1 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,879 # Now once upon a time They sang the vo-dee-o-doe 2 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:23,913 # But that was long ago 3 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,476 # Then everybody started in To boop-boop-a-doop 4 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:30,672 # They got tired of that, you know 5 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,873 # But the tune for you and me... 6 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,316 Very unnecessary. 7 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,590 # ls that swinging symphony 8 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:49,920 # They called it inka dinka dee A dinka doo a dinka dee 9 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:54,438 # Oh, what a tune for croonin' 10 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:59,756 # lnka dinka dee a dinka doo a dinka dee 11 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:04,192 # lt's got the whole world swoonin' 12 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,198 # Eskimo belles up in... 13 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,797 Let me hear those trumpets. 14 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,151 That's not a trumpet. 15 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,079 That's not a trumpet. 16 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,513 That's a trumpet. 17 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:25,952 # lnka dinka dee a dinka doo a dinka dee 18 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,118 # Simply means a dinka dee a dinka doo 19 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,873 # lnka dinka a dee a dinka doo 20 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,435 Let me hear my symphony! 21 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,033 What a band! 22 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:44,870 # lnka dinka dinks A dinka dinks a dinka dee 23 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:49,039 # lt's got the whole world swoonin'... 24 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,871 I'm waIkin' down the street... 25 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,230 I'm waIkin' down the street... 26 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:03,471 [high-pitched eIongated notes] 27 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:08,035 TeII me, Mr James, now, just what did you accompIish? 28 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:14,873 # lnka dinka dee a dinka doo a dinka dee... 29 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,277 # Eee... 30 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:23,270 That note was given to me by Bing Crosby. And was he gIad to get rid of it! 31 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,597 # lnka dinka dee a dinka doo # 32 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:02,953 Boys. Time to get up. Come on. 33 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,715 It's Saturday. We've got to get going. 34 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:10,230 - Where are we going? - We're going to see my uncIe Joe. 35 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,795 What? I don't want to go to UncIe Joe's! 36 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,878 - Come here! - I don't wanna go! 37 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,072 No, I want to watch my cartoons! It's Saturday! 38 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,510 You can't make us! We don't wanna go! 39 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,712 - Stop it! - No, we don't wanna go! 40 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:30,552 We'II be good! We'II eat anything. We'II cIean our room. But no UncIe Joe. 41 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,557 We don't have time for this. 42 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,593 - Leave us aIone! - You wouIdn't hurt Daddy. 43 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,314 - It's earIy, CarI. - I want to get there first. 44 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:47,719 Whoever gets there first taIks about you untiI there's no point you even being there. 45 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,195 Try to bring up Tina's drinking. 46 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,960 - She's your cousin. - You're more subtIe. 47 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,153 [buzzer] 48 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,555 CarI and Nora McTeague. 49 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,436 WeIcome to heII. 50 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,591 - Are we first, DougIas? - Indeed, sir. 51 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,475 No one eIse had the presence of mind to be three hours earIy. 52 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:51,392 - May I take your bird, madam? - No, we'II give it to him ourseIves. 53 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,830 Care to wait in the drawing-room? 54 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:58,556 - There was another car out front. Who...? - Dr HemmeI is with your uncIe. 55 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,159 Anything wrong? 56 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:04,239 Your uncIe was coughing most of the night, sir. 57 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,193 What kind of cough? Was it dry or Iiquidy? 58 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:11,678 It was just a cough, sir. Next time I'II save you a sampIe. 59 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,556 [pIopping sound] 60 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,191 He'II reaIIy Iike the bird. 61 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,757 - It cost us $400, CarI. - You have to spend money to make money. 62 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:32,270 - Oh, my heavens! - YoIanda, what's wrong? 63 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,799 He's dead! 64 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:40,269 One minute the doctor was examining him and he say he was fine, and then... 65 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,438 - He's dead. - Come quickIy! 66 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,198 Yes! 67 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,516 - [boy] Are we rich? - [CarI] Maybe. 68 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,190 Oh, my God. 69 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,960 [YoIanda waiIs] 70 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,628 YoIanda, go cIean something. 71 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,957 Stop that! 72 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,678 It's Dr HemmeI! 73 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,235 Of course it's Dr HemmeI. 74 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:23,195 He used to brag how he got up at 5am to pIay racket-baII at 7 1 years oId. 75 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,675 You don't hear him bragging now. 76 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,711 [UncIe Joe chuckIes] 77 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,388 Truth be known, we are so reIieved. 78 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,239 When YoIanda came in screaming, we thought... 79 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,831 WeII, aII I can say is we're gIad you're stiII with us, UncIe Joe. 80 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:42,875 - You Iook thriIIed. - We are. EspeciaIIy the boys. Joe and Joe. 81 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:47,517 Look, another IittIe Joe in the oven. Here's a doctor's note to prove it. 82 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,837 - You Iook nice, Nora. - Thanks, UncIe Joe. So do you. 83 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:54,555 - Why don't we just cut the cabIe? - It's too thick. Come on. 84 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:57,354 Did you hear that? He said you Iook nice. 85 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,348 - I think that's a good sign. - I don't know what to think. 86 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,154 CarI, I want a girI, honey. 87 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:08,512 AII right. I swear, after he's dead we'II have a girI, I promise. OK? 88 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,875 UncIe Joe? Wanted to teII you about something. 89 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,548 You shouId see how Big Joe...our Big Joe, 90 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,672 what a head for business he has at nine years oId. 91 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,917 He organised a Iawn-mowing company with fourth-graders. 92 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:33,477 He's preparing himseIf in case he has to take over a big business some day. 93 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,636 So you're interested in money, huh? 94 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,308 Uh-huh. Made ten bucks just coming here. 95 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,915 I get another 20 if I kiss you. 96 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,674 I'm thinking about it. 97 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,196 AII right. 98 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,319 That's it. 99 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:08,036 - What happened? Is he...? - Coronary. He died instantIy. 100 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,869 - ReaIIy? You mean just...? - And he Ieft everything to you, sis. 101 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,674 - ReaIIy? - It wasn't him. It was Dr HemmeI. 102 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,233 You son of a bitch. 103 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:20,877 - You wish it was the oId man, don't you? - I did. Now I wish it was you. 104 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:25,232 - How are your girIs, Ed? - Yes, we have girIs. You know why? 105 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:31,390 We wouIdn't put Ed's sperm in a centrifuge to separate the X's from the Y's! 106 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,512 Brother, no matter how much UncIe Joe is worth, 107 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,871 there is a Iine beIow which we wiII not go. 108 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,038 JoIene, Joette? Let's go in, girIs. 109 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,434 - We saw an ambuIance! - Dr HemmeI died. 110 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,676 Ah. 111 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:54,952 [makes fIatuIence sounds] 112 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,995 Dennis, why don't you go and sit at the kids' tabIe? 113 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,679 Make me. 114 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:25,349 - Are you retarded? - Not according to the tests. 115 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,755 You just sit here and shut up. 116 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,234 [starts again] 117 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,316 - YoIanda! - It's aII over the pIace! 118 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:37,035 He has a coId, UncIe Joe. He didn't want you to get sick. 119 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,470 Ed, your girIs knocked over some miIk. 120 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:43,355 WeII, UncIe Joe, I guess you'II have to find a new doctor. 121 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:48,111 What for? Doctors, medicine. Who needs 'em, huh? 122 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:51,551 You know who you shouId taIk to about this? GIen. 123 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,320 This man keeps in shape. It's discipIine. 124 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:58,069 I exercise for a coupIe of weeks, that's it. I admire you. 125 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,233 WeII, you know... 126 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,000 CouId you fit aII your exercise equipment into your new apartment? 127 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,270 Frank! 128 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,875 - What new apartment? - GIen and MurieI are separa... 129 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,230 That was a secret. I feeI horribIe. 130 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,796 - I couId cut out my tongue. - Here's a knife. 131 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,310 - No, reaIIy, I'm... - You spIit up? 132 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,476 No. 133 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:27,910 - No! - No! 134 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,157 - Then why...? - It's... 135 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:41,312 You know I'm starting that new business? WeII, it takes a Iot of time and energy, 136 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:46,150 and when I'm with J... MurieI, I just... 137 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:51,150 I am so crazy about her that aII I can think about is... 138 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,917 - You know. - Yeah. 139 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:03,752 So I thought I'd move out for a whiIe and I'd be abIe to get some work done. 140 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,155 [fIatuIence sounds] 141 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:11,995 It's nobody's business what you two do. You have no kids. You're both barren. 142 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:17,513 Frank, I aImost forgot to ask you. How is Tina's hit-and-run case coming? 143 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,751 - Hit-and-run case? - Yeah. 144 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,350 When Tina got drunk and pIoughed into that schooI bus? 145 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:27,393 PIoughed? She just scraped paint off it. 146 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,751 The brakes faiIed. Everyone was fine. The kids, the nuns. 147 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:36,114 I just thank God she wasn't in one of those IittIe sports cars Iike your girIfriend's. 148 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,754 - They're death-traps. - What? 149 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,679 His girIfriend drives a ChrysIer. Big bIue one. 150 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,633 She's not my girIfriend! 151 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,754 She's an instructor at the gym. I met... 152 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:54,397 I Ieft my gym bag at the gym and she was bringing it back to me. 153 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:01,756 I guess you have time to notice these things now that you're not working. 154 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,793 What happened? 155 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,672 - Nothing. - Nothing. 156 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,599 There was a IittIe cutback at Ed's pIace. 157 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,598 They Iet go of some of the empIoyees that were... 158 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,076 SeIIing company secrets. Pass the butter, pIease. 159 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,192 That's a Iie and I'II prove it in court! 160 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,198 - This Friday, right? - We got a continuance. 161 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,631 The court dockets were too fiIIed with drunk-driving cases. 162 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,831 I skidded on a wet spot! 163 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,077 - Somebody get her a drink. - Get her a barreI. 164 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,431 PIease. Why must this happen every time we get together? 165 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,598 Can't this man have peace? Hasn't he earned it? 166 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,918 DeIivering newspapers at four years oId, his IittIe toes frozen. 167 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,999 - It's aII right. - No. We've Iost our sense of vaIues. 168 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:50,478 Maybe it's not mine to say, but Nora and I... Come up here, sweetie... 169 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:54,878 and Joseph and Jonas and IittIe Josiah on the way...we Iead a simpIe Iife. 170 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,958 We have each other, and what the heck eIse is there? 171 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,435 Joe-Joe, I'm just going to the market. 172 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:01,629 Oh! 173 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,400 MoIIy! Come here. 174 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:11,310 These are my nieces and nephews. Everyone, this is MoIIy. 175 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,954 - Hi! - Hi. 176 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,590 - You wanted to see me? - WouId you buy some Oreos? 177 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,679 We wouIdn't be out of Oreos if somebody hadn't eaten the insides 178 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,792 and tossed the rest away, you naughty boy. 179 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,833 I'm oId and rich. I'II eat whatever parts I want. 180 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:33,033 - If I want to eat the goddamn box, I wiII. - Who wound you up today? 181 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,312 - Better give me some money, then. - Here. 182 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:41,749 Take an extra hundred. You might see something you want. 183 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:45,032 You are such a dear. 184 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,037 - I'II see you Iater. - Bye. 185 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,196 ToodIes! 186 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,673 These are good meIons. Yeah. 187 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,798 Sweet, juicy. 188 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,353 - UncIe Joe? - Mm? 189 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,232 - Who...? - Mm? 190 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:20,831 - Who...? - Oh, that's MoIIy. She's Iiving here. 191 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,316 Housekeeper? Secretary? 192 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:28,274 WeII, not exactIy. She's sort of...my nurse. 193 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:32,951 - Nurse? - Yeah. I decided I wanted a nurse. 194 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,112 Someone to ease my suffering. 195 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:40,992 An agency sent her? 196 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,351 No, she deIivered a pizza one night and we got to taIking. 197 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:50,351 Turns out she'd Iike to be a nurse, so... Yeah, she heIps out in various ways. 198 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:56,399 She's become very speciaI to me. 199 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,752 [cheering] 200 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,435 Yeah! 201 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,556 [inaudibIe] 202 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,830 Thank you, Fred. HeIIo, everyone. I'm Chris SchenkeI. 203 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,239 Thank you. Thank you very much. 204 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,396 On behaIf of the Pro BowIers Tour, 205 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,036 we'd Iike to thank the peopIe of MiIwaukee for their support. 206 00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,869 The top five quaIifiers tomorrow wiII begin pIay at 2.30. 207 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,559 Shit. 208 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,070 [femaIe] You do this every time! You ruin every vacation. 209 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:10,909 - [maIe] Shut up! - [femaIe] It's aIways ''Let's drive a IittIe further.'' 210 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:14,715 [femaIe] Then there's no pIace to stay and we wind up in a shithoIe! 211 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,718 This is...this is unbeIievabIe. 212 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,876 Everywhere I stay, I'm next to this coupIe. 213 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,433 [crockery smashes] 214 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,200 Not IiteraIIy them, but peopIe just Iike them. 215 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,312 - It's Iike a franchise. - [maIe] You made my Iife heII! 216 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,557 - [femaIe] Kiss my ass! - [maIe] That wouId take aII night! 217 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,716 [door sIams] 218 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,596 Oh, God. 219 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,396 You know, this is reaIIy stupid. 220 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,309 ABC gives me a suite at the Marriott and we're at the Bates MoteI. 221 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,794 Let's get out of here. 222 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,356 Honey, you know I get embarrassed at your hoteI. 223 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:54,076 Everyone aIways says, ''How's a schIep Iike McTeague afford the Marriott?'' 224 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,477 ''He sIeeps with Robin Hunter, the teIecast producer.'' 225 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:01,559 ''ReaIIy? He must screw better than he bowIs.'' 226 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,035 I do, don't I? 227 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:08,669 I can't take it, Robin. I can't do it any more. 228 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,950 What? 229 00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:14,918 - I'm giving up bowIing. - Why? 230 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:20,478 My wrist. It's a pre-arthritic condition and it's not going to get better. 231 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:24,673 - You saw a doctor? - No, AI the janitor at the bowIing aIIey. 232 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,758 He seemed to know his stuff and took me right away. 233 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,474 Of course I saw a doctor! 234 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:34,599 I don't know. Cincinnati's the Iast tournament of the season. 235 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,997 I'm just going to bowI there and...that's it. 236 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,151 Sweetheart. 237 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,392 I'm sorry. 238 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:55,116 I just wish for once I couId've finished in the top five, 239 00:17:56,160 --> 00:18:00,073 gotten on the nationaI teIecast just once. 240 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,236 That wouId have been nice. 241 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:08,031 - What are you going to do? - WeII... 242 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:12,552 some guys offered to make me a partner in this new bowIing centre. 243 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,833 They offered me 25% interest for a 1 0% investment, 'cause I'd run it. 244 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,439 It's a good deaI. 245 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,871 - It's great. - OnIy I don't have the cash. 246 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,514 - They want 300,000. - Phew! 247 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,235 So then I thought maybe I'd be happy teaching. 248 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,714 Yeah? 249 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:36,029 OnIy, then you'd aIways make more money than me. 250 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,118 Who cares about that crap? If you're happy teaching, 251 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:43,632 then that makes me happy. That's it. That's aII there is. 252 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:51,715 Her name is MoIIy Richardson. She's 24 years oId. She's EngIish. 253 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:55,708 She came here two years ago as a nanny for a coupIe named HoIcomb. 254 00:18:55,920 --> 00:19:00,710 When Mrs HoIcomb eventuaIIy fired her, Mr HoIcomb attempted to kiII himseIf. 255 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,194 God. 256 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:06,188 She bounced from job to job: bikini modeI, physicaI therapist... 257 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,392 - We're dead. - ..untiI she started deIivering pizzas. 258 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,874 It pays to have skiIIs. 259 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:16,029 She moved in with Joe about three weeks ago and she's been there ever since. 260 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,639 As a nurse? 261 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,912 She seems to spend most of her time swimming. 262 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,270 - In the nude. Here are some pictures. - What? 263 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,079 - Whoa. - Oh, my God. 264 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,716 - Are they having sex? - Grow up. What do you think? 265 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,070 She's going to get everything. 266 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:41,268 That's the way these oId guys are. Biggest son of a bitch ever: 267 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,189 she touches his oId noodIe and his brains turn to frozen yoghurt. 268 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:46,674 You wouId know. 269 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,997 She'II screw him six feet under and get everything. 270 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:54,113 That's our money, and no EngIish bitch is gonna screw us out of it. 271 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,914 Are they sIeeping together? Is there proof? 272 00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:01,272 - I need more time. - They're humping too quick for pictures? 273 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,677 - Let's get a better detective. - How do we know you're any good? 274 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,997 She found out you were fired and that GIen Ieft MurieI. 275 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,875 My guy knew about Tina whiIe the car was stiII spinning. 276 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,756 Yeah? Look at these pictures she got of GIen and that gym instructor. 277 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,394 Yeah. 278 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,349 That's not me. 279 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,552 It Iooks Iike you and that's aII that matters. 280 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:30,072 - Use your gun! - GIen, cut it out! Come here. Stop it. 281 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,795 Stop it! Don't you see what's happening here? 282 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,877 Yeah, you're out of Scotch. 283 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,719 Oh, Tina, go Iie down. 284 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:43,436 We caused this. AII the backbiting and the greed and the detectives. 285 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:47,792 We've made each other Iook fiIthy. Now it's come home to roost. 286 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,514 Not one of us has the credibiIity 287 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,076 to convince UncIe Joe that this girI is just after his money. 288 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:58,319 It's not our fauIt! It's his. Sweet oId UncIe Joe. 289 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,796 We were aII decent peopIe tiII he got his hooks into us. 290 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,197 Except for Frank. Frank was aIways a son of a bitch. 291 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:09,996 It's true. UncIe Joe does this to us. He puIIs our strings and makes us dance. 292 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,599 He's the deviI. 293 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,429 Every time you draw a Iine in the dirt and say, ''No farther,'' 294 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,871 he draws one an inch farther and you say, ''Why not?'' 295 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,036 ''I've come this far aIready.'' 296 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,357 Then you Iook back and can't even see where you started. 297 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:28,189 Why don't we aII stop here? Let this bimbo have his money. 298 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,868 Isn't our seIf-respect worth more than any inheritance? 299 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,035 No. 300 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:38,030 Ed, we're just peopIe. Nobody couId waIk away from that much money. 301 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:39,878 DanieI did. 302 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,234 Who's DanieI? 303 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,510 - Our cousin. - What happened to him? 304 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:50,794 He caIIed UncIe Joe a mean, greedy, crueI, grasping, eviI, manipuIative oId man. 305 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,436 - We aII did. - But DanieI said it to his face. 306 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:56,879 Grapes. 307 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,832 - What? - They were having grapes. 308 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:02,555 DanieI started screaming about oppressed migrant workers. 309 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:06,435 Joe said the workers couId go screw themseIves in Macy's window 310 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,835 and DanieI Iet him have it. 311 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,476 I'II never forget it. Remember the Iook on the oId man's face? 312 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,830 He died a IittIe that night. 313 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:21,115 DanieI went away. He just went away. Took his wife and son and... 314 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,595 Man, did we hate his son. 315 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:27,509 - How come? - He was so cute, you know? 316 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,280 You wanted to smash his IittIe face in. 317 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,074 - Where is he now? - In BraziI or somewhere, 318 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,510 saving the rainforest or shit Iike that. 319 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:40,077 His wife died a few years ago, and young DanieI's some kind of athIete. 320 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:44,319 - A bowIer, I think. - CouId we find him? 321 00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:48,430 [crowd cheering] 322 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:52,599 Excuse me. 323 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,954 Wayne, come here. What's happening? 324 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,879 I've never seen him Iike this. He's in the zone. 325 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,038 - Where does he stand? What's...? - Right now, fifth. 326 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,994 - You mean he couId be on TV tomorrow? - Looks that way. 327 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,997 - Yeah. - I am on fire! 328 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,679 - You're fifth. - I know! 329 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,235 If I teII you something, wiII you be nervous? 330 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,112 - No way. I'm in the zone. - OK. 331 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,790 I can turn the teIecast into an enormous break for you. 332 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,595 I can buiId a whoIe show around you. ''CindereIIa Man''. 333 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,836 Even if you Iose the first match. 334 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:47,715 Chris wiII interview you, you'II be funny, charming... 335 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:51,071 Next year you couId be wearing an ABC bIazer. 336 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:52,838 Ooh, I got a chubby. 337 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,998 You've got to finish no worse than fifth. 338 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,839 I'm in the zone. I'm up. 339 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,156 [girI in crowd] Come on, Danny! 340 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,232 Ha! 341 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,196 [crowd goes wiId] 342 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,396 Yes! 343 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,837 [crowd] Oh! 344 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,838 - [man] Come on! - [man] What's he doing? 345 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:59,510 - Danny. - It's nothing. I just Iost my Iine a IittIe. 346 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:04,714 - PetragIia just finished with a 289. - What? So? 347 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,515 So you're stiII OK. You're stiII fifth, but it's cIose. 348 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,118 - AII right. So what do I need? - OK, Iast frame. 349 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,471 - You need a mark and a three count. - Strike or a spare? 350 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:22,798 - And a three count. - OK, I got it. I got it. It's OK. 351 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,636 Get 'em, Danny. 352 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,078 He seem nervous to you? 353 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,875 You couIdn't puII a pin out of his ass with a tractor. 354 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,915 [crowd] Oh! 355 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,594 When they Iose this Iong, they don't know how to win. 356 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,750 Come on, Danny! 357 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:07,992 [hushed crowd] 358 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,077 Yeah! 359 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:32,675 [man in crowd] Damn, baby! That's what I'm taIking about! AII right. 360 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,038 AII right. Just three more pins. 361 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:41,719 - Yeah. I'II be... - Danny. 362 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,639 I'II be right back. Then we'II ceIebrate. 363 00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:50,395 Urgh! 364 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,318 [crowd gasps] 365 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,152 Oh, my God! 366 00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:01,876 [Danny] Aw! 367 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,355 FeeIing better? 368 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:23,717 - I'm going out to get some more Iiquor. - I don't think that's a good idea. 369 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,480 ReaIIy? I think it's a great idea. 370 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:31,549 - You're in your underwear! - So now I can't go out in my underwear? 371 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,478 - Danny... - What? 372 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:38,913 Just because I'm a miserabIe faiIure, you think you can teII me what to do? 373 00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:42,271 Let me teII you, Miss High-Powered Network Big Shot 374 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,155 Don't I Look Hot In My ABC BIazer, I am stiII a man! 375 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:50,956 And if I want to go out in my underwear, I am going out in my underwear! 376 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,676 If I want to go out with no underwear, I'm going out with no underwear. 377 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,757 - You got that? - Go ahead. 378 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,873 OK, I guess we know who's boss, huh? 379 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,992 - You need a doctor. - Why don't you just say it? 380 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:15,636 - Say what? - You know. ''Danny, you bIew it.'' 381 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:21,551 ''You choked. You had it and you Iost it! You just never had the guts to win!'' 382 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,876 - What a shitty thing to say! - I didn't say it. 383 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,117 - You're thinking it. - WeII, yeah, I'm thinking it! 384 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:42,235 You hit a car. You couId have kiIIed somebody. 385 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,510 The way I bowI? 386 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,595 You know, 387 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,997 I never regretted a moment untiI tonight. 388 00:28:55,360 --> 00:29:01,595 AII those years of Iosing...this was the first time I've feIt Iike a Ioser. 389 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,109 Come here. 390 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:07,833 Come on. 391 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,918 OK. 392 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,956 Great. Now I'm impotent. 393 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:28,119 - We just kissed for two seconds. - UsuaIIy we're showering by now. 394 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:29,833 [knock] 395 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:31,996 That's probabIy the manager. 396 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,792 Who are you? 397 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,834 - DanieI McTeague? - No shit. That's my name, too. 398 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,112 No. I'm Laura Dinsmore. I'm a private detective. 399 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:49,233 You're a detective? Great. HeIp me find my pants. 400 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,559 - Mr McTeague. - Just a minute. 401 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,799 Do you have any where she's Ieaning over a saddIe Iooking coy? 402 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,640 Is your father stiII in BraziI? 403 00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,875 - Dad? - Yeah. 404 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:14,150 No, that was years ago. 405 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:20,276 He's been in Ethiopia, ChiIe, Uruguay. He was with the Kurds for a whiIe. 406 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,790 Wherever there's injustice, you can find my dad. 407 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:29,996 You see, you two have never met him. He's a great man, but he... 408 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:35,399 When I was a kid, he gave away my toys to the poorer kids. 409 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,751 Not just the broken toys, I mean the good toys. 410 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,713 Then he'd want me to be happy about it. 411 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:50,758 The famiIy was thinking, if your dad wouId try to make up with Joe... 412 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:54,157 Look, my dad hated these peopIe. 413 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:58,399 He said they worshipped money above aII things, especiaIIy UncIe Joe. 414 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,955 - They're just... - Why don't you go back? 415 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:05,676 If you couId heIp, you'd share in the inheritance, whichever reIative got it. 416 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:09,668 Oh, pIease. What, I'm going to become Iike them? 417 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,314 Kiss up to my uncIe and wait for him to die? 418 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:16,559 No, I'd rather the naked Limey chick got the money. Sorry. 419 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:20,355 No. It's nice to meet an honest man. 420 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,710 EspeciaIIy in your famiIy. 421 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,474 Oh. Sorry about your car. 422 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:35,515 That's aII right, it's a rentaI. If you change your mind, give me a caII. 423 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,910 - Night. - Goodnight. 424 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:47,630 - You coming inside? - He taught me how to bowI. 425 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,796 Who did? 426 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,230 - UncIe Joe. - ReaIIy? 427 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,789 What do you think, honey? ShouId I go back there? 428 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:03,516 - WeII, I mean, if you hate him anyway... - No, I don't hate him. 429 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:08,510 No, my dad hated him. I was just a kid. He was reaIIy nice to me. 430 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,956 WeII... 431 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,834 Who am I kidding? 432 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:21,113 I was thinking of going back to see my uncIe because I... 433 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,790 I thought he might Ioan me money for that bowIing aIIey. 434 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,594 PeopIe borrow money from reIatives aII the time. 435 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,712 - But my famiIy... - You know you're a decent person. 436 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:35,391 Just decide what you want to do and don't beat yourseIf up over it. OK? 437 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:40,469 Maybe my reIatives have changed. Maybe they're not so ridicuIous any more. 438 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:44,195 # Happy birthday to you 439 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:48,029 # Happy birthday to you 440 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:53,235 # Happy birthday, Uncle Joe 441 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:58,275 # Happy birthday to you # 442 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:03,870 - Happy birthday, sir. - BIow 'em out... 443 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,516 Presents! I Iike presents, especiaIIy from peopIe who Iove me. 444 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,551 And who wouId that be? 445 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,752 We've got something very speciaI for you. 446 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,668 - I said cut the crap! - Come on. 447 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:19,793 - I can see your panties! - Stop it. Right now. Come on. 448 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,877 - Get off! - CooI it! 449 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:26,949 - Why don't you Iisten to me? Shithead. - Stop it. Both of you. 450 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,232 A movie? I haven't Iiked a movie since De MiIIe died. 451 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,318 - You'II Iike this one. - Yeah? 452 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:38,719 - ShouId the kids Ieave the room? - No, no. I'II get the Iights. 453 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,559 - Leave it aIone! - WouId you stop it? 454 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,751 Come on, guys, sit down. 455 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,748 - See, I toId you. - Shut up! 456 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,956 Tell me more. Tell me about what's happening in Asia. 457 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:07,995 Remember this party? You hired those peopIe to come in and fiIm it? 458 00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:14,758 We shouldn't have advisers there. We'll get into a full Asian land war. 459 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:20,432 You're such a beatnik, Daniel. Sandals and white socks, that's you. 460 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,835 The French, they knew when to get out. 461 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:26,157 Hitler swapped them a bottle of wine for their country. 462 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,750 They took it. They... Why are you filming this? 463 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,428 l'm not paying you to film this. You... 464 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,949 Where's my special boy? 465 00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:38,357 - Where's Uncle Joe's special boy? - Here l am, Uncle Joe. 466 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,519 Carl, get in touch with reality. Where's Little Danny? 467 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,916 Where's my special little boy? 468 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:47,473 l'm right here. 469 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,477 There you are. 470 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:53,912 Here, film this. This is why l hired you. You gonna do Durante? 471 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:57,078 - Yeah. - Good boy. Come on. 472 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:06,279 [as Durante] # lnka dinka doo A dinka dee a dinka doo 473 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:11,076 # Oh, what a tune for croonin' 474 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:17,273 # lnka dinka doo a dinka dee a dinka doo 475 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:21,871 # lt's got the whole world...swoonin' 476 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:25,718 # Eskimo belles up in... 477 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,798 [ as Durante] Stop the musicl Stop the music. 478 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:34,074 Folks, l want to welcome you to my Great-Uncle Joe's 50th birthday party. 479 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,475 Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha 480 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:38,716 Remember, Uncle Joe... 481 00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:41,753 # Start off each day with a song 482 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,072 # Even when things go wrong 483 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:48,750 # You'll feel better, you'll even look better 484 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,758 # l'm here to tell you you got to be go-getter 485 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,554 # 'Cause you know that you can't go wrong 486 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:58,514 # When you start off each day with a song # 487 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:00,953 - Yeah. - Yeahl 488 00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:08,071 Good boy. 489 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,593 UncIe Joe, 490 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,836 here's our present. 491 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,278 - Who the heII is this? - It's Danny. 492 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,756 Danny Junior. We found him for you for your birthday. 493 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:32,640 - Danny? - UncIe Joe. Happy birthday. 494 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:35,158 LittIe Danny! 495 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:38,636 Hug him. Go hug him. 496 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,311 Stop the music, huh? 497 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,432 - Hey! - Hey. 498 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,915 What a present! 499 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,198 - Is your...? - What? 500 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,597 - Are you aIone? - Oh, yeah. 501 00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,675 Yeah. 502 00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:03,270 WeII, Iet's go break the pinata. 503 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,829 You can do it! Come on, get him! Hit the pig! 504 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,554 DougIas Iooks the same as he did 25 years ago. 505 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,432 This is his son. 506 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,950 - Come on, DougIas! You can do it! - [UncIe Joe] Keep going. 507 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,795 So your cousins brought you here, huh? 508 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,195 Yeah, it was their idea. 509 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:30,473 I wonder what made them suddenIy decide to do that. 510 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,356 Don't know, huh? 511 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:38,518 - I couIdn't... - They teII you about MoIIy? 512 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:41,870 Yeah. 513 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:46,596 - Yeah, they did. - [MoIIy] Come on, you can do better than that. 514 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,114 She's your new nurse, right? 515 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:56,916 She's more than a nurse. She's a...companion. 516 00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:01,955 - What do you think about that? - Hey. You worked hard. You're entitIed. 517 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,913 What do you reaIIy think? 518 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:11,992 I think it's ridicuIous. I mean, I'm watching you, you can bareIy wear your hat. 519 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:16,476 DougIas, stop pIaying around and fetch me a beer. 520 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:18,750 My pIeasure, sir. 521 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,950 What are you two taIking about? 522 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:27,280 I was teIIing Danny about MoIIy. How important she's become to me. 523 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:33,075 I've been thinking that she's the person in the worId who's become cIosest to me. 524 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:38,877 The person I'd most Iike to see have some happiness, some good fortune. 525 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:46,873 But seeing LittIe DanieI again has made me think about...famiIy. 526 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:52,234 After aII is said and done, maybe famiIy comes first, mm? 527 00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:56,752 MoIIy! What do you think? Does famiIy come first? 528 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,599 I suppose it depends on the famiIy, reaIIy. 529 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,074 How wise. 530 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,714 How deep, how pithy. 531 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:09,839 FamiIy, friends...who can choose? 532 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,276 - Know what I'd Iike? - [aII] What? 533 00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,040 I'd Iike Danny to do Jimmy Durante for me. 534 00:39:17,240 --> 00:39:20,038 - Yes! - Yeah, come on! 535 00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:23,391 - That wouId be just so happy-making. - Yeah. 536 00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,114 No. 537 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,198 Jesus! This is pathetic. 538 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:33,712 - Shut up and do Durante. - You do Durante! This is demented. 539 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:39,711 This wasn't such a good present after aII. MoIIy, honey. Let's go inside. 540 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,912 Your famiIy's here. They aII want to be with you. 541 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,714 But I'd rather just be with you. 542 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:50,191 AII right, then. First Iet me get some sweeties. 543 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,869 - Danny, are you married? - No. 544 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:57,356 - GirIfriend? - Yeah, I have a girIfriend. 545 00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:01,314 Bring her around tomorrow. Two o'cIock. We'II go swimming. 546 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,670 Swimming. Great. 547 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,994 I feeI Iike a goddamn tea bag. 548 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,516 Sorry, sir. 549 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,753 - Let me ask you, Robin. - Yes, sir. 550 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:39,794 - Do you ever produce basketbaII games? - I wiII, next season. 551 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,752 You know what I hate? 552 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,713 When the camera's on the stands on some moron 553 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:48,469 and his face is painted bIue and white, and I miss a basket. 554 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,511 - So do I. - Danny. And you? 555 00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:54,190 You going to bowI the rest of your Iife? Hit the senior tours? 556 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:58,279 ActuaIIy, I've given up bowIing. I have this injury. 557 00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,153 Oh, yeah, it's a rough sport. 558 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:10,275 I was going to go back to coIIege. You know, get a teaching degree. 559 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:13,836 You'II never make the same money as Robin. 560 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:20,671 We've decided that that's not important. 561 00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:22,279 Right. 562 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:25,996 - DougIas! - Yes, sir? 563 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,314 Much obIiged, sir. May I change now, sir? 564 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,115 - Go dance the huIIy-guIIy for aII I care. - Thank you, sir. 565 00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:41,110 Yeah, I know, teaching's a wondertuI thing. Very nobIe. 566 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,153 BowIing ten years, that Ieads to nothing? 567 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,670 - You just throw those ten years away? - WeII, I... 568 00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,192 What? 569 00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:01,872 I have this opportunity to invest in a bowIing centre. It's an exceIIent deaI. 570 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:06,232 - But I'm... - Short of money. 571 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:07,509 Yeah. 572 00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:10,314 - How much? - It's $300,000. 573 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:16,279 [whistIes Durante tune] 574 00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:21,314 Danny, come in the pooI. 575 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,752 Ah... Just... 576 00:42:34,240 --> 00:42:36,196 Ph! Pah! 577 00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,113 - Is this saIt water? - Yeah. HeIps me fIoat. 578 00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:45,552 This beIt's not enough. I can't use my Iegs. 579 00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:48,638 TeII you what, I'II wrestIe you for the money. 580 00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:51,115 - What? - I'II wrestIe you. 581 00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:55,438 If you win, I'II give you $300,000. If I win, you owe me nothing. 582 00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:57,437 [nervous Iaugh] 583 00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:02,469 Show that girIfriend of yours what you're made of. 584 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,956 Yeah, definiteIy. I'm gonna beat up an eIderIy crippIed man 585 00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,515 and she's gonna say, ''What a catch!'' 586 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,195 - Can your feet touch? - No. 587 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,152 Good. 588 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,033 [cries out] 589 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,351 - Danny? - Come on, bowIer! 590 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:26,752 - HeIp me! Oh, man! - Joe-Joe, that's enough. Let him up. 591 00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:36,039 HeIp! 592 00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:39,516 [UncIe Joe screams then Danny joins in] 593 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:48,877 - I win the first round. Two out of three. - No! 594 00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,036 You heard him. He quit. 595 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:57,548 Where is he? 596 00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,433 - You OK? - Get me out, honey. 597 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,319 Jesus! You got the grip of a bear! 598 00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,080 40 years of Iifting scrap metaI. 599 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,192 And I Iike to win. 600 00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,595 Yeah, weII. 601 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:16,589 I'II give you the money. 602 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,271 300,000. It's yours. 603 00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:27,193 - You mean Iike a Ioan? - No, no, no. It's yours. A gift. 604 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:31,318 You're different from the others. You're better. 605 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,796 And for aII the times you made me Iaugh. 606 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,673 # lnka dinka dinka dinka dink # 607 00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:40,348 UncIe Joe, this is... I don't... 608 00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:44,235 - StiII see your father? - What? Oh, yeah, sure. 609 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,830 I baiI him out of jaiI, we make a day of it. 610 00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:50,759 - Strange man. - WeII, yeah, strange, sure. 611 00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:53,599 But with principIes he beIieves in. 612 00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:56,473 I want you to caII him from here. 613 00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:58,193 - ReaIIy? - Yeah. 614 00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:03,155 That's reaIIy great. Because it's been too many years, and it's siIIy... 615 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:07,069 TeII him you came to me for money and I'm giving it to you. 616 00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,919 You reaIise he was wrong and I was right. 617 00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:12,998 And you need what I've got more than what he's got. 618 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,350 TeII him and I'II give you the money. 619 00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:26,310 Robin, we're Ieaving. 620 00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:38,434 You know there's something sicker about you than your Iegs? 621 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,837 How about you, MoIIy? Wanna wrestIe?