1 00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:35,333 (RUBBERNECKIN' PLAYING) 2 00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:09,889 All right, all right. All right, all right. 3 00:03:17,096 --> 00:03:18,529 Never 4 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:19,928 say 5 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,124 no. 6 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,545 Well, this is Kingman's defining moment, Marv. 7 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,282 If they win, they guarantee themselves a spot in the playoffs. 8 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,721 Everybody get on the King's back 9 00:03:45,825 --> 00:03:47,520 and I'm going to lead you to the promised land. 10 00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,822 -All right? On one, on one. Ready? -Break! 11 00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:51,089 MAN 1: Go deep. MAN 2: Watch your left! 12 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:52,164 Let's go! 13 00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:53,960 Pick him up. Pick him up. 14 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:56,766 Sanders. Sanders. 15 00:03:56,869 --> 00:03:58,359 (BARKING ORDERS) 16 00:03:58,504 --> 00:03:59,493 Go wide! 17 00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:00,800 Hut-hut! 18 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:01,896 Hut! 19 00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:05,109 COMMENTATOR 1: All right, here's Kingman. Drops back in the pocket. 20 00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:08,339 He's got Sanders wide open in the end zone. 21 00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:11,408 Kingman is on the run. He's inside the five. 22 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:15,148 He stiff-arms. It's the Kingman swing. 23 00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:19,414 And he is in! Touchdown, Rebels. They've won it. 24 00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,322 COMMENTATOR 2: What a tremendous play by Kingman, Marv. 25 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,792 But I have to wonder, yesterday he was... 26 00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:24,760 The King does it again! 27 00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:26,388 (JAILHOUSE ROCK PLAYING) 28 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:28,160 -Go Joe! -Go Joe! 29 00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:36,136 -Never say no! -Never say no! 30 00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:37,209 Yeah! 31 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:38,675 (CHEERING) 32 00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,479 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 33 00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:50,713 WOMAN ON RADIO: WZPZ FM. 34 00:04:50,823 --> 00:04:54,987 Hey, Boston. Happy New Year. And a special shout out to our Rebels. 35 00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:56,561 Don't party too hard, boys. 36 00:04:56,663 --> 00:05:00,497 You're going to need all your strength to bring home that championship. 37 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,066 -Enjoy your drink. -T o us. 38 00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,194 Hope it's okay. 39 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,637 I'm telling you guys, these aren't the normal onion rings. 40 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:12,609 They got garlic and mint leaves. I mean, like, beluga caviar. 41 00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,942 Hey, Coop. Coop, check it out. 42 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,142 -See the hottie? 12 o'clock, tan dress? -Oh, yeah. 43 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,843 I think she said you have a killer smile, bro. 44 00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:21,214 I do. 45 00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,685 You should go talk to her. 46 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,781 -You think so? -I know so. Come on. 47 00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:29,988 Get in there. Get in there. Whoa, whoa, whoa, swamp mouth. 48 00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:31,859 Use some of this. Chicks dig it. 49 00:05:31,964 --> 00:05:34,398 -Webber, you got a pen? -Why? 50 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,264 Because you might want to take some notes. 51 00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,095 (CHATTERING) 52 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,171 What's up? 53 00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:51,114 (SPIKE BARKS) 54 00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:54,414 Webber! 55 00:05:56,389 --> 00:06:00,655 I told you, they bumped up shoot. I have to catch last flight to Paris. 56 00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:02,618 But Tatianna will miss you. 57 00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:06,165 The King doesn't want his queen to miss him too much. 58 00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:07,391 So I got you a little something special. 59 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,489 (GASPS) 60 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:11,229 -Close your eyes. -Okay. 61 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,934 Tatianna, Tatianna. Which one? Which one? 62 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,407 No peeking. 63 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,206 Dreams are on Joe tonight, honey. 64 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,372 (GASPS) 65 00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:23,847 Happy New Year. 66 00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:26,475 -(EXCLAIMS) Channel? -Or Chanel. 67 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,185 JOE: Whoa, Sanders. Where you going? 68 00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:37,854 Just past your bedtime? 69 00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:40,228 Yeah, well, you know, it's New Year's Eve. 70 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,494 Want to go home, hug the wife, kiss the kids. 71 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,127 All right, thanks for coming. Happy New Year. 72 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,998 -All right, Happy New Year. -All right, see you at practice. 73 00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:49,540 All right, see you. 74 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:51,971 All right, Joe. Come on, it's real funny. 75 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,409 Now, just give me back the wallet, all right? 76 00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:56,539 I'm looking to confiscate Sanders' man card, 77 00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:59,015 but his wife, Maria, has already done it. 78 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,083 -Yes, really... -Come on. Get a life, Sanders. 79 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:07,259 Oh, you call this "life"? That ain't life, Joe. 80 00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:11,759 -Whatever. -He's mad. That was funny, man. 81 00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:15,296 -Who's ready to party? -I am. 82 00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:16,766 ALL: Party! 83 00:07:16,869 --> 00:07:18,234 Yeah! 84 00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,598 Where can I get a man card? 85 00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:23,265 (MUSIC PLAYING) 86 00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:30,180 -Why? The night is still young! -We can walk Spike. 87 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,875 -Play the guitars, Joe. Come on. -We were just bonding. 88 00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:33,383 -I love that idea. -We're starting to jell. 89 00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:34,976 -Call me. -Joe... 90 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:36,946 We were doing so good. 91 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:45,421 Hey, Spike. There's my boy. Haven't seen you all night. 92 00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:49,599 Do you know who the greatest quarterback of all time is? 93 00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,829 Just checking. Let's go! Huddle up! 94 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,302 (PANTING) 95 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,203 Can you feel it? Can you smell it? Do you believe it? 96 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,369 Z-slant Mississippi! On three. Ready? Break! Hut! Hut! Hut! 97 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,844 Come on, Spike. We need a football biscuit. 98 00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:02,005 (SPIKE BARKS) 99 00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:04,139 Oh, that's a good one. Oh, this is a good one. 100 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,842 Kingman drops back, he's... Oh, defenders are coming around. 101 00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:07,044 (CROWD CHEERING) 102 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,211 Post pattern, Spike. Post pattern. 103 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,310 (SPIKE BARKS) 104 00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:10,753 He throws. 105 00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:13,553 Touchdown! They're going crazy. 106 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,622 Crazy. 107 00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:21,293 (SIGHS) 108 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,439 Gracias, Rosa. Enjoy your vacation. 109 00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,539 What do you want to do, Spike? What do you want to do today? 110 00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,208 It's a new year. 111 00:08:39,785 --> 00:08:43,277 You want to play football? You want to go for a walk? 112 00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:49,352 You want to watch the new ESPN special profile on Joe Kingman? 113 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:53,861 I know you do. Me, too. Watch. Watch. Here we go. 114 00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:55,399 Attaboy. 115 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:58,835 Blessed with crazy strength and ridiculous agility... 116 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,229 Ridiculous. 117 00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:02,034 ...Joe Kingman could have succeeded on talent alone. 118 00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:04,871 But what really sets this future hall-of-famer apart 119 00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:06,535 is his passion for the game. 120 00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:09,410 And no one sums it up better than Joe himself. 121 00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:11,608 -Wait a minute, that's not what I said. -Listen, listen. 122 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,742 -What I said was this. Life... -Life... 123 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:15,844 -...holds many pleasures for me. -...holds many pleasures for me. 124 00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:17,445 -But... -But... 125 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,081 -...nothing... -...nothing... 126 00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:21,022 -...nothing beats the thrill... -...nothing beats the thrill... 127 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:22,992 -...of playing on that field... -...of playing on that field... 128 00:09:23,095 --> 00:09:24,062 -...every Sunday. -...every Sunday. 129 00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:26,631 -Football is my life. -Football is my life. 130 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,126 -Beyond the field... -Beyond the field... 131 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,533 -...nothing else matters. -...nothing else matters. Watch this. 132 00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:32,604 Nothing. 133 00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:35,071 If nothing else really matters, 134 00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:38,541 why does that championship ring elude Kingman? 135 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:42,045 Some of the experts say it's because he's too selfish. 136 00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:43,376 I mean, think about it... 137 00:09:43,482 --> 00:09:44,972 (FORWARDING TAPE) 138 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,108 (MOCKING) 139 00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:48,311 How does that sound, Stuey? 140 00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:51,753 Joe, you're a 30-something now, not a 20-something. 141 00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:55,516 The clock is ticking, Joe. Ticking on your career. 142 00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:58,995 Blah, blah, blah... 143 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:02,990 You come talk to me when you have your own action figure, Stuey. 144 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,660 (PHONE RINGING) 145 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,673 -Yeah? -LARRY: Pardon me, Mr. Kingman. 146 00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,443 I have a visitor here at reception. 147 00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:14,612 -A Peyton Kelly, sir. -I don't know any Peytons. 148 00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:16,314 A young lady. 149 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:20,448 -Is she cute? -Oh, exceedingly so, sir. 150 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:23,716 Well, what are you waiting for, Larry? Send her up. 151 00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:26,684 He never says "no." 152 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:27,781 (DOORBELL RINGING) 153 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:30,088 I am the king. Thank you very much. 154 00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:31,756 Hmm. 155 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,426 Look out. 156 00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:35,699 Hello. 157 00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:41,335 -Goodbye. -PEYTON: Hey! 158 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,943 Look, kid, I don't do Girl Scout cookies, okay? 159 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,313 You don't get abs like these 160 00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:55,979 eating Peanut Butter Patties, you know? 161 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:59,990 Go ahead, hit me. Come on! Give it a shot. Come on. 162 00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:03,388 (LAUGHING) 163 00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:07,724 It's ridiculous, isn't it? 164 00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:11,129 Bye-bye. 165 00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:15,234 It's ridiculous. 166 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,002 (DOORBELL RINGS) 167 00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:24,108 I don't know what it is you're selling. Look what I have, here's a hundo. 168 00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:26,377 I don't want any money. I want... 169 00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:30,216 I know. I know what you want. I get it. It's what the world wants. 170 00:11:30,322 --> 00:11:33,689 An autograph of Joe Kingman. They all want it, eight to 80. 171 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:36,387 You'll probably go sell it, but I'm going to give it to you for free. 172 00:11:36,495 --> 00:11:38,520 Because I'm Joe Kingman, humanitarian. 173 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,861 Happy New Year. I'll be right back. 174 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,666 You have a bulldog. Come here, boy. 175 00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:46,399 You're so cute. 176 00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:47,472 (EXCLAIMING) 177 00:11:47,573 --> 00:11:49,700 Easy, easy. He's a very vicious attack dog. 178 00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,777 Yeah. He's going to lick me to death. 179 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:56,007 Listen, you just can't come walking into strangers' homes like this. 180 00:11:56,949 --> 00:11:58,382 There are a lot of weirdos out there in the world. 181 00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:00,452 -Didn't your mom ever teach you that? -Yeah. 182 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,987 -Well, where is she? -On an airplane. 183 00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:05,250 On an airplane? Well, who are you here with? 184 00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:06,381 My father. 185 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:09,256 Well, you better go get him, because I'm sure he's looking for you. 186 00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:12,421 -He's not looking for me. -How do you know? 187 00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:15,591 Because he's looking at me. 188 00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,101 What? 189 00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:23,164 Hi, we've never met before. You were married to my mom, Sara. 190 00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:24,606 Sara Kelly? 191 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:29,078 My name is Peyton. I'm your daughter. 192 00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:47,323 (EXHALES) 193 00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:02,278 No. No. Nope. No! 194 00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:07,185 No. Time out. Sara and I never had a kid. 195 00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:16,357 -She wrote you a note. -Wrote me a note. 196 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:19,993 (SCOFFS) 197 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:28,903 "Joe, I know this is a big surprise, but Peyton is your daughter. 198 00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:32,603 "I need you to watch her for a month. It's an emergency. 199 00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:35,908 "I'll explain everything when I get back. Sara." 200 00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:39,378 You sure got a lot of pictures of yourself in here. 201 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,613 You expect me to believe you're my kid, based on this? 202 00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:44,780 -Anybody could have written this. -Oh, yeah. 203 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:45,948 (JOE SCOFFS) 204 00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:49,452 I've also got this. It's my birth certificate. 205 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,257 Birth certificate? 206 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:58,231 -Your name is on it. -(CHUCKLING) My name is... 207 00:13:59,705 --> 00:14:00,672 My name? 208 00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:01,899 Awesome! 209 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,202 ELECTRONIC VOICE: Ready? Break! 210 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,375 My name's not on this. 211 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:08,306 "Joseph Kingman." 212 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:10,782 (SPEED-DIALING) 213 00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:12,109 Hut! Hut! Hut! 214 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,613 -We've got a situation. -Touchdown! 215 00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:22,620 Fix it. 216 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,587 Oh! 217 00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,956 Don't you think you should have told me about this? 218 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,331 -I didn't know. -You didn't know you had an ex-wife? 219 00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:33,462 That was a long time ago. We were crazy in love, but too young. 220 00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:37,440 Didn't even last longer than a year, and we never had a baby. 221 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,170 Okay, but for argument's sake, 222 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:43,442 is there the teeniest, tiniest possibility that this child could be yours? 223 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,608 Think hard. 224 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,083 (STAMMERING) I don't know. 225 00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,120 We got the separation, the divorce was final, 226 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:52,554 she came by to pick up a few of her things and then we... 227 00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:53,750 (STUTTERING) We... 228 00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:00,226 Is anyone else hungry? 229 00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:02,323 -Hungry? -Joe... 230 00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:05,631 When did this, "We... We... Is anyone else hungry" happen? 231 00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:07,905 About eight, nine years ago. 232 00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:09,998 -How old are you, kid? -Eight. 233 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,477 Congratulations, Joe. 234 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,008 This isn't happening to me. 235 00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:16,546 (SPIKE WAILING) 236 00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:19,482 Muffin, just talk to your Auntie Stella. 237 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,643 Hmm? 238 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:25,013 It says here that your mom is not coming back for a month. 239 00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:27,524 She's on her way to Africa. 240 00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:30,424 What kind of a selfish, self-centered person dumps their kid... 241 00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:34,932 She's on a water sanitation project bringing fresh drinking water 242 00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,901 to the drought-ravaged children of the Sudan. 243 00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:41,404 If I had a dime for every time I heard that one. 244 00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,031 So on her way to save the world, 245 00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:45,610 your mom just suddenly decided to leave you here? 246 00:15:45,711 --> 00:15:50,444 I begged her. I said, "Well, why don't I stay with my father?" 247 00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:54,815 And she said, "Well, baby, he doesn't know about you yet." And I said... 248 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:58,583 I get it. I get it. So, who else can you stay with? 249 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,953 I got it. I got it. I'm a genius. 250 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:04,458 Sara has a sister. 251 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:10,090 Goombah, Grip, Grime... Carmen! 252 00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:12,397 -Karen. -Karen. What about her? 253 00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:14,637 She's... 254 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,038 She's dead. 255 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,006 Oh, that's convenient. 256 00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:22,971 What? 257 00:16:23,682 --> 00:16:25,240 How do we get in touch with your mom? 258 00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:27,376 -Her cell won't work in Kassala. -Email? 259 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,283 They don't have Internet there. 260 00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:30,912 How did you get here again? 261 00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:34,720 We flew to Boston together, and then she put me in a car. 262 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:39,730 And the car just magically dropped you off at some man's house? 263 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:43,962 -Not some man. My father. -So you say. 264 00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:47,937 -Want a paternity test? -Yes. That's a great idea. 265 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,940 Let's do that. No problem. 266 00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,670 I don't like needles. So if they don't take blood, no problem. 267 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:55,872 Not in the middle of negotiating our Fanny's deal, it's not. 268 00:16:55,981 --> 00:16:58,176 These things never stay quiet, trust me. 269 00:16:58,283 --> 00:16:59,443 If she does turn out to be yours, 270 00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:01,382 you'll look like a guy who had a kid and ditched her 271 00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:03,978 and you can kiss your mega-bucks goodbye. 272 00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:06,523 -Stella. -Hmm. 273 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,551 We don't even look alike. 274 00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:16,625 Oh, no. Not at all. 275 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,968 -Thanks a lot for the heads up, Larry. -Hey, I told you she was cute. 276 00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:22,335 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 277 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:37,246 I'm late. 278 00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:38,751 (GULPS) 279 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,359 Let's go. No huddle. 280 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:44,657 -No back seat. -So what? Get in the car. 281 00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:48,096 If you get in an accident, the air bag will hurt me. 282 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:52,000 Oh, come on, I don't have time for the safety lesson, please! 283 00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:56,771 Come here. 284 00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:14,353 (HORNS HONKING) 285 00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:18,823 So late. 286 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,399 I've got four weeks to make up for eight years, 287 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,593 so let's get started, shall we? 288 00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:26,101 I'm going to ask you some questions 289 00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:28,435 and you're going to give me some answers, okay? 290 00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:30,064 Now, for example, 291 00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:34,578 if you asked me what my favorite thing to do was, I would say ballet. 292 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,648 So what's your favorite thing to do? 293 00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:38,841 That's easy. Play football. 294 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:39,940 Football. 295 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:41,041 (HONKS HORN) 296 00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:42,381 Come on! 297 00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:46,889 If you could only save one thing in a fire, what would it be? 298 00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:48,960 My Heisman. 299 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,858 No, wait... I know. 300 00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:56,063 My limited edition Joe Kingman sneakers. 301 00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:03,507 Come on, horseradish. No more questions. 302 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,440 Just one more question. 303 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,707 What's the best thing that's ever happened to you? 304 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,216 Listen, I got a question for you. 305 00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:16,014 Why didn't your mom just bring you here herself? 306 00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:19,517 Want a cookie? 307 00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,923 No, I don't want a cookie. Stop trying to change the subject. 308 00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:23,892 But you said you were hungry. 309 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,523 -And I made them special for you. -Fine, fine. 310 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:34,127 -Now, about your mom. -I told you, it was last-minute. 311 00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:36,503 I just can't believe that the Sara I knew 312 00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:40,339 would just let her daughter show up at my doorstep alone. 313 00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:45,442 (COUGHS) 314 00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,318 I know what happened. 315 00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:49,717 -You do? -Yeah. 316 00:19:49,821 --> 00:19:51,049 (COUGHING) 317 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,285 -She's gained a lot of weight. -No. 318 00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:57,828 What's she pushing now? About 180? 319 00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,056 Deuce? 320 00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:06,028 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 321 00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:08,768 (SLURRING) Let's go. 322 00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:12,372 What do you think, you're some roaming free safety or something? 323 00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:14,911 This is "cover-two," little lady, so stay close. 324 00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:16,002 Are you okay? 325 00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:19,675 Do I sound okay? What did you put in those cookies? 326 00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:24,222 -Milk, flour, eggs and cinnamon... -Cinnamon! 327 00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:26,883 Cinnamon? I'm allergic to cinnamon. 328 00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:29,552 -Oh, I'm sorry. -All you got to say is, "I'm sorry"? 329 00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:32,562 I sound like this, "I'm sorry"? Cinnamon! 330 00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:36,731 I'm allergic to nuts. 331 00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:40,066 Joe. Joe, don't forget I got that publicity shoot set up for you today. 332 00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:42,265 -You have to be there this time. -I'll be there. 333 00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:43,864 What do you think, I'm stupid or something? 334 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,603 Stop touching me. 335 00:20:47,112 --> 00:20:48,670 Stop eating so much. 336 00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:52,181 -You're late, Joe. That's a $500 fine. -Start a tab. 337 00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:55,776 Hey, sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. 338 00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:00,524 King's here, Danville. I got it. King's here. 339 00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:02,651 Get a submarine sandwich and a diet soda. 340 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:03,428 All right, let's go. Sixty-six seam, slot left on three, on three. Ready? 341 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,989 All right, let's go. Sixty-six seam, slot left on three, on three. Ready? 342 00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:10,766 (SLURRING) Suffering succotash, Sylvester, 343 00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:14,396 something seems to be wrong with your mouth. 344 00:21:14,506 --> 00:21:18,272 I said sixty-six, slot seam left on three. On three. Ready? 345 00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:19,674 (ALL LAUGHING) 346 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,611 Hey, Joe. Looks like you got a rogue fan. 347 00:21:22,714 --> 00:21:26,445 -I'm not a fan. I'm Joe's daughter. -What's everybody staring at? 348 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:28,745 I didn't know Joe had a kid. 349 00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:31,220 Yo, I don't think Joe knew Joe had a kid. 350 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,216 (EXCLAIMS) 351 00:21:36,928 --> 00:21:39,488 -Stay here. -(SLURRING) Yes, sir. 352 00:21:40,932 --> 00:21:42,399 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 353 00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:43,468 (MUMBLES) 354 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,096 Hat. 355 00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:49,199 Give me this! 356 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,242 Here's what you got to read right there. You all set? 357 00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:54,904 Here we go. And three, two, one... Go! 358 00:21:55,013 --> 00:21:58,346 Boston Rebels! Experience the heat! 359 00:21:58,450 --> 00:21:59,417 (BEEPING) 360 00:22:01,753 --> 00:22:04,620 Boston Rebels! Catch the magic. 361 00:22:04,956 --> 00:22:09,290 Boston Rebels! Feel the... Wait a minute. Who writes this? 362 00:22:10,462 --> 00:22:11,486 (CHUCKLES) 363 00:22:11,596 --> 00:22:14,588 Hey, let's get Joe. He won't be expecting it. 364 00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:16,600 We'll put ice in his bath. 365 00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:19,364 Coop, look. Look real close. 366 00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:21,999 Joe is in an ice bath. 367 00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:26,135 -Well, we'll put colder ice in it. -Glove. 368 00:22:27,446 --> 00:22:28,640 Yeah. 369 00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:32,544 Webber, think about this. 370 00:22:33,552 --> 00:22:35,543 Big surprise, eh, Kingman? 371 00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:38,087 More like a safety blitz. 372 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:39,316 Yeah, well, you should be happy. 373 00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:42,621 I remember how happy I was when my kids were born. 374 00:22:42,728 --> 00:22:43,956 JOE: Yeah, but you knew they were coming. 375 00:22:44,062 --> 00:22:46,622 Yeah, well, either way, she's here now. 376 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:50,528 What's your name, sweetheart? 377 00:22:50,635 --> 00:22:52,398 -Peyton. -Peyton, that's cute. 378 00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:54,028 -Hi, Peyton. -Hi. 379 00:22:54,139 --> 00:22:57,233 Oh, that's cool. Like... Like, Peyton Manning? 380 00:22:57,342 --> 00:22:59,572 No, dude. It's like Walter Payton, right? 381 00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:01,305 No. Peyton Rous. 382 00:23:04,149 --> 00:23:06,549 -Who's that? -He won the Nobel Prize. 383 00:23:06,651 --> 00:23:08,141 For what team? 384 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:13,816 In medicine. 385 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,529 He's not even a football player. That's stupid. 386 00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:20,860 "Stupid" is a mean word. 387 00:23:20,966 --> 00:23:22,627 -No, it isn't. -Yes, it is. 388 00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:23,758 -No, it isn't. -Yes, it is. 389 00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:24,858 -Isn't. -Is! 390 00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:25,937 -Isn't. -Is! 391 00:23:26,037 --> 00:23:27,868 JOE: Quiet. Both of you. 392 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,811 (GROWLS) 393 00:23:37,015 --> 00:23:40,416 Step away from my pants. 394 00:23:41,319 --> 00:23:42,786 Awkward. 395 00:23:44,022 --> 00:23:45,421 Hey, sweetie, it's okay. 396 00:23:45,524 --> 00:23:47,856 See, those are Monroe's very special underwear. 397 00:23:47,959 --> 00:23:49,824 You see, he needs to wear them every game, 398 00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:51,691 -or he thinks we won't win. -Oh. 399 00:23:51,797 --> 00:23:52,786 (JOE CHATTERING ON TV) 400 00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:55,059 Hey, I'm on SportsCenter again. 401 00:23:58,937 --> 00:24:00,234 I'm hungry. 402 00:24:00,338 --> 00:24:01,362 (CLEARS THROAT) 403 00:24:01,473 --> 00:24:03,998 Please don't touch anything. Stand right here. 404 00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:06,634 Tonight's Tuesday. We're going to carbo-load. 405 00:24:07,779 --> 00:24:10,111 Twenty-twenty-sixty ratio. 406 00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:11,239 What? 407 00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:14,843 Hey, do you have any Jell-O? I want some Jell-O. 408 00:24:14,986 --> 00:24:15,975 (CLEARS THROAT) 409 00:24:16,087 --> 00:24:18,715 Like I said, please don't touch. Fingerprints. I don't like fingerprints. 410 00:24:18,824 --> 00:24:19,813 Stand right here, don't do anything. 411 00:24:19,925 --> 00:24:22,393 I'm not giving you 28 grams of empty carbohydrates. 412 00:24:22,494 --> 00:24:25,463 We do not do simple sugars in this house. 413 00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:29,523 But I'm a kid and kids love sugar. I mean, the simpler the better. 414 00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:31,465 Well, my dad never let me have sugar. 415 00:24:31,570 --> 00:24:34,334 Oh, is that why you never smile? 416 00:24:36,174 --> 00:24:37,266 Mmm. 417 00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:45,248 (SLURPING) 418 00:24:45,884 --> 00:24:48,876 Listen, you better eat your food before it gets cold. 419 00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:50,955 But it's as big as a mountain. 420 00:24:52,858 --> 00:24:55,452 Listen, if you're going to make the pros, you have to get your appetite up. 421 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,027 Let's go. Eat. 422 00:24:58,897 --> 00:25:00,592 You got a little... 423 00:25:00,699 --> 00:25:03,896 -A little something right here. -What? 424 00:25:05,737 --> 00:25:06,795 I got what? 425 00:25:14,646 --> 00:25:17,342 I'm going to go and wash the dishes. 426 00:25:17,449 --> 00:25:18,973 You can eat. 427 00:25:20,151 --> 00:25:23,086 And finish eating. 428 00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:34,056 I don't have a guest room because I don't like guests. 429 00:25:34,165 --> 00:25:35,860 But you can sleep here. 430 00:25:35,967 --> 00:25:38,492 -What's this? -That is a universal remote. 431 00:25:38,603 --> 00:25:41,037 It controls the world. And you don't need to touch it. 432 00:25:41,139 --> 00:25:43,164 What's the "romance" button for? 433 00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:48,110 The romance button is for a little Valentine's Day magic. 434 00:25:49,247 --> 00:25:50,407 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 435 00:25:50,515 --> 00:25:51,607 (JOE EXCLAIMING) 436 00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:54,947 Turn... Turn this off. Turn it off. Turn it off. 437 00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:56,020 (LAUGHING) 438 00:25:57,589 --> 00:26:00,456 Turn it off. Press the button. Turn it off. 439 00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:01,583 (MUSIC STOPS) 440 00:26:01,693 --> 00:26:03,160 (MACHINERY WHIRRING) 441 00:26:04,496 --> 00:26:06,259 Stop touching things. 442 00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:11,634 Aren't you going to tell me a bedtime story? 443 00:26:14,439 --> 00:26:16,964 Bedtime story... Bedtime story. 444 00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:18,042 (CLEARS THROAT) 445 00:26:18,677 --> 00:26:19,803 Yeah. 446 00:26:23,148 --> 00:26:26,083 The Big Bad Wolf 447 00:26:26,184 --> 00:26:28,778 blew down the Grammy's house 448 00:26:28,887 --> 00:26:31,856 and ate the Goldilocks 449 00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:35,154 and then there was something about the porridge. 450 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:36,454 The end. 451 00:26:36,561 --> 00:26:37,789 Good night. 452 00:26:37,896 --> 00:26:40,364 I mean a real bedtime story, Joe. 453 00:26:40,932 --> 00:26:42,297 (SIGHS) 454 00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:46,336 A bedtime story is supposed to make you feel peaceful. 455 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:48,338 I'll show you. 456 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,307 Lean back, relax, and listen to the story. 457 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:56,178 Fine. Fine. I'm going to listen to this one time, then that's it. 458 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:59,148 Then you go to sleep. Do you understand me? 459 00:26:59,684 --> 00:27:02,380 Once upon a time there was a princess 460 00:27:02,487 --> 00:27:05,388 and she had a lot of beautiful dresses. 461 00:27:05,490 --> 00:27:08,186 She had a pink dress, a red dress, 462 00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:11,729 a blue dress, a green dress, a purple dress, 463 00:27:11,830 --> 00:27:13,889 -an orange dress, a yellow dress... -I get it. I get it. I get it. 464 00:27:13,999 --> 00:27:17,230 A lot of dresses, a lot of colors. So what? 465 00:27:18,003 --> 00:27:21,029 So each dress had a secret power. 466 00:27:21,706 --> 00:27:25,574 The pink dress, which had pink sparkles all over it, 467 00:27:25,677 --> 00:27:27,668 could make her fly. 468 00:27:27,779 --> 00:27:32,580 And the blue dress, which had blue sparkles all over it, 469 00:27:32,684 --> 00:27:34,879 could make her tiny. 470 00:27:35,587 --> 00:27:40,149 And the green dress, which had green sparkles all over it, 471 00:27:40,258 --> 00:27:42,419 could make her sleep. 472 00:27:44,029 --> 00:27:45,291 (SIGHS) 473 00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:46,591 (SNORING) 474 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:56,670 (SNORING) 475 00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:04,508 Whoa! 476 00:28:05,717 --> 00:28:07,309 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 477 00:28:08,153 --> 00:28:09,484 Hey, baby. 478 00:28:10,255 --> 00:28:11,688 Why didn't you answer me when I called? 479 00:28:11,790 --> 00:28:12,882 I was starting to get worried. 480 00:28:13,124 --> 00:28:16,992 I'm sorry. I forgot I had my phone turned off from the flight. 481 00:28:17,162 --> 00:28:21,064 Well, I'm just happy that you got there safely. So, how's it going? 482 00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:26,827 Great. Well, the food's not so hot, but my room is huge. 483 00:28:27,005 --> 00:28:28,996 Well, that's very cool, but how's the ballet? 484 00:28:29,107 --> 00:28:31,405 I mean, is it as good as they promised? 485 00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:32,976 Too soon to tell. 486 00:28:33,078 --> 00:28:37,037 Hey, listen, sweetie, it's almost time for my flight to take off, 487 00:28:37,148 --> 00:28:40,276 but I will call you as soon as I can, okay? 488 00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:42,649 I miss you so much already. 489 00:28:42,754 --> 00:28:46,952 E-mail me lots of pictures. And Peyton, I love you. 490 00:28:47,158 --> 00:28:49,422 I love you, too. Bye. 491 00:28:50,095 --> 00:28:51,995 (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 492 00:28:52,864 --> 00:28:54,229 Is there a ballet school close by? 493 00:28:54,332 --> 00:28:55,321 (GASPS) 494 00:28:55,433 --> 00:28:56,593 (GROANS) 495 00:28:56,868 --> 00:28:58,893 (SIGHS) 496 00:29:02,807 --> 00:29:03,967 Spike? 497 00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:09,237 Why is my dog in a dress with pink nail polish? 498 00:29:09,347 --> 00:29:11,474 He's learning Swan Lake. 499 00:29:11,983 --> 00:29:13,348 (SIGHING) 500 00:29:13,451 --> 00:29:15,646 Do you know how to fix a ballerina bun? 501 00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:19,246 Do I look like I know how to fix a ballerina bun? 502 00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:25,053 (CRACKING KNUCKLES) 503 00:29:27,465 --> 00:29:31,026 My mom says we're not supposed to pop our knuckles. 504 00:29:31,136 --> 00:29:33,468 Well, your mom didn't sleep on a hard sofa 505 00:29:33,571 --> 00:29:37,598 instead of her specially designed $10,000 orthopedic bed 506 00:29:37,709 --> 00:29:42,009 made by Dr. Johan Gustavo, of Switzerland. 507 00:29:44,015 --> 00:29:45,277 (CRACKS KNUCKLES) 508 00:29:45,683 --> 00:29:50,052 -What's... What's with the Beethoven? -It's Tchaikovsky. 509 00:29:50,155 --> 00:29:52,453 -Do you listen to this every morning? -No. 510 00:29:52,557 --> 00:29:55,526 Sometimes I listen to Bach, or Rachmaninoff... 511 00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:57,254 (EXCLAIMING) 512 00:29:58,997 --> 00:30:00,555 Do you have an iPod? 513 00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:04,329 Because I'm going to buy you one. Immediately. Right now. 514 00:30:04,435 --> 00:30:06,460 I'm going to buy you an iPod. 515 00:30:06,571 --> 00:30:08,471 (GROANING) 516 00:30:08,573 --> 00:30:10,006 Until then... 517 00:30:10,108 --> 00:30:11,598 Whoa... 518 00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:13,507 (GROANING) 519 00:30:14,179 --> 00:30:15,737 What is this? 520 00:30:15,847 --> 00:30:19,908 My Bedazzler. Doesn't Camille look pretty? 521 00:30:20,018 --> 00:30:21,246 A Bedazzler? 522 00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:28,516 And that's why I use tuna for protein and flavor. 523 00:30:28,726 --> 00:30:29,715 Mmm. 524 00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:32,626 -Gross. -Little liquid chickens. 525 00:30:33,431 --> 00:30:35,399 (EXCLAIMS lN DISGUST) 526 00:30:36,768 --> 00:30:38,827 Yeah, that's my favorite. 527 00:30:39,470 --> 00:30:40,903 Joe's juice. 528 00:30:43,408 --> 00:30:44,875 Okay. That's enough. 529 00:30:45,443 --> 00:30:46,432 I'm gonna need you to drink up. 530 00:30:46,544 --> 00:30:49,877 You'll be running the 40 in under 4.5 in no time. 531 00:30:50,048 --> 00:30:51,345 (EXCLAIMS) 532 00:30:52,250 --> 00:30:54,684 That smells worse than school food. 533 00:30:54,786 --> 00:30:57,846 You know, speaking of school, why aren't you in it? 534 00:30:58,890 --> 00:31:02,053 -I'm on break. -In January? No you're not. 535 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:06,597 Yes, I am. I go to a magnet school, so I have January off. 536 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:08,393 Really? Well, guess what? I'm not on break. 537 00:31:08,499 --> 00:31:10,763 As a matter of fact, I'm on the opposite of break. 538 00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:11,995 So I'm gonna need you to come over here, 539 00:31:12,103 --> 00:31:13,832 put some hustle in it, and drink your breakfast. 540 00:31:13,938 --> 00:31:15,405 -Peyton, stop messing around. -What? 541 00:31:15,506 --> 00:31:16,495 Peyton! 542 00:31:16,608 --> 00:31:17,597 No! 543 00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:18,937 (SCREAMING) 544 00:31:19,444 --> 00:31:20,934 (SPIKE BARKING) 545 00:31:29,854 --> 00:31:30,878 Nice. 546 00:31:31,956 --> 00:31:33,548 That's real nice. 547 00:31:43,468 --> 00:31:47,564 -You know what a playbook is? -I'm guessing it's a book with plays? 548 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:53,442 Oh, I get it. The Xs are for kisses and the Os for hugs. 549 00:31:53,544 --> 00:31:56,604 Wrong! The X's mean "stay out of these areas of the house." 550 00:31:56,714 --> 00:31:58,375 The O's mean "open access." 551 00:31:58,483 --> 00:32:01,543 For example, you want to go to the kitchen, straight buttonhook. 552 00:32:01,653 --> 00:32:04,451 But now you go to the kitchen, big X. 553 00:32:04,555 --> 00:32:06,682 Off limits. No access. 554 00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:09,487 Can't go there, because you made a mess in the kitchen. 555 00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:10,891 Do you understand? 556 00:32:10,995 --> 00:32:13,429 No trick plays, no flea-flickers. Got it? 557 00:32:13,531 --> 00:32:15,192 Got it. No flea-flickers. 558 00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:17,768 This is your game plan. Learn it. Live it. Love it. 559 00:32:19,570 --> 00:32:21,197 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 560 00:32:21,539 --> 00:32:23,939 COACH: That's it, boys. Practice is over. 561 00:32:27,345 --> 00:32:28,972 Pick a nanny, Joe. 562 00:32:30,648 --> 00:32:32,513 -I'll take the one at... -Whoa, whoa, whoa. 563 00:32:32,984 --> 00:32:36,283 Don't you think you should ask some questions first? 564 00:32:36,721 --> 00:32:38,689 I've got great instincts. 565 00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:42,555 The one on the end, Stella. 566 00:32:42,660 --> 00:32:43,718 Edna. 567 00:32:48,032 --> 00:32:49,966 The other end, Stella. 568 00:32:52,003 --> 00:32:53,698 Blondie, you're up. 569 00:32:54,005 --> 00:32:55,472 (EXCLAIMING) 570 00:32:55,573 --> 00:32:57,473 Oh, no. No. 571 00:33:01,779 --> 00:33:03,474 The King picked me! 572 00:33:06,184 --> 00:33:09,779 We are going to be just like sisters! 573 00:33:10,254 --> 00:33:11,653 Oh, my goodness. 574 00:33:12,056 --> 00:33:13,023 You start tomorrow. 575 00:33:13,358 --> 00:33:14,689 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 576 00:33:15,059 --> 00:33:17,994 Hey. You're going to the opening tonight, right? 577 00:33:20,131 --> 00:33:21,928 It's my restaurant. 578 00:33:22,333 --> 00:33:23,459 Oh. 579 00:33:24,969 --> 00:33:27,437 Well, what are you going to do with her? 580 00:33:32,210 --> 00:33:33,575 I don't know. 581 00:33:34,045 --> 00:33:36,036 (CROWD CHEERING) 582 00:33:36,214 --> 00:33:37,875 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 583 00:33:39,751 --> 00:33:42,345 Hi. Hello. 584 00:33:47,325 --> 00:33:48,815 Welcome, Mr. Kingman. 585 00:33:50,294 --> 00:33:52,387 -The Maloofs! -About time, there, Joe. 586 00:33:52,497 --> 00:33:53,725 You made it. Have fun. 587 00:33:53,831 --> 00:33:54,798 -Yeah. -Enjoy yourself. 588 00:33:58,002 --> 00:33:59,435 -Hey, Joe. -Hey, man. 589 00:33:59,537 --> 00:34:00,765 -How you doing? -Hey. 590 00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,033 -Jo Jo! -Hey, nice to see you. 591 00:34:03,775 --> 00:34:05,800 JOE: Hey, everything's on Joe tonight. 592 00:34:05,910 --> 00:34:07,002 (LAUGHING) 593 00:34:07,378 --> 00:34:09,676 And that's exactly what I said. I told them. 594 00:34:09,781 --> 00:34:11,578 I said, "Listen, I'm the greatest." 595 00:34:13,084 --> 00:34:15,382 The purple or the yellow? 596 00:34:16,854 --> 00:34:17,821 Hmm. 597 00:34:21,526 --> 00:34:22,493 Mmm? 598 00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,188 Mmm. 599 00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:28,862 That's what I was thinking, too. 600 00:34:35,573 --> 00:34:36,767 I'll be back. 601 00:34:40,144 --> 00:34:41,907 Water the lawn. Water the lawn. 602 00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:44,207 Hey, great night, Mr. Kingman. 603 00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:46,647 Indeed it was, Jay. Indeed it was. 604 00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:48,616 MAN: Hey, Joe! This way! 605 00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:52,052 Number one on the field and number one in your heart. 606 00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:56,890 (MY GIRL PLAYING ON RADIO) 607 00:34:56,994 --> 00:35:00,828 (SINGING) I've got sunshine 608 00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:03,924 On a cloudy day 609 00:35:04,035 --> 00:35:05,024 Yes, I do. 610 00:35:06,737 --> 00:35:10,571 When it's cold outside 611 00:35:10,675 --> 00:35:14,736 I've got the month of May 612 00:35:16,247 --> 00:35:19,978 I guess you'd say 613 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:22,653 What can make me 614 00:35:22,653 --> 00:35:22,982 What can make me 615 00:35:23,087 --> 00:35:25,112 feel this way 616 00:35:25,223 --> 00:35:26,247 My girl 617 00:35:26,357 --> 00:35:27,381 Joe? 618 00:35:28,092 --> 00:35:29,218 My girl 619 00:35:29,327 --> 00:35:31,727 Talking about my girl 620 00:35:31,829 --> 00:35:33,820 My girl... Peyton! 621 00:35:37,101 --> 00:35:38,329 (HONKING HORN) 622 00:35:39,637 --> 00:35:40,831 Joe? 623 00:35:41,672 --> 00:35:44,106 Joe. Joe, where are you? 624 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:49,041 There you are. Joe, I thought you forgot about me. 625 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:52,082 Peyton! Peyton! Peyton! 626 00:35:52,183 --> 00:35:53,707 -MAN: Hey, Joe, is that your daughter? -Peyton! 627 00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:55,615 Hey, Joe, you forget something? 628 00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:57,153 MAN: Father of the year! 629 00:36:01,859 --> 00:36:04,828 Yesterday, Fanny's Burgers agreed to hand out 630 00:36:04,929 --> 00:36:07,762 your action figure with every order of fries. 631 00:36:07,865 --> 00:36:09,765 But do you think they're going to want a spokesman 632 00:36:09,867 --> 00:36:12,836 who forgot his child in a bar? 633 00:36:12,937 --> 00:36:13,926 Hmm? 634 00:36:14,038 --> 00:36:17,769 My mom says that Fanny's makes kids fat and gives them gas. 635 00:36:18,442 --> 00:36:23,345 Well, your daddy's agent says Fanny's makes him fat with cash. 636 00:36:24,248 --> 00:36:27,479 Now, I have to put together a press conference, do some cleanup. 637 00:36:27,585 --> 00:36:30,713 I'm the janitor, Joe's the mop, and Peyton's the mess. 638 00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:36,718 What? 639 00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:38,350 (LAUGHING) 640 00:36:38,462 --> 00:36:40,862 -Something funny, Larry? -Just a little throat tickle, sir. 641 00:36:40,965 --> 00:36:42,728 Well, get it fixed. 642 00:36:42,833 --> 00:36:44,801 Right here. Chop-chop. 643 00:36:47,872 --> 00:36:49,305 You got a station wagon, Stella? 644 00:36:49,407 --> 00:36:51,773 (CHUCKLES) No, you did. 645 00:36:52,710 --> 00:36:56,202 Say "bye-bye" to being the Big Bad Dad of Boston. 646 00:37:02,954 --> 00:37:04,114 Oh, no. 647 00:37:05,423 --> 00:37:06,720 Oh, yes. 648 00:37:07,091 --> 00:37:08,820 (PEOPLE CLAMORING) 649 00:37:08,926 --> 00:37:10,359 (CAMERAS CLICKING) 650 00:37:11,062 --> 00:37:13,030 You want me to sign that? 651 00:37:14,098 --> 00:37:19,297 Peyton, sweetie, be a good girl and cooperate with your daddy 652 00:37:19,403 --> 00:37:23,169 and Auntie Stella will get you a nice new BlackBerry with a Bluetooth. 653 00:37:26,711 --> 00:37:29,544 And an upgrade on your next international flight. 654 00:37:29,647 --> 00:37:30,705 I'm eight. 655 00:37:31,349 --> 00:37:33,283 Listen, Bratty McPain-in-the-Butt, 656 00:37:33,384 --> 00:37:35,648 you will do whatever it takes to help your father. 657 00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:36,879 (CLEARS THROAT) 658 00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:40,955 I'll pay for the therapy. 659 00:37:41,058 --> 00:37:44,494 Listen, Peyton, what Stella's trying to say here is 660 00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:46,028 this right now is crunch time. 661 00:37:46,130 --> 00:37:47,893 So, if something's bothering you, then all you got to do... 662 00:37:47,999 --> 00:37:50,627 Let's keep it bottled up until after the playoffs. 663 00:37:50,735 --> 00:37:51,793 Fine. 664 00:37:53,337 --> 00:37:54,929 On one condition. 665 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:56,966 No nanny. 666 00:37:57,074 --> 00:37:58,063 (SCOFFS) 667 00:37:58,175 --> 00:37:59,472 No way. 668 00:38:04,715 --> 00:38:06,114 Hey... 669 00:38:06,217 --> 00:38:10,244 -Let's go. Come on. -I'm feeling a little dizzy, Joe. 670 00:38:10,755 --> 00:38:12,484 Everything's all... 671 00:38:12,757 --> 00:38:14,019 (EXCLAIMS) 672 00:38:14,358 --> 00:38:15,916 -Dizzy? -I think it might be 673 00:38:16,027 --> 00:38:20,430 from that funny yellow soft drink Joe gave me last night. 674 00:38:20,531 --> 00:38:22,692 What was it called again? 675 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,131 (MUMBLES) 676 00:38:24,235 --> 00:38:25,930 Margarita? 677 00:38:26,370 --> 00:38:27,735 -You wouldn't. -You wouldn't. 678 00:38:27,838 --> 00:38:29,533 Try me. 679 00:38:30,641 --> 00:38:31,630 (EXCLAIMING) 680 00:38:31,742 --> 00:38:34,233 Good morning, Joe. I'm ready to start! 681 00:38:34,345 --> 00:38:36,108 Hey, Cindy! 682 00:38:37,381 --> 00:38:38,746 You're fired. 683 00:38:40,351 --> 00:38:41,409 Bye. 684 00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:43,550 (REPORTERS CLAMORING) 685 00:38:43,688 --> 00:38:45,121 Joe! Joe! 686 00:38:45,289 --> 00:38:46,779 Hey, Joe, how can you remember the plays 687 00:38:46,891 --> 00:38:48,381 when you can't remember you have a daughter? 688 00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:52,553 Joe, what is an 8-year-old girl doing in a nightclub at 3:00 in the morning? 689 00:38:53,464 --> 00:38:55,455 Thank you. Thank you guys so much for coming out. 690 00:38:55,566 --> 00:38:57,033 Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, 691 00:38:57,134 --> 00:38:58,123 thank you so much for coming. 692 00:38:58,235 --> 00:39:00,499 Great questions, by the way. Thank you. 693 00:39:01,739 --> 00:39:06,176 As you all know by now, I've recently learned I'm a father. 694 00:39:07,078 --> 00:39:10,309 And clearly, I'm still getting the hang of things. 695 00:39:12,216 --> 00:39:13,911 MAN : That's not an excuse, Joe. 696 00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:20,384 But you better believe that Peyton's nightclub evenings are behind her. 697 00:39:20,491 --> 00:39:24,325 Because from now on, we're both going to be going to sleep early, right? 698 00:39:24,428 --> 00:39:25,588 (CHUCKLES) 699 00:39:25,696 --> 00:39:28,358 Now, who's number one on the field and number one in your heart? 700 00:39:34,772 --> 00:39:36,000 Let's go. 701 00:39:37,274 --> 00:39:39,139 Can I say something, please? 702 00:39:39,243 --> 00:39:40,437 No. Let's go. 703 00:39:43,481 --> 00:39:45,813 Hi, everybody, I'm Peyton, 704 00:39:45,916 --> 00:39:49,079 the one who'll be going to bed early from now on. 705 00:39:49,754 --> 00:39:51,551 (ALL LAUGHING) 706 00:39:53,391 --> 00:39:54,380 (CLEARS THROAT) 707 00:39:54,492 --> 00:39:58,258 My dad didn't have much of a heads-up on this whole father thing 708 00:39:58,362 --> 00:40:02,128 and he is still getting the hang of things. 709 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:05,498 But it's like everything else in his life. 710 00:40:05,603 --> 00:40:07,332 He never says "no. " 711 00:40:07,772 --> 00:40:11,037 I mean, he's teaching me that you can do anything 712 00:40:11,142 --> 00:40:14,873 if you've got motivation and determination. 713 00:40:16,380 --> 00:40:18,780 And the place where that starts 714 00:40:20,651 --> 00:40:23,984 is right here, in the heart. 715 00:40:25,489 --> 00:40:27,980 You're the world's greatest father. 716 00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:29,525 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 717 00:40:31,495 --> 00:40:32,860 That was good. 718 00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:36,495 -That was really good. -It's going to cost you. 719 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:37,624 (GIGGLING) 720 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:46,835 MONIQUE: ...two, three, four, grand pli�... 721 00:40:46,944 --> 00:40:48,912 There you go, there you go. 722 00:40:49,914 --> 00:40:51,040 And... 723 00:40:51,849 --> 00:40:54,340 Come on, this isn't a sport. 724 00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:56,784 Football. Football's a sport. 725 00:40:56,887 --> 00:40:59,447 Excuse me. Hi. Can I help you? 726 00:40:59,557 --> 00:41:01,388 Hello. This is Peyton. 727 00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:05,254 -Hi. -And she's here for this. 728 00:41:05,930 --> 00:41:08,091 So, I guess I'll be back in a couple of hours. Bye. 729 00:41:08,199 --> 00:41:10,190 Well, class started 15 minutes ago, 730 00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:12,326 and we don't accept students without an audition 731 00:41:12,436 --> 00:41:15,405 and that happened last month, so I'm really sorry. 732 00:41:17,141 --> 00:41:19,803 I'm sure maybe we can work something out? 733 00:41:19,910 --> 00:41:22,242 Money's no object, as you probably know. 734 00:41:23,113 --> 00:41:26,913 Okay, the thing is that this is a professional school, and... 735 00:41:29,453 --> 00:41:30,920 -That's very nice. -Thank you. 736 00:41:31,021 --> 00:41:32,613 Go change, go on, go change. 737 00:41:32,723 --> 00:41:34,691 Let me see how she does today. Okay? 738 00:41:34,792 --> 00:41:36,123 All right. 739 00:41:38,562 --> 00:41:39,790 (GIRL SCREAMS) 740 00:41:42,066 --> 00:41:43,226 (JOE CLEARS THROAT) 741 00:41:44,368 --> 00:41:45,733 (GIRLS LAUGHING) 742 00:41:47,638 --> 00:41:49,902 Maybe I'll... I'll try and... We'll get somebody... 743 00:41:50,007 --> 00:41:52,373 The moms sit over there. 744 00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:55,479 Excuse me. Thank you. 745 00:41:55,579 --> 00:41:56,705 (CLEARS THROAT) 746 00:42:01,118 --> 00:42:03,313 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 747 00:42:03,654 --> 00:42:06,987 And one, two, three, very long... 748 00:42:07,558 --> 00:42:08,991 Come on, come on. 749 00:42:09,093 --> 00:42:13,496 And one, two, three, four. 750 00:42:13,597 --> 00:42:16,327 Open up, like a princess, chin up. 751 00:42:16,433 --> 00:42:17,730 Thank you. 752 00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:19,132 Beautiful class, everybody. Beautiful. 753 00:42:19,236 --> 00:42:20,294 (ALL APPLAUDING) 754 00:42:20,404 --> 00:42:25,373 Peyton, come here. Can I tell you that that was so, so good. 755 00:42:25,409 --> 00:42:26,376 Thank you. 756 00:42:26,477 --> 00:42:28,502 Our next big performance is in three weeks. 757 00:42:28,612 --> 00:42:32,639 But if you promise me that you're going to work extra, extra, super, super, hard, 758 00:42:32,750 --> 00:42:34,115 we'd love to have you. 759 00:42:34,218 --> 00:42:38,177 -I'll come every single day. -All day, every day. 760 00:42:38,289 --> 00:42:41,315 Well, it is a ballet school, not a childcare facility. 761 00:42:41,425 --> 00:42:43,256 And when we make a commitment to a student, 762 00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,760 we ask that the parents make a commitment to the school. 763 00:42:45,863 --> 00:42:46,887 Can you do that? 764 00:42:46,997 --> 00:42:49,864 Well, I think you can make a little exception for me. 765 00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:52,800 -And why is that? -You don't know who I am? 766 00:42:53,938 --> 00:42:54,962 No. 767 00:42:55,072 --> 00:42:56,061 (CHUCKLING) 768 00:42:56,173 --> 00:42:59,700 I'm Joe Kingman, baby! The quarterback of the Boston Rebels. 769 00:42:59,810 --> 00:43:01,038 Number one on that field 770 00:43:01,145 --> 00:43:04,774 and number one in your pretty little heart. 771 00:43:04,882 --> 00:43:07,248 "The King of the Gridiron." 772 00:43:07,351 --> 00:43:09,216 "Never-Say-No Joe?" 773 00:43:11,722 --> 00:43:13,883 No? Nothing? 774 00:43:15,726 --> 00:43:16,852 Odd. 775 00:43:16,961 --> 00:43:20,328 -Well, don't you know who I am? -No. 776 00:43:20,431 --> 00:43:23,730 I'm Monique Vasquez, the lady with the ballet school, 777 00:43:23,834 --> 00:43:26,234 the one that doesn't accept any new students full-time 778 00:43:26,337 --> 00:43:30,398 unless she knows for a fact that the parents are going to help out. 779 00:43:31,542 --> 00:43:35,239 That's fine. Fine. I promise. Whatever. Let's go. 780 00:43:36,413 --> 00:43:37,937 Who doesn't know who Joe Kingman is? 781 00:43:38,048 --> 00:43:40,141 She must be living under a rock. 782 00:43:40,317 --> 00:43:41,682 -MAN ON TV: Raef will take it this time. -He shoots! Come on! 783 00:43:41,785 --> 00:43:42,809 -Got it. -Yeah! 784 00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:43,978 (EXCLAIMING) 785 00:43:44,088 --> 00:43:45,180 I didn't see what happened to Paul Pierce. 786 00:43:45,322 --> 00:43:46,289 We'll be right back 787 00:43:46,390 --> 00:43:47,379 -after a word from our... -Let's go, Paul! 788 00:43:47,491 --> 00:43:49,482 I can't believe they came from 10 down. 789 00:43:49,593 --> 00:43:52,994 Hey, keep this clean. Use the napkins. 790 00:43:53,097 --> 00:43:55,622 Don't look at me like that. Use a napkin. 791 00:43:55,733 --> 00:43:58,998 Yeah, you tell him. You tell him, Spike. Mean old Daddy. 792 00:43:59,103 --> 00:44:00,730 Let's get Webber. 793 00:44:07,711 --> 00:44:10,908 Webber, you want a soda? 794 00:44:11,015 --> 00:44:12,039 Huh? 795 00:44:12,149 --> 00:44:13,844 Yeah. Yeah, thanks. 796 00:44:17,054 --> 00:44:18,316 Oh... 797 00:44:18,455 --> 00:44:21,117 (ALL LAUGHING) 798 00:44:22,693 --> 00:44:25,218 -That's refreshing. -Good one. 799 00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:26,796 What's up, Joe? 800 00:44:26,897 --> 00:44:28,956 I don't know, Coop. What do you think? That's a $40,000 couch. 801 00:44:29,066 --> 00:44:31,091 I asked you to be careful! 802 00:44:31,201 --> 00:44:33,931 -Which bathroom should I use? -The one off the trophy room. 803 00:44:34,038 --> 00:44:35,164 (SPIKE BARKS) 804 00:44:35,706 --> 00:44:36,764 COOPER: Come on, Pierce! 805 00:44:36,874 --> 00:44:39,035 Paul Pierce comes down with the board. 806 00:44:39,143 --> 00:44:41,543 WEBBER: The man's a beast. You saw that, Joe. You saw that. 807 00:44:41,645 --> 00:44:43,340 That's why the Celtics are my team for life. 808 00:44:43,447 --> 00:44:44,778 Celtics got this one locked up. 809 00:44:44,882 --> 00:44:46,315 Hold on, hold on... 810 00:44:47,551 --> 00:44:49,075 (MAN CHATTERING ON TV) 811 00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:52,713 Wait a second. Wait a minute. Little bit more. 812 00:44:54,191 --> 00:44:55,180 (GROWLING) 813 00:44:55,292 --> 00:44:58,784 Stop growling. Hold on. One, two, three. 814 00:45:05,135 --> 00:45:06,602 What did I do? 815 00:45:06,704 --> 00:45:08,137 JOE: Let's go, Paul Pierce. Time to come through. 816 00:45:08,238 --> 00:45:11,366 -Okay, here we go, baby. Here we go. -Three seconds left. 817 00:45:11,508 --> 00:45:13,032 (ALL CLAMORING) 818 00:45:13,444 --> 00:45:15,344 GIRL ON TV: Welcome to the Magical World of Ponies. 819 00:45:15,512 --> 00:45:16,740 What happened? 820 00:45:19,516 --> 00:45:21,108 Get it back! Get it back! Get the game back! 821 00:45:21,218 --> 00:45:22,378 Get the mechanicals! 822 00:45:22,486 --> 00:45:24,716 The mechanicals. The mechanicals, Joe! 823 00:45:25,355 --> 00:45:27,084 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 824 00:45:28,492 --> 00:45:30,619 -What are you doing? -I'm trying! I'm trying! 825 00:45:30,728 --> 00:45:32,389 It's right there. See? 826 00:45:32,496 --> 00:45:33,485 MAN ON TV: Unbelievable! 827 00:45:33,597 --> 00:45:34,655 (GROANING) 828 00:45:34,765 --> 00:45:36,392 We missed it! 829 00:45:36,500 --> 00:45:38,832 -You gotta celebrate. -Peyton. 830 00:45:43,140 --> 00:45:44,573 What did I do? 831 00:45:44,675 --> 00:45:47,610 Thanks, Joe. Let's go, guys. 832 00:45:47,711 --> 00:45:49,906 Wait. Where are you going? 833 00:45:50,647 --> 00:45:53,138 You don't have to leave. Where are you guys going? 834 00:45:53,250 --> 00:45:54,911 -I got to get home to... -Where? 835 00:45:55,018 --> 00:45:55,985 Nothing. 836 00:45:56,086 --> 00:45:57,519 (DOOR OPENS) 837 00:45:57,988 --> 00:45:59,046 (DOOR CLOSES) 838 00:45:59,156 --> 00:46:01,147 What did I tell you about touching the remote? 839 00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:03,419 Bath. Bed. Now. 840 00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:06,825 Just got to add a little bit of bubble bath. 841 00:46:07,131 --> 00:46:10,123 Not too much. That's good. 842 00:46:11,735 --> 00:46:12,759 Perfect. 843 00:46:12,870 --> 00:46:13,928 (CHUCKLES) 844 00:46:15,873 --> 00:46:17,807 This could take a while. 845 00:46:19,810 --> 00:46:21,710 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 846 00:46:25,916 --> 00:46:28,749 MAN ON TV: But what really sets this future Hall of Famer apart... 847 00:46:28,852 --> 00:46:29,910 Passion for the game. 848 00:46:30,020 --> 00:46:31,009 (SPIKE BARKING) 849 00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:34,090 Spike, you know the rule, no barking when I'm on TV! 850 00:46:34,191 --> 00:46:35,249 Spike! 851 00:46:35,359 --> 00:46:36,383 (BARKING) 852 00:46:36,493 --> 00:46:37,585 Spike? 853 00:46:38,495 --> 00:46:39,985 What happened? 854 00:46:41,498 --> 00:46:42,465 Spike. 855 00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:44,661 Peyton? 856 00:46:45,235 --> 00:46:46,759 Peyton! Peyton! 857 00:46:49,473 --> 00:46:50,462 (SIGHS) 858 00:46:50,574 --> 00:46:51,541 Peyton! 859 00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:54,437 (SPIKE BARKING) 860 00:47:17,534 --> 00:47:19,525 I'm not going to yell. 861 00:47:19,636 --> 00:47:21,695 We're going to have a very calm 862 00:47:21,805 --> 00:47:23,033 (CLEARS THROAT) 863 00:47:23,340 --> 00:47:25,399 and rational discussion 864 00:47:26,577 --> 00:47:28,306 about all... 865 00:47:33,951 --> 00:47:37,910 You Bedazzled my football. 866 00:47:38,722 --> 00:47:40,155 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 867 00:47:52,436 --> 00:47:53,960 (SPIKE SNORING) 868 00:47:55,072 --> 00:47:57,700 You guys comfortable? My pillow. 869 00:48:01,478 --> 00:48:02,638 (GROANS) 870 00:48:03,113 --> 00:48:05,707 King on the couch! 871 00:48:11,655 --> 00:48:13,088 This is ridiculous. 872 00:48:15,525 --> 00:48:17,356 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 873 00:48:17,461 --> 00:48:19,190 Never 874 00:48:19,296 --> 00:48:20,786 say... 875 00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:21,956 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 876 00:48:22,065 --> 00:48:23,828 No! No! 877 00:48:23,934 --> 00:48:25,561 I have to warm up. 878 00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:26,892 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 879 00:48:27,004 --> 00:48:29,131 I have to practice. 880 00:48:29,573 --> 00:48:31,438 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 881 00:48:32,876 --> 00:48:35,344 I have a playoff game this weekend. 882 00:48:35,445 --> 00:48:38,005 Do you... Do you know what that means? 883 00:48:38,348 --> 00:48:39,337 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 884 00:48:39,449 --> 00:48:43,351 My guess is that it means you have a playoff game this weekend. 885 00:48:44,288 --> 00:48:45,312 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 886 00:48:45,422 --> 00:48:49,222 My dog, my bed, my car, my TV, my stereo... 887 00:48:49,326 --> 00:48:50,987 Is nothing sacred? 888 00:48:51,428 --> 00:48:52,895 (MUMBLING) 889 00:48:54,231 --> 00:48:57,029 My towel! My towel. 890 00:48:57,701 --> 00:49:00,226 This is all mine! It's all me! 891 00:49:00,337 --> 00:49:03,465 It's all mine! This is all me! This is my towel. 892 00:49:03,707 --> 00:49:06,471 MARV: Hi, everybody, I'm Marv Albert, along with Boomer Esiason. 893 00:49:06,576 --> 00:49:10,273 We're here in the Mile High City where Denver hosts Boston 894 00:49:10,380 --> 00:49:12,541 in the first round of the playoffs. 895 00:49:12,649 --> 00:49:14,617 In what should be a tremendous showdown. 896 00:49:14,718 --> 00:49:16,982 We have a rematch of last year's Conference Final 897 00:49:17,087 --> 00:49:20,545 in which Denver narrowly escaped with a 34-30 victory. 898 00:49:20,657 --> 00:49:23,217 MARV: He has the tight end screen, he side-arms it. 899 00:49:23,327 --> 00:49:25,158 The catch made by Cooper. 900 00:49:25,262 --> 00:49:27,890 Cooper on the run, picks up a blocker. 901 00:49:29,266 --> 00:49:31,393 And now, directing traffic... 902 00:49:31,501 --> 00:49:34,265 Nice cut. Cooper down the sideline! 903 00:49:34,538 --> 00:49:35,630 And he's bounced out of bounds! 904 00:49:35,739 --> 00:49:36,763 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 905 00:49:36,873 --> 00:49:38,602 Yeah! I did it again! 906 00:49:38,709 --> 00:49:40,574 Oh, our boy looks great today. 907 00:49:41,044 --> 00:49:42,909 He's going to look even greater lounging poolside 908 00:49:43,013 --> 00:49:44,173 at the new Blake resort. 909 00:49:44,281 --> 00:49:47,648 Let's just see how many Fanny's kiddie meals he sells first. 910 00:49:48,218 --> 00:49:49,378 Fanny. 911 00:49:52,589 --> 00:49:55,285 Do you work at Fanny's Burgers? 912 00:49:55,392 --> 00:49:57,826 I own Fanny's Burgers, honey. 913 00:49:57,928 --> 00:49:58,986 My mom says... 914 00:49:59,096 --> 00:50:00,188 (EXCLAIMS) 915 00:50:01,398 --> 00:50:07,530 I mean, my dad says your chili cheese fries rock. 916 00:50:07,637 --> 00:50:10,902 Yeah, they do! They rock. Come on! Kick it! 917 00:50:12,876 --> 00:50:14,867 MARV: Kingman out of the gun, takes a look. 918 00:50:14,978 --> 00:50:18,744 He has Sanders wide open. He's not going that way. 919 00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:20,476 BOOMER: Marv, I've never seen a quarterback 920 00:50:20,584 --> 00:50:22,108 who doesn't trust his wide receivers 921 00:50:22,219 --> 00:50:23,618 with a game on the line like this. 922 00:50:23,720 --> 00:50:25,654 Touchdown! It's all over! 923 00:50:25,756 --> 00:50:27,849 Boston has defeated Denver. 924 00:50:27,958 --> 00:50:28,982 All on the legs of Joe Kingman, 925 00:50:29,092 --> 00:50:30,081 (LAUGHING) 926 00:50:30,193 --> 00:50:32,889 Boston advances to next week's divisional playoffs 927 00:50:32,996 --> 00:50:34,054 for the second year in a row. 928 00:50:34,164 --> 00:50:37,065 Now, will this be the year the King takes them all the way? 929 00:50:48,345 --> 00:50:50,711 Peyton, are you okay? Why are you still here? 930 00:50:50,814 --> 00:50:53,908 I guess Joe's running a little bit late from practice. 931 00:50:54,017 --> 00:50:56,451 What, two hours late? That's unacceptable. 932 00:50:56,553 --> 00:50:58,111 Come on, sweetie. Let's go. 933 00:50:58,822 --> 00:50:59,846 JOE: Hey, King. 934 00:50:59,956 --> 00:51:00,945 (LAUGHING) 935 00:51:01,058 --> 00:51:02,047 No, I'm the king. You're the king. 936 00:51:02,159 --> 00:51:04,127 (IMITATING) Don't do it, Elvis! Don't jump. 937 00:51:04,428 --> 00:51:05,588 (CLEARS THROAT) 938 00:51:05,695 --> 00:51:07,128 Mr. Kingman? 939 00:51:08,532 --> 00:51:10,090 Oh, no. Peyton. 940 00:51:11,501 --> 00:51:12,490 Hey. 941 00:51:12,602 --> 00:51:16,538 Yeah, I guess practice ran a little longer than expected. Thanks, Bo. 942 00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:18,767 -Mr. Kingman, we need to talk about... -You know what? 943 00:51:18,875 --> 00:51:21,605 Why don't you just call me Joe? 944 00:51:22,245 --> 00:51:23,269 (LAUGHING) 945 00:51:23,380 --> 00:51:24,472 Stop it. Stop it. 946 00:51:24,581 --> 00:51:27,607 Mr. Kingman, I informed you from the start 947 00:51:27,717 --> 00:51:30,083 that we are a ballet school, not a daycare center. 948 00:51:30,187 --> 00:51:32,417 Yeah! I got that. Mental note. 949 00:51:32,522 --> 00:51:36,424 I'm glad you told me. Now I know. Ballet school, not a daycare facility. 950 00:51:37,060 --> 00:51:38,584 Sure, let me hook you up for your time, though. 951 00:51:38,695 --> 00:51:42,392 Peyton, go grab a hundo out of my bag. It's in my wallet, around the corner. 952 00:51:42,699 --> 00:51:43,893 (CHUCKLES) 953 00:51:44,267 --> 00:51:46,030 I just knew you were one of those parents. 954 00:51:46,136 --> 00:51:47,125 One of what parents? 955 00:51:47,237 --> 00:51:48,465 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 956 00:51:49,973 --> 00:51:54,410 The kind who thinks that his life is more important than anybody else's. 957 00:51:54,511 --> 00:51:57,071 Look, lady. I don't know what kind of parent I am. 958 00:51:57,180 --> 00:51:59,011 All I know is I have an entire team... 959 00:51:59,116 --> 00:52:02,347 Scratch that, an entire city depending on me. 960 00:52:02,452 --> 00:52:04,716 Yeah, you also have a daughter depending on you 961 00:52:04,821 --> 00:52:08,518 not to only take care of her, but to care about her. Okay? 962 00:52:08,625 --> 00:52:11,025 -Listen, I care about Peyton. -Then prove it! 963 00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:13,596 -I got it. -Hey, sweetie! 964 00:52:13,697 --> 00:52:15,358 Your father here was telling me how excited he is 965 00:52:15,465 --> 00:52:18,923 to finally fulfill the commitment he made to support the school. 966 00:52:19,035 --> 00:52:21,970 And guess what? I've got the perfect job for him. 967 00:52:22,072 --> 00:52:23,039 Cool. 968 00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:26,303 No, no, no. Absolutely not. You're completely insane. 969 00:52:26,409 --> 00:52:27,376 (SIGHS) 970 00:52:27,477 --> 00:52:30,378 You're a freakishly large man 971 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:33,847 and you're telling me you're incapable of playing a tree? Come on. 972 00:52:33,950 --> 00:52:36,441 No, what I'm telling you is I am a serious athlete. 973 00:52:36,553 --> 00:52:38,077 Not a ballerina. 974 00:52:38,455 --> 00:52:40,719 You do me a favor, mamita? Can you please hold this for me? 975 00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:41,791 Thank you so much. 976 00:52:41,892 --> 00:52:45,020 Trust me, no one is ever going to confuse you with a ballerina, okay? 977 00:52:45,128 --> 00:52:47,824 And now, I need you to be an enchanted tree... 978 00:52:47,931 --> 00:52:49,762 I'm not going to be an enchanted tree. I'm a quarterback! 979 00:52:49,866 --> 00:52:51,663 I'm the only one that talks. 980 00:52:52,102 --> 00:52:53,501 (INAUDIBLE) 981 00:53:12,923 --> 00:53:14,015 (EXCLAIMS) 982 00:53:18,128 --> 00:53:19,152 Up! 983 00:53:19,863 --> 00:53:20,887 (GROANS) 984 00:53:21,665 --> 00:53:22,689 (EXCLAIMS) 985 00:53:26,069 --> 00:53:28,230 ...around and... Oh, my God, no, no... Please, come over here. 986 00:53:28,338 --> 00:53:29,362 (GROANING) 987 00:53:29,472 --> 00:53:30,962 Wasn't so bad. 988 00:53:31,908 --> 00:53:34,308 We're just warming up, so come on. 989 00:53:35,745 --> 00:53:37,542 (PANTING) 990 00:53:39,149 --> 00:53:40,912 (WHEEZING) 991 00:53:48,592 --> 00:53:52,756 Hey, so what were you saying about ballet not being a real sport? 992 00:53:52,929 --> 00:53:54,362 (CLEARS THROAT) 993 00:53:54,464 --> 00:53:55,556 Hmm? 994 00:53:56,366 --> 00:53:58,357 It wasn't... It wasn't so bad. 995 00:53:59,569 --> 00:54:01,935 You see, ballerinas can leap as high as you can, 996 00:54:02,038 --> 00:54:04,506 but when they go down, they go down in pli�. 997 00:54:04,608 --> 00:54:06,701 And they hold and hold. 998 00:54:06,810 --> 00:54:10,576 And then they go en pointe for hours and hours. 999 00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:14,241 So, if ballet were easy, they'd call it football. 1000 00:54:16,820 --> 00:54:19,288 Yeah. Right. 1001 00:54:19,389 --> 00:54:20,754 Yeah, right. 1002 00:54:21,758 --> 00:54:23,282 Listen, Mr. Kingman, 1003 00:54:23,393 --> 00:54:26,123 your daughter has all the makings to be a professional dancer. 1004 00:54:26,229 --> 00:54:29,198 She has passion, talent, discipline. 1005 00:54:29,766 --> 00:54:30,733 (GIGGLES) 1006 00:54:31,901 --> 00:54:34,961 I guess she inherited more than just your charm. 1007 00:54:39,609 --> 00:54:40,906 You see? 1008 00:54:42,679 --> 00:54:44,044 Let's try that one again. 1009 00:54:44,681 --> 00:54:45,648 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 1010 00:54:45,915 --> 00:54:47,041 (ALL GROAN) 1011 00:54:50,987 --> 00:54:53,353 Where were you last night? You missed a great fight. 1012 00:54:53,456 --> 00:54:54,889 Hey, man, you look like you were in a fight. 1013 00:54:54,991 --> 00:54:57,050 I was doing some stuff. 1014 00:54:57,460 --> 00:54:59,951 Well, you could've called. You never call anymore. 1015 00:55:00,063 --> 00:55:02,293 Dude, stop being such a chick. 1016 00:55:04,434 --> 00:55:06,299 Never thought someone so little could be so much work, huh? 1017 00:55:06,403 --> 00:55:07,836 You don't know the half of it. 1018 00:55:07,937 --> 00:55:09,234 (GROANS) 1019 00:55:13,276 --> 00:55:15,437 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1020 00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:18,507 -Hello? -KAREN: Hi! 1021 00:55:19,182 --> 00:55:22,777 Listen, I finally got to a phone. I want you to tell me everything. 1022 00:55:23,286 --> 00:55:24,548 I don't know where to start. 1023 00:55:24,654 --> 00:55:26,679 How about those pictures you promised me? 1024 00:55:26,790 --> 00:55:28,519 E-mail me right now. 1025 00:55:28,625 --> 00:55:29,717 I have to see you. 1026 00:55:29,826 --> 00:55:31,157 Okay, hold on. 1027 00:55:32,228 --> 00:55:34,025 (TAPPING KEYS) 1028 00:55:34,998 --> 00:55:36,625 I just sent them. 1029 00:55:37,067 --> 00:55:38,329 You're breaking up. I love you. 1030 00:55:38,435 --> 00:55:41,029 Wait, wait. No, no, Peyton! Honey... 1031 00:55:42,038 --> 00:55:43,630 I love you, too. 1032 00:55:44,541 --> 00:55:46,509 (GROANS IN FRUSTRATION) 1033 00:55:47,944 --> 00:55:50,105 We need to talk. Follow me. 1034 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:55,340 (SIGHS) 1035 00:55:55,452 --> 00:55:57,181 I need my bed back. 1036 00:56:01,891 --> 00:56:06,260 Wow! That is awesome! I love it! 1037 00:56:07,464 --> 00:56:11,594 Love it. I love this room. This is awesome. 1038 00:56:11,735 --> 00:56:13,760 (EXCLAIMING) 1039 00:56:15,472 --> 00:56:16,962 It's beautiful. 1040 00:56:18,174 --> 00:56:20,369 -Thanks, Joe. -You're welcome. 1041 00:56:21,878 --> 00:56:26,645 Look, P, you know the whole "playbook for the house" thing? 1042 00:56:26,750 --> 00:56:29,014 No more buttonhooks in the kitchen. 1043 00:56:29,119 --> 00:56:30,848 Right. No more buttonhooks. 1044 00:56:30,954 --> 00:56:33,616 You see, the quarterback is supposed to know the playbook 1045 00:56:33,723 --> 00:56:35,281 better than anybody. 1046 00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:40,489 But you and I, you've been playing kid your entire life. 1047 00:56:41,297 --> 00:56:44,130 I just joined the dad team, and I'm still learning all these plays. 1048 00:56:44,234 --> 00:56:45,599 No kidding. 1049 00:56:46,536 --> 00:56:48,333 All right. 1050 00:56:48,438 --> 00:56:51,134 Listen, sometimes a quarterback has got to think on his feet 1051 00:56:51,241 --> 00:56:53,801 and call an audible, okay? And... 1052 00:56:55,879 --> 00:56:57,244 Here, this. 1053 00:56:57,347 --> 00:56:59,008 (CLEARS THROAT) 1054 00:56:59,282 --> 00:57:01,113 When the linebackers are creeping up to blitz 1055 00:57:01,217 --> 00:57:02,309 (CHUCKLES) 1056 00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:03,886 and all of a sudden you've got to call an audible 1057 00:57:03,987 --> 00:57:05,921 to change the play, and you go around and you score! 1058 00:57:06,022 --> 00:57:07,114 (EXCLAIMING) 1059 00:57:07,223 --> 00:57:08,656 He scores. 1060 00:57:10,460 --> 00:57:11,427 (SIGHS) 1061 00:57:12,662 --> 00:57:16,120 All right, it's kind of like, just like in life. 1062 00:57:16,833 --> 00:57:19,529 Sometimes things get thrown at you unexpectedly. 1063 00:57:19,769 --> 00:57:21,964 Then you got to call an audible. 1064 00:57:23,006 --> 00:57:25,031 You got to learn on the go. 1065 00:57:26,576 --> 00:57:29,636 -Just like us. Okay? -Okay. 1066 00:57:34,350 --> 00:57:37,285 Number one on the field, and number one in your heart. 1067 00:57:37,387 --> 00:57:40,015 -Now, number one on your toothbrush. -That's funny. 1068 00:57:40,123 --> 00:57:41,988 My teeth are really white. 1069 00:57:43,092 --> 00:57:44,059 Ding! 1070 00:57:44,227 --> 00:57:45,694 That's ridiculous. 1071 00:57:46,162 --> 00:57:48,130 No, that's not. That's awesome. 1072 00:57:51,034 --> 00:57:52,501 (CHATTERING ON TV) 1073 00:57:53,036 --> 00:57:54,833 -Joe? -Yeah? 1074 00:57:56,873 --> 00:58:00,036 What's the best thing that's ever happened to you? 1075 00:58:04,514 --> 00:58:05,640 Well, I... 1076 00:58:05,748 --> 00:58:06,737 (MACHINE BEEPS) 1077 00:58:06,850 --> 00:58:09,444 VOICE ON MACHINE: You have one incoming message. 1078 00:58:09,953 --> 00:58:12,114 Hold that question, all right? 1079 00:58:14,290 --> 00:58:16,724 JOE ON MACHINE: This is the King. Do your thing. 1080 00:58:17,026 --> 00:58:21,520 Hey, baby, it's Tatianna. I'm in Boston. I be there 6:00. 1081 00:58:21,664 --> 00:58:22,756 (BLOWS KISS) 1082 00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:24,897 (CHUCKLING) Tatianna! 1083 00:58:26,135 --> 00:58:29,935 Tatianna's coming at 6:00. I got plenty of time! It's 5:45! 1084 00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:31,805 Who's Tatianna? 1085 00:58:32,041 --> 00:58:33,133 (GROANS) 1086 00:58:33,576 --> 00:58:35,237 I got 15 minutes. 1087 00:58:37,247 --> 00:58:39,715 -Who's Tatianna? -5:45. 5:45. 5:45. 1088 00:58:39,816 --> 00:58:42,717 Listen, she's a friend. I'm gonna need you to clean up all this. 1089 00:58:42,819 --> 00:58:46,721 Take all this, take it down, and... Hide it in your room. 1090 00:58:46,823 --> 00:58:47,881 And you go, too. 1091 00:58:47,991 --> 00:58:50,824 And you play hide-and-seek with that, and just make sure they're all gone. 1092 00:58:50,927 --> 00:58:53,327 (SINGING) 1093 00:58:56,966 --> 00:58:58,524 (HUMMING) 1094 00:58:59,302 --> 00:59:00,291 (SCREAMS) 1095 00:59:00,403 --> 00:59:02,132 PEYTON: Is Tatianna your girlfriend? 1096 00:59:02,939 --> 00:59:04,099 (GROANING) 1097 00:59:04,374 --> 00:59:05,807 Do you mind? 1098 00:59:16,052 --> 00:59:18,714 No, no, no, no, maybe, yes. 1099 00:59:22,625 --> 00:59:27,961 Hi, you must be Melanie. Joe has told me so much about you! 1100 00:59:28,064 --> 00:59:31,830 -I'm Tatianna. What are you? -Peyton. Joe's daughter. 1101 00:59:32,535 --> 00:59:33,593 Joe's daughter? 1102 00:59:33,703 --> 00:59:34,761 Mmm-hmm. 1103 00:59:34,871 --> 00:59:38,136 -How old are you anyway, four? -How old are you, 40? 1104 00:59:38,241 --> 00:59:42,007 -I'm 21. -Are you Joe's long-lost daughter, too? 1105 00:59:42,111 --> 00:59:43,100 Joe! 1106 00:59:43,212 --> 00:59:44,236 (BARKS) 1107 00:59:44,347 --> 00:59:47,510 Bonsoir, Tatianna. Baby, welcome back! 1108 00:59:47,617 --> 00:59:51,109 You look tr�s... Gorgeous! 1109 00:59:51,721 --> 00:59:54,918 -I know. -I see you've already met... 1110 00:59:55,224 --> 00:59:56,851 (STUTTERING) 1111 00:59:57,894 --> 00:59:58,952 Peyton. 1112 00:59:59,062 --> 01:00:02,088 Peyton, yes. I don't know what she's told you. 1113 01:00:02,198 --> 01:00:04,359 'Cause she has such a wild imagination. 1114 01:00:04,467 --> 01:00:07,868 Either way, we have a lot to discuss over dinner. 1115 01:00:07,971 --> 01:00:09,233 Where are we eating? 1116 01:00:09,339 --> 01:00:12,308 You are going to eat over at the Jensens', across the hall.