1 00:00:12,187 --> 00:00:14,655 Open this up! Open it up! 2 00:00:19,428 --> 00:00:20,861 What the bloody hell? 3 00:00:26,034 --> 00:00:28,502 All right. gentlemen. Coming up right away. 4 00:00:29,771 --> 00:00:31,864 All right. let's have a bit of decorum here. 5 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:48,556 - What do you want? - Well. I was just wonderi ng if— 6 00:00:48,623 --> 00:00:50,147 Speak up! I'm a busy man. 7 00:00:50,225 --> 00:00:52,420 Yes. that's what I wanted to talk to you about. 8 00:00:52,494 --> 00:00:56,157 | used to be a oooper's apprentice. and I was— 9 00:00:56,231 --> 00:00:59,132 All right. Coming up right away. What is it. boy? Spit it out. 10 00:00:59,201 --> 00:01:03,035 I was wondering if you could tell me something about the inkeeping business. 11 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,573 - I'm sure I could change trades— - What. now? 12 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:09,041 Mr. Rotcod. that party in the corner is still waiting. 13 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:12,444 Tell them it's coming up right away. Just go away. I've got no time. 14 00:01:12,514 --> 00:01:15,278 Perhaps it would help if you put the pitcher of ale over here... 15 00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:17,284 and thejar of mead over here... 16 00:01:17,352 --> 00:01:20,480 'cause I couldn't help noticing you were impairing your efficiency by— 17 00:01:20,555 --> 00:01:22,546 Christ's kidneys! Will you get out ofmyway? 18 00:01:23,358 --> 00:01:27,192 - Betty. come and give me a hand. - Your wife's not here. 19 00:01:28,263 --> 00:01:30,959 - Your wife? - Not here? 20 00:01:31,032 --> 00:01:33,125 Not here? Where is she? 21 00:01:34,836 --> 00:01:36,929 - Well. she's-she's— - She's what? 22 00:01:37,005 --> 00:01:39,098 I don't know. Maybe she's— 23 00:01:39,174 --> 00:01:42,632 And where's that friend of yours. that loudmouthed squire? 24 00:01:45,514 --> 00:01:47,675 - What? - No. 25 00:01:47,749 --> 00:01:49,683 - No what? - No. theyre not upstairs. 26 00:01:49,751 --> 00:01:51,912 I mean. theyre not— theyre not here. 27 00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:55,445 - No. no. theyre not here. not here. - What? 28 00:01:56,525 --> 00:01:58,755 You swine! 29 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:03,965 I'm gonna kill him. then I'm gonna kill you! 30 00:02:04,032 --> 00:02:05,465 Right. 31 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,735 You toad! 32 00:02:48,243 --> 00:02:50,711 Right! What's all this? 33 00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:55,113 Brawling in the public streets. Disturbing the king's peace. eh? 34 00:02:55,183 --> 00:02:57,674 This man— Mywife— Let go of me. 35 00:02:57,752 --> 00:03:00,915 All right. hold him. Fred. Now young fella— 36 00:03:00,989 --> 00:03:03,924 Here. I know you! 37 00:03:03,992 --> 00:03:07,155 Fred. it was him who tried to get in the other day. 38 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,288 - Mywife and the squire— - Let's take 'em to the dungeon. 39 00:03:09,364 --> 00:03:11,628 A few days there will sort 'em out. 40 00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:15,830 Rigth Then we can put irons on their legs. eh? 41 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,633 - But— - You can't! 42 00:03:17,706 --> 00:03:17,839 Destroy the monster? Oh. sire. 43 00:03:17,839 --> 00:03:22,173 Destroy the monster? Oh. sire. 44 00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,940 If you destroy the monster. you destroy the city. 45 00:03:25,013 --> 00:03:27,106 In the long term it will be shown... 46 00:03:27,182 --> 00:03:30,481 that we owe to the monster a period of prosperity... 47 00:03:30,552 --> 00:03:32,543 unprecedented in this kingdom. 48 00:03:32,621 --> 00:03:36,250 Oh. this is ridiculous. Your Majesty. the tournament must continue. 49 00:03:36,324 --> 00:03:38,258 A champion must be chosen. 50 00:03:38,326 --> 00:03:41,420 Bruno. the merchants may be prospering... 51 00:03:41,496 --> 00:03:43,623 but your kingdom's on the verge of collapse. 52 00:03:43,698 --> 00:03:46,462 Oh. Yes. Oh. well. ah— 53 00:03:46,534 --> 00:03:48,468 Now hear this! 54 00:03:49,704 --> 00:03:53,970 The king. that flower of chivalry. that prince of monarchs... 55 00:03:54,042 --> 00:03:57,808 that paragon of potentates. is going to speak. 56 00:03:57,879 --> 00:04:01,007 Hear the wisdom. witness the wit... 57 00:04:01,082 --> 00:04:03,710 observe the oratorical eloquence... 58 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,845 lend an ear... 59 00:04:06,921 --> 00:04:08,354 Beautifully said. 60 00:04:08,423 --> 00:04:12,052 to the mellow voice. the tender tones... 61 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:15,494 the voluptuous vowels. the coruscating consonants... 62 00:04:15,563 --> 00:04:19,329 of His Majesty lGng Bruno. 63 00:04:20,435 --> 00:04:22,369 Very lovely. Well. |— 64 00:04:22,437 --> 00:04:25,873 Who is going to give it to you straight. illuminate the essence... 65 00:04:25,940 --> 00:04:29,535 clarify the conundrums. dazzle us with logic 66 00:04:30,445 --> 00:04:33,243 My lords. Your Grace... 67 00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:36,079 Your Honor. the lGng! 68 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:39,416 Eh? on! Oh. yes. yes. 69 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,183 Bishop. my dear fellow. how can you... 70 00:04:42,257 --> 00:04:44,885 a man of God. say that the beast is good? 71 00:04:44,959 --> 00:04:48,019 | welcome your question. Yes. 72 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,727 since the advent of the beast... 73 00:04:54,803 --> 00:04:58,432 church attendance has tripled. tithing has increased. 74 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:02,602 Long lines of sinners wait eagerly outside the confessionals. 75 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,805 - Piety has never been higher. - Oh. bravo. bravo. 76 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,144 - Bravo. Bravo. - Well. my lord bishop— 77 00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:14,219 Oh. yes. Oh. yes. The king will speak. 78 00:05:14,289 --> 00:05:16,086 The king. 79 00:05:16,157 --> 00:05:17,590 Thank you. 80 00:05:19,294 --> 00:05:21,762 - Guard! - Sire. 81 00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:23,354 - lGll that man. - Sire. 82 00:05:23,431 --> 00:05:26,127 What? Who? 83 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,898 Anyway. the most potent... 84 00:05:31,272 --> 00:05:33,570 most poetical... 85 00:05:33,641 --> 00:05:35,438 most prestigious— 86 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:43,707 Well. Your Majesty. what is your opinion? 87 00:05:43,785 --> 00:05:45,412 - Your Highness. - Give us your guidance. 88 00:05:45,487 --> 00:05:49,583 - Even a hint. - Well. I think— 89 00:05:51,993 --> 00:05:55,986 Oh. no. What's that? What's going on here? 90 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,931 just one moment. 91 00:06:06,307 --> 00:06:07,774 What's going on here? 92 00:06:07,842 --> 00:06:11,835 Who dares sully my castle with unseemly brawls? 93 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,847 Guards. bring them in. 94 00:06:14,783 --> 00:06:17,149 We'll show them who's king around here. 95 00:06:17,218 --> 00:06:19,118 But. Your Majesty. we have important matters— 96 00:06:19,187 --> 00:06:22,350 Important matters. Passelewe? 97 00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:26,485 Surely keeping the peace in my own castle is important. 98 00:06:26,561 --> 00:06:28,495 First things first. 99 00:06:35,069 --> 00:06:38,061 The)!!! taste the king'sjustice. 100 00:06:39,207 --> 00:06:40,697 Put me down! 101 00:06:48,316 --> 00:06:49,908 mm 102 00:06:52,887 --> 00:06:54,377 mm 103 00:06:55,256 --> 00:06:57,019 What's this all about? 104 00:06:57,091 --> 00:06:59,389 The squire— behind my back! 105 00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:00,985 Calm. my man. 106 00:07:01,062 --> 00:07:04,293 Remember you're in the presence of your king. 107 00:07:04,365 --> 00:07:06,526 Guards. let him go. 108 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,326 Let him speak. 109 00:07:09,404 --> 00:07:12,669 Your Majesty. this man— 110 00:07:12,740 --> 00:07:14,571 this man— 111 00:07:16,578 --> 00:07:19,069 - What's going on here? - Get down. sire! 112 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:33,919 Hold it! 113 00:07:50,612 --> 00:07:52,239 This is outrageous. 114 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,480 Weren't there two of them to begin with? 115 00:07:56,551 --> 00:07:57,813 Yes. sir. 116 00:07:57,886 --> 00:08:00,218 Where's the other one got to? 117 00:08:00,288 --> 00:08:02,119 I don't know. sir. 118 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,953 Right. 119 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,458 Yes. 120 00:08:07,662 --> 00:08:09,061 Right. 121 00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:13,066 Then it falls upon us to find this man guilty. 122 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:17,501 Guilty? Guilty of what. sire? 123 00:08:17,572 --> 00:08:19,733 Cannibalism. 124 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,875 - Keep your eyes peeled. - Right. 125 00:08:34,455 --> 00:08:36,286 Quick. down this way. 126 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,533 Check up there. 127 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:22,797 No. Come on. 128 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,144 A man! 129 00:09:35,216 --> 00:09:37,150 Watch the princess! 130 00:09:38,853 --> 00:09:41,981 - A man! - At last you've come. 131 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,656 - I'm terribly sorry. barging in— - Don't be shy. 132 00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:50,891 I knew you'd come someday. 133 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:54,867 - I was coming up the stairs— - Put on this robe. You turn round. 134 00:09:56,437 --> 00:09:59,463 You must have traveled far to reach me. 135 00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:03,738 Swum rivers. climbed mountains. fought battles. 136 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,836 You can turn around now. 137 00:10:08,082 --> 00:10:11,574 There. Do I come up to your apectations? 138 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,713 Do you find me beautiful? 139 00:10:14,789 --> 00:10:16,723 Oh. yes. Thank you. 140 00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:18,691 Come. my prince. 141 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,352 Don't be shy. 142 00:10:20,428 --> 00:10:23,625 But I can't. Look at me. I'm not dressed for the occasion. 143 00:10:23,698 --> 00:10:25,131 Tush. 144 00:10:26,134 --> 00:10:30,093 You mustn't worry about those filthy peasant rags... 145 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:33,629 which you were no doubt forced to don in some romantic adventure. 146 00:10:33,708 --> 00:10:37,872 Soon we'll have you attired once more in princely finery. 147 00:10:37,945 --> 00:10:40,846 No. You see. there's been some mistake. 148 00:10:40,915 --> 00:10:43,850 - My name is Dennis. - Prince Dennis. 149 00:10:43,918 --> 00:10:48,787 - No. Dennis Cooper. | used to be— - Your face. You're wounded. 150 00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,347 No. it's nothing. just a bruise. 151 00:10:51,426 --> 00:10:53,018 just a bruise? 152 00:10:53,094 --> 00:10:55,358 How brave you are. my prince... 153 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,191 No. an innkeeper sat on me. 154 00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:03,134 You see. he thought— 155 00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:06,537 Well. this squire. you see. his wife— 156 00:11:06,607 --> 00:11:10,134 What. the innkeeper's wife was a squire? 157 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:14,045 I've been dreaming of this day for so long... 158 00:11:14,115 --> 00:11:19,212 but little did I upect one so brave and valiant and wise... 159 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:22,222 one who's crossed the seven seas for me... 160 00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:25,487 and galloped across deserts and dark canyons... 161 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,051 to be by my side at last. 162 00:11:28,129 --> 00:11:29,756 - My love. - Come. 163 00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:32,991 You must tell me of your many adventures. 164 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:36,127 We must get to know each other before we're married. 165 00:11:36,204 --> 00:11:37,728 “Fr llra'fl 166 00:11:37,805 --> 00:11:39,773 No. I'm sorry. miss. 167 00:11:39,841 --> 00:11:41,604 I can't do that. 168 00:11:41,676 --> 00:11:44,042 Can't? Can't? 169 00:11:44,112 --> 00:11:46,376 My prince. did I hear you right? 170 00:11:46,447 --> 00:11:48,278 lt's kind ofyou to ask— 171 00:11:49,784 --> 00:11:52,014 No. don't tell me. I know. 172 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,678 -I know. - You know? 173 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,188 In your adventures... 174 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:58,692 you rescued a maiden chained to a dark cliff. 175 00:12:00,128 --> 00:12:02,153 - No. not aactly. - She fell in love. 176 00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:04,095 You fell in love. 177 00:12:04,165 --> 00:12:07,157 And there and then before the gods themselves... 178 00:12:07,235 --> 00:12:10,033 you made a pact that only death could break 179 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,800 - No. you're on the wrong tack. - Come. my prince. 180 00:12:12,874 --> 00:12:15,900 You must not linger in idle conversation. 181 00:12:16,811 --> 00:12:19,644 You gained entry to the castle by stealth... 182 00:12:19,714 --> 00:12:23,275 and now you must leave in the same way. 183 00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,841 I know. 184 00:12:24,919 --> 00:12:28,355 Sisterj essica. you must give your habit to the prince. 185 00:12:28,422 --> 00:12:31,414 - My habit. Princess? - Yes. and hurry. 186 00:12:31,492 --> 00:12:34,723 But what's wrong with Sister Marian's habit? 187 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,162 Don't be silly. Here. 188 00:12:41,736 --> 00:12:44,671 Now. my prince. this is the plan. 189 00:12:45,907 --> 00:12:47,875 Tomorrow is St. Talulah's Day... 190 00:12:47,942 --> 00:12:51,400 and by first light a nun of the order must depart this city... 191 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,447 and lay fi'esh dogwood... 192 00:12:53,514 --> 00:12:58,008 on the spot where St. Talulah was murdered bythe Ralph Benslow Four. 193 00:13:00,254 --> 00:13:03,519 You shall be that nun. Sisterjessica? 194 00:13:05,059 --> 00:13:06,651 Sisterjessica. 195 00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,097 Well. give it to the prince. 196 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,030 Well. thank you. Sisterjes— 197 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,599 There. Proceed to the western wall... 198 00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,235 but by the backstreets only. 199 00:13:23,311 --> 00:13:25,836 When you get to the western gate. say... 200 00:13:25,913 --> 00:13:28,780 "l have the holy dogwood for St. Talulah's spot. 201 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:31,045 Let me pass that I might pray a while." 202 00:13:38,659 --> 00:13:40,889 Oh. my prince. My prince. 203 00:13:41,929 --> 00:13:44,420 - Is this yours? - Yes. No! 204 00:13:44,498 --> 00:13:47,467 Please. please let me have it. 205 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:51,904 Let me have it as a souvenir of our hopeless. flawless love. 206 00:13:51,973 --> 00:13:54,464 - I'll cherish it always. -I can't— 207 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:55,975 And now. my prince... 208 00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:57,704 you must flee. 209 00:13:57,778 --> 00:14:00,269 No. No. don't kiss me. 210 00:14:00,348 --> 00:14:03,442 -I couldn't stand it. - I wasn't going to. 211 00:14:03,517 --> 00:14:04,950 just go. 212 00:14:05,019 --> 00:14:07,283 just go. my prince. 213 00:14:07,355 --> 00:14:09,380 And remember... 214 00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:12,790 "l have the holy dogwood for St. Talulah's spot.” 215 00:14:13,961 --> 00:14:16,521 In Latin. my love. 216 00:14:58,873 --> 00:15:00,773 - Evening. Sister. - Evening. 217 00:15:00,841 --> 00:15:03,901 0h, Imetamaid 218 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:07,680 AtStepney Fair 219 00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:13,985 Amiga/den hair 220 00:15:14,055 --> 00:15:16,546 Shesaidtame 221 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,650 OsaIai'erbnve 222 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,461 What have we got here? 223 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,299 A strange face? 224 00:15:31,439 --> 00:15:33,498 And a pretty one. 225 00:15:33,574 --> 00:15:37,408 Well now. let's have a look. Let's have a kiss. 226 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:40,777 - Come on. Sarge. She's a nun. - So she is. 227 00:15:40,848 --> 00:15:45,080 Let's have a Christian kiss. 228 00:15:50,925 --> 00:15:52,688 What's the matter. Sarge? 229 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:56,059 Put me to bed. boys. Put me to bed. 230 00:16:07,208 --> 00:16:10,143 Look! It's the devil in the guise of a nun. 231 00:16:10,211 --> 00:16:12,771 No. it's a nun in the guise of a devil. 232 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,974 - Get her. - Get him. 233 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,382 mm 234 00:16:17,451 --> 00:16:21,911 A sacrifice must be made to appease the monster that lurks... 235 00:16:21,989 --> 00:16:24,423 in the darkness in wait for us all. 236 00:16:24,492 --> 00:16:26,426 And what better... 237 00:16:26,494 --> 00:16:29,657 than to sacrifice one of the beast's own servants... 238 00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:34,758 whom we caught masquerading as a holy sister of the Mother Church? 239 00:16:40,007 --> 00:16:43,306 We will fire him into the eternal darkness... 240 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:47,780 as a testimony to our piety and godliness. 241 00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:51,684 Imagine his agony... 242 00:16:51,752 --> 00:16:53,617 as the flames rise higher... 243 00:16:53,687 --> 00:16:57,316 higher until he is but a ball ofliving fire. 244 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,858 Oh. the agony! 245 00:16:59,827 --> 00:17:01,658 Imagine his horror... 246 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,924 as the mighty ballistic device... 247 00:17:03,998 --> 00:17:05,659 hurls him high... 248 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,133 into the depths of the blackened sky! 249 00:17:08,202 --> 00:17:10,102 Are you imagining the horror? 250 00:17:11,505 --> 00:17:14,872 Imagine the terror of his suspense... 251 00:17:14,942 --> 00:17:17,809 as our poor sacrifice waits. waits... 252 00:17:17,878 --> 00:17:20,745 waits for the darkling earth to rise up... 253 00:17:20,815 --> 00:17:24,148 and crush him to its harsh bosom. 254 00:17:24,218 --> 00:17:26,277 Oh. the suspense! 255 00:17:26,353 --> 00:17:28,014 The incertitude! 256 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,023 Oh. the uncertainty! 257 00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,615 I like suspense. 258 00:17:31,692 --> 00:17:34,320 Imagine his final horror... 259 00:17:34,395 --> 00:17:37,523 as his miserable little life is snuffed out... 260 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:41,694 in a glorious bone-crushing cascade of phosphorescence... 261 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:44,260 as he finally. agonizingly... 262 00:17:44,338 --> 00:17:47,000 smashes into the ground. 263 00:17:51,078 --> 00:17:54,241 - That's not fair. that. - No. it's definitely not fair. 264 00:17:54,315 --> 00:17:57,807 - No. it isn't fair. - What's not fair? 265 00:17:57,885 --> 00:18:01,719 - How come he gets to go? - Why should he have all the pain? 266 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,586 And all that “bone-crushing horror." 267 00:18:03,657 --> 00:18:06,023 -Iwanttogo! -Iwanttogo! 268 00:18:06,093 --> 00:18:07,526 I want to bum— 269 00:18:07,595 --> 00:18:11,224 I want to feel my bones bursting into a billion pieces! 270 00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:14,324 I want to trace across the finnament... 271 00:18:14,401 --> 00:18:16,494 a glowing ball of flame... 272 00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:20,233 a testament to our godliness and piety! 273 00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:23,276 - What does that mean? - I don't know. but I want it! 274 00:18:24,278 --> 00:18:25,711 I want it! 275 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:40,222 - Hot! - Fire! 276 00:18:49,136 --> 00:18:50,694 Nice. 277 00:18:56,777 --> 00:19:00,406 Another glorious day for a tournament. eh. Passelewe? 278 00:19:00,481 --> 00:19:02,210 I suppose so. Your Majesty. 279 00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,945 You suppose so? 280 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:06,680 Suppose so? 281 00:19:06,754 --> 00:19:08,688 Buck up. man. Buck up. 282 00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:10,451 It's tournament time. 283 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,822 Certainly. Your Majesty. 284 00:19:12,893 --> 00:19:15,487 But I can't but think there must be... 285 00:19:15,563 --> 00:19:18,464 a better way to choose a champion. 286 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,762 A better way. Passelewe? 287 00:19:20,834 --> 00:19:23,268 What better than the shattering of lances? 288 00:19:23,337 --> 00:19:24,929 The flailing of the mace? 289 00:19:25,005 --> 00:19:26,973 The cut and thrust of broadswords? 290 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,305 The ring of falchion on cuissart? 291 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:32,311 What better way than an honest tournament? 292 00:19:34,515 --> 00:19:35,777 Yes. 293 00:19:37,017 --> 00:19:40,714 My dear. how beautiful you look. 294 00:19:43,357 --> 00:19:44,790 Yes. 295 00:19:47,328 --> 00:19:49,819 What on earth is that? 296 00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,364 But. Dad— 297 00:19:53,867 --> 00:19:55,357 W 298 00:20:12,886 --> 00:20:14,478 Look at that. 299 00:20:14,555 --> 00:20:15,988 Did you see that? 300 00:20:16,056 --> 00:20:18,320 Right through the middle of the old demi-brassarts. 301 00:20:18,392 --> 00:20:21,259 jolly good. Bravo. 302 00:20:21,328 --> 00:20:24,525 There's another one on the maimed list. Probably dead by now. 303 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:26,566 Merely a scratch. that's all. 304 00:20:26,634 --> 00:20:30,798 -P|enty more knights where he came fl'om. -Not really. sire. 305 00:20:30,871 --> 00:20:34,864 What do you mean. Passelewe. "not really. sire'? 306 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:39,038 Now. which part of this is giving you difficulty. Your Majesty? 307 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:42,879 Well. all of it. flankly. What do you mean by it? 308 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:45,544 Basically. I mean by saying "not really. sire'... 309 00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:49,419 I mean that the true situation is. or is likely to be... 310 00:20:49,490 --> 00:20:51,720 ipso facto. to the contrary... 311 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:55,387 and the eract opposite to that which you may perceive. 312 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,056 And I appended. sire. because. after all. you are the king. 313 00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:00,066 You are the king. aren't you? 314 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:03,570 And that seems to be a reasonable way of addressing a monarch. 315 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:06,401 - Daddy. - What is it. darling? 316 00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:09,203 Oh. I'm sorry. What is it. darling? 317 00:21:09,276 --> 00:21:12,211 Look at that brute of a knight. I couldn't marry anything like that. 318 00:21:12,279 --> 00:21:15,305 Of course not. You won't have to. 319 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,114 He won't... 320 00:21:21,955 --> 00:21:23,388 win. 321 00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:28,859 Passelewe. what were we discussing a moment ago? 322 00:21:28,929 --> 00:21:31,921 The toll of your knights. According to my records— 323 00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:34,194 Now.just a moment. Passelewe. 324 00:21:34,268 --> 00:21:37,533 You used that "sire' for the same reason... 325 00:21:37,604 --> 00:21:40,198 that you used it in the first place. right? 326 00:21:40,274 --> 00:21:42,242 - Right. - Right. 327 00:21:42,309 --> 00:21:43,742 I thought so. 328 00:21:43,811 --> 00:21:45,574 Well. according to my records... 329 00:21:45,646 --> 00:21:49,548 approximately 65 percent of the knights of your realm... 330 00:21:49,616 --> 00:21:52,050 have been killed or maimed since the tournament began. 331 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,553 But. Passelewe. that's no figure at all. 332 00:21:55,622 --> 00:21:57,283 No figure at all. 333 00:21:57,358 --> 00:22:01,692 If it was 83.3 percent or 97.4 percent... 334 00:22:01,762 --> 00:22:03,992 now that is a true percentage... 335 00:22:04,064 --> 00:22:06,897 in absolutely the truest sense of the word. 336 00:22:06,967 --> 00:22:08,730 My dearest Bruno. do listen. 337 00:22:08,802 --> 00:22:12,135 If this carnage continues. even until the end of the week. where on earth— 338 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:13,901 - Hold it. hold it! - What? 339 00:22:13,974 --> 00:22:15,805 This one I must see. 340 00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:23,843 There must be a better way of ching a champion. 341 00:22:27,354 --> 00:22:29,447 arm: 342 00:22:29,523 --> 00:22:31,252 Is that you. Ethel? 343 00:22:31,325 --> 00:22:33,816 I wondered what happened to you last night. 344 00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:36,158 - I had some incredible adventures— - Can't talk now. 345 00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:39,666 - Due in the lists in ten minutes time. - I'm coming. Mother. 346 00:22:43,170 --> 00:22:46,662 Watch where you're getting the blood. will ya? Christ Almightjd 347 00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:49,504 How else can we choose a champion? 348 00:22:49,576 --> 00:22:51,840 I suppose we could call an election. 349 00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,937 - Election. Passelewe? - Yes. 350 00:22:54,014 --> 00:22:57,780 Oh. no. Nonsense. It wouldn't be fair to the knights. 351 00:22:57,851 --> 00:23:00,012 They could draw lots. 352 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,180 - Draw lots? - Yes. 353 00:23:04,425 --> 00:23:06,086 Bless my soul. 354 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,755 You mightjust as well do it "dip-dip-dip. my little ship'... 355 00:23:09,830 --> 00:23:12,196 or "one potato. two potatoes.” 356 00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:15,934 Or even hide-and-seek. 357 00:23:18,372 --> 00:23:19,805 Forty-eight... 358 00:23:19,873 --> 00:23:21,670 forty-nine... 359 00:23:21,742 --> 00:23:23,607 fifty. 360 00:23:23,677 --> 00:23:25,304 Coming! 361 00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:34,549 The cardinal said. "I asked for 13 vergers." 362 00:23:34,621 --> 00:23:37,784 - Vergers? - "Why have you brought me 13 virgins?" 363 00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:41,352 Now. we're in the garden... 364 00:23:41,428 --> 00:23:44,192 and a thousand voices said as one man... 365 00:23:44,264 --> 00:23:48,360 ‘Ave, ave, passed through this way." 366 00:23:50,270 --> 00:23:51,965 ‘Ave, ave, " what? 367 00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:56,966 -Whydo I need to say ‘Ave"? - Why don't you sit back... 368 00:23:57,044 --> 00:24:00,241 and let something nice happen to you for a change. 369 00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:02,874 Looks like theyve chosen a champion. 370 00:24:02,950 --> 00:24:05,043 Can you see who it is? 371 00:24:09,623 --> 00:24:12,615 It's my boss. Christ. 372 00:24:12,693 --> 00:24:15,127 Well. congratulations. sire. 373 00:24:15,195 --> 00:24:16,685 We have a champion. 374 00:24:16,763 --> 00:24:18,526 Good. 375 00:24:18,599 --> 00:24:21,762 - Where is he? - They haven't found him yet. 376 00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:25,362 - Is that good? - Yes. That's what makes him a champion. 377 00:24:34,481 --> 00:24:36,449 They will find him. won't they? 378 00:24:40,587 --> 00:24:44,216 - You must be very proud. - Proud? You shit! 379 00:24:44,291 --> 00:24:46,555 - Shit! - That's a great honor. isn't it? 380 00:24:46,627 --> 00:24:49,118 Honor? Maybe he'll get the honor. 381 00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:50,959 I'll probably end up with... 382 00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:53,295 a dragon's tooth up my burn and a shilling-a-year pension. 383 00:24:54,601 --> 00:24:58,037 I'll have to sit vigil with him all night as well. 384 00:24:58,105 --> 00:24:59,970 Christ. what luck. 385 00:25:02,543 --> 00:25:06,138 I promised my body to a woman tonight. 386 00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:08,647 Maybe I could go and tell the lady that— 387 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,484 Wait a minute. Maybe you could do it. 388 00:25:16,557 --> 00:25:19,151 Certainlyl could. I'll tell the lady that— 389 00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:20,784 Not that. 390 00:25:20,861 --> 00:25:22,624 Sit the vigil. 391 00:25:22,696 --> 00:25:24,323 IMF-fl 392 00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:26,992 I could give you my hat... 393 00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:28,762 my cape. 394 00:25:28,835 --> 00:25:31,770 just keep your head down. He'll never know. 395 00:25:31,838 --> 00:25:35,604 - I can't do that. It's not right. - Who'll know? Come on. 396 00:25:45,252 --> 00:25:46,685 A beast! 397 00:25:46,753 --> 00:25:48,345 Herel am. I am. 398 00:25:48,422 --> 00:25:49,912 Not you. 399 00:25:53,594 --> 00:25:55,357 Forget it. 400 00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:54,916 Squire? What squire? 401 00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:56,546 You know what squire. 402 00:26:57,791 --> 00:27:00,089 Oh. my rheumatism. 403 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,095 That cell was so damp. Two whole nights. 404 00:27:03,163 --> 00:27:05,097 Oh. you poor dear. 405 00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:08,760 Come. let me undress you and put you to bed. 406 00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:12,601 It must have been an awful aperience. 407 00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:14,197 It was. 408 00:27:15,509 --> 00:27:17,204 Betty. 409 00:27:17,277 --> 00:27:20,110 Your hands are so soft and warm. 410 00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:25,447 You don't really think there was a squire up here in our bed. do you? 411 00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:27,384 - Well— - Do you? 412 00:27:27,454 --> 00:27:30,048 Come. let me take those off. 413 00:27:30,123 --> 00:27:31,715 And that. 414 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,094 Doesn't that feel better? 415 00:27:38,265 --> 00:27:40,859 Bernard. my darling. 416 00:27:55,549 --> 00:27:56,982 Come. 417 00:28:27,013 --> 00:28:28,446 Citizens... 418 00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:30,849 nobles... 419 00:28:32,152 --> 00:28:34,120 gentry! 420 00:28:34,187 --> 00:28:36,382 The king. 421 00:28:37,824 --> 00:28:39,655 Me? Oh. yes. 422 00:28:43,563 --> 00:28:44,996 Good Sir Knight... 423 00:28:45,065 --> 00:28:48,000 you have proved your worth on the field of honor. 424 00:28:53,907 --> 00:28:57,673 And now you must prove yourself in mortal combat... 425 00:28:57,744 --> 00:28:59,644 with a monster so terrifying... 426 00:29:05,786 --> 00:29:08,050 that even I would hesitate... 427 00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:09,986 to meet it... 428 00:29:10,056 --> 00:29:12,047 face-to-face... 429 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,523 in hand-to-hand combat. 430 00:29:16,596 --> 00:29:18,086 Was that all right? 431 00:29:18,165 --> 00:29:21,191 Well. I suppose so. my darling. yes. 432 00:29:22,369 --> 00:29:24,701 And so. go forth... 433 00:29:24,771 --> 00:29:26,602 and slay the beast. 434 00:29:28,408 --> 00:29:31,502 And take with you the royal blessings... 435 00:29:32,979 --> 00:29:35,345 and also the blessings... 436 00:29:35,415 --> 00:29:37,576 of Mother Church. 437 00:29:39,486 --> 00:29:40,783 Bishop! 438 00:30:01,274 --> 00:30:03,538 - Get out of here! - Bloody swords! 439 00:30:38,678 --> 00:30:41,272 - Is that all? - That's it. 440 00:30:46,786 --> 00:30:48,219 Right. 441 00:30:48,288 --> 00:30:49,721 Hemld? 442 00:30:50,690 --> 00:30:52,681 Have the gates opened. 443 00:30:55,195 --> 00:30:56,924 Well. carry on! 444 00:30:58,999 --> 00:31:00,432 Open the gates! 445 00:31:18,285 --> 00:31:20,378 Farewell. 446 00:31:23,023 --> 00:31:24,456 WET“! 447 00:31:32,098 --> 00:31:35,363 He took his vorpal sword in hand. 448 00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:39,064 Long time the manxome foe he sought. 449 00:31:39,139 --> 00:31:43,769 Sarestedhe bythe tummm tree" 450 00:31:43,843 --> 00:31:47,472 andstaadawhile in thought. 451 00:31:47,547 --> 00:31:51,313 And as in uffish thought he stood... 452 00:31:51,384 --> 00:31:54,717 thejabberwock with eyes aflame... 453 00:31:54,788 --> 00:31:58,724 came Mimiflg through the tulgey wood" 454 00:31:58,792 --> 00:32:01,920 andbwfledasitcame. 455 00:32:03,863 --> 00:32:05,296 Lance. 456 00:32:06,433 --> 00:32:08,492 Lance. lance. 457 00:32:28,621 --> 00:32:30,486 Come on. Come on. 458 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,757 Griselda. 459 00:33:13,633 --> 00:33:15,260 Go get 'em. boys! 460 00:33:21,074 --> 00:33:24,134 U 0 IF“: Eu 0 IF“: it 461 00:33:27,013 --> 00:33:29,675 Where monster? 462 00:33:34,387 --> 00:33:36,446 There he is! 463 00:33:38,925 --> 00:33:40,790 Don't let him get away. 464 00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:46,123 U 0 IF“: Eu 0 IF“: it 465 00:34:10,790 --> 00:34:13,953 I am here. Griselda. Fear not. 466 00:34:14,027 --> 00:34:16,291 Gee. a knight. 467 00:34:16,362 --> 00:34:18,660 I never saw a knight before. 468 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,298 Oh. Mr. Fishfinger. 469 00:34:23,369 --> 00:34:25,860 Oh. stop dribbling. woman. 470 00:34:25,939 --> 00:34:28,703 Oh. bless you. O noble lad. 471 00:34:28,775 --> 00:34:30,299 Oh. thank you. 472 00:34:31,678 --> 00:34:33,168 Stand aside. Mrs. Fishfinger. 473 00:34:39,052 --> 00:34:41,145 Sorry. Mr. Fishfinger. Are you all right? 474 00:34:41,221 --> 00:34:43,655 You almost cut my arm ofl! 475 00:34:44,824 --> 00:34:49,761 You always were a clumsy one. Dennis Cooper. 476 00:34:49,829 --> 00:34:51,888 Shame on you. 477 00:34:51,965 --> 00:34:53,899 Get out! 478 00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:56,458 jesus! 479 00:34:56,536 --> 00:34:59,630 I could get blood poisoning. Was that sword sterilized? 480 00:34:59,706 --> 00:35:02,402 I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to. 481 00:35:02,475 --> 00:35:05,000 I'll bind it up foryou. I'll get some bandages. 482 00:35:05,078 --> 00:35:06,875 jesus. Get ofl! 483 00:35:08,414 --> 00:35:09,847 m 484 00:35:11,417 --> 00:35:13,408 - What? - Look 485 00:35:18,992 --> 00:35:21,927 Good Sir Knight. Good Sir Knight. 486 00:35:21,995 --> 00:35:24,589 We're so grateful to you for rescuing us... 487 00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:27,258 fl'om the clutches of those foul fiends. 488 00:35:27,333 --> 00:35:29,028 Upsy-daisy. 489 00:35:30,537 --> 00:35:32,368 Very gracious of you. Sir Knight. 490 00:35:32,438 --> 00:35:37,432 We're very undeserving really. We'rejust humble fisher folk. 491 00:35:37,510 --> 00:35:40,445 However. we do have this maiden daughter. 492 00:35:40,513 --> 00:35:42,947 As there is this custom in these parts... 493 00:35:43,016 --> 00:35:47,214 the knight quite often marries the maiden he's rescued. 494 00:35:47,287 --> 00:35:50,188 Say hello to the knight. Griselda honey. 495 00:35:50,256 --> 00:35:53,020 Mr. Fishfi nger. it was me that rescued you. 496 00:35:53,092 --> 00:35:56,789 Will you clear ofl! What do you say. Sir Knight. hmm? 497 00:35:56,863 --> 00:35:58,524 Good Sir Knight. 498 00:36:07,106 --> 00:36:09,097 - Well? - Hark. Be gone. 499 00:36:09,175 --> 00:36:11,700 - Wait! - Come back here! 500 00:36:11,778 --> 00:36:14,474 Sir Knight. come back. please! 501 00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:16,708 Griselda. Mr. Fishfinger. 502 00:36:16,783 --> 00:36:19,377 I've got to go. I'm sorry about your hand. 503 00:36:19,452 --> 00:36:22,148 - It hurts! - Griselda. I've missed you so much. 504 00:36:22,222 --> 00:36:24,087 I've kept your potato. 505 00:36:26,559 --> 00:36:29,926 You really are a big disappointment to me. 506 00:36:29,996 --> 00:36:33,090 Get out. I thought you were gonna make something of yourself. 507 00:36:33,166 --> 00:36:35,657 Mr. Fishfinger. he is the king's champion. 508 00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:39,000 Shame! Call yourself an eligible suitor for our fair Griselda? 509 00:36:39,072 --> 00:36:40,835 You're nothing but a vagrant 510 00:36:43,309 --> 00:36:45,743 You leave her alone. Leave her alone. 511 00:36:50,416 --> 00:36:52,441 Go on! 512 00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:33,550 Someone at the door. dear. 513 00:37:33,626 --> 00:37:37,062 - We've got to make up our minds now. - Gentlemen! 514 00:37:37,130 --> 00:37:39,894 - We can't delay another day. - Let's do something. 515 00:37:39,966 --> 00:37:42,730 This king's champion must be stopped. 516 00:37:42,802 --> 00:37:45,999 The monster must be protected. 517 00:37:46,072 --> 00:37:49,064 If he kills the monster. we'll all be ruined. 518 00:37:49,142 --> 00:37:51,303 Let me prevail upon you. 519 00:37:51,377 --> 00:37:53,811 No more argy-bargy is necessary... 520 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,644 because I have a plan. 521 00:38:05,258 --> 00:38:07,192 The Black Knight. 522 00:38:09,262 --> 00:38:11,423 mm 523 00:39:10,523 --> 00:39:12,957 I thinkwe must be getting closer. 524 00:40:24,997 --> 00:40:28,023 Grease. Grease. 525 00:40:51,123 --> 00:40:53,318 Now that. 526 00:40:53,392 --> 00:40:55,451 Lance. 527 00:41:54,987 --> 00:41:57,353 Get him. 528 00:47:30,723 --> 00:47:34,215 And hast thou slain thejabberwock? 529 00:47:34,293 --> 00:47:37,922 Come to my arms. my beamish boy. 530 00:47:37,997 --> 00:47:41,364 - Oh. flabjous dajd - The monster's dead! 531 00:47:41,433 --> 00:47:42,798 The monster's dead! 532 00:48:18,304 --> 00:48:22,138 Stop! No one's to enter the city unless they have some money. 533 00:48:22,207 --> 00:48:23,902 Stop. I say! 534 00:48:39,024 --> 00:48:41,083 Oh. my God! 535 00:48:43,362 --> 00:48:46,331 Cancel those shipments of wine. grain. straw! 536 00:48:46,398 --> 00:48:47,922 Cancel everything! 537 00:49:02,348 --> 00:49:04,543 Dennis. here she is— Griselda. 538 00:49:05,985 --> 00:49:07,577 Here I am. 539 00:49:09,154 --> 00:49:11,452 It's me! 540 00:49:13,292 --> 00:49:15,487 It was always you. 541 00:49:15,561 --> 00:49:18,325 You was the one we was always pushing for. 542 00:49:18,397 --> 00:49:21,423 We'll have the wedding tomorrow. Even this afternoon. 543 00:49:21,500 --> 00:49:23,092 We'll get the bishop. 544 00:49:25,170 --> 00:49:27,195 Dennis. you're wonderful. 545 00:49:27,272 --> 00:49:30,935 Griselda. at last we can have the life we always wanted. 546 00:50:02,474 --> 00:50:05,568 My boy. congratulations. 547 00:50:05,644 --> 00:50:08,272 We offer you our heartfelt thanks. 548 00:50:08,347 --> 00:50:11,783 You have cleared the kingdom of a great menace. 549 00:50:11,850 --> 00:50:14,148 And I am very happy... 550 00:50:14,219 --> 00:50:17,882 to fulfill my promise and to bestow upon you— 551 00:50:17,956 --> 00:50:19,924 What's his name? 552 00:50:19,992 --> 00:50:21,482 It's Dennis. 553 00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:23,721 Dennis Cooper. Your Royalshipness. 554 00:50:23,796 --> 00:50:25,821 And that's his fiancee. my daughter. 555 00:50:25,898 --> 00:50:28,389 You. Dennis... 556 00:50:28,467 --> 00:50:30,697 one-half of my entire kingdom... 557 00:50:34,073 --> 00:50:36,701 and the hand in marriage of my daughter... 558 00:50:36,775 --> 00:50:38,140 the princess. 559 00:50:39,311 --> 00:50:41,802 Come. my boy. to the palace. 560 00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:43,848 - But— - Come. 561 00:50:49,054 --> 00:50:52,387 I pronounce you man and wife. 562 00:50:52,458 --> 00:50:54,392 Prince and princess. 563 00:51:19,885 --> 00:51:22,319 Whose idea was it— 564 00:51:22,387 --> 00:51:24,412 - Don't you see— -Will you shut up! 565 00:51:36,301 --> 00:51:38,701 Look out. sire!