1
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,922
Now once upon
a time they sang the vo-Dee-o-doe
2
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,684
But that was long ago
3
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:27,207
Then everybody started in
to boop-boop-a-doop
4
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:30,080
They got tired of that, you know
5
00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:34,809
But the tune for you and me
6
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:43,048
Very unnecessary.
7
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,566
Is that swinging symphony
8
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,689
They called it Inka dinka Dee
9
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,411
A dinka doo A dinka Dee
10
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:55,804
Oh, what a tune for croonin'
11
00:00:56,480 --> 00:01:00,929
Inka dinka Dee
A dinka doo, a dinka Dee
12
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:06,245
It's got the whole
world swoonin'
13
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:09,403
Eskimo belles up in...
14
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:10,891
Let me hear those trumpets.
15
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,490
That's not a trumpet.
16
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:17,970
That's not a trumpet.
17
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:22,924
That's a trumpet.
18
00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:28,524
Inka dinka Dee
A dinka doo, a dinka Dee
19
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:32,002
Simply means
Inka dinka Dee, a dinka doo
20
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,884
Inka dinka Dee A dinka doo
21
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,645
Let me hear my symphony.
22
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,401
What a band.
23
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:48,368
Inks a-dinka dinks
A dinka dinks, a dinka Dee
24
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:53,207
It's got the whole world
swoonin'
25
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,203
I'm walkin' down the street...
26
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,802
I'm walkin' down the street...
27
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,290
Tell me, Mr. James,
28
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,210
now just what did you
accomplish?
29
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,883
Inka dinka Dee A dinka doo
30
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:22,729
A dinka Dee-eee
31
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,084
That note was given to me
by Bing Crosby,
32
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,164
and was he glad
to get rid of it!
33
00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:33,406
Inka dinka Dee A dinka doo
34
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,205
Boys!
Time to get up.
35
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:09,847
Come on.
36
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,646
It's Saturday morning.
We've gotta get going.
37
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,051
Where are we goin'?
38
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,361
We're going to see my Uncle Joe.
39
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,960
What? No, I don't wanna go
No!
40
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:23,323
Come here. Come here. Come here!
41
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,643
I wanna watch my cartoons!
It's Saturday.
42
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,087
You can't make us! You can't make us!
We don't wanna go to Uncle Joe's.
43
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,161
Stop it! Stop it!
44
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,561
We don't wanna go! We don't wanna go!
We don't wanna go!
45
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,881
We'll be good, we promise.
We'll eat anything.
46
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,049
We'll clean our room, but
no Uncle Joe.
47
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,691
Now come on.
We don't have time for this.
48
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,046
Leave us alone!
49
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,009
Come on now.
You wouldn't hurt Daddy.
50
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,564
It's still pretty early, Carl.
51
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,642
I want to get there first.
If you don't get there first,
52
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,371
whoever does get there first talks
about you before you get there
53
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,363
until there's no point
in you even being there.
54
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,125
Which reminds me, try to bring
up my cousin Tina's drinking.
55
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,965
You're
better at it, more subtle.
56
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,484
Carl and Nora McTeague.
57
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,849
Welcome to hell.
58
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:52,449
Are we first, Douglas?
Indeed, sir.
59
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,325
No one else had the presence of
mind to be three hours early.
60
00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,690
May I take your bird, madam?
61
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,764
No, thank you, Douglas. We'll
give it to him ourselves.
62
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,285
Would you care to wait
in the drawing room?
63
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:05,407
Thank you.
64
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,164
There was another car
out front. Who...
65
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,402
Dr. Hemmel is with your uncle.
Oh?
66
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,925
Anything wrong?
67
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,804
Your uncle had some congestion.
68
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,326
He was coughing
most of the night, sir.
69
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,324
What kind of cough? Was it dry
or, you know, liquidy? I mean...
70
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:23,041
It was just a cough, sir. Next
time I'll save you a sample.
71
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,008
He'll really like the bird, I think.
72
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,811
It cost us $400, Carl.
73
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,848
You have to spend money
to make money.
74
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,089
Oh, my heavens!
75
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,560
Yolanda, what's wrong?
76
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,081
He's dead!
77
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,008
One minute the doctor was examining
him, and he said he was fine,
78
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:53,804
and then...
79
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,282
He's dead.
Come quickly, please.
80
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,930
Yes!
Yes!
81
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,571
Are we rich?
82
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:01,971
Shh. Maybe.
83
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,605
Oh, my God!
84
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,608
Yolanda, go clean something!
85
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,129
Stop that!
86
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,724
It's Dr. Hemmel!
87
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,689
Of course
it's Dr. Hemmel!
88
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,210
He used to brag to me how he got
up every morning at 5:00 a.m.
89
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,601
to play racquetball
at 71 years old.
90
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,010
You don't hear him bragging now.
91
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,971
Truth be known, Uncle Joe,
we are so relieved.
92
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,010
When Yolanda came in there
screaming, we thought that...
93
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:53,847
Well, all I can say is, we're glad
you're still with us, Uncle Joe.
94
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,366
You look thrilled.
Oh, we are.
95
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,046
Especially the boys,
Joe and Joe.
96
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,930
And look, Uncle Joe, another
little Joe in the oven.
97
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,923
Here's a doctor's note
to prove it.
98
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,209
You look nice, Nora. Thanks, Uncle Joe.
So do you.
99
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,368
Why don't we just cut the cable?
Shh!
100
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,283
It's too thick. Come on.
101
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,930
Did you hear what he said? What?
102
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,322
He said you look nice. I think
that's a good sign, don't you?
103
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,323
Oh, I don't know
what to think anymore.
104
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,290
Carl, I want a girl, honey.
105
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:25,251
All right, I swear, after he's dead
we'll have a girl, I promise, okay?
106
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,964
Hey-hey!
107
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,484
Uncle Joe?
108
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,682
Wanted to tell you
about something.
109
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,286
You should see how Big Joe,
our Big Joe,
110
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,522
what a head for business
he has, already.
111
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,886
Just nine years old.
112
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,043
He organized this lawn mowing company
with the other fourth graders.
113
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:51,887
He's preparing himself in case he has
to take over a big business someday.
114
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,604
So you're interested
in money, huh?
115
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:55,321
Uh-huh.
116
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,885
Made 10 bucks just comin' here.
117
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,562
I get another 20 if I kiss you.
118
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,086
I'm thinkin' about it.
119
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,571
All right.
120
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,764
Carl, what happened?
Is he...
121
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,202
Massive coronary. He died instantly.
Really? You mean, just...
122
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,563
And he left everything to you, sis.
Really?
123
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,881
No, it wasn't even him.
It was Dr. Hemmel.
124
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,564
You son of a bitch.
125
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,246
You really wish it was the old
man in the ambulance, don't you?
126
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,288
I did before,
but now I wish it was you.
127
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:42,771
How are your girls, Ed?
128
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,764
That's right, we have girls.
You know why?
129
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,800
Because we weren't cynical
and cold-blooded enough
130
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,121
to put Ed's sperm in a
centrifuge and spin it around
131
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,089
to separate the X's
from the Y's.
132
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,528
Excuse me, brother, but no matter
how much Uncle Joe is worth,
133
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:59,002
there is a line
below which we will not go!
134
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,766
Jolene, Joette,
let's go in, girls.
135
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,011
We saw an ambulance.
Dr. Hemmel died.
136
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:10,441
Oh.
137
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,486
Dennis, why don't you go
and sit at the kid's table?
138
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,325
Make me.
139
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,481
Ow!
140
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,767
What's the matter with you?
Are you retarded?
141
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,569
Not according to the tests.
142
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,286
Just sit here and shut up.
143
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,840
Yolanda, help! JOETTE:
It's all over the place.
144
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,687
He has a cold, Uncle Joe. He
didn't want you to get sick.
145
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,728
Ed, one of your girls
knocked over some milk.
146
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,602
Well, Uncle Joe, I guess you'll
have to find a new doctor.
147
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:12,282
What for? Doctors, medicine.
Who needs 'em, huh, Uncle Joe?
148
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,250
You know who you should
talk to about this? Glen.
149
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,804
This man keeps himself in shape.
It's discipline.
150
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:19,961
I exercise
for a couple of weeks.
151
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,246
That's it.
I can't stick with it.
152
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,731
I really admire you, Glen.
153
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,050
Well, you know...
154
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,926
Were you able to fit your exercise
equipment into your new apartment?
155
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,166
Frank.
156
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,207
What new apartment?
157
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,528
Oh, didn't you hear,
Glen and Muriel are sep...
158
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,491
You were keeping that a secret.
159
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,961
Oh, my God. I feel horrible.
I could cut out my tongue.
160
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,689
Here's a knife.
No, really, I'm...
161
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:46,761
You split UP?
162
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:50,406
No.
163
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,328
No!
No.
164
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:54,647
Then why...
165
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,405
It's, um...
166
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,206
You know I'm trying to start
that new business, right?
167
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:08,410
Well, it takes
a lot of time and energy.
168
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:12,730
And when I'm with Muriel,
I just... I...
169
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:17,761
lam so crazy about her that
all I can think about is...
170
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:22,965
You know.
171
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,120
Yeah.
172
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,328
So, I thought
I'd move out for a while,
173
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:31,166
and I would then be able
to get some work done.
174
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,086
Anyway, Glen, it's nobody's
business what you two do.
175
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,811
I mean, you have no kids.
You're both barren.
176
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,089
Frank, I almost forgot
to ask you,
177
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,527
how is Tina's
hit-and-run case coming?
178
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,481
Hit-and-run case?
179
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,961
Yeah. You remember, Tina,
180
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,646
the night that you got drunk and
plowed into that school bus.
181
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,849
Plowed? She just scraped
some paint off it.
182
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:59,322
The brakes failed. Everyone
was fine, the kids, the nuns.
183
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,682
I just thank God she was
in a good, safe car.
184
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,081
Not one of those tiny little sports cars
like your girlfriend drives.
185
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,884
Those are...
They're death traps.
186
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,688
What are you talking about? His
girlfriend drives a Chrysler.
187
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,804
Big blue Chrysler, right, Glen?
She's not my girlfriend!
188
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,561
She's an instructor
at the gym. I mean...
189
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:22,087
I met... I left my gym bag
at the gym is what...
190
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,811
And she was bringing it back to me.
191
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,762
I guess you have a lot of time
to notice these things, Ed,
192
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,002
now that you're not working.
193
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,281
What happened?
194
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,683
Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing.
195
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,849
There was just a little cutback
at Ed's place. It was nothing.
196
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,924
And they let go of some of
the employees that were...
197
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,480
Stealing company secrets and
selling them to competitors.
198
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:46,607
Pass the butter, please.
199
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,842
That's a lie,
and I'll prove it in court!
200
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,450
This Friday, right?
201
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,010
No, we got a continuance.
202
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,527
The court dockets were too
filled with drunk driving cases.
203
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,841
I skidded on a wet spot!
204
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,200
Somebody get her a drink.
205
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,203
A drink?
Somebody get her a barrel.
206
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:03,611
Please, everyone.
207
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,768
Why must this happen
every time we get together?
208
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,083
Can't this man have some peace?
Hasn't he earned it?
209
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,128
Delivering newspapers
when he was four years old,
210
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,567
his little toes frozen because
he didn't have any shoes.
211
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:14,687
Carl, it's all right.
212
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:15,761
No, it's not all right!
213
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,763
It's like we've lost
our sense of values.
214
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,605
Maybe it's not mine to say,
but Nora and I...
215
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,291
Come up here, sweetie,
216
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,569
and Joseph and Jonas and
little Josiah on the way,
217
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,006
we lead a simple life.
218
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,243
We have each other, and I ask
you, what the heck else is there?
219
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,721
Joe-Joe,
I'm just going to the market.
220
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:33,881
Oh!
221
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,360
Molly!
222
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,041
Come here.
223
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,923
These are my nieces and nephews.
224
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,084
Everyone, this is Molly.
225
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,366
Hi.
226
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,329
Hi.
227
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,684
Douglas said you
wanted to see me.
228
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,683
Would you mind going to the market?
We're out of Oreos.
229
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,729
Well, we wouldn't be
out of Oreos, would we,
230
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,007
if somebody hadn't sucked out
all the insides,
231
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:59,283
and tossed the rest away,
you naughty boy.
232
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,370
I'm old and I'm rich. I can
eat whatever parts I want.
233
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,886
If I want to eat the goddamn
box, I'd eat the goddamn box!
234
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,961
Ooh, who wound you up today?
Better give me some money then.
235
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,280
Here.
236
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,524
Go ahead, take an extra hundred.
237
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,804
You might see
something you want.
238
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,609
You are such a dear.
239
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,240
I'll see you later.
240
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,442
Bye.
Toodles!
241
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,569
These are good melons.
242
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,608
Yeah. Mmm.
243
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,248
Sweet, juicy.
244
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,482
Uncle Joe? Who...
Hmm?
245
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:50,641
Hmm?
246
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,170
Who...
247
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,166
Oh, that's Molly.
She's living here.
248
00:14:56,640 --> 00:15:00,087
Housekeeper? Secretary?
249
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:04,370
Well, not exactly.
She's sort of, uh, my nurse.
250
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,245
Nurse?
251
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,481
Yeah.
252
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,289
I decided I wanted a nurse.
253
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,488
Someone to ease my suffering.
254
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,971
An agency sent her?
255
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,603
No, she came here
delivering a pizza one night,
256
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:23,765
and, well, we got to talking, it
turns out she'd like to be a nurse.
257
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,447
So, yeah, she helps
out in various ways.
258
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,688
She's become very special to me.
259
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,041
Yeah!
260
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,401
Oh!
261
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,209
Thank you, Fred.
262
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,282
Hello, everyone.
I'm Chris Schenkel.
263
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,923
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
264
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,889
On behalf of the Pro Bowler's
Tour, we'd like to thank
265
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,964
all the good people of Milwaukee
for their support of the tour.
266
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:40,931
The top five qualifiers tomorrow
will begin playing at 2:30.
267
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,605
Oh, shit!
268
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:47,242
You do this every time! You
ruin every vacation we've ever been on.
269
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,441
Shut up!
270
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:49,806
It's always the same,
271
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,530
"Let's just drive a little
further, a little further."
272
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,365
Then there's no place to stay and
we wind up in a shithole like this!
273
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,524
This is... This is unbelievable.
274
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,171
Everywhere I stay,
I'm next to this couple.
275
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:06,683
I mean, not literally them, but people
just like them. It's like a franchise.
276
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,489
You've made
my life a living hell!
277
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:09,686
Kiss my ass!
278
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,888
That would take all night!
279
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,131
On.
280
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:16,967
Oh, God!
281
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,962
You know, this is really stupid.
282
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:25,601
ABC gives me a suite at the Marriott
and we're at the Bates Motel.
283
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,770
Let's get out of here.
284
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:31,128
Honey, look, you know I get
embarrassed at your hotel.
285
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:32,805
Everyone always says,
286
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,609
"How does a schlepp
like McTeague
287
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,364
"afford a room
at the Marriott?"
288
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,568
"Ohm don't you know,
he sleeps with Robin Hunter,
289
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,880
"the producer
of the telecast."
290
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,203
"Really? He must screw
better than he bowls."
291
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,121
I do, don't I?
292
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:51,241
I can't take it, Robin.
I can't do it anymore.
293
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,284
What?
294
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,964
I'm giving up bowling.
295
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,166
Why?
296
00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,327
My wrist.
297
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:03,841
It's a pre-arthritic condition,
and it's not gonna get better.
298
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,001
You saw a doctor?
299
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,243
No, Al, the janitor at the
bowling alley examined it.
300
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,049
He seemed to know
what he was talking about.
301
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,160
And he took me right away.
302
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:15,047
Of course I saw a doctor!
I don't know.
303
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:18,603
Next week in Cincinnati is the
last tournament of the season.
304
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,162
I'm just gonna bowl
there and that's it.
305
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,850
Sweetheart.
306
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,929
I'm sorry.
307
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:40,371
I just wish for once I could've
finished in the top five,
308
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:45,170
gotten on the national
telecast just once!
309
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,242
That would've been nice.
310
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,844
What are you gonna do?
311
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:56,130
Well, some guys offered
to make me a partner
312
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,362
in this huge new bowling
center on Long Island.
313
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:02,650
They offered me 25% interest for a 10%
investment, 'cause, you know, I'd run it.
314
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,361
It's a good deal.
It's great.
315
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:09,446
Only I don't have the cash.
They want 300,000.
316
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,966
Whew!
So, then I thought,
317
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,611
you know, maybe
I'd be happy teaching.
318
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,400
Yeah?
Only then...
319
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,971
You'd always make
more money than me.
320
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,690
Who cares about crap like that?
321
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,127
If you're happy being a teacher,
then that makes me happy.
322
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:31,723
That's it. That's all there is.
323
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,689
Her name is Molly Richardson.
324
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,048
She's 24 years old.
She's English.
325
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:43,245
She came over here two years ago as
a nanny for a couple named Holcomb.
326
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,768
Mrs. Holcomb eventually fired
her, and when she left,
327
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,003
Mr. Holcomb attempted to kill himself.
Oh, God!
328
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,401
Miss Richardson then
bounced from job to job,
329
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,251
bikini model, physical therapist...
Ah, we're dead.
330
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:59,211
...until she got a job delivering pizzas.
Pays to have skills.
331
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,886
She moved in with your Uncle
Joe about three weeks ago,
332
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,442
and she's been there ever since.
As a nurse?
333
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,684
Well, she seems to spend
most of her time swimming.
334
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,364
In the nude. Here are some pictures.
What?
335
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,927
Whoa!
336
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,048
Oh, my God!
337
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,921
Are they having sex? Grow up, Muriel.
What do you think?
338
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,604
She's gonna get everything.
339
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,444
That's the way
these old guys are.
340
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,841
Tough as nails. Biggest son
of a bitch in the world.
341
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:35,084
She touches his shriveled up little noodle,
and his brains turn to frozen yogurt.
342
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,286
You would know.
343
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,721
She'll marry him, screw him
six feet into the ground,
344
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,001
and then get everything.
345
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,360
Well, that's our money, damn it,
346
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,011
and no English little bitch
is gonna screw us out of it.
347
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,130
Do we know if they're sleeping together?
Is there proof?
348
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,009
Well, I need more time.
349
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,521
They're humping too quick
to get pictures?
350
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,205
Let's get a better detective!
351
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,209
Yeah, how do we know
if you're any good?
352
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:57,089
She was good enough
to find out you were fired
353
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,960
and that Glen left Muriel.
That's pretty good.
354
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,289
Listen, my guy knew about Tina's accident
while the car was still spinning.
355
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:03,361
Oh, Yeah'?
356
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,729
Look at these pictures she got
of Glen and that gym instructor.
357
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,882
Oh, yeah.
358
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:10,851
Mmm.
359
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:13,680
That's not me.
360
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:17,082
Well, it looks like you, and that's
all that matters.
361
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,208
Use your gun!
Glen, cut it out.
362
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,408
Come here. Stop this.
363
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:25,441
Oh, stop it! Don't you see
what's happening here?
364
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:29,247
Yeah, you're out of scotch.
Oh, Tina, go lie down.
365
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,090
We caused this!
366
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,687
All the backbiting and the
greed and the detectives.
367
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,922
We've made each other
look filthy.
368
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,048
Well, now it's all
come home to roost.
369
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,885
'Cause not one of us
has the credibility
370
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,761
to go to Uncle Joe and convince him
that this girl is just after his money.
371
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:51,164
It's not our fault! It's his.
Sweet old Uncle Joe.
372
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,801
I mean, we were all decent human
beings 'til he got his hooks into us.
373
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:58,248
Except for Frank. Frank was
always a son of a bitch.
374
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,482
It's true.
Uncle Joe does this to us.
375
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,240
He pulls our strings
and makes us dance.
376
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,290
He's the devil. Every time you draw
a line in the dirt and you say,
377
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,926
"Okay, I'll go just
this far and no farther,"
378
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,002
he draws another line just
an inch farther and you say,
379
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,680
"Why not? I mean,
it's just another inch.
380
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,688
"I've already come
this far, already."
381
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,764
Then one day you look back and you
can't even see where you started.
382
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,448
Well, why don't we all
agree to stop here?
383
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,409
Let this bimbo have his money.
384
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,006
I mean, isn't our self-respect
worth more than any inheritance?
385
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,891
Ed, we're just people.
386
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,486
Nobody could walk away
from that much money.
387
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:33,885
Daniel did.
388
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,966
Who's Daniel?
Our cousin.
389
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,682
What happened to him?
He called Uncle Joe
390
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:45,765
a mean, greedy, cruel, grasping,
evil, manipulative old man.
391
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,126
We all did.
392
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,601
The difference is
Daniel said it to his face.
393
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,648
Grapes.
What?
394
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,131
Grapes.
They were having grapes,
395
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,851
and Daniel started screaming about how
the migrant workers were oppressed
396
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,040
and we shouldn't eat grapes.
397
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,249
So Uncle Joe told him
the migrant workers
398
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,163
could go screw themselves
at Macy's window,
399
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,765
and Daniel let him have it.
400
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,481
I'll never forget that night. Do you
remember the look on the old man's face?
401
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,404
He died a little that night.
402
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:15,121
Daniel went away.
He just went away.
403
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,487
Took his wife and son and...
404
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,843
- Oh, man, did we hate his son!
- How come?
405
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,926
Oh, he was so cute, you know?
406
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,321
You just wanted to smash
his little face in.
407
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,241
Where is he now?
Daniel's in Brazil,
408
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,369
or somewhere tryin' to save the
rain forest or some shit like that.
409
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,649
His wife died a couple of
years ago, and young Daniel,
410
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:39,043
I think he's some kind of athlete.
A bowler, I think.
411
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:40,201
Could we find him?
412
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,648
Uh, excuse me.
413
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:58,566
Yeah!
414
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,886
Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, come here.
What's happening?
415
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,287
I've never seen him bowl like this.
He's in the zone.
416
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,647
Where does he stand?
I mean, what's...
417
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,051
Right now, fifth.
418
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,444
Fifth? You mean he can make the
finals, he could be on TV tomorrow?
419
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:12,521
Looks that way.
420
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:24,045
Yea! Whoo!
421
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,924
I am on fire! I know.
You're fifth.
422
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,606
Danny, if I tell you something,
will it make you nervous?
423
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,444
No way. I'm in the zone.
Okay. Okay, then.
424
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,407
If you get on the telecast tomorrow, I can
turn it into an enormous break for you.
425
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,280
I can build a whole show
around you. Cinderella man.
426
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,568
Even if you lose the first
match, we can still build it up.
427
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,281
Chris will interview you.
You'll be funny, charming.
428
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,202
Next year you could be
wearing an ABC blazer.
429
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,449
Ooh, I got a chubby. Danny, you've
got to get on the telecast tomorrow,
430
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,080
you've gotta finish
no worse than fifth.
431
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,210
I'm in the zone.
I'm up.
432
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,403
Come on, Danny!
433
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:31,247
Yes! Yes!
434
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:39,966
Whoo-hoo!
435
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:57,846
What's he doin'?
436
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,481
Danny! It's nothin'. I just
lost my line a little bit.
437
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,847
Danny, Petraglia just
finished with a 289.
438
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,686
What? So?
439
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,445
You're still okay. You're
still fifth, but it's close.
440
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,086
All right, so what do I need?
441
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,686
Okay, last frame. You need
a mark and a three count.
442
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,448
A strike or a spare?
And a three count.
443
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,848
Okay, I got it.
I got it. It's okay.
444
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,209
Get 'em, Danny.
445
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:33,441
He seem nervous to you?
446
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,841
Couldn't pull a pin
out of his ass with a tractor.
447
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:50,522
On!
448
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,326
When they lose this long,
they don't know how to win.
449
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:57,966
Come on, Danny!
450
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:30,369
Yeah!
451
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,607
He got it! That's what
I'm talkin' about.
452
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,768
All right.
All right.
453
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,364
All right.
Just three more pins.
454
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,086
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be right back.
Danny.
455
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,206
Then we'll celebrate.
456
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,090
Oh, my God!
457
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,845
Aw!
458
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,206
Feeling better?
459
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,044
I'm goin' out
to get some more liquor.
460
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,962
I don't think
that's a good idea.
461
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,805
Really? I think
it's a great idea.
462
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:37,246
You're in your underwear.
463
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,088
What, now you're tellin' me I
can't go out in my underwear?
464
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:42,525
Danny...
What?
465
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,601
Just because you're very successful,
and I'm a miserable failure,
466
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,489
you think you can tell me
what to do?
467
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,531
Well, let me tell you something,
Miss High-Powered-Network-
468
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:55,082
Big-Shot-Don't-l-Look-Hot-
In-My-ABC-Blazer Career Woman,
469
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,323
lam still a man, and if I want
to go out in my underwear,
470
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,131
I am going out in my underwear!
471
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:05,968
If I want to go out with no underwear,
I'm going out with no underwear.
472
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,328
You got that?
Go ahead.
473
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:20,002
Okay, now I guess
we know who's boss, huh?
474
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,164
Honey, I think you need a doctor.
Why don't you just say it?
475
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,249
Say what?
You know.
476
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:30,122
"Danny, you blew it. You choked. You
gagged. You had it and you lost it.
477
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,284
"It wasn't your wrist, Danny.
You never had the guts to win."
478
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,602
What a shitty thing to say!
I didn't say it!
479
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,047
You're thinkin' it.
Well, yeah, I'm thinking it.
480
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,130
You hit a car.
481
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:54,931
You could've killed somebody.
482
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,843
The way I bowl?
483
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,371
You know...
484
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:06,247
I never regretted a moment
until tonight.
485
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,208
All those years of losing,
486
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,927
this was the first time
I felt like a loser.
487
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:20,449
Come here. Come here.
488
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,080
Okay.
489
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:38,241
Oh, great!
Now I'm impotent.
490
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,045
We just kissed for two seconds.
491
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,726
No, it never takes me this long.
Usually we're showering by now.
492
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:46,526
Oh, that's probably the manager.
493
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,850
Who are you?
Daniel McTeague?
494
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,210
No shit.
That's my name too.
495
00:30:56,280 --> 00:31:00,285
No, no. I'm Laura Dinsmore.
I'm a private detective.
496
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,046
You're a detective? Great. Yeah.
497
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:04,690
Help me find my pants.
498
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,211
Mr. McTeague...
Just a minute.
499
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:19,843
Do you have any where she's leaning
over a saddle looking coy?
500
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,885
Is your father still in Brazil?
501
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:26,490
Dad?
Yeah.
502
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:30,327
No, that was years ago.
503
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:35,727
Since then he's been in, uh,
Ethiopia, Chile, Uruguay...
504
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,370
He was with the Kurds
for a while.
505
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,284
Wherever there's injustice in
the world, you can find my dad.
506
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,529
You see, you two
have never met him.
507
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,649
He's a great man.
508
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:49,367
But when I was a kid,
509
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:52,888
he used to give away my toys
to the poorer kids.
510
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,328
Not just the broken toys,
I mean the good toys.
511
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,767
And then he'd want me
to be happy about it.
512
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,766
The family was thinking,
if your dad would come back
513
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,842
and try and make up
with his cousin Joe...
514
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,526
Look, my dad hated these people.
515
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,051
He said they worship
money above all things.
516
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,846
Especially Uncle Joe.
I mean, they're just...
517
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:21,362
Why don't you go back then? If you
could help in this situation,
518
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,445
you'd share in the inheritance,
whichever relative got it.
519
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:28,042
Oh, please. What, I'm
gonna become like them?
520
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,371
Kiss up to my uncle,
waiting for him to die?
521
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:35,684
No, I'd rather the naked limey
chick got the money. Sorry.
522
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,411
No. It's nice
to meet an honest man.
523
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,529
Especially in your family.
524
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,284
Oh, uh, sorry about your car.
525
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,488
That's all right.
It's a rental.
526
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,087
Look, if you change your
mind, give me a call.
527
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,489
- Night.
- Good night.
528
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:08,246
You coming inside?
He taught me how to bowl.
529
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,085
Who did?
Uncle Joe.
530
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:12,921
Really?
531
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,929
What do you think, honey?
Should I go back there?
532
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:23,327
Well, I mean,
if you hate him anyway...
533
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:27,082
No, I don't hate him.
No, my dad hated him.
534
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:29,927
I was just a kid.
He was really nice to me.
535
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:32,206
Well...
536
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,609
Oh, who am I kidding?
537
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,963
I was thinking of going back
to see my uncle because I...
538
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:46,442
Because I thought he might loan me the
money to buy into that bowling alley.
539
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,929
So, what's wrong with that? People borrow
money from their relatives all the time.
540
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,809
Hey.
Yeah, but with my family...
541
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,531
You know you're a decent person.
Just decide what you want to do,
542
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,602
and don't beat yourself up
over it, okay?
543
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,646
Yeah, maybe my relatives
have changed.
544
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,242
Maybe they're not
so ridiculous anymore.
545
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:26,725
Happy birthday, sir.
546
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:27,961
Blow 'em out, Uncle...
547
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:29,724
Where are my presents?
I like presents.
548
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,404
Especially from people
who love me.
549
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,482
And who would that be?
550
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,845
We've got something very
special for you, Uncle Joe.
551
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:39,088
I said, cut the crap!
552
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,845
Come on. Hey! Stop it. I
could see your panties.
553
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:47,051
Cool it!
554
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:55,282
A movie? I haven't liked the
movies since DeMille died.
555
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,567
You'll like this one. Yeah?
556
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,044
Should the kids leave the room?
557
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,128
No, no.
I'll get the lights.
558
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,128
- Leave it alone!
- Stop it!
559
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:07,690
Shh!
560
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,051
See, I told you.
561
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,362
Shh!
562
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:29,089
Go ahead. Tell me more. Tell me
about what's happening in Asia...
563
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:32,569
Remember this party, Uncle Joe? You
hired people to come in and film it.
564
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,361
We shouldn't even have
advisers in that country!
565
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:43,490
We're gonna get involved in a full Asian
land war. You're such a beatnik, Daniel.
566
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:47,326
You've always been a beatnik. Sandals
and white socks, that's you.
567
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:51,008
The French, they knew when to get out.
The French?
568
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,447
Hitler offered them a bottle of wine
in exchange for their whole country.
569
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:54,971
They took it!
570
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:59,246
Why are you filming this? I'm
not paying you to film this.
571
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:01,610
Where's my special boy?
572
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:06,082
Where's Uncle Joe's special boy?
Here I am, Uncle Joe.
573
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:09,369
Carl, get in touch with reality.
Where's Little Danny?
574
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,922
Where's Uncle Joe's
special little boy?
575
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:17,562
I'm right here. There you are.
576
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,242
Film this. This is why I hired you.
You gonna do Durante?
577
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,210
Yeah.
Good boy. Come on.
578
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,888
Inka dinka doo
579
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:35,523
A dinka dee A dinka doo
580
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:40,083
Oh, what a tune for crooning
581
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,409
Inka dinka doo A dinka dee
582
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:46,807
A dinka doo
583
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:51,409
It's got the whole world
croon... Swooning
584
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,285
Eskimo belles up in...
585
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,804
Stop the music.
Stop the music.
586
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:03,966
Folks, I want to welcome you to my
Great-Uncle Joe's 50th birthday party.
587
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,771
Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!
588
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,083
Remember, Uncle Joe...
589
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,322
Start off each day with a song
590
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:15,171
Even when things go wrong
591
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:19,208
You'll feel better
You'll even look better
592
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:22,564
I'm here to tell you
You got to be a go-getter
593
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,450
'Cause you know
that you can't go wrong
594
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:29,730
When you start off
each day with a song
595
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,250
Yeah!
596
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:38,681
Good boy.
597
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:43,287
Uncle Joe,
598
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:44,930
here's our present.
599
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:52,361
Who the hell is this?
600
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:55,568
It's Danny, Uncle Joe.
Danny, Junior.
601
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,166
We found him for you
for your birthday.
602
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:00,561
Danny?
603
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,968
Uncle Joe, happy birthday.
604
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:07,884
Little Danny!
605
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:10,884
Hug him, go hug him.
606
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,371
Stop the music, huh?
607
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,886
Hey, hey. Hey. Hey.
608
00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:21,210
What a present!
609
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,044
Hey, is your, uh...
610
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,763
What?
Are you alone?
611
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,011
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
612
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,882
Well, let's go break the piñata.
613
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:42,005
Come on, you can do it.
Hit the pig!
614
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:46,721
Douglas looks the same as he did
25 years ago. This is his son.
615
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,483
Come on, Douglas.
You can do it!
616
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,449
That's right, Douglas.
Keep going.
617
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,727
So, your cousins found you
and brought you here, huh?
618
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,201
Yeah, it was, uh,
it was their idea.
619
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,090
I wonder what made them
suddenly decide to do that.
620
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:09,646
Don't know, huh?
621
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:11,726
I couldn't...
622
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,405
They tell you about Molly?
623
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:16,201
Yeah.
624
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:18,687
Yeah, they did.
625
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:22,526
Come on, you can do
better than that! Whoo!
626
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,364
She's your new nurse, fight'?
627
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:32,490
She's more than a nurse.
She's a companion.
628
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:34,161
What do you think about that?
629
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:38,369
Hey, you worked hard.
You're entitled.
630
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,608
What do you really think?
631
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:47,130
I think it's ridiculous. I mean, I'm
watching you. You can barely wear your hat.
632
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:53,248
Douglas, stop playing around
and fetch me a beer.
633
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,483
My pleasure, sir.
634
00:39:56,720 --> 00:39:58,290
Well, what are you two
talkin' about?
635
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:01,801
I was telling Danny about Molly,
636
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:04,764
how important
she's become to me.
637
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:09,645
I've been thinking that she's the person
in the world who's become closest to me.
638
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,766
And the person I'd most like
to see have some happiness,
639
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,808
some good fortune.
640
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,291
On the other hand,
seeing Little Daniel again
641
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,170
has made me think about family.
642
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,044
Ah. After all is said and done,
643
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,566
maybe it's family.
Family comes first, hmm?
644
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:35,522
Molly! What do you think?
Does family come first?
645
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,920
I don't know. I suppose it
depends on the family, really.
646
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:42,890
How wise. How deep.
How pithy. Ah.
647
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,968
Eh, family, friends,
648
00:40:47,720 --> 00:40:49,210
who can choose?
649
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,883
- Know what I'd like?
- What is it, Uncle Joe?
650
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,725
I'd like Danny to do
Jimmy Durante for me.
651
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:57,881
Yes!
652
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:00,161
Yeah, come on!
653
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,363
That would be just so happy-making.
Yeah, happy-making.
654
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:07,246
No. Uh, Jesus.
655
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:09,486
This is pathetic.
656
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:10,971
Shut up and do Durante.
657
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,321
You do Durante!
This is demented.
658
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,168
This wasn't such a good
present after all.
659
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,362
Molly, honey, let's go inside.
660
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,283
But, Joe-Joe,
your family's here to see you.
661
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:23,600
I mean, they all
want to be with you.
662
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,167
But I'd rather just be with you.
663
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:31,282
All right, then. First let
me get some sweeties.
664
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,050
Danny, are you married?
665
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,248
No.
Girlfriend?
666
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:38,687
Uh, yeah, I have a girlfriend.
667
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,845
Bring her around tomorrow,
2:00. We'll go swimming.
668
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,162
Swimming. Great.
669
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:04,446
I feel like a goddamn tea bag.
670
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,802
Sorry, sir.
671
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,044
Ah!
672
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,531
Let me ask you, Robin.
Uh, yes, sir?
673
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:20,764
Do you ever produce
basketball games?
674
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,043
I will be, this next season.
675
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:27,364
You know what I hate? When they're
playing and the camera's on the stands,
676
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:31,087
on some moron, and his face is painted
blue and white, and I miss a basket.
677
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:32,810
I hate that!
Yeah, so do I.
678
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:34,211
Hey, Danny, what about you?
679
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,563
You're gonna bowl the rest of your
life, hit those senior tours?
680
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:42,170
Actually, I've given up bowling.
I, uh, have this injury.
681
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,281
Yeah, it's a rough sport.
682
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:53,205
I was, uh,
gonna go back to college.
683
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:54,930
You know, get a teaching degree.
684
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:56,968
You'll never make
the same money as Robin.
685
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:04,890
Well, we've decided that
that's not important.
686
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:06,966
Right.
687
00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:11,326
Douglas!
Yes, sir?
688
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,686
Much obliged, sir.
May I go and change now, sir?
689
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,366
You can go dance the Hully
Gully for all I care.
690
00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:21,721
Thank you, sir.
691
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:26,847
Yeah, I know teaching's a
wonderful thing, very noble.
692
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:30,169
But you've been bowling 10 years. You're
telling me that leads to nothing?
693
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:31,805
Just throw those 10 years away?
694
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:33,760
Well, I...
695
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:41,327
What?
696
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,640
I, uh, I have this opportunity
to invest in a bowling center.
697
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:48,641
It's an excellent deal.
698
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:52,044
But I'm, uh...
Short of money.
699
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:54,440
Yeah.
700
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:57,364
How much?
It's $300,000.
701
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:07,400
Danny, come in the pool.
702
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:13,571
Just“
703
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:26,291
ls that salt water?
704
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:28,408
Yeah. Helps me float.
705
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:30,922
Huh.
This belt's not enough.
706
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:33,769
I can't use my legs.
707
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:36,805
I tell you what. I'll
wrestle you for the money.
708
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:39,443
What?
I'll wrestle you.
709
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:42,401
If you win,
I'll give you $300,000.
710
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,411
If I win, you owe me nothing.
711
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:51,765
Come out here in the deep end. Show that
girlfriend of yours what you're made of.
712
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:55,561
Oh, yeah, definitely. I'm gonna
beat up an elderly crippled man,
713
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:58,086
and she's gonna say,
"My, what a catch!"
714
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:01,967
No. Can your feet touch?
715
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:04,487
Good!
716
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,000
- Danny!
- Come on, bowler!
717
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:14,127
Help me! Oh, man!
718
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,965
Oh, come on, Joe-Joe,
that's enough. Let him up.
719
00:45:36,720 --> 00:45:39,485
I win the first round.
Two out of three. No!
720
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,169
You heard him.
He quit.
721
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:48,966
Where is he?
722
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:52,169
Yo u o Kay? Get me out, honey.
Honey!
723
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:55,722
Oh, Jesus!
You got the grip of a bear!
724
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,171
Forty years
of lifting scrap metal.
725
00:45:59,240 --> 00:46:01,686
And I like to win.
726
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:04,409
Yeah, well.
727
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:07,326
I'll give you the money.
728
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,842
$300,000. It's yours.
729
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:17,365
You, uh, you mean like a loan?
730
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:20,091
No, no, no.
It's yours. A gift.
731
00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:24,449
Because you're different from the others.
You're better.
732
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,808
And for all the times you
made me laugh.
733
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:30,128
Inka dinka dink A dinka dink
734
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:32,440
Uncle Joe, this is, uh...
735
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,081
Still see your father?
736
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:39,208
What? Oh, yeah, sure.
I see him about once a year.
737
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:43,080
I bail him out of jail, and we make
an afternoon of it. Strange man.
738
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:47,849
Well, yeah, strange, sure but, you know,
with principles and he believes in 'em.
739
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:49,888
I want you to call him
from here.
740
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:52,046
Really?
Yeah.
741
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:56,007
That's really great because, you
know, it's been too many years,
742
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:58,003
and whatever your disagreements,
I think it's silly...
743
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:01,243
Call him now. Tell him you came to me
for money, and I'm giving it to you.
744
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,685
And you realize
he was wrong and I was right.
745
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:07,764
And you need what I've got more
than you need what he's got.
746
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,241
Tell him that,
and I'll give you the money.
747
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,247
Robin, we're leaving.
748
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,640
You know, there's something
sicker about you than your legs.
749
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,930
How about you, Molly?
Want to wrestle?
750
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:57,166
Douglas!
751
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:21,005
Molly!
You had us worried.
752
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,451
About what?
753
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,000
We're all here visiting.
We put Uncle Joe to bed.
754
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:30,165
We realized how late it was, and
we got concerned about you.
755
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:36,009
Well, Monday nights I go to this newsstand
to get the new TV Guide for Joe.
756
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:40,000
He likes to get it
as early as possible,
757
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,566
so he can circle everything
he wants to watch.
758
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:44,849
Does he circle your ass?
759
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:49,286
You really are
a stupid sod, aren't you?
760
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,044
I'm going to bed.
761
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:54,442
Uncle Joe was kind of
sprawled out up there.
762
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,205
You might want to give him
a nudge, push him to one side.
763
00:49:00,720 --> 00:49:02,848
You think I'm bonking
the old gent, don't you?
764
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:04,081
Yeah, we do.
765
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,569
Let me tell you
something, handsome.
766
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:13,964
If I were having sex with your
Uncle Joe, he'd be dead by now.
767
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:17,124
Oh, yeah, that's right. You're
just his nurse.
768
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:20,363
Yeah, I believe that. Excuse me a second.
769
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:25,043
Look, I'm no more a nurse than you are a
human being. I'm here because I'm fun.
770
00:49:25,240 --> 00:49:29,245
And I'm fun to look at. I don't mind
letting him look because I like it here.
771
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:32,845
I like the car, I like the
house, I like the comfort.
772
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:37,562
My life hasn't always been very
comfortable. Also, I like your Uncle Joe.
773
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:42,204
He's tough, he's funny and he's nice to me.
But I'm not a whore.
774
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:46,045
And if he asked me
to sleep with him, I'd leave.
775
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,047
Good night.
776
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,807
It took you one day
to get rid of Danny.
777
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:55,089
One day, that's pretty impressive,
but that is not our last move!
778
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:59,768
Move? You mean
Danny's part of you?
779
00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:01,490
Look, up until now
we've been nice.
780
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:03,604
But these are the finals, honey,
781
00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:05,927
and we're divin' for
every loose ball. What?
782
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:09,243
I didn't like the Beatles,
and I don't like you!
783
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:12,091
You know, you're insane.
Listen!
784
00:50:12,240 --> 00:50:13,571
People have accidents.
785
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:17,807
What?
786
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:19,848
Frank, what are you saying?
787
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:23,082
I'm saying people
have accidents, that's all.
788
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,367
Got you, boss.
Okay.
789
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:29,241
Take over.
Yes, sir.
790
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:31,411
You still work here.
791
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:34,484
I love this place.
792
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:37,684
Who wouldn't?
793
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,681
Well, I'm here. What did
you want to see me about?
794
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:46,403
Okay, short and sweet. I figured you
came back sucking around for money,
795
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:48,562
that you were like the others.
796
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:53,524
Maybe you're not.
So I apologize. Okay?
797
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:58,163
Go home now.
God, that was lovely.
798
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:00,524
I'm gettin' a little weepy.
799
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:04,090
You're still a funny kid.
800
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,886
Not as cute as you
used to be though.
801
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:10,047
Yeah, well, you're
no Monet yourself.
802
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:14,044
Well, I lived in the streets 'til I was 20.
What do you expect?
803
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:17,047
I was homeless before it was popular.
804
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:19,805
Can we go inside a second?
805
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:26,361
I'm sorry that after all these years I
even brought up the subject of money.
806
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:27,521
Okay?
I didn't mean to.
807
00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:33,050
Maybe I did, I don't know.
But anyway, I'm sorry I did.
808
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:36,403
Still want the money?
Jesus!
809
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,287
You don't let up. Look.
810
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:42,290
Money's money, okay? I need
it just like everybody else.
811
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:46,970
But money is not gonna turn me into
some sycophantic, ass-licking whacko.
812
00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:49,767
I have work to do.
813
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:52,489
Thanks for coming over.
814
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:58,409
Oh, uh, before you go, uh, could
you get me a cup of water?
815
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:00,925
It's hot in here.
816
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:03,448
Yeah, okay.
817
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:14,122
Hello?
Long Island Hauling?
818
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:17,284
I got a load
sitting out here for a week.
819
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:19,647
Fieldstone, 8-5...
820
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:22,601
What?
821
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,649
What do you mean, they're
out of business 25 years...
822
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:28,848
I call them every day. I...
823
00:53:37,720 --> 00:53:39,085
Uncle Joe?
824
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,571
Joe?
Twenty-five years.
825
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:52,245
Should I go get someone?
826
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:53,526
Are you...
827
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:58,644
I'm gonna get someone.
Danny!
828
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:04,082
Stay here.
Are you all right?
829
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:08,765
I have gaps.
830
00:54:09,240 --> 00:54:11,481
Lapses. L“
How often?
831
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:14,809
More lately.
I'm hurting the business.
832
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:18,285
Wha... No. I mean, I'm sure...
Danny.
833
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:21,483
If your cousins find out,
they'll take me to court.
834
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:23,760
They'll declare me incompetent.
835
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:26,691
They'll pick me clean
like buzzards. They'll...
836
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:29,611
They'll put me away.
837
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:35,447
I have an idea.
Lock the door, quick.
838
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,405
Get a chair.
Come on, come on.
839
00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:46,208
Uh, it's really
my lawyer's idea.
840
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:47,766
Okay.
841
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:49,962
He says that I can
turn all my affairs,
842
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:52,486
give everything over
to one person now,
843
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:56,880
before this gets worse,
which it will.
844
00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:01,128
Someone I trust
who'll take care of me,
845
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:03,210
take care of the business.
846
00:55:04,720 --> 00:55:05,801
You understand?
847
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:08,041
Yeah.
848
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:13,770
I don't want to go into a home.
849
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:17,205
I wouldn't let that happen.
850
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:22,046
You wouldn't?
851
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,880
No. You understand
what this means?
852
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:27,765
This person gets control
of my money now.
853
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:31,242
Not when I'm dead, now.
All of it.
854
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:36,530
Yes.
855
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:41,401
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna call my lawyers,
856
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,562
set up a meeting for next week.
857
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:48,362
I'm gonna sign these papers and
turn everything over to Molly.
858
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:50,090
Right. Because...
859
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:53,808
To Molly?
Yes.
860
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:57,887
She's been so kind to me.
Nobody's ever been so kind.
861
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:01,002
You're gonna give everything
to her? To Molly?
862
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:02,889
Yeah, who did you think I meant?
863
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:08,283
Oh... You thought
I meant you.
864
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,007
No! No!
865
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:15,723
But Molly.
866
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:17,564
You think it's a mistake.
867
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:19,531
I don't know.
868
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:21,125
I wanna make love to her.
869
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:24,847
Joe.
870
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:29,722
If I did this, she'd make
love to me, don't you think?
871
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:32,531
Joe, look.
872
00:56:33,240 --> 00:56:37,086
A lot of women will make love
to you for a lot less money.
873
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,561
No. I want her.
874
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:42,241
Joe, this doesn't sound
so good to me.
875
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:45,563
I just don't think that
you're being...
876
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:47,927
I just don't think
that you've had time
877
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,241
to think this through.
878
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,163
Oh, I'm so tired.
I'm so tired of thinking.
879
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:57,124
Who should I trust?
Who's not just after my money?
880
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:01,205
Oh, Danny, help me.
I'm exhausted.
881
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:05,766
Maybe I should leave
all the money to you.
882
00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:16,881
Well, why don't we talk
about this later, okay?
883
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:19,088
All right.
In the meantime,
884
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:23,131
I think it would be best if
you just don't do anything.
885
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:25,009
All right.
886
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:28,721
I'm so tired.
Get Douglas to take me home.
887
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:30,086
I'll be right back.
888
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,651
Carlson shoots for three
and scores!
889
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:53,440
Give me the guy in the stands
with the blue and white face.
890
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:56,171
That's good.
Hold it. Take it.
891
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:58,163
It was the saddest thing
you ever saw, honey.
892
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:01,562
I mean, this tough old guy, and he just
sort of shriveled up right in front of me.
893
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:04,880
Dick, get ready to throw in a commercial.
Honey, I'm supposed to be concentrating.
894
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:06,566
Crow inside lay-up, scores!
895
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,764
You missed a basket! Dick,
sign off and go to commercial.
896
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,167
Three minutes
to go-Music, roll it!
897
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:13,320
We're a minute under, Robin.
898
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:15,727
You missed a basket while you were
on the guy with the painted face.
899
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:16,801
People hate that.
900
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,969
Wait a minute. Who's
directing this, you or me?
901
00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:21,771
Let me check.
902
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:26,442
That's my ass. That's my ass
in the director's chair.
903
00:58:26,520 --> 00:58:28,841
Shit!
I must be the director.
904
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:31,525
Stan, we're back in 20.
905
00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:33,364
No, no, it's okay.
This guy'll do it.
906
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:35,966
Here you go.
Slide right in here, slugger.
907
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:37,407
All right.
908
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,522
Give me a wide shot
then we zoom in... Ten.
909
00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:41,364
Get outta here!
Get him outta here!
910
00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:43,369
I'm just gettin' the hang of this.
Come on, let's go!
911
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,682
Outside. Hey, it was nice
meetin' ya and your ass!
912
00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:47,645
That's nice.
913
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:50,971
Give me another shot
of the painted face.
914
00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:53,609
What a pinhead.
915
00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:55,682
Yeah, well, right now I have
to work with that pinhead,
916
00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:58,371
so, uh, I'll meet you at...
Oh, no, it's all right.
917
00:58:58,440 --> 00:59:02,286
I just wanted to let you know that I'm gonna
be moving in with Uncle Joe for a while.
918
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:05,370
Really? Yeah. Honey, I
gotta keep an eye on him.
919
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:07,966
He's not all there.
920
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:11,249
He's thinkin' of givin' that
naked pizza girl $20 million.
921
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:14,211
Yeah, that does seem wrong.
Yeah.
922
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:15,731
But who should get it?
Your cousins?
923
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:18,007
God, what a crew.
Klingons.
924
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:21,005
Well, he sort of mentioned
that he might...
925
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:22,964
What?
926
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:26,084
That he might give it to me.
927
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:29,404
I mean, I'm not taking
it that seriously.
928
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:31,881
I mean, that's not why
I'm going over there.
929
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:34,486
I mean, I'm just
worried about him.
930
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:39,205
Still...
931
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:42,289
It's a funny idea, isn't it?
932
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:47,006
You, me, married.
933
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:49,843
Living in that big house.
934
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:52,604
Yeah, it's funny.
935
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:59,082
Money slips through my fingers
936
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:04,969
Don't forget, you owe me a
dollar for the shoes.
937
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:10,529
Anyway, as I was saying,
938
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:14,204
my lawyer says
I can turn all my money,
939
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:18,046
everything,
over to one person, now.
940
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:20,882
You understand?
Yes.
941
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:23,724
I don't wanna end up in a home.
942
01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:25,371
You won't.
943
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:29,050
I'm gonna do it.
944
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:31,362
I'm gonna call my lawyers and
set up a meeting for next week,
945
01:00:31,480 --> 01:00:35,041
and I'm gonna turn
everything over to Danny.
946
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,645
Danny?
In fact, it was his idea.
947
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:44,410
Who did you think I...
948
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:46,046
Oh.
949
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:48,570
You thought I meant you.
950
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:53,448
No, no, I just... Molly,
what would people say?
951
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:57,168
How would it look if...
Look, Joe,
952
01:00:57,240 --> 01:01:00,130
what do you really know
about this bloke?
953
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:02,044
I mean, you haven't
seen him in 25 years.
954
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:04,805
He shows up here wanting money
for a bowling alley.
955
01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:08,888
I don't know.
I don't know who to trust.
956
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:13,005
Maybe I should leave
all my money to you.
957
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:24,281
Joe-Joe.
958
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:31,241
Yes! Whoa!
Hey, did you see that?
959
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:33,126
Yeah.
960
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:39,041
Excuse me. You have a call
from Washington, D.C., sir.
961
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:40,610
I'll take it upstairs.
962
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:47,125
You stay here with Danny.
Talk. Enjoy yourself.
963
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:49,210
Let's go, Douglas.
964
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:56,484
You're working for your
cousins, aren't you?
965
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,162
Wait a minute.
How... Who...
966
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:04,569
Oh, they let it slip out the other night
just before they threatened to kill me.
967
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:06,961
They did what?
968
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:13,649
You tell your cousins
I'm not afraid of them.
969
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:16,848
And you leave Joe alone.
970
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:20,722
You keep your breasts
off his eyebrows.
971
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:26,087
Hey, you little...
972
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,686
Mommy!
973
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:35,401
It's good.
974
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:38,843
What's happening, wonder boy?
975
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:40,930
I mean, look at this.
976
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:46,601
Her tongue is practically
in his wallet.
977
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:50,929
What are you drinkin'?
978
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,687
I... It's a, um, a 7UP.
979
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:55,769
I'm not much of a drinker.
980
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:57,246
You will be.
981
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:01,603
There's something
I wanted to ask you about.
982
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:05,850
Did you go and see
Molly, and, uh... No.
983
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:08,127
Let me finish, all right?
984
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:14,211
Did you go and see Molly
and threaten to kill her?
985
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:17,848
What? Did...
986
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:21,049
You see how evil she is? You
see what we're dealing with?
987
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:24,806
We went to her to ask her
988
01:03:24,960 --> 01:03:29,807
if Joe's taking his medication,
you know, for his circulation.
989
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:34,528
She said, "That's for me to know
and for you to worry about."
990
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:36,405
She said that?
991
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:41,520
Then I said, "I could kill you for
that." Okay, now you know the truth.
992
01:03:41,800 --> 01:03:42,926
God.
993
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:46,566
The first couple of days I
was here she seemed so nice.
994
01:03:46,760 --> 01:03:49,331
Yeah, that's before she saw
you as a threat. Right.
995
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:52,400
Maybe we should have a judge declare
him incompetent, throw him in a home.
996
01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:54,007
A home?
997
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:57,360
I mean, you know,
for his own protection.
998
01:03:57,680 --> 01:03:59,921
I hear things at the scrap yard.
999
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:01,968
There is something
wrong with him.
1000
01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:05,490
He screws things up.
He makes crazy deals.
1001
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:07,324
He forgets deals he's made.
1002
01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:10,324
Danny, have you
noticed anything?
1003
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:13,285
Anything we could use
to put the old man away?
1004
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:17,770
Uh, no.
1005
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:22,448
Keep your eyes open, and, for god sake, do
something. That's what you're here for.
1006
01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:28,803
Joe. Joe! Joe.
1007
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:31,970
Here, have some water.
1008
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:35,806
Cough it up.
1009
01:04:35,960 --> 01:04:40,249
Joe, drink some water!
1010
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:43,410
Joe!
1011
01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:49,131
That's it.
1012
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:54,481
Piece of fruit.
1013
01:04:55,440 --> 01:04:56,680
She tried to kill him.
1014
01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:00,563
She knows he has a narrow gullet. All the
McTeagues have narrow gullets. Swallowing...
1015
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:03,484
Frank, shut your mouth. She's the
only one who tried to help me.
1016
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:07,281
I tried to help you, Uncle
Joe, but Carl stopped me!
1017
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:10,523
Liar! Happy Birthday, Uncle Joe!
1018
01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:14,810
That was last week.
1019
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:17,891
You people are...
1020
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:20,921
Come on, Molly.
1021
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:23,484
I've lost my appetite.
1022
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:30,929
I've made a decision.
1023
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:42,681
Here I am, Uncle Joe.
1024
01:05:47,520 --> 01:05:50,808
Hello, folks.
This is Jimmy Durante.
1025
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:54,049
Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!
1026
01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:56,323
Inka dinka doo
1027
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:59,251
A dinka dee A dinka doo
1028
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:02,927
Oh, what a tune for croonin '
1029
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:04,411
Danny.
No, honey.
1030
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:06,568
Inka dinka doo
1031
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:09,530
A dinka dee A dinka doo
1032
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:13,047
It's got the whole
world swoonin'
1033
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:17,089
Stop the music!
1034
01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:19,851
Everybody wants
to get into the act!
1035
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:22,731
Remember, Uncle Joe...
1036
01:06:23,120 --> 01:06:26,044
You gotta start off
each day with a song
1037
01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:29,924
Even when things go wrong
1038
01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:33,010
You'll feel better
You'll even look better
1039
01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:35,811
I'm here to tell ya that
you'll be a go-getter
1040
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,731
'Cause you know that
things can't go wrong
1041
01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:41,491
When you start off
each day with a song
1042
01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:44,171
Just those in wheelchairs!
1043
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:47,364
'Cause you know that
things can't go wrong
1044
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:50,848
When you start off each day
with a song Big finish!
1045
01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:54,209
When you start off each day
1046
01:06:54,320 --> 01:06:57,847
With a song
1047
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:01,040
Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!
1048
01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:06,563
You're something.
1049
01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:10,202
Robin!
1050
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:13,444
Robin! Whoa! Hey, hey, hey!
Where you going?
1051
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:16,446
I'm sorry. I'm just a little
"Inka Dinka Doo'd" out.
1052
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:20,920
Oh. Come on. Well,
you think I enjoyed that?
1053
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:24,164
A week ago your cousins asked you to
do that and you said it was pathetic.
1054
01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:27,847
Two minutes ago you are singing,
dancing and sliding down a banister?
1055
01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:31,891
Honey, she's a vixen. She's
not givin' him his medicine.
1056
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:33,000
She's gonna get his money,
1057
01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:35,646
she's gonna get his power of attorney,
and she's gonna dump him in a home.
1058
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:36,721
I know this.
1059
01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:38,882
So it's not really the money you
care about, it's your uncle.
1060
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:42,248
Exactly. He's opened up
his heart to me.
1061
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:48,009
You know, we've rekindled something that
we haven't had since I was a little kid.
1062
01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:50,448
I mean, we got a bond
growing here.
1063
01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:56,241
Danny, I love you,
and I believe in you.
1064
01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:00,520
But isn't everything you're telling
me a big crock of bubbling shit?
1065
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:03,001
No.
1066
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:07,166
It's the money. It's just the money.
It's not. It's not.
1067
01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:11,161
Mr. Daniel, your uncle
has requested another chorus.
1068
01:08:12,720 --> 01:08:14,370
You can come with me.
Just leave.
1069
01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:17,610
Honey, I can't just leave. All
my stuff's here, all my clothes.
1070
01:08:18,480 --> 01:08:20,528
I've seen your clothes.
Just leave.
1071
01:08:20,640 --> 01:08:22,040
Shall I tell him
you're coming, sir?
1072
01:08:26,520 --> 01:08:28,284
It's not the money.
1073
01:08:39,480 --> 01:08:42,962
He's back!
Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!
1074
01:08:54,120 --> 01:08:56,009
More wine, sir?
1075
01:08:57,200 --> 01:08:58,247
No thank you, Douglas.
1076
01:08:58,560 --> 01:09:01,723
Is the Chicken Kiev satisfactory?
It's excellent.
1077
01:09:02,240 --> 01:09:07,201
Oh, could you tell the cook that tomorrow
I'd like to have broiled salmon again?
1078
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:08,725
Very good, sir.
1079
01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:11,970
Is my uncle gonna swim today?
1080
01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:14,691
He's not at home, sir. He took
the shuttle down to Washington.
1081
01:09:15,720 --> 01:09:18,405
Business trip.
Yes and no, sir.
1082
01:09:19,520 --> 01:09:20,567
What does that mean?
1083
01:09:20,840 --> 01:09:23,081
It means he took
Miss Molly along with him.
1084
01:09:25,040 --> 01:09:26,201
He did?
1085
01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:30,121
Yes, sir. In fact, he had me call the Coolidge
Hotel and book them the honeymoon suite.
1086
01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:32,120
Honeymoon?
1087
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:35,771
More wine, sir?
1088
01:09:44,200 --> 01:09:46,089
This is a matter
of life or death.
1089
01:09:47,680 --> 01:09:49,011
These are
Mr. McTeague's pills.
1090
01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:53,170
I have to get these to him in
two minutes and 45 seconds.
1091
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:55,208
Damn it, man.
I need that room number.
1092
01:09:55,280 --> 01:09:58,329
Well, I'm sorry, sir. But Mr.
McTeague was very specific.
1093
01:09:58,400 --> 01:10:01,688
He has a "Do Not Disturb" tonight, and
no one is to have his room number.
1094
01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:03,802
Now, if you leave me the pills,
I'll see to it that he gets them.
1095
01:10:03,960 --> 01:10:06,281
No! No! No.
1096
01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:09,963
No! No! No, no, no!
You don't understand.
1097
01:10:10,120 --> 01:10:12,964
These pills only work if
I give them to him myself.
1098
01:10:14,960 --> 01:10:16,610
It's a very rare condition.
1099
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:20,089
Excuse me, sir.
Does this say "Moron"?
1100
01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:25,768
Now, I will leave him your message
first thing in the morning.
1101
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:27,888
In the meantime,
would you like a room?
1102
01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:29,929
All right, I'll be honest with you, okay.
I'm his nephew.
1103
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:31,650
Oh, his nephew.
1104
01:10:33,280 --> 01:10:34,725
Yes.
Because he gave
1105
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:36,723
specific instructions
that his room number
1106
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:39,167
was not to be given
to any of his relatives.
1107
01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:44,166
What the hell is
the matter with you?
1108
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:48,165
Well... Do you not care about
this hotel's reputation? Huh?
1109
01:10:48,320 --> 01:10:52,120
You know, there is an old man shacked up
in this hotel with a very young girl.
1110
01:10:52,320 --> 01:10:55,767
Sir, most of these rooms
have old men with young girls.
1111
01:10:55,840 --> 01:10:57,444
This is Washington.
1112
01:10:58,960 --> 01:11:00,405
All right, listen, pal.
1113
01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:03,125
Just give me...
1114
01:11:06,360 --> 01:11:09,330
A room, a cheap one.
1115
01:11:09,440 --> 01:11:10,680
Of course.
1116
01:11:23,320 --> 01:11:25,607
Come on, Molly.
Drink up!
1117
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:43,130
Yeah, come in.
1118
01:11:43,200 --> 01:11:44,565
It's open.
1119
01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:47,281
Right there.
1120
01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:50,883
Leaving?
Yeah.
1121
01:11:56,440 --> 01:11:59,091
Where's Molly?
She's taking a walk.
1122
01:12:00,920 --> 01:12:02,046
We had a fight.
1123
01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:04,726
Oh?
1124
01:12:05,200 --> 01:12:07,248
Nothing serious, I hope.
1125
01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:08,447
Be honest with me.
1126
01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:11,769
Do you think Molly would
even like me if I wasn't rich?
1127
01:12:11,920 --> 01:12:13,524
Look, Uncle Joe,
1128
01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:15,722
I don't want to say
anything against her.
1129
01:12:16,760 --> 01:12:18,922
But, like you say,
let's be honest.
1130
01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:22,889
How many gorgeous young girls like
that do you see with poor old guys?
1131
01:12:22,960 --> 01:12:25,930
Take some towels.
What?
1132
01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:29,448
Take some towels. For the money they
charge, you should take everything.
1133
01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:32,041
I'm trying to figure out a way
to get the bed out of here.
1134
01:12:32,280 --> 01:12:36,365
You are some piece of work.
Do you know that?
1135
01:12:39,440 --> 01:12:40,680
She's a good kid.
1136
01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:45,126
See, that's why she can't...
1137
01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:50,965
She can't just get
herself to, you know...
1138
01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:57,284
You mean you two didn't, uh...
1139
01:12:57,480 --> 01:12:59,801
No.
1140
01:13:01,160 --> 01:13:06,291
You know, I never believed that
anyone could love me for me.
1141
01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:12,720
How could I
when my own mother didn't.
1142
01:13:13,880 --> 01:13:14,961
She didn't?
1143
01:13:16,760 --> 01:13:19,161
She left me and my brother
1144
01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:26,248
in a home in Albany
when I was three.
1145
01:13:26,520 --> 01:13:29,842
No note, no nothing.
Never asked about us.
1146
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:33,124
Never said, "I'm sorry."
1147
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:39,923
Your mother has to love you.
1148
01:13:41,520 --> 01:13:42,931
Right, Danny?
1149
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:46,243
So even if no one else does,
1150
01:13:46,320 --> 01:13:48,288
she has to, doesn't she?
1151
01:13:51,160 --> 01:13:53,606
Well, if my own mother
couldn't love me, I...
1152
01:14:02,440 --> 01:14:05,046
I, uh...
1153
01:14:07,600 --> 01:14:08,931
I love you, Uncle Joe.
1154
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:14,731
You do?
1155
01:14:16,520 --> 01:14:17,567
Yeah, I do.
1156
01:14:22,680 --> 01:14:24,728
Take me home, Danny.
1157
01:14:28,880 --> 01:14:31,690
Danny, what do you mean?
He's throwing her out of the house?
1158
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:34,240
Honey, just wait
a second, will ya?
1159
01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:39,127
Danny.
1160
01:14:40,680 --> 01:14:43,047
Honey, I have no choice.
It was an emergency.
1161
01:14:43,120 --> 01:14:44,201
She had Uncle Joe.
1162
01:14:44,280 --> 01:14:46,282
She wasn't gonna bring him back
'til she got what she wanted.
1163
01:14:46,440 --> 01:14:48,807
You mean, until she got
what you wanted.
1164
01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:51,242
Honey, it's not like that.
1165
01:14:52,400 --> 01:14:56,166
Look, Uncle Joe and I, we talked.
I mean, we really talked.
1166
01:14:57,440 --> 01:15:01,081
He's been in Washington for a couple
of days, some military contract.
1167
01:15:01,520 --> 01:15:04,171
Oh, yeah? I brought
him back today.
1168
01:15:04,240 --> 01:15:06,561
And we're gonna go
and see his attorneys.
1169
01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:10,322
From now on, honey, I'm going
to be responsible for him.
1170
01:15:10,560 --> 01:15:14,610
I'm gonna be here with him,
and, you know...
1171
01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:19,166
Rich.
1172
01:15:21,320 --> 01:15:23,288
What about your cousins?
You made a deal.
1173
01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:25,602
My cousins are animals.
1174
01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:28,081
They would put him
in a home if they could.
1175
01:15:28,600 --> 01:15:30,125
Now, I'll take care
of their children.
1176
01:15:30,200 --> 01:15:34,683
Maybe, you know, give each kid,
like, a scholarship or something.
1177
01:15:34,800 --> 01:15:37,371
But my cousins, forget it.
They don't deserve anything.
1178
01:15:37,520 --> 01:15:40,171
You bastard! Frank,
what are you doing?
1179
01:15:41,040 --> 01:15:42,246
Whatever happened to "Hello"?
1180
01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:44,290
We heard every word.
1181
01:15:44,320 --> 01:15:46,846
What do you do? Listen
outside my door? Always.
1182
01:15:47,280 --> 01:15:49,806
You know, I had no idea
just how sick you guys were.
1183
01:15:50,040 --> 01:15:53,089
Come spend a day with us. I'd
rather shove this club up my ass.
1184
01:15:53,160 --> 01:15:54,366
I'll do it for you.
1185
01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:56,608
You're playing a lone hand?
You're double-crossing us?
1186
01:15:57,960 --> 01:15:59,246
First of all,
1187
01:15:59,320 --> 01:16:00,970
I never agreed
to anything with you.
1188
01:16:01,840 --> 01:16:05,208
All I said was I would visit
my uncle, see how things were.
1189
01:16:05,280 --> 01:16:08,045
And let me tell you something,
I saw and it made me sick.
1190
01:16:08,120 --> 01:16:09,849
You bastard!
1191
01:16:11,240 --> 01:16:13,891
I like it better when she says it. I
think it's the accent or something.
1192
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:15,928
I thought I'd find
you all here together.
1193
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:18,321
We're not all together.
Right.
1194
01:16:21,040 --> 01:16:24,522
Do you know something? I thought you
were different than the others.
1195
01:16:24,840 --> 01:16:27,241
But you're not different.
You're exactly the same.
1196
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:29,409
Lam looking out
for my uncle, okay.
1197
01:16:29,520 --> 01:16:31,090
Lam looking out for his welfare.
1198
01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:34,563
Bullshit! Look, they were at least
willing to wait until he died.
1199
01:16:34,720 --> 01:16:36,848
But not you, no.
You're gonna eat him raw.
1200
01:16:37,480 --> 01:16:39,130
Wait a minute.
Danny is not like that.
1201
01:16:39,240 --> 01:16:41,004
Try to remember something, okay?
1202
01:16:41,200 --> 01:16:43,771
In the long run, nobody likes a tease.
Come on, honey.
1203
01:16:44,120 --> 01:16:48,205
You are a cheap, chiseling,
low-life hustler.
1204
01:16:48,320 --> 01:16:52,006
You said it. Well,
it takes one to spot one.
1205
01:16:57,320 --> 01:16:59,641
Stop it! Stop it!
Oh, great, great!
1206
01:16:59,840 --> 01:17:02,411
Now you stop it!
After she gets in a shot!
1207
01:17:04,720 --> 01:17:06,643
I'll give you half
a million dollars to leave.
1208
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:10,405
Cash. As soon as I get the money.
Half a million dollars.
1209
01:17:10,520 --> 01:17:13,444
That's more than you could make
delivering pizza, even in a good year.
1210
01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:15,204
She gets half a million dollars,
1211
01:17:15,280 --> 01:17:17,328
and we get a couple of
lousy scholarships?
1212
01:17:17,400 --> 01:17:19,323
That's not fair!
That is really not fair.
1213
01:17:19,400 --> 01:17:21,880
No, I will give you half a million and
you leave. That makes me mad. Ow!
1214
01:17:21,960 --> 01:17:23,450
And I'll pay you
when I get the money.
1215
01:17:23,520 --> 01:17:24,851
You'll give me
half a million dollars?
1216
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:26,485
That's right. Oh, really.
No, I'm getting it all!
1217
01:17:26,560 --> 01:17:29,564
He sees right through you.
You're a walking fish tank, baby.
1218
01:17:29,640 --> 01:17:32,120
You're made of glass.
You and your tan tushy can...
1219
01:17:32,240 --> 01:17:33,571
I'll sleep with him.
1220
01:17:35,640 --> 01:17:36,766
What?
1221
01:17:38,200 --> 01:17:41,124
You're gonna...
Yeah, that's right.
1222
01:17:41,200 --> 01:17:43,441
That's right. As soon as he
gets back from work today.
1223
01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:45,285
I'll give him a right good one.
1224
01:17:47,400 --> 01:17:52,327
You... See, it wouldn't... He wouldn't
even be interested in that, you know.
1225
01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:55,609
It wouldn't even matter.
Oh, it will matter.
1226
01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:57,731
I'll make it matter.
1227
01:18:06,160 --> 01:18:07,924
Inka dinka doo
1228
01:18:10,440 --> 01:18:11,441
PATTI; Molly!
1229
01:18:12,760 --> 01:18:16,128
Do you know that both of my
daughters are named Molly?
1230
01:18:16,800 --> 01:18:18,245
Oh, God.
1231
01:18:19,120 --> 01:18:20,451
Oh, God.
1232
01:18:25,320 --> 01:18:26,924
Oh, God.
1233
01:18:27,640 --> 01:18:31,611
You think she'll do it?
Yes, I do.
1234
01:18:31,800 --> 01:18:33,370
I don't think you've
given her any other choice.
1235
01:18:33,440 --> 01:18:36,205
I think she'll do it
just to beat you.
1236
01:18:36,280 --> 01:18:37,725
Ah, Jesus.
1237
01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:40,290
You think it'll work?
1238
01:18:41,440 --> 01:18:44,046
Danny, a young girl
with a body like that?
1239
01:18:44,480 --> 01:18:45,527
When she's through with him,
1240
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:48,444
there'll be nothing left of him
but a smile and an old hat.
1241
01:19:02,320 --> 01:19:03,924
Welcome home, Joe.
1242
01:19:09,840 --> 01:19:11,080
Hello, Molly.
1243
01:19:18,960 --> 01:19:20,849
I'm tired.
I'm going upstairs.
1244
01:19:23,400 --> 01:19:24,481
Uncle Joe!
1245
01:19:29,840 --> 01:19:33,845
Joe, wait! Are you retiring, sir?
Will you need my assistance?
1246
01:19:34,160 --> 01:19:37,130
No, Molly will, uh, assist me.
1247
01:19:38,520 --> 01:19:41,251
Oh, I see.
Very good, sir.
1248
01:19:42,120 --> 01:19:43,167
Let's go.
1249
01:19:49,360 --> 01:19:53,331
Sir? May I ask for a reference
before you go upstairs?
1250
01:19:53,400 --> 01:19:55,402
Not now, Douglas.
1251
01:19:59,640 --> 01:20:01,005
Good-bye, sir.
1252
01:20:02,600 --> 01:20:04,045
Uncle Joe, wait! Ow.
1253
01:20:04,760 --> 01:20:07,809
Uncle Joe, please wait.
I have a surprise for you.
1254
01:20:08,160 --> 01:20:10,766
Danny, don't. Don't!
Ow.
1255
01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:14,240
Up We go, Molly.
1256
01:20:17,400 --> 01:20:19,243
His face...
1257
01:20:19,560 --> 01:20:22,769
Ooh, I've never
been in one of these before.
1258
01:20:24,640 --> 01:20:26,085
Hang on, Molly!
1259
01:20:32,800 --> 01:20:35,371
Molly, let me say something.
1260
01:20:35,440 --> 01:20:36,885
No.
1261
01:20:38,120 --> 01:20:39,770
Don't say anything.
1262
01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:42,688
A little young for
you, isn't she, Joe?
1263
01:20:42,760 --> 01:20:43,761
Who's there?
1264
01:20:49,160 --> 01:20:51,527
Hi, Joe.
It's been a long time.
1265
01:20:52,280 --> 01:20:53,930
It's Daniel.
1266
01:20:55,480 --> 01:20:56,481
Daniel?
1267
01:21:00,440 --> 01:21:03,967
Wha... What do...
You got so old.
1268
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:06,686
Well, you're no Monet yourself.
1269
01:21:06,880 --> 01:21:07,927
Hmm.
1270
01:21:09,280 --> 01:21:11,203
Molly, this is my cousin Daniel,
1271
01:21:11,760 --> 01:21:12,841
Danny's father.
1272
01:21:14,320 --> 01:21:15,321
Danny asked me to come.
1273
01:21:15,800 --> 01:21:17,802
He's got a real regard
for you, Joe.
1274
01:21:18,080 --> 01:21:22,881
He made me think that maybe things are
different than the way I remember them.
1275
01:21:23,720 --> 01:21:24,801
But they're not, are they?
1276
01:21:25,480 --> 01:21:27,482
It's still the same.
1277
01:21:27,720 --> 01:21:31,930
God, this place still
stinks from greed.
1278
01:21:32,320 --> 01:21:33,651
Those who have it
1279
01:21:35,760 --> 01:21:37,967
and those who want it.
1280
01:21:45,480 --> 01:21:46,766
Dad!
1281
01:21:48,160 --> 01:21:49,730
Uncle Daniel?
1282
01:21:49,840 --> 01:21:51,410
Dad, you came.
1283
01:21:52,280 --> 01:21:55,284
That was great of you.
I'm leaving.
1284
01:21:55,840 --> 01:21:56,841
What?
1285
01:21:57,480 --> 01:22:00,006
Oh, God, they're all still here.
1286
01:22:00,360 --> 01:22:02,727
First it was your parents,
now it's you.
1287
01:22:02,800 --> 01:22:05,087
He'll outlive your children
and leave them nothing.
1288
01:22:05,160 --> 01:22:06,969
Dad, you want to
lighten up a second?
1289
01:22:07,040 --> 01:22:11,443
You know who ruins this world, Danny?
The greedy. That's it.
1290
01:22:12,680 --> 01:22:16,446
"They have it, I want it.
I have it, I want more."
1291
01:22:16,520 --> 01:22:19,808
That's the real pollution, Dan.
Greed.
1292
01:22:22,520 --> 01:22:24,841
You know who I think
ruins the world?
1293
01:22:25,200 --> 01:22:26,770
Pompous, self-righteous,
1294
01:22:26,840 --> 01:22:29,684
holier-than-thou,
middle-aged fanatics
1295
01:22:29,760 --> 01:22:32,161
in ponytails who give away
their kids' toys.
1296
01:22:36,040 --> 01:22:39,487
He's got you too, huh?
No, he doesn't have me.
1297
01:22:39,920 --> 01:22:41,843
Can't the truth
be somewhere in between?
1298
01:22:41,960 --> 01:22:45,851
Can't it just... No! One way is all
right, and one way is all wrong.
1299
01:22:45,920 --> 01:22:48,446
Pick.
His way or my way. Pick.
1300
01:22:48,960 --> 01:22:50,200
Dad.
Pick!
1301
01:22:55,640 --> 01:22:58,211
You know, you are just so...
Pick!
1302
01:23:01,480 --> 01:23:03,050
All right then, I pick him.
1303
01:23:07,080 --> 01:23:10,402
At least he doesn't take
himself so goddamn seriously.
1304
01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:43,802
I'm leaving.
1305
01:23:45,440 --> 01:23:46,521
Why?
1306
01:23:49,000 --> 01:23:50,764
I can't believe
what I almost did.
1307
01:23:50,840 --> 01:23:54,128
I was actually gonna screw
the old boy for money.
1308
01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:57,965
I suppose maybe I've always
been here for the money.
1309
01:23:59,080 --> 01:24:02,004
Oh, Christ, I make myself sick.
1310
01:24:02,080 --> 01:24:04,560
I have to get out of here.
1311
01:24:05,640 --> 01:24:07,369
I understand.
1312
01:24:09,000 --> 01:24:10,923
You'll take care of him,
won't you?
1313
01:24:12,720 --> 01:24:13,960
Of course.
1314
01:24:14,720 --> 01:24:16,643
You're not gonna
put him in a home?
1315
01:24:18,800 --> 01:24:19,961
Never
1316
01:24:23,320 --> 01:24:24,367
Bye.
1317
01:24:38,840 --> 01:24:41,286
Hey. You okay?
1318
01:24:43,000 --> 01:24:44,445
Yeah.
1319
01:24:45,800 --> 01:24:49,521
God, that was some scene
with your father. I just...
1320
01:24:52,840 --> 01:24:54,444
What?
1321
01:24:56,360 --> 01:24:58,169
That wasn't my father.
1322
01:25:00,280 --> 01:25:01,850
What?
1323
01:25:03,040 --> 01:25:05,008
That was an actor.
1324
01:25:05,680 --> 01:25:07,682
My father wouldn't
come here on a bet.
1325
01:25:10,360 --> 01:25:12,283
So you just... It was
my only shot, honey.
1326
01:25:12,360 --> 01:25:15,045
Remember that day out here by the pool?
That's what he wanted.
1327
01:25:15,120 --> 01:25:17,282
He wanted me to pick him
over my father.
1328
01:25:17,360 --> 01:25:19,010
Yes, and you said
you never would.
1329
01:25:20,160 --> 01:25:22,003
I didn't.
1330
01:25:22,480 --> 01:25:24,687
I picked him over an actor.
1331
01:25:26,360 --> 01:25:27,885
Don't touch me.
1332
01:25:27,960 --> 01:25:30,531
What? What? Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on, come on.
1333
01:25:30,600 --> 01:25:32,284
Danny.
What's the matter?
1334
01:25:32,360 --> 01:25:35,728
You are lost. You dropped your compass
in the woods and you're lost.
1335
01:25:35,800 --> 01:25:37,290
I'm not lost.
1336
01:25:37,840 --> 01:25:39,524
You don't see how sick this is?
1337
01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:42,888
No! Who got hurt?
1338
01:25:45,560 --> 01:25:47,289
The truth got hurt, okay?
1339
01:25:47,360 --> 01:25:51,490
Integrity, self-respect, decent
human behavior, that got hurt!
1340
01:25:51,640 --> 01:25:53,449
Hey, I will be good to him.
1341
01:25:53,600 --> 01:25:55,921
You want to tell me who else
will be as good to him?
1342
01:25:56,000 --> 01:25:58,287
That's not the point.
No, that is the point!
1343
01:26:00,680 --> 01:26:03,763
Danny, we've been
through a lot together,
1344
01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:05,251
and I've been pretty loyal.
1345
01:26:05,440 --> 01:26:07,408
Honey, you've been great.
1346
01:26:08,160 --> 01:26:11,004
But if you touch one cent
of your uncle's money,
1347
01:26:11,840 --> 01:26:13,330
we're through.
1348
01:26:14,800 --> 01:26:16,643
What are you, crazy?
I mean it.
1349
01:26:16,720 --> 01:26:20,247
I mean it. If you take any of that
money, I will have no respect for you.
1350
01:26:20,600 --> 01:26:23,171
Jesus!
1351
01:26:23,920 --> 01:26:25,763
You sound like my father.
1352
01:26:25,920 --> 01:26:27,880
No, I sound like the actor
who played your father.
1353
01:26:27,920 --> 01:26:29,160
Enjoy your money.
1354
01:26:37,320 --> 01:26:39,527
Daniel McTeague, Junior.
Here.
1355
01:26:44,120 --> 01:26:48,091
Your Great Uncle Joe has chosen, for
reasons I assume he's explained,
1356
01:26:48,160 --> 01:26:50,401
to transfer to you
all his assets,
1357
01:26:50,600 --> 01:26:53,206
including complete control
of his commercial,
1358
01:26:53,360 --> 01:26:55,169
personal and financial affairs.
1359
01:26:55,960 --> 01:26:58,930
My boy.
NW good boy.
1360
01:27:00,080 --> 01:27:01,081
At this time
1361
01:27:01,160 --> 01:27:04,926
I would like to give you a complete
picture of your great uncle's holdings.
1362
01:27:05,480 --> 01:27:08,245
The McTeague Scrap Metal
Company comprising
1363
01:27:08,320 --> 01:27:10,402
scrap yards, trucking...
Excuse me.
1364
01:27:12,240 --> 01:27:15,528
Uh, Uncle Joe, there's something
1365
01:27:15,600 --> 01:27:18,001
I'd like to explain to you.
1366
01:27:18,120 --> 01:27:20,521
Mm-hmm.
First of all,
1367
01:27:20,600 --> 01:27:23,968
when I came to your
birthday party that time,
1368
01:27:24,200 --> 01:27:27,283
I had no idea any of
this was gonna happen.
1369
01:27:28,160 --> 01:27:29,525
I wasn't after your money.
1370
01:27:29,640 --> 01:27:31,244
I know that.
1371
01:27:32,280 --> 01:27:33,645
That's why I love you.
1372
01:27:39,040 --> 01:27:40,166
Joe,
1373
01:27:40,240 --> 01:27:41,844
I have to tell you something.
1374
01:27:42,520 --> 01:27:43,646
What?
1375
01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:46,561
I'm...
1376
01:27:48,520 --> 01:27:51,649
...gonna take such
good care of you.
1377
01:27:53,440 --> 01:27:55,522
You're a good boy.
1378
01:27:57,040 --> 01:27:58,087
Is that it?
1379
01:28:00,360 --> 01:28:02,966
Yeah.
Well, that was lovely.
1380
01:28:03,480 --> 01:28:07,041
As I was saying, the McTeague
Scrap Metal Company,
1381
01:28:07,240 --> 01:28:10,050
comprising steel...
Stop! Sign nothing!
1382
01:28:11,360 --> 01:28:12,964
What the hell is this?
1383
01:28:13,040 --> 01:28:15,884
Oh, my, my, my, my, my-
1384
01:28:16,040 --> 01:28:18,771
If deceit has a name,
it's his name.
1385
01:28:24,520 --> 01:28:26,329
Daniel, is it true?
1386
01:28:26,400 --> 01:28:29,847
Is everything these gerbils
have been telling me true?
1387
01:28:34,040 --> 01:28:35,405
Dad.
1388
01:28:36,320 --> 01:28:37,321
"Dad"?
1389
01:28:37,720 --> 01:28:41,327
Yes, Dad. Daniel McTeague, Senior.
His father.
1390
01:28:41,400 --> 01:28:42,811
His real father.
1391
01:28:42,920 --> 01:28:46,208
Not the actor he hired to come
to your house last night.
1392
01:28:47,520 --> 01:28:48,851
Danny.
1393
01:28:52,280 --> 01:28:54,089
They told me that, Daniel.
1394
01:28:57,600 --> 01:28:58,931
Is it true?
1395
01:29:01,440 --> 01:29:05,604
Yeah. It's true.
1396
01:29:06,200 --> 01:29:09,124
You hired an actor
to pretend he was me,
1397
01:29:09,920 --> 01:29:12,605
and then pretended to get
into a fight with him
1398
01:29:12,680 --> 01:29:14,682
and told him you preferred
Uncle Joe to me?
1399
01:29:16,800 --> 01:29:20,088
Well, when you put it like
that, it sounds kind of bad.
1400
01:29:20,840 --> 01:29:23,047
Danny, I know we've
had our differences,
1401
01:29:23,120 --> 01:29:25,771
and I know you think
I'm strange.
1402
01:29:25,960 --> 01:29:28,725
No. No, no, Dad.
Lam.
1403
01:29:29,480 --> 01:29:32,051
But I've always respected you, Daniel.
Always.
1404
01:29:32,120 --> 01:29:35,169
I always felt you had
real character.
1405
01:29:39,200 --> 01:29:41,089
Does money really mean
this much to you?
1406
01:29:41,400 --> 01:29:45,485
No. I didn't go and see
Uncle Joe for the money.
1407
01:29:45,640 --> 01:29:48,849
We made a deal with him. If he
kept the money in the family,
1408
01:29:48,920 --> 01:29:50,729
he'd get a cut, right?
1409
01:29:51,400 --> 01:29:52,640
Yes, but...
1410
01:29:52,800 --> 01:29:54,245
Then he double-crossed us.
1411
01:29:54,320 --> 01:29:55,765
Because they're scum!
1412
01:29:55,800 --> 01:30:00,089
I mean, they're greedy. We're greedy?
We were willing to share!
1413
01:30:00,560 --> 01:30:03,404
Hmm.
Dad...
1414
01:30:04,760 --> 01:30:07,001
I don't know what happened.
1415
01:30:07,920 --> 01:30:10,321
I just got, like, sucked in.
1416
01:30:10,400 --> 01:30:12,767
I mean, first one thing
didn't seem wrong,
1417
01:30:12,840 --> 01:30:14,800
and then another thing
didn't seem wrong, until...
1418
01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:18,162
Nothing seemed wrong.
I know.
1419
01:30:19,280 --> 01:30:20,406
That's why I left.
1420
01:30:34,640 --> 01:30:36,642
How are you, Joe?
1421
01:30:36,720 --> 01:30:38,768
I'm still eating grapes.
1422
01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:03,087
Uncle Joe...
1423
01:31:03,520 --> 01:31:04,681
Save it.
1424
01:31:06,720 --> 01:31:09,849
Okay, Joe.
Bare knuckles, toe-to-toe.
1425
01:31:10,240 --> 01:31:14,006
We've spent 20 years eating your shit and
saying, "Mmm, delicious. What a cook."
1426
01:31:14,120 --> 01:31:15,246
No more.
1427
01:31:15,320 --> 01:31:18,369
We've hired attorneys. If we don't
get our fair share of everything,
1428
01:31:18,440 --> 01:31:20,488
we'll move to have you
declared incompetent.
1429
01:31:20,560 --> 01:31:23,689
And we'll win because
we found out things.
1430
01:31:23,760 --> 01:31:26,331
You've got toys in the attic,
Uncle Joe. Broken toys.
1431
01:31:27,080 --> 01:31:30,368
And we'll hammer on you and
hammer on you until you cave in.
1432
01:31:30,440 --> 01:31:33,205
Understand? Or is
your mind already gone?
1433
01:31:33,360 --> 01:31:34,725
All right!
1434
01:31:37,920 --> 01:31:40,400
Sit down. All of you.
1435
01:31:41,840 --> 01:31:43,649
Uncle Joe...
Quiet.
1436
01:31:54,040 --> 01:31:55,166
Go ahead.
1437
01:31:56,560 --> 01:31:59,643
As I was about to say before
the circus came to town,
1438
01:31:59,920 --> 01:32:03,527
your uncle's holdings
at their peak held a net,
1439
01:32:03,600 --> 01:32:07,446
net mind you, financial value
of just under $25 million.
1440
01:32:11,600 --> 01:32:15,605
At the moment, however,
he is $95,000 in debt.
1441
01:32:24,960 --> 01:32:25,961
Wait a minute. He's...
1442
01:32:26,080 --> 01:32:29,641
In debt beyond the value
of all his assets.
1443
01:32:34,600 --> 01:32:37,126
The room, is it doing this?
1444
01:32:39,440 --> 01:32:41,647
I fear this has come
as a shock to you.
1445
01:32:42,840 --> 01:32:43,966
No.
1446
01:32:44,120 --> 01:32:46,202
Shitting a sailboat,
that's a shock.
1447
01:32:46,280 --> 01:32:48,328
This is a fucking catastrophe!
1448
01:32:49,160 --> 01:32:52,642
Your uncle's trip to Washington
was not for a military contract.
1449
01:32:52,720 --> 01:32:55,326
It was to work out an
arrangement with the I.R.S.
1450
01:32:55,440 --> 01:32:57,283
to keep your uncle out of jail.
1451
01:32:57,840 --> 01:33:00,002
That has been accomplished,
but everything is lost.
1452
01:33:00,640 --> 01:33:05,521
Everything, plus some arrangement
will have to be made for the 95,000.
1453
01:33:10,920 --> 01:33:14,481
How the hell do you lose
$25 million?
1454
01:33:15,440 --> 01:33:19,286
It's easier than you think. I overextended.
I made some loans.
1455
01:33:19,360 --> 01:33:21,931
There were some things I claimed
the government wouldn't allow.
1456
01:33:22,000 --> 01:33:24,002
- There were penalties...
- Hold it.
1457
01:33:24,440 --> 01:33:27,603
I don't believe this. It's another
one of his little tricks.
1458
01:33:27,960 --> 01:33:29,041
Another little test.
1459
01:33:29,360 --> 01:33:31,408
I will gladly put you
in touch with the l.R.S.
1460
01:33:31,840 --> 01:33:33,604
They'll give you
a complete accounting,
1461
01:33:33,680 --> 01:33:36,047
as well as a lovely
brochure for the auction.
1462
01:33:36,480 --> 01:33:37,527
Auction?
1463
01:33:39,400 --> 01:33:40,890
They're taking my home.
1464
01:33:41,120 --> 01:33:44,203
Damn it!
Stupid! Stupid!
1465
01:33:44,480 --> 01:33:46,448
We played along!
We played along!
1466
01:33:46,520 --> 01:33:48,568
We should have stepped in
five years ago!
1467
01:33:48,720 --> 01:33:50,210
Two would have been enough.
1468
01:33:50,960 --> 01:33:53,884
You stupid, pathetic old man!
1469
01:33:54,040 --> 01:33:56,725
Goddamn it, Frank!
One more word out of you,
1470
01:33:57,000 --> 01:34:01,403
I'll kick your ass so high up you'll
have to take off your shirt to shit!
1471
01:34:01,720 --> 01:34:05,611
Come on.
Come on, bowling boy!
1472
01:34:07,440 --> 01:34:09,966
Stop it!
1473
01:34:10,200 --> 01:34:13,329
Frank, cut it out!
1474
01:34:19,400 --> 01:34:21,971
Stop! I've got
a metal plate in my head.
1475
01:34:22,960 --> 01:34:24,485
You do?
No!
1476
01:34:27,560 --> 01:34:29,449
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
No, no. That's enough.
1477
01:34:29,520 --> 01:34:31,409
I want security in
the large conference room.
1478
01:34:31,720 --> 01:34:34,530
That's enough.
Get over here.
1479
01:34:35,600 --> 01:34:37,762
You maniac!
1480
01:34:37,920 --> 01:34:39,843
You're insane, you know that?
1481
01:34:40,640 --> 01:34:44,725
I'm insane? For five years I begged
you, "Let's put him in a home"!
1482
01:34:44,920 --> 01:34:47,287
No, you didn't want to because
you didn't have the balls!
1483
01:34:47,760 --> 01:34:49,808
None of you have any balls!
1484
01:34:51,480 --> 01:34:53,050
Frank?
1485
01:34:53,120 --> 01:34:55,282
I've been waiting
to do this a long time.
1486
01:34:56,120 --> 01:34:57,121
Ooh.
1487
01:35:01,600 --> 01:35:05,844
Hey! Hey!
Stop it. Come on.
1488
01:35:06,320 --> 01:35:09,802
I want them out of here.
It's all right!
1489
01:35:14,760 --> 01:35:18,924
We were...
We were just leaving anyway.
1490
01:35:20,560 --> 01:35:23,131
What do we do now? Nothing!
1491
01:35:23,440 --> 01:35:26,125
We wait around to dance
at his funeral.
1492
01:35:50,280 --> 01:35:51,327
You're still here.
1493
01:35:54,280 --> 01:35:56,647
How long have you
known you were broke?
1494
01:35:58,320 --> 01:35:59,606
About a year.
1495
01:36:01,000 --> 01:36:02,604
A year.
1496
01:36:03,000 --> 01:36:05,844
So this whole time,
you were, uh,
1497
01:36:06,680 --> 01:36:08,364
what, schmucking with me?
1498
01:36:08,760 --> 01:36:09,886
Every second.
1499
01:36:09,960 --> 01:36:13,009
Danny, please,
I had to find out.
1500
01:36:13,120 --> 01:36:15,202
I had to know
who'd take care of me
1501
01:36:15,280 --> 01:36:17,089
when they found out
I had nothing.
1502
01:36:17,160 --> 01:36:18,969
And care will be required.
1503
01:36:19,640 --> 01:36:22,484
Your uncle's physical
condition is degenerative.
1504
01:36:22,560 --> 01:36:26,531
And whoever assumes control
over his finances,
1505
01:36:26,600 --> 01:36:29,126
will have to oversee the
liquidation sale of his assets,
1506
01:36:29,520 --> 01:36:32,126
assume responsibility
for the outstanding balance,
1507
01:36:32,200 --> 01:36:34,362
and, of course,
there's our bill.
1508
01:36:34,880 --> 01:36:37,884
We will need you
to sign these papers.
1509
01:36:37,960 --> 01:36:40,531
If you'd have
just told me the truth.
1510
01:36:43,000 --> 01:36:46,971
I mean, I'm not saying
I'm a perfect guy or anything,
1511
01:36:47,040 --> 01:36:50,203
but if you'd just told me the truth,
maybe I could have felt some compassion.
1512
01:36:50,400 --> 01:36:54,121
You know, some responsibility.
Just the truth!
1513
01:36:56,720 --> 01:36:58,688
The truth is, I'm an old guy.
1514
01:36:59,080 --> 01:37:01,128
I'm broke. I need help.
1515
01:37:01,280 --> 01:37:02,486
Not now!
1516
01:37:03,240 --> 01:37:04,526
Then!
1517
01:37:05,040 --> 01:37:06,530
Now's no good.
1518
01:37:07,400 --> 01:37:08,970
Now's too late.
1519
01:37:10,240 --> 01:37:11,844
I crawled.
1520
01:37:12,320 --> 01:37:13,845
Man, I begged.
1521
01:37:15,720 --> 01:37:17,085
I lost my girlfriend.
1522
01:37:19,960 --> 01:37:22,770
I hate that you did this.
1523
01:37:23,600 --> 01:37:24,840
Danny, I had to.
1524
01:37:25,400 --> 01:37:27,641
I had to find out who loved me.
1525
01:37:28,680 --> 01:37:30,284
Nobody.
1526
01:37:30,440 --> 01:37:32,090
Nobody loved you.
1527
01:37:33,440 --> 01:37:35,010
Why should they?
1528
01:37:37,280 --> 01:37:39,123
What's there to love?
1529
01:37:39,600 --> 01:37:43,047
What about you is there to love?
1530
01:38:03,160 --> 01:38:05,925
All right, I want a camera in
the stands on the kid's father
1531
01:38:06,000 --> 01:38:08,048
when the kid's shooting
the free throws.
1532
01:38:08,120 --> 01:38:12,011
If the kid misses now, the expression
on the dad's face is another Emmy.
1533
01:38:12,080 --> 01:38:13,889
Come on.
Find the dad.
1534
01:38:17,480 --> 01:38:19,289
Mike, go back.
Hey!
1535
01:38:21,800 --> 01:38:24,724
Stop! Listen, girlie, if you
don't get back in that seat...
1536
01:38:24,800 --> 01:38:26,484
Will you shut up a second?
1537
01:38:46,040 --> 01:38:47,883
What happened?
1538
01:38:48,680 --> 01:38:50,842
Uncle Joe was broke.
1539
01:38:51,080 --> 01:38:52,605
Come on.
Broke.
1540
01:38:54,160 --> 01:38:57,004
No, not just broke.
In debt.
1541
01:38:58,600 --> 01:39:01,251
Everybody pushin' and shown',
1542
01:39:01,320 --> 01:39:03,607
and the whole time
the trough was empty.
1543
01:39:08,000 --> 01:39:10,571
When did I get
so obsessed with money?
1544
01:39:11,560 --> 01:39:14,040
When did that happen?
1545
01:39:14,960 --> 01:39:16,485
I mean, you've
known me for years.
1546
01:39:16,560 --> 01:39:18,369
I was never like that.
1547
01:39:18,840 --> 01:39:20,001
Was I?
1548
01:39:20,880 --> 01:39:22,211
No.
1549
01:39:26,880 --> 01:39:28,291
What's gonna happen to him?
1550
01:39:28,640 --> 01:39:30,563
Uncle Joe?
Mm-hmm.
1551
01:39:31,400 --> 01:39:33,209
I assume my cousins
will hang him.
1552
01:39:33,320 --> 01:39:36,005
No, really.
1553
01:39:38,200 --> 01:39:40,521
Really.
1554
01:39:41,520 --> 01:39:44,683
I don't know.
I don't care.
1555
01:39:45,440 --> 01:39:46,771
You don't?
1556
01:39:47,400 --> 01:39:49,721
Honey, allow me to finally
face up to what I did.
1557
01:39:49,800 --> 01:39:53,043
I wasn't there for him.
I was there for the money.
1558
01:39:54,920 --> 01:39:57,491
That time you told me about
at the scrap yard,
1559
01:39:57,560 --> 01:39:59,722
when he told you how scared
he was to go into a home?
1560
01:40:00,240 --> 01:40:02,971
You told me
you felt sorry for him.
1561
01:40:03,240 --> 01:40:04,765
I did.
1562
01:40:05,720 --> 01:40:07,165
But don't you see?
It was an act.
1563
01:40:07,240 --> 01:40:09,242
He was putting on an act.
1564
01:40:09,440 --> 01:40:12,011
I mean, anybody would have
felt sorry for him.
1565
01:40:12,280 --> 01:40:13,805
Even your cousins?
1566
01:40:19,920 --> 01:40:23,208
Make sure you get
plenty of padding on that.
1567
01:40:24,600 --> 01:40:26,648
Put that in last.
1568
01:40:26,720 --> 01:40:28,961
There you go.
1569
01:40:31,000 --> 01:40:33,321
Douglas.
Douglas!
1570
01:40:34,120 --> 01:40:35,167
Where's Uncle Joe?
1571
01:40:35,880 --> 01:40:38,804
I couldn't say, sir. I'm no
longer in your uncle's employ.
1572
01:40:41,080 --> 01:40:42,286
What are you talking about?
1573
01:40:42,480 --> 01:40:44,289
He can no longer pay my wages.
1574
01:40:45,440 --> 01:40:48,523
Wages? Don't you care
what happens to him?
1575
01:40:49,280 --> 01:40:52,966
Very droll, sir.
Most amusing, sir.
1576
01:40:53,080 --> 01:40:55,048
All right. Watch your back.
Comin' through.
1577
01:40:55,120 --> 01:40:57,122
Where is he, in a nursing home?
1578
01:40:57,760 --> 01:41:00,445
Out of the question.
He can't afford that.
1579
01:41:00,600 --> 01:41:03,968
Hey, hey, hey!
What's he gonna do?
1580
01:41:04,800 --> 01:41:07,644
He can go dance the Hully
Gully for all I care.
1581
01:41:08,160 --> 01:41:09,764
Good day, sir.
1582
01:41:36,240 --> 01:41:40,040
Dr. Zane,
please call Central Scheduling.
1583
01:41:47,000 --> 01:41:48,684
Where's your hat?
1584
01:41:50,520 --> 01:41:53,364
Went in the auction.
A buck's a buck.
1585
01:41:53,960 --> 01:41:56,088
Your lawyer told me
you were here.
1586
01:41:56,160 --> 01:41:58,811
What are you doing
in the hospital?
1587
01:41:59,440 --> 01:42:00,680
I didn't feel good, stupid.
1588
01:42:00,760 --> 01:42:04,082
Why else do you go to a hospital?
Yeah, but a county ward?
1589
01:42:04,160 --> 01:42:05,924
It's all I can afford.
1590
01:42:06,880 --> 01:42:08,769
Ironic, huh?
1591
01:42:09,320 --> 01:42:11,766
I'm right back where
my mother left me.
1592
01:42:12,600 --> 01:42:13,886
You call me stupid.
1593
01:42:14,360 --> 01:42:17,489
Work your way up from nothin',
from the street,
1594
01:42:17,920 --> 01:42:19,410
and you piss it all away.
1595
01:42:20,880 --> 01:42:23,042
Did you just come
to cheer me up or what?
1596
01:42:24,960 --> 01:42:26,724
All right, come on.
Where's all your crap?
1597
01:42:27,680 --> 01:42:28,727
Huh?
1598
01:42:28,960 --> 01:42:30,962
Your crap, your stuff,
your clothes.
1599
01:42:31,080 --> 01:42:34,243
They didn't bring you in naked, did they?
In my bag.
1600
01:42:34,760 --> 01:42:36,091
All right, come on, let's go.
1601
01:42:38,400 --> 01:42:39,765
Where?
1602
01:42:39,880 --> 01:42:41,689
What? Suddenly
you're particular?
1603
01:42:42,760 --> 01:42:44,762
You're coming with me.
1604
01:42:51,320 --> 01:42:53,402
Robin and I are gettin' married.
1605
01:42:54,080 --> 01:42:56,686
We decided to adopt you.
1606
01:42:57,960 --> 01:43:00,566
Wha... You and Robin...
1607
01:43:01,000 --> 01:43:02,923
Yeah, well, we wanted
to start a family anyway,
1608
01:43:03,000 --> 01:43:06,049
and we figured this way at least
we know what we're gettin'.
1609
01:43:09,920 --> 01:43:12,924
Signed you up for Little League.
Don't embarrass me.
1610
01:43:21,080 --> 01:43:24,243
My son.
1611
01:43:52,640 --> 01:43:54,404
Okeydoke.
1612
01:43:54,480 --> 01:43:56,244
Watch your fingers.
1613
01:43:56,320 --> 01:43:59,927
Hi, honey, I'm home! Look
what the stork brought us.
1614
01:44:00,000 --> 01:44:01,729
Ah, hi, Uncle Joe.
Hello, Robin.
1615
01:44:03,920 --> 01:44:05,365
Danny bought me a hat.
1616
01:44:06,960 --> 01:44:09,167
Smart choice.
1617
01:44:09,960 --> 01:44:11,530
Well, this is my place,
1618
01:44:11,640 --> 01:44:15,008
and I think we'll all
be very comfortable here.
1619
01:44:16,640 --> 01:44:17,920
Would you like to see your room?
1620
01:44:18,280 --> 01:44:19,281
Sure.
1621
01:44:19,680 --> 01:44:20,886
Great.
Here we go.
1622
01:44:28,840 --> 01:44:31,286
Uh, there's a bed coming
and furniture.
1623
01:44:31,360 --> 01:44:34,648
And we can squeeze all this
other stuff into our room.
1624
01:44:35,000 --> 01:44:36,126
What do you think?
1625
01:44:36,680 --> 01:44:37,681
I don't like it.
1626
01:44:39,400 --> 01:44:42,210
Uh, Uncle Joe, Robin went
to a lot of trouble here.
1627
01:44:42,360 --> 01:44:44,124
Sorry. I don't like it.
1628
01:44:46,080 --> 01:44:50,130
Well, uh, we could trade rooms.
1629
01:44:50,880 --> 01:44:52,211
Come here.
1630
01:45:02,520 --> 01:45:06,605
Now, Danny and I will stay in
there and you can have this room.
1631
01:45:07,000 --> 01:45:09,048
How 'bout that?
1632
01:45:10,880 --> 01:45:12,041
I don't like it.
1633
01:45:12,720 --> 01:45:14,688
Well, you know what?
1634
01:45:15,000 --> 01:45:16,570
It's probably just temporary.
1635
01:45:16,600 --> 01:45:19,763
In a year or so Danny and I'll buy a house.
I won't like it.
1636
01:45:20,080 --> 01:45:24,130
He's great, isn't he?
1637
01:45:24,400 --> 01:45:27,324
He's like that piece of corn
that gets stuck in your teeth,
1638
01:45:27,400 --> 01:45:30,768
and you keep sucking on it
to get it out, but you can't.
1639
01:45:34,960 --> 01:45:38,726
I'd like to go back to my mansion.
I love my mansion.
1640
01:45:40,880 --> 01:45:42,564
Oh, God.
1641
01:45:45,880 --> 01:45:48,326
Try to understand, okay?
1642
01:45:50,720 --> 01:45:52,051
It's gone.
1643
01:45:54,600 --> 01:45:56,329
Everything is gone.
1644
01:45:57,280 --> 01:45:59,282
You don't have your house.
1645
01:45:59,800 --> 01:46:01,848
You don't have your money.
1646
01:46:02,160 --> 01:46:04,401
You don't have the scrap yard.
1647
01:46:05,080 --> 01:46:06,730
You don't even have your hat.
1648
01:46:19,960 --> 01:46:21,246
Look out the window.
1649
01:46:22,640 --> 01:46:23,926
Go ahead.
1650
01:46:49,840 --> 01:46:51,683
You're not broke,
are you, Uncle Joe?
1651
01:46:52,320 --> 01:46:54,527
I'm richer than shit.
1652
01:46:57,360 --> 01:46:59,408
The meeting with your attorneys,
1653
01:47:00,600 --> 01:47:02,360
them hauling the furniture
out of your house,
1654
01:47:02,400 --> 01:47:03,686
you sitting in that ward?
1655
01:47:04,120 --> 01:47:07,090
A show, Danny.
You put on a show for me.
1656
01:47:07,680 --> 01:47:09,444
The lawyers and I
put on a show for you.
1657
01:47:09,520 --> 01:47:11,204
I knew that guy at the house
wasn't your father.
1658
01:47:11,320 --> 01:47:12,367
What, do you think I'm an idiot?
1659
01:47:12,440 --> 01:47:15,569
And do you think I'm stupid
enough to lose my money? Eh!
1660
01:47:16,600 --> 01:47:20,047
But why? I mean, why would you
make something like that up?
1661
01:47:20,560 --> 01:47:25,248
Hey, I had to know
who really loves me, huh?
1662
01:47:27,920 --> 01:47:31,242
Yeah, I went and found Molly.
I like her. She's a nice kid.
1663
01:47:32,200 --> 01:47:34,202
Well, shall we go?
1664
01:47:36,160 --> 01:47:38,527
I want you two to live
with me from now on.
1665
01:47:38,800 --> 01:47:42,600
Not just live with me.
Whatever I own, you own.
1666
01:47:42,840 --> 01:47:45,730
What's mine is yours. Ready?
1667
01:47:47,560 --> 01:47:49,722
Uncle Joe, I don't know
what to say. It's...
1668
01:47:49,800 --> 01:47:54,089
No, no, wait, no!
You can't do this to people.
1669
01:47:54,840 --> 01:47:59,050
I mean, you can't lie and fake and
manipulate. I won't accept that.
1670
01:47:59,840 --> 01:48:02,002
So you don't want to come
and live with me?
1671
01:48:02,240 --> 01:48:04,242
You didn't let me finish.
1672
01:48:05,720 --> 01:48:10,681
Just this once, I'm gonna
let you off with a warning.
1673
01:48:12,400 --> 01:48:13,447
Thank you.
1674
01:48:14,440 --> 01:48:16,966
But you gotta promise us,
Uncle Joe,
1675
01:48:17,640 --> 01:48:22,931
no more deception,
no more games, no more lies.
1676
01:48:24,000 --> 01:48:25,331
You promise?
1677
01:48:26,600 --> 01:48:27,931
I promise.
1678
01:48:28,160 --> 01:48:30,083
Now, come on.
Let's go.