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Welcome to Hazzard County.
2
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A little corner of the world where
everyone knows everyone else...
3
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...and people are never too busy
to stop and say howdy.
4
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Shoot, some folks even say this is
where the apple pie was invented.
5
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Yep, basically everything down here
moves a little bit slower...
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...unless, of course,
your last name is Duke.
7
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Man, the General's in good shape.
8
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Bo, it's happy hour at The Boar's Nest,
and we still got two deliveries to make.
9
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lt's all one big happy hour, Luke.
Besides, we're taking a shortcut.
10
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Hi, Luke.
11
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-l got this one.
-You sure that's a good idea, cuz?
12
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lt's a great idea. Come on.
13
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Hey, Laurie.
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-You here to make your delivery?
-Well, l was hoping to.
15
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Luke, remember last time.
16
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Don't worry about it, cuz.
17
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lt's okay, Bo. Pa ain't here.
18
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See, Bo? Pa ain't here.
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-Hi.
-Hi.
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Play hard to get, little buddy.
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Listen and learn, General.
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And now, side two
of the Al Unser, Jr. story:
23
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No Questions, Only Unsers,
as read by Laurence Fishburne.
24
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""I'm too old for this shit. ""
25
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That's what I was thinking
as I turned into the final lap...
26
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...running fourth at Talladega.
27
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But then it hit me.
Life is like a racetrack.
28
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You gotta keep going
round and round.
29
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-That is so true.
-Sure, sometimes you crash and burn.
30
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But if you don 't make the turn,
you ain 't never gonna learn.
31
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So I gripped the wheel tighter,
checked my gauges, and made my move.
32
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Make my move. Give you my move.
Make it, mother--
33
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-Jesus Christ!
-Howdy, Bo.
34
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Hey, Mr. Pullman.
l nearly shit myself.
35
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-How you doing, sir?
-Oh, l'm fine.
36
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You ready for that big
Hazzard Rally this weekend?
37
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Yeah, l got him all tuned up.
Right, General?
38
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How many times
you won that, anyway?
39
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-Four in a row, sir.
-Four in a row.
40
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That's good. Billy Prickett won it four in
a row, and look what he's doing today.
41
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-Hey, you been hunting?
-Yes, sir.
42
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Yeah, l been using
those new whammy shells.
43
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They scatter less for when you really
wanna blow a hole in something.
44
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-Cool. Guns.
-Yeah.
45
00:03:44,853 --> 00:03:47,287
Are you delivering
all by yourself today?
46
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Oh, no. l never travel alone, sir.
47
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l like to think l travel
with the man upstairs.
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You know, Jesus.
49
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You know, l like that attitude.
50
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l'm gonna look around
and find a boy like you. . .
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. . .to date my daughter,
Laurie, pretty soon.
52
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Because she's getting curious
about boys, you know.
53
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Yeah.
54
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Oh, you're talking about sex, right?
55
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l just wanna keep that
sorry cousin of yours away from her.
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The way he looks at her galls me.
You know what l mean?
57
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You get back here right now,
you son of a bitch.
58
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Get back here.
59
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Luke! Luke!
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-Why you running, you chickenshit?
-Goddamn Dukes.
61
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You get the hell off my sister.
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-Jimmy!
-Oh, shit.
63
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Damn you, Luke!
You get back in the house!
64
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-Go, Bo, go!
-Luke, wait!
65
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-Put on a shirt!
-Come on, come on, come on.
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l forgot about the brother. Go!
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So happy hour?
68
00:04:48,973 --> 00:04:51,692
-You're gonna get us shot someday.
-Not today.
69
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Not with you driving the getaway car.
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-So how was it?
-lt's never bad.
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Son of a bitch.
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Here, load up with these
whammy shells.
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They'll blow a hole through
an elephant's ass.
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Look out.
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Oh, goddamn it!
You're gonna replace that.
76
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-What's he using?
-You don't wanna know.
77
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Dadgum it,
you just assassinated a tree.
78
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Got a big kick to it.
79
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Don't you worry. They can't touch
the General. Come on, boy.
80
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You missed, Jimmy!
81
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Can't you shoot straight? Don't point
that thing at me, you chucklehead.
82
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Don't call me a chucklehead.
l ain't a chucklehead.
83
00:05:45,653 --> 00:05:48,042
Hey! Get that gun out of the wheel!
84
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What are you doing? Hey.
Hey. What the hell?
85
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-Goddamn it.
-l'm sorry, Daddy.
86
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Let's go after them.
87
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-Bo, did you see that sign?
-l can read!
88
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This is how you planned
on losing them?
89
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You ain't scared, are you?
90
00:06:03,813 --> 00:06:06,725
Scared? Hell, no. l just don't
wanna hear it from Uncle Jesse. . .
91
00:06:06,893 --> 00:06:09,043
. . .when you break his bottles of shine.
92
00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:11,727
l bet you the old phone book
l don't break a bottle.
93
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Phone book it is.
94
00:06:13,813 --> 00:06:17,328
Daddy, you get me close,
and l'll put a bullet in this son of a bitch.
95
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Goddamn it, Jimmy!
96
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Who says l can't shoot? Daddy? Daddy!
97
00:06:45,293 --> 00:06:48,046
Bo and Luke Duke.
98
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Cousins closer than brothers.
99
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Both big-hearted, strong-willed...
100
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:56,244
...and restless as a couple of cats
thrown into a swimming hole.
101
00:07:22,213 --> 00:07:23,612
Nice driving, cuz.
102
00:07:27,533 --> 00:07:28,932
What?
103
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-l won the bet, you son of a bitch.
-Oh, come on.
104
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l didn't break any bottles,
so l won the bet.
105
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-l was just joking about the bet.
-Oh, you were joking?
106
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-Yeah.
-Still getting the phone book, though.
107
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-Come on, double or nothing.
-Nope. Time to pay your debt, buddy.
108
00:07:52,853 --> 00:07:54,844
Which side you want,
right side or left?
109
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Right.
110
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Did l hear one of your teeth break?
111
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l don't remember the Hazzard
phone book being that thick.
112
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This is Atlanta.
113
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Bet was over. l can't believe that
happened. l mean, the bet was over.
114
00:08:19,493 --> 00:08:21,290
-What are you doing?
-Where you want it?
115
00:08:22,653 --> 00:08:25,008
-Oh, man.
-Where you want it?
116
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Left.
117
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That was a good one.
118
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Right in the ball sack. God.
119
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ln case of dehydration.
120
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That'll put lead in your pencil.
121
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-Man, l'm already tired of walking.
-You could use a little exercise.
122
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Them jeans of yours
look tighter than Daisy's.
123
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Oh, yeah? l bet you a cold beer
l could beat you to The Boar's Nest.
124
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That's five miles.
125
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l'm coming! l'm coming!
126
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Face!
127
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He came back.
128
00:09:30,973 --> 00:09:32,929
What's Billy Prickett doing here?
129
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Well, it looks like he's here
for the race.
130
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Man, those tires alone are worth
more than the General Lee.
131
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My, oh, my. Look at that.
Billy Prickett's car, huh?
132
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,923
What's new
in law enforcement, Enos?
133
00:09:48,093 --> 00:09:51,642
-They make you lieutenant yet?
-Hell, you know that'll never happen.
134
00:09:51,813 --> 00:09:54,532
Maybe one of these days you'll
wise up and come work for us.
135
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We could use a man like you.
136
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l don't know. l don't think it's a good
time to be in the moonshine business.
137
00:10:00,253 --> 00:10:03,165
Moonshine business?
We ain't in the moonshining business.
138
00:10:04,773 --> 00:10:09,403
But if someone were in the moonshining
business, why would it be a bad time?
139
00:10:09,573 --> 00:10:12,645
Now, Luke, you know l can't say
anything. Boss Hogg'll tan my hide.
140
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,246
He spanks you?
141
00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:16,803
Hey, Dil, what do you want?
We just ordered.
142
00:10:16,973 --> 00:10:19,771
By the looks of this place,
l'll take two bottles of Pepto. . .
143
00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:22,242
. . .and a shot of penicillin, right?
144
00:10:31,773 --> 00:10:33,650
Jesus, mother of Mary.
145
00:10:36,573 --> 00:10:38,962
Look away, man.
Trust me, look away.
146
00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:41,488
Don't worry about it.
l won't hurt her.
147
00:10:41,653 --> 00:10:45,168
There ain't nobody in this bar
concerned about you hurting her.
148
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:46,971
All right, all right.
149
00:10:51,493 --> 00:10:53,563
Y'all ready to order?
150
00:10:56,373 --> 00:10:58,443
You better be reading
my nametag, friend.
151
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l am, l am. l noticed
your initials were double D.
152
00:11:04,693 --> 00:11:07,412
-Oh, sweet Jesus.
-l'll give you one more chance.
153
00:11:07,573 --> 00:11:10,565
You wanna order, or you wanna sit
around and make stupid jokes?
154
00:11:10,733 --> 00:11:12,928
Ain't gotta get fussy.
We're having a good time.
155
00:11:13,093 --> 00:11:15,846
l'll tell you what, l'll order.
We don't want no problems.
156
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Let's see. . . .
157
00:11:19,093 --> 00:11:20,845
Do those legs come over easy?
158
00:11:21,133 --> 00:11:22,964
Oh, my God.
159
00:11:25,533 --> 00:11:28,889
-How about the special, sir?
-Dil Driscoll!
160
00:11:29,133 --> 00:11:32,682
You stop bothering that nice girl
and pick on somebody your own size.
161
00:11:32,853 --> 00:11:34,923
-Billy Prickett.
-Hey, it's Billy Prickett!
162
00:11:36,213 --> 00:11:37,805
-Welcome home, boy.
-You old mule.
163
00:11:38,413 --> 00:11:40,608
Hey.
164
00:11:42,453 --> 00:11:44,444
Why don't you cool off, Dil?
165
00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:49,011
-Come on, boy. Let's get out of here.
-My, my, my.
166
00:11:49,173 --> 00:11:53,564
Holy hell, Luke. There he is, right there.
That's Billy Prickett.
167
00:11:53,733 --> 00:11:55,212
Should l buy him a drink?
168
00:11:55,373 --> 00:11:57,887
Maybe you should buy him
flowers and chocolates.
169
00:11:58,053 --> 00:12:02,012
Give me a Miller.
Make it a Löwenbräu.
170
00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:05,044
How you doing?
171
00:12:05,213 --> 00:12:08,250
Hey, Billy Prickett.
Welcome back to Hazzard.
172
00:12:10,373 --> 00:12:13,570
See, boys, l told you all the
waitresses in this place was dog ugly.
173
00:12:14,893 --> 00:12:17,532
-Man.
-l'm only fooling with you.
174
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,206
Fellas, this is Bo Duke.
175
00:12:19,373 --> 00:12:23,252
Bo is looking to break my Hazzard Rally
record. What is it now, four in a row?
176
00:12:23,573 --> 00:12:25,245
Yeah, well. . . .
177
00:12:25,413 --> 00:12:31,249
All streaks must come to an end, Bo.
l'm calling this one ""the drive for five. ""
178
00:12:31,413 --> 00:12:35,008
-Well, l'm looking forward to the race.
-Hey, Dil!
179
00:12:35,173 --> 00:12:37,323
This is the boy
who's trying to break my record.
180
00:12:37,493 --> 00:12:40,610
Oh, really? l'm Dil Driscoll, crew chief.
181
00:12:40,773 --> 00:12:42,126
-Bo-Bo, have a seat.
-Really?
182
00:12:44,133 --> 00:12:47,045
So, Billy, what's it like
being in the circuit?
183
00:12:47,213 --> 00:12:49,169
-Well--
-Hey, Billy, join me for a drink?
184
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,846
Oh, well, you sweet little thing.
185
00:12:51,013 --> 00:12:54,050
Fellas, l'm awfully thirsty
all of a sudden.
186
00:12:54,213 --> 00:12:56,522
Bo-Bo, may the best man win.
187
00:12:57,853 --> 00:12:59,286
John, another round!
188
00:12:59,453 --> 00:13:03,207
So, Bo, what's the story
on that little pistol over there?
189
00:13:03,453 --> 00:13:06,445
Because she gave me a ride earlier.
190
00:13:06,893 --> 00:13:09,361
Well, actually, she's my cousin.
191
00:13:09,533 --> 00:13:12,047
Oh, really? You hitting that?
192
00:13:12,853 --> 00:13:16,289
-She's my cousin.
-Hopefully you're kissing cousins, right?
193
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:21,006
-Come again?
-Son, all l'm really trying to ask you. . .
194
00:13:21,173 --> 00:13:24,210
. . .is if you shuck her corn.
195
00:13:27,853 --> 00:13:33,644
Now, there are certain things you just
don 't say to a Duke about another Duke.
196
00:13:37,893 --> 00:13:39,531
l'll shuck your corn!
197
00:13:41,933 --> 00:13:43,332
Excuse me a second.
198
00:13:43,493 --> 00:13:45,131
Pick him up! Pick him up!
199
00:13:46,853 --> 00:13:49,048
Hey, hey. Can l get in on this?
200
00:13:49,213 --> 00:13:50,407
-Yeah.
-Sure.
201
00:13:57,893 --> 00:13:59,406
Oh, buddy.
202
00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:03,166
Here we go.
203
00:14:05,213 --> 00:14:07,522
Fifty bucks on the Dukes!
204
00:14:20,853 --> 00:14:23,242
-That makes two, Luke!
-Attaboy!
205
00:14:31,093 --> 00:14:33,163
Hey, Billy Prickett!
206
00:14:33,413 --> 00:14:35,210
Careful, Bo-Bo.
207
00:14:38,813 --> 00:14:40,326
Don't hit him. That's A.J. Foyt!
208
00:14:40,493 --> 00:14:42,290
-Really?
-The fourth!
209
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:10,693
-Hey, can l hit this guy?
-Kill them all!
210
00:15:13,453 --> 00:15:15,569
-The ribs are greasy.
-The beans are cold.
211
00:15:23,333 --> 00:15:26,325
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.
212
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:30,008
Closest thing to law enforcement
in Hazzard County.
213
00:15:30,173 --> 00:15:34,007
Rosco 's been after the Duke boys
since they started walking.
214
00:15:34,173 --> 00:15:36,687
Of course, some people say
the boys ' first steps...
215
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:41,085
...landed right on the sheriff's
last nerve.
216
00:15:54,693 --> 00:15:57,730
Dukes. Just once you two
ought to try leaving a place. . .
217
00:15:57,893 --> 00:16:00,566
. . .in better shape
than it was when you walked in.
218
00:16:00,733 --> 00:16:05,363
Oh, l think your boss can afford
to replace a few broken beer mugs.
219
00:16:05,533 --> 00:16:08,366
l heard there was
a little incident earlier. . .
220
00:16:08,533 --> 00:16:13,527
. . .concerning a certain crappy
orange hot rod out at the Miller farm.
221
00:16:13,933 --> 00:16:16,447
Y'all really upset some
of them construction boys.
222
00:16:16,693 --> 00:16:20,402
When l got there, they were not being
gentle with your beloved piece of crap.
223
00:16:21,653 --> 00:16:23,723
What'd you do, Rosco?
224
00:16:23,893 --> 00:16:27,681
l can't say she's gonna be in real good
racing shape for the rally this weekend.
225
00:16:32,933 --> 00:16:35,003
You watch yourself, hillbilly boy.
226
00:16:35,493 --> 00:16:39,247
Come on, boys. My shift's over.
l'll take you over to Cooter's.
227
00:16:39,413 --> 00:16:41,131
Come on.
228
00:17:03,693 --> 00:17:06,002
Jefferson Davis Hogg...
229
00:17:06,173 --> 00:17:09,324
... the meanest man
in Hazzard County.
230
00:17:09,493 --> 00:17:13,930
He's canny as a fox,
tough as a badger...
231
00:17:14,293 --> 00:17:18,366
...and crooked as a hillbilly's smile.
232
00:17:19,933 --> 00:17:21,889
Well, Rosco.
233
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:28,121
l see you have redecorated.
234
00:17:28,293 --> 00:17:31,205
lnteresting style. What do you call it?
235
00:17:31,453 --> 00:17:34,843
-Well, sir, the Dukes--
-The Dukes.
236
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:37,049
l had a feeling.
237
00:17:42,573 --> 00:17:46,122
l've got some important things
happening here this weekend.
238
00:17:46,293 --> 00:17:49,808
-Yes, sir.
-Are you gonna take care of the Dukes. . .
239
00:17:49,973 --> 00:17:53,249
. . .or am l gonna have to make
other plans?
240
00:17:53,413 --> 00:17:56,086
l'm on top of it, Boss.
241
00:17:56,253 --> 00:17:58,687
That's what l'm afraid of.
242
00:18:01,653 --> 00:18:03,132
-You ready?
-ls it bad?
243
00:18:03,293 --> 00:18:05,011
Not good.
244
00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:11,570
Hell, this is worse than the time
you sunk it in the Tipton Swamp.
245
00:18:14,733 --> 00:18:16,849
Mostly cosmetic damage,
right, Cooter?
246
00:18:18,453 --> 00:18:19,886
-Mostly.
-Yeah.
247
00:18:20,053 --> 00:18:24,444
-He's gonna be ready for the race, right?
-Race? Come on, Bo.
248
00:18:24,613 --> 00:18:27,002
l mean, the General doesn't race.
249
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:29,733
The General erases the competition.
250
00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:49,367
Who does this?
251
00:18:51,893 --> 00:18:56,125
lt would make a nice hat or a slipper.
252
00:18:56,293 --> 00:18:59,729
You know what? Just leave the General
here with me. l'll see if l can fix--
253
00:18:59,893 --> 00:19:03,249
l'll have it up running in no time.
Meanwhile, you boys take my truck.
254
00:19:04,613 --> 00:19:06,251
What if you need to tow somebody?
255
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:09,883
lf l can't ""toe"" them, l'll finger them.
You know what l mean?
256
00:19:14,573 --> 00:19:20,250
Close one. Even shell-shocked,
he's a better driver than you are.
257
00:19:20,413 --> 00:19:22,324
-Thanks, Cooter.
-Yeah.
258
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,212
Chin up.
259
00:19:33,613 --> 00:19:35,604
Daisy?
260
00:19:35,773 --> 00:19:37,809
Jesse L. Duke.
261
00:19:37,973 --> 00:19:40,646
-Uncle Jesse to you.
-Daisy.
262
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:43,646
Now, Jesse's been
two places in his life:
263
00:19:43,813 --> 00:19:46,008
Hazzard County and Korea.
264
00:19:46,173 --> 00:19:48,482
-Daisy?
-l'm in here.
265
00:19:48,653 --> 00:19:50,723
-As far as he's concerned--
-Where are you?
266
00:19:50,893 --> 00:19:52,167
l'm in the shower.
267
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:53,766
--that's one place too many.
268
00:19:53,933 --> 00:19:55,605
Ready or not, here l come.
269
00:20:03,413 --> 00:20:06,450
-How's it looking, good looking?
-Well, l fixed the vapor coils. . .
270
00:20:06,613 --> 00:20:09,923
. . .but the boiler's still slow.
You been running this around the clock?
271
00:20:10,093 --> 00:20:13,563
Them boys break more bottles than
they deliver. Eight cases this month.
272
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:16,611
Wonder where in the hell
they are, anyway.
273
00:20:18,493 --> 00:20:20,449
It'll make you feel lots better.
274
00:20:22,933 --> 00:20:26,050
-Light the son of a bitch.
-All right.
275
00:20:30,933 --> 00:20:32,810
l feel good.
276
00:20:32,973 --> 00:20:35,726
All right, y'all, knock off
the grab-assing over there.
277
00:20:35,973 --> 00:20:37,850
What's going on, Uncle Jesse?
278
00:20:38,013 --> 00:20:41,085
Guy come out of an antique shop
carrying a big grandfather's clock.
279
00:20:41,253 --> 00:20:43,164
Bumped into this drunk,
broke the clock.
280
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,369
Guy said, ""Why don't you watch
where you're going. ""
281
00:20:45,533 --> 00:20:48,764
The drunk says, ""Why don't you carry
a wristwatch like everybody else. ""
282
00:20:50,133 --> 00:20:52,488
Know what happens
when you give a politician Viagra?
283
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:54,286
-No.
-He gets taller.
284
00:20:55,453 --> 00:20:57,011
Here's another one for you.
285
00:20:57,253 --> 00:21:00,370
How many Dukes does it take
to screw up a moonshine delivery?
286
00:21:00,533 --> 00:21:02,922
Oh, yes, sorry about that,
Uncle Jesse. We--
287
00:21:09,453 --> 00:21:10,681
ls that Rosco?
288
00:21:10,973 --> 00:21:13,646
Wonder what
that fat sack of shit wants.
289
00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:15,732
Come on.
290
00:21:17,173 --> 00:21:21,325
We can skip the ""Hi, how are you's. ""
l'm here on official police business.
291
00:21:21,493 --> 00:21:23,563
Right here, sheriff.
292
00:21:26,333 --> 00:21:28,085
Oh, that's horseshit.
You planted that.
293
00:21:32,893 --> 00:21:36,681
""By the power vested in me
by the County of Hazzard, Georgia. . .
294
00:21:36,853 --> 00:21:38,844
. . .l hereby seize this property. . .
295
00:21:39,013 --> 00:21:42,449
. . .for the crime of producing
and distributing moonshine. ""
296
00:21:43,813 --> 00:21:46,486
Now, Jesse,
we can do this the easy way. . .
297
00:21:46,653 --> 00:21:48,723
. . .or, of course. . .
298
00:21:51,013 --> 00:21:52,412
. . .there's that other way.
299
00:21:52,573 --> 00:21:55,406
-Let's try the that other way first.
-Now, hold on. Wait.
300
00:21:55,573 --> 00:21:57,962
Only way l'm leaving this farm
is in a wooden box.
301
00:21:58,133 --> 00:21:59,930
Well. . . .
302
00:22:00,893 --> 00:22:03,123
Hi, Dukes.
303
00:22:04,933 --> 00:22:06,366
Hi.
304
00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:08,767
Well, now.
305
00:22:09,733 --> 00:22:11,212
Lookie there.
306
00:22:11,853 --> 00:22:16,290
Moonshining.
What a shame, what a shame.
307
00:22:16,453 --> 00:22:19,490
-That ain't ours, Boss.
-Really?
308
00:22:19,653 --> 00:22:21,883
You're out of here.
309
00:22:22,053 --> 00:22:24,203
This land ain't yours anymore.
310
00:22:24,373 --> 00:22:26,329
You're gonna have to
live somewhere else. . .
311
00:22:26,493 --> 00:22:29,053
-. . .and you're never gonna moonshine--
-Why, you prick!
312
00:22:29,213 --> 00:22:34,128
Watch out. l got my dog here,
and l ain't fed him, and he's real hungry.
313
00:22:34,773 --> 00:22:37,571
Easy, Jesse. Not now.
314
00:22:40,853 --> 00:22:43,845
You boys done started a fight
you can't win.
315
00:22:50,413 --> 00:22:54,042
Well, you have my sympathy.
Y'all take care, now.
316
00:22:59,253 --> 00:23:01,926
-Should've busted a cap in his ass.
-Hell, yeah.
317
00:23:02,093 --> 00:23:04,129
Hey, easy now, boys.
318
00:23:04,293 --> 00:23:07,205
Thanks for taking us in, Pauline.
We really appreciate it.
319
00:23:07,373 --> 00:23:09,091
Oh, honey, it is my pleasure.
320
00:23:09,253 --> 00:23:13,087
l left three toes in Korea for this country,
and this is the thanks l get.
321
00:23:13,253 --> 00:23:15,687
l don't understand how they
could just take your farm.
322
00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:17,650
They planted a still in our barn.
323
00:23:17,893 --> 00:23:22,364
They planted a still? Now,
why would they need to plant a still?
324
00:23:22,533 --> 00:23:25,445
Because they're too damn dumb
to find our real one.
325
00:23:25,773 --> 00:23:29,209
l was waiting on old Bill Miller
up at the truck stop last night.
326
00:23:29,373 --> 00:23:33,491
He said Boss' men seized his land
for some trumped-up charge too.
327
00:23:33,893 --> 00:23:37,681
Maybe it's got to do with all that
construction equipment at the Millers' .
328
00:23:37,853 --> 00:23:40,208
You wanna go up there
and take a second look?
329
00:23:40,373 --> 00:23:42,204
Oh, l don't know, boys.
330
00:23:42,373 --> 00:23:43,852
Oh, now, Pauline.
331
00:23:45,973 --> 00:23:48,851
Don't worry, Uncle Jesse.
We're gonna take care of it.
332
00:23:49,413 --> 00:23:51,483
You know what's gonna happen,
don't you?
333
00:23:51,653 --> 00:23:54,565
Those two are gonna get themselves
in trouble, end up in jail. . .
334
00:23:54,733 --> 00:23:57,167
. . .and l'm gonna have to
shake my ass to get them out.
335
00:23:57,333 --> 00:23:59,369
That's why we love you, honey.
336
00:24:03,373 --> 00:24:06,763
-Oh, goddamn it.
-Well, well, well.
337
00:24:08,053 --> 00:24:10,123
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
338
00:24:10,293 --> 00:24:12,807
What's it look like?
l'm building a doomsday machine. . .
339
00:24:12,973 --> 00:24:15,248
. . .gonna aim it right up
your heinie hole.
340
00:24:15,493 --> 00:24:17,643
You stupid enough to think
you can fix this?
341
00:24:17,813 --> 00:24:20,088
-l'm fixing to fix it.
-Oh, you fixing to fix it.
342
00:24:20,253 --> 00:24:23,086
You couldn't fix an election
if your brother was the governor.
343
00:24:23,373 --> 00:24:25,284
What do you want, Rosco?
344
00:24:25,453 --> 00:24:30,368
This here vehicle, it was used in the
illegal transportation of moonshine.
345
00:24:30,533 --> 00:24:32,046
Boss wants it impounded.
346
00:24:32,213 --> 00:24:34,932
lt ain't running right now,
and my tow truck ain't here. . .
347
00:24:35,093 --> 00:24:36,924
. . .so unless you stick it up your ass--
348
00:24:37,093 --> 00:24:39,527
Hey, one way or another,
grease monkey. . .
349
00:24:39,693 --> 00:24:42,571
. . .tomorrow l'm auctioning off
this hunk of junk.
350
00:24:42,733 --> 00:24:45,042
So y'all have a good night, now, okay?
351
00:24:48,173 --> 00:24:52,132
l got two words for you:
soap and water.
352
00:24:53,453 --> 00:24:55,523
That's three words.
353
00:24:55,693 --> 00:24:57,411
Stupid.
354
00:25:04,333 --> 00:25:05,971
Hey, man, this is Cooter.
355
00:25:06,133 --> 00:25:09,489
Round up the fellas.
l got a job for them.
356
00:25:13,253 --> 00:25:15,323
Lot of equipment there
for an abandoned farm.
357
00:25:15,573 --> 00:25:18,849
Yeah, and that fence went up
pretty quick too, huh?
358
00:25:19,253 --> 00:25:22,131
-Let's go ditch the truck.
-All right.
359
00:25:46,333 --> 00:25:49,166
Well, ain't that cute,
a man taking his pig for a walk.
360
00:25:53,973 --> 00:25:55,326
Come on.
361
00:26:03,613 --> 00:26:05,331
What now?
362
00:26:11,493 --> 00:26:13,370
Lookie here, Bo.
363
00:26:14,773 --> 00:26:18,402
He's got our farm marked, right next
to the Millers' and the Robinsons' .
364
00:26:19,693 --> 00:26:22,765
What the hell does he want
with all this land?
365
00:26:22,933 --> 00:26:24,969
l don't know.
366
00:26:26,133 --> 00:26:29,921
But l tell you what,
if l was incriminating information. . .
367
00:26:30,093 --> 00:26:33,130
. . .l'd be hiding in that big,
huge son of a bitch.
368
00:26:33,493 --> 00:26:36,530
-How are we supposed to open that?
-I don 't know about you...
369
00:26:36,693 --> 00:26:39,332
...but I'd sure hate to be
that safe right now.
370
00:26:39,733 --> 00:26:41,405
Yeah!
371
00:26:54,453 --> 00:26:57,331
Holy shit.
372
00:27:07,653 --> 00:27:09,405
Hope they got e-mail.
373
00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:23,570
Oh, dear.
374
00:27:33,773 --> 00:27:35,650
What the hell?
375
00:27:39,413 --> 00:27:40,766
lt's stuck on a pole.
376
00:27:41,133 --> 00:27:43,567
l'll check it.
377
00:27:55,893 --> 00:27:58,930
-Give it some gas!
-Okay!
378
00:28:04,733 --> 00:28:08,772
-Hey, give it a little more gas!
-Okay!
379
00:28:08,933 --> 00:28:12,050
-Hey, Bo, hold up!
-Okay!
380
00:28:12,373 --> 00:28:14,091
Hey! No, Bo! No!
381
00:28:14,253 --> 00:28:16,005
Okay!
382
00:28:18,053 --> 00:28:20,613
-Yeah!
-Bo!
383
00:28:22,293 --> 00:28:24,966
-No, Bo!
-Sorry, cuz.
384
00:28:25,133 --> 00:28:26,885
You'd do the same thing to me.
385
00:28:27,053 --> 00:28:28,805
Bo!
386
00:28:34,533 --> 00:28:36,410
Bo, damn it!
387
00:28:37,653 --> 00:28:39,484
Hold on, little buddy!
388
00:28:43,493 --> 00:28:45,484
Oh, shit!
389
00:28:52,293 --> 00:28:53,692
Bo, you son of a--
390
00:29:12,813 --> 00:29:16,692
l said, no, Bo. No!
391
00:29:19,133 --> 00:29:22,284
l thought you said, ""Go, Bo. Go. ""
392
00:29:22,453 --> 00:29:24,330
You see how that sounds kind of. . .?
393
00:29:28,053 --> 00:29:31,090
Hey, you know what?
Sheev lives near here.
394
00:29:31,253 --> 00:29:33,244
Maybe he can help us
open this thing up, huh?
395
00:29:34,133 --> 00:29:35,851
Yeah.
396
00:29:37,293 --> 00:29:39,761
Okay. We'll go to Sheev's.
397
00:29:48,373 --> 00:29:51,524
Rosco, this here's Chip.
398
00:29:51,693 --> 00:29:53,843
You might wanna call Hogg. . .
399
00:29:54,013 --> 00:29:58,609
. . .and tell him them two fellers,
they made off with his safe.
400
00:29:58,773 --> 00:30:01,765
And l might need a ride too.
401
00:30:06,573 --> 00:30:09,406
Boss, what kind of mood you in?
402
00:30:09,613 --> 00:30:12,650
l'm in a crawfish-boiling mood.
403
00:30:13,653 --> 00:30:17,885
Well, it seems that the Duke boys. . .
404
00:30:18,053 --> 00:30:20,442
. . .have stolen your safe.
405
00:30:25,253 --> 00:30:28,404
l am officially upgrading the Dukes. . .
406
00:30:28,573 --> 00:30:33,169
. . .from ""fly in my ointment""
to ""thorn in my side. ""
407
00:30:33,333 --> 00:30:37,724
And if they happen to elevate
themselves to ""pain in my ass"" . . .
408
00:30:37,893 --> 00:30:42,728
. . .then l'm gonna boil you. Got it?
409
00:30:42,893 --> 00:30:45,123
-Yes, sir.
-Now. . .
410
00:30:45,293 --> 00:30:49,127
. . .l want you to find the Dukes
and lock them up.
411
00:30:49,293 --> 00:30:53,525
Oh, and bring me my damn safe back.
412
00:30:53,693 --> 00:30:55,411
Yes, sir.
413
00:31:00,053 --> 00:31:01,327
Flash.
414
00:31:13,213 --> 00:31:14,771
Evening, Sheev.
415
00:31:17,213 --> 00:31:18,771
Sheev.
416
00:31:27,213 --> 00:31:30,842
l'm looking for them Duke boys.
You seen them?
417
00:31:33,053 --> 00:31:36,045
They was last seen
heading up this road here.
418
00:31:37,813 --> 00:31:41,169
You still got them ClA mind probes
stuck in your head, boy?
419
00:31:41,413 --> 00:31:43,847
Far as l know.
420
00:31:44,013 --> 00:31:46,846
Good.
Keep your little antennae up there. . .
421
00:31:47,013 --> 00:31:50,483
. . .in case you see the Dukes,
you let me know, you hear?
422
00:31:50,653 --> 00:31:52,211
Yeah.
423
00:31:55,053 --> 00:31:57,248
Stinks out here, you know that?
424
00:32:09,013 --> 00:32:10,924
-ls he gone, Sheev?
-He's gone.
425
00:32:19,933 --> 00:32:21,969
-Prickett, Prickett.
-It means a lot to me...
426
00:32:22,133 --> 00:32:24,203
... to be invited here
back to my hometown.
427
00:32:24,373 --> 00:32:26,443
I hope to remind
the good people of Hazzard...
428
00:32:26,613 --> 00:32:30,208
-... what it feels like to be proud again.
-We love you, Billy!
429
00:32:30,573 --> 00:32:34,327
And I hope to remind the good people
of Hazzard to come out to the rally...
430
00:32:34,493 --> 00:32:36,882
...and cheer their favorite son,
Billy Prickett!
431
00:32:39,213 --> 00:32:41,681
And I'm declaring today
Billy Prickett Day.
432
00:32:43,453 --> 00:32:45,648
You're too kind.
I just hope, come Saturday...
433
00:32:45,813 --> 00:32:48,247
...I'm not too hazardous on the roads.
434
00:32:49,613 --> 00:32:51,410
""Hazardous on the roads. ""
435
00:32:51,733 --> 00:32:54,201
-This one's for you!
-This is Tammy Arinder...
436
00:32:54,373 --> 00:32:56,728
...at the parade, for WCNU News.
437
00:32:56,893 --> 00:32:58,963
Seeing Billy Prickett race in person?
438
00:32:59,133 --> 00:33:01,772
That might be worth
putting my pants on for.
439
00:33:01,933 --> 00:33:04,766
-Bo, you racing on Saturday?
-l'm planning on it.
440
00:33:05,013 --> 00:33:07,083
What's the prize for second place?
441
00:33:08,773 --> 00:33:10,445
Gonna be good.
Tough one, good luck.
442
00:33:10,613 --> 00:33:13,173
lt's a little weird
he's coming back here to race.
443
00:33:13,333 --> 00:33:17,246
Life's weird, Luke. Someday
you're gonna have to accept that.
444
00:33:20,133 --> 00:33:23,330
Well, okay.
Let's take a look at that lockbox.
445
00:33:24,853 --> 00:33:27,242
Oh, yeah. Liberty 400.
446
00:33:27,733 --> 00:33:30,611
High-density,
9200-psi composite material.
447
00:33:30,773 --> 00:33:33,003
Two-inch chrome bolts,
vertical and horizontal.
448
00:33:33,173 --> 00:33:36,802
And a spring-loaded, independent
relocking device, with a foreign body.
449
00:33:36,973 --> 00:33:40,204
-She's a beauty.
-Can you crack it?
450
00:33:40,373 --> 00:33:42,728
l'm gonna do more than crack it.
451
00:33:43,693 --> 00:33:45,763
Goddamn it.
452
00:33:50,133 --> 00:33:54,092
Armadillo. They've been infiltrating
my perimeter all summer.
453
00:33:54,253 --> 00:33:57,563
-The hell you do with them?
-l make helmets.
454
00:33:57,733 --> 00:34:01,442
Armadillo helmets can block
even the best brain-wave scanners.
455
00:34:01,613 --> 00:34:03,683
Make a pretty good soup bowl too.
456
00:34:03,853 --> 00:34:06,572
So okay. l'm gonna
go to work on this thing.
457
00:34:06,733 --> 00:34:10,408
While l do, would you be a dear, Bo,
and go grab me that armadillo?
458
00:34:13,373 --> 00:34:15,125
Thanks.
459
00:34:16,493 --> 00:34:18,484
Man, he looks pissed off.
460
00:34:20,333 --> 00:34:23,405
Come on, y'all! That was a good one.
461
00:34:23,813 --> 00:34:26,452
All right, maybe you could
take it off now.
462
00:34:26,813 --> 00:34:29,373
Got a real nice deal on this stuff.
Government issue.
463
00:34:29,533 --> 00:34:32,969
Only expired about six months ago,
so should have a real nice pop.
464
00:34:33,893 --> 00:34:36,361
Yeah! Cooter's got
the General running.
465
00:34:37,013 --> 00:34:40,164
-Might be able to race on Saturday.
-Really?
466
00:34:40,333 --> 00:34:43,405
We gotta get it out of there tonight.
Rosco wants to impound it.
467
00:34:43,573 --> 00:34:45,529
Watch your ass, fellas.
468
00:34:51,893 --> 00:34:54,202
This is the fastest-burning
fuse you got, Sheev?
469
00:34:54,373 --> 00:34:56,045
lt's a Chinese fuse.
470
00:35:08,493 --> 00:35:10,643
-Might be a wet fuse.
-Well, should we check it?
471
00:35:10,813 --> 00:35:13,532
Depends if you like how your face
is configured, pretty boy.
472
00:35:13,693 --> 00:35:15,331
l think you got the wires backwards.
473
00:35:15,493 --> 00:35:17,802
They're supposed to be.
lt's a Chinese fuse.
474
00:35:17,973 --> 00:35:20,043
No, backwards from how
they're supposed to be.
475
00:35:20,213 --> 00:35:22,727
You ever been to China?
Have you ever been to China?
476
00:35:22,893 --> 00:35:24,246
l ate Chinese food once.
477
00:35:24,413 --> 00:35:26,847
Well, you don't blow up
mu shu pork, my friend.
478
00:35:27,013 --> 00:35:28,492
l dated a Korean girl in school.
479
00:35:28,653 --> 00:35:31,087
That is a different Oriental nation.
Get an education.
480
00:35:31,253 --> 00:35:33,608
-You got the fuse wrong.
-You know nothing about. . .
481
00:35:33,773 --> 00:35:36,287
-. . .Chino-Sino-American relations.
-You're missing the point.
482
00:35:47,453 --> 00:35:49,284
Might've used too much.
483
00:35:52,933 --> 00:35:55,242
Man, that rattled my sphincter.
484
00:35:59,093 --> 00:36:01,926
What the hell is that? Drugs?
485
00:36:02,093 --> 00:36:03,731
Don't look like no drugs l ever saw.
486
00:36:04,053 --> 00:36:07,841
-What the hell are these numbers?
-lt's a core sample.
487
00:36:08,173 --> 00:36:12,371
Mining. They drill a hole, take a sample,
send it to the lab, see what they got.
488
00:36:12,573 --> 00:36:14,529
-Core samples of what?
-How should l know?
489
00:36:14,693 --> 00:36:18,368
Am l wearing a white coat here?
l cut bait and blow shit up for a living.
490
00:36:18,533 --> 00:36:22,367
-Take it to a lab.
-l don't know, maybe at the university?
491
00:36:22,533 --> 00:36:26,208
-Katie-Lynn Johnson's at the university.
-Oh, yeah, that's right.
492
00:36:26,373 --> 00:36:29,046
Man, l always had a thing for that girl.
493
00:36:29,293 --> 00:36:32,524
Remember she used to come by
the farm with those tight little outfits?
494
00:36:32,693 --> 00:36:36,208
-No, l can't say l remember that.
-l thought l had her too.
495
00:36:36,373 --> 00:36:40,127
Then she pulled a goddamn Keyser Soze
on me, and like that. . .
496
00:36:40,293 --> 00:36:41,806
. . .she was gone.
497
00:36:41,973 --> 00:36:44,043
You don't remember that?
498
00:36:44,213 --> 00:36:45,441
Well, okay.
499
00:36:45,613 --> 00:36:49,162
Unless you need something else blown,
l'll go inside and wash my mongoose.
500
00:36:52,213 --> 00:36:53,931
Okay.
501
00:36:54,853 --> 00:36:57,208
Come on, Luke. Let's get the General.
502
00:36:57,493 --> 00:36:59,643
Why don't we have Cooter stash that.
503
00:36:59,813 --> 00:37:01,804
We'll take his truck,
head to the highway--
504
00:37:01,973 --> 00:37:06,251
How would you feel if the General and l
went to Atlanta and left you behind?
505
00:37:32,533 --> 00:37:34,125
Ain't she a Georgia peach?
506
00:37:34,293 --> 00:37:36,363
What'd you do,
make a deal with the devil?
507
00:37:36,693 --> 00:37:39,412
Luke. Luke. ls that a Hemi?
508
00:37:41,573 --> 00:37:44,406
Me and my buddies lose the Gettysburg
reenactment every other Sunday.
509
00:37:44,573 --> 00:37:46,643
So we figured,
why not let General Lee win one?
510
00:37:47,093 --> 00:37:49,607
l don't know how
we're gonna pay you back, Cooter.
511
00:37:49,773 --> 00:37:53,243
Would a BJ from Daisy be within
the realm of possibility?
512
00:37:53,413 --> 00:37:55,244
Not gonna happen.
513
00:37:55,413 --> 00:37:58,132
How about a pair
of her still-warm shorts?
514
00:37:58,293 --> 00:37:59,567
All right.
515
00:37:59,733 --> 00:38:03,248
Hey, Bo, just win that Hazzard Rally.
That's thanks enough.
516
00:38:03,413 --> 00:38:07,406
And when you get that prize money, you
pay me, because that's how it works.
517
00:38:07,573 --> 00:38:09,689
l love you, Cooter.
518
00:38:11,573 --> 00:38:14,087
-l didn't have time to fix everything.
-Right.
519
00:38:16,693 --> 00:38:18,570
Let's get that car.
520
00:38:44,373 --> 00:38:47,410
Get in your cars and get them!
Get after them! Now!
521
00:38:47,573 --> 00:38:49,564
Cooter!
522
00:38:54,973 --> 00:38:56,770
All right.
523
00:38:58,253 --> 00:39:00,847
That's so good, man.
524
00:39:03,373 --> 00:39:05,170
Enough.
525
00:39:05,333 --> 00:39:09,167
Man, l'm never gonna get out
of this car again. l'm gonna live in it.
526
00:39:09,333 --> 00:39:12,006
l'm gonna eat in it.
And l'm gonna make sweet love to it.
527
00:39:12,453 --> 00:39:14,330
You mean you gonna make
sweet love in it.
528
00:39:14,493 --> 00:39:16,051
Oh, no, l wanna fuck it.
529
00:39:16,213 --> 00:39:18,807
All units, we are in hot pursuit
of them Duke boys...
530
00:39:18,973 --> 00:39:22,283
. . .in their piece-of-shit orange car.
531
00:39:24,893 --> 00:39:26,611
""Piece of--"" You son of a bitch.
532
00:39:44,853 --> 00:39:46,411
Hey! Get back here!
533
00:39:46,613 --> 00:39:49,366
-Lost Sheep, you out there?
-Hey, Cooter.
534
00:39:49,533 --> 00:39:52,843
These fellas ain 't gonna be
doing much chasing.
535
00:39:53,013 --> 00:39:55,925
-Thanks, man.
-l'm gonna run right over Billy Prickett.
536
00:39:56,093 --> 00:39:57,731
How about we go to Atlanta first?
537
00:39:57,893 --> 00:40:00,327
All right, cuz.
538
00:40:02,533 --> 00:40:06,412
Oh, look at that.
There's your problem right there.
539
00:40:06,573 --> 00:40:07,892
Yeah, that's a shame.
540
00:40:09,933 --> 00:40:12,288
Let's go to Atlanta.
541
00:40:21,733 --> 00:40:23,610
Luke.
542
00:40:23,773 --> 00:40:25,445
Luke.
543
00:40:26,813 --> 00:40:31,568
l know why it didn't work out with
me and Katie before. lt was just timing.
544
00:40:31,733 --> 00:40:34,247
Life is all about timing, you know?
545
00:40:34,533 --> 00:40:37,923
lt's my time now.
l'm gonna win that race on Saturday.
546
00:40:38,093 --> 00:40:41,642
We're gonna get the farm back.
l got my BFF, you.
547
00:40:42,613 --> 00:40:45,252
And l'm gonna get Katie Johnson,
you watch.
548
00:40:49,493 --> 00:40:51,563
lt's my time.
549
00:40:52,853 --> 00:40:56,084
What's going on?
550
00:40:58,773 --> 00:41:03,289
Yeah, baby!
Southern by the grace of God!
551
00:41:06,613 --> 00:41:09,047
Well, at least we know
they're nice up here.
552
00:41:09,293 --> 00:41:12,683
Hurry up, you're late
for your Klan meeting, asshole.
553
00:41:12,853 --> 00:41:15,321
-Klan meeting?
-Don't listen to her.
554
00:41:15,493 --> 00:41:18,769
The South will rise again.
555
00:41:18,933 --> 00:41:21,083
Yee-haw, brother!
556
00:41:21,253 --> 00:41:23,130
What the hell's wrong
with these people?
557
00:41:23,293 --> 00:41:26,330
Nice roof, redneck.
Join us in the 21 st century?
558
00:41:34,453 --> 00:41:37,092
We're gonna make
some friends up here, huh?
559
00:41:45,933 --> 00:41:48,447
Oh, excuse me.
Can l help you, ma'am?
560
00:41:48,613 --> 00:41:50,365
Daisy! Oh, boy.
561
00:41:50,613 --> 00:41:52,843
Enos, what's Boss doing
taking all that land?
562
00:41:53,093 --> 00:41:57,052
l don't know. They won't tell me. You
gotta go. l'm supposed to arrest you.
563
00:41:57,213 --> 00:41:59,773
-Come on, l'm serious.
-Get. Get out of here.
564
00:41:59,933 --> 00:42:02,970
Hey. You Anus?
565
00:42:03,613 --> 00:42:05,490
No, that's Enos, Mr. Prickett.
566
00:42:07,173 --> 00:42:10,370
Sorry about that. ls Hogg around?
He asked me to come by.
567
00:42:10,533 --> 00:42:14,811
Oh, yeah. He's out back
in the garage, Mr. Prickett.
568
00:42:16,173 --> 00:42:18,323
Well, howdy, ma'am.
How are you today?
569
00:42:18,493 --> 00:42:20,768
lt's just right on out back there.
l'll show you.
570
00:42:20,933 --> 00:42:23,731
Yep, head out that way.
571
00:42:26,613 --> 00:42:28,683
There you go.
572
00:42:30,693 --> 00:42:32,490
There he is.
573
00:42:32,653 --> 00:42:34,564
-Hometown hero.
-Hogg.
574
00:42:34,733 --> 00:42:36,325
-How you doing, son?
-Well. . .
575
00:42:36,493 --> 00:42:39,644
. . .this is a great place to crap,
but l'm ready to head to Atlanta.
576
00:42:39,813 --> 00:42:41,132
Not before the race.
577
00:42:41,453 --> 00:42:43,523
Don't you worry about that.
578
00:42:43,693 --> 00:42:46,969
l want you down at that finish line.
Sign autographs for the kids.
579
00:42:47,133 --> 00:42:48,964
-Yeah, l know the drill.
-l know you do.
580
00:42:49,173 --> 00:42:52,006
But l need you there for two hours, son.
Two hours.
581
00:42:52,213 --> 00:42:54,283
Kissing hands and shaking babies.
582
00:42:54,453 --> 00:42:57,968
You got that backwards.
lt's shaking hands and kiss the babies.
583
00:42:58,133 --> 00:43:01,921
Oh, yeah? Maybe that's why l lost
that governor's election in '86.
584
00:43:06,453 --> 00:43:08,444
Hogg, what the hell am l doing here?
585
00:43:08,613 --> 00:43:10,490
Rosco.
586
00:43:13,453 --> 00:43:16,092
Whoa, what is this?
You off the reservation?
587
00:43:16,253 --> 00:43:18,926
See how it kind of catches me
around the eyes there?
588
00:43:19,093 --> 00:43:22,244
Look here, l already got sponsors.
589
00:43:22,413 --> 00:43:25,086
What am l supposed
to tell Castrol, Yahoo!?
590
00:43:25,253 --> 00:43:27,562
Tell them it's for charity.
591
00:43:27,733 --> 00:43:29,928
-ls it?
-Sure. Could be.
592
00:43:31,173 --> 00:43:34,643
Whatever you say.
l'm gonna win that race by a mile.
593
00:43:34,813 --> 00:43:37,281
lt don't matter whose face
is on my car when l do.
594
00:43:37,453 --> 00:43:42,447
l don't need you to win the race.
l just need you to show up.
595
00:43:55,053 --> 00:43:57,362
Hey there, Mr. Prickett.
596
00:43:57,533 --> 00:43:59,888
Well, hello, Daisy.
597
00:44:00,053 --> 00:44:04,968
l was just walking by, and l saw your car
in the garage there. She's real sexy.
598
00:44:05,133 --> 00:44:08,330
Well, thank you.
She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine.
599
00:44:08,493 --> 00:44:10,165
Yeah, l know.
600
00:44:10,413 --> 00:44:12,973
Why is there a picture of Boss Hogg
on your car, though?
601
00:44:13,133 --> 00:44:15,169
-Yeah, well, he--
-l read somewhere. . .
602
00:44:15,333 --> 00:44:20,805
. . .that Coca-Cola pays you over
$ 1 00,000 to put their logo on your door.
603
00:44:20,973 --> 00:44:22,611
-You read that?
-That same article. . .
604
00:44:22,773 --> 00:44:25,492
. . .mentioned that Budweiser
pays you over $ 1 00,000. . .
605
00:44:25,653 --> 00:44:28,213
-. . .to put their logo on your trunk.
-Look, Daisy. . .
606
00:44:28,373 --> 00:44:31,126
-. . .l'm not much of a reader.
-Boss Hogg's face is sitting. . .
607
00:44:31,293 --> 00:44:34,808
. . .on over $200,000 worth
of real estate.
608
00:44:35,093 --> 00:44:36,446
ls that what he's paying you?
609
00:44:36,613 --> 00:44:41,050
Oh, no, no, Daisy,
this race here is for charity.
610
00:44:41,213 --> 00:44:43,124
Really? Which one?
611
00:44:44,893 --> 00:44:46,372
Anal bifida.
612
00:44:46,533 --> 00:44:48,125
Spinal bifida.
613
00:44:48,453 --> 00:44:49,966
lt's one of the bifidas.
614
00:44:51,973 --> 00:44:55,648
Have l told you that you're as purty
as a Hazzard County sunset?
615
00:44:55,813 --> 00:44:58,930
Have a good day, Mr. Prickett.
616
00:44:59,093 --> 00:45:01,323
Okay.
617
00:45:18,293 --> 00:45:20,682
Lot of smart people out there.
618
00:45:42,933 --> 00:45:45,003
Look out, Katie.
619
00:45:48,213 --> 00:45:50,329
Hello. Hi.
620
00:45:50,653 --> 00:45:52,086
-Hello.
-Hello.
621
00:45:52,253 --> 00:45:55,245
-Oh, boy.
-Hi.
622
00:45:56,213 --> 00:46:00,092
You don't think it's too late
to take them SATs, do you?
623
00:46:04,053 --> 00:46:06,613
You gotta keep an open mind
in college.
624
00:46:08,253 --> 00:46:11,404
This is it, Luke. l can feel it.
625
00:46:11,573 --> 00:46:14,007
Hey, do you know
where Katie Johnson is?
626
00:46:14,173 --> 00:46:15,970
l think she's in that room right there.
627
00:46:16,133 --> 00:46:18,044
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
628
00:46:20,733 --> 00:46:23,122
-l got a great opening line for Katie.
-What is it?
629
00:46:23,293 --> 00:46:25,011
You'll see.
630
00:46:25,173 --> 00:46:27,892
-Katie Johnson?
-She's down the hall.
631
00:46:28,053 --> 00:46:31,443
-Cool.
-Come on, down the hall.
632
00:46:34,093 --> 00:46:36,129
Katie Johnson?
633
00:46:36,293 --> 00:46:39,410
-She's down the hall.
-Do you guys go to school here?
634
00:46:40,453 --> 00:46:42,489
No, but do you have an application?
635
00:46:43,013 --> 00:46:44,366
Not on me.
636
00:46:46,133 --> 00:46:48,363
Come on, now, focus.
637
00:46:53,493 --> 00:46:55,324
Let's hope she's not in here either.
638
00:46:55,533 --> 00:46:58,127
-Katie Johnson?
-Fuck me running!
639
00:46:58,653 --> 00:47:01,451
-You looking for Katie?
-We were.
640
00:47:01,813 --> 00:47:04,532
-You guys Hacky?
-Hacky!
641
00:47:04,693 --> 00:47:07,685
-What about Katie?
-Maybe she's in here.
642
00:47:14,154 --> 00:47:16,543
Goodbye, Bo. Bye, Luke.
643
00:47:16,914 --> 00:47:18,666
l guess she wasn't in there.
644
00:47:18,834 --> 00:47:21,348
-We didn't check under the couch.
-Luke! Bo!
645
00:47:21,514 --> 00:47:23,550
-Katie.
-Katie-Lynn.
646
00:47:27,754 --> 00:47:29,824
So he's still doing that?
647
00:47:31,274 --> 00:47:34,027
-Did l just faint?
-No.
648
00:47:34,194 --> 00:47:36,389
Oh, my God. l can't believe y'all came.
649
00:47:37,354 --> 00:47:40,187
We just wanna pay you visit,
the prettiest girl in Atlanta.
650
00:47:40,554 --> 00:47:42,306
What?
651
00:47:42,474 --> 00:47:45,830
We just wanna pay a visit
to the prettiest girl in Atlanta.
652
00:47:45,994 --> 00:47:48,906
That's sweet. l can't believe
what happened to y'all's farm.
653
00:47:49,074 --> 00:47:50,632
We're gonna get it back.
654
00:47:50,794 --> 00:47:53,513
l love that farm.
l used to have so much fun there.
655
00:47:54,074 --> 00:47:55,712
-See?
-This is my roommate, Annette.
656
00:47:55,874 --> 00:47:58,308
-Annette, this is Bo and Luke.
-Nice to meet you.
657
00:47:58,474 --> 00:48:01,546
-Ma'am.
-Annette's from Australia.
658
00:48:01,834 --> 00:48:04,951
Let's put another shrimp
on the barbie!
659
00:48:08,074 --> 00:48:10,304
-That's what they say there.
-Okay.
660
00:48:10,474 --> 00:48:12,351
What do y'all need
in the geology lab?
661
00:48:12,514 --> 00:48:15,108
lt has something to do
with them taking our farm. . .
662
00:48:15,274 --> 00:48:17,788
. . .but we don't know
what the hell it is.
663
00:48:19,274 --> 00:48:21,993
l don't know that they'll let y'all in,
but we'll take you.
664
00:48:22,154 --> 00:48:25,271
-We'll get dressed. Y'all wait downstairs.
-We're gonna wait here.
665
00:48:25,434 --> 00:48:27,550
Downstairs is fine.
666
00:48:30,994 --> 00:48:33,872
lt's happening, Luke.
lt's all happening.
667
00:48:42,314 --> 00:48:43,986
l'll give you that, Jesse.
668
00:48:44,154 --> 00:48:47,066
-l'll give you that.
-Will you now?
669
00:48:48,114 --> 00:48:50,833
What are you doing with my land,
Jefferson?
670
00:48:51,594 --> 00:48:53,550
Ain't your land anymore.
671
00:48:54,074 --> 00:48:57,305
Wasn't that long ago you was
a moonshiner too. Remember?
672
00:48:57,474 --> 00:48:59,271
Well, l have reformed from my sins.
673
00:48:59,434 --> 00:49:01,868
l am now an honest businessman.
674
00:49:02,034 --> 00:49:03,706
Like sponsoring racecars?
675
00:49:03,914 --> 00:49:06,951
What are you getting out of bringing
Billy Prickett down here?
676
00:49:08,554 --> 00:49:12,388
You know, your nephew's won that race
four years in a row.
677
00:49:12,554 --> 00:49:16,069
Now, who's gonna fault me
for breaking up a dynasty?
678
00:49:16,234 --> 00:49:18,270
Well, l know you're rich,
and l know you stink.
679
00:49:18,434 --> 00:49:20,186
But you ain't stinking rich.
680
00:49:20,354 --> 00:49:22,504
You wouldn't be throwing
that money at Prickett. . .
681
00:49:22,674 --> 00:49:25,234
. . .unless you thought he was
gonna earn you 1 0 times that.
682
00:49:25,394 --> 00:49:29,990
You're a smart man.
So why don't you do the smart thing.
683
00:49:30,154 --> 00:49:33,066
Why don't you take your family
and leave.
684
00:49:33,234 --> 00:49:36,704
Because, see, now l own that farm.
685
00:49:36,874 --> 00:49:40,184
And you ain't never gonna get it back.
686
00:49:51,434 --> 00:49:54,187
l have all the cards, Jesse.
687
00:49:54,354 --> 00:49:55,992
You don't have spit.
688
00:49:56,434 --> 00:49:58,470
lt ain't over yet.
689
00:50:03,034 --> 00:50:05,992
Hey, Bo, l love your car.
She really rumbles.
690
00:50:06,274 --> 00:50:08,868
lt's actually a he. Right, Katie?
691
00:50:15,514 --> 00:50:17,027
l ain't even speeding.
692
00:50:34,274 --> 00:50:36,469
You know how fast you were going?
693
00:50:36,634 --> 00:50:41,230
-What?
-How fast you were going.
694
00:50:42,114 --> 00:50:44,833
-l don't know. Ten?
-Eight.
695
00:50:44,994 --> 00:50:49,829
-lsn't the speed limit 1 0?
-Yeah. lt is.
696
00:50:50,274 --> 00:50:52,663
You guys police?
697
00:50:52,834 --> 00:50:54,392
Campus police.
698
00:51:00,754 --> 00:51:02,710
Mother of God.
699
00:51:11,314 --> 00:51:12,793
Oh, wait.
700
00:51:22,834 --> 00:51:26,713
l know it's a shame to hide your beauty
like this, but it's for your own good.
701
00:51:26,874 --> 00:51:28,227
What?
702
00:51:28,754 --> 00:51:30,949
l'm not even gonna respond to that.
That's crazy.
703
00:51:31,274 --> 00:51:34,949
l know, l'll miss you too.
l'll be right back.
704
00:51:35,474 --> 00:51:38,193
All right, let's go. Let's go.
705
00:51:43,514 --> 00:51:47,666
Katie-Lynn seems like a girl you could
settle down with, don't you think, Luke?
706
00:51:47,834 --> 00:51:49,506
-Yeah.
-l don't know, fellas.
707
00:51:49,674 --> 00:51:51,869
l don't think they're gonna
let us walk in.
708
00:51:52,034 --> 00:51:56,505
You'll think of something, Katie.
You always do. Remember that--?
709
00:51:56,674 --> 00:51:59,188
Oh, you're so pretty.
710
00:52:10,474 --> 00:52:12,863
l have an idea.
711
00:52:19,594 --> 00:52:22,825
-Can l help you?
-You're just the guy we're looking for. . . .
712
00:52:22,994 --> 00:52:24,666
-Royce.
-Royce. . .?
713
00:52:24,834 --> 00:52:28,383
-Royce Williams.
-Royce Williams, maybe you can help us.
714
00:52:28,554 --> 00:52:33,503
We're here looking for the brightest
young geologists for high-paying jobs.
715
00:52:33,674 --> 00:52:35,107
Maybe you've been by our booth.
716
00:52:35,274 --> 00:52:38,471
-You're from Kamasaka Technologies?
-That's right.
717
00:52:38,634 --> 00:52:42,309
l'm Mr. lchinowa,
and this is my colleague. . .
718
00:52:42,474 --> 00:52:43,907
. . .Yoko Takanoshi.
719
00:52:45,434 --> 00:52:46,708
Right on.
720
00:52:47,474 --> 00:52:49,192
You said you were Japanese?
721
00:52:49,754 --> 00:52:50,948
We converted.
722
00:52:52,514 --> 00:52:55,870
Your professor tells us you're some
kind of super-genius or something.
723
00:52:56,034 --> 00:53:00,073
-Really? On my last test l got a C-minus.
-Hey, that's good.
724
00:53:00,234 --> 00:53:03,146
-That's real good.
-You think. . .?
725
00:53:03,314 --> 00:53:05,509
You just might be
Kamasaka Tech material.
726
00:53:06,114 --> 00:53:08,344
You just gotta pass this one little test.
727
00:53:08,514 --> 00:53:12,143
You just tell us what this is right here.
728
00:53:12,394 --> 00:53:14,544
Looks like a core sample.
729
00:53:14,714 --> 00:53:17,706
-Man, that's good.
-He's good.
730
00:53:17,874 --> 00:53:21,344
-Core sample of what?
-Oh, of course.
731
00:53:37,274 --> 00:53:39,947
-What are you doing?
-What?
732
00:53:40,114 --> 00:53:44,107
-What the fuck was that?
-Relax.
733
00:53:53,154 --> 00:53:54,872
Damn! Damn!
734
00:53:55,314 --> 00:53:56,952
These are my good Levi's.
735
00:53:57,114 --> 00:53:59,105
Let's not lose focus here, Royce.
736
00:53:59,274 --> 00:54:00,787
Yes, sir, Mr. Takanoshi.
737
00:54:00,954 --> 00:54:03,468
-What'd you call me?
-Mr. Takanoshi?
738
00:54:04,074 --> 00:54:07,066
Right. That's my name.
739
00:54:08,314 --> 00:54:12,068
-Thought it might be drugs or something.
-l think l know what it is.
740
00:54:24,154 --> 00:54:26,509
Are you really with
Kamasaka Technologies?
741
00:54:26,674 --> 00:54:29,347
Damn it, we are high-powered
Japanese executives.
742
00:54:29,514 --> 00:54:32,028
We work hard,
and we play even harder.
743
00:54:32,194 --> 00:54:33,832
Now, tell us what you see there. . .
744
00:54:33,994 --> 00:54:36,872
. . .or we'll go find another candidate
at Georgia Polytech.
745
00:54:37,034 --> 00:54:39,787
lt's anthracite.
746
00:54:40,314 --> 00:54:43,465
-Coal.
-Coal in Hazzard?
747
00:54:43,634 --> 00:54:46,706
-What's the street value of this?
-This much? Nothing.
748
00:54:46,874 --> 00:54:49,183
A good-sized mine? Could be millions.
749
00:54:49,594 --> 00:54:51,983
Can you show us what
a good-sized mine looks like?
750
00:54:52,154 --> 00:54:54,145
Yeah.
751
00:54:56,954 --> 00:55:00,310
Here's what it used to look like.
And this is the after.
752
00:55:04,834 --> 00:55:06,870
Damn.
753
00:55:07,274 --> 00:55:10,983
-Hogg's gonna do this to Hazzard?
-The hell he is.
754
00:55:11,314 --> 00:55:13,987
Mr. Kamasaka? We have to go.
The plane is leaving.
755
00:55:14,234 --> 00:55:17,988
Congratulations, Royce. You got the job.
How does 24,000 yen a year sound?
756
00:55:18,314 --> 00:55:20,111
Sounds like 40 bucks.
757
00:55:20,274 --> 00:55:21,548
Way to go.
758
00:55:21,714 --> 00:55:24,990
All right, man. See you in Beijing.
759
00:55:28,794 --> 00:55:32,548
-You see two guys come through here?
-You mean those two Japanese guys?
760
00:55:50,914 --> 00:55:53,382
Get me Atlanta P.D. Damn.
761
00:55:53,554 --> 00:55:54,748
Strip-mining?
762
00:55:54,994 --> 00:55:56,347
Why, that slimy bastard.
763
00:55:56,754 --> 00:55:58,187
Here's another little nugget.
764
00:55:58,354 --> 00:56:01,346
Hogg has been paying
that kid Prickett a lot of money. . .
765
00:56:01,514 --> 00:56:03,744
-. . .to race here Saturday.
-He's paying him?
766
00:56:04,234 --> 00:56:07,351
Y'all better get your asses back here
quick as you can, got it?
767
00:56:07,514 --> 00:56:09,823
Ten-four, Shepherd,
this is Lost Sheep out.
768
00:56:11,514 --> 00:56:14,108
What's this? What's these crackers
doing in our place?
769
00:56:14,274 --> 00:56:17,744
Turns out Prickett came back because
Hogg paid him a assload of cash.
770
00:56:18,034 --> 00:56:20,832
Don't mean Billy has anything
to do with strip-mining.
771
00:56:20,994 --> 00:56:22,632
You got to be kidding me.
772
00:56:23,274 --> 00:56:25,105
Oh, shit. Roll them up.
773
00:56:25,914 --> 00:56:28,712
-What the hell is this, man?
-Looks like somebody's lost.
774
00:56:28,874 --> 00:56:32,150
Look, a couple of white boys playing
black. ls that's what's going on?
775
00:56:32,314 --> 00:56:35,704
Actually, we were at the geology lab
for some environmental stuff, and--
776
00:56:35,874 --> 00:56:40,664
No, l get it. They on one of these
reality shows.
777
00:56:40,834 --> 00:56:43,587
-Who Wanna Get They Ass Kicked?
-Yeah.
778
00:56:44,314 --> 00:56:48,148
Why don't you two hillbillies
join us up here for a minute?
779
00:56:48,314 --> 00:56:50,270
Actually, we prefer
Appalachian-Americans.
780
00:56:50,434 --> 00:56:51,992
Man, get out the car!
781
00:56:54,074 --> 00:56:57,669
Now, which one of you two
brothers is Michelangelo?
782
00:56:59,114 --> 00:57:03,471
There's a certain creek that people
sometimes canoe up without a paddle.
783
00:57:03,634 --> 00:57:08,105
You could say that the Duke boys
were on that particular creek right now.
784
00:57:08,274 --> 00:57:10,504
Let's kick they ass, Jerry!
785
00:57:12,114 --> 00:57:14,787
Never thought l'd say this,
but, hot damn, it's the cops.
786
00:57:16,674 --> 00:57:18,027
There goes the canoe.
787
00:57:22,954 --> 00:57:24,910
-Give me your shoelaces.
-What?
788
00:57:25,074 --> 00:57:29,306
These guys over there gave me theirs.
See, l'm gonna fashion myself a lasso.
789
00:57:29,474 --> 00:57:32,944
When the jailer comes in,
l'm gonna rope his keys.
790
00:57:33,114 --> 00:57:37,027
Luke and Bo Duke are home free.
Period, end of story.
791
00:57:37,194 --> 00:57:40,152
l got on cowboy boots, cuz.
792
00:57:40,314 --> 00:57:42,987
l like your style.
793
00:57:43,154 --> 00:57:44,985
You gonna need those shoelaces?
794
00:57:45,154 --> 00:57:47,987
We gonna have to get out of here.
795
00:57:48,234 --> 00:57:52,386
Hey, Yul Brynner. We gotta make
a phone call. We gotta call our lawyer.
796
00:57:52,554 --> 00:57:54,146
What the hell are we in here for?
797
00:57:54,434 --> 00:57:58,746
Well, where should l start?
798
00:58:04,554 --> 00:58:06,431
We know you're gonna
strip-mine Hazzard.
799
00:58:06,594 --> 00:58:09,870
Do you, now? Well, that's good.
800
00:58:10,034 --> 00:58:12,264
Guess where l'm gonna sink
that first drill.
801
00:58:12,434 --> 00:58:14,994
Right down in the middle
of your bedroom.
802
00:58:15,154 --> 00:58:18,829
Y'all do still share a bunk bed, right?
803
00:58:18,994 --> 00:58:22,066
Hey, that's a phat suit there.
What, you some type of pimp?
804
00:58:24,554 --> 00:58:29,184
What has strip-mining got to do with you
paying Billy Prickett to race tomorrow?
805
00:58:29,554 --> 00:58:32,227
You like magic, Luke? Sleight of hand?
806
00:58:32,394 --> 00:58:38,310
See, while you're looking over here,
something's really happening over here.
807
00:58:38,554 --> 00:58:43,674
You see, despite the fact
that l now own your beloved farm. . .
808
00:58:43,914 --> 00:58:48,385
. . .l can't legally mine it,
because the county won't let me.
809
00:58:48,634 --> 00:58:50,943
l need to hold a public hearing,
you know. . .
810
00:58:51,114 --> 00:58:56,472
. . .to give the citizens of Hazzard
a chance to object.
811
00:58:57,114 --> 00:59:00,823
And let me guess, you're going to hold
the hearing during the rally tomorrow?
812
00:59:00,994 --> 00:59:05,112
And if nobody knows about the hearing,
there won't be anyone there to object.
813
00:59:06,114 --> 00:59:08,070
-There you go.
-Sleight of hand.
814
00:59:08,234 --> 00:59:10,464
-Sleight of hand.
-Grow the fingernails out.
815
00:59:10,634 --> 00:59:13,512
Then pop some fingernail polish
on them bitches.
816
00:59:14,794 --> 00:59:16,910
-ls Billy Prickett in on it?
-Prickett?
817
00:59:18,874 --> 00:59:23,390
-Prickett's just collecting a paycheck.
-We ain't gonna let you get away with it.
818
00:59:23,554 --> 00:59:28,184
Really? Tomorrow, if you happen to be
strolling by the courthouse about noon. . .
819
00:59:28,354 --> 00:59:31,505
. . .you might wanna rush right in there
and voice your objections.
820
00:59:31,674 --> 00:59:33,153
Voice this.
821
00:59:35,154 --> 00:59:37,827
Dadgum it. l just remembered.
822
00:59:37,994 --> 00:59:41,191
Tomorrow morning
you're going to the Georgia work farm.
823
00:59:41,354 --> 00:59:45,313
And l hear they have a rather
strict policy on weekend passes.
824
00:59:45,474 --> 00:59:48,307
Yo, B. You need to pop
a feather in that hat, yo.
825
00:59:48,474 --> 00:59:51,034
Then your man ho's will be having
more respect for you.
826
00:59:51,354 --> 00:59:53,026
l have $ 1 00 right here. . .
827
00:59:53,194 --> 00:59:55,833
. . .for whoever knocks
that loudmouth son of a bitch out.
828
00:59:57,674 --> 00:59:59,027
Thank you.
829
00:59:59,194 --> 01:00:01,662
Now, break some rocks for me, boys.
830
01:00:01,834 --> 01:00:04,394
Take care, now, you hear?
831
01:00:04,554 --> 01:00:06,590
Bye-bye.
832
01:00:07,674 --> 01:00:11,110
Don't you know you're not supposed
to wear white after Labor Day?
833
01:00:29,234 --> 01:00:31,031
All right, here's what we're gonna do.
834
01:00:31,194 --> 01:00:35,392
When we stop for gas, we call up Cooter
and tell him to put a pig in the road.
835
01:00:35,554 --> 01:00:39,593
Then when the cops are moving the pig,
Cooter hooks up a cable to the bumper.
836
01:00:39,754 --> 01:00:42,985
Car drives away,
the hook will pull out the whole chassis.
837
01:00:43,154 --> 01:00:45,509
He can't drive without a chassis--
838
01:00:45,674 --> 01:00:47,266
All right, shut up back there!
839
01:00:47,434 --> 01:00:50,312
My cousin's starting to go crazy.
We gotta get him to a hospital.
840
01:00:50,474 --> 01:00:52,704
l think he done caught the fever,
or something.
841
01:00:52,874 --> 01:00:56,264
That's what happens
when you're humping livestock, hillbilly.
842
01:00:56,434 --> 01:00:58,743
Can we help you guys out
with anything up there. . .
843
01:00:58,914 --> 01:01:01,030
. . .oblige you with a reach-around
or something?
844
01:01:01,194 --> 01:01:03,424
Of course, you'd have to un-cuff us first.
845
01:01:03,594 --> 01:01:06,791
Sarge, if you and me was to have
a chase, you think you could catch me?
846
01:01:07,274 --> 01:01:10,311
-Appears to me you caught already, son.
-l'm serious.
847
01:01:10,474 --> 01:01:14,183
lf l had my car and you was in this one,
you really think you could catch me?
848
01:01:14,354 --> 01:01:16,948
Because, bubba,
this car feels kind of slow to me.
849
01:01:17,114 --> 01:01:19,947
She's got plenty under the hood,
don't you worry about that.
850
01:01:20,114 --> 01:01:21,672
-No balls.
-No balls.
851
01:01:21,834 --> 01:01:23,904
No balls. No balls.
852
01:01:24,074 --> 01:01:25,427
-No balls.
-No balls.
853
01:01:25,594 --> 01:01:27,505
You wanna see balls?
854
01:01:27,674 --> 01:01:30,393
-No balls. No balls.
-Will you slow this car down?
855
01:01:30,554 --> 01:01:33,751
You letting them get your panties
in a bunch. You the officer.
856
01:01:33,914 --> 01:01:36,223
Shut the hell up back there. All right?
857
01:01:36,474 --> 01:01:39,750
-No balls.
-Oh, my God. Will you look at that?
858
01:01:39,914 --> 01:01:42,872
You need a napkin
to eat them drumsticks, boy.
859
01:01:44,434 --> 01:01:47,073
-Goddamn it.
-Nice driving!
860
01:01:52,674 --> 01:01:54,630
What seems to be the problem, sugar?
861
01:01:55,114 --> 01:01:57,787
l think something bounced up
into my undercarriage.
862
01:01:57,954 --> 01:02:00,184
-Will you take a look?
-Ma'am, l'd be pleased. . .
863
01:02:00,354 --> 01:02:02,629
-. . .to check your undercarriage.
-Thank you.
864
01:02:02,794 --> 01:02:05,228
l stopped you
because your taillight is out.
865
01:02:05,394 --> 01:02:07,112
Stopped me? Sir, you hit me.
866
01:02:07,274 --> 01:02:10,152
Because your taillight is out,
and we couldn't see you brake.
867
01:02:10,314 --> 01:02:12,544
-You're gonna write me a ticket?
-Yep.
868
01:02:12,874 --> 01:02:14,671
This is ridiculous!
869
01:02:17,034 --> 01:02:19,753
ls there anything l can help you out
with today, ma'am?
870
01:02:19,994 --> 01:02:22,667
Do cute cops grow on trees
around here or what?
871
01:02:22,954 --> 01:02:26,867
Well, l, you know-- Pushups.
Kind of you to notice.
872
01:02:27,034 --> 01:02:29,912
Let me see what's going on
under your hood here.
873
01:02:31,594 --> 01:02:35,189
-Damn, that's hot.
-Here. Maybe this'll help.
874
01:02:38,954 --> 01:02:42,185
-Bless you.
-No, no, no. My undercarriage.
875
01:02:42,354 --> 01:02:44,663
-Your undercarriage?
-Yeah.
876
01:02:51,754 --> 01:02:55,030
Looks like you boys
have the magic touch.
877
01:03:04,514 --> 01:03:06,744
l was about to seal the deal
when you came over.
878
01:03:06,914 --> 01:03:09,030
What? She was looking at me
the whole time.
879
01:03:10,474 --> 01:03:13,193
-Let's get out of here.
-Where are the goddamn keys?
880
01:03:18,394 --> 01:03:20,783
Y'all think you can catch me now?
881
01:03:34,754 --> 01:03:36,551
Buckle up, this might get exciting.
882
01:03:36,714 --> 01:03:39,990
That's all right. We'll be long gone
before another cop shows up.
883
01:03:41,354 --> 01:03:42,503
Get skinny!
884
01:03:53,234 --> 01:03:55,702
-Okay, where's the highway?
-Don't you have a map?
885
01:03:56,754 --> 01:03:58,153
Wait. l got it.
886
01:04:01,514 --> 01:04:02,833
Turn left up here!
887
01:04:02,994 --> 01:04:04,222
Turn left, turn left!
888
01:04:05,714 --> 01:04:07,625
Damn it, l said, left!
889
01:04:07,794 --> 01:04:10,024
-You said your left!
-My left is your left.
890
01:04:10,194 --> 01:04:12,788
l'm gonna need
these directions faster.
891
01:04:15,474 --> 01:04:18,272
lt's okay.
l know exactly where we're at.
892
01:04:25,554 --> 01:04:27,146
So, girls, how's the back seat?
893
01:04:27,314 --> 01:04:31,148
l haven't had this much fun since
we used to sneak up to the hayloft.
894
01:04:32,674 --> 01:04:35,666
You remember those tight little outfits
you used to make me wear.
895
01:04:40,754 --> 01:04:44,224
-l didn't know how to break it to you.
-You didn't know?
896
01:04:44,394 --> 01:04:46,146
Luke, you said he was okay with it.
897
01:04:49,674 --> 01:04:51,949
Look at the road, Bo.
898
01:04:52,234 --> 01:04:54,190
Bo, look at the road.
899
01:04:55,194 --> 01:04:58,345
-Look at the road.
-Supposed to be my time.
900
01:04:59,554 --> 01:05:00,828
Bo!
901
01:05:21,114 --> 01:05:22,433
l think l'm gonna chunder.
902
01:05:22,594 --> 01:05:24,391
-ls that bad?
-That means ""vomit. ""
903
01:05:24,554 --> 01:05:26,033
-Not in the car.
-Bo!
904
01:05:51,754 --> 01:05:54,587
You told me she wasn't
emotionally available for me.
905
01:05:54,754 --> 01:05:57,712
That it was better to lose a lover
than to love a loser!
906
01:05:57,874 --> 01:06:00,149
Because you would faint
every time you saw her!
907
01:06:00,314 --> 01:06:02,782
l don't faint.
908
01:06:04,754 --> 01:06:06,153
You called me a loser?
909
01:06:06,314 --> 01:06:08,191
l was trying to make him feel better.
910
01:06:08,354 --> 01:06:09,867
Can you just let me out here?
911
01:06:23,154 --> 01:06:26,305
Bo, this is some of the best driving
l ever seen you do.
912
01:06:26,474 --> 01:06:29,307
-Ain't that right, girls?
-Great driving, Bo. Great driving.
913
01:06:29,474 --> 01:06:31,066
Don't kiss my ass.
914
01:06:36,194 --> 01:06:39,106
-Bo, you gotta get us out of here.
-l can't hear you.
915
01:06:39,274 --> 01:06:42,152
-You're being ridiculous, Bo.
-Life is ridiculous, Katie.
916
01:06:42,314 --> 01:06:44,270
l really need a plastic bag now.
917
01:06:49,914 --> 01:06:51,791
What is the purpose of this circle?
918
01:06:55,314 --> 01:06:56,588
How do we get out of here?
919
01:06:56,754 --> 01:06:58,870
-Take this right.
-l'm not listening to you.
920
01:06:59,034 --> 01:07:00,911
Take a right here.
921
01:07:02,434 --> 01:07:03,708
Hell.
922
01:07:13,194 --> 01:07:15,310
You're scaring the girls.
Get back on the road.
923
01:07:15,474 --> 01:07:18,227
-Say sorry for stealing Katie.
-You were never together!
924
01:07:18,394 --> 01:07:19,986
l liked her. You betrayed that.
925
01:07:20,154 --> 01:07:22,714
-l liked her too!
-l liked her first.
926
01:07:23,714 --> 01:07:24,908
Calm down, Bo!
927
01:07:25,074 --> 01:07:26,985
l will calm down
when he says he's sorry!
928
01:07:27,154 --> 01:07:29,145
-Say you're sorry.
-l ain't saying it.
929
01:07:29,314 --> 01:07:31,509
Have you made your peace
with God yet, Luke?
930
01:07:31,674 --> 01:07:34,984
Because you're about to
meet your maker!
931
01:07:35,234 --> 01:07:36,633
-Just say you're sorry!
-No.
932
01:07:36,794 --> 01:07:40,309
We had a good time,
and l'm not gonna apologize for that.
933
01:07:55,714 --> 01:07:58,023
Okay, l'm sorry.
934
01:07:58,194 --> 01:08:00,549
Fine. l'll take Annette.
935
01:08:03,474 --> 01:08:05,749
That was fun.
936
01:08:13,514 --> 01:08:15,869
Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep,
are you out there?
937
01:08:16,034 --> 01:08:17,387
Uncle Jesse, where are you?
938
01:08:17,554 --> 01:08:21,149
There's a hearing at the courthouse.
We gotta get everybody over there now.
939
01:08:21,314 --> 01:08:23,623
Sounds like a mighty fine plan, Lucas.
940
01:08:23,794 --> 01:08:26,183
Only got one wrinkle to it.
941
01:08:26,354 --> 01:08:32,543
You do that, could be very bad
for Jesse and Pauline's health.
942
01:08:32,794 --> 01:08:34,466
Hogg, you lay one hand on them. . .
943
01:08:34,634 --> 01:08:37,546
. . .and l'll shove a apple in your mouth
and my foot up your ass.
944
01:08:37,714 --> 01:08:39,306
Well, you bring the Vaseline.
945
01:08:39,954 --> 01:08:41,546
We'll make it a party.
946
01:08:41,714 --> 01:08:45,070
You two boys stay out of Hazzard,
and I mean it this time.
947
01:08:45,234 --> 01:08:47,907
-Where you think they got them?
-l don't know.
948
01:08:48,074 --> 01:08:51,271
-Hogg's never gone this far before.
-You ready to go that far?
949
01:08:51,954 --> 01:08:55,344
Cousin, l'm always ready
to go that far.
950
01:09:08,074 --> 01:09:11,191
What are we doing here?
This is Derek Sheevington's place.
951
01:09:11,354 --> 01:09:15,472
Yeah. Pretty good chance this is gonna
get ugly, so we're gonna drop you here.
952
01:09:15,634 --> 01:09:18,512
He got caught drinking
out of the toilet in the girls' bathroom.
953
01:09:18,674 --> 01:09:22,189
l know, l know. But we're gonna need
you girls to work with him.
954
01:09:23,194 --> 01:09:24,422
Oh, good God.
955
01:09:27,154 --> 01:09:29,714
Why, Katie Johnson, is that you?
956
01:09:29,874 --> 01:09:31,592
Boy, you filled out real nice.
957
01:09:31,754 --> 01:09:34,473
Yeah. You filled out
real nice too, Sheev.
958
01:09:34,634 --> 01:09:38,422
What's going on, Sheev? Looks like
we're gonna need some of those toys.
959
01:09:38,674 --> 01:09:42,303
Leave them two girls here,
l'll give you anything you want.
960
01:09:42,474 --> 01:09:44,908
Come on in. l'll put a stew on.
961
01:09:54,114 --> 01:09:57,789
-Hazzard County Police Department.
-Enos, this is Boss Hogg.
962
01:09:57,954 --> 01:09:59,865
Me and Rosco are over
at the Duke place.
963
01:10:00,034 --> 01:10:03,709
-lf anybody wants us, we'll be here.
-Well, that's mighty consid--
964
01:10:06,114 --> 01:10:10,426
Rosco, l'm going over
and join the governor at the rally.
965
01:10:10,594 --> 01:10:14,223
Do not be late
going to the courthouse.
966
01:10:14,394 --> 01:10:17,545
Boss, how come you told old Enos there
where we was at?
967
01:10:20,834 --> 01:10:23,223
You remember the time
we tried to fix the rodeo?
968
01:10:23,394 --> 01:10:26,943
-Yeah.
-lt was Enos that told the Dukes.
969
01:10:27,394 --> 01:10:30,750
Then we tried to spread those rumors
about the Mad Cow Disease. . .
970
01:10:30,914 --> 01:10:34,907
. . .so my chicken factories
would make a little more profit.
971
01:10:35,074 --> 01:10:37,463
lt was Enos that told the Duke boys.
972
01:10:37,634 --> 01:10:40,194
So you want them Duke boys
to come out here?
973
01:11:11,234 --> 01:11:16,183
Enos, where's Boss Hogg and Rosco?
974
01:11:16,354 --> 01:11:18,663
They're at your farm.
975
01:11:19,234 --> 01:11:21,270
Thank you, Enos.
976
01:11:25,794 --> 01:11:28,103
That might be a new record.
977
01:11:33,794 --> 01:11:36,183
What? Okay, thanks, Daisy.
978
01:11:38,034 --> 01:11:39,353
He's at our farm.
979
01:11:41,634 --> 01:11:43,670
Hey. Hey, look, there's Prickett.
980
01:11:44,354 --> 01:11:46,424
-So?
-He can help us.
981
01:11:46,594 --> 01:11:49,313
He don't care about Hazzard.
He's getting paid to be here.
982
01:11:49,474 --> 01:11:51,624
Oh, man, you're wrong.
He's from here.
983
01:11:58,674 --> 01:12:01,507
-You out of your goddamn mind?
-Hey, Billy.
984
01:12:01,674 --> 01:12:05,349
-Boss Hogg's gonna strip-mine Hazzard.
-Just hold your horses.
985
01:12:05,514 --> 01:12:08,586
-Who's stripping?
-He's playing you, man.
986
01:12:08,754 --> 01:12:11,268
-He paid you to come and race--
-Just save your breath.
987
01:12:11,434 --> 01:12:14,153
-l already know.
-You already know?
988
01:12:15,714 --> 01:12:19,070
-But this is your hometown.
-l hate to break this to you, Bo-Bo. . .
989
01:12:19,234 --> 01:12:21,794
. . .but this place is a shithole.
990
01:12:21,954 --> 01:12:25,742
lf it wasn't a strip mine,
it'd be a strip mall.
991
01:12:27,314 --> 01:12:31,626
Kind of like one of them outlets where
everything's reduced prices and. . . .
992
01:12:31,794 --> 01:12:35,309
Hell, they don't even have an Outback
Steakhouse down here. Am l right?
993
01:12:35,474 --> 01:12:38,227
-Right as pie, Billy.
-Saddle up, Dil.
994
01:12:42,434 --> 01:12:46,586
Look at the bright side, Bo-Bo. At least
you didn't have to race me today.
995
01:12:46,754 --> 01:12:50,383
Because l would've left that little Tonka
toy you drive at the starting stripe.
996
01:12:50,554 --> 01:12:52,829
-Tonka.
-l'm gonna kill him.
997
01:12:52,994 --> 01:12:55,144
Hey, hey, hey!
998
01:12:55,314 --> 01:12:57,464
-What about Uncle Jesse?
-Wanna ride this stag?
999
01:12:57,634 --> 01:13:00,865
-You wanna rodeo with this clown?
-Uncle Jesse's old, Luke.
1000
01:13:01,034 --> 01:13:02,626
He's had a good run.
1001
01:13:02,794 --> 01:13:08,187
Besides, if he passes, God have mercy
on his soul, we get the farm.
1002
01:13:11,074 --> 01:13:14,032
l'm just playing with you, man.
Let's go get him.
1003
01:13:25,154 --> 01:13:26,792
They're here.
1004
01:13:33,234 --> 01:13:34,553
Cooter, you ready out there?
1005
01:13:34,714 --> 01:13:37,786
You get Rosco out of there,
Daisy and I'll take care of the rest.
1006
01:13:37,954 --> 01:13:40,912
What do you say we smoke
the varmint out of his hole?
1007
01:13:43,554 --> 01:13:46,751
Hey, Rosco, come on out,
you fat son of a bitch!
1008
01:13:52,834 --> 01:13:55,223
-Cletus, get your butt out there.
-Thank you, Rosco.
1009
01:14:08,874 --> 01:14:11,513
-Let me know if you're gonna puke!
-Oh, you'll know first!
1010
01:14:18,394 --> 01:14:21,625
All right, boys! Y'all come on
out of there with your hands up.
1011
01:14:23,314 --> 01:14:25,464
-Hey, Rosco!
-Hi, Boo-Boo.
1012
01:14:35,874 --> 01:14:38,069
l didn't know we had so many pigs
on the farm.
1013
01:14:49,474 --> 01:14:52,511
-l call this ""painting the fence. ""
-l think you missed a spot.
1014
01:14:56,354 --> 01:14:58,265
Look out, look out!
1015
01:14:58,474 --> 01:15:00,704
-You gonna get us out of here?
-l'm working on it!
1016
01:15:16,034 --> 01:15:18,070
Man, they're hauling ass, pick it up!
1017
01:15:27,794 --> 01:15:29,989
-You gonna make that?
-l'm planning on it.
1018
01:15:32,954 --> 01:15:34,751
Hold on, Luke.
1019
01:15:38,314 --> 01:15:40,032
l'll go in this direction now!
1020
01:15:53,234 --> 01:15:55,953
All right, Jesse. l'm arresting those--
1021
01:15:56,474 --> 01:15:59,466
Jesse? Jesse?
1022
01:16:02,434 --> 01:16:04,345
Courthouse.
1023
01:16:12,394 --> 01:16:15,864
Attention!
Attention, good people of Hazzard!
1024
01:16:16,074 --> 01:16:18,827
Life as we know it is about to end.
1025
01:16:18,994 --> 01:16:23,590
As we speak, dark forces are conspiring
to strip-mine our land.
1026
01:16:23,754 --> 01:16:25,984
Follow me to the courthouse,
and we'll save you!
1027
01:16:27,794 --> 01:16:31,787
Yeah, right, Sheev. Last year
the ClA was brainwashing our cows.
1028
01:16:32,434 --> 01:16:33,753
Get a job, man.
1029
01:16:34,994 --> 01:16:36,746
Hey, Sheev. Sheev.
1030
01:16:36,914 --> 01:16:40,793
-Go back to your spaceship.
-l'm serious. Come on!
1031
01:16:41,914 --> 01:16:42,903
Bye, Sheev.
1032
01:16:56,714 --> 01:16:58,545
lt might be good
if you helped out here.
1033
01:16:58,714 --> 01:17:00,784
-Hell, move over, l'll drive.
-No way.
1034
01:17:00,954 --> 01:17:02,706
l'm still hoping to survive this thing.
1035
01:17:04,634 --> 01:17:06,226
Goddamn it. Son of a bitch.
1036
01:17:09,394 --> 01:17:12,227
l like the way you think, cuz.
Yeah, boy!
1037
01:17:30,034 --> 01:17:31,513
Hold on.
1038
01:17:45,794 --> 01:17:48,024
Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep,
are you out there?
1039
01:17:48,634 --> 01:17:49,749
Go for Lost Sheep.
1040
01:17:49,914 --> 01:17:52,030
-Free and clear.
-Good.
1041
01:17:52,234 --> 01:17:54,668
Sheev's making sure everyone
goes to the hearing.
1042
01:17:54,834 --> 01:17:56,506
-l'll see you in town.
-Over and out.
1043
01:17:56,674 --> 01:17:58,107
Let's get the hell out of here.
1044
01:18:03,154 --> 01:18:06,908
-Barn door, coming up.
-Yeah, l see it. Hold on!
1045
01:18:28,434 --> 01:18:30,072
The General!
1046
01:18:30,274 --> 01:18:31,912
Let's head to the courthouse!
1047
01:18:36,034 --> 01:18:38,912
End of the World to Lost Sheep,
End of the World to Lost Sheep.
1048
01:18:39,074 --> 01:18:40,951
-Come in, Lost Sheep.
-What do you got?
1049
01:18:41,114 --> 01:18:43,344
-Everybody headed into town?
-That's a negative.
1050
01:18:43,514 --> 01:18:44,947
Repeat, that's a negative.
1051
01:18:45,114 --> 01:18:47,582
No one listened.
They threw hot dogs at us.
1052
01:18:48,394 --> 01:18:51,113
-Did you tell them about the strip mine?
-Of course l did.
1053
01:18:51,674 --> 01:18:54,666
Were you wearing a armadillo helmet
when you told them about it?
1054
01:18:56,914 --> 01:18:58,142
No.
1055
01:18:59,154 --> 01:19:00,587
Okay, Lost Sheep out.
1056
01:19:01,594 --> 01:19:03,152
No one's heading in to town?
1057
01:19:03,314 --> 01:19:07,148
lf we don't get to that courthouse
by noon, there ain't gonna be no town.
1058
01:19:09,914 --> 01:19:13,509
-Well, we still got time for Plan B.
-l like Plan B.
1059
01:19:13,674 --> 01:19:14,902
-Plan B.
-Plan B.
1060
01:19:15,074 --> 01:19:17,190
When you're flying by the seat
of your pants...
1061
01:19:17,354 --> 01:19:20,346
...nothing sounds more official
than a Plan B.
1062
01:19:21,914 --> 01:19:24,633
Don't worry, cuz,
l'll get them to the courthouse.
1063
01:19:47,714 --> 01:19:50,831
This emergency hearing
is now in session.
1064
01:19:52,314 --> 01:19:54,384
Rosco, where is everybody?
1065
01:19:55,834 --> 01:19:57,153
l'm here.
1066
01:19:57,794 --> 01:19:59,068
Well, we have until noon.
1067
01:20:38,434 --> 01:20:42,586
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls. . .
1068
01:20:42,754 --> 01:20:47,509
. . .it's my honor today
to introduce my friend. . .
1069
01:20:47,674 --> 01:20:53,590
. . .and the friend of everybody in the
greatest state of the United States. . .
1070
01:20:56,274 --> 01:21:01,587
. . .the governor, James T. Applewhite!
1071
01:21:01,834 --> 01:21:04,029
Thank you. Thank you.
1072
01:21:05,314 --> 01:21:06,872
Ladies and gentlemen. . .
1073
01:21:07,034 --> 01:21:11,824
. . .welcome to the
70th Annual Hazzard Road Rally!
1074
01:21:14,034 --> 01:21:16,992
Drivers, start your engines!
1075
01:21:27,674 --> 01:21:31,792
Just have a couple piña coladas
waiting for me at the finish line, Dil.
1076
01:21:31,954 --> 01:21:33,706
Here comes the heat.
1077
01:21:37,554 --> 01:21:39,226
There they go.
1078
01:21:44,874 --> 01:21:46,705
Come on, come on, come on.
1079
01:22:06,834 --> 01:22:08,665
He's in the race!
1080
01:22:38,754 --> 01:22:41,951
lt has been confirmed that the
orange car that entered the race. . .
1081
01:22:42,114 --> 01:22:44,867
. . .is in fact the same car
that tore up Atlanta this morning.
1082
01:22:45,034 --> 01:22:48,993
It seems that the ""orange-car fugitives""
are from right here in Hazzard County.
1083
01:22:49,154 --> 01:22:52,066
State and local authorities
are trying to subdue the vehicle. . .
1084
01:22:52,234 --> 01:22:53,747
. . .known as the General Lee.
1085
01:22:53,914 --> 01:22:57,623
Well, General-Lee speaking, l'd say those
cops are in for a pretty tough time.
1086
01:22:57,794 --> 01:22:59,864
l'm Rick Shakely.
Back to you, Marty.
1087
01:23:05,234 --> 01:23:08,306
This is Boss Hogg.
The Dukes are on the course.
1088
01:23:08,474 --> 01:23:14,151
I want all available vehicles to shut down
the road to the courthouse!
1089
01:23:14,314 --> 01:23:16,589
-We're gonna need to clear a path.
-You got it.
1090
01:23:20,154 --> 01:23:24,272
Hey, Dil, what's the word
on those Céline Dion tickets?
1091
01:23:25,234 --> 01:23:29,193
Well, of course l wanna go backstage.
Don't be dumb.
1092
01:24:19,314 --> 01:24:20,429
Damn.
1093
01:24:33,194 --> 01:24:37,153
Enos. l want you
down to the courthouse. l--
1094
01:24:38,634 --> 01:24:39,987
Someone moved my car.
1095
01:24:41,794 --> 01:24:45,582
Enos, you dipstick,
did somebody move my car?
1096
01:24:46,114 --> 01:24:49,151
Hell, let's just sack up
and shoot the bastard.
1097
01:24:51,594 --> 01:24:54,062
Holy shit!
1098
01:24:54,554 --> 01:24:56,510
Luke, where the hell are you?
1099
01:25:11,474 --> 01:25:14,272
-Good God almighty.
-lt's about time!
1100
01:25:14,434 --> 01:25:17,153
-How's the race going?
-How's it look like it's going?
1101
01:26:03,114 --> 01:26:04,547
Why, you dirty son of a bitch.
1102
01:26:08,194 --> 01:26:09,866
Hey, go easy on that.
1103
01:26:10,034 --> 01:26:13,868
For what l'm getting ready to do,
l don't wanna remember a lot of it.
1104
01:26:19,994 --> 01:26:21,712
You know why tornadoes and blonds. . .
1105
01:26:21,874 --> 01:26:23,830
-. . .are so much alike?
-No.
1106
01:26:23,994 --> 01:26:28,465
At first, there's a lot of sucking and
blowing, and then you lose your house.
1107
01:26:33,394 --> 01:26:36,113
Know what you get when you cross
a donkey with an onion?
1108
01:26:36,274 --> 01:26:37,787
-No.
-You get a piece of ass. . .
1109
01:26:37,954 --> 01:26:40,752
. . .that'll bring a tear to your eye.
1110
01:26:45,514 --> 01:26:46,993
You thinking about throwing it?
1111
01:26:47,154 --> 01:26:49,304
Oh, l'll throw it.
l was thinking about pussy.
1112
01:26:56,754 --> 01:26:58,790
You know why divorces
are so expensive?
1113
01:26:58,954 --> 01:27:01,422
-No.
-Because they're worth it.
1114
01:27:04,274 --> 01:27:06,230
Fire in the hole.
1115
01:27:11,914 --> 01:27:15,509
Hey, Bo, take it home.
The coast is clear.
1116
01:27:26,954 --> 01:27:28,751
Here we go again.
1117
01:27:28,914 --> 01:27:30,984
Okay, l'm gonna get those cops
to follow me.
1118
01:27:31,154 --> 01:27:33,873
When l do, tow those cruisers
out of the way.
1119
01:27:34,034 --> 01:27:35,865
Can do.
1120
01:27:49,354 --> 01:27:52,312
Excuse me, officers.
My car broke down up the street there. . .
1121
01:27:52,474 --> 01:27:54,669
. . .and l was wondering
if y'all could help me out.
1122
01:27:54,834 --> 01:27:57,632
Why, yes, ma'am.
We'll be happy to.
1123
01:27:57,794 --> 01:28:01,025
-Oh, you're sweet.
-Let's go.
1124
01:28:01,554 --> 01:28:04,944
Halt! Tough shit, honey.
You go fix your own car.
1125
01:28:05,114 --> 01:28:06,627
Ain't no one going anywhere.
1126
01:28:07,554 --> 01:28:09,590
What the hell are you doing?
1127
01:28:19,434 --> 01:28:20,708
Come on, General.
1128
01:28:50,794 --> 01:28:53,024
Hey, Dil, we got a late arrival!
1129
01:29:02,314 --> 01:29:03,906
Hey, Billy!
1130
01:29:13,514 --> 01:29:15,744
You're gonna pay for that, Bo-Bo.
1131
01:29:19,754 --> 01:29:22,109
l've had just about enough of you.
1132
01:29:34,034 --> 01:29:35,262
Here they come.
1133
01:29:50,554 --> 01:29:53,114
Of course l can feel him on my left!
Of course l can!
1134
01:29:57,834 --> 01:30:00,906
-Where is he getting this from?
-Hey, Billy!
1135
01:30:01,074 --> 01:30:02,427
He's playing with me!
1136
01:30:10,034 --> 01:30:12,594
-Come on.
-The General Lee has won the race.
1137
01:30:14,154 --> 01:30:15,667
l want him tested for steroids!
1138
01:30:19,314 --> 01:30:22,272
But Billy Prickett and the General Lee
haven't had quite enough driving.
1139
01:30:22,434 --> 01:30:24,265
They're still going.
1140
01:30:25,674 --> 01:30:27,824
-Come on, y'all!
-We'll interview these guys. . .
1141
01:30:27,994 --> 01:30:30,952
. . .if we have to chase after
them ourselves. Tito, start the van.
1142
01:30:31,474 --> 01:30:33,305
Better luck next time, Hogg.
1143
01:30:33,474 --> 01:30:34,953
Let's go, baby.
1144
01:30:42,394 --> 01:30:44,350
Don't go home, really.
1145
01:30:46,474 --> 01:30:48,385
This is Boss Hogg.
1146
01:30:48,554 --> 01:30:53,184
That road better be shut down
tighter than a tick's ass.
1147
01:30:53,834 --> 01:30:56,223
Ten-four. Barricade's in place.
1148
01:31:01,874 --> 01:31:03,910
Rosco, is anyone coming?
1149
01:31:04,474 --> 01:31:08,387
-What, l ain't good enough for you?
-No comment.
1150
01:31:09,834 --> 01:31:12,268
Don't write that down.
Don't write that down.
1151
01:31:12,474 --> 01:31:15,352
-Are they coming?
-Oh, yeah, they're coming.
1152
01:31:15,514 --> 01:31:17,903
We got the whole town headed
to the courthouse.
1153
01:31:19,114 --> 01:31:22,186
-Daisy, we all clear?
-Not exactly.
1154
01:31:22,354 --> 01:31:24,868
""Not exactly"" could be a problem.
1155
01:31:25,034 --> 01:31:29,027
Bo? I think we're gonna have
to shoot the moon.
1156
01:31:43,834 --> 01:31:46,268
-What the hell are you doing, Cooter?
-Sorry, officer.
1157
01:31:46,434 --> 01:31:48,311
l heard a pretty lady needed a tow.
1158
01:31:51,314 --> 01:31:54,112
-Cooter.
-l can't hear you.
1159
01:31:54,274 --> 01:31:56,583
Cooter, what the hell are you doing?
1160
01:32:04,314 --> 01:32:06,589
Hey, Billy!
1161
01:32:06,754 --> 01:32:08,745
You think l was born
yesterday, Bo-Bo?
1162
01:32:09,994 --> 01:32:11,905
Oh, shit!
1163
01:32:19,794 --> 01:32:21,432
Holy shit.
1164
01:32:37,234 --> 01:32:39,794
Luke, l made it, but l don't know
how anybody else will.
1165
01:32:39,954 --> 01:32:42,707
That's okay, l got an idea!
1166
01:32:46,394 --> 01:32:48,146
Well, l'll see you on the other side.
1167
01:33:02,794 --> 01:33:04,750
Give me
your goddamn driver's license.
1168
01:33:04,954 --> 01:33:06,626
What license?
1169
01:33:13,194 --> 01:33:15,708
What are we waiting on, judge?
Let's finish this thing.
1170
01:33:15,874 --> 01:33:17,626
Well, l guess it's that time.
1171
01:33:17,794 --> 01:33:20,592
l just can't believe
that nobody wants to object.
1172
01:33:21,994 --> 01:33:25,543
All those in favor
of the strip-mining ordinance?
1173
01:33:27,274 --> 01:33:29,504
-They're gonna strip-mine Hazzard?
-Damn straight.
1174
01:33:29,674 --> 01:33:33,872
-How can they do that?
-Don't worry, we're about to stop them.
1175
01:33:34,994 --> 01:33:36,950
All those opposed?
1176
01:33:38,834 --> 01:33:41,348
What the hell is that?
Who locked that door?
1177
01:33:45,634 --> 01:33:48,102
-Oh, man, that's gonna hurt tomorrow.
-Your Honor!
1178
01:33:48,314 --> 01:33:52,592
l think we got some people who might
like to object to this strip-mining issue.
1179
01:33:53,034 --> 01:33:56,310
Okay, all those opposed
to the strip-mining ordinance?
1180
01:33:59,234 --> 01:34:04,752
This court hereby declares that the
strip-mining ordinance is dismissed.
1181
01:34:09,954 --> 01:34:12,946
Thank you much. Thank you, Boss.
Hi, how y'all?
1182
01:34:13,194 --> 01:34:15,788
She might be a little low on gas.
1183
01:34:15,954 --> 01:34:17,831
Take that.
1184
01:34:18,954 --> 01:34:22,151
Were you really gonna strip-mine
Hazzard, Mr. Hogg?
1185
01:34:22,914 --> 01:34:25,382
l was thinking about it.
1186
01:34:26,954 --> 01:34:28,706
-Out of the way.
-Step aside, please.
1187
01:34:28,874 --> 01:34:30,148
Excuse me, ma'am.
1188
01:34:31,474 --> 01:34:33,669
-Get your hands up.
-People, move back.
1189
01:34:33,834 --> 01:34:35,392
Hands up, hands up.
1190
01:34:35,554 --> 01:34:38,785
Okay. Looks like the party's over.
1191
01:34:38,954 --> 01:34:41,912
Damn right it is.
As long as l'm a county commissioner. . .
1192
01:34:42,074 --> 01:34:44,827
. . .for the great state of Georgia,
you two are gonna rot. . .
1193
01:34:44,994 --> 01:34:47,383
. . .in the penitentiary. Cuff him.
1194
01:34:48,554 --> 01:34:49,828
Let them go!
1195
01:34:50,114 --> 01:34:51,786
Let them go!
1196
01:34:51,954 --> 01:34:55,185
Excuse me, Rick Shakely. l think
the governor has a statement to make.
1197
01:34:55,354 --> 01:34:57,151
-Well, hot dog.
-l do?
1198
01:34:57,314 --> 01:34:59,703
Yes, sir. You wanted to comment
on how these boys. . .
1199
01:34:59,874 --> 01:35:02,069
. . .are the heroes
for saving Hazzard County.
1200
01:35:02,234 --> 01:35:05,112
-That's right, governor!
-Come on, governor!
1201
01:35:06,474 --> 01:35:08,351
Certainly, certainly.
1202
01:35:08,514 --> 01:35:11,950
As you know, l've always been
a great friend to the environment.
1203
01:35:12,394 --> 01:35:15,192
And these boys,
they're environmental heroes!
1204
01:35:16,874 --> 01:35:20,867
And because they're heroes, you're
gonna pardon them for all their crimes?
1205
01:35:23,914 --> 01:35:27,145
Moreover, as governor,
l hereby pardon these boys. . .
1206
01:35:27,314 --> 01:35:31,102
. . .of any and all offenses against
the great state of Georgia. Go Dogs!
1207
01:35:34,234 --> 01:35:37,749
Governor? l wanna thank you
for pardoning me too.
1208
01:35:37,914 --> 01:35:40,872
-Pardon you for what?
-For this.
1209
01:35:45,434 --> 01:35:47,823
Oh, what the hell. l pardon him too.
1210
01:35:49,994 --> 01:35:53,384
Here's to Hazzard County's
real favorite sons.
1211
01:35:56,754 --> 01:35:59,666
The day had been saved, as they say.
1212
01:35:59,834 --> 01:36:02,394
Hazzard was put back the way it was.
1213
01:36:02,554 --> 01:36:05,193
Boss Hogg had some explaining to do.
1214
01:36:05,354 --> 01:36:07,743
And the Dukes got their farm back
and celebrated...
1215
01:36:07,914 --> 01:36:11,111
... with a good old-fashioned
pig-picking barbecue.
1216
01:36:11,274 --> 01:36:14,266
Hey, Billy. Daisy, l think
you ought to get up there and sing.
1217
01:36:14,434 --> 01:36:17,983
-Oh, no. l only sing in the shower.
-l'll get the water running.
1218
01:36:18,154 --> 01:36:20,509
-Let's get Uncle Jesse to do it.
-Good idea.
1219
01:36:20,674 --> 01:36:23,871
Pauline, where's Uncle Jesse?
We want him to sing a song.
1220
01:36:24,034 --> 01:36:27,106
l think l might know where he is.
1221
01:36:31,034 --> 01:36:32,228
An apple?
1222
01:36:32,514 --> 01:36:35,267
An apple a day
will keep the doctor away, darling.
1223
01:36:35,434 --> 01:36:38,312
Come on, Jesse,
they want you to sing.
1224
01:36:38,474 --> 01:36:42,103
-Real refreshing.
-They are, aren't they?
1225
01:36:51,634 --> 01:36:53,306
lt feels like old times again.
1226
01:36:53,474 --> 01:36:57,023
Yeah, except for now we don't
gotta worry about Bo finding out.
1227
01:36:57,194 --> 01:37:00,550
l swear you're the most beautiful thing
l've ever seen.
1228
01:37:00,714 --> 01:37:03,387
-You're sweet.
-Yeah.
1229
01:37:03,554 --> 01:37:05,670
l would really like to give you
a bath later.
1230
01:37:05,834 --> 01:37:07,904
Clean you up real nice.
Would you like that?
1231
01:37:08,074 --> 01:37:11,146
-l'd like that.
-Yeah. Yeah.
1232
01:37:11,314 --> 01:37:14,943
Don't worry about her. She's crazy.
1233
01:37:21,194 --> 01:37:22,673
Hey there, Laurie.
1234
01:37:22,834 --> 01:37:25,792
You forgot to make your delivery
this week, Luke Duke.
1235
01:37:26,314 --> 01:37:29,272
-Go, Bo, go.
-Luke, you man-whore.
1236
01:37:29,994 --> 01:37:32,508
You get back here, you bastard!
1237
01:37:32,674 --> 01:37:34,027
See y'all later.
1238
01:37:47,554 --> 01:37:49,146
Okay, this is A-camera marker.
1239
01:37:49,314 --> 01:37:52,272
-Actually, she's my cousin.
-That don't make a difference to me.
1240
01:37:52,434 --> 01:37:56,268
Hell, long as she's your sister.
What the fuck did l just say?
1241
01:38:01,194 --> 01:38:04,823
Don't you know you're not supposed
to wear white after Labor Day?
1242
01:38:07,674 --> 01:38:09,665
-Come on, cut that out.
-Seann.
1243
01:38:09,834 --> 01:38:11,904
Do l need to mark this thing?
1244
01:38:12,074 --> 01:38:13,393
It's called common markers.
1245
01:38:13,554 --> 01:38:15,829
l wonder if Richard Burton
ever had to do that.
1246
01:38:56,194 --> 01:38:59,630
What the fuck?
That's the kiss you guys are having?
1247
01:38:59,794 --> 01:39:02,547
What the fuck?
l'm a total fucking moron.
1248
01:39:02,714 --> 01:39:05,274
-lt gets longer and longer, doesn't it?
-Come on.
1249
01:39:05,434 --> 01:39:08,824
How these boys are the heroes for--
Oh, my Lord.
1250
01:39:08,994 --> 01:39:12,270
Every time l look at her titties,
she loses her line.
1251
01:39:14,234 --> 01:39:16,623
-I love it except for the hair in your eyes.
-l know.
1252
01:39:16,794 --> 01:39:18,671
-How's my hair?
-Okay.
1253
01:39:18,834 --> 01:39:20,870
How'd you miss that?
1254
01:39:21,154 --> 01:39:24,305
-Gonna take your hands off the wheel?
-He showed me his balls.
1255
01:39:24,474 --> 01:39:27,147
Sorry. Okay, okay. We'll do it again.
Okay, keep going.
1256
01:39:27,314 --> 01:39:29,145
For your. . . .
1257
01:39:30,994 --> 01:39:33,747
-Don't tell me, it rhymes with ""anus. ""
-Heinous.
1258
01:39:33,914 --> 01:39:36,109
For your heinous crimes.
1259
01:39:36,274 --> 01:39:39,186
Have you been running this
around the clock, Uncle Jesse?
1260
01:39:48,714 --> 01:39:52,423
Did l say ""shit"" or ""hell"" that time?
With ""ass"" or ""dick""? l said ""hell""?
1261
01:39:54,114 --> 01:39:57,663
Dang it, a little help. A little help.
1262
01:39:58,914 --> 01:40:01,348
-Cut it.
-Cut.
1263
01:40:01,514 --> 01:40:06,383
Come on, be a bro, be a bro.
Get it away! Come on. Get it away!
1264
01:40:06,554 --> 01:40:08,192
-Move over.
-Hey.
1265
01:40:08,354 --> 01:40:11,471
-There weren't any bananas.
-Oh, that's okay.
1266
01:40:12,434 --> 01:40:16,188
-Where's Bo?
-To hell with Bo, it's Boo!
1267
01:40:16,354 --> 01:40:17,753
Lunch!
1268
01:40:22,834 --> 01:40:24,552
Thank you very much.
1269
01:40:26,314 --> 01:40:29,306
Look at me, l'm flying. l'm flying!
1270
01:40:29,474 --> 01:40:32,750
Oh, it's so much fun. l'm okay.
1271
01:42:27,274 --> 01:42:29,265
Subtitles by
SDl Media Group
1272
01:42:29,434 --> 01:42:31,425
[ENGLlSH]