1 00:00:06,272 --> 00:00:09,901 Twas brillig andtheslithy tows... 2 00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:13,503 aid”! andgimble in the walk. 3 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:16,572 Allmimsy wen! the bavgaws... 4 00:00:16,649 --> 00:00:19,982 andthemamenthsautgnbe. 5 00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:52,099 m's themidak mm mm- 6 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:56,768 agesdalkerthananyme [laden/crammed 7 00:02:56,843 --> 00:03:02,110 Anharnndausmanstercasls a My]! affean... 8 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,310 aver: ancehappyland 9 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,752 As towns and villages 10 00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:11,949 thehelplesssundvars seek mfilge... 11 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:16,052 behind the walls of the great city. 12 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,791 Butautin the forest... 13 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,333 in isolatedpoclrets... 14 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:26,395 still untouched by the ravages of the monster" 15 00:03:26,472 --> 00:03:31,136 life andhusinessgaes an... 16 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,644 as usual. 17 00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:38,541 Thirteen. fourteen— Oh. there's another little one. 18 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:41,348 - Fifteen. - What are you doing out there. Dennis? 19 00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:43,446 Stocktaking. Father. 20 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:46,651 - I thought you took stock this morning. - Oh. M. I did. 21 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,593 But it never hurts to keep an up—to-the-moment account of your stock. 22 00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:51,596 In business nowadays. Father— 23 00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:55,464 Never mind that nonsense and come and help me with this cask. 24 00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:58,629 All right. Father. I'll finish stocktaking later. 25 00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:06,809 See. the secret of the craft is to keep the stake— 26 00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:10,611 Take hold of the hoop. 27 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,186 Hello. Dennis. Ralph. 28 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:21,052 Good day. Mr. Fishfinger. Can I be of some assistance to you today? 29 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:23,288 - Well— - Oh. Dennis. what are you— 30 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,463 Yes. well. see. I need some barrels. Dennis... 31 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:32,265 for shipping dried fish to the city. 32 00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:35,603 Big demand there. you know. since this monster scare. 33 00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,166 My goodness. prices going up all the time. 34 00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:40,906 That's great. that's great But tell me. Mr. Fishfinger... 35 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:44,313 do you believe all these stories about whole villages being destroyed? 36 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:47,649 Well. I haven't actually seen the monster myself". you know. 37 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,382 But when I was over in Muckley the other day— 38 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,822 Muckley? That's quite a ways. isn't it? 39 00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:54,883 It's two mile or more. easy. 40 00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:58,425 Gosh. I'd like to travel someday. Mr. Fishfinger. 41 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,166 - Anyway. about the monster— - Oh. yes. 42 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:04,431 Well. this gmin merchant. you see. over in Muckley... 43 00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:08,270 he claimed that he'd actually seen it. 44 00:05:10,109 --> 00:05:14,603 Turned his teeth snow white overnight. they say. 45 00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:22,710 - Anyway. about the barrels— - Yes. well. must be cheap. 46 00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,723 First of all. cheap. Must be cheap. 47 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:27,521 | thinkwe can attend to your needs. Mr. Fishfinger. 48 00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:30,858 Exactly how inapensive? 49 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,358 - No more than tuppence apiece. - Tuppence? 50 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:37,596 What are you talking about. Fishfinger? 51 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,037 I can't turn out a decent barrel for that price. and you know it. 52 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:44,440 - Look. Father. don't you think— - Ralph. let's be sensible. 53 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,944 See. the barrels have only got to last until they get to the city. 54 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,947 - It's easy money. - Nol 55 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:53,816 I don't make barrels to last two or three days. Fishfinger. 56 00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:56,946 | make barrels to last a lifetime. I'm a craftsman! 57 00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:00,618 -We know. Everybody knows. -|t's something you'll never understand. 58 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,662 Oryou either. Dennis. I'm aflaid. 59 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:06,665 You don't want barrels. You want bags. 60 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:07,893 _ |_ - Now get out! 61 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,901 - Look. Father— - Out! 62 00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:11,994 And don't come back here with your shoddy deals. 63 00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:15,837 - Yes. Good-bye. - Tuppence! 64 00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:19,309 - I'm sorry. Mr. Fishfinger. I'm sorry. - It's all right. Dennis. 65 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,507 He's given me a very good idea. 66 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,484 Wait. Mr. Fishfinger! | think—l think I can get— 67 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:27,917 Bye. Dennis. 68 00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:30,649 Tuppence! 69 00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:44,068 Griselda. 70 00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:46,430 Griselda. 71 00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,873 - Yeah? - It is I. Dennis... 72 00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:52,274 - come to see you. - | see. 73 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:56,008 How are you. my love? 74 00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,681 - Have you missed me? - What? 75 00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:03,221 Oh. Griselda. it's lovely to see you again. 76 00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:05,655 I think about you all day long when I'm taking stock. 77 00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:08,523 I dream of the day when I'll ask for your hand in marriage... 78 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,687 and we'll build that little cottage. 79 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:14,164 I'll come home from the shop. We'll have supper together. Hey. Roger! 80 00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:17,225 Roger. what are you doing? Well. just a— You— 81 00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:19,271 What? 82 00:07:23,042 --> 00:07:26,136 Oh. Griselda. Sorry. 83 00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:31,205 I know I can't ask you to declare your love for me... 84 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,185 till I'm in a better position to marry you. but say you'll wait for me. 85 00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:37,848 - Say I've got a chance— - Let go! 86 00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:41,121 - Why. Griselda. why? - I've gotta scratch. 87 00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:47,923 Oh. sorry. Dennis. Hovifs your father? 88 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,025 Oh. never better. Mrs. Fishfinger. 89 00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:56,335 - Is that Dennis Copper? - Yes. 90 00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:01,507 Hello. Dennis. You've got garbage all over your vest. 91 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:07,183 You really ought to look after your appearance. Very bad for business. 92 00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:09,721 Oh. by the way. I thought you'd like to know... 93 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:14,021 I got Wat the Mercer to run me up a few cloth bags— only a ha'penny each. 94 00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:17,529 | wish I could’ve convinced Father to see it your way. Mr. Fishfinger. 95 00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:21,192 Yes. well. you see. a man's got to move with the times. 96 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:24,998 When you take over the shop. no doubt we'll do a lot of business together. 97 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:27,801 Oh. that won't be for some time yet. Mr. Fishfi nger. 98 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:32,242 Oh. well. it's getting late. I'd better be going. 99 00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,939 Okay by me. 100 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,812 Drop in any time. Dennis. 101 00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,818 Good-bye. Griselda. 102 00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:07,111 m 103 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,385 Is that you. Dennis? 104 00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:19,481 Yes. Father. 105 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:24,121 - Come closer. Dennis. - Yes. Father. 106 00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:32,199 - What happened? - It's my heart. 107 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,240 I haven't long. 108 00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:40,002 l'm going— I'm going to— 109 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,013 Throw up? 110 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,514 No. 111 00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,544 - Father. - Son. 112 00:09:48,621 --> 00:09:52,318 What shall I do without your guiding hand. without your skill? 113 00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:56,127 - Son. - Yes. Father? 114 00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:58,629 I'll tell you... 115 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:02,464 you're going to end up just like that... 116 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,869 Fishfinger. 117 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,374 Who. me? 118 00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:14,811 Father.| know Mr. Fishfinger's a very successful businessman. but— 119 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:20,511 Because you've got no understanding... 120 00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:23,646 of craftsmanship... 121 00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:28,717 no appreciation of the beauty of wood 122 00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:32,864 because you'rejust a shallow... 123 00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,724 dull. pretentious... 124 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,234 m 125 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,739 little stock-taker! 126 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,536 Oh. Father. you're delirious. 127 00:10:43,609 --> 00:10:45,076 You don't know what you're saying. 128 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:48,375 Oh. yes. I do. you— you whimpering... 129 00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:50,438 snotty-nosed... 130 00:10:50,516 --> 00:10:53,076 cretinous oal! 131 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:58,853 - I've wanted to say this for years. - Father. we're not alone. 132 00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:02,018 You're everything I despise! 133 00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:04,426 Dad's raving. I'm aflaid. 134 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,931 No. he's not. 135 00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:12,027 You and your kind will drive good. honest craftsmen to the wall. 136 00:11:12,104 --> 00:11:14,937 Do you hear? To the wall! 137 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,373 Honestly. Dad. I was only trying to improve the business. 138 00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:22,179 You won't have my business... 139 00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:25,217 to improve anymore. 140 00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:27,684 Not my cooperage. 141 00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:31,245 Because I'm taking it with me! 142 00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:33,382 - Dad. I don't understand. - Don't understand? 143 00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:37,054 You damned ninny. I'm renouncing you. You're no son of mine. 144 00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:39,461 You're no craftsman's son. 145 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:43,127 Get out. out of my sight! 146 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:46,899 Stock-taker! 147 00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:15,898 Griselda! Griselda. my angel! 148 00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:18,766 - Go away. We're eatin'. - |s Griselda there? 149 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:22,535 - Is that Dennis Cooper? - Yes. sir. Can I speak to Griselda? 150 00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:24,735 She's eating. Dennis. What do you want? 151 00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:28,041 I'm going away. Mr. Fishfinger. I'm going to the city. 152 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:31,675 And I'm going to make good and I'm gonna come back and claim Griselda's hand. 153 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,844 So you will. Dennis. Good-bye. 154 00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:40,492 Griselda. I'm going away. Say something. Say anything. 155 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:44,791 - Pass the potatoes. - I heard that! You are in there. 156 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:48,322 Mydarling. I'm going away. I may not even see you— 157 00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:50,834 That's rotten! 158 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:58,232 For me? Griselda. you do care. 159 00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:03,247 A keepsake. something that will always remind me ofyou. 160 00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:07,149 Oh. Griselda. I'll carry this nut to my heart until the day when we nut... 161 00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,153 Say good-bye to the boy. Grisey. 162 00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:13,324 mm! 163 00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:23,367 Good-bye. Griselda. 164 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:08,113 No. no! Stay away! 165 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,307 Stay away from me! 166 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,418 W 167 00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:38,737 What's that? What was that? 168 00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:57,594 Good morning. Your Majesty. 169 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,333 Good morning. Passelevve. 170 00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:06,030 - Good morning to you. sir. - And to you. sir. A fine day. 171 00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:08,972 Truly. Your business goes well. I trust. 172 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,635 One doesn't like to complain. And your own commercial efforts? 173 00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:14,270 Oh. one does one's best. you know. 174 00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:16,439 I understand you're opening a new shop. 175 00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:19,279 Yes. down by the town gate. It's an area of considerable growth. 176 00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:22,843 Oh. I agree. I trust we'll be hearing fi'om you with an order soon. 177 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,483 Oh. certainly. That is. if your prices are competitive. 178 00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:29,493 - Surely. - What's the latest wine-to-water ratio? 179 00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:32,121 - Did you see it this morning? - Yes. it camejust as I left the house. 180 00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:35,792 It's two wine to one water still. but I don't see how it can hold at that rate. 181 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,836 Theyre very lucky to be getting any wine at all. you know. 182 00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:42,863 Is that all? I thought I detected a certain oneness in the last consignment. 183 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:46,207 Oh. that's odd. It was very robust when it left my premises. 184 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,939 Get a move on. 185 00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:51,449 Let me send you a sample of our new shipment of port with my compliments. 186 00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:55,078 Move it. you lame buggers. That would be most kind of you. 187 00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:57,418 Why do you suppose the king has called this council? 188 00:15:57,489 --> 00:16:00,083 Only the Lord knows. Get going. you! 189 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,127 But I have heard the chamberlain is urging him... 190 00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:03,661 to take measures against the monster. 191 00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:07,096 Measures? That would allow the peasants to leave the city? 192 00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:11,603 It could very well be. And that would not be good for business. Move it! 193 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:14,867 Come on! Get a move on! 194 00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:45,634 - After you. - No. you first. please. 195 00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:47,638 You're too kind. 196 00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:41,616 Attention! Our Most Glorious Majesty... 197 00:17:41,693 --> 00:17:44,161 lGng Bruno the Questionable. 198 00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:54,433 Son of Olaf the Loud. 199 00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:57,031 Oh. he's coming! He's coming! 200 00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:59,043 I'm not finished yet. 201 00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:01,545 Oh. look out! He's here! 202 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,556 Pay attention. Your Majesty. 203 00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:14,820 Surely you must see it's a matter of the gravest urgency. 204 00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:17,794 - Yes. yes. of course. Passelevve. -jesus Christ! 205 00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:22,360 Quick. sire. down! 206 00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:28,498 Stop it! 207 00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:31,070 Come on. 208 00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:36,013 Bless my soul! 209 00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:41,018 Great grandnephew... 210 00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:43,884 of Emperor Otto the Bent... 211 00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:48,587 conqueror... 212 00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:52,387 of Freedonia. 213 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:55,797 Let him go! Get up. man. 214 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,928 Silly thing. You'll get your rags all dirty. 215 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,936 Sire. help us. sire. 216 00:19:03,008 --> 00:19:05,875 The monster is ravaging the countryside. 217 00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:10,381 It has destroyed our homes. We haven't eaten in days. 218 00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:11,939 - Weeks. - Months. 219 00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:14,884 _ Except— - I ate my shoe yesterday. 220 00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:19,686 Oh. that's nothing. late three toes offofmy right foot. 221 00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:22,727 - Terrible monster— - That ain't your right foot. 222 00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:25,285 Know-it-all! Are you a doctor or something? 223 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:27,730 - Please— - I saw a doctor once. 224 00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:30,632 He didn't see me. I was hiding. 225 00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:34,900 Your Majesty. save us fi'om the great green beast. 226 00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:38,306 _ GEM - The side I saw was a dirty yellow. 227 00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:41,312 - No. it were more orange. - No. it was grajd 228 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,579 Now stop it. Stop it. all of you! 229 00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,815 Go on. get out. get out! 230 00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:53,153 What are you doing? Go on. get out! 231 00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:55,557 I'll read this to the king. 232 00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:57,561 - Stop it! - Go on! 233 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,866 You know. it seems to me. Passelewe... 234 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:04,664 that my subjects are becoming a pain in the arse. 235 00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:07,432 Yes. well. my dear. you must do something. 236 00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:09,872 I mean. your kingdom is paralyzed with fear. 237 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,103 The city below is overflowing with refugees. 238 00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:14,577 Theyre simple people and easy prey... 239 00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:17,171 for every sharp-witted merchant and trickster. 240 00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:21,652 Past grand master of the Royal Order of Lowndes Wctor. Savior of Wales. 241 00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:26,483 _ He)! - And king. 242 00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:52,950 Your Majesty. your council meets today in solemn session... 243 00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:56,818 to urgently discuss the terrible havoc- 244 00:20:56,888 --> 00:21:00,790 mealredhythemanster all over the country/stile. 245 00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:04,351 Look. I'm telling you. nobody gets in here without money or possessions. 246 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,363 But I've got possessions. 247 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:09,161 - See? - That's only a rock. 248 00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:10,861 - Only a rock? - Yeah. 249 00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:14,736 Listen. what if this is notjust an ordinary rock? 250 00:21:14,806 --> 00:21:18,037 What if this is a diamond? 251 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,874 It don't shine. Now get out of here! 252 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,216 Right. nut. 253 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:28,811 Now. what have you got? Any grain? Any cloth? 254 00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:32,721 No. I haven't got anything. really. but it's important that I get in the city. 255 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:35,021 That's what they all say. Now move along. 256 00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:38,654 No. you don't understand. I've come to get ajob. I'm starting all over again. 257 00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:41,528 l've got lots of good ideas. I think that. once in there. I could have— 258 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:46,401 Now look. sonny. shove off. eh? Wait a minute! What have you got here? 259 00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,132 What's this? 260 00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:52,768 You told us you had nothing. 261 00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:55,711 - That's not for eating. - What do you mean? 262 00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:58,750 You could last for a week on that. 263 00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:01,843 just a minute. What are you up to. sonny? 264 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,945 Oh. nothing. nothing. It's a memento. 265 00:22:04,022 --> 00:22:05,956 A memento? 266 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,419 My sweetheart gave it to me before I left home. 267 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,860 She gave you that? 268 00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:14,694 Yes. Can I have it back. please? 269 00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:18,264 God. she must really love you. 270 00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:24,905 Yeah. I've got a sort of sticky feeling inside mejust thinking of it. 271 00:22:24,976 --> 00:22:28,776 - You sure are a lucky guy. - Come on. Fred. Cut it out. 272 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:31,111 - He's not getting in. - I've got to. I've got to— 273 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:35,244 - Give him a break.just this once. - No chance. Now push off. you. 274 00:22:43,228 --> 00:22:45,059 ]ust 'cause he's got a potato. you can't let— 275 00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:49,362 I'm tellin' you. that's what they all say. Wait a minute. 276 00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:53,427 Hey. you! Come back! 277 00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:03,147 That's far enough. Let's have a look at your legs. 278 00:23:22,701 --> 00:23:24,134 LL“. 279 00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:30,802 And so. Your Majesty... 280 00:23:30,876 --> 00:23:36,371 your great-great-great—great—great grandfather... 281 00:23:36,448 --> 00:23:38,416 lGng Max the Vainglorious... 282 00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:42,385 by a tournament. chose fi'om his knights a champion... 283 00:23:42,454 --> 00:23:45,321 to flee the kingdom fi'om the pestilence. 284 00:23:45,390 --> 00:23:50,259 Mounted on his mighty charger. Sir Bromiades waged— 285 00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:58,903 What's that? Quickly. man. 286 00:23:58,970 --> 00:24:01,962 Somebody might be trying to poison me. 287 00:24:04,743 --> 00:24:07,143 Plaster. Your Majesty. 288 00:24:07,212 --> 00:24:09,874 Oh. Carry on. Passelevve. 289 00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:13,850 - Mounted on his— - The eleventh— 290 00:24:13,919 --> 00:24:18,083 - Mounted on his mighty— - No. wait. Twelfth century. 291 00:24:18,156 --> 00:24:21,216 Shut up! Fool! 292 00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:23,090 Carry on. Passelevve. 293 00:24:23,161 --> 00:24:27,154 Until peace was once more restored to the kingdom. 294 00:24:27,232 --> 00:24:31,293 With that. lGng Max rode back to the cheers of his subjects... 295 00:24:31,369 --> 00:24:34,065 who lined the road for over 50 miles. 296 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:39,270 Fifty miles? Do you mean they cheered him all that way? 297 00:24:39,344 --> 00:24:44,839 Wow! They certainly must have respected him. 298 00:24:44,916 --> 00:24:48,044 You're right. Passelevve. We'll hold a tournament. 299 00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:52,385 It's years since we've heard the clash of sword against shield... 300 00:24:52,457 --> 00:24:56,393 the clamor of mightily armored knights crashing to the ground... 301 00:24:56,461 --> 00:25:01,455 the spurt of blood as the dagger is thrust into unprotected groin. 302 00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:03,296 Oh. no. 303 00:25:03,368 --> 00:25:05,233 Oh. no. dear. No. no. no. no. 304 00:25:05,303 --> 00:25:09,706 What I had in mind was a— was a tournament of plaisance. 305 00:25:11,142 --> 00:25:13,235 A plaisance.’ 306 00:25:13,311 --> 00:25:17,338 Passelevve. do my ear holes hear aright? 307 00:25:17,415 --> 00:25:22,318 A plaisance with blunted sword and collared lance? 308 00:25:23,388 --> 00:25:25,515 Where's the honor in that? Where's the glory... 309 00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:28,889 in a bunch of buffoons playing pillow fights. eh? 310 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:34,398 No! It must be a l'autrance to the death. 311 00:25:34,466 --> 00:25:37,526 - Please. Bruno. please. - No. no. no. 312 00:25:37,602 --> 00:25:40,730 Go with all speed and make the arrangements. 313 00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:44,700 I can't wait to tell the princess. 314 00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:59,148 Daughter? 315 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:02,284 Still working hard. I see. 316 00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:06,588 You and the blessed Sisters of Misery. 317 00:26:07,666 --> 00:26:11,602 Well. what are you making. daughter? 318 00:26:11,670 --> 00:26:16,369 A tapestry. Father. depicting the famous siege of Castle Apcadwallader. 319 00:26:16,441 --> 00:26:19,410 See? In this portion... 320 00:26:19,477 --> 00:26:23,709 the king is eating his horse on the 98th day of the siege. 321 00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:26,516 Splendid! 322 00:26:27,652 --> 00:26:30,712 Very pretty. daughter. But you were always— 323 00:26:32,624 --> 00:26:36,151 Careful. Father. Sister Winnet fell out last week. 324 00:26:38,363 --> 00:26:42,732 Daughter. our kingdom will soon be he of the monster. 325 00:26:42,801 --> 00:26:46,794 I have declared a tournament to find a champion to destroy it. 326 00:26:46,871 --> 00:26:49,669 - What. the kingdom? - Oh. no. 327 00:26:49,741 --> 00:26:54,075 - Of course not. The monster. - Oh! I see. 328 00:26:54,145 --> 00:26:56,079 Yes. and not only that... 329 00:26:56,147 --> 00:26:59,674 but the successful knight will win your hand in marriage. 330 00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:02,548 Marriage? 331 00:27:03,888 --> 00:27:06,880 Yes. well. you want to be married. surely? 332 00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:08,926 - Of course I do. Daddy. - Well. then. 333 00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:12,896 But I want to marry a prince. I'm supposed to marrya prince. 334 00:27:12,964 --> 00:27:16,593 That's why! wait in this tower just like all the books say to do. 335 00:27:16,668 --> 00:27:19,933 Are any of the contestants princes? 336 00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:26,276 - Well. not uactly. - No? 337 00:27:26,344 --> 00:27:29,745 No. but I could make one a prince. couldn't I? 338 00:27:29,814 --> 00:27:32,510 - I mean the winner. - It's not the same. 339 00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:37,385 No. not really. Ah. well. never mind. 340 00:27:37,455 --> 00:27:39,389 Once the monster is destroyed... 341 00:27:39,457 --> 00:27:42,756 I will build you a beautiful bridal suite... 342 00:27:42,827 --> 00:27:44,954 in the lovely west tower. 343 00:27:55,940 --> 00:27:58,204 On second thought... 344 00:27:58,276 --> 00:28:00,801 I think the view fi'om the lovely east tower... 345 00:28:00,879 --> 00:28:04,144 would be infinitely more preferable. hmm? 346 00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:52,689 - Who is it? - Excuse me. 347 00:28:52,764 --> 00:28:55,164 -Watch him. Watch him. - What does he want? 348 00:28:55,233 --> 00:28:59,363 - Could I have some of your soup? - He's after our soup! 349 00:28:59,437 --> 00:29:01,166 - Somebody stop him! - Poke an 'ole in him! 350 00:29:02,540 --> 00:29:05,509 - I'll do anything. - Anything? Will he gather firewood? 351 00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:07,511 I don't know. What do you think? 352 00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:09,672 I thinkwe should poke an 'ole in him. 353 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:12,478 No. I'll collect some firewood foryou if you let me have some of your soup. 354 00:29:12,550 --> 00:29:14,177 Where do I get it fi'om? 355 00:29:30,101 --> 00:29:33,332 Well. could I have a little taste of the soup first? 356 00:29:33,404 --> 00:29:36,601 just see if! like it? No. I thought not. 357 00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:43,214 Well. I'd better go then. The firewood. was it? 358 00:30:39,070 --> 00:30:41,698 So you've discovered my diamond mine. have you? 359 00:30:41,773 --> 00:30:46,210 - I was just gathering firewood. - Liar! It's the diamonds you're after. 360 00:30:46,277 --> 00:30:48,211 Theyre not diamonds. Theyrejust rocks. 361 00:30:48,279 --> 00:30:49,541 just rocks? 362 00:30:52,183 --> 00:30:56,119 Quick thinking. but not quick enough to save your skin! 363 00:30:56,187 --> 00:31:00,453 The secret of my diamond mine dies with you! 364 00:31:33,858 --> 00:31:37,658 I just dropped in to tell you to start without me. 365 00:31:39,197 --> 00:31:41,131 Perhaps another night. 366 00:32:47,665 --> 00:32:50,862 Open up there! Open the door! 367 00:32:50,935 --> 00:32:53,062 Open it up! Open up in there! 368 00:33:44,789 --> 00:33:46,723 Rush hour! 369 00:34:12,483 --> 00:34:12,617 Hearken before it is too late! 370 00:34:12,617 --> 00:34:15,313 Hearken before it is too late! 371 00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:17,149 Repent! 372 00:34:17,221 --> 00:34:19,086 Cleanse yourselves! 373 00:34:20,425 --> 00:34:21,858 The beast is at the gates! 374 00:34:25,263 --> 00:34:28,357 The beast is at the gates! 375 00:34:29,867 --> 00:34:31,300 Cleanse yourselves! 376 00:34:31,369 --> 00:34:34,099 Horrible. Horrible. 377 00:34:35,173 --> 00:34:36,697 Repent! 378 00:34:36,774 --> 00:34:39,641 The beast is at the gates! 379 00:34:40,711 --> 00:34:43,271 Cleanse yourselves! 380 00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:47,017 All citizens. listen to me. 381 00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:51,283 - Yeah. you better bloody listen! - I hope you're listening! 382 00:34:52,123 --> 00:34:54,990 Are you listening up? 383 00:34:55,059 --> 00:34:58,859 -You better listen up! - Shut up! 384 00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:01,797 - You were the one making the noise. - You never listen. 385 00:35:01,866 --> 00:35:04,835 - Sin! - Sin. Sin. 386 00:35:04,902 --> 00:35:08,065 - The bristling spikes of the pondylus. - The pondyl us. 387 00:35:08,139 --> 00:35:11,575 -The pointed crests of the dactylopters. -The dactylopters. 388 00:35:11,642 --> 00:35:13,701 - The trigla. - The trigla. 389 00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:19,148 -Andthellyinghagfish -Andthellyinghagfish 390 00:35:19,217 --> 00:35:25,019 Are as nothing compared to the beast that holds us prisoner! 391 00:35:25,089 --> 00:35:26,488 The beast— 392 00:35:27,558 --> 00:35:29,219 Flying hogfish? 393 00:35:31,095 --> 00:35:33,689 I seen a gliding hogfish once. 394 00:35:33,764 --> 00:35:37,495 Never fiyi ng. Not actually fiyi ng. 395 00:35:41,939 --> 00:35:42,073 Stewed mackerel! Stewed mackerel! 396 00:35:42,073 --> 00:35:46,305 Stewed mackerel! Stewed mackerel! 397 00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:54,516 Cabbages. Cabbages. 398 00:35:54,585 --> 00:35:59,682 Rats killed. lady. All very tidy. All very quiet. 399 00:35:59,757 --> 00:36:01,247 - Morning. - Oh. morning. 400 00:36:01,325 --> 00:36:03,555 I'm afiaid I haven't got any money. 401 00:36:03,628 --> 00:36:07,029 Oh. that's all right. 402 00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:10,067 Thank you. Thank you. 403 00:36:10,868 --> 00:36:13,666 - Is that yours? - Well. of course it is. 404 00:36:13,738 --> 00:36:15,467 Whose did you think it was? 405 00:36:15,540 --> 00:36:17,906 - You're new to the city? - Yes. 406 00:36:17,975 --> 00:36:21,433 I came here fi'om the country to start a new life here. You know. get ajob. 407 00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:25,778 Ajob? No chance. son. Oh. thank you. governor. 408 00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:28,910 Well. surely there must be plenty of opportunities. 409 00:36:28,986 --> 00:36:31,250 Morning. Thank you. 410 00:36:31,322 --> 00:36:33,722 I am a qualified cooper's apprentice. 411 00:36:34,825 --> 00:36:36,952 Cooper's apprentice? 412 00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:41,362 Well. what a coincidence. I'm a cooper myself. 413 00:36:41,432 --> 00:36:44,731 You may even have heard of me. Wat Dabney. 414 00:36:44,802 --> 00:36:46,463 Wat Dabnejd 415 00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:49,631 Not the Wat Dabney? 416 00:36:49,707 --> 00:36:51,470 The inventor of the inverted firkin? 417 00:36:51,542 --> 00:36:53,476 The very same. lad. 418 00:36:53,544 --> 00:36:58,311 Now. if I can't get ajob here. what chance have you got? 419 00:36:58,382 --> 00:37:03,319 Come here. Here. You see that plaque? 420 00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:07,187 There. under the barrel. Well. that's a guild sign. 421 00:37:08,025 --> 00:37:11,552 To work there. you've got to be a member of the guild. 422 00:37:11,629 --> 00:37:15,963 But you're not. and I'm not and not likelyto be. 423 00:37:16,033 --> 00:37:17,432 But that's not fair. 424 00:37:17,501 --> 00:37:20,197 Fair or not. the guilds have this town sewn up. 425 00:37:20,271 --> 00:37:21,761 Morning. 426 00:37:21,839 --> 00:37:23,830 What am I gonna do? 427 00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:27,275 Well. it's no good going around with a long face. is it? 428 00:37:27,345 --> 00:37:29,438 I did for weeks. Nearly starved. 429 00:37:29,513 --> 00:37:32,107 Then only this morning. I thought of this. 430 00:37:34,452 --> 00:37:35,885 Hey... 431 00:37:37,088 --> 00:37:39,579 maybe we could team up together. 432 00:37:40,658 --> 00:37:42,489 Sure. 433 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,721 - All we've got to do is— - No. No. thankyou. 434 00:37:44,795 --> 00:37:47,821 No. No. Good-bye. I think it's a one-man business. 435 00:37:48,733 --> 00:37:52,066 What a golden chance he's missing. 436 00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:24,430 Attention! Attention! 437 00:38:24,502 --> 00:38:27,130 Ladies and gentlemen. your attention. please. 438 00:38:27,204 --> 00:38:31,641 In my humble capacity as herald to His Magni— 439 00:38:31,709 --> 00:38:36,339 Magnificence. IGng Bruno the Questionable... 440 00:38:38,049 --> 00:38:41,041 it is my privilege to announce... 441 00:38:46,724 --> 00:38:49,192 ajoost— 442 00:38:49,260 --> 00:38:51,353 sorry. ajoust... 443 00:38:52,430 --> 00:38:56,799 to the death to choose a champion— 444 00:38:56,867 --> 00:39:00,826 a champion to flee the country— 445 00:39:00,905 --> 00:39:04,341 to flee the country fi'om the torments and ravages... 446 00:39:04,408 --> 00:39:06,342 of the mon— 447 00:39:09,046 --> 00:39:10,479 Excuse me. 448 00:39:11,716 --> 00:39:13,650 Thank you very much. 449 00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:23,182 As a reward for killing the monster... 450 00:39:23,260 --> 00:39:26,787 the king's champion will receive... 451 00:39:26,864 --> 00:39:31,801 half the princess's hand and the entire kingdom in marriage. 452 00:39:36,107 --> 00:39:38,598 Correction. It is. ofcourse— 453 00:39:38,676 --> 00:39:43,136 it is. of course. the king's hand and half the princess's kingdom. 454 00:39:45,883 --> 00:39:47,180 Excuse me. 455 00:39:51,055 --> 00:39:52,989 Yes. I see. Thank you. 456 00:39:53,057 --> 00:39:56,458 I'vejust received final confirmation of the final terms. 457 00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:59,587 It is. of course. the princess's hand... 458 00:39:59,663 --> 00:40:03,292 and half the entire kingdom. 459 00:41:57,815 --> 00:42:00,943 Beware thejabberwock. my son. 460 00:42:01,018 --> 00:42:03,646 - Cabbages. Cabbages. - Thejaws that bite... 461 00:42:03,721 --> 00:42:05,655 - the claws that catch. - Can I have one for nothing? 462 00:42:05,723 --> 00:42:07,657 Go on. Get off. 463 00:43:51,962 --> 00:43:55,591 Hot roasted rats! Only a farthing. 464 00:43:55,666 --> 00:43:57,657 Rats on a stick! 465 00:43:57,735 --> 00:44:01,034 One ofyou is going to be the lucky owner of this egg— 466 00:44:01,105 --> 00:44:05,838 Get 'em hot! There you are. sonny. Off you go then. 467 00:44:05,909 --> 00:44:10,437 Here then! Get your rats! Only a farthing! 468 00:44:10,514 --> 00:44:14,109 Tumips. Tumips. Get your turnips. Tumips here. 469 00:44:14,184 --> 00:44:17,051 Tumips. Tumips. Get your turnips. 470 00:44:38,842 --> 00:44:40,275 Hey. watch it! 471 00:44:54,892 --> 00:44:56,826 jesus Christ! 472 00:45:00,030 --> 00:45:02,760 I'm awfully sorry. I only wanted a bite of turnip. 473 00:45:02,833 --> 00:45:04,494 just keep walking. 474 00:45:06,270 --> 00:45:09,865 Hold up one minute. sir. I'll have you out in two shakes. 475 00:45:09,940 --> 00:45:12,204 - Come on! - I've got it. really. 476 00:45:15,279 --> 00:45:16,712 How about that then? 477 00:45:16,780 --> 00:45:20,739 First-class service as advertised. Don't forget. Tell your fi'iends. 478 00:45:25,189 --> 00:45:27,953 - Where do you want it? - Over there by the bumishing pit. 479 00:45:28,025 --> 00:45:30,323 Over there by the bumishing pit. 480 00:45:30,394 --> 00:45:32,328 I suppose you want this lot due in today. 481 00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:34,660 What happened? A tree fall on him? 482 00:45:37,868 --> 00:45:39,301 All right in there. are you? 483 00:45:41,872 --> 00:45:45,672 Are you the master annorer? just look at this arm brace! 484 00:45:45,743 --> 00:45:47,335 You call that workmanship? 485 00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:50,346 - I can't do everything— - And look at thisjambeau! 486 00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:52,678 - What's wrong with it? - It fell off. that's all! 487 00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:54,945 Can't please some people. They want miracles. 488 00:45:55,018 --> 00:45:58,215 - I sent for the best Italian armor. - Yes. because arm braces are simple. 489 00:45:58,288 --> 00:46:01,780 I don't want to hear it! You said Friday afternoon! 490 00:46:01,859 --> 00:46:04,657 And to me. that means Friday afternoon! 491 00:46:04,728 --> 00:46:08,391 - I put three of my best men on thejob. - No good. No good. 492 00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:10,698 Get back! 493 00:46:10,768 --> 00:46:12,861 Come on. boys. Come on. 494 00:46:14,505 --> 00:46:17,303 And don't bother sending a bill. either! 495 00:46:31,421 --> 00:46:32,854 Excuse me. 496 00:46:37,561 --> 00:46:40,155 Excuse me! I couldn't help noticing— 497 00:46:40,230 --> 00:46:42,323 Get on out of 'ere! 498 00:46:43,567 --> 00:46:46,092 I couldn't help noticing it would increase your efficiency... 499 00:46:46,170 --> 00:46:48,570 if you moved your box to here. 500 00:47:42,226 --> 00:47:44,922 - You— - Clumsy idiot! 501 00:47:44,995 --> 00:47:47,486 - Come on. Let's get out of here. - I was only trying to improve— 502 00:47:47,564 --> 00:47:50,328 - You did it beautifully. boy! - Was that me? 503 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,665 Come on! I'll buyyou a drink. 504 00:47:53,737 --> 00:47:55,671 We'll go to the Queen's Hemorrhoids. lad. 505 00:48:01,578 --> 00:48:03,944 - That better? - oh. yeah. 506 00:48:04,014 --> 00:48:07,006 - I can't remember when I ate last. - Yes. I know. 507 00:48:07,084 --> 00:48:09,985 I once went without food for 1 47 days. 508 00:48:10,053 --> 00:48:12,248 A hundred and forty-seven days? 509 00:48:12,322 --> 00:48:15,519 It was the winter of '52. the Siege of Caerlaverock. 510 00:48:15,592 --> 00:48:17,287 Food was so short— What's the matter? 511 00:48:17,361 --> 00:48:19,522 - You got a stomachache? - Oh. no. 512 00:48:19,596 --> 00:48:22,531 I was just trying to work out what my nut move would be. 513 00:48:22,599 --> 00:48:26,626 Sowas I. Ieez. whyworry? 514 00:48:26,703 --> 00:48:28,261 I've got toworry. 515 00:48:28,338 --> 00:48:31,466 It's a very big step coming fi'om a small village to a big city. 516 00:48:31,541 --> 00:48:35,341 Don't I know! That's what attracted me to the life of a squire. 517 00:48:35,412 --> 00:48:39,109 The traveling. One day you're out in Hartford hunting heretics... 518 00:48:39,182 --> 00:48:43,346 the nut day you're up in Scotland being burned at the stake. 519 00:48:43,420 --> 00:48:45,718 The adventure! 520 00:48:45,789 --> 00:48:48,417 Like the time me and my knights was fighting... 521 00:48:48,492 --> 00:48:50,426 the Blessed Sisters of St. Alopecia... 522 00:48:50,494 --> 00:48:52,689 a band of warrior nuns. 523 00:48:52,763 --> 00:48:54,754 - They really— - It sounds very uciting. 524 00:48:54,831 --> 00:48:57,322 But how secure is it? Now. you take coopering— 525 00:48:57,401 --> 00:49:00,165 Cooperi ng? Cooperi ng? 526 00:49:00,237 --> 00:49:02,637 Hell! That's no life for a man! 527 00:49:02,706 --> 00:49:06,005 It is too. Barrels and casks are very important. 528 00:49:06,076 --> 00:49:07,976 - Now. in commerce— - Commerce! 529 00:49:08,812 --> 00:49:12,543 Rubbish! Now you listen to me. 530 00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,811 My knight was wounded. see... 531 00:49:14,885 --> 00:49:17,217 and there was I with my back to the wall... 532 00:49:17,287 --> 00:49:20,518 two whacking great nuns coming at me with maces. 533 00:49:20,590 --> 00:49:23,150 I hardly think fighting nuns is a very respectable way— 534 00:49:23,226 --> 00:49:25,717 Here. I'll show you! Come here! 535 00:49:25,796 --> 00:49:28,492 Now you try. Come at me. Put up! 536 00:49:28,565 --> 00:49:30,499 Pretend that drumstick is a mace. 537 00:49:30,567 --> 00:49:32,899 Oh. come on! 538 00:49:32,970 --> 00:49:35,700 Really let me have it. 539 00:49:35,772 --> 00:49:38,206 - I can't. - Go for me! 540 00:49:38,275 --> 00:49:39,708 I deflected the mace! 541 00:49:42,579 --> 00:49:44,479 Then I grabbed her like this! 542 00:49:45,415 --> 00:49:47,508 - I want you to talk to the landlord. - What? 543 00:49:47,584 --> 00:49:50,849 Then I threw her again like this! 544 00:49:50,921 --> 00:49:53,515 - I want you to distract him. - What for? 545 00:49:53,590 --> 00:49:57,720 You berk! She was tough. see. but I grabbed her in the old— 546 00:49:57,794 --> 00:50:00,058 -just keep him talking. - I don't understand. 547 00:50:00,130 --> 00:50:03,463 You will.just do it! 548 00:50:03,533 --> 00:50:06,195 Now here comes the best part. 549 00:50:06,269 --> 00:50:09,067 She broke my grip. see. She was coming in for the kill. 550 00:50:09,139 --> 00:50:13,701 When I turned tail and ran for it. 551 00:50:13,777 --> 00:50:15,836 slamming shut the castle doors... 552 00:50:15,912 --> 00:50:20,076 I barred them with a lance. grabbing one of the novices as a hostage. 553 00:50:22,285 --> 00:50:25,379 I fought my way up to the battlements... 554 00:50:25,455 --> 00:50:27,821 hacking and slashing as I went. 555 00:50:27,891 --> 00:50:31,383 All in tears. in cuts! 556 00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:37,297 Easily outdistancing the enemy. I escaped.