1 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,129 It was a day like no other. 2 00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:41,510 It was a day I had always dreamed of. 3 00:00:42,434 --> 00:00:44,592 A day I would never forget. 4 00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:50,763 Will you marry this woman and take her to your heart, 5 00:00:50,859 --> 00:00:53,695 forever devoted and forever young? 6 00:00:53,779 --> 00:00:55,439 I will. 7 00:00:55,531 --> 00:01:00,110 And will you marry this man and take him to your heart, 8 00:01:00,203 --> 00:01:02,694 forever devoted and forever young? 9 00:01:02,789 --> 00:01:04,746 I will. 10 00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:07,953 Would you now place the ring on her finger? 11 00:01:11,173 --> 00:01:12,833 I now declare... 12 00:01:16,220 --> 00:01:19,137 What a shame we had uninvited guests. 13 00:01:22,018 --> 00:01:25,102 I'll have what I came for this day! 14 00:01:27,607 --> 00:01:29,481 Jack politely asked him to leave. 15 00:01:29,818 --> 00:01:31,691 Kiss steel, bastard! 16 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:46,667 Jack! 17 00:02:03,729 --> 00:02:05,805 Hold tight! I'm coming! 18 00:02:09,777 --> 00:02:12,813 His temper flared, but he fought like a gentleman. 19 00:02:36,180 --> 00:02:40,677 My one true love had fought bravely, but it wasn't enough. 20 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,649 There was only room for one more. 21 00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:57,315 It was either my love or myself. 22 00:02:57,411 --> 00:03:01,789 - You take it, my love. - Never! Those maggots will not have you. 23 00:03:01,958 --> 00:03:04,579 They will not have me for long. 24 00:03:04,669 --> 00:03:07,955 I have consumption and will be dead before the year is out. 25 00:03:08,047 --> 00:03:12,176 You were gonna marry me with consumption? Why didn't you tell me? 26 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,419 I didn't want to spoil things. 27 00:03:14,513 --> 00:03:15,793 - Go. - No! 28 00:03:15,889 --> 00:03:18,178 Live to fight another day. 29 00:03:22,062 --> 00:03:24,139 Whatever makes you happy. 30 00:03:29,821 --> 00:03:33,154 With Jack, my happiness always came first. 31 00:03:34,951 --> 00:03:36,825 I faced my fate alone. 32 00:03:36,995 --> 00:03:40,032 The 10 turned to 20, the 20 to 40. 33 00:03:40,123 --> 00:03:43,327 Could this be the end of my freedom, my salvation, my... 34 00:03:43,419 --> 00:03:46,124 Hey, gorgeous! 35 00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:49,211 Hiya, Joanie! 36 00:04:02,939 --> 00:04:05,016 What happened? 37 00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:40,300 "Was this the end of my freedom, my salvation?" 38 00:04:42,774 --> 00:04:44,850 My career? 39 00:05:57,812 --> 00:06:00,054 Gorgeous day. Huh, gorgeous? 40 00:06:00,148 --> 00:06:02,556 We got blue skies, 41 00:06:02,651 --> 00:06:05,984 nice warm water and a cold beer. 42 00:06:09,116 --> 00:06:10,990 Honey, did you get any more Buds? 43 00:06:11,076 --> 00:06:16,035 No, I just didn't have time today to ravage the Riviera for your beer. 44 00:06:16,999 --> 00:06:20,333 - Tough day, huh? - Yeah, you could say it was tough. 45 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:24,038 But then when the going gets tough, the tough... 46 00:06:26,593 --> 00:06:28,467 I don't know what the tough do. 47 00:06:28,553 --> 00:06:31,638 I don't know what the pirates do, or what anybody does. 48 00:06:31,723 --> 00:06:35,223 - Jack... - Oh, honey. I know, baby. I know. 49 00:06:38,355 --> 00:06:41,273 Look out there. What do you see? 50 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,227 - Bloomingdale's? - No. 51 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,779 Greece. 52 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:49,529 Yeah. Mykonos, Lesbos, ouzo, olive oil. Honey, we're going. 53 00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:53,698 Wait. I thought you said that we were going back to New York for a while. 54 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:56,743 Absolutely. When the summer's over we're going. 55 00:06:56,834 --> 00:07:01,128 Oh, Jack, we've been on this boat half a year now. I need shore leave. 56 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:04,796 I promised Gloria I'd finish that book three months ago, and I can't. 57 00:07:04,884 --> 00:07:06,960 I don't know what happens next. 58 00:07:07,053 --> 00:07:09,840 I thought you wanted to sail around the world with me. 59 00:07:09,931 --> 00:07:13,134 Well, I do, but not all of it this week. 60 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,347 I mean, Jack, this is just becoming a blur. 61 00:07:16,438 --> 00:07:21,183 Exotic ports and great parties and spectacular sunsets... 62 00:07:21,276 --> 00:07:22,936 It's not enough. 63 00:07:23,028 --> 00:07:25,270 It's not enough?! 64 00:07:25,364 --> 00:07:29,694 You sound like someone who's got what they wanted and now don't want what they got. 65 00:07:29,785 --> 00:07:33,285 - I wanna do something serious. - Serious? Come on! 66 00:07:33,373 --> 00:07:35,780 How much romance can one woman take? 67 00:07:35,875 --> 00:07:38,164 Joan Wilder? 68 00:07:40,797 --> 00:07:43,288 From your most devoted friend. 69 00:07:44,009 --> 00:07:46,085 Thank you. 70 00:07:52,393 --> 00:07:56,640 "This afternoon we shall meet... awaiting the moment. " What's this afternoon? 71 00:07:56,731 --> 00:08:01,559 - Must be somebody coming to the reception. - That's not till next Tuesday. 72 00:08:03,154 --> 00:08:05,646 This is "next Tuesday", Jack. 73 00:08:21,883 --> 00:08:26,925 - Jack, you said you were getting a car. - If I knew it was Tuesday, I would've. Sorry. 74 00:08:27,013 --> 00:08:29,089 That's all right. 75 00:08:29,182 --> 00:08:32,516 Whaddaya say we spin that roulette wheel while we're there? 76 00:08:32,602 --> 00:08:34,679 Sounds great. 77 00:08:44,407 --> 00:08:45,687 Jack. 78 00:08:45,783 --> 00:08:47,657 - Yeah? - She can't leave now. 79 00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:50,531 - Why not? - What do you mean, "Why not?" 80 00:08:50,622 --> 00:08:54,121 - Oh, my God. - I'm your biggest fan! 81 00:08:54,209 --> 00:08:56,534 - I read all your books. - Thank you. 82 00:08:56,628 --> 00:09:00,875 I'm so happy to see you. 83 00:09:00,966 --> 00:09:04,216 - This is my publisher. Gloria Horne. - Oh, your publisher. 84 00:09:04,804 --> 00:09:07,721 - And this is... - You are Mr. Wilder? 85 00:09:08,307 --> 00:09:11,143 No, I'm Mr. Colton. Jack Colton. 86 00:09:11,227 --> 00:09:13,552 What do you do, Mr. Colton? 87 00:09:13,646 --> 00:09:15,723 Casino work. 88 00:09:15,815 --> 00:09:20,394 Yeah. I think I'll go downstairs and punch in. Excuse me, excuse me. 89 00:09:20,487 --> 00:09:22,978 - But... - I'll be back! 90 00:09:24,491 --> 00:09:26,733 God, I've got to have a drink! 91 00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:29,283 Literary functions are not Jack's speed. 92 00:09:29,371 --> 00:09:33,286 I mean, his favorite author is the man who wrote "Pull Tab to Open". 93 00:09:33,376 --> 00:09:37,290 - I am his favorite author. - You saying it's none of my business? 94 00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:40,417 Let me tell you, Jack is not the marrying kind. 95 00:09:40,508 --> 00:09:44,553 I am worried. You're the girl who never gets a book back late to the library. 96 00:09:44,638 --> 00:09:49,799 You are three months past your deadline. What gives? Un scotch, double. 97 00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:54,805 My heart just isn't in it. Romance just doesn't seem real to me any more. 98 00:09:54,899 --> 00:09:59,442 Real? You don't write "real". You write about people that sail off into the sunset. 99 00:09:59,529 --> 00:10:04,238 - And the next day when the sun comes up? - There is no next day in romance. 100 00:10:04,325 --> 00:10:07,659 Stop confusing real life with a romantic novel. 101 00:10:08,038 --> 00:10:11,621 - Joanie, just finish it. - I can't. 102 00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:14,745 After 17 books, I don't know how it ends any more. 103 00:10:14,837 --> 00:10:17,873 Then permit me to tell you. 104 00:10:21,177 --> 00:10:23,253 It doesn't end. 105 00:10:23,346 --> 00:10:27,178 It only begins anew when you journey down the Nile with me. 106 00:10:28,685 --> 00:10:31,390 - Have you got the right woman? - No. 107 00:10:32,606 --> 00:10:37,731 My name is Omar Khalifa and I have traveled 1,000 miles to tell you I need you. 108 00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:40,655 - You sent me the flowers. - They pale by your beauty. 109 00:10:40,739 --> 00:10:42,399 Oh, Mary! 110 00:10:42,491 --> 00:10:46,703 - I read about you. - Yes, I know. Time magazine. 111 00:10:46,788 --> 00:10:51,366 Well, I'm afraid the Western press cannot understand the spirit of my vision. 112 00:10:51,459 --> 00:10:54,377 You are a writer. You can understand. 113 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:58,873 So, Joan Wilder, you must come and write my story. 114 00:11:00,052 --> 00:11:02,377 I only write romance novels. 115 00:11:02,471 --> 00:11:06,469 Yes. And you haven't finished the one you're working on right now. 116 00:11:07,309 --> 00:11:11,639 You are a gifted storyteller. You create heroes in a world of cynics. 117 00:11:11,898 --> 00:11:15,765 Journey down the Nile with me and I'll give you a chance to record history. 118 00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:18,398 - Come. We must leave today. - Joanie! 119 00:11:18,989 --> 00:11:24,066 In just four nights I will become Emperor, and you will have the exclusive story. 120 00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:26,996 - They have emperors on the Nile? - They do now. 121 00:11:27,873 --> 00:11:29,949 Oh, shit. 122 00:11:49,771 --> 00:11:51,848 So now what are we celebrating? 123 00:11:51,940 --> 00:11:54,432 - The Nile! - Oh, the Nile. 124 00:11:54,652 --> 00:11:56,526 We've been invited to Africa. 125 00:11:57,405 --> 00:11:59,528 Jack Colton, Omar Khalifa. 126 00:12:00,283 --> 00:12:02,572 How do you do? 127 00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:08,829 He's asked me - me - to write his story. It's just what I've always wanted to do! 128 00:12:08,917 --> 00:12:13,247 And now Joan's work will receive the serious attention that it deserves. 129 00:12:13,338 --> 00:12:16,375 And this will be her biggest accomplishment: 130 00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:18,543 My biography. 131 00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:22,719 What's so important there that you have to write the book now? 132 00:12:22,807 --> 00:12:25,298 - Mr. Khalifa has... - Omar, please. 133 00:12:25,893 --> 00:12:30,141 Omar has been chosen to unite the tribes of the Nile 134 00:12:30,398 --> 00:12:33,316 and end the strife that has bloodied his land. 135 00:12:33,401 --> 00:12:36,568 He will carry on the work of the missing Great Redeemer. 136 00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:40,523 - You have listened very well. - You got all that in 20 minutes? 137 00:12:42,453 --> 00:12:46,451 As a friend of Miss Wilder's, you are welcome to be my guest also. 138 00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:49,075 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 139 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,875 Could I talk to you for a minute, please? 140 00:12:59,596 --> 00:13:01,672 I thought you wanted to go to New York. 141 00:13:01,765 --> 00:13:04,054 - That's all changed. - That fast? 142 00:13:04,143 --> 00:13:08,437 But to write a biography - it's something important, something real. 143 00:13:08,522 --> 00:13:12,686 - This is what I've been looking for. - Isn't it a little bit over your head? 144 00:13:12,777 --> 00:13:15,268 I think it's a great chance. 145 00:13:15,363 --> 00:13:17,439 So you got your heart set on it? 146 00:13:22,329 --> 00:13:24,784 Mine's set on Greece. 147 00:13:29,294 --> 00:13:31,371 So when are you gonna leave? 148 00:13:32,548 --> 00:13:35,300 Tonight. He has a private jet and... 149 00:13:35,384 --> 00:13:37,673 Oh, he's got a private jet. 150 00:13:39,806 --> 00:13:43,305 - Oh, what the hell. We had a good run. - Oh, Jack, come on. 151 00:13:43,393 --> 00:13:46,180 This is just five or four weeks of research. 152 00:13:46,271 --> 00:13:49,058 Maybe you're right. Maybe we need a break. 153 00:13:49,149 --> 00:13:51,557 It's been kind of tough lately. 154 00:13:51,652 --> 00:13:55,187 Yeah. When the going gets tough, the tough go to Greece. 155 00:13:59,201 --> 00:14:02,452 - Well, I'll write you. - Where? 156 00:14:04,207 --> 00:14:05,998 Yeah. 157 00:14:06,084 --> 00:14:07,958 Where? 158 00:14:20,766 --> 00:14:24,716 I think I'll go down and give that roulette wheel one more chance. 159 00:14:34,739 --> 00:14:36,816 You take care of yourself. 160 00:14:39,328 --> 00:14:41,404 And you stay out of trouble. 161 00:14:52,175 --> 00:14:54,049 Look out for her, will ya? 162 00:14:54,135 --> 00:14:58,347 I can offer you this comfort: She leaves you for a higher purpose. 163 00:15:01,643 --> 00:15:03,517 Yeah. 164 00:15:18,786 --> 00:15:20,863 Free Al-Jawhara! 165 00:15:50,529 --> 00:15:54,823 Don't be frightened. You know, a man of vision has many enemies. 166 00:15:54,908 --> 00:15:58,858 And my destiny is to outsmart them. You see? 167 00:15:59,830 --> 00:16:01,906 Like it? 168 00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:04,700 It's OK. 169 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:50,251 Well, sweetheart, I guess it's just you and me. 170 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,130 Goddamn it, she was the best time I ever had. 171 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,348 Don't cry, scumbag! I'll keep you company. 172 00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:03,228 Cartagena, Colombia! Long time no... Oh, shit. 173 00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:07,313 - Go ahead. Gimme a reason. Make my year! - Hey, go easy with the gun. 174 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:12,065 Did you miss me? I missed you. You're all I thought about for six months. 175 00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:17,117 They threw me in a jail filled with rejects from the communicable disease ward. 176 00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:22,117 Every wacko, drippy, open-sored lowlife was in that joint! 177 00:17:22,210 --> 00:17:24,666 All wanting to be my proctologist. 178 00:17:24,921 --> 00:17:28,171 And rats! I'm full of rat bites. 179 00:17:29,343 --> 00:17:34,337 Ten weeks of rabies shots this long and all I thought of was you, Colton. Just you! 180 00:17:34,431 --> 00:17:39,010 Well, I'm flattered, pal. And I'm sorry you had such a tough time. 181 00:17:40,396 --> 00:17:42,353 How about 100 bucks? 182 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:46,354 I'll give you a one-way ticket to Harp Land! What'd you do with it? 183 00:17:46,444 --> 00:17:49,730 - What are you talking about? - The stone, moron! I'm cocked! 184 00:17:49,823 --> 00:17:54,615 - Let's talk about this like gentlemen. - Gentlemen! Did I tell you I got malaria? 185 00:17:54,703 --> 00:17:59,164 Every time I shake, I shake like this. Know what happens if I shake my trigger finger? 186 00:17:59,249 --> 00:18:03,294 And I feel an attack coming on! Know what happens if that happens? 187 00:18:03,379 --> 00:18:06,214 It's the end of Mr. Lucky. That's the end of... 188 00:18:06,799 --> 00:18:09,041 Holy shit! 189 00:18:10,053 --> 00:18:13,386 Quiet! Next time you'll not be so lucky. 190 00:18:13,473 --> 00:18:17,423 - I am Tarak. You must come with me now. - What the hell are you? 191 00:18:17,519 --> 00:18:21,303 - Omar steal our jewel. Al-Jawhara. - Jewel? 192 00:18:21,398 --> 00:18:25,942 You were invited with the woman. You can get into Omar's palace. My people cannot. 193 00:18:26,028 --> 00:18:30,821 - What people? What are you talking about? - You must help me find the Jewel. 194 00:18:30,908 --> 00:18:33,281 - What jewel? - The Jewel of the Nile. 195 00:18:33,369 --> 00:18:35,860 - Our most priceless jewel. - Oh, that jewel. 196 00:18:35,955 --> 00:18:39,704 Omar has stolen my people's jewel. Omar is a very bad man. 197 00:18:39,793 --> 00:18:41,869 Oh, that scum! I spit on him! 198 00:18:41,962 --> 00:18:45,580 Jack, buddy, let's help this nice man get his jewel back. 199 00:18:45,674 --> 00:18:49,257 - Yes. - Look, I don't know where you're from, 200 00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:51,421 but I'm sailing my boat tonight. 201 00:18:51,514 --> 00:18:55,975 No, you must come to help find the Jewel now before Omar kill many people. 202 00:18:56,269 --> 00:19:00,053 As long as Omar have the Jewel, nothing can stop him. 203 00:19:00,148 --> 00:19:04,193 Look, I'm going on the boat. You guys can do what you want. 204 00:19:09,741 --> 00:19:11,615 The boat blew up! 205 00:19:13,996 --> 00:19:15,870 My boat blew up. 206 00:19:15,956 --> 00:19:17,996 The boat blew up! 207 00:19:18,084 --> 00:19:20,160 Everything's gone. 208 00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:25,880 Who are you? The Prince of Darkness? Don't you got any friends? 209 00:19:26,051 --> 00:19:28,127 This is the work of Omar. 210 00:19:29,554 --> 00:19:33,422 - Omar blew up my boat, huh? - Your woman is in danger, too. 211 00:19:33,517 --> 00:19:35,510 I will take you to him. 212 00:19:35,602 --> 00:19:38,094 - I'm coming, too. - The hell you are! 213 00:19:38,689 --> 00:19:41,690 Look, you owe me, Colton. 214 00:19:41,776 --> 00:19:44,481 So wherever you're going, I'm going. 215 00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:48,069 Where we going? 216 00:19:48,157 --> 00:19:49,700 Africa. 217 00:20:20,275 --> 00:20:23,525 - Do you recognize my home? - I wrote this! 218 00:20:23,612 --> 00:20:28,855 Yes! In The Return of the King. I had the same uniforms designed. 219 00:20:41,464 --> 00:20:43,753 Hello. Hi! 220 00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:50,214 - Is all this yours? - It belongs to the country. To my people. 221 00:20:50,307 --> 00:20:52,181 Oh. 222 00:20:57,231 --> 00:20:59,354 Why point out the negative? 223 00:20:59,442 --> 00:21:02,479 In three nights in Kadir the moon will be full, 224 00:21:02,570 --> 00:21:08,075 and all my people will unite behind me in peace and none of this will be necessary. 225 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:12,621 - Now let me show you my humble house. - Thank you. 226 00:21:18,754 --> 00:21:21,210 I'm really blessed. My people love me. 227 00:21:21,299 --> 00:21:24,964 Well, yes. They seem very... enthusiastic. 228 00:21:31,601 --> 00:21:36,180 Oh, this is a good shot for you - the little boy holding up my picture. 229 00:21:36,273 --> 00:21:38,349 Oh, yeah, that's wonderful. 230 00:22:00,465 --> 00:22:02,126 My humble house. 231 00:22:02,217 --> 00:22:04,839 You must forgive us. We are a poor people. 232 00:22:14,772 --> 00:22:17,394 Everything you need, they will bring you. 233 00:22:17,484 --> 00:22:18,943 Oh, thank you. 234 00:22:19,027 --> 00:22:23,025 Here only strangers say thank you. Family and friends have no need. 235 00:22:24,992 --> 00:22:26,984 What was that? 236 00:22:27,077 --> 00:22:29,153 Cats. Come. 237 00:22:31,499 --> 00:22:33,159 I have a cat. 238 00:22:40,759 --> 00:22:42,835 I hope this is satisfactory. 239 00:22:44,387 --> 00:22:47,673 Oh, yes, this is OK. Fine. 240 00:22:47,766 --> 00:22:50,304 Here you'll write your masterpiece. 241 00:22:50,394 --> 00:22:52,600 Ah, I have a few questions... 242 00:22:52,688 --> 00:22:56,188 I see the writer is already at work. Good. 243 00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:59,684 Explore your new world. 244 00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:03,195 Feel free to go anywhere and see anything. 245 00:23:03,533 --> 00:23:05,609 Talk to anyone. 246 00:23:06,202 --> 00:23:09,951 I'm glad you're here, Joan. Together we'll make history. 247 00:24:07,476 --> 00:24:09,552 It's like a fishbowl! 248 00:24:09,645 --> 00:24:14,224 Why do these Third World cesspools always gotta be so hot, will you tell me that? 249 00:24:16,486 --> 00:24:18,562 Hey, where the hell you going? 250 00:24:24,036 --> 00:24:26,112 Holy shit! 251 00:24:43,223 --> 00:24:47,802 Well, Colton, looks like we've hitched our wagon to a star. 252 00:25:16,759 --> 00:25:18,835 Stop that! Stop it! 253 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,596 Excuse me? 254 00:25:30,690 --> 00:25:33,146 What does this mean? 255 00:25:37,239 --> 00:25:40,489 - Do you speak English? - "Give back the Jewel. " 256 00:25:41,076 --> 00:25:44,576 - Give back the jewel? - Yeah. Eid lana Al-Jawhara. 257 00:25:49,460 --> 00:25:51,951 You can't do that! I'm a professional. 258 00:26:00,806 --> 00:26:02,882 We'll see about that. 259 00:26:04,810 --> 00:26:08,179 If you don't tell me what the hell is going on here, 260 00:26:08,272 --> 00:26:12,484 - I'll be on the first plane back to New York. - It's impossible. 261 00:26:13,069 --> 00:26:18,146 Tomorrow we journey to Kadir. You must be there. It will be your most important chapter. 262 00:26:18,241 --> 00:26:22,286 - I can't write if you keep secrets from me. - What secrets? 263 00:26:25,123 --> 00:26:27,199 What is the Jewel? 264 00:26:29,503 --> 00:26:31,828 The Jewel is a legend. 265 00:26:31,922 --> 00:26:33,998 I am real. 266 00:26:34,592 --> 00:26:38,008 Do not be distracted from your mission, Joan Wilder. 267 00:26:38,721 --> 00:26:40,797 Make yourself comfortable. 268 00:26:41,349 --> 00:26:44,303 You stay with me until our book is done. 269 00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:46,470 You can't keep me here! 270 00:26:49,232 --> 00:26:51,308 Go. You are free to leave. 271 00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:58,658 Only the worst kind of fool would attempt our desert alone. 272 00:27:09,003 --> 00:27:13,251 I gotta get off this camel. It's breaking my ass! Colton! 273 00:27:13,341 --> 00:27:15,915 - You gotta hang on and take it. - I can't. 274 00:27:16,011 --> 00:27:19,463 - The camp's coming up. - Shit! 275 00:27:34,781 --> 00:27:36,857 You are welcome! 276 00:27:38,493 --> 00:27:41,115 We have food! We have drink! 277 00:27:41,204 --> 00:27:43,281 You got a toilet? 278 00:27:48,170 --> 00:27:50,459 So how big is this jewel? 279 00:27:56,179 --> 00:27:59,263 Very, very big. Very big. Very, very big. 280 00:27:59,349 --> 00:28:00,512 Very big. 281 00:28:01,685 --> 00:28:04,390 It's as big as this orange? 282 00:28:12,154 --> 00:28:16,022 - It's as big as an orange. - The Jewel is the heart of our people. 283 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,608 Omar steals the heart of our people. 284 00:28:18,703 --> 00:28:20,992 - Omar is thief. - Omar is very bad man. 285 00:28:21,331 --> 00:28:24,332 Before Omar steal Jewel, everything good. 286 00:28:24,417 --> 00:28:26,327 Now everything is shit! 287 00:28:34,970 --> 00:28:39,716 You help us find the Jewel, and we give you great reward. 288 00:28:39,809 --> 00:28:43,143 But if you lie to us, you die. 289 00:28:44,898 --> 00:28:46,855 But now we dance! 290 00:29:21,854 --> 00:29:23,930 Look at these guys, Colton. 291 00:29:24,023 --> 00:29:26,099 No sheep is safe tonight. 292 00:29:37,537 --> 00:29:41,369 We split it right down the middle, Colton. 50-50. 293 00:29:41,458 --> 00:29:43,534 What are you talking about? 294 00:29:43,627 --> 00:29:46,165 Don't play stupid with me, partner. 295 00:29:46,255 --> 00:29:48,129 The Jewel. 296 00:29:48,215 --> 00:29:51,003 And don't you even think of messing with me. 297 00:29:56,683 --> 00:30:00,597 Oh, what's that I hear? A heart breaking? You sap! 298 00:30:00,687 --> 00:30:02,561 Keep your mind on business. 299 00:30:02,647 --> 00:30:07,226 You'll wind up getting yourself killed over some broad who dumped you. 300 00:30:09,112 --> 00:30:10,773 Jewels! 301 00:30:10,864 --> 00:30:13,190 Oh, Omar! 302 00:30:41,897 --> 00:30:44,436 I want you lot to be careful! 303 00:30:45,193 --> 00:30:50,318 See that word "Fragile" on the side? It means don't drop... Why don't you listen? 304 00:30:50,407 --> 00:30:55,152 I might love your country, your culture, and even your people! That means I love you! 305 00:30:55,245 --> 00:30:59,029 But you drop one more of my boxes, and I'll smash your bloody face in! 306 00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:06,502 You tell Omar, right - Omar - that his special-effects wizard has arrived! 307 00:31:06,591 --> 00:31:08,667 Come on, then. 308 00:32:34,935 --> 00:32:37,806 War plans? Oh, my God! What is he up to? 309 00:32:43,361 --> 00:32:46,112 Wait till Time magazine sees this. 310 00:33:10,598 --> 00:33:13,089 You bastard! You burnt my hand! 311 00:33:13,184 --> 00:33:18,143 I didn't say it wouldn't burn. I said it wouldn't hurt! There's no blistering. 312 00:33:18,231 --> 00:33:22,728 - I've done it hundreds of times on stage. - This is not a cheap theatrical stunt! 313 00:33:22,819 --> 00:33:28,110 - It's a miracle! My people have to believe it! - Omar, trust me. Trust what I've got to say. 314 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:33,159 Look, if I can make gods out of rock'n'roll stars, imagine what I can do for you. 315 00:33:33,247 --> 00:33:37,197 For your information, I am not a rock'n'roll star! 316 00:33:37,293 --> 00:33:40,579 The people must believe I have the same powers as the Jewel. 317 00:33:40,672 --> 00:33:42,997 Come! I want to see him now. 318 00:33:43,091 --> 00:33:47,303 If it weren't for the Jewel, I'd have led my people to power long ago. 319 00:33:56,689 --> 00:34:01,731 Westerners understand nothing. The Jewel represents the spiritual world of my people. 320 00:34:01,819 --> 00:34:06,398 Unless I convince them I am their spiritual leader, they will never follow me into battle. 321 00:34:06,491 --> 00:34:08,567 That is why you are here. 322 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:37,648 - Tell me how it's done, magician. - It's not magic trick. It's miracle. 323 00:34:38,942 --> 00:34:41,315 I am losing patience with you. 324 00:34:41,403 --> 00:34:45,353 But you cannot kill me. Even you are superstitious. 325 00:34:45,449 --> 00:34:48,119 Al-Jawhara lives. 326 00:34:48,202 --> 00:34:51,287 Two nights from now it will not matter. 327 00:35:06,889 --> 00:35:08,882 Oh, no. 328 00:35:13,229 --> 00:35:15,222 A woman? 329 00:35:15,481 --> 00:35:18,518 - Most unexpected. - I gotta get outta here. 330 00:35:18,610 --> 00:35:20,686 I gotta stop Omar. 331 00:35:20,946 --> 00:35:23,733 Did you bring an army? 332 00:35:23,824 --> 00:35:28,035 - No. I'm just Joan Wilder. - Just-Joan Wilder, I'm Al-Jawhara. 333 00:35:30,831 --> 00:35:33,287 The Jewel of the Nile. 334 00:35:33,626 --> 00:35:35,951 I don't understand. 335 00:35:36,045 --> 00:35:39,414 - You are the Jewel?! - Yes. For the moment. 336 00:35:39,507 --> 00:35:44,419 In two nights at the holy city of Kadir Omar will proclaim himself Emperor. 337 00:35:44,512 --> 00:35:48,557 Without me to oppose him, he'll march across North Africa like a madman. 338 00:35:50,185 --> 00:35:53,020 But the world will see me as the savior of my people. 339 00:35:53,105 --> 00:35:57,981 No, it won't. The world won't believe you. I've been in your office and seen your vision. 340 00:35:58,069 --> 00:36:00,441 - I'll write the truth about you. - The truth? 341 00:36:00,780 --> 00:36:03,816 If I wanted the truth, I would have hired 60 Minutes. 342 00:36:03,908 --> 00:36:06,945 What do you know about truth? You fantasize everything. 343 00:36:07,036 --> 00:36:12,458 Why do you think I brought you here? You stay here and write what I tell you to write! 344 00:36:14,086 --> 00:36:18,250 - You think no one knows I'm here? - Oh, yes, Jack! I forgot to tell you. 345 00:36:18,549 --> 00:36:21,040 Jack is dead. 346 00:36:22,011 --> 00:36:25,843 Don't be ridiculous. Jack would never die without telling me. 347 00:36:26,182 --> 00:36:28,258 Nevertheless, he is dead. 348 00:36:35,192 --> 00:36:39,854 You look pale, Miss Wilder. I'll send you my personal physician. 349 00:36:46,245 --> 00:36:48,653 It can't be true. 350 00:36:54,128 --> 00:36:57,794 This Jack... He is friend for you? 351 00:36:59,301 --> 00:37:01,044 Yes. 352 00:37:01,136 --> 00:37:03,212 He is my best friend. 353 00:37:16,152 --> 00:37:18,643 What? I don't see shit! 354 00:37:19,823 --> 00:37:21,815 We must stop here. 355 00:37:21,908 --> 00:37:24,945 It is dangerous for Sufis to enter Omar's city. 356 00:37:25,537 --> 00:37:28,242 Now, wait. He's already tried to kill me once. 357 00:37:30,417 --> 00:37:32,706 You are guest of Omar. 358 00:37:33,295 --> 00:37:36,415 Find for us the Jewel. Accept your destiny. 359 00:37:37,884 --> 00:37:40,754 Destiny, my ass! Excuse me. 360 00:37:41,930 --> 00:37:44,681 When you hook up with jujubes, see what happens. 361 00:37:44,766 --> 00:37:47,720 Just take your lead from me, and we'll be fine. 362 00:37:49,187 --> 00:37:53,648 - We gonna walk through the centre of town? - I'm gonna put you up a camel's ass. 363 00:37:53,734 --> 00:37:55,394 I might like it. 364 00:38:01,033 --> 00:38:03,607 - What are you doing? - In one of my books, 365 00:38:03,703 --> 00:38:05,779 Angelina's Savage Secret, 366 00:38:05,872 --> 00:38:10,534 she used her nail file to cut the mortar away from the window box. 367 00:38:11,086 --> 00:38:13,209 How long did this take? 368 00:38:13,296 --> 00:38:15,254 Two pages. 369 00:38:15,340 --> 00:38:19,967 But... it's not the bars that make the prison. It is the desert. 370 00:38:20,054 --> 00:38:23,886 So I'll travel at night. I don't care. I have to stop Omar. 371 00:38:23,974 --> 00:38:26,726 I gotta get out to write the truth about him. 372 00:38:26,811 --> 00:38:28,887 I have to get to Kadir. 373 00:38:29,439 --> 00:38:32,890 Wait a minute. You are the one that has to get to Kadir. 374 00:38:32,984 --> 00:38:36,318 You are the only one that can stop Omar. You have to go with me! 375 00:38:39,074 --> 00:38:41,363 Maybe you are the one. 376 00:38:43,454 --> 00:38:44,912 I accept. 377 00:38:45,289 --> 00:38:47,365 We are sworn, Just-Joan. 378 00:38:49,418 --> 00:38:52,704 - Right. But it's just Joan. - Right. Just-Joan. 379 00:38:52,797 --> 00:38:56,462 - Right. We just have to get out this window. - Please. 380 00:39:01,723 --> 00:39:04,641 - Magic! - Dry rot. 381 00:39:06,687 --> 00:39:12,725 I bet you could pick up a swell three-bedroom town house here for about five or six dollars. 382 00:39:15,696 --> 00:39:17,440 Hi. My name is Colton. 383 00:39:17,532 --> 00:39:21,232 I've been invited by your Omar. I'm here to see Joan Wilder. 384 00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:26,572 Hey, Rachid! How are you? Good to see you again. 385 00:39:26,666 --> 00:39:28,873 Joan Wilder does not want to see you. 386 00:39:33,173 --> 00:39:36,377 Well, now, Rachid, I don't think you understand. 387 00:39:37,970 --> 00:39:42,467 We're here on official business. This is Mr................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 388 00:39:42,558 --> 00:39:46,687 He's got something very important to talk to all you guys about. 389 00:39:51,067 --> 00:39:54,401 Look, we don't want to create an international incident here. 390 00:39:54,488 --> 00:39:57,608 I mean, after all, she is an American citizen. 391 00:39:57,700 --> 00:40:01,863 If you'll just let us see her, no paperwork. Mum's the word. Everything... 392 00:40:04,415 --> 00:40:07,915 Guys, no sweat, OK? We'll catch you next time we're in town. 393 00:40:08,002 --> 00:40:10,328 - Take it easy. - Say hello to her for us. 394 00:40:10,421 --> 00:40:14,170 You know what they say: Once they've had a holy man, they never go back. 395 00:40:14,759 --> 00:40:18,971 - Quickly, Just-Joan! - Are you sure you know where you're going? 396 00:40:24,228 --> 00:40:27,264 Those guys can go for hours without coming up for air. 397 00:40:27,356 --> 00:40:31,437 Ease up, will ya? All right, there's gotta be another way in here. 398 00:40:31,527 --> 00:40:37,364 I can't wait for another smooth move. How about us at the back door in pussycat suits? 399 00:40:37,450 --> 00:40:41,318 - When they come with the milk... - How about you takin' it in the ear!? 400 00:40:41,413 --> 00:40:44,616 Look, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be on to this. 401 00:40:44,833 --> 00:40:47,751 Subsequently I should shoot you the first chance I get! 402 00:40:47,836 --> 00:40:49,379 Jack! 403 00:40:49,797 --> 00:40:51,873 You're alive! 404 00:40:51,966 --> 00:40:54,124 Kinda goin' outta your way to duck me! 405 00:40:54,218 --> 00:40:56,591 You bastard! 406 00:41:05,188 --> 00:41:08,059 Oh, Jack! I thought I'd never see you again. 407 00:41:08,150 --> 00:41:12,100 They told me you were dead. I never wanna feel that way again. 408 00:41:12,571 --> 00:41:15,359 Does this mean you apologize? 409 00:41:15,449 --> 00:41:19,613 I feel like I'm back in eighth grade. Is this The Young and the Stupid? 410 00:41:19,704 --> 00:41:24,081 - What the hell is he doing here? - Don't get cagey with me. I'm on to it. 411 00:41:24,167 --> 00:41:26,243 I know how you two operate. 412 00:41:28,672 --> 00:41:31,792 I'll get in there with or without you dinks! 413 00:41:40,601 --> 00:41:45,678 Hey, look, guys! Lighten up! I'm only saying hello to an old girlfriend here! 414 00:41:45,773 --> 00:41:49,522 - Just-Joan, we need to go! - Wait a minute, who's this guy? 415 00:41:49,611 --> 00:41:52,945 - He's a friend. - You made friends in there? 416 00:42:09,257 --> 00:42:12,211 - OK. Let's go, come on! - Wait. He's coming with us. 417 00:42:13,386 --> 00:42:17,170 Don't start with me! I've come halfway across Africa to rescue you. 418 00:42:17,265 --> 00:42:20,053 Rescue me? I was doing fine without you. 419 00:42:21,854 --> 00:42:25,187 - I am guide. I can help. - I don't need a guide. I need a miracle! 420 00:42:25,274 --> 00:42:27,350 Jack, he's coming with us. 421 00:42:31,155 --> 00:42:35,449 All right. But if we get out of this alive, I'm gonna kill you. 422 00:42:35,535 --> 00:42:36,994 Let's go. 423 00:43:11,782 --> 00:43:14,355 - Who are you? - Is this where Al Jolson's buried? 424 00:43:14,451 --> 00:43:17,203 - Who the hell are you? - Don't provoke me, pal! 425 00:43:17,288 --> 00:43:21,867 I had a tough day. You know how hot it is here? It's 120� in the shade. 426 00:43:24,003 --> 00:43:27,372 I'm like this with Weinberger. We'll be all over you! 427 00:43:35,349 --> 00:43:37,223 Let me in! 428 00:43:39,311 --> 00:43:41,434 Holy shit and shove me in it. 429 00:44:13,806 --> 00:44:15,883 Oh, no. Over the wall! 430 00:44:49,762 --> 00:44:52,134 Excuse me. Excuse me. 431 00:44:56,018 --> 00:44:57,892 Come on! 432 00:44:57,979 --> 00:44:59,639 No! No! 433 00:45:04,319 --> 00:45:07,355 OK, flyboy, your estimated time of departure is now! 434 00:45:26,092 --> 00:45:29,046 - What are you doing? - I'm not doing anything! 435 00:45:30,096 --> 00:45:33,679 - Well, do something! - All right. I'm trying! 436 00:45:36,854 --> 00:45:39,226 I mean, this isn't Space Invaders! 437 00:45:45,321 --> 00:45:48,239 - Jack, the wall! - Oh, no! 438 00:46:28,659 --> 00:46:32,823 - It is Space Invaders! - That'll show 'em! 439 00:46:42,590 --> 00:46:44,500 All right, yeah! 440 00:46:45,260 --> 00:46:47,965 Oh, shit! 441 00:46:50,140 --> 00:46:52,216 Let's get outta here! 442 00:47:07,909 --> 00:47:09,985 This is gonna be tight! 443 00:47:14,917 --> 00:47:17,159 This is my first time in airplane. 444 00:47:29,849 --> 00:47:32,175 How do you stop this thing? 445 00:47:38,525 --> 00:47:40,399 Sorry! 446 00:47:48,661 --> 00:47:51,496 - Do you know where you're going? - Give me a break! 447 00:48:36,379 --> 00:48:39,214 - Your friend steal the Jewel. - What? 448 00:48:43,887 --> 00:48:46,971 - You! You are liar to me! - No! 449 00:48:47,432 --> 00:48:49,721 I come back and you're dead! 450 00:48:54,732 --> 00:48:57,898 You thieving bastard! You ain't stiffin' me again! 451 00:48:57,985 --> 00:49:01,354 I promise ya. I'll feed ya to the maggots! I'll get... 452 00:50:00,969 --> 00:50:02,843 Great! We're out of quarters. 453 00:50:02,929 --> 00:50:05,053 Well, try that one there. 454 00:50:10,646 --> 00:50:12,722 Now what? 455 00:50:13,190 --> 00:50:15,267 Damn it! 456 00:50:25,036 --> 00:50:26,780 Yes! 457 00:50:27,622 --> 00:50:30,292 Hey, that's not bad for your first time. 458 00:51:04,662 --> 00:51:06,785 Come on, we'll get him. We'll get him. 459 00:51:06,873 --> 00:51:09,411 Colton, you ain't gettin' away. 460 00:51:30,356 --> 00:51:32,432 Where the hell's the horn? 461 00:51:33,693 --> 00:51:36,445 Get outta here! Get out of the way! 462 00:51:54,632 --> 00:51:56,091 Sandstorm. 463 00:52:06,061 --> 00:52:08,635 Stop! 464 00:52:09,022 --> 00:52:11,395 What are you gonna do? 465 00:52:12,943 --> 00:52:15,517 Either save us or kill us. Hang on! 466 00:53:16,761 --> 00:53:19,716 - Now you are dead. - No! Don't cut off my head! 467 00:53:19,806 --> 00:53:23,851 - You stole our jewel. - It was the mook! He's always screwin' me. 468 00:53:23,936 --> 00:53:26,890 I swear to God on my eyes I never seen that jewel! 469 00:53:28,524 --> 00:53:31,146 No, wait, wait! 470 00:53:31,235 --> 00:53:33,773 You need me. I can help you find him. 471 00:53:33,863 --> 00:53:38,775 - You are his friend. - No! No friend. Stop saying that. 472 00:53:38,868 --> 00:53:41,194 Friends don't stab each other in the back. 473 00:53:41,288 --> 00:53:45,914 Come on. Look, we'll team up. We'll find him, we'll get him good. 474 00:53:46,001 --> 00:53:50,295 He knows that I will not be denied! Colton's future is bleak! 475 00:53:50,965 --> 00:53:53,041 Very bleak! 476 00:53:56,012 --> 00:53:57,886 Any idea where we are? 477 00:53:57,972 --> 00:54:02,931 The best I can figure out is that we head due east. We should make it to the border. 478 00:54:03,019 --> 00:54:08,606 - Well... is that the way to Kadir? - La. Kadir is in the west, over that mountain. 479 00:54:08,734 --> 00:54:12,269 Well, the best of luck to you, pal. Joan, let's get going. 480 00:54:12,363 --> 00:54:14,521 Jack, we have to take him to Kadir. 481 00:54:15,825 --> 00:54:19,276 What are you talkin' about? We got him out, like you said. Come on. 482 00:54:19,370 --> 00:54:22,490 We swore an oath, Just-Joan and I. We go to Kadir. 483 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,491 What is it with you?! 484 00:54:26,586 --> 00:54:31,295 Jesus! Everything's always gotta be your way? It's just like the goddamn boat! 485 00:54:31,383 --> 00:54:35,796 What do you mean "my way"? It wasn't my idea to spend six months on your boat! 486 00:54:35,888 --> 00:54:40,349 - Oh, debate good. I enjoy. - OK, let me tell you what I put up with. 487 00:54:40,726 --> 00:54:44,973 We're moored off the Canary Islands. Midnight, sound asleep. 488 00:54:45,064 --> 00:54:47,686 Three crazed Joan Wilder fans 489 00:54:47,775 --> 00:54:51,227 decide they want the anchor of the Angelina for a souvenir! 490 00:54:51,321 --> 00:54:56,742 - We were drifting for days! And the other... - Stop. I'm sorry. It's time for Just-Joan. 491 00:54:56,827 --> 00:54:59,994 - Remember the Costa del Sol, Jack? - Oh, come on! 492 00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:02,916 He's gotta meet me at the governor's for dinner. 493 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:07,958 And you show up with the entire national basketball team! 494 00:55:08,047 --> 00:55:09,921 They were hungry. 495 00:55:10,007 --> 00:55:13,626 This is what I'm talking about. Sometimes you could think about me. 496 00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:17,967 Oh, I suppose you were thinking all about me when you took off with Omar? 497 00:55:18,058 --> 00:55:20,134 - He blew up my boat! - Our boat? 498 00:55:20,227 --> 00:55:24,094 - Oh, now it's our boat? - Good debate. It's equal, no winners. 499 00:55:24,189 --> 00:55:27,475 - Just-Joan, we must hurry. - Wait. He blew up our boat? 500 00:55:27,568 --> 00:55:30,818 Why are you risking your life for this guy? 501 00:55:32,156 --> 00:55:35,988 I made a commitment. I can't break it. 502 00:55:39,873 --> 00:55:42,542 OK. Fine. 503 00:55:42,626 --> 00:55:46,410 But I'm gonna tell you the truth. I didn't come here for you anyway. No! 504 00:55:46,505 --> 00:55:49,589 I'm on to something big. 505 00:55:50,217 --> 00:55:55,212 - A jewel. The Jewel of the Nile. - Come with us. I am Jawhara! 506 00:55:56,223 --> 00:55:59,509 - That means Joe. - Thanks, Joe, but no thanks. 507 00:55:59,978 --> 00:56:02,979 I wouldn't want her to break her commitment. 508 00:56:03,690 --> 00:56:05,766 Oh, Jack... 509 00:56:06,192 --> 00:56:08,269 Come on. 510 00:56:46,569 --> 00:56:48,645 That's for the Angelina. 511 00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:51,857 I still owe you for Joan. 512 00:56:55,453 --> 00:57:00,116 Oh, no. Oh, God. Please, let me get out of this alive. 513 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:04,248 I swear to God I'll be a good boy from tomorrow on. 514 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:11,837 But tonight I gotta kill Colton. 515 00:57:25,652 --> 00:57:28,060 Heydi Joan Wilder! 516 00:57:42,170 --> 00:57:45,919 - Why you didn't tell your friend about me? - Oh, I know him. 517 00:57:46,508 --> 00:57:50,969 He'd go halfway round the world for a party. He wouldn't cross town for a noble cause. 518 00:57:51,054 --> 00:57:55,005 - People can surprise you. - No, he's just Jack. He'll never change. 519 00:57:55,100 --> 00:57:57,177 Like a... 520 00:57:57,770 --> 00:57:59,893 Like a stone. 521 00:57:59,981 --> 00:58:03,729 It's always a stone. Open your hand. 522 00:58:04,986 --> 00:58:08,236 Change is not always visible. 523 00:58:08,406 --> 00:58:11,573 - Let's show some hustle! - What? 524 00:58:11,660 --> 00:58:15,610 Your buddy Omar! What is it? He can't live without you? 525 00:58:19,460 --> 00:58:22,295 - Are we jogging? - We are jogging. 526 00:58:35,060 --> 00:58:37,551 Greece is looking better and better. 527 00:58:46,614 --> 00:58:48,690 Oh, shit! 528 00:58:50,159 --> 00:58:53,077 Just tell me why this guy wants you so bad. 529 00:58:53,997 --> 00:58:56,452 - Hey, Joe, where you going? - This way. 530 00:58:56,541 --> 00:58:59,875 - You gotta be kidding. - He knows the mountains better than you. 531 00:58:59,961 --> 00:59:02,038 Joan, will you give me a break? 532 00:59:02,130 --> 00:59:04,538 America - democracy. We vote, huh? 533 00:59:59,066 --> 01:00:01,142 Stop! 534 01:00:13,165 --> 01:00:15,241 Hurry up. Let's go! 535 01:00:16,168 --> 01:00:17,413 Get down! 536 01:00:21,674 --> 01:00:23,750 It's a black day for democracy. 537 01:00:25,177 --> 01:00:29,222 - Do not worry. It's not my destiny to die here. - What about us? 538 01:00:30,475 --> 01:00:33,013 That's another ball game. 539 01:00:41,987 --> 01:00:44,194 Rachid! 540 01:00:48,202 --> 01:00:50,409 Joan Wilder! 541 01:00:50,496 --> 01:00:52,869 I wish no harm to you! 542 01:00:53,291 --> 01:00:55,864 I'm your friend! Your fan! 543 01:00:56,419 --> 01:00:58,626 Please surrender! 544 01:00:58,713 --> 01:01:02,877 What did you do for this guy Omar you never did for me? 545 01:01:02,968 --> 01:01:05,044 Bloody bitch! 546 01:01:14,772 --> 01:01:16,848 Oh, shit! Look out! 547 01:01:49,059 --> 01:01:51,217 Hey, Omar! Eat rocks! 548 01:01:53,146 --> 01:01:54,641 Let's go. 549 01:02:23,429 --> 01:02:25,505 I got something. 550 01:02:29,602 --> 01:02:31,761 Nubians. 551 01:02:31,854 --> 01:02:34,180 I was hoping to avoid them. 552 01:02:41,239 --> 01:02:43,316 Sell any books here? 553 01:02:46,662 --> 01:02:50,327 - Main man! Hey, my man! - What are you so happy about? 554 01:02:50,416 --> 01:02:54,663 Just keep smiling. Maybe they'll think we're from National Geographic. 555 01:03:00,844 --> 01:03:02,920 Hey! How ya doin'? 556 01:03:34,171 --> 01:03:37,291 He says it's many days' long trip over high mountains. 557 01:03:37,383 --> 01:03:40,004 And he wishes us a very pleasant journey. 558 01:03:42,096 --> 01:03:44,422 Thank you. 559 01:03:44,515 --> 01:03:48,644 All right. Thank you, guys. Catch you next time. Goodbye. 560 01:03:48,728 --> 01:03:50,804 Come on, Jack. 561 01:03:53,525 --> 01:03:59,730 Ah, Mr. Jack! Just-Joan! The Chief's son, he wishes to make a blessing for your marriage. 562 01:04:01,867 --> 01:04:04,323 We're not married. 563 01:04:24,975 --> 01:04:30,266 He says, because you are not married, that his son wishes to court you. 564 01:04:30,690 --> 01:04:33,181 - Oh, I just... - Oh, no, that's... 565 01:04:34,235 --> 01:04:38,529 That's very nice, but the lady is... She's with me. 566 01:04:44,746 --> 01:04:50,037 He says that because there is more than one suitor, that you must wrestle his son. 567 01:04:50,377 --> 01:04:52,454 I gotta wrestle his son? 568 01:04:57,552 --> 01:04:59,628 How ya doin'? 569 01:05:03,266 --> 01:05:05,342 OK. This one I think I can handle. 570 01:05:06,019 --> 01:05:07,893 OK! 571 01:05:12,735 --> 01:05:13,980 No? 572 01:05:14,570 --> 01:05:16,646 Hussein! 573 01:05:36,593 --> 01:05:40,342 Wait a minute, guys. Let's talk this over like gentlemen! 574 01:05:42,934 --> 01:05:45,389 All right. You guys are with me, huh? 575 01:05:45,478 --> 01:05:47,435 Yeah, me. All right. 576 01:05:47,522 --> 01:05:51,520 Do me a favor. Tell him we lived together for six months. Shit. 577 01:05:51,610 --> 01:05:53,935 All right, what are the rules? 578 01:06:18,430 --> 01:06:20,588 Right. 579 01:06:32,195 --> 01:06:34,187 I'm sorry about that. 580 01:06:36,950 --> 01:06:39,192 No, not the left one! No! 581 01:06:43,290 --> 01:06:46,160 No pain, no gain. 582 01:06:46,251 --> 01:06:48,327 Let me go! 583 01:06:54,885 --> 01:06:56,962 - No! - Can we talk about this? 584 01:06:57,930 --> 01:07:00,007 Stop it! 585 01:07:00,516 --> 01:07:02,593 We have to do something! 586 01:07:03,311 --> 01:07:05,387 I am doing something. 587 01:07:26,544 --> 01:07:28,620 Joe, he's... 588 01:08:32,281 --> 01:08:36,528 - That was great! - Great, huh? I could've gotten killed! 589 01:09:33,096 --> 01:09:37,639 This is the marriage dance. In this tribe, the women, they choose the man. 590 01:09:38,018 --> 01:09:42,431 And then, according to the custom, they will be together for life. 591 01:09:42,523 --> 01:09:44,895 They get all that from one dance? 592 01:09:44,984 --> 01:09:46,644 It's beautiful! 593 01:09:52,116 --> 01:09:56,909 Ralph, if you want to be one of us, take off your shoes and socks. 594 01:09:57,747 --> 01:10:01,496 If you want to be one of us, you must see with the eyes of your heart, 595 01:10:01,585 --> 01:10:04,372 - not with the eyes of your head. - Gotcha, yeah. 596 01:10:04,463 --> 01:10:07,713 Your heart will never give you fear or pain - 597 01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:09,876 if you know our way. 598 01:10:12,054 --> 01:10:13,714 Ralph. 599 01:10:13,806 --> 01:10:17,140 No, thanks, pal. Keep your friggin' jewel. 600 01:10:17,227 --> 01:10:19,303 - No! - Are you afraid? 601 01:10:20,230 --> 01:10:22,104 I just had my feet resoled. 602 01:10:22,399 --> 01:10:26,563 - What is the worst that can happen to you? - I could wind up a Chicken McNugget. 603 01:10:26,653 --> 01:10:32,526 - What is the best that could happen to you? - I could get through this and find the Jewel. 604 01:10:32,618 --> 01:10:34,694 It's your choice. 605 01:10:34,787 --> 01:10:36,863 Look down. 606 01:10:40,793 --> 01:10:42,454 Hot coals! 607 01:10:46,174 --> 01:10:48,297 I did it! I did it! I'm one of us! 608 01:11:15,831 --> 01:11:17,907 All right! Yeah! 609 01:11:43,569 --> 01:11:46,060 Your fears - they make you foolish. 610 01:11:53,121 --> 01:11:55,197 Go to her, Jack. 611 01:13:17,377 --> 01:13:21,327 - I'm sorry I got people shooting at you again. - You kidding? 612 01:13:21,423 --> 01:13:24,757 We're the perfect couple when we got people shooting at us. 613 01:13:24,844 --> 01:13:29,553 - Just the slow times I'm not too good at. - I guess I just expect too much. 614 01:13:29,640 --> 01:13:31,717 Maybe we both expect too much. 615 01:13:34,938 --> 01:13:37,014 Oh, boy. 616 01:13:38,734 --> 01:13:41,141 Thank you for coming to Kadir with me. 617 01:14:09,224 --> 01:14:11,716 This valley is gift of the Nile. 618 01:14:20,361 --> 01:14:22,520 I've been away from here too long. 619 01:14:26,868 --> 01:14:30,534 You know, I'm getting to like this guy Joe. He's growing on me. 620 01:14:30,622 --> 01:14:33,956 What do you say we cut him in on this jewel, if we ever find it? 621 01:14:34,043 --> 01:14:36,119 Jack... 622 01:14:36,921 --> 01:14:38,997 We have the Jewel. 623 01:14:40,007 --> 01:14:42,166 What are you talking about? Where? 624 01:14:42,760 --> 01:14:45,049 Well, there. 625 01:14:48,725 --> 01:14:50,801 - What, Joe's got the Jewel? - No. 626 01:14:52,270 --> 01:14:54,347 Joe is the Jewel. 627 01:14:58,027 --> 01:15:00,233 Joe is the Jewel of the Nile? 628 01:15:00,321 --> 01:15:04,484 He's a holy man. That's his religious title. 629 01:15:06,619 --> 01:15:08,908 Joe is the Jewel. 630 01:15:16,797 --> 01:15:20,581 Why didn't you tell me the truth? Why'd you keep it from me? 631 01:15:20,676 --> 01:15:23,796 Because I thought if you knew, you wouldn't come with us. 632 01:15:23,887 --> 01:15:25,964 Maybe I would've surprised you. 633 01:15:26,849 --> 01:15:30,847 I think I've come through once or twice, if I remember right. 634 01:15:30,937 --> 01:15:33,642 I'm sorry. 635 01:15:33,731 --> 01:15:36,649 You're right. You come through all the time. 636 01:15:44,243 --> 01:15:46,319 It's funny. 637 01:15:47,371 --> 01:15:49,862 I really thought we had a chance. 638 01:16:04,931 --> 01:16:06,924 Look! The train to Kadir! 639 01:16:07,017 --> 01:16:10,220 Come on, Jack. Inshallah, we'll be there tonight. 640 01:16:10,312 --> 01:16:14,476 - What a lot of people! - They are going to see the false redeemer. 641 01:16:14,567 --> 01:16:17,900 - Omar again, huh? - We'll see about that. 642 01:16:53,859 --> 01:16:55,935 Shit! 643 01:18:05,852 --> 01:18:07,928 What are you doing? 644 01:18:08,397 --> 01:18:10,685 Come on! 645 01:18:10,941 --> 01:18:12,601 Jump! 646 01:18:16,280 --> 01:18:17,691 No! 647 01:18:48,564 --> 01:18:50,641 No! Hang on, Joan! 648 01:19:09,462 --> 01:19:11,122 Jack, watch out! 649 01:19:11,214 --> 01:19:13,206 It's... 650 01:19:41,663 --> 01:19:45,447 Guys, wait up! Come on, Humphrey. Go, go, go! 651 01:19:54,885 --> 01:19:57,092 Do something! 652 01:19:57,179 --> 01:19:59,256 What do you want me to do? 653 01:21:32,031 --> 01:21:33,739 Colton! 654 01:21:35,326 --> 01:21:38,695 Your ass is grass, and I'm a lawn mower, Colton! 655 01:21:38,788 --> 01:21:41,623 Colton, I'll get you! Colton, I'm on to ya! 656 01:22:15,077 --> 01:22:16,737 Colton. 657 01:23:12,221 --> 01:23:14,297 All right, yeah! 658 01:23:16,768 --> 01:23:20,018 All right! Let's go, come on. Let's get out of here! 659 01:23:26,862 --> 01:23:28,938 Just-Joan, you're gre... 660 01:23:30,783 --> 01:23:32,656 Welcome. 661 01:23:32,743 --> 01:23:37,868 I don't usually travel by train, but I had a small accident with my helicopter. 662 01:23:51,179 --> 01:23:53,468 May we reach Kadir in time. 663 01:24:16,331 --> 01:24:20,376 Once we get inside, we must find the entrance to the catacombs. 664 01:24:21,253 --> 01:24:23,329 T- shirts! Buy T-shirts! 665 01:24:23,422 --> 01:24:27,883 Gimme the T-shirt. I'll buy it, I'll buy it. Get outta here, will ya? 666 01:24:48,157 --> 01:24:52,025 You know, I really admire your loyalty to each other. 667 01:24:52,745 --> 01:24:56,660 And I'm going to give you a chance to be together to the very end. 668 01:24:56,749 --> 01:24:58,623 Well, not exactly. 669 01:24:58,710 --> 01:25:01,830 One will watch the other die. 670 01:25:06,969 --> 01:25:09,045 But which one? 671 01:25:10,723 --> 01:25:12,799 Rachid. 672 01:25:14,518 --> 01:25:17,769 - Is that the goat's blood? - Yes. 673 01:25:17,855 --> 01:25:21,936 Very popular with the inhabitants of these catacombs. 674 01:25:22,402 --> 01:25:26,649 - Rats. - Yes. They eat until they get the last drop. 675 01:25:27,032 --> 01:25:30,068 But don't worry, Mr. Colton. You won't be alone. 676 01:25:30,869 --> 01:25:35,994 Rachid is now placing acid that will eat through Miss Wilder's rope. 677 01:25:36,083 --> 01:25:39,001 What kind of sick pervert would go to this trouble? 678 01:25:39,462 --> 01:25:41,454 - Why don't you shoot us?! - Jack! 679 01:25:41,547 --> 01:25:45,462 What kind of demented psychopath would even think of this? 680 01:25:45,677 --> 01:25:48,168 - The Savage Secret. - What? 681 01:25:49,347 --> 01:25:51,221 Was my biggest seller. 682 01:25:55,479 --> 01:26:00,106 Think about this pit as your last adventure, Joan Wilder. 683 01:26:01,569 --> 01:26:03,858 My people await me. 684 01:26:24,051 --> 01:26:27,586 What you talkin' about? I work with professional people. 685 01:26:27,680 --> 01:26:31,678 You tell His Highness the show starts with him or without him. 686 01:26:39,401 --> 01:26:43,565 Goddamn beanie convention. Wind up goin' home with a rug. 687 01:26:43,655 --> 01:26:45,731 The entrance! 688 01:26:56,878 --> 01:26:59,167 Give me a red to the yellow. And cue! 689 01:27:01,049 --> 01:27:03,587 I said give me a red gel down there! 690 01:27:09,475 --> 01:27:12,511 And cue! For Gawd's sake, cue! 691 01:27:37,129 --> 01:27:40,130 Build it, build it softly. And give me some smoke. 692 01:28:10,498 --> 01:28:14,911 That's good, that's good, that's very good. Now, bring it up slowly. 693 01:29:32,127 --> 01:29:34,583 There are many rooms and many ways. 694 01:29:34,671 --> 01:29:36,878 You! You go this way. 695 01:29:36,965 --> 01:29:39,254 And, you! You go this way. 696 01:29:39,343 --> 01:29:41,799 And we: We go this way. 697 01:30:02,868 --> 01:30:04,944 Boy, it stinks in this place. 698 01:30:09,292 --> 01:30:11,913 What looks good, amigo? 699 01:30:12,003 --> 01:30:15,871 You go from this way. And... I go this way. 700 01:30:15,965 --> 01:30:18,042 All right. 701 01:30:19,052 --> 01:30:20,926 What a fruit loop. 702 01:30:22,472 --> 01:30:24,549 - How'd they get out? - What? 703 01:30:24,641 --> 01:30:27,596 In The Savage Secret, how'd they get out? 704 01:30:29,438 --> 01:30:32,309 Jesse had a knife hidden in his boot. 705 01:30:33,609 --> 01:30:36,610 You wouldn't happen to have a knife, would ya? 706 01:30:36,696 --> 01:30:39,733 - I'm not even wearing underwear. - Great! 707 01:30:40,867 --> 01:30:42,943 No! 708 01:31:02,181 --> 01:31:04,886 We were good together, weren't we, Joan Wilder? 709 01:31:04,976 --> 01:31:07,135 The best. 710 01:31:07,229 --> 01:31:10,146 - And we're gonna make it. - Yeah. 711 01:31:13,485 --> 01:31:15,893 Oh, God. I love you, lady. 712 01:31:15,988 --> 01:31:17,897 I love you, Jack. 713 01:31:18,240 --> 01:31:20,316 Will you marry me? 714 01:31:21,619 --> 01:31:24,905 - Yes! - Because I never want you leaving me again. 715 01:31:25,623 --> 01:31:29,621 You're not just saying that because this is it, are you? 716 01:31:31,338 --> 01:31:35,383 I'm saying it because I'm not afraid to say it any more. 717 01:31:49,649 --> 01:31:52,935 So where do you wanna go on our honeymoon? 718 01:32:14,425 --> 01:32:18,589 Rats! Get out of here, you... Goddamn rat farm! Go on! 719 01:32:18,972 --> 01:32:24,678 - Ralph! Get us out of here, will ya? - Ah! And there's the biggest rat of all. 720 01:32:25,604 --> 01:32:27,680 Colton, look at you. You... 721 01:32:28,649 --> 01:32:31,270 You don't know how many nights I dreamed of this. 722 01:32:31,360 --> 01:32:36,781 - Except your flesh was torn off your body. - Ralph, please, just help us down. 723 01:32:36,866 --> 01:32:38,942 Jack! Hold on! 724 01:32:40,245 --> 01:32:42,996 Well, well, well, Colton. 725 01:32:43,081 --> 01:32:47,542 I think this calls for a renegotiation. Don't you, Tarzan? Huh? 726 01:32:47,627 --> 01:32:50,878 This looks a little bit more like 70-30. 727 01:32:50,964 --> 01:32:55,461 - Or maybe even 80-20. - Ralph, will ya get the rats off that rope?! 728 01:32:56,095 --> 01:33:00,389 - I don't go near rats, buddy. - Ralph, do not be afraid. 729 01:33:01,851 --> 01:33:04,556 Remember the Sufi way: See with your heart. 730 01:33:05,188 --> 01:33:08,972 My heart sees rats, Pop. Don't let this garb fool you. 731 01:33:09,067 --> 01:33:11,309 Come on, Colton. Where's the Jewel? 732 01:33:11,403 --> 01:33:15,732 Ralph, I am the Jewel. The Jewel of the Nile. 733 01:33:15,824 --> 01:33:18,944 And I'm a kumquat from Queens. Pipe down, towel-head! 734 01:33:19,036 --> 01:33:22,203 - Come on, Ralph. - Take the ladder and put it over the well. 735 01:33:22,289 --> 01:33:25,955 - Please, don't let us die! - That's a good idea, Legs. 736 01:33:26,043 --> 01:33:31,465 I ain't gonna let you die, but I ain't movin' no ladder until you come across with the rock! 737 01:33:45,231 --> 01:33:47,769 Lookin' more like 90-10! Huh, kumquat? 738 01:33:49,652 --> 01:33:53,484 - Did you get the ladder all right? - Jack, help me unlock the Jewel. 739 01:33:53,573 --> 01:33:58,282 The Jewel? You mean you weren't shittin' me? That guy really is the Jewel? 740 01:33:58,370 --> 01:34:01,490 Come on. We still got time to stop Omar. Let's go. 741 01:34:02,624 --> 01:34:05,578 Ralph, that is not the Sufi way. 742 01:34:05,669 --> 01:34:10,877 I don't know what got into me, Jewels. Every time I'm around this guy he makes me crazy. 743 01:34:10,966 --> 01:34:15,178 Come on. Tell him to cut me down, Jewels. Come on, huh? 744 01:35:00,353 --> 01:35:04,053 Don't fuck around with the equipment! Bloody woman! 745 01:35:28,174 --> 01:35:30,250 Here they come, Jack. 746 01:35:51,991 --> 01:35:57,152 Oh, my God. Look at this. Looks like Our Lady of Mount Palmer schoolyard. 747 01:35:58,665 --> 01:36:00,574 Hold it! 748 01:36:04,880 --> 01:36:07,585 Excuse me. Pardon me. Coming through. 749 01:36:09,218 --> 01:36:10,878 Oh, Rachid. 750 01:36:10,970 --> 01:36:15,015 How ya doin'? Let's talk this over before you butcher me alive. 751 01:36:15,099 --> 01:36:17,590 What are you getting so steamed about? 752 01:36:20,396 --> 01:36:22,935 Look at that. It worked! 753 01:38:03,298 --> 01:38:05,457 Get over the wall. Come on! 754 01:38:05,842 --> 01:38:07,919 Get goin'. 755 01:38:12,892 --> 01:38:14,968 Keep going. 756 01:38:40,755 --> 01:38:44,206 I knew we'd hook up again, Colton. Get it? 757 01:38:46,970 --> 01:38:49,093 I swear to God! 758 01:38:49,180 --> 01:38:51,257 My right hand to God! 759 01:38:51,349 --> 01:38:53,426 Come on! 760 01:39:34,354 --> 01:39:39,561 I am dead, Miss Wilder. All that will be written for Omar is an epitaph. 761 01:39:39,943 --> 01:39:42,019 But I will not be alone. 762 01:39:51,705 --> 01:39:54,244 Who is going to save you now? 763 01:39:56,919 --> 01:39:58,378 Who? 764 01:40:39,507 --> 01:40:41,583 Well, you got your story. 765 01:40:42,551 --> 01:40:44,628 I got a lot more than that. 766 01:41:08,746 --> 01:41:10,538 You are married! 767 01:41:40,447 --> 01:41:43,152 Always a bridesmaid, never the bride. 768 01:41:43,241 --> 01:41:45,732 As usual, it's zilch for poor Ralphie. 769 01:41:48,664 --> 01:41:50,740 You are Sufi. 770 01:41:52,835 --> 01:41:54,911 Keep it always. 771 01:41:56,297 --> 01:41:58,373 Guys! 772 01:42:00,760 --> 01:42:02,836 Sufis rule! 773 01:45:47,711 --> 01:45:50,202 Subtitles by Visiontext 774 01:46:00,631 --> 01:46:03,551 Ripped by: SkyFury