1
00:02:36,313 --> 00:02:37,871
Dolly:
Mrs. Dolly Levi...
2
00:02:45,756 --> 00:02:48,486
Dolly: Social introductions
arranged...
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00:02:56,834 --> 00:02:59,632
Woman:... In an atmosphere
of elegance and refinement.
4
00:03:02,273 --> 00:03:04,707
Woman:
"Object-matrimony. "
5
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,725
Business trip or
pleasure trip, Mrs. Levi?
6
00:04:38,802 --> 00:04:40,736
Mr. Jones, with me,
business is always a pleasure.
7
00:04:40,804 --> 00:04:43,364
You've got more businesses
than a dog has fleas.
8
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:44,407
As my late husband
Ephraim used to say,
9
00:04:44,475 --> 00:04:47,103
if you have to live
from hand to mouth,
10
00:04:47,177 --> 00:04:48,974
you'd better be
ambidextrous.
11
00:04:49,046 --> 00:04:50,809
Ha ha ha!
12
00:05:24,548 --> 00:05:25,913
Where to, Dolly?
13
00:05:25,983 --> 00:05:28,213
Yonkers, to handle
a highly personal matter
14
00:05:28,285 --> 00:05:30,219
for Mr. Horace
Vandergelder,
15
00:05:30,287 --> 00:05:31,720
the well-known,
16
00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:32,778
unmarried
half-a-millionaire.
17
00:05:32,856 --> 00:05:35,222
Gonna marry him
yourself, Dolly?
18
00:05:35,292 --> 00:05:37,760
Whatever put such
a preposterous idea
19
00:05:37,828 --> 00:05:39,090
into my head-
20
00:05:39,163 --> 00:05:41,131
Your head. Oh!
21
00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:07,952
Don't be ashamed, girls.
22
00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:09,822
Life is full of secrets,
and I keep 'em!
23
00:09:48,229 --> 00:09:50,663
I've told you
a thousand times
24
00:09:50,731 --> 00:09:52,665
that I will
marry her!
25
00:09:52,733 --> 00:09:54,667
Not without my permission
you won't!
26
00:09:54,735 --> 00:09:56,566
This is
a free country!
27
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,502
She's consented and
I'm going to marry her!
28
00:09:58,573 --> 00:10:00,200
I'm telling you
that you will not!
29
00:10:00,274 --> 00:10:01,798
And I'm telling you
I will!
30
00:10:01,876 --> 00:10:02,968
Never!
31
00:10:03,044 --> 00:10:04,204
Tomorrow! Today!
32
00:10:04,278 --> 00:10:05,711
Ermengarde's not for you
nor anybody else...
33
00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:07,179
who can't support her.
You are an artist!
34
00:10:07,248 --> 00:10:09,182
I make a very good
living!
35
00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,184
A living's made
by selling
36
00:10:11,252 --> 00:10:13,186
something everybody
needs at least once a year,
37
00:10:13,254 --> 00:10:16,189
and a million is made
by producing something
38
00:10:16,257 --> 00:10:18,191
everybody needs
every single day.
39
00:10:18,259 --> 00:10:20,193
You artists,
you painters,
40
00:10:20,261 --> 00:10:22,627
produce nothing
that nobody needs never!
41
00:10:22,697 --> 00:10:25,564
You might as well know,
any way we find to get married
42
00:10:25,633 --> 00:10:27,863
is right and fair,
and we'll do it!
43
00:10:27,935 --> 00:10:31,200
You are an impractical,
7- foot-tall nincompoop!
44
00:10:31,272 --> 00:10:32,705
That's an insult!
45
00:10:32,773 --> 00:10:35,207
All facts about you
are insults!
46
00:10:35,276 --> 00:10:37,244
Thank you for the honor
of your visit!
47
00:10:37,311 --> 00:10:39,711
Ermengarde's of age.
There's no law-
48
00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:41,714
Law?! Let me
tell you something.
49
00:10:41,782 --> 00:10:43,716
The law's there
to prevent crime.
50
00:10:43,784 --> 00:10:45,718
We men of sense are there
to prevent foolishness.
51
00:10:45,786 --> 00:10:47,219
I, not the law,
will prevent you
52
00:10:47,288 --> 00:10:48,755
from marrying
my niece!
53
00:10:48,823 --> 00:10:50,723
I've already taken
the necessary steps.
54
00:10:50,791 --> 00:10:53,726
Mrs. Dolly Levi's
on her way here now.
55
00:10:53,794 --> 00:10:55,728
Dolly Levi-
your marriage broker?
56
00:10:55,796 --> 00:10:57,320
She's going to
take Ermengarde
57
00:10:57,398 --> 00:10:58,729
to New York-
58
00:10:58,799 --> 00:10:59,857
New York?
59
00:10:59,934 --> 00:11:01,731
Yes! And keep her there
until this foolishness
60
00:11:01,802 --> 00:11:03,167
is out of her head
and yours.
61
00:11:03,237 --> 00:11:04,670
We'll see
about that!
62
00:11:04,739 --> 00:11:07,173
Thank you again for the honor
of your visit and good morning!
63
00:11:07,241 --> 00:11:09,175
You'll have to sit still,
Mr. Vandergelder.
64
00:11:09,243 --> 00:11:11,768
If I cut your throat,
it'll be practically unintentional.
65
00:11:11,846 --> 00:11:14,212
Ah, 90% of people
are fools,
66
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,182
and the rest of us
67
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,218
are in great danger
of contamination.
68
00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:21,187
Enough! I'm a busy man
with things to do.
69
00:11:21,255 --> 00:11:24,053
A scraped chin
is the least of them!
70
00:11:24,125 --> 00:11:27,526
I did the best I could,
Mr. Vandergelder.
71
00:11:29,463 --> 00:11:30,555
Joe?
72
00:11:30,631 --> 00:11:31,859
Yes?
73
00:11:31,932 --> 00:11:35,231
I've got special reasons
for looking my best today.
74
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:37,294
Is there something
extra you can do-
75
00:11:37,371 --> 00:11:38,702
Something
a little special?
76
00:11:38,773 --> 00:11:39,831
What?
77
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,705
Those things you do
to the young fellows.
78
00:11:42,777 --> 00:11:44,711
Smarten me up
a little bit.
79
00:11:44,779 --> 00:11:47,247
You know, face massage,
little perfume water.
80
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,647
All I know is,
15 cents' worth,
81
00:11:49,717 --> 00:11:50,706
like usual.
82
00:11:50,785 --> 00:11:52,309
That includes
everything
83
00:11:52,386 --> 00:11:54,320
that's decent
to do to a man.
84
00:11:54,388 --> 00:11:56,151
I don't want you blabbing
this at the barber shop,
85
00:11:56,223 --> 00:11:57,656
but I need something
extra today
86
00:11:57,725 --> 00:11:59,215
because I'm going
to New York
87
00:11:59,293 --> 00:12:03,229
to call on a refined lady-
name of Miss Irene Molloy.
88
00:12:03,297 --> 00:12:06,698
Your calling on ladies
is none of my business.
89
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,166
Hold your horses,Joe!
90
00:12:08,235 --> 00:12:09,827
Uncle Horace!
Uncle Horace!
91
00:12:09,904 --> 00:12:10,996
What, Ermengarde?
92
00:12:11,072 --> 00:12:13,506
What have you done
to Ambrose?
93
00:12:13,574 --> 00:12:15,303
I had a quiet
little talk with him.
94
00:12:15,376 --> 00:12:16,400
You did?
95
00:12:16,477 --> 00:12:19,037
Yes. I explained to him
that he's a fool.
96
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,171
Oh, Uncle!
97
00:12:20,247 --> 00:12:22,477
Weeping, weeping-
a waste of water.
98
00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:25,144
I've done you a good turn.
'ou'll come thank me when you're 5(
99
00:12:25,219 --> 00:12:27,483
But, Uncle, I love him.
100
00:12:27,555 --> 00:12:28,954
Save your tears
for New York
101
00:12:29,023 --> 00:12:30,012
where they won't
be noticed.
102
00:12:30,091 --> 00:12:31,718
But I love him!
103
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:32,724
I tell you that you don't!
104
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,727
Leave those things
to me.
105
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,729
If I don't
marry Ambrose,
106
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:39,231
I'll die
of a broken heart!
107
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,029
Never heard of it.
108
00:12:41,102 --> 00:12:43,070
Are you ready
for Mrs. Levi?
109
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:44,195
Yes.
110
00:12:44,271 --> 00:12:47,240
Well, stay in your room
until she arrives.
111
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,879
Cornelius!
112
00:12:55,282 --> 00:12:56,681
Barnaby!
113
00:12:57,952 --> 00:12:59,180
Barnaby!
114
00:13:00,621 --> 00:13:02,054
Cornelius!
115
00:13:02,123 --> 00:13:03,454
Barnaby!
116
00:13:09,029 --> 00:13:10,963
You stamped,
Mr. Vandergelder?
117
00:13:11,031 --> 00:13:12,965
Yes, I stamped.
118
00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:15,297
Are my niece's bags
at the railroad station?
119
00:13:15,369 --> 00:13:17,269
Yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
120
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,329
And you, did you label
them properly?
121
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,374
Yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
122
00:13:20,441 --> 00:13:22,341
Good. Look, I'm going
to New York today.
123
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:24,776
I'll be marching
in the 14th Street parade.
124
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:25,869
Yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
125
00:13:25,946 --> 00:13:28,312
I'm staying overnight
at the Central Hotel.
126
00:13:28,382 --> 00:13:30,316
We've never
been here alone.
127
00:13:30,384 --> 00:13:31,783
In honor
of the occasion,
128
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,513
I'm going to promote
you both.
129
00:13:33,587 --> 00:13:35,487
Cornelius,
how old are you?
130
00:13:35,556 --> 00:13:37,023
283/4,
Mr. Vandergelder.
131
00:13:37,091 --> 00:13:38,490
Is that all?
132
00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:40,322
That's a foolish
age to be at.
133
00:13:40,394 --> 00:13:42,763
I thought
you were 40.
134
00:13:42,897 --> 00:13:44,990
No. I'm 283/4.
135
00:13:45,065 --> 00:13:48,967
Man's not worth a cent
until he's 40.
136
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,971
We pay him until then
to make mistakes.
137
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:53,631
Anyway, you're promoted
to chief clerk.
138
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:55,504
Chief clerk?
139
00:13:55,576 --> 00:13:57,305
What am I now?
140
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,777
You're
an impertinent fool!
141
00:13:58,846 --> 00:14:00,780
If you behave yourself,
I'll promote you
142
00:14:00,848 --> 00:14:02,475
from impertinent fool
to chief clerk
143
00:14:02,549 --> 00:14:03,914
with a raise
in your wages.
144
00:14:03,984 --> 00:14:06,418
Oh, thank you,
Mr. Vandergelder.
145
00:14:06,487 --> 00:14:07,818
You, Barnaby,
146
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:10,049
I'm promoting you
from idiot apprentice
147
00:14:10,124 --> 00:14:11,591
to incompetent clerk.
148
00:14:11,659 --> 00:14:12,921
Thank you,
Mr. Vandergelder.
149
00:14:12,993 --> 00:14:14,585
Mr. Vandergelder?
Mr. Vandergelder?
150
00:14:14,662 --> 00:14:15,720
What is it?
151
00:14:15,796 --> 00:14:19,732
Does a chief clerk get
one evening off a week?
152
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,462
So that's the way
you thank me, eh?
153
00:14:22,536 --> 00:14:25,266
No, sir! You'll attend
to the store as usual!
154
00:14:25,339 --> 00:14:27,102
An evening free.
155
00:14:27,174 --> 00:14:28,766
Keep asking
for evenings free,
156
00:14:28,842 --> 00:14:30,776
and you'll find yourself
with your days free.
157
00:14:30,844 --> 00:14:32,072
Remember that.
158
00:14:32,146 --> 00:14:33,374
Yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
159
00:14:33,447 --> 00:14:35,779
Listen I want you to run
the place perfectly
160
00:14:35,849 --> 00:14:36,975
in my absence.
161
00:14:37,051 --> 00:14:40,179
If I hear of foolishness,
I'll discharge you both.
162
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:42,654
You might as well know now,
when I return from New York,
163
00:14:42,723 --> 00:14:45,157
there'll be some changes
around here.
164
00:14:45,225 --> 00:14:46,157
Changes?
165
00:14:46,226 --> 00:14:47,750
Yes, you're going
to have a mistress.
166
00:14:47,828 --> 00:14:49,921
I'm too young,
Mr. Vandergelder.
167
00:14:51,699 --> 00:14:53,599
Not yours, idiot. Mine.
168
00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:55,658
I mean I'm planning
to get married.
169
00:14:55,736 --> 00:14:56,634
Married?
170
00:14:56,704 --> 00:14:57,966
Any objections?
171
00:14:58,038 --> 00:14:59,471
No, but-
172
00:14:59,540 --> 00:15:01,474
Many congratulations,
Mr. Vandergelder,
173
00:15:01,542 --> 00:15:03,407
and to the lady, too.
174
00:15:03,477 --> 00:15:04,944
That's none
of your business!
175
00:15:05,012 --> 00:15:06,206
Any further questions?
176
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,212
No, but-
177
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,213
But why what?
178
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,249
Speak up! What?
179
00:15:09,316 --> 00:15:10,214
Why?
180
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,410
Why what, damn it?!
181
00:15:11,485 --> 00:15:13,578
Why are you
getting married?
182
00:15:15,155 --> 00:15:17,419
Let me tell you
something, son.
183
00:15:17,491 --> 00:15:20,949
I've worked hard,
and I've become rich...
184
00:15:21,028 --> 00:15:23,428
and friendless and mean.
185
00:15:23,497 --> 00:15:28,298
In America, that's about
as far as you can go.
186
00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:36,943
It's time to be doing something
a little bit foolish.
187
00:15:37,011 --> 00:15:40,145
Besides, I need
a steady housekeeper.
188
00:18:37,858 --> 00:18:40,258
Well, well,
well, well, well.
189
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:43,819
Good morning,
Mr. Vandergelder,
190
00:18:43,897 --> 00:18:45,091
Mr. Hackl,
191
00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:46,632
Mr. Tucker.
192
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,258
Gentlemen.
193
00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:50,462
Good morning Mrs. Levi.
194
00:18:50,537 --> 00:18:53,062
Uh, good morning,
Mrs. Levi.
195
00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:55,074
How handsome
you look today.
196
00:18:55,142 --> 00:18:57,110
Ooh. You absolutely
take my breath away.
197
00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:59,202
Ermengarde's upstairs
crying her eyes out.
198
00:18:59,279 --> 00:19:01,144
You can take her now,
but blow her nose first.
199
00:19:01,215 --> 00:19:04,241
If only Irene Molloy
could see you now.
200
00:19:04,318 --> 00:19:06,252
Uh, find someplace else
to loaf!.
201
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,254
And you two get back
to the store!
202
00:19:08,322 --> 00:19:10,586
Don't forget to put the lid
on the sheep dip!
203
00:19:10,657 --> 00:19:13,785
I don't know what's
come over you lately,
204
00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:16,795
but you seem to grow
younger every day.
205
00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:18,262
If a man eats careful,
206
00:19:18,332 --> 00:19:20,266
there's no reason
why he should look old.
207
00:19:20,334 --> 00:19:22,768
You never said
a truer word.
208
00:19:22,836 --> 00:19:26,438
Even if I never see
40-35 again...
209
00:19:26,572 --> 00:19:28,267
35. Why I can see
at a glance
210
00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:30,274
you'll be stamping
about at 100,
211
00:19:30,342 --> 00:19:32,276
eating 5 meals a day
just like my uncle,
212
00:19:32,344 --> 00:19:33,868
may he rest in peace.
213
00:19:33,946 --> 00:19:35,743
Let me see your hand,
Mr. Vandergelder.
214
00:19:35,814 --> 00:19:36,746
Oh, show me your hand.
215
00:19:36,815 --> 00:19:37,782
Why?
216
00:19:37,849 --> 00:19:40,215
I'm a judge of hands.
I read hands.
217
00:19:40,285 --> 00:19:42,446
I use them
to get things done.
218
00:19:42,521 --> 00:19:44,489
Lord in heaven!
Goodness gracious!
219
00:19:44,556 --> 00:19:46,490
I just can't believe it!
220
00:19:46,558 --> 00:19:49,959
Such a long life line,
from here to here.
221
00:19:50,028 --> 00:19:52,462
It runs right off
your hand.
222
00:19:52,531 --> 00:19:54,226
They'll have to hit you
with a mallet.
223
00:19:54,299 --> 00:19:56,233
They'll have to stifle
you with a sofa pillow.
224
00:19:56,301 --> 00:19:57,791
You will bury us all.
225
00:19:57,869 --> 00:19:59,336
I will?
226
00:19:59,404 --> 00:20:00,336
Say...
227
00:20:00,405 --> 00:20:01,463
Yes?
228
00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:03,667
You're all spiffed up
today, aren't you?
229
00:20:03,742 --> 00:20:04,800
Yes.
230
00:20:04,876 --> 00:20:07,811
And not for the benefit
of this smelly horse.
231
00:20:07,879 --> 00:20:09,813
Well, if I had a guess,
232
00:20:09,881 --> 00:20:12,475
I'd say you was goin'
somewhere.
233
00:20:14,886 --> 00:20:17,821
Remarkable, Mrs. Levi.
How do you do it?
234
00:20:17,889 --> 00:20:20,084
2 and 2 is 4,
Mr. Vandergelder.
235
00:20:20,158 --> 00:20:23,457
With a head like yours,
you'll be rich someday.
236
00:20:23,528 --> 00:20:25,826
That's exactly
what I had in mind.
237
00:20:25,897 --> 00:20:27,728
Then I suggest
you pick up Ermengarde,
238
00:20:27,799 --> 00:20:30,529
for which I'm paying you
good money.
239
00:20:30,602 --> 00:20:33,332
Speaking of business,
Mr. Vandergelder,
240
00:20:33,405 --> 00:20:35,339
I suppose
you've given up
241
00:20:35,407 --> 00:20:37,204
all idea
of getting married.
242
00:20:37,275 --> 00:20:38,867
Is that
what you suppose?
243
00:20:38,944 --> 00:20:42,107
Then suppose you listen
to this, Mrs. Levi.
244
00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:44,341
I've decided-
I've practically decided
245
00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:47,214
to ask Irene Molloy
to be my wife.
246
00:20:47,285 --> 00:20:49,549
You have?
247
00:20:49,621 --> 00:20:50,679
Yeah, I have.
248
00:20:50,756 --> 00:20:52,724
I'm going to New York
and discuss it with her.
249
00:20:52,791 --> 00:20:54,122
This very afternoon.
250
00:20:56,428 --> 00:20:59,363
Well, that is just
about the best news
251
00:20:59,431 --> 00:21:01,365
I have ever heard,
Mr. Vandergelder.
252
00:21:01,433 --> 00:21:03,298
Oh, yes, indeed,
marvelous news.
253
00:21:03,368 --> 00:21:04,835
Isn't it wonderful,
though?
254
00:21:04,903 --> 00:21:06,234
I'm wracking
my brain here.
255
00:21:06,304 --> 00:21:08,329
I'm trying to think
of something I've heard
256
00:21:08,407 --> 00:21:10,068
that has made me
happier,
257
00:21:10,142 --> 00:21:11,905
but I just can't
come up with a thing.
258
00:21:11,977 --> 00:21:13,808
It's just so wonderful.
It really is.
259
00:21:13,879 --> 00:21:16,109
It's all your fault,
you know.
260
00:21:16,181 --> 00:21:19,309
You put me into this
marrying frame of mind
261
00:21:19,384 --> 00:21:20,749
with your introductions
and scheming.
262
00:21:20,819 --> 00:21:22,753
A poor widow must earn
a living.
263
00:21:22,821 --> 00:21:24,288
One morning I wake up
264
00:21:24,356 --> 00:21:26,847
and suddenly the house
seems like an empty shell...
265
00:21:26,925 --> 00:21:28,483
and pretty messy, too.
266
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,654
A man needs someone
to take out the garbage.
267
00:21:31,730 --> 00:21:33,755
And Irene Molloy's
the one to do it.
268
00:21:33,832 --> 00:21:34,764
Darling girl.
269
00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:36,494
I think it's
perfectly wonderful
270
00:21:36,568 --> 00:21:37,762
what's gonna happen
in your household,
271
00:21:37,836 --> 00:21:39,531
Mr. Vandergelder.
272
00:21:39,604 --> 00:21:42,266
I never did like
the idea of all that-
273
00:21:42,340 --> 00:21:44,308
All that money of yours
274
00:21:44,376 --> 00:21:46,276
lying in great piles
in the bank,
275
00:21:46,344 --> 00:21:48,312
so useless
and motionless.
276
00:21:48,380 --> 00:21:50,780
As my late husband
Ephraim used to say,
277
00:21:50,849 --> 00:21:53,215
"Money should circulate
like rainwater.
278
00:21:53,285 --> 00:21:56,277
"It should be flowing
down among the people
279
00:21:56,354 --> 00:21:58,788
"through dressmakers,
cabmen, and restaurants.
280
00:21:58,857 --> 00:22:00,324
"Setting up
a business here,
281
00:22:00,392 --> 00:22:01,791
furnishing a good time
over there. "
282
00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:04,226
Oh, you and the future
Mrs. Vandergelder
283
00:22:04,296 --> 00:22:07,231
will see that all
your hard-earned wealth
284
00:22:07,299 --> 00:22:10,234
flows in and around
many peoples' lives-
285
00:22:10,302 --> 00:22:12,236
Just flowing,
pouring out.
286
00:22:12,304 --> 00:22:14,272
All right.
Stop saying that!
287
00:22:14,339 --> 00:22:16,432
I wish you happiness
under the sun,
288
00:22:16,508 --> 00:22:18,567
and good-bye,
Mr. Vandergelder.
289
00:22:18,643 --> 00:22:19,735
Yes, well,
good-bye.
290
00:22:19,811 --> 00:22:21,574
And when I get back
to New York,
291
00:22:21,646 --> 00:22:23,546
I'll tell the heiress
not to wait.
292
00:22:23,615 --> 00:22:25,014
What did you say?
293
00:22:25,083 --> 00:22:28,484
Oh, nothing, nothing.
A word- heiress.
294
00:22:28,553 --> 00:22:30,043
Well,just a minute.
295
00:22:30,122 --> 00:22:33,182
That's kind of unusual,
isn't it, Mrs. Levi?
296
00:22:33,258 --> 00:22:36,056
I haven't been
hunting usual girls
297
00:22:36,128 --> 00:22:37,891
to interest you,
Mr. Vandergelder,
298
00:22:37,963 --> 00:22:39,590
but now all that
is too late.
299
00:22:39,664 --> 00:22:41,427
You're engaged
to Irene Molloy.
300
00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:42,626
I'm not engaged.
301
00:22:42,701 --> 00:22:45,067
I can't keep disturbing
these fine women
302
00:22:45,137 --> 00:22:46,604
unless
you mean business.
303
00:22:46,671 --> 00:22:48,195
Who said
I don't mean business?
304
00:22:48,273 --> 00:22:50,764
You're playing
a dangerous game.
305
00:22:50,842 --> 00:22:51,740
Dangerous?
306
00:22:51,810 --> 00:22:52,902
Of course
it's dangerous.
307
00:22:52,978 --> 00:22:55,446
It's tampering with
a woman's affections,
308
00:22:55,514 --> 00:22:56,913
and the only way
to save yourself
309
00:22:56,982 --> 00:22:58,313
from that charge,
Mr. Vandergelder,
310
00:22:58,383 --> 00:23:01,250
is to get married
to someone soon-
311
00:23:01,319 --> 00:23:02,308
Very soon.
312
00:23:02,387 --> 00:23:03,684
Don't worry.
313
00:23:03,755 --> 00:23:04,779
I won't.
314
00:23:04,856 --> 00:23:06,448
I'll meet you in front
of Molloy's hat shop
315
00:23:06,525 --> 00:23:07,856
at 2:30 as usual.
316
00:23:07,926 --> 00:23:10,394
Never mind. No need to.
You've done your work.
317
00:23:10,462 --> 00:23:12,362
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
318
00:23:12,430 --> 00:23:14,523
I'll be there to ensure
that nothing goes wrong.
319
00:23:14,599 --> 00:23:16,032
Just tend
to Ermengarde
320
00:23:16,101 --> 00:23:18,831
or return the fee
I gave you.
321
00:23:18,904 --> 00:23:21,702
Speaking of money,
I almost forgot-
322
00:23:21,773 --> 00:23:23,035
How much?
323
00:23:23,108 --> 00:23:24,905
I left all my money
in my other handbag
324
00:23:24,976 --> 00:23:27,035
which burned in a fire
at cleaners-50?
325
00:23:27,112 --> 00:23:28,044
50?
326
00:23:28,113 --> 00:23:30,047
Plenty.
Oh, bless you.
327
00:23:30,115 --> 00:23:32,083
And don't worry
your handsome head
328
00:23:32,150 --> 00:23:33,378
about a thing.
329
00:23:33,451 --> 00:23:35,385
Just keep
all your thoughts
330
00:23:35,453 --> 00:23:37,546
on that lovely
Irene Molloy.
331
00:25:31,937 --> 00:25:34,872
If he had any taste
at all,
332
00:25:34,940 --> 00:25:38,569
he'd have the shutters
done over in green.
333
00:25:38,643 --> 00:25:39,905
Mmm...
334
00:25:39,978 --> 00:25:42,037
forest green shutters.
335
00:25:42,981 --> 00:25:44,881
What are
you doing?
336
00:25:44,950 --> 00:25:47,680
Get away!
My uncle!
337
00:25:47,752 --> 00:25:49,276
He's not here.
338
00:25:49,354 --> 00:25:51,379
Now, quick.
We're running away.
339
00:25:51,456 --> 00:25:53,924
Hurry, before
the train gets here.
340
00:25:53,992 --> 00:25:55,050
Train?
341
00:25:55,126 --> 00:25:57,253
New York. To be married.
We're going to elope.
342
00:25:57,329 --> 00:25:59,729
Elope? How can you
use that awful word?
343
00:25:59,798 --> 00:26:02,198
Oh, Ermengarde.
344
00:26:02,267 --> 00:26:05,031
My, what a romantic scene.
345
00:26:05,103 --> 00:26:08,095
I want to marry Ambrose
but not elope!
346
00:26:08,173 --> 00:26:09,988
This doesn't concern
Mrs. Levi.
347
00:26:10,122 --> 00:26:12,022
Everything concerns
Dolly Levi.
348
00:26:12,090 --> 00:26:13,182
Don't listen.
349
00:26:13,258 --> 00:26:14,748
I know why
you're here.
350
00:26:14,826 --> 00:26:16,259
To help you,
351
00:26:16,328 --> 00:26:17,693
and love needs
all the help it can get.
352
00:26:17,762 --> 00:26:19,286
Listen, both of you.
353
00:26:19,364 --> 00:26:20,661
There's no time.
354
00:26:20,732 --> 00:26:23,997
I'm feeling an updraft
in my underpants.
355
00:26:24,069 --> 00:26:26,333
This is no way
to elope.
356
00:26:26,404 --> 00:26:27,871
If you follow
my suggestions,
357
00:26:27,939 --> 00:26:29,338
Horace Vandergelder will
not only give permission
358
00:26:29,407 --> 00:26:31,637
but he'll dance
at your wedding,
359
00:26:31,710 --> 00:26:33,678
and not alone either.
360
00:26:33,745 --> 00:26:35,713
Mr. Kemper,
can you dance?
361
00:26:35,780 --> 00:26:36,678
Dance?
362
00:26:36,748 --> 00:26:37,715
Yes, dance.
363
00:26:37,782 --> 00:26:39,511
I'm an artist.
I paint.
364
00:26:39,584 --> 00:26:40,881
No problem.
365
00:26:40,952 --> 00:26:42,852
"Painters taught
how to dance. "
366
00:26:42,921 --> 00:26:45,389
I'll take you
to New York.
367
00:26:45,457 --> 00:26:46,856
See? I told you!
368
00:26:46,925 --> 00:26:48,859
You will stay
close by.
369
00:26:48,927 --> 00:26:50,861
You'll take her
to dinner
370
00:26:50,929 --> 00:26:53,056
at the Harmonia
Gardens restaurant.
371
00:26:53,131 --> 00:26:55,224
You'll enter
the polka contest.
372
00:26:55,300 --> 00:26:56,858
Polka contest?
373
00:26:56,935 --> 00:26:58,698
The prize
is a gold cup
374
00:26:58,770 --> 00:26:59,862
and money.
375
00:26:59,938 --> 00:27:02,566
The cups we won,
my husband and I.
376
00:27:02,641 --> 00:27:04,006
Now wait a minute.
377
00:27:04,075 --> 00:27:06,305
I'm surprised you have
acquaintances like that.
378
00:27:06,378 --> 00:27:09,506
Not acquaintances,
Ermengarde, friends-
379
00:27:09,581 --> 00:27:12,812
Dear friends
from days gone by.
380
00:27:12,884 --> 00:27:15,318
My late husband Ephraim
believed in life-
381
00:27:15,387 --> 00:27:17,355
anyplace
you could find it-
382
00:27:17,422 --> 00:27:18,855
wherever
there were people,
383
00:27:18,924 --> 00:27:20,323
all kinds of people.
384
00:27:20,392 --> 00:27:21,825
And every Friday night,
385
00:27:21,893 --> 00:27:24,327
even when times
were bad-
386
00:27:24,396 --> 00:27:27,331
Every Friday night,
like clockwork,
387
00:27:27,399 --> 00:27:30,334
down those stairs
of the Harmonia Gardens
388
00:27:30,402 --> 00:27:32,836
we came,
Ephraim and I.
389
00:27:34,773 --> 00:27:37,833
Not acquaintances,
Ermengarde-friends.
390
00:27:37,909 --> 00:27:39,638
It's all very well
for you, Mrs. Levi,
391
00:27:39,711 --> 00:27:41,178
but you're suggesting-
392
00:27:41,246 --> 00:27:43,214
Do you want
to show Horace
393
00:27:43,281 --> 00:27:45,010
that you
mean business?
394
00:27:45,083 --> 00:27:47,074
- Yes!
- Yes!
395
00:27:47,152 --> 00:27:48,585
Well, you must go
396
00:27:48,653 --> 00:27:50,177
to the Harmonia
Gardens restaurant.
397
00:27:50,255 --> 00:27:52,348
Say that Mrs. Levi
sent you...
398
00:27:52,424 --> 00:27:53,857
and, yes, well...
399
00:27:53,925 --> 00:27:56,393
tell Rudolph that
Dolly's coming back.
400
00:27:56,461 --> 00:27:58,224
Dolly's coming back.
401
00:27:58,296 --> 00:27:59,854
Yes. I want a table
for two
402
00:27:59,931 --> 00:28:01,398
and stuffed chicken
for 8:00.
403
00:28:01,466 --> 00:28:02,398
Mr. Vandergelder
404
00:28:02,467 --> 00:28:04,332
will learn
of your triumph.
405
00:28:04,402 --> 00:28:06,097
Everything will work
out beautifully.
406
00:28:06,171 --> 00:28:08,332
But how, Mrs. Levi?
407
00:28:08,406 --> 00:28:10,397
How? Ha ha ha!
408
00:28:10,475 --> 00:28:13,137
Ha-Ohh.
409
00:28:13,211 --> 00:28:14,769
283/4 years old
410
00:28:14,846 --> 00:28:17,440
and I still don't
get an evening free!
411
00:28:17,515 --> 00:28:20,678
When am I gonna
begin to live?
412
00:28:22,387 --> 00:28:26,084
Barnaby, how much
money have you got?
413
00:28:26,157 --> 00:28:27,317
Huh?
414
00:28:27,392 --> 00:28:29,826
That you can get
your hands on?
415
00:28:29,894 --> 00:28:31,657
About $3.00. Why?
416
00:28:31,730 --> 00:28:33,664
Barnaby,
you and I
417
00:28:33,732 --> 00:28:35,666
are going
to New York!
418
00:28:35,734 --> 00:28:37,668
We can't close
the store!
419
00:28:37,736 --> 00:28:38,828
We'll have to,
420
00:28:38,903 --> 00:28:40,837
'cause some rotten cans
of chicken mash
421
00:28:40,905 --> 00:28:42,372
are going to explode.
422
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:43,964
Holy cabooses!
How do you know?
423
00:28:44,042 --> 00:28:46,169
'Cause I'm gonna
light candles under them.
424
00:28:46,244 --> 00:28:48,144
They'll make
such a stink
425
00:28:48,213 --> 00:28:51,148
customers won't come in
for 24 hours!
426
00:28:51,216 --> 00:28:54,652
We're going to New York,
and we're gonna live!
427
00:28:54,719 --> 00:28:57,688
We'll have a good meal,
we're gonna be in danger,
428
00:28:57,756 --> 00:29:00,350
get almost arrested,
and spend all our money!
429
00:29:00,425 --> 00:29:02,484
Holy cabooses!
430
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,461
And we are not coming
back to Yonkers
431
00:29:05,530 --> 00:29:07,623
until we've each
kissed a girl.
432
00:29:07,699 --> 00:29:10,634
Cornelius,
you can't do that.
433
00:29:10,702 --> 00:29:13,102
You don't know
any girls.
434
00:29:13,171 --> 00:29:15,605
I'm 283/4.
435
00:29:15,674 --> 00:29:18,142
I've got to begin
sometime.
436
00:29:18,209 --> 00:29:19,938
I'm only 191/2.
437
00:29:20,011 --> 00:29:22,343
With me,
it's not so urgent.
438
00:29:22,414 --> 00:29:25,144
May I make
a suggestion?
439
00:29:25,216 --> 00:29:26,444
Mrs. Levi!
440
00:29:26,518 --> 00:29:28,213
I just couldn't
help hearing.
441
00:29:28,286 --> 00:29:29,310
We'll be fired.
442
00:29:29,387 --> 00:29:31,150
We were only talking!
443
00:29:31,222 --> 00:29:33,622
Mr. Hackl, Mr. Tucker,
444
00:29:33,692 --> 00:29:35,819
there's nothing
that makes me happier
445
00:29:35,894 --> 00:29:37,862
than the thought
of 2 fine young men
446
00:29:37,929 --> 00:29:39,328
such as yourselves
447
00:29:39,397 --> 00:29:41,627
enjoying the company
of 2 lovely ladies.
448
00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:43,531
What ladies? Where?
449
00:29:43,601 --> 00:29:45,068
In New York,
to which,
450
00:29:45,136 --> 00:29:47,161
unless my ears
play tricks,
451
00:29:47,238 --> 00:29:49,138
you are bound.
452
00:29:49,207 --> 00:29:50,640
Now, there's
this millinery shop
453
00:29:50,709 --> 00:29:52,472
run by
a charming woman.
454
00:29:52,544 --> 00:29:54,171
"Irene Molloy. "
455
00:29:54,245 --> 00:29:56,679
And her assistant,
Miss Minnie Fay.
456
00:29:56,748 --> 00:29:57,908
Holy cabooses!
457
00:29:57,982 --> 00:30:00,507
And now that you've
noted the address,
458
00:30:00,585 --> 00:30:01,677
I have only this
to say-
459
00:30:01,753 --> 00:30:03,653
2:00
in the afternoon
460
00:30:03,722 --> 00:30:06,156
is the ideal time
for conversation-
461
00:30:06,224 --> 00:30:08,192
definitely
no later than 2:30.
462
00:30:08,259 --> 00:30:11,160
If you ever say this
was my suggestion,
463
00:30:11,229 --> 00:30:12,696
well, I shall
denounce you both
464
00:30:12,764 --> 00:30:14,857
for the terrible
liars you are.
465
00:30:16,401 --> 00:30:19,165
Ohhh!
466
00:30:19,237 --> 00:30:21,171
A millinery shop.
467
00:30:21,239 --> 00:30:23,173
Women who work.
468
00:30:23,241 --> 00:30:24,173
Adventure, Barnaby!
469
00:30:24,242 --> 00:30:25,402
I'm scared.
470
00:30:25,477 --> 00:30:26,375
Living, Barnaby!
471
00:30:26,444 --> 00:30:27,411
I'm scared.
472
00:30:27,479 --> 00:30:29,208
Will you come,
Barnaby?
473
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,180
Yes, Cornelius! Yes!
474
00:30:31,249 --> 00:30:33,683
The lights of Broadway,
elevated trains,
475
00:30:33,752 --> 00:30:36,186
the stuffed whale
at Barnum's Museum!
476
00:30:36,254 --> 00:30:38,848
Stuffed whale. Wow!
477
00:30:38,923 --> 00:30:40,686
Women who work!
478
00:30:40,759 --> 00:30:42,226
Wow!
479
00:30:42,293 --> 00:30:44,227
All clear up here,
Cornelius!
480
00:30:44,295 --> 00:30:46,058
You gonna light 'em all?
481
00:30:46,131 --> 00:30:47,393
Hey, Cornelius, look out!
482
00:30:47,465 --> 00:30:50,195
That bottom row's swelled up
like they're ready to bust!
483
00:30:52,270 --> 00:30:54,204
Holy cabooses!
What a smell!
484
00:30:54,272 --> 00:30:57,708
Get dressed, Barnaby!
We're going to New York!
485
00:35:00,550 --> 00:35:02,074
Ermengarde, keep smiling.
486
00:35:02,152 --> 00:35:04,313
No man wants
a little ninny.
487
00:35:04,388 --> 00:35:06,413
Ambrose, do a turn,
let me see.
488
00:35:06,490 --> 00:35:10,221
Mr. Hackl, Mr. Tucker,
don't forget Irene and Minnie,
489
00:35:10,293 --> 00:35:13,353
just forget you ever
heard a word from me.
490
00:36:32,776 --> 00:36:35,835
Do get done
with that, Minnie.
491
00:36:35,912 --> 00:36:38,881
The men are eyeing us
for the wrong reason.
492
00:36:38,949 --> 00:36:40,883
A banana a day keeps
the doctor away.
493
00:36:40,951 --> 00:36:42,077
You mean an apple a day.
494
00:36:42,152 --> 00:36:44,586
Who ever heard of a doctor
slipping on apple peel?
495
00:36:44,654 --> 00:36:46,053
How are you,
Miss Molloy?
496
00:36:46,123 --> 00:36:48,318
If I felt any better,
I'd be positively indecent.
497
00:36:48,391 --> 00:36:50,018
Oh, you are in
a mood today.
498
00:36:50,093 --> 00:36:51,355
Oh, I certainly am.
499
00:36:52,929 --> 00:36:55,557
Not that it's any
of my business,
500
00:36:55,632 --> 00:36:57,361
but is it because-
501
00:36:57,434 --> 00:36:58,901
Minnie,
I don't mind
502
00:36:58,969 --> 00:37:00,402
that you never
finish your lunch,
503
00:37:00,470 --> 00:37:02,904
but do mind that you never
finish your sentences.
504
00:37:02,973 --> 00:37:04,804
Are you really
going to-I mean-
505
00:37:04,875 --> 00:37:06,308
Silly girl, say it.
506
00:37:06,376 --> 00:37:08,310
Am I marrying
Horace Vandergelder?
507
00:37:08,378 --> 00:37:11,313
Yes, I'm considering it
if he asks me.
508
00:37:11,381 --> 00:37:13,315
Oh, I'd rather die
on the rack
509
00:37:13,383 --> 00:37:15,317
than ask such
a personal question,
510
00:37:15,385 --> 00:37:17,319
but as long as
we're on the subject,
511
00:37:17,387 --> 00:37:18,854
why would you? I mean-
512
00:37:18,922 --> 00:37:19,820
Because he's rich.
513
00:37:19,890 --> 00:37:21,357
He can rescue me
from the millinery.
514
00:37:21,424 --> 00:37:22,356
I hate hats.
515
00:37:22,425 --> 00:37:23,551
Hate hats?
516
00:37:23,627 --> 00:37:25,561
Good afternoon to you,
Officer Gogarty.
517
00:37:25,629 --> 00:37:28,189
And the rest
of the day to you,
518
00:37:28,265 --> 00:37:29,323
Miss Molloy.
519
00:37:29,399 --> 00:37:31,697
Ah, Minnie, why is it
all the attractive men
520
00:37:31,768 --> 00:37:33,030
in New York are married?
521
00:37:33,103 --> 00:37:36,038
Blarney, Miss Molloy!
Blarney!
522
00:37:36,106 --> 00:37:38,074
Come on, get going!
All of you!
523
00:37:40,610 --> 00:37:43,078
Oh, the way
you talk!
524
00:37:43,146 --> 00:37:46,047
It's natural
to talk about men.
525
00:37:46,116 --> 00:37:47,879
I mean, what you said
about hating hats.
526
00:37:47,951 --> 00:37:48,849
Not just hats.
527
00:37:48,919 --> 00:37:50,546
Particularly the women
who buy them.
528
00:37:50,620 --> 00:37:52,588
You don't mean that,
Irene Molloy.
529
00:37:52,656 --> 00:37:54,351
Yes, I do, Minnie.
All lady milliners
530
00:37:54,424 --> 00:37:56,358
are suspected
of being wicked women.
531
00:37:56,426 --> 00:37:57,393
Wicked women?
532
00:37:57,460 --> 00:37:59,553
Those dowagers
come in the shop
533
00:37:59,629 --> 00:38:00,561
merely to stare
at me.
534
00:38:00,630 --> 00:38:01,858
Ooh. How dare they?
535
00:38:01,932 --> 00:38:03,399
If they were certain
I was a wicked woman,
536
00:38:03,466 --> 00:38:04,933
they wouldn't set foot
in the shop.
537
00:38:05,001 --> 00:38:06,764
Good riddance.
Who needs them?
538
00:38:06,837 --> 00:38:09,533
We do,
unfortunately.
539
00:38:09,606 --> 00:38:11,335
So do I go out
to restaurants?
540
00:38:11,408 --> 00:38:13,000
No. It would be bad
for business.
541
00:38:13,076 --> 00:38:15,067
Do I go to balls
or theaters
542
00:38:15,145 --> 00:38:16,043
or operas?
543
00:38:16,112 --> 00:38:18,979
No. It would be
bad for business.
544
00:38:19,049 --> 00:38:20,880
The only men
I ever get to meet
545
00:38:20,951 --> 00:38:23,146
are the merchants who come
to sell me things.
546
00:38:23,220 --> 00:38:27,156
I'm sick and tired of being
suspected of being wicked
547
00:38:27,224 --> 00:38:28,851
with nothing
to show for it.
548
00:38:28,925 --> 00:38:30,358
Oh-ho! Miss Molloy!
549
00:38:30,427 --> 00:38:31,860
Why does everybody
have adventures but me?
550
00:38:31,928 --> 00:38:33,156
Adventures?
551
00:38:33,230 --> 00:38:34,857
I have no spirit,
that's why.
552
00:38:34,931 --> 00:38:36,125
No gumption.
553
00:38:36,199 --> 00:38:38,167
Either I marry
Horace Vandergelder,
554
00:38:38,235 --> 00:38:39,862
or I'm gonna burn
this shop down
555
00:38:39,936 --> 00:38:41,870
and break out
like a fire engine
556
00:38:41,938 --> 00:38:44,168
and find myself
some excitement.
557
00:38:44,241 --> 00:38:46,175
The things you're
saying today!
558
00:38:46,243 --> 00:38:48,211
I think they're
just awful.
559
00:38:48,278 --> 00:38:49,677
Oh, aren't they, though?
560
00:38:49,746 --> 00:38:52,214
And I'm enjoying
every word of it.
561
00:38:52,282 --> 00:38:53,681
What's this?
562
00:38:53,750 --> 00:38:55,718
Another return
from Miss Mortimer.
563
00:38:55,785 --> 00:38:57,719
She wants cherries
and feathers-
564
00:38:57,787 --> 00:38:59,550
To catch a beau,
I suppose.
565
00:38:59,623 --> 00:39:00,885
If you asked me,
566
00:39:00,957 --> 00:39:02,982
she'd do better
with a heavy veil.
567
00:39:04,227 --> 00:39:06,127
Well, I told her ribbons
down the back
568
00:39:06,196 --> 00:39:07,993
is the thing to catch
a gentleman's eye.
569
00:39:08,064 --> 00:39:10,157
But she'd have
none of it.
570
00:39:10,233 --> 00:39:12,827
Minnie, make another hat
for Miss Mortimer.
571
00:39:12,903 --> 00:39:15,167
I'm wearing
this one myself.
572
00:39:15,238 --> 00:39:17,172
Oh, but you can't.
573
00:39:17,240 --> 00:39:18,639
Why not?
574
00:39:18,708 --> 00:39:20,141
Because it's-
it's provocative,
575
00:39:20,210 --> 00:39:21,507
that's why not.
576
00:39:21,578 --> 00:39:24,138
Well, who knows
that provocative
577
00:39:24,214 --> 00:39:28,082
isn't just what
I want to be today?
578
00:41:44,940 --> 00:41:46,635
Miss Molloy,
579
00:41:46,708 --> 00:41:49,040
you don't love
Horace Vandergelder.
580
00:41:49,111 --> 00:41:51,705
Of course
I don't love him.
581
00:41:51,780 --> 00:41:53,748
Then how can you-
I mean-
582
00:41:53,815 --> 00:41:56,716
Look. There are 2 men
staring at the shop.
583
00:41:56,785 --> 00:41:57,683
Minnie: Men?
584
00:41:57,753 --> 00:41:58,720
Uh-huh.
585
00:41:58,787 --> 00:42:00,186
Aren't they delicious?
586
00:42:00,255 --> 00:42:01,882
Minnie:
You don't think-
587
00:42:01,957 --> 00:42:04,152
Yes, I do believe
they mean to come in here.
588
00:42:04,226 --> 00:42:05,853
Men in the shop!
What will we do?
589
00:42:05,927 --> 00:42:07,622
Do? Why flirt with them,
of course.
590
00:42:07,696 --> 00:42:09,323
I'll give you
the short one.
591
00:42:09,398 --> 00:42:10,831
Ooh, Miss Molloy,
you're terrible!
592
00:42:10,899 --> 00:42:12,833
We'll heat them up,
then drop them cold.
593
00:42:12,901 --> 00:42:14,630
It'll be good practice
for married life.
594
00:42:14,703 --> 00:42:17,001
You say vamp,
I'll scream.
595
00:42:17,072 --> 00:42:18,004
Vamp.
596
00:42:18,073 --> 00:42:19,335
Aaah!
597
00:42:21,243 --> 00:42:24,303
I must say I like
the tall one.
598
00:42:25,380 --> 00:42:26,312
Adventure, Barnaby.
599
00:42:26,381 --> 00:42:27,814
We can still
catch the train
600
00:42:27,883 --> 00:42:29,578
back to Yonkers.
601
00:42:29,651 --> 00:42:31,118
Oh, I feel dizzy.
602
00:42:31,186 --> 00:42:33,211
Or go see
the stuffed whale
603
00:42:33,288 --> 00:42:34,619
at the museum.
604
00:42:34,689 --> 00:42:36,156
Women, Barnaby.
605
00:42:36,224 --> 00:42:39,159
Stuffed...
606
00:42:39,227 --> 00:42:40,956
women.
607
00:42:46,535 --> 00:42:49,629
There's no one here.
We can leave.
608
00:42:49,704 --> 00:42:52,400
I'd never forgive
myself.
609
00:42:52,474 --> 00:42:54,203
Hah!
610
00:42:55,944 --> 00:42:57,571
Are you sure
this is an adventure?
611
00:42:57,646 --> 00:42:59,045
You don't have
to ask, Barnaby.
612
00:42:59,114 --> 00:43:01,139
When you're in one,
you'll know it.
613
00:43:01,216 --> 00:43:04,083
How much money
have we got left?
614
00:43:04,152 --> 00:43:06,586
Enough for the train,
dinner, and the whale.
615
00:43:06,655 --> 00:43:08,088
When they come out,
616
00:43:08,156 --> 00:43:09,589
we'll pretend
we're rich.
617
00:43:09,658 --> 00:43:11,853
We won't have to
spend anything.
618
00:43:11,927 --> 00:43:14,327
Why don't we say
Mrs. Levi sent us?
619
00:43:14,396 --> 00:43:16,864
No! We're not supposed
to ever say that!
620
00:43:16,932 --> 00:43:18,126
Shh!
621
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,636
We're 2 men-about-town
looking for hats for ladies.
622
00:43:21,703 --> 00:43:23,102
What ladies?
623
00:43:23,171 --> 00:43:24,604
Good afternoon,
ma'am.
624
00:43:24,673 --> 00:43:26,607
Wonderful weather
we're having.
625
00:43:26,675 --> 00:43:28,609
How d'you do,
ma'am?
626
00:43:28,677 --> 00:43:30,611
And how
are your hats?
627
00:43:30,679 --> 00:43:32,647
Charmed to make
your acquaintance.
628
00:43:32,714 --> 00:43:34,341
Lovely place
you have here.
629
00:43:34,416 --> 00:43:36,043
Good afternoon,
gentlemen.
630
00:43:39,354 --> 00:43:40,821
Cornelius Hackl
here.
631
00:43:40,889 --> 00:43:43,380
Barnaby Tucker here.
632
00:43:43,458 --> 00:43:45,892
Irene Molloy here.
633
00:43:45,961 --> 00:43:49,260
I'm very happy
to meet you.
634
00:43:50,365 --> 00:43:52,162
Is there anything
I can do for you?
635
00:43:55,604 --> 00:43:56,764
Ooh!
636
00:43:56,838 --> 00:43:58,237
Well, you see,
637
00:43:58,306 --> 00:43:59,739
we're 2
ladies-about-town
638
00:43:59,808 --> 00:44:01,742
lookin' for hats
to Molloy-
639
00:44:01,810 --> 00:44:03,744
We're hats,
and we wondered
640
00:44:03,812 --> 00:44:06,713
if we could buy a lady
or 2 to Molloy with-
641
00:44:06,781 --> 00:44:08,681
We want a hat.
642
00:44:08,750 --> 00:44:10,684
Well, for a lady,
of course.
643
00:44:10,752 --> 00:44:13,516
Everyone said to go
to Miss Molloy's
644
00:44:13,588 --> 00:44:16,284
'cause she's
so pretty-
645
00:44:16,358 --> 00:44:19,691
I mean, her hats
are so pretty.
646
00:44:19,761 --> 00:44:21,285
And what sort of hat
647
00:44:21,363 --> 00:44:24,389
would Mrs. Hackl
be liking?
648
00:44:24,466 --> 00:44:26,696
Oh, no,
Miss Molloy,
649
00:44:26,768 --> 00:44:28,702
there is
no Mrs. Hackl.
650
00:44:28,770 --> 00:44:30,670
Yes, there is.
Your mother.
651
00:44:30,739 --> 00:44:33,173
She didn't mean that,
652
00:44:33,241 --> 00:44:34,765
did you, Miss Molloy?
653
00:44:34,843 --> 00:44:38,176
Now, this lady friend
of yours,
654
00:44:38,246 --> 00:44:39,713
couldn't she come in
with you some day
655
00:44:39,781 --> 00:44:41,146
and choose the hat
herself?
656
00:44:41,216 --> 00:44:42,183
Impossible.
657
00:44:42,250 --> 00:44:44,684
There is no
lady friend.
658
00:44:44,753 --> 00:44:46,380
I thought you said
659
00:44:46,454 --> 00:44:48,718
you were here
to choose-
660
00:44:48,790 --> 00:44:50,280
I mean
she's Barnaby's.
661
00:44:50,358 --> 00:44:52,690
Huh? What?
662
00:44:52,761 --> 00:44:55,195
Yes, but she lives
in Yonkers.
663
00:44:55,263 --> 00:44:57,697
She said to pick out
something
664
00:44:57,766 --> 00:44:59,199
under a dollar.
665
00:44:59,267 --> 00:45:00,734
Don't be silly,
Barnaby.
666
00:45:00,802 --> 00:45:02,201
Money's no object with us.
None at all.
667
00:45:03,772 --> 00:45:05,967
Oh, my assistant-
Miss Minnie Fay.
668
00:45:06,041 --> 00:45:08,475
Mr. Hackl,
Mr. Tucker.
669
00:45:08,543 --> 00:45:10,101
Good afternoon, ma'am.
670
00:45:10,178 --> 00:45:11,645
Afternoon, ma'am.
671
00:45:15,650 --> 00:45:18,346
Excuse me, Mr. Tucker,
672
00:45:18,420 --> 00:45:20,752
did you say Yonkers?
673
00:45:20,822 --> 00:45:22,551
Yes, ma'am.
We're from Yonkers.
674
00:45:22,624 --> 00:45:26,082
Well, are you?
675
00:45:26,161 --> 00:45:27,287
Yes.
676
00:45:27,362 --> 00:45:29,262
And forgive me
for saying this,
677
00:45:29,331 --> 00:45:32,266
but you should see
Yonkers, Miss Molloy.
678
00:45:32,334 --> 00:45:34,768
I mean, perhaps you and
your gentleman friend
679
00:45:34,836 --> 00:45:38,272
here in New York
might like to see it.
680
00:45:38,340 --> 00:45:40,365
It's the most beautiful
town in the world-
681
00:45:40,442 --> 00:45:41,807
That's what they say.
682
00:45:41,876 --> 00:45:44,367
So I've heard,
683
00:45:44,446 --> 00:45:46,914
but I'm afraid I don't have
a gentleman friend here.
684
00:45:46,982 --> 00:45:48,040
You don't?
685
00:45:48,116 --> 00:45:50,277
Barnaby, she doesn't
have a gentleman friend.
686
00:45:50,352 --> 00:45:51,319
Ha ha ha!
687
00:45:51,386 --> 00:45:53,286
Hey, that's too bad.
688
00:45:53,355 --> 00:45:56,290
If you should happen
to have a Sunday free-
689
00:45:56,358 --> 00:45:58,326
You're Catholic,
aren't you?
690
00:45:58,393 --> 00:46:00,293
Don't worry.
I'm willing to change.
691
00:46:00,362 --> 00:46:03,297
If you're free
in the near future,
692
00:46:03,365 --> 00:46:05,333
I'd, well... we'd...
693
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,733
like to show you Yonkers
from top to bottom.
694
00:46:08,803 --> 00:46:10,293
It's very historic.
695
00:46:10,372 --> 00:46:11,532
As a matter of fact,
696
00:46:11,606 --> 00:46:13,267
I might be there
sooner than you think.
697
00:46:13,341 --> 00:46:14,740
This Sunday?
698
00:46:14,809 --> 00:46:16,800
You see, I have a friend
who lives in Yonkers.
699
00:46:16,878 --> 00:46:18,903
Perhaps you know him.
700
00:46:18,980 --> 00:46:20,777
I do?
701
00:46:20,849 --> 00:46:23,579
Oh, it's always so foolish
to ask in cases like that,
702
00:46:23,652 --> 00:46:24,778
isn't it?
703
00:46:24,853 --> 00:46:26,377
Why should you know him?
704
00:46:26,454 --> 00:46:27,751
It's a Mr. Vandergelder?
705
00:46:27,822 --> 00:46:29,289
Mr. Vandergelder, oh!
706
00:46:29,357 --> 00:46:30,756
Horace Vandergelder?
707
00:46:30,825 --> 00:46:32,725
Of Vandergelder's
Hay and Feed?
708
00:46:32,794 --> 00:46:34,557
Yes, do you know him?
709
00:46:34,629 --> 00:46:36,358
- Oh, no!
- Oh, no!
710
00:46:36,431 --> 00:46:37,363
- No!
- No!
711
00:46:37,432 --> 00:46:38,399
- No, no!
- No, no!
712
00:46:38,466 --> 00:46:39,626
Mr. Vandergelder's
713
00:46:39,701 --> 00:46:42,135
coming to see me
this afternoon.
714
00:46:42,203 --> 00:46:43,261
Coming here?
715
00:46:43,338 --> 00:46:44,396
This afternoon?
716
00:46:44,472 --> 00:46:46,497
Cornelius!
Cornelius, look!
717
00:46:47,842 --> 00:46:49,833
It's wolf-trap!
718
00:46:49,911 --> 00:46:51,003
Look out!
719
00:46:52,881 --> 00:46:54,781
Beggin' your pardon,
Miss Molloy.
720
00:46:54,849 --> 00:46:56,373
Gentlemen,
what are you doing?
721
00:46:56,451 --> 00:46:58,146
We'll explain later.
Just help us!
722
00:46:58,219 --> 00:46:59,516
Come out of there
this minute!
723
00:46:59,587 --> 00:47:01,714
We're innocent as can be,
Miss Molloy.
724
00:47:01,790 --> 00:47:04,725
I insist that
you both come out,
725
00:47:04,793 --> 00:47:06,727
or I'll be forced-
726
00:47:06,795 --> 00:47:09,229
Mr. Vandergelder,
how nice to see you.
727
00:47:09,297 --> 00:47:10,847
And Dolly Levi.
What a surprise.
728
00:47:10,981 --> 00:47:12,846
Irene, my darling,
how well you look.
729
00:47:12,916 --> 00:47:14,850
You must be in love.
730
00:47:14,918 --> 00:47:16,579
Afternoon,
Miss Molloy.
731
00:47:16,653 --> 00:47:19,383
What a pleasure to have you
in New York.
732
00:47:19,456 --> 00:47:22,584
Yes. Yonkers lies up there
decimated today.
733
00:47:22,659 --> 00:47:25,822
We thought we'd pay you
a visit, Irene,
734
00:47:25,895 --> 00:47:27,726
unless it's inconvenient.
735
00:47:27,797 --> 00:47:29,594
Inconvenient?
736
00:47:29,666 --> 00:47:32,191
Whatever gave you
that idea?
737
00:47:32,268 --> 00:47:33,599
Mr. Vandergelder thought
738
00:47:33,670 --> 00:47:35,604
he saw 2 customers
in the shop-
739
00:47:35,672 --> 00:47:36,934
2, uh, men.
740
00:47:37,007 --> 00:47:38,167
Men!
741
00:47:38,241 --> 00:47:39,674
Oh ho ho.
742
00:47:39,743 --> 00:47:41,677
In a ladies'
hat shop?
743
00:47:41,745 --> 00:47:43,178
Ha ha ha!
744
00:47:43,246 --> 00:47:44,873
Come on, let's go
into my workroom.
745
00:47:44,948 --> 00:47:46,313
I'm so eager for you
to see it.
746
00:47:46,383 --> 00:47:48,783
I've already
seen it twice.
747
00:47:48,852 --> 00:47:50,376
But I need
your advice.
748
00:47:50,453 --> 00:47:52,011
Advice
from Mr. Vandergelder.
749
00:47:52,088 --> 00:47:54,215
The whole city should
hear this and grow rich.
750
00:47:54,290 --> 00:47:56,349
Advice is cheap,
Miss Molloy.
751
00:47:56,426 --> 00:47:57,859
It's the things that come
gift-wrapped that count.
752
00:47:57,927 --> 00:48:00,191
I have never heard it
put more beautifully.
753
00:48:00,263 --> 00:48:02,197
Thank you,
Mr. Vandergelder.
754
00:48:02,265 --> 00:48:04,130
Chocolate-covered
peanuts, unshelled.
755
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,168
They're
the expensive kind.
756
00:48:06,236 --> 00:48:09,171
Why don't we open them
in the workroom?
757
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:10,297
Miss Molloy,
758
00:48:10,373 --> 00:48:13,501
I have important business
to discuss with you
759
00:48:13,576 --> 00:48:17,637
as soon as Mrs. Levi
says good-bye.
760
00:48:17,714 --> 00:48:19,341
Pay no attention to me.
761
00:48:19,416 --> 00:48:21,316
I'm just browsing.
762
00:48:21,384 --> 00:48:22,646
Business,
Mr. Vandergelder?
763
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:23,777
Hay and feed?
764
00:48:23,853 --> 00:48:24,979
Well, not exactly.
765
00:48:25,055 --> 00:48:26,647
A new hat shop
in Yonkers?
766
00:48:26,723 --> 00:48:28,987
I hear it's a very
beautiful city,
767
00:48:29,059 --> 00:48:30,253
and quite historic
according-
768
00:48:31,895 --> 00:48:33,988
Yes, go on.
769
00:48:34,064 --> 00:48:37,659
Who's been telling you
about Yonkers, may I ask?
770
00:48:37,734 --> 00:48:39,201
Oh, nobody.
A friend.
771
00:48:39,269 --> 00:48:40,827
What friend?
772
00:48:42,105 --> 00:48:44,266
Well, you see,
he-
773
00:48:44,340 --> 00:48:45,534
He?
774
00:48:45,608 --> 00:48:49,066
Yes, uh... he-
775
00:48:49,145 --> 00:48:50,510
His name,
Miss Molloy.
776
00:48:50,580 --> 00:48:51,672
What?
777
00:48:51,748 --> 00:48:53,215
His name.
778
00:48:53,283 --> 00:48:56,480
Oh, I believe it was-
is Mr. Cornelius Hackl
779
00:48:56,553 --> 00:48:59,147
of Yonkers.
780
00:49:00,090 --> 00:49:01,318
Cornelius Hackl?
781
00:49:01,391 --> 00:49:03,188
Yes.
Do you know him?
782
00:49:03,259 --> 00:49:05,159
He's my head clerk.
783
00:49:05,228 --> 00:49:06,286
He is?
784
00:49:06,362 --> 00:49:07,989
He's been in my store
for 10 years.
785
00:49:08,064 --> 00:49:09,793
Where would
you have known him?
786
00:49:09,866 --> 00:49:10,992
Just one of those
chance meetings,
787
00:49:11,067 --> 00:49:12,125
I suppose.
788
00:49:12,202 --> 00:49:14,670
Yes, one of those
chance meetings.
789
00:49:14,737 --> 00:49:15,795
Chance meetings?
790
00:49:15,872 --> 00:49:17,897
Cornelius has no right
to chance meetings!
791
00:49:17,974 --> 00:49:20,033
Where was it?
792
00:49:20,110 --> 00:49:21,543
Really!
It's unlike you
793
00:49:21,611 --> 00:49:22,873
to question me
in such a way.
794
00:49:22,946 --> 00:49:24,880
The truth
might as well
795
00:49:24,948 --> 00:49:26,142
come out now.
796
00:49:26,216 --> 00:49:27,649
Your head clerk
797
00:49:27,717 --> 00:49:29,309
is better known
than you think.
798
00:49:29,385 --> 00:49:30,317
Nonsense.
799
00:49:30,386 --> 00:49:32,650
He's in New York
all the time.
800
00:49:32,722 --> 00:49:34,019
Everybody knows
Cornelius Hackl.
801
00:49:34,090 --> 00:49:36,684
He never comes
to New York.
802
00:49:36,759 --> 00:49:39,057
He works all day
in my store.
803
00:49:39,129 --> 00:49:40,460
So you think,
but it's not true.
804
00:49:40,530 --> 00:49:42,794
Dolly Levi,
you are mistaken!
805
00:49:42,866 --> 00:49:43,992
Horace Vandergelder,
806
00:49:44,067 --> 00:49:46,035
you keep your nose so deep
in account books,
807
00:49:46,102 --> 00:49:49,333
you don't even
know what goes on.
808
00:49:49,405 --> 00:49:51,999
By day, he's your faithful,
trusted clerk.
809
00:49:52,075 --> 00:49:55,841
But by night, oh, by night,
he leads a double life.
810
00:49:55,912 --> 00:49:57,846
Why he's, why he's here-
811
00:49:57,914 --> 00:49:59,848
Umm... at the opera,
812
00:49:59,916 --> 00:50:02,680
at the great restaurants,
the fashionable homes.
813
00:50:02,752 --> 00:50:04,879
He's even at the Harmonia
Gardens restaurant
814
00:50:04,954 --> 00:50:06,387
2, 3 times a week.
815
00:50:06,456 --> 00:50:07,855
The fact is,
816
00:50:07,924 --> 00:50:09,858
he is the wittiest,
gayest, naughtiest,
817
00:50:09,926 --> 00:50:12,827
most delightful man
in New York City.
818
00:50:12,896 --> 00:50:16,593
He's just the-
the famous Cornelius Hackl!
819
00:50:16,666 --> 00:50:18,361
It ain't
the same man.
820
00:50:18,434 --> 00:50:20,925
If I thought Cornelius
came to New York,
821
00:50:21,004 --> 00:50:22,096
I'd discharge him!
822
00:50:22,172 --> 00:50:24,037
Who took the horses off
ofJenny Lind's carriage
823
00:50:24,107 --> 00:50:25,870
and pulled them
through the streets?
824
00:50:25,942 --> 00:50:26,931
- Who?
- Cornelius Hackl!
825
00:50:27,010 --> 00:50:28,875
Who dressed up as a waiter
at the Fifth Avenue Hotel
826
00:50:29,345 --> 00:50:30,869
and took an oyster
and dropped it right down-
827
00:50:30,947 --> 00:50:32,380
No, it's too wicked.
I can't say it.
828
00:50:32,448 --> 00:50:33,938
Say it!
829
00:50:34,017 --> 00:50:35,450
No, but it was
Cornelius Hackl.
830
00:50:35,518 --> 00:50:37,884
It ain't the same man!
Where'd he get the money?
831
00:50:37,954 --> 00:50:40,388
Oh, he's very rich.
832
00:50:40,456 --> 00:50:42,515
Rich?! I keep his money
in my own safe.
833
00:50:42,592 --> 00:50:43,752
He has $145.36!
834
00:50:43,826 --> 00:50:46,886
Oh, Mr. Vandergelder,
you are killing me.
835
00:50:46,963 --> 00:50:48,931
He's one
of the Hackls.
836
00:50:48,998 --> 00:50:50,590
They built
the Raritan Canal.
837
00:50:50,667 --> 00:50:52,430
Then why would he work
in my store?
838
00:50:52,502 --> 00:50:53,560
I don't wanna hear it.
839
00:50:53,636 --> 00:50:55,069
I'm going home.
I have a headache.
840
00:50:55,138 --> 00:50:57,072
It ain't the same man.
You can't escape facts.
841
00:50:57,140 --> 00:50:58,402
I just made him
chief clerk!
842
00:50:58,474 --> 00:51:00,374
If you had any sense,
you'd make him a partner.
843
00:51:00,443 --> 00:51:02,070
Irene, I can see
you're as taken with him
844
00:51:02,145 --> 00:51:03,407
as everybody else is.
845
00:51:03,479 --> 00:51:05,379
But I only met him
once.
846
00:51:05,448 --> 00:51:07,939
Now, don't be thinking
of marrying him.
847
00:51:08,017 --> 00:51:10,417
Dolly, what are
you saying?
848
00:51:10,486 --> 00:51:12,249
Careful. He breaks hearts
like hickory nuts.
849
00:51:12,322 --> 00:51:13,254
Horace: Who?
850
00:51:13,323 --> 00:51:14,255
Cornelius Hackl.
851
00:51:14,324 --> 00:51:15,348
Miss Molloy,
852
00:51:15,425 --> 00:51:17,359
how long has he been
calling on you?
853
00:51:17,427 --> 00:51:18,860
Mr. Vandergelder,
suppose I told you
854
00:51:18,928 --> 00:51:21,396
he has not been
calling on me?
855
00:51:21,464 --> 00:51:23,295
Excuse me.
856
00:51:23,366 --> 00:51:25,527
Not now, Minnie!
857
00:51:31,941 --> 00:51:32,873
Aaah!
858
00:51:32,942 --> 00:51:34,034
Stop singing,
Minnie!
859
00:51:34,110 --> 00:51:35,543
There's a man
in there!
860
00:51:35,612 --> 00:51:36,579
That's not amusing,
Minnie.
861
00:51:36,646 --> 00:51:37,544
But there's a man!
862
00:51:37,614 --> 00:51:39,582
We don't wish
to be interrupted.
863
00:51:39,649 --> 00:51:40,911
Go back immediately.
864
00:51:40,984 --> 00:51:43,919
The poor dear is tired
from overwork.
865
00:51:43,987 --> 00:51:46,979
If there's a man in there,
we'll get him out!
866
00:51:47,056 --> 00:51:48,921
Whoever you are,
come on out!
867
00:51:48,992 --> 00:51:50,721
Do you realize
what you're saying?
868
00:51:50,793 --> 00:51:51,725
I certainly do!
869
00:51:51,794 --> 00:51:53,728
Before you move
or say another word
870
00:51:53,796 --> 00:51:57,789
that you might
regret, allow me.
871
00:51:57,867 --> 00:51:58,765
Dolly!
872
00:51:58,835 --> 00:52:00,564
Stand back.
873
00:52:06,509 --> 00:52:07,999
There. You see?
874
00:52:08,077 --> 00:52:09,874
So much
for this nonsense
875
00:52:09,946 --> 00:52:11,470
about that
darling girl
876
00:52:11,547 --> 00:52:14,277
hiding a man
in the closet.
877
00:52:14,350 --> 00:52:15,840
We'll forget
you ever said it.
878
00:52:15,918 --> 00:52:16,885
It's forgotten.
879
00:52:16,953 --> 00:52:18,386
Ah-choo!
880
00:52:18,454 --> 00:52:20,046
Because there's
nobody in there.
881
00:52:20,123 --> 00:52:21,055
Ah-choo!
882
00:52:21,124 --> 00:52:23,456
God bless you.
883
00:52:32,969 --> 00:52:34,163
Miss Molloy?
884
00:52:34,237 --> 00:52:38,003
Yes, Mr. Vandergelder,
there is a man in there.
885
00:52:38,074 --> 00:52:40,167
I see.
886
00:52:40,243 --> 00:52:43,076
There also happens
to be an explanation,
887
00:52:43,146 --> 00:52:44,579
but for the present
888
00:52:44,647 --> 00:52:47,616
I should just say
good afternoon.
889
00:52:47,684 --> 00:52:52,149
Ah-choo!
890
00:52:53,156 --> 00:52:54,714
Another?
891
00:52:55,658 --> 00:52:57,182
Another.
892
00:52:57,260 --> 00:52:58,158
Good Lord,
893
00:52:58,227 --> 00:53:00,320
the whole room
is crawling with men.
894
00:53:00,396 --> 00:53:01,863
Irene, darling,
congratulations.
895
00:53:01,931 --> 00:53:05,264
Miss Molloy,
I shan't trouble you again.
896
00:53:05,335 --> 00:53:08,336
And I hope, vice versa.
897
00:53:10,271 --> 00:53:12,205
Horace, where
are you going?
898
00:53:12,273 --> 00:53:15,242
To march in
the 14th Street parade
899
00:53:15,310 --> 00:53:17,505
with the kind of people
I can trust-
900
00:53:17,579 --> 00:53:19,911
700 men.
901
00:53:24,319 --> 00:53:26,412
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
902
00:53:39,601 --> 00:53:40,761
Now.
903
00:53:40,835 --> 00:53:42,769
I demand
an explanation!
904
00:53:42,837 --> 00:53:44,771
Have you met
Minnie Fay?
905
00:53:44,839 --> 00:53:47,000
Leave, or I'll call
for Officer Gogarty!
906
00:53:47,075 --> 00:53:49,043
There's no fun
in a jailhouse.
907
00:53:49,110 --> 00:53:50,008
Jail?!
908
00:53:50,078 --> 00:53:51,010
Jail!
909
00:53:51,079 --> 00:53:52,842
Everybody,
don't talk at once!
910
00:53:52,914 --> 00:53:54,040
Just because you're
rich and famous...
911
00:53:54,115 --> 00:53:55,047
Rich and famous?
912
00:53:55,116 --> 00:53:56,048
Don't deny it.
913
00:53:56,117 --> 00:53:57,015
Doesn't mean
914
00:53:57,085 --> 00:53:58,552
you won't make up
for this trouble.
915
00:53:58,620 --> 00:53:59,552
We'll do anything.
916
00:53:59,621 --> 00:54:00,553
Irene,
Cornelius Hackl.
917
00:54:00,622 --> 00:54:01,782
We've already met.
918
00:54:01,856 --> 00:54:03,118
Jail is
absolutely out.
919
00:54:03,191 --> 00:54:04,988
Cornelius,
explain to her.
920
00:54:05,059 --> 00:54:06,219
I'm Cornelius Hackl.
921
00:54:06,294 --> 00:54:07,727
Minnie Fay.
922
00:54:07,795 --> 00:54:10,764
The only way
to make up for it-
923
00:54:10,832 --> 00:54:12,231
Yes, of course-
924
00:54:12,300 --> 00:54:14,461
You can have them
both put away for years
925
00:54:14,536 --> 00:54:16,231
on this charge.
Help, police, help.
926
00:54:16,304 --> 00:54:18,238
Only have dinner
with them first
927
00:54:18,306 --> 00:54:20,740
to show that you tried
to settle amicably.
928
00:54:20,808 --> 00:54:22,503
Dinner first, life
imprisonment later.
929
00:54:22,577 --> 00:54:23,976
It's a lovely day.
930
00:54:24,045 --> 00:54:25,512
It's gonna be
a lovelier evening.
931
00:54:25,580 --> 00:54:27,013
Something could happen
932
00:54:27,081 --> 00:54:28,981
before you send them
to jail.
933
00:54:29,050 --> 00:54:30,483
Oh, by all means.
934
00:54:30,552 --> 00:54:32,782
It's what Barnaby
and I had in mind.
935
00:54:32,854 --> 00:54:34,515
Minnie, we've been
respectable for years.
936
00:54:34,589 --> 00:54:36,022
Now we're in disgrace.
937
00:54:36,090 --> 00:54:38,490
We might as well
make the most of it.
938
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:40,050
We'd be delighted
to accept.
939
00:54:40,128 --> 00:54:42,028
It's the only sensible
thing to do.
940
00:54:42,096 --> 00:54:42,994
Cornelius!
941
00:54:43,064 --> 00:54:44,929
Now, I know
a doughnut shop-
942
00:54:44,999 --> 00:54:46,990
Doughnut shop!
Certainly not!
943
00:54:47,068 --> 00:54:49,798
We want a fine dinner
in the fashionable world.
944
00:54:49,871 --> 00:54:52,499
And I know
just the place-
945
00:54:52,574 --> 00:54:54,769
The Harmonia Gardens
on 14th Street.
946
00:54:54,842 --> 00:54:56,309
Harmonia Gardens!
947
00:54:56,377 --> 00:54:57,776
But wait a minute.
948
00:54:57,845 --> 00:54:59,836
The finest food
that money can buy,
949
00:54:59,914 --> 00:55:01,779
and a lovely orchestra.
A polka contest tonight.
950
00:55:01,849 --> 00:55:03,339
Dancing!
951
00:55:03,418 --> 00:55:05,215
Just ask
for Rudolph.
952
00:55:05,286 --> 00:55:07,516
Oh, we could never
go there.
953
00:55:07,589 --> 00:55:09,716
It sounds marvelous!
Come, Minnie.
954
00:55:09,791 --> 00:55:11,258
We'll close the shop,
955
00:55:11,326 --> 00:55:13,123
and take the whole
afternoon off.
956
00:55:13,194 --> 00:55:15,754
Oh, I mean,
we could never.
957
00:55:15,830 --> 00:55:16,888
Don't misunderstand.
958
00:55:16,965 --> 00:55:18,728
It isn't money,
or anything.
959
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:21,933
It's the... the...
960
00:55:22,067 --> 00:55:23,557
What, Mr. Hackl?
961
00:55:23,635 --> 00:55:24,932
It's the dancing.
962
00:55:25,003 --> 00:55:26,402
You see, I don't know how,
963
00:55:26,471 --> 00:55:28,268
and they have contests
and things like that
964
00:55:28,339 --> 00:55:30,239
at Harmonia
Whatever-it-is.
965
00:55:30,308 --> 00:55:32,071
You said so
yourself.
966
00:55:32,143 --> 00:55:33,542
It would take me
weeks, months,
967
00:55:33,611 --> 00:55:35,772
years to learn.
968
00:55:35,847 --> 00:55:37,815
"Mrs. Dolly Levi.
969
00:55:37,882 --> 00:55:39,941
"283/4 year-old
chief clerks
970
00:55:40,018 --> 00:55:41,246
taught how to-"
971
00:55:41,319 --> 00:55:43,514
Now, you just put
one arm here
972
00:55:43,588 --> 00:55:44,850
and one arm there.
973
00:55:44,923 --> 00:55:46,254
It's no use.
974
00:55:46,324 --> 00:55:47,723
I have absolutely
no sense of rhythm.
975
00:55:47,792 --> 00:55:49,487
Absolutely no sense
of rhythm
976
00:55:49,561 --> 00:55:51,153
is one of the primary
requirements
977
00:55:51,229 --> 00:55:53,220
for learning
by the Levi method.
978
00:55:53,298 --> 00:55:55,266
Just give me 5 minutes
of your time, Mr. Hackl.
979
00:55:55,333 --> 00:55:56,766
I'll have you dancing
in the streets.
980
00:55:56,835 --> 00:56:00,100
I think we'll start
with lesson 7.
981
00:56:00,171 --> 00:56:01,968
Right foot, touch,
left foot, touch,
982
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:03,473
under, back around,
touch.
983
00:56:03,541 --> 00:56:05,372
Back through around,
out, over, release,
984
00:56:05,443 --> 00:56:07,468
unfurl, oh, oh.
985
00:56:07,545 --> 00:56:10,241
That's wonderful,
Mr. Hackl.
986
00:56:10,315 --> 00:56:11,805
When I think
of the lucky women
987
00:56:11,883 --> 00:56:13,714
who'll find heaven
in your arms-
988
00:56:13,785 --> 00:56:15,582
I think we'll go
back to lesson one,
989
00:56:15,653 --> 00:56:17,644
shall we?
990
00:56:17,722 --> 00:56:20,782
Put your hand
on her waist
991
00:56:20,859 --> 00:56:23,123
and stand...
992
00:56:23,194 --> 00:56:25,094
with her right
993
00:56:25,163 --> 00:56:27,028
in your left...
994
00:56:27,098 --> 00:56:28,531
hand.
995
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,535
And...
996
00:56:31,603 --> 00:56:33,503
1...
997
00:56:33,571 --> 00:56:35,505
That's right.
998
00:56:35,573 --> 00:56:37,507
And 1, 2,
999
00:56:37,575 --> 00:56:39,509
3... ah!
1000
00:56:39,577 --> 00:56:41,545
Ah.
1001
00:56:41,613 --> 00:56:44,776
1... 2...
1002
00:56:44,849 --> 00:56:46,544
3- Oh, no,
this one.
1003
00:56:46,618 --> 00:56:48,552
And 1...
1004
00:56:48,620 --> 00:56:50,554
2...
1005
00:56:50,622 --> 00:56:52,556
3...
1006
00:56:52,624 --> 00:56:57,027
1... 2... 3...
1007
00:56:57,095 --> 00:56:58,562
Look!
1008
00:56:58,630 --> 00:57:00,063
I'm dancing!
1009
00:57:00,131 --> 00:57:01,257
Aah...
1010
00:57:01,332 --> 00:57:02,594
I was.
1011
00:57:02,667 --> 00:57:05,067
Of course you were,
Mr. Hackl.
1012
00:57:25,089 --> 00:57:27,751
Look! I'm dancing!
1013
00:57:27,825 --> 00:57:30,225
Ah! Uh, come here.
1014
00:57:42,740 --> 00:57:46,198
The word I think I'd use
is athletic.
1015
00:57:49,614 --> 00:57:50,603
Good.
1016
00:57:59,624 --> 00:58:01,091
That's wonderful.
1017
00:58:01,159 --> 00:58:02,558
Look, everybody!
1018
00:58:02,627 --> 00:58:05,095
I, Cornelius Hackl,
sport,
1019
00:58:05,163 --> 00:58:07,393
I'm dancing!
1020
00:58:08,967 --> 00:58:11,629
You're next,
Mr. Tucker.
1021
00:58:11,703 --> 00:58:13,227
Ah!
1022
00:58:25,917 --> 00:58:28,511
And everyone,
stand aside!
1023
00:58:28,586 --> 00:58:30,554
Uh, not yet,
Mr. Tucker.
1024
00:58:30,622 --> 00:58:32,021
1-2-3, 1-2-3
1025
00:58:32,090 --> 00:58:33,182
1-2-3, 1...
1026
00:58:33,258 --> 00:58:34,555
He's dancing!
1027
00:58:34,626 --> 00:58:37,459
I think he's holdin'
out on us.
1028
00:58:49,274 --> 00:58:52,243
Whatever you do, Mr. Tucker,
keep breathing.
1029
00:59:05,123 --> 00:59:07,557
Ha ha ha!
1030
00:59:07,625 --> 00:59:09,183
Oh!
1031
00:59:09,260 --> 00:59:12,093
Ha ha ha!
1032
00:59:12,163 --> 00:59:14,927
Ha ha ha ha!
1033
00:59:14,999 --> 00:59:16,591
Ha ha!
1034
00:59:16,668 --> 00:59:18,636
Come on.
1035
01:04:54,283 --> 01:04:56,342
Dolly!
1036
01:04:56,419 --> 01:04:59,320
Cornelius is taking us
to see the parade.
1037
01:04:59,388 --> 01:05:01,322
Everyone
will be marching.
1038
01:05:01,390 --> 01:05:03,324
Cornelius:
Come on, Mrs. Levi!
1039
01:05:03,392 --> 01:05:07,021
Oh, Dolly, the world is full
of such wonderful things.
1040
01:05:09,532 --> 01:05:12,626
Hurry, before
the parade passes by!
1041
01:05:14,070 --> 01:05:15,469
Yes, I will.
1042
01:05:15,538 --> 01:05:16,937
I will.
1043
01:05:28,551 --> 01:05:31,145
Before the parade
passes by.
1044
01:07:11,821 --> 01:07:14,915
Ephraim, let me go.
1045
01:07:16,626 --> 01:07:19,094
It's been long enough,
Ephraim.
1046
01:07:21,097 --> 01:07:24,464
Every night,
just like you'd want me to,
1047
01:07:24,533 --> 01:07:26,967
I've put out the cat,
1048
01:07:27,036 --> 01:07:29,470
made myself
a rum toddy,
1049
01:07:29,538 --> 01:07:32,371
and before I went to bed,
said a little prayer
1050
01:07:32,441 --> 01:07:35,877
thanking God
that I was independent,
1051
01:07:35,945 --> 01:07:41,542
that no one else's life
was mixed up with mine.
1052
01:07:43,586 --> 01:07:46,054
But lately, Ephraim...
1053
01:07:46,989 --> 01:07:49,048
I've begun
to realize that...
1054
01:07:50,493 --> 01:07:53,394
for a long time...
1055
01:07:53,462 --> 01:07:56,397
I have not shed one tear.
1056
01:07:57,667 --> 01:08:00,067
Nor have I been for one...
1057
01:08:00,136 --> 01:08:02,400
moment...
1058
01:08:02,471 --> 01:08:04,564
outrageously happy.
1059
01:08:06,075 --> 01:08:08,009
Now, Horace Vandergelder,
1060
01:08:08,077 --> 01:08:10,045
he's always saying,
1061
01:08:10,112 --> 01:08:12,512
"The world
is full of fools,"
1062
01:08:12,581 --> 01:08:14,412
and in a way,
he's right, isn't he?
1063
01:08:14,483 --> 01:08:17,452
I mean, himself, Cornelius,
Irene, myself.
1064
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:18,919
But there comes a time
1065
01:08:18,988 --> 01:08:21,422
when you have got
to decide
1066
01:08:21,490 --> 01:08:23,890
whether you want to be
a fool among fools...
1067
01:08:23,959 --> 01:08:26,018
or a fool alone.
1068
01:08:27,430 --> 01:08:30,399
Well, I have made
that decision, Ephraim,
1069
01:08:30,466 --> 01:08:34,368
but I would feel
so much better about it if-
1070
01:08:34,437 --> 01:08:36,871
If you could just
give me a sign-
1071
01:08:36,939 --> 01:08:39,499
any kind of a sign
that you approve.
1072
01:08:39,575 --> 01:08:41,475
I'm going back, Ephraim.
1073
01:08:41,544 --> 01:08:44,877
I've decided to join
the human race again.
1074
01:08:44,947 --> 01:08:47,381
And, Ephraim...
1075
01:08:47,450 --> 01:08:50,385
I want you to give me away.