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(CD player clicking)
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(tranquil music playing on speaker)
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WOMAN (on tape):
Good morning, winner.
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Take a deep breath.
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(Molly breathes deeply)
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Good. You're ready to dominate this day.
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You've worked harder than everyone,
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and that is why you're a champion.
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You understand
that greatness takes sacrifice.
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Visualize what you still want to achieve.
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Stand atop the mountain of your success
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and look down at everyone
who's ever doubted you.
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Fuck those losers.
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Fuck them in their stupid fucking faces.
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(bell rings)
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♪ ♪
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- (car honking repeatedly)
- MOLLY: Hey!
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- Oh, oh!
- (upbeat music playing)
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Oh, shit.
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AMY: Hold the phone.
I'm coming.
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Oh, shit.
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Woo!
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♪ We know it, keep goin' ♪
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♪ I came straight from the stage... ♪
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- AMY: What?
- MOLLY: What?
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- Excuse me.
- (music stops)
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- Oh, oh, oh! Hey!
- AMY: What? What? What?
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MOLLY: Missed ya.
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I missed you.
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- I missed you so much.
- MOLLY: Been one night.
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(Molly snapping fingers)
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Are we gonna go to school, or...
MOLLY: No.
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I don't think we are.
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No, we're just gonna stay here.
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♪ I don't wanna stress you out ♪
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♪ I just wanna tell you the truth ♪
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♪ Motherfuckers try to tear us apart ♪
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♪ But we're electric linked ♪
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♪ My revolution... ♪
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- Move!
- AMY (gasps): Jeez!
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(school bell ringing)
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- BOY: Yeah! Woo!
- Are you...
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Swear to god.
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- SAMANTHA: Whoo!
- Are you kidding me, Samantha?
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You couldn't have just gone around?
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Where was this energy
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at my inauguration assembly, folks?
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- True.
- PRINCIPAL BROWN: I hope
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I never have to see any of you
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ever again, okay.
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That's it. Signin' off.
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- Go, Crocketts!
- (mic feedback)
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Boom.
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- MOLLY: Principal Brown?
- (groaning)
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Hi, Molly, Amy.
What's shakin'?
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MOLLY: I want to make the transition
of next year's student government
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as seamless as possible,
so that when I'm up in New Haven...
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Yale. You can just say Yale, please.
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Well, our class's official policy is
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to not discuss where anyone
is attending next year.
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We don't want them to feel insecure.
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Very thoughtful.
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Anyway, I need to go over
the end-of-the-year
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budget numbers we have.
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Oh, gosh.
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Really? Like, now?
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What... I mean, why don't you
do it with Nick,
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you know? Please?
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I mean, he's you know,
he's the vice president.
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Nick?
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(laughter)
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We both know that Nick only ran for VP
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because they plan the dances.
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That position is...
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It's basically a popularity contest.
He's useless.
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Ladies, it's the last day.
You know?
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We did it. Huh? We got you
through high school.
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Can't we just graduate,
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head off to college,
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you know, celebrate this
wonderful achievement?
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Let's focus on getting through
the rest of the day without...
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MOLLY: I'm sorry. Are you
shutting the door on us?
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Because that's not subtle.
We will persist!
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Nick's like the great equalizer.
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Delegates from every group of girls
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are casting their ballots for his penis.
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Oh, and Triple A takes the lead.
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Don't call her that.
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Everybody calls her that.
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She gave roadside assistance
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to three senior guys last year.
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AMY: You hear them
getting degrading Nicknames?
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They call Sam Ross "Dick Splinter."
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That's not derogatory.
It's a factual description.
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7:20.
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Under eight minutes?
You're joking!
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- Oh, my god. 9:43.
- What?
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What am I gonna do
without you girls next year?
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Nobody around here
even attempts the Thursday.
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Well, Amy and I are gonna skype
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the puzzle every single week,
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- so we will send you our Sunday Times.
- Yep.
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MISS FINE: You know what?
Why don't I just give you two my number?
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That way, you guys can call or text me
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if you need anything.
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
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That would just make our lives.
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- Okay.
- MOLLY: Definitely.
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- I'll give you mine after.
- Oh, no, no,
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- I'll just share the contact.
- I can just...
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- I'm gonna share the contact.
- TRIPLE A: Wait, wait, wait.
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Miss Fine, I thought there were
no cell phones allowed in class.
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Or are there exceptions for ass-kissers?
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Hey! A dollar in the swear jar.
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I'm so sorry. These shorts,
they don't have pockets.
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- GEORGE: Okay, excuse me.
- BOY: Whoa, Triple A!
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Excuse me. Jesus Christ!
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Oh, my god.
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No spatial awareness
at this school.
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- Hey, Amy.
- It's her.
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Yeah?
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Did you just score
your teacher's phone number?
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Yeah.
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Nice.
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(chuckles)
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Hey, Miss Fine? You should
come party with us tonight.
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Did you just ask Miss Fine
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if she wants to party with you?
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You think she wants to watch
you and your friends
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- get drunk and break things?
- THEO: Yeah, sorry, hold on.
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I was having the conversation with her.
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- You were not part of this, so...
- Sit down, Theo.
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JARED: Yo, yo, what up, Miss Fine?
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Just wanted to drop off a last-day present
for my favorite teach.
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Jared, you are not my student.
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I've heard great things.
And hey, everybody else
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got their graduation gifts.
Right?
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Come on. Jare-Bear comin'
at you from all angles, right?
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- Nobody asked for that.
- (Alan groans)
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JARED: Big me, littler me,
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little baby Jared at the bottom.
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Baby Jared says,
"Happy graduation, everybody."
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Yeah, no one's gonna wear a shirt
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with your face on it, Jared.
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Like, not even ironically.
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Okay, well, agree to disagree.
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Jared, just go.
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I'm out of here.
Wasn't even here.
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See you, Molly.
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- AMY: Bye, Molly.
- JARED: I'll see ya.
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- Bye, Molly.
- Why does he...
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Why does he always do that?
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ALAN: Fair townspeople!
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Fa-fair townspeople!
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Fair townspeople,
I swear to god!
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(Alan clears throat)
Mark thy calendars
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and make thy plans to attend
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the drama department's summer program,
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"Shakespeare in the Parking Lot."
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(gasps)
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We will be performing the bard's comedies
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as modern tragedies
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outside Whole Foods across town.
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It was actually funny.
It's, it's what we did
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in my summer program
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last year in Barcelona.
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- When I lived in Barcelona.
- (Molly groans)
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I will be directing, and Alan...
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may be starring, pending auditions.
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I don't audition.
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I'm offer-only. (chuckles)
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This looks fun, but I'm not gonna,
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I'm not gonna be here.
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Yeah, Amy's spending
the summer in Botswana
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helping women make their own tampons.
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That's... gross.
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Well, blood attracts lions.
I'm saving lives.
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Oh, okay.
Well, that's actually noble.
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I, too, have a fear of big cats.
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And I can't, because
I'm working all summer,
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and also I don't want to.
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You are a philistine.
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Why would you do theater
when you could do debate?
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(scoffs) Because some of us
enjoy working with others.
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And some of us know how to win.
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Nobody's winning in that outfit. (hisses)
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MISS FINE: Sit down, y'all.
We got work to do.
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So, Molly...
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- Mm?
- Why don't you start us off?
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- Thank you, Miss Fine.
- Kill it.
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All right, well, as you might recall
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from my analysis yesterday,
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- we were talking about...
- BOY: It's our last day.
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MOLLY:...the idea
of submitting to authority.
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BOY: Let us live! Oh, my god!
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(indistinct chatter)
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NICK: You got to open your mouth
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a little here more, boy.
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Okay, I got you, I got you,
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- I got you, I got you.
- THEO: Okay, chips!
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NICK: I got you. You ready?
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Dude, how am I supposed to get that?
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- Okay, that was my bad.
- Nick?
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You're wild.
Wait, wait, wait.
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- Nick.
- Just one second.
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Nick, there's some
student government stuff
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- we have to go over.
- Come on, man!
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- Aim for my mouth!
- We have to go over
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the end-of-the-year budget,
so if you could just...
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Yeah, just...
Uh, we're playing this game
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00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,120
where I gotta catch it in my mouth.
It's complicated.
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I'll holler at you later, I guess.
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- I'm sure it's complicated.
- NICK: Oh.
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I cannot believe I lasted an entire year
215
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with Nick as my vice president.
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He's allergic to work.
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All he wants to do
is goof off.
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It's infuriating.
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♪ ♪
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♪ Oh baby baby baby babe ♪
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♪ How long am I supposed to wait? ♪
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Dude, go talk to Ryan.
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What? No.
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Cool, cool, 'cause I'm,
I'm gonna go talk to Ryan.
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- No. no!
- 'Cause I have so much to say...
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No.
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Fine. I'm going. Just gonna...
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There she goes.
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(mouths)
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♪ Oh baby baby baby please ♪
231
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♪ My heart says to my ears ♪
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♪ Oh baby baby do you ♪
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AMY: Oh, oh, sorry, sorry...
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- RYAN: Dude.
- (softly) Amy.
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- RYAN: It's all good. Yeah.
- Here you go. here.
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Sharp elbows.
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Not as sharp as your chin.
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RYAN: What?
239
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,400
Um, so, isn't it crazy
that it's the last day?
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I know, dude.
I can barely believe it.
241
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Are you gonna come to Nick's tonight?
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His aunt went on a cruise ship
that broke down,
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so Nick's gonna throw
a party at her house.
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That's, that's awesome.
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It's, it's all right.
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They're you know, they're stuck
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on a boat, shitting in buckets.
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Oh, well, that's not really what I meant.
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Oh, Jesus.
250
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- RYAN: Come on, Tanner.
- All right, well...
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All right. I'll see you later.
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I'll just, um...
253
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Fuck, fuck, fuck.
254
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,510
What are you doing?
Go back.
255
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:37,558
No, that was bad.
That was bad.
256
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,925
I'm good, I don't even know
if she's into girls,
257
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:39,935
so I'm good. That was...
258
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,347
She wore a polo shirt to prom.
259
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:44,101
Well, that's just her gender performance.
260
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,626
It's different from
her sexual orientation.
261
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,061
I'm sorry, but I don't get it.
262
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,337
Well, gender is a construct of...
263
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,647
No, thank you,
264
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,566
that much I understand.
It just...
265
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,113
It's a little bit shocking
266
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,861
that, that you're into Ryan.
267
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:55,987
First crush?
268
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,951
The little white cat from The Aristocats.
269
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,661
You go from that to Avril Lavigne.
270
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,831
It's just is not,
it's not what I anticipated.
271
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,452
I just like that she's...
272
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,368
always in a good mood,
273
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,210
and she's got
a really cute smile.
274
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:10,373
She just seems like she'd be
a really fun person
275
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:12,337
to have sleepovers and lie around with.
276
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,717
Excuse me? Pardon me?
277
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,906
I'm a fun person to have sleepovers
and lie around with.
278
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,046
It's literally all we do.
279
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,174
Well, with her, there'd be more...
280
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:21,930
vagina involved.
281
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,602
That's fair.
282
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,808
She said Nick's having a party tonight.
283
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,395
Of course he would.
He's so fucking stupid.
284
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,943
Somebody always gets arrested
the night before graduation.
285
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,239
Amy, do you know
how many girls are gonna be
286
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,525
up your vagina at Columbia next year?
287
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,614
Are you aware of it?
'Cause I'm aware of it.
288
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:41,411
Every time I come to visit you,
289
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,267
you're just gonna be scissoring
a different girl.
290
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,783
Dude, scissoring is not a thing.
291
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:46,996
- Don't knock it until you've tried it.
- It's not a thing.
292
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,494
Don't knock it
until you've tried it.
293
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,662
I'm not knocking it, but it's just...
294
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,609
How 'bout you don't knock it
until you've tried it?
295
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,465
♪ Lala lala lala la ♪
296
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,676
♪ Not the cemetery or the penitentiary ♪
297
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:56,964
♪ Damn my contemporaries ♪
298
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,633
♪ I'm too legendary, it's so... ♪
299
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,180
Here comes the one percent.
300
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,599
♪ Money, I got money ♪
301
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,889
♪ I got money
(Oo-oo-oooh) ♪
302
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,555
♪ Money, I got money ♪
303
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,891
That car belongs in a museum.
304
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,227
What the fuck, Jared?
I said door to door.
305
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,564
Museum of death, 'cause
its smog is killing us all.
306
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,700
- GIGI: Fuck!
- You all right?
307
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,445
They spend every minute together.
It's so weird.
308
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,155
We spend every minute together.
309
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,620
We are equals.
Gigi just keeps Jared around
310
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,645
for when she needs a liver.
311
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,855
- JARED: No, please don't get on my car.
- GIGI: I'm fucking spent, Jared!
312
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,711
- At least take the heels off.
- I'm fucking spent.
313
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:32,942
- Gege, I just got it back...
- Okay.
314
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,360
- ...from the shop.
- Shh! I'm napping.
315
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,046
Do you think it's true
that his dad got him
316
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,294
a sex worker for his fourteenth birthday?
317
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,671
It's too weird of a story to be made up.
318
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,389
There's so many specifics.
319
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,846
He sprained his ankle.
She had a hearing aid.
320
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,052
What up, chicas?
321
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,432
It's intolerable.
322
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,561
You guys hungry?
323
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,981
I, I got some soup dumps.
324
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,725
GIGI: Keep it down out there!
325
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,255
Prob... They're probably
a little soggy now,
326
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,464
- but they're great cold.
- It's all right.
327
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,695
Okay, I'm going to pee
328
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,092
in your weird-ass bathroom.
Watch my stuff.
329
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,073
Until all of us can pee without genitals,
330
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,734
none of us can.
331
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,448
MOLLY: These motherfuckers.
332
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,450
Your ugly what?
333
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,914
How did you graduate sixth grade?
334
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,621
- It's shocking to me.
- (door opens)
335
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,958
THEO: Okay. So, I would
marry the sex doll.
336
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,150
- TANNER: Right.
- THEO: Okay.
337
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,381
Fuck the soccer ball.
338
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,291
- TANNER: Yep.
- THEO: And then kill Molly.
339
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,005
TANNER: Dude! No.
340
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:21,466
There's no other way, dude.
Like, I can't fuck her
341
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,925
you know, 'cause when I'm scared,
342
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,090
my dick can't get hard.
343
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,974
And then like, I can't marry her,
344
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,218
'cause, well, I don't believe
345
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,685
- in the institution.
- Uh-huh.
346
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,437
So, I have to kill Molly.
347
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,602
And I know it'll haunt me.
I'm a peaceful person.
348
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,767
- TANNER: That's very true.
- (laughs)
349
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,776
Wait, are you guys talking
about Molly Davidson?
350
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:37,840
- TANNER: Yeah.
- THEO: Yeah.
351
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,133
TRIPLE A: That girl is so weird.
352
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,739
She always acts like she's like 40.
353
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,399
TANNER: I wish she was fucking 40, man.
354
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,846
Women in their 40s know themselves.
355
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,702
Oh, she's, she's cute.
356
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,287
You know, yeah, I'll give her that,
357
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,475
but she'd probably make you quiz
358
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,707
on her SAT analogies while you fuck her.
359
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,835
Dude, no. Her vagina's
probably stuffed with diplomas.
360
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:53,837
How much you wanna bet?
361
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,795
That shit' s like
a filing cabinet down there.
362
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,548
Well, I got no problem
with a filing cabinet.
363
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:01,631
I would make passionate sex
to Molly Davidson.
364
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:02,760
- Really?
- Yeah.
365
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,546
I'd just put a bag over her personality.
366
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,890
- (all laugh)
- Yeah.
367
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,263
Molly's like a butterface for personality.
368
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,270
A butter-personality.
369
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,352
(boys laugh)
370
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,104
THEO: Yeah! That's it.
371
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,731
- TRIPLE A: So bad.
- (toilet flushes)
372
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,859
THEO: That's cool, man, yeah.
373
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,102
What?
374
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,770
Shit.
375
00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:24,737
Oh.
376
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,994
Oh, please do not stop on my account.
377
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:31,286
Do you know what?
My vag is stuffed with diplomas.
378
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:34,293
Soon, it's gonna be stuffed
with job offers
379
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,578
and glowing profiles
380
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,088
and commendations from the governor.
381
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:42,172
So, while you guys were
all studying AP handjobs,
382
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,340
I was kicking ass and busting curves,
383
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,532
and I'm gonna continue to do that
384
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,764
at Yale next year, so...
385
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:49,893
I like my choices,
386
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,307
and wherever you three are next year,
I hope you do, too.
387
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:54,771
I'm going to Yale, too.
388
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:58,938
What?
389
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,649
I'm incredible at handjobs,
390
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,189
but I also got a 1560 on the SATs.
391
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:05,486
No, you didn't.
392
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:06,776
I got in early.
393
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,531
- To Yale?
- TRIPLE A: Uh-huh.
394
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,445
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- TRIPLE A: Mm-hmm.
395
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,956
Oh, and, Tanner,
where are you going to school?
396
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,835
Uh, I'm, I'm playing soccer at Stanford.
397
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,619
Stanford University? (scoffs)
398
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,038
What are you guys talking about?
399
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,798
- Yeah, Stanford.
- Mm-hmm. Stanford University.
400
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,967
Hey, I'm not going to college.
401
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:26,049
I got recruited to go code for Google.
402
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,092
I mean, it's not Apple,
403
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,307
but the bennies are pretty tight, man,
404
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,388
and it's mid six-figures,
so I'm not complaining.
405
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,206
- My boy. That's my boy.
- I'm so proud of you. It's amazing.
406
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,563
You failed the seventh grade twice.
407
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:37,893
Rule of threes.
408
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,166
- You guys are serious?
- TRIPLE A: Mm-hmm.
409
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,821
Hey, um, I might pretend
410
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,690
like I don't know you next year.
411
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:47,737
No offense.
412
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,368
Hmm. This...
413
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,779
This isn't possible.
414
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,618
You guys don't even care about school.
415
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:58,165
No, we just don't only care about school.
416
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,339
(scoffs)
417
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:06,961
(Theo clears throat)
418
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,013
Well, I'm, I'm done.
419
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,968
All right. After you. After you.
420
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,016
Okay.
421
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,097
(clears throat)
So-sorry, excuse me.
422
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:19,310
WOMAN (on tape):
You've worked harder than everyone
423
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:21,229
who's ever doubted you.
424
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:24,361
(echoing) Worked harder.
425
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,771
Doubted you.
426
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:34,450
(slams door)
427
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,287
- Hey, you okay?
- (exhales)
428
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,372
Nick, where are you going
to school next year?
429
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,917
- I thought we weren't supposed to talk...
- Just tell me!
430
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,630
Georgetown. Jesus.
431
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,259
- Hope!
- HOPE: No.
432
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,842
- Where you going to school next year?
- I couldn't be less interested
433
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,381
in, like, whatever this is.
434
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,971
(grunts) Gigi!
435
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,722
Where the fuck are you going
to school next year?
436
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,967
Don't judge me.
It was my fifth choice.
437
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,138
Harvard.
438
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,639
(breathing heavily)
439
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,647
(school bell ringing)
440
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,439
(upbeat music playing)
441
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:19,495
- (all cheering)
- Seniors rule!
442
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:20,876
♪ No ice with a straw, yeah ♪
443
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:24,121
♪ Now, who could drive away
from the corner? ♪
444
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,751
♪ I'm a bitch
I cannot be bothered ♪
445
00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,715
♪ I'm not here
to ask about your mother ♪
446
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,213
♪ Don't care who you are
don't care what you do ♪
447
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:36,092
♪ But if you buy my drinks
I can act like I do ♪
448
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,768
♪ A double, double rum cola ♪
449
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,517
♪ No ice, with a straw, yeah ♪
450
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,849
♪ Now, who could drive away
from the corner? ♪
451
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,569
(Amy inaudible)
452
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:00,911
AMY (singing):
♪ If you don't say something ♪
453
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,500
♪ In the next ten minutes ♪
454
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:06,331
♪ I'm gonna take you to the hospital ♪
455
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:09,546
♪ I don't wanna say
I'm getting concerned ♪
456
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:12,678
♪ But to be honest,
I'm getting concerned ♪
457
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:13,838
This is fucked!
458
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,301
Okay.
459
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,306
This is obviously not helping.
460
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,092
We chose.
We didn't party,
461
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,262
because we wanted to focus on school
462
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,771
and get into good colleges.
463
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:23,851
And it worked.
464
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:26,108
But the irresponsible people who partied
465
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,484
also got into those colleges.
466
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:28,528
They did both.
467
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,109
- So?
- So, we messed up.
468
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,989
We didn't have to choose.
They did both.
469
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,900
We are the only assholes who did one.
470
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:38,912
Hey! We are not assholes, okay?
Let's just...
471
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:41,039
Come sit down, we'll cut the cake,
472
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,324
look at the memory box,
473
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,912
- Celebrate the end...
- MOLLY: This is not
474
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,786
a time to celebrate.
475
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,958
We have to go
to a party tonight.
476
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,420
- What?
- Let's go to Nick's party.
477
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,209
Na, are you kidding?
No! No way.
478
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,924
Amy, we only have one night left
479
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,804
to have studied
and partied in high school.
480
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,637
Otherwise, we're just gonna be
the girls that missed out!
481
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,428
We haven't done anything!
We haven't broken any rules!
482
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,314
Okay. We've broken a lot of rules.
483
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,974
One, we have fake IDs.
484
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,267
Fake college IDs,
485
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,527
so we can get into
their 24-hour library.
486
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,904
Name one person
whose life was so much better
487
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,941
- because they broke a couple of rules.
- Picasso.
488
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,513
That's... He broke art rules.
Name a person who broke a real rule.
489
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,805
- Rosa Parks.
- Name another one.
490
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,616
- Susan B. Anthony.
- God damn it!
491
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,749
Amy, I'm so serious.
They think that we're robots.
492
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,000
They think all we care about
493
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,127
is taking a million APs
and getting into Yale
494
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,037
and editing law review at Georgetown,
495
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,360
and clerking for a federal judge
between junior and senior year
496
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,920
before eventually becoming
497
00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:35,507
the youngest justice ever nominated
498
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,389
to the Supreme Court of the United States!
499
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:42,519
In my case.
500
00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:44,765
You get the point.
501
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,680
Nobody knows that we are fun.
502
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,598
- We know.
- They need to know.
503
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:51,519
- Who's "they"?
- We are not one-dimensional.
504
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,608
We are smart and fun.
505
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:55,981
We have to do this.
506
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:59,526
This is crazy.
We graduate tomorrow.
507
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,028
What if we get in trouble?
508
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,242
You know that we are too smart for that.
509
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:05,032
Plus, Ryan is gonna be there.
510
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,492
She wanted you to come.
511
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,164
You're finally gonna make your move.
512
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,457
(scoffs) No.
She's not... No.
513
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,818
You've been out for two years,
and you've never kissed a girl.
514
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,708
I want you to experience this.
515
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:17,678
What will I be doing during
that time, you might ask?
516
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,681
I'm going to experience
a seminal, fun anecdote,
517
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,426
and we are gonna change our stories.
518
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,768
Forever.
519
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,683
(exhales)
520
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,251
We were gonna watch that Ken Burns thing.
521
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,062
The Dust Bowl can wait, bitch!
522
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,023
What took them four years,
we are doing in one night!
523
00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:36,397
- (plate shatters)
- Oh, Jesus!
524
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,657
♪ Like the way I work it
then I bend it over show 'em shots ♪
525
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,554
♪ All these hoes around here
sitting on they ass shots ♪
526
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:43,070
♪ Then I pop it then I shake it
like an assquake ♪
527
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:44,826
♪ More then all these fakes
I bet these bitches know me ♪
528
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:45,851
♪ I'm the baddest in the building ♪
529
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:46,875
♪ Now these bitches want to be me... ♪
530
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:48,083
- No.
- No.
531
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,521
- No. Not acceptable.
- This is not okay.
532
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,025
Who allowed you to be this beautiful?
533
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:55,253
- Who allowed you to be this beautiful?
- Who allowed you to take my breath away?
534
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,296
Call the paramedics.
Call the police.
535
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,843
'Cause there has been an emergency.
536
00:18:58,846 --> 00:18:59,846
I can't look right at it.
537
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,263
(grunting) Not today!
538
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,803
Grip escape move!
539
00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:09,680
Oh. Work. Get it. Tushy.
540
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:13,100
AMY: Hand sanitizer.
Chapstick. College IDs.
541
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:14,435
Now, mace. Listen,
542
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,298
it is very important
that you keep the safety...
543
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,234
- (mace sprays)
- (both exclaiming)
544
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:19,523
- Amy!
- The safety's not on!
545
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,740
Don't touch your eyes!
546
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,738
You have the same parts she does.
547
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,535
You just take what you do to yourself,
548
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,654
flip it upside down.
549
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,538
Well, I don't, I don't really...
550
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,700
Just a down, but a flip.
551
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,292
- I don't...
- A down flip.
552
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,712
What if I don't use my hands?
553
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,336
You can make yourself come
using only your mind?
554
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,583
- AMY: No!
- That's the one thing
555
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,050
- my mind can't do.
- AMY: No!
556
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,968
Look, I use, just...
557
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,052
other stuff.
558
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,426
- MOLLY: A book?
- AMY: No.
559
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,470
Very Freudian, but I'd worry
about paper cuts.
560
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,685
No! Can we just stop talking about this?
561
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:51,229
- That little elephant?
- AMY: No! Stop!
562
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:52,315
That weird crochet pig?
563
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,437
AMY: My grandma gave me that
right before she died!
564
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,545
If you don't tell me what it is,
565
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,855
- you know I'm gonna get it...
- It's the panda!
566
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,194
It's the panda, okay?
567
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,442
The panda. Whatever. Just...
568
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,025
Argh. Can we just stop talking about this,
569
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,782
please, for the love of all things?
570
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:06,949
(whispers) Quick question.
571
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,863
Just a quick Q.
572
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,449
What happened to her eye?
573
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:14,495
That fell off way before
anything happened between us.
574
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,709
- Does she talk dirty to you?
- Mm-mm.
575
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:19,249
Tell you about how she's endangered?
576
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:20,629
AMY: No!
577
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,593
- Stop!
- Do pandas roar?
578
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:23,638
- Stop!
- (laughing)
579
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,505
You sneaky little bitch!
580
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,390
I can't believe you didn't tell me
581
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,056
that you have been mounting
that tragic panda
582
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,728
every single night! (laughs)
583
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,726
- Yeah.
- This is honestly, it's exhilarating.
584
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,474
I thought I knew everything about you.
585
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,104
I think it's healthy for a relationship
586
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,852
to have secrets, and now we have one.
587
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,563
Do I have a secret for you?
Okay, yes.
588
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,815
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
589
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,566
(whispers) I once tried to masturbate
590
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,445
with an electric toothbrush.
591
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,492
But I got a horrible UTI.
592
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:54,330
Horrible. Like... horrible.
593
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,457
I wish that would've been a secret,
594
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:59,252
but you've mentioned it many, many times.
595
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:05,258
Hey, hey!
I need you to do the talking.
596
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:07,639
Why don't you just tell them
we're going to a party?
597
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,348
Because they'll ask too many questions.
598
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:10,579
They'll try to call Nick's aunt.
599
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,095
I've never lied to my parents before.
600
00:21:13,147 --> 00:21:15,355
And you know when I lie,
I just add too many details.
601
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,350
Just, just make up a story, but don't say
602
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:19,893
we're having a date night or anything.
603
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:22,271
Why? It's funny your parents
think we're boning.
604
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:24,481
No, it's not, because you're not the one
605
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,490
who has to deal with their creepy smiles
606
00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:28,486
when I tell them I'm meeting
you at the library,
607
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:30,988
when I'm actually
meeting you at the library.
608
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:33,786
Honestly, it's surprising
that Doug and Charmaine are supportive,
609
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,001
considering their whole Jesus thing.
It's nice.
610
00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:37,952
DOUG: Charmaine, get to the safe room.
611
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,579
- MOLLY: Hey!
- DOUG: We're being robbed by super models!
612
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:41,877
Aw, you girls look fabulous!
613
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:44,126
And smart and also brave.
614
00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:45,385
- Thank you.
- Yeah, thanks.
615
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:46,471
Wait, are you guys cold?
616
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,137
- A little.
- Just a little nippy.
617
00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:49,140
I'll start a fire!
618
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,786
Or I'll turn up the heat.
Just get the jackets off.
619
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,142
Dinner's about ready.
620
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,663
- Oh, well...
- CHARMAINE: You gotta taste this.
621
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:54,848
- DOUG: Yeah.
- I'm calling it
622
00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:56,058
"diplo-meatball."
623
00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:57,267
(laughter)
624
00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:58,274
- Sure!
- Don't engage, don't engage.
625
00:21:58,275 --> 00:21:59,275
Oh, right. Right, okay.
626
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,563
Um, Char-Char. Dougsicles.
627
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:05,694
Would it be okay if Amy stayed
over at my house tonight?
628
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:11,620
- The, the, the night before graduation?
- DOUG: Well...
629
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:14,285
Yeah. you know, my mom
can drive us to the ceremony.
630
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:16,157
We just want as much time
together as we can
631
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,285
before she leaves for Africa.
632
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:21,705
We made, uh, mushroom cap and gowns.
633
00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:24,633
- (both mumble)
- We made special names for all this stuff.
634
00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:26,547
Great deal of care was taken.
635
00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:29,262
- Well...
- Every... I mean, look at...
636
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,257
chips and sal-so long, high school.
637
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,386
- (girls chuckle)
- DOUG: You know,
638
00:22:32,393 --> 00:22:35,886
cheese and sala-me being your dad
639
00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:37,228
was the greatest honor of my life.
640
00:22:37,231 --> 00:22:40,895
Everything has a name.
O-Love my baby girl.
641
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:41,920
- CHARMAINE: Yeah.
- That's olives.
642
00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:43,230
- Doug...
- CHARMAINE: Do you know what?
643
00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:45,729
We get it. We get it.
644
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:47,446
- We understand, okay.
- Yes, yes, we do.
645
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:49,236
- What you two have...
- We do. I'm sorry.
646
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:52,824
What they have is very, very special.
647
00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:56,452
- Yeah.
- Ah, it really is. It is.
648
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:59,326
You know, they say
you never forget your first.
649
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:00,952
Friend.
650
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,288
- Special friend.
- Normal friend.
651
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,840
- MOLLY: Yeah, my special friend.
- Mm-hmm. yeah.
652
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:08,548
I'm just so thankful we get to spend
the whole night together
653
00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:11,922
to really show each other
how much we care
654
00:23:11,932 --> 00:23:12,932
- about each other.
- Oh!
655
00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:15,141
- That's great.
- MOLLY: Mm, my girl!
656
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:17,594
We'll probably just do a Korean face mask.
657
00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,512
Well, I don't need to know all the words.
658
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:21,931
- Okay.
- MOLLY: Go, go, go!
659
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:25,686
AMY: Okay.
660
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,314
BOTH (shriek): Yes!
661
00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:32,572
Nick's auntie's house
is about to be poppin'.
662
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:34,472
- Big-Ass party.
- Aunt Viv! Aunt Viv, I love...
663
00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:36,613
- 10-4. That's for the boy.
- (ululating)
664
00:23:36,707 --> 00:23:38,448
(Theo whooping)
665
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:40,162
Ferris isn't trying to fall in love...
666
00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:41,127
TANNER: Yes, he is.
667
00:23:41,128 --> 00:23:43,336
♪ ♪
668
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:44,746
Oh, fuck!
669
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:47,545
Oh, my god.
Tanner ate a ghost pepper.
670
00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:50,506
AMY: He needs milk!
Someone get him milk. That's...
671
00:23:50,554 --> 00:23:52,591
- That's not gonna help.
- TANNER: Oh, fuck!
672
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:57,510
AMY: Oh, that's too much milk.
He, he just had too much milk.
673
00:23:57,561 --> 00:24:01,100
Fuck! No one is answering!
674
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:03,856
(angrily) Somebody give me the address.
675
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:06,602
W-We've never hung out
with any of these people
676
00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:08,478
outside of academic activities.
677
00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:11,113
They probably think we're
calling about school stuff.
678
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:14,234
You're right.
Can we just call a Lyft?
679
00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:16,110
We still don't know where we're going.
680
00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:18,659
Do you know a Lyft driver that knows
681
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:20,032
where Nick's aunt lives?
682
00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:21,876
I think I do.
683
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:25,546
Who are you calling?
684
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,914
Don't worry about it, chica.
685
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:28,925
What?
686
00:24:28,926 --> 00:24:31,088
(pop music playing)
687
00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:37,340
Jesus Christ!
688
00:24:37,393 --> 00:24:38,850
All aboard the SS Lit...
689
00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:41,887
As Fuck!
690
00:24:41,939 --> 00:24:44,272
(clears throat)
The SS Lit As Fuck!
691
00:24:45,234 --> 00:24:46,520
I'm so glad you called.
692
00:24:46,527 --> 00:24:47,608
Sorry it took so long.
693
00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:49,440
Traffic was nerts!
694
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:50,774
I'm co... I'm coming...
695
00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:53,236
It's like Guy Fieri's wet dream.
696
00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:54,824
It's a means to an end.
697
00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:59,036
May I offer you the front,
mademoiselle? No?
698
00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,701
Going for the back.
That's cool.
699
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:01,824
Back's great, too.
700
00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:03,166
Great air flow back there.
Get on in there.
701
00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:04,579
Okay.
702
00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:07,649
Time for some nights we'll never remember
with some friends we'll never forget, huh?
703
00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:09,192
Jared, you know where the party is, right?
704
00:25:09,216 --> 00:25:10,457
Abso-fruit-ly, ladies.
705
00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:12,341
We are headed to the biggest,
706
00:25:12,386 --> 00:25:13,797
coolest grad night party in town.
707
00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:15,337
Can I get a what-what?
708
00:25:15,389 --> 00:25:16,675
Jesus Christ.
709
00:25:16,724 --> 00:25:18,306
No? That's okay. Maybe later.
710
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:19,636
It's over on the west side.
711
00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:21,642
So, get some tunes goin'.
712
00:25:21,687 --> 00:25:23,498
WOMAN (on audiobook:)
Random House Audio presents
713
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:25,434
Lean In: Women, Work
and the Will to Lead...
714
00:25:25,482 --> 00:25:28,566
Okay. That's embarrassing.
715
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:30,755
I have this thing where I like to hear
716
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:32,611
the words of powerful women before I party
717
00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:34,397
to remind myself of the respect and awe
718
00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:35,566
you ladies deserve.
719
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,734
WOMAN: "Internalizing the revolution."
720
00:25:37,786 --> 00:25:40,529
I got pregnant with
my first child in the summer...
721
00:25:40,581 --> 00:25:43,018
Well, I'll get something peppy going.
We'll get this party started, huh?
722
00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:44,578
- (engine starts)
- ♪ Holy calamity ♪
723
00:25:44,585 --> 00:25:45,826
♪ Scream insanity ♪
724
00:25:45,836 --> 00:25:48,328
♪ All you ever gonna be's
another great fan of me ♪
725
00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:50,045
♪ ♪
726
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:51,711
(phone ringing)
727
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:55,127
Sorry about that.
728
00:25:55,179 --> 00:25:57,365
Jared, it's fine.
Isn't she your girlfriend or something?
729
00:25:57,389 --> 00:26:00,052
What? No, she's... (laughs)
730
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:02,592
No girlfriend for me.
I can't pick faves.
731
00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:04,385
Too many ladies wanna lock this down,
732
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:05,762
and they don't have the code.
733
00:26:05,773 --> 00:26:08,561
2-8-3-1.
Well, tha-tha-that's my pin number.
734
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,058
- (phone ringing)
- Uh...
735
00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:12,436
(clears throat) Sorry, I'll just...
What's up, Gege?
736
00:26:12,488 --> 00:26:14,650
GIGI (on phone):
Jared, where the fuck did you go?
737
00:26:14,698 --> 00:26:15,984
I left my tin of special things
738
00:26:16,033 --> 00:26:17,114
in your car, and I need it!
739
00:26:17,159 --> 00:26:19,321
Okay, all right. Jeez, Louise!
740
00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:22,908
Do I wanna know what
a "tin of special things" is?
741
00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:26,992
(gasps) Oh, my god.
742
00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:29,036
- This is drugs.
- What?
743
00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,545
- What?
- (chuckles nervously)
744
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:31,830
Hey, Jare.
745
00:26:31,882 --> 00:26:33,748
Jared, we're just gonna hop out here.
746
00:26:33,801 --> 00:26:35,236
- Wait, what? Why?
- MOLLY: She's... No.
747
00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:37,297
- She's kidding.
- No. I'm not.
748
00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:39,053
Our, our friend, she just texted us,
749
00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:40,760
and she said she, she, she hit a possum
750
00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:41,969
- with her car.
- Oh, no.
751
00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:44,162
- AMY: Yeah, yeah, it's bad.
- Do you know what kind of possum, or...
752
00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:45,518
But the possum didn't die.
753
00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:47,645
Its adrenaline and rage
just made it stronger...
754
00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:50,306
Okay, we are not hopping off.
Keep driving.
755
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,191
What about the po...
Is she gonna be okay?
756
00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:53,254
Do you wanna text her
to see if she's okay?
757
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:54,339
MOLLY: Enough about the possum!
758
00:26:54,363 --> 00:26:55,649
Jared, you took Spanish, right?
759
00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:57,359
(speaking Spanish)
760
00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:58,635
(both speaking Chinese)
Speak Chinese.
761
00:26:58,659 --> 00:26:59,991
It's gonna be fine. Trust me.
762
00:27:00,035 --> 00:27:01,446
Don't patronize me.
763
00:27:01,495 --> 00:27:04,829
What if Gigi takes it and dies
and our prints are on the tin?
764
00:27:04,832 --> 00:27:06,368
Chain of custody!
765
00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:07,477
(in English)
I'm not getting any of it.
766
00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:09,479
(continues in Chinese)
Criminally negligent homicide!
767
00:27:09,503 --> 00:27:12,462
Our prints aren't on the powder.
We could pour it out the window!
768
00:27:12,506 --> 00:27:14,623
(tires screeching)
769
00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:17,049
Whoo!
770
00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:18,380
Came in a little hot there.
771
00:27:18,428 --> 00:27:21,341
That's my bad.
But we are here.
772
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:23,473
- What do we do?
- Don't move. Don't inhale.
773
00:27:23,517 --> 00:27:24,517
JARED: All right.
774
00:27:25,811 --> 00:27:26,847
Oh, shit.
775
00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:29,353
There are drugs in my orifices.
776
00:27:29,398 --> 00:27:32,232
Drugs? Oh, no, that's not drugs.
777
00:27:32,276 --> 00:27:33,812
That's just Gigi's vitamins.
778
00:27:33,861 --> 00:27:35,602
- (exhales)
- Her, her what?
779
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:37,771
Yeah. You know, like vitamin D, B-12.
780
00:27:37,823 --> 00:27:39,384
Gigi likes to crunch them up
and snort them.
781
00:27:39,408 --> 00:27:40,865
She says they work better that way.
782
00:27:40,909 --> 00:27:42,269
We'll get you cleaned up on board.
783
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:44,694
Wait. What do you mean "on board"?
784
00:27:44,746 --> 00:27:46,487
JARED: Okay. Now, you guys said
785
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,955
you wanted to go to the best party.
786
00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:51,000
So, I brought you to the best party,
787
00:27:51,086 --> 00:27:52,202
which is my party.
788
00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:54,712
- (muffled music playing)
- Prepare to get bashed!
789
00:27:54,756 --> 00:27:55,917
(horn blares)
790
00:27:55,966 --> 00:27:57,457
N-not in, like, a violent way,
791
00:27:57,551 --> 00:27:59,087
completely consensual bash.
792
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:00,255
I don't know if that was clear.
793
00:28:00,262 --> 00:28:02,128
"Prepare to get
consensually bashed," that'll say.
794
00:28:02,139 --> 00:28:03,575
I'll have 'em change it.
What do you think?
795
00:28:03,599 --> 00:28:05,511
You're serious, Jared?
This is your party?
796
00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:07,801
You don't wanna go
to Nick's lame house party.
797
00:28:07,811 --> 00:28:09,894
You don't.
A boat is international waters, right?
798
00:28:09,980 --> 00:28:12,563
Maritime law.
Just come check it out for a little bit.
799
00:28:12,649 --> 00:28:14,732
It's sick!
The catering company
800
00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:16,642
said it's the coolest party
they've ever been to.
801
00:28:16,653 --> 00:28:17,894
And I'll tell you something...
802
00:28:18,822 --> 00:28:20,939
they worked Sasha Obama's sweet 16.
803
00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:23,317
Up to you.
804
00:28:23,327 --> 00:28:24,363
What are we thinking?
805
00:28:24,453 --> 00:28:26,911
We still don't have the address to Nick's.
806
00:28:26,997 --> 00:28:29,489
Someone on board might know where it is.
807
00:28:29,583 --> 00:28:32,826
And I'd like to meet
someone who met Sasha.
808
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:34,627
Yeah. Respect for Sasha.
809
00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:36,375
- Okay. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah?
810
00:28:36,423 --> 00:28:37,423
Let's go.
811
00:28:37,466 --> 00:28:38,832
You guys excited?
812
00:28:38,842 --> 00:28:40,879
(club music playing)
813
00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:44,136
- Oh, my god!
- JARED: Welcome to the club!
814
00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:45,596
- Oh, no!
- Pretty cool, huh?
815
00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:47,591
We're on a boat ride now.
What's up with that?
816
00:28:47,684 --> 00:28:49,300
There's not a soul here, Ames.
817
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:50,805
Ice tiger.
818
00:28:50,854 --> 00:28:52,265
This is insane.
You made gift bags?
819
00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:54,855
There's an iPad in here.
820
00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:57,313
Pre-loaded with photos of all
our best high school memories.
821
00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:59,853
Class of 2019, say what?
Champagne?
822
00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:02,230
There's a masseuse
in the back, male or female.
823
00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:04,361
Gambling behind the bar.
Do you guys tan?
824
00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:07,910
(growls) I'm so happy you guys are here.
825
00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:10,121
(exhales sharply)
I knew you guys partied.
826
00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:11,309
- Didn't I, Jared?
- JARED: You did. She said it.
827
00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:12,949
GIGI: I told him. Those guys seem quiet,
828
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,576
but they're probably spending
every weekend
829
00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:15,827
at, like, a sex dungeon.
830
00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:16,837
- No.
- Nope.
831
00:29:16,838 --> 00:29:18,500
Here. Try one of these strawberries.
832
00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:20,502
Okay.
(exhales)
833
00:29:20,509 --> 00:29:23,092
- AMY: No.
- MOLLY: No, no, no.
834
00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:26,088
(all moaning)
835
00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:30,304
- Not bad.
- That's pretty good.
836
00:29:30,352 --> 00:29:31,718
Wait.
837
00:29:35,065 --> 00:29:37,273
- AMY: Mm...
- (sniffs)
838
00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:38,649
(exhales)
839
00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:40,518
Oh, god, you taste like my vitamins.
840
00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:43,647
- I think I'm in love with you.
- Uh... I don't think you are.
841
00:29:43,699 --> 00:29:45,156
You're coming with me.
842
00:29:45,158 --> 00:29:47,775
- No, I don't think so.
- Dance party upstairs!
843
00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:49,402
Yeah! Whoo!
844
00:29:49,413 --> 00:29:51,871
- MOLLY: No, wait. Amy! Amy!
- GIGI: Yes! Yes! Yeah!
845
00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:53,198
Amy! Ame, we're not...
846
00:29:53,208 --> 00:29:54,494
Look what I found,
847
00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:55,742
with your name on it.
848
00:29:55,752 --> 00:29:56,993
Come on. Too cool.
849
00:29:57,087 --> 00:29:58,874
How do you feel, huh?
You look stoked.
850
00:29:58,922 --> 00:30:00,584
- Chicken spring roll?
- No, thank you.
851
00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:01,793
(upbeat music playing)
852
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,336
(Amy mumbles)
853
00:30:03,427 --> 00:30:04,963
(gasps) You want?
854
00:30:05,721 --> 00:30:08,885
Oh. No, thank you.
Not a drug person.
855
00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:10,222
Not even pot?
856
00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:11,932
I feel like it could help you relax.
857
00:30:11,935 --> 00:30:14,302
- Nope. Doesn't work for me.
- Hmm.
858
00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:16,391
DJ Rod!
859
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:17,851
What the fuck?
860
00:30:17,858 --> 00:30:20,350
- (techno music playing)
- (disc scratching)
861
00:30:20,402 --> 00:30:22,815
Jared... stop.
862
00:30:22,863 --> 00:30:24,775
- Jared, wrap...
- (air horn blaring)
863
00:30:24,865 --> 00:30:26,606
Take the helmet off!
864
00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:28,490
Take the helmet off!
865
00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:29,493
(music stops)
866
00:30:30,370 --> 00:30:31,906
This isn't working.
867
00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,495
You can't buy people's affection.
868
00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:36,370
Um...
869
00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:41,454
Mmm... no, I'm pretty sure you can,
870
00:30:41,506 --> 00:30:43,372
'cause I've seen it a lot.
871
00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:46,217
My parents did it.
Their parents did it.
872
00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:47,739
MOLLY: Just stop trying so hard, okay.
873
00:30:47,763 --> 00:30:49,282
People can sense it.
It turns them off.
874
00:30:49,306 --> 00:30:50,513
But you try hard.
875
00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:54,243
I mean, you try hard at everything.
That's what I like about you.
876
00:30:56,021 --> 00:30:57,040
- I didn't mean it like...
- Uh, no.
877
00:30:57,064 --> 00:30:58,022
I'm just gonna...
878
00:30:58,023 --> 00:30:59,667
- I meant more like...
- I'm... I'm gonna go.
879
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:00,691
Lamb meatball?
880
00:31:00,776 --> 00:31:02,017
Motherfucker!
You're everywhere!
881
00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:04,102
One time I ate a legal pot brownie
882
00:31:04,154 --> 00:31:05,861
when Model UN went to Amsterdam.
883
00:31:06,740 --> 00:31:09,260
And as soon as I got high,
I just cried about the fact that one day
884
00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:11,025
- my mom will die, so...
- (gasps)
885
00:31:11,078 --> 00:31:13,070
- I had the exact same thing.
- Really?
886
00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:15,659
I lost my virginity in
what I thought was a park,
887
00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:17,156
but it turned out to be a graveyard.
888
00:31:17,167 --> 00:31:19,159
And now the ghost spirits
live inside my eggs,
889
00:31:19,169 --> 00:31:20,535
waiting to be reborn.
890
00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:21,703
That's not at all the same.
891
00:31:21,755 --> 00:31:23,212
I always felt like we were similar.
892
00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,005
God, I'm gonna miss you.
Come here.
893
00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:26,008
Hey, you can't smoke up here.
894
00:31:26,009 --> 00:31:27,320
- Oh.
- What'd you just say to her?
895
00:31:27,344 --> 00:31:28,880
I said it to you.
You can't smoke.
896
00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:29,968
- Um...
- Uh-uh-uh.
897
00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:31,712
You do not speak
to her that way.
898
00:31:31,807 --> 00:31:33,548
Is the "her" me?
'Cause I'm fine.
899
00:31:33,558 --> 00:31:35,971
That is my best friend
in the fucking world.
900
00:31:36,061 --> 00:31:37,677
We're not. She's not...
901
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:39,265
We'll fucking fight you to the death!
902
00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:41,480
- (bottle shatters)
- Okay! I'm calling security.
903
00:31:41,483 --> 00:31:42,849
MOLLY: Amy, we need to get
904
00:31:42,943 --> 00:31:44,184
- the fuck out of here...
- Oh, my god!
905
00:31:44,194 --> 00:31:45,194
MOLLY:
...because I swear to...
906
00:31:45,195 --> 00:31:46,561
Light 'em up, Luanne!
907
00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:47,778
It's go time!
908
00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:49,610
There's only one thing left to do.
909
00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:50,948
- (fireworks bursting)
- Jump.
910
00:31:51,034 --> 00:31:52,070
- No
- Wait. What?
911
00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:54,034
No! No, thank you!
No, seriously, Gigi.
912
00:31:54,121 --> 00:31:55,532
What're you guys doing up here?
913
00:31:55,539 --> 00:31:58,282
- Swan dive into the future!
- Grip escape move!
914
00:31:59,209 --> 00:32:01,952
- No, no, no. Gege. Gege!
- (Gigi screaming)
915
00:32:02,003 --> 00:32:03,869
- (water splashing)
- Holy fuck!
916
00:32:03,964 --> 00:32:05,205
Gege, are you okay?
917
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:06,418
- She's okay!
- Just bail.
918
00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:07,541
Bail! Bail! Bail!
919
00:32:07,634 --> 00:32:09,341
(both laughing)
920
00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:11,461
(fireworks popping)
921
00:32:14,307 --> 00:32:17,675
Oh, my god! I'm so sweaty!
922
00:32:17,686 --> 00:32:19,598
Ugh! My god!
923
00:32:19,688 --> 00:32:22,431
We need to figure something out
before we get to Nick's.
924
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:24,603
- You still wanna go to Nick's?
- You don't?
925
00:32:24,693 --> 00:32:27,436
Well, dude, we went to a party.
926
00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:28,812
We did it. Let's go home.
927
00:32:31,867 --> 00:32:34,405
- (smacks lips) Amy?
- Don't do your lecture voice.
928
00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:36,326
That was not a party.
929
00:32:36,371 --> 00:32:38,203
Well, it definitely was a party.
930
00:32:38,206 --> 00:32:39,913
That was a detour.
931
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,538
We are A-plus people,
932
00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:44,744
and we were going to an A-plus party.
933
00:32:44,754 --> 00:32:45,790
Like this.
934
00:32:47,591 --> 00:32:48,957
(all cheering)
935
00:32:49,718 --> 00:32:51,334
(cell phone buzzes)
936
00:32:51,428 --> 00:32:52,447
Oh, my god. Alan responded.
937
00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:54,679
We have the address!
Okay, I'm calling a Lyft.
938
00:32:54,764 --> 00:32:57,757
Oh, my score is...
my score is very low.
939
00:32:57,809 --> 00:32:59,425
I'm much too abrasive with the drivers.
940
00:32:59,436 --> 00:33:01,348
- You should call for one.
- I'm gonna go home.
941
00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:03,479
But if you wanna go to Nick's,
you should really go.
942
00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:04,598
Seriously, go.
943
00:33:06,109 --> 00:33:07,270
Malala.
944
00:33:10,697 --> 00:33:11,938
Whoa.
945
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,731
I'm calling Malala.
946
00:33:13,742 --> 00:33:17,611
Wow. You know you only get,
like, one Malala a year.
947
00:33:17,704 --> 00:33:19,286
Yeah, I'm calling it.
948
00:33:19,289 --> 00:33:21,372
Full support, no questions asked,
949
00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:22,535
you are coming with me.
950
00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:23,620
Hmm.
951
00:33:25,253 --> 00:33:26,414
(Amy sighs)
952
00:33:26,463 --> 00:33:27,579
Malala.
953
00:33:28,548 --> 00:33:29,548
All right.
954
00:33:30,634 --> 00:33:31,592
Malala.
955
00:33:31,593 --> 00:33:34,131
♪ ♪
956
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:36,675
(both exclaiming)
957
00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:38,422
- (Molly chuckles)
- Um...
958
00:33:38,475 --> 00:33:40,182
Okay. Jordan?
959
00:33:40,227 --> 00:33:41,843
Yeah, and you're Amy...
960
00:33:44,606 --> 00:33:46,723
Shit.
961
00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:52,107
(sniffs)
962
00:33:54,199 --> 00:33:56,612
(stammers) You know, this job's a good way
963
00:33:56,660 --> 00:33:59,118
to supplement the, uh, the old income.
964
00:33:59,162 --> 00:34:01,324
You know, teachers' salaries
today and all, it's...
965
00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:03,410
- It's so terrible.
- Yeah, it's a disgrace.
966
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:04,536
Yeah, meet new people
967
00:34:04,584 --> 00:34:05,728
and see new parts of the city
968
00:34:05,752 --> 00:34:06,993
and run into old friends.
969
00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:08,161
(chuckles awkwardly)
970
00:34:08,213 --> 00:34:09,374
(whispers) "Friends"?
971
00:34:09,464 --> 00:34:10,671
Plus, I'm writing a book now.
972
00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:12,206
- BOTH: Oh!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
973
00:34:12,259 --> 00:34:13,444
- Not just the principal.
- Cool.
974
00:34:13,468 --> 00:34:15,926
Nothing more exciting or daunting
975
00:34:15,971 --> 00:34:18,964
than the blank page, you know?
One of the books I'm thinking about doing
976
00:34:19,015 --> 00:34:20,117
- is a book of quotes.
- (phone beeps)
977
00:34:20,141 --> 00:34:22,053
"Nothing more daunting or exciting
978
00:34:22,102 --> 00:34:23,684
than the blank page."
979
00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:25,515
But yeah, that's one idea.
980
00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:27,041
Thinkin' about doing a detective novel.
981
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:29,227
Actually, you know what?
You two will love...
982
00:34:29,276 --> 00:34:30,483
Amy, you'll love this.
983
00:34:30,527 --> 00:34:32,143
It's a female detective.
984
00:34:32,195 --> 00:34:33,481
- A lady detective.
- Oh, really?
985
00:34:33,530 --> 00:34:34,674
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How about that, right?
986
00:34:34,698 --> 00:34:35,656
Interesting.
987
00:34:35,657 --> 00:34:37,398
Yeah, and she's pregnant, too.
988
00:34:37,450 --> 00:34:39,612
Still workin', and, you know, the baby...
989
00:34:39,661 --> 00:34:41,573
whenever she's close to a clue,
990
00:34:41,621 --> 00:34:44,534
or one of her hunches is,
like, you know, close,
991
00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:46,199
the baby kicks. You know?
992
00:34:46,251 --> 00:34:48,868
And the harder it kicks,
the closer she is,
993
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,147
and that's where I'm at right...
994
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:52,333
I... I don't know what to do once, um...
995
00:34:52,382 --> 00:34:55,250
you know, when she gives birth, but, um...
996
00:34:55,302 --> 00:34:58,170
- (honking)
- Hey, you dumb son of a bitch!
997
00:34:58,221 --> 00:34:59,507
Choose a lane!
998
00:35:00,390 --> 00:35:02,723
That was nuts. (chuckles)
I don't know what that was.
999
00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:04,487
- (girls chuckle nervously)
- Oh, this town.
1000
00:35:05,020 --> 00:35:07,182
Lot of angry people in this town.
1001
00:35:09,482 --> 00:35:10,563
Yeah.
1002
00:35:16,448 --> 00:35:17,466
You guys want some music, maybe?
1003
00:35:17,490 --> 00:35:19,777
- Yeah. Genius.
- Yeah.
1004
00:35:21,077 --> 00:35:23,535
(funk music playing)
1005
00:35:23,622 --> 00:35:25,909
Dude, we're gonna get to Nick's so late.
1006
00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:28,074
It's fine.
Everybody shows up to parties late.
1007
00:35:28,168 --> 00:35:30,251
It's like... it's cooler to be late.
1008
00:35:30,253 --> 00:35:32,119
We're gonna arrive right at the crest
1009
00:35:32,172 --> 00:35:34,066
and before you know it,
you'll be neck deep in Ryan.
1010
00:35:34,090 --> 00:35:37,424
- Neck deep in what direction?
- You tell me.
1011
00:35:37,469 --> 00:35:40,007
I don't know.
I don't know anything.
1012
00:35:40,055 --> 00:35:41,135
This is like your nightmare
1013
00:35:41,181 --> 00:35:43,013
about having to land a commercial airliner
1014
00:35:43,058 --> 00:35:44,845
but much, much worse.
1015
00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:48,890
I mean, is it? Is it worse?
1016
00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:50,019
Well, yeah.
1017
00:35:50,106 --> 00:35:51,563
I had the lives of 100 people in my hands.
1018
00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:53,808
My crew was counting on me.
I mean, I was their Sully.
1019
00:35:53,902 --> 00:35:55,393
- I'm really stressed about it.
- I'm...
1020
00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:56,769
Okay. I know you are.
1021
00:35:56,821 --> 00:35:58,153
If only there was just...
1022
00:35:59,324 --> 00:36:01,361
a video of people hookin' up.
1023
00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:05,153
Sorry, are you talking about porn?
1024
00:36:05,205 --> 00:36:06,491
- All I'm saying...
- No.
1025
00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:10,579
No one will know if you
watched one porn one time.
1026
00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:12,038
Think of it as a documentary.
1027
00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:14,625
It's just a sexy documentary.
It's a hot doc.
1028
00:36:14,673 --> 00:36:17,381
All of those women are
European trafficking victims.
1029
00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:18,611
Excuse me, ma'am, are you judging
1030
00:36:18,635 --> 00:36:20,001
other people's sexual preferences?
1031
00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:21,405
'Cause you fuck a panda every night.
1032
00:36:21,429 --> 00:36:23,136
"Fuck a panda."
So fucking funny!
1033
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,717
Are you about to say you're gonna judge me
1034
00:36:24,724 --> 00:36:26,511
for dabbling in pornography?
1035
00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:28,037
I thought you were
a sex-positive feminist.
1036
00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:29,597
Are you insane?
1037
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:32,480
Principal Brown is right there!
1038
00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:34,686
- I have headphones.
- He's four feet away from us.
1039
00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:36,810
I have headphones, madam.
1040
00:36:38,154 --> 00:36:41,238
All right, but once we get
a sense of the mechanics,
1041
00:36:41,241 --> 00:36:43,574
I am shutting it off real quick.
1042
00:36:43,576 --> 00:36:44,692
Of course.
1043
00:36:46,496 --> 00:36:47,907
It's for educational purposes.
1044
00:36:47,956 --> 00:36:49,242
Educational purposes.
1045
00:36:51,835 --> 00:36:54,122
♪ Ow, we want the funk ♪
1046
00:36:54,170 --> 00:36:55,206
MOLLY: Huh.
1047
00:36:55,255 --> 00:36:56,416
♪ Give up the funk ♪
1048
00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:59,002
♪ Ow, we need the funk... ♪
1049
00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:00,795
Plug in.
Your phone's gonna die.
1050
00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:02,803
Um...
1051
00:37:03,638 --> 00:37:04,799
(clicks tongue)
1052
00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:06,557
Principal Brown?
1053
00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:09,221
Oh. (chuckles)
Principal Brown was my dad.
1054
00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:10,350
Just call me Jordan.
1055
00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:12,011
Uh... no, thank you.
1056
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,349
- Principal Brown?
- BROWN: Yes.
1057
00:37:13,398 --> 00:37:15,606
(stammers) Uh, do you have
a phone charger?
1058
00:37:15,650 --> 00:37:18,358
No, I don't. Got, like, 13.
1059
00:37:18,361 --> 00:37:20,353
Yeah, here.
There you go. Catch.
1060
00:37:22,782 --> 00:37:24,739
I didn't know you could
do that from that angle.
1061
00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:27,989
Oh, wait, what did I miss?
1062
00:37:28,037 --> 00:37:29,448
- Go back, actually.
- Yeah, scroll back?
1063
00:37:29,456 --> 00:37:30,850
I need to review that part.
Wait, it start...
1064
00:37:30,874 --> 00:37:31,994
- Right there.
- Right there.
1065
00:37:33,001 --> 00:37:34,561
If you guys wanna listen to your music,
1066
00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:35,827
I can just plug it in up here.
1067
00:37:35,879 --> 00:37:37,962
- AMY: What? No! No!
- MOLLY: No, no!
1068
00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:39,713
- (rapid squelching)
- AMY: No, fuck!
1069
00:37:39,758 --> 00:37:42,341
- (woman 1 moaning)
- WOMAN 2: That's fuckin' hot.
1070
00:37:42,385 --> 00:37:44,705
- (rapid squelching continues)
- (Molly and Amy exclaiming)
1071
00:37:45,722 --> 00:37:47,714
- AMY: Come on! Come on.
- (Molly sighs)
1072
00:37:47,724 --> 00:37:49,056
(video stops)
1073
00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:57,185
Don't touch me.
1074
00:37:59,736 --> 00:38:01,068
Was that Cardi B?
1075
00:38:03,406 --> 00:38:05,193
(both laughing)
1076
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:06,281
Oh, my god.
1077
00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:07,470
I can't believe that happened.
1078
00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:08,951
- AMY: You are the devil.
- MOLLY: I'm gonna die.
1079
00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:11,661
I'm literally gonna physically die.
1080
00:38:11,706 --> 00:38:13,572
- (doorbell chiming)
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
1081
00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:18,161
- Come in.
- (peppy jazz music playing)
1082
00:38:18,171 --> 00:38:21,505
- ALAN: He's dead!
- What the fuck?
1083
00:38:21,549 --> 00:38:24,087
- He's dead!
- Who's dead?
1084
00:38:24,093 --> 00:38:27,632
My husband. He's been killed!
1085
00:38:27,722 --> 00:38:30,556
Okay, Alan, you don't have
to do your entrance
1086
00:38:30,558 --> 00:38:33,175
every time somebody arrives,
okay? (chuckles)
1087
00:38:34,938 --> 00:38:37,180
- What are you guys doing here?
- What is going on?
1088
00:38:37,273 --> 00:38:39,981
It's a murder mystery party.
1089
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,264
I've been planning it
for months.
1090
00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:43,356
Wait. This is your house? Alan!
1091
00:38:43,363 --> 00:38:45,946
Alan, I was so clear in my text.
1092
00:38:45,949 --> 00:38:47,861
We were looking
for Nick's party!
1093
00:38:47,909 --> 00:38:50,322
My husband, Robert, was
an esteemed Broadway director
1094
00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:52,445
and the love of my life!
1095
00:38:52,455 --> 00:38:56,290
And he's been killed
like a dog in the street!
1096
00:38:56,376 --> 00:38:59,414
- Was he stabbed?
- That sounds very tragic,
1097
00:38:59,420 --> 00:39:00,501
but there's been a mistake.
1098
00:39:00,505 --> 00:39:01,962
We're looking for Nick's party.
1099
00:39:02,048 --> 00:39:04,210
Do you have the address?
We can't find it.
1100
00:39:04,217 --> 00:39:05,708
I don't know a Nick.
1101
00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:08,051
I only know sorrow...
1102
00:39:08,805 --> 00:39:10,046
and grief.
1103
00:39:10,139 --> 00:39:11,300
Okay, you're at a ten.
1104
00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:13,048
I need you at a two.
1105
00:39:15,144 --> 00:39:17,602
ALAN: I have a wake to plan.
1106
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:19,806
Okay, well, if you guys are here,
1107
00:39:19,899 --> 00:39:21,640
you might as well take some
of the extra characters
1108
00:39:21,651 --> 00:39:22,920
since two people decided not to show up.
1109
00:39:22,944 --> 00:39:24,435
No.
1110
00:39:24,529 --> 00:39:26,020
Okay.
1111
00:39:27,824 --> 00:39:29,156
Adorable farmer, new to the city.
1112
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:30,236
- Cool.
- No, no, no,
1113
00:39:30,326 --> 00:39:31,387
- we don't need characters...
- Hideous...
1114
00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:33,903
- ...because we're not staying.
- ...barren orthodontist.
1115
00:39:33,913 --> 00:39:35,074
Why am I barren?
1116
00:39:35,123 --> 00:39:37,331
Am I here to farm,
or have I given up that life?
1117
00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:38,783
This just says "orthodontist."
1118
00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:40,834
Your backstories are
actually in the packets.
1119
00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:42,248
No, no, no, we are not staying,
1120
00:39:42,297 --> 00:39:43,333
and we're going to Nick's party.
1121
00:39:43,339 --> 00:39:44,358
We can just stay for a second.
1122
00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:45,463
- MOLLY: No.
- Is that the party
1123
00:39:45,466 --> 00:39:47,583
- where somebody ate a ghost pepper?
- Yes.
1124
00:39:47,677 --> 00:39:49,714
Yeah, somebody here
came from there, I think.
1125
00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:50,798
Maybe the mayor?
1126
00:39:51,598 --> 00:39:54,011
Go! Immerse yourselves.
1127
00:39:54,017 --> 00:39:57,260
Review your histories in the parlor.
1128
00:39:57,270 --> 00:39:58,727
Okay, if your characters aren't married,
1129
00:39:58,730 --> 00:39:59,730
hands off each other.
1130
00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:01,771
GIGI: No. (sobbing)
1131
00:40:03,359 --> 00:40:06,102
- Do not go gently...
- Whoa, she's really good.
1132
00:40:06,863 --> 00:40:08,104
Oh, my god! You guys are here.
1133
00:40:08,156 --> 00:40:09,592
- Whoa, what the fuck?
- How did you get here?
1134
00:40:09,616 --> 00:40:11,824
- How did you get here?
- And how are you dry?
1135
00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:13,697
How are you dry?
1136
00:40:13,703 --> 00:40:15,820
Aaron, I can see you breathing.
1137
00:40:15,830 --> 00:40:17,787
Gigi, mm, dig deeper.
1138
00:40:17,832 --> 00:40:19,289
- I don't know what...
- I can't think about it.
1139
00:40:19,292 --> 00:40:21,204
(exhaling loudly)
1140
00:40:21,294 --> 00:40:23,035
Oh, is it over?
1141
00:40:23,129 --> 00:40:25,291
No! Stop. Mom, do not talk to the actors.
1142
00:40:25,340 --> 00:40:27,172
The house is mine until 11:00 p.m.
1143
00:40:27,216 --> 00:40:30,004
(grunts) Cindy, I swear to fucking god.
1144
00:40:30,053 --> 00:40:31,053
(grunts)
1145
00:40:31,888 --> 00:40:34,756
- Jesus Christ! God!
- Gigi, what the fuck?
1146
00:40:34,807 --> 00:40:36,469
Guys, the re-election is coming up,
1147
00:40:36,601 --> 00:40:38,558
and I need to know
if I have to buy your votes.
1148
00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:39,844
Wait. Are you the mayor?
1149
00:40:39,938 --> 00:40:41,224
Do you know where Nick's party is?
1150
00:40:41,230 --> 00:40:43,313
Of course I do.
I know where all the parties are.
1151
00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:46,267
- Where is it?
- Come into my office. Now.
1152
00:40:46,361 --> 00:40:47,568
Okay, thank you.
1153
00:40:47,570 --> 00:40:49,277
In, in, in. Go, go, go.
1154
00:40:49,322 --> 00:40:50,858
Come, come, come.
Now, now, now!
1155
00:40:50,949 --> 00:40:52,565
(Gigi humming)
1156
00:40:52,617 --> 00:40:53,778
Okay.
1157
00:40:54,786 --> 00:40:55,902
You can't tell anyone.
1158
00:40:55,954 --> 00:40:57,161
We won't.
1159
00:40:57,163 --> 00:40:59,029
Not even each other.
1160
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,656
Okay.
1161
00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:02,158
Nick's party...
1162
00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,164
(exhales)
1163
00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:08,923
...is at his aunt's house.
1164
00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:11,466
(shouts) We know it's at his...
1165
00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:14,094
Amy, I swear to god,
I need to get out of here.
1166
00:41:14,138 --> 00:41:16,721
GIGI: By the way, I am pretty impressed
1167
00:41:16,724 --> 00:41:18,841
with how well you guys
are holding it together.
1168
00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:20,805
You're doing fantastic.
1169
00:41:20,853 --> 00:41:22,970
What do you mean?
1170
00:41:23,022 --> 00:41:25,389
I thought the strawberries
would have hit by now.
1171
00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:27,148
Why would strawberries hit?
1172
00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:31,813
Because they were dipped
in an unbelievably potent drug.
1173
00:41:32,573 --> 00:41:34,656
It's like ayahuasca but asian.
1174
00:41:35,702 --> 00:41:37,318
Asian-huasca.
1175
00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:39,695
I told you guys that, right?
1176
00:41:39,706 --> 00:41:40,913
MOLLY: No, no, no,
1177
00:41:40,957 --> 00:41:43,916
no, no, no, no!
1178
00:41:45,044 --> 00:41:46,785
(distorted) My last words!
1179
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:49,171
AMY: Pull me back in. Pull me back in.
1180
00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:50,505
Oh, my god, here.
1181
00:41:52,093 --> 00:41:53,675
(both groaning)
1182
00:41:53,678 --> 00:41:56,591
(cries) Oh, my mom has a scarf that color.
1183
00:41:56,681 --> 00:41:59,264
(breathily) Listen to me.
We're gonna be fine.
1184
00:41:59,308 --> 00:42:01,846
One time I threw up, and my mom caught it
1185
00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:04,186
in her hands 'cause she loves me.
1186
00:42:04,230 --> 00:42:07,564
We're healthy, nubile young women,
1187
00:42:07,567 --> 00:42:10,025
and we just need to stay calm.
1188
00:42:10,028 --> 00:42:11,028
We are gonna be...
1189
00:42:11,029 --> 00:42:12,270
AMY: Careful.
1190
00:42:13,281 --> 00:42:15,238
(both moan softly)
1191
00:42:18,745 --> 00:42:20,862
- (thud)
- (clattering)
1192
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,451
(old jazz music playing)
1193
00:42:23,458 --> 00:42:24,869
(ringing)
1194
00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:34,962
MOLLY: What? What the fuck?
1195
00:42:35,762 --> 00:42:38,926
AMY: What the fuck?
What is happening?
1196
00:42:38,973 --> 00:42:41,807
(both screaming)
1197
00:42:41,851 --> 00:42:43,558
Why do you look like that?
1198
00:42:43,603 --> 00:42:45,686
Uh, Molly, you're a fucking doll.
1199
00:42:45,730 --> 00:42:48,473
- No, you're a fucking doll.
- What?
1200
00:42:49,317 --> 00:42:51,604
Ow! Fuck, that hurt!
1201
00:42:51,652 --> 00:42:54,235
My boobs are too heavy.
I have no core.
1202
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:55,896
MOLLY: Our legs don't bend.
1203
00:42:55,948 --> 00:42:58,065
They're twice as long as our torsos.
1204
00:42:58,117 --> 00:43:01,656
These proportions are insane!
Where's my chub?
1205
00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:03,036
Wait. Where are you going?
1206
00:43:03,831 --> 00:43:05,471
- MOLLY: Jesus Christ.
- AMY: Wait for me!
1207
00:43:05,958 --> 00:43:08,871
MOLLY: I have to see for myself.
1208
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:10,957
Well, I've never done
the splits in my life.
1209
00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:12,837
- (yelping)
- Amy!
1210
00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:15,879
Help! Molly, help me!
1211
00:43:15,927 --> 00:43:18,169
Oh, my god!
Don't look down, Amy. No!
1212
00:43:18,221 --> 00:43:19,632
I... I can't reach.
1213
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,093
You have to put my heel in your hole.
1214
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:23,452
"My heel..."
Your heel in my what?
1215
00:43:23,476 --> 00:43:24,512
Your hole!
1216
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,052
- What hole?
- Your corn hole!
1217
00:43:27,105 --> 00:43:28,516
Oh. Fuck!
1218
00:43:28,564 --> 00:43:31,102
- Molly!
- (grunts) There you go.
1219
00:43:32,693 --> 00:43:34,184
Oh, my god.
1220
00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:36,110
Um, what the fuck am I wearing?
1221
00:43:37,949 --> 00:43:39,030
Where's my vag?
1222
00:43:39,075 --> 00:43:40,532
Uh, Molly, I have no genitals.
1223
00:43:40,576 --> 00:43:42,659
How do I pee? How do I shit?
1224
00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:44,160
I mean, I don't even have nipples.
1225
00:43:44,205 --> 00:43:45,867
These are just mounds.
1226
00:43:45,915 --> 00:43:48,328
My whole body's like a fucking dolphin.
1227
00:43:48,376 --> 00:43:53,167
Just... just perfect, round, huge mounds.
1228
00:43:53,214 --> 00:43:54,796
- Uh, what?
- Look at my body.
1229
00:43:54,841 --> 00:43:56,002
I am beautiful.
1230
00:43:56,050 --> 00:43:57,791
No. Don't get sucked in.
1231
00:43:57,802 --> 00:43:59,839
This is our nightmare, Amy.
1232
00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:02,300
I know this is unrealistic
and bad for women,
1233
00:44:02,348 --> 00:44:04,135
but is it bad?
1234
00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:05,804
Because I feel pretty good.
1235
00:44:05,852 --> 00:44:07,388
I mean, this ass won't quit.
1236
00:44:07,436 --> 00:44:09,428
Amy, use your brain!
1237
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:10,641
I don't need to use my brain.
1238
00:44:10,690 --> 00:44:13,728
I just need to be smooth and flexible.
1239
00:44:13,776 --> 00:44:15,688
Look at you, you bad bitch.
1240
00:44:16,529 --> 00:44:18,816
Okay, that's it.
We have to wake up.
1241
00:44:18,865 --> 00:44:21,107
My, my, my. Mmm.
1242
00:44:21,159 --> 00:44:22,275
(grunts)
1243
00:44:22,326 --> 00:44:23,612
I think I might, like,
1244
00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:25,653
actually stay here for a while.
1245
00:44:25,705 --> 00:44:28,413
No, I won't let you do this.
1246
00:44:28,416 --> 00:44:30,373
Stop it, stop it, stop it. Stop.
1247
00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:32,785
(grunting) You need to throw up!
1248
00:44:32,837 --> 00:44:35,796
Let me have this body!
1249
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,172
GEORGE: Now that the amuse-bouche
1250
00:44:37,175 --> 00:44:39,007
of bacon-wrapped dates is over,
1251
00:44:39,051 --> 00:44:42,294
why don't we play
a rousing round of... J'accuse!
1252
00:44:42,388 --> 00:44:44,175
(objects clattering)
1253
00:44:49,729 --> 00:44:51,812
Fuck you, George.
1254
00:44:53,524 --> 00:44:54,890
Who is she supposed to be?
1255
00:44:54,901 --> 00:44:55,859
(door closes)
1256
00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:57,317
The orthodontist.
1257
00:44:57,403 --> 00:44:59,065
(both breathe deeply)
1258
00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:02,189
We're okay. We're okay.
1259
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:05,742
We did it.
We went to two parties.
1260
00:45:05,745 --> 00:45:08,829
We did drugs.
We can say we went out.
1261
00:45:09,749 --> 00:45:11,115
Let's go home.
1262
00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:13,583
What? No, no, the plan is to go to Nick's.
1263
00:45:13,628 --> 00:45:15,665
We have to stick to the plan.
1264
00:45:16,797 --> 00:45:19,380
Dude, nothing has gone
according to plan tonight.
1265
00:45:19,425 --> 00:45:21,087
Which is why we have
to stick to the plan.
1266
00:45:21,135 --> 00:45:22,093
Let's call another Lyft.
1267
00:45:22,094 --> 00:45:23,505
Why are you being so pushy?
1268
00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:25,170
Honestly, pushy is a compliment.
1269
00:45:25,223 --> 00:45:26,464
You know who else was pushy?
1270
00:45:26,515 --> 00:45:28,928
Diane Sawyer, Joan of Arc,
Queen Noor of Jordan...
1271
00:45:28,976 --> 00:45:30,968
I know where Queen Noor is from.
1272
00:45:31,020 --> 00:45:33,040
Once we get to Nick's,
all of this will be worth it.
1273
00:45:33,064 --> 00:45:36,023
Just forget about Nick's.
No one will even tell us where it is.
1274
00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:37,899
Why are you being so obsessed
with this party?
1275
00:45:37,944 --> 00:45:39,276
GIGI: Because she loves him.
1276
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:43,064
Oh, my god.
Gigi, stop doing that!
1277
00:45:43,115 --> 00:45:44,902
- What did you say?
- Molly loves Nick.
1278
00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:47,322
Can you please stop
repeating that sentence?
1279
00:45:47,370 --> 00:45:48,781
Because it's not true.
1280
00:45:48,829 --> 00:45:50,307
- Yeah, Molly hates Nick.
- Thank you.
1281
00:45:50,331 --> 00:45:52,948
She projects disgust
to cover up a deep desire...
1282
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,368
No, no. N-o. Thanks.
Uh, you actually...
1283
00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:58,232
You just drugged us,
and you tried to throw us off of a boat.
1284
00:45:58,256 --> 00:45:59,463
I did. I did.
1285
00:45:59,507 --> 00:46:01,624
So, nothing you say is
of any value to us.
1286
00:46:01,676 --> 00:46:03,588
(trilling)
1287
00:46:03,636 --> 00:46:05,155
Yeah, no, you can stop flipping me off
1288
00:46:05,179 --> 00:46:07,216
because you should flip off,
so shut the fuck up.
1289
00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:08,597
- (Gigi snarls)
- Madam Mayor,
1290
00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:10,215
what are you doing out here?
1291
00:46:10,268 --> 00:46:11,804
George locked himself in the closet.
1292
00:46:11,852 --> 00:46:13,059
GIGI: Fuck!
1293
00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:15,346
- Dude.
- No.
1294
00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:19,609
Dude?
1295
00:46:20,736 --> 00:46:21,772
No.
1296
00:46:22,655 --> 00:46:23,655
I don't like him.
1297
00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:27,741
Yes, maybe he is classically,
1298
00:46:27,785 --> 00:46:30,152
traditionally handsome
and weirdly charming,
1299
00:46:30,204 --> 00:46:32,070
and maybe my innate biology
1300
00:46:32,123 --> 00:46:33,705
registers him as an ideal mate.
1301
00:46:33,749 --> 00:46:35,661
And yes, maybe I occasionally fantasize
1302
00:46:35,710 --> 00:46:37,076
about him sweeping me off my feet,
1303
00:46:37,128 --> 00:46:40,121
And some weaker people
might call that a tiny crush.
1304
00:46:40,172 --> 00:46:42,209
But I can ignore it,
I can fight against it
1305
00:46:42,258 --> 00:46:44,090
because we all have weird interests,
1306
00:46:44,135 --> 00:46:46,502
and the important thing is that we just,
we shove 'em down,
1307
00:46:46,512 --> 00:46:48,253
and we never speak about them again.
1308
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,552
You don't have to shove anything down.
1309
00:46:53,060 --> 00:46:54,471
Yeah. (chuckles)
1310
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,137
Yeah, I do, because I can't like him.
1311
00:46:57,148 --> 00:46:59,356
Maybe my body can like him,
1312
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:00,982
but my mind knows that that's stupid
1313
00:47:01,027 --> 00:47:02,734
because he's just... he's a jock.
1314
00:47:02,778 --> 00:47:04,770
And all he cares about is
being cool and having fun,
1315
00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:06,567
and he doesn't even look at girls
1316
00:47:06,615 --> 00:47:07,759
unless they look like Triple A.
1317
00:47:07,783 --> 00:47:09,319
And he definitely doesn't want me,
1318
00:47:09,327 --> 00:47:10,784
because I'm a butter-personality.
1319
00:47:12,121 --> 00:47:15,239
How dare you say that
about my best friend.
1320
00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:16,827
Amy, you fucking slapped me...
1321
00:47:16,834 --> 00:47:18,895
If you ever say anything like that
about yourself again,
1322
00:47:18,919 --> 00:47:21,912
I will fucking lay you out. Okay?
1323
00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:24,331
You are the strongest, coolest, smartest,
1324
00:47:24,383 --> 00:47:25,840
most stunningly gorgeous creature
1325
00:47:25,885 --> 00:47:29,094
this high school
and this earth has ever seen,
1326
00:47:29,138 --> 00:47:31,630
and Nick Howland
would be so fucking lucky
1327
00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:33,674
to be a footnote in your story.
1328
00:47:34,477 --> 00:47:35,763
So, we're going to his party.
1329
00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:36,927
Are you serious?
1330
00:47:36,979 --> 00:47:38,186
I am dead serious.
1331
00:47:39,148 --> 00:47:41,640
If Nick's what you want,
then that's what you deserve.
1332
00:47:43,027 --> 00:47:46,611
How? How are we gonna find out
where the party is?
1333
00:47:46,655 --> 00:47:48,066
By doing what we do best.
1334
00:47:48,908 --> 00:47:50,649
Motherfuckin' homework.
1335
00:47:52,161 --> 00:47:54,153
♪ Brushed my hair, went downstairs ♪
1336
00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:56,037
♪ Favorite jeans on my rear ♪
1337
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:57,656
♪ And I looked up in my mirror ♪
1338
00:47:57,708 --> 00:47:59,665
♪ And I said, "Who's that there? ♪
1339
00:47:59,668 --> 00:48:01,455
♪ Who's that there in that mirror?" ♪
1340
00:48:01,462 --> 00:48:03,374
♪ I don't care and they're aware ♪
1341
00:48:03,381 --> 00:48:05,213
♪ Now I see just why they stare ♪
1342
00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:07,040
♪ I just pay them, I don't care ♪
1343
00:48:07,051 --> 00:48:08,212
♪ I know ♪
1344
00:48:08,260 --> 00:48:09,501
♪ So what I got a attitude? ♪
1345
00:48:10,221 --> 00:48:11,632
♪ Bitch, I got a attitude ♪
1346
00:48:11,722 --> 00:48:13,602
- I will now be attempting...
- AMY: Wait, look.
1347
00:48:13,641 --> 00:48:15,678
...15 pizza boxes.
1348
00:48:15,768 --> 00:48:17,350
(yells)
1349
00:48:17,353 --> 00:48:18,969
How many orders that big do you think
1350
00:48:19,021 --> 00:48:20,432
Lido's could have filled tonight?
1351
00:48:21,565 --> 00:48:22,772
- Genius.
- Yeah.
1352
00:48:22,858 --> 00:48:24,770
(indistinct chatter)
1353
00:48:30,908 --> 00:48:32,774
♪ Y'all niggas got me hot ♪
1354
00:48:37,164 --> 00:48:38,164
PAT: Fuck.
1355
00:48:39,250 --> 00:48:40,286
♪ Say ♪
1356
00:48:41,836 --> 00:48:45,546
♪ Hey! Well, that's exactly
what a nigga came for ♪
1357
00:48:46,674 --> 00:48:49,166
♪ Huh, you doin' shots from afar... ♪
1358
00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:52,211
Two half-cheese, half-sausage pizzas
1359
00:48:52,221 --> 00:48:55,555
are just one cheese
and one sausage pizza.
1360
00:48:55,558 --> 00:48:57,925
You fucking morons. Jesus.
1361
00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:01,053
(sighs) Oh, god.
1362
00:49:01,063 --> 00:49:04,898
♪ Hey, now you, drank up
all my liquor, come on... ♪
1363
00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:06,516
(Pat muttering softly)
1364
00:49:06,527 --> 00:49:08,268
♪ And you talking all that shit... ♪
1365
00:49:08,279 --> 00:49:09,395
MOLLY: Delivery guy!
1366
00:49:09,405 --> 00:49:11,442
PAT: Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
What the fuck?
1367
00:49:11,490 --> 00:49:12,981
What the fuck is this?
1368
00:49:13,033 --> 00:49:14,365
We ask the questions!
1369
00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:15,950
Oh, my god.
Oh, shit, shit, shit.
1370
00:49:15,995 --> 00:49:17,406
Is this some Manson family shit?
1371
00:49:17,455 --> 00:49:19,321
- What is this?
- MOLLY: No!
1372
00:49:19,373 --> 00:49:21,786
No! Everything is gonna be just fine.
1373
00:49:21,834 --> 00:49:23,103
You're just gonna give us the address
1374
00:49:23,127 --> 00:49:24,807
to where you delivered
some pizzas tonight.
1375
00:49:27,339 --> 00:49:29,331
Oh, my god.
Are you guys out of your fucking mind?
1376
00:49:29,341 --> 00:49:30,502
How old are you, by the way?
1377
00:49:30,551 --> 00:49:32,383
(in deep voice)
Does not matter!
1378
00:49:32,428 --> 00:49:34,465
Okay, that voice did not make
you sound older.
1379
00:49:34,513 --> 00:49:36,129
So, you're basically children?
1380
00:49:36,182 --> 00:49:38,549
And you just willingly got
in the car of a strange man?
1381
00:49:38,601 --> 00:49:39,842
Do you guys have a weapon?
1382
00:49:40,644 --> 00:49:41,760
Yes.
1383
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,144
If we claim to have a weapon,
1384
00:49:43,189 --> 00:49:44,646
this might be a felony.
1385
00:49:44,690 --> 00:49:45,851
Fuck.
1386
00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:48,734
Okay, so you're using your hair as a mask
1387
00:49:48,777 --> 00:49:50,689
and trying to rob someone with no weapon.
1388
00:49:50,696 --> 00:49:53,689
'Cause the funny thing is,
I actually have a weapon.
1389
00:49:53,699 --> 00:49:54,735
- (girls screaming)
- AMY: Fuck!
1390
00:49:54,742 --> 00:49:56,233
MOLLY: What the fuck? You have a gun!
1391
00:49:56,285 --> 00:49:59,278
I keep that to protect myself
from bad people.
1392
00:49:59,330 --> 00:50:00,807
Something you guys
should be thinkin' about.
1393
00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:02,948
Did the possibility of sexual assault
1394
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:04,411
ever enter your minds?
1395
00:50:05,211 --> 00:50:07,828
- Not really.
- Yeah, not really, I can tell.
1396
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,293
You were spending more time
on, like, the hair
1397
00:50:10,341 --> 00:50:12,549
and that whole part of it, maybe, yeah.
1398
00:50:12,593 --> 00:50:15,176
'Cause, we're, like, right by the freeway.
1399
00:50:15,179 --> 00:50:16,795
I could have you across the state line
1400
00:50:16,847 --> 00:50:18,054
in, like, 40 minutes,
1401
00:50:18,098 --> 00:50:19,589
take you to some cabin,
1402
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:20,932
hog-tie your ankles,
1403
00:50:20,976 --> 00:50:22,888
leave you in a room
with, like, a saucer of milk
1404
00:50:22,937 --> 00:50:24,678
and videotape the whole thing
for a couple days.
1405
00:50:24,688 --> 00:50:26,224
- MOLLY: What?
- AMY: What? No.
1406
00:50:26,273 --> 00:50:27,389
- Think about that.
- What?
1407
00:50:27,441 --> 00:50:29,023
AMY: No. I'm not gonna think about...
1408
00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:30,730
We just need you to give us the address
1409
00:50:30,736 --> 00:50:32,547
to where you delivered
this huge order tonight.
1410
00:50:32,571 --> 00:50:34,563
(Theo yelling)
1411
00:50:34,615 --> 00:50:36,356
Oh, shit, that...
1412
00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:39,196
(sighs)
1413
00:50:39,912 --> 00:50:41,653
Okay. You know what?
1414
00:50:42,581 --> 00:50:43,683
I'm gonna give you the address.
1415
00:50:43,707 --> 00:50:45,744
- (girls gasping)
- I feel like if I don't,
1416
00:50:45,793 --> 00:50:47,455
you guys are so stupid,
1417
00:50:47,503 --> 00:50:49,711
some dog walker's gonna find your bodies
1418
00:50:49,755 --> 00:50:51,337
tomorrow under some overpass.
1419
00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:52,421
- Okay.
- Whoa!
1420
00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:54,165
(stammers) Don't show me your pass code.
1421
00:50:54,218 --> 00:50:55,487
Oh, that's fair.
Okay, I'm sorry.
1422
00:50:55,511 --> 00:50:57,071
That's the whole thing with pass codes.
1423
00:50:57,096 --> 00:50:58,553
I'm just copying the address.
1424
00:50:58,597 --> 00:51:01,089
Yeah, that's your private information.
1425
00:51:01,183 --> 00:51:03,800
Thank you! Thank you so much!
1426
00:51:03,852 --> 00:51:05,184
Oh, my god.
1427
00:51:05,187 --> 00:51:06,428
Um...
1428
00:51:06,438 --> 00:51:07,645
Quick Q.
1429
00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:09,435
Now that we're already in your car,
1430
00:51:09,441 --> 00:51:11,057
would you mind driving us there?
1431
00:51:12,736 --> 00:51:14,068
- Yeah, why not?
- Oh, great!
1432
00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:15,437
I'm being sarcastic!
1433
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:17,196
- Get the fuck out of my car!
- AMY: Oh, okay.
1434
00:51:17,199 --> 00:51:18,468
MOLLY: Thank you so much for your help!
1435
00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:20,950
Don't trust people.
Oh, my god.
1436
00:51:21,036 --> 00:51:23,449
(laughs excitedly)
Yes! Yes!
1437
00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:24,829
Yes! Oh, my god!
1438
00:51:24,873 --> 00:51:27,661
You were incredible!
You were so scary!
1439
00:51:27,710 --> 00:51:29,372
If you were a criminal, you'd be
1440
00:51:29,420 --> 00:51:31,537
the best fucking criminal in Los Angeles.
1441
00:51:32,673 --> 00:51:35,290
Okay, all right, let's call a chariot.
1442
00:51:38,762 --> 00:51:41,550
Fuck, I left my phone in his car!
1443
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,553
Why did I have to use
the visual aid? Wait!
1444
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,643
It's okay. Amy! Amy!
We will get it tomorrow.
1445
00:51:46,645 --> 00:51:48,307
It's fine. I'll use mine.
I'll use mine.
1446
00:51:49,064 --> 00:51:50,305
Wha... I'm at two percent?
1447
00:51:50,399 --> 00:51:51,515
Why the fuck am I at two percent?
1448
00:51:51,525 --> 00:51:53,016
Why is my battery so low?
1449
00:51:53,819 --> 00:51:57,187
Porn. We streamed a lot of porn.
1450
00:51:57,197 --> 00:51:58,813
- (stammers) Just call a Lyft.
- Fuck.
1451
00:51:58,824 --> 00:52:01,783
No, I can't call a Lyft,
because if my phone dies
1452
00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:03,993
and the driver can't contact us,
we are fucked!
1453
00:52:04,872 --> 00:52:06,408
Unless...
1454
00:52:06,415 --> 00:52:07,415
(gasps)
1455
00:52:09,418 --> 00:52:11,159
- Pick up, pick up, pick up!
- Who are you calling?
1456
00:52:11,170 --> 00:52:12,411
Hi, it's Molly and Amy.
1457
00:52:12,421 --> 00:52:13,912
We're at Lido's Pizza
on Victory Boulevard.
1458
00:52:13,922 --> 00:52:15,959
We are stranded.
Please pick us up! We need...
1459
00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:19,921
It died.
1460
00:52:19,928 --> 00:52:21,044
(Amy sighs)
1461
00:52:23,766 --> 00:52:24,766
AMY: We could hitchhike.
1462
00:52:24,767 --> 00:52:26,119
MOLLY: Are you aching to be murdered?
1463
00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:28,601
AMY: Well, I'm just throwin'
out suggestions here.
1464
00:52:28,604 --> 00:52:30,311
(Molly groans)
1465
00:52:32,941 --> 00:52:34,773
(car approaching)
1466
00:52:41,784 --> 00:52:42,784
You girls need a ride?
1467
00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:44,617
♪ ♪
1468
00:52:44,620 --> 00:52:45,952
(both squealing)
1469
00:52:45,954 --> 00:52:47,140
- AMY: Shotgun.
- MOLLY: I'll take the front.
1470
00:52:47,164 --> 00:52:49,577
So cool. I'm just gonna...
1471
00:52:49,583 --> 00:52:51,165
Amy, what are you doing?
1472
00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:53,146
AMY: My legs are, like,
half an inch longer than yours.
1473
00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:54,627
MOLLY: Okay, you know I get car sick, Amy.
1474
00:52:54,630 --> 00:52:55,711
What are you...
1475
00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:57,580
AMY: If you could just let me go...
1476
00:52:57,591 --> 00:52:59,048
MOLLY: You're embarrassing me.
1477
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:01,710
Thank you so much, Miss Fine.
You totally saved us.
1478
00:53:01,762 --> 00:53:04,550
Please. You two saved me
from rewatching Gilmore Girls.
1479
00:53:04,598 --> 00:53:06,965
I've seen it, like, 50 times.
1480
00:53:07,017 --> 00:53:09,725
Okay, wait. So, what is
this address I'm taking you to?
1481
00:53:09,770 --> 00:53:11,807
It's, uh, Nick Howland's aunt's house.
1482
00:53:11,855 --> 00:53:14,393
It's a party, technically.
1483
00:53:14,441 --> 00:53:15,602
You two want me to drive you
1484
00:53:15,651 --> 00:53:17,483
to an unsupervised house party?
1485
00:53:17,528 --> 00:53:19,064
W-Well...
1486
00:53:19,113 --> 00:53:20,945
Good. I'm glad you guys
are having some fun
1487
00:53:20,989 --> 00:53:22,230
before graduation. Ugh.
1488
00:53:22,282 --> 00:53:23,898
(both chuckle)
1489
00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:26,364
- Really?
- MISS FINE: Yes. Oh, my gosh, yes.
1490
00:53:26,412 --> 00:53:28,139
I don't want you guys to make
the same mistake I did.
1491
00:53:28,163 --> 00:53:29,324
What do you mean?
1492
00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:31,330
I spent the majority of my 20s
1493
00:53:31,375 --> 00:53:32,707
overcompensating for the fact
1494
00:53:32,751 --> 00:53:34,208
that I never had fun in high school.
1495
00:53:34,253 --> 00:53:35,835
And, you know, the pendulum then swung
1496
00:53:35,879 --> 00:53:37,336
in a completely different direction.
1497
00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:38,667
I mean, I went crazy.
1498
00:53:38,716 --> 00:53:41,129
I had some really
dark moments there in my 20s.
1499
00:53:41,135 --> 00:53:43,252
Like, some really dark moments.
1500
00:53:44,138 --> 00:53:47,506
Like, It was bad.
You know I'm banned from Jamba Juice?
1501
00:53:47,558 --> 00:53:50,392
Not a single Jamba Juice,
like, every Jamba Juice.
1502
00:53:50,394 --> 00:53:51,885
That came down from corporate.
1503
00:53:51,937 --> 00:53:53,473
Do you know how many Jamba Juices
1504
00:53:53,522 --> 00:53:54,522
there are in this country?
1505
00:53:54,523 --> 00:53:56,014
Like, a bajillion.
1506
00:53:56,066 --> 00:53:58,183
It's a national chain.
It's a sensation.
1507
00:53:58,235 --> 00:54:00,773
I cannot have another
Mango-A-Go-Go ever again.
1508
00:54:00,821 --> 00:54:02,733
But, look, I don't want that for you.
1509
00:54:02,781 --> 00:54:04,272
Okay? You still have a chance.
1510
00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:05,860
I want you two to go to this party,
1511
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:07,116
and I want you to have fun
1512
00:54:07,161 --> 00:54:09,369
because tonight is your night.
1513
00:54:09,413 --> 00:54:10,413
- Yes!
- Yes.
1514
00:54:10,414 --> 00:54:11,372
MISS FINE: Okay.
1515
00:54:11,373 --> 00:54:12,409
- Yes.
- Yes.
1516
00:54:12,458 --> 00:54:14,916
So, what are you two wearing?
1517
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:17,168
We were thinking, uh...
1518
00:54:18,046 --> 00:54:20,914
(stammers) Well, just this look.
1519
00:54:20,966 --> 00:54:22,798
You do know you guys are matching, right?
1520
00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:26,177
We added this embellishment here.
1521
00:54:26,221 --> 00:54:27,962
Well, lucky for you two,
1522
00:54:28,015 --> 00:54:29,677
I'm a single woman living in Los Angeles,
1523
00:54:29,725 --> 00:54:31,967
so I got a lot of shit in this car.
1524
00:54:31,977 --> 00:54:34,139
Why don't y'all go through
some of those bags?
1525
00:54:34,188 --> 00:54:35,724
I'm sorry.
We can touch your clothes?
1526
00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:37,625
MISS FINE: Yes, please.
Please touch my clothes.
1527
00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:39,609
- Please get a change of clothes on.
- This night.
1528
00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:45,856
BOTH: Whew!
1529
00:54:46,992 --> 00:54:48,699
- Um... Oh...
- AMY: Um...
1530
00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:51,737
BOTH: Mmm...
1531
00:54:51,789 --> 00:54:52,950
- I have no breath.
- What?
1532
00:54:52,998 --> 00:54:54,705
- Excuse me?
- Sorry, what, my friend?
1533
00:54:54,750 --> 00:54:56,603
I have nowhere to go with this.
It's too perfect.
1534
00:54:56,627 --> 00:54:57,959
You are literally glowing.
1535
00:54:58,003 --> 00:54:59,272
You've hit the level of perfection,
1536
00:54:59,296 --> 00:55:01,333
- and now I'm just...
- Be still, my heart.
1537
00:55:01,381 --> 00:55:02,609
You've just come out of the water.
1538
00:55:02,633 --> 00:55:04,861
You're fresh from the water.
You're a mermaid. You're here.
1539
00:55:04,885 --> 00:55:06,842
How are you so fucking shiny?
1540
00:55:06,887 --> 00:55:08,782
Can you fetch me an inhaler?
'Cause I can't breathe, Amy.
1541
00:55:08,806 --> 00:55:11,594
- Um, my eyes. Ow, ow!
- I'm physically unable...
1542
00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:13,383
My eyes hurt so bad from your beauty.
1543
00:55:13,435 --> 00:55:14,892
Um, exsqueeze me, ladies.
1544
00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:17,099
- There's a party to get to.
- AMY: Oh, sorry.
1545
00:55:17,147 --> 00:55:19,184
- (girls chuckle)
- All right.
1546
00:55:19,233 --> 00:55:20,974
I will see you two inside,
all right? (laughs)
1547
00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:22,395
Just kidding.
Imagine if I did, though.
1548
00:55:22,402 --> 00:55:23,483
AMY: She's kidding.
1549
00:55:23,487 --> 00:55:25,695
Imagine if I just went in.
That'd be weird, right?
1550
00:55:25,697 --> 00:55:27,484
(all laugh)
1551
00:55:27,533 --> 00:55:29,775
- Anyway, see y'all later.
- GIRLS: Okay.
1552
00:55:29,827 --> 00:55:31,944
(muffled music playing)
1553
00:55:33,372 --> 00:55:34,488
Okay.
1554
00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:37,665
(both breathing deeply)
1555
00:55:41,046 --> 00:55:42,406
- AMY: Love you.
- MOLLY: Love you.
1556
00:55:48,345 --> 00:55:49,552
♪ Look at these pros
look at these clothes ♪
1557
00:55:49,555 --> 00:55:51,296
♪ Look at this dough.
Look at this gold... ♪
1558
00:55:51,348 --> 00:55:53,431
(indistinct chatter)
1559
00:55:53,517 --> 00:55:54,974
♪ These bitches ain't fuckin'
with me killer ♪
1560
00:55:54,977 --> 00:55:56,329
♪ Look at these pros
look at these clothes ♪
1561
00:55:56,353 --> 00:55:58,122
♪ Look at this dough, look
at this gold lookin' evil ♪
1562
00:55:58,146 --> 00:55:59,728
♪ Look at me then
look at these hoes ♪
1563
00:55:59,731 --> 00:56:01,393
♪ These bitches ain't fuckin'
with me killer... ♪
1564
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,733
(inaudible dialogue)
1565
00:56:08,615 --> 00:56:10,151
(music fades out)
1566
00:56:27,759 --> 00:56:29,125
(Molly gasps)
1567
00:56:29,928 --> 00:56:31,885
(orchestral music playing)
1568
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:50,775
(soft hip-hop music playing)
1569
00:57:08,216 --> 00:57:09,423
(fast-tempo music resumes)
1570
00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:10,712
(Nick laughing)
1571
00:57:10,761 --> 00:57:12,377
- THEO: Here.
- (Tanner groans)
1572
00:57:13,263 --> 00:57:14,879
You good?
1573
00:57:14,890 --> 00:57:16,631
- Yeah.
- (Theo laughing)
1574
00:57:16,725 --> 00:57:19,684
- El presidente!
- And the protest lady.
1575
00:57:19,728 --> 00:57:21,970
TANNER: Welcome, my little turtledoves.
1576
00:57:21,980 --> 00:57:23,391
How are you?
1577
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,932
You guys want a drink or a smoke? Nothing?
1578
00:57:25,984 --> 00:57:28,192
Let me know, okay?
I'm your guy tonight.
1579
00:57:28,278 --> 00:57:29,964
I'll take care of you.
You guys are the best.
1580
00:57:29,988 --> 00:57:31,445
You guys honestly freak me out...
1581
00:57:32,407 --> 00:57:33,943
but I'm gonna miss you guys.
1582
00:57:34,034 --> 00:57:35,195
Okay? It's all love.
1583
00:57:36,036 --> 00:57:39,529
Class of '19 for-fuckin'- ever! Whoo!
1584
00:57:41,541 --> 00:57:42,873
AMY: Um...
1585
00:57:42,876 --> 00:57:46,085
- Ryan. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.
- Where? Where?
1586
00:57:46,088 --> 00:57:48,125
Oh, god. She's glowing.
1587
00:57:48,173 --> 00:57:49,755
Go get her. Hug me.
1588
00:57:51,551 --> 00:57:52,792
- Okay. Get her.
- Whew! Okay.
1589
00:57:52,803 --> 00:57:54,169
Get her. Flick the bean.
1590
00:57:55,013 --> 00:57:56,845
Molly. Here's to you, gorgeous.
1591
00:57:56,848 --> 00:57:58,885
- Thank you.
- Of course, of course.
1592
00:57:58,976 --> 00:58:00,558
Tanner, where's the rubbing alcohol?
1593
00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:01,885
There's nothing strong enough.
1594
00:58:01,895 --> 00:58:03,181
- No!
- Yep.
1595
00:58:03,230 --> 00:58:04,721
- No.
- (trills) I'm here.
1596
00:58:04,815 --> 00:58:05,773
How?
1597
00:58:05,774 --> 00:58:07,436
I'm gonna go downstairs.
1598
00:58:07,442 --> 00:58:09,058
(mimics elevator whirring)
1599
00:58:10,779 --> 00:58:11,815
Bye, Gigi.
1600
00:58:13,907 --> 00:58:15,773
(upbeat music playing)
1601
00:58:17,828 --> 00:58:19,410
♪ Ay, boy,
whatcha say, boy? ♪
1602
00:58:19,413 --> 00:58:21,530
♪ You tryna play coy
like a Gameboy? ♪
1603
00:58:21,540 --> 00:58:23,532
♪ Hit my phone boy,
is you home boy? ♪
1604
00:58:23,542 --> 00:58:25,353
♪ Are you alone boy?
Come give me dome, boy... ♪
1605
00:58:25,377 --> 00:58:26,897
RYAN: I'm so stoked you're here, dude.
1606
00:58:26,962 --> 00:58:28,169
Thanks.
1607
00:58:28,964 --> 00:58:30,580
I've always wanted you to come out.
1608
00:58:30,674 --> 00:58:32,210
Oh, I, I am out.
1609
00:58:33,343 --> 00:58:35,505
(clears throat) I came out
in the tenth grade.
1610
00:58:35,512 --> 00:58:38,846
(chuckles) No. I meant, like, come out
1611
00:58:38,849 --> 00:58:40,511
and hang out on the weekend.
1612
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:44,639
Oh. Right. "Hang out," yeah.
1613
00:58:44,646 --> 00:58:47,059
That's, that's what I meant also.
1614
00:58:47,107 --> 00:58:48,643
You need to have a little bit of fun
1615
00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:50,016
before you go to Africa.
1616
00:58:50,027 --> 00:58:51,438
You remembered I'm going to Africa?
1617
00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:54,020
Of course. Aren't you gonna go
to Uganda or something?
1618
00:58:54,114 --> 00:58:55,446
Botswana.
1619
00:58:55,449 --> 00:58:57,657
- They'd kill me in Uganda.
- Why?
1620
00:58:57,659 --> 00:59:00,493
Because that country's not
really a fan of gay people.
1621
00:59:00,495 --> 00:59:02,236
Oh, shit. That's crazy.
1622
00:59:02,289 --> 00:59:04,201
Would you be afraid
to go to Uganda...
1623
00:59:04,249 --> 00:59:05,706
GIGI: Karaoke in the guest room!
1624
00:59:05,709 --> 00:59:06,709
AMY: Jesus.
1625
00:59:06,793 --> 00:59:09,581
God, I missed you. Fuck.
1626
00:59:09,629 --> 00:59:11,469
Do you want to go do karaoke
in the guest room?
1627
00:59:11,506 --> 00:59:13,213
- I love that girl.
- Yeah.
1628
00:59:13,258 --> 00:59:14,485
- RYAN: Come on, let's go.
- Okay.
1629
00:59:14,509 --> 00:59:16,626
(upbeat music playing)
1630
00:59:20,015 --> 00:59:21,551
Uh, elbows.
1631
00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:23,262
BOY: Can we get a re-rack, please?
1632
00:59:23,310 --> 00:59:25,267
(laughs) Holy shit.
1633
00:59:25,312 --> 00:59:26,769
Wait, Molly's here?
1634
00:59:26,772 --> 00:59:29,640
What a fucking compliment
to get Molly to roll.
1635
00:59:29,691 --> 00:59:31,273
Dude, are you actually here right now?
1636
00:59:31,359 --> 00:59:32,691
Is this some mirage?
1637
00:59:32,736 --> 00:59:34,352
Am I fucking losing my mind?
1638
00:59:34,404 --> 00:59:36,066
Or did I actually get president Molly
1639
00:59:36,114 --> 00:59:37,400
to come out on a weekend?
1640
00:59:37,449 --> 00:59:39,406
It's a purely ceremonial visit.
1641
00:59:39,493 --> 00:59:42,236
Okay, okay.
Hey, why don't you sit here?
1642
00:59:42,287 --> 00:59:45,451
Yeah, right next to me.
Please, sit here and let's go.
1643
00:59:45,499 --> 00:59:46,851
I've been fucking waiting for this
1644
00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:48,662
since, like, seventh grade.
1645
00:59:48,668 --> 00:59:50,159
- Please? It's for you.
- Oh.
1646
00:59:50,212 --> 00:59:52,329
This song goes out to my cast.
1647
00:59:52,339 --> 00:59:53,339
(clears throat)
1648
00:59:54,883 --> 00:59:58,593
♪ I want you to know ♪
1649
00:59:59,513 --> 01:00:02,722
♪ That I am happy for you ♪
1650
01:00:02,724 --> 01:00:04,010
Shh!
1651
01:00:04,017 --> 01:00:07,385
♪ I wish nothing but ♪
1652
01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:11,480
♪ The best for you both ♪
1653
01:00:12,359 --> 01:00:16,854
♪ An older version like me,
is she perverted like me? ♪
1654
01:00:16,905 --> 01:00:19,443
♪ Would she go down on you in... ♪
1655
01:00:19,533 --> 01:00:20,819
(mumbling)
1656
01:00:23,411 --> 01:00:24,527
Miss Fine.
1657
01:00:25,580 --> 01:00:29,073
- Miss... Fine.
- (ice cubes rattling)
1658
01:00:29,126 --> 01:00:30,708
Senora Fine.
1659
01:00:32,379 --> 01:00:34,120
You ever made love to a Mexican?
1660
01:00:34,172 --> 01:00:36,380
- (both exclaiming)
- Hey, come here.
1661
01:00:36,466 --> 01:00:38,207
(both whooping)
1662
01:00:38,260 --> 01:00:39,626
Hey, listen, this pong
1663
01:00:39,636 --> 01:00:41,423
is actually supposed to be my thing.
1664
01:00:41,471 --> 01:00:42,698
So, if you could just tone it down
1665
01:00:42,722 --> 01:00:43,883
for my sake, my self-esteem?
1666
01:00:43,974 --> 01:00:46,182
No, I think you just have
to step up your game.
1667
01:00:46,184 --> 01:00:48,722
You just have to rise to my level.
1668
01:00:48,728 --> 01:00:49,687
It's not my fault.
1669
01:00:49,688 --> 01:00:51,179
(laughs) "To her level."
1670
01:00:51,231 --> 01:00:52,893
It's crazy we haven't hung out
1671
01:00:52,899 --> 01:00:54,561
outside of school before, you know?
1672
01:00:54,609 --> 01:00:56,771
I used to think you were
all work and no play...
1673
01:00:57,737 --> 01:00:58,978
but you're actually pretty fun.
1674
01:01:00,282 --> 01:01:02,274
I... I am fun.
1675
01:01:03,618 --> 01:01:04,734
(ice cubes rattle)
1676
01:01:04,786 --> 01:01:05,786
Okay.
1677
01:01:06,705 --> 01:01:07,741
(exhales heavily)
1678
01:01:12,919 --> 01:01:14,376
Hi, Miss Fine.
1679
01:01:14,379 --> 01:01:15,836
Hi, Theo.
1680
01:01:15,881 --> 01:01:18,089
♪ No! ♪
1681
01:01:18,133 --> 01:01:20,375
♪ And every time you speak her name ♪
1682
01:01:20,427 --> 01:01:21,759
♪ Does she know that you told me ♪
1683
01:01:21,761 --> 01:01:23,969
♪ You'd hold me until you died? ♪
1684
01:01:24,014 --> 01:01:26,631
♪ Till you died, but you're still alive ♪
1685
01:01:26,725 --> 01:01:30,685
♪ And I'm here to remind you ♪
1686
01:01:31,563 --> 01:01:35,933
♪ Of the mess you left
when you went away ♪
1687
01:01:35,984 --> 01:01:38,146
- ♪ It's not fair ♪
- Woo-hoo!
1688
01:01:38,195 --> 01:01:40,357
♪ To deny me ♪
1689
01:01:40,405 --> 01:01:44,399
♪ Of the cross I bear
that you gave to me ♪
1690
01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:48,195
♪ You, you, you oughta know, Alan ♪
1691
01:01:56,963 --> 01:01:58,124
This is amazing.
1692
01:01:58,173 --> 01:01:59,584
You're amazing.
1693
01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:02,375
You're 20, right?
1694
01:02:02,385 --> 01:02:03,546
Yeah.
1695
01:02:07,349 --> 01:02:09,011
You got a mic. You gotta sing.
1696
01:02:09,059 --> 01:02:10,391
- No.
- Please.
1697
01:02:10,435 --> 01:02:13,018
- No.
- Come on. Please?
1698
01:02:13,021 --> 01:02:14,248
Do it for me.
Come on, Amy. Come on.
1699
01:02:14,272 --> 01:02:16,184
- For you, I...
- For me.
1700
01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:17,233
Um...
1701
01:02:24,866 --> 01:02:29,486
(singing) ♪ And I'm here to remind you ♪
1702
01:02:29,496 --> 01:02:33,831
♪ Of the mess you left
when you went away ♪
1703
01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:36,042
♪ It's not fair ♪
1704
01:02:36,086 --> 01:02:37,577
You can tell she's not supporting,
1705
01:02:37,629 --> 01:02:39,165
no breath control, but it's good.
1706
01:02:39,214 --> 01:02:41,080
- It's on pitch. Yeah, yeah.
- I support you.
1707
01:02:41,132 --> 01:02:42,589
♪ That you gave to me ♪
1708
01:02:42,634 --> 01:02:45,843
♪ You, you, you oughta know ♪
1709
01:02:45,845 --> 01:02:47,711
- Oh, my god!
- (all cheering)
1710
01:02:48,974 --> 01:02:50,681
- Okay. Ready?
- Mm-hmm.
1711
01:02:50,684 --> 01:02:52,175
Fuckin'...
1712
01:02:52,185 --> 01:02:53,301
(ball clatters)
1713
01:02:53,311 --> 01:02:54,552
(both laughing)
1714
01:02:55,397 --> 01:02:58,561
- Of course.
- Nick. You need more... Oh.
1715
01:02:58,566 --> 01:03:00,273
- Are you okay?
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1716
01:03:00,277 --> 01:03:01,518
You need more of the arc.
1717
01:03:01,528 --> 01:03:03,941
Like, no, too much flick.
Like... whoo.
1718
01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:05,654
See, well, that's easy for you to say
1719
01:03:05,657 --> 01:03:07,239
when you're, like,
three feet tall, all right?
1720
01:03:07,242 --> 01:03:08,733
I'm looking straight down at it.
1721
01:03:08,785 --> 01:03:10,196
How tall are you?
1722
01:03:11,955 --> 01:03:15,164
Well, how tall do you think I am?
1723
01:03:24,175 --> 01:03:25,541
5'4"?
1724
01:03:25,593 --> 01:03:26,834
(both chuckle)
1725
01:03:26,886 --> 01:03:29,003
Listen, my teammates
usually aren't this mean.
1726
01:03:29,055 --> 01:03:30,671
Oh, no, no, no.
They're usually blonde
1727
01:03:30,724 --> 01:03:32,465
and skinny, and they don't drink carbs.
1728
01:03:32,517 --> 01:03:35,180
Uh, no, no way, okay?
I fuck with Hufflepuffs.
1729
01:03:36,146 --> 01:03:38,012
Hufflepuff, like Harry Potter?
1730
01:03:38,064 --> 01:03:41,148
Yeah. I mean, what are you, like a...
1731
01:03:42,652 --> 01:03:46,817
half-Slytherin, half-Ravenclaw, yeah?
1732
01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:50,115
That is exactly what I am.
1733
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:51,401
Yeah, you are.
1734
01:03:52,912 --> 01:03:54,198
(raucous cheering)
1735
01:03:54,247 --> 01:03:55,738
Oh, fuck. Okay, see,
1736
01:03:55,790 --> 01:03:58,430
I gotta go take care of them,
make sure they don't kill themselves.
1737
01:03:58,460 --> 01:03:59,603
But hey, you stay right here, yeah?
1738
01:03:59,627 --> 01:04:00,913
- Yeah.
- Okay, you don't move.
1739
01:04:00,962 --> 01:04:02,315
I'll come back a moment, okay.
Don't move.
1740
01:04:02,339 --> 01:04:03,607
- I'm not gonna move.
- Right? Don't move.
1741
01:04:03,631 --> 01:04:04,838
- I'm not gonna move.
- Yeah?
1742
01:04:04,883 --> 01:04:06,110
I feel like you're gonna move.
Don't move.
1743
01:04:06,134 --> 01:04:08,054
No, I'm not... You know what,
I'm not gonna move.
1744
01:04:08,094 --> 01:04:09,710
- Don't move.
- Okay.
1745
01:04:09,721 --> 01:04:11,963
♪ ♪
1746
01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:21,931
(crowd cheering)
1747
01:04:23,693 --> 01:04:26,777
♪ Don't hold back, I want to break free ♪
1748
01:04:26,821 --> 01:04:29,438
♪ God is singing through your body ♪
1749
01:04:29,449 --> 01:04:31,611
♪ And I'm carried by the sound ♪
1750
01:04:31,659 --> 01:04:33,321
(water splashing)
1751
01:04:34,245 --> 01:04:37,329
♪ Every drum, every single beat ♪
1752
01:04:37,374 --> 01:04:39,912
♪ They were born from your body ♪
1753
01:04:39,959 --> 01:04:42,372
♪ And I'm carried by the sound ♪
1754
01:04:44,839 --> 01:04:47,206
♪ Oh, ooh, love ♪
1755
01:04:47,258 --> 01:04:50,251
♪ They'll never break the shape we take ♪
1756
01:04:50,303 --> 01:04:51,384
(chuckles)
1757
01:04:51,429 --> 01:04:53,136
♪ Oh, ooh ♪
1758
01:04:53,139 --> 01:04:58,851
♪ Baby, let all them voices slip away ♪
1759
01:05:05,985 --> 01:05:09,194
♪ Don't look back, I want to break free ♪
1760
01:05:09,197 --> 01:05:11,234
♪ If you'll never see 'em coming ♪
1761
01:05:11,991 --> 01:05:14,654
♪ You'll never have to hide ♪
1762
01:05:16,079 --> 01:05:19,663
♪ Take my hand, take my everything ♪
1763
01:05:19,707 --> 01:05:22,620
♪ If we only got a moment ♪
1764
01:05:22,669 --> 01:05:25,207
♪ Give it to me now ♪
1765
01:05:25,213 --> 01:05:27,705
♪ Oh, ooh, love ♪
1766
01:05:27,715 --> 01:05:31,083
♪ They'll never break the shape we take ♪
1767
01:05:31,094 --> 01:05:33,677
♪ Oh, ooh ♪
1768
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:40,177
♪ Baby, let all them voices slip away ♪
1769
01:05:42,814 --> 01:05:46,307
♪ No caressing, no caressing ♪
1770
01:05:46,359 --> 01:05:47,975
♪ No caressing... ♪
1771
01:05:48,069 --> 01:05:50,607
(cheering)
1772
01:05:50,613 --> 01:05:52,400
♪ Oh, ooh, love ♪
1773
01:05:52,449 --> 01:05:55,863
♪ They'll never break the shape we take ♪
1774
01:05:55,869 --> 01:05:59,408
♪ Oh, ooh, no, love ♪
1775
01:05:59,456 --> 01:06:02,745
♪ They'll never break the shape we take ♪
1776
01:06:02,750 --> 01:06:05,288
♪ Oh, ooh ♪
1777
01:06:05,420 --> 01:06:11,212
♪ Baby, let all them voices slip away ♪
1778
01:06:33,448 --> 01:06:36,236
♪ ♪
1779
01:06:57,138 --> 01:06:59,926
(indistinct chatter)
1780
01:07:10,109 --> 01:07:13,443
(panting)
1781
01:08:03,997 --> 01:08:05,329
Oh, my god, there you are.
1782
01:08:05,331 --> 01:08:06,642
How's it going?
Did you find Ryan?
1783
01:08:06,666 --> 01:08:08,394
Did you guys go in the pool?
What's going on?
1784
01:08:08,418 --> 01:08:09,454
Molly...
1785
01:08:09,502 --> 01:08:12,231
Things are going so well over here.
Like, really, really, really well.
1786
01:08:12,255 --> 01:08:13,917
I'm being so mean to him,
but it's working.
1787
01:08:13,923 --> 01:08:15,985
We talked about Harry Potter.
He knows I'm a Slytherin.
1788
01:08:16,009 --> 01:08:17,945
- He seems to like it.
- I think we should go home.
1789
01:08:17,969 --> 01:08:20,086
Wait, what? No.
Ju-just dry off.
1790
01:08:20,138 --> 01:08:22,095
No, I think we need to leave.
Come on, let's go.
1791
01:08:22,098 --> 01:08:24,636
No, are you nuts?
No, he... Nick is fully...
1792
01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:26,383
- No.
- He's fully flirting with me.
1793
01:08:26,436 --> 01:08:27,677
This actually might happen.
1794
01:08:27,729 --> 01:08:29,061
Listen to me,
this actually might happen.
1795
01:08:29,063 --> 01:08:31,125
No, no, Molly, please, I'm asking you.
Let's just go.
1796
01:08:31,149 --> 01:08:32,435
Ame, just go find Ryan.
It'll be great.
1797
01:08:32,442 --> 01:08:33,649
Malala!
1798
01:08:35,153 --> 01:08:36,153
Amy, no.
1799
01:08:38,573 --> 01:08:40,064
- Are you kidding?
- No, I'm...
1800
01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:42,199
I've done whatever you wanted all night.
1801
01:08:42,243 --> 01:08:44,075
And I'm calling Malala, so come with me.
1802
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:47,080
No, I'm not leaving just because
you're doing the thing that you always do.
1803
01:08:48,833 --> 01:08:50,324
What is that supposed to mean?
1804
01:08:50,376 --> 01:08:53,540
Just, you... you talk a big game
1805
01:08:53,588 --> 01:08:55,524
and then you give up
just when things get uncomfortable.
1806
01:08:55,548 --> 01:08:56,709
Like, you jumped in the pool,
1807
01:08:56,716 --> 01:08:58,503
and now you're sad
that you're wet? Like...
1808
01:08:58,551 --> 01:09:00,588
That's bullshit, Moll.
That's bullshit.
1809
01:09:00,637 --> 01:09:03,073
If I didn't drag you to do things, Amy,
you just wouldn't do them.
1810
01:09:03,097 --> 01:09:04,633
(stammers) You don't drag me,
1811
01:09:04,682 --> 01:09:07,641
you force me to do whatever you wanna do.
1812
01:09:07,685 --> 01:09:08,892
What does that even mean?
1813
01:09:08,936 --> 01:09:12,179
You decide what we do and when we do it,
1814
01:09:12,231 --> 01:09:13,792
and that we always have
to do it together all the time.
1815
01:09:13,816 --> 01:09:15,023
Yeah, I have to decide
1816
01:09:15,068 --> 01:09:16,809
because you literally decide nothing.
1817
01:09:16,819 --> 01:09:18,797
Like, I do all the heavy lifting
in our friendship.
1818
01:09:18,821 --> 01:09:21,279
- You never take charge.
- I take charge all the time!
1819
01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:24,408
You never take charge.
I always have to push you.
1820
01:09:24,452 --> 01:09:25,988
Without me, you wouldn't do anything.
1821
01:09:25,995 --> 01:09:27,987
I'm going to Africa without you.
1822
01:09:28,039 --> 01:09:29,621
Yeah, I encouraged your summer abroad.
1823
01:09:29,666 --> 01:09:31,623
I'm not going for the summer.
1824
01:09:32,418 --> 01:09:34,125
I'm going for the entire year.
1825
01:09:37,048 --> 01:09:38,048
What?
1826
01:09:40,468 --> 01:09:41,800
I'm taking a gap year.
1827
01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:44,424
I deferred Columbia until next fall.
1828
01:09:45,515 --> 01:09:47,677
- When did you decide that?
- When I applied.
1829
01:09:49,686 --> 01:09:52,303
In January?
You've been lying to me since January?
1830
01:09:52,355 --> 01:09:53,749
Yeah, because I knew if I told you,
1831
01:09:53,773 --> 01:09:55,389
you'd bully me into staying.
1832
01:09:55,441 --> 01:09:57,683
So, all our schedules are
gonna be off now.
1833
01:09:57,735 --> 01:09:59,101
We're not gonna graduate together,
1834
01:09:59,153 --> 01:10:00,964
we're not gonna go
on a post-college trip together,
1835
01:10:00,988 --> 01:10:03,196
We're not gonna move to DC together?
Our whole plan...
1836
01:10:03,241 --> 01:10:05,858
That was your plan!
That was never my plan.
1837
01:10:05,910 --> 01:10:07,867
- It's always your plan, Moll.
- I can't believe you.
1838
01:10:07,870 --> 01:10:09,710
You think that going to Africa makes
you tough,
1839
01:10:09,747 --> 01:10:12,114
and you weren't even fucking brave enough
to tell me about it!
1840
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,661
You're a fucking coward, Amy!
1841
01:10:13,710 --> 01:10:14,951
You're selfish and mean!
1842
01:10:15,002 --> 01:10:16,083
You're a bad friend!
1843
01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:17,828
You're a fucking bad friend...
1844
01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:21,123
(inaudible shouting)
1845
01:10:57,462 --> 01:10:59,829
(breathing heavily)
1846
01:11:03,676 --> 01:11:04,792
(sniffles)
1847
01:11:07,054 --> 01:11:08,054
HOPE: What the fuck?
1848
01:11:10,433 --> 01:11:11,890
I locked that.
1849
01:11:16,606 --> 01:11:18,063
Well, I guess you didn't.
1850
01:11:19,108 --> 01:11:21,771
What's wrong with you?
Fight with your wife?
1851
01:11:21,861 --> 01:11:25,320
Can you please just leave me alone?
1852
01:11:25,406 --> 01:11:26,817
Why are you even at a party?
1853
01:11:26,908 --> 01:11:28,444
Shouldn't you be, like, marching
1854
01:11:28,451 --> 01:11:30,158
in some meaningless protest somewhere
1855
01:11:30,161 --> 01:11:33,029
or, I don't know,
in your bed doing homework?
1856
01:11:33,039 --> 01:11:34,246
You don't even know me.
1857
01:11:34,332 --> 01:11:35,539
Pretty sure I do.
1858
01:11:35,541 --> 01:11:37,954
No. You're just one of those people
1859
01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:39,246
who claims they're honest
1860
01:11:39,253 --> 01:11:40,915
or calling people on their shit
1861
01:11:40,922 --> 01:11:42,504
when you're really just mean.
1862
01:11:45,426 --> 01:11:46,667
Wow.
1863
01:11:48,179 --> 01:11:49,636
Wow, I take it back.
1864
01:11:54,143 --> 01:11:56,851
You are a badass...
1865
01:11:57,605 --> 01:11:59,392
who takes no prisoners...
1866
01:12:01,234 --> 01:12:04,727
and cries in the bathroom at parties.
1867
01:12:10,368 --> 01:12:11,734
Why are you so cruel?
1868
01:12:13,246 --> 01:12:15,112
I just don't like meek people.
1869
01:12:16,624 --> 01:12:17,740
And you...
1870
01:12:18,793 --> 01:12:21,877
you're like Molly's little sidekick bitch.
1871
01:12:21,921 --> 01:12:23,332
Well, you're just a basic hot girl
1872
01:12:23,339 --> 01:12:25,001
who's gonna peak in high school.
1873
01:12:27,051 --> 01:12:28,462
(breathes shakily)
1874
01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:34,349
(chuckles)
1875
01:12:40,565 --> 01:12:43,148
(indistinct chatter)
1876
01:12:54,954 --> 01:12:56,320
When did you get here?
1877
01:12:57,415 --> 01:12:58,781
A while ago.
1878
01:12:58,833 --> 01:13:02,497
See Amy? She fucking freaked out at me.
I don't know what's wrong with her.
1879
01:13:02,545 --> 01:13:05,379
Do people really think
I had sex with a prostitute?
1880
01:13:08,134 --> 01:13:09,250
You didn't?
1881
01:13:09,302 --> 01:13:10,302
No.
1882
01:13:11,220 --> 01:13:12,552
Of course not. I...
1883
01:13:14,515 --> 01:13:16,256
I haven't slept with anybody.
1884
01:13:20,146 --> 01:13:22,809
No one in this entire school
knows me at all.
1885
01:13:25,818 --> 01:13:29,732
- Except Gigi.
- I'm a golden starfish!
1886
01:13:31,866 --> 01:13:34,108
Gigi, the girl who jumped off your boat
1887
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:36,618
and gave you a prison tat
while you were sleeping?
1888
01:13:36,662 --> 01:13:37,948
Oh, that wasn't about me.
1889
01:13:39,290 --> 01:13:41,828
She's a sad person, you know?
1890
01:13:41,876 --> 01:13:43,993
And yeah, she may be a little nuts but...
1891
01:13:46,047 --> 01:13:47,913
she's the most loyal person I've ever met.
1892
01:13:48,799 --> 01:13:50,461
I mean, she once tried to shiv our mailman
1893
01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:52,209
because she thought he laughed at me.
1894
01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:55,550
Turns out, he wasn't.
I mean, he wasn't laughing at me at all,
1895
01:13:55,598 --> 01:13:58,557
he was just looking
at a meme on his phone.
1896
01:13:58,601 --> 01:13:59,967
Plus, not everyone's lucky enough
1897
01:14:00,019 --> 01:14:01,760
to find someone like you and Amy.
1898
01:14:01,812 --> 01:14:03,144
I'm just doing my best,
1899
01:14:03,189 --> 01:14:04,305
so I can get out of here...
1900
01:14:05,191 --> 01:14:07,808
and find some people who are into
the same weird shit I'm into.
1901
01:14:09,028 --> 01:14:10,894
Not, like, sex stuff.
I mean, like, you know...
1902
01:14:12,657 --> 01:14:14,193
airplanes and musicals.
1903
01:14:14,241 --> 01:14:15,698
What?
1904
01:14:16,744 --> 01:14:18,406
I wanna design fucking airplanes.
1905
01:14:19,205 --> 01:14:20,616
Yeah. Get rich off that,
1906
01:14:20,623 --> 01:14:22,351
then use the cash
to produce some new musicals.
1907
01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:24,186
Enough with the revivals already.
It's total bullshit.
1908
01:14:24,210 --> 01:14:27,374
Audiences deserve
something original, I think.
1909
01:14:28,547 --> 01:14:29,833
I don't know.
1910
01:14:30,549 --> 01:14:33,838
I should probably go make sure that's not
an actual dead man's float.
1911
01:14:37,390 --> 01:14:38,881
Well, see you at graduation, Molly.
1912
01:14:43,229 --> 01:14:45,266
♪ ♪
1913
01:14:56,033 --> 01:14:57,695
- (Hope chuckles)
- Whoa.
1914
01:15:01,706 --> 01:15:04,665
- Are you okay?
- Um... Yeah, sorry, just...
1915
01:15:06,043 --> 01:15:07,534
Just got a little dizzy
for a second there.
1916
01:15:07,545 --> 01:15:09,707
- Um...
- We can stop if you want.
1917
01:15:09,714 --> 01:15:11,922
No. We are not stopping.
1918
01:15:11,924 --> 01:15:13,085
Okay.
1919
01:15:13,092 --> 01:15:14,799
♪ 'Cause we aiming for the stars ♪
1920
01:15:14,844 --> 01:15:16,676
♪ With a point and hollow ♪
1921
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:21,097
♪ I'm feeling these songs... ♪
1922
01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:22,307
HOPE: (giggles) Sorry.
1923
01:15:25,896 --> 01:15:28,559
♪ I started this job
selling rocks and arrows... ♪
1924
01:15:28,566 --> 01:15:30,432
- AMY: Oh, sorry.
- (Hope chuckles)
1925
01:15:30,484 --> 01:15:31,484
AMY: Whoa.
1926
01:15:31,485 --> 01:15:32,692
- HOPE: Are you okay?
- Yeah.
1927
01:15:32,695 --> 01:15:34,561
- HOPE: Oh, my god.
- Ugh.
1928
01:15:34,655 --> 01:15:36,988
(chuckles)
1929
01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:41,698
♪ Welcome to the days
of the broke and shallow... ♪
1930
01:15:45,041 --> 01:15:46,577
(chuckles)
1931
01:15:49,712 --> 01:15:53,080
I should probably take off mine, too.
1932
01:15:53,174 --> 01:15:54,290
Yeah.
1933
01:15:55,634 --> 01:15:57,000
(shoe clatters)
1934
01:15:57,011 --> 01:15:58,923
♪ The minute I know ♪
1935
01:16:00,639 --> 01:16:04,974
♪ The time we spent in came corrected... ♪
1936
01:16:05,019 --> 01:16:06,100
It's a nice dress.
1937
01:16:06,145 --> 01:16:07,602
AMY: It's all she had.
1938
01:16:09,899 --> 01:16:11,060
Miss Fine.
1939
01:16:11,108 --> 01:16:13,191
(giggles) Oh, my god.
Of course.
1940
01:16:21,911 --> 01:16:26,030
♪ Matter over mind if we're being honest ♪
1941
01:16:28,125 --> 01:16:29,787
♪ But you wander through your thoughts ♪
1942
01:16:29,835 --> 01:16:31,872
♪ Like a broken promise ♪
1943
01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:36,380
♪ In it for the monetary growth... ♪
1944
01:16:36,425 --> 01:16:37,882
(gasping)
1945
01:16:38,969 --> 01:16:40,585
Um...
1946
01:16:40,596 --> 01:16:43,509
(stammers) How is that for you?
1947
01:16:43,516 --> 01:16:45,223
Um, it's okay.
1948
01:16:46,102 --> 01:16:48,310
Is-is there really
another way you would prefer,
1949
01:16:48,312 --> 01:16:50,304
- or is this, like...
- (both stammer)
1950
01:16:50,314 --> 01:16:51,430
Um...
1951
01:16:52,733 --> 01:16:54,816
I don't think that's the hole
you think it is.
1952
01:16:55,903 --> 01:16:57,269
- Oh, my god.
- No, it's okay.
1953
01:16:57,279 --> 01:16:59,771
- Oh, my god. I'm so sorry.
- No, it's okay.
1954
01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:01,406
Oh, my god. I just...
1955
01:17:01,408 --> 01:17:03,365
I'm not used to approaching it
from that angle
1956
01:17:03,410 --> 01:17:04,742
and my geometry was off, and...
1957
01:17:04,787 --> 01:17:06,119
Seriously, don't worry about it.
1958
01:17:06,205 --> 01:17:07,205
I'm sorry.
1959
01:17:08,457 --> 01:17:09,993
(muffled grunt)
1960
01:17:12,294 --> 01:17:14,786
(gagging)
1961
01:17:19,385 --> 01:17:21,502
Are... are you good?
1962
01:17:22,221 --> 01:17:23,928
- (retching)
- (gasps)
1963
01:17:23,973 --> 01:17:25,885
Oh, my god. What the...
1964
01:17:25,891 --> 01:17:28,133
What the fuck? Oh!
1965
01:17:28,144 --> 01:17:30,306
- I am so sorry.
- What the fuck?
1966
01:17:30,312 --> 01:17:32,304
AMY: Oh, my god, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
1967
01:17:32,356 --> 01:17:34,063
- HOPE: Ew!
- Um...
1968
01:17:34,066 --> 01:17:35,102
Ar-are you okay?
1969
01:17:35,151 --> 01:17:37,017
- (shower running)
- Amy, just go.
1970
01:17:38,696 --> 01:17:40,107
Please go.
1971
01:17:41,866 --> 01:17:43,198
Please fucking leave.
1972
01:17:43,200 --> 01:17:44,691
Sorry, I'm going as fast as I can.
1973
01:17:44,702 --> 01:17:45,738
HOPE: Go!
1974
01:17:52,376 --> 01:17:57,212
♪ I'm a fool for that shake
in your thighs ♪
1975
01:17:57,214 --> 01:18:02,881
♪ I'm a fool for that sound
in your sighs ♪
1976
01:18:02,928 --> 01:18:06,922
♪ I'm a fool for your belly ♪
1977
01:18:07,725 --> 01:18:12,436
♪ I'm a fool for your love ♪
1978
01:18:12,479 --> 01:18:15,062
♪ I want to make this play ♪
1979
01:18:15,065 --> 01:18:17,557
♪ Oh, I know you're faded ♪
1980
01:18:17,610 --> 01:18:19,943
♪ Hmm, but stay ♪
1981
01:18:20,029 --> 01:18:22,988
♪ Don't close your hands ♪
1982
01:18:23,032 --> 01:18:25,695
♪ I want to make this play ♪
1983
01:18:25,701 --> 01:18:27,693
♪ Oh, I know you're faded... ♪
1984
01:18:27,745 --> 01:18:29,452
Hey, have you guys seen Amy?
1985
01:18:29,455 --> 01:18:31,071
- GIRL 1: No.
- GIRL 2: No.
1986
01:18:31,832 --> 01:18:33,198
(police siren chirps)
1987
01:18:34,084 --> 01:18:36,201
What? Wait.
1988
01:18:36,212 --> 01:18:37,212
Whoa!
1989
01:18:38,297 --> 01:18:40,710
- Amy! Amy! Amy!
- (girl shushing)
1990
01:18:40,758 --> 01:18:42,920
ROB: We're fucking sitting ducks.
1991
01:18:42,968 --> 01:18:44,696
They're gonna come in here.
They're gonna find us.
1992
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:46,360
ALISON (whispers): Shut the fuck up, Rob.
1993
01:18:52,394 --> 01:18:54,351
(breathes deeply)
1994
01:18:54,355 --> 01:18:55,971
I am not a coward.
1995
01:18:59,401 --> 01:19:00,482
All right, focus up.
1996
01:19:01,487 --> 01:19:04,355
Wait for my signal.
I'm gonna create a diversion.
1997
01:19:05,491 --> 01:19:06,777
(sighs)
1998
01:19:07,826 --> 01:19:08,942
What?
1999
01:19:10,412 --> 01:19:11,869
(Amy grunts)
2000
01:19:11,956 --> 01:19:14,573
♪ ♪
2001
01:19:37,273 --> 01:19:38,354
No.
2002
01:19:39,692 --> 01:19:40,773
Really?
2003
01:19:43,404 --> 01:19:46,397
♪ Oh baby ♪
2004
01:19:49,285 --> 01:19:52,528
♪ Oh baby ♪
2005
01:19:54,248 --> 01:19:57,741
♪ You're having a bad dream ♪
2006
01:19:59,378 --> 01:20:01,620
♪ Here in my arms ♪
2007
01:20:07,886 --> 01:20:09,218
You know this is why people say
2008
01:20:09,263 --> 01:20:11,630
I gave guys "roadside assistance," right?
2009
01:20:13,142 --> 01:20:15,179
I gave them a ride home, that's all.
2010
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:21,418
Okay, that's not true.
I blew them.
2011
01:20:21,442 --> 01:20:23,058
But it's not like they ran out of gas
2012
01:20:23,110 --> 01:20:25,568
and I showed up to suck their dick
while they waited for help.
2013
01:20:25,612 --> 01:20:27,194
We hooked up in their car.
2014
01:20:27,239 --> 01:20:28,571
It makes sense to hook up in a car.
2015
01:20:28,574 --> 01:20:30,987
I'm not gonna, like,
suck a dick at my own home
2016
01:20:31,035 --> 01:20:33,368
where my father can walk in
at any moment.
2017
01:20:33,412 --> 01:20:36,155
Also, I wanna enjoy it.
Fucking sue me.
2018
01:20:37,541 --> 01:20:38,827
That makes a lot of sense.
2019
01:20:47,092 --> 01:20:48,549
You know
what the worst part is?
2020
01:20:50,137 --> 01:20:52,174
All the fucking girls call me that, too.
2021
01:20:55,351 --> 01:20:58,435
I knew, like, Ben and Max
and Dick Splinter
2022
01:20:58,479 --> 01:20:59,970
would say stupid shit.
2023
01:21:04,318 --> 01:21:07,482
I just...
I didn't think the girls would, too.
2024
01:21:09,865 --> 01:21:11,652
Amy never called you that.
2025
01:21:14,620 --> 01:21:16,828
I'm sorry.
I'm genuinely sorry.
2026
01:21:19,375 --> 01:21:22,868
Just, like, please don't call me
"Triple A" at Yale next year.
2027
01:21:24,171 --> 01:21:26,379
I just want people to know
my real name.
2028
01:21:26,423 --> 01:21:29,257
Of course, Annabel.
2029
01:21:29,301 --> 01:21:31,293
Fuck... No!
Not right now.
2030
01:21:31,345 --> 01:21:32,756
I'm sorry. That was bad.
2031
01:21:32,805 --> 01:21:34,616
- That wasn't my best.
- Come on. Jesus Christ.
2032
01:21:34,640 --> 01:21:35,847
That was embarrassing for me.
2033
01:21:35,891 --> 01:21:37,411
- I'm sorry for that, too.
- (chuckles)
2034
01:21:41,063 --> 01:21:42,850
Wait, where the fuck do you live?
2035
01:21:47,152 --> 01:21:48,233
(key clatters)
2036
01:21:50,280 --> 01:21:51,316
(sighs)
2037
01:21:52,116 --> 01:21:56,360
(Hail to the Chief playing as ringtone)
2038
01:21:56,453 --> 01:21:57,910
(phone buzzes)
2039
01:22:03,001 --> 01:22:04,867
(ringtone continues playing)
2040
01:22:10,259 --> 01:22:11,375
Fuck!
2041
01:22:16,765 --> 01:22:17,846
What?
2042
01:22:22,604 --> 01:22:24,971
AMY: All right. Well, just so you know,
I know my rights.
2043
01:22:24,982 --> 01:22:26,098
Oh, my god.
2044
01:22:26,150 --> 01:22:27,766
There are more prisons than colleges
2045
01:22:27,776 --> 01:22:28,857
in the United States.
2046
01:22:28,861 --> 01:22:30,130
- Did you know that?
- OFFICER: Is that right?
2047
01:22:30,154 --> 01:22:31,816
AMY: And it costs $71,000
2048
01:22:31,822 --> 01:22:33,529
to house an inmate in California.
2049
01:22:33,532 --> 01:22:35,319
- That's more than Harvard.
- OFFICER: Yeah.
2050
01:22:35,367 --> 01:22:37,700
AMY: Well, this seems excessive. Shotgun.
2051
01:22:37,703 --> 01:22:39,490
Just kidding.
I don't have one.
2052
01:22:39,538 --> 01:22:41,700
♪ ♪
2053
01:23:03,353 --> 01:23:04,514
(clears throat)
2054
01:23:04,605 --> 01:23:07,222
Oh, I'm actually here for someone else.
I'm so sorry.
2055
01:23:07,232 --> 01:23:08,348
My mistake. My mistake.
2056
01:23:08,358 --> 01:23:09,461
- My mistake.
- AMY: Oh, my god.
2057
01:23:09,485 --> 01:23:10,851
(laughing)
2058
01:23:10,861 --> 01:23:12,227
Fuck you, dude.
2059
01:23:12,321 --> 01:23:14,187
Dude, you're in full-on jail. (chuckles)
2060
01:23:15,991 --> 01:23:17,323
Yeah, I know.
2061
01:23:17,367 --> 01:23:19,154
I'm so sorry.
2062
01:23:20,162 --> 01:23:21,824
(sighs) I mean, it's okay.
2063
01:23:21,830 --> 01:23:23,742
I'm gonna have to pay a fine
2064
01:23:23,749 --> 01:23:25,101
and go before the judge,
but we both know...
2065
01:23:25,125 --> 01:23:26,707
No, I'm sorry.
2066
01:23:27,836 --> 01:23:29,327
I know women apologize too much,
2067
01:23:29,338 --> 01:23:31,295
but in this case,
I have so much to be sorry for.
2068
01:23:31,298 --> 01:23:32,379
I was so selfish.
2069
01:23:32,466 --> 01:23:33,707
I-I was being a coward.
2070
01:23:33,800 --> 01:23:34,961
You called Malala.
2071
01:23:35,052 --> 01:23:36,509
I lied to you, Moll.
2072
01:23:36,595 --> 01:23:37,927
You were trying to save me
from seeing Nick rub
2073
01:23:37,930 --> 01:23:40,172
his boner all up against Ryan.
2074
01:23:40,224 --> 01:23:42,056
Oh, my god,
can you believe that, by the way?
2075
01:23:42,100 --> 01:23:43,636
No. Honestly? No.
2076
01:23:43,644 --> 01:23:45,385
I would've guessed that Nick
hooked up with Theo
2077
01:23:45,395 --> 01:23:47,123
before I would have guessed
he hooked up with Ryan.
2078
01:23:47,147 --> 01:23:49,764
Nick and Theo do have great chemistry.
2079
01:23:49,816 --> 01:23:52,479
Divine. I mean, it's palpable. (chuckles)
2080
01:23:54,321 --> 01:23:57,234
I'm sorry I'm so controlling.
2081
01:23:58,617 --> 01:24:01,280
I just can't imagine my life without you.
2082
01:24:05,082 --> 01:24:06,744
You are the motherfucker who got arrested
2083
01:24:06,792 --> 01:24:08,283
the night before graduation.
2084
01:24:08,377 --> 01:24:10,164
Oh, my god! Graduation.
2085
01:24:10,170 --> 01:24:12,537
Molly, what time is it?
You have to go.
2086
01:24:12,631 --> 01:24:13,838
Yeah, why do you think I'm here?
2087
01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:14,956
You're coming with me.
2088
01:24:14,967 --> 01:24:16,924
Dude, no. I am screwed.
I can't leave.
2089
01:24:17,010 --> 01:24:18,717
- You have to go.
- Amy.
2090
01:24:18,720 --> 01:24:20,552
I am not graduating without you.
2091
01:24:20,556 --> 01:24:23,344
So, either I get arrested
and I join you in there
2092
01:24:23,350 --> 01:24:24,841
or we go together.
2093
01:24:24,893 --> 01:24:26,134
How?
2094
01:24:28,689 --> 01:24:30,897
We're gonna trade
some information,
2095
01:24:31,733 --> 01:24:33,395
because we have seen this man.
2096
01:24:33,402 --> 01:24:34,643
AMY: What?
2097
01:24:34,736 --> 01:24:37,103
- AMY: Is that Jared's car?
- MOLLY: I'll explain later.
2098
01:24:37,114 --> 01:24:38,925
- AMY: Am I driving?
- Of course you're driving.
2099
01:24:38,949 --> 01:24:40,235
- AMY: Need this?
- No, that was my fault!
2100
01:24:40,242 --> 01:24:41,323
AMY: Go!
2101
01:24:41,410 --> 01:24:43,743
Okay, Waze says 19 minutes.
We're doing it in seven.
2102
01:24:43,787 --> 01:24:45,119
Let's fuckin' do this.
2103
01:24:46,540 --> 01:24:47,997
(engine idling)
2104
01:24:49,751 --> 01:24:51,993
(engine revving)
2105
01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:53,953
♪ Picture this
I'm a bag of dicks ♪
2106
01:24:53,964 --> 01:24:55,830
♪ Put me to your lips
I am sick ♪
2107
01:24:55,841 --> 01:24:57,457
♪ I will punch a baby bear ♪
2108
01:24:57,467 --> 01:24:58,878
♪ In his shit
give me lip... ♪
2109
01:24:58,927 --> 01:25:01,089
(piano playing classical music)
2110
01:25:03,849 --> 01:25:05,260
Uh...
2111
01:25:05,267 --> 01:25:06,947
Hey, guys, let's go ahead and take a seat.
2112
01:25:08,645 --> 01:25:10,056
Stop.
2113
01:25:15,319 --> 01:25:16,560
(purrs)
2114
01:25:16,570 --> 01:25:17,811
Ooh.
2115
01:25:17,821 --> 01:25:18,982
Hey, Evelyn.
2116
01:25:19,865 --> 01:25:22,448
Um... I just wanted to say...
2117
01:25:23,201 --> 01:25:24,942
(purrs) have a great summer.
2118
01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:27,320
That's what the kids are doing,
right? (purrs)
2119
01:25:27,331 --> 01:25:29,197
Have a great... (purrs)
2120
01:25:29,207 --> 01:25:32,871
All right. Cool.
Cool, cool, cool. Sickening.
2121
01:25:32,919 --> 01:25:34,706
THEO: Morning, my queen.
2122
01:25:34,713 --> 01:25:35,794
Hi.
2123
01:25:35,839 --> 01:25:37,796
So, last night was amazing.
2124
01:25:37,883 --> 01:25:40,421
Can I see you again?
2125
01:25:43,764 --> 01:25:45,300
Mmm...
2126
01:25:45,307 --> 01:25:46,969
Good luck at Google next year, okay.
2127
01:25:47,059 --> 01:25:48,391
Okay.
2128
01:25:48,435 --> 01:25:49,435
Bye.
2129
01:25:50,687 --> 01:25:51,687
Bye.
2130
01:25:53,815 --> 01:25:55,226
Did you fuck Miss Fine?
2131
01:25:55,317 --> 01:25:58,481
(tires screeching)
2132
01:25:58,528 --> 01:26:00,360
♪...little wench
I'm unmentionably fresh ♪
2133
01:26:00,405 --> 01:26:01,987
♪ I'm a mensch, get correct ♪
2134
01:26:02,032 --> 01:26:03,568
♪ I will walk into a court ♪
2135
01:26:03,575 --> 01:26:04,611
♪ While erect,
screaming "Yes... ♪
2136
01:26:04,618 --> 01:26:06,234
(inaudible)
2137
01:26:06,286 --> 01:26:08,073
Ha-has anybody seen, uh, Molly?
2138
01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:11,323
'Cause we gotta get started.
She kicks it off. Huh? Nobody?
2139
01:26:11,333 --> 01:26:13,700
'Cause I haven't seen her
either since yesterday
2140
01:26:13,710 --> 01:26:14,951
when we were at school, all of us.
2141
01:26:14,961 --> 01:26:16,497
We were at school together.
2142
01:26:16,546 --> 01:26:17,753
So, Molly actually warned me
she might be a little late
2143
01:26:17,756 --> 01:26:19,167
and tapped me to start her speech.
2144
01:26:19,257 --> 01:26:20,610
Wait, wait, Molly Davidson's gonna be late
2145
01:26:20,634 --> 01:26:21,592
- to graduation?
- Yeah.
2146
01:26:21,593 --> 01:26:22,612
Okay, that doesn't sound like her.
2147
01:26:22,636 --> 01:26:24,343
Right. Well, uh,
2148
01:26:24,346 --> 01:26:26,178
she also asked me to remind you that...
2149
01:26:26,181 --> 01:26:27,342
um...
2150
01:26:28,725 --> 01:26:30,136
um... I got it. Uh...
2151
01:26:30,143 --> 01:26:31,850
"this sort of thing happens all the time
2152
01:26:31,853 --> 01:26:33,139
"on the senate floor,
2153
01:26:33,146 --> 01:26:34,933
"and if a senator isn't
present for a vote..."
2154
01:26:34,940 --> 01:26:36,626
- PRINCIPAL BROWN: Okay. Okay.
- "...a proxy..."
2155
01:26:36,650 --> 01:26:38,127
Great. Okay, that does sound like her.
2156
01:26:38,151 --> 01:26:39,733
"...for the vote to take place..."
2157
01:26:39,736 --> 01:26:41,798
- "...in his or her absence."
- I got it. Okay, so...
2158
01:26:41,822 --> 01:26:42,822
Okay, so she tapped you?
2159
01:26:42,906 --> 01:26:44,317
- Tapped me.
- Okay.
2160
01:26:45,075 --> 01:26:46,782
Yeah, fuck it.
I approve. You're up.
2161
01:26:46,785 --> 01:26:48,026
- You're gonna kick it off.
- Okay.
2162
01:26:48,036 --> 01:26:50,699
- (laughing) Oh.
- Okay. There he goes.
2163
01:26:50,706 --> 01:26:51,822
Yeah, yeah.
Shantay, you stay, honey!
2164
01:26:51,832 --> 01:26:52,913
Oh, Jared!
2165
01:26:52,958 --> 01:26:55,325
- GEORGE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- (cheering and applauding)
2166
01:26:55,377 --> 01:26:56,377
ALAN: Look at you.
2167
01:27:02,217 --> 01:27:03,458
(mic feedback squeals)
2168
01:27:05,595 --> 01:27:06,756
JARED: Good morning.
2169
01:27:06,805 --> 01:27:07,886
Good morning.
2170
01:27:10,517 --> 01:27:11,883
"I'm Molly Davidson."
2171
01:27:11,935 --> 01:27:12,935
(exclaims quizzically)
2172
01:27:13,019 --> 01:27:16,183
♪ Hey, you wanna hear a good joke? ♪
2173
01:27:16,231 --> 01:27:18,848
♪ Nobody speak,
nobody get choked ♪
2174
01:27:24,072 --> 01:27:25,654
JARED: "I am a woman.
2175
01:27:25,657 --> 01:27:27,774
- I am a powerful woman."
- BOY: My boy!
2176
01:27:27,826 --> 01:27:29,317
"And I'm ready to take the fists
2177
01:27:29,369 --> 01:27:31,952
"of my femininity to the status quo.
2178
01:27:31,997 --> 01:27:36,332
straight white man, your time is..."
2179
01:27:36,418 --> 01:27:37,418
Okay.
2180
01:27:38,462 --> 01:27:39,998
(students exclaim)
2181
01:27:49,931 --> 01:27:54,517
Oh, my god.
My car is fucked up.
2182
01:27:55,187 --> 01:27:57,474
(students cheering and applauding)
2183
01:28:05,030 --> 01:28:07,067
All right.
I'm gonna go take my seat.
2184
01:28:07,073 --> 01:28:08,405
MOLLY: Come on up. Come.
2185
01:28:08,492 --> 01:28:10,905
Look who made it!
2186
01:28:10,994 --> 01:28:12,405
- (students cheering)
- Whoo!
2187
01:28:12,496 --> 01:28:14,453
Amy!
2188
01:28:16,708 --> 01:28:18,825
Whoo!
2189
01:28:26,384 --> 01:28:27,591
(chuckles)
2190
01:28:29,638 --> 01:28:32,631
(students exclaiming and whooping)
2191
01:28:44,277 --> 01:28:45,484
Thank you.
2192
01:28:51,701 --> 01:28:55,365
Okay. Looks like Jared did
a pretty good job.
2193
01:28:55,413 --> 01:28:57,996
Yes, he did! Yes, he did.
2194
01:29:01,044 --> 01:29:02,044
MOLLY: I...
2195
01:29:05,924 --> 01:29:09,417
I was so... scared of you,
2196
01:29:09,427 --> 01:29:11,794
I felt like I had to prove
that I was better than you.
2197
01:29:12,556 --> 01:29:16,800
But really, I don't know
any more than you guys.
2198
01:29:16,852 --> 01:29:20,687
All I know is
that we have a lot more to learn.
2199
01:29:25,193 --> 01:29:26,559
'Cause this part's over...
2200
01:29:27,779 --> 01:29:29,111
and that's so sad.
2201
01:29:30,323 --> 01:29:32,235
It was great, wasn't it? (chuckles)
2202
01:29:34,578 --> 01:29:37,992
Things are never gonna be the same,
but it was perfect.
2203
01:29:41,334 --> 01:29:45,248
And I may not have before,
but I see you now.
2204
01:29:46,715 --> 01:29:49,378
And you're all pretty great. (chuckles)
2205
01:29:49,384 --> 01:29:52,172
- Don't let college fuck it up.
- (all cheering)
2206
01:29:52,178 --> 01:29:53,669
Congratulations, guys.
2207
01:29:55,348 --> 01:29:58,637
(whooping)
2208
01:30:05,400 --> 01:30:08,814
Okay, okay. (chuckles)
2209
01:30:08,862 --> 01:30:10,819
That went over,
2210
01:30:10,822 --> 01:30:13,064
but I will not be cutting down
my allotted time.
2211
01:30:13,074 --> 01:30:14,315
Gigi, hit the track.
2212
01:30:14,367 --> 01:30:18,577
- (snoring)
- (George vocalizing)
2213
01:30:18,580 --> 01:30:19,661
(singing) ♪ Crockett... ♪
2214
01:30:19,748 --> 01:30:21,309
- AMY: That's pretty good.
- Oh, you know what's good?
2215
01:30:21,333 --> 01:30:24,167
If you roll these,
and then you'll have more room.
2216
01:30:24,210 --> 01:30:26,167
AMY: Oh, probably not rolling, though...
2217
01:30:26,212 --> 01:30:28,065
- Well, why does it have to be...
- Charmaine: Oh! (gasps)
2218
01:30:28,089 --> 01:30:31,002
Look! Oh, god, you're bringing Lingling.
2219
01:30:31,051 --> 01:30:33,008
- AMY: Well...
- CHARMAINE: Oh, Lingling.
2220
01:30:33,803 --> 01:30:34,839
- AMY: Um...
- No.
2221
01:30:34,888 --> 01:30:36,220
Please be good to my Amy.
2222
01:30:36,264 --> 01:30:37,505
All right. I gotta pack up.
2223
01:30:37,557 --> 01:30:39,117
Make her feel like she's not so lonely.
2224
01:30:39,142 --> 01:30:40,724
Make her feel good.
2225
01:30:40,769 --> 01:30:42,038
AMY: I gotta put that in the old suitcase.
2226
01:30:42,062 --> 01:30:43,473
Amy, make it stop.
2227
01:30:43,521 --> 01:30:45,763
Please don't put your face on the face.
2228
01:30:45,815 --> 01:30:46,815
Make it stop.
2229
01:30:46,858 --> 01:30:48,019
- Not the nose.
- On the head.
2230
01:30:48,068 --> 01:30:49,253
- On the neck.
- MOLLY: Make it stop.
2231
01:30:49,277 --> 01:30:50,438
Hey, Amy, there's...
2232
01:30:50,487 --> 01:30:51,568
Look who she's bringing.
2233
01:30:51,613 --> 01:30:53,650
- AMY: Okay.
- Lingling?
2234
01:30:53,740 --> 01:30:56,699
- No. No. No... (gasps)
- Oh, let me get in there.
2235
01:31:01,831 --> 01:31:05,290
Uh... Amy, there's, uh,
someone here to see you.
2236
01:31:05,293 --> 01:31:06,374
- AMY: Hmm?
- Who?
2237
01:31:07,379 --> 01:31:08,415
What?
2238
01:31:09,381 --> 01:31:11,748
- Why is she here?
- Oh. Excuse me.
2239
01:31:12,717 --> 01:31:13,717
Amy!
2240
01:31:13,760 --> 01:31:15,752
Why is she here?
2241
01:31:25,605 --> 01:31:27,016
(chuckles)
2242
01:31:27,065 --> 01:31:29,478
- Hey.
- Hey.
2243
01:31:29,484 --> 01:31:31,851
I figured I'd bring back your clothes.
2244
01:31:31,903 --> 01:31:34,691
Oh. Thanks so much.
2245
01:31:34,739 --> 01:31:37,482
I don't usually leave my underwear
2246
01:31:37,492 --> 01:31:40,485
in places that aren't my room.
2247
01:31:41,371 --> 01:31:42,828
HOPE: Yeah, I figured.
2248
01:31:44,124 --> 01:31:45,160
So, um...
2249
01:31:46,751 --> 01:31:47,958
ho-how...
2250
01:31:48,795 --> 01:31:50,832
(stammers) Are you okay?
2251
01:31:51,673 --> 01:31:52,673
Yeah, I'm fine.
2252
01:31:54,592 --> 01:31:55,924
Are you okay?
2253
01:31:55,969 --> 01:31:57,505
Yeah, I...
2254
01:31:58,513 --> 01:32:01,301
You know, prison kinda changes you.
2255
01:32:01,349 --> 01:32:02,840
- Hmm.
- AMY: But, uh...
2256
01:32:02,892 --> 01:32:04,633
(Hope chuckles)
2257
01:32:04,686 --> 01:32:05,802
I'm fine.
2258
01:32:05,854 --> 01:32:07,846
Sorry, I just really don't know
2259
01:32:07,939 --> 01:32:09,771
what I'm doing with all that stuff yet.
2260
01:32:09,816 --> 01:32:14,777
Well, for someone who has
no idea what they're doing...
2261
01:32:16,906 --> 01:32:18,568
you kinda know what you're doing.
2262
01:32:20,368 --> 01:32:22,826
(chuckles) That's...
2263
01:32:24,039 --> 01:32:25,039
Ah.
2264
01:32:25,040 --> 01:32:26,827
Um, that's cool.
2265
01:32:26,875 --> 01:32:28,207
(mouthing)
2266
01:32:28,293 --> 01:32:32,253
(stammers) So, how is your summer going?
2267
01:32:33,381 --> 01:32:36,920
I mean, what are you doing
for the summertime?
2268
01:32:39,471 --> 01:32:41,554
Think I'm gonna backpack around for a bit.
2269
01:32:42,474 --> 01:32:43,760
- AMY: Really?
- Yeah.
2270
01:32:43,808 --> 01:32:45,595
- Where?
- I don't know.
2271
01:32:45,643 --> 01:32:48,602
Honestly, anywhere I can find
a couch to crash on.
2272
01:32:48,605 --> 01:32:51,518
I just, you know, wanna see
some stuff before college.
2273
01:32:52,317 --> 01:32:54,149
That's really cool. Me, too.
2274
01:32:54,194 --> 01:32:56,186
That's why I'm taking a gap year.
2275
01:32:56,237 --> 01:32:58,980
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
2276
01:32:59,783 --> 01:33:02,696
HOPE: All right, well, uh, have fun, nerd.
2277
01:33:11,252 --> 01:33:14,586
(stammers) Um, well, if you
ever end up in Botswana,
2278
01:33:15,632 --> 01:33:17,669
you would have a couch to crash on.
2279
01:33:17,717 --> 01:33:19,333
(chuckles) Okay.
2280
01:33:20,136 --> 01:33:23,004
Well, technically, it won't be my couch,
2281
01:33:23,056 --> 01:33:24,992
'cause I'll be staying with a family,
but I'm sure they'll be cool with it.
2282
01:33:25,016 --> 01:33:26,132
HOPE: Okay.
2283
01:33:26,142 --> 01:33:28,429
♪ ♪
2284
01:33:31,397 --> 01:33:32,763
(exhales deeply)
2285
01:33:35,568 --> 01:33:37,935
Yes! Yes!
2286
01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:40,563
Molly!
2287
01:33:40,615 --> 01:33:43,028
Amy, this thing drives like a cruise ship.
2288
01:33:43,827 --> 01:33:45,193
Well, it's yours now.
2289
01:33:46,162 --> 01:33:48,028
Take care of the old Volvo for me.
2290
01:33:48,081 --> 01:33:49,162
Oh, speaking of vulva,
2291
01:33:49,249 --> 01:33:51,366
remember when you missed Hope's,
2292
01:33:51,376 --> 01:33:53,176
and you just went
straight for that butt hole?
2293
01:33:53,211 --> 01:33:55,248
I said, I said once a day.
2294
01:33:55,338 --> 01:33:57,580
- Hey, I have to stock up...
- Once a day.
2295
01:33:57,632 --> 01:33:59,168
...because you're gonna be on a flight
2296
01:33:59,217 --> 01:34:01,334
for, like, 28 hours.
2297
01:34:01,344 --> 01:34:02,505
- So, I have to stock up.
- (Amy groans)
2298
01:34:02,512 --> 01:34:04,003
It's not my fault.
2299
01:34:05,098 --> 01:34:06,839
(both laughing)
2300
01:34:14,607 --> 01:34:16,418
Yeah, it feels weird
to be on this side of the car.
2301
01:34:16,442 --> 01:34:19,105
It's like everything's different.
2302
01:34:21,281 --> 01:34:23,489
Yeah, I can't believe
I'm not gonna see you tomorrow.
2303
01:34:23,533 --> 01:34:26,150
Call me on that weird
international flip phone, okay?
2304
01:34:26,202 --> 01:34:27,202
AMY: I will.
2305
01:34:28,246 --> 01:34:29,282
Okay.
2306
01:34:30,123 --> 01:34:31,330
- Bye. I love you.
- Bye.
2307
01:34:31,374 --> 01:34:32,660
Love you.
(chuckles)
2308
01:34:34,377 --> 01:34:36,243
- Bye.
- Go make those tampons, girl.
2309
01:34:36,254 --> 01:34:37,540
AMY: I will. I...
2310
01:34:38,548 --> 01:34:40,210
- Bye.
- Bye.
2311
01:34:41,342 --> 01:34:42,833
(car door opens)
2312
01:34:47,599 --> 01:34:49,966
- Oh, gotta get that bag.
- Yep. Gotta...
2313
01:34:49,976 --> 01:34:51,968
It's a long trip. (chuckles)
2314
01:34:51,978 --> 01:34:53,469
Go get 'em.
2315
01:34:54,689 --> 01:34:55,725
What's a year?
2316
01:34:57,400 --> 01:34:58,400
Okay.
2317
01:35:02,989 --> 01:35:07,825
♪ Whoa, my love ♪
2318
01:35:09,204 --> 01:35:12,163
♪ My darling ♪
2319
01:35:12,207 --> 01:35:17,999
♪ I've hungered for your touch ♪
2320
01:35:19,756 --> 01:35:26,756
♪ A long, lonely time ♪
2321
01:35:30,141 --> 01:35:33,634
♪ And time ♪
2322
01:35:33,645 --> 01:35:36,763
♪ Goes by ♪
2323
01:35:36,814 --> 01:35:39,978
♪ So slowly ♪
2324
01:35:40,026 --> 01:35:45,863
♪ And time can do so much... ♪
2325
01:35:47,492 --> 01:35:49,609
- Oh! Fuck!
- MOLLY: Fuck!
2326
01:35:49,661 --> 01:35:51,823
What the fuck is wrong with you?
2327
01:35:51,871 --> 01:35:54,409
- I was going through a thing.
- (whoops and laughs)
2328
01:35:54,499 --> 01:35:58,368
(stammers) I was going through
a whole fucking thing.
2329
01:35:58,419 --> 01:35:59,500
What the fuck?
2330
01:35:59,545 --> 01:36:01,081
I can be the last one on the plane.
2331
01:36:01,130 --> 01:36:02,211
What is wrong with you?
2332
01:36:02,257 --> 01:36:03,257
You wanna get pancakes?
2333
01:36:03,341 --> 01:36:05,833
Fuck, yeah, I do.
Fuck, yeah!
2334
01:36:05,885 --> 01:36:07,922
(hip-hop music playing)
2335
01:36:17,355 --> 01:36:20,473
♪ Get running, start pumping
your bunions, I'm coming ♪
2336
01:36:20,566 --> 01:36:22,182
♪ I'm the dumbest,
who flamethrow ♪
2337
01:36:22,193 --> 01:36:23,809
♪ Your function to Funyuns ♪
2338
01:36:23,820 --> 01:36:26,688
♪ Flame your crew quicker
than Trump fucks his youngest ♪
2339
01:36:26,739 --> 01:36:29,482
♪ Now face the flame, fuckers,
your fame and fate's done with ♪
2340
01:36:29,492 --> 01:36:31,529
♪ I rob Charlie Brown,
Peppermint Patty ♪
2341
01:36:31,536 --> 01:36:32,572
♪ Linus and Lucy ♪
2342
01:36:32,578 --> 01:36:34,035
♪ Put coke in the doobie ♪
2343
01:36:34,038 --> 01:36:35,700
♪ Roll woolies to smoke
with Snoopy ♪
2344
01:36:35,707 --> 01:36:37,494
♪ I still remain that
dick-grabbin' slacker ♪
2345
01:36:37,500 --> 01:36:38,581
♪ That spit a loogie ♪
2346
01:36:38,584 --> 01:36:40,075
♪ 'Cause the toter
of the toolie'll ♪
2347
01:36:40,086 --> 01:36:41,793
♪ Murder you friggin' Moolies ♪
2348
01:36:42,797 --> 01:36:45,460
♪ Fuck outta here, yeah ♪
2349
01:36:52,223 --> 01:36:55,057
♪ Nobody speak
nobody get choked, hey ♪
2350
01:36:58,104 --> 01:37:01,313
♪ Nobody speak
nobody get choked, hey ♪
2351
01:37:02,775 --> 01:37:04,016
♪ Nobody speak ♪
2352
01:37:05,486 --> 01:37:06,977
♪ Nobody speak ♪
2353
01:37:12,660 --> 01:37:14,401
♪ Only facts, I will shoot a ♪
2354
01:37:14,454 --> 01:37:16,537
♪ Baby duck if it quacks
with a Luger ♪
2355
01:37:16,539 --> 01:37:19,657
♪ Top billin', come cops
some villainous shots is boxed ♪
2356
01:37:19,709 --> 01:37:21,917
♪ Shipped out, and bought
and y'all feeling it ♪
2357
01:37:21,919 --> 01:37:24,957
♪ El-P killin' it,
Killer Mike killin' shit ♪
2358
01:37:24,964 --> 01:37:27,832
♪ What more can I say?
We top billin' it ♪
2359
01:37:27,842 --> 01:37:30,801
♪ Valiant without villainy
Viciously foul victory ♪
2360
01:37:30,803 --> 01:37:32,385
♪ Burn towns and villages ♪
2361
01:37:32,388 --> 01:37:33,799
♪ Burning, looting,
and pillaging ♪
2362
01:37:33,806 --> 01:37:35,217
♪ Murderers try to hurt us ♪
2363
01:37:35,224 --> 01:37:36,931
♪ We curse them
and all their children ♪
2364
01:37:36,934 --> 01:37:39,972
♪ I just want the bread and
bologna bundles to tuck away ♪
2365
01:37:39,979 --> 01:37:42,722
♪ I don't work for free
I am barely giving a fuck away ♪
2366
01:37:42,732 --> 01:37:45,691
♪ So tell beggin' Johnny and
Mommy to get the fuck away ♪
2367
01:37:45,693 --> 01:37:49,152
♪ Heyyo here's a gun, son,
now run, get it the gutterway ♪
2368
01:37:59,457 --> 01:38:02,416
♪ Nobody speak
nobody get choked, hey ♪
2369
01:38:05,421 --> 01:38:08,289
♪ Nobody speak
nobody get choked, hey ♪
2370
01:38:09,884 --> 01:38:11,125
♪ Nobody speak ♪
2371
01:38:12,970 --> 01:38:14,256
♪ Nobody speak ♪
2372
01:38:17,350 --> 01:38:20,058
♪ Nobody speak
nobody get choked ♪
2373
01:41:48,894 --> 01:41:52,934
(George vocalizing)
2374
01:41:52,982 --> 01:41:55,019
ALAN (singing):
♪ Crockett, Crockett ♪
2375
01:41:55,067 --> 01:41:56,979
♪ We will rock it ♪
2376
01:41:57,028 --> 01:42:01,113
♪ Crockett, Crockett,
hide it in your pocket ♪
2377
01:42:01,157 --> 01:42:03,945
♪ Crockett, Crockett, Crockett ♪
2378
01:42:03,993 --> 01:42:09,284
♪ Crockett, Crockett ♪
2379
01:42:09,332 --> 01:42:10,743
(students cheering)
2380
01:42:10,791 --> 01:42:12,157
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