1
00:00:01,292 --> 00:00:03,003
(drumroll)
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,298
(fanfare playing)
3
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,221
(music ends)
4
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,822
(train engine chugging)
5
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:54,054
(chugging continues)
6
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:05,482
(train whistle toots)
7
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,737
-(whistle blows)
-(bell clangs)
8
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:30,006
♪♪
9
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:19,514
CHORUS: ♪ Call on Dolly ♪
10
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,017
♪ If your neighbor needs a new romance ♪
11
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:27,105
♪ Just name the kind of man
your sister wants ♪
12
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:28,648
♪ And she'll snatch him up ♪
13
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:31,359
♪ Don't forget to bring
your maiden aunts ♪
14
00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:32,944
♪ And she'll match 'em up ♪
15
00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:34,654
♪ Call on--♪
16
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,447
DOLLY: Mrs. Dolly Levi.
17
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,575
CHORUS: ♪ She's the one
the spinsters recommend ♪
18
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,911
♪ She even found a lovely bride for ♪
19
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,414
♪ Poor cousin Isadore ♪
20
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,083
DOLLY: Social introductions arranged.
21
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:51,004
CHORUS: ♪ Drag your single relations out ♪
22
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:55,300
♪ In a week you'll have to send
engraved invitations out ♪
23
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:58,219
DOLLY: In an atmosphere
of elegance and refinement.
24
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,222
CHORUS: ♪ Call on Dolly ♪
25
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,308
DOLLY: Object: matrimony.
26
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:05,685
CHORUS: ♪ If your eldest daughter
needs a friend ♪
27
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:09,856
♪ Just name the kind of man
your sister wants ♪
28
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:11,858
♪ And she'll snatch him up ♪
29
00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:16,237
♪ Don't forget to bring your maiden aunts
and she'll match 'em up ♪
30
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:21,326
♪ Call on Dolly ♪
31
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:28,124
♪ If your eldest daughter needs a friend ♪
32
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:38,134
♪ I have always been a woman
who arranges things ♪
33
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:44,224
♪ For the pleasure
and the profit it derives ♪
34
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:49,229
♪ I have always been a woman
who arranges things ♪
35
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,648
♪ Like furniture ♪
36
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,025
♪ And daffodils ♪
37
00:03:54,108 --> 00:04:01,115
♪ And lives ♪
38
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,326
♪ If you want your sister courted ♪
39
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,370
♪ Brother wed or cheese imported ♪
40
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,456
♪ Just leave everything to me ♪
41
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,166
♪ If you want your roof inspected ♪
42
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,126
♪ Eyebrows tweezed or bills collected ♪
43
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:15,129
♪ Just leave everything to me ♪
44
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,006
♪ If you want your daughter dated ♪
45
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,092
♪ Or some marriage consummated ♪
46
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:22,136
♪ For a rather modest fee ♪
47
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,888
♪ If you want a husband spotted ♪
48
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,807
♪ Boyfriend traced or chicken potted ♪
49
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:28,935
♪ I'll arrange for making
all arrangements ♪
50
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:35,233
♪ Just leave everything to me ♪
51
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,318
Business trip or pleasure trip, Mrs. Levi?
52
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,279
Mr. Jones, with me business
is always a pleasure.
53
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,156
And you've got more businesses
than a dog has fleas.
54
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,575
Well, as my late husband
Ephraim Levi used to say,
55
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:47,578
"If you have to live from hand to mouth,
you better be ambidextrous."
56
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,372
(laughs)
57
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,040
♪ If you want your ego bolstered ♪
58
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,001
♪ Muscles toned or chair upholstered ♪
59
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,920
♪ Just leave everything to me ♪
60
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,880
♪ Charming social introductions ♪
61
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,757
♪ Expert mandolin instructions ♪
62
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,802
♪ Just leave everything to me ♪
63
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:04,679
♪ If you want your culture rounded ♪
64
00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:06,556
♪ French improved or torso pounded ♪
65
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:09,726
♪ With a 10-year guarantee ♪
66
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,436
♪ If you want a birth recorded ♪
67
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,521
♪ Collies bred or kittens boarded ♪
68
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:16,816
♪ I'll proceed to plan
the whole procedure ♪
69
00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:22,030
♪ Just leave everything to me ♪
70
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,449
MR. SULLIVAN:
Where to, Dolly?
71
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:27,243
Yonkers, New York, to handle
a highly personal matter
72
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,995
for Mr. Horace Vandergelder,
73
00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:31,372
the well-known, unmarried,
half-a-millionaire.
74
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:32,874
Gonna marry him yourself, Dolly?
75
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:37,670
Why, Mr. Sullivan, whatever put such
a preposterous idea into my head?
76
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,589
Your head. Oh. (chuckles)
77
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,759
♪ If you want a law abolished ♪
78
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,677
♪ Jury swayed or toenails polished ♪
79
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,847
♪ Just leave everything to me ♪
80
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,557
♪ If you want your liver tested ♪
81
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,684
♪ Glasses made, cash invested ♪
82
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:54,812
♪ Just leave everything to me ♪
83
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,814
♪ If you want your children coddled ♪
84
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,691
♪ Corsets pulled or furs remodeled ♪
85
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,861
♪ Or some nice fresh fricassee ♪
86
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,654
♪ If you want your bustle shifted ♪
87
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,656
-♪ Wedding planned or bosom lifted ♪
-(woman gasps)
88
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,368
Don't be ashamed, girls.
Life is full of secrets, and I keep 'em.
89
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,372
♪ I'll discreetly use my own discretion ♪
90
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:15,708
♪ I'll arrange for
making all arrangements ♪
91
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:19,045
♪ I'll proceed to plan
the whole procedure ♪
92
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:20,922
♪ Just ♪
93
00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:25,134
♪ Leave everything ♪
94
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,678
♪ To ♪
95
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:32,809
♪ Me ♪
96
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,814
♪♪
97
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:15,096
(bell clanging)
98
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:48,546
HORACE: You will never marry my niece!
99
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,381
AMBROSE: And I tell you
for the thousandth time
100
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:51,549
that I will marry her!
101
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:52,925
HORACE:
Not without my permission you won't.
102
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,051
This is a free country.
103
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,678
(both arguing)
104
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,847
She's consented,
and I'm going to marry her!
105
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:58,848
I'm telling you that you will not!
106
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,683
-And I'm telling you I will.
-Never.
107
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:01,767
-Tomorrow.
-Never.
108
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,603
-Today.
-Ermengarde is not for you,
109
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,605
nor for anybody else
who can't support her--
110
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,857
-You are an artist.
-I make a very good living.
111
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,067
A living, Mr. Kemper,
is made by selling something
112
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:11,902
that everybody needs at least once a year.
113
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:12,987
-Yes, well, I--
-Yes, sir.
114
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,697
And a million is made
by producing something
115
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,241
that everybody needs every single day.
116
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:21,287
You artists, you painters produce nothing
that nobody needs, never.
117
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:22,872
You might as well know any way
118
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,874
Ermengarde and I can find to get married
119
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,500
is right and fair and we'll do it.
120
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:30,504
You are an impractical,
seven-foot-tall nincompoop.
121
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:33,341
-That's an insult!
-All the facts about you are insults!
122
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,342
That's what you have to say.
123
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,801
Thank you for the honor
of your visit. Good morning.
124
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,137
Ermengarde is of age.
And there's no law that--
125
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,305
Law? Did you say law?
126
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:40,681
Let me tell you something, Mr. Kemper.
127
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,224
The law is there to prevent crime.
128
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,060
We men of sense are there
to prevent foolishness.
129
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:47,313
It is I and not the law that will
prevent you from marrying my niece!
130
00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:49,106
And I've already taken
the necessary steps.
131
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,191
-Steps?
-Yes.
132
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,401
Mrs. Dolly Levi
is on her way here even now.
133
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,446
-Dolly Levi? Your-- your marriage broker?
-Never mind that.
134
00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:57,907
She's going to pick up Ermengarde
and take her to New York.
135
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,200
-New York?
-Yes. And keep her there
136
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,369
until this foolishness
is out of her head and yours.
137
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,828
Well, we'll see about that.
138
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,413
Thank you again for the honor
of your visit and good morning!
139
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,707
You have to sit still, Mr. Vandergelder.
140
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:09,418
If I cut your throat,
it'll be practically unintentional.
141
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:13,005
Ahh! Ninety percent of the people
in this world are fools,
142
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,716
and the rest of us
are in great danger of contamination.
143
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:20,471
Ahh, enough of this!
I'm a busy man with things to do.
144
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,682
A scraped chin is the least of them.
145
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,475
I did the best I could, Mr. Vandergelder.
146
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:29,772
-Joe?
-Yes?
147
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,484
I've got special reasons
for looking my best today.
148
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:36,946
Isn't there something a little extra
you can do, something a little special?
149
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,447
-What?
-You know,
150
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,866
do some of those things
you do to the young fellas.
151
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,159
Smarten me up a little bit.
152
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:46,163
You know, face massage,
a little perfume water.
153
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:50,584
All I know is 15 cents' worth like usual,
Mr. Vandergelder.
154
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,920
And that includes everything
that's decent to do to a man.
155
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:55,089
Listen, Joe, I don't want you
blabbing this down at the barbershop,
156
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:58,050
but I need something extra today
because I'm going to New York
157
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:01,595
to call on a very refined lady
name of Miss Irene Molloy.
158
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:05,015
Your calling on ladies is none
of my business, Mr. Vandergelder.
159
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,851
-Hold your horses, Joe--
-ERMENGARDE: Uncle Horace!
160
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,854
-Uncle Horace!
-Yes, what is it, Ermengarde?
161
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:11,731
What have you done to Ambrose?
162
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,024
-I had a quiet little talk with him.
-You did?
163
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:16,819
Yes. I explained to him that he's a fool.
164
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:21,115
-(sobs) Oh, Uncle.
-Weeping, weeping, a waste of water.
165
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:23,784
I've done you a good turn.
You'll come and thank me when you're 50.
166
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,120
(sobbing) But, Uncle, I love him.
167
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:28,372
Save your tears for New York
where they won't be noticed.
168
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,458
-But I love him!
-I tell you that you don't!
169
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,918
-But I do!
-Leave those things to me.
170
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,463
If I don't marry Ambrose, I know I'll die!
171
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:37,715
-Of what?
-A broken heart!
172
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,592
-Never heard of it.
-(sobs)
173
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,510
Are you ready for Mrs. Levi
when she comes?
174
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,511
Yes.
175
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:46,098
Well, get ready some more
and stay in your room until she arrives.
176
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,476
(sobbing)
177
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,936
-(door slams)
-(sobbing continues)
178
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,563
Cornelius!
179
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,316
Barnaby!
180
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,818
Barnaby!
181
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,529
Cornelius!
182
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,072
Barnaby!
183
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,909
(stamping)
184
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,705
You stamped, Mr. Vandergelder?
185
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,124
-HORACE: Yes, I stamped.
-(bag clatters)
186
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,126
Are my niece's bags
at the railroad station?
187
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,169
Yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
188
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:16,754
And you, did you label them properly?
189
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,380
-Yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
-Good. Now look,
190
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,883
I'm going to New York today
on important business,
191
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,927
then I'll be marching
in the 14th Street Parade.
192
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:23,928
Yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
193
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,639
I'm planning to stay overnight
at the Central Hotel.
194
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:29,058
We've never been here alone,
Mr. Vandergelder.
195
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,936
Now, in honor of the occasion,
I'm going to promote you both.
196
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:36,357
-Cornelius, how old are you?
-28 and 3/4, Mr. Vandergelder.
197
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,650
Is that all?
198
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,819
-(cash register dings)
-That's a foolish age to be at.
199
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:41,362
I thought you were 40.
200
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:44,698
No. I'm 28 and 3/4.
201
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:47,493
Well, a man's not worth a cent
until he's 40.
202
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,246
We just pay him wages until then
to make mistakes.
203
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,331
Anyway, I've decided to
promote you to chief clerk.
204
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:53,958
-Chief clerk?
-Yes.
205
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:55,376
What am I now?
206
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,628
You're an impertinent fool,
that's what you are!
207
00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:58,754
Now, if you behave yourself,
208
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,048
I'll promote you from
impertinent fool to chief clerk,
209
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,633
with a raise in your wages.
210
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:05,719
Oh, thank you, Mr. Vandergelder.
211
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:06,887
HORACE:
You, Barnaby,
212
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,723
I'm promoting you from idiot apprentice
to incompetent clerk.
213
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,225
BARNABY:
Thank you, Mr. Vandergelder.
214
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,686
CORNELIUS:
Mr. Vandergelder? Mr. Vandergelder?
215
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:14,728
Well, what is it?
216
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:18,440
Does a chief clerk get
one evening off a week?
217
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,943
So that's the way you thank me
for your promotion, eh?
218
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:24,071
No, sir! You'll attend
to the store as usual!
219
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:25,823
An evening free.
220
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,908
You keep on asking for evenings free,
221
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,952
and you'll find yourself
with all your days free.
222
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,704
-Remember that.
-CORNELIUS: Yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
223
00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:32,746
And listen, when I come back,
224
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,207
I want to hear that you've run the
place perfectly in my absence.
225
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,626
If I hear of any foolishness,
I'll discharge you both.
226
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:38,669
BOTH: Yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
227
00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:40,296
You might as well know it now.
228
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:41,422
When I return from New York,
229
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,340
there are going to be
some changes around here.
230
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,300
Changes?
231
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,676
Yes, you're going to have a mistress.
232
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:48,137
I'm too young, Mr. Vandergelder.
233
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:52,516
Not yours, idiot. Mine.
234
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,060
I mean I'm planning to get married.
235
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,187
-Married?
-Yes, married. Any objections?
236
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,397
-Well, no, but--
-No.
237
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,774
Many congratulations, Mr. Vandergelder,
238
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:01,859
and to the lady, too.
239
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:02,943
That's none of your business.
240
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,154
-Any further questions?
-No, but--
241
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:06,196
-But what?
-But I mean--
242
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,198
-But what? What? Speak up! What?
-Why?
243
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:11,452
-Why what, damn it? Speak up!
-Why are you getting married?
244
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,331
Let me tell you something, son.
245
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:19,251
I've worked hard, and I've become rich
246
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:20,961
and friendless and mean.
247
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:23,672
And in America,
248
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,759
that's about
as far as you can go.
249
00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:28,594
(horse whinnies)
250
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:34,183
It's time to be doing something
a little bit foolish.
251
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:37,603
Besides, I need a steady housekeeper.
252
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,981
♪ It takes a woman ♪
253
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,316
♪ All powdered and pink ♪
254
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:45,319
♪ To joyously clean out ♪
255
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:47,112
♪ The drain in the sink ♪
256
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,657
♪ And it takes an angel ♪
257
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,825
♪ With long, golden lashes ♪
258
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:54,244
♪ And soft Dresden fingers ♪
259
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:57,581
♪ For dumping the ashes ♪
260
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,668
♪ Yes, it takes a woman ♪
261
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,711
♪ A dainty woman ♪
262
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,714
♪ A sweetheart, a mistress, a wife ♪
263
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,259
♪ Oh, yes it takes a woman ♪
264
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:11,470
♪ A fragile woman ♪
265
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:15,015
♪ To bring you the sweet things in life ♪
266
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,187
♪ The frail young maiden ♪
267
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:22,398
♪ Who's constantly there ♪
268
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,483
♪ For washing and bluing ♪
269
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:26,568
♪ And shoeing the mare ♪
270
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,946
♪ And it takes a female ♪
271
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:31,198
♪ For setting the table ♪
272
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:33,742
♪ And weaning the Guernsey ♪
273
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:37,204
♪ And cleaning the stable ♪
274
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:39,999
♪ Yes, it takes a woman ♪
275
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,959
♪ A dainty woman ♪
276
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:45,087
♪ A sweetheart, a mistress, a wife ♪
277
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,674
♪ Oh, yes it takes a woman ♪
278
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:50,801
♪ A fragile woman ♪
279
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,971
♪ To bring you the sweet things in life ♪
280
00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:01,228
♪ And so she'll work ♪
281
00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:06,442
♪ Until infinity ♪
282
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:10,154
♪ Three cheers for ♪
283
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:15,200
♪ Femininity ♪
284
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:17,911
(whinnies)
285
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,122
♪ God bless ♪
286
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:27,171
♪ Fe-mi-ni-ni-ty ♪
287
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,382
♪ And in the winter ♪
288
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,718
♪ She'll shovel the ice ♪
289
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,803
♪ And lovingly set out ♪
290
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,597
♪ The traps for the mice ♪
291
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,475
♪ She's a joy and treasure ♪
292
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,769
♪ For, practically speaking ♪
293
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:47,775
♪ To whom can you turn
when the plumbing is leaking ♪
294
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:50,110
♪ To ♪
295
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,487
♪ That ♪
296
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,781
♪ Dainty woman ♪
297
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:56,283
♪ That fragile woman ♪
298
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:59,161
♪ That sweetheart, that mistress ♪
299
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,537
♪ That wife ♪
300
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:05,459
♪ That womanly wife ♪
301
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,962
♪ Oh, yes it takes a woman ♪
302
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:11,381
♪ A husky woman ♪
303
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:16,595
♪ To bring you the sweet things in life ♪
304
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:19,306
♪ Oh, yes it takes a woman ♪
305
00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:21,475
♪ A dainty woman ♪
306
00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:25,145
♪ A sweetheart, a mistress, a wife ♪
307
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,940
♪ Oh, yes it takes a woman ♪
308
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:30,067
♪ A fragile woman ♪
309
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,194
♪ To bring you the sweet things ♪
310
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:36,448
♪ In li-i-i-i-ife ♪
311
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:38,992
DOLLY: Well, well, well, well, well.
312
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:41,537
Good morning, Mr. Vandergelder.
313
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,332
Mr. Hackl. Mr. Tucker.
314
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:46,959
Gentlemen.
315
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,752
ALL: Good morning, Mrs. Levi.
316
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:53,257
-Uh, morning, Mrs. Levi.
-Oh. How handsome you look today.
317
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:55,843
Ooh. You absolutely take my breath away.
318
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,970
Ermengarde's upstairs crying her eyes out.
319
00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:00,389
You can take her to New York
now, but blow her nose first.
320
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:03,016
If only Irene Molloy could see you now.
321
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,768
HORACE:
Uh, find someplace else to loaf!
322
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:07,479
-And you two get back to the store! Go on!
-TOGETHER: Yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
323
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,314
HORACE: And don't forget to put
the lid on the sheep dip!
324
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,984
I don't know what's come over you lately,
325
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,444
but you seem to be growing
younger every day.
326
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:17,531
Well, if a man eats careful,
327
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:19,199
there's no reason why he should look old.
328
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,868
DOLLY:
You never said a truer word.
329
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:25,038
Even if I never see 40-- uh, 35 again.
330
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:25,998
Thirty-five.
331
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,624
Why I can see at a glance
that you're the sort
332
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,502
that'll be stamping about at 100
eating five meals a day
333
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:33,088
just like, what's his name,
my Uncle Harry, may he rest in peace.
334
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,048
Let me see your hand, Mr. Vandergelder.
335
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,175
Oh, show me your hand.
336
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,468
-Why?
-Well, I'm a judge of hands. I read hands.
337
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:40,971
-And I use them to get things done.
-Oh, my!
338
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,014
-What? What?
-Lord in heaven!
339
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:43,348
-Goodness gracious!
-What?
340
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:44,850
-Oh, I just can't believe it!
-What, what?
341
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:47,019
-Such a long lifeline.
-Where?
342
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,438
Oh, from here to here. (chuckles)
I don't know where it goes.
343
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,064
It runs right off your hand.
344
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:53,317
They'll have to hit you
over the head with a mallet.
345
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,569
They'll have to stifle you
with a sofa pillow.
346
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,696
-You will bury us all.
-I will?
347
00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,406
-Say--
-Yes?
348
00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:03,243
-You're all spiffed-up today, aren't you?
-Yes.
349
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:06,455
And not for the benefit
of this smelly horse either.
350
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,457
-Well--
-Well, if I had a guess,
351
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,792
I'd say you was goin' somewhere.
352
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,173
Remarkable, Mrs. Levi. How do you do it?
353
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,176
Two and two is four, Mr. Vandergelder.
354
00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:22,012
With a head like yours,
you should be a rich woman someday.
355
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,139
That's exactly what I had in mind.
356
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,725
Then I suggest that you
go about your business
357
00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:27,935
and pick up Ermengarde,
358
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,269
for which I'm paying you good money.
359
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:32,356
Oh. Speaking of business,
Mr. Vandergelder,
360
00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:34,399
um, I suppose
you've changed your mind again
361
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,943
and given up all idea of getting married?
362
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,611
-Is that what you suppose?
-Uh-huh.
363
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,906
Then suppose you listen
to this, Mrs. Levi.
364
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:42,157
I've decided--
365
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,953
I've practically decided
to ask Irene Molloy to be my wife.
366
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,665
-You have?
-Yes, I have.
367
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:52,751
I'm going to New York and discuss it
with her this very afternoon.
368
00:20:55,170 --> 00:21:00,175
Well, that is just about the best news
I have ever heard, Mr. Vandergelder.
369
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,302
Oh, yes, indeed, marvelous news.
370
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,096
Oh, dear me. Isn't it wonderful though?
371
00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:05,806
I mean, I'm racking my brain here.
372
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,558
I'm trying to think of something that
I've heard that has made me happier,
373
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:09,851
but I just can't come up with a thing,
374
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:12,437
because this is just too wonderful--
It really is.
375
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,898
Well, it--
it's all your fault, you know.
376
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,942
You put me into this marrying
frame of mind
377
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:19,486
with all your
introductions and your scheming.
378
00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:21,154
A poor widow has to earn a living.
379
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:24,658
One morning I wake up and suddenly
the whole house seems like an empty shell.
380
00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:26,535
-It certainly is.
-And pretty messy too.
381
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:27,494
It certainly is.
382
00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:30,247
A man needs someone
to take out the garbage.
383
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:32,833
And Irene Molloy's just the one to do it.
384
00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:34,209
Oh, darling girl.
385
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,086
Well, I think it's perfectly wonderful
386
00:21:36,169 --> 00:21:38,297
what's gonna happen in your household,
Mr. Vandergelder.
387
00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:42,843
I never did like the idea of, uh,
all that, uh, all that money of yours
388
00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:45,053
lying around in great piles in the bank,
389
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,847
so useless and motionless.
390
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:49,182
As my late husband
Ephraim Levi used to say,
391
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:52,019
"Money-- money should circulate
like rainwater.
392
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:54,688
"It should be flowing
down among the people,
393
00:21:54,771 --> 00:21:57,482
"through little dressmakers
and cabmen and restaurants.
394
00:21:57,566 --> 00:22:00,444
Setting up a little business here,
furnishing a good time over there."
395
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:03,405
Oh, I just know that you and the future
Mrs. Vandergelder
396
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:05,991
will see that all your hard-earned wealth
397
00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:09,161
starts flowing in and around
many people's lives.
398
00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:10,454
-Just flowing.
-All right.
399
00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:12,331
-Pouring out.
-Stop saying that!
400
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:13,790
So I guess there's nothing more
for me to do now
401
00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,542
but wish you every happiness under the sun
402
00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:18,462
-and say good-bye, Mr. Vandergelder.
-Yes, well, good-bye.
403
00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:19,671
And when I get back to New York,
404
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:21,048
I'll just tell the other girl
I had lined up for you,
405
00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:22,215
the heiress, not to wait.
406
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:24,009
What did you say?
407
00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:27,137
Oh, nothing, nothing. A word--heiress.
408
00:22:27,220 --> 00:22:28,722
Well, just a minute. That's, uh--
409
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:32,267
That's kind of unusual,
isn't it, Mrs. Levi?
410
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,269
Well, I haven't been
wearing myself to the bone
411
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,521
hunting up usual girls
to interest you, Mr. Vandergelder.
412
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:38,315
But now, of course, all that's too late.
413
00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:41,276
-You're engaged to marry Irene Molloy.
-I am not engaged.
414
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,654
I cannot keep upsetting and disturbing
the finest women in New York City
415
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:45,864
unless you mean business.
416
00:22:45,947 --> 00:22:46,865
Who said I don't mean business?
417
00:22:46,948 --> 00:22:47,949
Well, I hope you do,
418
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:49,659
because you're playing
a very dangerous game, you know.
419
00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:51,370
-Dangerous?
-Well, of course it's dangerous.
420
00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:54,081
It's called, uh, tampering
with a woman's affections,
421
00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:57,000
and the only way you can save yourself
from that charge, Mr. Vandergelder,
422
00:22:57,084 --> 00:23:01,296
is to get married to someone soon,
very soon.
423
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,632
-Don't worry.
-I won't.
424
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:07,052
I'll meet you on the bench in front of
Irene Molloy's hat shop at 2:30 as usual.
425
00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:09,012
Never mind. You don't have to.
You've already done your work.
426
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:10,847
Oh, but I wouldn't miss it for the world.
427
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:13,350
I want to be there to make sure
that nothing goes wrong.
428
00:23:13,433 --> 00:23:15,310
Just tend to Ermengarde,
and take her to New York,
429
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,687
or else I'll ask you to
return the fee I gave you for that.
430
00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:19,481
-Speaking of money--
-Oh, no.
431
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:20,774
-I almost forgot to tell you--
-How much?
432
00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:22,359
Well, it seems that I left
my return railroad ticket
433
00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:23,819
and all my money in my other handbag,
434
00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:26,363
which I took to the cleaners the other day
just before it burned down-- 50?
435
00:23:26,446 --> 00:23:28,532
-Fifty?
-Twenty. Oh, bless you.
436
00:23:28,615 --> 00:23:32,202
And don't you worry your handsome head
about a thing, Mr. Vandergelder.
437
00:23:32,285 --> 00:23:35,205
Just keep all your thoughts
on that lovely Irene Molloy.
438
00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:36,665
(tongue clicks)
439
00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:39,084
♪♪
440
00:23:44,297 --> 00:23:46,007
(bicycle bell dings)
441
00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:48,385
(dings)
442
00:23:58,228 --> 00:24:02,357
♪ It takes a woman ♪
443
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:06,736
♪ To quietly plan ♪
444
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:10,949
♪ To take him and change him ♪
445
00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:15,620
♪ To her kind of man ♪
446
00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:18,165
♪ And to ♪
447
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:22,586
♪ Gently lead him ♪
448
00:24:22,669 --> 00:24:27,799
♪ Where fortune can find him ♪
449
00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:31,178
♪ And not let him know ♪
450
00:24:31,261 --> 00:24:37,434
♪ That the power behind him ♪
451
00:24:37,517 --> 00:24:40,312
♪ Was that ♪
452
00:24:40,395 --> 00:24:45,984
♪ Dainty woman ♪
453
00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:52,491
♪ That fragile woman ♪
454
00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:56,161
♪ That sweetheart ♪
455
00:24:56,244 --> 00:24:59,581
♪ That mistress ♪
456
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:01,833
♪ That--♪
457
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,126
Wife.
458
00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:06,588
♪♪
459
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,469
(humming)
460
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:25,732
♪ Da, da, da dum ♪
461
00:25:25,815 --> 00:25:29,027
♪ Da, da, da dum ♪
462
00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:32,906
(sighs) If he had any taste at all,
463
00:25:34,074 --> 00:25:36,284
he'd have the shutters done over in green.
464
00:25:36,993 --> 00:25:38,578
Mmm.
465
00:25:38,662 --> 00:25:41,331
Forest-green shutters.
466
00:25:41,414 --> 00:25:43,375
ERMENGARDE: What are you doing? Ambrose!
467
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:46,378
-AMBROSE: Get your things. Hurry!
-Get that away from here! If my uncle--
468
00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:47,963
AMBROSE: He's not here. He just left.
469
00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:50,298
-Now, quick. We're running away.
-Running away?
470
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:52,259
AMBROSE:
Will you hurry before the train gets here?
471
00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:53,468
-Train?
-To New York.
472
00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:55,887
To get married. We're going to elope.
473
00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:58,390
ERMENGARDE:
Elope? How can you use such an awful word?
474
00:25:58,473 --> 00:26:00,433
Oh, Ermengarde.
475
00:26:00,517 --> 00:26:02,602
My, what a romantic scene.
476
00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:03,728
ERMENGARDE:
Oh, Mrs. Levi,
477
00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:07,107
please explain to Ambrose,
I want to marry him but not elope!
478
00:26:07,190 --> 00:26:08,608
This doesn't concern Mrs. Levi.
479
00:26:08,692 --> 00:26:10,694
Mr. Kemper, everything
concerns Dolly Levi.
480
00:26:10,777 --> 00:26:13,405
Don't listen to her.
I know why you're here.
481
00:26:13,488 --> 00:26:15,949
DOLLY: To help you, and love needs
all the help it can get.
482
00:26:16,032 --> 00:26:17,659
-AMBROSE: Get your things and climb out.
-Wait a minute.
483
00:26:17,742 --> 00:26:19,327
-Now, listen to me, both of you.
-There's no time.
484
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:20,954
Mr. Kemper, do you mind if we climb in?
485
00:26:21,037 --> 00:26:22,706
I'm feeling an updraft in my underpants.
486
00:26:22,789 --> 00:26:25,000
-Oh, Mrs. Levi!
-This is no way to elope.
487
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:26,501
DOLLY: If you follow my suggestions,
488
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:28,920
not only will Horace Vandergelder
give you permission to get married,
489
00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:30,338
but he will also dance at your wedding,
490
00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,173
and not alone either.
491
00:26:32,257 --> 00:26:33,466
-Mr. Kemper?
-AMBROSE: Yes?
492
00:26:33,550 --> 00:26:34,759
-Can you dance?
-Dance?
493
00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:37,596
-Yes, dance.
-I'm an artist, Mrs. Levi. I paint.
494
00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:38,680
No problem.
495
00:26:38,763 --> 00:26:40,932
"Mrs. Dolly Levi:
Painters Taught How to Dance."
496
00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:42,100
Now, here's what we'll do.
497
00:26:42,183 --> 00:26:44,269
Ermengarde, I'm gonna take you to New York
as your uncle requested--
498
00:26:44,352 --> 00:26:45,395
AMBROSE: You see? I told you!
499
00:26:45,478 --> 00:26:46,980
-You, Mr. Kemper, will stay close by.
-I will?
500
00:26:47,063 --> 00:26:49,190
Tonight, you will take her to dinner
at the Harmonia Gardens restaurant.
501
00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:50,942
-For what?
-DOLLY: There's this man there.
502
00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:52,819
Rudolph Reisenweber.
He knows me well.
503
00:26:52,902 --> 00:26:54,821
We'll enter you and Ermengarde
in the polka contest.
504
00:26:54,904 --> 00:26:57,616
-ERMENGARDE: The polka contest?
-The prize is a gold cup and some money.
505
00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:58,825
And you'll win it. We'll see to that.
506
00:26:58,908 --> 00:27:01,244
Oh! The cups we won, my husband and I.
507
00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:02,203
Now wait a minute.
508
00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:05,040
I'm surprised that you have acquaintances
in a place like that, Mrs. Levi.
509
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:08,335
Not acquaintances, Ermengarde. Friends.
510
00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:11,630
Dear friends from days gone by.
511
00:27:11,713 --> 00:27:14,633
My late husband Ephraim Levi
believed in life,
512
00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:16,051
anyplace you could find it,
513
00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:19,095
wherever there were people,
all kinds of people.
514
00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:23,266
And every Friday night,
even when times were bad--
515
00:27:23,350 --> 00:27:26,394
every Friday night, like clockwork,
516
00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:31,524
down those stairs of the Harmonia Gardens
we came, Ephraim and I.
517
00:27:33,526 --> 00:27:36,655
Not acquaintances, Ermengarde. Friends.
518
00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:38,740
It's all very well for you, Mrs. Levi,
519
00:27:38,823 --> 00:27:40,408
but you're suggesting
that Ermengarde and I--
520
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:42,827
Mr. Kemper, do you or do you not wish
to show Horace Vandergelder
521
00:27:42,911 --> 00:27:44,704
-that you two mean business?
-BOTH: Yes!
522
00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:45,789
DOLLY: Well, all right then.
523
00:27:45,872 --> 00:27:47,457
You must go to the
Harmonia Gardens restaurant
524
00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:49,250
and say that Mrs. Levi sent you.
525
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:53,546
And, oh, yes, well, uh, tell Rudolph--
526
00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:56,925
-Tell Rudolph that Dolly's coming back.
-Dolly's coming back.
527
00:27:57,008 --> 00:27:59,469
Yes. I want a table for two
and stuffed chicken for 8:00.
528
00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:00,428
AMBROSE: 8:00.
529
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,597
Mr. Vandergelder will learn
of your triumph in the polka contest
530
00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:04,808
and everything will work out beautifully.
531
00:28:04,891 --> 00:28:07,143
But how, Mrs. Levi? How?
532
00:28:07,227 --> 00:28:10,105
How? (laughs)
533
00:28:10,188 --> 00:28:11,773
Ohh.
534
00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:16,152
28 and 3/4 years old,
and I still don't get an evening free.
535
00:28:16,236 --> 00:28:18,279
When am I gonna begin to live?
536
00:28:21,574 --> 00:28:25,912
-Barnaby, how much money have you got?
-Huh?
537
00:28:25,995 --> 00:28:29,874
-I mean, that you can get your hands on?
-About $3.00. Why?
538
00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:34,129
(chuckles) Barnaby, you and I
are going to New York!
539
00:28:34,212 --> 00:28:36,798
BARNABY:
Cornelius, we can't! Close the store?
540
00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:40,760
We'll have to, 'cause some rotten cans
of chicken mash are going to explode.
541
00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:42,595
Holy cabooses! How do you know?
542
00:28:42,679 --> 00:28:44,514
'Cause I'm gonna light
some candles under them.
543
00:28:44,597 --> 00:28:45,974
-You are?
-They'll make such a stink
544
00:28:46,057 --> 00:28:48,852
that customers won't be able
to come in this place for 24 hours!
545
00:28:48,935 --> 00:28:50,520
That'll get us an evening free.
546
00:28:50,603 --> 00:28:53,523
We are going to New York, Barnaby,
and we are gonna live!
547
00:28:53,606 --> 00:28:56,151
We're gonna have a good meal.
We're gonna be in danger.
548
00:28:56,234 --> 00:28:59,028
We're gonna get almost arrested,
and we're gonna spend all our money!
549
00:28:59,112 --> 00:29:01,531
-Holy cabooses!
-And one more thing.
550
00:29:01,948 --> 00:29:06,327
We are not coming back to Yonkers
until we've each kissed a girl.
551
00:29:07,245 --> 00:29:10,999
Cornelius, you can't do that.
You don't know any girls.
552
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,918
I'm 28 and 3/4.
553
00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:16,379
I got to begin sometime.
554
00:29:16,671 --> 00:29:18,757
I'm only 19 and a half.
555
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:20,800
With me, it's not so urgent.
556
00:29:20,884 --> 00:29:23,094
May I make a suggestion, gentlemen?
557
00:29:23,178 --> 00:29:24,345
CORNELIUS: Mrs. Levi.
558
00:29:25,263 --> 00:29:26,890
I just couldn't help hearing.
559
00:29:26,973 --> 00:29:29,851
-We'll be fired.
-We were only talking!
560
00:29:29,934 --> 00:29:32,604
Mr. Hackl, Mr. Tucker,
561
00:29:32,687 --> 00:29:34,689
there is nothing that makes me happier
562
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:37,776
than the thought of two fine young men
such as yourselves
563
00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:40,361
enjoying the company of two lovely ladies.
564
00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:43,114
What ladies? Where?
565
00:29:43,198 --> 00:29:44,491
In New York, Mr. Hackl,
566
00:29:44,574 --> 00:29:47,368
to which, unless my ears
play me tricks, you are bound.
567
00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:51,998
Now, there's this millinery shop
run by a charming woman.
568
00:29:52,081 --> 00:29:52,957
"Irene Molloy."
569
00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:55,627
DOLLY: And her most attractive
assistant, Miss Minnie Fay.
570
00:29:55,710 --> 00:29:56,711
Holy cabooses!
571
00:29:56,795 --> 00:29:58,505
And now that you've noted the address,
572
00:29:58,588 --> 00:30:00,048
I have only this to say--
573
00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:01,758
2:00 in the afternoon there
574
00:30:01,841 --> 00:30:04,552
is the ideal time
for friendly conversation.
575
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,429
Definitely no later than 2:30.
576
00:30:06,513 --> 00:30:09,307
And if you ever say that
this was my suggestion,
577
00:30:09,390 --> 00:30:13,561
well, I shall denounce you both
for the terrible liars that you are.
578
00:30:13,853 --> 00:30:15,021
(door slams)
579
00:30:15,104 --> 00:30:16,689
♪♪
580
00:30:18,149 --> 00:30:20,026
A millinery shop.
581
00:30:20,109 --> 00:30:21,694
Women who work.
582
00:30:21,778 --> 00:30:24,030
-Adventure, Barnaby.
-I'm scared.
583
00:30:24,113 --> 00:30:26,241
-Living, Barnaby!
-I'm scared.
584
00:30:26,324 --> 00:30:29,786
-Will you come, Barnaby?
-Yes, Cornelius! Yes!
585
00:30:29,869 --> 00:30:32,872
CORNELIUS:
The lights of Broadway, elevated trains,
586
00:30:32,956 --> 00:30:34,916
the stuffed whale at Barnum's Museum!
587
00:30:34,999 --> 00:30:38,044
Stuffed whale. Wow!
588
00:30:38,461 --> 00:30:41,047
Women who work! Wow!
589
00:30:41,130 --> 00:30:42,841
All clear up here, Cornelius!
590
00:30:43,258 --> 00:30:46,010
You gonna light 'em all?
Hey, Cornelius, look out!
591
00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:47,095
That bottom row, they're--
592
00:30:47,178 --> 00:30:49,055
They're swelled up
like they're ready to bust!
593
00:30:49,138 --> 00:30:50,598
(explosion)
594
00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:52,892
Holy cabooses! What a smell!
595
00:30:52,976 --> 00:30:56,104
Let's get dressed, Barnaby!
We're going to New York!
596
00:30:58,273 --> 00:30:59,899
♪ Out there ♪
597
00:30:59,983 --> 00:31:02,944
♪ There's a world outside of Yonkers ♪
598
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:07,490
♪ Way out there beyond
this hick town, Barnaby ♪
599
00:31:08,157 --> 00:31:12,287
♪ There's a slick town Barnaby ♪
600
00:31:12,370 --> 00:31:14,205
♪ Out there ♪
601
00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:17,458
♪ Full of shine and full of sparkle ♪
602
00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:22,881
♪ Close your eyes
and see it glisten, Barnaby ♪
603
00:31:23,673 --> 00:31:26,509
♪ Listen, Barnaby ♪
604
00:31:26,593 --> 00:31:28,428
(explosions)
605
00:31:32,557 --> 00:31:34,017
♪ Put on your Sunday clothes ♪
606
00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:37,395
♪ There's lots of world out there ♪
607
00:31:37,478 --> 00:31:41,399
♪ Get out the brilliantine
and dime cigars ♪
608
00:31:42,358 --> 00:31:47,280
♪ We're gonna find adventure
in the evening air ♪
609
00:31:47,363 --> 00:31:49,407
♪ Girls in white in a perfumed night ♪
610
00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:52,285
♪ Where the lights are bright
as the stars ♪
611
00:31:52,368 --> 00:31:54,037
♪ Put on your Sunday clothes ♪
612
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:57,415
♪ We're gonna ride through town ♪
613
00:31:57,498 --> 00:32:01,961
♪ In one of those new
horse-drawn open cars ♪
614
00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:04,672
♪ We'll see the shows at Delmonico's ♪
615
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:07,091
♪ And we'll close the town in a whirl ♪
616
00:32:07,175 --> 00:32:11,679
♪ And we won't come home
until we've kissed a girl ♪
617
00:32:12,639 --> 00:32:17,727
♪ Put on your Sunday clothes
when you feel down and out ♪
618
00:32:17,810 --> 00:32:22,857
♪ Strut down the street
and have your picture took ♪
619
00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:27,403
♪ Dressed like a dream
your spirits seem to turn about ♪
620
00:32:27,487 --> 00:32:30,323
♪ That Sunday shine is a certain sign ♪
621
00:32:30,406 --> 00:32:33,451
♪ That you feel as fine as you look ♪
622
00:32:33,534 --> 00:32:37,997
♪ Beneath your parasol
the world is all a smile ♪
623
00:32:38,081 --> 00:32:43,169
♪ That makes you feel brand-new
down to your toes ♪
624
00:32:43,252 --> 00:32:45,672
♪ Get out your feathers
your patent leathers ♪
625
00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:48,216
♪ Your beads and buckles and bows ♪
626
00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:51,427
♪ For there's no blue Monday
in your Sunday ♪
627
00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:53,638
♪ No Monday in your Sunday ♪
628
00:32:53,721 --> 00:32:57,976
♪ No Monday in your Sunday clothes ♪
629
00:32:58,851 --> 00:33:03,564
♪ Put on your Sunday clothes
when you feel down and out ♪
630
00:33:04,148 --> 00:33:07,652
♪ Strut down the street
and have your picture took ♪
631
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:13,574
♪ Dressed like a dream
your spirits seem to turn about ♪
632
00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:16,411
♪ That Sunday shine is a certain sign ♪
633
00:33:16,494 --> 00:33:18,746
♪ That you feel as fine as you look ♪
634
00:33:19,372 --> 00:33:24,043
♪ Beneath your parasol
the world is all a smile ♪
635
00:33:24,627 --> 00:33:28,464
♪ That makes you feel brand-new
down to your toes ♪
636
00:33:29,048 --> 00:33:31,509
-♪ Get out your feathers ♪
-♪ Your patent leathers ♪
637
00:33:31,592 --> 00:33:33,845
♪ Your beads and buckles and bows ♪
638
00:33:33,928 --> 00:33:39,308
♪ For there's no blue Monday
in your Sunday clothes ♪
639
00:33:39,392 --> 00:33:41,894
♪♪
640
00:34:00,246 --> 00:34:05,126
CHILDREN: ♪ Put on your Sunday clothes
when you feel down and out ♪
641
00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:09,505
♪ Strut down the street
and have your picture took ♪
642
00:34:10,923 --> 00:34:15,303
♪ Dressed like a dream
your spirits seem to turn about ♪
643
00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:17,930
♪ That Sunday shine is a certain sign ♪
644
00:34:18,014 --> 00:34:20,516
♪ That you feel as fine as you look ♪
645
00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:25,938
♪ Beneath your bowler brim
the world's a simple song ♪
646
00:34:26,022 --> 00:34:30,651
♪ A lovely lilt that
makes you tilt your nose ♪
647
00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:32,612
-(whistle blows)
-♪ Get out your slickers ♪
648
00:34:33,446 --> 00:34:34,906
♪ Your flannel knickers ♪
649
00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:38,201
♪ Your red suspenders and hose ♪
650
00:34:38,284 --> 00:34:41,329
♪ For there's no blue Monday ♪
651
00:34:43,664 --> 00:34:46,292
♪ In your Sunday ♪
652
00:34:48,503 --> 00:34:51,422
♪ No blue Monday ♪
653
00:34:51,506 --> 00:34:55,426
♪ In your Sunday clothes ♪
654
00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:03,017
Ermengarde, keep smiling.
No man wants a little ninny.
655
00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:05,061
Ambrose, do a turn, let me see.
656
00:35:05,645 --> 00:35:08,940
Mr. Hackl, Mr. Tucker,
don't forget Irene and Minnie.
657
00:35:09,023 --> 00:35:11,192
Just forget you ever heard a word from me.
658
00:35:11,275 --> 00:35:12,193
(whistle blows)
659
00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:13,528
-♪ All aboard ♪
-♪ All aboard ♪
660
00:35:13,611 --> 00:35:15,279
-♪ All aboard ♪
-♪ All aboard ♪
661
00:35:15,363 --> 00:35:21,577
-♪ All aboard ♪
-♪ All aboard, all aboard, all aboard ♪
662
00:35:21,661 --> 00:35:23,913
♪ Put on your Sunday clothes ♪
663
00:35:23,996 --> 00:35:28,126
♪ There's lots of world out there ♪
664
00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:33,840
♪ Put on your silk cravat
and patent shoes ♪
665
00:35:33,923 --> 00:35:39,470
♪ We're gonna find adventure
in the evening air ♪
666
00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:42,348
♪ To town we'll trot to a smoky spot ♪
667
00:35:42,431 --> 00:35:45,601
♪ Where the girls are hot as a fuse ♪
668
00:35:46,018 --> 00:35:51,899
♪ Put on your silk high hat
and at the turned-up cuff ♪
669
00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:54,610
♪ We'll wear a handmade
gray suede, buttoned glove ♪
670
00:35:54,694 --> 00:35:57,363
♪ You're gonna take New York by storm ♪
671
00:35:57,446 --> 00:36:00,575
♪ We'll join the Astors at Tony Pastor's ♪
672
00:36:00,658 --> 00:36:03,161
♪ And this I'm positive of ♪
673
00:36:03,244 --> 00:36:06,372
-(whistle blows)
-♪ That we won't come home ♪
674
00:36:06,455 --> 00:36:09,417
♪ No, we won't come home ♪
675
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:12,253
♪ No, we won't come home ♪
676
00:36:12,336 --> 00:36:14,046
♪ Until ♪
677
00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:15,590
♪ We fall ♪
678
00:36:15,673 --> 00:36:16,883
♪ In ♪
679
00:36:16,966 --> 00:36:23,472
♪ Love ♪
680
00:36:28,352 --> 00:36:30,646
(whistle blows)
681
00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:35,985
Do get done with that, Minnie.
682
00:36:36,068 --> 00:36:38,196
The men are eyeing us
for the wrong reason.
683
00:36:38,279 --> 00:36:39,989
A banana a day keeps the doctor away.
684
00:36:40,072 --> 00:36:41,199
You mean an apple a day.
685
00:36:41,282 --> 00:36:43,451
Who ever heard of a doctor
slipping on an apple peel?
686
00:36:43,534 --> 00:36:44,785
How are you, Miss Molloy?
687
00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,913
If I felt any better,
I'd be positively indecent.
688
00:36:46,996 --> 00:36:49,165
-MINNIE: Oh, you are in a mood today.
-IRENE: Oh, I certainly am.
689
00:36:49,248 --> 00:36:50,416
-Paper?
-(Minnie giggles)
690
00:36:50,499 --> 00:36:52,793
(giggling continues)
691
00:36:52,877 --> 00:36:54,921
-Not that it's any of my business, but--
-Yes?
692
00:36:55,004 --> 00:36:56,505
But is it because-- I mean--
693
00:36:56,589 --> 00:36:58,925
Minnie, I don't mind that
you never finish your lunch,
694
00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:01,344
but I do mind that you never
finish your sentences.
695
00:37:01,427 --> 00:37:03,679
Well, what I meant was,
are you really going to--
696
00:37:03,763 --> 00:37:05,514
-I mean--
-Silly girl, say it.
697
00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:07,391
Am I going to marry Horace Vandergelder?
698
00:37:07,475 --> 00:37:10,269
Yes, I'm seriously considering it
if he asks me.
699
00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:12,188
Oh, Miss Molloy,
I'd rather die on the rack
700
00:37:12,271 --> 00:37:14,190
than ask you such a personal question,
701
00:37:14,273 --> 00:37:16,234
but as long as we're on the subject,
why would you? I mean--
702
00:37:16,317 --> 00:37:18,110
Because he's rich, Minnie, that's why.
703
00:37:18,194 --> 00:37:19,695
He can rescue me from
the millinery business.
704
00:37:19,779 --> 00:37:21,822
-I hate hats.
-Hate hats?
705
00:37:21,906 --> 00:37:24,367
Oh, good afternoon to you,
Officer Gogarty.
706
00:37:24,450 --> 00:37:25,576
(whistle blows)
707
00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:28,371
And the rest of the day
to you, Miss Molloy.
708
00:37:28,454 --> 00:37:29,872
Ah, Minnie, why is it that
709
00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:32,124
all the attractive men in New York
are married?
710
00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:34,669
Blarney, Miss Molloy! Blarney!
711
00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:36,587
-Come on now, get going! All of you!
-(giggling)
712
00:37:36,671 --> 00:37:38,714
(whistle blows)
713
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,218
(laughs) Oh, the way you talk!
714
00:37:42,301 --> 00:37:43,761
It's natural to talk about men.
715
00:37:43,844 --> 00:37:45,638
I mean, what you said about hating hats.
716
00:37:45,721 --> 00:37:48,557
Oh, not just hats.
Particularly the women who buy them.
717
00:37:48,641 --> 00:37:50,059
You don't mean that, Irene Molloy.
718
00:37:50,142 --> 00:37:51,227
Oh, yes, I do, Minnie Fay.
719
00:37:51,310 --> 00:37:53,854
All lady milliners are suspected
of being wicked women.
720
00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:55,189
Oh! Wicked women?
721
00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:57,316
Half the time those dowagers
who come into the shop
722
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,652
come in merely to stare at me
and wonder about me.
723
00:37:59,735 --> 00:38:00,861
MINNIE: Ooh. How dare they!
724
00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:02,363
And if they were certain
I was a wicked woman,
725
00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:03,948
they wouldn't set foot in the shop again.
726
00:38:04,031 --> 00:38:05,449
Well, good riddance. Who needs them?
727
00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:08,035
We do, unfortunately.
728
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:09,620
So do I go out to restaurants?
729
00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:11,831
No. It would be bad for business.
730
00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:14,458
Do I go to balls or theaters or operas?
731
00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:17,253
No. It would be bad for business.
732
00:38:17,712 --> 00:38:19,297
The only men I ever get to meet
733
00:38:19,380 --> 00:38:21,924
are the feather merchants
who come in here to sell me things.
734
00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:26,137
Minnie, I'm sick and tired of being
suspected of being a wicked woman
735
00:38:26,220 --> 00:38:27,972
with nothing to show for it.
736
00:38:28,055 --> 00:38:29,640
MINNIE (giggling):
Oh! Miss Molloy!
737
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:31,267
Why does everybody have adventures but me?
738
00:38:31,350 --> 00:38:32,351
Adventures?
739
00:38:32,435 --> 00:38:34,687
Because I have no spirit,
that's why. No gumption.
740
00:38:34,770 --> 00:38:37,773
Oh, either I marry Horace Vandergelder,
741
00:38:37,857 --> 00:38:41,110
or I'm gonna burn this shop down
and break out like a fire engine
742
00:38:41,193 --> 00:38:43,487
-and find myself some excitement.
-(giggles)
743
00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:46,407
The things you're saying today!
I think they're just awful.
744
00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:47,908
Oh, aren't they though?
745
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:49,702
And I'm enjoying every word of it.
746
00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:53,581
What's this? A return
from Miss Mortimer again?
747
00:38:53,664 --> 00:38:54,665
Same old story.
748
00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:57,001
She wants cherries and feathers,
cherries and feathers.
749
00:38:57,084 --> 00:38:58,794
To catch a beau, I suppose.
750
00:38:58,878 --> 00:39:01,630
If you ask me,
she'd do better with a heavy veil.
751
00:39:01,714 --> 00:39:04,550
(giggles)
Well, I told her ribbons down the back
752
00:39:04,633 --> 00:39:06,677
is the thing this summer
to catch a gentleman's eye.
753
00:39:06,761 --> 00:39:08,137
But she'd have none of it.
754
00:39:08,220 --> 00:39:09,305
Cherries and feathers she wants.
755
00:39:09,388 --> 00:39:11,557
Minnie, make another hat
for Miss Mortimer.
756
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:12,725
I'm wearing this one myself.
757
00:39:13,851 --> 00:39:16,103
-Oh, but you can't.
-Why not?
758
00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:18,647
Oh, because it's-- it's, uh, provocative.
759
00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:20,191
(giggles) That's why not.
760
00:39:20,274 --> 00:39:25,112
Well, who knows that provocative
isn't just what I might want to be today?
761
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:27,031
♪♪
762
00:39:27,114 --> 00:39:30,576
♪ I'll be wearing ribbons down my back ♪
763
00:39:30,659 --> 00:39:34,330
-♪ This summer ♪
-(giggles)
764
00:39:34,413 --> 00:39:40,795
♪ Blue and green and streaming
in the yellow sky ♪
765
00:39:41,629 --> 00:39:45,424
♪ So if someone special comes my way ♪
766
00:39:45,508 --> 00:39:49,220
♪ This summer ♪
767
00:39:49,303 --> 00:39:53,432
♪ He might notice me ♪
768
00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:58,771
♪ Passing by ♪
769
00:39:58,854 --> 00:40:01,565
♪ And so ♪
770
00:40:01,649 --> 00:40:07,863
♪ I'll try to make it easier to find me ♪
771
00:40:07,947 --> 00:40:13,786
♪ In the stillness of July ♪
772
00:40:13,869 --> 00:40:15,788
♪ Because ♪
773
00:40:15,871 --> 00:40:22,294
♪ A breeze might stir
a rainbow up behind me ♪
774
00:40:22,378 --> 00:40:25,631
♪ That might happen to catch ♪
775
00:40:25,714 --> 00:40:30,010
♪ The gentleman's eye ♪
776
00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:34,974
♪ And he might smile ♪
777
00:40:35,057 --> 00:40:38,185
♪ And take me by the hand ♪
778
00:40:38,269 --> 00:40:41,397
♪ This summer ♪
779
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,941
(giggles)
780
00:40:44,024 --> 00:40:47,695
♪ Making me recall ♪
781
00:40:47,778 --> 00:40:53,617
♪ How lovely love ♪
782
00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:59,874
♪ Can be ♪
783
00:40:59,957 --> 00:41:06,964
♪ And so I will proudly wear ♪
784
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:16,390
♪ Ribbons down my back ♪
785
00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:24,857
♪ Shining in my hair ♪
786
00:41:26,984 --> 00:41:32,865
♪ That he might ♪
787
00:41:32,948 --> 00:41:39,914
♪ Notice me ♪
788
00:41:43,876 --> 00:41:45,336
MINNIE:
Miss Molloy.
789
00:41:45,419 --> 00:41:47,755
You don't love
Horace Vandergelder, do you?
790
00:41:47,838 --> 00:41:50,090
Of course I don't love him.
791
00:41:50,174 --> 00:41:51,717
Then how-- how can you-- I mean--
792
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:55,054
Minnie, look.
There are two men staring at the shop.
793
00:41:55,137 --> 00:41:57,348
-Men?
-Uh-huh.
794
00:41:57,431 --> 00:42:00,184
-IRENE: Aren't they delicious?
-MINNIE: You don't think--
795
00:42:00,267 --> 00:42:01,352
I mean, it isn't possible
they're planning to--
796
00:42:01,435 --> 00:42:02,853
IRENE: Yes, I do believe
they mean to come in here.
797
00:42:02,937 --> 00:42:05,147
-Men in the shop! Oh, what'll we do?
-Do?
798
00:42:05,231 --> 00:42:07,316
Why, flirt with them, of course.
I'll give you the short one.
799
00:42:07,399 --> 00:42:09,276
Ooh, Miss Molloy, you're terrible!
800
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,195
We'll get them all heated up,
and then we'll drop them cold.
801
00:42:11,278 --> 00:42:12,530
It'll be good practice for married life.
802
00:42:12,613 --> 00:42:14,406
Let's go into the workroom
and pretty ourselves up a bit.
803
00:42:14,490 --> 00:42:16,659
-(giggles) You say vamp, I'll scream.
-Vamp.
804
00:42:16,742 --> 00:42:18,410
(screams, giggles)
805
00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:22,665
I must say I like the tall one.
806
00:42:24,458 --> 00:42:25,960
Adventure, Barnaby.
807
00:42:26,043 --> 00:42:28,587
We can still catch the train
back to Yonkers.
808
00:42:28,671 --> 00:42:31,173
Oh, I feel dizzy.
809
00:42:31,257 --> 00:42:33,884
Or go see the stuffed whale at the museum.
810
00:42:33,968 --> 00:42:35,427
Women, Barnaby.
811
00:42:36,136 --> 00:42:39,390
Stuffed women.
812
00:42:46,438 --> 00:42:48,107
There's no one here. We can leave.
813
00:42:49,608 --> 00:42:52,861
I'd never forgive myself.
(yelps)
814
00:42:53,821 --> 00:42:54,822
(chuckles)
815
00:42:54,905 --> 00:42:57,032
Are you sure this is
an adventure, Cornelius?
816
00:42:57,116 --> 00:42:58,576
You don't have to ask, Barnaby.
817
00:42:58,659 --> 00:43:00,411
When you're in one,
you'll know it all right.
818
00:43:00,494 --> 00:43:02,037
How much money have we got left?
819
00:43:02,121 --> 00:43:03,539
Forty cents for the train back,
820
00:43:03,622 --> 00:43:06,500
30 cents for dinner
and 20 cents to see the whale.
821
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:09,378
Well, when they come out,
we'll pretend we're rich.
822
00:43:09,461 --> 00:43:11,046
That way we won't have to spend anything.
823
00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:13,382
Well, why don't we just say
that Mrs. Levi sent us?
824
00:43:13,465 --> 00:43:16,218
No! We're not supposed
to ever say that! Shh!
825
00:43:16,677 --> 00:43:20,764
We're two men-about-town
looking for hats for ladies.
826
00:43:20,848 --> 00:43:22,099
What ladies?
827
00:43:23,142 --> 00:43:27,062
Good afternoon, ma'am.
Wonderful weather we're having.
828
00:43:27,146 --> 00:43:30,065
How do you do, ma'am?
And how are your hats?
829
00:43:30,149 --> 00:43:32,151
Charmed to make your acquaintance.
830
00:43:32,234 --> 00:43:33,652
A lovely place you have here.
831
00:43:33,736 --> 00:43:35,738
-Good afternoon, gentlemen.
-CORNELIUS: Hmm?
832
00:43:37,031 --> 00:43:38,699
(stammers)
833
00:43:39,533 --> 00:43:42,161
-Cornelius Hackl here.
-Barnaby Tucker here.
834
00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:44,705
Irene Molloy here.
835
00:43:46,081 --> 00:43:48,083
I'm very happy to meet you.
836
00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:50,836
Is there anything I can do for you?
837
00:43:54,340 --> 00:43:55,883
Oh!
838
00:43:57,259 --> 00:44:00,596
Well, you see, we're two ladies-about-town
lookin' for some hats to Molloy--
839
00:44:00,679 --> 00:44:01,972
We're hats, you see, and we wondered
840
00:44:02,056 --> 00:44:04,600
if we could buy a lady or two
to Molloy with for the after--
841
00:44:04,683 --> 00:44:06,935
(chuckles) We want a hat.
842
00:44:07,978 --> 00:44:09,605
Well, for a lady, of course.
843
00:44:09,688 --> 00:44:12,358
And everyone said to go to Miss Molloy's
'cause she's so pretty--
844
00:44:14,777 --> 00:44:17,529
I mean, her hats are so pretty.
845
00:44:17,613 --> 00:44:22,242
And what sort of hat
would Mrs. Hackl be liking?
846
00:44:23,118 --> 00:44:25,996
Oh, no, Miss Molloy,
there is no Mrs. Hackl.
847
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:27,706
Yes, there is. Your mother.
848
00:44:28,832 --> 00:44:32,628
She didn't mean that.
Did you, Miss Molloy?
849
00:44:33,087 --> 00:44:35,923
Now, this lady friend of yours,
850
00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:39,009
couldn't she come in with you someday
and choose the hat herself?
851
00:44:39,968 --> 00:44:42,513
Impossible. There is no lady friend.
852
00:44:43,555 --> 00:44:46,433
But I thought you said that
you were coming here to choose--
853
00:44:46,934 --> 00:44:48,102
I mean, she's Barnaby's.
854
00:44:48,185 --> 00:44:49,395
Huh? What?
855
00:44:50,854 --> 00:44:53,107
Yes, but-- but she lives in Yonkers,
856
00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:56,902
and she said to pick out
something reasonable under a dollar.
857
00:44:56,985 --> 00:44:58,153
Don't be silly, Barnaby.
858
00:44:58,237 --> 00:45:00,239
Money's no object with us. None at all.
859
00:45:00,322 --> 00:45:01,532
(Minnie coughing)
860
00:45:01,990 --> 00:45:04,743
IRENE: Oh, this is my assistant--
Miss Minnie Fay.
861
00:45:04,827 --> 00:45:06,286
Mr. Hackl, Mr. Tucker.
862
00:45:06,370 --> 00:45:09,998
-Good afternoon, ma'am.
-Afternoon, ma'am.
863
00:45:10,457 --> 00:45:12,710
(giggling)
864
00:45:15,421 --> 00:45:17,089
Excuse me, Mr. Tucker,
865
00:45:17,172 --> 00:45:19,508
did you say Yonkers?
866
00:45:19,591 --> 00:45:21,301
Yes, ma'am. We're from Yonkers.
867
00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:24,805
Well, are you?
868
00:45:24,888 --> 00:45:28,642
Yes. And forgive me for saying this,
869
00:45:28,726 --> 00:45:30,519
but you should see Yonkers, Miss Molloy.
870
00:45:31,270 --> 00:45:34,440
Well, by that I mean, perhaps you
and your gentleman friend here in New York
871
00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:36,108
might like to see it.
872
00:45:36,191 --> 00:45:38,819
Some say it's the most beautiful
town in the world.
873
00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:40,904
That's what they say.
874
00:45:40,988 --> 00:45:42,114
So I've heard,
875
00:45:42,197 --> 00:45:45,409
but I'm afraid I don't have
a gentleman friend here in New York.
876
00:45:45,492 --> 00:45:46,827
You don't?
877
00:45:46,910 --> 00:45:48,912
Barnaby, she doesn't
have a gentleman friend.
878
00:45:48,996 --> 00:45:51,540
(chuckles) Hey, that's too bad.
879
00:45:51,623 --> 00:45:54,001
You know, if you should happen
to have a Sunday free--
880
00:45:54,084 --> 00:45:55,753
You're Catholic, aren't you?
881
00:45:55,836 --> 00:45:58,005
Well, don't let that worry you.
I'd be willing to change.
882
00:45:58,464 --> 00:46:01,842
If you're free in the near future, I'd--
883
00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:07,514
Well, we'd like to show you Yonkers
from top to bottom.
884
00:46:07,598 --> 00:46:09,057
It's very historic.
885
00:46:09,141 --> 00:46:10,642
As a matter of fact, Mr. Hackl,
886
00:46:10,726 --> 00:46:12,436
I might be there sooner than you think.
887
00:46:12,519 --> 00:46:13,395
CORNELIUS: This Sunday?
888
00:46:13,479 --> 00:46:15,439
You see, I have a friend
who lives in Yonkers.
889
00:46:15,522 --> 00:46:17,399
-You do?
-Perhaps you know him.
890
00:46:17,483 --> 00:46:19,109
-I do?
-(giggles)
891
00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:22,654
It's always so foolish to ask
in cases like that, isn't it?
892
00:46:22,738 --> 00:46:26,575
Why should you know him?
It's a Mr. Vandergelder.
893
00:46:26,658 --> 00:46:28,535
Mr. Vandergelder, oh!
894
00:46:28,619 --> 00:46:30,162
Horace Vandergelder?
895
00:46:30,245 --> 00:46:31,872
Of Vandergelder's Hay and Feed?
896
00:46:31,955 --> 00:46:33,332
Yes, do you know him?
897
00:46:33,415 --> 00:46:35,083
TOGETHER: Oh, no!
898
00:46:35,167 --> 00:46:37,127
No! No, no, no, no!
899
00:46:37,211 --> 00:46:38,253
As a matter of fact,
900
00:46:38,337 --> 00:46:40,839
Mr. Vandergelder's coming here
to see me this very afternoon.
901
00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:42,841
-Coming here?
-This afternoon?
902
00:46:42,925 --> 00:46:45,219
Cornelius! Cornelius, look!
903
00:46:46,553 --> 00:46:49,640
-CORNELIUS: It's wolf-trap!
-Look out!
904
00:46:51,683 --> 00:46:54,353
-Beggin' your pardon, Miss Molloy.
-IRENE: Gentlemen, what are you doing?
905
00:46:54,436 --> 00:46:56,647
We'll explain later.
Just help us just this once!
906
00:46:56,730 --> 00:46:58,273
-IRENE: Come out of there this minute!
-(chuckles)
907
00:46:58,357 --> 00:47:00,484
We're as innocent as can be, Miss Molloy.
908
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,153
Mr. Hackl, Mr. Tucker,
909
00:47:03,237 --> 00:47:05,405
I insist that you both come out,
or I'll be forced to--
910
00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:07,950
Mr. Vandergelder, how nice to see you.
911
00:47:08,033 --> 00:47:09,535
And Dolly Levi. What a surprise.
912
00:47:09,618 --> 00:47:13,205
Irene, my darling, how well you look.
You must be in love.
913
00:47:13,288 --> 00:47:15,207
Afternoon, Miss Molloy.
914
00:47:15,290 --> 00:47:18,126
What a pleasure to have you in New York,
Mr. Vandergelder.
915
00:47:18,210 --> 00:47:21,505
Yes. Yonkers lies up there
decimated today.
916
00:47:22,464 --> 00:47:24,967
We thought we'd pay you
a little visit, Irene,
917
00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:26,510
unless it's inconvenient.
918
00:47:26,593 --> 00:47:30,931
Inconvenient? Whatever gave you that idea?
919
00:47:31,014 --> 00:47:33,350
Mr. Vandergelder thought
he saw two customers in the shop--
920
00:47:33,433 --> 00:47:35,686
two, uh, men.
921
00:47:36,270 --> 00:47:40,065
Men! Oh! (chuckles)
In a ladies' hat shop?
922
00:47:40,148 --> 00:47:44,069
(chuckles) Come. Let's go into
my workroom, Mr. Vandergelder.
923
00:47:44,152 --> 00:47:47,072
-I'm so eager for you to see it.
-HORACE: I've already seen it twice.
924
00:47:47,155 --> 00:47:48,657
But I need your advice.
925
00:47:48,740 --> 00:47:50,534
Advice from Mr. Vandergelder.
926
00:47:50,617 --> 00:47:53,036
The whole city should
hear this and grow rich.
927
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:54,454
Advice is cheap, Miss Molloy.
928
00:47:54,538 --> 00:47:56,540
It's the things that come
gift wrapped that count.
929
00:47:56,623 --> 00:47:59,126
I have never heard it
put more beautifully.
930
00:47:59,209 --> 00:48:01,295
Thank you, Mr. Vandergelder.
931
00:48:01,378 --> 00:48:04,089
Chocolate-covered peanuts, unshelled.
932
00:48:04,172 --> 00:48:06,133
They're the expensive kind.
933
00:48:06,216 --> 00:48:08,093
Why don't we open them in the workroom?
934
00:48:08,176 --> 00:48:10,137
Miss Molloy, I've come here today
935
00:48:10,220 --> 00:48:13,056
because I have important business
to discuss with you
936
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:16,435
just as soon as Mrs. Levi says good-bye.
937
00:48:16,518 --> 00:48:19,438
Pay no attention to me. I'm just browsing.
938
00:48:20,188 --> 00:48:22,524
Business, Mr. Vandergelder?
The hay and feed business?
939
00:48:22,608 --> 00:48:23,775
Well, not exactly.
940
00:48:23,859 --> 00:48:26,320
A new hat shop in Yonkers?
941
00:48:26,403 --> 00:48:28,906
I hear it's a very beautiful city,
and quite historic according--
942
00:48:31,533 --> 00:48:32,743
HORACE: Yes, go on.
943
00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:36,121
Who's been telling you
about Yonkers, may I ask?
944
00:48:36,204 --> 00:48:39,499
-IRENE: Oh, nobody. A friend.
-What friend?
945
00:48:41,543 --> 00:48:43,045
Well, you see, he--
946
00:48:43,128 --> 00:48:44,338
He?
947
00:48:45,672 --> 00:48:47,883
Yes, uh, he--
948
00:48:47,966 --> 00:48:50,302
-His name, Miss Molloy.
-What?
949
00:48:50,385 --> 00:48:52,095
His name.
950
00:48:52,179 --> 00:48:56,642
Oh, I believe it was--
is Mr. Cornelius Hackl of Yonkers.
951
00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:00,938
-Cornelius Hackl?
-Yes.
952
00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:04,274
-Do you know him?
-He's my head clerk.
953
00:49:04,358 --> 00:49:07,402
-He is?
-Yes. He's been in my store for 10 years.
954
00:49:07,486 --> 00:49:08,695
Where would you have known him?
955
00:49:08,779 --> 00:49:10,948
Just one of those chance
meetings, I suppose.
956
00:49:11,031 --> 00:49:13,533
Yes, oh, yes, one of
those chance meetings.
957
00:49:13,617 --> 00:49:14,576
Chance meetings?
958
00:49:14,660 --> 00:49:16,620
Cornelius Hackl has no right
to chance meetings!
959
00:49:16,703 --> 00:49:17,746
-Where was it?
-(cane thumping)
960
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,539
Really, Mr. Vandergelder.
961
00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:21,750
It's very unlike you to
question me in such a way.
962
00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:24,086
Well the-- the truth might as well
come out now as later.
963
00:49:24,169 --> 00:49:26,964
Mr. Vandergelder, your head clerk
is better known than you think he is.
964
00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:29,216
-Nonsense.
-Oh, yes. He's in New York all the time.
965
00:49:29,299 --> 00:49:31,259
He goes everywhere. He's very well liked.
966
00:49:31,343 --> 00:49:32,719
Everybody knows Cornelius Hackl.
967
00:49:32,803 --> 00:49:35,597
HORACE: He never comes to New York.
He works all day in my store.
968
00:49:35,681 --> 00:49:37,808
Then he goes to sleep
in the bran room at 9:00.
969
00:49:37,891 --> 00:49:39,184
So you think, but it's not true.
970
00:49:39,267 --> 00:49:41,311
Dolly Levi, you are mistaken.
971
00:49:41,395 --> 00:49:44,648
Horace Vandergelder, you keep your nose
so deep in your account books,
972
00:49:44,731 --> 00:49:46,191
you don't even know what goes on.
973
00:49:46,274 --> 00:49:49,653
Yes, by day, Cornelius Hackl
is your faithful, trusted clerk.
974
00:49:49,736 --> 00:49:52,698
But by 9:00-- oh, by 9:00,
he leads a double life.
975
00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:54,574
That is all.
Why, he is--
976
00:49:54,658 --> 00:49:57,744
Uh, why he's-- why he's here,
um, at the opera,
977
00:49:57,828 --> 00:50:01,415
at the great restaurants,
in all the fashionable homes.
978
00:50:01,498 --> 00:50:03,500
He's even at the
Harmonia Gardens restaurant, you know,
979
00:50:03,583 --> 00:50:04,584
two, three times a week.
980
00:50:04,668 --> 00:50:06,420
The fact is, Mr. Vandergelder,
981
00:50:06,503 --> 00:50:09,381
he is the wittiest, he is the gayest,
he is the naughtiest,
982
00:50:09,464 --> 00:50:11,133
most delightful man in New York City.
983
00:50:11,216 --> 00:50:14,928
He's just-- He's the--
the famous Cornelius Hackl, that's all.
984
00:50:15,012 --> 00:50:16,304
It ain't the same man.
985
00:50:16,930 --> 00:50:19,933
If I thought that Cornelius Hackl
came to New York,
986
00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:20,976
I'd discharge him!
987
00:50:21,059 --> 00:50:22,602
DOLLY: Who took the horses out
of Jenny Lind's carriage
988
00:50:22,686 --> 00:50:24,062
-and pulled her through the streets?
-HORACE: Who?
989
00:50:24,146 --> 00:50:25,272
Cornelius Hackl.
990
00:50:25,355 --> 00:50:27,941
Who, the other night, dressed up
as a waiter at the Fifth Avenue Hotel
991
00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:30,444
and took an oyster
and dropped it right down-- (laughs)
992
00:50:30,527 --> 00:50:32,654
-No, it's too wicked. I can't say it.
-Say it!
993
00:50:32,738 --> 00:50:34,197
No, but it was Cornelius Hackl.
994
00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:36,408
It ain't the same man!
Where'd he get the money?
995
00:50:36,491 --> 00:50:37,826
-Oh, he's very rich.
-Rich?!
996
00:50:37,909 --> 00:50:39,661
-Mm-hmm.
-I keep his money in my own safe.
997
00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:42,414
He has $145.36!
998
00:50:42,497 --> 00:50:44,666
Oh, Mr. Vandergelder, you are killing me.
999
00:50:44,750 --> 00:50:46,376
-He's one of the Hackls.
-The Hackls?
1000
00:50:46,460 --> 00:50:48,170
Yes. They built the, uh, Raritan Canal.
1001
00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:50,505
-Then why would he work in my store?
-Well, I'll tell ya--
1002
00:50:50,589 --> 00:50:51,631
I don't wanna hear it. I'm going home.
1003
00:50:51,715 --> 00:50:52,632
I have a headache.
1004
00:50:52,716 --> 00:50:53,884
It ain't the same man, I tell ya.
1005
00:50:53,967 --> 00:50:56,094
He sleeps in my bran room.
You can't get away from facts.
1006
00:50:56,178 --> 00:50:57,637
I just made him my chief clerk.
1007
00:50:57,721 --> 00:50:59,181
If you had any sense,
you'd make him a partner.
1008
00:50:59,264 --> 00:51:03,101
Irene, darling, I can see you were
as taken with him as everybody else is.
1009
00:51:03,185 --> 00:51:04,978
IRENE:
But I only met him once very hastily.
1010
00:51:05,062 --> 00:51:06,688
Now, don't you be thinking
of marrying him.
1011
00:51:06,772 --> 00:51:08,190
Dolly, what are you saying?
1012
00:51:08,273 --> 00:51:10,901
You think if over carefully.
He breaks hearts like hickory nuts.
1013
00:51:10,984 --> 00:51:12,944
-HORACE: Who?
-Cornelius Hackl.
1014
00:51:13,361 --> 00:51:16,239
Miss Molloy, how long has he been
calling on you?
1015
00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:18,867
Mr. Vandergelder,
suppose I were to tell you
1016
00:51:18,950 --> 00:51:20,952
that he has not been calling on me?
1017
00:51:21,036 --> 00:51:23,538
-MINNIE: Excuse me.
-IRENE: Not now, Minnie!
1018
00:51:23,622 --> 00:51:25,707
♪♪
1019
00:51:31,004 --> 00:51:33,048
-(screams)
-Stop singing, Minnie!
1020
00:51:33,131 --> 00:51:34,758
-There's a man in there!
-That's not amusing, Minnie.
1021
00:51:34,841 --> 00:51:36,259
-But there's a man!
-And we don't wish to be interrupted.
1022
00:51:36,343 --> 00:51:38,220
-But there's a man--
-Go back to the workroom immediately.
1023
00:51:38,303 --> 00:51:39,721
Immediately. (chuckles)
1024
00:51:40,180 --> 00:51:42,599
-The poor dear is tired from overwork.
-MINNIE: But there's a man--
1025
00:51:42,682 --> 00:51:45,018
If there's a man in there,
we'll get him out!
1026
00:51:45,102 --> 00:51:47,312
Whoever you are, come on out!
1027
00:51:47,395 --> 00:51:49,106
Horace Vandergelder,
do you realize what you're saying?
1028
00:51:49,189 --> 00:51:51,441
-I certainly do!
-Now just a minute!
1029
00:51:51,525 --> 00:51:53,777
Before you make another move
or say another word
1030
00:51:53,860 --> 00:51:56,571
that you might regret, allow me.
1031
00:51:56,655 --> 00:51:58,698
-Dolly!
-Stand back.
1032
00:52:06,206 --> 00:52:07,499
There. You see?
1033
00:52:07,582 --> 00:52:08,834
So much for this nonsense
1034
00:52:08,917 --> 00:52:12,587
about that darling girl
hiding a man in her closet.
1035
00:52:12,671 --> 00:52:14,214
I think we'll just
forget you ever said it.
1036
00:52:14,297 --> 00:52:15,924
-Now, wait a minute, I--
-It's forgotten.
1037
00:52:16,007 --> 00:52:17,050
(Cornelius sneezes)
1038
00:52:17,134 --> 00:52:19,010
Because there's nobody in there.
1039
00:52:19,094 --> 00:52:21,179
-(sneezes)
-God bless you.
1040
00:52:31,857 --> 00:52:32,899
Miss Molloy?
1041
00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:36,695
Yes, Mr. Vandergelder,
there is a man in there.
1042
00:52:36,778 --> 00:52:38,530
I see.
1043
00:52:38,613 --> 00:52:41,575
There also happens to be
a very simple explanation,
1044
00:52:41,658 --> 00:52:44,452
but for the present, I think I should
just thank you for your visit
1045
00:52:44,536 --> 00:52:46,329
and say good afternoon.
1046
00:52:46,413 --> 00:52:47,956
(Barnaby sneezes)
1047
00:52:48,331 --> 00:52:49,958
(sneezes)
1048
00:52:52,794 --> 00:52:55,839
-Another?
-Another.
1049
00:52:55,922 --> 00:52:58,508
Good Lord, the whole room
is crawling with men. (laughs)
1050
00:52:58,592 --> 00:53:00,510
Irene, darling, congratulations.
1051
00:53:01,469 --> 00:53:07,058
Miss Molloy, I shan't trouble you again,
and I hope, vice versa.
1052
00:53:09,019 --> 00:53:10,937
Horace, where are you going?
1053
00:53:11,897 --> 00:53:15,984
To march in the 14th Street Parade
with the kind of people I can trust--
1054
00:53:16,067 --> 00:53:18,028
700 men.
1055
00:53:21,114 --> 00:53:22,908
(door slams)
1056
00:53:22,991 --> 00:53:25,911
-(all shouting)
-Ah, ah, ah, ah!
1057
00:53:26,661 --> 00:53:28,705
♪♪
1058
00:53:37,297 --> 00:53:39,090
-(door slams)
-Now.
1059
00:53:39,174 --> 00:53:41,301
-Mr. Hackl, I demand an explanation!
-This is all your fault, Mrs. Levi.
1060
00:53:41,384 --> 00:53:42,636
DOLLY:
Now, have you met Miss Minnie Fay?
1061
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:44,221
IRENE:
Just do me the pleasure of leaving my shop
1062
00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:45,639
or I shall
call for Officer Gogarty!
1063
00:53:45,722 --> 00:53:47,641
Don't be silly, Irene,
there's no fun in a jailhouse.
1064
00:53:47,724 --> 00:53:49,517
-TOGETHER: Jail?
-(all shouting)
1065
00:53:49,601 --> 00:53:51,645
Now, please, everybody,
don't talk at once!
1066
00:53:51,728 --> 00:53:52,687
Just because you're rich and famous--
1067
00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:54,064
-CORNELIUS: Rich and famous?
-Don't deny it.
1068
00:53:54,147 --> 00:53:55,523
Doesn't mean that
you can cause all this trouble
1069
00:53:55,607 --> 00:53:56,733
-without making up for it.
-She's right.
1070
00:53:56,816 --> 00:53:58,401
-CORNELIUS: We'll do anything.
-BARNABY: Anything.
1071
00:53:58,485 --> 00:54:00,612
-Irene, this is Cornelius Hackl.
-We've already met. How do you do?
1072
00:54:00,695 --> 00:54:02,239
-How do you do?
-Jail is absolutely out.
1073
00:54:02,322 --> 00:54:03,907
Cornelius, explain to her.
1074
00:54:03,990 --> 00:54:05,909
-I'm Cornelius Hackl.
-Minnie Fay.
1075
00:54:05,992 --> 00:54:07,744
-It seems to me--
-Yes! The only way to make up for it--
1076
00:54:07,827 --> 00:54:08,745
Yes, of course, of course.
1077
00:54:08,828 --> 00:54:10,956
Irene, darling, you send
for the law at once.
1078
00:54:11,039 --> 00:54:13,208
You can have them both put away
for years on a charge like this.
1079
00:54:13,291 --> 00:54:15,043
Help, police, help.
Only have dinner with them first.
1080
00:54:15,126 --> 00:54:16,670
-Dinner?
-Well, that's to show
1081
00:54:16,753 --> 00:54:18,338
that you tried to settle amicably.
1082
00:54:18,421 --> 00:54:20,048
That's the way things are done
in the law--
1083
00:54:20,131 --> 00:54:21,925
-Dinner first, life imprisonment later.
-Well--
1084
00:54:22,008 --> 00:54:23,843
It's a lovely day.
It's gonna be a lovelier evening.
1085
00:54:23,927 --> 00:54:26,012
Who knows what can happen
before you send them off to jail.
1086
00:54:26,096 --> 00:54:28,640
-Mr. Hackl--
-Oh, by all means.
1087
00:54:28,723 --> 00:54:30,767
It's what Barnaby and I
had in mind all along.
1088
00:54:30,850 --> 00:54:32,852
Minnie, you and I have been
respectable for years.
1089
00:54:32,936 --> 00:54:35,146
Now we're in disgrace.
We might as well make the most of it.
1090
00:54:35,230 --> 00:54:36,606
We'd be delighted to accept.
1091
00:54:36,690 --> 00:54:39,192
-It is the only sensible thing to do.
-Cornelius!
1092
00:54:41,236 --> 00:54:43,655
Now, I know a little doughnut shop
in the railway station--
1093
00:54:43,738 --> 00:54:47,033
Doughnut shop?
Certainly not!
1094
00:54:47,117 --> 00:54:49,661
We want a fine dinner in the heart
of the fashionable world.
1095
00:54:49,744 --> 00:54:53,331
And I know just the place--
the Harmonia Gardens on 14th Street.
1096
00:54:53,415 --> 00:54:55,792
-Harmonia Gardens?
-Your favorite restaurant, Mr. Hackl.
1097
00:54:55,875 --> 00:54:57,752
-But wait a minute.
-The finest food that money can buy
1098
00:54:57,836 --> 00:54:59,129
and a lovely orchestra.
1099
00:54:59,212 --> 00:55:02,048
-A polka contest this very night.
-Ooh! Dancing!
1100
00:55:02,132 --> 00:55:04,384
You just ask for Rudolph.
He'll give you the best table.
1101
00:55:04,467 --> 00:55:06,303
-Oh, we could never go there.
-Oh, no.
1102
00:55:06,386 --> 00:55:09,180
It sounds marvelous.
Come, Minnie.
1103
00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:11,891
We'll close the shop
and take the whole afternoon off.
1104
00:55:11,975 --> 00:55:14,185
Oh, I mean, we could never.
1105
00:55:14,561 --> 00:55:18,189
Don't misunderstand me.
It isn't the money or anything.
1106
00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:20,734
It's the-- the--
1107
00:55:21,443 --> 00:55:23,320
DOLLY:
What, Mr. Hackl?
1108
00:55:23,403 --> 00:55:24,696
It's the dancing.
1109
00:55:24,779 --> 00:55:26,239
You see, I don't know how,
1110
00:55:26,323 --> 00:55:29,909
and they have contests and things
like that at Harmonia-- whatever it is.
1111
00:55:29,993 --> 00:55:31,911
You said so yourself,
and I don't know how.
1112
00:55:31,995 --> 00:55:34,456
It would take me weeks, months,
years to learn.
1113
00:55:35,665 --> 00:55:37,625
"Mrs. Dolly Levi.
1114
00:55:37,709 --> 00:55:41,004
28 and 3/4 year-old
chief clerks taught how to--"
1115
00:55:41,087 --> 00:55:44,841
Now, you just put one arm here
and one arm there.
1116
00:55:44,924 --> 00:55:47,469
It's no use.
I have absolutely no sense of rhythm.
1117
00:55:47,552 --> 00:55:50,889
Absolutely no sense of rhythm
is one of the primary requirements
1118
00:55:50,972 --> 00:55:53,058
for learning by the Levi method.
1119
00:55:53,141 --> 00:55:55,060
Just give me five minutes
of your time, Mr. Hackl.
1120
00:55:55,143 --> 00:55:56,436
I'll have you dancing in the streets.
1121
00:55:56,519 --> 00:55:58,688
I think we'll start with lesson seven--
the waltz kick turn.
1122
00:55:58,772 --> 00:55:59,898
Now it's very simple.
1123
00:55:59,981 --> 00:56:01,399
You just go right foot, touch,
left foot, touch,
1124
00:56:01,483 --> 00:56:03,777
under, back, around, touch,
back, through, around, behind,
1125
00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:06,154
out, over, release, unfurl.
1126
00:56:06,237 --> 00:56:10,075
Oh, oh. That's just
absolutely wonderful, Mr. Hackl.
1127
00:56:10,158 --> 00:56:13,495
When I think of the lucky women
who'll find heaven in your arms--
1128
00:56:13,578 --> 00:56:15,789
I think we'll go back to lesson one,
shall we?
1129
00:56:16,873 --> 00:56:22,379
Put your hand on her waist and stand
1130
00:56:22,462 --> 00:56:26,966
with her right in your left hand.
1131
00:56:27,926 --> 00:56:29,260
And...
1132
00:56:30,428 --> 00:56:32,931
one--
1133
00:56:33,014 --> 00:56:37,727
That's right. And one, two,
1134
00:56:37,811 --> 00:56:39,729
three-- Ah!
1135
00:56:40,855 --> 00:56:44,651
One, two, three.
1136
00:56:44,734 --> 00:56:48,363
Oh, no, this one. And one,
1137
00:56:48,446 --> 00:56:51,449
two, three.
1138
00:56:51,533 --> 00:56:55,620
One, two, three.
1139
00:56:55,703 --> 00:56:58,665
Look! I'm dancing!
1140
00:56:58,748 --> 00:57:00,083
-Uhh!
-Aah.
1141
00:57:00,166 --> 00:57:01,501
I was.
1142
00:57:01,584 --> 00:57:03,211
DOLLY:
Of course you were, Mr. Hackl.
1143
00:57:04,212 --> 00:57:08,174
♪ Take the someone ♪
1144
00:57:08,258 --> 00:57:12,554
♪ Whose arms you're in ♪
1145
00:57:12,637 --> 00:57:17,434
♪ Hold on to her tight and spin ♪
1146
00:57:17,517 --> 00:57:22,021
♪ And one, two, three, one, two, three ♪
1147
00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:24,107
♪ One, two, three ♪
1148
00:57:24,190 --> 00:57:26,526
Look! I'm dancing!
1149
00:57:26,609 --> 00:57:29,279
Ah! Uh, come here.
1150
00:57:29,362 --> 00:57:31,239
♪ Turn around and turn around ♪
1151
00:57:31,322 --> 00:57:33,950
♪ Try floating through the air ♪
1152
00:57:34,033 --> 00:57:36,494
♪ Can't you be a little more aesthetic ♪
1153
00:57:37,620 --> 00:57:41,499
♪ Don't you think my dancing
has some polish and a flair ♪
1154
00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:45,044
The word I think I'd use is athletic.
(clears throat)
1155
00:57:45,128 --> 00:57:49,466
-♪ Well, my heart is about to burst ♪
-Good.
1156
00:57:49,549 --> 00:57:52,844
♪ My head is about to pop ♪
1157
00:57:52,927 --> 00:57:58,308
♪ And now that I'm dancing
who cares if I ever stop ♪
1158
00:57:58,391 --> 00:57:59,976
That's wonderful.
1159
00:58:00,059 --> 00:58:01,895
Look, everybody!
1160
00:58:01,978 --> 00:58:06,483
I, Cornelius Hackl, sport, I'm dancing!
1161
00:58:08,109 --> 00:58:10,487
-You're next, Mr. Tucker.
-(gasps)
1162
00:58:13,781 --> 00:58:17,952
♪ Glide and step ♪
1163
00:58:18,036 --> 00:58:20,538
♪ And then step ♪
1164
00:58:21,289 --> 00:58:24,626
♪ And glide ♪
1165
00:58:24,709 --> 00:58:28,922
-And everyone, stand aside!
-Uh, not-- not yet, Mr. Tucker.
1166
00:58:29,005 --> 00:58:30,924
♪ One, two, three, one, two, three ♪
1167
00:58:31,007 --> 00:58:32,717
♪ One, two, three, one--♪
1168
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:34,385
CORNELIUS: Look, he's dancing!
1169
00:58:34,469 --> 00:58:36,304
DOLLY:
I think he's holdin' out on us.
1170
00:58:36,387 --> 00:58:40,350
♪ You could learn to polka
if you worked a week or so ♪
1171
00:58:40,433 --> 00:58:43,561
♪ Or the tango
filled with passion seething ♪
1172
00:58:44,312 --> 00:58:48,441
♪ I might join the chorus
of the Castle Garden show ♪
1173
00:58:48,525 --> 00:58:50,860
Whatever you do, Mr. Tucker,
keep breathing.
1174
00:58:51,277 --> 00:58:55,240
♪ For my heart is about to burst ♪
1175
00:58:55,323 --> 00:58:58,493
♪ My head is about to pop ♪
1176
00:58:58,576 --> 00:59:04,499
♪ And now that we're dancing
who cares if we ever stop ♪
1177
00:59:04,582 --> 00:59:06,292
(laughs)
1178
00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:08,044
Oh!
1179
00:59:08,127 --> 00:59:10,338
(laughs)
1180
00:59:11,881 --> 00:59:13,758
(Minnie giggles)
1181
00:59:13,841 --> 00:59:16,427
-(giggles)
-DOLLY: Come on.
1182
00:59:17,428 --> 00:59:19,055
(Minnie giggles)
1183
00:59:20,473 --> 00:59:22,767
♪♪
1184
01:01:08,247 --> 01:01:12,627
♪ When there's someone you hardly know ♪
1185
01:01:12,710 --> 01:01:16,005
♪ And wish you were closer to ♪
1186
01:01:16,089 --> 01:01:20,677
♪ Remember that he can be near to you ♪
1187
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:23,554
♪ While you're dancing ♪
1188
01:01:25,264 --> 01:01:29,352
♪ Though you've only just said hello ♪
1189
01:01:29,435 --> 01:01:33,815
♪ She's suddenly someone who can ♪
1190
01:01:33,898 --> 01:01:37,193
♪ Make all your daydreams appear to you ♪
1191
01:01:37,276 --> 01:01:40,780
♪ While you're dancing ♪
1192
01:01:42,407 --> 01:01:45,576
♪ Make the music weave a spell ♪
1193
01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:49,330
♪ Whirl away your worries ♪
1194
01:01:49,414 --> 01:01:52,792
♪ Things look almost twice as well ♪
1195
01:01:52,875 --> 01:01:56,003
♪ When they're slightly blurry ♪
1196
01:01:56,087 --> 01:01:59,841
♪ As around and around you go ♪
1197
01:01:59,924 --> 01:02:03,094
♪ Your spirits will hit the top ♪
1198
01:02:03,177 --> 01:02:07,640
♪ And now that we're dancing
who cares if we ever stop ♪
1199
01:02:07,724 --> 01:02:09,267
♪ Two, three, one, two, three ♪
1200
01:02:09,350 --> 01:02:11,227
♪ One, two, three, one, two ♪
1201
01:02:11,310 --> 01:02:15,231
♪ And now that we're dancing
who cares if we ever stop ♪
1202
01:02:15,314 --> 01:02:17,442
♪♪
1203
01:04:03,548 --> 01:04:05,091
♪♪
1204
01:04:36,664 --> 01:04:38,791
♪♪
1205
01:04:53,389 --> 01:04:55,308
IRENE: Dolly.
1206
01:04:55,391 --> 01:04:58,644
Dolly, Cornelius is taking us
to see the parade.
1207
01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:01,314
-Everyone will be marching.
-Come on, Mrs. Levi!
1208
01:05:01,397 --> 01:05:05,359
Oh, Dolly, the world is full
of such wonderful things.
1209
01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:11,782
Hurry, before the parade passes by!
1210
01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:15,786
DOLLY:
Yes, I will. I will.
1211
01:05:15,870 --> 01:05:18,372
♪♪
1212
01:05:27,465 --> 01:05:30,134
Before the parade passes by.
1213
01:05:32,053 --> 01:05:35,556
♪ Before it all moves on ♪
1214
01:05:36,724 --> 01:05:39,226
♪ And only I'm left ♪
1215
01:05:40,645 --> 01:05:47,652
♪ Before the parade passes by ♪
1216
01:05:48,986 --> 01:05:51,155
♪ I've gotta get in step ♪
1217
01:05:52,365 --> 01:05:55,576
♪ While there's still time left ♪
1218
01:05:57,161 --> 01:06:04,168
♪ I'm ready to move out in front ♪
1219
01:06:05,586 --> 01:06:07,672
♪ Life without life ♪
1220
01:06:09,006 --> 01:06:12,677
♪ Has no reason or rhyme left ♪
1221
01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:17,223
♪ With the rest of them ♪
1222
01:06:18,432 --> 01:06:20,935
♪ With the best of them ♪
1223
01:06:22,019 --> 01:06:29,026
♪ I wanna hold my head up high ♪
1224
01:06:30,403 --> 01:06:33,698
♪ I need a goal again ♪
1225
01:06:33,781 --> 01:06:37,159
♪ I need a drive again ♪
1226
01:06:37,243 --> 01:06:42,039
♪ I wanna feel my heart ♪
1227
01:06:42,123 --> 01:06:45,876
♪ Coming alive again ♪
1228
01:06:48,379 --> 01:06:55,344
♪ Before the parade ♪
1229
01:06:57,471 --> 01:07:00,307
♪ Passes ♪
1230
01:07:00,391 --> 01:07:02,727
♪ By ♪
1231
01:07:10,901 --> 01:07:13,654
Ephraim, let me go.
1232
01:07:15,740 --> 01:07:17,616
It's been long enough, Ephraim.
1233
01:07:20,161 --> 01:07:24,373
Every night, just like you'd want me to,
1234
01:07:24,457 --> 01:07:29,170
I've put out the cat,
made myself a rum toddy
1235
01:07:29,253 --> 01:07:31,505
and before I went to bed,
said a little prayer,
1236
01:07:31,589 --> 01:07:33,841
thanking God that I was independent,
1237
01:07:35,217 --> 01:07:40,473
that no one else's life
was mixed up with mine.
1238
01:07:43,184 --> 01:07:44,560
But lately, Ephraim,
1239
01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:49,523
I've begun to realize that-- (sighs)
1240
01:07:49,607 --> 01:07:52,651
for a long time...
1241
01:07:52,735 --> 01:07:55,237
I have not shed one tear.
1242
01:07:56,697 --> 01:08:01,368
Nor have I been for one moment...
1243
01:08:01,452 --> 01:08:03,287
outrageously happy.
1244
01:08:04,955 --> 01:08:07,333
Now, Horace Vandergelder-- (chuckles)
1245
01:08:07,416 --> 01:08:11,170
He's always saying,
"The world is full of fools."
1246
01:08:11,253 --> 01:08:12,963
And in a way, he's right, isn't he?
1247
01:08:13,047 --> 01:08:15,883
I mean, himself, Cornelius, Irene, myself.
1248
01:08:16,842 --> 01:08:20,137
But there comes a time
when you have got to decide
1249
01:08:20,221 --> 01:08:23,099
whether you want to be a fool among fools
1250
01:08:23,182 --> 01:08:24,892
or a fool alone.
1251
01:08:26,435 --> 01:08:29,605
Well, I have made that decision, Ephraim,
1252
01:08:29,688 --> 01:08:32,775
but I would feel
so much better about it if--
1253
01:08:33,526 --> 01:08:37,279
if you could just give me a sign--
any kind of a sign that you approve.
1254
01:08:38,447 --> 01:08:40,866
I'm going back, Ephraim.
1255
01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:43,369
I've decided to join the human race again.
1256
01:08:44,328 --> 01:08:45,621
And, Ephraim,
1257
01:08:47,081 --> 01:08:49,083
I want you to give me away.
1258
01:08:50,376 --> 01:08:53,462
♪ Before the parade ♪
1259
01:08:53,546 --> 01:08:56,048
♪ Passes by ♪
1260
01:08:56,132 --> 01:09:01,137
♪ I've gotta go and taste
Saturday's high life ♪
1261
01:09:01,220 --> 01:09:06,642
♪ Before the parade passes by ♪
1262
01:09:06,725 --> 01:09:11,230
♪ I've gotta get some life
back into my life ♪
1263
01:09:11,313 --> 01:09:15,985
♪ I'm ready to move out in front ♪
1264
01:09:16,068 --> 01:09:20,322
♪ I've had enough of
just passing by life ♪
1265
01:09:20,406 --> 01:09:24,535
♪ With the rest of them,
with the best of them ♪
1266
01:09:24,618 --> 01:09:28,622
♪ I can hold my head up high ♪
1267
01:09:28,706 --> 01:09:31,000
♪ For I've got a goal again ♪
1268
01:09:31,083 --> 01:09:33,002
♪ I've got a drive again ♪
1269
01:09:33,085 --> 01:09:37,006
♪ I wanna feel my heart
coming alive again ♪
1270
01:09:37,089 --> 01:09:41,468
♪ Before the parade ♪
1271
01:09:41,552 --> 01:09:46,015
♪ Passes by ♪
1272
01:09:46,098 --> 01:09:49,727
(playing "Before The Parade Passes By")
1273
01:09:54,273 --> 01:09:56,984
(crowd cheering)
1274
01:10:16,712 --> 01:10:19,632
(music continues)
1275
01:10:19,715 --> 01:10:22,635
(cheering)
1276
01:10:40,611 --> 01:10:44,156
("Scotland The Brave" playing)
1277
01:10:51,997 --> 01:10:54,917
("Before The Parade Passes By" resumes)
1278
01:11:26,198 --> 01:11:30,494
Waa! Waa! (laughs)
1279
01:11:30,577 --> 01:11:33,539
(cheering)
1280
01:11:36,917 --> 01:11:38,919
(man shouting commands)
1281
01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:43,507
Ready! Ha!
1282
01:11:46,593 --> 01:11:48,637
(cheering)
1283
01:12:07,906 --> 01:12:09,950
MAN: Present arms!
1284
01:12:10,034 --> 01:12:12,453
Raise up!
1285
01:12:13,620 --> 01:12:15,539
GUSSIE: Dolly Levi!
1286
01:12:15,622 --> 01:12:16,999
Hi!
1287
01:12:17,082 --> 01:12:19,960
Gussie Granger? (chuckles)
1288
01:12:20,044 --> 01:12:21,879
What in the world are you doing here?
1289
01:12:21,962 --> 01:12:23,714
Earning an honest dollar,
1290
01:12:23,797 --> 01:12:26,425
which is more than I've made on the
legitimate stage in two years.
1291
01:12:26,508 --> 01:12:29,595
Heaven have pity on you,
but the meat packers' float?
1292
01:12:29,678 --> 01:12:33,349
Ha! Listen. If there was more money in it,
I'd play one of the pigs!
1293
01:12:35,434 --> 01:12:37,478
(drums playing)
1294
01:12:42,024 --> 01:12:44,068
(cheering)
1295
01:12:50,115 --> 01:12:52,493
-I came here for some privacy.
-Oh.
1296
01:12:52,826 --> 01:12:55,079
I owe you an apology, Mr. Vandergelder.
1297
01:12:55,162 --> 01:12:56,914
And I didn't want to let it
go another minute.
1298
01:12:56,997 --> 01:12:59,041
You owe me more than that.
What about the fee I gave you
1299
01:12:59,124 --> 01:13:01,460
for getting me tangled up
with that collector of men's hats?
1300
01:13:01,543 --> 01:13:02,669
Yes. Irene Molloy.
1301
01:13:02,753 --> 01:13:04,421
She was a disappointment.
Darling girl.
1302
01:13:04,505 --> 01:13:06,173
I'll have you know
the confectioner gave me back
1303
01:13:06,256 --> 01:13:08,342
every cent for those
chocolate-covered peanuts.
1304
01:13:08,425 --> 01:13:10,844
Well, I'm sorry.
I never give cash refunds.
1305
01:13:10,928 --> 01:13:13,430
-If there was a shred of decency in you--
-However, being an honest woman
1306
01:13:13,514 --> 01:13:15,557
who believes in giving
service that's been paid for,
1307
01:13:15,641 --> 01:13:17,393
I've already arranged
to make it up to you.
1308
01:13:17,476 --> 01:13:19,520
Dolly Levi, let me make one thing clear:
1309
01:13:19,603 --> 01:13:21,647
You have been discharged
as my marriage broker.
1310
01:13:21,730 --> 01:13:23,315
I have no further use for one.
1311
01:13:23,399 --> 01:13:25,609
From now on, you're just a woman,
like anyone else.
1312
01:13:26,318 --> 01:13:28,946
-I am?
-And I'm just a man, like anyone else.
1313
01:13:29,029 --> 01:13:29,988
And just like anyone else,
1314
01:13:30,072 --> 01:13:31,949
I will do everything I can
to avoid introductions
1315
01:13:32,032 --> 01:13:33,742
such as you specialize in.
1316
01:13:33,826 --> 01:13:36,412
Well, I can understand your feelings
in the matter, Mr. Vandergelder.
1317
01:13:36,495 --> 01:13:39,915
And I am here today
marching beside you to assure you
1318
01:13:39,998 --> 01:13:42,000
that there will be no further
need for my services
1319
01:13:42,084 --> 01:13:43,710
after your dinner engagement tonight.
1320
01:13:43,794 --> 01:13:46,130
(band stops)
1321
01:13:46,213 --> 01:13:48,674
-Dinner engagement?
-7:30 at the Harmonia Gardens restaurant.
1322
01:13:48,757 --> 01:13:50,342
It's all arranged.
Private room. Table for two.
1323
01:13:50,426 --> 01:13:53,512
-She'll be waiting.
-Who? Who-who'll be waiting?
1324
01:13:54,096 --> 01:13:55,597
Who-who- who'll be waiting?
1325
01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:57,850
The very rich, very beautiful
lady I referred to
1326
01:13:57,933 --> 01:14:00,102
when I saw you in Yonkers this morning.
1327
01:14:00,185 --> 01:14:03,397
The, uh, heiress to a fortune, remember?
1328
01:14:03,480 --> 01:14:04,940
(whistle blows)
1329
01:14:05,816 --> 01:14:06,984
(drums playing)
1330
01:14:07,067 --> 01:14:09,403
I'm not interested. What's her name?
1331
01:14:09,486 --> 01:14:11,363
Uh, Ernestina.
1332
01:14:12,281 --> 01:14:14,783
I'm not interested. What's her last name?
1333
01:14:15,075 --> 01:14:16,702
Simple. Uh--
1334
01:14:16,785 --> 01:14:18,704
Uh, Simple. Ernestina Simple.
1335
01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:21,165
Can she cook?
1336
01:14:21,248 --> 01:14:22,749
(chuckles) Can she cook?
1337
01:14:22,833 --> 01:14:24,585
Frankly, I could never understand
why a girl like that,
1338
01:14:24,668 --> 01:14:27,004
who could afford to have every servant
in New York City if she wanted to
1339
01:14:27,087 --> 01:14:30,174
makes all her own meals
on a solid gold stove.
1340
01:14:30,716 --> 01:14:32,801
Sounds like a fool,
and I'm not interested in fools.
1341
01:14:32,885 --> 01:14:35,262
-Neither am I. Good day, Mr. Vandergelder.
-Good day.
1342
01:14:35,345 --> 01:14:37,389
And don't forget. 7:30, Harmonia Gardens.
1343
01:14:37,473 --> 01:14:39,808
And be sure to rent some evening clothes.
She's very fussy.
1344
01:14:39,892 --> 01:14:44,021
Dolly Levi, you are a damned
exasperating woman!
1345
01:14:44,104 --> 01:14:45,856
Why, Horace Vandergelder,
1346
01:14:45,939 --> 01:14:48,942
that is the nicest thing
you have ever said to me.
1347
01:14:49,026 --> 01:14:50,736
(chuckles)
1348
01:14:50,819 --> 01:14:54,573
(band swells)
1349
01:14:55,157 --> 01:14:59,495
♪ When the parade passes by ♪
1350
01:14:59,578 --> 01:15:00,829
♪ Listen and hear ♪
1351
01:15:00,913 --> 01:15:03,081
-♪ That brass harmony growing ♪
-Hi, Gussie!
1352
01:15:03,165 --> 01:15:05,626
-Gussie.
-♪ When the parade ♪
1353
01:15:05,709 --> 01:15:07,961
-(no audible dialogue)
-♪ Passes by ♪
1354
01:15:08,045 --> 01:15:11,757
♪ Pardon me if my old spirit is showing ♪
1355
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:15,969
♪ All of those lights over there ♪
1356
01:15:16,053 --> 01:15:19,640
♪ Seem to be telling me where I'm going ♪
1357
01:15:20,140 --> 01:15:22,476
♪ When the whistles blow ♪
1358
01:15:22,559 --> 01:15:24,686
♪ And the cymbals crash ♪
1359
01:15:24,770 --> 01:15:28,607
♪ And the sparklers light the sky ♪
1360
01:15:28,690 --> 01:15:30,651
♪ I'm gonna raise the roof ♪
1361
01:15:30,734 --> 01:15:32,778
♪ I'm gonna carry on ♪
1362
01:15:32,861 --> 01:15:34,863
♪ Give me an old trombone ♪
1363
01:15:34,947 --> 01:15:36,949
♪ Give me an old baton ♪
1364
01:15:37,032 --> 01:15:41,078
♪ Before the parade ♪
1365
01:15:41,161 --> 01:15:47,709
♪ Passes by ♪
1366
01:15:57,594 --> 01:15:58,512
(music ends)
1367
01:15:59,721 --> 01:16:01,598
♪♪
1368
01:16:10,649 --> 01:16:12,651
(trolley bell dings)
1369
01:16:25,539 --> 01:16:28,750
Cornelius, are you sure all they're doing
is changing their clothes?
1370
01:16:28,834 --> 01:16:30,502
Don't worry. They'll be here.
1371
01:16:30,586 --> 01:16:33,422
I mean, I get dressed every morning
in less than three minutes.
1372
01:16:35,173 --> 01:16:37,718
-Women wear more.
-They do?
1373
01:16:38,552 --> 01:16:39,928
Underneath.
1374
01:16:41,096 --> 01:16:44,057
Cornelius, maybe we better leave
while there's still time.
1375
01:16:44,141 --> 01:16:46,351
-Never.
-We've seen everything.
1376
01:16:46,435 --> 01:16:49,605
The parade, the Statue of Liberty,
the--the stuffed whale at Barnum's Museum.
1377
01:16:49,688 --> 01:16:51,732
I could die a happy man right now.
1378
01:16:51,815 --> 01:16:53,942
It'll be worth it, no matter what happens.
1379
01:16:54,026 --> 01:16:56,653
The worst anybody can do
is put us in jail,
1380
01:16:56,737 --> 01:16:59,948
but as long as we live, we'll never forget
1381
01:17:00,032 --> 01:17:03,327
the night we took Irene Molloy
and Minnie Fay
1382
01:17:03,410 --> 01:17:05,954
to dinner at Harmonia Gardens
1383
01:17:06,663 --> 01:17:08,290
on less than a dollar.
1384
01:17:08,373 --> 01:17:10,125
Cornelius, wake up!
1385
01:17:10,208 --> 01:17:12,628
And there's another reason
we can't go back to Yonkers.
1386
01:17:12,711 --> 01:17:13,670
One more thing--
1387
01:17:13,754 --> 01:17:15,964
One more thing we promised
to do before we go back
1388
01:17:16,048 --> 01:17:18,133
and turn into a couple of Vandergelders.
1389
01:17:18,216 --> 01:17:19,635
Cornelius.
1390
01:17:19,718 --> 01:17:22,012
You're not thinking of
kissing Miss Molloy?
1391
01:17:22,095 --> 01:17:23,930
(chuckles) Maybe.
1392
01:17:24,014 --> 01:17:25,682
She'll scream.
1393
01:17:26,183 --> 01:17:29,102
Barnaby, you don't know
anything about women.
1394
01:17:29,186 --> 01:17:31,104
Only that we can't afford 'em.
1395
01:17:31,188 --> 01:17:33,982
You might as well know
that everybody except us
1396
01:17:34,066 --> 01:17:37,110
goes through life kissing
right and left all the time.
1397
01:17:38,528 --> 01:17:39,738
They do?
1398
01:17:40,447 --> 01:17:41,448
Yes.
1399
01:17:42,908 --> 01:17:45,202
I often wondered about that.
1400
01:17:45,619 --> 01:17:47,287
(trolley bell dings)
1401
01:17:48,080 --> 01:17:49,414
(both gasp)
1402
01:17:49,498 --> 01:17:50,749
BOTH: Oh!
1403
01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:55,921
-Smile, Barnaby.
-I'm smiling.
1404
01:17:56,004 --> 01:17:57,923
Look rich and gay and charming.
1405
01:17:58,006 --> 01:17:59,716
I'm looking gay and charming.
1406
01:18:03,095 --> 01:18:04,721
Hello.
1407
01:18:08,183 --> 01:18:10,560
-Here we are.
-Hello.
1408
01:18:13,313 --> 01:18:14,523
Cornelius.
1409
01:18:15,649 --> 01:18:18,610
Oh. I'm pleased to meet you, Miss Molloy.
1410
01:18:18,694 --> 01:18:19,820
No last names.
1411
01:18:19,903 --> 01:18:21,863
After all we've been through
together this afternoon,
1412
01:18:21,947 --> 01:18:23,824
it's Irene and Minnie.
1413
01:18:25,075 --> 01:18:26,326
Irene.
1414
01:18:27,619 --> 01:18:30,497
-Oh.
-Oh!
1415
01:18:30,580 --> 01:18:34,167
-Does that count, Cornelius?
-I don't think so.
1416
01:18:34,251 --> 01:18:35,585
"Count"?
1417
01:18:36,336 --> 01:18:39,005
You see, we-we were counting here,
while we were waiting.
1418
01:18:39,756 --> 01:18:43,593
I hear all rich people do nothing
but count their money. (giggles)
1419
01:18:43,677 --> 01:18:44,720
I'm so hungry.
1420
01:18:44,803 --> 01:18:46,888
Why don't we go in here and
have some hors d'oeuvres first?
1421
01:18:47,806 --> 01:18:49,975
-No, no, no, no, no.
-It's very fashionable.
1422
01:18:50,058 --> 01:18:51,393
It would spoil our appetites.
1423
01:18:51,476 --> 01:18:52,811
Or we could have an aperitif.
1424
01:18:52,894 --> 01:18:54,730
It's out of the question,
1425
01:18:54,813 --> 01:18:57,524
'cause Barnaby and I don't agree
with that sort of thing.
1426
01:18:57,607 --> 01:18:59,067
But all those people do.
1427
01:18:59,151 --> 01:19:02,988
Well, they simply don't know that, uh, um,
1428
01:19:03,071 --> 01:19:06,867
aperitif is no longer considered elegant.
1429
01:19:06,950 --> 01:19:08,744
-Oh, it isn't?
-Uh-uh.
1430
01:19:08,827 --> 01:19:10,203
BARNABY: Hasn't been for years.
1431
01:19:10,287 --> 01:19:12,831
In that case,
it's on to Harmonia Gardens for dinner.
1432
01:19:12,914 --> 01:19:15,000
-Call a hack, Cornelius.
-Hack?
1433
01:19:15,083 --> 01:19:16,960
All my life I've wanted to ride in a hack.
1434
01:19:17,043 --> 01:19:18,754
Oh, there's one. Yoo-hoo!
1435
01:19:18,837 --> 01:19:20,630
No, no. We can't do that.
1436
01:19:21,715 --> 01:19:25,552
I mean, it isn't the money or anything.
(whimpers)
1437
01:19:25,635 --> 01:19:28,555
It's just that, nowadays,
1438
01:19:28,638 --> 01:19:32,058
really elegant people never take hacks.
1439
01:19:32,142 --> 01:19:34,895
-Hacks is out.
-They all go by streetcar.
1440
01:19:34,978 --> 01:19:37,063
Then, by all means, we go by streetcar.
1441
01:19:37,147 --> 01:19:39,775
Imagine. I've been elegant all my life,
and I never knew it.
1442
01:19:39,858 --> 01:19:43,612
Of course, if you really want to be
really elegant--
1443
01:19:43,695 --> 01:19:44,988
-Oh, we do.
-We do.
1444
01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:47,908
You walk.
1445
01:19:47,991 --> 01:19:50,118
♪♪
1446
01:19:54,831 --> 01:19:57,876
♪ Yes, New York It's really us ♪
1447
01:19:57,959 --> 01:20:00,962
♪ Barnaby and Cornelius ♪
1448
01:20:01,046 --> 01:20:03,965
♪ All the guests of Mr. Hackl are ♪
1449
01:20:04,049 --> 01:20:06,802
♪ Feelin' great and look spectacular ♪
1450
01:20:06,885 --> 01:20:09,346
♪ What a knack there is ♪
1451
01:20:09,429 --> 01:20:12,724
♪ To that actin' like a born aristocrat ♪
1452
01:20:12,808 --> 01:20:15,101
♪ We got elegance ♪
1453
01:20:15,185 --> 01:20:17,854
♪ If you ain't got elegance ♪
1454
01:20:17,938 --> 01:20:22,150
♪ You can never, ever carry it off ♪
1455
01:20:33,495 --> 01:20:36,498
♪ All who are well-bred agree ♪
1456
01:20:36,581 --> 01:20:39,417
♪ Minnie Fay has pedigree ♪
1457
01:20:39,501 --> 01:20:42,337
♪ Exercise your wildest whims tonight ♪
1458
01:20:42,420 --> 01:20:45,382
♪ We are out with Diamond Jims tonight ♪
1459
01:20:45,465 --> 01:20:48,218
♪ Could they be misleading us ♪
1460
01:20:48,301 --> 01:20:51,221
♪ Silver spoons were used for feeding us ♪
1461
01:20:51,304 --> 01:20:53,640
♪ We got elegance ♪
1462
01:20:53,723 --> 01:20:56,393
♪ If you ain't got elegance ♪
1463
01:20:56,476 --> 01:21:00,772
♪ You can never, ever carry it off ♪
1464
01:21:10,866 --> 01:21:12,117
(dog barks)
1465
01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:17,539
♪ Snobs that slobs throw roses at ♪
1466
01:21:17,622 --> 01:21:20,458
♪ We look down our noses at ♪
1467
01:21:20,542 --> 01:21:23,378
♪ Pity all the other girls around ♪
1468
01:21:23,461 --> 01:21:26,631
♪ When I swing my perfect pearls around ♪
1469
01:21:26,715 --> 01:21:29,426
♪ Snubbing folks is chic to us ♪
1470
01:21:29,509 --> 01:21:32,053
♪ Sometimes we don't even speak to us ♪
1471
01:21:32,137 --> 01:21:33,263
(dog barks)
1472
01:21:34,556 --> 01:21:37,434
♪ If you ain't got elegance ♪
1473
01:21:37,517 --> 01:21:41,313
♪ You can never, ever carry it off ♪
1474
01:21:41,396 --> 01:21:43,315
DOGWALKER:
If you please. Hmph!
1475
01:21:43,398 --> 01:21:46,151
♪♪
1476
01:22:04,336 --> 01:22:07,088
♪ Middle class don't speak of it ♪
1477
01:22:07,172 --> 01:22:10,050
♪ Savoir faire we reek of it ♪
1478
01:22:10,133 --> 01:22:12,886
♪ Some were born with rags and patches ♪
1479
01:22:12,969 --> 01:22:15,597
♪ But we use dollar bills for matches ♪
1480
01:22:15,680 --> 01:22:18,892
♪ And Vanderbilt kowtows to us ♪
1481
01:22:18,975 --> 01:22:21,853
♪ J.P. Morgan scrapes and bows to us ♪
1482
01:22:21,937 --> 01:22:24,230
♪ We've got elegance ♪
1483
01:22:24,314 --> 01:22:28,568
♪ We were born with elegance ♪
1484
01:22:28,652 --> 01:22:31,404
♪ I behave like Walter Raleigh ♪
1485
01:22:31,488 --> 01:22:34,324
♪ When the streets are full of mud ♪
1486
01:22:34,407 --> 01:22:36,701
♪ And the bluest huckleberry ♪
1487
01:22:36,785 --> 01:22:39,746
♪ Isn't bluer than my blood ♪
1488
01:22:39,829 --> 01:22:42,791
♪ Have you noticed when I hold my cup ♪
1489
01:22:42,874 --> 01:22:45,210
♪ The saucer never moves ♪
1490
01:22:45,293 --> 01:22:46,252
(slurps)
1491
01:22:46,336 --> 01:22:49,381
♪ And the way I keep my pinky up ♪
1492
01:22:49,464 --> 01:22:54,344
♪ Indubitably proves that ♪
1493
01:22:54,427 --> 01:22:56,888
♪ We got elegance ♪
1494
01:22:56,972 --> 01:22:59,808
♪ We got built-in elegance ♪
1495
01:22:59,891 --> 01:23:01,893
-♪ And with elegance ♪
-♪ Elegance ♪
1496
01:23:01,977 --> 01:23:03,645
-♪ Elegance ♪
-♪ Elegance ♪
1497
01:23:03,728 --> 01:23:06,231
♪ Elegance ♪
1498
01:23:06,314 --> 01:23:10,568
♪ We'll carry it off ♪
1499
01:23:18,201 --> 01:23:21,621
♪♪
1500
01:23:32,382 --> 01:23:33,967
(trolley bell dings)
1501
01:23:48,523 --> 01:23:51,401
♪♪
1502
01:24:04,914 --> 01:24:06,958
DOLLY: ♪ Horace ♪
1503
01:24:07,042 --> 01:24:09,627
♪ Horace Vandergelder ♪
1504
01:24:10,420 --> 01:24:14,632
♪ Mrs. Horace Vandergelder ♪
1505
01:24:16,217 --> 01:24:22,223
♪ Just leave everything to me ♪
1506
01:24:22,307 --> 01:24:26,352
♪ Though it won't be like the first time ♪
1507
01:24:27,353 --> 01:24:33,193
♪ How can it be like the first time ♪
1508
01:24:33,276 --> 01:24:39,991
♪ But why does it have to be ♪
1509
01:24:44,621 --> 01:24:50,335
♪ Don't look for shooting stars ♪
1510
01:24:50,919 --> 01:24:55,215
♪ For love is only love ♪
1511
01:24:56,633 --> 01:24:58,676
♪ You touch ♪
1512
01:24:59,344 --> 01:25:03,389
♪ And still you touch ♪
1513
01:25:03,473 --> 01:25:07,811
♪ The ground ♪
1514
01:25:08,853 --> 01:25:14,692
♪ Don't listen for those bells ♪
1515
01:25:14,776 --> 01:25:20,657
♪ For, oh love is only love ♪
1516
01:25:21,449 --> 01:25:25,912
♪ And if it's love you've found ♪
1517
01:25:26,287 --> 01:25:33,211
♪ Your heart won't hear a sound ♪
1518
01:25:35,088 --> 01:25:41,261
♪ And when you hold his hand ♪
1519
01:25:43,263 --> 01:25:47,642
♪ You only hold his hand ♪
1520
01:25:47,725 --> 01:25:54,649
♪ The violins are all a bluff ♪
1521
01:25:54,732 --> 01:26:00,572
♪ But if you're really wise ♪
1522
01:26:00,655 --> 01:26:06,494
♪ The silence of his eyes ♪
1523
01:26:06,578 --> 01:26:09,247
♪ Will tell you ♪
1524
01:26:09,330 --> 01:26:13,751
♪ Love is only love ♪
1525
01:26:13,835 --> 01:26:20,800
♪ And it's wonderful enough ♪
1526
01:26:24,220 --> 01:26:29,434
♪ Without the shooting stars ♪
1527
01:26:30,518 --> 01:26:35,356
♪ Without the sound of bells ♪
1528
01:26:35,982 --> 01:26:41,237
♪ Without the violins ♪
1529
01:26:41,321 --> 01:26:47,243
♪ Love is wonderful ♪
1530
01:26:48,453 --> 01:26:55,418
♪ Enough ♪
1531
01:26:59,422 --> 01:27:02,884
(waltz plays)
1532
01:27:24,113 --> 01:27:26,199
Good evening. Good evening.
1533
01:27:28,451 --> 01:27:31,329
(hissing)
Straighten up! Walk erect!
1534
01:27:33,373 --> 01:27:35,166
Pleasure. Good evening.
1535
01:27:36,709 --> 01:27:38,544
How nice to see you.
1536
01:27:40,171 --> 01:27:43,675
Psst! No expression.
Let the food smile.
1537
01:27:45,009 --> 01:27:46,886
And how are you this evening?
1538
01:27:48,304 --> 01:27:50,556
Oh, charming, charming.
1539
01:27:50,640 --> 01:27:52,684
(upper-class accent):
You. You there.
1540
01:27:52,767 --> 01:27:54,143
Come up here at once.
1541
01:27:54,978 --> 01:27:57,480
-(mouths word)
-Yes. You.
1542
01:27:59,107 --> 01:28:01,734
How dare you keep me
standing here this long.
1543
01:28:01,818 --> 01:28:03,778
As soon as Mr. Vandergelder arrives,
1544
01:28:03,861 --> 01:28:05,822
you will be seated, Miss Simple.
1545
01:28:05,905 --> 01:28:07,699
Now look here, garçon.
1546
01:28:07,782 --> 01:28:11,160
My name is Rudolph. Rudolph Reisenweber.
1547
01:28:11,244 --> 01:28:14,330
And why, may I ask,
can I not wait at the table?
1548
01:28:14,414 --> 01:28:16,457
Please. Please.
1549
01:28:17,500 --> 01:28:21,963
Harmonia Gardens does not
consider it proper-- a lady alone.
1550
01:28:22,046 --> 01:28:24,382
-Perhaps if you'll let me take your wrap.
-(gasps)
1551
01:28:24,465 --> 01:28:26,134
Don't touch me.
1552
01:28:27,677 --> 01:28:28,970
(whispering): Where?
1553
01:28:29,053 --> 01:28:31,014
Hmm. If you will excuse me.
1554
01:28:31,097 --> 01:28:32,473
Certainly not.
1555
01:28:35,310 --> 01:28:37,603
RUDOLPH:
Yes. What can I do for you?
1556
01:28:37,687 --> 01:28:40,273
How are ya, Adolf? How's my old friend?
1557
01:28:40,356 --> 01:28:41,607
I am Rudolph.
1558
01:28:42,567 --> 01:28:45,320
Oh. Of course. (chuckles) Rudolph.
1559
01:28:46,321 --> 01:28:50,158
W-We'd like a little something to eat.
You know?
1560
01:28:50,241 --> 01:28:53,119
In what name is the reservation, please?
1561
01:28:53,745 --> 01:28:56,539
-Reservation?
-I'm afraid there is nothing available.
1562
01:28:56,622 --> 01:28:58,916
-Come on. Let's go.
-IRENE: Do you know who he is?
1563
01:28:59,000 --> 01:29:02,003
This is Cornelius Hackl.
The Cornelius Hackl.
1564
01:29:02,086 --> 01:29:04,088
Tell him about Jenny Lind
and the Rockefellers.
1565
01:29:04,172 --> 01:29:06,215
The Rockefellers? I see.
1566
01:29:06,299 --> 01:29:07,842
Look. I know a little place up the block.
1567
01:29:07,925 --> 01:29:10,303
(gasps)
I think I have something.
1568
01:29:10,386 --> 01:29:12,180
Yes. I think I have something.
1569
01:29:12,263 --> 01:29:13,890
Follow me, if you will.
1570
01:29:19,145 --> 01:29:20,897
(music continues)
1571
01:29:26,944 --> 01:29:28,780
RUDOLPH:
Dining room number two.
1572
01:29:29,155 --> 01:29:31,074
It is the last one
remaining. Very private.
1573
01:29:31,157 --> 01:29:32,950
-It is?
-Very exclusive.
1574
01:29:33,034 --> 01:29:34,827
-It is?
-Very fashionable.
1575
01:29:34,911 --> 01:29:38,206
-Don't say another word.
-And very expensive.
1576
01:29:38,289 --> 01:29:40,208
-(chuckles) That was the word.
-(music ends)
1577
01:29:40,291 --> 01:29:42,377
(applause)
1578
01:29:42,460 --> 01:29:45,463
-IRENE: How beautiful!
-MINNIE: How elegant!
1579
01:29:45,546 --> 01:29:46,547
How much?
1580
01:29:46,631 --> 01:29:49,342
Cornelius, I thought you said
everyone here knew you.
1581
01:29:49,425 --> 01:29:51,552
Oh, don't worry. They will after tonight.
1582
01:29:51,636 --> 01:29:52,762
(chuckles)
1583
01:29:55,056 --> 01:29:56,724
(whispering)
1584
01:29:56,808 --> 01:29:59,185
She is? She is? I don't believe it!
1585
01:29:59,268 --> 01:30:02,105
8:00. Table for two. And the chicken.
1586
01:30:02,188 --> 01:30:06,567
Mrs. Dolly Levi coming here
after such a long absence.
1587
01:30:06,651 --> 01:30:08,194
It is too happy to be true.
1588
01:30:08,277 --> 01:30:10,029
That's the message
they told me to give to you.
1589
01:30:10,113 --> 01:30:11,989
Who? Who are these people?
1590
01:30:14,200 --> 01:30:16,077
RUDOLPH: They look truthful.
1591
01:30:19,247 --> 01:30:22,375
If you're gonna spend the whole evening
acting like a scared rabbit,
1592
01:30:22,458 --> 01:30:24,460
maybe I better order some lettuce.
1593
01:30:24,544 --> 01:30:26,754
How can you be so brave? It's unfair.
1594
01:30:26,838 --> 01:30:29,465
Well, just try to keep remembering
Mrs. Levi's advice.
1595
01:30:29,549 --> 01:30:31,300
I only wanted to marry you,
1596
01:30:31,384 --> 01:30:33,636
not perform in public.
1597
01:30:33,719 --> 01:30:35,847
Well, there's nobody here who knows us.
1598
01:30:35,930 --> 01:30:39,767
-Oh, Ambrose, are you sure?
-Sweetheart, have I ever been wrong?
1599
01:30:55,658 --> 01:30:56,951
RUDOLPH: Sir?
1600
01:30:58,494 --> 01:31:01,789
-Vandergelder's the name.
-Ah, yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
1601
01:31:01,873 --> 01:31:06,502
Uh, there's a Miss Ernestina Simple
supposed to be waiting.
1602
01:31:06,586 --> 01:31:08,337
Right there, Mr. Vandergelder.
1603
01:31:10,756 --> 01:31:13,092
No, I'm afraid you didn't understand
what I said. You see--
1604
01:31:13,176 --> 01:31:15,094
But perfectly.
1605
01:31:15,178 --> 01:31:17,305
Mr. Vandergelder is here, Miss Simple.
1606
01:31:17,972 --> 01:31:20,099
Yes. So I see.
1607
01:31:23,311 --> 01:31:24,896
Oh, good evening, Miss Simple.
1608
01:31:24,979 --> 01:31:27,857
I hope so, Mr. Vandergelder.
1609
01:31:27,940 --> 01:31:29,025
All right, my good man.
1610
01:31:29,108 --> 01:31:32,236
Fritz, private dining room number one
for Mr. Vandergelder's party.
1611
01:31:32,320 --> 01:31:34,780
-Follow me, if you will.
-You may take my arm.
1612
01:31:36,365 --> 01:31:38,451
And unless you're suffering
from a head cold,
1613
01:31:38,534 --> 01:31:40,161
kindly remove your hat.
1614
01:31:43,581 --> 01:31:46,584
(chattering)
1615
01:31:48,920 --> 01:31:50,379
Achtung!
1616
01:31:51,631 --> 01:31:54,050
I have an important announcement to make.
1617
01:31:55,134 --> 01:31:57,512
After an absence of several years,
1618
01:31:57,595 --> 01:32:00,431
there will return to the Harmonia Gardens
restaurant tonight
1619
01:32:00,515 --> 01:32:04,393
the lady who always had
the happiest smile, the warmest heart
1620
01:32:04,477 --> 01:32:07,396
and the largest appetite
in the city of New York!
1621
01:32:07,480 --> 01:32:08,856
-It's Dolly!
-Dolly?
1622
01:32:08,940 --> 01:32:11,984
-Dolly!
-(all chattering)
1623
01:32:12,068 --> 01:32:14,487
-Dolly! Dolly!
-Attention!
1624
01:32:15,071 --> 01:32:16,614
Ah-da-da-da-da!
1625
01:32:17,657 --> 01:32:21,827
It is therefore my order as headwaiter
of the Harmonia Gardens
1626
01:32:21,911 --> 01:32:24,455
and your supreme commander
1627
01:32:24,539 --> 01:32:28,626
that tonight of all nights,
our usual lightning service
1628
01:32:28,709 --> 01:32:31,379
will be twice as lightning as ever!
1629
01:32:31,462 --> 01:32:32,838
Or else!
1630
01:32:32,922 --> 01:32:34,382
(whistles)
1631
01:32:34,966 --> 01:32:38,010
♪♪
1632
01:33:29,478 --> 01:33:31,063
(heels click)
1633
01:33:31,147 --> 01:33:34,066
Waiter, write this down. Mock turtle soup,
1634
01:33:34,150 --> 01:33:35,818
roast pheasant under glass.
1635
01:33:35,901 --> 01:33:37,236
Pheasant?
1636
01:33:37,320 --> 01:33:39,530
I'll have the same
and a bottle of champagne.
1637
01:33:39,614 --> 01:33:41,741
-Champagne?
-And what would you like, sir?
1638
01:33:41,824 --> 01:33:44,327
Six months off for good behavior.
1639
01:33:44,869 --> 01:33:45,995
(whistle blows)
1640
01:33:46,078 --> 01:33:48,581
♪♪
1641
01:33:52,835 --> 01:33:55,546
♪♪
1642
01:34:15,483 --> 01:34:16,984
(snaps fingers)
1643
01:34:18,027 --> 01:34:20,112
♪♪
1644
01:34:29,830 --> 01:34:31,248
(claps hands)
1645
01:34:32,667 --> 01:34:33,918
(squawking)
1646
01:34:36,295 --> 01:34:37,588
(gunshot)
1647
01:34:39,548 --> 01:34:42,635
What do you mean oysters aren't in season?
1648
01:34:42,718 --> 01:34:44,845
Anybody can have oysters in season.
1649
01:34:44,929 --> 01:34:46,806
I want them out of season.
1650
01:34:46,889 --> 01:34:48,099
But they don't have any, Miss Simple.
1651
01:34:48,974 --> 01:34:51,352
Then tell them to go out and dig for some.
(chuckles)
1652
01:34:52,520 --> 01:34:55,064
♪♪
1653
01:35:34,228 --> 01:35:35,354
WOMAN: Oh!
1654
01:35:37,064 --> 01:35:39,316
(snapping fingers)
1655
01:35:39,775 --> 01:35:41,902
♪♪
1656
01:36:17,480 --> 01:36:19,648
(gasps) Oh!
1657
01:36:23,402 --> 01:36:26,363
(Minnie and Irene chattering)
1658
01:36:26,447 --> 01:36:28,574
♪♪
1659
01:37:05,903 --> 01:37:07,988
♪♪
1660
01:37:41,647 --> 01:37:43,816
-Hello again.
-Here we are.
1661
01:37:43,899 --> 01:37:46,235
-We thought something happened.
-Don't worry. It will.
1662
01:37:48,028 --> 01:37:50,823
♪♪
1663
01:38:45,753 --> 01:38:48,923
(applause)
1664
01:38:49,006 --> 01:38:52,009
-(giggles)
-Barnaby,
1665
01:38:52,092 --> 01:38:54,345
Irene, Minnie--
1666
01:38:56,931 --> 01:38:59,433
I feel so good about everything--
1667
01:38:59,516 --> 01:39:02,353
so good about this whole day,
1668
01:39:02,436 --> 01:39:06,565
that I am now going to
become an honest man and tell the truth.
1669
01:39:06,649 --> 01:39:08,025
BARNABY:
Cornelius?
1670
01:39:08,108 --> 01:39:12,488
I'd forgotten what strange things
happen to men when they drink.
1671
01:39:13,697 --> 01:39:16,367
If I tell you the truth,
1672
01:39:16,450 --> 01:39:18,827
will you let me put my arm
around your waist?
1673
01:39:19,328 --> 01:39:20,329
Good heavens.
1674
01:39:20,412 --> 01:39:22,957
You can do that even if you lie to me.
1675
01:39:36,303 --> 01:39:38,722
I've never touched a woman before.
1676
01:39:38,806 --> 01:39:41,392
You still haven't. That's my corset.
1677
01:39:44,520 --> 01:39:46,271
You're a wonderful person, Irene.
1678
01:39:46,355 --> 01:39:47,856
Thank you, Cornelius.
1679
01:39:48,691 --> 01:39:51,068
And that's why
I have to tell you the truth.
1680
01:39:51,151 --> 01:39:53,404
If it'll make you feel better.
1681
01:39:54,196 --> 01:39:57,449
It's all those fancy things
that Mrs. Levi said about me.
1682
01:39:57,533 --> 01:40:00,577
-Oh, yes.
-Well...
1683
01:40:01,870 --> 01:40:03,580
They're just not so.
1684
01:40:03,664 --> 01:40:05,457
Indeed?
1685
01:40:06,709 --> 01:40:09,878
Irene, I'm not rich.
1686
01:40:09,962 --> 01:40:11,505
Not rich?
1687
01:40:12,214 --> 01:40:15,092
I'm not any of the things
Mrs. Levi said I was.
1688
01:40:15,175 --> 01:40:16,343
And neither is Barnaby.
1689
01:40:16,427 --> 01:40:18,512
We're not sports. We don't know anybody.
1690
01:40:18,595 --> 01:40:20,806
We never come to New York.
1691
01:40:20,889 --> 01:40:23,892
We never do anything except work
for Mr. Vandergelder all day
1692
01:40:23,976 --> 01:40:25,352
and clean up the store at night.
1693
01:40:26,103 --> 01:40:29,273
And we wanted so much
to have one day of adventure
1694
01:40:30,524 --> 01:40:33,444
that we ran away from Yonkers
and told a lot of lies.
1695
01:40:34,778 --> 01:40:36,238
Well, well, look at us.
1696
01:40:37,072 --> 01:40:39,491
A pair of penniless pretenders.
1697
01:40:39,700 --> 01:40:42,161
But, Cornelius, I've known that all along.
1698
01:40:42,244 --> 01:40:43,328
You have?
1699
01:40:43,412 --> 01:40:46,832
Why else would you two have hidden
in my cupboard and under my table?
1700
01:40:46,915 --> 01:40:48,792
And made us walk all over New York?
1701
01:40:48,876 --> 01:40:52,588
(chuckles) You're the nicest ladies
a man ever went to jail for.
1702
01:40:52,671 --> 01:40:54,048
Jail?
1703
01:40:54,798 --> 01:40:57,134
We don't have the money
to pay for this dinner.
1704
01:40:57,217 --> 01:40:59,094
Of course you don't.
1705
01:40:59,386 --> 01:41:03,390
Minnie, show these two sports
what I've got in my purse.
1706
01:41:04,475 --> 01:41:07,895
What a pleasure to know
that selling all those silly hats
1707
01:41:07,978 --> 01:41:10,773
can pay for an evening
as delightful as this one.
1708
01:41:14,151 --> 01:41:16,070
I can't help myself.
1709
01:41:19,448 --> 01:41:20,449
Wow!
1710
01:41:23,744 --> 01:41:26,330
Oh! I--
1711
01:41:28,916 --> 01:41:32,294
No, no, Minnie. My white handbag.
Not that one.
1712
01:41:34,630 --> 01:41:38,175
-My white handbag.
-When we changed for the evening.
1713
01:41:38,258 --> 01:41:40,135
Oh.
1714
01:41:40,219 --> 01:41:42,638
-Minnie?
-Only my mad money.
1715
01:41:42,721 --> 01:41:44,431
A nickel for the horsecar.
1716
01:41:47,559 --> 01:41:50,354
-(mouths words)
-Would you like your check now, sir?
1717
01:41:52,856 --> 01:41:54,942
(chuckles)
1718
01:41:59,696 --> 01:42:01,115
Take this away, my good man.
1719
01:42:01,198 --> 01:42:03,158
Bring us another bottle of champagne.
1720
01:42:12,543 --> 01:42:14,211
What's this? What are you doing?
1721
01:42:14,294 --> 01:42:16,004
It's 8:00, Mr. Vandergelder.
1722
01:42:16,088 --> 01:42:19,133
-I really must be going.
-Going?
1723
01:42:19,216 --> 01:42:21,426
You haven't finished
your dinner yet, Miss Simple.
1724
01:42:21,510 --> 01:42:22,594
That's expensive food.
1725
01:42:22,678 --> 01:42:24,096
If I ordered food like that every night,
1726
01:42:24,179 --> 01:42:26,890
I'd be out of business inside a year
and working for somebody else.
1727
01:42:26,974 --> 01:42:29,309
I suggest you have the waiter
put it in a bag
1728
01:42:29,393 --> 01:42:31,812
and take it home to Yonkers
to your horses and pigs.
1729
01:42:31,895 --> 01:42:34,982
I don't have pigs, Miss Simple.
I have chickens.
1730
01:42:35,065 --> 01:42:37,693
And I did not get them
by being extravagant and wasteful.
1731
01:42:37,776 --> 01:42:41,071
I see no point in this trivial discussion,
Mr. Vandergelder,
1732
01:42:41,155 --> 01:42:43,365
nor in my remaining here any longer,
1733
01:42:43,448 --> 01:42:46,410
inasmuch as it is quite clear
to me that you are--
1734
01:42:46,493 --> 01:42:49,580
(chuckles) you'll forgive the expression--
1735
01:42:49,663 --> 01:42:51,123
entirely unsuitable.
1736
01:42:52,958 --> 01:42:54,710
-Unsuitable?
-Nevertheless, I assure you,
1737
01:42:54,793 --> 01:42:58,797
I will never say a word to Mrs. Levi
about this unfortunate evening.
1738
01:42:58,881 --> 01:43:02,885
And I suggest you do likewise
when she arrives here.
1739
01:43:02,968 --> 01:43:03,844
Wait a minute.
1740
01:43:04,553 --> 01:43:06,430
Did you say "arrives here"?
1741
01:43:06,513 --> 01:43:08,640
Yes. She planned to join us at 8:00.
1742
01:43:08,724 --> 01:43:11,560
You may tell her I left
because I felt sick to my stomach.
1743
01:43:12,102 --> 01:43:13,312
It's quite true, you know.
1744
01:43:14,605 --> 01:43:16,106
Good night.
1745
01:43:21,069 --> 01:43:25,032
Any man who goes to a big city
deserves what happens to him.
1746
01:43:35,584 --> 01:43:38,503
-He's all yours, honey.
-DOLLY: Good. Mr. Cassidy?
1747
01:43:38,587 --> 01:43:39,963
Yes, Mrs. Levi?
1748
01:43:40,047 --> 01:43:41,590
DOLLY: It's all right now.
You can let me out.
1749
01:43:46,470 --> 01:43:48,013
MR. CASSIDY:
Whoa.
1750
01:43:49,306 --> 01:43:51,642
Mr. Reisenweber! Come here! Hurry!
1751
01:43:51,725 --> 01:43:53,894
Shh! How many times
have I told you not to shout?
1752
01:43:53,977 --> 01:43:55,979
-It's her. She's outside.
-You mean--
1753
01:43:56,063 --> 01:43:57,231
-Yes!
-What's going on here?
1754
01:43:57,314 --> 01:44:00,359
-Are you sure?
-Oh, I know that voice. I heard her.
1755
01:44:00,442 --> 01:44:02,402
In a beautiful carriage with two horses.
1756
01:44:02,486 --> 01:44:05,447
-That's her! She's come!
-Who? Who's come?
1757
01:44:05,530 --> 01:44:07,574
A lady. You wouldn't know her. Mrs. Levi.
1758
01:44:10,285 --> 01:44:12,120
-Is it true?
-Yes. It's Dolly!
1759
01:44:12,204 --> 01:44:14,373
-Tell the band to get ready.
-You saw her?
1760
01:44:14,456 --> 01:44:15,540
Yes. Of course I saw her.
1761
01:44:15,624 --> 01:44:18,085
In a long white carriage
pulled by four horses!
1762
01:44:18,168 --> 01:44:21,046
-It's like old times!
-(chattering excitedly)
1763
01:44:21,129 --> 01:44:23,257
Mr. Reisenweber!
1764
01:44:23,340 --> 01:44:25,133
Rudolph!
1765
01:44:25,217 --> 01:44:26,927
Rudy!
1766
01:44:27,970 --> 01:44:29,513
She is here.
1767
01:44:46,071 --> 01:44:48,865
(band plays up-tempo jazz)
1768
01:45:09,052 --> 01:45:13,307
♪ Hello, Rudy ♪
1769
01:45:14,349 --> 01:45:18,854
♪ Well, hello, Harry ♪
1770
01:45:19,896 --> 01:45:22,524
♪ It's so nice ♪
1771
01:45:22,607 --> 01:45:29,489
♪ To be back home where I belong ♪
1772
01:45:30,824 --> 01:45:36,997
♪ You are lookin' swell Manny ♪
1773
01:45:37,789 --> 01:45:42,753
♪ I can tell, Danny ♪
1774
01:45:43,211 --> 01:45:48,550
♪ You're still glowin',
you're still crowin' ♪
1775
01:45:48,633 --> 01:45:53,764
♪ You're still, mmm ♪
1776
01:45:53,847 --> 01:45:56,433
♪ Goin' strong ♪
1777
01:45:56,516 --> 01:46:03,231
♪ I feel the room ♪
1778
01:46:03,315 --> 01:46:04,900
♪ Swayin' ♪
1779
01:46:04,983 --> 01:46:09,696
♪ For the band's playin' ♪
1780
01:46:09,780 --> 01:46:14,284
♪ One of my old favorite songs ♪
1781
01:46:14,368 --> 01:46:17,788
♪ From way back when ♪
1782
01:46:17,871 --> 01:46:24,669
♪ So, bridge that gap, fellas ♪
1783
01:46:24,753 --> 01:46:29,341
♪ Find me an empty lap, fellas ♪
1784
01:46:29,424 --> 01:46:33,929
♪ Dolly'll never go away ♪
1785
01:46:34,012 --> 01:46:37,933
♪ Again ♪
1786
01:46:41,728 --> 01:46:45,190
♪ Hello, Dolly ♪
1787
01:46:45,273 --> 01:46:48,860
♪ Well, hello, Dolly ♪
1788
01:46:48,944 --> 01:46:55,951
♪ It's so nice to have you back
where you belong ♪
1789
01:46:56,034 --> 01:47:00,330
♪ You're lookin' swell, Dolly ♪
1790
01:47:00,414 --> 01:47:03,875
♪ We can tell, Dolly ♪
1791
01:47:03,959 --> 01:47:07,671
♪ You're still glowin',
you're still crowin' ♪
1792
01:47:07,754 --> 01:47:10,757
♪ You're still goin' strong ♪
1793
01:47:10,841 --> 01:47:15,178
♪ We feel the room swayin' ♪
1794
01:47:15,262 --> 01:47:19,099
♪ For the band's playin' ♪
1795
01:47:19,182 --> 01:47:25,856
♪ One of your old favorite songs
from way back when ♪
1796
01:47:25,939 --> 01:47:27,482
♪ So ♪
1797
01:47:28,108 --> 01:47:31,361
♪ Here's my hat, fellas ♪
1798
01:47:31,445 --> 01:47:35,157
♪ I'm stayin' where I'm at, fellas ♪
1799
01:47:35,240 --> 01:47:40,162
♪ Promise you'll never go away again ♪
1800
01:47:47,252 --> 01:47:51,506
♪ I went away from the lights
of 14th Street ♪
1801
01:47:52,466 --> 01:47:57,471
♪ And into my personal haze ♪
1802
01:47:58,305 --> 01:48:01,308
♪ But now that I'm back ♪
1803
01:48:01,391 --> 01:48:05,187
♪ In the lights of 14th Street ♪
1804
01:48:05,270 --> 01:48:08,607
♪ Tomorrow will be brighter ♪
1805
01:48:09,024 --> 01:48:15,530
♪ Than the good old days ♪
1806
01:48:15,614 --> 01:48:18,992
♪ Those good old days ♪
1807
01:48:19,075 --> 01:48:21,036
Tell it to me sweet!
1808
01:48:22,454 --> 01:48:25,582
-♪ Hello ♪
-♪ Well, hello, Dolly ♪
1809
01:48:25,665 --> 01:48:29,002
-♪ Well, hello ♪
-♪ Hey, look, there's Dolly ♪
1810
01:48:29,085 --> 01:48:33,965
♪ Glad to see you, Hank,
let's thank my lucky star ♪
1811
01:48:34,049 --> 01:48:35,467
♪ Your lucky star ♪
1812
01:48:35,550 --> 01:48:39,721
♪ You're lookin' great, Stanley ♪
1813
01:48:40,263 --> 01:48:43,600
♪ Lose some weight I think
I think you did, Stanley ♪
1814
01:48:43,683 --> 01:48:49,731
♪ Dolly's overjoyed
and overwhelmed and over par ♪
1815
01:48:49,814 --> 01:48:51,775
♪ I hear the ice ♪
1816
01:48:51,858 --> 01:48:53,777
-♪ Do you hear the ice tinkle ♪
-♪ Tinkle ♪
1817
01:48:53,860 --> 01:48:55,237
♪ See the lights ♪
1818
01:48:55,320 --> 01:48:57,572
-♪ Can you see the lights twinkle ♪
-♪ Twinkle ♪
1819
01:48:57,656 --> 01:49:02,202
♪ And you still get glances
from us handsome men ♪
1820
01:49:02,285 --> 01:49:05,038
♪ Look at you all,
you're all so handsome ♪
1821
01:49:05,956 --> 01:49:08,458
♪ Golly gee, fellas ♪
1822
01:49:08,542 --> 01:49:12,128
♪ Find me an empty knee, fellas ♪
1823
01:49:12,212 --> 01:49:18,260
♪ Dolly'll never go away again ♪
1824
01:49:18,343 --> 01:49:21,388
♪♪
1825
01:50:19,654 --> 01:50:22,532
-♪ Well, hello ♪
-♪ Look who's here ♪
1826
01:50:22,616 --> 01:50:25,160
♪ Dolly, this is Louis ♪
1827
01:50:25,243 --> 01:50:27,370
-♪ Hello, Louis ♪
-♪ Dolly ♪
1828
01:50:27,454 --> 01:50:32,000
♪ It's so nice to have you back
where you belong ♪
1829
01:50:32,083 --> 01:50:33,710
♪ I am so glad to be back ♪
1830
01:50:33,793 --> 01:50:35,754
♪ Ah, you're lookin' swell ♪
1831
01:50:35,837 --> 01:50:39,132
-♪ Thank you, Louis ♪
-♪ Dolly, I can tell ♪
1832
01:50:39,215 --> 01:50:41,134
-♪ Does it show ♪
-♪ Dolly ♪
1833
01:50:41,217 --> 01:50:45,555
♪ You're still glowin',
you're still crowin', you're still ♪
1834
01:50:45,639 --> 01:50:47,807
-♪ Mmm, goin' strong ♪
-♪ Goin' strong ♪
1835
01:50:47,891 --> 01:50:49,559
♪ I feel the room ♪
1836
01:50:49,643 --> 01:50:51,811
-♪ Bip, bippity boom, boom ♪
-♪ Swayin' ♪
1837
01:50:51,895 --> 01:50:55,273
-♪ And the band playin' ♪
-(vocalizing)
1838
01:50:55,357 --> 01:50:59,861
♪ One of our old favorite songs
from way back when ♪
1839
01:50:59,944 --> 01:51:01,821
-♪ I remember it so ♪
-♪ So ♪
1840
01:51:01,905 --> 01:51:06,493
-♪ It was my favorite ♪
-♪ Show some snap, fellas ♪
1841
01:51:06,576 --> 01:51:10,038
-♪ Find her an empty lap, yeah ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪
1842
01:51:10,121 --> 01:51:15,794
-♪ Dolly'll never go away again ♪
-♪ Will never go away again ♪
1843
01:51:16,378 --> 01:51:21,758
♪ Well, well, hello, Dolly ♪
1844
01:51:21,841 --> 01:51:25,428
♪ Well, hello, Dolly ♪
1845
01:51:25,512 --> 01:51:32,227
♪ It's so nice to have you back
where you belong ♪
1846
01:51:32,310 --> 01:51:35,939
-♪ You're lookin' swell, Dolly ♪
-Whoo!
1847
01:51:36,022 --> 01:51:39,359
-♪ We can tell, Dolly ♪
-Whoa!
1848
01:51:39,442 --> 01:51:42,946
♪ You're still glowin',
you're still crowin' ♪
1849
01:51:43,029 --> 01:51:46,533
♪ You're still goin' strong ♪
1850
01:51:46,616 --> 01:51:50,453
♪ I hear the ice ♪
1851
01:51:50,537 --> 01:51:52,580
-♪ I hear it tinkle ♪
-♪ Tinkle ♪
1852
01:51:52,664 --> 01:51:54,666
♪ See the lights ♪
1853
01:51:54,749 --> 01:51:56,751
-♪ I see them twinkle ♪
-♪ Twinkle ♪
1854
01:51:56,835 --> 01:52:02,966
♪ And you still get glances
from us handsome men ♪
1855
01:52:03,049 --> 01:52:04,926
♪ So ♪
1856
01:52:05,009 --> 01:52:09,389
-♪ Hmm, wow, wow, wow, fellas ♪
-♪ Hey, hey ♪
1857
01:52:09,472 --> 01:52:11,850
♪ Look at the old girl now, fellas ♪
1858
01:52:11,933 --> 01:52:13,184
♪ Wow, wow ♪
1859
01:52:13,268 --> 01:52:16,479
♪ Dolly'll never go away ♪
1860
01:52:16,563 --> 01:52:20,316
♪ Dolly'll never go away ♪
1861
01:52:20,400 --> 01:52:23,820
♪ Dolly'll never go away ♪
1862
01:52:23,903 --> 01:52:30,869
♪ Again ♪
1863
01:52:31,995 --> 01:52:34,789
(applause)
1864
01:52:41,212 --> 01:52:43,256
(mouths words)
1865
01:52:44,507 --> 01:52:48,595
(applause continues)
1866
01:52:55,977 --> 01:52:57,896
One more time!
1867
01:52:57,979 --> 01:52:59,189
♪♪
1868
01:52:59,272 --> 01:53:03,151
♪ Dolly'll never go away ♪
1869
01:53:03,234 --> 01:53:07,030
♪ Dolly'll never go away ♪
1870
01:53:07,113 --> 01:53:10,241
-♪ Dolly'll never--♪
-♪ Go away again ♪
1871
01:53:10,325 --> 01:53:12,202
DOLLY:
Horace Vandergelder.
1872
01:53:14,579 --> 01:53:15,455
Do we know each other?
1873
01:53:17,040 --> 01:53:18,416
Much too well.
1874
01:53:19,042 --> 01:53:21,085
Oh. It's you, Mrs. Levi.
1875
01:53:21,586 --> 01:53:22,879
Yes.
1876
01:53:24,672 --> 01:53:26,299
Well, do you, um--
1877
01:53:26,716 --> 01:53:30,261
Do--Do you think you have the figure
for that sort of getup?
1878
01:53:31,095 --> 01:53:33,431
That's for others to say,
Mr. Vandergelder.
1879
01:53:33,515 --> 01:53:36,184
I borrowed it from a friend,
not being one of those rich ladies
1880
01:53:36,267 --> 01:53:38,019
who have nothing better
to do with their time
1881
01:53:38,102 --> 01:53:40,271
than dillydally with seamstresses.
1882
01:53:40,355 --> 01:53:42,106
Which reminds me, where is Miss Simple?
1883
01:53:42,190 --> 01:53:44,108
-Miss Simple?
-Yes.
1884
01:53:44,192 --> 01:53:47,529
Well, she had to, uh, uh, uh, uh--
1885
01:53:47,612 --> 01:53:50,615
She got called away
by a sick friend, had to leave.
1886
01:53:50,698 --> 01:53:54,994
Oh. Well, that's Ernestina--
always thinking of other people.
1887
01:53:55,078 --> 01:53:57,997
Oh, well, we'll just have to make do
without her for the time being.
1888
01:53:58,081 --> 01:54:01,000
-Rudolph.
-My dear Mrs. Levi.
1889
01:54:01,084 --> 01:54:04,003
-I have saved the very best table.
-How I've missed you, Rudolph.
1890
01:54:04,087 --> 01:54:05,880
-This way, please.
-Come along, Mr. Vandergelder.
1891
01:54:05,964 --> 01:54:07,298
-But I've already eaten.
-Don't stand here.
1892
01:54:07,382 --> 01:54:08,424
You'll get run over by a waiter.
1893
01:54:08,508 --> 01:54:12,637
Oh, hello. Good evening.
Oh, hello. How are you?
1894
01:54:12,720 --> 01:54:15,723
-Hi. Nice to see you.
-You know too many people.
1895
01:54:15,807 --> 01:54:17,642
-Total strangers.
-Then why do you greet them?
1896
01:54:17,725 --> 01:54:19,477
Well, it makes me feel good
to have so many friends.
1897
01:54:19,561 --> 01:54:22,897
-Oh. Well, say hello for me too.
-I already did. (chuckles)
1898
01:54:22,981 --> 01:54:24,691
Lovely, Rudolph. Perfect.
1899
01:54:24,774 --> 01:54:25,859
What are we doing down here?
1900
01:54:25,942 --> 01:54:27,277
Well, there's someone
in the dance competition
1901
01:54:27,360 --> 01:54:28,987
I especially want you to see.
1902
01:54:29,070 --> 01:54:30,280
I haven't the slightest
interest in dancing.
1903
01:54:30,363 --> 01:54:32,782
Rudolph, in case you don't already know,
this is Mr. Vandergelder of Yonkers--
1904
01:54:32,866 --> 01:54:35,159
in fact, Yonkers's
most influential citizen.
1905
01:54:35,243 --> 01:54:36,286
Yes, we've already met.
1906
01:54:36,369 --> 01:54:39,038
And Mr. Vandergelder insists
on buying the finest dinner you have--
1907
01:54:39,122 --> 01:54:40,915
-and served promptly.
-I never said any such thing.
1908
01:54:40,999 --> 01:54:42,041
Unfortunately, I'm watching my waistline.
1909
01:54:42,125 --> 01:54:43,418
Can't eat a thing.
No appetite at all.
1910
01:54:43,501 --> 01:54:44,586
What have you got
that's ready immediately?
1911
01:54:44,669 --> 01:54:45,628
You ordered chicken--
1912
01:54:45,712 --> 01:54:47,422
Did you say a chicken?
I don't think I could face a chicken.
1913
01:54:47,505 --> 01:54:48,506
Not a chicken. Not tonight.
1914
01:54:48,590 --> 01:54:50,592
-Not after all I've been through.
-Good. Cancel the chicken.
1915
01:54:50,675 --> 01:54:52,635
-And bring a turkey.
-Yes, Mrs. Levi.
1916
01:54:52,719 --> 01:54:54,429
With the usual everything on the side.
1917
01:54:54,512 --> 01:54:57,432
Now, tell me about you and Ernestina.
1918
01:54:57,515 --> 01:54:58,516
I can't wait to hear.
1919
01:54:58,600 --> 01:55:00,018
I know it was short, but was it sweet?
1920
01:55:00,101 --> 01:55:01,477
I mean, do you think you and she--
1921
01:55:01,561 --> 01:55:03,605
I mean, uh, did it, uh, go well?
1922
01:55:04,606 --> 01:55:07,692
Mrs. Levi, you have a habit of asking
highly personal questions.
1923
01:55:07,775 --> 01:55:10,612
Mr. Vandergelder,
if you're thinking of getting married,
1924
01:55:10,695 --> 01:55:13,740
you might as well learn right now
that you have to let women be women.
1925
01:55:13,823 --> 01:55:16,618
Now, tell me, did you like her?
Did she like you?
1926
01:55:16,701 --> 01:55:18,244
Always wanting to know everything.
1927
01:55:18,328 --> 01:55:20,580
Always putting your nose
into other people's affairs.
1928
01:55:20,663 --> 01:55:22,832
Anybody who lived with you
would get as nervous as a cat.
1929
01:55:22,916 --> 01:55:24,375
What?
1930
01:55:24,459 --> 01:55:26,961
-What was that you just said?
-I said anybody who lived with you--
1931
01:55:27,045 --> 01:55:31,549
Horace Vandergelder, you get that idea
right out of your head this minute.
1932
01:55:31,633 --> 01:55:34,928
Why, the idea of you
even mentioning such a thing.
1933
01:55:35,011 --> 01:55:38,139
I mean, understand once and for all
that I have no intention of marrying you.
1934
01:55:38,222 --> 01:55:39,891
I didn't mean that.
1935
01:55:39,974 --> 01:55:41,893
You've been hinting around at
such things for some time now.
1936
01:55:41,976 --> 01:55:43,144
-I have not.
-So, from now on,
1937
01:55:43,227 --> 01:55:44,562
put those ideas
right out of your head.
1938
01:55:44,646 --> 01:55:46,898
Stop talking like that.
That's not what I meant at all.
1939
01:55:46,981 --> 01:55:48,232
I hope not. I should hope not.
1940
01:55:48,316 --> 01:55:50,360
Horace Vandergelder, you go
your way, and I'll go mine.
1941
01:55:50,443 --> 01:55:52,403
I am not some Irene Molloy
whose head you can turn
1942
01:55:52,487 --> 01:55:54,864
with a few chocolate-covered
peanuts-- unshelled!
1943
01:55:54,948 --> 01:55:56,658
Why, the idea of you even
suggesting such a thing.
1944
01:55:56,741 --> 01:55:58,034
You misunderstood me.
1945
01:55:58,117 --> 01:55:59,327
Well, I certainly hope I did.
1946
01:55:59,410 --> 01:56:01,746
However, let's not discuss it
anymore. Here's our food.
1947
01:56:01,829 --> 01:56:04,540
-I don't feel well.
-I'll serve Mr. Vandergelder, Rudolph.
1948
01:56:04,624 --> 01:56:08,294
Here is a lovely-- a lovely wing for you
1949
01:56:08,378 --> 01:56:12,090
and some dumplings-- oh, lighter than air.
1950
01:56:12,173 --> 01:56:14,759
-That's what I need-- some air.
-And some giblets.
1951
01:56:14,842 --> 01:56:17,720
Very, very tender and very good for you.
1952
01:56:17,804 --> 01:56:20,848
No. As I said before, Horace,
you go your way, and I'll go mine.
1953
01:56:20,932 --> 01:56:23,142
Well, here. Have some wine.
You'll feel better at once.
1954
01:56:23,226 --> 01:56:24,644
However, since you brought
this whole matter up,
1955
01:56:24,727 --> 01:56:25,979
there is one more thing I ought to say.
1956
01:56:26,062 --> 01:56:27,021
I didn't bring the matter up.
1957
01:56:27,105 --> 01:56:28,731
One more thing I ought to say
before we forget all about it.
1958
01:56:28,815 --> 01:56:31,234
It's true, I'm a woman
who likes to manage things,
1959
01:56:31,317 --> 01:56:34,237
but I wouldn't like to manage anything
as disorderly as your household,
1960
01:56:34,320 --> 01:56:36,406
as out of control, as untidy--
1961
01:56:36,489 --> 01:56:39,033
Oh! No, Horace. You can do that
for yourself, God helping you.
1962
01:56:39,117 --> 01:56:40,118
It is not out of control.
1963
01:56:40,201 --> 01:56:41,953
Very well. Let's not say
another word about it.
1964
01:56:42,036 --> 01:56:43,746
Oh! Have some beets.
1965
01:56:43,830 --> 01:56:45,999
-I'm not hungry, and I don't like beets.
-They are good!
1966
01:56:46,082 --> 01:56:48,918
No, Horace. A complaining, quarrelsome,
friendless soul like you
1967
01:56:49,002 --> 01:56:50,628
is no sort of companion for me.
1968
01:56:50,712 --> 01:56:52,588
You salt your beets, and I'll salt mine.
1969
01:56:52,672 --> 01:56:54,298
-Stop saying that.
-I won't say another word.
1970
01:56:54,382 --> 01:56:56,217
Besides, I'm not those things
you said I am.
1971
01:56:56,300 --> 01:56:57,552
Maybe so, but it looks to me as if
1972
01:56:57,635 --> 01:56:59,012
you are the only person
in the world that knows it.
1973
01:56:59,095 --> 01:57:02,849
No, Horace, I have
decided to enjoy life. Mmm.
1974
01:57:02,932 --> 01:57:04,851
As for you, you can always
find yourself some housekeeper
1975
01:57:04,934 --> 01:57:06,477
who can prepare you three meals
for a dollar a day.
1976
01:57:06,561 --> 01:57:07,770
It can be done if you like
cold baked beans.
1977
01:57:07,854 --> 01:57:09,439
You know, Horace,
I can just see you now
1978
01:57:09,522 --> 01:57:11,357
spending your last days
listening at keyholes,
1979
01:57:11,441 --> 01:57:12,442
for fear somebody's cheating you.
1980
01:57:12,525 --> 01:57:14,235
Mmm. I think I'll have some more beets.
1981
01:57:14,318 --> 01:57:15,695
Have some more beets. They're delicious.
1982
01:57:15,778 --> 01:57:17,113
I don't like beets. I hate beets.
1983
01:57:17,196 --> 01:57:19,407
There. You see?
Now, that's the difference between us.
1984
01:57:19,490 --> 01:57:22,201
I've been nagging you all day long
to get some spirit into you.
1985
01:57:22,285 --> 01:57:24,495
And the pity of it is, oh,
you could be a perfectly charming,
1986
01:57:24,579 --> 01:57:26,080
witty, amiable man if you wanted to.
1987
01:57:26,164 --> 01:57:28,291
I don't want to be charming!
1988
01:57:28,374 --> 01:57:31,794
But you are. Look at you.
You can't help yourself.
1989
01:57:32,795 --> 01:57:34,047
"Listening at keyholes."
1990
01:57:34,130 --> 01:57:35,882
You have no right
to say such things to me.
1991
01:57:35,965 --> 01:57:37,967
At your age, you ought to
enjoy hearing the truth.
1992
01:57:38,051 --> 01:57:39,177
My age. My age.
1993
01:57:39,260 --> 01:57:40,845
You're always talking about my age.
1994
01:57:40,928 --> 01:57:43,514
I don't even know what your age is,
but I do know that up at Yonkers,
1995
01:57:43,598 --> 01:57:45,641
with bad food and bad temper,
you'll double it in six months.
1996
01:57:45,725 --> 01:57:47,852
Now sit down, Horace,
and let's talk of something else.
1997
01:57:47,935 --> 01:57:50,730
However, before we change the subject,
there's one more thing I am going to say.
1998
01:57:50,813 --> 01:57:53,441
I don't want to hear it.
You're wasting your time, Dolly Levi.
1999
01:57:53,524 --> 01:57:55,485
I have no intention
of asking you to marry me.
2000
01:57:55,568 --> 01:57:58,321
Oh! I suppose that means
you want me to ask you.
2001
01:57:58,404 --> 01:58:00,114
Well, I'm sorry, Horace.
I'm turning you down.
2002
01:58:00,198 --> 01:58:03,242
How can you turn me down when I haven't
even asked you anything?
2003
01:58:03,326 --> 01:58:05,036
It's no use arguing.
I've made up your mind.
2004
01:58:05,119 --> 01:58:06,621
Here. Let me cut your wings.
2005
01:58:06,704 --> 01:58:08,289
I don't want my wings cut.
2006
01:58:08,372 --> 01:58:10,833
No man does, Horace. No man does.
2007
01:58:10,917 --> 01:58:12,376
I've got a headache. I'm leaving.
2008
01:58:12,460 --> 01:58:13,753
(band playing fanfare)
2009
01:58:13,836 --> 01:58:14,921
DOLLY: Oh, no, you can't go now.
2010
01:58:15,004 --> 01:58:16,339
The dance competition's
just about to begin.
2011
01:58:16,422 --> 01:58:20,968
Ladies and gentlemen,
if I may have your attention, please.
2012
01:58:21,052 --> 01:58:23,805
It is my pleasure to announce
on behalf of the management
2013
01:58:23,888 --> 01:58:26,015
of the Harmonia Gardens restaurant
2014
01:58:26,099 --> 01:58:29,727
that our dance contest
is about to commence.
2015
01:58:29,811 --> 01:58:34,857
The judges for tonight's competition
are Mr. Herman Fleishacker!
2016
01:58:34,941 --> 01:58:37,735
(fanfare plays)
2017
01:58:37,819 --> 01:58:41,072
-Mr. Llewelyn Codd!
-(fanfare plays)
2018
01:58:41,155 --> 01:58:44,158
And our special guest of honor judge,
2019
01:58:44,242 --> 01:58:46,536
Mrs. Dolly Levi!
2020
01:58:46,619 --> 01:58:50,081
(fanfare plays)
2021
01:58:55,503 --> 01:58:56,629
Sit down!
2022
01:59:02,802 --> 01:59:05,555
Ladies and gentlemen who wish
to participate in this evening's contest,
2023
01:59:05,638 --> 01:59:07,098
will you please now
come to the dance floor.
2024
01:59:07,181 --> 01:59:09,559
And remember, to the lucky winning couple
2025
01:59:09,642 --> 01:59:12,687
goes the grand prize of 50 silver dollars
2026
01:59:12,770 --> 01:59:15,523
or an engagement at the Harmonia Gardens!
2027
01:59:15,606 --> 01:59:16,983
Fifty!
2028
01:59:17,066 --> 01:59:19,318
RUDOLPH:
Everybody, dance!
2029
01:59:19,402 --> 01:59:21,696
(band plays)
2030
01:59:25,491 --> 01:59:29,120
-Your check, sir.
-Another bottle of champagne.
2031
01:59:31,914 --> 01:59:34,083
(music continues)
2032
01:59:48,222 --> 01:59:51,392
♪♪
2033
01:59:56,189 --> 01:59:57,481
DOLLY: Mmm!
2034
01:59:58,316 --> 02:00:00,651
Look at that man, Horace.
Oh, what grace. What talent.
2035
02:00:00,735 --> 02:00:03,404
What a magnificent living
he could earn with his feet. Hmm.
2036
02:00:03,487 --> 02:00:05,031
-Horace, look.
-Where?
2037
02:00:05,114 --> 02:00:06,365
There.
2038
02:00:10,745 --> 02:00:13,706
-Wait a minute.
-DOLLY: Oh, isn't he wonderful?
2039
02:00:13,789 --> 02:00:16,167
That's Ambrose Kemper, so-called artist.
2040
02:00:16,250 --> 02:00:17,835
Why, so it is.
2041
02:00:18,461 --> 02:00:22,340
No wonder his pictures are so awful.
He must paint with his feet.
2042
02:00:22,423 --> 02:00:24,133
DOLLY: He's sure to win first prize.
2043
02:00:24,217 --> 02:00:26,969
HORACE: Ermengarde should see him now,
dancing with another girl.
2044
02:00:27,053 --> 02:00:29,347
Mmm. And such a pretty little thing, too.
2045
02:00:29,430 --> 02:00:31,557
Shameful. That's what it is. Shameful!
2046
02:00:32,725 --> 02:00:35,228
♪♪
2047
02:00:43,152 --> 02:00:46,572
Look! There's that Molloy woman
dancing with a man.
2048
02:00:47,657 --> 02:00:48,658
I think it's a man.
2049
02:00:51,035 --> 02:00:54,497
And only a few hours ago
she was waiting for me to propose.
2050
02:00:55,081 --> 02:00:56,207
Shocking.
2051
02:00:56,290 --> 02:00:59,043
-No faithfulness left in this world.
-Oh, I agree. I certainly do.
2052
02:00:59,126 --> 02:01:01,587
And it's--it's very selfish
that people like us
2053
02:01:01,671 --> 02:01:03,297
don't jump right up and marry someone
2054
02:01:03,381 --> 02:01:04,840
just to set the world a good example.
2055
02:01:06,759 --> 02:01:08,719
♪♪
2056
02:01:11,305 --> 02:01:12,640
My hat!
2057
02:01:17,019 --> 02:01:19,981
-I'm trying to find--
-(people chuckling)
2058
02:01:20,690 --> 02:01:21,774
Excuse me.
2059
02:01:24,902 --> 02:01:26,279
Oh.
2060
02:01:27,613 --> 02:01:28,948
Ermengarde.
2061
02:01:30,950 --> 02:01:32,076
Uncle.
2062
02:01:32,159 --> 02:01:34,370
-My niece!
-(woman screams)
2063
02:01:37,623 --> 02:01:40,418
-You are a disgrace to Yonkers!
-Stop that!
2064
02:01:43,170 --> 02:01:45,214
(growls)
2065
02:01:45,965 --> 02:01:48,259
-HORACE: Don't you dare--
-Come here, you!
2066
02:01:51,220 --> 02:01:53,431
RUDOLPH:
Mr. Vandergelder! The contest!
2067
02:01:53,514 --> 02:01:55,141
I'll show you a contest!
2068
02:01:58,352 --> 02:01:59,645
Call the police!
2069
02:02:01,230 --> 02:02:02,732
Call the police!
2070
02:02:05,067 --> 02:02:07,069
Uncle Horace, we can explain!
2071
02:02:07,153 --> 02:02:09,155
Explain? I'll give you--
2072
02:02:13,701 --> 02:02:14,994
(wood smashing)
2073
02:02:31,719 --> 02:02:34,597
Cornelius Hackl.
What are you doing in New York?
2074
02:02:34,680 --> 02:02:36,349
I'm just delivering some oats.
2075
02:02:36,432 --> 02:02:39,602
Oats? With my former intended?
You're discharged.
2076
02:02:39,685 --> 02:02:42,271
-You can't fire me. I quit.
-So do I.
2077
02:02:42,646 --> 02:02:45,608
-Barnaby Tucker, you're discharged.
-You can't fire me. I quit.
2078
02:02:45,691 --> 02:02:47,068
MINNIE: So do I!
2079
02:02:47,151 --> 02:02:49,904
♪♪
2080
02:02:58,245 --> 02:02:59,497
I'm sorry.
2081
02:03:00,081 --> 02:03:02,291
♪♪
2082
02:03:08,672 --> 02:03:10,216
(growls)
2083
02:03:12,802 --> 02:03:14,011
(Horace groans)
2084
02:03:16,472 --> 02:03:17,640
DOLLY: Oh!
2085
02:03:20,559 --> 02:03:22,395
Horace Vandergelder,
2086
02:03:22,478 --> 02:03:25,439
flat on your back, you are still charming.
2087
02:03:27,483 --> 02:03:30,361
Cornelius. Barnaby.
2088
02:03:31,862 --> 02:03:33,155
Perhaps there's a way
2089
02:03:33,239 --> 02:03:36,951
I can get Mr. Vandergelder
to give you back your jobs.
2090
02:03:37,034 --> 02:03:39,328
What? How?
2091
02:03:40,538 --> 02:03:43,332
I could become his wife.
2092
02:03:46,419 --> 02:03:48,379
-No, that's impossible.
-It is?
2093
02:03:49,130 --> 02:03:51,298
-Yes.
-But why, Cornelius?
2094
02:03:52,216 --> 02:03:55,177
-Because. That's why.
-But you have to give me a reason.
2095
02:03:55,261 --> 02:03:56,720
-Never mind the reason.
-Cornelius.
2096
02:03:56,804 --> 02:03:58,180
-Never mind the reason.
-Shh!
2097
02:03:58,264 --> 02:04:00,724
-And don't tell me to shush.
-POLICEMAN: What's going on there?
2098
02:04:00,808 --> 02:04:02,059
-BARNABY: Cornelius!
-MINNIE: Irene!
2099
02:04:02,143 --> 02:04:03,894
-Quick!
-Hey, you!
2100
02:04:04,395 --> 02:04:05,688
What's all this noise?
2101
02:04:06,188 --> 02:04:09,567
-What's happening here?
-Now you stay out of this, Officer.
2102
02:04:09,650 --> 02:04:12,153
-Are you all right, miss?
-I'll let you know in a little while.
2103
02:04:12,236 --> 02:04:13,195
You, young man.
2104
02:04:13,279 --> 02:04:15,114
I'm only trying to tell
this lady something.
2105
02:04:15,197 --> 02:04:16,907
Well, it's too late, and you're too loud,
2106
02:04:16,991 --> 02:04:18,701
and I should run you
in for disturbing the peace.
2107
02:04:18,784 --> 02:04:20,202
No, it's not too late.
2108
02:04:20,286 --> 02:04:22,496
(chuckles) That's why I'm shouting.
2109
02:04:22,580 --> 02:04:24,331
For 28 years--
2110
02:04:24,415 --> 02:04:26,959
my whole life-- I never did anything.
2111
02:04:27,042 --> 02:04:29,587
I just worked, took orders,
never went anywhere.
2112
02:04:29,670 --> 02:04:30,796
Stayed in Yonkers.
2113
02:04:30,880 --> 02:04:33,299
-Yonkers?
-And today,
2114
02:04:33,382 --> 02:04:36,010
the most important thing
that can happen to a man,
2115
02:04:36,093 --> 02:04:38,721
that might never have happened
if I'd stayed in Yonkers,
2116
02:04:38,804 --> 02:04:42,224
happened to me because I left Yonkers
and came to New York
2117
02:04:42,308 --> 02:04:45,686
and met this lady--
met her this afternoon.
2118
02:04:45,769 --> 02:04:48,230
Well. Mister-- (scoffs)
2119
02:04:48,314 --> 02:04:50,316
Just what are you talkin' about?
2120
02:04:50,399 --> 02:04:56,071
Officer, I'm talking about
none other than love.
2121
02:04:56,155 --> 02:04:58,574
-TOGETHER: Love?
-Love?
2122
02:04:58,657 --> 02:05:03,245
Young man, are you trying to tell me
that after 28 years in Yonkers,
2123
02:05:03,329 --> 02:05:06,040
you've fallen in love
with this young lady in one day?
2124
02:05:06,123 --> 02:05:08,000
Oh, no, Officer, I didn't fall in love
2125
02:05:08,083 --> 02:05:10,711
with Miss Irene Molloy
of this city in just a day.
2126
02:05:10,794 --> 02:05:13,339
It was much quicker than that. An hour.
2127
02:05:13,422 --> 02:05:16,383
No, even that's too long.
What's less than a minute?
2128
02:05:16,467 --> 02:05:17,343
MAN: A second?
2129
02:05:17,426 --> 02:05:18,844
-Less than that.
-A moment.
2130
02:05:19,428 --> 02:05:21,972
CORNELIUS:
That's it. That is it.
2131
02:05:22,681 --> 02:05:25,476
Now, all of you, listen to me.
2132
02:05:26,477 --> 02:05:28,854
Oh. Please.
2133
02:05:28,938 --> 02:05:30,981
♪♪
2134
02:05:31,065 --> 02:05:34,735
♪ It only ♪
2135
02:05:34,818 --> 02:05:38,822
♪ Takes a moment ♪
2136
02:05:38,906 --> 02:05:42,535
♪ For your eyes to meet ♪
2137
02:05:43,202 --> 02:05:46,622
♪ And then ♪
2138
02:05:47,414 --> 02:05:51,252
♪ Your heart knows ♪
2139
02:05:51,502 --> 02:05:55,381
♪ In a moment ♪
2140
02:05:55,714 --> 02:06:00,636
♪ You will never be ♪
2141
02:06:01,136 --> 02:06:06,934
♪ Alone again ♪
2142
02:06:07,768 --> 02:06:11,981
♪ I held her ♪
2143
02:06:12,481 --> 02:06:16,235
♪ For an instant ♪
2144
02:06:16,860 --> 02:06:21,657
♪ But my arms felt sure ♪
2145
02:06:21,740 --> 02:06:26,203
♪ And strong ♪
2146
02:06:26,870 --> 02:06:31,500
♪ It only ♪
2147
02:06:31,584 --> 02:06:37,089
♪ Takes a moment ♪
2148
02:06:37,715 --> 02:06:41,468
♪ To be loved ♪
2149
02:06:42,136 --> 02:06:46,765
♪ A whole life ♪
2150
02:06:46,849 --> 02:06:50,603
♪ Long ♪
2151
02:06:52,813 --> 02:06:55,691
Isn't the world full of wonderful things?
2152
02:06:57,109 --> 02:07:00,279
I have lost so many things:
my job, my future--
2153
02:07:00,362 --> 02:07:03,907
Everything that people
think is important-- but I don't care.
2154
02:07:03,991 --> 02:07:07,036
'Cause even if I have to dig ditches
for the rest of my life,
2155
02:07:07,661 --> 02:07:11,790
I shall be a ditchdigger
who once had a wonderful day.
2156
02:07:12,625 --> 02:07:16,462
Mister, do you mind?
I came in late. Right after--
2157
02:07:16,545 --> 02:07:19,006
(off-key) ♪ It only ♪
2158
02:07:19,089 --> 02:07:23,052
♪ Takes a moment ♪
2159
02:07:23,135 --> 02:07:28,015
♪ But his arms felt sure ♪
2160
02:07:28,098 --> 02:07:31,935
♪ And strong ♪
2161
02:07:32,019 --> 02:07:35,689
♪ It only ♪
2162
02:07:36,148 --> 02:07:41,862
♪ Takes a moment ♪
2163
02:07:43,781 --> 02:07:47,826
♪ He held me ♪
2164
02:07:48,410 --> 02:07:52,748
♪ For an instant ♪
2165
02:07:53,207 --> 02:07:56,293
♪ But his arms ♪
2166
02:07:56,377 --> 02:08:03,342
♪ Felt safe and strong ♪
2167
02:08:04,009 --> 02:08:07,888
♪ It only ♪
2168
02:08:08,138 --> 02:08:12,935
♪ Takes a moment ♪
2169
02:08:13,519 --> 02:08:17,314
♪ To be loved ♪
2170
02:08:17,398 --> 02:08:21,235
♪ A whole life ♪
2171
02:08:21,318 --> 02:08:24,279
♪ Long ♪
2172
02:08:25,698 --> 02:08:30,285
♪ And that is all ♪
2173
02:08:30,828 --> 02:08:35,541
♪ That love's about ♪
2174
02:08:36,083 --> 02:08:40,921
♪ And we'll recall ♪
2175
02:08:41,463 --> 02:08:48,303
♪ When time runs out ♪
2176
02:08:49,388 --> 02:08:56,019
♪ That it only ♪
2177
02:08:56,353 --> 02:09:02,276
♪ Took a moment ♪
2178
02:09:03,318 --> 02:09:07,781
♪ To be loved ♪
2179
02:09:08,407 --> 02:09:14,204
♪ A whole life ♪
2180
02:09:14,747 --> 02:09:19,334
♪ Long ♪
2181
02:09:22,921 --> 02:09:25,549
And tell Rudolph not to worry
about the damage.
2182
02:09:25,632 --> 02:09:28,093
Just send the bill to Vandergelder's
Hay and Feed Store,
2183
02:09:28,177 --> 02:09:29,428
Yonkers, New York.
2184
02:09:32,181 --> 02:09:35,225
-Well, there's your life for you, Horace.
-I don't want to hear about it.
2185
02:09:35,309 --> 02:09:37,978
Without niece, without bride,
without clerks.
2186
02:09:38,061 --> 02:09:39,855
Look. I'm tired. I've got a backache.
2187
02:09:40,564 --> 02:09:41,815
That's about all you do have.
2188
02:09:41,899 --> 02:09:43,817
-I hope you're satisfied.
-Never mind.
2189
02:09:44,359 --> 02:09:46,820
Well, I guess there's only one thing more
for me to say then.
2190
02:09:46,904 --> 02:09:48,655
And I've been meaning to say it all night.
2191
02:09:48,739 --> 02:09:51,283
If it's to ask me to marry you,
Dolly Levi, never.
2192
02:09:51,366 --> 02:09:54,828
-Not in a million years.
-It wasn't that at all, Horace.
2193
02:09:55,454 --> 02:09:57,456
All I wanted to say was--
2194
02:09:57,539 --> 02:09:59,750
-♪ Good-bye ♪
-What?
2195
02:10:00,250 --> 02:10:02,377
-♪ Good-bye ♪
-What are you talking about?
2196
02:10:02,461 --> 02:10:04,087
♪ Good-bye ♪
2197
02:10:04,171 --> 02:10:06,632
♪ Good-bye ♪
2198
02:10:06,715 --> 02:10:08,967
♪ Good-bye ♪
2199
02:10:09,051 --> 02:10:12,179
♪ Good-bye, good-bye ♪
2200
02:10:12,262 --> 02:10:14,056
-Nonsense.
-Don't try to stop me, Horace.
2201
02:10:14,139 --> 02:10:16,058
♪ Please ♪
2202
02:10:16,141 --> 02:10:19,394
♪ Wave your little hand
and whisper "So long, dearie" ♪
2203
02:10:19,478 --> 02:10:22,272
♪ You ain't gonna see me anymore ♪
2204
02:10:22,356 --> 02:10:25,567
♪ And when you discover
that your life is dreary ♪
2205
02:10:25,651 --> 02:10:28,362
♪ Don't you come a-knockin' at my door ♪
2206
02:10:28,445 --> 02:10:31,490
♪ 'Cause I'll be all dolled up
and singin' that song ♪
2207
02:10:31,573 --> 02:10:34,535
♪ That says, you dog, I told you so ♪
2208
02:10:35,077 --> 02:10:38,121
♪ So wave your little hand
and whisper "So long, dearie" ♪
2209
02:10:38,205 --> 02:10:41,166
♪ Dearie should have said
"so long" so long ago ♪
2210
02:10:43,085 --> 02:10:46,255
♪ Because you treated me
so rotten and rough ♪
2211
02:10:46,338 --> 02:10:49,883
♪ I have had enough of feeling low ♪
2212
02:10:49,967 --> 02:10:53,011
♪ So wave your little hand
and whisper "So long, dearie" ♪
2213
02:10:53,095 --> 02:10:56,431
♪ Dearie should have said
"so long" so long ago ♪
2214
02:10:57,850 --> 02:11:01,144
♪ Oh, I can hear that choo-choo
callin' me on ♪
2215
02:11:01,228 --> 02:11:04,189
♪ To a fancy new address ♪
2216
02:11:04,273 --> 02:11:07,818
♪ Yes, I can hear that choo-choo
callin' me on ♪
2217
02:11:07,901 --> 02:11:10,696
♪ On board that happiness express ♪
2218
02:11:10,779 --> 02:11:14,408
♪ I'm gonna learn to dance and drink
and smoke a cigarette ♪
2219
02:11:14,491 --> 02:11:17,953
♪ I'm goin' as far away
from Yonkers ♪
2220
02:11:18,036 --> 02:11:22,291
♪ As a girl can get ♪
2221
02:11:23,208 --> 02:11:25,002
♪ So ♪
2222
02:11:25,085 --> 02:11:27,129
♪♪
2223
02:11:29,506 --> 02:11:32,843
And on those cold winter nights, Horace...
2224
02:11:37,264 --> 02:11:40,517
you can snuggle up to your cash register.
2225
02:11:45,063 --> 02:11:47,524
It's a little lumpy, but it rings.
2226
02:11:49,234 --> 02:11:50,485
♪ Don't come a-knockin' ♪
2227
02:11:50,569 --> 02:11:53,488
♪ I'll be all dolled up
and singin' that song ♪
2228
02:11:53,572 --> 02:11:57,242
♪ That says, you dog, I told you so ♪
2229
02:11:57,326 --> 02:12:00,412
♪ So, Horace, you'll find
your life a sad old story ♪
2230
02:12:00,495 --> 02:12:03,582
♪ You'll be livin' in
that lonesome territory ♪
2231
02:12:03,665 --> 02:12:06,543
♪ When you see your Dolly
shuffle off to glory ♪
2232
02:12:06,627 --> 02:12:09,546
♪ Oh, I should've said so long ♪
2233
02:12:09,630 --> 02:12:12,966
♪ How could I have been wrong ♪
2234
02:12:13,050 --> 02:12:18,096
♪ Oh, I should have said so long ♪
2235
02:12:18,180 --> 02:12:20,682
(gasping)
2236
02:12:20,849 --> 02:12:23,810
♪ So long ♪
2237
02:12:23,894 --> 02:12:30,859
♪ Ago ♪
2238
02:12:34,863 --> 02:12:36,531
-(chattering)
-(bicycle bell dings)
2239
02:12:36,615 --> 02:12:38,909
(barks)
2240
02:12:38,992 --> 02:12:42,287
(boys shouting)
2241
02:12:45,290 --> 02:12:46,375
HORACE: Quiet!
2242
02:12:46,959 --> 02:12:50,295
Quiet down there, you little monsters.
2243
02:12:50,379 --> 02:12:52,214
Cornelius. Barnaby.
2244
02:12:54,424 --> 02:12:55,801
Do you hear me down there?
2245
02:12:56,593 --> 02:12:57,970
Ermengarde!
2246
02:12:59,012 --> 02:13:00,305
What the devil is this?
2247
02:13:01,264 --> 02:13:03,225
What's this chicken mash doing all over?
2248
02:13:07,938 --> 02:13:09,189
(can clatters)
2249
02:13:10,899 --> 02:13:12,651
Cornelius! Barnaby!
2250
02:13:13,193 --> 02:13:15,737
Get up here this minute
and clean up this mess.
2251
02:13:23,286 --> 02:13:24,329
Well, good riddance.
2252
02:13:24,871 --> 02:13:27,040
Didn't need you before,
and I don't need you now.
2253
02:13:28,083 --> 02:13:29,292
Ermengarde!
2254
02:13:30,043 --> 02:13:31,670
I'm ready for my breakfast.
2255
02:13:32,462 --> 02:13:34,756
I want three eggs with crisp bacon
2256
02:13:34,840 --> 02:13:37,718
and hot porridge with cream and grits.
2257
02:13:44,850 --> 02:13:46,351
It's not fair.
2258
02:13:49,229 --> 02:13:51,898
It's worse than that. It's lonely.
2259
02:13:58,780 --> 02:14:03,952
Not in a million years, Dolly Levi.
2260
02:14:04,703 --> 02:14:08,290
You go your way, and I'll go mine.
2261
02:14:14,046 --> 02:14:15,714
ERMENGARDE: Good morning, Uncle Horace.
2262
02:14:15,797 --> 02:14:18,008
-Good morning, Mr. Vandergelder.
-Morning.
2263
02:14:19,342 --> 02:14:21,428
Oh. Come crawling back, have you?
2264
02:14:21,511 --> 02:14:23,096
Well, I have a good mind not to take you,
2265
02:14:23,180 --> 02:14:25,015
but being as how I'm so softhearted,
2266
02:14:25,098 --> 02:14:27,184
go get your aprons and start
cleaning up this mess.
2267
02:14:28,101 --> 02:14:30,687
We're not coming back to work
for you, Mr. Vandergelder.
2268
02:14:30,771 --> 02:14:32,481
-What?
-(whimpers)
2269
02:14:32,564 --> 02:14:35,067
Barnaby and I are just
stopping by for our money.
2270
02:14:35,150 --> 02:14:37,110
You see, sir, we decided
to go into business.
2271
02:14:37,194 --> 02:14:38,153
Business?
2272
02:14:38,737 --> 02:14:41,573
And since the only business
we know is hay and feed,
2273
02:14:41,656 --> 02:14:42,824
we're opening our own store.
2274
02:14:42,908 --> 02:14:45,535
Mrs. Levi's found
the perfect location for us.
2275
02:14:45,619 --> 02:14:48,663
-Right across the street from you.
-She wouldn't dare.
2276
02:14:48,747 --> 02:14:51,374
Hackl and Tucker, Incorporated.
2277
02:14:51,875 --> 02:14:53,877
(scoffs) You'll last for a week.
2278
02:14:54,544 --> 02:14:57,005
-What about my breakfast?
-Uncle Horace--
2279
02:14:59,925 --> 02:15:02,719
I think you'd better start learning
how to make it yourself.
2280
02:15:05,931 --> 02:15:08,683
All right, all right.
My conscience is clear.
2281
02:15:08,767 --> 02:15:12,104
A man can do only so much to keep fools
from their own natural folly.
2282
02:15:12,187 --> 02:15:15,732
Why, Horace Vandergelder,
as I live and breathe.
2283
02:15:15,816 --> 02:15:17,359
How well you look today.
2284
02:15:18,068 --> 02:15:19,986
I just came by to return your cane.
2285
02:15:20,070 --> 02:15:21,488
So don't let me interrupt.
2286
02:15:21,571 --> 02:15:24,116
Uh, you were all doing something?
What were you doing?
2287
02:15:24,199 --> 02:15:26,409
We were getting Cornelius
and Barnaby's money.
2288
02:15:26,493 --> 02:15:30,705
-$146.35.
-Plus $6.12 of mine.
2289
02:15:30,789 --> 02:15:36,086
-And the money my mama left me.
-That's right. $52.48.
2290
02:15:36,169 --> 02:15:39,756
-Thirty-eight, idiot.
-Forty-eight, Uncle.
2291
02:15:41,049 --> 02:15:43,885
-I'm positive I have--
-(all chattering)
2292
02:15:44,719 --> 02:15:46,721
HORACE: All right. All right. All right.
2293
02:15:46,805 --> 02:15:48,932
If all you can think about
at a time like this is money,
2294
02:15:49,015 --> 02:15:50,058
the safe is upstairs!
2295
02:15:50,851 --> 02:15:52,185
(squeals) Come!
2296
02:15:54,771 --> 02:15:58,567
And I have the combination.
You stay here.
2297
02:15:59,401 --> 02:16:00,819
If you insist, Horace.
2298
02:16:07,284 --> 02:16:08,827
(sighs)
2299
02:16:16,501 --> 02:16:18,753
(chuckles)
2300
02:16:18,837 --> 02:16:20,297
Ephraim Levi,
2301
02:16:20,964 --> 02:16:22,924
I'm gonna get married again.
2302
02:16:24,092 --> 02:16:27,095
I'm gonna marry Horace Vandergelder.
2303
02:16:29,264 --> 02:16:30,974
And I'm asking your permission.
2304
02:16:32,225 --> 02:16:35,353
It won't be a marriage
in the sense that we had one,
2305
02:16:35,437 --> 02:16:37,898
but I shall certainly make him happy.
2306
02:16:37,981 --> 02:16:39,441
You can be sure of that.
2307
02:16:40,233 --> 02:16:44,237
I am going to marry Horace Vandergelder
2308
02:16:44,321 --> 02:16:47,032
and send his money out into the world
2309
02:16:47,115 --> 02:16:48,867
doing all the things you taught me.
2310
02:16:49,910 --> 02:16:52,078
As you always used to say, Ephraim,
2311
02:16:52,162 --> 02:16:54,831
"Money--" pardon the expression--
2312
02:16:54,915 --> 02:16:56,791
"is like manure.
2313
02:16:56,875 --> 02:17:00,545
"It's not worth a thing
unless it's spread around,
2314
02:17:00,629 --> 02:17:03,006
encouraging young things to grow."
2315
02:17:03,089 --> 02:17:04,841
Anyhow,
2316
02:17:04,925 --> 02:17:08,595
that's the opinion of the future
Mrs. Horace Vandergelder.
2317
02:17:09,262 --> 02:17:10,722
And, Ephraim,
2318
02:17:11,640 --> 02:17:15,518
I'm still waiting for that sign
that you approve.
2319
02:17:16,811 --> 02:17:18,813
(footsteps approaching)
2320
02:17:21,691 --> 02:17:24,236
-Mr. Vandergelder.
-Outside, front and back.
2321
02:17:32,077 --> 02:17:33,745
Bossy,
2322
02:17:33,828 --> 02:17:36,289
scheming, meddling,
2323
02:17:36,373 --> 02:17:39,793
irritating, inquisitive, exasperating.
2324
02:17:41,086 --> 02:17:42,379
Horace.
2325
02:17:43,129 --> 02:17:45,715
I know you're no longer interested,
2326
02:17:45,799 --> 02:17:47,509
but, um,
2327
02:17:47,592 --> 02:17:49,844
I have found you the ideal wife.
2328
02:17:49,928 --> 02:17:52,931
Dolly Levi, I don't want you
to find me any ideal wives!
2329
02:17:53,014 --> 02:17:55,183
If I want an ideal wife,
I'll find one of my own,
2330
02:17:55,267 --> 02:17:57,060
and I have found her,
and it's you, damn it!
2331
02:18:00,188 --> 02:18:02,941
I know I've been a fool,
and I probably always will be,
2332
02:18:03,024 --> 02:18:06,319
but, Dolly, forgive me and marry me.
2333
02:18:11,157 --> 02:18:14,911
No, Horace. I--I don't dare. I don't dare.
2334
02:18:14,995 --> 02:18:15,996
What do you mean?
2335
02:18:16,079 --> 02:18:19,124
Well, um, uh, you know as well as I do
2336
02:18:19,207 --> 02:18:21,793
that you're the first citizen of Yonkers.
2337
02:18:21,876 --> 02:18:25,755
And your wife would have
to be a--a somebody.
2338
02:18:25,839 --> 02:18:28,383
You are. You are.
A wonderful woman.
2339
02:18:28,466 --> 02:18:31,511
Yes, but, uh, do you really think
I have it in me
2340
02:18:31,594 --> 02:18:35,056
to forgo fancy clothes
and expensive jewels,
2341
02:18:35,140 --> 02:18:37,559
and instead be a benefactress
to half the town?
2342
02:18:40,645 --> 02:18:43,690
In other words, to be a credit to you?
2343
02:18:45,859 --> 02:18:49,362
Dolly, everybody knows that you could do
anything you wanted to do.
2344
02:18:51,906 --> 02:18:55,535
By the way, Horace, here's the money
I borrowed from you yesterday.
2345
02:18:56,536 --> 02:18:57,746
Keep it. Keep it.
2346
02:19:01,041 --> 02:19:02,584
(sobs) Oh, Horace.
2347
02:19:03,543 --> 02:19:07,505
Oh, I--I never thought I'd ever hear you
say anything like that.
2348
02:19:07,589 --> 02:19:10,258
(chuckles)
2349
02:19:10,342 --> 02:19:11,384
You know, it's bad business
2350
02:19:11,468 --> 02:19:13,428
letting Cornelius open a store
across the street from you.
2351
02:19:13,511 --> 02:19:14,387
It was your idea.
2352
02:19:14,471 --> 02:19:15,972
You better take him back
and let him be your partner.
2353
02:19:16,056 --> 02:19:18,183
-Partner?
-And Barnaby can have Cornelius's old job.
2354
02:19:18,266 --> 02:19:20,226
-Now, wait a minute, Dolly.
-That way we can all be together
2355
02:19:20,310 --> 02:19:21,603
so we can dance at Ermengarde's wedding.
2356
02:19:21,686 --> 02:19:23,396
That does it! You've gone too far.
2357
02:19:23,480 --> 02:19:24,814
-I'll dance at no wedding.
-Horace!
2358
02:19:24,898 --> 02:19:25,982
Besides, I don't know how to dance.
2359
02:19:26,066 --> 02:19:27,484
It would take me weeks,
months, years to learn.
2360
02:19:27,567 --> 02:19:29,277
-All right. I'll dance.
-And you will love it.
2361
02:19:29,361 --> 02:19:30,737
MAN: Excuse me, Mr. Vandergelder.
2362
02:19:30,820 --> 02:19:32,072
I said outside. Now get moving.
2363
02:19:32,155 --> 02:19:34,991
Horace Vandergelder, now,
what is going on around here?
2364
02:19:35,075 --> 02:19:38,745
Oh, nothing. I just thought I'd have
the shutters done over in forest green.
2365
02:19:40,038 --> 02:19:41,539
Forest green shutters?
2366
02:19:41,623 --> 02:19:43,166
I know the old paint's still good,
2367
02:19:43,249 --> 02:19:45,794
but that fella's just set up in business
and needs a good start.
2368
02:19:46,711 --> 02:19:49,422
You see, Dolly,
I've always felt that money--
2369
02:19:49,506 --> 02:19:51,883
pardon the expression-- is like manure.
2370
02:19:51,966 --> 02:19:55,136
It's not worth a thing
unless it's spread around,
2371
02:19:55,220 --> 02:19:57,931
encouraging young things to grow.
2372
02:19:58,973 --> 02:20:00,558
Thank you, Ephraim.
2373
02:20:01,810 --> 02:20:05,230
♪ Hello, Dolly ♪
2374
02:20:05,313 --> 02:20:08,733
♪ Well, hello, Dolly ♪
2375
02:20:09,526 --> 02:20:13,530
♪ It's so nice to have you here ♪
2376
02:20:13,613 --> 02:20:16,741
♪ Where you belong ♪
2377
02:20:19,327 --> 02:20:24,082
♪ I never knew, Dolly ♪
2378
02:20:24,165 --> 02:20:28,253
♪ Without you, Dolly ♪
2379
02:20:28,336 --> 02:20:31,297
♪ Life was awfully flat ♪
2380
02:20:31,381 --> 02:20:36,845
♪ And, more than that was awfully wrong ♪
2381
02:20:38,638 --> 02:20:41,891
♪♪
2382
02:20:55,864 --> 02:21:00,076
♪ Here's my hat, Horace ♪
2383
02:21:00,160 --> 02:21:04,622
♪ I'm stayin' where I'm at, Horace ♪
2384
02:21:04,706 --> 02:21:10,587
♪ Dolly'll never go away ♪
2385
02:21:10,670 --> 02:21:12,881
Wonderful woman.
2386
02:21:12,964 --> 02:21:18,970
♪ Again ♪
2387
02:21:21,097 --> 02:21:26,060
♪ Put on your Sunday clothes
when you feel down and out ♪
2388
02:21:26,144 --> 02:21:29,856
♪ Strut down the street
and have your picture took ♪
2389
02:21:31,065 --> 02:21:35,695
♪ Dressed like a dream
your spirits seem to turn about ♪
2390
02:21:35,778 --> 02:21:38,072
♪ That Sunday shine is a certain sign ♪
2391
02:21:38,156 --> 02:21:41,409
♪ That you feel as fine as you look ♪
2392
02:21:41,493 --> 02:21:45,747
♪ Take the someone whose arms you're in ♪
2393
02:21:45,830 --> 02:21:48,958
♪ Hold on to her tight and spin ♪
2394
02:21:49,042 --> 02:21:51,127
♪ And one, two, three ♪
2395
02:21:51,211 --> 02:21:53,671
♪ One, two, three, one, two, three, look ♪
2396
02:21:54,631 --> 02:21:59,052
♪ I held her ♪
2397
02:21:59,135 --> 02:22:02,597
♪ For an instant ♪
2398
02:22:02,680 --> 02:22:06,559
♪ But my arms felt sure ♪
2399
02:22:06,643 --> 02:22:10,230
♪ And strong ♪
2400
02:22:10,396 --> 02:22:13,483
♪ It only ♪
2401
02:22:13,566 --> 02:22:17,153
♪ Takes a moment ♪
2402
02:22:17,237 --> 02:22:23,952
♪ To be loved a whole life long ♪
2403
02:22:25,036 --> 02:22:27,288
♪ Yes, it takes a woman ♪
2404
02:22:27,372 --> 02:22:29,165
♪ A dainty woman ♪
2405
02:22:29,374 --> 02:22:32,252
♪ A sweetheart, a mistress, a wife ♪
2406
02:22:33,169 --> 02:22:35,505
♪ Oh, yes it takes a woman ♪
2407
02:22:35,588 --> 02:22:37,632
♪ A fragile woman ♪
2408
02:22:37,715 --> 02:22:40,218
♪ To bring you the sweet things in life ♪
2409
02:22:40,843 --> 02:22:43,846
♪ Well, well ♪
2410
02:22:43,930 --> 02:22:47,684
♪ Hello, Dolly ♪
2411
02:22:47,767 --> 02:22:51,104
♪ Well, hello, Dolly ♪
2412
02:22:51,187 --> 02:22:56,776
♪ It's so nice to have you back
where you belong ♪
2413
02:22:57,819 --> 02:23:01,573
♪ You're looking swell, Dolly ♪
2414
02:23:01,656 --> 02:23:05,201
♪ We can tell, Dolly ♪
2415
02:23:05,285 --> 02:23:08,454
♪ You're still glowin',
you're still crowin' ♪
2416
02:23:08,538 --> 02:23:12,292
♪ You're still goin' strong ♪
2417
02:23:12,375 --> 02:23:18,881
♪ Just see the crowd ♪
2418
02:23:18,965 --> 02:23:20,091
♪ Swayin' ♪
2419
02:23:20,174 --> 02:23:24,429
♪ While the band's playin' ♪
2420
02:23:24,512 --> 02:23:28,474
♪ One of your old favorite songs ♪
2421
02:23:28,558 --> 02:23:32,228
♪ From way back when ♪
2422
02:23:32,312 --> 02:23:34,480
♪ So ♪
2423
02:23:35,148 --> 02:23:38,943
♪ Wow, wow, wow, fellas ♪
2424
02:23:39,777 --> 02:23:43,072
♪ Look at the old girl now, fellas ♪
2425
02:23:43,531 --> 02:23:47,827
♪ Dolly'll never go away ♪
2426
02:23:47,910 --> 02:23:52,373
♪ Dolly'll never go away ♪
2427
02:23:52,457 --> 02:23:59,172
♪ Dolly'll never go away ♪
2428
02:24:00,465 --> 02:24:07,472
♪ Again ♪
2429
02:24:18,983 --> 02:24:21,152
♪♪
2430
02:24:42,298 --> 02:24:44,217
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