1
00:01:04,985 --> 00:01:07,044
[IN RUSSIAN]
2
00:01:24,538 --> 00:01:26,506
[IN KOREAN]
3
00:01:27,541 --> 00:01:28,872
[YELLS]
4
00:01:46,860 --> 00:01:49,158
[IN ARABIC]
5
00:01:51,131 --> 00:01:52,996
[IN ARABIC]
6
00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:07,302
[ABBA'S "TAKE A CHANCE ON ME"
PLAYS ON HEADPHONES]
7
00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:39,875
WOMAN: And this display is all that's left
of CONTROL, a secret spy agency...
8
00:02:40,046 --> 00:02:43,743
...which once battled against
the criminal syndicate known as KAOS.
9
00:02:43,917 --> 00:02:46,647
CONTROL was disbanded
at the end of the Cold War.
10
00:02:47,087 --> 00:02:50,079
Okay, up next, an exhibit...
11
00:03:31,398 --> 00:03:33,457
[BEEPING]
12
00:03:56,523 --> 00:04:00,789
Judy, the elevator is still doing that thing
where it drops really fast.
13
00:04:00,961 --> 00:04:02,622
Are you sure Maintenance fixed that?
14
00:04:02,796 --> 00:04:04,127
Let me check.
15
00:04:04,297 --> 00:04:06,060
Yep, they fixed it.
16
00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:09,298
See you later.
17
00:04:12,372 --> 00:04:14,135
- Hey, Max.
MAX: Agent 50.
18
00:04:14,474 --> 00:04:15,498
[FLY BUZZING]
19
00:04:15,675 --> 00:04:17,768
16 floors down,
how'd a fly even get in here?
20
00:04:17,944 --> 00:04:19,309
- Hey, Max.
- Max!
21
00:04:19,479 --> 00:04:20,810
Hey, Larabee, 91.
22
00:04:20,981 --> 00:04:24,542
Yeah, big day. Could be
your last chance to push a pencil.
23
00:04:24,718 --> 00:04:26,549
Field-agent test results are due.
24
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:30,816
Oh. Is that today?
I wasn't really thinking about it.
25
00:04:30,991 --> 00:04:33,425
Can you imagine Max as an agent?
Little suit, little shoes.
26
00:04:33,593 --> 00:04:35,220
[LAUGHING]
27
00:04:35,395 --> 00:04:36,384
Uh-oh. Two-nerd pile-up.
28
00:04:36,563 --> 00:04:37,552
[IMITATES CARS CRASHING]
29
00:04:37,731 --> 00:04:39,860
- Move!
- Ow!
30
00:04:40,033 --> 00:04:42,797
Pretty boys. Nothing but empty suits.
31
00:04:42,969 --> 00:04:45,995
- Good morning, Bruce, Lloyd.
- Why would you wanna be an agent?
32
00:04:46,172 --> 00:04:49,938
I mean, lab guys like us, analysts like you,
we're the real soldiers.
33
00:04:50,110 --> 00:04:52,476
BRUCE: We're the true guardians
of freedom and democracy.
34
00:04:52,646 --> 00:04:55,114
And I hear we're getting
a new cappuccino machine.
35
00:04:55,282 --> 00:04:56,715
No, that's only for agents.
36
00:04:57,317 --> 00:04:58,443
Oh.
37
00:05:10,664 --> 00:05:13,258
MAN:
Hey, Agent 23 is back.
38
00:05:22,542 --> 00:05:24,373
Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
39
00:05:25,078 --> 00:05:26,978
- Welcome back, 23.
- Maxie.
40
00:05:27,147 --> 00:05:29,012
So how was the assassination?
41
00:05:29,182 --> 00:05:31,980
Maxie, you know assassinations
are specifically prohibited...
42
00:05:32,152 --> 00:05:34,017
...by executive order 12333.
43
00:05:35,322 --> 00:05:37,313
[ALL LAUGHING]
44
00:05:37,824 --> 00:05:39,155
23, you kill me.
45
00:05:39,326 --> 00:05:41,556
- I could if I wanted to.
- Yes, you... Oh. Oh!
46
00:05:41,728 --> 00:05:44,253
Did you see that face he made? Scary.
47
00:05:47,267 --> 00:05:50,600
Six months' work. 18 million dollars.
48
00:05:51,971 --> 00:05:53,905
Fricking agents, man.
49
00:05:54,074 --> 00:05:55,405
MAN:
Come on, let's see it.
50
00:05:55,575 --> 00:06:00,376
MAX: A lot of chatter in this region
involves nuclear material.
51
00:06:00,547 --> 00:06:04,074
You may remember
from page 627 of my last report...
52
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:07,048
...that there has been an uptick
in KAOS interest in nukes.
53
00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:09,120
[BEEPING]
54
00:06:09,289 --> 00:06:12,122
To wit, I offer
the following conversation.
55
00:06:12,292 --> 00:06:14,453
What are you doing? Are you texting?
56
00:06:14,627 --> 00:06:17,858
Yeah, letting my fianc�e know
we won't be able to get married in June.
57
00:06:18,031 --> 00:06:19,589
I'll still be in this meeting.
58
00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:22,125
AGENT 23: Can I see that a second?
- Yeah.
59
00:06:22,535 --> 00:06:23,559
That's great.
60
00:06:23,737 --> 00:06:24,726
[CRACKING]
61
00:06:24,904 --> 00:06:26,963
That's weird. You lost your signal.
62
00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:29,108
Sorry to interrupt, Maxie, go ahead.
63
00:06:29,642 --> 00:06:31,872
Next time use your own damn phone.
64
00:06:33,213 --> 00:06:35,306
Good morning, men. No, offense, Karen.
65
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,744
Snappy tie.
66
00:06:36,916 --> 00:06:39,714
Sorry I'm late, but I just came out
of a budget meeting...
67
00:06:39,886 --> 00:06:43,879
...with our incredibly abrasive, dismissive
and sarcastic vice president.
68
00:06:44,057 --> 00:06:45,217
MAX:
It's no problem.
69
00:06:45,392 --> 00:06:50,386
I have obtained a snippet,
at great risk to a busboy in Balahd.
70
00:06:51,965 --> 00:06:53,990
[MAN SPEAKING IN PUNJABI
ON RECORDING]
71
00:06:54,167 --> 00:06:56,397
"Aftab, how is your coffee?"
72
00:06:57,370 --> 00:07:00,237
"Good, Dalip, it's decaf.
73
00:07:01,074 --> 00:07:02,371
How is yours?"
74
00:07:03,576 --> 00:07:05,669
"It is good also.
75
00:07:06,045 --> 00:07:08,377
How is your muffin?"
76
00:07:09,916 --> 00:07:11,281
Powerful stuff.
77
00:07:11,684 --> 00:07:14,118
So "muffin," then, is a code word?
78
00:07:14,287 --> 00:07:15,948
No, it is comfort food...
79
00:07:16,122 --> 00:07:18,989
...and quite frankly, more
fattening than most people realize.
80
00:07:19,159 --> 00:07:20,558
Which begs the question...
81
00:07:20,727 --> 00:07:24,891
...why would two
hardened KAOS agents...
82
00:07:25,064 --> 00:07:27,862
...risk the carbs?
83
00:07:28,868 --> 00:07:31,359
Because they are under
a great deal of stress.
84
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,199
- Hence the decaf.
- For Aftab, yes.
85
00:07:33,373 --> 00:07:35,739
Dalip takes his full-strength. Why?
86
00:07:35,909 --> 00:07:38,707
Because he has been sleeping
on the couch for three days...
87
00:07:38,878 --> 00:07:42,170
...because he called his sister-in-law
a "leathery hag."
88
00:07:42,348 --> 00:07:45,174
People often say things
in anger they don't really mean.
89
00:07:45,351 --> 00:07:49,344
Leathery hag, fat cow, ungrateful whore.
90
00:07:49,522 --> 00:07:54,391
Just words, really, that shouldn't
be used against you in a custody hearing.
91
00:07:54,894 --> 00:07:58,125
Let it go, man. Those kids
don't even look like you.
92
00:07:58,598 --> 00:08:00,225
Can we put a pin in this, please...
93
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,164
...and go back to Max's
extraordinarily detailed report?
94
00:08:03,336 --> 00:08:05,099
Thank you, Chief. All I'm saying is...
95
00:08:05,271 --> 00:08:08,138
...that until we understand
that our enemies are also human...
96
00:08:08,308 --> 00:08:09,969
...we will never defeat them.
97
00:08:10,143 --> 00:08:15,809
Yes, they are bad guys, but that
is what they do, not who they are.
98
00:08:16,115 --> 00:08:17,878
Let's continue listening...
99
00:08:18,051 --> 00:08:21,919
...and bear in mind that the next 100 pages
can get a little bit dry.
100
00:08:22,088 --> 00:08:23,885
MAN:
Come on...
101
00:08:35,468 --> 00:08:38,460
Easy, Durat! This stuff is radioactive.
102
00:08:38,638 --> 00:08:40,606
One slip-up, and it's "ka-fricking-boom!"
103
00:08:40,773 --> 00:08:41,933
MAN:
Shtarker.
104
00:08:43,276 --> 00:08:47,178
This is KAOS.
We don't "ka-fricking-boom" here.
105
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,307
Sorry, Mr. Siegfried.
106
00:08:49,482 --> 00:08:52,918
Get it in the truck,
and let's burn this place to the ground.
107
00:08:53,086 --> 00:08:55,577
But if we have what we want,
why burn the building?
108
00:09:02,962 --> 00:09:05,226
Any more questions?
109
00:09:29,322 --> 00:09:30,448
Missed me!
110
00:09:30,623 --> 00:09:32,318
[LAUGHS]
111
00:09:32,792 --> 00:09:35,886
All right! All right! I'm out!
112
00:09:36,062 --> 00:09:38,053
He was lying, Max. It was a good shot.
113
00:09:38,231 --> 00:09:39,528
Thanks.
114
00:09:39,699 --> 00:09:42,395
I am so sick of training.
I wanna get out in the field.
115
00:09:42,569 --> 00:09:46,335
AGENT 91: Give it up, 23! It's just you
and Maxi-pad against the six of us.
116
00:09:46,506 --> 00:09:49,737
Oh, gee, Maxi-pad,
I've never heard that one before!
117
00:09:50,176 --> 00:09:52,144
I never have actually heard that before.
118
00:09:53,913 --> 00:09:55,540
[YELLS]
119
00:09:59,185 --> 00:10:00,379
23, you're bleeding.
120
00:10:00,853 --> 00:10:04,448
It's a knife wound from the last mission.
My blood gets pumping, it seeps.
121
00:10:04,624 --> 00:10:05,989
LARABEE:
Hey, Maxine!
122
00:10:06,159 --> 00:10:08,889
Come over here
and we'll play a game I like to call:
123
00:10:09,062 --> 00:10:10,927
"Let's Go to the Dog Show."
124
00:10:11,097 --> 00:10:13,224
I put a collar on you
and make you my bi...!
125
00:10:13,399 --> 00:10:14,491
[GUNSHOT]
126
00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:16,464
[LARABEE GROANING]
127
00:10:18,104 --> 00:10:20,273
I think I really got inside his head.
128
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,104
I am not proud of what I just did.
129
00:10:22,275 --> 00:10:23,902
Game over, Chatty Cathy.
130
00:10:25,812 --> 00:10:27,939
[GRUNTING]
131
00:10:29,515 --> 00:10:31,915
Game over when I say it's over.
132
00:10:32,385 --> 00:10:33,875
- Okay.
- Wet willy.
133
00:10:35,688 --> 00:10:37,383
Okay. Who wants lunch?
134
00:10:37,557 --> 00:10:40,924
Well, excellent work, 23,
but I could've handled it my...
135
00:10:41,260 --> 00:10:42,284
[MAN GRUNTS]
136
00:10:42,462 --> 00:10:43,861
[EARS RINGING]
137
00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:47,466
- Max, the Chief wants to see you.
- It is nice to see you too!
138
00:10:54,907 --> 00:10:56,272
You wanted to see me, Chief?
139
00:10:56,442 --> 00:10:58,910
Yes, Max, yes, please, sit down.
140
00:10:59,078 --> 00:11:02,605
Your field-agent test results
just came in and...
141
00:11:04,017 --> 00:11:06,679
- Something wrong with your ear?
- Absolutely not.
142
00:11:06,853 --> 00:11:09,287
Would you like me
to wait while you answer that?
143
00:11:09,455 --> 00:11:10,547
Answer what?
144
00:11:10,723 --> 00:11:12,657
Nothing. You were saying?
145
00:11:12,825 --> 00:11:15,225
I was saying the results
are quite extraordinary.
146
00:11:15,395 --> 00:11:18,387
In fact, your essay on existentialism
was quite amazing.
147
00:11:18,564 --> 00:11:20,088
I left that section blank.
148
00:11:20,266 --> 00:11:22,063
Blank? Brilliant.
149
00:11:22,235 --> 00:11:23,725
Brilliant, Max.
150
00:11:23,903 --> 00:11:26,565
- You passed with flying colors.
- Yes!
151
00:11:26,739 --> 00:11:29,230
You know what, sir?
I can't say that I am shocked.
152
00:11:29,409 --> 00:11:32,139
I felt good about this year's test,
in light of the fact...
153
00:11:32,311 --> 00:11:35,007
...that in previous years,
my fitness has been an issue.
154
00:11:42,522 --> 00:11:43,546
Personal best.
155
00:11:43,723 --> 00:11:46,624
But not anymore. I'm ready for duty.
156
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,920
I know how hard
you've prepared for this...
157
00:11:49,095 --> 00:11:50,892
...and how much this means to you...
158
00:11:51,064 --> 00:11:53,225
...but I'm afraid I can't promote you.
159
00:11:53,399 --> 00:11:56,926
- What?
- I can't afford to give up my best analyst.
160
00:11:57,103 --> 00:12:00,300
I mean, the amount of chatter
you get through, and the reports...
161
00:12:00,473 --> 00:12:02,600
...I mean, they go way beyond
the raw data.
162
00:12:03,309 --> 00:12:09,373
So to be clear, you're not promoting me,
because I do such a great job.
163
00:12:10,216 --> 00:12:13,652
Max, the way you and I work
is becoming a lost art form.
164
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,618
I spend half my days
trying to convince the vice president...
165
00:12:16,789 --> 00:12:19,587
...that intelligence comes
from humans and not satellites.
166
00:12:19,759 --> 00:12:23,195
Men with hunches,
that's where the real work gets done.
167
00:12:23,362 --> 00:12:25,296
I'm very proud of you, Max...
168
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,993
...very proud of you...
169
00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:30,032
...but I need you where you are.
170
00:12:54,026 --> 00:12:56,324
MAX:
I am sorry, but we can never be.
171
00:12:56,496 --> 00:13:00,523
Despite today's setback,
I will at some point become a field agent...
172
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:01,962
...and when that happens...
173
00:13:02,135 --> 00:13:05,400
...one phone call could take me
to the other side of the world.
174
00:13:06,005 --> 00:13:09,839
Who am I kidding? I'm a middle-aged
man who's missed the train.
175
00:13:10,510 --> 00:13:14,139
You don't deserve this.
I don't deserve you.
176
00:13:14,313 --> 00:13:16,781
You're so young and so full of life.
177
00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:18,976
Don't do it, Fang.
178
00:13:19,852 --> 00:13:21,149
Don't love me.
179
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:22,912
[GRUNTING]
180
00:13:23,656 --> 00:13:24,953
MAX:
Here.
181
00:13:25,124 --> 00:13:27,092
- Oh, great.
- Sorry.
182
00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:29,728
That was my last mile.
I have no idea how fast it was.
183
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,228
You were moving.
It's not easy to knock me down.
184
00:13:32,398 --> 00:13:34,628
I have a low center of gravity.
Pretty solid.
185
00:13:34,801 --> 00:13:37,133
I'm just gonna call that one a 4:50.
186
00:13:37,303 --> 00:13:41,296
Impressive. I once ran a 5:16.
187
00:13:41,474 --> 00:13:44,341
Oh, really? That's, uh, slower.
188
00:13:44,510 --> 00:13:46,000
Not everything's a competition.
189
00:13:46,279 --> 00:13:48,008
Well, if it were, I'd win.
190
00:13:48,181 --> 00:13:50,376
Ah. Are you flirting with me?
191
00:13:51,450 --> 00:13:53,543
Not at all. Are you flirting with me?
192
00:13:53,719 --> 00:13:55,482
That depends. Is it working?
193
00:13:56,022 --> 00:13:57,853
Not at all.
194
00:13:58,024 --> 00:14:00,492
Well, nice meeting you!
I admire your focus!
195
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:02,389
[YELLS]
196
00:14:04,096 --> 00:14:05,688
Am I invisible?
197
00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:20,506
[ALARM WAILING]
198
00:14:41,567 --> 00:14:44,365
Bruce, Lloyd, what happened?
199
00:14:44,537 --> 00:14:47,062
And what is that ungodly smell?
200
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:48,737
Fear.
201
00:14:50,476 --> 00:14:51,773
I'll be back.
202
00:14:51,944 --> 00:14:53,379
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
203
00:14:57,917 --> 00:14:59,009
AGENT 99:
Freeze.
204
00:14:59,185 --> 00:15:00,482
Freeze.
205
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,644
- No, you freeze.
- You freeze.
206
00:15:02,822 --> 00:15:04,949
- I told you to freeze.
- Freeze times infinity.
207
00:15:05,124 --> 00:15:06,421
Oh, my God.
208
00:15:07,226 --> 00:15:08,625
- You.
- You.
209
00:15:08,794 --> 00:15:10,591
- Are you CONTROL?
- I'm Maxwell Smart.
210
00:15:10,763 --> 00:15:12,731
I am a CONTROL analyst. Who are you?
211
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,058
I'm Agent 99.
212
00:15:16,235 --> 00:15:19,432
Oh, my word. You are Agent 99?
213
00:15:19,605 --> 00:15:22,335
- I am a huge fan!
- Thank you.
214
00:15:22,508 --> 00:15:24,237
[CLATTERING]
215
00:15:32,885 --> 00:15:34,614
What are you doing?
216
00:15:35,321 --> 00:15:36,811
I'm right here, just talk to me!
217
00:15:36,989 --> 00:15:39,423
I'm going to cause a diversion.
You run and get help.
218
00:15:39,592 --> 00:15:41,560
- I really don't think that that's a...
- Shh.
219
00:15:41,727 --> 00:15:43,661
- Did you just...?
- Shh!
220
00:16:01,847 --> 00:16:03,041
Go, go, go!
221
00:16:03,549 --> 00:16:04,573
MAN 1:
Wait!
222
00:16:07,019 --> 00:16:08,384
MAN 2:
Somebody shut it off!
223
00:16:16,362 --> 00:16:19,126
MAX: Good, 23, just in time.
I think I got one of them.
224
00:16:21,167 --> 00:16:22,759
Is that the Chief?
225
00:16:24,203 --> 00:16:25,830
AGENT 99:
Yes, it is.
226
00:16:26,005 --> 00:16:27,233
Sorry about that, Chief.
227
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,831
Is that a dent in his head?
228
00:16:39,485 --> 00:16:41,817
[WHISTLES]
229
00:16:46,726 --> 00:16:48,421
Hi. Hi.
230
00:16:48,594 --> 00:16:51,427
Agent 13, you are in a tree.
231
00:16:51,597 --> 00:16:54,862
Yeah, communications got knocked down,
so they put me in a tree.
232
00:16:55,034 --> 00:16:57,025
- Old-school stuff.
- Glad to see you're okay.
233
00:16:57,203 --> 00:16:58,227
Yeah, yeah.
234
00:16:58,771 --> 00:17:02,104
Well, I have to get going.
Would you raise up the walkway, please?
235
00:17:02,274 --> 00:17:04,572
You don't have to get going.
You don't have to go.
236
00:17:04,744 --> 00:17:05,938
Yeah, I've got a meeting.
237
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,704
- How you been?
- I've been well.
238
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,610
- Everything good?
- It's great. Well, I gotta...
239
00:17:10,783 --> 00:17:12,375
Could you come back this way?
240
00:17:13,586 --> 00:17:15,247
Yeah, yeah, I think I will.
241
00:17:15,588 --> 00:17:16,919
What time?
242
00:17:17,390 --> 00:17:19,915
Well... Mm.
243
00:17:20,326 --> 00:17:22,055
I get it.
244
00:17:23,162 --> 00:17:25,153
Who wants to talk to a guy in a tree?
245
00:17:25,331 --> 00:17:26,628
I get it.
246
00:17:27,733 --> 00:17:30,531
Hang in there.
Don't cry, don't... Please don't cry.
247
00:17:41,113 --> 00:17:43,206
[BEEPING]
248
00:17:51,557 --> 00:17:53,650
CHIEF:
Okay. Let's get started.
249
00:17:53,826 --> 00:17:56,488
You'll have to bear with me,
I'm still a little fuzzy.
250
00:17:56,662 --> 00:17:59,130
I got a pretty good
hit in the head yesterday.
251
00:17:59,298 --> 00:18:03,291
Yes, it was dark in there.
You probably tripped.
252
00:18:03,469 --> 00:18:06,529
I hurt my knee. It was smoky too.
253
00:18:07,973 --> 00:18:10,032
CHIEF:
All right, here's what we know.
254
00:18:10,209 --> 00:18:13,007
Wait. Chief, I request
the cone of silence.
255
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:16,910
Max, not the cone of silence.
We're in a safe room, for God's sakes.
256
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:18,675
We thought CONTROL was safe.
257
00:18:19,452 --> 00:18:20,783
Okay. Lloyd.
258
00:18:24,723 --> 00:18:28,557
CHIEF: Okay, we have reason to believe
that our security was breached by KAOS.
259
00:18:28,727 --> 00:18:30,991
- You have to speak up.
CHIEF: Can you hear me?
260
00:18:31,163 --> 00:18:32,994
- I'm not hearing anyone.
- What?
261
00:18:33,165 --> 00:18:35,099
CHIEF: Can you hear me?
AGENT 99: What did you say?
262
00:18:35,267 --> 00:18:37,827
- Bruce, it's not working.
- It's not working!
263
00:18:39,105 --> 00:18:41,903
Chief! I hit you in the head
with a fire extinguisher!
264
00:18:42,074 --> 00:18:44,042
No, no, no, we're not ready yet.
265
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,144
LARABEE:
Okay. All right.
266
00:18:46,312 --> 00:18:48,576
- It doesn't work, get rid of it.
- Turn it off.
267
00:18:48,747 --> 00:18:51,341
This thing is no good.
It's a useless piece of garbage.
268
00:18:51,517 --> 00:18:53,678
- Turn it off!
- Larabee, you all right?
269
00:18:53,853 --> 00:18:55,787
Larabee wants out!
270
00:18:58,724 --> 00:19:00,351
[YELLS]
271
00:19:00,526 --> 00:19:03,324
Today's the day, and we're gonna
get rid of this damn thing.
272
00:19:03,496 --> 00:19:06,090
LARABEE: That is cold. That's cold.
AGENT 91: All right, easy.
273
00:19:06,265 --> 00:19:07,892
CHIEF:
All right, are we done?
274
00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:09,432
Yep. I can hear now.
275
00:19:09,602 --> 00:19:12,696
Sorry, Chief, someone led me to believe
the cone was ready.
276
00:19:12,872 --> 00:19:15,568
For the record, I never actually
used the word "ready."
277
00:19:15,741 --> 00:19:18,301
"I'll show them the cone.
The cone's the shizzle."
278
00:19:18,477 --> 00:19:19,876
- You said that to me.
- All right, shut up.
279
00:19:20,579 --> 00:19:21,603
Listen up, people.
280
00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:24,112
There's been a rash of thefts
of nuclear material...
281
00:19:24,283 --> 00:19:26,717
...especially yellowcake,
over the last three months.
282
00:19:26,886 --> 00:19:31,516
Now, based on Max's intel, we were
able to get Agent 38 inside KAOS.
283
00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:33,885
We must've been close
to uncovering something...
284
00:19:34,059 --> 00:19:35,890
...so KAOS hit us and they hit us hard.
285
00:19:36,061 --> 00:19:37,852
They hacked our system...
286
00:19:38,030 --> 00:19:40,730
...and learned the identities
of all our field agents.
287
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:42,959
Around the world
our people are under attack.
288
00:19:43,135 --> 00:19:45,194
[DARTS WHIZZING]
289
00:19:50,342 --> 00:19:54,039
Our only lead is the maker of the bomb
KAOS used against us.
290
00:19:54,213 --> 00:19:55,737
Vladimir Krs...
291
00:19:55,915 --> 00:19:57,849
- It's pronounced "Krstic," sir.
- Yes...
292
00:19:58,017 --> 00:19:59,041
[MUMBLES]
293
00:19:59,218 --> 00:20:00,583
MAX:
Krstic.
294
00:20:00,753 --> 00:20:01,913
[MUMBLES]
295
00:20:02,087 --> 00:20:06,421
Yes. He is a Bosnian national, and one
of KAOS' favorite munitions suppliers.
296
00:20:06,592 --> 00:20:09,390
Unfortunately, we have no idea
where he is.
297
00:20:09,562 --> 00:20:11,689
Actually, sir, we do. He is in Russia.
298
00:20:11,864 --> 00:20:14,890
- How do you know that?
- It was on page 482 of my report.
299
00:20:17,236 --> 00:20:18,863
Doesn't anybody read my reports?
300
00:20:20,105 --> 00:20:23,563
All right, our mission is clear, people.
Find Krs...
301
00:20:23,742 --> 00:20:25,334
- Krstic.
- Yes. Find him!
302
00:20:25,511 --> 00:20:27,502
- Kris Kringle. Fish stick.
CHIEF: Yes, Krs...
303
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,272
- Okay, I got it, I got it.
MAX: Krstic.
304
00:20:29,448 --> 00:20:33,043
Use him to get to KAOS,
then recover the stolen nuclear material...
305
00:20:33,219 --> 00:20:35,653
...before they can do something
less than friendly...
306
00:20:35,821 --> 00:20:39,780
...and maybe, if we're lucky,
we can apprehend the man behind it all...
307
00:20:39,959 --> 00:20:41,051
...Siegfried.
308
00:20:41,227 --> 00:20:44,128
Pictured here with his
number two man, Shtarker.
309
00:20:44,296 --> 00:20:47,129
How are we gonna do that
when our agents are compromised?
310
00:20:47,299 --> 00:20:50,166
Put me out there, Chief.
I'm not afraid to expose myself.
311
00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:52,395
Do you ever think before you speak?
312
00:20:52,571 --> 00:20:54,971
No, I just whip it out there.
It's what's best.
313
00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:56,801
Fortunately, we have other options.
314
00:20:56,976 --> 00:21:01,743
99 recently underwent massive plastic
surgery, so her new face is not known yet.
315
00:21:01,914 --> 00:21:04,849
We also have a new agent, Agent 86.
316
00:21:05,017 --> 00:21:06,279
Who's that, sir?
317
00:21:06,452 --> 00:21:08,079
It's you, Max.
318
00:21:09,888 --> 00:21:11,515
All right, Maxie.
319
00:21:12,791 --> 00:21:13,815
You did it.
320
00:21:15,761 --> 00:21:17,524
Lloyd, may I have the C.O.S. please?
321
00:21:22,334 --> 00:21:23,528
I'm so happy!
322
00:21:23,702 --> 00:21:27,798
I'm so happy!
This is the best day of my life!
323
00:21:30,042 --> 00:21:33,478
Max, you didn't push
the button hard enough.
324
00:21:33,646 --> 00:21:36,137
- So you could hear me?
BRUCE: Yes.
325
00:21:36,949 --> 00:21:39,315
- Right.
AGENT 99: Excuse me, Chief, just a thought.
326
00:21:39,485 --> 00:21:43,421
- I'm not questioning your judgment...
MAX: 99, I insist on complete honesty.
327
00:21:43,589 --> 00:21:46,615
If you have something to say to me,
I wish you would just say it.
328
00:21:46,792 --> 00:21:49,124
Max has no experience.
I don't want him as my partner.
329
00:21:49,295 --> 00:21:52,696
Well, that is a sucker punch
to the gonads.
330
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:59,136
Hey, Max. We got you a lovely
parting gift for your first mission.
331
00:21:59,305 --> 00:22:01,569
Oh, a pocketknife.
332
00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:04,072
Not just a pocketknife, Swiss Army knife.
333
00:22:04,243 --> 00:22:06,734
Comes with tweezers, pliers,
a tiny magnifying glass.
334
00:22:06,912 --> 00:22:10,075
Fish scaler, a saw, a flamethrower,
chisel, a wire-crimping tool.
335
00:22:10,249 --> 00:22:12,114
- What was that thing you said?
- Chisel?
336
00:22:12,284 --> 00:22:14,047
Before that.
Did you say flamethrower?
337
00:22:14,219 --> 00:22:15,550
- Yeah.
- Check it.
338
00:22:18,190 --> 00:22:20,351
We also added a crossbow
that fires harpoons...
339
00:22:20,526 --> 00:22:24,257
...connected to spider-silk nano-thread.
Has the strength of steel cable.
340
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:26,921
It's a time-consuming,
labor-intensive technology.
341
00:22:27,099 --> 00:22:29,226
The spiders
have to be individually milked.
342
00:22:29,401 --> 00:22:31,369
And they do not like it.
343
00:22:31,537 --> 00:22:32,868
No, they don't.
344
00:22:33,038 --> 00:22:35,006
Gentlemen, you're the best.
345
00:22:35,507 --> 00:22:36,531
Thanks.
346
00:22:53,592 --> 00:22:55,992
WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
while you are in your seats...
347
00:22:56,161 --> 00:22:58,356
...please keep your seatbelts fastened.
348
00:22:59,264 --> 00:23:01,858
I feel really good about us as partners.
349
00:23:02,034 --> 00:23:03,729
23 says that's important.
350
00:23:04,470 --> 00:23:07,098
"Trust is a must." That's what 23 says.
351
00:23:07,272 --> 00:23:08,296
Does he?
352
00:23:08,474 --> 00:23:11,466
You and I share a bond, I think.
353
00:23:11,643 --> 00:23:15,807
We both know what it feels like to look
in the mirror and not like what we see.
354
00:23:15,981 --> 00:23:18,779
You with the surgery,
me with the weight loss.
355
00:23:19,051 --> 00:23:21,042
I wanna show you something.
356
00:23:25,224 --> 00:23:26,316
That was me.
357
00:23:26,492 --> 00:23:28,392
AGENT 99:
Wow, impressive.
358
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,221
Congratulations.
359
00:23:30,396 --> 00:23:31,886
Thank you.
360
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:37,435
This is me.
361
00:23:38,270 --> 00:23:39,999
MAX:
Wow.
362
00:23:40,172 --> 00:23:42,072
Very impressive, 99.
363
00:23:42,775 --> 00:23:45,335
You were truly hideous back then.
364
00:23:47,913 --> 00:23:50,438
Since we are going
to be portraying husband and wife...
365
00:23:50,616 --> 00:23:52,982
...maybe we should get our story set.
366
00:23:53,318 --> 00:23:54,808
Okay, good idea.
367
00:23:56,688 --> 00:24:01,182
We met at a marketing convention in Vegas.
Married a year later. No kids.
368
00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:03,260
I like your parents, but you hate mine.
369
00:24:03,429 --> 00:24:04,794
Do we want kids?
370
00:24:04,963 --> 00:24:07,830
Well, you do,
but I'm concentrating on my career.
371
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,764
I don't know if that's fair.
I mean, I'm older than you are.
372
00:24:10,936 --> 00:24:13,962
- Well, not by much.
- Really?
373
00:24:15,541 --> 00:24:18,874
When they gave me a new face,
I had them...
374
00:24:19,711 --> 00:24:21,804
...take a couple years off.
375
00:24:21,980 --> 00:24:23,470
You know, why not?
376
00:24:24,316 --> 00:24:29,015
Well, if that's the case, then you are
at an advanced age, and you should be...
377
00:24:29,188 --> 00:24:30,985
Well, no. I was never...
378
00:24:31,156 --> 00:24:35,354
I'm just saying that your eggs could dry up
and fall out of your uterus.
379
00:24:35,527 --> 00:24:37,893
So time is of the essence.
380
00:24:38,997 --> 00:24:41,966
- That's your opinion.
- No, that is a medical fact.
381
00:24:42,134 --> 00:24:44,830
There is a lot of time
for me to make this decision.
382
00:24:45,003 --> 00:24:47,403
I will not be rushed into it
by you or my mother.
383
00:24:47,573 --> 00:24:50,007
- You don't have much time.
- Where is the drink cart?
384
00:24:54,713 --> 00:24:55,702
Uh-oh.
385
00:24:55,881 --> 00:24:57,644
- What?
- Six o'clock.
386
00:24:58,517 --> 00:25:02,112
Don't turn around, don't turn around.
Use your peripherals.
387
00:25:06,558 --> 00:25:07,889
Do you see him?
388
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,425
I'm just widening my eyes.
I'm not actually seeing anything more.
389
00:25:11,597 --> 00:25:14,031
The big guy that might as well
be holding up a sign:
390
00:25:14,199 --> 00:25:15,996
"I'm an assassin, here to kill you."
391
00:25:16,168 --> 00:25:18,568
Okay, 99, you know what?
That is profiling.
392
00:25:18,737 --> 00:25:23,367
Just because he is large doesn't
necessarily mean that he is a bad guy.
393
00:25:25,277 --> 00:25:27,837
Oh. Wow.
394
00:25:28,013 --> 00:25:31,107
That's a bad guy.
That's a really bad guy.
395
00:25:31,283 --> 00:25:33,046
- You don't say.
- Did you see his face?
396
00:25:33,218 --> 00:25:34,242
Yes.
397
00:25:34,419 --> 00:25:37,786
His head looks like
one of the Easter Island heads.
398
00:25:40,025 --> 00:25:42,016
You know what?
I'm doing the same thing.
399
00:25:42,194 --> 00:25:45,061
That's profiling,
and I will have none of it.
400
00:25:45,230 --> 00:25:49,064
Darn it, I have gum on my new shoes.
401
00:25:54,072 --> 00:25:56,404
- He's trying to light his shoe.
MAN: It's a shoe bomb!
402
00:25:56,575 --> 00:25:57,837
- Get him!
- It's gum.
403
00:25:58,010 --> 00:26:01,502
- He's got a gun!
- Not... Gum! Not... No! Gum!
404
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,910
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
405
00:26:04,716 --> 00:26:06,274
Gum!
406
00:26:06,451 --> 00:26:08,476
Federal marshal, you're under arrest.
407
00:26:08,654 --> 00:26:12,055
Sir, I believe you just shattered
my coccyx.
408
00:26:13,358 --> 00:26:16,088
MAN [OVER SPEAKER]: Folks, we may
be experiencing a little turbulence.
409
00:26:16,261 --> 00:26:18,821
The "fasten seatbelt" sign
has been turned on.
410
00:26:20,666 --> 00:26:23,430
Well, you were no help whatsoever.
411
00:26:23,602 --> 00:26:27,299
How could I help?
I'm just a woman with a dusty old uterus.
412
00:26:27,472 --> 00:26:29,770
I never said dusty.
413
00:26:30,409 --> 00:26:32,468
We're close to the drop site.
I'll go first.
414
00:26:32,644 --> 00:26:35,670
- Gonna be all right with your cuffs?
- No cuffs can contain me.
415
00:26:37,482 --> 00:26:39,473
Excuse me, violent sky marshal.
416
00:26:40,419 --> 00:26:41,647
What do you want?
417
00:26:41,820 --> 00:26:43,287
I have to squeeze the lemon.
418
00:26:43,455 --> 00:26:44,945
MAN:
Ugh.
419
00:26:45,424 --> 00:26:46,823
MAX:
You heard me.
420
00:26:46,992 --> 00:26:49,187
Squeeze the lemon.
421
00:27:02,307 --> 00:27:05,708
- Do you work out?
- Occasionally.
422
00:27:05,877 --> 00:27:08,038
Yeah, I'm big on protein. Protein's great.
423
00:27:19,091 --> 00:27:20,991
[GROANING]
424
00:27:21,159 --> 00:27:24,026
I gotta get it out. I gotta get that out!
425
00:27:24,196 --> 00:27:25,823
[MAX GROANING]
426
00:27:25,998 --> 00:27:28,899
That's in there, that's in there.
427
00:27:37,676 --> 00:27:39,337
No time for pain.
428
00:27:39,511 --> 00:27:41,206
Over the drop zone.
429
00:27:45,917 --> 00:27:47,248
[YELLS]
430
00:27:47,419 --> 00:27:49,250
Ball sack!
431
00:27:58,730 --> 00:28:00,357
Son of a hamster.
432
00:28:00,532 --> 00:28:02,762
MARSHAL: You all right in there?
- Yeah. Yes, I am.
433
00:28:03,035 --> 00:28:04,195
Everything's fine.
434
00:28:04,369 --> 00:28:06,428
Mother of pearl!
435
00:28:13,779 --> 00:28:15,337
That burns!
436
00:28:15,514 --> 00:28:16,845
Last chance.
437
00:28:20,419 --> 00:28:24,116
WOMAN [ON RECORDING]:
Airlock activated. Three, two, one.
438
00:28:25,424 --> 00:28:27,688
[SCREAMS]
439
00:28:28,694 --> 00:28:30,525
First package away.
440
00:28:38,103 --> 00:28:40,037
Absolutely, I love cats.
441
00:28:40,205 --> 00:28:41,229
- Really?
- Yeah.
442
00:28:47,412 --> 00:28:48,879
Damn.
443
00:29:02,461 --> 00:29:04,292
Second package away.
444
00:29:09,501 --> 00:29:11,935
[MAX YELLING]
445
00:29:22,814 --> 00:29:24,748
Oh, good, you heard me.
446
00:29:27,619 --> 00:29:29,484
Third package away.
447
00:29:30,589 --> 00:29:31,613
Third package?
448
00:29:37,863 --> 00:29:39,990
99, Easter Island.
449
00:29:42,567 --> 00:29:43,693
[YELLS]
450
00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:45,427
[FABRIC TEARS]
451
00:29:47,205 --> 00:29:52,040
- I'll be right back!
- Where could you possibly be going?
452
00:30:12,697 --> 00:30:14,164
[YELLING]
453
00:30:17,035 --> 00:30:20,266
Okay, never do that again!
454
00:30:20,438 --> 00:30:22,463
AGENT 99: Stop hanging on me!
MAX: Never! Stop it!
455
00:30:28,814 --> 00:30:32,477
AGENT 99: Max, I can't reach my reserve!
Do something!
456
00:30:38,490 --> 00:30:39,980
[LAUGHS]
457
00:30:40,158 --> 00:30:42,524
That would have definitely
worked on me.
458
00:30:42,694 --> 00:30:47,063
Are you crazy?
If I can't pull my chute, you'll die too!
459
00:31:07,252 --> 00:31:08,913
MAX: Aim for the haystack.
AGENT 99: Stop talking.
460
00:31:09,087 --> 00:31:11,851
- Aim for the haystack, it's softer.
- Stop talking!
461
00:31:13,625 --> 00:31:15,024
MAX:
You missed it.
462
00:31:16,595 --> 00:31:18,654
[IN RUSSIAN]
463
00:31:43,288 --> 00:31:45,916
MAX:
Okay, not to keep dwelling on this...
464
00:31:46,091 --> 00:31:48,423
...but that was some kiss.
465
00:31:48,593 --> 00:31:50,117
How did you know that would work?
466
00:31:50,295 --> 00:31:52,957
Have you kissed other men
who plummeted to their deaths?
467
00:31:53,131 --> 00:31:54,155
Okay, you know what?
468
00:31:54,332 --> 00:31:58,735
So far, our entire partnership has consisted
of me getting you out of trouble.
469
00:31:58,904 --> 00:32:01,168
Do you know why?
It is because you keep leading.
470
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,801
So here's how we stop that. I lead now.
471
00:32:03,975 --> 00:32:06,102
I'm the one with experience.
You know nothing.
472
00:32:06,444 --> 00:32:07,968
I beg to differ.
473
00:32:08,146 --> 00:32:10,842
I looked up your field agent exam,
and I scored...
474
00:32:11,016 --> 00:32:13,007
- My what?
- Your field agent exam.
475
00:32:13,184 --> 00:32:14,947
I scored eight points higher than you.
476
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:16,212
This is not a classroom.
477
00:32:16,388 --> 00:32:18,913
That's the difference between
an A plus and an A minus.
478
00:32:19,090 --> 00:32:22,821
- You'll get us killed if you don't listen!
- A minus!
479
00:32:23,595 --> 00:32:26,428
Okay, you're faced with an assassin.
What do you do?
480
00:32:26,598 --> 00:32:30,034
- I take out my gun, and I would shoot...
- You don't have a gun.
481
00:32:30,201 --> 00:32:31,964
- I did until you took it.
- Bang. You're dead.
482
00:32:32,137 --> 00:32:33,365
- No, I'm not.
- Bang. You're dead.
483
00:32:33,538 --> 00:32:34,800
- Stop shooting me.
- You are dead.
484
00:32:34,973 --> 00:32:36,941
- I don't like it when you shoot me.
- Bang. Bang. Bang.
485
00:32:37,108 --> 00:32:38,268
- Stop it.
- Bang. Bang.
486
00:32:38,443 --> 00:32:41,606
Stop shooting me more.
You already said I was... Hey.
487
00:32:42,113 --> 00:32:43,637
Throw out your manual.
488
00:32:43,815 --> 00:32:47,216
Out here there are no grades,
there's only dead, and not dead.
489
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:52,347
You know, I am not completely
incompetent without a gun.
490
00:32:52,524 --> 00:32:55,550
I am a master in the art of Hwa Rang Do.
491
00:32:57,195 --> 00:32:58,719
[GRUNTS]
492
00:32:58,897 --> 00:33:01,024
- I was not ready.
- That's my point.
493
00:33:01,199 --> 00:33:02,496
Yeah, you know what? That...
494
00:33:02,667 --> 00:33:04,828
Hey, what was that?
495
00:33:09,908 --> 00:33:13,639
Max is halfway to Moscow. Don't tell me
you're still translating that Russian.
496
00:33:13,812 --> 00:33:15,370
They talk fast, it's hard.
497
00:33:16,514 --> 00:33:19,039
BRUCE: It takes like eight of these morons
to do what Max did.
498
00:33:19,217 --> 00:33:21,412
I can't wait till we finish
the Hymie project.
499
00:33:21,586 --> 00:33:23,611
All these stupid agents will be obsolete.
500
00:33:23,788 --> 00:33:25,278
- Bye-bye.
- What's a Hymie?
501
00:33:25,457 --> 00:33:28,551
Hybrid Mechanical Intelligence Entity.
Basically a robot.
502
00:33:28,727 --> 00:33:30,661
It's a stolen KAOS technology.
503
00:33:30,829 --> 00:33:33,229
Being reprogrammed. Top-secret.
Need-to-know.
504
00:33:33,398 --> 00:33:35,093
And you don't need.
505
00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:38,765
I'm a trained killer.
I can kill you with anything in this office.
506
00:33:38,937 --> 00:33:41,906
You wanna die by Post-its?
Because I could make that happen.
507
00:33:42,073 --> 00:33:43,768
And that's a slow death.
508
00:33:45,276 --> 00:33:46,607
AGENT 23: Larabee.
- Yeah.
509
00:33:46,778 --> 00:33:48,507
- Were you the last one to use the copier?
- Yeah.
510
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:49,840
You left it jammed.
511
00:33:50,015 --> 00:33:52,347
So? Why don't you...
512
00:33:52,717 --> 00:33:54,014
...unjam it?
513
00:33:54,185 --> 00:33:57,177
- Just open the door, read the instructions.
- This your stapler?
514
00:33:57,355 --> 00:33:59,915
- Yeah, want me to show you how to use it?
- No.
515
00:34:01,659 --> 00:34:02,683
Unjam that.
516
00:34:02,861 --> 00:34:04,089
- 23.
- Yes.
517
00:34:04,262 --> 00:34:06,787
- Can I have a moment, please?
- Sure.
518
00:34:07,432 --> 00:34:08,626
Yes, Chief.
519
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,963
Let me tell you about a pattern
that's beginning to emerge.
520
00:34:12,137 --> 00:34:14,332
As a former field agent,
I'm very much aware...
521
00:34:14,506 --> 00:34:17,600
...of how difficult it is
to make the transition to office life.
522
00:34:17,776 --> 00:34:19,300
He didn't unjam the copier.
523
00:34:19,477 --> 00:34:22,742
We have rules here. If you don't
follow the rules, then what are we?
524
00:34:22,914 --> 00:34:27,078
I'll tell you what we're not. We're not
people who jam staples into people's heads.
525
00:34:27,252 --> 00:34:28,879
That's CIA crap.
526
00:34:29,054 --> 00:34:31,249
All right, look, Chief, I'm your best guy.
527
00:34:31,423 --> 00:34:34,915
I don't belong in an office making copies.
I should be out there with Max.
528
00:34:35,093 --> 00:34:37,527
Look, 23, no more stapling today.
529
00:34:37,695 --> 00:34:38,787
[LARABEE GROANING]
530
00:34:38,963 --> 00:34:40,260
Just hold on.
531
00:34:46,604 --> 00:34:48,663
So how do you know this place?
532
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,138
Well, as an analyst,
I like to keep my ears open.
533
00:34:51,309 --> 00:34:52,708
It's amazing what you learn...
534
00:34:52,877 --> 00:34:56,677
...listening to chatter.
In fact, Ladislas Krstic loves this place.
535
00:34:56,848 --> 00:35:01,785
As do many KAOS agents.
Caf� Minsk-Pinsk in Smolensk.
536
00:35:01,953 --> 00:35:04,148
It doesn't get any better than "thinsk."
537
00:35:05,523 --> 00:35:07,491
You see what I just did?
538
00:35:07,659 --> 00:35:10,287
I added an "insk" at the end,
made it sound Russian.
539
00:35:10,462 --> 00:35:12,020
Should've smacked you harder.
540
00:35:12,197 --> 00:35:13,528
Is that your default setting?
541
00:35:13,698 --> 00:35:16,166
Do you just punch people
in the face willy-nilly?
542
00:35:16,334 --> 00:35:18,302
"It's Tuesday,
I'll punch Max in the face."
543
00:35:18,470 --> 00:35:21,166
"A box of kittens,
time to punch Max in the face."
544
00:35:21,339 --> 00:35:23,671
"I'm having bread,
time to punch Max in the face."
545
00:35:23,842 --> 00:35:25,366
You know, I love bread...
546
00:35:25,543 --> 00:35:27,875
...and I know bread
has a few carbs, but...
547
00:35:28,046 --> 00:35:30,105
...l've never really been afraid of carbs...
548
00:35:30,281 --> 00:35:34,718
...because it seems like no matter
how many I eat, I stay "thinsk."
549
00:35:43,328 --> 00:35:45,956
[IN RUSSIAN]
550
00:35:49,968 --> 00:35:52,163
I'm sorry, are you talking to me?
551
00:35:52,337 --> 00:35:54,066
No sprechen Sie Russian.
552
00:35:55,540 --> 00:35:57,974
[URINATING]
553
00:35:58,877 --> 00:36:00,367
[IN RUSSIAN]
554
00:36:03,248 --> 00:36:04,738
[STOPS URINATING]
555
00:36:04,916 --> 00:36:06,781
[URINATING]
556
00:36:08,953 --> 00:36:11,114
[STOPS URINATING]
557
00:36:11,289 --> 00:36:13,348
[URINATING]
558
00:36:14,826 --> 00:36:16,191
[STOPS URINATING]
559
00:36:16,361 --> 00:36:18,329
[URINATING]
560
00:36:23,301 --> 00:36:24,598
[STOPS URINATING]
561
00:36:24,769 --> 00:36:26,999
[URINATING]
562
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:30,907
[STOPS URINATING]
563
00:36:31,075 --> 00:36:32,474
[URINATING]
564
00:36:36,214 --> 00:36:37,977
[TOILET FLUSHES]
565
00:36:38,149 --> 00:36:41,118
MAX: Boy, you know what? I will tell you,
I love your country.
566
00:36:41,286 --> 00:36:44,585
No more Communism.
No rules of any kind, really.
567
00:36:44,756 --> 00:36:48,419
I'm filling my suitcase with steroids
and art from ancient Mesopotamia.
568
00:36:48,593 --> 00:36:52,222
Ran over an old woman yesterday.
Best vacation I've ever had.
569
00:36:52,397 --> 00:36:54,627
[WATCH BEEPING]
570
00:36:55,934 --> 00:36:57,925
Time to take my pill.
571
00:37:04,409 --> 00:37:06,741
There was a guy in the bathroom
who's really hot.
572
00:37:08,379 --> 00:37:09,903
Okay...
573
00:37:10,081 --> 00:37:12,208
No, no, no. Radioactive hot.
574
00:37:12,383 --> 00:37:15,648
Although he did have a certain
rugged quality that some find appealing.
575
00:37:15,820 --> 00:37:17,788
How did you know he was radioactive?
576
00:37:18,156 --> 00:37:21,648
My watch is a Geiger counter.
You don't have one of these? Huh.
577
00:37:22,093 --> 00:37:25,062
Listen, I think he was part
of the nuclear theft in Chechnya.
578
00:37:25,230 --> 00:37:26,424
We should follow him.
579
00:37:26,598 --> 00:37:28,225
AGENT 99:
I gotta say, Max...
580
00:37:28,967 --> 00:37:30,434
...you picked a good restaurant.
581
00:38:08,439 --> 00:38:09,531
MAX:
Of course.
582
00:38:10,341 --> 00:38:11,774
Tripe soup.
583
00:38:11,943 --> 00:38:15,037
- This must be Ladislas Krstic's house.
- What?
584
00:38:15,213 --> 00:38:18,774
Tripe soup is his favorite dish.
It was in the mission dossier.
585
00:38:18,950 --> 00:38:21,043
Let's just see what we're
up against, okay?
586
00:38:22,820 --> 00:38:25,220
[WRAPPER CRINKLING]
587
00:38:29,627 --> 00:38:31,618
I didn't get to eat at the restaurant.
588
00:38:31,796 --> 00:38:34,993
And if you skip a meal,
the next meal you overindulge.
589
00:38:35,166 --> 00:38:37,225
- Well, let me. I've got nails.
- It's a recipe for...
590
00:38:37,402 --> 00:38:38,994
[SPLASHES]
591
00:38:39,170 --> 00:38:40,501
You owe me $3.
592
00:38:42,373 --> 00:38:45,536
AGENT 99: More guards.
We'll have to figure out a way in.
593
00:38:51,449 --> 00:38:52,473
Miniature blowgun.
594
00:38:52,650 --> 00:38:54,845
You don't have one of these?
595
00:38:55,019 --> 00:38:59,080
These darts are tipped with a tranquilizer
derived from the skin of a lizard...
596
00:38:59,257 --> 00:39:01,384
...known as los zapatos de la muerte.
597
00:39:01,559 --> 00:39:02,651
"The shoes of death."
598
00:39:03,561 --> 00:39:04,858
Excuse me.
599
00:39:05,396 --> 00:39:08,593
They're 40 yards out,
that's definitely the edge of my range.
600
00:39:08,766 --> 00:39:12,429
I'm going to have to give this one
a little something extra.
601
00:39:12,603 --> 00:39:14,127
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
602
00:39:14,305 --> 00:39:15,795
[CHOKES]
603
00:39:16,574 --> 00:39:18,303
[THUDS]
604
00:39:28,152 --> 00:39:29,676
Wow.
605
00:39:29,854 --> 00:39:31,412
You look spectacular.
606
00:39:31,589 --> 00:39:32,715
Thanks.
607
00:39:33,024 --> 00:39:34,855
You don't look too bad yourself.
608
00:39:36,127 --> 00:39:37,389
Is that a wig?
609
00:39:37,562 --> 00:39:39,086
Yeah, it came with the dress.
610
00:39:39,764 --> 00:39:43,791
- How did I get into these clothes?
- That's not important. Let's go.
611
00:39:47,071 --> 00:39:48,368
Am I wearing boxers?
612
00:39:51,409 --> 00:39:54,640
For future reference,
I usually prefer briefs...
613
00:39:54,812 --> 00:39:57,246
...for their security and peace of mind.
614
00:39:57,415 --> 00:39:59,747
Going free-bird is not exactly ideal.
615
00:40:00,084 --> 00:40:01,745
I don't like it.
616
00:40:13,698 --> 00:40:15,290
[BAND PLAYING WALTZ]
617
00:40:17,635 --> 00:40:19,569
There must be 200 people here.
618
00:40:19,737 --> 00:40:22,831
Finding Krstic will be like
finding a needle in a haystack.
619
00:40:23,307 --> 00:40:26,208
[IN RUSSIAN]
620
00:40:29,914 --> 00:40:31,575
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
621
00:40:31,749 --> 00:40:33,011
I'd love to dance.
622
00:40:33,184 --> 00:40:37,143
English? But you understand Russian?
Very impressive.
623
00:40:37,822 --> 00:40:39,414
Shall we?
624
00:40:40,258 --> 00:40:41,953
I hope your date doesn't mind.
625
00:40:42,126 --> 00:40:44,026
AGENT 99:
Oh, he's not my date.
626
00:40:44,195 --> 00:40:47,358
He's just a local horse groomer
I hired to drive me around.
627
00:40:47,532 --> 00:40:51,525
It's a tragic story. He's quite deaf.
Really not bright.
628
00:40:52,470 --> 00:40:56,031
I am going to dance now.
629
00:40:56,340 --> 00:41:00,276
You go get yourself some punch.
630
00:41:01,512 --> 00:41:02,945
Okay.
631
00:41:04,182 --> 00:41:06,650
I don't even know
how much gets through.
632
00:41:15,526 --> 00:41:17,016
Chief, I need your help.
633
00:41:17,195 --> 00:41:18,526
You're on. Go ahead.
634
00:41:18,696 --> 00:41:19,822
MAX:
We have found Krstic.
635
00:41:19,997 --> 00:41:22,557
I searched his house.
I can't find his computer network.
636
00:41:22,733 --> 00:41:24,362
Get me an infrared satellite scan.
637
00:41:24,535 --> 00:41:27,629
I have to get back to 99,
she is in grave danger.
638
00:41:30,908 --> 00:41:32,808
Your house is so beautiful.
639
00:41:33,144 --> 00:41:35,544
It must be difficult to go to work.
640
00:41:36,547 --> 00:41:38,981
I don't have to go very far.
641
00:42:10,348 --> 00:42:12,145
[CLEARS THROAT]
642
00:42:12,316 --> 00:42:14,477
[IN RUSSIAN]
643
00:42:14,652 --> 00:42:16,381
I don't think so.
644
00:42:16,721 --> 00:42:18,279
I wasn't talking to you.
645
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:23,584
Me?
646
00:42:23,761 --> 00:42:25,194
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
647
00:42:25,363 --> 00:42:26,523
I don't know.
648
00:42:26,697 --> 00:42:28,255
It'll be fun.
649
00:42:28,666 --> 00:42:29,690
Trust me.
650
00:42:38,309 --> 00:42:40,140
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
651
00:43:21,519 --> 00:43:23,316
You are so light on your feet.
652
00:43:23,487 --> 00:43:24,920
I recently lost 150 pounds.
653
00:43:25,256 --> 00:43:27,053
So did I.
654
00:43:27,224 --> 00:43:29,454
Isn't it great?
I have so much more energy now.
655
00:43:29,627 --> 00:43:31,094
Me too.
656
00:44:37,828 --> 00:44:40,023
- Thanks for jumping.
- No problem.
657
00:45:03,888 --> 00:45:05,913
Thank you for the lovely dance.
658
00:45:27,678 --> 00:45:29,543
Did you see anything
while I was dancing?
659
00:45:29,714 --> 00:45:33,081
Just once, but I don't think you expected
him to lift you so high.
660
00:45:34,452 --> 00:45:37,478
Anyway, I found out that the office
is in the guest house.
661
00:45:37,655 --> 00:45:39,247
Really? How'd you do that?
662
00:45:39,423 --> 00:45:42,085
Show him a little d�colletage,
cleavage, bat your eyes?
663
00:45:42,259 --> 00:45:44,250
I'm not judging, just detecting a pattern.
664
00:45:44,428 --> 00:45:46,794
- Ready to work?
- I'm ready to work. You ready?
665
00:45:46,964 --> 00:45:48,898
- Oh, my God.
- You're just having fun showing your:
666
00:45:49,066 --> 00:45:50,067
[GRUNTING]
667
00:45:57,408 --> 00:45:59,672
Six guards.
We are going to need another way in.
668
00:45:59,844 --> 00:46:02,005
Stand by, Max. Larabee, let's go. Move it.
669
00:46:02,446 --> 00:46:04,573
- What'd you do?
- I can't find the right screen.
670
00:46:04,749 --> 00:46:06,944
It was here a second ago,
then it went away.
671
00:46:07,118 --> 00:46:09,780
- What did you hit?
- Don't yell at me. It's not helping!
672
00:46:09,954 --> 00:46:11,421
If you don't find that screen...
673
00:46:11,589 --> 00:46:14,524
...l'm gonna have you hunting
for land mines, with a hammer!
674
00:46:17,528 --> 00:46:19,519
AGENT 23:
Got it, Max. There is one other entrance.
675
00:46:19,697 --> 00:46:20,755
What kind of entrance?
676
00:46:20,931 --> 00:46:23,832
The kind where you'll wanna
throw your shoes out afterwards.
677
00:46:24,502 --> 00:46:28,495
MAX: Oh, great, rats.
It's not enough that there's poop.
678
00:46:28,672 --> 00:46:33,609
You know what, I never saw James Bond
in rats or poop, let alone rats and poop.
679
00:46:34,478 --> 00:46:37,379
Look, a rat riding on a piece of poop.
680
00:46:37,548 --> 00:46:40,278
AGENT 99:
Stop it. It's just a storm drain.
681
00:46:44,555 --> 00:46:45,988
Here it is.
682
00:46:57,368 --> 00:47:00,997
Exploding dental floss.
You don't have this? Hm.
683
00:47:10,581 --> 00:47:12,481
Three, two...
684
00:47:13,150 --> 00:47:14,174
...one.
685
00:47:37,074 --> 00:47:38,701
Right.
686
00:47:44,548 --> 00:47:45,708
Come on.
687
00:48:02,867 --> 00:48:04,232
Are you staring at my butt?
688
00:48:05,102 --> 00:48:06,899
No, I am not.
689
00:48:07,071 --> 00:48:09,403
I might have been before, but I am...
690
00:48:09,573 --> 00:48:12,303
Now I am again. All right, I'm stopping.
691
00:48:12,476 --> 00:48:15,536
Pay attention to what I'm doing,
so that you can follow me exactly.
692
00:48:15,946 --> 00:48:17,208
Yep.
693
00:48:37,635 --> 00:48:39,899
Okay, Max. Little heads-up.
694
00:48:40,070 --> 00:48:43,130
High-intensity lasers. Whatever
part of you does touch gets sliced.
695
00:48:43,307 --> 00:48:46,470
One more reason
why boxers were a bad idea.
696
00:48:58,756 --> 00:49:01,156
All right, so do I have to do it
exactly like that?
697
00:49:01,325 --> 00:49:02,519
Just come on.
698
00:49:16,240 --> 00:49:18,640
That's impressive. Wow.
699
00:49:20,945 --> 00:49:22,640
Careful, this one's tricky.
700
00:49:22,813 --> 00:49:24,280
Good.
701
00:49:24,448 --> 00:49:25,472
Very good.
702
00:49:27,685 --> 00:49:28,845
Okay, it's not that good.
703
00:49:34,325 --> 00:49:35,519
[GASPS]
704
00:49:48,539 --> 00:49:49,733
Max. Max.
705
00:49:49,974 --> 00:49:51,236
Stay calm.
706
00:49:53,143 --> 00:49:55,839
Max, keep it together. Keep it together.
707
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:58,404
Max. Max.
708
00:49:59,984 --> 00:50:01,576
Careful! No, no.
709
00:50:01,752 --> 00:50:03,652
He's nibbling. That's not cheese!
710
00:50:03,821 --> 00:50:05,288
[MAX GROANING]
711
00:50:05,456 --> 00:50:06,684
Max, be quiet!
712
00:50:14,999 --> 00:50:16,990
Okay, shall we?
713
00:50:50,401 --> 00:50:52,528
[BEADS RATTLING]
714
00:50:55,439 --> 00:50:56,929
Did I hear something?
715
00:50:57,107 --> 00:51:00,377
Yes, there were some
tap dancers in the hallway.
716
00:51:02,713 --> 00:51:05,807
Damn it. I can't get into their system.
Biometric security.
717
00:51:05,983 --> 00:51:07,746
If you don't mind, 99...
718
00:51:12,956 --> 00:51:17,052
The old "steam sticks to everything
but the oil from the last thumb print" trick.
719
00:51:17,227 --> 00:51:18,251
Here we go.
720
00:51:18,495 --> 00:51:21,726
- Shipments of explosives.
- Your boyfriend is a very bad man.
721
00:51:21,899 --> 00:51:25,062
- And a really good kisser.
- Ignoring that.
722
00:51:28,172 --> 00:51:30,902
Look at that shipment of detonators.
It's a little odd.
723
00:51:31,075 --> 00:51:32,975
Well, he is a bomb-maker.
724
00:51:33,143 --> 00:51:36,340
No. What is odd is that it was shipped
to a bakery in Moscow.
725
00:51:36,513 --> 00:51:39,073
These detonators can also be used
for nuclear bombs.
726
00:51:39,249 --> 00:51:41,080
I think this is our connection to KAOS.
727
00:51:41,251 --> 00:51:42,775
[CREAKS]
728
00:51:54,164 --> 00:51:55,688
I set that up.
729
00:52:06,510 --> 00:52:07,772
Let her go.
730
00:52:08,212 --> 00:52:09,611
No.
731
00:52:09,780 --> 00:52:11,475
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
732
00:52:13,617 --> 00:52:17,109
I'm not totally incompetent
without a gun, you know.
733
00:52:41,845 --> 00:52:42,971
AGENT 99:
Thanks for the help.
734
00:52:44,014 --> 00:52:46,539
KRSTIC:
That's enough. Pity.
735
00:52:47,184 --> 00:52:51,382
I'm about to shoot beautiful woman
and her retard stable boy.
736
00:52:51,588 --> 00:52:52,612
And yet...
737
00:52:53,490 --> 00:52:55,685
...I will sleep like baby.
738
00:53:01,665 --> 00:53:04,190
- Not bad for a rookie.
- Not bad for an old lady.
739
00:53:08,272 --> 00:53:11,571
[PLAYING BEETHOVEN'S
"ODE TO JOY"]
740
00:53:13,477 --> 00:53:14,705
[PHONE RINGS]
741
00:53:14,878 --> 00:53:16,038
SIEGFRIED:
Siegfried here.
742
00:53:16,213 --> 00:53:18,340
MAN [OVER PHONE]:
How could you possibly screw this up?
743
00:53:18,515 --> 00:53:20,005
Krstic was a fool.
744
00:53:20,184 --> 00:53:22,913
- And they got lucky.
- Who's that? Who's speaking?
745
00:53:23,086 --> 00:53:24,212
That's no one, sir.
746
00:53:24,388 --> 00:53:27,186
They're heading towards you.
Don't disappoint me again.
747
00:53:27,357 --> 00:53:28,847
Don't worry, sir. They won't get pa...
748
00:53:29,026 --> 00:53:30,425
[DIAL TONE HUMS]
749
00:53:30,594 --> 00:53:31,686
Why does he do that?
750
00:53:31,862 --> 00:53:33,727
Don't look at me. I'm no one.
751
00:53:33,897 --> 00:53:35,387
And don't you forget it.
752
00:53:35,699 --> 00:53:37,929
Everyone here can be replaced.
753
00:53:38,101 --> 00:53:39,762
I even have backup for you.
754
00:53:39,937 --> 00:53:41,928
It's called a rhinoceros.
755
00:54:07,764 --> 00:54:10,562
I think it's time to find new wheels.
Pull over.
756
00:54:16,607 --> 00:54:18,973
I feel good about the mission so far,
don't you?
757
00:54:19,142 --> 00:54:20,404
So far, sure.
758
00:54:20,577 --> 00:54:22,477
I think we work very well together.
759
00:54:22,646 --> 00:54:23,977
Like at the mansion.
760
00:54:24,147 --> 00:54:28,277
The way I held that guy's hair
while you punched him in the throat.
761
00:54:28,452 --> 00:54:30,317
That was nice.
762
00:54:30,988 --> 00:54:32,012
Nice?
763
00:54:32,189 --> 00:54:33,850
Yeah, well, good teamwork.
764
00:54:34,024 --> 00:54:35,491
What are you doing?
765
00:54:35,659 --> 00:54:38,184
I'm just saying that I think
we're very compatible.
766
00:54:38,362 --> 00:54:41,798
I think that you are confusing adrenaline
with, I don't know...
767
00:54:41,965 --> 00:54:43,523
...some other kind of hormone.
768
00:54:43,700 --> 00:54:46,100
- No. That's not...
- Know what, Max? Just stop it.
769
00:54:47,271 --> 00:54:50,001
Let me give you a lesson
that I had to learn the hard way.
770
00:54:50,173 --> 00:54:52,334
You can't trust anyone out here,
not even me.
771
00:54:52,509 --> 00:54:55,205
I mean, you know,
I could be a double agent.
772
00:54:55,779 --> 00:54:58,111
The break-in at CONTROL
was probably an inside job.
773
00:54:58,282 --> 00:55:01,342
It happened just as I got back.
How do you know that it wasn't me?
774
00:55:02,319 --> 00:55:04,879
- What are we talking about here?
- Let's just find a car.
775
00:55:05,055 --> 00:55:07,717
Which one's gonna attract
the least attention?
776
00:55:08,225 --> 00:55:11,820
All right, well, we have
a couple Soviet-era sedans here...
777
00:55:11,995 --> 00:55:15,396
...we have that tractor, that cart...
778
00:55:16,199 --> 00:55:18,394
...and... That'll work.
779
00:55:19,403 --> 00:55:22,270
- No.
- Yes.
780
00:55:22,439 --> 00:55:23,838
No.
781
00:55:24,174 --> 00:55:25,368
Yes.
782
00:55:29,012 --> 00:55:32,004
- Oh, yeah, we are really under the radar.
- Will you relax?
783
00:55:32,182 --> 00:55:35,049
Since the fall of Communism,
everybody has one of these here.
784
00:55:38,322 --> 00:55:39,983
[IN RUSSIAN]
785
00:55:40,157 --> 00:55:41,454
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
786
00:56:02,479 --> 00:56:04,242
AGENT 99:
There's our little KAOS bakery.
787
00:56:04,414 --> 00:56:07,542
I don't have to remind you,
but this isn't like the last place.
788
00:56:07,718 --> 00:56:11,245
There's no party, there's no dancing.
Everyone in there is a trained killer.
789
00:56:11,421 --> 00:56:13,286
Do you understand? Okay.
790
00:56:13,457 --> 00:56:15,925
Did they explain to you
how your belt buckle works?
791
00:56:16,093 --> 00:56:19,119
No, but the technology for holding
up pants hasn't changed much.
792
00:56:19,296 --> 00:56:21,264
- Max.
- Hey, what?
793
00:56:21,732 --> 00:56:24,530
This one has a compartment.
Inside there's a pill.
794
00:56:24,701 --> 00:56:27,761
If captured, it would cause death
in nine seconds.
795
00:56:27,938 --> 00:56:28,962
Great.
796
00:56:29,506 --> 00:56:32,475
But how exactly do I get them to take it?
797
00:56:34,611 --> 00:56:38,513
- Not much of a laugher, are you?
- Here. Put this on.
798
00:56:38,682 --> 00:56:40,081
- On what?
- On your molar.
799
00:56:40,250 --> 00:56:43,378
It's a tooth radio. It sends sound
up your jawbone, into your ear.
800
00:56:43,553 --> 00:56:47,717
I can't hear anything outside your mouth,
so if you get in trouble, you have to say so.
801
00:56:47,891 --> 00:56:48,880
Is it working?
802
00:56:49,059 --> 00:56:51,027
[FEEDBACK SQUEALS]
803
00:56:52,362 --> 00:56:54,227
- [WHISPERS] Is it working?
- Yes.
804
00:56:54,398 --> 00:56:55,626
Good.
805
00:56:55,799 --> 00:56:56,823
Okay.
806
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,696
Well, you know what to do.
Good luck in there.
807
00:56:59,870 --> 00:57:01,531
You too.
808
00:57:24,494 --> 00:57:26,121
[BELL RINGS]
809
00:57:29,699 --> 00:57:31,530
Free rugelach?
810
00:57:31,701 --> 00:57:34,465
No, thank you.
I am here for something else.
811
00:57:34,805 --> 00:57:36,102
Bread?
812
00:57:36,273 --> 00:57:40,209
- Something hot.
- We have rolls that just came out.
813
00:57:40,377 --> 00:57:43,005
Even hotter. Much, much hotter.
814
00:57:43,346 --> 00:57:45,507
I already have boyfriend.
815
00:57:46,316 --> 00:57:48,910
- All right...
- Although, I could make exception.
816
00:57:49,085 --> 00:57:50,109
No, that's okay.
817
00:57:50,287 --> 00:57:53,484
Sure? Flour sacks in back,
very comfortable.
818
00:57:53,657 --> 00:57:57,149
I don't think we are on the same page.
819
00:57:57,494 --> 00:58:01,453
I'm here because Ladislas Krstic sent me.
820
00:58:01,631 --> 00:58:04,293
Ah. Take number.
821
00:58:05,602 --> 00:58:07,671
But I'm the only one here.
822
00:58:12,375 --> 00:58:14,002
Oh.
823
00:58:43,607 --> 00:58:44,904
Who are you?
824
00:58:45,075 --> 00:58:47,771
My name is Nudnik Shpilkes.
Who are you?
825
00:58:47,944 --> 00:58:50,538
- I am Siegfried.
- [LOUDLY] Did you say Siegfried?
826
00:58:50,714 --> 00:58:51,703
[FEEDBACK SQUEALS]
827
00:58:51,882 --> 00:58:52,871
Max!
828
00:58:53,116 --> 00:58:54,140
Yes.
829
00:58:54,317 --> 00:58:56,217
I understand that you're
the man to see...
830
00:58:56,386 --> 00:58:59,446
...if someone is interested in acquiring
items of a nuclear nature.
831
00:58:59,623 --> 00:59:03,184
- How do I know you're not CONTROL?
- lf I were CONTROL, you'd already be dead.
832
00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:05,294
If you were CONTROL, you'd be dead.
833
00:59:05,462 --> 00:59:09,421
Well, neither of us is dead,
so I'm obviously not from CONTROL.
834
00:59:13,099 --> 00:59:15,090
That actually makes sense.
835
00:59:16,436 --> 00:59:19,496
Follow me, Mr. Shpilkes.
836
00:59:25,712 --> 00:59:27,737
Test. Test.
837
00:59:30,950 --> 00:59:33,748
MAX: Ah. The "Ode to Joy"
from Beethoven's Ninth.
838
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:37,913
Stone deaf when he wrote it.
Syphilis. Fun stuff.
839
00:59:38,558 --> 00:59:43,086
Yes, a personal favorite.
A bit familiar, but it ends with a bang.
840
00:59:44,430 --> 00:59:45,920
You're doing great, Max.
841
00:59:46,132 --> 00:59:50,159
What I'm about to show you is
the inner sanctum of our entire operation.
842
00:59:50,336 --> 00:59:52,861
[LOUDLY] The inner sanctum
of the entire operation?
843
00:59:53,039 --> 00:59:55,030
[FEEDBACK SQUEALS]
844
00:59:56,743 --> 00:59:57,801
Yes.
845
01:00:06,686 --> 01:00:08,153
This is it?
846
01:00:08,321 --> 01:00:09,754
Of course not. I lied.
847
01:00:09,923 --> 01:00:11,220
He does that.
848
01:00:11,391 --> 01:00:14,360
I'm going to kill you,
and then I'm going to kill your partner.
849
01:00:14,527 --> 01:00:16,290
I don't know who you're talking about.
850
01:00:21,501 --> 01:00:25,096
MAX:
Ah. Mrs. Shpilkes must be lost.
851
01:00:25,271 --> 01:00:28,536
I think it's only fair to warn you,
this facility is surrounded...
852
01:00:28,708 --> 01:00:31,609
...by a highly trained team
of 130 Black Op snipers.
853
01:00:31,778 --> 01:00:33,746
- I don't believe you.
- Would you believe...
854
01:00:33,913 --> 01:00:35,904
...two dozen Delta Force commandos?
855
01:00:36,082 --> 01:00:38,607
- No.
- How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun?
856
01:00:39,185 --> 01:00:40,618
Goodbye, Mr. Smart.
857
01:00:42,021 --> 01:00:43,113
[DOOR SLAMS]
858
01:00:43,289 --> 01:00:46,986
Well, Mr. Shtarker,
I think you've underestimated me...
859
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:49,151
...and the element of surpr...!
860
01:00:59,238 --> 01:01:01,968
99, we've been compromised. Get out.
861
01:01:21,861 --> 01:01:23,556
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Access denied.
862
01:01:25,832 --> 01:01:27,993
[GRUNTING]
863
01:01:35,975 --> 01:01:38,603
[MAX GRUNTING]
864
01:01:47,053 --> 01:01:48,884
[GRUNTING]
865
01:01:53,393 --> 01:01:55,918
Access denied. Access denied.
866
01:01:56,095 --> 01:01:58,563
Access denied.
867
01:02:11,611 --> 01:02:12,635
AGENT 99:
Max, where are you?
868
01:02:12,812 --> 01:02:15,042
99, I found the yellowcake.
869
01:02:15,214 --> 01:02:16,875
Of course you did, it's a bakery.
870
01:02:17,050 --> 01:02:19,712
No, not yellow "cake" cake,
yellowcake uranium.
871
01:02:19,886 --> 01:02:24,380
Although there is yellow "cake" cake
here as well.
872
01:02:25,224 --> 01:02:26,486
Oh, Max.