1 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,996 IAN: Shall we? MAURICE: We shall. 2 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:27,004 Oh, my God. Now what have I got today? 3 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,007 Oh. Mmm. 4 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:34,011 You should try these. You'll never wake up. 5 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:36,013 It's the waking up pills I'm looking for. 6 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:39,016 Anything blue, I recommend for that. 7 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,019 White ones give me more of a thrill. 8 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,021 Mmm. 9 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,981 - Cheers. - There we are. 10 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:49,985 "Do not operate heavy machinery. 11 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:52,988 "Keep away from children." 12 00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:53,989 Biblical advice. 13 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:55,991 WOMAN: There you go, gentlemen. 14 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,993 - IAN: Thank you. - Excellent, my dear. 15 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:02,998 - Have you got my glasses? - No, you've got them. 16 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:07,002 Why would I have them? I'm not wearing them, am I? 17 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:09,004 Christ, I've lost them now! 18 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,006 That's the worst thing that's ever happened... 19 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:14,009 They're in your right hand. 20 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,011 Oh, yeah. 21 00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:19,014 You wouldn't last five minutes without me. 22 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,015 I'm getting help. 23 00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:23,018 - Professional? - My niece's girl. 24 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,981 MAURICE: Have you worked out what the girl will actually do? 25 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,984 She'll shop and cook for me. 26 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,987 - A sort of nurse, then? - No uniform. 27 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,990 Don't give yourself a coronary. 28 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:43,997 At the hospital they said if I'm clear in five years, l'm safe. 29 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:49,002 I said, "By then I'll be drinking with Jesus." 30 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,005 He's looking forward to meeting you. He loved your Polonius. 31 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:55,008 But he found your Caesar a little weak. 32 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,010 IAN: Weak? MAURICE: A little... 33 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,011 - what? ...fruity. 34 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:02,015 IAN: No, he fucking didn't. Did he? Fruity? 35 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:06,019 What the fuck? Fruity! Fucking fruit. 36 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,981 MAURICE: I'm parched. How about a drink? 37 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:12,985 This isn't a pub. I've got to get her room ready. 38 00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:14,987 Can I help? 39 00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,989 God, no. 40 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:19,992 No, don't flap it about like that, Maurice. 41 00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,995 I'm getting wind rash. 42 00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:28,000 - I'll tuck it in, you'll tire yourself. - She'll suffocate in there. 43 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,003 There's no reason for her to move around unnecessarily at night. 44 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:35,007 - Not unless she needs to attend to me. - In what way? 45 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:39,011 I've bought a little bell to put beside my bed. 46 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,012 (BELL TINKLING) 47 00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:44,016 If I feel unwell, I can tinkle it. See? 48 00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:49,021 I bet she can't wait to hear that little tinkle. 49 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:51,982 I've bought her a pink towel, too. 50 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,985 So there's no confusion in the bathroom. 51 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,987 No, you wouldn't want that. 52 00:03:58,989 --> 00:03:59,990 No. 53 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:04,995 And in case she wants something to read, I got her these. 54 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,998 MAURICE: Fucking Edith wharton. 55 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:11,001 IAN: L really want to educate the girl, Maurice. 56 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,003 Pass something on. 57 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,004 Yes, dear. 58 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:18,008 She loves music. 59 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:22,012 While we're eating, I thought we could listen to the St. Matthew Passion. 60 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,013 Lovely. 61 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:27,017 No doubt it'll be tomato soup and a temazepam for you. 62 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,019 No doubt. 63 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,979 Shall I get her to run a nice bath 64 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,982 and put my dressing-gown on the radiator? 65 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,987 I hope she can do a rocket salad. 66 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,990 Or something interesting with fish. 67 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:53,001 DOCTOR: Going anywhere nice for the holidays? 68 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,004 (MAURICE MUMBLING) 69 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:59,007 - Where? - Piranha fish. 70 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,008 Fantastic. 71 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:04,012 Right, Maurice, deep breath for me now. 72 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,013 And, there we go. 73 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:07,015 (GROANING) 74 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:12,020 Easy but not necessarily nice. Uncomfortable? That's quite normal. 75 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,981 Feel the same myself. 76 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,985 Everything all right otherwise? Life treating you well? 77 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,988 - Jesus Christ. - Good. 78 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:26,994 The prostate should feel like a peach with a groove down the center. 79 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:28,996 Yours is a little bumpy. 80 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:31,999 There might be a small nodule in there, but it could easily be nothing. 81 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,001 So we need to send you to a specialist. 82 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:38,005 A lot of older men have this problem. It rarely kills them. 83 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,008 They die of something else first. 84 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,010 Right. 85 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:46,013 So you should worry a little but not a lot. 86 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,015 Now then... 87 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:51,018 wOMAN 1: Not after last year. I made that quite clear. 88 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,020 WOMAN 2: Good on you. 89 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,981 WOMAN 1: In the end, there was such a stream of... You know. 90 00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,984 - Really? - Yeah. Coming and going, and all that. 91 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,986 I felt like standing outside and shouting, 92 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:01,987 "Another warm body for my friend." 93 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,989 - You should have done. - Yeah, I know. Excuse me. 94 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,992 That's fine. All done. Can you put your finger on that, please? 95 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:07,993 WOMAN 1: Hello. How are we today? 96 00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:22,007 Come on, old man! 97 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:28,013 (HUMMING) 98 00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:57,000 IAN: Thank Christ you're here. MAURICE: What's up? 99 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:03,006 Horrible, horrible, foul and vile beyond belief. 100 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,008 What an upset. 101 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:10,013 Was the bath too cold or the towel too hot? 102 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:15,018 - Was the fish overcooked? - Fish? Fish? Fish? 103 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,980 I'd have been lucky to get a fish finger 104 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:21,984 inserted into my rectum. 105 00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:23,986 - Good God! - God, Maurice. 106 00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:24,987 What's gone wrong? 107 00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:30,993 It's hardly been 24 hours, already I'm screaming for euthanasia. 108 00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:48,010 - Shouldn't you be getting ready? - For what? 109 00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:50,012 The theater. 110 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:53,015 Oh, God, yes. 111 00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:56,018 Yes. Let's leave immediately. 112 00:07:58,020 --> 00:07:59,980 I'll just change. 113 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,987 Let's hope it's a long play. 114 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,992 You've never said that before. 115 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,985 I'm Maurice. 116 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:50,989 Maurice. 117 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:53,992 You? 118 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:57,996 Can I? 119 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:05,003 You will find I usually call around this time, for a little drinkie. 120 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:10,008 I like whiskey with a whisker of water. 121 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:14,012 No more than a whisker, mind you. That ruins it. 122 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,015 It's called "drowning." 123 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:22,020 Drowning. 124 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:24,982 Do you know how to mix drinks? 125 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,986 Once acquired, it's a talent that will serve you for life. 126 00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:31,989 Like typing. 127 00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:40,998 (MAN CHATTERING ON TV) 128 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:46,003 So, what are you doing? 129 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:51,008 - In London, I mean. - Looking for work. 130 00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:54,011 - What sort of work? - Work. 131 00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:58,015 - You know, work. - Yes, yes, I know all about it. 132 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:02,019 Any particular kind? 133 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,980 - Modeling. - There can't be much call for that. 134 00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,983 - Call for what? - Yodeling. 135 00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:12,988 Not yodeling! Yodeling? Modeling! You know. 136 00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,995 You know anyone in the modeling field? 137 00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:21,997 Yes. I know everyone. 138 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:28,003 Do you have a fallback position? 139 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,005 No. 140 00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:34,009 - No, I don't need one. - Right. 141 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:37,012 - Are you saying I do? - No. I wouldn't say that. 142 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,016 - No. - No? Good. 143 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:52,986 I'm thirsty now. Can I have a beer? I told him to get me some in. 144 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,989 - What did he say? - He said it were a slippery slope. 145 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,997 Oh! 146 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,010 (CLEARS THROAT) 147 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,014 MAURICE: Lan? 148 00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,983 MAURICE: It won't be as good as Celebrity Love Island, 149 00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:32,985 but it will be live. 150 00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,988 - Live? - You might enjoy it. 151 00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:50,002 - Can't we go and see Lion King? - What a good idea. 152 00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:55,007 WOMAN 1: Come on, you minger! WOMAN 2: What a mess you've made. 153 00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:57,009 Oh, God! 154 00:11:58,010 --> 00:11:59,011 No! 155 00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:02,014 No, no! 156 00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:05,017 Stupid cunt. You're in the biggest trouble of your life. 157 00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:07,019 Come on. 158 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:10,981 Don't make me stand here on my own, you cunts! 159 00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:12,983 I can't stand it. 160 00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:18,989 - WOMAN 1: Come with us. - Now I've got no one. 161 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:20,991 WOMAN 2: Get a minder. 162 00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:23,994 I so loved you in the Dickens the other night. 163 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:24,995 You noticed me? 164 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:30,000 Don't be silly, of course I did. You were very funny and clever. 165 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,001 Thank you. 166 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,004 - Jillian? - Yeah, Jillian. 167 00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:42,012 - You're famous? - A little bit. 168 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,015 - What's your name again? - Maurice. 169 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,018 Maurice Russell. 170 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:50,020 Oh, right. 171 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:50,979 (BELL RINGING) 172 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,983 Isn't it the end? 173 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,986 It's never the end when you go to the theater, I'm afraid. 174 00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,989 - Come on. - Are you taking me somewhere? 175 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,992 - Yeah. - How wonderful. 176 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:07,996 (R&B MUSIC PLAYING) 177 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:12,000 JESSIE: I'll have a Bacardi Breezer. MAURICE: Me, too. 178 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,003 MAURICE: What is it? JESSIE: It's red. 179 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,005 MAURICE: Oh, good. 180 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,008 Like wine? 181 00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,009 JESSIE: Is it? 182 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:27,015 Getting on well with Uncle lan? 183 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:30,018 - Do you know anything about fish? - Fuck all, my dear. 184 00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:32,980 - You? - Fuck all. 185 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:37,985 - You could consult a book. - A book? 186 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:41,989 Yeah, you know, two flaps of cardboard with printed pages in between. 187 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:47,995 - Do you read a lot? - Only when there's no one to talk to. 188 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:55,002 That went down a treat. Another? 189 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:04,011 - I'll let you get me one more. - Oh, thank you. 190 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:07,014 Excuse me. 191 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:11,018 JESSIE: I think you're sweating on me. I think it's gone in me mouth. 192 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:14,021 - I'm sure you've swallowed worse. - Oh, shit. 193 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,984 JESSIE: I think I'm gonna be sick. 194 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:06,990 Come on. Come on, Jessie. 195 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,992 Nearly there. 196 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:10,994 There you go. 197 00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:11,995 (EXCLAIMS) 198 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,981 (BELL TINKLING) 199 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:39,982 (MAURICE LAUGHING) 200 00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:47,990 MAURICE: Oh, fuck! Jesus! 201 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:53,996 - Dad? Dad. Don't leave us. - He's going. He's going. 202 00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:56,999 MAN: No. Goodbye. Goodbye. 203 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,001 Goodbye, Dad. 204 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,003 MAN 2: And cut. 205 00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:04,006 - Very good. - MAN 3: All right, thanks, everybody. 206 00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:21,982 - Are you okay? - I think I'm going to die. 207 00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:26,987 You can't die yet, Maurice, we haven't shot them carrying the body out yet. 208 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:29,990 (CHUCKLING) 209 00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:33,994 Hello, mate. 210 00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,000 Here you are, Mr. Russell, as requested. 211 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,002 Thanks, old chap. 212 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:45,005 And may I take some of these cakes? 213 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:48,008 Sure, why not? I'll pack some up for you. 214 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,009 Thank you. 215 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:10,989 I'm in such pain, dear, I don't want to live. 216 00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,991 Yes, you do. 217 00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,994 Almost all of us want you to live. 218 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:27,005 I have to have an operation. 219 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,008 - What is it? - Prostate. 220 00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:35,013 - I'm sure it's just routine. - Maurice, I'm so sorry. 221 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:40,018 You've always wanted to remove my balls surgically. 222 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:42,980 These cakes are awfully nice. 223 00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:44,982 Action. 224 00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:48,986 Bravo. 225 00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:52,990 I've been at it like a dog all day. I'm utterly broken. 226 00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:54,992 - What were you playing? - A corpse, more or less. 227 00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:56,994 Typecast again. 228 00:17:56,994 --> 00:17:58,996 (CHUCKLING) 229 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,003 Here. I asked them for cash. 230 00:18:07,004 --> 00:18:09,006 Well, not all of it. 231 00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:12,009 Please, take it. 232 00:18:12,009 --> 00:18:15,012 Put it towards the boiler, it gets cold in here. 233 00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:21,018 The whole thing's useless. 234 00:18:24,021 --> 00:18:27,983 It's all got to be replaced, Maurice, the radiators, everything. 235 00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:31,987 - The man came yesterday. - I owe you thousands. 236 00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:38,994 Over the years, you've been more than generous. 237 00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:40,996 - I haven't forgotten. - No. 238 00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:45,000 Can't the children contribute? 239 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,004 Can't we look after ourselves in our old age? 240 00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:04,019 (EXCLAIMING) 241 00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:05,979 - Sammy's gone. - He has? 242 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,981 - Yeah. - Christ. 243 00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:10,984 Big picture of him here as a handsome young spunker. 244 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:12,986 - Another one down. - Yeah. 245 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,992 I wonder how many lines I'll get? 246 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:20,994 A paragraph. 247 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,999 Lo, here comes Caesar. 248 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,000 And moving rather rapidly 249 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,004 for someone who's just picked up his disability check. 250 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,006 Oh, God. 251 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,009 - Hello, love. - Hello, Donald. 252 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:38,011 Thank Christ she's asleep now. 253 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:42,015 She's drunk all my best Stoli and the Scotch! 254 00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:47,980 She even put away the Drambuie I was saving for your Christmas visit. 255 00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,982 God, no? 256 00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:52,985 I bought this lovely bit of halibut yesterday, 257 00:19:52,985 --> 00:19:54,987 but she didn't know what to do with it. 258 00:19:54,987 --> 00:19:55,988 Dear Jesus. 259 00:19:55,988 --> 00:20:02,995 Her notion of cooking is to stick a plate of virtual sick into the microwave. 260 00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:04,997 - Well, can't you call the police? - That's a very good idea. 261 00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:08,000 Oh, or just kill them, kill the young. 262 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,003 Exterminate their disgusting happiness and hope. 263 00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:15,007 This is not fucking funny! I've got high blood pressure. 264 00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:18,010 I could die at any moment. 265 00:20:19,011 --> 00:20:23,015 - Why doesn't she just go back home? - I rang my niece. I begged her. 266 00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:25,017 I wept more than Antigone. 267 00:20:25,017 --> 00:20:29,021 I said I'd pay for the taxi to wherever, you know. 268 00:20:29,021 --> 00:20:31,982 Martha said there is no job in the countryside. 269 00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:34,985 There must be some demand for barmaids and prostitutes. 270 00:20:34,985 --> 00:20:39,990 Yeah, I mean, even in the country they need young women to lap dance. 271 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:40,991 - What? What? - What do you know about that? 272 00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:42,993 You can learn a lot from the television. 273 00:20:42,993 --> 00:20:46,997 Look, the fact is Martha just doesn't want her back. 274 00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:50,000 But to unleash her on us like this, you know. 275 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,001 - Maliciously. - MAURICE: Exactly. 276 00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,004 - It's pure evil. - DONALD: Of course it is. 277 00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:57,007 - Evil. - Did your niece do it deliberately? 278 00:20:57,007 --> 00:21:00,010 What? What? You men are laughing at me. 279 00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:04,014 - Let's think about this collectively. - Yeah, please, please, please. 280 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,017 - Thank you. - We hate to see you suffer, lan. 281 00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:10,020 Oh, please, Maurice, you're fond of women, all women, 282 00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:13,982 and you're resourceful. Help me. 283 00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:15,984 You couldn't have come to a better man. 284 00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:17,986 A scientist of the female heart. 285 00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:20,989 - A professor of pussy. - That's it. 286 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:24,993 Fucking shut it, Donald! You're really getting on my nerves! 287 00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:27,996 "Fucking shut it, Donald! You're really getting on my nerves!" 288 00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:30,999 - Fucking shut it. - Fucking shut it! 289 00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,000 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 290 00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:38,006 - He's at doctors. - Good. 291 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,008 What? 292 00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:43,011 MAURICE: After scouring the earth on your behalf, Jessie, 293 00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:45,013 I'm here to announce I've got you a job. 294 00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:49,017 - Liar. - It's true. Modeling. 295 00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:52,980 - You've done that? - Yeah. Pleased? 296 00:21:53,981 --> 00:21:57,985 - I said you could rely on me. - Well, what sort of clothes is it? 297 00:21:57,985 --> 00:21:59,987 Do you think I'll get to keep them at the end? 298 00:21:59,987 --> 00:22:02,990 - I'm not sure about that. - Why not? 299 00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:05,993 There's no actual clothes involved. 300 00:22:06,994 --> 00:22:08,996 What? None at all? 301 00:22:08,996 --> 00:22:13,000 No. Not as such. No. 302 00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:17,004 No clothes. None at all. 303 00:22:17,004 --> 00:22:19,006 You're having me do a porno? 304 00:22:19,006 --> 00:22:22,009 I'm not letting anyone l know see me chuffs and bumps. 305 00:22:22,009 --> 00:22:23,010 - It's not like that. - What's it like then? 306 00:22:23,010 --> 00:22:26,013 - You'll see. - You better not be trying to corrupt me. 307 00:22:26,013 --> 00:22:28,015 I am shocked, Jessie, that you would think of me like this. 308 00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:30,017 I am a respectable and respected man. 309 00:22:30,017 --> 00:22:31,018 Oh, yeah, right. 310 00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:34,980 "Chuffs and bumps." I've never heard that before. 311 00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:36,982 - Now you're thinking about it! - I'm not, I promise. 312 00:22:37,983 --> 00:22:39,985 - You think about summat else. - I shall. 313 00:22:40,986 --> 00:22:42,988 Jesus. 314 00:22:49,995 --> 00:22:51,997 Well, when do I start? 315 00:22:53,999 --> 00:22:56,001 Don't keep touching me! 316 00:22:57,002 --> 00:22:59,004 MAURICE: For a moment there I thought my legs might go. 317 00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:01,006 That's no reason to cling on. 318 00:23:01,006 --> 00:23:04,009 Just let yourself fall to the ground natural-like. 319 00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:06,011 MAURICE: Thank you. 320 00:23:15,979 --> 00:23:17,981 I can't do it with anyone I know watching. 321 00:23:17,981 --> 00:23:19,983 You've got to be professional, my dear. 322 00:23:19,983 --> 00:23:21,985 - But I'm nervous. - So am I. 323 00:23:21,985 --> 00:23:26,990 - I am frightened, okay? - Mr. Russell, if you don't mind... 324 00:23:27,991 --> 00:23:30,994 - what? - Could you, please... 325 00:23:41,004 --> 00:23:43,006 Thank you and goodnight. 326 00:24:31,013 --> 00:24:33,015 Everything all right? 327 00:24:33,015 --> 00:24:35,017 MAURICE: You won't be able to do it if you can't relax 328 00:24:35,017 --> 00:24:36,018 and let people look at you. 329 00:24:37,019 --> 00:24:42,983 It's the human form, as it is, naked, in its weakness and beauty. 330 00:24:42,983 --> 00:24:44,985 Oh, yeah? 331 00:24:45,986 --> 00:24:47,988 What would your mother say? 332 00:24:48,989 --> 00:24:51,992 She says if I weren't born, she'd be better off. 333 00:24:53,994 --> 00:24:55,996 JESSIE: Is this it? MAURICE: This is it. 334 00:25:09,009 --> 00:25:10,010 There. 335 00:25:13,013 --> 00:25:14,014 You see? 336 00:25:16,016 --> 00:25:18,018 - Is her name Venus? - No. 337 00:25:19,019 --> 00:25:20,979 Venus is a goddess. 338 00:25:20,979 --> 00:25:22,981 Accompanied by Eros, 339 00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:25,984 she creates love and desire in us mortals 340 00:25:25,984 --> 00:25:29,988 leading often to foolishness and despair. 341 00:25:29,988 --> 00:25:31,990 The usual shit. 342 00:25:33,992 --> 00:25:35,994 For most men, 343 00:25:36,995 --> 00:25:40,999 a woman's body is the most beautiful thing they will ever see. 344 00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:46,004 What's the most beautiful thing a girl sees? 345 00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:48,006 Do you know? 346 00:25:50,008 --> 00:25:51,009 Her first child. 347 00:25:58,016 --> 00:25:59,017 Are you all right? 348 00:26:00,018 --> 00:26:02,980 JESSIE: I'm not doing any more of that modeling, I can tell you that. 349 00:26:02,980 --> 00:26:04,982 MAURICE: The model for Venus was a real woman, just like you, 350 00:26:04,982 --> 00:26:07,985 that's what caused all the fuss. 351 00:26:07,985 --> 00:26:09,987 JESSIE: Do a bit then. 352 00:26:09,987 --> 00:26:11,989 - MAURICE: Now? - If you're so good at it. 353 00:26:14,992 --> 00:26:19,997 "Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand? 354 00:26:20,998 --> 00:26:24,001 "Come, let me clutch thee: 355 00:26:24,001 --> 00:26:26,003 "I have thee not, and yet I see thee still." 356 00:26:26,003 --> 00:26:30,007 - Now, tell me, who wrote that? - I don't know. 357 00:26:30,007 --> 00:26:32,009 Really? 358 00:26:32,009 --> 00:26:35,012 All right then, smart-arse, what about this? 359 00:26:35,012 --> 00:26:38,015 "I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky. 360 00:26:39,016 --> 00:26:40,017 "L should be so lucky." 361 00:26:40,017 --> 00:26:43,020 Well? Who wrote it? 362 00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:45,981 - Not a clue. - Well, there you are then. 363 00:26:47,983 --> 00:26:50,986 JESSIE: Hey, it's like a beach down there. 364 00:26:53,989 --> 00:26:57,993 MAURICE: I lived by the sea when l was a child. 365 00:27:00,996 --> 00:27:02,998 It always calms me. 366 00:27:07,002 --> 00:27:09,004 Shall we go to the seaside, Venus? 367 00:27:10,005 --> 00:27:12,007 I'd rather go to Topshop. 368 00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:13,008 (CHUCKLING) 369 00:27:15,010 --> 00:27:17,012 I'll take you to lunch. 370 00:27:17,012 --> 00:27:19,014 JESSIE: Take me somewhere posh. MAURICE: Posh? 371 00:27:19,014 --> 00:27:22,017 JESSIE: I want to meet someone really famous, not just you. 372 00:27:25,020 --> 00:27:25,979 Who are these bastards? 373 00:27:25,979 --> 00:27:29,983 Some of these arseholes were very well-known. 374 00:27:29,983 --> 00:27:32,986 - For what? - You cheer me up, you know. 375 00:27:32,986 --> 00:27:34,988 - You have a laugh at me, don't you? - Just a little. 376 00:27:34,988 --> 00:27:36,990 - I'll get you back. - You will. 377 00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:37,991 Don't you worry. 378 00:27:45,999 --> 00:27:48,001 MAURICE: Keep still. 379 00:27:48,001 --> 00:27:52,005 - It's not surgery. - I don't trust you. 380 00:27:55,008 --> 00:27:57,010 Got it. A palpable hit. 381 00:27:58,011 --> 00:28:00,013 But where has the little fucker gone? 382 00:28:00,013 --> 00:28:02,015 Who cares? It's free now. 383 00:28:02,015 --> 00:28:06,019 I can't have my home scattered with toenails. 384 00:28:06,019 --> 00:28:08,981 Oh, God. I'll have to get my other glasses. 385 00:28:08,981 --> 00:28:11,984 They're around your fucking neck. 386 00:28:11,984 --> 00:28:13,986 Oh, thank you. 387 00:28:15,988 --> 00:28:17,990 Where's that bastard toenail? 388 00:28:17,990 --> 00:28:18,991 (EX CLAIMS) 389 00:28:18,991 --> 00:28:21,994 There's the little fucker. 390 00:28:23,996 --> 00:28:24,997 How's Valerie? 391 00:28:25,998 --> 00:28:28,000 Phoning me continuously with complaints. 392 00:28:29,001 --> 00:28:31,003 You're her husband. 393 00:28:31,003 --> 00:28:33,005 - Am I? - Yeah. 394 00:28:33,005 --> 00:28:37,009 You did one of your runners, if you remember. 395 00:28:37,009 --> 00:28:38,010 Did I? 396 00:28:39,011 --> 00:28:42,014 But I never wanted to be independent. 397 00:28:42,014 --> 00:28:44,016 I love it. 398 00:28:47,019 --> 00:28:51,982 I am about to die and I know nothing about myself. 399 00:28:54,985 --> 00:28:56,987 You have been loved, though, Maurice. 400 00:28:58,989 --> 00:29:00,991 - You've been adored. - Yes. 401 00:29:02,993 --> 00:29:06,997 And so have you, lan, a little bit. 402 00:29:07,998 --> 00:29:10,000 Except you didn't always notice it. 403 00:29:14,004 --> 00:29:16,006 God, my bloody back! 404 00:29:20,010 --> 00:29:24,014 No, you can't cling to me like this, lan, we'll both go down. 405 00:29:24,014 --> 00:29:27,017 Put me on my feet then, you silly old fool! 406 00:29:27,017 --> 00:29:29,019 You're on your feet. 407 00:29:29,019 --> 00:29:31,980 - Oh. Yeah, well, thank you. - Not at all. 408 00:29:32,981 --> 00:29:36,985 (BOTH HUMMING) 409 00:29:48,997 --> 00:29:50,999 To keep the little minx away from you, 410 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,003 I'm going to sacrifice my day by taking her shopping. 411 00:29:55,003 --> 00:29:58,006 - Marvelous. - But I'll need 20 quid for refreshments. 412 00:29:59,007 --> 00:30:02,010 - Done. - Good boy. What are you going to do? 413 00:30:02,010 --> 00:30:07,015 I need to lie down. She's exhausted me. 414 00:30:07,015 --> 00:30:09,017 I'm going to have a pre-nap nap. 415 00:30:09,017 --> 00:30:12,980 - Where is she? - Dead, I'm sure of it. 416 00:30:12,980 --> 00:30:14,982 Are you absolutely certain? 417 00:30:14,982 --> 00:30:17,985 There will be no sign of life for several hours. 418 00:30:34,001 --> 00:30:35,002 Don't do that. 419 00:30:40,007 --> 00:30:42,009 Coming with me today? 420 00:30:46,013 --> 00:30:48,015 You want me to? 421 00:30:55,981 --> 00:30:56,982 Okay. 422 00:30:57,983 --> 00:30:59,985 Get up then. 423 00:31:00,986 --> 00:31:02,988 I haven't got anything to wear. 424 00:31:02,988 --> 00:31:06,992 I can't think of anything more enraging, my dear. 425 00:31:40,984 --> 00:31:43,987 - If you try and look at me, I'll... - Look? 426 00:31:43,987 --> 00:31:46,990 I am losing the will to live, Venus. 427 00:31:46,990 --> 00:31:49,993 I'll rip your eyes out and stick them up your arse! 428 00:32:01,004 --> 00:32:03,006 JESSIE: Does it suit me? 429 00:32:04,007 --> 00:32:05,008 Yes. 430 00:32:08,011 --> 00:32:10,013 Oh, yes. 431 00:32:11,014 --> 00:32:13,016 In what way? 432 00:32:13,016 --> 00:32:15,018 In all possible ways. 433 00:32:16,019 --> 00:32:18,981 It goes with your... 434 00:32:20,983 --> 00:32:23,986 - what? - Nail varnish. 435 00:32:25,988 --> 00:32:27,990 I'm not wearing nail varnish. 436 00:32:30,993 --> 00:32:32,995 It's beautiful. 437 00:32:41,003 --> 00:32:42,004 WOMAN: Next? 438 00:32:43,005 --> 00:32:46,008 Hello there. It's lovely, isn't it? 439 00:32:46,008 --> 00:32:49,011 Maurice, thank you. 440 00:32:49,011 --> 00:32:51,013 How will you be paying, sir? 441 00:32:51,013 --> 00:32:53,015 Oh, yes, right. 442 00:33:03,984 --> 00:33:07,988 - What's that? - One of Uncle lan's toenail clippings. 443 00:33:07,988 --> 00:33:09,990 Oh, my God! 444 00:33:09,990 --> 00:33:13,994 Otherwise, I'm afraid, I've only got a 20. 445 00:33:14,995 --> 00:33:15,996 Next? 446 00:33:18,999 --> 00:33:20,000 Jessie? 447 00:33:22,002 --> 00:33:23,003 Jessie! 448 00:33:26,006 --> 00:33:27,007 You humiliated me! 449 00:33:28,008 --> 00:33:29,009 (MAURICE GROANING) 450 00:33:29,009 --> 00:33:33,013 - That will teach you! - But weren't we gonna have lunch? 451 00:33:33,013 --> 00:33:37,017 I never wanna see you again! Now I can never go back into that shop! 452 00:34:06,004 --> 00:34:08,006 - You ready? - Christ! 453 00:34:09,007 --> 00:34:12,010 - Will it hurt? - Only if you struggle. 454 00:34:13,011 --> 00:34:14,012 NURSE: Come on now. 455 00:34:15,013 --> 00:34:16,014 Now this might be a bit cold. 456 00:34:16,014 --> 00:34:18,016 (MAURICE EX CLAIMING) 457 00:34:18,016 --> 00:34:19,017 It's all right. 458 00:34:21,019 --> 00:34:22,980 Now just relax. 459 00:34:23,981 --> 00:34:24,982 MAURICE: Jesus! 460 00:34:24,982 --> 00:34:28,986 Everything all right here? Now, I've done hundreds of these. 461 00:34:28,986 --> 00:34:31,989 There's a strong chance of impotence and incontinence. 462 00:34:31,989 --> 00:34:34,992 But you won't be dead and that is a result. 463 00:34:34,992 --> 00:34:37,995 Okay, let's get him to theater. 464 00:34:40,998 --> 00:34:44,001 PORTER: Here we go. MAURICE: I've always liked the theater. 465 00:34:48,005 --> 00:34:52,009 - IAN: Why didn't you tell me? - Oh, you know. 466 00:34:53,010 --> 00:34:55,012 I didn't want to think about it. 467 00:34:57,014 --> 00:34:59,016 I hate sympathy. 468 00:34:59,016 --> 00:35:02,019 But you wouldn't have got any from me. 469 00:35:02,019 --> 00:35:05,981 - I know. You're a true friend. - Yes. 470 00:35:06,982 --> 00:35:08,984 How's the nurse? 471 00:35:08,984 --> 00:35:12,988 It's agony. I told her to be on her way. 472 00:35:13,989 --> 00:35:17,993 - Where will she go? - That's up to her. 473 00:35:18,994 --> 00:35:22,998 They always need people in Africa, I hear. 474 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,003 It hardly seems won'th going home. 475 00:35:42,017 --> 00:35:44,019 Why not? I am a free man! 476 00:35:44,019 --> 00:35:45,979 We just wouldn't recommend it, that's all. 477 00:35:45,979 --> 00:35:46,980 Not for someone so soon after an operation. 478 00:35:46,980 --> 00:35:48,982 Why don't you wait to see the doctor? 479 00:35:48,982 --> 00:35:50,984 Because there are people I need to see! 480 00:35:50,984 --> 00:35:53,987 - Well, can't they come here? - No! 481 00:36:10,003 --> 00:36:13,006 - Hello. - Hello, Jessie. 482 00:36:13,006 --> 00:36:18,011 - It's you. - Yes, it is more or less. 483 00:36:20,013 --> 00:36:22,015 Why didn't you tell me you were having an operation? 484 00:36:22,015 --> 00:36:24,017 I didn't want to cheer you up. 485 00:36:25,018 --> 00:36:26,019 Here. 486 00:36:29,982 --> 00:36:32,985 - Free at last. - I'm glad. 487 00:36:34,987 --> 00:36:35,988 What? 488 00:36:35,988 --> 00:36:39,992 I'm glad, you know. I'm glad you're back. 489 00:36:51,003 --> 00:36:54,006 Well, well, well. How are you, my old fruit? 490 00:36:55,007 --> 00:36:58,010 Do you think Jessie will cut my toenails? 491 00:36:58,010 --> 00:36:59,011 (MAN SINGING ON TV) 492 00:36:59,011 --> 00:37:03,015 I wouldn't let her near my body with anything sharp. 493 00:37:03,015 --> 00:37:06,018 - No. - What's that smell? 494 00:37:07,019 --> 00:37:09,980 - Cologne. - Oh, God. 495 00:37:09,980 --> 00:37:12,983 Get rid of it! It's making me vertiginous! 496 00:37:12,983 --> 00:37:14,985 JESSIE: Drinks, gentlemen? 497 00:37:16,987 --> 00:37:18,989 This is unusual, Jessie. 498 00:37:20,991 --> 00:37:25,996 Are you on ketamine, GBH or just the mushrooms? 499 00:37:26,997 --> 00:37:30,000 - Very good, Uncle. - You see, Maurice, I'm contemporary. 500 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,002 Right. 501 00:37:32,002 --> 00:37:34,004 - I can't see. - What? 502 00:37:34,004 --> 00:37:37,007 - I can't see. Put it somewhere else. - Where? 503 00:37:37,007 --> 00:37:41,011 Somewhere else. There. Where you like. There, over there. 504 00:37:42,012 --> 00:37:46,016 - God, I can't breathe! - Stop shouting then. 505 00:37:46,016 --> 00:37:49,019 I can't get through to you otherwise! 506 00:37:49,019 --> 00:37:51,980 - Oh, no. No. - What now? 507 00:37:51,980 --> 00:37:52,981 Oh, God! 508 00:37:53,982 --> 00:37:54,983 Thank you. 509 00:37:54,983 --> 00:37:57,986 Everyone knows you don't put milk in lemon tea. 510 00:37:57,986 --> 00:37:59,988 You like milk. 511 00:37:59,988 --> 00:38:04,993 I've told you, only on my cereal. Not on anything else. 512 00:38:04,993 --> 00:38:06,995 You like it in your hot chocolate. 513 00:38:06,995 --> 00:38:10,999 - What? - I said you like it in your hot chocolate. 514 00:38:10,999 --> 00:38:17,005 God! I'm exhausted, I really am. Fan me, Maurice, before I expire. 515 00:38:17,005 --> 00:38:19,007 Nuts, anyone? 516 00:38:21,009 --> 00:38:24,012 Bloody nuts! God. 517 00:38:25,013 --> 00:38:29,017 I can't wait to get back to work. I'll take anything. 518 00:38:29,017 --> 00:38:32,980 - Really? - Except corpses. No, I don't need that. 519 00:38:32,980 --> 00:38:34,982 I've cornered the market there. 520 00:38:34,982 --> 00:38:37,985 If I don't get anything, I'll write my memoirs. 521 00:38:37,985 --> 00:38:41,989 - That shouldn't take long. - What? 522 00:38:44,992 --> 00:38:48,996 What do you do to her at your age? 523 00:38:49,997 --> 00:38:54,001 It's a very difficult thing. But I'm nice to her. 524 00:38:55,002 --> 00:38:56,003 Yeah? 525 00:38:58,005 --> 00:39:01,008 - I'll make you a cup of tea. - Thank you. 526 00:39:04,011 --> 00:39:06,013 MAN: You're like a little fairy. 527 00:39:27,993 --> 00:39:29,995 I will die soon, Venus. 528 00:39:31,997 --> 00:39:33,999 Can I touch your hand? 529 00:39:33,999 --> 00:39:36,001 That's one chat up line I haven't heard. 530 00:39:36,001 --> 00:39:40,005 - I'm impotent, of course. - Thank Christ. 531 00:39:41,006 --> 00:39:44,009 But I can still take a theoretical interest. 532 00:39:50,015 --> 00:39:54,019 - Have you been thinking about me? - All the time I was in hospital. 533 00:39:56,980 --> 00:39:59,983 What did you think about me? 534 00:39:59,983 --> 00:40:01,985 I saw your body. 535 00:40:04,988 --> 00:40:05,989 Which part? 536 00:40:07,991 --> 00:40:09,993 Your hair. 537 00:40:10,994 --> 00:40:12,996 Your feet. 538 00:40:13,997 --> 00:40:18,001 Your legs, your behind, your eyes. 539 00:40:19,002 --> 00:40:22,005 - My eyes? - Your elbows. 540 00:40:23,006 --> 00:40:24,007 Your cunt. 541 00:40:30,013 --> 00:40:32,015 Oh, shut up. 542 00:40:41,984 --> 00:40:43,986 You can touch my hand. 543 00:41:15,017 --> 00:41:17,019 Only with your fingers. 544 00:41:18,020 --> 00:41:20,981 Anything else will make me vomitous. 545 00:41:24,985 --> 00:41:25,986 Can I ask you, 546 00:41:28,989 --> 00:41:31,992 have you ever been in love before? 547 00:41:44,004 --> 00:41:49,009 I can do it. L want to do it. I am well enough. L need the money. 548 00:41:52,012 --> 00:41:55,015 Thank you. But l will need a big car. 549 00:41:57,017 --> 00:42:00,020 Yeah, an enormous fucker. 550 00:42:01,980 --> 00:42:05,984 - You must be really famous. - I am. I am. 551 00:42:07,986 --> 00:42:09,988 It's a really important role. 552 00:42:09,988 --> 00:42:12,991 The linchpin of the story. 553 00:42:12,991 --> 00:42:15,994 Yep, it's also a speaking part. 554 00:42:15,994 --> 00:42:17,996 (PUT YO UR RECORDS ON PLAYING ON CAR STEREO) 555 00:42:18,997 --> 00:42:22,000 I'll explain everything to you on the way. 556 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,003 I think you should work in films. 557 00:42:25,003 --> 00:42:27,005 - Do you? - Definitely, yes. 558 00:42:29,007 --> 00:42:31,009 Hey, can we open the roof? 559 00:42:49,987 --> 00:42:51,989 This is wicked! 560 00:42:53,991 --> 00:42:55,993 Turn it up, my man! 561 00:42:56,994 --> 00:42:57,995 More volume. 562 00:43:39,995 --> 00:43:45,000 You will see how fickle men are in love, just like women. 563 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:48,003 I will not believe it until l see it with my own eyes. 564 00:43:48,003 --> 00:43:50,005 They come. 565 00:43:52,007 --> 00:43:55,010 - You were in love with another? - I don't love you! 566 00:43:55,010 --> 00:43:59,014 But my body cannot do without your hands! 567 00:44:01,016 --> 00:44:06,980 You see that when it comes to love, men... 568 00:44:10,984 --> 00:44:11,985 MAN: And cut. 569 00:44:12,986 --> 00:44:14,988 WOMAN: End board. MAN 2: Cut. Cut. 570 00:44:14,988 --> 00:44:16,990 Are you okay, Maurice? Someone bring him a chair. 571 00:44:17,991 --> 00:44:20,994 It's hot. These clothes are heavy. 572 00:44:29,002 --> 00:44:32,005 MAN 1: Barry. Barry? MAN 2: Thank you so much. 573 00:44:40,013 --> 00:44:41,014 MAN 1: All right, well, let's... 574 00:44:41,014 --> 00:44:43,016 we're gonna have to move on, then we can... 575 00:44:43,016 --> 00:44:45,018 MAN 2: All right, that's fine, cool. 576 00:44:45,018 --> 00:44:47,020 MAN 1: Let's give him two minutes, right. 577 00:44:47,020 --> 00:44:47,980 Thank you. 578 00:44:49,982 --> 00:44:50,983 Okay. 579 00:44:56,989 --> 00:44:57,990 Ready. 580 00:45:00,993 --> 00:45:03,996 "I am sorry, my love, but we must part for good. 581 00:45:06,999 --> 00:45:11,003 "I am not the man to make you happy and so we must say goodbye." 582 00:45:11,003 --> 00:45:13,005 (wOMAN SOBBING) 583 00:45:22,014 --> 00:45:24,016 Oh, sure. Sure. 584 00:45:28,020 --> 00:45:29,980 How does she do it? I could never have done that. 585 00:45:29,980 --> 00:45:33,984 - I'm sure you could. - I didn't realize it was so hard. 586 00:45:34,985 --> 00:45:40,991 - It's brilliant. I could never do that. - Mind you, she's terribly pretty. 587 00:45:42,993 --> 00:45:44,995 - Am I not? - Oh, Venus! 588 00:45:44,995 --> 00:45:47,998 Now you've upset me. Jesus, Maurice, do you never learn? 589 00:45:47,998 --> 00:45:48,999 - Sorry. - You will be. 590 00:45:48,999 --> 00:45:52,002 My dear, will you pass me my trousers? 591 00:46:00,010 --> 00:46:02,012 - What is that? - A catheter. 592 00:46:02,012 --> 00:46:05,015 - Oh, my God! - I think it's leaking. 593 00:46:05,015 --> 00:46:06,016 I don't want it on my shoes. 594 00:46:06,016 --> 00:46:08,018 - You're always dripping, Maurice. - Hold on. 595 00:46:08,018 --> 00:46:10,020 There's always bits of you where there shouldn't be. 596 00:46:10,020 --> 00:46:10,979 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 597 00:46:10,979 --> 00:46:12,981 Pass me that towel. 598 00:46:19,988 --> 00:46:20,989 Come in. 599 00:46:21,990 --> 00:46:23,992 - You asked for cash? - Thank you. 600 00:46:27,996 --> 00:46:29,998 I wonder if the shops are open. 601 00:46:33,001 --> 00:46:36,004 JESSIE: Do you think they'll suit me? MAURICE: I don't know. 602 00:46:36,004 --> 00:46:38,006 Let me look at your ears. 603 00:46:39,007 --> 00:46:40,008 Perfect. 604 00:46:40,008 --> 00:46:43,011 - Don't touch. - I know, I know. 605 00:46:46,014 --> 00:46:47,015 Come on. 606 00:46:48,016 --> 00:46:50,018 Have you got the bloody money this time? 607 00:46:50,018 --> 00:46:53,981 Oh, yes. Tons of it. I've got a pocketful. 608 00:47:11,999 --> 00:47:15,002 I think I'm gonna wear these tonight. 609 00:47:19,006 --> 00:47:20,007 Venus, 610 00:47:23,010 --> 00:47:26,013 you look like a movie star. 611 00:47:47,993 --> 00:47:49,995 Is there an old man odor? 612 00:47:51,997 --> 00:47:53,999 Not so much this evening. 613 00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,002 I wonder why. 614 00:48:01,006 --> 00:48:03,008 You can kiss my shoulders. 615 00:48:04,009 --> 00:48:05,010 Can I? 616 00:48:06,011 --> 00:48:08,013 Three kisses. 617 00:48:21,985 --> 00:48:22,986 Three, I said! 618 00:48:22,986 --> 00:48:25,989 And no licking and burping, you dirty, filthy, little shithead. 619 00:48:26,990 --> 00:48:27,991 (CHUCKLING) 620 00:48:30,994 --> 00:48:34,998 - Oh, you please me. - And you me. 621 00:48:44,007 --> 00:48:46,009 (GROANING) 622 00:48:48,011 --> 00:48:50,013 Steady, steady. 623 00:48:53,016 --> 00:48:56,019 I'm just out of intensive care. 624 00:49:00,983 --> 00:49:02,985 You ask for it, Maurice. 625 00:49:02,985 --> 00:49:05,988 You know you do, with your forwardness. 626 00:49:12,995 --> 00:49:14,997 Don't you believe in anything, Maurice? 627 00:49:20,002 --> 00:49:21,003 Pleasure, I like. 628 00:49:23,005 --> 00:49:25,007 I've tried to give pleasure. 629 00:49:27,009 --> 00:49:29,011 That's all I'd recommend to anyone. 630 00:49:32,014 --> 00:49:35,017 You've made me sticky with your slug tongue. 631 00:49:36,018 --> 00:49:38,020 I think I'll have a bath. 632 00:49:39,980 --> 00:49:41,982 Well, well. 633 00:49:43,984 --> 00:49:44,985 I'll run it for you. 634 00:49:52,993 --> 00:49:54,995 This other man, 635 00:49:56,997 --> 00:49:58,999 the other man who loved you, 636 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:03,003 was he not kind to you? 637 00:50:03,003 --> 00:50:06,006 JESSIE: He was kind, for a time. 638 00:50:09,009 --> 00:50:11,011 He promised me things. 639 00:50:11,011 --> 00:50:13,013 He bought me stuff. 640 00:50:15,015 --> 00:50:20,020 We had champagne and there were roses. 641 00:50:20,979 --> 00:50:22,981 Then you got pregnant. 642 00:50:25,984 --> 00:50:28,987 - Does everyone know? - It's happened to girls before. 643 00:50:36,995 --> 00:50:37,996 Then... 644 00:50:40,999 --> 00:50:43,001 Then he stopped being kind. 645 00:50:45,003 --> 00:50:47,005 He went the other way. 646 00:50:49,007 --> 00:50:51,009 A long way that way. 647 00:50:56,014 --> 00:50:57,015 He were engaged. 648 00:50:59,017 --> 00:51:00,018 I didn't know. 649 00:51:03,981 --> 00:51:06,984 It wasn't a miscarriage. 650 00:51:08,986 --> 00:51:10,988 My mum called it that. 651 00:51:15,993 --> 00:51:17,995 It were an abortion. 652 00:51:20,998 --> 00:51:21,999 And she made me. 653 00:51:24,001 --> 00:51:26,003 Terrible. 654 00:51:27,004 --> 00:51:28,005 Yeah. 655 00:51:29,006 --> 00:51:30,007 Yeah. 656 00:51:42,019 --> 00:51:44,980 "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 657 00:51:44,980 --> 00:51:48,984 "Thou art more lovely and more temperate: 658 00:51:49,985 --> 00:51:51,987 "Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, 659 00:51:52,988 --> 00:51:56,992 "And summer's lease hath all too short a date: 660 00:51:57,993 --> 00:52:01,997 "Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, 661 00:52:01,997 --> 00:52:06,001 "And often is his gold completion dimm'd, 662 00:52:06,001 --> 00:52:10,005 "And every fair from fair sometime declines, 663 00:52:11,006 --> 00:52:16,011 "By chance, or nature's changing course untrimm'd, 664 00:52:16,011 --> 00:52:20,015 "But thy eternal summer shall not fade, 665 00:52:21,016 --> 00:52:24,019 "Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st, 666 00:52:24,019 --> 00:52:27,981 "Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade, 667 00:52:28,982 --> 00:52:33,987 "when in eternal lines to time thou grow'st, 668 00:52:34,988 --> 00:52:39,993 "So long as men can breathe, and eyes can see, 669 00:52:39,993 --> 00:52:44,998 "So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." 670 00:52:55,008 --> 00:52:57,010 Venus? 671 00:53:07,020 --> 00:53:08,981 Thank you. 672 00:53:08,981 --> 00:53:09,982 You look wonderful. 673 00:53:11,984 --> 00:53:12,985 Luminous. 674 00:53:13,986 --> 00:53:14,987 Bright. 675 00:53:17,990 --> 00:53:19,992 - Startling. - Do I? 676 00:53:26,999 --> 00:53:29,001 - That story I told you. - Yes. 677 00:53:32,004 --> 00:53:34,006 - You don't think I'm low, do you? - No. 678 00:53:36,008 --> 00:53:39,011 MAURICE: Let's have dinner. JESSIE: No, Maurice, I'm going out. 679 00:53:42,014 --> 00:53:44,016 What a shame. 680 00:53:45,017 --> 00:53:48,020 - Anywhere nice? - A party. 681 00:53:49,021 --> 00:53:51,982 - Alone? - With a boy. 682 00:53:52,983 --> 00:53:54,985 Jolly good. 683 00:53:55,986 --> 00:53:58,989 - Which boy? - Keep your nose out. 684 00:53:58,989 --> 00:54:00,991 Of course. 685 00:54:02,993 --> 00:54:07,998 You can go to the party for an hour and we can meet later. 686 00:54:07,998 --> 00:54:10,000 - It's an all-night party. - Right. 687 00:54:12,002 --> 00:54:15,005 - How will you stay up all night? - I'll manage. 688 00:54:17,007 --> 00:54:20,010 - Uncle lan will worry. - It's all right. L've already asked him. 689 00:54:20,010 --> 00:54:24,014 I think he'll be pleased to get rid of me. I don't think he likes me very much. 690 00:54:24,014 --> 00:54:27,017 - He thinks I'm horrible. - He does. 691 00:54:27,017 --> 00:54:30,020 But I like you, Venus. I like you. 692 00:54:31,980 --> 00:54:32,981 I love you. 693 00:54:36,985 --> 00:54:37,986 Bye. 694 00:54:38,987 --> 00:54:40,989 Can we meet tomorrow? 695 00:54:40,989 --> 00:54:43,992 Yeah, okay. I'll meet you after lunch, by the canal. 696 00:54:45,994 --> 00:54:47,996 Thanks for the earrings. 697 00:55:37,004 --> 00:55:40,007 (BANGING ON DOOR) 698 00:55:43,010 --> 00:55:46,013 - Hello. - MAURICE: Hello. 699 00:55:46,013 --> 00:55:48,015 Have I forgotten? Did I invite you? 700 00:55:48,015 --> 00:55:52,019 No, I invited you and I wanted to see you. 701 00:55:54,021 --> 00:55:54,980 Did you? 702 00:55:56,982 --> 00:55:57,983 Good God. 703 00:56:03,989 --> 00:56:04,990 VALERIE: Maurice. 704 00:56:05,991 --> 00:56:07,993 Maurice, quickly! 705 00:56:08,994 --> 00:56:10,996 Why do you keep shouting when I am cooking? 706 00:56:11,997 --> 00:56:15,000 You're on TV. Look, look. 707 00:56:16,001 --> 00:56:18,003 (PEOPLE SPEAKING ON TV) 708 00:56:18,003 --> 00:56:19,004 Oh, Christ! 709 00:56:21,006 --> 00:56:24,009 Oh, how handsome you were. 710 00:56:26,011 --> 00:56:29,014 - And there's that woman... - Yeah, yeah. 711 00:56:29,014 --> 00:56:31,016 ...who took you away from us. 712 00:56:33,018 --> 00:56:35,020 It's burning. 713 00:56:35,020 --> 00:56:37,981 - You will burn, Maurice. - Yes, dear. 714 00:56:38,982 --> 00:56:40,984 MAURICE ON TV: ...get my grouch thoughts in order. 715 00:56:41,985 --> 00:56:42,986 It's very good. 716 00:56:51,995 --> 00:56:53,997 You were a good mother. 717 00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:00,003 I rather left you holding the baby, didn't I? 718 00:57:00,003 --> 00:57:05,008 You did do that. Three children under six, to be exact. 719 00:57:05,008 --> 00:57:09,012 I can see it must have been inconvenient. 720 00:57:09,012 --> 00:57:12,015 That you put your own pleasure first? 721 00:57:17,020 --> 00:57:18,981 I did love you. 722 00:57:21,984 --> 00:57:24,987 For a time. 723 00:57:24,987 --> 00:57:27,990 And for the rest of the time, I was fond of you. 724 00:57:27,990 --> 00:57:31,994 - Please, no. No, don't. - More than fond of you. 725 00:57:31,994 --> 00:57:34,997 You don't have to. I don't want it. 726 00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:41,003 It's my goodbye to you. 727 00:57:41,003 --> 00:57:43,005 Why, where are you going? 728 00:57:55,017 --> 00:57:58,020 - We won't live forever. - No. 729 01:00:02,019 --> 01:00:04,980 IAN: You looked rather forlorn. 730 01:00:04,980 --> 01:00:07,983 MAURICE: This is a rare treat, my friend. 731 01:00:08,984 --> 01:00:11,987 There are no pockets in a shroud. 732 01:00:13,989 --> 01:00:17,993 IAN: Oh, God, it's a long way up, eh? 733 01:00:22,998 --> 01:00:27,002 MAURICE: '57, I first saw you. IAN: It was? 734 01:00:27,002 --> 01:00:29,004 MAURICE: You were a strapping Laertes. 735 01:00:29,004 --> 01:00:33,008 Strapping? Yeah, sounds like me. 736 01:00:33,008 --> 01:00:36,011 The Ophelia was something of a minger. 737 01:00:36,011 --> 01:00:39,014 You wore a kilt, if I'm not mistaken. 738 01:00:40,015 --> 01:00:43,018 Bloody Peter Hall. 739 01:00:43,018 --> 01:00:44,019 (CHUCKLING) 740 01:00:47,981 --> 01:00:49,983 I love this horrible place. 741 01:00:51,985 --> 01:00:56,990 It reminds me of what I wanted to become. 742 01:01:01,995 --> 01:01:03,997 Another large one? 743 01:01:05,999 --> 01:01:07,000 Hmm. 744 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:08,001 Yes. 745 01:01:14,007 --> 01:01:15,008 - Come on. - What? 746 01:01:15,008 --> 01:01:18,011 - I've got a good idea. - What? 747 01:01:20,013 --> 01:01:22,015 - What? - You'll see. 748 01:01:22,015 --> 01:01:24,017 - What? - You'll see. 749 01:01:27,020 --> 01:01:27,980 IAN: Shit. 750 01:01:29,982 --> 01:01:31,984 Oh, God. 751 01:01:32,985 --> 01:01:36,989 You must protect the old man. 752 01:01:54,006 --> 01:01:56,008 MAURICE: Boris Karloff. IAN: Yeah, I know. 753 01:01:56,008 --> 01:01:59,011 He was a sweetie, apparently. 754 01:02:00,012 --> 01:02:01,013 MAURICE: Mr. Pratt. 755 01:02:03,015 --> 01:02:07,019 Robert Shaw. Richard Beckinsale. 756 01:02:09,980 --> 01:02:11,982 IAN: They're running out of room here. 757 01:02:14,985 --> 01:02:17,988 Luckily lan isn't a long name. 758 01:02:23,994 --> 01:02:26,997 (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 759 01:02:37,007 --> 01:02:41,011 - Shall we? - Oh, yes. 760 01:03:30,018 --> 01:03:32,980 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 761 01:04:12,019 --> 01:04:14,980 I'm sorry I didn't come to meet you. 762 01:04:16,982 --> 01:04:19,985 You can smell my neck. 763 01:04:19,985 --> 01:04:21,987 - I can? - You can. 764 01:04:23,989 --> 01:04:26,992 No kissing. That would make me never come back. 765 01:04:28,994 --> 01:04:29,995 I understand. 766 01:04:56,980 --> 01:05:01,985 - You like to do this, don't you? - There really isn't anything else. 767 01:05:02,986 --> 01:05:04,988 - Maurice? - Yes. 768 01:05:06,990 --> 01:05:09,993 - I want something. - You do? 769 01:05:11,995 --> 01:05:14,998 I'm sure it's something I'll have to think about. 770 01:05:14,998 --> 01:05:19,002 - For how long? - I don't know. 771 01:05:27,010 --> 01:05:31,014 - Why don't we move things on a little? - How could we do that? 772 01:05:34,017 --> 01:05:37,020 - I want to give you a treat. - You do? 773 01:05:37,020 --> 01:05:39,982 - I want to cheer you up. - Yes? How? 774 01:05:43,986 --> 01:05:45,988 - How? - Watch. 775 01:06:31,992 --> 01:06:33,994 Thanks, Maurice. 776 01:07:18,997 --> 01:07:19,998 Sit, please. Sit. 777 01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:24,002 Thank you. 778 01:07:42,020 --> 01:07:43,981 You insult me. 779 01:07:43,981 --> 01:07:47,985 On the contrary, the insult is on the other side. 780 01:07:47,985 --> 01:07:50,988 - How so? - Do I look like a fool? Do I? 781 01:07:52,990 --> 01:07:53,991 Answer me. 782 01:07:53,991 --> 01:07:56,994 Don't tempt me, I haven't had my tranquillizer yet. 783 01:07:56,994 --> 01:08:00,998 Yes, you're easily tempted, as we know. 784 01:08:00,998 --> 01:08:06,003 I've been questioning my niece's daughter very closely, 785 01:08:06,003 --> 01:08:08,005 in search of the facts. 786 01:08:08,005 --> 01:08:13,010 - You begged me to find her work. - You have degraded that girl. 787 01:08:13,010 --> 01:08:18,015 Jessie is a shy, provincial girl. 788 01:08:18,015 --> 01:08:22,019 To take advantage of such a vulnerable, young person, 789 01:08:22,019 --> 01:08:26,982 to take her to drinking establishments, ply her with alcohol. 790 01:08:26,982 --> 01:08:30,986 - She plied me. - Oh, really? 791 01:08:31,987 --> 01:08:35,991 Yes, well, did you buy these? 792 01:08:36,992 --> 01:08:37,993 These? 793 01:08:39,995 --> 01:08:40,996 IAN: Hmm? 794 01:08:41,997 --> 01:08:42,998 This is ridiculous. 795 01:08:42,998 --> 01:08:48,003 She said you paid for her to be tattooed! 796 01:08:48,003 --> 01:08:50,005 - Did you? - Oh, Christ. 797 01:08:50,005 --> 01:08:52,007 It was a small snake. 798 01:08:52,007 --> 01:08:53,008 Well, well, well. 799 01:08:53,008 --> 01:08:56,011 You never welcomed her. You called her vile. 800 01:08:56,011 --> 01:08:57,012 That is a lie! 801 01:08:57,012 --> 01:09:01,016 Now, hang on, lan, old man. You have to admit, 802 01:09:01,016 --> 01:09:04,019 you did have one or two little reservations about her character. 803 01:09:04,019 --> 01:09:06,980 How dare you? What the hell do you mean? 804 01:09:06,980 --> 01:09:09,983 You handed her that halibut and expected her to... 805 01:09:09,983 --> 01:09:12,986 To what? To cook it? 806 01:09:12,986 --> 01:09:16,990 That's all. That's perverted exploitation? 807 01:09:16,990 --> 01:09:21,995 But to be so desperate, to behave without respect for me... 808 01:09:21,995 --> 01:09:22,996 Now you strike me! 809 01:09:22,996 --> 01:09:24,998 Maurice, please. We come here every day. 810 01:09:24,998 --> 01:09:27,000 They bring us croissants with our coffee. 811 01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:29,002 Did you see? I have been struck! 812 01:09:29,002 --> 01:09:33,006 Get some sense into your thick skull before you die, lan! 813 01:09:33,006 --> 01:09:36,009 You venomous rat! A dying man. 814 01:09:36,009 --> 01:09:39,012 - A bloody fool, too! - Right, let's have you! 815 01:09:39,012 --> 01:09:41,014 - Oh, come on. - I'll take you on. 816 01:09:41,014 --> 01:09:43,016 Come on, where are we going with this? 817 01:09:44,017 --> 01:09:46,019 - He hit me again! Did you see that? - Come on! 818 01:09:46,019 --> 01:09:47,980 - What is this, catheters at dawn? - Oh, shut up. 819 01:09:47,980 --> 01:09:49,982 I'm going to have to bar you two troublemakers. 820 01:09:49,982 --> 01:09:51,984 - IAN: He started it! - I did not! 821 01:09:51,984 --> 01:09:54,987 - Yes! - Out! I want you out! Out of here! Out! 822 01:09:54,987 --> 01:09:58,991 MAURICE: All right, I'm going. Don't worry, I'm going. 823 01:09:58,991 --> 01:10:01,994 - IAN: Get out of here! Get out! - Out! 824 01:10:14,006 --> 01:10:17,009 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 825 01:10:26,018 --> 01:10:27,019 Hiya. 826 01:10:34,985 --> 01:10:36,987 Can we come in? 827 01:11:11,980 --> 01:11:12,981 Go on, ask him. 828 01:11:23,992 --> 01:11:24,993 Maurice? 829 01:11:27,996 --> 01:11:29,998 Do you want to go for a little walk? 830 01:11:33,001 --> 01:11:36,004 Exercise is good for some people, I've heard. 831 01:11:43,011 --> 01:11:47,015 (MAURICE MUTTERING) 832 01:11:52,980 --> 01:11:54,982 (PEOPLE TALKING) 833 01:11:56,984 --> 01:11:58,986 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 834 01:11:58,986 --> 01:12:00,988 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 835 01:12:37,983 --> 01:12:39,985 (HORSE NEIGHING) 836 01:12:49,995 --> 01:12:51,997 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 837 01:12:51,997 --> 01:12:55,000 MAURICE: ...barbarous, most degenerate... 838 01:12:56,001 --> 01:13:00,005 "To be or not to be, that is the question." 839 01:13:17,981 --> 01:13:20,984 No! No! Out! 840 01:13:22,986 --> 01:13:23,987 Out! Out! 841 01:13:24,988 --> 01:13:28,992 - Out! Out! - All right, mate! 842 01:13:29,993 --> 01:13:31,995 I ain't finished yet. 843 01:13:31,995 --> 01:13:34,998 All right, keep your hair on! Keep your hair on, mate. 844 01:13:45,008 --> 01:13:48,011 You invited us in, old man. 845 01:13:48,011 --> 01:13:50,013 Come on, let's go. 846 01:13:53,016 --> 01:13:57,020 And you are a dirty, dirty, old man. 847 01:13:58,981 --> 01:14:00,983 And you are on your way. 848 01:14:03,986 --> 01:14:04,987 - BO Y: Oh, no, not the stick! - Stop it! 849 01:14:04,987 --> 01:14:06,989 I'm really frightened, Granddad. 850 01:14:11,994 --> 01:14:14,997 Come on! Just leave the fucking door! 851 01:14:14,997 --> 01:14:16,999 Come on. Stop fucking pissing... 852 01:14:16,999 --> 01:14:20,002 - My fucking head is fucking hurting! - Come on, then! 853 01:14:20,002 --> 01:14:22,004 BOY: What's your fucking problem? 854 01:14:22,004 --> 01:14:25,007 JESSIE: You stupid bastard, what have you done? 855 01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,002 JESSIE: Maurice! 856 01:15:03,003 --> 01:15:04,004 Maurice! 857 01:15:08,008 --> 01:15:10,010 Maurice! Open the door, Maurice! 858 01:15:12,012 --> 01:15:14,014 (JESSIE SOBBING) 859 01:15:24,983 --> 01:15:26,985 Are you responsible for this? 860 01:15:27,986 --> 01:15:28,987 Hmm? 861 01:15:32,991 --> 01:15:36,995 Apparently there was an intruder, though there's no sign of forced entry. 862 01:15:36,995 --> 01:15:38,997 - He was knocked down. - Who was it? 863 01:15:38,997 --> 01:15:40,999 POLICEMAN: Well, I did ask for a description 864 01:15:40,999 --> 01:15:44,002 and all he could say was, "He was damned ugly". 865 01:15:44,002 --> 01:15:47,005 He's a white male, in his early 70s. 866 01:15:47,005 --> 01:15:50,008 - Romeo, Uniform, Sierra, Sierra... - well, you have to take him in. 867 01:15:50,008 --> 01:15:53,011 If the worst comes to the worst, tomorrow morning will be all right. 868 01:15:53,011 --> 01:15:57,015 He can't stay here alone. I'll phone you back. 869 01:15:58,016 --> 01:16:00,018 Hi. 870 01:16:00,018 --> 01:16:03,981 I'm having some trouble getting a bed. He needs someone with him. 871 01:16:03,981 --> 01:16:05,983 - Are you... - No, of course not. 872 01:16:06,984 --> 01:16:09,987 I could die at any moment myself. I've got high blood pressure. 873 01:16:09,987 --> 01:16:14,992 I've got chronic anxiety, burning indigestion. 874 01:16:14,992 --> 01:16:16,994 Yeah, okay. Right. 875 01:16:16,994 --> 01:16:18,996 MAURICE: Venus. 876 01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:25,002 Venus. 877 01:16:26,003 --> 01:16:28,005 Who the hell is Venus? 878 01:16:30,007 --> 01:16:31,008 I am. 879 01:16:32,009 --> 01:16:36,013 He wants to see you. He's asked if you'll look after him. 880 01:16:36,013 --> 01:16:37,014 Her? 881 01:16:39,016 --> 01:16:41,018 Yes. 882 01:17:08,003 --> 01:17:10,005 I'm sorry. 883 01:17:12,007 --> 01:17:14,009 Please, forgive me. 884 01:17:18,013 --> 01:17:20,015 Let it go, Maurice. 885 01:17:21,016 --> 01:17:23,018 I'll do anything. 886 01:17:25,979 --> 01:17:26,980 Please. 887 01:17:27,981 --> 01:17:29,983 I'll never be mean again. 888 01:17:31,985 --> 01:17:33,987 Sorry. 889 01:17:35,989 --> 01:17:37,991 JESSIE: I'm sorry. 890 01:17:50,003 --> 01:17:51,004 Maurice? 891 01:17:53,006 --> 01:17:54,007 Maurice? 892 01:17:55,008 --> 01:17:57,010 Can you hear me? 893 01:17:58,011 --> 01:18:00,013 Make a sign. 894 01:18:02,015 --> 01:18:03,016 Maurice? 895 01:18:14,987 --> 01:18:15,988 Look, Maurice. 896 01:18:33,005 --> 01:18:37,009 "Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed, 897 01:18:37,009 --> 01:18:42,014 "The dear repose for limbs with travel tired, 898 01:18:42,014 --> 01:18:45,017 "But then begins a journey in my head." 899 01:18:48,020 --> 01:18:49,980 What do you want? 900 01:19:12,002 --> 01:19:16,006 Well, they're coming to take you to hospital now. 901 01:19:16,006 --> 01:19:17,007 But I've got you. 902 01:19:19,009 --> 01:19:24,014 - Maurice. - I have got a much better idea. 903 01:19:25,015 --> 01:19:26,016 Have you? 904 01:21:03,989 --> 01:21:05,991 (JESSIE GIGGLING) 905 01:21:09,995 --> 01:21:12,998 I knew you would enjoy yourself. 906 01:21:20,005 --> 01:21:23,008 I think we should go home now. 907 01:21:24,009 --> 01:21:26,011 A little longer. 908 01:21:31,016 --> 01:21:33,018 JESSIE: Are you tired? MAURICE: Oh, yes. 909 01:21:35,979 --> 01:21:38,982 - What shall we do? - Carry on. 910 01:21:39,983 --> 01:21:41,985 JESSIE: Yeah. 911 01:21:44,988 --> 01:21:47,991 Will you take off my boots? 912 01:21:49,993 --> 01:21:53,997 - It's too cold, Maurice. - I know. I know. 913 01:21:54,998 --> 01:21:58,001 It was always bloody cold. 914 01:21:59,002 --> 01:22:01,004 Will you? 915 01:22:04,007 --> 01:22:05,008 Yeah. 916 01:22:34,997 --> 01:22:36,999 (MAURICE LAUGHING) 917 01:22:58,020 --> 01:22:59,021 Now 918 01:23:01,982 --> 01:23:03,984 we can really talk. 919 01:23:04,985 --> 01:23:05,986 Yeah. 920 01:23:12,993 --> 01:23:14,995 (SNORING) 921 01:23:15,996 --> 01:23:17,998 Maurice? 922 01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:21,001 Maurice? 923 01:23:23,003 --> 01:23:24,004 Maurice? 924 01:23:26,006 --> 01:23:28,008 Maurice? 925 01:23:28,008 --> 01:23:29,009 No, Maurice. 926 01:23:29,009 --> 01:23:31,011 Maurice? 927 01:23:31,011 --> 01:23:33,013 Maurice, wake up! 928 01:23:33,013 --> 01:23:35,015 Wake up, Maurice. 929 01:23:40,979 --> 01:23:43,982 JESSIE: Excuse me, excuse me. 930 01:23:44,983 --> 01:23:47,986 I need to use your phone. I think he's dead. I think he's dead. 931 01:23:47,986 --> 01:23:49,988 I need to use your phone, please. I need to use your phone. 932 01:23:49,988 --> 01:23:52,991 Please? Please, I need you to call an ambulance. 933 01:23:52,991 --> 01:23:53,992 I don't know what to do. 934 01:23:53,992 --> 01:23:57,996 I think he's dead. I think he's dead. I don't know what to do. 935 01:24:47,004 --> 01:24:50,007 - So it was you. - What? 936 01:24:54,011 --> 01:24:56,013 I'm his wife. 937 01:24:56,013 --> 01:24:59,016 He was thinking about someone and it was you. 938 01:25:00,017 --> 01:25:03,020 Don't feel awkward. Lan told me. 939 01:25:04,980 --> 01:25:05,981 Lan still won't talk to me. 940 01:25:06,982 --> 01:25:09,985 He thinks I did for Maurice, the paddling and stuff. 941 01:25:09,985 --> 01:25:13,989 The paddling was marvelous, the best way to go. 942 01:25:15,991 --> 01:25:17,993 He really were a celebrity. 943 01:25:17,993 --> 01:25:20,996 When you die, everyone wants to be your friend. 944 01:25:23,999 --> 01:25:27,002 What are you going to do? 945 01:25:27,002 --> 01:25:30,005 I'm not going home. I can't go back now. 946 01:25:32,007 --> 01:25:34,009 And lan won't have me in the house. 947 01:25:37,012 --> 01:25:40,015 I've got somewhere you could stay for a bit. 948 01:26:11,004 --> 01:26:12,005 WAITRESS: Here we go. 949 01:26:13,006 --> 01:26:15,008 Where's your friend? 950 01:26:22,015 --> 01:26:24,017 God, he was gorgeous. 951 01:26:25,018 --> 01:26:27,980 Yes, he was gorgeous. 952 01:26:50,002 --> 01:26:52,004 She wants to return these. 953 01:26:54,006 --> 01:26:55,007 Say thank you. 954 01:27:05,017 --> 01:27:07,019 She wants to know if you're still angry with her. 955 01:27:08,020 --> 01:27:09,980 She says she's sorry. 956 01:27:11,982 --> 01:27:15,986 Tell her I'm not angry now. 957 01:27:17,988 --> 01:27:20,991 I just wasn't ready for someone like her. 958 01:27:23,994 --> 01:27:25,996 He says he's not angry... 959 01:27:34,004 --> 01:27:36,006 She says she'll come round tomorrow, if you want. 960 01:27:36,006 --> 01:27:39,009 She'll cook you some fish. 961 01:27:41,011 --> 01:27:42,012 Tell her 962 01:27:45,015 --> 01:27:47,017 we can cook the fish 963 01:27:49,019 --> 01:27:50,979 together. 964 01:27:51,980 --> 01:27:52,981 Are you sure you don't want to come in? 965 01:27:52,981 --> 01:27:55,984 - No, no. - All right, see you then. 966 01:28:43,991 --> 01:28:46,493 How many columns did he get?