1 00:01:08,628 --> 00:01:13,628 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:31,759 It was destiny that brought the great Sherlock Holmes into my life. 3 00:01:31,924 --> 00:01:37,430 That fateful day, I met the finest, most compassionate, most beautiful man 4 00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,766 I would ever have the honor to know. 5 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:42,310 You look radiant this morning, my darling. 6 00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,479 Green and proud. 7 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,483 Not a blemish on your perfect skin. 8 00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:50,903 You beautiful, green, succulent bitch... 9 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:54,364 I first met him after my return from the Afghan War. 10 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,950 The war had left me with a broken leg and a broken spirit. 11 00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,494 I was in dire straits. 12 00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,037 Do you like this? 13 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:06,459 I was going to end it all, but that terrible moment... 14 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:07,544 Goodbye, life. 15 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,961 ...became the greatest of my life. 16 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:10,546 You unforgiving turd. 17 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,674 He saw I was about jump to my death. 18 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,468 - Don't do it! - And he immediately tried to stop me. 19 00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:16,469 Get out of the way. I'm going to jump. 20 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:20,140 Jump into that garden over there. 21 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:22,308 Are you telling me not to jump? 22 00:02:22,391 --> 00:02:24,936 There are many other ways you could kill yourself. 23 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,605 We had instant connection. 24 00:02:26,687 --> 00:02:28,439 This man cares about me. 25 00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:30,150 A little cup of poison. 26 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,404 - Dead. - He gave me a reason to live. 27 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:34,487 Yes, we'll go and have a drink. 28 00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:39,909 I will get my gun and fill your heart full of bullets. 29 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,830 Yes, right in the heart. 30 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:45,915 It's crazy, but I love you, too. 31 00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,960 He was a man of great compassion. 32 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,212 I'm losing patience with you. 33 00:02:50,294 --> 00:02:53,381 You're right. Life really is worth living. I... 34 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:57,468 No, no, no! 35 00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,805 No! 36 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,225 You saved me. I'm alive. 37 00:03:03,307 --> 00:03:05,394 Your giant vegetable saved me. 38 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,312 - Don't... Yes. - Thank you, my new friend. 39 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,147 - Please not... - I'm in your debt forever. 40 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,566 Please don't destroy any more of it. 41 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:12,985 Oh, God. 42 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,486 It has been my honor... 43 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,362 - John Watson. - Yes. Hi. 44 00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:18,407 - ...ever since. - Sherlock Holmes. 45 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,989 Extra! Extra! Read all about it! 46 00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:01,241 Moriarty's crime spree over! 47 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:04,994 Professor James Moriarty faces justice today! 48 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,581 The Napoleon of crime on trial! 49 00:04:07,663 --> 00:04:09,832 Greatest criminal in the empire! 50 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:10,918 That's fake news. 51 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,962 Professor James Moriarty. 52 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,757 You have been the organizer of half that is evil 53 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:20,218 and all that goes undetected in this great city. 54 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:25,389 Today, you are charged with murder in the first degree, 55 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:28,769 but all the witnesses have died. 56 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,856 Without said witnesses, we have no choice but to set you free. 57 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,362 Inspector Lestrade, 58 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,366 you simply must take better care of your witnesses. 59 00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:47,161 Mark my words, 60 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,706 Sherlock Holmes is on his way, and with him, 61 00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:52,543 the evidence that will damn you to the noose. 62 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,170 Then we should all pray he arrives soon, 63 00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:58,966 for on the strike of noon, I shall have to release this menace. 64 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,550 Sherlock will be here. 65 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:04,179 He is about to burst through those doors right now. 66 00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:13,814 Stop this trial at once! 67 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:19,610 I, Sherlock Holmes, have solved the case of Professor James Moriarty. 68 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,406 Wonderful. Wonderful, Holmes. 69 00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:25,116 A dramatic entrance worthy of your greatest achievement. 70 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:30,663 Watson, did you notice my emphasis on "Professor James Moriarty"? 71 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,081 Yes, with the finger, yes. 72 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,584 - Much better than the hand. - Yes. 73 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,669 Instead of the karate chop, I went to the index finger. 74 00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,088 Yes, it's the best one yet. 75 00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,132 This is the moment everyone's been waiting for. 76 00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:41,215 Right here. 77 00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,343 Yes, and they're literally waiting for it now. 78 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,096 - Oh, yes. - You must get dressed. 79 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,389 - Yes? - Very well. 80 00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:49,057 There we are. There are your things. 81 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:51,225 - Remember, trial of the century. - Yes. 82 00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:53,353 We have but... Let's see now... 83 00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:55,189 Just 16 minutes left, Holmes. 84 00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,731 Speed is of the essence. 85 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,983 - Nearly there? - Nearly there. 86 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,986 A sniff of morning cocaine always helps the brain. 87 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,949 Come now, Sherlock. You mustn't let that trial conclude. 88 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:09,495 For this occasion, I have selected a new hat. 89 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:13,206 From now on, when people utter the name "Sherlock Holmes," 90 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,540 they will picture... 91 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,209 This. 92 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:19,838 Brilliant. 93 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,255 Can we go? 94 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,424 Your furrowed brow betrays your lying lips. 95 00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:24,802 Oh, no. 96 00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:26,261 Not to worry. 97 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,723 Hey there, cowboy. 98 00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,725 - That's the one. - Bang, bang. 99 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,268 We should leave, yes? 100 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,061 Aye, aye. 101 00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:36,855 I say, I like that one very much. 102 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:39,191 You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes. 103 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,735 Mrs. Hudson, what do you think of this one? 104 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:43,986 Me? 105 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,698 I'm just a housekeeper from the Glasgow slums. 106 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,534 The likes of me telling the likes of you 107 00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,245 what to put on his noggin? 108 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,495 Good point. 109 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,456 Back to your monkey work, Hudson. 110 00:06:57,125 --> 00:07:00,253 - Perfect, right? - May I show you a few more hats? 111 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,046 - No! - Someone's left a wee box. 112 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,339 What are you going on about? 113 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,217 I never even heard anyone knocking. 114 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,760 Did you hear anything? 115 00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:09,221 How very queer. 116 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,474 Queerer and queerer. 117 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,102 Very odd. 118 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,355 Watson, no. 119 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,065 Holmes, why are you getting so exercised? 120 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,692 It's merely an empty box. 121 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:27,197 Watson, this is sent from Moriarty. He means to kill us. 122 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,031 Listen. 123 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,369 Shut that window. 124 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,204 If this winged menace escapes, it may cause a pandemic. 125 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,497 A killer mosquito? 126 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,625 The insect is infected with African plague. 127 00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,377 One bite means death. 128 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,296 Now, dance a Dutch jig. 129 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:50,678 You don't have to ask me twice to do a Dutch jig, but why? 130 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:53,431 Your body heat will attract him to dine on your flesh. 131 00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:54,640 Brilliant. 132 00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:57,186 Hold! Don't move. 133 00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,103 - Where is it? - Right there. 134 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,855 Right there on your forehead. 135 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,775 - Kill it, Holmes. - I'm going to kill it. 136 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,943 - There it is. Don't move. - Where? 137 00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,946 - And hold. No. - No, no, no. 138 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,115 No, hold. 139 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,200 Is it biting? 140 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:15,495 I hear it. 141 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:19,665 I see it. 142 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,086 The tip! 143 00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,047 Don't worry, boys, I brought a net. 144 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,809 It is now seven minutes before noon. 145 00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:43,857 Upon the lowering of my gavel, the charges shall be dismissed. 146 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:47,945 I shall raise my gavel in the air like so, 147 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,447 and then bring it down briskly, 148 00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,618 making a satisfying bang, 149 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:59,373 at which point the prisoner shall go free. 150 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,010 Angle of approach. 151 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,555 Compensate for warp in floor. 152 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,225 Account for resistance due to dust motes. 153 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:21,602 Probable outcome: termination of mosquito, 154 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:24,188 integrity of bee habitat maintained, 155 00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,608 deadly bee swarm averted. 156 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,656 The mosquito's vanquished. 157 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,949 Well done, Holmes. 158 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:38,537 It's a simple matter of geometry, entomology and physics. 159 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,709 Oh, my God! 160 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:45,793 Oh, shit! 161 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,588 Watson, stop panicking! 162 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,340 We can disable the queen. 163 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,259 It's making them angry, Holmes! 164 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,516 Oh, my God. What are they doing? 165 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,019 They're turning this way! 166 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,812 Just do anything! Help me! 167 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,941 - It's working! - No! 168 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,485 It's not working! 169 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,694 - Get it off! - It's not working! 170 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,823 Holmes, we retreat. 171 00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:17,201 Run for safety. I'll lead them away. 172 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,350 Stop this trial! 173 00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:54,071 May I present to you the greatest detective of all time. 174 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:56,072 Solver of the unsolvable. 175 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,990 Untier of Gordian knots. 176 00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,119 Bester of conundrums. 177 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,163 The great Sherlock Holmes. 178 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:07,625 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 179 00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,798 Stop this trial at once! 180 00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,847 Thank goodness you've arrived, Mr. Holmes. 181 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:23,809 Now, what startling new evidence do you have 182 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:25,894 - for the court? - I am the evidence. 183 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:30,481 Inspector Lestrade called upon me for assistance, 184 00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:33,652 for he lacked the mental capacity to solve it himself. 185 00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,904 The inspector is a handsome man. 186 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,490 Ruddy. Strapping. 187 00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,869 Legs like oaken trunks. 188 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,370 Teeth like ivory. 189 00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:48,332 And yet his wife is of hideous visage, terrible to look upon. 190 00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,418 They say her gaze curdles milk. 191 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,044 - What? - Who says that? 192 00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:53,589 Face like a pig's rectum. 193 00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,257 - Geoffrey. - Holmes! 194 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,884 Close those pillowy lips. 195 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,052 I am under oath! 196 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,471 Actually, you're not under oath. 197 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,306 Not under yours. 198 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,100 Under my own sworn duty as a detective. 199 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:09,645 I cannot allow my brain to be clouded with feelings. 200 00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:10,773 Now... 201 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:13,107 I recall the day vividly. 202 00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:15,527 I arrived at the crime scene alone, 203 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,697 completely and utterly alone. 204 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:23,993 I meticulously inspected every nook and cranny of that study, 205 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,995 hunting for clues, 206 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,291 much like a panther stalks its prey. 207 00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:39,468 And as I stood there, I began to employ a groundbreaking new technique. 208 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:40,719 Right there. 209 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,138 Behold, fingerprints! 210 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:48,309 Imagine a print being taken from a finger. 211 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:49,644 I love it. 212 00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,563 How do these prove Moriarty's guilt? 213 00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:57,110 Watson. 214 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:01,407 Moriarty would never leave a trail of clues, 215 00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:04,993 which begs the question, "Why was this crime scene 216 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:08,913 "so uncharacteristically littered with fingerprints?" 217 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,206 Good work, Watson. 218 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:11,833 Thank you. I just thought of what you might have done. 219 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,836 I compared these prints 220 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,462 to those of the man standing before you. 221 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,548 A perfect match. 222 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,426 Unequivocal proof that this man 223 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,136 is innocent. 224 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,346 What? 225 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:28,224 But if those are Moriarty's prints, then Moriarty is the murderer. 226 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:30,726 This man is not Moriarty. 227 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:32,604 He sure looks like Moriarty. 228 00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:33,813 He's an impostor. 229 00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:36,525 His name is Jacob Musgrave. 230 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,860 A complete look-alike. A doppelgänger. 231 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:42,990 A patsy framed to hang for Moriarty's crimes 232 00:13:43,157 --> 00:13:45,743 so that I may abandon my pursuit of him 233 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,662 and he can begin life anew in America. 234 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,415 Why would an innocent man agree to hang for Moriarty's crimes? 235 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:53,666 Elementary. 236 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,085 This man is terminally ill. 237 00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:58,046 Look at him, his pallid complexion, 238 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,882 the palsy in his left hand. 239 00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:03,177 Wait, I know. He's an onanist. 240 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:06,346 Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind. 241 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,806 What's an onanist? 242 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,600 He... Let's see. 243 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,394 He pours his own tea. 244 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:17,899 He likes to create his own sauce. 245 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,610 He is a saucier. 246 00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,947 And the name of his restaurant is Crotch Kitchen. 247 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:28,285 On a daily basis, he creams his own éclair. 248 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:32,581 He is Romeo and Juliet. 249 00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:33,874 That should do it. 250 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,501 This here! 251 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:37,836 He's a wanker! 252 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:38,920 Thank you. 253 00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:40,214 Sorry, ladies. 254 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:44,176 This chap here had nothing to lose by being executed. 255 00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:47,262 He was literally dying by his own hand. 256 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,222 It causes death, you see. 257 00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:52,600 The infallible Sherlock Holmes has indeed spoken. 258 00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:56,270 In light of his testimony, I order the release of the suspect. 259 00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:58,565 What? This is an outrage! 260 00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:01,192 Do not let this murderer free. 261 00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,778 Bang, bang, bang! 262 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,238 Court is adjourned. 263 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,365 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 264 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,703 Why are you cheering? 265 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:14,997 Sherlock! 266 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,626 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 267 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,129 That couldn't have gone better. 268 00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,422 It couldn't have. 269 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,131 And I tell you, that case was rather... 270 00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:25,759 It took us three years to catch him. 271 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,261 If we release him now, we may never find him again. 272 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:31,974 Put aside your ego and admit I am right. 273 00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:35,185 I am afraid Moriarty's long gone to America. 274 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:40,732 Whatever crimes Moriarty commits from now on are on your head. 275 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,528 I quite like seeing Lestrade upset. 276 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,237 Yeah. I do, too. 277 00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:54,747 Professor James Moriarty fled to the Americas 278 00:15:54,830 --> 00:16:00,919 and would never darken England again. 279 00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:07,301 What a fine ending to my final book of our adventures. 280 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:10,178 All there is left to do now is to let the ink dry 281 00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:12,513 on this one copy of my manuscript. 282 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,230 No. 283 00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:23,317 Fucking son of a... 284 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,282 Holmes. 285 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,284 Are you upset? 286 00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,120 It's just that Moriarty was the whetstone 287 00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,290 upon which I sharpened my mental blade. 288 00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:41,835 With him gone, not there to challenge me, why go on? 289 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:47,758 Instead, I shall occupy my great, great mind with nutritional science. 290 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:52,011 My research suggests that the sulfurous compounds of the common onion 291 00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:54,597 can increase your red blood cells. 292 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,225 Vital for human health. 293 00:16:57,518 --> 00:16:59,394 Just bite it like an apple? 294 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,567 Definitely takes four or five bites. 295 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,364 Are we meant to eat the whole thing? 296 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,697 The whole thing. 297 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,410 Let the juice slither down the back of your throat. 298 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,164 Congratulations, Holmes. 299 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,085 You're not only the smartest man in London, 300 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,128 you shall soon be the healthiest. 301 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,462 Indeed. 302 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,384 Now, where's my opium? 303 00:17:32,428 --> 00:17:33,512 Mrs. Hudson! 304 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,556 - Hudson! - Hudson! 305 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:36,639 Help! 306 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,143 Hudson, Watson has stuck a carrot up my bum! 307 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,477 Hudson, help! 308 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,562 - Fire! - Call the police! 309 00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,272 Hudson, your mother has died! 310 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,150 You brain-dead bag of bones! 311 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:50,319 - Hudson! - Hudson! 312 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,739 Hudson, where are you? 313 00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,491 Did you not hear any of that? 314 00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,536 - We screamed "fire." - Where? 315 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,245 And we were screaming your name. 316 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,038 You were just there in my bedroom? 317 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,172 Supawn and succotash. 318 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,798 The great Sherlock Holmes. 319 00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:12,968 - I am Mark... - You curl your R's, 320 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:16,846 indicating a native from a less-educated United State. 321 00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,598 Namely, Missouri. 322 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,184 Smudge of ink on your waistcoat, 323 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:24,480 index finger of your right hand calloused from a quill. 324 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,733 You are the writer of popular fiction, Mark Twain. 325 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,653 But can you deduce what we've been up to? 326 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,530 I'll give you a clue. 327 00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,784 It rhymes with "Huck Finn." 328 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,452 Hudson. How many times have I told you 329 00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:41,830 about bringing men into our home for your trolloping? 330 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,664 Were you rooting in my room? 331 00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:46,710 I'm sorry. 332 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:50,379 I just cannae help myself when it comes to pleasures of the flesh. 333 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,633 Shame, you dirty girl. 334 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,509 I promise it won't happen again. 335 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,385 The next time I go to confession, 336 00:18:56,470 --> 00:19:01,892 I'll add 12 Hail Marys for my sins of carnality. 337 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,435 It reeks of exposed loins. 338 00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,730 Just take your amorous American and be gone. 339 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,150 Out. More writing and less fornicating, Twain. 340 00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,527 All right. 341 00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,904 - Shut up. - Come on. 342 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:18,325 No wonder my room always smells like fish pie and semen. 343 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,123 This came for you. 344 00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:29,253 Sealed by hands unused to manual labor. 345 00:19:32,798 --> 00:19:35,759 Saliva from a protein-rich diet of chicken kidneys. 346 00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:38,429 Why, Watson, it's from the Queen. 347 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,307 Seems Her Majesty requests my services. 348 00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:45,144 A crime that has baffled even her closest advisors, 349 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:48,063 and only my singular intellect can solve it. 350 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,605 Well, well, well. 351 00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,607 Look who's back in the game. 352 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,027 Watson, are you all right? 353 00:19:55,112 --> 00:19:56,654 I'm just very nervous. 354 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,948 I've not met the Queen before. 355 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,455 - Deep breath. - Your Majesty, 356 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,499 Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson. 357 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,794 Oh, my God, it's really her. 358 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:22,806 Watson. 359 00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:24,767 Say something. 360 00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:27,435 I love you. 361 00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:32,316 I know I am duty-bound to serve you, but let me just say on a personal note, 362 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,150 - I really like you. - Stop touching her. 363 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,276 Just as a fan. 364 00:20:35,986 --> 00:20:38,572 Please, sir. Don't touch the Queen. 365 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,032 Quite right. 366 00:20:41,575 --> 00:20:42,951 Sorry, Your Majesty. 367 00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:44,745 You look a lot smaller in person. 368 00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:48,164 - Just stop. - Sorry. It's true. 369 00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,750 Just stop talking. 370 00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:51,168 - Yes. - Stop talking. 371 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,586 I'm crazy about your look. 372 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,089 What did I say? 373 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,424 - Am I still talking out loud? - You are. 374 00:20:58,049 --> 00:20:59,884 - It's just the Queen. - Yes. 375 00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:02,721 - Okay. - Okay. 376 00:21:02,805 --> 00:21:06,682 Your Majesty, how may we be of service to the realm? 377 00:21:06,767 --> 00:21:09,269 Mr. Holmes, pray follow us. 378 00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:11,395 There is danger about. 379 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,942 What a looker, right? 380 00:21:15,025 --> 00:21:16,485 She is stunning in person. 381 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,488 Fear not, Your Majesty, 382 00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:23,574 Sherlock will allow no harm to come to you, and neither will I. 383 00:21:23,659 --> 00:21:28,705 Five, four, three, two, one. 384 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,249 Surprise! 385 00:21:30,749 --> 00:21:32,375 Thank you. 386 00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:35,420 Had I been a non-genius such as yourselves, 387 00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:38,673 there's a 72% chance I would have been surprised. 388 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:40,675 72%. 389 00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:44,512 Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes. 390 00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:47,807 We wish you well and thank you for your many years... 391 00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:51,394 Your many years of public service. 392 00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:56,482 - So, Holmes. - Yes. 393 00:21:56,567 --> 00:21:57,567 When did you know? 394 00:21:57,651 --> 00:21:58,902 Tuesday. 395 00:21:58,986 --> 00:22:00,237 Really? 396 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,655 You were seven minutes late coming home. 397 00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:06,993 Stopped at the stationer's, confirmed by the scent of paper mulch. 398 00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:08,537 You have the nose of a bloodhound. 399 00:22:08,703 --> 00:22:11,289 Your mustache betrayed a dusting of crumbs. 400 00:22:11,457 --> 00:22:13,667 Evidence of cake sampling. 401 00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:15,877 Guilty. 402 00:22:15,961 --> 00:22:19,338 And you purchased a case of pre-phylloxera champagne. 403 00:22:19,423 --> 00:22:23,218 You lack the self-esteem to buy yourself such an extravagant bottle. 404 00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:25,178 It's true. 405 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,138 I don't deserve nice things. 406 00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:35,271 For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow 407 00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:39,108 For he's a jolly good fellow 408 00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:41,360 And so say all of us 409 00:22:42,738 --> 00:22:43,864 Bravo. 410 00:22:45,156 --> 00:22:46,324 Thank you. 411 00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,950 That was delightful. 412 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:50,703 A layer cake! 413 00:22:50,788 --> 00:22:52,205 It's shaped like a magnifying glass. 414 00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:53,331 Yes! 415 00:22:57,086 --> 00:22:59,337 The second layer is rather thick. 416 00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:03,842 There must be a few nuts in there. If I may. 417 00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:06,010 - Would you mind? - Here. Yes, of course. 418 00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:09,305 Do you see what I'm talking about? 419 00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,431 Yes. 420 00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:13,017 Raspberry jam. 421 00:23:13,727 --> 00:23:14,728 My weakness. 422 00:23:14,811 --> 00:23:16,187 I know what I need. 423 00:23:17,397 --> 00:23:18,898 What the... He's getting an ax! 424 00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:20,442 - Brilliant. - Charge! 425 00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:26,490 Stand back. Back, everyone, I say. 426 00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:29,034 A murder in Buckingham Palace. 427 00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,660 Look, a note. There. 428 00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:33,746 Right under your nose. 429 00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:41,963 "A birthday present for you, Sherlock. 430 00:23:42,047 --> 00:23:44,298 "A crime to challenge your wits. 431 00:23:44,383 --> 00:23:46,802 "Stop me in four days' time, or I will destroy 432 00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:49,054 "London's greatest marvel and kill the Queen, 433 00:23:49,137 --> 00:23:51,013 "and I will rewrite history." 434 00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:54,225 Signed "Professor James Moriarty." 435 00:23:55,853 --> 00:23:59,189 This is Jimmy Gruber, the witness who disappeared, 436 00:23:59,355 --> 00:24:01,775 whose testimony prompted Moriarty's arrest 437 00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:04,278 and whom Moriarty swore to kill. 438 00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:05,821 And your conclusion? 439 00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:12,452 That Moriarty has killed again, as I predicted. 440 00:24:13,537 --> 00:24:15,038 The most obvious conclusion. 441 00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:18,417 No, this is definitely the work 442 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:21,252 of someone who is going to extraordinary lengths 443 00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:24,173 to make it appear as if Moriarty committed these crimes. 444 00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:26,383 - Sherlock Holmes. - The Queen. 445 00:24:28,009 --> 00:24:31,305 We charge you with the task of stopping this criminal 446 00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:32,847 before he can do us harm. 447 00:24:33,557 --> 00:24:36,852 Solve this case on behalf of your queen and country. 448 00:24:37,019 --> 00:24:38,311 - I will. - We will. 449 00:24:38,394 --> 00:24:39,520 But, Your Majesty... 450 00:24:39,605 --> 00:24:42,274 Sherlock Holmes has never failed us. 451 00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:44,442 The bold ingenuity of this crime 452 00:24:44,526 --> 00:24:46,945 calls me back to the profession of detecting 453 00:24:47,028 --> 00:24:48,571 like a siren song. 454 00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:50,406 I won't let anyone hurt you. 455 00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:52,283 Watson. To the morgue. 456 00:24:52,451 --> 00:24:54,787 Lestrade, clean this mess up now. 457 00:24:54,869 --> 00:24:57,246 - The game is a-starting. - Yeah. 458 00:25:01,710 --> 00:25:04,546 Who is this copycat pretending to be Moriarty? 459 00:25:04,712 --> 00:25:07,382 Finally, a problem worthy of my brain. 460 00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:09,134 This birthday cake is delicious. 461 00:25:09,218 --> 00:25:10,635 Did you get a chance to try it? 462 00:25:10,803 --> 00:25:12,387 No, there was a corpse in it. 463 00:25:14,556 --> 00:25:16,057 What the... 464 00:25:16,767 --> 00:25:18,059 Watson? 465 00:25:19,353 --> 00:25:20,813 Oh, my goodness. 466 00:25:22,730 --> 00:25:23,816 Finders keepers. 467 00:25:23,898 --> 00:25:24,899 Yeah. 468 00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:28,028 Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait out here? 469 00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:29,737 The last time you were in the morgue, you... 470 00:25:29,821 --> 00:25:33,825 Watson, I am a man of stout constitution. 471 00:25:33,909 --> 00:25:36,745 Yes, of course. I just thought, after the last time, 472 00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:38,204 with the... 473 00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:40,332 And the... 474 00:25:41,208 --> 00:25:43,252 Merely a bout of stomach influenza. 475 00:25:43,419 --> 00:25:44,628 Yes, but the time before that? 476 00:25:44,795 --> 00:25:47,047 - Bad clams. - And before that? 477 00:25:47,131 --> 00:25:48,715 I shook hands with a prostitute. 478 00:25:48,798 --> 00:25:50,134 Yes. 479 00:25:50,884 --> 00:25:53,761 No. Put that away. 480 00:25:53,846 --> 00:25:58,349 I'm not some vaporous, giggling, fainting maiden who... 481 00:26:05,315 --> 00:26:06,607 Oh, ye of little... 482 00:26:10,362 --> 00:26:11,779 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 483 00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:14,657 I think I'm starting to feel a bit... 484 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:15,783 I wouldn't... 485 00:26:15,867 --> 00:26:18,119 - Are you... - No, I'm fine. 486 00:26:18,202 --> 00:26:20,705 'Cause if you start to feel sick, then I'll start to feel... 487 00:26:25,794 --> 00:26:28,172 - Surely I must be done. - Yes. 488 00:26:28,255 --> 00:26:30,007 Next to impossible to still... 489 00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:38,681 There you are. 490 00:26:38,766 --> 00:26:40,601 - All done. - Yes, there. 491 00:26:41,769 --> 00:26:43,644 - Would you like some water? - Did you say water... 492 00:26:44,563 --> 00:26:45,855 Sorry. I'm sorry. 493 00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:48,232 Shall we begin the autopsy? 494 00:26:48,901 --> 00:26:51,028 Thank goodness these cleaning women are here 495 00:26:51,111 --> 00:26:52,278 to clean up this dreadful mess. 496 00:26:52,362 --> 00:26:53,489 Someone's made sick. 497 00:26:54,155 --> 00:26:56,575 My dear Watson, these women 498 00:26:56,657 --> 00:26:58,367 are far too well-dressed to be cleaning women. 499 00:26:58,535 --> 00:27:02,498 They're here to identify their well-to-do husbands' bodies. 500 00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:04,040 Sorry for your loss. 501 00:27:04,208 --> 00:27:06,543 Thank you, but I am the doctor. 502 00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:10,047 Look, Watson, grief has scrambled her brain. 503 00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:12,007 She thinks she's a doctor. 504 00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:15,301 Fortunately, Miss, there's a real doctor here 505 00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:16,595 who may help you. 506 00:27:16,929 --> 00:27:18,180 Would you like some heroin? 507 00:27:18,638 --> 00:27:20,723 Dr. Watson, I presume. 508 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:23,018 And you must be Sherlock Holmes. 509 00:27:23,102 --> 00:27:25,144 Dr. Grace Hart of Boston. 510 00:27:25,854 --> 00:27:27,523 A woman doctor? 511 00:27:27,605 --> 00:27:30,025 - What times we live in. - Yes. 512 00:27:30,442 --> 00:27:32,903 In America, we're much more progressive. 513 00:27:32,986 --> 00:27:35,781 I now make 30 cents for every dollar a man earns. 514 00:27:35,864 --> 00:27:38,491 What does "doctor" mean in America? 515 00:27:38,575 --> 00:27:40,326 It means "doctor." 516 00:27:40,411 --> 00:27:42,371 You're Dr. G. Hart? 517 00:27:42,453 --> 00:27:44,163 - Of Boston? - Yes. 518 00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:46,875 Holmes, we're in the presence of a pioneer. 519 00:27:46,959 --> 00:27:49,670 Dr. Hart's work with the use of electroshock therapy 520 00:27:49,752 --> 00:27:52,047 to cure female hysteria is groundbreaking. 521 00:27:52,131 --> 00:27:56,051 Yes, I proved the higher the voltage, the more demons are released. 522 00:27:56,134 --> 00:27:57,301 Well, of course. 523 00:27:57,385 --> 00:27:59,387 Some of my patients live as long as a week. 524 00:27:59,471 --> 00:28:02,057 Doctor? Spelled D-O-C-T-O-R? 525 00:28:02,141 --> 00:28:03,683 Yes. 526 00:28:04,143 --> 00:28:05,978 This is my aide, Millicent. 527 00:28:06,561 --> 00:28:09,689 She's very shy, but a wonderful traveling companion. 528 00:28:10,441 --> 00:28:13,067 Shall we proceed to the examination? 529 00:28:13,736 --> 00:28:15,738 - Please. - Our cadaver awaits. 530 00:28:17,823 --> 00:28:19,199 No, no, no. 531 00:28:19,282 --> 00:28:20,616 Here. 532 00:28:21,326 --> 00:28:23,162 Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell. 533 00:28:23,244 --> 00:28:26,539 Perhaps you would rather stay here and keep Millicent company. 534 00:28:29,710 --> 00:28:30,961 Sherlock Holmes. 535 00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:32,336 Charmed to meet... 536 00:28:34,673 --> 00:28:35,758 To meet you. 537 00:28:36,467 --> 00:28:38,634 Millicent is the subject of my research. 538 00:28:38,719 --> 00:28:40,804 She was raised by feral cats. 539 00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:43,055 She has the mental capacity of a four-year-old, 540 00:28:43,140 --> 00:28:46,226 but it is my belief that with sufficient electroshock therapy, 541 00:28:46,309 --> 00:28:49,145 she can achieve the intellect of a six-year-old. 542 00:28:49,229 --> 00:28:51,230 We are truly in the golden age of medicine. 543 00:28:51,315 --> 00:28:52,857 There's nothing left to learn. 544 00:28:52,941 --> 00:28:53,942 No. 545 00:28:55,903 --> 00:28:57,488 What a creature you are. 546 00:29:08,373 --> 00:29:11,460 You're devouring that onion with such passion. 547 00:29:14,546 --> 00:29:16,048 It's strangely arousing. 548 00:29:17,633 --> 00:29:18,967 Dr. Watson, I have always 549 00:29:19,050 --> 00:29:22,386 been taken by your unwavering devotion to Mr. Holmes, 550 00:29:22,471 --> 00:29:25,932 but haven't you ever considered something more? 551 00:29:27,101 --> 00:29:29,561 Perhaps a co-detective? 552 00:29:31,771 --> 00:29:33,439 He and I? 553 00:29:33,523 --> 00:29:34,649 Co-detectives? 554 00:29:34,732 --> 00:29:35,733 Yes. 555 00:29:36,151 --> 00:29:37,653 The very idea! 556 00:29:38,820 --> 00:29:40,446 Solving crimes together? 557 00:29:41,656 --> 00:29:43,908 Laughing and enjoying the esprit de corps 558 00:29:43,991 --> 00:29:46,662 of two best friends pursuing a noble cause. 559 00:29:46,744 --> 00:29:48,287 Madness. No, dear. 560 00:29:48,372 --> 00:29:50,833 No, not I. 561 00:29:52,125 --> 00:29:53,460 Not here. 562 00:29:54,336 --> 00:29:58,548 Not even in my most rapturous moments of private fantasy. 563 00:30:04,430 --> 00:30:07,975 Anyway, let's go clean this cake-covered bastard, shall we? 564 00:30:11,854 --> 00:30:13,814 The wonders of modern medicine. 565 00:30:17,859 --> 00:30:20,194 Now, you're going to laugh, 566 00:30:20,278 --> 00:30:22,489 but I found the most important tool of an autopsy is... 567 00:30:22,573 --> 00:30:23,657 Music. 568 00:30:25,075 --> 00:30:26,326 Yes. 569 00:30:26,410 --> 00:30:27,452 You, too? 570 00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:39,298 This one always gets me in the mood. 571 00:30:41,633 --> 00:30:43,177 So begins the dance... 572 00:30:52,769 --> 00:30:54,437 You have some dribble. 573 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,315 Just a touch of dribble right... 574 00:31:07,826 --> 00:31:12,247 There is something so sensual about forensic autopsy, isn't there? 575 00:31:35,729 --> 00:31:37,189 You are a delight. 576 00:31:37,647 --> 00:31:40,525 Your eyes say more than words ever could. 577 00:31:45,989 --> 00:31:49,992 The tincture of ammonia and scrotum. 578 00:31:50,451 --> 00:31:52,371 Hello, Inspector Lestrade. 579 00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:56,165 We have combed the manifests 580 00:31:56,250 --> 00:31:59,127 of every ship to set sail for the Americas 581 00:31:59,211 --> 00:32:02,338 and found not a single Moriarty. 582 00:32:02,423 --> 00:32:05,592 Moriarty's too cunning to use his own name. 583 00:32:05,675 --> 00:32:07,343 He's sailing under an alias. 584 00:32:08,386 --> 00:32:09,471 Here we are. 585 00:32:09,555 --> 00:32:11,807 So, after a thorough... 586 00:32:11,973 --> 00:32:13,349 Very thorough. 587 00:32:15,269 --> 00:32:17,019 - Stop. - No, you stop. 588 00:32:18,063 --> 00:32:20,065 ...examination of the body... 589 00:32:20,148 --> 00:32:24,694 And I must say, Dr. Hart made some beautiful lateral incisions there. 590 00:32:24,778 --> 00:32:29,866 No, watching you flay the skin from his face so gently. 591 00:32:29,950 --> 00:32:32,286 - I would flay a thousand faces for you. - And the way... 592 00:32:32,368 --> 00:32:33,870 Just tell me what you found! 593 00:32:34,371 --> 00:32:36,081 Yes. 594 00:32:36,164 --> 00:32:37,750 Cause of death indeterminate. 595 00:32:37,833 --> 00:32:39,168 Indeterminate? 596 00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:40,543 What do you mean? 597 00:32:40,626 --> 00:32:42,171 It means he doesn't know. 598 00:32:43,046 --> 00:32:44,465 - Proceed, Watson. - Yes. 599 00:32:44,882 --> 00:32:48,802 We found a freshly applied tattoo of a cross 600 00:32:48,969 --> 00:32:51,346 and the numbers one and 20. 601 00:32:51,846 --> 00:32:53,682 I have the oddest feeling. 602 00:32:54,098 --> 00:32:56,350 It's like knowing, but the opposite. 603 00:32:56,518 --> 00:32:57,978 Meaning you haven't a clue. 604 00:32:58,060 --> 00:33:01,522 Who is this genius pretender who's taken Moriarty's place, 605 00:33:01,606 --> 00:33:04,151 committing crimes exactly the way he would? 606 00:33:05,861 --> 00:33:07,821 A fantastic new case. 607 00:33:07,904 --> 00:33:10,156 I'm aroused both mentally and physically. 608 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,951 I was wondering, rather than working beside you on this case, 609 00:33:14,036 --> 00:33:16,663 I might work with you as a sort of... 610 00:33:16,913 --> 00:33:18,664 Grace called it a "co-detective." 611 00:33:19,124 --> 00:33:23,045 One cannot simply just make someone a detective. 612 00:33:23,127 --> 00:33:24,462 It must be earned. 613 00:33:24,546 --> 00:33:27,007 Well, I deduced you might say that. 614 00:33:27,090 --> 00:33:31,928 Which is why, when we arrive home, I propose a game of chess. 615 00:33:32,721 --> 00:33:34,181 If I should best you, 616 00:33:34,263 --> 00:33:36,224 then surely I possess the mental power... 617 00:33:36,307 --> 00:33:38,769 Checkmate! 618 00:33:38,935 --> 00:33:41,062 What? We haven't started yet. 619 00:33:41,355 --> 00:33:42,980 You would have opened with the Queen's Gambit. 620 00:33:43,523 --> 00:33:45,233 Indeed. A reliable first move. 621 00:33:45,317 --> 00:33:46,902 I would have countered with a Slav Defense. 622 00:33:47,778 --> 00:33:49,863 An audacious move. Quite unexpected. 623 00:33:49,946 --> 00:33:52,407 You would have panicked, thus exposing your queen. 624 00:33:52,490 --> 00:33:53,491 No, not my queen! 625 00:33:53,575 --> 00:33:57,078 Seeing your queen exposed would have compelled you to defend her. 626 00:33:57,162 --> 00:34:00,124 Indeed. It is my duty in chess, as in life. 627 00:34:00,207 --> 00:34:02,251 Thereby neglecting my castle. 628 00:34:04,461 --> 00:34:05,671 Checkmate. 629 00:34:06,963 --> 00:34:08,257 Perhaps another game? 630 00:34:08,340 --> 00:34:10,175 Rock-paper-scissors. 631 00:34:10,259 --> 00:34:12,677 Rock, rock, paper, paper, scissors, paper, 632 00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:14,846 rock, scissors, paper, rock. 633 00:34:15,722 --> 00:34:16,723 Dash it all! 634 00:34:16,806 --> 00:34:18,099 What about Battleship? 635 00:34:18,266 --> 00:34:20,852 D-three, E-three, F-three and G-three. 636 00:34:20,936 --> 00:34:23,105 Damn it, you've sunk my battleship. 637 00:34:23,188 --> 00:34:25,023 You're a good man, Watson, 638 00:34:25,733 --> 00:34:27,192 but you're not ready. 639 00:34:28,485 --> 00:34:29,737 But why? 640 00:34:29,820 --> 00:34:32,114 If you were ready, you'd know why. 641 00:34:42,916 --> 00:34:44,501 Let the game begin. 642 00:34:45,085 --> 00:34:46,586 A piece for a piece. 643 00:34:47,336 --> 00:34:48,880 Two can play at that game. 644 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:13,447 Peekaboo. 645 00:35:17,617 --> 00:35:18,701 Checkmate. 646 00:35:19,369 --> 00:35:21,663 And to the victor, the spoils. 647 00:35:25,291 --> 00:35:26,793 You'll never be co-detective. 648 00:35:32,965 --> 00:35:35,802 Watson, I'm near a breakthrough. 649 00:35:35,969 --> 00:35:41,809 My hypothesis is the true cause of death is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo. 650 00:35:41,891 --> 00:35:43,309 But I need your help. 651 00:35:45,896 --> 00:35:47,523 You want me to be co-detective? 652 00:35:49,108 --> 00:35:51,485 I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson. 653 00:35:52,110 --> 00:35:53,319 Sorry for what? 654 00:35:53,403 --> 00:35:55,155 Mr. Holmes left me no choice. 655 00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:57,615 - May you rest in peace. - What's she on about? 656 00:35:57,699 --> 00:36:01,619 All will be clear in three, two, one. 657 00:36:03,996 --> 00:36:04,998 Excuse me. 658 00:36:05,081 --> 00:36:06,290 I'll take that. 659 00:36:06,583 --> 00:36:08,251 It's just something caught in my throat. 660 00:36:08,876 --> 00:36:10,128 Oh, no. 661 00:36:10,211 --> 00:36:11,463 I poisoned you. 662 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:12,881 Why? 663 00:36:12,965 --> 00:36:14,508 To test my theory. 664 00:36:14,590 --> 00:36:16,134 Am I going to die? 665 00:36:16,217 --> 00:36:17,510 No, I have an antidote. 666 00:36:18,302 --> 00:36:20,012 But I need to see it play out. 667 00:36:20,806 --> 00:36:22,224 Now, let's see here. 668 00:36:22,724 --> 00:36:24,226 Redness around the mouth. Good. 669 00:36:24,476 --> 00:36:25,477 Help me. 670 00:36:25,811 --> 00:36:28,188 You will have temporary brain damage. 671 00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:31,817 Wake up, Watson. Wake up. 672 00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:33,318 We have work to do. Watson. 673 00:36:34,193 --> 00:36:35,903 Who's Watson? I'll kill him! 674 00:36:36,112 --> 00:36:37,321 You son of a bitch! 675 00:36:37,405 --> 00:36:38,489 Violent aggression. 676 00:36:38,574 --> 00:36:40,492 Please give me the antidote. 677 00:36:40,576 --> 00:36:41,827 Drama queen syndrome. 678 00:36:42,911 --> 00:36:44,163 Why am I doing this? 679 00:36:44,246 --> 00:36:45,456 Confused mime. 680 00:36:46,289 --> 00:36:48,458 Does this suit make me look fat? 681 00:36:48,541 --> 00:36:50,168 Body image dysmorphia. 682 00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:52,045 My eyes! 683 00:36:52,128 --> 00:36:54,297 - Sensitivity to light. - My eyes! It burns! 684 00:36:55,673 --> 00:36:57,675 Excruciating abdominal pain. 685 00:36:58,427 --> 00:36:59,845 Yes, it's confirmed. 686 00:36:59,927 --> 00:37:01,971 It was poison. Come, Watson. 687 00:37:02,054 --> 00:37:03,306 Let us not be late. 688 00:37:05,476 --> 00:37:06,477 Of course. 689 00:37:06,559 --> 00:37:07,603 Lactation. 690 00:37:09,563 --> 00:37:11,440 - Why? - Come along, Watson. 691 00:37:11,523 --> 00:37:12,775 I'll explain in the cab. 692 00:37:15,985 --> 00:37:17,153 There we go. 693 00:37:17,237 --> 00:37:18,947 Oh, thank God for this antidote. 694 00:37:19,030 --> 00:37:21,449 I feel as though I've completely recovered. 695 00:37:22,326 --> 00:37:23,534 Yes, you have. 696 00:37:26,413 --> 00:37:27,498 There. 697 00:37:27,664 --> 00:37:28,749 So, where are we going? 698 00:37:28,916 --> 00:37:30,959 The fact that the victim was poisoned 699 00:37:31,043 --> 00:37:34,880 suggests the killer lacked physical strength to overpower him. 700 00:37:35,047 --> 00:37:38,050 The tattoos you examined have an uneven quality. 701 00:37:38,382 --> 00:37:41,969 It leads me to believe that they were drawn by a one-armed man. 702 00:37:42,137 --> 00:37:44,556 A one-armed man. 703 00:37:44,639 --> 00:37:45,891 Yes. 704 00:37:46,057 --> 00:37:47,893 A weak man who would use poison. 705 00:37:47,976 --> 00:37:52,898 There is only one one-armed tattoo artist in all of London. 706 00:37:53,065 --> 00:37:55,900 The nefarious Gustav Klinger. 707 00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,363 Dorset Street! And don't spare the horses! 708 00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:00,655 Dorset Street. 709 00:38:00,739 --> 00:38:04,492 Home of drunkards, thieves and hairy, old whores. 710 00:38:04,742 --> 00:38:07,286 And, if my theory is correct, the killer. 711 00:38:08,414 --> 00:38:09,832 Hello, gorgeous. 712 00:38:10,998 --> 00:38:14,752 Though all is calm now, we must be on highest alert. 713 00:38:16,672 --> 00:38:19,925 Shall we ask someone if they've seen our one-armed Mr. Klinger? 714 00:38:20,007 --> 00:38:23,469 This neighborhood does not welcome curious outsiders. 715 00:38:23,554 --> 00:38:25,347 Excuse me. Have you the time? 716 00:38:25,514 --> 00:38:27,015 Not for you, outsider. 717 00:38:28,976 --> 00:38:30,602 Merciful God. 718 00:38:30,686 --> 00:38:32,271 We must blend in. 719 00:38:32,353 --> 00:38:36,357 Fortunately, my time tripping the boards has made me a master of disguise. 720 00:38:36,442 --> 00:38:37,443 Yes. 721 00:38:44,157 --> 00:38:45,199 You. 722 00:38:45,284 --> 00:38:46,660 What have you done with Sherlock? 723 00:38:47,034 --> 00:38:48,077 Why, Watson... 724 00:38:49,288 --> 00:38:50,371 I never left. 725 00:38:52,666 --> 00:38:54,251 - Amazing. - Yes, I know. 726 00:38:54,460 --> 00:38:56,753 Yes, you've outdone yourself this time. 727 00:38:56,836 --> 00:38:58,005 Now... 728 00:38:58,713 --> 00:38:59,965 No. 729 00:39:00,047 --> 00:39:01,507 - Still me. - It's you? 730 00:39:01,592 --> 00:39:03,260 It's still Sherlock. 731 00:39:03,342 --> 00:39:05,303 - All right. - Rest assured. 732 00:39:05,387 --> 00:39:06,638 It's very convincing. 733 00:39:06,804 --> 00:39:08,222 Now for your disguise. 734 00:39:09,056 --> 00:39:10,141 What will it be? 735 00:39:12,268 --> 00:39:15,396 Yes. You, my friend, 736 00:39:16,398 --> 00:39:21,612 shall play a down-on-your-luck horseshit salesman. 737 00:39:22,362 --> 00:39:23,530 Yes. 738 00:39:24,072 --> 00:39:25,449 Yes. 739 00:39:25,782 --> 00:39:28,493 Come, Watson. We have a one-armed killer to catch. 740 00:39:28,994 --> 00:39:30,037 Get into character. 741 00:39:30,119 --> 00:39:32,163 - Horseshit for sale! - There you go. 742 00:39:32,246 --> 00:39:34,040 - Who will buy my horse's shit? - I'll take some. 743 00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:37,335 No one must know our true purpose. 744 00:39:38,295 --> 00:39:39,378 What you toffs want? 745 00:39:39,922 --> 00:39:43,884 To buy a pint for any man who can raise two hands. 746 00:39:47,221 --> 00:39:49,389 Every man has both arms. 747 00:39:49,681 --> 00:39:50,849 Klinger isn't here. 748 00:39:51,724 --> 00:39:53,059 Our journey continues. 749 00:39:53,893 --> 00:39:56,187 - Blend in like a common oaf. - Yes. 750 00:39:58,398 --> 00:40:00,192 Keep drinking. We need to fit in. 751 00:40:00,275 --> 00:40:01,276 Cheers. 752 00:40:04,028 --> 00:40:05,780 More, more! 753 00:40:18,085 --> 00:40:19,461 They have boxing here. 754 00:40:19,545 --> 00:40:21,046 I don't care if he's small! 755 00:40:21,130 --> 00:40:22,923 - Kill! - Come on, fight! 756 00:40:25,467 --> 00:40:26,844 Shouldn't we be looking for Klinger? 757 00:40:26,927 --> 00:40:28,887 - Who cares about Klinger? - Exactly! 758 00:40:32,932 --> 00:40:34,143 Release the child! 759 00:40:34,226 --> 00:40:36,061 Let go of that boy! I want him dead! 760 00:40:36,144 --> 00:40:37,728 Sweet river of piss. 761 00:40:40,190 --> 00:40:41,567 You have real force there. 762 00:40:42,818 --> 00:40:44,236 Arc of stream. 763 00:40:44,318 --> 00:40:45,737 Direction of wind. 764 00:40:45,820 --> 00:40:47,655 Compensate for shy penis. 765 00:40:47,739 --> 00:40:49,574 Avoid splash on shoes. 766 00:40:50,826 --> 00:40:52,119 And release fluids. 767 00:40:52,202 --> 00:40:53,370 Oh, my goodness. 768 00:40:53,829 --> 00:40:56,707 Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants. 769 00:40:57,331 --> 00:40:58,916 You really are a genius. 770 00:40:59,001 --> 00:41:00,085 - Watch it. - Sorry. 771 00:41:01,420 --> 00:41:03,255 I should like to send a telegram. 772 00:41:04,047 --> 00:41:05,715 Grace. Stop. 773 00:41:07,925 --> 00:41:10,179 Are you awake? Stop. 774 00:41:12,681 --> 00:41:14,766 You're such a pretty doctor lady. 775 00:41:16,893 --> 00:41:18,561 Are you quite sure this is a good idea? 776 00:41:18,644 --> 00:41:20,021 This is wonderful. 777 00:41:20,105 --> 00:41:23,358 The combination of the late hour and your drunkenness 778 00:41:23,442 --> 00:41:26,862 allows for communication of exceptional honesty. 779 00:41:26,945 --> 00:41:27,946 Quite right. 780 00:41:28,030 --> 00:41:29,740 I will call it an intoxigram. 781 00:41:29,822 --> 00:41:32,366 And no one shall ever regret sending one. 782 00:41:32,701 --> 00:41:35,454 Now, lay bare the fruits of your inebriation. 783 00:41:35,536 --> 00:41:36,871 Ask her what she's wearing. 784 00:41:37,289 --> 00:41:39,166 What are you wearing? Stop. 785 00:41:39,708 --> 00:41:40,751 Bloomers? 786 00:41:40,833 --> 00:41:42,043 A brassiere? 787 00:41:42,126 --> 00:41:44,170 I'd wager you'd look good in anything. 788 00:41:44,253 --> 00:41:45,588 - Wonderful. - Stop. 789 00:41:45,672 --> 00:41:47,757 Shall I ask what Millie thinks about you? 790 00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:51,970 I don't care. Sure. Why not? 791 00:41:52,054 --> 00:41:54,222 What does Millie think of Sherlock? 792 00:41:54,306 --> 00:41:57,976 Does Millie ever drip wax over her body? 793 00:41:58,059 --> 00:42:00,311 Hot wax. Stop. 794 00:42:00,686 --> 00:42:02,397 - Okay. That's enough. - Yeah, I think so. 795 00:42:02,481 --> 00:42:03,774 Describe your loins. 796 00:42:03,940 --> 00:42:07,610 I have hot loins. 797 00:42:08,237 --> 00:42:10,614 Hot loins for sale. 798 00:42:11,114 --> 00:42:13,324 Come and get them while they're hot. 799 00:42:13,409 --> 00:42:15,327 - Hot, steamy loins. - Stop. 800 00:42:15,411 --> 00:42:18,956 Now show her how she makes you feel. 801 00:42:19,831 --> 00:42:21,458 Just go ahead. Display it. 802 00:42:22,708 --> 00:42:23,793 There. 803 00:42:23,876 --> 00:42:26,422 Don't look away. Look at it. 804 00:42:27,005 --> 00:42:28,215 There we go. 805 00:42:28,297 --> 00:42:29,799 Telegraph a picture of this. 806 00:42:30,175 --> 00:42:33,262 And make sure you get the banger and the beans. 807 00:42:33,344 --> 00:42:34,679 Focus on the mushroom. 808 00:42:34,847 --> 00:42:37,516 Are you positive I shan't regret this in the morning? 809 00:42:38,434 --> 00:42:39,685 You absolutely will. 810 00:42:39,768 --> 00:42:41,311 - Silence, you! - Say it again. 811 00:42:41,394 --> 00:42:42,646 Say it again. I dare you. 812 00:42:42,728 --> 00:42:43,980 Please say it again. 813 00:42:44,063 --> 00:42:45,815 Do you think you would be the first man I've killed? 814 00:42:45,898 --> 00:42:47,734 I have the penis of a baby doll. 815 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:52,823 It's just a statement of fact. 816 00:42:57,869 --> 00:43:02,165 Watson, after a night of drinking, I could eat a whole pie. 817 00:43:02,248 --> 00:43:04,417 No, it's cakes for me, my friend. 818 00:43:04,501 --> 00:43:05,836 Cakes, indeed! 819 00:43:05,918 --> 00:43:09,255 Yes, cakes stacked on cakes. 820 00:43:10,340 --> 00:43:12,092 We should open a restaurant called 821 00:43:12,175 --> 00:43:16,012 the International House of Cakes Stacked Upon Other Cakes. 822 00:43:16,262 --> 00:43:19,141 Yes, and you can only eat there after a night of drinking. 823 00:43:19,224 --> 00:43:21,477 Well, speaking of the night, I fear it's a night wasted. 824 00:43:21,559 --> 00:43:23,228 No sign of Klinger anywhere. 825 00:43:24,396 --> 00:43:25,981 Not so fast, Watson. 826 00:43:26,148 --> 00:43:28,733 Look at those two men and their tattoos. 827 00:43:29,108 --> 00:43:30,402 I don't understand. 828 00:43:30,735 --> 00:43:33,154 We haven't been able to find the tattoo artist. 829 00:43:33,237 --> 00:43:35,948 Perhaps we should follow the tattoos. 830 00:43:40,161 --> 00:43:41,413 A gymnasium? 831 00:43:41,496 --> 00:43:43,581 You really think Klinger would be here, Holmes? 832 00:43:43,664 --> 00:43:45,875 Look alive, Watson. He could be anywhere. 833 00:43:46,751 --> 00:43:49,003 Three, two, one. 834 00:43:49,420 --> 00:43:51,756 Pick it up! That's it. 835 00:43:52,173 --> 00:43:54,342 Out with the bad air, in with the good. 836 00:43:54,425 --> 00:43:55,719 Look at these health nuts. 837 00:43:55,802 --> 00:43:56,886 Big deep breath. 838 00:43:57,304 --> 00:43:59,722 Obsessed with the purifying effects of smoke. 839 00:43:59,806 --> 00:44:03,184 All right, good lungful of the cleansing vapors. 840 00:44:04,143 --> 00:44:05,812 I don't think he's here, Holmes. 841 00:44:06,521 --> 00:44:08,315 Hello! 842 00:44:08,398 --> 00:44:10,358 Sherlock Holmes. 843 00:44:11,818 --> 00:44:13,737 You must be Gustav Klinger. 844 00:44:13,820 --> 00:44:16,824 The one-armed tattoo artist of Dorset Street. 845 00:44:16,907 --> 00:44:18,158 Looks like it. 846 00:44:20,619 --> 00:44:24,081 Gustav Klinger, I accuse you of poisoning Jimmy Gruber 847 00:44:24,164 --> 00:44:26,417 and baking him into a large cake. 848 00:44:26,500 --> 00:44:30,753 A deliciously large cake that I baked myself. 849 00:44:30,838 --> 00:44:32,423 Oh, please. 850 00:44:32,672 --> 00:44:34,006 How dare you? 851 00:44:34,090 --> 00:44:36,426 You did not bake that cake. 852 00:44:36,510 --> 00:44:39,096 Not only did I bake it, I decorated it, too. 853 00:44:39,179 --> 00:44:41,347 - Impossible. - It's got a frosting attachment. 854 00:44:41,431 --> 00:44:43,766 You're trying to tell me that a one-armed man 855 00:44:43,851 --> 00:44:46,894 made a professional, bakery-quality cake fit for the Queen. 856 00:44:46,978 --> 00:44:49,480 - It's just... It... - Watson, it doesn't matter 857 00:44:49,565 --> 00:44:51,525 - if he baked the cake or not. - It really bugs... I know. 858 00:44:51,608 --> 00:44:52,985 - It really... - Best cake I've ever eaten. 859 00:44:53,068 --> 00:44:54,194 I did bake the cake. 860 00:44:54,277 --> 00:44:56,362 All right, fine. You "baked the cake." 861 00:44:56,447 --> 00:44:58,782 I didn't "bake a cake." 862 00:44:59,407 --> 00:45:00,784 I baked a cake. 863 00:45:00,867 --> 00:45:02,244 Then you admit it. 864 00:45:02,411 --> 00:45:04,037 You killed Jimmy Gruber. 865 00:45:04,121 --> 00:45:05,956 And what if I did, Mr. Holmes? 866 00:45:06,123 --> 00:45:09,333 It's not as if you're in a position to do anything about it. 867 00:45:09,418 --> 00:45:11,336 He's right, Sherlock Holmes. 868 00:45:12,503 --> 00:45:15,382 You've walked straight into our trap. 869 00:45:16,007 --> 00:45:17,717 - Moriarty. - Quiet, Watson. 870 00:45:18,050 --> 00:45:21,679 In the name of the Queen, I arrest you both. 871 00:45:22,014 --> 00:45:23,849 Come, Sherlock. 872 00:45:24,307 --> 00:45:26,018 You don't think it'll be that easy. 873 00:45:26,184 --> 00:45:28,561 You won't be leaving here alive, Mr. Holmes. 874 00:45:29,313 --> 00:45:33,733 Unless, of course, you fight your way out of the Hexagon. 875 00:45:37,153 --> 00:45:38,405 Where are you pointing? 876 00:45:39,614 --> 00:45:40,615 There. 877 00:45:40,699 --> 00:45:41,992 This way or that way? 878 00:45:42,867 --> 00:45:43,911 There. 879 00:45:44,536 --> 00:45:45,537 The Hexagon. 880 00:45:45,621 --> 00:45:47,831 But I won't fight a one-armed man. 881 00:45:47,914 --> 00:45:49,791 No. I've got this, Sherlock. 882 00:45:50,626 --> 00:45:52,920 It won't be the first time I've fought a cripple. 883 00:45:54,670 --> 00:45:56,130 You won't be fighting me. 884 00:45:56,215 --> 00:45:57,966 No, no, no. 885 00:45:58,257 --> 00:45:59,675 You're fighting my mate. 886 00:46:00,177 --> 00:46:01,804 Meet Brawn. 887 00:46:19,987 --> 00:46:20,989 Come on. 888 00:46:22,949 --> 00:46:24,451 I call bullshit. 889 00:46:28,454 --> 00:46:30,623 I fear it might be suicide to fight this man. 890 00:46:30,706 --> 00:46:32,917 I think it's mostly psychological. 891 00:46:36,213 --> 00:46:38,715 I'm psychologically scared shitless right now. 892 00:46:38,882 --> 00:46:41,300 Fight! Fight! Fight! 893 00:46:44,179 --> 00:46:45,681 Okay. Okay. 894 00:46:45,847 --> 00:46:48,851 But if you want to watch this fight, you have to pay. 895 00:46:48,934 --> 00:46:50,519 You have to pay to view it. 896 00:46:50,601 --> 00:46:53,813 This is a pay-to-view-it fight. 897 00:46:53,896 --> 00:46:55,690 Yes, I know it seems a bit unfair, 898 00:46:55,773 --> 00:46:59,277 but if you split it among a few friends and buy some beers, some pizza, 899 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,279 it could be a fun thing to do with the guys. 900 00:47:01,822 --> 00:47:06,117 It's time! 901 00:47:06,452 --> 00:47:09,538 Let's get ready to scuffle! 902 00:47:11,039 --> 00:47:12,166 Scuffle! 903 00:47:13,791 --> 00:47:15,793 - Nice! - What is she doing here? 904 00:47:15,878 --> 00:47:17,129 It's 6:00 in the morning. 905 00:47:17,545 --> 00:47:18,838 Holmes, I don't know why... 906 00:47:18,922 --> 00:47:20,632 - Yes. - ...but that really jacked me up. 907 00:47:21,382 --> 00:47:22,884 I think I might stand a chance. 908 00:47:22,967 --> 00:47:24,761 It reminds me of Istanbul. 909 00:47:24,844 --> 00:47:27,180 Exactly. And what did I beat in Istanbul? 910 00:47:27,264 --> 00:47:29,349 - Syphilis! - Syphilis! Exactly. 911 00:47:29,432 --> 00:47:30,893 - Go get him. - All right. 912 00:47:31,393 --> 00:47:32,394 Come on! 913 00:47:32,478 --> 00:47:33,854 Come on? You come on. 914 00:47:33,936 --> 00:47:35,271 You! 915 00:47:35,355 --> 00:47:36,981 You mountain of flesh. 916 00:47:45,740 --> 00:47:47,826 Your turn, Mr. Holmes! 917 00:47:48,202 --> 00:47:50,621 Yes, I know. Of course I'm next. 918 00:47:55,541 --> 00:47:57,460 Opponent, 350 pounds. 919 00:47:58,045 --> 00:47:59,338 Use pipe. 920 00:47:59,505 --> 00:48:02,132 Create diversion to distract his gaze. 921 00:48:03,967 --> 00:48:05,177 Plan of attack... 922 00:48:05,969 --> 00:48:08,387 Surprise first blow to center of mass, 923 00:48:09,389 --> 00:48:10,932 gracefully dodge counterpunch, 924 00:48:11,934 --> 00:48:13,435 employ visual impairment, 925 00:48:15,061 --> 00:48:16,605 easily duck wild swing, 926 00:48:17,563 --> 00:48:22,402 utilize Tibetan ototoxic method to disrupt his balance. 927 00:48:24,028 --> 00:48:25,447 Grab facial hair. 928 00:48:25,530 --> 00:48:26,989 Use for leverage. 929 00:48:27,074 --> 00:48:28,826 Okinawan beard flip. 930 00:48:31,536 --> 00:48:33,038 Enemy incapacitated. 931 00:48:34,164 --> 00:48:35,416 Catch pipe. 932 00:48:36,208 --> 00:48:38,751 Revel in crowd's adulation. 933 00:48:53,809 --> 00:48:54,810 Oh, no. 934 00:48:58,480 --> 00:48:59,481 Good show, Watson. 935 00:48:59,565 --> 00:49:00,691 Thank you, Holmes. 936 00:49:02,735 --> 00:49:03,818 Break his pelvis. 937 00:49:04,777 --> 00:49:06,237 Go! Again! 938 00:49:07,072 --> 00:49:08,824 Club him like a baby seal. 939 00:49:14,246 --> 00:49:15,956 - What have I done? - No, you're fine. 940 00:49:16,414 --> 00:49:18,041 - Yeah... - Now... 941 00:49:18,125 --> 00:49:21,043 Tell us everything you know about the plot to kill the Queen. 942 00:49:22,336 --> 00:49:23,422 All right. 943 00:49:23,505 --> 00:49:24,506 I'll tell you everything I know. 944 00:49:27,384 --> 00:49:28,760 I've been stabbed in the back. 945 00:49:31,472 --> 00:49:32,723 Meaning? 946 00:49:32,806 --> 00:49:34,474 Metaphorically speaking, yes. 947 00:49:34,557 --> 00:49:36,351 No, I've literally been stabbed in the back... 948 00:49:39,771 --> 00:49:41,230 Holmes, he's escaping! 949 00:49:50,407 --> 00:49:52,659 - So, Moriarty is in England. - Watson. 950 00:49:52,742 --> 00:49:54,702 Does it look like Moriarty... 951 00:49:54,952 --> 00:49:56,663 Now? 952 00:49:56,829 --> 00:49:58,164 Who is this? 953 00:49:58,289 --> 00:49:59,583 Jacob Musgrave. 954 00:50:00,083 --> 00:50:02,168 As I've been saying all along. 955 00:50:02,335 --> 00:50:07,256 A man who looks so much like Moriarty, a simple beard fooled almost everyone. 956 00:50:07,340 --> 00:50:08,800 All right, I admit it. 957 00:50:08,884 --> 00:50:09,927 I am no Moriarty. 958 00:50:10,927 --> 00:50:14,013 My name is Musgrave, just like he says. 959 00:50:15,349 --> 00:50:16,517 Who put you up to this? 960 00:50:16,682 --> 00:50:19,561 They've been leaving me notes telling me what to do. 961 00:50:20,813 --> 00:50:21,855 I don't know who it is. 962 00:50:21,938 --> 00:50:24,315 I swear, I'm just a simple wanker. 963 00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:25,858 He's telling the truth, Watson. 964 00:50:26,193 --> 00:50:28,028 This morally deficient creature, 965 00:50:28,737 --> 00:50:31,824 this awful excuse for a man. 966 00:50:31,907 --> 00:50:34,660 - This bag of rubbish. - Yes, good one, Watson. Yes. 967 00:50:34,742 --> 00:50:36,536 Come on, guys, I'm dying. 968 00:50:36,702 --> 00:50:39,248 These are the wages of wanking, you see? 969 00:50:39,331 --> 00:50:40,833 - Wait. - What? 970 00:50:40,916 --> 00:50:43,293 - Just a... - Don't wank on us. 971 00:50:45,295 --> 00:50:46,797 A coal. 972 00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,675 Said you were to take it to Newcastle. 973 00:50:51,260 --> 00:50:53,178 - A lump of coal? - Yeah. 974 00:50:53,429 --> 00:50:54,762 To Newcastle? 975 00:50:54,847 --> 00:50:56,557 Newcastle by the river? 976 00:50:56,722 --> 00:50:59,684 Perhaps this clue will lead us to the real mastermind. 977 00:50:59,768 --> 00:51:00,811 Time is running out. 978 00:51:00,893 --> 00:51:02,270 We must save the Queen. 979 00:51:02,353 --> 00:51:03,355 Good luck to you. 980 00:51:25,418 --> 00:51:28,004 Bring these coals to Newcastle. 981 00:51:28,672 --> 00:51:30,132 Coals. 982 00:51:30,715 --> 00:51:32,759 Coals. "Sherlock." 983 00:51:32,842 --> 00:51:35,678 "Three days until I rewrite history and kill the Queen." 984 00:51:35,762 --> 00:51:37,306 Millicent is the subject of my research. 985 00:51:37,389 --> 00:51:38,724 Coals to Newcastle. 986 00:51:38,806 --> 00:51:41,392 Talking to you is as if our brains are sharing a tandem bicycle. 987 00:51:41,476 --> 00:51:42,685 She has the mental capacity of... 988 00:51:42,769 --> 00:51:46,606 - Now you have but three days... - Bring these coals to Newcastle. 989 00:51:46,898 --> 00:51:49,692 Who's the co-detective Sherlock and me 990 00:51:51,110 --> 00:51:52,737 Good morning, Sherlock. 991 00:51:52,987 --> 00:51:53,989 What's happened? 992 00:51:54,072 --> 00:51:56,949 Well, I'm trying to untangle this baffling clue. 993 00:51:58,367 --> 00:52:00,703 Ever since I met Millie, my mind is muddled. 994 00:52:00,788 --> 00:52:04,458 Do you suppose she's infected me with some sort of a disease? 995 00:52:04,625 --> 00:52:05,708 Disease? 996 00:52:05,793 --> 00:52:07,461 My heart races. 997 00:52:07,543 --> 00:52:09,045 My palms sweat. 998 00:52:09,128 --> 00:52:10,630 I have all these feelings. 999 00:52:10,713 --> 00:52:13,467 Holmes, get a hold of yourself. You're not sick. 1000 00:52:14,885 --> 00:52:15,886 You're in love. 1001 00:52:15,969 --> 00:52:17,804 Love? Horseradish! 1002 00:52:17,887 --> 00:52:19,014 I'm a man of logic. 1003 00:52:19,097 --> 00:52:20,516 There's nothing to be ashamed of. 1004 00:52:20,599 --> 00:52:25,019 In fact, I, too, have been taken by this malady called love. 1005 00:52:25,686 --> 00:52:28,523 Grace has asked me to call upon her. 1006 00:52:28,773 --> 00:52:30,233 Apparently, 1007 00:52:30,567 --> 00:52:33,487 I sent her quite the charming telegram last night. 1008 00:52:35,072 --> 00:52:36,323 Watson, you've cracked it. 1009 00:52:36,572 --> 00:52:38,157 Have I? Co-detective? 1010 00:52:38,242 --> 00:52:39,660 Think, Watson. 1011 00:52:39,742 --> 00:52:43,079 Is there a single logical reason for Grace to want to seek your company? 1012 00:52:43,496 --> 00:52:44,705 Romantic interest? 1013 00:52:45,248 --> 00:52:46,833 - No. - My eyes? 1014 00:52:46,916 --> 00:52:48,043 It's all a ruse. 1015 00:52:48,126 --> 00:52:50,128 Moriarty escapes to America, 1016 00:52:50,211 --> 00:52:52,713 and then these two American women show up? 1017 00:52:53,090 --> 00:52:56,844 Sorry, you're saying Grace is the killer? 1018 00:52:56,927 --> 00:52:58,345 Of course she's not the killer. 1019 00:52:58,429 --> 00:53:01,014 She's an American. She would've used a gun. 1020 00:53:01,097 --> 00:53:02,391 Yes. 1021 00:53:02,474 --> 00:53:05,144 No, Grace is working for the killer. 1022 00:53:06,519 --> 00:53:10,315 We shall seduce her, and that will lead us to the murderer. 1023 00:53:11,525 --> 00:53:12,693 Yes. 1024 00:53:12,775 --> 00:53:15,903 Well, we best get you cleaned up and dressed, then, hey? 1025 00:53:15,987 --> 00:53:16,989 Thank you, Watson. 1026 00:53:17,072 --> 00:53:18,073 - All right. - Yes. 1027 00:53:19,490 --> 00:53:20,826 You're still here. 1028 00:53:20,909 --> 00:53:24,371 Hudson, what are you doing in my room again? 1029 00:53:24,454 --> 00:53:27,039 I told you, I will clean it from now on. 1030 00:53:27,123 --> 00:53:28,541 You have your own room. 1031 00:53:28,625 --> 00:53:29,626 Under the stairs. 1032 00:53:29,710 --> 00:53:31,503 Out! 1033 00:53:31,753 --> 00:53:32,755 Come along. 1034 00:53:33,505 --> 00:53:34,882 You've soiled it enough! 1035 00:53:38,217 --> 00:53:39,886 Good God. 1036 00:53:40,471 --> 00:53:42,972 Harry Houdini and Albert Einstein. Really? 1037 00:53:43,139 --> 00:53:45,893 What kind of three-backed beast is this? 1038 00:53:45,976 --> 00:53:47,352 There's sometimes more. 1039 00:53:47,436 --> 00:53:49,896 I pray in there. That room is a sanctuary. 1040 00:53:49,980 --> 00:53:51,731 I know. 1041 00:53:52,315 --> 00:53:54,442 If you only knew the things I've done in that bed. 1042 00:53:54,525 --> 00:53:56,235 I would just get rid of it if I was you. 1043 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,447 Why are you bringing all of these men in here? 1044 00:53:58,530 --> 00:54:00,115 Stick to your broomstick. 1045 00:54:01,199 --> 00:54:02,576 Go on. In we get. 1046 00:54:02,659 --> 00:54:05,496 Move it! You got a job to finish. 1047 00:54:08,916 --> 00:54:10,417 Who could that be at this early hour? 1048 00:54:11,293 --> 00:54:12,294 Enter. 1049 00:54:18,175 --> 00:54:19,259 Her Majesty! 1050 00:54:21,344 --> 00:54:23,930 Have you come to see me? 1051 00:54:24,639 --> 00:54:27,391 Mr. Holmes, I have but two days left to live 1052 00:54:27,476 --> 00:54:29,644 unless you can solve this case. 1053 00:54:30,394 --> 00:54:32,688 My Queen, do come in. 1054 00:54:33,481 --> 00:54:36,275 I shall speak with Mr. Holmes in private. 1055 00:54:38,487 --> 00:54:39,570 Your Majesty. 1056 00:54:40,405 --> 00:54:41,489 You'll be happy to know 1057 00:54:41,572 --> 00:54:44,951 that just this morning we discovered a new clue. 1058 00:54:45,034 --> 00:54:46,286 This chunk of coal. 1059 00:54:46,369 --> 00:54:48,204 What does it mean? 1060 00:54:48,288 --> 00:54:49,873 It's quite a mystery. 1061 00:54:51,625 --> 00:54:53,168 Is this going to be a problem? 1062 00:54:53,251 --> 00:54:54,503 Watson. 1063 00:54:54,585 --> 00:54:56,921 Perhaps the Queen would enjoy some tea. 1064 00:54:57,005 --> 00:54:58,507 Yes, of course. 1065 00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:03,262 Mr. Holmes, the empire is depending on you. 1066 00:55:03,344 --> 00:55:07,014 Your Majesty, I now suspect two American women 1067 00:55:07,099 --> 00:55:08,976 are somehow involved in this plot. 1068 00:55:10,184 --> 00:55:12,813 Sorry. Your Majesty, 1069 00:55:13,605 --> 00:55:16,733 do you think I could have a picture of us together? 1070 00:55:16,817 --> 00:55:18,818 But, who is going to take the photograph? 1071 00:55:18,902 --> 00:55:20,820 No, I'll take the photograph. 1072 00:55:20,903 --> 00:55:23,449 You see, it's a type of a self-photograph. 1073 00:55:23,532 --> 00:55:25,534 I can take it, and I will be in it also. 1074 00:55:25,617 --> 00:55:28,579 You know what, I find, to take the most attractive photographs, 1075 00:55:28,661 --> 00:55:32,415 you need to purse your lips together like a duck-billed platypus. 1076 00:55:32,708 --> 00:55:34,626 Platypus face. Chins up. 1077 00:55:36,670 --> 00:55:39,047 - Hey. - Hey, girl. 1078 00:55:39,130 --> 00:55:40,840 Maybe over by the window. 1079 00:55:40,923 --> 00:55:42,842 - The lighting's much better there. - Yes, capital idea. 1080 00:55:44,510 --> 00:55:47,306 Oh, God. Ma'am? 1081 00:55:47,389 --> 00:55:48,599 Your Majesty. 1082 00:55:48,681 --> 00:55:50,349 Ma'am? 1083 00:55:50,434 --> 00:55:51,685 Oh, dear. 1084 00:55:53,103 --> 00:55:54,813 Tell me, Watson. 1085 00:55:55,813 --> 00:55:57,273 She's dead. 1086 00:55:58,608 --> 00:55:59,942 Dear God. 1087 00:56:02,362 --> 00:56:04,364 We've killed the Queen. 1088 00:56:04,447 --> 00:56:05,949 Are you all right, Your Majesty? 1089 00:56:06,492 --> 00:56:07,659 Yes. 1090 00:56:07,742 --> 00:56:09,702 - Yes, I'm all right. - Are you sure? 1091 00:56:09,786 --> 00:56:11,079 Yes, I'm quite fine. 1092 00:56:11,163 --> 00:56:14,333 My lover John Watson will take good care of me. 1093 00:56:16,293 --> 00:56:18,378 Why did you want that photograph? 1094 00:56:18,461 --> 00:56:20,672 I didn't want the photograph. 1095 00:56:20,755 --> 00:56:22,757 What are you talking about? 1096 00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:24,717 Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson? 1097 00:56:24,802 --> 00:56:26,678 I'm very safe. 1098 00:56:26,762 --> 00:56:29,347 - She's so dead. - She's so dead. 1099 00:56:29,431 --> 00:56:30,724 I know. Okay. 1100 00:56:30,807 --> 00:56:32,141 We'll shove her down the toilet 1101 00:56:32,226 --> 00:56:34,519 as if she was never here, and we'll deny ever seeing her. 1102 00:56:34,603 --> 00:56:35,938 Right. Excellent. 1103 00:56:36,021 --> 00:56:37,439 Come on. Come up. 1104 00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,275 Here we are. Into the bathroom. 1105 00:56:43,237 --> 00:56:44,613 Mr. Holmes! Dr. Watson! 1106 00:56:44,695 --> 00:56:45,989 What was the big bang? 1107 00:56:46,072 --> 00:56:47,615 We must buy some time. 1108 00:56:47,699 --> 00:56:48,700 - Right. - Let's get her to the door. 1109 00:56:48,784 --> 00:56:49,910 - Open this door! - Wait. 1110 00:56:50,577 --> 00:56:52,037 Hello. What do you want? 1111 00:56:52,121 --> 00:56:53,664 Ma'am, are you all right? 1112 00:56:53,746 --> 00:56:55,873 Yes, of course I'm fine. Can't you see? 1113 00:56:55,958 --> 00:56:57,876 - Yes, of course, Ma'am. I'm so sorry. - We've got it from here, boys. 1114 00:56:57,960 --> 00:56:59,043 - Thank you. - We're good. 1115 00:56:59,128 --> 00:57:00,129 Yes, sir. 1116 00:57:01,255 --> 00:57:02,297 - The trunk. - Yes. 1117 00:57:02,380 --> 00:57:04,007 Yes, we'll mail her to Africa. 1118 00:57:05,592 --> 00:57:06,927 Come on, Ma'am. Sorry. 1119 00:57:07,010 --> 00:57:08,095 There we go. 1120 00:57:08,177 --> 00:57:09,512 Stuff her in there. 1121 00:57:09,596 --> 00:57:11,056 Really thrust. 1122 00:57:11,139 --> 00:57:12,391 Good. 1123 00:57:12,724 --> 00:57:14,434 Good. 1124 00:57:14,518 --> 00:57:15,601 Hold on, Watson. 1125 00:57:15,686 --> 00:57:17,604 Come on, boys. Open the door! 1126 00:57:18,563 --> 00:57:20,356 Mr. Holmes! Dr. Watson! 1127 00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:22,525 One, two, three. Watch your fingers. 1128 00:57:23,860 --> 00:57:25,194 Open this door immediately! 1129 00:57:25,612 --> 00:57:26,864 This is bad. 1130 00:57:26,947 --> 00:57:28,615 You know what we must do. 1131 00:57:29,782 --> 00:57:31,034 Grab your toolbox. 1132 00:57:31,117 --> 00:57:33,286 Let me in! I'm breaking down the door! 1133 00:57:35,664 --> 00:57:37,666 - Bone saw. - Bone saw. 1134 00:57:37,750 --> 00:57:38,958 - Oh, God. - Come on. Push! Come on, together! 1135 00:57:39,041 --> 00:57:40,210 Watson. 1136 00:57:40,293 --> 00:57:42,920 - Toilet-sized chunks. - Put your back into it! 1137 00:57:46,759 --> 00:57:48,010 Good God! 1138 00:57:48,092 --> 00:57:49,510 What have you done? 1139 00:57:51,179 --> 00:57:52,847 Platypus lips. 1140 00:57:59,813 --> 00:58:03,483 Can you send me a copy of the self-photograph? 1141 00:58:04,693 --> 00:58:05,694 Absolutely. 1142 00:58:05,777 --> 00:58:11,532 It will arrive at the Palace in about a week. 1143 00:58:12,617 --> 00:58:13,826 Gentlemen... 1144 00:58:13,911 --> 00:58:17,371 You have two days to stop this killer. 1145 00:58:17,456 --> 00:58:18,707 Yes, Ma'am. 1146 00:58:20,083 --> 00:58:21,375 God save the Queen. 1147 00:58:26,215 --> 00:58:28,092 What a perfect day for a picnic 1148 00:58:28,175 --> 00:58:32,346 at London's greatest spectacle, the Anglo-American Exhibition. 1149 00:58:32,429 --> 00:58:34,222 A celebration of that special relationship 1150 00:58:34,306 --> 00:58:35,974 between our nation and yours. 1151 00:58:36,057 --> 00:58:40,269 Yes, such a special relationship between these two nations. 1152 00:58:40,353 --> 00:58:41,771 Although, I could 1153 00:58:41,855 --> 00:58:45,150 never live in a country with an unelected ruler like the Queen. 1154 00:58:46,068 --> 00:58:47,194 Why ever not? 1155 00:58:47,568 --> 00:58:49,612 In America, we have democracy. 1156 00:58:49,695 --> 00:58:52,824 Our president is a person our people have all chosen. 1157 00:58:53,992 --> 00:58:57,996 An assurance that only the finest and most qualified man will lead. 1158 00:58:58,079 --> 00:59:01,875 Not a wealthy tyrant who cares for nothing but himself. 1159 00:59:01,958 --> 00:59:03,501 But you have the electoral college, 1160 00:59:03,585 --> 00:59:04,920 which surely will prevent 1161 00:59:05,003 --> 00:59:07,381 some trumped-up charlatan from gaining power. 1162 00:59:07,463 --> 00:59:09,048 Not always, unfortunately. 1163 00:59:09,132 --> 00:59:10,842 It would be great to have a strong businessman. 1164 00:59:10,925 --> 00:59:12,594 But a showman as well. 1165 00:59:12,677 --> 00:59:14,221 I love a good show. 1166 00:59:14,304 --> 00:59:15,597 America. 1167 00:59:16,431 --> 00:59:19,267 We gave you your freedom, and now look what you've done with it. 1168 00:59:19,351 --> 00:59:21,353 London's spectacle... 1169 00:59:21,436 --> 00:59:24,480 And the hall of wondrous displays. 1170 00:59:24,565 --> 00:59:25,691 The White House... 1171 00:59:26,775 --> 00:59:28,568 Live till you're 50. 1172 00:59:28,860 --> 00:59:31,654 Baby nerve tonic, now with more ether. 1173 00:59:32,697 --> 00:59:35,366 Be calm and focused with cigarettes. 1174 00:59:36,869 --> 00:59:39,704 Phone! See the telly-phone. 1175 00:59:39,788 --> 00:59:40,831 Can I try that? 1176 00:59:40,914 --> 00:59:43,125 Anglo-American Exhibition. 1177 00:59:44,001 --> 00:59:45,294 Remember, Watson. 1178 00:59:45,376 --> 00:59:48,297 Relax them with small talk, then begin the seduction. 1179 00:59:49,255 --> 00:59:52,259 I must say, she doesn't look like she could be an accessory to murder. 1180 00:59:54,177 --> 00:59:56,596 Well, looks can be deceiving. 1181 00:59:57,847 --> 01:00:00,016 Remember, we're here to seduce. 1182 01:00:00,559 --> 01:00:04,813 These physical displays of strength will enchant them. 1183 01:00:09,193 --> 01:00:12,237 - I could use a bit of cocaine. - Did you bring a vial with you? 1184 01:00:16,157 --> 01:00:17,492 Very good. 1185 01:00:25,751 --> 01:00:27,920 - Are you all right? - I'm exhausted. 1186 01:00:28,461 --> 01:00:33,467 There is one test I can employ to prove she truly is who she says she is. 1187 01:00:33,550 --> 01:00:34,885 Do it, Holmes. 1188 01:00:34,967 --> 01:00:37,261 Employ your last test. I simply must know. 1189 01:00:40,181 --> 01:00:41,182 Help! 1190 01:00:41,266 --> 01:00:42,934 - John? - This man has been taken ill. 1191 01:00:43,018 --> 01:00:44,061 What? 1192 01:00:46,396 --> 01:00:48,731 - Let me see. - If only there were a doctor present. 1193 01:00:49,690 --> 01:00:52,860 Clearly, he's had a severe blow to his occipital bone. 1194 01:00:52,945 --> 01:00:53,946 He's concussed. 1195 01:00:54,028 --> 01:00:56,322 - And I am a doctor. - A doctor? 1196 01:00:56,407 --> 01:00:59,117 A woman doctor. What times we live in. 1197 01:00:59,701 --> 01:01:01,119 Could it be? 1198 01:01:01,744 --> 01:01:04,205 Is Grace truly a doctor? 1199 01:01:04,289 --> 01:01:06,708 Are her feelings of affection genuine? 1200 01:01:06,791 --> 01:01:08,835 Then she's innocent. 1201 01:01:08,918 --> 01:01:11,629 Watson, get up. We need to go see my brother. 1202 01:01:11,713 --> 01:01:13,590 I love you, Grace. 1203 01:01:16,175 --> 01:01:18,719 The legendary Diogenes Men's Club. 1204 01:01:18,804 --> 01:01:20,764 Home of London's most awkward gentlemen 1205 01:01:21,097 --> 01:01:22,724 and my brother. 1206 01:01:24,059 --> 01:01:25,144 Holmes. 1207 01:01:25,226 --> 01:01:26,811 I can't believe you have a brother. 1208 01:01:26,894 --> 01:01:29,063 Yes, but we're nothing alike. 1209 01:01:29,148 --> 01:01:30,606 He's an arrogant man 1210 01:01:30,690 --> 01:01:32,483 who never appreciates the people around him. 1211 01:01:33,277 --> 01:01:34,695 Follow me. Here. 1212 01:01:39,365 --> 01:01:41,034 Well, well, well... 1213 01:01:43,244 --> 01:01:45,748 So, you are finally seeking your brother's help. 1214 01:01:46,623 --> 01:01:48,625 Say, I'm not surprised. 1215 01:01:48,708 --> 01:01:51,294 And this vague assembly of limbs and fatty tissue, 1216 01:01:51,378 --> 01:01:53,130 I assume is Dr. Watson. 1217 01:02:07,436 --> 01:02:08,896 So, shall I get us started? 1218 01:02:11,940 --> 01:02:13,567 Watson, please. 1219 01:02:13,650 --> 01:02:15,568 We're in the middle of a conversation. 1220 01:02:15,652 --> 01:02:16,695 Can't you see? 1221 01:02:16,778 --> 01:02:20,574 When the two most brilliant minds in all of England have a fraternal bond, 1222 01:02:20,657 --> 01:02:22,992 words are an inefficiency. 1223 01:02:23,077 --> 01:02:24,411 We communicate without words, 1224 01:02:24,494 --> 01:02:27,705 silently, from giant brain to gianter brain. 1225 01:02:27,789 --> 01:02:28,791 Of course. 1226 01:02:29,708 --> 01:02:31,793 I'll join in as I see fit. 1227 01:02:35,463 --> 01:02:38,467 I can spare a few minutes to solve your little mystery 1228 01:02:38,550 --> 01:02:40,885 and help quench your thirst for public adulation. 1229 01:02:41,512 --> 01:02:43,555 My thirst is for logic. 1230 01:02:43,639 --> 01:02:45,641 I don't care what the public thinks 1231 01:02:45,724 --> 01:02:48,936 of London's best-loved detective, Sherlock Holmes. 1232 01:02:49,018 --> 01:02:50,269 Thoughts. 1233 01:02:51,105 --> 01:02:54,065 Me-me talky. 1234 01:02:54,148 --> 01:02:55,942 You find killer. 1235 01:02:56,025 --> 01:02:58,903 Me-me talky? We find killer? 1236 01:02:58,987 --> 01:03:01,532 Watson, what are you trying to do? 1237 01:03:01,614 --> 01:03:02,990 Trying to brain-speak. 1238 01:03:03,074 --> 01:03:04,451 You're going to hurt yourself. 1239 01:03:05,327 --> 01:03:06,370 Sorry. 1240 01:03:07,079 --> 01:03:09,373 Perhaps the gentleman would be more comfortable 1241 01:03:09,456 --> 01:03:11,959 in the companions' chamber. 1242 01:03:12,458 --> 01:03:15,670 Perhaps, or perhaps I'd be comfortable here by the fire. 1243 01:03:16,170 --> 01:03:18,589 - In the companions' chamber, sir. - Yes, fine. Of course. 1244 01:03:18,673 --> 01:03:20,550 Great idea. Yeah, capital idea. 1245 01:03:20,634 --> 01:03:22,302 - I'll be in the companions' room. - Yes. 1246 01:03:22,385 --> 01:03:25,264 The equal companions' room, should you need me. 1247 01:03:25,347 --> 01:03:26,598 It's just here. 1248 01:03:31,353 --> 01:03:33,730 Please enjoy the company of your fellow companions. 1249 01:03:34,063 --> 01:03:35,398 I see. 1250 01:03:36,275 --> 01:03:39,360 Balloons are happy, but they're not alive. 1251 01:03:40,862 --> 01:03:41,989 Fair enough. 1252 01:03:47,202 --> 01:03:50,956 Who is this brilliant nemesis capable of besting me? 1253 01:03:51,206 --> 01:03:54,626 If your nemesis were truly smarter than you, 1254 01:03:54,710 --> 01:03:56,043 it could only be me. 1255 01:03:56,503 --> 01:03:58,797 And as I am not the killer, one must conclude 1256 01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:02,341 that the killer did not, nor could not, outwit you. 1257 01:04:02,425 --> 01:04:05,429 If the killer is my intellectual inferior, 1258 01:04:05,512 --> 01:04:07,472 how has he predicted my every move? 1259 01:04:07,556 --> 01:04:09,099 The killer did not predict your actions. 1260 01:04:09,182 --> 01:04:12,936 Our murderer is a student of yours, someone in your proximity. 1261 01:04:13,019 --> 01:04:15,313 Someone who could observe you undetected. 1262 01:04:15,396 --> 01:04:18,107 Someone who knows you better than anyone. 1263 01:04:18,192 --> 01:04:19,485 His mind radiates wisdom. 1264 01:04:19,568 --> 01:04:21,195 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 1265 01:04:24,739 --> 01:04:27,658 I'm dying from anticipation. What did your brother tell you, Holmes? 1266 01:04:27,742 --> 01:04:29,327 I believe I've cracked the case. 1267 01:04:29,411 --> 01:04:32,039 It was in front of me the whole time, my dear Watson. 1268 01:04:32,121 --> 01:04:33,664 Do share. 1269 01:04:33,748 --> 01:04:35,917 And ruin the suspense? 1270 01:04:36,001 --> 01:04:38,295 I just thought, since I worked the case with you... 1271 01:04:38,378 --> 01:04:39,546 And we're here. 1272 01:04:42,715 --> 01:04:43,759 Now... 1273 01:04:43,842 --> 01:04:47,596 You're all wondering why I gathered you here today. 1274 01:04:47,679 --> 01:04:50,516 Prepare yourself to be astonished. 1275 01:04:51,182 --> 01:04:54,603 The killer could only be a man who knew my actions at every turn. 1276 01:04:55,353 --> 01:04:58,356 Who was present at every murder? 1277 01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:01,776 Who knows me better than anyone? 1278 01:05:01,860 --> 01:05:04,780 It was you who arranged my birthday party 1279 01:05:04,862 --> 01:05:07,657 and the cake which contained the first victim, 1280 01:05:07,740 --> 01:05:11,286 initiating the events leading us to today. 1281 01:05:11,369 --> 01:05:13,996 Dr. Watson is the killer. 1282 01:05:17,626 --> 01:05:22,089 By studying my methods, you created a fake crime only you could solve. 1283 01:05:22,172 --> 01:05:27,344 Why? I was to be so impressed that I would crown him co-detective. 1284 01:05:27,427 --> 01:05:32,391 He wanted to rewrite history by becoming my partner. 1285 01:05:35,893 --> 01:05:38,771 Okay. Now the part about how I could never have done it 1286 01:05:38,856 --> 01:05:41,150 and on to the surprising real killer. 1287 01:05:41,233 --> 01:05:42,776 I wonder who it's going to be. 1288 01:05:42,860 --> 01:05:45,028 When one eliminates the impossible, 1289 01:05:45,112 --> 01:05:49,115 whatever remains, however improbable, is the truth. 1290 01:05:50,409 --> 01:05:52,369 But this is absurd. 1291 01:05:53,119 --> 01:05:56,539 - Holmes, you must know in your heart... - The heart is for pumping blood. 1292 01:05:56,623 --> 01:05:59,293 The truth is the truth! 1293 01:05:59,376 --> 01:06:01,003 Truth... 1294 01:06:01,628 --> 01:06:04,631 Is that I have devoted my life to you. 1295 01:06:05,382 --> 01:06:06,717 And I was a fool to think 1296 01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:08,844 you would ever consider me as a co-detective 1297 01:06:08,927 --> 01:06:12,306 when you're incapable of thinking of me even as a friend! 1298 01:06:14,349 --> 01:06:17,311 Inspector Lestrade, take him. Go on. 1299 01:06:17,393 --> 01:06:19,228 But the man is your closest friend. 1300 01:06:19,313 --> 01:06:21,231 Your pursuit of Moriarty has failed. 1301 01:06:21,315 --> 01:06:23,150 You have no suspects. 1302 01:06:23,233 --> 01:06:25,736 The killer still threatens to kill the Queen. 1303 01:06:25,818 --> 01:06:28,112 Is that a chance you're willing to take? 1304 01:06:28,739 --> 01:06:30,449 - Take him. - What? 1305 01:06:33,744 --> 01:06:35,954 Do you see his propensity for violence? 1306 01:06:36,038 --> 01:06:37,789 - Do you still doubt me? - Calm down. 1307 01:06:38,706 --> 01:06:44,128 I shall never again carry your blasted magnifying glasses. 1308 01:06:44,213 --> 01:06:45,923 Or your jars of urine. 1309 01:06:46,757 --> 01:06:48,592 Why are we even saving these? 1310 01:06:49,259 --> 01:06:52,471 And you look stupid in that hat. 1311 01:06:53,137 --> 01:06:56,266 Your head was not meant for hats. 1312 01:06:58,351 --> 01:07:00,186 Unhand me! No! 1313 01:07:00,478 --> 01:07:02,188 I'll never forget you, John. 1314 01:07:04,690 --> 01:07:05,858 Why? 1315 01:07:05,943 --> 01:07:10,114 John Watson devoted his life to you, and this is how you repay him? 1316 01:07:10,197 --> 01:07:13,992 Back to America with your ham-dogs and hot-burgers. 1317 01:07:14,076 --> 01:07:16,202 At least in America, our system's fair. 1318 01:07:16,869 --> 01:07:20,289 No citizen can be found guilty till his case is heard 1319 01:07:20,373 --> 01:07:23,084 by a jury of white property-owning men. 1320 01:07:24,378 --> 01:07:26,963 Millie, surely you must understand. 1321 01:07:36,056 --> 01:07:37,891 Fine, go. 1322 01:07:37,974 --> 01:07:40,726 I'm the greatest detective who ever lived. 1323 01:07:40,811 --> 01:07:43,146 You're welcome for solving this case. 1324 01:07:43,230 --> 01:07:45,565 Sherlock abandons Watson! 1325 01:08:02,081 --> 01:08:04,710 Sherlock, a washed-up loser! 1326 01:08:39,453 --> 01:08:40,788 A tear? 1327 01:08:42,081 --> 01:08:43,957 What is this tear? 1328 01:08:47,586 --> 01:08:49,253 I can't stop it. 1329 01:08:54,842 --> 01:08:57,970 What is this warm feeling in my chest? 1330 01:09:03,894 --> 01:09:07,231 Why am I reeling in confusion? 1331 01:09:08,314 --> 01:09:11,317 What is this fever in my head? 1332 01:09:12,152 --> 01:09:17,908 Is it pox, maybe gout I can't seem to work it out 1333 01:09:17,990 --> 01:09:23,287 And why don't I feel triumphant? 1334 01:09:24,206 --> 01:09:29,962 And why does it seem less than right that Watson's going to hang tonight 1335 01:09:30,045 --> 01:09:34,800 And gasp and thrash and choke until he's dead? 1336 01:09:34,882 --> 01:09:38,595 What is this strange sensation? 1337 01:09:38,679 --> 01:09:41,222 Where did I go wrong? 1338 01:09:41,305 --> 01:09:44,308 Why am I a sobbing, trembling man? 1339 01:09:44,393 --> 01:09:46,436 Soon my neck will snap in half I guess 1340 01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:49,732 And yet I know somehow 1341 01:09:49,898 --> 01:09:53,360 - If he could hear right now - And yet right now 1342 01:09:53,444 --> 01:09:55,487 - I would still forgive him - I would still forgive him 1343 01:09:58,532 --> 01:10:01,577 More or less 1344 01:10:01,993 --> 01:10:04,704 Please, I don't know upon whom else to call 1345 01:10:04,787 --> 01:10:07,582 Nothing is making any sense at all 1346 01:10:07,666 --> 01:10:09,752 Speak! I need your voice 1347 01:10:09,835 --> 01:10:13,713 To hear your voice, so sweet So pure, so wise 1348 01:10:18,761 --> 01:10:25,684 Sometimes the irrational is truer than the rational 1349 01:10:25,768 --> 01:10:29,061 The heart can have its reasons 1350 01:10:29,145 --> 01:10:33,192 Which the head knows nothing of 1351 01:10:33,274 --> 01:10:36,444 Your brain says "Watson's guilty" 1352 01:10:36,569 --> 01:10:40,407 But a stronger force says, "No, he's not!" 1353 01:10:40,490 --> 01:10:42,576 What is that force? 1354 01:10:42,658 --> 01:10:44,368 - It's... - Yes? What? 1355 01:10:44,453 --> 01:10:47,790 - It's love! - Love? 1356 01:10:47,872 --> 01:10:51,751 - It's love! - It's love! 1357 01:10:51,835 --> 01:10:53,712 - It's love! - It's love! 1358 01:10:53,837 --> 01:10:56,090 - It's love! - It's love! 1359 01:10:56,547 --> 01:10:58,257 My God. 1360 01:10:58,341 --> 01:11:02,887 Did I push Watson away because I feared losing him to Grace? 1361 01:11:02,970 --> 01:11:05,098 Somehow I know in my heart... 1362 01:11:06,557 --> 01:11:08,393 Watson is innocent! 1363 01:11:08,476 --> 01:11:12,730 - Come save me now - Time to go and save 1364 01:11:12,814 --> 01:11:18,361 - The man I love - The man I love 1365 01:11:21,489 --> 01:11:22,698 Watson! 1366 01:11:22,783 --> 01:11:26,870 I discovered my emotions, and I'm only 46. 1367 01:11:26,953 --> 01:11:28,788 Hang! 1368 01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:34,461 Oh, God. 1369 01:11:34,545 --> 01:11:36,838 Hang Dr. Watson! 1370 01:11:36,921 --> 01:11:39,048 The dogs seem really unnecessary. 1371 01:11:39,675 --> 01:11:41,135 Sherlock. 1372 01:11:43,679 --> 01:11:44,680 It's you. 1373 01:11:45,389 --> 01:11:46,722 And you've brought cake. 1374 01:11:54,605 --> 01:11:55,815 Watson! 1375 01:11:55,899 --> 01:11:57,025 My brother! 1376 01:11:57,109 --> 01:11:58,694 Watson, where are you? 1377 01:11:58,777 --> 01:12:00,112 Where... 1378 01:12:00,194 --> 01:12:01,863 I'm too late. 1379 01:12:06,702 --> 01:12:07,911 Clever. 1380 01:12:07,994 --> 01:12:11,998 Very, very clever. 1381 01:12:17,712 --> 01:12:22,509 You were always so clever, and I never appreciated it. 1382 01:12:23,342 --> 01:12:25,554 But it's not too late to make amends. 1383 01:12:25,636 --> 01:12:26,889 Watson! 1384 01:12:26,971 --> 01:12:29,224 I shouldn't have wasted all my time singing! 1385 01:12:34,438 --> 01:12:36,230 Grimy news kids. 1386 01:12:36,314 --> 01:12:38,232 I desperately need your help. 1387 01:12:38,317 --> 01:12:40,027 Dr. Watson's in grave danger. 1388 01:12:40,109 --> 01:12:41,737 Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. 1389 01:12:41,819 --> 01:12:43,154 Because of you, you wank! 1390 01:12:43,238 --> 01:12:44,323 I know. 1391 01:12:44,405 --> 01:12:46,033 But I know of a way to save him. 1392 01:12:46,115 --> 01:12:48,368 Please. Please help me. 1393 01:12:48,452 --> 01:12:51,246 I must find a way to the docks immediately. 1394 01:12:54,582 --> 01:12:58,461 "Moriarty's daughter did the one thing Moriarty never could: 1395 01:12:58,545 --> 01:13:03,216 "She defeated Sherlock Holmes and assassinated the Queen. 1396 01:13:03,300 --> 01:13:05,927 "Sherlock Holmes, the man whom I regarded 1397 01:13:06,011 --> 01:13:12,935 "as the best and the wisest man whom I would ever know, was a fraud." 1398 01:13:16,771 --> 01:13:18,189 It is done. 1399 01:13:18,981 --> 01:13:21,819 A devilish plan worthy of your father. 1400 01:13:21,902 --> 01:13:26,698 The last book in the Sherlock Holmes canon is complete. 1401 01:13:26,782 --> 01:13:29,451 "The Case of the Defeated Detective." 1402 01:13:29,534 --> 01:13:32,703 Daddy will be so proud. 1403 01:13:32,787 --> 01:13:34,288 Sherlock will be remembered 1404 01:13:34,372 --> 01:13:37,083 as the man who failed to protect the Queen. 1405 01:13:37,167 --> 01:13:39,211 History shall be rewritten 1406 01:13:39,293 --> 01:13:43,172 at the hand of his loyal Boswell, Dr. Watson. 1407 01:13:43,798 --> 01:13:45,591 I've done your bidding. 1408 01:13:45,676 --> 01:13:46,718 Now set me free. 1409 01:13:47,845 --> 01:13:49,887 You're gonna die here. 1410 01:13:50,346 --> 01:13:51,681 You gave me your word. 1411 01:13:51,765 --> 01:13:53,307 You swore on the life of the Queen. 1412 01:13:53,391 --> 01:13:56,894 I'm gonna kill the Queen, you big eejit. Boys! 1413 01:13:56,979 --> 01:13:59,021 Mrs. Hudson is the killer? 1414 01:13:59,105 --> 01:14:00,314 Gorblimey! 1415 01:14:00,399 --> 01:14:01,900 How'd you work that out? 1416 01:14:01,984 --> 01:14:03,944 Why, it was Watson who told me. 1417 01:14:04,027 --> 01:14:06,363 You see, beet sugar. 1418 01:14:06,697 --> 01:14:09,490 Mrs. Hudson's family recipe and Watson's favorite. 1419 01:14:09,574 --> 01:14:12,786 He never would have left crumbs behind unless he was leaving me a clue. 1420 01:14:12,869 --> 01:14:16,038 For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's origins are not so humble. 1421 01:14:16,122 --> 01:14:20,042 She is none other than the daughter of Professor James Moriarty. 1422 01:14:20,127 --> 01:14:21,420 No, it ain't possible. 1423 01:14:21,502 --> 01:14:24,465 You see, Mrs. Hudson never knew her father. 1424 01:14:25,131 --> 01:14:26,299 He was never present. 1425 01:14:26,382 --> 01:14:29,886 To gain his love, she tried to pull off the greatest crime ever. 1426 01:14:30,220 --> 01:14:33,390 Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes. 1427 01:14:33,474 --> 01:14:36,476 She took a job at my house in order to study my methods, 1428 01:14:36,560 --> 01:14:39,772 then used a network of patsies to execute her plans. 1429 01:14:39,854 --> 01:14:42,774 However, it wasn't until I understood feelings 1430 01:14:42,858 --> 01:14:47,237 that I understood her motive, her need for her father's love. 1431 01:14:47,613 --> 01:14:50,324 She would gain it by eliminating his greatest enemy. 1432 01:14:50,407 --> 01:14:51,742 Me. 1433 01:14:52,201 --> 01:14:56,663 And tonight, she will commit her boldest crime yet, 1434 01:14:56,747 --> 01:15:00,292 killing the Queen here! 1435 01:15:00,375 --> 01:15:04,003 The Titanic. The marvel of London. 1436 01:15:04,087 --> 01:15:08,050 A new castle, which runs on coal. 1437 01:15:08,132 --> 01:15:10,551 Your Majesty, may I introduce Lieutenant Morgan. 1438 01:15:10,927 --> 01:15:11,929 Lieutenant. 1439 01:15:12,470 --> 01:15:13,971 First Officer Carter. 1440 01:15:14,847 --> 01:15:16,891 - Your Majesty. - First Officer. 1441 01:15:17,434 --> 01:15:19,144 Look, Hudson's goons. 1442 01:15:19,770 --> 01:15:20,854 Create a diversion. 1443 01:15:20,938 --> 01:15:23,023 You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes. 1444 01:15:23,106 --> 01:15:24,524 We'll take care of this lot. 1445 01:15:24,608 --> 01:15:26,150 Come on, you tom tit! 1446 01:15:26,234 --> 01:15:28,778 You ain't bigger than a couple of powder monkeys. 1447 01:15:29,822 --> 01:15:31,573 Is there a problem, boys? 1448 01:15:31,698 --> 01:15:33,992 Think we can take them, lads? 1449 01:15:34,076 --> 01:15:36,244 Walk away now, and I promise you won't get hurt. 1450 01:15:36,328 --> 01:15:38,997 A bunch of runts and a couple of ladies? 1451 01:15:39,081 --> 01:15:40,457 American ladies. 1452 01:15:45,295 --> 01:15:46,755 Not my eyes! 1453 01:15:51,342 --> 01:15:53,886 I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson. 1454 01:15:53,970 --> 01:15:56,597 I'm gonna crush your head. 1455 01:15:56,681 --> 01:15:59,809 There's gonna be brains everywhere. 1456 01:15:59,893 --> 01:16:02,104 And I'll not be cleaning up after. 1457 01:16:02,186 --> 01:16:03,521 I know you're threatening me, 1458 01:16:03,604 --> 01:16:05,273 but I can't understand a word you're saying. 1459 01:16:06,233 --> 01:16:08,569 You're staying, Dr. Watson, 1460 01:16:08,652 --> 01:16:12,448 but I'll be on my way to America by the time the bomb explodes. 1461 01:16:12,530 --> 01:16:13,990 Sherlock will save me. 1462 01:16:14,073 --> 01:16:15,992 - You'll see. - I'll see. 1463 01:16:16,076 --> 01:16:17,911 He won't let me down. 1464 01:16:17,994 --> 01:16:19,787 He won't. He's my best friend. 1465 01:16:21,497 --> 01:16:22,832 Dollface! 1466 01:16:27,421 --> 01:16:30,548 Come on, boys. The bomb goes off in ten minutes. 1467 01:16:30,631 --> 01:16:33,844 Sherlock! Sherlock! 1468 01:16:34,802 --> 01:16:36,889 Help! 1469 01:16:36,971 --> 01:16:38,849 Sherlock! 1470 01:16:39,515 --> 01:16:40,725 Help! 1471 01:16:42,019 --> 01:16:43,270 Watson! 1472 01:16:45,605 --> 01:16:49,568 Oh, God, if you save me, I'll never touch myself again. 1473 01:16:49,650 --> 01:16:52,028 - Watson! - Sherlock. 1474 01:16:52,112 --> 01:16:53,614 You've come for me. I knew you would. 1475 01:16:53,697 --> 01:16:55,949 Watson, good news. 1476 01:16:56,033 --> 01:16:57,493 You're innocent. 1477 01:16:58,243 --> 01:16:59,995 Yes. I know. 1478 01:17:00,578 --> 01:17:02,081 Thank you. 1479 01:17:02,247 --> 01:17:03,332 Can you forgive me? 1480 01:17:03,414 --> 01:17:06,710 Of course. Now, be a good chap and get me out of this damn thing 1481 01:17:06,793 --> 01:17:08,252 before it crushes my skull. 1482 01:17:08,337 --> 01:17:10,047 Yes? There's a good chap. Go on. 1483 01:17:10,922 --> 01:17:12,673 I won't leave you. Not again. 1484 01:17:12,757 --> 01:17:14,134 That's a lovely sentiment, 1485 01:17:14,217 --> 01:17:16,845 but I really need you to free me from this gear right now. 1486 01:17:17,345 --> 01:17:19,430 Emotions are spewing from my heart. 1487 01:17:19,806 --> 01:17:21,265 - Pull yourself together. - Okay. 1488 01:17:21,350 --> 01:17:22,392 Stop crying. 1489 01:17:22,475 --> 01:17:24,978 Because we must get the Queen and everyone else off this ship. 1490 01:17:25,061 --> 01:17:26,939 You see, Hudson has planted a bomb. 1491 01:17:27,064 --> 01:17:28,856 A time bomb, you see? 1492 01:17:28,940 --> 01:17:30,692 - You must free me. - Do you feel my heart ticking? 1493 01:17:30,775 --> 01:17:32,653 Get me off this fucking wheel! 1494 01:17:33,529 --> 01:17:35,697 All my dreams are coming true. 1495 01:17:35,780 --> 01:17:39,868 In just two minutes, my bomb will go off, killing the Queen. 1496 01:17:40,327 --> 01:17:42,413 Sherlock Holmes will go down in history 1497 01:17:42,496 --> 01:17:45,873 as the worst detective the world has ever known. 1498 01:17:45,957 --> 01:17:49,377 And the name Moriarty will live on forever! 1499 01:17:51,462 --> 01:17:52,965 Father... 1500 01:17:53,340 --> 01:17:55,926 Soon, we shall be together again. 1501 01:17:56,009 --> 01:17:59,096 - In America! - Yeah! 1502 01:18:05,769 --> 01:18:08,480 The bomb will detonate in one minute. 1503 01:18:08,564 --> 01:18:10,691 Where could it possibly be? 1504 01:18:11,734 --> 01:18:13,318 Wait. 1505 01:18:13,402 --> 01:18:15,069 That kettle drum. 1506 01:18:15,154 --> 01:18:18,115 Those are only ever used in mounted cavalry formations, 1507 01:18:18,198 --> 01:18:19,658 never in a Marine band. 1508 01:18:19,742 --> 01:18:21,118 Perhaps... 1509 01:18:21,534 --> 01:18:24,037 The bomb is in the drum. Very good, Watson. 1510 01:18:24,121 --> 01:18:25,873 But the Queen is standing just beside it. 1511 01:18:25,956 --> 01:18:27,248 She'll be blown to smithereens. 1512 01:18:27,332 --> 01:18:28,917 But how to defuse it in time? 1513 01:18:30,502 --> 01:18:34,214 Time remaining until bomb detonation: 55 seconds. 1514 01:18:34,381 --> 01:18:37,885 Estimated blast radius from bomb: 17 feet. 1515 01:18:38,051 --> 01:18:41,054 Time required to move Queen to safety: 12 seconds. 1516 01:18:41,220 --> 01:18:43,181 Solution: Move through crowd, 1517 01:18:43,265 --> 01:18:46,268 see Millie for the first time, forget about bomb. 1518 01:18:46,350 --> 01:18:47,728 No. 1519 01:18:51,439 --> 01:18:53,067 Time remaining: 37 seconds. 1520 01:18:53,442 --> 01:18:55,610 Solution: Shoot water main to douse bomb, 1521 01:18:55,694 --> 01:18:57,988 remember Millie at the park, forget about bomb. 1522 01:18:58,072 --> 01:18:59,239 No, I forgot about the bomb! 1523 01:19:03,659 --> 01:19:05,953 Watson, what are you doing in my brain? 1524 01:19:06,037 --> 01:19:07,497 I'm doing it. 1525 01:19:07,581 --> 01:19:10,125 I'm communicating without words. 1526 01:19:10,208 --> 01:19:12,836 I can't focus. I was trying to formulate a plan, 1527 01:19:12,920 --> 01:19:14,671 and I kept getting off track. 1528 01:19:14,755 --> 01:19:17,466 Holmes, no, you don't. Snap out of it. 1529 01:19:17,548 --> 01:19:19,342 I can't. I'm too emotional. 1530 01:19:19,426 --> 01:19:21,845 Look behind me. The Queen's being blown to bits. 1531 01:19:21,929 --> 01:19:23,430 You have to take control. 1532 01:19:23,514 --> 01:19:25,599 You must be detective for both of us. 1533 01:19:25,681 --> 01:19:26,934 Right. 1534 01:19:28,644 --> 01:19:30,020 I know what I must do. 1535 01:19:30,104 --> 01:19:33,690 Estimated blast radius: 20... No, 30 feet? 1536 01:19:33,774 --> 01:19:36,693 Account for ship's movement. Wait, is that a four or a seven? 1537 01:19:36,777 --> 01:19:38,654 Math is so hard. Hold on. 1538 01:19:38,737 --> 01:19:40,864 What does that "X" mean? Or is that a plus? 1539 01:19:40,948 --> 01:19:43,867 What is that thing? Angle of approach? I don't know how to do angles. 1540 01:19:43,951 --> 01:19:45,284 Should've listened more in school. 1541 01:19:45,368 --> 01:19:46,661 Screw it. Charge! 1542 01:19:48,831 --> 01:19:50,039 Out of my way! 1543 01:19:50,498 --> 01:19:51,625 Move! 1544 01:19:51,875 --> 01:19:54,545 Nine. Eight. 1545 01:19:54,627 --> 01:19:56,087 Coming through! 1546 01:19:56,171 --> 01:19:57,713 - So sorry! - Seven. 1547 01:19:58,923 --> 01:20:00,050 Come on. 1548 01:20:00,300 --> 01:20:01,385 Move your tuchis! 1549 01:20:02,010 --> 01:20:03,220 Sorry! 1550 01:20:05,096 --> 01:20:07,306 Five. Four. 1551 01:20:10,685 --> 01:20:12,103 Two. 1552 01:20:16,734 --> 01:20:17,735 Shit. 1553 01:20:23,823 --> 01:20:25,158 Huzzah. 1554 01:20:25,451 --> 01:20:27,286 Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes. 1555 01:20:27,368 --> 01:20:29,579 Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic. 1556 01:20:30,163 --> 01:20:32,166 - Huzzah! - Hurrah for Sherlock! 1557 01:20:32,248 --> 01:20:33,708 Bravo, Sherlock! 1558 01:20:33,792 --> 01:20:36,170 Sherlock Holmes was right about everything! 1559 01:20:36,252 --> 01:20:37,420 Hip hip hooray! 1560 01:20:38,713 --> 01:20:40,256 Thank you. 1561 01:20:41,382 --> 01:20:44,051 But I could never have done it without Dr. Watson. 1562 01:20:44,136 --> 01:20:45,304 No. 1563 01:20:45,386 --> 01:20:50,183 Let Watson's name be forever associated with the Titanic. 1564 01:20:50,266 --> 01:20:52,519 So, when you think of your friends and relatives 1565 01:20:52,603 --> 01:20:56,440 on board the Titanic, just remember, 1566 01:20:56,523 --> 01:21:01,110 Dr. John H. Watson put them there. 1567 01:21:01,194 --> 01:21:02,820 Hooray for Watson! 1568 01:21:03,113 --> 01:21:04,948 Bloody good they didn't hang him. 1569 01:21:06,533 --> 01:21:10,120 Dr. Watson, you saved us. 1570 01:21:10,662 --> 01:21:11,789 Thank you. 1571 01:21:12,331 --> 01:21:14,583 It has been my pleasure to serve you, Your Majesty. 1572 01:21:31,350 --> 01:21:32,810 No, Millie. 1573 01:21:43,404 --> 01:21:44,947 I have a confession to make. 1574 01:21:45,488 --> 01:21:47,532 I'm not actually in love with you. 1575 01:21:47,990 --> 01:21:50,284 In order to conclude my investigation, 1576 01:21:50,368 --> 01:21:53,579 it was imperative that I understood what love felt like. 1577 01:21:53,663 --> 01:21:55,289 I'm sorry to have led you on. 1578 01:21:56,833 --> 01:21:58,210 I have a confession as well. 1579 01:21:58,292 --> 01:21:59,836 I was also not in love. 1580 01:21:59,920 --> 01:22:01,255 I was conducting an experiment 1581 01:22:01,337 --> 01:22:03,506 on how easy it is to manipulate the male ego. 1582 01:22:04,425 --> 01:22:06,885 - What? - I'm sorry I led you on. 1583 01:22:07,594 --> 01:22:09,721 Well, I have another confession. 1584 01:22:10,471 --> 01:22:12,515 I was just pretending to have a big ego, 1585 01:22:12,765 --> 01:22:15,018 so as to make you think that your experiment was working 1586 01:22:15,101 --> 01:22:17,145 so that I could conclude my experiment on you. 1587 01:22:17,354 --> 01:22:19,106 Well, I had to lead you on, 1588 01:22:19,189 --> 01:22:22,443 because I was doing an experiment about how men think they can manipulate 1589 01:22:22,525 --> 01:22:23,818 female scientists while they're doing experiments. 1590 01:22:23,902 --> 01:22:25,194 Well, I have another confession to make. 1591 01:22:37,666 --> 01:22:41,003 You will be shocked to learn that was my first kiss. 1592 01:22:41,377 --> 01:22:43,671 Mine as well, and we've already mastered it. 1593 01:22:43,756 --> 01:22:45,257 Yes, indeed. 1594 01:22:45,340 --> 01:22:49,677 All aboard! She sails in 20 minutes! 1595 01:22:49,761 --> 01:22:51,220 Hurry, everyone! Step lively! 1596 01:22:51,305 --> 01:22:53,682 Enjoy your trip on the safest ship to sail. 1597 01:22:54,390 --> 01:22:56,809 - Goodbye. - Farewell, Grace. 1598 01:22:57,351 --> 01:22:58,353 Goodbye, Millie. 1599 01:22:58,436 --> 01:23:00,814 Make sure you get plenty of bed rest. 1600 01:23:00,898 --> 01:23:02,608 There's a good chance you're pregnant. 1601 01:23:02,690 --> 01:23:03,983 I hope so. 1602 01:23:04,068 --> 01:23:05,903 From the kissing? 1603 01:23:07,029 --> 01:23:08,864 - Yes. - Yes. 1604 01:23:10,239 --> 01:23:12,451 - What a grand ship. - Yes. 1605 01:23:13,952 --> 01:23:15,244 Watson, look. 1606 01:23:16,079 --> 01:23:17,247 It's Billy Zane. 1607 01:23:18,164 --> 01:23:19,541 Sherlock. 1608 01:23:21,877 --> 01:23:23,837 He's breathtaking. 1609 01:23:24,253 --> 01:23:26,422 Where's the bar on this canoe? 1610 01:23:30,719 --> 01:23:32,261 Holmes. 1611 01:23:32,345 --> 01:23:34,639 I believe I may have solved the one mystery 1612 01:23:34,722 --> 01:23:36,809 which has baffled you all these years. 1613 01:23:38,101 --> 01:23:39,269 What? 1614 01:23:42,898 --> 01:23:44,315 Would you mind? 1615 01:23:47,528 --> 01:23:48,820 Do you like it? 1616 01:23:48,904 --> 01:23:50,155 Let's see here. 1617 01:23:51,364 --> 01:23:54,659 - It suits you. - I think it's perfect. 1618 01:23:54,743 --> 01:23:56,703 Really? You're not just saying that? 1619 01:23:56,787 --> 01:23:59,539 No, I'm not just saying it. 1620 01:23:59,622 --> 01:24:01,582 - Good. - Thank you, Watson. 1621 01:24:01,667 --> 01:24:03,502 And I have something for you as well. 1622 01:24:03,585 --> 01:24:05,128 - No. - Please. 1623 01:24:05,212 --> 01:24:06,588 - Step over here. - Why? 1624 01:24:06,671 --> 01:24:09,257 I don't deserve anything. 1625 01:24:10,050 --> 01:24:11,135 My dear Watson. 1626 01:24:12,261 --> 01:24:13,387 What do you think? 1627 01:24:13,970 --> 01:24:16,013 It's beautiful. 1628 01:24:43,250 --> 01:24:45,711 Telegram for Professor Moriarty. 1629 01:24:48,005 --> 01:24:49,256 Professor? 1630 01:24:56,680 --> 01:24:58,140 Boy, who sent this? 1631 01:25:17,283 --> 01:25:22,283 Subtitles by explosiveskull