1
00:00:27,999 --> 00:00:33,802
When l met you in the restaurant

2
00:00:33,899 --> 00:00:39,861
You could tell l
was no debutante

3
00:00:39,966 --> 00:00:44,369
You asked me what's
my pleasure

4
00:00:44,266 --> 00:00:47,064
A movie or a pleasure?

5
00:00:47,366 --> 00:00:50,130
l'll have a cup of tea

6
00:00:50,233 --> 00:00:54,727
And tell you of my dreaming

7
00:00:54,833 --> 00:00:57,734
Dreaming is free

8
00:00:57,833 --> 00:01:00,802
Dreaming

9
00:01:00,899 --> 00:01:03,960
Dreaming is free

10
00:01:04,066 --> 00:01:09,834
l don't want to live on charity

11
00:01:09,933 --> 00:01:14,529
Pleasure's real or is it fantasy?

12
00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:16,726
Hey, check this out.

13
00:01:16,833 --> 00:01:19,996
Everywhere l go, people
totally lose it.

14
00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:22,466
l'm Victoria English...

15
00:01:22,566 --> 00:01:25,330
sorority princess of
South Beach University.

16
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:28,834
And, oh, yeah, this year l've
gotta makeover a bunch...

17
00:01:28,933 --> 00:01:32,494
of clueless freshmen into
Gamma Gamma girls.

18
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,830
Oh, look at this
Shakira wannabe.

19
00:01:34,933 --> 00:01:36,093
See what l mean?

20
00:01:36,199 --> 00:01:38,668
She's taking a freaking
cab instead of a limo.

21
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,529
Not hot.

22
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:43,227
See, Gamma Gamma
sorority is in a contest...

23
00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:48,270
to become FHM Magazine's
hottest sorority in the country.

24
00:01:48,366 --> 00:01:51,858
Everyone wants to go to
South Beach University.

25
00:01:51,966 --> 00:01:55,402
A couple of years ago, they
let unhot people in here...

26
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:58,060
and things haven't been the same.

27
00:02:02,166 --> 00:02:05,067
l guess i'll just have to put
a blonde wig on this one.

28
00:02:07,598 --> 00:02:12,398
== The CollectorZ ==
2007

29
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:16,258
Daddy, stop the car here.

30
00:02:16,366 --> 00:02:18,766
- But there's a spot up front.
- Dad, this car is embarrassing.

31
00:02:18,866 --> 00:02:20,458
l don't want people to
think that l'm poor.

32
00:02:20,566 --> 00:02:23,034
Well, honey, you are poor.

33
00:02:23,133 --> 00:02:25,101
Look at this little minx.

34
00:02:25,199 --> 00:02:27,100
This is Kristen Ass.

35
00:02:27,199 --> 00:02:29,293
lf l'd have known she'd
come in that car,

36
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,197
l would have never
let her pledge.

37
00:02:37,466 --> 00:02:38,194
Excuse me.

38
00:02:38,299 --> 00:02:39,289
So there you have it.

39
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,528
A mission to turn the ''wannabes''
into the ''be wanteds.''

40
00:02:42,633 --> 00:02:43,861
Should be fun.

41
00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:51,796
Smell that?

42
00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:55,131
That, my friends, is the
smell of opportunity.

43
00:02:55,233 --> 00:02:59,363
Fresh, un-tapped poon tang.

44
00:02:59,466 --> 00:03:01,263
Did you just say poon tang?

45
00:03:01,366 --> 00:03:03,493
l mean, that's why they
call them freshmen!

46
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,967
Because their coochies
are fresh for all us men.

47
00:03:07,066 --> 00:03:08,124
What's going on?

48
00:03:08,233 --> 00:03:09,325
- Hello, ladies.
- Hi.

49
00:03:09,433 --> 00:03:12,095
Welcome to South Beach.

50
00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:14,498
l love fresh coochy!

51
00:03:16,699 --> 00:03:20,898
Victoria will be here in 45
seconds, ladies, so smarten up.

52
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,368
Whoa, whoa, whoa

53
00:03:24,466 --> 00:03:30,598
Whoa, whoa, whoa

54
00:03:30,699 --> 00:03:35,933
Got somebody, she's a beauty

55
00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:41,096
Very special, really and truly

56
00:03:41,199 --> 00:03:46,001
Take good care of me,
like it's her duty

57
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:49,433
Every year, school starts
when l pop out of my limo

58
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,524
and see my shadow.

59
00:03:51,633 --> 00:03:54,966
But l can't see my shadow
because l'm so thin.

60
00:03:55,066 --> 00:03:58,297
Gamma Gamma pledges
ready for inspection.

61
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,665
People say l shouldn't
torture my pledges.

62
00:04:01,766 --> 00:04:05,532
But l say, who says
Iearning can't be fun?

63
00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:08,261
Sweetie, do you have
any idea who l am?

64
00:04:08,366 --> 00:04:09,731
You're Victoria English.

65
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,698
And what do l do here?

66
00:04:11,799 --> 00:04:14,428
You're the president of the
Gamma Gamma house?

67
00:04:14,533 --> 00:04:16,660
And the ultimate role model
for every college girl

68
00:04:16,766 --> 00:04:18,393
on the face of the earth.

69
00:04:18,499 --> 00:04:20,127
Starting to like this one.

70
00:04:20,233 --> 00:04:23,134
Wait. Whose top is that?

71
00:04:23,233 --> 00:04:24,461
- Mine?
- No.

72
00:04:24,566 --> 00:04:26,295
Whose top is that,
gamma pledge?

73
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,163
Dolce and Gabbana.

74
00:04:28,266 --> 00:04:31,064
Ma'am, my top is Dolce
and Gabbana, ma'am.

75
00:04:31,166 --> 00:04:33,657
- It's Dolce and Gabbana.
- Don't you forget it.

76
00:04:39,499 --> 00:04:41,559
What the hell kind of
nail color is that?

77
00:04:41,666 --> 00:04:45,693
- It's ''cherries in the snow. ''
- So last week.

78
00:04:45,799 --> 00:04:48,268
Suck it off, Gamma pledge.

79
00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:49,993
l will, ma'am.

80
00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:58,234
You. The shoes.

81
00:04:58,333 --> 00:05:00,301
l saw those on sale
Iast week, didn't i?

82
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,834
No. My mom sent 'em to me.

83
00:05:02,933 --> 00:05:05,959
Those shoes are expired.
Totally unhot.

84
00:05:11,233 --> 00:05:13,565
Two out of three,
this is a disaster.

85
00:05:13,666 --> 00:05:15,861
- Morgan?
- Yes, Victoria? Ma'am.

86
00:05:15,966 --> 00:05:20,198
Please explain to these jackasses
what's at stake this year.

87
00:05:20,299 --> 00:05:21,824
Listen up, ladies.

88
00:05:21,933 --> 00:05:26,302
This year, FHM Magazine will be
selecting the hottest sorority

89
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,028
in the nation to be
featured on their cover...

90
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:32,625
and we are one of
five finalists.

91
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,258
And l'm not gonna let a bunch
of clueless pledges stand...

92
00:05:35,366 --> 00:05:38,028
in between me and the number
one spot in the country.

93
00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:40,624
- Is that clear?
- Yes, ma'am!

94
00:05:40,733 --> 00:05:42,758
Victoria, we may have
a little problem here.

95
00:05:42,866 --> 00:05:44,094
What?

96
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:49,399
''This year, the winning sorority
must embody diversification.''

97
00:05:49,499 --> 00:05:54,460
ln other words, geeks, nerds,
scientists--everybody.

98
00:05:57,799 --> 00:05:59,734
Problem solved.

99
00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:01,858
We'll just pledge some geeks.

100
00:06:01,966 --> 00:06:04,230
We will?

101
00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:09,498
And when we win the magazine
cover, let the fun begin.

102
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:14,936
Gamma Gamma Girl group hug!

103
00:06:15,033 --> 00:06:16,523
All right, that's enough.

104
00:06:16,633 --> 00:06:17,827
l like the love...

105
00:06:17,933 --> 00:06:20,197
but let's not get all Ellen
DeGeneres about it, okay?

106
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,500
lt's so good.

107
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:42,696
- Kristen?
- Gloria.

108
00:06:42,799 --> 00:06:45,735
Hi. What are you doing here?

109
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:47,425
Surprise!

110
00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:49,865
- Mr. Haas.
- Oh, hey, Gloria.

111
00:06:49,966 --> 00:06:51,934
- Hi.
- How are you? Nice to see you.

112
00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:53,057
Whoo!

113
00:06:53,166 --> 00:06:54,497
How are you doing?

114
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,999
- l'm great.
- What is this?

115
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:58,500
Well, l ran into Gloria's mom a
while back, and she mentioned...

116
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,091
she was coming to South Beach,
so l made a few phone calls...

117
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,896
and we arranged for
you two to live together.

118
00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:06,935
- Bingo!
- Wow, thanks, dad.

119
00:07:07,033 --> 00:07:09,627
- Yeah, unexpected.
- Full of surprises.

120
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,792
Well, l know what good
friends you two are.

121
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:14,300
- Were.
- Like, in the ninth grade.

122
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,867
You two get reacquainted...

123
00:07:15,966 --> 00:07:17,957
l'll go get the rest
of the bags, okay?

124
00:07:18,066 --> 00:07:23,003
- Sure.
- l'll be right back.

125
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:26,661
Are you sure this is
what you really want?

126
00:07:26,766 --> 00:07:29,234
l don't understand why you
have to live in the dorms...

127
00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:31,130
when we live in Coral Gables.

128
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,224
Oh, you don't understand.

129
00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:36,200
'Cause l don't understand why
you had to park your car...

130
00:07:36,299 --> 00:07:38,359
in someone else's garage.

131
00:07:38,466 --> 00:07:40,434
And by car, l mean cock.

132
00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:42,728
- Mommy, what's a--
- It's a rooster, honey.

133
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:46,990
Kathy, what do you
want me to say?

134
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,499
l keep telling you l'm sorry.

135
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,000
Yeah, you're sorry all right--
a sorry excuse for a husband.

136
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:53,762
Kids, mommy's going
away to college.

137
00:07:53,866 --> 00:07:55,231
And you know why?

138
00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:58,393
Daddy decided to sleep with some
little tramp from his office!

139
00:07:58,499 --> 00:08:00,195
Well, see you Thanksgiving.

140
00:08:00,299 --> 00:08:02,700
- Bye, kids.
- Bye. Love you.

141
00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:07,635
Hey, football, huh?
Anybody up for a gangbang?

142
00:08:07,733 --> 00:08:09,530
Kathy, Jesus Christ!

143
00:08:13,133 --> 00:08:14,122
- Victoria.

144
00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:16,827
- Baby Dick, l missed
you so much.

145
00:08:16,933 --> 00:08:19,663
Not as much as l missed you,
my little English muffin.

146
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,732
This is my new
boyfriend in training.

147
00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:30,596
He's already progressed
to week three.

148
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:31,689
Wow.

149
00:08:31,799 --> 00:08:37,033
And, ladies, he's my property,
so hands and eyes off.

150
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:39,863
Well, you can look.

151
00:08:39,966 --> 00:08:42,230
Now go and be a good boy,
and go get my luggage.

152
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,164
lt's been on the sidewalk
for ten minutes.

153
00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:45,597
Right away, princess.

154
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:51,161
Oh, and Baby D?
Gamsie needs to go potty.

155
00:08:51,266 --> 00:08:53,359
Okay.

156
00:08:56,366 --> 00:08:57,833
Thanks, bitch.

157
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,927
Hi there! l'm Kathy!

158
00:09:05,033 --> 00:09:08,127
l'm your roommate!

159
00:09:08,233 --> 00:09:10,463
Well, come here, you!

160
00:09:10,566 --> 00:09:13,296
Oh, it is so good to meet you.

161
00:09:13,399 --> 00:09:17,803
We are gonna be
BFF, you and me.

162
00:09:17,899 --> 00:09:21,495
- Maxine. Nice to meet you.
- Ooh, who's the hottie?

163
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,933
- That's my daddy.
- Dirty son of a bitch.

164
00:09:25,033 --> 00:09:28,230
Hey, roomie, do you know where
l could find some pot?

165
00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:29,994
- No.
- Ludes?

166
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,625
- No.
- Meth? Lsd? Pcp? Crack rocks?

167
00:09:32,733 --> 00:09:33,859
No!

168
00:09:33,966 --> 00:09:36,093
Well, looks like l'm gonna
have to kick it old school.

169
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,267
Ugh!

170
00:09:45,166 --> 00:09:48,795
- Here, let me help you unpack.
- No, not that bag!

171
00:09:48,899 --> 00:09:53,599
Hey, good idea. Sugar buzz!

172
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,594
This fool's lucky he didn't
walk into Gamma.

173
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:04,998
His pee-pee would've
Ieft on a stretcher.

174
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,159
Don't forget to call every night.

175
00:10:07,266 --> 00:10:09,097
l promise, Mom. Goodbye.

176
00:10:11,566 --> 00:10:14,160
Keep an eye on that girl.
l think she might be disturbed.

177
00:10:14,266 --> 00:10:16,234
Mom!

178
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:18,426
l'm so sorry about that.

179
00:10:18,533 --> 00:10:20,967
You know what moms are like.

180
00:10:21,066 --> 00:10:24,297
Yeah. Drunks with guns.

181
00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:28,302
- l'm Babs.
- Tonya.

182
00:10:30,533 --> 00:10:32,899
Open!

183
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:36,094
Um, hi there. l think we
found your roommate.

184
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,169
Yeah, we can't pronounce her
name. It sounds very exotic.

185
00:10:39,266 --> 00:10:44,260
- Uh, Senagarvar--
- Senagarvarapoopoo Ghandasini.

186
00:10:44,366 --> 00:10:46,834
Oh, PooPoo! That's cute.

187
00:10:46,933 --> 00:10:50,733
Very nice to make the
acquaintance to you.

188
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,994
'Sup? Monique. l like your style.

189
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,500
Hi, l'm Maxine.
'Sup, Maxine?

190
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,034
l'm Kathy, and l like to party.

191
00:10:58,133 --> 00:11:00,931
Good to know.
l'm here studying music.

192
00:11:01,033 --> 00:11:02,398
Word, homey.

193
00:11:02,499 --> 00:11:04,127
l'm just here to get even
with my husband.

194
00:11:04,233 --> 00:11:07,066
l'm gonna nail as many
guys as possible.

195
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,727
l'm just here for general
studies, for now.

196
00:11:10,833 --> 00:11:13,700
Hey, you girls wanna check
out my new boob job?

197
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,735
Doctor says they should
realign themselves...

198
00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:18,994
and the scarring should go
down in a few months.

199
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:23,127
l'm sure to land some man meat
with these milk bags, huh?

200
00:11:23,233 --> 00:11:27,795
When living together, blondes
and brunettes will always fight.

201
00:11:27,899 --> 00:11:32,599
You look a lot different than
the last time l saw you.

202
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,793
My solution? Let the blonde win.

203
00:11:34,899 --> 00:11:36,561
No, l mean you look good.

204
00:11:36,666 --> 00:11:37,963
Yeah.

205
00:11:38,066 --> 00:11:41,558
Listen, let's just be clear.

206
00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:43,566
We're not in ninth grade
anymore, okay?

207
00:11:43,666 --> 00:11:45,827
We're different people now.
At least l am.

208
00:11:45,933 --> 00:11:48,959
So let's not pretend we're gonna
be college buddies, okay?

209
00:11:49,066 --> 00:11:50,829
Just because you got yourself
some new clothes,

210
00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:53,333
and bleached your teeth,
and fixed your nose.

211
00:11:53,433 --> 00:11:55,298
l didn't get my nose fixed!

212
00:11:57,666 --> 00:11:58,963
God!

213
00:12:05,566 --> 00:12:07,033
Level-one, level-two,
Ievel-three, level-four.

214
00:12:07,133 --> 00:12:09,567
One, two, three, four.

215
00:12:09,666 --> 00:12:11,930
How many Red Bulls
did she drink?

216
00:12:12,033 --> 00:12:14,024
About the same as
me--nine or ten.

217
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,397
One, two, three, four.

218
00:12:16,499 --> 00:12:18,730
One, two, three, four.

219
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:20,300
One--ooh!

220
00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:27,630
No-no-no-no-no-no! PooPoo.

221
00:12:27,733 --> 00:12:31,829
No, honey. That's a vibrator.

222
00:12:31,933 --> 00:12:33,628
Without my guidance...

223
00:12:33,733 --> 00:12:36,759
girls look for love in
all the wrong places.

224
00:12:36,866 --> 00:12:39,767
lt's called the Platapussy.

225
00:12:39,866 --> 00:12:42,266
What is a Platapussy, please?

226
00:12:42,366 --> 00:12:43,833
Well... No-no-no.

227
00:12:43,933 --> 00:12:47,562
lt's okay, it won't hurt you.

228
00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:49,566
Who thinks it's time for PooPoo

229
00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:51,759
to meet her special little friend?

230
00:12:51,866 --> 00:12:54,926
- Ooh, l do.
- Right here.

231
00:12:55,033 --> 00:12:58,867
Well, it is an important
American tradition.

232
00:12:58,966 --> 00:13:00,797
Come on, sweetie.

233
00:13:00,899 --> 00:13:02,595
- Bye!
- Bye!

234
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:06,636
- Bye.
- Have a good time!

235
00:13:06,733 --> 00:13:10,396
No! No! No!

236
00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:13,128
Going at it like a little
hamster in there.

237
00:13:13,233 --> 00:13:18,762
- Yes! Yes! Oh! Oh!
- Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo!

238
00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:20,265
USA!

239
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,095
Oh! l love this country.

240
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,795
Oh! Ah, ah, ah!

241
00:13:25,899 --> 00:13:27,458
Go, America!

242
00:13:32,766 --> 00:13:35,701
l like this new
American Tradition.

243
00:13:48,033 --> 00:13:51,264
Let's check those
bad boys out.

244
00:13:51,366 --> 00:13:53,334
- Ready?
- Oh, yeah.

245
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,397
Look over here.

246
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:15,297
A time-honored college tradition
is ignoring the three-way...

247
00:14:15,399 --> 00:14:17,732
in the bathroom
stall behind you.

248
00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:21,428
How much does he wish these
lips were in that stall with him?

249
00:14:29,966 --> 00:14:32,935
What are you doing?

250
00:14:33,033 --> 00:14:36,434
My dog is such a perv.
l love it.

251
00:14:35,533 --> 00:14:37,262
Mmm. Now l'm craving sushi.

252
00:14:37,366 --> 00:14:38,890
Moshi Moshi.

253
00:14:49,399 --> 00:14:50,458
Paging Plumber Jones.

254
00:14:50,566 --> 00:14:51,965
Plumber Jones.

255
00:14:52,066 --> 00:14:55,502
What is the problem? Over.

256
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,932
There's a pipe blockage
in the girl's bathroom.

257
00:14:58,033 --> 00:14:59,864
We need you to
go check it out.

258
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,194
This problem is solved.

259
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,234
Signing off.

260
00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:08,327
Son, l realize you always wanted
to be a plumber like your old man.

261
00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:13,894
As long as people remain full of
shit, we'll have job security.

262
00:15:13,999 --> 00:15:15,126
Stay here.

263
00:15:20,633 --> 00:15:21,861
l'm coming!

264
00:15:25,666 --> 00:15:27,327
lt's a lovely smile, isn't it?

265
00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:30,027
Now, cleanliness is
next to godliness.

266
00:15:30,133 --> 00:15:32,727
l have been supervisor of this
dorm for over 27 years...

267
00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:35,461
and l take personal pride in
maintaining a sanitary

268
00:15:35,566 --> 00:15:37,329
and a wholesome environment.

269
00:15:37,433 --> 00:15:39,924
The rules of the dormitory
are very simple.

270
00:15:40,033 --> 00:15:42,467
One: Although this is
a coed college...

271
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,898
this is not a coed dormitory.

272
00:15:44,999 --> 00:15:47,400
Any sexual touching
is forbidden.

273
00:15:47,499 --> 00:15:50,765
Two: a good student
is a clean student...

274
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:53,027
and that must be reflected
in their environment.

275
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:56,460
What is wrong with you?

276
00:15:56,566 --> 00:15:59,558
l gotta pee so bad my
back teeth are floating.

277
00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:01,133
Lucky there's a
potty right here.

278
00:16:03,133 --> 00:16:04,896
Hurry. We don't
want any accidents.

279
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,901
Sit on the paper if
you are going to sit.

280
00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:26,333
l think she needs
more toilet paper.

281
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:27,365
Help!

282
00:16:27,466 --> 00:16:30,026
Go, go! Hurry!

283
00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:31,691
l'm going down the gurgler.

284
00:16:31,799 --> 00:16:33,700
Grab her legs.

285
00:16:33,799 --> 00:16:36,132
Just hold on.

286
00:16:36,233 --> 00:16:37,996
l don't want to die.

287
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:41,297
Oh, sweet Jesus, do not
let me die in here.

288
00:16:45,399 --> 00:16:48,130
l'm stuck, and the
toilet's eating me.

289
00:16:50,433 --> 00:16:54,301
- Can you please hurry up?
- We're gonna get you outta there.

290
00:16:54,399 --> 00:16:55,628
You hang on.

291
00:17:01,866 --> 00:17:03,390
Oh, no!

292
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,764
lt's a 10.2 on the shitter scale!

293
00:17:05,866 --> 00:17:07,458
lt's never gone this high before!

294
00:17:07,566 --> 00:17:09,796
l have no idea what that means.

295
00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:16,970
Everybody run!

296
00:17:17,066 --> 00:17:18,829
What the hell is wrong
with that man?

297
00:17:18,933 --> 00:17:21,458
Get down!

298
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:26,162
Oh, shit!

299
00:17:29,666 --> 00:17:31,327
Oh, my god!

300
00:17:44,099 --> 00:17:47,501
l am closing down
this dormitory.

301
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:50,660
All of you get out!

302
00:17:57,466 --> 00:18:01,800
lt's just like when l used to live
next to the methane plant.

303
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:03,834
Please step back. We just had
a plumbing emergency....

304
00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:06,367
causing the fat girl
to go sky high.

305
00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:08,798
Strangely we found a
Dolce & Gabbana top...

306
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,197
stuffed down the pipes.

307
00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:11,494
Holy shit.

308
00:18:11,599 --> 00:18:12,862
This stuff happens all the time.

309
00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:13,990
There's nothing to see here.

310
00:18:14,099 --> 00:18:16,034
School'll take care of
all your bathroom needs.

311
00:18:16,133 --> 00:18:18,124
Why does it smell
like hot ass?

312
00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:20,758
That would be the
gas escaping.

313
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,834
So where are we gonna
stay 'til it gets fixed?

314
00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:25,060
School has arranged
for housing vouchers.

315
00:18:25,166 --> 00:18:28,226
l can't believe the school is
only giving us _200 a month.

316
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:31,131
You can't even get a
cardboard box for that.

317
00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:33,201
What if we pool all our money?

318
00:18:33,299 --> 00:18:36,997
Don't look at me, guys. l'm still
saving up for ass implants.

319
00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:40,399
There's nothing affordable unless
you commute from the swamp.

320
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:42,229
Hey, girls.

321
00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:44,164
What about a sorority?

322
00:18:44,266 --> 00:18:47,531
Hey, great idea. A sorority.

323
00:18:47,633 --> 00:18:49,567
That's like flypaper
for horny guys.

324
00:18:49,666 --> 00:18:50,963
Yeah.

325
00:18:51,066 --> 00:18:52,556
lf we all did it
together, it'd be fun.

326
00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:53,792
l don't know, Max.

327
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,698
l don't think l'm really down
with the whole sorority thing.

328
00:18:56,799 --> 00:19:01,362
Aren't sororities supposed to be
about friendships and bonding?

329
00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:03,991
We could at least check it out.

330
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:07,627
lt's either that or a commute
from the swamp.

331
00:19:07,733 --> 00:19:10,224
There are so many
temptations out there...

332
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:13,097
like drugs, alcohol, and boys.

333
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,067
l'd like to introduce you
to a different kind of boy.

334
00:19:16,166 --> 00:19:17,758
l think you're really
gonna like him.

335
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:20,562
He's smart, he's funny,
and he's really cool.

336
00:19:20,666 --> 00:19:21,928
The coolest.

337
00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:24,934
His name is Jesus, and he just
wants to hang with you guys.

338
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:27,365
Welcome to Kappa!

339
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,426
Can l ask a question?

340
00:19:33,533 --> 00:19:35,228
Was he circumcised?

341
00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:37,494
l mean, he's a Jew,
but he's a Christian.

342
00:19:37,599 --> 00:19:39,124
What's the deal with that?

343
00:19:43,799 --> 00:19:45,893
No, l, uh...

344
00:19:48,733 --> 00:19:51,065
Very nice to meet you.

345
00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:52,599
They're dykes.

346
00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:56,599
l love curry fish.

347
00:19:56,700 --> 00:20:00,158
l think we've taken up enough
of these ladies' valuable time.

348
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:03,929
Where you going?
We're gonna play spin the bottle!

349
00:20:04,033 --> 00:20:06,297
You guys can pledge if you want.

350
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,061
We only have one rule.

351
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:11,658
lf you're gonna kill yourselves,
make sure you tell us in advance.

352
00:20:11,766 --> 00:20:13,893
So we can plan the party.

353
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,230
Yeah.

354
00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:19,166
Love what you've
done with the place.

355
00:20:19,266 --> 00:20:22,326
Very cozy.

356
00:20:22,433 --> 00:20:27,063
Once you cross the doors at Phi
Iota Gamma, you will never again

357
00:20:27,166 --> 00:20:30,397
have to worry about what to
wear in order to be accepted.

358
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,858
Big hug!

359
00:20:34,966 --> 00:20:37,457
Oh, my god.

360
00:20:37,566 --> 00:20:39,227
We're so out of here.

361
00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:40,925
No, girls., come back.

362
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:43,627
Please. The sisterhood needs you.

363
00:21:05,466 --> 00:21:07,627
#  One, two, three four #

364
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:11,225
#  l did something last night
that you don't know #

365
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:13,733
Hey, it's the madman.

366
00:21:13,833 --> 00:21:16,063
- Check it, dog.
- Yeah, what up?

367
00:21:16,166 --> 00:21:18,862
Listen. Huge party at
the Gamma's house.

368
00:21:18,966 --> 00:21:21,230
You're going.
Don't say nothing, all right?

369
00:21:21,333 --> 00:21:24,461
You know l'm gonna
sign that check, dog.

370
00:21:27,866 --> 00:21:29,925
Check you later, dude.

371
00:21:30,033 --> 00:21:33,332
#  If only l could tell you
one, two, three, four #

372
00:21:33,433 --> 00:21:35,458
Oh, snap!

373
00:21:35,566 --> 00:21:37,090
Rappers!

374
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,667
Chicks love rappers, right?

375
00:21:38,766 --> 00:21:40,859
Yeah, yeah. In those videos
they always got bitches.

376
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,365
Bitches and hoes.

377
00:21:42,466 --> 00:21:43,398
Check this out.

378
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:45,491
Yo, yo, you're cold.
You're old.

379
00:21:45,599 --> 00:21:49,195
Your mom's got mold. Her teeth
are gold, and brown and...

380
00:21:49,299 --> 00:21:51,996
That didn't rhyme.
l'm gonna check that out.

381
00:21:52,099 --> 00:21:53,761
l'm gonna fix that,
but it's gonna be good.

382
00:21:53,866 --> 00:21:54,594
Yeah.

383
00:21:56,133 --> 00:21:58,693
What's crackin' there, baby?
We're in South Beach...

384
00:21:58,799 --> 00:22:02,292
where it's so hot the girls
get undressed naturally.

385
00:22:10,733 --> 00:22:12,462
l was thinking about
taking a swim...

386
00:22:12,566 --> 00:22:15,501
but now i'll have to drain
and disinfect the pool.

387
00:22:19,233 --> 00:22:20,393
What?

388
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:23,264
ls everyone from
MySpace in my pool?

389
00:22:23,366 --> 00:22:25,095
Oh, my God.

390
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:29,136
l know for a fact that
girl has syphilis.

391
00:22:29,233 --> 00:22:31,394
She's so beautiful.

392
00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:33,991
l'm gonna pull a muscle if l
have to keep smiling like this.

393
00:22:34,099 --> 00:22:36,295
l heard her dad
is a billionaire.

394
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,459
l heard her dad bought France.

395
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:40,898
Have you seen her boyfriend?
He's hot.

396
00:22:44,133 --> 00:22:46,966
Clue, what's up?
Howsa howsa?

397
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:48,863
Who let that loser in here?

398
00:22:48,966 --> 00:22:50,934
Big-ass titties for ya!

399
00:22:51,033 --> 00:22:52,364
That's hot.

400
00:22:52,466 --> 00:22:55,230
Aw, man.

401
00:22:55,333 --> 00:22:58,325
This is embarrassing.

402
00:22:58,433 --> 00:23:02,096
lf l was a real queen, l'd have
that dickless wonder beheaded.

403
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,862
Speaking of dickless.

404
00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:06,797
Why do you have always
have to bring Dax here?

405
00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:08,197
Baby.

406
00:23:08,299 --> 00:23:10,234
Princess.

407
00:23:10,333 --> 00:23:12,130
Dax is my boy.

408
00:23:12,233 --> 00:23:16,795
We go way back, like... car seats.

409
00:23:16,900 --> 00:23:19,425
That is so corny.

410
00:23:19,533 --> 00:23:21,262
Where you going?

411
00:23:21,366 --> 00:23:23,425
Downstairs.

412
00:23:23,533 --> 00:23:25,467
l have people waiting for me.

413
00:23:25,566 --> 00:23:27,261
Come here for a sec, baby.

414
00:23:27,366 --> 00:23:29,163
l got something l
want to show you.

415
00:23:29,266 --> 00:23:33,828
And it rhymes with ''my renis.''

416
00:23:33,933 --> 00:23:36,265
And keep my public waiting?

417
00:23:36,366 --> 00:23:37,924
Unlikely, Derek.

418
00:23:38,033 --> 00:23:39,364
Come on, baby.

419
00:23:39,466 --> 00:23:41,366
We haven't hooked
up in like a week.

420
00:23:41,466 --> 00:23:44,162
My balls miss your chin.

421
00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:55,860
You know l can't
resist Little Derek.

422
00:23:55,966 --> 00:23:57,490
Little?

423
00:23:57,599 --> 00:23:59,932
Tiny. Like a baby's dick.

424
00:24:00,033 --> 00:24:02,194
Who's your baby dick?

425
00:24:02,299 --> 00:24:03,631
- You are.
- Yeah.

426
00:24:03,733 --> 00:24:06,099
- Tie me up, huh?
- Yeah.

427
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,692
- Oh, yeah. Baby.
- Tie it up.

428
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,095
Close your eyes.

429
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,031
Okay.

430
00:24:19,133 --> 00:24:21,328
Oh, baby.

431
00:24:21,433 --> 00:24:23,901
- You like that?
- Yeah.

432
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,935
Oh, baby, you're
driving me crazy.

433
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,630
Oh, Hell no.
The whipped cream?

434
00:24:35,733 --> 00:24:40,966
Baby, you're bringing
out the freak in me.

435
00:24:41,066 --> 00:24:44,661
You be a good little boy
and keep your eyes closed.

436
00:24:44,766 --> 00:24:48,099
l'm gonna keep one eye open,
if you know what l'm sayin'.

437
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,292
Huh?

438
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,368
Just don't open
them or l'll stop.

439
00:24:51,466 --> 00:24:52,592
Okay.

440
00:24:54,966 --> 00:24:57,560
God, you're driving me crazy.

441
00:24:57,666 --> 00:24:58,758
Oh, yeah.

442
00:24:58,866 --> 00:25:01,198
Come over here and get
some of this baby dick.

443
00:25:01,299 --> 00:25:04,497
Close your eyes.

444
00:25:04,599 --> 00:25:07,228
Aw, l hate giving my dog
such a small bone.

445
00:25:07,333 --> 00:25:08,766
Baby.

446
00:25:08,866 --> 00:25:11,266
Oh, god! Feels so good.

447
00:25:13,166 --> 00:25:14,895
You're an animal.

448
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,365
Whoo!

449
00:25:16,466 --> 00:25:17,626
Sandpaper time.

450
00:25:17,733 --> 00:25:18,961
l like that shit.

451
00:25:19,066 --> 00:25:20,795
Ow, that hurts! Do it again.

452
00:25:23,033 --> 00:25:24,557
Oh, my God.

453
00:25:24,666 --> 00:25:26,463
Did you hear his accent?

454
00:25:26,566 --> 00:25:29,558
l know. l love irish accents.

455
00:25:29,666 --> 00:25:32,897
l would totally let him
do me in the butt.

456
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,968
Ew!

457
00:25:35,066 --> 00:25:36,829
Me, too.

458
00:25:36,933 --> 00:25:39,424
lrish accent.

459
00:25:39,533 --> 00:25:41,524
Butt sex.

460
00:25:41,633 --> 00:25:44,397
l need an Irish accent.

461
00:25:44,500 --> 00:25:47,094
World famous DJ Clue,
Desert Storm...

462
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:48,724
Scott Danimal in the building.

463
00:25:48,833 --> 00:25:51,825
And Gamma Gammas, l would
like introduce your princess,

464
00:25:51,933 --> 00:25:54,333
the lovely Victoria English.

465
00:25:56,266 --> 00:25:57,893
Thank you.

466
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,298
l have an announcement to make.

467
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,129
Gamma Gamma was
selected as a finalist

468
00:26:02,233 --> 00:26:04,827
in FHM's hottest sorority contest.

469
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,332
Everybody have a great
time at my party.

470
00:26:12,433 --> 00:26:14,867
Rock on to DJ Clue.

471
00:26:14,966 --> 00:26:19,494
Yeah, ya'll, let's get the party
started Desert Storm-style, baby!

472
00:26:19,599 --> 00:26:22,034
Someone's getting
their stick licked.

473
00:26:22,133 --> 00:26:23,998
Fuck, that hurt! Do that again.

474
00:26:24,099 --> 00:26:26,364
Oh, yeah.

475
00:26:26,466 --> 00:26:29,765
Don't fucking look at me like that.

476
00:26:29,866 --> 00:26:32,198
Sounds like my mom and dad.

477
00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:33,790
Oh, yeah.

478
00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,731
Go under the carriage, baby.

479
00:26:35,833 --> 00:26:39,667
God, baby, that feels
so fucking good.

480
00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:40,790
Oh, yeah.

481
00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:42,197
Oh, my God.

482
00:26:42,299 --> 00:26:44,291
Fuck, that hurt.

483
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:45,526
Do that again.

484
00:26:45,633 --> 00:26:47,567
Oh, yeah.

485
00:26:47,666 --> 00:26:49,293
Damn.

486
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,061
lt's a fucking dog, dude!

487
00:26:51,166 --> 00:26:52,190
Oh, baby.

488
00:26:52,299 --> 00:26:53,597
Oh, my god.

489
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:55,395
- Fuck, that hurt!
- That's nasty.

490
00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:57,525
Put your pointer in my
purple starfish, baby.

491
00:26:57,633 --> 00:26:58,964
Oh, yeah, that's it.

492
00:26:59,066 --> 00:27:00,431
l think.

493
00:27:00,533 --> 00:27:01,932
Are you ready for the smoothie?

494
00:27:03,599 --> 00:27:05,033
Come here, gamsie.

495
00:27:05,133 --> 00:27:06,259
Come here.

496
00:27:18,333 --> 00:27:19,459
What's up, derek?

497
00:27:19,566 --> 00:27:21,466
How's your girl? l
mean, your bitch.

498
00:27:21,566 --> 00:27:24,433
l heard they've got a fine cocker
spaniel at the Kappa house.

499
00:27:24,533 --> 00:27:25,522
And you know what?

500
00:27:25,633 --> 00:27:29,592
She likes it ruff!

501
00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:32,897
Say, we're just doggin' with ya.

502
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,195
Yeah, yuk it up all
you want, clowns.

503
00:27:35,299 --> 00:27:38,133
'Cause at the end of the
day, l still got Victoria,

504
00:27:38,233 --> 00:27:40,895
and you got fingered by
Father Mulrooney.

505
00:27:43,566 --> 00:27:45,193
Fuck you!

506
00:27:45,299 --> 00:27:47,291
Bro, you gotta leave
your past behind.

507
00:27:48,666 --> 00:27:50,327
That was interesting.

508
00:27:50,433 --> 00:27:52,867
Top o' the mornin' to ya!

509
00:27:52,966 --> 00:27:55,526
l'm an exchange student
from the Emerald Isle.

510
00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:56,895
You're from Ireland?

511
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,025
Aye! That l am--from Ireland.

512
00:27:59,133 --> 00:28:00,896
That's such a coincidence.
She's from Ireland, too.

513
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,730
That's right.
l'm from Galway.

514
00:28:03,833 --> 00:28:05,664
Where you hail from?

515
00:28:05,766 --> 00:28:11,500
Uh, l'm from, uh,
South... Middle Earth.

516
00:28:11,599 --> 00:28:13,465
Nice try, Frodo.

517
00:28:13,566 --> 00:28:14,760
Later.

518
00:28:14,866 --> 00:28:15,992
Wait!

519
00:28:16,099 --> 00:28:17,089
Don't leave yet.

520
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,724
Don't you want to
taste my shillaley?

521
00:28:18,833 --> 00:28:20,164
You're disgustin'.

522
00:28:20,266 --> 00:28:23,758
When l look around this class of
talented students, what do l see?

523
00:28:23,866 --> 00:28:28,462
l see a future of Dolce's,
Gabbana's, Chloe's and Prada's.

524
00:28:28,566 --> 00:28:31,467
lf l wanted to get an
''A'' in fashion class,

525
00:28:31,566 --> 00:28:33,830
l would have walked in naked.

526
00:28:33,933 --> 00:28:40,702
This slow motion helps, so you
can get a good look, you pervs.

527
00:28:40,799 --> 00:28:43,667
So sorry l'm late, Lisa.

528
00:28:43,766 --> 00:28:46,599
The lady doing my
pedicure took forever.

529
00:28:46,700 --> 00:28:49,225
Hi, Victoria. We were just
discussing your work.

530
00:28:51,900 --> 00:28:55,063
- Nice job as always.
- Thank you.

531
00:28:55,166 --> 00:28:59,296
However, l was especially
impressed by the freshness

532
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,630
of this designer's work.

533
00:29:06,866 --> 00:29:09,232
Are those clothes for Muppets?

534
00:29:09,333 --> 00:29:14,930
Now who may l say is
responsible for these?

535
00:29:15,033 --> 00:29:18,434
Gloria Torres.

536
00:29:22,033 --> 00:29:24,001
Great job, Gloria.

537
00:29:24,099 --> 00:29:25,897
Thanks.

538
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:30,164
Note to self: fire design team.

539
00:29:30,266 --> 00:29:32,530
Check out these freshman.
They're so hot.

540
00:29:32,633 --> 00:29:34,362
Cut it out, man.
You're gonna get me in trouble.

541
00:29:34,466 --> 00:29:35,763
What happened to you, man?

542
00:29:35,866 --> 00:29:37,197
What ever happened to the guy
that fucked Denise Reynolds

543
00:29:37,299 --> 00:29:39,029
in front of her grandparents?

544
00:29:39,133 --> 00:29:40,691
l miss that guy.

545
00:29:40,799 --> 00:29:42,631
l'm still here.

546
00:29:42,733 --> 00:29:45,065
Ugh. Shoot.

547
00:29:45,166 --> 00:29:47,259
Damn.

548
00:29:47,366 --> 00:29:48,663
That's hot.

549
00:29:50,833 --> 00:29:52,562
Damn.

550
00:29:52,666 --> 00:29:54,327
- Think she's hot?
- Who?

551
00:29:54,433 --> 00:29:56,128
That Mexican broad
you were staring at.

552
00:29:56,233 --> 00:29:58,463
Actually, l think
she's Portuguese.

553
00:29:58,566 --> 00:30:00,534
Shut the fuck up, Dax!

554
00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:03,568
And you... you stay
away from that bitch.

555
00:30:08,700 --> 00:30:10,964
Bye.

556
00:30:11,066 --> 00:30:14,968
Daddy, darling, will you do Queen
Victoria the hugest favor?

557
00:30:15,066 --> 00:30:17,466
l need my fashion design
teacher killed.

558
00:30:17,566 --> 00:30:19,397
Oh, really?

559
00:30:19,500 --> 00:30:22,230
Well then l want that
fucking bitch fired.

560
00:30:22,333 --> 00:30:23,630
Thank you, Daddy.

561
00:30:23,733 --> 00:30:25,064
l love you.

562
00:30:25,166 --> 00:30:27,498
#  Back home #

563
00:30:27,599 --> 00:30:29,329
#  Back home #

564
00:30:29,433 --> 00:30:30,832
You know what, girls?

565
00:30:30,933 --> 00:30:33,367
There is one place that
we haven't tried yet.

566
00:30:39,099 --> 00:30:40,624
Wow.

567
00:30:44,299 --> 00:30:45,824
Gamma Gamma.

568
00:30:45,933 --> 00:30:49,198
Damn, It looks like
some MTV crib shit.

569
00:30:49,299 --> 00:30:50,927
My cooter's tingling.

570
00:30:51,033 --> 00:30:54,434
l think there might
be boys in there.

571
00:30:54,533 --> 00:30:56,398
We need to get a door guy.

572
00:30:56,500 --> 00:30:58,991
Better yet, a human bug zapper.

573
00:30:59,099 --> 00:31:02,126
Oh, my God, that dress is so hot.

574
00:31:02,233 --> 00:31:03,325
Thank you.

575
00:31:03,433 --> 00:31:05,560
That must have cost
hundreds of dollars.

576
00:31:05,666 --> 00:31:07,691
Try thousands of hundreds.

577
00:31:07,799 --> 00:31:10,894
So don't go looking for
it in any Sears catalog.

578
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,230
That's what l meant.

579
00:31:13,333 --> 00:31:15,324
Thousands... hundreds.

580
00:31:17,099 --> 00:31:19,830
Oh, Morgan.

581
00:31:19,933 --> 00:31:23,369
We'd like to pledge
your sorority, please.

582
00:31:23,466 --> 00:31:26,731
lf it's not too much trouble,
l'd like a room with a bidet.

583
00:31:26,833 --> 00:31:30,462
Could you guys hold
on for a second?

584
00:31:30,566 --> 00:31:34,525
l think she likes us.

585
00:31:34,633 --> 00:31:40,833
Someone left a mess on our front
door, and it wants to pledge.

586
00:31:44,666 --> 00:31:47,692
Look at this place.
It's just heaven on earth.

587
00:31:47,799 --> 00:31:50,462
And it's so pink.

588
00:31:50,566 --> 00:31:54,024
We could have one hell
of an orgy in here, gals.

589
00:31:54,133 --> 00:31:56,226
What do you think, girls?

590
00:31:56,333 --> 00:31:59,598
Are they Gamma material?

591
00:31:59,700 --> 00:32:01,759
l think we should let them pledge.

592
00:32:01,866 --> 00:32:03,595
- And you are?
- Kristen.

593
00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:06,168
Kristen Haas.

594
00:32:06,266 --> 00:32:10,168
And why do you think we should
let them pledge, Kristen Ass?

595
00:32:10,266 --> 00:32:16,728
Because, um... because they
could be our diversity.

596
00:32:16,833 --> 00:32:18,323
Hot.

597
00:32:18,433 --> 00:32:20,060
She's right.

598
00:32:20,166 --> 00:32:22,862
Gamma's about acceptance
and individuality.

599
00:32:22,966 --> 00:32:24,524
Who are we to discriminate?

600
00:32:24,633 --> 00:32:26,157
Bring them in.

601
00:32:26,266 --> 00:32:27,631
Good idea, Kristen Haas.

602
00:32:27,733 --> 00:32:29,724
Nice hair.

603
00:32:29,833 --> 00:32:31,960
Yeah, thanks. Shut the door.

604
00:32:32,066 --> 00:32:36,059
Morgan, can you get the girls
some champagne, please?

605
00:32:41,266 --> 00:32:43,461
l'd like to lick her all over.

606
00:32:43,566 --> 00:32:45,466
l heard about your
housing situation.

607
00:32:45,566 --> 00:32:47,966
lt's so unfortunate.

608
00:32:48,066 --> 00:32:53,629
And that's why we'd like
to offer you an early bid.

609
00:32:53,733 --> 00:32:56,861
Normally we don't let
pledges move right in...

610
00:32:56,966 --> 00:33:00,458
but in your case, l think we're
gonna make an exception.

611
00:33:00,566 --> 00:33:03,057
Why don't you girls go
check out the house.

612
00:33:03,166 --> 00:33:04,963
Let us know by the
end of the night.

613
00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:15,933
l don't know.

614
00:33:16,033 --> 00:33:18,433
You guys really think this
place is right for us?

615
00:33:18,533 --> 00:33:19,830
Are you kidding me?

616
00:33:19,933 --> 00:33:22,561
This is the most beautiful
place l ever seen.

617
00:33:22,666 --> 00:33:25,328
lts beauty puts the
Taj Mahal to shame.

618
00:33:25,433 --> 00:33:27,731
- All right?
- All right. Fuck it.

619
00:33:27,833 --> 00:33:29,630
l'm in.

620
00:33:29,733 --> 00:33:31,826
This place is insane!

621
00:33:37,500 --> 00:33:40,162
Have you ladies come
to a decision yet?

622
00:33:40,266 --> 00:33:41,631
l think we're in!

623
00:33:41,733 --> 00:33:43,360
Welcome to gamma.

624
00:33:43,466 --> 00:33:45,559
Why don't you guys get
changed for dinner?

625
00:33:45,666 --> 00:33:49,124
With their diversity, we
can win the FHM contest.

626
00:33:49,233 --> 00:33:51,463
But they'll never be
Gamma Gammas.

627
00:33:51,566 --> 00:33:54,364
That was a great idea, Kristen.

628
00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:56,627
And if the freak show
make it through hell week?

629
00:33:56,733 --> 00:33:58,564
You're in.

630
00:33:58,666 --> 00:34:00,258
Wait!

631
00:34:00,366 --> 00:34:01,856
l thought l already was in.

632
00:34:01,966 --> 00:34:03,092
Good luck.

633
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,692
Wait. Wait. Wait.

634
00:34:06,799 --> 00:34:09,701
So you tried the rapper
thing, the jackass thing.

635
00:34:09,799 --> 00:34:11,290
- Nothing worked?
- Nothing.

636
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,197
l really liked that Irish thing.
That was good.

637
00:34:13,300 --> 00:34:15,325
l liked it, too. l just don't get it.

638
00:34:15,433 --> 00:34:18,459
- Maybe l'm ugly.
- No.

639
00:34:18,566 --> 00:34:20,193
A little.

640
00:34:20,300 --> 00:34:22,063
l think she's the one.

641
00:34:22,166 --> 00:34:24,293
What? Who's the one?

642
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,731
Victoria, dick.

643
00:34:25,833 --> 00:34:27,198
Victoria? No, man.

644
00:34:27,300 --> 00:34:29,598
- She's the hottest girl in school.
- She's the craziest girl in school.

645
00:34:29,699 --> 00:34:30,962
Yeah, crazy for me.

646
00:34:31,066 --> 00:34:33,261
Yeah, so crazy for you she
got her dog to blow you.

647
00:34:33,366 --> 00:34:34,355
She's sharing.

648
00:34:34,466 --> 00:34:36,024
So crazy for you that she
emptied your bank account...

649
00:34:36,133 --> 00:34:38,693
and bought a ticket for her
ex-boyfriend to visit her.

650
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,700
They're friends.
l steal her panties.

651
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:42,825
She puts pictures of
me on the internet.

652
00:34:42,933 --> 00:34:45,333
lt's a relationship.
It's a two way street, dick!

653
00:34:45,433 --> 00:34:46,695
l gotta go.

654
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,665
Victoria's gonna let
me be on top this time.

655
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,129
But there's only one bed.

656
00:34:59,233 --> 00:35:02,896
That's okay, because you ladies
will be sleeping in there.

657
00:35:05,199 --> 00:35:07,430
But don't worry, there's
plenty of room.

658
00:35:07,533 --> 00:35:09,160
Okay? l'll see you at dinner.

659
00:35:09,266 --> 00:35:10,631
- Bye.
- Bye.

660
00:35:17,699 --> 00:35:19,668
We are so flattered...

661
00:35:19,766 --> 00:35:21,597
that you all want to be
a part of Gamma Gamma.

662
00:35:21,699 --> 00:35:24,533
l think that Jackie Onassis
said it best when she said--

663
00:35:24,633 --> 00:35:25,895
Thanks, Morgan.

664
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,900
l think we know what you mean.

665
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:32,460
You pledges are our future,
and that's why it's important...

666
00:35:32,566 --> 00:35:34,796
you live up to the
highest of standards.

667
00:35:34,900 --> 00:35:39,837
Because we are the
hottest sorority eyer.

668
00:35:39,933 --> 00:35:43,334
So you're asking, if l keep
treating pledges like shit...

669
00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:45,060
won't they just leave?

670
00:35:45,166 --> 00:35:47,999
Will fat chicks ever stop
squeezing into low rise jeans?

671
00:35:48,099 --> 00:35:50,591
Will hairy chicks
ever stop waxing?

672
00:35:50,699 --> 00:35:52,565
No.

673
00:35:52,666 --> 00:35:56,033
The more l humiliate them, the
more they're gonna love me.

674
00:35:56,133 --> 00:35:57,691
Sick, huh?

675
00:36:01,666 --> 00:36:03,065
Gross.

676
00:36:03,166 --> 00:36:05,464
Be sure to lick your
bowls clean, girls.

677
00:36:05,566 --> 00:36:08,000
And don't use your hands.

678
00:36:08,099 --> 00:36:12,503
By the way, that's
not dog food.

679
00:36:12,599 --> 00:36:16,366
lt's yesterday's sushi.

680
00:36:16,466 --> 00:36:18,024
Eat up.

681
00:36:30,599 --> 00:36:33,262
Damn, Maxine, move over.

682
00:36:33,366 --> 00:36:34,765
l'm sorry.

683
00:36:34,866 --> 00:36:36,595
l'm just big boned is all.

684
00:36:36,699 --> 00:36:40,329
FYl, the ass is not a bone.

685
00:36:40,433 --> 00:36:43,732
Babs, would you please
stop rubbing my butt?

686
00:36:43,833 --> 00:36:45,926
l though that was my ass.

687
00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:54,434
Oh, yeah, baby.

688
00:36:54,533 --> 00:36:56,330
Oh, that's good.

689
00:36:56,433 --> 00:36:58,333
Suck on my titties.

690
00:37:00,766 --> 00:37:04,634
Someone seriously has to take
that thing away from her.

691
00:37:11,599 --> 00:37:15,400
Get up, get up,
get up, get up.

692
00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:18,469
Sleep is for gammas,
not pledges.

693
00:37:18,566 --> 00:37:22,969
Now, we have a little sexual
awareness exercise for you guys.

694
00:37:23,066 --> 00:37:25,466
Good morning.

695
00:37:25,566 --> 00:37:30,503
Gammas must learn all aspects of
condom use and proper disposal.

696
00:37:30,599 --> 00:37:31,999
How many of these
do we have to find?

697
00:37:32,099 --> 00:37:33,499
Just 50.

698
00:37:33,599 --> 00:37:35,693
And how many do we have?

699
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:37,131
Three.

700
00:37:37,233 --> 00:37:38,723
Why don't we just buy
some condoms...

701
00:37:38,833 --> 00:37:41,461
and jerk off some
homeless guys?

702
00:37:41,566 --> 00:37:45,002
Like that didn't occur
to anyone else.

703
00:37:45,099 --> 00:37:46,692
l think l found one.

704
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:47,926
Where?

705
00:37:48,033 --> 00:37:50,501
Ew. Get it off. Get it off!

706
00:37:50,599 --> 00:37:53,296
Wait! Poops don't lose that one!

707
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:54,594
Wait! Stop!

708
00:37:54,699 --> 00:37:56,258
We need it! Get back!

709
00:38:09,766 --> 00:38:11,597
Excuse me. Uh, gays?

710
00:38:11,699 --> 00:38:14,134
You think we could
get your condom?

711
00:38:14,233 --> 00:38:17,669
You know, after?

712
00:38:17,766 --> 00:38:19,529
We'll bring you two, sweetie.

713
00:38:19,633 --> 00:38:21,533
Two!

714
00:38:21,633 --> 00:38:23,157
You got it.

715
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:44,529
You almost gave
me a heart attack.

716
00:38:44,633 --> 00:38:46,658
Sorry.

717
00:38:46,766 --> 00:38:49,360
You're Derek, right?
Victoria's boyfriend.

718
00:38:49,466 --> 00:38:51,991
What the hell are you doing
here at 4:OO in the morning?

719
00:38:52,099 --> 00:38:53,965
We got in a fight.
She kicked me out.

720
00:38:54,066 --> 00:38:55,397
Well, that sucks.

721
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:57,365
Happens all the time.

722
00:38:57,466 --> 00:38:59,058
She kicks me out, l come
Iay here for a while...

723
00:38:59,166 --> 00:39:00,793
and then l go to my room.

724
00:39:00,900 --> 00:39:02,390
Why do you take it?

725
00:39:02,500 --> 00:39:06,061
l guess l'm addicted and
Victoria's the drug.

726
00:39:06,166 --> 00:39:08,760
That is so refreshingly honest...

727
00:39:08,866 --> 00:39:11,494
and tear-jerkingly pathetic
at the same time.

728
00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:15,934
- Pathetic?
- At the same time.

729
00:39:16,033 --> 00:39:19,264
Not that l'm not enjoying
this conversation...

730
00:39:19,366 --> 00:39:20,663
with you or anything...

731
00:39:20,766 --> 00:39:22,757
but there's something about a
woman wearing rubber gloves...

732
00:39:22,866 --> 00:39:24,857
and carrying tongs at
four in the morning...

733
00:39:24,966 --> 00:39:27,400
that naturally scares
the shit out of a guy.

734
00:39:27,500 --> 00:39:30,628
Victoria has us pledges
collecting used condoms.

735
00:39:30,733 --> 00:39:32,064
Oh, right.

736
00:39:32,166 --> 00:39:34,100
That exercise she
likes to give.

737
00:39:34,199 --> 00:39:35,633
Any luck?

738
00:39:35,733 --> 00:39:37,496
No, not really.

739
00:39:37,599 --> 00:39:40,160
lt's not like l'm trying
all that hard, either.

740
00:39:40,266 --> 00:39:45,169
You know, l may be able to
help you out with this.

741
00:39:45,266 --> 00:39:48,758
- Excuse me?
- No, not like that.

742
00:39:48,866 --> 00:39:50,458
Just come with me.

743
00:39:50,566 --> 00:39:51,897
Wait a minute.
Where are you going?

744
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,433
Just trust me. Come on.

745
00:39:53,533 --> 00:39:55,125
- l'm not gonna bite.
- All right.

746
00:40:46,199 --> 00:40:48,566
No, l want to be on
''The Real World''!

747
00:40:48,666 --> 00:40:51,965
You're all gonna be there.

748
00:40:52,066 --> 00:40:54,261
- Oh, shit! John!
- Derek.

749
00:40:54,366 --> 00:40:55,765
What the fuck are you
doing here, dude?

750
00:40:55,866 --> 00:40:56,958
Derek!

751
00:40:57,066 --> 00:40:58,260
Of course. l'm outta here.

752
00:40:58,366 --> 00:40:59,230
No, wait a second.

753
00:40:59,333 --> 00:41:00,664
John, get the hell out of here.
It's my night.

754
00:41:00,766 --> 00:41:02,700
Hey, l'm sorry.
l live here, too, man.

755
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,233
Uh, my night.

756
00:41:04,333 --> 00:41:06,392
Girls, this is derek.
Introduce yourself.

757
00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:07,467
Hi.

758
00:41:07,566 --> 00:41:08,726
l'm Brenda.

759
00:41:08,833 --> 00:41:09,822
All of you, out!

760
00:41:09,933 --> 00:41:11,525
And he's not even
on ''The Real World.''

761
00:41:11,633 --> 00:41:14,101
What? You're an asshole!

762
00:41:14,199 --> 00:41:15,792
Ow!

763
00:41:15,900 --> 00:41:17,333
Wait. Wait.

764
00:41:17,433 --> 00:41:19,628
l had a callback. Wait, girls.

765
00:41:19,733 --> 00:41:20,927
l apologize.

766
00:41:21,033 --> 00:41:22,227
Okay, what am l doing here?

767
00:41:22,333 --> 00:41:23,425
Oh, right.

768
00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:26,933
Think fast.

769
00:41:27,033 --> 00:41:28,967
Yeah, my roommate John's
a bit of a weirdo.

770
00:41:29,066 --> 00:41:31,694
- He keeps them after he fucks.
- l get the picture.

771
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,928
John, will you get
out of here, man?

772
00:41:35,033 --> 00:41:37,866
Come on. Open up, Baby Dick.

773
00:41:37,966 --> 00:41:40,867
One minute, Angel Tits!

774
00:41:40,966 --> 00:41:42,627
- Get under the bed.
- What!?

775
00:41:42,733 --> 00:41:44,223
Just trust me, okay?

776
00:41:44,333 --> 00:41:46,494
My old look was bad,
so the ka-ka came...

777
00:41:46,599 --> 00:41:49,728
but it's not raining
ka-ka anymore.

778
00:41:49,833 --> 00:41:51,323
- Okay, will you trust me?
- No.

779
00:41:51,433 --> 00:41:52,695
Just get under the bed.

780
00:41:56,266 --> 00:41:58,996
lt's raining... sperm.

781
00:41:59,099 --> 00:42:00,692
Why do l have to
get under the bed?

782
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:02,700
l think it's raining sperm.

783
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,496
Open the door immediately,
or i'll tell everyone.

784
00:42:06,900 --> 00:42:09,130
lt is raining sperm.

785
00:42:09,233 --> 00:42:13,226
Open the door.
Come on, Baby Dick.

786
00:42:13,333 --> 00:42:15,597
- Victoria.
- Hi, Baby Dick.

787
00:42:15,699 --> 00:42:17,190
l missed you.

788
00:42:19,966 --> 00:42:21,558
Put this on, now.

789
00:42:21,666 --> 00:42:22,997
Just this.

790
00:42:23,099 --> 00:42:25,694
No. l'm not gonna do it.

791
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:28,564
l'm not gonna be your little
boy toy anymore, okay?

792
00:42:28,666 --> 00:42:30,691
l'm not gonna be your
little sex slave anymore.

793
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,792
l'm sta... l'm standing up
for myself this time...

794
00:42:33,900 --> 00:42:35,333
and l'm not gonna do it.

795
00:42:35,433 --> 00:42:40,803
Oh, really? How about now?

796
00:42:40,900 --> 00:42:42,492
Never mind.

797
00:42:45,733 --> 00:42:47,963
l'm sportin' wood.

798
00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:50,296
Oh, my god! Blow my rooster!

799
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,334
You're such a hot tool.

800
00:42:52,433 --> 00:42:54,799
Screw me, baby.

801
00:42:54,900 --> 00:42:57,095
Pull out your tape
MeftSU re n OW.

802
00:42:57,199 --> 00:42:58,599
Oh, yeah. Oh, my.

803
00:42:58,699 --> 00:43:00,565
Oh, yeah.

804
00:43:00,666 --> 00:43:03,100
Nail me.

805
00:43:03,199 --> 00:43:04,929
Oh, yeah. Oh, god.

806
00:43:05,033 --> 00:43:08,628
l'm gonna tile your house.

807
00:43:08,733 --> 00:43:10,132
Jackhammer.

808
00:43:10,233 --> 00:43:11,427
Rub it.

809
00:43:11,533 --> 00:43:12,864
Oh, my god.

810
00:43:12,966 --> 00:43:14,331
Feels so good.

811
00:43:14,433 --> 00:43:16,401
Take me to the
construction site!

812
00:43:24,099 --> 00:43:26,728
Nail me, baby. Nail me.

813
00:43:26,833 --> 00:43:28,528
Raise my roof, baby.

814
00:43:28,633 --> 00:43:29,657
Oh, yeah.

815
00:43:44,566 --> 00:43:49,230
Bad-ass sex every night, sweet
pledge torture every day.

816
00:43:49,333 --> 00:43:52,359
lt's so good to be me.

817
00:43:56,900 --> 00:44:01,200
Hello, Sister Victoria, Sister
Morgan, Sister Trista.

818
00:44:01,300 --> 00:44:04,064
How do the pledges greet
their Gamma sisters?

819
00:44:09,366 --> 00:44:12,199
Gamma girls are so sweet.

820
00:44:12,300 --> 00:44:15,235
May we please kiss your feet?

821
00:44:15,333 --> 00:44:16,698
Okay.

822
00:44:22,433 --> 00:44:24,367
- Ooh, l kinda like that.
- You may rise.

823
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,394
So, how did your
first mission go?

824
00:44:33,566 --> 00:44:37,400
Trista, count them.

825
00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:40,628
l count six.

826
00:44:40,733 --> 00:44:43,099
Let's hope you do
better on the next one.

827
00:44:43,199 --> 00:44:44,929
We're rooting for you.

828
00:44:45,033 --> 00:44:46,967
You girls make me sick.

829
00:44:47,066 --> 00:44:49,159
Yeah, you're sick.

830
00:44:51,466 --> 00:44:53,024
Wait for me.

831
00:45:02,233 --> 00:45:04,167
Hey, boys, you
know you want it!

832
00:45:04,266 --> 00:45:06,325
l'm the horn of plenty!

833
00:45:10,433 --> 00:45:12,094
Nice legs!

834
00:45:12,199 --> 00:45:13,599
How'd you like me to
fill your diaper?

835
00:45:13,699 --> 00:45:14,962
Hey, boys.

836
00:45:15,066 --> 00:45:17,398
Mommy needs a diaper change.

837
00:45:22,433 --> 00:45:26,233
Part of becoming a gamma
is learning sophistication.

838
00:45:26,333 --> 00:45:28,164
Like mother here.

839
00:45:30,500 --> 00:45:34,027
And part of being
sophisticated is knowing...

840
00:45:34,133 --> 00:45:40,265
how to properly entertain
nice, young gentlemen.

841
00:45:40,366 --> 00:45:41,993
Oh, my God.

842
00:45:42,099 --> 00:45:43,362
Make with the rub-a-dub.

843
00:45:43,466 --> 00:45:45,832
We were promised a
sensual foot experience.

844
00:45:45,933 --> 00:45:48,197
l will burn in hell first.

845
00:45:48,300 --> 00:45:52,828
l really want to be nice, but the
smell is just... unbearable.

846
00:45:52,933 --> 00:45:54,924
You like that, baby?

847
00:45:55,033 --> 00:45:56,557
You like that?

848
00:45:56,666 --> 00:45:59,260
Mommy's gonna make you a man.

849
00:45:59,366 --> 00:46:01,163
Whoo!

850
00:46:01,266 --> 00:46:03,166
Okay.

851
00:46:03,266 --> 00:46:05,131
Who's next?

852
00:46:08,533 --> 00:46:11,969
Oh, yeah!

853
00:46:12,066 --> 00:46:15,900
lf you see, see, see, see seamen.

854
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,763
Won't you free, free,
free, free them?

855
00:46:18,666 --> 00:46:21,260
l'm such a humanitarian...

856
00:46:21,366 --> 00:46:25,928
so l decided to mark her
friends up, Victoria-style.

857
00:46:26,033 --> 00:46:27,500
You don't have to do this, Max.

858
00:46:27,599 --> 00:46:29,227
l'm all right.

859
00:46:29,333 --> 00:46:31,733
Wow.

860
00:46:31,833 --> 00:46:33,733
What do we have here?

861
00:46:33,833 --> 00:46:34,959
Mother?

862
00:46:39,233 --> 00:46:42,202
These girls were
such a mess...

863
00:46:42,300 --> 00:46:45,463
it was easier to mark the
places that were okay.

864
00:46:45,566 --> 00:46:47,625
- No!
- You can do it.

865
00:46:47,733 --> 00:46:49,257
Give me that!

866
00:46:49,366 --> 00:46:51,027
Who the hell do
you think you are?

867
00:46:51,133 --> 00:46:53,533
Excuse me?

868
00:46:53,633 --> 00:46:56,227
You can't treat us like this.

869
00:46:56,333 --> 00:46:58,164
We're just trying to help you.

870
00:46:58,266 --> 00:46:59,961
lt's bullshit.

871
00:47:00,066 --> 00:47:02,296
You and your fembots just
want to make fun of us.

872
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,493
Well, mission accomplished.

873
00:47:04,599 --> 00:47:05,999
You know what?

874
00:47:06,099 --> 00:47:08,034
l quit.

875
00:47:08,133 --> 00:47:13,765
Sayonara, puta.

876
00:47:13,866 --> 00:47:16,801
Three days before initiation,
and what does she do?

877
00:47:16,900 --> 00:47:19,391
Quits. Know why?

878
00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:21,900
Because she doesn't have the
dedication to be a Gamma.

879
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:23,797
Anyone else want to drop out?

880
00:47:23,900 --> 00:47:26,130
Yes. If one goes, we all go.

881
00:47:26,233 --> 00:47:27,461
Yeah.

882
00:47:30,266 --> 00:47:32,131
They walked out on me.

883
00:47:32,233 --> 00:47:34,064
l'll get those bitches.

884
00:47:34,166 --> 00:47:36,225
Victoria... l'm still in, right?

885
00:47:36,333 --> 00:47:39,029
Kristen, you're my favorite,
and l love you, but she bailed.

886
00:47:39,133 --> 00:47:40,725
Sorry, maybe next year.

887
00:47:40,833 --> 00:47:43,131
What if l can get her back?

888
00:47:43,233 --> 00:47:46,202
lf you can get her back...

889
00:47:46,300 --> 00:47:49,098
then l'd say welcome back
to Gamma Gamma.

890
00:47:52,966 --> 00:47:55,161
Okay.

891
00:47:55,266 --> 00:47:57,427
Those nerds should have known
not to go to a real estate agent...

892
00:47:57,533 --> 00:47:59,194
that also sold churros.

893
00:47:59,300 --> 00:48:00,824
Allow me to introduce myself.

894
00:48:00,933 --> 00:48:02,093
My name is Buford Gomez.

895
00:48:02,199 --> 00:48:04,100
l'm a former border patrol agent.

896
00:48:04,199 --> 00:48:06,031
l used to put the
panic to Hispanic.

897
00:48:06,133 --> 00:48:07,862
l put the pepper spray to Jos�.

898
00:48:07,966 --> 00:48:10,264
l put the baton to Juan.
That's all behind me.

899
00:48:10,366 --> 00:48:11,628
l'm helping people now.

900
00:48:11,733 --> 00:48:13,963
Look at you, look,
you soul sister.

901
00:48:14,066 --> 00:48:16,261
Them braids real? That's amazing.

902
00:48:16,366 --> 00:48:18,129
Okay, you must be
the Appalachian.

903
00:48:18,233 --> 00:48:22,260
Like a like a whack mohawk
thing going on there.

904
00:48:22,366 --> 00:48:25,164
You're like a little
redneck peacock.

905
00:48:25,266 --> 00:48:27,359
What the hell
happened there, girl?

906
00:48:27,466 --> 00:48:29,195
l don't know if
l'm comin' or goin'.

907
00:48:29,300 --> 00:48:30,961
How you doin'?

908
00:48:31,066 --> 00:48:32,294
You don't eat pork, do you?

909
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:34,561
l'd like to pork you. Porky Pig.

910
00:48:34,666 --> 00:48:36,566
Whoa, a big girl!

911
00:48:36,666 --> 00:48:38,361
You done beat anorexia!

912
00:48:38,466 --> 00:48:41,367
l'm so glad you're a
strong, healthy girl.

913
00:48:41,466 --> 00:48:44,663
And look at... okay.
You ever been with a man?

914
00:48:44,766 --> 00:48:47,462
You ever been the man?
Never mind.

915
00:48:47,566 --> 00:48:51,093
Buford, can you show us
something we could live in?

916
00:48:51,199 --> 00:48:52,929
Okay, you need
a place to stay.

917
00:48:53,033 --> 00:48:57,060
Got it: Super Pollo Loco.

918
00:48:57,166 --> 00:48:59,760
ls it a boat? Is it a restaurant?

919
00:48:59,866 --> 00:49:01,163
Who cares!?

920
00:49:01,266 --> 00:49:06,329
lt's a hybrid with a history dating
back to pre-revolutionary Cuba.

921
00:49:06,433 --> 00:49:08,060
Smell the black
beans and rice.

922
00:49:08,166 --> 00:49:09,497
Taste the tostitos.

923
00:49:09,599 --> 00:49:10,828
Babalo, babalo, babalo.

924
00:49:10,933 --> 00:49:14,198
They don't make structures
like this anymore.

925
00:49:14,300 --> 00:49:16,461
l'm not sure they ever did.

926
00:49:16,566 --> 00:49:19,831
Two converted sleeping
bedrooms, a dining room...

927
00:49:19,933 --> 00:49:22,458
and a working deep fryer.

928
00:49:22,566 --> 00:49:23,760
Hey, great!

929
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,195
l just wanted to
say that l'm sorry.

930
00:49:36,300 --> 00:49:37,790
l'm not in the mood, Kristen.

931
00:49:37,900 --> 00:49:40,164
Victoria feels really bad
about what happened.

932
00:49:40,266 --> 00:49:41,699
Please.

933
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,030
She thinks you'd be a
really great Gamma.

934
00:49:44,133 --> 00:49:46,931
She told me that.

935
00:49:47,033 --> 00:49:49,160
You're the only reason...

936
00:49:49,266 --> 00:49:52,064
she let the other girls
pledge in the first place.

937
00:49:52,166 --> 00:49:53,793
lt's too late anyway.

938
00:49:57,500 --> 00:50:01,061
You could come back.

939
00:50:01,166 --> 00:50:03,259
Just think about it.

940
00:50:14,633 --> 00:50:16,066
l'm feeling this shit.

941
00:50:16,166 --> 00:50:18,225
l mean, metrosexuals
are where it's at.

942
00:50:18,333 --> 00:50:20,028
''Queer Eye'' is the shit.

943
00:50:20,133 --> 00:50:21,760
You got the queer
part down good.

944
00:50:21,866 --> 00:50:23,299
Big time.

945
00:50:25,666 --> 00:50:26,758
You know what?

946
00:50:26,866 --> 00:50:28,356
Screw you guys, okay?

947
00:50:28,466 --> 00:50:31,401
See who's laughing when l'm
getting laid in five minutes.

948
00:50:31,500 --> 00:50:33,161
By a dude.

949
00:50:33,266 --> 00:50:34,961
l think the shirt works.

950
00:50:35,066 --> 00:50:37,091
There's no way
it's gonna work.

951
00:50:37,199 --> 00:50:40,169
Excuse me, could l
get an apple martini?

952
00:50:40,266 --> 00:50:41,858
Thanks.

953
00:50:41,966 --> 00:50:43,797
l'm Jessica.

954
00:50:43,900 --> 00:50:44,992
Hey, Jessica.

955
00:50:45,099 --> 00:50:47,068
l'm Dax.

956
00:50:47,166 --> 00:50:49,828
Nice and fruity.

957
00:50:49,933 --> 00:50:52,458
So have you
got a boyfriend?

958
00:50:53,599 --> 00:50:55,727
- No! No!
- l'm sorry, l thought you--

959
00:50:55,833 --> 00:50:58,961
No, see, l'm not, um...

960
00:50:59,066 --> 00:51:06,495
Um, l mean, l'm not
speaking to him right now.

961
00:51:06,599 --> 00:51:09,364
l caught him with another guy.

962
00:51:10,266 --> 00:51:13,235
- Really?
- Yeah.

963
00:51:13,333 --> 00:51:15,961
Man, that sucks.
Guys can be such assholes.

964
00:51:16,066 --> 00:51:18,261
You're preaching
to the choir, sister.

965
00:51:18,366 --> 00:51:21,267
The gay man's choir,
which l'm a member of.

966
00:51:24,300 --> 00:51:26,791
Can l ask you a
personal question?

967
00:51:26,899 --> 00:51:30,336
Ten inches, and that's
after a cold shower.

968
00:51:30,433 --> 00:51:33,698
Have you ever been
with a woman?

969
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:35,267
Oh, l...

970
00:51:48,833 --> 00:51:50,892
Have you ever kissed a girl?

971
00:51:50,999 --> 00:51:52,763
Here.

972
00:51:52,866 --> 00:51:54,993
l want you take this.

973
00:51:55,100 --> 00:51:57,830
lt enhances sexual experience.

974
00:51:57,933 --> 00:52:00,128
You take it orally.

975
00:52:00,233 --> 00:52:02,497
That's right. l do.

976
00:52:11,499 --> 00:52:13,900
How does that feel?

977
00:52:13,999 --> 00:52:17,561
lt's okay.

978
00:52:17,666 --> 00:52:20,533
lt doesn't feel wrong?

979
00:52:20,633 --> 00:52:25,070
Yeah, it does, but it's
the right kind of wrong.

980
00:52:33,300 --> 00:52:35,063
lt's okay.

981
00:52:42,633 --> 00:52:44,362
l'll show you what to do.

982
00:52:50,366 --> 00:52:51,799
Oh, wow.

983
00:52:51,899 --> 00:52:54,198
You're really hard.

984
00:52:54,300 --> 00:52:57,428
Oh, my God!

985
00:52:57,533 --> 00:53:00,934
l've been living a lie!

986
00:53:01,033 --> 00:53:07,029
l'm a straight man trapped in a
gay, homosexual's fabulous body!

987
00:53:07,133 --> 00:53:09,158
Set me free, child!

988
00:53:09,266 --> 00:53:10,824
Set me free!

989
00:53:10,933 --> 00:53:14,061
Hallelujah!

990
00:53:14,166 --> 00:53:15,963
Victoria's dog is missing!

991
00:53:16,066 --> 00:53:17,931
Victoria's dog is missing!

992
00:53:18,033 --> 00:53:19,557
Get the cock out of your mouth!

993
00:53:19,666 --> 00:53:20,928
Gamsie?

994
00:53:21,033 --> 00:53:22,193
Before it starts
running, right now!

995
00:53:22,300 --> 00:53:23,289
Wait a second.

996
00:53:23,399 --> 00:53:24,731
No, no. You can't go.

997
00:53:24,833 --> 00:53:26,391
You gotta help me
figure out who l am!

998
00:53:26,499 --> 00:53:27,762
l still don't know
if l'm gay or not.

999
00:53:27,866 --> 00:53:29,128
l'm sorry. Maybe another time.

1000
00:53:29,233 --> 00:53:30,598
No, don't go.

1001
00:53:30,700 --> 00:53:32,031
Please, don't go!

1002
00:53:32,133 --> 00:53:34,124
Please, don't go!

1003
00:53:34,233 --> 00:53:36,292
Come back! ! !

1004
00:53:36,399 --> 00:53:38,868
l want you to take this.

1005
00:53:38,966 --> 00:53:43,232
lt enhances sexual experience.

1006
00:53:51,899 --> 00:53:53,891
Hi.

1007
00:53:53,999 --> 00:53:57,993
Your bodies are so beautiful.

1008
00:53:58,100 --> 00:54:03,265
Can l touch them?

1009
00:54:03,366 --> 00:54:08,133
Well, well, well.

1010
00:54:08,233 --> 00:54:15,002
lf it isn't Mr. Brad Pitt
ready to invade Troy.

1011
00:54:15,100 --> 00:54:18,934
And by ''Troy,''
l mean my vagina.

1012
00:54:23,866 --> 00:54:25,356
That's right, baby.

1013
00:54:25,466 --> 00:54:28,333
Mamma's got some
brand new bags.

1014
00:54:28,433 --> 00:54:31,266
Why don't you grab a handful?

1015
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,101
What the fuck?

1016
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:40,827
Morning, lover.

1017
00:54:43,366 --> 00:54:44,924
Hungry?

1018
00:54:45,033 --> 00:54:47,399
Do you want a muffin?

1019
00:54:47,499 --> 00:54:50,901
Do you want butter
or cream cheese?

1020
00:54:55,133 --> 00:54:57,658
Where are my clothes?

1021
00:55:01,333 --> 00:55:03,699
Where's my underwear?

1022
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,064
l ate them.

1023
00:55:08,499 --> 00:55:11,128
No!!!

1024
00:55:13,066 --> 00:55:14,055
Call me.

1025
00:55:21,666 --> 00:55:23,600
- Hey, Gloria.
- Hey, baby.

1026
00:55:23,700 --> 00:55:25,133
Have you seen my mom?

1027
00:55:25,233 --> 00:55:28,464
l think she's back at
the chicken boat.

1028
00:55:28,566 --> 00:55:30,659
- Thanks, Gloria.
- It's all right.

1029
00:55:30,766 --> 00:55:32,256
- Hey, Gloria.
- Mm-hm?

1030
00:55:32,366 --> 00:55:33,697
What's a rim job?

1031
00:55:36,433 --> 00:55:41,496
Um, that's when you have your
tire changed in your car.

1032
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,568
- Thanks, Gloria.
- It's all right.

1033
00:55:43,666 --> 00:55:45,964
- l got worried.
- Me, too.

1034
00:55:46,066 --> 00:55:48,830
- A boy in my class said it was a--
- Oh, never mind!

1035
00:55:48,933 --> 00:55:51,993
He's a bad boy,
and he's wrong.

1036
00:55:52,100 --> 00:55:55,160
Why don't you go
Iook for your mommy?

1037
00:55:55,266 --> 00:55:56,665
- Okay.
- Okay?

1038
00:55:56,766 --> 00:55:58,563
Bye.

1039
00:55:58,666 --> 00:56:00,327
Hey, there you are.

1040
00:56:00,433 --> 00:56:02,367
Been looking all over for you.

1041
00:56:02,466 --> 00:56:06,425
l'm sorry about the other night.

1042
00:56:06,533 --> 00:56:12,165
l do appreciate you
trying to help me out.

1043
00:56:12,266 --> 00:56:16,896
You have a huge
problem, derek.

1044
00:56:16,999 --> 00:56:19,867
You should seriously consider
seeing a shrink or something.

1045
00:56:19,966 --> 00:56:21,900
Do some serious couch time.

1046
00:56:21,999 --> 00:56:23,592
l did warn you.

1047
00:56:23,700 --> 00:56:26,100
True.

1048
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:28,293
You know what?

1049
00:56:28,399 --> 00:56:29,765
lt doesn't even matter.

1050
00:56:29,866 --> 00:56:31,424
l don't care anymore.

1051
00:56:31,533 --> 00:56:33,865
Gamma Gamma can
kiss my butta butta.

1052
00:56:33,966 --> 00:56:35,593
No, no, no, no.

1053
00:56:35,700 --> 00:56:38,260
You can't quit, 'cause if you
Ieave now, then she wins.

1054
00:56:38,366 --> 00:56:40,527
Wait a minute.

1055
00:56:40,633 --> 00:56:44,797
Why are you taking our
side against her?

1056
00:56:44,899 --> 00:56:47,460
To hell with Victoria.

1057
00:56:47,566 --> 00:56:51,161
What about your addiction?

1058
00:56:51,266 --> 00:56:53,757
l'm cured.

1059
00:56:53,866 --> 00:56:58,894
l found somebody that l
care about so much more.

1060
00:57:02,666 --> 00:57:04,759
We're gonna kiss, aren't we?

1061
00:57:04,866 --> 00:57:06,629
God, l hope so.

1062
00:57:09,933 --> 00:57:12,834
- Oh, my little--
- Promise me something?

1063
00:57:12,933 --> 00:57:15,493
- Anything.
- No more pet names.

1064
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:19,934
Think of it as step
one of your recovery.

1065
00:57:20,033 --> 00:57:24,231
#  Because it's
gonna be beautiful #

1066
00:57:24,333 --> 00:57:26,597
The Kama Sutra was originally
written in Sanskrit...

1067
00:57:26,700 --> 00:57:29,225
by an indian man
called Vatsyayana...

1068
00:57:29,333 --> 00:57:32,734
whose name literally means
''split the bamboo.''

1069
00:57:32,833 --> 00:57:34,892
lmagine, if you will...

1070
00:57:34,999 --> 00:57:37,298
a young man and a young
woman like yourself...

1071
00:57:37,399 --> 00:57:43,805
in the full thrush of a passionate
intensely sexual embrace...

1072
00:57:43,899 --> 00:57:49,338
all being watched by Garuda,
the bird of Vishnu.

1073
00:57:49,433 --> 00:57:53,927
- As those juices...
- Hey, kristen.

1074
00:57:54,033 --> 00:57:56,160
Nice legs.

1075
00:57:59,466 --> 00:58:02,094
What time do they open?

1076
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:03,963
Disgusting.

1077
00:58:04,066 --> 00:58:07,433
Dude! Great line!

1078
00:58:07,533 --> 00:58:11,162
Que pasa, mommy?

1079
00:58:11,266 --> 00:58:16,898
Trista, Morgan is a total freak.

1080
00:58:16,999 --> 00:58:19,161
She wants to remove her rib.

1081
00:58:19,266 --> 00:58:21,200
Ow, that must really hurt.
How do you know?

1082
00:58:21,300 --> 00:58:22,995
Because l'm IM'ing her right now.

1083
00:58:23,100 --> 00:58:24,397
Wow, that's so great.

1084
00:58:24,499 --> 00:58:25,432
How do you even know that?

1085
00:58:25,533 --> 00:58:28,093
Duh. NetZero, loser.

1086
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:31,636
Miss English, l'm sorry,
are we bothering you?

1087
00:58:31,733 --> 00:58:33,530
Oh, not at all
Professor Milch'ik.

1088
00:58:33,633 --> 00:58:35,362
Just keep it soft and quiet.

1089
00:58:35,466 --> 00:58:36,626
Thanks.

1090
00:58:36,733 --> 00:58:37,859
Where was i?

1091
00:58:37,966 --> 00:58:39,058
Yes.

1092
00:58:39,166 --> 00:58:40,690
Fruition.

1093
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:43,826
That woman is bringing that
man to fruition through a series

1094
00:58:43,933 --> 00:58:47,801
of very mysterious and intensely
complex moves called--

1095
00:58:47,899 --> 00:58:49,868
Mysterious? Complex?

1096
00:58:49,966 --> 00:58:51,593
Men are dogs.

1097
00:59:00,533 --> 00:59:02,262
Observe.

1098
00:59:02,366 --> 00:59:03,924
Lights, please.

1099
00:59:07,433 --> 00:59:09,663
Look who's teaching now.

1100
00:59:09,766 --> 00:59:12,929
You like that, don't you?

1101
00:59:13,033 --> 00:59:15,524
Bet you wish l was yours.

1102
00:59:15,633 --> 00:59:17,828
Hot, aren't i?

1103
00:59:21,333 --> 00:59:23,699
What do we have here?

1104
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:26,394
A little bit of this.

1105
00:59:26,499 --> 00:59:28,161
Yeah.

1106
00:59:32,366 --> 00:59:34,891
And a little bit of that.

1107
00:59:35,699 --> 00:59:38,168
l'm making you
so hot right now.

1108
00:59:38,266 --> 00:59:39,460
Yeah.

1109
00:59:41,833 --> 00:59:44,700
l bet you really wish that
l was your girlfriend.

1110
00:59:46,300 --> 00:59:48,165
Too bad.

1111
01:00:20,566 --> 01:00:22,761
Mystery solved.

1112
01:00:22,866 --> 01:00:25,096
Now let's see what you
guys have learned.

1113
01:00:25,199 --> 01:00:27,031
You.

1114
01:00:27,133 --> 01:00:28,828
Me?

1115
01:00:28,933 --> 01:00:30,127
Come up here.

1116
01:00:34,433 --> 01:00:36,458
What do you want me to do?

1117
01:00:36,566 --> 01:00:38,500
Give it your best shot.

1118
01:00:50,666 --> 01:00:52,361
Okay, girls.

1119
01:00:52,466 --> 01:00:54,696
Here's to life on a
crappy-assed boat.

1120
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:04,028
l think l'm having
the bed spins,

1121
01:01:04,133 --> 01:01:06,192
and not the good kind.

1122
01:01:06,300 --> 01:01:08,791
lt's the boat.

1123
01:01:08,900 --> 01:01:13,269
Our investment is being
tossed around like a mud hut...

1124
01:01:13,366 --> 01:01:17,029
i n m o n s o o n seas o n .

1125
01:01:17,133 --> 01:01:19,328
You'll get used to it.

1126
01:01:19,433 --> 01:01:23,369
l think l need to bow to
the porcelain goddess.

1127
01:01:23,466 --> 01:01:27,459
Sounds like she's
getting used to it.

1128
01:01:27,566 --> 01:01:30,660
She acts like she's never
been on a roller coaster...

1129
01:01:30,766 --> 01:01:32,666
with a bean burrito
in her belly.

1130
01:01:32,766 --> 01:01:33,858
Oh, crap.

1131
01:01:33,966 --> 01:01:35,456
l think l'm gonna
Iose my lunch.

1132
01:01:35,566 --> 01:01:37,227
Or taken a sip from
someone else's seven-up...

1133
01:01:37,333 --> 01:01:39,631
that they backwashed into.

1134
01:01:39,733 --> 01:01:41,291
Stop it, Gloria.

1135
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:43,732
You're gonna make me hurl.

1136
01:01:43,833 --> 01:01:45,357
Ooh, you know what's
really gross?

1137
01:01:45,466 --> 01:01:46,990
When you take the
Iast sips of milk...

1138
01:01:47,099 --> 01:01:49,068
and then found out
there was chunks in it.

1139
01:02:03,933 --> 01:02:06,401
The FHM judges were
coming the next day...

1140
01:02:06,500 --> 01:02:07,990
and without those
geeky girls...

1141
01:02:08,099 --> 01:02:09,727
l wouldn't have my diversity.

1142
01:02:09,833 --> 01:02:11,323
l had to get them
back to Gamma.

1143
01:02:11,433 --> 01:02:13,128
So, of course, l
make Kristen do it.

1144
01:02:13,233 --> 01:02:14,291
You ready, Kristen?

1145
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:16,664
l don't know, Victoria.

1146
01:02:16,766 --> 01:02:18,256
This is pretty fucked up.

1147
01:02:18,366 --> 01:02:20,732
l invite these girls
into my house...

1148
01:02:20,833 --> 01:02:23,597
and they have zero appreciation
for anything l've done.

1149
01:02:23,699 --> 01:02:27,898
And, Kristen,
need l remind you...

1150
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:31,060
that this entire thing
was your idea?

1151
01:02:31,166 --> 01:02:35,125
You know, normally, l
would ask Morgan to come.

1152
01:02:35,233 --> 01:02:38,634
But there's something
special about you...

1153
01:02:38,733 --> 01:02:40,860
Kristen Haas.

1154
01:02:40,966 --> 01:02:46,700
Something special enough
to be Gamma president.

1155
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:48,700
What?

1156
01:02:48,800 --> 01:02:51,098
l think you have
what it takes.

1157
01:02:51,199 --> 01:02:53,896
Or at least l
thought l did.

1158
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:57,299
Now, l'm beginning to
second guess your loyalty.

1159
01:02:57,400 --> 01:02:58,389
No, no, no.

1160
01:02:58,500 --> 01:03:00,525
l'm-l'm loyal.

1161
01:03:00,633 --> 01:03:02,897
Then act like a
future Gamma pres...

1162
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:05,696
and go and protect
your sisters.

1163
01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:07,062
Go!

1164
01:03:12,300 --> 01:03:14,063
Oh, Gamsie.

1165
01:03:14,166 --> 01:03:16,566
They'll do whatever
we tell them to.

1166
01:03:16,666 --> 01:03:19,362
Well, looks like chicken
boat's going for a swim.

1167
01:03:22,566 --> 01:03:23,464
Oh!

1168
01:03:23,566 --> 01:03:24,624
Oh, no!

1169
01:03:24,733 --> 01:03:27,201
Please don't send me
back to Gamma, Krishna.

1170
01:03:27,300 --> 01:03:28,733
Oh, no.

1171
01:03:28,833 --> 01:03:30,164
Welcome.

1172
01:03:30,266 --> 01:03:31,460
Those evil Gamma bitches
will eat me alive.

1173
01:03:31,566 --> 01:03:32,794
Oh, please no.

1174
01:03:32,900 --> 01:03:33,832
Oh!

1175
01:03:33,933 --> 01:03:35,491
lt's the evilest bitch
of all, Victoria!

1176
01:03:35,599 --> 01:03:37,329
Please, krishna, no!

1177
01:03:37,433 --> 01:03:38,661
No!

1178
01:03:47,699 --> 01:03:49,133
My physics test!

1179
01:03:49,233 --> 01:03:50,700
Motherfucker, shit!

1180
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:52,392
Shit, motherfucker, shit!

1181
01:03:52,500 --> 01:03:53,364
Ow!

1182
01:03:53,466 --> 01:03:54,626
Fucking cock, man.

1183
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:00,391
l lost my platapussy.

1184
01:04:03,866 --> 01:04:04,924
Somebody get me a chair.

1185
01:04:05,033 --> 01:04:06,227
l got a signal.

1186
01:04:06,333 --> 01:04:07,231
Fuck!

1187
01:04:07,333 --> 01:04:08,425
lt's gone.

1188
01:04:13,099 --> 01:04:16,831
What in god's
name is that?

1189
01:04:16,933 --> 01:04:19,493
Sure ain't no bird.

1190
01:04:24,099 --> 01:04:26,034
l think we're
being watched.

1191
01:04:26,133 --> 01:04:27,725
Who's watching?

1192
01:04:30,966 --> 01:04:32,126
Who-wee!

1193
01:04:32,233 --> 01:04:34,633
You ladies need
a tug, do ya?

1194
01:04:34,733 --> 01:04:36,894
We'll tug ya.

1195
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:38,661
l'd love a tug.

1196
01:04:38,766 --> 01:04:39,994
Uh-huh.

1197
01:04:40,099 --> 01:04:41,067
lt's gonna cost
you though.

1198
01:04:41,166 --> 01:04:42,599
A little money up front.

1199
01:04:42,699 --> 01:04:45,168
Plus, Randy here gets to look
through all your clothes.

1200
01:04:45,266 --> 01:04:47,166
Dirty honky.

1201
01:04:47,266 --> 01:04:48,460
What did you say,
you little bitch?

1202
01:04:48,566 --> 01:04:50,295
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1203
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:53,369
You motherfucker!

1204
01:04:53,466 --> 01:04:55,457
Oh, my god.

1205
01:04:55,566 --> 01:04:56,692
l swear to god.

1206
01:04:56,800 --> 01:04:58,097
All right, let's get
this boat roped up.

1207
01:04:58,199 --> 01:04:58,928
Come on, ladies.

1208
01:04:59,033 --> 01:05:00,000
Give me some help!

1209
01:05:00,099 --> 01:05:01,431
Let's tow this
motherfucker out of here.

1210
01:05:05,166 --> 01:05:06,963
The boat is leaking.

1211
01:05:07,066 --> 01:05:08,556
We've got nowhere to stay.

1212
01:05:08,666 --> 01:05:10,133
lt looks like we may
have to ask Victoria...

1213
01:05:10,233 --> 01:05:11,427
to take us back.

1214
01:05:11,533 --> 01:05:13,160
Oh, and you can imagine
how excited l am...

1215
01:05:13,266 --> 01:05:15,530
to have that conversation.

1216
01:05:15,633 --> 01:05:17,794
What conversation
might that be, Bitch?

1217
01:05:17,900 --> 01:05:24,829
l, um, l just wanted to
know if l can have

1218
01:05:24,933 --> 01:05:26,867
another chance to come back.

1219
01:05:26,966 --> 01:05:29,025
You think you can just
waltz back in here?

1220
01:05:29,133 --> 01:05:30,031
Yeah.

1221
01:05:30,133 --> 01:05:31,259
Can you waltz?

1222
01:05:35,900 --> 01:05:38,232
So, what do you
think, Kristen?

1223
01:05:38,333 --> 01:05:40,164
Has she learned
her lesson?

1224
01:05:40,266 --> 01:05:42,359
l think so.

1225
01:05:42,466 --> 01:05:44,696
Welcome back to Gamma.

1226
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:46,324
Yeah!

1227
01:05:46,433 --> 01:05:47,764
Are her nipples hard?

1228
01:05:47,866 --> 01:05:49,128
Wait those are mine.

1229
01:06:00,199 --> 01:06:02,361
Gamma Gamma was selected
as a finalist in FHM's...

1230
01:06:02,466 --> 01:06:05,765
hottest sorority contest.

1231
01:06:05,866 --> 01:06:08,027
Then, guess what?

1232
01:06:08,133 --> 01:06:09,361
We won.

1233
01:06:12,233 --> 01:06:13,461
Thank you, thank you.

1234
01:06:13,566 --> 01:06:14,396
Gamma!

1235
01:06:14,500 --> 01:06:15,228
Gamma!

1236
01:06:15,333 --> 01:06:16,061
Gamma!

1237
01:06:16,166 --> 01:06:16,860
Gamma!

1238
01:06:16,966 --> 01:06:17,660
Gamma!

1239
01:06:17,766 --> 01:06:18,425
Gamma!

1240
01:06:18,533 --> 01:06:19,227
Gamma!

1241
01:06:19,333 --> 01:06:19,992
Gamma!

1242
01:06:20,099 --> 01:06:20,759
Gamma!

1243
01:06:20,866 --> 01:06:21,560
Gamma!

1244
01:06:21,666 --> 01:06:22,428
Gamma!

1245
01:06:22,533 --> 01:06:24,524
Thank you, thank you.

1246
01:06:24,633 --> 01:06:26,225
Before l was
elected president,

1247
01:06:26,333 --> 01:06:28,801
Gamma Gamma threw
average parties...

1248
01:06:28,900 --> 01:06:31,095
and made below
average impressions.

1249
01:06:31,199 --> 01:06:32,929
Not hot.

1250
01:06:33,033 --> 01:06:35,433
But since the dawn of
what i'd like to call...

1251
01:06:35,533 --> 01:06:39,025
the Victorian era, we have
achieved total hotness.

1252
01:06:42,533 --> 01:06:46,993
And we're going to be
on the cover of FHM.

1253
01:06:47,099 --> 01:06:54,597
lt's important that future
Gammas are the most poised...

1254
01:06:54,699 --> 01:06:57,863
sophisticated, and
beautiful girls on campus...

1255
01:06:57,966 --> 01:06:59,558
ftS yOU Cftn See.

1256
01:06:59,666 --> 01:07:03,124
And these are the kind of
freaks that will never get in!

1257
01:07:03,233 --> 01:07:05,394
Yeah!

1258
01:07:05,500 --> 01:07:06,797
l can't believe they
actually thought...

1259
01:07:06,900 --> 01:07:11,030
they were going to get in.

1260
01:07:11,133 --> 01:07:14,967
Let's hear it for the
Gamma girls, guys.

1261
01:07:15,066 --> 01:07:18,229
How hot is this?

1262
01:07:22,733 --> 01:07:24,257
Girls, paint them up.

1263
01:07:31,433 --> 01:07:33,128
Why won't you run?

1264
01:07:39,733 --> 01:07:40,927
This ain't right.

1265
01:07:46,933 --> 01:07:48,230
Take this!

1266
01:08:07,566 --> 01:08:09,966
l can't believe l let
her play me like that.

1267
01:08:10,066 --> 01:08:11,795
Why don't we pick
up this stuff...

1268
01:08:11,900 --> 01:08:13,424
and set the dang
house on fire?

1269
01:08:13,533 --> 01:08:15,694
And after that, we'll set
the whole campus on fire!

1270
01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:17,267
At least we'll have
somewhere to stay.

1271
01:08:17,366 --> 01:08:20,494
l hear the beds are very
comfortable in jail.

1272
01:08:20,599 --> 01:08:22,898
And we get used
to the rough sex.

1273
01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:25,867
Babs, not now.

1274
01:08:25,966 --> 01:08:28,491
Our possessions have
been strewn in the dirt...

1275
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:30,898
like our hopes
and our dreams!

1276
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:33,161
Oh, Krishna.

1277
01:08:33,266 --> 01:08:35,359
Why have you deserted us?

1278
01:08:35,466 --> 01:08:37,400
Why?

1279
01:08:37,500 --> 01:08:39,798
Gloria, l am so sorry.

1280
01:08:39,899 --> 01:08:40,958
Forget it, Derek.

1281
01:08:41,066 --> 01:08:42,192
l don't even
wanna hear it.

1282
01:08:42,300 --> 01:08:43,062
Well, you don't actually
think l had something...

1283
01:08:43,166 --> 01:08:44,497
to do with that, do you?

1284
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:45,658
lt was all a big ploy...

1285
01:08:45,766 --> 01:08:47,597
to make us look like fools
in front of everyone.

1286
01:08:47,699 --> 01:08:49,600
You disgust me.

1287
01:08:49,699 --> 01:08:52,260
l swear to you l had
nothing to do with that.

1288
01:08:52,366 --> 01:08:54,834
How do l make you
understand this?

1289
01:08:54,933 --> 01:08:57,197
l have no loyalty
to her anymore.

1290
01:08:57,300 --> 01:08:58,392
Okay.

1291
01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:00,263
Prove it.

1292
01:09:00,366 --> 01:09:03,233
What's the most
important thing to her...

1293
01:09:03,333 --> 01:09:04,561
in her shallow life?

1294
01:09:04,666 --> 01:09:06,293
Besides making us
Iook like fools?

1295
01:09:06,399 --> 01:09:07,332
l don't know.

1296
01:09:07,433 --> 01:09:08,627
l really don't know.

1297
01:09:08,733 --> 01:09:10,166
FHM magazine.

1298
01:09:10,266 --> 01:09:11,858
Getting on the cover has
been an obsession of hers...

1299
01:09:11,966 --> 01:09:13,194
since i've known her.

1300
01:09:13,300 --> 01:09:14,562
For the last three years
all she wants to do..

1301
01:09:14,666 --> 01:09:16,657
is win this stupid
contest, and l know how...

1302
01:09:16,766 --> 01:09:18,734
to make that dream
turn into a nightmare.

1303
01:09:18,833 --> 01:09:20,698
This party is gonna be the
biggest night of her life.

1304
01:09:20,800 --> 01:09:22,392
You wanna get back at her?

1305
01:09:22,500 --> 01:09:25,298
The keys to Gamma Gamma.

1306
01:09:25,399 --> 01:09:29,598
Let's do it, Gloria.

1307
01:09:29,699 --> 01:09:31,827
-Give me that.
-Yes!

1308
01:09:39,333 --> 01:09:42,166
Just like everyone,
Kristen let me down.

1309
01:09:42,266 --> 01:09:44,530
But if being mean to
people turned her off...

1310
01:09:44,633 --> 01:09:48,034
then why the hell did
she become a Gamma?

1311
01:09:48,133 --> 01:09:51,068
You are not welcome
here, stabber of backs.

1312
01:09:51,166 --> 01:09:52,758
l have a good mind to
put you over my knee...

1313
01:09:52,866 --> 01:09:55,096
and give you the spanking
of your life, young lady.

1314
01:09:55,199 --> 01:09:57,725
Oh, i've been bad, too.

1315
01:09:57,833 --> 01:10:00,666
l just wanted to
say that l'm sorry.

1316
01:10:00,766 --> 01:10:02,358
l don't know what
l was thinking...

1317
01:10:02,466 --> 01:10:04,434
and l don't blame
you for hating me...

1318
01:10:04,533 --> 01:10:06,296
but l know what
l did was wrong...

1319
01:10:06,399 --> 01:10:09,392
and l want to make
it up to you.

1320
01:10:09,500 --> 01:10:11,934
Pledging a sorority isn't
worth hurting other people...

1321
01:10:12,033 --> 01:10:16,663
especially people who
used to be your friends.

1322
01:10:16,766 --> 01:10:21,829
l forgive you, my child.

1323
01:10:21,933 --> 01:10:24,458
Excuse me.

1324
01:10:29,133 --> 01:10:31,294
l know, l wouldn't
trust me either.

1325
01:10:31,399 --> 01:10:34,460
But l've changed.

1326
01:10:34,566 --> 01:10:37,865
l want to help you guys
get back at the Gammas.

1327
01:10:37,966 --> 01:10:40,594
Let's get 'em.

1328
01:10:44,266 --> 01:10:47,326
Hello, my beautiful,
beautiful bitches.

1329
01:10:47,433 --> 01:10:50,402
Welcome to the
FHM beauty shoot...

1330
01:10:50,500 --> 01:10:52,559
because we're going to
make you on the cover...

1331
01:10:52,666 --> 01:10:54,998
of the world's best
men's magazine.

1332
01:10:55,100 --> 01:10:58,001
You are going to
absolutely look gorgeous.

1333
01:10:58,100 --> 01:10:58,998
Give me sex.

1334
01:10:59,100 --> 01:10:59,998
Give me love.

1335
01:11:00,100 --> 01:11:01,192
Give it to me.

1336
01:11:01,300 --> 01:11:02,733
This is what l want
you bitches to do.

1337
01:11:02,833 --> 01:11:05,199
Victoria, you stand
in the middle...

1338
01:11:05,300 --> 01:11:07,097
you lovely, lovely
goddess of light.

1339
01:11:07,199 --> 01:11:09,259
The rest of you bitches,
go around in a circle.

1340
01:11:09,366 --> 01:11:11,391
ln a circle!

1341
01:11:11,500 --> 01:11:12,489
Okay.

1342
01:11:12,600 --> 01:11:13,931
Yes.

1343
01:11:14,033 --> 01:11:15,625
Now, dance around
like a horse.

1344
01:11:15,733 --> 01:11:17,064
You want to be in
the picture show...

1345
01:11:17,166 --> 01:11:19,259
you have to do it like
you're on a horse.

1346
01:11:19,366 --> 01:11:22,164
All of you are creatures,
except for Victoria.

1347
01:11:22,266 --> 01:11:23,290
You stay in the middle.

1348
01:11:23,399 --> 01:11:24,458
All of you creatures.

1349
01:11:24,566 --> 01:11:26,625
Victoria, l
swear to Versace...

1350
01:11:26,733 --> 01:11:29,395
if you weren't here, l'd be
like a banana.. l'd do a split.

1351
01:11:29,500 --> 01:11:30,467
Get out of here.

1352
01:11:30,566 --> 01:11:31,498
Please, Just stay
in the middle.

1353
01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:32,760
l need to take some
pictures of you.

1354
01:11:32,866 --> 01:11:33,890
He loves me.

1355
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:35,160
He loves me.

1356
01:11:35,266 --> 01:11:36,893
l'll make him give
me that cover.

1357
01:11:47,233 --> 01:11:49,929
Those bitches, they
snuck into Gamma

1358
01:11:50,033 --> 01:11:52,194
during our group
liposuction night.

1359
01:12:02,066 --> 01:12:05,092
These are the smallest
cameras known to man.

1360
01:12:05,199 --> 01:12:12,766
The lenses are the
size of a-of a-a pinhead.

1361
01:12:12,866 --> 01:12:16,597
Virtually undetectable.

1362
01:12:16,699 --> 01:12:21,967
You can hide these
bad boys anywhere.

1363
01:12:22,066 --> 01:12:26,002
Picture frames, sunglasses...

1364
01:12:29,433 --> 01:12:32,300
You can even hide
them in a pet's fur.

1365
01:12:45,933 --> 01:12:48,993
Hey, will you be able to
find anything on Victoria?

1366
01:12:52,033 --> 01:12:54,058
Yes.

1367
01:12:54,166 --> 01:12:56,794
You guys aren't gonna
believe what l just found.

1368
01:12:56,899 --> 01:12:58,629
We got something.

1369
01:12:58,733 --> 01:13:00,724
Look what l found...

1370
01:13:00,833 --> 01:13:07,204
bonner central.

1371
01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:09,700
We're coming to you live
from the world famous...

1372
01:13:09,800 --> 01:13:12,166
South Beach Miami, for
what promises to be...

1373
01:13:12,266 --> 01:13:14,962
the hottest party of the year,
the unveiling of the new...

1374
01:13:15,066 --> 01:13:17,899
FHM sorority of the
year magazine cover.

1375
01:13:18,000 --> 01:13:20,093
Gamma Gamma sorority
won the contest...

1376
01:13:20,199 --> 01:13:21,758
and we can't wait to see
what they're wearing...

1377
01:13:21,866 --> 01:13:23,265
or not wearing.

1378
01:13:23,366 --> 01:13:24,560
Tonight.

1379
01:13:32,466 --> 01:13:34,058
Come on in girls, these guys
are gonna help you on out.

1380
01:13:34,166 --> 01:13:35,656
They're my little
temp service here.

1381
01:13:35,766 --> 01:13:37,791
This is Jos�, he
testified in trial...

1382
01:13:37,899 --> 01:13:40,130
for me with the border
patrol back in the day...

1383
01:13:40,233 --> 01:13:40,995
you know what l'm saying?

1384
01:13:41,100 --> 01:13:42,362
That guy with the
turban did it.

1385
01:13:42,466 --> 01:13:44,366
Now these guys wanna get
back at them Gamma bitches.

1386
01:13:44,466 --> 01:13:46,525
The Gammas turned
em on in to the INS...

1387
01:13:46,633 --> 01:13:49,602
so they wanna get
back at the girls too.

1388
01:13:49,699 --> 01:13:51,565
Thank you.

1389
01:13:51,666 --> 01:13:54,567
Anything you need
they're gonna help you.

1390
01:13:56,566 --> 01:13:57,965
l get hepatitis.

1391
01:14:02,199 --> 01:14:03,326
No Poops.

1392
01:14:09,133 --> 01:14:10,760
Damn!

1393
01:14:10,866 --> 01:14:12,731
l mean this is
like a buffet.

1394
01:14:12,833 --> 01:14:18,601
Oh my god, that's
Carmen Electra.

1395
01:14:18,699 --> 01:14:20,429
She's my fantasy
girlfriend.

1396
01:14:20,533 --> 01:14:22,262
She's coming here.

1397
01:14:30,333 --> 01:14:31,857
Hey.

1398
01:14:31,966 --> 01:14:37,268
Um...nice legs.

1399
01:14:37,366 --> 01:14:39,664
Thanks.

1400
01:14:39,766 --> 01:14:44,362
What time do they open?

1401
01:14:44,466 --> 01:14:47,731
l was thinking maybe we
could go somewhere...

1402
01:14:47,833 --> 01:14:53,669
and, uh...talk.

1403
01:14:53,766 --> 01:14:55,233
Oh, Dax!

1404
01:14:55,333 --> 01:14:56,698
Oh God.

1405
01:14:56,800 --> 01:14:58,062
Hey!

1406
01:14:58,166 --> 01:14:59,724
Step away from my man!

1407
01:14:59,833 --> 01:15:01,061
l don't know her.

1408
01:15:01,166 --> 01:15:04,192
Kids this is Dax,
he's your new daddy.

1409
01:15:04,300 --> 01:15:04,857
What?

1410
01:15:04,966 --> 01:15:05,762
No, l don't have kids!

1411
01:15:05,866 --> 01:15:06,560
Pony ride!

1412
01:15:06,666 --> 01:15:07,428
No-no, don't leave!

1413
01:15:07,533 --> 01:15:08,431
Wait, Carmen!

1414
01:15:12,666 --> 01:15:14,065
By any chance
are you jewish?

1415
01:15:14,166 --> 01:15:18,102
No, l'm methodist.

1416
01:15:18,199 --> 01:15:20,794
That'll do.

1417
01:15:31,366 --> 01:15:33,834
What's up, hottie?

1418
01:15:33,933 --> 01:15:36,925
Word.

1419
01:15:37,033 --> 01:15:39,729
You ever been in the
back of a pickup truck?

1420
01:15:39,833 --> 01:15:42,324
What's a pickup truck?

1421
01:15:42,433 --> 01:15:45,334
You're about to find out.

1422
01:15:50,533 --> 01:15:52,330
You're not gonna be
needing this shit.

1423
01:16:04,166 --> 01:16:05,133
Hi.

1424
01:16:05,233 --> 01:16:06,894
Hi.

1425
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:08,900
Would you like a drink?

1426
01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:10,558
Su-sure.

1427
01:16:10,666 --> 01:16:14,261
Champagne's really good
for the complexion.

1428
01:16:14,366 --> 01:16:17,802
Just kiss her
allready you big puss!

1429
01:16:17,899 --> 01:16:19,925
Wooo!

1430
01:16:20,033 --> 01:16:23,469
Oh, God, somebody kill me!

1431
01:16:23,566 --> 01:16:26,865
l'm a pony!

1432
01:16:26,966 --> 01:16:30,163
l'm a pony!

1433
01:16:30,266 --> 01:16:34,726
And now the moment
you've been waiting for...

1434
01:16:34,833 --> 01:16:39,167
FHM presents the
girls of Gamma Gamma.

1435
01:17:05,666 --> 01:17:08,191
And now, here's your
host for the evening...

1436
01:17:08,300 --> 01:17:11,565
Sofia Vergara!

1437
01:17:11,666 --> 01:17:15,534
We have searched far and
wide to find a sorority...

1438
01:17:15,633 --> 01:17:17,430
that will represent
everything...

1439
01:17:17,533 --> 01:17:20,024
that you have come
to love about FHM...

1440
01:17:20,133 --> 01:17:24,729
sex apeal, power,
style and respect.

1441
01:17:24,833 --> 01:17:28,826
Let me present to you
FHM's hottest sorority...

1442
01:17:28,933 --> 01:17:30,662
Gamma Gamma!

1443
01:17:34,000 --> 01:17:35,490
Congratulations!

1444
01:17:38,233 --> 01:17:39,200
Thank you.

1445
01:17:39,300 --> 01:17:40,995
Thank you.

1446
01:17:41,100 --> 01:17:45,400
People told me, ''Victoria
no question about it...

1447
01:17:45,500 --> 01:17:47,229
''you're the hottest
sorority leader...

1448
01:17:47,333 --> 01:17:49,301
''at South Beach University.''

1449
01:17:49,399 --> 01:17:53,302
But the entire country, l
just knew l could do it.

1450
01:17:53,399 --> 01:18:00,533
And this is only the beginning
of Victoria English.

1451
01:18:00,633 --> 01:18:04,831
This is supposed to be
about Gamma, not just her.

1452
01:18:04,933 --> 01:18:07,060
Sofia, you are so hot.

1453
01:18:07,166 --> 01:18:09,498
We should totally like
do a show together.

1454
01:18:09,600 --> 01:18:11,591
Oh my god, thank
you, of course.

1455
01:18:11,699 --> 01:18:13,292
Wouldn't that
be so hot guys?

1456
01:18:13,399 --> 01:18:14,526
Do her!

1457
01:18:21,533 --> 01:18:27,472
Hi, l have a really
big favor to ask you...

1458
01:18:27,566 --> 01:18:31,559
l seem to have dropped my
earring backing over here.

1459
01:18:31,666 --> 01:18:35,158
l was wondering if you
could help me find it.

1460
01:18:35,266 --> 01:18:37,325
All right Gammas, do you
wanna see your cover?

1461
01:18:43,899 --> 01:18:45,868
We're not even on it.

1462
01:18:45,966 --> 01:18:48,764
Victoria looks
really beautiful.

1463
01:18:51,800 --> 01:18:54,997
God l look hot.

1464
01:18:55,100 --> 01:18:58,729
Backstabbing little bitch!

1465
01:18:58,833 --> 01:19:01,233
And now lets take a
Iook behind the scenes...

1466
01:19:01,333 --> 01:19:04,734
at the hottest
sorority in America.

1467
01:19:09,133 --> 01:19:11,294
Hey everybody, l'm
Victoria English...

1468
01:19:11,399 --> 01:19:14,460
president of Gamma Gamma and
l wanna show you around.

1469
01:19:14,566 --> 01:19:17,296
This is the
master bedroom.

1470
01:19:17,399 --> 01:19:19,630
And this is Gamsie, my dog.

1471
01:19:27,166 --> 01:19:29,031
#  Twinkle-twinkle little... #

1472
01:19:37,333 --> 01:19:39,494
They showed me
on the potty.

1473
01:19:39,600 --> 01:19:42,364
What are you doing
you ugly ass?

1474
01:19:50,233 --> 01:19:53,760
You poor thing, there
you go you're better.

1475
01:19:53,866 --> 01:19:55,697
You are looking so thin.

1476
01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:56,824
Thank you.

1477
01:19:56,933 --> 01:19:58,332
Probably had
another abortion.

1478
01:20:02,933 --> 01:20:04,059
Uh-oh.

1479
01:20:14,233 --> 01:20:15,825
You fucking bitches.

1480
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:22,464
Stop the video!

1481
01:20:22,566 --> 01:20:23,897
l did not approve of this!

1482
01:20:36,399 --> 01:20:37,367
Oh my God!

1483
01:20:37,466 --> 01:20:38,831
That's my school picture!

1484
01:20:38,933 --> 01:20:39,865
Oh, my God.

1485
01:20:39,966 --> 01:20:41,160
Where did you find that?

1486
01:20:44,100 --> 01:20:46,364
Stop the video, l did
not approve of this.

1487
01:20:49,566 --> 01:20:51,625
Very, very
interesting but...

1488
01:20:51,733 --> 01:20:54,258
This isn't the right tape.

1489
01:20:54,366 --> 01:20:57,164
l was obviously joking.

1490
01:20:57,266 --> 01:21:00,895
Everybody knows what a
great sense of humor l have.

1491
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:02,729
You can't walk out on me!

1492
01:21:02,833 --> 01:21:04,892
Where are you all going?

1493
01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:06,297
None of this is true!

1494
01:21:06,399 --> 01:21:08,493
Don't you know who l am?

1495
01:21:08,600 --> 01:21:10,465
l'm Victoria English!

1496
01:21:10,566 --> 01:21:14,229
Those bitches just set this
up because their jealous!

1497
01:21:14,333 --> 01:21:16,130
Oh Shit.

1498
01:21:18,133 --> 01:21:20,158
Hey, any of you broads...

1499
01:21:20,266 --> 01:21:22,962
wanna eat sushi off
my naked body?

1500
01:21:23,066 --> 01:21:25,694
l am the one.

1501
01:21:25,800 --> 01:21:28,735
Oh, yes.

1502
01:21:28,833 --> 01:21:31,802
l am the one.

1503
01:21:35,899 --> 01:21:39,165
Aren't you one of those
Gamma Gamma girls?

1504
01:21:39,266 --> 01:21:42,360
Oh, darlin', l'm not just one
of the Gamma Gamma girls...

1505
01:21:42,466 --> 01:21:45,060
l'm victoria english.

1506
01:21:45,166 --> 01:21:47,896
Right, and l'm
Paris Hilton.

1507
01:21:54,500 --> 01:21:56,593
Where have you
been baby dick?

1508
01:21:56,699 --> 01:21:59,294
Victoria, it's all over.

1509
01:21:59,399 --> 01:22:01,334
l deserve better.

1510
01:22:01,433 --> 01:22:03,924
Better than me?

1511
01:22:04,033 --> 01:22:06,729
There's no one
better than me.

1512
01:22:06,833 --> 01:22:08,095
And there's no
way l'm gonna let...

1513
01:22:08,199 --> 01:22:09,827
some dumbass pledge
ruin my relationship...

1514
01:22:09,933 --> 01:22:11,798
with this worthless
piece of shit.

1515
01:22:11,899 --> 01:22:14,664
Victoria...

1516
01:22:14,766 --> 01:22:18,896
-Pledge this.
-Pledge this.

1517
01:22:19,000 --> 01:22:20,592
Derek disapointed me.

1518
01:22:20,699 --> 01:22:22,725
He was too clueless
to know what he had.

1519
01:22:22,833 --> 01:22:26,234
As far as l'm concerned, she
can have that tiny bastard.

1520
01:22:26,333 --> 01:22:28,324
That was great,
baby, fantastic.

1521
01:22:28,433 --> 01:22:31,163
Ari Belinsky producer
E channel Los Angeles.

1522
01:22:31,266 --> 01:22:34,724
So, where you really
an ugly kid, or what?

1523
01:22:34,833 --> 01:22:36,664
lt's all lies!

1524
01:22:36,766 --> 01:22:38,290
Oh, it's too bad.

1525
01:22:38,399 --> 01:22:40,061
l was hoping we could
do a reality show,

1526
01:22:40,166 --> 01:22:41,531
back to basic's
kind of thing...

1527
01:22:41,633 --> 01:22:44,295
but if it isn't true...

1528
01:22:44,399 --> 01:22:47,164
A show about me?

1529
01:22:47,266 --> 01:22:49,860
lt's all true!

1530
01:22:49,966 --> 01:22:51,695
lt's all true!

1531
01:22:51,800 --> 01:22:54,030
A true Gamma Gamma
never quits...

1532
01:22:54,133 --> 01:22:56,795
so l gave them the
ending they wanted.

1533
01:22:59,333 --> 01:23:03,736
Well, l guess now you
all know the real me.

1534
01:23:03,833 --> 01:23:05,528
Pretty huh?

1535
01:23:09,166 --> 01:23:11,691
Sometimes it's hard
for me to remember...

1536
01:23:11,800 --> 01:23:14,291
what it was like
all those years...

1537
01:23:14,399 --> 01:23:16,925
of being ridiculed
and laughed at.

1538
01:23:17,033 --> 01:23:19,263
l struggled to erase that
girl you saw up there...

1539
01:23:19,366 --> 01:23:23,029
and become the one that
you see down here.

1540
01:23:23,133 --> 01:23:28,469
Respected, admired, hot.

1541
01:23:28,566 --> 01:23:33,833
But l guess somewhere
along the way...

1542
01:23:33,933 --> 01:23:36,128
l became like one of those
people that caused me...

1543
01:23:36,233 --> 01:23:40,966
so much pain and that
is totally not hot.

1544
01:23:41,066 --> 01:23:44,297
lt's not about how you
Iook or building your body...

1545
01:23:44,399 --> 01:23:47,665
or straighting your nose
or getting bigger boobs.

1546
01:23:47,766 --> 01:23:52,066
lt's about your attitude
and that's what's hot...

1547
01:23:52,166 --> 01:23:54,896
and l should know
because l invented it.

1548
01:24:04,500 --> 01:24:06,331
Morgan?

1549
01:24:06,433 --> 01:24:08,492
You're a bitch!

1550
01:24:08,600 --> 01:24:12,764
You tell me now about this
hot attitude bullshit!

1551
01:24:12,866 --> 01:24:16,461
l spent my life savings
fixing my nose...

1552
01:24:16,566 --> 01:24:19,364
and my entire body
to look like you!

1553
01:24:19,466 --> 01:24:24,165
Now you tell me to
be me and not you.

1554
01:24:24,266 --> 01:24:25,893
You're a disgrace.

1555
01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:28,833
l hate you!

1556
01:24:28,933 --> 01:24:31,163
Hey, lady, get a life.

1557
01:24:36,433 --> 01:24:39,800
So, l made a nice speech
about having a good attitude...

1558
01:24:39,899 --> 01:24:41,731
and inner beauty.

1559
01:24:41,833 --> 01:24:43,425
But l can't figure out...

1560
01:24:43,533 --> 01:24:45,865
if l was mad at those girls
for showing me up...

1561
01:24:45,966 --> 01:24:47,797
or proud that they
actually managed...

1562
01:24:47,899 --> 01:24:50,232
to totally minipulate me.

1563
01:24:50,333 --> 01:24:52,358
What the heck?

1564
01:24:52,466 --> 01:24:56,903
The next year Gloria became the
president of Gamma Gamma.

1565
01:24:57,000 --> 01:25:01,869
And me, l loved
my cover so much...

1566
01:25:01,966 --> 01:25:04,400
l bought FHM magazine.

1567
01:25:05,701 --> 01:25:10,901
== The CollectorZ ==
2007