1
00:01:56,635 --> 00:01:58,603
Is there anything I can do
for you, monsieur?

2
00:01:58,670 --> 00:02:00,001
No.

3
00:02:10,515 --> 00:02:11,641
Yes, monsieur?

4
00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:13,343
Just looking around.

5
00:02:30,869 --> 00:02:33,565
Comrades, why should we lie
to each other? It's wonderful.

6
00:02:33,638 --> 00:02:36,300
Let's be honest.
Have we anything like it in Russia?

7
00:02:36,374 --> 00:02:37,363
No.

8
00:02:37,442 --> 00:02:40,343
Can you imagine what the beds would be
in a hotel like that?

9
00:02:40,412 --> 00:02:42,880
They tell me when you ring once,
the valet comes in.

10
00:02:42,948 --> 00:02:44,779
When you ring twice, you get a waiter.

11
00:02:44,849 --> 00:02:47,716
And do you know what happens
when you ring three times?

12
00:02:47,786 --> 00:02:50,755
A maid comes in, a French maid.

13
00:02:50,989 --> 00:02:54,891
Comrades, if we ring nine times...
Let's go in.

14
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,222
Just a minute.

15
00:02:56,294 --> 00:02:58,956
I have nothing against the idea,
but I still say...

16
00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:01,055
let's go back to the Hotel Terminus.

17
00:03:01,132 --> 00:03:04,727
Moscow made our reservations there.
We are on an official mission...

18
00:03:04,803 --> 00:03:07,738
and we have no right
to change the orders of our superiors.

19
00:03:07,806 --> 00:03:09,706
Where is your courage,
Comrade Buljanoff?

20
00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:12,038
Are you the Buljanoff
who fought on the barricades?

21
00:03:12,110 --> 00:03:14,340
And now you are afraid
to take a room with a bath?

22
00:03:14,412 --> 00:03:15,674
I don't want to go to Siberia.

23
00:03:15,747 --> 00:03:17,578
And I don't want to go to Hotel Terminus.

24
00:03:17,649 --> 00:03:19,549
And I don't want to...

25
00:03:19,618 --> 00:03:22,212
- No.
- Listen to me.

26
00:03:22,621 --> 00:03:25,522
Look, Buljanoff, if Lenin were alive,
he would say:

27
00:03:25,590 --> 00:03:28,491
"Buljanoff, comrade,
for once in your life you're in Paris.

28
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,994
"Don't be a fool.
Go in there and ring three times."

29
00:03:31,062 --> 00:03:32,120
He wouldn't say that.

30
00:03:32,197 --> 00:03:35,428
What he would say is:
"You can't afford to live in a cheap hotel.

31
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,298
"Doesn't the prestige of the Bolsheviks
mean anything to you?

32
00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:39,769
"Do you want to live in a hotel...

33
00:03:39,838 --> 00:03:42,534
"where you press for the hot water
and cold water comes...

34
00:03:42,607 --> 00:03:45,474
"and when you press for cold water,
nothing comes at all?"

35
00:03:45,543 --> 00:03:47,067
Phooey, Buljanoff.

36
00:03:47,145 --> 00:03:49,943
I still say our place
is with the common people.

37
00:03:50,015 --> 00:03:52,745
But who am I to contradict Lenin?
Let's go in.

38
00:03:55,987 --> 00:03:57,818
- Are you the manager?
- Yes, monsieur.

39
00:03:57,889 --> 00:03:59,982
Pardon me for introducing
Comrade Iranoff...

40
00:04:00,058 --> 00:04:02,219
- member of the Russian Board of Trade.
- Monsieur.

41
00:04:02,294 --> 00:04:04,194
- This is Comrade Kopalski.
- Monsieur.

42
00:04:04,262 --> 00:04:06,253
- And I am Comrade Buljanoff.
- Monsieur.

43
00:04:06,331 --> 00:04:08,526
May I ask you how much your rooms are?

44
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,262
Gentlemen, I'm afraid
our rates are rather high.

45
00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:13,327
Why should you be afraid?

46
00:04:14,005 --> 00:04:16,200
I might be able to accommodate you.

47
00:04:16,274 --> 00:04:18,174
- Is there some more luggage?
- Yes.

48
00:04:18,243 --> 00:04:20,404
But have you a safe
big enough to hold this?

49
00:04:20,478 --> 00:04:23,276
I'm afraid we have no boxes
of that size in the vault...

50
00:04:23,348 --> 00:04:26,215
- but there's a suite with a private safe.
- That's even better.

51
00:04:26,284 --> 00:04:29,151
- But, gentlemen, I'm afraid...
- He's always afraid.

52
00:04:29,387 --> 00:04:31,617
I just wanted to explain.

53
00:04:31,790 --> 00:04:33,621
The apartment
may suit your convenience...

54
00:04:33,692 --> 00:04:35,853
but I doubt whether
it will fit your convictions.

55
00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:38,020
- It's the Royal Suite.
- The Royal Suite?

56
00:04:38,096 --> 00:04:39,324
Just a minute.

57
00:04:39,397 --> 00:04:43,561
Comrades, I warn you, if it gets out in
Moscow that we stay in the Royal Suite...

58
00:04:43,635 --> 00:04:45,125
we'll get into terrible trouble.

59
00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:47,694
We'll tell them we had to do it
on account of the safe.

60
00:04:47,772 --> 00:04:50,570
That's a perfect excuse.
There was no other safe big enough.

61
00:04:50,642 --> 00:04:52,439
- That's right.
- That's fine.

62
00:04:53,011 --> 00:04:54,911
Of course, we could take out the pieces...

63
00:04:54,979 --> 00:04:57,846
and distribute them
in three or four boxes in the vault...

64
00:04:57,916 --> 00:04:59,406
and take a small room.

65
00:04:59,484 --> 00:05:02,612
- That's an idea, isn't it?
- Yes, that's an idea.

66
00:05:02,854 --> 00:05:04,549
But who said we had to have an idea?

67
00:05:04,622 --> 00:05:07,113
- That's right.
- That's very good.

68
00:05:07,192 --> 00:05:09,990
- Give us the Royal Suite.
- Step this way, please.

69
00:05:30,782 --> 00:05:31,976
Hello.

70
00:05:32,183 --> 00:05:35,346
Please connect me with Mercier.
Yes, the jeweler.

71
00:05:38,289 --> 00:05:41,690
Hello? No, I want to speak
to Monsieur Mercier personally.

72
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:42,818
Yes.

73
00:05:43,528 --> 00:05:44,995
Hello, Monsieur Mercier?

74
00:05:45,063 --> 00:05:47,827
This is Iranoff,
Member of the Russian Board of Trade.

75
00:05:47,899 --> 00:05:49,833
Yes, we arrived this morning.

76
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,798
Thank you very much.

77
00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:54,430
Yes, we have everything here.
The necklace, too.

78
00:05:54,506 --> 00:05:57,532
All 14 pieces, at the... What?

79
00:05:58,109 --> 00:05:59,940
No, Monsieur Mercier.

80
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:04,141
The court jewels of the Grand
Duchess Swana consisted of 14 pieces.

81
00:06:04,349 --> 00:06:06,180
Why don't you check on that?

82
00:06:06,317 --> 00:06:08,649
Of course, we have
all the necessary credentials.

83
00:06:10,054 --> 00:06:12,784
Take care of the Royal Suite.
I'll be back in 10 minutes.

84
00:06:12,857 --> 00:06:15,052
- All right, Rakonin.
- Thank you very much.

85
00:06:16,094 --> 00:06:18,255
- 8 rue de Chalon.
- Bien, monsieur.

86
00:06:38,917 --> 00:06:40,817
- Hello, Leon.
- Good morning, Swana, darling.

87
00:06:40,885 --> 00:06:43,445
It's really a wretched morning.
I can't get myself right.

88
00:06:43,521 --> 00:06:45,386
I wanted to look mellow and I look brittle.

89
00:06:45,457 --> 00:06:48,153
My face doesn't compose well.
It's all highlights.

90
00:06:48,259 --> 00:06:51,092
How can I dim myself down, Leon?
Suggest something.

91
00:06:51,162 --> 00:06:55,030
I'm so bored with this face.
I wish I had someone else's face.

92
00:06:55,099 --> 00:06:57,260
Whose face would you have
if you had your choice?

93
00:06:57,335 --> 00:06:59,701
I guess one gets the face one deserves.

94
00:06:59,771 --> 00:07:02,069
There's one marvelous advantage
to your composition.

95
00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:04,938
However many questions you ask,
you never expect an answer.

96
00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:06,704
Don't you find that restful?

97
00:07:06,778 --> 00:07:09,474
- Good morning, darling.
- Good morning.

98
00:07:09,581 --> 00:07:12,812
- Why didn't you come last night?
- I was looking after your interests.

99
00:07:12,884 --> 00:07:13,942
Did you win?

100
00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:16,213
We can forget horse racing,
roulette, everything.

101
00:07:16,287 --> 00:07:17,413
Our worries are over.

102
00:07:17,489 --> 00:07:20,117
You remember the platinum watch
with the diamond numbers?

103
00:07:20,191 --> 00:07:22,216
You'll be in a position
to give it to me now.

104
00:07:22,293 --> 00:07:24,488
Darling, you're so good to me.

105
00:07:25,563 --> 00:07:27,463
We could be rich, if you say the word.

106
00:07:27,532 --> 00:07:30,933
- I had dinner with the Guizots last night.
- Those awful newspaper people.

107
00:07:31,002 --> 00:07:33,368
You'd be surprised
how many nice people dine with them.

108
00:07:33,438 --> 00:07:35,736
What a gruesome proof
of the power of the press.

109
00:07:35,807 --> 00:07:39,140
I sold Monsieur Guizot the idea
of publishing your memoirs...

110
00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:40,643
- in the Gazette Parisienne.
- What?

111
00:07:40,712 --> 00:07:44,079
'The Life and Loves of the
Grand Duchess Swana of Russia. '

112
00:07:44,148 --> 00:07:48,084
We won't have to worry about our future
if you're willing to raffle off your past.

113
00:07:48,686 --> 00:07:49,914
Come in.

114
00:07:53,591 --> 00:07:56,560
Count Rakonin asks the privilege
of a few words, Your Highness.

115
00:07:56,628 --> 00:07:59,290
- Rakonin?
- He's a waiter at the Clarence, poor devil.

116
00:07:59,364 --> 00:08:00,763
- You know him.
- Yes.

117
00:08:00,832 --> 00:08:03,266
Tell him I won't be able to see him
for half an hour.

118
00:08:03,334 --> 00:08:05,564
The Count says if it could be
as soon as possible.

119
00:08:05,637 --> 00:08:07,628
It's luncheon time,
and he is between courses.

120
00:08:07,705 --> 00:08:09,229
All right, I'll see him right away.

121
00:08:09,307 --> 00:08:12,834
- I can't get myself right today...
- Count Rakonin's between courses.

122
00:08:13,711 --> 00:08:15,975
My little Volga boatman.

123
00:08:19,384 --> 00:08:22,046
- How do you do, my friend? Won't you sit?
- Your Highness.

124
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:25,180
- Your Highness, forgive this intrusion...
- Have you lost your job?

125
00:08:25,256 --> 00:08:27,315
No, madame.
Something of the utmost importance.

126
00:08:27,392 --> 00:08:29,519
- It concerns your jewels.
- My jewels?

127
00:08:29,594 --> 00:08:32,324
I remember one birthday of His Majesty,
our beloved Czar...

128
00:08:32,397 --> 00:08:34,524
I had the honor of being on guard
at his palace.

129
00:08:34,599 --> 00:08:37,033
I still see you bending before His Majesty.

130
00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:39,467
You wore your diadem and a necklace.

131
00:08:39,771 --> 00:08:41,500
But why do you bring this up now?

132
00:08:41,573 --> 00:08:43,700
They are here. Your jewels, here in Paris.

133
00:08:43,775 --> 00:08:45,470
Alexis, do you know what you're saying?

134
00:08:45,543 --> 00:08:47,340
This morning, three Soviet agents arrived.

135
00:08:47,412 --> 00:08:50,347
I overheard a telephone conversation
with Mercier, the jeweler.

136
00:08:50,415 --> 00:08:53,407
- They're going to sell them.
- Did I hear something about jewels?

137
00:08:53,484 --> 00:08:55,645
Rakonin has just given me
the most amazing news.

138
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,245
You know Count d'AIgout.
I must call my lawyer at once.

139
00:08:58,323 --> 00:09:01,759
- I'm sorry, Your Highness. I have to leave.
- I'll get in touch with you.

140
00:09:01,826 --> 00:09:03,726
- Hello. Balzac, 2769.
- Au revoir, monsieur.

141
00:09:03,795 --> 00:09:04,887
Au revoir.

142
00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:07,996
This is the Grand Duchess Swana.

143
00:09:08,066 --> 00:09:11,832
I want to speak to Monsieur Cornillon.
It's very important. Get him right away.

144
00:09:12,236 --> 00:09:13,464
Hello, Monsieur Cornillon?

145
00:09:13,538 --> 00:09:16,996
The most incredible thing has happened.
My jewels are here in Paris.

146
00:09:17,075 --> 00:09:19,339
Three Bolshevik swine
are trying to sell them.

147
00:09:19,410 --> 00:09:20,399
Yes!

148
00:09:21,412 --> 00:09:25,007
Now, we must act immediately.
Call the police, have them arrested.

149
00:09:25,116 --> 00:09:27,050
Well, then get an injunction.

150
00:09:27,452 --> 00:09:29,716
But do something, Monsieur Cornillon!

151
00:09:29,887 --> 00:09:31,354
But they are my jewels.

152
00:09:31,422 --> 00:09:33,322
There must be some way
of getting them back.

153
00:09:33,391 --> 00:09:34,756
What does he say?

154
00:09:35,026 --> 00:09:37,017
But how can there be a question?

155
00:09:37,528 --> 00:09:39,428
Are you my lawyer or theirs?

156
00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:44,096
It's all right.

157
00:09:44,569 --> 00:09:46,696
Yes, all right, I will call you later.

158
00:09:46,771 --> 00:09:49,262
- What did he say?
- They're pretty hopeless.

159
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:50,864
There may be a chance, that's all.

160
00:09:50,942 --> 00:09:53,274
The French government has recognized
Soviet Russia...

161
00:09:53,344 --> 00:09:56,313
and he doubts that they will risk a war
for my poor sake.

162
00:09:56,381 --> 00:10:00,112
He might be able to make up some kind
of a case, but it would cost money.

163
00:10:00,218 --> 00:10:03,346
Money, that's all they are interested in,
those lawyers.

164
00:10:03,421 --> 00:10:05,889
Darling, calm down.
Why do you need a lawyer?

165
00:10:05,957 --> 00:10:07,788
Haven't you your little Volga boatman?

166
00:10:11,029 --> 00:10:13,497
Very good, excellent, superb.

167
00:10:13,665 --> 00:10:16,498
It'd be foolish to belittle the quality
of the merchandise...

168
00:10:16,567 --> 00:10:17,898
but your terms are impossible.

169
00:10:17,969 --> 00:10:19,698
My counteroffer is the absolute maximum.

170
00:10:19,771 --> 00:10:20,829
But Monsieur Mercier...

171
00:10:20,905 --> 00:10:23,339
Gentlemen, I'm going to let you in
on a little secret.

172
00:10:23,408 --> 00:10:26,571
We are undertaking this deal
only because of the prestige involved.

173
00:10:26,644 --> 00:10:28,805
And, frankly,
we're expected to take a loss.

174
00:10:29,047 --> 00:10:30,878
Capitalistic methods.

175
00:10:30,948 --> 00:10:33,815
They accumulate millions
by taking loss after loss.

176
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,788
This is Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski.

177
00:10:39,624 --> 00:10:41,751
Who? Count d'AIgout?

178
00:10:42,393 --> 00:10:44,258
No, that must be a mistake.

179
00:10:44,696 --> 00:10:46,561
No, we can't be disturbed.

180
00:10:46,631 --> 00:10:49,794
I assure you no one else can meet
the figure named by my syndicate.

181
00:10:49,867 --> 00:10:51,801
At least not under
these economic conditions.

182
00:10:51,869 --> 00:10:52,858
We can wait.

183
00:10:52,937 --> 00:10:55,804
Do we give the impression of people
who are pressed for money?

184
00:10:55,873 --> 00:10:56,897
Yes.

185
00:10:56,974 --> 00:10:58,908
Gentlemen, let's put our cards
on the table.

186
00:10:58,976 --> 00:11:01,410
Right now, there's
a Russian commission in New York...

187
00:11:01,479 --> 00:11:02,707
trying to sell 15 Rembrandts.

188
00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:05,214
Another in London
mortgaging the oil fields in Baku.

189
00:11:05,283 --> 00:11:06,682
You need money, and quickly.

190
00:11:06,751 --> 00:11:10,710
My offer is a very fair one, and doesn't
even take advantage of your situation.

191
00:11:11,289 --> 00:11:12,551
Just a minute.

192
00:11:17,428 --> 00:11:19,589
- Now, listen.
- We have just a minute.

193
00:11:20,531 --> 00:11:24,831
- The pieces are all registered.
- I know. Thank you so much.

194
00:11:26,571 --> 00:11:29,768
- He's cutting our throat.
- What can we do? We have to accept.

195
00:11:29,841 --> 00:11:32,401
Comrades, don't let's give in so quickly.

196
00:11:32,477 --> 00:11:35,275
After all, we have to uphold
the prestige of Russia.

197
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:38,509
All right, let's uphold it
for another 10 minutes.

198
00:11:44,856 --> 00:11:48,019
- We don't want to be disturbed.
- My name is d'AIgout. I telephoned.

199
00:11:48,092 --> 00:11:50,083
If you want to see us,
you must come in later.

200
00:11:50,161 --> 00:11:52,254
- Just a word with Mercier.
- You can't come in.

201
00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:55,060
Monsieur Mercier, may I introduce myself?
I'm Leon d'AIgout.

202
00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:57,727
I had the pleasure of meeting you
in your beautiful shop.

203
00:11:57,802 --> 00:12:00,532
I was admiring the platinum watch
with the diamond numbers.

204
00:12:00,605 --> 00:12:03,039
- Yes, of course.
- You remember, I...

205
00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:05,502
Glorious, aren't they?

206
00:12:05,576 --> 00:12:08,306
- You have no right.
- I did not permit you to come in here.

207
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:10,711
Just a moment.
I hope you haven't closed this deal.

208
00:12:10,782 --> 00:12:13,945
- It may bring you serious trouble.
- Who are you and what do you want?

209
00:12:14,018 --> 00:12:16,009
Those jewels belong to
Grand Duchess Swana...

210
00:12:16,087 --> 00:12:18,385
and were seized illegally
by the Soviet government.

211
00:12:18,456 --> 00:12:21,186
I am acting for Her Highness.
Here is my power of attorney.

212
00:12:21,259 --> 00:12:23,557
You know, Monsieur Mercier,
this is all nonsense.

213
00:12:23,628 --> 00:12:26,426
These may have been the jewels
of the Grand Duchess Swana...

214
00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:29,557
but like all private property,
they were confiscated by the State.

215
00:12:29,634 --> 00:12:32,228
We'll leave the problem of ownership
to the French courts.

216
00:12:32,303 --> 00:12:34,828
Meanwhile, I have filed a petition
for an injunction...

217
00:12:34,906 --> 00:12:37,773
to prohibit you from either selling
or removing the jewels.

218
00:12:37,942 --> 00:12:39,500
Here is a copy.

219
00:12:40,278 --> 00:12:44,078
If there is anything which isn't clear,
I shall be glad to explain it.

220
00:12:44,582 --> 00:12:45,640
Thank you.

221
00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:48,942
Gentlemen, this introduces
a new element into our negotiations.

222
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:52,285
- Until this claim is completely settled...
- We can call our ambassador.

223
00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:54,586
I give you my word,
they were confiscated legally.

224
00:12:54,659 --> 00:12:55,648
That's right.

225
00:12:55,726 --> 00:12:58,354
Hold on, gentlemen,
please try to understand my position.

226
00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,363
I am not withdrawing. My offer stands.

227
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:03,559
When you can produce a clear title
approved by the French courts...

228
00:13:03,634 --> 00:13:04,965
we can close the deal.

229
00:13:05,036 --> 00:13:07,095
Until then, gentlemen, good day.

230
00:13:07,305 --> 00:13:09,830
I thought it my duty to warn you.
I should have hated...

231
00:13:09,907 --> 00:13:11,340
- to see you in trouble.
- Thank you.

232
00:13:11,409 --> 00:13:14,401
- I hope you will forgive me.
- I consider myself very lucky.

233
00:13:14,478 --> 00:13:16,412
- Good day.
- Good day, monsieur.

234
00:13:16,981 --> 00:13:19,074
You believe me, I...

235
00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:21,277
Gentlemen, how about a little lunch?

236
00:13:21,352 --> 00:13:23,286
- Will you get out of here!
- Yes, get out.

237
00:13:23,354 --> 00:13:25,845
But don't look so gloomy.
You may have a chance.

238
00:13:25,923 --> 00:13:27,982
- We may have a chance?
- That's ridiculous.

239
00:13:28,059 --> 00:13:29,356
Yes, a very slim one.

240
00:13:29,427 --> 00:13:32,260
I want to be fair.
I don't deny that you might have a case.

241
00:13:32,330 --> 00:13:35,561
We haven't anything to discuss with you.
We'll talk to a lawyer.

242
00:13:35,633 --> 00:13:37,726
You talk to a lawyer and I'll talk to a judge.

243
00:13:37,802 --> 00:13:40,236
That won't help you.
You can't intimidate us.

244
00:13:40,304 --> 00:13:42,829
Soviet Russia will put
all its might behind this case.

245
00:13:42,907 --> 00:13:45,876
Yes. You think because you represent
the former Grand Duchess...

246
00:13:45,943 --> 00:13:47,934
- The Grand Duchess.
- The former Grand Duchess.

247
00:13:48,012 --> 00:13:50,810
At any rate, gentlemen,
a charming, exquisite woman.

248
00:13:50,882 --> 00:13:54,716
I warn you, if this case comes to trial,
it will be before a French court.

249
00:13:54,785 --> 00:13:56,946
And when the Grand Duchess
takes the stand...

250
00:13:57,021 --> 00:14:00,081
Go ahead, get her on the witness stand.
What can she say?

251
00:14:00,157 --> 00:14:02,022
But how will she look?

252
00:14:02,226 --> 00:14:04,558
The fashions this spring
are very becoming to her.

253
00:14:04,629 --> 00:14:07,996
Gentlemen, the judge will be French,
the jury will be French...

254
00:14:08,065 --> 00:14:10,295
everybody in the courtroom
will be French.

255
00:14:10,368 --> 00:14:13,804
Have you seen a French court when
a beautiful woman sits on the stand...

256
00:14:13,871 --> 00:14:15,930
and raises her skirt a little?

257
00:14:16,007 --> 00:14:19,408
You sit down and pull up your pants
and where would it get you?

258
00:14:20,278 --> 00:14:23,304
I suppose you expect us
to hand over the jewels?

259
00:14:23,381 --> 00:14:26,179
No, I'm not a highwayman,
just a nuisance.

260
00:14:26,584 --> 00:14:29,178
All I want to do is make things
as difficult as possible.

261
00:14:29,253 --> 00:14:33,485
Not that we are giving in one inch,
but tell us what is in your mind?

262
00:14:33,557 --> 00:14:34,649
Yeah.

263
00:14:34,725 --> 00:14:36,920
- What about my proposition?
- What proposition?

264
00:14:36,994 --> 00:14:38,757
I just said, let's have some lunch.

265
00:16:04,682 --> 00:16:06,673
Hey, Sasha, Sergei, Misha.

266
00:16:07,284 --> 00:16:08,808
What? What do you want?

267
00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:09,910
What can we do for you?

268
00:16:09,987 --> 00:16:12,649
That telegram from Moscow,
why should you bother about it?

269
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:15,419
- I've written it for you.
- Leon, Leonitchka.

270
00:16:15,493 --> 00:16:17,859
Why are you so good to us?

271
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:21,594
That's very nice, boys.
Now, wait a minute.

272
00:16:21,665 --> 00:16:24,293
What was the name of that
Commissar of the Board of Trade?

273
00:16:24,368 --> 00:16:25,630
Razinin.

274
00:16:25,703 --> 00:16:27,762
Commissar Razinin,
Board of Trade, Moscow.

275
00:16:27,838 --> 00:16:30,602
- You wouldn't like Razinin.
- No, he's a bad man.

276
00:16:30,674 --> 00:16:33,472
- He sends people to Siberia.
- We don't like Razinin.

277
00:16:33,544 --> 00:16:35,102
- No.
- We don't like him.

278
00:16:35,179 --> 00:16:37,010
We like Leon. Don't we like Leon?

279
00:16:37,148 --> 00:16:38,308
Yes!

280
00:16:41,185 --> 00:16:42,812
Wait a minute.

281
00:16:42,887 --> 00:16:44,320
Now wait a minute, how's this?

282
00:16:44,388 --> 00:16:48,620
"Commissar Razinin, Board of Trade,
Moscow. Unexpected situation here.

283
00:16:48,692 --> 00:16:50,922
"Grand Duchess Swana in Paris,
claims jewels...

284
00:16:50,995 --> 00:16:53,862
"and has already brought
injunction against sale or removal.

285
00:16:53,931 --> 00:16:56,297
"After long and serious study...

286
00:16:56,367 --> 00:16:59,063
"we suggest in the interest
of our beloved country...

287
00:16:59,136 --> 00:17:01,161
"a 50-50 settlement as best solution.

288
00:17:01,238 --> 00:17:03,138
"Iranoff, Buljanoff, and Kopalski."

289
00:17:03,207 --> 00:17:05,767
If we say that, we'll all be sent to Siberia.

290
00:17:05,843 --> 00:17:08,607
- And if we have to go to Siberia...
- I will send you a muff.

291
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:11,079
Leon, why are you so good to us?

292
00:17:14,251 --> 00:17:15,946
Comrade waiter!

293
00:17:19,256 --> 00:17:21,315
Why are you so good to us?

294
00:17:23,727 --> 00:17:25,820
Get the champagne to the other room.

295
00:17:25,896 --> 00:17:27,864
That's enough. Go along.

296
00:17:28,132 --> 00:17:31,158
- Take this to the telegraph office at once.
- Yes, monsieur.

297
00:17:46,283 --> 00:17:49,582
Hello. Yes, Leon. What is it, Leon?

298
00:17:50,488 --> 00:17:54,151
You can't hurry such things.
You must give Moscow a little time.

299
00:17:54,225 --> 00:17:56,022
There's nothing we can do about it.

300
00:17:56,093 --> 00:17:57,560
Why don't you drop in later?

301
00:17:57,628 --> 00:17:59,118
Yes. Au revoir.

302
00:18:00,297 --> 00:18:01,355
What's the matter?

303
00:18:01,432 --> 00:18:04,333
This is a telegram from Moscow.
It must have been here all day.

304
00:18:04,401 --> 00:18:05,993
"Halt negotiations immediately.

305
00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:10,006
"Envoy Extraordinary arrives Thursday
5:20 p.m. With full power.

306
00:18:10,074 --> 00:18:12,872
"Your authority cancelled herewith.
Razinin."

307
00:18:12,943 --> 00:18:15,036
- It is Thursday.
- It's 5:00 already.

308
00:18:15,112 --> 00:18:17,205
I always said it would be Siberia.

309
00:18:21,152 --> 00:18:22,881
Give me the desk, please.

310
00:18:23,053 --> 00:18:25,521
This is this is the Royal Suite,
Iranoff speaking.

311
00:18:25,589 --> 00:18:28,080
Listen, a special envoy
is coming from Moscow today.

312
00:18:28,159 --> 00:18:29,626
He'll occupy the Royal Suite.

313
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:32,253
Move our things
to the smallest room you've got.

314
00:18:32,329 --> 00:18:34,422
Yes. Right away, instantly.

315
00:18:38,235 --> 00:18:39,463
Pass, please.

316
00:18:44,508 --> 00:18:47,238
Now this is a fine thing.
Maybe we've missed him already.

317
00:18:47,311 --> 00:18:50,212
How can we find somebody
without knowing what he looks like?

318
00:18:57,154 --> 00:18:58,519
That must be the one.

319
00:18:59,957 --> 00:19:02,152
Yes, he looks like a comrade.

320
00:19:08,499 --> 00:19:09,932
Heil Hitler.

321
00:19:11,869 --> 00:19:14,463
- No, that's not him.
- Positively not.

322
00:19:14,538 --> 00:19:17,439
- What are we going to do now?
- I don't know.

323
00:19:20,678 --> 00:19:22,612
We must have missed him.

324
00:19:34,425 --> 00:19:36,450
I'm looking for
Michael Simonovitch Iranoff.

325
00:19:36,527 --> 00:19:37,994
I am Michael Simonovitch Iranoff.

326
00:19:38,062 --> 00:19:40,553
I am Nina Ivanovna Yakushova,
Envoy Extraordinary...

327
00:19:40,631 --> 00:19:43,395
acting under direct orders
of Comrade Commissar Razinin.

328
00:19:43,467 --> 00:19:45,367
Present me to your colleagues.

329
00:19:45,436 --> 00:19:46,869
- Comrade Buljanoff.
- Comrade.

330
00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:48,632
- Comrade Kopalski.
- Comrade.

331
00:19:49,139 --> 00:19:52,267
What a charming idea for Moscow
to surprise us with a lady comrade.

332
00:19:52,343 --> 00:19:54,937
If we had known,
we would have greeted you with flowers.

333
00:19:55,012 --> 00:19:57,139
Don't make an issue of my womanhood.

334
00:19:57,214 --> 00:20:00,945
We are here for work, all of us.
Let's not waste any time. Shall we go?

335
00:20:01,018 --> 00:20:02,383
Porter, here, please.

336
00:20:03,554 --> 00:20:04,714
What do you want?

337
00:20:04,788 --> 00:20:06,847
- May I have your bags, madame?
- Why?

338
00:20:06,924 --> 00:20:09,722
- He is a porter, he wants to carry them.
- Why?

339
00:20:10,094 --> 00:20:11,925
Why should you carry other people's bags?

340
00:20:11,996 --> 00:20:13,463
That's my business, madame.

341
00:20:13,530 --> 00:20:16,328
That's no business. That's social injustice.

342
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,628
That depends on the tip.

343
00:20:17,701 --> 00:20:19,828
- Allow me, comrade.
- No, thank you.

344
00:20:21,438 --> 00:20:22,928
Ticket, please.

345
00:20:24,575 --> 00:20:27,100
- How are things in Moscow?
- Very good.

346
00:20:27,244 --> 00:20:30,145
The last mass trials were a great success.

347
00:20:30,214 --> 00:20:33,012
There are going to be fewer
but better Russians.

348
00:20:41,091 --> 00:20:42,251
What's that?

349
00:20:42,726 --> 00:20:45,126
It's a hat, comrade. A woman's hat.

350
00:20:45,195 --> 00:20:47,026
How can such a civilization survive...

351
00:20:47,097 --> 00:20:50,225
which permits their women
to put things like that on their heads?

352
00:20:50,668 --> 00:20:52,636
It won't be long now, comrades.

353
00:20:54,972 --> 00:20:58,840
This is the apartment we have reserved
for you, Comrade Yakushova.

354
00:20:59,076 --> 00:21:00,407
I hope you like it.

355
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,939
Which part of the room is mine?

356
00:21:07,618 --> 00:21:10,246
You see, comrade,
it's a little different here.

357
00:21:10,321 --> 00:21:14,280
They don't rent rooms in pieces.
We had to take the whole suite.

358
00:21:28,339 --> 00:21:30,807
- How much does this cost?
- 2,000 francs.

359
00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:32,569
- A week?
- A day.

360
00:21:33,277 --> 00:21:35,939
Do you know how much a cow costs,
Comrade Iranoff?

361
00:21:36,013 --> 00:21:38,709
- A cow?
- 2,000 francs.

362
00:21:39,083 --> 00:21:43,679
If I stay here a week,
I will cost the Russian people seven cows.

363
00:21:44,688 --> 00:21:47,782
Who am I to cost the Russian people
seven cows?

364
00:21:47,858 --> 00:21:49,985
We had to take it on account of the safe.

365
00:21:50,060 --> 00:21:52,119
For ourselves, we are much happier now...

366
00:21:52,196 --> 00:21:55,962
since we moved to a little room
right next to the servants' quarters.

367
00:21:56,033 --> 00:21:59,127
I'm ashamed to put a picture of Lenin
in a room like this.

368
00:21:59,203 --> 00:22:01,501
- Do you want to be alone, comrade?
- No.

369
00:22:04,608 --> 00:22:07,736
Comrades, your telegram was received
with great disfavor in Moscow.

370
00:22:07,811 --> 00:22:09,073
We did our best, comrade.

371
00:22:09,146 --> 00:22:12,309
I hope so, for your sake.
Let's examine the case.

372
00:22:12,616 --> 00:22:14,811
- What does the lawyer say?
- Which lawyer?

373
00:22:15,252 --> 00:22:17,345
You didn't get legal advice?

374
00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:20,390
We dealt directly with the representative
of the Grand Duchess.

375
00:22:20,457 --> 00:22:23,483
I am sure if you call him,
he will give you a very clear picture.

376
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,187
I will not repeat your mistake.

377
00:22:25,262 --> 00:22:28,698
I will have no dealings with
the Grand Duchess nor her representative.

378
00:22:34,304 --> 00:22:36,966
- Comrade Buljanoff?
- Yes, comrade?

379
00:22:37,708 --> 00:22:40,336
Do you spell Buljanoff
with one or two "F's"?

380
00:22:41,745 --> 00:22:44,179
With two "F's," if you please.

381
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:50,987
Have you some cigarettes?

382
00:22:54,825 --> 00:22:58,488
This is the Royal Suite.
Please send up some cigarettes. Yes.

383
00:23:00,364 --> 00:23:02,525
You just telephone
and you get what you want.

384
00:23:02,599 --> 00:23:04,590
That's the capitalistic system.

385
00:23:05,502 --> 00:23:08,403
Comrades, I am not in a position
to pass final judgment.

386
00:23:08,472 --> 00:23:11,373
But at best, you've been careless
in your duty to the State.

387
00:23:11,442 --> 00:23:14,605
You were entrusted with more
than a mere sale of jewelry.

388
00:23:15,212 --> 00:23:18,875
Why are we peddling our precious
possessions to the world at this time?

389
00:23:18,949 --> 00:23:21,747
Our next year's crop is in danger
and you know it.

390
00:23:22,352 --> 00:23:25,321
Unless we can get foreign currency
to buy tractors...

391
00:23:25,689 --> 00:23:27,953
there will not be enough bread
for our people.

392
00:23:28,025 --> 00:23:30,960
- And you, comrades...
- We did it with the best intentions.

393
00:23:31,028 --> 00:23:33,929
We can't feed the Russian people
on your intentions.

394
00:23:34,131 --> 00:23:37,123
Fifty percent to a so-called Grand Duchess.

395
00:23:37,468 --> 00:23:40,198
Half of every loaf of bread to our enemy.

396
00:23:40,270 --> 00:23:41,862
- Comrade Kopalski.
- Yes, comrade.

397
00:23:41,939 --> 00:23:45,602
Go at once to our embassy and get me
the address of the best lawyer in Paris.

398
00:23:45,676 --> 00:23:46,700
Yes, comrade.

399
00:23:46,777 --> 00:23:48,768
Comrade Iranoff, go to the public library...

400
00:23:48,846 --> 00:23:51,337
and get me the section
of the Civil Code on property.

401
00:23:51,415 --> 00:23:54,282
- Is there anything I can do, comrade?
- Yes.

402
00:23:54,585 --> 00:23:57,110
You might get me
an accurate map of Paris.

403
00:23:57,187 --> 00:24:00,247
I want to use my spare time
to inspect public utilities...

404
00:24:00,324 --> 00:24:03,885
and to make a study of all outstanding
technical achievements in the city.

405
00:24:03,961 --> 00:24:05,189
Yes, comrade.

406
00:24:06,430 --> 00:24:07,419
Come in.

407
00:24:09,666 --> 00:24:11,998
- Hello. Cigarettes?
- Hello.

408
00:24:19,343 --> 00:24:22,471
Comrades, you must
have been smoking a lot.

409
00:24:26,950 --> 00:24:27,939
Desk.

410
00:24:28,285 --> 00:24:29,980
Yes, Monsieur Kopalski.

411
00:24:30,053 --> 00:24:32,112
You are expecting Count d'AIgout?

412
00:24:32,189 --> 00:24:35,124
But he is not to go to the Royal Suite
under any circumstances.

413
00:24:35,192 --> 00:24:37,387
He should go to your new room, 985.

414
00:24:37,461 --> 00:24:38,860
Thank you, monsieur.

415
00:25:01,084 --> 00:25:02,483
You, please.

416
00:25:02,986 --> 00:25:03,975
Me?

417
00:25:04,054 --> 00:25:06,181
Could you give me some information?

418
00:25:06,256 --> 00:25:07,382
Gladly.

419
00:25:07,991 --> 00:25:10,050
How long must we wait here?

420
00:25:10,260 --> 00:25:13,423
Well, until the policeman blows
his whistle again.

421
00:25:13,530 --> 00:25:16,158
- At what intervals does he whistle?
- What?

422
00:25:16,533 --> 00:25:19,730
How many minutes between
the first and second whistle?

423
00:25:21,004 --> 00:25:23,632
That's very funny.
I never thought of that before.

424
00:25:23,707 --> 00:25:26,175
You've never been caught
in a similar situation?

425
00:25:26,243 --> 00:25:29,644
Yes, I have. Now that I come
to think about it, it's staggering.

426
00:25:29,713 --> 00:25:33,240
Good heavens, if I add it up, I must
have spent years waiting for signals.

427
00:25:33,317 --> 00:25:36,650
Imagine, an important part of my life
wasted between whistles.

428
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,779
- In other words, you don't know?
- No.

429
00:25:38,855 --> 00:25:41,653
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

430
00:25:59,943 --> 00:26:01,706
Can I be of any assistance to you?

431
00:26:01,778 --> 00:26:03,905
- You might hold this for me.
- I'd love to.

432
00:26:04,081 --> 00:26:05,844
Correct me if I am wrong.

433
00:26:05,916 --> 00:26:08,976
- We are facing north, aren't we?
- Facing north?

434
00:26:09,987 --> 00:26:12,922
I would hate to commit myself
without my compass.

435
00:26:13,624 --> 00:26:17,617
- Pardon me, are you an explorer?
- No, I am looking for the Eiffel Tower.

436
00:26:17,694 --> 00:26:20,060
Good heavens, is that thing lost again?

437
00:26:21,298 --> 00:26:23,061
Are you interested in a view?

438
00:26:23,133 --> 00:26:26,125
I'm interested in the Eiffel Tower
from a technical standpoint.

439
00:26:26,203 --> 00:26:27,465
Technical?

440
00:26:27,537 --> 00:26:30,199
No, I'm afraid I couldn't be of much help
from that angle.

441
00:26:30,273 --> 00:26:33,640
A Parisian only goes to the Tower
in moments of despair to jump off.

442
00:26:33,710 --> 00:26:35,905
How long does it take a man to land?

443
00:26:37,447 --> 00:26:41,474
Now isn't that too bad?
The last time I jumped, I forgot to time it.

444
00:26:41,551 --> 00:26:44,111
Let me see now, the Eiffel Tower...

445
00:26:45,288 --> 00:26:46,755
Your finger, please.

446
00:26:47,057 --> 00:26:48,752
Why do you need my finger?

447
00:26:48,892 --> 00:26:51,292
It's bad manners to point with your own.

448
00:26:53,030 --> 00:26:55,021
There, the Eiffel Tower.

449
00:26:55,098 --> 00:26:56,531
And where are we?

450
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,898
Where are we? Now, let me see.

451
00:26:58,969 --> 00:27:00,334
Here we are.

452
00:27:00,470 --> 00:27:02,631
There you are and here am I.

453
00:27:03,273 --> 00:27:04,365
Feel it?

454
00:27:04,441 --> 00:27:08,207
I'm interested only in the shortest
distance between these two points.

455
00:27:08,278 --> 00:27:11,247
- Must you flirt?
- Well, I don't have to but I find it natural.

456
00:27:11,314 --> 00:27:13,874
- Suppress it.
- I'll try.

457
00:27:13,950 --> 00:27:15,212
For my own information...

458
00:27:15,285 --> 00:27:18,721
would you call your approach toward me
typical of the local morale?

459
00:27:18,789 --> 00:27:21,417
It is that approach
which has made Paris what it is.

460
00:27:21,491 --> 00:27:23,322
You're very sure of yourself, aren't you?

461
00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:25,953
Nothing's happened recently
to shake my self-confidence.

462
00:27:26,029 --> 00:27:29,556
I have heard of the arrogant male
in capitalistic society.

463
00:27:29,633 --> 00:27:33,262
It is having a superior earning power
that makes you that way.

464
00:27:33,336 --> 00:27:36,430
A Russian. I love Russians.

465
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:41,077
Comrade, I've been fascinated by
your Five-Year Plan for the last 15 years.

466
00:27:41,144 --> 00:27:43,635
Your type will soon be extinct.

467
00:27:48,151 --> 00:27:49,277
Taxi!

468
00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:15,908
Can you tell me the exact width
of the foundation...

469
00:28:15,979 --> 00:28:18,072
on which these piers are resting,
and the depth?

470
00:28:18,148 --> 00:28:20,048
You don't have to worry. The thing is safe.

471
00:28:20,117 --> 00:28:23,348
- I am not afraid...
- "The foundation is 141 yards square."

472
00:28:23,553 --> 00:28:26,488
- I hope you'll forgive me but I thought...
- Go on.

473
00:28:26,556 --> 00:28:29,582
"Four massive pieces of masonry
are sunk to a depth of 46 feet...

474
00:28:29,659 --> 00:28:32,423
"on the side of the Seine,
and 29.5 feet on the other side.

475
00:28:32,496 --> 00:28:35,397
"The girders of interlaced ironwork,
which stay the structure...

476
00:28:35,465 --> 00:28:37,330
"have an inclination of 54 degrees."

477
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,834
- That's a strange angle.
- Yes, that's very strange.

478
00:28:39,903 --> 00:28:43,395
"Ascending to the first platform
is a staircase consisting of...

479
00:28:43,473 --> 00:28:46,271
"829 steps."

480
00:28:48,078 --> 00:28:51,479
"And an additional 254 steps
to the very top.

481
00:28:52,449 --> 00:28:55,043
"There's an elevator included
in the price of admission."

482
00:28:56,253 --> 00:28:57,914
It'll take you hours to walk up there.

483
00:28:57,988 --> 00:29:00,320
The elevator will get you up
in three minutes.

484
00:29:30,787 --> 00:29:33,984
You gave me some very
valuable information. Thank you.

485
00:29:35,325 --> 00:29:39,125
Thank you for getting me up here.
I've never seen this before.

486
00:29:40,230 --> 00:29:42,323
- Beautiful, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.

487
00:29:43,166 --> 00:29:45,657
I'm glad I saw it before becoming extinct.

488
00:29:46,136 --> 00:29:50,004
Now don't misunderstand me.
I do not hold your frivolity against you.

489
00:29:50,407 --> 00:29:53,035
As basic material, you may not be bad.

490
00:29:53,109 --> 00:29:56,237
But you are the unfortunate product
of a doomed culture.

491
00:29:56,313 --> 00:29:58,042
I feel very sorry for you.

492
00:29:58,415 --> 00:30:01,612
But you must admit
that this doomed old civilization sparkles.

493
00:30:01,685 --> 00:30:03,710
Look at it. It glitters.

494
00:30:04,054 --> 00:30:08,115
I do not deny its beauty,
but it's a waste of electricity.

495
00:30:08,191 --> 00:30:09,556
What a city.

496
00:30:09,726 --> 00:30:13,184
There are the grand boulevards
blasted out of the heart of the old city.

497
00:30:13,263 --> 00:30:16,027
The Arc de Triomphe,
built to greet Napoleon's army.

498
00:30:16,099 --> 00:30:18,659
The Opera. Montparnasse. Montmartre.

499
00:30:20,570 --> 00:30:24,267
And now, I'll show you
the greatest attraction of all.

500
00:30:25,008 --> 00:30:27,306
It'll cost me a franc, but it's worth it.

501
00:30:27,777 --> 00:30:30,746
The most unique spot in all Paris.
Really, I'm not exaggerating.

502
00:30:30,814 --> 00:30:33,009
It's wonderful. It's charming. It's...

503
00:30:33,650 --> 00:30:34,639
Please.

504
00:30:38,288 --> 00:30:39,721
What do you see?

505
00:30:40,156 --> 00:30:43,319
I see a house. Looks like any other house.

506
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,593
- What's remarkable about it?
- It's not the structure.

507
00:30:46,663 --> 00:30:48,756
It's the spirit that dwells within it.

508
00:30:48,832 --> 00:30:52,233
It has three rooms and a kitchenette
dedicated to hospitality.

509
00:30:52,335 --> 00:30:55,065
- So it's your house?
- Let's say I live in it.

510
00:30:56,206 --> 00:30:59,573
It's such a pleasant little place.
It has all the comforts.

511
00:30:59,643 --> 00:31:02,077
Easy to reach,
near the subway, bus, and streetcar...

512
00:31:02,145 --> 00:31:05,740
- Does it mean you want me to go there?
- Please, don't misunderstand me.

513
00:31:05,815 --> 00:31:08,079
- Then you don't want me to go there?
- No.

514
00:31:08,151 --> 00:31:10,676
I didn't say that either.
Nothing would please me more.

515
00:31:10,754 --> 00:31:12,278
Then why don't we go?

516
00:31:12,822 --> 00:31:15,723
You might be an interesting
subject of study.

517
00:31:17,093 --> 00:31:18,424
I'll do my best.

518
00:31:25,869 --> 00:31:27,962
- Good evening, Gaston.
- Good evening, monsieur.

519
00:31:28,038 --> 00:31:30,370
- Is this what you call the "butler"?
- Yes.

520
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,032
Good evening, comrade.

521
00:31:32,375 --> 00:31:35,538
This man is very old.
You shouldn't make him work.

522
00:31:35,612 --> 00:31:36,943
He takes good care of that.

523
00:31:37,013 --> 00:31:39,038
He looks sad. Do you whip him?

524
00:31:39,115 --> 00:31:41,174
No, but the mere thought
makes my mouth water.

525
00:31:41,251 --> 00:31:43,651
The day will come when you will be free.

526
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,712
Go to bed, little father.
We want to be alone.

527
00:31:47,657 --> 00:31:48,715
Please.

528
00:31:50,026 --> 00:31:52,551
Count d'AIgout,
there have been several telephone calls.

529
00:31:52,629 --> 00:31:54,358
Go to bed, little father.

530
00:32:11,181 --> 00:32:14,309
- Now, may I offer you a drink?
- Thank you, I'm not thirsty.

531
00:32:14,384 --> 00:32:15,544
Perhaps something to eat.

532
00:32:15,618 --> 00:32:18,314
I've had all the calories
necessary for today.

533
00:32:18,388 --> 00:32:19,787
Yes, all the calories.

534
00:32:19,856 --> 00:32:21,346
What do we do now?

535
00:32:23,026 --> 00:32:25,654
- Shall we have some music?
- Is that customary?

536
00:32:26,997 --> 00:32:28,191
It helps.

537
00:32:28,565 --> 00:32:31,762
It has ever since King David
wooed Bathsheba with his harp.

538
00:32:31,835 --> 00:32:35,669
Not being so fortunate as to have
my harp at hand, I'll turn on the radio.

539
00:32:45,849 --> 00:32:48,409
If there's anything you'd like to study,
please go ahead.

540
00:32:48,485 --> 00:32:49,713
I've nothing to conceal.

541
00:32:49,786 --> 00:32:52,914
This is my desk, these are my books,
and here am I.

542
00:32:52,989 --> 00:32:54,422
Where shall we begin?

543
00:32:54,491 --> 00:32:56,618
- I will start with you.
- Excellent.

544
00:32:57,027 --> 00:33:00,428
Let's see, I'm 35 years old,
just over 6 feet tall...

545
00:33:00,497 --> 00:33:02,590
and weigh 182 pounds, stripped.

546
00:33:02,665 --> 00:33:04,360
What is your profession?

547
00:33:05,001 --> 00:33:06,263
My profession?

548
00:33:07,303 --> 00:33:09,601
Keeping my body fit,
keeping my mind alert...

549
00:33:09,672 --> 00:33:12,300
and keeping the landlord appeased,
that's a full-time job.

550
00:33:12,375 --> 00:33:14,172
And what do you do for mankind?

551
00:33:14,644 --> 00:33:15,872
For mankind?

552
00:33:16,546 --> 00:33:19,447
Yes, not so much for mankind.

553
00:33:20,650 --> 00:33:23,483
But for womankind,
my record isn't quite so bleak.

554
00:33:23,987 --> 00:33:26,478
You are something
we do not have in Russia.

555
00:33:26,723 --> 00:33:28,623
Thank you. Glad you told me.

556
00:33:28,691 --> 00:33:31,524
That's why I believe
in the future of my country.

557
00:33:36,166 --> 00:33:39,226
I'm beginning to believe in it myself
since I've met you.

558
00:33:40,236 --> 00:33:42,830
I still don't quite know what it's all about.

559
00:33:43,206 --> 00:33:45,766
It confuses me, frightens me.

560
00:33:47,343 --> 00:33:49,140
But it fascinates me.

561
00:33:50,246 --> 00:33:51,645
Ninotchka...

562
00:33:52,715 --> 00:33:54,774
do you like me just a little bit?

563
00:33:55,185 --> 00:33:58,086
Your general appearance is not distasteful.

564
00:33:59,189 --> 00:34:00,554
Thank you.

565
00:34:01,124 --> 00:34:03,217
The whites of your eyes are clear.

566
00:34:03,726 --> 00:34:06,217
Your cornea is excellent.

567
00:34:08,898 --> 00:34:10,695
Your cornea is terrific.

568
00:34:12,235 --> 00:34:15,295
Ninotchka, tell me.
You're so expert on things.

569
00:34:16,005 --> 00:34:18,269
Can it be that I'm falling in love with you?

570
00:34:18,341 --> 00:34:20,502
Why must you bring in wrong values?

571
00:34:20,844 --> 00:34:24,644
Love is a romantic designation
for a most ordinary biological...

572
00:34:24,714 --> 00:34:26,682
or shall we say "chemical," process.

573
00:34:26,749 --> 00:34:29,343
A lot of nonsense is talked
and written about it.

574
00:34:29,419 --> 00:34:30,579
I see.

575
00:34:31,087 --> 00:34:32,782
What do you use instead?

576
00:34:32,856 --> 00:34:36,883
I acknowledge the existence
of a natural impulse common to all.

577
00:34:38,027 --> 00:34:41,053
What can I possibly do
to encourage such an impulse in you?

578
00:34:41,131 --> 00:34:43,031
You don't have to do a thing.

579
00:34:43,399 --> 00:34:45,993
Chemically, we are already
quite sympathetic.

580
00:34:47,504 --> 00:34:50,098
You are the most incredible creature
I've ever met.

581
00:34:50,173 --> 00:34:52,073
Ninotchka.

582
00:34:52,208 --> 00:34:53,835
You repeat yourself.

583
00:34:54,010 --> 00:34:56,478
Yes, I'd like to say it 1,000 times.

584
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,446
You must forgive me
if I seem a little old-fashioned.

585
00:34:59,516 --> 00:35:00,949
After all, I'm just a poor bourgeois.

586
00:35:01,284 --> 00:35:03,184
It's never too late to change.

587
00:35:03,253 --> 00:35:05,653
I used to belong
to the petite bourgeoisie myself.

588
00:35:05,722 --> 00:35:06,746
No.

589
00:35:06,823 --> 00:35:09,587
My father and mother wanted
me to stay and work on the farm.

590
00:35:09,659 --> 00:35:11,126
But I preferred the bayonet.

591
00:35:11,194 --> 00:35:13,162
The bayonet? Did you really?

592
00:35:13,229 --> 00:35:16,164
- I was wounded before Warsaw.
- Wounded, how?

593
00:35:16,232 --> 00:35:19,224
I was a sergeant
in the Third Cavalry Brigade.

594
00:35:19,536 --> 00:35:21,333
Would you like to see my wound?

595
00:35:23,373 --> 00:35:24,772
I'd love to.

596
00:35:29,846 --> 00:35:32,474
A Polish lancer. I was 16.

597
00:35:32,549 --> 00:35:35,074
Poor Ninotchka.

598
00:35:35,318 --> 00:35:39,721
Don't pity me. Pity the Polish lancer.
After all, I'm still alive.

599
00:35:41,124 --> 00:35:43,251
What kind of a girl are you, anyway?

600
00:35:43,326 --> 00:35:44,725
Just what you see.

601
00:35:45,094 --> 00:35:47,961
A tiny cog in the great wheel of evolution.

602
00:35:48,264 --> 00:35:50,789
You're the most adorable cog
I've ever seen.

603
00:35:51,234 --> 00:35:53,566
Ninotchka, let me confess something.

604
00:35:53,636 --> 00:35:56,901
Never did I dream I could feel like this
toward a sergeant.

605
00:36:00,210 --> 00:36:01,575
Do you hear that?

606
00:36:04,214 --> 00:36:07,047
- It's 12:00.
- It's midnight.

607
00:36:07,183 --> 00:36:10,584
Look at the clock. One hand has met
the other hand. They kiss.

608
00:36:10,653 --> 00:36:11,915
Isn't that wonderful?

609
00:36:11,988 --> 00:36:14,889
That's the way a clock works.
What's wonderful about it?

610
00:36:14,958 --> 00:36:16,448
Ninotchka, it's midnight.

611
00:36:16,526 --> 00:36:19,495
One half of Paris
is making love to the other half.

612
00:36:19,562 --> 00:36:22,258
You merely feel you must put yourself
in a romantic mood...

613
00:36:22,332 --> 00:36:23,697
to add to your exhilaration.

614
00:36:23,766 --> 00:36:25,734
I can't possibly think of any better reason.

615
00:36:25,802 --> 00:36:27,167
That's false sentimentality.

616
00:36:27,237 --> 00:36:29,296
You analyze everything out of existence.

617
00:36:29,372 --> 00:36:32,034
You'd analyze me out of existence,
but I won't let you.

618
00:36:32,108 --> 00:36:34,042
Love isn't so simple, Ninotchka.

619
00:36:34,110 --> 00:36:36,704
Ninotchka, why do doves bill and coo?

620
00:36:37,180 --> 00:36:40,013
Why do snails,
the coldest of all creatures...

621
00:36:40,083 --> 00:36:42,711
circle interminably around each other?

622
00:36:42,919 --> 00:36:45,479
Why do moths fly hundreds of miles
to find their mates?

623
00:36:45,555 --> 00:36:48,319
Why do flowers slowly open their petals?

624
00:36:48,691 --> 00:36:52,957
Ninotchka, surely you feel some
slight symptom of the divine passion?

625
00:36:54,130 --> 00:36:56,655
A general warmth
in the palms of your hands.

626
00:36:57,567 --> 00:37:00,001
A strange heaviness in your limbs.

627
00:37:00,737 --> 00:37:02,637
A burning of the lips that isn't thirst...

628
00:37:02,705 --> 00:37:06,766
but something 1,000 times more
tantalizing, more exalting than thirst.

629
00:37:08,378 --> 00:37:10,278
You are very talkative.

630
00:37:19,756 --> 00:37:21,348
Was that talkative?

631
00:37:21,424 --> 00:37:23,722
No. That was restful.

632
00:37:24,661 --> 00:37:25,787
Again.

633
00:37:35,371 --> 00:37:36,702
Thank you.

634
00:37:37,674 --> 00:37:39,835
My barbaric Ninotchka...

635
00:37:40,043 --> 00:37:43,308
my impossible, unromantic, statistical...

636
00:37:52,055 --> 00:37:53,215
Again.

637
00:37:55,425 --> 00:37:57,689
- The telephone is ringing.
- Let it ring.

638
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,786
One of your friends may be in need of you.
You must answer.

639
00:38:08,805 --> 00:38:09,965
Hello.

640
00:38:10,273 --> 00:38:11,968
Yes. What?

641
00:38:12,809 --> 00:38:14,936
Yes. Well, I'm sorry. I couldn't make it.

642
00:38:15,011 --> 00:38:17,502
No, I ran into an old friend from the army.

643
00:38:18,781 --> 00:38:19,941
What?

644
00:38:20,016 --> 00:38:22,450
The whole deal is off?
Are you crazy, Buljanoff?

645
00:38:23,019 --> 00:38:25,010
A special envoy arrived.

646
00:38:26,022 --> 00:38:28,354
I'll be glad to see her
whenever she wants to.

647
00:38:29,359 --> 00:38:31,156
She doesn't want to see me?

648
00:38:31,894 --> 00:38:33,794
What do you know about that? Why?

649
00:38:36,466 --> 00:38:39,060
I'll get in touch with her myself.
What's her name?

650
00:38:41,637 --> 00:38:44,435
Good heavens, these Russian names.
How do you spell it?

651
00:38:48,678 --> 00:38:50,703
Y-A...

652
00:38:52,115 --> 00:38:54,606
"Yakushova."

653
00:38:54,951 --> 00:38:56,145
Thanks.

654
00:39:01,991 --> 00:39:05,483
Yakushova Ninotchka.

655
00:39:06,596 --> 00:39:08,291
Yes, all right, thank you.

656
00:39:19,442 --> 00:39:20,670
I must go.

657
00:39:20,743 --> 00:39:23,678
Or should I say
"Special Envoy Yakushova"?

658
00:39:23,813 --> 00:39:27,214
- Let's forget we ever met.
- No, I have a much better suggestion.

659
00:39:27,283 --> 00:39:30,912
Let's forget the telephone ever rang.
I never heard that you are Yakushova.

660
00:39:30,987 --> 00:39:33,751
You are Ninotchka, my Ninotchka.

661
00:39:34,524 --> 00:39:36,617
I was sent here by my country
to fight you.

662
00:39:36,692 --> 00:39:40,287
All right, fight me as much as you want,
only fight me tomorrow morning.

663
00:39:40,363 --> 00:39:43,161
There's nothing sweeter than
sharing a secret with an enemy.

664
00:39:43,232 --> 00:39:45,894
You represent White Russia
and I represent Red Russia.

665
00:39:45,968 --> 00:39:48,198
Tonight let's not represent anybody
but ourselves.

666
00:39:48,271 --> 00:39:49,397
It is out of the question.

667
00:39:49,472 --> 00:39:51,702
- Lf you wish to approach me...
- You know I want to.

668
00:39:51,774 --> 00:39:53,469
Then do it through my lawyer.

669
00:39:53,976 --> 00:39:55,944
But Ninotchka,
you can't walk out like this.

670
00:39:56,012 --> 00:39:57,309
I am crazy about you.

671
00:39:57,380 --> 00:40:00,747
I thought I'd made an impression on you.
You liked the white of my eye.

672
00:40:00,817 --> 00:40:02,284
I must go.

673
00:40:04,020 --> 00:40:05,851
I held you in my arms.

674
00:40:06,589 --> 00:40:08,079
You kissed me.

675
00:40:09,158 --> 00:40:11,991
I kissed a Polish lancer, too...

676
00:40:12,962 --> 00:40:14,486
before he died.

677
00:40:24,707 --> 00:40:26,231
Yes, Marianne darling.

678
00:40:26,309 --> 00:40:29,039
No, you didn't waken me.
I'm not only up, I'm on my way out.

679
00:40:29,111 --> 00:40:31,409
Yes, I want to catch Leon
before he rushes out...

680
00:40:31,481 --> 00:40:33,642
and loses himself in my business affairs.

681
00:40:33,716 --> 00:40:36,116
Everything was going perfectly
until three days ago...

682
00:40:36,185 --> 00:40:38,881
when some horrid female envoy
arrived from Moscow.

683
00:40:38,955 --> 00:40:40,513
Now, we don't know where we are.

684
00:40:40,590 --> 00:40:43,184
I'll telephone you tonight, darling.
Goodbye, dear.

685
00:40:44,227 --> 00:40:47,060
I seem to remember
some additional injunctive provision...

686
00:40:47,129 --> 00:40:49,996
dealing with the property of foreigners
residing in France.

687
00:40:50,066 --> 00:40:53,502
You are referring to Paragraph 59B,
Section 25F of the Civil Code.

688
00:40:55,338 --> 00:40:57,431
Page 824.

689
00:40:58,508 --> 00:41:01,102
And do not fail to read the three footnotes.

690
00:41:01,177 --> 00:41:03,475
While you are studying it, I will eat.

691
00:41:19,662 --> 00:41:21,960
- Where to, madame?
- Can you recommend a restaurant?

692
00:41:22,031 --> 00:41:24,056
There's Grenier if you care for seafood.

693
00:41:24,133 --> 00:41:26,033
- Where do you eat?
- At Pere Mathieu.

694
00:41:26,102 --> 00:41:28,229
- Where is that?
- It's just a place for workmen.

695
00:41:28,304 --> 00:41:30,534
- Where is it?
- Down eight blocks, rue de Provelles.

696
00:41:30,606 --> 00:41:31,664
Thank you.

697
00:41:47,423 --> 00:41:50,187
Are you alone, madame?
A nice little corner table?

698
00:41:50,259 --> 00:41:52,193
Or perhaps by the window
would be better?

699
00:41:52,261 --> 00:41:53,888
This way, madame.

700
00:42:00,369 --> 00:42:03,270
I think this is the first time
you've been in my little place.

701
00:42:03,339 --> 00:42:04,897
Your face is new to me.

702
00:42:05,608 --> 00:42:07,041
Now what shall it be?

703
00:42:07,109 --> 00:42:08,974
Raw beets and carrots.

704
00:42:09,645 --> 00:42:11,909
Madame, this is a restaurant,
not a meadow.

705
00:42:11,981 --> 00:42:13,846
Now, here's what we are offering today.

706
00:42:13,916 --> 00:42:15,008
Please make your choice.

707
00:42:15,084 --> 00:42:18,281
I'm sure you will find something
to tempt your appetite.

708
00:42:30,866 --> 00:42:33,198
Well, for goodness' sake, hello.

709
00:42:33,336 --> 00:42:35,361
It certainly is a small world, isn't it?

710
00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:40,367
Well, madame, shall we start with soup?

711
00:42:40,443 --> 00:42:41,501
Fish soup today.

712
00:42:41,577 --> 00:42:43,568
I got up at 5:00
to fish them from the Seine.

713
00:42:43,646 --> 00:42:46,206
- Crawfish soup for me.
- Very well, monsieur.

714
00:42:46,282 --> 00:42:48,512
Then may I suggest
an omelet with mushrooms?

715
00:42:48,584 --> 00:42:50,916
Bring me something simple.
I never think about food.

716
00:42:50,987 --> 00:42:53,922
Madame, if you don't think about food,
what do you think about?

717
00:42:53,990 --> 00:42:55,855
The future of the common people.

718
00:42:55,925 --> 00:42:58,086
That's also a question of food.

719
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,687
I will bring you a nice little lunch,
a la Pere Mathieu.

720
00:43:11,007 --> 00:43:12,372
May I say something?

721
00:43:12,441 --> 00:43:15,103
You insulted him, do you know that?
You hurt his feelings.

722
00:43:15,177 --> 00:43:17,907
It's just like telling a musician
that you don't like music.

723
00:43:17,980 --> 00:43:21,472
That good old man believes in food
just as you believe in Karl Marx.

724
00:43:22,084 --> 00:43:25,542
You can't go around hurting people
like that, Comrade Yakushova.

725
00:43:27,123 --> 00:43:29,216
But you can make it up to him.
Do you know how?

726
00:43:29,291 --> 00:43:32,089
By eating everything
that he brings you with relish...

727
00:43:32,161 --> 00:43:33,719
by drinking everything with gusto...

728
00:43:33,796 --> 00:43:36,629
by having a good time
for the first time in your natural life.

729
00:43:36,699 --> 00:43:39,327
- I don't like you following me.
- I didn't follow you.

730
00:43:39,402 --> 00:43:41,529
- How did you get here?
- I always eat here.

731
00:43:41,604 --> 00:43:43,231
This is a place for working men.

732
00:43:43,305 --> 00:43:46,433
But my dear child,
I am most at home among working men.

733
00:43:46,509 --> 00:43:50,172
I hate those places where you circulate,
the Clarence Hotel and those places.

734
00:43:50,246 --> 00:43:51,941
This is my natural element.

735
00:43:52,014 --> 00:43:54,380
After all, what are any of us?
Working men.

736
00:43:54,450 --> 00:43:56,782
At least, those of us
who are worth our salt.

737
00:43:56,852 --> 00:43:58,217
- Hiya!
- Hi.

738
00:44:01,323 --> 00:44:03,791
Hiya, boys. How's everything today?

739
00:44:03,859 --> 00:44:06,259
- Is the lunch all right?
- Fine.

740
00:44:06,328 --> 00:44:07,852
- Pay our check.
- Thank you, I will.

741
00:44:07,930 --> 00:44:09,158
Great bunch of fellows.

742
00:44:09,231 --> 00:44:11,199
My friend, I am happy to see you again.

743
00:44:11,267 --> 00:44:13,497
I'm always glad to meet a new customer.

744
00:44:13,569 --> 00:44:16,697
And I hope this first visit
will not be your last one.

745
00:44:18,007 --> 00:44:19,907
He's just an old man. His memory is weak.

746
00:44:19,975 --> 00:44:21,704
What are you after?

747
00:44:21,811 --> 00:44:24,143
Must one always be after something?

748
00:44:24,213 --> 00:44:25,407
Your tactics are useless.

749
00:44:25,481 --> 00:44:27,949
I'm not Buljanoff, Iranoff, or Kopalski.

750
00:44:28,017 --> 00:44:30,178
Ninotchka, why must we talk business?

751
00:44:30,252 --> 00:44:33,050
If you win the suit, fine.
If we win the suit, better.

752
00:44:33,122 --> 00:44:34,953
You do me an injustice.

753
00:44:35,391 --> 00:44:38,326
Ninotchka, when we first went
to my apartment...

754
00:44:38,394 --> 00:44:41,659
did I have the slightest idea
that you were connected with this deal?

755
00:44:41,731 --> 00:44:42,789
You know now.

756
00:44:42,865 --> 00:44:45,527
I know now that you're a man
who employs business methods...

757
00:44:45,601 --> 00:44:48,126
which in Russia
would be punished by death.

758
00:44:48,871 --> 00:44:51,465
Death, always so glum.

759
00:44:52,875 --> 00:44:56,367
What about life, Ninotchka?
Do Russians never think about life?

760
00:44:56,445 --> 00:45:00,279
Of the moment in which we are living?
The only moment we ever really have.

761
00:45:01,183 --> 00:45:04,448
Don't take things so seriously.
Nothing's worth it, really.

762
00:45:05,087 --> 00:45:07,248
Please, relax.

763
00:45:07,723 --> 00:45:09,418
I beg you, Sergeant.

764
00:45:09,492 --> 00:45:11,517
- Smile.
- What?

765
00:45:12,194 --> 00:45:14,219
- Will you smile?
- Why?

766
00:45:15,197 --> 00:45:17,324
- Well, just smile.
- At what?

767
00:45:17,666 --> 00:45:19,031
At anything.

768
00:45:19,101 --> 00:45:23,595
At the whole ridiculous spectacle of life,
at people being so serious...

769
00:45:23,939 --> 00:45:27,602
taking themselves pompously,
exaggerating their own importance.

770
00:45:27,676 --> 00:45:30,668
If you can't think of anything to laugh at,
you can laugh at us.

771
00:45:30,746 --> 00:45:32,907
- Why?
- Because we're an odd couple.

772
00:45:32,982 --> 00:45:35,075
Then you should go back to your table.

773
00:45:35,918 --> 00:45:37,943
No, I can't leave you. I won't, not yet.

774
00:45:38,020 --> 00:45:39,988
Not until I've made you laugh
at least once.

775
00:45:41,257 --> 00:45:43,316
Now go back to your table.

776
00:45:43,626 --> 00:45:45,218
That's not a laugh.

777
00:45:45,294 --> 00:45:47,228
I mean a laugh from the heart.

778
00:45:47,730 --> 00:45:48,788
I know.

779
00:45:48,998 --> 00:45:50,556
I'm going to tell you a funny story.

780
00:45:50,633 --> 00:45:52,464
Wait a minute, let me think of one.

781
00:45:53,068 --> 00:45:54,433
I've got it.

782
00:45:55,137 --> 00:45:57,970
It seems that there were two Frenchmen
who went to America...

783
00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:59,564
On which boat?

784
00:46:02,311 --> 00:46:03,539
Let's drop it.

785
00:46:03,746 --> 00:46:06,214
I don't think you'd care very much
for that one anyway.

786
00:46:06,282 --> 00:46:07,510
Probably not.

787
00:46:09,518 --> 00:46:11,281
Here's a great one.

788
00:46:16,759 --> 00:46:19,125
Maybe it's not so good. Let's forget it.

789
00:46:20,729 --> 00:46:23,027
- Do you like Scotch stories?
- Never heard one.

790
00:46:23,098 --> 00:46:24,463
Well, here.

791
00:46:24,633 --> 00:46:26,863
Two Scotchmen met on the street.

792
00:46:26,936 --> 00:46:29,131
And I don't know the name of the street.

793
00:46:29,205 --> 00:46:30,866
It doesn't matter anyway.

794
00:46:30,940 --> 00:46:34,068
One's name was McGillicuddy
and the other one's name was Mclntosh.

795
00:46:34,143 --> 00:46:37,010
McGillicuddy said to Mclntosh,
"Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy."

796
00:46:37,079 --> 00:46:39,479
And McGillicuddy...
Mclntosh said to McGillicuddy:

797
00:46:39,548 --> 00:46:40,913
"Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy."

798
00:46:40,983 --> 00:46:43,747
Then McGillicuddy said to Mclntosh,
"How is Mrs. Mclntosh?"

799
00:46:43,819 --> 00:46:46,686
And Mclntosh said to McGillicuddy,
"How is Mrs. McGillicuddy?"

800
00:46:46,755 --> 00:46:48,382
I wish they'd never met.

801
00:46:49,959 --> 00:46:51,221
So do I.

802
00:46:53,095 --> 00:46:54,687
How is this one?

803
00:46:55,164 --> 00:46:58,565
Two men are looking at the moon.
One of them says to the other:

804
00:46:58,634 --> 00:47:01,159
"Is it true that a lot of people
live on the moon?"

805
00:47:01,237 --> 00:47:03,865
The other one says,
"Sure it's true, about 500 million."

806
00:47:03,939 --> 00:47:05,839
Then the first one says:

807
00:47:06,842 --> 00:47:10,073
"They must be pretty crowded
when it's half-moon."

808
00:47:16,652 --> 00:47:18,916
- So you don't think that's funny?
- No.

809
00:47:19,755 --> 00:47:22,280
It seemed funny to me
when I first heard it.

810
00:47:22,758 --> 00:47:25,556
Maybe the trouble isn't with the joke.
Maybe it's with you.

811
00:47:25,628 --> 00:47:26,993
I don't think so.

812
00:47:28,130 --> 00:47:30,064
I'll give you one more chance.

813
00:47:30,833 --> 00:47:31,891
Here goes.

814
00:47:31,967 --> 00:47:34,595
When I first heard this joke,
I laughed myself sick.

815
00:47:37,039 --> 00:47:38,165
Here goes.

816
00:47:38,240 --> 00:47:40,470
A man comes into a restaurant.

817
00:47:40,542 --> 00:47:42,737
He sits down at the table
and he says, "Waiter...

818
00:47:42,811 --> 00:47:44,779
"bring me a cup of coffee without cream."

819
00:47:44,847 --> 00:47:47,179
Five minutes later
the waiter comes back and says...

820
00:47:47,249 --> 00:47:50,616
"I'm sorry, sir. We have no cream.
Can it be without milk?"

821
00:47:53,956 --> 00:47:55,719
It's good, isn't it?

822
00:47:59,728 --> 00:48:01,491
- Not funny?
- No.

823
00:48:01,764 --> 00:48:04,562
Well, it is funny!
Everybody else thought it was funny!

824
00:48:05,401 --> 00:48:07,130
Maybe you didn't get the point.

825
00:48:07,803 --> 00:48:09,293
I'll tell it to you again.

826
00:48:09,371 --> 00:48:11,601
A man comes into a restaurant.

827
00:48:11,807 --> 00:48:13,035
- Did you get that?
- Yes.

828
00:48:13,108 --> 00:48:14,097
All right.

829
00:48:14,176 --> 00:48:17,634
He sits down at the table and he says
to the waiter... Did you get that?

830
00:48:17,713 --> 00:48:19,977
- Yes.
- It isn't funny so far, but wait a minute.

831
00:48:20,049 --> 00:48:22,745
He says to the waiter,
"Waiter, bring me a cup of coffee."

832
00:48:22,818 --> 00:48:24,843
Five minutes later,
the waiter comes and says:

833
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:26,785
"I'm sorry, sir, we're all out of coffee."

834
00:48:26,855 --> 00:48:28,618
No, you've got me all mixed up now.

835
00:48:28,691 --> 00:48:32,127
Sits down at the table, says,
"Bring me a cup of coffee." That's it.

836
00:48:32,194 --> 00:48:34,424
He says,
"Bring me a cup of coffee without cream."

837
00:48:34,496 --> 00:48:36,794
Five minutes later,
the waiter comes back and says:

838
00:48:36,865 --> 00:48:40,426
"I'm sorry, sir. We have no cream.
Can it be a glass of milk?"

839
00:48:40,502 --> 00:48:42,595
You have no sense of humor!

840
00:48:43,572 --> 00:48:45,005
None whatsoever.

841
00:48:45,074 --> 00:48:47,804
Not a grain of humor in you.
There's not a laugh in you.

842
00:48:47,876 --> 00:48:50,344
Everybody else laughs at it, but not you.

843
00:49:01,623 --> 00:49:03,386
What's so funny about this?

844
00:49:39,885 --> 00:49:43,184
In addition to the arguments above
enumerated for lifting this injunction...

845
00:49:43,255 --> 00:49:47,055
we wish to cite the decision of the
High Court of Paris rendered in the case...

846
00:49:47,126 --> 00:49:50,118
of Princess Marishka against
the Government of Montenegro...

847
00:49:50,196 --> 00:49:51,686
on the fifth day of August, 1897.

848
00:49:51,764 --> 00:49:54,824
Comparing the facts in that case
with our present set of facts...

849
00:49:54,900 --> 00:49:58,893
we feel that the treaty between
the Republic of France and the USSR...

850
00:50:05,678 --> 00:50:07,441
I'm sorry, gentlemen.

851
00:50:07,513 --> 00:50:11,882
The other day I heard such a funny story,
it still makes me laugh.

852
00:50:12,017 --> 00:50:13,644
It's very funny.

853
00:50:14,587 --> 00:50:17,317
Yes, about this injunction.

854
00:50:17,456 --> 00:50:19,924
The hearing is set
for the twentieth of this month.

855
00:50:19,992 --> 00:50:22,017
That's two weeks from Thursday.

856
00:50:22,094 --> 00:50:23,994
We did our utmost to have it set ahead.

857
00:50:24,063 --> 00:50:25,655
I know, gentlemen.

858
00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:28,894
It's in the hands of the court.
We're helpless, aren't we?

859
00:50:28,968 --> 00:50:30,868
Yes, it is unfortunate.

860
00:50:31,337 --> 00:50:33,999
There's nothing we can do.
Why get excited?

861
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:38,032
We'll leave these papers with you
for your further consideration.

862
00:50:38,110 --> 00:50:40,044
- Au revoir, madame.
- Au revoir.

863
00:50:42,014 --> 00:50:44,574
Well, that means
another two weeks in Paris.

864
00:50:44,650 --> 00:50:46,914
Too bad we have to waste all that time.

865
00:50:46,986 --> 00:50:48,248
I acted on your suggestion...

866
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:50,845
and got in touch
with the power and light authorities.

867
00:50:50,923 --> 00:50:53,915
Whenever you want to visit their plants,
they are open to you.

868
00:50:53,993 --> 00:50:56,791
Yes, power and light. Thank you.

869
00:50:56,862 --> 00:50:59,524
There is something else
which I know will appeal to you.

870
00:50:59,598 --> 00:51:01,566
A visit to the Paris sewers.

871
00:51:01,634 --> 00:51:04,034
They tell me it's extremely instructive.

872
00:51:05,037 --> 00:51:07,267
Why don't you get a haircut, Buljanoff?

873
00:51:07,339 --> 00:51:09,569
You all look so wintry, comrades.

874
00:51:09,642 --> 00:51:12,076
And why do we always keep
the windows closed?

875
00:51:17,817 --> 00:51:19,444
Isn't that amazing?

876
00:51:19,518 --> 00:51:23,579
At home, there is still snow and ice,
and here, look at the birds.

877
00:51:25,858 --> 00:51:28,622
I always felt a little hurt
when our swallows deserted us...

878
00:51:28,694 --> 00:51:31,162
in the winter for capitalistic countries.

879
00:51:31,997 --> 00:51:33,521
Now I know why.

880
00:51:33,866 --> 00:51:35,857
We have the high ideal...

881
00:51:36,335 --> 00:51:38,360
but they have the climate.

882
00:51:39,605 --> 00:51:41,596
Comrades, I don't think
I need you anymore.

883
00:51:41,674 --> 00:51:44,268
- Is there anything we can do for you?
- Not a thing.

884
00:51:44,343 --> 00:51:46,174
Would you like to go out?

885
00:51:46,245 --> 00:51:48,304
- Yes, sure.
- Have you any money?

886
00:51:54,854 --> 00:51:57,379
- Here are 50 francs.
- Thank you.

887
00:51:57,656 --> 00:51:59,283
Bring me back 45.

888
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:02,884
Yes, of course.

889
00:52:03,329 --> 00:52:05,524
- Yes, that's fine.
- Goodbye, comrade.

890
00:53:12,631 --> 00:53:15,725
- Have you the time, Gaston?
- It's 8:42, sir.

891
00:53:16,135 --> 00:53:17,830
I guess it must be 8:42.

892
00:53:18,137 --> 00:53:20,867
- You seem to be a bit nervous, sir.
- I am, Gaston.

893
00:53:20,940 --> 00:53:24,603
If you'll forgive me, sir,
ever since you met that Bolshevik lady...

894
00:53:24,677 --> 00:53:27,202
I've noticed a distinct change in you, sir.

895
00:53:27,279 --> 00:53:29,179
- Have you, Gaston?
- Decidedly.

896
00:53:30,349 --> 00:53:33,250
Yesterday I was greatly amazed
when I came from the market...

897
00:53:33,319 --> 00:53:35,446
and found you'd made your bed, sir.

898
00:53:35,521 --> 00:53:37,648
Yes, I felt better for it all day long.

899
00:53:37,723 --> 00:53:39,918
I felt as if I'd contributed something.

900
00:53:39,992 --> 00:53:42,153
May I add, sir,
it was with great amazement...

901
00:53:42,227 --> 00:53:45,788
that I found a copy of Karl Marx's
Capital on your night table, sir.

902
00:53:45,864 --> 00:53:50,028
That is a socialistic volume,
which I refuse to so much as dust, sir.

903
00:53:50,402 --> 00:53:53,769
I view with alarm the influence over you
of this Bolshevik lady.

904
00:53:53,839 --> 00:53:55,932
But I don't follow you, Gaston.

905
00:53:56,008 --> 00:53:59,535
Isn't it about time that you realized
the unfairness of your position?

906
00:53:59,612 --> 00:54:00,874
Your being my servant...

907
00:54:00,946 --> 00:54:03,414
wouldn't you like to stand
on an equal footing with me?

908
00:54:03,482 --> 00:54:04,506
No, sir.

909
00:54:04,583 --> 00:54:06,676
Good heavens,
isn't there any revolt in you?

910
00:54:06,752 --> 00:54:10,017
When I order you around,
don't you feel like kicking me in the pants?

911
00:54:10,089 --> 00:54:11,283
No, sir.

912
00:54:11,357 --> 00:54:13,154
You're a reactionary.

913
00:54:13,258 --> 00:54:16,022
You can't tell me
that you don't look forward to the day...

914
00:54:16,095 --> 00:54:18,495
when you can come in here,
stand on your two feet...

915
00:54:18,564 --> 00:54:20,896
and say, "From now on,
it's share and share alike."

916
00:54:20,966 --> 00:54:24,402
Emphatically not, sir.
The prospect terrifies me.

917
00:54:24,503 --> 00:54:26,334
Now, don't misunderstand me, sir.

918
00:54:26,405 --> 00:54:29,203
I don't resent your not paying me
for the past two months...

919
00:54:29,274 --> 00:54:32,209
but the thought that I should split
my bank account with you...

920
00:54:32,277 --> 00:54:34,643
that you should take
half of my life's savings...

921
00:54:34,713 --> 00:54:36,908
that is really too much for me, sir.

922
00:54:38,951 --> 00:54:41,146
Go to bed, little father, go to bed.

923
00:55:01,340 --> 00:55:05,106
- I don't look too foolish?
- Foolish?

924
00:55:06,545 --> 00:55:10,106
If this dress were walking down
the boulevard all by itself...

925
00:55:10,182 --> 00:55:12,980
I'd follow it from one end of Paris
to the other.

926
00:55:13,052 --> 00:55:15,247
And when I caught up with it, I'd say:

927
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:18,153
"Wait a moment,
you charming little dress.

928
00:55:18,223 --> 00:55:22,284
"I want you to meet Ninotchka.
You two were meant for each other."

929
00:55:42,081 --> 00:55:43,810
Remember this room?

930
00:55:44,950 --> 00:55:47,111
I've never been here before.

931
00:55:47,419 --> 00:55:49,819
I wonder whom you're thinking of?

932
00:55:50,355 --> 00:55:53,119
I know. The girl with the map...

933
00:55:53,292 --> 00:55:57,729
always figuring out each step
and worrying about north and south.

934
00:55:58,664 --> 00:55:59,926
Today...

935
00:55:59,998 --> 00:56:01,556
Now, this might shock you.

936
00:56:01,633 --> 00:56:05,228
I walked up to a taxi,
I said, "883 du Bois"...

937
00:56:05,304 --> 00:56:06,669
and here I am.

938
00:56:06,739 --> 00:56:09,173
You see? Life can be so simple.

939
00:56:09,241 --> 00:56:12,938
- For 12 francs 75.
- 12.75? From the Clarence?

940
00:56:13,011 --> 00:56:14,979
The son of a gun made a detour.

941
00:56:17,015 --> 00:56:18,607
But he got you here.

942
00:56:25,290 --> 00:56:26,621
It's 9:00.

943
00:56:28,927 --> 00:56:31,657
That's when one half of Paris
says to the other half:

944
00:56:31,730 --> 00:56:34,028
"What are you plans
for this evening, madame? '

945
00:56:34,633 --> 00:56:37,329
First, I would like to take off my hat.

946
00:56:37,703 --> 00:56:40,001
Then, could we have some music?

947
00:56:40,339 --> 00:56:41,966
A wonderful idea.

948
00:56:43,675 --> 00:56:45,870
- Radio or records?
- Not radio.

949
00:56:45,944 --> 00:56:48,504
Let's have music that's just for ourselves.

950
00:56:51,850 --> 00:56:53,613
I'll play it very softly...

951
00:56:53,685 --> 00:56:56,085
because I have things to tell you about,
which I can't shout.

952
00:57:04,630 --> 00:57:06,120
Darling, I...

953
00:57:12,404 --> 00:57:14,702
You see, I couldn't shout that.

954
00:57:15,741 --> 00:57:17,038
Oh, Leon.

955
00:57:18,310 --> 00:57:21,837
Leon, you know the jokes
you told me a few days ago?

956
00:57:22,748 --> 00:57:25,842
I wake up in the middle of the night
and laugh at them.

957
00:57:26,485 --> 00:57:28,385
You know, that's wrong.

958
00:57:28,687 --> 00:57:30,314
They aren't funny.

959
00:57:30,689 --> 00:57:32,919
They're silly, they're stupid.

960
00:57:33,525 --> 00:57:35,356
And still I laugh at them.

961
00:57:35,928 --> 00:57:39,625
And when I look at Buljanoff
and Iranoff and Kopalski...

962
00:57:39,698 --> 00:57:42,861
I know they're scoundrels
and I should hate them.

963
00:57:44,136 --> 00:57:46,866
Then I realize who made them like that.

964
00:57:47,239 --> 00:57:50,140
And instead of sending my report
to Moscow...

965
00:57:50,209 --> 00:57:52,700
I go down and buy a ridiculous hat.

966
00:57:53,645 --> 00:57:55,408
And if this keeps on...

967
00:57:56,348 --> 00:57:58,680
- Am I too talkative?
- No, go on.

968
00:57:59,451 --> 00:58:04,411
And Leon, I want to tell you something
which I thought I would never say...

969
00:58:05,457 --> 00:58:10,394
which I thought nobody ever should say,
because I didn't think it exists.

970
00:58:14,199 --> 00:58:17,396
And, Leon, I can't say it.

971
00:58:54,206 --> 00:58:56,470
What a gesture for a sergeant.

972
00:58:58,644 --> 00:59:01,477
- Leon, may I ask you something?
- Anything.

973
00:59:01,546 --> 00:59:03,707
If you don't want to answer, you needn't.

974
00:59:03,782 --> 00:59:07,616
- But if you do, you must tell the truth.
- I promise.

975
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:10,514
Did you make any change in this room?

976
00:59:11,690 --> 00:59:13,317
I don't think so.

977
00:59:13,892 --> 00:59:17,851
When I was here before,
I noticed a photograph of a woman...

978
00:59:17,930 --> 00:59:20,455
on the desk in a wide silver frame.

979
00:59:20,999 --> 00:59:25,299
I thought, what a waste of silver.
That's all I was interested in then.

980
00:59:26,138 --> 00:59:29,767
Now, I would like to know.
What happened to the woman?

981
00:59:52,965 --> 00:59:54,626
The Grand Duchess?

982
00:59:56,301 --> 00:59:58,132
She's very attractive.

983
00:59:58,904 --> 01:00:00,838
She has great elegance.

984
01:00:02,307 --> 01:00:05,208
She's what you call a woman of the world,
isn't she?

985
01:00:05,277 --> 01:00:06,608
Ninotchka.

986
01:00:07,512 --> 01:00:08,911
I love you.

987
01:00:09,548 --> 01:00:11,641
I suppose she's very entertaining.

988
01:00:12,651 --> 01:00:16,018
It must be lots of fun to be with
a woman like that, so witty and...

989
01:00:16,088 --> 01:00:17,419
Ninotchka.

990
01:00:18,290 --> 01:00:19,848
You're jealous.

991
01:00:24,029 --> 01:00:27,658
Leon, don't ever ask me
for a picture of myself.

992
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:30,964
I couldn't bear the thought
of being shut up in a drawer.

993
01:00:31,036 --> 01:00:34,699
- I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand it.
- Oh, my darling.

994
01:00:50,022 --> 01:00:51,546
Cafe de Lutece.

995
01:00:51,990 --> 01:00:54,982
A table for tonight?
Certainly, Count d'AIgout.

996
01:00:55,260 --> 01:00:58,957
What time, may I ask?
After the opera, thank you very much.

997
01:01:03,001 --> 01:01:04,229
Good evening, Your Highness.

998
01:01:04,302 --> 01:01:06,862
Good evening. You seem
to be very crowded this evening.

999
01:01:06,938 --> 01:01:10,169
- Can you manage a table near the floor?
- Certainly, this way please.

1000
01:01:10,242 --> 01:01:13,075
- Count d'AIgout made the reservation.
- Count d'AIgout?

1001
01:01:13,145 --> 01:01:16,410
Yes. It is only a small table,
but we will put in some extra chairs.

1002
01:01:16,481 --> 01:01:17,607
No, that's another party.

1003
01:01:17,682 --> 01:01:20,048
Let's go to some other place.
It's so crowded here.

1004
01:01:20,118 --> 01:01:23,952
No. This is glory. At last I'm going
to have a look at that female Bolshevik.

1005
01:01:24,022 --> 01:01:25,250
Can we manage another table?

1006
01:01:25,323 --> 01:01:27,416
- Only one in the rear, I'm afraid.
- Perfect.

1007
01:01:27,492 --> 01:01:30,052
You mean Leon's bringing
the Bolshevik you told us about?

1008
01:01:30,128 --> 01:01:32,824
- Isn't it divine?
- I wouldn't have missed this for anything.

1009
01:01:32,898 --> 01:01:35,093
We must be very discreet.
If she sucks her soup...

1010
01:01:35,167 --> 01:01:37,260
or drinks out of her finger bowl,
don't laugh.

1011
01:01:37,335 --> 01:01:39,269
We mustn't embarrass poor little Leon.

1012
01:01:39,337 --> 01:01:42,636
He's gone through enough for my sake.
We mustn't add insult to injury.

1013
01:01:42,707 --> 01:01:45,005
Is this satisfactory, Your Highness?

1014
01:01:45,110 --> 01:01:47,806
- Is it to be dinner, Your Excellency?
- Later, perhaps.

1015
01:01:47,879 --> 01:01:50,439
- We'll just start with champagne.
- Champagne.

1016
01:01:50,515 --> 01:01:54,975
I'm only afraid the doorman may spoil
all our fun. If only he lets her in.

1017
01:01:55,053 --> 01:01:57,146
- Look, there's Leon.
- Where?

1018
01:02:10,869 --> 01:02:13,770
Good evening, Count d'AIgout.
If you please.

1019
01:02:16,608 --> 01:02:18,599
General, shall we dance?

1020
01:02:22,013 --> 01:02:23,446
- Is it dry?
- Yes, monsieur.

1021
01:02:23,515 --> 01:02:27,007
- Is that right, or do you prefer it sweet?
- I wouldn't know.

1022
01:02:27,519 --> 01:02:30,545
The closest I ever came
to champagne was in a newsreel.

1023
01:02:30,622 --> 01:02:33,352
The wife of some president
was throwing it at a battleship.

1024
01:02:33,425 --> 01:02:35,985
It's always good luck
to launch something with champagne.

1025
01:02:36,061 --> 01:02:38,154
A battleship or an evening.

1026
01:02:39,865 --> 01:02:43,426
It's funny to look back.
I was brought up on goat's milk.

1027
01:02:43,702 --> 01:02:47,570
I had a ration of vodka in the army,
and now champagne.

1028
01:02:48,607 --> 01:02:52,168
From goats to grapes.
That's drinking in the right direction.

1029
01:03:11,229 --> 01:03:12,594
It's good.

1030
01:03:23,808 --> 01:03:26,709
From what I've read,
I thought champagne was a strong drink.

1031
01:03:26,778 --> 01:03:28,268
It's delicate.

1032
01:03:28,613 --> 01:03:30,911
Does anyone ever get drunk on this?

1033
01:03:31,750 --> 01:03:34,480
Well, there have been cases.
But the headache...

1034
01:03:34,553 --> 01:03:38,717
the next morning is worthwhile
if you drink it with the right toast.

1035
01:03:39,925 --> 01:03:41,586
To us, Ninotchka.

1036
01:03:48,934 --> 01:03:50,663
Thank you, General.

1037
01:03:53,705 --> 01:03:56,674
Hello, Leon! How are you, my dear?

1038
01:03:56,741 --> 01:03:59,141
- Hello, Swana. Good evening, General.
- How do you do?

1039
01:03:59,211 --> 01:04:01,679
You're looking magnificent tonight.
Isn't he, General?

1040
01:04:01,746 --> 01:04:03,839
- Thank you.
- Is this your new dress suit?

1041
01:04:03,915 --> 01:04:06,349
I told you Benson and Benson
were the tailors for you.

1042
01:04:06,418 --> 01:04:08,147
- Yes, you did.
- It's a dream of beauty.

1043
01:04:08,220 --> 01:04:09,687
Never takes my word for anything.

1044
01:04:09,754 --> 01:04:11,415
- But I was right, wasn't I?
- Yes.

1045
01:04:11,489 --> 01:04:13,889
- Am I interrupting?
- No, not at all.

1046
01:04:13,959 --> 01:04:16,189
Your Highness,
may I present Comrade Yakushova?

1047
01:04:16,261 --> 01:04:17,455
How do you do?

1048
01:04:17,529 --> 01:04:19,394
- General Savitzky.
- How do you do?

1049
01:04:19,464 --> 01:04:22,922
I've some wonderful news about Punchy.
Do you mind if I sit down?

1050
01:04:23,001 --> 01:04:24,127
No, please.

1051
01:04:24,202 --> 01:04:26,227
Would you mind making my excuses
at our table?

1052
01:04:26,304 --> 01:04:29,205
- Certainly.
- Will you say I'll be back soon?

1053
01:04:30,008 --> 01:04:33,409
We can be proud of our Punchy.
He had a triumph at the dog show.

1054
01:04:33,478 --> 01:04:36,208
He won another blue ribbon
and bit the judge.

1055
01:04:36,281 --> 01:04:38,909
I bought him the loveliest little sweater
as a reward.

1056
01:04:38,984 --> 01:04:42,545
You should see him strutting in it.
He looks like a little boulevardier.

1057
01:04:42,621 --> 01:04:44,987
Count d'AIgout gave me
Punchy for my birthday.

1058
01:04:45,056 --> 01:04:48,822
You must've searched for weeks before
you found anything as divine as Punchy...

1059
01:04:48,893 --> 01:04:50,918
- didn't you, Leon?
- Months, Swana.

1060
01:04:50,996 --> 01:04:53,556
Poor Madame Yakushova.
Here we are talking in mysteries.

1061
01:04:53,632 --> 01:04:56,100
- I'm sure you wonder what it's all about.
- Not at all.

1062
01:04:56,167 --> 01:04:59,534
I understand perfectly.
Count d'AIgout gave you a dog.

1063
01:04:59,604 --> 01:05:01,765
You made it very clear, madame.

1064
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:04,638
Oh, dear me. I must be losing my finesse.

1065
01:05:05,110 --> 01:05:08,011
If I'm not careful,
I'll be understood by everybody.

1066
01:05:08,446 --> 01:05:11,279
- Charming crowd here tonight, isn't it?
- I'm going, Leon.

1067
01:05:11,349 --> 01:05:15,285
But before I go, I must compliment you
on your gown, Madame Yakushova.

1068
01:05:15,353 --> 01:05:17,548
Is that what they're wearing
in Moscow this year?

1069
01:05:17,622 --> 01:05:19,647
No, last year, madame.

1070
01:05:19,724 --> 01:05:23,421
Isn't it amazing? One gets
the wrong impression of the new Russia.

1071
01:05:23,495 --> 01:05:27,363
It must be charming. I'm delighted
conditions have improved so.

1072
01:05:27,432 --> 01:05:30,492
I assume this is what the factory workers
wear at their dances?

1073
01:05:30,568 --> 01:05:34,470
Exactly. It would have been
very embarrassing for people of my sort...

1074
01:05:34,539 --> 01:05:37,235
to wear low-cut gowns in the old Russia.

1075
01:05:37,509 --> 01:05:40,967
The lashes of the Cossacks
across our backs were not very becoming.

1076
01:05:41,046 --> 01:05:43,139
And you know how vain women are.

1077
01:05:43,214 --> 01:05:45,341
Yes, you're quite right about the Cossacks.

1078
01:05:45,417 --> 01:05:48,011
We made a great mistake
when we let them use their whips.

1079
01:05:48,086 --> 01:05:49,519
They had such reliable guns.

1080
01:05:49,587 --> 01:05:52,522
Will you do me a favor?
Let's not talk about the good old days.

1081
01:05:52,590 --> 01:05:54,217
Yes, it's a very wise suggestion.

1082
01:05:54,292 --> 01:05:56,123
I'm afraid madame and I will never agree.

1083
01:05:56,194 --> 01:05:58,492
The only thing we have
in common is our lawsuit...

1084
01:05:58,563 --> 01:06:00,793
and that will be settled next week.

1085
01:06:00,865 --> 01:06:04,028
I understand everything
will be over by Thursday.

1086
01:06:04,803 --> 01:06:06,236
Am I right?

1087
01:06:06,471 --> 01:06:08,632
Yes. You're right, madame.

1088
01:06:09,307 --> 01:06:11,571
It'll all be over by Thursday.

1089
01:06:11,843 --> 01:06:14,505
It's too bad you have
so few more days here in Paris.

1090
01:06:14,579 --> 01:06:16,547
Leon, be sure and redouble your efforts...

1091
01:06:16,614 --> 01:06:20,482
so madame can take some pleasant
memories when she returns to Moscow.

1092
01:06:21,419 --> 01:06:23,353
- Good night, Leon.
- Good night, Swana.

1093
01:06:27,225 --> 01:06:29,955
Now I think I need a glass of champagne.

1094
01:06:50,148 --> 01:06:52,639
Quickly, please tell me
one of your funny stories.

1095
01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:54,116
A funny story?

1096
01:06:54,185 --> 01:06:58,246
You never finished the one
about the two Scotchmen with the names.

1097
01:07:00,759 --> 01:07:01,953
Please.

1098
01:07:04,129 --> 01:07:06,427
Well, there were two Scotchmen.

1099
01:07:07,365 --> 01:07:10,801
One's name was Mclntosh
and the other one was McGillicuddy.

1100
01:07:10,869 --> 01:07:12,769
They met on the street.

1101
01:07:14,539 --> 01:07:18,635
No, I'll tell you another story.
A much better one.

1102
01:07:20,111 --> 01:07:24,013
The only thing that'll be over
on Thursday will be the lawsuit.

1103
01:07:24,849 --> 01:07:28,580
There will be no Thursday for us.
Next week or any other week.

1104
01:07:28,653 --> 01:07:32,180
I won't let it happen.
I'll tear it out of the calendar.

1105
01:07:33,825 --> 01:07:35,793
Isn't that a good story?

1106
01:07:37,061 --> 01:07:40,189
Wonderful, if one could believe it.

1107
01:07:41,533 --> 01:07:43,194
You must, darling.

1108
01:07:48,206 --> 01:07:51,073
To the loveliest story I ever heard.

1109
01:08:03,721 --> 01:08:05,120
Let's dance.

1110
01:08:18,837 --> 01:08:21,533
Leon, something is the matter.

1111
01:08:21,606 --> 01:08:25,372
You just made that trip
from goats to grapes a little too quickly.

1112
01:08:25,443 --> 01:08:29,846
Everything is so wonderful.
It's getting farther and farther away.

1113
01:08:29,914 --> 01:08:31,814
- What, darling?
- Thursday.

1114
01:08:31,883 --> 01:08:35,250
Yes, don't worry,
everything's going to be all right.

1115
01:08:38,423 --> 01:08:40,414
Comrades!

1116
01:08:40,492 --> 01:08:42,255
Darling, please.

1117
01:08:42,327 --> 01:08:44,454
I want to talk to my brothers.

1118
01:08:44,629 --> 01:08:48,429
Don't shush me, please. I am the people.
I want to hold a speech.

1119
01:08:48,500 --> 01:08:51,560
- I want to overthrow the Grand Duchess.
- You can't do that.

1120
01:08:51,636 --> 01:08:54,867
Oh, comrades! The good people of France!

1121
01:08:54,939 --> 01:08:58,670
- Now, Ninotchka.
- But they're all grand duchesses here.

1122
01:08:58,743 --> 01:09:02,144
I ordered out thousands of
grand duchesses and I want to tell them.

1123
01:09:02,213 --> 01:09:05,910
Yes, dear, you're quite right. But first,
you're going through that door.

1124
01:09:05,984 --> 01:09:08,782
You're going to lie down
and take some spirits of ammonia.

1125
01:09:08,853 --> 01:09:10,787
- No speech?
- No speech.

1126
01:09:11,523 --> 01:09:13,423
I love you, my little Leonitchka.

1127
01:09:13,491 --> 01:09:16,289
And I adore you, Ninotchka.
Go ahead, now.

1128
01:09:19,564 --> 01:09:22,556
- No speech?
- No. For heaven's sake, no speech.

1129
01:09:28,973 --> 01:09:31,305
- Give me a double brandy.
- Yes, sir.

1130
01:09:50,028 --> 01:09:53,794
I'm sorry, Count, it is most embarrassing,
but the lady you brought with you...

1131
01:09:53,865 --> 01:09:56,356
is spreading communistic propaganda
in the powder room.

1132
01:09:56,434 --> 01:09:58,959
What? Give me another double brandy.

1133
01:09:59,170 --> 01:10:02,537
That kind of propaganda is bad anywhere,
but inciting the attendants...

1134
01:10:02,607 --> 01:10:04,234
of the powder room to go on strike?

1135
01:10:04,309 --> 01:10:06,971
If she succeeds,
the consequences will be disastrous.

1136
01:10:07,045 --> 01:10:08,307
What can I do about it?

1137
01:10:08,379 --> 01:10:11,405
She has been asked to leave
the powder room, but without success.

1138
01:10:11,482 --> 01:10:15,316
We would appreciate it very much
if you would see to it yourself.

1139
01:10:15,420 --> 01:10:19,379
- You want me to go in there?
- I'm sorry, sir, but I must insist.

1140
01:10:48,086 --> 01:10:50,577
- Make it a triple brandy.
- Yes, sir.

1141
01:10:56,427 --> 01:10:59,453
All right, tell the Grand Duchess.
Tell everybody.

1142
01:10:59,897 --> 01:11:03,663
They know it anyway.
It doesn't make any difference. Get out.

1143
01:11:04,035 --> 01:11:07,994
- Don't tell them where we're going.
- No, darling, nobody will find us.

1144
01:11:08,406 --> 01:11:12,069
- Are we going to build our little house?
- Yes, a little white house.

1145
01:11:12,143 --> 01:11:15,476
- No, not white.
- All right, we'll make it red.

1146
01:11:15,813 --> 01:11:19,874
No, let's not have any color. No color.
Just a "house" house.

1147
01:11:20,852 --> 01:11:23,582
- Let's form our own party.
- Right.

1148
01:11:23,655 --> 01:11:25,680
Lovers of the world, unite.

1149
01:11:25,757 --> 01:11:28,590
- And we won't stretch up our arms.
- No!

1150
01:11:28,926 --> 01:11:31,156
- And we won't clench our fists.
- No.

1151
01:11:31,229 --> 01:11:34,426
- Our salute will be a kiss.
- Yes.

1152
01:11:35,066 --> 01:11:37,330
A kiss. Salute.

1153
01:11:41,506 --> 01:11:44,475
I am so happy.

1154
01:11:46,277 --> 01:11:49,405
No one can be so happy
without being punished.

1155
01:11:49,480 --> 01:11:52,574
I will be punished,
and I should be punished.

1156
01:11:53,484 --> 01:11:57,352
- Leon, I want to confess.
- I know. It's the Russian soul.

1157
01:11:57,422 --> 01:11:59,413
Well, everyone wants to confess.

1158
01:11:59,490 --> 01:12:02,857
And if they don't confess,
they make them confess.

1159
01:12:03,394 --> 01:12:05,055
I am a traitor.

1160
01:12:05,496 --> 01:12:08,590
When I kissed you,
I betrayed a Russian ideal.

1161
01:12:09,534 --> 01:12:11,968
I should be stood up against the wall.

1162
01:12:12,036 --> 01:12:15,233
- Would that make you any happier?
- Much happier.

1163
01:12:16,574 --> 01:12:17,939
All right.

1164
01:12:55,179 --> 01:12:58,979
I've paid the penalty.
Now, let's have some music.

1165
01:12:59,383 --> 01:13:02,682
- Yes, let's turn on the radio.
- Radio? What's radio?

1166
01:13:03,254 --> 01:13:06,155
Radio's a little box that you buy
on the installment plan...

1167
01:13:06,224 --> 01:13:09,887
and before you tune it in,
they tell you there's a new model out.

1168
01:13:09,961 --> 01:13:14,728
Yes, I know where that is.
There's one around here somewhere.

1169
01:13:15,366 --> 01:13:18,426
It has a little knob that you turn.

1170
01:13:18,503 --> 01:13:21,802
- A little knob, that's right.
- Yeah. Maybe it's in here.

1171
01:13:21,873 --> 01:13:24,706
- Just a little knob.
- It's a radio and has a knob.

1172
01:13:24,776 --> 01:13:28,974
Now, maybe it's in here.
Let's see. There it is.

1173
01:13:29,313 --> 01:13:32,043
- There's the knob.
- There's the knob.

1174
01:13:32,116 --> 01:13:34,243
Now, what shall we get, the news?

1175
01:13:34,352 --> 01:13:38,152
No news. We don't want to know
what's happening in the world.

1176
01:13:38,222 --> 01:13:40,520
We want to be left alone, don't we?

1177
01:13:40,591 --> 01:13:43,219
Yes, darling, all by ourselves.

1178
01:13:43,294 --> 01:13:47,560
Then turn to the left and stop at seven.

1179
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:52,561
Turn to the left and stop at seven.

1180
01:13:57,041 --> 01:14:00,135
- No music.
- No music.

1181
01:14:01,212 --> 01:14:03,612
There it is, Thursday.

1182
01:14:04,215 --> 01:14:06,615
You can't rip it out of the week.

1183
01:14:09,921 --> 01:14:11,479
There they are.

1184
01:14:11,856 --> 01:14:16,452
- They're terrible things, those jewels.
- But big.

1185
01:14:16,694 --> 01:14:19,094
They are the tears of Old Russia.

1186
01:14:20,131 --> 01:14:23,259
- See that stone?
- Who cried that one?

1187
01:14:23,501 --> 01:14:26,732
Czar Peter gave it to his wife,
Catherine the Great.

1188
01:14:27,271 --> 01:14:30,434
For it he sold 10,000 serfs in the market.

1189
01:14:30,508 --> 01:14:34,410
But, darling, don't get impatient.
Wait till we're married.

1190
01:14:34,712 --> 01:14:38,273
You know that worthless butler of mine,
that reactionary?

1191
01:14:38,883 --> 01:14:41,113
Some day I'll come home
to you and I'll say:

1192
01:14:41,185 --> 01:14:44,780
"Darling, I drove Gaston
to the market this morning...

1193
01:14:46,123 --> 01:14:48,455
"and look what I got for him."

1194
01:14:48,960 --> 01:14:51,520
Darling, come here.
Let me put this on you.

1195
01:14:51,596 --> 01:14:54,690
- No.
- Yes, you will teach these jewels.

1196
01:14:55,466 --> 01:14:58,867
For the first time,
they will learn how they can really look.

1197
01:14:58,936 --> 01:15:00,836
They belong to the people.

1198
01:15:00,905 --> 01:15:03,305
And I give them back to the people.

1199
01:15:03,941 --> 01:15:06,910
I make you Ninotchka the Great...

1200
01:15:07,645 --> 01:15:09,613
Duchess of the People...

1201
01:15:10,781 --> 01:15:12,942
Grand Duchess of the People.

1202
01:15:13,184 --> 01:15:17,245
- Is this the wish of the masses?
- It is their wish.

1203
01:15:17,722 --> 01:15:21,351
Thank you, Leon. Thank you, masses.

1204
01:15:22,360 --> 01:15:24,954
- Can I make a speech now?
- Please.

1205
01:15:26,130 --> 01:15:29,224
Comrades, people of the world.

1206
01:15:29,700 --> 01:15:33,136
The revolution is on the march. I know.

1207
01:15:33,638 --> 01:15:37,472
Bombs will fall, civilization will crumble...

1208
01:15:38,009 --> 01:15:40,409
but not yet, please.

1209
01:15:40,978 --> 01:15:43,139
Wait. What's the hurry?

1210
01:15:43,748 --> 01:15:46,808
Give us our moment. Let's be happy.

1211
01:15:48,786 --> 01:15:51,778
- We're happy, aren't we, Leon?
- Yes, darling.

1212
01:15:52,690 --> 01:15:56,456
So happy and so tired.

1213
01:16:58,789 --> 01:17:02,452
Smile, little father. Smile.

1214
01:17:25,516 --> 01:17:26,744
Come in.

1215
01:17:39,897 --> 01:17:42,525
- Good morning.
- What?

1216
01:17:43,300 --> 01:17:47,896
It's tomorrow morning. Tomorrow noon,
to be exact. I hope you'll forgive me.

1217
01:17:47,972 --> 01:17:51,772
I know it's extremely cruel
to awaken anyone at such an hour.

1218
01:17:52,877 --> 01:17:56,404
Don't you recognize me?
I'm the Grand Duchess Swana.

1219
01:17:58,516 --> 01:18:02,316
I know exactly how you feel, my dear.
The morning after always does look grim...

1220
01:18:02,386 --> 01:18:04,752
if you happen to be wearing
last night's dress.

1221
01:18:04,822 --> 01:18:06,813
Don't be embarrassed
by my presence, though.

1222
01:18:06,891 --> 01:18:09,985
You couldn't have found anyone
more sympathetic to your condition.

1223
01:18:10,061 --> 01:18:12,120
I think we can cut your visit short.

1224
01:18:12,196 --> 01:18:15,688
- Leon is not here.
- Of course not, my dear.

1225
01:18:15,766 --> 01:18:18,530
I didn't come here
with any such suspicion. How ridiculous.

1226
01:18:18,602 --> 01:18:21,070
Nor did I come here to pick up his hat.

1227
01:18:21,138 --> 01:18:24,232
What is it you people always say,
regardless of what you mean?

1228
01:18:24,308 --> 01:18:26,003
"I'm delighted to have you here."

1229
01:18:26,077 --> 01:18:29,945
I haven't reached that state of civilization,
therefore I must ask you to leave.

1230
01:18:30,014 --> 01:18:34,041
Leave? That's exactly what I came here
to ask you to do. Leave.

1231
01:18:34,118 --> 01:18:37,986
I don't mean this hotel,
and I don't mean Paris. I mean France.

1232
01:18:38,055 --> 01:18:39,989
There's a plane for Moscow at 5:40.

1233
01:18:40,057 --> 01:18:43,458
Do you still think you're issuing orders
from your palace in Petrograd?

1234
01:18:43,527 --> 01:18:45,461
My palace in Petrograd.

1235
01:18:46,130 --> 01:18:48,496
Yes, you took that away from me.

1236
01:18:48,766 --> 01:18:51,701
You took away my czar,
my country, my people.

1237
01:18:52,603 --> 01:18:56,004
Everything I had. But nothing more.

1238
01:18:56,540 --> 01:18:58,906
People cannot be taken away, madame...

1239
01:18:58,976 --> 01:19:01,638
neither 160 million nor one.

1240
01:19:02,346 --> 01:19:05,315
Not if you have their love. You hadn't.

1241
01:19:05,783 --> 01:19:08,115
That's why you're not in Russia
any longer...

1242
01:19:08,185 --> 01:19:10,710
and that's why you came here
this morning.

1243
01:19:10,788 --> 01:19:13,552
Problems were never solved
by bowing from a balcony.

1244
01:19:13,624 --> 01:19:16,422
My dear, you don't know how
impressive I could be.

1245
01:19:16,494 --> 01:19:20,760
Did you ever see me in my regalia
with my diadem and all my jewels?

1246
01:19:37,915 --> 01:19:39,314
Elysee 2763.

1247
01:19:41,418 --> 01:19:43,147
Believe me, Leon can't help you.

1248
01:19:43,220 --> 01:19:45,415
He doesn't know anything
about the jewels.

1249
01:19:45,489 --> 01:19:47,787
I give you my word. I swear it.

1250
01:19:48,993 --> 01:19:50,085
Where are they?

1251
01:19:50,161 --> 01:19:52,789
You were very careless
with our precious jewels, my dear.

1252
01:19:52,863 --> 01:19:55,525
They're too expensive a toy
for two children to play with.

1253
01:19:55,599 --> 01:19:56,725
Where are they?

1254
01:19:56,800 --> 01:20:00,065
Don't worry, last night a very trustworthy
friend kept his eyes open.

1255
01:20:00,137 --> 01:20:02,401
He may have overstepped
his function as a waiter...

1256
01:20:02,473 --> 01:20:05,169
but he fulfilled his duty as a Russian.

1257
01:20:05,676 --> 01:20:10,136
I just put this on for sentiment.
The rest are absolutely safe, I assure you.

1258
01:20:10,214 --> 01:20:13,615
- But if you feel like notifying the police...
- You leave me no choice.

1259
01:20:13,684 --> 01:20:16,050
Won't it be rather embarrassing
for a Soviet envoy...

1260
01:20:16,120 --> 01:20:18,748
to disclose the circumstances
under which she lost them?

1261
01:20:18,822 --> 01:20:21,154
I'll have to face the consequences,
but so will you.

1262
01:20:21,225 --> 01:20:23,318
Don't forget,
they'll ask you how you got them.

1263
01:20:23,394 --> 01:20:27,194
That's very simple to answer.
They were given to me by my mother.

1264
01:20:27,264 --> 01:20:29,129
They were given to her by her mother.

1265
01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:32,169
In fact, they're mine.
You can't steal what belongs to you.

1266
01:20:32,236 --> 01:20:34,101
They always belonged
to the Russian people.

1267
01:20:34,171 --> 01:20:37,766
They paid for them with their blood,
their lives, and you'll give them back.

1268
01:20:37,841 --> 01:20:41,436
I told you we had plenty to talk about.
Shall we sit down?

1269
01:20:41,512 --> 01:20:43,605
Let's free ourselves from emotionalism...

1270
01:20:43,681 --> 01:20:46,149
and try to solve the problem
in a practical way.

1271
01:20:46,217 --> 01:20:48,651
Our situation has considerably changed.

1272
01:20:48,719 --> 01:20:52,246
Before I had only a claim to the jewels.
Now I have the jewels.

1273
01:20:52,323 --> 01:20:55,417
In other words,
moral ideas have no weight with you.

1274
01:20:55,492 --> 01:20:58,086
All right, then let's deal with legal facts.
You know...

1275
01:20:58,162 --> 01:21:00,722
- France has recognized the Soviet.
- Unfortunately.

1276
01:21:00,798 --> 01:21:03,266
Under the Soviet law,
the jewels belong to the State.

1277
01:21:03,334 --> 01:21:06,997
- France is going to uphold that ownership.
- Yes, my lawyer agrees with you.

1278
01:21:07,071 --> 01:21:09,665
He says that France will uphold it
in every court...

1279
01:21:09,740 --> 01:21:13,437
but I will drag you through every court,
don't forget that.

1280
01:21:13,544 --> 01:21:15,910
And when I say it will take two years...

1281
01:21:15,980 --> 01:21:18,608
I am, as always, conservative.

1282
01:21:18,916 --> 01:21:21,248
Won't those two years in court
be expensive for you?

1283
01:21:21,318 --> 01:21:22,751
I know money was no object...

1284
01:21:22,820 --> 01:21:25,812
as long as you could squeeze it out of
the pockets of the people.

1285
01:21:25,889 --> 01:21:28,881
I may run out of money,
but you have already run out of bread.

1286
01:21:28,959 --> 01:21:32,224
Two years is a long time
for your comrades to wait.

1287
01:21:32,863 --> 01:21:36,424
I see. You've calculated it
in terms of hunger.

1288
01:21:36,900 --> 01:21:39,892
No, I just wanted
to be absolutely impartial.

1289
01:21:40,704 --> 01:21:44,003
Both of us are faced
with two rather uncomfortable years.

1290
01:21:44,074 --> 01:21:46,736
We can condense those two years
to two minutes...

1291
01:21:46,810 --> 01:21:49,802
- if you want to accept my proposition.
- Go on.

1292
01:21:51,081 --> 01:21:55,313
I am willing to hand over the jewels
and sign any necessary papers...

1293
01:21:55,619 --> 01:21:58,588
if you will take that 5:40 plane to Moscow.

1294
01:22:00,424 --> 01:22:04,224
That's not the way to win him back.
Not Leon.

1295
01:22:05,896 --> 01:22:09,855
I think I know Leon quite as well as you.
Perhaps a little better.

1296
01:22:09,933 --> 01:22:11,491
Leave that worry to me.

1297
01:22:11,568 --> 01:22:15,902
Now, 5:40 leaves you time enough
to close the deal with Monsieur Mercier...

1298
01:22:16,473 --> 01:22:18,771
but naturally you'II...

1299
01:22:19,376 --> 01:22:21,867
be too busy for any farewells.

1300
01:22:22,079 --> 01:22:25,981
I will see to it that everything is done
in the most expeditious manner.

1301
01:22:26,116 --> 01:22:28,812
And I will also see you to the airport.

1302
01:22:29,753 --> 01:22:32,483
That's my proposition,
Comrade Yakushova.

1303
01:22:51,475 --> 01:22:53,807
Yes? Hello.

1304
01:23:04,188 --> 01:23:05,553
Yes, Leon.

1305
01:23:06,890 --> 01:23:08,858
No, you didn't waken me.

1306
01:23:09,493 --> 01:23:11,256
I'm fine, thank you.

1307
01:23:13,630 --> 01:23:15,621
Yes, it was wonderful.

1308
01:23:18,168 --> 01:23:19,635
For luncheon?

1309
01:23:21,572 --> 01:23:25,338
I'm afraid I can't. I have lots of things
to attend to today, Leon.

1310
01:23:25,409 --> 01:23:27,138
I'm going to be very busy.

1311
01:23:28,812 --> 01:23:32,942
To tell you the truth,
I'm a little tired and I would like to rest.

1312
01:23:33,784 --> 01:23:35,513
Maybe you're right.

1313
01:23:35,853 --> 01:23:37,980
Perhaps it is the champagne.

1314
01:23:39,289 --> 01:23:40,688
For dinner?

1315
01:23:41,325 --> 01:23:44,522
Of course, 7:00 here.

1316
01:23:46,663 --> 01:23:48,688
7:00 will be all right.

1317
01:23:50,367 --> 01:23:52,858
Come in. Yes.

1318
01:23:54,805 --> 01:23:56,329
Just a moment.

1319
01:23:57,908 --> 01:24:00,103
- You can leave it here.
- Yes, madame.

1320
01:24:51,428 --> 01:24:54,329
Operator, will you switch the call, please?

1321
01:24:54,832 --> 01:24:57,824
Darling, your present just arrived.

1322
01:24:58,802 --> 01:25:02,829
It's very silly and very wonderful.

1323
01:25:05,042 --> 01:25:06,100
What?

1324
01:25:07,311 --> 01:25:09,905
I won't forget. 7:00.

1325
01:25:12,683 --> 01:25:14,583
Goodbye, darling.

1326
01:25:15,252 --> 01:25:16,514
What?

1327
01:25:20,190 --> 01:25:21,589
Salute.

1328
01:25:30,968 --> 01:25:34,062
- Good afternoon, Jacqueline.
- Good afternoon, Your Highness.

1329
01:25:34,137 --> 01:25:35,263
- Madame, I...
- Yes, I know.

1330
01:25:35,339 --> 01:25:38,308
You didn't find my other glove.
It's all right. You're forgiven.

1331
01:25:38,375 --> 01:25:40,070
Thank you, Your Highness.

1332
01:25:40,143 --> 01:25:42,873
Count d'AIgout is waiting.
He's been here for some time.

1333
01:25:42,946 --> 01:25:44,777
Count d'AIgout? Yes.

1334
01:25:50,087 --> 01:25:52,055
Leon, darling. How nice.

1335
01:25:52,122 --> 01:25:55,148
- Have you ordered tea or a cocktail?
- No, thanks, Swana.

1336
01:25:55,225 --> 01:25:58,092
Did I act stupidly last night?
Should I apologize?

1337
01:25:58,161 --> 01:26:02,029
No. I'm the one who should apologize.
I should have talked to you before.

1338
01:26:02,099 --> 01:26:04,590
Is this, by any chance,
going to be a confession?

1339
01:26:04,668 --> 01:26:07,136
- Yes.
- No, my little Volga boatman.

1340
01:26:07,204 --> 01:26:08,967
Have you forgotten
our First Commandment?

1341
01:26:09,039 --> 01:26:10,973
Never complain, never explain.

1342
01:26:11,041 --> 01:26:14,909
It's worked so often and so perfectly
in the past, let's not break the rule.

1343
01:26:14,978 --> 01:26:16,946
Please don't look so guilty. Otherwise, l...

1344
01:26:17,014 --> 01:26:20,450
Swana, just this once,
I must ask you to listen to me.

1345
01:26:21,585 --> 01:26:22,950
All right.

1346
01:26:25,589 --> 01:26:29,184
- I'm listening.
- I know you hate the obvious.

1347
01:26:29,693 --> 01:26:32,662
But do you mind if,
for the moment, I'm not the least subtle?

1348
01:26:32,729 --> 01:26:35,095
Brutal frankness, if you insist.

1349
01:26:35,666 --> 01:26:38,567
There are 100 ways of approaching it...

1350
01:26:38,635 --> 01:26:41,570
but I feel it can best be said
in one simple phrase.

1351
01:26:42,139 --> 01:26:43,629
I'm in love, Swana.

1352
01:26:44,074 --> 01:26:48,067
I thought it was something serious.
How could you frighten me so?

1353
01:26:48,145 --> 01:26:49,737
It must be serious.

1354
01:26:49,813 --> 01:26:53,010
Not so long ago I'd have considered
such a statement juvenile...

1355
01:26:53,083 --> 01:26:55,051
and rather middle-class.

1356
01:26:55,152 --> 01:26:58,451
Now I can say it without a stammer,
without a blush.

1357
01:26:59,756 --> 01:27:00,984
I'm in love, Swana.

1358
01:27:01,058 --> 01:27:04,289
But, Leon, this has the ugly
sound of regeneration.

1359
01:27:04,361 --> 01:27:07,694
- I'm afraid that's what it is, Swana.
- Always late.

1360
01:27:07,764 --> 01:27:10,494
Same old trouble, Leon.
Whether you take me to the opera...

1361
01:27:10,567 --> 01:27:13,058
or call for me at a beauty shop,
you're never on time.

1362
01:27:13,136 --> 01:27:18,005
Now, when it's a question of your reform,
late again by about five minutes.

1363
01:27:20,077 --> 01:27:22,409
- What is this, Swana?
- Knowing the efficiency...

1364
01:27:22,479 --> 01:27:25,209
of the French air service,
I think I can safely guarantee...

1365
01:27:25,282 --> 01:27:27,512
that Madame Yakushova
has taken off for Moscow.

1366
01:27:27,584 --> 01:27:29,984
- Has done what?
- She's gone, Leon.

1367
01:27:31,455 --> 01:27:35,255
- You don't expect me to believe that?
- There's the telephone.

1368
01:27:35,759 --> 01:27:39,559
If you call the hotel,
you'll find you have no 7:00 appointment.

1369
01:27:48,538 --> 01:27:52,269
Imagine. For once in our lives
we were in Paris...

1370
01:27:52,776 --> 01:27:56,473
- and we never went to the Eiffel Tower.
- That's right.

1371
01:27:56,847 --> 01:28:00,248
They tell me it has a wonderful restaurant
on the second floor.

1372
01:28:00,317 --> 01:28:03,309
Yes, it is an amazing piece
of engineering...

1373
01:28:03,387 --> 01:28:06,914
still the most remarkable
iron structure in the world.

1374
01:28:09,593 --> 01:28:11,584
Leading to the top...

1375
01:28:11,662 --> 01:28:15,689
there is a staircase of over 1,000 steps...

1376
01:28:16,933 --> 01:28:21,597
but there is an elevator included
in the price of admission.

1377
01:28:35,318 --> 01:28:38,583
Everything's in order,
I hope you will enjoy your trip to Russia.

1378
01:28:38,655 --> 01:28:41,453
Thank you. By the way,
I've heard so many rumors...

1379
01:28:41,525 --> 01:28:45,518
about laundry conditions in Russia.
Is it advisable to take one's own towels?

1380
01:28:45,595 --> 01:28:48,155
Certainly not.
That is only capitalistic propaganda.

1381
01:28:48,231 --> 01:28:51,132
- We change the towel every week.
- Thank you.

1382
01:28:52,836 --> 01:28:54,804
Hello. Comrade Cazabine?

1383
01:28:55,238 --> 01:28:58,435
No, I am sorry.
He hasn't been with us for six months.

1384
01:28:58,508 --> 01:29:00,738
He was called back to Russia
and was investigated.

1385
01:29:00,811 --> 01:29:04,542
You can get further details
from his widow. You're very welcome.

1386
01:29:05,282 --> 01:29:07,682
Pardon me. I was interested
in what you were saying.

1387
01:29:07,751 --> 01:29:11,084
When an envoy goes back to Russia
and they don't like what he's done...

1388
01:29:11,154 --> 01:29:12,416
they put him out of the way?

1389
01:29:12,489 --> 01:29:15,424
Not always.
Look at me. I've been back twice.

1390
01:29:16,159 --> 01:29:18,093
Here's my passport. Please give me a visa.

1391
01:29:18,161 --> 01:29:22,325
- I must leave for Russia immediately.
- Count Leon d'AIgout. A count.

1392
01:29:22,399 --> 01:29:24,697
- A nobleman.
- Don't hold that against me, please.

1393
01:29:24,768 --> 01:29:26,827
Why should an aristocrat
want to go to Russia?

1394
01:29:26,903 --> 01:29:28,700
- Business.
- What business?

1395
01:29:28,772 --> 01:29:31,570
- Private.
- There is no private business in Russia.

1396
01:29:31,641 --> 01:29:35,600
This whole thing seems very suspicious.
What is the real reason?

1397
01:29:35,846 --> 01:29:39,282
If you ever want to get into Russia,
take my advice. Confess.

1398
01:29:39,349 --> 01:29:41,681
Listen. I'll be absolutely frank with you.

1399
01:29:41,752 --> 01:29:44,585
- I have no business in Moscow.
- I think so, too.

1400
01:29:44,654 --> 01:29:47,054
I want to see a friend of mine,
a very dear friend.

1401
01:29:47,124 --> 01:29:50,958
It's a personal matter that has no relation
to social philosophies or politics.

1402
01:29:51,027 --> 01:29:54,292
- It's a girl.
- It is love which drags you to Moscow.

1403
01:29:54,364 --> 01:29:55,922
- Yes.
- No visa.

1404
01:29:56,266 --> 01:29:59,292
- But I must get into that country of yours.
- No visa.

1405
01:29:59,369 --> 01:30:02,668
But that's impossible. You can't do it!
You haven't the right to...

1406
01:30:02,739 --> 01:30:05,936
- Listen. If you don't give me that visa...
- You're going to force us?

1407
01:30:06,009 --> 01:30:09,206
You advertise all over the world
for people to go into your country...

1408
01:30:09,279 --> 01:30:11,247
and when somebody tries,
you won't let them!

1409
01:30:11,314 --> 01:30:12,975
- Why should I take a chance?
- On what?

1410
01:30:13,049 --> 01:30:15,279
How do I know you don't want
to blow up a factory?

1411
01:30:15,352 --> 01:30:17,513
- What for? Why?
- Or a tunnel, or a bridge?

1412
01:30:17,587 --> 01:30:20,215
Nothing but suspicions.
That's the trouble with you.

1413
01:30:20,290 --> 01:30:24,056
Listen, if you don't let me in,
I'll stand in front of this office of yours...

1414
01:30:24,127 --> 01:30:25,958
and warn people
to keep away from Russia.

1415
01:30:26,029 --> 01:30:30,295
I'll picket your whole country.
I'll boycott you, that's what I'll do.

1416
01:30:30,567 --> 01:30:34,799
No more vodka, no more caviar,
no more Tchaikovsky, no more borscht!

1417
01:30:35,172 --> 01:30:38,164
- Wait a minute. I've got a better idea.
- What?

1418
01:30:39,242 --> 01:30:41,733
You can tell the Kremlin
that's just the beginning!

1419
01:30:41,812 --> 01:30:42,779
No visa.

1420
01:30:44,748 --> 01:30:47,012
March!

1421
01:30:47,651 --> 01:30:49,141
Comrades of the world...

1422
01:30:49,219 --> 01:30:52,086
never has there been
such a May Day parade as this.

1423
01:31:37,167 --> 01:31:39,431
- Good afternoon, Anna.
- Good afternoon.

1424
01:31:39,502 --> 01:31:40,696
Aren't you late?

1425
01:31:40,770 --> 01:31:44,171
No. The opera starts an hour later tonight
on account of the parade.

1426
01:31:44,241 --> 01:31:48,041
- Didn't you march today?
- They didn't let me. I'm in disgrace.

1427
01:31:48,111 --> 01:31:51,376
Last week, at the performance
of Carmen, I played a sour note.

1428
01:31:51,448 --> 01:31:53,507
The conductor got so excited, he yelled:

1429
01:31:53,583 --> 01:31:56,416
"There is sabotage in the string section!"

1430
01:31:57,787 --> 01:32:00,517
Too bad, Anna.
You missed an inspiring day.

1431
01:32:00,590 --> 01:32:03,855
Yes, I know. Are you expecting someone?

1432
01:32:03,927 --> 01:32:07,795
- A few friends. Just a small dinner party.
- And what are you serving?

1433
01:32:07,864 --> 01:32:10,196
- An omelet.
- An omelet?

1434
01:32:10,734 --> 01:32:13,066
Aren't you living a little above your ration?

1435
01:32:13,136 --> 01:32:14,603
I saved two eggs...

1436
01:32:14,671 --> 01:32:17,469
and each of my friends is bringing his own.
We'll manage.

1437
01:32:17,540 --> 01:32:19,872
Just goes to prove the theory of our State.

1438
01:32:19,943 --> 01:32:22,343
If you stand alone, it means a boiled egg...

1439
01:32:22,412 --> 01:32:26,849
but if you're true to the collective spirit
and stick together, you've got an omelet.

1440
01:32:26,917 --> 01:32:30,717
That reminds me. Have you heard the
latest they're telling about the Kremlin?

1441
01:32:30,787 --> 01:32:33,415
Well, one man... I'll tell you later.

1442
01:32:45,669 --> 01:32:46,761
That Gurganov.

1443
01:32:46,836 --> 01:32:50,533
You never know whether he's on his way
to the washroom, or the Secret Police.

1444
01:32:50,607 --> 01:32:53,235
- You should be more careful.
- And you, too, Ninotchka.

1445
01:32:53,310 --> 01:32:56,609
- About what?
- Ever since you've been back from Paris...

1446
01:32:56,680 --> 01:32:59,877
I haven't talked to anyone about Paris.
I haven't said a word.

1447
01:32:59,950 --> 01:33:02,578
That's just it. It makes people feel queer.

1448
01:33:02,652 --> 01:33:04,711
And I don't want you to get in any trouble.

1449
01:33:04,788 --> 01:33:08,087
- I have nothing to hide.
- You should. I'll show you.

1450
01:33:09,392 --> 01:33:11,690
When I passed through
the laundry yard today...

1451
01:33:11,761 --> 01:33:15,720
I saw all the women huddled around this,
so I brought it up here.

1452
01:33:15,799 --> 01:33:19,895
Things like this create a bad feeling.
First they didn't know whose it was...

1453
01:33:19,970 --> 01:33:23,030
and then they saw the Paris label
and did it start a commotion.

1454
01:33:23,106 --> 01:33:25,506
Some said it's what we all ought to wear.

1455
01:33:25,575 --> 01:33:28,635
Others said it's like hanging foreign ideas
on our clothesline.

1456
01:33:28,712 --> 01:33:31,408
- It undermines our whole cause.
- I see.

1457
01:33:31,748 --> 01:33:34,308
You know how it is today.
All you have to do is wear...

1458
01:33:34,384 --> 01:33:37,717
a pair of silk stockings, and they
suspect you of counter-revolution.

1459
01:33:37,787 --> 01:33:40,915
Thank you, Anna.
I'll dry it up here when I wash it next.

1460
01:33:40,991 --> 01:33:44,722
I should hate to see our country
endangered by my underwear.

1461
01:33:45,028 --> 01:33:48,657
Ninotchka, I'm your friend.
You can trust me.

1462
01:33:49,065 --> 01:33:51,693
- Did you bring back anything else?
- No.

1463
01:33:51,868 --> 01:33:55,736
I left everything in Paris.
I just happened to be wearing this.

1464
01:33:55,805 --> 01:33:58,205
Tell me, what else did you have?

1465
01:33:58,875 --> 01:34:01,139
Well, a hat.

1466
01:34:01,845 --> 01:34:03,369
What was it like?

1467
01:34:03,646 --> 01:34:07,275
Oh, it was very silly.
I'd be ashamed to wear it here.

1468
01:34:07,751 --> 01:34:09,616
As beautiful as that.

1469
01:34:10,520 --> 01:34:12,511
What else? Come, tell me.

1470
01:34:13,857 --> 01:34:17,418
- An evening gown.
- An evening gown?

1471
01:34:17,660 --> 01:34:19,855
Yes, it's a dress you wear in the evening.

1472
01:34:19,929 --> 01:34:21,794
What do you wear in the morning?

1473
01:34:21,865 --> 01:34:26,359
When you get up you wear a negligee,
then you change into a morning frock.

1474
01:34:26,803 --> 01:34:30,864
You mean to tell me you wear a different
dress for different times of the day?

1475
01:34:30,940 --> 01:34:34,341
- Yes.
- Now, Ninotchka, you are exaggerating.

1476
01:34:34,411 --> 01:34:38,370
No, it's true.
That's how they live in the other world.

1477
01:34:39,149 --> 01:34:42,141
Here we dress to cover up our bodies.
To keep warm.

1478
01:34:42,218 --> 01:34:43,549
And there?

1479
01:34:44,254 --> 01:34:48,554
Sometimes they're not
completely covered, but they don't freeze.

1480
01:34:50,160 --> 01:34:53,960
They must have wonderful materials
to make a thing like this.

1481
01:34:54,030 --> 01:34:55,258
So soft.

1482
01:34:55,832 --> 01:34:58,824
- Something you don't even see.
- You feel it, though.

1483
01:34:59,869 --> 01:35:04,306
Ninotchka, I wouldn't bring this up
if we weren't such good friends.

1484
01:35:04,374 --> 01:35:05,773
What is it, Anna?

1485
01:35:05,942 --> 01:35:09,708
You know I told you that Pavlov and I
are going to get married...

1486
01:35:09,779 --> 01:35:12,179
when he comes back from the maneuvers.

1487
01:35:12,248 --> 01:35:14,113
Would it be asking too much if...

1488
01:35:14,184 --> 01:35:16,550
- You want this?
- Just for the honeymoon.

1489
01:35:16,619 --> 01:35:20,180
- It's yours for good.
- Ninotchka.

1490
01:35:21,891 --> 01:35:24,257
Thank you. Thank you very much.

1491
01:35:24,327 --> 01:35:27,490
I'll never forget what you've done.

1492
01:35:27,564 --> 01:35:30,294
Am I going to play that cadenza tonight!

1493
01:35:44,647 --> 01:35:47,775
...individuals, yes.
As atoms in the cosmos of Soviet Russia.

1494
01:35:47,851 --> 01:35:52,413
...and 30 million peasants,
85% of the population...

1495
01:35:52,689 --> 01:35:55,590
...into an automobile
and the muzhik into a tractor...

1496
01:35:55,658 --> 01:35:58,422
and then let the capitalists try to keep...

1497
01:36:03,133 --> 01:36:04,430
No music.

1498
01:36:09,606 --> 01:36:11,005
Ninotchka.

1499
01:36:12,142 --> 01:36:16,579
Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski!
How are you, you three scoundrels?

1500
01:36:16,646 --> 01:36:18,511
Well, we are back home.

1501
01:36:18,581 --> 01:36:21,015
You know what they say,
there is nothing like home.

1502
01:36:21,084 --> 01:36:22,642
Yes, and we might as well face it.

1503
01:36:22,719 --> 01:36:25,586
Now, you mustn't talk that way,
you must adjust yourselves.

1504
01:36:25,655 --> 01:36:28,453
- Let's be brave.
- Brave, that's right.

1505
01:36:28,525 --> 01:36:31,255
- Come and sit down.
- Let's be happy that we are all alive.

1506
01:36:31,327 --> 01:36:32,487
That we owe to Ninotchka.

1507
01:36:32,562 --> 01:36:35,998
If you hadn't given Commissar Razinin
such a wonderful report about us...

1508
01:36:36,065 --> 01:36:38,795
- who knows what would've happened?
- I can tell you exactly.

1509
01:36:38,868 --> 01:36:41,359
Let's forget everything,
except we're together.

1510
01:36:41,437 --> 01:36:44,600
- Yes, let's do that.
- It's a real Paris reunion.

1511
01:36:44,674 --> 01:36:48,474
If you close your eyes and listen
to our voices, we might be in Paris.

1512
01:36:48,545 --> 01:36:52,276
Let's not close our eyes. There are many
good things to see here, too.

1513
01:36:52,348 --> 01:36:54,714
Look how nicely
she has arranged the table.

1514
01:36:54,784 --> 01:36:59,414
Yes, how lovely. And what a
wonderful room you have here.

1515
01:36:59,489 --> 01:37:03,482
- How many families live here with you?
- Only myself and two other girls.

1516
01:37:03,560 --> 01:37:06,654
A cello player in the opera,
and a streetcar conductor.

1517
01:37:06,729 --> 01:37:09,254
Just three people in a room this size?

1518
01:37:10,200 --> 01:37:12,134
Buljanoff, look here.

1519
01:37:12,202 --> 01:37:13,965
- Isn't that wonderful?
- Look at this.

1520
01:37:14,037 --> 01:37:17,063
- What good material.
- Naturally, it's not the Royal Suite.

1521
01:37:17,140 --> 01:37:20,200
Comrades, once and for all,
we are in Moscow.

1522
01:37:20,276 --> 01:37:23,905
Yes, there's no doubt of that. Just look
out of the window and there it is.

1523
01:37:23,980 --> 01:37:25,345
And it's great.

1524
01:37:25,415 --> 01:37:28,543
Think what it was a few years ago
and what it is now.

1525
01:37:28,618 --> 01:37:30,609
It's a tremendous achievement.

1526
01:37:30,687 --> 01:37:33,315
- You must be reasonable, comrades.
- She is right.

1527
01:37:33,389 --> 01:37:35,118
Anyhow, let's talk ourselves into it.

1528
01:37:35,191 --> 01:37:39,184
All right. It's great.
It's marvelous. It's wonderful.

1529
01:37:39,262 --> 01:37:41,423
Just see how happy the people look
from here.

1530
01:37:41,497 --> 01:37:44,330
Can you blame them?
At least the May Day parade is over.

1531
01:37:44,400 --> 01:37:45,924
That's another thing. It's spring.

1532
01:37:46,002 --> 01:37:48,971
The same spring we had in Paris.
Just as good.

1533
01:37:49,038 --> 01:37:51,268
- Even the swallows are back.
- Really?

1534
01:37:51,341 --> 01:37:55,471
Yes, that's right. Maybe it's
the same swallow we saw in Paris.

1535
01:37:56,012 --> 01:37:58,674
Yes, it is, Ninotchka. It is.

1536
01:37:58,748 --> 01:38:01,876
He must have been in Paris.
You can see it in his whole attitude.

1537
01:38:01,951 --> 01:38:05,512
He picked up a crumb of our black bread,
shook his head and dropped it.

1538
01:38:05,588 --> 01:38:08,989
We must be patient.
Finally we got the spring, didn't we?

1539
01:38:09,058 --> 01:38:11,754
Let's forget the future.
Let's stop being sentimental.

1540
01:38:11,828 --> 01:38:14,490
- Let's start that omelet.
- That's right.

1541
01:38:14,564 --> 01:38:17,397
- Here is my egg.
- And here is mine.

1542
01:38:17,467 --> 01:38:18,934
And here are mine.

1543
01:38:19,002 --> 01:38:22,199
I don't know where's my egg?
I had an egg, too.

1544
01:38:24,374 --> 01:38:26,274
Comrades, I am out of the omelet.

1545
01:38:26,342 --> 01:38:28,810
- Don't worry, there'll be enough.
- Of course, comrade.

1546
01:38:28,878 --> 01:38:31,176
- Thank you.
- Now come over here.

1547
01:38:32,415 --> 01:38:35,441
Come, Ninotchka,
let's make it in real Parisian style.

1548
01:38:35,518 --> 01:38:38,453
- Yeah.
- Let's fill it with confiture des prunes.

1549
01:38:51,434 --> 01:38:53,231
A man like that.

1550
01:38:53,303 --> 01:38:56,739
All he has to do is walk through a room
and the omelet drops.

1551
01:38:56,806 --> 01:38:57,898
Yes.

1552
01:39:45,688 --> 01:39:48,748
Comrade Yakushova, here,
the postman left this letter for you.

1553
01:39:48,825 --> 01:39:50,315
Thank you, Vladimir.

1554
01:39:57,934 --> 01:40:00,767
- What is it, Ninotchka?
- Ninotchka, what is it?

1555
01:40:00,837 --> 01:40:02,498
- It's from Paris.
- From Paris?

1556
01:40:02,572 --> 01:40:04,335
- A bill?
- From Leon.

1557
01:40:04,407 --> 01:40:07,171
- From Leon?
- How is he, tell us?

1558
01:40:44,247 --> 01:40:45,509
Bad news?

1559
01:41:11,441 --> 01:41:13,773
Well, I think it's getting late.

1560
01:41:16,078 --> 01:41:17,943
Good night, Ninotchka.

1561
01:41:18,748 --> 01:41:20,875
Thanks for a wonderful dinner.

1562
01:41:23,920 --> 01:41:26,184
- Good night, Ninotchka.
- Good night.

1563
01:41:26,956 --> 01:41:28,287
Good night.

1564
01:41:31,828 --> 01:41:34,820
They can't censor our memories, can they?

1565
01:41:35,731 --> 01:41:36,925
No.

1566
01:42:12,735 --> 01:42:14,066
Come in.

1567
01:42:21,477 --> 01:42:24,503
- Good morning, comrade.
- Good morning, Comrade Commissar.

1568
01:42:24,580 --> 01:42:28,277
Here's my report on materials available
for trading in the next four months.

1569
01:42:28,351 --> 01:42:30,785
Does it include products
of the far eastern provinces?

1570
01:42:30,853 --> 01:42:33,913
- Yes, it does.
- You've finished the whole investigation?

1571
01:42:34,223 --> 01:42:36,623
That's marvelous.
You must have worked day and night.

1572
01:42:36,692 --> 01:42:39,490
- Don't you ever sleep?
- I need very little sleep.

1573
01:42:39,562 --> 01:42:42,690
We must be extremely careful
what goods we take in exchange.

1574
01:42:42,765 --> 01:42:45,632
I have already started a survey
on our most urgent needs.

1575
01:42:45,701 --> 01:42:49,865
Comrade, I am afraid you will have
to turn over that work to someone else.

1576
01:42:49,939 --> 01:42:51,406
May I ask why?

1577
01:42:51,941 --> 01:42:54,068
- Please sit down.
- Thank you.

1578
01:42:54,644 --> 01:42:58,546
Now, comrade, have you heard
from Kopalski, Buljanoff, and Iranoff?

1579
01:42:58,614 --> 01:43:00,047
- No.
- I haven't either...

1580
01:43:00,116 --> 01:43:02,311
but I have heard about them.
You must realize...

1581
01:43:02,385 --> 01:43:06,651
it was on the strength of your Paris report
that I sent them to Constantinople.

1582
01:43:06,722 --> 01:43:08,917
Without that,
I never would have trusted them...

1583
01:43:08,991 --> 01:43:11,152
on a mission as important as a fur deal.

1584
01:43:11,227 --> 01:43:12,717
May I ask what has happened?

1585
01:43:12,795 --> 01:43:16,253
If I told you what's going on
in Constantinople right now...

1586
01:43:16,332 --> 01:43:17,856
you wouldn't believe it.

1587
01:43:17,934 --> 01:43:20,368
They are sitting there, those three,
for six weeks...

1588
01:43:20,436 --> 01:43:22,495
and haven't sold a piece of fur.

1589
01:43:22,572 --> 01:43:24,904
This anonymous report was sent to me.

1590
01:43:24,974 --> 01:43:29,104
They are dragging the good name of our
country through every cafe and nightclub.

1591
01:43:29,178 --> 01:43:33,581
Here. "How can the Bolshevik cause
gain respect among the Moslems...

1592
01:43:33,649 --> 01:43:38,245
"if your three representatives, Buljanoff,
Iranoff, and Kopalski get so drunk...

1593
01:43:38,321 --> 01:43:41,119
"that they throw a carpet
out of their hotel window...

1594
01:43:41,190 --> 01:43:43,624
"and complain to the management
that it didn't fly."

1595
01:43:43,693 --> 01:43:45,820
Unbelievable! It's an outrage.

1596
01:43:46,395 --> 01:43:50,354
They shouldn't do such things.
Are you sure this report's correct?

1597
01:43:50,433 --> 01:43:54,062
Naturally, I want to verify it,
and that's why I need you.

1598
01:43:54,770 --> 01:43:58,467
- You want me to go to Constantinople?
- Yes, leaving immediately.

1599
01:43:58,541 --> 01:44:00,941
I appreciate your confidence in me...

1600
01:44:01,010 --> 01:44:03,911
but I must ask you
to entrust someone else with this mission.

1601
01:44:03,980 --> 01:44:06,471
I should hate
to interrupt my present work.

1602
01:44:06,549 --> 01:44:08,813
I am positive my survey
is more important...

1603
01:44:08,884 --> 01:44:11,682
than finding out whether
three of our comrades have been...

1604
01:44:11,754 --> 01:44:13,517
drinking some extra glasses
of champagne.

1605
01:44:13,589 --> 01:44:16,114
That is for me to decide,
Comrade Yakushova.

1606
01:44:16,192 --> 01:44:19,923
I am sorry. I don't want
to overstep my position...

1607
01:44:20,630 --> 01:44:24,157
but please don't send me.
Please, comrade, let me stay here.

1608
01:44:24,233 --> 01:44:26,895
Let me finish my work.
I'm in the rhythm of it now.

1609
01:44:26,969 --> 01:44:28,402
I don't want to go away.

1610
01:44:28,471 --> 01:44:31,269
I don't want to be sent
into that foreign atmosphere again.

1611
01:44:31,340 --> 01:44:32,602
It throws you out of gear.

1612
01:44:32,675 --> 01:44:36,406
Let me finish my work.
I have concentrated everything in it.

1613
01:44:36,646 --> 01:44:38,739
Please don't make me go.

1614
01:44:39,048 --> 01:44:42,814
Don't waste my time, comrade.
Do your duty. Goodbye.

1615
01:44:44,153 --> 01:44:45,882
I shall do my best.

1616
01:45:27,930 --> 01:45:30,797
How do you like it, Ninotchka?
Isn't it wonderful?

1617
01:45:30,866 --> 01:45:33,960
- Tell us, Ninotchka.
- Buljanoff, Iranoff, Kopalski...

1618
01:45:34,036 --> 01:45:36,504
Now, please don't start
figuring it out in cows.

1619
01:45:36,572 --> 01:45:38,665
You've done it again, and I'm responsible.

1620
01:45:38,741 --> 01:45:40,436
How can you forget yourselves this way?

1621
01:45:40,509 --> 01:45:42,773
You were sent here to make money
not to spend it.

1622
01:45:42,845 --> 01:45:45,609
Buljanoff, she still has those
old-fashioned ideas.

1623
01:45:45,681 --> 01:45:48,309
- It is high time she got out of Russia.
- Comrades.

1624
01:45:48,384 --> 01:45:51,148
- I must be stern with you.
- That's our old Ninotchka.

1625
01:45:51,220 --> 01:45:55,213
Don't forget the day will come
when you will have to face Razinin.

1626
01:45:55,958 --> 01:45:57,892
Ninotchka! Razinin?

1627
01:45:58,561 --> 01:46:02,156
Good old Razinin. Is he still alive?
How does he manage?

1628
01:46:02,732 --> 01:46:05,792
- Comrades...
- Friends, Ninotchka, we are friends.

1629
01:46:05,868 --> 01:46:08,166
Imagine, we don't have
to whisper any more.

1630
01:46:08,237 --> 01:46:09,966
No. We can say whatever we want.

1631
01:46:10,039 --> 01:46:12,633
We can shout, we can complain. Look.

1632
01:46:16,145 --> 01:46:18,773
The service in this hotel is terrible!

1633
01:46:20,382 --> 01:46:23,351
See? Nobody comes,
nobody pays any attention.

1634
01:46:24,754 --> 01:46:27,018
- That's freedom.
- That's bad management.

1635
01:46:27,089 --> 01:46:29,785
Is it possible to bring you back to reality
for one moment?

1636
01:46:29,859 --> 01:46:32,692
I must have a complete report
of your negotiations...

1637
01:46:32,762 --> 01:46:36,220
- and a detailed expense account.
- No, don't ask for it.

1638
01:46:36,298 --> 01:46:38,232
There is a Turkish proverb which says:

1639
01:46:38,300 --> 01:46:40,598
"If something smells bad,
why put your nose in it?"

1640
01:46:40,669 --> 01:46:42,227
And there is an old Russian saying:

1641
01:46:42,304 --> 01:46:45,603
"The cat who has cream on his whiskers
had better find good excuses."

1642
01:46:45,674 --> 01:46:47,198
With our cream situation as it is...

1643
01:46:47,276 --> 01:46:49,904
it's Russia that should apologize
to the cats.

1644
01:46:50,312 --> 01:46:52,780
I don't know how I can
get you out of it this time.

1645
01:46:52,848 --> 01:46:54,076
How will it end?

1646
01:46:54,150 --> 01:46:55,913
- Shall we tell her?
- Yes.

1647
01:46:57,119 --> 01:47:00,350
- Ninotchka, I hope you'll be our guest.
- Guest?

1648
01:47:00,489 --> 01:47:04,152
- Yes, we have opened a restaurant.
- A restaurant?

1649
01:47:04,226 --> 01:47:06,694
We have a wonderful electric sign:

1650
01:47:06,762 --> 01:47:09,162
"Dine with Buljanoff, Iranoff,
and Kopalski."

1651
01:47:09,231 --> 01:47:11,324
You mean you're deserting Russia?

1652
01:47:11,500 --> 01:47:16,199
Ninotchka, don't call it desertion.
Our little restaurant, that is our Russia.

1653
01:47:16,272 --> 01:47:19,571
The Russia of borscht,
the Russia of beef stroganoff.

1654
01:47:19,642 --> 01:47:23,043
- Of blinis and sour cream.
- The Russia of pirozhki.

1655
01:47:23,112 --> 01:47:26,604
- People will eat and love it.
- We are not only serving good food...

1656
01:47:26,682 --> 01:47:29,651
we are serving our country.
We are making friends.

1657
01:47:29,718 --> 01:47:33,279
Who gave you this idea?
Who's responsible for all this?

1658
01:47:33,355 --> 01:47:37,155
There is something in Constantinople,
something irresistible.

1659
01:47:37,226 --> 01:47:39,524
It's in the air.
It may come around the corner...

1660
01:47:39,595 --> 01:47:42,428
- when you walk down the street.
- It may step out of a bazaar.

1661
01:47:42,498 --> 01:47:46,559
It may be waiting for you in a corridor.
It may hide in the shadow of a minaret.

1662
01:47:46,635 --> 01:47:48,728
And right now it's on the balcony.

1663
01:47:54,310 --> 01:47:57,473
They wouldn't let me in,
so I had to get you out.

1664
01:48:04,753 --> 01:48:08,951
So you're behind all this.
I should have known.

1665
01:48:27,343 --> 01:48:29,709
Trying to keep me away from you.

1666
01:48:30,112 --> 01:48:32,307
As though that were possible.

1667
01:48:32,882 --> 01:48:37,114
Naturally, I couldn't go on forever
punching passport officials in the nose...

1668
01:48:37,186 --> 01:48:39,017
but I found a way, didn't I?

1669
01:48:39,121 --> 01:48:41,555
Darling, I had to see you.
I wrote and wrote.

1670
01:48:41,624 --> 01:48:43,353
And all my letters came back to me.

1671
01:48:43,425 --> 01:48:46,121
And the one I got,
they wouldn't let me read.

1672
01:48:46,428 --> 01:48:49,295
It began, "Ninotchka, my darling"...

1673
01:48:49,365 --> 01:48:51,833
and it ended "Yours, Leon."

1674
01:48:53,068 --> 01:48:55,628
I won't tell you what came between.

1675
01:48:55,704 --> 01:48:57,899
I'll show you, I'll prove it.

1676
01:48:59,208 --> 01:49:01,506
But it'll take a long time, Ninotchka.

1677
01:49:02,478 --> 01:49:04,241
At least a lifetime.

1678
01:49:05,547 --> 01:49:08,744
But, Leon, I'm only here for a few days.

1679
01:49:09,618 --> 01:49:13,748
All right, if you don't stay with me,
then I'll have to continue my fight.

1680
01:49:14,123 --> 01:49:16,421
I'll travel wherever
there are Russian commissions.

1681
01:49:16,492 --> 01:49:19,359
I'll turn them all into Iranoffs,
Buljanoffs, and Kopalskis.

1682
01:49:19,428 --> 01:49:21,862
The world will be crowded
with Russian restaurants.

1683
01:49:21,931 --> 01:49:23,831
I'll depopulate Russia.

1684
01:49:23,899 --> 01:49:28,029
Comrade, once you saved
your country by going back.

1685
01:49:29,238 --> 01:49:31,934
This time you can only save it
by staying here.

1686
01:49:33,842 --> 01:49:37,073
Well, if it is a choice between
my personal interest...

1687
01:49:37,146 --> 01:49:40,582
and the good of my country,
how can I waver?

1688
01:49:41,283 --> 01:49:44,741
No one shall say Ninotchka
was a bad Russian.

1689
01:49:45,587 --> 01:49:46,246
Darling.

1690
01:50:26,061 --> 01:50:27,050
English