> 00:59:18,057
Okay.
1269
00:59:20,602 --> 00:59:22,646
I kissed you! Are we
kissing each other now?
1270
00:59:22,729 --> 00:59:23,939
I don't know! Bye!
1271
00:59:26,984 --> 00:59:29,152
{\an8}[no audible dialogue]
1272
00:59:35,617 --> 00:59:36,618
Bobby!
1273
00:59:38,871 --> 00:59:43,208
[no audible dialogue]
1274
01:00:11,820 --> 01:00:12,821
You're gorgeous.
1275
01:00:13,947 --> 01:00:15,616
What? You are.
1276
01:00:18,869 --> 01:00:21,246
I still can't believe what
you did with Lawrence today.
1277
01:00:21,330 --> 01:00:23,498
That was amazing!
1278
01:00:23,582 --> 01:00:25,125
Five million dollars!
1279
01:00:25,709 --> 01:00:26,835
It's not that big a deal.
1280
01:00:26,919 --> 01:00:29,254
It is a huge deal.
Are you kidding me?
1281
01:00:30,631 --> 01:00:34,593
I always have to do everything for myself.
No one ever does shit like that for me.
1282
01:00:34,676 --> 01:00:37,846
You know, what you did for
me, you could do for yourself.
1283
01:00:37,930 --> 01:00:39,848
Open a chocolate
shop. I don't know.
1284
01:00:39,932 --> 01:00:42,476
I'm not opening
a chocolate shop.
1285
01:00:42,559 --> 01:00:45,020
I'm not as confident as you.
1286
01:00:45,103 --> 01:00:47,272
Oh, please. I'm
not that confident.
1287
01:00:47,356 --> 01:00:51,568
You are the most confident
person I know, like, to a fault.
1288
01:00:51,652 --> 01:00:54,363
It's actually...
It's kind of scary.
1289
01:00:56,365 --> 01:00:58,575
Trust me. It's all an act.
1290
01:00:59,159 --> 01:01:02,996
Confidence is just a choice you
make. It's a decision like any other.
1291
01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:04,831
Usually born out of necessity.
1292
01:01:06,416 --> 01:01:08,210
You think I have a
good singing voice now?
1293
01:01:08,293 --> 01:01:11,505
You should have heard me when
I was a kid. I was even better.
1294
01:01:11,588 --> 01:01:12,881
Had American Idol existed then,
1295
01:01:12,965 --> 01:01:15,968
I would've been the gay guy with an
amazing voice who comes in second.
1296
01:01:17,803 --> 01:01:20,889
And then let's see.
Then I went to college.
1297
01:01:20,973 --> 01:01:23,725
And my musical theater teacher,
1298
01:01:23,809 --> 01:01:28,480
he told me that I had a "gay
walk" and a "flamboyant quality"
1299
01:01:28,564 --> 01:01:31,441
which would "limit my options."
1300
01:01:32,860 --> 01:01:34,236
And then for grad school,
1301
01:01:34,319 --> 01:01:36,679
I went to one of the best
journalism schools in the country.
1302
01:01:36,738 --> 01:01:41,201
And my teacher there, this old, closeted
queen who was married to a woman,
1303
01:01:41,285 --> 01:01:44,746
pulled me aside and thought
he was doing me a favor
1304
01:01:44,830 --> 01:01:46,630
when he told me that I
should stick to writing
1305
01:01:46,707 --> 01:01:49,585
because my voice sounded too
gay to do the news on TV.
1306
01:01:50,169 --> 01:01:51,336
True story.
1307
01:01:51,879 --> 01:01:54,965
And then I did stick to writing
and my gay history books.
1308
01:01:55,048 --> 01:01:58,343
Every single publisher,
every single one,
1309
01:01:58,427 --> 01:02:00,846
told me there wasn't enough
of an audience for it.
1310
01:02:01,513 --> 01:02:04,183
I was always too gay,
or I was too niche.
1311
01:02:04,266 --> 01:02:07,060
Or, you know, I made
people uncomfortable.
1312
01:02:07,769 --> 01:02:11,023
Even my dad, who was so
wonderful and supportive,
1313
01:02:11,106 --> 01:02:12,941
I remember him saying,
1314
01:02:13,025 --> 01:02:16,987
"You know, not everyone wants to
hear this gay stuff all the time."
1315
01:02:19,364 --> 01:02:20,908
But what was I supposed to do?
1316
01:02:20,991 --> 01:02:23,577
I mean, I'm a writer.
1317
01:02:23,660 --> 01:02:28,498
I wanted to write about my
life, my friends, my world.
1318
01:02:30,709 --> 01:02:33,545
And I'm telling you, enough
people tell you things like that,
1319
01:02:33,629 --> 01:02:36,256
no matter how confident you are,
1320
01:02:36,340 --> 01:02:38,342
when you're alone at night,
1321
01:02:38,425 --> 01:02:40,636
you start to think that
maybe they're right.
1322
01:02:45,015 --> 01:02:46,016
So…
1323
01:02:46,934 --> 01:02:49,811
I just put my head down.
1324
01:02:50,771 --> 01:02:53,232
And I just worked really hard.
1325
01:02:53,315 --> 01:02:56,818
And I just hoped that, somehow,
1326
01:02:56,902 --> 01:03:00,531
all these other
people were wrong.
1327
01:03:09,790 --> 01:03:10,999
And they were.
1328
01:03:16,296 --> 01:03:17,631
And they were.
1329
01:03:22,553 --> 01:03:23,554
[chuckles] I mean,
1330
01:03:23,637 --> 01:03:29,434
I spent years watching a wave of
mediocre straight men passing me by.
1331
01:03:29,518 --> 01:03:32,855
Men with half the talent,
who worked half as hard,
1332
01:03:32,938 --> 01:03:36,358
who didn't care as much as I did,
and they got twice as far. Always.
1333
01:03:36,441 --> 01:03:38,318
I mean, that's an
old story, but…
1334
01:03:38,986 --> 01:03:41,530
And, you know, the
world caught up with us.
1335
01:03:42,656 --> 01:03:44,491
Didn't catch up fast enough.
1336
01:03:46,743 --> 01:03:47,828
Didn't catch up fast enough
1337
01:03:47,911 --> 01:03:50,914
for my parents to see all these
great things happen for me.
1338
01:03:51,999 --> 01:03:53,250
Right?
1339
01:03:54,877 --> 01:03:57,254
Didn't catch up fast
enough for a lot of people.
1340
01:03:57,337 --> 01:03:58,755
That's the truth.
1341
01:04:00,674 --> 01:04:01,675
Let me tell you,
1342
01:04:02,301 --> 01:04:06,346
confidence is just knowing you're the
only person left you can count on.
1343
01:04:06,430 --> 01:04:07,806
That's all that is.
1344
01:04:09,349 --> 01:04:10,601
That's all.
1345
01:04:14,938 --> 01:04:15,981
Want another beer?
1346
01:04:18,734 --> 01:04:19,902
Sure.
1347
01:04:28,535 --> 01:04:30,245
Sorry. That was a lot.
1348
01:04:31,038 --> 01:04:32,581
Did that weird you out?
1349
01:04:32,664 --> 01:04:34,917
["Love And Affection" playing]
1350
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:38,337
- ♪ The friends that I want ♪
- ♪ So give me love ♪
1351
01:04:42,216 --> 01:04:46,011
♪ With friends, I still
feel so insecure ♪
1352
01:04:47,304 --> 01:04:50,807
♪ Little darling, I believe
You could help me a lot ♪
1353
01:04:52,434 --> 01:04:56,021
♪ Just take my hand And
lead me where you will ♪
1354
01:04:57,481 --> 01:04:59,107
- [sighs]
- ♪ No conversation ♪
1355
01:04:59,191 --> 01:05:01,485
I love this song!
1356
01:05:01,568 --> 01:05:02,569
♪ Well, give me love ♪
1357
01:05:02,653 --> 01:05:06,532
♪ Just make love
with affection ♪
1358
01:05:08,659 --> 01:05:09,952
That is a weird dance.
1359
01:05:10,536 --> 01:05:12,829
Excuse me. At least I dance.
1360
01:05:12,913 --> 01:05:13,789
I can dance.
1361
01:05:13,872 --> 01:05:15,958
I have never seen you
dance. Literally no one has.
1362
01:05:16,041 --> 01:05:17,042
- Really?
- No.
1363
01:05:17,125 --> 01:05:18,836
- Wanna see me dance?
- Yes.
1364
01:05:20,003 --> 01:05:21,255
Uh-oh.
1365
01:05:21,338 --> 01:05:23,632
♪ Once more with
feeling Give me love ♪
1366
01:05:23,715 --> 01:05:26,134
♪ Give me love Give me love ♪
1367
01:05:26,218 --> 01:05:29,596
[laughs] Very
good. There you go!
1368
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:30,806
Come on.
1369
01:05:34,810 --> 01:05:38,021
[saxophone solo playing]
1370
01:05:51,159 --> 01:05:52,327
I want you to fuck me.
1371
01:05:53,537 --> 01:05:54,746
Are you sure?
1372
01:05:56,331 --> 01:05:58,333
When was the last
time you did that?
1373
01:05:58,417 --> 01:05:59,751
It's been a while.
1374
01:06:01,003 --> 01:06:02,212
But I want you to.
1375
01:06:04,298 --> 01:06:05,299
- Okay.
- Good.
1376
01:06:05,382 --> 01:06:08,427
♪ Sing me another love song But
this time with a little dedication ♪
1377
01:06:08,510 --> 01:06:11,388
♪ Sing it, sing it,
sing it, sing it ♪
1378
01:06:11,972 --> 01:06:15,058
- ♪ You know that's what I like ♪
- ♪ Love ♪
1379
01:06:17,144 --> 01:06:19,563
♪ Once more with the feeling ♪
1380
01:06:19,646 --> 01:06:22,232
♪ Sing me another love
song But this time… ♪
1381
01:06:28,822 --> 01:06:31,283
[no audible dialogue]
1382
01:06:41,210 --> 01:06:42,961
[laughter]
1383
01:06:43,045 --> 01:06:45,672
[chattering]
1384
01:06:48,258 --> 01:06:50,427
[Aaron] All right. Here
you go. Merry Christmas.
1385
01:06:50,511 --> 01:06:51,905
[Bobby] Thank you.
Merry Christmas.
1386
01:06:51,929 --> 01:06:53,096
[Aaron] Okay. All right.
1387
01:06:53,722 --> 01:06:56,122
- [Bobby] Okay. Great. Fine.
- [Aaron] Okay. Ready? Let's go.
1388
01:06:57,643 --> 01:06:59,019
[Bobby] Okay, it's
gonna be good.
1389
01:06:59,102 --> 01:07:01,063
- It's all worth it. It's all worth it.
- Yeah.
1390
01:07:01,355 --> 01:07:02,981
[chattering]
1391
01:07:04,942 --> 01:07:06,401
What's up? Aaron!
1392
01:07:07,361 --> 01:07:09,196
- Wh... [chuckles]
- What's up, man?
1393
01:07:09,279 --> 01:07:11,990
I was wondering when I
was gonna run into you.
1394
01:07:12,074 --> 01:07:13,116
…seven of us.
1395
01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:15,285
Hey, congratulations
on everything.
1396
01:07:15,369 --> 01:07:17,246
Yeah, thank you. Yeah,
it's been crazy, man.
1397
01:07:17,329 --> 01:07:19,790
Cool. So, yeah, what
have you been doing?
1398
01:07:19,873 --> 01:07:22,167
[Henry] Louis was like,
"No, I need to see options."
1399
01:07:22,251 --> 01:07:24,169
And then he started
sending me Airbnb options.
1400
01:07:24,253 --> 01:07:25,671
- Am I boring you?
- No, no, no.
1401
01:07:25,754 --> 01:07:26,954
I'm like, "No, we deserve..."
1402
01:07:27,464 --> 01:07:29,716
[partygoer] Mistletoe, bitches!
1403
01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:32,928
- [chattering, laughing]
- ["Deck The Halls" playing]
1404
01:07:34,054 --> 01:07:36,139
- Bobby!
- What do you want?
1405
01:07:36,223 --> 01:07:37,391
[Aaron] I want you.
1406
01:07:37,474 --> 01:07:38,934
[Aaron grunting]
1407
01:07:39,017 --> 01:07:40,185
[Bobby] What's up?
1408
01:07:41,728 --> 01:07:44,398
Um, where do we stand on this?
1409
01:07:44,481 --> 01:07:46,024
Where do we stand on what?
1410
01:07:46,108 --> 01:07:47,484
- Momogany.
- Oh. [chuckles]
1411
01:07:48,277 --> 01:07:49,361
On "momogany"?
1412
01:07:49,444 --> 01:07:52,072
Are we open? What are we
into? What are we doing?
1413
01:07:52,155 --> 01:07:54,283
This is just like
When Harry Met Sally…
1414
01:07:54,366 --> 01:07:55,617
What do you mean?
1415
01:07:55,701 --> 01:07:58,662
That classic scene where Billy Crystal
runs to Meg Ryan on New Year's Eve
1416
01:07:58,745 --> 01:08:01,832
and asks her if she wants to
have an open relationship.
1417
01:08:02,958 --> 01:08:04,001
Bu... But...
1418
01:08:04,084 --> 01:08:08,088
I mean, I'm not into
monogamy, you know.
1419
01:08:08,172 --> 01:08:10,608
But I don't think we should be
constantly fucking other people.
1420
01:08:10,632 --> 01:08:11,717
No.
1421
01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:13,177
Why do you ask?
1422
01:08:16,095 --> 01:08:17,973
Oh.
1423
01:08:18,055 --> 01:08:21,225
- You wanna fuck your little hockey friend.
- No, I wanna fuck you.
1424
01:08:21,310 --> 01:08:22,394
Oh, that's nice.
1425
01:08:22,477 --> 01:08:24,688
But maybe he's there too.
1426
01:08:33,071 --> 01:08:34,072
He's very hot.
1427
01:08:36,158 --> 01:08:37,283
Hi, Joshua.
1428
01:08:37,367 --> 01:08:38,535
- Hey.
- Hey.
1429
01:08:40,578 --> 01:08:41,830
Hi.
1430
01:08:43,624 --> 01:08:44,707
I'm Steve.
1431
01:08:44,791 --> 01:08:46,502
- Hey, Steve.
- Hey, Steve.
1432
01:08:47,544 --> 01:08:48,795
Hi, Steve.
1433
01:08:48,879 --> 01:08:52,758
["Santa Baby" playing]
1434
01:08:57,136 --> 01:09:00,307
♪ Santa baby Just slip
a sable under the tree ♪
1435
01:09:00,390 --> 01:09:01,475
Hi, Steve.
1436
01:09:02,475 --> 01:09:03,477
[Aaron] Hey.
1437
01:09:04,060 --> 01:09:06,229
♪ Been an awful good girl ♪
1438
01:09:06,313 --> 01:09:10,817
♪ Santa baby So hurry
down the chimney tonight ♪
1439
01:09:10,901 --> 01:09:12,361
[Steve moans]
1440
01:09:15,322 --> 01:09:21,118
♪ Santa baby A '54
convertible too, light blue ♪
1441
01:09:21,620 --> 01:09:22,746
Sorry.
1442
01:09:23,622 --> 01:09:24,622
Hey.
1443
01:09:24,706 --> 01:09:27,376
♪ Santa baby So hurry
down the chimney… ♪
1444
01:09:27,459 --> 01:09:28,961
Pillow fight! [chuckles]
1445
01:09:30,962 --> 01:09:32,548
[Steve] Can I have a massage?
1446
01:09:32,631 --> 01:09:33,631
Like…
1447
01:09:33,715 --> 01:09:36,176
♪ Think of all the
fun I've missed ♪
1448
01:09:36,260 --> 01:09:37,553
[Bobby] Sure.
1449
01:09:37,636 --> 01:09:39,136
I got really tight hamstrings.
1450
01:09:39,220 --> 01:09:40,221
[Bobby] Cool.
1451
01:09:40,305 --> 01:09:42,140
[Steve] Oh, yeah.
Right there. [groans]
1452
01:09:42,224 --> 01:09:46,019
- ♪ Next year I could be just as good ♪
- [Aaron breathing heavily]
1453
01:09:46,103 --> 01:09:50,274
- ♪ If you check off my Christmas list ♪
- [heavy breathing continues]
1454
01:09:51,859 --> 01:09:53,861
Ignore me! I think I
left my scarf in here.
1455
01:09:53,944 --> 01:09:55,279
Henry!
1456
01:09:55,362 --> 01:09:56,363
Get out!
1457
01:09:56,446 --> 01:09:57,489
Bobby Leiber!
1458
01:09:57,573 --> 01:09:58,866
You made some friends.
1459
01:09:58,949 --> 01:10:00,576
- Hi, Henry!
- Hey, Steve.
1460
01:10:01,243 --> 01:10:02,244
Oh, sure.
1461
01:10:04,621 --> 01:10:06,707
I am so hungover.
1462
01:10:11,086 --> 01:10:12,713
- Thank you.
- [Aaron grunts]
1463
01:10:22,931 --> 01:10:27,144
So, I may have been wrong about the
whole hooking up with other people thing.
1464
01:10:28,854 --> 01:10:30,939
- Okay.
- I don't know. I just...
1465
01:10:32,316 --> 01:10:34,610
I want to be cool and free,
1466
01:10:34,693 --> 01:10:37,237
and I don't want to be lame,
1467
01:10:37,321 --> 01:10:41,200
but actually seeing you...
I don't know. It just...
1468
01:10:41,867 --> 01:10:43,952
It wasn't working for me.
1469
01:10:46,205 --> 01:10:47,998
Yeah, no, totally. I get it.
1470
01:10:49,291 --> 01:10:50,292
You sure?
1471
01:10:51,084 --> 01:10:52,252
Yeah.
1472
01:10:52,836 --> 01:10:53,837
Okay.
1473
01:10:56,131 --> 01:10:57,299
Thank you.
1474
01:10:59,384 --> 01:11:01,136
- [sighs]
- [cell phone chimes]
1475
01:11:01,220 --> 01:11:04,681
[grunts] Sorry, my mom
will not stop texting me.
1476
01:11:04,765 --> 01:11:06,433
When do your folks
get here again?
1477
01:11:06,517 --> 01:11:10,521
The 21st. She wants to do the whole
"magical Christmas in New York" thing.
1478
01:11:10,604 --> 01:11:14,107
They love sightseeing. I have
no idea what to do with them.
1479
01:11:14,191 --> 01:11:18,153
Well, if you need me, I'll be home
hate-watching Hallheart Christmas movies.
1480
01:11:21,740 --> 01:11:22,866
Hey,
1481
01:11:23,992 --> 01:11:27,913
do you maybe want to spend
Christmas with me and my folks?
1482
01:11:28,747 --> 01:11:29,748
Really?
1483
01:11:30,415 --> 01:11:32,376
Because, honestly, I
am totally fine alone.
1484
01:11:32,459 --> 01:11:33,961
That is very sweet
of you though.
1485
01:11:34,044 --> 01:11:35,712
No, you shouldn't be
alone. That's crazy.
1486
01:11:37,256 --> 01:11:38,799
Okay.
1487
01:11:38,882 --> 01:11:39,967
Yeah, that'll be fun.
1488
01:11:40,843 --> 01:11:43,178
And, honestly, no one knows
New York City better than me.
1489
01:11:43,262 --> 01:11:45,472
I will plan the ultimate
New York City Christmas,
1490
01:11:45,556 --> 01:11:47,391
as only a New York
City Jew could.
1491
01:11:47,474 --> 01:11:48,475
Amazing.
1492
01:11:48,559 --> 01:11:51,728
But just keep in mind, you know,
they're quiet folks from a small town.
1493
01:11:51,812 --> 01:11:55,065
Aaron, I understand. You and
I come from different worlds.
1494
01:11:55,148 --> 01:11:58,235
I'm from New York City,
you're from upstate New York.
1495
01:11:59,278 --> 01:12:00,988
I mean, they're sweet, but just…
1496
01:12:02,865 --> 01:12:05,826
If you could just
be, like, chill.
1497
01:12:05,909 --> 01:12:08,620
I promise I won't embarrass you.
1498
01:12:08,912 --> 01:12:10,849
And Mrs. Shepard, these are
the first holiday windows
1499
01:12:10,873 --> 01:12:12,958
to ever feature a
sex-positive Tiny Tim.
1500
01:12:13,041 --> 01:12:14,042
And it's so important.
1501
01:12:14,126 --> 01:12:16,726
We don't get queer characters in
the stories that we read as kids.
1502
01:12:16,795 --> 01:12:19,756
There's no gay Cinderella,
there's no lesbian Rapunzel,
1503
01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:21,842
there's no nonbinary
Ebenezer Scrooge.
1504
01:12:21,925 --> 01:12:23,677
Bobby, I think they get it.
1505
01:12:23,760 --> 01:12:25,012
Guys, we've gotta go.
1506
01:12:25,095 --> 01:12:27,222
I told Josh Evans
we would meet him
1507
01:12:27,306 --> 01:12:29,975
at the Hallheart Christmas
movie pop-up village.
1508
01:12:30,851 --> 01:12:32,811
- We're seeing Josh Evans?
- I didn't know.
1509
01:12:33,812 --> 01:12:34,813
Let's do it.
1510
01:12:35,397 --> 01:12:36,732
Are you a Hallheart fan?
1511
01:12:36,815 --> 01:12:38,275
I dabble.
1512
01:12:38,358 --> 01:12:40,944
["Jingle Bells" playing]
1513
01:12:41,028 --> 01:12:43,780
This is so beautiful.
1514
01:12:43,864 --> 01:12:44,948
I know, I love it.
1515
01:12:45,032 --> 01:12:46,116
There's Josh.
1516
01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:48,493
Wearing shorts in winter,
like a total psychopath.
1517
01:12:48,577 --> 01:12:49,817
[Mrs. Shepard] Oh, my goodness.
1518
01:12:49,870 --> 01:12:53,457
They have Rachael
Ray edible tinsel.
1519
01:12:54,583 --> 01:12:55,918
Josh! Evans!
1520
01:12:56,001 --> 01:12:58,587
Hey, fellas. How's Hallheart
Village treating ya?
1521
01:12:58,670 --> 01:12:59,671
[Bobby] Hey.
1522
01:12:59,755 --> 01:13:02,299
Did you see the gay movie that
they did? It was kinda dope.
1523
01:13:02,382 --> 01:13:05,886
Yeah, for years they ignored us, then
their audience got 10% less homophobic,
1524
01:13:05,969 --> 01:13:08,430
so they decided we're a new
demographic they can sell shit to.
1525
01:13:08,514 --> 01:13:09,765
I mean, look at these movies.
1526
01:13:09,848 --> 01:13:12,267
{\an8}Have Yourself A Heteronormative
Little Christmas,
1527
01:13:12,351 --> 01:13:14,770
{\an8}Miracle on 34th Street
But With One Gay Guy,
1528
01:13:14,853 --> 01:13:17,731
{\an8}Home Alone But With Sarah
Paulson. I mean, it's absurd.
1529
01:13:17,814 --> 01:13:19,358
- [Mrs. Shepard] Josh.
- Hey.
1530
01:13:19,441 --> 01:13:21,068
- Merry Christmas.
- Hey, man.
1531
01:13:21,151 --> 01:13:22,486
Come get skates.
1532
01:13:22,569 --> 01:13:27,074
I want to see you and Aaron back
out on the ice for old time's sake.
1533
01:13:27,157 --> 01:13:30,744
Bobby, Josh and Aaron played
hockey together in high school.
1534
01:13:30,827 --> 01:13:32,037
Oh, I know.
1535
01:13:32,120 --> 01:13:34,373
- Come on.
- Hey, man, what's going on? How you doing?
1536
01:13:34,456 --> 01:13:35,916
Dude, what is your problem?
1537
01:13:35,999 --> 01:13:37,000
What?
1538
01:13:37,084 --> 01:13:39,127
Could you just maybe
tone it down a notch?
1539
01:13:39,753 --> 01:13:41,004
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
1540
01:13:41,088 --> 01:13:42,728
We've been with my
parents for two hours,
1541
01:13:42,798 --> 01:13:45,634
and you've already talked about
transgender mannequins, HIV prevention,
1542
01:13:45,717 --> 01:13:48,554
and you pointed out the
route to the 1976 Dyke March.
1543
01:13:48,637 --> 01:13:52,099
They're having fun. They're
totally fine. What is your problem?
1544
01:13:52,182 --> 01:13:54,893
I'm nervous, okay? I've never
introduced them to anybody.
1545
01:13:54,977 --> 01:13:56,687
I just don't want them
to get weirded out.
1546
01:13:56,770 --> 01:13:59,690
I want them to have
a chill, normal time.
1547
01:13:59,773 --> 01:14:01,275
So now I'm not normal?
1548
01:14:01,358 --> 01:14:02,860
Bobby, you know what I mean.
1549
01:14:02,943 --> 01:14:05,237
I'm just being myself.
1550
01:14:05,320 --> 01:14:10,242
Okay, but maybe you could just be a
little less yourself for three hours.
1551
01:14:10,325 --> 01:14:11,994
I want them to like you.
1552
01:14:14,121 --> 01:14:17,040
Oh. Yeah. No, sure.
1553
01:14:17,124 --> 01:14:18,959
Of course, yeah. I'll just...
1554
01:14:19,543 --> 01:14:21,086
I'll just be quiet.
1555
01:14:22,212 --> 01:14:23,297
Okay, thank you.
1556
01:14:23,380 --> 01:14:25,924
Bobby! Oh, my God, hi!
1557
01:14:26,008 --> 01:14:27,092
Hi.
1558
01:14:27,176 --> 01:14:28,302
Jesus Christ.
1559
01:14:28,385 --> 01:14:30,804
We have to go anyway. We
have a dinner reservation.
1560
01:14:30,888 --> 01:14:31,889
Where's dinner again?
1561
01:14:31,972 --> 01:14:34,683
♪ I'm flying ♪
1562
01:14:35,934 --> 01:14:39,396
♪ Look at me, way up high
Suddenly, here am I ♪
1563
01:14:39,479 --> 01:14:43,358
♪ I'm flying ♪
1564
01:14:48,447 --> 01:14:50,741
Hey, Dad, how are the
Polar Bears doing?
1565
01:14:50,824 --> 01:14:52,534
That's the team Josh
and I used to play on.
1566
01:14:52,618 --> 01:14:54,203
They haven't won all year.
1567
01:14:54,286 --> 01:14:57,164
I told Josh they need
you boys to come back.
1568
01:14:57,247 --> 01:14:58,665
[laughter]
1569
01:14:59,541 --> 01:15:03,420
Bobby, you seem quiet tonight.
Is everything all right?
1570
01:15:03,504 --> 01:15:06,173
Oh, yeah. I'm
totally fine. Yeah.
1571
01:15:06,256 --> 01:15:09,009
You know, I'm sorry if
I spoke too much today.
1572
01:15:09,092 --> 01:15:10,677
I just... I think I got nervous.
1573
01:15:10,761 --> 01:15:12,930
This is actually more
like how I usually am.
1574
01:15:13,013 --> 01:15:17,100
I'm very quiet. Very quiet
and just weirdly normal.
1575
01:15:17,684 --> 01:15:21,230
Well, thanks again for
planning such a lovely day.
1576
01:15:21,313 --> 01:15:23,190
Oh, you're so
welcome, Mrs. Shepard.
1577
01:15:23,273 --> 01:15:26,151
You sound like one of my
students. Call me Anne.
1578
01:15:26,235 --> 01:15:27,778
Okay, I will.
1579
01:15:27,861 --> 01:15:31,323
Mom's been a second-grade
teacher for almost 40 years now.
1580
01:15:31,406 --> 01:15:34,952
Oh, my God, that's amazing. We need
good teachers, now more than ever.
1581
01:15:35,035 --> 01:15:37,287
Thank you. I agree.
1582
01:15:38,163 --> 01:15:42,376
And Aaron says you're working
at an American history museum.
1583
01:15:43,836 --> 01:15:46,088
Yes. Yes, it is.
1584
01:15:46,171 --> 01:15:47,923
It's an American history museum.
1585
01:15:49,341 --> 01:15:50,384
Mm-hmm.
1586
01:15:51,343 --> 01:15:53,929
Well, it's actually an
LGBTQ history museum.
1587
01:15:54,012 --> 01:15:56,682
It's the first major queer
history museum in America.
1588
01:15:56,765 --> 01:15:58,445
Do you teach your
students any gay history?
1589
01:15:58,517 --> 01:16:01,077
'Cause I know in a few states,
they're finally starting to do it.
1590
01:16:02,104 --> 01:16:06,066
Well, I teach
second grade, so no.
1591
01:16:06,149 --> 01:16:09,236
Oh. Right. No, I
understand. Yeah.
1592
01:16:13,907 --> 01:16:15,534
Out of curiosity, why not?
1593
01:16:15,617 --> 01:16:16,702
[Mrs. Shepard] Well,
1594
01:16:17,744 --> 01:16:19,788
I just think they're a
little young for that.
1595
01:16:20,581 --> 01:16:23,000
Of course. Yeah. No,
I understand that.
1596
01:16:27,296 --> 01:16:29,214
- I don't think so though.
- Bobby.
1597
01:16:29,298 --> 01:16:31,925
No, no, no, I'm just saying.
If I may disagree respectfully.
1598
01:16:32,009 --> 01:16:34,529
That's actually the best time to
teach them, when they're young.
1599
01:16:34,595 --> 01:16:37,222
You know, that way they develop
an appreciation for queer people
1600
01:16:37,306 --> 01:16:40,809
before they all start bullying each other
or hating themselves if they're gay.
1601
01:16:41,393 --> 01:16:42,477
Maybe you're right.
1602
01:16:46,857 --> 01:16:48,400
Feels a little young though.
1603
01:16:49,276 --> 01:16:50,277
Right.
1604
01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:52,237
Totally. I get it.
1605
01:16:52,321 --> 01:16:55,824
- I will drop it. Agree to disagree.
- Yeah.
1606
01:16:55,908 --> 01:16:57,618
- Cheers to that.
- Yes.
1607
01:16:58,744 --> 01:17:00,184
So when are you
guys heading home...
1608
01:17:00,245 --> 01:17:02,998
It's not really that young
though. It's not that young.
1609
01:17:03,081 --> 01:17:04,833
Bobby, can you please drop it?
1610
01:17:04,917 --> 01:17:08,170
No, I can't, because we're talking
about gay kids here, and it's important.
1611
01:17:08,253 --> 01:17:09,922
One of the things that saved me
1612
01:17:10,005 --> 01:17:12,549
is that my parents exposed me
to gay stories when I was a kid.
1613
01:17:12,633 --> 01:17:14,676
When I was 12 years
old... this is true...
1614
01:17:14,760 --> 01:17:18,096
My parents took me to see a Broadway
play called Love and Compassion.
1615
01:17:18,180 --> 01:17:21,558
It was about a group of gay men spending
the summer together in Provincetown.
1616
01:17:21,642 --> 01:17:23,560
And all of a sudden
the curtain goes up,
1617
01:17:23,644 --> 01:17:27,189
and there are seven completely
naked gay men on stage.
1618
01:17:27,272 --> 01:17:31,401
And there I am, sitting between
my mom and dad at age 12,
1619
01:17:31,485 --> 01:17:34,071
looking at seven soft penises.
1620
01:17:34,154 --> 01:17:35,155
[snorts] Shit.
1621
01:17:35,239 --> 01:17:37,491
And all of a sudden, two of
the guys start making out,
1622
01:17:37,574 --> 01:17:39,743
and then one of them starts
talking dirty, you know?
1623
01:17:39,826 --> 01:17:41,578
And I remember this so vividly,
1624
01:17:41,662 --> 01:17:43,747
there was a sex scene and
one of the guys is like,
1625
01:17:43,830 --> 01:17:47,835
"Pound my prostate. Pound my prostate."
You know, "Milk me. Milk me."
1626
01:17:47,918 --> 01:17:50,504
And I didn't even know what
that was. I mean, now I do.
1627
01:17:50,587 --> 01:17:52,756
But, you know, it
was incredible.
1628
01:17:52,840 --> 01:17:56,510
You know, to know that I could
sit there, between my mom and dad,
1629
01:17:56,593 --> 01:17:58,303
looking at seven penises.
1630
01:17:58,387 --> 01:18:01,181
Seven penises, Anne. I was 12.
1631
01:18:01,265 --> 01:18:05,352
And to know that they were okay with that,
I mean, that had a profound effect on me.
1632
01:18:05,435 --> 01:18:08,275
All I'm saying is, we need to remove
the stigma from that type of thing,
1633
01:18:08,313 --> 01:18:11,113
so that gay kids can feel good about
themselves. That's all I'm saying.
1634
01:18:11,149 --> 01:18:13,086
I mean, look at Aaron and
how much he hates his life.
1635
01:18:13,110 --> 01:18:14,403
- Bobby.
- All I'm saying
1636
01:18:14,486 --> 01:18:17,447
is there's a direct correlation between
how unhappy you are with your life
1637
01:18:17,531 --> 01:18:19,801
and what you weren't taught
about your potential as a child.
1638
01:18:19,825 --> 01:18:21,702
Bobby, stop talking.
Seriously, enough.
1639
01:18:21,785 --> 01:18:23,245
I will kill you.
1640
01:18:23,829 --> 01:18:26,081
Aaron, you hate your life?
1641
01:18:26,164 --> 01:18:28,250
♪ Rama lama lama ka
dinga da dinga dong ♪
1642
01:18:28,333 --> 01:18:30,544
♪ Shoo-bop sha wadda wadda
Yippity boom de boom ♪
1643
01:18:30,627 --> 01:18:34,715
♪ Chang chang changitty chang sha-bop Dip
da-dip da-dip doo-wop da doo-bee doo ♪
1644
01:18:34,798 --> 01:18:36,985
♪ Boogedy boogedy boogedy
boogedy Shoo-be doo-wop she-bop ♪
1645
01:18:37,009 --> 01:18:39,344
♪ Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Yippity dip de doom ♪
1646
01:18:39,428 --> 01:18:41,847
♪ Wop ba-ba lu-mop
and wop bam boom ♪
1647
01:18:47,394 --> 01:18:49,034
[Bobby] Your brother's
a real chatterbox.
1648
01:18:51,982 --> 01:18:53,108
Hey, are you mad?
1649
01:18:53,192 --> 01:18:54,234
Me? No, I'm great.
1650
01:18:54,860 --> 01:18:56,945
Josh just texted me. I'm
gonna meet him at that bar.
1651
01:18:57,029 --> 01:18:58,381
I think we should
go home and talk.
1652
01:18:58,405 --> 01:18:59,615
Really? You want to talk more?
1653
01:18:59,698 --> 01:19:01,342
I think it's better
than partying with Josh,
1654
01:19:01,366 --> 01:19:03,553
the self-loathing meathead
who took 40 years to come out.
1655
01:19:03,577 --> 01:19:04,786
Not everybody's you, Bobby.
1656
01:19:04,870 --> 01:19:07,748
Okay, but 40 years? J.R.R. Tolkien
took less time with his journey.
1657
01:19:07,831 --> 01:19:09,958
God, you are fucking relentless.
1658
01:19:10,501 --> 01:19:12,294
"Aaron hates his life"?
1659
01:19:13,128 --> 01:19:14,129
God.
1660
01:19:15,881 --> 01:19:16,882
Hey.
1661
01:19:17,674 --> 01:19:18,675
Hey!
1662
01:19:20,427 --> 01:19:21,929
Fuck!
1663
01:19:23,722 --> 01:19:27,309
[club music playing]
1664
01:19:27,392 --> 01:19:29,102
[chattering]
1665
01:19:40,572 --> 01:19:42,491
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
- Big man.
1666
01:19:42,574 --> 01:19:43,992
[Josh exhales]
1667
01:19:48,288 --> 01:19:49,498
Dude. No.
1668
01:19:49,581 --> 01:19:50,999
Hey. Just kiss me.
1669
01:19:57,756 --> 01:19:58,757
Aaron.
1670
01:20:00,133 --> 01:20:01,134
Hey, Bob.
1671
01:20:01,218 --> 01:20:03,095
Shit, Bobby, we were
just playing around.
1672
01:20:03,178 --> 01:20:05,681
You were just playing around?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
1673
01:20:05,764 --> 01:20:06,765
Bobby, Bobby.
1674
01:20:06,849 --> 01:20:08,559
- Josh, leave.
- I'm sorry.
1675
01:20:08,642 --> 01:20:11,395
- Get the fuck out of here!
- Bobby, calm down.
1676
01:20:11,478 --> 01:20:14,231
Oh, my God, I knew
it. I fucking knew it.
1677
01:20:14,314 --> 01:20:16,859
Just say it. Can you
please just say it?
1678
01:20:16,942 --> 01:20:19,945
Finally, just fucking say
it, because I already know.
1679
01:20:21,113 --> 01:20:23,115
- You're not attracted to me.
- What?
1680
01:20:23,198 --> 01:20:26,118
I see the guys you look at,
at the gym and the club.
1681
01:20:26,201 --> 01:20:28,036
Everywhere. Everywhere we go.
1682
01:20:28,120 --> 01:20:29,120
Okay, Bobby...
1683
01:20:29,162 --> 01:20:30,722
Go be with him if
that's what you want,
1684
01:20:30,789 --> 01:20:32,916
but I will not let you drag
me into this any further.
1685
01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:35,480
And I will not let you break my
heart. I am too smart for that.
1686
01:20:35,544 --> 01:20:38,422
Bobby, why did you say that shit
about me in front of my parents?
1687
01:20:38,505 --> 01:20:41,633
I begged you not to embarrass me,
but you couldn't help yourself.
1688
01:20:43,719 --> 01:20:45,012
What is wrong with you?
1689
01:20:46,096 --> 01:20:47,973
What is wrong with me?
1690
01:20:49,349 --> 01:20:51,143
"Tone it down, Bobby.
1691
01:20:51,226 --> 01:20:52,811
Be quiet, Bobby.
1692
01:20:52,895 --> 01:20:55,480
Can't you be a little
bit less of yourself?
1693
01:20:55,564 --> 01:20:56,565
Just for a few hours."
1694
01:20:58,233 --> 01:21:00,819
You don't think I
know what that means?
1695
01:21:00,903 --> 01:21:03,071
You don't think I know
what that's code for?
1696
01:21:03,155 --> 01:21:06,450
You don't think I've been hearing
that my whole fucking life?
1697
01:21:08,660 --> 01:21:10,037
That's what you think about me?
1698
01:21:12,581 --> 01:21:15,626
I'm not apologizing for myself.
I will leave that to you.
1699
01:21:27,679 --> 01:21:30,390
[exclaiming]
1700
01:21:33,769 --> 01:21:36,230
[sobbing]
1701
01:21:36,313 --> 01:21:38,482
Hey, question for you
because you know everyone.
1702
01:21:38,565 --> 01:21:39,566
I need a makeover.
1703
01:21:39,650 --> 01:21:41,944
Oh, yeah. Let's go
to a spa weekend.
1704
01:21:42,027 --> 01:21:44,821
No, I want steroids or
testosterone or HGH or something.
1705
01:21:44,905 --> 01:21:46,615
I keep working out but
I don't get bigger.
1706
01:21:46,698 --> 01:21:48,378
I want to look like a
fucking action star.
1707
01:21:48,450 --> 01:21:51,578
Forget Provincetown. I want people to
think I have a summer share on Jumanji.
1708
01:21:51,662 --> 01:21:53,956
I'm sick of being niche.
I want to be Thor.
1709
01:21:54,039 --> 01:21:56,479
You know that steroids don't
make you big on their own, right?
1710
01:21:56,542 --> 01:21:57,751
You still have to work out
1711
01:21:57,835 --> 01:21:59,545
- and you can't miss the window.
- I know.
1712
01:22:03,841 --> 01:22:06,176
Let's fucking go.
1713
01:22:06,969 --> 01:22:08,053
Ow.
1714
01:22:08,136 --> 01:22:09,721
[cell phone dings]
1715
01:22:10,889 --> 01:22:13,225
No. Fuck!
1716
01:22:13,517 --> 01:22:16,478
[chattering]
1717
01:22:16,562 --> 01:22:18,313
Stop. What are you
doing? Stop that.
1718
01:22:18,397 --> 01:22:19,439
[Wanda] Bobby!
1719
01:22:19,523 --> 01:22:21,084
- The Lincoln exhibit is canceled.
- Why?
1720
01:22:21,108 --> 01:22:23,708
People are threatening a boycott,
they're pulling their donations.
1721
01:22:23,777 --> 01:22:24,862
There's not enough proof.
1722
01:22:24,945 --> 01:22:27,656
Okay. You want to put
Lincoln back in the closet?
1723
01:22:27,739 --> 01:22:30,033
Fine. I'll put him
back in the closet,
1724
01:22:30,117 --> 01:22:32,303
- I'll put him back in the fucking closet.
- [Wanda] Bobby!
1725
01:22:32,327 --> 01:22:33,620
Here.
1726
01:22:33,704 --> 01:22:34,705
There you go.
1727
01:22:34,788 --> 01:22:37,666
Lincoln is back in the closet
where you all need him to be.
1728
01:22:37,749 --> 01:22:39,126
I'm on steroids.
1729
01:22:39,209 --> 01:22:40,711
Okay, Bobby, just calm down.
1730
01:22:40,794 --> 01:22:44,548
So, Angela and I have proposed that
the final exhibit be called "Post-Gay."
1731
01:22:44,631 --> 01:22:45,757
Post-Gay?
1732
01:22:45,841 --> 01:22:48,969
Yes, because just
being gay is old news.
1733
01:22:49,052 --> 01:22:52,389
Okay, so, now I'm too gay for
Aaron, but I'm too straight for you?
1734
01:22:53,015 --> 01:22:57,311
Will somebody please tell me
exactly how gay I'm supposed to be?
1735
01:22:57,394 --> 01:22:59,730
Poor Abraham Lincoln
can't even be gay now?
1736
01:22:59,813 --> 01:23:01,356
Because he wasn't gay, Bobby.
1737
01:23:01,440 --> 01:23:03,817
- He was bi, and I have...
- Okay, enough.
1738
01:23:03,901 --> 01:23:07,237
You want to get rid of our stories?
Fine. Let's get rid of them.
1739
01:23:07,905 --> 01:23:09,448
I have roid rage.
1740
01:23:09,531 --> 01:23:10,574
Are you insane?
1741
01:23:10,657 --> 01:23:11,825
Enough, Bobby. No.
1742
01:23:11,909 --> 01:23:14,620
It's for you.
Bye-bye, Buttigieg.
1743
01:23:15,787 --> 01:23:16,987
- [Wanda] Stop it, Bobby.
- No.
1744
01:23:17,039 --> 01:23:18,498
Bobby.
1745
01:23:18,582 --> 01:23:20,209
No. Give it to me.
1746
01:23:20,292 --> 01:23:22,544
- Put the flag down.
- Give it to me.
1747
01:23:23,921 --> 01:23:25,047
[people exclaim]
1748
01:23:25,130 --> 01:23:28,050
- Angela and the lesbians, hold him down.
- [Bobby] No.
1749
01:23:30,052 --> 01:23:31,553
You're on steroids?
1750
01:23:31,637 --> 01:23:32,638
You can't tell.
1751
01:23:32,721 --> 01:23:34,806
You know what, I
don't need this shit.
1752
01:23:34,890 --> 01:23:37,434
Me neither. Lesbians, disperse.
1753
01:23:38,352 --> 01:23:40,062
[Angela] I hate the museum,
1754
01:23:40,145 --> 01:23:43,774
but most of all, I really
fucking hate storytelling.
1755
01:23:43,857 --> 01:23:45,901
[people gasping]
1756
01:23:45,984 --> 01:23:47,402
She doesn't like
telling stories.
1757
01:23:47,486 --> 01:23:49,905
Maybe the final wing
should be a big, empty room
1758
01:23:49,988 --> 01:23:52,574
where people can go to
just shut the fuck up!
1759
01:23:52,658 --> 01:23:56,245
Okay. Yeah. Leave. All of you.
1760
01:23:56,328 --> 01:23:59,456
Oh, shit. My window.
My workout window.
1761
01:23:59,998 --> 01:24:02,376
["Drop The Bass" playing]
1762
01:24:20,602 --> 01:24:22,229
♪ Drop the bass ♪
1763
01:24:28,402 --> 01:24:30,612
[song continues
faintly over earbuds]
1764
01:24:30,696 --> 01:24:32,197
[in macho voice] Hey, bro.
1765
01:24:32,281 --> 01:24:34,324
- Hey, bro. What's up?
- What's up?
1766
01:24:34,408 --> 01:24:35,617
I'm Joel.
1767
01:24:35,701 --> 01:24:38,203
I'm… Rob.
1768
01:24:38,287 --> 01:24:40,163
Hey, can you help me
with this set, bro?
1769
01:24:40,247 --> 01:24:42,583
Yeah, sure, bro. Yeah.
1770
01:24:42,666 --> 01:24:43,876
Nice.
1771
01:24:45,419 --> 01:24:47,462
- You doing chest?
- Yep.
1772
01:24:47,546 --> 01:24:49,715
- Leg day for me, bro.
- Oh, nice.
1773
01:24:49,798 --> 01:24:51,216
Gotta work on those hammies.
1774
01:24:51,300 --> 01:24:53,594
Yeah. [chuckles]
Go put them all on.
1775
01:24:53,677 --> 01:24:55,053
I'm doing a superset today.
1776
01:24:55,137 --> 01:24:56,430
- Oh, superset?
- Yeah.
1777
01:24:56,513 --> 01:24:57,639
Yeah, superset.
1778
01:24:57,723 --> 01:25:00,225
- Pack it up, bro. Lots of plates.
- Yeah.
1779
01:25:00,309 --> 01:25:04,271
I haven't seen this many plates
since the Jewish holidays, bro.
1780
01:25:04,354 --> 01:25:05,731
- Nice, nice.
- Yeah.
1781
01:25:07,733 --> 01:25:09,526
We should hang out
again sometime.
1782
01:25:10,319 --> 01:25:11,361
Maybe watch a game?
1783
01:25:11,445 --> 01:25:14,072
[in normal voice] Yeah, I'd love
that. I'll give you my number.
1784
01:25:14,156 --> 01:25:16,033
Holy shit, dude. What
happened to your voice?
1785
01:25:16,116 --> 01:25:17,242
Oh, fuck.
1786
01:25:17,326 --> 01:25:20,204
Um… Okay, I'm really sorry.
1787
01:25:20,287 --> 01:25:23,957
But, um, I know this is
very strange, but when I...
1788
01:25:24,041 --> 01:25:28,337
When I walked up to you in the gym,
I just did this voice, you know?
1789
01:25:28,420 --> 01:25:30,547
You know, like, "Hey,
bro. What's up?"
1790
01:25:30,631 --> 01:25:32,508
I don't know, I
just was trying it.
1791
01:25:32,591 --> 01:25:34,176
Holy shit, are you
a serial killer?
1792
01:25:34,259 --> 01:25:36,059
Are you going to fucking
kill a bro right now?
1793
01:25:36,136 --> 01:25:38,016
No, no, no. I'm not killing
a bro. I'm so sorry.
1794
01:25:38,096 --> 01:25:39,765
No, this is weird.
I'm sorry. I'll go.
1795
01:25:39,848 --> 01:25:41,517
Yeah, you need to
leave right now.
1796
01:25:41,600 --> 01:25:43,995
But it kind of worked, right?
That's what's weird about it...
1797
01:25:44,019 --> 01:25:45,103
Dude, hurry up, man.
1798
01:25:45,187 --> 01:25:47,427
But just the fact that I was
like, "Hey, bro. What's up?"
1799
01:25:47,481 --> 01:25:49,525
Okay, I'm leaving. I'm so sorry.
1800
01:25:49,608 --> 01:25:51,944
I'm going through a very
hard time right now.
1801
01:25:52,027 --> 01:25:53,278
I didn't ask for all that.
1802
01:25:53,362 --> 01:25:55,322
Okay. I'm sorry. I'm
going. I'm going.
1803
01:25:55,405 --> 01:25:57,199
Can I just ask you
one thing though?
1804
01:25:57,282 --> 01:26:00,661
If I had come up to you
and used my real voice,
1805
01:26:00,744 --> 01:26:02,184
would you have been
attracted to me?
1806
01:26:02,246 --> 01:26:03,580
Wow,
1807
01:26:03,664 --> 01:26:05,582
that is really sad, but…
1808
01:26:06,625 --> 01:26:08,627
yeah, I think so.
1809
01:26:09,545 --> 01:26:11,547
- Oh.
- But not now.
1810
01:26:12,548 --> 01:26:13,590
Okay.
1811
01:26:14,591 --> 01:26:15,634
I'm really sorry.
1812
01:26:21,139 --> 01:26:22,140
Streisand?
1813
01:26:22,224 --> 01:26:23,851
Of course. I love her.
1814
01:26:24,560 --> 01:26:25,686
She's the best.
1815
01:26:25,769 --> 01:26:26,812
Streisand fucking rules.
1816
01:26:26,895 --> 01:26:29,231
This is actually kind of like
Yentl, if you think about it.
1817
01:26:29,314 --> 01:26:31,567
- Dude, get the fuck out.
- I'm so sorry.
1818
01:26:33,277 --> 01:26:34,611
Later.
1819
01:26:34,695 --> 01:26:35,946
Sorry.
1820
01:26:36,029 --> 01:26:38,657
[TV announcer] And now,
Hallheart proudly presents
1821
01:26:38,740 --> 01:26:41,410
our first polyamorous
holiday film,
1822
01:26:41,493 --> 01:26:43,120
A Holly, Poly Christmas.
1823
01:26:43,203 --> 01:26:45,706
Look, it's snowing.
1824
01:26:45,789 --> 01:26:48,458
- It's snowing on all seven of us.
- [laughter]
1825
01:26:48,542 --> 01:26:50,043
Oh, man.
1826
01:26:50,127 --> 01:26:51,545
[sniffles]
1827
01:26:53,130 --> 01:26:54,131
[on TV] Guys.
1828
01:26:55,424 --> 01:26:58,260
- [club music playing]
- [chattering]
1829
01:27:07,603 --> 01:27:08,687
[Aaron] Hey.
1830
01:27:09,229 --> 01:27:10,272
Hey.
1831
01:27:11,815 --> 01:27:13,066
Can we talk?
1832
01:27:14,568 --> 01:27:15,652
Okay.
1833
01:27:22,284 --> 01:27:23,619
[Bobby] So what's up?
1834
01:27:25,120 --> 01:27:28,540
Bobby, I am so sorry I told
you not to be yourself.
1835
01:27:28,624 --> 01:27:31,710
I know I fucked up, but
this is new for me too.
1836
01:27:31,793 --> 01:27:34,379
And when you blew up in front
of my parents, honestly, it...
1837
01:27:36,673 --> 01:27:38,842
It felt like you were
doing it on purpose.
1838
01:27:39,426 --> 01:27:40,594
I was.
1839
01:27:41,386 --> 01:27:42,554
And I'm sorry.
1840
01:27:42,638 --> 01:27:45,265
I shouldn't have handled
it like that. You're right.
1841
01:27:46,308 --> 01:27:47,518
I'm sorry.
1842
01:27:50,103 --> 01:27:51,396
But, Aaron,
1843
01:27:52,606 --> 01:27:57,444
that doesn't change the fact that
you like a certain type of guy.
1844
01:27:57,528 --> 01:28:00,322
And that isn't me,
and that's okay.
1845
01:28:02,282 --> 01:28:03,492
You're right.
1846
01:28:04,618 --> 01:28:07,496
I always pictured
myself with a guy...
1847
01:28:07,579 --> 01:28:09,248
- Like Josh.
- Yeah, a guy like Josh.
1848
01:28:09,331 --> 01:28:10,707
Yeah, he's hot.
1849
01:28:10,791 --> 01:28:13,252
Yes, he's simple,
conventional, basic as hell,
1850
01:28:13,335 --> 01:28:15,504
and not somebody that
actually makes me happy.
1851
01:28:17,673 --> 01:28:19,633
Bobby, you are so
different from me.
1852
01:28:20,300 --> 01:28:23,929
You're not afraid to take up space
in the world. You challenge me.
1853
01:28:24,012 --> 01:28:25,681
Which at first,
it freaked me out
1854
01:28:25,764 --> 01:28:29,268
because who the fuck wants to
be challenged all the time, but…
1855
01:28:33,564 --> 01:28:34,857
But I love it.
1856
01:28:37,067 --> 01:28:38,443
You're what's been missing.
1857
01:28:39,194 --> 01:28:41,572
I know I fucked up, but
please give me another chance.
1858
01:28:41,655 --> 01:28:43,699
I miss you so much.
1859
01:28:43,782 --> 01:28:45,576
I miss you too.
1860
01:28:47,786 --> 01:28:48,954
A lot.
1861
01:28:51,665 --> 01:28:53,417
I didn't realize until
after we broke up
1862
01:28:53,500 --> 01:28:56,253
there were actually a couple
of months there where I was…
1863
01:28:57,004 --> 01:28:58,297
What do they call it?
1864
01:28:59,548 --> 01:29:00,966
In a good mood.
1865
01:29:16,773 --> 01:29:17,983
But I can't.
1866
01:29:21,737 --> 01:29:25,532
My whole life, I have prided
myself on being self-aware
1867
01:29:25,616 --> 01:29:28,160
and self-reliant
and self-possessed,
1868
01:29:28,243 --> 01:29:29,953
and it didn't matter.
1869
01:29:30,954 --> 01:29:32,039
It didn't matter
1870
01:29:32,122 --> 01:29:34,791
because, at the end of the day,
I just ended up in the street
1871
01:29:34,875 --> 01:29:37,294
looking at you and
looking at Josh
1872
01:29:37,377 --> 01:29:40,255
and thinking, "I'm
not enough for him."
1873
01:29:40,339 --> 01:29:41,882
I know, and I feel awful.
1874
01:29:41,965 --> 01:29:44,259
But do not throw this away
because of one mistake.
1875
01:29:44,343 --> 01:29:46,553
What do you want me to do?
1876
01:29:46,637 --> 01:29:49,056
- Say you'll give me another chance.
- I can't do that.
1877
01:29:50,057 --> 01:29:51,308
Why not?
1878
01:29:52,351 --> 01:29:54,186
'Cause I don't trust you.
1879
01:29:59,066 --> 01:30:00,776
I've been alone so
long. Who knows?
1880
01:30:00,859 --> 01:30:02,945
Maybe that's the only
way I know how to be.
1881
01:30:03,028 --> 01:30:04,446
I don't know.
1882
01:30:12,704 --> 01:30:13,997
[Bobby] I'm going.
1883
01:30:15,582 --> 01:30:17,584
[machine beeping]
1884
01:30:21,213 --> 01:30:23,841
- [machine chimes]
- It's good.
1885
01:30:24,424 --> 01:30:25,717
Hey!
1886
01:30:28,637 --> 01:30:30,848
If you don't trust
me, that's fine.
1887
01:30:32,516 --> 01:30:35,352
But if for some reason, underneath
all that strength and confidence,
1888
01:30:35,435 --> 01:30:37,521
you still don't trust that
you are lovable enough,
1889
01:30:37,604 --> 01:30:39,356
I'm living proof…
1890
01:30:40,649 --> 01:30:42,234
that you're wrong.
1891
01:30:55,497 --> 01:30:56,707
[clangs]
1892
01:31:07,134 --> 01:31:09,195
[Bobby] First of all, thank
you all for letting me do this.
1893
01:31:09,219 --> 01:31:11,138
I really appreciate it.
1894
01:31:11,221 --> 01:31:16,810
Look, I know I've been a very
angry, judgmental person, obviously.
1895
01:31:16,894 --> 01:31:19,134
And sometimes anger can be
good. I know you all know that
1896
01:31:19,188 --> 01:31:21,982
because for years, it was the
fuel we all needed to keep going.
1897
01:31:22,065 --> 01:31:24,544
It wasn't that long ago that the
straight gatekeepers of the world
1898
01:31:24,568 --> 01:31:27,738
didn't allow for all of us to
really succeed in a big way.
1899
01:31:27,821 --> 01:31:30,282
Oh, my God. Do you guys
remember straight people?
1900
01:31:30,365 --> 01:31:32,367
Yeah. They had a
nice run. [chuckles]
1901
01:31:32,451 --> 01:31:34,870
Look, Bobby. I'm a
Black trans woman,
1902
01:31:34,953 --> 01:31:37,497
and I don't need you to come
here and lecture me about anger.
1903
01:31:37,581 --> 01:31:40,125
But I get it.
1904
01:31:40,209 --> 01:31:43,420
I am brimming with anger.
1905
01:31:44,505 --> 01:31:46,590
And if I were to let
just an ounce of it out,
1906
01:31:46,673 --> 01:31:48,800
I would probably explode
and kill every one of you.
1907
01:31:50,052 --> 01:31:52,429
But, Bobby, I want
you to know something.
1908
01:31:52,513 --> 01:31:53,514
I hear you.
1909
01:31:54,848 --> 01:31:56,225
And I forgive you.
1910
01:31:56,308 --> 01:31:57,726
You do?
1911
01:31:57,809 --> 01:31:59,102
Yes.
1912
01:31:59,186 --> 01:32:02,731
Look, this is the only community
I've ever loved being a part of.
1913
01:32:02,814 --> 01:32:06,109
And we fight like crazy,
and we always have…
1914
01:32:07,986 --> 01:32:09,404
but you're my people.
1915
01:32:11,031 --> 01:32:15,536
And I am so sorry that I was
so rude and spoke down to you.
1916
01:32:15,619 --> 01:32:17,538
I should've shown you
much more respect.
1917
01:32:18,163 --> 01:32:22,793
There is truly no group of people on
earth that I love and respect more.
1918
01:32:22,876 --> 01:32:25,546
Well, I am not going to
lie. I am still angry.
1919
01:32:26,255 --> 01:32:27,631
But I insist on progress.
1920
01:32:27,714 --> 01:32:30,133
Not just for our LGBTQ heroes,
1921
01:32:30,217 --> 01:32:33,136
but for our LGBTQ assholes.
1922
01:32:33,971 --> 01:32:34,972
Like you.
1923
01:32:35,973 --> 01:32:36,974
Thank you, Robert.
1924
01:32:38,475 --> 01:32:41,812
The live of this
apology has 40K viewers.
1925
01:32:41,895 --> 01:32:44,356
You're posting this?
Can you please...
1926
01:32:44,982 --> 01:32:47,234
No, okay. Yeah. No, you
should definitely post this.
1927
01:32:47,317 --> 01:32:48,485
Everything should...
1928
01:32:48,569 --> 01:32:51,089
Everything should be posted, and
thank you for teaching me that.
1929
01:32:51,154 --> 01:32:55,367
["Turn To Hate" playing]
1930
01:33:10,883 --> 01:33:13,594
♪ Don't leave, don't cry ♪
1931
01:33:13,677 --> 01:33:17,347
♪ You're just another
boy Caught in the rye ♪
1932
01:33:18,223 --> 01:33:21,018
Hey. I've decided to quit.
1933
01:33:21,101 --> 01:33:23,770
- I just quit too!
- You did?
1934
01:33:23,854 --> 01:33:27,065
I do this Kamala Harris impression
online, and it's really taking off.
1935
01:33:27,149 --> 01:33:28,442
- Oh.
- Yeah,
1936
01:33:28,525 --> 01:33:31,987
like, "I'm Kamala Harris. Okay."
1937
01:33:35,741 --> 01:33:36,742
Good luck with that.
1938
01:33:36,825 --> 01:33:38,785
Yeah. Good luck with
whatever you're doing.
1939
01:33:38,869 --> 01:33:40,149
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm. [chuckles]
1940
01:33:46,168 --> 01:33:47,169
[cell phone dings]
1941
01:33:49,505 --> 01:33:53,133
Hey, Bobby. I wanted you to be
the first person to see this.
1942
01:33:53,217 --> 01:33:57,137
This is Aaron Shepard's Chocolate
Factory. I made these little chocolates.
1943
01:33:57,221 --> 01:33:59,264
I also made some special treats
1944
01:33:59,348 --> 01:34:02,893
to celebrate the opening
of the LGBTQ+ Museum.
1945
01:34:03,810 --> 01:34:04,895
These are Harvey Milk Duds.
1946
01:34:05,979 --> 01:34:08,482
And instead of a heart-shaped
Valentine's Day box
1947
01:34:08,565 --> 01:34:10,234
filled with chocolates,
1948
01:34:10,317 --> 01:34:14,154
we have a pink "silence equals death"
triangle filled with chocolates.
1949
01:34:14,238 --> 01:34:17,241
And a tribute to my favorite
gay television character,
1950
01:34:17,324 --> 01:34:18,951
this is…
1951
01:34:19,034 --> 01:34:21,411
a "Tirami-Susan" from Friends.
1952
01:34:21,995 --> 01:34:24,081
Of course Aaron likes Friends.
1953
01:34:24,164 --> 01:34:26,204
[Aaron] Of course, all the
profits go to the museum.
1954
01:34:26,708 --> 01:34:28,877
Okay. Bye.
1955
01:34:31,964 --> 01:34:37,177
♪ It's all right ♪
1956
01:34:38,178 --> 01:34:41,723
♪ It's all right ♪
1957
01:34:44,309 --> 01:34:46,937
♪ It's all right ♪
1958
01:34:47,020 --> 01:34:49,064
Dude, thanks for
letting me crash here.
1959
01:34:49,147 --> 01:34:52,526
I know Mom pressured
you into inviting me…
1960
01:34:53,569 --> 01:34:54,820
but it's cool of you.
1961
01:34:56,321 --> 01:34:57,447
Yeah, sure.
1962
01:34:58,365 --> 01:35:00,742
- You okay, bro?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
1963
01:35:00,826 --> 01:35:02,995
I'm a very happy chocolatier.
1964
01:35:06,748 --> 01:35:07,958
I mean, there was that guy.
1965
01:35:09,877 --> 01:35:12,045
But it's over.
Whatever. I'm fine.
1966
01:35:12,129 --> 01:35:13,714
Yeah, totally.
1967
01:35:15,215 --> 01:35:16,758
Jesus, how do you decapitate?
1968
01:35:17,426 --> 01:35:20,345
Seriously, that's all you're gonna
say? "How do you decapitate?"
1969
01:35:20,429 --> 01:35:22,710
What do you want me to say?
How do you remove their heads?
1970
01:35:22,764 --> 01:35:24,850
What about, "Hey, bro.
How are you holding up?"
1971
01:35:24,933 --> 01:35:27,227
I'm sorry, bro. We don't
talk about this shit.
1972
01:35:27,311 --> 01:35:30,314
I'm crashing here because I'm
in the middle of a divorce,
1973
01:35:30,397 --> 01:35:32,065
and you haven't asked
me about it once.
1974
01:35:33,483 --> 01:35:34,484
I'm sorry.
1975
01:35:36,653 --> 01:35:37,946
So how's the divorce?
1976
01:35:38,030 --> 01:35:39,781
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- Okay.
1977
01:35:41,200 --> 01:35:42,326
So…
1978
01:35:43,827 --> 01:35:45,412
what happened to you?
1979
01:35:46,079 --> 01:35:48,582
Okay, you remember at Christmas
when Mom and Dad came?
1980
01:35:49,458 --> 01:35:50,542
I asked Bobby to...
1981
01:35:52,669 --> 01:35:54,213
I asked him to tone it down.
1982
01:35:55,589 --> 01:35:57,758
I know. I know. I
fucked up. I panicked.
1983
01:36:00,093 --> 01:36:02,179
Did you try to get him back?
1984
01:36:02,262 --> 01:36:05,557
Yes! I mean, Bobby is the best, but
he is a stubborn son of a bitch.
1985
01:36:06,350 --> 01:36:10,521
And do you love this
stubborn little bitch?
1986
01:36:17,444 --> 01:36:19,780
Whatever. It's over.
1987
01:36:19,863 --> 01:36:21,949
Bobby's strong. He
doesn't need me.
1988
01:36:23,325 --> 01:36:24,868
He doesn't need anyone.
1989
01:36:25,494 --> 01:36:28,205
["Alive (Millennium
Funk Mix)" playing]
1990
01:36:28,288 --> 01:36:33,126
Hey, guys. It's your girl, Tamara.
We're opening the LGBT Museum tonight.
1991
01:36:33,210 --> 01:36:37,172
Tonight is our grand opening, and
we're gonna have a wonderful time!
1992
01:36:37,256 --> 01:36:39,091
Yeah! What's up?
1993
01:36:39,174 --> 01:36:40,592
What's up?
1994
01:36:42,010 --> 01:36:44,763
Hi. I'm Leonardo da Vinci.
1995
01:36:44,847 --> 01:36:49,810
I changed the world with my work as
an inventor, scientist and artist.
1996
01:36:49,893 --> 01:36:53,188
But most importantly,
I may have been bi.
1997
01:36:53,981 --> 01:36:55,732
Arrivederci.
1998
01:36:55,816 --> 01:36:57,651
[screaming]
1999
01:37:00,279 --> 01:37:01,738
[cackling laughter]
2000
01:37:01,822 --> 01:37:05,117
Congrats. You've made it to
the Obama Administration.
2001
01:37:05,200 --> 01:37:07,119
But what's that
around the corner?
2002
01:37:07,202 --> 01:37:08,954
[cackles]
2003
01:37:09,788 --> 01:37:11,623
[chattering]
2004
01:37:12,875 --> 01:37:15,335
Okay, seriously, this
place is incredible.
2005
01:37:15,878 --> 01:37:17,254
Are you happy?
2006
01:37:17,337 --> 01:37:19,298
I don't know. It's
weird, you know?
2007
01:37:19,381 --> 01:37:22,217
This place was my
dream, and it happened.
2008
01:37:24,344 --> 01:37:26,430
Why can't I answer
your question?
2009
01:37:26,513 --> 01:37:28,432
- Okay, can I just say one thing?
- Yes.
2010
01:37:28,515 --> 01:37:30,017
I know that what
he did was wrong,
2011
01:37:30,100 --> 01:37:31,900
but you didn't have to
argue with his parents.
2012
01:37:31,977 --> 01:37:34,062
I did though.
Plus, I apologized.
2013
01:37:34,146 --> 01:37:35,647
And he apologized too.
2014
01:37:35,731 --> 01:37:37,274
I just don't know
if I can trust him.
2015
01:37:37,357 --> 01:37:38,984
He fucked up. People fuck up.
2016
01:37:39,067 --> 01:37:41,987
Is there no part of you that
wants to give him a second chance?
2017
01:37:43,363 --> 01:37:44,656
You know what it is?
2018
01:37:45,532 --> 01:37:48,160
I just don't want to want
someone else this much.
2019
01:37:48,243 --> 01:37:49,244
But you do!
2020
01:37:49,328 --> 01:37:51,663
It doesn't make you look
weak to love someone.
2021
01:37:51,747 --> 01:37:54,041
Vulnerability is
not a boner killer.
2022
01:37:54,124 --> 01:37:56,335
- [chuckles]
- I know you.
2023
01:37:56,418 --> 01:38:00,047
I know that you've had a million reasons
to keep your guard up all these years.
2024
01:38:00,130 --> 01:38:02,841
But there are people out there
worth letting your guard down for.
2025
01:38:03,634 --> 01:38:06,386
Were you happier with
him or without him?
2026
01:38:06,470 --> 01:38:08,013
That's all that really matters.
2027
01:38:08,597 --> 01:38:11,557
Can I tell you something extremely
embarrassing that I would only tell you?
2028
01:38:11,600 --> 01:38:12,851
Yes.
2029
01:38:13,435 --> 01:38:15,020
I wrote a song about him.
2030
01:38:15,103 --> 01:38:18,440
I know! That's the only time I'm gonna
talk about it. We're not talking about it.
2031
01:38:18,524 --> 01:38:20,359
I didn't send it, and
I'm not sending it.
2032
01:38:21,151 --> 01:38:22,819
Okay. Fine.
2033
01:38:23,487 --> 01:38:25,697
I've just never seen
you that happy, is all.
2034
01:38:26,698 --> 01:38:28,033
And I love seeing it.
2035
01:38:30,661 --> 01:38:32,454
- [Bobby] Hi, guys.
- Hi, sweetie.
2036
01:38:32,538 --> 01:38:34,331
- Ready to go dance? Let's go.
- Yeah.
2037
01:38:40,629 --> 01:38:43,257
[no audible dialogue]
2038
01:39:10,242 --> 01:39:11,660
[cell phone chimes]
2039
01:39:14,329 --> 01:39:15,831
Holy shit. He texted me.
2040
01:39:15,914 --> 01:39:16,915
Bobby texted me!
2041
01:39:16,999 --> 01:39:18,000
What did he say?
2042
01:39:18,083 --> 01:39:20,294
He said, "Hey, what's up?"
2043
01:39:21,712 --> 01:39:23,046
"Hey, what's up?"
2044
01:39:23,130 --> 01:39:24,930
Fuck yeah, bro! That's
what I'm talking about!
2045
01:39:24,965 --> 01:39:26,091
- That's good?
- It's great!
2046
01:39:26,175 --> 01:39:28,135
- "Hey, what's up?"
- "Hey, what's up?"
2047
01:39:28,218 --> 01:39:29,738
- "Hey, what's up?"
- "Hey, what's up?"
2048
01:39:29,803 --> 01:39:31,471
- No, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
- What?
2049
01:39:31,555 --> 01:39:34,808
Okay, yeah. I'm gonna wait to
text him back though, you know?
2050
01:39:34,892 --> 01:39:36,310
Shit. I gotta get to the gym.
2051
01:39:36,393 --> 01:39:40,814
Aaron, what the fuck is up with you
and the CrossFit every day? Jesus!
2052
01:39:40,898 --> 01:39:43,192
What are you people all
training for? You going to war?
2053
01:39:43,775 --> 01:39:45,194
Stop playing it so cool.
2054
01:39:45,277 --> 01:39:47,654
Just go and tell
him how you feel.
2055
01:39:47,738 --> 01:39:49,406
What about you?
What about divorce?
2056
01:39:49,489 --> 01:39:50,929
What about keeping
it young and fun?
2057
01:39:50,991 --> 01:39:51,992
Whatever.
2058
01:39:52,075 --> 01:39:54,161
Straight people, we're
so set in our ways,
2059
01:39:54,244 --> 01:39:57,414
but gay people, you guys are
all so... You're so smart.
2060
01:39:57,497 --> 01:39:59,416
You're gonna figure it out.
2061
01:39:59,499 --> 01:40:02,211
My story is not your story.
2062
01:40:02,794 --> 01:40:04,379
Go write your own damn story.
2063
01:40:05,422 --> 01:40:07,758
- Go! Now!
- Okay. Yeah.
2064
01:40:09,259 --> 01:40:10,302
Hey.
2065
01:40:11,094 --> 01:40:12,429
[Jason grunts]
2066
01:40:13,138 --> 01:40:14,181
[clears throat]
2067
01:40:14,264 --> 01:40:15,742
- "Hey, what's up?"
- "Hey, what's up?"
2068
01:40:15,766 --> 01:40:17,142
- "Hey, what's up?"
- Yeah!
2069
01:40:38,830 --> 01:40:40,165
- Bobby?
- Yeah?
2070
01:40:40,249 --> 01:40:42,042
- It's time for the toast.
- Okay, great.
2071
01:40:42,125 --> 01:40:43,126
Okay.
2072
01:40:53,303 --> 01:40:55,973
[Wanda] One of the hardest parts
of putting the museum together
2073
01:40:56,056 --> 01:40:59,309
was figuring out what the
final exhibit would be.
2074
01:40:59,393 --> 01:41:02,813
The message we'd leave
people with about who we are.
2075
01:41:02,896 --> 01:41:06,108
But the truth is we
are not one thing.
2076
01:41:06,191 --> 01:41:08,610
We are not a monolithic group.
2077
01:41:08,694 --> 01:41:13,574
We are some of the smartest and most
self-reliant people you will ever meet.
2078
01:41:13,657 --> 01:41:15,325
And we are so stupid.
2079
01:41:15,409 --> 01:41:16,410
[laughter]
2080
01:41:16,493 --> 01:41:18,161
[Wanda] And we are a total mess.
2081
01:41:18,245 --> 01:41:19,997
And we are great.
2082
01:41:20,747 --> 01:41:23,584
We've been around since the
beginning of time, of course,
2083
01:41:23,667 --> 01:41:26,003
and yet it still feels like
we're at the very beginning
2084
01:41:26,086 --> 01:41:27,838
of being able to
tell our own stories.
2085
01:41:27,921 --> 01:41:31,758
In many ways, I think we're still
getting to know each other, really.
2086
01:41:32,259 --> 01:41:34,845
Now, I'm just a boring
old cis white gay,
2087
01:41:34,928 --> 01:41:36,346
but… [chuckles]
2088
01:41:36,430 --> 01:41:41,435
…one thing I have learned from my
trans and bi and nonbinary family
2089
01:41:41,518 --> 01:41:47,441
is that happiness for all of us comes from
staying fluid, staying open to change.
2090
01:41:47,524 --> 01:41:51,028
Open to being more than just
who you thought you were
2091
01:41:51,111 --> 01:41:53,906
or more than what other
people assume you are.
2092
01:41:53,989 --> 01:41:56,241
So this is a toast to all of us.
2093
01:41:57,075 --> 01:41:59,077
We've come a long way.
2094
01:41:59,786 --> 01:42:04,041
And there are a lot of people who deserved
to live long enough to be here tonight.
2095
01:42:04,875 --> 01:42:08,504
And we are here,
and they are not.
2096
01:42:10,047 --> 01:42:12,049
And we are very lucky.
2097
01:42:14,885 --> 01:42:16,803
We are very lucky.
2098
01:42:19,014 --> 01:42:20,807
I have no complaints.
2099
01:42:29,525 --> 01:42:30,526
Hey.
2100
01:42:33,862 --> 01:42:34,863
Hey.
2101
01:42:36,406 --> 01:42:37,407
Um…
2102
01:42:38,909 --> 01:42:39,910
Sorry, um...
2103
01:42:40,577 --> 01:42:42,829
Just, um... One more
thing. Sorry, hold on.
2104
01:42:42,913 --> 01:42:45,040
I'm gonna do it. Let's
do it. Let's do it.
2105
01:42:45,123 --> 01:42:46,708
[crowd murmuring]
2106
01:42:49,127 --> 01:42:50,212
What's going on?
2107
01:42:52,130 --> 01:42:54,883
Hi. [clears throat]
2108
01:42:57,761 --> 01:42:58,929
[Bobby] So, um,
2109
01:42:59,012 --> 01:43:02,140
this is a little special
something I wrote for tonight,
2110
01:43:03,350 --> 01:43:06,478
and I didn't think I would
actually have a reason to sing it.
2111
01:43:06,562 --> 01:43:09,773
And I haven't sung in front of people
in a very long time, so forgive me.
2112
01:43:09,857 --> 01:43:12,025
But tonight is about love
2113
01:43:12,109 --> 01:43:15,070
and we've seen a lot
of tortured gay cowboys
2114
01:43:15,153 --> 01:43:17,781
played by a lot of straight
actors over the years.
2115
01:43:17,865 --> 01:43:19,032
[laughter]
2116
01:43:19,116 --> 01:43:23,036
So, this is a love song from
one gay cowboy to another
2117
01:43:23,120 --> 01:43:26,790
inspired by everyone's
favorite LGBTQ+ icon,
2118
01:43:27,916 --> 01:43:29,042
Garth Brooks.
2119
01:43:29,126 --> 01:43:31,336
[laughter]
2120
01:43:33,463 --> 01:43:36,466
[guitar playing]
2121
01:43:38,886 --> 01:43:40,929
♪ We met at the club ♪
2122
01:43:42,139 --> 01:43:44,600
♪ Mariah Carey remix on ♪
2123
01:43:45,642 --> 01:43:48,604
♪ Oh, the boys in harnesses ♪
2124
01:43:48,687 --> 01:43:51,231
♪ You didn't
recognize the song ♪
2125
01:43:51,315 --> 01:43:53,233
♪ You took me up ♪
2126
01:43:55,027 --> 01:43:57,362
♪ Up to Provincetown ♪
2127
01:43:58,113 --> 01:44:02,534
♪ Where, for years, the
deviant boys Have run around ♪
2128
01:44:02,618 --> 01:44:05,746
♪ 'Cause love is not love ♪
2129
01:44:06,580 --> 01:44:10,000
♪ Our love is real ♪
2130
01:44:10,834 --> 01:44:15,422
♪ And I'm nervous as hell
To tell you how I feel ♪
2131
01:44:17,549 --> 01:44:23,430
♪ 'Cause after all these
years Of running 'round ♪
2132
01:44:23,514 --> 01:44:28,519
♪ It's nice to have
somebody Slow it down ♪
2133
01:44:28,602 --> 01:44:31,855
♪ 'Cause love is not love ♪
2134
01:44:31,939 --> 01:44:35,359
♪ Our love is free ♪
2135
01:44:36,527 --> 01:44:41,198
♪ I'll let you be you
And you let me be me ♪
2136
01:44:42,407 --> 01:44:44,868
♪ And we can
wrestle on the bed ♪
2137
01:44:44,952 --> 01:44:47,871
♪ I love when you pin
me to the ground ♪
2138
01:44:47,955 --> 01:44:51,083
♪ But if I tell you How
much I love you, boy ♪
2139
01:44:51,166 --> 01:44:53,710
♪ Will you stick around? ♪
2140
01:44:53,794 --> 01:44:56,713
♪ And you can lift me up ♪
2141
01:44:56,797 --> 01:44:59,675
♪ And I will calm you down ♪
2142
01:44:59,758 --> 01:45:02,177
♪ I've made a lot of noise ♪
2143
01:45:02,261 --> 01:45:05,472
♪ But only you can hear me now ♪
2144
01:45:08,600 --> 01:45:11,770
♪ 'Cause love is not love ♪
2145
01:45:11,854 --> 01:45:14,731
♪ This love is real ♪
2146
01:45:16,358 --> 01:45:21,280
♪ I hope you feel the same
'Cause this is how I feel ♪
2147
01:45:22,406 --> 01:45:25,784
♪ And I'm tired of
being angry, babe ♪
2148
01:45:25,868 --> 01:45:28,036
♪ And I'm sick of being strong ♪
2149
01:45:28,120 --> 01:45:33,083
♪ And I know a lot of cynical
assholes Who will hate this song ♪
2150
01:45:34,126 --> 01:45:37,296
♪ 'Cause it's an open heart ♪
2151
01:45:37,379 --> 01:45:40,465
♪ It's a second chance ♪
2152
01:45:40,549 --> 01:45:42,926
♪ It's finding your first love ♪
2153
01:45:43,010 --> 01:45:45,596
♪ As a 40-year-old man ♪
2154
01:45:45,679 --> 01:45:49,266
♪ And we don't have
to get married, babe ♪
2155
01:45:49,349 --> 01:45:52,144
♪ This is our romance ♪
2156
01:45:52,227 --> 01:45:54,980
♪ And just because we're gay ♪
2157
01:45:55,063 --> 01:46:00,235
♪ Doesn't mean we
have to dance ♪
2158
01:46:01,069 --> 01:46:05,365
♪ 'Cause love is not ♪
2159
01:46:05,449 --> 01:46:09,036
♪ Love is not ♪
2160
01:46:09,828 --> 01:46:15,918
♪ Love is not… ♪
2161
01:46:18,629 --> 01:46:21,173
♪ Love ♪
2162
01:46:32,226 --> 01:46:33,560
Bobby, I just have
to tell you...
2163
01:46:33,644 --> 01:46:35,812
In all my years, I never
thought I'd say this.
2164
01:46:35,896 --> 01:46:38,482
But, Debra Messing,
it'll have to wait.
2165
01:46:38,565 --> 01:46:40,567
[crowd gasping]
2166
01:46:44,071 --> 01:46:46,490
[crowd murmuring]
2167
01:46:47,574 --> 01:46:49,117
What's wrong?
2168
01:46:49,201 --> 01:46:51,453
I just really love you.
2169
01:46:52,829 --> 01:46:54,248
I love you too.
2170
01:46:54,331 --> 01:46:55,767
[in macho voice]
You like love, bro?
2171
01:46:55,791 --> 01:46:56,792
Oh, yeah.
2172
01:47:00,087 --> 01:47:01,129
- Wait.
- Wha...
2173
01:47:01,755 --> 01:47:03,841
- [crowd murmuring]
- [Aaron] Oh…
2174
01:47:05,342 --> 01:47:06,342
What are you...
2175
01:47:06,385 --> 01:47:07,761
Just let me do this.
2176
01:47:08,637 --> 01:47:11,139
Um… Oh, shit. I need a ring.
2177
01:47:12,599 --> 01:47:13,600
Bob... Bobby...
2178
01:47:13,684 --> 01:47:15,604
- [Bobby] Tamara, can I borrow your ring?
- Yeah.
2179
01:47:15,644 --> 01:47:16,645
Thank you.
2180
01:47:16,728 --> 01:47:18,730
- Bobby, I...
- Aaron Shepard,
2181
01:47:19,439 --> 01:47:21,608
I know we're not
relationship people,
2182
01:47:23,569 --> 01:47:26,321
but will you date me for three
months, and then we'll reassess?
2183
01:47:26,405 --> 01:47:27,739
[laughter]
2184
01:47:29,449 --> 01:47:30,450
Yes, Bobby Leiber,
2185
01:47:30,534 --> 01:47:33,203
I will date you for three
months, and then we can reassess.
2186
01:47:33,287 --> 01:47:36,331
[crowd laughing, applauding]
2187
01:47:38,000 --> 01:47:39,751
Mommy, what's happening?
2188
01:47:39,835 --> 01:47:40,919
It's a miracle.
2189
01:47:41,003 --> 01:47:43,422
Uncle Bobby's gonna date
someone for three months.
2190
01:47:43,505 --> 01:47:46,800
[cheering]
2191
01:47:56,810 --> 01:47:58,121
- [beeping]
- [upbeat music playing]
2192
01:47:58,145 --> 01:47:59,188
Hey, queers!
2193
01:47:59,271 --> 01:48:01,148
I'm the museum guard here.
2194
01:48:01,899 --> 01:48:03,609
Just gonna do some dusting.
2195
01:48:03,692 --> 01:48:04,693
[gasps]
2196
01:48:05,527 --> 01:48:07,863
Hello. What are you
doing dusting me?
2197
01:48:08,614 --> 01:48:11,992
I'm lesbian First Lady,
Eleanor Roosevelt.
2198
01:48:13,911 --> 01:48:16,997
Hi, I'm Seth Meyers
as Harvey Milk.
2199
01:48:17,581 --> 01:48:21,835
Hello, I'm Kenan Thompson
as James Baldwin.
2200
01:48:21,919 --> 01:48:25,214
It's a Night at the Gay Museum.
2201
01:48:25,297 --> 01:48:26,298
Come here.
2202
01:48:26,381 --> 01:48:31,011
♪ Everybody's free
to feel good ♪
2203
01:48:33,889 --> 01:48:39,144
♪ Everybody's free
to feel good ♪
2204
01:48:42,606 --> 01:48:48,278
♪ Brother and sister Together
we'll make it through ♪
2205
01:48:50,239 --> 01:48:56,245
♪ Someday a spirit will lift
you And take you there ♪
2206
01:48:57,454 --> 01:49:02,960
♪ Everybody's free
to feel good ♪
2207
01:49:06,129 --> 01:49:07,339
[Mrs. Shepard] Aaron?
2208
01:49:07,422 --> 01:49:08,632
Mom.
2209
01:49:09,258 --> 01:49:11,385
- Bobby.
- Hi.
2210
01:49:11,468 --> 01:49:14,346
- Bobby, this is spectacular.
- Thank you.
2211
01:49:14,429 --> 01:49:15,764
And the kids are loving it.
2212
01:49:15,848 --> 01:49:16,849
I'm so glad you're here.
2213
01:49:16,932 --> 01:49:20,078
It means so much to me that you would
make it part of your trip, it really does.
2214
01:49:20,102 --> 01:49:22,855
You were right. Of course,
they should see this.
2215
01:49:22,938 --> 01:49:24,773
It's their history too.
2216
01:49:27,317 --> 01:49:28,735
Congrats!
2217
01:49:28,819 --> 01:49:31,363
You're a four on
the Kinsey Scale.
2218
01:49:31,446 --> 01:49:32,739
You're a bisexual.
2219
01:49:33,740 --> 01:49:35,200
Well.
2220
01:49:35,284 --> 01:49:37,160
- Bye!
- Bye!
2221
01:49:37,244 --> 01:49:39,538
Thanks for teaching
me about Liberace!
2222
01:49:39,621 --> 01:49:41,081
Any time!
2223
01:49:43,500 --> 01:49:45,544
You know, we just
hit three months.
2224
01:49:45,627 --> 01:49:47,004
How do you think it's going?
2225
01:49:47,087 --> 01:49:49,047
I think it's going pretty well.
2226
01:49:49,840 --> 01:49:51,008
How do you think it's going?
2227
01:49:51,091 --> 01:49:52,551
I think it's going
pretty well too.
2228
01:49:53,135 --> 01:49:54,595
Well, good.
2229
01:49:54,678 --> 01:49:56,221
- Good job.
- Yeah.
2230
01:49:56,305 --> 01:49:58,682
- Bye, boys!
- [Aaron] Bye, Mom!
2231
01:49:59,266 --> 01:50:00,767
You want kids someday, right?
2232
01:50:00,851 --> 01:50:01,894
No.
2233
01:50:01,977 --> 01:50:03,645
- Bobby.
- Absolutely not.
2234
01:50:03,729 --> 01:50:04,855
- Oh, Bobby.
- No.
2235
01:50:04,938 --> 01:50:06,565
- Come on. Bobby.
- No. No.
2236
01:50:06,648 --> 01:50:07,649
Where are you going?
2237
01:50:07,733 --> 01:50:09,484
I'm not having children
wherever I'm going.
2238
01:50:09,568 --> 01:50:11,320
- Come on. I want kids.
- No, no.
2239
01:50:11,403 --> 01:50:13,780
♪ …when I was younger ♪
2240
01:50:13,864 --> 01:50:17,993
♪ That I should've just
danced When I didn't want to ♪
2241
01:50:18,744 --> 01:50:21,163
♪ But hindsight's 20/20 ♪
2242
01:50:21,246 --> 01:50:24,499
♪ What's a boy to do ♪
2243
01:50:24,583 --> 01:50:30,464
♪ With a story in my
head That's never true ♪
2244
01:50:30,756 --> 01:50:32,591
["Hindsight" continues playing]