1
00:02:41,410 --> 00:02:43,454
[MAN NARRATING]
This yacht is bringing...
2
00:02:43,537 --> 00:02:46,457
a revolutionary scientific invention
to Gotham City.
3
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:50,336
On a peaceful afternoon motor ride...
4
00:02:50,419 --> 00:02:54,090
millionaire Bruce Wayne and
his youthful ward, Dick Grayson...
5
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:56,842
have been summoned back to Wayne Manor...
6
00:02:56,926 --> 00:03:00,721
by an urgent but anonymous call for help.
7
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:03,891
The invention and its custodian...
8
00:03:03,974 --> 00:03:08,270
are reported in grave danger
aboard the yacht.
9
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:11,148
Never ones to shirk responsibility...
10
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:15,861
Bruce and Dick —
with characteristic speed and resolve —
11
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:19,198
descend promptly to the Batcave.
12
00:03:19,281 --> 00:03:22,993
And then, as they have done
many times before...
13
00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:25,746
as Batman and Robin —
14
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,791
courageous warriors against crime —
15
00:03:28,874 --> 00:03:33,337
they are off, once again, to the rescue.
16
00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:36,215
- [ENIGINE POWERING UP]
- Atomic batteries to power.
17
00:03:36,298 --> 00:03:38,759
- Turbines to speed.
- Roger. Ready to move out.
18
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:44,348
[TIRES SCREECHING]
19
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:57,319
Batmobile to airport.
20
00:03:57,403 --> 00:04:00,948
Red alert. Prepare Batcopter
for immediate takeoff.
21
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,719
Batmobile approaching Batcopter.
22
00:04:21,802 --> 00:04:24,472
- [BRAKES SQUEAL]
- [MAN ON P.A.] Red alert! Red alert!
23
00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:27,266
Gotham Tower to all aircraft
in the Gotham control zone.
24
00:04:27,349 --> 00:04:30,561
Enter your holding pattern.
Repeat: Enter your holding pattern.
25
00:04:30,644 --> 00:04:33,063
Batcopter cleared for takeoff.
26
00:04:54,543 --> 00:04:57,671
[CHEERING, SHOUTING]
27
00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:05,304
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOG]
28
00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:19,735
Gives a feller a good feelin' to know
they're up there doin' their job.
29
00:05:40,464 --> 00:05:44,093
Bat drift angle: 0-3 to starboard.
30
00:05:44,176 --> 00:05:46,929
Roger. Correcting to port.
31
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:54,353
Altitude: 3-1-7.
32
00:05:54,436 --> 00:05:56,939
Sink rate: .49.
33
00:06:02,444 --> 00:06:06,615
- Drop bat ladder.
- Bat ladder away.
34
00:06:25,342 --> 00:06:29,805
Lock computer on after deck.
Set automatic bat hold.
35
00:06:37,229 --> 00:06:39,815
Watch out, Batman. This could be tricky.
36
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:43,152
Have no fear, Robin.
I'll keep all my wits about me.
37
00:06:43,235 --> 00:06:45,404
So long — for a minute.
38
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:21,899
Batman to Robin. Ease off on the power.
39
00:07:28,155 --> 00:07:30,199
Increase sink rate.
40
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:34,286
Roger. Wilco.
41
00:07:52,888 --> 00:07:55,391
Take her up!
42
00:07:56,558 --> 00:07:58,727
[BATMAN GRUNTING]
43
00:08:02,314 --> 00:08:04,024
Holy sardine!
44
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:23,877
Hand me down the shark repellent bat spray!
45
00:09:01,331 --> 00:09:03,834
[PUNCHES LANDING]
46
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:23,437
[SPRAY HISSING]
47
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,694
[COMMISSIONER GORDON]
All right. Enough pictures.
48
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:32,988
[BATMAN] This press conference
must be brief, ladies and gentlemen.
49
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,407
[CHIEF O'HARA] You're lucky the Dynamic Duo
will talk to you at all.
50
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:37,993
You there, Mr. Merrick, of the Gotham City Times.
51
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,120
According to rumor, Batman...
52
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:42,706
a transatlantic yacht approaching
this city simply disappeared.
53
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:45,834
Nonsense. How can a yacht "simply" disappear?
54
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:49,004
- You mean it isn't true?
- I stand on my answer, Mr. Merrick.
55
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,131
Mr. Stanley of the Globe.
56
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:54,259
This yacht, I believe, belonged to
the famous Big Ben Distilleries.
57
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,386
That's right.
58
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:59,264
Isn't the firm's proprietor,
Commodore Schmidlapp, bringing with him...
59
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:02,101
a fantastic new invention from the
Big Ben's research laboratory?
60
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:04,269
Please, no more questions about that ship.
61
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,396
What about that exploding shark?
62
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:11,068
Doubtless an unfortunate animal who
chanced to swallow a floating mine.
63
00:10:11,151 --> 00:10:14,571
I wouldn't worry about that either,
Mr. Merrick. You there, Miss —
64
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:18,826
[RUSSIAN ACCENT] Comrade Kitanya lrenya
Tatanya Karenska Alisoff.
65
00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:20,994
I am from the Moscow Bugle.
66
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:24,706
You grace us with your presence.
May I be of service?
67
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:29,128
If you please to take off the mask
to give the better picture?
68
00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:31,880
- [CROWD GASPING]
- Great Scott! Batman take off his mask?
69
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,676
- [CHIEF] The woman must be mad!
- [BATMAN] Please, Chief O'Hara, all of you.
70
00:10:35,759 --> 00:10:39,179
This young lady is a stranger to our shores.
71
00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:43,934
Her request is not unnatural,
however impossible to grant.
72
00:10:44,017 --> 00:10:46,937
- Impossible?
- Indeed.
73
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:50,566
If Robin and I were to remove our masks...
74
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:53,485
the secret of our true identities
would be revealed.
75
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:56,113
Completely destroying their value
as ace crime fighters.
76
00:10:56,196 --> 00:11:00,075
Sure, ma'am. Not even Commissioner Gordon
and meself know who they really are.
77
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,078
In fact, our own relatives
we live with don't know.
78
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:07,374
But your so curious costumes?
79
00:11:07,457 --> 00:11:11,879
Don't be put off by them, ma'am. Under this garb,
we're perfectly ordinary Americans.
80
00:11:12,045 --> 00:11:15,716
You are like the masked vigilantes
in the westerns, no?
81
00:11:15,799 --> 00:11:19,761
Certainly not! Batman and Robin are
fully deputized agents of the law.
82
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,264
"Support your police." That's our message.
83
00:11:22,347 --> 00:11:24,391
Well said, Robin.
84
00:11:24,474 --> 00:11:27,102
And no better way to end
this press conference.
85
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:30,272
- Thank you and good day.
- [CROWD MURMURING]
86
00:11:30,355 --> 00:11:33,108
- [MAN] Batman —
- [CHIEF] Never mind. Come on. Everybody out now.
87
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,569
We're all busy here. Get 'em out.
88
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:38,906
A fine job, Batman.
You allayed their fears magnificently.
89
00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:42,367
What else could I have done?
If I'd told the truth, panic would grip the city.
90
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:45,370
The truth. Sure, and what is the truth?
91
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:48,540
A decoy — a strange, anonymous warning...
92
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:52,211
that Commodore Schmidlapp
is in danger to lure me into a trap.
93
00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:54,338
A fiendish attempt on Batman's life.
94
00:11:54,421 --> 00:11:57,966
You mean, while they were
luring you to a watery grave...
95
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,344
the Commodore's yacht was being
hijacked someplace else?
96
00:12:00,427 --> 00:12:03,513
- Precisely.
- And who behind it? Not a clue.
97
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:07,142
Tell me, Commissioner. What known
super criminals are at large just now?
98
00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,686
I'll check at once, Batman.
[FLIPS SWITCH]
99
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:12,773
Bonnie, let's have the latest status report
on known super criminals at large.
100
00:12:12,856 --> 00:12:14,900
- [WOMAN ON INTERCOM] Yes, sir.
- Thank you, Bonnie.
101
00:12:14,983 --> 00:12:18,111
Coming up, Batman, on the closed-circuit TV screen.
Come over here.
102
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,409
[MAN ON TV] Status report.
103
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:27,996
Known super criminals not currently imprisoned.
104
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:32,251
- [BATMAN] The Penguin.
- That pompous waddling master of foul play.
105
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:35,754
Maestro of a million criminal umbrellas.
106
00:12:35,837 --> 00:12:38,799
- [ROBIN] The Joker!
- [CHIEF] Devilish clown prince of crime.
107
00:12:38,882 --> 00:12:42,344
If I only had a nickel for
every time he's baffled us.
108
00:12:42,427 --> 00:12:46,515
- [COMMISSIONER] What? The Riddler loose too?
- [BATMAN] So it seems.
109
00:12:46,598 --> 00:12:49,184
Loose to plague us
with his criminal conundrums.
110
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:52,354
[ROBIN] Gosh! And the Catwoman!
111
00:12:52,437 --> 00:12:54,481
[MAN] End of status report.
112
00:12:54,564 --> 00:12:59,861
Could be any one of them,
but which one? What —
113
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,155
- Which ones?
- [GASPS]
114
00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,867
Pretty fishy what happened to me
on that ladder.
115
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:08,328
You mean, where there's a fish,
there could be a Penguin.
116
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:11,248
But wait. It happened at sea.
117
00:13:11,331 --> 00:13:14,084
See? "C" for Catwoman.
118
00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:19,506
Yet, an exploding shark...
was pulling my leg.
119
00:13:19,589 --> 00:13:24,177
- The Joker.
- It all adds up to a sinister riddle.
120
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:27,723
Riddle-er. Riddler?
121
00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:31,435
Oh, a thought strikes me...
122
00:13:31,518 --> 00:13:35,814
so dreadful,
I scarcely dare give it utterance.
123
00:13:35,897 --> 00:13:40,277
The four of them — their forces combined.
124
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,989
- Holy nightmare! - Batman, could it be?
125
00:13:44,072 --> 00:13:46,408
I don't know.
126
00:13:46,491 --> 00:13:50,495
But I think I know where to find a clue.
127
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,664
Come on, Robin, to the Batcave.
128
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:55,083
We haven't one moment to lose!
129
00:14:01,965 --> 00:14:04,760
[FOGHORN BLOWING]
130
00:14:10,223 --> 00:14:13,977
[RAUCUS LAUGHTER, SHOUTING, MUFFLED]
131
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:23,028
[LAUGHING, SHOUTING CONTINUES]
132
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:40,128
- Ahoy, Catwoman.
- Imbecile!
133
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,130
How many times have I told you?
134
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:44,674
Never use my real name in public!
135
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,552
[MAN CACKLING]
136
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,347
[CACKLING CONTINUES]
137
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:55,185
You and your trained exploding shark.
138
00:14:55,268 --> 00:14:57,312
Faugh! Quack!
139
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:01,358
How should I know they'd have a can of
shark repellent bat spray handy?
140
00:15:01,441 --> 00:15:03,485
Why, you sniveling sardine!
141
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:06,405
Why, you pompous puffed-up penguin!
142
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:08,532
Oh, friends, make peace.
143
00:15:08,615 --> 00:15:11,993
- Have a shake on me.
- [YELPING]
144
00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:15,288
Oh, a joke a day keeps the gloom away.
145
00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:18,959
Sic 'em, Hecate. Scratch out their eyes.
146
00:15:19,042 --> 00:15:21,545
- [YOWLS]
- [PENGUIN] Take away that ravenous panther!
147
00:15:21,628 --> 00:15:24,923
So help me, Catwoman,
I'll feed him to the birds.
148
00:15:25,006 --> 00:15:27,467
I'll incapacitate the beast
with my trick confetti.
149
00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:31,179
United Underworld.
[Scoffs]
150
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,348
We're about as united as the members...
151
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:36,059
of the United World headquarters
on Gotham East River.
152
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:39,646
- What's the matter with you all?
- She's right.
153
00:15:39,729 --> 00:15:44,317
She's right. if we don't manage to somehow
swallow our super criminal pride...
154
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,528
- I'm afraid we're going —
- Right, Mr. Riddler!
155
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:49,197
Quite right. We must hang together...
156
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,533
or most assuredly we shall hang separately.
157
00:15:51,616 --> 00:15:53,743
Oh, and what a pity that would be —
158
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:56,705
on the eve of the greatest criminal coup
anyone ever dreamed of.
159
00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:58,790
Aha! How did it go, Catwoman?
160
00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:03,378
- Purr-fectly. Purr-fectly.
- [MEOWS]
161
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,673
In my disguise as Kitka...
162
00:16:06,756 --> 00:16:09,384
I penetrated their press conference.
163
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:13,180
- The fools are completely baffled.
- Eh, but undrowned.
164
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:16,057
Yes, unfortunately.
165
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:18,226
Batman's boots didn't even look damp.
166
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,353
[MUTTERS]
167
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,481
- [MEOWS]
- How's our prisoner?
168
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:25,567
- Still doesn't know he's been kidnapped?
- He hasn't the foggiest.
169
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:28,028
He just keeps ringing for his confounded tea.
170
00:16:28,111 --> 00:16:31,573
- [BELL RINGS]
- There he goes again.
171
00:16:31,656 --> 00:16:35,076
- [PENGUIN] Take it to him, man.
- Oh! [CHUCKLES]
172
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,579
[LAUGHING]
173
00:16:37,662 --> 00:16:40,165
- [FOGHORN BLOWING]
- [INHALES] Ah!
174
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,417
[INHALES]
175
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,629
- [KNOCKING]
- Come in.
176
00:16:45,712 --> 00:16:49,007
[LAUGHING]
Your tea, Commodore Schmidlapp.
177
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:53,386
Oh, thank you, steward.
Jolly good service aboard this yacht.
178
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:56,848
- Oh, we strive to give satisfaction, sir.
- [CHUCKLES] Ye —
179
00:16:56,932 --> 00:17:00,018
I say, steward,
your face has the most ghastly pallor.
180
00:17:00,101 --> 00:17:02,771
Are you sure you're getting enough
of the good old sea air?
181
00:17:02,854 --> 00:17:05,982
Oh, my duties keep me
mostly undercover, sir.
182
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,276
Oh, too bad. Too bad.
183
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:12,364
Any notion how much longer this yacht will
remain here, fogbound off the Grand Banks?
184
00:17:12,447 --> 00:17:14,783
Oh, I really couldn't say, sir.
185
00:17:14,866 --> 00:17:18,995
Oh, well. Gives me a jolly good chance
to get caught up on my Dickens.
186
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:22,123
Still, I would like to get to Gotham City
one of these days.
187
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,960
I have a deuced clever invention with me,
you know.
188
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:27,087
Stored down in the hold.
189
00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:29,548
Should be worth millions of Yankee dollars.
Pip, pip!
190
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,968
Oh! [Laughs]
Well, "Pip! pip!" to you, sir.
191
00:17:33,051 --> 00:17:35,136
If you wish anything further, just ring.
192
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,514
[CACKLING]
193
00:17:39,015 --> 00:17:42,102
[FOGHORN BLOWS]
194
00:17:42,185 --> 00:17:45,397
[WAVES SPLASHING]
195
00:17:47,774 --> 00:17:50,527
[FOGHORN BLOWS]
196
00:17:50,610 --> 00:17:52,779
[BELL CLANGS]
197
00:17:52,862 --> 00:17:55,907
Commodore Schmidlapp's
invention in our hands —
198
00:17:55,991 --> 00:18:00,954
the whole world
almost literally in our grasp —
199
00:18:01,037 --> 00:18:04,916
and Batman and Robin
still alive to block us.
200
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:09,212
[CACKLING] Everything "pip, pip"
with the prisoner, comrades.
201
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:12,549
- He hasn't a clue.
- No, but I bet the Dynamic Duo has.
202
00:18:12,632 --> 00:18:15,927
- What?
- A clue on how we made that ship disappear.
203
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:19,973
- And when they solve that —
- Of course. They'll be out to investigate.
204
00:18:20,056 --> 00:18:23,977
But we'll be there first.
If we hurry, that is. if we hurry.
205
00:18:24,060 --> 00:18:27,063
Catwoman, you tend to this headquarters.
206
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:30,025
Attention, you unfathomable finks!
207
00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:32,235
- Yo-ho!
- Now heart his.
208
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:34,404
Call down to our
secret river-bottom dock...
209
00:18:34,487 --> 00:18:36,531
and prepare our submarine for sea!
210
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,658
- Yo-ho!
- Yo-ho what?
211
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:40,785
- Sir!
- Quack.
212
00:18:44,122 --> 00:18:47,626
Holy Merlin the magician!
Get set for a shock.
213
00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:53,256
The bat camera was aimed right
at the yacht when it took this picture.
214
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,343
[BATMAN]
So, my strange hunch was right.
215
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:59,220
- I don't get it, Batman.
- Think, Robin. As you truly remarked...
216
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:03,558
no one can make a seagoing vessel
simply disappear —
217
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:08,229
provided it was ever really there at all.
218
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:10,440
- You mean —
- Precisely, Robin.
219
00:19:10,523 --> 00:19:14,736
The yacht we thought we saw
was a mere illusion...
220
00:19:14,819 --> 00:19:19,366
a tricky projection akin
to the common desert mirage.
221
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:22,243
It deceived our naked eyes...
222
00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:25,538
but was blocked by the bat camera's
polarized bat filter.
223
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:28,333
I think I know where that projection
came from too.
224
00:19:28,416 --> 00:19:30,794
Observe — that bell buoy.
225
00:19:30,877 --> 00:19:33,004
- What's the matter with it?
- Quite a lot, I fancy.
226
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:37,926
Let's see. The coordinates
of our position were 10.3 by 69-B.
227
00:19:38,009 --> 00:19:40,720
Quickly. Feed those figures into
the navigational aid computer.
228
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,889
Roger.
229
00:19:47,852 --> 00:19:50,730
[WHIRRING]
230
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:53,608
- [BELL RINGS]
- Negative. No legal bell buoy at that position.
231
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:55,735
Ha! As I surmised.
232
00:19:55,819 --> 00:19:59,406
An illegal projection buoy
cleverly camouflaged.
233
00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:01,616
Wow!
Maybe the crooks left fingerprints on it.
234
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:05,328
Good thinking, Robin. Let's find out.
To the Batboat. Fast!
235
00:20:39,946 --> 00:20:42,657
[MOTOR ROARS]
236
00:21:01,092 --> 00:21:04,137
- One thing I don't dig, Batman.
- Oh?
237
00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:07,557
If that ship was just a mirage,
what happened to the real one?
238
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:10,727
Taken to some secret island hideaway...
239
00:21:10,810 --> 00:21:12,896
with every soul aboard save one.
240
00:21:12,979 --> 00:21:16,107
- Commodore Schmidlapp?
- Precisely.
241
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:20,320
For some baffling reason, the hijackers
needed him or his invention...
242
00:21:20,403 --> 00:21:22,489
as part of their criminal scheme.
243
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:31,414
Keep an eye on the scope.
Watch for suspicious vessels.
244
00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:34,334
I'm watching, Batman.
245
00:21:34,417 --> 00:21:36,878
It looks like we've got
the whole ocean to ourselves.
246
00:21:36,961 --> 00:21:40,465
[SONAR PINGING]
247
00:21:44,969 --> 00:21:47,680
[Quacking Laugh]
248
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:53,603
Diving planes, Mr. Bluebeard.
Hoist her three degrees.
249
00:21:53,686 --> 00:21:55,730
Yo-ho! Hoist three degrees.
250
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:58,983
I certainly hope you know
what you're doing, Penguin.
251
00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:03,238
Mr. Riddler,
I ignore your insipid insinuations!
252
00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:06,533
Hmm! Hah! Mr. Joker!
253
00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:08,743
You're leaning on the current control.
254
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,830
Don't sound so bossy, if you please!
255
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:13,957
My dear sir, as the poet says...
256
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,335
"On land, you may command.
At sea, it is me."
257
00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:21,005
- [QUACKING LAUGH]
- [MOCKING QUACKS]
258
00:22:21,089 --> 00:22:25,176
- [P.A.: WHISTLE PIPING]
- Now hear this. Now hear this.
259
00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:28,972
This is your captain speaking,
my fine-pinioned pirates.
260
00:22:29,055 --> 00:22:31,182
We're approaching the tricky buoy.
261
00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:34,561
Sharpen your cutlasses.
There may be skulduggery ahead!
262
00:22:41,943 --> 00:22:44,487
- Yo-ho!
- What?
263
00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:48,491
- What?
- Unidentified small craft bearing 1-1-3.
264
00:22:48,575 --> 00:22:50,618
[QUACK]
Mr. Bluebeard!
265
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:53,621
- Hold her steady! Up periscope!
- Yo-ho! Up periscope.
266
00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:55,748
[QUACKS]
267
00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:21,190
[QUACKS]
268
00:23:21,274 --> 00:23:25,194
Great quivering icebergs! Just as I hoped.
269
00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:28,823
Watch your step, Robin.
270
00:23:31,075 --> 00:23:35,038
An underwater shark cage —
the source of that fiendish fish.
271
00:23:35,121 --> 00:23:38,875
What cruelty — stuffing a poor shark
with a ton of deadly T.N.T.
272
00:23:38,958 --> 00:23:41,044
True. Nothing's sacred to those devils.
273
00:23:42,462 --> 00:23:45,089
Torpedoes! Torpedoes!
What are we waiting for?
274
00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:47,300
Chain of command, Mr. Riddler.
275
00:23:47,383 --> 00:23:49,469
The Penguin runs a taut ship.
276
00:23:49,552 --> 00:23:51,638
Now hear this, Mr. Joker.
Load the torpedo tubes.
277
00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:53,806
Yo-ho!
[LAUGHING]
278
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:58,019
Load torpedo tubes.
279
00:24:01,689 --> 00:24:04,442
Salt and corrosion —
280
00:24:04,525 --> 00:24:07,362
the infamous old enemies
of the crime fighter.
281
00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:09,530
No prints here.
282
00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:11,866
Look here, Batman.
283
00:24:17,121 --> 00:24:21,876
That tricky mirage projector
must be behind this plate.
284
00:24:26,589 --> 00:24:29,550
Wow!
What a set of superpower lenses.
285
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:31,803
No wonder we were fooled.
286
00:24:35,556 --> 00:24:37,600
Look, Robin.
287
00:24:39,769 --> 00:24:42,814
[ROBIN] Holy Long John Silver!
A pirate periscope.
288
00:24:42,897 --> 00:24:46,484
They've spotted us.
Set torpedoes to automatic homing.
289
00:24:46,567 --> 00:24:49,654
Yo-ho! Set torpedoes
to automatic homing.
290
00:24:49,737 --> 00:24:53,866
[EXCLAIMS] You crazy bird.
Fire them off! Quickly!
291
00:24:53,950 --> 00:24:57,537
[QUACKS]
Mr. Morgan, kindly activate...
292
00:24:57,620 --> 00:25:00,790
the remote-control
Penguin magnet inside that buoy.
293
00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:02,333
Yo-ho!
294
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:05,128
- [ELECTROMAGNET HUMMING]
- Hey!
295
00:25:05,211 --> 00:25:09,340
- Holy glue pot! What's going on?
- The fiends!
296
00:25:09,424 --> 00:25:13,177
They've converted this buoy
into a gigantic magnet.
297
00:25:13,261 --> 00:25:17,849
It's got us by the metallic objects
in our utility belts.
298
00:25:17,932 --> 00:25:21,436
- Torpedo tubes armed.
- [QUACKS]
299
00:25:21,519 --> 00:25:23,604
- [HUMMING CONTINUES]
- Batman!
300
00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:26,232
We're helpless in this
monstrous invisible grip.
301
00:25:26,315 --> 00:25:29,527
Steady, Robin. I see one hope.
302
00:25:29,610 --> 00:25:31,195
What, Batman?
303
00:25:31,279 --> 00:25:37,493
If I can just pry loose...
my utility-belt transmitter.
304
00:25:37,577 --> 00:25:41,080
[QUACK]
Mr. Joker, are you ready to fire?
305
00:25:41,164 --> 00:25:42,790
Yo-ho! Ready to fire.
306
00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:48,755
Five, four, three, two —
307
00:25:48,838 --> 00:25:51,674
- Fire one!
- Fire one!
308
00:25:57,096 --> 00:25:59,182
Torpedoes!
309
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:06,272
- [FREQUENCY HUMMING]
- If I can just reverse the polarity —
310
00:26:06,355 --> 00:26:08,941
send out waves of super energy.
311
00:26:20,495 --> 00:26:23,289
- [RIDDLER] What happened?
- Mr. Joker, fire two!
312
00:26:23,372 --> 00:26:25,416
Fire two!
313
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:30,713
- [QUACKING LAUGH]
- [LAUGHING]
314
00:26:30,797 --> 00:26:33,091
Here comes another one!
315
00:26:33,174 --> 00:26:35,885
[FREQUENCY HUMMING]
316
00:26:42,975 --> 00:26:45,645
You and your reconditioned
war surplus torpedoes!
317
00:26:45,728 --> 00:26:49,941
He must be using a super energy
reverse polarizer.
318
00:26:50,024 --> 00:26:52,110
Mr. Joker, fire three!
319
00:26:52,193 --> 00:26:54,570
Fire three!
320
00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:01,494
[Joker LAUGHING]
321
00:27:01,577 --> 00:27:04,372
Here comes a third one, Batman!
322
00:27:04,455 --> 00:27:06,707
[FREQUENCY HUMMING]
323
00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:09,669
[HUMMING STOPS]
324
00:27:12,839 --> 00:27:15,925
Confound it! The batteries are dead!
325
00:27:21,556 --> 00:27:23,683
This one's getting through.
326
00:27:24,934 --> 00:27:27,728
[RIDDLER]
It is. It's getting through.
327
00:27:29,730 --> 00:27:31,774
[EXPLOSION]
328
00:27:31,858 --> 00:27:35,778
- Yo-ho-ho-ho!
- Yo-ho-ho-ho!
329
00:27:35,862 --> 00:27:38,030
Surface, Mr. Bluebeard. Surface.
330
00:27:38,114 --> 00:27:41,117
Let us feast our eyes
on the watery remains.
331
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,536
[BOTH LAUGHING]
332
00:27:58,509 --> 00:28:02,471
Gosh, Batman, the nobility of
the almost-human porpoise.
333
00:28:02,555 --> 00:28:06,434
True, Robin.
It was noble of that animal...
334
00:28:06,517 --> 00:28:09,562
to hurl himself into the
path of that final torpedo.
335
00:28:10,938 --> 00:28:13,024
He gave his life for ours.
336
00:28:20,740 --> 00:28:24,619
Operator, please give me the
Pentagon in Washington, Navy Department.
337
00:28:26,662 --> 00:28:29,957
- Oops. Too bad.
- [RINGS]
338
00:28:30,124 --> 00:28:32,251
Admiral Fangschliestefs office.
339
00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:36,672
Hello. Batman speaking.
340
00:28:36,756 --> 00:28:39,008
- Oh, hello.
- Who is it?
341
00:28:39,091 --> 00:28:42,470
- Batman.
- Oh, Batman.
342
00:28:42,553 --> 00:28:45,973
Hello, Batman. Ahoy.
What can I do for you?
343
00:28:46,057 --> 00:28:48,476
Hello, Admiral. A routine question.
344
00:28:48,559 --> 00:28:52,772
Have you recently sold any
war surplus submarines? And if so, to whom?
345
00:28:52,855 --> 00:28:56,025
Oh,just a moment.
I'll have to look that up.
346
00:28:56,108 --> 00:29:01,322
[♪ Whistling "Anchors Aweigh" ♪]
347
00:29:01,405 --> 00:29:04,033
Keep practicing.
[♪ Whistling Resumes ♪]
348
00:29:04,116 --> 00:29:07,870
- [Tiddlywinks Plinking]
- Answer affirmative, Batman.
349
00:29:07,954 --> 00:29:13,125
We disposed of a war surplus submarine
last Friday — a pre-atomic model.
350
00:29:13,209 --> 00:29:15,878
To some chap named P.N. Gwynne.
351
00:29:15,962 --> 00:29:19,382
- P.N. Gwynne?
- The Penguin.
352
00:29:19,465 --> 00:29:23,427
Did this P.N. Gwynne leave an address?
353
00:29:23,511 --> 00:29:26,389
No Just a post office box number.
Would you like it?
354
00:29:26,472 --> 00:29:31,018
No, thank you, Admiral.
You've been very helpful.
355
00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:33,938
Avast and belay, Batman.
Your tone sounds rather grim.
356
00:29:34,021 --> 00:29:36,107
We haven't done anything foolish, have we?
357
00:29:36,190 --> 00:29:38,985
Disposing of pre-atomic submarines...
358
00:29:39,068 --> 00:29:42,154
to persons who don't even
leave their full addresses?
359
00:29:42,238 --> 00:29:44,740
Good day, Admiral.
[Line Clicks]
360
00:29:44,824 --> 00:29:46,867
Gosh.
361
00:29:47,034 --> 00:29:50,746
The Penguin in command of
a pre-atomic submarine.
362
00:29:50,830 --> 00:29:52,873
Grave situation, Robin.
363
00:29:52,957 --> 00:29:55,793
- If only we knew what he was up to,
what he was —
364
00:29:57,086 --> 00:29:59,130
Holy Polaris!
365
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,844
From that submarine, no doubt.
366
00:30:20,526 --> 00:30:23,571
That missile!
Look, it's written something.
367
00:30:29,702 --> 00:30:32,413
[ROBIN]
A riddle — in the form of a joke.
368
00:30:32,496 --> 00:30:35,624
Let's race back to headquarters, Robin.
369
00:30:35,708 --> 00:30:38,627
You know what this means, don't you?
370
00:30:43,924 --> 00:30:46,010
[TIRES SCREECH]
371
00:30:48,804 --> 00:30:50,973
[COMMISSIONER]
Our blackest fears confirmed.
372
00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:54,477
Penguin, Joker, Riddler — those three
super criminals, their forces combined.
373
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,812
For heaven only knows
what infamous objective.
374
00:30:56,896 --> 00:30:58,939
It may be worse than that, gentlemen.
375
00:30:59,023 --> 00:31:01,567
- [COMMISSIONER] Worse?
- Saints alive. How can that be?
376
00:31:01,650 --> 00:31:04,445
Look at this pair of joking riddles.
377
00:31:04,528 --> 00:31:08,908
"What does a turkey do when
he flies upside down?"
378
00:31:08,991 --> 00:31:11,535
- He gobbles up.
- Of course.
379
00:31:11,619 --> 00:31:13,662
And number two.
380
00:31:13,746 --> 00:31:16,874
"What weighs six ounces,
sits in a tree and is very dangerous?"
381
00:31:16,957 --> 00:31:20,169
- A sparrow with a machine gun.
- Yes, of course.
382
00:31:20,252 --> 00:31:23,631
Now combine both answers.
383
00:31:23,714 --> 00:31:28,803
What kind of creature would
gobble up a bird in a tree?
384
00:31:28,886 --> 00:31:30,971
Heaven protect us!
385
00:31:31,055 --> 00:31:33,182
- A cat!
- Yes, gentlemen.
386
00:31:33,265 --> 00:31:35,726
The criminal catalyst in this entire affair —
387
00:31:35,810 --> 00:31:39,647
our old archenemy Catwoman.
388
00:31:41,190 --> 00:31:45,820
Penguin, Joker, Riddler and Catwoman too.
389
00:31:45,903 --> 00:31:50,574
The sum of the angles of that rectangle
is too monstrous to contemplate.
390
00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:52,952
We've been given the plainest warning.
391
00:31:53,035 --> 00:31:56,247
- They're working together to take over —
- To take over what, Batman?
392
00:31:56,330 --> 00:31:58,541
- Gotham City?
- Any two of them might try that.
393
00:31:58,624 --> 00:32:00,709
The whole country?
394
00:32:00,793 --> 00:32:04,797
If it were three of them,
I would say yes. But four?
395
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:07,425
Their minimum objective must be...
396
00:32:08,968 --> 00:32:12,012
the entire world.
397
00:32:12,138 --> 00:32:16,308
[CATWOMAN] The United World Building,
dear comrades in crime.
398
00:32:16,392 --> 00:32:20,563
Our objective — the Security Council.
399
00:32:20,646 --> 00:32:25,693
Sitting like fat birds in a tree,
just waiting to be snatched.
400
00:32:25,776 --> 00:32:27,862
And you bungled it again!
401
00:32:27,945 --> 00:32:30,072
Again the Dynamic Duo escaped our trap!
402
00:32:30,156 --> 00:32:33,909
Faugh! Passing porpoises
which intercept torpedoes.
403
00:32:33,993 --> 00:32:36,912
There ought to be a piscatorial statute.
404
00:32:36,996 --> 00:32:39,248
Time is getting short!
405
00:32:39,331 --> 00:32:41,709
We've got to get Batman
before he gets us.
406
00:32:41,792 --> 00:32:44,336
Mmm. Perhaps I could lure him
into the fatal embrace...
407
00:32:44,420 --> 00:32:46,589
of a giant exploding octopus.
408
00:32:46,672 --> 00:32:49,884
You silly bird! They've just been through
one of your fishy explosions.
409
00:32:49,967 --> 00:32:52,553
- And they're still in one piece.
- Indeed?
410
00:32:52,636 --> 00:32:54,763
I suppose they'll be broken up
by your moldy jokes.
411
00:32:54,847 --> 00:32:56,891
- Aw —
- Shut up, all of you!
412
00:32:56,974 --> 00:33:01,103
I see the way to do it.
413
00:33:01,187 --> 00:33:05,441
We'll play each of our
treacherous trumps in one hand...
414
00:33:05,524 --> 00:33:08,777
and we'll do it right here.
415
00:33:08,861 --> 00:33:13,491
- How?
- How? The end.
416
00:33:15,075 --> 00:33:18,412
The end. Oh, boy.
417
00:33:18,537 --> 00:33:21,832
[High-pitched Giggling]
418
00:33:21,916 --> 00:33:25,836
We shall spring them from
the Joker's jack-in-the-box...
419
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,632
through that window, out over the sea...
420
00:33:29,715 --> 00:33:31,800
and into the waiting arms...
421
00:33:31,884 --> 00:33:35,513
of the Penguin's exploding octopus.
422
00:33:35,596 --> 00:33:37,681
[GIGGLING]
423
00:33:37,765 --> 00:33:40,309
The trigger?
One of my riddles, of course.
424
00:33:40,392 --> 00:33:44,522
And the bait?
[EXCLAIMS ] You, Catwoman.
425
00:33:44,605 --> 00:33:46,899
You're mad, Riddler.
426
00:33:46,982 --> 00:33:49,902
The minute Batman spots her,
he'll bop her with a batarang.
427
00:33:49,985 --> 00:33:52,696
You don't understand, Joker.
428
00:33:52,780 --> 00:33:54,949
She will be disguised as Kitka.
429
00:33:55,032 --> 00:34:00,788
And as Kitka, she shall lure some
millionaire into a kidnap trap —
430
00:34:00,871 --> 00:34:03,874
Of course.
With a clever clue pointing here.
431
00:34:03,958 --> 00:34:06,752
Oh! Which will make Batman
race to the rescue.
432
00:34:06,835 --> 00:34:08,963
- Capital!
- [RIDDLER GIGGLES]
433
00:34:09,046 --> 00:34:11,131
But who are we going to kidnap?
434
00:34:11,215 --> 00:34:15,594
Ah. I know the perfect victim.
435
00:34:15,678 --> 00:34:17,888
I know the perfect victim.
436
00:34:17,972 --> 00:34:20,933
I know the perfect — Bruce Wayne...
437
00:34:21,016 --> 00:34:25,980
the millionaire head of that disgusting
do-gooding Wayne Foundation.
438
00:34:26,063 --> 00:34:29,692
[CACKLING]
Ooh! Delicious!
439
00:34:29,775 --> 00:34:33,862
Just the sort of square citizen
Batman will dash to rescue.
440
00:34:33,946 --> 00:34:37,199
- Then snap!
- Into the combination trap.
441
00:34:37,283 --> 00:34:42,454
Purr-fect, Riddler. Purr-fect. Mmm!
442
00:34:44,748 --> 00:34:50,170
Comrade Wayne, my name is
Kitanya lrenya Tatanya Karenska Alisoff.
443
00:34:50,254 --> 00:34:54,258
I'm from the Moscow Bugle.
My friends call me Kitka.
444
00:34:54,341 --> 00:34:56,802
Kitka.
445
00:34:56,885 --> 00:34:59,597
Kitka — a charming acronym.
446
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,932
Thank you, Comrade Wayne.
447
00:35:02,016 --> 00:35:04,184
You know,
the fame of the Wayne Foundation...
448
00:35:04,268 --> 00:35:06,937
is known from Leningrad to Kamchatka.
449
00:35:07,021 --> 00:35:09,732
It works for peace and understanding.
450
00:35:09,815 --> 00:35:14,320
Why, your own picture has appeared
countless times in the Moscow Bugle.
451
00:35:16,363 --> 00:35:18,449
I'm most grateful. I wasn't aware of that.
452
00:35:18,532 --> 00:35:21,869
Oh, da. Da.
453
00:35:21,952 --> 00:35:25,331
You say you found these riddles written
on Wayne Foundation stationery...
454
00:35:25,414 --> 00:35:28,000
slipped under the door of your
borrowed penthouse apartment?
455
00:35:28,083 --> 00:35:32,171
Yes, Comrade Wayne.
That is why I brought them to you.
456
00:35:32,254 --> 00:35:34,715
At first,
I thought it was some foolishness.
457
00:35:34,798 --> 00:35:36,842
But then I remembered —
458
00:35:36,925 --> 00:35:40,596
ls there not a bourgeois criminal cat
in this country called the Riddler...
459
00:35:40,679 --> 00:35:42,765
who preys upon the workers of America?
460
00:35:42,848 --> 00:35:45,476
- Your jargon is quaint, Miss Kitka.
- [CHUCKLES]
461
00:35:45,559 --> 00:35:48,937
But, uh, there is such a creature,
I believe.
462
00:35:49,021 --> 00:35:51,357
Well, what do we do now...
463
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,942
report these riddles to your police or —
464
00:35:54,026 --> 00:35:56,612
or perhaps to that masked Cossack Batman?
465
00:35:56,695 --> 00:36:00,199
Well, that's hardly necessary
at the moment.
466
00:36:00,282 --> 00:36:02,910
Doubtless it's the work of
some harmless crank.
467
00:36:07,206 --> 00:36:10,542
Nevertheless, shall we give this matter...
468
00:36:10,626 --> 00:36:13,420
further consideration over dinner tonight?
469
00:36:14,588 --> 00:36:19,718
Oh, what a purr-fectly lovely idea.
470
00:36:19,802 --> 00:36:22,221
I'll telephone, if you'll excuse me...
471
00:36:22,304 --> 00:36:24,556
to cancel a previous engagement.
472
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:27,059
Alfred will see you to the door.
473
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,484
Do vechara.
474
00:36:42,074 --> 00:36:44,993
Do vechara, Comrade Wayne.
475
00:36:45,077 --> 00:36:47,121
- Oh, Alfred.
- Yes, sir?
476
00:36:47,204 --> 00:36:49,331
See Miss Kitka out, please.
Take the service elevator.
477
00:36:49,415 --> 00:36:52,960
- Meet me in the Batcave. Emergency.
- Very good, sir. Yes.
478
00:37:10,144 --> 00:37:12,730
Robin, listen to these riddles.
479
00:37:12,813 --> 00:37:14,857
Tell me if you interpret them as I do.
480
00:37:14,940 --> 00:37:17,568
One. What has yellow skin and writes?
481
00:37:17,735 --> 00:37:20,362
- A ballpoint banana.
- Right.
482
00:37:20,446 --> 00:37:23,157
Two.
What people are always in a hurry?
483
00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:27,161
Rushing people? Russians.
484
00:37:27,244 --> 00:37:30,539
Right again.
Now, what would you say they mean?
485
00:37:30,622 --> 00:37:35,169
Banana. Russian. I've got it!
486
00:37:35,252 --> 00:37:38,297
Someone Russian is gonna slip on
a banana peel and break their neck.
487
00:37:38,380 --> 00:37:41,759
Precisely, Robin —
the only possible meaning.
488
00:37:41,842 --> 00:37:44,219
A clear threat to Miss Kitka's life.
489
00:37:44,303 --> 00:37:46,722
- Who?
- Miss Kitka.
490
00:37:46,805 --> 00:37:50,559
The charming Russian journalist
for the Moscow Bugle.
491
00:37:50,642 --> 00:37:56,106
In some baffling way, she must have
unwittingly stumbled on the criminals' plot.
492
00:37:58,484 --> 00:38:00,569
What is the scheme, sir?
493
00:38:00,652 --> 00:38:04,490
Tonight, Bruce Wayne will go out
on the town with Miss Kitka.
494
00:38:04,573 --> 00:38:06,784
A not displeasing chore, sir.
495
00:38:06,867 --> 00:38:09,286
Indeed, Alfred. I've rarely met a girl...
496
00:38:09,369 --> 00:38:14,124
who is such a potent argument
in favor of international relations.
497
00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:17,211
However, you and Robin will dog
our footsteps in the Batmobile.
498
00:38:17,294 --> 00:38:20,798
- You'll keep constant watch via the micro-TV bat scanner.
- [ROBIN] Sure.
499
00:38:20,881 --> 00:38:23,258
If the Riddler tries to make good
on his filthy threat —
500
00:38:23,342 --> 00:38:25,427
I'll bash him brutally.
501
00:38:25,511 --> 00:38:28,639
- Then we close in for the kill with the police.
- Precisely.
502
00:38:28,722 --> 00:38:31,308
- Alfred, do you have your driver's license?
- In my wallet, sir.
503
00:38:31,391 --> 00:38:34,812
Good man. Drive carefully.
Good luck. Good hunting.
504
00:38:34,895 --> 00:38:37,731
This may prove to be
a most memorable night.
505
00:38:38,857 --> 00:38:41,985
[STEAM HISSING]
506
00:38:46,406 --> 00:38:48,408
[♪ "OCHI CHYORNYE" ♪]
507
00:39:24,987 --> 00:39:30,242
- [♪ SINGING IN FRENCH, ROMANTICLY ♪]
- [♪ ACCORDION PLAYING ♪]
508
00:39:40,210 --> 00:39:42,921
- [♪ SINGING CONTINUES ♪]
- [♪ ACCORDION CONTINUES ♪]
509
00:40:16,079 --> 00:40:22,210
This curtain which separates
our countries is so foolish.
510
00:40:22,294 --> 00:40:25,797
If we could just contrive some way...
511
00:40:25,881 --> 00:40:30,260
of getting more deeply
involved with each other.
512
00:40:30,344 --> 00:40:32,387
Oh, da.
513
00:40:32,471 --> 00:40:35,766
Da.
We must search for such a method.
514
00:40:44,775 --> 00:40:47,486
[WHISPERING INDISTICTLY]
515
00:40:50,113 --> 00:40:52,950
- [FLIPS SWITCH]
- [WHISPERING ON SPEAKER, STOPS]
516
00:40:53,033 --> 00:40:55,786
I don't think it's right for us to
listen in to this, Alfred.
517
00:40:55,869 --> 00:40:59,706
I mean, some things have to be private,
even for a crime fighter.
518
00:40:59,790 --> 00:41:05,087
Your discretion is admirable,
Master Robin. Yes.
519
00:41:05,170 --> 00:41:08,882
- Time for another check-in, is it not, Master Robin?
- Roger.
520
00:41:08,966 --> 00:41:11,051
- [BEEPING]
- Commissioner.
521
00:41:11,134 --> 00:41:14,346
Yes? Oh.
[COUGHS]
522
00:41:14,429 --> 00:41:16,515
Yes, Boy Wonder?
523
00:41:16,598 --> 00:41:20,018
Batmobile position:
Gotham Central Park...
524
00:41:20,102 --> 00:41:22,396
proceeding south on West Drive.
525
00:41:22,479 --> 00:41:25,148
About to pass Benedict Arnold Monument.
526
00:41:25,232 --> 00:41:28,318
Great Scott. Still in the park?
527
00:41:28,402 --> 00:41:31,196
It's been almost an hour.
What the devil are they doing?
528
00:41:32,864 --> 00:41:34,908
No comment, Commissioner.
529
00:41:34,992 --> 00:41:38,412
Let's just say,
no sign of criminal activity.
530
00:41:38,495 --> 00:41:42,082
Uh, yes, I understand.
531
00:41:42,165 --> 00:41:46,169
I've just thought of a clever ruse,
Commissioner.
532
00:41:46,253 --> 00:41:49,506
Send Chief O'Hara up to the roof
and have him flash the bat signal.
533
00:41:49,589 --> 00:41:52,300
Well, certainly, if you say so,
Boy Wonder. But why?
534
00:41:52,384 --> 00:41:56,513
When the crooks see it, they'll figure
Batman and I are racing to headquarters.
535
00:41:56,596 --> 00:41:59,307
Thinking we're out of the way
might make them play into our hands...
536
00:41:59,391 --> 00:42:01,518
with an immediate strike at Miss Kitka.
537
00:42:01,601 --> 00:42:03,854
Clever. Devilishly clever.
538
00:42:03,937 --> 00:42:07,190
Thank you, sir. Batmobile over and out.
539
00:42:07,274 --> 00:42:09,818
- Right.
- [HANDSET SETTLES IN CRADLE]
540
00:42:09,901 --> 00:42:12,654
Chief O'Hara. Dash to the roof.
Flash the bat signal.
541
00:42:12,738 --> 00:42:14,781
Yes, sir.
542
00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:21,663
[GASPS]
543
00:42:21,747 --> 00:42:23,749
Oh, shades of Smolensk. What is that?
544
00:42:25,125 --> 00:42:27,335
[BRUCE]
Incredible. I don't —
545
00:42:27,419 --> 00:42:30,088
Ah, of course.
546
00:42:30,172 --> 00:42:33,550
- How clever.
- Clever, Comrade Wayne?
547
00:42:33,633 --> 00:42:37,387
I mean clever device, Miss Kitka.
548
00:42:37,471 --> 00:42:41,141
It's the famous bat signal flashed
from the roof of police headquarters.
549
00:42:41,224 --> 00:42:41,756
Oh.
550
00:42:41,780 --> 00:42:44,936
Batman and Robin must be
racing there now in response to it.
551
00:42:45,020 --> 00:42:47,689
Then you did get the police
to call them in...
552
00:42:47,773 --> 00:42:50,776
for my protection.
- Hmm?
553
00:42:50,859 --> 00:42:53,820
- Yes. Yes.
- Oh.
554
00:42:53,904 --> 00:42:58,867
How purr-fectly wonderful of you.
555
00:42:58,950 --> 00:43:01,703
Mmm! I close my eyes...
556
00:43:01,787 --> 00:43:04,831
and I dream of all those
savage Cossacks...
557
00:43:04,915 --> 00:43:08,585
racing over the steppes
on their brutal mission.
558
00:43:08,668 --> 00:43:11,630
Mmm.
559
00:43:11,713 --> 00:43:14,341
How strange.
560
00:43:14,424 --> 00:43:19,054
I close my eyes,
and I dream of something...
561
00:43:19,137 --> 00:43:22,599
quite astonishingly different.
562
00:43:24,351 --> 00:43:29,439
Da, da.
Keep your eyes closed.
563
00:43:29,523 --> 00:43:32,275
Continue with this dream.
564
00:43:37,781 --> 00:43:40,617
[BRUCE]
The dream continues.
565
00:43:40,700 --> 00:43:43,120
Da. Da.
566
00:43:48,333 --> 00:43:51,294
[MEOWING: MORSE CODE]
567
00:43:51,378 --> 00:43:54,089
- It approaches a climax.
- No. Nyet.
568
00:43:54,172 --> 00:43:58,135
Not so fast.
Be more slow.
569
00:44:01,805 --> 00:44:05,183
- Miss Kitka.
- Hmm?
570
00:44:05,267 --> 00:44:08,562
May I see you home to that
borrowed penthouse apartment?
571
00:44:16,194 --> 00:44:18,321
- [MEOWING: MORSE CODE]
- He swallowed the cat bait.
572
00:44:18,405 --> 00:44:21,449
[LAUGHS]
And now to make him bat bait.
573
00:44:21,533 --> 00:44:25,036
Finks Morgan, Bluebeard and Quetch,
break out the jet-pack umbrellas.
574
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,205
- [FINKS] Yo-ho-ho, sir!
- [QUACKS]
575
00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:49,603
Excuse me.
576
00:44:49,686 --> 00:44:53,690
I'll slip into something more comfortable
while your cocoa is warming.
577
00:44:53,773 --> 00:44:55,859
[MURMURS]
578
00:45:11,750 --> 00:45:13,835
[FLIPS SWITCH]
579
00:45:13,919 --> 00:45:16,004
Is that prudent, Master Robin?
580
00:45:16,087 --> 00:45:18,965
Our instructions were to keep watch.
581
00:45:19,049 --> 00:45:21,134
I don't know about prudent, Alfred...
582
00:45:21,218 --> 00:45:24,137
but it's sure as heck
the only decent thing to do.
583
00:45:24,221 --> 00:45:27,515
Hmm. Perhaps.
584
00:45:27,599 --> 00:45:30,685
Yes. Yes.
585
00:45:30,769 --> 00:45:33,521
[ENGINES WHIRRING]
586
00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:36,942
[QUACKING]
587
00:45:38,652 --> 00:45:41,154
[CACKLING]
588
00:45:46,785 --> 00:45:49,913
- [QUACKING]
- Ah! There it is!
589
00:45:49,996 --> 00:45:54,292
Seventy-third Street and Concord Avenue.
[GIGGLES]
590
00:45:54,376 --> 00:45:57,504
Follow me.
Down to the terrace.
591
00:45:57,587 --> 00:46:00,298
- [RIDDLER] Ho!
- [JOKER CACKLING]
592
00:46:16,982 --> 00:46:19,693
"And all my days are trances...
593
00:46:19,776 --> 00:46:24,489
and all my nightly dreams are
where thy dark eye glances...
594
00:46:24,572 --> 00:46:28,952
and where thy footstep gleams."
595
00:46:29,035 --> 00:46:32,872
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
...Comrade Wayne.
596
00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:36,543
Edgar Allan Poe, Miss Kitka.
597
00:46:36,626 --> 00:46:39,963
"To One in Paradise."
First stanza.
598
00:46:41,756 --> 00:46:45,677
About that dream you had.
599
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,179
- Do we dare?
- Why not?
600
00:46:49,222 --> 00:46:51,308
Yes, of course.
Why not?
601
00:46:51,391 --> 00:46:55,729
Of what use is a dream if not a
blueprint for courageous action?
602
00:46:55,812 --> 00:47:01,192
Oh! Into action, comrade. Mmm!
603
00:47:01,276 --> 00:47:05,363
Miss Kitka, I have the strangest feeling...
604
00:47:05,447 --> 00:47:09,951
that I am about to be utterly
and madly carried away.
605
00:47:11,494 --> 00:47:13,872
- [FOOTSTEPS SHUFFLING]
- [DOOR BURSTS OPEN]
606
00:47:13,955 --> 00:47:16,499
- Aha! Aha!
- This is a kidnapping!
607
00:47:16,583 --> 00:47:18,668
Our joke's on you!
[CACKLES]
608
00:47:18,752 --> 00:47:22,922
- [RIDDLER GIGGLES]
- You filthy criminals.
609
00:47:26,885 --> 00:47:29,804
[ALL GRUNTING, GROANING]
610
00:47:37,562 --> 00:47:39,773
[HISSING]
611
00:47:52,494 --> 00:47:55,205
[CACKLING, GIGGLING, LAUGHING]
612
00:48:01,169 --> 00:48:03,254
[EXHALES]
613
00:48:07,675 --> 00:48:11,096
- Much as one deplores indiscretion, Master Robin —
- You're right, Alfred.
614
00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:14,349
I'll just take one tiny, tiny peek.
[FLIPS SWITCH]
615
00:48:16,434 --> 00:48:19,229
- [GASPS] Holy demolition!
- Bless my dustpan!
616
00:48:19,312 --> 00:48:21,856
Cover the exits, Alfred.
I'll race up there with my bat rope.
617
00:48:21,940 --> 00:48:23,900
- Very good, sir.
- [ENGINES WHIRRING]
618
00:48:23,983 --> 00:48:26,820
Holy Halloween!
619
00:48:26,903 --> 00:48:30,240
[GIGGLING]
620
00:48:32,242 --> 00:48:36,579
[CATWOMAN YOWLING]
621
00:48:36,663 --> 00:48:39,124
[LAUGHING]
622
00:48:52,220 --> 00:48:55,765
Huh! Strange. Batman should
have been here hours ago.
623
00:48:55,849 --> 00:48:58,685
Perhaps you didn't leave a clear enough
clue in your apartment.
624
00:48:58,768 --> 00:49:03,022
Of course I did. I can't understand why
Batman hasn't dashed into our trap.
625
00:49:03,106 --> 00:49:05,316
[CACKLING]
It's all set.
626
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,403
He puts his foot here,
my secret jack-in-the-box fires...
627
00:49:08,486 --> 00:49:11,239
shooting him out through the window,
out over the sea...
628
00:49:11,322 --> 00:49:14,284
into the waiting arms of
Penguin's exploding octopus.
629
00:49:14,367 --> 00:49:18,163
[CACKLING]
What a deliciously humorous trajectory.
630
00:49:18,246 --> 00:49:20,915
And nothing to link us with the crime.
631
00:49:20,999 --> 00:49:24,461
[GIGGLING, QUACKING, YOWLING]
632
00:49:27,881 --> 00:49:30,216
You abominable outlaws.
633
00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:32,343
What have you done with Miss Kitka?
634
00:49:32,427 --> 00:49:36,097
She's quite well, Mr. Wayne.
635
00:49:36,181 --> 00:49:40,018
I swear, by heaven,
if you've harmed that girl...
636
00:49:41,186 --> 00:49:43,938
I'll kill you all.
637
00:49:44,022 --> 00:49:46,649
I'll rend you limb from limb!
638
00:49:46,733 --> 00:49:48,651
[QUACKS]
639
00:49:48,735 --> 00:49:52,030
[CACKLING]
640
00:49:52,113 --> 00:49:55,366
Mr. Wayne, must you be so impulsive?
641
00:49:55,450 --> 00:49:59,412
- [GIGGLING]
- [QUACKING]
642
00:50:02,874 --> 00:50:05,627
Where is she, Catwoman?
Show me Miss Kitka...
643
00:50:05,710 --> 00:50:08,630
or I'll wreck this place with my dying breath!
644
00:50:08,713 --> 00:50:12,050
Blindfold the captive.
645
00:50:12,133 --> 00:50:15,929
Lead him down the
labyrinthine path to Chamber 17.
646
00:50:16,012 --> 00:50:19,098
[CACKLING]
647
00:50:19,182 --> 00:50:21,726
[QUACKING]
648
00:50:23,937 --> 00:50:26,981
[LAUGHING]
649
00:50:27,065 --> 00:50:29,609
[QUACKING]
650
00:50:32,195 --> 00:50:35,198
- Two minutes. No more.
- [QUACKS]
651
00:50:35,281 --> 00:50:38,451
[CACKLING]
652
00:50:38,535 --> 00:50:40,620
- Turn on the secret microphone.
- Yo-ho!
653
00:50:40,703 --> 00:50:41,955
Quiet. Quiet.
654
00:50:43,456 --> 00:50:45,708
- Miss Kitka.
- Comrade Wayne.
655
00:50:45,792 --> 00:50:49,837
- Are you all right?
- Da. Da.
656
00:50:49,921 --> 00:50:52,882
I'll curse myself forever, Miss Kitka.
657
00:50:52,966 --> 00:50:55,927
This nasty soup we're in is
largely of my own brewing.
658
00:51:01,307 --> 00:51:05,478
If I hadn't let your beauty lull me off guard —
659
00:51:05,562 --> 00:51:07,855
Off guard, comrade?
660
00:51:07,939 --> 00:51:11,317
There are some things
I cannot disclose, Miss Kitka.
661
00:51:11,401 --> 00:51:14,946
Suffice it to say that we're in the hands
of the underworld's most vicious foursome.
662
00:51:15,029 --> 00:51:17,448
[On Speaker]
I fear we have...
663
00:51:17,532 --> 00:51:20,493
nothing to look forward to but death.
664
00:51:26,624 --> 00:51:29,627
It may not be that black,
Comrade Wayne.
665
00:51:29,711 --> 00:51:32,922
Batman and Robin are
probably hot on our trail.
666
00:51:33,006 --> 00:51:36,092
From something I happened to overhear...
667
00:51:36,175 --> 00:51:39,596
I think we are merely bait for Batman.
668
00:51:39,679 --> 00:51:42,682
Once he is in their trap,
we will be released.
669
00:51:42,765 --> 00:51:45,810
A slender hope, Miss Kitka.
670
00:51:45,893 --> 00:51:48,813
More slender than you can know.
671
00:51:48,896 --> 00:51:51,608
You do not think Batman will get here?
672
00:51:53,318 --> 00:51:55,570
That I cannot say.
673
00:51:55,653 --> 00:51:58,281
Tell me.
Did you overhear any mention...
674
00:51:58,364 --> 00:52:01,200
of any other prisoner
of this rotten gang?
675
00:52:01,284 --> 00:52:04,037
No, I did not, Mr. Wayne.
676
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,914
- [EXHALES]
- Who on earth could you mean?
677
00:52:06,998 --> 00:52:09,876
[BELL RINGS]
678
00:52:09,959 --> 00:52:12,670
Commodore Schmidlapp ringing for his tea.
679
00:52:12,754 --> 00:52:15,298
Oh, just a thought. It doesn't matter.
680
00:52:15,381 --> 00:52:17,717
A speedy escape is our only hope.
681
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,345
A moment while I think.
682
00:52:20,428 --> 00:52:23,806
- [BELL RINGS]
- I've got it. Why didn't I think of it sooner?
683
00:52:23,890 --> 00:52:25,975
Of what, Comrade Wayne?
684
00:52:26,059 --> 00:52:28,102
Up my left sleeve...
685
00:52:28,186 --> 00:52:30,938
I have a tiny radio transmitter
strapped above my elbow.
686
00:52:31,022 --> 00:52:34,484
- What a curious device to carry.
- Not at all, Miss Kitka.
687
00:52:34,567 --> 00:52:36,861
Capitalists like myself who
carry large sums of money...
688
00:52:36,944 --> 00:52:39,364
often have such safety contrivances.
689
00:52:39,447 --> 00:52:41,908
If I can just get at it.
690
00:52:43,284 --> 00:52:46,287
Quickly. Wiggle around back to back.
691
00:52:46,371 --> 00:52:48,915
Maybe you can reach it with your fingers.
692
00:52:51,042 --> 00:52:53,086
Da.
693
00:52:54,796 --> 00:52:56,798
Let's get him.
694
00:52:58,257 --> 00:53:01,260
[CACKLING]
There we are.
695
00:53:01,344 --> 00:53:04,389
You think you're pretty clever,
don't you, Mr. Wayne?
696
00:53:04,472 --> 00:53:06,474
Clever enough to outwit you,
you stupid thug.
697
00:53:06,557 --> 00:53:08,559
Well, we'll see about that.
698
00:53:08,643 --> 00:53:11,396
Dear colleagues,
let's see what's strapped...
699
00:53:11,479 --> 00:53:14,273
about this fellow's left elbow, shall we?
[CACKLES]
700
00:53:16,275 --> 00:53:18,277
[BRUCE] Credulous creatures!
701
00:53:18,361 --> 00:53:20,571
I knew you'd be listening in.
702
00:53:20,655 --> 00:53:24,200
I told you that fish story about a radio —
703
00:53:36,546 --> 00:53:38,297
Get him, you mollycoddles!
704
00:53:52,061 --> 00:53:54,355
[SCREAMING]
705
00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:06,033
[GRUNTS]
706
00:54:06,117 --> 00:54:08,661
[ALL GRUNTING]
707
00:54:08,745 --> 00:54:12,623
Miss — Miss Kitka, where are you?
708
00:54:12,707 --> 00:54:16,461
[GRUNTING CONTINUES]
709
00:54:41,903 --> 00:54:44,280
- Great day in the morning!
- Bruce!
- Hello, Commissioner.
710
00:54:44,363 --> 00:54:47,116
Come on, Dick. We're late for that
important demonstration at the fish hatchery.
711
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,285
- Roger.
- Excuse us, Commissioner.
712
00:54:49,368 --> 00:54:52,205
Great Scott! You can't dash off now.
Where were you held? How did you escape?
713
00:54:52,288 --> 00:54:54,332
I escaped with the aid of Batman.
714
00:54:54,415 --> 00:54:56,501
Thank goodness the Caped Crusader
got there in time!
715
00:54:56,584 --> 00:54:58,878
Yes, Commissioner, and you'd better
return to police headquarters.
716
00:54:58,961 --> 00:55:01,172
He may wish to call you there.
Good day, Commissioner.
717
00:55:27,657 --> 00:55:30,076
[ENGINE STARTS]
718
00:55:30,159 --> 00:55:32,203
[TIRES SCREECH]
719
00:55:39,418 --> 00:55:42,088
And so, my fine, "finkish" friends...
720
00:55:42,171 --> 00:55:44,966
you have heard my astounding proposal.
721
00:55:45,049 --> 00:55:47,385
What do you say?
[QUACKING]
722
00:55:47,468 --> 00:55:49,679
What do you say?
723
00:55:49,762 --> 00:55:52,390
One thing is certain.
Our strike cannot be postponed.
724
00:55:52,473 --> 00:55:55,101
We're at the mercy of the
Gotham River tide.
725
00:55:55,184 --> 00:55:57,937
[CACKLING]
Riddler's right for once.
726
00:55:58,020 --> 00:56:00,314
It's now or never if we're to
get through the channel.
727
00:56:00,398 --> 00:56:03,860
Well, make up your minds!
The Batman will never come here now.
728
00:56:03,943 --> 00:56:06,153
But the police will — any instant.
729
00:56:06,237 --> 00:56:09,699
So, to the Penguin's princely plan...
730
00:56:09,782 --> 00:56:11,784
is it yes or no?
731
00:56:11,868 --> 00:56:14,829
I say it's crazy.
732
00:56:14,912 --> 00:56:18,791
But I say let's try it. We have to do something
to get Batman out of the way.
733
00:56:18,875 --> 00:56:21,127
Oh, go ahead, Penguin.
734
00:56:21,210 --> 00:56:25,298
Mr. Joker, would you drop one of
your little dream pills...
735
00:56:25,381 --> 00:56:27,383
into Commodore Schmidlapp's tea?
736
00:56:27,466 --> 00:56:30,553
- Mmm! Presto!
- And then carry him down to the submarine.
737
00:56:30,636 --> 00:56:32,847
- Yo-ho!
- [QUACKS]
738
00:56:32,930 --> 00:56:36,267
Mr. Riddler, will you tell Mr. Quetch...
739
00:56:36,350 --> 00:56:40,271
...to fetch the five guinea pigs?
- Ah!
740
00:56:41,314 --> 00:56:43,316
[PENGUIN QUACKING]
741
00:56:43,399 --> 00:56:46,152
- Quetch, fetch the five guinea pigs.
- Yo-ho!
742
00:56:46,235 --> 00:56:50,656
[QUACKING CONTINUES]
743
00:56:50,740 --> 00:56:53,659
- Oh. Oh.
- [QUACKS, LAUGHS]
744
00:56:53,743 --> 00:56:56,704
- [QUACKING]
- [RIDDLER GIGGLING]
745
00:57:02,001 --> 00:57:03,794
[ALL]
Yo-ho-ho, sir!
746
00:57:03,878 --> 00:57:06,839
- Now, my fine, fishy finks...
- [GIGGLES]
747
00:57:06,923 --> 00:57:10,384
you see here Commodore Schmidlapp's
pièce de no résistance —
748
00:57:10,468 --> 00:57:13,095
an instant whiskey maker.
749
00:57:13,179 --> 00:57:17,683
[GIGGLING] Waiting for us to
put it to more universal use.
750
00:57:17,767 --> 00:57:20,770
[CHUCKLES, CLEARS THROAT]
Now, don't be afraid.
751
00:57:20,853 --> 00:57:23,314
You will feel nothing.
752
00:57:23,397 --> 00:57:27,902
Now I am merely going to
temporarily extract...
753
00:57:27,985 --> 00:57:30,237
every bit of moisture from your body.
754
00:57:30,321 --> 00:57:33,866
[QUACKING LAUGH]
It's a painless operation.
755
00:57:36,577 --> 00:57:38,037
- [PENGUIN QUACKS]
- Oh!
756
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:40,039
[PENGUIN EXCLAIMS]
757
00:57:41,582 --> 00:57:45,544
- [PENGUIN QUACKING]
- [RIDDLER GIGGLES]
758
00:57:49,215 --> 00:57:51,133
- [RIDDLER GIGGLING]
- [PENGUIN QUACKING]
759
00:57:54,220 --> 00:57:55,721
[GIGGLING]
760
00:57:58,307 --> 00:58:04,522
- [QUACKING LOUDLY]
- [GIGGLING]
761
00:58:05,648 --> 00:58:09,193
- Delightful!
- Dehydrated.
762
00:58:09,276 --> 00:58:12,738
Catwoman —
Catwoman, will you get a dustpan...
763
00:58:12,822 --> 00:58:16,909
and put every one of them
very carefully into a separate vial?
764
00:58:16,993 --> 00:58:20,204
- Ooh! All right.
- [QUACKING]
765
00:58:20,287 --> 00:58:24,625
Mr. Riddler, would you prepare
the submarine to get underway...
766
00:58:24,709 --> 00:58:27,461
while I prepare a demolition charge...
767
00:58:27,545 --> 00:58:30,256
of terrifying thrust to welcome the police?
768
00:58:30,339 --> 00:58:32,299
- Where do we meet?
- United World Building.
769
00:58:32,383 --> 00:58:34,093
- United World Building.
- On the Gotham East River.
770
00:58:34,176 --> 00:58:35,720
- East River.
- Thirty-ninth floor.
771
00:58:35,803 --> 00:58:37,596
- Thirty-ninth floor.
- I'll be waiting at the elevator.
772
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:39,015
- One hour? One hour.
- One hour.
773
00:58:39,098 --> 00:58:42,351
[QUACKING]
Here you are.
774
00:58:42,435 --> 00:58:46,397
Oh, what mere criminal genius, Catwoman!
775
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:50,609
Who else but a genius could
conceive such an audacious plot...
776
00:58:50,693 --> 00:58:53,988
to deliberately trick Batman and Robin...
777
00:58:54,071 --> 00:58:56,949
into inviting me into their secret Batcave...
778
00:58:57,033 --> 00:59:01,746
with five dehydrated,
death-dealing pirates at my command?
779
00:59:01,829 --> 00:59:03,831
- [QUACKING]
- [MEOWS]
780
00:59:03,914 --> 00:59:07,209
Careful, careful.
[QUACKING]
781
00:59:07,293 --> 00:59:09,295
Every one of them has a mother.
782
00:59:17,636 --> 00:59:19,972
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
783
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:38,074
Out batarang and bat rope.
Stand clear.
784
00:59:49,460 --> 00:59:52,838
[PANTING]
785
00:59:52,922 --> 00:59:55,966
When you think, Batman,
with people in weird outfits —
786
00:59:56,050 --> 00:59:58,260
like the four supercrooks
hanging around here —
787
00:59:58,344 --> 01:00:02,515
it's amazing someone hasn't already
reported this place to the police.
788
01:00:02,598 --> 01:00:07,061
It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots.
789
01:00:07,144 --> 01:00:10,815
They're used to curious sights,
which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.
790
01:00:10,898 --> 01:00:13,067
Gosh, drinking's sure a filthy thing, isn't it?
791
01:00:13,150 --> 01:00:15,284
I'd rather be dead than
unable to trust my own eyes.
792
01:00:15,308 --> 01:00:16,278
Uh-huh.
793
01:00:22,952 --> 01:00:26,080
You're right, honey.
There was somebody walking up the wall.
794
01:00:40,594 --> 01:00:44,098
Ready with super blinding bat pellets.
795
01:00:46,183 --> 01:00:48,477
- Away, Robin. Away!
- But — But —
796
01:00:54,024 --> 01:00:57,153
Come on, Batman! Batman!
797
01:01:01,532 --> 01:01:04,243
Miss Kitka! Miss Ki —
798
01:01:14,253 --> 01:01:18,340
[♪ "BRINGING IN THE SHEAVES" ♪]
799
01:01:18,424 --> 01:01:21,135
Oh!
[MUTTERS]
800
01:01:27,766 --> 01:01:31,896
[PATRONS LAUGHING, SHOUTING]
801
01:01:31,979 --> 01:01:34,815
Quick!
Everyone, flee for your lives!
802
01:01:34,899 --> 01:01:36,984
- [SCREAMING]
- Into the street!
803
01:01:39,361 --> 01:01:41,906
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
804
01:01:44,825 --> 01:01:46,535
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
805
01:01:51,373 --> 01:01:55,753
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
806
01:02:04,553 --> 01:02:07,848
[♪ HYMN CONTINUES ♪]
807
01:02:30,454 --> 01:02:33,582
- Look out! Look out, please!
- [WOMAN SHRIEKS]
808
01:02:53,936 --> 01:02:57,273
[♪ HYMN ♪]
809
01:03:01,443 --> 01:03:04,780
[CHEEPING]
810
01:03:07,700 --> 01:03:10,286
Some days,
you just can't get rid of a bomb.
811
01:03:15,207 --> 01:03:18,127
[EXPLOSION]
812
01:03:29,972 --> 01:03:32,599
Batman!
813
01:03:32,683 --> 01:03:35,602
Batman!
814
01:03:35,686 --> 01:03:37,730
It's all right, Robin.
815
01:03:37,813 --> 01:03:39,857
Holy heart failure!
816
01:03:39,940 --> 01:03:43,944
Fortunately, I was able to dispose
of that bomb in the nick of time...
817
01:03:44,028 --> 01:03:47,656
and shield myself behind
these heavy iron pipes.
818
01:03:47,740 --> 01:03:51,618
You risked your life to
save that riff-raff in the bar?
819
01:03:51,702 --> 01:03:55,914
They may be drinkers, Robin,
but they're also human beings...
820
01:03:55,998 --> 01:03:58,459
and may be salvaged.
821
01:03:58,542 --> 01:04:00,627
I had to do it.
822
01:04:00,711 --> 01:04:05,966
But we've lost the trail of that angelic Miss Kitka.
Stranded without a clue.
823
01:04:06,091 --> 01:04:08,093
[IMITATING COMMODORE]
Ahoy there.
824
01:04:08,177 --> 01:04:10,220
Could you chaps direct me to a policeman?
825
01:04:10,304 --> 01:04:12,806
Commodore Schmidlapp's the name.
826
01:04:12,890 --> 01:04:16,685
Big Ben Distilleries, you know.
827
01:04:16,769 --> 01:04:19,772
Holy costume party. That's the Penguin.
828
01:04:19,855 --> 01:04:22,232
- Obviously.
- What's his game? I wonder.
829
01:04:22,316 --> 01:04:24,443
What's your game, Penguin?
830
01:04:24,526 --> 01:04:27,363
Penguin?
[QUACKING]
831
01:04:27,446 --> 01:04:30,532
No, my name's Schmidlapp,
old boy. Schmidlapp.
832
01:04:30,616 --> 01:04:34,036
Your fingerprints will settle that hash, Penguin.
833
01:04:34,119 --> 01:04:38,290
We'll check them against our mobile
anti-crime file in our Batmobile.
834
01:04:39,750 --> 01:04:43,921
- Let's see your hands.
- [QUACKING]
835
01:04:44,004 --> 01:04:46,757
Looks like... plastic-coated fingertips.
836
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:50,469
Yes, I scorched myself pressing a waist coast.
837
01:04:50,552 --> 01:04:54,640
I do believe that the attending surgeon
did use plastic, yes.
838
01:04:56,850 --> 01:05:01,772
It looks bad, Batman.
This brassy bird has us buffaloed.
839
01:05:01,855 --> 01:05:03,982
Not quite, Robin.
840
01:05:04,066 --> 01:05:08,070
There's one method of identification
which no criminal can evade.
841
01:05:08,153 --> 01:05:11,573
Retinal eye patterns?
842
01:05:11,657 --> 01:05:15,160
He's right, Robin.
The pattern of myriad, tiny blood vessels...
843
01:05:15,244 --> 01:05:18,831
in the retina of the eye —
as individual as a fingerprint.
844
01:05:18,914 --> 01:05:23,460
But don't you have a complete
anti-criminal eye pattern master file...
845
01:05:23,544 --> 01:05:25,671
in your fabulous Batcave?
846
01:05:25,754 --> 01:05:30,050
- Why don't you take me there?
- You'd be willing to submit yourself to a test?
847
01:05:30,134 --> 01:05:34,388
Why, of course. It might be an
amusing experience, don't you know?
848
01:05:34,471 --> 01:05:38,308
Stand by to catch him, Robin.
I'll give him the bat gas.
849
01:05:38,392 --> 01:05:40,519
Oh-ho, what's that? Ba-Bat gas?
850
01:05:40,602 --> 01:05:43,480
A harmless anesthetic...
851
01:05:43,564 --> 01:05:47,151
necessary to prevent you from seeing
the entrance to the Batcave.
852
01:05:47,234 --> 01:05:51,488
If anyone knew that, they could pierce
the secret of our true identities.
853
01:05:51,572 --> 01:05:53,657
Ready, Commodore?
854
01:05:53,740 --> 01:05:59,163
Oh, I say. What deucedly strange customs
you colonials have. [CHUCKLES] What?
855
01:05:59,246 --> 01:06:01,331
Well, I'm ready.
856
01:06:04,418 --> 01:06:06,420
[SPRAYS]
857
01:06:08,714 --> 01:06:11,842
To the Batmobile. This could be
the break we've been looking for.
858
01:06:13,385 --> 01:06:15,888
[TIRES SCREECHING]
859
01:06:20,934 --> 01:06:23,270
[Brakes Squeal]
860
01:06:23,353 --> 01:06:25,355
He's the Penguin, all right.
861
01:06:25,439 --> 01:06:28,150
- I wonder why he let us bring him here.
- We'll soon find out.
862
01:06:28,233 --> 01:06:31,236
- I'll set up the anti-crime eye checker.
- Stay on the alert, Robin.
863
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:35,532
After I give him the bat wake,
we must be ready for anything.
864
01:06:35,616 --> 01:06:37,618
[SNORING]
865
01:06:37,701 --> 01:06:40,954
[GRUNTS, LOUD QUACKING]
866
01:06:41,038 --> 01:06:43,332
[DROPS IMITATION]
Well, now.
867
01:06:43,415 --> 01:06:45,751
Oh, it's you.
[CHUCKLES]
868
01:06:45,834 --> 01:06:48,545
We're here, eh? I see.
869
01:06:48,629 --> 01:06:51,882
[RESUMES IMITATION]
Oh, I s — This —
870
01:06:51,965 --> 01:06:54,134
Oh, say!
871
01:06:54,218 --> 01:06:56,720
This is extraordinary!
872
01:06:56,803 --> 01:07:00,349
It's absolutely extraordinary!
873
01:07:00,432 --> 01:07:03,060
I must say that your laboratory...
874
01:07:03,143 --> 01:07:07,648
exceeds the limits of man's wildest imagination!
875
01:07:07,731 --> 01:07:10,859
Absolutely. And could I
trouble you for a glass of water?
876
01:07:10,943 --> 01:07:13,237
Your bat gas seems to have
left me with a somewhat...
877
01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:15,322
[SMACKS LIPS]
parched sensation.
878
01:07:15,405 --> 01:07:18,700
Over there. The drinking water
dispenser is clearly marked.
879
01:07:18,784 --> 01:07:21,328
Oh, yeah. Thank you. Thank you, sir.
880
01:07:21,411 --> 01:07:25,249
Thank you very much, sir.
Thank you, sir. [LAUGHS]
881
01:07:25,332 --> 01:07:29,336
Help yourself, Commodore.
Slake your thirst.
882
01:07:29,419 --> 01:07:32,673
You'll have worse than a parched sensation
when we're through with you.
883
01:07:35,467 --> 01:07:41,056
[DROPS IMITATION] Perhaps, perhaps.
But I am appalled by your attitude, sir.
884
01:07:41,139 --> 01:07:47,354
I mean, condemning me before the facts
have been authoritatively established.
885
01:07:47,437 --> 01:07:50,816
Yes. You are abrogating...
886
01:07:50,899 --> 01:07:53,819
my constitutional rights, sir.
887
01:07:53,902 --> 01:07:56,905
- All set, Batman.
- Come on, Penguin.
888
01:07:56,989 --> 01:07:59,992
Time to rip off your false feathers.
889
01:08:02,703 --> 01:08:04,830
Coming, Batman.
890
01:08:04,913 --> 01:08:07,291
I am coming at once.
891
01:08:07,374 --> 01:08:09,585
[QUACKING]
892
01:08:13,213 --> 01:08:17,050
- Holy hallucination!
- I wish it were, Robin, but it's not.
893
01:08:17,134 --> 01:08:19,761
It's five dehydrated pirates — rehydrated.
894
01:08:19,845 --> 01:08:23,849
At 'em, me hearties!
Shiver 'em from stem to stern!
895
01:08:23,932 --> 01:08:26,560
[ALL]
Yo-ho-ho, sir!
896
01:08:26,643 --> 01:08:28,645
[PENGUIN QUACKS]
897
01:08:35,027 --> 01:08:38,155
Attack them, you faltering fink!
898
01:08:39,906 --> 01:08:42,367
[SNIFFS, QUACKS]
899
01:08:42,451 --> 01:08:47,122
The pirates — they're gone!
Popped like balloons! How'd it happen?
900
01:08:47,205 --> 01:08:50,667
Whoever dehydrated those pirates...
901
01:08:50,751 --> 01:08:54,630
could not have foreseen
their accidental rehydration...
902
01:08:54,713 --> 01:08:58,091
with the heavy water we use
in recharging the atomic pile!
903
01:08:58,175 --> 01:09:00,886
Which naturally left them
in a highly unstable condition!
904
01:09:00,969 --> 01:09:03,555
You saw it yourself, Robin.
905
01:09:03,639 --> 01:09:06,933
The slightest impact was sufficient...
906
01:09:07,017 --> 01:09:10,729
to instantly reduce them to antimatter.
907
01:09:10,812 --> 01:09:13,607
Antimatter?
908
01:09:13,690 --> 01:09:15,942
You mean they... won't be coming back?
909
01:09:17,944 --> 01:09:20,072
No, Robin.
910
01:09:20,155 --> 01:09:22,240
Not in this universe.
911
01:09:26,787 --> 01:09:29,247
Let that be an object lesson...
912
01:09:29,331 --> 01:09:32,834
in the dangers of tampering with
the laws of Mother Nature.
913
01:09:34,044 --> 01:09:36,213
My apologies, Commodore Schmidlapp.
914
01:09:36,296 --> 01:09:40,217
It's clear that I've done you
a cruel injustice.
915
01:09:40,300 --> 01:09:44,888
- You have?
- You were duped, brainwashed.
916
01:09:44,971 --> 01:09:49,851
The criminals planted those
dehydrated thugs on your person.
917
01:09:49,935 --> 01:09:52,562
You were obviously under the influence...
918
01:09:52,646 --> 01:09:55,982
of posthypnotic suggestion
when you rehydrated them.
919
01:09:57,484 --> 01:10:00,904
Come on down, Commodore.
920
01:10:00,987 --> 01:10:05,742
Another sniff of bat gas,
and we'll all return to the city.
921
01:10:05,826 --> 01:10:10,080
[QUACKING]
922
01:10:15,460 --> 01:10:18,672
Are you sure you didn't hurt your head
in that fight, Batman?
923
01:10:18,755 --> 01:10:21,842
Perfectly. Swallow this pill.
924
01:10:24,386 --> 01:10:27,597
Now give our friend here
a whiff of bat wake.
925
01:10:29,433 --> 01:10:32,018
[SNORTS, QUACKS]
Good morning.
926
01:10:32,102 --> 01:10:34,104
- [ENGINE SHUDDERS]
- [TIRES SCREECH]
927
01:10:34,187 --> 01:10:36,815
- What's wrong, Batman?
- Manifold pressure's dropping.
928
01:10:36,898 --> 01:10:38,984
I think we'd better stop and check.
929
01:10:40,360 --> 01:10:44,322
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
930
01:10:46,658 --> 01:10:48,660
Sorry about that, Commodore.
931
01:10:48,744 --> 01:10:51,621
- Won't take a minute.
- Oh, yes, it will!
932
01:10:51,705 --> 01:10:54,207
- Hey!
- [GRUMBLES]
933
01:10:54,291 --> 01:10:57,961
[QUACKS]
Yo-ho!
934
01:10:58,044 --> 01:11:02,048
And away we go in my "Birdmobile"!
One side, Caped Crusader.
935
01:11:07,804 --> 01:11:10,056
[TIRES SCREECH]
936
01:11:13,894 --> 01:11:14,368
You okay, Robin?
937
01:11:14,392 --> 01:11:17,439
I sure am, Batman,
thanks to that anti-Penguin gas pill.
938
01:11:17,522 --> 01:11:20,442
The pompous fool.
He's played right into our hands.
939
01:11:20,525 --> 01:11:22,652
Quickly.
Via Batcycle to the Batcopter.
940
01:11:22,736 --> 01:11:25,405
We'll track him to the gang's new hideout.
941
01:11:32,120 --> 01:11:34,122
[ENGINE STARTS]
942
01:11:56,853 --> 01:11:59,481
Disengage go-cart.
943
01:12:12,661 --> 01:12:16,039
Bat scanner tracking
the stolen Batmobile perfectly.
944
01:12:16,122 --> 01:12:19,167
Port, two degrees.
And steady as she goes.
945
01:12:19,251 --> 01:12:21,253
Yo-ho! Port, two degrees!
946
01:12:21,336 --> 01:12:23,380
[CACKLES]
We're almost there.
947
01:12:23,463 --> 01:12:26,716
- Oh. Oh. [GIGGLES]
- Hey, Riddler, where are you going?
948
01:12:26,800 --> 01:12:29,761
To fire off some more
of my riddling clues, of course.
949
01:12:29,845 --> 01:12:31,513
- Riddler!
- Yes?
950
01:12:31,596 --> 01:12:34,182
You're mad, Riddler.
Penguin's finished Batman by now.
951
01:12:34,266 --> 01:12:37,644
That miserable, waddling mountebank of a bird.
952
01:12:37,727 --> 01:12:40,981
He couldn't finish a bag of popcorn.
953
01:12:41,064 --> 01:12:43,149
[GIGGLING]
954
01:12:43,233 --> 01:12:47,779
So, say Penguin failed. All the more reason
not to hand them your crazy clues.
955
01:12:47,863 --> 01:12:51,825
Oh, but I must. I must.
Oh, outwitting Batman is my sole delight...
956
01:12:51,908 --> 01:12:54,202
my joy, my heaven on Earth...
957
01:12:54,286 --> 01:12:57,372
my very paradise.
958
01:12:57,455 --> 01:13:00,208
- [GIGGLING]
- Riddler! Come back!
959
01:13:03,044 --> 01:13:05,630
Stolen Batmobile turning.
960
01:13:05,714 --> 01:13:07,799
Now heading up Gotham River Drive.
961
01:13:12,637 --> 01:13:14,681
Voilà.
962
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:22,105
Batman!
Polaris-type missile coming right for us.
963
01:13:22,188 --> 01:13:24,774
Hold tight, Robin.
This may be tricky.
964
01:13:29,279 --> 01:13:33,158
- Damage?
- The tail rotor disengaged.
965
01:13:33,241 --> 01:13:37,746
Brace yourself, Robin.
We're going down.
966
01:13:37,829 --> 01:13:40,123
This could be the end.
967
01:13:40,206 --> 01:13:43,043
[EXCLAIMS]
Ooh, ooh!
968
01:13:47,213 --> 01:13:50,759
[GIGGLING]
Now to find my riddling Polaris skywriter.
969
01:13:50,842 --> 01:13:53,136
[GIGGLING CONTINUES]
970
01:13:59,976 --> 01:14:03,897
Look! Look! The Dynamic Duo!
971
01:14:03,980 --> 01:14:08,485
[CACKLING, GIGGLING, YOWLING]
972
01:14:08,568 --> 01:14:11,237
I got them. I got them.
973
01:14:22,332 --> 01:14:24,376
[SOFT THUD]
974
01:14:24,459 --> 01:14:26,461
Holy horseshoe!
975
01:14:35,762 --> 01:14:39,099
Some luck, landing right on top
of a bed of foam rubber.
976
01:14:39,182 --> 01:14:41,351
Yes, Robin.
I'd say the odds against it...
977
01:14:41,434 --> 01:14:44,646
would make even the most
reckless gambler cringe.
978
01:14:44,729 --> 01:14:48,316
True, I did think I'd spotted it
out of the corner of my eye.
979
01:14:48,400 --> 01:14:50,902
- [EXPLOSION]
- But —
980
01:14:51,069 --> 01:14:54,280
That crazy missile — It wrote
two more riddles before it blew up.
981
01:14:54,364 --> 01:14:56,366
[BATMAN]
"What goes up white...
982
01:14:56,449 --> 01:14:58,660
and comes down yellow and white"?
983
01:14:58,743 --> 01:15:01,371
An egg!
984
01:15:01,454 --> 01:15:05,417
[BATMAN]
"How do you divide seventeen apples...
985
01:15:05,500 --> 01:15:07,919
among sixteen people?"
986
01:15:08,003 --> 01:15:11,256
- Make applesauce.
- Apples into applesauce —
987
01:15:11,339 --> 01:15:14,384
a unification into one smooth mixture.
988
01:15:14,467 --> 01:15:17,429
An egg — nature's perfect container...
989
01:15:17,512 --> 01:15:19,973
the container of all our hopes for the future.
990
01:15:20,056 --> 01:15:23,059
A unification and a container of hope?
991
01:15:23,143 --> 01:15:25,937
- United World Organization!
- Precisely, Robin!
992
01:15:26,021 --> 01:15:29,190
And there's a special meeting
of the Security Council today.
993
01:15:29,274 --> 01:15:33,528
- If what I fear is true —
- Wow! Let's commandeer a taxi!
994
01:15:33,611 --> 01:15:35,947
No, Robin!
Not at this time of day.
995
01:15:36,031 --> 01:15:38,616
Luckily, we're in tip-top condition.
996
01:15:38,700 --> 01:15:41,578
It'll be faster if we run.
Let's go!
997
01:15:49,669 --> 01:15:53,465
[SONAR PINGING]
998
01:15:53,548 --> 01:15:56,593
We are now passing through the grotto.
999
01:15:56,676 --> 01:16:00,680
- [QUETCH] Depth: a half fathom.
- [BLUEBEARD] Engines: dead slow astern.
1000
01:16:00,764 --> 01:16:03,099
[QUETCH] Yo-ho! Dead slow astern.
1001
01:16:04,267 --> 01:16:07,645
[YOWLING]
1002
01:16:12,692 --> 01:16:15,403
[SONAR PINGING]
1003
01:16:52,732 --> 01:16:54,901
Ah, good. Just as the blueprints said —
1004
01:16:54,984 --> 01:16:56,986
an abandoned construction elevator.
1005
01:16:57,070 --> 01:16:59,906
- Hecate, sniff out the weak spot.
- [GIGGLING]
1006
01:16:59,989 --> 01:17:03,409
[YOWLING]
1007
01:17:03,493 --> 01:17:05,829
- I hope Penguin made it.
- Who needs him?
1008
01:17:07,497 --> 01:17:09,582
- Stand back.
- [YOWLING CONTINUES]
1009
01:17:14,170 --> 01:17:16,214
[CACKLES]
1010
01:17:26,099 --> 01:17:28,101
Hey! Can't you read?
1011
01:17:28,184 --> 01:17:30,270
Fine day for penguins. Looks like rain.
1012
01:17:30,353 --> 01:17:32,480
[QUACKING]
1013
01:17:32,564 --> 01:17:34,816
[QUACKING CONTINUES]
1014
01:17:47,453 --> 01:17:50,456
[QUACKING CONTINUES]
1015
01:17:58,965 --> 01:18:01,217
[QUACKING CONTINUES]
1016
01:18:02,552 --> 01:18:04,554
[GRUNTS]
1017
01:18:10,685 --> 01:18:13,730
Yo-ho! My criminal co-conspirators.
We meet as planned.
1018
01:18:13,813 --> 01:18:17,609
And, no thanks to you,
the Dynamic Duo has been silenced forever.
1019
01:18:17,692 --> 01:18:18,277
[QUACKS]
1020
01:18:18,301 --> 01:18:21,279
And blasted out of the sky
by an incredible coincidence.
1021
01:18:21,362 --> 01:18:24,157
Oh, the delicious irony of it all.
1022
01:18:24,240 --> 01:18:26,451
Downed by one of Riddler's Polaris skywriters.
1023
01:18:26,534 --> 01:18:28,703
- Oh, happy happenstance!
- [CACKLES]
1024
01:18:28,786 --> 01:18:30,872
Now, hold your breath as we cross the hall.
1025
01:18:30,955 --> 01:18:35,001
There are still lingering traces
of my finely filtered Penguin gas.
1026
01:18:35,084 --> 01:18:37,170
- [All Inhale]
- [QUACKS]
1027
01:18:39,881 --> 01:18:43,343
Holy marathon!
I'm getting a stitch, Batman.
1028
01:18:43,426 --> 01:18:47,263
Let's hope it's a stitch in time, Robin,
that saves nine —
1029
01:18:47,347 --> 01:18:50,808
the nine members of the
United World Security Council.
1030
01:18:50,934 --> 01:18:53,895
[ALL ARGUING, SHOUTING]
1031
01:18:53,978 --> 01:18:56,689
- [SPEAKING HEBREW]
- [SPEAKING SPANISH]
1032
01:18:56,773 --> 01:19:01,569
- [SPEAKING FRENCH]
- [SPEAKING AFRICAN LANGUAGE]
1033
01:19:01,653 --> 01:19:04,822
Gentlemen, it is the considered opinion
of Her Majesty's Government...
1034
01:19:04,906 --> 01:19:07,116
that we pursue peace at all costs.
1035
01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:10,328
[ARGUING, SHOUTING]
1036
01:19:17,460 --> 01:19:20,046
Our poor, united world in microcosm.
1037
01:19:20,129 --> 01:19:25,760
[CACKLING] I'm afraid they'll find our
humor very, very dry.
1038
01:19:25,843 --> 01:19:27,971
Gentlemen,
my country understands your position...
1039
01:19:28,054 --> 01:19:30,056
but in the interest of peace, we must —
1040
01:19:30,139 --> 01:19:34,727
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
1041
01:19:34,811 --> 01:19:39,524
- [SPEAKING GERMAN]
- We are doing everything in our possible power.
1042
01:19:39,607 --> 01:19:41,609
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
1043
01:19:44,862 --> 01:19:47,198
[ARGUING, SHOUTING CONTINUES]
1044
01:20:02,422 --> 01:20:06,009
Gentlemen, it has always been
our policy to maintain —
1045
01:20:15,810 --> 01:20:18,771
[JOKER CACKLING]
1046
01:20:18,855 --> 01:20:20,940
[All LAUGHING]
1047
01:20:21,024 --> 01:20:24,152
- [QUACKING]
- [MEOWS]
1048
01:20:24,235 --> 01:20:28,031
Quickly now!
Each one in a separate vial.
1049
01:20:28,114 --> 01:20:31,159
And, boys, don't anybody sneeze.
1050
01:20:31,242 --> 01:20:34,787
[ALL LAUGHING]
1051
01:20:43,963 --> 01:20:45,965
Emergency! Seal this building!
1052
01:20:46,049 --> 01:20:48,259
- And turn off the ventilating system!
- Robin's right.
1053
01:20:48,343 --> 01:20:50,887
The entire Security Council
may have been dehydrated.
1054
01:20:50,970 --> 01:20:54,307
Emergency, operator!
Emergency! Get me security!
1055
01:20:54,390 --> 01:20:56,934
Emergency, operator!
Emergency! Get me security!
1056
01:20:57,018 --> 01:20:59,729
- Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. "Up"!
- [DOOR BUZZES]
1057
01:21:06,402 --> 01:21:09,739
[CACKLING]
1058
01:21:09,822 --> 01:21:12,658
Surrender, you criminals!
1059
01:21:12,742 --> 01:21:14,619
United Underworld is through!
1060
01:21:14,702 --> 01:21:17,747
Faugh! What's this, an apparition?
1061
01:21:17,830 --> 01:21:23,127
One false move, and you'll find out.
We'll hurl our batarangs.
1062
01:21:23,211 --> 01:21:26,381
- To the elevator, boys!
- Catwoman, stop, I said!
1063
01:21:26,464 --> 01:21:28,716
I don't think you mean that, Batman.
1064
01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:33,513
Miss Kitka dies if you take one more step.
Go!
1065
01:21:38,684 --> 01:21:41,229
This way, Robin!
1066
01:21:43,648 --> 01:21:46,567
The Security Council — gone!
1067
01:21:46,651 --> 01:21:52,031
What a fiendishly clever way to abduct
nine men from a heavily guarded building.
1068
01:21:54,325 --> 01:21:56,327
Where does that elevator go?
1069
01:21:56,411 --> 01:21:58,538
Downstairs, obviously...
1070
01:21:58,621 --> 01:22:00,873
to an abandoned submarine dock on the river.
1071
01:22:00,957 --> 01:22:02,959
Holy Captain Nemo!
1072
01:22:03,042 --> 01:22:06,629
They'll head for sea by way of
Short Island Sound.
1073
01:22:06,712 --> 01:22:10,508
We have just one trump card left, Robin.
1074
01:22:10,591 --> 01:22:14,137
- Heaven help the world if we fail.
- [SIGHS]
1075
01:22:14,220 --> 01:22:16,222
Come on!
1076
01:22:18,724 --> 01:22:22,812
[SONAR PINGING]
1077
01:22:29,110 --> 01:22:33,364
Down periscope. We're over the last bar.
1078
01:22:33,448 --> 01:22:36,075
Mr. Bluebeard, all engines full ahead.
1079
01:22:36,159 --> 01:22:38,744
[BLUEBEARD]
Yo-ho! All engines full ahead.
1080
01:22:38,828 --> 01:22:40,830
[CATWOMAN MEOWS]
1081
01:22:40,913 --> 01:22:44,000
- What a delightful haul!
- [CACKLING]
1082
01:22:44,083 --> 01:22:47,962
Mr. Riddler, will you kindly prepare
those nine radio ransom messages?
1083
01:22:48,045 --> 01:22:49,074
All right, all right.
1084
01:22:49,098 --> 01:22:51,090
And none of your stupid riddles.
Do you understand?
1085
01:22:51,174 --> 01:22:53,176
Make those messages plain.
1086
01:22:53,259 --> 01:22:57,889
One billion dollars cash from each country.
1087
01:22:57,972 --> 01:23:02,351
Precisely, Mr. Riddler.
To be delivered to our secret island...
1088
01:23:02,435 --> 01:23:05,062
by the horde of trained carrier pigeons...
1089
01:23:05,146 --> 01:23:07,356
which I shall presently provide.
1090
01:23:07,440 --> 01:23:11,319
But no whimsical embellishments, please.
Make those messages clear!
1091
01:23:11,402 --> 01:23:15,907
[CACKLES]
"Make those messages clear!"
1092
01:23:15,990 --> 01:23:18,868
- [GIGGLING]
- [CACKLING]
1093
01:23:18,951 --> 01:23:20,620
[CACKLING CONTINUES]
1094
01:23:20,703 --> 01:23:23,539
- Ooh, it's like a dream, Pengy, sweet.
- Mm-hmm.
1095
01:23:23,623 --> 01:23:26,834
- Nothing can stop us now.
- [QUACKS]
1096
01:23:31,923 --> 01:23:36,302
Sonar contact.
Range: 8,000. Bearing: 1-8-1.
1097
01:23:43,059 --> 01:23:45,061
Yo-ho! Sonar contact.
1098
01:23:45,144 --> 01:23:48,022
Small craft at 7,500. Bearing: 0-1.
1099
01:23:48,105 --> 01:23:50,107
What? Small craft?
1100
01:23:50,191 --> 01:23:52,944
It's moving incredibly fast, sir.
Range is down to 7,000.
1101
01:23:53,027 --> 01:23:56,364
- It's the Batboat!
- Faugh! Drat that cockleshell!
1102
01:23:56,447 --> 01:23:59,075
Mr. Bluebeard, steady on the diving plane.
1103
01:23:59,158 --> 01:24:01,160
[BLUEBEARD]
Yo-ho! Steady on the diving plane!
1104
01:24:01,244 --> 01:24:03,329
- I'll man the torpedo tubes.
- [MUTTERS]
1105
01:24:03,412 --> 01:24:07,708
Mr. Riddler, would you fire a
surface-to-surface underwater homing missile?
1106
01:24:07,792 --> 01:24:09,919
- Ah.
- [QUACKS]
1107
01:24:12,463 --> 01:24:15,341
- [MEOWING]
- [LAUGHS]
1108
01:24:23,599 --> 01:24:26,686
Missile ahoy!
1109
01:24:32,441 --> 01:24:34,777
Looks like it has a
homing device in its nose cone.
1110
01:24:34,860 --> 01:24:37,029
Get ready for evasive action.
1111
01:25:00,344 --> 01:25:02,680
No use, Batman. It's tracking us.
1112
01:25:02,763 --> 01:25:07,143
Here. Take my bat radio.
I looked it up this morning.
1113
01:25:07,226 --> 01:25:12,732
That class of missile receives
on a wavelength of 164.1.
1114
01:25:12,815 --> 01:25:15,526
164.1.
1115
01:25:15,610 --> 01:25:18,070
Quickly now. Send a jamming signal.
1116
01:25:18,154 --> 01:25:22,575
[BEEPING]
1117
01:25:25,661 --> 01:25:29,040
- [MISSILE SPUTTERING]
- It's starting down.
1118
01:25:35,004 --> 01:25:37,006
Farewell, Batman!
1119
01:25:37,089 --> 01:25:41,385
- [QUACKING]
- [CACKLING] Farewell, Dynamic Duo!
1120
01:25:41,469 --> 01:25:44,138
Holy bikini! That was close!
1121
01:25:44,263 --> 01:25:46,223
[ALL LAUGHING]
1122
01:25:46,307 --> 01:25:48,934
[QUETCH]
Yo-ho. Small craft still closing.
1123
01:25:49,018 --> 01:25:51,145
Range: 4,000. Bearing: 8-8.
1124
01:25:51,228 --> 01:25:53,856
Faugh!
They know how to jam our missiles!
1125
01:25:53,939 --> 01:25:57,068
[EXCLAIMS]
Up to periscope depth!
1126
01:25:57,151 --> 01:26:00,655
- Yo-ho! Up to periscope depth!
- [QUACKS]
1127
01:26:00,738 --> 01:26:04,283
[SONAR PINGING]
1128
01:26:04,367 --> 01:26:08,788
- Range: 3,500.
- Get the bat charge launcher.
1129
01:26:08,871 --> 01:26:11,040
Roger.
1130
01:26:11,123 --> 01:26:17,338
They hold nine of the world's most
eminent men in dehydrated condition.
1131
01:26:17,421 --> 01:26:22,426
Our task is not to sink that sub,
merely to drive it to the surface.
1132
01:26:25,388 --> 01:26:28,516
[CHUCKLES, COUGHS]
1133
01:26:33,312 --> 01:26:36,565
Forward torpedo tubes. Prepare to fire.
1134
01:26:36,649 --> 01:26:40,611
Yo-ho!
Forward torpedo tubes. Prepare to fire.
1135
01:26:40,695 --> 01:26:43,948
Five, four...
1136
01:26:44,031 --> 01:26:47,284
three, two —
1137
01:26:47,368 --> 01:26:50,579
Torpedoes — [QUACKS] fire!
1138
01:26:50,663 --> 01:26:53,416
Torpedoes — fire!
1139
01:26:59,088 --> 01:27:02,758
Torpedoes away!
[CACKLES]
1140
01:27:02,842 --> 01:27:05,928
- Dive, Mr. Bluebeard! Dive!
- Yo-ho, dive!
1141
01:27:06,011 --> 01:27:09,181
- Down periscope!
- Down periscope.
1142
01:27:11,559 --> 01:27:13,853
Torpedo wakes off the port bow.
1143
01:27:13,936 --> 01:27:17,565
Prepare to fire bat charges
in front of torpedoes when in range.
1144
01:27:17,648 --> 01:27:20,151
[QUACKING]
1145
01:27:20,234 --> 01:27:22,278
[SIGNAL HUMS]
1146
01:27:26,657 --> 01:27:29,285
Faugh!
That's too soon!
1147
01:27:29,368 --> 01:27:31,996
It must be bat charges.
1148
01:27:32,079 --> 01:27:37,209
And that means there'll be more of
the dreaded things meant for us!
1149
01:27:37,293 --> 01:27:40,129
You dismal bird! You and your submarine!
Where's it got us now?
1150
01:27:40,212 --> 01:27:42,423
Shut up, you feline floozy!
1151
01:27:42,506 --> 01:27:46,677
Mr. Bluebeard, down 30 fathoms!
1152
01:27:46,761 --> 01:27:49,722
Run silent, run deep.
1153
01:27:56,604 --> 01:27:58,856
They're diving.
Engines being switched to silent.
1154
01:27:58,939 --> 01:28:02,443
We'll circle them at full-thrust bat speed...
1155
01:28:02,526 --> 01:28:05,571
diminishing radius of curvature.
- Roger.
1156
01:28:08,908 --> 01:28:12,495
- Mr. Quetch, what's their bearing?
- I don't know, sir.
1157
01:28:12,578 --> 01:28:16,165
- What? You don't know?
- It's changing every second.
1158
01:28:16,248 --> 01:28:18,834
They must be circling us.
1159
01:28:21,045 --> 01:28:23,339
Fire when ready, Robin.
1160
01:28:25,925 --> 01:28:28,844
I'll maintain curvature.
1161
01:28:28,928 --> 01:28:33,224
[COUGHS, QUACKING]
1162
01:28:33,307 --> 01:28:34,809
[SIGNAL HUMS]
1163
01:28:39,021 --> 01:28:42,399
[ALL SHOUTING]
1164
01:28:50,324 --> 01:28:52,910
[ALL SHOUTING]
1165
01:29:05,673 --> 01:29:07,925
[SIGNAL HUMS]
1166
01:29:09,343 --> 01:29:13,097
[ALL SHOUTING]
1167
01:29:22,523 --> 01:29:25,109
[SHOUTING CONTINUES]
1168
01:29:37,079 --> 01:29:39,081
Yo-ho!
1169
01:29:39,164 --> 01:29:41,876
Compartments "B" and "C"
taking green water, sir.
1170
01:29:41,959 --> 01:29:45,880
[SCREAMS] Penguin! Penguin,
you know I can't take water!
1171
01:29:45,963 --> 01:29:50,259
Oh, you cowardly kitten!
Do you want to live forever?
1172
01:29:50,342 --> 01:29:52,344
- [WHISTLE PIPING]
- [QUACKS]
1173
01:29:52,428 --> 01:29:55,264
This bird has flown around the bend.
1174
01:29:55,347 --> 01:29:57,349
To cuckoo-land!
1175
01:29:57,433 --> 01:29:59,935
Oh, Riddler, Joker, do something!
1176
01:30:00,019 --> 01:30:02,980
We weren't meant for a watery grave!
Do something!
1177
01:30:03,063 --> 01:30:05,691
[SHRIEKING]
1178
01:30:05,774 --> 01:30:08,569
[WHISTLE PIPING]
1179
01:30:08,652 --> 01:30:11,655
Now hear this! Now hear this!
1180
01:30:11,739 --> 01:30:15,993
Blow all tanks! Surface! Surface!
1181
01:30:18,954 --> 01:30:21,415
All right, Robin. Cut the bat charges.
1182
01:30:21,498 --> 01:30:23,500
They've had about enough, I imagine.
1183
01:30:26,253 --> 01:30:28,797
You're right. They're surfacing fast.
1184
01:30:28,881 --> 01:30:32,426
- Estimated surfacing position?
- 200 yards.
1185
01:30:35,054 --> 01:30:37,097
Here they come.
1186
01:30:41,185 --> 01:30:44,772
Diminishing speed. Ready to board.
1187
01:30:44,855 --> 01:30:46,857
Roger.
1188
01:31:10,255 --> 01:31:12,257
[CACKLING]
1189
01:31:12,341 --> 01:31:14,927
Pirates, to arms!
1190
01:31:15,010 --> 01:31:18,138
- [CACKLING]
- Prepare to repel boarders!
1191
01:31:18,222 --> 01:31:22,059
- [CACKLING CONTINUES]
- Strike your colors, Penguin.
1192
01:31:22,142 --> 01:31:24,744
Faugh!
We have not yet begun to fight!
1193
01:31:24,769 --> 01:31:25,771
Attack!
1194
01:31:25,854 --> 01:31:27,898
[CACKLING]
1195
01:31:39,034 --> 01:31:41,453
[SCREAMS]
1196
01:31:44,039 --> 01:31:46,750
- [SHOUTING]
- [CACKLING]
1197
01:31:59,388 --> 01:32:02,516
[SHOUTING]
1198
01:32:11,275 --> 01:32:15,446
[QUACKING]
1199
01:32:20,159 --> 01:32:22,411
[CAT MEOWS]
1200
01:32:24,872 --> 01:32:27,332
[CAT YOWLS]
1201
01:32:43,849 --> 01:32:45,934
[SCREAMS]
1202
01:33:04,495 --> 01:33:06,538
Bon voyage, pussy.
1203
01:33:06,622 --> 01:33:08,499
[SHOUTING CONTINUES]
1204
01:33:32,231 --> 01:33:33,357
[MEOWS]
1205
01:33:35,400 --> 01:33:37,528
[QUACKING]
1206
01:33:58,257 --> 01:34:01,844
- [CAT MEOWS]
- [ALL SHOUTING]
1207
01:34:34,334 --> 01:34:36,879
Holy heartbreak! Miss Kitka!
1208
01:34:43,385 --> 01:34:47,097
- [♪ WOMAN SINGING IN FRENCH, ROMANTICALLY ♪]
- [♪ ACCORDION PLAYING ♪]
1209
01:35:01,195 --> 01:35:03,322
[♪ FADES OUT ♪]
1210
01:35:04,907 --> 01:35:06,992
Batman, I —
1211
01:35:08,452 --> 01:35:11,955
Say no more, Robin.
It could be... compromising.
1212
01:35:12,039 --> 01:35:14,958
Of course.
1213
01:35:15,042 --> 01:35:19,129
It's just... one of those things...
1214
01:35:19,213 --> 01:35:21,215
in the life of every crime fighter.
1215
01:35:21,298 --> 01:35:23,884
It means nothing. Snap on the bat cuffs.
1216
01:35:31,934 --> 01:35:34,645
Batman to Coast Guard.
Batman to Coast Guard.
1217
01:35:34,728 --> 01:35:38,815
There is a drifting submarine
two miles east of Sandy Nose Lightship.
1218
01:35:38,899 --> 01:35:41,026
It's filled with human jetsam.
1219
01:35:41,109 --> 01:35:43,195
Come. Take it in tow.
1220
01:35:52,913 --> 01:35:55,499
Robin, over here. Look.
1221
01:35:58,126 --> 01:36:01,296
The hope of the entire world,
tottering on the brink.
1222
01:36:01,380 --> 01:36:03,382
Holy almost.
1223
01:36:03,465 --> 01:36:06,969
To think it might have been
shattered before our very eyes.
1224
01:36:09,054 --> 01:36:11,890
- Up with you, Catwoman.
- The service on this yacht has gone to pot.
1225
01:36:11,974 --> 01:36:16,228
Where's my tea? And — What the devil is this,
the captain's costume party?
1226
01:36:20,023 --> 01:36:22,109
[Sneezes]
1227
01:36:25,612 --> 01:36:29,241
Holy jumble!
Where's the hope of the world now?
1228
01:36:31,743 --> 01:36:34,079
[BEEPING]
1229
01:36:36,373 --> 01:36:39,001
Bat centrifuge at 32,000 r.p.m.'s.
1230
01:36:39,084 --> 01:36:42,421
Increase angstrom force in vector
1231
01:36:42,504 --> 01:36:44,548
Vector "X" up one notch.
1232
01:36:44,631 --> 01:36:47,759
[PHONE BEEPING]
1233
01:36:51,138 --> 01:36:54,850
- Yes, Commissioner?
- What progress, Batman? Is there hope?
1234
01:36:54,933 --> 01:36:58,186
There's always hope.
You should know that, sir.
1235
01:36:58,270 --> 01:37:02,691
Of course, of course. But...
do you think you and the Boy Wonder...
1236
01:37:02,774 --> 01:37:06,194
can separate that mingled dust
back into its constituent members?
1237
01:37:06,278 --> 01:37:10,115
With all modesty, Commissioner...
1238
01:37:10,198 --> 01:37:13,493
if we can't, heaven knows who can.
1239
01:37:13,577 --> 01:37:15,746
Truer words were never spoken.
1240
01:37:18,874 --> 01:37:22,377
[MAN] Howdy, y'all.
How are those boys doin' up there?
1241
01:37:22,461 --> 01:37:27,090
Batman says there's hope, Mr. President.
What more can one ask?
1242
01:37:27,174 --> 01:37:29,468
The whole free world is waitin'.
1243
01:37:29,551 --> 01:37:33,096
Tell Batman I salute him
and wish him luck.
1244
01:37:38,393 --> 01:37:42,314
I needn't tell you, ladies and gentlemen,
with whom I have just spoken.
1245
01:37:43,940 --> 01:37:46,318
[FLIPPING SWITCHES]
1246
01:37:49,196 --> 01:37:51,198
Ready for separation.
1247
01:37:51,281 --> 01:37:55,118
All right then.
I'll activate the computer link...
1248
01:37:55,202 --> 01:37:57,871
feed in the various ethnic and national factors.
1249
01:37:57,954 --> 01:38:01,458
- Batman, wait a minute.
- What?
1250
01:38:01,541 --> 01:38:05,504
Well, with the way the world is and all...
1251
01:38:05,587 --> 01:38:08,590
don't you think maybe we ought to
try to improve those factors...
1252
01:38:08,673 --> 01:38:10,675
kind of reshuffle them a little?
1253
01:38:10,759 --> 01:38:13,053
No, Robin. No.
1254
01:38:13,136 --> 01:38:16,598
It's not for mortals like us to
tamper with the laws of nature.
1255
01:38:16,681 --> 01:38:20,519
Indeed, in this very Batcave,
you saw a ghastly example...
1256
01:38:20,602 --> 01:38:22,687
of what happens when one tries to do that.
1257
01:38:24,773 --> 01:38:27,526
Gosh, yes, Batman.
When you put it that way —
1258
01:38:27,609 --> 01:38:29,903
Here we go.
1259
01:38:39,204 --> 01:38:42,332
[BEEPING INTESIFIES]
1260
01:38:45,877 --> 01:38:47,963
[BEEPING STOPS]
1261
01:39:14,156 --> 01:39:16,658
- [BEEPING]
- Yes?
1262
01:39:16,741 --> 01:39:19,536
Separation accomplished.
Ready to rehydrate.
1263
01:39:25,000 --> 01:39:27,002
Separation accomplished.
1264
01:39:27,085 --> 01:39:30,589
They are ready to rehydrate.
1265
01:39:30,672 --> 01:39:32,674
We are ready to rehydrate.
1266
01:39:32,757 --> 01:39:35,510
[MAN ON P.A., SPEAKING SPANISH]
1267
01:39:37,345 --> 01:39:39,973
[MAN ON P.A., SPEAKING ITALIAN]
1268
01:39:40,056 --> 01:39:42,851
[MAN ON P.A., SPEAKING FRENCH]
1269
01:39:42,934 --> 01:39:45,187
[MAN ON P.A.]
They are ready to rehydrate.
1270
01:40:52,379 --> 01:40:54,923
A solemn moment, gentlemen.
1271
01:40:58,510 --> 01:41:02,138
One of dedication and humble supplication.
1272
01:41:06,351 --> 01:41:08,728
Robin...
1273
01:41:08,812 --> 01:41:11,439
prepare to rehydrate.
1274
01:41:17,862 --> 01:41:19,864
Ready to rehydrate.
1275
01:41:21,533 --> 01:41:23,535
Turn on the water faucet.
1276
01:41:26,371 --> 01:41:28,373
[WATER FLOWING]
1277
01:41:59,446 --> 01:42:02,032
[WATER DRIPPING]
1278
01:42:07,203 --> 01:42:10,332
[ALL ARGUING, SHOUTING]
1279
01:42:10,415 --> 01:42:12,500
[ARGUING, SHOUTING CONTINUES]
1280
01:42:12,584 --> 01:42:15,295
Success! Success!
1281
01:42:15,378 --> 01:42:18,715
They've done it! They've done it!
1282
01:42:18,798 --> 01:42:22,510
Success! Success!
We've done it! We've done it!
1283
01:42:22,594 --> 01:42:24,971
[MAN ON P.A., SPEAKING SPANISH]
1284
01:42:25,055 --> 01:42:27,307
[MAN ON P.A., SPEAKING ITALIAN]
1285
01:42:27,390 --> 01:42:29,768
[MAN ON P.A., SPEAKING FRENCH]
1286
01:42:29,851 --> 01:42:32,479
[MAN ON P.A.]
Success! Success!
1287
01:42:33,772 --> 01:42:36,191
[ALL ARGUING SHOUTING]
1288
01:42:36,274 --> 01:42:39,819
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
1289
01:42:39,903 --> 01:42:43,698
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
1290
01:42:43,782 --> 01:42:46,493
- [SHOE POUNDING ON TABLE]
- What the —
1291
01:42:46,576 --> 01:42:49,579
Gentlemen, in the interest of peace,
you must hear me out. You must —
1292
01:42:49,663 --> 01:42:53,124
[SPEAKING HEBREW]
1293
01:42:53,208 --> 01:42:56,961
[SPEAKING GERMAN]
1294
01:42:57,045 --> 01:42:59,547
[CONTINUES IN GERMAN]
1295
01:42:59,631 --> 01:43:02,759
[SPEAKING AFRICAN LANGUAGE]
1296
01:43:02,842 --> 01:43:07,764
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
1297
01:43:07,847 --> 01:43:10,183
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
it is absolutely imperative...
1298
01:43:10,266 --> 01:43:13,186
that we limit our conversation to peace.
1299
01:43:13,269 --> 01:43:16,564
[SPEAKING FRENCH]
1300
01:43:16,648 --> 01:43:19,651
Écoutez. Écoutez, s'il vous plaît.
1301
01:43:19,734 --> 01:43:21,861
Who knows, Robin?
1302
01:43:21,945 --> 01:43:27,242
This strange mixing of minds...
1303
01:43:27,325 --> 01:43:31,413
may be the greatest single service
ever performed for humanity.
1304
01:43:31,496 --> 01:43:33,748
[ARGUING, SHOUTING CONTINUES
IN VARIOUS LANGUAGES]
1305
01:43:33,832 --> 01:43:38,670
Let's go. But inconspicuously.
1306
01:43:38,753 --> 01:43:42,006
Through the window.
We'll use our bat ropes.
1307
01:43:44,551 --> 01:43:46,553
Our job is finished.
1308
01:43:46,636 --> 01:43:49,389
[ARGUING SHOUTING CONTINUES]