1
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:09,639
Come on. Let's go.
2
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,596
Wait a minute!
You can't just return them.
3
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,275
They said I wasn't a good fit.
4
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,910
There'll be another
family, Michelle.
5
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,991
Oh, come on!
Wait a minute!
6
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,596
What's the matter with me?
7
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:42,432
Not a thing, Michelle.
8
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,669
God's children are all perfect.
9
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,152
In their own way.
10
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,077
Fuck you!
11
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,756
Never lose hope, Michelle.
12
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,549
There's a family out
there for everyone.
13
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,835
Come on, Agnes.
Families are for suckers.
14
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,794
Don't worry about me.
I don't need anybody.
15
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,711
I'm going straight to the top.
16
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,636
Michelle. Michelle?
17
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,696
- Michelle! Michelle! Michelle!
- Michelle?
18
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,474
She's the CEO of three
Fortune 500 companies
19
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:27,076
and the best-selling financial
author of Money Talks, Bullshit Walks.
20
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,232
The one, the only,
Michelle Darnell!
21
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,677
Who wants to make some money?
22
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,752
I can't hear you, Chicago!
23
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:46,955
Get those hands up!
24
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,470
Come on! There we go!
25
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,576
MD going in on the verse
'Cause I never been defeated
26
00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,635
And I won't stop now
27
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:00,856
Keep your hands up,
put 'em in the sky
28
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,856
For the homies didn't make it
and my folks locked down
29
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:04,598
I never went nowhere
30
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,672
They're saying 'Chelle's back
Blame it on the conjure
31
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,318
They call it M.D. -ac
32
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,038
Can 't never count me out
33
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,439
Y'all better count me in
34
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,637
Got twenty bank accounts
Accountants count me in
35
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,233
Make millions every year
36
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,958
The Chi's champion
37
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,996
'Cause all I do is...
38
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,037
Give it up for T-Pain!
39
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,634
All I do is win, win, win no
matter what Got money on my mind
40
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,119
I can never get enough
41
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,192
And every time I
step up in the building
42
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,271
Everybody hands go up
43
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,835
And they stay there
44
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,717
And they say yeah
45
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,028
And they stay there
46
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,350
Up down, up down, up down
47
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,398
'Cause all I do is win, win, win
48
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,393
And if you goin' in put your hands
in the air Make them stay there
49
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,476
Thank you, Chicago!
50
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,597
Thank you. All right.
51
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:04,755
I love you!
52
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,512
Thank you. I love you, too.
53
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,232
My name is Michelle Darnell
54
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:11,357
and I am the 47th wealthiest
woman in America.
55
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:15,079
How wealthy am I?
56
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,596
I had Destiny's Child reunite
57
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,670
only to have them come over
to my personal living room
58
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,830
so I could watch
them break apart again.
59
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,000
Huh?
60
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,510
How did I get to my success level?
What's my secret?
61
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,751
I worked myself silly.
62
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,358
Okay, number one.
63
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,635
You work your ass off
to get what you want.
64
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:42,236
Number two. You do not let
other people drag you down.
65
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,719
'Cause they will.
66
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:50,151
They are an anchor in your
life that you do not want.
67
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,357
Cut 'em loose and sail off.
68
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,232
If you work this program...
69
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,392
You. Will. Get. Rich.
70
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,239
And I'm not talking
about chump change.
71
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:07,233
And I'm not talking about some loose
dollar bills at the bottom of your purse.
72
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,153
I'm talking about
real fucking money!
73
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,470
Life-changing money!
74
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,953
Real fucking money! Real fucking money!
75
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,393
That's how you do it.
76
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,511
Now let's go make some money!
77
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,352
Thank you, Tito.
What a night!
78
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,475
That's right, MD.
79
00:05:58,680 --> 00:05:59,715
Yeah.
80
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,395
I don't know if it's gonna fit
if you buy it online.
81
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,159
Oh, you know the rules, boys.
Go, go, go, go!
82
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:09,353
If I have to wait for an elevator,
one of you is carrying me up the stairs
83
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,440
on their back.
84
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,471
Good evening, Ms. Darnell...
No, no, no.
85
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,669
Oh...
86
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,951
Oh, and I was looking
forward to a piggy-back ride.
87
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,040
Ah.
88
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,028
Come on, Tito.
89
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:21,440
Good evening.
Have a good evening.
90
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,480
Claire.
91
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,357
Have a good evening, Miss Darnell.
Yeah.
92
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,271
Shut the doors, Paul.
It's...
93
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,536
It's shutting. It's automatic.
It's coming. Oh, it's coming.
94
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,616
Right. There it goes.
Good night. Yeah, there it goes.
95
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:32,640
Jesus Christ.
96
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,198
Oh, my God. Um...
97
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,316
You didn't press it.
Can I fuck 'em up?
98
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,391
It's dealers choice.
It's up to you, really.
99
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:43,816
I'd run, boys.
I'm gonna fuck 'em up.
100
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:44,840
Oh, Jesus!
Jesus Christ.
101
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,633
I'm amazed that the United
Center is even still standing
102
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,239
because I crushed it tonight.
103
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:51,719
You crushed it like velvet.
104
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,678
Like velvet! Send T-Pain some
"thank you" flowers.
105
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:55,760
Okay?
Okay.
106
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,990
Look into getting more
fire power to that bird.
107
00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,718
Absolutely.
More power.
108
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,995
No. The fire marshal
almost shut us down
109
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,760
based on the pyrotechnics
we used tonight.
110
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:04,896
I don't think that's an option.
111
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,911
Let's hire a new fire marshal.
112
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,309
I don't think you
can hire a fire marshal.
113
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,231
I think it's a
city-appointed position,
114
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:12,355
but I'll look into it.
115
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,314
All she does
is win, Claire. Toot-toot!
116
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,153
I got this, Tito.
Okay? You can sit this one out.
117
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,360
Claire?
118
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,118
Oh, teeth whitening.
Sorry. Sorry, yes.
119
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,553
My God.
Sorry.
120
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,914
Hmm. I have to remind you.
That seems...
121
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,113
That seems like
a little the opposite, right?
122
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,200
Yeah.
123
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,831
Okay. Yeah,
I think if you keep your...
124
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,639
You need to keep your tongue inside
your mouth for this to work.
125
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,474
Last week you very specifically said,
"Keep tongue out."
126
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,152
No.
You did say that, Claire.
127
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,276
I said, "Get your tongue out of
the picture."
128
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,799
She's got to breathe, Claire.
129
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,632
Somebody must be hungry.
130
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,553
Somebody gets very crabby
when she's hungry.
131
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,393
You're a little hangry, Claire.
132
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:54,879
I'm not hangry, Tito.
133
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,309
Hungry and angry.
You hangry, Claire.
134
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:58,913
Sixty seconds of no talking.
135
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,496
'Cause this has to
set for 60 seconds.
136
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:01,936
I've been waiting.
I mean, I'm in here.
137
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,536
You're the only one
that's talking, Claire.
138
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,869
You're the only one talking.
It's hilarious.
139
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:11,034
It's like that classic comedy gag,
"He's on my baseball."
140
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,839
Who's on my baseball?
141
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,521
Uh, who's on my baseball?
142
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,431
Oh, no it's...
Who's on my baseball?
143
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:22,155
I think it's, "Who's on first. What's on second?
I Don't Know is on third."
144
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,240
Right?
145
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,594
I don't think that's...
Uh, no.
146
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,549
I think you're on my baseball.
147
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,358
Who's on my baseball?
First base.
148
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,030
What's on my baseball?
149
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:37,479
Baseball
150
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,869
Great. So, since I
have you for a second,
151
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,509
you told me to remind you
exactly a year ago today
152
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,229
that it's been three years
since my last pay increase.
153
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,833
I don't think that's true.
154
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,558
That doesn't ring...
155
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,278
Does that seem accurate to you?
156
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,392
That sounds false.
157
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:56,758
But you crushed it tonight!
158
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,479
It's not false, Tito.
It's entirely accurate.
159
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,830
And I wrote down what you said.
160
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,718
Oh, Claire, I don't know why
you always have to quote.
161
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,109
"Claire, exactly
one year from today
162
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,634
"I'm going to give
you a raise so big
163
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:12,678
"you'll cream your jeans
and shat your chaps."
164
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,594
Claire. That is
wildly inappropriate.
165
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,592
- Wildly.
- Lowbrow, Claire.
166
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:21,148
I run your entire
organization, Michelle.
167
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,400
I do a great job.
168
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,755
I made myself available
for you 24 hours a day
169
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,354
while being a single mom,
I might add.
170
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,908
I deserve a raise
and a title change.
171
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,558
I'd like
"Executive Assistant."
172
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:36,070
Now that surprises me,
'cause I did not know that you had a child.
173
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,479
Was that through...
Was that through intercourse?
174
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:40,760
Yes.
175
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,320
You know what?
Good for you.
176
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,235
Michelle, if you can't
give me a raise,
177
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:46,833
I can't continue to work here.
178
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,758
Well, look who finally
showed up to my seminar.
179
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,069
'Bout time, Claire. I love it.
180
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,056
I didn't know if you were
listening all these years.
181
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,195
What am I always saying?
182
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,435
"Don't go in that room."
183
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,159
True. I do say that.
But I also say,
184
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,153
"If you want something,
you gotta take it."
185
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,276
Claire, you just took it.
186
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,191
And you grew
a pair in the process.
187
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,656
I'm holding your earrings.
188
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,875
You're holding
a pair of earrings
189
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,391
that in 2001,
I paid $62,000 for.
190
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,794
And that's your raise, now.
That's a good raise.
191
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:21,995
And you earned it.
192
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,395
Thank you.
193
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,835
Congratulations on
your balls, Claire.
194
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,936
Isn't Tito the greatest?
195
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,279
I love Tito.
196
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:31,856
What are you doing up here?
197
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,553
Miss Darnell, this just came for you.
They said it was urgent.
198
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,395
Oh, it's ringing.
199
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,160
Oh, boy.
200
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,239
Go for Darnell.
201
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,109
I will not be ignored.
202
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,360
Ah.
203
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,711
Hi there, Ronald.
204
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:55,475
It's "Renault."
205
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,838
Why are you muscling
in on my Takoro deal?
206
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,392
You know what?
A little birdie told me
207
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,199
that Takoro was merging
with Samson International.
208
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,271
So I acquired the
majority of the stock.
209
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,828
That's called
insider trading, Michelle.
210
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,751
Which makes you a criminal.
211
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,195
You're going to be sorry
you ever dishonored me.
212
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,919
God, for the last time,
you're not a samurai, Ronald.
213
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,000
It's "Renault"!
214
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,356
No, it's not.
It's "Ron," and you're from Jersey.
215
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,359
Phil. Take off that
ridiculous top.
216
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,198
You should never cover that up.
217
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,315
Okay.
218
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,354
Please don't forget you have an
interview first thing Monday.
219
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:36,509
We'll see.
220
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,277
Let me just... Let me just
help you out there.
221
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,432
You'll regret this, Michelle!
222
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,198
Get me the SEC.
223
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,280
Okay.
224
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,595
We are back with the one and only,
Michelle Darnell.
225
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,875
Let's talk about your
relationship with your mentor,
226
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,315
that mega mogul, Ida Marquette.
227
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,553
Well, Gayle, we've got
a terrific relationship.
228
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,278
Really? I'm so
surprised to hear that,
229
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,716
only because we came across
this tape the other day. Take a look.
230
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,070
- Oh.
- I was Michelle's mentor.
231
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,832
It's so hard to describe her.
232
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,913
She's a business woman,
a visionary, a leader,
233
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,514
a natural born
cocksucker, a motherfucker,
234
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,795
an ass-wipe, a shit stain,
235
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:29,668
and sewer rat,
fuck-face, professional.
236
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,832
Doesn't sound so chummy.
237
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,793
Oh, I think a couple of those
beeps were actually compliments.
238
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,438
That's one way to look at it.
239
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,158
Michelle, I want to
talk about you.
240
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,232
That you were, basically,
abandoned as a child,
241
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,834
bounced around from foster
home to foster home,
242
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,753
and that, really, you were
raised in an orphanage.
243
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,114
No, no, no.
244
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:54,513
I was lucky enough to attend a beautiful,
lovely elite boarding school,
245
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,194
very much like Hogwarts,
to give you a visual.
246
00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,636
And almost as magical.
I feel very lucky.
247
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,148
Where'd you get that?
248
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,896
We've got a really
good research team,
249
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,856
and when I look at that picture,
I don't think "elite."
250
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,552
Can we talk about
this for a second?
251
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,796
This interview is over.
Where are you going?
252
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,440
I was not trying to
upset you, Michelle.
253
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,016
- Why are you leaving?
- You know what, Gayle?
254
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,873
Nobody spells "Gayle" with a "Y ".
It's pretentious.
255
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,759
You've got a great
story to tell.
256
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,193
Keeping the mic!
257
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,720
Gayle King ambushed me.
You get that segment pulled before it airs.
258
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:29,936
Miss Darnell,
you're under arrest
259
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,721
for insider trading and defrauding
the Securities Exchange Commission.
260
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,429
Are you kidding me?
261
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:35,669
Would I kid you?
262
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,239
Claire, call my lawyer.
Okay.
263
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:38,355
Stay back.
264
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,396
What do you make a year?
I'll double it.
265
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,629
Did you just try to bribe me?
266
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,154
No. I mean,
unless you're tempted...
267
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,592
Hey! This is...
268
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,950
This is not
reasonable. Claire!
269
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,440
Don't fight it, Michelle!
Let me go!
270
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,074
Ooh. Don't struggle, baby!
271
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,314
Renault ratted me out!
272
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,312
It's just insider trading!
Everybody does it!
273
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,237
You are fighting
with the wrong redhead!
274
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,558
Yeah. I'm out.
275
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,200
I'mma get my job back
at Best Buy. Boom!
276
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,393
God, you're the worst.
277
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,216
In breaking news...
278
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,437
Michelle Darnell was sentenced
to five months in federal prison
279
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,873
for insider trading.
280
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,160
Currently, Darnell Enterprise stocks...
281
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,430
I told you you'd regret it.
282
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,829
You can really
hold onto a grudge.
283
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,558
I can't believe
you two used to date.
284
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,016
Ah. It was
the Go-Go Nineties.
285
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,235
She was my yin, I was her yang.
286
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:32,957
Our bodies were intertwined, but our
spirits were in constant opposition.
287
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,109
Dynamic.
288
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,080
I got this promotion locked!
289
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,275
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
290
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,696
Don't worry.
Once I become senior VP,
291
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,040
nothing's gonna
change between us.
292
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,078
It better not. You look so
fucking rad when you do coke.
293
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,876
Hey, guys! Guys!
294
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,029
What?
295
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,080
They're about to announce
who gets the promotion.
296
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,275
Pretty exciting, huh?
297
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:56,759
Fuck off, Bryce!
298
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,958
All right, listen up, everybody.
299
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,314
I'd like you all to join me
300
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:05,838
in offering a hearty congratulations
to our newest senior VP.
301
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,233
Michelle Darnell!
302
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,069
Oh, my...
303
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,798
What?
Oh, my God.
304
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,515
I totally...
305
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,911
Fuck off if you
think that you can take
306
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,638
my client list and I
wasn't gonna notice.
307
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:19,755
You bitch.
308
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,593
Oh, thank you!
That's so supportive, Ron.
309
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,432
I couldn't have
done it without you.
310
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,319
Ron! Coffee!
311
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,119
"Ron" is gone.
312
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,588
End of broadcast.
313
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:37,520
It's bullshit, Marty.
314
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,068
I take one little
tip from an insider
315
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,435
and I find myself in
an absolute hellhole.
316
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,876
I mean, look at me,
fighting for my life in the yard.
317
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,359
Well, the news gets worse.
318
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,869
- All your accounts have been frozen.
- What?
319
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,196
Your shareholders
have all sold off.
320
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,157
Renault is orchestrating
a hostile takeover
321
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,111
of your entire holding company.
322
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,111
No.
Darnell Enterprises is bankrupt.
323
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,839
Can he do that?
Turn off the machine, Don.
324
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,114
No, he cannot.
325
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,873
Yes, he can.
He actually did it beautifully.
326
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,031
That's my Adam's apple,
you bitch!
327
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,951
Claire, get me a new lawyer.
328
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,176
There's not gonna
be another lawyer
329
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,315
if you don't have any money,
330
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,674
you stupid ginger!
331
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,153
You know what?
I'm a ginger, but I'm a natural redhead.
332
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,719
Not that you're
ever gonna find out.
333
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,473
Because you will never be
invited into my basement.
334
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,232
I don't wanna see your basement!
335
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,320
Yes, you do!
336
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,231
And by the way,
Claire works for me.
337
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:31,400
Actually, Michelle,
338
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,388
I can't work for you anymore.
I got a new job.
339
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,232
I just came to tell
you as a courtesy.
340
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,392
I would think
a courtesy would be
341
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,755
you sticking with me through
my tough times, Claire.
342
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,910
I would. You know
I have a kid to think about, so...
343
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,353
You have a kid?
344
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,149
I can't tell if you're joking
because I did tell you
345
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,196
that I do have
a kid. And I... I am.
346
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,320
Remember?
Yes.
347
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,755
You do?
I am. I'm joking. I gotcha.
348
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,068
Okay.
Zinger.
349
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,591
Hello, gal.
I wasn't into you but I was flattered.
350
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,756
Okay, here we go. Tom, do
you mind grabbing that bag for me?
351
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,192
Kimberly, I thought
you had today off.
352
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,376
Yeah, I knew you were leaving.
353
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,656
You're sweet, Kimberly.
354
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,360
Now, you're gonna remember
what I told you?
355
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,440
Yes.
Okay?
356
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,879
Stocks are gonna go up and down.
357
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,678
The big money's
in the long game.
358
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:17,875
Thank you so much, Michelle.
359
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,240
Thank you, Tom.
You're so sweet.
360
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:21,696
We're actually gonna
miss you around here.
361
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,473
Well, I would hope so!
It sounds right to me.
362
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,710
All right, give me my freedom.
363
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,634
Yep, the air is
sweeter out here.
364
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,834
Did you set up a ride?
365
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,478
No, I was assuming
that a town car
366
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,073
or something would be provided.
367
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,718
Lock it up, Danny.
368
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,150
You know, she thought
a town car was coming!
369
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,758
Well, could you call a cab?
370
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:55,994
I'll get one myself.
371
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:04,355
Okay, this is
my house right up here. This is good.
372
00:18:58,640 --> 00:18:59,834
Oh, come on!
373
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:02,800
Hey!
374
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,629
Can you please stop
ringing the door?
375
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,439
Hi. Does Claire Rawlings
live here?
376
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:09,555
I don't know.
377
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,270
You don't know because you're
not very bright, or...
378
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,915
I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.
379
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,831
You know what?
Are you Claire's daughter?
380
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,717
I thought you were in jail.
381
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:24,718
Aren't you charming for yelling
that out on the street like that.
382
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,754
May I?
383
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:27,909
No way.
384
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:29,588
Why not?
385
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,592
Because Mom's at work and
you're fresh out of prison.
386
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,239
Okay, white-collar
crime doesn't count!
387
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:37,679
Yes, it does!
388
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,910
No, it does not.
It does not.
389
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,349
Hi.
Hi.
390
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:55,749
Whoa.
391
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,190
Claire. Wow.
392
00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,400
Hi, Dana.
393
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,477
My goodness, you are so late.
394
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:03,560
I am?
395
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,874
You're right. You're
absolutely right, Dana.
396
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,678
I'm three minutes late.
397
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,479
Hey, do you work at
the excuse factory?
398
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:14,696
I wasn't making an excuse.
I was just agreeing that I was a little...
399
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,073
Well, I think that you're saying
400
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,230
this is an
excuse factory, right?
401
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,759
Hey! Yo, Dana!
Hey, hey, hey.
402
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,398
So, hey, I wanted to tell you.
403
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,416
There is a bunch of people
gathered in the break room...
404
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:24,440
What, why?
405
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,296
...just raving about
your fourth-quarter review.
406
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:27,514
Who is? What?
407
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:28,915
That's why I was late.
408
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:32,794
Because we were all up there, you know,
trading our favorite Dana stories.
409
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,677
So it was...
It's positive...
410
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,216
It's good buzz?
There's a lot of good buzz?
411
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,016
Buzzworthy. Absolutely, yeah.
I mean, they're raving.
412
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,156
I have to go get coffee.
Yeah, you do.
413
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,312
She's a nightmare.
She's a tool.
414
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,799
She's so many things.
415
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,836
She is definitely
a lot of things.
416
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,114
Uh...
417
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,816
Look at this, look at this!
We have so much in common, me and you.
418
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,160
We have a good
banter here, right?
419
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,240
A little back and forth.
420
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,753
I think maybe we should
421
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,816
try and keep this little
banter wagon going, right?
422
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:56,955
Maybe we can go hang out...
423
00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,555
We can dish about the boss,
and gossip about stuff and...
424
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,976
You know, probably do it
over dinner or something,
425
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,991
'cause all that dishing
can be exhausting.
426
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,559
Work up an appetite.
427
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,518
Yeah, well, I'm...
First of all, I'm flattered.
428
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,200
It's a little
complicated for me.
429
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,272
I'm a single mom and I
really try to, you know,
430
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,316
devote a ton of
energy to my kid,
431
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,576
and see her as much as possible.
432
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,592
I just don't think
that it's a good time.
433
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,238
Yeah, cool.
434
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:23,833
I was hoping you would say that
435
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,036
because I love rejection, so...
436
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:27,634
Cool.
Cool.
437
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:28,755
Sorry.
438
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,877
Michelle.
439
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:50,795
Michelle.
440
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,436
Hello.
Hi!
441
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,232
Hi. Hello, Claire.
442
00:21:58,640 --> 00:21:59,709
Surprise!
443
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,392
What are you doing here?
444
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,518
Oh, well, I had stopped
at our old office
445
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,230
and the security
gentlemen did mention
446
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,551
that you were now
the curator of my estate.
447
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:14,150
So, I just thought
I should pop over
448
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,037
and maybe pick up my things.
449
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,957
Okay, I guess you wanna
come up and grab it.
450
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,076
Yes, absolutely.
Do you need...
451
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,069
If you'd like,
you can grab that trunk.
452
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,160
Oh, no.
453
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,479
Well, this is just...
454
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:35,720
This is...
455
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:37,994
This can't be all of it.
456
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,911
I mean,
this isn't all of it. This is...
457
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,272
Where are my things?
458
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:46,514
My paintings, or, I mean,
my Degas, my rugs, my...
459
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,759
Where are my things?
I'm really sorry, Michelle.
460
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,512
They seized everything.
461
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:52,914
This is what's left.
462
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,119
Martha Stewart
got everything back.
463
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,794
I mean, they rallied around her.
They loved her more.
464
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,634
Well, Michelle, know that Rachel
and I are rooting for you,
465
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,757
and, if you need us,
you can always call
466
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,917
or send a letter here,
or just a quick text.
467
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,080
Um, do you want me to
help you out with this?
468
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,353
If she doesn't have anywhere to go,
she should stay here.
469
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,989
Honey, she knows plenty of people.
She has plenty of places to stay.
470
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,715
Tito won't return
any of my calls.
471
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,673
My sweet Tito.
472
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:35,118
Fucking Tito.
473
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,829
Mom, we can't let her
sleep on the street.
474
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,116
Do you really not
have anywhere to go?
475
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,198
No. I don't.
476
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,157
Okay, you can stay here.
477
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,915
But for a very limited
amount of time. Okay?
478
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:49,576
Yes. Just until you get
back on your feet.
479
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:50,600
- All right?
- Yes.
480
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,120
It's a small
space. You know.
481
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,077
It's tight sometimes
for Rachel and I, so...
482
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,112
It is really small, it's
like... It's freaky small.
483
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,395
Well, but you're welcome, here.
484
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,199
If you need to crash,
you can have the couch.
485
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,191
Yes. We'll draw straws.
Okay.
486
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,350
It'll be a fun
kind of roommate...
487
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:07,475
It's not a negotiation.
488
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,669
...stuff. Okay.
489
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:11,600
Ha.
490
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,952
A bed inside a sofa.
That's neat.
491
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,554
Well, it's old,
but it's comfortable, so...
492
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:19,315
Thank you, Claire.
493
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:20,915
Good night, Michelle.
494
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:26,995
It's...
495
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:29,875
Well...
496
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,400
This isn't so...
497
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,314
Oh, my God! Oh, God!
498
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:44,429
Claire!
499
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,234
I think I've
shattered my pelvis.
500
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,831
Oh, Michelle!
Oh, my God.
501
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:03,989
Claire!
502
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,833
Michelle, why are you in my bed?
503
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,070
Because your sofa
threw me against a wall,
504
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,350
and I've had a cellie
for the last six months.
505
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,273
I find it very difficult
to sleep on my own.
506
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,552
Wow. Okay.
You're kicking up a lot of...
507
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,278
Is that from...
Is that me?
508
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:19,360
I think...
509
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,032
Yeah, that's me.
510
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:22,599
You know what?
I got into
511
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,352
a wee bit of your
Scotch last night.
512
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,431
And, you know what else I tried
513
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,596
that I thought was
terrific, was a Dorito.
514
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:30,189
I think it was the cheese.
515
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,875
I mean not a cheese found in nature,
but cheese-adjacent.
516
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,394
I just thought it was wonderful.
517
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,913
What a wonderful chip.
518
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,116
Michelle, you can't sleep in my bed.
I don't want you in here.
519
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,679
You gotta get it
together, Michelle.
520
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,478
I am together, okay?
521
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,313
This morning, I'm meeting with
a bunch of old colleagues.
522
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:49,953
I'm gonna pour this
into something
523
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,519
creamy and delicious,
524
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,192
and see who takes a big sip.
525
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:54,673
Get out, out of my bed.
526
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:59,038
God. I see why this half
of the bed maybe is empty.
527
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,879
Okay? You're a real
B-I-T-C-U-N-T in the morning.
528
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,757
You think about that.
529
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,720
Michelle, you gotta
get out of the bathroom.
530
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,752
I'm already late for work and
Rachel's gonna be late for school.
531
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,456
Well, I'm going
as fast as I can.
532
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:13,833
You're welcome to come in.
533
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,914
Fine, but we gotta get on a
schedule if you're gonna be here...
534
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,194
Oh, my God!
535
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,029
Close your robe.
536
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:21,275
No, absolutely not!
537
00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:24,397
I'm self-tanning and
my legs are still wet.
538
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,592
I can see your vagina.
539
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,194
Well, congratulations
and you're welcome!
540
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,669
You know, I had it
rejuvenated in 2010.
541
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,637
They call it a vaguvenation!
542
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,833
You know, it's like
a soft silk coin purse.
543
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,512
I can barely urinate.
544
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:39,669
Oh, my God!
545
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:40,829
Now, do me a favor
546
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,150
and tell me if I have
any streaks on my hamstrings.
547
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:44,389
Oh, God!
Put it away!
548
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:45,715
Whoa.
Put it away.
549
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:47,952
Hi, Raquel!
550
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,109
It's Rachel!
551
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,320
Go grab your backpack, honey.
552
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,715
We don't need to brush our teeth today.
Our teeth are fine.
553
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,512
You need to wipe some of that off your face.
You know it dries darker?
554
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,192
- No, does it?
- Yes.
555
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,111
But that's not
what the bottle says.
556
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,836
Oh, it's okay. It's coming off
like a dream on your towel.
557
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,560
You need to
clean up the bathroom.
558
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:10,115
And consider staying away
from self-tanner altogether.
559
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,078
Your pelvic region
is the color of curry.
560
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,311
Namaste,
Claire. Thank you.
561
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:17,549
It's not a compliment.
562
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:18,680
Oh.
563
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,656
All right, here's
a little joke for everybody.
564
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,638
What do golfers do
on their day off?
565
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:30,400
Putter around.
566
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,837
Tom, I'm gonna crunch
those numbers for you,
567
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,800
but I'm going to make you
pay through the teeth.
568
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,668
Oh.
569
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:42,954
Bryce Crean!
570
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,077
Oh, my God!
How long has it been?
571
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,039
You old son of a bitch!
It has been too long!
572
00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:51,315
Terri. Hello, gentlemen. Hi...
573
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:52,955
Carl.
574
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:54,673
Oh. Look at that beard.
575
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,149
How's that old ball-and-chain
Pam treatin' ya?
576
00:27:58,200 --> 00:27:59,918
Pam passed away four months ago.
577
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,078
That's tough.
That's tough.
578
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:05,976
We're kind of in the middle of
something here, Michelle.
579
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,274
So, thank you very much.
580
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,757
Word on the street,
Bryce, is that
581
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:11,751
you're just about to
close on that Kraft deal.
582
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,354
So if you want me to
head up that division...
583
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:18,433
I think I could be a pretty big
asset to you on that account.
584
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,753
You've got no capital
and nobody likes you.
585
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:23,558
Nobody here at
this table likes you.
586
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,296
Nobody at this entire club likes you.
That's not true.
587
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,356
Horrible, horrible
feedback from everybody.
588
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,951
So, thank you for
the groveling. Good bye!
589
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,394
Fuck off, Bryce.
590
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,199
Yeah. You know what?
591
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,114
You wouldn't even be here
592
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,395
if I hadn't brought you
in as a junior executive.
593
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:42,800
And, Terri, you think
anybody else
594
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:44,176
would've hired you
right out of college?
595
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,031
No! I don't who
the fuck you three are.
596
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:47,160
But I'll guess this.
597
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,276
I bet you got here
climbing on my back somehow.
598
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,316
Carl, I gave you
that Landis account.
599
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,598
I handed you your career and I'm
the one that made Pam a sales rep!
600
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:56,795
Pam is dead.
601
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,319
Pam was a whore!
602
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,994
She fucked her way through
the whole IT department.
603
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,196
And Terri knows it,
'cause you were in on it, too!
604
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:04,999
- Yeah!
- The tech guys?
605
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:06,559
You think Pam did
all the tech guys?
606
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:10,275
The lowest, weirdest,
saddest guys!
607
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:11,679
That's who Pam fucked!
608
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,239
Go to hell, Michelle!
Go to hell!
609
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:16,118
When I get to hell,
I'll tell Pam that you said hello,
610
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,270
'cause she's probably down
there fucking IT guys.
611
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:22,632
Weird little guys,
carrying wires around in weird hats.
612
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,278
That's who she's
fucking in hell.
613
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:25,360
Yeah.
614
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:26,749
I don't need you.
615
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,479
I don't need you and
you're gonna be sorry.
616
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:30,993
'Cause I got
a sweet deal for you
617
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,593
and you're letting it walk out.
618
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,148
You know, you want to be dumbasses?
Be my guest.
619
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,390
I'll tell you what,
you're gonna regret this.
620
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,075
Yow!
621
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,916
Yow! Son of a bitch!
622
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,518
Holy shit!
Son of a bitch!
623
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,033
How'd she survive that?
624
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:49,792
'Cause she's horrible.
625
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:50,949
Let's go.
626
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,553
Mother of shite!
627
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:55,519
I dinged my pelvis again.
628
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:03,680
Ah.
629
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:06,799
Tell me everything.
Okay.
630
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:11,158
So, right off the top,
Bryce ordered a Nicoise salad
631
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,629
but he asked for the tuna
to be really well done.
632
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,096
But if it's a quality piece of tuna,
you don't wanna have it...
633
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,076
Not relevant.
Okay, right.
634
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,589
Bryce did everything
you asked him to do.
635
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:22,880
Michelle came in.
She was like,
636
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,000
"I wanna be in a business."
637
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,638
And he was like,
"No dice."
638
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,354
And then, she fell
down a flight of stairs.
639
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,476
Did she hurt her wonderful body?
640
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,437
I have a video of it.
Do you wanna see?
641
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:35,920
I'll tell you what.
642
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:37,480
- Oh, look at her.
- Mmm-hmm.
643
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:39,275
Oh.
644
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,513
Oh.
645
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,238
So you see the normal intestine.
646
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,672
Now, notice the difference between
that intestine and this intestine.
647
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,832
I'm getting light-headed.
Is there any of that brownie left?
648
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,837
Yeah. I feel like my
blood sugar's dropping.
649
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,912
I should probably pop
it with a little sugar.
650
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,916
Holy shit!
That is a good brownie.
651
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,000
Language.
652
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,976
Well, I'm sorry,
you give me a holy-shit brownie.
653
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,194
I'm gonna say,
"Holy shit!"
654
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:13,193
'Cause holy shit,
this is a good brownie.
655
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,589
I can't believe...
Your mom makes these, right?
656
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,591
Yeah, it's a family recipe.
657
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,029
Hi!
658
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,718
I'm pretty sure Michelle
has diverticulitis.
659
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:25,119
- What?
- I got it.
660
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:27,757
I think it's
pretty advanced, Claire.
661
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,068
Who said that?
662
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:30,229
Doctor Oz.
663
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:31,469
Look.
664
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:32,715
Oh, my God!
665
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,392
There's my colon again.
666
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,278
Okay, you need
to get off the couch
667
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,715
because you've been laying
down for about three weeks.
668
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,234
And, also, you have to start
pulling your weight around here.
669
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:43,435
We can start tonight.
670
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,590
You can take Rachel
to her Dandelions meeting.
671
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,631
What?
Why aren't you taking me?
672
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:48,755
Sweetie, I can't.
673
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:53,072
My boss, who is a massive fan of yours,
by the way,
674
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,390
has decided I need to go
back in for the evening.
675
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:56,520
Okay?
676
00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,513
Let's go! The most important part of
the plan being "get off the couch."
677
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,674
I don't think I
like sassy Claire.
678
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,640
All right. I want you to
give me the lowdown on this meeting.
679
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:12,750
What are my opportunities?
What are my pitfalls?
680
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:14,159
What do you mean?
681
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,435
Well, I want to know
what I'm walking into.
682
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,556
Oh, everyone's pretty nice.
683
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:24,430
I forgot how many people ride the "L."
It's kind of fascinating.
684
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,433
Some people depend on this.
Like, they don't have a car.
685
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:30,155
Well, I know that.
686
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,516
Roller-skating
or roller-blading?
687
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:35,475
Roller-blading.
688
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,278
Honey or agave nectar?
689
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,032
Agave.
No, they're both terrible.
690
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:41,317
Cell phone, landline?
691
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,630
What?
Oh, God.
692
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:45,798
Do you not know what that means?
693
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,836
No.
Oh, Jesus.
694
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,710
Okay, this
should be interesting.
695
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,430
Ladies, big news.
Great news.
696
00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:00,438
Marsha Swan's tabby cat,
Spaghetti, is on the mend
697
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,671
and expected to
make a full recovery.
698
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:05,034
Yay, Spaghetti!
699
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:08,715
Yay!
700
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,993
My daughter, Beth,
was so worried about Spaghetti.
701
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:14,991
Thank goodness she's
back on her feet.
702
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,072
Funny fact about Spaghetti,
she hates spaghetti.
703
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,397
You seem fucking crazy to me.
704
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:21,480
Excuse me?
705
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,158
Cute as a daisy to me.
706
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,150
Okay, now,
not to sound too kookie,
707
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,073
but let's talk
"cookie" sales, that is.
708
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:36,672
Okay, so this year,
we came in with $21,000.
709
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,717
Pretty good job, big bucks.
710
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:44,591
But Detroit is still in the lead
for the year with $189,000.
711
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,718
Can I just ask you,
are these numbers
712
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,512
you're talking about
just cookie sales?
713
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,558
And, if so, how many troupes
are we talking about here?
714
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:57,239
There are 3.2 million
Dandelions all over the world
715
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,357
blown across the earth,
making a difference.
716
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:01,634
Is this global?
717
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:05,356
Wait, I recognize you.
You're Michelle Darnell.
718
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,198
Please, don't make a fuss.
719
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:08,759
Oh, I'm gonna make a fuss.
720
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,673
You're a convicted felon sitting
in a room full of children.
721
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:12,954
You're a criminal.
722
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:14,393
It was white-collar crime.
723
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,072
Okay, you don't
have to defend me.
724
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,479
You're such a loser.
725
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:19,558
I'm sorry, what did he say?
726
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:20,920
What?
727
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,296
Well, I would...
Yeah.
728
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:23,878
Excuse me. Hi.
729
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:25,075
I gotta ask you.
730
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:28,914
Now are we talking part-time
or full-time employees here?
731
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,912
Nope, just happy volunteers.
732
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,000
What?
733
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:34,911
For your information,
jailbird...
734
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,753
She seems great.
735
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,115
The Dandelions helps girls
build leadership skills.
736
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,031
It looks good on their
high-school transcript
737
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:42,678
and they are bettering
their community,
738
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,279
which is more than
I can say for you.
739
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,396
A-ha. What is your name?
740
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:47,748
Helen Kreagan.
741
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,479
Oh, you know what? I think you
dropped something right here.
742
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,152
You go fuck yourself.
Go fuck yourself.
743
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:53,840
Go fuck yourself.
744
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:55,856
I don't think you know
who you're talking to.
745
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,440
I think I do.
And I think I want you to fuck off.
746
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,555
I don't think you do.
747
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:02,600
Oh, my gosh!
748
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:07,190
Can we just take a minute and
give congrats to Sarah, here?
749
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,758
Thank you.
It's Sandy. It's Sandy.
750
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:13,472
Or Sandy.
I like Sarah.
751
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:14,959
Whatever, either one.
752
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:18,191
I gotta know how much
are you selling these boxes for?
753
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:20,949
- Girls.
- $7.
754
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:22,189
$7?
755
00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:23,948
Ka-ching, right?
756
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:28,033
I got a guy in Shanghai who can make
this same box of cookies, 19 cents.
757
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,475
This is an official meeting
and you're interrupting it.
758
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,152
Let's take a poll,
show of hands.
759
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:33,918
Who finds Helen to be a bummer?
760
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:37,876
Lots of hands.
Oh, Helen.
761
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:39,678
Toot.
762
00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:42,878
Do something, Mom.
763
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:46,119
I object to parolees
attending our meetings
764
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:47,760
and I'd like to put
that in the minutes.
765
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:49,229
May I?
766
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:50,799
Let me just handle this.
767
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,916
Another great point by Helen.
768
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,149
You know what, Helen?
769
00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:55,719
If you don't get
off my fucking back,
770
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,037
I'm gonna shove a box of chocolate
clusters up that tight ass of yours.
771
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:01,480
Oh.
772
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:03,518
I would love to go to lunch.
773
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:07,713
You're on. You got yourself a date.
That sounds terrific, okay?
774
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,797
Sandy, I love that kerchief.
775
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:10,936
Was that necessary?
776
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,473
Super necessary.
Yeah.
777
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:28,919
Michelle?
778
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:30,435
Hi!
What are you doing?
779
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:31,714
What is all this?
780
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,358
This is my way back, m'kay?
781
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,795
You are looking
at Darnell 2.0.
782
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,558
I wondered when
you were getting up.
783
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,432
Have you not gone to bed yet?
784
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:41,272
No, I have been
up and percolating
785
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:43,191
since 11:00 p.m.
last night.
786
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,191
Just great stuff, Claire!
Okay.
787
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,395
You're having a breakdown.
788
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,995
No, no, no!
I'm having a breakthrough, because of you.
789
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,877
Sit down, I gotta show you this.
790
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:56,476
Let me introduce you
to my new golden goose...
791
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,629
Darnell's Darlings.
792
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:01,869
Rough sketches.
793
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:03,518
So, I know.
Those will be perfected.
794
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,160
But, really, tell me,
what's your initial thoughts?
795
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,392
Stalin.
Okay.
796
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,232
Communist youth.
All right!
797
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,313
Japanese-y black power?
798
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,960
My takeaway from
that is "powerful."
799
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,959
Powerful imagery and I'll take
that any day of the week.
800
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,195
Why are you up?
801
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,595
Sit down, sleepyhead.
Let's wake it up.
802
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,070
Claire, we're gonna
start a brownie company.
803
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:30,913
No, we're gonna
start a brownie empire.
804
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,560
Okay? And we're gonna call it
Darnell's Darlings.
805
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,037
Illinois alone has
25,000 Dandelions.
806
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:41,989
They're pulling in,
in one year, $32,500,000.
807
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,237
This is a global company.
808
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,834
The Dandelions are making
a billion dollars a year.
809
00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:50,357
Is that going in your pocket?
Helen's probably pocketing it.
810
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:52,271
I mean, that horrible
bitch would take teeth
811
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:54,277
right out of a kid.
Am I wrong?
812
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,830
If she could sell teeth,
she'd rip kids' teeth out.
813
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,954
I'm gonna let it go,
but Helen's horrible.
814
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,917
The Dandelions are
a non-profit, Michelle.
815
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,160
That money goes back into
great programs for the girls.
816
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,096
Oh, great programs?
That's interesting.
817
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,156
Rachel, do me a favor.
818
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:12,755
Tell your mom what was the last
"great program" you completed.
819
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,552
Go ahead, go ahead.
820
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,677
Scout leader Sandy gave me a
"Social Butterfly" badge.
821
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:18,954
That's great!
822
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,475
Tell her what a
"Social Butterfly" badge is.
823
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:26,031
I had to hold a conversation with
a new person for 30 minutes...
824
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:27,669
Okay.
...and demonstrate
825
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,318
how to be a good hostess.
826
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,918
Next week, I'm thinking
maybe they'll arrange marriages.
827
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:35,196
I'll tell you what,
I'm gonna design
828
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,276
a special new badge
for the Dandelions.
829
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,193
It's gonna be a real big one,
so no one misses it.
830
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:42,032
And I'm gonna make it
a picture of a woman.
831
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:46,079
A real sad woman with apron strings on,
bent over in front of an oven.
832
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:47,296
And it's gonna say,
"You know why
833
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,470
"we like vaginas
better than your mouth?
834
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,755
"Because they don't have
teeth and they don't talk."
835
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,320
And you could turn that badge
over and you're gonna realize
836
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,840
that there's a man in the oven
and she's giving him a blowjob.
837
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,315
Good luck earning that!
838
00:38:58,440 --> 00:38:59,589
Michelle!
839
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:01,558
I heard everything anyways.
840
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,956
These girls are gonna
earn some real money
841
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,871
that can go
towards a college fund,
842
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,875
give them empowerment,
give them a good sense of self.
843
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,871
I find that exciting, Claire.
844
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,271
It's a nice idea, Michelle,
845
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,238
but it's also a crazy one.
846
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,276
Claire, I want you
to listen to me.
847
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,830
You have an amazing product.
848
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,679
You make a mind-blowing brownie.
Okay.
849
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:30,918
And I can sell anything I believe in,
and I believe in your product.
850
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:34,670
We can be partners.
Not my assistant. Fifty-fifty.
851
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,639
That's how much I believe in this.
What do you say?
852
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,072
I have to keep my job, Michelle.
853
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:42,952
This is...
It's just too risky.
854
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:45,239
Come on.
855
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,791
You don't even
like your job, Mom.
856
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,591
Oh, that was beautiful timing.
857
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:51,829
I didn't even set that up.
858
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,756
You know what, Claire?
Keep your terrible job.
859
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:56,637
Do this on the side.
860
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,039
Okay? Plus,
it's gonna get me off your couch.
861
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:01,155
I'm in.
862
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:02,680
- You're in?
- Mmm-hmm.
863
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:04,229
Let's do it, people!
864
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,276
Okay, Rachel,
you go get dressed.
865
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,736
I'm gonna take you to school.
We're gonna get some new recruits!
866
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,115
It's 4:00 a.m.
I'm going back to bed.
867
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:12,315
Night, sweetie.
868
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:13,674
What? Okay, you know what?
869
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,796
You get your rest,
you're gonna need it!
870
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,394
We gotta recruit some
Darnell Darlings today!
871
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,317
Claire, my quarterback,
872
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,152
I need you to bust
ass into that kitchen
873
00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,834
and start making pan after
pan after pan of brownies,
874
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,070
'cause that's how fast
I'm gonna sell 'em, okay?
875
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,991
Right now?
Right now! All right?
876
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,071
I may have tried to
preheat that oven,
877
00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:33,231
so I think there's
a little bit of a gas leak.
878
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:34,760
Huh? If you think
about it, it may be
879
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:36,336
why you guys are
feeling a little logy.
880
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,511
Hey, Rach, you know what?
Don't go to sleep! Don't go to sleep!
881
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:40,600
Oh, my God!
882
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,590
Okay. We may
have to walk her.
883
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:48,434
Ah. You know what?
884
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,512
It feels good to kind of put the
shine and polish back on again.
885
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,430
People say it doesn't
matter, but it does.
886
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,800
Puts a little kick in your step.
887
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:01,279
Who is that beast?
888
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,796
That's Chrystal Delveccio.
889
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:06,030
She's always
getting into fist fights.
890
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,556
- Later, Dad.
- That's perfect.
891
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:10,880
That is exactly the kind
of gal we want to recruit.
892
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:12,473
You know what?
Another little tip.
893
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,120
Look for girls that are named
after precious stones.
894
00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:17,959
Topaz, Sapphire, Opal, Amber.
895
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:19,440
They're all gonna spiral down.
896
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:22,239
We want to get 'em when they're
angry and fresh going in.
897
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,595
Why don't you check out
Chrystal's availability?
898
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:25,960
Got it.
899
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,236
My mom never lets
me drink coffee.
900
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,311
Really, why?
901
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,313
She says it'll
stunt your growth.
902
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,118
That's not true.
That's crazy.
903
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,510
What, do you wanna
be freakishly tall?
904
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,354
All right. Get in there,
drum up some good recruits.
905
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,071
I feel kind of
sweaty and scared.
906
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,056
That's just the coffee kickin' in.
It's good for...
907
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,913
Oh, you know what?
Wait a minute, let me see something.
908
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,033
Oh, I may have switched them.
909
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,588
This one's yours. I put a little
splash of bourbon in mine.
910
00:41:57,680 --> 00:41:58,829
That's okay.
911
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:00,908
It's kind of a secret weapon.
912
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,118
It's what makes
the Irish so mean.
913
00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:04,798
And I can say that
'cause I'm Scottish!
914
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:06,749
Go get 'em!
915
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:11,869
And so, due to some
unforeseen complications,
916
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:13,791
and just, um...
917
00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,434
Giving up...
918
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,590
Spaghetti passed
away last night.
919
00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:19,233
Listen up, motherfuckers!
920
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,355
Michelle, language!
921
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:21,873
Who here wants to hear about
922
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,030
an un-freaking-believably
exciting opportunity?
923
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:25,280
Huh?
924
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,597
All right! Woo!
Look at this group!
925
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,351
All right. What's with
all the long faces?
926
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:31,714
Did somebody die?
927
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,633
Yeah. Spaghetti
died last night.
928
00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:35,948
Who is Spaghetti?
929
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:37,234
The cat.
930
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,311
The cat? Oh.
Can I be honest?
931
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:40,640
That cat probably killed himself
932
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:41,936
because his name
was "Spaghetti."
933
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:42,960
Right? Hey-oh!
934
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:44,149
- Michelle.
- Oh...
935
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,394
All right, okay.
Why don't you take off, Sandy?
936
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:48,674
It's my meeting and I'm...
937
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,074
Okay.
938
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:51,639
Go catch it. Go catch it.
939
00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:53,039
Really sorry about your loss.
940
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:55,749
As you already know,
my name is Michelle Darnell
941
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:56,840
and this is my partner.
942
00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:00,111
And by "partner," I don't mean like
girl-on-girl kind of stuff.
943
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:02,470
Whoa!
What's "girl-on-girl stuff"?
944
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,355
Uh, well, great question.
I love an inquisitive mind.
945
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:07,510
Girl-on-girl stuff is
really just referring to
946
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:10,114
something you're probably
gonna dabble with in college,
947
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:11,296
but not stick with, you know?
948
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:12,456
Let's not...
Don't tell her that.
949
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:13,549
Unless you're Hannah.
950
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:15,016
Hannah, you're gonna stick with it.
951
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,096
Don't... You know
what? Let's...
952
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,634
And I got a hunch that your
mom should've stuck with it.
953
00:43:18,720 --> 00:43:20,358
She wouldn't be so
pent-up and angry.
954
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:21,720
That's my hunch.
955
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:22,896
Let's change the subject.
956
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:26,799
We brought you guys some delicious
homemade brownie treats.
957
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,838
Ooh. Look at this!
We brought treats, everybody! Treats!
958
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,598
Let me ask you one question.
959
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,069
When you sell a box of cookies,
what do you get?
960
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,993
You get points that can
apply to your canoe trip.
961
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,548
Wrong, you get
a big plate of bullshit!
962
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:42,913
That is 100% right,
you beautiful giant!
963
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,468
Now, at Darnell's Darlings,
we don't think that's right.
964
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:47,989
We think if you go out
and sell a box of cookies,
965
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:49,593
we should give
you 5% commission.
966
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:51,916
5% commission,
every box you sell.
967
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,592
It was supposed
to be 10%, I think.
968
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,592
That's right, we did say that.
Yeah.
969
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,955
So far, you suck at this.
Just letting you know that.
970
00:43:58,040 --> 00:43:59,712
Okay, it's 10%.
971
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,360
You come work with us,
you get a share of the profits.
972
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:04,154
Okay. Or you can stay here!
973
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:05,840
Be my guest and,
I don't know, build some
974
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,189
dirty badger nests
in some kind of tree.
975
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,077
Or what did you
have planned, Sandy?
976
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:13,996
Well, actually, we were gonna build
a dirty badger nest in a tree.
977
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,638
My God.
978
00:44:16,720 --> 00:44:18,756
My God! And I was
making that up.
979
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:22,833
I was trying to think of the worst
possible scenario on Earth.
980
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:24,638
What the hell is
going on in here?
981
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:27,229
I leave the room for one minute
to talk to my landscaper
982
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:28,833
and the meeting
goes into the toilet?
983
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:30,513
Sorry, Helen, we're almost done.
984
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,433
Okay, you guys, the best part
about Darnell's Darlings
985
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,432
is that, for each
box sold, an extra 10%
986
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:38,636
will go into a college fund for you.
Okay?
987
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,672
We are gonna help you save
for your college education.
988
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,719
Wait, are you trying to poach
girls from a Dandelions meeting?
989
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,518
No!
990
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,512
Helen, we are not
trying to poach girls.
991
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:54,673
We are actively and definitely
poaching girls from this meeting.
992
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:55,856
Get your hands off me.
993
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,313
Fuck you, Helen!
You fuck you!
994
00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:59,593
Tell your little
shitty daughter,
995
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:01,989
never talk to
Rachel like that again.
996
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,116
- Let's um, go, girls.
- Okay, girls!
997
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:07,033
Whoever wants to go to the
fun room, come on with me!
998
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:10,795
Just down the hall. The bigger,
the better room. We got foosball!
999
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,151
Okay. And I promise,
no Helen!
1000
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,830
Bye, Helen!
Good luck with your product!
1001
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:17,629
Oh, man.
1002
00:45:17,720 --> 00:45:18,760
I mean, what is it, anyway?
1003
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:23,789
It looks like just a bunch of homemade,
gluten-filled, sugar-filled,
1004
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:25,553
diabetes cake.
1005
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,319
With chocolate!
1006
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:37,313
Oh, my God.
1007
00:45:38,720 --> 00:45:40,073
It's good.
1008
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:08,656
Now, what are we doing?
1009
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,830
Selling brownies!
1010
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:13,000
Okay, what do we say if
somebody doesn't want to buy?
1011
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:14,598
"Buy my brownies
or I'll kill you."
1012
00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:16,275
Don't say that, Chrystal.
1013
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:17,395
Say that.
That's perfect.
1014
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,431
All right,
now go make some money!
1015
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:21,394
Woo!
1016
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,238
The van
leaves at 7:00!
1017
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:25,470
If you're not back,
we will leave without you!
1018
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:27,949
No, we're not gonna leave.
Nobody's leaving you.
1019
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:29,837
We're leaving
at 7:00 sharp.
1020
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:32,031
- 7:00!
- The van'll be here.
1021
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:34,437
I didn't count
how many there were.
1022
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:36,834
I did. Whew.
Oh, good.
1023
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,349
Okay, these are cut
and cooled. Bag 'em.
1024
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:50,313
Michelle, are you helping?
1025
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:51,753
Yes, of course, I'm helping.
1026
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,616
By the way, don't give him
anymore freebies, okay?
1027
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,915
He's gotta pay for them,
just like everybody else.
1028
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:03,315
Oh, they're so good!
1029
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,914
There you are. All set.
1030
00:47:07,240 --> 00:47:08,275
Don't forget the tip.
1031
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:09,536
Now, how could I?
You're so big.
1032
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:11,755
You've said it so many times.
And, there, you got it.
1033
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,159
Hi, do you have money?
1034
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:20,915
Hey!
1035
00:47:21,240 --> 00:47:23,356
There ain't gonna be any
brownies left in the world.
1036
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,317
Get outta here.
Go sell brownies!
1037
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:28,717
Okay.
Hello, Bonnie!
1038
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:32,395
Look at this.
Patrice, take that.
1039
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:33,879
Take that and buy me something!
1040
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,678
I'm just kidding,
but if you want to...
1041
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:45,514
Remember, girls, when the houses
are nice, we double the price.
1042
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,068
Rich people don't
trust affordable snacks.
1043
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:50,794
- You know what? Let's go up to $10 a box.
- Hey!
1044
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:54,034
What do you think you're doing?
1045
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:55,633
Hi, Helen!
1046
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:58,633
We're participating
in the American Dream.
1047
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:00,199
Not on this street, you're not.
1048
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,111
This is Dandelion territory.
1049
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:03,400
It's okay, Helen, we'll just...
1050
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:04,959
Shut up, Sandy!
Okay.
1051
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,075
You guys are losers!
1052
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:08,390
Hey, suck my dick, Gigantor!
1053
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:09,536
You're fucking dead!
1054
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:10,595
Hannah, stop it!
1055
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:12,717
We are not gonna
behave like this!
1056
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:13,949
Michelle.
1057
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:15,395
A word?
1058
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,629
I'd be delighted.
1059
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:20,793
First rule of business, pretend to
negotiate and then take what you want.
1060
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,312
Listen, jailbird.
1061
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:29,312
You think because
you used to be someone
1062
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:30,799
that the rules
don't apply to you
1063
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,075
and your pathetic
band of rejects?
1064
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:35,309
Well, you're wrong, bitch.
1065
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:37,078
Ugh. Helen!
1066
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:40,513
You got a case of
the old trench-mouth.
1067
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,512
Did you let a corpse
curl up and die in there?
1068
00:48:43,720 --> 00:48:44,840
Forget it, Michelle.
1069
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,754
- Let's just start on the next block.
- No, no, no.
1070
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:52,836
Second rule of business is when a stanky,
hummus-eating bitch
1071
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:56,515
and her yeti of a daughter
gets in your face,
1072
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:58,193
you gotta regulate.
1073
00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:01,836
Hannah, give me some space.
1074
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:08,200
Oh.
1075
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,032
How'd that taste?
Nice.
1076
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:15,879
Chomp on that!
1077
00:49:21,720 --> 00:49:23,472
Let's get 'em!
1078
00:49:41,240 --> 00:49:44,152
They're animals!
They're animals!
1079
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:54,919
Rachel's not done!
1080
00:49:55,240 --> 00:49:57,196
Rachel's thirsty for more!
1081
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:05,235
Yeah!
1082
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,556
Hey, Chrystal!
I'm coming for you!
1083
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:10,228
Bring it on!
1084
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,910
Oh, no, you don't!
You're not going anywhere!
1085
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,256
Do you understand me?
Dandelions never leave a street fight!
1086
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:25,554
God damn it, Helen!
1087
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:26,868
We're gonna wipe the floor!
1088
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,439
Sandy, why?
1089
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:33,431
'Cause I'm the leader, dang it!
1090
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:34,993
- You're a traitor!
- No.
1091
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,519
Move! That bitch is mine!
1092
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:39,715
Wait. No!
1093
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:43,190
Hey, time to put the cookies
back in the cookie jar, Helen!
1094
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,589
Ooh. I warned you, Helen!
I warned you!
1095
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,472
Those clusters
are scratching me!
1096
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,630
Good! Darlings!
1097
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:51,275
Let's go!
1098
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:53,788
Stay down!
1099
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:55,518
Don't tell your mom.
Okay.
1100
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:57,631
This was great.
1101
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:05,520
Ooh!
1102
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:07,278
That batch is burnt!
1103
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:10,509
Bye.
1104
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:14,513
One of 'em's in me.
1105
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:19,835
Hi, is there a Claire here?
1106
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:21,228
Is Claire...
1107
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:25,318
Hi! Where is Claire?
1108
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:27,868
Section 509,
but return on investment...
1109
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:28,960
Ugh, ugh.
1110
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:30,674
Oh.
1111
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,936
Look at you, in the middle of everything...
I'll call you back.
1112
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:33,960
In a bullpen.
1113
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:35,155
What are you doing here?
1114
00:51:35,720 --> 00:51:37,995
We're out of brownies.
We need you to make more.
1115
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:39,713
Well, I'm at work!
1116
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,760
Uh, hi, there!
Hey! You're Michelle Darnell.
1117
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,713
Of course I am.
Yes, you are.
1118
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:46,711
Mike, this is Michelle.
Michelle, Mike.
1119
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:49,200
Ah...
1120
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:51,033
"Mike" Mike.
1121
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:53,395
Oh. Rejected Mike.
1122
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,198
The rejected Mike?
Don't...
1123
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:58,317
You know, he is kind of cute.
I think you should toss him a pity date.
1124
00:51:58,400 --> 00:51:59,753
I don't need the pity,
1125
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:01,956
but I will take the date
if that's out there.
1126
00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:03,109
If that's an option.
1127
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:05,589
Pity's all you've got.
Pity's your best friend.
1128
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:07,552
Okay. Good to know.
Okay.
1129
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:09,496
Just stop talking to him, okay?
Leave him alone.
1130
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:11,033
What is going on here?
1131
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:13,590
Oh, my...
Greatest. Okay.
1132
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:15,792
You are Michelle Darnell.
1133
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:17,074
Guilty as charged.
1134
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:20,158
Oh, wow. I have
two personal heroes in my life,
1135
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:22,396
and I am staring at
one of them right now.
1136
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,955
Oh, no. No touching.
No.
1137
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:27,276
Curious to know
who the other one is.
1138
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,669
It's Benedict Cumberbatch,
and you.
1139
00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:33,596
Huh. I did not peg you
for a "Cumbersnatch."
1140
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:35,592
That's me. Cumbersnatch.
1141
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:37,033
You seem like
a real Cumbersnatch.
1142
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:38,917
Well, thank you so, so much.
1143
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:40,069
You're welcome. Oh...
1144
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:42,238
Thank you.
Great encounter.
1145
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,756
It's always fun.
And I think I'm done with you.
1146
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:49,629
Absolutely.
And, madam, it was an honor.
1147
00:52:49,720 --> 00:52:51,790
Off you go!
And here I am, okay.
1148
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:54,920
Strange girl.
1149
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:57,595
Okay.
1150
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:02,154
Claire, if this company is going to work,
I need you full time.
1151
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:03,793
I can't have you here.
1152
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:06,198
Are you in or are you out?
1153
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,191
I can't just leave my job!
1154
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,316
I mean, I have to
have a steady income.
1155
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:11,753
I have Rachel to think about.
1156
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,229
No, no, no.
This is for Rachel. Okay?
1157
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:16,914
If this works out the way I
know it's going to work out,
1158
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:18,592
it's gonna set
you two up for life.
1159
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:20,336
We're already
making enough money
1160
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:22,032
to pay your rent
and all your bills,
1161
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:25,749
and I'm just about to put a very big
fish on the hook as our investor.
1162
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:26,989
This is what I do.
1163
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:28,638
Okay? You know that.
1164
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:30,998
You have to trust me.
1165
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:34,032
I do hate this job.
1166
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:36,511
I mean, it's a terrible job.
1167
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:39,316
My God. I mean,
look at him.
1168
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,274
He's slumped over, asleep.
I hope he's asleep.
1169
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:44,032
You don't want to be that guy.
1170
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:45,994
What do you say?
1171
00:53:47,720 --> 00:53:48,789
Okay.
1172
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:50,711
Yes. I'm all in.
1173
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:52,392
Dana, I quit.
1174
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:54,591
I'm gonna start my
own business, okay?
1175
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:56,830
I have my own business.
Yes, she does.
1176
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:58,757
Guys, it was lovely here.
1177
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:01,348
Not really, but I hope you all
have a wonderful day.
1178
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:03,635
Mike, would you still
like to go on that date?
1179
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:04,829
Uh, yes, I would.
1180
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:07,309
I'm free tomorrow at 7:30.
Bring your A-game.
1181
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:10,634
Tracy? Wake up! I'm out!
1182
00:54:10,720 --> 00:54:12,392
Wake it up, Tracy!
1183
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:13,515
No.
No.
1184
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:14,794
No, thank you.
I'm so...
1185
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:17,116
Ooh. No.
I'm very flattered.
1186
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:21,957
Seems like a good night for
sexual activity, Claire.
1187
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:26,317
How long has it been since
you've had sexual activity?
1188
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:31,199
Stop yelling "sexual activity."
'Cause Rachel might hear you.
1189
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:34,478
You know, you're
the one that's yelling
1190
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,238
"sexual activity"
out in the hallway.
1191
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:38,272
Just answer
the question, Claire.
1192
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:39,509
I don't know.
1193
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,352
If I had to guess,
1194
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:44,592
maybe four, five, six years?
1195
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:47,880
What? Oh, my God.
Did you take a vow?
1196
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:50,190
It's very hard to
find a good sitter.
1197
00:54:50,720 --> 00:54:52,790
Okay. We'll go
with that. I just...
1198
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:54,677
I'm gonna say,
it probably doesn't help
1199
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,479
that you're dressed like
you grocery-shop at a CVS.
1200
00:54:58,120 --> 00:54:59,120
What?
1201
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:00,553
I love this sweater.
1202
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:02,233
I don't know why you would.
1203
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:04,396
This sweater goes with everything.
It's a neutral.
1204
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,876
It doesn't go with you or your skin,
or your face.
1205
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:10,793
That sweater is the equivalent
of a sandwich board
1206
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:12,632
that just says,
"I give up."
1207
00:55:12,720 --> 00:55:15,314
And then in the back,
it says, "I never started tryin'."
1208
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:17,712
It somewhat looks like you have
1209
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:22,590
sewn together two very long,
sad tube socks and then filled each end
1210
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,958
with wet sand and rocks.
1211
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:27,439
What are you talking about?
1212
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:29,158
It just looks like
two basset hounds
1213
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:30,918
may have cried
themselves to death
1214
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:32,433
in your sweater.
1215
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:34,909
I like it.
I think this looks great.
1216
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:36,669
Can I...
1217
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:38,079
Michelle!
Well...
1218
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:39,275
You are...
I had to check.
1219
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:40,600
I didn't know what was in there.
1220
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:42,856
You're making me feel very
insecure right before my date.
1221
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:43,949
Don't!
1222
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:46,315
If your breasts
could speak right now,
1223
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:48,595
I think they'd be
saying, "Claire,
1224
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:50,876
"please don't zip me
up in your jeans."
1225
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:52,376
That is...
You're gonna zip a nipple.
1226
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:53,594
That's not what they'd say.
1227
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,591
May I adjust your strap?
1228
00:55:55,720 --> 00:55:57,676
'Cause I'm trying to help you, Claire.
1229
00:55:57,760 --> 00:55:59,736
You say, "Be more helpful."
And I'm trying to be helpful.
1230
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:00,829
You can tighten the strap.
1231
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:02,632
Okay. What...
1232
00:56:02,720 --> 00:56:04,358
Just a little,
'cause I want it...
1233
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:05,634
What is that toggle?
1234
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:07,919
Oh, it's a nursing bra.
1235
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:10,755
Oh, my God.
Are you still nursing Rachel?
1236
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:14,230
No, it's from when she was a baby.
But it's very comfortable.
1237
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,431
That's not comfortable to see.
1238
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:17,913
Now, let me see this.
1239
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,468
It's very often a fit issue.
1240
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:22,348
Why do these have so much pull?
1241
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:23,714
All right, well...
1242
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:26,553
Claire! It's
like Geppetto!
1243
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:28,870
Look at that. Look at this.
It's like, "Horses, horses."
1244
00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:30,040
It's like I'm...
Oh, my God.
1245
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:31,712
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!
1246
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:33,392
It feels good.
I need to be comfortable.
1247
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:35,391
It doesn't feel good to my eyes.
1248
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:37,176
Can I just put 'em
where they're supposed to be?
1249
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,395
And I want you to be able
to see the difference.
1250
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:42,711
You got "Happy girl",
and then, uh-oh.
1251
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:44,155
They just drop out.
1252
00:56:44,720 --> 00:56:46,950
And I should not be
able to separate...
1253
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:48,176
Okay. All right.
They're heavier, but...
1254
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:50,296
So how do you like it when I just
get in there and bang around?
1255
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:51,833
I love it.
Why is there not...
1256
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:53,189
Oh, there's no give.
1257
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:55,475
Look at that.
I can't even feel that.
1258
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:56,629
That's when you know...
1259
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:01,550
I don't feel it, okay?
100% silicone.
1260
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:04,473
And not the kind that's supposed
to ever be inside the body.
1261
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:06,192
I know. They're fantastic.
1262
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:07,349
That's something else.
1263
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:08,475
Might feel that.
1264
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:09,709
That's my nipple.
1265
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:12,576
Yeah, they're up here,
where they should be. Oh, my God.
1266
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:14,079
No, see, you need
to bring 'em down.
1267
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:15,758
No! They can't,
anyway, no.
1268
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:17,976
That's what you need to do.
They're too high, Michelle.
1269
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:19,319
There's a structure. Stop.
No.
1270
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:20,515
If we were...
You need to...
1271
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:22,496
Look, just take 'em a little bit lower.
Oh, my God.
1272
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:23,736
How about that?
I paid a fortune for these.
1273
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:25,016
No, I'm gonna bring 'em...
I'm keepin' 'em up!
1274
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:26,096
Just gonna push 'em right down.
1275
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:27,176
I'm trying to help you not...
1276
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:28,758
What're you guys doing?
1277
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:30,234
Hey, there!
1278
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:33,551
We're just... There was a...
Probably a...
1279
00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:34,709
I was...
Bugs.
1280
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:38,839
We were jostling
each other's bosoms like...
1281
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:40,189
Gals do.
1282
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:41,793
No, we weren't.
1283
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:44,872
I was just trying to help your mom
here get ready for her big date.
1284
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,468
I'm a little nervous.
She's a little bit nervous.
1285
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,393
Always gotta stretch your
boobs when you're nervous.
1286
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:52,680
You should change.
1287
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,190
That's your
TV-watching sweater.
1288
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:56,994
Thank you.
1289
00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:59,796
Okay. Thank you for that.
1290
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:01,598
Okay, well, we're
gonna leave you to it.
1291
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:03,136
You can treat yourself
to a little underwire
1292
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:05,296
and something that doesn't
look like you sell ceramics.
1293
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,276
Let's go watch a movie.
I'm babysitting.
1294
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:09,396
Have you seen Texas
Chainsaw Massacre? No.
1295
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:11,238
I'm kidding!
I'm not kidding.
1296
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:25,234
Hi.
1297
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:28,631
Hi. Oh, my God.
You look gorgeous.
1298
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,836
I'm wearing a bra,
a new bra. It's not new.
1299
00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:32,831
It's old. I just haven't
worn it in a while.
1300
00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:35,912
Hey, you know what,
I went with an old bra tonight, too, so...
1301
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:37,949
Let's get a table.
1302
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:39,229
Absolutely.
1303
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:44,070
I wanted to tell you earlier actually,
on a serious note.
1304
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:47,075
When you walked out the
other day from work,
1305
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:48,991
quite dramatically, I might add,
1306
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:50,433
six other people quit.
1307
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:52,677
What?
Mmm-hmm. They just walked out.
1308
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:54,478
Oh, my God.
I know, right?
1309
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:55,794
I started a chain reaction.
1310
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:57,200
You started
a huge chain reaction.
1311
00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:58,434
Six people walked out
1312
00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:00,136
and then immediately three
people walked back inside.
1313
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:01,480
I think they were
outside smoking.
1314
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:03,318
But it was like you
were a cult leader.
1315
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:05,040
It was like a tremendous
show of support.
1316
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:07,634
It was, like, very inspiring.
1317
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,031
Really?
Yeah, really.
1318
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:11,833
Do you find that
hard to believe?
1319
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:14,679
That I'm tremendously inspiring?
Yeah.
1320
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:16,193
Yeah, a bit.
Really?
1321
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:17,878
Well, let me tell
you something, lady.
1322
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,315
You are more than
a little inspiring.
1323
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,070
I have been talking
ad nauseam here.
1324
00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:27,395
Can you, uh, grab
the mic for a sec?
1325
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:30,277
Well, I, um...
1326
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:32,999
I got knocked up in
grad school by my TA.
1327
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:34,336
When he found
out I was pregnant,
1328
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:36,080
he pretended like we
didn't know each other.
1329
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:37,957
What?
Then gave me a "D."
1330
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:39,393
What?
Yeah, nice surprise.
1331
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:40,515
Yeah.
1332
00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:42,397
But I got a great kid out of it.
1333
00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:43,909
I bet you're a great mom.
1334
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:45,189
I try.
1335
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,976
I mean, unless she is currently
unsupervised. Then you're a horrible mom.
1336
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:49,752
No, she's with Michelle.
1337
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:51,432
She's with Michelle?
Yes.
1338
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:53,112
She's your felon babysitter.
1339
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:56,349
Oh! Oh, my God!
1340
00:59:56,440 --> 00:59:58,510
Rachel, it's the goriest part!
1341
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:00,795
It's the goriest part.
You're missing it!
1342
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:04,190
Oh, my God.
He's killing her with a chainsaw.
1343
01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:05,395
Oh.
1344
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:07,910
I have a felon
watching my child.
1345
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:09,256
That just occurred
to you, didn't it?
1346
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:10,508
Yes, it did.
Yeah.
1347
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:12,640
It's good thing I'm here.
Let's have some more wine.
1348
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,070
Absolutely, yeah.
Hey, excuse me.
1349
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,193
Hi. Do you think maybe we could get
two more glasses of the...
1350
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,513
No. Hold on.
1351
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:23,276
Bring us a bottle of
whatever the lady would like
1352
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:26,113
in the twenty-five to
twenty-eight dollar range.
1353
01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:29,480
Sure, I'll send somebody to Walgreens
to get you something nice.
1354
01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:31,949
Cool. You guys do that?
What's with that?
1355
01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:33,314
Oh, my God!
1356
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:36,191
Is that like a really
cheap bottle of wine?
1357
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:42,193
You got a lot of balls
showing up here, Darnell.
1358
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:46,111
Listen, Ida, I know you're still mad at me,
and I don't blame you.
1359
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:48,200
I shouldn't have cut you
out of that Emerson deal.
1360
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:50,157
But if it makes it any better,
1361
01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:52,470
I made a blinding amount
of money on that deal.
1362
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:58,434
You know the first time I saw you?
Twenty-three years old.
1363
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:00,511
Yeah.
I knew right away,
1364
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:02,791
you were a tough,
money-hungry,
1365
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:05,872
self-serving,
see-you-next-Tuesday gal
1366
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:07,313
just like me.
1367
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:11,598
And that's why I decided to mentor you.
Just let you get too close.
1368
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:14,709
I started to think
of you as family.
1369
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:18,749
Well, families are
for suckers, right?
1370
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:20,754
That's for sure.
1371
01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:23,671
What do you want, Michelle?
1372
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:25,352
I need an investor.
1373
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,717
Oh, for your little
brownie venture?
1374
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,317
How do you even know about that?
1375
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:33,956
Because I'm Ida Marquette.
I know everything.
1376
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:35,600
Here.
1377
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:37,954
Come on, Ida.
1378
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:40,256
I'm sure you got quite an overhead
on this glue factory here.
1379
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:42,430
Do you want in or not?
You know,
1380
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:46,350
I once made love on a pool table
1381
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:48,431
in Hot Coffee, Mississippi
1382
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:51,433
with six members of the
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
1383
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:53,909
Are you stroking out?
1384
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:55,274
What does this have to do with
1385
01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:57,316
what we're talking
about right now?
1386
01:01:57,520 --> 01:02:00,717
The point is, Darnell,
I have very few regrets in my life.
1387
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:04,597
But you...
You were my best protégée.
1388
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:06,680
Tell you what.
1389
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:10,878
I'll back you, if this checks out.
Just for old times' sake.
1390
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:12,195
Okay.
1391
01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:13,793
If you'll excuse me, Shawshank,
1392
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:16,191
I'm late for my morning ride.
1393
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:17,429
Yes!
1394
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:19,549
Okay.
1395
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:21,312
You better make me
a shitload of money.
1396
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:22,879
Away, Butters!
1397
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:30,398
Come on!
Eat up, ladies.
1398
01:02:30,480 --> 01:02:31,879
This is a celebratory dinner.
1399
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:33,598
We got our investor.
1400
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:35,398
Okay. Here we go.
1401
01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:38,834
Hoo-hoo-hoo.
1402
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:40,029
Look at this!
1403
01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:41,509
What is this?
1404
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:44,672
Well, I feel it's time you
become more adventurous.
1405
01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:51,192
Thank God! Pizza!
1406
01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:53,192
I know you don't like sushi.
1407
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:55,157
Thank you, Michelle!
I'm starving.
1408
01:02:55,560 --> 01:02:57,551
And fugu for the lady.
1409
01:02:57,960 --> 01:02:59,951
Thank you, Ping.
Fugu?
1410
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:04,714
The infamous pufferfish.
1411
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:08,913
When prepared incorrectly,
it can lead to paralysis or even death.
1412
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:10,256
But when it is
prepared correctly,
1413
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:13,238
it is like a volcano
erupting in my mouth.
1414
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:14,912
Let's hope for the second.
1415
01:03:19,880 --> 01:03:22,110
Oh, this is nice.
Get in here, guys.
1416
01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:23,599
I don't wanna hog it all.
1417
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:26,475
Michelle, are you all right?
1418
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:31,794
When it's this perfect,
it takes you to the brink of paralysis.
1419
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:34,713
And then, at the last minute,
it just lets you go.
1420
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:37,356
Three, two...
1421
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:39,195
Uh-oh.
1422
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:43,434
Michelle?
1423
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:53,474
Whoo.
That's a very risky dish.
1424
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:55,431
Oh, God.
How long was I out?
1425
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:57,118
Are you serious?
Like 10 seconds.
1426
01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:58,635
Yeah.
1427
01:03:59,040 --> 01:04:00,519
It's a personal best.
1428
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:02,239
I was thinking
about having more.
1429
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:04,416
All right,
I think everybody's done with the fugu.
1430
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:06,510
I'm gonna tea it out, just for a second.
Yeah.
1431
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:07,953
I made you something.
1432
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:09,075
What?
1433
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:11,549
I mean, I thought I
should give it to you now
1434
01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:15,428
'cause you keep eating
things that almost kill you.
1435
01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:18,912
I made the frame at school.
1436
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:27,796
It's a nice frame, Rachel.
You did a good job.
1437
01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:29,189
Thanks.
1438
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:33,159
When I look at the picture,
I just think we're like a weird family.
1439
01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:37,955
Okay. Ah.
1440
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:42,276
Family? That's
a little heavy-handed.
1441
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:46,073
I think, you know,
I'm not much into labeling.
1442
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:48,796
You say "family",
and we don't look alike.
1443
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:52,509
I mean, I'm not even sure
that you two look alike.
1444
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:55,512
We'll have to do a blood
test on you for that.
1445
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:59,872
You know, it's funny, looking at this,
I think what day is this?
1446
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:04,118
'Cause I'm pretty
sure I have a...
1447
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,478
I have a previously
scheduled thing.
1448
01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:09,471
I don't know what
I was... You know.
1449
01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:12,160
Do what you do.
I'm gonna do what I do.
1450
01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:13,679
I'll take care of the check.
1451
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:16,120
I just...
1452
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:20,108
What was that about?
1453
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:24,557
I don't know,
sweetie. I don't know.
1454
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:34,432
Hi! Sorry, baby.
Michelle was supposed to pick you up.
1455
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:38,399
I know. I texted her
like 500,000 times.
1456
01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:49,233
All of her stuff is gone.
1457
01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:59,035
"Thank you for letting me stay
in your home. Sincerely, MD.
1458
01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:01,475
"P.S. I won't
miss your couch."
1459
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:02,953
That's impersonal.
1460
01:06:03,680 --> 01:06:04,874
A bit.
1461
01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:07,755
I shouldn't have given
her that picture of us.
1462
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:09,671
Sweetie, she loved your picture.
1463
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:14,231
No, come on. She left because
it was her time to leave.
1464
01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:16,231
Michelle is a redhead
and a Scorpio.
1465
01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:18,629
It's a very impulsive combo.
1466
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:24,558
These little bites of goodness
are puttin' kids in college...
1467
01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:25,640
Yes.
1468
01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:28,314
...are giving young women in
this country a business plan
1469
01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:30,834
and the thought in their head of like,
"Yes, I can."
1470
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:32,035
Is she picking up?
1471
01:06:32,120 --> 01:06:36,591
And if you buy four sets, you get
this adorable wagon.
1472
01:06:36,720 --> 01:06:38,950
No. It's her voicemail.
1473
01:06:48,040 --> 01:06:50,952
I got 'em! I got 'em!
1474
01:07:01,720 --> 01:07:03,119
These are going to be huge.
1475
01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:11,435
How does she
do it? I want in.
1476
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:13,149
More milk.
1477
01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:15,959
No, I'm feeling reckless.
I want to do it myself this time.
1478
01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:20,200
Ah.
1479
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:21,508
Good job.
1480
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:26,193
It's just, a little common
courtesy would be nice, you know?
1481
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:27,793
If she ever returned my calls,
1482
01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:30,440
I would know about these press
days in the middle of nowhere.
1483
01:07:30,520 --> 01:07:31,589
Mom, look!
1484
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:34,352
Congratulations, Claire.
1485
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:39,956
Honey, why don't you,
um, go on inside,
1486
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:42,150
just look both ways
before you cross, okay?
1487
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:43,240
Okay.
1488
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:47,199
What're you doing here?
1489
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:51,878
Looks like you and Michelle have built
yourself quite a little empire.
1490
01:07:53,640 --> 01:07:54,640
What do you want?
1491
01:07:54,720 --> 01:07:58,156
I want to take what
Michelle Darnell has built.
1492
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:00,834
I want her to realize
that I have taken it away.
1493
01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:04,469
And when she realizes it, when that
moment of realization crosses her face,
1494
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,600
and she realizes that I
have realized it as well...
1495
01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:07,656
I've lost my train of thought.
1496
01:08:07,680 --> 01:08:08,715
Yeah, I'm not following.
1497
01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:10,358
I want the fucking
company, Claire.
1498
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:13,256
It's only a matter of time
1499
01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:15,430
before Michelle Darnell
screws you over.
1500
01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:16,640
So get in there.
1501
01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:18,671
I see you eyein' those brownies.
1502
01:08:18,760 --> 01:08:20,000
Let's have some bites.
Go ahead.
1503
01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:21,120
They're not gonna bite you.
1504
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:22,553
You're gonna bite them.
1505
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:23,834
Let's get a shot of those.
1506
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:41,031
Huh, pretty good stuff, right?
1507
01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:49,189
Oh, my God.
1508
01:08:49,280 --> 01:08:50,554
Oh, amazing!
1509
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,679
This is Chrystal.
It's one of the Darnell originals.
1510
01:08:53,760 --> 01:08:55,432
She's a giant. Huh?
1511
01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:57,351
I mean, I'm not a doctor,
but I have eyes.
1512
01:08:57,440 --> 01:08:59,271
Isn't that fun?
Come on with me.
1513
01:08:59,360 --> 01:09:01,237
I got a surprise
for all of you guys...
1514
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:03,237
I think you're gonna
be very excited about.
1515
01:09:03,320 --> 01:09:06,392
I'd like to present the new
Darnell Darlings' mascot!
1516
01:09:06,480 --> 01:09:07,515
Hit it!
1517
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:11,075
Take some
snaps of this. I know you want to.
1518
01:09:11,160 --> 01:09:12,434
It's a phoenix.
1519
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:13,520
Michelle.
1520
01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:15,357
You get in there.
I know you're not shy.
1521
01:09:15,440 --> 01:09:16,475
What is this?
1522
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:19,835
It's a phoenix, Claire.
It's my totem animal.
1523
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:24,118
Okay. So you leased a commercial
kitchen without telling me?
1524
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:26,839
Yes. I'm kind of waiting for a,
"Thank you, Michelle!"
1525
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:29,150
Wow, um. I'm having a hard time
with the "thank you"
1526
01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:32,915
because you also hired all of these
people without consulting me.
1527
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:36,231
I do know that you've been
complaining pretty consistently
1528
01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:38,754
about having to do all the baking
and doing it at your house.
1529
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:39,875
I fixed all that for ya.
1530
01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:41,120
And you're more mad than ever.
1531
01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:42,536
I don't get it, Claire.
You didn't...
1532
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:45,074
Michelle, you didn't consult
me on any of this, okay?
1533
01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:46,428
I see a bunch of press.
1534
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:48,954
One of us, not you,
got the press here.
1535
01:09:49,080 --> 01:09:50,080
Right. Okay.
1536
01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:51,599
Well, maybe they
should know that
1537
01:09:51,720 --> 01:09:53,199
the new and
improved Michelle Darnell
1538
01:09:53,280 --> 01:09:56,397
is just as self-centered and egotistical
as the old Michelle Darnell.
1539
01:09:56,520 --> 01:09:58,351
Really? Do you wanna do this?
Sure!
1540
01:09:58,480 --> 01:09:59,736
'Cause I would love to do this.
Great.
1541
01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:00,795
You follow me.
1542
01:10:00,880 --> 01:10:02,438
I will follow you,
from the front.
1543
01:10:02,480 --> 01:10:04,596
No, not from the front.
From the back! Yes!
1544
01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:06,917
Don't put your
arm in front of me!
1545
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:08,228
You can't tell me what to do!
1546
01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:09,958
You're not my boss anymore!
1547
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:11,712
We are partners, 50-50,
1548
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:13,791
and you can't make decisions
without telling me!
1549
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:15,877
We are not partners, Claire!
1550
01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:17,279
I am a successful businesswoman.
1551
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:20,676
You are a lonely woman who can
make a halfway decent brownie!
1552
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:22,751
And we all have our little secrets,
Claire. Right?
1553
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:25,593
You double-crossing,
hand-holding, sneaky little rat!
1554
01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:26,874
What are you talking about?
1555
01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:28,552
God, I can't believe
I helped you!
1556
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:30,835
I took you in
off the street, okay?
1557
01:10:30,920 --> 01:10:32,148
When no one else would.
1558
01:10:32,240 --> 01:10:34,037
You are such a cliché.
1559
01:10:34,120 --> 01:10:35,520
Okay? You're
getting close to people
1560
01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:37,113
so now you have
to push them away.
1561
01:10:37,200 --> 01:10:39,395
Okay, don't analyze
me, Dr. Phil!
1562
01:10:39,480 --> 01:10:41,198
Why're you guys doing this?
1563
01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:43,536
Rachel, you know what,
just go inside, honey.
1564
01:10:43,560 --> 01:10:46,233
No! No! You do not tell
my daughter what to do.
1565
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:48,240
And you know what?
Don't ever speak to her again.
1566
01:10:48,280 --> 01:10:50,077
Mom, why would you say that?
1567
01:10:52,160 --> 01:10:56,995
It's fine, Rachel, just...
Girls, go inside! Now!
1568
01:10:59,080 --> 01:11:00,752
You know what?
I don't need this.
1569
01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:02,114
I don't need that.
1570
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:03,680
I don't need any of it.
1571
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:06,389
Let's see how far your
brownie recipe takes you.
1572
01:11:07,280 --> 01:11:09,794
I'm cutting you
loose and sailin' off!
1573
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:11,991
I don't need you two
weighing me down!
1574
01:11:13,360 --> 01:11:14,509
Rachel!
1575
01:11:14,640 --> 01:11:15,640
Rachel?
1576
01:11:32,520 --> 01:11:35,273
You're the only one that's
gonna take care of you.
1577
01:11:35,720 --> 01:11:36,789
The only one.
1578
01:11:39,040 --> 01:11:40,996
Excuse me,
you can't just go in there!
1579
01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:42,195
Watch me.
1580
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:44,439
Hi, Ronald!
1581
01:11:44,760 --> 01:11:47,354
Ooh, I like your new bitches.
1582
01:11:47,440 --> 01:11:49,476
I saw you sniffing
around my bakery.
1583
01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:51,676
You looking to get into
the brownie business?
1584
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:54,479
Why? Are you looking
to sell your business?
1585
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:55,560
Why not?
1586
01:11:56,040 --> 01:11:59,316
I have no personal stakes in it.
It's just business to me.
1587
01:11:59,400 --> 01:12:01,516
And you've always liked
collecting my things.
1588
01:12:09,840 --> 01:12:12,308
Okay. And since this one's
coconut macadamia,
1589
01:12:12,400 --> 01:12:14,336
if you have a nut allergy,
I don't want you anywhere near...
1590
01:12:14,360 --> 01:12:15,839
When's Michelle coming back?
1591
01:12:15,920 --> 01:12:17,148
I don't know, Chrystal.
1592
01:12:17,240 --> 01:12:18,514
She's like our leader.
1593
01:12:18,600 --> 01:12:20,318
My mom's gonna run this place.
1594
01:12:20,440 --> 01:12:22,795
Yes, I will be
running the business
1595
01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:26,039
until Michelle comes back, or...
1596
01:12:26,120 --> 01:12:28,076
Knock, knock.
Hi, it's Stephan!
1597
01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:33,077
Hi! I have a message from the new
owner of Darnell's Darlings,
1598
01:12:33,240 --> 01:12:34,593
Mr. Renault.
1599
01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:36,320
Uh, sorry, I think
there's a mistake.
1600
01:12:36,360 --> 01:12:37,873
I'm one of the owners here.
1601
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:40,516
This is an eviction notice.
1602
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:44,868
She sold us out?
1603
01:12:45,720 --> 01:12:46,948
How could she do that?
1604
01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:48,439
Oh, she just did it.
1605
01:12:48,520 --> 01:12:50,033
Okay, let's kick this guy's ass!
1606
01:12:50,120 --> 01:12:51,189
Hey, shit brains!
1607
01:12:51,280 --> 01:12:52,349
Chrystal!
1608
01:12:52,440 --> 01:12:53,873
Protect me. Protect me.
1609
01:12:53,960 --> 01:12:56,190
This is not cowardice.
She's very tall!
1610
01:12:59,960 --> 01:13:02,110
Really wish you'd
let me kick his ass.
1611
01:13:13,760 --> 01:13:16,991
You know what?
It was a good business decision.
1612
01:13:18,080 --> 01:13:21,117
Don't start feelin'
bad about good...
1613
01:13:23,800 --> 01:13:25,313
Good decisions.
1614
01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:29,068
Why would Michelle
do that to us?
1615
01:13:29,640 --> 01:13:31,358
I just don't get it.
1616
01:13:35,440 --> 01:13:40,355
Well, you know, sweetie,
Michelle has got a lot of baggage.
1617
01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:44,192
She's an asshole.
1618
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:46,433
Language.
1619
01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:47,520
Sorry.
1620
01:13:49,080 --> 01:13:52,550
But you're right.
She is an asshole.
1621
01:13:56,040 --> 01:13:58,600
Darnell, you are a real asshole.
1622
01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:15,394
Piece of shit.
1623
01:14:43,280 --> 01:14:47,068
After the match I told Kent,
"I'd put my family fortune
1624
01:14:47,160 --> 01:14:48,434
"up against anybody's."
1625
01:14:49,920 --> 01:14:51,751
This should really
just take a minute.
1626
01:14:51,880 --> 01:14:54,155
Normally, I wouldn't
just drop in.
1627
01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:56,549
Oh... Oh, sorry.
1628
01:14:57,080 --> 01:14:59,230
Michelle, what a surprise.
1629
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:01,436
Family, this is
Michelle Darnell.
1630
01:15:02,440 --> 01:15:03,839
She's making me
a bunch of money.
1631
01:15:06,560 --> 01:15:07,560
Why don't you join us?
1632
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:12,118
No, no, actually, I was just hoping
to talk to you for a minute.
1633
01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:14,595
Oh, of course.
1634
01:15:15,120 --> 01:15:16,155
No hurry, Mother.
1635
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,355
Okay, I got it.
1636
01:15:23,800 --> 01:15:27,634
Continue eating that delicious spring
lamb you heard screaming this morning.
1637
01:15:30,640 --> 01:15:32,949
I sold the company
to Renault last night.
1638
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:36,476
Or Ronald or whatever
name he's going by now.
1639
01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:39,154
Whoa, sweet baby Jesus.
Yeah.
1640
01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:40,912
You know, we went
to get sushi once
1641
01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:43,116
and he tried to speak
Japanese to the waitress.
1642
01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:45,839
I swear, some of the words
were Spanish.
1643
01:15:46,200 --> 01:15:47,713
But, you know,
he's gonna sell it off.
1644
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:50,596
Whew, I'm gonna make a mint.
1645
01:15:51,520 --> 01:15:53,158
Yeah, you probably will.
1646
01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:55,996
And I did it just like
you taught me.
1647
01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:59,198
I took nothing, made it
into something
1648
01:15:59,280 --> 01:16:01,714
and didn't let anybody
weigh me down,
1649
01:16:01,800 --> 01:16:03,791
and got out of there
when the money was right.
1650
01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:06,155
Perfect, kill or be killed.
1651
01:16:06,480 --> 01:16:07,879
Take that money and run.
1652
01:16:09,280 --> 01:16:11,077
You know, I kinda...
1653
01:16:11,960 --> 01:16:13,712
I think I kinda lost my friend
1654
01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:16,477
and hurt a bunch
of kids in the process.
1655
01:16:16,560 --> 01:16:19,233
Who the fuck cares?
We're gonna make a shit load.
1656
01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:21,311
We're gonna make
a million shit loads.
1657
01:16:25,160 --> 01:16:27,880
I dunno what I'm doing. I'm keeping
you from dinner with your family.
1658
01:16:27,920 --> 01:16:29,831
Come on, that's not my family.
1659
01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:34,755
Those are actors. I hire actors every
once in a while to play my family.
1660
01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:36,319
My family is bonkers.
1661
01:16:36,560 --> 01:16:37,913
All I want is money.
1662
01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:40,150
Money, money, money.
Ida "Money" Marquette.
1663
01:16:40,560 --> 01:16:43,313
Grandpa Joe... Joe.
1664
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:44,800
Psst, Joe!
1665
01:16:45,160 --> 01:16:46,275
You have a fake family.
1666
01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:49,840
I've been taking advice
from you for 20 years.
1667
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:54,391
And you hire and spend
the night with a fake family.
1668
01:16:54,680 --> 01:16:56,511
I try to get better
actors, but I just...
1669
01:16:56,600 --> 01:16:59,478
Bennett is unresponsive.
The actor who plays Grandpa Joe.
1670
01:16:59,760 --> 01:17:01,398
He's always playing possum.
1671
01:17:01,480 --> 01:17:03,550
This man needs
medical attention, stat!
1672
01:17:04,160 --> 01:17:06,355
Is that a line
from one of your soaps?
1673
01:17:08,640 --> 01:17:09,640
Yes.
1674
01:17:11,280 --> 01:17:14,158
Joe? Oh, crap.
1675
01:17:14,320 --> 01:17:15,320
Joe!
1676
01:17:15,800 --> 01:17:17,199
He's not getting paid for this.
1677
01:17:17,600 --> 01:17:18,794
Holy shit.
1678
01:17:19,120 --> 01:17:20,120
Joe!
1679
01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:27,816
I know what I'm gonna do.
1680
01:17:27,840 --> 01:17:29,717
I'm gonna sue the pants off her.
Oh...
1681
01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:32,519
No, I'm not because she'll
throw too many lawyers at me
1682
01:17:32,600 --> 01:17:34,670
and she's a shark in court.
1683
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:37,035
Yeah. This is a test.
1684
01:17:37,360 --> 01:17:39,316
You want me to kill her
with this bagel knife.
1685
01:17:39,400 --> 01:17:40,674
And I'll do it.
1686
01:17:40,800 --> 01:17:43,234
To pledge my allegiance to you,
milady, I'll do it.
1687
01:17:43,320 --> 01:17:44,833
No. Thank you.
1688
01:17:46,080 --> 01:17:47,433
Ooh, you guys are kissing.
1689
01:17:47,920 --> 01:17:50,229
Heya, Rachel! Hi. How are you?
Hi.
1690
01:17:50,320 --> 01:17:52,311
- Did you sleep over?
- Oh, God, no.
1691
01:17:52,480 --> 01:17:53,913
What, have
a sleepover here? Ew.
1692
01:17:53,960 --> 01:17:56,176
No, he didn't. Yuck!
No, that would be terrible.
1693
01:17:56,200 --> 01:17:57,235
I don't know about "yuck".
1694
01:17:57,400 --> 01:17:58,496
I don't mean "yuck."
I meant...
1695
01:17:58,520 --> 01:18:00,320
- Don't know if it'll...
- I mean...
1696
01:18:00,360 --> 01:18:02,157
It could be nice.
Might be nice.
1697
01:18:02,320 --> 01:18:04,416
It's nice for people to spend the night.
We don't know yet.
1698
01:18:04,440 --> 01:18:06,317
We don't know yet.
We don't know yet.
1699
01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:09,155
Would you please grab
some more garbage bags?
1700
01:18:09,240 --> 01:18:10,719
We have a lot of trash.
1701
01:18:10,800 --> 01:18:11,915
Yeah.
1702
01:18:12,160 --> 01:18:13,718
Why did I make that so weird?
1703
01:18:13,800 --> 01:18:14,949
It's fine.
Didn't have to.
1704
01:18:15,040 --> 01:18:16,680
Didn't have to
make it that weird.
1705
01:18:17,240 --> 01:18:19,515
- Holy shit!
- Language!
1706
01:18:21,080 --> 01:18:22,479
Holy shit!
1707
01:18:22,640 --> 01:18:23,868
Uh...
1708
01:18:24,480 --> 01:18:27,392
This is all seeming
probably so much
1709
01:18:27,520 --> 01:18:30,398
stranger than
what I had intended.
1710
01:18:30,480 --> 01:18:33,313
I'm sorry to
startle you, Rachel.
1711
01:18:33,400 --> 01:18:35,516
What are you doing in my closet?
1712
01:18:35,600 --> 01:18:38,114
Well, uh, to give
you the whole...
1713
01:18:38,200 --> 01:18:40,919
I thought I have a great idea
1714
01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:44,072
to surprise you with an apology,
1715
01:18:44,160 --> 01:18:46,594
and my sincere
"I'm sorry."
1716
01:18:46,680 --> 01:18:50,036
So I let myself in,
in the middle of the night.
1717
01:18:50,160 --> 01:18:52,469
So once I was actually
waiting here in the dark,
1718
01:18:52,560 --> 01:18:55,154
and you were getting up for the morning,
I thought, "Uh-oh.
1719
01:18:55,240 --> 01:18:57,834
"This could seem kind of
threatening and menacing."
1720
01:18:57,960 --> 01:18:59,632
And I panicked a little bit
1721
01:18:59,720 --> 01:19:02,678
and just darted into the closet.
1722
01:19:03,280 --> 01:19:07,353
So, surprise! I'm sorry.
1723
01:19:07,440 --> 01:19:10,910
And, dang it,
I shouldn't have sold that company.
1724
01:19:12,080 --> 01:19:13,957
I think we're done.
Okay, well...
1725
01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:17,476
You know... So thank you, I guess,
for breaking into my home.
1726
01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:18,959
I said I was sorry.
1727
01:19:19,040 --> 01:19:21,076
Great.
We heard you. Okay.
1728
01:19:21,160 --> 01:19:22,991
I apologized.
I heard you.
1729
01:19:23,400 --> 01:19:24,719
There's the door.
1730
01:19:29,240 --> 01:19:30,559
You sold us out.
1731
01:19:31,560 --> 01:19:32,675
Yeah, I did.
1732
01:19:33,080 --> 01:19:37,278
I sold you out.
And I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.
1733
01:19:37,360 --> 01:19:41,990
And I'm hoping, somehow,
you can forgive me.
1734
01:19:42,080 --> 01:19:43,718
And I just wanna
throw it out there
1735
01:19:43,840 --> 01:19:47,150
that I have completely
forgiven you, Claire,
1736
01:19:47,240 --> 01:19:50,994
for trying to sell me out
first with Renault so...
1737
01:19:51,760 --> 01:19:53,716
What are you talking about?
1738
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:54,835
I saw you.
1739
01:19:55,320 --> 01:19:59,154
Okay? I saw you and Ronald
outside the bakery.
1740
01:19:59,240 --> 01:20:00,593
He was smelling your hand
1741
01:20:00,640 --> 01:20:03,029
and I know what that means, okay?
1742
01:20:03,160 --> 01:20:06,197
I mean, he has smelled
many of my parts,
1743
01:20:07,080 --> 01:20:10,550
and I have smelled
many of his parts.
1744
01:20:10,920 --> 01:20:13,753
I was telling Renault
that I'm not willing
1745
01:20:13,920 --> 01:20:16,718
to sell him a single,
solitary brownie,
1746
01:20:16,800 --> 01:20:18,756
let alone my entire company.
1747
01:20:20,920 --> 01:20:22,876
That's a mix-up, huh?
1748
01:20:23,160 --> 01:20:27,756
Michelle, I would never in a million
years do that to you, okay?
1749
01:20:27,840 --> 01:20:30,912
You know... I mean, God.
What goes on in your brain?
1750
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:32,115
I don't know.
1751
01:20:32,440 --> 01:20:35,830
I mean, I don't have a lot of,
1752
01:20:37,440 --> 01:20:41,831
you know, experience
or a reference point for...
1753
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:45,037
I didn't have a family,
or a mom, or a dad.
1754
01:20:45,120 --> 01:20:49,352
And I totally get it
if you never talk to me again.
1755
01:20:49,760 --> 01:20:52,479
So I don't want you
to feel bad about that.
1756
01:20:52,560 --> 01:20:55,632
I just wanted you to know that I
think you're very nice people.
1757
01:20:56,160 --> 01:20:58,310
Great people, actually.
1758
01:20:58,400 --> 01:21:02,393
You're the closest thing
to a family I've ever had.
1759
01:21:02,480 --> 01:21:07,270
And I'm real sorry
I screwed that up.
1760
01:21:09,840 --> 01:21:11,592
I'm gonna miss you, Michelle.
1761
01:21:13,880 --> 01:21:14,880
Should I go?
1762
01:21:16,160 --> 01:21:18,390
I think I should go.
1763
01:21:18,480 --> 01:21:19,816
Oh, my God.
It's an awkward time for me
1764
01:21:19,840 --> 01:21:21,576
to just be, like, creeping
around in the background.
1765
01:21:21,600 --> 01:21:23,477
I had no idea you
were still here.
1766
01:21:23,600 --> 01:21:25,256
Should I go, or should I...
No, you're fine.
1767
01:21:25,280 --> 01:21:26,713
I do not like what you did.
1768
01:21:27,440 --> 01:21:31,274
I do not like it!
And I do not like it.
1769
01:21:31,880 --> 01:21:34,030
She really
doesn't like it, guys.
1770
01:21:35,920 --> 01:21:36,920
You know, I...
1771
01:21:37,640 --> 01:21:42,191
If anyone's curious,
I do think I know how to fix this.
1772
01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:45,953
I signed that contract with
Renault late Friday night.
1773
01:21:46,040 --> 01:21:49,032
I wanna remind you I was wounded,
I was a little tipsy.
1774
01:21:49,120 --> 01:21:50,678
Oh, God.
Okay.
1775
01:21:51,160 --> 01:21:54,391
And it's Sunday.
No one will be in his offices.
1776
01:21:54,480 --> 01:21:56,869
Plus, he can't file for a
corporate change of ownership
1777
01:21:56,960 --> 01:21:58,837
until tomorrow morning.
1778
01:21:59,080 --> 01:22:00,274
I can get in there tonight,
1779
01:22:00,360 --> 01:22:03,477
I can get that contract,
and I can take our company back.
1780
01:22:03,720 --> 01:22:05,216
Wait, what do you
mean "get the contract"?
1781
01:22:05,240 --> 01:22:07,595
He must have scanned and emailed
it a hundred times by now.
1782
01:22:07,680 --> 01:22:10,319
No, no, no. Anybody else,
yes, but not him.
1783
01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:13,597
Ronald is completely paranoid
about being hacked. Okay?
1784
01:22:13,680 --> 01:22:18,196
He has no cell phones, no emails.
He leaves no digital trail.
1785
01:22:18,280 --> 01:22:20,555
Claire knows this.
He's all old-school pen and paper.
1786
01:22:20,640 --> 01:22:22,039
It's the samurai way.
1787
01:22:22,520 --> 01:22:25,318
Okay, I'm in.
Let's do this. I'm in.
1788
01:22:25,400 --> 01:22:26,628
Why would you be in?
1789
01:22:26,720 --> 01:22:28,216
What do you mean
why would I be in?
1790
01:22:28,240 --> 01:22:29,296
You've been talking
all morning about
1791
01:22:29,320 --> 01:22:31,072
how you wanted to
get your company back.
1792
01:22:31,160 --> 01:22:33,913
And you guys are gonna need help,
and I'm a helpful guy.
1793
01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:35,319
How's that for a reason?
1794
01:22:35,880 --> 01:22:37,240
You're gonna get
rewarded for that.
1795
01:22:37,280 --> 01:22:39,396
Well, that's not why I did it.
1796
01:22:39,880 --> 01:22:41,916
- I'm in, too.
- No, Claire.
1797
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:44,070
This is my fault
and I'm gonna fix it.
1798
01:22:44,160 --> 01:22:45,991
Michelle, this is my decision.
1799
01:22:46,080 --> 01:22:47,513
And I want our company back.
1800
01:22:47,600 --> 01:22:49,079
Yes, Claire.
1801
01:22:49,160 --> 01:22:51,037
All right, let's
fuck this shit up.
1802
01:22:51,120 --> 01:22:53,270
Language.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
1803
01:22:54,040 --> 01:22:55,553
I need to get a sitter.
1804
01:22:56,240 --> 01:22:57,468
Yeah, you do.
1805
01:22:59,560 --> 01:23:02,080
As soon as we get out I
want you to grab the gasoline,
1806
01:23:02,120 --> 01:23:03,473
some rags, and torch the van.
1807
01:23:03,560 --> 01:23:04,696
What are you talking about?
1808
01:23:04,720 --> 01:23:06,216
I rented the van.
It's on my credit card.
1809
01:23:06,240 --> 01:23:07,468
You go down, you go down alone.
1810
01:23:07,560 --> 01:23:09,198
How would we even get home?
1811
01:23:09,280 --> 01:23:11,077
That's a good point.
MVP, Claire.
1812
01:23:11,160 --> 01:23:14,596
Uh-oh. There's no door handle back here.
There's absolutely... Oh.
1813
01:23:15,000 --> 01:23:16,638
Thank you, Claire.
1814
01:23:17,200 --> 01:23:19,350
Okay. I still don't
think you should be here.
1815
01:23:19,440 --> 01:23:20,440
But if we get caught,
1816
01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:22,896
I want you to tell the police
that I forced you here by gun.
1817
01:23:22,920 --> 01:23:24,096
You gotta watch out for Rachel.
1818
01:23:24,120 --> 01:23:25,997
Okay. You don't have
a gun, though, right?
1819
01:23:26,080 --> 01:23:27,911
What am I, a thug?
Okay.
1820
01:23:28,000 --> 01:23:30,594
I'm such a badass!
This is gonna be amazing!
1821
01:23:30,680 --> 01:23:32,955
Also, by the way, guys,
I was googling jail sentences.
1822
01:23:33,040 --> 01:23:35,270
Since none of us are actually armed,
minimal jail time.
1823
01:23:37,760 --> 01:23:39,876
Oops. Just excuse me
for one minute.
1824
01:23:39,960 --> 01:23:42,269
Michelle!
Well, it's a collector's item.
1825
01:23:42,960 --> 01:23:43,960
Ditch it.
1826
01:23:45,360 --> 01:23:46,896
Chuckin' a gun in a garbage can.
That's smart.
1827
01:23:46,920 --> 01:23:47,920
What?
Oh, my God.
1828
01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:50,195
Okay! I know it was wrong.
I self-corrected.
1829
01:23:50,280 --> 01:23:52,157
No, you didn't.
I just asked you to throw...
1830
01:23:52,240 --> 01:23:54,515
Well, you made me
throw it away. Okay.
1831
01:23:55,480 --> 01:23:57,391
Okay, there it is.
Renault Enterprises.
1832
01:23:58,640 --> 01:24:00,480
The contract is probably
in his private office,
1833
01:24:00,600 --> 01:24:02,431
which is at the top
of the building.
1834
01:24:02,520 --> 01:24:04,480
I'm guessing there's a safe,
could be in the wall.
1835
01:24:04,800 --> 01:24:07,030
Could be behind
one of those creepy paintings.
1836
01:24:07,120 --> 01:24:08,712
We got two guards on tonight.
1837
01:24:08,800 --> 01:24:10,736
We got one at the main desk
and one by the elevators.
1838
01:24:10,760 --> 01:24:12,240
Mike, I need you to
distract the guard
1839
01:24:12,480 --> 01:24:15,313
while Claire lumbers in,
and I follow behind like a cougar.
1840
01:24:15,960 --> 01:24:17,473
Okay, next, we head upstairs.
1841
01:24:17,560 --> 01:24:19,080
Claire, I'm gonna
give you a head start
1842
01:24:19,120 --> 01:24:21,395
'cause I'm gonna take those
motherfuckers 10 at a time.
1843
01:24:21,480 --> 01:24:24,040
You stand there with your mouth
hangin' open, and pointin',
1844
01:24:24,160 --> 01:24:25,912
and I'll slide into home base.
1845
01:24:26,960 --> 01:24:29,030
Mike, I need you to
distract the guard
1846
01:24:29,120 --> 01:24:31,076
by coming from the east,
turning him around,
1847
01:24:31,160 --> 01:24:33,230
so when we approach,
while you're sucking his dick,
1848
01:24:33,320 --> 01:24:34,719
we can get right past him.
1849
01:24:34,840 --> 01:24:36,193
So under no circumstances...
1850
01:24:36,280 --> 01:24:37,918
I'm sucking his what?
1851
01:24:38,120 --> 01:24:39,235
You're sucking his dick.
1852
01:24:39,320 --> 01:24:40,992
I'm sucking his dick?
Oh.
1853
01:24:41,120 --> 01:24:42,576
Well, I'm not
gonna suck his dick.
1854
01:24:42,600 --> 01:24:45,194
I'm the brains behind it.
The brains never sucks the dick.
1855
01:24:45,280 --> 01:24:47,336
Why am I sucking his dick?
I don't wanna suck his dick!
1856
01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:49,396
Claire doesn't
wanna suck his dick!
1857
01:24:49,520 --> 01:24:51,670
How 'bout none of us
suck that man's penis?
1858
01:24:51,760 --> 01:24:53,239
Yeah, what if nobody
sucks his dick?
1859
01:24:53,320 --> 01:24:54,514
No dick suckin'.
1860
01:24:55,400 --> 01:24:57,516
Well, I worked on
that plan a long time.
1861
01:24:57,600 --> 01:24:59,591
Fine. Fine,
let's go to plan B.
1862
01:24:59,680 --> 01:25:01,033
Yeah, that sounds good.
1863
01:25:01,120 --> 01:25:03,918
If you're gonna be a baby and not
suck dick, that's fine with me.
1864
01:25:17,600 --> 01:25:19,352
Hey, there.
Hey! How you doing?
1865
01:25:19,440 --> 01:25:23,274
Is this 9800 Michigan?
I'm late for a birthday party.
1866
01:25:23,360 --> 01:25:24,952
No, this is 9900.
1867
01:25:25,040 --> 01:25:26,678
This is 9900?
Yeah.
1868
01:25:26,720 --> 01:25:27,936
Well, wouldn't you know it?
Yeah.
1869
01:25:27,960 --> 01:25:29,120
Why are you dressed like that?
1870
01:25:29,200 --> 01:25:30,315
What are you dressed as?
1871
01:25:30,400 --> 01:25:31,469
I'm glad you asked me.
1872
01:25:31,560 --> 01:25:34,472
I am actually a demon.
I'm a phoenix.
1873
01:25:36,280 --> 01:25:37,599
Pretty cool, right?
1874
01:25:38,040 --> 01:25:39,189
Are you into demons?
1875
01:25:39,880 --> 01:25:41,950
Yeah. I know
a fair amount.
1876
01:25:42,040 --> 01:25:43,109
That is very cool.
1877
01:25:43,240 --> 01:25:44,776
You can touch
the feathers if you want.
1878
01:25:44,800 --> 01:25:47,155
Yeah, a lot of people don't know that.
It was a demon.
1879
01:25:47,240 --> 01:25:50,437
It's actually
pronounced Quetzalcóatl.
1880
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:51,856
He's talking too much.
1881
01:25:51,880 --> 01:25:54,394
He'd be a lot quieter
with a penis in his mouth.
1882
01:25:54,920 --> 01:25:56,069
I'm into demons.
You are?
1883
01:25:56,160 --> 01:25:57,275
Yeah.
I think you said that.
1884
01:25:57,360 --> 01:25:59,120
I really am. I do
a lot of fantasy role-play.
1885
01:25:59,160 --> 01:26:00,559
That's so weird.
1886
01:26:00,640 --> 01:26:02,437
Yeah, gets a little
boring in here sometimes.
1887
01:26:02,520 --> 01:26:04,158
I bet.
I whistle.
1888
01:26:04,240 --> 01:26:05,878
You whistle?
I whistle a lot in here.
1889
01:26:05,960 --> 01:26:07,075
Let's hear some.
Yeah.
1890
01:26:12,520 --> 01:26:14,238
Why is that one whistling?
1891
01:26:16,280 --> 01:26:17,679
Just kind of
holding that one note.
1892
01:26:17,760 --> 01:26:19,056
Yeah, I like to do that.
I like to play with
1893
01:26:19,080 --> 01:26:20,877
bars and structures,
things like that.
1894
01:26:20,960 --> 01:26:22,800
You got a real hefty
lung capacity there.
1895
01:26:22,880 --> 01:26:24,393
I never got your name.
1896
01:26:24,440 --> 01:26:27,796
Yeah, it's... It's Jim. Jimberly.
Jim?
1897
01:26:28,160 --> 01:26:29,912
Jimberly?
Jimberly Stevenson.
1898
01:26:31,880 --> 01:26:33,233
What's going on?
1899
01:26:33,320 --> 01:26:35,834
It's a cramp!
God, I got a cramp!
1900
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:38,878
Kenny! All right. I can help you.
I can help you.
1901
01:26:39,000 --> 01:26:41,336
It's in the quad! No, it's in the quad.
Right here? Right here?
1902
01:26:41,360 --> 01:26:42,839
That's the top.
That's the top.
1903
01:26:42,920 --> 01:26:43,955
Okay? Right there?
1904
01:26:44,040 --> 01:26:46,960
That's a little too close to the
groin, Kenny. That's a no-fly zone.
1905
01:26:51,800 --> 01:26:53,756
Thank God you're here.
1906
01:26:53,840 --> 01:26:56,115
I'm always here.
This is my shift.
1907
01:27:00,520 --> 01:27:01,953
Yeah.
1908
01:27:02,040 --> 01:27:04,554
Sorry. You are so funny.
That really got me.
1909
01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:06,830
I'm Pete. I'm security.
1910
01:27:06,920 --> 01:27:09,878
Hi, Pete. I
1911
01:27:09,960 --> 01:27:11,598
am a specialty dancer.
1912
01:27:11,680 --> 01:27:12,749
Whoa.
1913
01:27:13,160 --> 01:27:15,594
"Whoa" is right.
Nice blouse.
1914
01:27:15,800 --> 01:27:17,870
It's Talbots.
1915
01:27:18,000 --> 01:27:21,231
One of my more expensive
clients asked
1916
01:27:21,320 --> 01:27:24,312
that I pay him a visit here,
in the building, tonight.
1917
01:27:24,760 --> 01:27:26,716
No one goes up without a pass.
1918
01:27:27,320 --> 01:27:28,320
Right.
1919
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:30,994
All I need you to do is swipe that
little card, okay?
1920
01:27:31,080 --> 01:27:32,957
And then, mama can get to work.
1921
01:27:34,000 --> 01:27:36,560
Sometimes, before the dance,
I have to limber up.
1922
01:27:36,640 --> 01:27:38,358
I do some
sexy stretches. Like...
1923
01:27:46,360 --> 01:27:47,976
All right? How's that?
Jelly. Back to square one.
1924
01:27:48,000 --> 01:27:49,479
We're good?
Yup! Yup, yup.
1925
01:27:49,560 --> 01:27:51,073
I don't wanna overdo it.
Phew.
1926
01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:53,558
Okay. Well, hey.
1927
01:27:53,680 --> 01:27:55,336
Kenny, you're one of the
good ones, man. Yeah.
1928
01:27:55,360 --> 01:27:57,016
Yeah, not a lot of guys
would do that for another guy.
1929
01:27:57,040 --> 01:27:58,712
I'll do it for you.
Thanks, man.
1930
01:27:58,840 --> 01:28:00,656
But we'll hang. We'll do it.
Yeah, we'll totally hang.
1931
01:28:00,680 --> 01:28:02,216
No big deal, buddy.
All right, have a good one.
1932
01:28:02,240 --> 01:28:03,468
Bye, Jimberly.
1933
01:28:03,880 --> 01:28:05,598
You buzz me up,
1934
01:28:05,680 --> 01:28:07,636
and I'll give you a free dance
on the way down.
1935
01:28:07,760 --> 01:28:08,829
How about that?
1936
01:28:09,360 --> 01:28:10,554
I'll let you up.
1937
01:28:11,360 --> 01:28:13,669
I like Gordon Lightfoot.
1938
01:28:13,840 --> 01:28:15,068
Who doesn't?
1939
01:28:16,920 --> 01:28:21,516
The legend lives on
from the Chippewa on down
1940
01:28:21,600 --> 01:28:25,115
To the big lake they
call Gitche Gumee
1941
01:28:25,560 --> 01:28:30,953
The lake... Said and...
1942
01:28:31,040 --> 01:28:33,395
Oh, my God.
Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete!
1943
01:28:33,840 --> 01:28:35,193
Did you just...
1944
01:28:35,280 --> 01:28:36,315
Yes.
1945
01:28:36,400 --> 01:28:37,469
Did you?
1946
01:28:38,320 --> 01:28:39,389
No.
1947
01:28:39,560 --> 01:28:41,073
God damn it, Pete.
1948
01:28:41,400 --> 01:28:42,913
I gotta sit down.
Yeah.
1949
01:28:43,000 --> 01:28:44,069
Okay.
I gotta sit down.
1950
01:28:45,600 --> 01:28:47,636
I'm embarrassed.
Just...
1951
01:28:49,120 --> 01:28:50,189
He seems nice.
1952
01:28:56,200 --> 01:28:57,235
Jesus.
1953
01:28:57,400 --> 01:29:01,871
Jimberly. "J", "J".
1954
01:29:02,320 --> 01:29:04,709
Maybe it's "J-Y-M."
1955
01:29:04,800 --> 01:29:06,756
What the fuck?
There's no Jimberlys.
1956
01:29:21,120 --> 01:29:22,872
Well, then where is his office?
1957
01:29:23,000 --> 01:29:26,117
I don't know.
The last time I was here, I was tipsy.
1958
01:29:29,400 --> 01:29:31,960
Oh, my God. You guys,
we're total burglars. Look at us!
1959
01:29:32,040 --> 01:29:33,473
How did you get past the guards?
1960
01:29:33,560 --> 01:29:35,880
That was a piece of cake.
He was, like, totally passed out.
1961
01:29:35,960 --> 01:29:37,376
I don't know what was
going on there.
1962
01:29:37,400 --> 01:29:38,435
Me neither.
1963
01:29:43,960 --> 01:29:45,951
I feel like this is going great.
1964
01:29:46,040 --> 01:29:49,510
Michelle, you brought trash bags,
baby wipes, shower gel.
1965
01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:51,909
Do you actually think
we're gonna need rope?
1966
01:29:53,800 --> 01:29:57,236
Come on! Every story about a
burglar always involves rope.
1967
01:29:57,320 --> 01:29:58,656
That's true.
It's in all the movies.
1968
01:29:58,680 --> 01:30:00,875
I am a mogul, not a cat burglar.
1969
01:30:00,960 --> 01:30:03,120
I'm also the only one that
thought to bring provisions.
1970
01:30:03,840 --> 01:30:05,512
Michelle, stop!
I forgot, I'm sorry.
1971
01:30:06,280 --> 01:30:07,576
I stole the guard's keycard.
What?
1972
01:30:07,600 --> 01:30:08,749
You stole his key?
1973
01:30:09,040 --> 01:30:10,040
Yeah. Okay.
1974
01:30:13,400 --> 01:30:14,958
Somebody loves Mortal Kombat.
1975
01:30:15,040 --> 01:30:16,656
Let's just find the
contract and get outta here.
1976
01:30:16,680 --> 01:30:18,136
Okay. I bet you he put
it in his panic room.
1977
01:30:18,160 --> 01:30:19,736
That's what I'd do
if I had a panic room.
1978
01:30:19,760 --> 01:30:21,776
It's probably voice-activated,
high-tech stuff in here.
1979
01:30:21,800 --> 01:30:22,835
Open desk.
1980
01:30:22,920 --> 01:30:24,558
- Yeah. Open desk!
- Open...
1981
01:30:24,640 --> 01:30:26,119
No, it was just manual.
1982
01:30:27,920 --> 01:30:29,911
I got it! In his
desk drawer,
1983
01:30:30,000 --> 01:30:31,831
in a file marked "Darnell."
1984
01:30:31,920 --> 01:30:34,150
Probably overthought that one.
It's classic Mike.
1985
01:30:34,280 --> 01:30:36,271
I do that a lot.
Let's go!
1986
01:30:36,360 --> 01:30:38,600
Son of a bitch,
Stephan! You left the door open!
1987
01:30:40,120 --> 01:30:41,120
Oh.
1988
01:30:41,800 --> 01:30:43,028
Well, who do we have here?
1989
01:30:44,000 --> 01:30:47,788
Michelle Darnell,
the baker and Quetzalcóatl.
1990
01:30:47,920 --> 01:30:50,070
That is impressive.
I mean, you gotta give him that.
1991
01:30:50,160 --> 01:30:51,798
I'm not even wearing the mask.
1992
01:30:52,440 --> 01:30:55,432
That wouldn't be our contract
you're holding, would it, Michelle?
1993
01:30:55,920 --> 01:30:58,520
You wouldn't be foolish enough to
back out of our plan, would you?
1994
01:30:58,640 --> 01:31:01,279
You know what?
It was never her company to sell.
1995
01:31:01,360 --> 01:31:04,318
- I own 50% of it, so...
- Yeah.
1996
01:31:04,440 --> 01:31:07,079
I may have fudged the initial paperwork.
You what?
1997
01:31:07,160 --> 01:31:08,559
But I am sorry.
So, I'm not...
1998
01:31:08,640 --> 01:31:09,656
And I will rectify...
Michelle!
1999
01:31:09,680 --> 01:31:11,557
You will be. You will be.
I'm sorry.
2000
01:31:11,640 --> 01:31:15,030
I wonder, how should
I approach this?
2001
01:31:20,000 --> 01:31:22,878
Call the proper authorities
and turn you in?
2002
01:31:22,960 --> 01:31:25,315
Or we could just talk it
out amongst ourselves.
2003
01:31:26,160 --> 01:31:28,196
Do you know what the
fascinating thing is
2004
01:31:28,320 --> 01:31:30,356
about the Japanese martial arts?
2005
01:31:31,480 --> 01:31:32,913
The discipline.
2006
01:31:33,080 --> 01:31:34,399
Ya!
2007
01:31:35,440 --> 01:31:36,793
The integrity.
2008
01:31:40,360 --> 01:31:41,839
The loyalty.
2009
01:31:44,080 --> 01:31:45,433
Okay, okay, stop!
2010
01:31:45,560 --> 01:31:46,754
I'll do it.
2011
01:31:47,840 --> 01:31:49,478
I'll suck your dick.
What?
2012
01:31:49,560 --> 01:31:50,834
I don't wanna do it,
2013
01:31:50,920 --> 01:31:53,229
but if you promise not to
hurt anybody in this room,
2014
01:31:53,360 --> 01:31:54,554
I'll suck your dick.
2015
01:31:54,640 --> 01:31:55,680
Mike, no.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
2016
01:31:56,440 --> 01:31:57,759
Oh, my God.
Mike, no. What?
2017
01:31:57,840 --> 01:31:59,478
You don't want me to
suck his dick? No.
2018
01:31:59,560 --> 01:32:01,630
Wrong dick, wrong time, Mike.
2019
01:32:01,720 --> 01:32:02,720
Wrong dick.
Wrong dick.
2020
01:32:02,800 --> 01:32:04,256
It was supposed to be
the security guy's dick.
2021
01:32:04,280 --> 01:32:05,599
I was trying to
be a team player.
2022
01:32:05,680 --> 01:32:07,830
Real eager, Claire.
It's a red flag.
2023
01:32:07,920 --> 01:32:09,035
I don't like sucking dicks.
2024
01:32:09,120 --> 01:32:10,269
It's not my business.
2025
01:32:10,360 --> 01:32:11,680
Nobody's sucking my dick.
2026
01:32:11,760 --> 01:32:12,909
Fair enough.
2027
01:32:13,000 --> 01:32:15,798
Well, that's the first time
I've heard you say that, but...
2028
01:32:15,880 --> 01:32:16,880
I'm going to plan B,
2029
01:32:16,960 --> 01:32:18,518
my tongue has
always been my sword.
2030
01:32:18,600 --> 01:32:19,600
Okay.
2031
01:32:21,200 --> 01:32:23,191
Put the knife away, Ronald.
2032
01:32:23,480 --> 01:32:26,153
It's not a knife.
It's a katana.
2033
01:32:26,240 --> 01:32:27,355
Katana.
2034
01:32:27,600 --> 01:32:30,876
You're not gonna cut anyone with
that knife and we all know it.
2035
01:32:32,560 --> 01:32:33,675
Oh, shit!
2036
01:32:33,760 --> 01:32:36,149
Big bird, blondie,
over there! Go! Scoot!
2037
01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:37,673
Okay. All right, easy!
2038
01:32:40,240 --> 01:32:41,275
Oh, shit.
2039
01:32:42,640 --> 01:32:44,790
Are you crazy, Ron?
I'm bleeding!
2040
01:32:45,080 --> 01:32:46,479
Give me back what's mine.
2041
01:32:47,880 --> 01:32:49,108
Michelle!
2042
01:32:50,640 --> 01:32:52,073
Oh, hello, old friend!
Get off!
2043
01:32:53,080 --> 01:32:54,149
Oh, God, I've missed this.
2044
01:32:54,240 --> 01:32:56,629
God, you keep
that shit tight. No!
2045
01:32:58,920 --> 01:33:00,120
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
2046
01:33:00,160 --> 01:33:01,309
Michelle, get up!
Get up!
2047
01:33:03,760 --> 01:33:04,909
Just get up.
2048
01:33:05,520 --> 01:33:06,999
Okay, let's be reasonable.
2049
01:33:07,080 --> 01:33:09,440
You know, I'm sure we can come
to some kind of an agreement.
2050
01:33:09,760 --> 01:33:10,875
Oh, we're past that point.
2051
01:33:10,960 --> 01:33:13,216
For the first time in my life,
I'm trying to do the right thing!
2052
01:33:13,240 --> 01:33:14,992
This is not about me and you!
2053
01:33:15,080 --> 01:33:16,718
You don't even want our company!
2054
01:33:16,800 --> 01:33:20,349
That's true, but you screwed me over
25 years ago, you bitch.
2055
01:33:21,080 --> 01:33:22,911
I thought sending you
to prison would help,
2056
01:33:23,000 --> 01:33:26,037
but cutting you to ribbons is the
only way I'll get satisfaction!
2057
01:33:28,120 --> 01:33:29,269
Had enough?
2058
01:33:30,280 --> 01:33:31,280
Shit.
2059
01:33:31,640 --> 01:33:33,631
- Oh, check this out.
- Fucking psycho!
2060
01:33:37,440 --> 01:33:38,440
Back up.
2061
01:33:40,600 --> 01:33:41,600
Look at that!
2062
01:33:41,960 --> 01:33:43,837
Just a figure eight.
It's like double Dutch!
2063
01:33:43,920 --> 01:33:44,955
That's not how you do it.
2064
01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:46,216
Yeah, looks like I'm doing it.
2065
01:33:46,240 --> 01:33:48,470
Look at that.
I can bob, somebody can weave.
2066
01:33:48,600 --> 01:33:49,635
You see this shit.
2067
01:33:49,760 --> 01:33:51,273
Ow! God!
2068
01:33:54,280 --> 01:33:55,759
Huh? Twelve years
of baton.
2069
01:33:55,840 --> 01:33:57,616
Everybody likes to make
fun of the baton girls.
2070
01:33:57,640 --> 01:34:00,029
Seven, eight,
one, two, three, four...
2071
01:34:04,320 --> 01:34:05,673
Just give him the contract!
2072
01:34:05,760 --> 01:34:08,274
No! I'm getting
our company back!
2073
01:34:19,600 --> 01:34:22,194
I will cut you in
your white meat!
2074
01:34:22,280 --> 01:34:23,474
What?
Oh, my God.
2075
01:34:24,200 --> 01:34:25,235
Ha!
2076
01:34:25,320 --> 01:34:26,833
Now we both have swords, huh?
2077
01:34:26,920 --> 01:34:28,353
What is happening?
2078
01:34:28,440 --> 01:34:29,640
Pretty fucking literal, Claire!
2079
01:34:29,680 --> 01:34:32,911
We're having a sword fight.
We're both fighting with swords.
2080
01:34:33,000 --> 01:34:35,320
I haven't been with another
woman since I've been with you.
2081
01:34:35,440 --> 01:34:38,830
Really? I've been
with hundreds of men.
2082
01:34:39,160 --> 01:34:40,309
You whore!
2083
01:34:45,720 --> 01:34:47,039
Oh, shit!
2084
01:34:49,680 --> 01:34:50,680
Claire!
2085
01:34:53,120 --> 01:34:54,816
- Michelle, let's go!
- Michelle, come on!
2086
01:34:56,040 --> 01:34:57,553
It's been so long.
2087
01:34:58,960 --> 01:35:01,030
That's enough!
It's too hot.
2088
01:35:09,840 --> 01:35:11,398
Wait a minute!
Why are we running up?
2089
01:35:11,520 --> 01:35:13,736
I don't know, it was the only door.
I'm doing the best I can!
2090
01:35:13,760 --> 01:35:15,671
I should not be
running with a sword!
2091
01:35:16,560 --> 01:35:18,576
Okay, all right! Okay. All right.
There's gotta be a way down!
2092
01:35:18,600 --> 01:35:19,999
Get away from there.
Come here.
2093
01:35:20,080 --> 01:35:21,536
Michelle, I'm not so good
with heights, you know.
2094
01:35:21,560 --> 01:35:22,675
I'm feeling kind of tingly.
2095
01:35:22,760 --> 01:35:24,056
Claire, look at me.
You have been on
2096
01:35:24,080 --> 01:35:25,911
a helipad before and
it's gonna be fine.
2097
01:35:26,000 --> 01:35:28,355
Right. Right, but then they
weren't chasing us with swords!
2098
01:35:29,040 --> 01:35:32,316
You make a good point.
Claire, I'm sorry I got you into this.
2099
01:35:32,400 --> 01:35:33,674
Michelle!
2100
01:35:33,760 --> 01:35:35,318
God, I need to do more cardio.
2101
01:35:35,400 --> 01:35:37,550
Go over there.
Go over there! Be careful.
2102
01:35:38,560 --> 01:35:40,073
You left so suddenly.
2103
01:35:40,160 --> 01:35:43,072
Okay, let them go.
I'm the one you want.
2104
01:35:44,400 --> 01:35:47,198
You know, I killed a man in
Costa Rica with this sword.
2105
01:35:48,000 --> 01:35:51,276
I guess you would
call it my killing sword.
2106
01:36:02,960 --> 01:36:04,473
You're terrible in bed!
2107
01:36:05,000 --> 01:36:06,000
I know.
2108
01:36:07,280 --> 01:36:08,395
Oh, my God!
Michelle!
2109
01:36:08,920 --> 01:36:10,353
Whoa. Honey!
Let her go, Claire!
2110
01:36:10,440 --> 01:36:12,112
She's making
a fortune in heaven.
2111
01:36:13,280 --> 01:36:15,396
Hey, hey.
Hey, smile!
2112
01:36:15,480 --> 01:36:17,869
Okay, everyone take it easy.
2113
01:36:18,000 --> 01:36:19,480
I've been filming
this the whole time.
2114
01:36:20,000 --> 01:36:22,680
Take the sword away from her or I
swear to God I'm gonna hit "send."
2115
01:36:22,880 --> 01:36:24,950
Yeah, you're not
gonna hit "send"
2116
01:36:25,120 --> 01:36:27,190
because I'm gonna
chop your hand off.
2117
01:36:27,280 --> 01:36:28,349
No!
2118
01:36:28,440 --> 01:36:29,714
Oh, my God.
2119
01:36:29,800 --> 01:36:31,518
- Brother!
- No!
2120
01:36:31,600 --> 01:36:34,876
- Son of a...
- Samurai!
2121
01:36:34,960 --> 01:36:36,075
Shut up!
2122
01:36:36,160 --> 01:36:39,038
Oh, thank goodness!
Michelle, are you all right?
2123
01:36:39,120 --> 01:36:40,155
I'm fine!
2124
01:36:40,480 --> 01:36:42,391
I'm about to feel much better.
2125
01:36:43,600 --> 01:36:44,953
No.
Yes!
2126
01:36:45,400 --> 01:36:47,789
Be wrong to ask
for your forgiveness?
2127
01:36:49,520 --> 01:36:51,112
It's Ron talking.
2128
01:36:52,320 --> 01:36:54,038
Oh, Ron!
I'm sorry.
2129
01:36:54,360 --> 01:36:57,636
Renault, do you still need
me to hold them at bay?
2130
01:36:59,800 --> 01:37:00,800
Oh, my God.
2131
01:37:00,840 --> 01:37:01,909
Come here.
2132
01:37:02,840 --> 01:37:03,875
Ow.
2133
01:37:04,240 --> 01:37:05,240
Ow.
2134
01:37:06,640 --> 01:37:10,269
Michelle, don't make
out with the sociopath!
2135
01:37:10,480 --> 01:37:13,119
I know. You make
a good point.
2136
01:37:13,720 --> 01:37:15,278
But this is really good stuff.
2137
01:37:15,360 --> 01:37:16,588
Victim here.
2138
01:37:16,680 --> 01:37:17,999
Michelle!
2139
01:37:20,160 --> 01:37:23,755
Michelle! He literally
tried to kill you!
2140
01:37:23,840 --> 01:37:25,990
I know.
But his mouth didn't!
2141
01:37:33,640 --> 01:37:37,428
Okay!
Attention, everyone!
2142
01:37:37,520 --> 01:37:41,308
I just wanna say what a great first
year for the Darnell's Darlings.
2143
01:37:41,400 --> 01:37:44,597
And what a great first house
for Rachel and Claire.
2144
01:37:46,120 --> 01:37:47,155
Cheers!
2145
01:37:47,240 --> 01:37:51,279
Finally, they have a decent guestroom
so I can stay over when I get blasted.
2146
01:37:51,360 --> 01:37:52,998
Michelle.
What's "blasted"?
2147
01:37:53,080 --> 01:37:55,310
I'll show you in about
three drinks.
2148
01:37:55,440 --> 01:37:57,237
- No, she won't.
- I'm kidding.
2149
01:37:57,320 --> 01:37:58,514
But if I can,
2150
01:37:58,640 --> 01:38:00,631
can I take a serious
note for a minute,
2151
01:38:00,720 --> 01:38:03,280
and I just wanna
say I'm proud of you.
2152
01:38:03,360 --> 01:38:05,999
You've built a great family
home here for you and Rachel.
2153
01:38:06,080 --> 01:38:09,390
And I'm awfully glad that I
get to be a part of that. So.
2154
01:38:10,120 --> 01:38:11,314
Thank you, Michelle.
2155
01:38:11,400 --> 01:38:12,469
Thank you.
2156
01:38:12,560 --> 01:38:15,870
Oh, and thank you for the new sofa!
You really shouldn't have done that.
2157
01:38:16,520 --> 01:38:18,192
Oh, well, I should have, though.
2158
01:38:18,280 --> 01:38:21,795
I mean, the old one was very
uncomfortable and very dangerous.
2159
01:38:21,880 --> 01:38:23,711
But don't worry.
I don't wanna hear it.
2160
01:38:23,800 --> 01:38:26,519
I did donate it to
just the right person.
2161
01:38:33,560 --> 01:38:34,754
Hannah!
2162
01:38:35,720 --> 01:38:38,075
Michelle Darnell
just sent us a sofa bed.
2163
01:38:38,160 --> 01:38:41,152
You know what I call that?
A victory. I win.
2164
01:38:41,960 --> 01:38:43,109
Whatever.
2165
01:38:44,920 --> 01:38:46,239
Oh, it is comfortable.
2166
01:38:48,600 --> 01:38:50,511
Ah.
2167
01:38:51,520 --> 01:38:52,589
It's comfortable...
2168
01:38:55,160 --> 01:38:56,513
Darnell!
2169
01:41:03,600 --> 01:41:05,616
I may have had a little bit
of your Scotch last night
2170
01:41:05,640 --> 01:41:08,712
and I got into
the most wonderful chip.
2171
01:41:08,800 --> 01:41:11,030
It was called a Dorito.
2172
01:41:15,360 --> 01:41:18,079
I've had wonderful
Vermont ched...
2173
01:41:20,440 --> 01:41:22,032
I'm so sorry.
God, I'm a hack.
2174
01:41:22,480 --> 01:41:23,879
Hi, Rachel.
2175
01:41:23,960 --> 01:41:25,154
It's Rachel!
2176
01:41:25,240 --> 01:41:26,753
That's what I said.
2177
01:41:27,320 --> 01:41:28,355
One more time.
2178
01:41:30,280 --> 01:41:32,840
I'm an icon. I am not
a professional burger.
2179
01:41:36,440 --> 01:41:38,192
But I like burgers.
2180
01:41:38,720 --> 01:41:40,836
I took the guard's
keycard. Oh, fuck me.
2181
01:41:40,920 --> 01:41:43,115
I took the card from the geek.
What the fuck is it?
2182
01:41:43,240 --> 01:41:44,639
I took the guard's keycard.
2183
01:41:44,720 --> 01:41:45,880
I took the card from the geek.
2184
01:41:45,960 --> 01:41:47,518
Oh,
my God. Again.
2185
01:41:47,600 --> 01:41:48,669
Katana.
2186
01:41:49,080 --> 01:41:50,752
Oh, gosh. Sorry.
2187
01:41:51,520 --> 01:41:54,637
Stop picking up wood! Michelle!
2188
01:41:59,280 --> 01:42:00,349
Here we go.
2189
01:42:00,440 --> 01:42:01,680
Oh, God. I'm gonna
pee my pants.
2190
01:42:04,240 --> 01:42:06,356
Oh, my God.
No. Please give me one more shot.
2191
01:42:07,760 --> 01:42:08,829
You pop...
2192
01:42:09,880 --> 01:42:12,110
When you left my life...
Shit. Fuck.
2193
01:42:12,200 --> 01:42:14,998
What was that?
I should've been so...
2194
01:42:15,080 --> 01:42:17,355
Meryl Streep would've
just kept going.
2195
01:42:17,520 --> 01:42:20,353
I stand corrected.
Do you want some nuts?
2196
01:42:22,160 --> 01:42:25,038
So we can get to the elevators while
you're sucking his dick.
2197
01:42:25,400 --> 01:42:26,549
Wait. I'm sorry.
2198
01:42:26,640 --> 01:42:31,555
I'm so sorry. I saw it coming
from a mile away. I'm so sorry.
2199
01:42:32,200 --> 01:42:33,679
Okay.
I can get in there.
2200
01:42:33,760 --> 01:42:36,558
I can get the contract and I
can take back our country.
2201
01:42:36,640 --> 01:42:37,896
What do
you mean "take..."
2202
01:42:37,920 --> 01:42:39,440
God damn it.
2203
01:42:40,400 --> 01:42:43,119
I object to parolees
attending our meetings
2204
01:42:43,200 --> 01:42:45,360
and I'd like to put that in the
official transcreept...
2205
01:42:46,760 --> 01:42:48,830
I made a good business...
2206
01:42:50,400 --> 01:42:53,278
You know what?
You made a good business...
2207
01:42:53,360 --> 01:42:57,478
Really? You fucking kidding me?
I can't say "decision."
2208
01:42:57,640 --> 01:42:58,993
Language, Michelle.
Yeah.
2209
01:42:59,400 --> 01:43:00,594
Good night!
2210
01:43:02,120 --> 01:43:03,872
You think they'll
ever yell "cut"?
2211
01:43:05,760 --> 01:43:06,909
No.