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MADE OF HONOR (2008)
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Oh, yeah, nice to see you.
3
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Hey, that dress needs dry-cleaning.
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- Here you go.
- Thank you kindly, Monica.
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Monica? Monica?
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Oh, shit, Hillary.
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Okay.
8
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Hi, Bill.
9
00:01:21,484 --> 00:01:23,748
Oh, hey, Snow White.
10
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Where is 11 B?
11
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Bingo.
12
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Where did she say that thing was?
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Guess it's time for a little action.
14
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Monica.
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It's Bill.
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I got some dictation for you, Monica.
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I got a big secret for you, baby.
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How did you get up here so soon?
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Monica. Monica.
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Wait!
21
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I can't see.
22
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My eyes! My eyes! I can't see!
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Who let you in?
24
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What happened? Where's Monica?
What happened to Monica?
25
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How did you get in here?
26
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She told me where the key was.
I can't see.
27
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Did she say it was okay
to dry hump her roommate?
28
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She said you'd be in the library
because you're a geek.
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I am not a geek. Gosh.
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Oh, my God. What was that, Mace?
31
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Eternity by Calvin Klein.
32
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Oh, I'm gonna be so careful
who I get in bed with from now on.
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That'd be a big adjustment for you,
wouldn't it?
34
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God.
35
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I do that every time.
36
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I've invented a solution for that.
Seriously.
37
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It's something goes around a coffee
cup so you don't burn your hand.
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I'm gonna call it the coffee collar.
Brilliant idea.
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I know all about you.
I know your whole rap.
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- You do?
- Yeah. You're a senior...
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...who preys on freshmen.
You slept with half my floor.
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- Well, half your floor was female.
- Whatever.
43
00:03:18,134 --> 00:03:21,103
And you once met Bono,
which I suspect is total bullshit.
44
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No, it's true. He signed my CD.
It's upstairs in my room...
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...with my coffee collar
if you wanna see it.
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Are you hitting on me?
47
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,511
No. I'm going off your look.
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- My look.
- Yeah. Your "doggy bowl" look.
49
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- Are you calling me a dog?
- No, it's a theory I have.
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00:03:39,389 --> 00:03:40,754
Oh, Casanova has a theory.
51
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When a girl's attracted to a guy,
she has a look. It's her tell, like poker.
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It's the same look a dog gets
right before you put down the bowl.
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You're offensive. And you're crazy.
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I'm honest.
I believe honesty is the best policy.
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All right.
You want me to be honest with you?
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Sure.
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- I'm majoring in Fine Art.
- Right.
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I'm studying the golden proportions
of the human face.
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Your nose is bent,
it droops down at the bottom...
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00:04:04,848 --> 00:04:07,373
...a feature accentuated
by the thinness of your lip.
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00:04:07,550 --> 00:04:09,415
And your eyes are too far apart...
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...but they'd have to be
to accommodate that bent nose.
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I feel sorry for you.
You have to validate yourself...
64
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...through insatiable,
meaningless, ego sport-sex...
65
00:04:17,527 --> 00:04:19,358
...with insecure girls
like my roommate.
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00:04:19,529 --> 00:04:22,089
I would never have sex
with someone...
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...like you.
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Hey, come here.
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That was amazing.
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- What was?
- The honesty.
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That was almost better than sex
without the...
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- Without the crying.
- Actually, it did feel pretty good.
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- No one's been that honest.
- It's called a friend.
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I'm Tom, by the way.
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- Hannah.
- Hannah. That's a palindrome.
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Good night.
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Good night.
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Your hand's clammy.
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I can see through your nightgown.
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Tom, is that you?
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Can I see your Bono autograph?
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She's all yours, friend.
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Monica, get some sleep.
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Good morning.
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Who is this?
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Oh, I'm late.
87
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What are you doing tonight?
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I don't do back-to-backs.
89
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Isn't that what we were doing
last night?
90
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No, that was something different.
Back-to-backs are seeing each other...
91
00:07:01,391 --> 00:07:03,484
...two nights in a row. I don't do that.
92
00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:05,924
Couldn't you just
break one of your stupid rules?
93
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- No.
- For me?
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I'm sorry. I don't break the rules.
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I have a rule about that.
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See you next week.
97
00:08:04,187 --> 00:08:05,620
Thank you.
98
00:08:05,788 --> 00:08:07,050
- Excuse me.
- Sorry.
99
00:08:08,925 --> 00:08:10,756
Can I get a grande drip...
100
00:08:10,927 --> 00:08:12,588
...and a decaf, triple grande...
101
00:08:12,762 --> 00:08:15,458
...nonfat, extra-hot, stirred,
no-foam Caramel Macchiato...
102
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...with whipped cream,
extra caramel?
103
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And fill that 70 percent of the way.
Thank you.
104
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Oh, here. Let me put a coffee collar
on that for you.
105
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Oh, thank you.
106
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I hear the guy that invented that
gets a dime for each.
107
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- You're kidding.
- I am not.
108
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That could add up.
109
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Oh, I think I picked up yours
by accident.
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- Sorry about that.
- That's all right. Thank you.
111
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Anytime.
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Bye-bye.
113
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"Gloria."
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Morning.
115
00:09:42,919 --> 00:09:46,377
Good morning, Hannah.
Coffee the way you like it.
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Perfect timing.
I just finished working on his balls.
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That's... Yeah. Good.
So I made a reservation.
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- So which rule is this?
- No back-to-backs.
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Isn't it the same as
the "no more than once a week" rule?
120
00:10:00,670 --> 00:10:02,865
The once a week rule works
Monday to Friday...
121
00:10:03,039 --> 00:10:06,167
You could have a date on Sunday
and then Monday without breaking it.
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00:10:06,342 --> 00:10:07,900
- Exactly, you got it.
- Of course.
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Here we go. Hey, good morning.
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Can I get the steamed buns...
125
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...the scalloped
steamed dumplings...
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...and the vegetarian
and shrimp steamed dumplings.
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- Thank you.
- For what?
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You know how much I love
the fried stuff. You're looking after me.
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Excellent. So what did she say?
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She was hurt, but at least I was...
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- But you were honest, weren't you?
- What? I was. I am. Always.
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I know you are, but it's just shocking
how you use it as a shield.
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Maybe I should lie.
Be more like Dennis Phillips.
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00:10:37,206 --> 00:10:38,833
Say whatever
to get a woman in bed.
135
00:10:39,008 --> 00:10:41,943
Do not be like Dennis Phillips.
He's so gross.
136
00:10:42,111 --> 00:10:44,909
- He only hit on you once.
- At my father's funeral.
137
00:10:45,381 --> 00:10:47,246
Okay, he's not known
for his sensitivity.
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Oh, God. Anyways...
139
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What?
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Nothing.
141
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I know that "nothing."
It's something. Anyway?
142
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Anyway, we both know you don't
need to lie to get a woman into bed.
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Gloria. I don't wanna lose that.
Can I keep it? Thank you.
144
00:11:04,267 --> 00:11:05,996
Here's another rule too:
24-hour rule.
145
00:11:06,169 --> 00:11:09,536
I can't call her for another 24 hours.
Then it appears I'm too desperate.
146
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Yeah, right.
147
00:11:11,274 --> 00:11:13,037
You know,
Dan sent me another letter.
148
00:11:13,209 --> 00:11:15,336
Asking you to move to Canada
and marry him?
149
00:11:15,511 --> 00:11:16,978
A slice of apple-crumb pie.
150
00:11:17,146 --> 00:11:18,841
No. Got that last time.
151
00:11:19,015 --> 00:11:21,449
- You guys broke up like a year ago.
- Nineteen months.
152
00:11:21,617 --> 00:11:25,178
- You're counting?
- No, he is. It was in the letter.
153
00:11:25,354 --> 00:11:27,117
Lemon, butter-cream cup.
154
00:11:27,290 --> 00:11:29,986
Not feeling the cream cup today.
155
00:11:30,159 --> 00:11:31,387
Cranberry-orange muffin?
156
00:11:31,561 --> 00:11:33,688
Oh, Hannah, come on.
You're losing it.
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- I know, I know. Okay, okay.
- They don't have it here. Forget it.
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- Come on. You're disappointing me.
- I got it. I got it.
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Okay, I so have it, I so have it.
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Cream-cheese-swirl brownie.
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You're so good.
162
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What do you think of this?
I think we should bring them this.
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Tom, I'm not going to another one
of your father's weddings.
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Thank you. Hannah? Please.
165
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Take one of the girls
you've been rubbing against.
166
00:12:04,627 --> 00:12:06,094
No weddings or family events.
167
00:12:06,262 --> 00:12:07,991
That's right. I forgot that rule.
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00:12:08,164 --> 00:12:10,962
- Leaves the wrong impression.
- It does.
169
00:12:13,769 --> 00:12:16,966
- Is this made with real alligator?
- Yes, baby alligator.
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00:12:17,473 --> 00:12:19,907
You should be ashamed of yourself.
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00:12:21,477 --> 00:12:22,501
Look at you.
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00:12:22,678 --> 00:12:26,375
Hello there. Hello there.
Aren't you beautiful?
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Oh, I love you. Yes, I do, I love you.
174
00:12:29,218 --> 00:12:31,550
You're so pretty. Yes, you are.
You're beautiful.
175
00:12:31,721 --> 00:12:34,713
You're beautiful. You're so beautiful.
Look at that face.
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Love you, love you, love you.
177
00:12:36,425 --> 00:12:38,552
You should try saying that
to a human sometime.
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00:12:38,728 --> 00:12:39,956
What?
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00:12:40,129 --> 00:12:43,462
A human?
You don't say that to a human.
180
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You're sweet. Love you.
181
00:12:45,902 --> 00:12:47,802
Hannah, please.
Come to the wedding.
182
00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:49,904
- No.
- He gets married and I go.
183
00:12:50,072 --> 00:12:52,802
I go because he's my father
and I care deeply for the man.
184
00:12:52,975 --> 00:12:54,636
Everybody knows
he doesn't love them.
185
00:12:54,810 --> 00:12:56,471
They don't love him. It's pathetic.
186
00:12:56,646 --> 00:12:58,910
Breaks my heart.
I don't know what to say.
187
00:12:59,081 --> 00:13:02,448
If someone's making a mistake and
it's not your place to interfere, say:
188
00:13:02,618 --> 00:13:03,778
"I'm happy you're happy."
189
00:13:03,953 --> 00:13:05,784
- "I'm happy you're happy."
- Yeah.
190
00:13:05,955 --> 00:13:08,185
Okay. I'll do that.
191
00:13:08,891 --> 00:13:11,883
I promise you, this is the last time
I'll ask you to come.
192
00:13:12,061 --> 00:13:14,996
And then I'll find somebody else
to come for the next few.
193
00:13:15,164 --> 00:13:17,655
Hannah, please.
194
00:13:20,036 --> 00:13:21,731
That's cute.
195
00:13:23,439 --> 00:13:26,772
- Last time.
- Thank you. Thank you.
196
00:13:38,854 --> 00:13:41,789
Look, she gets the apartment
in the city and 30 grand a month.
197
00:13:41,958 --> 00:13:44,620
Right. Okay, okay.
You get the house in the Hamptons.
198
00:13:44,794 --> 00:13:47,354
She's asking for the apartment
in the city and 30 grand.
199
00:13:47,530 --> 00:13:50,090
- Thirty? But...
- Are you still negotiating the prenup?
200
00:13:50,266 --> 00:13:53,963
- Now the party starts, my son is here.
- You're getting married in 10 minutes.
201
00:13:54,136 --> 00:13:56,730
Dad, Dad, please. I can't breathe.
Dad. Please, Dad.
202
00:13:57,773 --> 00:13:59,866
- Did you bring the lovely Hannah?
- Yes, I did.
203
00:14:00,042 --> 00:14:02,306
You don't act on that,
you know what I'm gonna do?
204
00:14:02,478 --> 00:14:04,673
- No.
- I'm gonna make her my number six.
205
00:14:06,148 --> 00:14:07,945
It's seven. This is number six.
206
00:14:09,251 --> 00:14:11,515
- Yeah.
- My God, you are pretty.
207
00:14:11,687 --> 00:14:13,587
Oh, Dad...
208
00:14:13,756 --> 00:14:15,348
I used to be that pretty once.
209
00:14:15,524 --> 00:14:17,355
Dennis, look how pretty my boy is.
210
00:14:17,526 --> 00:14:20,620
He's beautiful. They won't accept
a minimum of five times a week.
211
00:14:20,796 --> 00:14:22,354
She promised five, I want five.
212
00:14:22,531 --> 00:14:24,829
What did she promise you
five times a week?
213
00:14:25,334 --> 00:14:27,131
- Four times?
- Two.
214
00:14:27,303 --> 00:14:29,771
No, no, no. We're not done yet.
We're not done yet.
215
00:14:30,506 --> 00:14:33,475
- Three with a bimonthly BJ.
- Oh, this is disturbing.
216
00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:36,544
- Four, and make it weekly.
- Wait, wait, wait. Don't...
217
00:14:36,712 --> 00:14:39,306
Driver, go around the block.
We are not even close.
218
00:14:39,482 --> 00:14:40,744
- Hi.
- Hi.
219
00:14:40,916 --> 00:14:43,942
- What was that?
- Christie, wait. Christie.
220
00:14:44,887 --> 00:14:46,252
- Come on.
- Okay. Okay.
221
00:14:46,422 --> 00:14:48,413
Come on, tell me.
Say what you gotta say.
222
00:14:48,591 --> 00:14:50,957
Well, I'm happy if you're happy.
223
00:14:51,127 --> 00:14:53,561
"You're too old for her, Dad.
She doesn't love you.
224
00:14:53,729 --> 00:14:56,630
This is embarrassing. You're gonna
rack up your fifth divorce."
225
00:14:56,799 --> 00:14:58,357
- Sixth.
- Sixth.
226
00:15:00,302 --> 00:15:03,396
- Come on, I'm happy if you're happy.
- Bullshit.
227
00:15:03,572 --> 00:15:05,563
They'll go for four
if you exercise more.
228
00:15:05,741 --> 00:15:07,470
You can't gain any more weight.
229
00:15:07,643 --> 00:15:08,701
- Take it. Deal.
- Deal.
230
00:15:08,878 --> 00:15:11,813
I told her I weighed 10 pounds more
than I do. Ain't love grand?
231
00:15:11,981 --> 00:15:13,812
- Sign them both.
- What's he signing now?
232
00:15:13,983 --> 00:15:17,180
- Current prenup and his last divorce.
- That's just great.
233
00:15:17,353 --> 00:15:19,913
You look great, don't fix it.
Come on.
234
00:15:20,089 --> 00:15:21,283
- You're good.
- Move.
235
00:15:21,457 --> 00:15:22,583
- I'm so excited.
- Yeah.
236
00:15:22,758 --> 00:15:23,884
Thank you.
237
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,721
I'm so excited.
238
00:16:05,201 --> 00:16:07,260
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
239
00:16:08,637 --> 00:16:11,731
- Did you tell your dad you loved him?
- I told him I cared for him.
240
00:16:11,907 --> 00:16:14,933
You can't even tell your father.
I don't get that.
241
00:16:15,111 --> 00:16:17,602
- It's a guy thing.
- No, it's a Tom thing.
242
00:16:17,780 --> 00:16:20,715
Oh, well, you're an "I love you" slut.
243
00:16:21,550 --> 00:16:22,608
Are you kidding me?
244
00:16:22,785 --> 00:16:25,253
You say it all the time, to everybody.
245
00:16:25,421 --> 00:16:28,049
- Oh, this looks so good.
- That looks good. What is that?
246
00:16:28,224 --> 00:16:31,091
Lemon. I should've ordered this.
This looks good.
247
00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:33,091
You always order better than I do.
248
00:16:35,898 --> 00:16:38,890
It's lemon, right? It's good.
I'm ordering that from now on.
249
00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:40,194
- No, you won't.
- Why?
250
00:16:40,369 --> 00:16:43,031
I need you to order the chocolate cake
so I can have some.
251
00:16:43,205 --> 00:16:45,070
There's my son.
252
00:16:45,241 --> 00:16:46,572
Here we go.
253
00:16:46,742 --> 00:16:48,801
- Hi.
- Christie. How are you?
254
00:16:48,978 --> 00:16:51,276
If you're a bad boy,
I'm gonna spank you.
255
00:16:51,447 --> 00:16:54,644
Yeah. Do you know what
I would like to say to you? Is that...
256
00:16:55,684 --> 00:16:58,517
- I want you to listen to me, Tom.
- Yes.
257
00:16:58,687 --> 00:17:01,053
If you need any moneys...
258
00:17:01,223 --> 00:17:03,384
...or you need any advice...
- Right.
259
00:17:03,559 --> 00:17:06,528
...or you got girl problems.
I don't think...
260
00:17:07,163 --> 00:17:10,860
I need you to think of me
how you would a real mother.
261
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:12,857
Yeah, that's exactly what I...
262
00:17:13,035 --> 00:17:14,627
- Look at this beauty.
- There he is.
263
00:17:14,804 --> 00:17:16,362
Hello, sweetie.
264
00:17:17,173 --> 00:17:19,266
Drunk as the night I first met her.
265
00:17:21,210 --> 00:17:23,701
- So romantic.
- Oh, please. By all means.
266
00:17:23,879 --> 00:17:26,211
- You are a bad influence on her.
- Me?
267
00:17:26,382 --> 00:17:27,508
Last shot, okay?
268
00:17:28,450 --> 00:17:30,975
- I'm stealing you away.
- "The last one."
269
00:17:31,554 --> 00:17:33,681
He does know
that he can just date, right?
270
00:17:35,057 --> 00:17:36,888
No, I don't think he does.
271
00:17:38,327 --> 00:17:41,387
- To mothers.
- To mothers. Cheers.
272
00:17:43,866 --> 00:17:45,299
Careful.
273
00:17:46,268 --> 00:17:47,394
Oh, nice.
274
00:17:57,646 --> 00:17:59,238
Oh, God.
275
00:17:59,415 --> 00:18:01,007
- Hide me.
- What?
276
00:18:01,183 --> 00:18:02,810
It's my dad's patient coordinator.
277
00:18:03,419 --> 00:18:06,752
Don't look, don't look. Don't look.
No, no. She's obsessed with me.
278
00:18:07,089 --> 00:18:09,819
Yeah, she's created a website
called AllThingsTom.org.
279
00:18:10,392 --> 00:18:12,553
- The psycho blogger?
- Yes.
280
00:18:12,728 --> 00:18:14,923
Okay, come on.
Dance with me. Watch yourself.
281
00:18:15,097 --> 00:18:16,655
- I think she's cute.
- Stop it.
282
00:18:16,832 --> 00:18:18,697
- I'm serious.
- Just keep going.
283
00:18:20,502 --> 00:18:21,560
Here, just...
284
00:18:21,737 --> 00:18:25,571
Hide me. Up. Neck, neck, neck.
Up. Back. Side, side. Go. Over.
285
00:18:28,611 --> 00:18:31,705
Her last blog was
a two-page description of my face.
286
00:18:31,881 --> 00:18:35,373
You see, she doesn't think my nose
is too bent or my lips are too thin.
287
00:18:35,551 --> 00:18:38,418
- Who said that?
- You did. When we met.
288
00:18:38,587 --> 00:18:40,987
- Well, I lied.
- What?
289
00:18:42,625 --> 00:18:44,593
I thought you were hot.
290
00:18:45,728 --> 00:18:47,525
Well, you told me
I looked like a dog.
291
00:18:47,696 --> 00:18:50,221
That's because
I was just trying to sleep with you.
292
00:18:50,399 --> 00:18:52,299
Why haven't you since?
293
00:18:53,936 --> 00:18:57,167
Well, I like having you in my life.
294
00:18:57,339 --> 00:18:58,363
Funny.
295
00:18:58,540 --> 00:18:59,734
- Hi, Tom.
- Oh, hi.
296
00:18:59,909 --> 00:19:02,434
- Did you see the new blog?
- No, we haven't.
297
00:19:03,012 --> 00:19:04,377
- Who's this?
- This?
298
00:19:04,546 --> 00:19:06,377
Well, this is my... My girlfriend.
299
00:19:07,383 --> 00:19:09,510
Why didn't you tell me
you were seeing someone?
300
00:19:09,685 --> 00:19:13,086
- Because I don't know you.
- We have a really open relationship.
301
00:19:13,255 --> 00:19:14,279
Really?
302
00:19:14,456 --> 00:19:16,651
I wanted to talk to you
about that, princess.
303
00:19:16,825 --> 00:19:19,225
I don't wanna be with anybody
but you.
304
00:19:19,395 --> 00:19:22,592
I don't know if I'm really quite ready
to make that commitment.
305
00:19:22,765 --> 00:19:24,892
You know my rules.
306
00:19:25,067 --> 00:19:27,126
- We're a bit of an emotional retard.
- Yeah.
307
00:19:28,170 --> 00:19:30,070
I think I need to start
a new blog now.
308
00:19:32,007 --> 00:19:33,304
That is so scary.
309
00:19:33,475 --> 00:19:36,467
She's psychotic on top of being...
Oh, this is not good.
310
00:19:47,723 --> 00:19:49,281
Get out of my way.
311
00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:52,359
Okay, good, she's gone.
Perfect. Let's go.
312
00:19:52,528 --> 00:19:55,361
Good, come on. What?
313
00:19:57,566 --> 00:19:59,659
Do you remember that home
in Scotland...
314
00:19:59,835 --> 00:20:01,769
...with those paintings
I told you about?
315
00:20:01,937 --> 00:20:04,405
- It's all I think about.
- Stop it, Tom.
316
00:20:04,573 --> 00:20:08,304
I got the board to sign off on making
them additions to our collection.
317
00:20:08,477 --> 00:20:09,739
Really?
318
00:20:09,912 --> 00:20:12,972
But they want me to go to Scotland
for an acquisitions trip.
319
00:20:13,148 --> 00:20:14,615
- When do you go?
- Couple of days.
320
00:20:14,783 --> 00:20:16,273
Couple of days? For how long?
321
00:20:16,452 --> 00:20:18,181
Six weeks.
322
00:20:18,354 --> 00:20:20,288
That's a long time.
323
00:20:20,889 --> 00:20:23,221
- That's great.
- You think?
324
00:20:23,392 --> 00:20:26,122
Yes,
it's a great opportunity for you.
325
00:20:26,295 --> 00:20:28,763
You're like the museum maven
of the Met.
326
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:33,233
It's got a good ring to it.
327
00:20:33,702 --> 00:20:37,160
- Thank you.
- Congratulations.
328
00:20:39,308 --> 00:20:41,367
Six Sundays.
329
00:20:42,978 --> 00:20:44,104
That is six Sundays.
330
00:20:44,279 --> 00:20:48,875
- What am I gonna do without you?
- Oh, well. I can just imagine.
331
00:20:49,651 --> 00:20:51,585
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
332
00:20:51,754 --> 00:20:53,984
- I'm gonna jump!
- No. God. Jesus.
333
00:20:54,156 --> 00:20:56,488
Six Sundays.
How can I live without you?
334
00:20:56,658 --> 00:20:59,252
- Can you not take anything seriously?
- Yeah, I can.
335
00:20:59,428 --> 00:21:00,952
Get down.
336
00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:04,964
- Let's get you another drink.
- I think I've had too many already.
337
00:21:05,134 --> 00:21:06,795
Oh, thanks for coming
to the wedding.
338
00:21:06,969 --> 00:21:09,028
It was a ball.
I can't wait for number seven.
339
00:21:09,204 --> 00:21:11,195
It's coming up soon,
I have a feeling.
340
00:21:11,874 --> 00:21:15,742
We also ask at this time that you
turn off all your electronic devices.
341
00:21:15,911 --> 00:21:19,608
Please leave your cell phones turned
off for the full duration of the flight.
342
00:21:35,764 --> 00:21:38,232
I'm not gonna be able
to play today, man. My back.
343
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,494
If we don't have a fourth, we're gonna
end up with Tiny Shorts Guy.
344
00:21:41,670 --> 00:21:43,069
- How's it going?
- Need another?
345
00:21:43,238 --> 00:21:46,002
No, our friend Paul,
with longer shorts, is coming.
346
00:21:46,175 --> 00:21:48,370
No, Ginny signed him up
for some art-walk thing.
347
00:21:48,544 --> 00:21:50,205
Art walk? Are you serious? Tell me:
348
00:21:50,379 --> 00:21:52,370
What do you think Ginny did
with his balls?
349
00:21:52,548 --> 00:21:54,482
Come on, guys.
Marriage isn't that bad.
350
00:21:54,650 --> 00:21:56,515
Without marriage,
there'd be no divorce.
351
00:21:56,685 --> 00:21:59,017
Without divorce,
I wouldn't have my condo in Aspen.
352
00:21:59,188 --> 00:22:00,655
There you go.
353
00:22:01,390 --> 00:22:03,017
- Good one.
- What is he? What is he?
354
00:22:03,192 --> 00:22:06,093
I'm serious, man. You're missing out
on the best parts of life.
355
00:22:06,261 --> 00:22:07,751
The most important part of life.
356
00:22:07,930 --> 00:22:10,330
This from the guy
whose wife won't let him own porn.
357
00:22:10,499 --> 00:22:13,434
He's gotta wank off to the underwear
of the Sears catalogue.
358
00:22:13,602 --> 00:22:16,366
I thought we weren't
gonna talk about that, huh?
359
00:22:16,538 --> 00:22:19,598
What's the matter with you?
You're single and been single since...
360
00:22:19,775 --> 00:22:22,141
What was her name,
in sophomore year?
361
00:22:22,311 --> 00:22:23,778
Pimkin. Pimkin, that's it.
362
00:22:23,946 --> 00:22:26,039
Pimkin dumped you for him
sophomore year.
363
00:22:26,215 --> 00:22:28,911
You've never been the same.
You haven't been able to sleep.
364
00:22:29,084 --> 00:22:32,144
- Scarred.
- You have no idea how nice it is...
365
00:22:32,321 --> 00:22:35,688
...to have someone who's gonna be
there for you, no matter what, forever.
366
00:22:35,858 --> 00:22:37,018
Snaps to that.
367
00:22:37,192 --> 00:22:40,218
You don't know how nice it is to
sleep with a different girl.
368
00:22:40,395 --> 00:22:41,794
That's true.
369
00:22:41,964 --> 00:22:43,022
Nice rebuttal.
370
00:22:44,032 --> 00:22:46,364
You know, you got the best
of both worlds, Tom.
371
00:22:46,535 --> 00:22:48,696
It's true.
I can sleep with whoever I want...
372
00:22:48,871 --> 00:22:51,840
...but I still get to hang with Hannah.
It's a perfect setup.
373
00:22:52,007 --> 00:22:54,168
- Well, maybe not for Hannah.
- What's that mean?
374
00:22:54,476 --> 00:22:56,034
Come on, Tom. She's a woman.
375
00:22:56,211 --> 00:22:58,202
- Yeah, I got that.
- You sure?
376
00:22:58,380 --> 00:22:59,938
Dude, she's pushing 30.
377
00:23:00,382 --> 00:23:02,475
You think her idea
of happily ever after...
378
00:23:02,651 --> 00:23:05,950
...is coming home to you
and hanging out after you got laid?
379
00:23:06,121 --> 00:23:08,954
- Makes you think, right?
- Yeah.
380
00:23:19,401 --> 00:23:20,925
- Hello?
- Hey.
381
00:23:21,103 --> 00:23:22,900
- Hi.
- How's the weather in England?
382
00:23:23,505 --> 00:23:26,372
It's great. Only I'm in Scotland.
383
00:23:26,542 --> 00:23:29,534
Oh, right. Right.
384
00:23:29,711 --> 00:23:30,735
So it's sunny.
385
00:23:33,715 --> 00:23:34,909
It's 3 in the morning.
386
00:23:35,083 --> 00:23:37,881
- Oh, right. Sorry. So it's dark.
- Yeah.
387
00:23:38,387 --> 00:23:41,185
Hey, have you seen
the Loch Ness monster yet?
388
00:23:42,057 --> 00:23:43,649
I know, terrible joke. Anyway...
389
00:23:43,825 --> 00:23:45,349
Is there something important?
390
00:23:45,527 --> 00:23:47,392
Yeah, you'll never guess
what happened.
391
00:23:47,563 --> 00:23:49,224
- What?
- They filled in the pothole.
392
00:23:49,398 --> 00:23:52,561
- The pothole?
- On 83rd.
393
00:23:52,734 --> 00:23:54,725
Terrific. Hey, Tom?
394
00:23:54,903 --> 00:23:56,871
- Yeah?
- I'm gonna go back to sleep now.
395
00:23:57,039 --> 00:23:58,165
Oh, okay. Sure.
396
00:23:58,907 --> 00:24:00,534
Love you.
397
00:24:00,976 --> 00:24:03,035
Good night. Call me tomorrow.
398
00:24:13,121 --> 00:24:14,782
This stuff's all old.
399
00:24:14,957 --> 00:24:16,925
Yeah. That's the point.
400
00:24:17,292 --> 00:24:18,350
Let's go to Fendi.
401
00:24:18,527 --> 00:24:19,926
- Fendi? No. No, no.
- Yes.
402
00:24:20,095 --> 00:24:22,359
- We're here. Let's just stay here.
- Yes.
403
00:24:22,531 --> 00:24:24,021
I'm not into old stuff.
404
00:24:24,199 --> 00:24:26,030
Why are you talking
like a six year old?
405
00:24:26,201 --> 00:24:27,429
I'm not.
406
00:24:29,538 --> 00:24:32,996
This line is too long.
Can't we just go somewhere else?
407
00:24:33,175 --> 00:24:35,302
No. This is the best bakery
in the world.
408
00:24:35,477 --> 00:24:37,536
That's why it's worth waiting in line.
409
00:24:37,713 --> 00:24:40,375
Come on, we'll play a game.
Wanna play a game?
410
00:24:40,549 --> 00:24:42,312
- Yeah, we can play a game.
- Okay, good.
411
00:24:43,352 --> 00:24:45,718
- Tell me what to order.
- Why?
412
00:24:45,887 --> 00:24:48,447
You'll see. It'll be fun.
Make a suggestion.
413
00:24:49,992 --> 00:24:52,085
- A cookie.
- No, no, you have to be specific...
414
00:24:52,261 --> 00:24:54,229
...like what type of cookie.
415
00:24:55,998 --> 00:24:58,330
A really big cookie.
416
00:25:06,875 --> 00:25:09,105
Tom, your phone's ringing.
417
00:25:13,382 --> 00:25:14,872
Hello?
418
00:25:15,417 --> 00:25:16,884
Hello?
419
00:25:17,286 --> 00:25:18,913
Nope.
420
00:25:20,022 --> 00:25:22,786
- What's wrong?
- Missed an important call.
421
00:25:22,958 --> 00:25:25,586
That's because
you're an important person.
422
00:25:26,128 --> 00:25:29,894
No. Oh, wait.
Hey, come to mama.
423
00:25:30,065 --> 00:25:32,761
We will have two fried dumplings...
424
00:25:32,934 --> 00:25:36,529
...two of the wontons,
and six of the fried porky thingies.
425
00:25:36,705 --> 00:25:38,468
Yeah, but that's fried.
426
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:39,902
- Come on.
- It's not healthy.
427
00:25:40,075 --> 00:25:42,873
Have some of the fried.
It won't hurt you.
428
00:25:44,479 --> 00:25:46,003
Thank you.
429
00:25:46,381 --> 00:25:48,679
Move, please.
430
00:25:49,017 --> 00:25:51,315
Oh, gosh.
431
00:25:51,687 --> 00:25:53,587
This is unbelievable.
432
00:25:53,755 --> 00:25:55,689
- Hello?
- Hey. Hello?
433
00:25:55,857 --> 00:25:57,119
Hello?
434
00:25:57,292 --> 00:25:59,351
- Hannah?
- Hello?
435
00:25:59,528 --> 00:26:02,725
- Hey.
- Tom? Tom, is that you?
436
00:26:03,231 --> 00:26:05,426
- Tom?
- Hello?
437
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:06,624
Hello?
438
00:26:06,802 --> 00:26:09,327
You're cutting out.
I can't hear anything you've said.
439
00:26:09,504 --> 00:26:14,134
I'm stuck in a thunderstorm.
I'm surrounded with a herd of cows.
440
00:26:14,309 --> 00:26:18,245
- I'll call when I get to the hotel. Tom?
- Hannah, I can't hear you.
441
00:26:31,693 --> 00:26:33,251
Hello?
442
00:26:34,930 --> 00:26:37,262
Hello? Hello?
443
00:26:37,666 --> 00:26:39,293
Hello?
444
00:26:48,343 --> 00:26:50,436
Oh, I hate Scotland.
445
00:27:15,971 --> 00:27:17,905
We're having a hard time.
446
00:27:18,073 --> 00:27:19,472
We're having a hard time.
447
00:27:19,641 --> 00:27:21,939
Oh, yeah? Want a hand?
448
00:27:22,110 --> 00:27:24,101
- Give us a little...
- We'd love it.
449
00:27:24,279 --> 00:27:26,873
- I think you'd better sit down, sir.
- I might fall in.
450
00:27:27,048 --> 00:27:28,811
- Sit down there, sir.
- Sit, sit, sit.
451
00:27:28,984 --> 00:27:30,508
Here we go.
452
00:27:31,153 --> 00:27:32,814
- Don't come in.
- Hang on.
453
00:27:32,988 --> 00:27:34,819
Thank you, thank you.
454
00:27:34,990 --> 00:27:37,220
- Have a good afternoon.
- Have a wonderful day.
455
00:27:51,339 --> 00:27:53,500
- Give it up, baby.
- What do you got, Gar?
456
00:27:53,675 --> 00:27:55,506
- Come on, scrub.
- What you got?
457
00:27:55,677 --> 00:27:57,474
Let's go. What do you got, Gar?
458
00:27:57,646 --> 00:27:59,739
What do you got, Gar?
What do you got?
459
00:28:00,182 --> 00:28:01,513
Come on, Tom. Tom, Tom.
460
00:28:01,683 --> 00:28:02,843
Easy.
461
00:28:03,018 --> 00:28:06,044
Tom, foul. That's a foul, Tom.
What's the matter with you today?
462
00:28:06,221 --> 00:28:09,418
I don't know. I think
I might have feelings for Hannah.
463
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,160
Oh, come on, come on.
Let's just play.
464
00:28:15,564 --> 00:28:19,295
It's just without her,
something's off.
465
00:28:19,468 --> 00:28:21,732
It's got me thinking
that there's more to life...
466
00:28:21,903 --> 00:28:23,632
...than just sleeping around.
467
00:28:25,707 --> 00:28:28,107
- I don't understand.
- I'm not following.
468
00:28:28,276 --> 00:28:31,575
Come on, let's just play.
Come on. I'll take it out.
469
00:28:31,746 --> 00:28:33,941
I know exactly what you mean, Tom.
470
00:28:34,115 --> 00:28:35,776
Thanks. Here you go.
471
00:28:36,685 --> 00:28:38,778
I'm gonna tell Hannah.
When she gets home...
472
00:28:38,954 --> 00:28:40,012
...I'm gonna tell her.
473
00:28:40,188 --> 00:28:42,986
- Nothing about marriage, just together.
- That's romantic.
474
00:28:46,061 --> 00:28:49,553
You have one unheard message.
475
00:28:49,731 --> 00:28:53,189
Hey, Tom, I'm back.
God, I cannot wait to see you.
476
00:28:53,368 --> 00:28:56,735
I don't care what you're doing tonight,
cancel it. We're going to dinner.
477
00:28:56,905 --> 00:28:59,999
Meet me at that new place next
to the small Greek place we hated...
478
00:29:00,175 --> 00:29:03,440
...that used to be the Thai-fusion place
we loved. Meet me there, 8:00.
479
00:29:03,612 --> 00:29:06,080
I have so much to tell you.
480
00:29:21,863 --> 00:29:23,296
All right.
481
00:29:27,636 --> 00:29:28,864
Okay.
482
00:29:31,273 --> 00:29:32,865
Have a good night.
483
00:30:20,922 --> 00:30:22,412
Tom. You okay?
484
00:30:22,591 --> 00:30:26,118
- I'm all right. Are you all right?
- I think I broke a rib.
485
00:30:26,294 --> 00:30:28,854
- Sorry about your flowers.
- His rib. I'm fine. I'm fine.
486
00:30:29,030 --> 00:30:30,520
- Are you okay?
- I'm so sorry.
487
00:30:30,699 --> 00:30:33,099
- I'm sorry, sir. Here are your flowers.
- Oh, but...
488
00:30:33,268 --> 00:30:35,168
- You had flowers?
- They're not my flowers.
489
00:30:35,337 --> 00:30:37,862
- Your flowers. Those are yours.
- I didn't have flowers.
490
00:30:38,039 --> 00:30:40,599
- It's good to see you. It's great.
- I missed you.
491
00:30:40,775 --> 00:30:43,608
- There's someone I want you to meet.
- Oh, good.
492
00:30:44,346 --> 00:30:48,043
It started pouring and suddenly
it was just me in a field of cows.
493
00:30:48,216 --> 00:30:51,617
Of course, we're in Europe. There are
no signs and it's getting dark.
494
00:30:51,786 --> 00:30:54,414
I think she thought she was
in some bad werewolf movie.
495
00:30:54,589 --> 00:30:56,580
"Stay off the moors, lassie."
496
00:30:58,526 --> 00:31:01,427
So anyway,
all of a sudden out of nowhere...
497
00:31:01,596 --> 00:31:03,530
...Colin comes riding up
on horseback...
498
00:31:03,698 --> 00:31:07,134
Can you believe it? A horse.
- and asks me if I need any help.
499
00:31:07,302 --> 00:31:09,634
You were a lady in distress.
What was I gonna do?
500
00:31:09,804 --> 00:31:11,863
It was right out of a Bront� novel.
501
00:31:13,375 --> 00:31:16,572
So anyway, he shows me
to this charming little inn...
502
00:31:16,745 --> 00:31:20,181
...where he proceeds to buy me
the most awful dinner I've ever had.
503
00:31:20,348 --> 00:31:23,840
Right. Okay. Aye. It was pretty bad,
even by Scottish standards.
504
00:31:24,853 --> 00:31:27,378
We spent the next month
traveling around the country...
505
00:31:27,555 --> 00:31:31,889
...getting to know each other,
visiting museums. It was...
506
00:31:32,060 --> 00:31:34,358
- It was perfect.
- It was perfect.
507
00:31:39,567 --> 00:31:41,660
When it was time
for Hannah to leave, I just...
508
00:31:43,138 --> 00:31:45,834
I don't know, I just...
I couldn't let her go.
509
00:31:46,241 --> 00:31:49,836
- So I got down on one knee...
- And he proposed, and I accepted.
510
00:31:50,011 --> 00:31:52,138
Wow, that's just... It's huge, it's...
511
00:31:52,313 --> 00:31:54,042
The wedding's coming
together quickly.
512
00:31:54,215 --> 00:31:55,239
It sounds like it.
513
00:31:55,417 --> 00:31:57,715
We're gonna get married
at Colin's parents' home.
514
00:31:57,886 --> 00:32:00,047
It's gonna be small.
We can't expect people...
515
00:32:00,221 --> 00:32:02,712
...to make the trip overseas
in just a fortnight.
516
00:32:03,391 --> 00:32:04,483
- A fortnight.
- Right.
517
00:32:04,659 --> 00:32:06,524
- That's two weeks.
- It's crazy, isn't it?
518
00:32:06,695 --> 00:32:08,822
- Have you ever been to Scotland?
- I haven't.
519
00:32:08,997 --> 00:32:11,465
You should see the church
where we're exchanging vows.
520
00:32:11,633 --> 00:32:14,124
Same church that Colin's parents
were married in.
521
00:32:14,302 --> 00:32:16,167
It's across the loch
from our distillery.
522
00:32:16,337 --> 00:32:17,827
- Distillery?
- Colin's family...
523
00:32:18,006 --> 00:32:21,032
...owns the largest
whiskey distillery in Scotland.
524
00:32:21,209 --> 00:32:22,574
Tom, look.
525
00:32:22,744 --> 00:32:26,407
If you were getting married
I'd expect to be your best man.
526
00:32:26,581 --> 00:32:31,075
Tom, will you be my maid of honor?
527
00:32:34,122 --> 00:32:35,350
Your maid of honor?
528
00:32:38,393 --> 00:32:40,554
Oh, I'm so sorry.
529
00:32:42,697 --> 00:32:45,257
- Forgive me, I...
- What is it with you, man?
530
00:32:45,633 --> 00:32:48,397
What are you...?
Excuse me. Excuse me.
531
00:32:48,570 --> 00:32:49,764
Did you see that?
532
00:32:52,140 --> 00:32:54,131
Maid of honor.
533
00:32:54,309 --> 00:32:56,641
That's funny stuff. But you're a guy.
534
00:32:56,811 --> 00:32:58,745
- Go ahead, just get it out.
- Oh, my...
535
00:32:58,913 --> 00:33:02,007
So, what did you say?
Did you say yes?
536
00:33:02,183 --> 00:33:04,879
I didn't know what to say.
I told her I'd think about it.
537
00:33:05,053 --> 00:33:07,954
Think about whether that dress
gonna make your ass look big.
538
00:33:08,123 --> 00:33:10,614
- Give me a break. Come on.
- All right, let me think.
539
00:33:10,792 --> 00:33:11,850
She into this guy?
540
00:33:12,026 --> 00:33:15,427
You should have seen her. Staring
at him moony, like he shits unicorns.
541
00:33:15,597 --> 00:33:17,690
That's not good.
You're gonna have to do this.
542
00:33:17,866 --> 00:33:20,596
You're gonna have to be
the maid of honor. I'm serious.
543
00:33:20,769 --> 00:33:24,000
Think about it. This would give you
an excuse to be around Hannah.
544
00:33:24,172 --> 00:33:28,108
Helping her out,
being the man behind the curtain.
545
00:33:28,276 --> 00:33:29,607
You'd be her confidant.
546
00:33:30,111 --> 00:33:33,547
Then you could use that time to point
out to Hannah that this is crazy...
547
00:33:33,715 --> 00:33:35,774
...and that she doesn't
even know this guy.
548
00:33:35,950 --> 00:33:38,817
- I'm not gonna do that. No way. No.
- What? Look.
549
00:33:38,987 --> 00:33:42,013
I don't know
what your other options are.
550
00:33:42,357 --> 00:33:45,258
You got a better chance
of stopping this wedding from inside...
551
00:33:45,426 --> 00:33:47,121
...than from another continent.
552
00:33:47,295 --> 00:33:51,026
And they say that you can shorten this
and wear it again if you like.
553
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,992
Come on, if you're serious
and you really want Hannah back...
554
00:33:55,170 --> 00:33:58,333
...from this guy, you're gonna
have to do whatever it takes.
555
00:33:58,973 --> 00:34:00,338
Whatever.
556
00:34:11,886 --> 00:34:14,878
- Your dress is beautiful.
- Thank you.
557
00:34:15,056 --> 00:34:18,116
I am so happy you're gonna do this.
558
00:34:18,426 --> 00:34:21,827
Pleasure. For this wedding,
I am willing to do whatever it takes.
559
00:34:22,096 --> 00:34:23,529
- I'm so excited.
- Yeah, me too.
560
00:34:23,698 --> 00:34:25,825
So let me tell you who
the bridesmaids are.
561
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,900
- All right. Stephanie.
- I like Stephanie.
562
00:34:28,069 --> 00:34:29,127
- She loves you.
- Good.
563
00:34:29,304 --> 00:34:31,329
- My friend Hilary.
- I don't know Hilary.
564
00:34:31,506 --> 00:34:33,371
- She's the best.
- Okay.
565
00:34:34,142 --> 00:34:35,700
- And Melissa.
- Oh, no.
566
00:34:35,877 --> 00:34:37,902
- I had to. She's my cousin.
- She hates me.
567
00:34:38,079 --> 00:34:40,570
- Well, you broke her heart.
- She broke my nose.
568
00:34:40,748 --> 00:34:43,012
- That was an accident.
- She hit me with her fist.
569
00:34:43,184 --> 00:34:47,416
I was honest with her. I said, "Look,
nothing serious," and she agreed.
570
00:34:47,622 --> 00:34:49,647
Sometimes our hearts
don't match our mouths.
571
00:34:49,824 --> 00:34:51,485
That's good. Put that in the vows.
572
00:34:51,659 --> 00:34:54,127
She's wanted to be my maid of honor
since we were 5...
573
00:34:54,295 --> 00:34:56,160
...so now
she's really gonna hate you.
574
00:34:56,331 --> 00:34:57,423
There they are now.
575
00:34:57,599 --> 00:35:00,762
Okay, well, as your maid of honor,
I promise to keep the peace.
576
00:35:13,915 --> 00:35:16,247
- Oh, hi.
- There she is.
577
00:35:17,085 --> 00:35:19,178
- Hello, good to see you.
- Oh, the bride-to-be.
578
00:35:19,354 --> 00:35:20,378
- I'm Tom.
- I'm Hilary.
579
00:35:20,555 --> 00:35:22,682
Very nice to meet you.
580
00:35:23,224 --> 00:35:26,284
Stephanie, how are you doing?
It's so good to see you too.
581
00:35:26,461 --> 00:35:27,485
Are you kidding me?
582
00:35:27,662 --> 00:35:30,426
Look at you, Melissa.
How have you been?
583
00:35:33,801 --> 00:35:35,564
- That went great.
- This isn't awkward.
584
00:35:35,737 --> 00:35:39,002
It's gonna be fine, it's gonna be fine.
Don't worry. I'm gonna be fine.
585
00:35:45,947 --> 00:35:48,074
So, Tom, have you met Colin yet?
586
00:35:48,249 --> 00:35:50,809
- Yes.
- Isn't he dreamy?
587
00:35:51,686 --> 00:35:53,677
Absolutely.
588
00:35:53,855 --> 00:35:56,050
Could someone please
pass me the Splenda?
589
00:35:57,325 --> 00:36:00,886
Could someone who's not
a misogynist pass the Splenda?
590
00:36:03,932 --> 00:36:05,763
- Hello?
- Thank you, Stephanie.
591
00:36:06,601 --> 00:36:07,795
It's Colin, you guys.
592
00:36:10,138 --> 00:36:12,732
Hi, babe. One sec.
593
00:36:12,907 --> 00:36:14,306
Hi.
594
00:36:14,475 --> 00:36:16,306
They're so cute.
595
00:36:18,713 --> 00:36:21,375
We have nine days before we leave.
We have to act quickly.
596
00:36:21,549 --> 00:36:23,278
Exactly. I've been
a MOH six times...
597
00:36:23,451 --> 00:36:25,385
...so I'll organize everything
to be done.
598
00:36:25,553 --> 00:36:28,317
Even though
I'm not officially the MOH here.
599
00:36:28,489 --> 00:36:30,855
- What is a MOH?
- M-O-H.
600
00:36:31,025 --> 00:36:33,926
- Oh, maid of honor. That's you.
- Oh, that's clever. Yeah.
601
00:36:34,095 --> 00:36:36,359
No, it's going great.
602
00:36:36,531 --> 00:36:38,658
Very smoothly.
603
00:36:38,833 --> 00:36:41,165
So we've got the bridal shower,
the bachelorette...
604
00:36:41,336 --> 00:36:42,860
...dress fittings, the kilt...
605
00:36:43,037 --> 00:36:45,699
- I'll do the kilts.
- Oh, good.
606
00:36:45,873 --> 00:36:48,307
Shopping for Hannah's trousseau.
That's gonna be fun.
607
00:36:48,476 --> 00:36:50,740
Trousseau? What is a trousseau?
608
00:36:50,912 --> 00:36:53,813
It's lingerie. For her wedding night.
609
00:36:53,982 --> 00:36:57,110
How do you expect to be a good MOH
if you don't even know that?
610
00:36:57,285 --> 00:36:59,685
- She's talking to me.
- No, I didn't.
611
00:36:59,854 --> 00:37:03,085
- You just did.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Tom.
612
00:37:03,257 --> 00:37:04,884
Did I break a rule?
613
00:37:05,059 --> 00:37:07,550
Oh, how about we focus
on the wedding part?
614
00:37:07,729 --> 00:37:10,323
- Good idea. Let's do that.
- Okay, I need dress sizes.
615
00:37:10,498 --> 00:37:12,056
- I'm a four.
- Hey.
616
00:37:12,233 --> 00:37:13,894
Eight.
617
00:37:14,135 --> 00:37:15,500
I'm sorry.
618
00:37:17,538 --> 00:37:19,472
You know, Hilary...
619
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:23,838
...do you think that maybe you'd just
be more comfortable in, like, a 12?
620
00:37:24,012 --> 00:37:27,573
No, it'll be fine.
I'm doing the Dr. Riverbed fast.
621
00:37:27,749 --> 00:37:29,649
- Oh, yeah.
- What is that?
622
00:37:30,418 --> 00:37:32,147
Water, peach resin, apple pectin...
623
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,982
...shark extract
and Lawry's seasoning salt.
624
00:37:35,156 --> 00:37:36,418
What about food?
625
00:37:36,591 --> 00:37:39,754
Look, I am going to look amazing
in that dress...
626
00:37:39,927 --> 00:37:44,364
...I am going to meet a Scottish man
and I'm gonna be happy.
627
00:37:44,532 --> 00:37:46,830
- Write down an 8.
- Got it.
628
00:37:47,001 --> 00:37:49,196
What's your dress size,
maid of honor?
629
00:37:49,370 --> 00:37:51,668
I don't know.
What's your jock size, Melissa?
630
00:37:51,839 --> 00:37:53,864
Okay, guys. That's enough.
It's enough.
631
00:37:54,242 --> 00:37:57,336
Sorry. But will you guys
look at Hannah, please?
632
00:37:57,512 --> 00:37:59,002
Okay, she's happy, finally.
633
00:37:59,180 --> 00:38:02,206
So could you please,
for Hannah, let's all just get along...
634
00:38:02,383 --> 00:38:05,944
...hook a smile on our faces
and pretend like everything is perfect.
635
00:38:06,721 --> 00:38:08,689
Okay, fine. Okay.
636
00:38:09,524 --> 00:38:11,719
- Oh, my God. That's great.
- What did he say?
637
00:38:11,893 --> 00:38:14,657
- How's he doing?
- Oh, he's so sweet.
638
00:38:15,363 --> 00:38:17,297
Isn't that great.
639
00:38:17,799 --> 00:38:19,027
How's it going?
640
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:20,758
- Great.
- Good. Really good.
641
00:38:20,935 --> 00:38:22,960
Fantastic. Fantastic.
642
00:38:23,137 --> 00:38:25,435
- I mean, it is pretty much done.
- Perfect. Really?
643
00:38:26,274 --> 00:38:28,105
- Tom?
- Yes.
644
00:38:28,276 --> 00:38:30,176
- Here.
- What is this?
645
00:38:30,344 --> 00:38:32,005
She does
bridal-shower entertainment.
646
00:38:32,180 --> 00:38:34,978
I hired her for Stephanie's sister's
shower. Hannah loved it.
647
00:38:35,149 --> 00:38:37,583
- She reads tarot cards.
- That's great. Thank you.
648
00:38:37,752 --> 00:38:40,118
I'm not doing it for you,
I'm doing it for Hannah.
649
00:38:40,288 --> 00:38:43,314
Okay. Thank you. For Hannah.
650
00:38:43,491 --> 00:38:44,583
It should've been me.
651
00:38:44,759 --> 00:38:46,989
- I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye, Tom.
- Goodbye.
652
00:38:47,161 --> 00:38:49,254
- Bye, Hilary.
- See you. Nice meeting you.
653
00:38:49,430 --> 00:38:52,126
I just had a very nice
bonding moment with Melissa.
654
00:38:52,300 --> 00:38:53,767
- Can I ask you a favor?
- Sure.
655
00:38:53,935 --> 00:38:56,802
My mother and grandmother
are coming into town tomorrow...
656
00:38:56,971 --> 00:38:58,370
...and I have so much to plan.
657
00:38:58,539 --> 00:39:01,804
I was wondering if you and your boys
could entertain Colin for the day.
658
00:39:01,976 --> 00:39:04,035
- Entertain him?
- Get to know him and stuff.
659
00:39:04,212 --> 00:39:05,770
- Sure. Yeah.
- Cool.
660
00:39:06,848 --> 00:39:10,807
So are you more proud of Scotch tape
or McDonald's?
661
00:39:11,385 --> 00:39:13,216
I think they're both American.
662
00:39:13,387 --> 00:39:15,355
You invited this guy
to play ball with us?
663
00:39:15,523 --> 00:39:16,547
He's the competition.
664
00:39:16,724 --> 00:39:19,056
I need to get to know
his strengths and weaknesses.
665
00:39:19,227 --> 00:39:22,526
I like his green shirt.
Is that like a poly blend kind of thing?
666
00:39:22,697 --> 00:39:24,358
- It's my shirt.
- It's your shirt?
667
00:39:24,532 --> 00:39:26,500
- Yeah. Looks good on him.
- Looks real good.
668
00:39:26,667 --> 00:39:28,464
Why don't you play with him?
669
00:39:28,903 --> 00:39:30,200
Thanks.
670
00:39:30,371 --> 00:39:32,134
Colin,
you ever play basketball before?
671
00:39:32,306 --> 00:39:34,297
We would call this netball.
672
00:39:34,475 --> 00:39:36,306
In Scotland it's more
of a woman's game.
673
00:39:36,477 --> 00:39:38,445
So no,
I don't have much experience.
674
00:39:38,613 --> 00:39:41,548
- I do. You need one more?
- We're good.
675
00:39:42,483 --> 00:39:43,814
All right.
676
00:39:44,452 --> 00:39:46,977
- All right, girls. You ready?
- Yeah. I am.
677
00:39:47,388 --> 00:39:49,788
- Gotta use your hands there.
- You all right there?
678
00:39:51,859 --> 00:39:53,690
- I'm open, I'm open.
- There we go.
679
00:39:53,861 --> 00:39:57,729
You gotta hold on to the ball, man.
You hold on to the ball.
680
00:39:58,099 --> 00:39:59,464
Almost.
681
00:40:01,169 --> 00:40:03,160
You should get some Scottish girls
out here.
682
00:40:03,337 --> 00:40:06,067
No, you want to start again
because you didn't get that.
683
00:40:07,141 --> 00:40:09,268
There you go. That was good.
Here you go.
684
00:40:09,443 --> 00:40:11,877
What do you got? Shoot that. Nice.
685
00:40:14,015 --> 00:40:16,040
- I like it like that.
- Sorry, guys.
686
00:40:16,217 --> 00:40:17,946
Get on him.
687
00:40:18,586 --> 00:40:22,579
Lay-up.
Get in there, ball. You okay?
688
00:40:23,357 --> 00:40:25,450
Okay, back to you.
Put it in the basket.
689
00:40:25,626 --> 00:40:27,059
Put it in the basket.
690
00:40:27,762 --> 00:40:30,492
You know what I'm loving?
The guy's a chump.
691
00:40:31,999 --> 00:40:33,899
- There it is.
- Arms up, baby. That's good.
692
00:40:34,068 --> 00:40:35,831
That's it, that's it.
We got it now.
693
00:40:36,003 --> 00:40:37,197
Hey, I look good, don't I?
694
00:40:37,838 --> 00:40:39,965
Here we go. Here we go now.
695
00:40:40,141 --> 00:40:41,165
Yo!
696
00:40:41,342 --> 00:40:42,741
Just put it in the basket.
697
00:40:43,578 --> 00:40:45,045
- Go ahead.
- Put it in the basket.
698
00:40:45,213 --> 00:40:47,044
Hey, take a shot.
699
00:40:51,519 --> 00:40:53,282
- Sorry, guys, huh?
- Did you see that?
700
00:40:53,454 --> 00:40:55,513
Probably not allowed
to stuff it in the net.
701
00:40:55,690 --> 00:40:57,214
- He dunks the ball.
- Sorry, sorry.
702
00:40:57,391 --> 00:40:59,484
He dunks the ball.
703
00:40:59,660 --> 00:41:01,457
That was awesome. You can dunk.
704
00:41:01,629 --> 00:41:03,563
He can dunk. That is awesome.
705
00:41:03,731 --> 00:41:06,199
Wait, if that's allowed,
why don't you guys all do it?
706
00:41:06,367 --> 00:41:08,927
Yeah, if we could, we would. Right?
707
00:41:09,103 --> 00:41:10,730
Nice!
708
00:41:32,126 --> 00:41:33,150
Yes!
709
00:41:33,327 --> 00:41:36,455
- Good game, yeah. Good game.
- My brother.
710
00:41:36,631 --> 00:41:38,826
He's gonna be
more competition than you thought.
711
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,729
- I know, I know.
- I love this guy.
712
00:41:56,651 --> 00:41:58,209
Shit.
713
00:41:59,287 --> 00:42:00,413
- You all right?
- Yeah.
714
00:42:00,588 --> 00:42:02,146
Hey.
715
00:42:02,323 --> 00:42:06,225
- Holy...
- That boy's got mad-cow disease.
716
00:42:08,062 --> 00:42:09,529
We gotta get dirt on this guy.
717
00:42:09,697 --> 00:42:12,393
I got a guy I use when
a spouse suspects infidelity.
718
00:42:12,566 --> 00:42:14,466
Everybody's got skeletons
in their closet.
719
00:42:14,635 --> 00:42:16,933
Nobody's squeaky clean
and my guy is the best.
720
00:42:17,104 --> 00:42:18,162
It just seems so cheap.
721
00:42:18,339 --> 00:42:20,739
It won't be.
I'll charge double because you're rich.
722
00:42:20,908 --> 00:42:22,876
- It's a cheap thing to do.
- He plays cheap.
723
00:42:23,044 --> 00:42:25,308
- You gotta match that.
- How does Colin play cheap?
724
00:42:25,479 --> 00:42:27,379
That thing with Hannah,
being Scottish...
725
00:42:27,548 --> 00:42:29,379
...making her fall in love
in Scotland.
726
00:42:29,550 --> 00:42:32,417
That monster thing of his.
727
00:42:33,154 --> 00:42:35,622
Fine. Get the dirt.
728
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:40,184
That's cool.
729
00:42:42,730 --> 00:42:44,721
The white zone
is for immediate loading...
730
00:42:44,899 --> 00:42:47,424
...and unloading of passengers only.
731
00:42:47,601 --> 00:42:49,694
No parking.
732
00:42:53,641 --> 00:42:55,700
What's he gonna do, eat her?
733
00:42:56,777 --> 00:42:58,210
Come on, come on, come on.
734
00:42:58,379 --> 00:43:01,007
Okay, take a breath,
take a breath, take a...
735
00:43:06,087 --> 00:43:07,714
Thanks, Tom.
736
00:43:08,155 --> 00:43:10,055
Yeah, have a great flight.
737
00:43:10,224 --> 00:43:12,089
Bye. Thanks, mate.
738
00:43:13,594 --> 00:43:14,822
Come on.
739
00:43:19,633 --> 00:43:21,328
- I love you, Colin.
- Bye.
740
00:43:21,502 --> 00:43:23,163
Bye.
741
00:43:26,874 --> 00:43:28,535
Yeah.
742
00:43:29,143 --> 00:43:30,906
Oh, God.
743
00:43:31,612 --> 00:43:33,842
- Need some ChapStick?
- Yeah.
744
00:43:34,014 --> 00:43:36,312
So, what church are we going to?
745
00:43:36,484 --> 00:43:37,746
Grace Church.
746
00:43:47,328 --> 00:43:49,694
Thank you for coming with me
to meet the reverend.
747
00:43:49,864 --> 00:43:52,162
- Oh, it's no problem.
- He is the sweetest man.
748
00:43:52,333 --> 00:43:53,357
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
749
00:43:53,534 --> 00:43:56,992
He married my parents and insisted on
coming to Scotland to do my wedding.
750
00:43:57,171 --> 00:43:59,139
Why didn't Colin
stay and do this with you?
751
00:43:59,306 --> 00:44:01,831
It was more important for him
to go back to Scotland...
752
00:44:02,009 --> 00:44:05,069
...to petition the Grand Council
so Colin and I could get married.
753
00:44:05,246 --> 00:44:06,838
What's a Gran... What's that mean?
754
00:44:07,014 --> 00:44:10,006
I'm not Scottish, and his family
is kind of like, you know.
755
00:44:10,184 --> 00:44:12,948
- What?
- Royalty.
756
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:14,712
Royalty?
757
00:44:14,889 --> 00:44:19,223
- Royalty? What is he, like a king?
- No, no. He's a duke.
758
00:44:22,029 --> 00:44:23,963
A duke?
759
00:44:29,437 --> 00:44:32,201
- Hannah, darling.
- Reverend Foote.
760
00:44:33,340 --> 00:44:36,969
And this must be the lucky young man
who's marrying our beautiful Hannah.
761
00:44:37,144 --> 00:44:39,442
- Oh, no. I'm not marrying him.
- No.
762
00:44:39,613 --> 00:44:42,776
This is Tom, my maid of honor.
763
00:44:43,350 --> 00:44:45,341
- Maid of honor?
- Yes.
764
00:44:45,519 --> 00:44:47,043
Well, how about that?
765
00:44:47,221 --> 00:44:51,055
We have many gay and lesbian
members of the congregation.
766
00:44:51,559 --> 00:44:53,117
Welcome.
767
00:45:02,269 --> 00:45:04,897
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Reverend.
768
00:45:10,010 --> 00:45:13,070
- So let's talk about the wedding.
- Okay.
769
00:45:13,247 --> 00:45:16,045
I need to get some details
about you and...
770
00:45:16,217 --> 00:45:18,310
- Colin.
- Colin. Colin, yes.
771
00:45:18,486 --> 00:45:21,216
- I want to work it into the ceremony.
- Okay.
772
00:45:21,388 --> 00:45:24,721
- Well, it was such a whirlwind, really.
- Yes, well, enlighten me.
773
00:45:24,892 --> 00:45:26,553
Tell me about it.
774
00:45:28,662 --> 00:45:30,254
Hannah, darling.
775
00:45:30,998 --> 00:45:33,899
Hannah, I think it's important
to dig deep here for the vows...
776
00:45:34,068 --> 00:45:36,696
...and tell Reverend Foote
all that you know about Colin.
777
00:45:36,871 --> 00:45:39,533
All that you love about him.
Not just the obvious stuff...
778
00:45:39,707 --> 00:45:42,403
...but those unique characteristics
that are Colin.
779
00:45:42,576 --> 00:45:45,374
Those things
that make you laugh and say:
780
00:45:47,214 --> 00:45:49,114
"That's so Colin."
781
00:45:51,285 --> 00:45:52,377
Right.
782
00:45:52,553 --> 00:45:56,045
And then, you know, maybe you could
get some information from Colin...
783
00:45:56,223 --> 00:46:00,387
...and emphasize their unique bond.
Their shared history.
784
00:46:00,561 --> 00:46:02,028
Of course.
785
00:46:03,163 --> 00:46:05,097
We could talk about
love at first sight.
786
00:46:05,266 --> 00:46:08,463
Well, that's always a crowd pleaser,
but...
787
00:46:08,636 --> 00:46:11,366
Hannah, elaborate.
Tell me more about him.
788
00:46:11,539 --> 00:46:13,530
How you feel about him.
789
00:46:20,180 --> 00:46:22,045
- Where did you meet?
- In Scotland.
790
00:46:22,216 --> 00:46:24,013
Modigliani.
791
00:46:24,552 --> 00:46:26,019
Your first summer in New York...
792
00:46:26,186 --> 00:46:28,950
...you were dating a guy
and he asked you to move in.
793
00:46:29,123 --> 00:46:32,422
You weren't sure. That was around
the time you discovered Modigliani...
794
00:46:32,593 --> 00:46:34,561
...and became obsessed
with his painting...
795
00:46:34,728 --> 00:46:37,720
...of this woman who had
a blue scarf on, holding a baby.
796
00:46:37,898 --> 00:46:40,890
Hannah said, "That painting captured
the essence of that woman...
797
00:46:41,068 --> 00:46:44,333
- ...better than any photograph."
- I can't believe you remember that.
798
00:46:44,505 --> 00:46:48,100
I remember she freaked. She felt
more passionate about that painting...
799
00:46:48,275 --> 00:46:50,334
...than about Mr. Wall Street.
800
00:46:50,511 --> 00:46:52,411
She wondered if she could
meet somebody...
801
00:46:52,580 --> 00:46:55,811
...that could make her feel
as passionate as that work of art.
802
00:46:55,983 --> 00:46:59,384
That's good. That's good.
803
00:46:59,553 --> 00:47:01,248
Modigliani.
804
00:47:01,422 --> 00:47:04,653
Now I know why you picked him
to be maid of honor. Yes.
805
00:47:04,825 --> 00:47:06,292
Well...
806
00:47:08,495 --> 00:47:11,760
Come on. Who's ready to lose some
money tonight? I'm feeling lucky.
807
00:47:11,932 --> 00:47:13,456
You guys are late. How you doing?
808
00:47:13,634 --> 00:47:16,398
- How you holding up, champ?
- I'm stressed.
809
00:47:16,570 --> 00:47:19,130
- Hannah's shower's in the morning.
- Where we gonna play?
810
00:47:19,306 --> 00:47:22,537
We're not gonna play till these baskets
and everything else gets done.
811
00:47:22,710 --> 00:47:25,372
- What about this party mix?
- That's potpourri.
812
00:47:25,546 --> 00:47:28,106
Oh, this is perfect.
Come on, Felix, take it off.
813
00:47:28,282 --> 00:47:30,842
Deb has one of these.
It's funny, you can't see a thing.
814
00:47:31,018 --> 00:47:33,953
- She'd have to, to sleep with you.
- You could be, like, blinded.
815
00:47:34,121 --> 00:47:36,783
No, I'm not playing with baskets.
It's poker night.
816
00:47:40,394 --> 00:47:42,794
- You put bayberry with serenity.
- You no like?
817
00:47:42,963 --> 00:47:46,091
No, I thought it was obvious that
bayberry worked best with harmony.
818
00:47:46,266 --> 00:47:50,464
Really? I've been putting bayberry
with Tahitian Sunrise.
819
00:47:50,971 --> 00:47:53,496
- That, I like. That's Zen.
- Yeah. You know what I like?
820
00:47:53,674 --> 00:47:55,972
I like how you put the bath ball
in the center.
821
00:47:56,143 --> 00:47:59,635
I like that so much, I'm gonna see
your ball and raise you another ball.
822
00:47:59,813 --> 00:48:01,610
Good idea.
You should have two balls.
823
00:48:01,782 --> 00:48:03,511
- Get you another ball.
- Hey, Dennis...
824
00:48:03,684 --> 00:48:05,413
...come and curl some ribbon.
825
00:48:05,586 --> 00:48:08,851
I can feel my sperm dying inside of me
one at a time.
826
00:48:09,023 --> 00:48:11,082
Shut up and grab a basket.
Come on, it's fun.
827
00:48:11,258 --> 00:48:13,226
I'm going to a strip club
to eat some meat.
828
00:48:13,394 --> 00:48:15,225
Then I'm gonna get into a fight.
829
00:48:15,663 --> 00:48:17,460
Call me when you find your balls,
Tom.
830
00:48:17,631 --> 00:48:18,723
All right, tough guy.
831
00:48:18,899 --> 00:48:22,460
Or maybe they're in the basket
next to the Tahitian Sunrise.
832
00:48:23,337 --> 00:48:25,396
Someone's afraid
of his feminine side.
833
00:48:25,939 --> 00:48:28,931
Look at that... Oh, nice job
with the fluffing. Look at that, huh?
834
00:48:29,109 --> 00:48:31,236
You tjuzsed it,
and it's been tjuzsed, and...
835
00:48:31,412 --> 00:48:32,470
- Look at us.
- Come on.
836
00:48:32,646 --> 00:48:34,170
- Nice work, huh?
- You can't lose.
837
00:48:36,817 --> 00:48:40,446
Oh, shit.
Hello, ladies. You look lovely today.
838
00:48:41,288 --> 00:48:42,778
- Tom.
- Hilary, how are you?
839
00:48:42,956 --> 00:48:46,858
Good. Everything looks wonderful.
This is the best shower I've been to.
840
00:48:47,027 --> 00:48:49,086
Really, you think so?
You know what, Hilary?
841
00:48:49,263 --> 00:48:53,529
- You should really eat something.
- No. Tom, I'm fine.
842
00:48:56,870 --> 00:48:58,770
I'm fine. I'm okay.
843
00:48:58,939 --> 00:49:01,533
What you ladies go through
to fit into a dress.
844
00:49:01,709 --> 00:49:05,440
This blows your rule out of the water
about no women allowed at your place.
845
00:49:05,612 --> 00:49:07,477
What good's a rule
if you don't break it?
846
00:49:07,648 --> 00:49:10,208
I'm very, very impressed.
Thank you...
847
00:49:10,384 --> 00:49:13,842
Listen to that.
Gay Gordons party remix, just for you.
848
00:49:17,224 --> 00:49:19,124
Hear the horn? Hear the horn?
849
00:49:19,293 --> 00:49:22,353
It's good, isn't it? Wait, let me
turn it up for you. There it is.
850
00:49:22,529 --> 00:49:23,928
- It's a little loud.
- What?
851
00:49:24,098 --> 00:49:26,965
- It's a little loud!
- Okay. I'll turn it down. There you go.
852
00:49:27,134 --> 00:49:28,829
Look at this. Try this.
Haggis Pink.
853
00:49:29,002 --> 00:49:34,998
It's pepper, cheese, chopped up baby
lamb lung, and cow pituitary gland.
854
00:49:35,375 --> 00:49:38,139
It's a Scottish delicacy.
Colin recommended it.
855
00:49:40,981 --> 00:49:44,439
Ladies. Ladies.
Look what just came for Hannah.
856
00:49:46,754 --> 00:49:48,381
It's from Colin, everyone.
857
00:49:50,524 --> 00:49:52,958
Wait, there's a card.
There's a card. There's a card.
858
00:49:53,127 --> 00:49:54,890
It says "Hannah."
859
00:49:55,496 --> 00:49:57,964
"Hannah, my love,
this is the extremely rare...
860
00:49:58,132 --> 00:50:00,123
...Scottish, floral, bud thistle."
861
00:50:00,300 --> 00:50:01,324
Thistle?
862
00:50:01,502 --> 00:50:04,403
"They only bloom for four hours
before they die."
863
00:50:04,571 --> 00:50:07,631
He must have timed this out
perfectly.
864
00:50:07,808 --> 00:50:09,901
Oh, my gosh. When we first met,
Colin joked...
865
00:50:10,077 --> 00:50:13,604
...that he would roam the countryside
to find me one, and he did.
866
00:50:14,414 --> 00:50:18,077
Sweetheart, that's the most
romantic thing I've ever heard.
867
00:50:18,252 --> 00:50:19,514
Thanks, Mom.
868
00:50:19,686 --> 00:50:21,586
Joan, good to see you.
It's been too long.
869
00:50:21,755 --> 00:50:23,518
I think, Easter, wasn't it?
870
00:50:23,690 --> 00:50:26,158
Yes. You slept with our maid.
871
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:28,887
She told you?
I didn't know she spoke English.
872
00:50:29,062 --> 00:50:30,086
Yes, hi.
873
00:50:30,264 --> 00:50:32,095
This is Grandma Pearl.
You remember Tom.
874
00:50:32,266 --> 00:50:35,861
- How are you?
- Oh, yes. The fornicator.
875
00:50:37,337 --> 00:50:38,998
That's right.
876
00:50:39,306 --> 00:50:41,968
- Okay.
- Tom, this is awesome.
877
00:50:42,142 --> 00:50:43,939
- It's great.
- Good, thank you.
878
00:50:44,111 --> 00:50:46,170
This is even better
than my sister's shower.
879
00:50:46,346 --> 00:50:48,314
Really?
It appears to be going well. Yes?
880
00:50:48,482 --> 00:50:50,918
- Sharon would like to set up.
- Who?
881
00:50:51,451 --> 00:50:53,510
- The entertainment.
- Yes.
882
00:50:53,687 --> 00:50:56,884
Thank God... I mean, good.
She should set up over there.
883
00:50:57,057 --> 00:51:01,187
Hello, everybody. Hi, I'm Sharon.
Good to see you all.
884
00:51:01,361 --> 00:51:03,454
Yeah, come on, right down front.
885
00:51:03,730 --> 00:51:05,527
This was my idea, you know.
886
00:51:05,699 --> 00:51:08,224
I know you loved her
from Stephanie's sister's shower...
887
00:51:08,402 --> 00:51:10,734
I'd like for us all
to take in a deep breath.
888
00:51:10,904 --> 00:51:12,804
She wasn't at the shower.
889
00:51:13,140 --> 00:51:14,266
- She wasn't?
- No.
890
00:51:14,441 --> 00:51:16,170
- And now exhale slowly.
- Really?
891
00:51:16,343 --> 00:51:18,038
Good job. Good job.
892
00:51:18,212 --> 00:51:20,510
It's very important to reset
our third eye...
893
00:51:20,681 --> 00:51:24,117
...and connect to the primal... inside
of ourselves...
894
00:51:24,651 --> 00:51:26,414
...before I present the pleasure aids.
895
00:51:27,221 --> 00:51:29,587
- Pleasure aids?
- Now...
896
00:51:29,756 --> 00:51:34,819
...these pleasure aids are best used
when in a tantric, meditative state.
897
00:51:34,995 --> 00:51:37,020
And today,
I'm going to show you ladies...
898
00:51:37,197 --> 00:51:40,257
...how to reach your optimal,
sacral chakra.
899
00:51:40,434 --> 00:51:43,028
All of these aids are for sale, ladies.
900
00:51:43,203 --> 00:51:47,264
And... Oh, look what we have here.
We have edible panties.
901
00:51:47,441 --> 00:51:51,241
You look hungry. Here,
snack on these. There you go.
902
00:51:51,411 --> 00:51:55,313
Now, ladies, what pleasure party
would be complete without...
903
00:51:55,482 --> 00:51:57,507
...glow-in-the-dark thunder beads.
904
00:51:57,818 --> 00:52:01,254
These are terrific.
And for you ladies today, two for one.
905
00:52:01,421 --> 00:52:03,446
Okay? There you go.
906
00:52:03,624 --> 00:52:05,683
Do you wanna try those out,
princess?
907
00:52:06,093 --> 00:52:08,254
Where do these go?
908
00:52:10,864 --> 00:52:14,630
From casual right into evening wear.
Gorgeous.
909
00:52:14,801 --> 00:52:17,292
You know what,
why don't you keep those.
910
00:52:17,671 --> 00:52:19,935
Oh, and they match your earrings.
911
00:52:31,018 --> 00:52:32,713
Hannah, you okay?
912
00:52:34,888 --> 00:52:36,856
You know I dreamt
of my wedding shower...
913
00:52:37,024 --> 00:52:39,424
...ever since I was 10 years old?
- No.
914
00:52:39,593 --> 00:52:41,857
Strangely enough,
the image of my Grandma Pearl...
915
00:52:42,029 --> 00:52:45,965
...draped in glow-in-the-dark thunder
beads, wasn't part of it. It's not funny.
916
00:52:47,668 --> 00:52:50,762
Do you have any idea
how important this is to me?
917
00:52:51,371 --> 00:52:54,966
And the Gay Gordons, pink haggis,
dildo saleswoman?
918
00:52:55,142 --> 00:52:57,440
Just understand something,
that Melissa set me up.
919
00:52:57,611 --> 00:53:01,069
Oh, please.
There's always an excuse with you.
920
00:53:01,515 --> 00:53:04,177
I never should've asked you
to do this in the first place.
921
00:53:04,351 --> 00:53:06,114
You don't even believe in marriage.
922
00:53:06,286 --> 00:53:08,015
You know, I might.
923
00:53:11,024 --> 00:53:12,753
I gotta get back.
924
00:53:26,006 --> 00:53:27,268
Melissa's pretty good.
925
00:53:27,441 --> 00:53:30,638
Look, the whole goal here was to
convince Hannah that I'd grown up...
926
00:53:30,811 --> 00:53:33,371
...that she doesn't know anything
about Colin...
927
00:53:33,547 --> 00:53:35,708
...that I'm the right man for her.
928
00:53:36,283 --> 00:53:37,841
That did not happen.
929
00:53:38,885 --> 00:53:42,412
Stella. No. No, baby,
don't eat buttons, okay?
930
00:53:42,589 --> 00:53:45,023
Yeah, but you're still
the maid of honor, right, Tom?
931
00:53:45,192 --> 00:53:46,716
I think she might have fired me.
932
00:53:46,893 --> 00:53:49,225
How does somebody get fired
from being maid of honor?
933
00:53:49,396 --> 00:53:50,420
Tell me about it.
934
00:53:50,597 --> 00:53:52,792
- You know what? I got an idea.
- Okay.
935
00:53:52,966 --> 00:53:54,763
To prove
you're the only man for her...
936
00:53:54,935 --> 00:53:57,028
...we have to make you
the best maid of honor.
937
00:53:57,204 --> 00:53:58,432
Right.
938
00:53:58,605 --> 00:54:02,041
I'm at a loss, completely stunned.
My guy couldn't find any dirt on Colin.
939
00:54:02,209 --> 00:54:04,109
This has never happened.
This guy's clean.
940
00:54:04,277 --> 00:54:07,144
- I'm glad it happened to me.
- He's got three Guinness Records?
941
00:54:07,314 --> 00:54:10,181
- Cool. For what?
- He's actually got a Medal of Honor.
942
00:54:10,484 --> 00:54:14,147
Hey, that's pretty funny because
we got the maid of honor right here.
943
00:54:15,789 --> 00:54:17,256
All right, let's stay focused.
944
00:54:17,424 --> 00:54:19,756
The point is,
we're not gonna get her off this guy.
945
00:54:19,926 --> 00:54:21,757
So we need to not make this
about Colin.
946
00:54:21,928 --> 00:54:23,862
- We need to make it about you.
- Good.
947
00:54:24,031 --> 00:54:26,499
Show her that you're growing up,
that you're changing.
948
00:54:26,666 --> 00:54:28,224
I am changing. I'm growing up.
949
00:54:28,402 --> 00:54:30,666
- Then this should be easy for you.
- Okay, great.
950
00:54:30,837 --> 00:54:34,102
These are bridal magazines
from 18 different countries...
951
00:54:34,274 --> 00:54:36,936
...each with a feature article
on being a maid of honor.
952
00:54:37,110 --> 00:54:38,668
Perfect. �ber Bride.
953
00:54:38,845 --> 00:54:41,439
Now, I got these guys in Bangalore
that we outsource to.
954
00:54:41,615 --> 00:54:43,879
They translated them overnight
for you.
955
00:54:44,051 --> 00:54:46,542
Nice appetizer there, Gary.
Here's the main course.
956
00:54:46,720 --> 00:54:49,985
- What do you got for me? Bring it on.
- Deb, is an A-type personality.
957
00:54:50,157 --> 00:54:52,022
- She has to do everything perfect.
- Sure.
958
00:54:52,192 --> 00:54:53,591
Love her. Hate that about her.
959
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,661
She rented this when
she was gonna be the maid of honor...
960
00:54:56,830 --> 00:54:59,128
...for her yoga teacher.
This is the goods.
961
00:54:59,299 --> 00:55:00,700
- Good, let's look at this.
- You're gonna be wowed.
962
00:55:00,735 --> 00:55:01,667
- Good, let's look at this.
- You're gonna be wowed.
963
00:55:09,976 --> 00:55:11,443
Hi, I'm Elisabeth Hasselbeck...
964
00:55:11,611 --> 00:55:14,102
...and I'm so thrilled
you purchased this program.
965
00:55:14,281 --> 00:55:17,182
And I'm proud of you because
it shows that you're not happy...
966
00:55:17,350 --> 00:55:19,716
...being just an ordinary friend
and loved one.
967
00:55:19,886 --> 00:55:21,854
No, you and I
are going to work together...
968
00:55:22,022 --> 00:55:24,786
...to make you
the perfect maid of honor.
969
00:55:24,958 --> 00:55:27,449
When we're through, you'll know
everything there is...
970
00:55:27,627 --> 00:55:31,654
...about dresses, crockery, nuptial
etiquette, and pleasing your bride.
971
00:55:32,065 --> 00:55:34,124
What's the length
of the bridesmaid's dress?
972
00:55:34,301 --> 00:55:35,791
Can't be longer than bride's.
973
00:55:35,969 --> 00:55:37,834
What if someone
won't be able to attend?
974
00:55:38,004 --> 00:55:41,770
- You gotta send an invitation anyway.
- Receiving line?
975
00:55:41,942 --> 00:55:43,842
Receiving line?
976
00:55:44,010 --> 00:55:46,945
A receiving line means I've failed
because Hannah's married.
977
00:55:47,114 --> 00:55:48,638
It was a trick question.
978
00:55:48,815 --> 00:55:50,806
Who was
the runner-up MVP, 1974?
979
00:55:50,984 --> 00:55:52,542
These questions all have to do...
980
00:55:52,719 --> 00:55:55,279
...with Tom being
the best maid of honor he can be.
981
00:55:56,022 --> 00:55:58,422
I thought we were just asking,
like, questions.
982
00:55:59,226 --> 00:56:00,591
Go sit down.
983
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,387
Basic duties
of the maid of honor?
984
00:56:02,562 --> 00:56:05,429
Manage the bridesmaids,
hold the ring, support the bride.
985
00:56:05,599 --> 00:56:07,863
Basic duties as you
as the maid of honor?
986
00:56:08,034 --> 00:56:11,265
Show that I've matured, that I can
take care of my responsibilities...
987
00:56:11,438 --> 00:56:13,429
...and that I need to destroy
from within.
988
00:56:13,607 --> 00:56:16,337
- What happens if you fail at that task?
- Colin gets her.
989
00:56:16,610 --> 00:56:18,771
What are we gonna do?
Steal the bride.
990
00:56:18,945 --> 00:56:20,674
What are we gonna do?
Steal the bride.
991
00:56:20,847 --> 00:56:23,281
- What are we gonna do?
- Steal the bride!
992
00:56:23,450 --> 00:56:25,475
Steal the bride!
993
00:56:25,652 --> 00:56:28,212
Remember, whether it's helping
with the seating chart...
994
00:56:28,388 --> 00:56:30,356
...or giving an opinion on the cake...
995
00:56:30,524 --> 00:56:32,788
...the perfect made of honor
is with her bride...
996
00:56:32,959 --> 00:56:34,790
...every step of the way.
997
00:56:34,961 --> 00:56:37,327
You didn't have to clear
your day to do all this.
998
00:56:37,497 --> 00:56:39,021
Are you kidding? Of course I did.
999
00:56:39,199 --> 00:56:42,259
The perfect maid of honor
is with his bride every step of the way.
1000
00:56:42,435 --> 00:56:44,027
A changed man.
1001
00:56:44,204 --> 00:56:45,933
I am, indeed.
1002
00:56:46,439 --> 00:56:49,840
- I don't even know where to begin.
- When choosing your china patterns...
1003
00:56:50,010 --> 00:56:52,035
...you need to think
about entertaining...
1004
00:56:52,212 --> 00:56:54,180
...what sort of foods
you wanna cook.
1005
00:56:56,850 --> 00:57:00,547
Here, look.
Now, don't be afraid to mix and match.
1006
00:57:00,720 --> 00:57:03,416
It's important,
even with different styles and textures.
1007
00:57:03,590 --> 00:57:05,854
What you wanna do
is stir up the table.
1008
00:57:06,026 --> 00:57:08,551
Make it come alive
with color and finesse.
1009
00:57:08,728 --> 00:57:10,320
That is the goal.
1010
00:57:10,497 --> 00:57:13,057
All so, at the end of the day,
you will find...
1011
00:57:15,402 --> 00:57:16,926
...connections.
1012
00:57:18,004 --> 00:57:19,096
Thank you very much.
1013
00:57:21,107 --> 00:57:24,907
Let's go. If you think I'm good
with plates, wait till you see linens.
1014
00:57:25,078 --> 00:57:27,046
- Lingerie, perfect.
- What about the linens?
1015
00:57:27,214 --> 00:57:29,114
Help pick something
for the wedding night.
1016
00:57:29,282 --> 00:57:30,749
- No.
- Are you crazy?
1017
00:57:30,917 --> 00:57:32,680
You're the perfect person
for this job.
1018
00:57:32,852 --> 00:57:35,286
Who's taken off more lingerie
than you?
1019
00:57:35,889 --> 00:57:38,187
Let's put your whoring to good use.
1020
00:57:39,226 --> 00:57:40,716
Good point.
1021
00:57:43,563 --> 00:57:45,827
So how did it go
with the Scottish Grand Council?
1022
00:57:45,999 --> 00:57:49,230
Great.
Colin got them to approve everything.
1023
00:57:49,402 --> 00:57:50,869
Great.
1024
00:57:52,839 --> 00:57:55,399
So I gotta tell you,
I know this is gonna sound funny...
1025
00:57:55,575 --> 00:57:58,305
...but I have to thank you.
1026
00:57:58,478 --> 00:57:59,740
For what?
1027
00:57:59,913 --> 00:58:02,677
Well, for asking me
to be your maid of honor.
1028
00:58:02,849 --> 00:58:06,080
Yeah.
I know this is gonna sound crazy...
1029
00:58:06,253 --> 00:58:10,519
...but you've really opened my eyes
to the whole idea of marriage.
1030
00:58:10,690 --> 00:58:13,181
- Right.
- No, seriously.
1031
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:16,121
Have you met someone, Tom?
1032
00:58:16,296 --> 00:58:20,164
- No.
- Well, then how can you be serious?
1033
00:58:20,867 --> 00:58:22,664
I don't know. I just...
1034
00:58:28,375 --> 00:58:30,002
I don't know.
1035
00:58:48,328 --> 00:58:51,354
What do you think?
You think Colin will like it?
1036
00:58:54,267 --> 00:58:57,259
No. No.
1037
00:58:57,437 --> 00:58:59,405
- It's just...
- What?
1038
00:59:00,607 --> 00:59:02,165
It's cute.
1039
00:59:02,342 --> 00:59:05,573
"Cute"? I do not wanna look cute
on my wedding night.
1040
00:59:05,745 --> 00:59:07,508
Just put this on. Cover yourself up.
1041
00:59:07,681 --> 00:59:09,273
Oh, hey. That's my coat.
1042
00:59:09,449 --> 00:59:11,713
- Thank you. Yeah.
- Thank you.
1043
00:59:16,022 --> 00:59:18,582
Here, let me get you in a cab.
Watch...
1044
00:59:19,125 --> 00:59:21,525
I can't believe
this is my last day in New York.
1045
00:59:21,695 --> 00:59:23,356
What are you talking about?
1046
00:59:24,731 --> 00:59:26,790
I've been meaning to tell you, Tom.
1047
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:29,862
When I leave tomorrow,
I'm not coming back.
1048
00:59:31,271 --> 00:59:35,037
I've decided to move to Scotland
to be with Colin.
1049
00:59:35,208 --> 00:59:36,675
- You're leaving New York?
- I am.
1050
00:59:39,479 --> 00:59:41,913
It's exciting, you know,
and it makes sense.
1051
00:59:42,082 --> 00:59:45,313
He's next in line to take over
the family business and...
1052
00:59:45,885 --> 00:59:48,046
It's a whole new chapter.
1053
00:59:52,792 --> 00:59:54,521
You were amazing today,
you know that?
1054
00:59:54,694 --> 00:59:56,025
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
1055
00:59:56,196 --> 00:59:58,061
I had no idea
you could juggle like that.
1056
00:59:58,231 --> 01:00:00,529
- Yeah, well...
- I mean, women, yes, china, no.
1057
01:00:00,700 --> 01:00:03,567
- Yeah, I know.
- You're always amazing.
1058
01:00:06,005 --> 01:00:07,472
Come.
1059
01:00:13,947 --> 01:00:17,883
- I'll see you in Scotland soon, okay?
- Yeah, I'll see you over there.
1060
01:00:20,987 --> 01:00:22,682
I'll miss you.
1061
01:00:31,264 --> 01:00:33,357
Scotland.
1062
01:00:42,976 --> 01:00:44,466
Come, baby.
1063
01:00:48,748 --> 01:00:50,443
- Hi there.
- Hi.
1064
01:00:50,617 --> 01:00:52,244
Hey.
1065
01:00:53,153 --> 01:00:55,849
- Nice dogs.
- This is Hamish and this is Callum.
1066
01:00:56,022 --> 01:00:58,786
- Callum? Callum.
- Yeah.
1067
01:00:59,526 --> 01:01:01,255
- What dog is that?
- He's a Scottie.
1068
01:01:01,428 --> 01:01:02,986
A Scottie.
1069
01:01:04,431 --> 01:01:08,299
That's perfect. Fucking Scottie.
1070
01:01:17,777 --> 01:01:21,235
I've never felt like this before.
So hopeless.
1071
01:01:21,414 --> 01:01:24,781
So tell me again why you agreed
to be the maid of honor.
1072
01:01:25,518 --> 01:01:27,918
To be with her. Make her happy.
1073
01:01:28,087 --> 01:01:30,385
Figure out some way
to get her off of him.
1074
01:01:30,557 --> 01:01:33,355
Maybe that was all wrong.
Maybe he's better for her than me.
1075
01:01:33,526 --> 01:01:35,687
He's Scottish, he can dunk,
he's perfect.
1076
01:01:35,862 --> 01:01:37,352
Nobody's perfect.
1077
01:01:37,530 --> 01:01:40,124
Although I tell you,
this whiskey comes damn close.
1078
01:01:40,300 --> 01:01:42,291
It was a gift from Colin. He made it.
1079
01:01:43,269 --> 01:01:44,736
Swell.
1080
01:01:45,438 --> 01:01:49,704
I can't go.
I can't watch Hannah marry this guy.
1081
01:01:50,343 --> 01:01:52,208
She's moving to Scotland,
I've lost her.
1082
01:01:52,378 --> 01:01:54,778
- Crap.
- If you love something, set it free.
1083
01:01:54,948 --> 01:01:57,508
Said by a pussy
and used by pussies ever since.
1084
01:02:00,186 --> 01:02:02,279
Casablanca.
Bogie puts her on the plane.
1085
01:02:02,455 --> 01:02:04,218
- Pussy.
- Bogie's a pussy?
1086
01:02:04,524 --> 01:02:06,389
Big pussy.
1087
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:09,554
You know,
I've only truly been in love once.
1088
01:02:09,896 --> 01:02:11,955
The most amazing woman
in the world.
1089
01:02:12,131 --> 01:02:13,962
She was my best friend.
1090
01:02:14,133 --> 01:02:18,263
But I was young, stupid,
and I messed it up.
1091
01:02:18,605 --> 01:02:21,540
My great list of mistakes,
that was the greatest.
1092
01:02:21,875 --> 01:02:24,139
- Who was this?
- Your mother.
1093
01:02:26,112 --> 01:02:31,072
And when I finally realized how
stupid I was, I decided to fight for it...
1094
01:02:31,251 --> 01:02:32,980
...but I was too late.
1095
01:02:34,053 --> 01:02:36,248
She wouldn't take me back.
1096
01:02:36,789 --> 01:02:37,847
And she was right.
1097
01:02:40,260 --> 01:02:42,319
And then it really was too late.
1098
01:02:49,369 --> 01:02:51,132
By the way...
1099
01:02:52,372 --> 01:02:53,862
...l'm getting another divorce.
1100
01:02:58,745 --> 01:03:00,645
Oh, Pop.
1101
01:03:05,184 --> 01:03:08,278
Hey. Go and get her, you pussy.
1102
01:03:11,224 --> 01:03:12,316
What about the dresses?
1103
01:03:12,492 --> 01:03:15,552
UPS is delivering tomorrow morning.
I gave you the tracking number.
1104
01:03:15,728 --> 01:03:17,389
I got it, I got it, I got it.
1105
01:03:18,464 --> 01:03:21,365
Okay, so Colin and Hannah are
gonna meet everyone at the house.
1106
01:03:21,534 --> 01:03:23,365
Okay, great.
1107
01:03:23,970 --> 01:03:25,403
- Thomas.
- Yeah.
1108
01:03:25,572 --> 01:03:27,437
- Go get them, maid of honor.
- Yeah.
1109
01:03:27,607 --> 01:03:29,541
Make this the perfect wedding.
1110
01:03:30,376 --> 01:03:31,809
And steal the bride.
1111
01:03:31,978 --> 01:03:34,469
Thanks, guys. Thanks.
Thanks for everything, man.
1112
01:03:34,647 --> 01:03:36,877
- Thank you so much, all right?
- All right, baby.
1113
01:03:37,050 --> 01:03:40,247
All right, all right, all right.
Get out of here. I'll see you later.
1114
01:03:49,195 --> 01:03:53,131
- This is like a fairy tale.
- Hannah is so lucky.
1115
01:03:53,299 --> 01:03:55,665
- I know.
- I wish I was her.
1116
01:03:55,835 --> 01:03:57,860
How she ever found
such a great guy...
1117
01:03:58,037 --> 01:04:00,437
- We'll come visit her.
- All the time.
1118
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:29,960
Hey. Hey.
1119
01:04:30,169 --> 01:04:31,864
What's your name?
1120
01:04:32,271 --> 01:04:34,831
You're a pretty dog. Oh, I love you.
1121
01:04:42,915 --> 01:04:45,884
- That's his house?
- No. Is this the summer house?
1122
01:04:46,052 --> 01:04:48,316
The McMurrays
have homes for each season.
1123
01:04:48,488 --> 01:04:50,388
This summer home is the smallest.
1124
01:04:50,556 --> 01:04:52,956
They also have an autumn home,
winter home, spring...
1125
01:04:53,126 --> 01:04:54,991
I know the seasons, buddy.
1126
01:04:55,161 --> 01:04:56,628
Somebody's richer than you, Tom.
1127
01:04:56,796 --> 01:05:00,061
I guess you gotta go
invent something even stupider.
1128
01:05:29,762 --> 01:05:32,959
The entire castle was actually built
in 1220 in the 13th century.
1129
01:05:33,132 --> 01:05:37,228
- This is incredible, isn't it?
- But around the 7th...
1130
01:05:38,004 --> 01:05:41,064
Grandma Pearl, Joan,
this is my mother, Dierdre...
1131
01:05:41,240 --> 01:05:43,765
...and my father, Mungo.
1132
01:05:46,145 --> 01:05:48,045
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
1133
01:05:48,214 --> 01:05:50,512
Nice to meet you, Joan.
Nice to meet you. Welcome.
1134
01:05:50,683 --> 01:05:53,311
I want you to meet someone
who is special to my Hannah...
1135
01:05:53,486 --> 01:05:58,753
...and has been a lifelong friend,
and now her maid of honor: Tom.
1136
01:05:58,925 --> 01:06:00,017
Yes.
1137
01:06:00,193 --> 01:06:02,252
Did he just say
he's the maid of honor?
1138
01:06:02,428 --> 01:06:03,520
He's a bloke.
1139
01:06:03,696 --> 01:06:05,459
- How do you do?
- Very good, thank you.
1140
01:06:05,631 --> 01:06:07,496
- Mungo.
- Mungo, pleasure. Thank you.
1141
01:06:07,667 --> 01:06:08,861
Definitely gay.
1142
01:06:09,035 --> 01:06:11,629
Oh, and these are the bridesmaids:
1143
01:06:11,804 --> 01:06:13,863
Hilary, Stephanie and Melissa.
1144
01:06:14,607 --> 01:06:16,199
- How do you do?
- Oh, hello.
1145
01:06:16,375 --> 01:06:17,842
- Hi.
- Nice that you could come.
1146
01:06:18,010 --> 01:06:19,637
How do you do?
1147
01:06:20,580 --> 01:06:22,605
How do you do?
1148
01:06:24,183 --> 01:06:27,812
- So, what do you think?
- I think they think I'm gay.
1149
01:06:27,987 --> 01:06:29,420
- What?
- Can we get together?
1150
01:06:29,589 --> 01:06:30,613
Talk, catch up?
1151
01:06:30,790 --> 01:06:32,758
Tom, Tom,
do you wanna see your chamber?
1152
01:06:32,925 --> 01:06:35,359
- I'd love to. Thank you. Thank you.
- Follow me.
1153
01:06:46,639 --> 01:06:48,038
Thank you.
1154
01:06:49,275 --> 01:06:50,765
Thank you.
1155
01:06:51,277 --> 01:06:52,505
Now, then.
1156
01:06:52,678 --> 01:06:56,705
I think just a few more sprigs
of gypsophila at the front there.
1157
01:06:56,883 --> 01:06:58,475
Lovely.
1158
01:06:58,951 --> 01:07:00,009
What do you guys think?
1159
01:07:00,186 --> 01:07:02,211
- Oh, it is gorgeous.
- You look amazing.
1160
01:07:02,388 --> 01:07:04,049
- It is so pretty.
- With the veil...
1161
01:07:04,223 --> 01:07:06,316
- It's so shiny, it's gorgeous.
- It's you.
1162
01:07:06,492 --> 01:07:08,119
What do you think?
1163
01:07:08,294 --> 01:07:09,693
Of?
1164
01:07:09,862 --> 01:07:12,456
The hair. Yeah, it...
1165
01:07:13,633 --> 01:07:16,101
This sash will go on the dress.
1166
01:07:17,236 --> 01:07:19,363
- Really?
- Tradition.
1167
01:07:22,642 --> 01:07:23,870
What's up with the hair?
1168
01:07:24,043 --> 01:07:27,911
Well, I'm not entirely sure that...
1169
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:31,015
No, you see, it's attached up here
with a lovely big...
1170
01:07:31,184 --> 01:07:33,880
You're the maid of honor.
It's good to just be supportive...
1171
01:07:34,053 --> 01:07:35,953
- I'm supportive.
- I don't think you are.
1172
01:07:36,122 --> 01:07:37,612
- I think I am.
- No, listen to me.
1173
01:07:37,790 --> 01:07:39,883
No, you're doing great,
you're doing great.
1174
01:07:40,059 --> 01:07:41,526
Hannah.
1175
01:07:42,061 --> 01:07:45,155
Actually, you know,
your hair looks amazing.
1176
01:07:45,898 --> 01:07:48,162
- Really?
- Yes.
1177
01:07:48,935 --> 01:07:52,234
The games will be starting soon.
Here are your costumes.
1178
01:07:52,405 --> 01:07:53,429
Games?
1179
01:07:53,606 --> 01:07:55,096
- Costumes.
- Our costumes?
1180
01:07:55,274 --> 01:07:56,707
What do you mean "games"?
1181
01:07:56,876 --> 01:07:58,275
Oh, the Highland Games.
1182
01:07:58,711 --> 01:08:00,736
It's a tradition
in honor of the wedding.
1183
01:08:00,913 --> 01:08:03,814
It goes right back to the time
when the groom had to prove...
1184
01:08:03,983 --> 01:08:06,213
...that he was man enough
to deserve the bride.
1185
01:08:06,385 --> 01:08:09,377
If he didn't win,
he didn't get the bride.
1186
01:08:09,555 --> 01:08:11,648
No problem for my Colin.
1187
01:08:16,329 --> 01:08:20,129
Welcome, one and all,
to the Highland Games.
1188
01:08:20,466 --> 01:08:23,731
Men have traveled from
all four corners of this great country...
1189
01:08:23,903 --> 01:08:26,736
...to compete
in feats of strength and agility.
1190
01:08:26,906 --> 01:08:30,069
But only one warrior
will be man enough to claim the bride.
1191
01:08:33,312 --> 01:08:35,303
One competitor
who needs no introduction...
1192
01:08:35,481 --> 01:08:37,949
...is our very own Colin McMurray.
1193
01:08:38,117 --> 01:08:40,745
- Doesn't my Colin look handsome?
- Coming up the rear...
1194
01:08:40,920 --> 01:08:46,381
...all the way from America,
Hannah's maid of honor, Tom...
1195
01:08:47,460 --> 01:08:48,927
...who I think you'll agree...
1196
01:08:49,095 --> 01:08:52,030
...is wearing a rather fetching
wee minikilt.
1197
01:08:53,099 --> 01:08:54,999
Who was in charge of that?
1198
01:08:55,167 --> 01:08:56,725
I have no idea.
1199
01:08:56,903 --> 01:08:59,701
Yeah, you're sexy!
1200
01:09:19,625 --> 01:09:21,957
Everybody giving their all.
1201
01:09:22,595 --> 01:09:24,722
And we're running neck and neck.
1202
01:09:24,897 --> 01:09:28,799
A Scotsman against a Yank.
1203
01:09:29,535 --> 01:09:33,301
Ladies and gentlemen, the result
of today's Highland Games...
1204
01:09:33,472 --> 01:09:35,303
...rests upon the caber toss.
1205
01:09:35,474 --> 01:09:38,443
The competition
is down to two competitors.
1206
01:09:38,611 --> 01:09:42,012
- A tree. We're tossing a tree?
- Yeah.
1207
01:09:44,684 --> 01:09:46,015
What a toss.
1208
01:09:46,419 --> 01:09:48,011
What a toss.
1209
01:09:48,187 --> 01:09:49,848
- Way to go, Colin.
- He's strong.
1210
01:09:50,022 --> 01:09:53,082
Well, then, Tom.
Let's see what you're made of.
1211
01:09:53,793 --> 01:09:56,626
The whole competition
rests on this throw.
1212
01:09:56,796 --> 01:09:59,230
Look alive, lassie.
1213
01:10:03,602 --> 01:10:05,832
Come on, Tom. Oh, gosh.
1214
01:10:06,839 --> 01:10:09,967
Okay, I can do this. I can do this.
Okay, here we go.
1215
01:10:11,444 --> 01:10:14,038
Okay. Okay, okay. I got it.
1216
01:10:14,213 --> 01:10:17,649
Okay. Okay. Here we go.
Here we go.
1217
01:10:19,285 --> 01:10:21,776
Watch your step. Watch your step.
Watch your step.
1218
01:10:36,836 --> 01:10:41,068
Oh, dear.
That's gonna cost the Yank the girl.
1219
01:10:42,408 --> 01:10:44,706
What an ass.
1220
01:10:44,877 --> 01:10:49,541
And the winner of the Highland Games
is our very own Colin McMurray!
1221
01:10:56,489 --> 01:10:59,117
Great, lad! Good on you.
1222
01:11:00,359 --> 01:11:01,849
That's great.
1223
01:11:43,069 --> 01:11:45,731
Well done, my boy. Well done.
1224
01:11:48,507 --> 01:11:51,806
- So cute.
- Well done, my boy.
1225
01:12:00,853 --> 01:12:05,847
Robert Burns, who wrote that song,
is Scotland's most famous poet.
1226
01:12:08,894 --> 01:12:12,386
No, Auntie, we haven't had any bairns
yet, so we haven't got any names.
1227
01:12:12,565 --> 01:12:14,157
Bairns means children.
1228
01:12:14,333 --> 01:12:17,962
I'm so sorry, I'm having a hard
time understanding your accent.
1229
01:12:18,137 --> 01:12:20,230
- Athol.
- Excuse me?
1230
01:12:20,973 --> 01:12:23,032
It's a name for the children.
1231
01:12:23,209 --> 01:12:24,767
- Athol.
- Athol.
1232
01:12:26,178 --> 01:12:27,975
Little Athol.
1233
01:12:29,582 --> 01:12:33,382
Yeah, no,
we won't be naming our child Athol.
1234
01:12:33,552 --> 01:12:35,645
Maybe when he's a teenager.
1235
01:12:35,821 --> 01:12:37,812
My mother's cousin
was the Duke of Athol.
1236
01:12:37,990 --> 01:12:40,754
We're a long line of Athols.
1237
01:12:41,360 --> 01:12:43,487
Well, maybe we'll keep it
in the mix, eh?
1238
01:12:43,662 --> 01:12:45,129
Maybe as a middle name?
1239
01:12:58,544 --> 01:13:00,341
So, Hannah,
do you like the venison?
1240
01:13:00,513 --> 01:13:02,481
It's delicious.
1241
01:13:03,315 --> 01:13:05,545
Colin shot it. He's a wonderful shot.
1242
01:13:05,718 --> 01:13:07,982
Oh, stop, Mom,
you'll make me blush.
1243
01:13:08,154 --> 01:13:10,520
And this is the moment,
I've just remembered.
1244
01:13:11,090 --> 01:13:12,216
What moment's that?
1245
01:13:12,391 --> 01:13:15,622
When Colin killed the deer.
I filmed it.
1246
01:13:19,565 --> 01:13:21,123
Right between the eyes.
1247
01:13:24,103 --> 01:13:28,130
In fact, everything we are eating
this evening, Colin has killed.
1248
01:13:29,909 --> 01:13:31,171
- Colin.
- To Colin.
1249
01:13:31,377 --> 01:13:33,675
In your honor, Hannah.
1250
01:13:34,146 --> 01:13:35,909
That is so thoughtful.
1251
01:13:36,615 --> 01:13:39,607
I'm so sorry
I didn't kill anything for you.
1252
01:13:46,458 --> 01:13:49,791
Oh, gosh. What did you get?
1253
01:13:50,262 --> 01:13:52,492
Oh, I love chocolate.
1254
01:13:52,665 --> 01:13:54,428
Don't... Don't do that.
1255
01:13:55,267 --> 01:13:56,791
If you want some...
1256
01:13:58,504 --> 01:14:01,200
Here. Give you some.
1257
01:14:01,373 --> 01:14:02,806
Okay?
1258
01:14:11,383 --> 01:14:13,044
Excuse me. Hi.
1259
01:14:13,219 --> 01:14:14,743
Reverend.
1260
01:14:16,021 --> 01:14:18,649
Excuse me. Sorry to... There you go.
1261
01:14:18,824 --> 01:14:20,553
- A wonderful dinner.
- Delighted, Tom.
1262
01:14:20,726 --> 01:14:23,991
- And your wife is looking for you.
- Oh, thank you very much.
1263
01:14:24,396 --> 01:14:26,591
- Nice one.
- Cheers.
1264
01:14:27,866 --> 01:14:30,300
A little birdie tells me
Colin personally slayed...
1265
01:14:30,469 --> 01:14:32,801
...each one of these reindeer heads.
1266
01:14:32,972 --> 01:14:34,496
- Tom.
- You're right.
1267
01:14:34,673 --> 01:14:38,131
When I say a little birdie told me,
he would've told me, but Colin shot it.
1268
01:14:38,677 --> 01:14:42,977
Listen, seriously. Can we go
somewhere private and talk?
1269
01:14:43,148 --> 01:14:45,446
- It's important.
- Yeah.
1270
01:14:46,452 --> 01:14:48,147
Shall we go?
1271
01:14:51,390 --> 01:14:52,789
Bagpipes.
1272
01:14:53,993 --> 01:14:56,461
Oh, my God.
1273
01:14:56,629 --> 01:14:58,620
You know,
he's been playing the bagpipes...
1274
01:14:58,797 --> 01:15:02,790
...ever since he was 3 years old.
Practices every night.
1275
01:15:02,968 --> 01:15:05,596
- Every night?
- Never misses.
1276
01:15:08,907 --> 01:15:10,932
What kind of necklace is that?
1277
01:15:11,110 --> 01:15:14,079
They're glow-in-the-dark
thunder beads.
1278
01:15:27,192 --> 01:15:31,151
- Oh, hi, Mom.
- I have something for you.
1279
01:15:34,033 --> 01:15:35,864
Some evening, huh?
1280
01:15:36,035 --> 01:15:37,525
Yes.
1281
01:15:39,204 --> 01:15:42,571
This is so you can have
a little piece of home with you.
1282
01:15:42,741 --> 01:15:44,265
Thank you.
1283
01:15:47,446 --> 01:15:49,380
Look at you.
1284
01:15:50,282 --> 01:15:51,806
There's you and Melissa.
1285
01:15:51,984 --> 01:15:54,817
You were about 5 there.
1286
01:15:57,156 --> 01:15:59,124
Oh, do you remember this?
1287
01:15:59,291 --> 01:16:02,021
It was taken at the lake
when your father broke his arm...
1288
01:16:02,194 --> 01:16:05,186
...because of that
silly motorcycle of his.
1289
01:16:05,364 --> 01:16:06,729
I miss Dad so much.
1290
01:16:07,132 --> 01:16:08,724
Me too, sweetheart.
1291
01:16:09,101 --> 01:16:11,729
I just wish he could've been here.
1292
01:16:11,904 --> 01:16:14,668
He was always so worried
I was never gonna meet anyone.
1293
01:16:15,174 --> 01:16:16,334
Oh, no, he wasn't.
1294
01:16:16,508 --> 01:16:17,998
Oh, that's Paris.
1295
01:16:18,177 --> 01:16:20,668
He could be so off-base sometimes.
1296
01:16:20,846 --> 01:16:21,904
What?
1297
01:16:22,314 --> 01:16:25,374
Well,
it's just he was always convinced...
1298
01:16:25,551 --> 01:16:27,314
...that you were gonna marry Tom.
1299
01:16:28,721 --> 01:16:30,120
Really?
1300
01:16:32,925 --> 01:16:35,018
I'll see you in the morning.
1301
01:16:35,194 --> 01:16:37,128
Good night, my angel.
1302
01:16:39,565 --> 01:16:42,898
It's pulling of a Band-Aid. You just
have to close your eyes and do it.
1303
01:16:44,870 --> 01:16:46,735
But I just haven't found
the right time.
1304
01:16:46,905 --> 01:16:49,032
What are you talking about,
"right time"?
1305
01:16:49,208 --> 01:16:52,666
Any time is the right time to say
"I love you. Marry me."
1306
01:16:53,679 --> 01:16:56,204
- Right.
- Come on, what are you there for?
1307
01:16:56,582 --> 01:16:59,642
Take the shot, win the game,
and bring her home.
1308
01:16:59,818 --> 01:17:03,310
And stop running up my long-distance
phone bill with these crazy calls.
1309
01:17:03,489 --> 01:17:06,925
Right. Right, right, okay.
Thanks, Felix.
1310
01:17:07,359 --> 01:17:09,884
You can do this, Tom.
You can do this, you can do this.
1311
01:17:10,062 --> 01:17:12,792
What's wrong with me?
You can do this. You can do this.
1312
01:17:25,177 --> 01:17:26,269
- Hey.
- Hey.
1313
01:17:26,445 --> 01:17:29,539
Hey, I thought we could go for a walk
and work on the vows.
1314
01:17:29,715 --> 01:17:31,649
- Good idea. I could use some help.
- Yeah.
1315
01:17:31,817 --> 01:17:33,250
Good, okay.
1316
01:17:36,221 --> 01:17:38,314
- What do you think?
- I think a lot of things.
1317
01:17:38,490 --> 01:17:41,220
I've been working on them,
I think they're getting worse.
1318
01:17:41,393 --> 01:17:44,658
At first I went for the emotion,
then I thought, what if Colin doesn't?
1319
01:17:44,830 --> 01:17:46,923
I tried to be funny.
I don't know if Scots...
1320
01:17:47,099 --> 01:17:49,158
...have the same sense of humor
as Americans.
1321
01:17:49,334 --> 01:17:50,699
I'm back to something basic.
1322
01:17:50,869 --> 01:17:53,565
- I veered off into something boring.
- I'm crazy about you.
1323
01:17:53,739 --> 01:17:57,607
I think about you all the time. I want
to spend the rest of my life with you.
1324
01:17:57,776 --> 01:18:00,142
- Really?
- Really.
1325
01:18:01,013 --> 01:18:02,173
That's so generic.
1326
01:18:02,681 --> 01:18:04,842
- Generic? Generic?
- Yeah.
1327
01:18:05,017 --> 01:18:07,008
- It totally is.
- How can that be generic?
1328
01:18:07,186 --> 01:18:09,051
It sounds like something to say...
1329
01:18:09,221 --> 01:18:11,712
...as opposed
to what you're really feeling.
1330
01:18:15,093 --> 01:18:16,993
All right, how about...
1331
01:18:20,265 --> 01:18:24,201
Nobody in the world
makes me laugh the way you do.
1332
01:18:25,604 --> 01:18:26,696
You're my best friend.
1333
01:18:29,942 --> 01:18:31,603
I just want to be with you.
1334
01:18:38,817 --> 01:18:43,049
Look out, look out, look out!
There she is! Hannah, let's go!
1335
01:18:43,222 --> 01:18:44,587
What is this?
1336
01:18:44,756 --> 01:18:46,781
- This is her "taking out."
- Her what?
1337
01:18:46,959 --> 01:18:49,894
We dress her up and then
we parade her around one of the pubs.
1338
01:18:50,062 --> 01:18:51,859
- That's weird.
- It's tradition.
1339
01:18:52,030 --> 01:18:56,467
And then we fill a toilet with salt
and we sell your kisses for change.
1340
01:18:57,002 --> 01:19:00,403
- Really? They sell your kisses?
- Yup.
1341
01:19:01,640 --> 01:19:04,006
Come on,
it's like a Scottish bachelorette party.
1342
01:19:21,460 --> 01:19:23,291
Okay, come on.
1343
01:19:33,972 --> 01:19:37,999
All right, let's sell some kisses!
1344
01:19:43,549 --> 01:19:46,746
It's her taking out.
She's got the breath of an angel.
1345
01:20:35,667 --> 01:20:37,396
- Another.
- Another.
1346
01:20:37,569 --> 01:20:38,627
Thank you!
1347
01:20:42,841 --> 01:20:44,775
This is all I have.
1348
01:21:29,855 --> 01:21:32,050
- Oh, my gosh, you guys!
- What?
1349
01:21:32,224 --> 01:21:34,317
Don't drop your pot.
1350
01:21:34,493 --> 01:21:36,723
- We have to get more kisses!
- Kisses!
1351
01:21:36,895 --> 01:21:40,331
- More kisses.
- Kisses.
1352
01:22:44,696 --> 01:22:46,891
- I can't take it anymore.
- What are you doing?
1353
01:22:47,065 --> 01:22:49,966
- Let's do it again. For old times' sake.
- Don't take that off.
1354
01:22:50,135 --> 01:22:52,399
No, Tom,
I need to make this up to you.
1355
01:22:52,571 --> 01:22:53,629
Don't take this...
1356
01:22:54,139 --> 01:22:57,506
- No, I'm really unhappy.
- That's fine.
1357
01:22:57,676 --> 01:23:00,304
- No, it's okay.
- Tom, I'm not happy at all.
1358
01:23:00,479 --> 01:23:05,041
And I am in a really,
really confusing place...
1359
01:23:05,217 --> 01:23:08,015
...in my life right now.
1360
01:23:08,186 --> 01:23:11,485
- Confusing?
- Listen, I have had some whiskey...
1361
01:23:11,656 --> 01:23:14,784
- I can tell.
- ...and I need you to service me.
1362
01:23:14,960 --> 01:23:17,861
- Service you? Service you?
- Service me, bitch!
1363
01:23:18,029 --> 01:23:19,053
Service me!
1364
01:23:19,231 --> 01:23:21,529
- Be quiet. Be quiet.
- You be quiet.
1365
01:23:21,700 --> 01:23:25,636
- Get off of me. Just be quiet.
- You get down.
1366
01:23:26,404 --> 01:23:28,531
- Be quiet.
- Be quiet! You be...
1367
01:23:30,542 --> 01:23:33,340
Don't! Get off!
1368
01:23:34,613 --> 01:23:36,774
Wait! Wait!
1369
01:23:37,382 --> 01:23:39,475
Bring me more whiskeys.
1370
01:23:43,021 --> 01:23:44,682
Hannah!
1371
01:23:44,856 --> 01:23:47,120
It's Tom, let me in. Let me in.
1372
01:23:47,292 --> 01:23:49,817
- Go away, Tom.
- No, no, no, let me explain.
1373
01:23:49,995 --> 01:23:52,054
- It's not what you think.
- It doesn't matter.
1374
01:23:52,230 --> 01:23:54,164
- Yes, it does.
- Just go.
1375
01:23:54,332 --> 01:23:57,301
I'll go. Just tell me,
why did you come to my room?
1376
01:24:00,572 --> 01:24:03,939
Hannah?
Why did you come to the room?
1377
01:24:04,109 --> 01:24:06,043
To talk about that kiss.
1378
01:24:09,047 --> 01:24:10,537
Oh, Hannah.
1379
01:24:13,318 --> 01:24:15,946
Please don't... Don't marry him.
1380
01:24:17,055 --> 01:24:19,785
- All these years, Tom.
- Don't marry him.
1381
01:24:19,958 --> 01:24:23,826
All this time.
You're doing this now?
1382
01:24:24,429 --> 01:24:26,920
- I know.
- How can you do this?
1383
01:24:27,098 --> 01:24:30,295
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just let me in.
- No, I can't.
1384
01:24:30,836 --> 01:24:31,860
Let me in.
1385
01:24:32,237 --> 01:24:35,468
You're only doing this now
because you're afraid of losing me.
1386
01:24:39,711 --> 01:24:42,805
I need someone
who's gonna be there for me...
1387
01:24:43,481 --> 01:24:45,608
...no matter what happens.
1388
01:24:49,287 --> 01:24:53,155
Someone who truly loves me.
1389
01:24:56,695 --> 01:24:58,720
Someone I can trust.
1390
01:25:06,238 --> 01:25:09,332
I'm marrying Colin tomorrow...
1391
01:25:09,507 --> 01:25:10,531
...Tom.
1392
01:25:29,127 --> 01:25:31,220
I can't be your maid of honor.
1393
01:25:33,064 --> 01:25:35,157
I can't give you away.
1394
01:25:43,174 --> 01:25:45,039
I'm sorry, Hannah.
1395
01:25:46,978 --> 01:25:49,310
I'm sorry you and Tom had a fight.
1396
01:25:50,482 --> 01:25:52,473
I'm his best friend.
1397
01:25:53,351 --> 01:25:55,717
He's just afraid of losing me.
1398
01:25:58,223 --> 01:26:01,715
- He'll get over it.
- Aye.
1399
01:26:30,922 --> 01:26:33,254
- Can you just suck it? Suck it.
- Okay, okay. I am.
1400
01:26:33,425 --> 01:26:35,757
Suck it in. Breathe in. More.
1401
01:26:35,927 --> 01:26:39,158
- Pull it! You can get into it!
- Pull it! I'll pull it tighter!
1402
01:26:39,331 --> 01:26:44,359
I'll hold, you zip it together.
Come on! One, two.
1403
01:26:44,536 --> 01:26:46,629
Three!
1404
01:26:47,939 --> 01:26:49,429
It didn't...
1405
01:26:49,607 --> 01:26:51,336
- Oh, my God, it fits.
- It fits!
1406
01:26:51,509 --> 01:26:53,807
Oh, it fits! It fits.
1407
01:26:53,979 --> 01:26:55,674
Up top.
1408
01:27:25,677 --> 01:27:29,010
- Why are we stopping?
- Unruly flock.
1409
01:27:29,180 --> 01:27:30,408
What?
1410
01:28:14,359 --> 01:28:15,986
I remember you.
1411
01:28:17,128 --> 01:28:18,561
Hey.
1412
01:28:30,041 --> 01:28:32,202
I love you too.
1413
01:28:32,510 --> 01:28:34,000
Thank you.
1414
01:28:35,447 --> 01:28:38,109
Turn around. I have to go back.
1415
01:29:07,846 --> 01:29:08,870
Oh, no.
1416
01:29:09,047 --> 01:29:11,607
Shit. Shit! Shit!
1417
01:29:11,983 --> 01:29:13,575
Hey! I need another ferry boat.
1418
01:29:13,751 --> 01:29:15,616
- We've only got the one ferry.
- What?
1419
01:29:15,787 --> 01:29:19,052
It's waiting over there
for the ceremony to finish.
1420
01:29:19,224 --> 01:29:21,658
- Is there another way to get there?
- You can drive.
1421
01:29:21,826 --> 01:29:23,817
- Drive. How long?
- About an hour and a half.
1422
01:29:23,995 --> 01:29:25,895
- That's too long.
- You can swim.
1423
01:29:26,064 --> 01:29:29,625
You can go on foot around the shore.
But that would take a wee while.
1424
01:29:29,801 --> 01:29:31,166
Foot.
1425
01:29:32,470 --> 01:29:35,234
A horse. Horse.
Hey, I need your horse.
1426
01:29:35,406 --> 01:29:36,964
- My horse?
- Yes.
1427
01:29:37,742 --> 01:29:40,768
- Hey, come down from there, you.
- I need to get to the church.
1428
01:29:40,945 --> 01:29:43,607
What do you think you're planning?
You'll hurt yourself.
1429
01:29:43,781 --> 01:29:46,147
I'll give you 3 cents
for every coffee collar used.
1430
01:29:46,317 --> 01:29:48,410
Do you have any idea
how much money that is?
1431
01:29:48,586 --> 01:29:51,817
- Good luck to you. Her name's Nancy.
- Thanks. Nancy. Let's go!
1432
01:29:56,494 --> 01:29:57,961
Stick to the shoreline.
1433
01:29:58,563 --> 01:30:01,999
Past the monument.
The church is on the left.
1434
01:30:02,500 --> 01:30:07,233
What in the name of the wee man
is a coffee collar?
1435
01:30:08,173 --> 01:30:09,538
Easy.
1436
01:30:14,312 --> 01:30:17,543
Let's just pin
these nice pressed pleats.
1437
01:30:17,715 --> 01:30:22,414
And it goes across the dress,
it looks really beautiful. It's our tartan.
1438
01:30:38,303 --> 01:30:39,964
That's it.
1439
01:30:45,677 --> 01:30:47,838
Please be seated.
1440
01:30:49,914 --> 01:30:52,075
We are gathered here
in the sight of God...
1441
01:30:52,250 --> 01:30:55,083
Boys, give me your pins. Pins.
1442
01:30:55,253 --> 01:30:57,448
- to join together this man
and this wo...
1443
01:31:02,894 --> 01:31:05,124
This is a celebration of love.
1444
01:31:05,797 --> 01:31:09,699
For Colin, it's through the memories
of seeing his parents' love as a child.
1445
01:31:09,867 --> 01:31:12,734
- It's very nice.
- And for Hannah...
1446
01:31:12,904 --> 01:31:15,702
...it's through the paintings
of Modigliani.
1447
01:31:15,873 --> 01:31:18,774
Therefore, if any man
can show just cause...
1448
01:31:18,943 --> 01:31:21,741
...why they may not
be lawfully joined together...
1449
01:31:21,913 --> 01:31:24,780
...let him now speak
or forever hold his peace.
1450
01:31:32,390 --> 01:31:33,823
Tom?
1451
01:31:41,266 --> 01:31:45,168
Tom? Tom?
1452
01:31:45,336 --> 01:31:48,863
Tom. Tom.
1453
01:31:49,707 --> 01:31:51,265
Tom.
1454
01:31:52,410 --> 01:31:54,173
Tom.
1455
01:31:56,381 --> 01:31:58,611
Tom. Are you okay?
1456
01:31:58,783 --> 01:32:00,478
Yeah, I think so.
1457
01:32:00,652 --> 01:32:02,984
Tom, what are you doing here?
1458
01:32:03,154 --> 01:32:05,520
- I have to tell you something.
- Yeah.
1459
01:32:05,690 --> 01:32:06,850
Hannah...
1460
01:32:09,427 --> 01:32:11,258
- Your hair looks awful.
- It does?
1461
01:32:11,429 --> 01:32:12,487
- Yeah.
- What?
1462
01:32:12,664 --> 01:32:14,256
And the sash...
1463
01:32:15,333 --> 01:32:16,800
...it sucks.
1464
01:32:17,001 --> 01:32:18,559
Oh, no.
1465
01:32:18,736 --> 01:32:20,601
But that hair...
1466
01:32:21,606 --> 01:32:23,665
...it's like a co-op for parakeets.
1467
01:32:23,841 --> 01:32:25,365
What?
1468
01:32:25,543 --> 01:32:28,103
Look, Hannah.
1469
01:32:28,279 --> 01:32:31,874
You know, I pride myself
on being honest with everybody.
1470
01:32:32,050 --> 01:32:35,247
But there's somebody
I've been lying to for a very long time:
1471
01:32:35,420 --> 01:32:36,978
Myself.
1472
01:32:38,056 --> 01:32:40,024
Because the truth is...
1473
01:32:40,191 --> 01:32:41,351
Is scary.
1474
01:32:42,393 --> 01:32:45,726
And 10 years ago,
I got in bed with the wrong girl.
1475
01:32:46,331 --> 01:32:48,799
She turned out to be the right one.
1476
01:32:55,440 --> 01:32:56,839
I love you, Hannah.
1477
01:32:58,109 --> 01:32:59,736
I always have.
1478
01:33:00,278 --> 01:33:02,303
And I always will.
1479
01:33:04,015 --> 01:33:05,949
Thomas Bailey...
1480
01:33:06,551 --> 01:33:10,248
...you are the worst
maid of honor of all time.
1481
01:33:36,347 --> 01:33:37,974
Oh, no.
1482
01:33:50,862 --> 01:33:52,295
I'm...
1483
01:33:53,030 --> 01:33:54,622
...so...
1484
01:33:57,235 --> 01:33:59,703
...very truly sorry.
1485
01:34:05,676 --> 01:34:07,439
I don't expect you to ever forgive me.
1486
01:34:13,151 --> 01:34:15,016
Just so you know...
1487
01:34:16,654 --> 01:34:18,713
...you are the perfect guy.
1488
01:34:21,058 --> 01:34:22,787
Just not the perfect guy for me.
1489
01:34:36,841 --> 01:34:38,103
Goodbye, Hannah.
1490
01:34:40,645 --> 01:34:42,203
Colin.
1491
01:34:46,717 --> 01:34:47,809
What'd she say?
1492
01:34:48,219 --> 01:34:50,653
- She said I should deck you.
- Yeah, that makes sense.
1493
01:34:54,926 --> 01:34:56,188
Asshole.
1494
01:35:11,476 --> 01:35:12,500
I do.
1495
01:35:12,677 --> 01:35:16,579
And, Tom, do you take Hannah
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
1496
01:35:16,747 --> 01:35:18,305
I do.
1497
01:35:18,483 --> 01:35:20,451
Now, this is the moment.
1498
01:35:23,421 --> 01:35:26,515
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
1499
01:35:26,691 --> 01:35:30,183
At last, you may kiss your bride.
1500
01:35:55,253 --> 01:35:56,948
Oh, my gosh.
1501
01:35:57,388 --> 01:35:59,788
- Number six?
- Seven.
1502
01:36:01,058 --> 01:36:04,391
You're absolutely glowing tonight,
Grandma Pearl.
1503
01:36:04,562 --> 01:36:06,393
Thank you.
1504
01:36:06,931 --> 01:36:09,700
It's very nice of you to say so.
1505
01:36:09,735 --> 01:36:09,927
It's very nice of you to say so.
1506
01:36:20,878 --> 01:36:22,402
What are you doing?
1507
01:36:25,216 --> 01:36:27,616
I'm just making sure
I got the right girl this time.
1508
01:36:27,785 --> 01:36:31,118
You do. Definitely.
1509
01:36:36,160 --> 01:36:38,321
Oh, Monica.
1510
01:36:38,496 --> 01:36:41,007
Oh, Bill.