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ASTERIX & OBELIX
IN BRITAIN
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We've been through hard times.
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We've often believed,
and then had to unbelieve.
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Can you say that?
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But today,
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we're on an even keel.
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Believe me,
we're going to recover our losses!
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Ship to starboard!
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Ship to starboard!
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Up and at 'em!
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What did I tell you?
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Over here, my dears.
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What the...
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At your stations!
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Raise the sails!
Get your oars out!
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Hurry!
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Too late.
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Up and at 'em!
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Can anyone tell me what that was?
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This my friends, this majestic sight,
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is the most powerful army
that's ever existed.
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It carries Rome's name
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to the frontiers of the known world.
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At its head
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is one man.
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A supreme leader.
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A warrior who conquered Helvetia,
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drove back the Germans,
crushed the Gauls,
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and who will now conquer an island
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called Britannia.
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Britain!
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This conquest, my friends,
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is not merely one more laurel
in Caesar's crown.
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This conquest
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is the gift of the Roman people
to Britain's natives.
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A barbarian people
who dwell in ignorance,
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to whom we will bring
the benefits of Western civilisation.
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By golly, this is a jolly rum thing,
eh what?
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I say, rather, old fruit.
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Britain is inhabited
by a mysterious people
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who have one very curious custom:
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at five in the afternoon,
everything comes to a halt.
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Push! Push!
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Hold on.
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Why do they do this, O Caesar?
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To drink hot Water.
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Hot water?
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Their favourite beverage.
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A cup of hot water?
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Gladly. With a cloud of milk, please.
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We shall attack the Britons
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every day at five o'clock on the dot.
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I promise you,
this will be our quickest victory ever!
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I say, we should sound the alarm.
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Wouldn't it be preferable to run?
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Of course.
But a gentleman never runs.
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No, not there.
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Not there either.
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Perfect.
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Clear this away, please.
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And send for Sir Jolitorax.
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Yes, Your Majesty.
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With his underhanded methods,
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Mr. Caesar has almost annihilated
our army.
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Behave, children.
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But every remaining free man is here now
and we shall battle to the end.
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All the same, Jolitorax,
I wonder
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if we can hold out
against the Roman legions forever.
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One village has managed this feat.
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Really?
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Yes. They say its inhabitants
have held out
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thanks to a magic potion
that makes them invincible.
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If Her Majesty allows,
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I shall go and ask them
for help in person.
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That's a jolly good idea, Jolitorax.
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Where is this remarkable village?
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Well?
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In Gaul, Your Majesty.
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You want to seek help from the Gauls?
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Mightn't it be preferable
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to be invaded?
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Ok for the Gauls.
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Jolly good luck, Jolitorax.
And all that sort of thing.
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Goudurix...
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It's time to wake up.
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- Should we start?
- Start what?
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- Bashing him around.
- Obelix...
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Our leader Abraracourcix entrusted us
with his nephew Goudurix.
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To make a man out of him!
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It won't happen if we don't bash him.
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Obelix, those old-fashioned methods
aren't for us.
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Patience, psychology,
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and a gentle guiding hand.
That's our method.
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The lad will blossom into
a responsible man we can be proud of.
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- So do we bash him or not?
- No.
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Goudurix,
we wake up early in the country.
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In Lutetia this is when I go to bed.
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So get lost, bumpkins,
I won't move from this bed.
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Obelix...
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What? I used psychology.
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I didn't bash him around.
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He didn't want to move?
The bed moved.
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- You guys are crazy!
- It isn't fun for us.
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It's for your own good. Let's go.
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I've got to get dressed
and do my hair first.
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Goudurix, you've been in there
for two hours!
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Should I use some more psychology?
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Come on.
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Your hair's just the same.
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No way. Before it wasn't done.
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This is the "undone done" look.
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It takes a lot of work.
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Ok, let's go to the forest.
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Exercise No. 1:
"How to whip Romans. "
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What?
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Violence is for the weak.
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What did you say?
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Sorry, Asterix, I lost control.
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It's only human.
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And at least
it didn't mess up your hair!
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- You guys are crazy!
- No.
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Come on, follow us.
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With a little luck, We'll find a patrol.
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There aren't many Romans left,
they're all in Britain...
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Where'd he go?
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I'm lucky to live in Lutetia.
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But I needed a change of scenery
so I came to the country.
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I think it'll help my songwriting.
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I'm a bard.
Hey, you just gave me an idea!
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Really?
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I'll build ye a dolmen
Where love will reign
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Where love is everything
And you'll be my queen...
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How pretty!
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That's because you inspired it.
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Excuse me,
you're not here to court pretty girls
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but to become a man.
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Hey, morons,
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a man isn't necessarily
a thick-headed brute.
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A man can be someone sensitive
who can say "I love you",
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who's not afraid to cry.
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Oh, how true!
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So if you'd kindly blow off, peasants.
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No, let me.
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I say. I believe I've found
the right place.
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You've travelled far, British friend.
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What can I offer you?
Wild boar? A beer?
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A cup of hot water, please.
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Is that all?
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With a cloud of milk. Thank you.
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Asterix, Obelix,
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meet Jolitorax.
He's just arrived from Britain
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to seek our help
against the Roman invader.
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Hullo.
Please, shake me by the hand.
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- Obelix!
- Obelix, behave!
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- He said to shake him.
- He's a Brit. They talk different.
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Are you ok?
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Jolly good show.
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What strength!
I suppose it's the magic potion?
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Obelix fell in it as a baby.
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Not again...
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I
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with that strength,
we'd easily beat the Romans, eh what!
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- Why do you keep saying "what"?
- Say what's what?
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I asked Panoramix
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to prepare some magic potion.
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That's a lot of potion.
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That is why you and Obelix
will escort him.
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It mustn't fall into enemy hands.
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We're going to Britain!
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There'll be brand new Romans.
And to be honest,
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I won't miss your nephew.
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Goudurix is coming with us.
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With Idefix, there won't be room!
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It's the opportunity
to perfect his education.
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No...
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Chief?
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He said no.
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He says you're too little.
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It's too far and there's no room.
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He'd rather we take that imbecile...
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We'll be back soon.
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We give them the barrel: hello, goodbye.
And that's it.
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You won't miss much.
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Yes, there'll be lots of Romans.
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But you know,
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Romans are like oysters,
too many make you sick.
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Be good.
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Watch over the house.
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I'm counting on you.
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I didn't join the legion for this.
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I joined to serve Rome,
not arrest illegal alienus all clay long.
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Caesar said: for the empire's stability,
migratory flows must be controlled.
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And what does that mean?
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It means, uh...
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Look, orders are orders. Don't argue.
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Caught red-handed!
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What?
Gauls can go to the beach.
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I smell illegal alienus.
Let's check their ID.
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- Count me out.
- What?
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It's a bum rap.
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00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:05,277
To each his own sense of duty.
It's your conscience.
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Roman legion, border control!
Show me your papyrus.
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Here.
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- That's the old model.
- Oh yeah?
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The new ones are stone.
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Impossible to forge.
There're too many fakes.
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What's in the barrel?
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The problem with Romans
is that they're overeager.
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Talking about me?
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Jolitorax,
it's time you tested the potion.
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00:15:36,559 --> 00:15:37,519
What's that?
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00:15:37,679 --> 00:15:39,319
One second, please.
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00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,240
I may lack a sense of duty,
but when it comes to survival...
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00:16:21,561 --> 00:16:23,641
- Well?
- They're holding out.
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00:16:23,801 --> 00:16:25,482
BY Jupiter!
216
00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:28,401
My sapiens has its limits!
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00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:31,161
You mean your patience?
218
00:16:31,401 --> 00:16:34,523
No, my sapiens. Wisdom.
Don't you speak Latin?
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00:16:35,682 --> 00:16:38,923
I'm asking the Senate
for reinforcements.
220
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:39,682
Ave, Caesar!
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00:16:39,842 --> 00:16:42,203
A delegation of senators
is requesting an audience.
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00:16:42,642 --> 00:16:46,842
Extraordinary! I think of the Senate
and the Senate comes to me.
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00:16:47,683 --> 00:16:50,242
I'm popular with the gods!
Show them in
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and prepare a little orgy.
They'll like that.
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Ave,
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honourable members of the Senate.
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00:16:58,763 --> 00:16:59,963
It is a privilege...
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Ave, Caesar.
229
00:17:02,003 --> 00:17:03,643
Senator Lucius Fouinus.
230
00:17:04,243 --> 00:17:08,603
The Senate commissioned us
to audit your accounts.
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00:17:08,963 --> 00:17:09,963
To do what?
232
00:17:10,123 --> 00:17:12,683
Audit your accounts. It's Latin.
It means...
233
00:17:12,843 --> 00:17:14,844
I know what it means!
234
00:17:15,003 --> 00:17:18,364
I've looked at your books.
They're not very clear.
235
00:17:19,245 --> 00:17:20,325
Oh really?
236
00:17:20,484 --> 00:17:22,044
For example...
237
00:17:23,205 --> 00:17:25,525
This expense of 20,000 sesterces
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00:17:25,685 --> 00:17:26,925
for a round-trip journey
239
00:17:27,084 --> 00:17:30,325
- Alexandria-Londinium -
by private galley.
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00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:33,044
Cleopatra came for the weekend.
241
00:17:33,205 --> 00:17:35,685
Can't Cleopatra take a regular boat?
242
00:17:36,525 --> 00:17:38,245
She is the Queen of Egypt.
243
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:41,085
Then why doesn't Egypt pay?
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My men and I will examine this.
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I hope no one will try to influence us.
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00:17:48,726 --> 00:17:50,205
I wouldn't dream of it.
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The Senators' orgy is ready.
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00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:53,565
Should I call the girls?
249
00:18:04,406 --> 00:18:06,086
What about our reinforcements?
250
00:18:08,806 --> 00:18:12,326
Forgive me, O Great Caesar,
but I might have an idea.
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I'm listening.
252
00:18:16,046 --> 00:18:19,126
Why not use our secret funds
to hire mercenaries
253
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to do our dirty work?
254
00:18:22,567 --> 00:18:25,527
Supposing such "secret funds" existed...
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00:18:26,927 --> 00:18:28,167
Who do you have in mind?
256
00:18:28,727 --> 00:18:31,047
The worst barbarians of all, Caesar.
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The Normans.
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00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:35,768
A fearsome people from the North
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00:18:35,927 --> 00:18:39,168
where the snow never melts
and it's dark for six months.
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00:18:39,647 --> 00:18:43,328
These merciless warriors
who drink from their enemies' skulls
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00:18:43,488 --> 00:18:44,608
have one particularity...
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they do not know fear!
263
00:19:10,089 --> 00:19:11,130
What's your name?
264
00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:15,569
Megacursus, O Noble Caesar,
to honour and serve you.
265
00:19:15,969 --> 00:19:20,769
Well, Megacursus,
go find the Normans and hire them.
266
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,490
If you succeed in this mission,
267
00:19:24,370 --> 00:19:25,811
you'll be a rich man.
268
00:19:25,971 --> 00:19:28,131
And now let's enjoy that orgy.
269
00:19:28,291 --> 00:19:29,890
- I despise waste.
- Me too?
270
00:19:30,051 --> 00:19:32,890
No. You'll get an orgy-basket
for your trip.
271
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,532
Why did you
272
00:19:46,691 --> 00:19:47,931
desert me
273
00:19:48,852 --> 00:19:52,771
Why did you abandon me
274
00:19:53,411 --> 00:19:55,211
Why did you ditch me...
275
00:19:55,651 --> 00:19:57,171
I understand why.
276
00:19:59,371 --> 00:20:02,531
Why is it all over
277
00:20:02,771 --> 00:20:05,411
Why did you leave me...
278
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,653
You're giving me a headache.
279
00:20:07,812 --> 00:20:10,533
- I'm expressing myself.
- I'll express a bashing!
280
00:20:10,692 --> 00:20:12,772
Obelix, patience and psychology.
281
00:20:12,932 --> 00:20:15,012
Goudurix, what do you want to be?
282
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:16,372
I want to be a bard.
283
00:20:16,532 --> 00:20:18,852
But the old man wants me
to be a druid.
284
00:20:19,013 --> 00:20:21,172
Druid is a fascinating profession.
285
00:20:21,332 --> 00:20:23,813
Yeah right, 60 years of schooling.
No thanks.
286
00:20:26,772 --> 00:20:28,374
What's a British hunk?
287
00:20:29,734 --> 00:20:30,814
A tourist!
288
00:20:35,053 --> 00:20:36,613
Don't take it personally.
289
00:20:36,773 --> 00:20:40,574
It's because in Gaul
we say that the Brits are kind of...
290
00:20:42,373 --> 00:20:43,933
I mean, you're not very...
291
00:20:46,573 --> 00:20:50,575
What about you?
How do the Britons see us?
292
00:20:51,854 --> 00:20:54,574
I say. We find you arrogant,
293
00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:58,454
loudmouthed, lecherous,
294
00:20:58,935 --> 00:21:01,854
cowardly, uncultivated...
295
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:03,774
and dirty.
296
00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:11,095
Why did you forsake me...
297
00:21:11,255 --> 00:21:14,735
Stop bleating like a lamb,
you'll never become a man.
298
00:21:14,895 --> 00:21:16,655
What's a man in your book?
299
00:21:16,815 --> 00:21:20,415
Two guys like you
who live together with a little dog?
300
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:22,656
I'll kill him.
301
00:21:22,816 --> 00:21:26,496
We promised the chief
we'd bring him back safe and sound.
302
00:21:27,255 --> 00:21:28,296
Calm down.
303
00:21:29,615 --> 00:21:32,896
In Britain, two men living together
is quite common.
304
00:21:34,256 --> 00:21:36,136
That's not the same thing.
305
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:39,176
I think there's
a little misunderstanding.
306
00:21:39,336 --> 00:21:41,936
We don't live together,
we share lodgings.
307
00:21:42,096 --> 00:21:44,936
It's more like we're roommates.
308
00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:48,416
It's like co-workers
who have the same hours.
309
00:21:48,577 --> 00:21:50,736
It's a question of practicality.
310
00:21:55,298 --> 00:21:57,977
I never Would've left you
311
00:21:58,137 --> 00:22:00,297
I never would've gone...
312
00:22:08,937 --> 00:22:10,658
Bless you, Obelix.
313
00:22:11,457 --> 00:22:12,897
It wasn't me.
314
00:22:18,339 --> 00:22:19,378
Sorry.
315
00:22:19,538 --> 00:22:24,259
I'm sorry to impose my presence on you
in your jolly-boat, noble travellers.
316
00:22:24,418 --> 00:22:25,818
But I must reach Britain
317
00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:29,498
and regular boat lines
don't like illegal alienus like me.
318
00:22:29,859 --> 00:22:32,498
I say, he is original, eh what?
319
00:22:32,658 --> 00:22:33,818
Don't worry,
320
00:22:33,979 --> 00:22:37,260
when we land,
I'll depart and bother you no more.
321
00:22:37,420 --> 00:22:38,660
You're no bother.
322
00:22:38,819 --> 00:22:40,980
But why Britain, mister... ?
323
00:22:41,139 --> 00:22:43,339
Pindepis. My name is Pindepis.
324
00:22:43,499 --> 00:22:46,979
I come from a poor,
distant land in the Ganges Valley.
325
00:22:47,140 --> 00:22:51,019
They say you can get rich in Britain,
so I decided to try my luck.
326
00:22:51,179 --> 00:22:52,220
What's that?
327
00:22:53,979 --> 00:22:56,779
A plant from back home.
It grows all over.
328
00:22:56,939 --> 00:22:59,140
I feel less lonely with it.
329
00:23:00,020 --> 00:23:02,300
So please don't throw me overboard.
330
00:23:02,460 --> 00:23:03,260
I can't swim!
331
00:23:14,181 --> 00:23:15,500
I'm hungry.
332
00:23:17,820 --> 00:23:19,461
Me too.
333
00:23:22,262 --> 00:23:24,582
I say, I believe we have a message.
334
00:23:26,461 --> 00:23:28,741
Your Majesty, a message from Jolitorax.
335
00:23:29,501 --> 00:23:30,381
What does he say?
336
00:23:31,621 --> 00:23:34,462
"Your Majesty, I have the pleasure
of informing you
337
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:37,101
that the barrel
has reached British soil. "
338
00:23:37,261 --> 00:23:38,821
"Faithfully yours, Jolitorax. "
339
00:23:39,101 --> 00:23:41,863
Excellent news. Isn't it, dears?
340
00:24:21,384 --> 00:24:23,305
Hey dudes, hiking isn't my thing.
341
00:24:23,744 --> 00:24:26,384
- If you want to become a man...
- Drop it.
342
00:24:27,784 --> 00:24:31,864
I say. A calm and peaceful spot
to have a bite to eat.
343
00:24:33,144 --> 00:24:35,345
I hope they have wild boar.
344
00:24:36,784 --> 00:24:38,505
JOLLY BOAR INN
345
00:24:44,706 --> 00:24:45,865
Hullo.
346
00:24:46,505 --> 00:24:47,265
Hullo.
347
00:24:47,426 --> 00:24:48,865
Would you like supper?
348
00:24:49,226 --> 00:24:52,825
Yes, rather.
We'd like four orders of boar.
349
00:24:52,985 --> 00:24:55,585
Of course. Go sit over there.
350
00:25:00,625 --> 00:25:01,745
Hullo.
351
00:25:30,147 --> 00:25:31,667
Is that their boar?
352
00:25:31,827 --> 00:25:33,267
Doesn't look jolly to me.
353
00:25:33,427 --> 00:25:34,787
It's a British delicacy:
354
00:25:34,947 --> 00:25:37,748
boiled boar with mint sauce.
355
00:25:37,908 --> 00:25:39,347
Delicious.
356
00:25:39,507 --> 00:25:41,348
Why does it smell like fish?
357
00:25:41,707 --> 00:25:44,068
Because we always boil it
with cod liver.
358
00:25:44,228 --> 00:25:46,268
Otherwise it would have no taste.
359
00:25:47,027 --> 00:25:48,228
Poor beast.
360
00:25:55,548 --> 00:25:56,628
Ave.
361
00:25:57,109 --> 00:25:58,948
We're looking for Gauls
362
00:25:59,108 --> 00:26:01,028
who disembarked illegally.
363
00:26:12,229 --> 00:26:15,829
Ave. Last name, first name,
profession and place of residence.
364
00:26:16,269 --> 00:26:17,789
But of course.
365
00:26:17,950 --> 00:26:20,950
We're British merchants
on a business trip.
366
00:26:21,110 --> 00:26:24,270
My name is Jolitorax,
and this is Asterax.
367
00:26:24,429 --> 00:26:25,029
Hullo.
368
00:26:25,869 --> 00:26:27,189
Obelax...
369
00:26:27,349 --> 00:26:29,509
- Hello.
- No. "Hullo".
370
00:26:29,669 --> 00:26:31,750
- Hello.
- One second. "Hullo".
371
00:26:33,950 --> 00:26:35,270
No, "hullo".
372
00:26:35,430 --> 00:26:37,031
It's a short "u".
373
00:26:37,190 --> 00:26:38,511
Hullo.
374
00:26:39,150 --> 00:26:40,270
That's it.
375
00:26:41,190 --> 00:26:43,270
And my nephew... Pain-in-the-ax.
376
00:26:43,430 --> 00:26:45,310
The poor boy is mute.
377
00:26:49,351 --> 00:26:52,031
Soldiers! Search the inn!
378
00:26:52,711 --> 00:26:54,231
Enjoy your meal, Britons.
379
00:27:10,671 --> 00:27:14,112
I don't know
how you can eat that stuff...
380
00:27:14,272 --> 00:27:15,433
You Britons.
381
00:27:18,792 --> 00:27:20,353
Nothing to report, sir.
382
00:27:21,832 --> 00:27:23,472
Good evening, gentlemen.
383
00:27:23,752 --> 00:27:25,072
Have a good journey.
384
00:27:33,352 --> 00:27:34,593
By Toutatis!
385
00:27:35,154 --> 00:27:36,153
In the name of Rome,
386
00:27:36,313 --> 00:27:38,594
surrender, Gauls!
387
00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:06,514
Bravo! Good job blending in.
388
00:28:06,674 --> 00:28:08,194
It's not my fault.
389
00:28:08,355 --> 00:28:11,194
Wild boar with cod liver is inhuman.
390
00:28:11,355 --> 00:28:13,634
You're right, it's not your fault.
391
00:28:13,794 --> 00:28:16,194
It never has been
and probably never will.
392
00:28:16,474 --> 00:28:18,315
Are you trying to be nice?
393
00:28:18,475 --> 00:28:19,515
You know what?
394
00:28:19,675 --> 00:28:22,235
Even when you're around, I feel lonely.
395
00:28:22,395 --> 00:28:24,995
I'm intellectually undernourished.
396
00:28:25,155 --> 00:28:26,395
Come on, we get on.
397
00:28:26,555 --> 00:28:27,915
No. I put up with you.
398
00:28:28,075 --> 00:28:31,875
I knock myself out
for a walking calamity, a curse,
399
00:28:32,035 --> 00:28:33,716
a natural disaster named Obelix.
400
00:28:33,876 --> 00:28:35,395
And what do I get?
401
00:28:36,235 --> 00:28:36,995
Nothing.
402
00:28:37,156 --> 00:28:40,836
I sacrifice myself for nothing.
So you see, I'm fed up.
403
00:28:41,397 --> 00:28:42,156
Frankly,
404
00:28:42,316 --> 00:28:45,677
"two guys who live together
with a little dog" isn't for me.
405
00:28:45,917 --> 00:28:47,997
What've you got against Idefix?
406
00:28:48,797 --> 00:28:50,717
I need to meet someone.
407
00:28:51,036 --> 00:28:51,636
Who?
408
00:28:51,796 --> 00:28:55,316
Who knows! But it'll never happen
with you clinging to me.
409
00:28:56,836 --> 00:28:58,157
What's his problem?
410
00:28:58,596 --> 00:29:01,117
He has to meet someone
but he doesn't know who.
411
00:29:01,278 --> 00:29:03,117
So of course he's irritable.
412
00:29:11,718 --> 00:29:13,837
Caesar was very clear,
413
00:29:13,997 --> 00:29:16,597
if you wipe out
the village of British rebels,
414
00:29:16,757 --> 00:29:18,397
he'll shower you with gold.
415
00:29:19,037 --> 00:29:20,998
Gold only brings luxury
416
00:29:21,158 --> 00:29:23,478
and luxury weakens men's spirits.
417
00:29:24,718 --> 00:29:27,199
Is that what you want, Roman?
To weaken us?
418
00:29:27,878 --> 00:29:30,198
Not on my life, Grossebaf.
419
00:29:33,158 --> 00:29:37,158
Only fear could tempt us
to travel to this country.
420
00:29:37,318 --> 00:29:38,518
Fear?
421
00:29:38,678 --> 00:29:41,359
Even the weakest nations know fear.
But not us!
422
00:29:41,518 --> 00:29:42,799
Not us!
423
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:46,639
Yet we've tried everything.
424
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,879
We've carried out experiments...
425
00:29:50,599 --> 00:29:51,200
Well?
426
00:29:52,079 --> 00:29:53,999
Still more pain than fear.
427
00:29:56,479 --> 00:30:00,120
We've tried to instil it
in our infants...
428
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,000
Without' success.
429
00:30:06,161 --> 00:30:07,560
Fear escapes us.
430
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:09,000
By Odin, we want to know it!
431
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,561
We want to know it!
432
00:30:11,801 --> 00:30:12,761
But why?
433
00:30:13,441 --> 00:30:15,040
He asks why...
434
00:30:18,081 --> 00:30:21,121
Everyone knows
that fear gives you wings, Roman!
435
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:24,721
And my warriors and I dream of flying.
Like birds.
436
00:30:27,801 --> 00:30:29,202
Then you're in luck.
437
00:30:29,362 --> 00:30:32,001
Britons are the most fearful people
in the world.
438
00:30:32,561 --> 00:30:33,241
They are?
439
00:30:33,602 --> 00:30:34,962
Yes, of course.
440
00:30:35,122 --> 00:30:38,081
Every time you ask them a question,
they answer:
441
00:30:38,242 --> 00:30:40,961
"I'm afraid that... " or "I fear that... "
442
00:30:42,522 --> 00:30:43,561
Then it's decided!
443
00:30:43,721 --> 00:30:46,002
By Odin, We're sailing for Britain!
444
00:30:54,723 --> 00:30:55,922
Gentlemen...
445
00:30:56,522 --> 00:30:58,843
Welcome to Londinium.
446
00:32:22,526 --> 00:32:25,166
The Romans are looking for us.
Let's hide the barrel.
447
00:32:25,326 --> 00:32:26,406
Good idea. But where?
448
00:32:26,766 --> 00:32:30,766
Use your heads. Where is the best place
to hide a tree? A forest.
449
00:32:30,926 --> 00:32:33,007
So the best place to hide a barrel?
450
00:32:33,167 --> 00:32:34,487
A forest?
451
00:32:35,928 --> 00:32:37,007
A... ?
452
00:32:37,168 --> 00:32:38,287
A forest...
453
00:32:38,767 --> 00:32:41,247
An inn!
With other barrels.
454
00:32:41,408 --> 00:32:42,007
Excellent
455
00:32:42,167 --> 00:32:44,168
I know just the place.
456
00:32:49,648 --> 00:32:52,128
Cousin Jolitorax,
fearfully pleased to see you.
457
00:32:52,287 --> 00:32:54,008
I say, me too, Relax.
458
00:32:54,169 --> 00:32:57,568
But let's not get emotional.
I'm on a mission for the Queen.
459
00:32:57,928 --> 00:33:00,688
I'll bid farewell to my wife
and I'm yours.
460
00:33:00,848 --> 00:33:04,248
Not necessary. We only want
to hide this barrel with yours.
461
00:33:04,528 --> 00:33:07,728
I see. Easy as pie.
We'll put it in the cellar.
462
00:33:07,889 --> 00:33:08,849
Follow me.
463
00:33:19,449 --> 00:33:20,969
One stout, please.
464
00:33:22,649 --> 00:33:24,809
The energy in this town is amazing.
465
00:33:25,369 --> 00:33:25,969
Excuse me?
466
00:33:26,130 --> 00:33:30,289
The energy here is amazing.
You feel like anything's possible.
467
00:33:30,449 --> 00:33:31,129
Yeah, maybe.
468
00:33:31,289 --> 00:33:34,210
No, it's true. I'm from Lutetia.
It's dead in comparison.
469
00:33:34,370 --> 00:33:36,291
It's stuck in a time warp.
470
00:33:36,450 --> 00:33:38,290
- You're from Lutetia?
- Yeah.
471
00:33:38,770 --> 00:33:41,450
Well, not far.
Barely a two-week walk.
472
00:33:45,331 --> 00:33:47,131
People sure do like stout here.
473
00:33:47,290 --> 00:33:49,090
- Next one's on me.
- No, thank you...
474
00:33:49,250 --> 00:33:52,051
I insist.
I know what you're thinking.
475
00:33:52,410 --> 00:33:55,331
"He's a Gaul, watch out,
they're all Womanizers. "
476
00:33:55,491 --> 00:33:57,611
Well not me. I'm no womanizer.
477
00:33:58,772 --> 00:34:00,651
I'm just a guy who loves life.
478
00:34:00,812 --> 00:34:03,491
Life's magical,
timeless moments, you see?
479
00:34:03,651 --> 00:34:05,451
Here, getting to know each other.
480
00:34:05,612 --> 00:34:10,172
I'm full of energy like this town.
I want to live, to laugh, to cry.
481
00:34:10,331 --> 00:34:13,052
Yes, I'm a man who knows how to cry.
482
00:34:13,211 --> 00:34:14,932
I'm not ashamed to say I cry.
483
00:34:15,331 --> 00:34:16,852
I cry very often. Over nothing.
484
00:34:18,211 --> 00:34:19,412
Do you like men who cry?
485
00:34:20,772 --> 00:34:22,493
Not really.
486
00:34:31,973 --> 00:34:34,853
How's everything?
Is the barrel safe?
487
00:34:35,212 --> 00:34:37,132
- What?
- You've got some froth...
488
00:34:38,933 --> 00:34:40,653
So, what do we do now?
489
00:34:41,453 --> 00:34:42,693
Well,
490
00:34:43,293 --> 00:34:47,533
I suppose we could pay
a surprise visit to Ophelia.
491
00:34:47,854 --> 00:34:48,613
Who's Ophelia?
492
00:34:49,213 --> 00:34:49,853
My fianc�e.
493
00:34:54,653 --> 00:34:56,094
There's still some...
494
00:35:06,334 --> 00:35:09,415
I'd heard British chicks were dogs,
but she's hot.
495
00:35:14,174 --> 00:35:17,454
Yes, she is pretty.
That black dress really suits her.
496
00:35:24,655 --> 00:35:25,535
Jolitorax...
497
00:35:26,295 --> 00:35:27,815
What a jolly surprise.
498
00:35:27,975 --> 00:35:29,095
I'm frightfully happy too.
499
00:35:29,255 --> 00:35:32,055
But no effusiveness.
I'm on a mission for the Queen.
500
00:35:32,215 --> 00:35:35,255
Since I was in Londinium
I wanted you to meet...
501
00:35:35,415 --> 00:35:36,375
Goudurix. Cool.
502
00:35:38,175 --> 00:35:40,095
Okay you, calm down!
503
00:35:40,855 --> 00:35:43,256
She's his fianc�e. Show some respect.
504
00:35:43,416 --> 00:35:46,017
- Forgive him, he's young.
- It's of no importance.
505
00:35:46,177 --> 00:35:47,576
Asterix. At your service.
506
00:35:48,816 --> 00:35:50,456
Pleased to meet you.
507
00:35:50,616 --> 00:35:51,816
Very pleased.
508
00:35:53,297 --> 00:35:54,937
- My friends are...
- Gauls.
509
00:35:55,096 --> 00:35:56,816
We guessed as much.
510
00:35:57,216 --> 00:35:58,056
By the accent?
511
00:35:58,456 --> 00:35:59,896
No, by the smell.
512
00:36:01,296 --> 00:36:04,336
Mother and Father are away,
but I insist you stay.
513
00:36:05,016 --> 00:36:08,498
Miss Macintosh and I
shall prepare a meal for you.
514
00:36:16,937 --> 00:36:19,498
The energy in this town is amazing.
515
00:36:19,657 --> 00:36:20,257
Oh, really?
516
00:36:20,417 --> 00:36:23,297
You really feel like
anything's possible here...
517
00:36:23,458 --> 00:36:25,617
You could meet fabulous people,
518
00:36:25,778 --> 00:36:27,058
exchange ideas,
519
00:36:27,218 --> 00:36:30,538
fall in love,
have intense but brief adventures...
520
00:36:31,578 --> 00:36:33,059
You know, all that.
521
00:36:34,419 --> 00:36:36,899
I hear you and your friend
have a little dog.
522
00:36:38,618 --> 00:36:39,698
You didn't bring it?
523
00:36:40,538 --> 00:36:41,579
No.
524
00:36:45,858 --> 00:36:47,378
What's this?
525
00:36:47,860 --> 00:36:51,180
Illegal Gauls
with a secret weapon in a barrel?
526
00:36:51,339 --> 00:36:54,180
Yes. We're arresting all Gaul residents.
527
00:36:54,340 --> 00:36:55,499
Women and children too.
528
00:36:55,659 --> 00:36:56,819
We'll burn their houses down.
529
00:36:56,979 --> 00:36:59,299
- No. We need to find the barrel.
- But how?
530
00:36:59,459 --> 00:37:00,780
Use your heads...
531
00:37:00,939 --> 00:37:03,940
Where is the best place to hide a tree?
532
00:37:05,379 --> 00:37:06,059
A forest!
533
00:37:06,219 --> 00:37:10,540
So the best place
to hide a barrel would be...
534
00:37:12,340 --> 00:37:14,140
An inn!
535
00:37:14,540 --> 00:37:17,300
Search every cellar
of every inn in Londinium
536
00:37:17,460 --> 00:37:19,421
and confiscate every barrel!
537
00:37:22,581 --> 00:37:24,020
What about the tree?
538
00:37:24,460 --> 00:37:25,981
Find that barrel!
539
00:37:26,701 --> 00:37:30,822
I'll have you boiled
and served to the lions with mint sauce!
540
00:37:42,821 --> 00:37:44,421
I don't think she likes me.
541
00:37:44,581 --> 00:37:45,541
Who's that?
542
00:37:46,142 --> 00:37:48,421
Miss Makichtok. She doesn't like me.
543
00:37:48,581 --> 00:37:50,942
With her looks she shouldn't be picky.
544
00:37:56,262 --> 00:37:59,942
It doesn't show much
that you and Ophelia are engaged.
545
00:38:00,102 --> 00:38:01,902
I'd say it doesn't show at all.
546
00:38:02,422 --> 00:38:05,903
That's because we Britons
are sticklers for proprieties.
547
00:38:07,023 --> 00:38:08,302
A gentleman
548
00:38:08,462 --> 00:38:11,543
must never, under any circumstance,
compromise his fianc�e
549
00:38:11,702 --> 00:38:14,503
by being too... how should I put it?
550
00:38:14,743 --> 00:38:16,103
Overbearing.
551
00:38:17,304 --> 00:38:22,504
Unescorted visits must be rare
and last only a fleeting moment.
552
00:38:24,623 --> 00:38:26,783
And when was your last one?
553
00:38:26,943 --> 00:38:27,743
Last year.
554
00:38:28,983 --> 00:38:30,263
I see.
555
00:38:30,584 --> 00:38:34,464
I say, when Ophelia
invited us to stay, I hesitated.
556
00:38:34,784 --> 00:38:37,704
But I'm glad
I had the audacity to accept.
557
00:38:38,664 --> 00:38:41,184
Would you have the audacity
to pass the salt?
558
00:38:43,304 --> 00:38:44,384
Sorry.
559
00:38:50,384 --> 00:38:52,464
You really like
Miss What's-Her-Face?
560
00:38:53,144 --> 00:38:55,585
Then give her a present.
It always works.
561
00:38:56,345 --> 00:38:57,785
That's a good idea.
562
00:38:59,065 --> 00:39:00,025
I know...
563
00:39:30,866 --> 00:39:32,867
In the name of Rome, open up!
564
00:39:36,587 --> 00:39:37,866
Search the inn!
565
00:40:04,628 --> 00:40:05,909
Legionaries!
566
00:40:06,268 --> 00:40:09,108
There's a secret weapon
in one of these barrels.
567
00:40:09,548 --> 00:40:12,948
To find it, we will apply
methodology and rigour.
568
00:40:13,268 --> 00:40:14,949
You make a hole, you taste.
569
00:40:15,308 --> 00:40:17,748
If anything tastes suspicious,
let us know.
570
00:40:17,908 --> 00:40:19,468
Otherwise, mark the barrel
571
00:40:19,629 --> 00:40:22,709
and move on to the next.
Is that clear?
572
00:40:22,949 --> 00:40:23,909
On my command!
573
00:40:36,589 --> 00:40:37,669
Action!
574
00:40:51,471 --> 00:40:54,351
The rhododendrons
have come on nicely this year.
575
00:40:54,871 --> 00:40:55,670
Oh, really?
576
00:41:02,070 --> 00:41:03,831
The begonias too.
577
00:41:05,992 --> 00:41:07,871
But not the sunflowers.
578
00:41:09,511 --> 00:41:11,592
I'm terribly sorry to hear it.
579
00:41:40,712 --> 00:41:42,952
That must've taken ages to make.
580
00:41:43,112 --> 00:41:45,112
The Macintoshes have been working
581
00:41:45,713 --> 00:41:48,193
on this tapestry for five generations.
582
00:41:48,833 --> 00:41:50,034
I see.
583
00:41:50,193 --> 00:41:52,153
When it's finished,
584
00:41:52,433 --> 00:41:54,993
it will be my family's pride and joy.
585
00:42:03,753 --> 00:42:07,155
The energy in this town
really is amazing...
586
00:42:10,274 --> 00:42:11,074
Sorry.
587
00:42:14,074 --> 00:42:15,594
Sorry to burst in on you.
588
00:42:15,754 --> 00:42:18,795
The Romans seized
the barrel of magic potion!
589
00:42:19,274 --> 00:42:20,514
If you want to find it,
590
00:42:20,674 --> 00:42:22,874
it has "Relax" written on it.
591
00:42:59,117 --> 00:43:00,996
Ave, Claudius Lapsus, let me taste.
592
00:43:01,156 --> 00:43:02,356
No, it's my barrel.
593
00:43:02,516 --> 00:43:04,757
It's not yours, it's everybody's.
594
00:43:13,278 --> 00:43:14,478
Hey, you!
595
00:43:15,277 --> 00:43:16,597
Come here.
596
00:43:35,318 --> 00:43:37,478
- Do I knock him out?
- Yes, quietly.
597
00:43:38,998 --> 00:43:40,159
Obelix, quietly!
598
00:43:40,679 --> 00:43:42,079
I understood.
599
00:43:48,838 --> 00:43:50,358
Very good.
600
00:44:10,919 --> 00:44:13,600
You're a swell pal.
601
00:44:14,639 --> 00:44:16,641
Come on, we've no time to lose.
602
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,481
I can drink this,
I didn't fall into it.
603
00:44:38,081 --> 00:44:39,402
Over here.
604
00:44:43,321 --> 00:44:45,442
Take them all. We'll sort them later.
605
00:44:45,601 --> 00:44:47,161
Obelix, help us.
606
00:44:53,922 --> 00:44:55,162
I don't believe it.
607
00:44:55,641 --> 00:44:59,042
I just tasted a tiny bit.
Hardly at all.
608
00:45:02,882 --> 00:45:04,402
Like the great Caesar said,
609
00:45:04,562 --> 00:45:08,442
we are here to promote
the values of our grand civilisation.
610
00:45:09,003 --> 00:45:10,482
But we will not succeed
611
00:45:10,643 --> 00:45:12,802
if the natives perceive us as enemies.
612
00:45:12,962 --> 00:45:14,483
The Britons are proud.
613
00:45:14,643 --> 00:45:18,522
Treat them with courtesy.
Show them we are a great nation.
614
00:45:19,444 --> 00:45:21,924
Here's an opportunity to demonstrate.
615
00:45:22,563 --> 00:45:24,483
A jolly good day
616
00:45:24,843 --> 00:45:27,443
and all that sort of thing,
British friends.
617
00:45:28,924 --> 00:45:32,003
You see? If we don't,
we have a fat chance.
618
00:45:32,484 --> 00:45:33,883
Who called me fat?
619
00:45:35,683 --> 00:45:36,604
Who called me fat?
620
00:45:38,524 --> 00:45:39,763
Who called me fat?
621
00:45:40,405 --> 00:45:41,204
Obelix!
622
00:45:41,365 --> 00:45:43,045
Goodness gracious.
623
00:45:47,644 --> 00:45:51,525
An abandoned cart...
A pure stroke of luck for a cart thief!
624
00:45:52,645 --> 00:45:55,204
Bravo, Obelix! Good job blending in.
625
00:45:59,564 --> 00:46:00,445
Run, Jolitorax!
626
00:46:01,686 --> 00:46:04,846
Sorry, Asterix, a gentleman never runs.
627
00:46:20,606 --> 00:46:22,566
Excuse me, you didn't see a...
628
00:46:22,726 --> 00:46:25,606
- You're a Gaul!
- Yes, but not from Lutetia.
629
00:46:25,766 --> 00:46:27,207
What're you doing here?
630
00:46:27,366 --> 00:46:29,166
Looking for a barrel.
Did you see...
631
00:46:29,326 --> 00:46:30,367
I love Gauls!
632
00:46:30,887 --> 00:46:33,286
You're so much more fun than Britons.
633
00:46:33,446 --> 00:46:34,566
Thanks... Oh really?
634
00:46:37,207 --> 00:46:40,446
You don't have a pigeonhole
where I could reach you?
635
00:46:53,007 --> 00:46:55,168
It's one of the Gauls.
636
00:46:55,647 --> 00:46:56,847
Pick him up!
637
00:47:06,088 --> 00:47:09,888
Sir Jolitorax!
Something unspeakable has happened.
638
00:47:10,048 --> 00:47:12,088
I say, calm down, Miss Macintosh.
639
00:47:12,248 --> 00:47:15,648
It's frightful!
Miss Ophelia has disappeared.
640
00:47:15,808 --> 00:47:17,208
Calm down, dear lady.
641
00:47:17,369 --> 00:47:19,449
And worse yet, with Goudurix!
642
00:47:21,008 --> 00:47:23,648
They wanted to take a stroll
on the beach.
643
00:47:23,888 --> 00:47:26,248
Naturally, I flatly refused.
644
00:47:26,409 --> 00:47:28,090
But that devil Goudurix
645
00:47:28,249 --> 00:47:30,529
stole a cart and...
646
00:47:32,089 --> 00:47:33,769
and the two of them ran off!
647
00:47:34,810 --> 00:47:37,489
Very well. I shall handle this.
648
00:47:41,689 --> 00:47:42,929
Which way did they go?
649
00:47:43,089 --> 00:47:44,530
That way.
650
00:48:06,650 --> 00:48:07,770
Oh, I'm awful.
651
00:48:07,930 --> 00:48:09,891
No, no. You're doing great.
652
00:48:11,852 --> 00:48:15,891
Why didn't you help them
search for the barrel of magic potion?
653
00:48:16,051 --> 00:48:17,892
You're my magic potion.
654
00:48:18,051 --> 00:48:19,291
How sweet of you.
655
00:48:19,451 --> 00:48:21,091
It's not sweet, it's true.
656
00:48:21,251 --> 00:48:23,971
Their potion has nothing to do
with strength.
657
00:48:24,131 --> 00:48:24,732
Really?
658
00:48:25,292 --> 00:48:27,011
Then what is strength about?
659
00:48:28,172 --> 00:48:28,771
This...
660
00:48:30,493 --> 00:48:31,892
That's not appropriate.
661
00:48:32,052 --> 00:48:35,772
You Brits are so uptight.
Chicks are easier in Lutetia.
662
00:48:35,932 --> 00:48:36,612
Really?
663
00:48:36,772 --> 00:48:39,892
You bet! They know kissing
isn't about being appropriate.
664
00:48:40,052 --> 00:48:42,693
It's about timing...
and this was the right time.
665
00:48:42,853 --> 00:48:44,412
But if you don't want to...
666
00:48:45,973 --> 00:48:47,093
Wait...
667
00:48:57,254 --> 00:48:58,573
It's a Gaul kiss.
668
00:49:01,373 --> 00:49:02,653
Come on, it's no big...
669
00:49:04,573 --> 00:49:07,094
- Are those Britons?
- They're not very big.
670
00:49:07,254 --> 00:49:09,454
Hiding behind me?
That's very cowardly.
671
00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:10,213
I don't care.
672
00:49:10,373 --> 00:49:14,095
We're looking for Caesar and his army.
Do you know where they are?
673
00:49:14,255 --> 00:49:15,174
I don't want to die!
674
00:49:15,335 --> 00:49:17,415
- Pull yourself together.
- I'm too afraid!
675
00:49:17,574 --> 00:49:19,934
I say, you're the champion of fear!
676
00:49:20,094 --> 00:49:21,854
Did you hear that, Yadutaf?
677
00:49:22,014 --> 00:49:24,535
Catch him, Tetedepiaf,
before he flies away.
678
00:49:29,934 --> 00:49:32,974
I'll bring him to camp.
Go to the nearest village,
679
00:49:33,134 --> 00:49:35,496
ask for Caesar
and then kill everyone.
680
00:49:35,656 --> 00:49:36,815
How do I find the village?
681
00:49:38,096 --> 00:49:39,135
She'll take you.
682
00:49:39,295 --> 00:49:42,496
- Then what do I do with her?
- You kill her too, stupid.
683
00:49:42,655 --> 00:49:44,455
Oh yeah, right.
684
00:50:20,177 --> 00:50:22,857
A jolly good day to you, foreign friend.
685
00:50:25,538 --> 00:50:27,977
Wait. First, we must agree on the rules.
686
00:50:28,497 --> 00:50:30,017
What rules?
687
00:50:30,257 --> 00:50:31,377
Okay, no rules.
688
00:50:41,098 --> 00:50:41,698
Thank you.
689
00:50:41,859 --> 00:50:45,138
It was nothing.
I needed some exercise anyhow.
690
00:50:45,938 --> 00:50:47,858
I hear you didn't go out alone.
691
00:50:48,018 --> 00:50:51,378
The Normans kidnapped Goudurix!
I'm very worried.
692
00:50:51,538 --> 00:50:52,898
Rightly so, my dear.
693
00:50:53,058 --> 00:50:55,658
The odds are
he's been turned into melba toast.
694
00:50:55,979 --> 00:50:56,699
How awful!
695
00:50:56,858 --> 00:50:58,459
Yes, it is, eh what!
696
00:50:59,258 --> 00:51:01,979
Well then, I suggest we go home.
697
00:51:02,860 --> 00:51:04,539
Your insensibility
698
00:51:04,699 --> 00:51:06,420
saddens me deeply.
699
00:51:06,980 --> 00:51:09,139
I too have reason to feel sad.
700
00:51:09,300 --> 00:51:12,139
But I do not offend you by blaming you.
701
00:51:14,979 --> 00:51:17,820
So be it!
I strayed from the righteous path.
702
00:51:18,780 --> 00:51:20,900
But how could I not?
703
00:51:21,300 --> 00:51:23,260
You're as tedious
as a winter's day
704
00:51:23,421 --> 00:51:25,221
and stiffer than Miss Macintosh.
705
00:51:25,380 --> 00:51:27,620
It took you six months to address me,
706
00:51:27,780 --> 00:51:29,380
one year to ask for my hand,
707
00:51:29,540 --> 00:51:32,380
and we've barely exchanged
ten words since.
708
00:51:33,260 --> 00:51:34,900
When might I hope for
709
00:51:35,060 --> 00:51:36,741
a bit of company,
710
00:51:36,900 --> 00:51:39,341
perhaps even some human warmth?
711
00:51:39,501 --> 00:51:41,141
On my death bed?
712
00:51:43,462 --> 00:51:46,342
My conduct has been
that of a British gentleman.
713
00:51:46,501 --> 00:51:50,901
If this does not suit you,
then we were not meant for each other.
714
00:52:12,902 --> 00:52:13,982
What're you doing here?
715
00:52:14,142 --> 00:52:16,623
I was arrested during an ID check.
716
00:52:16,982 --> 00:52:19,103
I'll be deported on the next caravan.
717
00:52:20,982 --> 00:52:21,902
YOU!
718
00:52:22,742 --> 00:52:23,862
Come with me.
719
00:52:27,263 --> 00:52:28,184
Move it.
720
00:52:28,743 --> 00:52:29,384
Excuse me,
721
00:52:29,544 --> 00:52:32,863
may I have some water for my plant?
It needs it badly.
722
00:52:38,864 --> 00:52:40,343
Doesn't need it anymore.
723
00:53:00,624 --> 00:53:01,505
Why?
724
00:53:01,905 --> 00:53:02,585
Why what?
725
00:53:02,745 --> 00:53:04,584
Why are you always under my feet?
726
00:53:04,945 --> 00:53:08,346
Hey, Jules, every tale
has a good guy and a bad guy.
727
00:53:09,665 --> 00:53:10,985
And you're the bad guy?
728
00:53:11,145 --> 00:53:12,425
No, you're the bad guy.
729
00:53:12,586 --> 00:53:14,585
These are the adventures of Asterix,
not Caesar.
730
00:53:15,145 --> 00:53:17,785
The adventures of Asterix!
731
00:53:18,545 --> 00:53:20,865
See this? "The Gallic Wars. "
732
00:53:21,266 --> 00:53:24,625
The adventures of Julius Caesar,
by Julius Caesar, in six volumes.
733
00:53:24,786 --> 00:53:27,465
That my friend, is History.
734
00:53:28,145 --> 00:53:30,427
Sounds megalomaniac to me.
735
00:53:31,107 --> 00:53:33,226
I don't think you fully realise
who I am.
736
00:53:33,747 --> 00:53:36,747
My reign will have such impact
that in 2,000 years
737
00:53:36,906 --> 00:53:40,346
people will say,
"We're in the year 2000 J. C. "
738
00:53:42,986 --> 00:53:44,626
- But what have you done?
- Me?
739
00:53:44,786 --> 00:53:47,746
Yes, you with your smirk.
What's your claim to fame?
740
00:53:47,906 --> 00:53:49,707
I don't claim much.
741
00:53:50,107 --> 00:53:52,267
I just try to be a decent guy.
742
00:53:52,427 --> 00:53:53,628
I wake up happy.
743
00:53:54,308 --> 00:53:55,987
My pals and I help each other.
744
00:53:56,147 --> 00:53:57,547
We laugh, we argue.
745
00:53:57,708 --> 00:54:00,427
And every Sunday,
we eat a big wild boar together.
746
00:54:01,107 --> 00:54:02,587
You've sold out.
747
00:54:02,867 --> 00:54:03,987
No, I haven't.
748
00:54:04,148 --> 00:54:06,628
In my village, I'm very respected.
749
00:54:06,788 --> 00:54:08,627
- In your village?
- Yes.
750
00:54:10,147 --> 00:54:11,548
That doesn't thrill me.
751
00:54:12,949 --> 00:54:16,548
Listen, I have a proposal to make.
752
00:54:18,788 --> 00:54:20,868
Come and work for me.
753
00:54:21,869 --> 00:54:24,948
Your mind united with my power...
754
00:54:25,388 --> 00:54:27,028
we'd make a smashing team.
755
00:54:28,108 --> 00:54:29,588
Why would I do that?
756
00:54:31,148 --> 00:54:32,430
Because I'm your father.
757
00:54:36,229 --> 00:54:37,149
No...
758
00:54:37,309 --> 00:54:40,189
You believed it! Yes, you did.
759
00:54:40,349 --> 00:54:41,829
You fell for it!
760
00:54:41,989 --> 00:54:43,349
Not at all.
761
00:54:44,510 --> 00:54:46,029
Rubbish.
762
00:54:46,189 --> 00:54:47,989
You're fighting the wrong battle.
763
00:54:48,149 --> 00:54:50,909
Defending the oppressed
is wasted sentimentality.
764
00:54:51,070 --> 00:54:53,469
It might flatter the ego,
but it's useless.
765
00:54:53,630 --> 00:54:57,190
You barely save one race
and another massacres them.
766
00:54:58,670 --> 00:55:02,350
You must be realistic and lucid.
There's no point.
767
00:55:02,991 --> 00:55:04,911
Besides these Britons are odd.
768
00:55:05,351 --> 00:55:07,271
They're playing Mr. Jolly now,
769
00:55:07,511 --> 00:55:11,750
but at the first chance, they'll
declare war on you for 100 years!
770
00:55:11,911 --> 00:55:13,551
Listen to me.
771
00:55:13,711 --> 00:55:16,472
You give me the barrel,
I finish my invasion,
772
00:55:16,631 --> 00:55:19,592
and we wipe out their civilisation.
No more hot water,
773
00:55:19,752 --> 00:55:22,671
no more boiled meat.
And we make them talk normally.
774
00:55:22,831 --> 00:55:25,031
Wouldn't that be a service to humanity?
775
00:55:26,231 --> 00:55:27,231
Yes.
776
00:55:29,352 --> 00:55:30,471
But no.
777
00:55:30,631 --> 00:55:31,471
Take him away.
778
00:55:31,631 --> 00:55:34,672
Torture him until he talks!
Enough! He wears me out.
779
00:55:47,833 --> 00:55:49,513
- He's awake!
- The champion's awake!
780
00:55:52,352 --> 00:55:54,553
The champion! The champion!
781
00:56:00,433 --> 00:56:02,313
Chief, it's the champion.
782
00:56:09,954 --> 00:56:11,233
Scare us.
783
00:56:12,073 --> 00:56:13,593
- Excuse me?
- Scare us!
784
00:56:15,633 --> 00:56:19,714
We travelled far to discover fear.
I demand that you teach us.
785
00:56:20,235 --> 00:56:22,114
Fear? Fear is...
786
00:56:22,514 --> 00:56:23,754
I don't know...
787
00:56:23,915 --> 00:56:27,314
You tremble, you sweat,
your teeth chatter,
788
00:56:27,594 --> 00:56:28,954
you get a stomach ache...
789
00:56:29,234 --> 00:56:31,514
It's the flu! Fear is the flu!
790
00:56:31,674 --> 00:56:32,995
How do you catch it?
791
00:56:33,154 --> 00:56:35,234
I caught it kissing my cousin Epitafe.
792
00:56:54,995 --> 00:56:58,995
For the last time, Norman,
I'm asking you...
793
00:56:59,156 --> 00:57:01,396
Where did they take Goudurix?
794
00:57:04,797 --> 00:57:08,556
My dear Ophelia,
I fear that isn't proper behaviour.
795
00:57:08,716 --> 00:57:12,597
Mr. Tetedepiaf,
though your presence here was not
796
00:57:12,757 --> 00:57:15,077
your choice, so to speak,
797
00:57:15,357 --> 00:57:19,556
we shall do everything
to ensure you have a pleasant stay.
798
00:57:19,716 --> 00:57:24,717
So please, if you have
any needs whatsoever, just ask us.
799
00:57:28,638 --> 00:57:32,518
You-want-me-give-something-you?
800
00:57:33,397 --> 00:57:33,998
Drink!
801
00:57:34,718 --> 00:57:37,278
I'm afraid I didn't hear correctly.
802
00:57:37,438 --> 00:57:39,557
I want drink! Give me!
803
00:57:40,318 --> 00:57:43,478
So many mistakes in so few words!
804
00:57:43,918 --> 00:57:46,838
Firstly, one does not "want" something,
805
00:57:46,998 --> 00:57:47,958
one "hopes".
806
00:57:48,119 --> 00:57:49,919
Or at best, one "wishes".
807
00:57:50,079 --> 00:57:51,719
Secondly,
808
00:57:51,878 --> 00:57:54,999
we Britons are very fussy
about forms of address.
809
00:57:55,158 --> 00:57:57,398
Thirdly and last,
810
00:57:57,558 --> 00:58:00,678
it is customary,
when expressing a request,
811
00:58:00,838 --> 00:58:02,679
to add polite phrases.
812
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:13,439
I'm thirsty!
813
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:17,839
This time, very exceptionally,
814
00:58:17,999 --> 00:58:20,599
I shall show flexibility
815
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:23,199
and give into your request.
816
00:58:26,521 --> 00:58:27,320
It's hot!
817
00:58:27,481 --> 00:58:29,961
By Odin,
you want to poison me, witch?
818
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:31,601
You, you... Untie me!
819
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:33,401
Untie me!
820
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:35,400
By Odin, untie me!
821
00:58:35,881 --> 00:58:36,801
My dear Ophelia,
822
00:58:36,961 --> 00:58:39,961
I believe Mr. Tetedepiaf
would greatly benefit
823
00:58:40,121 --> 00:58:44,000
from a crash course in proper manners.
824
00:58:51,082 --> 00:58:52,961
If several gentlemen are seated
825
00:58:53,122 --> 00:58:55,241
and a lady enters the room,
826
00:58:55,401 --> 00:58:58,961
the gentlemen must immediately
get to their feet
827
00:58:59,521 --> 00:59:02,322
and wait for the lady
to invite them to sit.
828
00:59:02,482 --> 00:59:05,602
Either verbally or with a gentle nod.
829
00:59:06,602 --> 00:59:07,761
Like this.
830
00:59:08,961 --> 00:59:10,963
If the lady wishes to sit down,
831
00:59:11,123 --> 00:59:14,762
one of the gentlemen,
the first one to her left, of course,
832
00:59:15,282 --> 00:59:17,602
must come and stand behind...
833
00:59:45,363 --> 00:59:48,523
So, Gaul, where's the barrel?
834
00:59:50,484 --> 00:59:52,685
Do you enjoy torturing people?
835
00:59:54,484 --> 00:59:57,725
I mean, is it a job you'd recommend
836
00:59:57,885 --> 00:59:59,044
to Young people?
837
00:59:59,204 --> 01:00:02,164
I'm serious,
one rarely gets to meet you people.
838
01:00:02,324 --> 01:00:04,684
And when you do,
it's usually all over.
839
01:00:06,085 --> 01:00:07,365
Where's the barrel?
840
01:00:08,884 --> 01:00:11,484
In your case, was it a vocation?
841
01:00:11,644 --> 01:00:13,806
A passion that became a profession?
842
01:00:13,965 --> 01:00:16,966
Or did a career counsellor orient you?
843
01:00:17,125 --> 01:00:21,005
Because it's obviously not a sideline,
you do a fine job.
844
01:00:21,165 --> 01:00:22,765
But then I thought,
845
01:00:22,925 --> 01:00:25,286
if you didn't choose it, why continue?
846
01:00:26,765 --> 01:00:28,125
Ok, ok!
847
01:00:29,045 --> 01:00:30,005
I'll talk.
848
01:00:30,165 --> 01:00:31,565
I feel like talking now.
849
01:00:36,967 --> 01:00:38,166
I'm listening.
850
01:00:40,007 --> 01:00:42,806
What if we decided to call it quits?
851
01:00:42,966 --> 01:00:46,086
Why don't we preach
love and fraternity instead?
852
01:00:46,567 --> 01:00:48,087
Too bad for you, Gaul.
853
01:00:54,046 --> 01:00:54,927
Yes?
854
01:00:55,527 --> 01:00:56,487
Who is it?
855
01:01:00,327 --> 01:01:01,447
A jolly good day.
856
01:01:01,607 --> 01:01:03,807
I thought you'd never get here!
857
01:01:03,968 --> 01:01:05,567
Free me, I'm burning up.
858
01:01:07,887 --> 01:01:09,127
What're you waiting for?
859
01:01:09,287 --> 01:01:13,647
I'm thinking about what you said.
Each man for himself...
860
01:01:13,807 --> 01:01:15,127
Obelix...
861
01:01:17,129 --> 01:01:19,688
Maybe we should take a breather.
862
01:01:20,049 --> 01:01:21,409
This isn't funny.
863
01:01:21,568 --> 01:01:24,169
It's cruel of me
to bring up ancient history.
864
01:01:24,328 --> 01:01:27,208
Let's go.
We'll leave Asterix alone...
865
01:01:27,808 --> 01:01:29,008
You want an apology?
866
01:01:29,168 --> 01:01:31,009
Ok! But not like this.
867
01:01:31,448 --> 01:01:32,448
Why not?
868
01:01:32,769 --> 01:01:35,689
It'll mean nothing.
I'll have done it under duress.
869
01:01:35,848 --> 01:01:38,250
Free me,
and I'll apologise of my own accord.
870
01:01:45,729 --> 01:01:49,889
It's crazy,
even their cranks turn the Wrong way!
871
01:01:50,529 --> 01:01:52,769
What about your apology?
872
01:01:54,689 --> 01:01:57,089
Goodbye, Pindepis.
Sorry about your plant.
873
01:01:57,249 --> 01:02:00,970
I kept the leaves. I'm sure
they'll continue bringing me good luck.
874
01:02:01,130 --> 01:02:03,251
Goodbye. And thanks again.
875
01:02:03,410 --> 01:02:04,690
Where's the barrel?
876
01:02:05,730 --> 01:02:06,850
Gone.
877
01:02:07,010 --> 01:02:08,851
Then we'd be wise to split up.
878
01:02:09,170 --> 01:02:11,731
I'll look for the barrel.
You, for Goudurix.
879
01:02:11,891 --> 01:02:13,251
Goudurix? Why Goudurix?
880
01:02:22,852 --> 01:02:24,811
You refuse to deliver your secret.
881
01:02:25,211 --> 01:02:26,972
No, I swear...
882
01:02:27,131 --> 01:02:30,412
We could cut him open to find his fear.
883
01:02:30,771 --> 01:02:31,931
Yeah. Cut him open.
884
01:02:32,811 --> 01:02:34,971
Cut him open! Cut him open!
885
01:02:36,371 --> 01:02:40,532
Enough fun and games.
Wake him up and take him to the cliff.
886
01:02:40,812 --> 01:02:43,332
I want to see a flight demonstration.
887
01:02:44,612 --> 01:02:45,692
Perfect.
888
01:02:46,492 --> 01:02:48,932
A cloud of milk
in your hot water, Mr. Tetedepiaf?
889
01:02:49,092 --> 01:02:50,533
Thank you, a spot.
890
01:02:50,932 --> 01:02:52,772
As you can see, Miss Macintosh
891
01:02:52,932 --> 01:02:56,252
has transformed Mr. Tetedepiaf
into a perfect gentleman.
892
01:02:56,612 --> 01:02:57,852
Unfortunately,
893
01:02:58,213 --> 01:03:00,973
he still refuses to say
where Goudurix was taken.
894
01:03:01,133 --> 01:03:03,092
Believe me when I say I'm sorry,
895
01:03:03,253 --> 01:03:06,813
but a gentleman never betrays
his companions-in-arms.
896
01:03:10,213 --> 01:03:14,053
We'll let him escape.
He'll lead us to his people.
897
01:03:16,373 --> 01:03:17,613
Miss Macintosh,
898
01:03:17,773 --> 01:03:20,974
could you come to the kitchen
with me for a minute?
899
01:03:28,614 --> 01:03:29,775
Say, Obelix...
900
01:03:30,455 --> 01:03:34,054
weren't we supposed to go
boar hunting in the forest?
901
01:03:35,494 --> 01:03:36,414
No, Why?
902
01:03:36,574 --> 01:03:38,214
Yes, I said to you,
903
01:03:38,894 --> 01:03:41,494
"Let's go boar hunting in the forest. "
904
01:03:42,174 --> 01:03:44,855
Oh yes, of course!
Let's go to the forest!
905
01:03:45,015 --> 01:03:45,774
There you go.
906
01:03:45,936 --> 01:03:48,935
Yes, let's go boar hunting
in the forest!
907
01:03:49,575 --> 01:03:51,255
That's what I said.
908
01:03:51,576 --> 01:03:52,936
Ready to go?
909
01:03:53,096 --> 01:03:54,295
Where?
910
01:03:57,216 --> 01:04:00,255
What? I know it's for fake.
911
01:04:09,856 --> 01:04:11,096
What do you want?
912
01:04:12,536 --> 01:04:16,096
Excuse me for disturbing you,
but is that your cart?
913
01:04:16,776 --> 01:04:18,457
What do you care?
914
01:04:18,857 --> 01:04:21,777
It contained some barrels
that were stolen from me.
915
01:04:22,297 --> 01:04:23,056
And?
916
01:04:23,216 --> 01:04:26,936
And I believe their disappearance
is not news to you.
917
01:04:27,097 --> 01:04:30,897
Are you insinuating
that I look like a thief?
918
01:04:32,417 --> 01:04:33,018
Well...
919
01:04:35,218 --> 01:04:36,178
Yes.
920
01:04:40,938 --> 01:04:42,657
Are we going to the forest?
921
01:05:23,419 --> 01:05:25,820
Ok, I'll take care of it.
922
01:05:27,819 --> 01:05:29,660
Have a seat, Mr. Tetedepiaf.
923
01:05:29,819 --> 01:05:31,619
I just wanted to know
924
01:05:31,779 --> 01:05:33,700
if you intended to stay for supper?
925
01:05:33,860 --> 01:05:35,780
Because if you did,
926
01:05:35,941 --> 01:05:39,261
I shall need to do
some extra grocery shopping.
927
01:05:41,141 --> 01:05:43,140
I would truly be delighted.
928
01:05:43,300 --> 01:05:45,460
Unfortunately, I have another date.
929
01:06:07,821 --> 01:06:09,581
I didn't quite get that.
930
01:06:09,741 --> 01:06:13,262
It's simple. I hinted that
he was not expected for supper
931
01:06:13,421 --> 01:06:16,823
and like a perfect gentleman,
he did not wish to abuse my hospitality
932
01:06:17,343 --> 01:06:19,143
and so he left.
933
01:06:19,303 --> 01:06:20,182
That's all.
934
01:06:20,503 --> 01:06:22,262
That's all.
935
01:06:30,143 --> 01:06:31,422
A jolly good day to you.
936
01:06:32,023 --> 01:06:33,423
Likewise.
937
01:06:39,704 --> 01:06:41,063
Oh no...
938
01:07:00,744 --> 01:07:01,825
No!
939
01:07:03,425 --> 01:07:06,465
No! I'll do anything you want!
940
01:07:06,625 --> 01:07:08,304
I'll learn Norman! Eat seal!
941
01:07:08,984 --> 01:07:10,944
Dye my hair blond!
Don't throw me!
942
01:07:11,105 --> 01:07:12,105
Have mercy!
943
01:07:12,264 --> 01:07:15,344
- What's "mercy"?
- Another of their inventions.
944
01:07:16,944 --> 01:07:20,545
You fly down there, make a turn,
then land over there.
945
01:07:20,706 --> 01:07:22,506
Don't worry about the itinerary.
946
01:07:22,666 --> 01:07:23,825
It's all mapped out.
947
01:07:24,306 --> 01:07:25,666
Ok, go.
948
01:07:29,545 --> 01:07:30,586
No!
949
01:07:30,746 --> 01:07:31,465
Look!
950
01:07:32,666 --> 01:07:33,506
Tetedepiaf!
951
01:07:42,706 --> 01:07:45,027
A jolly good day to you, Chief.
952
01:07:45,186 --> 01:07:47,907
May this humble bouquet
touch your heart.
953
01:07:48,386 --> 01:07:49,586
In any case,
954
01:07:49,746 --> 01:07:51,346
I picked it with love.
955
01:07:55,746 --> 01:07:58,826
We're not here
to taste the local specialties.
956
01:07:59,066 --> 01:07:59,986
Where were you?
957
01:08:00,146 --> 01:08:02,067
I was a guest in a fine home
958
01:08:02,227 --> 01:08:04,947
where the hospitality
was irreproachable.
959
01:08:05,107 --> 01:08:06,148
But no matter...
960
01:08:06,507 --> 01:08:09,867
I'm unspeakably happy
to see you all again.
961
01:08:11,787 --> 01:08:13,187
You're right, no sentimentality.
962
01:08:15,347 --> 01:08:17,228
Okay, let's go...
963
01:08:18,707 --> 01:08:19,947
He's been bewitched.
964
01:08:20,108 --> 01:08:21,027
Bewitched!
965
01:08:22,628 --> 01:08:25,228
No, you're mistaken.
I wasn't bewitched,
966
01:08:25,388 --> 01:08:26,589
I was educated.
967
01:08:27,188 --> 01:08:27,868
Educated?
968
01:08:28,028 --> 01:08:29,589
Indeed. Educated.
969
01:08:30,188 --> 01:08:31,069
BY Who?
970
01:08:32,029 --> 01:08:32,749
By her...
971
01:08:36,068 --> 01:08:38,708
She'll educate us too!
Like Tetedepiaf!
972
01:08:40,429 --> 01:08:41,909
You there!
973
01:08:43,029 --> 01:08:45,269
Come here so I can punish you!
974
01:08:45,829 --> 01:08:47,390
What's happening to us?
975
01:08:47,550 --> 01:08:49,829
- My body's trembling!
- I'm sweating!
976
01:08:49,990 --> 01:08:51,069
I have a stomach ache!
977
01:08:51,230 --> 01:08:53,430
That means we're afraid!
978
01:08:57,469 --> 01:08:58,549
Follow me!
979
01:08:58,709 --> 01:09:01,589
Now that we've mastered fear,
we'll fly away.
980
01:09:07,271 --> 01:09:08,111
Hey you!
981
01:09:55,593 --> 01:09:57,112
Get back here!
982
01:09:57,272 --> 01:09:59,553
Savage! Brutish lout!
Moron!
983
01:10:00,233 --> 01:10:01,313
You and your people
984
01:10:01,473 --> 01:10:03,152
are backward beasts!
985
01:10:03,312 --> 01:10:06,912
Savages, vandals, pigs!
What am I saying?
986
01:10:07,073 --> 01:10:10,433
Bacon on legs
with cottage cheese brains!
987
01:10:12,714 --> 01:10:14,713
And all that sort of thing.
988
01:10:23,753 --> 01:10:27,473
I'm so hungry
I could eat my own stomach.
989
01:10:29,113 --> 01:10:30,994
How would you digest it?
990
01:10:31,154 --> 01:10:32,954
A new message from Jolitorax.
991
01:10:33,114 --> 01:10:36,035
Thank God!
I hope he'll soon be here.
992
01:10:36,195 --> 01:10:39,354
"I hope Her Majesty is well
and in good health. "
993
01:10:39,514 --> 01:10:42,554
"The weather here is mild
with scattered showers,
994
01:10:42,714 --> 01:10:43,995
but nothing worrying. "
995
01:10:44,795 --> 01:10:47,074
"Your faithful servant, Jolitorax. "
996
01:10:48,274 --> 01:10:50,394
Send a message to Jolitorax.
997
01:10:50,555 --> 01:10:53,476
I want to know where that barrel is.
998
01:11:07,915 --> 01:11:09,555
Mr. Obelix...
999
01:11:10,075 --> 01:11:10,716
Yes?
1000
01:11:10,876 --> 01:11:14,636
Would you have the good grace
to forget what you saw and heard
1001
01:11:14,796 --> 01:11:16,077
by the cliff earlier?
1002
01:11:16,237 --> 01:11:19,716
You can count on me.
I'll be as mute as a dolmen.
1003
01:11:20,676 --> 01:11:22,716
Thank you, Mr. Obelix.
1004
01:11:24,116 --> 01:11:27,356
It would seem
that you are a gentleman after all.
1005
01:11:30,637 --> 01:11:32,677
That's not enough! I need four!
1006
01:11:32,837 --> 01:11:34,037
One, two, three and four!
1007
01:11:34,357 --> 01:11:36,277
The 8th Legion arrives in six days.
1008
01:11:36,437 --> 01:11:39,157
Too long!
Tell them to step up the pace.
1009
01:11:39,437 --> 01:11:42,237
The men haven't slept
under a roof in weeks.
1010
01:11:42,398 --> 01:11:45,357
So what? This is the country.
Camping's fun, no?
1011
01:11:45,517 --> 01:11:48,677
A message from Langelus:
"Build fortification. "
1012
01:11:48,838 --> 01:11:50,238
No time!
Let me talk to him!
1013
01:11:50,397 --> 01:11:52,317
Hello, Langelus?
1014
01:11:52,477 --> 01:11:53,557
Hello?
1015
01:11:54,997 --> 01:11:56,519
Lang... It doesn't work.
1016
01:11:57,799 --> 01:11:59,078
It doesn't work!
1017
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:43,360
I'll never understand women.
1018
01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:46,881
If you don't look, you don't find.
1019
01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:49,120
But you can't look too hard either.
1020
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:52,361
So you have to look without looking
1021
01:12:52,521 --> 01:12:54,600
while pretending not to look.
1022
01:12:55,960 --> 01:12:57,800
That's over my head.
1023
01:13:00,162 --> 01:13:01,601
What do you say?
1024
01:13:01,921 --> 01:13:03,001
I think women...
1025
01:13:03,161 --> 01:13:04,682
No, shut up.
1026
01:13:05,802 --> 01:13:06,961
I like it better.
1027
01:13:09,041 --> 01:13:09,881
Well?
1028
01:13:10,042 --> 01:13:12,001
I think I know where the barrel is.
1029
01:13:12,161 --> 01:13:15,881
It was sold to an innkeeper
who sold it to the Camulodunum team.
1030
01:13:16,041 --> 01:13:17,121
The team of what?
1031
01:13:17,281 --> 01:13:18,881
A typically British sport
1032
01:13:19,041 --> 01:13:22,202
where two teams of 15 players
fight over a bladder.
1033
01:13:22,523 --> 01:13:23,643
Sounds like fun.
1034
01:13:23,802 --> 01:13:26,202
Camulodunum is playing today.
1035
01:13:26,363 --> 01:13:28,322
The barrel's sure to be there.
1036
01:13:28,482 --> 01:13:30,162
I'll get Obelix and we're off.
1037
01:13:36,403 --> 01:13:38,163
I challenge you to a duel.
1038
01:13:39,482 --> 01:13:42,804
You have no idea
what I've been through. So just...
1039
01:13:43,683 --> 01:13:45,603
Take that sword and fight, coward!
1040
01:13:46,404 --> 01:13:47,884
Are you nuts? That hurt!
1041
01:13:48,044 --> 01:13:48,844
What's going on?
1042
01:13:49,323 --> 01:13:51,843
I fear this is a private matter.
1043
01:13:58,044 --> 01:13:59,923
I think he's using psychology.
1044
01:14:00,323 --> 01:14:02,444
- What if something happens?
- We'll explain.
1045
01:14:09,124 --> 01:14:10,044
Well?
1046
01:14:11,004 --> 01:14:13,125
We'll explain it.
1047
01:14:13,484 --> 01:14:15,605
Does your cowardice know no limits?
1048
01:14:16,045 --> 01:14:17,484
It's not cowardice!
1049
01:14:17,645 --> 01:14:21,044
Please,
don't claim your honour is at stake.
1050
01:14:21,205 --> 01:14:23,604
You merely wish
to appease your jealousy.
1051
01:14:24,004 --> 01:14:25,486
I think she's got a point.
1052
01:14:25,646 --> 01:14:27,806
You are prompt to criticise me again.
1053
01:14:27,966 --> 01:14:30,126
And you persist in shirking your duty.
1054
01:14:30,286 --> 01:14:32,606
- What do you mean?
- Seems obvious to me.
1055
01:14:33,805 --> 01:14:35,646
You really are too stupid.
1056
01:14:35,805 --> 01:14:37,725
So be it! Kill him!
1057
01:14:38,845 --> 01:14:42,405
But if you do, you shall lose
all credibility in my eyes.
1058
01:14:43,245 --> 01:14:46,607
True courage is not
killing a young fool in a duel...
1059
01:14:46,767 --> 01:14:48,807
It's daring to look a woman in the eye
1060
01:14:48,966 --> 01:14:51,486
and tell her your feelings.
1061
01:15:03,686 --> 01:15:06,647
Women, women, women...
1062
01:15:07,086 --> 01:15:10,087
Weak and disappointing creatures.
1063
01:15:12,327 --> 01:15:16,167
She's right, it's important
to express your feelings.
1064
01:15:16,327 --> 01:15:17,208
Really?
1065
01:15:17,367 --> 01:15:19,287
Yeah. If you love her, tell her.
1066
01:15:19,447 --> 01:15:21,247
Let it all hang out, old man.
1067
01:15:23,768 --> 01:15:25,087
Ophelia?
1068
01:15:30,889 --> 01:15:33,448
I wanted to tell you
about my feelings.
1069
01:15:37,928 --> 01:15:39,368
Miss Macintosh.
1070
01:15:41,928 --> 01:15:44,049
Jolly nice day, eh what?
1071
01:15:45,969 --> 01:15:48,849
I feel totally empty.
1072
01:15:49,129 --> 01:15:50,609
I have no energy.
1073
01:15:50,770 --> 01:15:53,410
I've encountered obstacles in the past,
1074
01:15:53,569 --> 01:15:56,369
but usually,
the desire to conquer wins out.
1075
01:15:56,530 --> 01:15:59,290
This time, my batteries are dead.
1076
01:15:59,889 --> 01:16:01,689
This desire to conquer...
1077
01:16:01,849 --> 01:16:03,769
What does it evoke?
1078
01:16:03,930 --> 01:16:06,690
Power and glory. I won't lie to you.
1079
01:16:06,850 --> 01:16:07,689
Power?
1080
01:16:08,770 --> 01:16:11,651
Dominating others. Subjugating them.
1081
01:16:11,810 --> 01:16:15,091
And also, I like it when people
are indebted towards me.
1082
01:16:15,690 --> 01:16:18,371
For example, I enjoy granting pardons.
1083
01:16:19,250 --> 01:16:22,611
When a condemned man
is about to be executed,
1084
01:16:22,771 --> 01:16:25,410
I show up at the last minute
and pardon him.
1085
01:16:25,570 --> 01:16:28,371
I like that a lot.
Yes, I like that a lot.
1086
01:16:28,531 --> 01:16:30,050
It's very pleasant.
1087
01:16:57,612 --> 01:16:58,813
What are the rules?
1088
01:16:58,973 --> 01:16:59,933
It's simple.
1089
01:17:00,092 --> 01:17:03,932
Each team must carry the bladder
over the other team's goal line.
1090
01:17:04,092 --> 01:17:05,933
Almost anything's allowed,
1091
01:17:06,093 --> 01:17:08,052
except the use of weapons.
1092
01:17:08,212 --> 01:17:10,453
Unless there's a prior agreement.
1093
01:17:15,414 --> 01:17:16,813
The stadium is too big.
1094
01:17:16,973 --> 01:17:19,134
We need a man at every exit.
1095
01:17:19,293 --> 01:17:20,894
Hey, I'm the one who decides.
1096
01:17:22,613 --> 01:17:25,134
The stadium is too big.
We'll change tactics.
1097
01:17:25,574 --> 01:17:26,973
You, you and you...
1098
01:17:27,293 --> 01:17:28,574
watch the other exits.
1099
01:17:28,734 --> 01:17:30,374
You, go for reinforcements.
1100
01:17:30,973 --> 01:17:32,534
Excellent idea!
1101
01:17:51,814 --> 01:17:53,054
Look! What's he doing?
1102
01:17:58,776 --> 01:17:59,976
You're out!
1103
01:18:00,855 --> 01:18:02,815
That is not a gentleman.
1104
01:18:24,576 --> 01:18:26,017
This is great.
1105
01:18:49,498 --> 01:18:52,218
That's the magic potion
or some very good wine.
1106
01:19:06,899 --> 01:19:09,338
We've been through hard times.
1107
01:19:10,059 --> 01:19:13,018
But today,
unless the sky falls on our heads...
1108
01:19:13,178 --> 01:19:14,818
- What's that noise?
- What?
1109
01:19:14,979 --> 01:19:17,098
I said, what's that whistling?
1110
01:19:20,379 --> 01:19:21,019
Oh no...
1111
01:19:25,020 --> 01:19:28,740
I'm tired. I'm so tired.
1112
01:19:31,939 --> 01:19:34,299
Excuse me. This barrel is ours,
we'd like it back.
1113
01:19:34,460 --> 01:19:35,740
In the name of Rome!
1114
01:19:35,899 --> 01:19:37,380
I requisition that barrel.
1115
01:19:37,699 --> 01:19:39,059
Take the barrel and run.
1116
01:19:41,699 --> 01:19:43,100
It's my barrel.
1117
01:19:43,619 --> 01:19:44,820
Let go!
1118
01:19:49,060 --> 01:19:50,300
Let's go.
1119
01:19:54,381 --> 01:19:55,461
Halt!
1120
01:19:56,100 --> 01:19:57,420
In the name of Rome!
1121
01:19:57,580 --> 01:19:58,260
Halt!
1122
01:20:04,020 --> 01:20:06,302
- Give me the bladder.
- No, I want to score.
1123
01:20:17,382 --> 01:20:18,581
Take to the river!
1124
01:20:22,301 --> 01:20:23,462
Charge!
1125
01:20:24,501 --> 01:20:25,981
Catch them!
1126
01:20:57,344 --> 01:20:58,063
This is no good.
1127
01:21:25,784 --> 01:21:26,945
Pindepis?
1128
01:21:27,944 --> 01:21:30,345
- What're you doing here?
- The Romans recaptured me.
1129
01:21:30,506 --> 01:21:33,786
They forced me to join their army.
1130
01:21:34,105 --> 01:21:36,106
Take that off and come with us.
1131
01:21:36,266 --> 01:21:38,505
Ok, and now what?
1132
01:21:38,665 --> 01:21:41,066
We break the bad news to the Queen.
1133
01:21:41,226 --> 01:21:42,826
Let us waste no time.
1134
01:21:42,986 --> 01:21:44,145
Not me.
1135
01:21:44,425 --> 01:21:45,986
What do you mean "not me"?
1136
01:21:47,025 --> 01:21:50,865
I promised Miss Macintosh
I'd attend a hot water party
1137
01:21:51,025 --> 01:21:52,546
with her girlfriends.
1138
01:21:52,867 --> 01:21:54,546
- You're joking.
- No.
1139
01:21:54,706 --> 01:21:57,586
I promised.
And a gentleman honours his promises.
1140
01:21:57,947 --> 01:21:59,666
That's enough, Obelix.
1141
01:21:59,827 --> 01:22:03,386
I recall we're on a mission.
That's your duty!
1142
01:22:03,547 --> 01:22:07,947
You cannot understand the sentiments
that bind Miss Macintosh and me.
1143
01:22:10,707 --> 01:22:12,307
Oh, I see!
1144
01:22:12,467 --> 01:22:15,947
Sire has sentiments now, does he?
1145
01:22:16,107 --> 01:22:18,348
Sire has become a gentleman?
1146
01:22:20,428 --> 01:22:22,027
You know what I think?
1147
01:22:23,748 --> 01:22:24,747
You're pathetic.
1148
01:22:26,107 --> 01:22:27,828
Pathetic and grotesque.
1149
01:22:29,147 --> 01:22:29,748
Very well.
1150
01:22:32,788 --> 01:22:33,868
Obelix!
1151
01:22:34,669 --> 01:22:36,508
I'll take care of this.
1152
01:22:36,668 --> 01:22:38,468
Obelix... Wait!
1153
01:22:57,509 --> 01:22:59,510
I think he really is angry.
1154
01:23:08,349 --> 01:23:09,349
This looks like doomsday.
1155
01:23:09,510 --> 01:23:12,830
It would seem that the siege
has been trying, eh what?
1156
01:23:12,989 --> 01:23:15,629
We can't tell them
we have no magic potion!
1157
01:23:15,789 --> 01:23:17,071
Calm down, Goudurix.
1158
01:23:17,631 --> 01:23:18,750
Very funny.
1159
01:23:18,910 --> 01:23:21,071
They'll either commit suicide
or lynch us.
1160
01:23:21,230 --> 01:23:25,191
Gentlemen, I'm happy
you are amongst us at last.
1161
01:23:25,350 --> 01:23:27,430
I'm impatient to see the effects
1162
01:23:27,590 --> 01:23:29,551
of your famous magic potion.
1163
01:23:34,791 --> 01:23:38,312
In regard to the magic potion,
Your Majesty...
1164
01:23:38,592 --> 01:23:42,432
We brought back a large quantity
in a barrel...
1165
01:23:44,591 --> 01:23:46,511
which is currently...
1166
01:23:46,672 --> 01:23:48,431
at the bottom of the Thames.
1167
01:23:51,871 --> 01:23:53,672
But it doesn't matter, Your Majesty.
1168
01:23:53,832 --> 01:23:54,471
Oh really?
1169
01:23:55,231 --> 01:23:55,831
Oh really?
1170
01:23:55,992 --> 01:23:57,191
Oh really?
1171
01:23:57,351 --> 01:24:01,472
I have the ingredients to make enough
for the entire village.
1172
01:24:01,633 --> 01:24:04,072
What jolly good news.
You almost scared me.
1173
01:24:05,913 --> 01:24:10,912
If you would kindly have a large
cauldron of boiling water prepared...
1174
01:24:13,873 --> 01:24:16,033
I admit I do not understand.
1175
01:24:16,392 --> 01:24:18,353
We have to fake it.
1176
01:24:18,712 --> 01:24:19,552
Pindepis...
1177
01:24:19,712 --> 01:24:22,313
How much of your plant
do you have left?
1178
01:24:25,074 --> 01:24:25,713
This much.
1179
01:24:26,714 --> 01:24:28,234
I need it.
1180
01:24:31,313 --> 01:24:32,354
This is all I have.
1181
01:24:33,153 --> 01:24:34,154
I know.
1182
01:24:40,233 --> 01:24:41,834
So...
1183
01:24:41,994 --> 01:24:46,394
I hear you are endowed
with exceptional strength, Mr. Obelix.
1184
01:24:47,634 --> 01:24:50,794
I try to keep myself in shape,
nothing more.
1185
01:24:50,954 --> 01:24:51,995
Do YOU play a sport?
1186
01:24:52,154 --> 01:24:54,074
Our boys start sports very young.
1187
01:24:54,234 --> 01:24:55,914
It fortifies them.
1188
01:24:56,075 --> 01:24:58,955
More important,
it instils a sense of camaraderie.
1189
01:24:59,395 --> 01:25:02,795
Personally, I think that friendship
1190
01:25:02,955 --> 01:25:05,956
is by far the strongest bond
between two people.
1191
01:25:06,275 --> 01:25:08,596
What do you think, Mr. Obelix?
1192
01:25:12,716 --> 01:25:16,956
Our friend would like to know
whether you think that friendship
1193
01:25:17,115 --> 01:25:19,556
is the strongest bond
between two people?
1194
01:25:29,037 --> 01:25:30,316
Asterix...
1195
01:25:43,316 --> 01:25:45,156
Once again,
1196
01:25:45,317 --> 01:25:47,837
Roman discipline triumphs
over barbarian chaos.
1197
01:25:49,757 --> 01:25:52,078
The fanatical Gaul commando squad,
1198
01:25:52,237 --> 01:25:55,517
who underhandedly tried to rally
the British rebels,
1199
01:25:55,677 --> 01:25:56,917
has been wiped out.
1200
01:25:57,077 --> 01:25:59,557
And their so-called
secret weapon destroyed!
1201
01:26:00,678 --> 01:26:02,237
The time has come
1202
01:26:02,397 --> 01:26:04,958
to wipe out the terrorist village!
1203
01:26:35,640 --> 01:26:36,279
It's ready.
1204
01:26:36,999 --> 01:26:40,200
I say, it's far simpler than I thought.
1205
01:26:43,959 --> 01:26:45,199
Gentlemen, please...
1206
01:26:51,681 --> 01:26:52,760
Excellent
1207
01:26:53,521 --> 01:26:56,880
Very invigorating.
I'm already feeling the effects.
1208
01:26:57,041 --> 01:26:59,600
Might I have a cloud of milk
with my potion?
1209
01:27:00,921 --> 01:27:02,841
Attack formation!
1210
01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:04,400
Attack formation!
1211
01:27:22,801 --> 01:27:25,241
Forward... march!
1212
01:27:48,522 --> 01:27:50,322
Legions! Halt!
1213
01:27:52,802 --> 01:27:53,724
Ave, Roman.
1214
01:27:54,283 --> 01:27:57,244
Hey, I just wanted to play fair
as the Brits say...
1215
01:27:57,404 --> 01:28:00,284
We have the magic potion,
so you can still surrender.
1216
01:28:01,203 --> 01:28:03,803
I know him!
He's one of the invincible Gauls.
1217
01:28:04,203 --> 01:28:06,324
Yes, I'm afraid so.
1218
01:28:07,323 --> 01:28:08,764
What are they doing?
1219
01:28:09,044 --> 01:28:10,444
What are they doing!
1220
01:28:12,484 --> 01:28:14,004
Fall in!
1221
01:28:14,164 --> 01:28:15,564
Fall in!
1222
01:28:15,724 --> 01:28:17,845
- I thought they were dead!
- He's alive.
1223
01:28:18,005 --> 01:28:21,324
- His fat friend can't be far.
- Hush, he's super-sensitive.
1224
01:28:21,484 --> 01:28:24,644
If the Britons have the magic potion,
we're goners.
1225
01:28:27,804 --> 01:28:29,444
I think they're ripe. Ready?
1226
01:28:32,405 --> 01:28:35,245
I say. Your friend doesn't look well.
1227
01:28:38,126 --> 01:28:38,725
Excuse me.
1228
01:28:40,206 --> 01:28:41,325
I'll be right back.
1229
01:28:41,925 --> 01:28:42,966
Something wrong?
1230
01:28:43,125 --> 01:28:46,246
I was thinking,
maybe I'll just wait for you here.
1231
01:28:47,365 --> 01:28:49,445
- Goudurix...
- They'll slaughter us!
1232
01:28:49,605 --> 01:28:53,685
Listen to me. What we gave them
wasn't magic potion, it was hope,
1233
01:28:53,845 --> 01:28:55,325
and that's all they have.
1234
01:28:55,485 --> 01:28:58,967
If we lose heart, so will they.
Is that what you want?
1235
01:29:08,126 --> 01:29:10,606
The time has come to become a man.
1236
01:29:12,687 --> 01:29:14,487
Afterwards, it'll be too late.
1237
01:29:34,768 --> 01:29:36,008
Stay in formation!
1238
01:29:40,969 --> 01:29:42,049
They'll slaughter us!
1239
01:29:48,128 --> 01:29:49,128
Close ranks!
1240
01:29:51,369 --> 01:29:52,808
Close ranks!
1241
01:30:23,171 --> 01:30:26,250
They don't have magic powers!
They're bluffing.
1242
01:30:26,410 --> 01:30:28,050
They don't have magic powers.
1243
01:30:28,210 --> 01:30:30,451
Close ranks! Attack!
1244
01:30:30,810 --> 01:30:32,050
They're bluffing!
1245
01:30:55,491 --> 01:30:56,691
What the...
1246
01:30:58,172 --> 01:30:59,051
What is that?
1247
01:31:06,533 --> 01:31:07,613
Obelix?
1248
01:31:10,493 --> 01:31:11,572
Obelix!
1249
01:31:11,733 --> 01:31:12,853
Wait.
1250
01:31:14,053 --> 01:31:17,933
One, you have no right
to decide what's good for me.
1251
01:31:19,573 --> 01:31:21,613
I want that to be very clear.
1252
01:31:22,532 --> 01:31:23,813
As for what you said,
1253
01:31:23,973 --> 01:31:27,134
that I'm a burden...
that you'd sacrificed everything...
1254
01:31:27,293 --> 01:31:28,214
Come on, Obelix...
1255
01:31:28,373 --> 01:31:29,734
I've thought about it.
1256
01:31:29,893 --> 01:31:31,173
It's not a sacrifice.
1257
01:31:31,334 --> 01:31:34,293
A sacrifice is when
you get nothing in return.
1258
01:31:34,453 --> 01:31:36,014
But you can't say that.
1259
01:31:36,174 --> 01:31:37,814
Because you know what you get?
1260
01:31:39,533 --> 01:31:40,773
You get a friend.
1261
01:31:46,974 --> 01:31:48,174
Obelix...
1262
01:31:48,335 --> 01:31:50,374
I'm ashamed about what happened.
1263
01:31:54,655 --> 01:31:56,494
Nothing happened.
1264
01:31:57,054 --> 01:31:58,095
Nothing happened.
1265
01:32:03,934 --> 01:32:06,254
I'm terribly sorry to interrupt...
1266
01:32:06,414 --> 01:32:09,255
But what do we do about them?
1267
01:32:39,657 --> 01:32:40,256
No!
1268
01:32:56,217 --> 01:32:57,498
I'm here!
1269
01:33:22,898 --> 01:33:25,739
That's that.
Let's wrap it up and go home.
1270
01:33:33,658 --> 01:33:38,179
My dear Gauls,
all Britain is grateful to you.
1271
01:33:47,380 --> 01:33:48,739
How cool. Thanks.
1272
01:33:59,741 --> 01:34:00,701
Thank you, Your Majesty.
1273
01:34:00,861 --> 01:34:03,701
But you owe your victory
to your courage alone.
1274
01:34:03,861 --> 01:34:05,541
It wasn't magic potion.
1275
01:34:06,100 --> 01:34:07,461
I guessed as much.
1276
01:34:07,620 --> 01:34:09,420
However, I tasted the concoction
1277
01:34:09,820 --> 01:34:11,220
and found it delicious.
1278
01:34:11,381 --> 01:34:12,460
What plant was it?
1279
01:34:14,861 --> 01:34:18,221
It's a plant that is widely used
in my country.
1280
01:34:18,382 --> 01:34:20,821
We call it "tea".
1281
01:34:22,181 --> 01:34:26,382
Well then, as of today,
I declare tea our national beverage.
1282
01:34:29,622 --> 01:34:32,382
Mr. Pindepis,
I wish to order 4,000 tons.
1283
01:34:37,302 --> 01:34:38,423
Thank you.
1284
01:34:39,902 --> 01:34:41,542
And you, Sir Jolitorax,
1285
01:34:41,902 --> 01:34:45,062
for your courage, for your valour,
1286
01:34:45,543 --> 01:34:48,062
and most importantly,
1287
01:34:48,222 --> 01:34:50,702
for promoting
the values of our great land,
1288
01:34:50,862 --> 01:34:52,823
I name you
1289
01:34:53,263 --> 01:34:55,423
Peer of the Realm.
1290
01:35:00,384 --> 01:35:01,904
Thank you, Your Majesty.
1291
01:35:02,063 --> 01:35:03,623
I would like, in turn,
1292
01:35:03,863 --> 01:35:06,664
to pay homage to the woman
who inspired me
1293
01:35:06,824 --> 01:35:09,144
throughout this long adventure...
1294
01:35:10,023 --> 01:35:12,744
Whose exceptional
and plentiful qualities
1295
01:35:13,384 --> 01:35:15,223
command my admiration
1296
01:35:16,024 --> 01:35:17,343
and my respect...
1297
01:35:17,504 --> 01:35:21,304
Whose radiant beauty
dazzles so brightly
1298
01:35:21,465 --> 01:35:23,385
that she could, all alone,
1299
01:35:23,545 --> 01:35:26,944
serve as a beacon
to ships lost in the fog...
1300
01:35:27,105 --> 01:35:28,785
Whose graceful figure
1301
01:35:28,944 --> 01:35:31,584
promises voluptuous delights...
1302
01:35:31,744 --> 01:35:33,384
and whose sensual lips
1303
01:35:34,064 --> 01:35:36,664
cry out for passionate embraces.
1304
01:35:36,825 --> 01:35:41,064
She who is my joy, my folly,
she who makes my head spin...
1305
01:35:42,105 --> 01:35:45,705
Ophelia, I waited far too long
to make this declaration,
1306
01:35:45,865 --> 01:35:48,305
I love you.
Nothing would make me happier...
1307
01:35:48,465 --> 01:35:50,665
Oh, shut up and kiss me!
1308
01:36:17,946 --> 01:36:19,546
I'm in for trouble.
1309
01:36:24,346 --> 01:36:25,708
Mr. Obelix!
1310
01:36:26,987 --> 01:36:27,907
Yes?
1311
01:36:28,988 --> 01:36:32,268
When a gentleman
abandons a lady, slap bang
1312
01:36:32,428 --> 01:36:34,708
in the midst of a social event,
1313
01:36:35,148 --> 01:36:39,707
humiliating the lady and inflicting
the mockery of her friends...
1314
01:36:39,867 --> 01:36:44,908
the affront is so great that he cannot
be considered a gentleman...
1315
01:36:47,028 --> 01:36:48,228
Unless,
1316
01:36:48,388 --> 01:36:51,428
of course,
Her Majesty's safety is at stake.
1317
01:36:51,589 --> 01:36:53,949
In that case, and in that case only,
1318
01:36:54,108 --> 01:36:58,668
he can, very exceptionally, be excused.
1319
01:36:59,348 --> 01:37:00,308
Thank you.
1320
01:37:00,748 --> 01:37:02,029
But...
1321
01:37:02,948 --> 01:37:07,148
I think that deep down, I'm a real Gaul.
1322
01:37:07,309 --> 01:37:08,870
And I a real Briton.
1323
01:37:10,230 --> 01:37:14,269
The time has come
for us to say farewell, Obelix.
1324
01:37:14,750 --> 01:37:17,589
And in the name of everything
we have shared,
1325
01:37:19,509 --> 01:37:20,709
I shall lay aside
1326
01:37:21,429 --> 01:37:23,670
the principles of my education
1327
01:37:23,830 --> 01:37:26,229
and allow myself to...
1328
01:37:27,589 --> 01:37:28,911
shake your hand.
1329
01:37:46,431 --> 01:37:47,590
It's...
1330
01:37:52,391 --> 01:37:56,472
In any case,
I'll never be the same again.
1331
01:37:57,312 --> 01:38:00,911
You'll see, Asterix,
you'll fall in love one clay too.
1332
01:38:03,352 --> 01:38:06,391
Ok, ok. I've made lots of contacts.
1333
01:38:10,592 --> 01:38:11,833
I'm so happy-
1334
01:38:15,273 --> 01:38:16,873
It's extraordinary.
1335
01:38:29,273 --> 01:38:32,352
The energy here is amazing,
don't you think?
1336
01:38:34,513 --> 01:38:35,434
Excuse me?
1337
01:38:36,033 --> 01:38:39,154
I said, the energy here is amazing.
1338
01:38:47,673 --> 01:38:49,233
Forgive me, O Caesar,
1339
01:38:49,394 --> 01:38:52,913
but for the end of the chapter
on the British campaign...
1340
01:38:53,674 --> 01:38:54,834
what should I write?
1341
01:38:56,194 --> 01:38:59,155
After several weeks of siege,
1342
01:38:59,874 --> 01:39:04,235
the Queen of the Britons
and her soldiers surrendered to Caesar,
1343
01:39:04,394 --> 01:39:07,314
who, showing magnanimity,
spared their lives
1344
01:39:07,474 --> 01:39:09,754
and sailed onto new conquests.
1345
01:39:10,314 --> 01:39:10,994
But...
1346
01:39:11,154 --> 01:39:12,674
What? Is something wrong?
1347
01:39:12,835 --> 01:39:13,874
No, no...
1348
01:39:15,155 --> 01:39:17,435
"The Adventures of Asterix... "
1349
01:39:18,316 --> 01:39:19,596
Now I've heard it all.