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TENACIOUS D: THE PICK OF DESTINY (2006)

2
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- Ready, Kage?
- Ready.

3
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Let's do this.

4
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Fatty.

5
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Check. Uggh.

6
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Bean and cheese burrito.

7
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Bean and chee--

8
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Tenacious sound check initiated.

9
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Engage Kage!

10
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Aah!

11
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Ha ha ha ha ha! High-five!

12
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Hnnh!

13
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OK.

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Two, three...

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# A long-ass fucking time ago
in a town called Kickapoo #

16
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# There lived a humble family,
religious through and through #

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# But hey,
there was a black sheep #

18
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# And he knew just what to do #

19
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# His name was Young JB
and he refused to step in line #

20
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# A vision he did see of
fucking rocking all the time #

21
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# He wrote a tasty jam
and all the planets did align #

22
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# Oh, the dragon's balls
were blazing #

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# As I stepped into his cave #

24
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# Then I sliced
his fucking cockles #

25
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# With my long and shiny blade #

26
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:01,786
# 'Twas I who
fucked the dragon #

27
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# Fucka lye, sing, fucka loo #

28
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# And if you try
to fuck with me #

29
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# Then I shall fuck you too #

30
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# Gotta get it on
in the party zone #

31
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# I gots to shoot a load
in the party zone #

32
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# Gotta lick a toad
in the party zone #

33
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# Gotta suck a choad
in the party zone #

34
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Aaaah!

35
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# You disobeyed my orders, son,
Why were you ever born? #

36
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# Your brother's 10 times
better than you #

37
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# Jesus loves him more #

38
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# This music
that you've played for us #

39
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# Comes from
the depths of hell #

40
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# Rock & roll's
the Devil's work #

41
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# He wants you to rebel #

42
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# You'll become
a mindless puppet #

43
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# Beelzebub
will pull the strings #

44
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# Your heart
will lose direction #

45
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# And chaos it will bring #

46
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# You better shut your mouth,
you better watch your tone #

47
00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:10,350
# You're grounded for a week
with no telephone #

48
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:13,689
# Don't let me hear you cry,
don't let me hear you moan #

49
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:17,093
# You gotta praise the Lord
when you're in my home #

50
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# Dio, can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone #

51
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# I'm asking for your guidance #

52
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# Won't you come down
from your throne? #

53
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:36,546
# I need the tight compadre
who will teach me how to rock #

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# My father thinks you're evil,
but, man, he can suck a cock #

55
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# Rock is not the Devil's work,
it's magical and rad #

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# I'll never rock as long as
I am stuck here with my dad #

57
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# I hear you,
brave young Jables #

58
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# You are hungry for the rock #

59
00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:03,839
# But to learn
the ancient methods #

60
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# Secret doors you must unlock #

61
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# Escape your
father's clutches #

62
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# And this oppressive
neighborhood #

63
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# On a journey you must go
to find the land of Hollywood #

64
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# In the city of fallen angels #

65
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:22,050
# Where the ocean
meets the sand #

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# You will form
a strong alliance #

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# And the world's
most awesome band #

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# To find your
fame and fortune #

69
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# Through the valley
you must walk #

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# You will face your inner demons #

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# Now go, my son, and rock! #

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# So he bailed
from fucking Kickapoo #

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# With hunger in his heart #

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# And he journeyed far and wide
to find the secrets of his art #

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# But in the end he knew that
he would find his counterpart #

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# Rock #

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# Ro-o-o-ck #

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# Ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o #

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# Hey-yeah-hey-yeah-hey-yeah-
yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-hey-yeah #

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# Rock! #

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# Tenacious D, Tenacious D #

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# D, D, D, D #

83
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# Oh, oh, oh, oh #

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# Tenacious #

85
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# Tenacious D, Tenacious D #

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# Tenacious D, Tenacious D #

87
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# Tenacious D #

88
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# Tenacious D,
Ten! Ten! Ten! Ten! #

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# Ten is ten, is ten,
is ten, is-- #

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This place is awesome.

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Gold man. Ha ha ha!

92
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Whoa!

93
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Ohhh! Oh, man!

94
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- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.

95
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OK, that was
the best thing I have ever seen.

96
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- Who are you?
- The name's Kyle Gass.

97
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Kyle Gass.

98
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Dude, will you just teach me
that one thing that you did?

99
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Where you're like, playing--

100
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I'm not giving
free guitar lessons today.

101
00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:09,753
Why don't you stand over there?

102
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Right here?

103
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You're awesome.

104
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This next piece
is by Johann Sebastian Bach--

105
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- Watch this.
- And it's entitled...

106
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<i>Bourr�e in E Minor.</i>

107
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Check this out,
this guy's insane.

108
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Man, are you guys stupid.

109
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Don't you know genius
when you see it?

110
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Damn!

111
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Anyway.

112
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My name's JB.

113
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My name's JB.

114
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Just rolled into town.

115
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- Would you give me some space?
- Yeah.

116
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You're kinda cramping my style.

117
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Oh, dude, I'm sorry.

118
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And you're driving
away my crowd.

119
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If you just move back,
like I asked you earlier...

120
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I think things
are going to be a lot better.

121
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- OK. Fine. Sorry.
- Thanks.

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# Can't you see he's the man? #

123
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# Let me hear you applaud #

124
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# He's more than a man,
he's a shining golden god! #

125
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# If you think #

126
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# It's time to fucking rock #

127
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# And fucking roll out of control #

128
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# Well, then you know
you've got to rock the block #

129
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# You fucking suck my fucking cock #

130
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# 'Cause when you rule,
you fucking school #

131
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# All of the fools
out of their jewels #

132
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# 'Cause if you think it's time to,
if you think it's time to #

133
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# If you think
it's time to fucking ro-ock #

134
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# He is going #

135
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# To kick your fucking ass #

136
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# And you know
his name is Kyle Gass #

137
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# Rocking and fucking rolling #

138
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# And fucking rocking
and fucking rolling #

139
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# And fucking
rip-rip-dip-diddley-diddley #

140
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# Rip-rip-dip-diddley-diddley
dip, dip #

141
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# Be-dop-bop-bop,
be-dop-bop-bop #

142
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# Be-dop-bop-bop,
be-dop-bop-bop-boo! #

143
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# Bip-bip-bip-biddle-biddle-boo,
bip-bip-bip-biddle-biddle-boo #

144
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# Boo, boo, boo,
boo, boo, boo! #

145
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# Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-baah!
Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop #

146
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# Bip, bip, bip, bip,
bip, bip, bip, bip #

147
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# Bip, bip, bip, bip-be-doo! #

148
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Yeah!

149
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Dudes!

150
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That was bad-ass.

151
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:04,269
You guys are like electric dynamite.

152
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What's the name of your band?

153
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We're not a band. They calls
me KG Solo Man Five Thousand...

154
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and I aims to keep it that way.

155
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- Aah!
- I'm outta here.

156
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This place is tapped.

157
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Jeez Louise, papa cheese.

158
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I know. It's OK.

159
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It's just part of his genius.

160
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# Well, I can't get
to sleep tonight #

161
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# No matter how hard I try #

162
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# 'Cause it's cold
and it's dark #

163
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# And the moon cannot light
the way #

164
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# And Daddy's gone #

165
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# I'm just a baby #

166
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:25,440
# Aaah-hah-hah-hah #

167
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:40,992
Well. What do we 'ave 'ere?

168
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,024
My little snuggles.

169
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- Ha ha ha!
- I spy a stinking, filthy fag!

170
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:49,168
Snivelling, boo-hoo-hoo!

171
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,869
Like a wee baby!

172
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,537
Ha ha ha!

173
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:55,206
He does look like a fucking baby.

174
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:58,683
Oh! Ha ha. Wee baby.

175
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Listen, fellas. I don't
wanna fight. So if you don't...

176
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Aaaah!

177
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,252
Look at this. What is it?

178
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Needs a popping, my brother.

179
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,455
- Ooh!
- Hey, no. Give me that back.

180
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:10,689
That's my lucky guitar pick.

181
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,789
That's my lucky guitar pick. Ow!

182
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,357
Ah! Argh! Ow!

183
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,930
Ha ha ha!

184
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,101
Hey! Okay! Let's go!

185
00:12:26,445 --> 00:12:29,437
Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Ha ha ha!

186
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:33,384
Heh heh heh! Ha ha ha!

187
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,627
Ohh...

188
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:44,492
That's right, run.

189
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:47,090
Unless you want
some more of this! Aah!

190
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,499
You saved me.

191
00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:54,097
Aah, that's all right.

192
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,232
They had it coming.

193
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,342
How can I repay you?

194
00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:01,171
We'll work something out.

195
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,062
This place is futuristic.

196
00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:28,604
Yeah, this is my pad, here.
Number four.

197
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,542
Not hard to remember.
Just think, "My door is four."

198
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,807
Pretty cool.

199
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,205
Wow. Nice pad.

200
00:13:37,249 --> 00:13:39,649
You got this place all to yourself?

201
00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:42,711
Yeah. I try to keep it simple.

202
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:44,222
This is where I stay when I write.

203
00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:46,224
It's quite, uh, minimalist.

204
00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:49,159
I don't like anything to get in
the way of my creative juices.

205
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:50,184
Cool.

206
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:52,026
I'm working on my solo album
right now.

207
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:54,259
Aaah.

208
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:55,961
Yeah, Kyle Gass Project.

209
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:59,061
It's got some pretty, uh,
breakthrough shit on it.

210
00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:01,038
Trying to keep it
on the hush-hush, though.

211
00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:04,201
Man, if you need a singer,
I am so there.

212
00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:05,232
Check it out.

213
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,006
# Ride the tiger! #

214
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:10,709
# You can see his stripes
but you know he's clean #

215
00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:14,643
It's a Ronnie James Dio song.

216
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,178
Yeah. I know.

217
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,884
I helped write it.

218
00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:20,152
I jam with him all the time.

219
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:21,853
No way!

220
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,385
- You do not know Dio!
- Sure.

221
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,762
I know all the dudes
from Sabbath.

222
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:29,893
- Dude?
- Mm?

223
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:34,731
Is there any way that
maybe I could audition...

224
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:36,434
to be in the Kyle Gass Project?

225
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:38,705
Hm. Maybe.

226
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:40,405
Oh ho ho ho!

227
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:41,674
You gotta get your chops up,
though...

228
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,114
if you wanna shred
with the big dogs, son.

229
00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:45,207
You got a lot to learn.

230
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,045
Will you teach me your ways?

231
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,550
I will teach you.

232
00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:55,287
Go ahead and sleep
on the power couch.

233
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:56,919
Your training begins tomorrow.

234
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:59,430
At the crack of noon!

235
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,895
Um--

236
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:04,433
# It could have been disaster #

237
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,495
# Till the pupil found his master #

238
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:07,903
# Something rhymes with master #

239
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,931
# He's teaching
him in the ways of rock #

240
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:11,966
Lesson number one.

241
00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:13,876
Power slide.

242
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:18,145
# Aaaah #

243
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:22,214
It's just slidin' on your knees.

244
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,482
Is it?

245
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:26,514
Or is it the single
most powerful stage move...

246
00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:28,219
in any rocker's arsenal?

247
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:31,356
Oh.

248
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:34,932
Gimme a power slide.
Full throttle.

249
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:37,625
No fear.

250
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,501
I'll give you a power slide.

251
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,942
- How'd that feel?
- Really good.

252
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:47,639
How did it look?

253
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,147
Amazing...

254
00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:50,512
...ly bad.

255
00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:53,450
# Doo-doo-doo-
mm-doodle-diddum-doo-doo #

256
00:15:53,485 --> 00:15:56,113
# I'm cleaning this apartment #

257
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:58,851
# 'Cause it's gonna
help me, maybe #

258
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,519
# Get into
the Kyle Gass Project #

259
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,393
# Roodle-oodle-doo,
roodle-oodle doo #

260
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:07,126
# Roodle-oodle-doo-doo-doo #

261
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,265
Hey, what's this check
for 200 bucks?

262
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,702
Oh, gimme that.

263
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:14,399
That's a royalty check.

264
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,408
Why's it say,
"I love you, pumpkin" on it?

265
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:19,707
Well, um, it's the name
of a song.

266
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:22,179
Big hit in Canada.

267
00:16:22,312 --> 00:16:23,973
Get back to work.

268
00:16:26,283 --> 00:16:28,342
Whoa, check out that superfox!

269
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,045
Do you think you can
handle a woman like that?

270
00:16:33,089 --> 00:16:34,750
I think so.

271
00:16:34,791 --> 00:16:36,622
Well, you'd better know so...

272
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:37,991
'cause there's gonna be
ten times hotter ones...

273
00:16:38,028 --> 00:16:39,757
backstage at the Kyle Gass Project.

274
00:16:39,796 --> 00:16:41,127
Really?

275
00:16:41,164 --> 00:16:44,531
Sex is a crucial component
to the Kyle Gass Project.

276
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:46,160
Now drop
and give me one cock push-up.

277
00:16:47,437 --> 00:16:48,495
What's a cock push-up?

278
00:16:48,538 --> 00:16:50,506
What's a cock push-up?

279
00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:53,839
A cock push-up, my friend, is
where you lay on your stomach...

280
00:16:53,877 --> 00:16:56,345
and lift yourself off the ground
with nuthin' but your boner.

281
00:16:57,647 --> 00:16:59,308
No problem.

282
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:02,209
The cock is a muscle.

283
00:17:02,252 --> 00:17:03,583
You gotta learn how to flex it.

284
00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:07,716
From now on, I want you to do
one cock push-up a day...

285
00:17:07,757 --> 00:17:09,088
every day.

286
00:17:09,125 --> 00:17:12,026
- It hurts my cock.
- Keep at it. You never know...

287
00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:14,656
when you'll need to fuck your way
out of a tight situation.

288
00:17:14,698 --> 00:17:15,892
Whoo!

289
00:17:15,932 --> 00:17:18,093
# Ding-ding-a-ding-
ding-a-ding-ding-ding #

290
00:17:18,134 --> 00:17:20,762
# His fingers move
with blinding speed #

291
00:17:20,804 --> 00:17:23,329
# Within my mind
he'll plant the seed #

292
00:17:23,373 --> 00:17:27,104
# I'm proud to be
amongst his learned flock #

293
00:17:27,143 --> 00:17:29,509
# He teaches me #

294
00:17:29,546 --> 00:17:32,242
# Beseeches me #

295
00:17:32,282 --> 00:17:35,080
# And when I've learned
all of his lessons #

296
00:17:35,118 --> 00:17:41,682
# Then I'll know the
ancient secrets of his rock #

297
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,355
Aaah.

298
00:17:46,396 --> 00:17:48,261
Yeah.

299
00:17:48,298 --> 00:17:50,095
Oh oh oh, yeah!

300
00:17:50,133 --> 00:17:52,294
I fucking did it!

301
00:17:52,335 --> 00:17:54,860
Oh, I did it!

302
00:17:59,442 --> 00:18:01,273
Hey. Dude, you reached KG.

303
00:18:01,311 --> 00:18:03,040
You know what to do. Uhhh.

304
00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:09,048
Dude, pick up.

305
00:18:09,085 --> 00:18:11,553
Dude, it's Jables. Pick up, man.

306
00:18:11,588 --> 00:18:14,284
- Yeah.
- Yeah! Ha ha ha!

307
00:18:14,324 --> 00:18:16,087
I did it, man. Check it out.

308
00:18:16,126 --> 00:18:17,320
You hear that?

309
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,850
The training is working, man.

310
00:18:18,895 --> 00:18:20,590
I made ten whole bucks
with my rock!

311
00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:22,564
Good. Go score me a dime bag.

312
00:18:22,599 --> 00:18:23,964
A what?

313
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,831
Ten dollars' worth of weed.

314
00:18:25,869 --> 00:18:28,667
Now, listen.
Go down to Wake & Bake Pizza...

315
00:18:28,705 --> 00:18:30,502
Ask for Jojo.

316
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:33,634
Tell him you want
the Bob Marley extra crispy.

317
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:34,735
He'll know
what you're talking about.

318
00:18:34,778 --> 00:18:36,302
All right, dude. Roger that.

319
00:18:36,346 --> 00:18:38,007
One extra crispy coming up!

320
00:18:39,349 --> 00:18:42,580
Stone Age man
now had the muscle power...

321
00:18:42,619 --> 00:18:47,386
and mental power necessary
to evolve to new heights.

322
00:18:47,424 --> 00:18:49,892
He then found the means
to harness...

323
00:18:49,926 --> 00:18:52,724
an even greater energy source.

324
00:18:56,032 --> 00:18:58,933
The animals and creatures around him.

325
00:18:58,968 --> 00:18:59,957
Hmm.

326
00:19:00,003 --> 00:19:02,494
Animal power would give him the food...

327
00:19:02,539 --> 00:19:06,566
and transportation, the clothing
and entertainment...

328
00:19:06,609 --> 00:19:09,737
- needed for his long journey.
- Dude, turn it to Channel 14.

329
00:19:09,779 --> 00:19:11,713
<i>In Search of Sasquatch is on.</i>

330
00:19:15,518 --> 00:19:19,249
When you are able to snatch
this remote from my hand...

331
00:19:19,289 --> 00:19:21,883
you will be ready to choose
the channels we watch.

332
00:19:22,926 --> 00:19:24,723
Try to snatch it.

333
00:19:38,174 --> 00:19:39,573
Aah, fuck!

334
00:19:39,609 --> 00:19:43,010
Patience, young grass smoker.
Patience.

335
00:19:43,947 --> 00:19:45,744
Welcome to the gig simulator.

336
00:19:45,782 --> 00:19:49,218
If you pass this test,
your training is complete.

337
00:19:49,252 --> 00:19:53,086
You will be ready to audition
for the KGP.

338
00:19:53,123 --> 00:19:54,181
The what?

339
00:19:54,224 --> 00:19:55,748
Kyle Gass Project?

340
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:57,020
Oh, right, right.

341
00:19:57,861 --> 00:19:58,850
Hold on.

342
00:19:58,895 --> 00:20:01,056
Aaah.

343
00:20:02,832 --> 00:20:05,300
Here's your 'za. That'll be 15.50.

344
00:20:05,335 --> 00:20:07,235
- Cool.
- Hey.

345
00:20:07,270 --> 00:20:09,830
Aren't you the guitar guy
from the boardwalk?

346
00:20:09,873 --> 00:20:12,068
- Yeah.
- I'm Lee.

347
00:20:12,108 --> 00:20:14,736
- Kage.
- Whoa!

348
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:17,975
You guys puttin' on a concert?
Can I watch?

349
00:20:18,014 --> 00:20:20,005
- Half off the pie?
- Dealio.

350
00:20:21,384 --> 00:20:23,545
Right on. Come on in.

351
00:20:25,255 --> 00:20:27,052
Hu...

352
00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:33,427
Um...I don't know
if that's such a good idea, KG.

353
00:20:33,463 --> 00:20:36,261
Uh, I'd rather not do this
in front of strangers.

354
00:20:36,299 --> 00:20:37,288
What do you think
it's going to be like...

355
00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:38,857
when we play the Coliseum?

356
00:20:38,902 --> 00:20:40,028
No strangers allowed?

357
00:20:40,069 --> 00:20:41,764
OK.

358
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:44,035
Let the simulation begin.

359
00:20:44,073 --> 00:20:45,904
Uh--Ha ha. All right.

360
00:20:46,843 --> 00:20:48,743
So, should I sing a song?

361
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,414
Hey, sing something, douchebag!

362
00:20:54,684 --> 00:20:56,584
OK.

363
00:20:56,619 --> 00:20:59,247
You know what? I wanna start
off--offstage and come out...

364
00:20:59,289 --> 00:21:01,917
'cause that's the way
I like, imagine it.

365
00:21:01,958 --> 00:21:04,392
Just--just come
in from the wings.

366
00:21:04,427 --> 00:21:08,363
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Kyle Gass Project!

367
00:21:08,398 --> 00:21:09,956
Aaah!

368
00:21:12,135 --> 00:21:15,070
Hey, what's up? I'm JB
from the Kyle Gass Project.

369
00:21:15,638 --> 00:21:18,106
Get on with it, dumb shit.

370
00:21:18,141 --> 00:21:21,076
All right, Kage,
let's do it, man. Two, three.

371
00:21:21,110 --> 00:21:24,102
# The Kyle Gass a-Project
is a-out of control! #

372
00:21:24,147 --> 00:21:25,136
# All right! #

373
00:21:27,984 --> 00:21:30,179
Get off the stage,
you stupid dillweed.

374
00:21:34,624 --> 00:21:38,116
# He'd turn me to a diamond
from a piece of coal #

375
00:21:38,161 --> 00:21:40,152
# Yeah yeah yeah #

376
00:21:41,498 --> 00:21:43,329
Boo!

377
00:21:43,366 --> 00:21:46,335
Boo! Boo!

378
00:21:46,369 --> 00:21:47,996
Boooo!

379
00:21:48,037 --> 00:21:50,528
Go back to Kickapoo,
you fat-ass momma's boy!

380
00:21:50,573 --> 00:21:52,200
Boo!

381
00:21:52,242 --> 00:21:55,211
# You're teaching me
the secrets of the pumpkin patch #

382
00:21:55,245 --> 00:21:57,679
- Boo!
- Ow! Aah!

383
00:21:57,714 --> 00:21:59,875
- Boo!
- Urgh.

384
00:21:59,916 --> 00:22:01,543
Hey, that's really...

385
00:22:01,584 --> 00:22:06,715
- Hey! You suck!
- You suck! Suck! Suck!

386
00:22:06,756 --> 00:22:09,657
Jesus. You call that music?

387
00:22:09,692 --> 00:22:11,421
You're nothing but a mistake.

388
00:22:11,461 --> 00:22:13,361
I should have worn a condom.

389
00:22:13,396 --> 00:22:15,455
I was not a mistake.

390
00:22:15,498 --> 00:22:17,227
Power slide.

391
00:22:21,704 --> 00:22:24,172
Aaagh! Aaah, aaah!

392
00:22:24,207 --> 00:22:27,370
- He's had enough. Turn it off.
- Aagh. Aaaah!

393
00:22:27,410 --> 00:22:29,139
Lights!

394
00:22:29,178 --> 00:22:31,874
- Oooh.
- Hey, hey, it's OK.

395
00:22:31,915 --> 00:22:34,850
- I suck!
- You don't suck.

396
00:22:34,884 --> 00:22:36,715
I broke my guitar!

397
00:22:36,753 --> 00:22:37,913
Monster mash!

398
00:22:37,954 --> 00:22:40,923
Nobody passes the gig simulator
on the first time.

399
00:22:40,957 --> 00:22:43,357
Not even this guy.

400
00:22:43,393 --> 00:22:45,384
You didn't?

401
00:22:45,428 --> 00:22:47,555
But then you did pass it later?

402
00:22:47,597 --> 00:22:51,055
I passed later, but, you know,
took me a couple of tries.

403
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:53,967
- Oh, you did? I was doing...
- You know you can do it.

404
00:22:54,003 --> 00:22:55,334
- It was going pretty good.
- Right.

405
00:22:55,371 --> 00:22:57,362
Until I got--until I got to the--

406
00:22:57,407 --> 00:22:58,601
When I messed up on that thing.

407
00:22:58,641 --> 00:23:00,734
Let's clean this place up.
What do you say?

408
00:23:00,777 --> 00:23:04,144
<i>And then we'll do bongloads
and play Maximum Overthruster.</i>

409
00:23:04,180 --> 00:23:05,943
- Hey, dude, it's KG.
- Do some bongloads?

410
00:23:05,982 --> 00:23:08,450
You know what to do. Uhhh.

411
00:23:09,018 --> 00:23:10,610
Hi, pumpkin. It's your mother.

412
00:23:10,653 --> 00:23:12,553
Your father and I have decided...

413
00:23:12,589 --> 00:23:16,889
that 15 years of trying to be a famous
musician is long enough.

414
00:23:16,926 --> 00:23:18,587
So I'm sorry to say...

415
00:23:18,628 --> 00:23:20,323
we aren't going to be sending
you any more rent checks.

416
00:23:20,363 --> 00:23:21,762
It's time to get a real job.

417
00:23:21,798 --> 00:23:23,459
I love you, pumpki--

418
00:23:27,036 --> 00:23:29,903
"I love you, pumpkin"?

419
00:23:29,939 --> 00:23:32,237
Those weren't royalty checks.

420
00:23:33,476 --> 00:23:35,376
I can't believe this machine, it's--

421
00:23:35,411 --> 00:23:37,140
Let's watch TV, you wanna?

422
00:23:40,350 --> 00:23:42,113
You lied to me.

423
00:23:47,457 --> 00:23:49,288
- You don't know Dio.
- Hey!

424
00:23:49,325 --> 00:23:51,953
<i>I think that In Search
of Sasquatch is on.</i>

425
00:23:51,995 --> 00:23:54,122
- Hold on.
- Give me that fucking remote.

426
00:23:54,163 --> 00:23:56,461
No! Leave it!

427
00:23:56,499 --> 00:23:58,592
No!

428
00:23:58,635 --> 00:24:00,603
Aaah!

429
00:24:00,637 --> 00:24:02,229
- Ohhh!
- Aaah!

430
00:24:03,339 --> 00:24:05,705
Who are you?

431
00:24:07,076 --> 00:24:08,805
Here's your lunch, pumpkin.

432
00:24:08,845 --> 00:24:10,779
Thanks, Mom.

433
00:24:10,813 --> 00:24:12,940
Oh! Mwah!

434
00:24:12,982 --> 00:24:14,074
I love you, pumpkin.

435
00:24:23,326 --> 00:24:24,987
- Hey, pumpkin!
- Ha ha ha!

436
00:24:25,028 --> 00:24:27,189
Hah! What's with the hat, dude?

437
00:24:27,230 --> 00:24:29,027
Your mom sew that for you?
Ha ha ha!

438
00:24:30,033 --> 00:24:31,796
Ha ha ha!

439
00:24:31,834 --> 00:24:35,270
- Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
- Oh, my God!

440
00:24:35,304 --> 00:24:37,431
Your mom shine that for you
when you go to bed?

441
00:24:37,473 --> 00:24:41,705
- Cue ball!
- Science experiment gone wrong!

442
00:24:41,744 --> 00:24:43,575
- Freakazoid!
- Ha ha ha!

443
00:24:45,481 --> 00:24:47,005
I'm fucking outta here.

444
00:24:53,990 --> 00:24:55,321
Don't walk away from me!

445
00:24:56,859 --> 00:24:59,054
I fucking cleaned your apartment, man.

446
00:25:00,430 --> 00:25:02,921
What are you doin'?

447
00:25:02,965 --> 00:25:04,899
Why are you packing?

448
00:25:06,602 --> 00:25:08,229
I have to go back to my mom and dad's.

449
00:25:09,272 --> 00:25:12,036
I'm broke.

450
00:25:12,075 --> 00:25:13,667
I already spent the last rent check.

451
00:25:13,710 --> 00:25:16,008
Oh, you fucking dick!

452
00:25:16,045 --> 00:25:18,309
What'd you spend the money on? Huh?

453
00:25:18,347 --> 00:25:20,838
An official professor bullshit degree?

454
00:25:20,883 --> 00:25:22,942
What'd you spend the rent on?

455
00:25:32,361 --> 00:25:33,350
I got that for you.

456
00:26:31,754 --> 00:26:33,915
Stop packing, dude.

457
00:26:33,956 --> 00:26:36,789
We're gonna pay the rent...

458
00:26:36,826 --> 00:26:38,794
with our rock.

459
00:26:38,828 --> 00:26:41,422
- We are?
- Yeah.

460
00:26:41,464 --> 00:26:44,922
But we're not gonna be called
the Kyle Gass Project.

461
00:26:44,967 --> 00:26:46,628
From now on...

462
00:26:46,669 --> 00:26:50,230
we will be known as Tenac.

463
00:26:50,273 --> 00:26:52,241
Tenac?

464
00:26:52,275 --> 00:26:53,936
What's that?

465
00:26:53,976 --> 00:26:56,274
It's a sign.

466
00:26:56,312 --> 00:26:57,973
A legacy.

467
00:27:02,952 --> 00:27:05,750
I've had this birthmark since I was born.

468
00:27:06,756 --> 00:27:08,986
I looked it up in the dictionary.

469
00:27:10,326 --> 00:27:12,658
It's not in there.

470
00:27:12,695 --> 00:27:15,095
I never knew what the hell it meant.

471
00:27:15,131 --> 00:27:17,531
Till now.

472
00:27:17,567 --> 00:27:19,865
It's the name of our fuckin' band, dude.

473
00:27:21,070 --> 00:27:23,129
I have ass-mark too.

474
00:27:31,581 --> 00:27:33,173
You guys!

475
00:27:35,418 --> 00:27:36,817
Look!

476
00:27:43,159 --> 00:27:45,787
# Whoa! #

477
00:27:47,630 --> 00:27:50,656
# They must pay the rent #

478
00:27:51,667 --> 00:27:55,068
# With their rock #

479
00:27:55,104 --> 00:28:04,843
# Oh-ohhhh, oh, oh #

480
00:28:07,884 --> 00:28:11,718
But thaaaaat's my life.

481
00:28:15,524 --> 00:28:17,185
All right.

482
00:28:17,226 --> 00:28:20,525
Neil Hamburger,
everybody, Neil Hamburger.

483
00:28:20,563 --> 00:28:22,554
Funny stuff.

484
00:28:22,598 --> 00:28:25,362
Uh, the next band
asked me to read this.

485
00:28:25,401 --> 00:28:28,029
"Since the beginning of time...

486
00:28:28,070 --> 00:28:32,370
"'twas written in the stones
that one day, a band would come.

487
00:28:32,408 --> 00:28:34,933
"Well, that band has come...

488
00:28:34,977 --> 00:28:37,571
"and now they're here
to come again...

489
00:28:37,613 --> 00:28:40,104
"in your ear-pussies."

490
00:28:41,450 --> 00:28:43,680
Ladies and gentlemen,
Tenacious D.

491
00:28:45,888 --> 00:28:48,083
That was awesome,
the way you read that.

492
00:28:48,124 --> 00:28:49,386
Kage. Kage?

493
00:28:49,425 --> 00:28:51,586
Don't forget
to fucking bring the thunder.

494
00:28:51,627 --> 00:28:51,727
- OK.
- Hey, what's up?

495
00:28:51,727 --> 00:28:53,058
- OK.
- Hey, what's up?

496
00:28:53,095 --> 00:28:55,188
We're Tenacious D
and this is our first concert ever...

497
00:28:55,231 --> 00:28:56,425
so it's kinda historical.

498
00:28:56,465 --> 00:28:59,491
And, um, we wrote this song that
gives you a little taste...

499
00:28:59,535 --> 00:29:00,797
of, like, the history of the band.

500
00:29:00,836 --> 00:29:02,098
Let's fucking do it, Kage, go!

501
00:29:02,138 --> 00:29:05,505
<i>This is a song called
The History Of Tenacious D.</i>

502
00:29:05,541 --> 00:29:06,530
And it's not just
a list of bullshit...

503
00:29:06,575 --> 00:29:07,633
that we've done in the past.

504
00:29:07,677 --> 00:29:09,474
It's a chronicling of our rise.

505
00:29:09,512 --> 00:29:10,740
To power!

506
00:29:10,780 --> 00:29:13,544
# We ride with kings
on mighty steeds #

507
00:29:13,582 --> 00:29:15,311
# Across the Devil's plain #

508
00:29:15,351 --> 00:29:18,081
# We've walked
with Jesus and his cross #

509
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:19,883
# He did not die in vain #

510
00:29:19,922 --> 00:29:21,583
# No! #

511
00:29:24,827 --> 00:29:27,057
# We've run with wolves,
we've climbed K2 #

512
00:29:27,096 --> 00:29:29,257
# We even stopped a moving train #

513
00:29:29,298 --> 00:29:31,664
# We've traveled through
space and time, my friends #

514
00:29:31,701 --> 00:29:33,396
# To rock this house again #

515
00:29:33,436 --> 00:29:34,903
# Rock! #

516
00:29:38,441 --> 00:29:40,409
# We ride and we ride
we'll never subside #

517
00:29:40,443 --> 00:29:42,274
# We'll ride
till the planets collide #

518
00:29:42,311 --> 00:29:44,905
# And if you say that
we do not ride #

519
00:29:44,947 --> 00:29:47,108
# I'll tan your fucking hide #

520
00:29:47,149 --> 00:29:48,878
# Ride! #

521
00:29:51,854 --> 00:29:52,980
# Kyle's fingers be silver #

522
00:29:53,022 --> 00:29:54,319
# Jack's voice then be gold #

523
00:29:54,357 --> 00:29:56,484
# But lest you think we're vain #

524
00:29:56,525 --> 00:29:58,755
# We know you're all robots
and we don't care #

525
00:29:58,794 --> 00:30:00,261
# Tenacious D #

526
00:30:00,296 --> 00:30:02,161
# We reign! #

527
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,461
# We reign #

528
00:30:06,502 --> 00:30:08,629
# Supreme, oh God! #

529
00:30:08,671 --> 00:30:10,036
# Burrito supreme #

530
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,265
# And a chicken supreme #

531
00:30:13,309 --> 00:30:15,971
# And a Cutlass Supreme #

532
00:30:16,012 --> 00:30:19,539
# Supreme, yeah #

533
00:30:19,582 --> 00:30:22,050
# Gonna count one, two, three #

534
00:30:22,084 --> 00:30:25,645
# Supreme, yeah #

535
00:30:25,688 --> 00:30:27,849
# Gonna count one, two, three #

536
00:30:28,557 --> 00:30:31,993
# Supre--ee--eme #

537
00:30:32,028 --> 00:30:34,292
# Gonna count one, two, three #

538
00:30:34,330 --> 00:30:36,025
# Burrito supreme #

539
00:30:36,065 --> 00:30:38,329
# And a chicken supreme #

540
00:30:38,367 --> 00:30:40,699
# And a Cutlass Supreme #

541
00:30:40,736 --> 00:30:42,727
# Supreme! #

542
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,374
Yeah!

543
00:30:45,374 --> 00:30:47,001
Let's go!

544
00:30:47,043 --> 00:30:49,568
Ha ha ha!

545
00:30:49,612 --> 00:30:51,807
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

546
00:30:53,949 --> 00:30:55,246
You guys, wait for me outside.

547
00:30:55,284 --> 00:30:57,445
I'm gonna go talk to the big cheese.

548
00:30:57,486 --> 00:30:58,578
Good call.

549
00:31:00,623 --> 00:31:02,454
So?

550
00:31:02,491 --> 00:31:04,015
What'd you think?

551
00:31:04,060 --> 00:31:05,789
It was OK.

552
00:31:05,828 --> 00:31:07,227
- It was OK?
- Mm-hm.

553
00:31:07,263 --> 00:31:08,491
You were OK. We were kick-ass.

554
00:31:08,531 --> 00:31:10,761
And we're gonna totally win
that money next week...

555
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,427
at the open mic contest.

556
00:31:12,468 --> 00:31:14,436
Well, good luck.

557
00:31:14,470 --> 00:31:16,904
You know there's a lot
of stiff competition, so...

558
00:31:16,939 --> 00:31:20,602
you might wanna think about
writing some new material.

559
00:31:23,913 --> 00:31:27,007
That was amazing. You guys
changed people's lives tonight.

560
00:31:27,049 --> 00:31:28,812
I know, we were so awesome.

561
00:31:28,851 --> 00:31:31,684
Yeah, it was awesome.
Compared to bullshit.

562
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,244
But compared to the greats?

563
00:31:33,289 --> 00:31:37,123
To Zeppelin? To the Beatles?
To fucking Beethoven?

564
00:31:38,260 --> 00:31:40,125
True. We were kick-ass.

565
00:31:40,162 --> 00:31:42,687
But if the D's gonna
win that prize money...

566
00:31:42,731 --> 00:31:45,598
we're gonna have to write
a fucking masterpiece!

567
00:31:46,569 --> 00:31:47,729
Are you with me?

568
00:31:47,770 --> 00:31:49,237
Totally.

569
00:31:49,772 --> 00:31:50,761
Power hug.

570
00:32:02,218 --> 00:32:04,209
Masterpiece.

571
00:32:04,253 --> 00:32:07,279
# A masterpiece, a masterpiece #

572
00:32:07,323 --> 00:32:11,089
# They've got to write a masterpiece
to pay the rent #

573
00:32:12,194 --> 00:32:14,754
Do it!

574
00:32:14,797 --> 00:32:16,128
All right,
no more fucking around.

575
00:32:16,165 --> 00:32:18,395
Masterpiece is right in there.

576
00:32:18,434 --> 00:32:20,095
All we have to do is step
into that magic circle...

577
00:32:20,136 --> 00:32:21,501
and the masterpiece is ours.

578
00:32:21,537 --> 00:32:22,868
Are you ready?

579
00:32:22,905 --> 00:32:24,133
Are you ready
to write a fucking masterpiece?

580
00:32:24,173 --> 00:32:25,299
- 'Cause I sure the fuck am.
- Yeah!

581
00:32:25,341 --> 00:32:27,832
Let's go!

582
00:32:27,877 --> 00:32:29,276
What are you doing?
Go. Go. Play something.

583
00:32:29,311 --> 00:32:31,370
Go fast. The magic only lasts a second.

584
00:32:31,413 --> 00:32:33,244
No, don't play fast.
I said start fast.

585
00:32:33,282 --> 00:32:34,772
But keep going, yes.

586
00:32:34,817 --> 00:32:36,944
Try to make it prettier.
Prettier, prettier. Prettier.

587
00:32:36,986 --> 00:32:38,544
Stop judging yourself,
you're judging yourself.

588
00:32:38,587 --> 00:32:39,713
That's why that riff sucks.

589
00:32:39,755 --> 00:32:42,553
No fucking mental blocks.
Release the...

590
00:32:42,591 --> 00:32:43,990
# Chi #

591
00:32:44,026 --> 00:32:45,357
That's all right.

592
00:32:45,394 --> 00:32:46,827
Now, can you play a little
higher, higher, higher up?

593
00:32:46,862 --> 00:32:49,330
Higher notes, higher notes,
higher notes, higher notes.

594
00:32:49,365 --> 00:32:51,833
Higher notes, higher notes,
can you play any higher notes?

595
00:32:51,867 --> 00:32:53,095
Sorry, I didn't mean to yell.

596
00:32:53,135 --> 00:32:54,466
I'm not looking for anything specific...

597
00:32:54,503 --> 00:32:56,198
but that's definitely
the wrong part of the cosmos.

598
00:32:56,238 --> 00:32:58,638
I want it over here, in the
newer, hotter part. Like--

599
00:32:58,674 --> 00:33:01,234
# Molten lava! #

600
00:33:01,277 --> 00:33:03,711
# That's the thing,
keep playing that riff #

601
00:33:03,746 --> 00:33:07,113
# Because we gotta
get it on tonight, aah #

602
00:33:07,149 --> 00:33:08,673
What are you doing?
Were we recording?

603
00:33:08,717 --> 00:33:10,309
Press record. Press record.

604
00:33:10,352 --> 00:33:12,115
Oh, God damn it, it's too late!

605
00:33:12,154 --> 00:33:13,951
- Aah. Fu--
- God damn it, Kyle, we had it.

606
00:33:13,989 --> 00:33:16,719
We were right there in it
and you were too slow.

607
00:33:16,759 --> 00:33:19,455
You didn't remember to do shit,
you didn't do what I told you...

608
00:33:19,495 --> 00:33:22,430
and things got crossed,
chakras were fucking exploded.

609
00:33:22,464 --> 00:33:23,624
If we're gonna do this thing right...

610
00:33:23,666 --> 00:33:25,361
you gotta do what I tell you to do!

611
00:33:25,401 --> 00:33:28,063
Daaah! Fa-gaah!

612
00:33:29,171 --> 00:33:30,638
I wanna write a masterpiece.

613
00:33:30,673 --> 00:33:33,972
I know, dude. So do I.

614
00:33:37,546 --> 00:33:39,605
It's all right.

615
00:33:39,648 --> 00:33:42,913
We've got writers' block,
it happens to the best of 'em.

616
00:33:42,952 --> 00:33:45,079
I mean, look at these guys.

617
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:47,645
AC/DC. Van Halen.

618
00:33:47,690 --> 00:33:49,351
The Who!

619
00:33:49,391 --> 00:33:52,087
Why are you guys so awesome?

620
00:33:52,127 --> 00:33:54,391
What do you have
that we don't have?

621
00:33:55,698 --> 00:33:57,598
Well, they all use
the same guitar pick.

622
00:33:58,968 --> 00:34:01,027
What?

623
00:34:08,043 --> 00:34:11,012
Looks like they all use
the same guitar pick.

624
00:34:13,048 --> 00:34:15,573
Holy shitballs.

625
00:34:26,295 --> 00:34:27,626
Too many picks.

626
00:34:27,663 --> 00:34:29,221
Let's see.

627
00:34:33,135 --> 00:34:34,466
I don't think they have it.

628
00:34:34,503 --> 00:34:36,733
Let's talk to the dude. We might
have to special order it.

629
00:34:36,772 --> 00:34:40,105
Marcus, I need a price check
on Ernie Ball amp caster stat.

630
00:34:40,142 --> 00:34:41,666
Just be a second.

631
00:34:41,710 --> 00:34:42,972
Can I help you gentlemen?

632
00:34:43,012 --> 00:34:46,106
Yeah, we're looking for
a guitar pick like this one.

633
00:34:52,921 --> 00:34:55,321
How'd you hear about this?

634
00:34:55,357 --> 00:34:56,790
What did Papardello tell you?

635
00:34:59,261 --> 00:35:02,719
Uh--Ahem. We just noticed
that all these musicians...

636
00:35:02,765 --> 00:35:03,754
are using the same guitar pick--

637
00:35:03,799 --> 00:35:04,788
Okay ka-ssh!

638
00:35:09,571 --> 00:35:13,974
Jerry, do me a favor, uh, ring up
these amp casters for me.

639
00:35:14,009 --> 00:35:15,670
Thank you, my man.

640
00:35:21,083 --> 00:35:22,744
In here.

641
00:35:30,492 --> 00:35:32,960
We can talk in here.

642
00:35:32,995 --> 00:35:35,293
What you seek...

643
00:35:35,331 --> 00:35:37,026
is the Pick...

644
00:35:38,767 --> 00:35:40,166
of Destiny.

645
00:35:41,904 --> 00:35:44,304
I think there's
a light switch back here.

646
00:35:44,340 --> 00:35:46,331
No, dude, you don't...

647
00:35:48,143 --> 00:35:50,202
Grab a seat.

648
00:35:50,245 --> 00:35:52,270
You two bozos
don't even realize it...

649
00:35:52,314 --> 00:35:53,645
but you just stumbled onto...

650
00:35:53,682 --> 00:35:55,547
the darkest secret
in the history of rock.

651
00:35:55,584 --> 00:35:57,518
Go on.

652
00:35:57,553 --> 00:35:59,953
I actually saw it once.

653
00:35:59,988 --> 00:36:01,649
I used to be a guitar tech.

654
00:36:01,690 --> 00:36:04,250
So one night, I'm working a gig
up in New Jersey or something.

655
00:36:04,293 --> 00:36:05,624
Some real mediocre band.

656
00:36:05,661 --> 00:36:07,891
Lead guitarist comes out,
starts shredding licks...

657
00:36:07,930 --> 00:36:09,795
way beyond his capabilities.

658
00:36:09,832 --> 00:36:11,697
Like shit that had to be
coming from somewhere else.

659
00:36:11,734 --> 00:36:13,725
I noticed he was using a new pick.

660
00:36:13,769 --> 00:36:16,431
Weird-looking thing with horns on it.

661
00:36:16,472 --> 00:36:19,373
Made of green ivory, or some shit.

662
00:36:19,408 --> 00:36:21,706
It was the pick, it wasn't him.

663
00:36:21,744 --> 00:36:23,075
He didn't know what he had, though.

664
00:36:23,112 --> 00:36:24,909
End of the show, he flicks it
back into the audience.

665
00:36:24,947 --> 00:36:27,643
Some kid catches it.

666
00:36:27,683 --> 00:36:29,446
Kid named Eddie.

667
00:36:29,485 --> 00:36:30,474
Eddie?

668
00:36:30,519 --> 00:36:32,077
Van Halen!

669
00:36:32,121 --> 00:36:33,782
Whoa.

670
00:36:33,822 --> 00:36:36,086
So I started researching it.

671
00:36:36,125 --> 00:36:40,084
Turns out this thing goes deeper
than I could have imagined.

672
00:36:40,129 --> 00:36:42,063
Way deeper.

673
00:36:42,831 --> 00:36:44,799
Back to the Dark Ages.

674
00:36:44,833 --> 00:36:47,165
I moved to Rome. Quit my job.

675
00:36:47,202 --> 00:36:48,669
Learned Latin.

676
00:36:48,704 --> 00:36:51,400
I gained the trust of the
night librarian at the Vatican.

677
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:53,567
A gentleman named
Salvatore Papardello.

678
00:36:53,609 --> 00:36:55,736
He turned me on to some shit
that you wouldn't believe.

679
00:36:55,778 --> 00:36:57,803
Check this out.

680
00:36:57,846 --> 00:36:59,973
It's an ancient scroll.

681
00:37:00,015 --> 00:37:01,642
All in Latin.

682
00:37:01,683 --> 00:37:04,379
I translated it. Took me six years.

683
00:37:04,420 --> 00:37:06,752
Why didn't you just get a translator?

684
00:37:06,789 --> 00:37:09,189
And let him read it too?

685
00:37:11,994 --> 00:37:14,326
Listen to this.

686
00:37:14,363 --> 00:37:17,628
Long ago, a dark wizard
used his black magic...

687
00:37:17,666 --> 00:37:19,031
to summon Satan himself.

688
00:37:20,102 --> 00:37:21,933
Satanus.

689
00:37:21,970 --> 00:37:23,733
That's Latin for Satan.

690
00:37:23,772 --> 00:37:25,672
A horrific battle ensued.

691
00:37:25,707 --> 00:37:28,403
But the great demon
was far too powerful.

692
00:37:28,444 --> 00:37:30,469
Snakes!

693
00:37:30,512 --> 00:37:33,072
Finish me, foul beast!

694
00:37:33,115 --> 00:37:35,879
Luckily, a blacksmith
heard the beast's roars.

695
00:37:35,918 --> 00:37:38,113
No!

696
00:37:38,987 --> 00:37:40,249
Ow!

697
00:37:40,289 --> 00:37:42,723
Fuck! You chipped my tooth.

698
00:37:42,758 --> 00:37:44,157
I'm not complete.

699
00:37:44,193 --> 00:37:47,458
Venisti remanebis
donec denuo completus sis.

700
00:37:47,496 --> 00:37:48,963
What does that mean?

701
00:37:48,997 --> 00:37:52,433
From whence you came
you shall remain...

702
00:37:54,069 --> 00:37:55,798
until you are complete again.

703
00:37:56,705 --> 00:37:58,195
Fuck you! No!

704
00:37:58,240 --> 00:38:01,232
No! I'm not complete!

705
00:38:01,276 --> 00:38:03,506
The demon was drawn back
into the fires of hell...

706
00:38:03,545 --> 00:38:07,447
and the dark wizard
was totally stoked to be alive.

707
00:38:07,483 --> 00:38:09,713
With a long draw on his hash pipe...

708
00:38:09,751 --> 00:38:12,777
the wizard devised a way
to repay the blacksmith.

709
00:38:12,821 --> 00:38:15,051
The blacksmith loved a fair maiden.

710
00:38:15,090 --> 00:38:18,355
To gain her affection, he would
need a true master skill...

711
00:38:18,393 --> 00:38:20,987
that would leave the maiden
moist and wanting.

712
00:38:21,029 --> 00:38:24,260
And so the wizard fashioned
the demon's tooth...

713
00:38:24,299 --> 00:38:27,200
into a pick that would make
the blacksmith play...

714
00:38:27,236 --> 00:38:30,262
only the most masterful
of melodies on his lute...

715
00:38:31,607 --> 00:38:35,873
thereby winning the heart
of the maiden he loved.

716
00:38:37,179 --> 00:38:40,307
The secret of the pick died
with that blacksmith.

717
00:38:40,349 --> 00:38:41,680
And then...poof!

718
00:38:41,717 --> 00:38:44,948
All of a sudden it reappears
in the American South...

719
00:38:44,987 --> 00:38:47,455
at the turn of the century,
in Robert Johnson's fingers.

720
00:38:47,489 --> 00:38:49,980
Spawns the birth of the blues.
And rock & roll.

721
00:38:50,025 --> 00:38:51,117
Of course.

722
00:38:51,159 --> 00:38:53,354
The pick is a tiny part
of the beast...

723
00:38:53,395 --> 00:38:55,693
so it has
supranatural qualities.

724
00:38:55,731 --> 00:38:58,996
- Supernatural?
- No, supra-natural.

725
00:38:59,034 --> 00:39:02,492
That's like
a whole other level above super.

726
00:39:02,538 --> 00:39:04,165
Where is it now?

727
00:39:05,474 --> 00:39:09,137
That's the last known photo
of the pick.

728
00:39:09,177 --> 00:39:10,542
That guitar was sold at auction.

729
00:39:10,579 --> 00:39:13,810
It now resides in the
Rock & Roll History Museum.

730
00:39:15,150 --> 00:39:17,141
That's where the POD is too.

731
00:39:17,185 --> 00:39:20,245
- The POD?
- The Pick of Destiny.

732
00:39:20,289 --> 00:39:21,722
Oh.

733
00:39:21,757 --> 00:39:23,987
Why didn't you just go get it?

734
00:39:24,026 --> 00:39:27,052
The Rock & Roll History Museum
is an impenetrable fortress.

735
00:39:27,095 --> 00:39:31,589
You two bozos wanna steal
the Pick of Destiny...

736
00:39:31,633 --> 00:39:32,930
count me out.

737
00:39:32,968 --> 00:39:35,061
I already went down
that rabbit hole once.

738
00:39:35,103 --> 00:39:37,196
And I got news for you.

739
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,537
There's no cheese at
the end of that tunnel, buddy.

740
00:39:40,876 --> 00:39:43,106
All right, get outta here.
I told you enough already.

741
00:39:43,145 --> 00:39:45,010
C'mon, get outta here.

742
00:39:45,047 --> 00:39:47,038
Man, I don't know what to say.

743
00:39:47,082 --> 00:39:48,777
Shh.

744
00:39:48,817 --> 00:39:50,842
Just get outta my store.

745
00:39:53,589 --> 00:39:55,250
The Quest!

746
00:40:03,332 --> 00:40:05,857
Oh, my God! You guys!
What are you doin' here?

747
00:40:05,901 --> 00:40:07,926
- Come on in!
- Actually, we can't stay.

748
00:40:07,970 --> 00:40:09,369
We were hopin'
you'd do us a favor.

749
00:40:09,404 --> 00:40:11,634
Anything you need, man.

750
00:40:11,673 --> 00:40:14,301
- Do you think it would be OK--
- We need your car.

751
00:40:14,343 --> 00:40:16,368
Oh.

752
00:40:16,411 --> 00:40:19,539
Um, well,
kinda need it for work.

753
00:40:19,581 --> 00:40:20,878
Listen, man.

754
00:40:20,916 --> 00:40:23,714
We've got a meeting
with the hugest president...

755
00:40:23,752 --> 00:40:26,380
of the most massive
record company in the business.

756
00:40:26,421 --> 00:40:28,753
We need to meet him
in Sacramento tonight.

757
00:40:28,790 --> 00:40:30,155
Oh.

758
00:40:30,192 --> 00:40:31,989
Uh--

759
00:40:32,027 --> 00:40:33,756
Well--

760
00:40:33,795 --> 00:40:35,057
All right.

761
00:40:35,097 --> 00:40:36,621
Hey, what's up with this pedal?

762
00:40:36,665 --> 00:40:38,098
That's my extra brake.

763
00:40:38,133 --> 00:40:40,829
I'm a pizza delivery guy
and a driving instructor.

764
00:40:40,869 --> 00:40:43,702
I teach people how to drive
while I deliver 'zas.

765
00:40:43,739 --> 00:40:45,730
Ha ha ha! Good thinkin', man.

766
00:40:46,475 --> 00:40:47,772
Later.

767
00:40:52,848 --> 00:40:55,612
Knock 'em dead
at the meeting, you guys.

768
00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:00,984
I can't stop thinkin'
about that fuckin' pick.

769
00:41:01,023 --> 00:41:03,651
You heard the guy. It's Satan's tooth.

770
00:41:03,692 --> 00:41:05,182
When we get that thing...

771
00:41:05,227 --> 00:41:06,785
we're gonna win
that fuckin' prize money...

772
00:41:06,828 --> 00:41:09,763
then we're gonna
dominate the world of rock.

773
00:41:10,766 --> 00:41:13,564
We're gonna be unstoppable, man.

774
00:41:13,602 --> 00:41:16,298
Hmmm...

775
00:41:16,338 --> 00:41:18,363
Unstoppable.

776
00:41:18,407 --> 00:41:22,138
Unstoppable.

777
00:41:22,177 --> 00:41:24,304
Unstoppable.

778
00:41:24,346 --> 00:41:27,611
This, uh, next band
asked me not to read this...

779
00:41:27,649 --> 00:41:32,677
but, God damn it,
I'm going to read it anyway...

780
00:41:32,721 --> 00:41:34,348
because I wrote it...

781
00:41:34,389 --> 00:41:36,653
and it's the truth.

782
00:41:36,692 --> 00:41:39,525
"I fucking love this band!"

783
00:41:40,662 --> 00:41:44,359
They are the best band ever, period!

784
00:41:44,399 --> 00:41:50,497
Ladies and gentlemen, Tenacious D!

785
00:41:56,244 --> 00:41:57,404
Hey, what's up?

786
00:41:57,446 --> 00:42:01,405
Me and KG wrote this song
five minutes ago.

787
00:42:01,450 --> 00:42:03,247
<i>It's called Master Exploder.</i>

788
00:42:19,234 --> 00:42:28,905
# Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh #

789
00:42:28,944 --> 00:42:36,612
# Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh yeah! #

790
00:42:38,353 --> 00:42:41,379
- # I do not need #
-# He does not need #

791
00:42:41,423 --> 00:42:44,790
- # A microphone #
-# A microphone #

792
00:42:44,826 --> 00:42:47,260
- # My voice is fucking #
-# Fucking #

793
00:42:47,295 --> 00:42:49,525
# Powerful #

794
00:42:51,066 --> 00:42:59,599
# Ahh, yeah! #

795
00:43:09,751 --> 00:43:18,659
# Ah, ahh, yeah! #

796
00:43:20,162 --> 00:43:21,151
Sorry.

797
00:43:22,831 --> 00:43:26,130
- # I did not mean #
-# He did not mean #

798
00:43:26,168 --> 00:43:29,604
- # To blow your mind #
-# To blow your mind #

799
00:43:29,638 --> 00:43:39,809
# But that shit happens to me
all the ti-i-i-ime #

800
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:01,494
- # Now, take a look #
-# Take a look #

801
00:44:01,536 --> 00:44:04,528
- # Tell me what you see #
-# What you see #

802
00:44:04,573 --> 00:44:13,447
# We got the Pick of Destiny--y--y #

803
00:44:13,481 --> 00:44:21,786
# Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
ahh-ahh yeah! #

804
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:26,957
Woah!

805
00:44:30,332 --> 00:44:36,032
JB! JB! JB! JB!

806
00:44:36,071 --> 00:44:41,270
JB! JB! JB! JB! JB!

807
00:44:41,309 --> 00:44:43,211
- JB! JB! JB!
- JB. JB. JB.

808
00:44:43,211 --> 00:44:45,304
- JB! JB! JB!
- JB. JB. JB.

809
00:44:45,347 --> 00:44:47,645
JB, wake up. JB, wake up!

810
00:44:50,218 --> 00:44:51,685
Let's chow down, dude.

811
00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:53,483
- I'm starving.
- OK.

812
00:45:12,407 --> 00:45:13,999
You guys know what you want?

813
00:45:14,042 --> 00:45:16,442
Hmm.

814
00:45:16,478 --> 00:45:18,241
What do you recommend?

815
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,180
I recommend
that you order some food.

816
00:45:21,349 --> 00:45:22,748
OK.

817
00:45:22,784 --> 00:45:28,450
Uh--Lemme have
the fried chicken and a steak...

818
00:45:29,324 --> 00:45:30,552
and the chicken-fried steak.

819
00:45:32,227 --> 00:45:33,660
Hello.

820
00:45:33,695 --> 00:45:36,220
Um--What happened to your eye?

821
00:45:38,099 --> 00:45:40,124
I burned it with a curling iron.

822
00:45:41,469 --> 00:45:44,199
I'll have one small glass
of carrot juice.

823
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:45,467
Yeah, we don't have that here.

824
00:45:45,507 --> 00:45:47,270
Then I will have nothing.

825
00:45:47,309 --> 00:45:48,970
Great.

826
00:45:52,747 --> 00:45:54,908
- Dude, what's the matter?
- Dude?

827
00:45:54,950 --> 00:45:56,747
Aren't you hungry?
You should eat somethin'.

828
00:45:56,785 --> 00:45:59,117
No. I never eat before a mission.

829
00:45:59,154 --> 00:46:00,621
It slows you down.

830
00:46:00,655 --> 00:46:03,180
I gotta be light on my feet
like a dancer.

831
00:46:03,224 --> 00:46:05,089
Like a fuckin' ninja, dude.

832
00:46:05,126 --> 00:46:06,115
Now check this out.

833
00:46:06,161 --> 00:46:07,958
I'm gonna jump this fence here.

834
00:46:07,996 --> 00:46:09,486
OK? Like a gazelle.

835
00:46:09,531 --> 00:46:11,999
Then you come around
that fuckin' bend.

836
00:46:12,033 --> 00:46:14,501
God! Damn it, Kyle!

837
00:46:14,536 --> 00:46:16,470
If we're gonna do this,
you gotta stay focused.

838
00:46:16,504 --> 00:46:18,301
Eye of le tigre!

839
00:46:18,340 --> 00:46:19,466
Now check it out.

840
00:46:19,507 --> 00:46:22,601
You give me a fuckin' boost,
He-Man style.

841
00:46:22,644 --> 00:46:25,078
And then we're gonna fuckin' do
a little mini-tiger roll...

842
00:46:25,113 --> 00:46:26,239
- And come on back.
- Oh, my God. Stop it!

843
00:46:26,281 --> 00:46:27,873
I fuckin' pull your shit up.

844
00:46:27,916 --> 00:46:30,282
Dude, hold on. That's good stuff.

845
00:46:35,523 --> 00:46:38,083
You're right, he's coming over here.

846
00:46:40,695 --> 00:46:42,856
- Oh!
- Fuckin' dick squeezer.

847
00:46:58,847 --> 00:47:00,678
Aaah!

848
00:47:06,321 --> 00:47:07,982
Uh--

849
00:47:14,963 --> 00:47:16,624
Hey...

850
00:47:17,932 --> 00:47:19,923
buddy.

851
00:47:19,968 --> 00:47:22,732
Heh heh heh.

852
00:47:22,771 --> 00:47:26,502
So, uh, what, uh, brings you...

853
00:47:26,541 --> 00:47:29,305
to this neck of the woods?

854
00:47:29,344 --> 00:47:32,142
Um--Ahem. We're just
on a little business trip.

855
00:47:32,180 --> 00:47:33,909
Mm.

856
00:47:33,948 --> 00:47:36,416
Are you, uh, going to, uh...

857
00:47:36,451 --> 00:47:39,511
check out
the Rock & Roll History Museum?

858
00:47:39,554 --> 00:47:42,182
- The Rock & Roll what?
- History Museum.

859
00:47:42,223 --> 00:47:43,588
Oh, no. I don't even know
what you're talkin' about.

860
00:47:43,625 --> 00:47:47,584
You just seem like
Rock & Roll types to me.

861
00:47:47,629 --> 00:47:49,153
- Ha ha!
- Yeah, well, we're not.

862
00:47:49,197 --> 00:47:51,131
We're just
two fuckin' businessmen...

863
00:47:51,166 --> 00:47:52,724
on our way
to see some shit in Sacramento.

864
00:47:52,767 --> 00:47:55,065
- So, sorry.
- Hmm. Yes. Yes.

865
00:47:55,103 --> 00:47:57,697
I was just asking because...

866
00:47:57,739 --> 00:48:01,175
I noticed the guitars
in the back seat of your car.

867
00:48:01,209 --> 00:48:03,609
Yeah, well, I said,
we're fuckin' businessmen.

868
00:48:03,645 --> 00:48:05,545
We sell guitars. So what?
Big deal. End of story.

869
00:48:05,580 --> 00:48:06,842
Check, please!

870
00:48:06,881 --> 00:48:08,109
You're sure you aren't planning...

871
00:48:08,149 --> 00:48:10,947
on breaking into
the Rock & Roll History Museum?

872
00:48:10,985 --> 00:48:13,044
Hey, gimme that back, man!

873
00:48:15,957 --> 00:48:17,686
Yeah, my buddy and I are in a band.

874
00:48:17,725 --> 00:48:20,489
I don't like to say the name,
but uh, we had some hits...

875
00:48:20,528 --> 00:48:22,359
And so, uh, they're inductin' us...

876
00:48:22,397 --> 00:48:24,865
into the Rock & Roll History Museum.

877
00:48:24,899 --> 00:48:26,730
- No way!
- Aaah.

878
00:48:26,768 --> 00:48:28,133
Way.

879
00:48:28,169 --> 00:48:30,228
Oh, my God. We're sitting
with someone famous?

880
00:48:30,271 --> 00:48:31,738
Ah, we're just regular guys.

881
00:48:31,773 --> 00:48:35,709
I mean, uh,
we're just flesh and...bone.

882
00:48:49,090 --> 00:48:51,786
Let's just say you are planning...

883
00:48:51,826 --> 00:48:54,488
on breaking into
the Rock & Roll History Museum.

884
00:48:55,630 --> 00:48:57,461
Maybe you are inexperienced...

885
00:48:57,499 --> 00:49:01,560
and you get inside
and cry like little girl.

886
00:49:01,603 --> 00:49:05,232
Maybe you don't have
what it takes to get the job done.

887
00:49:09,177 --> 00:49:11,077
'Scuse me.

888
00:49:13,047 --> 00:49:14,912
Man, God!

889
00:49:20,755 --> 00:49:23,280
Yeah. Damn.

890
00:49:37,539 --> 00:49:44,638
I was thinking maybe there
was something in that museum...

891
00:49:44,679 --> 00:49:46,806
you had a desire for.

892
00:49:48,049 --> 00:49:50,984
Maybe--

893
00:49:51,019 --> 00:49:52,646
Pick of Destiny!

894
00:49:57,926 --> 00:50:01,157
Our sorority is throwing
a huge bash tonight.

895
00:50:01,196 --> 00:50:03,289
You guys should totally come...

896
00:50:03,331 --> 00:50:04,889
and play some
of your songs at the party.

897
00:50:04,933 --> 00:50:07,197
We're just getting ready
to head over there right now.

898
00:50:07,235 --> 00:50:09,135
Why don't you follow us over?

899
00:50:09,170 --> 00:50:10,967
You know what?

900
00:50:11,005 --> 00:50:12,233
That sounds rad.

901
00:50:12,273 --> 00:50:14,332
We don't usually play private parties...

902
00:50:14,375 --> 00:50:18,641
but I think we can make
some dreams come true tonight.

903
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:20,477
Hee hee hee hee!

904
00:50:20,515 --> 00:50:21,982
I'll ride along with you.

905
00:50:22,016 --> 00:50:23,745
So you don't get lost.

906
00:50:25,253 --> 00:50:29,314
I tried to get
the Pick of Destiny once.

907
00:50:29,357 --> 00:50:32,622
I had it in my hands, too.

908
00:50:32,660 --> 00:50:36,061
But I was caught. Set off a laser.

909
00:50:36,097 --> 00:50:39,157
Security door came down on my leg.

910
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,259
- Cut it right off.
- Ooh.

911
00:50:41,302 --> 00:50:45,261
I would break in again
if I still had my leg.

912
00:50:47,775 --> 00:50:50,767
My leg. Oh, man.

913
00:50:50,812 --> 00:50:54,942
I miss that sweet-ass leg of mine.

914
00:50:54,983 --> 00:50:57,349
Why are you telling me this?

915
00:51:00,421 --> 00:51:05,051
I like you. I see the spark
in your eye that I once had.

916
00:51:05,093 --> 00:51:07,027
Let me show you something.

917
00:51:09,230 --> 00:51:12,461
These are my plans.
They will help you, I promise.

918
00:51:12,500 --> 00:51:15,298
There are two air ducts on the roof.

919
00:51:15,336 --> 00:51:17,531
You must enter through there.

920
00:51:17,572 --> 00:51:19,301
Speak of this to no one!

921
00:51:20,441 --> 00:51:22,102
Wait.

922
00:51:22,143 --> 00:51:23,804
Wait, I have some questions.

923
00:51:23,845 --> 00:51:25,176
Let me wipe.

924
00:51:25,213 --> 00:51:26,271
Hold up, dude.

925
00:51:31,953 --> 00:51:35,286
Dude. I got some smokin' bettys
over there...

926
00:51:35,323 --> 00:51:36,620
and they want us to play a gig.

927
00:51:36,658 --> 00:51:39,752
No. I just had the weirdest
conversation of my life.

928
00:51:39,794 --> 00:51:42,228
This guy just gave me
the perfect plan.

929
00:51:42,263 --> 00:51:43,787
Now, look.

930
00:51:43,831 --> 00:51:47,267
There's two air ducts on the roof.

931
00:51:48,036 --> 00:51:50,334
Dude. The party?

932
00:51:50,371 --> 00:51:52,066
Gettin' to play our own tunes?

933
00:51:52,106 --> 00:51:56,475
That blonde over there wants
to ride my wrinklestick, yo.

934
00:51:56,511 --> 00:51:59,139
Would you get your head out of
the fuckin' pussy-clouds, man?

935
00:51:59,180 --> 00:52:00,841
Who cares about these chicks?

936
00:52:00,882 --> 00:52:02,975
There's gonna be ten times
hotter babes backstage...

937
00:52:03,017 --> 00:52:04,917
when we win album of the year.

938
00:52:04,952 --> 00:52:07,420
This pick is our ticket to genius.

939
00:52:07,455 --> 00:52:11,323
Dude. I can't believe you'd
pass by a gig opportunity...

940
00:52:11,359 --> 00:52:12,986
with some sweet-ass hotties--

941
00:52:13,027 --> 00:52:14,119
What, for this?

942
00:52:14,162 --> 00:52:16,528
Is this really
that important to you? Huh?

943
00:52:16,564 --> 00:52:19,089
We can still write a masterpiece
and win that dough.

944
00:52:19,133 --> 00:52:20,760
Maybe it would be better for the D...

945
00:52:20,802 --> 00:52:22,827
if we worked on our songwriting...

946
00:52:22,870 --> 00:52:25,065
instead of relying on ancient bullshit, but--

947
00:52:25,106 --> 00:52:26,664
probably won't work anyway.

948
00:52:28,176 --> 00:52:29,871
What's it gonna be, Kyle?

949
00:52:29,911 --> 00:52:31,674
You have to decide.

950
00:52:32,513 --> 00:52:35,710
Tits or destiny?

951
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:40,581
Tits.

952
00:52:49,330 --> 00:52:50,820
So, good luck, buddy.

953
00:52:50,865 --> 00:52:52,856
I hope it was worth it,
because we're done.

954
00:52:52,900 --> 00:52:54,299
You ruined it. Pick's mine.

955
00:52:54,335 --> 00:52:56,235
Fuck you. I don't fuckin' need you.

956
00:52:56,270 --> 00:52:58,670
Later, cock-ass!

957
00:53:03,144 --> 00:53:05,271
Uh, don't mind him. He--

958
00:53:05,313 --> 00:53:06,837
He's my butler.

959
00:53:06,881 --> 00:53:08,644
Had to let him go for loafin'.

960
00:53:08,683 --> 00:53:10,082
He--he'll--he'll be fine.

961
00:53:10,118 --> 00:53:13,849
Excuse me, um, are you gonna
charge us for all the refills?

962
00:53:13,888 --> 00:53:16,356
No, you're so pretty,
you get everything for free.

963
00:53:21,429 --> 00:53:23,021
Well, that's a really good deal.

964
00:53:24,265 --> 00:53:30,693
# Ohhh, ahhh, whoa, why? #

965
00:53:30,738 --> 00:53:31,762
# Woo! #

966
00:53:31,806 --> 00:53:33,569
It's just a five-mile walk.

967
00:53:33,608 --> 00:53:36,270
I can walk that.
I don't need a car.

968
00:53:36,310 --> 00:53:38,437
I'll take the fuckin' shoelace express.

969
00:53:38,479 --> 00:53:39,912
Aaaah!

970
00:53:39,947 --> 00:53:42,279
- Woo!
- Fuck you!

971
00:53:48,656 --> 00:53:51,454
# I want you, Jyne #

972
00:53:51,492 --> 00:53:52,925
# All the time #

973
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:54,359
# I want you, Jyne #

974
00:53:55,763 --> 00:53:58,561
- Where we goin'?
-# I want you, Jyne #

975
00:53:58,599 --> 00:54:01,796
# Gonna make you mine #

976
00:54:01,836 --> 00:54:03,599
# Tonight #

977
00:54:03,638 --> 00:54:06,573
Stop. Stop the music.

978
00:54:06,607 --> 00:54:10,805
Everybody, we have got
a special surprise tonight.

979
00:54:10,845 --> 00:54:13,507
We have brought with us someone...

980
00:54:13,548 --> 00:54:16,574
who just happens to be a rock star!

981
00:54:16,617 --> 00:54:18,585
Whoo!

982
00:54:18,619 --> 00:54:21,213
That's in town to be conducted...

983
00:54:21,255 --> 00:54:24,986
into the Rock & Roll History Museum.

984
00:54:25,026 --> 00:54:26,789
- Whoo!
- Yeah!

985
00:54:26,828 --> 00:54:30,628
And he promised to come here tonight...

986
00:54:30,665 --> 00:54:33,566
and play us a few of his hits.

987
00:54:33,601 --> 00:54:35,228
- Oh--
- So...

988
00:54:35,269 --> 00:54:37,100
- You know--
- Let's give it up!

989
00:54:37,138 --> 00:54:39,436
- Whoo!
- I don't have a guitar.

990
00:54:39,474 --> 00:54:41,601
I don't have my gui--
I don't have a guitar.

991
00:54:41,642 --> 00:54:43,542
- All right!
- Whoo!

992
00:54:43,578 --> 00:54:45,978
- All right, come on!
- Um--

993
00:54:47,682 --> 00:54:50,276
This is a song, um--

994
00:54:50,318 --> 00:54:51,808
I wrote with my partner.

995
00:54:52,587 --> 00:54:54,521
My f--former partner.

996
00:54:54,555 --> 00:54:57,251
<i>And, uh, it's called
The History Of Tenacious D.</i>

997
00:54:57,291 --> 00:54:59,282
- Whoo!
- Whoo!

998
00:54:59,327 --> 00:55:01,921
- Nice!
- Yeah!

999
00:55:08,102 --> 00:55:10,468
# Across the Devil's plain #

1000
00:55:10,505 --> 00:55:11,733
Huh?

1001
00:55:12,707 --> 00:55:15,198
# He did not die in vain, no #

1002
00:55:15,243 --> 00:55:16,904
- That sucked.
- Yeah.

1003
00:55:16,944 --> 00:55:19,708
# I want you, Jyne #

1004
00:55:19,747 --> 00:55:21,442
- # Need it all the time #
- Ha ha ha!

1005
00:55:21,482 --> 00:55:23,643
- That sucked.
-# I want you, Jyne #

1006
00:55:23,684 --> 00:55:25,584
# Oh, girl, you're so divine #

1007
00:55:25,620 --> 00:55:27,485
# I want you, Jyne #

1008
00:55:31,893 --> 00:55:33,884
One more and that's it.

1009
00:55:37,899 --> 00:55:39,560
Aah.

1010
00:55:40,902 --> 00:55:42,529
It's a good thing
I found these mushrooms.

1011
00:55:42,570 --> 00:55:44,868
I was fucking starving.

1012
00:55:44,906 --> 00:55:47,636
Mmm. Mm.

1013
00:55:47,675 --> 00:55:49,336
Aah.

1014
00:55:52,313 --> 00:55:54,304
This place is kinda...

1015
00:55:57,752 --> 00:55:59,413
juicy.

1016
00:56:01,622 --> 00:56:05,353
Zzzzzhing!

1017
00:56:18,973 --> 00:56:20,804
Ha ha ha!

1018
00:56:28,716 --> 00:56:30,547
Hee hee!

1019
00:56:38,259 --> 00:56:41,660
Oh, my God! Sasquatch!

1020
00:56:41,696 --> 00:56:43,926
Aaaaah!

1021
00:56:43,965 --> 00:56:46,900
Jables! What's up?

1022
00:56:46,934 --> 00:56:48,299
Ho ho ho!

1023
00:56:48,336 --> 00:56:50,861
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

1024
00:56:51,472 --> 00:56:54,066
What are you doin' out here?

1025
00:56:54,108 --> 00:56:56,508
I was just walkin'
in your beautiful forest.

1026
00:56:56,544 --> 00:56:59,775
Oh, it's not my fowest, bwother.

1027
00:56:59,814 --> 00:57:01,975
It's evewyone's.

1028
00:57:02,016 --> 00:57:03,608
You're so fuckin' awesome.

1029
00:57:03,651 --> 00:57:06,586
I love yoooou!

1030
00:57:06,621 --> 00:57:08,486
I love you too, JB.

1031
00:57:08,522 --> 00:57:10,922
You're a awesome rocker.
Ha ha ha!

1032
00:57:10,958 --> 00:57:13,051
Whoo!

1033
00:57:13,094 --> 00:57:15,585
- Let's pway!
- Ha ha ha!

1034
00:57:15,630 --> 00:57:18,292
Aaaaah!

1035
00:57:18,332 --> 00:57:21,199
Aaaaah-oooh!

1036
00:57:21,235 --> 00:57:22,600
That's good.

1037
00:57:22,637 --> 00:57:24,867
- Let's go on a adventure.
- Yeah!

1038
00:57:24,905 --> 00:57:28,170
I got lots to show you.

1039
00:57:28,209 --> 00:57:30,439
Can I be a Sasquatch too?

1040
00:57:31,746 --> 00:57:34,237
You alweady are.

1041
00:57:34,281 --> 00:57:36,715
You're my son, JB.

1042
00:57:36,751 --> 00:57:38,981
My widdle baby Sass.

1043
00:57:39,020 --> 00:57:41,079
# La-la-lai-la #

1044
00:57:41,122 --> 00:57:43,420
# La, la, la-la-la-la-la-la #

1045
00:57:43,457 --> 00:57:44,481
Oh!

1046
00:57:44,525 --> 00:57:47,119
Let's take a dip
in the stwawberry wiver!

1047
00:57:47,161 --> 00:57:48,924
- Yay!
- Come on!

1048
00:57:48,963 --> 00:57:49,952
Oooh!

1049
00:57:49,997 --> 00:57:51,658
# Let's go #

1050
00:57:54,268 --> 00:57:58,034
Ohhhh! Yeah. This is fun.

1051
00:57:59,073 --> 00:58:01,064
Ohhhhh!

1052
00:58:01,108 --> 00:58:04,703
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

1053
00:58:04,745 --> 00:58:06,940
Good times.

1054
00:58:06,981 --> 00:58:08,278
- This is fun.
- Good times.

1055
00:58:08,315 --> 00:58:10,840
This is--This is super fun!

1056
00:58:15,489 --> 00:58:16,888
Ha ha ha!

1057
00:58:16,924 --> 00:58:18,915
Ohhh!

1058
00:58:18,959 --> 00:58:20,824
Ha ha! Daddy, look. Look.

1059
00:58:20,861 --> 00:58:22,226
It's stuck to my butt.

1060
00:58:22,263 --> 00:58:25,755
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

1061
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:27,893
Shake your tushie, it'll fall off.

1062
00:58:27,935 --> 00:58:30,096
- Aah!
- Oh!

1063
00:58:30,137 --> 00:58:32,469
Let's get wid of these.

1064
00:58:34,575 --> 00:58:36,509
- Ah!
-# Ooh, la-la-la, ooh #

1065
00:58:36,544 --> 00:58:39,172
- Time to fly.
- Yeah.

1066
00:58:39,213 --> 00:58:42,376
- Whee.
- Ha ha ha! Whee!

1067
00:58:42,416 --> 00:58:46,250
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

1068
00:58:46,287 --> 00:58:46,353
- Hee hee! Hee hee hee!
- We're flying!

1069
00:58:46,353 --> 00:58:50,119
- Hee hee! Hee hee hee!
- We're flying!

1070
00:58:50,157 --> 00:58:52,591
- We're flying!
- Hold on, boy!

1071
00:58:52,626 --> 00:58:54,753
# Found where the Sasquatch hide #

1072
00:58:54,795 --> 00:58:56,763
# In the misty mountainside #

1073
00:58:56,797 --> 00:59:01,325
# He's got shiny diamonds
that he's got to protect #

1074
00:59:01,368 --> 00:59:03,666
# Look into the Sasquatch eye #

1075
00:59:03,704 --> 00:59:05,535
# Then you know
that Sass can fly #

1076
00:59:05,573 --> 00:59:10,374
# Sasquatch is my daddy
and he's going to protect me! #

1077
00:59:10,411 --> 00:59:12,174
# Half man and half machine #

1078
00:59:12,213 --> 00:59:14,238
# On the cover of a magazine #

1079
00:59:14,281 --> 00:59:18,945
# Bigfoot is my father
and he's got to protect me! #

1080
00:59:18,986 --> 00:59:20,886
# These lyrics don't make sense #

1081
00:59:20,921 --> 00:59:22,548
# Think I've found the evidence #

1082
00:59:22,590 --> 00:59:26,617
# That yeti is my papa
and he wants to protect-- #

1083
00:59:26,660 --> 00:59:28,321
# Me! #

1084
00:59:29,630 --> 00:59:32,360
Do you know where
I can find the Pick of Destiny?

1085
00:59:32,399 --> 00:59:35,766
Sure! It's right over there!

1086
00:59:35,803 --> 00:59:37,395
Oh! Let's get it!

1087
00:59:37,438 --> 00:59:40,601
I can get it if I surf on your--

1088
00:59:40,641 --> 00:59:43,303
Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!

1089
00:59:44,512 --> 00:59:46,446
Aaaaah! Sweet baby!

1090
00:59:47,581 --> 00:59:51,984
Oh! Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah!

1091
00:59:52,019 --> 00:59:53,486
Ow!

1092
00:59:55,523 --> 00:59:57,047
Oh, God!

1093
00:59:58,292 --> 01:00:00,192
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!

1094
01:00:00,227 --> 01:00:02,422
Oh! Oh, God.

1095
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:07,290
Oh, God.

1096
01:00:07,334 --> 01:00:09,495
Where the fuck am I?

1097
01:00:12,406 --> 01:00:13,930
Yeah, you motherfucker.

1098
01:00:13,974 --> 01:00:15,168
I'm gonna get that son--

1099
01:00:31,358 --> 01:00:34,122
# Dude, I totally miss you #

1100
01:00:34,161 --> 01:00:36,561
# I really fuckin' miss you #

1101
01:00:36,597 --> 01:00:40,328
# I'm all alone all the time #

1102
01:00:40,367 --> 01:00:42,198
# All the time #

1103
01:00:42,236 --> 01:00:44,796
# Dude, I totally miss you #

1104
01:00:44,839 --> 01:00:47,569
# The things we did together #

1105
01:00:47,608 --> 01:00:52,545
# Where have you gone? #

1106
01:00:53,881 --> 01:00:57,408
# Totally miss the honesty
and special times #

1107
01:00:57,451 --> 01:01:03,048
# And honestly I totally miss
the fucked up thing you do #

1108
01:01:04,291 --> 01:01:07,749
# Dude, I totally miss you #

1109
01:01:07,795 --> 01:01:09,990
# I totally miss you #

1110
01:01:10,030 --> 01:01:14,797
# Dude, I totally miss you
all the time #

1111
01:01:16,737 --> 01:01:21,174
# Aaaah #

1112
01:01:22,576 --> 01:01:26,706
# Aaaah #

1113
01:01:29,516 --> 01:01:32,349
# Aaaah-aaaah-aaaah #

1114
01:01:32,386 --> 01:01:36,982
- # Aaaah, I totally aaaah you #
- Ha ha ha!

1115
01:01:37,024 --> 01:01:38,423
Did you see that?

1116
01:01:38,459 --> 01:01:40,290
- That was awesome.
-# Dude, I totally miss you #

1117
01:01:40,327 --> 01:01:42,989
- That was great.
-# I totally miss you #

1118
01:01:43,030 --> 01:01:48,332
# Dude, I totally miss you
all the time #

1119
01:01:50,537 --> 01:01:55,167
# All the t-i-i-ime #

1120
01:02:07,154 --> 01:02:08,678
# The mission is clear #

1121
01:02:08,722 --> 01:02:10,053
# I'm goin' over there #

1122
01:02:10,090 --> 01:02:12,752
# I'm goin' to do the mission #

1123
01:02:12,793 --> 01:02:15,591
# I'm going to flip around the corner
flat as a pancake #

1124
01:02:15,629 --> 01:02:18,257
# And then l--Oh, no, the camera! #

1125
01:02:18,299 --> 01:02:20,767
# Stay back here, devise a plan #

1126
01:02:20,801 --> 01:02:24,464
# Dive into the bushes #

1127
01:02:24,505 --> 01:02:26,871
# Against all odds #

1128
01:02:26,907 --> 01:02:30,365
# Infiltrate, storm the gate! #

1129
01:02:31,412 --> 01:02:32,640
# Storm the gate! #

1130
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:35,240
- # Ninja style, Samurai #
-# Storm the gate! #

1131
01:02:35,282 --> 01:02:38,342
- # Metal pole, climb that shit #
-# Storm the gate! #

1132
01:02:38,385 --> 01:02:40,751
# Climb into that motherfucker #

1133
01:02:40,788 --> 01:02:43,279
# Now I'm climbin' up, up on a roof #

1134
01:02:43,324 --> 01:02:46,760
# I've got catlike reflexes, flip-- #

1135
01:02:46,794 --> 01:02:47,988
- ...me, I elbow him--
- One guy?

1136
01:02:48,028 --> 01:02:49,017
He's tryin' to punch me in the neck.

1137
01:02:49,063 --> 01:02:50,792
- Yeah.
- I look down...

1138
01:02:50,831 --> 01:02:53,163
and there's two guys goin',
"I'm--We're gonna punch you."

1139
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:54,667
So they're punchin' up at me...

1140
01:02:54,702 --> 01:02:56,863
I got both elbows down like this.

1141
01:02:56,904 --> 01:02:58,064
Pull both their hair...

1142
01:02:58,105 --> 01:02:59,936
and I made them both
poke each other's eyes out.

1143
01:02:59,974 --> 01:03:01,839
So they're both blind,
there's blood everywhere--

1144
01:03:01,875 --> 01:03:04,969
# Against all odds #

1145
01:03:05,012 --> 01:03:07,412
# Infiltrate, oh, storm the gate! #

1146
01:03:07,448 --> 01:03:09,439
What the fuck?

1147
01:03:12,786 --> 01:03:15,414
# Two air vents on the roof #

1148
01:03:15,456 --> 01:03:18,254
# That's what the guy was talkin' a--shit! #

1149
01:03:18,292 --> 01:03:20,123
- Fuck!
-# Electric eye #

1150
01:03:21,729 --> 01:03:24,630
# Infiltrate, storm the gate! #

1151
01:03:25,866 --> 01:03:27,128
# Storm the gate! #

1152
01:03:28,168 --> 01:03:31,899
# Storm the gate! #

1153
01:03:32,606 --> 01:03:33,368
Ow!

1154
01:03:33,407 --> 01:03:37,036
God damn it! Aah!

1155
01:03:37,077 --> 01:03:37,344
God! That was KG's fault.

1156
01:03:37,344 --> 01:03:39,539
God! That was KG's fault.

1157
01:03:39,580 --> 01:03:41,172
If he'd been here
like we planned...

1158
01:03:41,215 --> 01:03:42,341
he coulda lowered me down
with a rope...

1159
01:03:42,383 --> 01:03:44,112
but dick-ass
had to follow his cock.

1160
01:03:44,151 --> 01:03:48,417
And you know when I go quadruple
plat he'll come a-knockin'--

1161
01:03:48,455 --> 01:03:51,515
"Dude, can I come back
and join the band now?"

1162
01:03:51,558 --> 01:03:53,822
And I'll be like,
"No way, cockshiner."

1163
01:03:53,861 --> 01:03:55,328
And then he'll be like--

1164
01:03:55,362 --> 01:03:56,386
Can you hear me?

1165
01:03:56,430 --> 01:03:58,660
Oh, yeah.
I hear you loud and clear.

1166
01:03:58,699 --> 01:04:00,291
You're sayin' ho's before bro's.

1167
01:04:00,334 --> 01:04:02,165
Well, that's not how I roll, asshole.

1168
01:04:02,202 --> 01:04:05,603
JB, it's KG. Do you read me?

1169
01:04:08,542 --> 01:04:10,442
What do you want, non-rocker?

1170
01:04:10,477 --> 01:04:12,536
This line is reserved for rockers only...

1171
01:04:12,579 --> 01:04:14,513
so I can't really talk
to you right now.

1172
01:04:14,548 --> 01:04:17,574
Sex, drugs, and then rock & roll.

1173
01:04:17,618 --> 01:04:19,586
In that order.
I was just followin' the code.

1174
01:04:19,620 --> 01:04:21,247
You're a fuckin' traitor.

1175
01:04:21,288 --> 01:04:23,051
You bailed on me,
and now I'm in the shit.

1176
01:04:23,090 --> 01:04:25,251
Where the fuck are you?

1177
01:04:27,394 --> 01:04:29,328
I'm in the air duct, dude.

1178
01:04:33,100 --> 01:04:38,561
- Dude. I totally missed you.
- Me too.

1179
01:04:51,919 --> 01:04:53,352
I just heard a noise.

1180
01:04:53,387 --> 01:04:55,912
I am trippin'.

1181
01:04:55,956 --> 01:04:57,890
Are you stoned?

1182
01:04:57,925 --> 01:04:59,790
Listen.

1183
01:05:01,862 --> 01:05:04,422
Uh, I just heard a noise.

1184
01:05:04,465 --> 01:05:06,194
- I'm gonna go check it out.
- Copy that.

1185
01:05:06,233 --> 01:05:07,894
Mm.

1186
01:05:28,856 --> 01:05:30,756
Uh--

1187
01:05:34,161 --> 01:05:36,459
Classic Rock is clear.

1188
01:05:36,497 --> 01:05:38,397
I'm gonna go check out Punk.

1189
01:05:38,432 --> 01:05:40,366
And if I find anybody in there...

1190
01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:43,198
I'm gonna pop a fuckin' cap
in their ass.

1191
01:05:43,237 --> 01:05:44,932
I'm gonna call it self-defense.

1192
01:05:44,972 --> 01:05:46,633
Hello?

1193
01:05:48,342 --> 01:05:49,502
I'm on my own.

1194
01:06:00,554 --> 01:06:02,715
Oh, God.

1195
01:06:05,559 --> 01:06:06,787
Dude, you heard that guy.

1196
01:06:06,827 --> 01:06:08,385
He's gonna shoot us. Let's bail.

1197
01:06:08,428 --> 01:06:10,328
No. We're too close.

1198
01:06:10,364 --> 01:06:11,661
That pick is in one of these rooms...

1199
01:06:11,698 --> 01:06:13,427
and we're not leavin' here
without it.

1200
01:06:13,467 --> 01:06:15,025
Dude, look at this place.

1201
01:06:15,068 --> 01:06:17,366
It's huge. We're never
gonna find this thing.

1202
01:06:17,404 --> 01:06:20,430
Follow me. We are the shadows.

1203
01:06:20,474 --> 01:06:23,034
They'll never find what cannot be seen.

1204
01:07:04,251 --> 01:07:06,719
Center.

1205
01:07:09,523 --> 01:07:10,888
Picks, picks.

1206
01:07:10,924 --> 01:07:13,290
Where do they keep their fuckin' picks?

1207
01:07:13,327 --> 01:07:14,885
It's gotta be in the Guitar Gods room.

1208
01:07:14,928 --> 01:07:16,418
- Where's that?
- It's right here.

1209
01:07:16,463 --> 01:07:19,193
At the top of Guitarway to Heaven.

1210
01:08:00,674 --> 01:08:02,039
There it is.

1211
01:08:06,113 --> 01:08:09,207
Fuck-a-luck-a-ding-dong.

1212
01:08:09,249 --> 01:08:10,876
- Let's go get it.
- No!

1213
01:08:12,886 --> 01:08:13,978
Lasers.

1214
01:08:14,021 --> 01:08:15,989
They'll slice you to pieces.

1215
01:08:16,023 --> 01:08:17,422
Sizzlelean.

1216
01:08:18,659 --> 01:08:21,127
You stay here and keep a lookout.

1217
01:08:21,161 --> 01:08:24,096
Wh--What are you gonna do?

1218
01:08:24,131 --> 01:08:26,599
I'm goin' in there and gettin' that pick.

1219
01:08:30,103 --> 01:08:31,764
# Danger #

1220
01:08:33,507 --> 01:08:35,566
# Laser #

1221
01:08:36,877 --> 01:08:38,538
# Tetris #

1222
01:08:39,980 --> 01:08:41,311
# lmpossible #

1223
01:08:41,348 --> 01:08:43,578
Be careful.

1224
01:08:43,617 --> 01:08:45,278
# Q-Bert #

1225
01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:48,451
# Frogger #

1226
01:08:49,022 --> 01:08:50,011
Uh! Uh!

1227
01:08:50,057 --> 01:08:52,753
# Dig Dug #

1228
01:08:52,793 --> 01:08:55,523
# Marble Madness #

1229
01:08:57,364 --> 01:08:58,695
# Centipede #

1230
01:08:58,732 --> 01:09:00,427
# Millipede #

1231
01:09:00,467 --> 01:09:01,798
# Tenacious #

1232
01:09:01,835 --> 01:09:02,961
You got it.

1233
01:09:04,137 --> 01:09:05,126
# lmpossible #

1234
01:09:06,039 --> 01:09:07,097
# lmpossible #

1235
01:09:09,543 --> 01:09:12,979
Can't...reach...pick.

1236
01:09:13,013 --> 01:09:15,277
Surrounded by lasers.

1237
01:09:15,315 --> 01:09:16,680
Focus, Jables.

1238
01:09:18,518 --> 01:09:21,043
Use all your mental powers.

1239
01:09:22,823 --> 01:09:25,155
Wait.
There's a button down here.

1240
01:09:26,827 --> 01:09:28,818
I think it might deactivate the lasers...

1241
01:09:29,730 --> 01:09:31,891
But I can't reach it.

1242
01:09:31,932 --> 01:09:33,365
The cock.

1243
01:09:34,668 --> 01:09:36,295
Use the cock.

1244
01:09:48,348 --> 01:09:50,509
Come on, helmet head.

1245
01:09:50,550 --> 01:09:51,744
Get it up.

1246
01:09:51,785 --> 01:09:53,343
# Cock #

1247
01:09:55,789 --> 01:09:57,814
Ooh.

1248
01:09:58,625 --> 01:10:01,458
# Cock, cock, cock #

1249
01:10:02,596 --> 01:10:04,393
# Cock, cock, cock #

1250
01:10:04,431 --> 01:10:06,228
Aaah! Mmm!

1251
01:10:06,266 --> 01:10:09,360
- # Cock, cock, cock, cock #
- Come to Papa.

1252
01:10:09,403 --> 01:10:11,735
- # Cock #
- Oh! Aaah!

1253
01:10:11,772 --> 01:10:13,433
Oh, yeah!

1254
01:10:25,585 --> 01:10:27,678
Let's finish this.

1255
01:10:33,293 --> 01:10:35,352
# Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey #

1256
01:10:35,395 --> 01:10:37,625
# Prekeh-goo-goo-boo
ba-dum-biddly-beep-beep #

1257
01:10:38,799 --> 01:10:40,926
Aaah!

1258
01:10:40,967 --> 01:10:42,264
Fuck.

1259
01:10:42,302 --> 01:10:43,462
I can't reach it.

1260
01:10:43,503 --> 01:10:45,403
- I can't reach it.
- Hold on!

1261
01:10:46,506 --> 01:10:48,201
Aaaaah!

1262
01:10:49,676 --> 01:10:51,439
That's it, that's it.

1263
01:10:51,478 --> 01:10:53,036
I got it! I got it! Aaah!

1264
01:10:53,079 --> 01:10:54,546
- Aaah! Aaah!
- Aaah!

1265
01:10:58,418 --> 01:11:02,149
Ah! Aaah! Oh! Aaah!

1266
01:11:03,857 --> 01:11:05,256
- Uh...
- Oh!

1267
01:11:05,292 --> 01:11:08,318
Ha ha ha ha!

1268
01:11:08,929 --> 01:11:09,987
Aaaaaah!

1269
01:11:12,766 --> 01:11:14,393
Haul ass!

1270
01:11:18,104 --> 01:11:20,072
Aaaaaah!

1271
01:11:20,841 --> 01:11:22,502
Aaaaaah!

1272
01:11:26,847 --> 01:11:28,838
Halt! Stop!

1273
01:11:34,287 --> 01:11:35,276
Aaah!

1274
01:11:40,193 --> 01:11:45,028
Power slide!

1275
01:11:47,501 --> 01:11:51,494
# Yeah! #

1276
01:12:01,982 --> 01:12:05,509
- Oh, damn!
- Ugh! Why?

1277
01:12:07,354 --> 01:12:09,015
- That was awesome.
- I know.

1278
01:12:09,055 --> 01:12:10,989
I've never fired a gun before,
it was unbelievable.

1279
01:12:11,024 --> 01:12:13,151
Aah! Oh, God! Oh!

1280
01:12:13,193 --> 01:12:14,854
Oh! Hold up!

1281
01:12:16,763 --> 01:12:18,492
- We got it!
- Fuck, yeah.

1282
01:12:18,532 --> 01:12:19,760
Let's get the fuck outta here.

1283
01:12:19,799 --> 01:12:23,326
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

1284
01:12:23,370 --> 01:12:25,338
Nice work, boys.

1285
01:12:25,372 --> 01:12:31,038
Now, toss that pick over here,
nice and slow.

1286
01:12:31,077 --> 01:12:34,513
Or I will cut you from hole to hole.

1287
01:12:34,548 --> 01:12:36,948
Then you might as well kill us, man...

1288
01:12:36,983 --> 01:12:38,473
'cause there is no way in hell...

1289
01:12:38,518 --> 01:12:39,917
we're givin' you this fuckin' pick.

1290
01:12:39,953 --> 01:12:41,978
OK.

1291
01:12:42,022 --> 01:12:44,252
So be it.

1292
01:12:44,291 --> 01:12:46,418
Come over here.

1293
01:12:46,459 --> 01:12:48,518
I'm going to fucking stab you.

1294
01:12:49,963 --> 01:12:52,523
What?

1295
01:12:52,566 --> 01:12:54,591
No. We're not comin' over there.

1296
01:12:54,634 --> 01:12:56,397
Fine.

1297
01:12:56,436 --> 01:12:58,904
Stay where you are, then.

1298
01:12:58,939 --> 01:13:00,668
I'm going to come over there.

1299
01:13:00,707 --> 01:13:05,610
I am going to slice out
your eyes and your balls.

1300
01:13:05,645 --> 01:13:09,547
And then I am going to stick
your eyes in your ballsacks...

1301
01:13:09,583 --> 01:13:11,107
and then I will take your balls...

1302
01:13:11,151 --> 01:13:13,676
and I will put them in your eyeholes!

1303
01:13:13,720 --> 01:13:15,347
Dude, we could totally outrun him.

1304
01:13:15,388 --> 01:13:16,946
Totally, let's bail.

1305
01:13:16,990 --> 01:13:19,925
N--No, wait! Co--Come back here!

1306
01:13:19,960 --> 01:13:21,052
Gaaah!

1307
01:13:21,094 --> 01:13:23,187
Come back with my pick!

1308
01:13:24,030 --> 01:13:25,463
It belongs to me!

1309
01:13:26,967 --> 01:13:28,400
Freeze!

1310
01:13:29,569 --> 01:13:32,697
Catch me if you can.

1311
01:13:35,275 --> 01:13:36,264
Aaah!

1312
01:13:38,878 --> 01:13:41,210
# Kings! #

1313
01:13:42,148 --> 01:13:46,141
Yeah! Yeah!

1314
01:13:47,520 --> 01:13:49,750
Whoo!

1315
01:13:49,789 --> 01:13:51,814
Fifty miles to Los Angeles.

1316
01:13:51,858 --> 01:13:52,847
- We did it!
- Yeah!

1317
01:13:52,892 --> 01:13:54,018
- Yeah!
- I know.

1318
01:13:54,060 --> 01:13:55,721
I'm surprised no one even chased us.

1319
01:13:55,762 --> 01:13:57,059
We got away scot-free.

1320
01:13:57,097 --> 01:13:59,622
- You fuckin' rule.
- No. You fuckin' rule.

1321
01:13:59,666 --> 01:14:02,726
Yeah, but I couldn't have done it
without your training.

1322
01:14:02,769 --> 01:14:04,862
Dude, let's see the pick.

1323
01:14:04,904 --> 01:14:06,633
- Oh, shit.
- Dude, you got it, right?

1324
01:14:06,673 --> 01:14:08,573
Yes! Ha ha ha!

1325
01:14:08,608 --> 01:14:10,269
- Look at how awesome it is!
- Ohhhh!

1326
01:14:10,310 --> 01:14:11,834
- Now we have the power.
- Yes!

1327
01:14:11,878 --> 01:14:14,312
We shall carry on its ancient legacy.

1328
01:14:14,347 --> 01:14:17,077
Dude, we are gonna smoke
the competition...

1329
01:14:17,117 --> 01:14:18,345
at the open mic night tonight.

1330
01:14:18,385 --> 01:14:20,319
- That money is ours!
- Mm. Totally.

1331
01:14:23,256 --> 01:14:25,986
Yeah, I got some, uh, fellas
with a broken taillight.

1332
01:14:27,360 --> 01:14:28,622
- Oh, fuck. It's the cops.
- Is it? Oh... Oo.

1333
01:14:28,662 --> 01:14:30,323
Pull over. Pull over. It's cool.

1334
01:14:30,363 --> 01:14:31,421
- OK.
- Pull over.

1335
01:14:32,332 --> 01:14:34,095
All right. Just play it cool.

1336
01:14:34,134 --> 01:14:36,159
M'kay? They got nothin' on us.

1337
01:14:36,202 --> 01:14:38,693
Let's just be mellow, OK?

1338
01:14:41,574 --> 01:14:43,007
What're you doing? No!

1339
01:14:43,043 --> 01:14:45,034
What the fuck are you doing?

1340
01:14:45,078 --> 01:14:46,739
This is Officer Mackenzie,
I need backup.

1341
01:14:46,780 --> 01:14:49,010
Assailants turning south
down Lexington Avenue.

1342
01:14:49,049 --> 01:14:50,038
I'm in pursuit.

1343
01:14:50,083 --> 01:14:52,449
Oh, God damn it, Kyle!

1344
01:14:52,485 --> 01:14:54,180
# Car chase city,
that's the name of the game #

1345
01:14:54,220 --> 01:14:55,209
- I want out!
-# It was all groovy #

1346
01:14:55,255 --> 01:14:56,483
# Now it's totally lame #

1347
01:14:56,523 --> 01:14:58,388
# KG really fuckin'
blew a synapse #

1348
01:14:58,425 --> 01:15:00,689
# Now we're fuckin' headed
for a total collapse #

1349
01:15:00,727 --> 01:15:02,354
# Car chase city,
run away from the fuzz #

1350
01:15:02,395 --> 01:15:04,556
# Thought that we wasn't
but we totally was #

1351
01:15:04,597 --> 01:15:06,292
# Car chase city,
now we're off-a the map #

1352
01:15:06,332 --> 01:15:07,959
# Car chase city,
now we're takin' a crap #

1353
01:15:08,001 --> 01:15:09,434
- # Now it's gettin' hairy #
- Oh, fuck!

1354
01:15:09,469 --> 01:15:10,629
- # So we're changin' the key #
- God damn it!

1355
01:15:10,670 --> 01:15:12,160
# Never underestimate
the power of D #

1356
01:15:12,205 --> 01:15:14,230
# KG fuckin' put his foot on the gas #

1357
01:15:14,274 --> 01:15:16,299
# If I go to prison,
hide the pick in my ass #

1358
01:15:16,342 --> 01:15:18,139
# Fuck this shit, it's gone too far #

1359
01:15:18,178 --> 01:15:20,339
# Kage, pull over,
let me out of the car #

1360
01:15:20,380 --> 01:15:22,507
The car is severely damaged.

1361
01:15:22,549 --> 01:15:25,347
The perpetrators appear to be
two heavyset males...

1362
01:15:25,385 --> 01:15:27,512
driving a blue Cutlass Supreme.

1363
01:15:27,554 --> 01:15:29,078
# Car chase city,
now we're takin' the lane #

1364
01:15:29,122 --> 01:15:31,056
# KG blew it now we're goin' insane #

1365
01:15:31,091 --> 01:15:34,492
# Let's rock, let's roll,
let me try to fill up your-- #

1366
01:15:34,527 --> 01:15:37,428
Let's go now to Mark in Skycop--

1367
01:15:39,232 --> 01:15:40,563
God damn it!

1368
01:15:42,368 --> 01:15:45,201
- Yeah?
- Hey, you guys!

1369
01:15:45,238 --> 01:15:46,830
- Fuck!
- It's Lee.

1370
01:15:46,873 --> 01:15:49,569
I'm just checkin' in.
Is everything OK?

1371
01:15:49,609 --> 01:15:51,668
Yeah, we're cool. We're super cool.

1372
01:15:51,711 --> 01:15:53,042
Ah! Ahh!

1373
01:15:53,079 --> 01:15:55,047
Um, where are you guys?

1374
01:15:55,081 --> 01:15:56,480
We're, uh, we're at the drive-in.

1375
01:15:56,516 --> 01:15:57,642
We're watchin this bitchin' movie.

1376
01:15:57,684 --> 01:15:59,515
<i>It's, uh, Cop Chase 3.
Have you seen it?</i>

1377
01:15:59,552 --> 01:16:04,580
Aaaaaah!

1378
01:16:04,624 --> 01:16:07,184
Uh, no. I haven't seen that one.

1379
01:16:07,227 --> 01:16:09,195
Whoa!

1380
01:16:09,229 --> 01:16:10,526
Sounds scary, though.

1381
01:16:10,563 --> 01:16:12,588
Yeah. Uh, it's really fucking scary.

1382
01:16:12,632 --> 01:16:14,691
I'm shaking right now, I'm so scared.

1383
01:16:14,734 --> 01:16:17,100
Cool. Well, how was that, uh...

1384
01:16:17,137 --> 01:16:19,162
big power meeting you guys had?

1385
01:16:19,205 --> 01:16:20,900
Awesome. I'll tell you about it later.

1386
01:16:20,940 --> 01:16:22,703
You're makin' us miss the movie.

1387
01:16:25,345 --> 01:16:27,210
I think I lost em!

1388
01:16:31,284 --> 01:16:32,876
Gaah!

1389
01:16:32,919 --> 01:16:35,820
# Gas! Brakes! #

1390
01:16:37,357 --> 01:16:39,154
# Spinnin' donuts,
spinnin' donuts, go! #

1391
01:16:39,192 --> 01:16:40,716
I can do this.

1392
01:16:40,760 --> 01:16:41,749
# Flip flip! #

1393
01:16:42,829 --> 01:16:44,990
- # Gas #
- Nooo!

1394
01:16:45,031 --> 01:16:47,329
- # Nitro! #
- Go!

1395
01:16:47,367 --> 01:16:50,302
# Aaaaah! #

1396
01:17:05,819 --> 01:17:07,912
We're gonna need
paramedics and fire trucks.

1397
01:17:07,954 --> 01:17:09,945
These guys are toast.

1398
01:17:16,462 --> 01:17:18,623
Let's get the fuck outta here.

1399
01:17:18,665 --> 01:17:20,530
Let's go.

1400
01:17:20,567 --> 01:17:23,035
Uh, which way, which way?

1401
01:17:23,069 --> 01:17:24,161
OK, where?

1402
01:17:24,204 --> 01:17:26,035
That way! That way!

1403
01:17:28,208 --> 01:17:30,369
This is it, I think.

1404
01:17:30,410 --> 01:17:33,072
Uh! Oooh! Uh!

1405
01:17:33,112 --> 01:17:35,342
- Lemme sneak a peek.
- OK.

1406
01:17:38,618 --> 01:17:41,212
Uh! Huh.

1407
01:17:41,254 --> 01:17:42,915
- This is it.
- Oh.

1408
01:17:46,192 --> 01:17:47,682
C'mon.

1409
01:17:47,727 --> 01:17:49,024
Oh, fuck.

1410
01:17:49,062 --> 01:17:51,053
- Let's do this.
- OK.

1411
01:17:52,232 --> 01:17:54,359
Hey. Hey.

1412
01:17:54,400 --> 01:17:55,697
Hey, guys, you're runnin' a little late.

1413
01:17:55,735 --> 01:17:57,566
There's one spot left.
You got any new material?

1414
01:17:57,604 --> 01:18:00,300
What we got's gonna turn
your brain into shit.

1415
01:18:00,340 --> 01:18:04,037
Dust off the stage,
open mic host. Step aside.

1416
01:18:05,111 --> 01:18:06,601
OK, big shots.

1417
01:18:06,646 --> 01:18:08,045
You're up whenever you're ready.

1418
01:18:08,081 --> 01:18:10,515
Let's blister this asshole.

1419
01:18:10,550 --> 01:18:12,711
Jack, wait! You got the pick?

1420
01:18:12,752 --> 01:18:14,083
Yeah. Got it right here.
Let's go.

1421
01:18:14,120 --> 01:18:17,021
Maybe I should use it tonight
and you use it next time.

1422
01:18:17,056 --> 01:18:18,751
I should use it tonight.
I'm the lead singer.

1423
01:18:18,791 --> 01:18:21,692
Huh! It's a guitar pick.
I'm lead guitar.

1424
01:18:21,728 --> 01:18:23,320
OK, dude, don't freak out on me.

1425
01:18:23,363 --> 01:18:25,228
Let's just work this out rationally, OK?

1426
01:18:25,265 --> 01:18:26,459
We'll take turns with it.

1427
01:18:26,499 --> 01:18:27,898
I'll use it now, you'll use it later.

1428
01:18:27,934 --> 01:18:30,562
I'm not freakin' out,
you're freakin' out.

1429
01:18:30,603 --> 01:18:33,333
Now, just let me hold it
for one second!

1430
01:18:33,373 --> 01:18:36,240
You're never gonna use
this fuckin' pick.

1431
01:18:37,443 --> 01:18:38,432
Aaah!

1432
01:18:38,478 --> 01:18:39,604
Aaaah!

1433
01:18:39,646 --> 01:18:41,637
- No!
- No!

1434
01:18:41,681 --> 01:18:43,512
You guys, the crowd's
gettin' restless in there.

1435
01:18:43,549 --> 01:18:44,538
- No!
- Hey, wh-what's--

1436
01:18:44,584 --> 01:18:46,381
What's goin' on?

1437
01:18:46,419 --> 01:18:48,046
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
what's wrong?

1438
01:18:48,087 --> 01:18:50,055
We can't go on.

1439
01:18:50,089 --> 01:18:52,421
We had the demon's pick...

1440
01:18:52,458 --> 01:18:53,584
but then we broke it...

1441
01:18:53,626 --> 01:18:56,561
and now our masterpiece
will never happen.

1442
01:18:56,596 --> 01:19:00,032
We can't pay the rent because
we won't be fueled by Satan.

1443
01:19:00,066 --> 01:19:02,364
Come on, get up, get up.

1444
01:19:02,402 --> 01:19:05,894
Come on, come on. Stand up.
You're all right.

1445
01:19:05,939 --> 01:19:09,807
You guys, having
some satanic guitar pick...

1446
01:19:09,842 --> 01:19:12,072
isn't gonna make
your rock any better...

1447
01:19:12,111 --> 01:19:14,739
because Satan's not
in a guitar pick...

1448
01:19:14,781 --> 01:19:16,373
he's inside all of us.

1449
01:19:16,416 --> 01:19:18,179
He's in here.

1450
01:19:18,217 --> 01:19:19,878
In your hearts.

1451
01:19:19,919 --> 01:19:22,752
He's what makes us
not want to go to work...

1452
01:19:22,789 --> 01:19:26,316
exercise, or tell the truth.

1453
01:19:26,359 --> 01:19:27,951
He's what makes us want to party...

1454
01:19:27,994 --> 01:19:30,462
and have sex with each other
all night long.

1455
01:19:31,531 --> 01:19:34,193
He's that little voice in your mind...

1456
01:19:34,233 --> 01:19:37,725
that says, "Fuck you"
to the people you hate.

1457
01:19:37,770 --> 01:19:40,637
Now, you can stay out here
and fight on the ground...

1458
01:19:40,673 --> 01:19:43,198
and cry like babies.

1459
01:19:43,242 --> 01:19:48,407
Or you can go in there
like friends and rock.

1460
01:19:49,949 --> 01:19:52,247
So, what's it gonna be?

1461
01:19:54,053 --> 01:19:57,614
Let's go in there and show 'em
what Tenacious D is all about.

1462
01:19:57,657 --> 01:19:58,988
Yeah.

1463
01:19:59,025 --> 01:20:02,324
I already got a guitar pick anyways.

1464
01:20:05,965 --> 01:20:07,626
C'mon.

1465
01:20:42,435 --> 01:20:44,630
Dude, we can still use the pick.

1466
01:20:44,670 --> 01:20:46,467
You use one half, I'll use the other.

1467
01:20:46,506 --> 01:20:47,768
There's still some juice
in there, probably.

1468
01:20:47,807 --> 01:20:48,796
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1469
01:20:48,841 --> 01:20:50,399
Where is that...?

1470
01:20:50,443 --> 01:20:51,637
Aaaah!

1471
01:21:00,853 --> 01:21:04,380
# I am complete #

1472
01:21:04,424 --> 01:21:08,155
# Fu-uck #

1473
01:21:08,194 --> 01:21:10,025
# Yes, you are fucked #

1474
01:21:10,063 --> 01:21:11,724
# Shit out of luck #

1475
01:21:11,764 --> 01:21:14,892
# Now I'm complete
and my cock you will suck #

1476
01:21:14,934 --> 01:21:16,993
# This world will be mine #

1477
01:21:17,036 --> 01:21:18,833
# And you're first in line #

1478
01:21:18,871 --> 01:21:22,739
# You brought me the pick
and now you shall both die #

1479
01:21:22,775 --> 01:21:29,874
# Wait, wait, wait,
you motherfucker #

1480
01:21:30,450 --> 01:21:35,786
# We challenge you
to a rock-off #

1481
01:21:37,924 --> 01:21:42,793
# Give us one chance
to rock your socks off #

1482
01:21:44,630 --> 01:21:50,068
# Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! #

1483
01:21:50,103 --> 01:21:53,504
# The demon code prevents me #

1484
01:21:53,539 --> 01:21:57,498
# From declining
a rock-off challenge #

1485
01:21:57,543 --> 01:22:00,444
# What are your terms? #

1486
01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:04,109
# What's the ca-a-atch? #

1487
01:22:05,651 --> 01:22:13,490
# If we win you must take
your sorry ass back to hell #

1488
01:22:14,660 --> 01:22:22,226
# And also you will have
to pay our rent #

1489
01:22:24,737 --> 01:22:27,262
# And what if I win? #

1490
01:22:29,242 --> 01:22:34,339
# Then you can take
Kage back to Hell #

1491
01:22:34,380 --> 01:22:35,404
What?

1492
01:22:35,448 --> 01:22:36,972
Trust me, Kage.

1493
01:22:37,016 --> 01:22:38,415
It's the only way.

1494
01:22:38,451 --> 01:22:39,816
What are you talking about?

1495
01:22:39,852 --> 01:22:43,583
# To be your little bitch #

1496
01:22:43,623 --> 01:22:45,215
Fine!

1497
01:22:45,258 --> 01:22:48,455
# Let the rock-off begin! #

1498
01:22:48,494 --> 01:22:51,429
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

1499
01:22:55,668 --> 01:22:59,502
# I'm the Devil, I love metal #

1500
01:23:02,742 --> 01:23:06,769
# Check this riff,
it's fucking tasty #

1501
01:23:10,583 --> 01:23:14,178
# I'm the Devil,
I can do what I want #

1502
01:23:14,220 --> 01:23:17,348
# Whatever I've got,
I'm gonna flaunt #

1503
01:23:17,390 --> 01:23:22,521
# There's never been
a rock-off that I've ever lost #

1504
01:23:25,164 --> 01:23:28,565
# I can't wait to take
Kage back to hell #

1505
01:23:28,601 --> 01:23:32,560
# I'm gonna fill him
with my hot demon's gel #

1506
01:23:32,605 --> 01:23:36,234
# I'll make you squeal
like the Scarlet Pimpernel #

1507
01:23:39,478 --> 01:23:41,912
# No! #

1508
01:23:43,916 --> 01:23:45,042
Come on, Kage!

1509
01:23:45,084 --> 01:23:49,180
Let's fight his music with our music.

1510
01:23:49,222 --> 01:23:52,055
# There's just no way
that we can win #

1511
01:23:52,091 --> 01:23:54,719
- # That was a masterpiece #
- Listen to me.

1512
01:23:54,760 --> 01:23:58,924
# He rocks too hard
because he's not a mortal man #

1513
01:23:58,965 --> 01:24:00,023
Goddamnit, Kage.

1514
01:24:00,066 --> 01:24:03,160
# He gonna make you
his sex slave #

1515
01:24:03,202 --> 01:24:05,261
# You gonna gargle mayonnaise #

1516
01:24:05,304 --> 01:24:06,862
- No.
-# Unless we bust #

1517
01:24:06,906 --> 01:24:09,898
# A massive monster mamojam #

1518
01:24:09,942 --> 01:24:13,901
# Dude, we've been
through so much shit #

1519
01:24:13,946 --> 01:24:16,540
# Deactivated lasers
with my dick #

1520
01:24:16,582 --> 01:24:22,282
# Now it's time
to blow this fucker down #

1521
01:24:22,321 --> 01:24:25,586
# Come on, Kage, now
it's time to blow doors down #

1522
01:24:25,625 --> 01:24:28,788
# I hear ya, Jables, now
it's time to blow doors down #

1523
01:24:28,828 --> 01:24:31,763
# Light up the stage 'cause
it's time for a showdown #

1524
01:24:31,797 --> 01:24:34,527
# We'll bend you over then we'll
take ya to brown town #

1525
01:24:34,567 --> 01:24:38,298
# Now we've got
to blow this fucker down #

1526
01:24:38,337 --> 01:24:41,135
# He's gonna rape me
if we do not blow doors down #

1527
01:24:41,173 --> 01:24:43,573
# C'mon, Kage 'cause it's time
to blow doors down #

1528
01:24:43,609 --> 01:24:46,578
# Ooooh we'll pile-drive ya,
it's time for the smack down #

1529
01:24:46,612 --> 01:24:49,581
# Hey, Antichrist-a, Beelzeboss #

1530
01:24:49,615 --> 01:24:51,105
# We know your weakness #

1531
01:24:51,150 --> 01:24:52,742
# Our rock it sauce #

1532
01:24:52,785 --> 01:24:55,879
# We rock the Casbah,
and blow your mind #

1533
01:24:55,921 --> 01:24:59,084
# We will defeat you
for all mankind #

1534
01:24:59,125 --> 01:25:02,117
# You hold the scepter,
we hold the key #

1535
01:25:02,161 --> 01:25:05,289
# You are the Devil,
we are the D #

1536
01:25:05,331 --> 01:25:07,424
# We are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #

1537
01:25:07,466 --> 01:25:10,492
# We are the D, we are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #

1538
01:25:10,536 --> 01:25:12,970
# We are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #

1539
01:25:13,005 --> 01:25:16,065
# We are the D, we are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #

1540
01:25:16,108 --> 01:25:19,009
# We are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #

1541
01:25:21,314 --> 01:25:22,747
You guys are fuckin' lame!

1542
01:25:22,782 --> 01:25:24,682
C'mon, Kage,
you're comin' with me.

1543
01:25:26,185 --> 01:25:28,653
Taste my lightning, fucker.

1544
01:25:28,688 --> 01:25:30,815
Nooo!

1545
01:25:30,856 --> 01:25:32,153
Ow!

1546
01:25:32,191 --> 01:25:34,785
Fuck! My fuckin' horn!

1547
01:25:35,861 --> 01:25:37,795
- Oh, no!
- From whence you came...

1548
01:25:37,830 --> 01:25:42,028
you shall remain,
until you are complete again!

1549
01:25:42,735 --> 01:25:46,432
Nooo!

1550
01:25:54,814 --> 01:25:57,044
Fuck you, Kage!

1551
01:25:57,083 --> 01:26:00,177
And fuck you, Jables.

1552
01:26:00,219 --> 01:26:04,212
I'll get you, Tenacious D!

1553
01:26:24,744 --> 01:26:28,111
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

1554
01:26:28,147 --> 01:26:29,478
We did it, dude.

1555
01:26:30,282 --> 01:26:32,273
We beat the Devil.

1556
01:26:32,318 --> 01:26:33,979
With our rock.

1557
01:26:34,019 --> 01:26:36,715
Ha ha ha! So good.

1558
01:26:36,756 --> 01:26:40,157
Aaah, man, that was
a monster jam that we played.

1559
01:26:40,192 --> 01:26:41,523
Yeah. Yeah.

1560
01:26:41,560 --> 01:26:44,654
It was, like,
the greatest song in the world.

1561
01:26:44,697 --> 01:26:45,755
It was, wasn't it?

1562
01:26:45,798 --> 01:26:48,699
- How did it go?
- Um....

1563
01:26:51,337 --> 01:26:53,532
- I can't remember.
- Fuck. I can't either.

1564
01:26:53,572 --> 01:26:56,837
You know what? Let's just
lay down a fresh, tasty jam.

1565
01:26:56,876 --> 01:26:59,208
Good idea, rage Kage.

1566
01:26:59,245 --> 01:27:02,180
- Bust out the BOD.
- What?

1567
01:27:02,214 --> 01:27:03,704
The Bong of Destiny.

1568
01:27:03,749 --> 01:27:05,876
Good call.

1569
01:27:05,918 --> 01:27:07,579
Whoa.

1570
01:27:10,956 --> 01:27:12,719
Take it to the head, bitch.

1571
01:27:14,760 --> 01:27:16,250
Draws like a pencil.

1572
01:27:18,130 --> 01:27:20,189
Press record.

1573
01:27:21,634 --> 01:27:23,465
Ooooh!

1574
01:27:23,502 --> 01:27:26,232
- Ha ha ha!
- Yeah!

1575
01:27:26,272 --> 01:27:28,934
Now let's rock it.

1576
01:27:28,974 --> 01:27:30,373
One, two, three.

1577
01:27:30,409 --> 01:27:34,505
# 'Cause it's
the Pick of Destiny, child #

1578
01:27:34,547 --> 01:27:37,846
# You know we will be rockin'
'cause it's fuckin' insane #

1579
01:27:37,883 --> 01:27:41,944
# It's just the Pick of Destiny, child #

1580
01:27:41,987 --> 01:27:45,889
# More precious than
a diamond on a platinum chain #

1581
01:27:45,925 --> 01:27:49,725
# In Venice Beach
there was a man named Kage #

1582
01:27:49,762 --> 01:27:53,391
# When he was buskin'
he was all the rage #

1583
01:27:53,432 --> 01:27:57,095
# He met Jables
and he taught him well #

1584
01:27:57,136 --> 01:28:00,936
# All the techniques
that were developed in Hell #

1585
01:28:00,973 --> 01:28:04,409
# Cock push-ups
and the power slide #

1586
01:28:04,443 --> 01:28:08,174
# Gig simulation,
now there's nowhere to hide #

1587
01:28:08,214 --> 01:28:11,809
# They formed a band
they named Tenacious D #

1588
01:28:11,851 --> 01:28:14,649
# And then they got
the Pick of Destiny #

1589
01:28:14,687 --> 01:28:18,646
# 'Cause it's the Pick of Destiny, child #

1590
01:28:18,691 --> 01:28:22,024
# You know we will be rockin'
'cause it's fuckin' insane #

1591
01:28:22,061 --> 01:28:26,293
# It's just the Pick of Destiny, child #

1592
01:28:26,332 --> 01:28:29,790
# Our tasty grooves are better
than a chicken chow mein #

1593
01:28:29,835 --> 01:28:33,601
# 'Cause he who is sleazy
is easy to pleasey #

1594
01:28:33,639 --> 01:28:37,166
# And she who is juicy
must be loosey-goosey #

1595
01:28:37,209 --> 01:28:42,044
# And he who is groovy will
be in my movie so come on! #

1596
01:28:44,717 --> 01:28:48,414
# The wizard and the demon
had a battle royale #

1597
01:28:48,454 --> 01:28:52,117
# The demon almost killed him
with an evil kapow #

1598
01:28:52,157 --> 01:28:55,251
# But then it broke his tooth
and thus the demon said, "Ow!" #

1599
01:28:55,294 --> 01:28:59,492
# 'Cause it's the Pick of Destiny, child #

1600
01:28:59,532 --> 01:29:02,695
# You know we will be rockin'
'cause it's fuckin' insane #

1601
01:29:02,735 --> 01:29:06,865
# It's just the Pick of Destiny, child #

1602
01:29:06,906 --> 01:29:10,433
<i># You know our movie's
better than-a Citizen Kane #</i>

1603
01:29:10,476 --> 01:29:14,105
# 'Cause he who's a geezer
must live in my freezer #

1604
01:29:14,146 --> 01:29:17,980
# And she who is snarky
is full of malarkey #

1605
01:29:18,017 --> 01:29:23,819
# And he who is groovy must
be in my movie so come on! #

1606
01:29:35,601 --> 01:29:40,197
# Oh, 'cause if you're a diva
then go to Geneva #

1607
01:29:40,239 --> 01:29:43,902
# And if you're a crony
then suck on my boney #

1608
01:29:43,943 --> 01:29:47,106
# And if you are groovy
then get in my movie #

1609
01:29:47,146 --> 01:29:51,207
# It's called the Pick of Destiny #

1610
01:29:51,250 --> 01:29:55,554
# The Pick of Destiny #

1611
01:29:55,554 --> 01:29:55,952
# The Pick of Destiny #

1612
01:30:04,830 --> 01:30:06,695
# You can't kill the metal #

1613
01:30:09,234 --> 01:30:10,792
# The metal will live on #

1614
01:30:13,038 --> 01:30:15,506
# Punk rock tried to kill the metal #

1615
01:30:17,242 --> 01:30:20,769
# But they failed as they
were smite to the ground #

1616
01:30:22,681 --> 01:30:25,548
# New wave tried to kill the metal #

1617
01:30:25,584 --> 01:30:29,953
# But they failed as they were
stricken down to the ground #

1618
01:30:31,223 --> 01:30:34,124
# Grunge tried to kill the metal #

1619
01:30:34,159 --> 01:30:35,820
Ah ha ha ha!

1620
01:30:35,861 --> 01:30:39,558
# They failed as they were
thrown to the ground #

1621
01:30:42,534 --> 01:30:46,903
# Aaaah! #

1622
01:30:46,939 --> 01:30:48,770
# Yeah! #

1623
01:30:51,076 --> 01:30:55,308
# Aaaah! #

1624
01:30:55,347 --> 01:30:57,679
# Yeah! #

1625
01:30:57,716 --> 01:30:59,775
# Diddle-iddle-iddle,
diddle-iddle-iddle, iddle-ay #

1626
01:30:59,818 --> 01:31:03,777
# No one can destroy the metal #

1627
01:31:03,822 --> 01:31:08,225
# The metal will strike you down
with a vicious blow #

1628
01:31:08,260 --> 01:31:12,424
# We are the vanquished foes of the metal #

1629
01:31:12,464 --> 01:31:16,992
# We tried to win,
for why we do not know #

1630
01:31:17,036 --> 01:31:20,528
# New wave
tried to destroy the metal #

1631
01:31:20,572 --> 01:31:25,566
# But the metal had its way #

1632
01:31:25,611 --> 01:31:29,513
# Grunge then tried to dethrone the metal #

1633
01:31:29,548 --> 01:31:34,178
# But metal was in the way #

1634
01:31:34,219 --> 01:31:38,155
# Punk rock tried to destroy the metal #

1635
01:31:38,190 --> 01:31:42,559
# But metal was much too strong #

1636
01:31:42,594 --> 01:31:46,690
# Techno tried to defile the metal #

1637
01:31:46,732 --> 01:31:52,466
# But techno was proven wrong, yeah! #

1638
01:31:54,907 --> 01:31:56,568
# Metal! #

1639
01:31:58,644 --> 01:32:00,771
# It comes from Hell! #

1640
01:33:00,739 --> 01:33:02,604
All right, man.

1641
01:33:02,641 --> 01:33:04,233
This is it.

1642
01:33:04,276 --> 01:33:08,144
Don't make a sound
unless it's a masterpiece.

1643
01:33:08,180 --> 01:33:10,410
Not a fuckin' sound.

1644
01:33:12,351 --> 01:33:13,909
Wait.

1645
01:33:13,952 --> 01:33:15,749
How will I know if it's a masterpiece?

1646
01:33:17,156 --> 01:33:18,418
You'll feel it.

1647
01:33:18,457 --> 01:33:20,755
And if you feel it,
just fuckin' lay it on me.

1648
01:33:37,376 --> 01:33:39,276
Aaah!

1649
01:33:39,311 --> 01:33:40,300
OK.

1650
01:33:54,026 --> 01:33:55,357
Thought I felt somethin'.

1651
01:33:57,863 --> 01:33:59,660
Let's hear that back.