1
00:02:42,439 --> 00:02:46,439
www.titlovi.com

2
00:02:49,439 --> 00:02:51,138
<i>Well, ladies and gentlemen,</i>

3
00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:53,306
<i>this is your captain,</i>
<i>rusty Griswold.</i>

4
00:02:53,308 --> 00:02:55,675
<i>Hope you've enjoyed</i>
<i>your 18-minute flight</i>

5
00:02:55,677 --> 00:02:57,143
<i>from South bend.</i>

6
00:02:57,145 --> 00:02:58,444
We'll be touching down

7
00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,779
at Chicago's midway
very shortly.

8
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,947
We'd like to thank you
for flying with us today

9
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,015
because at econo air,
We're working hard

10
00:03:05,017 --> 00:03:07,117
to win back your trust.

11
00:03:07,119 --> 00:03:09,486
Harry, you mind takin' over
while I hit the lav?

12
00:03:09,488 --> 00:03:11,354
Sure thing, rusty.

13
00:03:11,356 --> 00:03:12,754
Thank you very much.

14
00:03:15,324 --> 00:03:16,590
Oh, and rusty.

15
00:03:16,592 --> 00:03:18,525
Mm-hmm. I wanna thank you

16
00:03:18,527 --> 00:03:21,494
for goin' to bat for me
last week.

17
00:03:21,496 --> 00:03:23,329
I was happy to do it.

18
00:03:23,331 --> 00:03:24,997
You know, just 'cause corporate
says You're too old to fly,

19
00:03:24,999 --> 00:03:26,665
it doesn't make it true.

20
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,833
If anything, You're more
qualified than us younger guys.

21
00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:30,434
Means a lot to me.

22
00:03:30,436 --> 00:03:31,535
Sure thing.

23
00:03:31,537 --> 00:03:33,036
- Oh, and rusty.
- Mm-hmm.

24
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:37,973
I wanna thank you for goin'
to bat for me last week.

25
00:03:37,975 --> 00:03:39,407
Yeah.

26
00:03:40,475 --> 00:03:42,008
You bet.

27
00:03:43,177 --> 00:03:45,477
Dad, is that the pilot?

28
00:03:45,479 --> 00:03:46,811
It sure is.

29
00:03:46,813 --> 00:03:48,712
He just came from the cockpit.

30
00:03:48,714 --> 00:03:51,014
Whoa!

31
00:03:52,883 --> 00:03:55,117
Hey there, little guy. Hi!

32
00:03:55,119 --> 00:03:56,485
Is this your first time
on a plane?

33
00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:58,286
We were planning on driving,

34
00:03:58,288 --> 00:03:59,987
but Tyler here
has been beggin' us

35
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:01,488
to go on his first airplane.

36
00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:03,189
Oh, is that right? Uh-huh.

37
00:04:03,191 --> 00:04:05,858
Do you think I can be a pilot
when I grow up?

38
00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:07,960
Yeah, well,
I don't see why not.

39
00:04:07,962 --> 00:04:09,628
You just have to study hard

40
00:04:09,630 --> 00:04:11,496
and listen
to your parents, all right?

41
00:04:11,498 --> 00:04:13,064
Whoa! Oh.

42
00:04:14,033 --> 00:04:15,065
O-okay.

43
00:04:15,067 --> 00:04:16,232
Sorry about that.

44
00:04:16,234 --> 00:04:17,233
Little bit of rough air.

45
00:04:17,235 --> 00:04:18,234
It's okay. Right?

46
00:04:18,236 --> 00:04:19,568
Yeah. Yeah.

47
00:04:19,570 --> 00:04:20,970
Uh, don't, uh,
don't worry about it.

48
00:04:22,139 --> 00:04:24,239
Hey. We call that "turbulence,"
all right?

49
00:04:24,241 --> 00:04:25,840
That's when the plane...

50
00:04:25,842 --> 00:04:26,974
oh!

51
00:04:31,913 --> 00:04:33,746
Oh, so sorry.

52
00:04:33,748 --> 00:04:36,381
Okay. You folks enjoy
the rest of your flight.

53
00:04:40,219 --> 00:04:42,053
Let me give you a hand.

54
00:04:42,055 --> 00:04:45,523
Can you please
stay the fuck away from us?!

55
00:04:49,393 --> 00:04:51,761
Harry!
You took us up to 60,000 feet!

56
00:04:51,763 --> 00:04:53,028
What're you doing?!

57
00:04:53,030 --> 00:04:54,529
Oh, rusty.

58
00:04:54,531 --> 00:04:58,098
I wanna thank you for goin'
to bat for me last week.

59
00:05:11,776 --> 00:05:13,342
Or the time
that pan continental

60
00:05:13,344 --> 00:05:15,744
put us up
at the ritz in Barcelona.

61
00:05:15,746 --> 00:05:18,113
You know, I'll tell ya one thing
about the Spanish women...

62
00:05:18,115 --> 00:05:20,248
they, uh, they love them
some airline pilots.

63
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,782
They do!

64
00:05:21,784 --> 00:05:23,625
I never took the uniform off
except when I did.

65
00:05:35,094 --> 00:05:36,326
Ladies.

66
00:05:40,898 --> 00:05:42,797
All full. You're gonna
have to wait for the next one.

67
00:05:42,799 --> 00:05:44,831
But I was... You were what?

68
00:05:46,867 --> 00:05:48,534
I'll catch the next one.

69
00:05:48,536 --> 00:05:49,968
See ya around, econo air.

70
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,251
It's the third time this month.
I know.

71
00:06:09,253 --> 00:06:10,652
You have to do something about him.
I will.

72
00:06:10,654 --> 00:06:12,587
He's always picking on me.
I know he is.

73
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:14,455
I'm so sorry, honey. Hey.

74
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:15,823
Hey. Hi.

75
00:06:15,825 --> 00:06:17,257
What's going on here?
Oh, you'll see.

76
00:06:17,259 --> 00:06:19,559
Kevin! Get down here, please.

77
00:06:19,561 --> 00:06:21,327
Look what Kevin did
to my guitar.

78
00:06:21,329 --> 00:06:22,594
Aw. Not again.

79
00:06:22,596 --> 00:06:25,263
God. You told mom and dad?

80
00:06:25,265 --> 00:06:26,731
You have such a vagina.

81
00:06:26,733 --> 00:06:28,632
Okay, enough. Enough.

82
00:06:28,634 --> 00:06:29,766
Now, young man, we talked about

83
00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:31,234
the bullying
of your older brother.

84
00:06:31,236 --> 00:06:33,069
That's right.
We don't make fun of someone

85
00:06:33,071 --> 00:06:34,303
just 'cause they're a little
different from us.

86
00:06:34,305 --> 00:06:36,605
D... I don't have a vagina!

87
00:06:36,607 --> 00:06:38,607
I'm just saying
that even if you did,

88
00:06:38,609 --> 00:06:41,142
it wouldn't be okay for Kevin
to tease you about your vagina.

89
00:06:41,144 --> 00:06:43,611
No! Why are you making it sound
like I have a vagina?!

90
00:06:43,613 --> 00:06:46,480
I know you don't have a vagina.
I'm not doing that.

91
00:06:46,482 --> 00:06:48,081
Kevin, apologize
to your brother, please.

92
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:50,316
Fine. I'm sorry.

93
00:06:50,318 --> 00:06:51,617
Now, go to your room.

94
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:54,319
I was in my fucking room.

95
00:06:54,321 --> 00:06:56,287
Whoa. Hey, Kevin?
Get back down here.

96
00:06:59,523 --> 00:07:01,156
Now listen.

97
00:07:01,158 --> 00:07:03,625
There are a lot of boys
who are born with vaginas.

98
00:07:03,627 --> 00:07:05,026
It's very hard for them.

99
00:07:05,028 --> 00:07:06,027
Honey. Hmm?

100
00:07:06,029 --> 00:07:07,094
W-why?

101
00:07:07,096 --> 00:07:08,462
It's a teachable moment, hon.

102
00:07:08,464 --> 00:07:10,030
Gender fluidity, right?

103
00:07:10,032 --> 00:07:11,197
It's a very serious issue.

104
00:07:11,199 --> 00:07:12,464
I'm not gender-fluid.

105
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:13,965
It doesn't matter if you are.

106
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,500
The point is,
your mom and I Would love you

107
00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:18,769
even if you were
completely blank down there.

108
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,270
Okay, that's not...
this is not the point.

109
00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:22,471
This... none... Kevin?
Just go to your room.

110
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,908
Hey, James, don't get
your gender fluid on me.

111
00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:28,276
- Awesome.
- Stop!

112
00:07:28,278 --> 00:07:29,243
It's not a fluid!

113
00:07:29,245 --> 00:07:30,644
And what about my guitar?

114
00:07:30,646 --> 00:07:32,312
It... it's ruined.

115
00:07:32,314 --> 00:07:34,247
Let me have a look.

116
00:07:42,719 --> 00:07:44,252
Here ya go. That'll do for now.

117
00:07:44,254 --> 00:07:45,720
Now get washed up.

118
00:07:45,722 --> 00:07:47,154
The Petersons are coming over
for dinner.

119
00:07:47,156 --> 00:07:48,221
Mwah.

120
00:07:48,223 --> 00:07:49,322
Okay, baby.

121
00:07:50,791 --> 00:07:52,158
Oh, gosh.

122
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,293
I'll get you a new guitar.
Okay?

123
00:07:54,295 --> 00:07:56,128
Oh, use the vitamix.
Just grind it up.

124
00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:57,770
The dry bit. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

125
00:07:58,965 --> 00:08:00,931
Sheila.

126
00:08:00,933 --> 00:08:01,965
So do you have to work
tomorrow?

127
00:08:01,967 --> 00:08:03,599
So, um, s-Sheila.

128
00:08:03,601 --> 00:08:05,233
'Cause I want to go
to the movies with my friends.

129
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,234
Sheila.

130
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,301
What?

131
00:08:07,303 --> 00:08:08,935
Do you like school this year?

132
00:08:08,937 --> 00:08:10,269
It's okay.

133
00:08:10,271 --> 00:08:13,005
"So, do you like school
this year?"

134
00:08:13,007 --> 00:08:14,406
That's seriously
what you sound like.

135
00:08:14,408 --> 00:08:15,507
Just shut up.

136
00:08:17,309 --> 00:08:18,475
God, I'm tellin' you, Russ,

137
00:08:18,477 --> 00:08:19,576
you've gotta get

138
00:08:19,578 --> 00:08:21,411
one of these go-kart kits.

139
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:22,445
What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

140
00:08:22,447 --> 00:08:23,779
Gary and I spent

141
00:08:23,781 --> 00:08:25,647
the last two months
building this thing.

142
00:08:25,649 --> 00:08:28,282
We took her out this morning
for the first time.

143
00:08:28,284 --> 00:08:30,484
Holy moly.

144
00:08:30,486 --> 00:08:31,618
Fun?

145
00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,586
No, no, it was terrible.

146
00:08:33,588 --> 00:08:35,654
Oh, yeah, it was fun!

147
00:08:35,656 --> 00:08:37,188
Hot damn! It's a go-kart.

148
00:08:37,190 --> 00:08:39,623
G-man, get over here.

149
00:08:39,625 --> 00:08:41,791
G-man, g-man, g-man, g-man, g-man.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

150
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:43,159
Oh, my God, my g-man.

151
00:08:43,161 --> 00:08:44,493
I love him.

152
00:08:44,495 --> 00:08:46,027
Get in there.
What? Oh, I didn't...

153
00:08:46,029 --> 00:08:47,528
what? What? What?

154
00:08:47,530 --> 00:08:48,762
Get in there.
Get in there. Get in there.

155
00:08:48,764 --> 00:08:49,764
Get in there. Blblblblbl!

156
00:08:51,166 --> 00:08:53,599
Oh, man! I love you so much.

157
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:56,868
Oh. Oh, tell Mr. Griswold
how dope our go-kart is.

158
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,436
It's got a Zanardi chassis

159
00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,971
and a four-stroke
Briggs & Stratton engine.

160
00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:03,373
Wow. And you guys built
this together? Yep.

161
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:05,174
We worked on it every day after
homework and tooth brushin'.

162
00:09:05,176 --> 00:09:07,176
I love... get over here.
Get over here, man.

163
00:09:07,178 --> 00:09:09,144
Aah! Aah!

164
00:09:09,146 --> 00:09:10,612
Work it, sugar ray.

165
00:09:10,614 --> 00:09:12,113
Come on, sugar ray.
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

166
00:09:12,115 --> 00:09:13,047
He's workin' me over.

167
00:09:14,550 --> 00:09:16,049
I'm gonna eat your face!

168
00:09:16,051 --> 00:09:17,650
Kevin, James, get over here!

169
00:09:17,652 --> 00:09:19,518
No.

170
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:20,819
Come on.

171
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,387
Oh! Oh! There you are!

172
00:09:22,389 --> 00:09:23,721
Ow. Ow.

173
00:09:23,723 --> 00:09:25,122
Whoa-ho! Dad, stop.

174
00:09:25,124 --> 00:09:26,623
Come on, man.
What are you doing?

175
00:09:26,625 --> 00:09:27,824
Come on. We're sparring.
We do this all the time.

176
00:09:27,826 --> 00:09:29,525
- No. We never do this.
- Come on.

177
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,660
Mnh. Ow. Hey!
Don't... don't hit your old man.

178
00:09:31,662 --> 00:09:32,727
I don't wanna
be a part of this.

179
00:09:32,729 --> 00:09:33,828
Whoa!

180
00:09:36,365 --> 00:09:38,398
D... what are you doing?
Aah! Aah! Aah!

181
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,399
This is how accidents happen.
Sacrifice!

182
00:09:39,401 --> 00:09:40,900
Aah! Dad!

183
00:09:40,902 --> 00:09:43,402
Let go of me. Stop!
Why did you do that?

184
00:09:44,805 --> 00:09:46,004
I'm sorry, man.

185
00:09:46,006 --> 00:09:47,705
Come on.
I was just foolin' around.

186
00:09:47,707 --> 00:09:49,339
That wasn't fun.
Like we always do.

187
00:09:49,341 --> 00:09:51,007
We never do that. Hey.

188
00:09:51,009 --> 00:09:53,242
What do you say you and I build
a go-kart together?

189
00:09:54,477 --> 00:09:55,810
If we have to.

190
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,311
Yeah! All right!

191
00:09:57,313 --> 00:09:59,579
G-man! Get outta here.

192
00:09:59,581 --> 00:10:00,913
Get outta here, g-man!

193
00:10:02,249 --> 00:10:05,083
D-did you just steal
my son's nickname?

194
00:10:10,589 --> 00:10:11,889
I'm not sure about...
oh, shoot.

195
00:10:11,891 --> 00:10:13,323
Oh. Dang it.

196
00:10:13,325 --> 00:10:15,258
Wow. Your ring
is getting loose, there, Deb.

197
00:10:15,260 --> 00:10:16,859
Mm. Yeah.
Are you losin' weight?

198
00:10:16,861 --> 00:10:18,994
Yeah. I am.
You know what I've been doing?

199
00:10:18,996 --> 00:10:20,528
Spinning.

200
00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:22,696
Yeah. It's a...
it's a great stress reliever.

201
00:10:22,698 --> 00:10:25,365
Now, I'm gonna tell you what's
an even greater stress reliever.

202
00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:27,433
And that is a week in Paris.

203
00:10:27,435 --> 00:10:30,169
Oh, my gosh!
I saw that on instagram.

204
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,737
All your pictures
were so great.

205
00:10:31,739 --> 00:10:33,205
Oh, so you did see 'em. Yeah!

206
00:10:33,207 --> 00:10:35,040
Well, that's funny
'cause I was gonna ask

207
00:10:35,042 --> 00:10:36,674
how come you didn't like
any of 'em.

208
00:10:36,676 --> 00:10:38,442
What do you mean?
I just said I did.

209
00:10:38,444 --> 00:10:39,843
Well, no, all my other friends,

210
00:10:39,845 --> 00:10:41,711
uh, who saw my Paris pics,
they clicked "like."

211
00:10:41,713 --> 00:10:43,345
You were the only one
who didn't click "like."

212
00:10:43,347 --> 00:10:44,579
Oh.

213
00:10:44,581 --> 00:10:46,247
I guess I just
didn't get around

214
00:10:46,249 --> 00:10:48,515
to actually
clicking "like" on them.

215
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:49,616
Okay, 'cause look at this one.

216
00:10:49,618 --> 00:10:50,950
Now, in this one,

217
00:10:50,952 --> 00:10:53,786
we have Sheila and Gary
wearin' berets.

218
00:10:53,788 --> 00:10:54,953
I know. Right? Bonjour.

219
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,354
I know.
I like that one so much.

220
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,521
It's so cute.
But you didn't "like" it.

221
00:10:57,523 --> 00:10:59,089
Okay.

222
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:01,291
Now, here are the four of us
at the arc de triomphe.

223
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,259
Didn't "like" that.
Didn't "like" my children.

224
00:11:03,261 --> 00:11:05,127
Didn't "like" my man
kissin' on me.

225
00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:07,229
I-I-I promise you,
the second you guys leave,

226
00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:09,197
I am gonna go upstairs online,

227
00:11:09,199 --> 00:11:11,799
and I am gonna click "like"
on every single one of them.

228
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,367
Honestly, honey, it
really... I promise.

229
00:11:13,369 --> 00:11:15,635
It makes no difference to me.

230
00:11:17,237 --> 00:11:20,272
So, are you guys going anywhere
special this summer?

231
00:11:20,274 --> 00:11:22,140
Oh, I wish. Yeah. No.

232
00:11:22,142 --> 00:11:24,442
We're... we are renting
the same cabin

233
00:11:24,444 --> 00:11:25,810
that we've been renting
for 10 years

234
00:11:25,812 --> 00:11:27,812
in Cheboygan, Michigan. Wow.

235
00:11:27,814 --> 00:11:29,413
The boys call it
"che-boring," Michigan.

236
00:11:30,783 --> 00:11:32,082
Isn't that funny?

237
00:11:32,084 --> 00:11:33,616
Why don't you
just go someplace else?

238
00:11:33,618 --> 00:11:36,151
Oh, no. We Can't.
Rusty loves it so much.

239
00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:38,286
I Would break his heart if I
told him that we hate the cabin.

240
00:11:38,288 --> 00:11:39,420
Oh, boy. Yeah.

241
00:11:39,422 --> 00:11:42,456
I understand. I understand.

242
00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:44,558
Yeah. Well, you know
what the good news is?

243
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:45,992
Hmm?

244
00:11:45,994 --> 00:11:48,227
Honestly, even if you go there

245
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:50,128
and you don't have
a great time, baby,

246
00:11:50,130 --> 00:11:51,562
at least you know

247
00:11:51,564 --> 00:11:53,297
that I will click "like"
on all your photos.

248
00:11:53,299 --> 00:11:55,132
Oh, Jesus Christ, Nancy.

249
00:11:55,134 --> 00:11:57,434
<i>Look! Look!</i>

250
00:11:59,004 --> 00:12:00,937
<i>What the fuck is this?</i>

251
00:12:00,939 --> 00:12:02,471
<i>- Louie!</i>
<i>- Yes, sir.</i>

252
00:12:02,473 --> 00:12:05,674
<i>Oh, You're back there! Get out!</i>

253
00:12:13,782 --> 00:12:15,649
<i>What the fuck is this?!</i>

254
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,684
<i>Hey, madam. How much Capellini</i>
<i>are you throwing away?</i>

255
00:12:19,952 --> 00:12:22,086
<i>What are you doing, Melinda?</i>

256
00:12:22,987 --> 00:12:25,588
<i>What are you doing?</i>

257
00:12:25,590 --> 00:12:28,090
<i>- You're making me mad!</i>
<i>- Yes, chef.</i>

258
00:12:28,092 --> 00:12:29,357
<i>So fucking mad! Yes, chef.</i>

259
00:12:29,359 --> 00:12:31,025
<i>- Joseph!</i>
<i>- Yes, chef.</i>

260
00:12:59,117 --> 00:13:00,683
Guys, I have exciting news.

261
00:13:00,685 --> 00:13:01,984
James has aids?!

262
00:13:01,986 --> 00:13:04,119
What? No! That's horrible.

263
00:13:04,121 --> 00:13:06,488
I'd be excited. Well, what is it?
What is it?

264
00:13:06,490 --> 00:13:08,122
The four of us are gonna take
a little trip.

265
00:13:08,124 --> 00:13:09,356
Paris.

266
00:13:09,358 --> 00:13:11,358
Hmm? No. Much better.

267
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,827
We're driving to Walley world.

268
00:13:14,829 --> 00:13:15,794
What?

269
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,128
This family's in a rut.

270
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,195
We gotta shake things up.
Right?

271
00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:19,597
Spend a little quality time.

272
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,265
And of course, it wouldn't hurt

273
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,400
for the boys to learn
to get along a little better.

274
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:26,002
Uh, by locking them in
a car together? Yeah.

275
00:13:26,004 --> 00:13:27,737
This is some bullshit
right here!

276
00:13:27,739 --> 00:13:29,438
Hey! Language! Well, it is!

277
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,807
I'm gonna miss the first week
of wrestling practice!

278
00:13:31,809 --> 00:13:34,075
We'll find a wrestling range
along the way.

279
00:13:34,077 --> 00:13:35,643
That's not even a thing!

280
00:13:35,645 --> 00:13:37,077
And, dad, no offense,

281
00:13:37,079 --> 00:13:38,645
but I just don't wanna do
my first big road trip

282
00:13:38,647 --> 00:13:40,680
to some corporate theme park,
you know?

283
00:13:40,682 --> 00:13:42,748
I'd like to explore
the real America,

284
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:46,150
like, uh, Jack kerouac
or the merry pranksters.

285
00:13:46,152 --> 00:13:47,284
Ow.

286
00:13:47,286 --> 00:13:49,252
Don't say weird shit! Ow!

287
00:13:49,254 --> 00:13:51,420
Kevin! Bullying! Guys, come on.

288
00:13:51,422 --> 00:13:52,821
My trip to Walley world
when I was a kid

289
00:13:52,823 --> 00:13:54,355
was the best time I ever had.

290
00:13:54,357 --> 00:13:58,825
So you just wanna redo
your vacation from 30 years ago?

291
00:13:58,827 --> 00:14:01,027
Don't you think that's gonna be
kind of a letdown?

292
00:14:01,029 --> 00:14:03,195
No, no, no, no.
We're not redoing anything.

293
00:14:03,197 --> 00:14:04,996
This will be
completely different.

294
00:14:04,998 --> 00:14:07,198
For one thing, the original
vacation had a boy and a girl.

295
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,099
This one has two boys.

296
00:14:09,101 --> 00:14:13,036
And I'm sure that there will be
lots of other differences.

297
00:14:13,038 --> 00:14:14,971
I've never even heard
of the original vacation.

298
00:14:14,973 --> 00:14:16,272
Doesn't matter.

299
00:14:16,274 --> 00:14:18,107
The new vacation
will stand on its own.

300
00:14:18,109 --> 00:14:19,308
Okay?

301
00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:20,776
Come on, honey.

302
00:14:20,778 --> 00:14:24,179
What do you say?
We can drive out and fly back.

303
00:14:24,181 --> 00:14:25,947
Oh, what the heck.

304
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,616
It couldn't be as bad as that
stupid cabin, right, honey?

305
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,150
That's the spirit. All right.

306
00:14:30,152 --> 00:14:32,552
Fuck me.

307
00:14:32,554 --> 00:14:34,453
Are we gonna drive all that way
in your little car, dad?

308
00:14:34,455 --> 00:14:36,655
Not exactly.

309
00:14:48,498 --> 00:14:50,499
- Come on, guys.
- What?

310
00:14:50,501 --> 00:14:52,000
How come you didn't follow me
just then?

311
00:14:52,002 --> 00:14:54,168
Oh. You wanted us to?

312
00:14:54,170 --> 00:14:56,036
Yeah. That's why
I dangled the key like that.

313
00:14:56,038 --> 00:14:58,071
Oh, well, I don't...
why else Would I...?

314
00:14:58,073 --> 00:14:59,674
You could have just said,
"come with me."

315
00:15:01,142 --> 00:15:02,741
Look what your dad rented.

316
00:15:03,843 --> 00:15:04,909
What the hell is that?

317
00:15:04,911 --> 00:15:06,477
Kevin.

318
00:15:06,479 --> 00:15:09,012
That's a 2015 tartan prancer.

319
00:15:09,014 --> 00:15:10,513
Did you say "tartan," honey?
Yeah.

320
00:15:10,515 --> 00:15:11,981
Tartan's the Honda of Albania.

321
00:15:11,983 --> 00:15:14,049
Why'd you get
an Albanian car, dad?

322
00:15:14,051 --> 00:15:16,418
Well, it turns out renting a
family car on Memorial Day weekend

323
00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:17,719
doesn't leave you
with a lot of options.

324
00:15:17,721 --> 00:15:20,421
But this baby is pretty sweet.

325
00:15:20,423 --> 00:15:22,689
It's got all the latest
Albanian technology.

326
00:15:22,691 --> 00:15:24,090
Plug-in hybrid.

327
00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:26,158
Oh, wow. Eco-friendly. Good.

328
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:29,660
So any time we run outta juice,
we can just pull right over,

329
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,328
and... Plug in.

330
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:33,330
I don't...
I don't know what that is.

331
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,565
Never seen an outlet for that.

332
00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:36,999
Should it retract, or...

333
00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:38,266
You Would think
it Would retract.

334
00:15:38,268 --> 00:15:39,934
It just... Huh.

335
00:15:39,936 --> 00:15:41,402
If it just... no, it doesn't.
It's... yeah.

336
00:15:41,404 --> 00:15:42,403
Cup holder?

337
00:15:42,405 --> 00:15:43,604
I think you coil it.

338
00:15:43,606 --> 00:15:45,038
I think you just coil it
like that.

339
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:46,906
Right?
And then you close it right up.

340
00:15:46,908 --> 00:15:49,041
Doesn't matter.
We've still got two gas tanks.

341
00:15:49,043 --> 00:15:51,443
Why two?
Carry twice as much gas.

342
00:15:51,445 --> 00:15:53,745
Why not just have one big tank?

343
00:15:53,747 --> 00:15:55,213
It's twice the gas, buddy.

344
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,347
Actually the same volume.

345
00:15:56,349 --> 00:15:58,415
Two small... shh.

346
00:15:58,417 --> 00:16:00,049
It has six ashtrays.

347
00:16:00,051 --> 00:16:01,550
Six. Wow.

348
00:16:01,552 --> 00:16:04,886
Hope you guys
like smokin'! Right?

349
00:16:04,888 --> 00:16:06,053
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

350
00:16:06,055 --> 00:16:07,353
What's with all the mirrors?

351
00:16:09,789 --> 00:16:10,889
Safer.

352
00:16:10,891 --> 00:16:12,790
But... Oh!

353
00:16:12,792 --> 00:16:14,091
And this is amazing.

354
00:16:14,093 --> 00:16:16,760
I can control the entire car
from the fob.

355
00:16:16,762 --> 00:16:18,394
What do all the buttons mean?

356
00:16:18,396 --> 00:16:19,862
No clue.
But we'll figure it out.

357
00:16:19,864 --> 00:16:22,197
Honey, is that...
is that a swastika on there?

358
00:16:22,199 --> 00:16:24,933
Yeah. We won't use that.

359
00:16:24,935 --> 00:16:26,200
This is my favorite part.

360
00:16:28,736 --> 00:16:30,069
Slam the door on my arm.

361
00:16:30,071 --> 00:16:31,703
What? It has a sensor.

362
00:16:31,705 --> 00:16:34,472
It won't let you slam the door
on your arm or leg.

363
00:16:34,474 --> 00:16:35,873
Honey, I'm not doing that.

364
00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:37,441
The rental guy showed me.
Just do it.

365
00:16:37,443 --> 00:16:39,009
Okay. Do it!

366
00:16:40,244 --> 00:16:41,944
Do it. Kinda fun.

367
00:16:41,946 --> 00:16:43,879
Slam it. All right.

368
00:16:43,881 --> 00:16:44,779
There ya go. Oh!

369
00:16:44,781 --> 00:16:46,080
Oh, my God! Oh!

370
00:16:46,082 --> 00:16:47,247
Oh, my gosh! Ohh.

371
00:16:47,249 --> 00:16:48,581
God damn it! Oh, my God!

372
00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:49,782
Why did you have me do that?

373
00:16:50,785 --> 00:16:52,985
Ohh.

374
00:16:52,987 --> 00:16:55,787
Oh. Oh, I didn't have
the sensor activated.

375
00:16:55,789 --> 00:16:57,054
Okay.

376
00:16:57,056 --> 00:16:58,789
I'm an idiot. Do it again.

377
00:16:58,791 --> 00:17:00,223
No! Absolutely not.

378
00:17:00,225 --> 00:17:01,757
Come on. It'll be fine.
I just activated it.

379
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:02,657
No, I'm not gonna do it!

380
00:17:02,659 --> 00:17:03,791
Don't be chicken.

381
00:17:03,793 --> 00:17:04,892
Fine!

382
00:17:04,894 --> 00:17:06,560
Aah! Ow! Aah!

383
00:17:06,562 --> 00:17:08,395
Shit!

384
00:17:08,397 --> 00:17:09,396
Why did you do that?

385
00:17:09,398 --> 00:17:10,897
Really?

386
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,398
You're right. I'm sorry.

387
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,600
Ohh. Nobody slam their arm
in the door, okay?

388
00:17:14,602 --> 00:17:16,501
Can I slam it on James' balls?

389
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,736
So you admit I have balls? Yeah,
they hang outta your vagina.

390
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,604
Okay, you two stop that. Guys, come on.
There's plenty of time for that.

391
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:21,805
Please. Go on and get packed.

392
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:22,806
We're hittin' the road today.

393
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,073
Okay.

394
00:17:24,075 --> 00:17:25,441
Guess We're leaving today. Phew!

395
00:17:25,443 --> 00:17:26,675
All right. Let's go, guys.

396
00:17:31,813 --> 00:17:33,480
Ah.

397
00:17:40,153 --> 00:17:42,087
Hey, honey. What's all that?

398
00:17:42,089 --> 00:17:44,589
Well, this is my dream journal,

399
00:17:44,591 --> 00:17:47,458
whimsy log, wish diary,

400
00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:48,659
my poems.

401
00:17:48,661 --> 00:17:51,028
And this bad boy is going to be

402
00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:53,830
a stream of consciousness
travel log, so...

403
00:17:53,832 --> 00:17:55,998
Yeah.

404
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,266
Come on, honey,
every boy that age

405
00:17:58,268 --> 00:18:00,034
has a stack of diaries.

406
00:18:00,036 --> 00:18:01,502
Okay, gang.

407
00:18:02,505 --> 00:18:05,172
Seat belts on!

408
00:18:05,174 --> 00:18:06,439
Two full tanks of gas!

409
00:18:06,441 --> 00:18:07,973
Honey, GPS check?

410
00:18:07,975 --> 00:18:09,441
Yes. Yes. Roger that.

411
00:18:09,443 --> 00:18:11,276
Okay.

412
00:18:11,278 --> 00:18:14,512
<i>Your destination</i>
<i>is 2,560 Miles ahead.</i>

413
00:18:14,514 --> 00:18:17,181
Walley world, here we come.

414
00:18:47,139 --> 00:18:48,905
Well, We're almost out of gas.

415
00:18:48,907 --> 00:18:51,240
What? How is that possible?

416
00:18:51,242 --> 00:18:52,941
We've been driving
for less than an hour.

417
00:19:04,652 --> 00:19:06,885
Hey, dad, what's so special
about Walley world?

418
00:19:06,887 --> 00:19:09,220
I mean, we have plenty
of theme parks at home.

419
00:19:09,222 --> 00:19:11,422
Well, Walley world is home

420
00:19:11,424 --> 00:19:14,858
of the one and only
velociraptor.

421
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:16,826
What the hell is that?

422
00:19:16,828 --> 00:19:18,894
It's only the newest,
scariest roller coaster

423
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:19,895
in the country.

424
00:19:21,231 --> 00:19:24,031
450 feet tall,
110 Miles an hour,

425
00:19:24,033 --> 00:19:26,533
triple corkscrew loop.

426
00:19:26,535 --> 00:19:28,601
Yeah. Oh, hey! Look at this!

427
00:19:28,603 --> 00:19:31,403
Looks like we got ourselves
a little old convoy.

428
00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:32,937
Let's say "hi."

429
00:19:34,272 --> 00:19:36,340
Oh, my goodness.
It has a cb radio in it?

430
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,841
Yeah.
Comes standard in all prancers.

431
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,143
This way we can talk to truckers.
Okay.

432
00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:42,812
Now, guys, you just have
to speak their lingo.

433
00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:45,174
All right, I'm gonna ask him
if There's any police up ahead.

434
00:19:46,116 --> 00:19:47,849
Breaker 1-9 to rubber ducky.

435
00:19:47,851 --> 00:19:50,484
You got any smokey the bears
in your kitchen? Over.

436
00:19:52,054 --> 00:19:53,553
You're clean and green
for the next 20 klicks.

437
00:19:53,555 --> 00:19:55,788
He replied! I know!

438
00:19:55,790 --> 00:19:57,289
What did that even mean?

439
00:19:57,291 --> 00:19:59,291
I have no idea, but who cares?

440
00:19:59,293 --> 00:20:00,492
He seems nice.

441
00:20:00,494 --> 00:20:02,460
He does seem nice, doesn't he?

442
00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:04,395
Copy that, good buddy. Over.

443
00:20:04,397 --> 00:20:05,529
Oh, can I try, dad?

444
00:20:05,531 --> 00:20:06,796
Yeah, course.

445
00:20:06,798 --> 00:20:08,697
When you finish talking,
say "over."

446
00:20:08,699 --> 00:20:10,298
Okay. Cool. Okay.

447
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,066
Breaker 1-9,

448
00:20:12,068 --> 00:20:14,735
my friend jessie says
all truck drivers are rapists.

449
00:20:14,737 --> 00:20:16,036
Are you a rapist? Kevin, no!

450
00:20:16,038 --> 00:20:17,370
No! Oh. Sorry.

451
00:20:17,372 --> 00:20:18,871
Over. No! No.

452
00:20:18,873 --> 00:20:20,372
What are you doing?

453
00:20:20,374 --> 00:20:22,907
What? It's a question.
You're ruining it.

454
00:20:24,243 --> 00:20:26,743
Sorry about that there,
good buddy.

455
00:20:26,745 --> 00:20:28,411
You know how little boys are
when their mouths get goin'.

456
00:20:28,413 --> 00:20:32,681
I don't...
not to imply that you are...

457
00:20:32,683 --> 00:20:37,185
Fond of when little boys' mouths
get goin' in any way.

458
00:20:37,187 --> 00:20:38,886
I-I'm not suggesting

459
00:20:38,888 --> 00:20:41,221
that you are a sex offender
or a pedophile.

460
00:20:41,223 --> 00:20:42,855
Okay, no! Yeah.

461
00:20:42,857 --> 00:20:44,857
So that's the cb radio, guys.

462
00:20:44,859 --> 00:20:46,859
Neat, huh?

463
00:20:46,861 --> 00:20:47,993
Hey, dad, what's a pedophile?

464
00:20:47,995 --> 00:20:49,594
Mm, well, Kevin,

465
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,996
when a man and a boy love
each other very mu... no.

466
00:20:51,998 --> 00:20:53,930
No.

467
00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:58,534
I have to piss. Me, too.

468
00:20:58,536 --> 00:21:00,435
Okay, go with him, please,
and keep an eye on him.

469
00:21:00,437 --> 00:21:02,003
Okay. Thank you.

470
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,540
Look at that.
The boys are bonding already.

471
00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:07,774
Mm-hmm.

472
00:21:07,776 --> 00:21:09,041
Isn't this the best?

473
00:21:09,043 --> 00:21:11,009
Yeah.

474
00:21:12,379 --> 00:21:14,045
Do you remember,

475
00:21:14,047 --> 00:21:16,213
back when you were just getting
your pilot's license

476
00:21:16,215 --> 00:21:18,215
and you and I Would sit there

477
00:21:18,217 --> 00:21:19,849
and we'd talk
about all those, like,

478
00:21:19,851 --> 00:21:22,785
overseas trips we Would
take and stuff? Oh.

479
00:21:22,787 --> 00:21:24,520
Yeah, of course,
that's when I thought

480
00:21:24,522 --> 00:21:27,189
I was gonna fly
for one of the big guys.

481
00:21:27,191 --> 00:21:28,924
I know it's not
the most glamorous airline,

482
00:21:28,926 --> 00:21:31,726
but econo air,
it's been pretty good to us.

483
00:21:31,728 --> 00:21:32,893
As far as I'm concerned,

484
00:21:32,895 --> 00:21:34,361
right here
with you and the boys,

485
00:21:34,363 --> 00:21:36,596
this is paradise.

486
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,932
There was a hole
in the side of my stall.

487
00:21:40,934 --> 00:21:42,433
Sounds like you found
yourself a glory hole. Russ?

488
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:43,767
Hmm? No.

489
00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:45,401
All right. Let's hit the road.
Okay.

490
00:22:26,937 --> 00:22:29,137
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!

491
00:22:41,347 --> 00:22:43,414
What... what's wrong with you?!

492
00:22:43,416 --> 00:22:45,582
I just wanted to see how long
you could hold your breath

493
00:22:45,584 --> 00:22:46,950
before you black out.

494
00:22:46,952 --> 00:22:49,319
Don't do that!
I could have died.

495
00:22:49,321 --> 00:22:51,020
Whatever.

496
00:22:55,590 --> 00:22:57,691
Goddamn it. Kevin!

497
00:23:11,271 --> 00:23:12,870
Hey, honey,
why'd we get off the highway?

498
00:23:12,872 --> 00:23:14,438
Well, I thought it Would be fun

499
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,039
for the kids to see
where you went to college.

500
00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:19,342
Oh, God. Why Would that
be fun for them, honey?

501
00:23:19,344 --> 00:23:20,843
Well, you could give us a tour.

502
00:23:20,845 --> 00:23:22,477
Maybe one of them
could study there one day.

503
00:23:22,479 --> 00:23:24,879
Oh, no. No way, man.

504
00:23:24,881 --> 00:23:26,180
I've got my sights set

505
00:23:26,182 --> 00:23:27,614
on something
a little more Ivy league.

506
00:23:27,616 --> 00:23:28,815
Oh.

507
00:23:28,817 --> 00:23:30,149
Little fucker.

508
00:23:30,151 --> 00:23:31,817
What, ma? I love you.

509
00:23:31,819 --> 00:23:33,185
That's what I said.

510
00:23:33,187 --> 00:23:34,686
Love you, too.
I said I love you.

511
00:23:34,688 --> 00:23:36,621
Let's just see how far it is.

512
00:23:36,623 --> 00:23:39,056
<i>You are 9.2 Miles</i>
<i>from your destination.</i>

513
00:23:39,058 --> 00:23:40,057
Oh. All right.

514
00:23:40,059 --> 00:23:42,192
Check the best route.

515
00:23:43,528 --> 00:23:45,127
Oh! I changed the language.

516
00:23:48,632 --> 00:23:49,964
That's not it.

517
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,532
What is that?

518
00:23:52,534 --> 00:23:54,700
Uh, I don't know. I... Korean?

519
00:23:55,969 --> 00:23:57,201
Oh, God, it's horrible! Oh.

520
00:23:57,203 --> 00:23:59,002
Just please turn it off, Russ.

521
00:23:59,004 --> 00:24:00,670
The menu's all in Korean now.
I don't know what to press.

522
00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:02,905
Why is it so much angrier
than the other voices?

523
00:24:02,907 --> 00:24:04,873
Why don't we just...
honey, it doesn't...

524
00:24:04,875 --> 00:24:06,674
It like
when you touch it, okay?

525
00:24:06,676 --> 00:24:09,476
Just leave it alone.
Let it calm down.

526
00:24:20,653 --> 00:24:24,421
Wow. This place
has not changed a bit.

527
00:24:24,423 --> 00:24:26,055
Isn't that sorority row?

528
00:24:26,057 --> 00:24:27,322
Mm-hmm.

529
00:24:27,324 --> 00:24:28,656
Let's go check out your house.

530
00:24:28,658 --> 00:24:30,391
Oh, no, honey.

531
00:24:30,393 --> 00:24:32,092
Don't you... don't you think
we should get back on the road?

532
00:24:32,094 --> 00:24:34,327
No, come on. It'll be fun.

533
00:24:34,329 --> 00:24:36,662
It's... it's just a boring,
old house.

534
00:24:53,912 --> 00:24:56,013
Go! Go! Go! Go!

535
00:24:56,015 --> 00:24:57,614
Yeah! That's what's up!

536
00:24:57,616 --> 00:25:00,583
I cannot believe that
they are still doing this.

537
00:25:00,585 --> 00:25:02,451
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug

538
00:25:02,453 --> 00:25:03,618
what is it?

539
00:25:03,620 --> 00:25:06,954
Uh, it is the tri-pi chug run.

540
00:25:06,956 --> 00:25:09,456
You have to chug
a big pitcher of beer

541
00:25:09,458 --> 00:25:11,891
and then you have to get through
the course as fast as you can.

542
00:25:11,893 --> 00:25:15,027
And you did this?
'Cause you hardly drink.

543
00:25:15,029 --> 00:25:16,294
No. Yeah.

544
00:25:16,296 --> 00:25:17,617
But, honey, it's for charity.
See?

545
00:25:20,132 --> 00:25:22,899
Hi. Would you like to donate
to assburgers?

546
00:25:22,901 --> 00:25:24,901
Oh, no. We're just stopping by.

547
00:25:24,903 --> 00:25:27,203
I was a tri-pi
a long time ago, so...

548
00:25:27,205 --> 00:25:29,905
In fact,
the chug run was my idea.

549
00:25:29,907 --> 00:25:31,273
It was?

550
00:25:31,275 --> 00:25:33,041
Yeah.

551
00:25:33,043 --> 00:25:34,542
Wait. Are you Debbie Fletcher?

552
00:25:34,544 --> 00:25:35,609
Yeah.

553
00:25:35,611 --> 00:25:37,310
Oh, my shit.

554
00:25:37,312 --> 00:25:39,578
Oh, my shit!
I Can't believe it's you!

555
00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:41,980
Guys! Come here!
Bring over the book!

556
00:25:41,982 --> 00:25:44,148
It's Debbie fucking Fletcher.

557
00:25:44,150 --> 00:25:46,450
- How do you know who I am?
- Oh, my God, are you kidding me?

558
00:25:46,452 --> 00:25:48,385
You're like a legend at tri-pi!

559
00:25:48,387 --> 00:25:50,086
You're Debbie do-anything!

560
00:25:50,088 --> 00:25:51,220
Uh, Debbie do-anything?

561
00:25:51,222 --> 00:25:52,321
Go play.

562
00:25:52,323 --> 00:25:54,456
Yeah, look! See?

563
00:25:54,458 --> 00:25:56,424
Huh? Oh, God.

564
00:25:56,426 --> 00:25:58,459
Is it true that you climbed
the clock tower naked?

565
00:25:58,461 --> 00:26:00,127
Of course not.

566
00:26:00,129 --> 00:26:01,962
Did you really show your tits
to anyone who asked?

567
00:26:01,964 --> 00:26:04,264
- Honey, we should go.
- Wha... wha... hang... hang on.

568
00:26:04,266 --> 00:26:06,299
I heard that you stuck a finger
in the Dean's dick.

569
00:26:06,301 --> 00:26:08,334
Did you really burn down
the taco bell?

570
00:26:08,336 --> 00:26:10,102
I heard that you fucked
Anthony Hopkins.

571
00:26:10,104 --> 00:26:12,471
I heard that,
if people bop you on your head,

572
00:26:12,473 --> 00:26:14,606
gold coins
come out of your butt.

573
00:26:14,608 --> 00:26:16,507
Okay, ladies. Uh... What?!

574
00:26:17,643 --> 00:26:19,309
I think I know my wife
pretty well,

575
00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:21,445
and she wouldn't have done
any of those things.

576
00:26:21,447 --> 00:26:22,913
But you know what?

577
00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:24,681
What's important is
not whether I did them

578
00:26:24,683 --> 00:26:25,782
or I didn't do them.

579
00:26:25,784 --> 00:26:27,450
What's important is

580
00:26:27,452 --> 00:26:29,518
that you guys are idolizing
very bad behavior here.

581
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:30,919
Uh, ew.

582
00:26:30,921 --> 00:26:32,353
You don't sound like
Debbie do-anything.

583
00:26:32,355 --> 00:26:33,954
I had a feeling
she was all hype.

584
00:26:33,956 --> 00:26:36,389
Bet she didn't even come up
with the chug run.

585
00:26:36,391 --> 00:26:38,090
Hey! Wait a min... excuse me.

586
00:26:38,092 --> 00:26:41,460
I did come up with the chug run,
all right?

587
00:26:41,462 --> 00:26:42,727
And I ran it.

588
00:26:42,729 --> 00:26:44,128
Sure you did. No, I did.

589
00:26:44,130 --> 00:26:46,063
In 16 seconds, okay? Okay, hon.

590
00:26:46,065 --> 00:26:47,464
Prove it.

591
00:26:47,466 --> 00:26:49,199
She Can't do it now. She's old.

592
00:26:49,201 --> 00:26:50,433
Excuse me, girl?

593
00:26:50,435 --> 00:26:51,867
I didn't mean it like that.

594
00:26:51,869 --> 00:26:53,235
I just mean... You're old.

595
00:26:55,472 --> 00:26:58,873
Oh, oh, yeah!

596
00:26:58,875 --> 00:27:01,575
Never heard that laugh before.
I don't like it.

597
00:27:01,577 --> 00:27:02,742
Hold my bag. Unh-unh.

598
00:27:02,744 --> 00:27:04,777
Why? I'm not... You're not...

599
00:27:04,779 --> 00:27:06,245
You're not actually going on this thing.
Yes, I am.

600
00:27:06,247 --> 00:27:07,980
This chug run raised

601
00:27:07,982 --> 00:27:09,982
thousands of dollars
for charity, all right?

602
00:27:09,984 --> 00:27:12,417
Now, I might not have gotten
good grades while I was here.

603
00:27:12,419 --> 00:27:14,919
But at least I did something. Yeah,
it sounds like you did a lot.

604
00:27:14,921 --> 00:27:16,120
You stuck your finger
in the Dean's penis.

605
00:27:16,122 --> 00:27:17,955
You know, honey,
it's not important

606
00:27:17,957 --> 00:27:18,989
what I stuck my finger in and
what I burnt down, all right?

607
00:27:18,991 --> 00:27:20,657
What is important right now

608
00:27:20,659 --> 00:27:22,291
is that these fuckin' bitches
are disrespecting me,

609
00:27:22,293 --> 00:27:24,326
and that ain't right, okay?
"Bitches"?

610
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:26,627
Bring it on.

611
00:27:28,062 --> 00:27:30,396
No one's calling me old.
Fuck you.

612
00:27:30,398 --> 00:27:31,663
All right, boobs, pitcher!
Let's go.

613
00:27:31,665 --> 00:27:33,331
Come on, come on, come on.

614
00:27:38,837 --> 00:27:41,737
Tri-pi, motherfuckers!

615
00:27:56,316 --> 00:27:58,316
Oh, Jesus Christ.

616
00:28:07,025 --> 00:28:09,492
Three! Two! One!

617
00:28:16,199 --> 00:28:17,865
Oh, honey.

618
00:28:31,209 --> 00:28:32,676
What's mom doing?

619
00:28:32,678 --> 00:28:35,545
She's, uh, teaching
these bitches a-a lesson.

620
00:28:46,722 --> 00:28:49,889
This is the best thing
I've ever seen.

621
00:28:52,058 --> 00:28:55,526
Go! Go! Go!

622
00:28:59,031 --> 00:29:02,032
Why is she puking so much?

623
00:29:02,034 --> 00:29:03,833
It's for assburgers.

624
00:29:17,045 --> 00:29:20,046
Tri-pi, motherfuckers!

625
00:29:32,892 --> 00:29:35,058
Mom, you should try
and stay hydrated.

626
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,627
What? What are you doing?

627
00:29:41,763 --> 00:29:43,163
How 'bout some tunes?

628
00:29:46,267 --> 00:29:48,367
Oh, my God. I Can't believe it.

629
00:29:48,369 --> 00:29:50,335
I love this song!

630
00:29:50,337 --> 00:29:53,204
Guys, it's seal!

631
00:29:53,206 --> 00:29:55,906
Everybody sing it with me.

632
00:30:01,379 --> 00:30:02,378
Come on, guys.

633
00:30:08,185 --> 00:30:09,284
Deb?

634
00:30:14,423 --> 00:30:15,588
Guys? No?

635
00:30:20,293 --> 00:30:22,393
Is this a man
or a woman singing?

636
00:30:24,630 --> 00:30:26,463
And the coolest man ever!
He overcame lupus!

637
00:30:38,142 --> 00:30:39,741
"Batman forever"?

638
00:30:51,653 --> 00:30:53,052
He's come back to kill us.

639
00:30:55,122 --> 00:30:56,387
Gun it, Russ! Gunning it!

640
00:30:59,759 --> 00:31:02,126
You gotta go faster, dad!
Go faster!

641
00:31:02,128 --> 00:31:03,327
The prancer doesn't go
any faster!

642
00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:04,895
Okay, well,
what are we gonna do?!

643
00:31:04,897 --> 00:31:06,630
Let me see... maybe if I press
this rabbit button,

644
00:31:06,632 --> 00:31:07,564
it'll, like, give it
a boost or something.

645
00:31:07,566 --> 00:31:08,598
Yes. Try it!

646
00:31:12,436 --> 00:31:14,103
Why Would there be a button
for that?

647
00:31:14,105 --> 00:31:15,137
And why is it a rabbit?!

648
00:31:15,139 --> 00:31:16,938
Okay. Um... Rocket!

649
00:31:16,940 --> 00:31:18,506
Rocket. Here you go.
Try that! Yes.

650
00:31:18,508 --> 00:31:20,341
- What?
- What?

651
00:31:20,343 --> 00:31:21,342
What's happening? -Why am I swiveling?
I'm swiveling!

652
00:31:21,344 --> 00:31:22,609
I don't know! I don't know!

653
00:31:22,611 --> 00:31:24,444
Grab the wheel! Grab the wheel!

654
00:31:24,446 --> 00:31:26,647
Hit the brake! Hit the gas!
Hit the gas! -Okay, I'm...

655
00:31:29,615 --> 00:31:31,415
I don't wanna die!

656
00:31:35,119 --> 00:31:38,354
Okay, I got the wheel! I got the wheel!
Okay! Okay!

657
00:31:38,356 --> 00:31:40,489
Okay, what are we gonna do?

658
00:31:40,491 --> 00:31:42,791
I have an idea. What?

659
00:31:42,793 --> 00:31:44,425
Handbrake turn. What?

660
00:31:44,427 --> 00:31:46,160
I pull the wheel to the left,
yank the handbrake,

661
00:31:46,162 --> 00:31:48,428
we do a 180, cross the median,
drive right past him.

662
00:31:48,430 --> 00:31:49,629
You know how to do that, dad?

663
00:31:49,631 --> 00:31:51,263
If Vin diesel can do it,
so can I.

664
00:31:51,265 --> 00:31:52,797
Why are you as good
as Vin diesel?

665
00:31:52,799 --> 00:31:54,365
Hang on!

666
00:32:05,175 --> 00:32:07,508
That's not
what I was trying to do.

667
00:32:07,510 --> 00:32:10,043
Everybody okay? Oh, shit!

668
00:32:20,218 --> 00:32:21,317
Go, dad! Dad! Dad! Go! Go!

669
00:32:21,319 --> 00:32:23,252
Oh, my God. Oh, God!

670
00:32:34,029 --> 00:32:35,529
Whoa!

671
00:32:42,503 --> 00:32:44,237
Oh, shit!

672
00:32:44,239 --> 00:32:45,638
Goddamn it.

673
00:32:54,346 --> 00:32:57,047
All right, boys. This is you.

674
00:32:57,049 --> 00:32:58,048
I call both beds!

675
00:32:58,050 --> 00:32:59,749
You get one bed.

676
00:32:59,751 --> 00:33:02,084
If you guys need anything,
mom and I are right next door.

677
00:33:02,086 --> 00:33:03,819
Oh, I think I saw a hot tub,
dad.

678
00:33:03,821 --> 00:33:05,320
Is it okay if I take a soak?

679
00:33:05,322 --> 00:33:07,755
Yeah. Yeah, sure.

680
00:33:07,757 --> 00:33:10,224
But if anyone tries
to shove you in their car,

681
00:33:10,226 --> 00:33:12,359
you give 'em a good scratch
like I showed ya.

682
00:33:12,361 --> 00:33:14,027
I will. All right. Attaboy.

683
00:33:14,029 --> 00:33:16,329
Thanks.

684
00:33:16,331 --> 00:33:19,265
So...
How come you never told me

685
00:33:19,267 --> 00:33:22,868
about the whole
Debbie do-anything thing?

686
00:33:22,870 --> 00:33:25,103
Come on, that was so long ago.

687
00:33:25,105 --> 00:33:27,705
Yeah, but it's part
of who you are and...

688
00:33:27,707 --> 00:33:29,573
I wanna know all about you.

689
00:33:29,575 --> 00:33:33,043
All right. Well, that's fair.
What do you wanna know?

690
00:33:33,045 --> 00:33:36,846
How many guys did you sleep with before me?
Oh, no-no-no-no-no.

691
00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:38,815
No-no-no-no-no. Ah, come on.

692
00:33:38,817 --> 00:33:40,883
Come on. That's not important.

693
00:33:40,885 --> 00:33:42,517
Well, no, I know.
But I'm just...

694
00:33:42,519 --> 00:33:43,551
you really need to know?

695
00:33:43,553 --> 00:33:44,718
It just...

696
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:46,286
Oh, okay. I'm just curious.

697
00:33:46,288 --> 00:33:47,353
Okay, okay.

698
00:33:47,355 --> 00:33:50,254
Um... Let's see.

699
00:33:51,389 --> 00:33:53,523
Hmm.

700
00:33:53,525 --> 00:33:57,293
And then... Um...

701
00:33:57,295 --> 00:33:58,827
Kinda takin' you
a little while.

702
00:33:58,829 --> 00:34:02,363
Okay, so, uh, around... Th...

703
00:34:02,365 --> 00:34:04,331
three. Three.

704
00:34:04,333 --> 00:34:06,333
That's actually reassuring,

705
00:34:06,335 --> 00:34:07,867
'cause it's the same as me.

706
00:34:07,869 --> 00:34:10,703
No. Didn't say three.

707
00:34:10,705 --> 00:34:13,172
13. 13?

708
00:34:13,174 --> 00:34:14,339
Nope.

709
00:34:14,341 --> 00:34:15,473
And it's not three?

710
00:34:15,475 --> 00:34:16,874
It's around... it's around 30.

711
00:34:16,876 --> 00:34:18,876
30! Hoo!

712
00:34:18,878 --> 00:34:20,244
Wow! Holy cow.

713
00:34:20,246 --> 00:34:23,180
See, now I feel like
You're judging me.

714
00:34:23,182 --> 00:34:25,415
I'm judging<i> me.</i>

715
00:34:25,417 --> 00:34:28,384
Your number
is so much higher than mine.

716
00:34:28,386 --> 00:34:30,686
Yes, it is a big number,
but that doesn't matter.

717
00:34:30,688 --> 00:34:31,820
Honey, it doesn't matter.

718
00:34:31,822 --> 00:34:32,822
You're... You're so cool.

719
00:34:32,823 --> 00:34:34,756
I-I-I-I feel like a loser.

720
00:34:34,758 --> 00:34:36,023
You are not a loser.

721
00:34:36,025 --> 00:34:37,391
Okay? Yeah?

722
00:34:37,393 --> 00:34:39,860
'Cause, uh,
I had to work pretty hard

723
00:34:39,862 --> 00:34:41,394
just to get those three.

724
00:34:42,764 --> 00:34:44,163
Had to take care
of Jenny's grandfather

725
00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:46,265
for months
before she slept with me.

726
00:34:46,267 --> 00:34:47,833
And he was racist.

727
00:34:47,835 --> 00:34:49,067
Please don't base it on me.

728
00:34:49,069 --> 00:34:50,768
I was, like, crazy back then.

729
00:34:50,770 --> 00:34:54,404
I was completely immature
and acting out

730
00:34:54,406 --> 00:34:57,340
and just really, like,
free with my body,

731
00:34:57,342 --> 00:34:59,008
and that's just not
who I am anymore.

732
00:34:59,010 --> 00:35:01,210
That's not who we are.

733
00:35:01,212 --> 00:35:03,912
Well... We're pretty free
with our bodies.

734
00:35:03,914 --> 00:35:08,549
But, y-you have to admit
I-I feel like we've gotten...

735
00:35:08,551 --> 00:35:12,952
Like, less free
with our bodies.

736
00:35:12,954 --> 00:35:15,354
But we have sex every week
with our bodies.

737
00:35:15,356 --> 00:35:20,125
We do. But, I mean, it's gotten
a little routine, babe.

738
00:35:20,127 --> 00:35:21,593
You know, you always

739
00:35:21,595 --> 00:35:23,094
are lighting
that same yankee candle...

740
00:35:23,096 --> 00:35:24,562
and everything.

741
00:35:24,564 --> 00:35:25,629
And I don't know,

742
00:35:25,631 --> 00:35:27,063
it might be nice

743
00:35:27,065 --> 00:35:29,899
to mix it up a little bit
every once in a while.

744
00:35:29,901 --> 00:35:31,233
Okay? No big deal.

745
00:35:31,235 --> 00:35:33,268
I-I-I'm gonna go take a shower.

746
00:35:33,270 --> 00:35:35,303
Okay? I'm gonna
take one with you.

747
00:35:35,305 --> 00:35:36,904
Hmm?

748
00:35:36,906 --> 00:35:39,306
Uh... We'll have sex in it.

749
00:35:39,308 --> 00:35:41,074
Yeah. In the shower.

750
00:35:41,076 --> 00:35:44,043
How's that for gettin' free
with our bodies,

751
00:35:44,045 --> 00:35:45,310
Debbie do-anything?

752
00:35:45,312 --> 00:35:47,078
I like that. Yeah.

753
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,213
Oh, Russ.

754
00:35:51,217 --> 00:35:53,116
Just be careful
not to drop the soap.

755
00:35:53,118 --> 00:35:54,584
Oh, I won't.

756
00:35:56,955 --> 00:35:58,487
What?

757
00:35:58,489 --> 00:36:00,422
This is fun and different.

758
00:36:00,424 --> 00:36:02,257
I know. It is.

759
00:36:02,259 --> 00:36:04,726
You are so cute when you get
excited about stuff.

760
00:36:04,728 --> 00:36:08,896
Mm. Mm.
You're, like, so cute always.

761
00:36:08,898 --> 00:36:10,564
Aww. Honey.

762
00:36:10,566 --> 00:36:12,499
Oh.

763
00:36:13,567 --> 00:36:14,934
Aah! Oh, my... holy shit!

764
00:36:14,936 --> 00:36:16,435
Are those mushrooms?!

765
00:36:16,437 --> 00:36:18,270
It looks like somebody
blew their head off in there.

766
00:36:18,272 --> 00:36:19,571
Oh, God.

767
00:36:19,573 --> 00:36:20,572
God.

768
00:36:20,574 --> 00:36:22,106
So, should we, uh...

769
00:36:22,108 --> 00:36:24,041
Should we get in or...

770
00:36:24,942 --> 00:36:26,943
No, right?

771
00:36:26,945 --> 00:36:29,578
Yeah. I'm gonna see if There's
somethin' to clean that with.

772
00:36:29,580 --> 00:36:30,812
Mm.

773
00:36:30,814 --> 00:36:33,080
Maybe the housekeeping
left a...

774
00:36:33,082 --> 00:36:35,916
Oh. Well, here's a brillo pad.

775
00:36:35,918 --> 00:36:37,617
I'll just...

776
00:36:37,619 --> 00:36:39,251
Russ. Yeah.

777
00:36:39,253 --> 00:36:40,485
That's not a brillo pad.

778
00:36:40,487 --> 00:36:41,986
It's a ball of pubic hair.

779
00:36:41,988 --> 00:36:44,421
Oh! Aah!

780
00:36:44,423 --> 00:36:46,256
Oh, my gosh.
There's so much of it.

781
00:36:46,258 --> 00:36:49,792
Who has that much pubic hair?!
It's not even possible.

782
00:36:49,794 --> 00:36:52,161
No, not one person.
That's all different colors.

783
00:36:53,998 --> 00:36:56,498
That's from, like,
30 different guys.

784
00:36:56,500 --> 00:36:57,866
Oh, shut up, Russ.

785
00:36:57,868 --> 00:37:00,468
No. I-I'm sorry.

786
00:37:26,359 --> 00:37:28,659
You're pretty good. Oh!

787
00:37:28,661 --> 00:37:30,327
Geez!

788
00:37:30,329 --> 00:37:32,395
Sorry.

789
00:37:32,397 --> 00:37:34,797
I, uh
I didn't mean to scare you.

790
00:37:36,299 --> 00:37:37,299
Hi.

791
00:37:37,301 --> 00:37:38,300
Hi.

792
00:37:38,302 --> 00:37:39,367
You were in the jeep.

793
00:37:39,369 --> 00:37:41,736
And you were
in that plastic bag.

794
00:37:41,738 --> 00:37:44,538
That was my stupid brother.

795
00:37:44,540 --> 00:37:46,673
Gotcha. Big brothers suck.

796
00:37:46,675 --> 00:37:50,342
Oh, no. Yeah, big.

797
00:37:50,344 --> 00:37:51,576
I'm Adena.

798
00:37:51,578 --> 00:37:53,477
James.

799
00:37:53,479 --> 00:37:55,579
- I have a penis.
- What?

800
00:37:55,581 --> 00:37:57,314
It's on your guitar.

801
00:37:57,316 --> 00:37:58,648
Oh.

802
00:37:58,650 --> 00:37:59,849
Same brother.

803
00:37:59,851 --> 00:38:01,717
- What an asshole.
- Yeah.

804
00:38:02,653 --> 00:38:04,019
You wanna go in?

805
00:38:04,021 --> 00:38:06,821
Absolutely.

806
00:38:06,823 --> 00:38:08,823
Well, what have we here?

807
00:38:08,825 --> 00:38:11,192
Little Romeo and Juliet
situation?

808
00:38:12,762 --> 00:38:15,529
My name's Russ.
Pleased to meet you both.

809
00:38:15,531 --> 00:38:20,200
I'm just a stranger,
passin' through town.

810
00:38:20,202 --> 00:38:21,668
But I couldn't help noticing

811
00:38:21,670 --> 00:38:23,069
how incredibly handsome
this young man is.

812
00:38:23,071 --> 00:38:25,838
What's your story?
You got a girlfriend?

813
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,006
- No.
- What?

814
00:38:28,008 --> 00:38:30,241
No girlfriend?

815
00:38:30,243 --> 00:38:32,610
Cute boy like that?
Somebody's gonna snatch you up.

816
00:38:32,612 --> 00:38:34,578
- Do you want me to call the cops?
- No.

817
00:38:34,580 --> 00:38:38,414
And he plays guitar? Dream boy!

818
00:38:38,416 --> 00:38:39,681
- Make a muscle.
- I'd...

819
00:38:39,683 --> 00:38:40,948
- Do it!
- ...Rather not.

820
00:38:40,950 --> 00:38:42,849
Take your shirt off.
Make a muscle.

821
00:38:42,851 --> 00:38:44,784
- I really don't want to.
- Don't be shy.

822
00:38:44,786 --> 00:38:46,752
- Show us what You're workin' with.
- All right.

823
00:38:46,754 --> 00:38:49,554
Um, I should go.

824
00:38:49,556 --> 00:38:51,222
Um...

825
00:38:51,224 --> 00:38:52,890
Are you sure
that you'll be okay?

826
00:38:52,892 --> 00:38:54,625
I think so.

827
00:38:54,627 --> 00:38:56,927
Okay.

828
00:38:59,130 --> 00:39:00,597
Bye.

829
00:39:00,599 --> 00:39:01,898
Dang it.

830
00:39:01,900 --> 00:39:04,467
Dad, why Would you do that?

831
00:39:04,469 --> 00:39:06,769
Saw ya talkin' to her.
Figured you could use a wingman.

832
00:39:06,771 --> 00:39:08,537
I didn't need a wingman.

833
00:39:08,539 --> 00:39:09,905
Well...

834
00:39:09,907 --> 00:39:11,706
Looks like ya did. She left.

835
00:39:11,708 --> 00:39:13,307
That's 'cause you were
approaching... you know, James,

836
00:39:13,309 --> 00:39:15,876
when I was your age,
grandpa Clark sat me down,

837
00:39:15,878 --> 00:39:18,245
and we had a little chat.

838
00:39:19,615 --> 00:39:21,214
Seeing you with that girl
made me realize

839
00:39:21,216 --> 00:39:23,649
that we haven't
had that chat yet.

840
00:39:23,651 --> 00:39:25,484
- We don't need that chat.
- Yeah?

841
00:39:25,486 --> 00:39:27,452
No. Come on. I know
it's embarrassing.

842
00:39:27,454 --> 00:39:29,387
But it'd be a lot
more embarrassing

843
00:39:29,389 --> 00:39:31,288
if you found yourself
tummy to tummy

844
00:39:31,290 --> 00:39:32,622
with a lady friend,

845
00:39:32,624 --> 00:39:33,823
and you didn't know
what goes where.

846
00:39:33,825 --> 00:39:35,124
- I know what goes where.
- You do?

847
00:39:35,126 --> 00:39:36,125
- Uh-huh.
- Ya sure?

848
00:39:36,127 --> 00:39:37,659
Yep.

849
00:39:37,661 --> 00:39:39,727
All right. All right.

850
00:39:39,729 --> 00:39:41,261
Well, I just want you to know

851
00:39:41,263 --> 00:39:42,929
I'm here
to answer any questions

852
00:39:42,931 --> 00:39:44,764
you might have
about that stuff,

853
00:39:44,766 --> 00:39:47,500
no matter how uncomfortable
it seems.

854
00:39:49,436 --> 00:39:51,003
Yeah, okay.

855
00:39:51,005 --> 00:39:52,671
- Yeah, right. Here it comes.
- Yeah. All right.

856
00:39:52,673 --> 00:39:54,806
Okay.

857
00:39:54,808 --> 00:39:57,175
Uh, there were
some kids at school

858
00:39:57,177 --> 00:40:00,244
who were talking
about rim jobs.

859
00:40:00,246 --> 00:40:02,079
- Mm.
- So, what's that?

860
00:40:02,081 --> 00:40:03,947
What's a rim job?

861
00:40:03,949 --> 00:40:05,949
- Rim jobs.
- Yeah.

862
00:40:05,951 --> 00:40:08,117
Hmm. Is that r-I-m?

863
00:40:08,119 --> 00:40:09,384
Mm-hmm.

864
00:40:10,452 --> 00:40:11,785
Rim job. Country of origin.

865
00:40:11,787 --> 00:40:13,119
I don't know.

866
00:40:13,121 --> 00:40:14,820
Um, America.

867
00:40:14,822 --> 00:40:17,656
Can I hear it in a sentence?

868
00:40:17,658 --> 00:40:19,024
"What's a rim job, dad?"

869
00:40:19,026 --> 00:40:20,492
Oh.

870
00:40:21,460 --> 00:40:23,928
Well, rim job.

871
00:40:23,930 --> 00:40:25,296
I Would guess a rim job is

872
00:40:25,298 --> 00:40:27,598
when you kiss someone
with your mouth closed.

873
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,801
Right? So You're only using
the rim of your mouth.

874
00:40:30,803 --> 00:40:32,602
- That's it?
- Sure.

875
00:40:32,604 --> 00:40:35,771
It... it felt like
it was something way dirtier.

876
00:40:35,773 --> 00:40:38,640
No, I mean,
what else could it be?

877
00:40:38,642 --> 00:40:39,874
Any other questions?

878
00:40:39,876 --> 00:40:41,642
I guess not.

879
00:40:41,644 --> 00:40:44,811
Good talk, James.

880
00:40:44,813 --> 00:40:47,380
Now, I hope You're not too old

881
00:40:47,382 --> 00:40:50,983
to let your dad give you
a good-night rim job.

882
00:42:05,150 --> 00:42:07,817
Looks like we might get
to aunt Audrey's before dinner.

883
00:42:07,819 --> 00:42:09,652
Oh, will Uncle stone be there?

884
00:42:09,654 --> 00:42:11,286
Yeah, I suppose he will.

885
00:42:11,288 --> 00:42:12,654
Uncle stone is cool.

886
00:42:12,656 --> 00:42:14,522
You have to be cool
to be a celebrity.

887
00:42:15,791 --> 00:42:17,857
He's not exactly a celebrity.

888
00:42:17,859 --> 00:42:19,859
I mean, he's a local weatherman.
That's all.

889
00:42:19,861 --> 00:42:21,727
A-actually, Audrey said

890
00:42:21,729 --> 00:42:23,161
that the networks
are interested in him.

891
00:42:23,163 --> 00:42:24,362
- Yeah?
- Oh, yeah.

892
00:42:24,364 --> 00:42:25,629
All right. Well, good for him.

893
00:42:25,631 --> 00:42:27,063
Mom, do you think Uncle stone

894
00:42:27,065 --> 00:42:28,330
will let me ride his horse?

895
00:42:28,332 --> 00:42:30,065
I don't see why not.

896
00:42:30,067 --> 00:42:31,666
- Do you think I can shoot his guns?
- No, you cannot.

897
00:42:31,668 --> 00:42:33,200
Too bad.

898
00:42:33,202 --> 00:42:36,035
I Would've shot you
right off that fuckin' horse.

899
00:42:38,038 --> 00:42:39,571
You know, I never
Would've imagined my sister

900
00:42:39,573 --> 00:42:41,306
marrying such a conservative.

901
00:42:41,308 --> 00:42:42,740
Oh, yeah, but just because

902
00:42:42,742 --> 00:42:45,008
stone's political beliefs
are different than ours

903
00:42:45,010 --> 00:42:46,075
doesn't mean
he's not good-looking.

904
00:42:46,077 --> 00:42:49,977
I... um... A good person.

905
00:42:51,180 --> 00:42:52,479
Ya said it!

906
00:42:52,481 --> 00:42:54,180
- Uh, honey...
- Hey, look at that!

907
00:42:54,182 --> 00:42:57,383
Hot Springs up ahead.
We've always wanted to do that.

908
00:42:57,385 --> 00:42:59,251
Oh, honey, we don't
wanna be late to Audrey's.

909
00:42:59,253 --> 00:43:01,886
So We're a few minutes late.

910
00:43:01,888 --> 00:43:03,520
We're on vacation. Right?

911
00:43:03,522 --> 00:43:05,321
Come on. Let's have some fun.

912
00:43:06,389 --> 00:43:07,422
Okay.

913
00:43:14,763 --> 00:43:17,264
- Oh, look at the line.
- This is gonna take forever.

914
00:43:17,266 --> 00:43:18,665
Come on, guys.

915
00:43:18,667 --> 00:43:20,700
How often do we get to soak
in hot water?

916
00:43:20,702 --> 00:43:22,568
Every time we take a bath.

917
00:43:22,570 --> 00:43:25,337
No. This is different.
'Kay, this is natural.

918
00:43:25,339 --> 00:43:27,772
This water was heated
in mother nature's bowels.

919
00:43:27,774 --> 00:43:29,607
Oh, gross.

920
00:43:29,609 --> 00:43:32,443
There's gotta be
another way in.

921
00:43:32,445 --> 00:43:33,911
I'm gonna ask this gentleman.

922
00:43:33,913 --> 00:43:35,612
I bet he'd know.

923
00:43:35,614 --> 00:43:36,946
Excuse me, sir.

924
00:43:36,948 --> 00:43:38,414
- Hi there.
- Hey. Hi.

925
00:43:38,416 --> 00:43:40,215
Hey, we were wondering.

926
00:43:40,217 --> 00:43:42,784
Is there another entrance
to the hot Springs?

927
00:43:42,786 --> 00:43:45,219
Like, a secret entrance
the locals use?

928
00:43:45,221 --> 00:43:47,287
Line can get pretty long
this time of year, huh?

929
00:43:47,289 --> 00:43:49,222
Yeah. Yeah, it sure can.

930
00:43:49,224 --> 00:43:50,957
Yeah, I'll tell you
what y'all do.

931
00:43:50,959 --> 00:43:53,626
Uh, can you see that dirt road?
That path there on the left?

932
00:43:53,628 --> 00:43:55,060
Yeah.

933
00:43:55,062 --> 00:43:57,429
If you just follow that
all the way up,

934
00:43:57,431 --> 00:43:59,030
that'll take you
to the hot Springs.

935
00:43:59,032 --> 00:44:01,232
All right. Perfect. Thank you.

936
00:44:01,234 --> 00:44:02,633
Oh, no, no. You bet.

937
00:44:02,635 --> 00:44:04,234
Y'all have a good time.

938
00:44:04,236 --> 00:44:05,602
Oh, will do!

939
00:44:06,771 --> 00:44:08,103
Hey, what's your
pet rat's name?

940
00:44:08,105 --> 00:44:09,471
Is my pet what?

941
00:44:09,473 --> 00:44:10,638
The...

942
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:11,905
What the fuck?

943
00:44:11,907 --> 00:44:12,872
- Oh!
- What the fuck?!

944
00:44:12,874 --> 00:44:14,039
What the fuck?

945
00:44:14,041 --> 00:44:15,440
I don't know him.

946
00:44:25,950 --> 00:44:27,317
Honey, are you sure about this?

947
00:44:27,319 --> 00:44:29,786
I mean, nobody else
is going this way.

948
00:44:29,788 --> 00:44:34,924
Yeah, well, most people
think inside the box.

949
00:44:34,926 --> 00:44:37,226
But you know who thinks
outside the box?

950
00:44:37,228 --> 00:44:39,328
Uncle stone?

951
00:44:39,330 --> 00:44:42,164
Me. Your father.

952
00:44:46,635 --> 00:44:50,004
Um, honey,
I don't see any hot Springs.

953
00:44:50,006 --> 00:44:51,505
Well, the guy said

954
00:44:51,507 --> 00:44:52,906
it was right at the end
of this road, so...

955
00:44:52,908 --> 00:44:54,307
Well, the guy also did not know

956
00:44:54,309 --> 00:44:55,608
he had a rat on his shoulder,

957
00:44:55,610 --> 00:44:57,409
so There's that.

958
00:44:57,411 --> 00:44:58,510
Hold on.

959
00:45:07,252 --> 00:45:09,920
Wow. Honey. This is beautiful.

960
00:45:09,922 --> 00:45:12,289
- Isn't it?
- Yeah.

961
00:45:13,625 --> 00:45:15,124
All right, everyone.

962
00:45:15,126 --> 00:45:17,359
In your bathing suits. Now!

963
00:45:19,162 --> 00:45:23,630
Looks like we found
our own private hot spring.

964
00:45:23,632 --> 00:45:26,032
I say we call it
"Griswold Springs."

965
00:45:27,268 --> 00:45:28,967
Oh! The water's perfect.

966
00:45:28,969 --> 00:45:30,868
Oh, my God. It's so nice.

967
00:45:30,870 --> 00:45:32,870
Why does it smell like
rotten eggs?

968
00:45:32,872 --> 00:45:34,137
Oh, that's the sulfur, buddy.

969
00:45:34,139 --> 00:45:35,538
- Yeah.
- It's natural.

970
00:45:35,540 --> 00:45:37,806
Yeah. And it's really good
for you, too.

971
00:45:37,808 --> 00:45:40,842
Actually, the minerals
that are in this mud here,

972
00:45:40,844 --> 00:45:42,710
they draw toxins
out of your body.

973
00:45:42,712 --> 00:45:44,378
- Ah.
- Can you believe that?

974
00:45:44,380 --> 00:45:45,879
Cool, right?

975
00:45:49,784 --> 00:45:51,550
Oh, wow.

976
00:45:51,552 --> 00:45:53,351
Mm.

977
00:45:53,353 --> 00:45:55,553
This is perfect.

978
00:45:55,555 --> 00:45:57,288
It's exactly what we needed.

979
00:45:57,290 --> 00:45:59,690
Oh, yeah. Good call, Griswold.

980
00:46:01,526 --> 00:46:04,528
- Oh, man.
- Yeah.

981
00:46:04,530 --> 00:46:05,896
Oh, yeah. That's it.

982
00:46:05,898 --> 00:46:07,163
That's it.

983
00:46:07,165 --> 00:46:09,565
I can feel my body detoxifying.

984
00:46:14,637 --> 00:46:17,639
You know...
It tastes a little shitty,

985
00:46:17,641 --> 00:46:19,407
but I think that's part of it.

986
00:46:19,409 --> 00:46:20,374
- Yeah.
- That's okay.

987
00:46:20,376 --> 00:46:22,409
This is wonderful.

988
00:46:26,848 --> 00:46:29,315
That is the stuff!

989
00:46:29,317 --> 00:46:30,482
Oh.

990
00:46:30,484 --> 00:46:31,916
What is that, honey?
On your ear.

991
00:46:31,918 --> 00:46:33,751
What's on your ear?

992
00:46:33,753 --> 00:46:35,486
What is that?

993
00:46:35,488 --> 00:46:36,887
Oh, it's an ear!

994
00:46:36,889 --> 00:46:37,888
Oh!

995
00:46:39,591 --> 00:46:41,724
Look, James. Found a dart.

996
00:46:41,726 --> 00:46:43,192
Are you crazy?!

997
00:46:43,194 --> 00:46:45,928
Oh, my God! Everybody out
of Griswold Springs!

998
00:46:45,930 --> 00:46:47,329
- Get out of the poop!
- That was nasty!

999
00:46:47,331 --> 00:46:50,265
All over me!

1000
00:46:50,267 --> 00:46:52,700
I don't like Griswold Springs.

1001
00:46:52,702 --> 00:46:55,035
Is that our car alarm?

1002
00:46:56,938 --> 00:46:58,904
What?!

1003
00:46:58,906 --> 00:47:01,039
How come that local guy
didn't tell us

1004
00:47:01,041 --> 00:47:03,174
there are thieves
in these woods?

1005
00:47:04,276 --> 00:47:05,509
Oh, right.

1006
00:47:06,410 --> 00:47:08,010
He took my guitar.

1007
00:47:08,012 --> 00:47:10,045
Oh, my God.
He took all our money, Russ.

1008
00:47:10,047 --> 00:47:11,946
All right.
Not a best-case scenario.

1009
00:47:11,948 --> 00:47:15,082
But, hey. He left your book.

1010
00:47:15,084 --> 00:47:18,585
So, I guess
we get the last laugh.

1011
00:47:18,587 --> 00:47:19,919
Oh, really, honey?

1012
00:47:19,921 --> 00:47:22,354
We're naked
and covered in human waste.

1013
00:47:22,356 --> 00:47:24,788
Oh, come on, sweetheart.
We don't know that it's human.

1014
00:47:32,728 --> 00:47:34,228
This is so embarrassing.

1015
00:47:34,230 --> 00:47:35,729
I feel like
your cousin Eddie's family.

1016
00:47:35,731 --> 00:47:37,363
It's no big deal.

1017
00:47:37,365 --> 00:47:39,698
We'll just tell stone and Audrey
what happened.

1018
00:47:39,700 --> 00:47:41,533
Kids, remember what happened?

1019
00:47:41,535 --> 00:47:44,035
We pulled over to rescue a baby
from a burning car

1020
00:47:44,037 --> 00:47:46,904
and somebody stole all of our
stuff while we were distracted.

1021
00:47:46,906 --> 00:47:49,706
And why are we naked
and covered in feces?

1022
00:47:49,708 --> 00:47:51,741
I don't remember.

1023
00:47:51,743 --> 00:47:54,110
That's right.
We don't remember.

1024
00:48:12,326 --> 00:48:13,459
Oh, my God.

1025
00:48:13,461 --> 00:48:15,260
Hmm?

1026
00:48:15,262 --> 00:48:16,761
Oh, come on.

1027
00:48:19,999 --> 00:48:21,598
- What're we gonna do?
- Can you gimme a hand with this?

1028
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:23,099
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Please?

1029
00:48:23,101 --> 00:48:25,801
Just... yeah.

1030
00:48:25,803 --> 00:48:27,770
Oh, gosh.

1031
00:48:27,772 --> 00:48:29,538
I-I Can't.
I Can't... I Can't get it off.

1032
00:48:29,540 --> 00:48:31,339
- Use your spit.
- Oh, okay.

1033
00:48:32,942 --> 00:48:34,441
Focus on the balls.

1034
00:48:34,443 --> 00:48:36,576
If you guys wanna stop,
that'd be good, too.

1035
00:48:38,346 --> 00:48:40,846
Stay on the balls.
I've got the shaft.

1036
00:48:40,848 --> 00:48:43,381
Hi, y'all!

1037
00:48:43,383 --> 00:48:45,282
Hey! Oh, my goodness. Hi!

1038
00:48:45,284 --> 00:48:46,850
- Hi.
- What happened?

1039
00:48:46,852 --> 00:48:50,720
Well, that's a...
it's a crazy story, um...

1040
00:48:50,722 --> 00:48:52,555
dad got scammed
by a guy at a park.

1041
00:48:52,557 --> 00:48:55,024
- Kevin!
- Same old rusty.

1042
00:48:55,026 --> 00:48:56,592
You'd buy water from a faucet.

1043
00:49:00,096 --> 00:49:02,931
Anyway,
you guys look disgusting.

1044
00:49:02,933 --> 00:49:04,565
So, um, I have some clothes

1045
00:49:04,567 --> 00:49:06,033
that I was gonna give
to the church

1046
00:49:06,035 --> 00:49:07,567
if you guys wanna borrow
some of those.

1047
00:49:07,569 --> 00:49:08,968
Great. Thank you, Audrey.

1048
00:49:08,970 --> 00:49:10,069
- Come on inside.
- Thanks.

1049
00:49:10,071 --> 00:49:11,437
All right.

1050
00:49:11,439 --> 00:49:13,105
Boy, y'all stink.

1051
00:49:16,808 --> 00:49:19,309
Oh, I don't like that.

1052
00:49:19,311 --> 00:49:22,211
Man, this place makes our house
look like shit.

1053
00:49:22,213 --> 00:49:24,213
Well, Kevin,

1054
00:49:24,215 --> 00:49:26,715
that's only 'cause a dollar
goes much further out here

1055
00:49:26,717 --> 00:49:29,050
than it does in Chicago.

1056
00:49:29,052 --> 00:49:31,085
Especially when you make
a lot more of 'em.

1057
00:49:31,087 --> 00:49:32,653
Ha.

1058
00:49:32,655 --> 00:49:34,655
Just messin' with ya. Shoot!

1059
00:49:34,657 --> 00:49:37,324
You boys are growin' faster
than a weed under a faucet.

1060
00:49:37,326 --> 00:49:38,658
You still wrasslin', son?

1061
00:49:38,660 --> 00:49:40,292
- Uh-huh.
- Oh? Well, come on.

1062
00:49:40,294 --> 00:49:42,159
Show me what ya got.

1063
00:49:45,931 --> 00:49:47,964
Hey, Kevin.
Get off your brother, please.

1064
00:49:47,966 --> 00:49:49,832
They're just havin' themselves
a wrassle.

1065
00:49:49,834 --> 00:49:50,966
It's what brothers do.

1066
00:49:50,968 --> 00:49:53,435
Hey, ooh, look at you guys.

1067
00:49:53,437 --> 00:49:55,170
Hot damn. Debbie Griswold.

1068
00:49:55,172 --> 00:49:56,738
You just keep gettin' prettier.

1069
00:49:56,740 --> 00:49:59,173
- Oh, stop.
- No, I mean it.

1070
00:49:59,175 --> 00:50:02,509
You could make hot water
come out of the cold faucet.

1071
00:50:02,511 --> 00:50:06,179
That's... that's very sweet.

1072
00:50:06,181 --> 00:50:08,814
You know, I remember the night
you first wore that dress.

1073
00:50:08,816 --> 00:50:11,483
- You remember that night?
- Yeah, I remember that night.

1074
00:50:11,485 --> 00:50:14,319
- I'll never forget that night.
- Neither will I, baby.

1075
00:50:14,321 --> 00:50:15,787
You're my fuckin' husband.

1076
00:50:15,789 --> 00:50:18,022
Oh, betcha I am.
I'm your caveman.

1077
00:50:19,425 --> 00:50:21,291
I'll rip you in half.

1078
00:50:21,293 --> 00:50:22,425
Ooh.

1079
00:50:22,427 --> 00:50:24,193
I wanna have all your babies.

1080
00:50:24,195 --> 00:50:25,427
Ooh. Ooh, baby.

1081
00:50:28,999 --> 00:50:30,999
I hit the fuckin' jackpot
with you.

1082
00:50:31,001 --> 00:50:33,034
Oh, God, what I'm gonna do
to you tonight.

1083
00:50:34,604 --> 00:50:37,070
Who wants to see
stone's man cave?

1084
00:50:38,272 --> 00:50:40,206
- Uh...
- Yeah.

1085
00:50:40,208 --> 00:50:41,840
Is this Charlton Heston?

1086
00:50:41,842 --> 00:50:44,008
Yep. Chuck was a good friend.

1087
00:50:44,010 --> 00:50:46,210
I Can't tell ya
how many nights we spent

1088
00:50:46,212 --> 00:50:47,678
drinkin' bourbon together

1089
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:49,479
and cryin' about the state
of this country.

1090
00:50:49,481 --> 00:50:53,149
It's true. They did.
They literally cried together.

1091
00:50:53,151 --> 00:50:55,484
Somehow I don't see you crying,
though, stone.

1092
00:50:55,486 --> 00:50:57,285
Yeah, that's, uh,

1093
00:50:57,287 --> 00:50:59,120
that's kind of embarrassing.
Right?

1094
00:50:59,122 --> 00:51:01,655
Not embarrassing to me.

1095
00:51:01,657 --> 00:51:04,991
Even the strongest faucet
sometimes lets out a few drops.

1096
00:51:04,993 --> 00:51:07,226
What is with these faucets?

1097
00:51:07,228 --> 00:51:08,794
Hey, everyone thought
that f-4 twister

1098
00:51:08,796 --> 00:51:10,495
was gonna bypass Harris county.

1099
00:51:10,497 --> 00:51:11,829
Not my stone.

1100
00:51:11,831 --> 00:51:14,364
I had a feelin' that
that low-pressure system

1101
00:51:14,366 --> 00:51:16,499
was gonna make a beeline
for mission bend.

1102
00:51:16,501 --> 00:51:18,534
Thanks to my report,

1103
00:51:18,536 --> 00:51:21,236
those people had
an extra 15 minutes to evacuate.

1104
00:51:21,238 --> 00:51:23,371
Governor Perry said

1105
00:51:23,373 --> 00:51:24,839
he saved 2,000 lives.

1106
00:51:24,841 --> 00:51:27,975
That's how many we lost
at pearl harbor,

1107
00:51:27,977 --> 00:51:31,078
so basically,
he stopped pearl harbor.

1108
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:32,846
That's when
the national news called.

1109
00:51:32,848 --> 00:51:34,147
Now, between us...

1110
00:51:34,149 --> 00:51:35,381
It's lookin' good.
Ain't it, honey?

1111
00:51:35,383 --> 00:51:36,915
Mmhmm.

1112
00:51:36,917 --> 00:51:39,083
'Course none of that
Would've been possible

1113
00:51:39,085 --> 00:51:41,685
without my sugar mama, here,

1114
00:51:41,687 --> 00:51:42,986
workin' day and night

1115
00:51:42,988 --> 00:51:44,153
to put me
through meteorology school.

1116
00:51:44,155 --> 00:51:45,888
I liked workin', baby.

1117
00:51:45,890 --> 00:51:47,823
I didn't mind it one bit.

1118
00:51:47,825 --> 00:51:49,758
Well, you never have
to do it again, darlin'.

1119
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:51,493
Um, but it kinda
gave me purpose.

1120
00:51:51,495 --> 00:51:53,261
Nope, never again.
That is a promise.

1121
00:51:55,265 --> 00:51:57,698
Wow. Uncle stone, I may not
agree with your politics

1122
00:51:57,700 --> 00:51:59,499
but that doesn't mean
I don't admire you.

1123
00:51:59,501 --> 00:52:00,867
Well, thank you, James.

1124
00:52:00,869 --> 00:52:03,236
But the man
you should admire the most

1125
00:52:03,238 --> 00:52:04,503
is sittin' right next to you.

1126
00:52:05,505 --> 00:52:07,405
But There's nobody there.

1127
00:52:07,407 --> 00:52:09,774
Oh, I don't mean that chair.
I mean your pa right here.

1128
00:52:09,776 --> 00:52:11,208
Okay.

1129
00:52:11,210 --> 00:52:12,375
He doesn't save anybody's life.

1130
00:52:12,377 --> 00:52:13,376
Oh, doesn't he?

1131
00:52:14,879 --> 00:52:16,178
Well, every time he flies
that little plane of his,

1132
00:52:16,180 --> 00:52:18,113
he's savin' lives
by not crashin'.

1133
00:52:18,115 --> 00:52:21,249
And in my book...
That makes him a hero.

1134
00:52:21,251 --> 00:52:22,917
Thank you.

1135
00:52:22,919 --> 00:52:24,385
You know,
a lot of people actually...

1136
00:52:24,387 --> 00:52:26,687
not to mention,
he also snagged himself

1137
00:52:26,689 --> 00:52:28,922
one sweet slice of foxy pie
in your mama there.

1138
00:52:28,924 --> 00:52:31,190
You gotta stop that today.

1139
00:52:31,192 --> 00:52:32,958
Stop it.

1140
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,227
You know what I always
wanted to know was...

1141
00:52:36,229 --> 00:52:39,463
When did you first know
the weather?

1142
00:52:39,465 --> 00:52:40,730
Well...

1143
00:52:40,732 --> 00:52:42,865
- You all right, Deb?
- What? What?

1144
00:52:42,867 --> 00:52:43,966
Hey! There's a cow!

1145
00:52:45,202 --> 00:52:47,302
Oh, not a cow. That's a steer.

1146
00:52:47,304 --> 00:52:51,272
That there is $6000 worth
of juicy, purebred Angus beef.

1147
00:52:52,642 --> 00:52:54,475
It's stone's new passion,
raising cattle.

1148
00:52:54,477 --> 00:52:56,076
He's even named them.

1149
00:52:56,078 --> 00:52:57,444
Uh-huh.

1150
00:52:57,446 --> 00:52:59,646
Old Sebastian here
loves him some ribs.

1151
00:52:59,648 --> 00:53:01,447
Here ya go, boy.

1152
00:53:01,449 --> 00:53:03,382
Here. Oh, that's it.

1153
00:53:05,552 --> 00:53:06,918
Dad, isn't that...

1154
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:08,753
Cannibalism? Yeah.

1155
00:53:08,755 --> 00:53:10,454
Say, if you boys
wanna get up early tomorrow,

1156
00:53:10,456 --> 00:53:12,756
you can watch me herd
these suckers into the corral.

1157
00:53:12,758 --> 00:53:14,758
- Oh.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

1158
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,326
You herd them yourself?

1159
00:53:16,328 --> 00:53:18,127
I'm a man, aren't I?

1160
00:53:18,129 --> 00:53:19,228
Yes.

1161
00:53:20,463 --> 00:53:22,130
Uh, hey, stone,

1162
00:53:22,132 --> 00:53:24,298
not sure if you need a hand
out there, but I'd love to help.

1163
00:53:24,300 --> 00:53:25,932
Yeah, sure thing, Russ,
if You're up for it.

1164
00:53:25,934 --> 00:53:27,733
I can always use
an extra set of hands.

1165
00:53:27,735 --> 00:53:31,403
Well, I was born
with an extra set of hands.

1166
00:53:31,405 --> 00:53:34,139
That's an odd thing to say.

1167
00:53:34,141 --> 00:53:35,406
But you know, I-I-I reckon

1168
00:53:35,408 --> 00:53:37,341
this'll be the highlight
of your trip.

1169
00:53:37,343 --> 00:53:38,975
Well, the real highlight,
of course,

1170
00:53:38,977 --> 00:53:41,110
will be when we get
to Walley world

1171
00:53:41,112 --> 00:53:45,013
and I take my family on
the velociraptor.

1172
00:53:45,015 --> 00:53:46,748
I think it is so weird.

1173
00:53:46,750 --> 00:53:49,016
I don't know why you want to go
back to Walley world

1174
00:53:49,018 --> 00:53:50,450
after dad flipped out there.

1175
00:53:50,452 --> 00:53:53,252
Audrey, dad flipped out
because he loved us

1176
00:53:53,254 --> 00:53:54,753
and wanted us to be close.

1177
00:53:54,755 --> 00:53:56,287
And we were.

1178
00:53:56,289 --> 00:53:58,422
And that's all I want
for my family.

1179
00:53:58,424 --> 00:54:01,091
You're such a clown.

1180
00:54:01,093 --> 00:54:02,592
You're a clown.

1181
00:54:02,594 --> 00:54:04,827
Babe, baby,
I-I think rusty's right.

1182
00:54:04,829 --> 00:54:09,331
You know, family is the most
important thing there is.

1183
00:54:09,333 --> 00:54:11,132
Little somethin'.

1184
00:54:13,936 --> 00:54:16,303
You know, maybe we'll take baby
Cooper on a trip this summer.

1185
00:54:16,305 --> 00:54:18,638
- Yeah, not to Walley world.
- Oh, God, no.

1186
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,840
- 'Cause that'd be stupid.
- That'd be stupid.

1187
00:54:20,842 --> 00:54:21,941
How 'bout Paris?

1188
00:54:21,943 --> 00:54:23,175
Oui!

1189
00:54:23,177 --> 00:54:24,943
Oui, oui, oui!

1190
00:54:24,945 --> 00:54:27,812
And then, when we get back,
I can maybe get a part-time job?

1191
00:54:27,814 --> 00:54:29,980
Well, not while There's
breath in my body, sweetheart.

1192
00:54:35,685 --> 00:54:36,984
You know, honey, I am...

1193
00:54:36,986 --> 00:54:38,318
I'm really happy
for your sister.

1194
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:39,619
- Yeah?
- Seriously.

1195
00:54:39,621 --> 00:54:41,220
She and stone seem
really in love.

1196
00:54:41,222 --> 00:54:42,521
It's nice.

1197
00:54:42,523 --> 00:54:44,022
These pants stone gave me

1198
00:54:44,024 --> 00:54:46,024
are really stretched out
in the crotch, though.

1199
00:54:46,026 --> 00:54:47,959
That's weird. Why Would they
be stretched out in the...

1200
00:54:47,961 --> 00:54:49,827
- God, I don't know.
- Oh, shit.

1201
00:54:49,829 --> 00:54:51,595
How much you think they paid
for this house?

1202
00:54:52,863 --> 00:54:53,963
Whoa.

1203
00:54:54,965 --> 00:54:56,131
Oh, okay.

1204
00:54:56,133 --> 00:54:57,665
Whoa. Oh!

1205
00:54:57,667 --> 00:54:59,333
Should I see if Audrey has
a yankee candle?

1206
00:54:59,335 --> 00:55:01,234
Fuck the yankee candle.
I wanna do this now.

1207
00:55:03,204 --> 00:55:05,137
- Oh, God, You're so sexy.
- Oh, what has gotten into you?

1208
00:55:05,139 --> 00:55:06,538
Oh, my God.

1209
00:55:06,540 --> 00:55:09,007
What? What, what, what?

1210
00:55:09,009 --> 00:55:11,476
This is because of him,
isn't it?

1211
00:55:11,478 --> 00:55:12,977
What? Who?

1212
00:55:12,979 --> 00:55:15,512
Because of who?

1213
00:55:15,514 --> 00:55:16,679
Because of stone.

1214
00:55:16,681 --> 00:55:17,880
What?!

1215
00:55:17,882 --> 00:55:19,248
That's why
You're jumping my bones!

1216
00:55:19,250 --> 00:55:20,315
You're just thinking of him!

1217
00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:22,451
That's ridiculous.

1218
00:55:22,453 --> 00:55:23,952
Then how come the one night
We're hangin' around with him,

1219
00:55:23,954 --> 00:55:25,920
you turn into some kind
of sexual character?

1220
00:55:25,922 --> 00:55:27,755
I don't know
where You're going with this,

1221
00:55:27,757 --> 00:55:29,656
but I can tell you right...
Where's your wedding ring?

1222
00:55:29,658 --> 00:55:31,357
Oh. Oh, my God.

1223
00:55:31,359 --> 00:55:33,625
Before we got here,
you took off your wedding ring?

1224
00:55:33,627 --> 00:55:35,660
No, I didn't.
Rusty, it was loose.

1225
00:55:35,662 --> 00:55:37,461
You remember how loose it was?

1226
00:55:37,463 --> 00:55:39,596
And... and I-I m-must've
just dropped it somewhere.

1227
00:55:39,598 --> 00:55:41,297
What was the plan, Deb?

1228
00:55:41,299 --> 00:55:42,765
Show up without a ring,
and he'll think You're single?

1229
00:55:42,767 --> 00:55:44,167
How's he gonna think
that I'm single

1230
00:55:44,168 --> 00:55:45,500
if I'm here with my husband
and my two children?

1231
00:55:45,502 --> 00:55:46,801
I don't know. It was your plan.

1232
00:55:46,803 --> 00:55:49,169
It was not my pl... okay.

1233
00:55:50,871 --> 00:55:52,004
Yes.

1234
00:55:52,006 --> 00:55:56,274
Stone is an impressive man,
okay?

1235
00:55:56,276 --> 00:55:58,142
But I married you, rusty.

1236
00:55:58,144 --> 00:56:00,477
And I am so sorry
that I lost my ring,

1237
00:56:00,479 --> 00:56:04,581
but I Would never, ever,
ever take it off on purpose.

1238
00:56:07,284 --> 00:56:08,450
I know. I know.

1239
00:56:08,452 --> 00:56:11,352
I just...

1240
00:56:11,354 --> 00:56:13,153
I freaked out. I'm sorry.

1241
00:56:13,155 --> 00:56:15,522
I just...

1242
00:56:15,524 --> 00:56:16,990
We'll get you another ring.

1243
00:56:16,992 --> 00:56:18,925
I liked that one.

1244
00:56:21,128 --> 00:56:23,027
Hey. Y'all decent?

1245
00:56:23,029 --> 00:56:24,061
- Yes. Hi.
- Hey.

1246
00:56:24,063 --> 00:56:25,629
Okay. Just wanted to make sure

1247
00:56:25,631 --> 00:56:29,065
y'all had everything you needed
for the night.

1248
00:56:29,067 --> 00:56:31,133
Yep.

1249
00:56:31,135 --> 00:56:33,168
All right.

1250
00:56:33,170 --> 00:56:36,638
Man, it sure is beautiful here
this time of year, ain't it?

1251
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:38,506
And quiet.

1252
00:56:38,508 --> 00:56:40,407
Listen.

1253
00:56:40,409 --> 00:56:42,642
You hear that?

1254
00:56:44,078 --> 00:56:45,510
- No.
- Exactly.

1255
00:56:45,512 --> 00:56:47,178
- It's perfect silence.
- Mm.

1256
00:56:47,180 --> 00:56:49,513
Ah. Yeah.

1257
00:56:49,515 --> 00:56:50,814
Yeah.

1258
00:56:50,816 --> 00:56:55,084
Well, uh, TV remote.
Okay, let me show ya.

1259
00:56:55,086 --> 00:56:58,987
We've got channels...
And the volume.

1260
00:56:58,989 --> 00:57:00,188
On. Off.

1261
00:57:00,190 --> 00:57:02,723
- Pretty straightforward.
- Yeah.

1262
00:57:02,725 --> 00:57:04,491
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

1263
00:57:04,493 --> 00:57:06,259
Okay. All right.

1264
00:57:06,261 --> 00:57:07,760
Well, uh, if you get thirsty,

1265
00:57:07,762 --> 00:57:10,195
There's, uh,
fresh milk in the fridge

1266
00:57:10,197 --> 00:57:13,431
and, uh, have yourselves
a good night.

1267
00:57:13,433 --> 00:57:15,666
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.

1268
00:57:15,668 --> 00:57:18,035
- Night, stone.
- Good night, st-stone.

1269
00:57:18,037 --> 00:57:21,104
Man.

1270
00:57:21,106 --> 00:57:23,072
Yeah.

1271
00:57:24,574 --> 00:57:27,508
Okay.

1272
00:57:29,110 --> 00:57:31,044
He totally just came in here

1273
00:57:31,046 --> 00:57:33,012
to show off his six-pack.

1274
00:57:36,684 --> 00:57:38,417
Hey, mornin'!

1275
00:57:38,419 --> 00:57:40,685
Barely.

1276
00:57:40,687 --> 00:57:42,586
How come you gotta do this
at 6 A.M.?

1277
00:57:42,588 --> 00:57:44,788
Well, I gotta be
at the station by 7:30

1278
00:57:44,790 --> 00:57:48,091
for stone Crandall's
accuweather report.

1279
00:57:48,093 --> 00:57:50,726
Hey, you ever ride
one of these things?

1280
00:57:50,728 --> 00:57:52,627
Mm, no. Never have.

1281
00:57:52,629 --> 00:57:54,929
But, uh, Can't imagine

1282
00:57:54,931 --> 00:57:57,531
it's more complicated
than an airbus a318.

1283
00:57:57,533 --> 00:58:00,433
Yeah, well, that's the spirit.

1284
00:58:00,435 --> 00:58:01,967
Now, the key here

1285
00:58:01,969 --> 00:58:03,768
is to move back and forth
along the edge of the herd.

1286
00:58:03,770 --> 00:58:06,303
You keep your distance, though.
We don't want to spook 'em.

1287
00:58:06,305 --> 00:58:08,471
Got it.

1288
00:58:11,075 --> 00:58:12,407
Are there helmets?

1289
00:58:12,409 --> 00:58:15,109
Yeah, I keep them
with the tampons.

1290
00:58:15,111 --> 00:58:17,911
Just basic safety.

1291
00:58:17,913 --> 00:58:20,146
Aah! Whoa!

1292
00:58:24,418 --> 00:58:26,050
This is exciting!

1293
00:58:26,052 --> 00:58:29,319
It's my favorite way
to start the day!

1294
00:58:29,321 --> 00:58:31,054
This, and makin' love
to your sister.

1295
00:58:31,056 --> 00:58:32,989
Thank you for that.

1296
00:58:36,494 --> 00:58:39,761
Come on, let's go!

1297
00:58:39,763 --> 00:58:42,130
Well, it looks like
we got us a couple of mavericks.

1298
00:58:42,132 --> 00:58:45,266
You take the one on the left.
I'll take the one on the right.

1299
00:58:45,268 --> 00:58:47,134
Unless you need my help
with yours.

1300
00:58:47,136 --> 00:58:48,768
No, I think I got it.

1301
00:58:48,770 --> 00:58:50,936
Last one to the corral's
a rotten cowpoke!

1302
00:58:50,938 --> 00:58:52,837
Yee-hoo-hoo!

1303
00:58:52,839 --> 00:58:55,372
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

1304
00:58:56,941 --> 00:58:58,441
Go on over there!

1305
00:58:58,443 --> 00:59:00,776
Go! Get up! Get up! Get up!
Let's go!

1306
00:59:02,279 --> 00:59:03,811
Whoa!

1307
00:59:03,813 --> 00:59:05,913
Oh!

1308
00:59:10,750 --> 00:59:12,117
Hi!

1309
00:59:13,854 --> 00:59:14,819
Holy shit!

1310
00:59:16,489 --> 00:59:17,588
Oh, my gosh!

1311
00:59:24,528 --> 00:59:26,428
Is the cow okay?

1312
00:59:26,430 --> 00:59:28,711
No, the cow's not okay, Russ.
You drove plumb through him.

1313
00:59:29,799 --> 00:59:31,497
Oh, no, Sebastian.

1314
00:59:33,633 --> 00:59:35,266
Gross.

1315
00:59:49,113 --> 00:59:53,682
Hey, gang. Uh, maybe for lunch,
we could find a burger place.

1316
00:59:53,684 --> 00:59:56,217
You know, like a, uh...

1317
00:59:56,219 --> 00:59:58,852
Like a drive-through
burger place.

1318
01:00:00,522 --> 01:00:02,154
I don't know, dad.

1319
01:00:02,156 --> 01:00:05,557
I think we should, uh,
<i>steer</i> clear of that.

1320
01:00:05,559 --> 01:00:08,459
- Good one, James.
- All right, enough, you guys.

1321
01:00:08,461 --> 01:00:11,962
Dad hit a cow, okay?
Let's just moo-ve on.

1322
01:00:13,565 --> 01:00:15,498
- Oh, I got one.
- Yeah? Let's hear it.

1323
01:00:15,500 --> 01:00:18,067
- James is a piece of shit.
- Oh.

1324
01:00:18,069 --> 01:00:20,235
You kinda missed
the point, there, buddy.

1325
01:00:45,023 --> 01:00:48,357
But you can get back home,
you can get back down

1326
01:00:57,331 --> 01:00:59,030
hey. Hey.

1327
01:00:59,032 --> 01:01:00,398
What? What is it? What's wrong?

1328
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:01,999
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1329
01:01:02,001 --> 01:01:03,233
No, no, no. No. No, nothing's wrong.
Nothing's wrong.

1330
01:01:03,235 --> 01:01:04,234
Okay. Well, what?

1331
01:01:04,236 --> 01:01:05,868
- I have an idea.
- Mm-hmm.

1332
01:01:05,870 --> 01:01:08,737
And it's gonna sound crazy,
but hear me out, okay?

1333
01:01:08,739 --> 01:01:11,206
- Mm-kay.
- Okay.

1334
01:01:11,208 --> 01:01:13,541
We're right near
the four corners monument...

1335
01:01:13,543 --> 01:01:15,042
Mm-hmm.

1336
01:01:15,044 --> 01:01:16,710
Which is where four states
come together in one spot.

1337
01:01:16,712 --> 01:01:19,412
- So?
- Let's go have sex on it.

1338
01:01:19,414 --> 01:01:21,213
What?

1339
01:01:22,416 --> 01:01:23,948
Yeah, that way we can make love

1340
01:01:23,950 --> 01:01:26,050
in four states
at the same time.

1341
01:01:26,052 --> 01:01:29,686
Wait. You're serious?

1342
01:01:29,688 --> 01:01:31,220
Well, yeah.

1343
01:01:31,222 --> 01:01:33,088
I mean, You're the one who said
we should mix it up.

1344
01:01:33,090 --> 01:01:35,924
Yeah. What's more mixed up
than sex on a public monument?

1345
01:01:37,427 --> 01:01:39,494
I'm pretty sure
Debbie do-anything Would do it.

1346
01:01:39,496 --> 01:01:41,829
Okay, well, Debbie do-anything
was a dumb-ass, so...

1347
01:01:41,831 --> 01:01:47,033
Maybe that's what we need.
To be dumbasses together.

1348
01:01:47,035 --> 01:01:49,301
What about the kids?

1349
01:01:49,303 --> 01:01:51,202
Well,
Kevin's kind of a dumb-ass.

1350
01:01:51,204 --> 01:01:54,738
No, no, honey.
What are we gonna do about them?

1351
01:01:54,740 --> 01:01:57,240
They're fine.
They're fast asleep.

1352
01:01:57,242 --> 01:02:00,309
We'll be back
before they know We're gone.

1353
01:02:00,311 --> 01:02:01,476
Okay.

1354
01:02:01,478 --> 01:02:03,311
- Yeah?
- All right, let's do it.

1355
01:02:19,727 --> 01:02:20,926
Mom?

1356
01:02:21,827 --> 01:02:23,561
Dad?

1357
01:02:28,399 --> 01:02:30,265
- James?
- Mom?

1358
01:02:31,867 --> 01:02:33,267
Adena?

1359
01:02:33,269 --> 01:02:35,202
Are you, like,
stalking me or something?

1360
01:02:35,204 --> 01:02:37,437
No. What? No.

1361
01:02:37,439 --> 01:02:40,673
I'm kidding. Relax.

1362
01:02:43,410 --> 01:02:45,510
Hey, what happened
with that perv

1363
01:02:45,512 --> 01:02:48,012
who was hitting on you
in Arkansas?

1364
01:02:49,114 --> 01:02:51,748
That was actually my dad.

1365
01:02:51,750 --> 01:02:54,083
He was trying to be my wingman.

1366
01:02:54,085 --> 01:02:57,252
Oh, my God.

1367
01:02:57,254 --> 01:03:00,355
He's a really shitty wingman.

1368
01:03:02,726 --> 01:03:05,727
So, no guitar tonight?

1369
01:03:05,729 --> 01:03:07,929
It got stolen.

1370
01:03:07,931 --> 01:03:10,398
That sucks.

1371
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:11,866
I really liked
hearing you play.

1372
01:03:11,868 --> 01:03:14,802
You... you did?

1373
01:03:14,804 --> 01:03:17,604
Yeah, I've always
had a thing for musicians.

1374
01:03:20,107 --> 01:03:22,408
Well, good...

1375
01:03:22,410 --> 01:03:26,044
Because I've always
had a thing for...

1376
01:03:26,046 --> 01:03:28,345
Pretty girls.

1377
01:03:30,581 --> 01:03:32,048
Well played.

1378
01:03:34,052 --> 01:03:36,452
See? You don't need a wingman.

1379
01:03:44,794 --> 01:03:46,261
Here it is.

1380
01:03:46,263 --> 01:03:47,629
Oh, my God.

1381
01:03:47,631 --> 01:03:48,830
This is so illegal.

1382
01:03:48,832 --> 01:03:50,665
I know. It's so hot, right?

1383
01:03:50,667 --> 01:03:53,067
Yeah.
I am hard as a faucet right now.

1384
01:03:54,070 --> 01:03:55,069
Oh!

1385
01:03:55,071 --> 01:03:56,470
I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1386
01:03:56,472 --> 01:03:57,637
No. I like it.

1387
01:03:57,639 --> 01:03:58,638
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

1388
01:03:58,640 --> 01:03:59,839
- Yeah?
- I do.

1389
01:03:59,841 --> 01:04:00,940
You like it
when I slap that ass?

1390
01:04:00,942 --> 01:04:02,741
I do! I do!

1391
01:04:02,743 --> 01:04:04,642
Good, 'cause I'm gonna beat
the shit out of your ass.

1392
01:04:04,644 --> 01:04:06,443
Whoa! Russ!

1393
01:04:06,445 --> 01:04:08,645
Okay, right here?

1394
01:04:13,183 --> 01:04:14,449
We're about
to have sex outside!

1395
01:04:14,451 --> 01:04:16,150
I know. I know.

1396
01:04:16,152 --> 01:04:17,784
Do you want me
to put a finger in?

1397
01:04:17,786 --> 01:04:19,018
In what?

1398
01:04:19,020 --> 01:04:20,152
- Never mind. Never mind.
- Okay, okay.

1399
01:04:20,154 --> 01:04:21,520
Y'all wanna keep it down?

1400
01:04:21,522 --> 01:04:23,121
- Aah!
- Yeah! Yeah!

1401
01:04:23,123 --> 01:04:24,789
Hey, watch it, man!

1402
01:04:24,791 --> 01:04:27,424
- Get your leg off of me!
- You're so slippery and sweaty!

1403
01:04:27,426 --> 01:04:29,626
If y'all are here to have sex
on the corners, We're next.

1404
01:04:29,628 --> 01:04:30,627
Get in line.

1405
01:04:30,629 --> 01:04:32,295
- Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, God.

1406
01:04:32,297 --> 01:04:34,263
Oh, God.

1407
01:04:34,265 --> 01:04:35,931
- Aah!
- Oh!

1408
01:04:35,933 --> 01:04:38,333
- Oh, God!
- Ew!

1409
01:04:38,335 --> 01:04:40,835
Oh, God!
They're in every state!

1410
01:04:40,837 --> 01:04:42,436
So many boobies out here!

1411
01:04:42,438 --> 01:04:43,703
You two! Freeze!

1412
01:04:43,705 --> 01:04:45,538
Go, go, go, go, go!

1413
01:04:45,540 --> 01:04:46,605
Hands up!

1414
01:04:46,607 --> 01:04:48,707
Run! Honey, run!

1415
01:04:48,709 --> 01:04:50,041
Drop the flashlight!

1416
01:04:51,044 --> 01:04:53,010
You do know public indecency

1417
01:04:53,012 --> 01:04:55,178
is a crime in the state of Utah?

1418
01:04:55,180 --> 01:04:56,612
Yes. Sorry, officer.

1419
01:04:56,614 --> 01:04:58,180
See, We're married,
and we wanted to just...

1420
01:04:58,182 --> 01:04:59,614
you know what?
Save it for the judge.

1421
01:04:59,616 --> 01:05:01,682
It makes me sick
how you deviants show up

1422
01:05:01,684 --> 01:05:04,051
and desecrate this holy place
every night.

1423
01:05:04,053 --> 01:05:05,886
Turn around!
Hands behind your back.

1424
01:05:05,888 --> 01:05:06,887
What?

1425
01:05:06,889 --> 01:05:08,655
Not so fast, Tommy!

1426
01:05:08,657 --> 01:05:09,956
Shoot for sherbet!

1427
01:05:09,958 --> 01:05:11,390
What are you doin' here, Kyle?

1428
01:05:11,392 --> 01:05:13,458
These people are clearly
in the state of Colorado.

1429
01:05:13,460 --> 01:05:14,959
That's my jurisdiction.

1430
01:05:14,961 --> 01:05:16,794
Juris-dick in my ass, Kyle.

1431
01:05:16,796 --> 01:05:19,797
Look at her left foot.
Smack-dab in Arizona.

1432
01:05:19,799 --> 01:05:22,733
You weed-legalizing,
mile-high piece of shit.

1433
01:05:22,735 --> 01:05:24,401
Hey, There's no reason
for that language.

1434
01:05:24,403 --> 01:05:26,002
Oh, I'm sorry, officer mormon.

1435
01:05:26,004 --> 01:05:27,870
You don't like that?
I have an idea.

1436
01:05:27,872 --> 01:05:30,138
Why don't you plug up your ears
with Mitt Romney's dick?

1437
01:05:30,140 --> 01:05:31,239
Hey!

1438
01:05:31,241 --> 01:05:33,541
Oh, looks like new Mexico

1439
01:05:33,543 --> 01:05:35,342
decided to wake up
from his siesta.

1440
01:05:35,344 --> 01:05:36,743
What seems to be the trouble?

1441
01:05:36,745 --> 01:05:38,344
Tell you what the trouble is,
dreamcatcher.

1442
01:05:38,346 --> 01:05:40,679
You are wearing entirely
too much goddamn turquoise.

1443
01:05:40,681 --> 01:05:42,047
Hey, we can do this

1444
01:05:42,049 --> 01:05:43,481
without disrespecting
each other's traditions.

1445
01:05:43,483 --> 01:05:46,016
Oh, go fuck your wives, Tommy.

1446
01:05:46,018 --> 01:05:47,517
See, this is what
I'm telling you guys.

1447
01:05:47,519 --> 01:05:48,818
Every night we do this.

1448
01:05:48,820 --> 01:05:50,586
You know what
this border represents?

1449
01:05:50,588 --> 01:05:52,688
It's just an idea.
That's all I'm saying.

1450
01:05:52,690 --> 01:05:53,922
All right, well,
if it's just an idea,

1451
01:05:53,924 --> 01:05:54,989
then I'll just get the perp...

1452
01:05:54,991 --> 01:05:56,390
- my house!
- Oh!

1453
01:05:56,392 --> 01:05:57,891
- Hey!
- Stay out of my state, buddy.

1454
01:05:57,893 --> 01:05:59,559
Oh, yeah?
What are you gonna do now?

1455
01:05:59,561 --> 01:06:00,693
- Get your feet off of my state!
- Hey, come on, now.

1456
01:06:00,695 --> 01:06:02,194
You wanna stomp on my foot?

1457
01:06:02,196 --> 01:06:03,695
- You back... you back...
- Is that what you want?

1458
01:06:03,697 --> 01:06:05,063
- Stay out of this.
- Hey, I wasn't even in it!

1459
01:06:05,065 --> 01:06:06,764
Whoa! Don't you kick in here!

1460
01:06:06,766 --> 01:06:08,198
- Don't start...
- You wanna do that again?

1461
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:09,265
How about this, then? Huh? Huh?

1462
01:06:09,267 --> 01:06:10,733
- Oh!
- Oh, we got a live wire!

1463
01:06:10,735 --> 01:06:12,935
- Oh, shit! Aw, shit!
- We got a live weapon!

1464
01:06:12,937 --> 01:06:14,336
Ooh. Ooh. You think I'm
afraid of that shit?

1465
01:06:14,338 --> 01:06:16,037
I'm not afraid of you!

1466
01:06:16,039 --> 01:06:18,072
- How about that, huh? Huh?
- Oh, yeah, like I'm afraid?

1467
01:06:18,074 --> 01:06:19,754
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

1468
01:06:20,909 --> 01:06:22,708
Are we gonna...
I don't want it in my mouth.

1469
01:06:22,710 --> 01:06:23,775
Let's not do that, okay?

1470
01:06:23,777 --> 01:06:25,777
I'll take that all in, dude!

1471
01:06:25,779 --> 01:06:27,545
- That's enough! Everyone get down!
- Get down on the ground!

1472
01:06:27,547 --> 01:06:29,113
Everyone down on the ground!
Get down!

1473
01:06:29,115 --> 01:06:30,547
- Get down on the ground!
- You get down!

1474
01:06:30,549 --> 01:06:31,681
- Get down!
- I'm cooperating!

1475
01:06:31,683 --> 01:06:33,215
I'm the one who's cooperating!

1476
01:06:33,217 --> 01:06:34,749
You get down, too.
You get down, too.

1477
01:06:34,751 --> 01:06:36,183
Get down on the ground!

1478
01:06:36,185 --> 01:06:37,884
- Hands where?
- Hands on your right side!

1479
01:06:37,886 --> 01:06:39,385
- By the sides or in front?
- Side to side. Side to side.

1480
01:06:39,387 --> 01:06:41,086
- Let's do this.
- Everyone down?

1481
01:06:41,088 --> 01:06:43,288
Okay. I think I'm done.

1482
01:06:48,260 --> 01:06:51,627
You can really see
all the stars out here.

1483
01:06:51,629 --> 01:06:53,128
Yeah.

1484
01:06:55,197 --> 01:06:58,098
So...
What do you feel like doing?

1485
01:06:58,100 --> 01:07:01,267
I don't know.

1486
01:07:05,805 --> 01:07:08,139
Ca...

1487
01:07:08,141 --> 01:07:10,307
can I give you a rim job?

1488
01:07:12,576 --> 01:07:13,809
- Whoa!
- No.

1489
01:07:13,811 --> 01:07:16,278
Uh, what?!

1490
01:07:16,280 --> 01:07:17,812
- I don't know.
- What's wrong with you?

1491
01:07:17,814 --> 01:07:19,380
I don't know. I'm sorry.

1492
01:07:19,382 --> 01:07:21,315
What did...
what did you wanna do?

1493
01:07:21,317 --> 01:07:22,783
I don't know.

1494
01:07:22,785 --> 01:07:26,153
I thought maybe we could
kiss or something?

1495
01:07:26,155 --> 01:07:28,455
Well, yeah,
that's what I thought I...

1496
01:07:28,457 --> 01:07:30,390
Yeah. Okay.

1497
01:07:34,427 --> 01:07:36,060
Ow!

1498
01:07:36,062 --> 01:07:37,728
Where's mom and dad, dork?

1499
01:07:37,730 --> 01:07:39,830
I don't know, Kevin.
Just go back inside the thing.

1500
01:07:39,832 --> 01:07:42,065
You were about to let
that dingus kiss you?

1501
01:07:42,067 --> 01:07:43,933
Shut up, Kevin.

1502
01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:46,669
- Who is that?
- My stupid little brother.

1503
01:07:46,671 --> 01:07:49,138
I thought you said
he was your big brother.

1504
01:07:49,140 --> 01:07:50,172
I... damn it!

1505
01:07:50,174 --> 01:07:51,473
Dingus.

1506
01:07:51,475 --> 01:07:53,174
Why do you take that from him?

1507
01:07:53,176 --> 01:07:54,775
What am I supposed to do,
hit him back?

1508
01:07:54,777 --> 01:07:56,810
- He's a little kid.
- He's a little shit.

1509
01:07:56,812 --> 01:07:58,311
You don't have to let him
push you around.

1510
01:07:58,313 --> 01:08:01,681
I kinda thought I was taking
the high road.

1511
01:08:01,683 --> 01:08:04,683
Yeah, that seems
to be working out for you.

1512
01:08:06,419 --> 01:08:07,285
You know what?

1513
01:08:10,522 --> 01:08:12,489
Fuck it.

1514
01:08:13,524 --> 01:08:16,025
Okay, so you wanna do this now?

1515
01:08:16,027 --> 01:08:18,060
Bring it, bitch.

1516
01:08:19,195 --> 01:08:20,995
Wait, what?!

1517
01:08:20,997 --> 01:08:22,263
No, no, no.

1518
01:08:23,266 --> 01:08:24,632
Wow. This is so easy.

1519
01:08:24,634 --> 01:08:26,867
You are such a little boy.

1520
01:08:28,536 --> 01:08:30,103
There's gonna be a few changes,
Kevin, all right?

1521
01:08:30,105 --> 01:08:31,204
No more bullying.

1522
01:08:31,206 --> 01:08:33,039
Stop it! I'm telling mom.

1523
01:08:33,041 --> 01:08:35,041
Shut your mouth.
You gonna stop bullying?

1524
01:08:35,043 --> 01:08:36,776
You're hurting my tummy!

1525
01:08:36,778 --> 01:08:40,246
Say You're gonna stop,
you little piece of... Ass.

1526
01:08:40,248 --> 01:08:42,481
Wait, what? "Piece of ass"?

1527
01:08:42,483 --> 01:08:43,882
You know what I mean, okay?

1528
01:08:43,884 --> 01:08:46,217
What... what are you doing
to my face?

1529
01:08:46,219 --> 01:08:47,818
- This hurts, doesn't it?
- Dude!

1530
01:08:47,820 --> 01:08:49,753
How do you like your ears
gettin' messed up with?

1531
01:08:49,755 --> 01:08:51,321
It's really not that bad.

1532
01:08:51,323 --> 01:08:52,922
I'mma tap you
right on the forehead.

1533
01:08:52,924 --> 01:08:54,757
That's not even
how you beat someone up!

1534
01:08:54,759 --> 01:08:56,258
Very dehumanizing.

1535
01:08:56,260 --> 01:08:58,260
Your forehead's
gonna be so sore.

1536
01:08:58,262 --> 01:09:00,428
- Blblbl! Blblbl!
- Stop it! What are you doing?!

1537
01:09:00,430 --> 01:09:02,229
How do you like your lips
getting tickled?

1538
01:09:02,231 --> 01:09:03,830
This is really weird.

1539
01:09:03,832 --> 01:09:05,765
Just smush your cheeks.

1540
01:09:05,767 --> 01:09:08,300
- You gonna stop bullying?
- Fine. I'll stop bullying.

1541
01:09:08,302 --> 01:09:09,768
Just stop doing this.

1542
01:09:12,005 --> 01:09:13,304
Thank you, Adena.

1543
01:09:13,306 --> 01:09:14,905
This has been...

1544
01:09:14,907 --> 01:09:16,506
The best night of my life.

1545
01:09:22,246 --> 01:09:24,478
Weird fucking family.

1546
01:09:26,414 --> 01:09:28,715
Well, that was awful.

1547
01:09:31,085 --> 01:09:33,853
At least the kids never woke up.

1548
01:09:42,695 --> 01:09:44,928
Uh, passengers on
the left side of the prancer

1549
01:09:44,930 --> 01:09:48,131
will notice the grand canyon
out the window.

1550
01:09:48,133 --> 01:09:51,534
That's right.
Last stop before Walley world.

1551
01:10:02,878 --> 01:10:04,644
So, guys,

1552
01:10:04,646 --> 01:10:07,713
when we visited the grand canyon
when I was a kid,

1553
01:10:07,715 --> 01:10:09,715
we barely had a chance
to look at it.

1554
01:10:09,717 --> 01:10:11,983
This time...

1555
01:10:11,985 --> 01:10:14,485
We're gonna do
a whole lot more than look.

1556
01:10:14,487 --> 01:10:18,121
- Oh, cool.
- Sweet!

1557
01:10:21,558 --> 01:10:23,191
Hi, folks!

1558
01:10:23,193 --> 01:10:24,792
Hi!

1559
01:10:24,794 --> 01:10:26,827
All right, let's see,
who do we got here?

1560
01:10:26,829 --> 01:10:30,229
You must be the Fung family!

1561
01:10:30,231 --> 01:10:31,296
Huh?

1562
01:10:32,531 --> 01:10:33,531
I'm just messing!

1563
01:10:33,533 --> 01:10:34,732
You're the griswolds, right?

1564
01:10:34,734 --> 01:10:36,233
Yes, that's right.

1565
01:10:36,235 --> 01:10:37,801
Right.

1566
01:10:37,803 --> 01:10:40,236
The little guy's face was like,
"fungs? Huh?!"

1567
01:10:42,139 --> 01:10:44,539
Anyway, I'm Chad.
I'm gonna be your guide.

1568
01:10:44,541 --> 01:10:46,040
- Okay. Hi, Chad.
- All right.

1569
01:10:46,042 --> 01:10:48,075
Well you couldn't have come
on a better day.

1570
01:10:48,077 --> 01:10:49,543
I'm gonna get you all geared up.

1571
01:10:49,545 --> 01:10:51,578
And, guess what,
the river's running way high,

1572
01:10:51,580 --> 01:10:53,846
so I think We're in for
a pretty sweet ride, guys.

1573
01:10:53,848 --> 01:10:55,681
- Let's roll.
- All right.

1574
01:10:55,683 --> 01:10:57,315
Let's do this.

1575
01:10:57,317 --> 01:10:59,183
Okay, gang, joke time is over.

1576
01:10:59,185 --> 01:11:00,417
All right,
let's get serious for a second.

1577
01:11:00,419 --> 01:11:01,851
Let's go over a couple
safety procedures

1578
01:11:01,853 --> 01:11:03,319
before we hit the water.

1579
01:11:03,321 --> 01:11:05,154
First off...
do any of you know this river?

1580
01:11:05,156 --> 01:11:06,888
'Cause this is actually
my first time.

1581
01:11:08,757 --> 01:11:09,757
I'm kidding.

1582
01:11:11,327 --> 01:11:13,260
Been doing this
about three and a half years.

1583
01:11:13,262 --> 01:11:14,928
Know the river inside and out,
okay?

1584
01:11:14,930 --> 01:11:17,397
Uh, got my guide certificate
from a cracker Jack box.

1585
01:11:18,767 --> 01:11:20,533
That's a joke.
Guys, it's a joke.

1586
01:11:20,535 --> 01:11:22,935
See the little kid's face?
He's all, "a cracker Jack box?"

1587
01:11:22,937 --> 01:11:25,737
A what?!"

1588
01:11:25,739 --> 01:11:27,605
All you gotta do is follow
my instructions out there.

1589
01:11:27,607 --> 01:11:30,006
And we got a 50-50 chance
of coming back alive.

1590
01:11:31,575 --> 01:11:33,208
I'm kidding, guys.

1591
01:11:33,210 --> 01:11:34,709
See the little kid's face,
he's all,

1592
01:11:34,711 --> 01:11:37,445
"I'm coming back alive!
I don't wanna die!"

1593
01:11:38,748 --> 01:11:40,547
Uh, sorry, hang on a second.

1594
01:11:40,549 --> 01:11:41,948
I-I'm getting a call
from my fianc�e here.

1595
01:11:41,950 --> 01:11:43,582
Actually, just got engaged
two weeks ago,

1596
01:11:43,584 --> 01:11:45,250
so I think I'm gonna take this

1597
01:11:45,252 --> 01:11:47,118
or the river's not gonna be
the only hot water I'm in today.

1598
01:11:47,120 --> 01:11:50,587
River's actually very cold.

1599
01:11:50,589 --> 01:11:51,688
Hey, boo.

1600
01:11:52,623 --> 01:11:53,623
Wow.

1601
01:11:53,625 --> 01:11:54,590
This is awesome.

1602
01:11:54,592 --> 01:11:56,091
We're about to set sail

1603
01:11:56,093 --> 01:11:58,693
through one of America's
greatest aquatic treasures.

1604
01:11:58,695 --> 01:12:00,995
- Kevin, don't hit your brother.
- I didn't.

1605
01:12:02,297 --> 01:12:03,630
You heard what he said about

1606
01:12:03,632 --> 01:12:05,365
the aquatic treasures
and everything, right?

1607
01:12:05,367 --> 01:12:07,700
- Yeah.
- And you didn't wanna hit him?

1608
01:12:09,769 --> 01:12:11,636
- Hmm, well, that's progress.
- Wow.

1609
01:12:11,638 --> 01:12:15,405
I don't understand, though.
Like, what are you even saying?

1610
01:12:15,407 --> 01:12:16,906
But j-just like that?!

1611
01:12:16,908 --> 01:12:19,408
I-I love you! You love me!

1612
01:12:19,410 --> 01:12:20,976
Tanya, please!

1613
01:12:20,978 --> 01:12:22,877
Please, just let's think
about this for a second, honey.

1614
01:12:22,879 --> 01:12:24,078
You're all that I have
in this world!

1615
01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:27,381
Tanya, no, babe. No, Tanya! No!

1616
01:12:27,383 --> 01:12:30,016
Please don't hang up!
No! No! Goddamn it!

1617
01:12:50,300 --> 01:12:52,334
Who's ready to go on the river?

1618
01:12:52,336 --> 01:12:55,270
Um, are you okay, Chad?

1619
01:12:55,272 --> 01:12:57,005
Oh, yeah!

1620
01:12:57,007 --> 01:12:59,307
Turns out,
I'm not engaged anymore.

1621
01:12:59,309 --> 01:13:00,675
So...

1622
01:13:02,411 --> 01:13:04,145
All aboard.

1623
01:13:05,413 --> 01:13:06,913
I don't know about this, Russ.

1624
01:13:06,915 --> 01:13:10,516
Oh, come on. He's kidding.

1625
01:14:51,267 --> 01:14:52,599
What?

1626
01:14:52,601 --> 01:14:54,701
We're a day away
from Walley world.

1627
01:14:54,703 --> 01:14:57,603
Dad, I don't think any of us
really care about Walley world.

1628
01:14:57,605 --> 01:14:58,904
The boys are right, Russ.

1629
01:14:58,906 --> 01:15:00,772
I mean,
we almost died back there.

1630
01:15:00,774 --> 01:15:03,207
I mean, isn't it time
that we just cut our losses?

1631
01:15:03,209 --> 01:15:06,443
I cannot believe
what I'm hearing.

1632
01:15:06,445 --> 01:15:08,344
I... oh. Oh, my God!

1633
01:15:09,447 --> 01:15:10,712
Huh? All right.

1634
01:15:10,714 --> 01:15:12,046
That has to be a sign, right?

1635
01:15:12,048 --> 01:15:13,747
We were meant
to finish this trip.

1636
01:15:13,749 --> 01:15:16,216
Come on, guys,
everybody sing it with me.

1637
01:15:24,191 --> 01:15:25,523
- We're losing the station, Russ.
- We're not losing anything.

1638
01:15:25,525 --> 01:15:26,891
Yes, we are, just...

1639
01:15:26,893 --> 01:15:28,726
we just have to listen
a little harder!

1640
01:15:32,531 --> 01:15:33,530
Okay, no, no, no.

1641
01:15:33,532 --> 01:15:34,464
It's gone. It's gone.

1642
01:15:34,466 --> 01:15:35,932
- Just let it go!
- Fine!

1643
01:15:35,934 --> 01:15:38,267
Just thought
we could all sing seal together

1644
01:15:38,269 --> 01:15:39,534
like normal families do.

1645
01:15:39,536 --> 01:15:41,636
Ah, crap!

1646
01:15:41,638 --> 01:15:42,703
Now what?

1647
01:15:42,705 --> 01:15:43,770
We're almost out of gas.

1648
01:15:43,772 --> 01:15:46,039
Oh, my God.

1649
01:15:46,041 --> 01:15:47,707
It's all right.

1650
01:15:47,709 --> 01:15:49,975
I'm sure we will find
a place to fill up around here

1651
01:15:49,977 --> 01:15:51,209
before we run out.

1652
01:15:52,678 --> 01:15:56,880
Ugh. Man. No signal at all.

1653
01:15:58,550 --> 01:16:00,683
Wonder if the prancer
has roadside assistance.

1654
01:16:00,685 --> 01:16:03,719
How Would we even call them?

1655
01:16:03,721 --> 01:16:05,187
Maybe it's one of the buttons
on the fob.

1656
01:16:05,189 --> 01:16:07,222
Seriously? You're gonna keep
pressing buttons?

1657
01:16:07,224 --> 01:16:09,023
Well,
we never tried the top hat.

1658
01:16:09,025 --> 01:16:10,391
Oh, geez.

1659
01:16:11,394 --> 01:16:12,559
Oh, my God!

1660
01:16:14,194 --> 01:16:15,755
Well, now we know
what the top hat does.

1661
01:16:17,097 --> 01:16:18,763
I'm not gonna do the swastika.

1662
01:16:18,765 --> 01:16:21,499
All that's left is the muffin.

1663
01:16:23,269 --> 01:16:24,601
Come on, muffin.

1664
01:16:27,338 --> 01:16:28,503
- What?
- It started!

1665
01:16:28,505 --> 01:16:30,004
- Yes!
- All right!

1666
01:16:30,006 --> 01:16:32,573
Oh! Must be the extra gas tank.

1667
01:16:32,575 --> 01:16:33,840
- Right?
- Oh! The muffin!

1668
01:16:33,842 --> 01:16:35,675
Dad to the rescue!

1669
01:16:35,677 --> 01:16:37,343
- Thank God.
- Wait, Where's it going?

1670
01:16:37,345 --> 01:16:38,677
Wait! Wait a minute!

1671
01:16:38,679 --> 01:16:40,612
Make it... make it stop!

1672
01:16:40,614 --> 01:16:43,014
I don't know how!
I'll hit the muffin again!

1673
01:17:03,467 --> 01:17:04,900
All right. We can handle this.

1674
01:17:04,902 --> 01:17:06,935
Oh, no, no, no.
Please don't say that.

1675
01:17:06,937 --> 01:17:09,737
Do not say that we can
handle this, Russ.

1676
01:17:09,739 --> 01:17:10,938
- Okay?
- We can.

1677
01:17:10,940 --> 01:17:13,040
No, we Can't! We Can't!

1678
01:17:13,042 --> 01:17:15,642
From the moment we left
for this trip,

1679
01:17:15,644 --> 01:17:17,110
nothing has gone right.

1680
01:17:17,112 --> 01:17:19,545
Can you please just admit
that this was a mistake?

1681
01:17:21,214 --> 01:17:22,914
But it wasn't. Right?

1682
01:17:22,916 --> 01:17:23,948
We all wanted to go.

1683
01:17:23,950 --> 01:17:25,049
- I didn't.
- Me neither.

1684
01:17:25,051 --> 01:17:26,316
No. Me neither.

1685
01:17:26,318 --> 01:17:27,450
<i>You</i> wanted to go.

1686
01:17:27,452 --> 01:17:28,818
All right, I think tempers

1687
01:17:28,820 --> 01:17:30,553
are getting a little hot
right now.

1688
01:17:30,555 --> 01:17:31,687
We just have to, uh...

1689
01:17:32,755 --> 01:17:34,856
We just all have to...

1690
01:17:37,293 --> 01:17:38,892
Fuck me!

1691
01:17:38,894 --> 01:17:40,293
I give up!

1692
01:17:40,295 --> 01:17:41,994
All I wanted to do
was take my fuckin' family

1693
01:17:41,996 --> 01:17:43,795
on a fuckin' trip
to Walley world

1694
01:17:43,797 --> 01:17:45,630
and ride
the fucking velociraptor!

1695
01:17:45,632 --> 01:17:48,798
Ow! There's a rock in that.

1696
01:17:50,734 --> 01:17:52,267
I guess I'm the asshole

1697
01:17:52,269 --> 01:17:54,102
for trying to bring my family
closer together, right?

1698
01:17:54,104 --> 01:17:55,336
What do I get?

1699
01:17:55,338 --> 01:17:56,570
Kids who don't
wanna be with me,

1700
01:17:56,572 --> 01:17:57,737
and a wife who's miserable.

1701
01:17:57,739 --> 01:17:59,472
- Russ.
- Oh, come on, Debbie.

1702
01:17:59,474 --> 01:18:01,674
You know it's true.
You think you settled for me.

1703
01:18:01,676 --> 01:18:03,976
You think I'm a loser
regional pilot.

1704
01:18:03,978 --> 01:18:05,510
Well, guess what?

1705
01:18:05,512 --> 01:18:08,279
I get offers from international
carriers all the time,

1706
01:18:08,281 --> 01:18:09,446
and I turn them down.

1707
01:18:09,448 --> 01:18:10,580
Why?

1708
01:18:10,582 --> 01:18:11,948
Because I don't wanna be away

1709
01:18:11,950 --> 01:18:13,416
from you and the kids
that long.

1710
01:18:13,418 --> 01:18:14,950
I'm an idiot!

1711
01:18:14,952 --> 01:18:17,118
I should take one of those jobs

1712
01:18:17,120 --> 01:18:19,687
and fly off
to the pyramids of zambezi

1713
01:18:19,689 --> 01:18:23,357
and the lost gardens
of wherever the fuck!

1714
01:18:23,359 --> 01:18:25,292
Just forget it.

1715
01:18:25,294 --> 01:18:28,595
Forget this whole, stupid trip.

1716
01:18:28,597 --> 01:18:30,263
You people are on your own.

1717
01:18:30,265 --> 01:18:32,665
I'm sure you'll find
a better husband and father.

1718
01:18:32,667 --> 01:18:35,868
A cowboy with a huge six-pack

1719
01:18:35,870 --> 01:18:41,005
who will take you to Paris
and wrestling and... To books.

1720
01:18:41,007 --> 01:18:42,573
What...

1721
01:18:43,675 --> 01:18:44,808
wait, where are you going?

1722
01:18:44,810 --> 01:18:47,310
Fuck if I know!

1723
01:18:47,312 --> 01:18:49,779
Ow! God!

1724
01:18:49,781 --> 01:18:52,881
These tumbleweeds are all filled
with things that are hard!

1725
01:19:01,289 --> 01:19:02,322
What the...

1726
01:19:09,662 --> 01:19:11,729
Oh, no.

1727
01:19:13,331 --> 01:19:14,798
Help.

1728
01:19:14,800 --> 01:19:16,566
Help!

1729
01:19:16,568 --> 01:19:18,134
Help!

1730
01:19:18,136 --> 01:19:20,136
Help!

1731
01:19:20,138 --> 01:19:21,170
Stop!

1732
01:19:21,172 --> 01:19:22,871
Come on. Go, go, go!

1733
01:19:23,339 --> 01:19:24,972
Help!

1734
01:19:27,041 --> 01:19:29,575
No!

1735
01:19:29,577 --> 01:19:32,044
Help!

1736
01:19:42,721 --> 01:19:44,888
Don't you kill him! Dad!

1737
01:19:44,890 --> 01:19:46,222
I'm so sorry.

1738
01:19:46,224 --> 01:19:48,657
When I called you a pedophile,
I was...

1739
01:19:48,659 --> 01:19:50,025
no! No, no, no, no!

1740
01:19:50,027 --> 01:19:53,728
No! Not...
not in front of my family!

1741
01:19:53,730 --> 01:19:56,330
Your wife left this
in a truck stop in Missouri.

1742
01:19:56,332 --> 01:19:58,765
Thought you might want it back.

1743
01:19:58,767 --> 01:20:00,600
Oh, my God.

1744
01:20:00,602 --> 01:20:02,234
Wait! Wait!

1745
01:20:02,236 --> 01:20:05,704
Is that my ring?

1746
01:20:05,706 --> 01:20:08,273
This man's been trying to
return it to us the whole time.

1747
01:20:09,709 --> 01:20:11,842
I don't know
how I could ever thank you.

1748
01:20:11,844 --> 01:20:13,677
No thanks necessary.

1749
01:20:13,679 --> 01:20:15,278
It was on my way.

1750
01:20:15,280 --> 01:20:17,346
So You're not a rapist?

1751
01:20:21,918 --> 01:20:24,786
Looks like your car's
pretty messed up.

1752
01:20:24,788 --> 01:20:26,387
Where you headed?

1753
01:20:26,389 --> 01:20:26,889
Um...

1754
01:20:30,425 --> 01:20:32,024
Home, I guess.

1755
01:20:32,026 --> 01:20:34,559
Well, I can take you
as far as San Francisco.

1756
01:20:34,561 --> 01:20:36,027
Will that help?

1757
01:20:37,229 --> 01:20:40,364
Yeah. Yeah, th-that'll work.

1758
01:20:40,366 --> 01:20:42,933
Thank you.
All right, come on, guys.

1759
01:20:42,935 --> 01:20:43,900
Thank you.

1760
01:20:47,638 --> 01:20:48,771
He still didn't answer me.

1761
01:20:48,773 --> 01:20:50,973
Oh, Kevin.

1762
01:21:06,153 --> 01:21:08,920
Well, thanks for the ride.
Really appreciate it.

1763
01:21:08,922 --> 01:21:10,788
Hey, you know,
you never told us

1764
01:21:10,790 --> 01:21:12,055
why you keep that Teddy bear
on the front of your truck.

1765
01:21:12,057 --> 01:21:13,556
Oh, yeah.

1766
01:21:13,558 --> 01:21:15,324
Oh, it makes the kids
feel more comfortable.

1767
01:21:15,326 --> 01:21:16,992
Oh, yeah? You... you have kids?

1768
01:21:16,994 --> 01:21:19,094
Nope.

1769
01:21:19,096 --> 01:21:20,095
Right. Take care.

1770
01:21:25,301 --> 01:21:28,435
Well, I guess that's that.

1771
01:21:28,437 --> 01:21:29,636
Yeah.

1772
01:21:29,638 --> 01:21:31,304
We'll get a flight home
tomorrow.

1773
01:21:31,306 --> 01:21:32,905
Do not stay here!

1774
01:21:32,907 --> 01:21:34,606
It's the worst bed and breakfast
we've ever been to!

1775
01:21:34,608 --> 01:21:36,274
They oughta
shut this place down!

1776
01:21:36,276 --> 01:21:38,409
The owner is a lunatic!

1777
01:21:38,411 --> 01:21:40,778
You all come back now, ya hear?

1778
01:21:40,780 --> 01:21:42,980
Hey!

1779
01:21:42,982 --> 01:21:44,648
Look who made it!

1780
01:21:44,650 --> 01:21:45,815
Ellen!

1781
01:21:45,817 --> 01:21:46,816
Oh, there you are.
They're here!

1782
01:21:46,818 --> 01:21:47,950
Hi, dad.

1783
01:21:47,952 --> 01:21:50,252
We were so happy
to get that call.

1784
01:21:50,254 --> 01:21:51,620
How was your trip?

1785
01:21:51,622 --> 01:21:54,155
- Well, it's a long story.
- Give me a hug.

1786
01:21:54,157 --> 01:21:56,524
- Hi, grandpa.
- Come here, you two.

1787
01:21:56,526 --> 01:21:57,925
Oh, my gosh!

1788
01:21:57,927 --> 01:21:59,026
You're gettin' so big!

1789
01:21:59,028 --> 01:22:00,660
Hey, come on, let's go inside.

1790
01:22:00,662 --> 01:22:03,095
- Grandpa, you don't have to.
- No, I can do it. Really.

1791
01:22:03,097 --> 01:22:04,362
- Oh, Russ.
- Clark.

1792
01:22:04,364 --> 01:22:05,963
Oh, no. I got this.

1793
01:22:05,965 --> 01:22:07,130
I'm fine.

1794
01:22:07,132 --> 01:22:09,665
Ow. This really hurts.

1795
01:22:09,667 --> 01:22:11,600
And that's when
the muffin made the car explode.

1796
01:22:11,602 --> 01:22:13,001
But it didn't really matter

1797
01:22:13,003 --> 01:22:14,335
because our luggage
and all of our stuff

1798
01:22:14,337 --> 01:22:15,669
had already been stolen

1799
01:22:15,671 --> 01:22:16,970
by the guy with the rat
on his shoulder.

1800
01:22:16,972 --> 01:22:18,638
They even took my guitar.

1801
01:22:18,640 --> 01:22:20,640
Oh, James, that's terrible.

1802
01:22:20,642 --> 01:22:22,108
A musician without
his instrument

1803
01:22:22,110 --> 01:22:26,311
is as bad as a shoemaker
without a toilet seat.

1804
01:22:26,313 --> 01:22:28,579
I may have something for you.

1805
01:22:40,558 --> 01:22:41,958
It's very fragile. Look.

1806
01:22:41,960 --> 01:22:44,293
- You take care of that.
- Wow, grandpa.

1807
01:22:44,295 --> 01:22:46,128
Thank you so much.

1808
01:22:46,130 --> 01:22:47,796
- Cool!
- Yeah!

1809
01:22:47,798 --> 01:22:48,997
Doesn't look like much,

1810
01:22:48,999 --> 01:22:50,798
but that's
a very special guitar.

1811
01:22:50,800 --> 01:22:52,633
It was given to me
by Bob Dillon.

1812
01:22:52,635 --> 01:22:53,867
<i>The</i> Bob Dylan?

1813
01:22:53,869 --> 01:22:55,669
No. <i>A</i> Bob Dillon.

1814
01:22:55,671 --> 01:22:56,936
D-I-l-l-o-n.

1815
01:22:56,938 --> 01:22:59,772
An accountant friend of mine.

1816
01:22:59,774 --> 01:23:02,007
But it was given to him
by Jimmy Hendricks.

1817
01:23:02,009 --> 01:23:03,575
<i>The</i> Jimi Hendrix?

1818
01:23:03,577 --> 01:23:05,343
No.

1819
01:23:05,345 --> 01:23:07,278
So how's
the b-and-b business going?

1820
01:23:07,280 --> 01:23:09,913
We love it, are you kidding?
It's a great fit for us.

1821
01:23:09,915 --> 01:23:11,147
We love visitors.

1822
01:23:11,149 --> 01:23:13,649
We love having people around
to care for.

1823
01:23:13,651 --> 01:23:14,950
We're people people.

1824
01:23:14,952 --> 01:23:16,151
Hey, guys.
You mind if we join you?

1825
01:23:16,153 --> 01:23:18,018
We're occupied right now.
Beat it.

1826
01:23:20,788 --> 01:23:22,488
Hmm. All right, guys,
it's gettin' late.

1827
01:23:22,490 --> 01:23:23,956
Why don't you go to bed, okay?

1828
01:23:23,958 --> 01:23:25,424
- Okay, mom.
- Yeah. I'll run you upstairs.

1829
01:23:25,426 --> 01:23:26,591
Good night,
grandma and grandpa.

1830
01:23:26,593 --> 01:23:28,025
- Nighty-night.
- Thank you.

1831
01:23:28,027 --> 01:23:30,660
Sleep tight.

1832
01:23:30,662 --> 01:23:33,129
Well, you've certainly
had an adventure.

1833
01:23:33,131 --> 01:23:34,430
Well, yes.

1834
01:23:34,432 --> 01:23:35,964
"Adventure"
is one way to put it.

1835
01:23:37,133 --> 01:23:38,132
How's Audrey?

1836
01:23:38,134 --> 01:23:39,700
Oh, she's great.

1837
01:23:39,702 --> 01:23:42,436
Yeah, she and stone,
they seem to be very happy.

1838
01:23:42,438 --> 01:23:43,837
Key word there is "seem."

1839
01:23:43,839 --> 01:23:44,971
What do you mean?

1840
01:23:44,973 --> 01:23:46,505
Their marriage is a sham.

1841
01:23:46,507 --> 01:23:47,873
What?

1842
01:23:47,875 --> 01:23:49,207
Well, they sleep around
on each other.

1843
01:23:49,209 --> 01:23:50,608
Been doin' it for years.

1844
01:23:50,610 --> 01:23:52,209
Oh, my gosh.

1845
01:23:52,211 --> 01:23:55,612
I just wish Audrey had found
a more solid marriage

1846
01:23:55,614 --> 01:23:57,080
like you and rusty.

1847
01:24:11,528 --> 01:24:13,262
Hey, Russ, can we talk?

1848
01:24:15,498 --> 01:24:18,332
I knew we had some problems.

1849
01:24:18,334 --> 01:24:19,833
Is it this bad?

1850
01:24:19,835 --> 01:24:22,468
Is our marriage dying?

1851
01:24:22,470 --> 01:24:23,902
No.

1852
01:24:23,904 --> 01:24:27,005
No, a marriage only dies
when you stop trying.

1853
01:24:27,007 --> 01:24:30,641
And you have never
stopped trying.

1854
01:24:30,643 --> 01:24:33,510
I just think maybe I did.

1855
01:24:33,512 --> 01:24:35,812
What do you mean?

1856
01:24:35,814 --> 01:24:38,014
I've only been thinking
about myself, you know?

1857
01:24:38,016 --> 01:24:39,582
I wanted to change the routine,

1858
01:24:39,584 --> 01:24:41,517
and I want to go on
exotic trips and...

1859
01:24:41,519 --> 01:24:45,487
Yeah, There's nothing wrong
with that.

1860
01:24:45,489 --> 01:24:47,822
I was crazy to think
I could make us closer

1861
01:24:47,824 --> 01:24:49,723
by locking us in a car
for a week.

1862
01:24:49,725 --> 01:24:52,058
No, but you were doing that
for us.

1863
01:24:52,060 --> 01:24:54,060
You have been trying so hard

1864
01:24:54,062 --> 01:24:57,196
to make this trip memorable
for me and the kids, and...

1865
01:24:57,198 --> 01:24:58,697
And I didn't appreciate that.

1866
01:24:58,699 --> 01:25:00,165
But why Would you?

1867
01:25:00,167 --> 01:25:03,768
I mean, I've put you
through some serious shit.

1868
01:25:03,770 --> 01:25:06,270
Literally,
a pool of shit in Arkansas.

1869
01:25:09,041 --> 01:25:11,207
You deserve better.

1870
01:25:11,209 --> 01:25:14,376
What, better than you?

1871
01:25:14,378 --> 01:25:16,911
How many men
Would sacrifice their careers

1872
01:25:16,913 --> 01:25:18,879
for their family like you have?

1873
01:25:18,881 --> 01:25:21,882
Oh, I didn't
sacrifice anything.

1874
01:25:21,884 --> 01:25:24,251
I have everything
I've ever wanted.

1875
01:25:36,629 --> 01:25:37,962
Debbie.

1876
01:25:37,964 --> 01:25:39,229
Yeah?

1877
01:25:39,231 --> 01:25:41,864
Will you continue
to be my wife?

1878
01:25:41,866 --> 01:25:43,932
I was wondering when you were
gonna give that back to me.

1879
01:25:43,934 --> 01:25:46,301
I was wondering
if you still wanted it.

1880
01:25:46,303 --> 01:25:48,636
I do.

1881
01:25:55,443 --> 01:25:56,643
Wait a minute.

1882
01:25:56,645 --> 01:25:58,077
Are we gonna do this?

1883
01:25:58,079 --> 01:25:59,311
Oh, yeah.

1884
01:25:59,313 --> 01:26:00,612
I'm gonna pound the shit
out of you.

1885
01:26:00,614 --> 01:26:01,746
- Russ!
- What?

1886
01:26:01,748 --> 01:26:03,547
Lock the door.

1887
01:26:03,549 --> 01:26:06,383
I'm gonna lock the shit
out of that door.

1888
01:26:08,954 --> 01:26:10,420
Hey, dad.

1889
01:26:10,422 --> 01:26:12,221
Morning, rusty.

1890
01:26:12,223 --> 01:26:14,823
You think you could drive us
to the airport this afternoon?

1891
01:26:14,825 --> 01:26:16,791
There's a flight
back to Chicago at 4:00.

1892
01:26:16,793 --> 01:26:18,125
Chicago?

1893
01:26:18,127 --> 01:26:19,726
What about Walley world?

1894
01:26:19,728 --> 01:26:23,296
Oh, no.
We, uh... we've had enough.

1895
01:26:23,298 --> 01:26:24,730
This trip's been a nightmare.

1896
01:26:24,732 --> 01:26:27,265
Well, that's what
family vacations are.

1897
01:26:27,267 --> 01:26:29,233
But you Can't give up, Russ.

1898
01:26:29,235 --> 01:26:30,667
Well, why not?

1899
01:26:30,669 --> 01:26:33,403
I mean, they always say
"it's not the destination,

1900
01:26:33,405 --> 01:26:34,971
"it's the journey," right?

1901
01:26:34,973 --> 01:26:36,605
The journey sucks.

1902
01:26:36,607 --> 01:26:39,307
That's what makes you
appreciate the destination.

1903
01:26:39,309 --> 01:26:41,809
You had a dream to take
your family to Walley world.

1904
01:26:41,811 --> 01:26:43,777
Never let that go.

1905
01:26:43,779 --> 01:26:45,812
I know I didn't.

1906
01:26:49,415 --> 01:26:51,749
Well, how Would
we even get to Walley world?

1907
01:26:51,751 --> 01:26:52,816
We don't have a car.

1908
01:26:52,818 --> 01:26:55,652
Hey, come on.

1909
01:26:55,654 --> 01:26:57,920
You leave that to me.

1910
01:27:08,530 --> 01:27:10,464
Oops. Wrong door.

1911
01:27:25,144 --> 01:27:27,712
Could I, uh, take the Nissan?

1912
01:27:27,714 --> 01:27:30,214
No. No.

1913
01:27:41,659 --> 01:27:44,159
Wait, dad, I thought
we were going to the airport.

1914
01:27:44,161 --> 01:27:45,894
Boys, when your father
makes you a promise,

1915
01:27:45,896 --> 01:27:47,128
he keeps it.

1916
01:27:47,130 --> 01:27:49,196
- That's not right.
- This sucks.

1917
01:28:08,980 --> 01:28:10,145
Wow.

1918
01:28:10,147 --> 01:28:12,714
This place is huge.

1919
01:28:12,716 --> 01:28:14,515
This is dope as fuck.

1920
01:28:14,517 --> 01:28:15,849
- Kevin.
- Kevin.

1921
01:28:15,851 --> 01:28:18,818
Told you you guys
Would love it, right?

1922
01:28:18,820 --> 01:28:21,220
Hey, dad.

1923
01:28:21,222 --> 01:28:23,222
It really is dope as fuck.

1924
01:28:23,224 --> 01:28:24,323
I know, right?

1925
01:28:24,325 --> 01:28:25,557
- Guys!
- Oh, wait!

1926
01:28:30,828 --> 01:28:34,230
There she is. The velociraptor.

1927
01:28:34,232 --> 01:28:36,031
I Can't believe
we actually made it.

1928
01:28:36,033 --> 01:28:37,032
I know.

1929
01:28:37,034 --> 01:28:38,433
Mwah!

1930
01:28:38,435 --> 01:28:39,500
You guys ready
for the ride of your life?

1931
01:28:39,502 --> 01:28:40,901
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, hells yeah.

1932
01:28:40,903 --> 01:28:43,069
If I'm being honest,
it looks a little daunting.

1933
01:28:43,071 --> 01:28:45,704
Come on. Race you to the ride.

1934
01:28:45,706 --> 01:28:47,272
Yeah, go, go! Faster! Come on!

1935
01:29:01,220 --> 01:29:04,288
Two more hours, guys.

1936
01:29:07,925 --> 01:29:10,192
Oh, my gosh.

1937
01:29:10,194 --> 01:29:12,060
All right, guys. Get psyched!

1938
01:29:12,062 --> 01:29:13,428
Yes!

1939
01:29:13,430 --> 01:29:15,496
This is it! This is why we came
all this way.

1940
01:29:19,767 --> 01:29:21,968
Excuse us.

1941
01:29:22,869 --> 01:29:24,135
What was that?

1942
01:29:24,137 --> 01:29:25,703
Last ride tonight.
Park's closin'.

1943
01:29:25,705 --> 01:29:28,772
- No, we were next.
- What?

1944
01:29:28,774 --> 01:29:30,073
Oh, no, no. That's not okay.

1945
01:29:30,075 --> 01:29:31,474
- That's not...
- This is ridiculous.

1946
01:29:31,476 --> 01:29:33,442
Hey. Excuse me.

1947
01:29:33,444 --> 01:29:35,043
You just cut in front of us.

1948
01:29:35,045 --> 01:29:36,978
No, see,
we bought the platinum pass

1949
01:29:36,980 --> 01:29:38,579
so we get to skip the lines.

1950
01:29:38,581 --> 01:29:40,247
Fifth time today on this one.

1951
01:29:40,249 --> 01:29:44,584
Right, well, w-w-we just drove
2,500 Miles to ride this ride

1952
01:29:44,586 --> 01:29:47,320
so you Can't just take
our spot.

1953
01:29:47,322 --> 01:29:49,789
Wait a minute, you...

1954
01:29:49,791 --> 01:29:51,290
Econo air.

1955
01:29:51,292 --> 01:29:52,391
Yeah?

1956
01:29:52,393 --> 01:29:53,925
Good to see ya.

1957
01:29:53,927 --> 01:29:55,593
All right, I'll tell you what.

1958
01:29:55,595 --> 01:29:59,196
Why don't you and your family
go fuck yourselves.

1959
01:30:04,001 --> 01:30:06,001
I'm sorry, guys.

1960
01:30:07,837 --> 01:30:09,303
Oh, my God!

1961
01:30:11,806 --> 01:30:13,306
Okay.

1962
01:30:13,308 --> 01:30:15,675
You're a dead man.

1963
01:30:23,182 --> 01:30:24,282
Get off!

1964
01:30:24,284 --> 01:30:25,850
Oh, it's on.

1965
01:30:25,852 --> 01:30:26,917
Kevin, no!

1966
01:30:30,389 --> 01:30:32,389
Wait, James.
No, You're not gonna fight.

1967
01:30:32,391 --> 01:30:33,790
I'm not gonna stand here
like a little bitch.

1968
01:30:33,792 --> 01:30:35,424
What?!

1969
01:30:35,426 --> 01:30:37,526
Oh, shit!

1970
01:31:10,619 --> 01:31:12,719
No, Kevin. Kevin, no.

1971
01:31:12,721 --> 01:31:14,320
Kevin, come on.

1972
01:31:15,622 --> 01:31:18,323
You people are fucking crazy!

1973
01:31:18,325 --> 01:31:19,991
What kind of a family are you?

1974
01:31:19,993 --> 01:31:21,792
We're the griswolds!

1975
01:31:21,794 --> 01:31:26,228
See you around
you piece of ass!

1976
01:31:26,230 --> 01:31:27,963
- Let's do this.
- All right.

1977
01:31:27,965 --> 01:31:29,764
Oh, man. I haven't been
in a fight like that for years.

1978
01:31:29,766 --> 01:31:32,566
First car, all right!

1979
01:31:32,568 --> 01:31:34,901
Man, our family
fucked that family up.

1980
01:31:34,903 --> 01:31:36,502
We did.

1981
01:31:36,504 --> 01:31:38,303
Did you see how I scratched
that girl's arm?

1982
01:31:38,305 --> 01:31:40,438
Oh, I saw it, honey.
You gave her a good scratch.

1983
01:31:40,440 --> 01:31:41,939
Yeah, my fingers
still hurt a little,

1984
01:31:41,941 --> 01:31:42,941
but I think I'll be okay.

1985
01:31:42,942 --> 01:31:44,608
Oh, boy. Here we go!

1986
01:31:44,610 --> 01:31:46,276
- Hold on.
- Oh, gosh!

1987
01:33:06,979 --> 01:33:08,044
Russ?

1988
01:33:08,046 --> 01:33:09,578
Yeah-huh?

1989
01:33:09,580 --> 01:33:12,647
Is it supposed to
stay upside-down like this?

1990
01:33:12,649 --> 01:33:14,482
Yeah. I don't think so.

1991
01:33:14,484 --> 01:33:15,483
Oh.

1992
01:33:15,485 --> 01:33:17,852
Dad, are we stuck?

1993
01:33:17,854 --> 01:33:19,854
Looks that way, pal.

1994
01:33:19,856 --> 01:33:22,089
My eyes,
they're starting to bulge.

1995
01:33:22,091 --> 01:33:24,658
I'm sure
they'll have us down any minute.

1996
01:33:30,663 --> 01:33:34,231
Well, guys, what'd you think
of Walley world?

1997
01:33:36,500 --> 01:33:38,267
Yeah.

1998
01:33:39,235 --> 01:33:40,735
Listen, boys.

1999
01:33:40,737 --> 01:33:42,103
I Can't tell you how much
it's meant to me

2000
01:33:42,105 --> 01:33:43,504
to spend all this time
with you.

2001
01:33:43,506 --> 01:33:46,740
I love you
more than anything in the world.

2002
01:33:46,742 --> 01:33:50,576
And if I could, I'd spend
every single day with you.

2003
01:33:50,578 --> 01:33:52,611
So, we'll see you in a week.

2004
01:33:52,613 --> 01:33:54,079
Wait, what's going on?

2005
01:33:54,081 --> 01:33:55,847
Petersons are gonna pick you up
at O'Hare,

2006
01:33:55,849 --> 01:33:56,881
and you'll stay with them.

2007
01:33:56,883 --> 01:33:59,049
Where are we going?

2008
01:33:59,051 --> 01:34:02,252
Someplace I shoulda taken you
a long time ago.

2009
01:34:02,254 --> 01:34:04,687
How did you get
free tickets to Paris?

2010
01:34:04,689 --> 01:34:06,855
I used my connections
as a pilot.

2011
01:34:06,857 --> 01:34:09,524
Oh, You're amazing.

2012
01:34:09,526 --> 01:34:11,893
Well, you are my queen,

2013
01:34:11,895 --> 01:34:13,694
and you deserve
to be treated like one.

2014
01:34:19,267 --> 01:34:23,034
I know
it's not exactly first-class

2015
01:34:23,036 --> 01:34:24,201
or coach.

2016
01:34:24,203 --> 01:34:26,636
Honey, it's perfect.

2017
01:34:26,638 --> 01:34:28,170
Yeah?

2018
01:34:38,212 --> 01:34:41,080
So how long is the flight?

2019
01:34:41,082 --> 01:34:42,114
12 hours.

2020
01:34:43,917 --> 01:34:45,549
Perfect.

2021
01:34:48,549 --> 01:34:52,549
Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com