1 00:00:29,020 --> 00:00:32,033 Moscow on the Hudson 2 00:01:21,008 --> 00:01:25,079 Excuse me, please, sir. Does this bus go to the Lincoln Center? 3 00:01:26,033 --> 00:01:28,062 -Lincoln Center? -Yes. 4 00:01:28,075 --> 00:01:32,041 You're on the wrong bus. It's okay, don't worry. 5 00:01:32,087 --> 00:01:37,075 All you have to do is go to 57th Street, change buses and get on the No. 30 bus. 6 00:01:38,083 --> 00:01:41,012 Don't worry. I'll let you know when it's time. 7 00:01:41,037 --> 00:01:44,037 Then you go and get a free transfer from the driver. 8 00:01:45,033 --> 00:01:47,025 -Thank you. -No problem. 9 00:01:47,075 --> 00:01:50,066 It's tough getting around here at first. 10 00:02:54,033 --> 00:02:57,029 I WANT TO GO TO ISRAEL 11 00:03:10,091 --> 00:03:12,025 Toilet paper? 12 00:03:12,087 --> 00:03:14,012 Shoes, I think. 13 00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:18,050 They must be Czech or Polish for such a line. 14 00:03:18,083 --> 00:03:20,091 I don't know. 15 00:03:35,079 --> 00:03:37,054 Size? 16 00:03:38,066 --> 00:03:39,066 Forty-five. 17 00:03:39,091 --> 00:03:41,033 No forty-fives left. 18 00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:43,075 Forty-four or forty-six will do. 19 00:03:44,045 --> 00:03:46,000 We only have thirty-eights. 20 00:03:46,012 --> 00:03:47,004 I'll take three pairs. 21 00:03:47,016 --> 00:03:48,083 Only two to a customer. 22 00:03:48,087 --> 00:03:50,029 Two thirty-eights, then. 23 00:04:24,037 --> 00:04:29,041 If you want to go on the New York tour you'd better behave. 24 00:04:32,066 --> 00:04:37,083 You are late. We're getting ready. Don't you want to go to New York? 25 00:04:40,008 --> 00:04:42,000 I couldn't help it. 26 00:04:47,029 --> 00:04:48,041 Czech? 27 00:04:48,075 --> 00:04:50,012 The queue was endless. 28 00:04:50,062 --> 00:04:51,095 I wear a forty-two. 29 00:04:52,004 --> 00:04:53,058 These are thirty-eight. 30 00:04:54,062 --> 00:04:56,008 How much? 31 00:04:56,083 --> 00:04:57,079 Forty roubles. 32 00:04:57,091 --> 00:04:59,000 Forty? 33 00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:03,033 I know you only paid twenty. 34 00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:07,033 All right. I give them to you as a gift. 35 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,033 Why forty, you only paid twenty? 36 00:05:16,091 --> 00:05:21,070 Did you lick his ass good? Was it tasty? 37 00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:02,033 When you arrive in New York, you must understand... 38 00:06:02,041 --> 00:06:05,075 ...that you are representatives of the nation of the revolution. 39 00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:09,079 Many people will take perverse pleasure in tempting you with American decadence. 40 00:06:10,045 --> 00:06:12,000 KGB pig! 41 00:06:12,016 --> 00:06:15,054 They see you as targets for seduction. 42 00:06:16,016 --> 00:06:22,020 Prostitutes will try to tempt you with their unhealthy immorality. 43 00:06:24,037 --> 00:06:29,000 And stay away from places like the subway. 44 00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:33,025 Times Square. 45 00:06:34,091 --> 00:06:37,004 Greenwich Village. 46 00:06:38,016 --> 00:06:40,041 Rockefeller Center. 47 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:56,037 I'm an artist, and an artist without freedom is a bird without wings. 48 00:06:56,045 --> 00:06:58,025 Watch where you drive, artist. 49 00:06:58,045 --> 00:07:00,066 I know the same nausea is grabbing at you. 50 00:07:01,058 --> 00:07:02,079 I am content. 51 00:07:02,087 --> 00:07:08,000 Bullshit! You are a gear in a bad machine. Don't you have a soul? 52 00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:13,062 My soul is standing in line at the food store. 53 00:07:14,095 --> 00:07:17,075 Gasoline! 54 00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:48,087 Fill them up. 55 00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:56,012 See how corrupt we are. 56 00:07:56,095 --> 00:07:59,000 America is not corrupt? France? 57 00:07:59,008 --> 00:08:00,087 My soul is dying. 58 00:08:00,095 --> 00:08:02,070 My stomach is growling. 59 00:08:04,058 --> 00:08:06,041 Let's practice our English. 60 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:10,045 Let us practice. You start. 61 00:08:12,029 --> 00:08:13,091 Hello, mister. 62 00:08:16,083 --> 00:08:22,029 -Hello, mister. May I buy lamb chop? -Sure thing, mister. 63 00:08:24,012 --> 00:08:29,000 -Do you read Ernest Hemingway? -Every fucking day. 64 00:08:30,041 --> 00:08:34,008 Kiss me, beautiful. Beautiful? Beautiful. 65 00:08:34,095 --> 00:08:36,037 I love you. 66 00:08:40,016 --> 00:08:42,004 Yes, my dear clown? 67 00:08:42,008 --> 00:08:46,000 When we come to New York, I'm going to defect. 68 00:08:47,054 --> 00:08:51,020 -Why do you do this to me? -I had to tell you that. 69 00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:54,058 You know I am obliged to report you to the authorities. 70 00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:58,000 I want a Mercedes-Benz. I want to piss in the wind. 71 00:09:00,004 --> 00:09:02,016 I want to see Rio de Janeiro! 72 00:09:04,050 --> 00:09:08,041 I want to see London! I want to see Paris! 73 00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:10,029 Stop it. 74 00:09:11,029 --> 00:09:13,075 Taxi, take me out of here! 75 00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:29,012 I could be KGB. 76 00:09:29,079 --> 00:09:31,075 Then my ass is already frozen. 77 00:09:33,058 --> 00:09:36,087 Please. Be careful, my friend. 78 00:09:39,075 --> 00:09:41,029 I hate my life. 79 00:10:29,050 --> 00:10:31,012 Tonight at 9:00, as usual? 80 00:10:31,087 --> 00:10:33,037 Yes, see you. 81 00:10:37,045 --> 00:10:38,091 Toilet paper? 82 00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:42,033 Toilet paper or chickens, I'm not sure. 83 00:10:44,045 --> 00:10:45,095 Toilet paper? 84 00:10:46,033 --> 00:10:47,066 Top quality. 85 00:10:47,083 --> 00:10:49,008 Thank you. 86 00:11:16,033 --> 00:11:20,016 Leonid? You're back. 87 00:11:20,050 --> 00:11:22,025 How is your music? 88 00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:26,045 I still play for tigers and bears. And you? Are you teaching? 89 00:11:26,054 --> 00:11:29,045 No. I have a newjob. I pave streets. 90 00:11:29,070 --> 00:11:31,095 I protested Afghanistan-- 91 00:11:32,004 --> 00:11:33,029 I know. I heard. 92 00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:36,058 They said I was crazy, so they sent me to a mental hospital. 93 00:11:38,029 --> 00:11:42,066 Were you crazy? 94 00:11:42,075 --> 00:11:46,029 If I was really crazy, how would I know it? 95 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,058 We shall talk, Leonid. 96 00:11:51,041 --> 00:11:55,020 Don't ever go crazy if you can help it. 97 00:11:56,079 --> 00:12:00,000 You! Don't try to break in the line! 98 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:42,066 You found it! Congratulations, Vladimir. 99 00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:54,041 Why does everyone in this family make such a fuss over toilet paper? 100 00:12:56,050 --> 00:13:01,083 Eating and going to the bathroom are the secrets of happiness. 101 00:13:06,062 --> 00:13:08,070 I've made some borsch, Vladimir. 102 00:13:09,050 --> 00:13:12,025 I can't. I'm meeting Svetlana. 103 00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:15,079 If you married her, you'd get an apartment of your own. 104 00:13:16,066 --> 00:13:18,066 I'm not ready for another marriage. 105 00:13:18,095 --> 00:13:20,050 I like Svetlana. 106 00:13:20,083 --> 00:13:22,079 Is she the one with the big tits ? 107 00:13:22,087 --> 00:13:25,029 You should have been a poet, Grandfather. 108 00:13:25,066 --> 00:13:28,029 Oh, I almost forgot! Pickled mushrooms. 109 00:13:34,091 --> 00:13:38,025 It would make me happy to be a grandmother, Vladimir. 110 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:41,066 Look at those black people. What a mess. 111 00:13:49,012 --> 00:13:53,020 Beautiful people and great musicians. 112 00:14:06,091 --> 00:14:08,070 Do you know Duke Ellington? 113 00:14:14,012 --> 00:14:18,054 There's a great tune: Take the 'A' Train. 114 00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:57,079 Now we'll be arrested for sure. 115 00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:06,091 Before we marry, you should join the Party. It would help us get a good apartment. 116 00:15:11,058 --> 00:15:13,054 You know I'm not a joiner. 117 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:17,087 It's a bit humiliating, always borrowing Anatoly's place. 118 00:15:19,020 --> 00:15:20,095 That's what friends are for. 119 00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,095 Get away, you snoop. 120 00:15:49,025 --> 00:15:51,041 I am going to report you to the police. 121 00:15:57,079 --> 00:16:01,095 -May I kiss your lamb chops, beautiful? -Okay, mister. 122 00:16:17,083 --> 00:16:19,037 I have something for you. 123 00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:27,087 You certainly know how to get to a girl's heart. 124 00:16:27,095 --> 00:16:32,075 It's for your soft, rosy bottom, not your heart. 125 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,000 Will you miss me in America? 126 00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,083 Yes. 127 00:16:54,075 --> 00:16:57,025 You know, I am jealous of you. 128 00:16:57,087 --> 00:16:59,091 Why? 129 00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:02,087 I wish I could see America. 130 00:17:04,045 --> 00:17:06,008 Yes, I am lucky. 131 00:17:06,054 --> 00:17:09,062 I'd like to see it with my own eyes... 132 00:17:10,041 --> 00:17:12,041 ...the decadence... 133 00:17:12,095 --> 00:17:15,070 ...the crime, the poverty.... 134 00:17:22,045 --> 00:17:24,054 The inflation. 135 00:17:32,041 --> 00:17:35,041 You know what I would like from America? 136 00:17:37,075 --> 00:17:39,070 Blue jeans, my darling. 137 00:17:40,041 --> 00:17:42,004 Jordache. 138 00:17:43,045 --> 00:17:46,025 Sergio Valente.... 139 00:17:52,025 --> 00:17:55,091 And anything from Calvin Klein. 140 00:18:14,025 --> 00:18:16,020 Too much vodka. 141 00:18:26,004 --> 00:18:28,004 Hush, my Don Juan, hush. 142 00:18:34,045 --> 00:18:39,075 There are whores in Gorky Park who have carved my name on trees. 143 00:18:49,054 --> 00:18:52,000 Horseshit! You smiling bastards. 144 00:18:52,079 --> 00:18:54,075 Good morning, Grandfather. 145 00:18:54,079 --> 00:18:56,033 Good morning, Vladimir. 146 00:18:58,075 --> 00:19:03,016 Next they'll tell us the crops are good this year. 147 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,079 The agricultural news is excellent this morning. 148 00:19:11,054 --> 00:19:15,025 Lies, tell us more lies. 149 00:19:15,037 --> 00:19:17,050 You shouldn't talk that way, Father. 150 00:19:17,054 --> 00:19:19,058 You have no respect for position. 151 00:19:21,012 --> 00:19:24,016 Let them come and arrest me. 152 00:19:26,012 --> 00:19:31,054 Let them take me away like Leonid, the neighbour's boy. 153 00:19:34,045 --> 00:19:38,037 Leonid is stupid. He sympathised with the Afghans. 154 00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:41,016 Trotsky was right. 155 00:19:41,025 --> 00:19:45,037 They have dumped shit on the revolution from head to toe. 156 00:19:45,066 --> 00:19:48,025 You'll land us all in prison. 157 00:19:48,045 --> 00:19:52,012 They're not looking for you. You're not a dissident. 158 00:19:52,037 --> 00:19:56,004 You're not Sakharov or Shcharansky. 159 00:19:56,066 --> 00:20:01,050 Our leaders are only good for parades. 160 00:20:09,095 --> 00:20:12,079 And they don't have any balls. 161 00:20:13,058 --> 00:20:15,062 I've never seen the balls of our leaders. 162 00:20:16,075 --> 00:20:19,012 Oh, you'll see them. In the next revolution. 163 00:20:19,050 --> 00:20:24,058 They'll hang the balls of our leaders on the walls of a museum. 164 00:20:35,058 --> 00:20:37,066 Good morning, Vladimir lvanoff. 165 00:20:37,079 --> 00:20:39,012 I have done nothing. 166 00:20:39,016 --> 00:20:40,095 Perhaps. 167 00:20:50,029 --> 00:20:52,020 Nicholai lvanoff is your grandfather? 168 00:20:52,029 --> 00:20:53,020 Of course. 169 00:20:53,033 --> 00:20:57,066 Your neighbours say he yells anti-Soviet slogans out of the window. 170 00:20:57,075 --> 00:20:58,079 He's an old man. 171 00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:02,062 Makes rude gestures at people doing their socialist duties. 172 00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:05,050 He is a comedian. He likes mischief. 173 00:21:05,058 --> 00:21:10,079 Perhaps he is senile and should go to a mental hospital. 174 00:21:12,025 --> 00:21:14,083 He is a war hero. 175 00:21:15,020 --> 00:21:17,079 Please, I will talk to him. 176 00:21:18,033 --> 00:21:20,087 It might be wiser for you not to use the apartment... 177 00:21:20,091 --> 00:21:24,025 ...of your friend, Anatoly Cherkasov, for your sexual encounters. 178 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,062 I have done nothing wrong. 179 00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:28,000 Good. It might go well for your grandfather... 180 00:21:28,004 --> 00:21:30,004 ...if you kept your eyes on Cherkasov. 181 00:21:30,050 --> 00:21:31,070 He is only a clown. 182 00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:36,058 Yes, but perhaps he wants to clown his way out of the Soviet Union. 183 00:21:46,004 --> 00:21:48,000 Goodbye, Vladimir lvanoff. 184 00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:51,075 Also, those fucking shoes are killing me. 185 00:25:43,062 --> 00:25:47,008 Vladimir, one day I'll perform on Broadway. 186 00:25:47,016 --> 00:25:48,087 It will be a big sign: 187 00:25:49,020 --> 00:25:52,025 "Anatoly Cherkasov and Barbara Streisand." 188 00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:54,045 America is magnificent. 189 00:25:56,037 --> 00:25:59,037 They say it is customary to take towels. 190 00:26:00,070 --> 00:26:05,058 Look, a giant prophylactic. It fits me. 191 00:26:05,066 --> 00:26:09,004 Please speak English. You promised. I must practice. 192 00:26:09,020 --> 00:26:12,095 -Okay, mister. -Thank you very much. 193 00:26:17,033 --> 00:26:21,066 This television is a piece of crap, just like in Russia. 194 00:26:23,050 --> 00:26:26,054 My father will love this. 195 00:26:28,008 --> 00:26:30,041 It must be smooth like velvet. 196 00:26:31,087 --> 00:26:35,016 Stop thinking of your ass and think about your soul. 197 00:26:35,025 --> 00:26:39,083 Don't play game with me, okay, pal? 198 00:26:41,041 --> 00:26:45,054 Do you want to know why I am lucky to share room with you, polodurak? 199 00:26:47,033 --> 00:26:51,070 Because they want me to spy on you. 200 00:26:53,058 --> 00:26:55,016 I shit on them! 201 00:27:07,004 --> 00:27:10,033 Maybe this decadence attempt to lure us. 202 00:27:12,033 --> 00:27:14,000 Then they have succeeded. 203 00:27:16,050 --> 00:27:19,012 -What a country. -What a country. 204 00:27:52,058 --> 00:27:55,016 I really do want to go to Leningrad. 205 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,083 Tell me, do you like Barbara Streisand? 206 00:27:59,054 --> 00:28:01,062 Yeah, she's wonderful. 207 00:28:15,062 --> 00:28:18,066 Waiter, I'll have a Black Russian. 208 00:28:24,095 --> 00:28:28,083 -Is something the matter? -No, I am happy here be. 209 00:28:30,033 --> 00:28:33,095 -Your English is excellent. -So is your. 210 00:28:35,054 --> 00:28:39,079 Veronica Cohen. I teach Marxism at Columbia University. 211 00:28:40,037 --> 00:28:43,041 Vladimir lvanoff. I am musician with circus. 212 00:28:43,050 --> 00:28:44,087 Yes, I know. 213 00:28:48,070 --> 00:28:50,075 You don't look like a Marxist. 214 00:28:50,079 --> 00:28:55,041 I'm not. I'm a humanist. What does a Marxist look like? 215 00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:58,050 Usually has beard, moustache. 216 00:28:58,054 --> 00:29:01,020 -The women, too? -In Russia, especially women. 217 00:29:04,016 --> 00:29:08,075 Excuse me. I am happy to talk to you, but I must now to make toilet. 218 00:29:17,033 --> 00:29:21,004 What about your president? 219 00:29:21,012 --> 00:29:23,083 He was an actor before, just like us. 220 00:29:24,033 --> 00:29:26,075 What about credibility with him? 221 00:29:28,004 --> 00:29:30,000 I know what I will do. 222 00:29:30,008 --> 00:29:34,095 Tomorrow, during the opening parade, in my bicycle routine, I'll do it. 223 00:29:35,070 --> 00:29:39,012 -I will defect. -Good. They throw you right to bear. 224 00:29:42,016 --> 00:29:43,079 Tomorrow is the day. 225 00:29:45,087 --> 00:29:47,070 Think of your family. 226 00:29:56,083 --> 00:30:00,012 Would you like to watch me take a piss, comrades? 227 00:30:14,029 --> 00:30:16,058 Soon we'll be back in Moscow. 228 00:31:55,054 --> 00:31:59,066 Ladies and gentlemen, good day. 229 00:32:34,020 --> 00:32:37,033 I hope it ain't as bad as when we had them Chinese acrobats. 230 00:32:37,045 --> 00:32:41,016 Them ltalians came one time and stole half the store. 231 00:32:41,037 --> 00:32:43,087 They weren't ltalians, they were Romanians. 232 00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:46,045 I thought they said they was from Rome. 233 00:32:48,070 --> 00:32:50,050 See the game last night? 234 00:32:50,058 --> 00:32:54,062 Yeah, Magic Johnson was the best guard I ever saw. 235 00:32:55,008 --> 00:32:56,095 What a pair of hands. 236 00:32:59,020 --> 00:33:02,079 Buon giorno, Lucia, darling. What a piece of lasagne. 237 00:33:06,004 --> 00:33:10,004 You have only 30 minutes to shop in Bloomingdale's. 238 00:33:12,033 --> 00:33:15,079 Then we go to the airport. 239 00:34:15,054 --> 00:34:17,020 My God! 240 00:34:17,045 --> 00:34:19,083 What decadence! 241 00:34:44,016 --> 00:34:45,054 Excuse me. 242 00:34:46,058 --> 00:34:48,041 You must be Russian. 243 00:34:48,066 --> 00:34:52,033 Yes, I am with the circus. 244 00:34:53,025 --> 00:34:55,029 We heard you guys were coming today. 245 00:34:55,037 --> 00:34:56,083 Let me tell you something. 246 00:34:57,008 --> 00:35:00,025 I wish for peace among all nations. 247 00:35:01,020 --> 00:35:03,041 I am looking for blue jeans. 248 00:35:04,037 --> 00:35:08,041 We had a nuclear freeze demonstration this year, and I marched. 249 00:35:08,070 --> 00:35:11,054 "Make love, not war," we say. 250 00:35:12,008 --> 00:35:15,075 Make love, for sure. 251 00:35:16,041 --> 00:35:18,029 I look for blue jeans. 252 00:35:19,012 --> 00:35:21,075 Blue jeans, right. Designer jeans? 253 00:35:24,004 --> 00:35:26,050 Jordache, Calvin Klein? 254 00:35:29,041 --> 00:35:34,016 You go straight back to menswear, like where that pole is. 255 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,000 I am Russian, not Pole. 256 00:35:38,008 --> 00:35:39,062 Yeah, I know. 257 00:35:41,025 --> 00:35:44,075 Well, anyway, you go straight, okay? 258 00:35:45,058 --> 00:35:47,016 Then you take a left. 259 00:35:47,025 --> 00:35:49,037 You can't miss the Denim Den. 260 00:35:50,008 --> 00:35:52,020 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 261 00:35:52,075 --> 00:35:55,025 I hope you have a nice stay in New York. 262 00:35:55,033 --> 00:35:57,083 I go back to Moscow today. 263 00:36:00,020 --> 00:36:01,066 Well, goodbye. 264 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:38,070 I will do it here. 265 00:36:40,016 --> 00:36:41,095 Everyone watches here. 266 00:36:42,004 --> 00:36:43,091 I don't give a shit. 267 00:36:44,004 --> 00:36:46,045 I swear, I'll do it. 268 00:36:46,062 --> 00:36:49,016 Do it! Go. Do! 269 00:36:49,075 --> 00:36:52,025 Leave me alone. Go, do it. 270 00:36:55,079 --> 00:36:57,045 Three items to a dressing room. 271 00:36:57,050 --> 00:36:59,095 Gentlemen, please button your flies. 272 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,004 What are you doing? No women in the dressing room! 273 00:37:03,012 --> 00:37:06,000 Women don't belong in the dressing room! 274 00:37:07,083 --> 00:37:10,025 They don't stay in the dressing rooms! 275 00:37:10,070 --> 00:37:13,075 They can't be here. What do you mean-- 276 00:37:13,083 --> 00:37:15,083 I don't understand. 277 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,058 You're in America, speak English. 278 00:37:20,012 --> 00:37:22,037 Are you feeling well, Anatoly? 279 00:37:22,045 --> 00:37:24,050 You are pale and sweating. 280 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:28,025 It's nothing. Just a slight cold. 281 00:37:28,066 --> 00:37:30,087 You know, different climate. 282 00:37:37,037 --> 00:37:41,050 Soon you will be back in Moscow, where the air is always clear. 283 00:38:12,091 --> 00:38:15,000 -I can't do it. -Good. 284 00:38:16,095 --> 00:38:19,004 I am a bird without wings. 285 00:38:37,029 --> 00:38:39,016 I'm sorry, my friend. 286 00:38:49,041 --> 00:38:50,087 What are you guys doing? 287 00:38:50,095 --> 00:38:54,033 Only one customer to a cubicle. This ain't Russia. 288 00:38:55,066 --> 00:38:57,025 Excuse me, sir. 289 00:39:00,066 --> 00:39:02,037 Fags everywhere. 290 00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:08,020 -Your wife will love Forbidden Fruit. -Thank you. 291 00:39:09,091 --> 00:39:12,091 Time to go. Put Cherkasov and the others on the bus. 292 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,062 I would like to see some Forbidden Fruit. 293 00:39:20,070 --> 00:39:23,045 Great. All right, I'll see you tonight. 294 00:39:24,066 --> 00:39:26,037 Talk to you later. 295 00:39:30,025 --> 00:39:32,012 Fabulous choice, sir. 296 00:39:53,045 --> 00:39:55,041 Are you all right, sir? 297 00:39:55,091 --> 00:39:58,050 Excuse me, sir. Are you all right? 298 00:39:59,083 --> 00:40:01,004 Yes. 299 00:40:02,037 --> 00:40:06,004 I suddenly feel dizzy. 300 00:40:07,008 --> 00:40:09,008 Let's get you some H2O. 301 00:40:16,075 --> 00:40:20,025 -I got a dizzy Russian on my hands. -Take him home for supper. 302 00:40:20,045 --> 00:40:24,037 -Is there a large gay community in Russia? -How would I know? I'm not Russian. 303 00:40:34,050 --> 00:40:37,058 The men's room is downstairs, to the left of the escalator. 304 00:40:37,066 --> 00:40:39,020 This ain't no health club. 305 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,000 -I defect. -Say what? 306 00:40:48,050 --> 00:40:52,079 Don't be grabbing on the uniform. I have to supply the threads myself. 307 00:40:53,058 --> 00:40:54,079 I defected. 308 00:40:54,087 --> 00:40:58,033 You're not gonna do that here. I told you where the men's room was. 309 00:40:58,050 --> 00:41:00,029 Maybe I better take him. 310 00:41:00,037 --> 00:41:01,083 I am Russian. 311 00:41:02,016 --> 00:41:05,004 -I defect. -You're about ready to get maced. 312 00:41:05,033 --> 00:41:08,020 Oh, my God! Don't you get it? He's defecting! 313 00:41:22,008 --> 00:41:26,033 Code 2. We got a defection going on. Style Boutique. Officer 14 on the scene. 314 00:41:26,037 --> 00:41:27,079 Call the damn police! 315 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,066 You son of a bitch! 316 00:42:29,008 --> 00:42:31,062 Please, help me. 317 00:42:33,020 --> 00:42:38,004 -Are you the one defecting? -Yes, I in danger, KGB. Please. 318 00:42:38,075 --> 00:42:40,054 I think it's safe. 319 00:42:40,075 --> 00:42:43,070 I know the Russian is behind the counter. Give him my card. 320 00:42:43,083 --> 00:42:47,075 My name is Orlando Ramirez. I'm a lawyer. I specialise in immigration. 321 00:42:49,016 --> 00:42:50,054 You've got a lawyer. 322 00:42:51,016 --> 00:42:52,083 Thank you. 323 00:42:54,079 --> 00:42:57,083 Are you enjoying yourself? 324 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:01,033 Excuse me. 325 00:43:23,095 --> 00:43:27,020 Get up. Stay here. Stay right here. 326 00:43:27,041 --> 00:43:29,008 This is Officer 14. 327 00:43:29,016 --> 00:43:32,025 The defector is between Estee Lauder and Pierre Cardin. 328 00:43:32,037 --> 00:43:35,058 Officer, you must help me. I want political asylum. 329 00:43:35,062 --> 00:43:40,025 -I am a security officer, not a policeman. -They will send me to a mental hospital. 330 00:43:40,054 --> 00:43:43,045 -Who are these dudes? -KGB. They will kill me. 331 00:43:43,058 --> 00:43:46,025 -We are Soviet officials. -Keep your hands off the man. 332 00:43:46,029 --> 00:43:49,075 -Don't threaten me! -I got Mace and handcuffs. 333 00:43:49,087 --> 00:43:54,020 If that don't dissuade you, I got a 6-inch razor that will end this talk. 334 00:43:54,062 --> 00:43:57,025 Stay put until the authorities get here. 335 00:43:57,054 --> 00:43:58,079 Call the embassy! 336 00:43:58,087 --> 00:44:01,045 I want to keep my comrade from making a big mistake. 337 00:44:01,050 --> 00:44:02,066 I told you to back off! 338 00:44:02,075 --> 00:44:07,091 You're in my jurisdiction which runs from Style Boutique to Personal Fragrances. 339 00:44:07,095 --> 00:44:09,083 So keep your hands off the man! 340 00:44:10,075 --> 00:44:13,075 -What's going on here, Mr. Simpson? -I don't know. 341 00:44:13,087 --> 00:44:16,066 -Don't blame me. I was on the floor. -Who knows? 342 00:44:16,079 --> 00:44:19,050 Some Russian is running around talking about defection. 343 00:44:19,066 --> 00:44:24,037 We don't like that at Bloomingdale's, and it's up to you to keep order. 344 00:44:26,012 --> 00:44:31,037 Everybody on the bus. Everybody back on the bus. 345 00:44:32,045 --> 00:44:37,070 In the name of the Soviet Union, I protest. This Soviet citizen has been drugged. 346 00:44:37,079 --> 00:44:40,091 -I am not drugged. -He's being held against his will. 347 00:44:41,008 --> 00:44:44,095 Nobody is smoking no shit around here. I've had it with you guys today. 348 00:44:45,008 --> 00:44:46,029 Back off! 349 00:44:46,033 --> 00:44:50,091 I'm Kaity Tong at Bloomingdale's with a drama in American-Soviet relations. 350 00:44:50,095 --> 00:44:54,070 Things are chaotic here, but this is what we know so far: 351 00:44:54,087 --> 00:44:58,087 Apparently, a member of the Russian circus troupe, performing in New York... 352 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:02,033 ...has decided to defect in, of all places, Bloomie's. 353 00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:07,062 Vladimir, I trusted you. Now you do this to your family and to me. 354 00:45:07,070 --> 00:45:09,058 You know what my life will be now? 355 00:45:10,025 --> 00:45:13,045 Vladimir, have mercy. 356 00:45:16,070 --> 00:45:19,054 You are a Russian. 357 00:45:19,083 --> 00:45:23,062 Please, I will give you everything I own. 358 00:45:24,025 --> 00:45:28,016 My sweet Volodnishka, please. 359 00:45:34,012 --> 00:45:37,054 You will never see your parents or your sister. Your grandfather... 360 00:45:38,066 --> 00:45:40,058 ...never. 361 00:45:43,020 --> 00:45:44,050 I defect. 362 00:45:49,054 --> 00:45:53,016 This is New York City. A man can do whatever he wants. 363 00:45:54,083 --> 00:45:58,041 The FBI has just arrived on the scene. Gentlemen, a few questions. 364 00:45:58,050 --> 00:46:00,037 How do you plan to handle this? 365 00:46:02,079 --> 00:46:05,058 I'm Agent Ross with the Federal Bureau of lnvestigation. 366 00:46:05,066 --> 00:46:08,004 -Frank Williams, Justice. -Mr. Ivanoff, let's talk. 367 00:46:08,016 --> 00:46:11,075 Vladimir lvanoff is a defector. And this guy, I don't know who he is. 368 00:46:11,087 --> 00:46:13,050 KGB, whatever that is. 369 00:46:28,008 --> 00:46:32,050 -What exactly do you protest? -You cannot permit him to defect. 370 00:46:32,058 --> 00:46:34,033 It seems he's already defected. 371 00:46:34,037 --> 00:46:38,041 Mr. Ivanoff, can you tell us why you're defecting? 372 00:46:39,004 --> 00:46:41,091 -Freedom. -Political freedom or artistic? 373 00:46:42,008 --> 00:46:43,033 Freedom. 374 00:46:45,025 --> 00:46:49,033 For now, consider yourself an applicant for political asylum in the U.S. 375 00:46:49,045 --> 00:46:51,083 That's a matter for lmmigration. 376 00:46:54,029 --> 00:46:58,008 -You can still come home. -I defect. 377 00:47:00,062 --> 00:47:01,083 Let us pass. 378 00:47:01,091 --> 00:47:02,095 Excuse us. 379 00:47:03,066 --> 00:47:05,066 This means Siberia, for sure. 380 00:47:05,087 --> 00:47:09,050 Do you have any family or friends in the United States? 381 00:47:13,012 --> 00:47:16,037 Sir, it's $147.50 for the robe... 382 00:47:16,066 --> 00:47:18,070 ...and $30 for the windbreaker. 383 00:47:22,050 --> 00:47:23,045 Bitch. 384 00:47:25,004 --> 00:47:27,004 Do you know anyone here, sir? 385 00:47:27,016 --> 00:47:32,045 Only you. And this good black man and shopping girl. 386 00:47:32,075 --> 00:47:36,004 -Where is he going to stay? -He can stay with me if he wants. 387 00:47:37,008 --> 00:47:39,000 I can stay your home? 388 00:47:39,066 --> 00:47:42,000 I'm Security Officer Witherspoon. 389 00:47:42,016 --> 00:47:45,079 I understand how the brother feels. I'm a refugee myself, from Alabama. 390 00:47:57,091 --> 00:48:00,000 -Hold it! -Wait a minute! 391 00:48:05,091 --> 00:48:07,091 Tolya, I did it. 392 00:48:08,041 --> 00:48:11,087 I'm free like a bird. 393 00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:41,066 What are you saying? 394 00:48:45,091 --> 00:48:49,012 I say goodbye to my saxophone. 395 00:48:49,058 --> 00:48:50,070 Say what? 396 00:48:50,087 --> 00:48:55,050 Mr. Ivanoff, did I hear you say goodbye to your saxophone? 397 00:48:58,037 --> 00:49:01,020 He left his saxophone on the bus, I think. 398 00:49:01,070 --> 00:49:06,000 Also, you waved goodbye to your friends. You are very sad, obviously. 399 00:49:06,004 --> 00:49:07,095 No, I am happy. 400 00:49:08,004 --> 00:49:10,045 It is so nice to be here. 401 00:49:10,062 --> 00:49:12,041 Yeah, he's going to stay here. 402 00:49:12,050 --> 00:49:16,004 Thank you. This is Kaity Tong. 403 00:49:30,045 --> 00:49:33,029 I think he knows you are a foreigner. He's jiving on you. 404 00:49:33,037 --> 00:49:36,070 You got to learn to look mean. You understand what I'm saying? 405 00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:38,033 Mean. 406 00:49:39,016 --> 00:49:41,041 Is that your mean look? 407 00:49:41,070 --> 00:49:44,087 Look crazy. Like this. 408 00:49:48,012 --> 00:49:49,033 Crazy. 409 00:49:56,037 --> 00:49:58,012 Crazy motherfucker. 410 00:50:09,004 --> 00:50:13,087 Many different people here, but not many white people. 411 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:18,029 This is what is known as a ghetto, with a capital "G." 412 00:50:20,079 --> 00:50:25,058 I like it. It is nice. And the music, it's so free. 413 00:50:27,004 --> 00:50:29,095 -Must be pretty bad in Russia. -It's not human. 414 00:50:30,004 --> 00:50:33,083 -But there are many beautiful people. -Sounds like Alabama. 415 00:50:34,012 --> 00:50:36,000 I read about slavery. 416 00:50:36,041 --> 00:50:40,020 -With slavery, the work was steady. -Sounds like Russia. 417 00:50:42,075 --> 00:50:44,025 I make joke. 418 00:50:45,058 --> 00:50:49,045 I feel to make joke in other language is good. 419 00:50:53,016 --> 00:50:57,037 ...a member of the Russian circus troupe, performing in New York, has decided... 420 00:50:57,045 --> 00:50:59,066 ...to defect in, of all places, Bloomie's. 421 00:51:01,075 --> 00:51:05,041 -Get in here. You're on TV. -You look handsome. 422 00:51:10,091 --> 00:51:13,058 You look good, Vladimir. Now you go running out the store. 423 00:51:13,075 --> 00:51:15,083 We can see it again on the 1 1 :00 news. 424 00:51:15,091 --> 00:51:17,091 Mama, this is Vladimir. 425 00:51:18,033 --> 00:51:22,008 This is my stepfather, Fletcher. My bucket-head sister, Leanne. 426 00:51:22,041 --> 00:51:25,008 My grandfather. You have to watch out for his ass. 427 00:51:25,029 --> 00:51:29,070 -I never met a Russian. They all white? -You defected. 428 00:51:30,045 --> 00:51:34,058 Yes. You are kind to share your home with me. 429 00:51:34,087 --> 00:51:38,062 Hope you didn't come for a job. I haven't had one for eight years. 430 00:51:38,075 --> 00:51:40,012 Welcome to the U.S.A. 431 00:51:41,062 --> 00:51:46,037 Honey, you don't look so well. Let's sit him down. You look peaky. 432 00:51:47,041 --> 00:51:51,004 You can just lay down right here. Lionel, get his feet up, honey. 433 00:51:55,004 --> 00:51:58,033 Lionel, man in store give me card. 434 00:52:01,012 --> 00:52:05,004 "Orlando Ramirez." Sounds like a Cuban ambulance chaser to me. 435 00:52:05,016 --> 00:52:07,058 Get his fucking feet off my couch. 436 00:52:07,062 --> 00:52:08,095 Hush, Grandpa! 437 00:52:14,070 --> 00:52:17,083 Good night, my American family. 438 00:52:28,025 --> 00:52:31,037 I'm going to help you with everything. Everything. Always. 439 00:52:31,050 --> 00:52:35,033 It is very important to know that you have a friend in Orlando Ramirez. 440 00:52:35,075 --> 00:52:38,041 -Thank you. -You don't have to thank me. 441 00:52:38,045 --> 00:52:41,091 You have to pay me. That's the way capitalism works. 442 00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:43,083 One hand helps the other. 443 00:52:43,087 --> 00:52:47,054 I have $120 and one pair of blue jeans. 444 00:52:47,091 --> 00:52:51,058 My fee for helping you with immigration matters is cut and dry. 445 00:52:52,087 --> 00:52:54,087 -May I call you Vladimir? -Of course. 446 00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,087 Orlando. That is a musical name. 447 00:52:59,058 --> 00:53:01,087 My father was called Orlando. 448 00:53:02,037 --> 00:53:05,016 He rolled the finest cigars in Havana. 449 00:53:05,041 --> 00:53:07,083 Orlando "el Rey," they called him. 450 00:53:08,012 --> 00:53:09,087 Orlando "the King." 451 00:53:10,070 --> 00:53:13,029 Then Castro came along and my father was on his ass. 452 00:53:13,075 --> 00:53:15,066 Castro is a great man. 453 00:53:16,095 --> 00:53:21,016 He's a bullshit artist who has been taken in by Russian bullshit artists. 454 00:53:21,062 --> 00:53:23,033 I'm not political. 455 00:53:24,020 --> 00:53:27,025 -We had to get our asses out of Cuba. -Defect? 456 00:53:27,045 --> 00:53:28,050 No. 457 00:53:29,029 --> 00:53:32,037 We took a life raft to Miami Beach, Florida. 458 00:53:32,045 --> 00:53:35,016 The only way to fly, let me tell you. 459 00:53:35,075 --> 00:53:38,062 It was almost 20 years ago. 460 00:53:49,058 --> 00:53:53,075 -I told you about eggs and onions. -I want to go shopping later. 461 00:53:54,020 --> 00:53:57,091 -I want to get something for the kids. -We don't have any kids. 462 00:53:58,004 --> 00:54:01,029 Jack's kids. He wants some scuba gear for the kids. 463 00:54:02,066 --> 00:54:05,095 Some vacation. They said this place was sunny. This isn't sun. 464 00:54:06,020 --> 00:54:10,012 You get better sun on our roof. We're not wasting $10 on that lotion. 465 00:54:11,075 --> 00:54:13,004 There's the boy. 466 00:54:13,012 --> 00:54:16,054 Ask him for a couple of rum and Cokes and beach towels. 467 00:54:17,050 --> 00:54:20,095 Give me two Cuba Libres and a couple of beach towels. 468 00:54:22,050 --> 00:54:24,079 Here, come on, make it snappy. 469 00:54:26,008 --> 00:54:28,041 Talking to them is like talking to a wall. 470 00:54:30,050 --> 00:54:32,016 Well, here I am. 471 00:54:32,095 --> 00:54:36,095 It hasn't been easy, but you can do anything in this country. 472 00:54:38,066 --> 00:54:39,095 Where are you going? 473 00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,058 You passed Chambers Street twice already. 474 00:54:43,054 --> 00:54:48,020 Sorry, sir. I think Chambers Street here, but Chambers is over there. 475 00:54:48,079 --> 00:54:52,016 Drive a cab in Korea if you don't know one street from the other. 476 00:54:56,058 --> 00:54:59,062 Mr. Ivanoff, this is only stage one. 477 00:54:59,087 --> 00:55:03,062 You will be interviewed again to determine your status. 478 00:55:03,070 --> 00:55:05,075 Until then, you'll need a work permit. 479 00:55:05,083 --> 00:55:08,066 Make sure the man understands all of this, Mr. R. 480 00:55:08,075 --> 00:55:11,075 I understand. When for next interview? 481 00:55:11,079 --> 00:55:15,041 In one month, we'll give an advisory opinion if asylum should be granted. 482 00:55:15,045 --> 00:55:16,079 Don't worry, you'll get it. 483 00:55:16,091 --> 00:55:21,012 -In a year, you can petition for citizenship. -I must wait for one year? 484 00:55:21,020 --> 00:55:24,000 Do you know how many people want to get in this country? 485 00:55:24,008 --> 00:55:27,045 Vietnamese, Korean, Salvadorians. 486 00:55:27,066 --> 00:55:31,045 Those lranians, Mexicans, Bolivians, Greeks, Turks. 487 00:55:31,058 --> 00:55:33,041 Have mercy. So many people. 488 00:55:33,054 --> 00:55:36,066 I have mercy, but I can't carry the work home. 489 00:55:36,079 --> 00:55:41,037 I'm like a TV set. Turn me on at 8:00, turn me off at 4:00. 490 00:55:41,050 --> 00:55:44,045 I have been waiting two hours. Who is your boss? 491 00:55:44,050 --> 00:55:47,079 His name is Ronald Reagan! Now sit the fuck down, Mr. Baktar! 492 00:55:52,075 --> 00:55:53,079 Orlando, out! 493 00:55:54,029 --> 00:55:57,050 Mr. Baktar, your impatience is wearing me down. 494 00:55:57,062 --> 00:56:00,062 I've been here two days waiting to see the lmmigration Office. 495 00:56:59,025 --> 00:57:00,095 You guys going to dance? 496 00:57:01,004 --> 00:57:02,087 No, I rest now. 497 00:57:06,037 --> 00:57:08,075 He is good boy, Lionel. 498 00:57:09,004 --> 00:57:10,029 So-so. 499 00:57:10,054 --> 00:57:14,000 No, he's nice, but don't call him "boy." 500 00:57:14,020 --> 00:57:15,025 Why not? 501 00:57:15,062 --> 00:57:20,008 Black men don't like to be called "boy." They take it as an insult. 502 00:57:24,016 --> 00:57:27,054 -That was a brave thing you did yesterday. -Thank you. 503 00:57:28,016 --> 00:57:32,012 For the first time, I act from here, not from here. 504 00:57:33,045 --> 00:57:38,020 -You are a good girl? -Yes, good girl. You're a good boy? 505 00:57:38,066 --> 00:57:40,075 I would like to know you. 506 00:57:43,095 --> 00:57:47,012 I'm ltalian. From ltaly. From the Abruzzi. 507 00:57:47,062 --> 00:57:50,016 It's a little village called Casoli. 508 00:57:50,066 --> 00:57:53,029 Everybody I meet is from somewhere else. 509 00:57:54,029 --> 00:57:55,066 It's America. 510 00:57:58,083 --> 00:58:00,095 -Would you like to dance? -Okay. 511 00:58:01,095 --> 00:58:03,029 Come on. 512 00:58:12,037 --> 00:58:14,062 Why you came America? 513 00:58:16,008 --> 00:58:20,095 When my father died six years ago, he left us seven children. 514 00:58:21,095 --> 00:58:25,070 We were so poor. There wasn't much opportunity for a girl. 515 00:58:25,083 --> 00:58:28,012 Or for a boy, for that matter. 516 00:58:28,025 --> 00:58:31,016 So, I guess I was the lucky one. 517 00:58:32,045 --> 00:58:35,037 I have an Uncle Sal who lives here. 518 00:58:35,075 --> 00:58:37,050 He has a funeral parlour. 519 00:58:39,054 --> 00:58:42,079 -He sponsored me. -You speak very well. 520 00:58:42,095 --> 00:58:45,075 In a few months, I will become a citizen. 521 00:58:46,054 --> 00:58:48,058 Then watch me take off. 522 00:58:49,008 --> 00:58:50,020 Take off? 523 00:58:50,091 --> 00:58:53,062 I mean, I want to work in media. 524 00:58:53,075 --> 00:58:55,058 In TV. Television. 525 00:58:56,091 --> 00:59:00,058 I love sportscasting. Or newscasting. 526 00:59:01,070 --> 00:59:05,029 Remember yesterday, this girl Kaity Tong? 527 00:59:05,041 --> 00:59:09,008 At Bloomingdale's. You know, the girl? 528 00:59:09,041 --> 00:59:12,058 I think she's great. She's fantastic. 529 00:59:25,016 --> 00:59:27,070 -I am be followed. -Where? 530 00:59:36,058 --> 00:59:37,070 That man. 531 00:59:37,083 --> 00:59:39,095 That's the FBl. 532 00:59:40,004 --> 00:59:43,020 They watch you for a few weeks, make sure you're not a spy. 533 00:59:44,054 --> 00:59:49,000 Also to keep the KGB from kidnapping you, for your own protection. Relax, amigo. 534 00:59:53,041 --> 00:59:58,045 -Is that a new dance from Russia? -Excuse me for my rudeness. 535 01:00:03,029 --> 01:00:06,058 -Thank you for protection. -That's what we're here for. 536 01:00:06,083 --> 01:00:09,000 Have a good time. 537 01:00:19,016 --> 01:00:22,070 All this week we've been working on the stomach. Here's part three. 538 01:00:22,079 --> 01:00:26,050 Time to work on the stomach again. We'll begin with abdominal warm-ups. 539 01:00:26,062 --> 01:00:30,070 Remember how to do this one? You inhale and keep it nice and firm. 540 01:00:30,083 --> 01:00:32,091 First we do lower back-drops. 541 01:00:33,054 --> 01:00:37,025 -Good morning, Vlad. How you doing? -Good. I feel fine. 542 01:00:37,029 --> 01:00:39,050 I wish to be useful. 543 01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:41,091 How may I help you? 544 01:00:42,004 --> 01:00:43,045 You can do the shopping. 545 01:00:43,054 --> 01:00:46,054 I have an appointment at the Human Resources Administration. 546 01:00:46,062 --> 01:00:49,066 -The unemployment office. -Lucia has something going for you. 547 01:00:49,075 --> 01:00:51,079 She's got an ass on her. 548 01:00:52,008 --> 01:00:54,095 I like, last night, musicians much. 549 01:00:55,020 --> 01:00:57,008 Excellent saxophones. 550 01:00:57,087 --> 01:00:59,095 You ever hear of the "Bird"? 551 01:01:00,020 --> 01:01:03,033 -The great Charlie Parker? -He was a wailing ass. 552 01:01:03,045 --> 01:01:04,083 That boy could blow. 553 01:01:05,025 --> 01:01:10,020 Excuse me, Grandpa, why you call Charlie Parker "boy"? 554 01:01:10,079 --> 01:01:13,041 What should I call him? "Rhinoceros"? 555 01:01:14,025 --> 01:01:17,033 -How's the coffee coming? -We're out of coffee. 556 01:01:17,037 --> 01:01:21,070 -We'd have coffee if you'd get off your butt. -Don't talk to me like that. 557 01:01:22,008 --> 01:01:26,041 -I'll work when I can find something. -You could've delivered telephone books. 558 01:01:26,050 --> 01:01:30,037 Bullshit! Deliver books! I got a college education. 559 01:01:30,045 --> 01:01:35,004 We know you got a college education. You told us a million times! 560 01:01:36,062 --> 01:01:39,045 You're just like your mother. Just like your mother. 561 01:01:40,012 --> 01:01:43,091 Leave my mother out of this. She's more of a man than you'll ever be. 562 01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:47,070 I go shopping. I must to pay. Please. 563 01:02:05,008 --> 01:02:06,033 Coffee? 564 01:02:06,079 --> 01:02:08,004 Aisle 2. 565 01:02:08,066 --> 01:02:12,045 -Coffee line, please? -Aisle 2. No line, though. 566 01:02:20,050 --> 01:02:22,062 "Taster's Choice... 567 01:02:22,075 --> 01:02:24,050 "...decaffeinated... 568 01:02:25,012 --> 01:02:29,016 "...Maxwell House, EI Pico... 569 01:02:29,037 --> 01:02:32,066 "...Chock Full O'Nuts, espresso... 570 01:02:32,075 --> 01:02:34,087 "...cappuccino, Cafe Francais... 571 01:02:35,029 --> 01:02:38,095 "...Sanka, Folger's... 572 01:02:39,008 --> 01:02:41,037 "...Cafe Caribe." 573 01:02:41,045 --> 01:02:44,029 Coffee. Coffee! Coffee! 574 01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:53,041 Mr. Ivanoff, don't worry. 575 01:02:54,041 --> 01:02:57,020 You're merely suffering some hyperventilation. 576 01:02:57,083 --> 01:03:01,012 Don't be alarmed. You are among friends. 577 01:03:02,008 --> 01:03:05,041 You should have seen yours truly when I first came from Bombay. 578 01:03:05,054 --> 01:03:07,062 I was very nervous. 579 01:03:07,075 --> 01:03:10,029 Look at these girls. They know, too. 580 01:03:11,062 --> 01:03:13,025 I am feeling better. 581 01:03:15,004 --> 01:03:19,075 -You're something of a celebrity. -I'm his lawyer, Orlando Ramirez. 582 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:23,008 Everybody was worried about you. 583 01:03:23,041 --> 01:03:26,054 My wife thought you'd been kidnapped by the KGB. 584 01:03:26,062 --> 01:03:28,000 I'm sorry. 585 01:03:28,087 --> 01:03:31,020 I have wonderful news for you. 586 01:03:31,083 --> 01:03:35,016 -I've made some calls to find you a job. -I take it. 587 01:03:35,033 --> 01:03:37,083 -Nothing fancy, my friend. -I take it. 588 01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:01,029 When you speak English, does your mouth hurt? 589 01:04:01,066 --> 01:04:04,016 My mouth is fine. My brain hurts. 590 01:04:04,058 --> 01:04:07,087 When I speak English, my lips and tongue hurt. 591 01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:12,029 -I wish they would stop playing this music. -I wish only to play music. 592 01:04:12,050 --> 01:04:15,000 -You'll get your chance. -So will you. 593 01:04:15,008 --> 01:04:18,079 Do you know how difficult it is to get a job in celestial mechanics... 594 01:04:18,091 --> 01:04:20,037 ...and astrophysics? 595 01:04:20,083 --> 01:04:22,087 Boy, you speak English well. 596 01:04:22,091 --> 01:04:26,008 In a couple of minutes, we will take a break. 597 01:04:26,062 --> 01:04:30,054 Maybe we pick up cheeseburger, side of fries, and Coca-Cola. 598 01:04:34,079 --> 01:04:38,083 "Dearest parents, dear Sasha, and beloved Grandfather: 599 01:04:39,091 --> 01:04:42,087 "I don't know if you'll ever receive this letter... 600 01:04:42,095 --> 01:04:45,025 "...but I will write to you every week. 601 01:04:45,087 --> 01:04:50,083 "I am sorry to cause you pain, but I acted out of real need. 602 01:04:52,020 --> 01:04:55,004 "America is strange and wonderful. 603 01:04:55,058 --> 01:04:58,033 "I live with a nice black family. 604 01:05:02,033 --> 01:05:06,041 "My Cuban lawyer helps me also to find sales job. " 605 01:05:06,050 --> 01:05:09,095 Okay, mister. Aqui, amigo. Bueno buy. 606 01:05:10,012 --> 01:05:12,079 Two for $1 .00. Okay, mister! 607 01:05:15,033 --> 01:05:19,000 "I am learning to read and write English in night school. 608 01:05:19,066 --> 01:05:23,087 "Also, I have nice ltalian girl who likes American sports. " 609 01:05:24,025 --> 01:05:27,037 Johnson at bat for the Blue Jays. Rawley sets. 610 01:05:27,075 --> 01:05:30,066 Here's the pitch. A ground ball to third! 611 01:05:30,087 --> 01:05:33,091 Nettles scoops it up, throws to Randolph. Randolph to first. 612 01:05:34,008 --> 01:05:38,004 Double play! What a play! 613 01:05:38,012 --> 01:05:41,008 I don't believe this! It's incredible. 614 01:05:42,029 --> 01:05:44,087 What does he need that Madison Avenue preppy junk for? 615 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:48,058 -This will make your feet sing. -They're very popular. 616 01:05:49,020 --> 01:05:52,041 Madison Avenue is where the money is being made. 617 01:05:52,075 --> 01:05:56,083 -People make judgment from the shoes. -What do you know? You're a foreigner. 618 01:05:58,054 --> 01:06:03,016 While your ancestors were beating drums in Africa and chasing animals barefoot... 619 01:06:03,029 --> 01:06:07,058 ...my people were giving the world Michelangelo. 620 01:06:07,066 --> 01:06:10,054 -We invented style. -You ever been to Little ltaly? 621 01:06:10,058 --> 01:06:13,083 All I see is plastic fruit and fat guys in tiny hats. 622 01:06:14,070 --> 01:06:18,091 -I like those, please. -Those? Keep looking. 623 01:06:19,033 --> 01:06:21,008 No, I take those. 624 01:06:21,079 --> 01:06:25,054 "Yesterday, I bought my first pair of American shoes. 625 01:06:26,016 --> 01:06:27,062 "They were made in ltaly. " 626 01:06:27,070 --> 01:06:29,066 Mustard? You got it. 627 01:06:30,095 --> 01:06:35,091 "Today I opened my own restaurant and I'm starting to make big bucks. 628 01:06:38,012 --> 01:06:41,079 "I miss you very much. Love, Volya. " 629 01:07:02,008 --> 01:07:05,054 The best. Excuse me. 630 01:07:31,087 --> 01:07:33,008 FBl? 631 01:07:33,016 --> 01:07:35,041 FBl? No. 632 01:07:37,079 --> 01:07:39,004 KGB? 633 01:07:40,095 --> 01:07:42,004 No. 634 01:07:44,054 --> 01:07:45,070 G-A-Y. 635 01:07:49,083 --> 01:07:51,020 Gay? 636 01:07:52,062 --> 01:07:54,075 Oh, no. No. 637 01:07:57,041 --> 01:08:01,075 Sorry. You have a nice face. I thought we had a moment back there. 638 01:08:01,091 --> 01:08:03,054 I hope it didn't upset you. 639 01:08:03,087 --> 01:08:07,058 No. It's okay, mister. Thank you. Good luck. 640 01:08:13,037 --> 01:08:17,020 "Dear Tolya: I have a new saxophone... 641 01:08:17,029 --> 01:08:20,000 "...but I still don't have work as a musician. 642 01:08:21,041 --> 01:08:23,029 "I have many otherjobs, though. " 643 01:08:23,079 --> 01:08:26,025 Two Big Macs, one Quarter Pounder with cheese... 644 01:08:26,050 --> 01:08:31,037 ...six pieces Chicken McNuggets, two boxes Ronald McDonald cookies... 645 01:08:31,050 --> 01:08:34,020 ...one order McFries, two chocolate milk shakes. 646 01:08:34,025 --> 01:08:35,050 Is that to go? 647 01:08:35,075 --> 01:08:37,054 No, I eat it here. 648 01:08:38,029 --> 01:08:40,008 Come back Mc-soon. 649 01:08:40,045 --> 01:08:42,083 "I am now driving a taxi part-time. " 650 01:08:44,029 --> 01:08:46,070 Sunday I got a date with Lucia. 651 01:08:46,079 --> 01:08:50,066 I knew it! I knew there was something going on between you and her. 652 01:08:50,079 --> 01:08:54,004 No, nothing going on. I'm still virgin in New York City. 653 01:08:55,020 --> 01:08:58,037 There ain't no crime in sex. You're too shy. 654 01:08:58,050 --> 01:09:01,012 -She digs you, man. I know she does. -You think so? 655 01:09:01,025 --> 01:09:04,037 You're probably the only man in New York without herpes. 656 01:09:04,045 --> 01:09:07,054 "I have met some members of Russian community. 657 01:09:09,004 --> 01:09:13,000 "Some of them are painters, sculptors, writers, photographers. 658 01:09:13,008 --> 01:09:16,041 "They all have made adjustments to life in America. 659 01:09:16,070 --> 01:09:21,062 "To tell you the truth, dear Tolya, they still despair, and so do l. 660 01:09:27,041 --> 01:09:31,083 "And, dear friend, I wish you joy for all your days. 661 01:09:32,083 --> 01:09:34,091 "Kiss the bears and the ponies. 662 01:09:35,033 --> 01:09:39,008 "Perhaps, some day, I will see you again. Volya. " 663 01:10:13,012 --> 01:10:14,033 I like it. 664 01:10:16,062 --> 01:10:18,029 It's very nice. 665 01:10:18,050 --> 01:10:20,033 Not much furniture. 666 01:10:21,008 --> 01:10:25,016 You bought the blender we had on sale. What do you make with it? 667 01:10:25,037 --> 01:10:27,087 Nothing. I don't blend anything. 668 01:10:30,079 --> 01:10:32,070 You miss Russia, don't you? 669 01:10:32,083 --> 01:10:35,033 Sure. Sometime. You want some vodka? 670 01:10:35,045 --> 01:10:37,029 I'd love some. 671 01:10:40,058 --> 01:10:42,083 You like music? 672 01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:46,004 I love also music. 673 01:10:47,041 --> 01:10:49,033 That's a nice tape deck. 674 01:10:49,037 --> 01:10:53,020 I buy it from friend of Lionel's from back of truck. A ghetto blaster. 675 01:10:53,050 --> 01:10:56,075 It's a good thing you found Lionel in your life. 676 01:10:57,037 --> 01:10:59,075 This tape I bring from Russia. 677 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:03,087 It is great Wild Bill Hawthorn, black saxophonist. 678 01:11:04,004 --> 01:11:06,037 I tape from Radio Free Europe. 679 01:11:08,079 --> 01:11:10,045 It's nice music. 680 01:11:31,070 --> 01:11:33,012 Would you like to dance? 681 01:11:38,016 --> 01:11:39,062 Why not? 682 01:11:50,087 --> 01:11:52,045 You miss ltaly? 683 01:11:52,075 --> 01:11:55,070 No, I don't miss ltaly at all. 684 01:11:55,087 --> 01:11:59,079 I miss my family. My brothers, my sisters. 685 01:11:59,095 --> 01:12:04,087 When I make it big, I'll bring them all here. They'll love it. 686 01:12:05,004 --> 01:12:07,091 Now, my mother's a very nice lady... 687 01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:12,075 ...but she's into that black dress for life, so she better stay there. 688 01:12:13,091 --> 01:12:16,029 When I go back to Brooklyn... 689 01:12:16,033 --> 01:12:20,070 ...and the Russian stores... 690 01:12:20,083 --> 01:12:23,025 ...the smells remind me of home. 691 01:12:23,070 --> 01:12:27,045 And I know I can't go back, but at least you can go back. 692 01:12:27,054 --> 01:12:31,083 No, I don't want to go back. I want to stay here. I'm very good here. 693 01:12:37,012 --> 01:12:38,095 You smell very good. 694 01:12:40,095 --> 01:12:42,050 It's Charlie. 695 01:12:43,008 --> 01:12:45,050 -No, it's not perfume. -Yes, it is. 696 01:12:46,012 --> 01:12:47,066 It's you. 697 01:12:50,033 --> 01:12:52,008 I really like you. 698 01:12:53,025 --> 01:12:54,054 Likewise. 699 01:12:56,000 --> 01:12:57,045 But I am.... 700 01:13:00,025 --> 01:13:02,000 -You have boyfriend? -No. 701 01:13:02,091 --> 01:13:06,095 I am a free woman. I don't like to get involved. 702 01:13:07,012 --> 01:13:08,037 Me, too. 703 01:13:09,045 --> 01:13:14,075 What I mean is that if I stay here with you tonight... 704 01:13:14,091 --> 01:13:18,079 ...l don't want you to think anything special about it. 705 01:13:20,037 --> 01:13:24,000 To exaggerate what it is. You understand? 706 01:13:24,062 --> 01:13:25,066 Yes. 707 01:13:26,004 --> 01:13:30,025 I assure you as former citizen of the Soviet Socialist Republic... 708 01:13:30,037 --> 01:13:33,004 ...l make no moral thought about sex. 709 01:13:33,025 --> 01:13:35,091 I respect your new life. 710 01:13:38,070 --> 01:13:39,075 Thanks. 711 01:13:46,050 --> 01:13:49,058 But I do desire you in a big way. 712 01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:52,033 Likewise. 713 01:14:48,004 --> 01:14:50,041 I take FDR Drive, sir, to beat the traffic. 714 01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:54,087 Whatever you say. This is my first trip to NYC. 715 01:14:55,054 --> 01:14:58,058 You relax, sir. There's Perrier in the side bar. 716 01:14:58,062 --> 01:15:02,050 TV is working. I think General Hospital is on. 717 01:15:03,008 --> 01:15:06,083 -What time is it, by the way? -12:00 in five minutes. 718 01:15:06,095 --> 01:15:10,029 I had my damn watch stolen out at the airport last night. 719 01:15:10,037 --> 01:15:12,020 Really? That's a bitch. 720 01:15:12,033 --> 01:15:15,091 Went into the washroom, took my Rollie off, set her on the basin... 721 01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:18,058 ...stepped back to shake the dew off my lily... 722 01:15:18,066 --> 01:15:21,029 ...turned around, and she was gone like that. 723 01:15:21,058 --> 01:15:24,079 -I'd like you to check this out. -What's that? 724 01:15:24,083 --> 01:15:27,000 It's a digital. It's Japanese. 725 01:15:27,012 --> 01:15:30,004 Touch gives you heartbeat and body temperature. 726 01:15:30,041 --> 01:15:35,020 -What part of Texas are you from? -The East Village, sir. Seventh Street. 727 01:15:35,025 --> 01:15:37,029 You sound further away than that. 728 01:15:37,037 --> 01:15:40,087 I have a fountain pen with an alarm clock built in. Check this out. 729 01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:44,041 You've got your hand on the bucket and you're headed toward the well. 730 01:15:44,050 --> 01:15:46,083 I also sell vitamins. Look at this. 731 01:15:46,091 --> 01:15:51,008 "True Nature." It's a six-pack of health. It's great for your sex life. 732 01:15:51,016 --> 01:15:52,079 Gives you the dick of death. 733 01:15:53,004 --> 01:15:55,091 I'd like to trade me some flat for some round. 734 01:15:55,095 --> 01:15:58,087 Pluck one of them long-stemmed American beauties. 735 01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:02,062 A little shaky pudding. But get me to my hotel on time. 736 01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:05,087 Just relax, sir. I give you great limo. 737 01:16:18,045 --> 01:16:21,045 -I liked E. T. better. -I think it was decadent. 738 01:16:21,054 --> 01:16:23,079 I think it was fun and sexy. 739 01:16:24,012 --> 01:16:27,087 It was childish. It had no point of view, no moral content. 740 01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:31,050 On the Lucia Lombardo scale of one to ten, I give it a seven. 741 01:16:31,095 --> 01:16:35,016 -You're reviewing film for the masses? -No, but it's a fantasy. 742 01:16:35,033 --> 01:16:37,016 You want fantasy, let's go to my place. 743 01:16:37,020 --> 01:16:41,033 I can't. I have to study. I have a class tomorrow. 744 01:16:41,041 --> 01:16:46,000 -All she does is go to classes. -Don't get possessive, okay? 745 01:16:46,058 --> 01:16:49,037 I think I'm going to go back in and see the movie. 746 01:16:49,045 --> 01:16:53,000 I understand your liberation, but what will you do with these classes? 747 01:16:53,008 --> 01:16:55,058 I can do anything. This is America. 748 01:16:56,016 --> 01:16:58,045 Let me know if you find something for me. 749 01:16:58,054 --> 01:17:01,070 You make a mountain out of mothballs. All I said was let's go. 750 01:17:01,075 --> 01:17:05,054 -Yeah, because you want sex. -Why not? Sex is good for you. 751 01:17:05,062 --> 01:17:07,095 I'll see you sex fiends later. 752 01:17:08,020 --> 01:17:09,075 -See you. -'Bye. 753 01:17:15,020 --> 01:17:17,004 No, just let go. 754 01:17:19,054 --> 01:17:21,025 -God. -I'm sorry. 755 01:17:22,029 --> 01:17:25,020 -You're not my boss. -You're right. 756 01:17:26,075 --> 01:17:29,091 -This can only work if we are equal. -I agree. 757 01:17:48,091 --> 01:17:53,041 If all Russians could eat Mu Shu Pork, they wouldn't be afraid of the Chinese. 758 01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:58,008 Tell me, are all the Russians as funny as you? 759 01:18:02,029 --> 01:18:06,025 You have beautiful lamb chops. Did anyone ever tell you that? 760 01:18:06,045 --> 01:18:07,050 Yes. 761 01:18:08,054 --> 01:18:10,054 You're happy all the time? 762 01:18:13,079 --> 01:18:18,012 Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I sit up and wonder where I am. 763 01:18:18,045 --> 01:18:21,000 In Russia, you do that all day long. 764 01:18:26,004 --> 01:18:28,020 You want to help me study? 765 01:18:34,025 --> 01:18:37,012 What is the date of the Declaration of lndependence? 766 01:18:37,058 --> 01:18:40,000 July 4, 1776. 767 01:18:42,087 --> 01:18:45,050 What did the Declaration of lndependence say? 768 01:18:46,004 --> 01:18:48,058 That all men are created equal... 769 01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:52,058 ...and that they are given certain rights inalienable. 770 01:18:52,079 --> 01:18:54,020 Inalienable. 771 01:18:57,000 --> 01:19:02,004 Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. 772 01:19:04,058 --> 01:19:07,066 Stop it now. Help me study. 773 01:19:09,029 --> 01:19:10,062 Be cool. 774 01:19:11,037 --> 01:19:13,054 What is the Bill of Rights? 775 01:19:14,066 --> 01:19:16,025 The Bill of Rights... 776 01:19:16,054 --> 01:19:20,058 ...is the first ten amendments of the Constitution. 777 01:19:22,058 --> 01:19:26,016 Freedom of religion, of speech. 778 01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:30,070 Freedom of peaceful assembly. 779 01:19:31,016 --> 01:19:34,016 Freedom of the press. 780 01:19:36,033 --> 01:19:39,045 Freedom of holding meetings. 781 01:19:42,087 --> 01:19:44,029 Freedom of... 782 01:19:46,037 --> 01:19:47,087 ...sex. 783 01:19:48,020 --> 01:19:50,020 The right to arm bears. 784 01:19:52,062 --> 01:19:55,025 Unreasonable search. 785 01:20:12,087 --> 01:20:15,033 Vlad, this is Lucia's Uncle Sal. 786 01:20:16,029 --> 01:20:17,087 Lucia told me about you. 787 01:20:17,095 --> 01:20:19,029 Likewise. 788 01:20:19,058 --> 01:20:21,083 This is my mama and my wife. 789 01:20:22,016 --> 01:20:23,091 How do you do, Mother? 790 01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:26,054 That is my wife. This is my mama. 791 01:20:28,091 --> 01:20:32,079 All rise for the Honourable Judge Louise R. Reynolds. 792 01:20:33,029 --> 01:20:34,079 You may sit. 793 01:20:36,079 --> 01:20:39,008 Ladies and gentlemen, good morning. 794 01:20:39,075 --> 01:20:43,083 Today you will become citizens of the United States of America. 795 01:20:44,020 --> 01:20:48,079 No longer are you an Englishman, ltalian, or Pole, or whatever. 796 01:20:49,029 --> 01:20:52,020 Neither will you be a hyphenated American. 797 01:20:52,095 --> 01:20:58,016 From this day, you are no longer a subject of a government... 798 01:20:58,029 --> 01:21:01,066 ...but an integral part of the government. A free man. 799 01:21:02,058 --> 01:21:05,008 May you find in this nation... 800 01:21:05,016 --> 01:21:09,075 ...the fulfilment of your dreams of peace and security... 801 01:21:10,037 --> 01:21:13,070 ...and may America, in turn, never find you wanting... 802 01:21:13,091 --> 01:21:18,075 ...in your new proud role of citizen of the United States. 803 01:21:19,054 --> 01:21:22,004 Will the petitioners please rise? 804 01:21:22,095 --> 01:21:25,083 Now, let us take the oath of allegiance. 805 01:21:26,020 --> 01:21:28,033 "I hereby declare, on oath... 806 01:21:31,025 --> 01:21:34,020 "...that I absolutely and entirely renounce... 807 01:21:38,029 --> 01:21:40,075 "...all allegiance and fidelity... 808 01:21:43,075 --> 01:21:46,066 "...to any foreign prince or potentate... 809 01:21:49,070 --> 01:21:54,037 "...that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws... 810 01:21:58,083 --> 01:22:01,079 "...of the United States of America... 811 01:22:03,079 --> 01:22:05,087 "...against all enemies. 812 01:22:08,020 --> 01:22:11,004 "I take this obligation freely... 813 01:22:14,008 --> 01:22:17,037 "...without any mental reservation... 814 01:22:20,025 --> 01:22:22,033 "...or purpose of evasion... 815 01:22:23,091 --> 01:22:25,054 "...so help me God." 816 01:22:27,083 --> 01:22:29,095 Congratulations, citizens. 817 01:23:45,058 --> 01:23:47,054 A wonderful day, I think. 818 01:23:52,037 --> 01:23:56,012 -You have period today? -No, why? 819 01:23:56,029 --> 01:24:00,000 -You're so serious. -It was an emotional day. 820 01:24:01,012 --> 01:24:02,083 I'm just tired. 821 01:24:04,020 --> 01:24:05,095 Goddamn it! 822 01:24:06,016 --> 01:24:10,025 What? I'm sorry. I can't help myself. 823 01:24:14,075 --> 01:24:16,045 -Nightcap? -No. 824 01:24:20,008 --> 01:24:21,083 What's the matter? 825 01:24:22,008 --> 01:24:24,083 You don't like a man being crazy for your sweet zhopka? 826 01:24:24,095 --> 01:24:28,020 -Not with my Uncle Sal around. -Uncle Sal is sleeping. 827 01:24:28,066 --> 01:24:30,079 Why doesn't he like Russians? 828 01:24:32,041 --> 01:24:34,041 He thinks you're a Communist. 829 01:24:34,050 --> 01:24:38,070 You know what I think? I think we should move in together. 830 01:24:40,087 --> 01:24:44,091 I think you should live with me. That way we save on rent, utilities. 831 01:24:44,095 --> 01:24:48,066 You don't have to take the "A" train to make love with me. 832 01:24:49,054 --> 01:24:54,029 -What do you think? -I don't feel like talking now. 833 01:24:54,083 --> 01:24:57,058 You don't have to talk. Just tell me what you think. 834 01:24:57,066 --> 01:25:00,054 Haven't you ever felt like not talking about something? 835 01:25:00,058 --> 01:25:03,041 In Russia that's permanent way of life. 836 01:25:04,062 --> 01:25:06,070 Just give me some vodka. 837 01:25:08,016 --> 01:25:10,054 You don't care for me? 838 01:25:13,000 --> 01:25:16,020 -That's the problem. -Problem, why? 839 01:25:16,029 --> 01:25:18,050 I think I care too much. 840 01:25:18,075 --> 01:25:21,020 Come here. You know how much I love you? 841 01:25:21,037 --> 01:25:23,066 Don't! It makes it worse. 842 01:25:23,075 --> 01:25:26,025 -Just leave off of me. -What? 843 01:25:26,033 --> 01:25:28,070 I have worked, okay? 844 01:25:28,079 --> 01:25:32,062 I have worked and struggled to make myself an American. 845 01:25:32,070 --> 01:25:34,016 An American! 846 01:25:35,004 --> 01:25:38,079 I want to be in love with someone who fits with my.... 847 01:25:39,083 --> 01:25:42,095 Okay. Now I understand. 848 01:25:43,075 --> 01:25:46,012 I'm not Robert Redford. Okay. 849 01:25:48,075 --> 01:25:52,016 -I didn't mean it that way. -What the hell do you mean? 850 01:25:52,025 --> 01:25:56,079 Don't you understand? It's too fast. I'm not ready for this. I don't want this. 851 01:25:57,041 --> 01:25:59,070 I'm not ready for full-time love yet. 852 01:25:59,079 --> 01:26:02,091 That's fine. I don't love you. 853 01:26:03,062 --> 01:26:06,054 What do you mean, you don't love me? Yes, you do love me! 854 01:26:06,062 --> 01:26:10,008 You are big American. Okay, congratulations, citizen! 855 01:26:14,062 --> 01:26:16,079 Communist Pope killer! 856 01:26:18,008 --> 01:26:19,091 There goes the neighbourhood. 857 01:26:33,066 --> 01:26:37,000 Let me tell you, she's not the only piece of pasta on the menu... 858 01:26:37,008 --> 01:26:39,041 ...so you have to make a move for something else. 859 01:26:39,050 --> 01:26:40,079 Be difficult? 860 01:26:42,083 --> 01:26:44,062 Hello, sweet thing. 861 01:26:45,070 --> 01:26:48,045 Don't turn up your nose, honey, it blocks the light. 862 01:26:56,070 --> 01:26:59,054 Come on, Vlad, we're already here. Let's go. 863 01:27:02,054 --> 01:27:04,079 It's time to make a move. 864 01:27:08,045 --> 01:27:10,025 Hello, sweet thing. 865 01:27:12,016 --> 01:27:15,037 Don't turn up your light to me, it blocks the nose. 866 01:27:21,016 --> 01:27:22,075 Vodka? Double. 867 01:27:23,058 --> 01:27:25,087 I can't do this. That's Wild Bill Hawthorn. 868 01:27:26,037 --> 01:27:28,045 I got a surprise for you tonight. 869 01:27:29,020 --> 01:27:33,066 I found out from a friend of mine that we have a musician, a Russian. 870 01:27:34,012 --> 01:27:38,016 His name is Vladimir lvanoff. 871 01:27:38,083 --> 01:27:40,054 A nice round for lvanoff. 872 01:27:49,008 --> 01:27:51,033 -Welcome aboard. -Thank you, sir. 873 01:27:56,020 --> 01:28:00,083 I played over in the Soviet Union in 1964. 874 01:28:02,025 --> 01:28:03,070 Yeah, I know. 875 01:28:04,058 --> 01:28:07,020 Do you know the song or blues to Yolanda? 876 01:28:08,012 --> 01:28:10,025 Why don't you sit in with us on it? 877 01:29:25,029 --> 01:29:27,012 I got smoked, man. 878 01:29:27,020 --> 01:29:30,012 You didn't get smoked. What did you expect from the man? 879 01:29:33,066 --> 01:29:35,045 What are you doing? 880 01:29:36,054 --> 01:29:39,066 Better to know who you are. That way you know your limits. 881 01:29:39,079 --> 01:29:41,087 You know who the hell you are. 882 01:29:42,000 --> 01:29:44,091 All he said was practice and work on it. 883 01:29:45,020 --> 01:29:48,058 -No, man, I am shit. -You're full of shit. 884 01:29:50,000 --> 01:29:52,016 -By the way, you are white. -Thank you. 885 01:29:52,045 --> 01:29:55,091 You just don't pick up soul in two or three months... 886 01:29:56,037 --> 01:29:58,033 ...even if you are Russian. 887 01:29:58,058 --> 01:30:02,041 And I'll tell you something else, that self-pity won't get you nowhere. 888 01:30:03,020 --> 01:30:05,062 The saddest thing in the world is life. 889 01:30:05,075 --> 01:30:07,033 You telling me? 890 01:30:07,079 --> 01:30:11,029 It gets so bad, sometimes I don't think I'll make it. 891 01:30:12,095 --> 01:30:15,012 Did I ever tell you I had a kid? 892 01:30:16,045 --> 01:30:20,025 I met this girl, she got pregnant and went back home to Alabama. 893 01:30:20,054 --> 01:30:23,000 Thomas Alva Witherspoon, 5 years old. 894 01:30:23,008 --> 01:30:27,000 -That's wonderful. -When I think of that kid, I want to cry. 895 01:30:27,079 --> 01:30:29,050 Why don't you cry? 896 01:30:30,037 --> 01:30:33,045 -It's good for you. -I don't have to cry. 897 01:30:36,016 --> 01:30:39,050 When I was in Russia, I did not love my life... 898 01:30:40,050 --> 01:30:43,004 ...but I loved my misery. 899 01:30:43,045 --> 01:30:44,095 You know why? 900 01:30:45,054 --> 01:30:47,091 Because it was my misery. 901 01:30:49,004 --> 01:30:51,029 I could hold it. 902 01:30:51,079 --> 01:30:54,012 I could caress it. 903 01:30:54,091 --> 01:30:57,054 I loved my misery. 904 01:30:59,062 --> 01:31:04,079 You know, I have a whole family I will never ever see again. 905 01:31:13,008 --> 01:31:17,066 You see? Now you see. You know it. There it is. 906 01:31:18,029 --> 01:31:22,050 Now you know that the saddest thing in the world is life. 907 01:31:22,079 --> 01:31:25,037 Yeah, man. Now you see. 908 01:31:48,029 --> 01:31:51,070 Thank you. Thank you for a wonderful night. 909 01:31:51,083 --> 01:31:53,087 Boy, I feel great. 910 01:31:55,041 --> 01:31:58,025 Take care. I love you. 911 01:32:05,008 --> 01:32:09,004 If that was wonderful, what happens when he hits deep depression? 912 01:32:18,087 --> 01:32:22,012 Do you want to smell? You like it? 913 01:32:30,045 --> 01:32:35,000 If she doesn't like it, you can bring it back. But don't lose the sales slip. 914 01:32:35,004 --> 01:32:38,037 -Okay, thank you very much. -You're welcome. Have a nice day. 915 01:32:47,025 --> 01:32:48,083 What are you doing here? 916 01:32:48,091 --> 01:32:51,054 -You must to help me. -What do you want? 917 01:32:51,066 --> 01:32:53,079 I'm looking for blue jeans. 918 01:32:59,029 --> 01:33:00,066 I love you. 919 01:33:00,091 --> 01:33:03,087 I don't want to argue with you, Vladimir. 920 01:33:04,041 --> 01:33:05,083 I know you love me, too. 921 01:33:06,033 --> 01:33:09,062 Defections are in the blue jeans department, fellow. 922 01:33:09,070 --> 01:33:12,020 -What's happening? -Hi, Lucy. 923 01:33:12,058 --> 01:33:13,095 How are you? 924 01:33:14,004 --> 01:33:15,062 I got some news. 925 01:33:16,025 --> 01:33:18,012 -I'm turning in my badge. -Why? 926 01:33:18,095 --> 01:33:22,083 -I was due a raise and it didn't come. -What are you going to do now? 927 01:33:23,012 --> 01:33:25,062 I'm going to Alabama to see the kid. 928 01:33:26,029 --> 01:33:29,008 That's good for you, but sad for us. 929 01:33:29,016 --> 01:33:31,095 -I'll miss you. -Why don't you two come see me? 930 01:33:33,041 --> 01:33:35,012 We give you a call. 931 01:33:38,025 --> 01:33:40,008 I want toilet water. 932 01:33:40,091 --> 01:33:43,041 Tonight, we go and make party. 933 01:33:43,050 --> 01:33:47,012 -No, I don't want to go with you. -For Lionel. Why don't you want to go? 934 01:33:47,029 --> 01:33:48,087 I don't want to argue. 935 01:33:49,012 --> 01:33:50,091 I want toilet water. 936 01:33:54,045 --> 01:33:58,025 If I go now, I don't ever come back, okay? You hear me now? 937 01:34:00,066 --> 01:34:02,025 I hear you now. 938 01:34:04,004 --> 01:34:05,037 Goodbye. 939 01:34:10,054 --> 01:34:13,000 -I want toilet water. -For you. 940 01:35:08,079 --> 01:35:10,004 Man. 941 01:35:17,050 --> 01:35:20,045 Thank you, Lionel. Thank you for everything. 942 01:35:21,045 --> 01:35:23,020 You've been greatest friend to me. 943 01:35:23,058 --> 01:35:25,029 I'm just a citizen. 944 01:35:30,020 --> 01:35:32,087 You keep your pecker in your pocket. 945 01:36:20,004 --> 01:36:22,050 Glad you came up here, Vladimir. 946 01:36:22,091 --> 01:36:26,025 Just wanted to check in. How you feeling? 947 01:36:26,041 --> 01:36:27,091 Good and bad. 948 01:36:28,004 --> 01:36:30,095 The feet have been swelling up, so I got to keep them up. 949 01:36:31,004 --> 01:36:33,033 -Or so they say. -You look good. 950 01:36:33,045 --> 01:36:36,025 Shit, don't get old if you can help it. 951 01:36:36,075 --> 01:36:39,054 In Russia, we honour the old people. We take care of them. 952 01:36:39,062 --> 01:36:41,070 I think I move out there. 953 01:36:42,029 --> 01:36:44,008 Hello, sweet thing. 954 01:36:44,050 --> 01:36:47,016 Don't turn up your nose, it blocks the light. 955 01:36:48,066 --> 01:36:50,054 You hear from Lionel? 956 01:36:50,062 --> 01:36:53,066 The boy sent a card. Says he's okay. 957 01:36:53,075 --> 01:36:55,050 Did he find work? 958 01:36:55,058 --> 01:36:58,095 I don't know, but man do need to work to feel good. 959 01:37:00,029 --> 01:37:03,020 Next week, we get tickets, we go to the ballgame. 960 01:37:04,066 --> 01:37:08,075 -I'd love to if my feet are better. -They'll be better. 961 01:37:09,050 --> 01:37:12,033 -Take care, Pops. -So long, Vladimir. 962 01:37:33,050 --> 01:37:34,087 Who is it? 963 01:37:39,058 --> 01:37:40,062 Who are you? 964 01:37:43,025 --> 01:37:45,054 Who the hell are you, KGB? 965 01:37:46,016 --> 01:37:48,075 I have a letter for you. From your family. 966 01:37:53,025 --> 01:37:54,025 A letter? 967 01:37:55,033 --> 01:37:56,062 Give it to me. 968 01:38:03,062 --> 01:38:04,083 Come in. 969 01:38:13,029 --> 01:38:14,083 Where did you get this? 970 01:38:17,045 --> 01:38:20,020 I knew your sister, Sasha, at school. 971 01:38:22,070 --> 01:38:24,070 How did you get it here? To America? 972 01:38:24,079 --> 01:38:30,016 We were permitted to leave after only three years. We are Jewish. 973 01:38:46,020 --> 01:38:48,087 You have a beautiful home. 974 01:38:51,079 --> 01:38:53,025 Bad news? 975 01:38:56,079 --> 01:38:58,075 My grandfather died. 976 01:39:04,012 --> 01:39:06,000 He was a comedian. 977 01:39:19,070 --> 01:39:21,070 I will leave you, Vladimir lvanoff. 978 01:39:22,045 --> 01:39:28,016 Thank you. Please call me when you get settled. 979 01:39:53,079 --> 01:39:55,008 It's New York. 980 01:40:02,037 --> 01:40:03,062 Goodbye. 981 01:40:23,091 --> 01:40:26,008 Shut up down there! 982 01:40:27,054 --> 01:40:30,058 It's not a nightclub, asshole! 983 01:40:52,004 --> 01:40:54,083 If you're looking for trouble, you'll get it! 984 01:40:58,041 --> 01:41:02,033 You don't like jazz, pal? He was comedian. 985 01:41:02,041 --> 01:41:04,091 He don't care about nobody. 986 01:41:05,016 --> 01:41:09,033 Hey, you fuck yourself! Okay, pal? Okay, mister! 987 01:44:03,087 --> 01:44:06,025 Hold still, motherfucker! 988 01:44:06,033 --> 01:44:08,041 -Who are you? -Where's the money? 989 01:44:08,058 --> 01:44:11,020 -Why you do this? -Just shut the fuck up! 990 01:44:11,029 --> 01:44:13,079 -I am Russian. -You're no fucking Russian! 991 01:44:13,087 --> 01:44:16,012 I am Russian! 992 01:44:25,054 --> 01:44:27,045 I am Russian! 993 01:44:41,037 --> 01:44:43,045 What was in the wallet besides money? 994 01:44:44,012 --> 01:44:47,095 Some ID, driver's licence, Social Security. 995 01:44:48,054 --> 01:44:51,070 Easily replaceable, my friend. You want to go to a doctor? 996 01:44:51,087 --> 01:44:52,091 No. 997 01:44:53,095 --> 01:44:56,045 This is a goddamn insane country. 998 01:44:57,045 --> 01:45:01,016 They were so young, and their eyes were cold like animals. 999 01:45:02,033 --> 01:45:06,091 In Russia, I knew who the enemy was. Here, it's too confusing. 1000 01:45:07,004 --> 01:45:08,066 You're overreacting. 1001 01:45:08,091 --> 01:45:11,095 I always heard that Russians overdid things. 1002 01:45:13,037 --> 01:45:17,083 Is this liberty? lf it is, it's false liberty. Where are the poets? 1003 01:45:17,087 --> 01:45:21,041 What do you want, a perfect place to live? There's no such thing. 1004 01:45:21,050 --> 01:45:24,000 Police said, even if they catch them, they go free. 1005 01:45:24,008 --> 01:45:27,050 They're juveniles. They get away with a lot of crap. 1006 01:45:34,054 --> 01:45:37,004 -Can I help you, gentlemen? -Two coffees, please. 1007 01:45:37,008 --> 01:45:39,025 -An apple turnover. -Make it two. 1008 01:45:40,025 --> 01:45:42,091 When you can't walk down the street, is that freedom? 1009 01:45:43,054 --> 01:45:46,083 Do you really think you were better off before in Russia? 1010 01:45:47,037 --> 01:45:50,075 It's freedom for a woman to spread her legs like that on a magazine? 1011 01:45:53,033 --> 01:45:55,012 Hey, pal, you free? 1012 01:45:56,095 --> 01:45:58,033 Excuse us. 1013 01:45:58,066 --> 01:45:59,095 There's no freedom here. 1014 01:46:00,004 --> 01:46:02,033 If there is, she's an orphan. 1015 01:46:03,095 --> 01:46:07,029 To tell you the truth, New York frightens me. 1016 01:46:07,058 --> 01:46:09,066 It's brutal. It's crazy. 1017 01:46:13,062 --> 01:46:15,025 What are you staring at? 1018 01:46:15,037 --> 01:46:16,041 Take it easy-- 1019 01:46:16,050 --> 01:46:20,087 Don't tell me to take it easy! No one tells me take it easy anymore. 1020 01:46:21,004 --> 01:46:23,000 What are you staring at? 1021 01:46:26,008 --> 01:46:27,045 What did he say? 1022 01:46:27,054 --> 01:46:30,033 He says that he's looking at a giant asshole from Moscow. 1023 01:46:33,016 --> 01:46:34,054 What's he saying now? 1024 01:46:34,066 --> 01:46:37,016 He said he's from Leningrad, giant asshole. 1025 01:46:39,025 --> 01:46:41,062 He's been here seven years and he loves it. 1026 01:46:44,083 --> 01:46:47,079 He's telling me to go back to Moscow, turd. 1027 01:46:47,095 --> 01:46:55,016 In Moscow, we have to fight for a crumb of freedom. 1028 01:46:56,025 --> 01:46:59,012 Here, you shit on it! 1029 01:47:11,062 --> 01:47:13,091 He says that if I want law and order... 1030 01:47:14,000 --> 01:47:16,033 ...l should go back and stand in line for bread. 1031 01:47:16,045 --> 01:47:17,091 Stale bread. 1032 01:47:19,004 --> 01:47:20,087 What the hell is that? 1033 01:47:21,079 --> 01:47:24,016 Firecrackers. Independence Day. 1034 01:47:36,016 --> 01:47:37,050 I'm sorry. 1035 01:47:52,045 --> 01:47:54,012 Independence Day. 1036 01:47:54,054 --> 01:47:59,041 You know, it's, "When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary...." 1037 01:48:00,008 --> 01:48:02,016 What is it? I forgot the rest. 1038 01:48:02,033 --> 01:48:05,037 "We hold these truths to be self-evident... 1039 01:48:06,012 --> 01:48:08,079 "...that all men are created equal... 1040 01:48:08,091 --> 01:48:11,062 "...that they are endowed by their Creator... 1041 01:48:11,062 --> 01:48:14,066 "...with certain unalienable rights. These are: 1042 01:48:14,095 --> 01:48:16,008 "Life. 1043 01:48:16,033 --> 01:48:17,058 "Liberty. 1044 01:48:18,008 --> 01:48:19,041 "Happiness." 1045 01:48:22,045 --> 01:48:23,058 Happiness. 1046 01:48:24,012 --> 01:48:25,041 Happiness. 1047 01:49:20,091 --> 01:49:22,045 What happened? 1048 01:49:23,075 --> 01:49:27,016 I got mugged. What are you doing here? 1049 01:49:29,008 --> 01:49:30,079 You want me to go? 1050 01:49:31,000 --> 01:49:33,004 No. It's a nice surprise. 1051 01:49:34,033 --> 01:49:38,045 I came over because I was going to leave the key here. 1052 01:49:38,075 --> 01:49:41,016 Waiting for you, I fell asleep. 1053 01:49:42,029 --> 01:49:46,004 You don't look very nice. Are you sure you're fine? 1054 01:49:46,075 --> 01:49:48,095 I'm strong like Russian bear. 1055 01:49:49,000 --> 01:49:51,050 -How you been? -I've been okay. 1056 01:49:57,095 --> 01:50:00,008 I've missed you very much. 1057 01:50:02,075 --> 01:50:03,095 Me, too. 1058 01:50:08,012 --> 01:50:10,054 I'm not ready for marriage yet... 1059 01:50:11,041 --> 01:50:14,050 ...but I would love to live with an immigrant. 1060 01:50:26,012 --> 01:50:30,045 "Beloved family: I received the news of Grandfather's death. 1061 01:50:31,016 --> 01:50:33,012 "Of course, I'm very sad... 1062 01:50:33,029 --> 01:50:36,045 "...but he lived on his own terms, even to the end. 1063 01:50:39,050 --> 01:50:42,008 "I'm playing my dear saxophone again. 1064 01:50:42,045 --> 01:50:45,054 "Yes, I've finally gotten work as a musician. 1065 01:50:48,016 --> 01:50:52,083 "My friend, Lionel, returned from Alabama and he now has my old job. 1066 01:50:58,004 --> 01:51:03,058 "In the day, I'm free to do what I please as long as it is legal. " 1067 01:51:10,037 --> 01:51:12,016 A hot dog, please. 1068 01:51:18,041 --> 01:51:21,004 Don't worry, my friend. I'm retired. 1069 01:51:21,029 --> 01:51:23,062 Yeah? What are you doing here? 1070 01:51:24,062 --> 01:51:28,012 Did you think I could go back to Moscow after what happened? 1071 01:51:29,029 --> 01:51:31,029 -Have you been well? -Yeah. 1072 01:51:33,029 --> 01:51:35,054 -It's a strange country? -Yes. 1073 01:51:35,083 --> 01:51:37,075 Strange and wonderful. 1074 01:51:38,079 --> 01:51:41,062 -Can I say thank you? -Sure. 1075 01:51:45,075 --> 01:51:47,041 Put your money away. 1076 01:51:52,054 --> 01:51:53,083 It's a good hot dog. 1077 01:51:54,000 --> 01:51:55,091 The best in New York. 1078 01:51:58,029 --> 01:51:59,062 See you. 1079 01:52:00,041 --> 01:52:02,000 Okay, mister. 1080 01:52:19,054 --> 01:52:22,033 "This is a free country, welcome to almost anyone. 1081 01:52:22,058 --> 01:52:25,066 "And I hope that someday you will join me here. 1082 01:52:25,079 --> 01:52:29,004 "Of course, I will continue to write to you every week. 1083 01:52:29,012 --> 01:52:31,087 "Yes, in America anything is possible. 1084 01:52:32,045 --> 01:52:36,012 "Goodbye for now, beloved family. I love you. Volya. "