1 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,222 Corky, why don't you tell us your story. 2 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:06,689 Well, as you know, my story is not 3 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,939 a "really tragic" story, unless... 4 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,361 boredom is tragic. 5 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:14,739 I, um... 6 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:20,112 you know, I was married. I had every comfort you could ask for. 7 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:24,415 I thought that's what was gonna make my life meaningful. 8 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:28,916 I just stopped wanting to go to parties, and... 9 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,337 play tennis... 10 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,170 with my girlfriends. 11 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:38,888 For the record, I'd like to say 12 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:42,092 that I think I'd rather iron sheets than play tennis any day. 13 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:46,722 When I was, uh, about 11 years old, 14 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:50,434 I lived with my grandmother near the Black Forest, and... 15 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:53,486 In a little house, second floor, 16 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:54,688 and I had a cat. 17 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,565 Her name was Fifi. 18 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,577 Well, I did get an Oregon Cultural Heritage Award. 19 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,197 Ah, these awards are not important. 20 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,078 - Please. - Okay. 21 00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:10,583 I got a prescription for Valium, which at least made the days go... 22 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,997 by quicker. 23 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,378 Yeah, okay, there's this rock 24 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,553 that was about this big that had these grooves in it, 25 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,347 like, uh, you know, little bumps, and I said, 26 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,971 "Well, Aunt Janey, what is this?" 27 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,219 And she said, "What? You don't know what that is?" 28 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,645 And I was like, "No." 29 00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,267 And she's like, "Well, that's my titty rock." 30 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,601 And I was like, "Your titty rock?" She was like, "Yeah, my titty rock." 31 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,315 "That's for when you get in fights with girls. 32 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:38,523 You punch 'em in the tit with it." Not joking, not kidding. 33 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:41,234 Then one day, I just, like, 34 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,329 took off all my clothes and walked down the street. 35 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:48,199 And... 36 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,122 the mailman... 37 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,123 found me and... 38 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:56,504 he brought me home and called my husband, like I was a child. 39 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,590 And I, you know, I'm still wearing my wedding ring, but... 40 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,174 I'm... 41 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,132 divorced now, and I'm... I'm much happier. 42 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:07,386 Maybe life's actually not supposed to be... 43 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,523 as meaningful as we think it is. 44 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,316 - Thanks, Corky. - Thanks, Corky. 45 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,314 Mm. 46 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:52,414 Ladies and gentlemen, 47 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:56,120 please welcome to the stage Portland's celebrity cartoonist 48 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,296 John Callahan! 49 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,268 Hi. My name is John, and I'm an alcoholic. 50 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,099 Hi, John. 51 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,900 Hi. It's good to be here. 52 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,319 The last day that I walked, 53 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,906 I... I woke up without a hangover. 54 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:34,077 The last day I walked, I woke up without a hangover. 55 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:37,410 I was still loaded from drinking the night before. 56 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:04,362 I knew I had an hour or so of grace before the... 57 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:05,437 nervousness... 58 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,449 of withdrawal symptoms set in. 59 00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,716 What if I lost control, flipped out? 60 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,632 Fuck. 61 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,261 The closest store where I could buy booze 62 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,189 was near a major intersection. 63 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,448 - How are you? - Staying cool? 64 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,446 - It's hot out there, isn't it? - Yeah. 65 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,327 - Good beach weather. - Yeah. Whew. 66 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,908 I tried to talk to the... 67 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,794 owner of the store and act real casual. 68 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,246 I work for Alvarado house painter. 69 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,751 - Oh. - We got tons of work. 70 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:07,128 Oh, you know, like I had everything under control. 71 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,593 But... 72 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,092 they'd have to be blind not to see my hand shaking. 73 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:13,972 Um... 74 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:18,386 Yeah, I guess I'll just take that, uh, Tres Abuelos. 75 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,596 Yeah, tequila. 76 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,269 Hey, how's it going? 77 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,321 Wow, pretty groovy day, huh? 78 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:12,690 Oh, yeah. 79 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,071 - Surf's coming up. - Yeah. 80 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,579 Sky gets any bluer, it'll be singing a Muddy Waters tune. 81 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:19,989 Sorry? 82 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:22,870 I'm a songwriter. 83 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:25,294 I listen to a lot of different music. 84 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,413 - Um... - Want a drink? 85 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,499 I'm... I'm good. 86 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,754 Um, I'll see you around sometime, okay? 87 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,086 Oh. All right. 88 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,387 You've got a problem, Callahan. 89 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,233 I know three things about my real mother: 90 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:50,106 she was Irish-American, she had red hair, 91 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,357 she was a school teacher. 92 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,276 Oh, yeah. 93 00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:56,612 And she didn't want me. 94 00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:58,323 Okay. 95 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,371 Four things. 96 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,496 The way with illegitimate Catholic babies in those days 97 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,999 was to remove them from the mother of birth... 98 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,751 ...and put them in the care of the nuns for six months 99 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,958 in case the natural mother should change her mind. 100 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,091 Was my mother a queen? 101 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:17,504 Was she a whore? 102 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:22,222 Could I locate her and surprise her, say, at a bank teller's window? 103 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,269 "Yeah, I'd like to cash this check, Mom." 104 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,508 Oh, fuck. Help! 105 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,435 - Oh, hey. - Dude, you wiped out. 106 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:05,887 - Nice. - Can you help me up? 107 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,893 - Yeah, all right. - Easy, though. 108 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,689 - Okay. - All right, now, nice and easy. 109 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:10,937 Don't try and show off. 110 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,019 - Yeah! Oh! - Here, come around, turn around. 111 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,445 - Here we go. - All right. 112 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:15,863 - Okay. - Watch it. 113 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,066 - Careful, careful. - There we go. There we go. 114 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,025 Yeah, lift him up. 115 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,612 - You guys smell that? - Oh, what's that smell? 116 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,037 - Oh, that reeks, man. - Oh. 117 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,207 Yeah, pull up that right leg right there. 118 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,282 - Right here? - Yeah. 119 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,538 - You got it, dude. - Yeah. 120 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,494 Yeah, you lift up that right pant leg there. 121 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,500 Be brave. 122 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,456 Yeah, just attach that into the white thing. 123 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,754 All right. 124 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,420 - Thank you. - You draw this? 125 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,595 - Yeah. - Whoa. 126 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:41,889 - You get it? - Awesome. Yeah. 127 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:42,886 Yeah. 128 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,393 Don't worry, boys. 129 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,266 He won't get far on foot. 130 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,312 It's a wheelchair. 131 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,436 He can't get far because he's injured, right? 132 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,062 - That's right. Yeah. - Okay, all right! 133 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,564 Yeah, well, you know, 134 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,316 my grandmom's in a wheelchair, so... 135 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,567 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 136 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,693 - Sorry about that. - Yeah. 137 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,365 I draw these for a living, but, you know, 138 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,283 people get mad at me 'cause of the subject matter. 139 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,032 - Not us. - That's ridiculous. 140 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,658 - These are awesome. - All right. Cool. 141 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,410 - Is that a car crash? - Yeah. 142 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,786 - What is that? - There's, like, a dead guy 143 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,368 - under the car. - Are those all booze and stuff? 144 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:11,417 Whoa. 145 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,996 There's a five-dollar bill in my left shirt pocket. 146 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,422 Go get me a short case. 147 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:37,061 Oh, they could do it and they'll do it over there! 148 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:45,945 Hey, Snickers. 149 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,453 How was your day? 150 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,157 Did you find any time to get in some exercise? 151 00:11:58,009 --> 00:12:00,422 You fucking asshole! 152 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,721 You're fucking late! I've been sitting here all goddamn day! 153 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,468 It's been fucking wet! 154 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,392 I got shit all over my pants and there's no fucking drinks! 155 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,435 You didn't leave me a goddamn fucking drink! 156 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,807 It's been three fucking hours! 157 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,890 What do you actually fucking do? 158 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,817 I signed up to be your attendant, not your slave. 159 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:20,650 Bossing me around, you fucking don't even give me five seconds 160 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,402 before you're telling me what to do. 161 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,030 I told you I fucking hate it when you give me orders. 162 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,951 I'm gonna get to it when I feel like it, John. 163 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,740 All right? How would you like it if I started pushing you around all day? 164 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,003 I'll give you a bath in a minute. 165 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,793 I need to wind down. Here you go. 166 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,083 Celebrate your independence. 167 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,098 President Carter's standing 168 00:12:56,192 --> 00:13:00,027 in our NBC News Associated Press poll has declined again. 169 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:03,072 Not much, but the decline has been steady. 170 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,774 This is one of the findings in our latest telephone sample 171 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:09,532 of the opinions of about 1,600 people around the country last week. 172 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,219 I drink, I hit rock bottom. 173 00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:34,474 And I'd drink more and hit rock bottom again. 174 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,937 I had to admit to myself that I was powerless over alcohol. 175 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,484 I was searching for something else. 176 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,192 You sure you want to go to an AA meeting, John? 177 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,906 I've never really believed in their whole thing. 178 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,044 Oh, I'm sorry, 179 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,385 but, uh, we can't have anybody quite this grotesque in here. 180 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,472 For the love of God, I'm Reba. 181 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,724 Oh, hi. I'm John. 182 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,851 Welcome to the Alano Club. 183 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,442 I thought you were serious. 184 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,565 No dogs, no quads. 185 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,317 No. Come on, now. 186 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,949 God, grant me the serenity... 187 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,753 ...serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 188 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:43,501 the courage to change the things I can, 189 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,924 and the wisdom to know the difference. 190 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,798 Anyone under 90 days? 191 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,350 Hi, I'm Felix, and I'm an alcoholic. 192 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,392 Hi, Felix. 193 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,471 - Hi, guys. Uh... - Welcome. 194 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,430 This is day 14. 195 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:01,436 Good job. 196 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:09,823 Uh, hi. I'm Joseph. I'm an alcoholic. 197 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,571 Hi, Joseph. 198 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,826 Today, I have 56 days. 199 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,246 Awesome. 200 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,826 It's tough, 'cause, you know, out there, 201 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:24,663 I feel like people want to hear how many years you've been sober. 202 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,044 But, uh, you know, coming here, 203 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:30,549 I'm reminded how special it is that I'm where I'm at, so... 204 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,464 I remember a time when I didn't think 30 days was possible, 205 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:36,801 but here I am, so... thank you. 206 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,391 Anyone else want to speak? 207 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,436 My name's John Callahan, and I don't know who my real mother is, 208 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,237 and I was paralyzed in a car accident. 209 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,197 And... 210 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,074 and I'm an alcoholic. 211 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,656 Hi, John. 212 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,951 Good to know you, John Callahan, 213 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,376 who is an alcoholic. 214 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,079 You're in the right place, I think. 215 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,545 I'm Donnie, and I'm an alcoholic. 216 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,171 Hi, Donnie. 217 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:13,174 Hi. 218 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:16,098 And when I first entered the program, 219 00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:19,518 I had two pairs of pants, 220 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,221 one with shit in them and one without. 221 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,602 And I didn't care which one of them I was wearing. 222 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,236 Today, I celebrate mediocrity. 223 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:38,329 I woke up and I put on a non-shitty pair of pants. 224 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,748 And I walked to get a cup of coffee, 225 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,076 and it was fucking delicious. 226 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,709 And my day's been pretty good, 227 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:50,336 until I came in here and saw all of you. 228 00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,344 Continue your story, John. 229 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,093 Oh, right. 230 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,183 The story. Um... 231 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,728 Well, I got back to the house around 4:00, 232 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:08,267 and saw Jesus Alvarado, my... 233 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,314 employer. 234 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:18,864 Shit. 235 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,321 John, what's up? 236 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:24,832 I want you to meet Bill. 237 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:27,460 - Hey. - Hey. 238 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:31,086 My small-town experience was... 239 00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:35,089 limited concerning disability. 240 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,761 - How you doing? John. - Good, good. 241 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,632 Jesus wanted me to look at the guy's pen. 242 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,142 Check that out. 243 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:45,721 Got to turn it upside down. 244 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,108 Uh, I went inside for a drink. 245 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,357 I'm coming back for events. 246 00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,317 - Oh, my God, I've lost it. - Ah! Yes! 247 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,778 - What's going on? - I've lost the touch. 248 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:01,907 - My shoe! - Hi, John. 249 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,705 - This is Bonnie. - Oh, hi. 250 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,373 I hear you're from, um, Oregon. 251 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:06,290 That's right. 252 00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:07,743 What do you guys do up there for fun? 253 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,544 Well, there's not a lot to do in Oregon, you know? 254 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,872 So a certain percentage of the population drives down here 255 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,798 to Long Beach to look for jobs. 256 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:16,251 We are going to a party tonight, if you want to come. 257 00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,256 Oh, really? 258 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:18,428 - Uh-huh. - Yeah. 259 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,880 - Well... - Want to drive us there? 260 00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:22,136 - I mean, I... Ooh. - Oh. 261 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:26,519 Oh. 262 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,268 We're... 263 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,731 We're getting in trouble tonight. 264 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,226 Am I happy? 265 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,231 No. So... 266 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,609 Divorced? Yeah. 267 00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:38,281 I'm seeing a couple guys now. 268 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,575 I've been going to therapy. Have you ever gone? 269 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:43,074 It'd be so good for you. 270 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:44,780 Just gotten off meat. 271 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,331 Been kicking dairy. 272 00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:49,626 I'm gonna do life without eggs now. 273 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,955 Hey, um, I just need to use the bathroom really quick. 274 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,041 - Will you... will you be here? - Uh, yeah. Okay. 275 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:20,524 Hey, Terry, where's that girl I was just talking to? 276 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,905 - Um, the redhead girl? - Yeah. 277 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,328 I think she just left with some friends. 278 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,530 - She left the party? - Mm-hmm. 279 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,957 Well, good for her. 280 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,659 - You guys are still here. - She got places to be. 281 00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,664 - You're stuck with us. - Yeah. 282 00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:35,247 - Nah. - Far fucking out. Dexter. 283 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,674 I'm Dexter. Hey. I'm Dexter. 284 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:39,675 John. 285 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,177 - John. - Yeah. 286 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:42,253 How 'bout that girl? 287 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,390 Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. 288 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,267 She left. 289 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,020 - She was digging you, man. - Yeah. 290 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,813 Yeah. Take you home, 291 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:55,021 have a little sophisticated LA sex. 292 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,562 No, all she wanted to do was talk about her colon. 293 00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:02,821 That's what all people in LA talk about, their colons. 294 00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,867 And that's 'cause they're all assholes. 295 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:07,116 Yes. Where are you from? 296 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,620 - I'm not from here... - Ah, shit. Turn that shit off, man! 297 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:12,875 - Making me sick! - What are you talking about? 298 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,419 - Too much Dylan! - Too much Dylan? 299 00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:16,462 - You don't know what you're talking about. - The answer, my friend 300 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:17,585 - is blowin' in the wind. - He's a poet! 301 00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:20,543 The answer, my friend, is getting blown 302 00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,172 - in the wind. - You sound like an idiot. 303 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,471 - What are you... - The answer's getting blown 304 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,890 in the wind. 305 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,467 Guy's getting blown, 306 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,052 and he's whining about it! 307 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,513 He's not talking about getting blown. 308 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,347 Getting blown in the wind, 309 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,729 - you fucking moron! - I know! 310 00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:39,026 I was fucking with you! 311 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:42,776 You think I don't know? 312 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,654 Johnny, Johnny, 313 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,031 listen to me, listen to me. 314 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,032 Seriously. 315 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,616 I know a party that's ten times better than this shit-bag. 316 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,244 Let's go there now. There's ten times hotter babes. 317 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,547 We plow the Milagro Beanfield. 318 00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:04,420 Huh? You and me. Come on. 319 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,175 What a promise. 320 00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:10,345 I guess we thought that 321 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,892 "the babes" were fairer on the other side of town. 322 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:21,395 So I left Terry and her friends, and we headed to the next party. 323 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,990 But not before we got even more wasted. 324 00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,942 Hey. Clink it. 325 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,032 Keep 'em comin', bro! 326 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:35,701 Oh. 327 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,005 Some people tell me I look like Burt Reynolds. 328 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:41,171 I don't see it. 329 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:42,923 Do you see it? 330 00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,839 - Yeah. I do. - Thank you. 331 00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:47,796 - You're a sexy man. - Thank you, man! 332 00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:50,223 You're a sexy man. 333 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,597 Can you keep 'em comin'? I don't want to say it. 334 00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,853 I know you got a lot of people up and down to take care of, 335 00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:01,185 but 'member who the main customer... 336 00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,110 How 'bout the whole bottle? 337 00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:04,187 How 'bout the whole bottle? 338 00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,273 How 'bout the whole bottle? 339 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,567 Is that good enough? 340 00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,570 - Hey. Don't get sad. - No. 341 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,825 There's so many more. 342 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,668 Keep 'em comin', bro. We talked about this. 343 00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:24,541 Take the wheel. 344 00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:28,632 I'm back. 345 00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:31,389 Wash it down? 346 00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:38,430 Guess who you're driving with. 347 00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:42,142 I'm the cunnilingus king of Orange County, man. 348 00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,153 I just love yodeling into it. 349 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,906 Oh, shit! That's Scott's Adventure Land! 350 00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:53,328 That's Scott's Adventure Land! 351 00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:55,701 What's Scott's Adventure Land? 352 00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:58,750 You never been to Scott's Adventure Land? I never been to... Let's go there. 353 00:22:58,836 --> 00:23:00,293 Make a U-turn. 354 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:01,961 Just fucking jump over the wall, man. 355 00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:23,062 Oh, yeah. Oh, God. 356 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,105 Draw! 357 00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:31,320 Oh, really? 358 00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:32,617 Don't be a fool, brother. 359 00:23:32,703 --> 00:23:35,491 You just tussled with the wrong cowboy. 360 00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:40,537 You son of a... 361 00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:43,415 No! 362 00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:45,000 No! 363 00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,767 - My car, I drive. - You're in no condition to drive, friend. 364 00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:59,640 - My car, I drive. - I'm gonna take the fucking keys. 365 00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:02,188 - Hey. Hey. - I'm gonna take the fucking keys. 366 00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,981 - You guys are in no condition to drive! - Aah! 367 00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:23,289 Babes. 368 00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:44,515 And that was it. 369 00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:49,899 Dexter had mistaken a Con Edison light pole for an exit 370 00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:52,527 and slammed into it at 90 miles an hour. 371 00:25:09,675 --> 00:25:11,416 Let me know when you're ready. I think... 372 00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:14,674 On three. One, two, three. 373 00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:22,761 Hello, John. I'm Dr. Mirione. 374 00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:27,895 Bright, bright lights. 375 00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:29,646 Surprisingly noisy, isn't it? 376 00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:33,939 Well, there's very little peace and quiet for the dying and nearly dying. 377 00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:35,566 I'm dying? 378 00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:39,323 The average survival time for catastrophic patients here is 12 hours. 379 00:25:40,497 --> 00:25:42,739 Nasty accident you had in that Volkswagen. 380 00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:43,949 I saw the car. 381 00:25:44,835 --> 00:25:47,077 Looks terrible. Looked terrible. 382 00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:51,501 I can't hear you. Talk louder. 383 00:25:52,468 --> 00:25:54,551 What happened to the driver? 384 00:25:54,636 --> 00:25:56,252 What happened to Dexter? 385 00:25:56,346 --> 00:25:57,712 Oh, Dexter Marzynski? 386 00:25:58,098 --> 00:25:59,589 He walked away with a few scratches. 387 00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:01,053 He was very, very lucky. 388 00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:04,935 Jesus Christ. 389 00:26:05,439 --> 00:26:06,646 My heart really goes out to you. 390 00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:09,270 I mean, possibly paralyzed for life. 391 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,401 Nice sunrise, though. 392 00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:22,154 Susan Henry to the nurses' station. 393 00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:16,628 Okay. 394 00:27:18,095 --> 00:27:19,631 Let's see here. 395 00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:24,762 This is a C5, C6, 396 00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:28,095 which is a complete cervical six lesion. 397 00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:29,929 Uh, good shoulder movement. 398 00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:32,936 Uh, complete paralysis of the body and legs. 399 00:27:33,026 --> 00:27:35,018 No finger movement, but good, uh... 400 00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:36,899 I'm not an impostor. 401 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,652 - I'm a real quadriplegic. - Spinal cord severed 402 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:42,905 between the fifth and sixth vertebrae, counting down from the top. 403 00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:46,534 Somewhere between decathlon champion and rigor mortis. 404 00:27:46,623 --> 00:27:49,081 ...half his deltoid, half his, uh, diaphragm. 405 00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:52,661 But if he's not careful, he can choke to death. Yeah. 406 00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:58,000 Uh, this patient over here is a C4-5 neurologically intact. 407 00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:01,127 Uh, a tibia plateau fracture. 408 00:28:01,597 --> 00:28:03,338 Not as catastrophic an injury. 409 00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:17,773 Hi, John. 410 00:28:18,572 --> 00:28:19,562 My name is Annu. 411 00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:24,283 Wow. You're very good-looking. 412 00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:35,915 How are things going here, John? 413 00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:38,710 It's bad. 414 00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:41,880 It's really bad. 415 00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,133 I can't move. 416 00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:48,843 I can't feel my body, and where I can, it just hurts. 417 00:28:50,479 --> 00:28:52,471 I can't take a whiz or anything. 418 00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:55,056 I just feel like I'm going fucking crazy. 419 00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:56,231 Yeah. 420 00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:58,401 Yeah, it doesn't sound like it's going too well. 421 00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:01,817 No, it doesn't. 422 00:29:02,532 --> 00:29:06,025 It's awful. I just don't even know how I'm gonna, like... 423 00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:10,951 I don't know how I can live any life after this. 424 00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:13,875 I just feel like I'm not gonna have any future. 425 00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:16,627 And the doctors don't tell me anything, 426 00:29:16,713 --> 00:29:20,753 but it looks like I'm just gonna be like this for life. 427 00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:22,879 I can't understand this. 428 00:29:22,970 --> 00:29:24,836 Doesn't seem fair. 429 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:28,173 John, you're a very special person. 430 00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:29,970 I feel it. 431 00:29:32,312 --> 00:29:35,020 I brought you some flowers. I hope you like them. 432 00:29:35,983 --> 00:29:36,939 Thank you. 433 00:29:38,110 --> 00:29:39,442 Can I smell them? 434 00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:46,274 That's nice. Thank you. 435 00:29:46,368 --> 00:29:48,360 Would you like me to rub your shoulders? 436 00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:51,662 Yes, please. 437 00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:55,450 It was a lovely day out. Very hot. 438 00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:57,334 Drove here in my convertible. 439 00:29:58,463 --> 00:30:00,546 Do you really think I'm good-looking? 440 00:30:01,550 --> 00:30:04,008 Yes, you're very good-looking. That hasn't changed. 441 00:30:04,553 --> 00:30:06,010 And you have tremendous strength. 442 00:30:06,430 --> 00:30:08,422 You'll go on to have a wonderful life. I can tell. 443 00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:11,011 I pray that I will. 444 00:30:13,395 --> 00:30:15,728 I make prayers to God, you know. 445 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,682 I remember all the promises to God 446 00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:23,270 and pacts with the devil made by characters in Dickens 447 00:30:23,363 --> 00:30:26,527 or, like, Rosemary's Baby, 448 00:30:27,576 --> 00:30:30,489 to, you know, like, change history and make things better 449 00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:32,662 or escape horrible fates. 450 00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:34,538 And what do you say to God? 451 00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:39,251 I say, "Please, don't let me be paralyzed." 452 00:30:40,172 --> 00:30:42,164 I just can't be paralyzed. 453 00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:44,540 Things work out for John Callahan. 454 00:30:44,634 --> 00:30:46,921 I'm just not one of the ones who ends up paralyzed. 455 00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:48,219 I just can't be. 456 00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:53,258 And what about when you're talking to the devil, John? 457 00:30:56,146 --> 00:30:58,012 I say, "I'll give you anything. 458 00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:02,559 Anything you want, just change this." 459 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,228 And you're from Oregon? 460 00:31:06,281 --> 00:31:07,192 That's your home? 461 00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:08,944 Yes. 462 00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:11,325 Yes. The... 463 00:31:13,205 --> 00:31:14,696 The Dalles. 464 00:31:22,506 --> 00:31:24,122 It's sort of a hick town. 465 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,837 We're a bunch of gomers. 466 00:31:30,931 --> 00:31:34,049 Gomers? What is "gomers"? 467 00:31:35,268 --> 00:31:37,760 I like how you say it. "Gomers." 468 00:31:39,356 --> 00:31:41,439 I don't know. I think it just... 469 00:31:42,150 --> 00:31:44,608 you know, it, like, means you're from the country. 470 00:31:44,694 --> 00:31:45,935 It's derogatory. 471 00:31:46,029 --> 00:31:46,985 Ah. 472 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:49,447 Where are you from? 473 00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:50,523 From Stockholm. 474 00:31:51,493 --> 00:31:53,576 There's a lot of fishing there, lots of salmon. 475 00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,198 Oh, same with The Dalles. 476 00:31:57,624 --> 00:31:59,832 - Yeah? - Yeah, lots of salmon. 477 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:01,951 Now we have something in common. 478 00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:04,037 I think we have a lot in common, John. 479 00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,793 Yeah. Salmon. 480 00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:08,715 And we're both gomers. 481 00:32:10,470 --> 00:32:11,802 And what else, John? 482 00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:13,971 I look at the sunrise. 483 00:32:15,725 --> 00:32:17,637 - The sunrise is nice. - Mm-hmm. 484 00:32:18,061 --> 00:32:19,552 It's very calming. 485 00:32:20,856 --> 00:32:23,018 I've been watching the gymnasts out there. 486 00:32:37,247 --> 00:32:39,364 I have to go to my next appointment now, John. 487 00:32:39,916 --> 00:32:41,373 But I'll be seeing you again soon. 488 00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,668 - When? - One day next week. 489 00:32:45,839 --> 00:32:47,671 Very nice to meet you, John. 490 00:32:47,757 --> 00:32:49,714 I liked meeting you, too, Annu. 491 00:32:50,218 --> 00:32:52,756 Thank you. Thank you for my flowers. 492 00:32:53,305 --> 00:32:54,295 See you soon. 493 00:32:56,266 --> 00:32:57,302 Bye. 494 00:33:04,566 --> 00:33:05,932 I'm glad I met Annu. 495 00:33:06,651 --> 00:33:09,519 What about us, John? Aren't you glad you met us? 496 00:33:09,613 --> 00:33:10,694 John doesn't like us. 497 00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:12,021 Well, of course I like you. 498 00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:14,774 I just can't get laid with any of you. 499 00:33:14,868 --> 00:33:16,905 Have you tried? 500 00:33:20,248 --> 00:33:21,489 Well, have you tried? 501 00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:25,539 One, two and three. 502 00:33:25,629 --> 00:33:26,790 Here we go. 503 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:27,791 All right. 504 00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:30,335 Adjust him on three. 505 00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:31,961 One, two, three. 506 00:33:32,636 --> 00:33:34,252 - There we go. - There you go. 507 00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:35,302 All set. 508 00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:41,016 That's the power button right here. 509 00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:42,676 Enjoy. 510 00:34:13,677 --> 00:34:14,838 Oh. 511 00:35:14,029 --> 00:35:14,940 Oh. 512 00:35:17,657 --> 00:35:18,693 Ah. 513 00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:20,149 Ah, nice shot. 514 00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:22,819 - Hey, man. How you doing? - Pretty good. How you doing? 515 00:35:22,912 --> 00:35:25,199 Pretty good. We're just shooting some hoops. 516 00:35:25,290 --> 00:35:27,282 Fucking "A." I'm John. 517 00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:30,576 - Charles-Marie. Welcome. - Nice to meet you. Thanks. 518 00:35:41,931 --> 00:35:44,218 Sexual activity is an opportunity 519 00:35:44,309 --> 00:35:46,346 to get to know yourself again. 520 00:35:46,436 --> 00:35:49,053 It's an opportunity to build confidence. 521 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:52,140 After your accident, John, your body doesn't have 522 00:35:52,233 --> 00:35:54,190 ordinary psychogenic erections anymore, 523 00:35:54,277 --> 00:35:57,065 so you have to use reflexogenic erections. 524 00:35:57,906 --> 00:35:59,738 Reflexogenic erections. 525 00:36:00,033 --> 00:36:01,149 Sounds sexy. 526 00:36:01,785 --> 00:36:05,074 So, how would I go about achieving that? 527 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,029 - Can you demonstrate? - Behave. 528 00:36:07,957 --> 00:36:10,449 Have you thought about asking that little nurse of yours 529 00:36:10,543 --> 00:36:12,580 to sit on your face some night, John? 530 00:36:13,213 --> 00:36:15,079 Hey, Lilly, may I ask you a question? 531 00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:17,506 Sure, yeah. Ask me anything. 532 00:36:18,426 --> 00:36:19,792 Can you sit on my face? 533 00:36:21,888 --> 00:36:26,349 That's a shocking yet wildly exciting idea. 534 00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:28,259 But no. I mean... 535 00:36:28,687 --> 00:36:30,178 Would that be appropriate? 536 00:36:30,271 --> 00:36:31,807 Who cares if it's appropriate? 537 00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:33,105 John. 538 00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:34,515 You're thinking about it. 539 00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:40,942 Good night. 540 00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:45,659 Did you hear that? 541 00:36:46,079 --> 00:36:46,990 You scored. 542 00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:48,696 Not quite. 543 00:36:49,374 --> 00:36:50,364 She'll be back. 544 00:36:50,834 --> 00:36:52,871 My job's to get you the erection. 545 00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:54,202 That's all I care about. 546 00:36:54,963 --> 00:36:57,000 Worse she could say is no, and if she says no, 547 00:36:57,090 --> 00:36:58,581 then you come back and ask me. 548 00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:00,374 That's a deal. 549 00:37:00,844 --> 00:37:05,555 Reflexogenic simply means that it has to be from the touch, okay? 550 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:06,756 If she sits there... 551 00:37:07,934 --> 00:37:13,555 ...the touch will stimulate blood flow to here, hence causing an erection. 552 00:37:14,274 --> 00:37:15,230 Okay? 553 00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:20,815 - Really? - But you can't just think about it. 554 00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:22,897 You can't just imagine it anymore. 555 00:37:32,667 --> 00:37:33,874 - Are you feeling me? - Yeah. 556 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:35,622 That's where my dick used to be. 557 00:37:41,718 --> 00:37:44,005 Pull it. I'm trying to get further and further. 558 00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:46,302 And down. 559 00:37:46,389 --> 00:37:47,470 Can you do it? 560 00:37:48,767 --> 00:37:51,100 Annu, sometimes I just want to drink. 561 00:37:52,061 --> 00:37:55,771 You know, it doesn't seem fair that we can't have a drink. 562 00:37:56,441 --> 00:37:59,775 But, you know, we can go to Tiny's Tavern on the weekends 563 00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:01,773 and drink as much as we want. 564 00:38:02,238 --> 00:38:05,231 Might give it to us for free, you know, 'cause they feel bad for us. 565 00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:06,281 You know, we milk it. 566 00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:12,078 Oh, you're not gonna believe what happened the other night. 567 00:38:12,165 --> 00:38:15,203 So, we're coming back from Tiny's Tavern, 568 00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:19,537 me and Charles-Marie, and we're crossing the railroad tracks on our way back here. 569 00:38:21,216 --> 00:38:24,129 And Charles-Marie's chair got stuck in the railroad tracks. 570 00:38:25,595 --> 00:38:26,927 Shit! 571 00:38:29,641 --> 00:38:32,884 And he said, "Let me die. 572 00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:35,556 Let me die. It's better this way." 573 00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:37,934 Just let me die! It's better this way! 574 00:38:38,024 --> 00:38:40,357 Grab on to my chair. Grab on to my chair! 575 00:38:43,029 --> 00:38:45,271 And you know what's funny? 576 00:38:45,782 --> 00:38:47,774 He meant it. 577 00:38:48,701 --> 00:38:52,615 I think, in that moment, he really wanted to die. 578 00:38:52,705 --> 00:38:54,492 That's not very funny, John. 579 00:38:54,916 --> 00:38:56,157 That sounds dangerous. 580 00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:01,875 All in a day of being a quad. 581 00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:15,642 Hello. 582 00:39:15,728 --> 00:39:17,435 Hey, uh, is this Donnie? 583 00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:18,353 Yeah, who's this? 584 00:39:18,439 --> 00:39:20,226 Hey, Donnie, this is John Callahan. 585 00:39:20,316 --> 00:39:23,275 I'm the neon cripple from outer space. 586 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,193 Oh, the man with the tangerine hair? 587 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,114 Well, I always thought of my hair as electric orange, 588 00:39:28,825 --> 00:39:31,158 but, yeah, that's me. Uh... 589 00:39:31,244 --> 00:39:33,577 Look, I got your number off the board. 590 00:39:33,663 --> 00:39:35,074 I'm calling because 591 00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:38,286 I need a sponsor. 592 00:39:38,751 --> 00:39:40,993 I do have a lot of piglets at the moment. 593 00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:43,500 What are piglets? I need a sponsor. 594 00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:45,206 My sponsees are piglets. 595 00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:47,833 That's funny. 596 00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:50,169 - Wow. - You want me to help you get sober. 597 00:39:50,263 --> 00:39:52,801 Well, I saw you speak, and, uh, 598 00:39:53,349 --> 00:39:55,215 I really like what you had to say 599 00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:57,097 about the two pairs of pants and the woman's... 600 00:39:57,186 --> 00:39:59,269 See, John, I know. I just... 601 00:39:59,355 --> 00:40:00,721 And I don't know if you're serious. 602 00:40:00,815 --> 00:40:01,896 Oh, Jesus Christ. 603 00:40:01,983 --> 00:40:03,224 Oh, I call him Chucky. 604 00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:04,229 What? 605 00:40:04,819 --> 00:40:06,731 I don't know, John Callahan. I don't... 606 00:40:06,821 --> 00:40:08,483 I'm serious. I am serious. 607 00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:10,656 I... You know, sometimes I just, I make jokes 608 00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:14,986 'cause I get nervous, but I'm, I need, I need something. 609 00:40:15,079 --> 00:40:16,741 You know... 610 00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:21,451 every day, like clockwork at 4:00 p.m., 611 00:40:21,544 --> 00:40:24,082 I get massively depressed. 612 00:40:24,172 --> 00:40:25,913 Well, I'm depressed from the moment I wake up, 613 00:40:26,007 --> 00:40:28,545 - so got you there. - Listen. 614 00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:31,969 We're having a group talk, my place on Saturday. 615 00:40:32,055 --> 00:40:33,091 Why don't you drop by? 616 00:40:33,181 --> 00:40:35,298 Ooh, a talk? 617 00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:36,552 We'll talk about Chucky. 618 00:40:36,643 --> 00:40:39,807 The other piglets are coming by at 1:00. 4014 Northwest Johnson. 619 00:40:39,896 --> 00:40:41,478 - Don't be late. - Tim. 620 00:40:41,564 --> 00:40:43,305 4014 Northwest Johnson. 621 00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:45,061 - 1:00 p.m. - Are you talking to me? 622 00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:47,442 - All right, thank you. I'll see you then. - Okay. 623 00:40:47,528 --> 00:40:49,394 Drink water. Bye. 624 00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:54,278 40... Wait, what was it? 625 00:40:54,369 --> 00:40:56,782 - 4014 Southwest Johnson. - Okay. 626 00:40:56,871 --> 00:40:59,409 Let's go. 627 00:40:59,499 --> 00:41:01,991 Hey, Sam, get back and clean up this mess. 628 00:41:02,085 --> 00:41:04,168 And get out of here and go grab some PT. 629 00:41:04,504 --> 00:41:05,915 You grab some PT. 630 00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:07,666 - Hi. - Oh. 631 00:41:07,757 --> 00:41:09,089 - Oh, hi. - Oh, sorry. 632 00:41:09,175 --> 00:41:10,040 - That's okay. - Hi. 633 00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:11,375 Hi. I'm Debbie. 634 00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,210 - Hi, I'm John. - Hi, what's up? 635 00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:16,138 Um, I'm gonna go out to the park. Do you want to come with me? 636 00:41:16,224 --> 00:41:17,089 Uh... 637 00:41:17,183 --> 00:41:19,220 fuck, today is Monday... 638 00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:21,552 - Fuck yeah. - Yes? 639 00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:23,603 - Oh, yeah. - Thank you. Good, let's go. 640 00:41:23,690 --> 00:41:24,601 Okay. 641 00:41:30,905 --> 00:41:33,192 # We're gonna have a funky, good time... # 642 00:41:33,282 --> 00:41:34,489 You're good. You did it. 643 00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:37,780 Not bad. 644 00:41:37,870 --> 00:41:40,738 # We're gonna have a funky, good time # 645 00:41:41,833 --> 00:41:44,166 # We're gonna have a funky, good time # 646 00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:45,413 # Take 'em up # 647 00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:46,664 # We gotta take you # 648 00:41:46,754 --> 00:41:51,044 # Higher # 649 00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,885 # We gotta take you higher... # 650 00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,350 # We're gonna have a funky, good time... # 651 00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:04,474 Got it. Yeah. 652 00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:06,681 # We're gonna have a funky, good time... # 653 00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:08,481 You got it. You got it. 654 00:42:08,568 --> 00:42:10,855 - Hey, you're a good dancer. - Oh, well... 655 00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:11,901 # Play it, Georgia # 656 00:42:11,988 --> 00:42:14,105 # We're gonna have a funky, good time # 657 00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:15,530 # Take 'em up # 658 00:42:15,616 --> 00:42:20,736 # We gotta take you higher # 659 00:42:23,207 --> 00:42:28,419 # We gotta take you higher # 660 00:42:35,178 --> 00:42:36,043 Hello. 661 00:42:36,137 --> 00:42:37,423 Hey, is Donnie here? 662 00:42:37,513 --> 00:42:39,129 - Yeah, he is. - Oh. 663 00:42:39,223 --> 00:42:41,089 - Hi, I'm John. - Hi, John. 664 00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:43,471 - I'm so sorry we're late. - How you doing? 665 00:42:44,604 --> 00:42:45,936 John, welcome to the group. 666 00:42:46,022 --> 00:42:47,638 Hi. Thanks. Sorry we're late. 667 00:42:47,732 --> 00:42:49,974 - Oh... - Tim thought it was Southwest. 668 00:42:50,068 --> 00:42:51,479 - Why'd you think Southwest? - It's okay. 669 00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:53,276 Yeah, Southwest, but we got here, didn't we? 670 00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:55,688 This is Reba, who I think you've met. 671 00:42:55,782 --> 00:42:58,946 - Hello. - Martingale, Corky, Hans, Mike. 672 00:42:59,035 --> 00:42:59,866 - Hi. - Hello. 673 00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:00,863 Welcome. 674 00:43:01,287 --> 00:43:02,198 That's Tim. 675 00:43:03,122 --> 00:43:04,579 - Welcome, Tim. - Tim. 676 00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:05,997 - Hi, Tim. - Hello, Tim. 677 00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:08,408 And now that we're getting all acquainted, 678 00:43:09,504 --> 00:43:11,962 how was everyone's week? Anybody want to speak? 679 00:43:12,048 --> 00:43:13,584 Um, I have something to talk about. 680 00:43:13,674 --> 00:43:15,791 Oh, John, just so you know, since you're new here, 681 00:43:16,219 --> 00:43:17,050 I'm a poet. 682 00:43:17,136 --> 00:43:18,126 A street poet. 683 00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:20,004 And a gay activist. 684 00:43:21,557 --> 00:43:23,594 So, I was at the Pendleton Round-Up, 685 00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:26,848 and I took the opportunity to read one of my poems, 686 00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:30,477 which has in it a number of references to young cocks. 687 00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:32,190 This is it. 688 00:43:33,194 --> 00:43:34,105 "Hot... 689 00:43:35,029 --> 00:43:36,361 in the summer sun. 690 00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:40,775 Working all day, hustling hay. 691 00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:43,610 It's getting harder 692 00:43:44,122 --> 00:43:45,738 and harder 693 00:43:45,832 --> 00:43:47,698 and harder... 694 00:43:48,209 --> 00:43:51,293 ready to pop out of their button fly. 695 00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:52,957 Pop! 696 00:43:53,548 --> 00:43:54,584 Pop!" 697 00:43:54,674 --> 00:43:56,461 We got it. Pop! 698 00:43:56,551 --> 00:44:00,636 - Pop! It's all about penises, please. - Oh, stop. 699 00:44:00,721 --> 00:44:05,182 And just like that, some cowboy stops me and says my poem is X-rated. 700 00:44:05,268 --> 00:44:06,509 And you don't think it was? 701 00:44:07,812 --> 00:44:09,428 No. It wasn't. 702 00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:11,597 It was a red-blooded, American poem. 703 00:44:11,691 --> 00:44:12,807 All right. 704 00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:15,517 So, the cowboy tells me to stop, and I say to him, 705 00:44:15,611 --> 00:44:20,447 "I'm an American reading an American poem about an American institution." 706 00:44:21,325 --> 00:44:22,486 He didn't like that. 707 00:44:22,827 --> 00:44:24,989 He accused me of being drunk. 708 00:44:25,079 --> 00:44:28,368 I say to him, "I've been sober now for three years. 709 00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:30,495 I'm a proud member of AA." 710 00:44:31,169 --> 00:44:32,159 And I walked off. 711 00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:35,541 Anyone want to respond to Martingale's story? 712 00:44:36,257 --> 00:44:38,874 Well, the poems make straight guys angry. 713 00:44:38,968 --> 00:44:41,130 - I'm not angry, Hans. - See? 714 00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:45,681 But here's the thing: that kind of anger can get in the way of your recovery. 715 00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:49,430 I think we can all agree that being out there 716 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,058 and having a good time, not drinking, we get it... 717 00:44:52,899 --> 00:44:54,015 feels really good. 718 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,485 But it's one thing to read your poems in front of people that you know 719 00:44:58,571 --> 00:45:00,608 in your Greek cafes late at night, 720 00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:03,611 but it's another to read it in front of rednecks at a rodeo. 721 00:45:03,701 --> 00:45:04,691 It's a little bit dangerous. 722 00:45:04,785 --> 00:45:06,902 - I think he was really brave. - Mm. 723 00:45:06,996 --> 00:45:08,203 - Yeah, I do, too, Martingale. - Yeah. 724 00:45:08,289 --> 00:45:09,575 - I mean, I... - Fuck the rednecks, right? 725 00:45:09,665 --> 00:45:11,531 - That's right. - Hey. I'm a mullet-haired redneck, 726 00:45:11,626 --> 00:45:12,867 and you know I'll kick your ass. 727 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:14,292 You know I can kick your ass. 728 00:45:14,378 --> 00:45:15,994 - John, any comments? - What? 729 00:45:16,088 --> 00:45:17,044 John. 730 00:45:19,258 --> 00:45:22,092 What I want to know is, with all the poems that you have, 731 00:45:22,178 --> 00:45:23,635 they can't all be about penises. 732 00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:26,054 I mean, you probably got some pretty ones, I'm sure. 733 00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:27,551 Well, what I believe 734 00:45:27,642 --> 00:45:31,181 is we all have led, in our non-sober periods, 735 00:45:31,270 --> 00:45:33,262 somewhat chaotic lives. 736 00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:36,394 And I think there's a very fine line 737 00:45:36,484 --> 00:45:40,273 between creating chaos because of the adventure 738 00:45:40,363 --> 00:45:43,982 and creating chaos because of the dependency on it. 739 00:45:45,451 --> 00:45:49,570 Now, John isn't speaking very much, so perhaps he thinks he's better than us. 740 00:45:50,039 --> 00:45:51,905 So, John, do you want to tell us about your drinking? 741 00:45:54,252 --> 00:45:55,959 Oh. 742 00:45:57,046 --> 00:45:59,003 Is this... Do I say, "John, I'm an alcoholic"? 743 00:45:59,090 --> 00:46:01,173 Just tell us about your drinking. 744 00:46:04,136 --> 00:46:05,217 Um... 745 00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:08,296 Well, I, um, 746 00:46:08,391 --> 00:46:11,930 I started drinking when I was, uh, 13. 747 00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:14,970 Um... 748 00:46:16,107 --> 00:46:20,477 I stole a bottle of gin from my Aunt Diane. 749 00:46:21,570 --> 00:46:24,358 And, um, I liked it. 750 00:46:25,241 --> 00:46:26,197 A lot. 751 00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:28,650 And I never stopped. 752 00:46:30,288 --> 00:46:31,199 Okay. 753 00:46:31,831 --> 00:46:33,538 Um, yeah... 754 00:46:35,459 --> 00:46:36,575 Keep going. 755 00:46:37,586 --> 00:46:40,454 I mean, I kept drinking, I guess, 756 00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:45,797 maybe because I was adopted. I was adopted. 757 00:46:46,178 --> 00:46:47,294 And, um, 758 00:46:48,556 --> 00:46:52,266 maybe it made me not care as much about that. 759 00:46:53,561 --> 00:46:54,472 Or... 760 00:46:55,396 --> 00:46:56,307 Yeah. 761 00:46:57,064 --> 00:46:58,555 I don't, I don't really know. 762 00:47:00,067 --> 00:47:01,979 - Yeah... - Corky drank 'cause her name is Corky. 763 00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:07,355 I drank 'cause my shoes were too tight. 764 00:47:07,450 --> 00:47:09,658 You know, 765 00:47:09,744 --> 00:47:11,576 I'm glad you find this amusing. 766 00:47:11,871 --> 00:47:15,080 John, what we're trying to point out is that we all have excuses. 767 00:47:15,708 --> 00:47:20,169 I resent you characterizing such a painful part of my childhood, 768 00:47:20,546 --> 00:47:22,788 such as being an orphan, as an excuse. 769 00:47:24,508 --> 00:47:28,843 I mean, it is a fact, among others. 770 00:47:28,929 --> 00:47:32,422 Like, for instance, I can't move one fucking muscle below my chest. 771 00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:34,633 Would that qualify as an excuse? 772 00:47:34,727 --> 00:47:37,970 - What are you laughing at? - We were waiting for that. 773 00:47:38,064 --> 00:47:40,056 We just knew you were gonna say that, that's all. 774 00:47:40,149 --> 00:47:41,890 - You fucking cow! - Oh. 775 00:47:41,984 --> 00:47:44,852 You wouldn't know pain if it crawled up your fucking ass and devoured you! 776 00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:46,186 How dare you! 777 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,488 I'm sorry. Well... 778 00:47:49,909 --> 00:47:53,619 As a matter of fact, I have cancer of the heart. 779 00:47:56,999 --> 00:48:00,788 And just let me tell you something about your "poor me"s, okay? 780 00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:04,667 You keep it up, "poor me, poor me," and you're gonna find yourself saying, 781 00:48:04,757 --> 00:48:06,498 - "Pour me another drink." - Mm. 782 00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:08,462 And for the record, 783 00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:12,971 when I first came here, I was a fat, worthless cow. 784 00:48:13,057 --> 00:48:14,514 But I worked these 12 steps, 785 00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,808 and I carved out a little bit of a life for myself. 786 00:48:17,353 --> 00:48:18,719 I'm sorry, Reba. 787 00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:22,059 I'm sorry, everybody. 788 00:48:22,149 --> 00:48:23,890 - It's okay. - It's expected. 789 00:48:23,984 --> 00:48:27,022 It's okay, John. 790 00:48:27,113 --> 00:48:29,150 You're right on schedule, sweetheart. 791 00:48:30,282 --> 00:48:32,399 And I'm glad you're here. I want to tell you that. 792 00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:34,443 - Thank you. - I'm glad you're here. 793 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,201 I like you guys. 794 00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:45,746 You're fucking crazy. 795 00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:51,505 We like you, too, man. 796 00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:53,461 Well, wait till you get to know me. 797 00:49:39,226 --> 00:49:40,137 Hey, bro. 798 00:49:41,103 --> 00:49:42,435 Shot of that wine? 799 00:49:43,439 --> 00:49:46,352 Goddamn it, I haven't even had my first fucking drink. 800 00:49:46,442 --> 00:49:48,650 There's one in my right shirt pocket here. 801 00:49:48,736 --> 00:49:50,978 The jacket here. Go get it. It's another quart. 802 00:50:04,585 --> 00:50:06,542 Okay, great. Thanks, now. 803 00:50:07,963 --> 00:50:09,625 Mr. Katz will see you. 804 00:50:10,216 --> 00:50:11,206 Oh, thank you. 805 00:50:20,518 --> 00:50:21,884 Afternoon. 806 00:50:21,977 --> 00:50:22,967 Good afternoon. 807 00:50:23,771 --> 00:50:25,512 Thanks so much for taking the time to see me. 808 00:50:25,606 --> 00:50:26,596 Not at all. 809 00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:29,937 - What can I do for you? - My name is John Callahan. 810 00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:33,111 I was born in 1950 at the old Saint Vincent's Hospital. 811 00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:35,776 I know three things about my real mother: 812 00:50:36,283 --> 00:50:39,196 she was Irish-American, she had red hair, 813 00:50:39,286 --> 00:50:40,743 - she was a school teacher. - Mm-hmm. 814 00:50:40,829 --> 00:50:42,991 Oh, yeah. And she didn't want me. 815 00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:45,073 So, four things. 816 00:50:45,709 --> 00:50:47,826 Anyway, I was hoping you could help me find her. 817 00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:52,506 I made this sketch of what I think she might look like. 818 00:50:53,175 --> 00:50:54,382 Maybe it'll help you out. 819 00:50:59,598 --> 00:51:00,509 It's very nice. 820 00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:01,881 Callahan. 821 00:51:01,976 --> 00:51:03,012 Yeah, John. 822 00:51:03,644 --> 00:51:05,010 Old Saint Vincent's Hospital. 823 00:51:06,355 --> 00:51:08,517 Well... let's see. 824 00:51:17,283 --> 00:51:18,490 That's really my file? 825 00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:20,033 All right. This is the one. 826 00:51:20,119 --> 00:51:21,200 That's it? Let me look at it. 827 00:51:21,620 --> 00:51:22,952 How about we go back over there? 828 00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:26,702 All right. 829 00:51:34,842 --> 00:51:36,003 What's it say? 830 00:51:37,386 --> 00:51:38,342 Uh... 831 00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:41,303 Well, Mr. Callahan, there's little I can do. 832 00:51:42,308 --> 00:51:44,220 Wait. No, you saw something. 833 00:51:44,310 --> 00:51:46,017 - Mr. Callahan. Mr. Callahan. - What's in there? What'd you... 834 00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:47,514 The State of Oregon has a law. 835 00:51:47,605 --> 00:51:49,346 Forget the State of Oregon, man. Come on. 836 00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:50,931 Mr. Callahan, I could lose my job. 837 00:51:51,025 --> 00:51:53,358 - There's just nothing I can do. - Wait, what does that say? 838 00:51:53,777 --> 00:51:55,985 Is that... is that "Maggie Lynch"? 839 00:51:56,071 --> 00:51:57,437 - I can't say, Mr. Callahan. - Is that her name? 840 00:51:57,531 --> 00:51:58,863 - Maggie Lynch? - Mr. Callahan, I can't say. 841 00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:00,861 What do you mean you can't say? It's written down right there. 842 00:52:00,951 --> 00:52:02,533 I just saw it. Is that her name, Maggie Lynch? 843 00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:05,078 Mr. Callahan, I am not gonna lose my job. 844 00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:06,325 Screw your job, man. 845 00:52:06,415 --> 00:52:09,533 You've probably been sitting behind this desk for 25 fucking years. 846 00:52:09,627 --> 00:52:10,913 - Get out. - You have a miserable life. 847 00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:11,834 - Be a man! - Get out. 848 00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:13,627 Aw, go fuck yourself. 849 00:52:30,606 --> 00:52:32,973 Maybe it's your battery or a connection or something. 850 00:52:34,610 --> 00:52:35,521 There you are. 851 00:52:36,528 --> 00:52:38,315 - Could you spare a quarter? - Yeah. 852 00:52:38,405 --> 00:52:41,273 Two-three-four... 853 00:52:41,367 --> 00:52:42,903 Two-four-five-nine. 854 00:52:44,870 --> 00:52:45,781 Here you go. 855 00:52:46,747 --> 00:52:47,954 Thank you, sir. 856 00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:48,951 You bet. 857 00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:51,241 Disability Resource Center. 858 00:52:51,335 --> 00:52:52,701 Hey, it's John. 859 00:52:53,045 --> 00:52:54,081 Just a moment. 860 00:52:55,547 --> 00:52:56,583 This is Suzanne. 861 00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:59,499 Hey, Suzanne. It's John. 862 00:53:00,928 --> 00:53:03,841 My chair broke down. Could somebody come down here to help me? 863 00:53:03,931 --> 00:53:04,762 John? 864 00:53:04,848 --> 00:53:08,216 John, this is the third time in a couple of months this has happened. 865 00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:11,348 You know, we have cutbacks ever since the new president came in. 866 00:53:11,438 --> 00:53:13,521 - We have our own problems. - Oh, please don't start. 867 00:53:14,274 --> 00:53:16,231 Please don't start. Suzanne... 868 00:53:16,318 --> 00:53:18,605 John, I'm sorry, I do not make the rules. 869 00:53:19,446 --> 00:53:21,062 What did I do to you? 870 00:53:21,156 --> 00:53:23,148 What did I do to piss you off so much? 871 00:53:23,242 --> 00:53:24,608 - Why you gotta treat me like this? - You know, 872 00:53:24,702 --> 00:53:26,989 I hear you're putting a lot more mileage on that wheelchair 873 00:53:27,079 --> 00:53:28,115 than the average quadriplegic. 874 00:53:28,205 --> 00:53:32,700 Yeah, because I'm an active worker! I'm not a fucking nursing home vegetable! 875 00:53:32,793 --> 00:53:35,331 So I'm just asking for a little bit of goddamn help! 876 00:53:35,754 --> 00:53:36,710 - Take care, John. - Suzanne, 877 00:53:36,797 --> 00:53:38,959 please, please, I fucking beg you. 878 00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:41,462 - I ask for forgiveness! - Take care of yourself, please. 879 00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:42,668 Please, please! 880 00:53:54,064 --> 00:53:58,604 One of the objectives of group is to provoke a new awareness to unwanted 881 00:53:58,694 --> 00:54:02,563 or unnecessary emotional problems that we sit with. 882 00:54:03,407 --> 00:54:07,117 And left unprovoked, we sit alone with these problems, 883 00:54:07,202 --> 00:54:08,738 and they can fester into... 884 00:54:09,371 --> 00:54:12,614 drinking habits, drug habits, gambling. 885 00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:14,494 Other bad habits. 886 00:54:15,210 --> 00:54:16,951 What are "other bad habits"? 887 00:54:17,546 --> 00:54:19,003 I mean, it could be anything. 888 00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:22,708 It could be hoarding, bank robbing, suicide. 889 00:54:22,801 --> 00:54:24,133 It happens, amiga. 890 00:54:24,219 --> 00:54:25,300 Mike. 891 00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:27,924 Why don't you tell us your story. 892 00:54:28,724 --> 00:54:30,590 Talk about your employment; start from the beginning. 893 00:54:30,684 --> 00:54:31,765 What was the name of the company? 894 00:54:32,060 --> 00:54:33,050 Uh... 895 00:54:33,812 --> 00:54:36,680 Burnside Exploratory Systems Technology. 896 00:54:36,774 --> 00:54:38,310 And we called it BEST for short. 897 00:54:38,776 --> 00:54:40,358 I, uh... 898 00:54:40,861 --> 00:54:43,194 had an administrator there I didn't care for very much. 899 00:54:44,656 --> 00:54:46,272 Wants a war going on, and she didn't care 900 00:54:46,366 --> 00:54:48,278 whether we were winning or losing when I worked there, 901 00:54:48,368 --> 00:54:49,904 and we were handed a lot of bullshit. 902 00:54:49,995 --> 00:54:51,406 Slow down, Mike. Y-You... 903 00:54:51,497 --> 00:54:53,955 - "She," meaning your administrator? - Yeah. 904 00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:56,165 Yeah, and she... 905 00:54:57,377 --> 00:55:00,495 would just keep to herself up in her cubicle. 906 00:55:01,173 --> 00:55:03,790 Then we'd hear her prerecorded voice come over the loudspeaker. 907 00:55:04,843 --> 00:55:07,802 Can you tell us a little bit about this administrator? 908 00:55:07,888 --> 00:55:08,719 Yeah. 909 00:55:08,806 --> 00:55:12,516 Yeah, well, first the sentry in our, uh, attack unit was... 910 00:55:13,018 --> 00:55:14,384 Uh, fuck. 911 00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:17,603 I'm sorry, Donnie, can we, uh... 912 00:55:17,689 --> 00:55:19,146 can we talk about something else? 913 00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:20,598 No. 914 00:55:20,692 --> 00:55:22,149 How did she make you feel? 915 00:55:22,694 --> 00:55:23,935 Well, we were like family. 916 00:55:24,029 --> 00:55:26,191 You know, you spend enough time with your family, you... 917 00:55:27,574 --> 00:55:29,816 end up wanting to strangle your mom, you know? 918 00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:31,485 May I ask something? 919 00:55:31,578 --> 00:55:32,568 Go ahead, Corky. 920 00:55:32,663 --> 00:55:34,905 Were there any women in your operation? 921 00:55:35,958 --> 00:55:36,869 Yeah. 922 00:55:37,459 --> 00:55:39,451 The administrator, but we never saw her. 923 00:55:40,879 --> 00:55:44,498 I'm curious why there's a lack of women in your stories. 924 00:55:44,967 --> 00:55:47,801 In your childhood, growing up, 925 00:55:48,428 --> 00:55:49,635 in your company. 926 00:55:50,889 --> 00:55:53,848 There must have been women in your command unit. 927 00:55:57,688 --> 00:55:59,224 Because women can't handle it over there! 928 00:55:59,314 --> 00:56:01,021 - Hey! Hey! - Okay? Let me tell you, 929 00:56:01,108 --> 00:56:02,440 - neither of you would've - Hey! 930 00:56:02,526 --> 00:56:04,358 - lasted two fucking seconds over there! - Hey! 931 00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:07,733 - Mike, hey! Hey. - Mike. Mike. 932 00:56:07,823 --> 00:56:08,984 - This is group. - Yeah. 933 00:56:09,074 --> 00:56:12,567 Martingale, sit down. Mike, sit down, or you'll be thrown out of the group. 934 00:56:15,122 --> 00:56:16,033 I'm sorry. 935 00:56:16,665 --> 00:56:18,748 - You all take this so seriously. - I'm sorry, Donnie. 936 00:56:18,834 --> 00:56:21,292 If you just went down to Saint Luke's Church on Sunday services, 937 00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:24,837 I'm pretty sure you'd be able to find the salvation that you're looking for. 938 00:56:24,923 --> 00:56:27,506 Tim, you are very fucking cute. 939 00:56:27,593 --> 00:56:30,427 Now shut the fuck up, 'cause no one asked you, okay? 940 00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:32,966 Everyone, breathe. 941 00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:35,048 Mike, you okay? 942 00:56:36,852 --> 00:56:40,352 Tim, you think you can pull my pants down so I don't have to speak through my fucking fly? 943 00:56:46,737 --> 00:56:47,853 There you go, buddy. 944 00:56:54,202 --> 00:56:56,068 Hey, you forgot to open the bottle! 945 00:56:56,163 --> 00:56:57,779 Tim! 946 00:56:57,873 --> 00:56:59,489 Don't lock the door! Tim! 947 00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:13,003 Oh, fuck. 948 00:57:15,599 --> 00:57:17,261 Bet you could open this bottle, Snickers. 949 00:57:17,351 --> 00:57:18,842 Fuck. 950 00:57:20,354 --> 00:57:22,061 No! 951 00:57:25,233 --> 00:57:26,144 Oh, fuck. 952 00:57:47,130 --> 00:57:49,338 Fuck. Fuck. 953 00:57:53,637 --> 00:57:55,674 Fuck! 954 00:58:23,291 --> 00:58:24,532 Oh. 955 00:58:30,215 --> 00:58:32,377 Oh, God, you son of a bitch. 956 00:59:19,014 --> 00:59:21,597 Please, please, please... 957 01:00:09,773 --> 01:00:10,980 Snickers! 958 01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:29,241 Mom. 959 01:00:36,133 --> 01:00:37,419 Where are you? 960 01:00:40,095 --> 01:00:41,506 You fucker. 961 01:00:42,264 --> 01:00:43,596 You tart. 962 01:00:48,270 --> 01:00:50,136 You left me here. 963 01:00:53,066 --> 01:00:54,523 I'm a cripple. 964 01:00:58,155 --> 01:01:00,522 Where are you? 965 01:01:19,509 --> 01:01:21,717 You are a good person, John. 966 01:01:25,098 --> 01:01:26,589 You can help yourself. 967 01:01:27,893 --> 01:01:29,725 You can stop drinking, 968 01:01:29,811 --> 01:01:33,475 and you can become happy and healthy. 969 01:01:34,316 --> 01:01:35,898 I know you're calling for me. 970 01:01:37,194 --> 01:01:38,275 I love you. 971 01:01:42,866 --> 01:01:44,823 Just please don't call me a tart. 972 01:01:57,422 --> 01:01:58,412 Hi, Tim. 973 01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:01,624 Something... 974 01:02:02,636 --> 01:02:05,504 really profound just happened to me, man. 975 01:02:07,641 --> 01:02:08,802 Yeah, that's, uh... 976 01:02:10,185 --> 01:02:11,096 that's great. 977 01:02:11,561 --> 01:02:13,348 I don't think I'm gonna drink anymore. 978 01:02:13,772 --> 01:02:15,354 You mind if I have some of these cookies? 979 01:02:19,194 --> 01:02:20,105 Can I? 980 01:02:20,445 --> 01:02:21,356 Yeah, man. 981 01:02:21,446 --> 01:02:22,937 - Knock yourself out. - Thank you. 982 01:02:23,448 --> 01:02:25,155 What the fuck happened in here? It's a wreck. 983 01:02:25,700 --> 01:02:26,611 What... where's Snickers? 984 01:02:26,701 --> 01:02:29,489 I mean, there's really no reason why you should believe me. 985 01:02:33,375 --> 01:02:35,037 Donnie, why do you call them piglets? 986 01:02:35,418 --> 01:02:37,330 'Cause I'm a triple Aries, Callahan. 987 01:02:38,630 --> 01:02:39,962 And 'cause they let me. 988 01:02:42,384 --> 01:02:43,340 See you. 989 01:02:43,426 --> 01:02:47,170 And 'cause a piglet is a small, timid animal who tries to be brave 990 01:02:47,264 --> 01:02:49,096 and occasionally conquers his fears. 991 01:02:50,016 --> 01:02:51,507 Look, there's just four things: 992 01:02:51,935 --> 01:02:54,643 Keep going to meetings. Read this book I'm giving you. 993 01:02:54,729 --> 01:02:55,560 Don't drink. 994 01:02:55,647 --> 01:02:58,105 And if you think you're gonna drink, call me first, never after. 995 01:03:41,568 --> 01:03:42,854 Last two weeks, 996 01:03:42,944 --> 01:03:46,233 we were talking about art and craft. 997 01:03:47,324 --> 01:03:50,237 All art has craft. All craft has art. 998 01:03:51,202 --> 01:03:54,695 But craft seeks full perfection. 999 01:03:55,790 --> 01:03:57,372 And art seeks full expression. 1000 01:03:58,460 --> 01:03:59,371 That's why... 1001 01:04:00,378 --> 01:04:04,213 the craftsman's job is every time always the same. 1002 01:04:04,591 --> 01:04:06,173 Repeat every time. 1003 01:04:08,636 --> 01:04:11,925 That's why we don't have two Mona Lisa. 1004 01:04:14,851 --> 01:04:16,467 And Mona Lisa, by the way, 1005 01:04:17,270 --> 01:04:19,808 one can say is a controlled accident. 1006 01:04:20,357 --> 01:04:22,770 While working through the steps of the fellowship, 1007 01:04:22,859 --> 01:04:26,523 I began to feel a huge rush of energy. 1008 01:04:27,238 --> 01:04:30,151 I suddenly realized that I had been, 1009 01:04:30,617 --> 01:04:35,408 or should have been, a cartoonist, a gagman, all along. 1010 01:05:47,402 --> 01:05:48,609 - Here you go. - Thanks. 1011 01:06:22,020 --> 01:06:25,764 I refer to my higher power as Chucky, when the word "God" doesn't suffice. 1012 01:06:26,441 --> 01:06:28,603 You know, like the character from the horror movie. 1013 01:06:29,319 --> 01:06:33,529 Not because I'm terrified of my higher power. 1014 01:06:33,615 --> 01:06:38,906 It's 'cause I find my higher power is unpredictable. 1015 01:06:39,496 --> 01:06:42,580 The thing for you to grasp, my little piglets, 1016 01:06:42,665 --> 01:06:45,123 is that we don't control the universe. 1017 01:06:45,210 --> 01:06:48,544 And, in fact, it will go on in our absence. 1018 01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:50,621 We can't ask for help 1019 01:06:50,715 --> 01:06:52,923 if we don't think there's anyone out there to give it. 1020 01:06:53,009 --> 01:06:55,342 You have to grasp this concept. 1021 01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:59,005 And that doesn't have to be fucking Jesus Christ 1022 01:06:59,098 --> 01:07:01,181 or Buddha or Vanna White. 1023 01:07:01,267 --> 01:07:04,135 So, can I choose the genitalia of Raquel Welch? 1024 01:07:04,729 --> 01:07:06,937 I would advise against that, Callahan. 1025 01:07:07,023 --> 01:07:07,934 Why? 1026 01:07:08,358 --> 01:07:09,940 'Cause it's not a fucking joke. 1027 01:07:10,860 --> 01:07:15,571 If you can't look outside yourself, and you can't find a higher power, you're fucked. 1028 01:07:17,992 --> 01:07:19,073 - Yeah. - Thanks, Donnie. 1029 01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:20,241 - Of course. - See you, John. 1030 01:07:20,995 --> 01:07:22,361 - Bye, John. - Bye, Hans. 1031 01:07:23,665 --> 01:07:25,907 Beat yourself with a feather, not a bat. 1032 01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:29,455 Be outside. I'm gonna have a smoke. 1033 01:07:31,506 --> 01:07:34,465 Don't linger too long on belief. Just jump in, do the work. 1034 01:07:34,551 --> 01:07:36,417 Trust God. Clean house. 1035 01:07:37,595 --> 01:07:38,506 Take this book. 1036 01:07:39,889 --> 01:07:41,846 Lao-Tzu. Check it out. 1037 01:07:43,059 --> 01:07:45,472 There's some valuable proverbs in there. 1038 01:07:47,939 --> 01:07:48,850 Okay. 1039 01:07:50,233 --> 01:07:52,520 Um, you need any information? 1040 01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:55,068 Yeah, can you take a look at this cartoon for me? 1041 01:07:55,154 --> 01:07:56,941 - Give me your thoughts. - Yeah, let me... 1042 01:07:57,699 --> 01:07:59,361 Let's see. 1043 01:08:04,205 --> 01:08:05,036 Mm. 1044 01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:07,115 - It's pretty good. Pretty... - I can tell you don't like it. 1045 01:08:07,208 --> 01:08:08,324 Here, look at another one? 1046 01:08:11,212 --> 01:08:12,373 Let's see. 1047 01:08:21,514 --> 01:08:22,470 You like that. 1048 01:08:22,557 --> 01:08:24,014 - Yeah. - Okay. 1049 01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:25,307 That's good. 1050 01:08:25,393 --> 01:08:27,350 - Yeah, that's one of my favorites. - Yeah. 1051 01:08:27,437 --> 01:08:29,269 - Aw, thank you. - Very good. 1052 01:08:30,523 --> 01:08:32,014 Hey. Annu? 1053 01:08:34,611 --> 01:08:36,147 - John? - Is that you? 1054 01:08:39,365 --> 01:08:40,981 Look at you. 1055 01:08:41,075 --> 01:08:42,987 You're looking very handsome. 1056 01:08:43,077 --> 01:08:44,158 Oh. 1057 01:08:44,245 --> 01:08:46,032 How have you been? 1058 01:08:46,623 --> 01:08:47,955 Good. I mean... 1059 01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:49,532 God, you look beautiful. 1060 01:08:49,626 --> 01:08:50,867 What-what is this? 1061 01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,623 Oh, I have a new job now. I work for Air Scandinavia. 1062 01:08:53,713 --> 01:08:56,205 Wow, "Air Scandi-nah-via." 1063 01:08:57,008 --> 01:08:57,919 Really something. 1064 01:08:58,009 --> 01:08:59,295 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1065 01:08:59,385 --> 01:09:01,593 I was promoted. I'm group captain now. 1066 01:09:01,679 --> 01:09:03,170 - Group captain. - Mm. 1067 01:09:03,514 --> 01:09:06,006 Wow, yeah, so you're just up in, uh, first class 1068 01:09:06,100 --> 01:09:08,057 - with all the hot businessmen? - Yeah. 1069 01:09:08,144 --> 01:09:09,601 - Yeah. - But I don't really like them. 1070 01:09:09,687 --> 01:09:12,805 Are... are you... are you flying out? Are you in town for a while? 1071 01:09:12,899 --> 01:09:15,141 Do you... do you want to... get something to eat? 1072 01:09:15,234 --> 01:09:16,645 Yeah, I'm on layover. 1073 01:09:16,736 --> 01:09:18,147 - Really? - That'd be really nice. 1074 01:09:18,237 --> 01:09:20,729 Yeah, well, let's find a place to, you know... 1075 01:09:22,784 --> 01:09:23,991 "layover." 1076 01:09:25,953 --> 01:09:29,321 "Let me put it this way, don't buy any hacky sack balls." 1077 01:09:30,249 --> 01:09:31,706 That's really funny. 1078 01:09:31,793 --> 01:09:33,079 - It's you. Yeah? - Yeah. 1079 01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:34,956 Wait, are you... you... you really think it's funny? 1080 01:09:35,588 --> 01:09:36,999 - You sure? - Yeah. 1081 01:10:13,167 --> 01:10:14,829 I'm gonna, I'm gonna come. 1082 01:10:17,213 --> 01:10:18,579 I'm coming! 1083 01:10:18,673 --> 01:10:20,665 - I'm coming! - Oh, Jesus! 1084 01:10:20,758 --> 01:10:22,624 Oh! Jesus Christ! John, I'm... 1085 01:10:22,719 --> 01:10:25,427 I'm so sorry. John, I am so sorry. 1086 01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:32,593 You have to promise that Tim will walk in to serve breakfast 1087 01:10:32,687 --> 01:10:34,053 at the same time every morning. 1088 01:10:35,148 --> 01:10:35,979 Okay. 1089 01:11:27,867 --> 01:11:29,904 Donnie, I see gymnasts in the park. 1090 01:11:29,994 --> 01:11:34,409 Mm. Maybe they're preparing for the Olympics next year. 1091 01:11:34,499 --> 01:11:36,491 I'm fucking serious. 1092 01:11:36,584 --> 01:11:39,122 I've been seeing them since my physical recovery. 1093 01:11:39,212 --> 01:11:42,330 Oh, maybe they're manifestations of your sobriety, 1094 01:11:42,423 --> 01:11:44,710 if you first saw them in the emergency ward. 1095 01:11:44,801 --> 01:11:47,168 Maybe they're sticking around to get what they want. 1096 01:11:47,261 --> 01:11:49,378 Well, what the fuck do they want? 1097 01:11:50,014 --> 01:11:51,550 For you to come with them. 1098 01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:54,224 Yeah. Where to? 1099 01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:57,512 'Cause they're waving to me, you know? 1100 01:11:57,605 --> 01:11:59,642 To the big park in the sky. 1101 01:12:00,107 --> 01:12:01,973 They could be calling from the other side. 1102 01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:03,934 Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. 1103 01:12:04,904 --> 01:12:06,691 I don't want to go to the park in the sky. 1104 01:12:06,781 --> 01:12:09,524 Callahan, don't obsess over the gymnasts. 1105 01:12:10,117 --> 01:12:12,905 Go to meetings, don't drink, read the book. 1106 01:12:12,995 --> 01:12:14,827 That's all you have to focus on. 1107 01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:16,738 And you have to work on the second step. 1108 01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:19,166 Like, you have to believe that a power greater than yourself 1109 01:12:19,252 --> 01:12:20,459 can restore you to sanity. 1110 01:12:22,672 --> 01:12:26,507 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know, I know. 1111 01:12:26,592 --> 01:12:30,336 And besides, how are you gonna do gymnastics anyway, Callahan? 1112 01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:35,056 - Honestly. - Oh, that's so funny. 1113 01:12:35,142 --> 01:12:39,102 Oh, tomorrow I fly to New York City to get my boogie on. 1114 01:12:39,438 --> 01:12:42,181 Yeah, good for you, man. You deserve it. 1115 01:12:42,275 --> 01:12:43,356 Thank you. 1116 01:12:43,860 --> 01:12:45,817 So, will I be able to reach you, though? 1117 01:12:51,826 --> 01:12:52,816 You drew this? 1118 01:12:52,910 --> 01:12:54,367 Yeah. Oh, which one's that? I mean, yeah, 1119 01:12:54,453 --> 01:12:56,820 I drew 'em all, but... Oh, yeah. That's my dad. 1120 01:12:59,041 --> 01:13:00,907 This is good stuff, man. This is really great. 1121 01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:04,411 So... 1122 01:13:04,505 --> 01:13:06,622 You got it, man. We'd like to give you a panel. 1123 01:13:06,716 --> 01:13:07,627 Really? 1124 01:13:16,642 --> 01:13:18,634 Hey, Officer, take a look at this. 1125 01:13:23,774 --> 01:13:24,730 Very nice. 1126 01:13:24,817 --> 01:13:27,400 Very nice, right? Thank you. 1127 01:13:27,486 --> 01:13:29,819 - Hey. - Hey, John. How are you, hon? 1128 01:13:29,906 --> 01:13:31,363 Really good. Take a look at this. 1129 01:13:31,449 --> 01:13:32,360 What you got? 1130 01:13:34,702 --> 01:13:37,570 Oh, hon. Lisa, look-it, John's in the Vanguard. 1131 01:13:40,249 --> 01:13:41,239 Hmm. 1132 01:13:44,378 --> 01:13:46,461 - Thank you. - I like the shading. 1133 01:13:47,965 --> 01:13:48,921 Okay. 1134 01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:51,459 You want to see? Look, puppy, look at that. 1135 01:13:51,552 --> 01:13:52,588 - You drew that? - Yeah. 1136 01:13:58,100 --> 01:13:59,011 That's offensive. 1137 01:13:59,852 --> 01:14:00,842 Offensive? 1138 01:14:04,982 --> 01:14:06,814 Hey, some fellow artists. 1139 01:14:06,901 --> 01:14:08,984 Check this out. Look at this. 1140 01:14:09,070 --> 01:14:11,562 No, I'm not trying to sell you anything. I just want you to look at... 1141 01:14:12,239 --> 01:14:15,073 They published my cartoon, you fuckers! 1142 01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:21,329 # Shake it, shake it # 1143 01:14:26,587 --> 01:14:28,670 # Shake it, shake it # 1144 01:14:29,131 --> 01:14:30,542 # Groovin' loose # 1145 01:14:30,633 --> 01:14:32,499 # Or heart to heart # 1146 01:14:32,593 --> 01:14:35,586 # We put in motion every single part # 1147 01:14:36,514 --> 01:14:39,598 # Funky sounds, wall to wall # 1148 01:14:40,017 --> 01:14:43,761 # We're bumpin' booties, Having us a ball, y'all # 1149 01:14:43,854 --> 01:14:45,436 # Shake your groove thing # 1150 01:14:45,523 --> 01:14:47,515 # Shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah... # 1151 01:14:49,235 --> 01:14:51,352 Hello? 1152 01:14:51,821 --> 01:14:53,107 I just can't fucking do this. 1153 01:14:53,197 --> 01:14:55,314 I'm gonna kill Tim. I'm gonna kill my attendant. 1154 01:14:56,200 --> 01:14:58,362 You know, Callahan, you can't ask for help 1155 01:14:58,452 --> 01:15:00,614 if you don't think there's anyone out there to give it. 1156 01:15:00,705 --> 01:15:04,574 Yeah, I'm asking you for help, Donnie. That's why I'm calling you. 1157 01:15:04,667 --> 01:15:05,703 Well, tough shit. 1158 01:15:05,793 --> 01:15:08,376 Donnie's on a plane to New York City in half an hour. 1159 01:15:08,462 --> 01:15:09,998 And I'm not gonna be back till Monday. 1160 01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:13,377 There's this new gay disco there called The Saint, 1161 01:15:13,467 --> 01:15:15,424 and I'm gonna be having the time of my life 1162 01:15:15,511 --> 01:15:17,924 with Howard Rosenman and Andy Warhol, getting discovered... 1163 01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:21,098 I don't give a fuck about your sex life, Donnie. 1164 01:15:21,183 --> 01:15:22,469 Tell me what to do. 1165 01:15:23,811 --> 01:15:25,268 What are the first three steps? 1166 01:15:25,604 --> 01:15:27,061 Donnie, come on. 1167 01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:28,351 That, one? 1168 01:15:30,151 --> 01:15:33,815 One, that I'm powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable. 1169 01:15:33,904 --> 01:15:36,487 Two, I came to believe that a power greater than myself 1170 01:15:36,574 --> 01:15:37,610 can restore me to sanity. 1171 01:15:38,117 --> 01:15:40,484 And three, I made a decision to turn my will and my life 1172 01:15:40,578 --> 01:15:42,740 over to the care of God, as I understand it. 1173 01:15:42,830 --> 01:15:44,196 So you believe you're powerless? 1174 01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:46,577 Yeah. 1175 01:15:46,667 --> 01:15:49,876 You believe that a higher power other than yourself can restore you to sanity? 1176 01:15:50,171 --> 01:15:51,082 Yes. 1177 01:15:51,172 --> 01:15:52,834 And you made a decision to turn your will and life 1178 01:15:52,923 --> 01:15:55,165 over to the care of God, as you understand him, 1179 01:15:55,259 --> 01:15:57,216 in your case, Raquel Welch's snatch. 1180 01:15:57,303 --> 01:15:59,420 And remember, this is a choice of higher power I don't approve of. 1181 01:15:59,930 --> 01:16:01,296 - Yes. - Great. 1182 01:16:01,390 --> 01:16:04,098 Now, wouldn't you like to turn this immediate problem over to Chucky? 1183 01:16:04,852 --> 01:16:05,763 Yes. 1184 01:16:06,145 --> 01:16:07,602 Don't you feel better already? 1185 01:16:11,567 --> 01:16:14,560 Okay, yeah, but, Donnie, you tricked me. 1186 01:16:14,653 --> 01:16:16,110 I know what you just did. 1187 01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:18,655 No, Callahan, no. Fuck. 1188 01:16:19,283 --> 01:16:20,649 Make a God basket. 1189 01:16:20,743 --> 01:16:22,700 Write your problems on paper, crumple them up, 1190 01:16:22,787 --> 01:16:24,028 and throw them into the basket. 1191 01:16:24,580 --> 01:16:26,412 Drink water. 1192 01:16:30,086 --> 01:16:32,829 "I'm afraid. Who will protect me?" 1193 01:16:42,223 --> 01:16:44,055 Tim. Tim? 1194 01:16:45,226 --> 01:16:46,182 Hey, man. 1195 01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:49,011 Can you pick up that piece of paper and toss it in the God basket? 1196 01:16:56,529 --> 01:16:58,361 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 1197 01:16:58,447 --> 01:17:00,279 Hey, you know, this is actually pretty fun. 1198 01:17:00,741 --> 01:17:04,951 John, as the editors of the Portland State Vanguard, 1199 01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:07,996 some of us really enjoy your humor, 1200 01:17:08,082 --> 01:17:12,247 but some of us are worried that things might have gone too far. 1201 01:17:13,546 --> 01:17:16,254 We have 55 letters here from the student body 1202 01:17:16,841 --> 01:17:18,798 complaining about your cartoons. 1203 01:17:18,884 --> 01:17:22,377 "Mr. Callahan, I am appalled by your simplistic scribbling, 1204 01:17:22,471 --> 01:17:25,339 your misinformed ideas about humor, and the audacity you have..." 1205 01:17:25,432 --> 01:17:28,140 - That's real? - "to think the public enjoys your work." 1206 01:17:28,227 --> 01:17:30,059 Yes. It's from Woodburn, Oregon. 1207 01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:31,686 We have many of them. 1208 01:17:32,189 --> 01:17:33,521 All right, look, guys, 1209 01:17:33,607 --> 01:17:36,224 I know that people have come by the editorial offices 1210 01:17:36,318 --> 01:17:37,900 to register complaints about me... 1211 01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:41,822 Christians, queers, teachers, foreign nationals, janitors, lab rats 1212 01:17:41,907 --> 01:17:45,150 all find me offensive, which, uh, you know... 1213 01:17:46,078 --> 01:17:47,944 It's a good... Is it a good thing? 1214 01:17:48,038 --> 01:17:49,700 We have a small pile of threats. 1215 01:17:49,790 --> 01:17:51,952 There's one here from the Willamette Week. 1216 01:17:52,668 --> 01:17:54,250 John, this is, frankly, shocking. 1217 01:17:54,336 --> 01:17:57,795 What, the paper that Gary Larson draws cartoons for? 1218 01:17:57,882 --> 01:18:03,048 Yes. And they would like to give you your own series. 1219 01:18:03,137 --> 01:18:05,129 We think that's going too far. 1220 01:18:05,222 --> 01:18:06,087 Are you serious? 1221 01:18:06,182 --> 01:18:07,923 Uh... 1222 01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:09,098 Can we get a mop? Can we get a mop? 1223 01:18:09,185 --> 01:18:10,141 - What happened? - Oh. 1224 01:18:10,227 --> 01:18:12,014 - Grab a mop, please. - Uh... 1225 01:18:12,646 --> 01:18:13,636 Mop? 1226 01:18:13,731 --> 01:18:15,768 Wait, well, don't do it with the... 1227 01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:18,100 - Don't put the urine in the picture. - Oh, yikes. 1228 01:18:18,194 --> 01:18:20,561 They're publishing your cartoon. We're absolutely serious. 1229 01:18:20,654 --> 01:18:22,816 - I thought you guys were playing with me. - No, no. 1230 01:18:24,450 --> 01:18:25,611 In the Funny pile. 1231 01:18:27,703 --> 01:18:28,614 No. 1232 01:18:31,916 --> 01:18:33,248 Put this one for Annu. 1233 01:18:38,339 --> 01:18:39,546 That's real funny. 1234 01:18:47,473 --> 01:18:48,680 Why do you call it Chucky? 1235 01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:51,341 Why not? 1236 01:18:53,187 --> 01:18:54,974 You know, the day I stopped drinking... 1237 01:18:55,814 --> 01:18:57,601 I felt a hand on my shoulder. 1238 01:18:58,817 --> 01:19:00,774 But when I turned to look at it, there was... 1239 01:19:01,737 --> 01:19:04,400 nothing there, but I didn't imagine it. 1240 01:19:07,952 --> 01:19:09,614 "Look at it, but you cannot see it. 1241 01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:12,195 Because it is formless, you call it invisible. 1242 01:19:13,582 --> 01:19:15,790 Listen to it, but you cannot hear it. 1243 01:19:17,378 --> 01:19:19,586 Because it is soundless, you call it inaudible. 1244 01:19:20,464 --> 01:19:22,706 Grasp it, but it is out of your reach. 1245 01:19:23,050 --> 01:19:25,042 Because it is subtle, you call it intangible." 1246 01:19:26,470 --> 01:19:27,677 Uh, who's that? 1247 01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:29,420 Is that Elton John? 1248 01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:31,677 Lao-Tzu. 1249 01:19:32,977 --> 01:19:34,138 Chucky. 1250 01:19:37,231 --> 01:19:40,770 Oh, hubba, hubba, hubba. New heartthrob, Donnie? 1251 01:19:43,445 --> 01:19:44,561 Oh, no, no. 1252 01:19:44,947 --> 01:19:46,404 Pretty boy, small penis. 1253 01:19:48,450 --> 01:19:51,238 Maybe you were weakened so you could become strong, Callahan. 1254 01:19:51,328 --> 01:19:52,694 You ever think of it like that? 1255 01:19:56,166 --> 01:19:58,408 The path to enlightenment is to know yourself. 1256 01:19:59,712 --> 01:20:01,248 How do I know myself? 1257 01:20:02,881 --> 01:20:03,962 Forget yourself. 1258 01:20:10,514 --> 01:20:11,971 Oh, what'd the doctor say? 1259 01:20:12,933 --> 01:20:15,471 I was gonna tell you about when I was in India. 1260 01:20:15,561 --> 01:20:17,427 Just let me finish so I don't forget. 1261 01:20:17,980 --> 01:20:20,063 I was driving north, to Bombay. 1262 01:20:20,149 --> 01:20:22,357 I was meeting a group of teachers at the Bombay Hilton... 1263 01:20:22,443 --> 01:20:23,934 Oh, yeah, no, you told me this story already. 1264 01:20:25,154 --> 01:20:26,065 Have I? 1265 01:20:26,363 --> 01:20:28,776 Yeah. With the girl beggar. 1266 01:20:30,159 --> 01:20:31,570 I don't remember telling it. 1267 01:20:33,954 --> 01:20:34,865 Donnie. 1268 01:20:36,999 --> 01:20:38,456 What did the doctor say? 1269 01:20:46,675 --> 01:20:47,756 I'm fucked. 1270 01:20:54,975 --> 01:20:56,557 I need to drink more water. 1271 01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:21,825 Mmm. That feels good. Thank you. 1272 01:21:27,591 --> 01:21:29,753 "Dear Mr. Callahan, we regret to inform you 1273 01:21:29,843 --> 01:21:32,005 that although your cartoon shows promise, 1274 01:21:32,471 --> 01:21:35,635 it's not the caliber of work that we're used to at The New Yorker. 1275 01:21:36,266 --> 01:21:37,757 Thank you for your submission." 1276 01:21:38,644 --> 01:21:39,805 Who reads The New Yorker? 1277 01:21:44,233 --> 01:21:48,477 "Mr. Callahan, you should draw with your other hand or become a plumber." 1278 01:21:49,780 --> 01:21:50,941 "Sincerely, Robert." 1279 01:21:52,533 --> 01:21:53,865 Well, that's original. 1280 01:21:56,453 --> 01:21:57,364 Hey... 1281 01:21:59,164 --> 01:22:01,747 do you think the joke is better if I go with paramecium, 1282 01:22:01,834 --> 01:22:06,124 dogfish, chimpanzee, Neanderthal, human? 1283 01:22:06,755 --> 01:22:08,246 Or should it be... 1284 01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:13,836 paramecium, trilobite, raptor, lemur, Neanderthal, human? 1285 01:22:16,181 --> 01:22:17,092 I don't know. 1286 01:22:18,225 --> 01:22:20,137 Let's put that in the Not Ready pile. 1287 01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:39,319 Hello. John, can I come in? 1288 01:22:39,746 --> 01:22:41,703 Suzanne. 1289 01:22:41,790 --> 01:22:42,746 Hey. 1290 01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:44,699 What a lovely surprise. 1291 01:22:49,756 --> 01:22:51,338 Where'd you get the money for these posters? 1292 01:22:51,425 --> 01:22:53,007 Friends, family. 1293 01:22:53,093 --> 01:22:54,174 You got to write it down. 1294 01:22:54,553 --> 01:22:56,920 You have to report it... any gift or donation. 1295 01:22:57,014 --> 01:22:57,925 Well... 1296 01:22:58,765 --> 01:23:01,428 I bummed a cigarette down at Old Town the other day. 1297 01:23:01,518 --> 01:23:02,725 Should I report that, too? 1298 01:23:04,104 --> 01:23:07,017 Mr. Callahan, I'm sorry. I do not make the rules. 1299 01:23:07,107 --> 01:23:08,689 Simply trying to get you to understand 1300 01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:10,937 the gravity of the situation. Your cartoon earnings 1301 01:23:11,028 --> 01:23:12,815 could force your benefits to be terminated. 1302 01:23:12,905 --> 01:23:14,942 Well, h-how do I avoid that? 1303 01:23:15,032 --> 01:23:16,068 I don't know. 1304 01:23:16,158 --> 01:23:18,491 But, uh... it doesn't look good for you. 1305 01:23:19,620 --> 01:23:22,988 Uh, who do I speak to about the specific regulations on this? 1306 01:23:23,665 --> 01:23:28,126 I mean, how can I be penalized for making a little money this month? 1307 01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:33,291 Mr. Callahan, we have reason to believe you're a bit of a shady character. Okay? 1308 01:23:33,759 --> 01:23:35,921 I just don't want your benefits to be terminated. 1309 01:23:36,637 --> 01:23:39,004 Every letter starts out the same way. 1310 01:23:39,515 --> 01:23:40,972 It's always your fault. 1311 01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:44,263 You know, I... I knew, um, 1312 01:23:44,686 --> 01:23:47,178 a-a guy that was a former caseworker. 1313 01:23:47,272 --> 01:23:48,604 He's since become a buddy. 1314 01:23:49,066 --> 01:23:53,231 And he revealed to me that any assertive client 1315 01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:58,611 was written up in his file as a fucking unstable troublemaker. 1316 01:23:59,076 --> 01:24:00,783 You fucking believe that? 1317 01:24:01,161 --> 01:24:03,198 An unstable troublemaker. 1318 01:24:04,665 --> 01:24:06,998 John, this isn't the complaint department. 1319 01:24:08,085 --> 01:24:09,951 We don't want to hear about your caseworkers. 1320 01:24:11,338 --> 01:24:13,580 Tell your story, talk about yourself. 1321 01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:18,427 Well, it is my life. I rely on them for everything. 1322 01:24:18,512 --> 01:24:19,923 I don't, I don't know what you mean. 1323 01:24:20,013 --> 01:24:24,178 What I mean is that what about them makes you complain? 1324 01:24:25,018 --> 01:24:27,226 It's not about the counselor herself. 1325 01:24:27,896 --> 01:24:28,852 Keep going. 1326 01:24:32,234 --> 01:24:33,600 I mean, I can't walk. 1327 01:24:33,694 --> 01:24:34,684 Why can't you walk? 1328 01:24:35,237 --> 01:24:38,150 Because I was in an accident. 1329 01:24:38,240 --> 01:24:39,151 Because? 1330 01:24:39,908 --> 01:24:43,447 'Cause the fucking asshole, Dexter, 1331 01:24:44,121 --> 01:24:46,363 fell asleep at the fucking wheel. 1332 01:24:46,456 --> 01:24:47,446 Why'd he do that? 1333 01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:49,741 'Cause he was fucking drunk. 1334 01:24:50,085 --> 01:24:51,496 Okay, and why were you in the car? 1335 01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:56,456 'Cause we were going to the next party. 1336 01:24:56,550 --> 01:24:59,418 He was the one that was driving. I don't know why I... 1337 01:24:59,511 --> 01:25:01,252 - Okay, but why... - I couldn't drive. 1338 01:25:01,346 --> 01:25:04,680 Wait, Callahan, why did you get in the car with him if you knew he was drunk? 1339 01:25:04,766 --> 01:25:07,725 I don't know, 'cause I was a fucking kid! You don't make mistakes? 1340 01:25:07,811 --> 01:25:11,851 Why did you get in the car with him if you knew he was drunk? 1341 01:25:11,940 --> 01:25:14,933 Why would you do something like that? Would you do that right now? 1342 01:25:15,027 --> 01:25:17,735 Would you get in the car with someone who you knew was drunk? 1343 01:25:19,406 --> 01:25:20,613 Why did you do that? 1344 01:25:21,033 --> 01:25:22,399 I don't know why. 1345 01:25:22,492 --> 01:25:26,657 I... I was so fucking drunk. 1346 01:25:26,747 --> 01:25:28,830 I was so fucking drunk. 1347 01:25:28,915 --> 01:25:31,077 I was drunk since I was a fucking kid. 1348 01:25:31,710 --> 01:25:34,418 I was so embarrassing. I know, 'cause I didn't... 1349 01:25:36,882 --> 01:25:42,719 I didn't feel loved, I didn't feel wanted, so I tried to cover up my feelings. 1350 01:25:43,263 --> 01:25:44,174 And it worked. 1351 01:25:46,516 --> 01:25:48,929 I was born in 1951. 1352 01:25:50,604 --> 01:25:52,687 At the old Saint Vincent's Hospital. 1353 01:25:55,317 --> 01:25:57,809 I know three things about my real mother. 1354 01:26:00,489 --> 01:26:01,855 She was Irish-American. 1355 01:26:02,532 --> 01:26:03,693 She had red hair. 1356 01:26:04,785 --> 01:26:06,401 And she was a school teacher. 1357 01:26:09,373 --> 01:26:10,989 Oh, yeah. 1358 01:26:12,167 --> 01:26:13,578 And she didn't want me. 1359 01:26:26,682 --> 01:26:28,639 My alienation from my father... 1360 01:26:29,434 --> 01:26:31,801 I hated his guts since I was 11... 1361 01:26:32,771 --> 01:26:34,808 extended itself to my whole family. 1362 01:26:37,234 --> 01:26:39,351 One Christmas... 1363 01:26:39,444 --> 01:26:40,560 at the dinner table... 1364 01:26:41,488 --> 01:26:44,401 there was a... disturbance. 1365 01:26:45,867 --> 01:26:49,611 And Tommy, who was some five years younger than me, 1366 01:26:51,415 --> 01:26:52,451 screamed. 1367 01:26:53,208 --> 01:26:57,919 Whenever my dad punished one of my siblings... 1368 01:27:01,133 --> 01:27:02,465 instead of me, 1369 01:27:03,593 --> 01:27:05,926 it gave me a guilt-free excuse to... 1370 01:27:07,305 --> 01:27:08,466 condemn him. 1371 01:27:09,474 --> 01:27:11,761 I guess that was a big thing, you know? 1372 01:27:13,186 --> 01:27:16,099 I never felt a part of them. 1373 01:27:17,232 --> 01:27:19,315 I never felt like I was one of them. 1374 01:27:22,696 --> 01:27:26,030 I thought I'd fucking drink my way out of those feelings. 1375 01:27:26,825 --> 01:27:29,659 I became such a fuck up... 1376 01:27:32,122 --> 01:27:34,205 that I won't ever forgive them. 1377 01:27:38,044 --> 01:27:39,160 Oh, I mean that... 1378 01:27:39,504 --> 01:27:41,461 I mean, they won't ever forgive me... 1379 01:27:42,883 --> 01:27:46,297 for all the stupid shit I did. 1380 01:27:47,387 --> 01:27:48,673 What'd you just say? 1381 01:27:48,764 --> 01:27:49,971 That they won't... 1382 01:27:50,682 --> 01:27:52,765 forgive me for all the stupid shit I did. 1383 01:27:54,978 --> 01:27:57,937 That they won't forgive you or you won't forgive them? 1384 01:27:59,524 --> 01:28:01,356 That they won't forgive me. 1385 01:28:01,443 --> 01:28:03,150 You said that you won't forgive them. 1386 01:28:03,570 --> 01:28:06,688 Okay, well, w-what would I have to forgive them for... 1387 01:28:08,408 --> 01:28:09,489 forgive them for? 1388 01:28:10,327 --> 01:28:12,535 For making you feel like a black sheep. 1389 01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:15,580 For not being your real parents, for having other children. 1390 01:28:17,542 --> 01:28:19,750 Forgiving your birth mother for giving you up. 1391 01:28:24,716 --> 01:28:25,627 Think about me! 1392 01:28:26,009 --> 01:28:27,625 I won't forgive them. 1393 01:28:30,806 --> 01:28:32,297 You're right on time, John. 1394 01:28:32,891 --> 01:28:35,008 You're approaching the ninth step, 1395 01:28:35,101 --> 01:28:39,186 which is where you get to go face-to-face with these people 1396 01:28:39,272 --> 01:28:40,683 and forgive them in person. 1397 01:28:43,235 --> 01:28:44,146 That's it? 1398 01:28:47,364 --> 01:28:49,151 I mean, uh... 1399 01:28:50,200 --> 01:28:51,441 I kind of thought that my... 1400 01:28:52,619 --> 01:28:55,453 group story would end with an epiphany. 1401 01:28:55,914 --> 01:28:57,075 Like, you know, I'd... 1402 01:28:58,834 --> 01:29:01,577 break down and cry, and-and, uh... 1403 01:29:02,379 --> 01:29:03,870 be cured forever. 1404 01:29:05,966 --> 01:29:06,922 Nope. 1405 01:29:07,008 --> 01:29:10,877 No, I don't feel that different now. I don't... 1406 01:29:13,473 --> 01:29:15,339 I don't feel like I had the big moment. 1407 01:29:15,433 --> 01:29:16,719 This is the big moment. 1408 01:29:16,810 --> 01:29:20,554 There's no lightning bolt that shoots you and cures all your shit. 1409 01:29:20,856 --> 01:29:26,693 There are discoveries and epiphanies and moments of clarity. 1410 01:29:26,778 --> 01:29:28,610 But this doesn't just go away. 1411 01:29:30,782 --> 01:29:32,944 You have to wrestle with this shit every day. 1412 01:29:33,034 --> 01:29:35,117 Some of that pain will remain there forever. 1413 01:29:35,203 --> 01:29:37,115 Some of that shame will remain there forever. 1414 01:29:37,205 --> 01:29:40,414 But you have to fight with it, or you'll fucking die. 1415 01:29:44,546 --> 01:29:45,536 Thank you. 1416 01:29:51,595 --> 01:29:52,676 Mr. Levine? 1417 01:29:54,389 --> 01:29:55,880 - John? - Yeah. 1418 01:29:56,892 --> 01:29:58,099 It's been so long. 1419 01:29:58,727 --> 01:29:59,808 Uh, hey. 1420 01:29:59,895 --> 01:30:01,386 - How you been doing? - All right. 1421 01:30:01,479 --> 01:30:02,845 - You still drawing? - Yeah. 1422 01:30:02,939 --> 01:30:05,522 I remember you back in high... in high school, 1423 01:30:05,609 --> 01:30:07,145 you had problems with sketches. 1424 01:30:07,736 --> 01:30:09,147 But then you got into oil colors, 1425 01:30:09,237 --> 01:30:10,773 - and it sort of reversed on itself. - Yeah. 1426 01:30:11,072 --> 01:30:13,109 You were quite the student back then. 1427 01:30:14,159 --> 01:30:15,149 Hey, um... 1428 01:30:16,786 --> 01:30:18,573 Hey, I just want to apologize. 1429 01:30:18,663 --> 01:30:19,699 Apologize for what? 1430 01:30:20,373 --> 01:30:21,409 Well, I was... 1431 01:30:22,250 --> 01:30:24,993 I caused some troubles in class, and... 1432 01:30:25,086 --> 01:30:26,202 and you didn't deserve that. 1433 01:30:26,296 --> 01:30:28,583 And, uh, I felt bad about it, and... 1434 01:30:29,174 --> 01:30:30,540 I just want to make amends. 1435 01:30:30,634 --> 01:30:33,092 Well, that's great you should say that, John. 1436 01:30:33,178 --> 01:30:36,091 Teenagers, you know, you go through these stages, so... 1437 01:30:36,181 --> 01:30:38,764 I could see potential in you. That was the main thing. 1438 01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:41,263 I stole a shirt from this store ten years ago, 1439 01:30:42,062 --> 01:30:44,395 and I'd like to make it up to you. 1440 01:30:44,731 --> 01:30:46,814 It would really screw up our books. 1441 01:30:46,900 --> 01:30:47,981 Um... 1442 01:30:48,068 --> 01:30:52,153 Just give $5 to a charity, and that'll make it good, son. 1443 01:30:54,449 --> 01:30:55,405 Hey, John. 1444 01:31:10,757 --> 01:31:12,168 What do you want from me, John? 1445 01:31:12,759 --> 01:31:14,967 Yeah, I was just thinking, you know, 1446 01:31:15,053 --> 01:31:18,592 we've had a pretty contentious relationship, and, um... 1447 01:31:19,140 --> 01:31:21,803 Probably made you feel bad a lot. And, um... 1448 01:31:22,519 --> 01:31:26,012 I realize that it must be a really hard job, actually. 1449 01:31:26,398 --> 01:31:30,017 And, uh, I probably made it more difficult. 1450 01:31:31,444 --> 01:31:32,480 And, um... 1451 01:31:33,655 --> 01:31:35,066 and I wanted to apologize. 1452 01:31:35,991 --> 01:31:39,359 Well, uh, thanks for apologizing. I... 1453 01:31:39,786 --> 01:31:42,244 And, uh... sure. I forgive you. 1454 01:31:44,791 --> 01:31:47,909 Hey, I made this drawing for you. 1455 01:31:54,968 --> 01:31:56,504 Oh, boy. 1456 01:31:57,095 --> 01:31:59,553 Well... I don't know, maybe you can help me. 1457 01:31:59,848 --> 01:32:02,966 I'm trying to do something with Klansmen, like... 1458 01:32:03,977 --> 01:32:06,185 you know, just make them, like, more human, you know? 1459 01:32:06,271 --> 01:32:07,853 - 'Cause everyone always talks about... - Klansmen? 1460 01:32:07,939 --> 01:32:10,226 Well, no, because people always think about... 1461 01:32:11,234 --> 01:32:15,069 racists as, like, just this, like, pure evil, but they're your neighbors. 1462 01:32:15,155 --> 01:32:16,737 I don't know, I guess... 1463 01:32:17,115 --> 01:32:18,196 sheets. 1464 01:32:18,908 --> 01:32:21,992 Uh... what I like about sheets is they're sort of, 1465 01:32:22,495 --> 01:32:24,703 like, warm and fluffy when you get 'em out of the dryer. 1466 01:32:27,167 --> 01:32:29,750 Don't you love it when they're still warm from the dryer? 1467 01:32:30,587 --> 01:32:33,000 # What's the matter With the crowd I'm seeing? # 1468 01:32:33,089 --> 01:32:35,456 # Don't you know that They're out of touch? # 1469 01:32:37,719 --> 01:32:40,006 # Should I be A fucking straight-A student? # 1470 01:32:40,096 --> 01:32:42,884 # If you are then you think too much... # 1471 01:32:44,017 --> 01:32:46,054 Dexter? 1472 01:32:47,479 --> 01:32:50,847 # You can't dress trashy Till you spend a lot of money # 1473 01:32:50,940 --> 01:32:53,899 # Everybody's talking 'bout The new sound... # 1474 01:32:53,985 --> 01:32:54,896 You don't remember me? 1475 01:32:56,362 --> 01:32:57,853 How you doing? 1476 01:32:59,824 --> 01:33:02,316 # What's the matter With the car I'm driving... # 1477 01:33:03,578 --> 01:33:04,568 Man. 1478 01:33:05,747 --> 01:33:08,490 Um, you know, I'm, uh... 1479 01:33:09,584 --> 01:33:12,918 fucking living. I'm just fucking doing my thing here. 1480 01:33:13,379 --> 01:33:15,871 # Nowadays you can't be Too sentimental... # 1481 01:33:15,965 --> 01:33:16,921 How you doing? 1482 01:33:17,967 --> 01:33:18,923 I'm good. 1483 01:33:19,677 --> 01:33:20,758 I'm really good. 1484 01:33:22,263 --> 01:33:23,174 Yeah. 1485 01:33:23,973 --> 01:33:24,963 I'm sober now. 1486 01:33:25,517 --> 01:33:26,928 - No shit? - Yeah. 1487 01:33:28,520 --> 01:33:29,476 Yeah. 1488 01:33:29,562 --> 01:33:32,100 And, uh... it's good. 1489 01:33:32,190 --> 01:33:33,146 It's really good. 1490 01:33:33,900 --> 01:33:35,812 I've been doing it, too, on and off, 1491 01:33:35,902 --> 01:33:37,768 - for, like, the last seven years, but... - Is that right? 1492 01:33:37,862 --> 01:33:40,570 I'm fucking... I'm a fuck up, though, man. I don't... 1493 01:33:40,657 --> 01:33:41,693 Ah, it's okay. 1494 01:33:41,783 --> 01:33:42,899 I don't stick to it, but... 1495 01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:47,703 Buddy, I came this fucking close to reaching out to you, 1496 01:33:47,789 --> 01:33:51,282 but, uh, you know, I just chicken-shitted out. 1497 01:33:51,376 --> 01:33:53,117 I'm so fucking glad you're here. 1498 01:33:53,795 --> 01:33:56,333 Yeah. You've been on my mind, too. 1499 01:33:57,257 --> 01:34:00,125 I just didn't know what to fucking say. I was fucking... 1500 01:34:01,136 --> 01:34:02,798 I mean, there's nothing I can say. 1501 01:34:02,887 --> 01:34:04,298 There's nothing I can say. 1502 01:34:06,057 --> 01:34:08,014 You know, what I've been learning is... 1503 01:34:08,810 --> 01:34:10,176 I fucked my shit up. 1504 01:34:10,270 --> 01:34:12,387 And it started long before I met you. 1505 01:34:14,315 --> 01:34:15,351 It's all right. 1506 01:34:16,359 --> 01:34:17,645 It is. Don't feel bad. 1507 01:34:18,111 --> 01:34:21,525 No, I actually want to tell you that I was sorry. 1508 01:34:22,282 --> 01:34:24,820 What do you mean? You're not... What are you sorry for? 1509 01:34:25,535 --> 01:34:29,700 Hey, man, I'm responsible, too, and I'm sure that 1510 01:34:29,789 --> 01:34:31,371 it's probably really difficult for you. 1511 01:34:32,000 --> 01:34:33,957 I mean, all those years, I imagine. 1512 01:34:34,043 --> 01:34:36,251 I don't want you to feel guilty or feel bad. 1513 01:34:36,337 --> 01:34:39,000 You need to know I had a good life, man. 1514 01:34:39,924 --> 01:34:41,756 Really. Things are good. 1515 01:34:42,844 --> 01:34:43,925 It's really good. 1516 01:34:44,971 --> 01:34:46,803 - No shit? - Yeah. 1517 01:34:46,890 --> 01:34:49,724 I've had a fucking shitty fucking life, man. 1518 01:34:51,102 --> 01:34:52,138 Sorry. 1519 01:34:53,980 --> 01:34:54,970 I'm sorry. 1520 01:34:59,402 --> 01:35:00,358 Um... 1521 01:35:05,491 --> 01:35:07,608 I'm coming in. I'm coming in. 1522 01:35:09,245 --> 01:35:11,077 Ah, ah, it's all right, man. 1523 01:35:21,174 --> 01:35:22,085 Hi, Mom. 1524 01:35:25,220 --> 01:35:26,427 You look pretty. 1525 01:35:31,643 --> 01:35:34,010 I guess I have to forgive you more than anyone. 1526 01:35:37,023 --> 01:35:38,309 I've cursed you. 1527 01:35:39,359 --> 01:35:40,895 I've screamed at you. 1528 01:35:44,530 --> 01:35:46,112 I never considered what it... 1529 01:35:47,158 --> 01:35:48,490 might have been like for you. 1530 01:35:51,454 --> 01:35:53,446 Might be it was really difficult to give me up. 1531 01:35:55,166 --> 01:35:56,282 Or maybe it wasn't. 1532 01:35:57,835 --> 01:35:59,246 And that's okay, too. 1533 01:36:02,715 --> 01:36:03,626 I guess... 1534 01:36:06,261 --> 01:36:10,255 I guess I'll never find you, no matter how much I search. 1535 01:36:11,891 --> 01:36:14,178 Looking up every Maggie Lynch that I could. 1536 01:36:16,062 --> 01:36:19,100 You know, I even found someone that knew you. 1537 01:36:22,527 --> 01:36:23,813 I got close. 1538 01:36:28,032 --> 01:36:29,068 But, Mom... 1539 01:36:31,953 --> 01:36:32,909 wherever... 1540 01:36:33,413 --> 01:36:34,620 wherever you are, 1541 01:36:35,707 --> 01:36:37,118 I need you to know... 1542 01:36:40,253 --> 01:36:41,585 I forgive you. 1543 01:36:44,465 --> 01:36:45,546 It's okay. 1544 01:36:53,558 --> 01:36:55,049 What's that painting, Donnie? 1545 01:36:56,477 --> 01:36:57,513 I don't know. 1546 01:36:59,897 --> 01:37:03,106 I got it the same way I got all this shit, inherited it. 1547 01:37:04,694 --> 01:37:05,605 It's, like... 1548 01:37:06,696 --> 01:37:08,278 my grandparents were, like... 1549 01:37:09,824 --> 01:37:11,440 fucking really rich. 1550 01:37:12,452 --> 01:37:14,444 So, like, my parents grew up rich, 1551 01:37:15,288 --> 01:37:17,496 and then, like, I grew up really rich. 1552 01:37:17,582 --> 01:37:19,915 It's, like, so stupid. 1553 01:37:22,420 --> 01:37:24,036 It's nice, but it's stupid. 1554 01:37:26,174 --> 01:37:28,632 Have you visited everyone you felt you wronged? 1555 01:37:29,844 --> 01:37:31,551 Forgiven everyone you wanted to forgive? 1556 01:37:32,096 --> 01:37:33,007 Yeah. 1557 01:37:33,848 --> 01:37:34,838 So... 1558 01:37:35,516 --> 01:37:37,052 what, I'm all cleared up, huh? 1559 01:37:38,353 --> 01:37:39,844 Step ten, next? 1560 01:37:40,355 --> 01:37:41,345 What about yourself? 1561 01:37:43,733 --> 01:37:44,689 What do you mean? 1562 01:37:45,109 --> 01:37:46,816 It's not all about your mother. 1563 01:37:48,237 --> 01:37:49,819 You have to forgive yourself, too. 1564 01:37:52,200 --> 01:37:54,237 Forgive yourself for listening to Dexter, 1565 01:37:54,327 --> 01:37:56,284 forgive yourself for going with him that night. 1566 01:38:06,798 --> 01:38:08,630 Hello, Brenda. Hello, all my friends. 1567 01:38:08,716 --> 01:38:11,424 How are you? It is a great day today. 1568 01:38:11,511 --> 01:38:13,969 Hey, what's happening? What's up, John? 1569 01:38:14,055 --> 01:38:15,842 Ah, nothing much. 1570 01:38:15,932 --> 01:38:17,969 You know, the usual. 1571 01:38:18,810 --> 01:38:21,143 Thought you might want to take a look at this. 1572 01:38:21,938 --> 01:38:22,894 What's this? 1573 01:38:23,231 --> 01:38:24,312 Oh, nothing. 1574 01:38:26,401 --> 01:38:29,610 Mm-hmm. 1575 01:38:30,405 --> 01:38:31,646 That's funny. 1576 01:38:31,739 --> 01:38:32,650 What is this? 1577 01:38:33,116 --> 01:38:34,573 Penthouse. Oh, wow, that's nice. 1578 01:38:35,076 --> 01:38:37,284 - "Well, that's nice"? That's it? - It's great. 1579 01:38:37,787 --> 01:38:39,779 "This area's patrolled by lesbians." 1580 01:38:39,872 --> 01:38:41,283 What are you saying about lesbians? 1581 01:38:41,958 --> 01:38:43,449 Are they intimidating or something? 1582 01:38:43,543 --> 01:38:46,581 No, it's not... I'm just saying, you know, well, maybe they're, like, 1583 01:38:46,671 --> 01:38:49,539 naked construction site security... 1584 01:38:50,091 --> 01:38:51,798 Very educational article. 1585 01:38:51,884 --> 01:38:54,376 Well, it's just a cartoon. I mean, it's just supposed to be funny. 1586 01:38:54,470 --> 01:38:55,381 Hey, John! 1587 01:38:55,721 --> 01:38:56,882 - John! - Yeah? 1588 01:38:56,973 --> 01:38:57,884 What do you got? 1589 01:39:00,893 --> 01:39:02,384 - Are you ready? - Yeah. 1590 01:39:03,646 --> 01:39:04,557 Take a look. 1591 01:39:05,481 --> 01:39:07,017 All right, let me check. 1592 01:39:07,108 --> 01:39:09,851 Okay, that's funny. 1593 01:39:09,944 --> 01:39:10,980 - It's funny. - That's funny. 1594 01:39:11,070 --> 01:39:11,935 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1595 01:39:12,029 --> 01:39:14,146 It is funny. Well, why do you think it's funny? 1596 01:39:14,824 --> 01:39:15,905 - Oh, wow. - It's, uh... 1597 01:39:17,618 --> 01:39:18,984 It's funny 'cause it makes you laugh. 1598 01:39:19,078 --> 01:39:19,989 It's not that funny. 1599 01:39:20,413 --> 01:39:22,325 The joke is funny because of the sign 1600 01:39:22,415 --> 01:39:26,329 suggesting that lesbians will kick your ass if you cross. 1601 01:39:26,419 --> 01:39:28,160 It's-it's unexpected. 1602 01:39:28,254 --> 01:39:30,246 It's-it's like a warning sign for attack dogs, 1603 01:39:30,339 --> 01:39:32,080 - but instead it's lesbians. - Thank you. 1604 01:39:32,175 --> 01:39:34,212 I mean, for the-the readers of Penthouse, 1605 01:39:34,302 --> 01:39:38,012 these men, this-this plays on this shared fear of women. 1606 01:39:38,097 --> 01:39:41,135 Just this unexpected mutual fear. 1607 01:39:41,225 --> 01:39:42,136 I mean, it's... 1608 01:39:42,768 --> 01:39:45,010 Wow. I mean, what's scarier than a group of women 1609 01:39:45,104 --> 01:39:46,470 that don't need men? 1610 01:39:48,316 --> 01:39:50,808 It's also just... really fucking funny. 1611 01:39:50,902 --> 01:39:52,518 - That's what I think. - That is funny. 1612 01:39:52,612 --> 01:39:54,604 - I didn't even think about it. - The "lesbian," exclamation point. 1613 01:39:54,697 --> 01:39:56,529 - Wow. - You guys want another beer? 1614 01:39:56,616 --> 01:39:58,152 Let me buy you guys a beer. What're you drinking? 1615 01:39:58,242 --> 01:39:59,153 Uh... 1616 01:39:59,744 --> 01:40:00,734 - Gherkin. - Cerveza? 1617 01:40:00,828 --> 01:40:01,864 - Yeah. - You want a cerveza? 1618 01:40:01,954 --> 01:40:02,865 - Same. Yeah. - That's fine. 1619 01:40:02,955 --> 01:40:04,241 Hey, can I get three cervezas? 1620 01:40:04,332 --> 01:40:06,289 You know what? Beer for everybody! 1621 01:40:08,669 --> 01:40:11,503 Hey, John. What you got for us? 1622 01:40:12,507 --> 01:40:14,043 Yes. 1623 01:40:14,634 --> 01:40:15,715 This one's great. 1624 01:40:15,801 --> 01:40:17,793 - This came for you, John. - Awesome. Thank you. 1625 01:40:32,527 --> 01:40:34,189 Hey! Callahan! 1626 01:40:34,278 --> 01:40:35,814 Loved that lawyer joke! 1627 01:40:43,663 --> 01:40:46,701 - Hey. I loved your Jesus joke, man. - Ah, really? 1628 01:40:46,791 --> 01:40:48,783 Thank God it's Friday. 1629 01:40:50,419 --> 01:40:52,661 Your cartoons are sickening. 1630 01:40:52,755 --> 01:40:54,587 You should be dropped from the paper! 1631 01:40:56,384 --> 01:40:57,215 She was really mad. 1632 01:40:57,301 --> 01:40:59,884 Yeah. I like those reactions the best, though. 1633 01:40:59,971 --> 01:41:01,712 You know? She's really telling it like it is. 1634 01:41:02,765 --> 01:41:04,381 Over here? 1635 01:41:05,560 --> 01:41:07,222 - You know what I mean? - Mm. 1636 01:41:07,311 --> 01:41:08,973 They've been in ten different bands. 1637 01:41:09,397 --> 01:41:11,480 Yes! 1638 01:41:11,566 --> 01:41:12,807 That's what I'm talking about. 1639 01:41:12,900 --> 01:41:14,766 "Harmonious male backpacker..." 1640 01:41:14,860 --> 01:41:16,647 Oh. My God, Annu, look at this. 1641 01:41:16,737 --> 01:41:18,444 "Harmonious male backpacker 1642 01:41:18,531 --> 01:41:21,274 into making 16th-century stringed instruments 1643 01:41:21,367 --> 01:41:23,950 seeks radical feminist household which will not 1644 01:41:24,036 --> 01:41:26,073 tease me about my testicles." 1645 01:41:27,373 --> 01:41:29,114 I mean, is this fucking real? 1646 01:41:29,208 --> 01:41:31,040 It doesn't seem that strange, John. 1647 01:41:31,127 --> 01:41:31,992 It doesn't? 1648 01:41:32,086 --> 01:41:33,418 You're just living in the past. 1649 01:41:34,088 --> 01:41:35,545 I'm living in the pa... Oh. 1650 01:41:46,517 --> 01:41:47,678 Bye for now. 1651 01:42:08,039 --> 01:42:09,325 I got you. 1652 01:42:12,501 --> 01:42:13,833 Are you working on your sobriety? 1653 01:42:15,338 --> 01:42:16,624 Still working on it, man. 1654 01:42:18,924 --> 01:42:20,335 Finishing all the levels? 1655 01:42:21,344 --> 01:42:24,303 Yep. I spoke at a meeting last week. 1656 01:42:24,388 --> 01:42:25,970 - John. - Yeah. 1657 01:42:27,141 --> 01:42:29,133 That is great. 1658 01:42:30,269 --> 01:42:31,885 I love step 12. 1659 01:42:31,979 --> 01:42:33,220 Yeah, I mean... 1660 01:42:34,482 --> 01:42:36,940 I was nervous, still, but... 1661 01:42:38,486 --> 01:42:40,068 I don't know, giving back. 1662 01:42:42,657 --> 01:42:43,898 You forgive yourself yet? 1663 01:42:46,661 --> 01:42:47,697 I think so. 1664 01:42:49,372 --> 01:42:50,954 What'd you forgive yourself for? 1665 01:42:53,125 --> 01:42:55,242 I forgave myself for... 1666 01:42:56,712 --> 01:42:58,248 looking for better babes. 1667 01:43:03,260 --> 01:43:05,343 Did I ever tell you how I stay sober? 1668 01:43:06,180 --> 01:43:07,136 Tell me again. 1669 01:43:10,559 --> 01:43:12,846 I was with someone for a long time. 1670 01:43:15,731 --> 01:43:17,893 He was great. He was a really sweet person. 1671 01:43:20,361 --> 01:43:23,354 But I was... I was very selfish. 1672 01:43:27,576 --> 01:43:28,908 I was very fucked up. 1673 01:43:32,206 --> 01:43:33,117 And, uh... 1674 01:43:33,958 --> 01:43:36,575 he... uh, he came home one day, 1675 01:43:37,253 --> 01:43:39,666 and I was having a seizure on the floor. 1676 01:43:40,381 --> 01:43:41,462 And... 1677 01:43:51,308 --> 01:43:53,641 When I get close to wanting a drink, 1678 01:43:54,145 --> 01:43:58,014 I... I don't think of myself or my life. 1679 01:44:03,279 --> 01:44:04,645 I think of him. 1680 01:44:06,449 --> 01:44:07,530 His face. 1681 01:44:16,375 --> 01:44:18,367 I don't know how many, uh... 1682 01:44:19,837 --> 01:44:21,954 more of these talks we're gonna have, 'cause... 1683 01:44:23,632 --> 01:44:26,591 I'm seeing the gymnasts on the lawn, John. 1684 01:44:28,929 --> 01:44:30,090 Don't say that. 1685 01:44:35,394 --> 01:44:37,135 A big part of this program 1686 01:44:38,230 --> 01:44:40,347 is losing people you don't want to lose. 1687 01:44:47,531 --> 01:44:49,693 Being a model to the world... 1688 01:44:53,162 --> 01:44:56,405 eternal virtue will be yours, 1689 01:44:57,583 --> 01:44:59,666 and you return to the boundless. 1690 01:45:02,046 --> 01:45:03,127 Lao-Tzu. 1691 01:45:04,006 --> 01:45:05,417 Chuck E. Cheese. 1692 01:45:17,228 --> 01:45:19,015 I think I'm still a little selfish. 1693 01:45:19,772 --> 01:45:21,809 I was helping you guys a lot, 'cause... 1694 01:45:22,566 --> 01:45:23,932 it was helping me. 1695 01:45:24,026 --> 01:45:25,938 My 12th step, being a sponsor. 1696 01:45:30,449 --> 01:45:32,532 You were such a pain in the ass, John. 1697 01:45:33,536 --> 01:45:34,572 I'm sorry. 1698 01:45:35,663 --> 01:45:36,904 You're the best, Donnie. 1699 01:45:37,957 --> 01:45:38,993 You really helped me. 1700 01:45:39,708 --> 01:45:40,869 You helped all of us. 1701 01:45:42,795 --> 01:45:45,082 It is hard teaching people faith. 1702 01:45:55,850 --> 01:45:56,806 Give me a hug. 1703 01:46:02,648 --> 01:46:03,559 Come here. 1704 01:46:09,113 --> 01:46:10,024 Drink water. 1705 01:46:10,656 --> 01:46:11,567 You, too. 1706 01:46:12,366 --> 01:46:14,949 It doesn't work. 1707 01:46:15,536 --> 01:46:16,947 It really doesn't. 1708 01:46:18,581 --> 01:46:19,697 Adios, amigo. 1709 01:46:21,250 --> 01:46:22,161 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1710 01:46:22,251 --> 01:46:25,289 He used to wear these really, really cool scarves. 1711 01:46:25,379 --> 01:46:26,870 Yeah, he looks like a wizard. 1712 01:46:26,964 --> 01:46:28,956 Yeah, Donnie got really sick over time. 1713 01:46:29,466 --> 01:46:31,924 - And he discovered he had AIDS. - Mm. 1714 01:46:32,219 --> 01:46:34,176 That was the last time I saw him before he died. 1715 01:46:34,722 --> 01:46:35,633 - Oh. 1716 01:46:35,931 --> 01:46:36,842 - Yeah. - The truth... 1717 01:46:36,932 --> 01:46:38,673 - Yeah, the truth hurts. - Yeah. Yeah. 1718 01:46:38,767 --> 01:46:40,008 Unfortunately. 1719 01:46:40,102 --> 01:46:41,718 So, do you want to come to the skate ramp with us? 1720 01:46:41,812 --> 01:46:44,270 - Yeah. - Yeah, absolutely. Where is it? 1721 01:46:44,356 --> 01:46:45,767 Uh, it's down the block, actually. 1722 01:46:45,858 --> 01:46:47,440 - Show me the way. - Yeah! It's there. 1723 01:46:50,362 --> 01:46:51,523 - That way. - That way? 1724 01:47:13,969 --> 01:47:17,553 I'd like to thank all those who made it possible for me to be here tonight. 1725 01:47:33,697 --> 01:47:34,608 I feel... 1726 01:47:36,909 --> 01:47:39,868 stimulated, magical. 1727 01:47:41,205 --> 01:47:43,822 At night, I seem to think more clearly. 1728 01:47:44,541 --> 01:47:47,659 I work hard, but it doesn't feel like work to me. 1729 01:47:50,631 --> 01:47:53,419 The intellectual clutter of the daytime hours 1730 01:47:53,509 --> 01:47:57,128 dissolves from my mind, which moves in an almost... 1731 01:47:57,972 --> 01:48:00,214 instinctual, animal way. 1732 01:48:02,017 --> 01:48:03,133 I'm happy. 1733 01:48:04,937 --> 01:48:08,647 I don't care that the job or the welfare office 1734 01:48:08,732 --> 01:48:10,849 is giving me gray hairs, because... 1735 01:48:13,487 --> 01:48:18,027 ideas and images are flowing through me 1736 01:48:19,118 --> 01:48:20,529 and onto the paper. 1737 01:48:23,539 --> 01:48:26,077 I'd like to thank all those who made it possible 1738 01:48:26,166 --> 01:48:27,407 for me to be here tonight. 1739 01:48:31,296 --> 01:48:32,707 Because if it weren't for you... 1740 01:48:34,925 --> 01:48:36,257 I don't think I would have made it. 1741 01:49:14,631 --> 01:49:16,213 - Yeah! - Yeah! 1742 01:49:16,300 --> 01:49:17,131 Oh. 1743 01:49:17,217 --> 01:49:18,378 - That was good. - Yeah, John. 1744 01:49:18,469 --> 01:49:19,676 - Get it! - Yeah! 1745 01:49:19,762 --> 01:49:20,627 Whoo! 1746 01:49:20,721 --> 01:49:22,883 - Oh. Uh-oh. - Oh! 1747 01:49:24,349 --> 01:49:26,386 - Gnarly! - You all right? 1748 01:49:26,477 --> 01:49:28,343 Let's go, get him up. 1749 01:49:28,437 --> 01:49:29,973 - Get his, get his shoulders. - You okay? 1750 01:49:30,064 --> 01:49:31,851 Here. Hold up. Uh... 1751 01:51:19,214 --> 01:51:25,051 # I met you on a highway night # 1752 01:51:25,429 --> 01:51:29,639 # Inside a Texas rain # 1753 01:51:31,560 --> 01:51:36,897 # The year that Mama lost her mind # 1754 01:51:37,524 --> 01:51:42,360 # And Papa went insane # 1755 01:51:43,614 --> 01:51:48,359 # And Papa went insane # 1756 01:51:52,789 --> 01:51:58,251 # You took me on a Texas trail # 1757 01:51:58,921 --> 01:52:02,915 # Laredo to Larue # 1758 01:52:04,927 --> 01:52:10,468 # It took me all those Texas towns # 1759 01:52:10,974 --> 01:52:15,218 # To fall in love with you # 1760 01:52:16,939 --> 01:52:21,024 # To fall in love with you # 1761 01:52:25,906 --> 01:52:31,447 # The babies came in winter time # 1762 01:52:32,037 --> 01:52:36,122 # You settled by the stove # 1763 01:52:40,879 --> 01:52:46,091 # You played a song that seemed so long # 1764 01:52:46,718 --> 01:52:51,133 # About a road you drove # 1765 01:52:52,641 --> 01:52:57,181 # About a road you drove # 1766 01:53:01,858 --> 01:53:06,102 # Once you spoke of Paris # 1767 01:53:07,197 --> 01:53:11,487 # And Mama said to you # 1768 01:53:13,745 --> 01:53:18,240 # There's a Paris far away # 1769 01:53:19,334 --> 01:53:23,920 # And one in Texas, too # 1770 01:53:25,340 --> 01:53:30,085 # And one in Texas, too # 1771 01:53:34,224 --> 01:53:40,095 # The moon has set inside the pines # 1772 01:53:40,605 --> 01:53:44,770 # Your sleep is soft and slow # 1773 01:53:46,611 --> 01:53:51,481 # When you leave me, leave me here # 1774 01:53:52,242 --> 01:53:56,452 # In Texas when you go # 1775 01:53:58,040 --> 01:54:02,876 # In Texas when you go #