1 00:00:06,818 --> 00:00:09,154 How did you know there was a guy in there? 2 00:00:09,404 --> 00:00:13,404 There always is. It costs me a fortune in closet doors. 3 00:00:14,868 --> 00:00:17,996 Like in "Slater II - The Sagittarius Strangler". 4 00:00:18,247 --> 00:00:22,247 Soon you will meet the Madigan Strangler. I just got fired. 5 00:00:23,335 --> 00:00:27,335 What you find so entertaining is my life. I am not even a cop anymore. 6 00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:34,133 He only took your badge, because you destroyed more of the city than usual. 7 00:00:35,889 --> 00:00:39,889 Jack, you are everybody's hero. It will all be okay again. Trust me. 8 00:00:42,521 --> 00:00:46,521 No, Danny. It is getting harder. I only wanted to be a decent cop. 9 00:00:50,362 --> 00:00:54,362 But I kept getting involved in crazy adventures. 10 00:00:54,658 --> 00:00:58,453 But the craziest part is, I kept surviving. 11 00:00:58,704 --> 00:01:02,704 These are the sequels. They have to get harder. 12 00:01:05,168 --> 00:01:09,168 Look on the good side. You have a great daughter. 13 00:01:09,506 --> 00:01:13,506 And your ex-wife would not call if she did not want you back. 14 00:01:13,927 --> 00:01:17,927 Do you think she cannot tell the real voice from a taped one? 15 00:01:18,390 --> 00:01:22,390 I pay a cashier to call me at work, so the guys think I have a life. 16 00:01:26,064 --> 00:01:30,064 My ex-wife is happily remarried. She never calls. 17 00:01:31,737 --> 00:01:35,737 And Whitney. Why can she not be a normal teenager? 18 00:01:37,159 --> 00:01:41,159 On prom night she stays home to field strip an AK-47. 19 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:46,080 She will die a young maid. I am going to buy it soon, too. 20 00:01:48,837 --> 00:01:52,837 No way. You cannot die until the grosses go down. 21 00:01:55,052 --> 00:01:59,052 Vivaldi said something would happen at a funeral. 22 00:01:59,348 --> 00:02:02,643 We should look into this funeral. 23 00:02:02,893 --> 00:02:04,520 Whatever. 24 00:02:04,770 --> 00:02:08,770 Jack, it is a funeral for a guy named Fart. 25 00:02:09,107 --> 00:02:10,651 Funeral? 26 00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:14,901 Someone tried to kill Torelli, but hit Leo the Fart instead, right? 27 00:02:17,824 --> 00:02:21,824 Wrong. Did Benedict take the shot? Most likely. Would he miss? No way. 28 00:02:25,749 --> 00:02:29,749 - Unless he wanted to miss. - Did he mean to miss? Why? 29 00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:35,380 Because Leo the Fart was very, very fat. Get it? 30 00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:37,928 No, I do not. 31 00:02:38,178 --> 00:02:42,178 They broke in, cut Leo open and stuffed him with T.N.T. 32 00:02:42,891 --> 00:02:46,891 He goes off at the funeral and takes out the whole Torelli mob. 33 00:02:49,398 --> 00:02:53,398 That is what this is all about. Vivaldi will blow up that funeral. 34 00:02:54,778 --> 00:02:58,778 It would not be a bomb. We have had a dozen explosions in this movie. 35 00:02:59,616 --> 00:03:02,786 Do not start that again. 36 00:03:03,036 --> 00:03:05,455 - Nerve gas! - What are you talking about? 37 00:03:05,706 --> 00:03:09,668 Some nerve gas has been stolen from military trucks. 38 00:03:09,918 --> 00:03:13,918 They could have put it inside him. Do you know what that means? 39 00:03:15,257 --> 00:03:19,257 Leo the Fart will pass gas one more time. 40 00:03:33,317 --> 00:03:34,776 Mr. Torelli. 41 00:03:35,027 --> 00:03:39,027 I hope it is all right I am here. I do not want to be a fourth wheel. 42 00:03:40,574 --> 00:03:44,369 Fifth wheel. 43 00:03:45,746 --> 00:03:49,746 Did you hear that, Benedict? Family. Go pay your respects. 44 00:04:26,703 --> 00:04:29,498 - Stay in the car. - No, I am coming with you. 45 00:04:29,748 --> 00:04:32,042 Let us say this is a movie. 46 00:04:32,292 --> 00:04:36,292 If someone says, "Stay in the car", and the guy does not, what happens? 47 00:04:37,631 --> 00:04:39,758 - He saves the day. - Or gets killed. 48 00:04:40,008 --> 00:04:42,469 Good point. I will stay. 49 00:04:42,719 --> 00:04:46,719 Wait a minute! What if that gets me killed? 50 00:04:47,266 --> 00:04:51,266 There is a gun in the glove compartment. 51 00:04:55,524 --> 00:04:59,444 - Practice! - Makes perfect. 52 00:05:01,363 --> 00:05:05,284 The Fart is a bomb to take out the Torelli mob. 53 00:05:05,534 --> 00:05:09,534 That explains the mortuary break in. Let us use the service entrance. 54 00:05:16,086 --> 00:05:19,840 - Who do you work for, John? - What do you mean? 55 00:05:20,090 --> 00:05:24,090 We both know there is no side entrance to this hotel. 56 00:05:27,347 --> 00:05:31,347 I am sorry, Jack. I did not want it to go down this way. 57 00:05:34,479 --> 00:05:38,479 Danny said not to trust you. He said you killed Moe Zart. 58 00:05:39,902 --> 00:05:43,864 - Moe who? - Zart. 59 00:05:44,406 --> 00:05:47,326 I kill many people. I cannot remember them all. 60 00:05:47,576 --> 00:05:51,371 How do you get to Carnegie Hall? 61 00:05:51,622 --> 00:05:55,334 In a bodybag if you do not drop that. 62 00:05:55,584 --> 00:05:58,086 That is doubtful, kid. 63 00:05:58,337 --> 00:06:02,337 Real doubtful. 64 00:06:04,051 --> 00:06:08,051 Thank you for the fingerprints. You are about to murder Jack Slater. 65 00:06:09,473 --> 00:06:13,473 Chain yourself to that pipe. 66 00:06:13,769 --> 00:06:17,731 These drug guys have more money than the government. 67 00:06:17,981 --> 00:06:21,981 So you cut a deal with a scumbag like Vivaldi. 68 00:06:22,945 --> 00:06:26,945 Vivaldi made up with Torelli, but it was a phoney. He will destroy him. 69 00:06:29,159 --> 00:06:33,159 In exchange for leaving him alone, he gives me a profit percentage. 70 00:06:34,206 --> 00:06:37,000 I will be rich, Jack. You will be dead, but... 71 00:06:37,251 --> 00:06:39,294 Freeze! 72 00:06:39,545 --> 00:06:41,922 Toss me the cuffs. 73 00:06:42,172 --> 00:06:46,172 You idiot. You made the classic movie mistake. Do not explain so much. 74 00:06:47,970 --> 00:06:51,970 You had to get in a last few words. Had you fired, you would have won. 75 00:06:53,642 --> 00:06:57,642 But you are the typical villain. Dumb. 76 00:06:57,938 --> 00:07:01,525 You are no genius yourself, kid. 77 00:07:01,775 --> 00:07:05,775 - The Fart goes off in 7 minutes. - Get my car. 78 00:07:07,447 --> 00:07:11,447 Move it. 79 00:07:12,703 --> 00:07:16,703 I would love to stay and watch, but I have to establish my alibi. 80 00:07:22,671 --> 00:07:25,549 {y:i}Arrivederci. 81 00:07:25,799 --> 00:07:27,676 Did you want to save the day? 82 00:07:27,926 --> 00:07:31,926 - You are not doing anything. - I would steal your thunder. 83 00:07:32,681 --> 00:07:36,681 No, you stay here and make sure everything goes as planned. 84 00:07:38,478 --> 00:07:42,478 You have had Slater in front of the 8-ball before, but you screwed it up. 85 00:07:49,281 --> 00:07:53,243 That is "behind" the 8-ball. You moron. 86 00:07:53,493 --> 00:07:57,493 Somebody once told me I talk too much. No more words. 87 00:08:01,710 --> 00:08:05,710 - Whiskers! Where have you been? - Sorry, Jack. Fur ball problem. 88 00:08:07,341 --> 00:08:11,341 Seal off the area. There will be a chemical explosion in 5 minutes. 89 00:08:11,887 --> 00:08:15,887 - Thanks, Whiskers. I owe you one. - Forget it. You have often saved me. 90 00:08:20,771 --> 00:08:24,771 Do you see the hook of that crane? Get it up on the roof in 2 minutes. 91 00:08:26,401 --> 00:08:30,401 How do I do that? 92 00:08:55,013 --> 00:08:59,013 Help me move that crane! I have to get it to the roof! 93 00:09:01,019 --> 00:09:05,019 Wait! You have to work this thing! 94 00:09:13,949 --> 00:09:17,949 I cannot even drive. 95 00:09:47,983 --> 00:09:51,983 Pardon me. 96 00:10:02,206 --> 00:10:06,206 He was a good man. A flatulent man. 97 00:10:09,421 --> 00:10:13,421 Do you hear this? Help me! Get me out of here! 98 00:10:14,343 --> 00:10:18,343 My God! This man is not dead! 99 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,983 Get out of the way! This man needs a doctor! 100 00:10:30,234 --> 00:10:33,195 - This man needs a doctor! - I am a doctor. 101 00:10:33,445 --> 00:10:37,445 Are you a doctor? Check his chin. 102 00:10:38,742 --> 00:10:42,204 The doctor has fainted. Can somebody help this man? 103 00:10:42,454 --> 00:10:46,454 I will take the corpse... The patient... Look, an elephant! 104 00:10:54,716 --> 00:10:58,716 Do not shoot! He will drop Leo! 105 00:11:20,784 --> 00:11:23,954 Do not shoot! 106 00:12:31,855 --> 00:12:34,900 Oh, shit! 107 00:13:20,821 --> 00:13:24,821 That is a no-fly zone, fellow. 108 00:14:10,329 --> 00:14:14,329 Danny! He is ticking! Move the crane as fast as you can! 109 00:14:38,565 --> 00:14:42,565 Danny, stop the crane now! 110 00:14:43,862 --> 00:14:47,862 Drop! Go, go, go! 111 00:14:51,912 --> 00:14:55,912 Drop, you gas bag! 112 00:15:16,103 --> 00:15:20,103 Everybody out of here! 113 00:15:59,104 --> 00:16:03,025 Silent but deadly. 114 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:09,110 - Bring the car around. - The helicopter landed on it. 115 00:16:11,116 --> 00:16:13,243 I hate when that happens. 116 00:16:13,493 --> 00:16:17,493 Tar actually sticks to some people. 117 00:16:26,798 --> 00:16:30,798 Hey, Dad! I thought you could use some clothes. 118 00:16:31,178 --> 00:16:32,554 Thank you, honey. 119 00:16:32,804 --> 00:16:36,804 - Is this not a little convenient? - You always said this was a movie. 120 00:16:45,108 --> 00:16:48,737 {y:i}So how did it go? 121 00:16:49,947 --> 00:16:53,659 {y:i}How did it go? 122 00:16:55,285 --> 00:16:59,285 {y:i}I am dying out here. {y:i}I want to know how it went. 123 00:17:07,464 --> 00:17:10,425 {y:i}How did it went? 124 00:17:10,676 --> 00:17:12,553 Splendid. 125 00:17:12,803 --> 00:17:15,347 {y:i}What? 126 00:17:15,597 --> 00:17:17,724 It went splendidly. 127 00:17:17,975 --> 00:17:21,975 I cannot hear you. I do not want to miss a thing. 128 00:17:24,982 --> 00:17:28,485 Benedict, get your stuff. Was it beautiful? 129 00:17:28,735 --> 00:17:30,946 Perfect in every detail. 130 00:17:31,196 --> 00:17:34,157 Were the gas tanks okay? 131 00:17:34,408 --> 00:17:37,786 Like clockwork. You should have been there. 132 00:17:38,036 --> 00:17:42,036 Men, women and children dropping left and right. 133 00:17:42,916 --> 00:17:46,916 Wait, I want to enjoy it all. Come on, tell me. 134 00:17:48,463 --> 00:17:52,463 They were writhing and screaming and leaping to their doom to escape. 135 00:17:53,927 --> 00:17:56,722 - Really? - No, I am lying. 136 00:17:56,972 --> 00:18:00,972 It was a complete balls-up, and my day has been terrible thanks to you. 137 00:18:03,645 --> 00:18:07,645 What is this? You were my friend and now you turn a 360 on me. 138 00:18:11,028 --> 00:18:15,028 180, you stupid spaghetti-slurping cretin. 139 00:18:16,491 --> 00:18:20,491 If I did a 360, I would end up back where I started! 140 00:18:23,957 --> 00:18:27,211 Trust me. 141 00:18:28,712 --> 00:18:32,712 If that turd Daniel Madigan can move through parallel worlds, so can I. 142 00:18:35,052 --> 00:18:39,052 In, steal whatever I want, and out again. Impossible to catch. 143 00:18:43,602 --> 00:18:47,231 If God was a villain - 144 00:18:47,481 --> 00:18:50,817 - he would be me. 145 00:18:51,068 --> 00:18:55,068 - You want me to vacuum now? - No. But the pool needs attention. 146 00:18:58,158 --> 00:19:01,453 Very good. 147 00:19:14,383 --> 00:19:18,383 Do not move. 148 00:19:19,221 --> 00:19:23,221 - All right, I will go quietly. - The hell you will. 149 00:19:31,191 --> 00:19:34,778 That was for blowing up my cousin Frank's house. 150 00:19:35,028 --> 00:19:39,028 And this is for blowing up my ex-wife's house. 151 00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:45,201 But this is for my daughter's black eye! 152 00:19:49,209 --> 00:19:53,209 Usually when I do that, it leaves a hole. 153 00:19:53,463 --> 00:19:57,463 The ticket. Jack, he has got the ticket! 154 00:19:58,886 --> 00:20:02,886 It is the key to everything. It is magic. See? 155 00:20:04,016 --> 00:20:08,016 He has gone over to my world. The door must still be open. Come on! 156 00:20:11,607 --> 00:20:15,194 I am not worried that you are crazy anymore. 157 00:20:15,444 --> 00:20:19,444 I am worried that you are right. But if I go, how do I get back? 158 00:20:21,867 --> 00:20:25,867 You cannot go through life nit-picking everything. Come on! 159 00:20:32,002 --> 00:20:35,756 To hell with it. 160 00:20:39,968 --> 00:20:43,968 There was nothing to it. 161 00:20:44,431 --> 00:20:48,431 - We are still here. - Are you sure? Look. 162 00:20:53,023 --> 00:20:55,984 Quickly! 163 00:20:56,944 --> 00:21:00,944 - I want to see about Nick. - No time. 164 00:21:03,116 --> 00:21:04,868 What the hell? 165 00:21:05,118 --> 00:21:08,497 - We are in New York. - It all makes sense. 166 00:21:08,747 --> 00:21:12,417 Actually, it makes no sense, but I will explain. Later. 167 00:21:12,668 --> 00:21:16,668 Just be careful. Things are different here. 168 00:21:19,132 --> 00:21:20,509 Get out! 169 00:21:20,759 --> 00:21:24,721 Do not get feisty. The car was a piece of junk anyway. 170 00:21:24,972 --> 00:21:28,600 Drive, bonehead! 171 00:21:29,601 --> 00:21:33,601 Here is another explosion for your movie. 172 00:21:38,944 --> 00:21:42,698 Not one word. 173 00:21:52,291 --> 00:21:56,003 - My hand hurts. - Things are different here. 174 00:21:56,253 --> 00:21:59,214 Smash a window with your hand and it gets hurt. 175 00:21:59,464 --> 00:22:03,464 Great. Could you not have told me earlier? 176 00:22:06,722 --> 00:22:10,722 - The taxis must be bulletproof. - We have to get the ticket. 177 00:22:30,621 --> 00:22:34,621 No way, Slater. Listen to me. It will not work. 178 00:22:35,334 --> 00:22:38,128 You cannot play chicken in real life. You will crash. 179 00:22:38,378 --> 00:22:40,506 Out of the car, amigo. 180 00:22:40,756 --> 00:22:44,218 This is not the movies. You have to reload guns... 181 00:22:44,468 --> 00:22:48,468 - Go, Danny! Get out! - Car crashes can kill you! 182 00:22:48,722 --> 00:22:52,722 You are going to die! Jack!! 183 00:22:54,561 --> 00:22:58,232 What did I do? 184 00:23:03,654 --> 00:23:07,449 No, please... 185 00:23:16,250 --> 00:23:18,085 Damn, that hurt. 186 00:23:18,335 --> 00:23:21,255 You are lucky to be alive, you dumb idiot! 187 00:23:21,505 --> 00:23:25,505 '89 Mercury Sable, standard air bag. Checker cab, no air bag. Who is dumb? 188 00:23:29,888 --> 00:23:33,888 - Just make sure they are dead. - Give me a break. They are dead. 189 00:23:36,270 --> 00:23:39,773 They always look dead. In "Die Hard" a guy is hung - 190 00:23:40,023 --> 00:23:44,023 - and at the end of the movie, he comes back. 191 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:49,320 All right. Make sure to cover me. He may have a windshield wiper. 192 00:23:56,582 --> 00:24:00,582 Maybe he used the ticket. 193 00:24:01,670 --> 00:24:05,670 Maybe it is on all the time now. 194 00:24:18,687 --> 00:24:21,648 What is this place? 195 00:24:21,899 --> 00:24:25,899 Where am I now? 196 00:24:26,737 --> 00:24:30,737 Danny, do you have a place I can sit down? 197 00:24:32,326 --> 00:24:36,326 Yes. Come on. 198 00:24:37,164 --> 00:24:39,208 Nick! 199 00:24:39,458 --> 00:24:43,458 Danny, I was so worried. Are you okay? 200 00:24:43,754 --> 00:24:45,839 Did you see what happened? 201 00:24:46,089 --> 00:24:50,089 No, I slept in here until I woke up at 2 a.m. I figured you had gone home. 202 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,265 No, I was in the movie! 203 00:24:55,516 --> 00:24:59,516 I am getting up in the years. Define "in". 204 00:24:59,895 --> 00:25:03,895 Whitney kissed me! I drove a crane and dropped Leo the Fart in a tar pit! 205 00:25:05,776 --> 00:25:09,776 I was with Jack Slater every step of the way! 206 00:25:13,367 --> 00:25:16,662 Oh, my God... 207 00:25:17,329 --> 00:25:20,457 The ticket works? 208 00:25:20,707 --> 00:25:24,707 All this time I never used it, because I was too frightened. 209 00:25:28,715 --> 00:25:32,715 But it is not too late. I can still go visit. 210 00:25:33,345 --> 00:25:37,345 Garbo in "Camille". Jean Harlow. Boy, I had a crush. 211 00:25:40,811 --> 00:25:44,811 Monroe in "Bus Stop". 212 00:25:45,232 --> 00:25:49,232 Forgive me for going on, sir. I admire your work greatly, too. 213 00:25:51,363 --> 00:25:55,363 - Nick, it is not who you think. - You mean, it is...? 214 00:25:57,703 --> 00:26:01,206 This is a wonderful moment, Mr. Slater. 215 00:26:01,456 --> 00:26:05,456 I have never met a fictional character before. 216 00:26:06,295 --> 00:26:10,295 How new and exciting this must all be for you. 217 00:26:10,591 --> 00:26:13,969 I have just found out I am imaginary. 218 00:26:14,219 --> 00:26:17,347 How would you like to have been made up? 219 00:26:17,598 --> 00:26:21,598 Your job, your marriage, your kids. Let us push his son off the building. 220 00:26:25,689 --> 00:26:29,689 You will have eternal nightmares, but you are fictional, so who cares? 221 00:26:31,236 --> 00:26:35,236 I do not find it new and exciting that my whole life is a damn movie. 222 00:26:37,659 --> 00:26:41,659 You are young and impressionable. There are worse things than movies. 223 00:26:43,665 --> 00:26:47,665 Politicians, wars, forest fires. Famine, plague. 224 00:26:50,047 --> 00:26:54,047 - Sickness, pain, warts, politicians. - You have already mentioned them. 225 00:26:55,177 --> 00:26:59,177 I know. They are twice as bad as anything else. 226 00:26:59,973 --> 00:27:03,973 Most of my life has been movies, too. But that is all over for me now. 227 00:27:06,563 --> 00:27:10,563 The theatre is shut. Soon it is the wrecking ball. 228 00:27:11,151 --> 00:27:15,151 But now I have a new chance. Can I have the ticket back? 229 00:27:17,241 --> 00:27:21,241 We have one little... hiccup. 230 00:27:22,538 --> 00:27:26,538 - What do you mean? - Benedict has the ticket. 231 00:27:27,918 --> 00:27:31,918 The madman with the glass eye? 232 00:27:34,216 --> 00:27:38,053 - How are you getting back? - Good question. 233 00:27:38,303 --> 00:27:42,303 But I would not want to nit-pick, right, Danny? 234 00:27:45,936 --> 00:27:49,936 Just follow my lead. 235 00:27:53,151 --> 00:27:57,072 Where have you been? Do you know what time it is? 236 00:27:57,322 --> 00:28:00,492 The police call, you are nowhere to be found... 237 00:28:00,742 --> 00:28:04,742 - Mom, I am sorry, okay? - "Okay"? 238 00:28:05,664 --> 00:28:09,664 There are kids with guns everywhere and that is all you have to say? 239 00:28:11,670 --> 00:28:15,670 - Get in here! - Mom, wait. 240 00:28:15,924 --> 00:28:19,924 You always say you wish I had more friends. Well... 241 00:28:27,811 --> 00:28:31,811 Hello, Mrs. Madigan. Arnold Braunschweiger. 242 00:28:53,295 --> 00:28:57,295 Sweetheart, do you want to have a party? 243 00:29:00,010 --> 00:29:04,010 - How old are you? - Forget it. 244 00:29:13,690 --> 00:29:17,690 Take his shoes, man! 245 00:29:23,075 --> 00:29:27,075 Take his shoes? 246 00:29:49,685 --> 00:29:53,685 No screams. 247 00:29:54,731 --> 00:29:58,731 No sirens. 248 00:30:01,697 --> 00:30:04,658 Excuse me! 249 00:30:04,908 --> 00:30:08,495 Excuse me. 250 00:30:08,745 --> 00:30:12,745 I am sorry to bother you. Would you help me test a theory? 251 00:30:13,959 --> 00:30:17,959 - Sure. What can I do for you? - Well... 252 00:30:37,274 --> 00:30:41,274 Hello? I have just shot somebody. I did it on purpose. 253 00:30:48,869 --> 00:30:52,869 I said, I have murdered a man and I want to confess. 254 00:30:55,167 --> 00:30:59,167 {y:i}Shut up down there! 255 00:31:12,768 --> 00:31:16,768 You look uncannily like him, only you are much more intelligent. 256 00:31:21,443 --> 00:31:25,443 Good morning, good afternoon. What kind of eggs do you want? 257 00:31:26,198 --> 00:31:29,576 Scrambled. Have you guys been up all night? 258 00:31:29,827 --> 00:31:31,787 Why did you not tell me Jack was a cop - 259 00:31:32,037 --> 00:31:36,037 - and that you spent the night looking at mug shots? 260 00:31:37,918 --> 00:31:40,212 Why did you not tell me you had no friends? 261 00:31:40,462 --> 00:31:44,462 And why do you go to the movies at night and make your mother worried? 262 00:31:49,596 --> 00:31:53,596 - You have turned him into a wimp. - I think not. Toast? 263 00:31:57,563 --> 00:32:01,563 No thanks. Jack, are you okay? 264 00:32:05,028 --> 00:32:09,028 We talked. I have never just talked to a woman before. It is neat. 265 00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,288 Neat? 266 00:32:14,538 --> 00:32:18,538 Wimp. Next they will be talking about sex. 267 00:32:19,418 --> 00:32:22,880 Me and Jack are going out. I am helping him on a case. 268 00:32:23,130 --> 00:32:27,130 Oh, no. Your licence to kill has expired. Come and eat some eggs. 269 00:32:31,013 --> 00:32:35,013 I have to help. I am the only witness. Like in that Harrison Ford movie. 270 00:32:37,728 --> 00:32:40,314 There is no comparison. 271 00:32:40,564 --> 00:32:43,817 - We are not Jewish. - Amish. 272 00:32:44,067 --> 00:32:47,571 Irene, do not worry. 273 00:32:47,821 --> 00:32:51,821 There are 8 million in the city and I am good at catching people. 274 00:32:52,993 --> 00:32:56,993 And the future of the world may be at stake... 275 00:32:59,500 --> 00:33:03,500 Can you turn this up? 276 00:33:06,215 --> 00:33:09,259 - What is that? - Mozart. 277 00:33:09,510 --> 00:33:13,510 - The guy Practice killed? - That is right, Jack. 278 00:33:16,099 --> 00:33:20,099 Do you like classical music? 279 00:33:20,812 --> 00:33:24,812 I do not know. I think I will. 280 00:33:35,202 --> 00:33:39,202 - Did you say who you really were? - Yes. A cop from L.A. 281 00:33:39,623 --> 00:33:43,623 - I mean really. - Real enough. For now. 282 00:33:46,463 --> 00:33:50,463 - Are you going to catch him? - I always catch everybody. 283 00:33:51,134 --> 00:33:53,804 By spotting him from up here? 284 00:33:54,054 --> 00:33:58,054 Give me a break. It is the first time I have been anyplace real. 285 00:34:00,352 --> 00:34:04,352 This ticket, it worked in one movie. Could Benedict use it again? 286 00:34:08,318 --> 00:34:12,318 On other movies? Why would he do that? 287 00:34:13,157 --> 00:34:17,157 I do not know. But it is a start. 288 00:34:18,620 --> 00:34:22,620 The possibilities are limitless. But I have realised - 289 00:34:24,334 --> 00:34:28,334 - that freedom would elude me until Jack Slater was, - 290 00:34:28,881 --> 00:34:32,176 - forgive the pun, taken out of the picture. 291 00:34:32,426 --> 00:34:36,426 And I thought you might be inclined to help. 292 00:34:39,266 --> 00:34:43,266 This must all be strange to you. But if you do this right, - 293 00:34:45,022 --> 00:34:49,022 - the world is your oyster. Trust me. 294 00:34:50,319 --> 00:34:54,319 You will be free to do whatever you want beyond your wildest dreams. 295 00:34:58,285 --> 00:35:02,285 And you will never have to go back to this film again. 296 00:35:05,709 --> 00:35:07,836 You have never heard of this man, - 297 00:35:08,086 --> 00:35:12,086 - but his actual name is Arnold Schwarzenegger. 298 00:35:14,468 --> 00:35:18,468 There are a thousand theatres and we have looked for 5 hours. 299 00:35:19,848 --> 00:35:23,352 - We are close to catching him. - No, to catching pneumonia. 300 00:35:23,602 --> 00:35:27,602 In my world they just leave clues. Or they show up and kidnap me. 301 00:35:28,982 --> 00:35:32,982 That stuff does not happen here, because this world stinks! 302 00:35:34,071 --> 00:35:38,071 The world is what you make of it. You can give up and go home. 303 00:35:39,952 --> 00:35:43,952 - You believed in me in the movies. - But here you are just... 304 00:35:48,001 --> 00:35:52,001 Just what? 305 00:36:09,439 --> 00:36:13,439 Jack, there he is! 306 00:36:36,508 --> 00:36:39,386 Are you nuts?! 307 00:36:40,012 --> 00:36:42,681 - You crazy asshole! - He is just a cabbie! 308 00:36:42,931 --> 00:36:46,931 In the movies they say "Make my day" or "I am your worst nightmare". 309 00:36:47,644 --> 00:36:51,644 "Rubber-baby-buggy-bumpers". You did not know I would say that! 310 00:36:53,692 --> 00:36:57,692 - Where did he go? - He was reading a paper. 311 00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:04,240 - He has been going to the movies. - That is not the half of it. 312 00:37:08,665 --> 00:37:12,044 {y:i}We are live from New York. 313 00:37:12,294 --> 00:37:16,294 {y:i}We are moments away from {y:i}the premiere of "Jack Slater IV". 314 00:37:17,799 --> 00:37:21,261 {y:i}And here is the man {y:i}they have come to see. 315 00:37:21,512 --> 00:37:25,512 {y:i}It is Arnold Schwarzenegger {y:i}and his wife, Maria Shriver. 316 00:37:28,727 --> 00:37:31,396 - Good to see you. - Are you a big fan of Slater? 317 00:37:31,647 --> 00:37:35,647 I have enjoyed it. It was just beautiful. 318 00:37:36,151 --> 00:37:40,151 The National Enquirer. Do not talk to them. 319 00:37:44,159 --> 00:37:48,159 Do not plug the restaurants. I hate that. It is so tacky. 320 00:37:49,832 --> 00:37:52,209 - Why go to the movies? - To get help. 321 00:37:52,459 --> 00:37:56,004 Benedict can do anything. But we know who he is. 322 00:37:56,255 --> 00:37:58,966 - So he must take us out. - He cannot get to you. 323 00:37:59,216 --> 00:38:03,216 He does not have to. All he has to do is get to him. 324 00:38:03,762 --> 00:38:07,762 - Benedict will kill Schwarzenegger. - Who is Slater. 325 00:38:08,725 --> 00:38:11,353 Bingo! 326 00:38:11,603 --> 00:38:15,603 In this movie we only kill 48 people. In the last one we killed 119. 327 00:38:18,652 --> 00:38:22,652 But we make up for it with a good story, emotions, depth, dimensions. 328 00:38:25,409 --> 00:38:29,409 {y:i}There are thousands here tonight {y:i}and millions around the world. 329 00:38:30,164 --> 00:38:34,164 - I directed and produced it. - This guy is a success story. 330 00:38:35,460 --> 00:38:37,963 - Only in America. - Only in Hollywood. 331 00:38:38,213 --> 00:38:42,213 And at Planet Hollywood we have some incredible memorabilia. 332 00:38:42,676 --> 00:38:46,388 It is absolutely fabulous... 333 00:38:46,638 --> 00:38:50,638 You embarrassed me. How could you do that? 334 00:38:51,894 --> 00:38:55,894 Chris, it is the Ripper from "Jack Slater III". Scary. 335 00:38:56,815 --> 00:39:00,815 - Let us "axe" him a question. - Look at this method villain. 336 00:39:01,612 --> 00:39:05,612 Rip, what brings you here? 337 00:39:07,075 --> 00:39:11,075 - I thought I might kill someone. - You should start with your designer. 338 00:39:12,539 --> 00:39:16,539 {y:i}Nobody wants to miss out. {y:i}The notables just keep coming. 339 00:39:18,045 --> 00:39:22,045 Excuse me, sir. Could I see your invitation? 340 00:39:23,008 --> 00:39:27,008 Pete, it is okay. I am his agent. Jesus Christ, Tom. Come here. 341 00:39:28,388 --> 00:39:32,388 It is Tom Noonan, the actor who played the Ripper. 342 00:39:35,437 --> 00:39:38,482 Are you nuts? Do you want to play axe killers for ever? 343 00:39:38,732 --> 00:39:42,732 I need the manager's office for 10 minutes. Here is 50 bucks. 344 00:39:43,987 --> 00:39:46,865 What do you think Slater says about America? 345 00:39:47,115 --> 00:39:50,828 I do not want to hear it. I am not a big fan of Arnold. 346 00:39:51,078 --> 00:39:55,078 She is. Arnold turns her on. I just want to be there when it happens. 347 00:39:57,709 --> 00:40:01,709 Good, you have the props, too. Whip out a Hibachi - 348 00:40:02,381 --> 00:40:06,381 - and we can make some shish-kebab. I will rent you a tuxedo. 349 00:40:07,928 --> 00:40:11,928 Tell him it is me. 350 00:40:12,474 --> 00:40:16,474 Did Nicholson go to the premiere of "Batman" dressed as the Joker? No. 351 00:40:17,855 --> 00:40:21,855 Murray, get me your brother-in-law. Yes, it is important. 352 00:40:34,288 --> 00:40:38,288 - What do you think about this? - I would never miss the premiere. 353 00:40:39,835 --> 00:40:43,835 Where am I sitting? Where? Where am "I" sitting? 354 00:40:44,423 --> 00:40:48,423 There are two balconies. I believe you are in the lower one. 355 00:40:50,512 --> 00:40:54,512 You stay here. And be careful. 356 00:41:04,026 --> 00:41:08,026 Someone should be checking the other balcony. Definitely. 357 00:41:19,291 --> 00:41:23,291 Arnold! The deal is done, right? "Slater V". The soundtrack. 358 00:42:08,215 --> 00:42:10,175 I will be... 359 00:42:10,425 --> 00:42:14,425 {y:i}Jack, it is the Ripper! {y:i}He has brought back the Ripper! 360 00:42:17,641 --> 00:42:21,641 {y:i}Benedict has brought back {y:i}the Ripper! 361 00:42:23,313 --> 00:42:26,733 Everybody down! 362 00:42:31,655 --> 00:42:34,241 Get off me! 363 00:42:41,081 --> 00:42:44,084 Get the hell off me. 364 00:42:45,294 --> 00:42:48,380 I should be informed when there is to be a stunt. 365 00:42:48,630 --> 00:42:52,630 You are the best look-alike I have seen. 366 00:43:06,273 --> 00:43:10,273 If you get to L.A., call my office. We can get you jobs... 367 00:43:11,153 --> 00:43:15,115 I do not like you. You have only brought me pain. 368 00:43:15,365 --> 00:43:19,161 {y:i}Jack, help! 369 00:43:19,995 --> 00:43:23,995 Did anyone come out of here? 370 00:43:25,501 --> 00:43:29,501 Did you see a crazy guy with an axe? 371 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:45,600 Hey, Jack. What kept you? 372 00:43:48,273 --> 00:43:52,273 - Are you all right, Danny? - Yes, sir. 373 00:43:56,365 --> 00:43:59,243 I tried to change, Jack. 374 00:43:59,493 --> 00:44:03,493 I really tried to do what he told me to, but - 375 00:44:04,373 --> 00:44:08,373 - I kept hearing that old music. I knew you would come here, Jack. 376 00:44:11,797 --> 00:44:15,797 Lose the piece. 377 00:44:18,387 --> 00:44:22,387 There. It is between you and me. So let the boy go. 378 00:44:23,976 --> 00:44:27,976 We have played this number before. What comes next? 379 00:44:29,064 --> 00:44:33,064 You throw the gun away... We have done that part. 380 00:44:35,028 --> 00:44:39,028 And then you tell me to let the kid go. 381 00:44:40,659 --> 00:44:44,659 I am getting bored. Let us skip to the end. 382 00:44:56,216 --> 00:45:00,216 Come on, Jack! Over here, right here! 383 00:45:30,292 --> 00:45:34,292 I will be back! 384 00:45:42,012 --> 00:45:46,012 The hell you will. 385 00:45:48,060 --> 00:45:51,355 {y:i}Jack! 386 00:45:51,563 --> 00:45:55,150 Danny? 387 00:45:56,819 --> 00:46:00,819 Danny, I will be right there! I am coming! Hang on! 388 00:46:05,410 --> 00:46:09,331 Just hang on now. 389 00:46:10,249 --> 00:46:14,249 - Jack, help! - I will be right there! 390 00:46:16,255 --> 00:46:20,255 - I am coming! - Just hurry! 391 00:46:21,009 --> 00:46:25,009 Hold on, Danny! And do not look down! 392 00:46:26,306 --> 00:46:30,018 Oh, God, please do not let him die. 393 00:46:30,269 --> 00:46:34,269 Listen, kid. You grab my hand and we get out of here. 394 00:46:36,358 --> 00:46:40,358 - I cannot, Jack. I will fall. - Come on, now. 395 00:46:41,405 --> 00:46:45,200 - Trust me. - I cannot do it. 396 00:46:45,450 --> 00:46:49,450 Listen to me. Hold on with your legs and let your hands go. 397 00:46:52,249 --> 00:46:56,249 I will catch you. Believe in me. I will catch you. Get my hand. 398 00:46:59,965 --> 00:47:03,965 Go for it, Danny! 399 00:47:23,614 --> 00:47:27,614 This hero stuff has its limits. 400 00:47:34,082 --> 00:47:38,082 I need a hospital. My shoulder is out of the socket. 401 00:47:38,754 --> 00:47:42,174 Will a morgue suffice? 402 00:47:42,424 --> 00:47:45,594 Get down, Danny! 403 00:47:49,014 --> 00:47:53,014 Give it up, Benedict. The lobby is swarming with cops. 404 00:47:53,685 --> 00:47:57,685 I think I can avoid them. But if not, I have a little - 405 00:47:59,066 --> 00:48:03,066 - explosive surprise for them. 406 00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:09,239 Since you are about to die, I will tell you the plot. Think of villains. 407 00:48:13,705 --> 00:48:17,705 Do you want Dracula? Hang on. 408 00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:21,960 I will fetch him. Dracula? I can get King Kong. 409 00:48:24,132 --> 00:48:28,132 A nightmare with Freddy Krueger. A party for Adolf Hitler. 410 00:48:29,304 --> 00:48:33,304 Hannibal Lecter can do the catering. And a christening for Rosemary's Baby. 411 00:48:37,771 --> 00:48:41,771 If I snap my fingers, they will come. They are lining up. Do you know why? 412 00:48:47,573 --> 00:48:51,573 Because in this world the bad guys can win! I shall miss you, Jack. 413 00:49:04,089 --> 00:49:08,089 Did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the gun. 414 00:49:10,470 --> 00:49:14,470 No, Jack. I just left one chamber empty. 415 00:49:31,492 --> 00:49:35,492 You broke my arm! 416 00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:42,040 Do you see, Jack? Bad guys can win. 417 00:50:02,606 --> 00:50:05,025 Now! 418 00:50:05,275 --> 00:50:08,987 No sequel for you. 419 00:50:14,785 --> 00:50:18,247 The ticket. 420 00:51:08,255 --> 00:51:12,255 Take him home. To where this is just a flesh wound. 421 00:51:16,054 --> 00:51:20,054 Do you not understand? We must get him back to the movies. 422 00:51:22,144 --> 00:51:26,144 I said: Turn around! 423 00:51:29,943 --> 00:51:33,943 Great! They always run away! Hang on, Jack. 424 00:51:37,034 --> 00:51:41,034 - Danny, do you know how to drive? - Sure. I have watched you, right? 425 00:52:20,369 --> 00:52:23,872 Get out of the way! 426 00:52:33,173 --> 00:52:37,173 Nick, fire up the projector! Slater is dying! 427 00:52:37,928 --> 00:52:41,928 - Do you have the ticket? - No, but it has to work anyway! 428 00:52:56,071 --> 00:53:00,071 Hold on, Jack. You will make it. This is going to work. 429 00:53:00,492 --> 00:53:04,204 It has to be here. 430 00:53:09,126 --> 00:53:13,126 Please. Nick, hurry! The door will not open. 431 00:53:13,422 --> 00:53:17,422 No sweat, kid. You tried. 432 00:53:35,277 --> 00:53:39,239 Where are you going? Back off! You cannot have him. 433 00:53:39,490 --> 00:53:43,490 I have had it with you, Mister. Who stays, who goes. This one stays! 434 00:53:52,586 --> 00:53:56,586 I was only curious. He is not on any of my lists. 435 00:53:59,718 --> 00:54:03,718 Though you are, Daniel. 436 00:54:04,890 --> 00:54:08,890 - Now? - Oh, no. You die a grandfather. 437 00:54:17,945 --> 00:54:21,945 Wait a minute! Help us. I know you can get him back. 438 00:54:25,911 --> 00:54:29,911 I do not do fiction. It is not my field. Sorry. 439 00:54:35,170 --> 00:54:38,465 You are a very brave young man. 440 00:54:38,715 --> 00:54:42,715 Unfortunately, you are not very bright. If I were you - 441 00:54:49,142 --> 00:54:53,142 - I would look for the other half of the ticket. 442 00:55:01,905 --> 00:55:05,905 They are all gold. 443 00:55:10,873 --> 00:55:14,873 I have got it, Jack! I will get you home. 444 00:55:16,253 --> 00:55:18,630 You cannot die. 445 00:55:18,881 --> 00:55:22,881 I know. Until the grosses go down. 446 00:55:23,510 --> 00:55:27,510 No! This will save us! 447 00:55:28,473 --> 00:55:32,473 Throw that silly thing away. 448 00:55:34,563 --> 00:55:37,649 Holy cow! 449 00:55:59,254 --> 00:56:03,254 Let us hear it for Houdini! 450 00:56:06,220 --> 00:56:10,220 Slater!!! 451 00:56:11,058 --> 00:56:15,058 Has anybody seen Slater? I want him in my office right now! 452 00:56:34,998 --> 00:56:37,584 Help! Somebody! 453 00:56:37,835 --> 00:56:41,835 They got Jack! Doctor, move! 454 00:56:44,341 --> 00:56:48,341 Take this. Get back before it changes its mind. 455 00:56:48,637 --> 00:56:51,515 No way. I will not leave you. 456 00:56:51,765 --> 00:56:55,765 I am an imaginary hero, Danny. You have a real life. 457 00:56:56,562 --> 00:57:00,562 You are real to me. You are the best. I need you... 458 00:57:05,279 --> 00:57:09,279 Here where you can always find me. But I need you there to believe in me. 459 00:57:12,327 --> 00:57:14,830 To take care of your mother. 460 00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:19,080 I would love to... You have your whole life ahead of you. 461 00:57:21,086 --> 00:57:25,086 And pimples and premature ejaculation. 462 00:57:28,927 --> 00:57:32,681 - What? - It is just... 463 00:57:32,931 --> 00:57:36,931 I am scared that I will never see you again. 464 00:57:38,020 --> 00:57:42,020 Whoever thinks that would be making a big mistake. 465 00:57:51,450 --> 00:57:54,495 Get out of the way. Do you want a doctor? 466 00:57:54,745 --> 00:57:57,998 Get out of the way. I am a doctor. 467 00:57:58,248 --> 00:58:01,668 What happened? 468 00:58:08,509 --> 00:58:12,509 Is this a joke? This is not even a flesh wound. 469 00:58:32,533 --> 00:58:33,575 Where the hell have you been? 470 00:58:33,826 --> 00:58:36,787 Where the hell have you been? 471 00:58:36,829 --> 00:58:39,164 It is working again. 472 00:58:39,414 --> 00:58:42,584 That door is coming out of your meagre paycheck! 473 00:58:42,835 --> 00:58:46,835 I have the Eagle Foundation doing a tango up my Hershey Highway! 474 00:58:47,381 --> 00:58:51,381 I do not care about your highway. And stop shouting. I am not deaf! 475 00:58:54,179 --> 00:58:58,179 You shout because it is in the script. You are the comic relief. 476 00:58:59,268 --> 00:59:03,268 And do you know what? I am the hero. So shut up!! 477 00:59:08,235 --> 00:59:10,863 Hollywood writes our lives. 478 00:59:11,113 --> 00:59:15,113 {y:i}I do not want to shoot people {y:i}and blow up buildings anymore. 479 00:59:16,326 --> 00:59:20,326 You did get to be a magician, Nick. It really does work. 480 00:59:22,416 --> 00:59:26,416 The ticket is yours, Danny. And do you know what? 481 00:59:27,629 --> 00:59:31,629 I think the magic was yours, too. Come on. 482 00:59:33,468 --> 00:59:37,468 Have I told you about the time my dad took me to see Buffalo Bill? 483 00:59:38,599 --> 00:59:42,599 We met Sitting Bull, who was his medicine man.