1 00:00:05,955 --> 00:00:10,624 Subtitles resynced and notes by AsifAkheir♪♪ 2 00:00:11,550 --> 00:00:13,716 One, two. Two, two. 3 00:00:23,931 --> 00:00:25,566 ♪ So please you, sir, we much regret 4 00:00:25,799 --> 00:00:28,002 ♪ If we have failed in etiquette 5 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:29,771 ♪ Towards a man of rank so high 6 00:00:30,005 --> 00:00:31,839 ♪ We shall know better by and by 7 00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:34,275 ♪ But youth, of course, must have its fling 8 00:00:34,510 --> 00:00:36,513 ♪ So pardon us, so pardon us 9 00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:38,281 ♪ And don't in girlhood's happy spring 10 00:00:38,514 --> 00:00:40,617 ♪ Be hard on us, be hard on us 11 00:00:40,852 --> 00:00:43,287 ♪ If we're inclined to dance and sing 12 00:00:43,521 --> 00:00:44,789 ♪ Tralalalala 13 00:00:45,057 --> 00:00:47,925 ♪ But youth, of course, must have its fling 14 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:49,126 ♪ So pardon us 15 00:00:49,361 --> 00:00:51,964 ♪ And don't in girlhood's happy spring 16 00:00:52,197 --> 00:00:53,298 ♪ Be hard on us 17 00:00:53,533 --> 00:00:56,169 ♪ But youth, of course, must have its fling 18 00:00:56,402 --> 00:00:57,270 ♪ So pardon us 19 00:00:57,537 --> 00:00:59,439 ♪ Tralalala la la la 20 00:00:59,673 --> 00:01:01,675 ♪ Tralalala la la 21 00:01:01,909 --> 00:01:03,911 ♪ Tralalala la la 22 00:01:04,178 --> 00:01:06,214 ♪ Tra lalalalalala 23 00:01:06,448 --> 00:01:11,419 ♪ Tralalalalalala la! 24 00:02:13,527 --> 00:02:16,496 - Sir Arthur, what are you doing? - Going to the theatre. 25 00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:19,099 - No, it is not possible. - I have no choice! 26 00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:22,802 - You must get back... - Louis! 27 00:02:25,407 --> 00:02:29,512 - Hot coffee, very strong, please. - D'accord. 28 00:02:41,492 --> 00:02:45,396 - Louis! "Schnell", please! - Don't move. 29 00:02:46,163 --> 00:02:49,734 Clothilde, encore du café. Vite. 30 00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:54,039 Sir Arthur, la tasse, s'il vous plaît. 31 00:02:54,273 --> 00:02:57,411 - Bonne chance, Sir Arthur. - Merci. 32 00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:59,480 Nicht so schnell. 33 00:02:59,715 --> 00:03:01,616 Louis, ich muss das allein tun. 34 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:05,453 I'll be fine. Now go and fetch the cab. 35 00:03:17,401 --> 00:03:19,235 - Canton. - Good evening, sir. 36 00:03:19,504 --> 00:03:20,639 Arthur! 37 00:03:20,905 --> 00:03:22,940 - Arthur, is this wise? - No, it's foolish. 38 00:03:23,174 --> 00:03:26,377 - Do you intend to go on? - Yes, Helen. I've never missed one yet. 39 00:03:26,612 --> 00:03:28,046 I'll let everybody know. 40 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,284 - Here, take a drink. - Thank you. 41 00:03:31,518 --> 00:03:33,219 Oh, that's better, Frank. 42 00:03:33,453 --> 00:03:36,124 - Your gloves, sir. - Very good, Louis. 43 00:03:36,358 --> 00:03:39,894 This "is" a surprise, sir. 44 00:04:22,810 --> 00:04:24,445 ♪ As up we string the faithless king 45 00:04:24,679 --> 00:04:26,414 ♪ In the old familiar way 46 00:04:26,649 --> 00:04:28,117 ♪ We'll shout ha ha! Hip hip hurrah! 47 00:04:28,385 --> 00:04:31,420 ♪ Hip hip hip hip hurrah! 48 00:04:31,654 --> 00:04:33,690 ♪ As we make an end of her false papa! 49 00:04:33,924 --> 00:04:37,095 ♪ Hurrah! Hurrah! 50 00:04:37,329 --> 00:04:40,097 - Permission, Mr Cook. - Permission, Shrimp. 51 00:04:40,331 --> 00:04:41,132 Come! 52 00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:44,503 Five minutes, Mr Grossmith. 53 00:05:01,489 --> 00:05:04,927 ♪ If you give me your attention I will tell you what I am 54 00:05:05,161 --> 00:05:06,663 ♪ I'm a genuine philanthropist 55 00:05:06,896 --> 00:05:08,362 ♪ All other kinds are sham 56 00:05:08,597 --> 00:05:10,133 ♪ Each little fault of temper 57 00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:11,935 ♪ And each social defect 58 00:05:12,168 --> 00:05:13,536 ♪ In my erring fellow creatures 59 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,238 ♪ I endeavour to correct 60 00:05:15,505 --> 00:05:17,007 ♪ To all their little weaknesses 61 00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:18,776 ♪ I open people's eyes 62 00:05:19,010 --> 00:05:21,846 ♪ And little plans to snub the self-sufficient I devise 63 00:05:22,081 --> 00:05:23,782 ♪ I love my fellow creatures 64 00:05:24,016 --> 00:05:25,784 ♪ I do all the good I can 65 00:05:26,019 --> 00:05:28,822 ♪ Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man 66 00:05:29,056 --> 00:05:32,526 ♪ And I can't think why 67 00:05:36,331 --> 00:05:38,131 ♪ I'm sure I'm no ascetic 68 00:05:38,366 --> 00:05:39,968 ♪ I'm as pleasant as can be 69 00:05:40,202 --> 00:05:43,372 ♪ You'll always find me ready with a crushing repartee 70 00:05:43,606 --> 00:05:46,942 ♪ I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer 71 00:05:47,176 --> 00:05:48,311 ♪ I've an entertaining snigger 72 00:05:48,545 --> 00:05:50,346 ♪ I've a fascinating leer 73 00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:53,583 ♪ To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two 74 00:05:53,817 --> 00:05:56,888 ♪ I can tell a woman's age in half a minute - and I do 75 00:05:57,122 --> 00:05:59,024 ♪ But although I try to make myself 76 00:05:59,258 --> 00:06:01,025 ♪ As pleasant as I can 77 00:06:01,259 --> 00:06:04,096 ♪ Yet everybody says I am a disagreeable man 78 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:06,098 ♪ And I can't think why 79 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:09,001 ♪ He can't think why 80 00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:11,705 ♪ I can't think 81 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:15,408 ♪ Why 82 00:06:19,148 --> 00:06:22,185 - Monsieur. - Bonsoir. 83 00:06:22,419 --> 00:06:25,989 - Vous avez lá un succés certain. - Merci. 84 00:06:26,223 --> 00:06:30,427 What do you expect me to do? Kiss the carpenters? 85 00:06:33,531 --> 00:06:37,002 Arthur! 86 00:06:38,169 --> 00:06:39,871 Let's get him up. 87 00:06:40,105 --> 00:06:42,241 Come on, sir. 88 00:06:42,507 --> 00:06:44,342 Arthur, take some brandy. 89 00:06:44,577 --> 00:06:46,411 What happened? What happened?! 90 00:06:46,646 --> 00:06:50,151 Is Doctor Lynch in the house? 91 00:06:52,487 --> 00:06:54,320 Listen to this! Today's "Times". 92 00:06:54,589 --> 00:06:57,226 "'Princess Ida' will probably run for a year... 93 00:06:57,459 --> 00:07:01,061 ...keeping the Savoy treasury agreeably replete all the while." 94 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:02,932 "All London will flock to hear it." 95 00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:06,536 "So will our provincial, American and continental visitors." 96 00:07:06,769 --> 00:07:10,273 "Copies of its words and music will be sold by tens of thousands." 97 00:07:10,507 --> 00:07:14,613 "Everybody connected with it will have a good time for at least twelve months." 98 00:07:14,847 --> 00:07:16,414 "So mote it be." 99 00:07:16,648 --> 00:07:20,018 - How splendid, Willie! - Sugared words, Lucy. 100 00:07:20,252 --> 00:07:21,854 Listen. 101 00:07:22,087 --> 00:07:26,593 "The opera is above the level of all other entertainments before the public." 102 00:07:26,827 --> 00:07:29,997 "Still, I cannot pronounce it to be in any way... 103 00:07:30,230 --> 00:07:32,366 ...an improvement upon its predecessors." 104 00:07:32,633 --> 00:07:35,270 "To me, words and music alike reveal... 105 00:07:35,503 --> 00:07:39,874 ...symptoms of fatigue in their respective composer and author." 106 00:07:40,109 --> 00:07:43,446 "Arthur Sullivan cannot write other than in pleasing manner... 107 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:47,650 ...but several numbers in 'Princess Ida' lack the freshness and spontaneity... 108 00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:50,488 ...of 'The Pirates of Penzance', 'Patience, lolanthe'... 109 00:07:50,755 --> 00:07:52,956 ...or 'The Sorcerer', his best operatic work." 110 00:07:53,191 --> 00:07:54,659 Oh! Is it? 111 00:07:54,893 --> 00:07:57,461 "Or 'HMS Pinafore', the most popular." 112 00:07:57,696 --> 00:08:02,501 "WS Gilbert abundantly proves he is still the legitimate monarch... 113 00:08:02,735 --> 00:08:05,237 ...of the realm of Topsy-Turvydom." 114 00:08:05,472 --> 00:08:08,708 Thank you very much(!) 115 00:08:08,942 --> 00:08:12,981 "But his incongruities are more elaborately worked up than of yore... 116 00:08:13,215 --> 00:08:15,749 ...and therefore less funny." 117 00:08:15,984 --> 00:08:19,789 "Moreover, the story is a dull one!" 118 00:08:20,023 --> 00:08:21,858 - Burn it, Pidgeon! - Sir. 119 00:08:22,092 --> 00:08:23,926 Willie...! 120 00:08:24,194 --> 00:08:28,065 Your kidneys are getting cold! 121 00:08:30,634 --> 00:08:33,771 The show's doing splendidly. Full houses and a healthy advance. 122 00:08:34,005 --> 00:08:35,773 - Capital. - Three tours on the road. 123 00:08:36,007 --> 00:08:38,209 Pirates, Patience and lolanthe. 124 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:40,512 - And four in rehearsal. - Merveilleux. 125 00:08:40,746 --> 00:08:42,581 New York can't wait for "Ida". 126 00:08:42,816 --> 00:08:45,052 Ah, New York. How splendid. 127 00:08:45,318 --> 00:08:48,054 - Helen has us booked up to year's end. - Tireless as ever. 128 00:08:48,288 --> 00:08:49,890 All part of my day's work. 129 00:08:50,158 --> 00:08:52,193 - Tea, Miss Lenoir? - No, thank you, Louis. 130 00:08:52,427 --> 00:08:54,696 Very well. 131 00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:57,499 I hope your confinement hasn't made you restless. 132 00:08:57,733 --> 00:09:00,736 How have you been passing the time? 133 00:09:00,969 --> 00:09:03,640 I've made some resolutions, Helen. 134 00:09:03,874 --> 00:09:08,879 - A little late in the new year, perhaps. - Better late than never. 135 00:09:10,181 --> 00:09:13,117 May we know what they are, Arthur? 136 00:09:13,351 --> 00:09:15,787 Why not? 137 00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,857 One. 138 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,993 To travel to the Continent as soon as my health permits. 139 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,028 - Very wise. - I think so. 140 00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:24,798 Two. 141 00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:28,036 To look for a country house where I may repair each summer... 142 00:09:28,269 --> 00:09:30,236 ...without having to cross the Channel. 143 00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:33,841 - Three. To take more exercise. - Excellent, Arthur. About time, too. 144 00:09:34,076 --> 00:09:37,213 A leaf out of your book, D'Oyly. I must walk more. 145 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,315 And is there a number four? 146 00:09:40,549 --> 00:09:42,952 Yes. 147 00:09:43,186 --> 00:09:47,257 To write no more operas for the Savoy. 148 00:09:50,028 --> 00:09:53,731 - And what is number five? - To fly to the moon in his bed socks! 149 00:09:53,999 --> 00:09:57,103 No, I'm serious. I have to write a grand opera. 150 00:09:57,336 --> 00:09:59,905 People expect it of me. I must not disappoint them. 151 00:10:00,139 --> 00:10:03,409 I cannot waste any more time on these trivial soufflés. 152 00:10:03,677 --> 00:10:07,148 Do you know I haven't written a symphony for over 20 years? 153 00:10:07,382 --> 00:10:10,919 Not an unprofitable 20 years, if I may say so. 154 00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,553 Arthur. 155 00:10:12,788 --> 00:10:15,791 If you would learn to organise your time more efficiently... 156 00:10:16,024 --> 00:10:17,859 ...you could do everything you wished. 157 00:10:18,094 --> 00:10:22,032 My time is finite, Helen. I must fill it with that which is important to me. 158 00:10:22,266 --> 00:10:25,869 Is not the Savoy Theatre important to you? 159 00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:29,541 This work with Gilbert is quite simply killing me. 160 00:10:29,775 --> 00:10:33,111 Working with Gilbert would kill anybody. 161 00:10:33,346 --> 00:10:37,117 Is your contract with D'Oyly and Mr Gilbert not important to you? 162 00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:39,652 But our present concern is your health. 163 00:10:39,919 --> 00:10:42,121 You must go to the South of France and recover. 164 00:10:42,356 --> 00:10:45,592 We can discuss this on your return. 165 00:10:45,826 --> 00:10:47,395 I shall recover, D'Oyly. 166 00:10:47,629 --> 00:10:49,998 And I shall return. 167 00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:54,036 But there will be nothing to discuss. 168 00:10:54,537 --> 00:10:56,405 Did you dine at the Beefsteak Club? 169 00:10:56,639 --> 00:10:59,643 Yes. Somewhat unsatisfactory. 170 00:10:59,877 --> 00:11:01,711 Oh. 171 00:11:01,945 --> 00:11:04,181 Well, you missed Mrs Judd's rabbit curry. 172 00:11:04,415 --> 00:11:08,019 One gets the impression that everyone is snickering behind one's back. 173 00:11:08,253 --> 00:11:10,856 Perhaps you could have some for tomorrow's lunch. 174 00:11:11,123 --> 00:11:14,594 The king of Topsy-Turvydom. 175 00:11:14,828 --> 00:11:18,298 Humiliating. 176 00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:22,869 You look a little uncomfortable. 177 00:11:23,103 --> 00:11:25,506 I'm comfortable enough. 178 00:11:25,740 --> 00:11:27,575 I watched a bit from the wings. 179 00:11:27,843 --> 00:11:30,145 - Oh, did you? - The first act. 180 00:11:30,378 --> 00:11:32,413 Seemed to be going well, surprisingly. 181 00:11:32,682 --> 00:11:36,153 There! You see? 182 00:11:41,258 --> 00:11:42,994 Would you like me to read to you? 183 00:11:43,228 --> 00:11:45,563 No, thank you. I'll leave you. 184 00:11:45,796 --> 00:11:47,665 You must be tired. 185 00:11:47,899 --> 00:11:49,700 No, I'm not in the slightest. 186 00:11:49,935 --> 00:11:51,803 Wrong of me to unburden myself on you. 187 00:11:52,037 --> 00:11:55,741 Don't be silly. That's why I'm here. 188 00:11:56,076 --> 00:11:59,112 Come and talk to your Kitty. 189 00:11:59,346 --> 00:12:03,684 Sometimes one wonders why one bothers. 190 00:12:03,951 --> 00:12:07,288 They say jump... you jump. 191 00:12:07,522 --> 00:12:11,126 - Good night, my dear. - Good night. 192 00:13:16,570 --> 00:13:19,807 Lady Colin is endeavouring to persuade us to take up smoking. 193 00:13:20,041 --> 00:13:22,643 She's writing an article for The Saturday Review. 194 00:13:22,877 --> 00:13:25,514 She proposes that nicotine is a gift from the gods... 195 00:13:25,747 --> 00:13:28,583 ...and if men may benefit from its soothing qualities... 196 00:13:28,852 --> 00:13:31,721 ...why, then, may women not also? 197 00:13:31,955 --> 00:13:33,956 My poor daughter now believes that... 198 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:37,961 ...smoking is an extension of the communion... 199 00:13:38,195 --> 00:13:40,063 ...between a woman and her husband. 200 00:13:40,331 --> 00:13:43,602 - Will she smoke on her wedding day? 201 00:13:43,836 --> 00:13:45,636 Heaven forfend! 202 00:13:45,870 --> 00:13:48,439 Lady Colin is... irresistible. 203 00:13:48,674 --> 00:13:51,311 She cannot conceive why the Irish are starving... 204 00:13:51,545 --> 00:13:55,048 ...when there's "lots of good fish in the sea". 205 00:13:55,281 --> 00:13:57,116 She most probably has a point. 206 00:13:57,351 --> 00:13:59,554 - Oh, there's good news from Dublin. - Mmm? 207 00:13:59,788 --> 00:14:02,491 The Churchills "are" to return to London. 208 00:14:02,724 --> 00:14:04,559 Forgiven, but not forgotten. 209 00:14:04,794 --> 00:14:08,263 I do hope so. 210 00:14:08,964 --> 00:14:11,601 Jenny says Winston is 11, covered in freckles... 211 00:14:11,835 --> 00:14:15,838 ...and has a total disdain for authority. 212 00:14:20,879 --> 00:14:22,713 Mmm. 213 00:14:22,948 --> 00:14:25,049 I shall miss this fragrance. 214 00:14:25,283 --> 00:14:28,487 Sicilian lemons. 215 00:14:28,721 --> 00:14:33,493 Have you chosen your Beethoven for the Philharmonic Society? 216 00:14:33,727 --> 00:14:35,261 As a matter of fact, I have. 217 00:14:35,529 --> 00:14:36,797 Yes. 218 00:14:37,031 --> 00:14:39,966 - Nº 2? - The Seventh. 219 00:14:40,201 --> 00:14:43,104 - Ah. - More dramatic. 220 00:14:43,371 --> 00:14:46,875 And that is to be your work whilst you're away? 221 00:14:47,109 --> 00:14:51,648 That... and only that. 222 00:14:52,515 --> 00:14:55,152 Will there be room for Mr Gilbert in your baggage? 223 00:14:55,386 --> 00:14:58,122 Certainly not. He's far too large. 224 00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,791 Food for thought. 225 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,895 Ce n'est pas á moi de dire. 226 00:15:04,129 --> 00:15:06,733 Indeed not. 227 00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:09,602 Which train will you catch? 228 00:15:09,835 --> 00:15:13,307 The tidal train. 229 00:15:13,674 --> 00:15:15,508 Up at seven. 230 00:15:15,742 --> 00:15:18,746 Arriver á Paris á 3:30? 231 00:15:19,014 --> 00:15:21,317 Á peu prés. 232 00:15:21,551 --> 00:15:25,054 How will you spend your first night of liberty? 233 00:15:25,288 --> 00:15:27,122 I shall take some exercise. 234 00:15:27,356 --> 00:15:30,158 Hmm! 235 00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:48,948 La poupée de Paris, alors! 236 00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,550 ♪ Les oiseaux 237 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:57,692 ♪ Dans la charmille 238 00:16:05,568 --> 00:16:08,237 C'est émouvant! 239 00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:10,272 Whoo! 240 00:16:16,713 --> 00:16:19,417 Allez, battez! 241 00:16:27,294 --> 00:16:29,696 C'est mes cuisses! 242 00:16:29,929 --> 00:16:33,533 Plus de cuisses! 243 00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:41,676 Whoo! 244 00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:47,884 Comment vous appelez-vous? 245 00:16:48,117 --> 00:16:51,754 Voilá Mademoiselle Fromage, monsieur. 246 00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:54,525 Oui, c'est vrai. 247 00:16:54,659 --> 00:16:57,328 Quelle sorte de fromage? 248 00:16:57,562 --> 00:16:58,830 Peut-ìtre un fromage suisse? 249 00:16:59,098 --> 00:17:00,031 Oui, oui! 250 00:17:00,298 --> 00:17:02,867 Avec des petits trous? 251 00:17:04,871 --> 00:17:06,439 Si je peux vous embrasser... 252 00:17:06,673 --> 00:17:09,409 Et vous aussi. 253 00:17:14,948 --> 00:17:16,816 ♪ This helmet I suppose 254 00:17:17,051 --> 00:17:19,354 ♪ Was meant to ward off blows 255 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:22,523 ♪ It's very hot and weighs a lot 256 00:17:22,757 --> 00:17:24,493 ♪ As many a guardsman knows 257 00:17:24,728 --> 00:17:27,564 ♪ As many a guardsman knows 258 00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:30,434 ♪ As many a guardsman knows 259 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,602 ♪ As many a guardsman knows 260 00:17:32,836 --> 00:17:35,640 ♪ So off 261 00:17:35,874 --> 00:17:38,676 ♪ So off that helmet goes 262 00:17:38,911 --> 00:17:41,013 ♪ Yes, yes, yes! 263 00:17:41,247 --> 00:17:44,150 ♪ So off that helmet goes 264 00:17:44,417 --> 00:17:46,652 ♪ This tight-fitting cuirass 265 00:17:46,886 --> 00:17:48,755 ♪ Is but a useless mass 266 00:17:49,023 --> 00:17:51,926 ♪ It's made of steel and weighs a deal 267 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,061 ♪ This tight-fitting cuirass 268 00:17:54,296 --> 00:17:56,765 ♪ Is but a useless mass 269 00:17:56,999 --> 00:18:00,201 ♪ A man is but an ass 270 00:18:00,435 --> 00:18:02,738 ♪ Who fights in a cuirass 271 00:18:02,972 --> 00:18:05,642 ♪ So off 272 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,977 ♪ So off goes that cuirass 273 00:18:08,211 --> 00:18:11,248 ♪ Yes, yes, yes 274 00:18:11,482 --> 00:18:14,085 ♪ So off goes that cuirass 275 00:18:14,318 --> 00:18:16,487 ♪ Behold! 276 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:20,960 My voice. My voice - I've strained my voice. 277 00:18:21,194 --> 00:18:23,061 I've been trying too hard. 278 00:18:23,295 --> 00:18:25,731 The smaller the house, the greater the effort. 279 00:18:25,965 --> 00:18:28,735 I'm very cross with myself. I should know better. 280 00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:32,573 One's knocking one's pipes out in a vain attempt to elicit a response... 281 00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:37,245 ...from three colonial bishops, two elderly ladies and an intoxicated costermonger! 282 00:18:37,478 --> 00:18:40,482 They're roasting in their own lard, like the Christmas goose. 283 00:18:40,716 --> 00:18:42,818 And the costermonger left at the interval. 284 00:18:43,052 --> 00:18:44,554 - Did he? - Mm. 285 00:18:44,821 --> 00:18:47,491 Ha! A man of infinite taste. Clearly! 286 00:18:47,724 --> 00:18:49,793 Will you take a wee gargle of my salt water? 287 00:18:50,061 --> 00:18:52,796 No, thank you. It would put me in mind of my boyhood. 288 00:18:53,064 --> 00:18:54,699 Mm. Do forgive me. 289 00:18:54,932 --> 00:18:58,370 Not at all. 290 00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:01,541 I fear that dear Mr Gilbert has run out of ideas. 291 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:04,143 - No. - He doesn't know what to do with me! 292 00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,612 Ponder this. 293 00:19:05,846 --> 00:19:08,281 He thrusts me into tight-fitting pots and pails... 294 00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:10,450 ...and poaches me like a fucking haddock! 295 00:19:10,685 --> 00:19:13,020 Forgive my Anglo-Saxon, Mr Butt. Have a biscuit. 296 00:19:13,254 --> 00:19:16,123 Thank you, sir. I'll take one 'ome with me for me supper. 297 00:19:16,358 --> 00:19:18,193 Dickie, it's just this heat. 298 00:19:18,460 --> 00:19:21,396 It addles the noodles. It happened to me in Milan frequently. 299 00:19:21,665 --> 00:19:24,334 Ah, Milano. Bellissimo. 300 00:19:24,567 --> 00:19:28,039 The heat less hellish. 301 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,476 I am humiliated. 302 00:19:32,743 --> 00:19:34,578 One might as well be in the chorus. 303 00:19:34,813 --> 00:19:37,315 Away wi' you, you wee monkey! 304 00:19:37,582 --> 00:19:39,117 Alas, no! 305 00:19:39,385 --> 00:19:43,556 The reign of the Emperor Gilbert is all but at an end. 306 00:19:43,824 --> 00:19:46,493 I consider this to be his best piece so far. 307 00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:50,064 With all due respect, Durward, your romantic opinion may be informed... 308 00:19:50,298 --> 00:19:54,234 ...by the fact that you take a rather good role, in which you are "trés splendide". 309 00:19:54,503 --> 00:19:57,339 - Mm, grazie. - Prego. 310 00:19:57,573 --> 00:20:00,041 But I consider "Princess Ida" to be their worst. 311 00:20:00,275 --> 00:20:01,977 - Do you? - I do. 312 00:20:02,211 --> 00:20:04,848 Where is the panache of "Pirates"? 313 00:20:05,082 --> 00:20:06,984 The wit of the "Pinafore"? 314 00:20:07,219 --> 00:20:10,054 From such a face and form as mine... 315 00:20:10,288 --> 00:20:13,058 ...the noblest sentiments... 316 00:20:13,292 --> 00:20:15,326 ...sound like the black utterances... 317 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,763 ...of a depraved imagination. 318 00:20:17,997 --> 00:20:19,566 It was very good, you know. 319 00:20:19,799 --> 00:20:22,202 - Yes, Dickie. - Do forgive me, dear boy. 320 00:20:22,468 --> 00:20:24,704 I don't wish to be the prophet of doom. 321 00:20:24,938 --> 00:20:26,773 But one has the distinct feeling... 322 00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:32,880 ...that the sword of Damocles hovers ominously over the Savoy Theatre. 323 00:20:36,886 --> 00:20:38,286 How was Temple? 324 00:20:38,521 --> 00:20:41,291 Oh. Rather disgruntled, I fear. 325 00:20:41,525 --> 00:20:44,128 As though he wasn't quite enjoying himself. 326 00:20:44,361 --> 00:20:46,262 His heart wasn't in it. 327 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:49,534 No. One can usually rely on Mr Temple, can't one? 328 00:20:49,768 --> 00:20:52,703 Mmm. 329 00:20:52,937 --> 00:20:57,042 And the ladies' chorus look as though they could all do with a hearty meal. 330 00:20:57,310 --> 00:20:59,045 It's this infernal heat. 331 00:20:59,312 --> 00:21:03,750 One still has to feed oneself, Willie, whatever the weather. 332 00:21:03,984 --> 00:21:06,053 And the audience were fanning themselves... 333 00:21:06,287 --> 00:21:08,188 ...with their programmes and libretti. 334 00:21:08,423 --> 00:21:12,227 Most distracting when one is striving to concentrate on the performance... 335 00:21:12,461 --> 00:21:15,965 ...to have in the corner of one's eye this confounded flapping! 336 00:21:16,231 --> 00:21:18,300 Makes one want to stand up and shout! 337 00:21:18,534 --> 00:21:21,572 - I trust you restrained yourself. - Of course I did, Willie. 338 00:21:21,805 --> 00:21:23,973 - More tea, ma'am? - No, thank you, Pidgeon. 339 00:21:24,208 --> 00:21:25,743 - Coffee, sir? - Yes. 340 00:21:25,977 --> 00:21:28,813 Pidgeon. Did my father say anything else? 341 00:21:29,047 --> 00:21:32,350 Nothing I should care to repeat, sir. 342 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:35,421 There were more people on the stage than in the audience. 343 00:21:35,656 --> 00:21:38,123 Did you count them? 344 00:21:38,391 --> 00:21:42,129 - No, of course I didn't. - Then how do you know? 345 00:21:42,363 --> 00:21:44,231 I was speaking metaphorically. 346 00:21:44,465 --> 00:21:46,299 You were exaggerating. 347 00:21:46,534 --> 00:21:49,337 - Anything else, sir? - No, thank you. 348 00:21:49,571 --> 00:21:52,640 Oh, horror! 349 00:21:52,908 --> 00:21:54,342 Horror! 350 00:21:54,576 --> 00:21:57,614 Horror! 351 00:21:57,848 --> 00:22:01,351 Willie. 352 00:22:02,953 --> 00:22:04,788 - Come in. 353 00:22:05,022 --> 00:22:07,991 - Good morning, my dear. - Good morning, Richard. 354 00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:11,263 - Another scorcher. - The everlasting bonfire. 355 00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:15,601 - Good morning, guv'nor. - Morning, Barker. 356 00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:19,138 Thank you. 357 00:22:19,373 --> 00:22:22,142 - Shocking. - Most alarming. 358 00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:24,746 A mediocre evening. 359 00:22:24,980 --> 00:22:26,814 - Three fainters. - In the audience? 360 00:22:27,048 --> 00:22:28,882 I fear so. All women. 361 00:22:29,151 --> 00:22:31,386 - Any absentees? - Four chorus members. 362 00:22:31,620 --> 00:22:35,624 - With doctors' notes? - Yes. 363 00:22:35,725 --> 00:22:39,228 And... how are the returns? 364 00:22:40,264 --> 00:22:44,735 - Oh, good grief! - It's an improvement on Monday. 365 00:22:47,305 --> 00:22:49,741 Seven dead horses in the Strand this morning... 366 00:22:49,975 --> 00:22:52,011 Well, one down by Trafalgar Square. 367 00:22:52,244 --> 00:22:54,813 How can you sit there in your hat and coat, Barker? 368 00:22:55,047 --> 00:22:57,584 I'm too hot to remove them, Mr Carte. 369 00:22:56,918 --> 00:23:00,554 - This is developing into a crisis. - Indeed it is. 370 00:23:00,788 --> 00:23:04,592 - A man has a family to support. - I fear we shall all have to "pray" for rain. 371 00:23:04,825 --> 00:23:07,828 If it's any consolation, every theatre in town is afflicted. 372 00:23:08,062 --> 00:23:10,032 Even the Gaiety, graced as it is with... 373 00:23:10,266 --> 00:23:13,869 ...Madame Bernhardt's execrable Lady Macbeth. 38 per cent. 374 00:23:14,103 --> 00:23:16,505 - Who told you that, Barker? - Hollingshead. 375 00:23:16,739 --> 00:23:20,010 I played a game of cricket with him this morning at Coram's Fields. 376 00:23:20,244 --> 00:23:23,514 - In this heat? - Er, yes, madam, but not in this attire. 377 00:23:23,748 --> 00:23:24,648 Good. 378 00:23:24,916 --> 00:23:27,451 - Mr Hollingshead told you a fib, Barker. - Indeed? 379 00:23:27,686 --> 00:23:30,389 He's only playing to 29 per cent. 380 00:23:30,623 --> 00:23:33,893 Mr Hollingshead has no need to lie to "me", Mr Carte. 381 00:23:34,127 --> 00:23:37,597 Mr Hollingshead has much need to lie to everybody, Mr Barker. 382 00:23:37,831 --> 00:23:41,768 - Especially you. - Gentlemen...! 383 00:23:48,109 --> 00:23:50,412 Are you there? 384 00:23:50,646 --> 00:23:52,547 Yes. 385 00:23:52,782 --> 00:23:56,253 8505. 386 00:24:04,329 --> 00:24:05,597 Hello! 387 00:24:05,831 --> 00:24:08,366 - Is that you, Mr Gilbert? - Hello! 388 00:24:08,634 --> 00:24:11,436 - Hello? - Good morning, Barker. 389 00:24:11,670 --> 00:24:14,139 This is Barker speaking! 390 00:24:14,374 --> 00:24:16,542 - Gilbert here! - Good morning, Mr Gilbert. 391 00:24:16,776 --> 00:24:19,246 How are we today, Barker? 392 00:24:19,513 --> 00:24:23,250 Are we popular, or are we mad? 393 00:24:23,584 --> 00:24:26,287 Er... We are popular! 394 00:24:26,555 --> 00:24:27,889 Very good. Carry on. 395 00:24:28,157 --> 00:24:32,227 Here is your message for today! 396 00:24:32,695 --> 00:24:36,032 U, U, plus ten shillings and sixpence! 397 00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:38,734 - Can you repeat that, please?! - Yes. 398 00:24:38,969 --> 00:24:40,838 U... U! 399 00:24:41,072 --> 00:24:42,974 So that's U for udder... 400 00:24:43,241 --> 00:24:46,277 ...U for udder, plus ten shillings and sixpence. 401 00:24:46,511 --> 00:24:49,047 So you have two udders, Barker! 402 00:24:49,315 --> 00:24:52,984 - Er... yes. - I always suspected as much! 403 00:24:56,590 --> 00:24:58,192 - Thank you. - Thank you! 404 00:24:58,426 --> 00:25:01,295 - Goodbye! - Goodbye, Mr Gilbert! 405 00:25:01,529 --> 00:25:03,832 I'm going to hang up the telephone now! 406 00:25:04,066 --> 00:25:07,536 In... Indeed you are, sir. 407 00:25:16,379 --> 00:25:19,984 Well, I'm, er... going out to seek a little Italian hokey-pokey... 408 00:25:20,218 --> 00:25:23,821 ...and I care not who knows it. - Thank you, Barker. 409 00:25:24,055 --> 00:25:27,459 I shall not return with any for you, sir, because it would melt. 410 00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:30,996 Au revoir. 411 00:25:32,232 --> 00:25:35,969 I owe you an apology, Kitty. I fear you weren't exaggerating after all. 412 00:25:36,237 --> 00:25:38,639 Apology accepted. Thank you, Willie. 413 00:25:38,873 --> 00:25:43,311 Schwenck speaks to the Savoy every morning in code, Father-in-law... 414 00:25:43,546 --> 00:25:47,016 ...just in case the telephone operator should be eavesdropping. 415 00:25:47,283 --> 00:25:50,420 One might as well open the window and shout down the street. 416 00:25:50,654 --> 00:25:54,491 - That will be more comfortable for you. - Sheer waste of time. 417 00:25:54,758 --> 00:25:58,564 It will only result in the further erosion of the written word. 418 00:25:58,797 --> 00:26:00,630 Would you care to sit down now? 419 00:26:00,865 --> 00:26:04,870 Er... er... thank you. 420 00:26:06,072 --> 00:26:09,876 - Ah, there you are, Pidgeon. - Ma'am. 421 00:26:10,844 --> 00:26:14,615 I do apologise, sir, that neither I nor Schwenck was here... 422 00:26:14,882 --> 00:26:17,384 ...to welcome you on your arrival last night. 423 00:26:17,618 --> 00:26:21,356 I do not appreciate being left upon the doorstep like a hawker. 424 00:26:21,590 --> 00:26:25,762 If you'll only press the electric bell, Father, you'll be admitted at once. 425 00:26:25,995 --> 00:26:28,397 - Is that not so, Pidgeon? - Indeed it is, sir. 426 00:26:28,631 --> 00:26:33,336 I have no intention of placing my life in danger, sir! 427 00:26:33,604 --> 00:26:36,308 How many doorstep deaths have we had thus far, Pidgeon? 428 00:26:36,541 --> 00:26:38,508 Er, none to my certain knowledge, sir. 429 00:26:38,742 --> 00:26:41,579 There you are, Father. The odds appear to be in your favour. 430 00:26:41,814 --> 00:26:43,683 - Anything else, sir? - No, thank you. 431 00:26:43,916 --> 00:26:46,518 Would you tell Mrs Judd Dr Gilbert will join us for lunch? 432 00:26:46,752 --> 00:26:48,054 Certainly, ma'am. 433 00:26:48,321 --> 00:26:52,258 You know, Father-in-law, that you are most welcome in our home... 434 00:26:52,525 --> 00:26:53,959 ...at any time. 435 00:26:54,194 --> 00:26:58,232 But, please, do try to inform us of your intention to visit. 436 00:26:58,466 --> 00:27:01,301 A father should not have to seek permission... 437 00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:03,337 ...to visit his own son! 438 00:27:03,605 --> 00:27:06,541 The son shouldn't be expected to be clairvoyant! 439 00:27:06,776 --> 00:27:10,313 Who does he think I am? Harlequin? 440 00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:13,718 Would you excuse me? 441 00:27:14,218 --> 00:27:18,789 I take it that you will be joining us for lunch, Father-in-law? 442 00:27:19,023 --> 00:27:24,062 I-I have no idea where I shall be taking luncheon... 443 00:27:24,296 --> 00:27:26,832 ...thank you. 444 00:27:27,067 --> 00:27:31,070 Well, perhaps Schwenck can persuade you. 445 00:27:32,506 --> 00:27:34,975 Take lunch with us, Father. 446 00:27:35,243 --> 00:27:38,713 We shall enjoy your company. 447 00:27:41,984 --> 00:27:43,786 Am I to understand, sir... 448 00:27:44,020 --> 00:27:46,855 ...that you have been in communication with your mother? 449 00:27:47,124 --> 00:27:50,594 No, Father, not for some considerable time, I'm glad to say. 450 00:27:50,828 --> 00:27:53,230 You are a liar, sir. 451 00:27:53,464 --> 00:27:54,865 No, sir! 452 00:27:55,099 --> 00:27:57,301 I can assure you, Papa, that the last person... 453 00:27:57,569 --> 00:27:59,905 ...with whom I wish to have any communication... 454 00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:02,006 ...is your estranged wife! 455 00:28:02,241 --> 00:28:05,077 The vicious woman who bore me into this ridiculous world! 456 00:28:05,311 --> 00:28:08,514 How dare you, sir! Have you no respect? 457 00:28:08,748 --> 00:28:10,549 Don't misunderstand me, Father. 458 00:28:10,784 --> 00:28:13,487 Nobody respects her more than I do, and I can't stand her. 459 00:28:13,721 --> 00:28:15,389 She is a veritable gorgon! 460 00:28:15,623 --> 00:28:19,027 She is indeed! And she has chosen her own path. 461 00:28:19,261 --> 00:28:22,265 And in so doing, she has turned her back on yourself and myself. 462 00:28:22,498 --> 00:28:27,871 And for that small mercy, we should both of us be eternally grateful. 463 00:28:35,514 --> 00:28:37,514 Those terrors... 464 00:28:37,748 --> 00:28:41,553 ...that visit me in the night. 465 00:28:41,787 --> 00:28:43,622 They can never be vanquished. 466 00:28:43,891 --> 00:28:46,960 Ah! Insomnia. I suffer from it myself. 467 00:28:47,193 --> 00:28:49,028 But it is she who sends them. 468 00:28:49,263 --> 00:28:51,832 I know it is she! 469 00:28:52,066 --> 00:28:54,969 I know not what heathen oracle she consults... 470 00:28:55,203 --> 00:28:59,408 ...what filthy familiar she employs. 471 00:28:59,641 --> 00:29:04,581 I know that... they will come. 472 00:29:05,549 --> 00:29:08,252 Wh... Wh... What are these walls? 473 00:29:55,707 --> 00:29:57,141 £5,000? 474 00:29:57,410 --> 00:30:00,746 The last ten shares. Worth every penny. 475 00:30:01,012 --> 00:30:02,748 Trust me, Arthur. 476 00:30:02,982 --> 00:30:06,153 I do, D'Oyly. 477 00:30:06,387 --> 00:30:09,924 - What's this? - Pull it. 478 00:30:14,363 --> 00:30:16,765 It's a reservoir pen. It contains its own ink. 479 00:30:16,999 --> 00:30:20,036 Good gracious me! Whatever will they think of next? 480 00:30:20,270 --> 00:30:23,039 Try it. 481 00:30:30,815 --> 00:30:32,884 Now, how long is all this going to take? 482 00:30:33,118 --> 00:30:34,953 Two years. 483 00:30:35,188 --> 00:30:37,723 I shall begin the foundations next month. 484 00:30:37,957 --> 00:30:40,993 Thank you. 485 00:30:42,028 --> 00:30:43,630 To the Savoy Hotel. 486 00:30:43,864 --> 00:30:46,967 The Savoy Hotel. 487 00:30:47,201 --> 00:30:50,103 With its 70 bathrooms. 488 00:30:50,371 --> 00:30:52,373 The builder was much bemused. 489 00:30:52,606 --> 00:30:55,543 "What's the point of 'aving a bathroom to every bedroom?" 490 00:30:55,811 --> 00:30:57,947 "Who's gonna be staying there? Amphibians?" 491 00:30:58,213 --> 00:31:01,751 D'Oyly, I can't tell you how delightful it is to see you here in Paris. 492 00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:05,389 - You're looking much better. - A new man! 493 00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:08,758 Monte Carlo was most profitable. 494 00:31:08,992 --> 00:31:12,864 Florence was hideously hot. I sampled the chartreuse at Certosa. 495 00:31:13,131 --> 00:31:15,867 The monks were uncommonly charming. 496 00:31:16,134 --> 00:31:20,806 The train journey through the St Gotthard Pass is spectacular. 497 00:31:21,041 --> 00:31:23,477 You must go. And Lucerne... 498 00:31:23,711 --> 00:31:25,312 Tranquillity itself. 499 00:31:25,547 --> 00:31:27,415 I walked until I dropped. 500 00:31:27,648 --> 00:31:31,486 Did you receive my letter? 501 00:31:31,586 --> 00:31:33,088 Yes, I did. 502 00:31:33,322 --> 00:31:35,757 Good. 503 00:31:35,992 --> 00:31:38,493 And? 504 00:31:40,229 --> 00:31:42,064 It came to Brussels. 505 00:31:42,333 --> 00:31:44,335 I "sent" it to Brussels, Arthur. 506 00:31:44,568 --> 00:31:48,039 Yes, of course. 507 00:31:48,373 --> 00:31:51,209 Nous sommes prêts. 508 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,523 Vouz avez tué ce pigeon vous-même? 509 00:32:03,758 --> 00:32:07,394 Non, monsieur. Je laisse au bourreau le soin de le faire. 510 00:32:07,628 --> 00:32:10,564 C'est mieux comme ça. 511 00:32:13,936 --> 00:32:17,906 So, what is your position? 512 00:32:20,043 --> 00:32:22,512 Much the same, I'm afraid. 513 00:32:22,779 --> 00:32:25,716 I fully realise, D'Oyly, that you have me under contract. 514 00:32:25,950 --> 00:32:31,522 But I cannot write any more operas for the Savoy. 515 00:32:32,458 --> 00:32:36,363 At least, not of that particular character. 516 00:32:37,930 --> 00:32:40,333 I think you should tell Gilbert. 517 00:32:40,567 --> 00:32:44,604 I shall. The moment I return. 518 00:32:44,838 --> 00:32:45,572 Messieurs... 519 00:32:45,807 --> 00:32:46,841 ... je vous souhaite bon appétit. 520 00:32:47,075 --> 00:32:50,578 - Merci. - Merci. 521 00:32:54,650 --> 00:32:56,451 ♪ The reason is not far to find 522 00:32:56,686 --> 00:32:58,454 ♪ When we are near 523 00:32:58,688 --> 00:33:03,526 ♪ For though they say that love is blind 524 00:33:03,761 --> 00:33:05,095 ♪ Ah, never fear 525 00:33:05,329 --> 00:33:06,964 ♪ Ah, ah, ah 526 00:33:07,198 --> 00:33:09,801 ♪ We see our destinies entwined 527 00:33:10,034 --> 00:33:12,069 ♪ In noonday clear 528 00:33:12,338 --> 00:33:17,577 ♪ And love is over all 529 00:33:17,810 --> 00:33:20,447 ♪ When shadows fall 530 00:33:20,681 --> 00:33:24,351 ♪ And thou art 531 00:33:24,618 --> 00:33:28,556 ♪ Here 532 00:33:46,010 --> 00:33:49,180 - Il est bien, Clothilde. - "Oui, madame." You are a tonic for him. 533 00:33:49,415 --> 00:33:51,249 "Merci." Cherish him. 534 00:33:51,483 --> 00:33:54,352 Of course, "madame". 535 00:33:54,621 --> 00:33:57,024 Oh! Mrs Ronalds. What an unexpected pleasure. 536 00:33:57,258 --> 00:33:59,092 - Mr Gilbert, how are you? - How are you? 537 00:33:59,327 --> 00:34:00,927 - Quite well. - I'm so pleased. 538 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,998 - He's in excellent spirits. - I look forward to his tales. 539 00:34:04,233 --> 00:34:05,934 - Good day. - Good day to you. 540 00:34:06,168 --> 00:34:08,002 - Au revoir. - Madame. 541 00:34:08,236 --> 00:34:10,238 - Ça va, Clothilde? - Ça va, monsieur? 542 00:34:10,472 --> 00:34:12,207 - It is hot, no? - Yes. 543 00:34:12,442 --> 00:34:14,177 - He awaits. - Thank you. 544 00:34:14,411 --> 00:34:16,245 How was your crossing, Sullivan? 545 00:34:16,478 --> 00:34:18,313 Mercifully smooth, thank you. 546 00:34:18,582 --> 00:34:22,052 As smooth as D'Oyly Carte? 547 00:34:22,319 --> 00:34:24,955 No, not quite, Gilbert! 548 00:34:25,223 --> 00:34:27,058 - Lump sugar? - Thank you, no. 549 00:34:27,292 --> 00:34:30,395 Oh, please do. I found it in Lucerne. It's delicious. 550 00:34:30,662 --> 00:34:34,133 If you insist. 551 00:34:35,803 --> 00:34:39,305 - Mmm! Very good. - Good. 552 00:34:41,375 --> 00:34:44,379 - Is Lucy well? - Oh, she's in fine fettle. 553 00:34:44,612 --> 00:34:47,415 She sends you her love and trusts you are in good health. 554 00:34:47,649 --> 00:34:49,518 Thank you. Please reciprocate. 555 00:34:49,785 --> 00:34:51,620 Oh, of course. 556 00:34:51,854 --> 00:34:53,889 Now, what's this Carte's been telling me? 557 00:34:54,123 --> 00:34:55,692 Oh, dear. 558 00:34:55,926 --> 00:34:58,261 - You can't be serious. - I'm afraid I am. 559 00:34:58,495 --> 00:35:02,699 So you've torn up our contract into tiny pieces and cast it to the four winds? 560 00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:06,405 - Don't be absurd! - That would be the implication. 561 00:35:06,639 --> 00:35:08,506 I hardly think so. 562 00:35:08,740 --> 00:35:11,577 What else is one to deduce? 563 00:35:11,812 --> 00:35:13,646 Oh, Gilbert. 564 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:16,215 There's so much that I have yet to do for music... 565 00:35:16,449 --> 00:35:18,251 ...for my queen, for my country. 566 00:35:18,485 --> 00:35:22,422 Even if God were to grant me two days for every one I have left on this earth... 567 00:35:22,657 --> 00:35:25,260 ...I still should not be able to achieve everything. 568 00:35:25,493 --> 00:35:28,597 Come, come, Sullivan, you're a genius. 569 00:35:28,865 --> 00:35:30,865 I merely bask in your reflected glory. 570 00:35:31,099 --> 00:35:32,835 Oh, Gilbert, please. 571 00:35:33,103 --> 00:35:38,575 But I'm somewhat at a loss. What is the precise nature of your dilemma? 572 00:35:38,676 --> 00:35:42,180 How shall I put this? 573 00:35:44,216 --> 00:35:47,852 My tunes, my orchestrations, are becoming repetitious. 574 00:35:48,087 --> 00:35:51,691 I've rung all the changes possible in the way of variety of rhythm. 575 00:35:51,924 --> 00:35:53,859 I have such respect for your words... 576 00:35:54,093 --> 00:35:58,465 ...that I have continually kept down my music in order that they can be heard. 577 00:35:58,699 --> 00:36:00,533 It's no more than word-setting. 578 00:36:00,768 --> 00:36:03,839 Sullivan, I have always subordinated my words to your music. 579 00:36:04,106 --> 00:36:05,841 Oh, I think not. 580 00:36:06,108 --> 00:36:08,843 You've often expatiated on the thorough good feeling... 581 00:36:09,077 --> 00:36:11,947 ...with which we've worked together. - Unquestionably. 582 00:36:12,181 --> 00:36:16,453 But I want a chance for my music to act in its own proper sphere. 583 00:36:16,687 --> 00:36:19,056 It does. It always has and it always will. 584 00:36:19,290 --> 00:36:23,561 It must be allowed to intensify the emotional depth not only of your words... 585 00:36:23,828 --> 00:36:28,802 ...but of the situation, which can be humorous, dramatic... What you will. 586 00:36:29,068 --> 00:36:30,936 Of course. It goes without saying. 587 00:36:31,170 --> 00:36:33,173 You teach me the ABC of my profession. 588 00:36:33,407 --> 00:36:37,243 Now. Would you care for me to read this to you or not? 589 00:36:37,477 --> 00:36:41,249 - Where is it set? - In the Sicilian mountains. 590 00:36:41,483 --> 00:36:46,455 Plenty of scope there for Gypsy music, one might suggest. 591 00:36:46,588 --> 00:36:49,660 Now, the local alchemist is killed in an explosion... 592 00:36:49,893 --> 00:36:53,863 ...and there, amongst his effects, a chorus of villagers discover a potion. 593 00:36:54,098 --> 00:36:55,600 - Magic, no doubt. - Indeed. 594 00:36:55,866 --> 00:36:57,467 I thought as much. 595 00:36:57,701 --> 00:37:01,639 The effect of this magic potion is to transform the character who takes it... 596 00:37:01,906 --> 00:37:04,842 ...into whatever he or she is pretending to be. 597 00:37:05,111 --> 00:37:08,147 - You and your world of Topsy-Turvydom! 598 00:37:08,381 --> 00:37:10,216 In 1881, it was a magic coin. 599 00:37:10,450 --> 00:37:12,753 And before that, it was a magic lozenge. 600 00:37:12,987 --> 00:37:18,125 And in 1877, it was an elixir. 601 00:37:19,026 --> 00:37:20,929 In this instance, it is a magic potion. 602 00:37:21,163 --> 00:37:23,030 "Act One. Scene: 603 00:37:23,265 --> 00:37:25,768 ...a mountain inn on a picturesque Sicilian pass." 604 00:37:26,002 --> 00:37:30,172 "A range of mountains with Etna in the distance." 605 00:37:42,621 --> 00:37:45,790 - I've made you some beef tea, Mr Gilbert. - Take it away. 606 00:37:46,025 --> 00:37:48,861 You've not had anything since yesterday afternoon, sir. 607 00:37:49,095 --> 00:37:52,098 - Take it away. - You can't work on an empty stomach. 608 00:37:52,333 --> 00:37:55,602 Can't work at all, Mrs Judd, if I'm being constantly pestered... 609 00:37:55,870 --> 00:37:59,940 ...by interfering women with hot beef tea, cold compresses, mustard poultices... 610 00:38:00,175 --> 00:38:02,577 ...and excessive attacks of philanthropic zeal. 611 00:38:02,811 --> 00:38:05,849 - How's my wounded soldier? - He's not doing as he's told, madam. 612 00:38:06,116 --> 00:38:07,950 Oh, isn't he now? 613 00:38:08,184 --> 00:38:11,854 Willie, are you intending to visit the dentist tomorrow? 614 00:38:12,088 --> 00:38:15,458 - You really... - Oh, for God's sake! You pair of harpies! 615 00:38:15,693 --> 00:38:19,664 Get out! I'm working! 616 00:38:29,909 --> 00:38:33,346 - Willie. - Madam... 617 00:38:33,447 --> 00:38:37,418 I had rather spend an afternoon in a Turkish bath with my mother... 618 00:38:37,652 --> 00:38:41,222 ...than visit the dratted dentist. 619 00:38:42,892 --> 00:38:45,528 Very well. 620 00:38:45,794 --> 00:38:49,266 Good night! 621 00:38:59,777 --> 00:39:04,249 - She's being just a little bit tricky. 622 00:39:04,851 --> 00:39:08,354 She's coming. 623 00:39:09,623 --> 00:39:11,458 Well done, Mr Gilbert! 624 00:39:11,692 --> 00:39:13,393 Rinse. 625 00:39:13,627 --> 00:39:16,797 She's a beauty. 626 00:39:17,031 --> 00:39:20,502 - Open wide. - Wh... What? 627 00:39:20,736 --> 00:39:25,207 - Bite... really hard. 628 00:39:26,008 --> 00:39:29,212 I must say, my wife and I did find "Princess Ida"... 629 00:39:29,446 --> 00:39:31,783 ...rather too long, don't you know. 630 00:39:34,085 --> 00:39:36,187 Try not to speak, old chap. 631 00:40:58,050 --> 00:41:00,519 I do hope you've enjoyed your evening... 632 00:41:00,753 --> 00:41:06,992 ...but before we say farewell, may I suggest an impromptu? 633 00:41:07,227 --> 00:41:09,931 Mr Walter Simmonds has generously offered... 634 00:41:10,198 --> 00:41:13,669 ...to accompany me on the harmonium! 635 00:41:17,272 --> 00:41:21,678 Now, we have another very young hopeful with us this evening... 636 00:41:21,911 --> 00:41:28,385 ...who has kindly agreed to accompany us with a new composition of his own. 637 00:41:28,619 --> 00:41:32,123 The Lost Chord! 638 00:41:38,764 --> 00:41:40,933 Sir Arthur informed me a few moments ago... 639 00:41:41,201 --> 00:41:44,371 ...that he cannot entirely recall his new piece. 640 00:41:44,637 --> 00:41:48,910 - Merci, madame. 641 00:42:20,814 --> 00:42:24,986 ♪ Seated one day at the organ 642 00:42:25,219 --> 00:42:30,190 ♪ I was weary and ill at ease 643 00:42:30,424 --> 00:42:35,831 ♪ And my fingers wandered idly 644 00:42:36,065 --> 00:42:40,203 ♪ Over the noisy keys 645 00:42:40,437 --> 00:42:45,174 ♪ I know not what I was playing 646 00:42:45,443 --> 00:42:50,181 ♪ Or what I was dreaming then 647 00:42:50,415 --> 00:42:54,954 ♪ But I struck one chord of music 648 00:42:55,188 --> 00:43:00,726 ♪ Like the sound of a great amen 649 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,064 ♪ Like the sound 650 00:43:04,298 --> 00:43:14,509 ♪ Of a great amen 651 00:43:22,519 --> 00:43:23,754 It's ridiculous. 652 00:43:23,988 --> 00:43:26,357 It is. I sent him the thing on Monday of last week. 653 00:43:26,591 --> 00:43:29,927 He could have read it on the same day. At the very least on Tuesday. 654 00:43:30,161 --> 00:43:32,296 Now ten days have passed and not a word. 655 00:43:32,564 --> 00:43:35,201 - This concerns me greatly. - It concerns "me" greatly. 656 00:43:35,434 --> 00:43:38,904 - You'll have to go and see him. - I'll be buggered if I do any such thing! 657 00:43:39,139 --> 00:43:41,509 I present the man with my idea, he rejects it... 658 00:43:41,742 --> 00:43:45,578 ...I respond in detail to his misgivings but answer came there none. 659 00:43:45,846 --> 00:43:49,116 Either he hasn't read it, or he has read it and he doesn't like it. 660 00:43:49,351 --> 00:43:52,687 If he doesn't, he should say so. At least we shall know where we stand. 661 00:43:52,921 --> 00:43:55,724 - Go and see him. - No, Carte! You go and see him. 662 00:43:55,959 --> 00:43:59,429 I've no more shots in my locker. 663 00:43:59,796 --> 00:44:01,631 Sullivan & Gilbert! Who are they? 664 00:44:01,865 --> 00:44:04,034 At least we're going to revive "The Sorcerer". 665 00:44:04,269 --> 00:44:05,903 Only as a stopgap. 666 00:44:06,171 --> 00:44:09,006 - It's breathing space. - It won't run more than three months. 667 00:44:09,240 --> 00:44:11,577 Your unbounded optimism is inspiring, Carte. 668 00:44:11,844 --> 00:44:15,948 I have great confidence in "The Sorcerer", but I'm not in the business of revivals. 669 00:44:16,182 --> 00:44:19,920 You are now. Since you've decided to withdraw the ailing "Princess Ida"... 670 00:44:20,153 --> 00:44:22,355 ...in spite of the cooler weather. 671 00:44:44,381 --> 00:44:47,551 ♪ Sprites of earth and air 672 00:44:47,785 --> 00:44:50,989 ♪ Fiends of flame and fire 673 00:44:51,224 --> 00:44:54,260 ♪ Demon souls come here in shoals 674 00:44:54,526 --> 00:44:58,031 ♪ This fearful deed inspire 675 00:44:58,265 --> 00:45:01,268 ♪ Appear! Appear! 676 00:45:01,502 --> 00:45:04,639 ♪ Appear! 677 00:45:09,612 --> 00:45:14,884 ♪ Good master, we are here! 678 00:45:17,955 --> 00:45:20,958 ♪ Noisome hags of night 679 00:45:21,192 --> 00:45:24,160 ♪ Imps of deadly shade 680 00:45:24,394 --> 00:45:25,996 ♪ Pallid ghosts 681 00:45:26,230 --> 00:45:27,665 ♪ Arise in hosts 682 00:45:27,933 --> 00:45:30,702 ♪ And lend me all your aid 683 00:45:30,970 --> 00:45:32,505 ♪ Appear! 684 00:45:32,772 --> 00:45:34,473 ♪ Appear! 685 00:45:34,707 --> 00:45:37,676 ♪ Appear! 686 00:45:42,684 --> 00:45:47,321 ♪ Good master, we are here! 687 00:45:48,423 --> 00:45:50,526 ♪ Hark, hark, they assemble 688 00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:52,627 ♪ These fiends of the night 689 00:45:52,862 --> 00:45:54,798 ♪ Oh, Alexis, I tremble 690 00:45:55,031 --> 00:45:57,133 ♪ Seek safety in flight! 691 00:45:57,368 --> 00:45:59,436 ♪ Let us fly to a far-off land 692 00:45:59,670 --> 00:46:01,405 ♪ Where peace and plenty dwell 693 00:46:01,639 --> 00:46:03,574 ♪ Where the sigh of the silver strand 694 00:46:03,808 --> 00:46:05,710 ♪ Is echoed in every shell 695 00:46:05,945 --> 00:46:08,112 ♪ To the joys that land will give 696 00:46:08,346 --> 00:46:10,015 ♪ On the wings of Love we'll fly 697 00:46:10,249 --> 00:46:13,586 ♪ In innocence there to live 698 00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:17,791 ♪ In innocence there to die 699 00:46:18,025 --> 00:46:21,563 ♪ In innocence there to live 700 00:46:21,796 --> 00:46:26,067 ♪ There to die 701 00:46:26,334 --> 00:46:28,771 ♪ To live and die 702 00:46:29,005 --> 00:46:31,105 ♪ Too late, too late 703 00:46:31,374 --> 00:46:33,109 ♪ Too late, too late 704 00:46:33,376 --> 00:46:35,111 ♪ That may not be! 705 00:46:35,345 --> 00:46:38,281 ♪ It may not be 706 00:46:38,516 --> 00:46:39,850 ♪ That happy fate 707 00:46:40,084 --> 00:46:42,253 ♪ Is not for thee 708 00:46:42,487 --> 00:46:43,888 ♪ That happy fate 709 00:46:44,122 --> 00:46:49,829 ♪ Is not for thee 710 00:46:51,164 --> 00:46:54,234 ♪ Now, shrivelled hags with poison bags 711 00:46:54,468 --> 00:46:57,805 ♪ Discharge your loathsome loads 712 00:46:58,039 --> 00:47:01,007 ♪ Spit flame and fire, unholy choir 713 00:47:01,242 --> 00:47:04,279 ♪ Belch forth your venom, toads 714 00:47:04,513 --> 00:47:08,017 ♪ Ye demons fell with yelp and yell 715 00:47:08,250 --> 00:47:10,953 ♪ Shed curses far afield 716 00:47:11,187 --> 00:47:15,091 ♪ Ye fiends of night, your filthy blight 717 00:47:15,325 --> 00:47:19,897 ♪ In noisome plenty yield 718 00:47:20,131 --> 00:47:22,565 Number one! 719 00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,404 ♪ It is done! 720 00:47:25,638 --> 00:47:28,440 Number two. 721 00:47:28,674 --> 00:47:30,643 ♪ One too few! 722 00:47:30,877 --> 00:47:34,714 Number three! 723 00:47:36,550 --> 00:47:39,253 ♪ Set us free! Set us free! Our work is done 724 00:47:39,487 --> 00:47:40,588 ♪ Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! 725 00:47:40,856 --> 00:47:45,527 ♪ Ha ha ha haa! 726 00:47:46,362 --> 00:47:48,798 ♪ Let us fly to a far-off land 727 00:47:49,032 --> 00:47:50,567 ♪ Where peace and plenty dwell 728 00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:52,434 ♪ Too late, too late 729 00:47:52,669 --> 00:47:56,307 ♪ Let us fly where the silver strand is echoed in every shell 730 00:47:56,574 --> 00:47:58,408 ♪ Too late, too late 731 00:47:58,643 --> 00:47:59,977 ♪ Let us fly! Let us fly! 732 00:48:00,211 --> 00:48:01,813 ♪ That happy fate 733 00:48:02,047 --> 00:48:07,653 ♪ Let us fly! Let us fly! 734 00:48:13,661 --> 00:48:17,131 - How many today, Jessie? - Only nine, alas! 735 00:48:17,365 --> 00:48:20,135 "Oh, alas!" 736 00:48:20,369 --> 00:48:23,237 I have received none today. 737 00:48:23,471 --> 00:48:25,407 I'm utterly neglected. 738 00:48:25,641 --> 00:48:27,476 Have these, you poor soul! 739 00:48:27,710 --> 00:48:31,881 I don't want your scraps, Jessie Bond. 740 00:48:32,115 --> 00:48:35,119 Too vigorous, Emily. Apply the bandage. 741 00:48:35,353 --> 00:48:38,889 Beg your pardon, Miss Bond. 742 00:48:39,457 --> 00:48:43,362 - Shall I ever find anybody again? - Don't be so gloomy, Leonora. 743 00:48:43,596 --> 00:48:48,434 Sadly, I seem to appeal only to elderly gentlemen. 744 00:48:48,702 --> 00:48:51,538 Where are my young bucks and blades? Quel dommage! 745 00:48:51,772 --> 00:48:53,807 I've told you what you must do. 746 00:48:54,041 --> 00:48:57,612 The last thing a girl wants after an evening's performance... 747 00:48:57,846 --> 00:49:01,216 ...is to have to go and sing all night for London society. 748 00:49:01,450 --> 00:49:04,419 Idle ladies and their odious husbands. 749 00:49:04,653 --> 00:49:06,322 One has to sing for one's supper. 750 00:49:06,555 --> 00:49:08,757 It's damned exhausting. I detest it. 751 00:49:08,991 --> 00:49:10,860 Anyway, they're not all married. 752 00:49:11,095 --> 00:49:13,364 And some of them are rather cute and courteous. 753 00:49:13,597 --> 00:49:15,732 You have them dangling on a leash, Jessie. 754 00:49:15,967 --> 00:49:20,338 One must keep oneself amused, don't you know? 755 00:49:22,574 --> 00:49:25,277 So terribly trying. 756 00:49:25,511 --> 00:49:28,281 When I meet a gentleman, he invites me to supper. 757 00:49:28,515 --> 00:49:31,049 I mention my little... secret... 758 00:49:31,284 --> 00:49:33,153 ...and then he's off, quick smart. 759 00:49:33,420 --> 00:49:35,255 C'est impossible! 760 00:49:35,490 --> 00:49:37,191 You shouldn't reveal your secret... 761 00:49:37,458 --> 00:49:40,061 ...until he's fallen in love with you and has proposed! 762 00:49:40,296 --> 00:49:42,063 Oh, Jessie, for goodness' sake! 763 00:49:42,298 --> 00:49:44,967 By the by, "monsieur", you do realise I have a little boy? 764 00:49:45,201 --> 00:49:49,006 I couldn't possibly pretend that Stanton doesn't exist. No. 765 00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,541 No, he's my precious little bundle. 766 00:49:51,775 --> 00:49:54,211 - How's his toothache? - Earache. 767 00:49:54,445 --> 00:49:56,447 He suffers terribly, poor mite. 768 00:49:56,681 --> 00:50:00,618 - Shall I lace you up now, Miss Bond? - Of course, Emily. 769 00:50:00,853 --> 00:50:03,321 Surely your Mr Barnes would be willing? 770 00:50:03,555 --> 00:50:06,326 Mr Baker. Jessie, please! 771 00:50:06,559 --> 00:50:09,696 I do not intend to become a widow again before I'm 50. 772 00:50:09,930 --> 00:50:13,434 No. Neither do I. 773 00:50:13,568 --> 00:50:17,806 ♪ No doubt, yet spite of all your pains 774 00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:21,410 ♪ The interesting fact remains 775 00:50:21,643 --> 00:50:23,145 - Come in. 776 00:50:23,379 --> 00:50:26,115 ♪... a little boy 777 00:50:26,383 --> 00:50:31,120 ♪ He was a little boy 778 00:50:31,355 --> 00:50:32,823 Five minutes, Miss Braham. 779 00:50:33,056 --> 00:50:36,694 - Thank you, Shrimp. - Pleasure, miss. 780 00:50:41,835 --> 00:50:45,104 ♪ But soft, they waken one by one 781 00:50:45,338 --> 00:50:46,840 ♪ The spell has worked 782 00:50:47,107 --> 00:50:49,276 ♪ The deed is done 783 00:50:49,543 --> 00:50:53,347 ♪ I would suggest that we retire 784 00:50:53,581 --> 00:50:56,417 ♪ While Love, the housemaid 785 00:50:56,651 --> 00:51:00,922 ♪ Lights her kitchen fire 786 00:51:01,156 --> 00:51:04,126 ♪ While Love, the housemaid 787 00:51:04,361 --> 00:51:09,866 ♪ Lights her kitchen fire 788 00:51:26,453 --> 00:51:27,520 ♪ Why 789 00:51:27,788 --> 00:51:28,889 ♪ Where be oi 790 00:51:29,122 --> 00:51:31,858 ♪ And what be oi a-doin' 791 00:51:32,092 --> 00:51:35,130 ♪ A-sleepin' out just when 792 00:51:35,364 --> 00:51:38,499 ♪ The dew do rise? 793 00:51:38,733 --> 00:51:43,972 ♪ Why, that's the very way your 'ealth to ruin 794 00:51:44,207 --> 00:51:50,080 ♪ And don't seem quite respectable likewise 795 00:51:50,348 --> 00:51:52,682 ♪ 'Ey, that's you 796 00:51:52,917 --> 00:51:55,186 ♪ Only think of that now 797 00:51:55,421 --> 00:51:58,825 ♪ What may you be at now? 798 00:51:59,057 --> 00:52:02,527 ♪ Tell me do 799 00:52:05,799 --> 00:52:08,535 ♪ 'Ey, what a nose 800 00:52:08,769 --> 00:52:10,971 ♪ And oh, what eyes, miss 801 00:52:11,206 --> 00:52:13,775 ♪ Lips like a rose 802 00:52:14,008 --> 00:52:16,143 ♪ And cheeks likewise, miss 803 00:52:16,378 --> 00:52:18,546 ♪ Oi'll tell you true 804 00:52:18,780 --> 00:52:21,283 ♪ Which I never done, sir 805 00:52:21,550 --> 00:52:23,686 ♪ Oi like you 806 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:28,126 ♪ As oi never liked none, sir. 807 00:52:30,528 --> 00:52:33,064 ♪ 'Ey, but I do 808 00:52:33,297 --> 00:52:39,004 ♪ Like you 809 00:53:07,304 --> 00:53:09,406 - Morning, Carte. - Good morning, Gilbert. 810 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:10,908 - Cigar? - Thank you. 811 00:53:11,142 --> 00:53:13,011 - Gilbert. - Sullivan. May I? 812 00:53:13,245 --> 00:53:14,645 - Certainly. - Morning, D'Oyly. 813 00:53:14,914 --> 00:53:16,883 - Good morning, Miss Lenoir. - Good morning. 814 00:53:17,149 --> 00:53:20,621 Good day, Helen. 815 00:53:22,455 --> 00:53:24,725 Now, gentlemen. We all know why we're here. 816 00:53:24,992 --> 00:53:27,862 We seem to have come to something of a standstill. 817 00:53:28,096 --> 00:53:31,899 - Indeed we have. - Which, Arthur, is because... 818 00:53:32,133 --> 00:53:33,368 Oh. 819 00:53:33,602 --> 00:53:35,070 Because, Helen... 820 00:53:35,304 --> 00:53:38,973 ...I am unable to set the piece that Gilbert persists in presenting. 821 00:53:39,208 --> 00:53:42,980 The piece I persist in presenting is substantially altered each time. 822 00:53:43,213 --> 00:53:46,216 Otherwise there'd be little point in my presenting it to you. 823 00:53:46,450 --> 00:53:49,620 With respect, old chap, it is not substantially altered at all. 824 00:53:49,854 --> 00:53:52,823 You seem merely to have grafted on to the first act... 825 00:53:53,058 --> 00:53:56,395 ...the tantalising suggestion that we are to be in the realms of... 826 00:53:56,629 --> 00:53:58,497 ...human emotion and probability... 827 00:53:58,732 --> 00:54:03,469 ...only to disappoint us by reverting to your familiar world of Topsy-Turvydom. 828 00:54:03,703 --> 00:54:07,674 That which I have grafted on to Act One, Sullivan, has been at your request. 829 00:54:07,908 --> 00:54:10,244 But if you take exception to Topsy-Turvydom... 830 00:54:10,512 --> 00:54:13,781 ...you take exception to a great deal of my work of the past 25 years. 831 00:54:14,015 --> 00:54:17,487 Not to mention much of what you and I have written together since 1871. 832 00:54:17,753 --> 00:54:19,588 - That is patent balderdash! - Is it? 833 00:54:19,823 --> 00:54:23,293 Gentlemen, if we might keep things cordial, we may make some progress. 834 00:54:23,526 --> 00:54:27,097 Arthur, can you really not see your way to setting this new piece? 835 00:54:27,332 --> 00:54:30,935 - Alas, Helen, I cannot. - Cannot or will not? 836 00:54:31,169 --> 00:54:35,107 I am truly unable to set any piece that is so profoundly uncongenial to me. 837 00:54:35,341 --> 00:54:37,409 Uncongenial though it may be to you... 838 00:54:37,676 --> 00:54:40,613 ...I must remind you that we here are conducting a business. 839 00:54:40,848 --> 00:54:43,184 May I remind you, Helen, that I am not a machine. 840 00:54:43,418 --> 00:54:45,853 I would not suggest for one moment that you were. 841 00:54:46,087 --> 00:54:48,423 You all seem to be treating me as a barrel organ. 842 00:54:48,657 --> 00:54:50,226 You have but to turn my handle... 843 00:54:50,459 --> 00:54:52,861 ...and out pops a tune! - That's not strictly true. 844 00:54:53,095 --> 00:54:55,230 - Arthur. - Come now, that's unfair. 845 00:54:55,465 --> 00:54:59,035 You are both contractually obliged to supply a new work on request. 846 00:54:59,269 --> 00:55:03,874 The very act of signing a joint contract dictates that we must be businesslike. 847 00:55:04,108 --> 00:55:05,943 Yes, Mr Gilbert. 848 00:55:06,178 --> 00:55:10,415 And I was wondering whether "you" might be able to solve our wee difficulty. 849 00:55:10,649 --> 00:55:15,086 - How, pray? - By simply writing another libretto. 850 00:55:17,791 --> 00:55:21,895 It's out of the question. I have worked for many long months at this play... 851 00:55:22,129 --> 00:55:26,367 ...which I have every confidence will be the best we have produced at the Savoy. 852 00:55:26,634 --> 00:55:29,069 To abandon it would be both criminal and wasteful. 853 00:55:29,304 --> 00:55:30,238 I see. 854 00:55:30,472 --> 00:55:34,076 Had the complaint been lodged earlier, that might have been different. 855 00:55:34,310 --> 00:55:36,279 I did so when you presented the libretto. 856 00:55:36,512 --> 00:55:38,849 I was unable to present you with the libretto... 857 00:55:39,115 --> 00:55:41,218 ...until you returned from your grand tour! 858 00:55:41,452 --> 00:55:44,353 - That is neither here nor there. - No, Sullivan. Indeed. 859 00:55:44,588 --> 00:55:47,592 I was here and you were there. Ha! 860 00:55:47,826 --> 00:55:49,728 What I don't understand, Arthur... 861 00:55:49,995 --> 00:55:51,829 ...is why you cannot set this piece. 862 00:55:52,064 --> 00:55:54,834 You're our greatest composer. Surely you can do anything? 863 00:55:55,068 --> 00:55:56,903 How very kind you are, Helen. 864 00:55:57,137 --> 00:56:00,039 But I say again to you all, I am at the end of my tether. 865 00:56:00,274 --> 00:56:03,811 I have been repeating myself in this... class of work for too long... 866 00:56:04,079 --> 00:56:06,580 ...and I will not continue so to do. 867 00:56:06,814 --> 00:56:09,384 Neither of us runs any risk of repeating himself. 868 00:56:09,618 --> 00:56:12,454 This is an entirely new story, quite unlike any other. 869 00:56:12,689 --> 00:56:14,823 It's markedly similar to "The Sorcerer". 870 00:56:15,057 --> 00:56:17,160 People say we're repeating ourselves. 871 00:56:17,394 --> 00:56:19,229 How is it similar to "The Sorcerer"? 872 00:56:19,464 --> 00:56:21,398 Obviously both involve characters... 873 00:56:21,632 --> 00:56:24,167 ...who are transformed by the taking of a magic potion. 874 00:56:24,435 --> 00:56:27,672 A device which I continue to find utterly contrived. 875 00:56:27,906 --> 00:56:31,075 Every theatrical performance is a contrivance by its very nature. 876 00:56:31,310 --> 00:56:37,016 Yes, but this piece consists entirely of an artificial and implausible situation. 877 00:56:37,250 --> 00:56:40,454 If you wish to write a grand opera about a prostitute... 878 00:56:40,722 --> 00:56:42,757 ...dying of consumption in a garret... 879 00:56:42,991 --> 00:56:45,159 ...I suggest you contact Mr lbsen in Oslo. 880 00:56:45,393 --> 00:56:48,296 I'm sure he can furnish you with something suitably dull. 881 00:56:48,531 --> 00:56:51,200 - Gilbert, please. - Hmm? 882 00:56:51,433 --> 00:56:53,536 I do beg your pardon, Miss Lenoir. 883 00:56:53,803 --> 00:56:55,104 Oh, no. Granted. 884 00:56:55,338 --> 00:56:59,276 The opportunity to treat a situation of tender, human and dramatic interest... 885 00:56:59,510 --> 00:57:02,146 ...is one I long for more than anything else in the world. 886 00:57:02,379 --> 00:57:06,617 If that is your sincere desire, I would be willing, with Carte's permission... 887 00:57:06,851 --> 00:57:09,855 ...to withdraw my services whilst you write a grand opera... 888 00:57:10,123 --> 00:57:12,691 ...with a collaborator with whom you have more affinity. 889 00:57:12,959 --> 00:57:14,860 - No, Gilbert. - I'm in earnest, Sullivan. 890 00:57:15,094 --> 00:57:17,397 No doubt we shall be pursuing that in the future. 891 00:57:17,631 --> 00:57:20,669 Indeed. 892 00:57:20,902 --> 00:57:23,036 Well, that is your prerogative, Carte. 893 00:57:23,271 --> 00:57:27,076 However, we are concerned with the present. 894 00:57:27,310 --> 00:57:33,216 Arthur. Will you or will you not set Mr Gilbert's new and original work? 895 00:57:33,483 --> 00:57:36,153 Ma belle Héléne: Ce n'est pas possible. 896 00:57:36,386 --> 00:57:38,554 Truly? 897 00:57:38,788 --> 00:57:41,892 I'm afraid so. 898 00:57:42,027 --> 00:57:44,428 That being the case... Mr Gilbert... 899 00:57:44,662 --> 00:57:47,932 Am I right to suppose that you remain unable to accommodate us? 900 00:57:48,201 --> 00:57:50,036 Indeed, Miss Lenoir. 901 00:57:50,270 --> 00:57:52,238 I have had what I deem to be a good idea... 902 00:57:52,472 --> 00:57:55,775 ...and such ideas are not three a penny. 903 00:57:56,043 --> 00:57:57,845 What a pity. 904 00:57:58,079 --> 00:58:02,917 This will be a very sad day for many thousands of people. 905 00:58:03,151 --> 00:58:05,754 Well, gentlemen, I don't know about you... 906 00:58:05,988 --> 00:58:10,560 ...but speaking for myself, I could murder a pork chop. 907 00:58:16,667 --> 00:58:20,538 If you'll excuse me, I shall retrieve my hat. 908 00:58:36,923 --> 00:58:39,126 - Gilbert. - Sullivan. 909 00:58:39,361 --> 00:58:41,195 Good day to you both. 910 00:58:41,430 --> 00:58:44,265 No doubt we shall be in communication in the near future. 911 00:58:44,499 --> 00:58:48,237 - Good day, Mr Gilbert. - Good day. 912 00:58:55,980 --> 00:58:57,815 You know where to find me. 913 00:58:58,083 --> 00:59:01,152 Arthur. 914 00:59:12,699 --> 00:59:14,567 - Where have you been? - Shopping. 915 00:59:14,802 --> 00:59:16,036 Surprising(!) 916 00:59:16,269 --> 00:59:18,606 I was in Knightsbridge... and guess what I saw? 917 00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:20,675 An elephant gilding two lilies. 918 00:59:20,910 --> 00:59:22,744 - No. - I have no idea. 919 00:59:22,978 --> 00:59:25,380 Three tiny Japanese ladies! 920 00:59:25,648 --> 00:59:29,418 - How do you know they were Japanese? - They had on their funny dressing gowns. 921 00:59:29,685 --> 00:59:30,685 Had they just got up? 922 00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,056 No, there's a Japanese exhibition at Humphreys' Hall. 923 00:59:33,323 --> 00:59:35,525 Oh, yes. Japanese village of some sort. 924 00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:38,462 Yes! Yes, sounds rather intriguing. Might we visit? 925 00:59:38,696 --> 00:59:42,168 - No. - But the whole of London will be going! 926 00:59:42,401 --> 00:59:44,869 - Precisely! - Don't be so stubborn! 927 00:59:45,104 --> 00:59:47,506 I have other things on my mind, you know that! 928 00:59:47,740 --> 00:59:49,743 Yes, I do know that and I understand... 929 00:59:50,010 --> 00:59:52,177 ...but a little distraction will do you good. 930 00:59:52,445 --> 00:59:55,748 - Kitty, I don't want to be distracted. - Yes, you do. 931 00:59:55,983 --> 00:59:58,587 Oh, do I? You know my mind better than I do, do you? 932 00:59:58,819 --> 01:00:00,721 I know you better than you think I do. 933 01:00:00,956 --> 01:00:04,226 Lucy, if you wish to visit Humphreys' Hall, by all means do so... 934 01:00:04,461 --> 01:00:09,700 ...but I shall not accompany you for all the tea in China. 935 01:00:41,269 --> 01:00:43,104 What are you writing, sir? 936 01:01:39,104 --> 01:01:41,239 - Good afternoon, Lucy. - Maude! 937 01:01:41,473 --> 01:01:43,308 Good heavens! What are you doing here? 938 01:01:43,543 --> 01:01:46,546 - How are you, Schwenck? - How jolly! You must join us. 939 01:01:46,813 --> 01:01:48,715 Unfortunately, we're about to leave. 940 01:01:48,949 --> 01:01:51,051 - Oh, what a pity. - What do you make of it all? 941 01:01:51,285 --> 01:01:53,287 - It's entrancing. - It's frightful. 942 01:01:55,724 --> 01:01:57,559 - How's Mother? - Quite well. 943 01:01:57,793 --> 01:01:58,993 She's in bed. 944 01:01:59,227 --> 01:02:00,428 Come along, Maude. 945 01:02:00,662 --> 01:02:03,399 - We mustn't keep you. Good day to you. - Give her my best. 946 01:02:03,633 --> 01:02:04,567 Of course. 947 01:02:04,801 --> 01:02:07,103 - Well... "au revoir". - Good day, Maude. 948 01:02:07,371 --> 01:02:11,242 Au revoir. 949 01:02:26,526 --> 01:02:29,796 - My goodness! - Mmm. 950 01:02:30,030 --> 01:02:32,633 Perfectly green. 951 01:02:32,867 --> 01:02:36,804 - Spinach water. - Oh, Willie! 952 01:02:37,573 --> 01:02:39,374 Thank you very much. 953 01:02:39,608 --> 01:02:41,577 Shikuspen, prease. 954 01:02:41,812 --> 01:02:45,147 - I beg your pardon? - Shikuspen, prease. 955 01:02:45,415 --> 01:02:47,117 - She speaks English! - What did she say? 956 01:02:47,351 --> 01:02:49,687 She said, "Sixpence, please"! 957 01:02:49,921 --> 01:02:53,957 - Shikuspence, prease. - Oh, sixpence! 958 01:02:54,092 --> 01:02:58,230 - Thank you very much. - Arigato gozaimasu. 959 01:02:58,498 --> 01:03:01,200 Shixpence, prease. 960 01:04:31,573 --> 01:04:34,042 Here we are, sir. 961 01:04:34,276 --> 01:04:37,913 - There, Pidgeon. - Very good, sir. 962 01:04:39,616 --> 01:04:41,451 Comme ça. 963 01:04:41,685 --> 01:04:45,055 Yes, sir. 964 01:04:45,154 --> 01:04:48,659 Show it to me. 965 01:04:54,366 --> 01:04:57,336 To your right. 966 01:04:57,571 --> 01:05:01,141 More... Good. Down a bit. 967 01:05:01,375 --> 01:05:03,777 Down a bit... There. 968 01:05:04,011 --> 01:05:07,715 - Mark it there. - Yes, sir. 969 01:05:07,981 --> 01:05:10,017 - Give it to me. - Thank you, sir. 970 01:05:10,252 --> 01:05:12,521 That's a fine-looking instrument, sir. 971 01:05:12,754 --> 01:05:14,856 Now, would that be Spanish or Italian? 972 01:05:15,091 --> 01:05:19,663 - Neither, Pidgeon. - Er, of course, sir. 973 01:05:34,113 --> 01:05:37,082 - Excellent! Thank you. - Thank you, sir. 974 01:06:40,358 --> 01:06:44,929 Do we suppose that Lucy is... with child? 975 01:06:45,163 --> 01:06:48,600 - I beg your pardon, Mama? - Lucy. 976 01:06:48,867 --> 01:06:52,203 Is she "enceinte"? With child? 977 01:06:52,437 --> 01:06:54,239 Why ever would you think that? 978 01:06:54,507 --> 01:06:56,843 One wouldn't have said she was sickly. 979 01:06:57,077 --> 01:07:02,016 Although... she did ask after "you", Mama. 980 01:07:10,092 --> 01:07:11,559 What did he say? 981 01:07:11,827 --> 01:07:14,864 - Who? - Schwenck! 982 01:07:15,098 --> 01:07:17,200 He said nothing, Mama! Nothing! 983 01:07:17,467 --> 01:07:21,136 Nothing! Absolutely nothing! 984 01:07:26,745 --> 01:07:28,579 Your dear son said very little. 985 01:07:28,814 --> 01:07:33,887 And what he did say, I have already told you. 986 01:07:34,020 --> 01:07:35,455 Now... 987 01:07:35,689 --> 01:07:39,159 Do you care for this or not? 988 01:07:39,426 --> 01:07:42,729 It is merely a piece of wood. 989 01:07:42,964 --> 01:07:47,569 Very well. I shall keep it for my collection. 990 01:07:48,503 --> 01:07:52,207 - Maude! - Yes, Mama? 991 01:07:52,341 --> 01:07:56,647 Never bear a humorous baby. 992 01:07:56,881 --> 01:08:00,550 I shall endeavour not to, Mama. 993 01:09:52,715 --> 01:09:55,786 ♪ Behold the Lord High Executioner 994 01:09:56,020 --> 01:09:59,122 ♪ A personage of noble rank and title 995 01:09:59,390 --> 01:10:02,927 ♪ A dignified and potent officer 996 01:10:03,195 --> 01:10:06,831 ♪ Whose functions are particularly vital 997 01:10:07,066 --> 01:10:09,902 ♪ Defer! Defer! 998 01:10:10,137 --> 01:10:13,273 ♪ To the Lord High Executioner 999 01:10:13,506 --> 01:10:16,910 ♪ Defer! Defer! 1000 01:10:17,144 --> 01:10:20,448 ♪ To the noble Lord, to the noble Lord 1001 01:10:20,715 --> 01:10:25,754 ♪ To the Lord High Executioner 1002 01:10:26,689 --> 01:10:29,859 ♪ Taken from the county jail 1003 01:10:30,092 --> 01:10:33,630 ♪ By a set of curious chances 1004 01:10:33,864 --> 01:10:37,467 ♪ Liberated then on bail 1005 01:10:37,702 --> 01:10:41,206 ♪ On my own recognisances 1006 01:10:41,473 --> 01:10:45,010 ♪ Wafted by a favouring gale 1007 01:10:45,277 --> 01:10:48,781 ♪ As one sometimes is in trances 1008 01:10:49,015 --> 01:10:52,552 ♪ To a height that few can scale 1009 01:10:52,786 --> 01:10:56,290 ♪ Save by long and weary dances 1010 01:10:56,557 --> 01:11:00,261 ♪ Surely never had a male 1011 01:11:00,496 --> 01:11:03,732 ♪ Under suchlike circumstances 1012 01:11:03,966 --> 01:11:07,102 ♪ So adventurous a tale 1013 01:11:07,336 --> 01:11:11,942 ♪ Which may rank with most romances 1014 01:11:12,176 --> 01:11:16,313 ♪ Taken from the county jail 1015 01:11:16,547 --> 01:11:19,251 ♪ By a set of curious chances 1016 01:11:19,518 --> 01:11:22,854 ♪ Surely never had a male 1017 01:11:23,088 --> 01:11:26,758 ♪ So adventurous a tale 1018 01:11:26,993 --> 01:11:29,095 "The Mikado, or the town of Titipu." 1019 01:11:29,329 --> 01:11:30,931 "Act One." 1020 01:11:31,197 --> 01:11:33,667 "Scene: Courtyard of Ko-Ko's palace in Titipu." 1021 01:11:33,901 --> 01:11:36,570 "Japanese nobles discovered standing and sitting... 1022 01:11:36,837 --> 01:11:39,174 ...in attitudes suggested by native drawings." 1023 01:11:39,408 --> 01:11:43,112 "Chorus: 'If you want to know who we are We're gentlemen of Japan.'" 1024 01:11:43,345 --> 01:11:45,647 "'On many a vase and jar, on many a screen and fan 1025 01:11:45,915 --> 01:11:48,952 we figure in lively paint, our attitudes queer and quaint.'" 1026 01:11:49,186 --> 01:11:51,020 "'You're wrong if you think it ain't.'" 1027 01:11:51,255 --> 01:11:54,992 "'If you think we are worked by strings like a Japanese marionette, 1028 01:11:55,225 --> 01:11:57,262 you don't understand these things - 1029 01:11:57,496 --> 01:11:59,263 it's simply Court etiquette.'" 1030 01:11:59,498 --> 01:12:02,635 "'Perhaps you suppose this throng can't keep it up all day long.'" 1031 01:12:02,869 --> 01:12:04,904 "'If that's your idea, you're wrong.'" 1032 01:12:05,138 --> 01:12:07,107 "Enter Nanki-Poo, in great excitement." 1033 01:12:07,340 --> 01:12:11,411 "He carries a native guitar on his back and a bundle of ballads in his hand." 1034 01:12:11,679 --> 01:12:13,313 "Recitative, Nanki-Poo." 1035 01:12:13,546 --> 01:12:15,282 "'Gentlemen, I pray you, tell me... 1036 01:12:15,517 --> 01:12:18,921 ...where a lovely maiden dwelleth named Yum-Yum, the ward of Ko-Ko.'" 1037 01:12:19,154 --> 01:12:21,188 "'In pity speak, oh, speak, I pray you.'" 1038 01:12:21,422 --> 01:12:24,259 "'I hurried back at once in the hope of finding Yum-Yum... 1039 01:12:24,494 --> 01:12:26,796 ...at liberty to listen to my protestations.'" 1040 01:12:27,030 --> 01:12:30,902 "Pish-Tush: 'It is true that Ko-Ko was condemned to death for flirting... 1041 01:12:31,135 --> 01:12:33,704 ...but he was reprieved at the last moment... 1042 01:12:33,938 --> 01:12:37,441 ...and raised to the exalted rank of Lord High Executioner... 1043 01:12:37,675 --> 01:12:40,713 ...under the following remarkable circumstances.'" 1044 01:12:40,947 --> 01:12:42,782 "Song, Pish-Tush." 1045 01:12:43,016 --> 01:12:45,418 "'Our great Mikado, virtuous man, 1046 01:12:45,652 --> 01:12:47,419 When he to rule our land began 1047 01:12:47,654 --> 01:12:49,957 Resolved to try a plan whereby 1048 01:12:50,190 --> 01:12:52,692 Young men might best be steadied.'" 1049 01:12:52,960 --> 01:12:55,029 "'So he decreed in words succinct 1050 01:12:55,263 --> 01:12:57,466 That all who flirted, leered or winked 1051 01:12:57,700 --> 01:12:59,701 Unless connubially linked 1052 01:12:59,935 --> 01:13:01,804 Should forthwith be beheaded.'" 1053 01:13:02,037 --> 01:13:05,475 "'And I expect you'll all agree That he was right to so decree.'" 1054 01:13:05,709 --> 01:13:07,476 "'And I am right, and you are right, 1055 01:13:07,710 --> 01:13:10,314 And all is right as right can be.'" 1056 01:13:10,548 --> 01:13:12,683 "'This stern decree, you'll understand, 1057 01:13:12,917 --> 01:13:15,185 Caused great dismay throughout the land, 1058 01:13:15,419 --> 01:13:17,655 For young and old and shy and bold 1059 01:13:17,924 --> 01:13:19,792 Were equally affected.'" 1060 01:13:20,025 --> 01:13:21,859 "'The youth who winked a roving eye 1061 01:13:22,094 --> 01:13:24,563 Or breathed a non-connubial sigh 1062 01:13:24,797 --> 01:13:28,268 Was thereupon condemned to die.'" 1063 01:13:28,501 --> 01:13:30,336 "'He usually objected.'" 1064 01:13:30,605 --> 01:13:33,908 "'And you'll allow, as I expect, That he was right to so object, 1065 01:13:34,142 --> 01:13:36,043 And I am right, and you are right 1066 01:13:36,277 --> 01:13:38,112 And everything is quite correct.'" 1067 01:13:38,346 --> 01:13:40,481 "'And so we straight let out on bail 1068 01:13:40,716 --> 01:13:42,685 A convict from the county jail 1069 01:13:42,920 --> 01:13:46,857 Whose head was next on some pretext, Condemn-ed to be mown off, 1070 01:13:47,124 --> 01:13:49,260 And made him Headsman, for we said: 1071 01:13:49,494 --> 01:13:51,561 Who's next to be decapit-ed 1072 01:13:51,796 --> 01:13:55,768 Cannot cut off another's head Until he's cut his own off.'" 1073 01:13:56,002 --> 01:13:59,405 "'And we are right, I think you'll say, To argue in this kind of way, 1074 01:13:59,638 --> 01:14:01,473 And I am right, and you are right, 1075 01:14:01,708 --> 01:14:03,543 And all is right - too-loorallay!'" 1076 01:14:03,778 --> 01:14:06,713 "Chorus. End of song." 1077 01:14:06,947 --> 01:14:08,748 Highly amusing, Willie. 1078 01:14:08,983 --> 01:14:11,519 - Fatuous. - Oh. 1079 01:14:11,753 --> 01:14:13,755 Surely Arthur likes it? 1080 01:14:13,988 --> 01:14:17,726 He hasn't said otherwise. 1081 01:14:17,826 --> 01:14:21,863 It certainly is rich in human emotion and probability. 1082 01:14:22,098 --> 01:14:24,935 Hardly. 1083 01:14:25,903 --> 01:14:27,872 "Enter Pooh-Bah." 1084 01:14:51,699 --> 01:14:53,467 - It's a tragedy. - It is. 1085 01:14:53,701 --> 01:14:54,802 Che bruto. 1086 01:14:55,037 --> 01:14:58,474 Absolutely. He simply hasn't played with a straight bat. 1087 01:14:58,708 --> 01:15:00,442 - Who's that? - His Majesty the Mahdi. 1088 01:15:00,676 --> 01:15:02,645 - Oh, yes. - No, it just isn't cricket. 1089 01:15:02,879 --> 01:15:06,916 Quite so. It's completely contrary to the rules of engagement. 1090 01:15:07,150 --> 01:15:10,187 The man was surrounded on all sides and massacred mercilessly. 1091 01:15:10,421 --> 01:15:13,524 "What full fortune doth the thick lips owe." 1092 01:15:13,758 --> 01:15:16,862 - What does that mean? - Philistine. 1093 01:15:17,130 --> 01:15:19,565 It baffles me that you're baffled, Barrington. 1094 01:15:19,799 --> 01:15:23,002 The Hottentot in the desert doesn't play cricket. 1095 01:15:23,236 --> 01:15:26,406 His natural habitation being the jungly-bungly tree... 1096 01:15:26,641 --> 01:15:29,944 ...he is as yet hardly able to walk upright, don't you know? 1097 01:15:30,178 --> 01:15:33,181 We strive to bring them civilisation... 1098 01:15:33,449 --> 01:15:36,985 ...and this is their gratitude. 1099 01:15:38,187 --> 01:15:42,258 Did you know that 56 families were slaughtered on the Island of Skye? 1100 01:15:42,526 --> 01:15:46,029 - Really? When was that? - In '82, I think. 1101 01:15:46,263 --> 01:15:48,566 And who perpetrated the outrage, pray? 1102 01:15:48,800 --> 01:15:52,270 - Oh, merely the, er... English militia. - Extraordinary. 1103 01:15:52,504 --> 01:15:56,008 Buon appetito. 1104 01:15:59,579 --> 01:16:01,581 Shall we indulge in another dozen? 1105 01:16:01,849 --> 01:16:04,953 - I rather think we ought, don't you? - I think we might. 1106 01:16:05,187 --> 01:16:07,555 - Would you care for a second fish, Lely? - No. 1107 01:16:07,789 --> 01:16:09,724 Or a veritable shoal, perhaps? 1108 01:16:09,958 --> 01:16:14,396 I've had an ample sufficiency, thank you, my wee man. 1109 01:16:14,530 --> 01:16:16,999 I have an appointment with Carte this afternoon. 1110 01:16:17,233 --> 01:16:19,903 - At what hour? - Five o'clock. 1111 01:16:20,171 --> 01:16:22,839 Curious. I shall be with him at half past four. 1112 01:16:23,073 --> 01:16:26,211 That's funny. I don't have a meeting with him at four o'clock. 1113 01:16:26,445 --> 01:16:29,480 And it is my firm intention to prise open his purse. 1114 01:16:29,713 --> 01:16:32,550 It will take a far stronger man than you, Mr Barrington... 1115 01:16:32,785 --> 01:16:35,955 ...to fulfil that Herculean labour. 1116 01:16:36,189 --> 01:16:38,391 What's "your" mission, Captain Grossmith? 1117 01:16:38,624 --> 01:16:42,429 Oh, there are certain little matters. 1118 01:16:42,563 --> 01:16:44,965 I should like to offer you an increase in salary. 1119 01:16:45,199 --> 01:16:48,369 - Oh? Indeed? - Indeed. 1120 01:16:48,603 --> 01:16:52,073 - That's most benevolent of you. - It's no less than you deserve. 1121 01:16:52,307 --> 01:16:55,811 Thank you. And by how much, might one enquire? 1122 01:16:56,045 --> 01:16:59,148 By 7 1/2 per cent. 1123 01:16:59,382 --> 01:17:01,284 Mm. 1124 01:17:01,518 --> 01:17:03,353 7 1/2. 1125 01:17:03,587 --> 01:17:06,390 Now, that would work out at, er... 1126 01:17:06,624 --> 01:17:08,993 - £30 per week. - 30! Mm. 1127 01:17:09,227 --> 01:17:13,264 I see. Well, £30 per week wasn't quite the sum I had in mind... 1128 01:17:13,532 --> 01:17:16,268 ...as I wended my weary way here. 1129 01:17:16,502 --> 01:17:17,704 Indeed? 1130 01:17:17,971 --> 01:17:21,107 That would be three productions with a negligible increase. 1131 01:17:21,375 --> 01:17:23,944 I don't consider an increase of two pounds per week... 1132 01:17:24,211 --> 01:17:26,680 ...over 12 months negligible, George. 1133 01:17:26,915 --> 01:17:29,952 One might have thought the name of George Grossmith... 1134 01:17:30,185 --> 01:17:32,387 ...my not inconsiderable contribution... 1135 01:17:32,655 --> 01:17:35,624 ...would have been more favourably recognised. 1136 01:17:35,892 --> 01:17:38,595 You do receive considerably more than anyone else. 1137 01:17:38,829 --> 01:17:42,600 - Do I? - Mm. 1138 01:17:44,135 --> 01:17:47,005 We should be terribly sorry to lose you. 1139 01:17:47,239 --> 01:17:50,475 Gilbert has written you a particularly fine part in the new piece. 1140 01:17:50,709 --> 01:17:53,678 Precisely! As one would expect. 1141 01:17:53,913 --> 01:17:58,185 However, I should judge an increase of a paltry two pound per week... 1142 01:17:58,451 --> 01:18:00,186 ...to be wholly unacceptable. 1143 01:18:00,453 --> 01:18:03,957 Not to mention mildly insulting, if one may say so. 1144 01:18:04,192 --> 01:18:10,233 And what figure had you in mind, Mr Grossmith? 1145 01:18:11,768 --> 01:18:15,137 Er... 1146 01:18:15,238 --> 01:18:19,844 Forgive me, I seem to have lost my train of thought. 1147 01:18:26,986 --> 01:18:31,090 Are you unwell, George? 1148 01:18:31,591 --> 01:18:34,894 I fear I may have come over a bit queer. 1149 01:18:35,128 --> 01:18:39,132 - Most embarrassing. - You must take a little brandy. 1150 01:18:46,608 --> 01:18:49,278 A little water clears us of this deed. 1151 01:18:49,512 --> 01:18:51,346 I blame Grossmith for this. 1152 01:18:51,613 --> 01:18:53,515 - Only Grossmith? - Thank you, Helen. 1153 01:18:53,749 --> 01:18:57,254 Confounded glutton. 1154 01:18:58,089 --> 01:19:00,323 - Are you feeling better? - I do beg your pardon. 1155 01:19:00,557 --> 01:19:03,194 - This is awfully embarrassing. - Not at all, Rutty. 1156 01:19:03,428 --> 01:19:06,397 Now why don't we return to the subject of your salary? 1157 01:19:06,632 --> 01:19:09,034 Oh, yes. 1158 01:19:09,269 --> 01:19:14,707 Well, I must declare that I'm rather at a loss for words, D'Oyly. 1159 01:19:14,841 --> 01:19:18,312 - Excuse me. 1160 01:19:18,513 --> 01:19:20,548 Oh, I do beg your pardon. 1161 01:19:20,815 --> 01:19:22,883 This is a bally nightmare, damn it! 1162 01:19:23,117 --> 01:19:26,521 I shall be in my dressing room! 1163 01:19:26,888 --> 01:19:31,593 The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. 1164 01:19:33,396 --> 01:19:35,231 I'm soon to have a meeting... 1165 01:19:35,499 --> 01:19:39,003 ...concerning the cast for the next opera. - Yes, indeed. 1166 01:19:39,237 --> 01:19:42,440 I've heard a little rumour that I might be playing the part... 1167 01:19:42,674 --> 01:19:46,044 ...of a 14-year-old schoolgirl. - Somebody's been telling tales. 1168 01:19:46,278 --> 01:19:49,282 They have indeed, Mr Carte! 1169 01:19:49,516 --> 01:19:53,019 Mr Gilbert will be very angry. 1170 01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:56,957 With reference to your engagement for the opera... 1171 01:19:57,191 --> 01:20:01,628 ...I have a great concern about your little weakness. 1172 01:20:06,934 --> 01:20:09,170 I'm a little shocked, Mr Carte. 1173 01:20:09,405 --> 01:20:13,676 I really do believe that my behaviour this last year has been exemplary. 1174 01:20:13,909 --> 01:20:16,479 I'm pleased to say your tendency has improved... 1175 01:20:16,713 --> 01:20:20,485 ...but I am concerned about the future. 1176 01:20:22,120 --> 01:20:25,224 Yes. You're perhaps suggesting, Mr Carte... 1177 01:20:25,458 --> 01:20:29,762 ...that I shan't be performing in the next production. 1178 01:20:29,996 --> 01:20:33,599 Yes, I'm afraid I am. 1179 01:20:33,734 --> 01:20:38,272 But the outcome of that, Leonora, is in your own hands. 1180 01:20:43,111 --> 01:20:48,283 Sometimes, Mr Carte, I can be a very silly young woman. 1181 01:20:48,518 --> 01:20:51,287 You have an extraordinary talent. 1182 01:20:51,521 --> 01:20:56,561 It saddens me beyond measure to see someone throw it away. 1183 01:20:56,694 --> 01:21:00,931 I assure you, Mr Carte, that I shall be in tiptop form. 1184 01:21:01,132 --> 01:21:03,034 I'm very pleased to hear that. 1185 01:21:03,302 --> 01:21:07,106 Much relieved. 1186 01:21:09,342 --> 01:21:11,744 Do we have an understanding? 1187 01:21:11,978 --> 01:21:16,116 Yes, we do, Mr Carte. 1188 01:21:17,918 --> 01:21:21,288 Good. 1189 01:21:22,457 --> 01:21:24,093 ♪ Charlie, Charlie 1190 01:21:24,327 --> 01:21:26,896 ♪ War would not follow thee 1191 01:21:27,129 --> 01:21:29,065 ♪ King of the Highland hearts 1192 01:21:29,299 --> 01:21:32,902 ♪ Bonnie Prince Charlie 1193 01:21:33,137 --> 01:21:36,206 - Chop chop, Butt! How long do we have? 1194 01:21:36,440 --> 01:21:38,743 - Eight minutes, Mr Temple. - Oh, jolly good. 1195 01:21:38,977 --> 01:21:41,046 - Shocking news from Khartoum. - Indeed. 1196 01:21:41,280 --> 01:21:43,582 Something will have to be done, tout de suite. 1197 01:21:43,816 --> 01:21:45,050 Absolutely. 1198 01:21:45,284 --> 01:21:47,653 Mrs Temple hit the nail on the head, as per usual. 1199 01:21:47,887 --> 01:21:48,921 Oh? What did she say? 1200 01:21:49,156 --> 01:21:52,058 "The nation loses a hero, but the family loses a loved one." 1201 01:21:52,292 --> 01:21:55,128 - Ooh, how apt. - Perspicacious woman is Mrs Temple. 1202 01:21:55,363 --> 01:21:57,198 Hat! 1203 01:21:57,465 --> 01:21:59,299 Consider this, my dear Butt. 1204 01:21:59,534 --> 01:22:02,503 Is it not the inevitable fate of the professional soldier... 1205 01:22:02,737 --> 01:22:05,174 ...that he may perish in battle? - Indeed, sir. 1206 01:22:05,409 --> 01:22:08,011 But Dickie, have you heard the "real" news of the day? 1207 01:22:08,244 --> 01:22:10,379 Yes, the Fenian bomb. Oh, dreadful. 1208 01:22:10,614 --> 01:22:12,449 No, Grossmith and Barrington. 1209 01:22:12,683 --> 01:22:14,517 - What? - They're off tonight. 1210 01:22:14,785 --> 01:22:16,520 - Both of them? - Yes. 1211 01:22:16,787 --> 01:22:18,490 - Why? - Oysters. 1212 01:22:18,724 --> 01:22:20,891 - We shared luncheon. - Did you swallow? 1213 01:22:21,126 --> 01:22:22,928 - No. I had sole. - Off the bone? 1214 01:22:23,162 --> 01:22:26,131 - Yes. It was rather succulent. - Wise man. Oysters can kill. 1215 01:22:26,366 --> 01:22:27,767 Unquestionably! 1216 01:22:28,001 --> 01:22:29,835 My aunt choked on a scallop at Herne Bay. 1217 01:22:30,103 --> 01:22:32,206 - Really? - Tragic. 1218 01:22:32,440 --> 01:22:34,207 Yes, they were away to see Carte. 1219 01:22:34,442 --> 01:22:36,142 - Oh, really? - Mm. 1220 01:22:36,377 --> 01:22:38,880 - Will you be lobbying? - No, I'll wait for my summons. 1221 01:22:39,147 --> 01:22:40,882 Quite right, dear boy. 1222 01:22:41,116 --> 01:22:43,318 One should not be rewarded on one's ability... 1223 01:22:43,585 --> 01:22:45,787 ...to ingratiate oneself with the management. 1224 01:22:46,021 --> 01:22:48,724 Particularly when the management have difficulty... 1225 01:22:48,958 --> 01:22:52,662 ...locating the whereabouts of the arse and the elbow! 1226 01:22:52,897 --> 01:22:56,367 Serves them both right. 1227 01:22:58,770 --> 01:23:01,140 Enter! 1228 01:23:01,373 --> 01:23:03,375 Five minutes, please, Mr Temple, Mr Lely. 1229 01:23:03,609 --> 01:23:06,978 - Thank you, Shrimp! - Merci, Crevette! 1230 01:23:07,213 --> 01:23:08,782 One, two, three, four. 1231 01:23:09,016 --> 01:23:12,253 ♪ And so, although I'm ready to go 1232 01:23:12,487 --> 01:23:14,488 - ♪ Yet recollect... - Dolce! 1233 01:23:14,722 --> 01:23:17,492 - ♪ Did I neglect to thus effect... - Expansive! 1234 01:23:17,726 --> 01:23:19,827 - ♪ So I object - Good! 1235 01:23:20,062 --> 01:23:23,566 - ♪ And so, although - Rutty, temper your volume, please. 1236 01:23:23,799 --> 01:23:27,103 - ♪ And greatly pine to brightly shine - And now! 1237 01:23:27,338 --> 01:23:30,940 ♪ With grief condign I must decline 1238 01:23:31,174 --> 01:23:33,143 ♪ And go and show both friend and foe 1239 01:23:33,377 --> 01:23:35,146 ♪ How much you dare, I'm quite aware 1240 01:23:35,380 --> 01:23:37,048 ♪ It's your affair yet I declare 1241 01:23:37,282 --> 01:23:39,151 ♪ I'd take your share but I don't 1242 01:23:39,384 --> 01:23:41,219 Bovill, that's very good, but... 1243 01:23:41,454 --> 01:23:44,256 ...I've gone to great pain to provide you with triplets. 1244 01:23:44,490 --> 01:23:46,726 - Triplets, Sir Arthur, yes. - On his salary! 1245 01:23:46,960 --> 01:23:48,695 - Rutty, please. - Apology. 1246 01:23:48,929 --> 01:23:52,066 Consequently, if you would be so kind as to trip. 1247 01:23:52,300 --> 01:23:54,937 - Of course, Sir Arthur. - One, two, three, four! 1248 01:23:55,170 --> 01:23:56,704 ♪ And go and show both friend and foe 1249 01:23:56,938 --> 01:23:58,940 ♪ How much you dare, I'm quite aware 1250 01:23:59,174 --> 01:24:00,908 ♪ It's your affair yet I declare 1251 01:24:01,143 --> 01:24:03,379 ♪ I'd take your share but I don't much care 1252 01:24:03,613 --> 01:24:05,647 - Very much better. - Thank you, Sir Arthur. 1253 01:24:05,882 --> 01:24:08,450 - The new man's doing awfully well. - Quite splendid. 1254 01:24:08,685 --> 01:24:10,254 Breathe, Bovill, breathe! 1255 01:24:10,488 --> 01:24:13,124 - It's "piano", Barrington, "piano". - I'll do my best. 1256 01:24:13,390 --> 01:24:16,927 - As many P's as you can muster, Rutland. - Without landing us in the soup! 1257 01:24:17,162 --> 01:24:18,764 One, two, three, four! 1258 01:24:19,031 --> 01:24:20,498 ♪ And go and show both friend and foe 1259 01:24:20,732 --> 01:24:22,534 ♪ How much you dare, I'm quite aware 1260 01:24:22,769 --> 01:24:24,404 ♪ It's your affair yet I declare 1261 01:24:24,672 --> 01:24:26,106 ♪ I'd take your share but I don't 1262 01:24:26,340 --> 01:24:27,274 And going on! 1263 01:24:27,508 --> 01:24:29,308 - ♪ I must decline - ♪ So I object 1264 01:24:29,543 --> 01:24:31,211 - ♪ I must decline - ♪ So I object 1265 01:24:31,445 --> 01:24:32,947 - ♪ I'd take your share - ♪ So I object 1266 01:24:33,180 --> 01:24:35,249 - ♪ I'd take your share - ♪ So I object 1267 01:24:38,353 --> 01:24:40,822 ♪ To sit in solemn silence in a... 1268 01:24:41,057 --> 01:24:44,293 Gentlemen. "Un poco piú viva", hm? 1269 01:24:44,527 --> 01:24:47,931 Now, before the double-bar line, it's one, two, three, four. 1270 01:24:48,165 --> 01:24:50,700 And afterwards, one, two, three, four. 1271 01:24:50,934 --> 01:24:52,470 - Clear? - Very quiet. 1272 01:24:52,704 --> 01:24:55,507 From here, please. One, two, three, four. 1273 01:24:55,741 --> 01:24:58,610 ♪ Care, I don't much care, I don't much care 1274 01:24:58,844 --> 01:25:01,714 ♪ To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock 1275 01:25:01,948 --> 01:25:04,584 ♪ In a pestilential prison with a lifelong lock 1276 01:25:04,818 --> 01:25:07,353 ♪ Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock 1277 01:25:07,587 --> 01:25:10,324 ♪ From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big, black block 1278 01:25:10,592 --> 01:25:13,061 ♪ To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock 1279 01:25:13,294 --> 01:25:16,298 ♪ In a pestilential prison with a lifelong lock 1280 01:25:16,532 --> 01:25:18,968 ♪ Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock 1281 01:25:19,236 --> 01:25:21,938 ♪ From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big, black block 1282 01:25:22,172 --> 01:25:23,406 ♪ A dull, dark dock 1283 01:25:23,674 --> 01:25:24,808 ♪ A lifelong lock 1284 01:25:25,075 --> 01:25:26,176 ♪ A short, sharp shock 1285 01:25:26,410 --> 01:25:27,712 ♪ A big, black block 1286 01:25:27,946 --> 01:25:30,414 ♪ To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison 1287 01:25:30,648 --> 01:25:33,351 ♪ And awaiting the sensation from a cheap and chippy chopper 1288 01:25:33,585 --> 01:25:34,819 ♪ On a big 1289 01:25:35,053 --> 01:25:36,887 ♪ Black 1290 01:25:37,156 --> 01:25:39,826 ♪ Block 1291 01:25:40,059 --> 01:25:42,528 - Bravo! - Splendid! 1292 01:25:42,797 --> 01:25:45,065 Louis! Wir brauchen etwas Kaffee! 1293 01:25:45,299 --> 01:25:47,134 Your coffee is ready, Sir Arthur. 1294 01:25:47,368 --> 01:25:50,670 - My word! - First rate. 1295 01:25:50,905 --> 01:25:54,976 - Rutty, do go through. - Thanks, old chap. 1296 01:26:01,617 --> 01:26:03,853 Do one's hands remain within, Madame Leon? 1297 01:26:04,088 --> 01:26:06,656 Oh, no, my dear. No, no, no. Look! Here! 1298 01:26:06,890 --> 01:26:08,792 - Comme ça. - Oh, I see! 1299 01:26:09,027 --> 01:26:10,995 Voilá! 1300 01:26:11,229 --> 01:26:14,365 Are you still troubled by your understandings, Miss Bond? 1301 01:26:14,632 --> 01:26:17,836 - I'm in much pain this afternoon. - I'm so sorry to hear it. 1302 01:26:18,070 --> 01:26:21,373 Ah, trés jolie, trés jolie. Superbe! 1303 01:26:21,608 --> 01:26:23,477 Such exquisite embroidery. 1304 01:26:23,710 --> 01:26:25,845 What are you wearing underneath your gown? 1305 01:26:26,113 --> 01:26:27,515 Only my frillies. 1306 01:26:27,749 --> 01:26:30,217 Alas, no corsets, I'm afraid to say. 1307 01:26:30,452 --> 01:26:33,956 Shall we be revealing a little, Madame Leon? 1308 01:26:34,189 --> 01:26:37,325 - I certainly hope not, Miss Braham. - Oh, what a pity. 1309 01:26:37,594 --> 01:26:39,662 Do take care, Miss Morton! 1310 01:26:39,897 --> 01:26:42,099 Makes one rather drowsy. 1311 01:26:42,332 --> 01:26:45,568 - It does look comfortable, Sibyl. - Indeed it is. 1312 01:26:45,837 --> 01:26:49,574 La kimono! Doucement, doucement! Gently, gently. 1313 01:26:49,808 --> 01:26:52,309 Ooh, the silk is sublime, Madame Leon. 1314 01:26:52,544 --> 01:26:55,014 Indeed. From Mr Liberty's store, don't you know? 1315 01:26:55,247 --> 01:26:59,318 Bona fide Japanese, and just a soupçon from gai Paris. 1316 01:26:59,552 --> 01:27:02,422 - C'est magnifique! - Oui. 1317 01:27:02,657 --> 01:27:05,260 Is one to be prevented from wearing one's corset? 1318 01:27:05,493 --> 01:27:09,095 None of the ladies shall be wearing corsets during the performance. 1319 01:27:09,330 --> 01:27:13,035 - That's simply preposterous. - Our aim is to emulate Japanese ladies. 1320 01:27:13,268 --> 01:27:15,069 And they are as thin as threadpaper! 1321 01:27:15,304 --> 01:27:17,540 As a Roman column is opposed to a Grecian urn. 1322 01:27:17,774 --> 01:27:18,575 Quite so. 1323 01:27:18,809 --> 01:27:22,312 I fear for my reputation, don't you know? 1324 01:27:22,546 --> 01:27:24,548 I am following Mr Gilbert's instructions. 1325 01:27:24,782 --> 01:27:26,950 Mr Gilbert desires the Japanese appearance. 1326 01:27:27,184 --> 01:27:30,554 That which Mr Gilbert desires, Mr Gilbert must have. Fait accompli! 1327 01:27:30,789 --> 01:27:33,758 One can hardly cut a dash in this... dressing gown! 1328 01:27:33,993 --> 01:27:35,861 Do stop fussing, Jessie, please! 1329 01:27:36,094 --> 01:27:38,630 - It's delightful, Madame Leon! - Thank you. 1330 01:27:38,865 --> 01:27:41,468 - It's shapeless. - Yes, Miss Bond, it is shapeless. 1331 01:27:41,701 --> 01:27:44,270 Japanese ladies are most shapeless... 1332 01:27:44,505 --> 01:27:46,741 ...but there is no need for "you" to be shapeless. 1333 01:27:46,974 --> 01:27:49,877 I have devised a solution - if I may crave your indulgence. 1334 01:27:50,112 --> 01:27:53,615 Miss Morton... Miss Grey, would you kindly raise your arms? 1335 01:27:53,883 --> 01:27:56,986 Merci, merci! Now, the bow goes at the back. 1336 01:27:57,221 --> 01:27:59,555 The sash at the front, lined with calico. 1337 01:27:59,789 --> 01:28:02,793 Now... tournez. Tournez, s'il vous plaît. 1338 01:28:03,026 --> 01:28:05,929 Now, this may be laced as tightly as you require. 1339 01:28:06,196 --> 01:28:07,832 Tournez... á gauche, á gauche. 1340 01:28:08,066 --> 01:28:09,400 Oui. 1341 01:28:09,634 --> 01:28:13,271 So you see, in effect, it is a corset! 1342 01:28:13,505 --> 01:28:16,342 - Where's the whalebone? - There are no bones, Miss Bond. 1343 01:28:16,576 --> 01:28:19,981 Well, Madame Leon, I do fear that if there are no bones... 1344 01:28:20,214 --> 01:28:22,081 ...then it is plainly not a corset. 1345 01:28:22,315 --> 01:28:25,753 No, Miss Bond, it is not a corset, but it may serve for a corset. 1346 01:28:25,987 --> 01:28:27,789 It may give you the shape you desire. 1347 01:28:28,022 --> 01:28:29,958 Tighter, please, Miss Morton, tighter! 1348 01:28:30,192 --> 01:28:32,494 I cannot appear on stage without a corset. 1349 01:28:32,761 --> 01:28:35,098 It certainly feels like a corset, Jessie. 1350 01:28:35,332 --> 01:28:37,934 You do resemble a birthday gift. I could eat you. 1351 01:28:40,537 --> 01:28:44,675 Do forgive me, Miss Bond. One is working to the best of one's abilities. 1352 01:28:44,909 --> 01:28:48,313 I fear sometimes it is not appreciated. 1353 01:28:50,416 --> 01:28:53,952 - That is the "hori". Am I correct, Wilhelm? - Quite so, Mr Gilbert. 1354 01:28:54,186 --> 01:28:57,456 As opposed to the "zori", which is the stocking, is it not? 1355 01:28:57,725 --> 01:29:00,427 - The stockings are the "tarbi", sir. - Ah! "Tarbi". 1356 01:29:00,661 --> 01:29:03,630 - The sandals are the "zori". - Exactly, sir. 1357 01:29:03,864 --> 01:29:05,899 I'm beginning to get it, Grossmith. 1358 01:29:06,134 --> 01:29:08,070 - Mr Gilbert. - Lely? 1359 01:29:08,302 --> 01:29:11,374 Is this to be the length of my gown for Nanki-Poo? 1360 01:29:11,640 --> 01:29:14,109 - I believe so. Wilhelm? - Indeed it is. 1361 01:29:14,343 --> 01:29:15,144 Yes. 1362 01:29:15,378 --> 01:29:17,913 Do you not consider it to be perhaps... too short? 1363 01:29:18,148 --> 01:29:19,817 Too short for what? 1364 01:29:20,085 --> 01:29:24,355 For propriety. Might it not be rather unseemly? 1365 01:29:24,589 --> 01:29:28,493 - I'm sorry, unseemly to whom? - To the audience of the Savoy Theatre. 1366 01:29:28,760 --> 01:29:31,997 Hmm. I shouldn't have thought so. 1367 01:29:32,231 --> 01:29:33,832 In any case, I shall be the judge. 1368 01:29:34,066 --> 01:29:37,904 Rest assured, Mr Lely, my designs are properly researched and authentic. 1369 01:29:38,138 --> 01:29:41,675 No offence to you, Mr Wilhelm, but your properly authentic costume... 1370 01:29:41,910 --> 01:29:44,311 ...seems to have left me in the buff somewhat! 1371 01:29:44,545 --> 01:29:46,380 - Quite. - No more in the buff... 1372 01:29:46,615 --> 01:29:49,718 ...than Japanese peasants have been for the last 800 years. 1373 01:29:49,952 --> 01:29:54,323 May I draw your attention to the fact that I am not, actually, a Japanese peasant. 1374 01:29:54,557 --> 01:29:58,193 No. You're a Scotch actor, who is taking the part of a Japanese prince... 1375 01:29:58,428 --> 01:30:00,465 ...who is posing as an itinerant minstrel. 1376 01:30:00,699 --> 01:30:03,869 Lely, I would be only too happy for the tailor here... 1377 01:30:04,103 --> 01:30:08,073 ...to chop off some of my surplus and stitch it to your kilt. 1378 01:30:08,307 --> 01:30:11,311 Thank you, Grossmith. I'm sure we shall reap the benefits... 1379 01:30:11,545 --> 01:30:13,245 ...of your remonstrations in time. 1380 01:30:13,479 --> 01:30:17,384 Yes, GG. Do you not agree with me that this garment is rather vulgar? 1381 01:30:17,618 --> 01:30:19,420 I do, as it happens. 1382 01:30:19,687 --> 01:30:21,254 Mr Grossmith... 1383 01:30:21,522 --> 01:30:23,524 ...kindly oblige me by removing your hat. 1384 01:30:23,758 --> 01:30:25,593 Why, sir? Are you ready for me? 1385 01:30:25,828 --> 01:30:27,629 Would that I were, sir! 1386 01:30:27,863 --> 01:30:31,566 I'll thank you not to refer to my designs as vulgar, Mr Lely. 1387 01:30:31,801 --> 01:30:36,473 Mr Wilhelm, to my eyes, your designs are not only vulgar but obscene! 1388 01:30:36,707 --> 01:30:40,377 - How dare you, sir? - Strong words, Lely. What do you mean? 1389 01:30:40,645 --> 01:30:45,317 Mr Gilbert, I'm a respectably married man and I love my wife dearly. 1390 01:30:45,550 --> 01:30:47,752 One of the few pleasures she has enjoyed... 1391 01:30:47,986 --> 01:30:50,989 ...since the untimely demise of my beloved mother-in-law... 1392 01:30:51,224 --> 01:30:53,559 ...has been to watch me perform upon the stage. 1393 01:30:53,793 --> 01:30:58,264 But I am not prepared to allow her to suffer the embarrassment of seeing me... 1394 01:30:58,498 --> 01:31:04,672 ...flaunted before the public like a... half-dressed performing dog! 1395 01:31:04,806 --> 01:31:06,640 You have my sympathies, Lely. 1396 01:31:06,875 --> 01:31:09,311 But, unfortunately, your avocation as an actor... 1397 01:31:09,545 --> 01:31:14,050 ...compels you on occasion to endure the most ignominious indignities... 1398 01:31:14,284 --> 01:31:16,386 ...as Grossmith will doubtless testify. 1399 01:31:16,620 --> 01:31:19,556 - Without question, sir. - Mr Lely, let me be clear. 1400 01:31:19,790 --> 01:31:22,059 I will not alter one stitch of your costume... 1401 01:31:22,326 --> 01:31:24,763 ...to protect the sensibilities of your wife... 1402 01:31:24,997 --> 01:31:28,199 ...your children or any other member of your unfortunate family. 1403 01:31:28,434 --> 01:31:32,004 Mr Wilhelm, I would strongly advise you not to speak of my family... 1404 01:31:32,238 --> 01:31:34,073 ...in such a despicable manner! 1405 01:31:34,307 --> 01:31:36,041 Sir. 1406 01:31:36,276 --> 01:31:38,078 Will you remove your corset? 1407 01:31:38,312 --> 01:31:41,115 I beg your pardon?! 1408 01:31:41,349 --> 01:31:43,183 Kindly remove your corset, Mr Lely. 1409 01:31:43,418 --> 01:31:47,190 It'll spoil the hang of the cloth. 1410 01:31:49,026 --> 01:31:50,960 Mr Gilbert. 1411 01:31:51,193 --> 01:31:53,062 I never perform without my corset. 1412 01:31:53,329 --> 01:31:56,666 - What, never? - I'm afraid not, sir. 1413 01:31:56,901 --> 01:31:58,769 Why not? 1414 01:31:59,003 --> 01:32:01,640 One cannot produce the required vocal vigour... 1415 01:32:01,873 --> 01:32:04,543 ...without the necessary diaphragmatical support... 1416 01:32:04,811 --> 01:32:06,545 ...that the corset affords. 1417 01:32:06,811 --> 01:32:09,381 Come, come, Lely. This is not grand opera in Milan. 1418 01:32:09,649 --> 01:32:13,085 It is merely low burlesque in a small theatre on the banks of the Thames. 1419 01:32:13,319 --> 01:32:14,988 You have a fine, strong voice... 1420 01:32:15,222 --> 01:32:18,726 ...which is more than adequate for our purposes, corset or no corset. 1421 01:32:18,960 --> 01:32:20,962 Kindly remove it this instant. 1422 01:32:21,195 --> 01:32:23,397 You may retire behind the screen, if you wish. 1423 01:32:23,631 --> 01:32:25,267 Very well, sir. 1424 01:32:25,501 --> 01:32:27,369 But, may I just say... 1425 01:32:27,603 --> 01:32:30,406 ...that in five years of loyal service to this company... 1426 01:32:30,640 --> 01:32:32,943 ...I have never, until now, lodged a complaint. 1427 01:32:33,210 --> 01:32:37,213 Your noble restraint has been much appreciated. 1428 01:32:37,448 --> 01:32:39,952 Thank you, sir. 1429 01:32:43,621 --> 01:32:45,991 ♪ A wandering minstrel I 1430 01:32:46,225 --> 01:32:50,331 ♪ A thing of shreds and patches 1431 01:32:50,564 --> 01:32:53,466 ♪ Of ballads, songs and snatches 1432 01:32:53,734 --> 01:32:57,271 ♪ And dreamy lullaby 1433 01:32:57,505 --> 01:32:59,841 ♪ My catalogue is long 1434 01:33:00,075 --> 01:33:03,912 ♪ Though every passion ranging 1435 01:33:04,146 --> 01:33:07,482 ♪ And to your humours changing 1436 01:33:07,716 --> 01:33:12,121 ♪ I tune my supple song 1437 01:33:12,356 --> 01:33:21,532 ♪ I tune my supple song 1438 01:33:22,034 --> 01:33:26,405 ♪ Are you in sentimental mood? 1439 01:33:26,639 --> 01:33:28,874 ♪ I'll sigh with you 1440 01:33:30,711 --> 01:33:33,814 ♪ Oh 1441 01:33:34,048 --> 01:33:37,518 ♪ Sorrow 1442 01:33:37,752 --> 01:33:42,090 ♪ On maiden's coldness do you brood? 1443 01:33:42,324 --> 01:33:46,095 ♪ I'll do so, too 1444 01:33:46,329 --> 01:33:51,167 ♪ Oh, sorrow 1445 01:33:51,402 --> 01:33:55,072 ♪ Sorrow 1446 01:33:55,306 --> 01:33:57,709 ♪ I'll charm your willing ears 1447 01:33:57,976 --> 01:34:03,081 ♪ With songs of lovers' fears 1448 01:34:03,315 --> 01:34:07,052 ♪ While sympathetic tears 1449 01:34:07,286 --> 01:34:11,358 ♪ My cheeks bedew 1450 01:34:11,593 --> 01:34:16,798 ♪ Oh, sorrow 1451 01:34:17,031 --> 01:34:22,237 ♪ Sorrow 1452 01:34:22,471 --> 01:34:23,706 Thank you, Seymour! 1453 01:34:23,973 --> 01:34:27,644 Miss Sixpence Please, would you kindly come along with me? 1454 01:34:27,877 --> 01:34:29,278 Make haste, make haste! 1455 01:34:29,513 --> 01:34:31,348 - Johnny. - Thank you very much. 1456 01:34:31,616 --> 01:34:35,552 Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you all to Miss Sixpence Please? 1457 01:34:35,786 --> 01:34:39,557 You may have heard me speak of her with reverence and respect. Thank you. 1458 01:34:39,791 --> 01:34:41,794 Very good. Make yourselves comfortable. 1459 01:34:42,027 --> 01:34:43,895 Please be seated. Thank you. 1460 01:34:44,130 --> 01:34:46,833 Ah! Sir! My apologies. I've been neglecting you. 1461 01:34:47,100 --> 01:34:48,935 Would you like to come this way? 1462 01:34:49,169 --> 01:34:51,871 No, it's all right, Seymour. He can use your chair. 1463 01:34:52,139 --> 01:34:53,974 Here you are, sir. Be seated here. 1464 01:34:54,209 --> 01:34:57,512 Very good indeed. Pride of place, sir! Make yourself comfortable. 1465 01:34:57,780 --> 01:34:59,414 Cellier! 1466 01:34:59,647 --> 01:35:01,283 Yes. Now. 1467 01:35:01,517 --> 01:35:05,721 D'Auban! Will you kindly withdraw to the side of the stage immediately? 1468 01:35:05,955 --> 01:35:07,957 - Johnny! - Thank you, "Monsieur" D'Auban! 1469 01:35:08,191 --> 01:35:10,293 Ladies, will you take up your fans, please? 1470 01:35:10,528 --> 01:35:13,565 What I'd like you to do, sir, is to observe the proceedings. 1471 01:35:13,798 --> 01:35:17,034 Would you give all your attention to the performance? Thank you. 1472 01:35:17,269 --> 01:35:19,238 Barker, what are you doing? Joining in? 1473 01:35:19,471 --> 01:35:23,309 My dancing days are long over, Mr Gilbert. 1474 01:35:23,575 --> 01:35:25,410 Over, Barker, but not forgotten. 1475 01:35:25,645 --> 01:35:27,781 Ladies, opening attitudes, s'il vous plaît. 1476 01:35:28,014 --> 01:35:30,618 From the beginning, counting two bars, Mrs Russell. 1477 01:35:30,852 --> 01:35:35,656 - Thank you. - One, two. Two, two. 1478 01:35:43,966 --> 01:35:45,635 ♪ Three little maids from school are we 1479 01:35:45,868 --> 01:35:47,871 ♪ Pert as a schoolgirl well can be 1480 01:35:48,139 --> 01:35:50,940 ♪ Filled to the brim with girlish glee 1481 01:35:51,174 --> 01:35:52,810 - ♪ Three little maids from school - Fans! 1482 01:35:53,044 --> 01:35:55,847 ♪ Everything is a source of fun 1483 01:35:56,081 --> 01:36:00,252 ♪ Nobody's safe, for we care for none 1484 01:36:00,486 --> 01:36:04,725 ♪ Life is a joke that's just begun 1485 01:36:05,492 --> 01:36:07,394 ♪ Three little maids from school 1486 01:36:07,661 --> 01:36:09,863 All fans rising slowly... 1487 01:36:10,098 --> 01:36:12,801 - And! - ♪ Three little maids who all unwary 1488 01:36:13,034 --> 01:36:15,403 Stop! Thank you very much! Now, Miss Sixpence... 1489 01:36:15,637 --> 01:36:17,973 Carte! I beg your pardon. 1490 01:36:18,208 --> 01:36:20,276 Let me introduce our Japanese guests. 1491 01:36:20,542 --> 01:36:23,512 Ladies. Mr D'Oyly Carte. Our proprietor. 1492 01:36:23,780 --> 01:36:25,816 - Please continue. - Thank you very much. 1493 01:36:26,050 --> 01:36:28,084 Now. Miss Sixpence Please. 1494 01:36:28,318 --> 01:36:30,487 That performance that you have witnessed... 1495 01:36:30,721 --> 01:36:34,559 ...was not even remotely Japanese. Am I right? 1496 01:36:35,161 --> 01:36:37,128 Japanese. 1497 01:36:39,432 --> 01:36:42,302 - Sir. Japanese? - Japanese. 1498 01:36:42,536 --> 01:36:44,570 - No. - No. 1499 01:36:44,804 --> 01:36:47,174 - Thank you very much. - Excuse me, Mr Gilbert, sir. 1500 01:36:47,408 --> 01:36:50,177 - Japanese. - Japanese. 1501 01:36:50,410 --> 01:36:52,479 - Yes. - Yes. 1502 01:36:52,713 --> 01:36:56,518 - He hasn't got any idea what you mean. - That's blatantly obvious, D'Auban! 1503 01:36:56,753 --> 01:36:59,488 - Parlate italiano? - If he doesn't speak English... 1504 01:36:59,722 --> 01:37:01,724 ...he's hardly likely to speak Italian! 1505 01:37:01,958 --> 01:37:03,393 I beg your pardon, Mr Gilbert. 1506 01:37:03,660 --> 01:37:05,561 Porca miseria! Non posso lavorare cosí! 1507 01:37:05,795 --> 01:37:07,298 It's a waste of time! 1508 01:37:07,532 --> 01:37:10,801 If you three ladies come with me, please. 1509 01:37:11,035 --> 01:37:14,172 Please go to the back of the stage. Thank you. 1510 01:37:14,406 --> 01:37:17,443 Yes, yes. Come upstage. As quickly as you can. Come along. 1511 01:37:17,677 --> 01:37:20,412 Thank you. 1512 01:37:20,646 --> 01:37:23,049 - Thank you. - Thank you very much indeed. 1513 01:37:23,283 --> 01:37:25,652 One, two, three. 1514 01:37:25,886 --> 01:37:27,655 Very good. Thank you. 1515 01:37:27,888 --> 01:37:30,824 Now, what I would like you to do when the music commences... 1516 01:37:31,059 --> 01:37:33,062 ...I would like you to advance downstage. 1517 01:37:33,295 --> 01:37:34,897 Thank you very much. 1518 01:37:35,131 --> 01:37:37,999 - Cellier. - One, two. Two, two. 1519 01:37:38,267 --> 01:37:42,305 - Off you go. Come along. 1520 01:37:42,540 --> 01:37:43,640 Stop, stop! 1521 01:37:43,907 --> 01:37:46,777 Will this take long? I'm to arrange a mazurka at four o'clock. 1522 01:37:47,012 --> 01:37:48,847 I have not made myself clear. 1523 01:37:49,081 --> 01:37:53,017 When Mrs Russell commences playing the pianoforte, diddle-dum, diddle-dee... 1524 01:37:53,251 --> 01:37:56,888 ...what I would like you to do is to advance downstage. 1525 01:37:57,123 --> 01:37:59,826 Comme ça, diddle-dum, diddle-dee. 1526 01:38:00,059 --> 01:38:03,463 Do you understand? I think you do. Let's try once more. 1527 01:38:03,697 --> 01:38:04,965 Cellier! 1528 01:38:05,199 --> 01:38:07,935 - One, two. Two, two. 1529 01:38:08,169 --> 01:38:11,506 Come along. That's it. Very good! 1530 01:38:11,740 --> 01:38:14,976 Excellent! That is exactly it! Thank you very much indeed! 1531 01:38:15,210 --> 01:38:16,645 Excellent! First rate. 1532 01:38:16,879 --> 01:38:18,947 Thank you very much indeed. 1533 01:38:19,182 --> 01:38:20,884 D'Auban, that is exactly what I want. 1534 01:38:21,117 --> 01:38:23,920 I do beg your pardon, but I appear to have missed the point. 1535 01:38:24,188 --> 01:38:27,358 - That is the very effect I need. - And what effect exactly is that? 1536 01:38:27,626 --> 01:38:29,726 - What did they do? - They walked downstage. 1537 01:38:29,961 --> 01:38:32,497 They appeared to me to be ambling along the Strand. 1538 01:38:32,731 --> 01:38:35,734 They walked downstage in the Japanese manner! 1539 01:38:35,968 --> 01:38:39,039 They walked in the Japanese manner because they are Japanese. 1540 01:38:39,306 --> 01:38:42,743 Exactly! And that is precisely why they are here. 1541 01:38:42,976 --> 01:38:45,946 Our maids are not Japanese. However, they are very funny. 1542 01:38:46,180 --> 01:38:50,250 No funnier, however, than they would be if they all sat down on pork pies. 1543 01:38:50,485 --> 01:38:53,188 - Young fella-me-lad, Mr Gilbert, sir. 1544 01:38:53,421 --> 01:38:55,891 I've arranged Terpsichore, Chinese, Japanese... 1545 01:38:56,125 --> 01:38:58,427 ...for pantomime, burlesque and the ballet... 1546 01:38:58,661 --> 01:39:00,830 ...for many a season, always to great acclaim. 1547 01:39:01,064 --> 01:39:03,500 D'Auban... this is not low burlesque. 1548 01:39:03,734 --> 01:39:07,404 This is an entirely original Japanese opera. 1549 01:39:07,638 --> 01:39:11,576 Miss Bond, Miss Braham and Miss Grey, kindly resume your opening positions! 1550 01:39:11,811 --> 01:39:14,881 Please be seated once more. Please be seated. Thank you. 1551 01:39:15,147 --> 01:39:17,851 Thank you! 1552 01:39:18,084 --> 01:39:21,420 Come along! Come along, tortoise! Quickly, quickly! 1553 01:39:21,654 --> 01:39:24,825 What I would like you to do now is to perform it... 1554 01:39:25,059 --> 01:39:28,328 ...just as you have seen our guests perform it. Thank you very much. 1555 01:39:28,563 --> 01:39:30,398 - Mr Gilbert! - Yes, Jessie. 1556 01:39:30,666 --> 01:39:34,203 - Is that "exactly" as we have just seen? - Exactly! 1557 01:39:34,470 --> 01:39:37,205 Without using "Monsieur" D'Auban's steps, Mr Gilbert? 1558 01:39:37,439 --> 01:39:40,009 I want you to perform it precisely as you have seen... 1559 01:39:40,244 --> 01:39:43,046 ...our Japanese friends perform it. Thank you very much! 1560 01:39:43,280 --> 01:39:46,650 - Exactement. C'est pas difficile. - Very slowly and very boringly. 1561 01:39:46,885 --> 01:39:48,387 One, two. Two, two. 1562 01:39:52,658 --> 01:39:54,426 Very good! 1563 01:39:54,660 --> 01:39:56,529 First rate. 1564 01:39:56,763 --> 01:39:59,331 That is exactly right. Thank you very much indeed! 1565 01:39:59,566 --> 01:40:03,739 That's as funny as when me tights caught fire in Harlequin Meets ltchity-Switch. 1566 01:40:03,971 --> 01:40:05,705 Decorum in rehearsal, D'Auban. 1567 01:40:05,940 --> 01:40:07,775 That's the way, yes! 1568 01:40:08,009 --> 01:40:11,013 Very good indeed. 1569 01:40:11,247 --> 01:40:13,248 Try them together, try them together. 1570 01:40:13,482 --> 01:40:15,984 Three of them, do it all together. The same noise. 1571 01:40:16,218 --> 01:40:17,754 One, two, three! 1572 01:40:17,988 --> 01:40:19,823 Ah! Excellent! 1573 01:40:29,167 --> 01:40:30,803 ♪ Three little maids from school are we 1574 01:40:31,070 --> 01:40:32,905 ♪ Pert as a schoolgirl well can be 1575 01:40:33,139 --> 01:40:35,741 ♪ Filled to the brim with girlish glee 1576 01:40:35,975 --> 01:40:36,809 ♪ Three little maids from school 1577 01:40:37,043 --> 01:40:40,548 ♪ Everything is a source of fun 1578 01:40:41,382 --> 01:40:44,552 ♪ Nobody's safe for we care for none 1579 01:40:44,786 --> 01:40:48,324 ♪ Life is a joke that's just begun 1580 01:40:49,391 --> 01:40:53,229 ♪ Three little maids from school 1581 01:40:54,030 --> 01:40:55,865 ♪ Three little maids who all unwary 1582 01:40:56,100 --> 01:40:58,068 ♪ Come from a ladies' seminary 1583 01:40:58,302 --> 01:41:00,737 ♪ Freed from its genius tutelary 1584 01:41:00,971 --> 01:41:02,806 ♪ Three little maids from school 1585 01:41:03,075 --> 01:41:07,245 ♪ Three little maids from school 1586 01:41:11,050 --> 01:41:12,850 ♪ One little maid is a bride, Yum-Yum 1587 01:41:13,085 --> 01:41:14,888 ♪ Two little maids in attendance come 1588 01:41:15,154 --> 01:41:16,923 ♪ Three little maids is the total sum 1589 01:41:16,291 --> 01:41:20,661 ♪ Three little maids from school 1590 01:41:20,860 --> 01:41:22,996 ♪ From three little maids take one away 1591 01:41:23,231 --> 01:41:24,899 ♪ Two little maids remain and they 1592 01:41:25,133 --> 01:41:26,968 ♪ Won't have to wait very long, they say 1593 01:41:27,236 --> 01:41:29,070 ♪ Three little maids from school 1594 01:41:29,305 --> 01:41:31,207 ♪ Three little maids from school 1595 01:41:31,474 --> 01:41:33,109 ♪ Three little maids who all unwary 1596 01:41:33,343 --> 01:41:35,112 ♪ Come from a ladies' seminary 1597 01:41:35,345 --> 01:41:37,581 ♪ Freed from its genius tutelary 1598 01:41:37,815 --> 01:41:39,784 ♪ Three little maids from school 1599 01:41:40,018 --> 01:41:45,223 ♪ Three little maids from school 1600 01:41:49,095 --> 01:41:51,263 Laughing, ha ha, chaffing, ha ha 1601 01:41:51,497 --> 01:41:53,131 Nectar quaffing, ha ha ha haa, 1602 01:41:53,366 --> 01:41:55,868 But condemned to die is he, 1603 01:41:56,103 --> 01:41:59,106 Wretched meritorious B. 1604 01:41:59,339 --> 01:42:01,808 Mikado leads Katisha off. 1605 01:42:02,077 --> 01:42:06,214 Off, up the stairs... 1606 01:42:08,150 --> 01:42:10,553 Thus... the traditional Japanese posture... 1607 01:42:10,787 --> 01:42:14,389 ...as adopted by well-meaning but misguided underlings... 1608 01:42:14,623 --> 01:42:17,193 ...upon the departure of their august superiors. 1609 01:42:17,428 --> 01:42:21,131 - Thank you. - Is that a recognised Japanese attitude? 1610 01:42:21,399 --> 01:42:25,238 Not as yet, Grossmith. But I have every confidence that it will become one. 1611 01:42:25,471 --> 01:42:27,039 Much obliged. 1612 01:42:27,273 --> 01:42:31,209 I'm sure I've seen this on a vase somewhere. 1613 01:42:32,613 --> 01:42:34,715 Jessie. 1614 01:42:34,949 --> 01:42:38,218 Thank you, Mr Gilbert. 1615 01:42:38,753 --> 01:42:41,423 Ha! A pretty picture! Eh, Seymour? 1616 01:42:41,657 --> 01:42:44,392 Charming, sir. 1617 01:42:44,626 --> 01:42:48,932 The Mikado has left. Grossmith. 1618 01:42:49,500 --> 01:42:53,237 Well... another fine mess you've got us into. 1619 01:42:53,470 --> 01:42:56,574 No! My line is, 'A nice mess you've got us into.' 1620 01:42:56,840 --> 01:43:00,010 And I should be much obliged if you would play it comme ça. 1621 01:43:00,278 --> 01:43:03,815 Well... a nice mess you've got us into. 1622 01:43:04,049 --> 01:43:07,553 Righto, sir. 1623 01:43:09,256 --> 01:43:12,393 - Well... - No! Well... 1624 01:43:12,626 --> 01:43:13,960 Well... 1625 01:43:14,194 --> 01:43:17,097 ...a nice mess you've got us into... 1626 01:43:17,331 --> 01:43:21,502 ...with your nodding head and the deference due to a man of pedigree. 1627 01:43:21,736 --> 01:43:25,340 Mr Grossmith, you are under sentence of death... 1628 01:43:25,574 --> 01:43:27,675 ...by something lingering. 1629 01:43:27,910 --> 01:43:30,347 Either boiling oil or melted lead. 1630 01:43:30,581 --> 01:43:34,818 Kindly bear that in mind. Thank you. 1631 01:43:35,052 --> 01:43:37,521 Well, a nice mess you've got us into... 1632 01:43:37,755 --> 01:43:42,361 ...with your nodding head and the deference due to a man of pedigree. 1633 01:43:42,595 --> 01:43:44,596 Merely corroborative detail... 1634 01:43:44,830 --> 01:43:48,268 ...intended to give artistic verisimilitude... 1635 01:43:48,502 --> 01:43:51,037 ...to a bald and unconvincing narrative. 1636 01:43:51,271 --> 01:43:55,275 No, Barrington. An "otherwise" bald and unconvincing narrative. 1637 01:43:55,509 --> 01:43:58,077 Was that incorrect? I do beg your pardon. 1638 01:43:58,312 --> 01:44:00,214 No, sir. It has only just occurred to me. 1639 01:44:00,482 --> 01:44:04,620 Oh! To an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative. 1640 01:44:04,855 --> 01:44:08,024 - Much better. - Corrobatative detail indeed! 1641 01:44:08,258 --> 01:44:12,196 - Corroborative detail. - Corrobatative. 1642 01:44:12,430 --> 01:44:15,132 - Corroborative. - Corroborative. 1643 01:44:15,400 --> 01:44:17,468 - Corroborative. - Corroborative. 1644 01:44:17,703 --> 01:44:19,103 Thank you. 1645 01:44:19,337 --> 01:44:21,238 Splendid! 1646 01:44:21,473 --> 01:44:23,308 Corroborative detail indeed! 1647 01:44:23,543 --> 01:44:25,745 Corroborative fiddlestick! 1648 01:44:25,978 --> 01:44:28,347 And "you're" just as bad as he is... 1649 01:44:28,581 --> 01:44:31,150 ...with your cock-and-bull stories. - Cock and "a" bull. 1650 01:44:31,385 --> 01:44:35,756 Cock and a bull about catching his eye. 1651 01:44:35,990 --> 01:44:38,627 - Line? - And his whistling an air. 1652 01:44:38,861 --> 01:44:41,697 - And his whistling hair! 1653 01:44:41,965 --> 01:44:45,668 - Boiling oil, Grossmith. Melted lead. - Beg pardon, sir. 1654 01:44:45,902 --> 01:44:48,839 About catching his eye, and his whistling an air. 1655 01:44:49,072 --> 01:44:52,308 But that's so like you! You must stick your oar in. 1656 01:44:52,542 --> 01:44:56,914 - You must put in your oar. - Over again. 1657 01:44:57,149 --> 01:44:59,350 And "you're" just as bad as he is... 1658 01:44:59,584 --> 01:45:03,222 ...with your cock-and-a-bull stories about catching his eye... 1659 01:45:03,457 --> 01:45:05,257 ...and his whistling an air. 1660 01:45:05,525 --> 01:45:08,361 But that's so like you. You must put your oar in. 1661 01:45:08,595 --> 01:45:11,832 - You must put in your oar. - Over again. 1662 01:45:12,066 --> 01:45:14,468 You're just as bad as he is, with your cock-and-a-bull stories... 1663 01:45:14,702 --> 01:45:16,705 ...about catching his eye and his whistling an air! 1664 01:45:16,939 --> 01:45:18,908 But that's so like you. You must put in your oar! 1665 01:45:19,141 --> 01:45:23,645 - But how about your big right arm? - Yes, and your snickersnee. 1666 01:45:23,879 --> 01:45:26,415 Well, well, never mind that now. 1667 01:45:26,684 --> 01:45:30,120 There's only one thing to be done. Nanki-Poo hasn't started yet. 1668 01:45:30,354 --> 01:45:34,425 He must come to life again at once! 1669 01:45:34,659 --> 01:45:36,493 Appear! Appear! 1670 01:45:36,762 --> 01:45:38,229 - ♪ Appear! 1671 01:45:38,463 --> 01:45:41,100 Yes, now. Since Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum have decided... 1672 01:45:41,367 --> 01:45:43,402 ...not to grace us with their presence... 1673 01:45:43,636 --> 01:45:50,176 ...it would transpire, Mr Seymour, that your moment of glory has finally arrived. 1674 01:45:50,477 --> 01:45:53,547 On your feet, slopkins! 1675 01:46:00,188 --> 01:46:02,424 Whence would you like us both to enter, sir? 1676 01:46:02,658 --> 01:46:06,162 The honeymoon couple appear at the upstage right entrance... 1677 01:46:06,396 --> 01:46:10,033 ...travelling in a westerly direction towards Knightsbridge. 1678 01:46:10,267 --> 01:46:12,903 But your journey is interrupted by Mr Grossmith. 1679 01:46:13,137 --> 01:46:14,438 - Mr Gilbert. - Jessie. 1680 01:46:14,672 --> 01:46:17,342 - Might I use my stick? - By all means. Are you troubled? 1681 01:46:17,610 --> 01:46:19,444 I'm quite all right, thank you. 1682 01:46:19,679 --> 01:46:21,847 - Well, well. - Well, well. 1683 01:46:22,080 --> 01:46:24,183 Well, well, never mind that now! 1684 01:46:24,417 --> 01:46:26,185 There's only one thing to be done. 1685 01:46:26,420 --> 01:46:28,521 Nanki-Poo hasn't started yet. 1686 01:46:28,755 --> 01:46:31,591 He must come to life again... at once! 1687 01:46:31,825 --> 01:46:34,929 - Here he comes. 1688 01:46:35,162 --> 01:46:39,200 'Ere... Nanki-Poo! 1689 01:46:40,169 --> 01:46:43,105 I've good news for you. You're reprieved. 1690 01:46:43,339 --> 01:46:46,943 I beg your pardon, Mr Gilbert. I have failed to provide a valise. 1691 01:46:47,177 --> 01:46:50,713 Indeed, Seymour. And you have also failed to provide two actors. 1692 01:46:50,947 --> 01:46:54,085 Pray continue. 1693 01:46:54,419 --> 01:46:56,988 Oh! But it's too late! 1694 01:46:57,222 --> 01:46:59,324 - I'm a dead man and I'm off... 1695 01:46:59,559 --> 01:47:00,926 ...for my honeymoon. 1696 01:47:01,160 --> 01:47:02,428 Uncanny, is it not? 1697 01:47:02,663 --> 01:47:07,433 Mr Seymour, please inform Mr Lely that his services will no longer be required. 1698 01:47:07,667 --> 01:47:09,436 Thank you very much, sir. 1699 01:47:09,671 --> 01:47:11,639 Nonsense! 1700 01:47:11,873 --> 01:47:14,742 A terrible thing has 'appened. You're the son of the Mikado! 1701 01:47:15,010 --> 01:47:17,912 A terrible thing "has" happened! You've become a cockney! 1702 01:47:18,146 --> 01:47:21,482 I thought one would suggest something of his lowly station... 1703 01:47:21,717 --> 01:47:23,519 ...being a cheap tailor and all. 1704 01:47:23,753 --> 01:47:27,423 Rubbish! We're in Japan, not Stepney or Bow. Do it properly. 1705 01:47:27,691 --> 01:47:29,526 Oh. Very well. 1706 01:47:29,760 --> 01:47:35,299 Nonsense. A terrible thing has happened. It seems you're the son of the Mikado. 1707 01:47:35,567 --> 01:47:38,504 Yes! But that happened some time ago. 1708 01:47:38,771 --> 01:47:41,508 Is this a time for airy persiflidge? 1709 01:47:41,742 --> 01:47:43,142 Persiflage, Grossmith. 1710 01:47:43,410 --> 01:47:45,144 - Is it? - It is. 1711 01:47:45,412 --> 01:47:47,914 Is this a time for airy persiflage? 1712 01:47:48,149 --> 01:47:49,784 Doesn't sound right to me. 1713 01:47:50,051 --> 01:47:52,486 Persiflage, mirage, fromage. 1714 01:47:52,720 --> 01:47:55,023 - Decoupage. - Exactly. 1715 01:47:55,291 --> 01:47:57,360 Your father is here... 1716 01:47:57,593 --> 01:47:59,428 ...and with Ka-tisha. 1717 01:47:59,662 --> 01:48:03,232 - Katisha. - It amuses me to say Ka-tisha. 1718 01:48:03,467 --> 01:48:06,603 It doesn't amuse me, Grossmith. Nor does it scan. 1719 01:48:06,837 --> 01:48:10,141 My father? And with Katisha?! 1720 01:48:10,408 --> 01:48:12,142 Yes, he wants you particularly. 1721 01:48:12,411 --> 01:48:16,315 So does she. 1722 01:48:17,116 --> 01:48:19,118 - Ooh, but he's married now! 1723 01:48:19,352 --> 01:48:21,920 But bless my heart, what has that to do with it? 1724 01:48:22,155 --> 01:48:28,328 Katisha claims me in marriage, but I can't marry her because I'm married already. 1725 01:48:28,562 --> 01:48:32,133 Consequently, she will insist on my execution... 1726 01:48:32,367 --> 01:48:38,507 ...and if I'm executed, my wife will have to be buried alive. 1727 01:48:38,909 --> 01:48:41,344 You see our difficulty. 1728 01:48:41,612 --> 01:48:46,717 - Yes, I don't know what's to be done. - Make as to leave. Stop him. 1729 01:48:46,851 --> 01:48:48,686 There's one chance for you. 1730 01:48:48,920 --> 01:48:51,655 If you could persuade Katisha to marry you... 1731 01:48:51,889 --> 01:48:54,560 ...she would have no further claim on me. 1732 01:48:54,794 --> 01:48:59,465 And in that case, I could come to life without any fear of being put to death. 1733 01:48:59,732 --> 01:49:01,867 I? Marry Katisha? 1734 01:49:02,136 --> 01:49:05,371 I really think it's the only course. 1735 01:49:05,605 --> 01:49:08,609 My good girl, have you seen her? She's something awful. 1736 01:49:08,843 --> 01:49:10,678 - Appalling. - Something appalling. 1737 01:49:10,912 --> 01:49:13,447 Ah... that's only her "face". 1738 01:49:13,682 --> 01:49:15,517 Ah, that's "only" her face. 1739 01:49:15,750 --> 01:49:18,153 She has a left elbow which people come miles to see. 1740 01:49:18,387 --> 01:49:21,590 I'm told her right heeeeel is much admired by connoisseuuuurs. 1741 01:49:21,825 --> 01:49:25,596 Could we do that line again, Barrington? This time, try it in English. 1742 01:49:25,829 --> 01:49:29,433 I'm told her right heel is much admired by connoisseurs. 1743 01:49:29,668 --> 01:49:30,936 That better, sir? 1744 01:49:31,170 --> 01:49:32,570 Marginally. 1745 01:49:32,804 --> 01:49:37,676 My good sir, I decline to pin my heart upon any lady's right heel. 1746 01:49:37,911 --> 01:49:39,847 Make as to leave. 1747 01:49:40,080 --> 01:49:41,481 Stop him. 1748 01:49:41,716 --> 01:49:47,922 It comes to this. While Katisha is single, I prefer to be a disembodied spirit. 1749 01:49:48,156 --> 01:49:50,190 When Katisha is married... 1750 01:49:50,424 --> 01:49:53,695 ...existence will be as welcome as the flowers in spring. 1751 01:49:53,930 --> 01:49:55,031 Tra la. 1752 01:49:55,298 --> 01:49:58,199 Very good. Over again, if you please. 1753 01:50:07,679 --> 01:50:11,816 - And! 1754 01:50:45,289 --> 01:50:46,991 Thank you, gentlemen. 1755 01:50:47,259 --> 01:50:49,794 Not surprisingly... 1756 01:50:50,061 --> 01:50:54,967 ...we were somewhat foxed by the abbreviated, er... restatement. 1757 01:50:55,201 --> 01:50:57,770 Er... letter A. 1758 01:50:58,004 --> 01:51:00,974 Discord bordering on cacophony. Second fiddles? 1759 01:51:01,209 --> 01:51:04,646 - Indeed, Sir Arthur. - My mistake. I do beg your pardon. 1760 01:51:04,880 --> 01:51:07,315 - My error, sir. - I suspect we were a trifle early. 1761 01:51:07,549 --> 01:51:10,219 Indeed you were, Mr Harris. And more than a trifle. 1762 01:51:10,452 --> 01:51:12,321 I really don't mind whose mistake... 1763 01:51:12,555 --> 01:51:18,127 ...it was, Mr Plank, as long as it doesn't happen again. 1764 01:51:18,362 --> 01:51:22,833 The entry is on the third beat of the bar, not the first. I think that's quite clear. 1765 01:51:23,100 --> 01:51:24,535 - Yes, sir. - It is, sir, yes. 1766 01:51:24,770 --> 01:51:25,804 Very good. 1767 01:51:26,038 --> 01:51:29,441 And now, we return to Mr Hurley. 1768 01:51:29,675 --> 01:51:34,413 - Good morning, Mr Hurley! - Good morning, Doctor Sullivan. 1769 01:51:34,881 --> 01:51:37,283 You was late, Mr 'Urley. 1770 01:51:39,687 --> 01:51:42,023 My profuse apologies to you, sir. 1771 01:51:42,257 --> 01:51:43,558 Thank you. 1772 01:51:43,792 --> 01:51:46,561 I assumed it to be an error on the part of the copyist. 1773 01:51:46,795 --> 01:51:49,231 The second beat of the previous bar appeared... 1774 01:51:49,499 --> 01:51:52,501 ...to me to be masquerading as the first beat of the next. 1775 01:51:52,735 --> 01:51:54,971 Most alarming! But it was not. 1776 01:51:55,205 --> 01:51:58,374 Oh, indeed not, for which I do apologise, Doctor Sullivan. 1777 01:51:58,608 --> 01:52:01,978 Mr Hurley, once again - saving your blushes, maestro - 1778 01:52:02,212 --> 01:52:05,115 ...Dr Sullivan is dead. Long live Sir Arthur. 1779 01:52:05,383 --> 01:52:08,053 Thank you, Mr Cellier. 1780 01:52:08,286 --> 01:52:10,488 - Mr Tripp. - Sir? 1781 01:52:10,723 --> 01:52:13,658 Owing to the somewhat tardy entry of Mr Hurley... 1782 01:52:13,892 --> 01:52:16,128 ...you, quite understandably, followed suit. 1783 01:52:16,363 --> 01:52:17,264 Absolutely, sir. 1784 01:52:17,498 --> 01:52:21,968 So assuming that Mr Hurley "does" enter at the correct place, you will too. 1785 01:52:22,203 --> 01:52:25,540 - Assuming he does, sir, I will, sir. - Very good. 1786 01:52:25,774 --> 01:52:27,541 - Thank you, Mr Tripp! - Thank you, sir. 1787 01:52:27,776 --> 01:52:30,646 - Capital! Er, gentlemen... 1788 01:52:30,880 --> 01:52:35,718 ...once more from the beginning, please. I shall give you one bar. 1789 01:52:39,924 --> 01:52:42,392 ♪ A more humane Mikado never 1790 01:52:42,659 --> 01:52:44,494 ♪ Did in Japan exist 1791 01:52:44,729 --> 01:52:49,769 ♪ To nobody second I'm certainly reckoned a true philanthropist 1792 01:52:50,002 --> 01:52:52,705 ♪ It is my very humane endeavour 1793 01:52:52,939 --> 01:52:55,809 ♪ To make, to some extent 1794 01:52:56,043 --> 01:52:57,877 ♪ Each evil liver 1795 01:52:58,145 --> 01:53:00,280 ♪ A running river 1796 01:53:00,514 --> 01:53:05,086 ♪ Of harmless merriment 1797 01:53:05,320 --> 01:53:07,255 ♪ My object all sublime 1798 01:53:07,489 --> 01:53:09,692 ♪ I shall achieve in time 1799 01:53:09,926 --> 01:53:11,894 ♪ To let the punishment fit the crime 1800 01:53:12,128 --> 01:53:14,096 ♪ The punishment fit the crime 1801 01:53:14,330 --> 01:53:16,699 ♪ And make each prisoner pent 1802 01:53:16,933 --> 01:53:18,835 ♪ Unwillingly represent 1803 01:53:19,103 --> 01:53:21,538 ♪ A source of innocent merriment 1804 01:53:21,772 --> 01:53:25,244 ♪ Of innocent merriment 1805 01:53:28,280 --> 01:53:30,049 ♪ The advertising quack 1806 01:53:30,283 --> 01:53:32,619 ♪ Who wearies with tales of countless cures 1807 01:53:32,853 --> 01:53:34,488 ♪ His teeth, I've enacted 1808 01:53:34,722 --> 01:53:37,090 ♪ Shall all be extracted by terrified amateurs 1809 01:53:37,324 --> 01:53:39,459 ♪ The music-hall singer attends a series 1810 01:53:39,693 --> 01:53:41,462 ♪ Of masses and fugues and ops 1811 01:53:41,697 --> 01:53:43,932 ♪ By Bach interwoven with Spohr and Beethoven 1812 01:53:44,165 --> 01:53:46,134 ♪ At classical Monday pops 1813 01:53:46,368 --> 01:53:48,304 ♪ The billiard sharp whom anyone catches 1814 01:53:48,538 --> 01:53:50,705 ♪ His doom's extremely hard 1815 01:53:50,940 --> 01:53:54,577 ♪ He's made to dwell in a dungeon cell 1816 01:53:54,812 --> 01:53:57,414 ♪ On a spot that's always barred 1817 01:53:57,648 --> 01:53:59,650 ♪ And there he plays extravagant matches 1818 01:53:59,884 --> 01:54:02,052 ♪ In fitless fingerstalls 1819 01:54:02,287 --> 01:54:04,390 ♪ On a cloth untrue 1820 01:54:04,624 --> 01:54:06,491 ♪ With a twisted cue 1821 01:54:06,725 --> 01:54:13,534 ♪ And elliptical billiard balls 1822 01:54:13,767 --> 01:54:15,902 ♪ My object all sublime 1823 01:54:16,137 --> 01:54:18,305 ♪ I shall achieve in time 1824 01:54:18,540 --> 01:54:20,441 ♪ To let the punishment fit the crime 1825 01:54:20,708 --> 01:54:22,644 ♪ The punishment fit the crime 1826 01:54:22,878 --> 01:54:24,847 ♪ And make each prisoner pent 1827 01:54:25,081 --> 01:54:27,250 ♪ Unwillingly represent 1828 01:54:27,483 --> 01:54:28,985 ♪ A source of innocent merriment 1829 01:54:29,219 --> 01:54:31,488 ♪ Of innocent merriment 1830 01:54:31,722 --> 01:54:33,690 ♪ His object all sublime 1831 01:54:33,925 --> 01:54:35,758 ♪ He will achieve in time 1832 01:54:36,026 --> 01:54:37,962 ♪ To let the punishment fit the crime 1833 01:54:38,229 --> 01:54:40,198 ♪ The punishment fit the crime 1834 01:54:40,465 --> 01:54:42,366 ♪ And make each prisoner pent 1835 01:54:42,601 --> 01:54:44,569 ♪ Unwillingly represent 1836 01:54:44,803 --> 01:54:46,638 ♪ A source of innocent merriment 1837 01:54:46,906 --> 01:54:50,609 ♪ Of innocent merriment 1838 01:54:54,616 --> 01:54:56,450 Did I say come in? 1839 01:54:56,685 --> 01:54:59,287 You are required in the auditorium, Mr Grossmith. 1840 01:54:59,521 --> 01:55:02,290 I requested five minutes' grace. 1841 01:55:02,524 --> 01:55:03,959 You've had eight, sir. 1842 01:55:04,227 --> 01:55:08,765 - Mayn't it wait until tomorrow? - No, sir. 1843 01:55:16,774 --> 01:55:20,244 Thank you, Miss Braham. 1844 01:55:21,546 --> 01:55:23,581 Is that everyone, Seymour? 1845 01:55:23,815 --> 01:55:25,984 - All present and correct, Mr Gilbert. - Good. 1846 01:55:26,219 --> 01:55:29,088 I won't keep you, ladies and gentlemen. 1847 01:55:29,322 --> 01:55:34,094 We're all extremely tired and looking forward to our beds. 1848 01:55:34,695 --> 01:55:37,765 Observations. The use of fans, particularly in Act One... 1849 01:55:38,032 --> 01:55:39,634 ...was flabby and erratic. 1850 01:55:39,868 --> 01:55:41,770 - Very scrappy. - Indeed, D'Auban. 1851 01:55:42,004 --> 01:55:46,041 We shall address this tomorrow afternoon at two o'clock, Seymour. 1852 01:55:46,309 --> 01:55:47,743 Two of the clock. 1853 01:55:47,978 --> 01:55:50,213 Ko-Ko's entrance. Mr Kent and Mr Cunningham. 1854 01:55:50,447 --> 01:55:54,151 Please ensure that you do not flinch at Mr Grossmith's sword. 1855 01:55:54,385 --> 01:55:57,788 You must have confidence that he is not about to chop off your heads. 1856 01:55:58,022 --> 01:56:01,259 Even if it may appear that that is your inevitable fate. 1857 01:56:01,493 --> 01:56:02,895 I take it, Mr Grossmith... 1858 01:56:03,129 --> 01:56:07,165 ...that today's performance was an aberration. 1859 01:56:07,934 --> 01:56:10,003 Grossmith! 1860 01:56:10,271 --> 01:56:13,173 I beg your pardon, sir. Were you addressing me? 1861 01:56:13,407 --> 01:56:15,743 I was indeed, sir. How are you? 1862 01:56:15,977 --> 01:56:17,646 Quite well, thank you. 1863 01:56:17,912 --> 01:56:20,214 I believe a good night's sleep will cure all ills. 1864 01:56:20,448 --> 01:56:22,283 That I took to be the case. 1865 01:56:22,551 --> 01:56:25,287 Your performances were, on the whole, promising. 1866 01:56:25,555 --> 01:56:29,091 Which is more than can be said, alas, for that of the sliding doors. 1867 01:56:30,994 --> 01:56:33,497 One of which might have thought it was in Japan. 1868 01:56:33,731 --> 01:56:37,869 The other was labouring under the delusion it was on holiday in Yorkshire. 1869 01:56:41,107 --> 01:56:43,409 - Where was the man? - Rest assured, Mr Barker... 1870 01:56:43,643 --> 01:56:45,978 ...that tomorrow night he will be with us in Japan. 1871 01:56:46,212 --> 01:56:47,814 Capital. 1872 01:56:48,048 --> 01:56:51,151 Now. Cuts. There is only one. 1873 01:56:51,385 --> 01:56:56,024 In Act Two, the Mikado's song. 1874 01:56:58,627 --> 01:57:01,264 - I beg your pardon, Mr Gilbert? - Yes, Miss Brandram. 1875 01:57:01,498 --> 01:57:04,334 Surely you can't mean Mr Temple's solo? 1876 01:57:04,568 --> 01:57:07,771 That is exactly what I mean. 1877 01:57:07,905 --> 01:57:10,807 - I do think that's a shame, sir. - It's a dreadful shame. 1878 01:57:11,075 --> 01:57:14,544 Hear, hear. 1879 01:57:17,917 --> 01:57:19,419 - My dear Mr Gilbert. - Temple. 1880 01:57:19,652 --> 01:57:24,156 I am fully aware that the standard of my singing was not quite up to the mark. 1881 01:57:24,390 --> 01:57:26,393 Your singing was exemplary, Temple. 1882 01:57:26,627 --> 01:57:31,298 But I can assure you that once I have mastered the leg business... 1883 01:57:31,532 --> 01:57:34,768 ...I shall most certainly be at liberty to serve the lyric. 1884 01:57:35,036 --> 01:57:37,472 I do apologise. I have not made myself clear. 1885 01:57:37,706 --> 01:57:41,343 My decision to cut the song in no way reflects upon your performance... 1886 01:57:41,577 --> 01:57:44,013 ...which was fine in every respect. 1887 01:57:44,247 --> 01:57:47,216 Fault, if there is one, lies in my obtuse decision... 1888 01:57:47,451 --> 01:57:49,654 ...to write the thing in the first place. 1889 01:57:49,887 --> 01:57:52,957 I have nothing more to say. Thank you very much. Sullivan? 1890 01:57:53,191 --> 01:57:56,327 Excuse me. 1891 01:58:03,570 --> 01:58:05,137 Ladies and gentlemen. 1892 01:58:05,371 --> 01:58:09,310 If I might presume to take a few more moments of your time. 1893 01:58:09,544 --> 01:58:12,213 I should like to thank you all most passionately... 1894 01:58:12,480 --> 01:58:16,451 ...for your tremendous hard work and application during these last few weeks. 1895 01:58:16,718 --> 01:58:18,453 And if I may say so... 1896 01:58:18,687 --> 01:58:21,457 ...the contribution of the chorus was particularly fine. 1897 01:58:21,691 --> 01:58:25,194 I'm immensely proud of you all. 1898 01:58:25,429 --> 01:58:27,597 I do not wish to tempt the fates... 1899 01:58:27,831 --> 01:58:32,136 ...but I feel that we will have a great success. 1900 01:58:32,370 --> 01:58:34,238 I have nothing further to add. 1901 01:58:34,473 --> 01:58:36,708 Only remember... 1902 01:58:36,941 --> 01:58:41,714 ... voce, voce, voce. Buonanotte a tutti. 1903 01:58:41,815 --> 01:58:44,149 Now then, young fella-me-lads. 1904 01:58:44,383 --> 01:58:46,720 The Terpsichore was executed magnifiquely... 1905 01:58:46,954 --> 01:58:50,624 ...notwithstanding the Topsy-Turvydom befuddling Mr Ko-Ko's entrance. 1906 01:58:50,859 --> 01:58:54,095 Otherwise, ♪ In the sea, in the sea, in the sea... 1907 01:58:54,329 --> 01:58:59,067 ...fans out on sea, not in. Bonsoir. 1908 01:58:59,301 --> 01:59:01,271 Should any gent require a libation... 1909 01:59:01,505 --> 01:59:04,874 ...I shall be shortly located at The Coal Hole with Mr Johnny Ward. 1910 01:59:05,108 --> 01:59:07,411 Thank you, Johnny. 1911 01:59:07,679 --> 01:59:09,480 Excellent. "Bravissimi." 1912 01:59:09,714 --> 01:59:11,382 A splendid achievement. 1913 01:59:11,616 --> 01:59:13,450 Be confident... 1914 01:59:13,719 --> 01:59:15,553 ...and may you have a good night's rest. 1915 01:59:15,787 --> 01:59:17,022 Miss Lenoir. 1916 01:59:17,256 --> 01:59:19,492 My thanks and congratulations to you all. 1917 01:59:19,758 --> 01:59:22,595 To hasten you to your slumbers, cabs have been ordered... 1918 01:59:22,829 --> 01:59:25,933 ...and will meet you at the stage door as soon as you are ready. 1919 01:59:26,200 --> 01:59:29,737 Please share a cab with a neighbour. Remember, we're not made of money. 1920 01:59:29,971 --> 01:59:33,675 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 1921 01:59:38,881 --> 01:59:40,783 - I felt so terrible. - Oh, so did I! 1922 01:59:41,017 --> 01:59:43,820 My heart broke for him. I can't bear to see a man cry. 1923 01:59:44,054 --> 01:59:45,855 - Was he crying? - He was crushed. 1924 01:59:46,124 --> 01:59:48,060 - Really sad. - And he's so awfully funny! 1925 01:59:48,293 --> 01:59:50,594 Some people only come to see Mr Temple perform. 1926 01:59:50,828 --> 01:59:54,633 My cousins are always asking about him. They already have their tickets. 1927 01:59:54,867 --> 01:59:58,637 - They'll want their money back now! - There are other people in this piece! 1928 01:59:58,871 --> 02:00:00,706 He's hardly in it now, though, is he? 1929 02:00:00,940 --> 02:00:03,710 - He's playing the Mikado. - Thank you, Violet! 1930 02:00:03,944 --> 02:00:06,146 - Will you be long, Catherine? - No, I shan't. 1931 02:00:06,381 --> 02:00:08,015 I wish we could do something. 1932 02:00:08,283 --> 02:00:10,785 There ain't. Mr Gilbert's decided and that's that. 1933 02:00:11,019 --> 02:00:14,389 With Mr Gilbert, one never knows. Particularly before a first night. 1934 02:00:14,623 --> 02:00:16,625 I suggest we get a good night's sleep. 1935 02:00:16,859 --> 02:00:18,694 Absolutely. I'm certainly off. 1936 02:00:18,963 --> 02:00:21,198 I think you should all mind your own business. 1937 02:00:21,431 --> 02:00:24,634 - Good night! - That was a little uncalled-for! 1938 02:00:24,868 --> 02:00:28,938 Good night, girls! I don't want to be late for supper. 1939 02:00:29,173 --> 02:00:30,975 Oh, Bunny, you look charming! 1940 02:00:31,243 --> 02:00:33,646 It's a fine comic song. He sings it splendidly. 1941 02:00:33,880 --> 02:00:36,282 Does the paying audience not deserve to hear it? 1942 02:00:36,516 --> 02:00:38,217 I agree, Walter. They do. 1943 02:00:38,485 --> 02:00:40,320 Rotten luck for poor old Temple. 1944 02:00:40,554 --> 02:00:44,156 - I'm not convinced it's an immortal song. - Nobody said it was, Mr Lewis! 1945 02:00:44,391 --> 02:00:46,160 It's not the Holy Grail! 1946 02:00:46,394 --> 02:00:48,797 Despite your reservations about the song... 1947 02:00:49,031 --> 02:00:51,566 ...you must concede it is an original performance. 1948 02:00:51,801 --> 02:00:53,869 He should have cut one of Grossmith's songs. 1949 02:00:54,103 --> 02:00:57,040 - Mr Grossmith is poorly. - Then he should have stayed at home. 1950 02:00:57,273 --> 02:01:00,242 I think it's a misjudgement. Someone should tell him. 1951 02:01:00,477 --> 02:01:02,145 - Tell who? - Gilbert. 1952 02:01:02,379 --> 02:01:05,282 - He's only a man, like the rest of us. 1953 02:01:05,516 --> 02:01:07,351 He's not the devil incarnate. 1954 02:01:07,586 --> 02:01:09,654 He scares the living daylights out of me. 1955 02:01:09,921 --> 02:01:12,790 - What about us? - Beg pardon, Price? 1956 02:01:13,024 --> 02:01:15,994 - Why can't "we" speak to Mr Gilbert? 1957 02:01:16,229 --> 02:01:19,299 Well, we could all go together. 1958 02:01:19,567 --> 02:01:22,235 There's no reason why we shouldn't. 1959 02:01:22,469 --> 02:01:23,705 Is there? 1960 02:01:23,939 --> 02:01:27,241 Tell a man you admire his lyrics, he can only be gratified. 1961 02:01:27,475 --> 02:01:29,577 It's a splendid notion, Mr Price. 1962 02:01:29,844 --> 02:01:31,880 Well, here's food for thought. 1963 02:01:32,114 --> 02:01:36,719 Gentlemen, I have been a chorister in this company for 28 seasons. 1964 02:01:36,953 --> 02:01:39,856 It is my intention to remain one for at least another 28. 1965 02:01:40,124 --> 02:01:42,793 - I'm sure you shall. - Be very careful, Mr Price. 1966 02:01:42,128 --> 02:01:44,862 You must consider yourself... 1967 02:01:45,128 --> 02:01:46,797 ...and your position. 1968 02:01:47,031 --> 02:01:49,267 This is tantamount to professional suicide. 1969 02:01:49,501 --> 02:01:51,335 Oh, WJ, that is a little excessive... 1970 02:01:51,604 --> 02:01:55,008 Gentlemen, let us repair to The Coal Hole in the Strand. 1971 02:01:55,242 --> 02:01:57,977 Don't be long, chaps. 1972 02:01:58,245 --> 02:02:00,347 - Good night, gentlemen. - Good night. 1973 02:02:00,581 --> 02:02:02,316 - Take heart. - You'll be wonderful. 1974 02:02:02,550 --> 02:02:03,384 Quite so. 1975 02:02:03,618 --> 02:02:05,920 Is that not right, wee Durward? 1976 02:02:06,154 --> 02:02:07,922 Ach, he'll be grand, Helen. 1977 02:02:08,156 --> 02:02:10,125 This has taken us all quite by surprise. 1978 02:02:10,359 --> 02:02:12,995 And we all know Mr Gilbert. 1979 02:02:13,229 --> 02:02:15,364 - I'd have thought it was a fine song. - It is. 1980 02:02:15,598 --> 02:02:16,433 Thank you. 1981 02:02:16,667 --> 02:02:20,871 Is there anything we can arrange for you, Mr Temple? 1982 02:02:21,105 --> 02:02:23,140 No, thank you, Miss Lenoir. 1983 02:02:23,408 --> 02:02:26,144 I'll be fine. 1984 02:02:26,378 --> 02:02:28,446 It's very late. Congratulations, Lely. 1985 02:02:28,680 --> 02:02:32,284 - First class. - Ach, no. Did you think so? 1986 02:02:32,518 --> 02:02:33,953 - Oh, yes. - Better and better. 1987 02:02:34,188 --> 02:02:36,022 Thank you. Grazie. Grazie. 1988 02:02:36,288 --> 02:02:38,190 - The Beefsteak? - I'm ravenous. 1989 02:02:38,425 --> 02:02:40,527 - Gentlemen, good night. - Good night. 1990 02:02:40,761 --> 02:02:42,729 - Good night, Butt! - Good night. 1991 02:02:42,963 --> 02:02:46,467 Dickie! Courage. 1992 02:02:50,672 --> 02:02:54,310 Well, there you have it, Dickie. 1993 02:02:54,544 --> 02:02:58,448 He's an absolute bastard. 1994 02:02:58,682 --> 02:03:00,951 I knew something of this order would happen. 1995 02:03:01,185 --> 02:03:04,189 I sensed it, I told you so! 1996 02:03:04,423 --> 02:03:08,460 This really is unconscionably cruel. 1997 02:03:08,727 --> 02:03:12,598 You've missed your last train, Dickie. 1998 02:03:12,732 --> 02:03:15,167 It's too late to telegraph the Mrs Temple now. 1999 02:03:15,401 --> 02:03:17,236 What'll you do? 2000 02:03:17,471 --> 02:03:23,612 I suppose I shall toddle across the river to my mother's. She never sleeps. 2001 02:03:25,047 --> 02:03:27,514 "There's g'aye(damn) few like us... 2002 02:03:27,748 --> 02:03:30,852 ...and they're all deed."(dead) 2003 02:03:31,086 --> 02:03:32,921 My father used to say that. 2004 02:03:33,156 --> 02:03:34,990 Laughter. 2005 02:03:35,224 --> 02:03:37,093 Tears. 2006 02:03:37,328 --> 02:03:40,798 Curtain. 2007 02:03:49,041 --> 02:03:51,810 - Good afternoon, Bovill. - Good afternoon, Mr Gilbert. 2008 02:03:52,044 --> 02:03:54,880 - Good afternoon. - Good afternoon, Miss Russell. 2009 02:03:55,115 --> 02:03:57,551 Good afternoon, Rhys... Good heavens! 2010 02:03:57,785 --> 02:03:59,886 - Afternoon, Mr Gilbert. - Good afternoon. 2011 02:04:00,120 --> 02:04:03,758 - Might you, er... spare us a moment? - Of course, we're here to rehearse! 2012 02:04:03,992 --> 02:04:06,794 - Please, Mr Gilbert, sir. - Yes, Price, what is it? 2013 02:04:07,029 --> 02:04:10,467 - We, er... - Hmm?! 2014 02:04:10,600 --> 02:04:15,071 The... ladies and gentlemen of the chorus... 2015 02:04:15,306 --> 02:04:17,174 Yes? 2016 02:04:17,407 --> 02:04:21,678 Concerning Mr Temple's song, sir. 2017 02:04:21,913 --> 02:04:24,315 Ah, the Mikado's song. 2018 02:04:24,549 --> 02:04:25,750 Yes, sir. 2019 02:04:25,984 --> 02:04:28,152 What of that mercifully released aberration? 2020 02:04:28,387 --> 02:04:32,993 - We all consider it... a very fine song, sir. - Indeed we do. 2021 02:04:33,227 --> 02:04:34,894 Gratifying, I'm sure. 2022 02:04:35,128 --> 02:04:37,598 That must be a matter of opinion, mustn't it, Price? 2023 02:04:37,832 --> 02:04:42,169 Well, yes, Mr Gilbert, but we believe it a great loss. 2024 02:04:42,403 --> 02:04:44,572 - Do you? - Yes, sir. 2025 02:04:44,807 --> 02:04:48,010 Especially after all our extremely hard work. 2026 02:04:48,244 --> 02:04:50,146 And, of course, Mr Temple. 2027 02:04:50,413 --> 02:04:54,151 I'm really very sorry for you, but as we all know, it's an unjust world. 2028 02:04:54,384 --> 02:04:57,353 We all feel it would have been of great benefit to the opera. 2029 02:04:57,588 --> 02:04:59,924 And that perhaps the audience should decide. 2030 02:05:00,158 --> 02:05:02,394 Is this the considered opinion of you all? 2031 02:05:02,627 --> 02:05:04,296 It is, sir. 2032 02:05:04,530 --> 02:05:07,433 - I am not party to this, Mr Gilbert. - Ah, Mr Kent. 2033 02:05:07,667 --> 02:05:11,571 As ever, the sole voice of reason. 2034 02:05:11,805 --> 02:05:14,809 Temple, what do you make of this occurrence? 2035 02:05:15,043 --> 02:05:16,877 I do beg your pardon, Mr Gilbert. 2036 02:05:17,111 --> 02:05:20,881 But I have absolutely no idea what is taking place. 2037 02:05:21,115 --> 02:05:25,287 There has been a request that your song be reinstated. 2038 02:05:25,521 --> 02:05:27,355 Ah. 2039 02:05:27,589 --> 02:05:29,692 Ah. 2040 02:05:29,926 --> 02:05:32,195 A most forceful request, I have to say. 2041 02:05:32,429 --> 02:05:33,998 Afternoon! 2042 02:05:34,232 --> 02:05:35,733 Do clear the way. 2043 02:05:35,967 --> 02:05:37,469 Oh. I beg your pardon, sir. 2044 02:05:37,734 --> 02:05:42,606 This is surprising indeed, ladies and gentlemen. 2045 02:05:43,876 --> 02:05:47,346 And somewhat overwhelming. 2046 02:05:50,250 --> 02:05:54,888 Temple. Would you be prepared to sing the song at this evening's performance? 2047 02:05:55,122 --> 02:05:58,325 Yes, sir. I would. 2048 02:06:09,339 --> 02:06:12,074 Then please be so good as to do so. 2049 02:06:12,309 --> 02:06:15,379 - Hip-hip... 2050 02:06:15,613 --> 02:06:17,815 - Hooray! - Rehearsals in five minutes. 2051 02:06:18,049 --> 02:06:19,816 Seymour, where's D'Auban? 2052 02:06:20,051 --> 02:06:24,890 - Congratulations, Temple. - Thank you, good chappie. 2053 02:06:25,525 --> 02:06:28,093 Right you are, Pidgeon! Come along! Make haste! 2054 02:06:28,328 --> 02:06:31,931 - Sir, it's seven o'clock, sir. - Ah, there you are, Willie. 2055 02:06:32,165 --> 02:06:34,968 Willie! Willie!! 2056 02:06:35,202 --> 02:06:37,872 The carriage is waiting, sir. 2057 02:06:38,139 --> 02:06:40,776 Sir! 2058 02:06:41,010 --> 02:06:43,578 - Out of my way, Pidgeon! - I do apologise, sir. 2059 02:06:43,812 --> 02:06:48,351 Willie! We must be leaving! 2060 02:06:48,651 --> 02:06:50,953 We don't want to be late. 2061 02:06:51,221 --> 02:06:54,325 - You look beautiful, madam. - Oh, thank you, Mrs Judd. 2062 02:06:54,559 --> 02:06:56,994 Oh, it's most pleasant to be appreciated. 2063 02:06:57,261 --> 02:07:00,365 Don't worry, madam. 2064 02:07:12,111 --> 02:07:15,916 - Good evening, Cook. - Evening, sir. 2065 02:07:17,553 --> 02:07:19,821 - Come in! 2066 02:07:20,054 --> 02:07:23,324 - GG! - Arthur! 2067 02:07:23,559 --> 02:07:25,795 - Your very good health. - Yours too, Arthur. 2068 02:07:26,063 --> 02:07:28,198 - Splendid piece. - Thank you. 2069 02:07:28,432 --> 02:07:30,567 We shall both be splendid tonight. 2070 02:07:30,801 --> 02:07:32,636 Too many words. 2071 02:07:32,871 --> 02:07:37,174 - I thought I'd just pop in. - Much appreciated. 2072 02:07:37,275 --> 02:07:39,311 So very frightened of losing... 2073 02:07:39,578 --> 02:07:42,013 One had to stay by the door, don't you know? 2074 02:07:42,247 --> 02:07:45,818 - I beg your pardon? - £50 per week isn't too much to ask. 2075 02:07:46,052 --> 02:07:48,121 Behaves more like a man than a woman. 2076 02:07:48,355 --> 02:07:49,689 GG. 2077 02:07:49,923 --> 02:07:53,093 - Try to remember to breathe properly. - Yes, yes, yes. 2078 02:07:53,328 --> 02:07:55,564 This year... next year. 2079 02:07:55,797 --> 02:07:57,631 Too much noise. 2080 02:07:57,899 --> 02:08:00,803 George. Shall we fetch you a doctor? 2081 02:08:01,037 --> 02:08:02,804 I know doctors! 2082 02:08:03,039 --> 02:08:05,375 Coming in here, picking and fussing over one! 2083 02:08:05,608 --> 02:08:08,377 Magnetising the children. 2084 02:08:08,612 --> 02:08:11,716 We shall have a great triumph, you know. 2085 02:08:11,983 --> 02:08:15,454 What is the time, by the way? 2086 02:08:16,754 --> 02:08:19,490 A quarter past. The dreaded hour approaches. 2087 02:08:19,724 --> 02:08:21,393 Now... 2088 02:08:21,660 --> 02:08:25,132 Take a deep breath. 2089 02:08:29,770 --> 02:08:31,738 Very good. 2090 02:08:31,972 --> 02:08:33,574 - Who is it? - Gilbert. 2091 02:08:33,808 --> 02:08:36,377 Do come in, Mr Gilbert. 2092 02:08:36,612 --> 02:08:39,381 - A brief intrusion. - How are you, Mr Gilbert? 2093 02:08:39,615 --> 02:08:41,851 As well as any condemned man can expect. 2094 02:08:42,084 --> 02:08:46,021 - How are you, ladies? - Oh, a little anxious, Mr Gilbert. 2095 02:08:46,255 --> 02:08:49,260 You have every right to be anxious under the circumstances. 2096 02:08:49,493 --> 02:08:51,796 I don't suppose you'll be with us this evening. 2097 02:08:52,063 --> 02:08:54,866 Indeed not. Why on earth should I consort with the foe? 2098 02:08:55,100 --> 02:08:58,336 Oh, but I'm quite sure we shall have a great success, Mr Gilbert. 2099 02:08:58,570 --> 02:09:00,739 I wish I possessed your confidence. 2100 02:09:00,974 --> 02:09:02,608 Well, Jessie! 2101 02:09:02,842 --> 02:09:04,044 Bonne chance! 2102 02:09:04,278 --> 02:09:06,446 - Thank you. - And you, tortoise. 2103 02:09:06,680 --> 02:09:09,383 Thank you, Mr Gilbert. 2104 02:09:09,617 --> 02:09:12,887 Very good. 2105 02:09:14,289 --> 02:09:16,692 I shall put on my kimono now, please, Emily. 2106 02:09:16,926 --> 02:09:20,396 Oh! Very well, Miss Braham. 2107 02:09:27,371 --> 02:09:28,907 - Good evening, Cook. - Sir. 2108 02:09:29,140 --> 02:09:31,743 - Is Mr Grossmith respectable? - I'm afraid not, sir. 2109 02:09:31,977 --> 02:09:37,082 - We'll return later, George. - Oh, thank you. 2110 02:09:38,517 --> 02:09:40,586 - Good evening. - Sir. 2111 02:09:40,820 --> 02:09:42,055 No, Cookie! 2112 02:09:42,288 --> 02:09:44,056 - Gilbert! - I beg your pardon, sir. 2113 02:09:44,291 --> 02:09:45,559 May I come in? 2114 02:09:45,826 --> 02:09:47,628 I'm in my birthday suit. 2115 02:09:47,862 --> 02:09:50,797 - Ah. Are we not receiving? - No, sir. 2116 02:09:51,065 --> 02:09:53,802 Good luck, Grossmith! And be careful with the sword. 2117 02:09:54,069 --> 02:09:54,803 Righto! 2118 02:09:55,071 --> 02:09:57,238 - Walk, boy! - Yes, sir. 2119 02:09:57,506 --> 02:09:58,973 Permission, Mr Cook. 2120 02:09:59,208 --> 02:10:01,043 Permission withheld, sir. On your way. 2121 02:10:01,277 --> 02:10:04,247 Thank you, sir. Good luck, sir. 2122 02:10:04,481 --> 02:10:07,784 Five minutes, sir. 2122.5 02:10:29,481 --> 02:10:32,784 [Miya-sama, miya-sama] Military march melody "Ton-yare Bushi" 2123 02:10:46,330 --> 02:10:49,067 ♪ Miya-sama, miya-sama (Oh noble Prince,...) 2124 02:10:49,301 --> 02:10:52,170 ♪ On-uma no mae ni (that thing in front of your horse...) 2125 02:10:52,404 --> 02:10:55,306 ♪ Pira pira suru no wa (...fluttering around,...) 2126 02:10:55,541 --> 02:10:58,944 ♪ Nan ja na? (...what is it?) 2127 02:10:59,178 --> 02:11:06,085 ♪ Tokoton yare -ton yare na! (onomatopes like Tarantara) 2128 02:11:14,162 --> 02:11:16,731 ♪ Miya-sama, miya-sama 2129 02:11:16,966 --> 02:11:20,069 ♪ On-uma no mae ni 2130 02:11:20,303 --> 02:11:23,073 ♪ Pira pira suru no wa 2131 02:11:23,307 --> 02:11:26,577 ♪ Nan ja na? 2132 02:11:26,811 --> 02:11:33,418 ♪ Tokoton yare -ton yare na! 2133 02:11:47,135 --> 02:11:49,171 ♪ From every kind of man 2134 02:11:49,404 --> 02:11:53,175 ♪ Obedience I expect 2135 02:11:53,410 --> 02:11:55,511 ♪ I'm the Emperor of Japan 2136 02:11:55,745 --> 02:11:59,182 ♪ And I'm his daughter-in-law elect 2137 02:11:59,416 --> 02:12:00,650 ♪ He'll marry his son 2138 02:12:00,884 --> 02:12:02,820 ♪ He's only got one 2139 02:12:03,054 --> 02:12:05,289 ♪ To his daughter-in-law elect 2140 02:12:05,523 --> 02:12:07,425 ♪ My morals have been declared 2141 02:12:07,659 --> 02:12:11,330 ♪ Particularly correct 2142 02:12:11,564 --> 02:12:12,831 ♪ But they're nothing at all 2143 02:12:13,065 --> 02:12:17,503 ♪ Compared with those of his daughter-in-law elect 2144 02:12:17,738 --> 02:12:19,372 ♪ Bow! 2145 02:12:19,606 --> 02:12:20,473 ♪ Bow 2146 02:12:20,707 --> 02:12:23,977 ♪ To his daughter-in-law elect 2147 02:12:24,211 --> 02:12:26,247 ♪ Bow! Bow! 2148 02:12:26,514 --> 02:12:31,252 ♪ To his daughter-in-law elect 2149 02:12:39,463 --> 02:12:41,498 ♪ In a fatherly kind of way 2150 02:12:41,732 --> 02:12:44,668 ♪ I govern each tribe and sect 2151 02:12:44,902 --> 02:12:47,104 ♪ All cheerfully own my sway 2152 02:12:47,339 --> 02:12:50,975 ♪ Except his daughter-in-law elect 2153 02:12:51,210 --> 02:12:52,645 ♪ As tough as a bone 2154 02:12:52,911 --> 02:12:54,213 ♪ With a will of her own 2155 02:12:54,447 --> 02:12:57,116 ♪ Is his daughter-in-law elect 2156 02:12:57,350 --> 02:12:59,485 ♪ My nature is love and light 2157 02:12:59,753 --> 02:13:03,191 ♪ My freedom from all defect 2158 02:13:03,425 --> 02:13:05,492 ♪ Is insignificant quite 2159 02:13:05,726 --> 02:13:09,497 ♪ Compared with his daughter-in-law elect 2160 02:13:09,731 --> 02:13:12,534 ♪ Bow! Bow! 2161 02:13:12,768 --> 02:13:15,737 ♪ To his daughter-in-law elect 2162 02:13:15,972 --> 02:13:18,475 ♪ Bow! Bow! 2163 02:13:18,709 --> 02:13:23,380 ♪ To his daughter-in-law elect 2164 02:13:36,229 --> 02:13:38,665 ♪ A more humane Mikado never 2165 02:13:38,898 --> 02:13:42,436 ♪ Did in Japan exist 2166 02:13:53,750 --> 02:13:55,585 - Get off! - Be good, be good. 2167 02:13:55,819 --> 02:13:57,754 - What are you do...? - I'm good, I'm good. 2168 02:13:57,988 --> 02:14:01,492 - Get your hands off me! - Oh, don't rub your smell off on me! 2169 02:14:01,759 --> 02:14:05,629 You stinking bitch! Just let me go, you cow! 2170 02:14:05,863 --> 02:14:09,334 - Oh, you're a lovely big boy! - Don't touch me! 2171 02:14:09,568 --> 02:14:15,041 Who made the world, arsehole?! 2172 02:14:24,954 --> 02:14:28,424 ♪ The criminal cried as he dropped him down 2173 02:14:28,657 --> 02:14:31,660 ♪ In a state of wild alarm 2174 02:14:31,894 --> 02:14:35,498 ♪ With a frightful frantic fearful frown 2175 02:14:35,732 --> 02:14:38,836 ♪ I bared my big right arm 2176 02:14:39,070 --> 02:14:42,506 ♪ I seized him by his little pigtail 2177 02:14:42,739 --> 02:14:44,574 ♪ And on his knees 2178 02:14:44,809 --> 02:14:46,278 ♪ Fell he 2179 02:14:46,512 --> 02:14:49,681 ♪ As he squirmed and struggled and gurgled and guggled 2180 02:14:49,915 --> 02:14:54,220 ♪ I drew my snickersnee 2181 02:14:54,455 --> 02:14:58,826 ♪ My snickersnee 2182 02:14:59,060 --> 02:15:01,896 ♪ Never shall I forget the cry 2183 02:15:02,164 --> 02:15:06,133 ♪ Or the shriek that shriek-ed he 2184 02:15:06,402 --> 02:15:09,105 ♪ As I gnashed my teeth when from its sheath 2185 02:15:09,338 --> 02:15:12,441 ♪ I drew my snickersnee 2186 02:15:12,675 --> 02:15:13,976 ♪ We know him well 2187 02:15:14,211 --> 02:15:16,013 ♪ He cannot tell 2188 02:15:16,280 --> 02:15:19,582 ♪ Untrue or groundless tales 2189 02:15:19,817 --> 02:15:23,255 ♪ He always tries to utter lies 2190 02:15:23,521 --> 02:15:26,625 ♪ And every time he fails 2191 02:15:26,858 --> 02:15:30,296 ♪ He shivered and shook as he gave the sign 2192 02:15:30,562 --> 02:15:33,899 ♪ For the stroke he didn't deserve 2193 02:15:34,134 --> 02:15:35,535 ♪ When all of a sudden 2194 02:15:35,802 --> 02:15:37,270 ♪ His eye met mine 2195 02:15:37,505 --> 02:15:40,775 ♪ And it seemed to brace his nerve 2196 02:15:41,042 --> 02:15:42,475 ♪ For he nodded his head 2197 02:15:42,710 --> 02:15:44,545 ♪ And kissed his hand 2198 02:15:44,779 --> 02:15:47,716 ♪ And he whistled an air, did he 2199 02:15:47,950 --> 02:15:49,952 ♪ As the sabre true 2200 02:15:50,186 --> 02:15:51,754 ♪ Cut cleanly through 2201 02:15:51,988 --> 02:15:56,227 ♪ His cervical vertebrae 2202 02:15:56,461 --> 02:16:00,865 ♪ His vertebrae 2203 02:16:01,099 --> 02:16:02,668 ♪ When a man's afraid 2204 02:16:02,902 --> 02:16:04,269 ♪ A beautiful maid 2205 02:16:04,502 --> 02:16:07,839 ♪ Is a cheering sight to see 2206 02:16:08,074 --> 02:16:09,676 ♪ And it's oh, I'm glad 2207 02:16:09,910 --> 02:16:11,344 ♪ That moment sad 2208 02:16:11,578 --> 02:16:14,814 ♪ Was soothed by sight of me 2209 02:16:15,082 --> 02:16:16,684 ♪ Her terrible tale 2210 02:16:16,917 --> 02:16:18,652 ♪ You can't assail 2211 02:16:18,921 --> 02:16:21,956 ♪ With truth it quite agrees 2212 02:16:22,190 --> 02:16:23,826 ♪ Her taste exact 2213 02:16:24,060 --> 02:16:25,494 ♪ For faultless fact 2214 02:16:25,761 --> 02:16:29,064 ♪ Amounts to a disease 2215 02:16:29,299 --> 02:16:30,834 ♪ Now though you'd have said 2216 02:16:31,067 --> 02:16:32,435 ♪ That head was dead 2217 02:16:32,670 --> 02:16:36,073 ♪ For its owner dead was he 2218 02:16:36,306 --> 02:16:37,641 ♪ It stood on its neck 2219 02:16:37,876 --> 02:16:39,545 ♪ With a smile well-bred 2220 02:16:39,778 --> 02:16:42,380 ♪ And bowed three times to me! 2221 02:16:42,647 --> 02:16:46,084 ♪ It was none of your impudent offhand nods 2222 02:16:46,318 --> 02:16:49,788 ♪ But as humble as could be 2223 02:16:50,022 --> 02:16:51,790 ♪ For it clearly knew 2224 02:16:52,025 --> 02:16:53,527 ♪ The deference due 2225 02:16:53,760 --> 02:16:57,998 ♪ To a man of pedigree 2226 02:16:58,232 --> 02:17:02,504 ♪ Of pedigree 2227 02:17:02,738 --> 02:17:04,439 ♪ And it's oh, I vow 2228 02:17:04,673 --> 02:17:06,441 ♪ This deathly bow 2229 02:17:06,676 --> 02:17:09,178 ♪ Was a touching sight to see 2230 02:17:09,446 --> 02:17:11,181 ♪ Though trunkless yet 2231 02:17:11,448 --> 02:17:12,748 ♪ It couldn't forget 2232 02:17:12,983 --> 02:17:16,353 ♪ The deference due to me 2233 02:17:16,588 --> 02:17:18,122 ♪ This haughty youth 2234 02:17:18,356 --> 02:17:20,024 ♪ He speaks the truth 2235 02:17:20,258 --> 02:17:23,462 ♪ Whenever he finds it pays 2236 02:17:23,729 --> 02:17:25,064 ♪ And in this case 2237 02:17:25,299 --> 02:17:26,866 ♪ It all took place 2238 02:17:27,099 --> 02:17:29,402 ♪ Exactly as he says 2239 02:17:29,636 --> 02:17:32,273 ♪ Exactly, exactly, exactly 2240 02:17:32,507 --> 02:17:41,816 ♪ Exactly as he says 2241 02:17:53,630 --> 02:17:56,433 - ♪ For he's gone and married Yum-Yum - ♪ Yum-Yum 2242 02:17:56,668 --> 02:17:58,436 ♪ Your anger pray bury for all will be merry 2243 02:17:58,670 --> 02:18:00,906 - ♪ I think you had better succumb - ♪ Cumb-cumb 2244 02:18:01,140 --> 02:18:03,008 ♪ And join our expressions of glee 2245 02:18:03,242 --> 02:18:05,376 - ♪ On this subject I pray you be dumb - ♪ Dumb-dumb 2246 02:18:05,645 --> 02:18:07,714 ♪ Your notions, though many are not worth a penny 2247 02:18:07,948 --> 02:18:10,184 - ♪ The word for your guidance is mum - ♪ Mum-mum 2248 02:18:10,451 --> 02:18:12,285 ♪ You've a very good bargain in me 2249 02:18:12,519 --> 02:18:14,755 ♪ On this subject we pray you be dumb, dumb-dumb 2250 02:18:14,989 --> 02:18:16,992 ♪ We think you had better succumb, cumb-cumb 2251 02:18:17,226 --> 02:18:18,794 ♪ You'll find there are many 2252 02:18:19,027 --> 02:18:21,329 ♪ Who'll wed for a penny, who'll wed for a penny 2253 02:18:21,563 --> 02:18:23,432 ♪ There are lots of good fish in the sea 2254 02:18:23,666 --> 02:18:25,768 ♪ There are lots of good fish in the sea 2255 02:18:26,002 --> 02:18:27,903 ♪ There's lots of good fish, good fish in the sea 2256 02:18:28,171 --> 02:18:30,607 ♪ There's lots of good fish, good fish in the sea 2257 02:18:30,841 --> 02:18:33,945 ♪ In the sea, in the sea, in the sea 2258 02:18:34,078 --> 02:18:36,114 ♪ The threatened cloud has passed away 2259 02:18:36,348 --> 02:18:37,483 ♪ And fairly shines the dawning day 2260 02:18:37,716 --> 02:18:38,916 ♪ What though the night may come too soon 2261 02:18:39,151 --> 02:18:40,985 ♪ We've years and years of afternoon 2262 02:18:41,220 --> 02:18:44,623 ♪ Then let the throng our joy advance 2263 02:18:44,891 --> 02:18:48,194 ♪ With laughing song and merry dance 2264 02:18:48,429 --> 02:18:50,196 ♪ Then let the throng our joy advance 2265 02:18:50,430 --> 02:18:51,765 ♪ With laughing song and merry dance 2266 02:18:51,999 --> 02:18:53,801 ♪ With laughing song and merry dance 2267 02:18:54,035 --> 02:18:57,071 ♪ With laughing song 2268 02:18:57,305 --> 02:18:58,740 ♪ With joyous shout 2269 02:18:59,007 --> 02:19:00,808 ♪ With joyous shout and ringing cheer 2270 02:19:01,043 --> 02:19:04,246 ♪ Inaugurate, inaugurate their new career 2271 02:19:04,480 --> 02:19:06,048 ♪ With joyous shout and ringing cheer 2272 02:19:06,282 --> 02:19:07,650 ♪ Inaugurate their new career 2273 02:19:07,884 --> 02:19:09,520 ♪ With joyous shout and ringing cheer 2274 02:19:09,754 --> 02:19:11,288 ♪ Inaugurate their new career 2275 02:19:11,522 --> 02:19:13,023 ♪ With laughing song and merry dance 2276 02:19:13,291 --> 02:19:15,527 ♪ With laughing song and merry dance 2277 02:19:15,760 --> 02:19:17,662 ♪ With song 2278 02:19:17,930 --> 02:19:22,868 ♪ And dance 2279 02:20:08,055 --> 02:20:11,527 Pish, Peep! 2280 02:20:15,129 --> 02:20:17,132 Mikado! 2281 02:20:22,872 --> 02:20:24,707 Ah! 2282 02:20:24,975 --> 02:20:28,278 - How bad was it? - Utterly dreadful. A joke! I jest! 2283 02:20:28,512 --> 02:20:31,615 - And Grossmith? - A lamentable spectacle. 2284 02:20:31,849 --> 02:20:34,152 - Are you ready, Gilbert? - Ready for what? 2285 02:20:34,385 --> 02:20:37,589 The gibbet? 2286 02:20:47,335 --> 02:20:50,337 And... full company! 2287 02:20:50,570 --> 02:20:54,443 Ladies and gentlemen, bow! 2288 02:20:55,010 --> 02:20:58,881 Thank you very much. 2289 02:21:15,801 --> 02:21:19,538 There's something inherently disappointing about success. 2290 02:21:19,772 --> 02:21:22,075 Climax and anticlimax, Willie. 2291 02:21:22,308 --> 02:21:24,477 I don't quite know how to take praise. 2292 02:21:24,712 --> 02:21:26,547 It makes my eyes red. 2293 02:21:26,813 --> 02:21:29,749 It must be rather pleasant to receive it, nonetheless. 2294 02:21:30,018 --> 02:21:32,854 I suppose so... if one feels one deserves it. 2295 02:21:33,088 --> 02:21:37,525 I don't think anyone would deny that you deserve it, Willie. 2296 02:21:37,760 --> 02:21:39,595 I know my limitations. 2297 02:21:39,829 --> 02:21:43,432 I should rather like to be an actor, upon the stage. 2298 02:21:43,700 --> 02:21:45,602 - An actor? - Yes. 2299 02:21:45,836 --> 02:21:49,073 Wouldn't it be wondrous if perfectly commonplace people... 2300 02:21:49,307 --> 02:21:52,644 ...gave each other a round of applause at the end of the day? 2301 02:21:52,878 --> 02:21:54,813 Well done, Kitty! Well done! 2302 02:21:55,047 --> 02:21:58,117 Well done, Kitty! Bravo! Encore! 2303 02:21:58,351 --> 02:22:00,286 Thank you, Willie. 2304 02:22:00,520 --> 02:22:02,989 - Well, you must be tired. - Must I? 2305 02:22:03,257 --> 02:22:05,259 I shall leave you to your beauty sleep. 2306 02:22:05,492 --> 02:22:08,963 No, don't go. 2307 02:22:09,097 --> 02:22:11,966 Any thoughts racing round in that old brain of yours? 2308 02:22:12,200 --> 02:22:15,638 Thoughts of what nature? 2309 02:22:21,878 --> 02:22:23,680 Concerning your next piece. 2310 02:22:23,913 --> 02:22:25,850 Ah! That monster. 2311 02:22:26,084 --> 02:22:29,553 No, not as yet. 2312 02:22:30,756 --> 02:22:34,559 Perhaps you should do something completely different and unusual. 2313 02:22:34,793 --> 02:22:37,497 - Such as what? - Oh, well, I don't know! 2314 02:22:37,730 --> 02:22:39,498 Come along, suggest something! 2315 02:22:39,733 --> 02:22:43,203 Oh... 2316 02:22:47,074 --> 02:22:52,246 Well, you should have a young and beautiful heroine... 2317 02:22:52,715 --> 02:22:56,553 ...who grows old and plain. 2318 02:22:56,751 --> 02:22:59,321 As she gradually becomes older and older... 2319 02:22:59,556 --> 02:23:02,660 ...the ladies' chorus becomes younger and younger. 2320 02:23:02,894 --> 02:23:04,962 Ah. Topsy-Turvy. 2321 02:23:05,196 --> 02:23:08,700 Yes. 2322 02:23:08,800 --> 02:23:12,437 How would it commence, this comic opera of yours? 2323 02:23:12,671 --> 02:23:16,643 With the gentlemen's chorus, of course. 2324 02:23:16,776 --> 02:23:18,644 A chorus of fat leeches. 2325 02:23:18,879 --> 02:23:20,713 - Leeches? - Yes! 2326 02:23:20,981 --> 02:23:22,782 No, they'd be gentlemen. 2327 02:23:23,017 --> 02:23:26,455 They'd be in their carriages and they'd be rushing across the stage. 2328 02:23:26,688 --> 02:23:29,257 The horses would be galloping across the stage... 2329 02:23:29,491 --> 02:23:32,394 ...with the ladies chasing after them to talk to them... 2330 02:23:32,662 --> 02:23:37,832 ...but they wouldn't be listening, they'd be far too busy. 2331 02:23:38,101 --> 02:23:39,303 Hmm. 2332 02:23:39,536 --> 02:23:41,438 Expensive to stage. 2333 02:23:41,706 --> 02:23:43,540 And there'd be dozens of doors... 2334 02:23:43,773 --> 02:23:45,842 ...and ticking clocks on the stage. 2335 02:23:46,077 --> 02:23:48,414 He's made a vow to give her the key... 2336 02:23:48,647 --> 02:23:50,481 ...but he never does. 2337 02:23:50,716 --> 02:23:54,220 Who might "he" be? 2338 02:23:54,754 --> 02:23:56,922 Well, he's her husband, I suppose. 2339 02:23:57,156 --> 02:23:59,492 The hero. 2340 02:23:59,726 --> 02:24:01,561 No, not the hero. 2341 02:24:01,796 --> 02:24:03,298 Anyway. 2342 02:24:03,531 --> 02:24:05,298 One day... 2343 02:24:05,533 --> 02:24:07,135 No. 2344 02:24:07,369 --> 02:24:09,170 Late one night... 2345 02:24:09,404 --> 02:24:11,606 ...she suddenly decides to try the door... 2346 02:24:11,840 --> 02:24:13,674 ...and it opens! 2347 02:24:13,943 --> 02:24:16,980 Ah. So it wasn't locked after all. 2348 02:24:17,214 --> 02:24:19,449 And she climbs up the stairs... 2349 02:24:19,683 --> 02:24:21,684 ...and there, on the sands... 2350 02:24:21,918 --> 02:24:27,758 ...are hundreds of nannies all pushing empty perambulators about! 2351 02:24:38,705 --> 02:24:42,475 And every time she tries to be born... 2352 02:24:43,444 --> 02:24:47,482 ...he strangles her with her umbilical cord. 2353 02:25:05,370 --> 02:25:09,642 I shouldn't imagine Sullivan'd much care for "that". 2354 02:25:18,319 --> 02:25:20,220 I'm proud of myself... 2355 02:25:20,453 --> 02:25:24,559 ...triumphant, exhilarated, exhausted, revived... 2356 02:25:24,826 --> 02:25:29,731 ...and fed up to the back teeth with these wretched kidneys. 2357 02:25:29,965 --> 02:25:33,470 Poor old thing. 2358 02:25:35,238 --> 02:25:40,211 Arthur, an old demon has come back to haunt us at a most unwelcome time. 2359 02:25:40,445 --> 02:25:43,948 What on earth do you mean? 2360 02:25:49,388 --> 02:25:52,158 Oh. 2361 02:25:52,425 --> 02:25:55,262 I didn't want to tell you. 2362 02:25:55,496 --> 02:25:58,966 - Are you sure? - Yes. 2363 02:25:59,367 --> 02:26:01,869 How long have you known? 2364 02:26:02,103 --> 02:26:05,573 Ten days. 2365 02:26:06,374 --> 02:26:09,846 Oh, Fanny. 2366 02:26:11,381 --> 02:26:14,084 I shall make the arrangements. 2367 02:26:14,351 --> 02:26:16,186 That won't be necessary. 2368 02:26:16,420 --> 02:26:19,322 I couldn't go through that again. 2369 02:26:19,590 --> 02:26:22,927 I'm sorry that you have to. 2370 02:26:23,061 --> 02:26:25,897 I've made my own arrangements. 2371 02:26:26,131 --> 02:26:27,532 Have you? 2372 02:26:27,767 --> 02:26:30,703 Someone has been recommended to me. 2373 02:26:30,937 --> 02:26:33,373 After all... 2374 02:26:33,607 --> 02:26:37,110 ...it is 1885, Arthur. 2375 02:26:37,745 --> 02:26:41,082 I love "The Mikado". 2376 02:26:41,216 --> 02:26:45,087 You've put everything you are into it. 2377 02:26:45,688 --> 02:26:48,859 You light up the world. 2378 02:26:49,092 --> 02:26:52,562 You can't help it. 2379 02:27:00,739 --> 02:27:04,208 I must fly. 2380 02:27:18,928 --> 02:27:23,866 Yes, I am indeed beautiful. 2381 02:27:24,333 --> 02:27:26,568 Sometimes I sit and wonder... 2382 02:27:26,802 --> 02:27:30,373 ...in my artless Japanese way... 2383 02:27:30,607 --> 02:27:33,510 ...why it is that I am so much more attractive... 2384 02:27:33,744 --> 02:27:37,414 ...than anybody else in the whole world. 2385 02:27:38,383 --> 02:27:41,286 Can this be vanity? 2386 02:27:41,552 --> 02:27:43,788 No. 2387 02:27:44,022 --> 02:27:45,857 Nature is lovely... 2388 02:27:46,091 --> 02:27:48,895 ...and rejoices in her loveliness. 2389 02:27:49,128 --> 02:27:51,431 I am a child of nature... 2390 02:27:51,665 --> 02:27:55,268 ...and take after my mother. 2391 02:28:07,851 --> 02:28:10,687 ♪ The sun whose rays are all ablaze 2392 02:28:10,955 --> 02:28:15,126 ♪ With ever-living glory 2393 02:28:15,393 --> 02:28:17,862 ♪ Does not deny his majesty 2394 02:28:18,096 --> 02:28:22,133 ♪ He scorns to tell a story 2395 02:28:22,368 --> 02:28:24,870 ♪ He don't exclaim, "I blush for shame 2396 02:28:25,104 --> 02:28:29,342 ♪ So kindly be indulgent" 2397 02:28:29,576 --> 02:28:32,446 ♪ But fierce and bold in fiery gold 2398 02:28:32,713 --> 02:28:38,686 ♪ He glories all effulgent 2399 02:28:39,854 --> 02:28:44,026 ♪ I mean to rule the earth 2400 02:28:44,260 --> 02:28:46,863 ♪ As he the sky 2401 02:28:47,097 --> 02:28:51,334 ♪ We really know our worth 2402 02:28:51,568 --> 02:28:55,139 ♪ The sun and I 2403 02:28:55,373 --> 02:28:59,377 ♪ I mean to rule the earth as he the sky 2404 02:28:59,611 --> 02:29:02,581 ♪ We really know our worth 2405 02:29:02,816 --> 02:29:09,156 ♪ The sun and I 2406 02:29:13,093 --> 02:29:15,662 ♪ Observe his flame, that placid dame 2407 02:29:15,897 --> 02:29:20,168 ♪ The moon's Celestial Highness 2408 02:29:20,435 --> 02:29:22,771 ♪ There's not a trace upon her face 2409 02:29:23,039 --> 02:29:27,143 ♪ Of diffidence or shyness 2410 02:29:27,377 --> 02:29:30,014 ♪ She borrows light that through the night 2411 02:29:30,280 --> 02:29:34,518 ♪ Mankind may all acclaim her 2412 02:29:34,752 --> 02:29:35,786 ♪ And truth to tell 2413 02:29:36,021 --> 02:29:37,088 ♪ She lights up well 2414 02:29:37,355 --> 02:29:43,127 ♪ So I for one don't blame her 2415 02:29:44,598 --> 02:29:48,668 ♪ Ah, pray make no mistake 2416 02:29:48,903 --> 02:29:51,104 ♪ We are not shy 2417 02:29:51,339 --> 02:29:55,510 ♪ We're very wide awake 2418 02:29:55,744 --> 02:29:59,147 ♪ The moon and I 2419 02:29:59,380 --> 02:30:04,386 ♪ Ah, pray make no mistake We are not shy 2420 02:30:04,620 --> 02:30:07,423 ♪ We're very wide awake 2421 02:30:07,658 --> 02:30:14,900 ♪ The moon and I 2422 02:30:17,858 --> 02:30:21,101 Subtitles resynced and notes by AsifAkheir