1 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,246 Can I have a shot glass, please? 2 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:00,873 Photo sent. 3 00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:19,914 Stay on this heading for about 6h30min. 4 00:03:20,014 --> 00:03:21,614 Turn left at the Aurora Borealis. 5 00:03:21,714 --> 00:03:24,986 When you see something that looks like a frozen gall bladder, that's Greenland. 6 00:03:25,086 --> 00:03:26,163 Hang a soft right there. 7 00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:29,502 - All set there, Mr. Hauser? - Yeah, thank you. 8 00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:30,965 Guidestar! 9 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:48,673 Guidestar! 10 00:03:48,773 --> 00:03:49,909 Welcome back. 11 00:03:50,009 --> 00:03:53,022 Hotel? Dinner reservations? Movie tickets, maybe? 12 00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:58,492 Mr. Hauser Is there something else you need? 13 00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:02,467 I don't know. I feel... 14 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:05,573 Go on. 15 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:08,580 Like a refuge from the Island of Dr. Moreau. 16 00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:13,383 Some morally inverted, twisted character from a C�line novel. 17 00:04:14,887 --> 00:04:15,731 The hot sauce helps. 18 00:04:15,831 --> 00:04:17,970 You still getting those nightmares you told me about? 19 00:04:18,070 --> 00:04:20,924 They're coming back faster and faster. I don't know if I can keep outrunning 'em. 20 00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:26,881 That'll be it, Jerry. I gotta go. 21 00:04:26,981 --> 00:04:29,582 You bet, Mr. Hauser. GuideStar wants you to feel secure. 22 00:04:29,682 --> 00:04:30,660 GuideStar. 23 00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:33,237 Be still my trembling hands, for how you would tremble... 24 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,500 if you knew where I would take you next. 25 00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:40,175 Incoming message. 26 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,547 Incoming message. 27 00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:48,077 You got him on the comm there? Bring it over. 28 00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:49,788 Hello, Hauser! 29 00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:51,337 Hello, Mr. Vice President. 30 00:04:51,437 --> 00:04:53,573 I haven't been vice president for five months. 31 00:04:53,673 --> 00:04:55,560 Otherwise, this all might be a conflict of interest. 32 00:04:56,829 --> 00:05:00,148 Tamerlane and the U.S. government, and I in particular, were cleared... 33 00:05:00,248 --> 00:05:02,724 of any and all violations of federal, state and international laws... 34 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:04,680 by the bipartisan committee. 35 00:05:04,780 --> 00:05:06,295 Just read the report. 36 00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:09,522 I'm sure anything you weren't supposed to be doing you were cleared of. 37 00:05:09,622 --> 00:05:12,510 And of course I was preemptively pardoned by the president. 38 00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:15,741 I got the snapshots. Love your work. 39 00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:18,339 - We're all big fans. - Yes. 40 00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:19,902 Let's see if the damn Krauts... 41 00:05:20,002 --> 00:05:22,648 will cross us in the Security Council now. 42 00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:25,086 We seem to be heading southeast. Where am I going? 43 00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:26,852 Hope you like the smell of fresh liberation. 44 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,022 Give me a sec. 45 00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,160 I gotta growler down there the size of a cane frog. 46 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:36,864 Turaqistan. 47 00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:38,362 What's the gig? 48 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:42,004 Omar Sharif. 49 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:43,737 - Omar Sharif? - Yeah. 50 00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:46,893 The CEO of Ugi Gas, the Ugikistani conglomerate. 51 00:05:46,993 --> 00:05:50,745 He is building a pipeline through his country. 52 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:54,787 We didn't liberate Turaqistan to get hustled by a fez head. 53 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:56,177 Terminate. 54 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,316 Do do that voodoo that you do so well. 55 00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,352 You'll be working directly under the viceroy just appointed by the president. 56 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:04,942 His identity is still being withheld on a need to know basis. 57 00:06:05,042 --> 00:06:07,727 - And no one needs to know. - He asked for you personally. 58 00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:10,786 - What's my cover? - Trade show producer. 59 00:06:10,886 --> 00:06:14,328 Trade show? What show? What show? 60 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,668 It's gonna be huge. 61 00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:19,042 Tamerlane is sponsoring a trade expo, Brand USA. 62 00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:22,396 It's our big launch bringing democracy to this part of the world. 63 00:06:22,496 --> 00:06:25,564 We've bombed the shit out of them, there's a lot of rebuilding to do. 64 00:06:25,664 --> 00:06:28,633 - Shows a nice spirit. - Somebody has to help them. 65 00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:32,657 This is a great opportunity for Tamerlane and the U.S. 66 00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:35,139 Not to mention the people of Turaqistan. 67 00:06:35,239 --> 00:06:38,648 And to top it all off, there's gonna be a gala wedding. Isn't that great? 68 00:06:38,748 --> 00:06:42,651 Seems like a pretty elaborate cover. I'm gonna be responsible for all that shit? 69 00:06:42,751 --> 00:06:44,168 This is a historic moment. 70 00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:49,454 The first war ever to be 100% outsourced to private enterprise. 71 00:06:49,554 --> 00:06:52,705 Tamerlane jets, Tamerlane tanks, Tamerlane soldiers. 72 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,147 And to top it all off, the Brand USA expo. 73 00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:58,047 It's your show, baby. 74 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,107 Welcome to the Turaqi Green Zone, sir. 75 00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:23,000 Tamerlane welcomes Expo Turaqistan, Brand USA. 76 00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:43,703 Welcome to Turaqistan, sir. I'm Marsha Dillon... 77 00:08:43,803 --> 00:08:44,836 hoping you're ready to kill. 78 00:08:44,936 --> 00:08:45,754 I've been briefed. 79 00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,126 SPF-Eighty-seven, sir. 80 00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:50,951 - Shall we? - Yes. 81 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,863 It all looks good. 82 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,689 Great lights. 83 00:09:04,789 --> 00:09:05,992 Take out the Tamercard. 84 00:09:06,092 --> 00:09:07,010 What's your cover, by the way? 85 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:11,129 Undergrad Wharton with a masters in communication at the Annenberg School. 86 00:09:11,229 --> 00:09:12,650 - Very impressive. - Well, it's fake. 87 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:16,671 - Tell me that's not the stage? - I think it is. 88 00:09:16,771 --> 00:09:17,984 East, honey, east. 89 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,508 Do you want people turning away from the stage to pray five times a day? 90 00:09:21,608 --> 00:09:24,062 Cultural sensitivity. That's what we're about here. 91 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:25,562 Sorry, sir. 92 00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:31,234 What exactly is wrong with my credentials? 93 00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:33,965 I've been cleared. My colleagues are going in. 94 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,659 - Am I being singled out for some reason? - I can't allow that. 95 00:09:37,759 --> 00:09:39,161 Very curious. 96 00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:42,631 - Find out who she is. - Very curious situation. 97 00:09:42,731 --> 00:09:44,307 - Let's go, ma'am. - Oh. Okay. 98 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:47,715 And set up a meeting with her in my office. 99 00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:50,678 Do I have an office? 100 00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,289 Great. Carry on. 101 00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:55,758 Yes, and I'll just try to rearrange the entire place. 102 00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:57,351 - Just see if you can spin it. - Yes. 103 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,301 Ms. Hegalhuzen. 104 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,534 Your 2:30's here. 105 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,447 I read your piece in "Atlantic Monthly". 106 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,744 Very provocative. 107 00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,779 - Nice office. - It's bulletproof. 108 00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:26,956 Send her in. 109 00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:38,793 Passion. This is beautiful. 110 00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:44,573 Thank you! 111 00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:47,272 Hey, okay, okay, we'll be in touch. 112 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,793 - It's a gift. I brought a gift to you. - Thank you. 113 00:10:49,893 --> 00:10:51,817 - It's a form of dance. - Thank you. Good stuff. 114 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:54,078 Pay-for-view TV. Next week! 115 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,702 And you are an angel. 116 00:10:58,802 --> 00:10:59,816 Thanks for the bag! 117 00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:04,142 Ms. "Hugelhazen". 118 00:11:04,242 --> 00:11:05,060 Hegalhuzen. 119 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:08,015 - Hegalhuzen. Brand Hauser. - Hello. 120 00:11:08,115 --> 00:11:09,046 - Hi. - Hey. 121 00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,033 Come on in. 122 00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:15,501 Now... 123 00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:18,603 Holy shit! 124 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,831 So, you're here to cover our little trade show... 125 00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:27,317 "... that's being billed as a liberating Turaqistan... 126 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:31,049 satisfy the American consumer's dreams just the opposite now. 127 00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:34,740 The proposed Expo Turaqistan offers nothing more than the auctioning of... 128 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:38,991 Turaqistan's future to the cause of profit and international branding. 129 00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,216 Yeah, I remember that because I wrote it. 130 00:11:41,316 --> 00:11:43,950 There's no corruption here. Just read the Silverman James Report. 131 00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:45,618 I have. It's bullshit. 132 00:11:45,718 --> 00:11:50,694 Look. We've already kicked out of this place. What are we supposed to do? 133 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:54,061 Turn our backs on all of the entrepreneurial possibilities? 134 00:11:54,161 --> 00:11:58,640 Business is human response to a moral or cosmic crisis. 135 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:02,199 Whether it's a tsunami or a sustained aerial bombardment... 136 00:12:02,299 --> 00:12:04,654 there's the same urgent call for urban renewal. 137 00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:08,707 When did they start attacking inside the Emerald City? 138 00:12:08,807 --> 00:12:10,159 I wouldn't call that an attack. 139 00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:15,258 Well, technically, that was a bombing. At least it sounded like it was. 140 00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:17,335 Not an attack, which would imply something else. 141 00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:20,229 Do you really think I'm as bad as all this? 142 00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:22,770 - I don't know anything about you. - Would you like to? 143 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:23,920 It's my job. 144 00:12:24,020 --> 00:12:26,773 You make it sound so tedious. Could be fun. 145 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,244 - Then why don't I begin? - Thought you'd never ask. 146 00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,015 Would you excuse me for one minute? 147 00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,782 - Call me soon. - When? 148 00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:41,791 You'll feel it. 149 00:12:42,527 --> 00:12:45,678 - All righty then. Where were we? - I haven't said anything yet. 150 00:12:45,778 --> 00:12:47,481 Excellent, 'cause I don't remember hearing anything. 151 00:12:47,581 --> 00:12:49,682 - Then we're off to a great start. - What can I do for you? 152 00:12:49,782 --> 00:12:53,261 Why do I have access? Even on such a low level. 153 00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:54,898 Ouch. 154 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:59,159 All my writings have called this a violation of international law... 155 00:12:59,259 --> 00:13:00,803 and its practitioners are criminals. 156 00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:03,281 Do you really believe all the stuff you write? 157 00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:06,078 Anyone who could cause this much mayhem when he didn't have to? 158 00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:08,443 The amount of suffering that I've seen? 159 00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:10,014 Hang on. 160 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,220 Okay. Hold on a sec. 161 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,178 But the way I look at it is this. 162 00:13:16,278 --> 00:13:20,148 The day we can actually feel and hear all the suffering of mankind... 163 00:13:20,248 --> 00:13:22,427 that's the day when the Christ will come back. 164 00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:25,730 So we got that going for us. I'll be out in a minute. 165 00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:29,907 Or the Buddha, or Allah, whoever floats your boat. 166 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:31,965 Ms. Hagenhazel. 167 00:13:32,546 --> 00:13:33,963 - Call me Natalie. - Natalie. 168 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:37,675 I really must run. I feel like we're on the verge of something important. 169 00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:41,780 Do you think we could continue this conversation over drinks? 170 00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:45,049 - Drinks? - Yeah, I know a friendly place. 171 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,990 Marsha, will you set that up? 9, 10-ish? 172 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,607 Unattended cars will be crushed and incinerated. 173 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,898 Hello, sir. Welcome to Popeye's. How can I help you? 174 00:14:12,998 --> 00:14:17,170 I'll have crawfish �touff�e, the Big Flava chicken sandwich with Boss Sauce... 175 00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:19,816 and to top off my meal, a frothy orange drink. 176 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,353 - I'm here to see the viceroy. - Sir. 177 00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:25,987 Don't mention his name. Follow me! 178 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,063 Okay! 179 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:44,015 Let's go, boys. One, two, one, two march! 180 00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:07,871 - He's not here? - Closed circuit, sir. 181 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,790 Welcome to liberated Turaqistan, Hauser. 182 00:15:10,890 --> 00:15:12,456 Big fan. Have been for ages. 183 00:15:12,556 --> 00:15:13,889 Sorry for the secret identity bullshit... 184 00:15:13,989 --> 00:15:15,573 but it's a brave new security. 185 00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:19,029 I'll be contacting you by phone, but if you wish to contact me... 186 00:15:19,129 --> 00:15:20,983 you'll have to come here to the bunker, 'kay? 187 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,051 Omar Sharif. 188 00:15:23,151 --> 00:15:26,282 He's staying at the Freedom Grand through the closing ceremony. 189 00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:27,689 Make sure he doesn't make his plane. 190 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:28,849 Got it. 191 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:31,111 Now, about this closing ceremony... 192 00:15:31,211 --> 00:15:33,858 It looks like we Yonica Babyyeah wedding. Incredible, huh? 193 00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:35,715 What is a Yonica Babyyeah? 194 00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:37,359 The Britney Spears of Central Asia. 195 00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:39,921 Kids from Baca to Yemen are nuts for her. 196 00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:41,654 Anyway. The point is... 197 00:15:41,754 --> 00:15:44,024 this weddin' is the grand finale of the trade show. 198 00:15:44,124 --> 00:15:47,529 This is the biggest extravaganza in the history of Central Asia. 199 00:15:47,629 --> 00:15:49,497 And it's the centerpiece of our P.R. blitz here. 200 00:15:49,597 --> 00:15:51,343 It's perfect branding synergy, Hauser. 201 00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:55,201 Blends the image of an American-style woman getting her own and getting it on. 202 00:15:55,301 --> 00:15:56,604 A great new democratic dynasty... 203 00:15:56,704 --> 00:16:00,238 with all the strength and virility of traditional warlords. 204 00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:02,440 Exactly. That's why you're the best. 205 00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:05,542 Overall, we see it as a pretty irresistible package. 206 00:16:05,642 --> 00:16:08,828 We're getting worldwide coverage, U.S. networks, Sky Channel, Al Jazeera... 207 00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:09,981 so make it big buddy. 208 00:16:10,081 --> 00:16:12,718 See she gets everything she wants and make this a grand finale... 209 00:16:12,818 --> 00:16:13,986 the world will never forget. 210 00:16:14,186 --> 00:16:14,932 You bet. 211 00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:19,527 Jeff? So, listen. I met this guy... No, he's just some mid-level schmo. 212 00:16:19,627 --> 00:16:23,498 Anyway, I think if I play him right, I can get a pass out of the Green Zone... 213 00:16:23,598 --> 00:16:25,642 and I can see what's really going on here. 214 00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:27,274 No chip for me, thanks. 215 00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:29,320 Ma'am, you really won't get the full experience without the chip. 216 00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:31,137 Doctor's orders. I get hives. 217 00:16:31,237 --> 00:16:33,940 Welcome to Implanted Journalist Experience. 218 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,927 Thanks to cutting-edge Tamerlane Interactive Technology... 219 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:41,762 we are now able to reduce the risk of journalist mortality to virtually zero. 220 00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:45,018 The Combat-o-Rama Implantation Device... 221 00:16:45,118 --> 00:16:48,687 will allow you to experience full spectrum sensory reality. 222 00:16:48,787 --> 00:16:51,558 Over the next seventy-two hours, some of you may experience... 223 00:16:51,658 --> 00:16:54,271 headaches, nausea and some muscle pain. This is normal. 224 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:57,076 If symptoms of epilepsy occur, please notify your doctor. 225 00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:58,707 Thanks and enjoy the ride. 226 00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:32,008 Mr. Hauser! 227 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:33,848 Mr. Hauser! 228 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:37,911 Yonica Baby is two minutes from arrival. We need to go. 229 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,641 Yonica! I love you! 230 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:48,519 Jesus Christ. 231 00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:51,676 Hi. Welcome. How was traffic? 232 00:18:51,776 --> 00:18:53,513 I hear those checkpoints can be murder. 233 00:18:53,613 --> 00:18:56,580 Where is dressing room? I'm fucking wasted. 234 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:57,580 Well, let me show you. 235 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,554 She needs Popeye ten-piece box. All white meat. 236 00:18:59,654 --> 00:19:02,129 Extra crispy, extra spicy. Diet Coke. You get it? 237 00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:03,867 And pickles. 238 00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:06,557 She wants pickles. Clausen classic dill pickles. 239 00:19:06,657 --> 00:19:07,860 - Pickles? - Yeah. 240 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,710 - All right... - You are big boss? 241 00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,642 - I guess I am, yeah. - How big? 242 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:15,602 Don't do that. 243 00:19:15,702 --> 00:19:16,984 Confiscate that film. 244 00:19:18,523 --> 00:19:20,320 I do what I want. Okay? 245 00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:22,175 Of course you do and we're excited to have you. 246 00:19:22,275 --> 00:19:23,043 Don't get too excited. 247 00:19:23,143 --> 00:19:25,221 I'm not that excited. Let me show you to your dressing room. 248 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,689 Get some chicken, pickles. and whatever you want. 249 00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,399 Come on in. Hi. Nice work with the bat. 250 00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:33,235 How are you? Hi, good luck. 251 00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:36,969 Hi. Mr. Pickle. Las Vegas. Mr. Federline. 252 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:48,642 The impending marriage of Central Asian pop star... 253 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:53,649 and Ooq- Mi-Fay Taqnufmini the scion of the powerful Turaqi clan. 254 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:57,276 The marriage. A symbol of democratization... 255 00:19:57,376 --> 00:19:59,762 or a sleazy public relations stunt? 256 00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:03,584 Yes or no? 257 00:20:03,684 --> 00:20:04,533 Natalie. 258 00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:06,436 - Hi. - Hi. 259 00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:09,440 Jesus. What is this place? 260 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,337 It's the Freedom Grand. How do you like it? 261 00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:14,536 Guess I could go with strange love in the desert. 262 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:17,778 Weird. Rarefied. Coven-like. 263 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,685 - Stop me if I'm rambling. - Stop. Sit. 264 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:25,088 Can I get a double bourbon? Vodka twist? How's that? 265 00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:27,583 - Okay. - Thank you. 266 00:20:28,126 --> 00:20:30,526 So, you're producing the big... 267 00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:34,513 Freedom's on the March economic land-grab masquerade. 268 00:20:34,613 --> 00:20:36,727 Are you with Tamerlane employee or a freelance producer? 269 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,794 That's complicated. Let's get to that later. 270 00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:41,037 I just wanted to get to know you. 271 00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:45,675 Okay, tell me about yourself. 272 00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:50,498 Just doing this gig, trying to make the best of a bad situation. 273 00:20:50,598 --> 00:20:53,642 Looking for redemption in all the wrong places. Stop me now if I'm rambling. 274 00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:55,642 - Okay, stop. - How about you? 275 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:56,652 How about me what? 276 00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,019 You know, tell me about you. Where're you from? 277 00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:02,586 Who gives a fuck? Are you serious? 278 00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:05,724 I'm serious as a deacon. I'd like to get to know you as a person. 279 00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:08,859 For God's sakes... why? 280 00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:15,301 Well, what the hell else are we gonna do on this dark and lonely night? 281 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,694 So you wanna seduce the journalist whose politics you despise? 282 00:21:19,794 --> 00:21:21,426 How dare you? I have no politics. 283 00:21:21,526 --> 00:21:23,537 Everyone does, even if they don't know it. 284 00:21:24,916 --> 00:21:27,384 - Not me. - Just a straight mercenary? 285 00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:29,249 I'm a host. I'm a showman. I'm an organizer. 286 00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:32,606 There's just people here. Some good, some bad. All interesting. 287 00:21:32,706 --> 00:21:35,706 You seem like an interesting person and I try not to over-think these things. 288 00:21:35,806 --> 00:21:39,491 You're a clever guy. Some would even call you charming. 289 00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:43,798 But it gets tired, doesn't it? All that patter, the show biz, it's just a mask. 290 00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:46,564 There's gotta be a person in there somewhere. 291 00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:52,869 Did you know that "person" comes from the Latin word persona which means mask? 292 00:21:53,578 --> 00:21:55,626 Being human means we invite spectators... 293 00:21:55,726 --> 00:21:57,579 to ponder what lies behind. 294 00:21:58,684 --> 00:22:01,665 Each of us would be composed of a variety of masks. 295 00:22:01,765 --> 00:22:05,573 And if we can see behind the mask, we would get a burst of clarity. 296 00:22:05,673 --> 00:22:09,583 If that flame was bright enough, then we fall in love. 297 00:22:10,529 --> 00:22:12,394 What's your opinion on these divine matters? 298 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,927 I'm not gonna fuck you. You know that, right? 299 00:22:18,804 --> 00:22:20,601 Oh, I hope that you know that somewhere. 300 00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:23,422 I sense you're such an angry woman. 301 00:22:23,522 --> 00:22:25,759 You're just intent to laying waste to all of us, aren't you? 302 00:22:25,859 --> 00:22:30,009 That was the best half-true frontier gibberish I've heard. 303 00:22:30,649 --> 00:22:31,406 Thanks. 304 00:22:31,983 --> 00:22:33,564 - Hey. Listen. - Yes? 305 00:22:33,664 --> 00:22:36,120 All access pass to the trade show, compliments of the house. 306 00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:38,785 - Don't be a stranger. - I won't be. 307 00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:44,592 Now, let's get these pass�'s right. 308 00:22:45,263 --> 00:22:46,560 Ayat, a little knee jerk. 309 00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:48,694 Make it work. Make it work. 310 00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:50,631 Very good. 311 00:22:51,737 --> 00:22:53,452 All in the legs, girls. 312 00:22:53,552 --> 00:22:55,267 How many times do we have to say this? Ayat! 313 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,166 Higher! 314 00:23:01,179 --> 00:23:03,545 Big smile, Reshbeck! For God's sake. 315 00:23:04,916 --> 00:23:05,746 Thank you. 316 00:23:05,851 --> 00:23:07,066 You're back for some more gibberish. 317 00:23:07,166 --> 00:23:08,564 You remember Marsha? This is Peter Parker. 318 00:23:08,664 --> 00:23:12,579 Choreographer, worked with Rob Marshall, all the big musicals. 319 00:23:12,691 --> 00:23:15,503 It's incredible. Each girl is a trans-femoral amputee... 320 00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:16,843 who had lost her leg during the liberation. 321 00:23:16,943 --> 00:23:23,379 And thanks to Tamerlane, we can have you up and dancing in no time. 322 00:23:23,479 --> 00:23:25,718 Just another example of how American know-how... 323 00:23:25,818 --> 00:23:27,294 alleviates the suffering it creates. 324 00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:32,524 Look at this. Hamy Shenkman had her leg blown off by an M-18 Claymore landmine. 325 00:23:32,624 --> 00:23:37,600 And, Conyel Bisland... an M-72 rocket-propelled grenade... 326 00:23:37,700 --> 00:23:39,229 that mistakenly hit her high school. 327 00:23:39,329 --> 00:23:42,203 And Tamerlane used the exact same RPG firing pin rod assembly technology... 328 00:23:42,303 --> 00:23:44,604 that it uses in the prosthetic knees of its. 329 00:23:44,704 --> 00:23:46,202 Talk about vertical integration. 330 00:23:46,302 --> 00:23:47,986 It's hot in here. Let me get that for ya. 331 00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:49,458 Krishmish, come over here. 332 00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:54,857 This is Ms. Hegalhuzen, she's writing a story about the show. 333 00:23:54,966 --> 00:23:56,215 All right. Okay. 334 00:23:56,315 --> 00:23:58,030 Ms. Babyyeah's ready for her run-through. 335 00:23:58,837 --> 00:24:00,452 We've gotta go. My trade show's your trade show. 336 00:24:00,552 --> 00:24:01,733 Come on, girls. Gather here. 337 00:24:23,594 --> 00:24:26,529 You say you want to invade me, baby 338 00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:30,423 You say you want to enslave me, baby 339 00:24:32,704 --> 00:24:35,502 I want to blow you up 340 00:24:38,343 --> 00:24:41,312 You say you want to free me, baby 341 00:24:41,746 --> 00:24:45,409 BGut you cannot even see me, baby 342 00:24:47,552 --> 00:24:49,520 I want to blow you up 343 00:24:53,124 --> 00:24:57,083 I want to blow you sky high, high, go fly 344 00:24:59,563 --> 00:25:03,715 I want to blow 345 00:25:03,815 --> 00:25:04,564 You 346 00:25:07,939 --> 00:25:10,874 You want to occupy my heart and soul 347 00:25:11,409 --> 00:25:14,503 A black widow in a spider hole 348 00:25:17,115 --> 00:25:18,912 I want to blow you up 349 00:25:22,721 --> 00:25:25,918 I want to blow you up 350 00:25:29,961 --> 00:25:33,488 I want to blow you down if it's okay 351 00:25:34,499 --> 00:25:36,729 Mr. Hauser, how do you feel about the image of Turaqi women... 352 00:25:38,503 --> 00:25:39,262 My coat! 353 00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:42,604 Cut! 354 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:53,047 So there's this reporter who really despises me. 355 00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:57,548 I mean, she doesn't really despise me, she despises what I represent. 356 00:25:59,424 --> 00:26:02,791 I think if she knew the real me, she'd hate me even more. 357 00:26:03,563 --> 00:26:04,488 I mean, don't you think? 358 00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:06,663 I wasn't there. Does it really matter? 359 00:26:07,265 --> 00:26:10,166 Actually, I think I just like the sound of her voice. 360 00:26:10,602 --> 00:26:12,832 I could listen to her revile me for hours. 361 00:26:13,471 --> 00:26:16,338 Do you think with her, the reporter I mean, it's just about sex? 362 00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:18,800 - What do you mean just? - I don't know. 363 00:26:19,444 --> 00:26:23,540 There's this Turaqi pop star. She disturbs me and I can't figure out why. 364 00:26:24,115 --> 00:26:26,015 Could you be attracted to her sexually? 365 00:26:27,185 --> 00:26:29,016 No, are you crazy? She's just a little... 366 00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:31,748 I'm not calling you in the middle of the night, Mr. Hauser. 367 00:26:31,856 --> 00:26:33,673 - I gotta go. - Whatever. 368 00:26:33,773 --> 00:26:35,056 You're a fuckin' asshole. 369 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:36,522 GuideStar! 370 00:26:42,334 --> 00:26:44,928 This has to end for me, sir. I want a different kind of life. 371 00:26:45,737 --> 00:26:47,102 I want to get married, start a family. 372 00:26:47,739 --> 00:26:49,673 Operation Chickenhawk never ends. 373 00:26:50,642 --> 00:26:52,723 The ceaseless epic struggle to dominate... 374 00:26:52,823 --> 00:26:56,495 the destiny of man obliges his noble cares to continually purge the world... 375 00:26:56,595 --> 00:26:58,933 of those who are evil-doers. 376 00:26:59,033 --> 00:27:00,882 But that's not just working for me right now, sir. 377 00:27:01,518 --> 00:27:02,485 A woman? 378 00:27:05,589 --> 00:27:07,784 You and I, Hauser, are a part of a rug hook. 379 00:27:08,693 --> 00:27:13,130 All these years I felt a special bond. Don't you feel that? 380 00:27:15,233 --> 00:27:15,990 No. 381 00:27:16,368 --> 00:27:17,460 Well, you think about it. 382 00:27:18,203 --> 00:27:20,155 If you still feel this way in a couple of days... 383 00:27:20,255 --> 00:27:21,170 I already told you, sir. 384 00:27:22,207 --> 00:27:23,868 - That'll be all. - Yes, sir. 385 00:28:04,983 --> 00:28:06,530 Marsha, this is kind of a bad time. 386 00:28:06,630 --> 00:28:11,067 Hey! I wanted to give you the heads up. A delivery should be there any second. 387 00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:12,054 When, now? 388 00:28:15,492 --> 00:28:16,481 Oh, shit. 389 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:37,671 Sir, I have your dry cleaning, sir! 390 00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:40,040 Thank you. Thank you. 391 00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:42,444 I need the ticket, sir. 392 00:28:43,455 --> 00:28:45,935 - I have that somewhere. - Yeah, I need that claim ticket, sir. 393 00:28:46,035 --> 00:28:50,642 I think I put it... should be around here somewhere. 394 00:28:50,742 --> 00:28:54,278 - You're talking about the claim ticket? - It's around here somewhere. 395 00:28:54,378 --> 00:28:56,514 - Sir, can you hurry? - Yep. 396 00:28:56,614 --> 00:28:58,432 Sir, I gotta have that ticket or... 397 00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:02,629 No, no... 398 00:29:05,076 --> 00:29:06,065 Oh, here it is. 399 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:09,509 - Sir, you have a nice day. - Sure. 400 00:29:11,983 --> 00:29:14,451 Yo, yo, yo, mother fuckers! 401 00:29:37,942 --> 00:29:38,699 It's me. 402 00:29:45,383 --> 00:29:46,350 - Hi. - Hi. 403 00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:49,736 Straight from the dry in Rammstein, Germany 404 00:29:49,836 --> 00:29:52,586 You can't believe these guys. 20 years ahead of the rest of the world. 405 00:29:52,690 --> 00:29:55,352 And this cost the U.S. taxpayers, what? Three, four grand? 406 00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,291 Be nice. I'm really sorry about the jacket. 407 00:29:57,395 --> 00:29:58,225 Okay. 408 00:29:58,329 --> 00:30:00,146 Listen, would you like to get a Turaqi coffee? 409 00:30:00,246 --> 00:30:02,948 I hear they make it great here. Cardamom mace. The good kind. 410 00:30:03,048 --> 00:30:04,716 I was just about to wash my hair. 411 00:30:04,816 --> 00:30:06,964 It's a delicacy. Sweetened with pomegranate honey. 412 00:30:08,206 --> 00:30:09,002 One cup? 413 00:30:13,511 --> 00:30:14,478 Give me a minute. 414 00:30:25,356 --> 00:30:26,067 What? 415 00:30:26,102 --> 00:30:29,043 There's just something irresistible about a Western woman speaking Turaqi. 416 00:30:29,143 --> 00:30:30,876 Is that a recognized international phenomena? 417 00:30:30,976 --> 00:30:32,691 No. It's a personal sensibility. 418 00:30:34,732 --> 00:30:37,950 Look. I admit I don't actually believe any of this stuff we say. 419 00:30:38,050 --> 00:30:40,685 I mean, not in the sense that I believe it to be actually true. 420 00:30:40,785 --> 00:30:43,741 You talk too much. I want to ask you something. 421 00:30:44,742 --> 00:30:48,860 Doesn't it hurt you to put yourself in such a contorted moral position? 422 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,814 Can you tell me, for example, one completely honest thing? 423 00:30:54,552 --> 00:30:55,484 One. 424 00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:03,842 This is Donny Loo's favorite juice. 425 00:31:03,942 --> 00:31:07,420 It is rated at just under a quarter million Scoville units. 426 00:31:08,466 --> 00:31:11,583 When I find the demands of life to be challenging... 427 00:31:11,683 --> 00:31:12,898 I take a wee drop. 428 00:31:14,272 --> 00:31:15,603 The more challenging... 429 00:31:16,741 --> 00:31:19,175 the higher the Scoville units. 430 00:31:21,279 --> 00:31:23,042 - Let me. - Be careful. 431 00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:26,934 But the trick, you see... 432 00:31:27,034 --> 00:31:29,578 that I've taught myself, is to never allow my eyes to tear up. 433 00:31:36,261 --> 00:31:37,956 One completely honest thing. 434 00:31:38,963 --> 00:31:42,547 If you really knew me, you'd despise me even more than you do. 435 00:31:42,647 --> 00:31:44,068 No. I don't despise you. 436 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:48,569 I don't really care enough. 437 00:32:16,234 --> 00:32:16,957 Marsha. 438 00:32:18,970 --> 00:32:22,371 It's fucking great. Michael Bay can blow me. 439 00:32:22,473 --> 00:32:23,654 He can and he should. 440 00:32:23,754 --> 00:32:25,991 - We do all of Yonica's videos. - We're blowing up. 441 00:32:26,091 --> 00:32:27,489 A bad choice of words. 442 00:32:27,589 --> 00:32:29,496 Listen, guys, this has been great. Thank you. 443 00:32:29,596 --> 00:32:31,932 I have another meeting. I have to run. But I, I really enjoyed it. 444 00:32:32,032 --> 00:32:34,463 Let us have some footage of the wedding. We'll hook you up, dude. 445 00:32:34,563 --> 00:32:36,734 Hey, we know everything that goes on in Turaqistan. 446 00:32:36,834 --> 00:32:40,241 No place we cannot go, no one we don't know, nothing we cannot do. 447 00:32:40,341 --> 00:32:41,003 Okay. 448 00:32:41,038 --> 00:32:43,506 Does one of you have a card? Whoever the leader is. 449 00:32:43,606 --> 00:32:44,742 Here we go. The Jackpot. 450 00:32:44,842 --> 00:32:46,626 Here, thank you. Thank you. 451 00:32:47,532 --> 00:32:50,451 There you go. You have his, and he has yours. 452 00:32:50,551 --> 00:32:51,581 - Yes. - He's got yours. 453 00:32:51,681 --> 00:32:52,863 - It's gonna be great. - Bye-bye, guys. 454 00:32:56,606 --> 00:32:58,267 Where's my package? 455 00:32:59,043 --> 00:33:01,568 The shipment left the warehouse in Dubai 2 days ago. 456 00:33:02,013 --> 00:33:03,139 We're tracking it. 457 00:33:05,216 --> 00:33:07,184 Just get me a fuckin' cobra, all right? 458 00:33:07,952 --> 00:33:09,943 - A snake? - Yeah. Chop-chop. 459 00:33:18,496 --> 00:33:20,225 Come on, spit it out. 460 00:33:24,769 --> 00:33:27,294 Is only me, Mr. Big 461 00:33:29,474 --> 00:33:31,339 Yonica. Hi. 462 00:33:32,210 --> 00:33:35,692 Listen. Sorry about my reaction to your song. I didn't mean to offend you. 463 00:33:35,792 --> 00:33:41,117 No. I am sorry. I am so stupid to not understand that you are woman. 464 00:33:41,219 --> 00:33:41,947 Uh, sorry? 465 00:33:42,619 --> 00:33:46,783 In Turaqi we have no word for this. Same as for a woman. 466 00:33:48,292 --> 00:33:50,610 No, no, no. That's not it. 467 00:33:50,710 --> 00:33:53,994 I predict most people. Why not you? 468 00:33:55,566 --> 00:33:57,329 How my ass make you puke? 469 00:33:57,435 --> 00:33:59,887 Bad babakanoosh or something. 470 00:33:59,987 --> 00:34:02,086 I think you're lovely. Stunning, actually. 471 00:34:02,186 --> 00:34:03,538 - Lovely? - Yes. 472 00:34:05,609 --> 00:34:07,338 You think attractive? 473 00:34:08,946 --> 00:34:10,470 Yep. Definitely. 474 00:34:15,686 --> 00:34:18,348 - Does her ass make you puke? - Who? Who? Who? 475 00:34:18,456 --> 00:34:21,721 That skinny bitch reporter with the tape recorder. 476 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:22,849 No. 477 00:34:22,860 --> 00:34:25,727 You're a tit man. Do you want massage? 478 00:34:26,230 --> 00:34:27,754 Be a happy ending. 479 00:34:30,701 --> 00:34:32,692 Does your father know that you talk this way? 480 00:34:33,171 --> 00:34:34,399 - My father? - Yeah. 481 00:34:35,173 --> 00:34:36,731 I do not speak to him anymore. 482 00:34:37,108 --> 00:34:42,444 But he sends me money for dancing lessons and singing lessons. 483 00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:45,748 I am with Ooq-Mi-Fay now. 484 00:34:46,616 --> 00:34:48,607 And he wants for me to be big success. 485 00:34:49,253 --> 00:34:52,654 Yonica rules. That is what he says to me. 486 00:34:53,558 --> 00:34:54,718 - What about your mother? - Dead. 487 00:34:55,293 --> 00:34:55,937 I'm sorry. 488 00:34:55,972 --> 00:34:58,485 For why? You did not kill her. 489 00:34:59,730 --> 00:35:00,697 I don't think so. 490 00:35:01,766 --> 00:35:05,395 Too much sorry. Too much. 491 00:35:07,539 --> 00:35:09,687 Jesus Christ! What is wrong with you? 492 00:35:09,787 --> 00:35:12,890 You are a fucking asshole, do you know that? 493 00:35:12,990 --> 00:35:14,524 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 494 00:35:14,624 --> 00:35:17,694 "I'm sorry". You're always sorry. 495 00:35:17,794 --> 00:35:19,739 Fuck you, Mr. Sorry. Fuck you. 496 00:35:19,884 --> 00:35:21,249 Yonica, don't go away mad. 497 00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:31,591 Marsha? 498 00:35:31,929 --> 00:35:34,727 Get me a dinner reservation tonight. Somewhere with soup. 499 00:35:37,802 --> 00:35:41,486 So everything's OK? You're closing some big deals at the trade show? 500 00:35:41,586 --> 00:35:43,506 Is there an actual reason for this meeting? 501 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:46,189 I am not big on bullshit. 502 00:35:46,289 --> 00:35:49,596 I'm your host. I want you to be happy nd that everything is... 503 00:35:49,696 --> 00:35:51,512 well and you're taken care of. 504 00:35:53,017 --> 00:35:53,745 A beautiful woman. 505 00:35:54,218 --> 00:35:56,243 There is something we can agree on after all, then. 506 00:35:57,288 --> 00:35:58,550 Can you get me an introduction? 507 00:35:59,357 --> 00:36:01,348 - She's a journalist. - Who cares? 508 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,388 Sit. Don't eat all your soup. 509 00:36:05,763 --> 00:36:06,491 Thank you. 510 00:36:10,768 --> 00:36:14,284 So between your father's indictments, were you still on the lacrosse team? 511 00:36:14,384 --> 00:36:16,670 No. I actually blew out my fuckin' knee. Hey, you. 512 00:36:18,142 --> 00:36:20,042 Hey, we are doing an interview here. 513 00:36:20,144 --> 00:36:21,657 Omar Sharif wants to meet you. 514 00:36:21,757 --> 00:36:23,737 - The actor? - Better. The president of Ugi Gas. 515 00:36:24,749 --> 00:36:25,738 Sorry. Just one minute. 516 00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:28,015 I'm gonna pick this up in one. 517 00:36:30,888 --> 00:36:34,085 who do I have to shoot to get a fuckin' drink around here? 518 00:36:40,798 --> 00:36:41,765 What are you looking at? 519 00:36:42,333 --> 00:36:43,265 What are you looking at? 520 00:36:47,505 --> 00:36:48,301 Get back to normal! 521 00:36:52,009 --> 00:36:54,307 Natalie Hegalhuzen, Omar Sharif. 522 00:36:54,412 --> 00:36:56,380 Exquisitely enraptured, ma ch�re. 523 00:36:56,814 --> 00:36:58,907 - Pleased to meet you, too. - Shall we dance? 524 00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:08,688 How're you doin'? 525 00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:40,873 How come we Americans a hard time? 526 00:37:40,973 --> 00:37:42,357 An interesting conundrum, isn't it? 527 00:37:43,527 --> 00:37:45,017 Very shrewd of you to ask. 528 00:37:45,663 --> 00:37:47,028 What would I get for telling you? 529 00:37:47,732 --> 00:37:51,600 The thrill of knowing you're my confidential source. 530 00:37:52,703 --> 00:37:54,568 The thought of this leaves me breathless. 531 00:38:04,882 --> 00:38:06,713 My dear, let me explain something to you. 532 00:38:07,351 --> 00:38:08,613 The Americans had no plan. 533 00:38:09,552 --> 00:38:11,486 Perhaps next year they will invade my country. 534 00:38:11,989 --> 00:38:14,822 And then, they will either kill me or throw me in jail. 535 00:38:15,426 --> 00:38:16,320 Or kill me in jail. 536 00:38:17,061 --> 00:38:18,653 Or maybe make me president. 537 00:38:19,163 --> 00:38:21,996 Or maybe make me president, then kill me. 538 00:38:22,767 --> 00:38:25,998 That still doesn't answer you question. 539 00:38:26,370 --> 00:38:29,533 Why hasn't the U.S. stopped the Ugi Gas pipeline? 540 00:38:29,774 --> 00:38:32,456 See what you can find out about Operation Chickenhawk. 541 00:38:32,556 --> 00:38:33,406 Chickenhawk? 542 00:39:25,963 --> 00:39:27,021 Yeah, baby! 543 00:39:27,765 --> 00:39:28,732 Get it out. 544 00:39:45,349 --> 00:39:46,816 A message from the viceroy. 545 00:39:47,551 --> 00:39:48,540 Freedom is messy. 546 00:39:49,153 --> 00:39:51,747 Employees must wash hands before returning to work. 547 00:40:07,471 --> 00:40:08,529 What stinks here? 548 00:40:09,206 --> 00:40:13,723 Yeah. You look like piece of shit. You smell like piece of shit. 549 00:40:13,823 --> 00:40:14,937 You want some shit? 550 00:40:28,793 --> 00:40:29,974 Where're you going? Night's young. 551 00:40:30,074 --> 00:40:31,241 This place is crazy. 552 00:40:31,341 --> 00:40:34,146 Would you like to come back to my suite for a quiet drink? 553 00:40:34,246 --> 00:40:38,065 Oh, no thank you, Omar. But I will look into that thing about you told. 554 00:40:41,672 --> 00:40:42,536 Enjoyed it. 555 00:40:51,614 --> 00:40:53,696 - I think I'll go back to my hotel. - Can I drive you? 556 00:40:53,796 --> 00:40:54,965 Oh, no, that's okay. 557 00:40:55,065 --> 00:40:56,986 Let me give you a lift. I can help you. It's safer that way. 558 00:40:58,856 --> 00:41:00,721 Please. I'll feel better. 559 00:41:01,759 --> 00:41:03,124 When did all that construction start? 560 00:41:03,694 --> 00:41:07,446 Oh. They're diverting the river Tures so it runs by the trade show. 561 00:41:07,546 --> 00:41:11,058 They wanted a clear view from the Tiki Room. It's cute, huh? 562 00:41:13,237 --> 00:41:14,727 What do you think of that girl, Yonica? 563 00:41:15,973 --> 00:41:17,167 You don't wanna know. 564 00:41:17,708 --> 00:41:19,505 - Come on. Try me. - Okay. 565 00:41:20,377 --> 00:41:25,597 I think that she's a sad little girl who's been pimped out... 566 00:41:25,697 --> 00:41:29,676 into a pathetic monstrosity of alienated Western sexuality. 567 00:41:30,620 --> 00:41:32,554 How do you feel about that, Mr. Hauser? 568 00:41:33,257 --> 00:41:36,624 She's a disaster. This whole place is a disaster. 569 00:41:37,261 --> 00:41:38,853 So, you're sleeping with her. 570 00:41:39,563 --> 00:41:40,208 No. 571 00:41:40,243 --> 00:41:41,682 Why not? She seems game. 572 00:41:41,782 --> 00:41:45,758 It must be nice to be who you say you are. To do things you believe in. 573 00:41:46,670 --> 00:41:48,695 That's so simple. So clean. 574 00:41:50,307 --> 00:41:51,968 It's like, you know: "why didn't I think of that"? 575 00:41:52,776 --> 00:41:56,906 Well, it's hard not to feel like... 576 00:41:59,149 --> 00:42:01,101 I'm always on the losing side. 577 00:42:01,201 --> 00:42:02,209 Well, you are. 578 00:42:03,020 --> 00:42:04,817 Yeah. It gets kinda lonely. 579 00:42:05,656 --> 00:42:09,172 That's why you got all those peasants and workers to keep you company. 580 00:42:09,272 --> 00:42:11,091 I don't have that big a bed. 581 00:42:11,795 --> 00:42:12,819 Tell me more. 582 00:42:14,798 --> 00:42:16,891 I think that you should take me home now. 583 00:42:22,072 --> 00:42:22,831 Yes, well... 584 00:42:23,307 --> 00:42:25,138 thanks for taking me home. 585 00:42:25,776 --> 00:42:26,834 Oh. Good night then. 586 00:42:40,791 --> 00:42:41,985 Jesus, what was that? 587 00:42:44,094 --> 00:42:46,221 I can't do that... 588 00:42:47,666 --> 00:42:49,746 No. You yourself said, I just don't want to. 589 00:42:49,846 --> 00:42:51,630 - Yeah. Sure. - And good night. 590 00:42:57,308 --> 00:42:58,570 Tomorrow can I see ya? 591 00:42:59,076 --> 00:43:00,566 - Tomorrow? - Yeah. 592 00:43:01,211 --> 00:43:02,974 Reporter's Pool, ten a. m. 593 00:43:03,615 --> 00:43:05,932 Progress update, people. 594 00:43:06,032 --> 00:43:09,031 Banks West didn't even wait for the opening ceremony... 595 00:43:09,131 --> 00:43:12,748 closing a one point 3 billion dollar deal... 596 00:43:12,856 --> 00:43:17,643 with Roof Branch and Blossom to restore essential water services... 597 00:43:17,743 --> 00:43:20,526 to the people of Turaqistan! 598 00:43:20,965 --> 00:43:22,660 Oh, come on! 599 00:43:22,967 --> 00:43:27,450 I'm sure they'd like to give a shout-out to the Tamerlane- Furg-Bomber... 600 00:43:27,550 --> 00:43:30,688 Wing for, for those humane position strikes... 601 00:43:30,788 --> 00:43:35,211 that created this wonderful opportunity for everyone. 602 00:43:38,583 --> 00:43:39,777 So is this like a date? 603 00:43:40,918 --> 00:43:42,180 This is like obscene. 604 00:43:43,087 --> 00:43:45,749 There's something you can do for me that would mean a lot. 605 00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:46,948 Name it. 606 00:43:47,057 --> 00:43:49,706 Get me a pass out of the Emerald City so I can see what's really going on. 607 00:43:49,806 --> 00:43:51,624 - Very dangerous. - I wanna see Fallof. 608 00:43:52,496 --> 00:43:53,610 Natalie, there's nothing there. 609 00:43:53,710 --> 00:43:55,981 I wanna know if it's true that Tamerlane used chemical weapons. 610 00:43:56,081 --> 00:43:58,694 Isn't it a little late to be worrying about international conventions? 611 00:43:59,436 --> 00:44:04,189 Is nerve gas worse than getting your head blown off by a laser missile? 612 00:44:04,289 --> 00:44:06,559 Frankly, it's a nuance that's lost on me. 613 00:44:06,659 --> 00:44:09,159 Besides they were cleared, just read the report. 614 00:44:09,259 --> 00:44:10,861 We're trying to watch a battle here. 615 00:44:10,961 --> 00:44:11,915 Sorry. 616 00:44:15,853 --> 00:44:18,754 Come on, come on, come on. Give me something. Give me something. 617 00:44:18,856 --> 00:44:22,314 Anything's gotta be better than this Xbox bullshit! 618 00:44:22,459 --> 00:44:23,426 Okay, okay. 619 00:44:26,030 --> 00:44:28,713 These guys are big in the Turaqi arts community. 620 00:44:28,813 --> 00:44:30,183 You know, the whole downtown scene? 621 00:44:30,283 --> 00:44:31,757 Might give you a good lead. 622 00:44:35,506 --> 00:44:37,531 I'm hit! I'm hit! 623 00:44:38,008 --> 00:44:39,976 Where's the damn Medevac? 624 00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:42,491 The Tamerlane custom E- Z missile mount can... 625 00:44:42,591 --> 00:44:46,778 be adapted to fit over 200 automobile models... 626 00:44:46,884 --> 00:44:48,667 I thought we were all set with the Ayatollah. 627 00:44:48,767 --> 00:44:49,548 Pick it up, boys. 628 00:44:50,087 --> 00:44:52,521 What do you mean he won't do a mixed wedding? Who's mixed? 629 00:44:53,023 --> 00:44:56,584 Yonica's Episcopalian? How the fuck did that happen? 630 00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:58,086 Will the Sufi work? 631 00:44:58,663 --> 00:45:00,378 Let me call you back. I got another call. 632 00:45:00,478 --> 00:45:01,645 Just get a number for Cat Stevens. 633 00:45:01,745 --> 00:45:05,224 Hello. Can you calm down? Yeah, he's right here. 634 00:45:07,037 --> 00:45:08,937 Yoni... That was the girl. 635 00:45:09,306 --> 00:45:11,191 She said she can't do the wedding if you're involved. 636 00:45:11,291 --> 00:45:12,625 She thinks you don't like her. 637 00:45:12,725 --> 00:45:14,493 - What? - She can't work with you. 638 00:45:14,593 --> 00:45:16,125 I'm on it, I'm on it. Okay. 639 00:45:16,225 --> 00:45:18,565 And then Anderson Cooper, Mr. Salt and Pepper Integrity... 640 00:45:18,665 --> 00:45:22,598 is arriving today and, and all we have left is a junior suite. 641 00:45:22,698 --> 00:45:24,868 Is that okay? I mean, he is a Vanderbilt and everything. 642 00:45:24,968 --> 00:45:26,752 There could be repercussions! 643 00:45:35,599 --> 00:45:36,448 GuideStar! 644 00:45:36,548 --> 00:45:38,918 You seem a little bit, Mr. Hauser. Is everything all right? 645 00:45:39,018 --> 00:45:42,922 My hand was shaking. My hand never shakes. 646 00:45:43,022 --> 00:45:46,373 Worst case, Parkinson's. I can get you a doctor's appointment in Dubai. 647 00:45:46,477 --> 00:45:47,603 I can't focus. 648 00:45:48,278 --> 00:45:50,460 This girl. This reporter. They're in my head. 649 00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:51,661 They're in my fucking brain. 650 00:45:51,761 --> 00:45:54,668 That's not good, Mr. Hauser. Not good. 651 00:45:54,768 --> 00:45:58,119 No, I know it isn't. And now I gotta see her, the little one. 652 00:45:58,222 --> 00:46:00,713 I gotta bring her food. 'Cause she won't go to the thing. 653 00:46:02,594 --> 00:46:03,388 Fuck! 654 00:46:23,013 --> 00:46:28,178 Trusting you was a little rude 655 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,647 I wish there was a way 656 00:46:33,257 --> 00:46:37,125 You could sooth that ache in me 657 00:46:38,695 --> 00:46:43,462 Phone cut out When we were talking today 658 00:46:46,170 --> 00:46:52,075 Phone cut out When we were talking today 659 00:46:54,077 --> 00:46:55,009 That was beautiful. 660 00:46:59,651 --> 00:47:02,552 - You recorded that yet? - Fat fucking chance. 661 00:47:02,653 --> 00:47:03,620 Well you should. 662 00:47:04,755 --> 00:47:06,870 I feel like it's like I'm seeing you for the first time. 663 00:47:06,970 --> 00:47:10,154 Well, you've seen my ass. And you not liking it. 664 00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:12,140 - Why do you do that? - Do what? 665 00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:13,675 Talk as if you have no soul. 666 00:47:13,775 --> 00:47:18,950 Nobody cares for my beautiful soul. They care for my ass. 667 00:47:19,050 --> 00:47:21,470 - You sound like a tramp. - Bitches rule. 668 00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:23,968 Yonica rules. 669 00:47:24,942 --> 00:47:28,207 Virgins are good for getting fucked. Right? 670 00:47:28,745 --> 00:47:31,895 That is what I am good for. Right? 671 00:47:31,995 --> 00:47:33,711 That's what everybody knows. 672 00:47:38,055 --> 00:47:38,919 You know what I think? 673 00:47:40,490 --> 00:47:43,982 I think the girl that wrote that song was a poet. 674 00:47:45,095 --> 00:47:46,494 I thought that song was really great. 675 00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:02,409 I am not from this world. 676 00:48:04,514 --> 00:48:06,379 I have special powers. 677 00:48:07,985 --> 00:48:10,886 I can see inside people's brains. 678 00:48:13,625 --> 00:48:14,717 What do you see? 679 00:48:20,497 --> 00:48:22,556 You think you care about me. 680 00:48:25,102 --> 00:48:27,093 Neither one of us know why. 681 00:48:28,939 --> 00:48:31,430 You're not an alien life form. 682 00:48:33,176 --> 00:48:36,009 You're just very confused. 683 00:48:37,848 --> 00:48:39,577 And you live in a terrible world. 684 00:48:56,633 --> 00:49:02,799 I cannot be from this place. I do not belong here. 685 00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:06,534 We have to find a way. 686 00:49:09,746 --> 00:49:11,509 We just have to find a way. 687 00:49:13,750 --> 00:49:15,149 Who are you? 688 00:49:18,221 --> 00:49:19,279 We got stuff here. 689 00:49:19,389 --> 00:49:21,707 We got a side of Clausen Classic Dill, 690 00:49:21,807 --> 00:49:23,817 and Turaqi brand soda. 691 00:49:25,729 --> 00:49:28,789 Extra crispy, all white meat. You want a piece? 692 00:49:29,667 --> 00:49:32,033 It's actually a horrible way to soothe bad feelings... 693 00:49:33,937 --> 00:49:35,564 but can lead to compulsive eating... 694 00:49:35,671 --> 00:49:37,502 But, you know, sometimes you just gotta do it, right? 695 00:49:46,616 --> 00:49:48,641 What the fuck? 696 00:49:54,725 --> 00:49:55,589 You know what? 697 00:49:56,994 --> 00:50:01,363 I'm gonna blow you up. you mother fuckin' nice... 698 00:50:01,465 --> 00:50:04,559 suit necktie piece of shit! 699 00:50:07,170 --> 00:50:09,365 Take a rain check on that. 700 00:50:10,807 --> 00:50:12,434 Out of the Emerald City? 701 00:50:13,543 --> 00:50:16,569 In fact, baby, the money is right, I can take you to Chechnya. 702 00:50:17,114 --> 00:50:20,515 I could scrape together a thousand dollars. 703 00:50:23,620 --> 00:50:26,555 Honey, for a thousand dollar we take you to Starbucks. 704 00:50:26,890 --> 00:50:29,290 So, we open on her, she's like Snow White. 705 00:50:29,893 --> 00:50:33,746 Then he arrives. A two-shot, like in, Ford's My Darling Clementine. 706 00:50:33,846 --> 00:50:35,681 When Victor Mature returns to her. 707 00:50:35,781 --> 00:50:37,791 Fuck film, assholes. 708 00:50:41,104 --> 00:50:43,618 I want her on all fours. 709 00:50:43,718 --> 00:50:49,725 Waiting for her phallic warlord, Ooq-Mi-Fay. 710 00:50:49,825 --> 00:50:52,077 I know it's none of my business, what are you guys talking about? 711 00:50:53,250 --> 00:50:55,718 We're shooting the wedding night's video. 712 00:50:56,153 --> 00:50:58,018 Yeah, check it out. We already made the card. 713 00:50:59,156 --> 00:51:00,748 My God. 714 00:51:02,159 --> 00:51:04,707 - How much you guys want for this? - 500 bucks. 715 00:51:04,807 --> 00:51:06,713 I'll give you 50 right now, cash. 716 00:51:06,813 --> 00:51:07,591 Done. 717 00:51:08,598 --> 00:51:12,181 Washington's all a-twitter by allegations from a journalist... 718 00:51:12,281 --> 00:51:15,087 that the son of a top Turaqi political leader... 719 00:51:15,187 --> 00:51:17,754 and his pop star bride are involved... 720 00:51:17,854 --> 00:51:21,767 in a pornographic video of their own wedding night. 721 00:51:22,412 --> 00:51:26,246 Expo Turaqistan. Out of the frying pan into the fire? 722 00:51:28,051 --> 00:51:31,214 How in the fuck did this Hegalhuzen bitch get a hold of this story? 723 00:51:31,301 --> 00:51:32,536 Well, it hardly matters now. 724 00:51:32,636 --> 00:51:36,239 The network might cancel their coverage and we own them. 725 00:51:36,339 --> 00:51:39,126 We got riots going on in 14 cities across Central Asia. 726 00:51:39,229 --> 00:51:42,581 Maybe the best thing to do would be to call the wedding off. 727 00:51:42,681 --> 00:51:45,396 Have you lost your mind? Just handle it. 728 00:51:45,502 --> 00:51:46,298 I always do. 729 00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:49,906 Do you think I have no feelings? 730 00:51:50,407 --> 00:51:51,897 This is what I am to you? 731 00:51:52,309 --> 00:51:55,493 - A whore? And you are my pimp? - No, baby, no, baby. 732 00:51:55,593 --> 00:51:57,694 You were going to sell a tape of our wedding night? 733 00:51:57,794 --> 00:51:59,476 I was gonna give you half of the money. 734 00:52:00,617 --> 00:52:02,141 I did it for the money. 735 00:52:12,996 --> 00:52:15,612 There will be ample time for loving recriminations. 736 00:52:15,712 --> 00:52:18,327 But let's deal with this from a practical perspective. 737 00:52:19,503 --> 00:52:23,872 What if we publically remove one of his testicles? 738 00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:25,703 - Dad, please! - Shut up. 739 00:52:26,610 --> 00:52:28,658 That's not an entirely unappealing suggestion... 740 00:52:28,758 --> 00:52:30,942 but I'm not sure if that really gets us where we wanna go. 741 00:52:31,281 --> 00:52:35,702 Honestly, your Excellency, if we're gonna pull this off so a man of your stature... 742 00:52:35,802 --> 00:52:38,618 you know, a four-time convicted extortionist and an embezzler like... 743 00:52:38,722 --> 00:52:42,317 yourself is to lead Turaqistan to its bright and shining future... 744 00:52:42,425 --> 00:52:45,519 Yonica's bridegroom must be blamelessly pristine. 745 00:52:47,764 --> 00:52:49,614 In other words, we need a fall guy. 746 00:52:49,714 --> 00:52:52,497 How about your homeboy outside with the perforated septum? 747 00:52:53,203 --> 00:52:54,587 P- per... what? 748 00:52:54,687 --> 00:52:59,666 Go, Marsha. Go, Marsha. You're so fine. I'm gonna make her change her mind! 749 00:53:00,210 --> 00:53:03,596 I have a can of Mace! 750 00:53:03,696 --> 00:53:06,342 And I will use it! Sit down! 751 00:53:13,123 --> 00:53:18,545 I think Bodhi organized this whole thing and you didn't know anything about it. 752 00:53:18,645 --> 00:53:20,095 Yeah, of course, man. I didn't know shit. 753 00:53:21,965 --> 00:53:24,593 But, you know, we wanna be culturally sensitive here. 754 00:53:24,700 --> 00:53:27,760 What is the traditional punishment for pimping a pop star? 755 00:53:29,706 --> 00:53:31,901 - Wow, that's fucking cold, Pop. - Shut up. 756 00:53:32,677 --> 00:53:34,825 Drowning in sheep dung. 757 00:53:34,925 --> 00:53:36,593 Marsha will make the arrangements. 758 00:53:36,693 --> 00:53:40,514 All right. We've dealt with the groom. Now for the bride. 759 00:53:41,484 --> 00:53:45,703 20 minutes on TV and the world will know that this sweet, young girl... 760 00:53:45,803 --> 00:53:51,352 would never participate in such a foul, foul enterprise. Right? 761 00:53:51,761 --> 00:53:53,579 And, Yonica, you didn't know anything about this. 762 00:53:53,679 --> 00:53:57,624 So it has the added benefit of being true, as my father used to say. 763 00:53:58,602 --> 00:54:00,570 All right. We'll announce the execution tonight. 764 00:54:00,670 --> 00:54:01,919 We'll do the interview tomorrow... 765 00:54:02,019 --> 00:54:05,441 and we go ahead with the wedding and close the whole damn show. 766 00:54:05,776 --> 00:54:07,471 I think we got this worked out, don't you? 767 00:54:07,844 --> 00:54:09,723 - Great. - All right. Good to see you. 768 00:54:09,823 --> 00:54:10,905 No, no, no... 769 00:54:11,681 --> 00:54:12,739 Thank you so much, sir. 770 00:54:13,750 --> 00:54:15,411 Yonica... Honey! Honey! 771 00:54:16,086 --> 00:54:17,053 Yonica, Yonica! 772 00:54:23,026 --> 00:54:24,584 Thank you. I like bag. 773 00:54:28,797 --> 00:54:32,699 Marsha. Get me Katie Couric, Al Jazeera and a hundred gallons of sheep shit. 774 00:54:53,189 --> 00:54:54,622 Slaves, but... 775 00:54:57,827 --> 00:55:01,263 Slaves, plebians, patricians, ladies and gentlemen. 776 00:55:01,765 --> 00:55:03,447 Welcome to Pax Romana... 777 00:55:03,547 --> 00:55:06,161 Virginia's number one Roman-era theme park. 778 00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:13,175 The glory that was Rome. The grandeur that was Six Flags. 779 00:55:14,277 --> 00:55:16,994 Unfortunately the financing fell through in the real estate crash... 780 00:55:17,094 --> 00:55:19,708 and the whole place went down the toilet. But it makes my point. 781 00:55:20,250 --> 00:55:21,080 Which is...? 782 00:55:23,953 --> 00:55:26,751 Every empire is summed up in Rome. The Romans, Hauser. 783 00:55:27,556 --> 00:55:30,354 Dudes of the human race. Torch-bearers of culture. 784 00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:31,920 You and I are Centurions. 785 00:55:32,262 --> 00:55:35,446 Honor bound to defend civilization against the Barbarians. 786 00:55:35,546 --> 00:55:37,079 Let's cut the shit, Walken. 787 00:55:37,179 --> 00:55:38,964 I like killing people as much as the next guy... 788 00:55:39,069 --> 00:55:43,457 but I signed up to kill the bad ones. Health clinics, trade unionists... 789 00:55:43,557 --> 00:55:47,773 journalists, agricultural co-ops, Catholic liberation theologians... 790 00:55:47,877 --> 00:55:50,094 impoverished Colombian coffee farmers... 791 00:55:50,194 --> 00:55:53,343 These are barbarians, the depraved opponents of civilization? 792 00:55:53,450 --> 00:55:56,532 We turned Central America into a fucking graveyard. 793 00:55:56,632 --> 00:55:59,668 Whoever momentarily interrupts the accumulation of our wealth... 794 00:55:59,768 --> 00:56:01,018 we pulverize. 795 00:56:01,858 --> 00:56:04,088 I'm just not feeling good about that anymore, sir. 796 00:56:07,564 --> 00:56:09,555 Then do what you have to do, son. 797 00:56:11,167 --> 00:56:13,158 Thank you for understanding, sir. 798 00:56:14,337 --> 00:56:16,430 - Oh! You asshole. - Weapon, please? 799 00:56:21,010 --> 00:56:21,908 Let's walk and talk. 800 00:56:23,780 --> 00:56:25,475 You didn't really think I'd let you go, did you? 801 00:56:26,082 --> 00:56:28,380 - I was kinda hoping you might, yeah. - For her? 802 00:56:28,852 --> 00:56:31,467 Please, Walken. We had such a good working relationship. 803 00:56:31,567 --> 00:56:34,535 Let's not end it like this, like savages in a theme park. 804 00:56:34,635 --> 00:56:36,739 You get the thumbs down from the crowd, Hauser. 805 00:56:36,839 --> 00:56:37,738 You're obsolete, dude. 806 00:56:37,838 --> 00:56:40,179 Past your expiration date, discontinued. 807 00:56:40,279 --> 00:56:41,958 Garbagio, as they say in Latin. 808 00:56:42,599 --> 00:56:44,260 Relegated to the trash bin of history. 809 00:56:56,813 --> 00:56:59,463 You shouldn't rummage in the garbage. Fuck. 810 00:56:59,563 --> 00:57:01,780 Is this one of those plastic toys you can choke on? 811 00:57:03,887 --> 00:57:04,785 You mother fucker! 812 00:57:29,212 --> 00:57:32,181 Help! I get it. I get it. Help! Turn it off! 813 00:57:37,987 --> 00:57:40,136 Ten minutes with Katie Couric would get you ten times the audience... 814 00:57:40,236 --> 00:57:42,170 of a whole season of Frontline. Now, that's a fact. 815 00:57:42,270 --> 00:57:43,940 Yeah, but wh-why would they want me to do the interview? 816 00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:45,756 You? Your uncompromising integrity... 817 00:57:45,895 --> 00:57:48,645 your movie star good looks and I don't think Katie Couric... 818 00:57:48,745 --> 00:57:50,631 wants to come to this beautiful fucking vacation spot. 819 00:57:51,301 --> 00:57:53,518 You know I'm not gonna do a P.R. puff piece, right? 820 00:57:53,618 --> 00:57:55,184 Just do the story. Get the real girl. 821 00:57:55,284 --> 00:57:57,954 The real girl? Is there anything real left to get? 822 00:57:58,054 --> 00:57:59,256 Can she actually talk? 823 00:57:59,356 --> 00:58:00,990 She's just a needy little kid, Natalie. 824 00:58:01,090 --> 00:58:04,058 I know, and she's spoiled, she's over-sexed, she's tone deaf. 825 00:58:04,158 --> 00:58:05,396 Well she's a brand, Hauser. 826 00:58:05,496 --> 00:58:06,972 Stuff happens. She needs a mom. 827 00:58:07,750 --> 00:58:10,651 - Yeah. And don't look at me. - I like looking at you. 828 00:58:12,822 --> 00:58:17,074 You can say anything you want, okay? No holds barred delay. I'll make it live. 829 00:58:17,174 --> 00:58:19,640 You're crazy. This bitch hates me. 830 00:58:19,740 --> 00:58:22,114 - She doesn't hate you. - She hates me. 831 00:58:22,214 --> 00:58:24,393 - No she doesn't. - She does. I know. 832 00:58:26,603 --> 00:58:27,486 Yeah, hello. 833 00:58:27,586 --> 00:58:29,921 I have lists of Omar's whereabouts. 834 00:58:30,021 --> 00:58:30,802 I'll get to it. 835 00:58:31,474 --> 00:58:33,066 - Put your seatbelt on. - Fuck off. 836 00:58:34,710 --> 00:58:35,438 Shit. 837 00:58:51,794 --> 00:58:53,318 So we're all set? 838 00:58:54,497 --> 00:58:56,931 This sucks. I hate this. 839 00:58:58,468 --> 00:59:00,527 - What sucks, sweetheart? - This location. 840 00:59:01,304 --> 00:59:02,635 What's wrong with it? 841 00:59:03,072 --> 00:59:06,007 I am not liking it. It blows. 842 00:59:07,510 --> 00:59:11,492 This is 2000 years of Turaqi culture. It's a nice spot for it, actually. 843 00:59:11,592 --> 00:59:12,673 Okay, sweetie? 844 00:59:14,884 --> 00:59:16,545 I want to do it... 845 00:59:18,821 --> 00:59:19,549 there. 846 00:59:22,358 --> 00:59:26,454 - We're all set up right here. - There or nowhere. 847 00:59:28,698 --> 00:59:29,492 Okay? 848 00:59:31,968 --> 00:59:33,299 There's nice too. 849 00:59:35,171 --> 00:59:35,860 Hello. 850 00:59:37,707 --> 00:59:38,571 Hello. 851 00:59:50,787 --> 00:59:52,015 What is this place? 852 00:59:53,156 --> 00:59:53,915 Beautiful. 853 00:59:55,224 --> 00:59:56,953 You see? She's just a needy little kid. 854 00:59:59,796 --> 01:00:02,026 This light is so cool. 855 01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:05,590 Look at this! 856 01:00:06,803 --> 01:00:07,565 Be careful. 857 01:00:15,812 --> 01:00:19,509 I want to do it here. Come, inspect this from me. 858 01:00:20,517 --> 01:00:21,311 Beautiful. 859 01:00:21,818 --> 01:00:25,185 This place is so sad. I love that. 860 01:00:26,155 --> 01:00:27,622 I'm going to see the rest. 861 01:00:33,963 --> 01:00:35,692 Hey, cowboy. You happen to have a Cliff bar? 862 01:00:35,798 --> 01:00:36,787 - You hungry? - I could eat. 863 01:00:36,899 --> 01:00:37,991 Let's find the kitchen. 864 01:00:39,535 --> 01:00:42,163 Look at this. An 82 margaux. They must have left in a hurry. 865 01:00:43,239 --> 01:00:44,690 We can be shot for looting. 866 01:00:44,790 --> 01:00:46,799 We can be shot for anything in Turaqistan. 867 01:00:48,277 --> 01:00:50,541 Let's see. There must be an opener here somewhere. 868 01:00:51,414 --> 01:00:54,030 I just don't know if I'm domestic enough to make a meal out of... 869 01:00:54,130 --> 01:00:57,052 olives and caviar and peanut butter. 870 01:00:58,054 --> 01:01:00,569 Yonica! There's food! 871 01:01:00,669 --> 01:01:02,056 Very high-tech for Turaqistan. 872 01:01:03,693 --> 01:01:05,490 Crazy little brat. 873 01:01:05,795 --> 01:01:07,888 If she's a virgin... 874 01:01:08,264 --> 01:01:09,492 I'm Dick Cheney. 875 01:01:21,811 --> 01:01:23,210 Yonica, would you like some wine? 876 01:01:24,747 --> 01:01:28,012 No. I hate wine. It's so sour. 877 01:01:30,987 --> 01:01:32,045 Milk is good. 878 01:01:39,295 --> 01:01:42,594 - I want a picture of you two. - No pictures. 879 01:01:44,300 --> 01:01:45,267 Okay, one. 880 01:01:45,935 --> 01:01:46,765 Get in. 881 01:01:58,748 --> 01:02:00,113 So you two getting married? 882 01:02:05,421 --> 01:02:08,584 Because you are already married with wife in America? 883 01:02:08,991 --> 01:02:11,152 Everybody wants American wife. 884 01:02:11,660 --> 01:02:12,454 No. 885 01:02:13,129 --> 01:02:13,925 Never were married? 886 01:02:17,166 --> 01:02:18,224 Was once actually. 887 01:02:20,803 --> 01:02:21,667 What happened? 888 01:02:25,575 --> 01:02:27,600 It's not that interesting. 889 01:02:46,729 --> 01:02:47,753 What happened? 890 01:02:53,803 --> 01:02:55,634 Haven't spoken of it in a long time. 891 01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:04,938 She was killed. 892 01:03:06,048 --> 01:03:06,878 Murdered. 893 01:03:09,519 --> 01:03:12,454 I came home one night and my beautiful wife had been slaughtered. 894 01:03:14,791 --> 01:03:19,956 I had a little girl and she was taken. 895 01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:23,929 No ransom note, nothing. Just gone. 896 01:03:26,369 --> 01:03:28,234 - Why? - I don't know. 897 01:03:29,639 --> 01:03:30,731 Who would do that? 898 01:03:31,374 --> 01:03:36,038 I don't know anything except it was all because of me. 899 01:03:39,115 --> 01:03:40,047 What do you mean? 900 01:03:41,150 --> 01:03:44,950 I had many enemies. I've done many things. 901 01:03:48,524 --> 01:03:51,891 What was her name? Your daughter? 902 01:03:55,064 --> 01:03:55,855 Cara. 903 01:03:59,503 --> 01:04:00,663 There's a reason I do this work. 904 01:04:04,874 --> 01:04:06,000 I don't have to feel anything. 905 01:04:08,545 --> 01:04:10,479 That's so fucked up. 906 01:04:14,483 --> 01:04:15,245 Hey. Whassup? 907 01:04:20,256 --> 01:04:21,115 Get out! 908 01:04:23,659 --> 01:04:27,755 Sometimes I think is better not to feel. Just skip it. 909 01:04:28,931 --> 01:04:30,728 How long can you live that way? 910 01:04:31,300 --> 01:04:34,235 The poison's just old. It's like a slow motion suicide. 911 01:04:34,638 --> 01:04:37,489 Or wake up every day and wonder if you have the courage to walk away... 912 01:04:37,589 --> 01:04:41,703 to say: no, I won't do that. I'm not that person. I'm not that thing. 913 01:04:47,683 --> 01:04:50,049 You think I should not marry Ooq-Mi-Fay? 914 01:04:52,622 --> 01:04:54,214 Hey, boss we have a problem. 915 01:04:56,926 --> 01:04:58,018 Hold that thought. 916 01:05:02,331 --> 01:05:03,730 What's the problem, guys? 917 01:05:10,706 --> 01:05:11,832 Try some caviar. 918 01:05:12,441 --> 01:05:13,533 It's so good! 919 01:05:15,912 --> 01:05:16,742 I love. 920 01:05:17,246 --> 01:05:19,737 My mom would always try to get me to eat weird stuff. 921 01:05:19,882 --> 01:05:22,132 Tempeh and wheatgrass... 922 01:05:22,232 --> 01:05:24,550 and all I ever wanted was peanut butter. 923 01:05:27,490 --> 01:05:28,855 He's a complicated guy, huh? 924 01:05:32,728 --> 01:05:33,922 Not what'd you think. 925 01:05:41,237 --> 01:05:43,501 Hey, not so tough today, huh? 926 01:05:47,810 --> 01:05:50,540 Hey, look, the little girl has crowns. 927 01:05:51,247 --> 01:05:53,943 You think you can drown me with the sheep shit. 928 01:05:54,750 --> 01:05:55,978 I don't think so. 929 01:05:56,652 --> 01:05:58,244 You want we should take video now? 930 01:05:58,821 --> 01:05:59,981 Or kill him first? 931 01:06:00,755 --> 01:06:05,192 Be less blood if you kill me first, more fun if you cut it off while I'm alive. 932 01:06:05,660 --> 01:06:06,707 - Shut up. - Okay. 933 01:06:06,807 --> 01:06:10,379 I think I could take those two ears and I can put them on my Harley. 934 01:06:10,479 --> 01:06:12,957 Maybe I can pick up KROQ on my radio. 935 01:06:13,602 --> 01:06:15,797 Oh, pretty face. Bye. 936 01:06:19,875 --> 01:06:23,675 You ought to do some face. Taste. 937 01:06:41,897 --> 01:06:42,691 Stay! 938 01:07:43,526 --> 01:07:47,087 Cut off the fingers I used to wipe my ass. 939 01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:09,851 I cannot believe you just did that! 940 01:08:53,596 --> 01:08:57,532 What person could squeeze eyeballs from Bodhi Bhundhang? 941 01:09:00,202 --> 01:09:03,194 And that asshole tells me not to marry Ooq-Mi-Fay? 942 01:09:03,305 --> 01:09:05,487 I'm fucking marry Ooq-Mi-Fay. 943 01:09:05,587 --> 01:09:09,032 He's pig. And I'm whore. 944 01:09:09,945 --> 01:09:12,470 - You want me to take the freeway? - Yeah. Whatever. 945 01:09:12,982 --> 01:09:16,679 It is who I am. I am that person. 946 01:09:17,386 --> 01:09:20,355 And if I'm going to be whore, at least I can be rich. 947 01:09:20,756 --> 01:09:24,704 I just want to make soulful music and be sad and rich. 948 01:09:24,804 --> 01:09:27,125 You don't have to marry some asshole to do that. 949 01:09:27,930 --> 01:09:31,161 Natalie, you will be my bridesmaid? 950 01:09:33,335 --> 01:09:34,094 Please? 951 01:09:35,738 --> 01:09:40,300 My father, he's coming. I haven't seen him since I was baby. 952 01:09:42,011 --> 01:09:43,569 It will be nice to meet him. 953 01:09:47,716 --> 01:09:50,549 And if you are there I will not be so afraid. 954 01:09:59,328 --> 01:10:00,727 What am I gonna wear? 955 01:10:01,697 --> 01:10:04,515 - What about Katie Courich? - Fuck her. 956 01:10:04,615 --> 01:10:05,531 Fuck them all. 957 01:10:14,510 --> 01:10:15,875 Miami Beach Hotel. 958 01:10:18,814 --> 01:10:21,700 Jeff? I just sent you a photo of that Tamerlane guy. 959 01:10:21,800 --> 01:10:25,603 He just slaughtered half a dozen of Ooq- Mi-Fay Taqnufmini's posse... 960 01:10:25,703 --> 01:10:27,451 Find out who the fuck this guy is. 961 01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:35,251 Hey. I just got this message from the Viceroy. 962 01:10:37,667 --> 01:10:41,899 "We didn't front you $1.3 million to whack a bunch of Fifty Cent wannabes. 963 01:10:42,004 --> 01:10:46,088 You know what I'm saying? You got 18 hours to kill Omar Sharif. 964 01:10:46,188 --> 01:10:48,256 And may I just add personally. 965 01:10:48,356 --> 01:10:50,710 What the fuck are you doing? 966 01:10:51,113 --> 01:10:55,880 Will you kill the mother fucker so we can get the hell out of this shithole? 967 01:10:56,252 --> 01:10:57,719 What are you doing? 968 01:10:57,853 --> 01:11:00,253 Hello? Is there anyone in th-? 969 01:11:06,495 --> 01:11:07,412 Hey, it's Natalie. 970 01:11:07,512 --> 01:11:10,363 I'm either unmasking corporate greed or washing my hair. 971 01:11:10,466 --> 01:11:11,364 So leave a message. 972 01:11:25,714 --> 01:11:27,443 That's good. Thanks. Great. 973 01:11:29,485 --> 01:11:30,279 Is that good? 974 01:11:31,186 --> 01:11:33,381 That looks great. Everything you're doing is great. It's really great. 975 01:11:33,489 --> 01:11:36,617 My communications degree is finally paying off. 976 01:11:37,426 --> 01:11:38,620 Where is Omar? 977 01:11:38,727 --> 01:11:42,046 Well, let me check. Omar? 978 01:11:42,146 --> 01:11:44,895 - Camera Four, Marsha. Camera Four. - Omar's Camera Four. 979 01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:46,160 Why don't you pull in? 980 01:11:46,735 --> 01:11:47,984 Do you have his Blackberry address? 981 01:11:48,084 --> 01:11:49,094 Laptop. 982 01:11:52,007 --> 01:11:54,589 By the way, Anderson Cooper cannot make the wedding. 983 01:11:54,689 --> 01:11:58,169 - What room was he going to stay in? - Eleven-oh-one. 984 01:12:02,518 --> 01:12:04,986 Just you, Cowboy. 985 01:12:11,860 --> 01:12:15,921 Oh, jeez. Gosh. By the way. This came for you. 986 01:12:16,699 --> 01:12:17,524 I think... 987 01:12:18,735 --> 01:12:20,999 ...It must have been this morning and... 988 01:12:27,643 --> 01:12:28,959 This is Natalie Hegalhuzen. 989 01:12:29,059 --> 01:12:32,775 I am being held by the Provisional Liberation Army of Greater Turaqistan. 990 01:12:33,482 --> 01:12:37,111 I will be executed unless the following demands are met by 6 pm. 991 01:12:40,122 --> 01:12:44,957 The complete unconditional withdrawal of all Tamerlane forces from Turaqistan. 992 01:12:46,962 --> 01:12:49,954 The dissolution of the criminal's INS state of Israel. 993 01:12:50,999 --> 01:12:55,218 Three. The acquisition by the Turaqi National Basketball team... 994 01:12:55,318 --> 01:12:59,104 of LeBron James for a player to be named later. 995 01:13:00,776 --> 01:13:03,370 I'm unhurt and well-treated... 996 01:13:03,912 --> 01:13:05,880 And am right where I wanted to be. 997 01:13:06,949 --> 01:13:08,732 You're improvising, bitch. I hate that! 998 01:13:08,832 --> 01:13:09,830 I know where she is. 999 01:13:09,930 --> 01:13:12,669 No. Wait a second! We're live in 6 hours. 1000 01:13:12,769 --> 01:13:14,105 I trust you. You handle everything. 1001 01:13:14,205 --> 01:13:17,590 Oh, Jesus Mary and Joseph. 1002 01:13:21,530 --> 01:13:22,758 How are you, sir? Nice to see you, sir. 1003 01:13:22,965 --> 01:13:23,756 You can go. 1004 01:13:32,474 --> 01:13:33,723 Jerry, how do I get to Fallaf? 1005 01:13:33,823 --> 01:13:35,491 Fallaf. Are you out of your mind? 1006 01:13:35,591 --> 01:13:38,637 Here at GuideStar we definitely call Fallaf a no-go zone. 1007 01:13:39,915 --> 01:13:41,246 That's snuff city, dude. 1008 01:13:41,350 --> 01:13:43,532 Hey, don't get cute. Just give me the damn directions. 1009 01:13:43,632 --> 01:13:45,835 You sound a little angry, rather emotional. It's a good thing. 1010 01:13:45,935 --> 01:13:47,286 Good. Let it go. 1011 01:13:47,756 --> 01:13:50,247 Is that the best you can do for seventy-nine ninety-five a month? 1012 01:13:52,294 --> 01:13:54,592 Steven Seagal is like 500 pounds now. 1013 01:13:55,497 --> 01:13:58,261 They use body doubles for everything, but this. 1014 01:14:01,003 --> 01:14:02,550 How many times do I have to tell you? 1015 01:14:02,650 --> 01:14:04,854 I am opposed to the occupation. 1016 01:14:04,954 --> 01:14:09,968 I have railed against it in every significant journal in the world! 1017 01:14:13,614 --> 01:14:18,745 I think you are mistaking me with someone who actually gives a fuck. 1018 01:14:20,722 --> 01:14:22,438 Hey, you're just a gift for us, babe. 1019 01:14:22,538 --> 01:14:24,004 What do I do when I get to Nafluni? 1020 01:14:24,104 --> 01:14:27,445 There's a Mobil station on your right. See it? 1021 01:14:27,545 --> 01:14:28,745 Yeah. I think so. 1022 01:14:28,845 --> 01:14:31,892 Great. Take the next right. Follow the road. 1023 01:14:32,768 --> 01:14:34,759 If you're a praying man, I'd start about now. 1024 01:14:37,206 --> 01:14:39,299 Can we kill her already? I'm getting hungry. 1025 01:14:39,408 --> 01:14:42,172 We're still working out the international distribution rights. 1026 01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:47,472 I want to... 1027 01:14:49,284 --> 01:14:51,218 put the camera lower this time. 1028 01:14:51,788 --> 01:14:53,949 Oh, you mean like the construction guard decapitation, huh? 1029 01:14:54,723 --> 01:14:56,674 But you want it from here to there or from there to here? 1030 01:14:56,774 --> 01:14:58,622 - All the way. - All the way's gonna be messy. 1031 01:14:58,727 --> 01:14:59,785 Yeah, but it's art. 1032 01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:38,762 - Do you have any candy? - No. Get lost. 1033 01:15:39,635 --> 01:15:42,035 I told you these assholes never have shit. 1034 01:15:43,205 --> 01:15:44,604 Looking for the kidnapped bitch? 1035 01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:48,153 American? 1036 01:15:48,253 --> 01:15:50,838 We have three. Two yellow hair and one dark hair. 1037 01:15:50,946 --> 01:15:51,935 Dark hair. 1038 01:15:56,652 --> 01:15:57,477 Where? 1039 01:16:00,756 --> 01:16:01,723 Show me. 1040 01:16:14,469 --> 01:16:22,433 10? No. How about 20? Okay. It's a deal. 1041 01:16:23,545 --> 01:16:25,308 Shut up! Let's do it. 1042 01:16:34,289 --> 01:16:36,154 Don't shoot, man! 1043 01:16:37,859 --> 01:16:39,588 Hey, we're sorry. Chill. 1044 01:16:39,695 --> 01:16:41,545 I'm sorry, just take the girl. We don't want the girl. 1045 01:16:41,645 --> 01:16:43,914 We just, we do movies, man. We love to make movies. 1046 01:16:44,014 --> 01:16:45,193 Yeah, yeah, movies. 1047 01:16:46,068 --> 01:16:47,592 Don't get up, guys. We gotta run. 1048 01:16:52,240 --> 01:16:54,504 Fuck, dude. That was intense. 1049 01:16:57,012 --> 01:16:59,207 Okay. We're okay. 1050 01:17:05,087 --> 01:17:08,079 Next time bring some candy asshole. 1051 01:17:09,725 --> 01:17:13,674 Mr. Hauser? I told you Fallaf was not a good idea, didn't I? 1052 01:17:13,774 --> 01:17:16,845 It's a no-go zone. And you went. 1053 01:17:16,945 --> 01:17:18,399 That was not a good idea. 1054 01:17:29,511 --> 01:17:30,268 Get down! 1055 01:17:33,714 --> 01:17:34,471 Go. 1056 01:17:40,322 --> 01:17:42,756 Could you please try to call Natalie again? 1057 01:17:48,897 --> 01:17:50,545 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1058 01:17:50,645 --> 01:17:52,646 What, my English not so good? 1059 01:17:52,746 --> 01:17:54,224 Come on. I love you. 1060 01:17:56,638 --> 01:17:59,072 Come on here. Come on here. 1061 01:18:10,185 --> 01:18:12,710 Get down, get down! 1062 01:18:18,293 --> 01:18:19,260 Get up. 1063 01:18:39,614 --> 01:18:40,829 Hey, you in charge? 1064 01:18:40,929 --> 01:18:44,032 - Who the fuck's in charge? - No one! I'm no one! 1065 01:18:44,132 --> 01:18:46,553 - What are you lookin' at, bitch? - I'm no one! 1066 01:20:07,068 --> 01:20:10,128 A couple of quick announcements. 1067 01:20:10,705 --> 01:20:14,436 The panel discussion, the Redemptive Power of the Hedge Fund Derivative... 1068 01:20:14,910 --> 01:20:17,242 has been moved to the mini ballroom. 1069 01:20:17,746 --> 01:20:21,238 Don't forget to go to the Meet and Greet cocktail reception... 1070 01:20:21,783 --> 01:20:26,618 at the Tiki Room at five and pick up your gift bags. 1071 01:20:27,022 --> 01:20:31,308 They've got a coffee mug and a desert umbrella... 1072 01:20:31,408 --> 01:20:33,725 foam beer Koozie and a... 1073 01:20:34,728 --> 01:20:37,243 autographed copy from you know who... 1074 01:20:37,343 --> 01:20:41,200 of "How I Conquered the World and Worked Out Issues With My Dad". 1075 01:21:34,089 --> 01:21:35,113 Take care of the kid. 1076 01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,257 'Cause I might have to go too. 1077 01:21:42,597 --> 01:21:43,689 You don't have to. 1078 01:21:45,967 --> 01:21:46,797 Yes, I do. 1079 01:23:20,628 --> 01:23:21,458 Natalie. 1080 01:23:21,963 --> 01:23:25,524 I saw your face and creation held its breath. 1081 01:23:26,201 --> 01:23:27,463 I'm coming. 1082 01:23:31,906 --> 01:23:33,874 No, no, no... 1083 01:23:41,149 --> 01:23:43,933 Silly me. I was expecting a beautiful woman. 1084 01:23:44,033 --> 01:23:44,781 Sorry. 1085 01:23:45,253 --> 01:23:45,981 Hauser... 1086 01:23:46,654 --> 01:23:49,088 Love does get one into difficult situations. 1087 01:23:50,025 --> 01:23:51,253 Somebody's gonna kill you. 1088 01:23:53,761 --> 01:23:54,785 It was supposed to be me. 1089 01:23:56,297 --> 01:23:57,525 Triple your security. 1090 01:23:58,833 --> 01:23:59,993 Stay off the streets. 1091 01:24:00,602 --> 01:24:03,036 With a little skill you may actually stay alive. 1092 01:24:15,784 --> 01:24:18,082 - How may I thank you? - No need. 1093 01:24:26,194 --> 01:24:28,662 We're in a constant state of war, Hauser. 1094 01:24:29,664 --> 01:24:31,712 We kill our brothers, complete strangers... 1095 01:24:31,812 --> 01:24:32,960 the guilty and the innocent. 1096 01:24:34,637 --> 01:24:36,662 We are at war with our own hearts. 1097 01:24:37,138 --> 01:24:39,936 Love is a cease-fire that's destined to fail. 1098 01:24:40,708 --> 01:24:42,869 But, as I said... 1099 01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:46,213 it does get us into tricky situations. 1100 01:24:48,616 --> 01:24:51,050 Sometimes the back of a garbage truck. 1101 01:24:56,057 --> 01:24:58,890 The ultimate Chickenhawk is roosting close-by. 1102 01:25:06,768 --> 01:25:07,632 Good luck. 1103 01:25:20,949 --> 01:25:22,576 She says she's a bridesmaid. 1104 01:25:24,785 --> 01:25:27,913 - You got an extra dress? - Yes. 1105 01:25:29,557 --> 01:25:30,819 For all of us at Tamerlane... 1106 01:25:31,459 --> 01:25:34,176 I extend a heartfelt good luck and God bless... 1107 01:25:34,276 --> 01:25:35,695 whoever that god may be. 1108 01:25:36,197 --> 01:25:38,563 To our happy young couple. Shalom. 1109 01:25:40,335 --> 01:25:41,058 Shit. 1110 01:26:05,059 --> 01:26:07,118 We have someone to do your hair and makeup. 1111 01:26:08,096 --> 01:26:09,495 I could do this. 1112 01:26:10,198 --> 01:26:11,665 Sit down! 1113 01:26:14,169 --> 01:26:15,158 Clean yourself! 1114 01:26:19,240 --> 01:26:22,732 We gotta go to the viceroy. Where the hell is Hauser? 1115 01:26:24,245 --> 01:26:25,007 Asshole. 1116 01:26:27,682 --> 01:26:28,439 All right. 1117 01:26:32,253 --> 01:26:36,189 I am going to tell that bastard that I want to go shopping in America. 1118 01:26:36,723 --> 01:26:39,749 And I never come back. Can I stay with you? 1119 01:26:40,395 --> 01:26:42,590 Yes. Yes. Yes. 1120 01:26:57,378 --> 01:26:58,345 It's time. 1121 01:27:22,237 --> 01:27:25,555 Where are you? I wanna see you. 1122 01:27:25,655 --> 01:27:28,188 Hauser. I'm about to address the weddin'. 1123 01:27:28,288 --> 01:27:30,176 You're just gonna have to wait 'til I'm done. 1124 01:27:30,678 --> 01:27:31,906 I've waited long enough. 1125 01:27:48,563 --> 01:27:49,655 Hauser. 1126 01:27:50,898 --> 01:27:54,664 Hello, Walken. You look fabulous. 1127 01:27:55,336 --> 01:27:56,735 How did you know? 1128 01:27:57,338 --> 01:27:59,183 Where else would you be? 1129 01:27:59,283 --> 01:28:01,389 And going to the Viceroy in five... 1130 01:28:01,489 --> 01:28:04,001 four, three, two... 1131 01:28:04,812 --> 01:28:07,163 Wonderful opportunities here, Hauser. 1132 01:28:07,263 --> 01:28:11,548 As long as these towel-heads don't look up freedom in the dictionary. 1133 01:28:11,653 --> 01:28:16,507 To use one of your own homespun colloquialisms let's cut the shit, shall we? 1134 01:28:16,607 --> 01:28:17,806 That is your viceroy? 1135 01:28:17,906 --> 01:28:20,554 You know what your problem is, Hauser? You're a moralist. 1136 01:28:20,662 --> 01:28:23,514 That's why you're so much fun to fuck with. 1137 01:28:23,614 --> 01:28:28,148 War is the improvement of investments by other means. 1138 01:28:28,248 --> 01:28:32,570 For dummies. The USA is a subdivision of Tamerlane. 1139 01:28:32,674 --> 01:28:36,121 Democracy, the war on terror, the war on drugs... 1140 01:28:36,221 --> 01:28:39,338 these are all focus group slogans for Tamerlane. 1141 01:28:39,447 --> 01:28:44,578 You murdered my wife. And I'm here to kill you for that. 1142 01:28:44,685 --> 01:28:48,746 You were such a superb killing machine, Hauser. 1143 01:28:48,856 --> 01:28:49,823 What happened to you? 1144 01:28:50,626 --> 01:28:52,560 You've had a whole week to kill Omar. 1145 01:28:53,061 --> 01:28:57,178 Of course I could have liquidated you after you thought you'd killed me. 1146 01:28:57,278 --> 01:29:00,814 Right after I tried to kiss you and you threw me in the garbage truck. 1147 01:29:00,914 --> 01:29:05,703 It's gonna be hard to torture someone who's mostly dead. 1148 01:29:06,908 --> 01:29:08,671 But I'm gonna try... 1149 01:29:10,645 --> 01:29:11,759 to enjoy it. 1150 01:29:11,859 --> 01:29:16,249 But, by killing the woman and kidnapping the girl... 1151 01:29:16,351 --> 01:29:17,181 Oh, my God. 1152 01:29:17,285 --> 01:29:19,001 ...that was so much more satisfying. 1153 01:29:19,101 --> 01:29:21,715 I left you in a state of constant agony. 1154 01:29:21,823 --> 01:29:26,226 You ever wonder what the ideology of vibrio cholerae bacterium... 1155 01:29:26,327 --> 01:29:31,811 or the system of Yersinia pestis the bacteria that causes bubonic plague. 1156 01:29:31,911 --> 01:29:33,127 I'll tell you, Hauser. 1157 01:29:33,868 --> 01:29:35,426 Perpetuation. 1158 01:29:35,970 --> 01:29:38,029 An infinite succession of generations. 1159 01:29:38,139 --> 01:29:40,334 Immortality on the installment plan. 1160 01:29:40,441 --> 01:29:42,624 I wish I had that sort of esprit d'corps. 1161 01:29:42,724 --> 01:29:44,645 That bacterial team spirit. 1162 01:29:45,480 --> 01:29:49,746 Talk about legacy. Talk about empire. 1163 01:29:50,785 --> 01:29:54,346 You're gonna tell me what you did with her... 1164 01:29:56,524 --> 01:29:57,991 then I'm gonna kill you again. 1165 01:29:58,626 --> 01:30:00,821 - Do you understand, old man? - Don't you get it? 1166 01:30:01,662 --> 01:30:03,027 Your daughter happens... 1167 01:30:07,602 --> 01:30:09,035 Shut it down! 1168 01:30:10,538 --> 01:30:12,165 Your daughter, Hauser. 1169 01:30:16,878 --> 01:30:24,250 Your daughter is about to be married. And, Daddy you're the father of the bride. 1170 01:30:28,289 --> 01:30:31,087 God, that's a conversation stopper. 1171 01:30:32,260 --> 01:30:34,751 Well, you just sit back and enjoy the show. 1172 01:30:35,563 --> 01:30:38,123 You must be a real proud daddy. 1173 01:30:41,002 --> 01:30:42,060 Here she comes. 1174 01:30:46,340 --> 01:30:48,706 Ain't you the proudest daddy? Look at that. 1175 01:30:49,076 --> 01:30:50,168 She turned out good. 1176 01:30:50,578 --> 01:30:54,810 She looks good in that white dress and those little white boots. 1177 01:30:59,053 --> 01:31:01,749 A white dress and white boots. 1178 01:31:07,195 --> 01:31:08,025 Oh, look at that. 1179 01:31:08,596 --> 01:31:10,947 Don't you think the little whore turned out well? 1180 01:31:11,047 --> 01:31:14,548 I promised her Daddy would be here. And here you are. 1181 01:31:14,648 --> 01:31:15,432 Shoot him! 1182 01:31:16,270 --> 01:31:18,101 The father of the bride! 1183 01:31:46,667 --> 01:31:48,726 Hauser! Where are you, Hauser? 1184 01:31:49,604 --> 01:31:52,585 Come on, fight me like a dude. Face me Hauser. 1185 01:31:52,685 --> 01:31:53,619 Come on! 1186 01:31:53,719 --> 01:31:56,404 I can control all of this with my eyes. 1187 01:32:35,816 --> 01:32:36,610 Yonica! 1188 01:32:38,819 --> 01:32:40,081 - Yonica. - Shut the fuck up! 1189 01:32:41,489 --> 01:32:43,218 - Yonica. Yonica. - Shut the fuck up! Shut up. 1190 01:32:45,993 --> 01:32:46,925 Get done, come on. 1191 01:32:47,728 --> 01:32:51,778 Dearly beloved, friends, believers and infidels. 1192 01:32:51,878 --> 01:32:53,424 We are gathered here today... 1193 01:32:54,101 --> 01:32:58,021 to join together in holy matrimony this man and this... 1194 01:32:58,121 --> 01:33:01,336 Yonica! Yonica! 1195 01:33:01,442 --> 01:33:02,201 Hauser! 1196 01:33:09,050 --> 01:33:12,542 You can't do this. I won't let you. 1197 01:33:14,755 --> 01:33:15,881 I'm your father. 1198 01:33:19,327 --> 01:33:20,084 Catch him. 1199 01:33:24,698 --> 01:33:25,494 It's me. 1200 01:33:27,702 --> 01:33:29,932 I've loved you since the minute you were born. 1201 01:33:30,538 --> 01:33:31,732 I will kill you! 1202 01:33:41,148 --> 01:33:42,274 It's gonna be okay. 1203 01:33:58,499 --> 01:34:00,467 We're gonna be a family again. 1204 01:34:18,619 --> 01:34:21,952 Come on! 1205 01:34:32,800 --> 01:34:34,516 Yonica, Yonica. 1206 01:34:34,616 --> 01:34:35,762 Let go of that! Don't do that. 1207 01:34:37,304 --> 01:34:38,771 What's going on? 1208 01:34:42,743 --> 01:34:43,537 Go, go, go, go, go! 1209 01:34:43,812 --> 01:34:44,676 Go, go, go! 1210 01:34:51,652 --> 01:34:55,179 Get me back to the bunker. Headset. 1211 01:34:56,257 --> 01:34:57,690 Get me a tomahawk. 1212 01:34:58,792 --> 01:35:00,677 Blow this whole fuckin' place to shit. 1213 01:35:00,777 --> 01:35:01,538 Yes, sir. 1214 01:35:01,638 --> 01:35:04,792 Terrorists at the weddin'. We've got 'em cornered. 1215 01:35:05,499 --> 01:35:07,490 So close to the bunker could be dangerous, sir. 1216 01:35:08,402 --> 01:35:10,495 Haven't you heard of a surgical strike? 1217 01:35:12,473 --> 01:35:14,168 - Launch it. - Firing two-one. 1218 01:35:28,289 --> 01:35:30,655 Viceroy coming through. Viceroy coming through. 1219 01:35:32,593 --> 01:35:34,652 You should have let me finish the job! 1220 01:35:49,777 --> 01:35:52,696 Tamerlane weapons are precision-guided... 1221 01:35:52,796 --> 01:35:54,680 to minimize collateral damage. 1222 01:35:55,616 --> 01:35:59,347 Not only is our technology the most advanced in the world... 1223 01:35:59,487 --> 01:36:02,536 but also with a smart missile system... 1224 01:36:02,636 --> 01:36:05,504 we can launch a matchstick in Milwaukee... 1225 01:36:05,604 --> 01:36:09,325 and stick it up the ass of termite in Tehran. 1226 01:36:25,780 --> 01:36:26,974 Shit happens. 1227 01:36:36,757 --> 01:36:37,815 This blows. 1228 01:36:39,493 --> 01:36:42,587 "Killer, Whores and Jackals. Behind Brand USA". 1229 01:36:42,696 --> 01:36:43,579 Good title, huh? 1230 01:36:43,679 --> 01:36:44,513 It's a little wordy. 1231 01:36:44,613 --> 01:36:45,690 Vehicle from the front! 1232 01:36:48,235 --> 01:36:49,725 All right, that's it! Hold it! 1233 01:36:53,574 --> 01:36:57,169 We are going to honeymoon. 1234 01:36:59,146 --> 01:37:01,546 Dude, it's the newlyweds! 1235 01:37:01,650 --> 01:37:02,465 Hey! Stand down! 1236 01:37:02,565 --> 01:37:07,112 Yonica, congratulations. Your chariot's right this way. 1237 01:37:07,655 --> 01:37:08,553 Thank you. 1238 01:37:09,223 --> 01:37:11,987 - I have your poster on my wall. - No, he's lyin'. It's my wall. 1239 01:37:12,526 --> 01:37:14,653 I used to... no. Bye. 1240 01:37:29,243 --> 01:37:30,471 Run, run, run. 1241 01:37:31,011 --> 01:37:31,978 Run, run, run. 1242 01:37:35,749 --> 01:37:37,580 I cannot fucking believe this. 1243 01:37:39,787 --> 01:37:43,707 Yonica, I know I saved you but I don't want you putting me up on a pedestal. 1244 01:37:43,807 --> 01:37:45,506 I'm just a person, just a man. 1245 01:37:45,606 --> 01:37:47,026 Are you crazy? Where have you been? 1246 01:37:47,995 --> 01:37:50,725 - You are a fucking asshole, you know? - Oh, I feel much better. 1247 01:37:51,632 --> 01:37:52,826 Go. Turn this thing on! 1248 01:37:58,372 --> 01:38:01,353 So you don't want her to be an assassin like you. 1249 01:38:01,453 --> 01:38:03,922 Well, don't worry because I want to be like you. 1250 01:38:04,022 --> 01:38:05,535 - Yonica, don't be so sarcastic. - I'm not. 1251 01:38:07,414 --> 01:38:09,905 - Where are we going? - I don't know. 1252 01:38:10,451 --> 01:38:11,767 What do you mean, I don't know? 1253 01:38:11,867 --> 01:38:13,501 When I said I don't know, it means I don't know. 1254 01:38:13,601 --> 01:38:15,215 - GuideStar! - Welcome back, Mr. Hauser. 1255 01:38:15,322 --> 01:38:17,313 I can book you an hotel, make you a dinner reservation. 1256 01:38:17,424 --> 01:38:18,639 You wanna just be spontaneous? 1257 01:38:18,739 --> 01:38:22,011 Spontaneous? It's Memorial Day weekend, what if everything's full? 1258 01:38:22,111 --> 01:38:23,980 It's not gonna be full. Jerry, am I right? 1259 01:38:24,080 --> 01:38:25,611 Don't get Jerry involved in this. 1260 01:38:25,711 --> 01:38:27,516 Would you two stop fighting? 1261 01:38:27,616 --> 01:38:29,418 We're not fighting. We're just discussing. 1262 01:38:29,518 --> 01:38:31,388 - It be sounding like fighting. - Now she hates fighting. 1263 01:38:31,488 --> 01:38:33,269 Well, what do you expect? Look at her father! 1264 01:38:33,374 --> 01:38:35,388 This is the former vice president speaking. 1265 01:38:35,488 --> 01:38:38,896 In response to the cowardly and unprovoked terrorist... 1266 01:38:38,996 --> 01:38:40,695 attack on the Emerald City mall... 1267 01:38:40,795 --> 01:38:44,465 Tamerlane is pleased to announce that it has been awarded the contract... 1268 01:38:44,565 --> 01:38:46,280 to preemptively strike Ugikistan... 1269 01:38:46,921 --> 01:38:49,435 which intelligence has confirmed is behind this... 1270 01:38:49,535 --> 01:38:51,457 and hundreds of other attacks in Turaqistan. 1271 01:38:51,992 --> 01:38:55,541 America cannot stand idly by and allow hostile foreign powers... 1272 01:38:55,641 --> 01:38:57,460 to meddle in Turaqi affairs. 1273 01:38:57,865 --> 01:38:59,682 Intelligence has also conclusively stated... 1274 01:38:59,782 --> 01:39:03,119 that the Ugikis are developing a nuclear arsenal... 1275 01:39:03,219 --> 01:39:06,866 and we cannot let the smoking gun come in the form of a mushroom cloud.