1 00:01:16,749 --> 00:01:18,251 Shall we? 2 00:01:18,251 --> 00:01:19,836 We shall 3 00:01:22,130 --> 00:01:26,759 Oh my God. Now what have I got today? 4 00:01:30,388 --> 00:01:33,558 You should try these. You'll never wake up 5 00:01:33,558 --> 00:01:35,935 It's the waking up pills I'm looking for 6 00:01:36,102 --> 00:01:39,439 Anything blue, I recommend for that 7 00:01:39,439 --> 00:01:42,400 White ones give me more of a thrill 8 00:01:43,484 --> 00:01:44,652 Cheers 9 00:01:45,945 --> 00:01:49,824 'Do not operate heavy machinery.' 10 00:01:49,824 --> 00:01:52,452 'Keep away from children.' 11 00:01:52,452 --> 00:01:54,162 Biblical advice 12 00:01:54,412 --> 00:01:55,747 There you go, gentlemen 13 00:01:55,997 --> 00:01:57,915 - Thank you. - Excellent, my dear 14 00:01:59,459 --> 00:02:00,877 Have you got my glasses? 15 00:02:00,877 --> 00:02:02,170 No, you've got 16 00:02:02,795 --> 00:02:06,424 Why would I have them? I'm not wearing them, am I? 17 00:02:06,799 --> 00:02:09,010 Christ, I've lost them now! 18 00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:12,472 - That's the worst thing that's ever happened... - They're in your right hand 19 00:02:14,849 --> 00:02:16,184 Oh, yeah 20 00:02:16,184 --> 00:02:18,978 You wouldn't last five minutes without me 21 00:02:18,978 --> 00:02:19,979 I'm getting help 22 00:02:20,146 --> 00:02:20,772 Professional? 23 00:02:20,772 --> 00:02:22,774 My niece's girl 24 00:02:24,442 --> 00:02:27,654 Have you worked out what the girl will actually do? 25 00:02:28,988 --> 00:02:30,990 She'll shop and cook for me 26 00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:32,325 A sort of nurse, then? 27 00:02:32,325 --> 00:02:33,993 No uniform 28 00:02:34,786 --> 00:02:37,163 Don't give yourself a coronary 29 00:02:37,455 --> 00:02:39,582 At the hospital they said... 30 00:02:39,582 --> 00:02:44,003 if I'm clear in five years, I'm safe 31 00:02:44,003 --> 00:02:48,800 I said, by then -- I'll be drinking with Jesus 32 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:52,011 He's looking forward to meeting you. He loved your Polonius 33 00:02:52,011 --> 00:02:54,514 But he found your Caesar a little weak 34 00:02:54,514 --> 00:02:55,390 Weak? 35 00:02:55,390 --> 00:02:57,892 A little -- fruity 36 00:02:57,892 --> 00:03:00,103 No, he fucking didn't 37 00:03:00,103 --> 00:03:02,397 Did he? Fruity? 38 00:03:02,689 --> 00:03:05,983 What the fuck. Fruity! Fucking fruit 39 00:03:07,193 --> 00:03:09,070 I'm parched. How about a drink? 40 00:03:09,070 --> 00:03:13,282 This isn't a pub. I've got to get her room ready 41 00:03:13,282 --> 00:03:14,867 Can I help? 42 00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:19,997 Don't flap it about like that, Maurice... 43 00:03:20,415 --> 00:03:22,709 I'm getting wind rash 44 00:03:22,959 --> 00:03:25,545 I'll tuck it in, you'll tire yourself 45 00:03:25,545 --> 00:03:27,588 She'll suffocate in there 46 00:03:27,588 --> 00:03:31,050 There's no reason for her to move around unnecessarily at night 47 00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:33,720 Not unless she needs to attend to me 48 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,388 In what way? 49 00:03:35,555 --> 00:03:38,850 I've bought a little bell to put beside my bed 50 00:03:39,809 --> 00:03:43,396 If I feel unwell I can tinkle it 51 00:03:45,898 --> 00:03:48,943 I bet she can't wait to hear that little tinkle 52 00:03:48,943 --> 00:03:51,446 I've bought her a pink towel, too 53 00:03:51,612 --> 00:03:54,574 So there's no confusion in the bathroom 54 00:03:54,574 --> 00:03:56,909 No, you wouldn't want that 55 00:03:56,909 --> 00:03:58,119 No 56 00:04:01,122 --> 00:04:05,334 And in case she wants something to read, I got her these 57 00:04:06,127 --> 00:04:08,087 Fucking Edith Wharton 58 00:04:08,087 --> 00:04:12,633 I really want to educate the girl, Maurice. Pass something on 59 00:04:12,633 --> 00:04:14,427 Yes, dear 60 00:04:15,094 --> 00:04:17,096 She loves music 61 00:04:17,346 --> 00:04:21,726 While we're eating, I thought we could listen to the St Matthew Passion 62 00:04:21,726 --> 00:04:22,602 Lovely 63 00:04:22,602 --> 00:04:27,106 No doubt it'll be tomato soup and a temazapam for you 64 00:04:27,273 --> 00:04:28,065 No doubt 65 00:04:28,065 --> 00:04:31,110 Shall I get her to run a nice bath... 66 00:04:31,277 --> 00:04:34,363 and put my dressing-gown on the radiator? 67 00:04:35,490 --> 00:04:39,494 I hope she can do a rocket salad 68 00:04:39,494 --> 00:04:42,371 Or something interesting with fish 69 00:04:49,754 --> 00:04:52,089 Going anywhere nice for the holidays? 70 00:04:55,885 --> 00:04:56,761 Oh. Where? 71 00:04:56,761 --> 00:04:58,387 Piranha fish 72 00:04:58,638 --> 00:04:59,764 Fantastic 73 00:05:00,348 --> 00:05:02,391 Right, Maurice, deep breath for me now 74 00:05:04,143 --> 00:05:06,354 And, there we go 75 00:05:06,354 --> 00:05:09,148 Easy but not necessarily nice 76 00:05:09,315 --> 00:05:13,069 Uncomfortable? That's quite normal. Feel the same myself 77 00:05:14,654 --> 00:05:16,364 Everything all right otherwise? 78 00:05:16,781 --> 00:05:18,032 Life treating you well? 79 00:05:18,032 --> 00:05:19,826 Jesus Christ 80 00:05:19,826 --> 00:05:21,369 Good 81 00:05:22,620 --> 00:05:25,039 The prostate should feel like a peach... 82 00:05:25,039 --> 00:05:27,166 with a groove down the centre 83 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:30,169 Yours is a little bumpy. There might be a small nodule in there... 84 00:05:30,169 --> 00:05:31,212 but it could be nothing 85 00:05:31,212 --> 00:05:34,382 So, we need to send you to a specialist 86 00:05:35,007 --> 00:05:38,177 A lot of older men have this problem. It rarely kills them 87 00:05:38,344 --> 00:05:40,930 They die of something else first? 88 00:05:41,514 --> 00:05:42,849 Right 89 00:05:42,849 --> 00:05:46,143 So, you should worry a little but not a lot 90 00:05:46,561 --> 00:05:47,687 Now then ... 91 00:05:48,229 --> 00:05:51,232 Not after last year. I made that quite clear 92 00:05:51,232 --> 00:05:55,570 In the end, there was such a stream of ... you know ... 93 00:05:55,570 --> 00:05:56,195 Really? 94 00:05:56,195 --> 00:05:58,573 Yeah. Coming and going and all that 95 00:05:58,573 --> 00:06:02,285 I felt like shouting 'Another warm body for my friend' 96 00:06:02,285 --> 00:06:03,953 - You should have done. - Yeah, I know 97 00:06:03,953 --> 00:06:07,540 All done. Can you put your finger on that, please? 98 00:06:19,218 --> 00:06:22,388 Come on, old man! 99 00:06:53,628 --> 00:06:55,630 Thank Christ you're here 100 00:06:55,630 --> 00:06:56,589 What's up? 101 00:06:56,589 --> 00:07:00,301 Horrible, horrible, foul... 102 00:07:00,301 --> 00:07:03,429 and vile beyond belief 103 00:07:03,638 --> 00:07:05,514 What an upset 104 00:07:07,183 --> 00:07:09,644 Was the bath too cold or the towel too hot? 105 00:07:09,644 --> 00:07:11,646 Was the fish over-cooked? 106 00:07:11,646 --> 00:07:14,649 Fish? Fish? 107 00:07:14,649 --> 00:07:18,152 I'd have been lucky to get a fish finger 108 00:07:18,152 --> 00:07:21,322 inserted into my rectum 109 00:07:21,489 --> 00:07:23,658 God, Maurice... 110 00:07:23,658 --> 00:07:24,825 What's gone wrong? 111 00:07:24,825 --> 00:07:30,623 It's hardly been twenty- four hours already I'm screaming for euthanasia 112 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,056 Shouldn't you be getting ready? 113 00:07:47,056 --> 00:07:48,307 For what? 114 00:07:48,307 --> 00:07:49,100 The theatre 115 00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:56,065 Oh God, yes. Yes. Let's leave immediately 116 00:07:56,649 --> 00:07:59,568 I'll just change 117 00:08:01,070 --> 00:08:06,409 Let's hope it's a long play 118 00:08:08,995 --> 00:08:11,664 You've never said that before 119 00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,741 I'm Maurice 120 00:08:49,577 --> 00:08:51,120 Maurice 121 00:08:52,913 --> 00:08:54,540 You? 122 00:08:56,292 --> 00:08:58,169 Can I? 123 00:09:00,171 --> 00:09:05,426 You'll find I usually call around this time, for a little drinkie 124 00:09:06,218 --> 00:09:10,222 I like whisky...with a whisker of water 125 00:09:10,222 --> 00:09:14,185 No more than a whisker, mind you. That ruins it 126 00:09:14,769 --> 00:09:16,937 It's called 'drowning' 127 00:09:20,149 --> 00:09:21,567 Drowning 128 00:09:22,359 --> 00:09:24,737 Do you know how to mix drinks? 129 00:09:25,196 --> 00:09:29,158 Once acquired, it's a talent that will serve you for life 130 00:09:30,076 --> 00:09:31,952 Like typing 131 00:09:41,170 --> 00:09:45,883 So... what are you doing? 132 00:09:46,342 --> 00:09:48,385 In London, I mean 133 00:09:48,969 --> 00:09:50,346 Looking for work 134 00:09:50,346 --> 00:09:52,223 What sort of work? 135 00:09:52,890 --> 00:09:56,102 Work. You know, work 136 00:09:56,102 --> 00:09:58,521 Yes, yes, I know all about it 137 00:09:59,230 --> 00:10:01,649 Any particular kind? 138 00:10:01,649 --> 00:10:03,109 Modeling 139 00:10:03,109 --> 00:10:05,486 There can't be much call for that 140 00:10:05,486 --> 00:10:06,403 Call for what? 141 00:10:06,403 --> 00:10:07,780 Yodeling 142 00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:13,202 Not yodeling. Modeling. You know 143 00:10:17,748 --> 00:10:19,500 You know anyone in the modeling field? 144 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:22,294 Yes. I know everyone 145 00:10:25,131 --> 00:10:27,967 Do you have a fall-back position? 146 00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:32,263 No. I don't need one 147 00:10:32,263 --> 00:10:33,389 Right 148 00:10:33,389 --> 00:10:34,306 Are you saying I do? 149 00:10:34,306 --> 00:10:37,643 No. I wouldn't say that 150 00:10:39,019 --> 00:10:41,939 - No. - No good 151 00:10:48,028 --> 00:10:51,282 I'm thirsty now. Can I have a beer? 152 00:10:51,282 --> 00:10:52,533 I told him to get me some in 153 00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:53,951 What did he say? 154 00:10:53,951 --> 00:10:56,036 He said it were a slippery slope 155 00:11:19,768 --> 00:11:21,312 Ian? 156 00:11:28,485 --> 00:11:31,322 It won't be as good as 'Celebrity Love Island' 157 00:11:31,322 --> 00:11:33,032 but it will be live 158 00:11:33,032 --> 00:11:34,074 Live? 159 00:11:34,074 --> 00:11:35,743 You might enjoy it 160 00:11:46,587 --> 00:11:48,339 Can't we go and see 'Lion King'? 161 00:11:48,339 --> 00:11:50,007 What a good idea 162 00:11:51,592 --> 00:11:53,177 Come on, you minger! 163 00:11:53,177 --> 00:11:54,970 What a mess you've made 164 00:11:54,970 --> 00:11:57,056 Oh God 165 00:11:57,389 --> 00:12:01,977 No! 166 00:12:01,977 --> 00:12:05,189 Stupid cunt. You're in the biggest trouble of your life 167 00:12:05,189 --> 00:12:06,398 Come on 168 00:12:07,233 --> 00:12:11,195 Don't make me stand here on my own, you cunts! 169 00:12:11,362 --> 00:12:13,364 I can't stand it 170 00:12:13,781 --> 00:12:15,199 Come with us 171 00:12:15,199 --> 00:12:18,619 No, I've got ... 172 00:12:18,619 --> 00:12:20,246 Get a minder 173 00:12:20,788 --> 00:12:23,624 I so loved you in the Dickens the other night 174 00:12:23,624 --> 00:12:24,500 You noticed me? 175 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:27,378 Don't be silly, of course I did 176 00:12:27,378 --> 00:12:29,421 You were very funny and clever 177 00:12:29,421 --> 00:12:30,631 Thank you 178 00:12:31,507 --> 00:12:32,675 Jillian? 179 00:12:32,675 --> 00:12:34,551 Yeah, Jillian 180 00:12:39,431 --> 00:12:40,766 You're famous? 181 00:12:40,766 --> 00:12:42,017 A little bit 182 00:12:42,268 --> 00:12:43,686 What's your name again? 183 00:12:43,686 --> 00:12:45,104 Maurice 184 00:12:45,646 --> 00:12:47,273 Maurice Russell 185 00:12:47,773 --> 00:12:49,108 Oh, right 186 00:12:53,279 --> 00:12:54,280 Isn't it the end? 187 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,658 It's never the end when you go to the theatre, I'm afraid 188 00:12:57,866 --> 00:12:58,993 Come on 189 00:12:58,993 --> 00:13:00,953 Are you taking me somewhere? 190 00:13:01,912 --> 00:13:02,997 Yeah 191 00:13:02,997 --> 00:13:04,415 How wonderful 192 00:13:08,294 --> 00:13:10,296 I'll have a Bacardi Breezer 193 00:13:10,462 --> 00:13:11,672 Me, too 194 00:13:12,423 --> 00:13:13,674 What is it? 195 00:13:13,924 --> 00:13:15,301 It's red 196 00:13:15,301 --> 00:13:16,593 Oh, good 197 00:13:18,262 --> 00:13:20,014 Like wine? 198 00:13:20,014 --> 00:13:21,432 Is it? 199 00:13:24,184 --> 00:13:26,437 Getting on well with Uncle Ian? 200 00:13:26,729 --> 00:13:28,314 Do you know anything about fish? 201 00:13:28,314 --> 00:13:29,982 Fuck all, my dear 202 00:13:30,274 --> 00:13:31,567 You? 203 00:13:31,567 --> 00:13:33,027 Fuck all 204 00:13:34,028 --> 00:13:35,988 You could consult a book 205 00:13:36,447 --> 00:13:37,448 A book? 206 00:13:37,448 --> 00:13:42,202 You know, two flaps of cardboard with printed pages in between 207 00:13:43,454 --> 00:13:44,955 O you read a lot? 208 00:13:44,955 --> 00:13:47,082 Only when there's no-one to talk to 209 00:13:52,046 --> 00:13:55,215 That went down a treat. Another? 210 00:14:00,512 --> 00:14:02,097 I'll let you get me one more 211 00:14:02,097 --> 00:14:03,349 Oh, thank you 212 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,185 Excuse me 213 00:14:07,978 --> 00:14:11,231 I think you're sweating on me. I think it's gone in my mouth 214 00:14:11,231 --> 00:14:12,649 I'm sure you've swallowed worse 215 00:14:12,649 --> 00:14:13,901 Oh, shit 216 00:14:16,528 --> 00:14:18,322 I think I'm gonna be sick 217 00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,418 There you go 218 00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:48,287 Oh, fuck. Jesus! 219 00:15:48,537 --> 00:15:51,623 Dad. Don't leave us 220 00:15:51,623 --> 00:15:55,627 - He's going. - No. Goodbye. Goodbye 221 00:15:56,003 --> 00:15:58,338 Goodbye, dad 222 00:15:59,298 --> 00:16:00,466 And cut 223 00:16:01,175 --> 00:16:01,967 Very good 224 00:16:01,967 --> 00:16:03,886 All right, thanks, everybody 225 00:16:18,650 --> 00:16:19,902 Are you okay? 226 00:16:19,902 --> 00:16:22,446 I think I'm going to die 227 00:16:22,654 --> 00:16:25,908 You can't die yet, we haven't shot them carrying the body out yet 228 00:16:32,206 --> 00:16:33,499 Hello, mate 229 00:16:38,378 --> 00:16:40,005 Here you are, Mr Russell, as requested 230 00:16:40,005 --> 00:16:41,340 Thanks, old chap 231 00:16:41,924 --> 00:16:44,927 And may I take some of these cakes? 232 00:16:44,927 --> 00:16:47,513 Sure, why not? I'll pack some up for you 233 00:16:47,513 --> 00:16:48,680 Thank you 234 00:17:08,158 --> 00:17:10,953 I'm in such pain, dear, I don't want to live 235 00:17:10,953 --> 00:17:12,287 Yes, you do 236 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:15,707 Almost all of us want you to live 237 00:17:24,132 --> 00:17:26,176 I have to have an operation 238 00:17:27,219 --> 00:17:28,095 What is it? 239 00:17:28,095 --> 00:17:29,471 Prostate 240 00:17:31,139 --> 00:17:32,975 I'm sure it's just routine 241 00:17:32,975 --> 00:17:34,977 Oh, Maurice I'm so sorry 242 00:17:36,103 --> 00:17:39,606 You've always wanted to remove my balls surgically 243 00:17:39,606 --> 00:17:42,109 These cakes are awfully nice 244 00:17:43,694 --> 00:17:45,112 Action 245 00:17:47,197 --> 00:17:48,574 Bravo 246 00:17:48,574 --> 00:17:52,536 I've been at it like a dog all day. I'm utterly broken 247 00:17:52,536 --> 00:17:53,745 What were you playing? 248 00:17:53,745 --> 00:17:55,289 A corpse more or less 249 00:17:55,289 --> 00:17:56,748 Typecast again 250 00:18:02,671 --> 00:18:06,425 Here. I asked them for cash 251 00:18:06,758 --> 00:18:08,427 Well, not all of it 252 00:18:09,886 --> 00:18:14,766 Please, take it. Put it towards the boiler, it gets cold in here 253 00:18:18,604 --> 00:18:21,231 The whole thing is useless 254 00:18:23,275 --> 00:18:27,613 It's all got to be replaced, Maurice, the radiators, everything 255 00:18:27,988 --> 00:18:30,032 The man came yesterday 256 00:18:30,198 --> 00:18:32,159 I owe you thousands 257 00:18:33,785 --> 00:18:35,621 Over the years ... 258 00:18:36,747 --> 00:18:40,334 you've been more than generous. I haven't forgotten 259 00:18:40,334 --> 00:18:41,543 No 260 00:18:42,669 --> 00:18:45,297 Can't the children contribute? 261 00:18:45,297 --> 00:18:48,383 Can't we look after ourselves in our old age? 262 00:19:02,064 --> 00:19:04,483 Ah, Sammy's gone 263 00:19:04,483 --> 00:19:06,026 He has? 264 00:19:06,026 --> 00:19:06,693 Yeah 265 00:19:06,693 --> 00:19:07,819 Christ 266 00:19:07,819 --> 00:19:10,656 Big picture of him here as a handsome young spunker 267 00:19:10,656 --> 00:19:12,282 Another one down 268 00:19:12,282 --> 00:19:13,408 Yeah 269 00:19:15,827 --> 00:19:18,080 I wonder how many lines I'll get? 270 00:19:19,706 --> 00:19:21,291 A paragraph 271 00:19:23,377 --> 00:19:25,712 Lo, here comes Caesar 272 00:19:25,712 --> 00:19:27,297 And moving rapidly for someone 273 00:19:27,297 --> 00:19:29,966 who has just picked up his disability cheque 274 00:19:31,802 --> 00:19:32,969 Oh God 275 00:19:33,512 --> 00:19:34,846 Hello, love 276 00:19:34,846 --> 00:19:38,225 Thank Christ she's asleep now 277 00:19:38,225 --> 00:19:42,187 She's drunk all my best Stoli and the Scotch! 278 00:19:42,187 --> 00:19:47,359 She even put away the Drambuie I was saving for your Christmas visit 279 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,444 God, no? 280 00:19:49,444 --> 00:19:52,906 I bought some halibut yesterday 281 00:19:52,906 --> 00:19:54,741 but she didn't know what to do with it 282 00:19:54,741 --> 00:19:55,909 Dear Jesus 283 00:19:55,909 --> 00:20:02,749 Her notion of cooking is to stick a a plate of virtual sick into the microwave! 284 00:20:02,749 --> 00:20:04,042 Can't you call the police? 285 00:20:04,042 --> 00:20:05,210 That's a very good idea 286 00:20:05,210 --> 00:20:07,629 Just kill them, kill the young 287 00:20:07,629 --> 00:20:10,632 Exterminate their disgusting happiness and hope 288 00:20:10,632 --> 00:20:15,262 This is not fucking funny! I've got high blood pressure 289 00:20:15,262 --> 00:20:18,265 I could die at any moment 290 00:20:18,265 --> 00:20:20,475 Why doesn't she just go back home? 291 00:20:20,475 --> 00:20:22,602 I rang my niece. I begged her 292 00:20:22,602 --> 00:20:25,021 I wept more than Antigone 293 00:20:25,021 --> 00:20:28,275 I said I'd pay for the taxi to wherever 294 00:20:28,275 --> 00:20:32,195 Martha said there is no job in the countryside 295 00:20:32,195 --> 00:20:34,781 There must be some demand for barmaids and prostitutes 296 00:20:34,781 --> 00:20:38,535 Yeah, I mean, even in the country they need young women to ... 297 00:20:38,535 --> 00:20:39,536 to, um ...lap dance 298 00:20:39,536 --> 00:20:41,121 What do you know about that? 299 00:20:41,121 --> 00:20:42,497 You can learn a lot from the television 300 00:20:42,664 --> 00:20:49,546 Look, the fact is Martha just doesn't want her back. But to unleash her on us like this 301 00:20:49,546 --> 00:20:51,298 - Maliciously. - Exactly 302 00:20:51,298 --> 00:20:54,634 - It's pure evil. - Of course it is, yeah 303 00:20:54,634 --> 00:20:56,762 Did your niece do it deliberately? 304 00:20:56,762 --> 00:21:00,015 What, what you men are laughing at me 305 00:21:00,015 --> 00:21:02,517 Let's think about this collectively 306 00:21:02,517 --> 00:21:04,436 Yeah, yeah, please, please, please, thank you 307 00:21:04,436 --> 00:21:06,688 Er, we, we hate to see you suffer, Ian 308 00:21:06,688 --> 00:21:10,650 Maurice, you're fond of women ...I mean, all women 309 00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:13,612 and you're resourceful. Help me 310 00:21:13,612 --> 00:21:16,198 You couldn't have come to a better man 311 00:21:16,198 --> 00:21:18,450 A scientist of the female heart 312 00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:20,911 - A professor of pussy. - That's it 313 00:21:20,911 --> 00:21:24,748 Fucking shut it, Donald! You're really getting on my nerves! 314 00:21:24,748 --> 00:21:27,793 Fucking shut it, Donald. You're really getting on my nerves 315 00:21:27,793 --> 00:21:30,837 - Shut it. - Fucking shut it 316 00:21:35,634 --> 00:21:37,010 He's at doctors 317 00:21:37,010 --> 00:21:38,136 Good 318 00:21:38,470 --> 00:21:39,638 What? 319 00:21:39,638 --> 00:21:42,808 After scouring the earth on your behalf, Jessie ... 320 00:21:42,808 --> 00:21:45,769 I'm here to announce I've got you a job 321 00:21:45,936 --> 00:21:46,686 Liar 322 00:21:46,686 --> 00:21:48,021 It's true 323 00:21:48,188 --> 00:21:49,648 Modeling 324 00:21:50,357 --> 00:21:51,441 You've done that? 325 00:21:51,441 --> 00:21:53,860 Yeah -- Pleased? 326 00:21:54,069 --> 00:21:55,779 I said you could rely on me 327 00:21:55,779 --> 00:21:57,739 Well, what sort of clothes is it? 328 00:21:57,906 --> 00:21:59,699 Do you think I'll get to keep them? The end? 329 00:21:59,699 --> 00:22:01,368 I'm not sure about that 330 00:22:01,368 --> 00:22:02,828 Why not? 331 00:22:03,203 --> 00:22:06,498 There's no actual clothes involved 332 00:22:07,165 --> 00:22:08,875 What? None at all? 333 00:22:08,875 --> 00:22:12,963 No. Not as such. No 334 00:22:13,338 --> 00:22:17,050 No clothes. None at all 335 00:22:17,050 --> 00:22:19,052 You're having me do a porno? 336 00:22:19,052 --> 00:22:21,429 I'm not letting anyone I know see me chuffs and bumps! 337 00:22:21,429 --> 00:22:22,222 It's not like that 338 00:22:22,222 --> 00:22:23,056 What's it like then? 339 00:22:23,056 --> 00:22:24,099 You'll see 340 00:22:24,099 --> 00:22:25,809 You better not be trying to corrupt me 341 00:22:25,809 --> 00:22:28,228 I am shocked that you would think of me like this 342 00:22:28,228 --> 00:22:29,938 I am a respectable man 343 00:22:29,938 --> 00:22:31,231 Oh yeah, right 344 00:22:31,231 --> 00:22:34,317 'Chuffs and bumps.' I've never heard that before 345 00:22:34,317 --> 00:22:36,236 Now you're thinking about it! 346 00:22:36,236 --> 00:22:37,320 I'm not, I promise 347 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:38,780 You think about summat else 348 00:22:38,780 --> 00:22:40,198 I shall 349 00:22:40,866 --> 00:22:42,659 Jesus 350 00:22:49,916 --> 00:22:52,002 Well, when do I start? 351 00:22:53,461 --> 00:22:56,214 And don't keep touching me! 352 00:22:56,882 --> 00:22:59,134 For a moment I thought my legs might go 353 00:22:59,134 --> 00:23:01,052 That's no reason to cling on 354 00:23:01,052 --> 00:23:03,930 Let yourself fall to the ground natural-like 355 00:23:03,930 --> 00:23:05,056 Thank you 356 00:23:15,942 --> 00:23:17,736 I can't do it with anyone I know watching 357 00:23:17,736 --> 00:23:19,654 You've got to be professional my dear 358 00:23:19,654 --> 00:23:21,197 But I'm nervous 359 00:23:21,197 --> 00:23:22,073 So am I 360 00:23:22,073 --> 00:23:23,950 I am frightened, okay? 361 00:23:23,950 --> 00:23:27,287 Mr Russell ... if you don't mind ... 362 00:23:27,287 --> 00:23:28,288 What? 363 00:23:28,288 --> 00:23:30,832 Could you, please ... 364 00:23:40,508 --> 00:23:42,719 Thank you and goodnight 365 00:24:30,433 --> 00:24:32,268 Everything all right? 366 00:24:32,686 --> 00:24:36,690 You won't be able to do it if you can't relax and let people look at you 367 00:24:36,940 --> 00:24:39,901 It's the human form, as it is 368 00:24:39,901 --> 00:24:42,862 naked, in its weakness and beauty 369 00:24:42,862 --> 00:24:44,322 Oh, yeah? 370 00:24:45,657 --> 00:24:47,617 What would your mother say? 371 00:24:48,243 --> 00:24:50,954 She says if I weren't born she'd be better off 372 00:24:54,249 --> 00:24:56,751 - Is this it? - This is it 373 00:25:08,763 --> 00:25:13,518 There. You see? 374 00:25:15,395 --> 00:25:16,896 Is her name Venus? 375 00:25:16,896 --> 00:25:20,525 No. Venus is a goddess 376 00:25:20,775 --> 00:25:23,069 Accompanied by Eros ... 377 00:25:23,069 --> 00:25:25,697 she creates love and desire in us mortals 378 00:25:25,697 --> 00:25:29,617 leading often to foolishness and despair 379 00:25:29,868 --> 00:25:32,078 The usual shit 380 00:25:33,621 --> 00:25:35,832 For most men ... 381 00:25:36,750 --> 00:25:41,087 a woman's body is the most beautiful thing they will ever see 382 00:25:42,922 --> 00:25:46,009 What's the most beautiful thing a girl sees? 383 00:25:46,593 --> 00:25:48,053 Do you know? 384 00:25:49,304 --> 00:25:51,431 Her first child 385 00:25:57,437 --> 00:25:58,897 Are you all right? 386 00:25:59,773 --> 00:26:02,567 I'm not doing any more of that modeling, I can tell you that 387 00:26:02,567 --> 00:26:05,028 The model for Venus was a real woman, just like you ... 388 00:26:05,028 --> 00:26:06,905 that's what caused all the fuss 389 00:26:07,739 --> 00:26:09,199 Do a bit then 390 00:26:09,449 --> 00:26:10,658 Now? 391 00:26:10,658 --> 00:26:12,577 If you're so good at it 392 00:26:14,454 --> 00:26:17,290 Is this a dagger which I see before me 393 00:26:17,707 --> 00:26:20,460 The handle toward my hand? 394 00:26:20,460 --> 00:26:23,880 Come, let me clutch thee 395 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,299 I have thee not, and yet I see thee still 396 00:26:26,299 --> 00:26:28,718 Now, tell me, who wrote that? 397 00:26:28,718 --> 00:26:29,928 I dunno 398 00:26:29,928 --> 00:26:31,387 Really? 399 00:26:31,763 --> 00:26:35,141 All right then, smart-arse, what about this? 400 00:26:35,141 --> 00:26:38,228 I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky 401 00:26:38,228 --> 00:26:40,105 I should be so lucky ... 402 00:26:40,105 --> 00:26:42,941 Well? -- Who wrote it? 403 00:26:43,108 --> 00:26:44,150 Not a clue 404 00:26:44,150 --> 00:26:45,527 Well, there you are then 405 00:26:48,154 --> 00:26:50,615 Hey, it's like a beach down there 406 00:26:53,993 --> 00:26:58,289 I lived by the sea when I was a child 407 00:27:00,875 --> 00:27:03,294 It always calms me 408 00:27:06,422 --> 00:27:09,342 Shall we go to the seaside, Venus? 409 00:27:09,342 --> 00:27:11,386 I'd rather go to Topshop 410 00:27:14,430 --> 00:27:16,432 I'll take you to lunch 411 00:27:16,432 --> 00:27:17,851 Take me somewhere posh 412 00:27:17,851 --> 00:27:18,935 Posh? 413 00:27:18,935 --> 00:27:21,980 I want to meet someone really famous, not just you 414 00:27:24,607 --> 00:27:26,067 Who are these bastards? 415 00:27:26,067 --> 00:27:28,945 Some of these arseholes were very well-known 416 00:27:29,237 --> 00:27:30,864 For what? 417 00:27:31,030 --> 00:27:32,907 You cheer me up, you know 418 00:27:32,907 --> 00:27:34,033 You have a laugh at me, don't you? 419 00:27:34,033 --> 00:27:34,701 Just a little 420 00:27:34,701 --> 00:27:35,618 I'll get you back 421 00:27:35,618 --> 00:27:36,286 You will 422 00:27:36,286 --> 00:27:37,704 Don't you worry 423 00:27:45,962 --> 00:27:47,714 Keep still 424 00:27:48,089 --> 00:27:49,632 It's not surgery 425 00:27:49,632 --> 00:27:51,801 I don't trust you 426 00:27:54,304 --> 00:27:56,723 Got it. A palpable hit 427 00:27:57,223 --> 00:27:59,726 But where has the little fucker gone? 428 00:27:59,726 --> 00:28:01,936 Who cares? It's free now 429 00:28:01,936 --> 00:28:05,732 I can't have my home scattered with toenails 430 00:28:05,732 --> 00:28:09,152 Oh God. I'll have to get my other glasses 431 00:28:09,152 --> 00:28:11,321 They're around your fucking neck 432 00:28:13,114 --> 00:28:14,532 Thank you 433 00:28:15,158 --> 00:28:17,535 Where's that bastard toenail? 434 00:28:17,744 --> 00:28:21,414 There's the little fucker 435 00:28:21,414 --> 00:28:23,750 Yes! 436 00:28:23,750 --> 00:28:25,168 How's Valerie? 437 00:28:25,168 --> 00:28:28,171 Phoning me continuously with complaints 438 00:28:28,713 --> 00:28:30,757 You're her husband 439 00:28:30,757 --> 00:28:31,674 Am I? 440 00:28:31,674 --> 00:28:36,638 You did one of yours runners, if you remember 441 00:28:36,638 --> 00:28:41,517 Did I? But I never wanted to be independent 442 00:28:42,018 --> 00:28:43,478 How you wanted 443 00:28:46,898 --> 00:28:51,736 I am about to die and I know nothing about myself 444 00:28:54,239 --> 00:28:57,367 You have been loved, though, Maurice 445 00:28:58,618 --> 00:29:00,536 You've been adored 446 00:29:00,536 --> 00:29:06,834 Yes. And so have you, Ian, a little bit 447 00:29:07,252 --> 00:29:10,213 Except you didn't always notice it 448 00:29:13,341 --> 00:29:16,010 God, my bloody back! 449 00:29:31,442 --> 00:29:33,987 To keep the little minx away from you... 450 00:29:33,987 --> 00:29:36,906 I'm going to sacrifice my day by taking her shopping 451 00:29:36,906 --> 00:29:37,907 Marvellous 452 00:29:37,907 --> 00:29:40,285 But I'll need 20 quid for refreshments 453 00:29:41,077 --> 00:29:41,744 Done 454 00:29:41,744 --> 00:29:44,622 Good boy. What are you going to do? 455 00:29:44,622 --> 00:29:48,501 I need to lie down. She's exhausted me 456 00:29:48,668 --> 00:29:51,587 I'm going to have a pre-nap nap 457 00:29:51,587 --> 00:29:52,880 Where is she? 458 00:29:53,256 --> 00:29:55,174 Dead, I'm sure of it 459 00:29:55,174 --> 00:29:57,093 Are you absolutely certain? 460 00:29:57,510 --> 00:30:01,014 There will be no sign of life for several hours 461 00:30:15,778 --> 00:30:17,405 Don't do that 462 00:30:22,285 --> 00:30:24,370 Coming with me today? 463 00:30:28,166 --> 00:30:29,917 You want me to? 464 00:30:37,967 --> 00:30:39,135 Okay 465 00:30:40,219 --> 00:30:41,846 Get up then 466 00:30:43,139 --> 00:30:45,141 I haven't got anything to wear 467 00:30:45,141 --> 00:30:49,896 I can't think of anything more enraging, my dear 468 00:31:23,346 --> 00:31:24,722 If you try and look at me, I'll ... 469 00:31:24,722 --> 00:31:25,890 Look? 470 00:31:26,057 --> 00:31:28,810 I am losing the will to live, Venus 471 00:31:28,976 --> 00:31:31,479 I'll rip your eyes out and stick them up your arse! 472 00:31:43,199 --> 00:31:44,826 Does it suit me? 473 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:47,537 Yes 474 00:31:50,206 --> 00:31:51,999 Oh, yes 475 00:31:53,209 --> 00:31:54,752 In what way? 476 00:31:55,461 --> 00:31:57,547 In all possible ways 477 00:31:58,506 --> 00:32:01,676 It goes with your ... 478 00:32:03,219 --> 00:32:04,637 What? 479 00:32:04,637 --> 00:32:06,681 Nail varnish 480 00:32:07,974 --> 00:32:10,184 I'm not wearing nail varnish 481 00:32:13,479 --> 00:32:15,189 It's beautiful 482 00:32:22,572 --> 00:32:23,698 Next? 483 00:32:25,032 --> 00:32:27,910 Hello there. It's lovely, isn't it? 484 00:32:27,910 --> 00:32:29,078 Maurice 485 00:32:29,954 --> 00:32:31,289 Thank you 486 00:32:31,289 --> 00:32:32,748 How will you be paying, sir? 487 00:32:33,207 --> 00:32:35,293 Oh, er, yes, right er ... 488 00:32:45,761 --> 00:32:47,305 What's that? 489 00:32:47,597 --> 00:32:50,433 One of Uncle Ian's toenail clippings 490 00:32:50,433 --> 00:32:52,143 Oh my God! 491 00:32:52,143 --> 00:32:56,063 Otherwise, I'm afraid, I've only got a 20 492 00:32:57,273 --> 00:32:58,608 Next? 493 00:33:00,776 --> 00:33:01,903 Jessie? 494 00:33:04,030 --> 00:33:05,323 Jessie! 495 00:33:07,742 --> 00:33:10,036 You humiliated me! 496 00:33:10,786 --> 00:33:13,039 That will teach you! 497 00:33:13,039 --> 00:33:14,790 But weren't we gonna have lunch? 498 00:33:14,790 --> 00:33:16,876 I never wanna see you again! 499 00:33:16,876 --> 00:33:19,545 Now I can never go back into that shop! 500 00:33:47,698 --> 00:33:48,991 You ready? 501 00:33:48,991 --> 00:33:50,576 Christ! 502 00:33:51,118 --> 00:33:52,370 Will it hurt? 503 00:33:52,370 --> 00:33:54,121 Only if you struggle 504 00:33:54,664 --> 00:33:56,040 Come on now 505 00:33:56,666 --> 00:33:58,501 Now this might be a bit cold 506 00:33:59,752 --> 00:34:01,462 It's all right 507 00:34:03,422 --> 00:34:05,299 Now just relax 508 00:34:05,841 --> 00:34:07,468 Jesus! 509 00:34:07,468 --> 00:34:09,178 Everything all right here? 510 00:34:09,178 --> 00:34:11,138 I've done hundreds of these 511 00:34:11,138 --> 00:34:14,392 There's a strong chance of impotence and incontinence 512 00:34:14,392 --> 00:34:17,311 But you won't be dead. And that is a result 513 00:34:17,311 --> 00:34:19,480 Okay, let's get him to theatre 514 00:34:22,817 --> 00:34:26,696 I've always liked the theatre 515 00:34:30,575 --> 00:34:32,535 Why didn't you tell me? 516 00:34:32,535 --> 00:34:34,161 Oh, you know 517 00:34:34,912 --> 00:34:37,373 I didn't want to think about it 518 00:34:38,708 --> 00:34:41,210 I hate sympathy 519 00:34:41,210 --> 00:34:43,796 But you wouldn't have got any from me 520 00:34:44,213 --> 00:34:47,049 I know. You're a true friend 521 00:34:47,049 --> 00:34:48,259 Yes 522 00:34:49,218 --> 00:34:51,012 How's the nurse? 523 00:34:51,220 --> 00:34:55,182 It's agony. I told her to be on her way 524 00:34:55,808 --> 00:34:57,685 Where will she go? 525 00:34:58,185 --> 00:35:00,021 That's up to her 526 00:35:01,105 --> 00:35:04,609 They always need people in Africa, I hear 527 00:35:07,361 --> 00:35:10,197 It hardly seems worth going home 528 00:35:23,794 --> 00:35:26,255 Why not! ? I am a free man! 529 00:35:26,255 --> 00:35:29,550 We wouldn't recommend it for someone so soon after an operation 530 00:35:29,550 --> 00:35:31,344 Why don't you wait to see the doctor? 531 00:35:31,344 --> 00:35:33,262 Because there are people I need to see! 532 00:35:33,262 --> 00:35:34,347 Can't they come here? 533 00:35:34,347 --> 00:35:35,723 No! 534 00:35:52,031 --> 00:35:53,366 Hello 535 00:35:54,116 --> 00:35:55,534 Hello, Jessie 536 00:35:55,534 --> 00:35:56,577 It's you 537 00:35:56,577 --> 00:36:00,665 Yes, it is ...more or less 538 00:36:01,999 --> 00:36:04,001 Why didn't you tell me you were having an operation? 539 00:36:04,001 --> 00:36:06,087 I didn't want to cheer you up 540 00:36:06,796 --> 00:36:08,089 Here you are 541 00:36:12,468 --> 00:36:14,637 Free at last 542 00:36:14,637 --> 00:36:15,930 I'm glad 543 00:36:16,639 --> 00:36:18,015 What? 544 00:36:18,474 --> 00:36:22,770 I'm glad. You know ...I'm glad you're back 545 00:36:33,197 --> 00:36:36,867 Well, well, well. How are you, my old fruit? 546 00:36:37,076 --> 00:36:40,079 Do you think Jessie will cut my toenails? 547 00:36:41,122 --> 00:36:45,209 I wouldn't let her near my body with anything sharp 548 00:36:45,376 --> 00:36:46,711 No 549 00:36:46,711 --> 00:36:48,462 What's that smell? 550 00:36:48,838 --> 00:36:49,797 Cologne 551 00:36:49,797 --> 00:36:51,757 Oh God 552 00:36:51,966 --> 00:36:55,636 Get rid of it! It's making me vertiginous! 553 00:36:55,636 --> 00:36:57,304 Drinks, gentlemen? 554 00:36:58,806 --> 00:37:00,975 This is unusual, Jessie 555 00:37:02,768 --> 00:37:04,979 Are you on ketamine 556 00:37:05,438 --> 00:37:08,482 GBH or just the mushrooms? 557 00:37:08,482 --> 00:37:10,192 Very good, uncle 558 00:37:10,192 --> 00:37:12,611 You see, Maurice, I'm contemporary 559 00:37:12,611 --> 00:37:13,738 Right 560 00:37:13,904 --> 00:37:18,367 I can't see. Put it somewhere else 561 00:37:18,367 --> 00:37:18,951 Where? 562 00:37:18,951 --> 00:37:22,830 Somewhere else. Where you like, there, over there 563 00:37:22,830 --> 00:37:26,834 God, I can't breathe! 564 00:37:26,834 --> 00:37:28,335 Stop shouting then 565 00:37:28,335 --> 00:37:31,297 I can't get through to you otherwise! 566 00:37:31,297 --> 00:37:33,132 Oh, no. No 567 00:37:33,132 --> 00:37:34,508 What now? 568 00:37:34,508 --> 00:37:40,473 Everyone knows you don't put milk in lemon tea 569 00:37:40,473 --> 00:37:42,224 You like milk 570 00:37:42,224 --> 00:37:45,060 I've told you, only on my cereal 571 00:37:45,060 --> 00:37:47,104 Not on anything else 572 00:37:47,104 --> 00:37:48,898 You like it in your hot chocolate 573 00:37:48,898 --> 00:37:49,857 What? 574 00:37:49,857 --> 00:37:52,985 I said you like it in your hot chocolate 575 00:37:52,985 --> 00:37:55,446 God! I'm exhausted 576 00:37:55,446 --> 00:37:59,492 Fan me, Maurice, before I expire 577 00:37:59,492 --> 00:38:01,202 Nuts, anyone? 578 00:38:03,245 --> 00:38:06,707 Bloody nuts! God 579 00:38:07,249 --> 00:38:11,003 I can't wait to get back to work. I'll take anything 580 00:38:11,003 --> 00:38:11,712 Really? 581 00:38:11,712 --> 00:38:15,674 Except corpses. No, I don't need that 582 00:38:15,674 --> 00:38:17,593 I've cornered the market there 583 00:38:17,593 --> 00:38:20,554 If I don't get anything I'll write my memoirs 584 00:38:20,554 --> 00:38:21,972 That shouldn't take long 585 00:38:23,098 --> 00:38:24,517 What? 586 00:38:27,311 --> 00:38:31,649 What do you do to her at your age? 587 00:38:31,982 --> 00:38:34,401 It's a very difficult thing 588 00:38:34,944 --> 00:38:36,737 But I'm nice to her 589 00:38:36,737 --> 00:38:37,905 Yeah? 590 00:38:40,115 --> 00:38:42,034 I'll make you a cup of tea 591 00:38:42,409 --> 00:38:43,786 Thank you 592 00:39:10,020 --> 00:39:12,523 I will die soon, Venus 593 00:39:14,358 --> 00:39:16,610 Can I touch your hand? 594 00:39:16,610 --> 00:39:18,529 That's one chat up line I haven't heard 595 00:39:18,529 --> 00:39:20,865 I'm impotent, of course 596 00:39:20,865 --> 00:39:22,533 Thank Christ 597 00:39:22,825 --> 00:39:26,412 But I can still take a theoretical interest 598 00:39:32,251 --> 00:39:34,003 Have you been thinking about me? 599 00:39:34,003 --> 00:39:36,797 All the time I was in hospital 600 00:39:39,550 --> 00:39:41,677 What did you think about me? 601 00:39:42,344 --> 00:39:44,430 I saw your body 602 00:39:46,891 --> 00:39:48,809 Which part? 603 00:39:50,436 --> 00:39:52,229 Your hair 604 00:39:53,355 --> 00:39:55,024 Your feet 605 00:39:56,358 --> 00:39:59,987 Your legs, your behind, your eyes 606 00:40:00,821 --> 00:40:02,531 My eyes? 607 00:40:02,531 --> 00:40:04,325 Your elbows 608 00:40:04,825 --> 00:40:06,702 Your cunt 609 00:40:12,207 --> 00:40:13,584 Oh, shut up 610 00:40:24,303 --> 00:40:26,472 You can touch my hand 611 00:40:57,336 --> 00:40:59,380 Only with your fingers 612 00:41:00,339 --> 00:41:02,549 Anything else will make me vomitous 613 00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:08,764 Can I ask you ... 614 00:41:11,350 --> 00:41:14,311 have you ever been in love before? 615 00:41:26,490 --> 00:41:31,203 I can do it. I want to do it. I'm well enough. I need the money 616 00:41:33,914 --> 00:41:37,292 Thank you. But I will need a big car 617 00:41:39,128 --> 00:41:41,922 Yeah, an enormous fucker 618 00:41:43,841 --> 00:41:45,759 You must be really famous 619 00:41:45,759 --> 00:41:48,012 I am, I am 620 00:41:49,805 --> 00:41:52,141 It's a really important role 621 00:41:52,558 --> 00:41:55,436 The linchpin of the story 622 00:41:56,687 --> 00:41:59,064 Yup, it's also a speaking part 623 00:42:00,649 --> 00:42:03,569 I'll explain everything to you on the way 624 00:42:04,069 --> 00:42:06,447 I think you should work in films 625 00:42:06,822 --> 00:42:07,573 Do you? 626 00:42:07,573 --> 00:42:09,241 Definitely, yes 627 00:42:10,576 --> 00:42:12,661 Hey, can we open the roof? 628 00:42:32,639 --> 00:42:34,600 This is wicked! 629 00:42:36,185 --> 00:42:40,439 Turn it up, my man! 630 00:43:22,064 --> 00:43:25,818 You will see how fickle men are in love 631 00:43:25,818 --> 00:43:26,902 just like women 632 00:43:26,902 --> 00:43:30,447 I will not believe it until I see it with my own eyes 633 00:43:30,447 --> 00:43:31,698 They come 634 00:43:34,535 --> 00:43:35,786 You were in love with another? 635 00:43:35,786 --> 00:43:37,412 I don't love you! 636 00:43:37,412 --> 00:43:40,833 But my body cannot do without your hands! 637 00:43:43,085 --> 00:43:44,378 You see ... 638 00:43:46,171 --> 00:43:50,050 that when it comes to love, men... 639 00:43:55,180 --> 00:43:56,723 End board 640 00:43:57,141 --> 00:43:58,517 Are you okay, Maurice? 641 00:43:58,517 --> 00:43:59,726 Someone bring him a chair 642 00:43:59,726 --> 00:44:00,978 It's hot 643 00:44:01,603 --> 00:44:03,105 These clothes are heavy 644 00:44:11,488 --> 00:44:14,074 Barry. Barry? 645 00:44:21,915 --> 00:44:25,878 All right. We're gonna have to move on, then we can ... 646 00:44:25,878 --> 00:44:27,379 All right, that's fine, cool 647 00:44:27,379 --> 00:44:29,381 Let's give him two minutes, right 648 00:44:32,134 --> 00:44:33,635 Okay 649 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:39,933 Ready 650 00:44:42,853 --> 00:44:46,690 I am sorry, my love, but we must part for good 651 00:44:48,609 --> 00:44:50,694 I am not the man to make you happy 652 00:44:50,694 --> 00:44:53,113 and so we must say goodbye 653 00:45:03,665 --> 00:45:06,877 Oh, sure. Sure 654 00:45:09,671 --> 00:45:12,382 How does she do it? I could never have done that 655 00:45:12,382 --> 00:45:13,800 I'm sure you could 656 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:15,802 I didn't realise it was so hard 657 00:45:16,845 --> 00:45:18,430 It's brilliant 658 00:45:18,597 --> 00:45:19,848 I could never do that 659 00:45:19,848 --> 00:45:23,143 Mind you, she's terribly pretty 660 00:45:24,686 --> 00:45:25,812 Am I not? 661 00:45:25,812 --> 00:45:27,105 Oh, Venus! 662 00:45:27,105 --> 00:45:29,775 Now you've upset me. Jesus, Maurice, do you never learn? 663 00:45:29,775 --> 00:45:31,235 - Sorry. - You will be 664 00:45:31,235 --> 00:45:33,820 My dear, will you pass me my trousers? 665 00:45:42,287 --> 00:45:43,789 What is that? 666 00:45:43,789 --> 00:45:44,873 A catheter 667 00:45:44,873 --> 00:45:45,874 Oh my God 668 00:45:45,874 --> 00:45:46,792 I think it's leaking 669 00:45:46,792 --> 00:45:49,795 Well, I don't want it on my shoes. You're always dripping, Maurice 670 00:45:49,795 --> 00:45:50,545 Oh, hold on 671 00:45:50,545 --> 00:45:53,006 There's always bits of you where there shouldn't be 672 00:45:53,215 --> 00:45:54,841 Pass me that towel 673 00:46:01,723 --> 00:46:03,016 Come in 674 00:46:04,142 --> 00:46:06,353 - You asked for cash? - Thank you 675 00:46:09,898 --> 00:46:12,192 I wonder if the shops are open 676 00:46:14,611 --> 00:46:16,071 Do you think they'll suit me? 677 00:46:16,071 --> 00:46:17,656 I don't know 678 00:46:17,823 --> 00:46:19,616 Let me look at your ears 679 00:46:22,411 --> 00:46:23,328 Don't touch 680 00:46:23,328 --> 00:46:25,205 I know, I know 681 00:46:27,624 --> 00:46:28,959 Come on 682 00:46:30,085 --> 00:46:32,254 Have you got the bloody money this time? 683 00:46:32,254 --> 00:46:36,591 Oh, yes. Tons of it. I've got a pocketful 684 00:46:54,484 --> 00:46:56,653 I think I'm gonna wear these tonight 685 00:47:00,615 --> 00:47:01,950 Venus ... 686 00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:07,497 you will look like a movie star 687 00:47:29,811 --> 00:47:32,731 Is there an old man odour? 688 00:47:34,149 --> 00:47:36,276 Not so much this evening 689 00:47:37,319 --> 00:47:38,945 I wonder why 690 00:47:43,075 --> 00:47:45,452 You can kiss my shoulders 691 00:47:45,827 --> 00:47:47,287 Can I? 692 00:47:48,455 --> 00:47:50,123 Three kisses 693 00:48:03,678 --> 00:48:05,138 Three, I said! 694 00:48:05,389 --> 00:48:08,517 And no licking and burping, you dirty filthy little shithead 695 00:48:12,979 --> 00:48:15,190 Oh, you please me 696 00:48:15,649 --> 00:48:17,234 And you me 697 00:48:29,955 --> 00:48:32,916 Steady, steady ... 698 00:48:35,335 --> 00:48:38,797 I'm just out of intensive care 699 00:48:42,843 --> 00:48:44,886 You ask for it, Maurice 700 00:48:44,886 --> 00:48:47,681 You know you do, with your forwardness 701 00:48:54,688 --> 00:48:57,357 Don't you believe in anything, Maurice? 702 00:49:01,528 --> 00:49:03,613 Pleasure, I like 703 00:49:05,073 --> 00:49:07,451 I've tried to give pleasure 704 00:49:08,869 --> 00:49:11,830 That's all I'd recommend to anyone 705 00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:16,751 You've made me sticky with your slug tongue 706 00:49:18,420 --> 00:49:20,172 I think I'll have a bath 707 00:49:22,299 --> 00:49:24,050 Well, well 708 00:49:25,927 --> 00:49:27,888 I'll run it for you 709 00:49:35,729 --> 00:49:41,318 This other man ... the other man who loved you 710 00:49:42,319 --> 00:49:44,362 was he not kind to you? 711 00:49:44,988 --> 00:49:48,909 He was kind ...for a time 712 00:49:50,619 --> 00:49:52,496 Promised me things 713 00:49:53,246 --> 00:49:55,040 He bought me stuff 714 00:49:57,584 --> 00:49:59,544 We had champagne 715 00:50:00,504 --> 00:50:02,506 And there were roses 716 00:50:03,298 --> 00:50:05,175 Then you got pregnant 717 00:50:07,677 --> 00:50:09,137 Does everyone know? 718 00:50:09,137 --> 00:50:11,723 It's happened to girls before 719 00:50:18,605 --> 00:50:24,945 Then ...then he stopped being kind 720 00:50:27,113 --> 00:50:29,282 He went the other way 721 00:50:31,034 --> 00:50:33,453 A long way that way 722 00:50:37,707 --> 00:50:39,834 He were engaged 723 00:50:40,627 --> 00:50:42,462 I didn't know 724 00:50:46,633 --> 00:50:49,094 It wasn't a miscarriage 725 00:50:51,012 --> 00:50:53,098 My mum called it that 726 00:50:57,894 --> 00:50:59,980 It were an abortion 727 00:51:02,691 --> 00:51:05,026 And she made me 728 00:51:06,278 --> 00:51:07,571 Terrible 729 00:51:08,697 --> 00:51:12,158 Yeah 730 00:51:23,712 --> 00:51:26,840 Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 731 00:51:27,507 --> 00:51:30,510 Thou art more lovely and more temperate 732 00:51:31,553 --> 00:51:35,015 Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May 733 00:51:35,015 --> 00:51:39,019 And summer's lease hath all too short a date: 734 00:51:39,519 --> 00:51:43,898 Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines 735 00:51:44,149 --> 00:51:48,236 And oft' is his gold complextion dimm'd; 736 00:51:48,236 --> 00:51:52,699 And every fair from fair some time declines 737 00:51:52,699 --> 00:51:57,245 By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd; 738 00:51:58,246 --> 00:52:02,626 But thy eternal summer shall not fade 739 00:52:02,626 --> 00:52:06,546 Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st; 740 00:52:06,546 --> 00:52:10,925 Nor shall Death brag thou wand'rest in his shade 741 00:52:10,925 --> 00:52:15,722 When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st 742 00:52:16,598 --> 00:52:21,561 So long as men can breathe and eyes can see 743 00:52:21,728 --> 00:52:27,317 So long live this, and this gives life to thee 744 00:52:37,327 --> 00:52:38,787 Venus? 745 00:52:48,755 --> 00:52:50,131 Thank you 746 00:52:50,715 --> 00:52:52,425 You look wonderful 747 00:52:54,052 --> 00:52:55,470 Luminous 748 00:52:56,221 --> 00:52:57,555 Bright 749 00:52:59,808 --> 00:53:01,518 Startling 750 00:53:01,518 --> 00:53:03,061 Do I? 751 00:53:09,150 --> 00:53:10,819 That story I told you ... 752 00:53:10,819 --> 00:53:11,986 Yes 753 00:53:13,613 --> 00:53:15,198 You don't think I'm low, do you? 754 00:53:15,198 --> 00:53:16,491 No 755 00:53:18,118 --> 00:53:19,536 Let's have dinner 756 00:53:19,536 --> 00:53:21,663 No, Maurice, I'm going out 757 00:53:24,207 --> 00:53:25,750 What a shame 758 00:53:27,377 --> 00:53:29,254 Anywhere nice? 759 00:53:29,254 --> 00:53:30,630 A party 760 00:53:31,297 --> 00:53:32,632 Alone? 761 00:53:32,632 --> 00:53:34,008 With a boy 762 00:53:35,510 --> 00:53:37,220 Jolly good 763 00:53:38,638 --> 00:53:39,889 Which boy? 764 00:53:39,889 --> 00:53:41,433 Keep your nose out 765 00:53:41,433 --> 00:53:42,767 Of course 766 00:53:45,019 --> 00:53:49,649 You can go to the party for an hour and we can meet later 767 00:53:49,649 --> 00:53:51,443 It's an all-night party 768 00:53:51,651 --> 00:53:52,986 Right 769 00:53:54,195 --> 00:53:56,740 How will you stay up all night? 770 00:53:56,740 --> 00:53:58,199 I'll manage 771 00:53:59,159 --> 00:54:00,827 Uncle Ian will worry 772 00:54:00,827 --> 00:54:02,495 It's all right, I've already asked him 773 00:54:02,495 --> 00:54:04,372 He'll be pleased to get rid of me 774 00:54:04,372 --> 00:54:06,499 I don't think he likes me very much 775 00:54:06,499 --> 00:54:07,917 He thinks I'm horrible 776 00:54:07,917 --> 00:54:11,755 He does. But I like you, Venus 777 00:54:13,715 --> 00:54:15,425 I love you 778 00:54:18,553 --> 00:54:19,846 Bye 779 00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:22,724 Can we meet tomorrow? 780 00:54:23,016 --> 00:54:26,186 Yeah, okay. I'll meet you after lunch, by the canal 781 00:54:28,229 --> 00:54:30,190 Thanks for the earrings 782 00:55:25,537 --> 00:55:26,579 Hello 783 00:55:26,746 --> 00:55:28,122 Hello 784 00:55:28,122 --> 00:55:30,375 Have I forgotten? Did I invite you? 785 00:55:30,375 --> 00:55:32,627 No, I invited you 786 00:55:32,877 --> 00:55:34,629 And I wanted to see you 787 00:55:35,922 --> 00:55:37,298 Did you? 788 00:55:39,217 --> 00:55:40,593 Good God 789 00:55:45,682 --> 00:55:46,891 Maurice 790 00:55:47,851 --> 00:55:50,687 Maurice! Quickly! 791 00:55:50,687 --> 00:55:53,648 Why do you keep shouting when I am cooking? 792 00:55:53,648 --> 00:55:57,110 You're on TV. Look, look 793 00:55:59,612 --> 00:56:01,906 Oh, Christ! 794 00:56:03,074 --> 00:56:05,410 How handsome you were 795 00:56:07,787 --> 00:56:09,372 And there's that woman ... 796 00:56:09,372 --> 00:56:10,790 Yeah, yeah 797 00:56:10,790 --> 00:56:13,042 ... who took you away from us 798 00:56:15,420 --> 00:56:16,963 It's burning 799 00:56:16,963 --> 00:56:19,132 You will burn, Maurice 800 00:56:19,132 --> 00:56:20,466 Yes, dear 801 00:56:23,261 --> 00:56:25,138 It's very good 802 00:56:34,188 --> 00:56:36,232 You were a good mother 803 00:56:39,027 --> 00:56:42,238 I rather left you holding the baby, didn't I? 804 00:56:42,238 --> 00:56:46,618 You did do that. Three children under six, to be exact 805 00:56:47,035 --> 00:56:49,787 I can see it must have been ... 806 00:56:50,371 --> 00:56:51,748 inconvenient 807 00:56:51,748 --> 00:56:54,334 That you put your own pleasure first? 808 00:56:59,213 --> 00:57:01,049 I did love you 809 00:57:04,427 --> 00:57:06,095 For a time 810 00:57:07,138 --> 00:57:10,683 And for the rest of the time, I was fond of you 811 00:57:10,683 --> 00:57:11,893 Please, no, don't 812 00:57:11,893 --> 00:57:12,852 More than fond of you 813 00:57:12,852 --> 00:57:17,690 No, you don't have to. I don't want it 814 00:57:19,859 --> 00:57:22,320 It's my goodbye to you 815 00:57:22,695 --> 00:57:24,572 Why, where are you going? 816 00:57:36,876 --> 00:57:38,878 We won't live forever 817 00:57:38,878 --> 00:57:46,878 No 818 00:59:44,670 --> 00:59:47,173 You looked rather forlorn 819 00:59:47,173 --> 00:59:50,718 This is a rare treat, my friend 820 00:59:51,427 --> 00:59:54,097 There are no pockets in a shroud 821 00:59:56,349 --> 00:59:59,644 Oh God, it's a long way up -- eh? 822 01:00:04,816 --> 01:00:07,360 '57, I first saw you 823 01:00:08,152 --> 01:00:08,861 It was? 824 01:00:08,861 --> 01:00:11,656 You were a strapping Laertes 825 01:00:11,656 --> 01:00:15,576 Strapping? Yeah, sounds like me 826 01:00:15,576 --> 01:00:18,162 The Ophelia was something of a minger 827 01:00:18,579 --> 01:00:21,582 You wore a kilt, if I'm not mistaken 828 01:00:22,125 --> 01:00:24,836 Bloody Peter Hall ... 829 01:00:29,549 --> 01:00:32,301 I love this horrible place 830 01:00:33,636 --> 01:00:39,809 It reminds me ... of what I wanted to become 831 01:00:43,980 --> 01:00:45,857 Another large one? 832 01:00:49,318 --> 01:00:50,486 Yes 833 01:00:55,116 --> 01:00:59,078 Come on -- I've got a good idea 834 01:00:59,078 --> 01:01:02,707 What? What? 835 01:01:02,707 --> 01:01:04,792 - You'll see. - What? 836 01:01:04,792 --> 01:01:06,085 You'll see 837 01:01:06,711 --> 01:01:08,296 Shit ... 838 01:01:11,799 --> 01:01:13,759 Oh God 839 01:01:15,261 --> 01:01:19,223 You must protect ...the old man 840 01:01:36,157 --> 01:01:37,825 Boris Karloff 841 01:01:37,825 --> 01:01:40,661 Yeah, I know. He was a sweetie, apparently 842 01:01:42,079 --> 01:01:44,207 Mr Pratt 843 01:01:45,416 --> 01:01:49,295 Robert Shaw. Richard Beckinsale 844 01:01:52,006 --> 01:01:55,009 They're running out of room here 845 01:01:56,844 --> 01:02:00,223 Luckily 'Ian' isn't a long name 846 01:02:19,242 --> 01:02:20,785 Shall we? 847 01:02:21,535 --> 01:02:29,535 Oh, yes 848 01:03:53,961 --> 01:03:56,255 I'm sorry I didn't come to meet you 849 01:03:59,550 --> 01:04:01,344 You can smell my neck 850 01:04:02,011 --> 01:04:03,512 I can? 851 01:04:03,512 --> 01:04:04,889 You can 852 01:04:05,765 --> 01:04:07,350 No kissing 853 01:04:07,641 --> 01:04:10,061 That would make me never come back 854 01:04:10,853 --> 01:04:12,521 I understand 855 01:04:39,048 --> 01:04:41,300 You like to do this, don't you? 856 01:04:41,300 --> 01:04:44,720 There really isn't anything else 857 01:04:45,096 --> 01:04:47,473 - Maurice ... - Yes? 858 01:04:48,599 --> 01:04:50,309 I want something 859 01:04:50,976 --> 01:04:52,436 You do? 860 01:04:53,604 --> 01:04:56,732 I'm sure it's something I'll have to think about 861 01:04:57,400 --> 01:04:59,151 For how long? 862 01:04:59,652 --> 01:05:01,237 I don't know 863 01:05:09,203 --> 01:05:11,664 Why don't we move things on a little? 864 01:05:11,664 --> 01:05:13,624 How could we do that? 865 01:05:16,377 --> 01:05:18,087 I want to give you a treat 866 01:05:18,087 --> 01:05:19,130 You do? 867 01:05:19,130 --> 01:05:21,006 I want to cheer you up 868 01:05:21,006 --> 01:05:23,509 Yes? How? 869 01:05:25,553 --> 01:05:27,138 How? 870 01:05:27,388 --> 01:05:28,806 Watch 871 01:06:14,310 --> 01:06:16,061 Thanks, Maurice 872 01:07:00,731 --> 01:07:02,858 Sit, please. Sit 873 01:07:23,963 --> 01:07:26,048 You insult me 874 01:07:26,048 --> 01:07:30,219 On the contrary, the insult is on the other side 875 01:07:30,219 --> 01:07:31,387 How so? 876 01:07:31,387 --> 01:07:34,265 Do I look like a fool? Do I? 877 01:07:35,516 --> 01:07:36,475 Answer me 878 01:07:36,475 --> 01:07:39,353 Don't tempt me, I haven't had my tranquillizer yet 879 01:07:39,353 --> 01:07:42,773 Yes, you're easily tempted, as we know 880 01:07:42,773 --> 01:07:48,696 I've been questioning ... my niece's daughter very closely 881 01:07:48,696 --> 01:07:50,364 in search in search of the facts 882 01:07:50,364 --> 01:07:52,491 You begged me to find her work 883 01:07:52,491 --> 01:07:55,369 You have degraded that girl 884 01:07:55,369 --> 01:08:00,583 Jessie is a shy provincial ...girl 885 01:08:00,583 --> 01:08:04,545 To take advantage of such a vulnerable young person ... 886 01:08:04,545 --> 01:08:09,049 to take her to drinking establishments ... ply her with alcohol ... 887 01:08:09,049 --> 01:08:11,844 She plied me 888 01:08:12,011 --> 01:08:13,554 Oh, really? 889 01:08:13,554 --> 01:08:20,603 Yes, well ...did you buy these? 890 01:08:24,189 --> 01:08:25,482 This is ridiculous 891 01:08:25,482 --> 01:08:29,862 She said you paid for her to be tattooed! 892 01:08:29,862 --> 01:08:31,280 Did you? 893 01:08:31,280 --> 01:08:33,407 It was a small snake 894 01:08:33,407 --> 01:08:35,284 Well, well 895 01:08:35,284 --> 01:08:37,953 You never welcomed her. You called her vile 896 01:08:37,953 --> 01:08:39,288 That is a lie! 897 01:08:39,288 --> 01:08:40,998 Now, hang on, Ian, old man ... 898 01:08:40,998 --> 01:08:45,794 you have to admit, you had some one or two little reservations about her character 899 01:08:45,794 --> 01:08:48,589 How dare you. What the hell do you mean? 900 01:08:48,589 --> 01:08:52,384 You handed her that halibut and expected her to ... 901 01:08:52,384 --> 01:08:54,762 To what? To cook it?! 902 01:08:54,762 --> 01:08:59,224 That's perverted exploitation? 903 01:08:59,224 --> 01:09:03,562 But to be so desperate, to behave without respect for me ... 904 01:09:04,021 --> 01:09:05,314 Now you strike me! 905 01:09:05,314 --> 01:09:07,524 Maurice, please. We come here every day 906 01:09:07,524 --> 01:09:08,984 They bring us croissants with our coffee 907 01:09:08,984 --> 01:09:11,320 Did you see? I have been struck! 908 01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:15,240 Get some sense into your thick skull before you before you die, Ian! 909 01:09:15,449 --> 01:09:17,409 You venomous rat! 910 01:09:17,409 --> 01:09:18,577 A dying man 911 01:09:18,577 --> 01:09:19,912 A bloody fool too! 912 01:09:19,912 --> 01:09:22,998 Right, let's have you! I'll take you on! 913 01:09:22,998 --> 01:09:25,793 Come on, where are we going with this? 914 01:09:25,793 --> 01:09:27,961 He hit me again! Did you see that? 915 01:09:27,961 --> 01:09:30,756 What is this, catheters at dawn? 916 01:09:30,756 --> 01:09:32,633 I'm going to have to bar you two troublemakers 917 01:09:32,633 --> 01:09:33,592 He started it! 918 01:09:33,592 --> 01:09:34,635 I did not! 919 01:09:34,635 --> 01:09:37,471 I want you out. Out of here! Out! 920 01:09:37,471 --> 01:09:40,933 All right, I'm going. Don't worry, I'm going 921 01:09:40,933 --> 01:09:42,434 Get out of here! 922 01:09:42,434 --> 01:09:44,061 Get out! 923 01:10:08,127 --> 01:10:09,545 Hi 924 01:10:17,594 --> 01:10:19,346 Can we come in? 925 01:10:53,839 --> 01:10:55,466 Go on, ask him 926 01:11:06,185 --> 01:11:07,770 Maurice ... 927 01:11:09,563 --> 01:11:11,982 do you want to go for a little walk? 928 01:11:14,651 --> 01:11:22,651 Exercise is good for some people, I've heard 929 01:12:34,314 --> 01:12:37,109 ...barbarous, most degenerate 930 01:12:38,318 --> 01:12:43,031 To be or not to be, that is the question 931 01:12:59,965 --> 01:13:07,965 No! No! Out! Out! Out! Out! 932 01:13:09,725 --> 01:13:13,770 All right, mate! I ain't finished yet 933 01:13:14,271 --> 01:13:17,149 All right, keep your hair on! Keep your hair on, mate 934 01:13:26,783 --> 01:13:28,660 You invited us in, old man 935 01:13:29,995 --> 01:13:31,580 Come on, let's go 936 01:13:34,750 --> 01:13:39,713 And you are a dirty old man 937 01:13:40,714 --> 01:13:43,842 And you are on your way 938 01:13:45,677 --> 01:13:47,638 - Oh, no, not the stick! - Stop it! 939 01:13:47,638 --> 01:13:50,015 I'm really frightened, grandad 940 01:13:54,102 --> 01:13:56,980 Come on! Just leave the fucking door! 941 01:13:57,356 --> 01:13:58,899 Come on. Stop fucking pissing ... 942 01:13:58,899 --> 01:14:00,984 My fucking head is hurting! 943 01:14:00,984 --> 01:14:02,402 Come on, then! 944 01:14:02,402 --> 01:14:04,237 What's your fucking problem? 945 01:14:04,237 --> 01:14:07,491 You stupid bastard, what have you done? 946 01:14:42,567 --> 01:14:50,567 Maurice! Open the door, Maurice! 947 01:15:07,009 --> 01:15:09,469 Are you responsible for this? 948 01:15:15,809 --> 01:15:19,479 There was an intruder, though there's no no sign of forced entry 949 01:15:19,479 --> 01:15:20,689 He was knocked down 950 01:15:20,689 --> 01:15:21,481 Who was it? 951 01:15:21,481 --> 01:15:24,860 Well, I did ask for a description and all he could say was 'He was damned ugly' 952 01:15:26,028 --> 01:15:28,822 He's a white male, in his early 70s 953 01:15:31,908 --> 01:15:35,287 If the worst comes to the worst, tomorrow morning will be all right 954 01:15:35,454 --> 01:15:37,080 He can't stay here alone 955 01:15:37,789 --> 01:15:39,249 I'll phone you back 956 01:15:40,208 --> 01:15:44,379 Hi, um ...I'm having some trouble getting a bed 957 01:15:44,379 --> 01:15:47,090 He needs someone with him. Are you...? 958 01:15:47,090 --> 01:15:50,343 No, of course not. I could die at any moment myself 959 01:15:50,343 --> 01:15:52,220 I got high blood pressure... 960 01:15:52,220 --> 01:15:57,142 anxiety, burning indigestion. I, I got ... 961 01:15:57,142 --> 01:15:59,102 Right, Yeah, okay. Right ... 962 01:16:05,317 --> 01:16:07,694 Venus. Venus 963 01:16:07,694 --> 01:16:10,697 Who the hell is Venus? 964 01:16:11,823 --> 01:16:13,116 I am 965 01:16:14,117 --> 01:16:17,871 He wants to see you. He's asked if you'll look after him 966 01:16:18,330 --> 01:16:19,539 Her? 967 01:16:21,374 --> 01:16:22,709 Yes 968 01:16:50,529 --> 01:16:52,030 I'm sorry 969 01:16:53,865 --> 01:16:55,826 Please forgive me 970 01:17:00,205 --> 01:17:02,249 Let it go, Maurice 971 01:17:03,250 --> 01:17:05,335 I'll do anything 972 01:17:07,671 --> 01:17:09,047 Please 973 01:17:10,215 --> 01:17:12,509 I'll never be mean again 974 01:17:14,511 --> 01:17:19,558 Sorry 975 01:17:32,237 --> 01:17:33,697 Maurice? 976 01:17:34,906 --> 01:17:36,491 Maurice? 977 01:17:37,409 --> 01:17:39,286 Can you hear me? 978 01:17:40,412 --> 01:17:41,997 Make a sign 979 01:17:44,124 --> 01:17:45,625 Maurice? 980 01:17:56,970 --> 01:17:58,680 Look, Maurice 981 01:18:14,696 --> 01:18:18,992 Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed 982 01:18:18,992 --> 01:18:22,454 The dear repose for limbs with travel tired; 983 01:18:23,788 --> 01:18:27,083 But then begins a journey in my head 984 01:18:30,295 --> 01:18:31,796 What do you want? 985 01:18:53,944 --> 01:18:56,655 Well, they're coming to take you to hospital now 986 01:18:57,656 --> 01:18:59,574 But I've got you 987 01:19:00,825 --> 01:19:02,035 Maurice ... 988 01:19:02,035 --> 01:19:06,581 I have got a much better idea 989 01:19:07,082 --> 01:19:15,082 Have you? 990 01:20:52,562 --> 01:20:55,607 I knew you would enjoy yourself 991 01:21:02,280 --> 01:21:04,366 I think we should go home now 992 01:21:05,867 --> 01:21:07,827 A little longer 993 01:21:12,707 --> 01:21:13,875 Are you tired? 994 01:21:14,084 --> 01:21:15,585 Oh, yes 995 01:21:18,004 --> 01:21:19,464 What shall we do? 996 01:21:19,631 --> 01:21:21,257 Carry on 997 01:21:22,467 --> 01:21:23,885 Yeah 998 01:21:26,971 --> 01:21:30,016 Will you take off my boot? 999 01:21:32,394 --> 01:21:34,312 It's too cold, Maurice 1000 01:21:34,312 --> 01:21:40,360 I know, I know. It was always bloody cold 1001 01:21:41,486 --> 01:21:43,446 Will you? 1002 01:22:40,128 --> 01:22:41,880 Now ... 1003 01:22:43,631 --> 01:22:46,217 we can really talk 1004 01:22:47,260 --> 01:22:48,803 Yeah 1005 01:22:58,229 --> 01:23:03,610 Maurice? Maurice? 1006 01:23:04,652 --> 01:23:11,284 Maurice? Maurice? No, Maurice 1007 01:23:11,284 --> 01:23:17,457 Maurice? Maurice? Maurice, wake up! Wake up! Maurice 1008 01:23:17,457 --> 01:23:21,461 Oh god! God! 1009 01:23:23,087 --> 01:23:26,424 Excuse me, excuse me 1010 01:23:26,966 --> 01:23:30,303 I need to use your phone. I think he's dead 1011 01:23:30,303 --> 01:23:32,972 I need to use your phone, please 1012 01:23:32,972 --> 01:23:35,350 Please, please, I need you to call an ambulance 1013 01:23:35,350 --> 01:23:38,603 I think he's dead. I don't know what to do 1014 01:24:28,820 --> 01:24:30,947 So, it was you 1015 01:24:31,155 --> 01:24:32,407 What? 1016 01:24:35,827 --> 01:24:37,870 I'm his wife 1017 01:24:37,870 --> 01:24:41,082 He was thinking about someone. It was you 1018 01:24:42,292 --> 01:24:45,962 Don't feel awkward. Ian told me 1019 01:24:46,588 --> 01:24:48,590 Ian still won't talk to me 1020 01:24:48,590 --> 01:24:52,093 He thinks I did for Maurice. The paddling and stuff 1021 01:24:52,093 --> 01:24:55,805 The paddling was marvellous. The best way to go 1022 01:24:57,724 --> 01:25:00,018 He really were a celebrity 1023 01:25:00,184 --> 01:25:03,479 When you die everyone wants to be your friend 1024 01:25:06,482 --> 01:25:08,526 What are you going to do? 1025 01:25:08,901 --> 01:25:12,864 I'm not going home. I can't go back now 1026 01:25:13,865 --> 01:25:16,117 And Ian won't have me in the house 1027 01:25:18,620 --> 01:25:22,373 I've got somewhere you could stay for a bit 1028 01:25:52,987 --> 01:25:57,200 Here we go. Where's your friend? 1029 01:26:04,332 --> 01:26:06,751 God, he was gorgeous 1030 01:26:07,043 --> 01:26:10,838 Yes ...he was gorgeous 1031 01:26:31,776 --> 01:26:33,861 She wants to return these 1032 01:26:35,822 --> 01:26:37,615 Say thank you 1033 01:26:46,958 --> 01:26:49,377 She wants to know if you're still angry with her 1034 01:26:49,627 --> 01:26:52,380 She says she's sorry 1035 01:26:54,590 --> 01:26:58,469 Tell her -- I'm not angry now 1036 01:26:59,721 --> 01:27:03,933 I just wasn't ready for someone like her 1037 01:27:15,987 --> 01:27:18,406 She says she'll come round tomorrow 1038 01:27:18,406 --> 01:27:20,491 She'll cook you some fish 1039 01:27:22,827 --> 01:27:24,662 Tell her ... 1040 01:27:27,081 --> 01:27:33,004 we can cook the fish ...together 1041 01:27:34,005 --> 01:27:38,134 Are you sure you don't want to come in? See you, then 1042 01:28:25,723 --> 01:28:33,723 How many columns did he get?