1 00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:52,986 [Male Singer] % I have climbed the highest mountain % 2 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:57,324 % I have run through the fields % 3 00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:01,728 % Only to be with you % 4 00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:06,533 % Only to be with you % 5 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:11,905 % I have run, I have crawled % 6 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:16,543 % I have scaled these city walls % 7 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:21,048 % These city walls % 8 00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:25,719 % Only to be with you % 9 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:31,024 % But I still haven't found % 10 00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:34,528 % What I'm looking for % 11 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:40,033 % But I still haven't found % 12 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:43,103 % What I'm looking for % 13 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,274 [Man] Fisher, pick up. 14 00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:50,377 Fisher, it's me! Fisher, pick up! 15 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,680 I'm late, come on, come on. I need to bounce some ideas off you. 16 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,716 Mine are all boring, done it, been there. 17 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:56,850 Hey, Ike! 18 00:01:56,917 --> 00:02:00,087 When are you guys gonna stop waking me up every morning? 19 00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:02,556 When your column stops putting me to sleep. 20 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,259 - Funny, funny. - Yo, Jonah! 21 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,394 Fisher, come on! Are you really not there? 22 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,596 All right, cool. I'll talk to you later. 23 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,633 Excuse me. I'm thinking of doing an article about limousines. 24 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,769 What do you think about people who've never been in one? 25 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,638 I don't know people like that. 26 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:21,608 I need someone to bounce some ideas off of and get the juices flowing. 27 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,745 I got one hour, 27 minutes, 52 seconds. 28 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,780 Hey, Ike! When are you gonna put me in a column? 29 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,750 - When your T-shirts stop shrinking. - [Woman] Shrinks? 30 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,719 -Funny. He's kidding. He's just kidding. -Oh, forget it. 31 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,989 - Here, give me $5. Give me $2. - [Woman] No way. 32 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,992 Folks, I got nice shirts here. Look! 33 00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,295 "I love everybody. You're next." 34 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:44,565 %[Female Singing] 35 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,246 So what's in store for us in tomorrow's column? 36 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:02,015 [Groans] I don't know yet. 37 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:07,020 I'm, uh, kind of a last-minute man. 38 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:10,324 You know, till an hour or two before deadline, I don't get any ideas. 39 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:14,595 So you get your ideas for your column from life. 40 00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,597 Start up a conversation with a woman in a bar. 41 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:19,333 Attack her dart playing and try to get a rise out of her... 42 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:23,003 while you contemplate whether or not she's worth hitting on. 43 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:25,806 No, I can't hit on you till I get an idea. 44 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,641 Wh-- That's flattering. 45 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,043 [Ike] No, you don't understand. 46 00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:33,614 I understand. See, my not responding to you baiting me... 47 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:37,384 will inspire one of those bitter diatribes you like to write about women. 48 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,786 [Ike]I don't write bitter diatribes about women. 49 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:42,656 - Oh-ho. - Very often. I could. 50 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,559 Only when the ideas aren't flowing, huh? 51 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,694 It's so nice to meet you, one-minute man. 52 00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:50,731 It's last-minute man. 53 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:53,000 Whatever. 54 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,303 Want to hear something funny? For a good-looking guy, you strike out a lot. 55 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:59,406 - [Bartender] Have you noticed that? - [Phone Ringing] 56 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,842 - I bet it's your ex-wife. - [Man] Excuse me. 57 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,810 I've seen much worse. 58 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,580 [Bartender] No, Ike's not here. 59 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,716 I say, I've seen much worse. 60 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:12,319 - I'll tell him when he comes in. - Excuse me? 61 00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:15,255 The brush-off. 62 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:18,058 I've witnessed far more... 63 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,195 treacherous and nefarious exits than that. 64 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,765 At least she castigated you in private. 65 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:28,368 Not as private as I thought. Kevin, you got some napkins there? 66 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:32,272 - Wiping or writing? - I'll let you know. 67 00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:35,275 They love you. They hate you. 68 00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:37,878 They're hot. They're cold. They're high. 69 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,913 They're up. They're down. 70 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:43,584 This is fun making a list with you, but I do have a column to write. 71 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,452 Ike. 72 00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:49,556 But you have yet to find a really superb idea. 73 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:53,026 There's a girl from my hometown that you could write about. 74 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,028 Excuse me, but we don't need any ideas. 75 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:58,632 She likes to dump grooms at the altar. They call her the "Runaway Bride." 76 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:01,735 She's performed the travesty seven or eight times. 77 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,439 Turns around, runs like hell. Bolts. Adios. 78 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,141 Plows down the aisle, knocking old ladies out of her way... 79 00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:11,044 Like the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona. 80 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,580 And guess what! She's got the next victim all lined up. 81 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,783 She's turning another body on the spit. 82 00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:19,987 [Ike] Okay, Italics, here we go. 83 00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:26,660 [Ike's Voice] Today is a day of profound introspection. 84 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,596 I have been accused of using this column... 85 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:33,800 to direct bitter diatribes at the opposite sex. 86 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,970 This uncomfortable accusation... 87 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:41,241 has plunged me into at least 15 minutes of serious reflection, 88 00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,410 from which I have emerged... 89 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:48,782 with the conclusion that, yes, I traffic in female stereotypes. 90 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:54,321 "But how can one blame me when every time I step out my front door, 91 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:58,525 I meet fresh proof that the female archetypes are alive and well." 92 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:02,129 "The mother, the virgin, the whore, the crone." 93 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:05,098 "They're elbowing you in the subway, stealing your cabs, 94 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,835 and overwhelming you with perfume in elevators." 95 00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,870 "But perhaps in fairness to the fairer sex, 96 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:14,141 I do need to broaden my horizon and add some new goddesses to the pantheon." 97 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:18,178 "I would like to nominate for deity the cheerleader, the coed... 98 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:21,281 and the man-eater, the last of which concerns me most today." 99 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:24,718 "In ancient Greece, this fearsome female was known as Erinys, 100 00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,787 the devouring death goddess." 101 00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,522 "In India, she is Kali, 102 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,058 who likes to devour her boyfriend Shiva's entrails..." 103 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,861 "while her yoni devours his dot, dot, dot... never mind." 104 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:38,999 "In Indonesia, the bloody-jawed man-eater is called Ragma." 105 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,469 You notice these are all countries without cable. 106 00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,905 "And in Hale, Maryland, 107 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:47,140 where she helps run the family hardware store, 108 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:51,879 she is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter, a.k.a. the Runaway Bride." 109 00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:54,815 "What is unusual about Miss Carpenter... 110 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:59,353 is that she likes to dress her men up as grooms before she devours them." 111 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:04,258 One antique hot-water handle with the "hot" still on it. 112 00:07:04,358 --> 00:07:07,094 Guaranteed to fit any American Standard cast-iron tub... 113 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:11,765 with a four-inch center mount made between 1924 and 1938. 114 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,901 In other words, Mr. Paxton, 115 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,036 I think you are out of the doghouse with Mrs. Paxton. 116 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,070 Hallelujah! 117 00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:18,872 I'll see you later. I'll put it on your charge. 118 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:23,277 There's a possibility she hasn't seen this yet. 119 00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:27,281 Maybe she just hasn't picked up a paper. Know what I mean? 120 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:30,184 - Or not. - [Man]Maggie? 121 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,920 Earl, you don't need an air-conditioner. You need an attic fan. 122 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:36,056 There's more in the back. Hey. 123 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,128 What? 124 00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:44,298 So, Mag, you've seen this, huh? 125 00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:46,300 Yes, I've seen it. 126 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,136 And it is the rudest, 127 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,738 most offensive... 128 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:55,108 joke anyone has ever played on me! 129 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,078 You guys, how long did this take you? Where did you get it done? 130 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,380 You're both creeps, by the way. I should "disinvite" you. 131 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:05,719 Maggie, you told us no bachelorette jokes, so we didn't-- 132 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:14,795 Holy moly. 133 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,600 - Bag. Bag! - She's going. She's gonna go! 134 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:23,403 Here's the bag. Breathe! 135 00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,139 [Female Singer] % Ready, ready, ready, ready % 136 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,308 % Ready to run % 137 00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:31,778 % All I'm ready to do is have some fun % 138 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,313 [Barks] 139 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:39,653 % What's all this talk about love % 140 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:42,256 [Grunting] 141 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,160 [Radio] On the local front, our town of Hale, Maryland, 142 00:08:47,261 --> 00:08:49,696 is still buzzing about the less-than-flattering article... 143 00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,399 about their native daughter, Maggie Carpenter. 144 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,601 Her bridal exploits were taken to task... 145 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:57,271 by New York columnist Ike Graham in USA Today. 146 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,439 - Mr. Graham called her-- - [Radio Off] 147 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,976 [Maggie's Voice] Dear Editor: Greetings from the sticks. 148 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:07,014 Perhaps you believe that a rural education is focused mainly... 149 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:11,318 on hog calling and tractor maintenance rather than reading. 150 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,353 Why else would you print a piece of fiction about me and call it fact? 151 00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,222 Why else would you print a piece of fiction about me and call it fact? 152 00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:21,295 I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy thinking up slanderous statements... 153 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,363 about how I dump men for kicks... 154 00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:26,233 to bother with something silly like accuracy in reporting. 155 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:29,236 Which is understandable, because with a man-eater like me on the loose, 156 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,238 who has time to check facts? 157 00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:34,174 - Hey, Frances, lunch today? - No, I'm going to the bank. 158 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,176 - Sure? - Sorry, Ike. 159 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,479 - All right. Hey. - Hey. 160 00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,682 I'm going to put in a good word for you. 161 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:42,883 Don't mention my name. 162 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,918 [Maggie's Voice] That's why I was surprised to find... 163 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,254 Mr. Graham's editor was a woman. 164 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:50,591 Call me a sentimental fool, but I hoped we man-eaters could stick together. 165 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:53,160 "Anyway, I'm just dropping you big-city folk this little note... 166 00:09:53,227 --> 00:09:55,729 to say that I have thought of a ritual sacrifice..." 167 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,831 "that would satisfy my current appetite: 168 00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,234 "Ike Graham's column on a platter." 169 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,569 "Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter. P.S. 170 00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:06,240 "I have enclosed a list of gross factual misrepresentations in your article. 171 00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:08,909 There are fifteen." 172 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,945 [Ike] Funny. I like her. 173 00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,581 She's got spunk. 174 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:18,252 Ike, look. She sent us this list. Our lawyers say it's actionable. 175 00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:20,420 [Sighs] 176 00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,856 I left you four messages. You don't return my calls. 177 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:25,792 I never returned your calls. Even when we were married I didn't-- 178 00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:30,697 -What's Fisher doing here? -Ellie asked me to offer moral support. 179 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,767 Since when does Ellie need moral support? 180 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,236 It's for you, Ike. 181 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,774 What? What? 182 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,943 Journalism lesson number one: 183 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:46,113 If you fabricate your facts, you get fired. 184 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:49,616 Lesson number two: Never work for your former spouse. 185 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:54,288 That has nothing to do with it. You cooked this story up, and you know it! 186 00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:56,390 I did not cook anything up. I had a source. 187 00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,725 Someone reliable? Some boozehound in a bar? 188 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,227 In vino veritas. 189 00:11:00,294 --> 00:11:04,798 Hey, hey, hey. Don't knock drunk guys in bars. It means they're not driving. 190 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,800 Besides, lam a columnist. 191 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,636 This is what columnists are supposed to do. 192 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:13,574 It's what you like. We push, we stretch, we go out on a limb. 193 00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,275 That's what makes me good! 194 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:18,679 No, that's what makes you unemployed. 195 00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:24,484 All right. Let's consider that my wrist has been slapped. 196 00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:27,521 There. Slap it. Go ahead, just-- 197 00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:30,190 Slap my wrist. That's done. 198 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:35,762 Just give me a call when you feel that I've served my time, and move on. 199 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:41,201 This is permanent, Ike. 200 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:46,039 If you go quietly, I'll get you severance pay. 201 00:11:55,649 --> 00:11:57,618 [Secretary] I'm sorry, Ike. 202 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,855 [Train Whistle Blowing] 203 00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,159 [Crossing Bell Ringing] 204 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:25,579 - [Maggie]Bob? Honey? - In the kitchen! 205 00:12:25,646 --> 00:12:27,581 Honey, she canned him! Honey? 206 00:12:27,648 --> 00:12:30,417 Bob, she canned him! 207 00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:33,487 - Yea! What are you talking about? - Listen, it's in the paper. 208 00:12:33,554 --> 00:12:35,556 - Try this on first. - Okay. 209 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,991 I wanna read it to you, so come over this way. 210 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,260 Ready? "Dear Maggie Carpenter: 211 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,664 I apologize to you for this unfortunate matter.'' 212 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:48,735 Here it is. "Ike Graham's column will no longer be appearing in this paper. 213 00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:51,104 Best of luck in your upcoming marriage." 214 00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:54,408 Okay, this is the weight of the pack you'll be carrying in the Himalayas. 215 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:58,412 - You let me know if it's too heavy. - Okay. Whoa! 216 00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:02,449 A little... yeah. Yeah, a little heavy, baby. [Laughing] 217 00:13:02,516 --> 00:13:04,785 [Screams, Laughs] 218 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:13,227 [Phone Rings, Message Machine] Hi, it's me. Leave a message after the beep. 219 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,963 If you want to leave a fax, buy me a fax machine. 220 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,432 [Beeps] Ike, Fisher. 221 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:23,203 Get up. I can turn this Runaway Bride story around. 222 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:26,607 I'm doing a photo spread for G.Q. today by the convey or belt. 223 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,076 Meet me. I'll save your tush. 224 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:32,546 And since I do freelance stuff for G.Q. now, I have an idea. 225 00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:35,148 - What are you saying? - Vindication. 226 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,284 How would you like some? 227 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,787 A chance to prove that although your story wasn't entirely factual, 228 00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:43,457 your theory was correct. 229 00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:47,628 - The real story on Miss Carpenter. - All the gory details. 230 00:13:47,728 --> 00:13:49,663 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 231 00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:52,933 [Fisher] And if she runs again, you got a cover story. 232 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:57,171 [Male Singers] % Oh, here she comes % 233 00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:59,640 % Watch out, boy she'll chew you up % 234 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,109 % Oh, here she comes % 235 00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:05,012 % She's a man-eater % 236 00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:08,015 % Oh, here she comes % 237 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,651 % Watch out, boy she'll chew you up % 238 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,853 % Oh, here she comes % 239 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,822 % She's a man-eater % 240 00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:18,425 % She'll only come out at night % 241 00:14:18,492 --> 00:14:21,428 % The lean and hungry type % 242 00:14:21,495 --> 00:14:25,165 % Nothing is new I've seen her here before % 243 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:29,603 % Watching and waiting % 244 00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:34,675 % She's seated with you but here yes are on the door % 245 00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:39,680 % I wouldn't if I were you % 246 00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:42,683 % I know what she can do % 247 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:48,288 %She's deadly, man She could really rip your world apart % 248 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,657 % Mind over matter % 249 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:55,529 % Oh, the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart % 250 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,065 Here you go. Right upstairs to the left. 251 00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,067 Thanks. How late's the restaurant open? 252 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,537 - 8:30 every night. - [Chuckles] That late, huh? 253 00:15:12,546 --> 00:15:15,415 [Maggie] Cindy, can you eighty-six Sprout? 254 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,752 He's licking up all the petroleum distillates I'm trying to put in. 255 00:15:18,852 --> 00:15:21,321 Oh, sorry. She's an obedience school dropout. 256 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:25,225 - [Sprout Barks] - Have a seat. 257 00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:30,264 % [Barbershop Quartet Vocalizing] % 258 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,399 [Applause] 259 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:36,937 Thank you. We'll see you, ladies and gentlemen, in the hotel on the weekend. 260 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,383 You're a goddess. You're a goddess! 261 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:53,520 [Into Tape Recorder] Shazam! I think I'm in Mayberry. 262 00:15:53,587 --> 00:15:56,790 [Maggie]I didn't have to change a gasket, just put in new hydraulic fluid. 263 00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:59,426 [Woman] Stop it! When you talk like that, it turns me on and frightens me. 264 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:04,097 - Oh, you turn a girl's head. - [Laughing] Whoa! 265 00:16:04,198 --> 00:16:07,534 Excuse me. Hello? 266 00:16:07,601 --> 00:16:09,803 Excuse me. Could you help-- I'm looking for Maggie Carpenter. 267 00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:14,374 There was a, uh, note on the door of the hardware store across the street. 268 00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,476 - Are you a reporter? - What? 269 00:16:16,577 --> 00:16:18,579 It's just been our experience that... 270 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,481 anyone who comes in here with tassels on his loafers... 271 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:26,220 is a big-city reporter wanting to do an interview with Maggie. 272 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,288 About her upcoming wedding and all. 273 00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:33,460 Actually about her getting that asshole from New York fired. 274 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:38,398 I am just such a reporter. And who are you? 275 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:42,903 - Peggy Flemming. Not the ice skater. - [Laughs] 276 00:16:42,970 --> 00:16:44,972 [Peggy] Come in, come in. 277 00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:47,307 [Ike] Who are these lovely ladies? 278 00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:50,344 Hi. I'm Cindy. Maggie's unmarried cousin. 279 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:53,146 Mrs. Pressman. No relation. Oh, sorry. 280 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:55,182 [Peggy] And you are? 281 00:16:55,249 --> 00:16:58,519 Looking... for Maggie. 282 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:01,255 Maggie, someone to see you. 283 00:17:09,363 --> 00:17:14,835 I hope you've got a new angle because it's all pretty much been covered. 284 00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:16,970 Hold on. No one interviews Maggie in here without a haircut. 285 00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,473 Sorry, no. Just got one. 286 00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:22,809 [Mrs. Pressman] Excuse me, sir, I have a fact for you. 287 00:17:22,843 --> 00:17:26,647 - This is an actual fact. - Yes, Mrs. Pressman? 288 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,550 This is actually her fourth wedding, not her seventh like they said. 289 00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:32,686 [Ike] I know. Tell me something. Do you think she's... 290 00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:35,789 - gonna make it all the way this time? - I don't know. 291 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,692 [Gasps] 292 00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:42,563 She swallowed her gum. She does that. 293 00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:47,501 Mr. Schulian, he runs the newsstand. He's also our local bookie. 294 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,503 He's given eight-to-one odds that she won't. 295 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:51,839 Okay. 296 00:17:51,872 --> 00:17:54,741 Instead of a haircut, how 'bout a wash? 297 00:17:54,842 --> 00:17:56,910 Get all that city grit out of your hair. 298 00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:58,912 You'll answer my questions? 299 00:17:59,012 --> 00:18:00,914 Mm-hmm. 300 00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:04,484 Fine! You wash, I'll ask. 301 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:07,187 So, what do you want to know? 302 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:09,189 When is the big day? 303 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:13,260 - A week from Sunday. - Let's put this here like this... 304 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:16,363 because this aroma therapy can get a little strong. 305 00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:18,699 The lavender, we don't want to put you to sleep. 306 00:18:18,732 --> 00:18:20,234 [Ike] You nervous? 307 00:18:20,334 --> 00:18:22,936 I've never been more certain of anything in my life. 308 00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:26,740 Except I've been having all kinds of weird dreams. 309 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,576 Mm-hmm. Would you like to tell me about 'em? 310 00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,578 Yeah, sure. 311 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:35,282 - [Maggie] And another one. - Pete, I'll be right with ya. 312 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:38,519 [Maggie] I go inside the church and everyone I know is there. 313 00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:43,056 The creepiest part is I look down at my dress, and it's red! 314 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:46,293 I don't know what that means. Red is not my color. 315 00:18:48,262 --> 00:18:50,230 What do you think? 316 00:18:50,264 --> 00:18:52,766 - I think you'd look good in red. - No, no. 317 00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:58,205 She means about your hair. 318 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,975 [Peggy Chuckles] 319 00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:09,383 My jacket, please. 320 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,052 Thank you. 321 00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:17,457 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where I can get some shampoo? Strong shampoo? 322 00:19:17,558 --> 00:19:21,295 Doc's pharmacy. Third and Elm. Tell 'em Pete sent ya. 323 00:19:21,395 --> 00:19:23,330 You want my hat? 324 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:27,267 No, no, I'm fine. You might need it. 325 00:19:34,942 --> 00:19:39,313 Mr. Graham, if you're looking for Elm Street, it's that way. 326 00:19:39,413 --> 00:19:41,582 Thank you. 327 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:44,618 If you came down here in the pursuit of happiness, you might as well go back... 328 00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,753 because you can't make me feel bad. 329 00:19:46,787 --> 00:19:50,991 I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm here for vindication. 330 00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:54,161 In my heart, I feel I'm right about you. 331 00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,829 Mmm. 332 00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:57,965 You got me fired, lady. 333 00:19:58,031 --> 00:20:02,803 You destroyed my reputation, and you screwed up my hair. 334 00:20:02,836 --> 00:20:05,806 You chew up men, spit 'em out and love it. 335 00:20:05,873 --> 00:20:09,042 You're gonna do the same thing to this poor schmuck number four... 336 00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:11,612 that you did to the previous three. 337 00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:13,614 You're gonna run again. 338 00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,883 And I'm not leaving until you do. 339 00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:21,688 I'd love to stay and chat, but I still have my job. 340 00:20:28,529 --> 00:20:31,064 Hey, kid, kid, kid, wait a minute. 341 00:20:31,164 --> 00:20:33,133 - Give you ten bucks for the hat. - Sure! 342 00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:35,802 That's right. 343 00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,675 Sheesh. 344 00:20:49,183 --> 00:20:51,185 [Bob Chuckles] 345 00:20:51,218 --> 00:20:54,388 I'm telling you, that is a photo opportunity. 346 00:20:54,488 --> 00:20:58,091 When I only see one dog, I know I've had too much to drink. 347 00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:01,929 Hey, you'll never guess... 348 00:21:02,029 --> 00:21:06,400 who came crawling into town with his tail between his legs. 349 00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:08,402 [Walter] Who? 350 00:21:08,502 --> 00:21:10,571 Hello, Maggie. 351 00:21:10,671 --> 00:21:14,208 [Ike] I just came over to apologize to your family. 352 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:16,543 When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. 353 00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:19,379 I pushed a story. I made a mistake. 354 00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:24,718 In other words, he's only human. And he brought us a bottle of wine. 355 00:21:24,785 --> 00:21:28,589 -Made me put my hat back on. -Yeah. It scared the hell outta Skipper. 356 00:21:28,689 --> 00:21:30,357 [Barks] 357 00:21:30,424 --> 00:21:32,626 You've gotta be kidding me. 358 00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:35,062 No, no. You should've seen Skipper. He was like-- [Barks] 359 00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:39,366 [Howls] 360 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,470 It wasn't that... funny. 361 00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:46,406 Actually, it's been quite amusing. 362 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,277 Walter, here, has been sharing his father of the bride wedding memories. 363 00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:52,946 You know what? 364 00:21:53,046 --> 00:21:56,950 I think I'll take this to the kitchen. [Mouthing Words] 365 00:21:57,050 --> 00:22:00,888 I'll help you bring it in... to the kitchen. 366 00:22:00,921 --> 00:22:03,156 - Check on the crabs, Bob. - Okay. 367 00:22:03,257 --> 00:22:05,592 -[Whispers] Is he staying for dinner? -I don't know. 368 00:22:05,626 --> 00:22:09,296 I hope they don't have a fight. You don't think they'd call it off, do you? 369 00:22:09,396 --> 00:22:13,767 Wedding cake freezes. This we know. [Chuckles] 370 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:18,305 - You know, your daughter is such-- - [Gasps] Oh, I'm sorry. 371 00:22:18,405 --> 00:22:20,974 No, no, that's all right, Grandma. That's fine. 372 00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:23,010 She's such a lovely girl. 373 00:22:23,110 --> 00:22:25,946 Yeah. Well, like her mother. Look. 374 00:22:26,013 --> 00:22:28,315 May she rest in peace. 375 00:22:28,415 --> 00:22:31,285 We were all so proud of Maggie when she was in school. 376 00:22:31,318 --> 00:22:34,821 She won that American Legion scholarship to college. 377 00:22:34,922 --> 00:22:36,657 She studied industrial design. 378 00:22:36,757 --> 00:22:40,494 I can't see her leaving multiple grooms in the dust like that. 379 00:22:40,594 --> 00:22:43,497 Oh, yes, you can. She's got it all on tape. 380 00:22:44,798 --> 00:22:48,635 - Tape? - Yeah, they're all right there. 381 00:22:48,669 --> 00:22:50,971 You got tapes of the wedding? 382 00:22:51,004 --> 00:22:53,106 Lee, at the hotel, videos weddings. 383 00:22:53,173 --> 00:22:58,378 Course Maggie didn't know she was gonna be running the 100-yarddash. 384 00:22:58,478 --> 00:23:02,149 - I gotta say, she makes real good time. - Bingo! 385 00:23:02,216 --> 00:23:04,852 Maggie may not be Hale's longest running joke, 386 00:23:04,952 --> 00:23:06,854 but she is certainly the fastest. 387 00:23:06,954 --> 00:23:09,690 Ha, ha. 388 00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:15,662 Maggie's mom and I were only blessed with one child, 389 00:23:15,696 --> 00:23:17,698 not for a lack of trying. 390 00:23:17,798 --> 00:23:19,800 This is good, Dad. Don't leave anything out. 391 00:23:20,868 --> 00:23:22,870 I consider it a bonus... 392 00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:25,639 [Skipper Barks] 393 00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:29,309 that I'm actually able to plan and pay for so many weddings. 394 00:23:29,376 --> 00:23:31,712 Not this one. This one's on me. 395 00:23:31,812 --> 00:23:34,414 Oh! That's fair. 396 00:23:34,515 --> 00:23:38,685 I don't do it on purpose, and I have no intentions of doing it again. 397 00:23:38,752 --> 00:23:41,588 That's right, Maggie. Just keep your eye on the ball. 398 00:23:43,857 --> 00:23:46,093 Sports psychology. 399 00:23:46,193 --> 00:23:51,698 Bob is the head of the P.E. department at the high school. 400 00:23:51,765 --> 00:23:55,435 And he coaches the football team. And he's climbed Everest. 401 00:23:57,538 --> 00:24:00,274 - Everest? Is it true? - [Maggie] Twice. 402 00:24:00,374 --> 00:24:02,109 Without oxygen. 403 00:24:02,209 --> 00:24:05,345 - My girl, she likes to brag about me. - I do. 404 00:24:06,446 --> 00:24:09,516 Maggie's training for our wedding night. 405 00:24:09,583 --> 00:24:12,186 I'm taking her trekking on Annapurna for our honeymoon. 406 00:24:12,252 --> 00:24:15,455 - Oh, how romantic! - We think so. 407 00:24:15,556 --> 00:24:19,960 Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed with two Sherpas and a yak. 408 00:24:20,060 --> 00:24:22,296 [Laughing] 409 00:24:24,765 --> 00:24:27,768 Hey, Ike, how's it going? 410 00:24:27,868 --> 00:24:31,572 You won't believe what I'm looking at here. I got a video... 411 00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:33,574 of all three train wrecks. 412 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:37,945 [Chavez] Here's my bride, who's my pride. 413 00:24:38,045 --> 00:24:40,480 I'll never hide when she's by my side. 414 00:24:40,581 --> 00:24:43,083 This is for you, Maggie, my "Sugar Magnolia." 415 00:24:43,150 --> 00:24:48,589 [Ike] You want the truth? You want the facts? I got 'em. 416 00:24:53,093 --> 00:24:55,262 I'll send you a copy of the notes. 417 00:24:55,329 --> 00:24:57,464 Good weekend reading for you. 418 00:24:57,564 --> 00:24:59,433 Love to Ellie. Okay, bye. 419 00:25:01,735 --> 00:25:03,837 [Male Singer] % Sweet blossom come on % 420 00:25:03,971 --> 00:25:05,239 % Under the willow % 421 00:25:05,305 --> 00:25:07,975 % We can have high times if you'll abide % 422 00:25:08,075 --> 00:25:10,811 % We can discover the wonders of nature % 423 00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:15,983 % Rolling in the rushes down by the riverside % 424 00:25:17,518 --> 00:25:19,953 % She's got everything delightful % 425 00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:22,923 % She's got everything I need % 426 00:25:22,990 --> 00:25:26,159 % Takes the wheel when I'm seeing double % 427 00:25:26,260 --> 00:25:28,795 % Pays my ticket when I speed % 428 00:25:30,998 --> 00:25:32,933 [Music Stops] 429 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,003 Okay, preacher man, let's go! 430 00:25:36,036 --> 00:25:39,673 -[Chavez] Maggie, where're you goin'? -[Maggie] Sam! 431 00:25:39,706 --> 00:25:43,043 -[Maggie]Sam. Get back on the bike. -Okay. How was the wedding? 432 00:25:43,143 --> 00:25:46,947 Shorter than we planned. Just go. 433 00:25:47,014 --> 00:25:49,850 [Chavez] Okay, peace, baby. 434 00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:53,720 [Video Fast-Forwarding] 435 00:25:53,820 --> 00:25:55,822 %[Organ] 436 00:26:16,043 --> 00:26:19,646 [Female Singer] % ["Ave Maria"] 437 00:26:32,593 --> 00:26:36,430 [Concerned Murmuring] 438 00:26:36,530 --> 00:26:40,234 -[Man] Where is she going? -[Woman] Look, she's leaving. 439 00:26:40,267 --> 00:26:44,438 - [Woman #2] She forgot her purse. - No, she didn't forget her purse. 440 00:26:44,538 --> 00:26:47,207 [Walter] Go after her! Do something! 441 00:26:50,611 --> 00:26:52,913 [Chuckles] I don't believe this. 442 00:27:14,935 --> 00:27:17,638 [Minister] Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today-- 443 00:27:17,738 --> 00:27:20,274 [Whinnies] 444 00:27:20,374 --> 00:27:24,711 Could we hold the horse, please? What's wrong with the horse? 445 00:27:24,778 --> 00:27:28,382 The horse seems more jittery than the bride. 446 00:27:55,309 --> 00:27:56,977 I like the white tuxedo. 447 00:27:57,010 --> 00:27:59,313 Yeah, but he's no good 'cause he's too blond. 448 00:27:59,413 --> 00:28:02,516 All right. Then we just go with something very traditional. 449 00:28:02,616 --> 00:28:06,653 He's handsome. Maybe a little too dark for Bob. 450 00:28:06,687 --> 00:28:10,157 Yeah, but he's got the "Bobster's" eyes. 451 00:28:10,190 --> 00:28:13,660 No, no, no, no. The Bobster's eyes are closer set. Yeah. 452 00:28:13,694 --> 00:28:15,929 - Hello! Hi. - Hi. 453 00:28:15,996 --> 00:28:19,132 -Could I have two cups of coffee? And-- -Yes. 454 00:28:19,199 --> 00:28:21,935 [Sniffs] Mmm. What is that wonderful smell? 455 00:28:22,002 --> 00:28:24,538 Oh, the cinnamon rolls! 456 00:28:24,638 --> 00:28:26,974 - Could I have two of those? Thank you. - Yeah, sure. 457 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,477 Okay. Uh, Maggie, I think this makes the best you. 458 00:28:30,644 --> 00:28:32,112 [Whispering] Okay. 459 00:28:32,179 --> 00:28:37,150 Oh, let's see. Look at that. 460 00:28:37,217 --> 00:28:39,286 Excuse me. 461 00:28:39,353 --> 00:28:43,056 Oh, look at that. 462 00:28:43,156 --> 00:28:45,826 Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! 463 00:28:45,893 --> 00:28:50,531 Ow, ow, ow! Help me! Help me! 464 00:28:50,564 --> 00:28:53,467 [Sighs] Yep, that'd be her. 465 00:28:55,068 --> 00:28:57,871 You must be that Mr. Graham fella. 466 00:28:57,905 --> 00:29:00,040 - Yes, I am! And you are? - [Laughing] 467 00:29:00,073 --> 00:29:02,976 - I'm Betty Trout. - Hi, Betty! 468 00:29:03,043 --> 00:29:06,380 Okay, I guess you'll be the one making the cake. 469 00:29:06,413 --> 00:29:08,248 Yes, I am. Sure. 470 00:29:08,348 --> 00:29:11,185 I'm also told that you will be throwing-- 471 00:29:11,251 --> 00:29:13,887 I'm throwing the luau for Maggie. 472 00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:16,723 Pre-wedding luau! 473 00:29:16,823 --> 00:29:18,926 If you're still in town, you should stop by. 474 00:29:19,026 --> 00:29:20,994 No, no, he doesn't want to come. 475 00:29:21,061 --> 00:29:23,096 I'd love to come. [Bell Rings] 476 00:29:23,197 --> 00:29:25,832 I will be there. Thank you. 477 00:29:25,899 --> 00:29:29,903 Is that what you're going to do now? Follow me around everywhere I go? 478 00:29:30,003 --> 00:29:31,171 No. 479 00:29:31,238 --> 00:29:34,341 I'll be back, Betty. 480 00:29:34,408 --> 00:29:37,277 Bye, Mr. Graham. 481 00:29:37,344 --> 00:29:39,680 - He's not a nice person. - Well, I know. 482 00:29:39,746 --> 00:29:43,383 That's my pick. The eyes are perfect. 483 00:29:43,450 --> 00:29:47,721 [Cheerleaders] We always win. We never fail. 484 00:29:47,788 --> 00:29:52,226 We're the Comets, so go to Hale! % Let's go, Comets % 485 00:29:52,292 --> 00:29:55,963 % Let's go Let's go, Comets, let's go % 486 00:29:56,063 --> 00:29:59,032 - Hi, Miss Carpenter. - Hey, Kendall. 487 00:30:00,434 --> 00:30:05,239 Maggie, don't marry Coach. Marry me. I love you. 488 00:30:05,305 --> 00:30:10,110 You're jail bait, Dennis. Go away. Go away. Run your laps. Go, go! 489 00:30:10,143 --> 00:30:14,381 [Bob] Drive, drive, drive! From the hips! 490 00:30:14,448 --> 00:30:16,617 Keep it low now, keep it low! 491 00:30:16,717 --> 00:30:20,320 [Whistle Blows] Good job, gentlemen. All right, special teams. 492 00:30:20,420 --> 00:30:22,990 Special teams. 493 00:30:23,090 --> 00:30:25,959 - Hey, honey, how are you? - Good. 494 00:30:25,993 --> 00:30:28,829 What is he up to now? 495 00:30:28,929 --> 00:30:31,164 Ike just dropped by to check out the team. 496 00:30:31,265 --> 00:30:32,933 And to talk about you! 497 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,801 - Ahh! - Yes! 498 00:30:34,902 --> 00:30:37,337 You aren't making friends with this man, are you? 499 00:30:37,404 --> 00:30:40,774 I'm just bragging about how good you are. 500 00:30:40,841 --> 00:30:44,278 - And how I'm the luckiest man alive. - Mm-hmm! 501 00:30:45,445 --> 00:30:47,147 Sweetie. 502 00:30:47,181 --> 00:30:50,684 Well, I better be moving. 503 00:30:50,784 --> 00:30:53,187 Got a lot of work to do today. 504 00:30:53,253 --> 00:30:55,656 - See you two lovebirds later. - See you at the weddin'. 505 00:30:55,689 --> 00:30:59,626 - Yeah. Thanks for the jacket. - You invited him to the wedding? 506 00:30:59,693 --> 00:31:03,697 % Go, go, Comets Let's go % 507 00:31:03,797 --> 00:31:05,999 Don't you realize he's writing another article about me? 508 00:31:06,033 --> 00:31:06,867 Sure. 509 00:31:06,967 --> 00:31:12,639 But you're not runnin'. Come on. Give me some of that homemade sunshine. 510 00:31:12,706 --> 00:31:17,444 Boys, take my princess for a ride on her chariot. 511 00:31:17,511 --> 00:31:19,346 Oh, my-- [Laughing] 512 00:31:25,719 --> 00:31:27,988 Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. 513 00:31:28,055 --> 00:31:32,526 My last confession was-- Well, anyway. 514 00:31:32,626 --> 00:31:35,362 I have sort of a technical question. 515 00:31:35,462 --> 00:31:38,498 I've been having bad thoughts. 516 00:31:38,565 --> 00:31:41,401 Reallybadthoughts. 517 00:31:41,502 --> 00:31:44,371 - Of an impure nature? - No, no. 518 00:31:44,404 --> 00:31:50,344 I want to destroy this man's life, career, everything. I want revenge! 519 00:31:50,410 --> 00:31:53,747 Now, on the sin scale, howbadis that? 520 00:31:53,847 --> 00:31:57,150 Can I... "Hail Mary" my way out of that? 521 00:31:57,217 --> 00:32:00,754 -My child, any sin in one's heart is a-- -The name is Maggie. 522 00:32:00,854 --> 00:32:03,390 It was this side of ten years ago you had your tongue down my throat. 523 00:32:03,490 --> 00:32:06,527 So don't "my child" me, Brian, okay? It annoys me. 524 00:32:06,593 --> 00:32:08,996 Maggie, don't get so upset. 525 00:32:09,062 --> 00:32:12,232 Hey, hey! Don't-- Brian, talk to me. I need to talk to you. 526 00:32:12,332 --> 00:32:13,834 Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. 527 00:32:13,901 --> 00:32:16,570 You're not even Catholic so you really shouldn't be here. 528 00:32:16,670 --> 00:32:20,607 I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed out about this slimeball reporter. 529 00:32:20,674 --> 00:32:23,610 And I wanted to come and tell you that he might stop by here... 530 00:32:23,677 --> 00:32:26,013 and ask you all kinds of ridiculous questions. 531 00:32:26,079 --> 00:32:29,049 Well, he only actually asked me one ridiculous question. 532 00:32:29,116 --> 00:32:31,084 The rest weren't so bad. 533 00:32:31,118 --> 00:32:34,788 What? Oh, you talked to him? 534 00:32:34,888 --> 00:32:38,225 Did you tell him we dated before you were a priest? 535 00:32:38,292 --> 00:32:41,795 Of course. I think I only did you good. 536 00:32:41,895 --> 00:32:44,131 W-What exactly did he ask? 537 00:32:44,231 --> 00:32:47,768 - Am I too late, Father? - No, no. 538 00:32:47,801 --> 00:32:51,305 - It won't take long. Just two venials. - Okay. 539 00:32:51,405 --> 00:32:53,874 Um, just respectful things. 540 00:32:53,941 --> 00:32:57,277 What kind of music did you like? What did we have in common? 541 00:32:57,377 --> 00:33:01,448 Did you ruin my life when you left me at the altar? 542 00:33:01,548 --> 00:33:03,984 Uh, what did you say? 543 00:33:04,084 --> 00:33:06,553 I said, you know, how could I be angry... 544 00:33:06,620 --> 00:33:11,625 when this is clearly as God intended for it to be for me? 545 00:33:11,758 --> 00:33:14,094 Good one! Thanks. 546 00:33:14,161 --> 00:33:19,066 But, actually, it's, it's really, really how I feel. 547 00:33:21,735 --> 00:33:23,136 Of course. God, yes. 548 00:33:23,237 --> 00:33:25,239 Not... [Whispers] God. 549 00:33:25,305 --> 00:33:26,773 [Whispers] Sorry. 550 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,076 I better go. The man is a lunatic. 551 00:33:29,142 --> 00:33:31,979 But I think I know exactly where he's going next. 552 00:33:32,079 --> 00:33:33,981 [Whispering] God bless. 553 00:33:35,415 --> 00:33:37,651 Oh! Purse. 554 00:33:37,751 --> 00:33:40,787 Forgot my purse. 555 00:33:40,854 --> 00:33:43,190 Hi, sorry. Purse. 556 00:33:43,290 --> 00:33:45,492 Good luck. 557 00:33:45,592 --> 00:33:48,295 What was the one ridiculous question that he asked? 558 00:33:48,362 --> 00:33:51,465 He wanted to know how you liked your eggs. 559 00:33:51,532 --> 00:33:53,333 Oh, weird. 560 00:33:53,433 --> 00:33:55,536 Like a person's gonna remember after all this time. 561 00:33:55,636 --> 00:33:59,606 Scrambled with salt, pepper and dill. Same as me. 562 00:34:03,710 --> 00:34:06,046 I'm sorry I hurt you, Brian. 563 00:34:07,681 --> 00:34:11,852 Maggie, I'm happy now... here. It's where I'm supposed to be. 564 00:34:11,952 --> 00:34:16,323 But... if you ever do decide to become a Catholic, will you do me this favor? 565 00:34:16,390 --> 00:34:18,325 Confess to Father Patrick. 566 00:34:18,392 --> 00:34:20,994 Of course. 567 00:34:35,809 --> 00:34:38,345 - Gill? Lydia? - Mags! 568 00:34:38,412 --> 00:34:41,181 Hey, look, the tape. Remember? 569 00:34:41,248 --> 00:34:43,217 Radio City Music Hall concert... 570 00:34:43,317 --> 00:34:46,253 when Jerry was on "Ripple," and I'm going like, "Dude, let me jam." 571 00:34:46,353 --> 00:34:48,388 - Gill, listen-- - I'll play it for you. 572 00:34:48,488 --> 00:34:51,391 - You remember, Maggie. You were there. - Can you focus on me? 573 00:34:51,491 --> 00:34:54,228 There's this reporter who's making my life a living hell. 574 00:34:54,328 --> 00:34:55,662 Okay. 575 00:34:55,729 --> 00:34:58,365 And whatever you do, 576 00:34:58,432 --> 00:35:02,369 do not show him that picture of me from the concert in San Francisco. 577 00:35:02,436 --> 00:35:04,505 - Okay? Can you-- - [Ike Laughing] 578 00:35:04,571 --> 00:35:08,942 - What is that? - Uh-- Wait. San Francisco? 579 00:35:09,042 --> 00:35:11,578 But we went there a few times. There's a lot of pictures. 580 00:35:11,678 --> 00:35:14,681 Which picture? Because one time we had a flat tire. Remember? 581 00:35:14,748 --> 00:35:16,416 Imagine! 582 00:35:16,517 --> 00:35:21,922 Maggie Carpenter topless in a public arena. 583 00:35:21,955 --> 00:35:24,625 Mmm. Oh, yeah. 584 00:35:24,725 --> 00:35:27,928 I see it was a very chilly evening. 585 00:35:27,995 --> 00:35:30,264 Mm-hmm. 586 00:35:33,267 --> 00:35:36,203 What's really interesting about this, though, 587 00:35:36,270 --> 00:35:40,207 is that you can't see that rose tattoo... 588 00:35:40,274 --> 00:35:44,044 - on your back. - [Chuckles] 589 00:35:44,111 --> 00:35:47,781 Oh, yeah. Ike bet me 50 bucks that you don't still have it. 590 00:35:47,881 --> 00:35:51,218 I said, "You're on, man. Maggie loved that thing." 591 00:35:51,285 --> 00:35:54,288 And, seriously, I mean, I could use 50 bucks. 592 00:35:54,388 --> 00:35:57,457 - Mm-hmm. - Maggie? 593 00:35:57,558 --> 00:35:59,459 Just-- 594 00:36:03,263 --> 00:36:05,465 Look, I'm not gonna show you guys anything. 595 00:36:05,499 --> 00:36:09,303 I am a soon-to-be-married woman. So just give me the photograph! 596 00:36:09,336 --> 00:36:11,405 I would love to give you this. Believe me, I would. 597 00:36:11,471 --> 00:36:15,342 Just give us a quick gander at that rose, 598 00:36:15,442 --> 00:36:17,344 and I'll gladly turn it over to you. 599 00:36:17,444 --> 00:36:20,247 Fine. Fine. Okay, fine. 600 00:36:21,982 --> 00:36:24,318 Okay? All right? 601 00:36:24,351 --> 00:36:27,120 - [Clears Throat] Satisfied? - Completely. 602 00:36:27,187 --> 00:36:31,792 - Maggie, you got it removed? - Gill-- 603 00:36:31,859 --> 00:36:35,295 Gill, I'll go you double or nothing it was a stick on. 604 00:36:37,331 --> 00:36:39,266 Maggie? 605 00:36:43,003 --> 00:36:45,639 Gill, I am... 606 00:36:45,706 --> 00:36:48,509 really, really... 607 00:36:48,609 --> 00:36:51,311 afraid of needles. 608 00:36:51,378 --> 00:36:53,480 - But that doesn't make me a bad person. - Look. 609 00:36:53,547 --> 00:36:56,517 Look! Look! 610 00:36:56,550 --> 00:36:58,886 I think this man is heartbroken. 611 00:36:58,986 --> 00:37:01,154 - No, he's not. - I think I am. 612 00:37:02,489 --> 00:37:04,825 No, you're, you're not! 613 00:37:04,892 --> 00:37:08,529 You have your guitar, and you have Lydia. You're not-- 614 00:37:08,629 --> 00:37:11,465 % [Guitar] 615 00:37:11,532 --> 00:37:14,868 We'll talk about this later. Okay? 616 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:22,543 Hey, Ike? 617 00:37:22,643 --> 00:37:25,846 - What would Jerry do? - He'd play. 618 00:37:25,913 --> 00:37:28,682 -Jerry would play! - He would play! 619 00:37:41,195 --> 00:37:43,096 Well, there's Ike... 620 00:37:43,197 --> 00:37:45,566 with the mayor and the police chief. 621 00:37:45,599 --> 00:37:47,601 Boy, he sure makes friends easy. 622 00:37:47,668 --> 00:37:50,604 That's pretty cool. 623 00:37:58,245 --> 00:38:00,047 - Oh, yeah! - That's right! 624 00:38:05,118 --> 00:38:07,588 - Hey, you're that reporter, right? - Yeah. 625 00:38:07,688 --> 00:38:10,090 There he is again! 626 00:38:10,190 --> 00:38:12,359 Snoop Doggy Dogg! 627 00:38:12,426 --> 00:38:15,629 - I'm going to marry Maggie someday. - Oh, really? 628 00:38:15,729 --> 00:38:19,099 He's an attractive man. 629 00:38:19,132 --> 00:38:22,870 The vicious reporter is attractive? You're saying viciousness is attractive? 630 00:38:22,936 --> 00:38:25,105 No, I'm not saying viciousness is attractive. 631 00:38:28,942 --> 00:38:30,644 He's coming. 632 00:38:30,744 --> 00:38:32,079 I better go-- 633 00:38:32,145 --> 00:38:34,648 No, no, no. Don't leave. Uh, act natural. 634 00:38:34,748 --> 00:38:37,918 - Okay. - He can probably read lips. 635 00:38:37,985 --> 00:38:41,989 The famous Swenson triplets. Gimme 15. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done. 636 00:38:42,089 --> 00:38:45,459 - I will handle this. - Don't move your lips! Okay? Go on. 637 00:38:45,492 --> 00:38:49,129 I will handle this! I won't say anything. 638 00:38:49,162 --> 00:38:51,398 - Okay. - I'll handle it. 639 00:38:53,233 --> 00:38:57,004 Yeah, Cory! 640 00:38:57,104 --> 00:38:59,072 - Hey, Peggy Flemming! - Hey. 641 00:38:59,139 --> 00:39:01,808 - Not the ice skater. - That's Maggie's seat. 642 00:39:01,842 --> 00:39:04,478 Yes, and this must be her beer too. 643 00:39:04,578 --> 00:39:06,647 - [Cory]Hey! - Hey, sweetie! 644 00:39:06,747 --> 00:39:09,650 [Ike] That your husband out here? 645 00:39:09,750 --> 00:39:12,653 - Yeah. - This is Cory? Cory Flemming? 646 00:39:12,686 --> 00:39:14,988 He's a radio announcer here, isn't he? 647 00:39:15,022 --> 00:39:18,425 Yeah, that's right. Have you heard his morning show, "Wake up with Flemm"? 648 00:39:19,993 --> 00:39:21,929 Not yet. 649 00:39:21,995 --> 00:39:26,433 [Grandma Over P.A.]Now up, Atlantic Hotel's Lee Mistlehorne. 650 00:39:26,500 --> 00:39:28,535 He actually made the all-stars in high school. 651 00:39:28,635 --> 00:39:30,871 Really? You must be proud of him. 652 00:39:30,971 --> 00:39:32,873 I didn't really know him back then. 653 00:39:32,973 --> 00:39:37,811 He was actually dating Maggie... at the time. 654 00:39:37,878 --> 00:39:42,349 I mean, he never really-- They were never gonna... 655 00:39:42,449 --> 00:39:45,285 get engaged or anything, it was just like, you know. 656 00:39:45,352 --> 00:39:48,288 Sometimes he'd call her Magpie, and it was really irritating. 657 00:39:48,355 --> 00:39:51,325 But-- I don't know why I'm telling you this. 658 00:39:51,391 --> 00:39:52,860 No, this is good. 659 00:39:55,362 --> 00:39:57,664 - He's stealing third! - Yes! 660 00:39:57,731 --> 00:39:59,466 [Bob] Safe. 661 00:39:59,533 --> 00:40:02,202 Excellent. 662 00:40:05,706 --> 00:40:08,075 Yes! Yes! Whoo! 663 00:40:09,576 --> 00:40:11,879 Safe! 664 00:40:11,979 --> 00:40:15,482 - I love it! - Uh-huh! 665 00:40:15,549 --> 00:40:18,185 - Good one! - Magpie! 666 00:40:20,153 --> 00:40:22,055 Just-- 667 00:40:22,155 --> 00:40:24,057 Excellent! 668 00:40:25,692 --> 00:40:29,863 It's nice that they're... still friends. 669 00:40:31,999 --> 00:40:36,737 Yeah, I mean, that was just a long time ago. And, you know, it's just-- 670 00:40:39,106 --> 00:40:42,042 So-- Excuse me. 671 00:40:42,109 --> 00:40:44,845 - You all right? - Yeah! 672 00:40:44,912 --> 00:40:47,514 [Grandma Over P.A.] That makes it Alumni, nine, Hale students, eight. 673 00:40:47,581 --> 00:40:51,185 - Hey, Peggy? - Hey! 674 00:40:51,251 --> 00:40:56,256 [Grandma] Cookies for today's game were donated by Betty Trout. 675 00:40:57,457 --> 00:41:01,395 Now up for the Comets, Jordan Hill. 676 00:41:01,461 --> 00:41:03,430 You have been here, what, like three minutes? 677 00:41:03,530 --> 00:41:04,965 What did you do to her? 678 00:41:05,065 --> 00:41:09,469 -You could just turn that finger around. -Excuse me? 679 00:41:09,570 --> 00:41:13,307 Oh, Cory, Cory, Cory! Pow, pow, pow, pow. What is this about? 680 00:41:13,407 --> 00:41:16,310 You know what? We have all been friends our entire lives. 681 00:41:16,410 --> 00:41:19,279 A type of relationship that you obviously don't understand. 682 00:41:19,379 --> 00:41:22,649 I'm not the only one who does not understand. 683 00:41:22,749 --> 00:41:26,320 The U.S.S. Maggie leaves quite a wake. 684 00:41:26,420 --> 00:41:28,388 Excuse me. 685 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:37,431 Pot-stirrer man. 686 00:41:44,238 --> 00:41:46,673 [Grandma] Cory Flemming to Lee Mistlehorne to Dr. Ettinger. 687 00:41:46,773 --> 00:41:49,510 Hey. All right. 688 00:41:50,677 --> 00:41:53,447 That's cheering. I'm cheering normal. 689 00:41:53,514 --> 00:41:56,583 Cheer. Normal. 690 00:41:58,752 --> 00:42:02,689 - [Woman] Good morning, Peggy. - Good morning. 691 00:42:12,666 --> 00:42:15,369 Do you think I flirt with Cory? 692 00:42:17,037 --> 00:42:21,008 Good morning to you too. You look good. 693 00:42:21,041 --> 00:42:23,810 Thank you. 694 00:42:23,877 --> 00:42:26,280 Do you think I flirt with Cory? 695 00:42:26,346 --> 00:42:30,184 - Yes. - I don't mean to. 696 00:42:30,284 --> 00:42:33,453 I know. I think sometimes you just sort of... 697 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:36,890 spaz out with excess flirtatious energy, 698 00:42:36,957 --> 00:42:40,794 and it just lands on anything male that moves. 699 00:42:40,861 --> 00:42:43,630 Anything male that moves? 700 00:42:43,697 --> 00:42:47,134 As opposed to anything male that doesn't? 701 00:42:48,635 --> 00:42:52,139 Well, like certain kinds of coral. 702 00:42:53,140 --> 00:42:55,909 I'm definitely going to have to kill myself today. 703 00:42:55,976 --> 00:42:56,977 Why? 704 00:42:57,044 --> 00:43:01,081 Because you think I'm all like, "Hey, man, check me out." 705 00:43:01,181 --> 00:43:05,719 No, I don't. I think you're like... 706 00:43:05,819 --> 00:43:09,756 "I'm charming and mysterious in a way that even I don't understand, 707 00:43:09,823 --> 00:43:15,529 and something about me is crying out for protection from a big man like you." 708 00:43:15,596 --> 00:43:17,664 It's very hard to compete with. 709 00:43:17,731 --> 00:43:21,401 Especially as... married women who've lost our mystery. 710 00:43:21,502 --> 00:43:25,672 Lost-- You have-- You are totally mysterious. 711 00:43:25,739 --> 00:43:27,774 No. I'm weird. 712 00:43:27,875 --> 00:43:31,612 Weird and mysterious are two very different things. 713 00:43:31,712 --> 00:43:35,115 - I'm weird. - No, you're quirky. 714 00:43:35,182 --> 00:43:39,953 Quirky and weird are two very different things. 715 00:43:41,955 --> 00:43:46,260 Peggy, I think there is a distinct possibility... 716 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:50,764 that I am profoundly and irreversibly screwed up. 717 00:43:52,533 --> 00:43:54,434 Despite that, 718 00:43:54,535 --> 00:43:57,905 I love you and I promise... 719 00:43:57,971 --> 00:44:00,307 to no longer flirt with Cory. 720 00:44:01,775 --> 00:44:05,145 Maggie, I'm not worried about you and Cory, 721 00:44:05,212 --> 00:44:07,714 or me and Cory, 722 00:44:07,781 --> 00:44:11,585 or you being irreversibly screwed up. 723 00:44:11,652 --> 00:44:14,955 Maggie, you've been like this since we were kids. 724 00:44:15,055 --> 00:44:19,459 And all I'm thinking is, now that you're aware of it, 725 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,828 and that it hurts people's feelings sometimes, 726 00:44:21,895 --> 00:44:26,800 maybe it's time to get on with life, and commit to someone of your own, 727 00:44:26,900 --> 00:44:29,636 like Bob, if he's the one. 728 00:44:30,771 --> 00:44:32,673 I know. 729 00:44:36,243 --> 00:44:39,980 Is there anything I can do to... make it up to you? 730 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:43,817 Well, there's always... 731 00:44:43,917 --> 00:44:47,688 the thing that brings warmth to my heart, 732 00:44:47,788 --> 00:44:49,756 and that is duckbill platypus. 733 00:44:49,823 --> 00:44:54,027 Duckbill-- That is only funny in like Camp Birchwood on... 734 00:44:54,127 --> 00:44:55,863 Just do it. 735 00:44:55,929 --> 00:44:58,198 a trip with the tent and my leg as the pole and it's raining. 736 00:44:58,265 --> 00:45:00,200 And you know. That's the only time that's funny. 737 00:45:00,267 --> 00:45:03,370 Let's just see. 738 00:45:05,105 --> 00:45:06,707 Oh. 739 00:45:13,113 --> 00:45:16,216 [Chuckling] 740 00:45:17,618 --> 00:45:20,454 It's so humiliating. 741 00:45:20,521 --> 00:45:22,289 Thank you. 742 00:45:24,057 --> 00:45:26,193 Thank you. 743 00:45:26,393 --> 00:45:28,662 [Barbershop Quartet] % Farewell, ladies % 744 00:45:28,729 --> 00:45:32,900 % Farewell, ladies We're going to leave you now % 745 00:45:32,966 --> 00:45:37,237 % Merrily we roll along roll along, roll along % 746 00:45:38,972 --> 00:45:41,875 Lee. Hey, wake up. Hey! 747 00:45:41,975 --> 00:45:43,744 - Hello? - Hi. 748 00:45:43,844 --> 00:45:46,580 Gimme the key to the reporter's room. I wanna snoop around. 749 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:48,749 - Come on, quick. Wake up. - Second floor. 750 00:45:48,849 --> 00:45:51,752 - Thank you. - Don't take anything big. 751 00:45:51,818 --> 00:45:54,221 Okay. 752 00:46:10,571 --> 00:46:12,506 Shh. 753 00:46:18,679 --> 00:46:20,581 Hmm. 754 00:46:21,849 --> 00:46:23,784 Hopefully his favorite. 755 00:46:23,851 --> 00:46:26,520 [Fisher Over Cell Phone] My theory is she's running... 756 00:46:26,587 --> 00:46:28,589 because she gets negative attention. 757 00:46:28,689 --> 00:46:30,624 Negative attention is attention. 758 00:46:30,691 --> 00:46:33,961 You know, like when women whack you on the street because of your column. 759 00:46:34,061 --> 00:46:35,562 That's negative attention. 760 00:46:35,629 --> 00:46:38,599 We're talking about her negative attention, not mine. 761 00:46:47,374 --> 00:46:49,977 "How does she get all those guys to propose? 762 00:46:50,077 --> 00:46:52,980 She's not that beautiful.'' 763 00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:55,549 Bite me, paperboy. 764 00:46:58,919 --> 00:47:01,722 Ah, hey! Hey! 765 00:47:01,788 --> 00:47:03,090 Hi, Ike. 766 00:47:03,156 --> 00:47:07,127 You put your shoes out at night, they're real shiny in the mornin'. 767 00:47:07,227 --> 00:47:10,964 - Sometimes they don't bring 'em back. - Mmm, why take a chance? 768 00:47:11,064 --> 00:47:12,966 Good night. 769 00:47:26,780 --> 00:47:30,017 All right. I know you're in there. I saw you. 770 00:47:31,985 --> 00:47:34,688 You realize you're messing with the First Amendment now. 771 00:47:34,788 --> 00:47:38,025 [Knocking On Door] Come on, open up. 772 00:47:38,125 --> 00:47:40,427 Come on! 773 00:47:40,494 --> 00:47:42,496 We should have a very serious discussion... 774 00:47:42,529 --> 00:47:45,332 about why you are such a pain in the ass! 775 00:47:45,365 --> 00:47:46,867 Open the door! 776 00:47:46,934 --> 00:47:49,536 I'm coming in. I'm coming through. 777 00:47:49,636 --> 00:47:51,772 It's your last chance. Here I come! 778 00:47:51,839 --> 00:47:53,674 Here I come! 779 00:47:55,442 --> 00:47:57,377 All right. 780 00:47:57,444 --> 00:48:02,182 Breaking and entering. That's a felony. I'm calling the sheriff. 781 00:48:02,282 --> 00:48:04,051 You know what? You do that. 782 00:48:04,151 --> 00:48:07,621 Can you remind him that's he's bringing the wine to the luau? 783 00:48:07,688 --> 00:48:11,525 [Whispering] It'll save me a call. Thanks so much. 784 00:48:11,558 --> 00:48:13,694 Hey, Ike, does your friend have a sister? 785 00:48:13,794 --> 00:48:17,364 Wait for the original. She'll be available in a week. 786 00:48:20,968 --> 00:48:23,737 %[Jazz] 787 00:48:47,661 --> 00:48:49,730 [Maggie Crowing] 788 00:48:49,763 --> 00:48:52,900 [Crowing Continues] 789 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:56,270 [Crowing] 790 00:48:59,006 --> 00:49:02,910 Freeze. Oh, hold on to those covers. I didn't come to see Ike Junior. 791 00:49:03,010 --> 00:49:07,781 [Sighs] I take it the desk clerk is one of your many admirers. 792 00:49:09,449 --> 00:49:13,453 So, your notes made for... interesting reading. 793 00:49:13,554 --> 00:49:15,055 What's your point? 794 00:49:15,122 --> 00:49:17,357 My point is, once again, you're getting it all wrong. 795 00:49:17,424 --> 00:49:19,793 And that's not gonna improve your reputation, 796 00:49:19,893 --> 00:49:22,429 and it's not very flattering to me either. 797 00:49:22,462 --> 00:49:26,466 So, I decided that I would help you write the truth. 798 00:49:26,567 --> 00:49:28,402 - [Chuckles] Really? - Mm-hmm. 799 00:49:28,468 --> 00:49:31,405 Oh. 800 00:49:31,471 --> 00:49:35,642 I've decided to cooperate and let you interview me... 801 00:49:35,709 --> 00:49:38,812 - for $1,000. - [Groans] 802 00:49:38,912 --> 00:49:40,981 I want a big wedding and a killer dress. 803 00:49:41,081 --> 00:49:46,320 And for a grand, I will answer all your questions and let you follow me around. 804 00:49:46,386 --> 00:49:50,657 The magazine does not spend money for stories. 805 00:49:50,724 --> 00:49:52,826 - It's not what you would call ethical. - Oh. 806 00:49:52,926 --> 00:49:55,062 I meant you. 807 00:49:55,128 --> 00:49:59,333 I figured you probably got severance or expenses or both. 808 00:49:59,399 --> 00:50:02,669 I'm guessing that you're writing on spec. 809 00:50:02,736 --> 00:50:06,673 And with a first-person interview, you might actually sell that thing. 810 00:50:06,740 --> 00:50:10,244 - Too much. - Seven-fifty. 811 00:50:10,410 --> 00:50:12,346 - Five hundred. - Six-fifty. 812 00:50:12,412 --> 00:50:15,482 Done. 813 00:50:15,582 --> 00:50:19,453 % [Ike Whistling Tune To "The Andy Griffith Show"] 814 00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:23,624 Is that supposed to be a joke? I know what you're whistling. 815 00:50:23,690 --> 00:50:25,626 - Hello. - Hi. 816 00:50:27,928 --> 00:50:30,931 This is a birthday present for my cousin. 817 00:50:30,964 --> 00:50:32,466 [Motor Whirring] 818 00:50:32,533 --> 00:50:35,702 [Chuckles] That's great. 819 00:50:35,802 --> 00:50:40,374 Wonderful stuff. All these found industrial parts and things. 820 00:50:40,474 --> 00:50:42,442 A lamp tree. 821 00:50:42,476 --> 00:50:44,444 That's great. 822 00:50:44,478 --> 00:50:48,382 - Is this-- That's your preferred logo? - I think so. 823 00:50:48,448 --> 00:50:50,450 It's nice. The whole thing is great. 824 00:50:50,517 --> 00:50:52,553 I think you could sell these lamps in New York. 825 00:50:52,653 --> 00:50:55,055 Maybe someday. 826 00:50:55,122 --> 00:50:58,725 - You afraid to try? - No, no. I'm not afraid. 827 00:50:58,792 --> 00:51:02,129 Just... someday. 828 00:51:03,797 --> 00:51:06,333 This is Brian. 829 00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:08,669 Oh, Father Brian. 830 00:51:08,735 --> 00:51:12,706 - And Gill's, of course. - Gill, yeah. 831 00:51:12,806 --> 00:51:16,009 And... George. 832 00:51:16,076 --> 00:51:19,746 He proposed at a butterfly farm in Saint Thomas. 833 00:51:19,813 --> 00:51:21,882 The ring was inside a cocoon. 834 00:51:21,982 --> 00:51:26,386 Ahh. A little too Silence of the Lambs for my taste, but-- 835 00:51:26,486 --> 00:51:29,523 Well, he's an entomologist. I thought it was very unique. 836 00:51:29,590 --> 00:51:32,359 - And finally, Bob. - Mmm. 837 00:51:32,426 --> 00:51:34,695 He proposed during the seventh inning stretch... 838 00:51:36,496 --> 00:51:39,766 at an Oriole game. 839 00:51:39,833 --> 00:51:43,003 Wait, wait. Wait, don't tell me. 840 00:51:43,070 --> 00:51:46,373 The scoreboard lit up with "Marry me, Maggie." 841 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:49,109 It was one of the most wonderful moments of my life. 842 00:51:49,209 --> 00:51:51,612 Highly suspect. 843 00:51:51,678 --> 00:51:54,948 What do you mean? It was incredibly romantic. 844 00:51:55,015 --> 00:51:58,352 Look, maybe it's just me, but... 845 00:51:58,418 --> 00:52:02,256 if you gotta dress it up like that, it just doesn't ring true. 846 00:52:02,356 --> 00:52:06,760 You know, l, I think the most... 847 00:52:06,860 --> 00:52:09,229 that anybody can honestly say is: 848 00:52:09,296 --> 00:52:14,468 "Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee... 849 00:52:14,535 --> 00:52:19,306 "at some point one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. 850 00:52:19,406 --> 00:52:23,710 "But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, 851 00:52:23,777 --> 00:52:26,413 "I'll regret it the rest of my life. 852 00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:30,984 "Because I know in my heart... 853 00:52:32,452 --> 00:52:34,988 you're the only one for me." 854 00:52:38,258 --> 00:52:40,227 I like it. 855 00:52:41,328 --> 00:52:43,630 I'd like it better on a scoreboard. 856 00:52:46,767 --> 00:52:51,004 So, is that what you said when you asked your wife to marry you? 857 00:52:51,104 --> 00:52:54,141 Don't look so surprised. You've got "divorce" written all over you. 858 00:52:55,609 --> 00:52:58,345 I'm a work-in-progress. 859 00:52:58,412 --> 00:53:01,682 So, is that what you said to her? 860 00:53:01,748 --> 00:53:04,751 No. I think I said something very eloquent like, 861 00:53:04,818 --> 00:53:07,287 "So, um, 862 00:53:07,354 --> 00:53:10,324 "maybe you and I should, you know-- 863 00:53:10,424 --> 00:53:13,126 What do you think? Huh?'' 864 00:53:14,428 --> 00:53:16,697 Now, that's romantic. 865 00:53:16,797 --> 00:53:19,967 And with a proposal like that, you didn't find eternal bliss? 866 00:53:20,033 --> 00:53:22,870 - [Sighs] - What went wrong? 867 00:53:22,970 --> 00:53:24,938 I don't know. 868 00:53:24,972 --> 00:53:28,876 - You don't know? - No. 869 00:53:28,942 --> 00:53:33,013 Maybe you should ask her sometime. Ever thought of that? 870 00:53:33,113 --> 00:53:35,816 [Chuckles] 871 00:53:42,456 --> 00:53:44,558 [Maggie] Even with everything that's happened, 872 00:53:44,658 --> 00:53:46,493 I have still never been married. 873 00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:50,163 And I still deserve a beautiful dress. 874 00:53:52,065 --> 00:53:54,401 - [Doorbells Tinkle] - Mrs. Whittenmeyer? 875 00:53:54,501 --> 00:53:56,470 Where are you going? 876 00:53:56,503 --> 00:53:58,672 - Hi, Polly. - Hi, Maggie. 877 00:53:58,739 --> 00:54:01,675 You'll have to excuse her. Some of the children are afraid of you... 878 00:54:01,742 --> 00:54:04,211 since you dragged that little boy up the aisle. 879 00:54:04,311 --> 00:54:06,213 Drag-- No. I didn't, I didn't-- 880 00:54:06,313 --> 00:54:08,582 He tripped on his own shoelaces. 881 00:54:08,682 --> 00:54:11,852 You've come for your dress. Good. It's in the back. I'll get it. 882 00:54:11,919 --> 00:54:16,657 Actually, Mrs. Whittenmeyer, I decided... 883 00:54:16,723 --> 00:54:19,593 - that I want to get this dress. - Oh. 884 00:54:19,660 --> 00:54:22,563 The one you have on hold is lovely, dear. 885 00:54:22,663 --> 00:54:26,400 I know, but I've just-- I've changed my mind. 886 00:54:26,500 --> 00:54:28,702 This is $ 1 ,000. 887 00:54:28,769 --> 00:54:31,572 And I have $ 1 ,000. 888 00:54:31,672 --> 00:54:34,708 [Mrs. Whittenmeyer] The other one is only $300, dear. 889 00:54:34,775 --> 00:54:39,112 Um-- Is that dress for sale? 890 00:54:39,213 --> 00:54:43,617 It's just a lot of money to spend on one of your dresses, Maggie. 891 00:54:43,684 --> 00:54:47,554 After all, you only wear them for about ten minutes or so. 892 00:54:52,893 --> 00:54:54,862 Um, yeah, yeah. 893 00:54:54,928 --> 00:54:58,098 I guess that's true. 894 00:54:59,900 --> 00:55:03,370 Uh, the other dress is, is nice. 895 00:55:03,403 --> 00:55:05,606 - Mrs. Whittenheimer? - Meyer. 896 00:55:05,706 --> 00:55:08,375 Whittenmeyer. Could I talk to you just for a second? 897 00:55:08,442 --> 00:55:10,744 Come here. I don't know much about this kind of thing. 898 00:55:10,811 --> 00:55:15,282 I'm from out of town. But you're a salesperson, right? 899 00:55:15,382 --> 00:55:18,485 - You're here to sell wedding dresses. - I've been here 30 years. 900 00:55:18,552 --> 00:55:22,322 Perfect! Because Miss Carpenter is here to buy one. 901 00:55:22,389 --> 00:55:25,392 Ah. But not just any one. She wants that one. 902 00:55:25,425 --> 00:55:28,962 - It's $1,000! - Listen, Aunt Bee. 903 00:55:30,998 --> 00:55:34,468 Verbal communication was never perfect for me. Let's try visual, all right? 904 00:55:36,904 --> 00:55:39,106 [Ike] We're buying the dress. 905 00:55:39,173 --> 00:55:41,842 Now, we'll have this nice beautiful dress. 906 00:55:41,909 --> 00:55:45,512 And anything else she wants, it's hers. Okay? All right? 907 00:55:52,753 --> 00:55:55,355 [Sighs] What do you think? 908 00:56:03,030 --> 00:56:04,965 Hmm? 909 00:56:08,468 --> 00:56:11,505 [Sighs] 910 00:56:11,605 --> 00:56:14,374 You look-- 911 00:56:20,681 --> 00:56:22,716 [Sniffs] You look fine. 912 00:56:22,816 --> 00:56:25,385 Fine. 913 00:56:27,020 --> 00:56:29,022 [Clears Throat] 914 00:56:29,122 --> 00:56:31,859 You're reading your newspaper upside down. 915 00:56:31,959 --> 00:56:34,228 That's gotta be better than "fine." 916 00:56:34,294 --> 00:56:36,897 Yeah. 917 00:56:36,997 --> 00:56:38,966 Come on, now. Admire me. 918 00:56:38,999 --> 00:56:41,235 Get the whole picture. Right? 919 00:56:41,301 --> 00:56:43,303 I'm gonna have my hair up somehow. 920 00:56:43,370 --> 00:56:45,339 I don't know. Maybe with a little in the back. 921 00:56:45,405 --> 00:56:48,342 And, my favorite feature... 922 00:56:48,408 --> 00:56:53,313 is that it kind of swishes like a bell when I move. 923 00:56:54,915 --> 00:56:56,750 [Maggie] % Ding, ding % 924 00:56:56,850 --> 00:56:59,720 % Ding, ding % 925 00:57:01,488 --> 00:57:03,390 It works. 926 00:57:03,490 --> 00:57:06,226 Bob will be very happy. 927 00:57:06,326 --> 00:57:11,164 Oh, Bob! We gotta go. We gotta go meet Bob. 928 00:57:11,265 --> 00:57:14,535 Oh, jeez, yeah, I'm goin' to the luau. I never miss it. The barbershop-- 929 00:57:14,568 --> 00:57:17,738 Mrs. Pressman, we're ready to order here, I think. 930 00:57:17,838 --> 00:57:19,706 I'm all out of the special-- 931 00:57:19,740 --> 00:57:22,709 That's all right. I'm gonna have the garden omelet, egg whites only. 932 00:57:22,743 --> 00:57:25,546 - Okay. - That sounds good. I'll have the same. 933 00:57:25,579 --> 00:57:27,080 Of course. 934 00:57:27,181 --> 00:57:31,518 What is that? I can't even order eggs without sarcasm from you? 935 00:57:31,585 --> 00:57:33,086 [Clears Throat] 936 00:57:33,187 --> 00:57:35,389 - You're on the same team now. - What is that sound? 937 00:57:35,422 --> 00:57:37,291 [Clears Throat] Have some water. 938 00:57:37,391 --> 00:57:40,727 - Penalty box. Penalty box. Hmm? - What is it? Fur ball? 939 00:57:40,794 --> 00:57:44,131 Ike, Maggie is the sweetest person you're ever gonna meet. 940 00:57:44,231 --> 00:57:46,300 But she focuses too much out there. 941 00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:48,869 She needs to start focusing more in here. 942 00:57:48,936 --> 00:57:51,438 That's why I think she's had, uh, 943 00:57:51,538 --> 00:57:56,610 whatever you wanna call 'em-- problems in the past. 944 00:57:56,710 --> 00:57:59,413 And that's what we're working on. Focus. 945 00:57:59,446 --> 00:58:02,916 -Focus. Focus on Maggie. Focus. - Mm-hmm. 946 00:58:02,983 --> 00:58:05,919 Focus on Bob. Focus on Bob. 947 00:58:05,986 --> 00:58:08,889 I've been runnin' Maggie through these visualization exercises. 948 00:58:08,956 --> 00:58:11,625 All the sports shrinks use this head stuff. 949 00:58:11,725 --> 00:58:14,228 Visualize the end zone. 950 00:58:14,294 --> 00:58:18,765 Visualize that hole-in-one. 951 00:58:18,799 --> 00:58:22,669 Tell me. When you get to the altar, do you spike the bouquet? 952 00:58:22,769 --> 00:58:25,772 - Okay, you know what-- - Well, I'm off. 953 00:58:25,839 --> 00:58:28,342 A reporter's work is never done. 954 00:58:28,442 --> 00:58:30,344 See you later. Bye, Mrs. Pressman. Thank you. 955 00:58:30,444 --> 00:58:34,681 I'm gonna go focus on your eggs, Bob. 956 00:58:36,183 --> 00:58:38,652 I'm glad you're here. I wanted to try to explain. 957 00:58:38,752 --> 00:58:42,956 There are reasons why there have been three weddings and no "I do's." 958 00:58:42,990 --> 00:58:46,493 You can't believe how much cake we got stuck with! 959 00:58:46,593 --> 00:58:48,795 It's a wonder I don't weigh 300 pounds! 960 00:58:48,829 --> 00:58:51,698 And then, her father bought all that booze that nobody drank. 961 00:58:51,798 --> 00:58:53,700 - But he didn't mind that-- - Hi, Grandma. 962 00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:55,869 [Makes Kissing Sound] Hi, Netta. 963 00:58:55,969 --> 00:59:00,707 Grammy is giving me the skinny on why you run from marital bliss. 964 00:59:00,807 --> 00:59:03,210 Right. Netta, cover up your ears. 965 00:59:04,945 --> 00:59:07,047 It's not that she's afraid of the wedding. 966 00:59:07,147 --> 00:59:10,350 - She's afraid of the wedding night! - Mmm. 967 00:59:10,450 --> 00:59:13,954 Innocent girls are terrified of the one-eyed snake. 968 00:59:16,490 --> 00:59:18,525 Why, when I was a virgin bride, 969 00:59:18,625 --> 00:59:20,861 I took a knitting needle to bed with me. 970 00:59:20,961 --> 00:59:22,663 Uh-- [Clears Throat] 971 00:59:22,696 --> 00:59:25,032 Grandma, I charmed... 972 00:59:25,132 --> 00:59:29,870 - the one-eyed snake a while ago. - Oh, yeah. I forgot. 973 00:59:29,970 --> 00:59:34,374 Well, I'll tell you one thing. Your grandpa never forgot that wedding night. 974 00:59:34,474 --> 00:59:36,376 Netta, you can take your hands down. 975 00:59:36,476 --> 00:59:38,378 - The tea's cold. - Good. 976 00:59:38,478 --> 00:59:41,348 Could you excuse us for a minute? May I have a word with you, please? 977 00:59:41,415 --> 00:59:44,518 Oh. Bye, Netta. Bye. 978 00:59:44,585 --> 00:59:47,387 Thanks, Grammy. 979 00:59:47,487 --> 00:59:49,890 Uh-- [Clears Throat] 980 00:59:49,990 --> 00:59:53,327 I found this, and I didn't know if it was something interesting. 981 00:59:53,393 --> 00:59:56,830 - My-- This is Miles Davis! - I was cleaning out the attic and-- 982 00:59:56,897 --> 00:59:59,700 This is very hard to find in good condition. 983 00:59:59,766 --> 01:00:04,204 - Hold on to this. This is incredible. - Why don't you take it? 984 01:00:05,839 --> 01:00:08,942 - Huh? - Take it. 985 01:00:09,042 --> 01:00:14,114 You're figuring out what kind of music I like, finding me a rare album. 986 01:00:14,214 --> 01:00:17,084 You're not trying to butter me up, are you? 987 01:00:17,184 --> 01:00:19,419 I was cleaning out the attic, 988 01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:23,223 not attempting the impossible. 989 01:00:23,257 --> 01:00:26,727 I smell trouble. 990 01:00:26,927 --> 01:00:30,297 [Car Radio] This is Cory Flemming, and I'll be featuring the music... 991 01:00:30,397 --> 01:00:34,368 of Denise and Da Nephews, tomorrow morning on "Wake up with--" 992 01:00:34,434 --> 01:00:36,370 [Turns Radio Off] 993 01:00:36,436 --> 01:00:38,906 [Ike] What do we got here? 994 01:00:42,576 --> 01:00:44,912 [Maggie] Come on, big guy. 995 01:00:44,978 --> 01:00:46,914 Oh, on our feet. Here we go. 996 01:00:46,980 --> 01:00:49,750 Let's go, let's go, big guy. Yeah. 997 01:00:49,816 --> 01:00:52,953 I haven't had any fun since you got your driver's license. 998 01:00:53,053 --> 01:00:57,090 Let me give you a tip. I haven't been having a whole lot of fun either. 999 01:00:58,492 --> 01:01:00,928 Steady. 1000 01:01:00,994 --> 01:01:03,764 - Good boy, Porthole. - His name's Skipper, Dad. 1001 01:01:03,830 --> 01:01:06,266 - I changed it. - Ah. Okay, step. 1002 01:01:06,300 --> 01:01:10,437 - [Groans] I'll be back later, Travis. - [Scoffs] 1003 01:01:10,504 --> 01:01:13,240 - That guy Travis really has a problem. - Mmm. 1004 01:01:13,307 --> 01:01:15,342 - I'll get-- - Here we are. 1005 01:01:15,442 --> 01:01:18,445 Okay. Steady. 1006 01:01:18,512 --> 01:01:20,914 You're gonna lean, I'm gonna push. 1007 01:01:20,981 --> 01:01:23,784 Good daughters let their fathers pass out. 1008 01:01:23,817 --> 01:01:26,787 Hey, Walter. Right down there. 1009 01:01:26,820 --> 01:01:29,122 I, I-- Please, please don't write anything-- 1010 01:01:29,156 --> 01:01:32,159 Forget about it. Don't even think about it. 1011 01:01:43,504 --> 01:01:47,474 I'm just so tired of this whole scene. 1012 01:01:47,508 --> 01:01:51,778 Why don't you just let him sleep it off here in the truck? 1013 01:01:51,812 --> 01:01:54,648 Come for a ride with me, come back for him later. 1014 01:01:57,317 --> 01:01:59,219 Okay. 1015 01:02:05,192 --> 01:02:07,728 [Female Singer] % Today % 1016 01:02:07,828 --> 01:02:11,899 % We took a walk up the street % 1017 01:02:11,999 --> 01:02:15,669 % We picked a flower and climbed the hill % 1018 01:02:15,702 --> 01:02:19,173 [Maggie] He's been drinking more and more since my mom passed away. 1019 01:02:19,239 --> 01:02:22,176 [Ike] That's when you quit school to come back here? 1020 01:02:22,209 --> 01:02:26,046 Yeah. I had to come run the store for my dad. 1021 01:02:26,146 --> 01:02:30,083 [Ike] My dad had a small printing business. 1022 01:02:30,184 --> 01:02:33,353 He wanted me to become a classical musician. 1023 01:02:33,387 --> 01:02:35,756 My mother wanted me to be a novelist. 1024 01:02:37,491 --> 01:02:39,693 They were 0-for-two. 1025 01:02:42,829 --> 01:02:44,831 More? 1026 01:02:44,898 --> 01:02:49,203 So, l, uh-- I became a reporter. 1027 01:02:51,605 --> 01:02:54,241 Not quite a novelist. But as we all know, 1028 01:02:54,341 --> 01:02:58,245 journalism is literature in a hurry. 1029 01:03:01,181 --> 01:03:05,886 % I never saw blue like that before % 1030 01:03:07,387 --> 01:03:10,357 % Across the sky % 1031 01:03:10,424 --> 01:03:12,392 [Ike] What? What is this? 1032 01:03:12,459 --> 01:03:14,862 What kind of gas did you put in here? Diesel? 1033 01:03:14,895 --> 01:03:18,298 I don't know. The pump closest to the car. 1034 01:03:18,398 --> 01:03:20,300 - [Car Backfires] - Whoa! 1035 01:03:21,902 --> 01:03:25,239 This car takes unleaded. Your filter is clogged. 1036 01:03:25,305 --> 01:03:27,241 [Ike] Can you fix it? 1037 01:03:27,307 --> 01:03:29,910 - I'm gonna need to get some tools. - Oh, good. 1038 01:03:29,977 --> 01:03:31,912 Kind of isolated here. 1039 01:03:31,979 --> 01:03:34,715 Yeah, it's nice. 1040 01:03:34,781 --> 01:03:37,317 [Sighs] 1041 01:03:37,417 --> 01:03:40,621 Well, if there's one thing us New Yorkers know how to do, 1042 01:03:40,721 --> 01:03:42,389 that's hail a cab. 1043 01:03:42,456 --> 01:03:44,892 If there's no cab, we walk. 1044 01:03:44,925 --> 01:03:48,996 Uh, well, if we saved the battery here, 1045 01:03:49,096 --> 01:03:51,331 there's a place just down the way. 1046 01:03:51,431 --> 01:03:54,601 We country girls cut across the field. It's quicker. 1047 01:04:00,140 --> 01:04:02,242 Oh, be careful of snakes. 1048 01:04:04,111 --> 01:04:06,446 - What? - Snakes. 1049 01:04:06,513 --> 01:04:08,448 I don't like snakes. 1050 01:04:08,515 --> 01:04:11,151 Walk nice. They won't get ya. 1051 01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:16,423 Come on, come on, come on! 1052 01:04:16,490 --> 01:04:19,793 What're you-- What're you doing? Snake dance? 1053 01:04:19,826 --> 01:04:22,963 I'm scaring the snakes. 1054 01:04:23,030 --> 01:04:27,301 - You're scaring me. - [Chuckles] I'm scaring myself. 1055 01:04:29,670 --> 01:04:33,607 Do you think there's one right person for everybody? 1056 01:04:33,674 --> 01:04:35,943 [Sighs] No, but I think attraction... 1057 01:04:35,976 --> 01:04:39,980 is too often mistaken for rightness. 1058 01:04:40,047 --> 01:04:43,550 Attraction is very misleading. 1059 01:04:43,650 --> 01:04:45,986 - Yes, it is. - Yeah. 1060 01:04:46,019 --> 01:04:48,121 - And it doesn't mean anything. - No. 1061 01:04:48,155 --> 01:04:52,359 No, no. It doesn't mean anything. It means-- 1062 01:05:01,468 --> 01:05:04,238 I, uh, 1063 01:05:04,338 --> 01:05:07,007 suddenly forgot how to climb a fence. 1064 01:05:09,309 --> 01:05:12,179 - Tools. - Tools. Yeah. 1065 01:05:21,355 --> 01:05:26,059 - Lionel, do you have tools? - Hey, Maggie! 1066 01:05:26,159 --> 01:05:28,428 What're you gonna do? Bust out of another wedding? 1067 01:05:28,529 --> 01:05:30,697 [Ike Laughs] 1068 01:05:30,764 --> 01:05:34,168 Sure are well-known around here. 1069 01:05:34,334 --> 01:05:37,337 [Ike] No, Fish, it's almost done. I swear. 1070 01:05:37,404 --> 01:05:39,740 This story's taken a very interesting turn. 1071 01:05:39,773 --> 01:05:42,609 I've got one more interview to do in New York. I'll see you later. 1072 01:05:42,676 --> 01:05:45,345 [Male Singer] % From my head to my heart % 1073 01:05:45,412 --> 01:05:49,416 % Can't seem to find a way They're so far apart % 1074 01:05:49,516 --> 01:05:51,952 [Horns Honking] 1075 01:05:52,019 --> 01:05:55,389 You could've told me that you were fianc� number three. 1076 01:05:55,455 --> 01:05:57,424 And end up in the papers? 1077 01:05:57,524 --> 01:06:01,094 I've been humiliated enough already to last a lifetime. Thank you. 1078 01:06:01,195 --> 01:06:03,630 I was traveling around, 1079 01:06:03,697 --> 01:06:07,534 studying the reproductive and migratory patterns of locusts... 1080 01:06:07,601 --> 01:06:09,536 when Maggie met me. 1081 01:06:09,603 --> 01:06:12,773 Tell me, George. Why do you think she ran? 1082 01:06:12,806 --> 01:06:15,709 Just like you said. What did you call her? A man-eater? 1083 01:06:15,776 --> 01:06:19,780 Devouring death goddess. All right? 1084 01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:22,549 That's what I said. I don't think that's why she ran. 1085 01:06:22,616 --> 01:06:24,051 Why do you think she ran? 1086 01:06:24,117 --> 01:06:26,620 I don't know. I'm working on it. I was on the wrong track. 1087 01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:30,257 - Are you defending her? - No, no. 1088 01:06:30,324 --> 01:06:34,461 I call it like I see it. I'm a journalist. I'm a truth-teller. 1089 01:06:34,561 --> 01:06:36,730 - Unbelievable! - What? 1090 01:06:36,797 --> 01:06:39,566 She got to you, too, like a moth to a flame. 1091 01:06:39,633 --> 01:06:41,568 - Please! -Join the club. 1092 01:06:41,635 --> 01:06:44,505 - What are you talking about? - You need this much more than I do. 1093 01:06:44,571 --> 01:06:48,909 I am a journalist. I'm doing an article. Look. See? I'm being paid. 1094 01:06:48,976 --> 01:06:54,114 This will be published. A cover story. You'll get the all facts in the article. 1095 01:06:54,181 --> 01:06:57,150 Do you know what kind of eggs she liked? 1096 01:06:57,251 --> 01:07:01,188 Poached, same as me. 1097 01:07:07,861 --> 01:07:09,997 [Car Alarm Beeping] 1098 01:07:10,097 --> 01:07:12,766 [Fisher] An over priced apartment and Chinese take-out. 1099 01:07:12,833 --> 01:07:14,835 That's New York living. 1100 01:07:14,868 --> 01:07:16,970 Fisher, don't forget the fortune cookies. 1101 01:07:17,037 --> 01:07:21,341 I already read the fortune. You don't wanna know. 1102 01:07:21,441 --> 01:07:24,378 He makes me crazy. 1103 01:07:24,478 --> 01:07:27,548 Hostility is a very important part of your foreplay, isn't it? 1104 01:07:27,648 --> 01:07:30,450 It takes three people to make our marriage work: 1105 01:07:30,517 --> 01:07:32,352 him, me and our therapist. 1106 01:07:34,688 --> 01:07:37,658 [Laughs] 1107 01:07:37,724 --> 01:07:40,827 Ellie, what went wrong? 1108 01:07:40,894 --> 01:07:43,830 With us. With the two of us, I mean. 1109 01:07:43,897 --> 01:07:49,403 I know it's been a long time. Do you remember? 1110 01:07:49,503 --> 01:07:53,407 Yeah. Do I remember? Of course I do. 1111 01:07:55,342 --> 01:07:58,579 Is that what-- Did I do the same-- 1112 01:07:58,645 --> 01:08:02,683 Is that what happened? Did I just... not see you? 1113 01:08:05,252 --> 01:08:09,056 No. No, you didn't. 1114 01:08:15,329 --> 01:08:17,264 I'm sorry. 1115 01:08:17,331 --> 01:08:19,766 I'm sorry, Ellie. 1116 01:08:19,833 --> 01:08:21,902 I'm sorry too, Ike. 1117 01:08:24,037 --> 01:08:27,674 Wow! That only took us 1 2 years to say. 1118 01:08:27,741 --> 01:08:30,677 Hey, I saw that, you cad. 1119 01:08:30,744 --> 01:08:33,747 You asked for it, you got it. Here you go. 1120 01:08:33,847 --> 01:08:35,749 My dear. 1121 01:08:35,849 --> 01:08:38,285 Get your fortune. Let me see what-- 1122 01:08:38,385 --> 01:08:43,524 "Confucius say, man who leave wife alone with ex-husband may leave altogether." 1123 01:08:43,590 --> 01:08:45,092 - [Laughing] - Aha! 1124 01:08:45,359 --> 01:08:48,395 - Lights and everything. - Hope it's better than last year. 1125 01:08:48,462 --> 01:08:50,531 [Woman Laughing] Or the last ten years. 1126 01:08:50,597 --> 01:08:53,667 %[Drums Beating] 1127 01:08:53,767 --> 01:08:56,170 [Cheering, Whistling] 1128 01:09:02,109 --> 01:09:03,610 [Applauding] 1129 01:09:03,677 --> 01:09:07,314 Let's have a hand for our fabulous hula dancers. 1130 01:09:07,381 --> 01:09:12,452 There they are. King and Queen! 1131 01:09:12,553 --> 01:09:15,556 % [Hawaiian] 1132 01:09:15,622 --> 01:09:20,561 Walter, I'm thinking about going back to my maiden name. 1133 01:09:20,627 --> 01:09:22,563 Can you still remember it? 1134 01:09:22,629 --> 01:09:26,133 What? It's nice, you know. 1135 01:09:26,166 --> 01:09:31,605 It's just I haven't seen him in 24 hours, and I would... 1136 01:09:31,672 --> 01:09:35,642 feel better if I knew where he was, you see. 1137 01:09:39,179 --> 01:09:41,915 [Mr. Trout] Welcome to our annual luau. 1138 01:09:41,982 --> 01:09:44,918 - What can I get you? - [Ike] Aloha, Mr. Trout. 1139 01:09:44,985 --> 01:09:49,489 Uh, you got something without a toy in it? 1140 01:09:49,590 --> 01:09:51,959 % [Electric Guitar] 1141 01:09:52,025 --> 01:09:54,962 - [Man] Get down, Sprout. - The next three. 1142 01:09:55,028 --> 01:09:56,997 Yeah. 1143 01:09:57,064 --> 01:10:00,367 Oh, I'm hearing it here. 1144 01:10:04,538 --> 01:10:06,473 Aloha! 1145 01:10:08,775 --> 01:10:11,211 It's a very fetching headdress you're wearing. 1146 01:10:15,048 --> 01:10:19,219 Where did-- Where did you disappear to? 1147 01:10:19,319 --> 01:10:21,288 Missed me bad, huh? 1148 01:10:24,391 --> 01:10:26,527 [Betty Trout] And we have a winner right here! 1149 01:10:26,627 --> 01:10:29,796 Yeah! All right, Bob! 1150 01:10:29,863 --> 01:10:33,333 Well, it's chow time here on the islands, 1151 01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:37,704 and we Trouts have prepared our traditional feast, Shrimp Trout. 1152 01:10:37,804 --> 01:10:40,073 So let's all meet at the tables. 1153 01:10:40,140 --> 01:10:42,309 You're not allergic to shrimp, are you? 1154 01:10:42,376 --> 01:10:45,546 - Mmm, no. - Pity. 1155 01:10:46,647 --> 01:10:49,183 [Banging] 1156 01:10:51,251 --> 01:10:54,721 Attention! Pay attention to Walter. 1157 01:10:54,821 --> 01:10:57,724 - Listen closely. He slurs. - [Laughing] 1158 01:10:57,791 --> 01:11:00,527 In the tradition... 1159 01:11:00,594 --> 01:11:04,064 that has grown over the years, it is now toast time. 1160 01:11:04,097 --> 01:11:06,233 First up, our host, 1161 01:11:06,266 --> 01:11:08,969 Lou "A Honey of a Beekeeper" Trout. 1162 01:11:09,069 --> 01:11:11,405 [Applause] 1163 01:11:11,438 --> 01:11:13,440 [Whistles] 1164 01:11:13,507 --> 01:11:16,577 May the groom's heart be filled with hope... 1165 01:11:16,677 --> 01:11:19,012 and the bride's feet filled with lead. 1166 01:11:19,079 --> 01:11:22,416 [Crowd Laughing] 1167 01:11:22,449 --> 01:11:26,720 May the pitter-patter of little feet not be Maggie's. 1168 01:11:26,787 --> 01:11:29,223 [Crowd Laughing] 1169 01:11:32,125 --> 01:11:36,730 - May the gifts be returnable. - [Man] I took mine back. 1170 01:11:36,797 --> 01:11:40,467 You know the old saying, "You're not losing a daughter"? 1171 01:11:40,534 --> 01:11:42,536 Well, I'd like to. 1172 01:11:42,603 --> 01:11:45,105 [Crowd Laughing] 1173 01:11:45,138 --> 01:11:48,475 [Walter]Maggie may not be Hale's longest running joke, 1174 01:11:48,542 --> 01:11:52,246 - but she is certainly the fastest. - [Mouthing Words] 1175 01:11:53,647 --> 01:11:55,716 Good one, Dad. 1176 01:11:55,782 --> 01:11:59,753 [Cindy] Walter, maybe Mr. Graham will say something. 1177 01:11:59,820 --> 01:12:03,023 Ah, here we are. Would you like to say something, Mr. Graham? 1178 01:12:03,123 --> 01:12:07,361 Yeah, just a minute. I don't know yet. You okay? 1179 01:12:07,461 --> 01:12:11,298 Come on, Ike. Take a shot at Maggie live. It's more fun than print. 1180 01:12:11,331 --> 01:12:13,934 Excuse me? 1181 01:12:14,001 --> 01:12:16,170 It's a joke. They're kidding, Ike. 1182 01:12:16,236 --> 01:12:20,073 - Yeah, come on. Let's go. - [Banging Cups] 1183 01:12:20,140 --> 01:12:23,410 - [Banging Continues] - All right. We'll have a toast! 1184 01:12:23,477 --> 01:12:26,980 [All Shouting Agreement] 1185 01:12:27,080 --> 01:12:29,516 To Maggie's family and friends. 1186 01:12:29,583 --> 01:12:33,320 May you find yourselves... 1187 01:12:33,353 --> 01:12:35,923 the bull's-eye of an easy target. 1188 01:12:37,758 --> 01:12:43,330 May you be publicly flogged for all of your bad choices, 1189 01:12:43,430 --> 01:12:47,701 and may your noses be rubbed in all of your mistakes. 1190 01:12:52,940 --> 01:12:55,876 Well, that was funny, but enough toasting. Let's hula! 1191 01:12:55,943 --> 01:13:01,348 Everybody! Let's get up and start the band! 1192 01:13:01,381 --> 01:13:03,951 We're gonna make a line right down here. 1193 01:13:04,017 --> 01:13:06,620 Maggie. Maggie? 1194 01:13:06,687 --> 01:13:09,323 [Betty Trout] Lou, where are those hula dancers? 1195 01:13:09,389 --> 01:13:12,192 Here. She might need this. 1196 01:13:12,326 --> 01:13:13,794 Where'd Maggie go to? 1197 01:13:13,827 --> 01:13:15,829 She went to get me something from her car. 1198 01:13:15,896 --> 01:13:18,899 - Maybe she needs help. - B-B-B-Bob. Okay. 1199 01:13:18,999 --> 01:13:21,134 The guard, who threw the block? Forrest Gregg. 1200 01:13:21,201 --> 01:13:22,536 No, Elijah Pitts. 1201 01:13:22,636 --> 01:13:24,805 - He's a running back. - The Fridge. Refrigerator Perry? 1202 01:13:26,507 --> 01:13:28,976 Maggie? 1203 01:13:29,009 --> 01:13:32,479 Hey. Here's a coat. 1204 01:13:32,546 --> 01:13:35,816 - Put this coat on. It's cold. - Don't pretend to be a nice person. 1205 01:13:35,883 --> 01:13:38,652 I was the only person in there defending you. 1206 01:13:38,719 --> 01:13:40,320 You humiliated me! 1207 01:13:40,354 --> 01:13:45,092 No, Maggie, I defended you. Humiliating you is what everyone else did in there. 1208 01:13:45,192 --> 01:13:48,195 - That is the theme of the party tonight. - No. It was under control. 1209 01:13:48,262 --> 01:13:50,564 Now they all feel sorry for me. 1210 01:13:50,664 --> 01:13:53,000 They should. They're about to see you hang yourself again. 1211 01:13:53,033 --> 01:13:54,535 What do you keep-- 1212 01:13:54,601 --> 01:13:57,938 Tell me something. Do you really care about Mount Everest? 1213 01:13:58,038 --> 01:14:01,675 It's fun. It's high. 1214 01:14:01,708 --> 01:14:03,777 Sexual practices of locusts? 1215 01:14:03,877 --> 01:14:08,849 [Maggie]Every one of those times I was being supportive. 1216 01:14:08,916 --> 01:14:12,219 Not supportive! You weren't being supportive! 1217 01:14:12,286 --> 01:14:16,690 You were scared! You were scared then, you're scared now. 1218 01:14:16,723 --> 01:14:19,026 You are the most lost woman-- 1219 01:14:19,059 --> 01:14:21,795 - Lost? - Yes, lost. You're so-- 1220 01:14:21,895 --> 01:14:25,365 You're so lost, you don't even know what kind of eggs you like. 1221 01:14:26,700 --> 01:14:29,203 - Yes. Yes! - What? 1222 01:14:29,269 --> 01:14:31,438 That's right. With the priest, you wanted scrambled. 1223 01:14:31,538 --> 01:14:33,440 With the Dead Head, it was fried. 1224 01:14:33,540 --> 01:14:36,210 With the bug guy, it was poached. 1225 01:14:36,243 --> 01:14:39,880 Now it's like, "Oh, egg whites only. Thank you very much." 1226 01:14:39,947 --> 01:14:42,950 That is called changing your mind. 1227 01:14:43,050 --> 01:14:45,719 No, that's called not having a mind of your own. 1228 01:14:45,752 --> 01:14:47,821 Maggie, what are you doing? 1229 01:14:47,921 --> 01:14:49,923 You really want that guy up there to drag you... 1230 01:14:49,990 --> 01:14:53,227 up Annapurna for your honeymoon? 1231 01:14:53,260 --> 01:14:55,929 You do not wanna climb Annapurna! 1232 01:14:55,996 --> 01:14:58,098 Yes, I do! 1233 01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:02,302 [Sighs] 1234 01:15:02,402 --> 01:15:04,338 No, you don't. 1235 01:15:05,839 --> 01:15:10,410 You want a man who'll lead you down the beach... 1236 01:15:10,477 --> 01:15:12,779 with his hand over your eyes... 1237 01:15:12,846 --> 01:15:16,583 just so you can discover the feel of sand under your feet. 1238 01:15:17,851 --> 01:15:21,321 You want a guy that'll wake you up at dawn. 1239 01:15:23,490 --> 01:15:25,926 He's just bursting to talk to you. Can't wait another minute... 1240 01:15:25,959 --> 01:15:29,096 just to find out what you'll say. 1241 01:15:34,134 --> 01:15:36,036 Am I right? 1242 01:15:42,142 --> 01:15:44,278 Stop it. 1243 01:15:46,146 --> 01:15:50,284 I'm getting married on Sunday. 1244 01:15:50,350 --> 01:15:53,120 And you are just trying to make me run. 1245 01:15:54,721 --> 01:15:59,359 Because you're a cynical, exploitive, 1246 01:15:59,459 --> 01:16:01,862 mean-hearted creep... 1247 01:16:01,962 --> 01:16:05,132 who wouldn't know real love if it bit him in the armpit. 1248 01:16:05,199 --> 01:16:10,504 All you do is... is tear others down, 1249 01:16:10,571 --> 01:16:13,807 and laugh at them and criticize what they do... 1250 01:16:13,874 --> 01:16:17,544 because you're too afraid to do anything yourself. 1251 01:16:19,146 --> 01:16:21,982 I read your columns. 1252 01:16:22,015 --> 01:16:26,520 You never once wrote anything about yourself. 1253 01:16:28,655 --> 01:16:32,359 I am not the only one that is lost. 1254 01:16:33,694 --> 01:16:35,596 And you know it. 1255 01:16:37,998 --> 01:16:39,900 Am I right? 1256 01:16:42,703 --> 01:16:45,939 Am I right? 1257 01:16:48,108 --> 01:16:50,944 [Bob] Mag? 1258 01:16:51,044 --> 01:16:53,847 Hey, help me out here. 1259 01:16:53,881 --> 01:16:56,250 Green Bay right guard. 1260 01:16:56,350 --> 01:16:59,353 Uh, you know, Bart Starr, uh-- 1261 01:17:01,288 --> 01:17:03,524 - You okay? - Yes. 1262 01:17:05,225 --> 01:17:08,695 -%[Drums Beating] - [Clears Throat] 1263 01:17:08,762 --> 01:17:11,532 - I'll take you inside. Okay? - Uh-huh. 1264 01:17:11,598 --> 01:17:13,700 Okay. 1265 01:17:15,068 --> 01:17:17,538 [Maggie] Jerry Kramer. 1266 01:17:17,604 --> 01:17:22,376 Jerry Kramer! I started on the Ice Bowl story. 1267 01:17:22,409 --> 01:17:27,548 %[Drumming Continues] 1268 01:17:27,748 --> 01:17:29,983 Hey, Grandma. 1269 01:17:30,083 --> 01:17:32,219 - What's for lunch? - Turkey and cheese. 1270 01:17:32,252 --> 01:17:34,087 Honey, your grandmother and l... 1271 01:17:34,154 --> 01:17:36,290 are thinking about having a wedding gift museum. 1272 01:17:36,390 --> 01:17:38,725 [Chuckles] 1273 01:17:38,792 --> 01:17:41,762 - Stop. - What? 1274 01:17:41,828 --> 01:17:44,665 Stop. Don't say another word like that. 1275 01:17:44,765 --> 01:17:46,667 - Maggie, it was just a joke. - No! 1276 01:17:46,767 --> 01:17:50,170 It's humiliating, and it's gone on long enough. 1277 01:17:50,270 --> 01:17:54,775 You may not like that you have a daughter with problems. 1278 01:17:54,842 --> 01:17:57,778 But guess what. 1279 01:17:57,845 --> 01:18:01,348 I don't like that I have a father who's drunk all the time. 1280 01:18:03,750 --> 01:18:05,752 I'll eat in my room. 1281 01:18:09,990 --> 01:18:12,626 [Cindy] Tell me why Maggie's having another rehearsal, 1282 01:18:12,693 --> 01:18:14,328 and two days before the wedding. 1283 01:18:14,428 --> 01:18:16,096 She's already done this. 1284 01:18:16,129 --> 01:18:19,433 [Peggy] Well, Bob insisted she visualize the ceremony. 1285 01:18:19,466 --> 01:18:24,204 Okay, we're ready. You want me to have Ike leave now? 1286 01:18:24,304 --> 01:18:26,940 Actually, let's make Ike the pastor. 1287 01:18:27,007 --> 01:18:28,509 Uh, I'd rather not. 1288 01:18:28,609 --> 01:18:31,612 No, it'll give you a great view. I think it's perfect. 1289 01:18:31,678 --> 01:18:34,348 - Hey. - Okay. 1290 01:18:34,448 --> 01:18:37,284 Team effort, Pastor Ike. 1291 01:18:37,351 --> 01:18:40,387 - He's gonna be the pastor? - Yes. Yes. 1292 01:18:40,487 --> 01:18:45,325 Because I want him front and center so he can just see everything. 1293 01:18:45,392 --> 01:18:48,161 - Right up there. That's it. - Okay. 1294 01:18:48,228 --> 01:18:51,131 - Cindy, foyer. - Okay. 1295 01:18:51,198 --> 01:18:54,468 [Exhales] 1296 01:18:54,501 --> 01:18:56,470 Ready? 1297 01:18:56,503 --> 01:18:59,506 What happened at the luau? 1298 01:18:59,540 --> 01:19:04,645 I-- I don't-- I don't wanna talk about the luau, okay? 1299 01:19:04,711 --> 01:19:08,182 - What is this? - It's for the bell. 1300 01:19:08,248 --> 01:19:10,484 - Bob's in a hurry. - Oh. 1301 01:19:10,517 --> 01:19:14,154 - [Bob] Girls! - Okay, Maggie, remember what Bob said. 1302 01:19:14,221 --> 01:19:16,356 - Let us visualize. Be the ball. - Sink the putt. 1303 01:19:16,423 --> 01:19:18,992 - Make the shot. - Nothin' but net. 1304 01:19:19,059 --> 01:19:21,094 - Never say die. - Move your butts. 1305 01:19:21,195 --> 01:19:26,099 - [Bob] Girls, where are you? - On our way, Coach. 1306 01:19:26,200 --> 01:19:28,168 [Sighs] 1307 01:19:28,202 --> 01:19:30,904 The bell. Ooh. 1308 01:19:31,004 --> 01:19:34,208 - [Bell Ringing] - Whoa! 1309 01:19:34,274 --> 01:19:39,279 - [Ringing Continues] - [Maggie Yelling] 1310 01:19:39,379 --> 01:19:42,716 Ooh. Agh! 1311 01:19:44,384 --> 01:19:45,686 What's she doing? 1312 01:19:45,752 --> 01:19:48,622 She's being the bell instead of the ball. 1313 01:19:50,557 --> 01:19:54,194 Sanctuary. Sanctuary. 1314 01:19:54,228 --> 01:19:56,630 Mags, you okay? 1315 01:20:01,568 --> 01:20:03,537 Anyway-- 1316 01:20:04,371 --> 01:20:06,540 Oh. [Sniffs] 1317 01:20:08,275 --> 01:20:12,579 %[Organ, "The Wedding March"] 1318 01:20:21,588 --> 01:20:25,826 At this pace, this could become an evening wedding. 1319 01:20:25,926 --> 01:20:29,129 Okay, okay. You know something? It's great. 1320 01:20:29,229 --> 01:20:33,166 I think we're taking this a little too fast. You're tensing. You feel it? 1321 01:20:33,267 --> 01:20:35,402 Right? 1322 01:20:35,469 --> 01:20:38,739 We just need to limber you up for a second. Ike, come here. 1323 01:20:38,805 --> 01:20:42,309 You're me. Stand here so she knows how far she's gotta come. 1324 01:20:42,409 --> 01:20:45,412 Honey, I'm gonna walk with you. Okay? 1325 01:20:45,479 --> 01:20:48,849 Now he's the groom? 1326 01:20:48,949 --> 01:20:51,118 Just relax. Remember, visualize. 1327 01:20:51,185 --> 01:20:53,687 Visualize. Relax. Limber. 1328 01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:02,763 You are the football, spiraling through the air... 1329 01:21:02,796 --> 01:21:07,034 -%[Organ Continues] - into the waiting hands of the groom. 1330 01:21:07,134 --> 01:21:11,205 I'm spiraling through the air. 1331 01:21:11,305 --> 01:21:13,307 I am... 1332 01:21:14,808 --> 01:21:17,978 streaking... 1333 01:21:18,045 --> 01:21:22,216 toward the... goal line. 1334 01:21:27,888 --> 01:21:31,058 [Bob] Keep eye contact. Keep eye contact. 1335 01:21:31,158 --> 01:21:33,060 And I land on the goal line. 1336 01:21:33,160 --> 01:21:35,963 [Bob] Good. Good. 1337 01:21:36,029 --> 01:21:38,699 Okay, I'm the pastor and I say, "Dearly beloved, 1338 01:21:38,799 --> 01:21:41,034 "we're gathered here, blah, blah, blah, blah, 1339 01:21:41,134 --> 01:21:43,203 "so on and so forth, rat-a-tat-tat, yabba-dabba. 1340 01:21:43,303 --> 01:21:45,539 I now pronounce you man and wife." 1341 01:21:45,639 --> 01:21:48,008 Kiss the bride. We have the organ crescendo. 1342 01:21:48,075 --> 01:21:51,345 That just leads us right on down the aisle. 1343 01:21:51,411 --> 01:21:54,014 And we are man and-- 1344 01:22:07,327 --> 01:22:09,563 % [Organ Stops] 1345 01:22:09,663 --> 01:22:12,232 No! 1346 01:22:12,332 --> 01:22:14,868 Maggie? 1347 01:22:14,935 --> 01:22:16,937 Uh, Mag-- 1348 01:22:20,174 --> 01:22:22,409 [Laughs] 1349 01:22:22,442 --> 01:22:24,411 Okay, okay, okay. 1350 01:22:24,444 --> 01:22:27,614 So if you were imagining me, y-you did great. 1351 01:22:27,714 --> 01:22:29,550 What the hell were you doing? 1352 01:22:29,616 --> 01:22:32,352 Bob, I'm really sorry. She... kissed me back. 1353 01:22:32,419 --> 01:22:35,455 - I kissed you back? - Yes, you did. You kissed me back. 1354 01:22:35,556 --> 01:22:37,691 Yeah, caught that. 1355 01:22:37,758 --> 01:22:40,561 You wanna tell me how long this has been goin' on? 1356 01:22:40,627 --> 01:22:44,798 - About a minute. - Longer for me. 1357 01:22:44,898 --> 01:22:46,867 Really? 1358 01:22:46,934 --> 01:22:49,903 What do you expect me to say to this? 1359 01:22:49,970 --> 01:22:53,207 - Hello. - Well, Bob, you could say, 1360 01:22:53,273 --> 01:22:56,143 "Well, I hope you two will be really happy together." 1361 01:22:58,745 --> 01:23:02,249 I hope you two will be really happy together. 1362 01:23:03,884 --> 01:23:06,787 - [Groaning] - Uh, take care of him. 1363 01:23:06,820 --> 01:23:09,389 - Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1364 01:23:12,593 --> 01:23:16,230 Bob! Bob! 1365 01:23:16,296 --> 01:23:18,799 Bob, I'm sorry. I-I'm-- 1366 01:23:18,899 --> 01:23:22,836 At least this time I backed out before the wedding. That's progress. 1367 01:23:22,936 --> 01:23:25,005 You are gonna find some woman... 1368 01:23:25,105 --> 01:23:28,909 who can make you so much happier than I ever could. 1369 01:23:28,976 --> 01:23:31,979 - Look out! - Ooh, see? 1370 01:23:32,079 --> 01:23:34,014 See? It's happening already. 1371 01:23:34,114 --> 01:23:36,116 - She's good with needy men. - Yeah. 1372 01:23:36,183 --> 01:23:38,952 Uh, yeah. 1373 01:23:39,019 --> 01:23:43,290 - Well, um... why don't you... - Yeah. 1374 01:23:43,357 --> 01:23:46,960 - just call me later. - Okay. 1375 01:23:47,027 --> 01:23:50,531 Bob, this may not be a good time, but here's my number. 1376 01:23:50,631 --> 01:23:55,169 [Cindy] Drive safely, Bob! 1377 01:23:55,202 --> 01:23:57,971 Kid wants to lock up, go home. 1378 01:23:58,038 --> 01:24:00,374 [Car Driving Away] 1379 01:24:00,440 --> 01:24:03,110 - How's Bob? - Mmm. 1380 01:24:03,177 --> 01:24:06,880 - Okay. - [Tires Screeching] 1381 01:24:06,980 --> 01:24:09,449 So, what just happened just now? 1382 01:24:09,516 --> 01:24:12,886 - Then... in there? - I don't know. I, I, I-- 1383 01:24:12,986 --> 01:24:17,024 Frankly, I don't even want to talk about it. 1384 01:24:17,124 --> 01:24:19,059 Me neither. 1385 01:24:23,897 --> 01:24:26,066 Wait, wait, wait. Wait. 1386 01:24:26,166 --> 01:24:30,504 - No, no, no. No, wait. Stop. - Mmm? Mmm? 1387 01:24:30,571 --> 01:24:33,340 No, no, no, no. We gotta-- We have to talk. 1388 01:24:33,407 --> 01:24:37,377 We have to talk. We have to do some talking now, all right? 1389 01:24:37,411 --> 01:24:40,581 Just-- Come over here. Pull up a-- 1390 01:24:40,681 --> 01:24:43,684 - Pull up a rail. - I was enjoying the-- Okay. 1391 01:24:43,750 --> 01:24:48,222 All right. Just give me a little space here. 1392 01:24:48,255 --> 01:24:49,590 Okay. 1393 01:24:51,391 --> 01:24:53,327 All right. [Sighs] 1394 01:24:57,731 --> 01:25:00,200 Do you think may-- 1395 01:25:02,669 --> 01:25:05,439 Well, you do have a dress. 1396 01:25:07,207 --> 01:25:09,343 And the church. 1397 01:25:09,409 --> 01:25:11,612 And the wedding date. 1398 01:25:11,712 --> 01:25:14,548 Then there's the two of us. 1399 01:25:15,549 --> 01:25:18,118 Maybe-- 1400 01:25:21,555 --> 01:25:26,193 You do have to go down the aisle with somebody... 1401 01:25:26,260 --> 01:25:28,729 that you love, 1402 01:25:28,795 --> 01:25:31,899 - and who loves you back. - Who? 1403 01:25:49,650 --> 01:25:51,752 I'm okay with that. 1404 01:25:55,556 --> 01:25:57,624 So am l. 1405 01:26:00,827 --> 01:26:03,597 [Laughs] 1406 01:26:06,066 --> 01:26:08,502 I'm getting married. 1407 01:26:18,679 --> 01:26:20,480 Do you do this often? 1408 01:26:20,581 --> 01:26:23,617 Well, there's not a lot to do around here. 1409 01:26:23,684 --> 01:26:26,854 I just believe he's listening to you. 1410 01:26:26,954 --> 01:26:29,790 His hair, any color. 1411 01:26:29,857 --> 01:26:31,925 I like his tight butt. 1412 01:26:31,992 --> 01:26:35,495 - Grandma. - Well, I do! 1413 01:26:35,596 --> 01:26:38,532 I'll see you at the wedding. Right? You're gonna be there, huh? 1414 01:26:38,632 --> 01:26:42,369 - Thirty-seven hours. - I didn't miss the first one. 1415 01:26:42,469 --> 01:26:45,973 We're gonna spend part of the time here in town 'cause he wants to write a book. 1416 01:26:46,039 --> 01:26:48,275 You always wanted to write a novel. 1417 01:26:48,342 --> 01:26:52,112 I feel inspired here. I feel like I can write. I wanna write. 1418 01:26:52,179 --> 01:26:54,681 Ike is getting married. 1419 01:26:54,715 --> 01:26:57,885 Hah! Ooh! Ooh! 1420 01:26:57,985 --> 01:27:00,320 Fisher, if you pee on the Persian, I'm gonna kill you. 1421 01:27:00,387 --> 01:27:03,390 Hi. It's him. He's on the phone. 1422 01:27:08,362 --> 01:27:11,899 - Hi. [Laughs] - Hi. 1423 01:27:11,999 --> 01:27:14,568 - What are you doin'? - Nothin'. 1424 01:27:14,668 --> 01:27:16,236 Pick that up. 1425 01:27:16,336 --> 01:27:18,238 - [Ike] What are you doing? - It's all right. 1426 01:27:18,338 --> 01:27:22,476 - Nothin'. - Wow. I see the most beautiful girl. 1427 01:27:22,543 --> 01:27:26,246 [Whispers] He can see me. 1428 01:27:26,346 --> 01:27:28,749 Bet's up! 1429 01:27:28,849 --> 01:27:30,884 Aah! Double jack! 1430 01:27:30,984 --> 01:27:35,522 You were trying to cheat! It doesn't work! 1431 01:27:35,589 --> 01:27:41,061 [Female Singers] % Get to me magically sure as the sky is blue % 1432 01:27:41,094 --> 01:27:43,397 Ah. Oh, my God. [Screams] 1433 01:27:43,497 --> 01:27:46,667 I'm the winner! [Laughing] 1434 01:27:46,733 --> 01:27:48,902 Now, this is a mature relationship. 1435 01:27:49,002 --> 01:27:52,940 % Acting erratically Need you fanatically % 1436 01:27:53,006 --> 01:27:58,779 % You get to me magically sure as the sky is blue % 1437 01:28:00,380 --> 01:28:04,852 % Baby, I love you % 1438 01:28:04,918 --> 01:28:07,754 % Do you love me too % 1439 01:28:09,456 --> 01:28:12,793 % Baby, I love you % 1440 01:28:12,893 --> 01:28:14,795 [Church Bells Ringing] 1441 01:28:14,895 --> 01:28:18,732 [Reporter Dina] Wedding bells are ringing today in Hale, Maryland. 1442 01:28:18,799 --> 01:28:23,036 Maggie Carpenter, always a bride, never a bridesmaid, is attempting... 1443 01:28:23,103 --> 01:28:25,405 to complete her fourth wedding ceremony. 1444 01:28:25,472 --> 01:28:28,308 We'll be back when results are in. Back to you, Jessica. 1445 01:28:28,375 --> 01:28:30,544 The turnout for this morning's ceremony is... 1446 01:28:30,611 --> 01:28:32,746 usually saved for royalty or movie stars, 1447 01:28:32,813 --> 01:28:35,716 but Maggie Carpenter is Hale, Maryland's very own star. 1448 01:28:35,782 --> 01:28:38,085 T-shirts here. I got, "Bye, Bye, Bride-ee." 1449 01:28:38,151 --> 01:28:40,487 I got, "What Part of 'l Do' Don't You Understand?" 1450 01:28:40,587 --> 01:28:43,223 Get your "Runaway Bride" T-shirts here. 1451 01:28:43,290 --> 01:28:44,791 Will she or won't she? 1452 01:28:44,825 --> 01:28:47,327 That is on the minds of several hundred folks standing here, 1453 01:28:47,394 --> 01:28:51,498 not to mention on the mind of groom number four, who is missing in action. 1454 01:28:51,598 --> 01:28:54,501 - He's gonna stand me up. - Of course he's gonna come, 1455 01:28:54,601 --> 01:28:58,272 because today I saw eight geese flying in a "V" 1456 01:28:58,338 --> 01:29:00,407 You with the lucky geese! You always see geese! 1457 01:29:00,474 --> 01:29:01,642 Not eight! 1458 01:29:01,675 --> 01:29:04,645 - And in a "V" - Eight is better? 1459 01:29:04,678 --> 01:29:08,515 - Eight in a "V" Can you imagine? - "V" "V" for, uh-- 1460 01:29:08,615 --> 01:29:11,752 - Victory? Victory! - Great! 1461 01:29:11,818 --> 01:29:14,454 - And... Velcro? - Okay. 1462 01:29:14,521 --> 01:29:16,356 Velcro! Stick together! 1463 01:29:16,456 --> 01:29:20,360 - Virginal. - No, no. 1464 01:29:20,460 --> 01:29:23,797 I-I'm sweaty, I'm nervous. Where are my bags? 1465 01:29:23,964 --> 01:29:26,099 - Okay. No. - No bags. Bags are for later. 1466 01:29:26,166 --> 01:29:29,970 - Rub your ears. - Rub your ears. That's a great idea. 1467 01:29:30,037 --> 01:29:34,775 That's a very good idea. Rub your ears. Cory does that to me sometimes. 1468 01:29:34,808 --> 01:29:38,779 - A little "ooo," and you just "whoo." - We do it to the dog. 1469 01:29:38,812 --> 01:29:41,148 [Vendor] Get your "I don't think she will" shirt. 1470 01:29:41,215 --> 01:29:43,984 These shirts are not sold in stores. 1471 01:29:44,051 --> 01:29:46,620 [Excited Chattering] 1472 01:29:46,653 --> 01:29:49,990 - Here comes Ike Graham! - Show time. 1473 01:29:52,326 --> 01:29:55,829 That's better. It's pretty nice, actually. 1474 01:29:55,896 --> 01:29:58,298 - Yeah, it's nice. - He's here! 1475 01:29:58,332 --> 01:30:01,869 [Screams] Oh, the ear! Ahh! I see him! 1476 01:30:01,969 --> 01:30:04,304 Ike Graham has arrived at church. 1477 01:30:04,338 --> 01:30:06,507 [Excited Chattering] 1478 01:30:06,573 --> 01:30:08,642 - Is this your first marriage? - Is this your last marriage? 1479 01:30:08,709 --> 01:30:10,711 [Male Reporter] Any little Grahams in the future? 1480 01:30:10,811 --> 01:30:12,646 [Cory] Oh, he gets whacked! 1481 01:30:12,679 --> 01:30:15,582 - All right, okay. - This is such a good sign. 1482 01:30:15,682 --> 01:30:17,417 All right! Okay! 1483 01:30:17,518 --> 01:30:19,820 Get this-- Who makes this stuff? 1484 01:30:19,853 --> 01:30:23,690 - The veil is not attacking you. - Okay, okay. 1485 01:30:23,757 --> 01:30:28,395 - Now is the time to calm down. - Yes, okay. 1486 01:30:28,495 --> 01:30:32,499 Cause if you don't get calm, we won't get your dress on. 1487 01:30:32,533 --> 01:30:35,202 A girl can't get married in flannel. 1488 01:30:37,437 --> 01:30:41,575 He's the one. He really is the one. 1489 01:30:41,675 --> 01:30:44,711 - [Excited Chattering] - You're not invited. 1490 01:30:44,778 --> 01:30:46,914 Go back to New York. Get outta here. 1491 01:30:47,014 --> 01:30:49,750 - He's the one! - [Excited Giggling] 1492 01:30:49,850 --> 01:30:51,185 He's the one! 1493 01:30:51,218 --> 01:30:53,754 We gotta hurry 'cause the Sunday school kids are coming. 1494 01:30:53,854 --> 01:30:55,789 - Mrs. Pressman. - There's no microphone. 1495 01:30:55,889 --> 01:30:59,860 - Please, put it there. No, no fun. - You're no fun. 1496 01:30:59,893 --> 01:31:01,862 I was gonna do this Scorsese thing-- 1497 01:31:01,895 --> 01:31:04,698 - Whatever. Just do it. Shoot, shoot. - Ike. 1498 01:31:04,731 --> 01:31:08,802 Friends! Oh, God! 1499 01:31:08,902 --> 01:31:11,538 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 1500 01:31:11,572 --> 01:31:16,076 - Thank you. We are friends, aren't we? - Of course we are. 1501 01:31:16,143 --> 01:31:18,946 - You'll be my best man. - Good, but I'm not sure I'm the best. 1502 01:31:19,046 --> 01:31:21,215 Go see the pastor. He'll tell you what to do. 1503 01:31:21,248 --> 01:31:22,249 All right. 1504 01:31:22,316 --> 01:31:24,985 If someone will tell me what to do. 1505 01:31:25,085 --> 01:31:27,154 Mmm. You always looked great in that suit. 1506 01:31:27,254 --> 01:31:29,723 And, Ike? 1507 01:31:29,756 --> 01:31:32,426 I'm happy for you, honey. 1508 01:31:32,492 --> 01:31:36,396 I have a car out back for you in case she decides to run. 1509 01:31:37,631 --> 01:31:40,467 I have an invitation. Lou! He's with me. 1510 01:31:45,305 --> 01:31:47,274 You look terrible. 1511 01:31:47,341 --> 01:31:50,444 Thanks. 1512 01:31:50,511 --> 01:31:52,779 Here. 1513 01:31:52,813 --> 01:31:56,250 - Ike, I'm glad it's you. - Really? 1514 01:31:56,283 --> 01:31:58,285 I wouldn't want to have found out... 1515 01:31:58,352 --> 01:32:00,787 I wasn't the one for her in the fourth quarter. 1516 01:32:03,624 --> 01:32:06,860 Well, Coach, any final advice? 1517 01:32:07,928 --> 01:32:10,430 Maintain eye contact. 1518 01:32:10,464 --> 01:32:14,701 Eye contact. Eye contact. Eye contact. 1519 01:32:30,450 --> 01:32:32,352 [Whispering] What have you got going on here? 1520 01:32:32,452 --> 01:32:35,722 You wanna look just special for the wedding. 1521 01:32:35,822 --> 01:32:39,459 You should thank me and Lou for lending you the wedding car. '63 Buick. 1522 01:32:39,526 --> 01:32:41,028 Thank you, Mrs. Trout. 1523 01:32:41,128 --> 01:32:43,497 What are you saying? We're practically family. 1524 01:32:43,564 --> 01:32:47,301 - How's that there? - My name is Fisher. What's yours? 1525 01:32:47,334 --> 01:32:50,671 Nice. Betty. That doesn't want to come out, does it? 1526 01:32:50,737 --> 01:32:53,140 - You just pulled a hair from my neck. - There we are. 1527 01:32:53,173 --> 01:32:56,210 -Mrs. Trout, please. This is my wedding. -Yes. 1528 01:32:56,310 --> 01:32:58,212 Sit down. Thank you. We're starting soon. 1529 01:32:58,312 --> 01:33:00,981 - Who was that? - Mrs. Trout. 1530 01:33:01,014 --> 01:33:03,050 - He doesn't have a-- - Don't do-- Don't. 1531 01:33:03,150 --> 01:33:06,053 I just want that to be able to-- Fold it in the pocket. 1532 01:33:06,153 --> 01:33:10,490 - Right in the pocket. - Please! Just go-- [Sighs] 1533 01:33:10,524 --> 01:33:14,661 - Good luck, sweet girl. - Oh, thank you, Grandma. I love you. 1534 01:33:14,695 --> 01:33:18,498 - I'm really rooting for this one. - Okay, Dad. 1535 01:33:18,532 --> 01:33:20,934 [Cory] The place is packed... 1536 01:33:21,034 --> 01:33:23,270 with the whole town of Hale on the bride's side, 1537 01:33:23,370 --> 01:33:27,774 and with many New Yorkers on the groom's side. 1538 01:33:27,875 --> 01:33:30,844 - Is this taken? - No. 1539 01:33:30,911 --> 01:33:33,380 I'm Elaine from Manhattan. 1540 01:33:33,413 --> 01:33:36,083 - I'm Bob, Maggie's fourth attempt. - I'm sorry. 1541 01:33:36,183 --> 01:33:39,920 That's okay. There's a lid for every pot. 1542 01:33:40,020 --> 01:33:43,390 And I'm comfortable with Ike. 1543 01:33:43,423 --> 01:33:48,195 It's like Jack Dempsey lost his heavyweight title to a New Yorker. 1544 01:33:48,228 --> 01:33:51,532 Right. Gene Tunney. 1545 01:33:52,900 --> 01:33:54,868 - Whoa. - Spit! 1546 01:33:56,236 --> 01:33:58,138 Let's go. 1547 01:33:59,606 --> 01:34:03,744 Uh, okay. No sauntering down the aisle. I don't like that. 1548 01:34:03,810 --> 01:34:06,780 - Make time. Just get there. Just go. - Fine. 1549 01:34:06,880 --> 01:34:09,149 % [Organ] 1550 01:34:20,093 --> 01:34:22,095 All rise, please. 1551 01:34:27,434 --> 01:34:30,270 % ["The Wedding March"] 1552 01:34:39,079 --> 01:34:41,114 The bride is walking down the aisle. 1553 01:34:41,181 --> 01:34:44,618 Maggie Carpenter is walking down the aisle. 1554 01:34:44,685 --> 01:34:47,654 [Crowd Gasping] 1555 01:34:49,289 --> 01:34:53,093 - Oh, she's pausing. - Stay with me. 1556 01:34:53,126 --> 01:34:55,095 [Bob] Keep eye contact. 1557 01:34:55,128 --> 01:34:57,297 [Relieved Chuckling] 1558 01:35:06,173 --> 01:35:08,976 [Pastor] Please be seated. Thank you. 1559 01:35:09,042 --> 01:35:11,378 I sneaked in a camera. 1560 01:35:11,478 --> 01:35:14,314 We are gathered here today-- 1561 01:35:14,381 --> 01:35:15,649 Please, no cameras. 1562 01:35:15,716 --> 01:35:19,786 Could we hold off photos until the end of the ceremony? 1563 01:35:19,820 --> 01:35:21,221 Thank you. 1564 01:35:22,489 --> 01:35:24,525 No. 1565 01:35:24,625 --> 01:35:28,161 - [Pastor] Where's she going? - [Ike] Don't. 1566 01:35:28,228 --> 01:35:32,165 - Maggie! - Block the doors! 1567 01:35:33,634 --> 01:35:36,236 No, Maggie, don't! 1568 01:35:42,576 --> 01:35:45,145 Oh, never a dull moment at a Maggie wedding. 1569 01:35:45,179 --> 01:35:47,247 There's a man coming with lots of candy in his pocket. 1570 01:35:47,347 --> 01:35:50,217 If you tickle him, he'll give you all his candy. Here you go, little queen. 1571 01:35:50,317 --> 01:35:52,819 - Maggie! -Just tickle him. 1572 01:35:54,521 --> 01:35:58,192 - [Children] Give us some candy! - Whoa. No, not me. 1573 01:35:58,258 --> 01:36:01,161 Get the naughty bride. Naughty bride. 1574 01:36:01,195 --> 01:36:04,498 No, no. It's an Armani suit. 1575 01:36:06,700 --> 01:36:09,102 Wait! 1576 01:36:10,938 --> 01:36:12,739 - Wait! - Maggie! 1577 01:36:13,941 --> 01:36:16,343 Go. Go. Go, go. 1578 01:36:17,711 --> 01:36:21,348 Maggie! Maggie! 1579 01:36:21,381 --> 01:36:24,718 Don't do it! Don't! 1580 01:36:24,785 --> 01:36:26,720 Maggie! 1581 01:36:26,787 --> 01:36:30,023 - He's running after her. - He's in pretty good shape too. 1582 01:36:30,057 --> 01:36:33,627 Maggie! No, Maggie! 1583 01:36:33,727 --> 01:36:35,629 Where do you think she's going? 1584 01:36:35,729 --> 01:36:38,065 Wherever it is, she'll be there by 1 0:30 tomorrow. 1585 01:36:40,300 --> 01:36:42,536 Maggie! No! 1586 01:36:47,908 --> 01:36:49,877 Maggie! 1587 01:36:49,910 --> 01:36:52,880 No! No! 1588 01:36:52,913 --> 01:36:55,449 Maggie! 1589 01:37:01,088 --> 01:37:03,257 Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham! 1590 01:37:06,093 --> 01:37:09,830 [Mooing] 1591 01:37:09,930 --> 01:37:12,566 - Mr. Graham, what is your next move? - How do you feel now? 1592 01:37:12,599 --> 01:37:14,902 - What will you do? - I know you must feel terrible. 1593 01:37:14,935 --> 01:37:17,004 [Chattering Continues] 1594 01:37:17,104 --> 01:37:20,407 - Mr. Graham, talk to us. - That's enough. 1595 01:37:20,440 --> 01:37:22,442 Come on. Leave him alone. 1596 01:37:30,117 --> 01:37:32,519 "Hardware Honey Goes Nuts and Bolts." 1597 01:37:32,619 --> 01:37:34,521 How many times is she gonna do this? 1598 01:37:38,959 --> 01:37:42,829 % Aura Lee % 1599 01:37:42,930 --> 01:37:46,333 - % Aura Lee % - [Cory] Finally, in local news, 1600 01:37:46,433 --> 01:37:49,536 the mayor has requested that we all stop gossiping about last week's... 1601 01:37:49,636 --> 01:37:52,472 Maggie Carpenter "almost wedding." 1602 01:37:52,506 --> 01:37:55,609 This is Cory Flemming for W-HALE saying... 1603 01:37:55,676 --> 01:37:58,478 may the good Lord make you smart enough to live in a small town. 1604 01:37:58,545 --> 01:38:00,514 And we cut. 1605 01:38:00,614 --> 01:38:03,450 [Lee] Camera loves ya. 1606 01:38:05,319 --> 01:38:08,155 - Hey, you okay? - Yeah. 1607 01:38:08,222 --> 01:38:10,657 I'm closing. You wanna go to Butch's for a drink? 1608 01:38:10,724 --> 01:38:13,694 Uh, you know, I'm gonna finish up here, 1609 01:38:13,794 --> 01:38:15,829 and then I think I'll just head home. 1610 01:38:15,896 --> 01:38:17,898 Okay. 1611 01:38:19,700 --> 01:38:22,369 You know, 1612 01:38:22,469 --> 01:38:25,205 I was thinking about that "V" thing. 1613 01:38:25,305 --> 01:38:28,242 And I think the "V" in the geese... 1614 01:38:28,342 --> 01:38:33,013 was half of a "W" for-- 1615 01:38:33,080 --> 01:38:35,015 For, uh-- 1616 01:38:35,082 --> 01:38:39,219 - W-W-What are you talking about? - Wedding! Wedding. 1617 01:38:39,253 --> 01:38:43,023 You just gotta get the rest of your ducks in a row. 1618 01:38:44,758 --> 01:38:47,261 Thank you. 1619 01:38:50,597 --> 01:38:52,733 - So you still think that he-- - You're quick. 1620 01:38:52,833 --> 01:38:55,536 You're very quick. 1621 01:39:00,574 --> 01:39:03,577 [Sighs] 1622 01:39:14,388 --> 01:39:17,224 [Male Singer] % I thought that % 1623 01:39:17,291 --> 01:39:21,929 % You'd be loving me % 1624 01:39:22,029 --> 01:39:27,734 % I thought you were the one who'd stay forever % 1625 01:39:29,269 --> 01:39:34,575 % But now forever's come and gone % 1626 01:39:34,641 --> 01:39:40,247 %And I'm still here alone % 1627 01:39:41,481 --> 01:39:45,118 % 'Cause you were only playin' % 1628 01:39:45,219 --> 01:39:48,422 % You were only playin' with my heart % 1629 01:39:48,488 --> 01:39:52,159 % I was never waiting % 1630 01:39:52,259 --> 01:39:56,430 % I was never waiting for the tears to start % 1631 01:39:56,496 --> 01:40:00,634 % It was you % 1632 01:40:00,667 --> 01:40:04,137 % Who put the clouds around me % 1633 01:40:04,238 --> 01:40:07,674 % It was you % 1634 01:40:07,774 --> 01:40:11,278 % Who made the tears fall down % 1635 01:40:11,345 --> 01:40:14,781 % It was you % 1636 01:40:14,848 --> 01:40:18,285 % Who broke my heart in pieces % 1637 01:40:18,352 --> 01:40:22,122 % It was you, it was you % 1638 01:40:22,189 --> 01:40:27,160 % Who made my blue eyes blue Ooh, ooh % 1639 01:40:27,261 --> 01:40:29,963 % I never should've trusted you % 1640 01:40:30,030 --> 01:40:32,699 Okay, here we go. 1641 01:40:32,799 --> 01:40:36,870 % I thought that I'd be % 1642 01:40:36,970 --> 01:40:39,940 % All you need % 1643 01:40:40,007 --> 01:40:43,877 % In your eyes I thought I saw my--% 1644 01:40:43,977 --> 01:40:46,813 - Ike, how's it goin'? - Hey, Marvin. 1645 01:40:46,880 --> 01:40:48,815 That good, huh? 1646 01:40:48,882 --> 01:40:52,719 % 'Cause you had me believin' in a lie % 1647 01:40:52,819 --> 01:40:55,689 % Guess I couldn't see it % 1648 01:40:55,722 --> 01:41:00,794 % I guess I couldn't see it till I saw the light % 1649 01:41:00,861 --> 01:41:04,031 % It was you % 1650 01:41:04,064 --> 01:41:07,801 % It was you % 1651 01:41:07,868 --> 01:41:11,338 % Who put those clouds around me % 1652 01:41:11,405 --> 01:41:14,741 % It was you % 1653 01:41:14,842 --> 01:41:18,412 % Who made the tears fall down % 1654 01:41:18,512 --> 01:41:21,515 % Only you % 1655 01:41:21,582 --> 01:41:25,485 - [Phone Ringing] -% Who broke my heart in pieces % 1656 01:41:25,552 --> 01:41:28,222 [Answering Machine] Hi, it's me. 1657 01:41:28,255 --> 01:41:32,226 Leave a message after the beep. [Machine Beeps] 1658 01:41:32,259 --> 01:41:34,528 [Dial Tone] 1659 01:41:38,265 --> 01:41:40,100 Hello, Ike. 1660 01:41:50,677 --> 01:41:55,048 Don't tell me my doorman is one of your many admirers? 1661 01:41:57,050 --> 01:41:59,620 I'm making friends with your cat. 1662 01:42:00,954 --> 01:42:02,890 Is it okay that I'm here? 1663 01:42:02,956 --> 01:42:06,760 I don't have much choice in the matter, do l? 1664 01:42:06,793 --> 01:42:09,930 But, I can't speak for Italics. Traitor. 1665 01:42:10,030 --> 01:42:12,065 [Purring] 1666 01:42:12,132 --> 01:42:13,934 I don't blame you for being mad. 1667 01:42:13,967 --> 01:42:16,737 Or furious. 1668 01:42:17,804 --> 01:42:20,641 Irate? Livid. 1669 01:42:20,741 --> 01:42:23,477 - [Meowing] - What is it, Maggie? 1670 01:42:23,577 --> 01:42:25,479 You here on business? 1671 01:42:25,579 --> 01:42:28,916 By the way, I saw your lamps. 1672 01:42:28,982 --> 01:42:33,086 They're terrific. Yeah, really. 1673 01:42:33,153 --> 01:42:36,423 - It's something I've always wanted to-- - [Door Closes] 1674 01:42:36,490 --> 01:42:39,893 You could make breaking and entering into a new career. 1675 01:42:43,096 --> 01:42:45,799 So, what are you doing here anyway? 1676 01:42:48,669 --> 01:42:52,239 I wanted to talk to you... 1677 01:42:52,306 --> 01:42:57,477 about why I run, 1678 01:42:57,578 --> 01:43:00,814 sometimes ride, away from things. 1679 01:43:03,617 --> 01:43:06,286 - Does it matter? - I think so. 1680 01:43:06,353 --> 01:43:08,288 [Clears Throat] 1681 01:43:08,355 --> 01:43:13,527 When I was walking down the aisle, I was walking toward somebody... 1682 01:43:13,627 --> 01:43:19,333 who had no idea who I really was. 1683 01:43:19,433 --> 01:43:24,271 And it was only half the other person's fault... 1684 01:43:24,338 --> 01:43:29,109 because I had done everything to convince him... 1685 01:43:29,176 --> 01:43:31,278 that I was exactly what he wanted. 1686 01:43:31,345 --> 01:43:34,815 So, it was good... 1687 01:43:34,882 --> 01:43:39,686 that I didn't go through with it because it would've been a lie. 1688 01:43:39,786 --> 01:43:43,490 But you-- 1689 01:43:43,557 --> 01:43:46,026 You knew the real me. 1690 01:43:48,061 --> 01:43:49,997 Yes, I did. 1691 01:43:50,063 --> 01:43:52,566 I didn't. 1692 01:43:53,967 --> 01:43:58,205 Still, I ended up chasing a truck. 1693 01:44:11,919 --> 01:44:15,856 I can't, um, do anything about the truck. 1694 01:44:17,824 --> 01:44:19,726 But, uh-- 1695 01:44:24,198 --> 01:44:26,900 - Benedict. - Arnold. 1696 01:44:27,000 --> 01:44:29,570 I love eggs Benedict. 1697 01:44:29,670 --> 01:44:32,406 I hate all the other kinds of eggs. 1698 01:44:32,439 --> 01:44:36,677 I hate big weddings, everybody staring. 1699 01:44:36,743 --> 01:44:39,746 I'd like to get married on a weekday while everybody's at work. 1700 01:44:39,847 --> 01:44:43,417 And if I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse. 1701 01:44:43,517 --> 01:44:45,953 - Should I be writing this down? - And there's something else. 1702 01:44:46,053 --> 01:44:48,555 No, you can tell me. Don't-- 1703 01:44:48,622 --> 01:44:50,557 Okay. 1704 01:44:55,562 --> 01:44:57,531 These are for you. 1705 01:45:02,903 --> 01:45:05,906 - Used-- - Well, they're mine. 1706 01:45:05,973 --> 01:45:10,944 I'm turning in my running shoes to you. 1707 01:45:14,214 --> 01:45:16,116 This is serious. 1708 01:45:16,216 --> 01:45:17,885 And there's one more thing. 1709 01:45:17,951 --> 01:45:20,821 I know, the mind reels that there could be more after this. 1710 01:45:20,921 --> 01:45:24,925 -But, um, if you could just have a seat. -[Clears Throat] 1711 01:45:28,262 --> 01:45:31,598 Let's just not have that there. 1712 01:45:31,665 --> 01:45:34,401 Okay. Okay. 1713 01:45:39,406 --> 01:45:43,177 - Oh, no. My, God, no. - No, no. Don't hide your face. 1714 01:45:43,277 --> 01:45:46,280 This happens once in a lifetime, and it's definitely a first for me. 1715 01:45:46,346 --> 01:45:49,449 You're not gonna want to miss it, so pay close attention. 1716 01:45:56,190 --> 01:46:00,794 I love you, Homer Eisenhower Graham. 1717 01:46:03,463 --> 01:46:04,765 Will you marry me? 1718 01:46:04,765 --> 01:46:06,433 Will you marry me? 1719 01:46:12,806 --> 01:46:14,708 [Laughs] 1720 01:46:16,276 --> 01:46:19,479 I gotta think about this a little bit. 1721 01:46:19,546 --> 01:46:23,650 - Good. I was hoping you would say that. - You were not! Not true. 1722 01:46:23,717 --> 01:46:26,653 If you'd said yes, I wouldn't be able to do this next part... 1723 01:46:26,720 --> 01:46:28,555 and I've been practicing so let me-- 1724 01:46:30,123 --> 01:46:32,626 Okay. [Exhales] 1725 01:46:32,693 --> 01:46:35,395 - Ready? - I'm listening. 1726 01:46:38,966 --> 01:46:40,901 [Sighs] 1727 01:46:43,237 --> 01:46:48,041 I guarantee that we'll have tough times. 1728 01:46:48,075 --> 01:46:51,211 And I guarantee that at some point... 1729 01:46:51,311 --> 01:46:54,748 one or both of us will want to get out. 1730 01:46:56,183 --> 01:46:59,019 But I also guarantee... 1731 01:46:59,086 --> 01:47:02,556 that if I don't ask you to be mine, 1732 01:47:02,656 --> 01:47:05,225 I'll regret it for the rest of my life. 1733 01:47:06,493 --> 01:47:08,929 'Cause I know in my heart... 1734 01:47:08,996 --> 01:47:12,266 you're the only one for me. 1735 01:47:19,339 --> 01:47:21,942 That's a pretty good speech, Maggie. 1736 01:47:22,042 --> 01:47:25,512 I borrowed it from this writer I know. 1737 01:47:27,881 --> 01:47:30,551 So? 1738 01:47:43,597 --> 01:47:47,935 %[Miles Davis] 1739 01:47:56,643 --> 01:47:59,112 Dance with me. 1740 01:48:22,269 --> 01:48:25,472 [Pastor] We are gathered here today to celebrate the union... 1741 01:48:25,506 --> 01:48:28,842 of Maggie Carpenter and Ike Graham. 1742 01:48:41,188 --> 01:48:44,024 - Do you have the rings? - Yes. 1743 01:48:44,091 --> 01:48:47,294 Do you, Ike, take Maggie to be your lawfully wedded wife? 1744 01:48:50,831 --> 01:48:52,766 I do. 1745 01:48:52,833 --> 01:48:57,204 Do you, Maggie, take Ike to be your lawfully wedded husband? 1746 01:48:57,271 --> 01:48:59,206 I do. 1747 01:48:59,273 --> 01:49:02,009 [Pastor] In this life that you share together, 1748 01:49:02,042 --> 01:49:06,013 may your individuality strengthen your love. 1749 01:49:06,113 --> 01:49:09,283 With the power vested in me, 1750 01:49:09,349 --> 01:49:14,054 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 1751 01:49:14,121 --> 01:49:16,990 You may kiss the bride. 1752 01:49:30,204 --> 01:49:31,738 [Applauding] 1753 01:49:46,854 --> 01:49:49,423 Guess what. She did it! 1754 01:49:49,523 --> 01:49:51,758 Maggie Carpenter got married. 1755 01:49:51,859 --> 01:49:54,094 % Alleluia % 1756 01:49:54,194 --> 01:49:57,064 [Cheering] 1757 01:49:59,066 --> 01:50:01,935 Betty, she did it. She did it! 1758 01:50:02,035 --> 01:50:06,006 [Female Singer] % I need love, love % 1759 01:50:06,073 --> 01:50:08,008 -% To ease my mind % - Hallelujah! Hallelujah! 1760 01:50:08,075 --> 01:50:12,012 % I need to find, find Someone to call mine % 1761 01:50:12,079 --> 01:50:15,182 % But Mama said You can't hurry love % 1762 01:50:15,249 --> 01:50:17,885 % No, you just have to wait % 1763 01:50:17,951 --> 01:50:20,854 %She said love don't come easy % 1764 01:50:20,921 --> 01:50:23,056 % It's a game of give and take % 1765 01:50:23,090 --> 01:50:27,361 % I can't hurry love No, you'll just have to wait % 1766 01:50:27,427 --> 01:50:33,200 % You gotta just give it time no matter how long it takes % 1767 01:50:33,267 --> 01:50:37,037 % But how many heartaches must I stand % 1768 01:50:37,104 --> 01:50:42,042 % Before I find a love to let me live again % 1769 01:50:42,109 --> 01:50:47,147 % Right now the only thing that keeps me hangin' on % 1770 01:50:47,247 --> 01:50:51,485 % When I feel my strength Yeah, it's almost gone % 1771 01:50:51,585 --> 01:50:53,754 % I remember Mama said % 1772 01:50:53,820 --> 01:50:56,990 % No, you'll just have to wait % 1773 01:50:57,090 --> 01:51:02,896 % She said love don't come easy It's a game of give and take % 1774 01:51:02,963 --> 01:51:07,434 % How long must I wait How much more can I take % 1775 01:51:07,467 --> 01:51:12,606 % Before loneliness will cause my heart, heart to break % 1776 01:51:12,673 --> 01:51:16,610 % I can't hurry love No, you'll just have to wait % 1777 01:51:16,643 --> 01:51:19,913 %She said just give it time % 1778 01:51:19,980 --> 01:51:22,616 % No matter how long it takes Gotta wait % 1779 01:51:27,321 --> 01:51:30,324 [Male Singer] % Girl I live for how you make me feel % 1780 01:51:30,424 --> 01:51:33,193 %So I question all this being real % 1781 01:51:33,293 --> 01:51:35,429 % 'Cause I'm not afraid to love % 1782 01:51:35,495 --> 01:51:38,498 % For the first time I'm not afraid of love % 1783 01:51:38,599 --> 01:51:42,202 % Oh, this day seems made for you and me % 1784 01:51:42,302 --> 01:51:44,972 %And you showed me what life needs to be % 1785 01:51:45,038 --> 01:51:46,640 %And you sang to me % 1786 01:51:46,707 --> 01:51:50,544 % Oh, you sang to me % 1787 01:51:50,644 --> 01:51:53,714 %All the while you were in front of me % 1788 01:51:53,814 --> 01:51:55,983 % I never realized % 1789 01:51:56,049 --> 01:52:01,822 % I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes % 1790 01:52:01,889 --> 01:52:06,994 % I didn't see it I can't believe it % 1791 01:52:07,060 --> 01:52:09,663 % Oh, but I feel it % 1792 01:52:10,898 --> 01:52:13,567 % When you sing to me % 1793 01:52:13,667 --> 01:52:20,174 % How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies % 1794 01:52:20,207 --> 01:52:24,578 % And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes % 1795 01:52:24,678 --> 01:52:30,184 % I didn't see it I can't believe it % 1796 01:52:30,250 --> 01:52:34,087 % Oh, but I feel it % 1797 01:52:34,188 --> 01:52:36,156 % When you sing to me % 1798 01:52:49,002 --> 01:52:51,939 %[Drumming] 1799 01:52:52,005 --> 01:52:55,075 [Male Singer] % Where were you on our wedding day % 1800 01:52:55,175 --> 01:52:58,278 % I got bad news that you went away % 1801 01:52:58,345 --> 01:53:01,448 % Where were you on our wedding day % 1802 01:53:01,515 --> 01:53:04,284 % You did me wrong and now you must pay % 1803 01:53:04,384 --> 01:53:06,353 -% Whoa-oo % - [Chorus]% Whoa-oo % 1804 01:53:06,386 --> 01:53:10,624 -% Give me back my ring, whoa-oo % -% My ring, whoa-oo % 1805 01:53:10,724 --> 01:53:12,526 -% Whoa-oo % -% Whoa-oo % 1806 01:53:12,593 --> 01:53:17,297 -% I ain't gonna let you keep a thing % -% A thing % 1807 01:53:17,364 --> 01:53:20,534 % Where were you when I said "I do" % 1808 01:53:20,601 --> 01:53:23,637 % Everybody laughed and my in-laws too % 1809 01:53:23,737 --> 01:53:26,807 % Where were you when I turned around % 1810 01:53:26,874 --> 01:53:30,377 %Some place you knew you never could be found, whoa-oo % 1811 01:53:30,444 --> 01:53:31,612 % Whoa-oo % 1812 01:53:31,712 --> 01:53:35,949 -% Give me back my ring, whoa-oo % -% My ring, whoa-oo % 1813 01:53:36,049 --> 01:53:37,951 -% Whoa-oo % -% Whoa-oo % 1814 01:53:38,051 --> 01:53:42,956 -% I ain't gonna let you keep a thing % -%A thing % 1815 01:53:59,239 --> 01:54:02,943 [Female Singer] % Mmm-mmm-mmm % 1816 01:54:03,010 --> 01:54:05,412 % My heart % 1817 01:54:05,479 --> 01:54:09,416 %Says we've got something real % 1818 01:54:09,449 --> 01:54:13,520 % Can I trust the way I feel % 1819 01:54:13,620 --> 01:54:19,326 % 'Cause my heart's been fooled before % 1820 01:54:19,426 --> 01:54:21,762 %Am l% 1821 01:54:21,828 --> 01:54:28,368 %Just seeing what I want to see % 1822 01:54:28,468 --> 01:54:32,105 % Or is it true % 1823 01:54:32,172 --> 01:54:35,709 % Could you really be % 1824 01:54:35,776 --> 01:54:40,647 %Someone to have and hold % 1825 01:54:40,714 --> 01:54:44,685 % With all my heart and soul % 1826 01:54:44,785 --> 01:54:46,854 % I need to know % 1827 01:54:46,954 --> 01:54:51,992 % Before I fallin love % 1828 01:54:52,059 --> 01:54:57,064 % Someone who'll stay around % 1829 01:54:57,164 --> 01:55:01,235 % Through all my ups and downs % 1830 01:55:01,301 --> 01:55:03,370 % Please tell me now % 1831 01:55:03,470 --> 01:55:09,376 % Before I fallin love % 1832 01:55:10,744 --> 01:55:13,647 % It's been so hard for me % 1833 01:55:13,714 --> 01:55:17,718 % To give my heart away % 1834 01:55:17,818 --> 01:55:22,022 % But I would give my everything % 1835 01:55:22,089 --> 01:55:25,058 % Just to hear you say % 1836 01:55:25,158 --> 01:55:30,264 % Someone to have and hold % 1837 01:55:30,364 --> 01:55:34,401 % With all my heart and soul % 1838 01:55:34,501 --> 01:55:36,537 % Please tell me now % 1839 01:55:36,603 --> 01:55:44,878 % Before I fall in love % 1840 01:55:44,945 --> 01:55:46,880 % Ooo-ooo-ooo % 1841 01:55:46,947 --> 01:55:55,522 % Before I fall in love %