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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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Now, if you'll follow me
this way onto the quad,
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we'll continue our campus tour.
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So, sweetie, remember, if you drink a beer,
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you drink a glass of water, all right?
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Six-pack of beer,
six-pack of water.
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Okay. This just sounds
like way too much liquid.
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Or just don't party at all.
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Okay, Mom, you're the
one who always talks about
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how much you smoked pot in college
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and for a whole semester,
you just peed outside.
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Okay, they did call me,
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"Smoke a Lot of Pot and Pee Outside" Kate.
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- Well...
- But I regret that.
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Okay? Just skip over that
part and act like I am now.
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- Okay.
- Oh. Let's show her stranger danger.
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Do you know stranger danger?
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I'm sure...
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Okay, this is real important.
So, I'm a scary frat guy.
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- Right?
- Okay.
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There's a lot of them.
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- Mom is you, all right?
- Lucky me.
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Okay. Hey, sweet thing.
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- My name's Geppetto. Uh...
- Whoa.
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- 'Cause I make the ladies my puppets.
- Uh...
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- Yeah. Right?
- See? I already don't trust him.
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- Right? He's a bad guy.
- Trust your instincts.
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- Bad guy.
- Weird choice.
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So, you wanna come
up to the bro house?
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You don't have to answer.
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- Oh...
- But, for this scenario, I will.
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I'm fine, thank you. I'm
getting ready to study.
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Oh, but I like the silent type.
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You smell good.
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You probably think I'm close to
you, but I'd like to get closer.
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♪ Come, my lady
Come, come, my lady
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♪ You're my sugar
pie, honey, baby ♪
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Then you elbow him in the
balls, and then you roll away.
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Right there. And you roll.
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- And the guy's like, "No! My nards."
- And you get out of there.
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So, stay away from guys named Geppetto.
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Got it. Thank you. Guys...
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I love this school. This is
where I wanna go next year.
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Oh, we're so happy you love it here!
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Let us come with you!
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- She's just kidding.
- Nah.
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I love you guys.
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- We love you, too.
- Come here.
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Aw... God, our little baby!
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If I get in.
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- If you get in.
- If you get in.
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- That's right.
- Tough school. It's tough.
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Oh, God. No, I don't wanna click it.
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I'm not gonna click it. One
of you click it. I'm not...
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Honey, Alex, you're an A student, okay?
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Chill. I'm sure you got in.
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You know, if they don't
want my baby, they're stupid.
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The Bisons? What kind of mascot is that?
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If they say no to you,
I say we say no to them.
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Fuck the Bisons! You know.
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- Yeah. Bucknell, more like Fucknell!
- Yes!
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I got in!
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You got in! Yes!
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Bucknell, I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
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We're Bucknell!
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- Bucknell, baby! Bucknell!
- Yeah! Bucknell!
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It's a majestic creature,
the bison. Bisons! Bisons!
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Man, Frank is not looking
so hot since Raina left.
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Ugh, I can smell that
poncho from here.
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He looks like Animal from the Muppets.
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- What's up, you guys?
- What's up, buddy? How are ya?
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- Guys.
- Frank, buddy.
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Great party!
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Yeah, it's going great, huh?
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Yeah, we're glad you could come.
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You made it.
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Yeah, of course I made it.
Rode my bike all the way here.
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- Good.
- Yeah.
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What happened to your car?
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I can't find it.
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You guys must be pretty psyched, right?
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Yeah, we are.
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So proud of Alex. She's really grown up.
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No, no, no. I'm talking about us.
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I'm talking about the three
of us, next week. Vegas!
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- We were thinking about Vegas.
- Yeah.
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What if we push Vegas until the fall?
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Yeah. We still go. We just
push it a little later.
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No. There's only now.
There is no later, right?
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We'll... We'll talk.
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All right, buddy. All right.
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Guys, high school's over.
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And, let's face it, we're
not ready for college.
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It seems like being a freshman in college
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means you have to be prepared
to get date raped, right?
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I don't understand the difference
between, like, rape and date rape.
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Oh, I think date rape is when you go
to dinner and a movie, and then rape.
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- She's talking to her friends about how sad she is.
- Yeah.
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Look at their body language.
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They don't want to leave their parents.
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We're gonna pack everything we should
have done at high school into this summer.
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I mean, I kind of told my parents
I'd hang out with them this summer.
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- That's weird.
- No, my parents are fun.
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For parents, they're fun.
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For people, they're the worst. I...
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Does your mom even talk to you, Rachel?
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Stop.
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How did we get so lucky
to snag a kid like that?
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I don't know.
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Kind of feel like I'm
losing my best friend.
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Gotten so used to it being us three.
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What's it gonna be like when it's just us?
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Well, it's gonna...
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Come on!
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I mean, yeah!
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Empty nest?
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This nest is gonna be
filled with our loving.
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- Yes!
- Yeah!
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It's gonna be a regular
fuck fest around here.
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Oh, yeah! Get your passport ready,
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'cause we're...
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We'll be going to fuck town.
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What a nice party.
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Hey, thank you so much for the party.
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- Oh, you're welcome.
- It was really fun.
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I had such a good time.
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Rachel invited me over
to her house tonight,
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and I was wondering if I could go.
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Well, we were gonna
watch Walking Dead.
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What's more fun, hanging with your friends,
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or watching zombies eat
people with your parents?
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Think it's time for an Alex sandwich?
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Mmm.
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Please stay, please stay.
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Stay, stay, stay.
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- Okay. Okay, I'll stay.
- Yes.
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- Brains.
- Brains.
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Oh, no! Oh, no!
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Brains.
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Whoa!
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- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
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All right, town.
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We'd now like to open up
the floor to its citizens.
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First up on the docket,
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Council would like to
recognize Officer Chandler.
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Good afternoon.
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Last Tuesday night at
approximately 3:14 a.m.,
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vandals spray-painted what
appears to be a male penis
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and accompanying genitalia
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on the high school football field.
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It has since been removed.
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All right.
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Town would like to
recognize Frank Theodorakis.
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$1,500 of fines
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for the height of my hedges.
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This is bullshit, Bob.
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Screw this town.
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I am out of here.
Right after I say this.
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Raina, baby, please come home.
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- You're my wife.
- Oh, God.
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- I love you, and I want you to come home.
- Frank, shut up. Stop it.
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This is the only time I can
be in the same room with you.
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- Come home!
- Just not here!
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It's not going the way
you think it's going.
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I want it, but I've gotta turn
this around. Raina, just...
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- Stop it. Go. Just...
- Oh, come on!
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And where the hell
is our car, Frank?
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Well, looks like Fox Meadow's having
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its own little soap
opera play out here.
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I'm sorry.
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No need to apologize to us.
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Just apologize to yourself
for making a bad decision.
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On a bad man.
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Moving on to the next issue.
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If we could, please.
Ladies and gentlemen,
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Fox Meadow's most exciting project,
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the town pool!
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What?
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The actual pool will be five pools,
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picnic area, playground,
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state-of-the-art
locker room,
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and the best food court
in the tri-state area.
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All right, the last item
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on today's agenda is 207-G,
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that is the Fox Meadow Scholarship,
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rewarding one hardworking
high school student...
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This is us. He's talking about us.
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...by paying their college tuition.
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This year's recipient is none
other than Alex Johansen.
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- Alex Johansen.
- Alex... Yes!
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Unfortunately, the town is facing
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some devastating
budget cuts this year
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and I'm afraid the
scholarship is an indulgence
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that the town can no longer afford.
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All right, so if that is
it, then we can move on.
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- Hold on, please.
- Bob...
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Are you saying that you don't
have money for the scholarship,
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but you have money for the town pools?
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Look, I would love to give
Alex this scholarship.
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Heck, I'd love to give
everybody a free education.
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So, let's open it up to the town.
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By a show of hands, who
here likes swimming?
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No, wait.
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- No, don't raise your hands.
- Oh, come on.
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That's not what we're debating
here. It's a trick question.
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I guess I'm a little torn
here, to be quite honest,
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'cause I do love Alex.
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But I also love swimming.
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Shut up, Joe.
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I love swimming. I'm Martha.
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'Cause, you know, with
three kids and a job,
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it's the only me time I get.
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Of course you want the pool, Martha.
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It's right next to your house.
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You know what Laura brings to a potluck?
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Her nasty mouth and no more.
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How was I supposed to know that
I was supposed to bring food?
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That invitation was vague.
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00:08:30,934 --> 00:08:32,800
And you don't have to keep telling
everyone your name's Martha, they know.
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But that's who I am, I'm Martha.
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All right, ladies, enough, enough.
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Let's bring this to a vote.
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Those in favor of
eliminating the scholarship
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and building the
town pool, vote yes.
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00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:45,647
Those opposed, who want
one family to profit
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while the rest of
the town suffers, no.
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Yes?
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All right, looks like
the yeses have it.
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Oh, please.
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I'll tell you one thing I'm gonna do is
I'm gonna take a hate crap in that pool.
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We can barely afford our
mortgage, and now this?
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It's time we face the
truth, we're bad parents.
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00:09:09,372 --> 00:09:11,605
Remember that mother who
threw her baby down a well?
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00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:13,039
We're worse than that mother.
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You know, when I became
a dad, I made a choice.
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To be the dad my father wasn't. Right?
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To play with my daughter,
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to support her dreams and talents,
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and, yeah, maybe I could
have spent a little more time
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checking on what was in the bank.
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00:09:29,425 --> 00:09:32,893
But instead, I put my heart in the bank.
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I deposited love, a lot of it.
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And that's not gonna be the cover
story of The Wall Street Journal,
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but it's the headline of my heart.
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- Does that make sense?
- No, honey, I lost you halfway through.
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Okay, the bottom line is that Alex thinks
we can afford tuition, and we can't.
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We need to tell her the truth.
248
00:09:52,247 --> 00:09:54,480
We always tell the truth.
That's what we always say.
249
00:09:54,482 --> 00:09:55,515
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
250
00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:57,751
I think we should do it.
251
00:09:57,753 --> 00:09:59,586
- I'm not gonna do it.
- Me neither.
252
00:09:59,588 --> 00:10:01,956
We gotta lie about everything,
because that's what parents do.
253
00:10:01,958 --> 00:10:03,857
The job of being a parent, number one job,
254
00:10:03,859 --> 00:10:05,993
is to keep this crazy shit from their kids.
255
00:10:05,995 --> 00:10:09,395
'Cause otherwise, the kids are gonna
realize that we don't know what we're doing!
256
00:10:09,397 --> 00:10:10,999
- Exactly, that's what our parents did!
- Yeah.
257
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:12,866
My dad had cancer and never told us!
258
00:10:12,868 --> 00:10:14,769
And what you didn't know, didn't hurt you.
259
00:10:14,771 --> 00:10:17,770
It was weird. But I got over it.
260
00:10:17,772 --> 00:10:19,673
And then he died, so...
261
00:10:19,675 --> 00:10:22,009
- Yeah.
- Hey, guys.
262
00:10:22,011 --> 00:10:22,975
Hi.
263
00:10:22,977 --> 00:10:25,812
I heard about the scholarship.
264
00:10:25,814 --> 00:10:29,417
So, I guess I can't go to Bucknell.
265
00:10:29,419 --> 00:10:31,519
You're going to Bucknell University.
266
00:10:31,521 --> 00:10:33,486
- We're gonna send you there.
- Yeah. Yeah.
267
00:10:33,488 --> 00:10:36,356
And if we can't keep the
promise that we make to you,
268
00:10:36,358 --> 00:10:39,025
we are the worst parents in the world.
269
00:10:39,027 --> 00:10:40,029
Oh, honey.
270
00:10:43,565 --> 00:10:45,298
Thank you guys so much.
271
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,170
- I love you guys.
- Love you, too.
272
00:10:57,546 --> 00:11:00,714
So, as you know, Bob took
away our scholarship,
273
00:11:00,716 --> 00:11:02,216
which we were kind of counting on.
274
00:11:02,218 --> 00:11:04,784
But then we remembered
that we have a college fund
275
00:11:04,786 --> 00:11:07,721
with our dear financial advisor, Dawn.
276
00:11:07,723 --> 00:11:09,389
You don't have enough money.
277
00:11:09,391 --> 00:11:11,624
I don't have any money.
278
00:11:11,626 --> 00:11:12,927
Can I have a raise?
279
00:11:12,929 --> 00:11:15,830
No way. No earthly way.
280
00:11:15,832 --> 00:11:17,030
- I have an idea.
- Hmm?
281
00:11:17,032 --> 00:11:18,832
Can we apply for a loan?
282
00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:20,600
Listen, I'm just gonna
come right out with it.
283
00:11:20,602 --> 00:11:22,003
No one's gonna lend you shit.
284
00:11:22,005 --> 00:11:23,873
But if I don't get my job back...
285
00:11:26,809 --> 00:11:28,374
Are you jerking off a giant?
286
00:11:28,376 --> 00:11:29,677
No, I'm...
287
00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:31,912
I just hung... I just hanged myself.
288
00:11:31,914 --> 00:11:33,681
I don't know if you heard me.
289
00:11:33,683 --> 00:11:35,749
If you don't give me a raise,
290
00:11:35,751 --> 00:11:37,951
I'm walking out of this building
291
00:11:37,953 --> 00:11:39,552
and I'm not looking back.
292
00:11:39,554 --> 00:11:41,188
I don't believe you, and
I think you're bluffing.
293
00:11:41,190 --> 00:11:43,325
Is this the face of a man who's bluffing?
294
00:11:44,493 --> 00:11:46,326
Okay, right here.
295
00:11:46,328 --> 00:11:49,996
It says right here, in this
account, we have $401,000.
296
00:11:49,998 --> 00:11:52,299
- Jackpot!
- You missed it!
297
00:11:52,301 --> 00:11:55,838
No, uh, that says you have a 401K account.
298
00:11:58,607 --> 00:12:01,174
Look, we have to tell him that
we're not going to Vegas, okay?
299
00:12:01,176 --> 00:12:03,045
Yeah. There's no way we can go.
300
00:12:05,582 --> 00:12:07,581
Yikes.
301
00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:09,383
- I'm not a loser.
- You are a loser!
302
00:12:09,385 --> 00:12:11,118
- Frank? Where are you, bud?
- I'm not a loser! No!
303
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,320
What do you want from me?
304
00:12:12,322 --> 00:12:14,455
What do you want from me?
305
00:12:14,457 --> 00:12:16,090
- Sign the divorce papers, Frank!
- No, I don't wanna do...
306
00:12:16,092 --> 00:12:17,658
What did I do to make you hate me so much?
307
00:12:17,660 --> 00:12:19,559
We should get out of here.
Give them their privacy.
308
00:12:19,561 --> 00:12:20,994
- Yep.
- You punched my dad!
309
00:12:20,996 --> 00:12:22,296
He called m a gambling addict!
310
00:12:22,298 --> 00:12:23,964
- You are a gambling addict.
- Wow.
311
00:12:23,966 --> 00:12:25,999
You lost your job, and
you stopped showering.
312
00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:28,101
- We should go. She's coming.
- I know.
313
00:12:28,103 --> 00:12:30,272
Just sign the fucking
divorce papers, Frank.
314
00:12:30,673 --> 00:12:31,739
Oh.
315
00:12:31,741 --> 00:12:32,807
- Oh, hi.
- Hey.
316
00:12:32,809 --> 00:12:34,808
Hey, Raina, you look great.
317
00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:36,277
Oh, wow.
318
00:12:36,279 --> 00:12:37,378
That was crazy.
319
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:38,913
Yeah, it was kind of weird.
320
00:12:38,915 --> 00:12:41,114
We don't really know. Yeah.
321
00:12:41,116 --> 00:12:43,186
He's your problem now.
322
00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:50,760
Hey, Frank?
323
00:12:53,362 --> 00:12:54,595
Hey, bud.
324
00:12:54,597 --> 00:12:56,199
Hey. Hey, guys.
325
00:12:57,166 --> 00:12:58,097
What's going on?
326
00:12:58,099 --> 00:13:00,466
- I was fixing the sink.
- Uh-huh.
327
00:13:00,468 --> 00:13:02,769
Splashed some water on my face.
328
00:13:02,771 --> 00:13:05,471
- That's what's going on here.
- Mmm-hmm.
329
00:13:05,473 --> 00:13:07,942
'Cause I was fixing the sink
'cause the sink was broken.
330
00:13:07,944 --> 00:13:10,009
Right, it's okay. We saw Raina.
331
00:13:10,011 --> 00:13:13,847
I know my life seems totally awesome
and, like, things are going great, but...
332
00:13:13,849 --> 00:13:15,849
Hmm. It looks pretty bleak in here.
333
00:13:15,851 --> 00:13:18,753
Who am I kidding? I'm having
a pretty hard time right now.
334
00:13:18,755 --> 00:13:20,922
- We get that. Yeah.
- It seems like it. Yeah.
335
00:13:20,924 --> 00:13:23,856
Which is why I'm all in on this Vegas trip.
336
00:13:23,858 --> 00:13:27,028
That's the only thing that is
keeping me alive right now, frankly.
337
00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:29,330
So, let's get this party started!
338
00:13:29,332 --> 00:13:30,597
Right.
339
00:13:30,599 --> 00:13:31,932
You know...
340
00:13:31,934 --> 00:13:33,967
- I need it bad.
- We know you need it.
341
00:13:33,969 --> 00:13:36,269
- Yeah.
- But, for us, it's not a great time.
342
00:13:36,271 --> 00:13:38,004
So, we were thinking, maybe...
343
00:13:38,006 --> 00:13:39,740
Maybe...
344
00:13:39,742 --> 00:13:43,443
- We...
- We could leave later than we talked about leaving.
345
00:13:43,445 --> 00:13:47,914
- You said we were going to say...
- I said we have since...
346
00:13:47,916 --> 00:13:52,821
- You have since...
- ...decided that we need to support a friend.
347
00:13:53,890 --> 00:13:55,425
Who's this friend?
348
00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:02,830
Vegas. Whoo!
349
00:14:09,104 --> 00:14:10,903
- It's 11! Eleven!
- Yes! Yes!
350
00:14:10,905 --> 00:14:12,673
Gentleman needs some chips.
351
00:14:12,675 --> 00:14:14,607
Guys, what are you waiting for?
352
00:14:14,609 --> 00:14:18,711
Get in on this! I'm hitting every
single number over and over again.
353
00:14:18,713 --> 00:14:19,779
Let's do this!
354
00:14:19,781 --> 00:14:21,682
Dice are out!
355
00:14:21,684 --> 00:14:23,115
Eleven!
356
00:14:23,117 --> 00:14:25,019
- This dude is on fire!
- You guys need money?
357
00:14:25,021 --> 00:14:29,121
I am literally making every
single person at this table money.
358
00:14:29,123 --> 00:14:30,691
I don't know, we said
we weren't gonna gamble.
359
00:14:30,693 --> 00:14:32,860
Come on. What's the
worst that could happen?
360
00:14:32,862 --> 00:14:34,561
Maybe we put a few dollars on four.
361
00:14:34,563 --> 00:14:35,962
Hot shooter.
362
00:14:35,964 --> 00:14:38,164
I mean, yeah, the fourth
is Alex's birthday.
363
00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:39,832
- Right?
- We'll just do one bet.
364
00:14:39,834 --> 00:14:42,802
I kind of can't lose at
this point, so let's do this.
365
00:14:42,804 --> 00:14:44,171
Welcome to the Wynn, sir.
366
00:14:44,173 --> 00:14:46,072
Number four, please.
367
00:14:46,074 --> 00:14:47,910
- No, no, not all 500.
- Hey-oh!
368
00:14:50,078 --> 00:14:52,013
- Yeah! Fuck yeah, four!
- Yes! Yes!
369
00:14:52,015 --> 00:14:53,980
Four! Four!
370
00:14:53,982 --> 00:14:56,583
I should tell you, the probability
of hitting four again, very unlikely.
371
00:14:56,585 --> 00:15:00,721
But if we do, you guys are gonna
double that and it's gonna pay out big.
372
00:15:00,723 --> 00:15:02,221
And, plus, it's for baby Alex!
373
00:15:02,223 --> 00:15:05,926
- Alex! Alex! Alex!
- Alex! Alex! Alex!
374
00:15:05,928 --> 00:15:06,960
That's a four.
375
00:15:09,497 --> 00:15:11,999
Come on, Frank! Frank, look at me!
376
00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:13,967
- We're gonna do this, Frank!
- Here we go, Kate!
377
00:15:13,969 --> 00:15:15,735
- Do this!
- Let's do this!
378
00:15:29,818 --> 00:15:30,884
Four!
379
00:15:35,857 --> 00:15:37,724
Okay, guys...
380
00:15:37,726 --> 00:15:41,729
If I roll another four, that's
Alex going to college, all right?
381
00:15:41,731 --> 00:15:42,996
I feel very lucky right now.
382
00:15:42,998 --> 00:15:44,264
- We believe in you, Frank.
- All right.
383
00:15:44,266 --> 00:15:46,969
Whatever you do, don't roll a seven!
384
00:15:56,212 --> 00:15:59,111
Why would you say that?
385
00:15:59,113 --> 00:16:01,815
I didn't know!
386
00:16:01,817 --> 00:16:05,284
- No!
- No!
387
00:16:05,286 --> 00:16:09,755
Fuck you, asshole!
388
00:16:09,757 --> 00:16:12,328
No!
389
00:16:20,035 --> 00:16:21,934
Yeah! Oh, yeah!
390
00:16:21,936 --> 00:16:23,971
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
391
00:16:23,973 --> 00:16:26,306
- Oh, no!
- God damn it!
392
00:16:26,308 --> 00:16:28,741
Seven out, there was no four.
393
00:16:28,743 --> 00:16:31,946
- Hey, that money's my daughter's college tuition.
- Yeah?
394
00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:35,014
Well, she just got accepted
to the School of Hard Knocks.
395
00:16:35,016 --> 00:16:36,283
Misroll! It's a misroll!
396
00:16:36,285 --> 00:16:38,585
- Scotty, no!
- I said not a seven!
397
00:16:38,587 --> 00:16:40,721
Give me that stick! Give it to me!
398
00:16:40,723 --> 00:16:42,722
"Whatever you do, don't roll a seven"?
399
00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:45,259
Thanks a lot, asshole. You
basically jinxed us all.
400
00:16:45,261 --> 00:16:50,630
I was merely trying to make you
aware of what number not to roll,
401
00:16:50,632 --> 00:16:53,332
which, by the way, for
the record, was seven.
402
00:16:53,334 --> 00:16:55,702
Fuck you, asshole!
403
00:16:55,704 --> 00:16:57,071
That guy gets it!
404
00:16:57,073 --> 00:16:58,337
- Why is that guy following me?
- Why?
405
00:16:58,339 --> 00:17:00,140
Because he hates you.
406
00:17:00,142 --> 00:17:01,841
I hate you, too, right now.
407
00:17:01,843 --> 00:17:03,743
This place makes you crazy.
408
00:17:03,745 --> 00:17:07,347
You know, we came in hell-bent on
not gambling, and what did we do?
409
00:17:07,349 --> 00:17:09,048
We gambled and we lost all our money.
410
00:17:09,050 --> 00:17:10,884
You know what I say?
411
00:17:10,886 --> 00:17:12,219
House always wins.
412
00:17:12,221 --> 00:17:14,156
What if we were the house?
413
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,526
Are you guys familiar
with the cliche,
414
00:17:19,528 --> 00:17:21,428
"It's a cliche because it's true"?
415
00:17:21,430 --> 00:17:25,097
Well, that cliche about cliches
being true has never been more true
416
00:17:25,099 --> 00:17:26,967
than right now with the cliche,
417
00:17:26,969 --> 00:17:28,969
"The house always wins."
418
00:17:28,971 --> 00:17:30,703
- What?
- Okay?
419
00:17:30,705 --> 00:17:32,506
Now, we stand to make
420
00:17:32,508 --> 00:17:36,109
four years' tuition in one month.
421
00:17:36,111 --> 00:17:38,778
One month, guys. Think about that.
422
00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:41,115
This is the most impressive
thing you've ever done, Frank.
423
00:17:41,117 --> 00:17:42,749
- Um...
- Thanks, Scott.
424
00:17:42,751 --> 00:17:45,384
- I'm very wary to go into business with you.
- Noted.
425
00:17:45,386 --> 00:17:48,622
- However, we know why we need the money.
- Yes.
426
00:17:48,624 --> 00:17:49,990
What's in it for you?
427
00:17:49,992 --> 00:17:52,326
Well, full disclosure, the
bank has foreclosed on my home.
428
00:17:52,328 --> 00:17:54,060
- Oh, Frank.
- Ah. There we go.
429
00:17:54,062 --> 00:17:56,130
So, this money would
help me get that back.
430
00:17:56,132 --> 00:17:57,463
That's pretty much why Raina left me.
431
00:17:57,465 --> 00:17:59,133
No, that's not why Raina left you.
432
00:17:59,135 --> 00:18:00,667
It's because you started
gambling on golf...
433
00:18:00,669 --> 00:18:02,402
- Yeah.
- True. Well, not just golf, but okay.
434
00:18:02,404 --> 00:18:04,605
And you developed an online porn addiction.
435
00:18:04,607 --> 00:18:07,307
Okay, it's not an addiction if you can
quit any time you want, which I can.
436
00:18:07,309 --> 00:18:09,576
- Then stop.
- I don't want to right now.
437
00:18:09,578 --> 00:18:12,813
Listen, I know I'm throwing a lot of
numbers at you guys, lot of financials.
438
00:18:12,815 --> 00:18:16,383
But let's not take away from the
fact that this is gonna be fun.
439
00:18:16,385 --> 00:18:18,384
Okay, but we're not
doing it for fun, right?
440
00:18:18,386 --> 00:18:20,221
- Eh...
- No, we aren't. No.
441
00:18:20,223 --> 00:18:23,089
- It's work.
- I think we're saying the same thing, all of us.
442
00:18:23,091 --> 00:18:24,991
Work hard, play hard. Everybody has fun.
443
00:18:24,993 --> 00:18:27,096
I think this slide will explain it.
444
00:18:27,996 --> 00:18:29,496
Hey-oh!
445
00:18:29,498 --> 00:18:31,498
- Look at that!
- Well, it just says "fun."
446
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,467
- It's fun.
- But it just says "fun."
447
00:18:33,469 --> 00:18:36,971
Yeah, it's gonna be a great time,
probably the best time of our lives.
448
00:18:36,973 --> 00:18:39,940
And we're gonna make crazy money.
449
00:18:39,942 --> 00:18:42,108
The graphics are great, but
it doesn't help us. It doesn't.
450
00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:44,944
I have one last slide to show you,
and I think it's the most important.
451
00:18:44,946 --> 00:18:46,247
Check this out.
452
00:18:46,249 --> 00:18:48,149
Look at Alex, right? Here she is.
453
00:18:48,151 --> 00:18:50,284
She's gone to college, Bucknell,
454
00:18:50,286 --> 00:18:52,786
top of her class,
built her own company.
455
00:18:52,788 --> 00:18:57,057
If she doesn't go to college,
boom! She's a homeless prostitute.
456
00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:59,093
She's a runaway on the streets,
457
00:18:59,095 --> 00:19:01,961
selling her tiny body for money.
458
00:19:01,963 --> 00:19:05,231
I don't like this. This is
very emotionally manipulative.
459
00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:06,799
Yeah, exactly.
460
00:19:06,801 --> 00:19:08,667
- May I speak with you privately, please?
- Right now?
461
00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:10,904
Yes, I'd love to talk to you
in the kitchen, if I could.
462
00:19:10,906 --> 00:19:12,107
Okay.
463
00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:17,379
Well?
464
00:19:18,414 --> 00:19:20,446
Thumbs up, right?
465
00:19:20,448 --> 00:19:23,083
I mean, the math. It seems to check out.
466
00:19:23,085 --> 00:19:24,550
Do this math.
467
00:19:24,552 --> 00:19:26,318
You're 40 years old and
you go to jail for 20 years.
468
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,487
How old are you when you get out?
469
00:19:27,489 --> 00:19:29,388
- Ninety. Hundred.
- No. Honey...
470
00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:32,925
- If I have some scratch paper, I can figure it out.
- Really fucking old!
471
00:19:32,927 --> 00:19:36,130
Besides, I don't wanna start
an illegal operation with...
472
00:19:36,132 --> 00:19:37,698
- Frank?
- Yes!
473
00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:39,866
- He's our best friend!
- No, he's your best friend.
474
00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:43,236
He's my long friend. We haven't
been friends since college.
475
00:19:43,238 --> 00:19:45,171
Besides, we promised Alex
476
00:19:45,173 --> 00:19:48,008
that we would spend time with
her before she went to college.
477
00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:50,844
But if we don't have the
money, she can't go to college.
478
00:19:50,846 --> 00:19:53,380
And then she's living
with us until she's 40,
479
00:19:53,382 --> 00:19:55,181
working as a banged-up cocktail waitress.
480
00:19:55,183 --> 00:19:57,517
She's gonna have tattoos with
weird guys' names on them.
481
00:19:57,519 --> 00:19:59,786
- She's gonna get a neck tattoo.
- Oh, my God.
482
00:19:59,788 --> 00:20:01,755
Of a hand trying to choke her.
483
00:20:01,757 --> 00:20:03,656
- That's gonna be Alex!
- I know. You don't think I know that?
484
00:20:03,658 --> 00:20:05,358
We need to figure this shit out!
485
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:08,260
Can we pull this off? I
mean, can we run a casino?
486
00:20:08,262 --> 00:20:09,762
It's a shady business
487
00:20:09,764 --> 00:20:13,133
with criminals, mobsters,
you know, with shady people.
488
00:20:13,135 --> 00:20:15,035
Look, we tried to play it safe,
489
00:20:15,037 --> 00:20:19,006
we've tried to play by the
rules, and it got us nowhere.
490
00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:20,339
What do we have to lose?
491
00:20:20,341 --> 00:20:21,474
Nothing.
492
00:20:21,476 --> 00:20:24,211
So, what do you guys think?
493
00:20:24,213 --> 00:20:26,281
Let's take a risk for Alex.
494
00:20:28,251 --> 00:20:29,816
All right, fuck it, I'm in.
495
00:20:29,818 --> 00:20:31,117
- Yes!
- Yeah!
496
00:20:32,788 --> 00:20:34,788
We'll do it here, my house.
497
00:20:34,790 --> 00:20:38,159
My hedges are crazy
high, so it's private.
498
00:20:38,161 --> 00:20:40,027
Plus, Raina took a
lot of the furniture,
499
00:20:40,029 --> 00:20:43,063
so we've got plenty
of room for tables.
500
00:20:43,065 --> 00:20:44,798
We need players. That's easy.
501
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,433
There's Martha. Her
husband left her last year,
502
00:20:47,435 --> 00:20:49,435
and now she runs book club
503
00:20:49,437 --> 00:20:52,205
and tries to suppress the rage
bubbling just beneath the surface.
504
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:55,842
There's Joe, retired at
30, taking care of his mom
505
00:20:55,844 --> 00:20:58,510
and bored out of his fucking mind.
506
00:20:58,512 --> 00:20:59,880
Then there's Reggie,
507
00:20:59,882 --> 00:21:02,015
who just made partner
at his law firm,
508
00:21:02,017 --> 00:21:05,318
which means he's got cash to
burn, but he's super stressed out.
509
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,387
He needs to blow off steam.
510
00:21:07,389 --> 00:21:10,457
Now, remember, this is
an underground casino.
511
00:21:10,459 --> 00:21:11,990
We can't park outside my house,
512
00:21:11,992 --> 00:21:14,795
or everyone will know,
including the cops.
513
00:21:14,797 --> 00:21:16,529
Park at Taylor's,
514
00:21:16,531 --> 00:21:18,333
buy something and keep the receipt
to prove you're a customer.
515
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:20,767
Don't attract attention.
516
00:21:20,769 --> 00:21:23,069
Remember, you're just
buying groceries.
517
00:21:23,071 --> 00:21:26,239
You're not on your way
to an illegal casino.
518
00:21:26,241 --> 00:21:27,974
Walk out to the back,
where the electrical wall
519
00:21:27,976 --> 00:21:30,510
and the wooden fence
meet by the woods.
520
00:21:35,916 --> 00:21:37,282
Ignore the sign.
521
00:21:37,284 --> 00:21:38,687
It's a decoy.
522
00:21:39,454 --> 00:21:40,921
Got it.
523
00:21:40,923 --> 00:21:42,422
Take the path through the woods,
524
00:21:42,424 --> 00:21:43,856
bear left at the fourth tree,
525
00:21:43,858 --> 00:21:45,895
and boom, you're
right in my backyard.
526
00:21:49,665 --> 00:21:51,198
Go down the basement stairs,
527
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,499
then knock three times
and give the password.
528
00:21:53,501 --> 00:21:54,971
Andre the Giant.
529
00:21:56,738 --> 00:21:59,972
- Welcome.
- Frank!
530
00:21:59,974 --> 00:22:01,407
When we open this door,
531
00:22:01,409 --> 00:22:02,808
don't get confused.
532
00:22:02,810 --> 00:22:04,813
It's still just Frank's house.
533
00:22:06,982 --> 00:22:08,584
Ta-da!
534
00:22:11,086 --> 00:22:12,486
What do you guys think?
535
00:22:12,488 --> 00:22:15,154
I mean, am I in the Bellagio right now,
536
00:22:15,156 --> 00:22:18,458
or am I three blocks from my
house? I genuinely don't know.
537
00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:20,926
This is the best day of my entire life.
538
00:22:20,928 --> 00:22:23,462
Thumbs up. Pretty good.
539
00:22:23,464 --> 00:22:25,499
And we can gamble here for real money?
540
00:22:25,501 --> 00:22:28,167
This isn't like one of those charity
things where you think you're winning,
541
00:22:28,169 --> 00:22:31,003
but then you have to give it to
cancer research or some bullshit?
542
00:22:31,005 --> 00:22:32,605
You win it, you keep it.
543
00:22:32,607 --> 00:22:35,407
- Okay, you know what, fuck book club!
- Fuck book club!
544
00:22:35,409 --> 00:22:36,942
On these notes,
545
00:22:36,944 --> 00:22:39,413
let the games of chance begin!
546
00:22:39,415 --> 00:22:40,982
Yeah!
547
00:22:47,155 --> 00:22:48,922
All right, man.
548
00:22:48,924 --> 00:22:50,123
Hit me right now!
549
00:22:50,125 --> 00:22:51,525
Hit it!
550
00:22:51,527 --> 00:22:53,359
Hit it down right there!
551
00:22:53,361 --> 00:22:54,595
And I lost!
552
00:22:54,597 --> 00:22:56,963
All right! Mama like!
553
00:22:56,965 --> 00:22:59,665
Now, we don't have five
years to make the money.
554
00:22:59,667 --> 00:23:01,034
We only have a month.
555
00:23:01,036 --> 00:23:03,368
So, we have to
reinvest our winnings.
556
00:23:03,370 --> 00:23:07,774
It's like I always say, "Back your
own horse, baby. Bet on yourself."
557
00:23:07,776 --> 00:23:12,448
We gotta invite everybody,
even Garvey and fucking Craig!
558
00:23:15,451 --> 00:23:18,117
Oh, did I win? That's fun.
559
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,921
I never played before. Isn't that funny?
560
00:23:20,923 --> 00:23:25,425
Anybody been to that Burrito
Hut over on Fox Meadow Lane?
561
00:23:25,427 --> 00:23:26,960
Yeah, it's a nightmare.
562
00:23:26,962 --> 00:23:29,328
You can't even get a
burrito out of there.
563
00:23:29,330 --> 00:23:31,531
People are getting so involved,
564
00:23:31,533 --> 00:23:33,665
they had to put a spit guard up,
565
00:23:33,667 --> 00:23:37,503
because people kept falling
into the vegetables.
566
00:23:37,505 --> 00:23:40,842
"More corn! I want more corn!"
567
00:23:52,387 --> 00:23:53,686
So, where are we at?
568
00:23:53,688 --> 00:23:55,888
All right.
569
00:23:55,890 --> 00:23:57,490
When all's said and done,
570
00:23:57,492 --> 00:23:59,494
we are...
571
00:24:00,095 --> 00:24:01,361
Down $3,500.
572
00:24:01,363 --> 00:24:03,297
- Yeah!
- Nice!
573
00:24:03,299 --> 00:24:04,998
- Wait.
- Up top!
574
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,699
- Down?
- Wait...
575
00:24:06,701 --> 00:24:09,068
Listen, Reggie went on a streak,
that comedian was very expensive.
576
00:24:09,070 --> 00:24:12,071
We're lucky that Joe lost
that $1,000 bet at the end.
577
00:24:12,073 --> 00:24:14,508
If he hadn't, you know where we'd be then.
578
00:24:14,510 --> 00:24:16,609
- Mmm-mmm. Where would we be?
- Really?
579
00:24:16,611 --> 00:24:19,311
We'd be down $5,500. It's simple math.
580
00:24:19,313 --> 00:24:21,881
Math gives him anxiety,
numbers make him nervous.
581
00:24:21,883 --> 00:24:24,084
A lot of people, you
know, break out in sweats
582
00:24:24,086 --> 00:24:27,019
and have heart palpitations
when they hear numbers out loud.
583
00:24:27,021 --> 00:24:28,454
That's not true at all.
584
00:24:28,456 --> 00:24:30,056
But, you know what, let's
not worry about that.
585
00:24:30,058 --> 00:24:32,025
Let's just focus on the positives,
586
00:24:32,027 --> 00:24:35,528
which is, down $3,500 is a great start.
587
00:24:35,530 --> 00:24:38,464
- Ooh. Bucknell.
- Ooh. What's this?
588
00:24:38,466 --> 00:24:40,467
50 million dollars?
589
00:24:40,469 --> 00:24:41,804
Thousand, honey.
590
00:24:43,405 --> 00:24:44,671
Oh, God.
591
00:24:44,673 --> 00:24:46,705
- My butt just got so tight.
- Yeah.
592
00:24:46,707 --> 00:24:48,807
- Hey, what's that?
- Hey.
593
00:24:48,809 --> 00:24:50,076
- What?
- Nothing.
594
00:24:50,078 --> 00:24:51,510
Hey.
595
00:24:51,512 --> 00:24:53,179
We gotta get a bell on you.
596
00:24:53,181 --> 00:24:56,415
- Sneaking up on us like that.
- Yeah.
597
00:24:56,417 --> 00:25:00,420
And so that's why your mother
and I will be working late,
598
00:25:00,422 --> 00:25:03,957
uh, every night,
599
00:25:03,959 --> 00:25:08,561
and on weekends for all of next month.
600
00:25:08,563 --> 00:25:12,031
Because you're working on
a super top secret project
601
00:25:12,033 --> 00:25:14,433
that you may or may not reveal to me later.
602
00:25:14,435 --> 00:25:16,303
Mmm-hmm. Yes, exactly, you get it.
603
00:25:16,305 --> 00:25:19,538
No, but I don't get it.
You're just being weird.
604
00:25:19,540 --> 00:25:21,074
You're acting weird,
605
00:25:21,076 --> 00:25:24,044
with your shifty eyes
and your sketchy posture.
606
00:25:24,046 --> 00:25:25,345
Sorry.
607
00:25:25,347 --> 00:25:27,980
Doesn't feel good to be
called names, does it? Weirdo.
608
00:25:27,982 --> 00:25:30,416
I thought we'd hang out a lot this summer.
609
00:25:30,418 --> 00:25:32,051
Are we still going school shopping?
610
00:25:32,053 --> 00:25:34,820
Yes! Absolutely, we're
gonna do all of those things.
611
00:25:34,822 --> 00:25:38,325
- While you work every night until 3:00 a.m.?
- You know what?
612
00:25:38,327 --> 00:25:41,260
You're kind of acting like a... Bitch.
613
00:25:41,262 --> 00:25:44,931
- What did you just say?
- I didn't say it.
614
00:25:44,933 --> 00:25:46,999
- I didn't vocalize it.
- Mom?
615
00:25:47,001 --> 00:25:50,403
If it walks like a duck and talks
like a duck, it's probably a...
616
00:25:50,405 --> 00:25:51,904
Bitch.
617
00:25:51,906 --> 00:25:53,472
You just said "bitch."
You just called me a bitch.
618
00:25:53,474 --> 00:25:55,141
Don't say that word.
619
00:25:55,143 --> 00:25:58,614
I just can't help but
feel like you're lying.
620
00:26:01,082 --> 00:26:03,083
Oh, my God!
621
00:26:03,085 --> 00:26:05,884
This is what I wanted to show
you guys. Pretty beautiful, right?
622
00:26:05,886 --> 00:26:09,090
- Not really.
- It's Thomas Kinkade, Master of Light.
623
00:26:09,957 --> 00:26:11,524
- It's mesmerizing.
- Yeah.
624
00:26:11,526 --> 00:26:14,230
But it's, oh, so much more.
625
00:26:15,230 --> 00:26:16,265
- Oh!
- Whoa!
626
00:26:17,232 --> 00:26:19,031
Crafty hiding spot, Frank.
627
00:26:19,033 --> 00:26:21,433
Each of these safes holds 100 grand.
628
00:26:21,435 --> 00:26:25,971
I know, because I cut paper into
money-size stacks and I checked.
629
00:26:25,973 --> 00:26:28,241
It took an incredibly long time.
630
00:26:28,243 --> 00:26:31,978
Now, if we fill all five
safes, that's 500 grand.
631
00:26:31,980 --> 00:26:34,548
250 for you, 250 for me.
632
00:26:34,550 --> 00:26:36,115
You guys can put Alex through college,
633
00:26:36,117 --> 00:26:38,116
and I can get my life back on track.
634
00:26:38,118 --> 00:26:40,252
Let's fill these fucking safes.
635
00:26:44,358 --> 00:26:45,759
Wow.
636
00:26:45,761 --> 00:26:47,794
Looks like we got some
heavy action tonight.
637
00:26:47,796 --> 00:26:50,195
Yeah, Reggie winning was the best
thing that could have happened to us.
638
00:26:50,197 --> 00:26:52,965
People actually think they
can win money at this place.
639
00:26:52,967 --> 00:26:54,334
We're giving people hope.
640
00:26:54,336 --> 00:26:57,205
There's at least one, two, three, four...
641
00:26:59,107 --> 00:27:01,106
There's at least 800
people in here tonight.
642
00:27:01,108 --> 00:27:04,012
There are max 35 people in this room.
643
00:27:12,253 --> 00:27:13,853
You got a 19!
644
00:27:13,855 --> 00:27:16,088
Yeah, I'll take advice from
the guy who's down four grand.
645
00:27:16,090 --> 00:27:17,990
- Is that what I'm supposed to do?
- Just leave.
646
00:27:17,992 --> 00:27:20,393
Please, will you leave,
so we can all win?
647
00:27:20,395 --> 00:27:22,627
- Hey, hey, hey.
- We could all win if you leave.
648
00:27:22,629 --> 00:27:25,765
Fellas, come on. What's the
beef? How can we squash it?
649
00:27:25,767 --> 00:27:28,500
This bo-bo here keeps
hitting on the worst hands.
650
00:27:28,502 --> 00:27:30,803
I play how I play. You
don't like it, you leave.
651
00:27:30,805 --> 00:27:32,372
And he's a thief.
652
00:27:32,374 --> 00:27:34,039
Where's my leaf blower, Garvey?
653
00:27:34,041 --> 00:27:36,209
I just thought maybe you'd
wanna rake a little bit more.
654
00:27:36,211 --> 00:27:39,112
You know, get some physical
activity, on account of you being fat.
655
00:27:39,114 --> 00:27:40,813
Hey, hey! Okay! Time out!
656
00:27:40,815 --> 00:27:42,816
Gentlemen, time out! Time out!
657
00:27:42,818 --> 00:27:43,849
You're 86'd.
658
00:27:43,851 --> 00:27:44,951
Come on!
659
00:27:46,287 --> 00:27:49,255
Right in my armpit! It's
such a sensitive area.
660
00:27:49,257 --> 00:27:51,524
- My gland.
- I'll squash the shit out of you!
661
00:27:51,526 --> 00:27:54,126
They'll be peeling you off
the ground, you sackless bitch.
662
00:27:54,128 --> 00:27:55,595
I'll bet 100 bucks on Reggie.
663
00:27:55,597 --> 00:27:57,329
He's gonna kick Garvey's ass!
664
00:27:57,331 --> 00:27:59,165
I will call that bet, sir.
665
00:27:59,167 --> 00:28:02,268
There is fear in Reggie's eyes.
I know a pussy when I see one.
666
00:28:02,270 --> 00:28:03,836
Only when you're looking down.
667
00:28:03,838 --> 00:28:05,538
Reggie, we got this.
668
00:28:05,540 --> 00:28:07,106
- Eat shit, Garvey.
- That's right.
669
00:28:07,108 --> 00:28:08,974
Laura, you wanna keep your mouth shut?
670
00:28:08,976 --> 00:28:10,276
You got a big fucking mouth.
671
00:28:10,278 --> 00:28:11,944
There's a StairMaster downstairs.
672
00:28:11,946 --> 00:28:13,846
Why don't you go stand
next to it and do nothing?
673
00:28:13,848 --> 00:28:16,382
You want a piece of these thighs?
You don't know what's coming.
674
00:28:16,384 --> 00:28:20,053
Everybody, shut the fuck up!
675
00:28:20,055 --> 00:28:22,153
Nobody is betting on this fight.
676
00:28:22,155 --> 00:28:23,522
- Thank you, Frank.
- What?
677
00:28:23,524 --> 00:28:25,090
- Come on.
- Yes.
678
00:28:25,092 --> 00:28:27,058
Unless you're betting with us!
679
00:28:27,060 --> 00:28:30,497
Damn skippy. Damn skippy.
That's right, I'm gonna...
680
00:28:32,067 --> 00:28:33,633
We're gonna bet on our friends fighting?
681
00:28:33,635 --> 00:28:35,867
Hell, yeah! Are you
kidding? We're a casino.
682
00:28:35,869 --> 00:28:38,837
Have you ever heard of Fight
Night? This is the same thing.
683
00:28:38,839 --> 00:28:40,906
Get your juices in there.
684
00:28:40,908 --> 00:28:42,808
Come on, Scott, these guys are gonna
beat the shit out of each other anyway.
685
00:28:42,810 --> 00:28:44,611
These dildos are gonna bet on it.
686
00:28:44,613 --> 00:28:47,512
We should be getting that
action. We're the house!
687
00:28:47,514 --> 00:28:50,182
- Honey...
- Hey! Who wants a fight?
688
00:28:50,184 --> 00:28:52,151
- Can't wait!
- Can't wait!
689
00:28:52,153 --> 00:28:54,619
- Who wants fight? Say, "Hey!"
- Hey!
690
00:28:54,621 --> 00:28:56,522
- Here we go, fight!
- Here we go!
691
00:29:00,194 --> 00:29:02,429
And we're gonna start a race war!
692
00:29:02,431 --> 00:29:03,730
Whoa! Whoa!
693
00:29:03,732 --> 00:29:06,232
Reggie, Reggie, that makes us nervous.
694
00:29:06,234 --> 00:29:10,202
This is just a fight between
two men of different races,
695
00:29:10,204 --> 00:29:13,071
fighting each other to
decide which race is superior.
696
00:29:13,073 --> 00:29:14,308
- Whoa!
- Nope, that sounds wrong.
697
00:29:15,409 --> 00:29:16,476
Black power!
698
00:29:25,419 --> 00:29:27,686
Welcome to Fight Night!
699
00:29:30,858 --> 00:29:33,192
In the corner closest
to the fireplace,
700
00:29:33,194 --> 00:29:36,563
weighing in at 220 pounds,
701
00:29:36,565 --> 00:29:40,799
Reggie "The Rocket" Whaler.
702
00:29:48,876 --> 00:29:51,911
And in this corner,
703
00:29:51,913 --> 00:29:54,413
weighing in at 180 pounds,
704
00:29:54,415 --> 00:29:55,748
give it up for Kevin
705
00:29:55,750 --> 00:29:59,719
"I Didn't Know His First
Name Was Kevin" Garvey!
706
00:30:02,857 --> 00:30:04,824
Now, murder each other!
707
00:30:19,573 --> 00:30:21,476
Wow. That was fast.
708
00:30:25,579 --> 00:30:27,213
Reggie is the winner!
709
00:30:29,818 --> 00:30:31,651
This is bullshit. I want my money back.
710
00:30:31,653 --> 00:30:33,586
Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
711
00:30:33,588 --> 00:30:36,288
Laura, why don't you shove that
chicken dinner right up your asshole?
712
00:30:36,290 --> 00:30:38,258
And then bring it to my potluck.
713
00:30:38,260 --> 00:30:40,425
For the love of God, if you
bring up that potluck again...
714
00:30:40,427 --> 00:30:43,431
Ladies, uh-uh! Cool your jets!
715
00:30:44,899 --> 00:30:46,200
Yeah.
716
00:30:46,934 --> 00:30:49,501
Save it for the ring!
717
00:31:18,933 --> 00:31:20,967
- Mmm!
- Oh!
718
00:31:20,969 --> 00:31:23,635
What's my name? I'm Martha!
719
00:31:39,052 --> 00:31:40,289
Yes, come on. Fight!
720
00:31:45,493 --> 00:31:47,093
Yeah!
721
00:31:47,095 --> 00:31:49,429
Fuck you, Craig!
722
00:31:49,431 --> 00:31:51,834
I don't know why I love this so much!
723
00:31:57,539 --> 00:32:00,107
Eat her fucking face off, Martha!
724
00:32:26,902 --> 00:32:28,601
Oh, oh!
725
00:32:28,603 --> 00:32:29,938
She doored her!
726
00:32:39,313 --> 00:32:40,882
Oh!
727
00:32:48,490 --> 00:32:49,491
Oh!
728
00:32:50,825 --> 00:32:52,294
Double knockout?
729
00:32:54,228 --> 00:32:56,862
- Whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
- What does that mean?
730
00:32:56,864 --> 00:33:00,499
Okay, the good news is we don't
have a prop bet to cover that,
731
00:33:00,501 --> 00:33:02,835
so the house wins everything!
732
00:33:38,873 --> 00:33:40,038
Whoo, I'm feeling pretty good.
733
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:41,508
Yeah, me, too.
734
00:33:41,510 --> 00:33:43,679
Can I talk to you in the
laundry room for a second?
735
00:33:50,251 --> 00:33:51,951
This is why I'm not
worried about next year.
736
00:33:51,953 --> 00:33:53,622
No. Not in the least.
737
00:33:58,358 --> 00:34:00,192
Is this a real microscope?
738
00:34:00,194 --> 00:34:03,395
Yeah, dude. You can get high and
look at ants at the same time.
739
00:34:08,036 --> 00:34:10,134
We never walk at night.
740
00:34:10,136 --> 00:34:13,238
- So nice to walk.
- So beautiful.
741
00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:15,707
I drive everywhere. It's
just nice to get out...
742
00:34:15,709 --> 00:34:16,776
Excuse me, beep-beep.
743
00:34:16,778 --> 00:34:18,511
Beep-beep.
744
00:34:18,513 --> 00:34:19,912
Hey, ow. Hey.
745
00:34:19,914 --> 00:34:21,680
- Hey.
- Ow. Hey, ow.
746
00:34:21,682 --> 00:34:23,982
Ow.
747
00:34:23,984 --> 00:34:25,517
- I'm gonna pee outside.
- What?
748
00:34:25,519 --> 00:34:27,819
- I'm gonna take a pee outside.
- What are you doing?
749
00:34:27,821 --> 00:34:28,988
I'm gonna do it.
750
00:34:28,990 --> 00:34:30,725
What, are you kidding? Come on.
751
00:34:35,463 --> 00:34:37,162
- She's doing it.
- Yes! Yes!
752
00:34:37,164 --> 00:34:39,865
- You're so good at it.
- This is the real me!
753
00:34:39,867 --> 00:34:40,933
Yes.
754
00:34:40,935 --> 00:34:42,137
Yes!
755
00:34:43,872 --> 00:34:46,004
"Pee Outside" Kate is back!
756
00:34:46,006 --> 00:34:48,941
- You do it. You're doing it.
- This is my lawn.
757
00:34:48,943 --> 00:34:50,542
- You're a woman.
- This is my lawn.
758
00:34:50,544 --> 00:34:52,214
God, you got a lot of pee-pee.
759
00:34:53,747 --> 00:34:56,381
- Oh, shit!
- What?
760
00:34:56,383 --> 00:34:57,883
Fuck, it's my parents!
761
00:34:57,885 --> 00:34:59,321
God damn it! Quick!
762
00:35:03,191 --> 00:35:04,689
Is she still looking?
763
00:35:04,691 --> 00:35:06,993
Guys, I'm feeling, like,
really nervous right now.
764
00:35:06,995 --> 00:35:08,493
- You want some weed?
- Huh?
765
00:35:08,495 --> 00:35:11,096
We can totally go talk to
her like regular people.
766
00:35:11,098 --> 00:35:14,232
- How drunk are you?
- I'm fine.
767
00:35:14,234 --> 00:35:16,035
How many fingers do I have up?
768
00:35:16,037 --> 00:35:17,703
Don't do that.
769
00:35:17,705 --> 00:35:18,904
Who's the president?
770
00:35:18,906 --> 00:35:20,506
The president?
771
00:35:20,508 --> 00:35:22,140
Bah...
772
00:35:22,142 --> 00:35:24,509
- Ba-Obama.
- Mmm-hmm.
773
00:35:24,511 --> 00:35:27,046
The back, the back, they
never come in through the back.
774
00:35:27,048 --> 00:35:28,747
We'll just sneak through there.
775
00:35:28,749 --> 00:35:30,183
We'll go around the back.
776
00:35:30,185 --> 00:35:31,783
- Yeah. No, we never go through the back.
- Let's do it.
777
00:35:31,785 --> 00:35:33,187
- Go.
- Go.
778
00:35:42,363 --> 00:35:43,928
What are you doing?
779
00:35:43,930 --> 00:35:45,533
Sorry. I'm so high.
780
00:35:49,669 --> 00:35:50,838
The coast is clear.
781
00:35:57,979 --> 00:35:59,477
Oh!
782
00:35:59,479 --> 00:36:01,013
- Do you hear something?
- What is it? Raccoons?
783
00:36:01,015 --> 00:36:02,080
It sounds human.
784
00:36:02,082 --> 00:36:03,452
- Go.
- Okay.
785
00:36:16,696 --> 00:36:19,332
- It's good. Rachel...
- It's Rachel.
786
00:36:19,334 --> 00:36:21,834
- And Alex. Hey!
- Hey!
787
00:36:21,836 --> 00:36:22,868
Alex.
788
00:36:22,870 --> 00:36:24,136
- Hey!
- Hey!
789
00:36:24,138 --> 00:36:26,107
What's up, guys?
790
00:36:27,075 --> 00:36:28,276
I got them.
791
00:36:29,008 --> 00:36:31,076
Sorry. Sorry, Rachel.
792
00:36:31,078 --> 00:36:33,845
- Alex sandwich.
- Alex sandwich.
793
00:36:33,847 --> 00:36:35,113
Oh, God.
794
00:36:36,984 --> 00:36:39,084
Aw, sweetie.
795
00:36:39,086 --> 00:36:40,919
You guys have fun tonight?
796
00:36:40,921 --> 00:36:42,254
Great hug.
797
00:36:42,256 --> 00:36:44,122
Okay, this went great. We're fine.
798
00:36:44,124 --> 00:36:45,825
Night-night.
799
00:36:45,827 --> 00:36:47,395
I'm gonna go pee.
800
00:36:48,995 --> 00:36:50,464
And I'm good.
801
00:36:53,033 --> 00:36:54,368
Oh, God.
802
00:36:55,202 --> 00:36:56,504
Oh, God.
803
00:37:09,850 --> 00:37:11,616
Oh...
804
00:37:11,618 --> 00:37:14,053
Good thing it's a container store.
805
00:37:14,055 --> 00:37:16,223
There's containers everywhere.
806
00:37:21,729 --> 00:37:23,227
Honey?
807
00:37:23,229 --> 00:37:25,900
Yeah. I'm just gonna lie
down. Check some emails.
808
00:37:28,836 --> 00:37:29,838
Um...
809
00:37:30,571 --> 00:37:31,573
Fuck.
810
00:37:39,847 --> 00:37:41,850
Excuse me one second.
811
00:37:45,185 --> 00:37:46,718
Oh...
812
00:37:46,720 --> 00:37:47,819
Raina?
813
00:37:47,821 --> 00:37:49,721
You're the Raina of Raina's Hair Salon?
814
00:37:49,723 --> 00:37:52,591
Okay, what are you doing here?
You got the divorce papers?
815
00:37:52,593 --> 00:37:54,258
Listen, I'm onto something big.
816
00:37:54,260 --> 00:37:55,593
- Oh, God.
- Okay?
817
00:37:55,595 --> 00:37:57,196
No, and it's not some harebrained scheme
818
00:37:57,198 --> 00:37:58,598
that I cooked up with my friends.
819
00:37:58,600 --> 00:37:59,932
- I'm gonna get the house back...
- Cool.
820
00:37:59,934 --> 00:38:02,033
And we're not gonna need to get divorced.
821
00:38:02,035 --> 00:38:04,337
It's not gonna need to even
happen. I'm gonna make it up to you.
822
00:38:04,339 --> 00:38:05,604
- Are you gambling again?
- What?
823
00:38:05,606 --> 00:38:06,906
- Is that what this is?
- No, no.
824
00:38:06,908 --> 00:38:08,473
- You gambling again?
- No. And in fact...
825
00:38:08,475 --> 00:38:11,213
- Uh-huh.
- I'm not gambling.
826
00:38:13,781 --> 00:38:16,147
- Why'd you say it like that?
- What do you mean?
827
00:38:16,149 --> 00:38:19,317
- No. Sorry, I'm just saying, in terms of gambling...
- Yeah.
828
00:38:19,319 --> 00:38:22,020
People might be doing it, but I'm not.
829
00:38:22,022 --> 00:38:24,691
- You just did it again.
- What? I'm not gambling.
830
00:38:24,693 --> 00:38:26,892
- "I'm not gambling"?
- Yeah, that's right.
831
00:38:26,894 --> 00:38:29,127
All right, I'm not gonna
argue with you. You look nice.
832
00:38:29,129 --> 00:38:30,529
Oh, thanks.
833
00:38:30,531 --> 00:38:31,964
Well, you smell good.
I mean, you look good.
834
00:38:31,966 --> 00:38:33,298
- What? Okay. No, yeah.
- I mean, you're nice.
835
00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:34,834
I'm not doing this.
836
00:38:34,836 --> 00:38:39,571
Just because you've
showered and you look great,
837
00:38:39,573 --> 00:38:41,009
it doesn't mean you've changed.
838
00:38:45,113 --> 00:38:47,448
Yes! Yes! Yes!
839
00:38:49,984 --> 00:38:53,084
You might notice that I've
made some Vegas-style upgrades.
840
00:38:53,086 --> 00:38:55,220
Welcome to Club Ooze.
841
00:38:55,222 --> 00:38:58,191
Because what does every casino
need, but a kick-ass pool.
842
00:38:58,193 --> 00:39:01,060
You're done gambling, what
are you gonna do? Go home? No.
843
00:39:01,062 --> 00:39:03,995
You're gonna come out here,
get a drink, party in the pool
844
00:39:03,997 --> 00:39:06,798
and then back inside to lose more money.
845
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,567
How much did all of this cost?
846
00:39:08,569 --> 00:39:10,472
You know that old saying,
"Spend money to make money."
847
00:39:11,004 --> 00:39:12,470
Hmm.
848
00:39:12,472 --> 00:39:15,508
- Now, this I'm very excited about.
- Oh, wow.
849
00:39:15,510 --> 00:39:17,109
These are pure oxygen tanks.
850
00:39:17,111 --> 00:39:19,314
I'm pumping it into the
house, and guess what...
851
00:39:20,314 --> 00:39:22,413
It works.
852
00:39:22,415 --> 00:39:24,584
Welcome to the relaxation zone.
853
00:39:24,586 --> 00:39:28,654
We've got a nail salon,
we've got massages, shiatsu,
854
00:39:28,656 --> 00:39:30,925
deep tissue and hand jobs.
855
00:39:37,231 --> 00:39:40,832
Bob... I think we really need to start.
856
00:39:40,834 --> 00:39:42,468
I'll start when everyone's here.
857
00:39:42,470 --> 00:39:44,606
- Stop it.
- What?
858
00:39:47,107 --> 00:39:48,973
Where is everyone, Laura?
859
00:39:48,975 --> 00:39:51,076
Nowhere. Why do you
think they're somewhere?
860
00:39:51,078 --> 00:39:54,113
Why are you wearing
sunglasses in town hall?
861
00:39:54,115 --> 00:39:55,383
'Cause...
862
00:39:56,216 --> 00:39:57,582
my future's so bright.
863
00:39:57,584 --> 00:39:59,718
Well, I find it
highly disrespectful.
864
00:39:59,720 --> 00:40:01,790
Would you please
remove the sunglasses?
865
00:40:03,189 --> 00:40:04,857
- Fine.
- Ugh.
866
00:40:04,859 --> 00:40:06,027
Oh, my God.
867
00:40:07,627 --> 00:40:08,894
What happened?
868
00:40:08,896 --> 00:40:10,861
This looks way worse than it is.
869
00:40:10,863 --> 00:40:12,230
What are you hiding, Laura?
870
00:40:12,232 --> 00:40:13,765
What's that face?
871
00:40:13,767 --> 00:40:15,868
- Oh, you wanna fight me, Bob?
- What?
872
00:40:15,870 --> 00:40:17,303
Is that what this is about, Bob?
873
00:40:17,305 --> 00:40:18,770
'Cause I'll tell you right now,
874
00:40:18,772 --> 00:40:21,675
I'll headbutt you to next Tuesday, bitch!
875
00:40:24,111 --> 00:40:25,310
- Well...
- Okay.
876
00:40:25,312 --> 00:40:27,145
This town hall meeting is suspended
877
00:40:27,147 --> 00:40:30,417
until I find out what's going
on around town, all right?
878
00:41:14,327 --> 00:41:17,296
I can't believe no one showed
up at the goddamn meeting.
879
00:41:17,298 --> 00:41:22,200
And I was going to announce that Panera
was opening a location on Butler Ave.
880
00:41:22,202 --> 00:41:23,604
Panera Bread?
881
00:41:25,238 --> 00:41:27,006
Wow. Great get, Bob.
882
00:41:28,075 --> 00:41:29,941
My God, you do so much for this town.
883
00:41:29,943 --> 00:41:33,211
It's a 24/7 job. But I love it.
884
00:41:33,213 --> 00:41:36,751
Plus, means I get to
spend more time with you.
885
00:41:37,218 --> 00:41:38,283
Stop.
886
00:41:38,285 --> 00:41:39,787
- What?
- Stop it.
887
00:41:44,825 --> 00:41:46,357
Were you guys holding hands?
888
00:41:46,359 --> 00:41:48,259
Yeah. We were holding hands,
Chandler, you know why?
889
00:41:48,261 --> 00:41:50,129
- Yeah.
- 'Cause we're having an affair.
890
00:41:50,131 --> 00:41:51,263
Yeah.
891
00:41:51,265 --> 00:41:53,098
Nine and a half months,
emotional and physical.
892
00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:55,334
Yep. He knows about
all my hopes and dreams.
893
00:41:55,336 --> 00:41:57,903
Yeah, yeah, I plead with
her to leave her husband,
894
00:41:57,905 --> 00:42:01,075
but in reality, I would be
sort of scared if she did.
895
00:42:02,276 --> 00:42:03,741
That's so specific.
896
00:42:03,743 --> 00:42:05,711
It just sounds like it's true.
897
00:42:05,713 --> 00:42:07,979
No, there's nothing going
on with us, Chandler.
898
00:42:07,981 --> 00:42:09,982
But there is something
going on in this town.
899
00:42:09,984 --> 00:42:12,250
I've been noticing a lot of
crazy shit going on in this town.
900
00:42:12,252 --> 00:42:15,620
Over at Taylor's Meat Market at night,
the parking lot is really crowded.
901
00:42:15,622 --> 00:42:17,288
Maybe there's some flank steaks
902
00:42:17,290 --> 00:42:19,758
that are starting a gang over there.
903
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,294
Looks like a pork chop prostitution ring.
904
00:42:23,597 --> 00:42:25,162
Now leave, so we can have sex.
905
00:42:25,164 --> 00:42:27,067
Yeah.
906
00:42:29,002 --> 00:42:32,069
Okay, I'll get the
blinds. But make it quick.
907
00:42:40,180 --> 00:42:41,580
How are we looking tonight?
908
00:42:41,582 --> 00:42:43,015
Garvey caught a heater in blackjack,
909
00:42:43,017 --> 00:42:45,183
but we're killing it in roulette.
910
00:42:45,185 --> 00:42:48,953
Good call hiring that Judy, by
the way, she destroys people.
911
00:42:48,955 --> 00:42:51,191
- She's a bad-ass bitch.
- Hi, Judy.
912
00:42:53,026 --> 00:42:54,493
You're very smart with this stuff.
913
00:42:54,495 --> 00:42:55,797
Very shrewd.
914
00:42:57,397 --> 00:42:59,531
- Where'd you get that?
- This?
915
00:42:59,533 --> 00:43:02,633
Joe gave it to me. Some sticky-icky
hybrid. It chills me the fuck out.
916
00:43:02,635 --> 00:43:04,002
You want some?
917
00:43:04,004 --> 00:43:05,937
No. No, I'm good. Maybe later.
918
00:43:05,939 --> 00:43:08,906
I gotta stay vigilant.
Keep my eye on the prize.
919
00:43:08,908 --> 00:43:11,509
Yeah. Weed is so great, you know?
920
00:43:11,511 --> 00:43:13,345
When I smoke it, I feel nothing.
921
00:43:13,347 --> 00:43:15,848
It's like emotional armor, man.
922
00:43:15,850 --> 00:43:18,316
Alex is gone next year, who cares?
923
00:43:18,318 --> 00:43:19,953
I got weed.
924
00:43:20,955 --> 00:43:22,687
- And me.
- And you, yes.
925
00:43:22,689 --> 00:43:25,658
Guys, we've got a problem.
926
00:43:25,660 --> 00:43:27,392
Table four, third guy from the left.
927
00:43:27,394 --> 00:43:30,029
This motherfucker right
here is counting cards.
928
00:43:30,031 --> 00:43:33,635
How do you know? If I'm gonna accuse
someone of cheating, I wanna be sure.
929
00:43:38,673 --> 00:43:40,038
- He's cheating.
- Yeah.
930
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:42,207
- He's definitely cheating.
- That's so rude.
931
00:43:42,209 --> 00:43:44,075
If people think you can
come in here and cheat,
932
00:43:44,077 --> 00:43:46,145
the street is gonna think we're soft.
933
00:43:46,147 --> 00:43:49,348
Yeah. Every Blackjack Barry and Roulette
Rob's gonna think it's open season.
934
00:43:49,350 --> 00:43:51,616
We gotta do something to send a message.
935
00:43:51,618 --> 00:43:53,285
- Yep.
- Like De Niro in Casino.
936
00:43:53,287 --> 00:43:56,589
Didn't he break that
guy's hand with a hammer?
937
00:43:56,591 --> 00:43:57,792
Yeah.
938
00:44:01,794 --> 00:44:03,296
- Okay.
- Yeah.
939
00:44:03,298 --> 00:44:04,763
Yeah.
940
00:44:04,765 --> 00:44:06,667
- All right. Okay.
- Yeah.
941
00:44:10,104 --> 00:44:11,236
Kazowee!
942
00:44:13,106 --> 00:44:15,140
Excuse me, can we have
a word with you, please?
943
00:44:15,142 --> 00:44:18,111
Yeah, I'd love another Grey
Goose on the rocks, extra lime.
944
00:44:19,414 --> 00:44:21,680
Come on, let's go. Let's go.
945
00:44:21,682 --> 00:44:23,048
Enjoy your gambling.
946
00:44:23,050 --> 00:44:24,216
- Get in here.
- All right, okay.
947
00:44:24,218 --> 00:44:25,551
- Get in here!
- Watch the jacket.
948
00:44:25,553 --> 00:44:27,118
- Sit down!
- Sit down!
949
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:28,819
You think you can cheat us?
950
00:44:28,821 --> 00:44:30,723
You think you can steal our money?
951
00:44:30,725 --> 00:44:34,625
I got lucky. I didn't know it
was illegal to catch a hot streak.
952
00:44:34,627 --> 00:44:36,462
Well, your luck just ran out, man,
953
00:44:36,464 --> 00:44:38,596
because me and my friends
about to fuck you up!
954
00:44:38,598 --> 00:44:40,598
- Yeah!
- Hey, pal.
955
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,801
You better call your momma and tell
her you're gonna be late for dinner.
956
00:44:43,803 --> 00:44:47,605
Which is a shame, 'cause she's
serving your favorite, coconut shrimps!
957
00:44:47,607 --> 00:44:49,174
Hey, you're gonna miss dinner, bitch!
958
00:44:49,176 --> 00:44:51,042
We had your mom's shrimp last night.
959
00:44:51,044 --> 00:44:53,078
- Yeah!
- It was delicious!
960
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,613
What are you guys gonna do about it
anyway? You're a bunch of soccer moms.
961
00:44:55,615 --> 00:44:58,850
You ever hear of Tommy
Papouli? He's my boss.
962
00:44:58,852 --> 00:45:02,154
You know what? Fuck this
guy. And fuck Tommy whoever.
963
00:45:02,156 --> 00:45:04,924
I'd like to introduce you
to my friend, Mr. Vice.
964
00:45:04,926 --> 00:45:07,491
- How does that feel?
- Yeah, I got it.
965
00:45:07,493 --> 00:45:08,694
Coat's coming off, bitch!
966
00:45:08,696 --> 00:45:10,298
- Coming off!
- Oh!
967
00:45:16,403 --> 00:45:19,806
You taking your jacket back to Marshalls?
968
00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:23,942
- Oh, shit!
- I'm gonna get me a chunk of flesh.
969
00:45:23,944 --> 00:45:27,446
Yeah! Yeah, maybe we'll
cut your fucking dick off.
970
00:45:27,448 --> 00:45:28,779
Oh, shit!
971
00:45:28,781 --> 00:45:30,549
Oh, shit!
972
00:45:30,551 --> 00:45:32,551
This shit just got real, bro!
973
00:45:32,553 --> 00:45:33,986
I'm so scared.
974
00:45:33,988 --> 00:45:36,055
- You're looking at a bad man.
- Ooh.
975
00:45:36,057 --> 00:45:38,390
- This motherfucker don't give a shit.
- Yep.
976
00:45:38,392 --> 00:45:41,826
- This axe is burning a hole in my pocket.
- What are we doing?
977
00:45:41,828 --> 00:45:43,462
Can we just conference on what we're doing?
978
00:45:43,464 --> 00:45:45,729
- We're gonna... Just you wait.
- Hold on.
979
00:45:45,731 --> 00:45:47,933
We need to focus up and
figure out what we're gonna do.
980
00:45:47,935 --> 00:45:49,533
- Honey, are you still stoned?
- What?
981
00:45:49,535 --> 00:45:51,169
Yes!
982
00:45:51,171 --> 00:45:52,805
I am also stoned and
nothing is more clear
983
00:45:52,807 --> 00:45:54,807
than the fact that we
need to murder this guy.
984
00:45:54,809 --> 00:45:56,709
Just to be clear, we're pretending, though,
985
00:45:56,711 --> 00:45:58,477
we're not gonna actually do that.
986
00:45:58,479 --> 00:46:00,513
We have to send a message,
okay? We have to send a message.
987
00:46:00,515 --> 00:46:01,879
Yeah!
988
00:46:01,881 --> 00:46:03,682
You're bluffing.
989
00:46:03,684 --> 00:46:05,950
You're not gonna do shit.
990
00:46:05,952 --> 00:46:08,720
You're not gonna do jack shit, Paul Bunyan.
991
00:46:08,722 --> 00:46:10,355
- He's a jerk!
- He's making it easy.
992
00:46:10,357 --> 00:46:12,290
You know what? I'm gonna do this.
993
00:46:12,292 --> 00:46:13,457
I'm gonna do this.
994
00:46:13,459 --> 00:46:15,194
Hey, hey, hey, hold on.
995
00:46:15,196 --> 00:46:16,761
- Fuck off! You're not gonna do shit.
- No, I'm gonna use...
996
00:46:16,763 --> 00:46:18,564
Tommy's gonna kick your fucking ass.
997
00:46:18,566 --> 00:46:20,198
Fuck you!
998
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,436
- Don't wrestle with the fucking axe!
- Fuck you all!
999
00:46:27,441 --> 00:46:30,375
- Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
- Shut the fuck up, Frank!
1000
00:46:30,377 --> 00:46:33,011
- Put it back on! Put it back on!
- I'm trying to find it!
1001
00:46:33,013 --> 00:46:34,279
I'm trying to find it!
1002
00:46:34,281 --> 00:46:36,814
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Shut up!
1003
00:46:36,816 --> 00:46:38,017
Apply pressure, man.
1004
00:46:38,019 --> 00:46:39,718
- Please, apply pressure.
- I'm trying!
1005
00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:41,787
It's so slippery!
1006
00:46:41,789 --> 00:46:43,921
It won't fit on! It won't fit back on!
1007
00:46:43,923 --> 00:46:45,691
Honey, please get it on.
1008
00:46:45,693 --> 00:46:48,526
I don't know if it's up or
down. Does anyone have any gum?
1009
00:46:48,528 --> 00:46:50,863
I'm just gonna put it right
there, maybe it'll grow back.
1010
00:46:50,865 --> 00:46:52,665
- Oh, God!
- Oh, my God, the blood!
1011
00:46:52,667 --> 00:46:54,732
Could this help?
1012
00:46:54,734 --> 00:46:56,868
Put that Croc on there.
1013
00:46:58,939 --> 00:47:01,406
So salty! I'm swallowing so much blood!
1014
00:47:01,408 --> 00:47:02,973
You cut off my fucking finger!
1015
00:47:04,111 --> 00:47:05,977
What the fuck just happened?
1016
00:47:05,979 --> 00:47:07,879
Tell your friends, if they mess with us,
1017
00:47:07,881 --> 00:47:10,084
this is what... They're gonna get.
1018
00:47:27,267 --> 00:47:29,667
Nothing ever happens in this neighborhood.
1019
00:47:40,513 --> 00:47:41,745
Oh.
1020
00:47:47,655 --> 00:47:49,053
Sweetheart!
1021
00:47:49,055 --> 00:47:50,821
- Scott?
- Where are you going?
1022
00:47:50,823 --> 00:47:53,093
Where are you going
Don't go in there, buddy!
1023
00:48:38,504 --> 00:48:40,906
No, I swear to God, I'm looking,
Reggie. I'm not finding it.
1024
00:48:40,908 --> 00:48:44,908
In my experience, money lost in
the woods does not easily get found.
1025
00:48:44,910 --> 00:48:48,046
Oh, fuck. Oh!
1026
00:48:48,048 --> 00:48:49,881
Buddy, great news.
1027
00:48:49,883 --> 00:48:51,283
Excuse me, sir?
1028
00:48:51,285 --> 00:48:54,019
- I'll call you back.
- What are you doing out here?
1029
00:48:54,021 --> 00:48:56,189
Um... Uh...
1030
00:48:59,892 --> 00:49:01,258
Jogging.
1031
00:49:01,260 --> 00:49:03,895
You don't appear to be jogging.
1032
00:49:03,897 --> 00:49:07,397
- Well, now you're jogging.
- You caught me in a cooldown. Whoo!
1033
00:49:07,399 --> 00:49:09,299
What'd you put in your pocket?
1034
00:49:09,301 --> 00:49:11,535
Very slowly. Very slowly
with the hand, sir.
1035
00:49:11,537 --> 00:49:14,605
- Very slowly, take it out of your pocket.
- Okay, Officer.
1036
00:49:14,607 --> 00:49:19,343
I think, earlier, you just saw
me put this phone in my pocket,
1037
00:49:19,345 --> 00:49:21,647
which is now videotaping you.
1038
00:49:21,649 --> 00:49:24,482
I don't feel safe, I don't feel safe.
1039
00:49:24,484 --> 00:49:26,084
I am Frank Theodorakis.
1040
00:49:26,086 --> 00:49:28,419
I don't feel safe in the woods,
the police are harassing me.
1041
00:49:28,421 --> 00:49:30,555
Hello, everyone, I'm Officer Chandler,
1042
00:49:30,557 --> 00:49:33,424
and I'm here protecting as well as serving.
1043
00:49:33,426 --> 00:49:35,359
What are you, like, doing a PSA?
1044
00:49:35,361 --> 00:49:37,095
Well, if you're filming this.
1045
00:49:37,097 --> 00:49:39,163
Look at you, you put your
hands on your hips immediately.
1046
00:49:39,165 --> 00:49:40,732
You look ridiculous.
1047
00:49:40,734 --> 00:49:41,799
I will end you!
1048
00:49:41,801 --> 00:49:43,500
I will end your life!
1049
00:49:43,502 --> 00:49:45,437
Whoa! Whoa, man!
1050
00:49:45,439 --> 00:49:48,640
I'm sorry that I said that, everyone,
1051
00:49:48,642 --> 00:49:49,875
and I...
1052
00:49:49,877 --> 00:49:51,475
am gonna...
1053
00:49:51,477 --> 00:49:53,479
What's that? I'm gonna
respond to this call.
1054
00:49:53,481 --> 00:49:55,346
What call? Nothing happened.
It didn't say anything.
1055
00:49:55,348 --> 00:49:58,017
There's a disturbance in the force.
1056
00:49:58,019 --> 00:50:00,154
There's a disturbance in the police force.
1057
00:50:14,801 --> 00:50:16,600
Dad.
1058
00:50:16,602 --> 00:50:18,102
What...
1059
00:50:18,104 --> 00:50:19,337
Dad, it's just...
1060
00:50:19,339 --> 00:50:20,971
It's just, it's good... Dad!
1061
00:50:20,973 --> 00:50:22,309
Don't touch 'em!
1062
00:50:23,209 --> 00:50:25,278
Hey, did you see the game?
1063
00:50:29,283 --> 00:50:31,218
Stay away from the meat section!
1064
00:50:32,352 --> 00:50:33,951
Hey, there you are.
1065
00:50:33,953 --> 00:50:36,323
Everybody's looking for you
downstairs. What's going on?
1066
00:50:37,557 --> 00:50:39,026
- Hey.
- Hey.
1067
00:50:40,426 --> 00:50:43,127
- So many buttholes, so little time, huh?
- Yeah.
1068
00:50:43,129 --> 00:50:45,897
You okay, man? You seem a little off today.
1069
00:50:45,899 --> 00:50:48,767
I don't know. Something's changed, Frank.
1070
00:50:48,769 --> 00:50:50,767
I chopped a man's finger off.
1071
00:50:50,769 --> 00:50:54,605
And ever since that moment,
I've just been barraged
1072
00:50:54,607 --> 00:50:56,040
with a series of
1073
00:50:56,042 --> 00:50:58,375
anxiety-induced hallucinations.
1074
00:50:58,377 --> 00:51:01,845
They're hallucinations. They're not real.
1075
00:51:01,847 --> 00:51:03,750
You know what is real?
1076
00:51:06,986 --> 00:51:08,720
This is real.
1077
00:51:08,722 --> 00:51:10,055
This is real.
1078
00:51:10,057 --> 00:51:11,857
This is real.
1079
00:51:11,859 --> 00:51:13,325
And this is real.
1080
00:51:13,327 --> 00:51:15,192
And do you know where
all that money came from?
1081
00:51:15,194 --> 00:51:17,729
- Hmm.
- From you.
1082
00:51:17,731 --> 00:51:19,997
You chopped that guy's finger off,
1083
00:51:19,999 --> 00:51:21,933
and the whole town became afraid.
1084
00:51:21,935 --> 00:51:24,468
- You know what they're calling you on the street?
- Uh-uh.
1085
00:51:24,470 --> 00:51:25,404
The Butcher.
1086
00:51:25,406 --> 00:51:27,071
They're so afraid of us,
1087
00:51:27,073 --> 00:51:29,674
people are starting to give
us the money they owe us.
1088
00:51:29,676 --> 00:51:32,009
I didn't know people owed us money.
1089
00:51:32,011 --> 00:51:33,944
Oh, I've been extending lines of credit
1090
00:51:33,946 --> 00:51:35,546
to all of our high rollers.
1091
00:51:35,548 --> 00:51:37,415
All the casinos do it. It's not a big deal.
1092
00:51:37,417 --> 00:51:40,285
Frank, you didn't tell me that.
1093
00:51:40,287 --> 00:51:41,685
And that's a huge decision.
1094
00:51:41,687 --> 00:51:43,287
You need to let Kate
and I be a part of that.
1095
00:51:43,289 --> 00:51:45,624
It's a moot point now, okay? It's done.
1096
00:51:45,626 --> 00:51:46,725
Everybody's afraid that
1097
00:51:46,727 --> 00:51:48,493
you're gonna take them into the garage
1098
00:51:48,495 --> 00:51:51,162
and chop some piece of
their body off. All right?
1099
00:51:51,164 --> 00:51:52,798
"The Butcher" is our identity.
1100
00:51:54,767 --> 00:51:56,634
- Come on in.
- Hey.
1101
00:51:56,636 --> 00:51:58,602
- Hey, Reggie.
- Do you guys mind if I...
1102
00:51:58,604 --> 00:52:01,171
- Come on in, Reggie.
- Okay.
1103
00:52:01,173 --> 00:52:04,144
Hi, uh, Frank. Scott.
1104
00:52:04,944 --> 00:52:06,511
Here's that...
1105
00:52:06,513 --> 00:52:09,980
Here's that money I owe
you. I'm sorry it's so late.
1106
00:52:09,982 --> 00:52:12,250
- Reggie, don't worry about it. It's fine.
- Hey.
1107
00:52:12,252 --> 00:52:17,388
- You sure about that, Butcher? You happy about that?
- I mean,
1108
00:52:17,390 --> 00:52:19,857
don't let it happen again.
1109
00:52:19,859 --> 00:52:22,259
Yeah, you bitch!
1110
00:52:22,261 --> 00:52:24,363
You little bitch!
1111
00:52:24,365 --> 00:52:25,997
Hey, Butch, you want me to go get your axe?
1112
00:52:25,999 --> 00:52:28,466
Yeah, so I can cut me
off a piece of bitch meat.
1113
00:52:28,468 --> 00:52:30,267
No, I don't want the axe.
1114
00:52:30,269 --> 00:52:33,471
Hey, Frank, this feels
a little light to me.
1115
00:52:33,473 --> 00:52:35,774
Uh-oh. Reggie, is everything
you owe us in there?
1116
00:52:35,776 --> 00:52:38,343
- I counted it myself.
- Maybe I should count it.
1117
00:52:38,345 --> 00:52:41,412
Oh. Are you gonna count
it? I don't think...
1118
00:52:41,414 --> 00:52:42,747
- Oh.
- Uh-oh.
1119
00:52:42,749 --> 00:52:44,348
Are you okay?
1120
00:52:44,350 --> 00:52:46,250
- I'll handle the counting.
- Okay.
1121
00:52:46,252 --> 00:52:47,819
- Get out of here, Reggie!
- Okay.
1122
00:52:47,821 --> 00:52:50,488
- Tell your friends what you saw here, Reggie.
- Sorry.
1123
00:52:50,490 --> 00:52:52,991
That was amazing!
1124
00:52:52,993 --> 00:52:54,493
Did you see how scared he got?
1125
00:52:54,495 --> 00:52:56,495
Yeah! How did that feel?
1126
00:52:56,497 --> 00:52:59,163
- It felt good.
- Yeah.
1127
00:52:59,165 --> 00:53:00,834
Yeah, it felt real good.
1128
00:53:10,877 --> 00:53:12,310
Hello, Gary.
1129
00:53:12,312 --> 00:53:14,580
I understand you have
an overdue library book.
1130
00:53:16,783 --> 00:53:18,118
No! No!
1131
00:53:21,455 --> 00:53:23,120
Come here. Come here.
1132
00:53:23,122 --> 00:53:25,423
Pay your debts!
1133
00:53:25,425 --> 00:53:26,758
Get out of the way!
1134
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:28,026
Hi, Crystal!
1135
00:53:31,832 --> 00:53:33,865
- Where's our money?
- Give it to us!
1136
00:53:33,867 --> 00:53:36,000
- You piece of shit!
- Give us the money!
1137
00:53:36,002 --> 00:53:37,602
No, no, no.
1138
00:53:43,176 --> 00:53:45,343
- I'm tired of asking you, Eddie!
- Eat it!
1139
00:53:45,345 --> 00:53:46,678
Give us the money, Eddie!
1140
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:48,580
You don't wanna do this, Eddie!
1141
00:53:58,892 --> 00:54:01,792
Get out of here! Just walk away, Angela!
1142
00:54:10,838 --> 00:54:12,236
I'm the Butcher.
1143
00:54:12,238 --> 00:54:13,970
And I'm the Burner.
1144
00:54:13,972 --> 00:54:16,374
Why are you guys talking
like that? Really low?
1145
00:54:16,376 --> 00:54:17,908
'Cause we're cool now.
1146
00:54:17,910 --> 00:54:19,243
Get on board.
1147
00:54:19,245 --> 00:54:21,645
Okay. This is what we're doing from now on.
1148
00:54:21,647 --> 00:54:22,915
It's weird when you do it.
1149
00:54:22,917 --> 00:54:24,515
You sound like Cookie Monster.
1150
00:54:24,517 --> 00:54:26,118
Well, Cookie Monster
1151
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,118
wants some motherfuckin' lobster.
1152
00:54:51,211 --> 00:54:53,812
Oh!
1153
00:54:53,814 --> 00:54:56,417
Madam Treasurer, there's
something for you to sign.
1154
00:54:59,551 --> 00:55:01,218
Aw, it's really nice.
1155
00:55:01,220 --> 00:55:02,520
I can't accept that.
1156
00:55:02,522 --> 00:55:04,020
How would I explain that to my husband?
1157
00:55:04,022 --> 00:55:06,290
You can tell your husband
that you're in love with me
1158
00:55:06,292 --> 00:55:07,591
and that we're gonna be together.
1159
00:55:07,593 --> 00:55:09,727
This is getting out of control, okay?
1160
00:55:09,729 --> 00:55:11,363
Yeah, it is.
1161
00:55:11,365 --> 00:55:13,131
At first, it was, like, you
know, gifts and trips and things,
1162
00:55:13,133 --> 00:55:15,265
but I didn't know where
the money was coming from.
1163
00:55:15,267 --> 00:55:16,767
It was coming from me.
1164
00:55:16,769 --> 00:55:18,770
Yeah, but you took it from the town.
1165
00:55:18,772 --> 00:55:20,805
And that poor girl's scholarship?
1166
00:55:20,807 --> 00:55:24,109
Come on. Look at these
budget numbers, okay?
1167
00:55:24,111 --> 00:55:25,910
We are 300 grand short.
1168
00:55:25,912 --> 00:55:28,580
We're gonna get audited, and
we're gonna lose our jobs.
1169
00:55:28,582 --> 00:55:31,015
We're probably gonna go to jail, okay?
1170
00:55:31,017 --> 00:55:32,250
Just stop.
1171
00:55:32,252 --> 00:55:33,884
At first it... Stop. It was like...
1172
00:55:33,886 --> 00:55:35,453
Stop, stop.
1173
00:55:35,455 --> 00:55:37,388
Stop. Stop it.
1174
00:55:37,390 --> 00:55:39,557
I think, next year, when Alex is gone,
1175
00:55:39,559 --> 00:55:41,392
we do this every Tuesday night.
1176
00:55:41,394 --> 00:55:43,127
- Yay! Cheers, team.
- Hooray!
1177
00:55:43,129 --> 00:55:44,930
- We look great.
- We do.
1178
00:55:44,932 --> 00:55:48,332
- We should dress like this every night.
- Yeah.
1179
00:55:48,334 --> 00:55:50,133
It's been a pretty tough year for me.
1180
00:55:50,135 --> 00:55:52,569
And I just wanna say
thank you to both of you.
1181
00:55:52,571 --> 00:55:54,508
This might be the best night of my...
1182
00:55:56,008 --> 00:55:58,142
- What?
- What?
1183
00:55:58,144 --> 00:55:59,544
Raina?
1184
00:55:59,546 --> 00:56:00,812
Hey. Easy, tiger. It's okay.
1185
00:56:00,814 --> 00:56:03,915
We knew this day would come. Okay?
1186
00:56:03,917 --> 00:56:05,816
Scott, Kate, excuse me.
1187
00:56:05,818 --> 00:56:08,285
I'm gonna go get my wife back.
1188
00:56:08,287 --> 00:56:10,187
Hold on, buddy. Frank.
1189
00:56:10,189 --> 00:56:11,455
Frank?
1190
00:56:11,457 --> 00:56:13,890
Hey, pal. There's no reservations...
1191
00:56:14,827 --> 00:56:16,530
- He's very strong!
- Frank!
1192
00:56:19,432 --> 00:56:21,066
At least I have my dignity.
1193
00:56:22,468 --> 00:56:24,569
I don't understand why
you're talking to me.
1194
00:56:24,571 --> 00:56:26,770
Go arrest that guy. He attacked me.
1195
00:56:26,772 --> 00:56:28,772
Mr. Theodorakis, I talked to him.
1196
00:56:28,774 --> 00:56:30,575
He said that you attacked him,
1197
00:56:30,577 --> 00:56:32,442
and then you grabbed his man bun.
1198
00:56:32,444 --> 00:56:35,879
What? I don't remember any of that.
1199
00:56:35,881 --> 00:56:38,850
Officer Chandler, what's going on here?
1200
00:56:38,852 --> 00:56:40,252
It's been a hell of a night.
1201
00:56:40,254 --> 00:56:41,919
I've gotten multiple reports
1202
00:56:41,921 --> 00:56:45,223
of violence all over
town, and no one's talking.
1203
00:56:45,225 --> 00:56:46,591
Well, no one's talking 'cause
1204
00:56:46,593 --> 00:56:48,794
there's nothing to talk about, so...
1205
00:56:51,999 --> 00:56:53,997
- What's your deal, Johansen?
- No deal.
1206
00:56:53,999 --> 00:56:56,066
You got a deal, Bob?
1207
00:56:56,068 --> 00:56:57,468
No deal here.
1208
00:56:57,470 --> 00:56:59,236
Yeah.
1209
00:56:59,238 --> 00:57:01,705
I would advise you to put that
away. I'm a police officer.
1210
00:57:01,707 --> 00:57:04,008
Don't worry about it.
1211
00:57:04,010 --> 00:57:06,410
Check your marshmallows, fellas.
1212
00:57:06,412 --> 00:57:08,479
No one says "check your marshmallows."
1213
00:57:08,481 --> 00:57:11,116
You wanna get fucked by a fire dick?
1214
00:57:11,118 --> 00:57:12,484
No.
1215
00:57:12,486 --> 00:57:14,151
- Then check your marshmallows.
- Yeah.
1216
00:57:14,153 --> 00:57:16,486
There's something fishy
going on with those three.
1217
00:57:16,488 --> 00:57:18,656
Definitely.
1218
00:57:30,303 --> 00:57:32,502
Are those women's sunglasses?
1219
00:57:32,504 --> 00:57:34,906
No. They're Italian.
1220
00:57:34,908 --> 00:57:37,542
And that's a woman's
cigarette. That's nice.
1221
00:57:37,544 --> 00:57:39,109
Also Italian.
1222
00:57:39,111 --> 00:57:42,312
Italian sunglasses, Italian cigarettes.
1223
00:57:42,314 --> 00:57:44,749
Okay. Ciao.
1224
00:57:49,856 --> 00:57:51,923
Excuse me, what the hell is that?
1225
00:57:51,925 --> 00:57:53,656
Craig ordered eggs, over-medium.
1226
00:57:53,658 --> 00:57:55,191
No. Look at the yolks.
1227
00:57:55,193 --> 00:57:56,828
Those are hard, that's not
over-medium. Take it back.
1228
00:57:56,830 --> 00:57:58,263
Scott, I'm really slammed right now.
1229
00:57:58,265 --> 00:58:00,098
I don't give a shit, asshole.
1230
00:58:00,100 --> 00:58:03,433
Take it back. All right, dick face?
1231
00:58:03,435 --> 00:58:05,738
You're doing a great job.
1232
00:58:07,272 --> 00:58:08,605
Hey, sexy.
1233
00:58:08,607 --> 00:58:10,174
Hey, baby. Looking good.
1234
00:58:10,176 --> 00:58:11,611
Feeling better.
1235
00:58:16,115 --> 00:58:19,850
Hey, things are getting super weird.
1236
00:58:19,852 --> 00:58:22,185
I just found a glory hole upstairs.
1237
00:58:22,187 --> 00:58:23,620
Just a dick-sized hole
1238
00:58:23,622 --> 00:58:25,189
in the middle of the
wall that somebody made.
1239
00:58:25,191 --> 00:58:26,424
You know how I knew?
1240
00:58:26,426 --> 00:58:27,558
There was a dick hanging out of it.
1241
00:58:30,463 --> 00:58:32,095
Who the hell are they?
1242
00:58:32,097 --> 00:58:33,763
Oh, they're Wall Street guys.
1243
00:58:33,765 --> 00:58:35,299
They're betting a lot of money.
1244
00:58:35,301 --> 00:58:38,236
They're also doing a ton of blow.
1245
00:58:38,238 --> 00:58:39,803
Oh, yes!
1246
00:58:44,044 --> 00:58:46,276
This is Frank Theodorakis' house.
1247
00:58:46,278 --> 00:58:49,281
And right through those
woods, only 100 yards away,
1248
00:58:49,283 --> 00:58:51,783
is the parking lot to Taylor's Meat Market.
1249
00:58:51,785 --> 00:58:54,655
Oh, right, the great meat conspiracy.
1250
00:58:59,325 --> 00:59:00,792
Come on, man.
1251
00:59:00,794 --> 00:59:02,859
Don't do blow on the
table. It gets in the felt.
1252
00:59:02,861 --> 00:59:05,129
Hey, we're betting 1,000 bucks a roll.
1253
00:59:05,131 --> 00:59:07,265
I'll do cocaine off of whatever I want.
1254
00:59:07,267 --> 00:59:09,466
I'll do it off of that
dumb wall sconce over there.
1255
00:59:09,468 --> 00:59:11,537
- Check this out.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1256
00:59:14,374 --> 00:59:15,843
Whoo!
1257
00:59:19,946 --> 00:59:22,883
What the shit?
1258
00:59:27,287 --> 00:59:30,321
Everybody, freeze! Police!
1259
00:59:30,323 --> 00:59:34,094
Everybody, freeze! Respect my authority!
1260
00:59:35,261 --> 00:59:36,560
No, no! No!
1261
00:59:36,562 --> 00:59:39,629
No, freeze! You're not freezing!
1262
00:59:39,631 --> 00:59:41,031
Freeze! Get on the ground.
1263
00:59:41,033 --> 00:59:42,665
You will stop or get arrested.
1264
00:59:42,667 --> 00:59:44,368
Do not inhale that!
1265
00:59:48,173 --> 00:59:49,175
My eyes!
1266
00:59:52,578 --> 00:59:54,578
Playing cards, huh?
1267
00:59:54,580 --> 00:59:56,015
For cash?
1268
00:59:56,550 --> 00:59:57,982
That's illegal.
1269
00:59:57,984 --> 01:00:00,151
- It's for charity.
- Yeah.
1270
01:00:00,153 --> 01:00:01,586
- Yeah.
- Good.
1271
01:00:01,588 --> 01:00:03,888
Which charity?
1272
01:00:03,890 --> 01:00:05,522
- Uh...
- Uh... Horse circumcision.
1273
01:00:05,524 --> 01:00:06,658
Money for psychic kids.
1274
01:00:06,660 --> 01:00:08,392
Canada.
1275
01:00:08,394 --> 01:00:09,961
Where's the money?
1276
01:00:09,963 --> 01:00:11,928
This is pointless. You're not
gonna find anything anywhere.
1277
01:00:11,930 --> 01:00:13,464
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
1278
01:00:13,466 --> 01:00:15,533
Well, we've looked in all
of the other rooms, so...
1279
01:00:15,535 --> 01:00:17,267
Chandler, take a look.
1280
01:00:19,006 --> 01:00:22,105
- Hey, Scotty! Eyes up here, buddy.
- Honey, don't point at that.
1281
01:00:22,107 --> 01:00:23,808
Look how nervou the baby deer is.
1282
01:00:23,810 --> 01:00:24,875
You guys seem pretty interested
1283
01:00:24,877 --> 01:00:26,209
in this painting, here.
1284
01:00:26,211 --> 01:00:27,678
- Yeah.
- We're not.
1285
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:29,316
The baby. The doe.
1286
01:00:30,182 --> 01:00:31,281
Ah!
1287
01:00:31,283 --> 01:00:32,582
What's this?
1288
01:00:32,584 --> 01:00:33,984
It's safes, Bob.
1289
01:00:33,986 --> 01:00:35,620
Oh, you fucking idiot.
1290
01:00:35,622 --> 01:00:38,823
- Those are my pornography collection.
- Mmm.
1291
01:00:38,825 --> 01:00:40,156
Why don't we just pop the safes and see
1292
01:00:40,158 --> 01:00:41,725
if it's all the money that you've taken?
1293
01:00:41,727 --> 01:00:43,259
You can't open them without the combo,
1294
01:00:43,261 --> 01:00:45,229
- and I'm not giving it to you.
- Hmm.
1295
01:00:45,231 --> 01:00:48,366
What are you looking
at? Why are you staring
1296
01:00:48,368 --> 01:00:50,100
at this photo over here, now?
1297
01:00:50,102 --> 01:00:51,171
Don't do that. Oh!
1298
01:00:52,339 --> 01:00:53,437
Oh.
1299
01:00:53,439 --> 01:00:55,006
A Post-it note.
1300
01:00:55,008 --> 01:00:58,843
Is this the combination?
'Cause you 69 yourself, 24/7?
1301
01:00:58,845 --> 01:01:02,247
Okay, here's the deal.
We're not gonna arrest you.
1302
01:01:02,249 --> 01:01:04,314
But you guys have to shut down this casino.
1303
01:01:04,316 --> 01:01:05,716
Aw, what?
1304
01:01:05,718 --> 01:01:07,419
And also, we're
confiscating all your money.
1305
01:01:07,421 --> 01:01:09,787
Hold on, you can't take the
money. It's for our daughter.
1306
01:01:09,789 --> 01:01:11,656
You're gonna take their money, Bob?
1307
01:01:11,658 --> 01:01:13,124
I'm not gonna take their money.
1308
01:01:13,126 --> 01:01:15,660
I'm gonna confiscate
their money for the town.
1309
01:01:15,662 --> 01:01:17,127
Come on, Chandler,
1310
01:01:17,129 --> 01:01:18,595
you're not gonna get
caught up in this, are you?
1311
01:01:18,597 --> 01:01:20,196
You're a good guy.
1312
01:01:20,198 --> 01:01:23,734
Who's always lead baritone
when we go Christmas caroling?
1313
01:01:23,736 --> 01:01:25,468
Come on.
1314
01:01:25,470 --> 01:01:29,874
♪ Hark the herald angels sing
1315
01:01:29,876 --> 01:01:34,144
- ♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪
- Shut up.
1316
01:01:34,146 --> 01:01:36,948
You remember when you guys
started an illegal casino?
1317
01:01:36,950 --> 01:01:39,049
I'm Alex. I wanna go to Bucknell.
1318
01:01:39,051 --> 01:01:40,752
- Bob, enough.
- But my parents fucked up.
1319
01:01:40,754 --> 01:01:41,953
They couldn't find the money,
1320
01:01:41,955 --> 01:01:43,687
so they started an illegal casino.
1321
01:01:43,689 --> 01:01:45,089
Bob, she's a kid.
1322
01:01:45,091 --> 01:01:46,156
Oh, oh.
1323
01:01:46,158 --> 01:01:48,694
We're taking the cash.
1324
01:01:50,964 --> 01:01:53,932
Let's go, Chandler. Shut it down.
1325
01:01:53,934 --> 01:01:56,236
Bob. Bob! That money's for college.
1326
01:01:58,071 --> 01:02:00,238
Tonight at 11:00. Earlier this week,
1327
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:03,040
a local man was treated
at Sacred Heart Hospital
1328
01:02:03,042 --> 01:02:04,776
for a severed middle finger.
1329
01:02:04,778 --> 01:02:06,044
Authorities believe
this may be related
1330
01:02:06,046 --> 01:02:08,178
to the recent local crime spree.
1331
01:02:08,180 --> 01:02:11,082
The man is known to have
connections to Tommy Papouli,
1332
01:02:11,084 --> 01:02:12,816
long suspected of racketeering,
1333
01:02:12,818 --> 01:02:15,254
illegal gambling, and even murder.
1334
01:02:19,124 --> 01:02:20,393
Hey, sweetie.
1335
01:02:22,227 --> 01:02:24,995
You were watching Walking
Dead without us?
1336
01:02:24,997 --> 01:02:28,267
Yeah. Lizzie killed Mika.
1337
01:02:37,410 --> 01:02:39,075
Fuck, we suck.
1338
01:02:39,077 --> 01:02:40,278
We lost all our money.
1339
01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:41,544
And I am mentally and physically
1340
01:02:41,546 --> 01:02:43,214
addicted to marijuana.
1341
01:02:43,216 --> 01:02:44,147
Honey, you love it.
1342
01:02:44,149 --> 01:02:45,417
I think about it all the time.
1343
01:02:45,419 --> 01:02:46,850
It's really hard to focus right now.
1344
01:02:46,852 --> 01:02:48,553
I'm so mad I'm not high.
1345
01:02:48,555 --> 01:02:49,886
And we started a fight club.
1346
01:02:49,888 --> 01:02:51,321
What are we doing?
1347
01:02:51,323 --> 01:02:53,857
We're each other's
enabler. We're not even...
1348
01:02:53,859 --> 01:02:55,796
One of us has to be an adult here.
1349
01:02:57,430 --> 01:02:59,165
So you do it.
1350
01:03:00,100 --> 01:03:01,031
You be it.
1351
01:03:01,033 --> 01:03:03,470
Okay. I'll be the adult.
1352
01:03:04,838 --> 01:03:07,004
And, as the adult,
1353
01:03:07,006 --> 01:03:09,140
I'm gonna say, we're gonna call Frank
1354
01:03:09,142 --> 01:03:12,076
and tell him to shut it down.
1355
01:03:12,078 --> 01:03:13,144
Okay.
1356
01:03:13,146 --> 01:03:14,078
And that's how we're gonna handle it.
1357
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:16,046
Okay.
1358
01:03:16,048 --> 01:03:17,714
- What a relief.
- Right?
1359
01:03:17,716 --> 01:03:20,484
- Or we keep it open, and go big.
- Or we do. Yeah.
1360
01:03:20,486 --> 01:03:21,819
Fuck Bob Schaeffer.
1361
01:03:21,821 --> 01:03:23,154
I'm not gonna look my daughter in the eye
1362
01:03:23,156 --> 01:03:24,321
and tell her she can't go to college,
1363
01:03:24,323 --> 01:03:25,522
because some small-time
1364
01:03:25,524 --> 01:03:27,158
city councilman is bullying us.
1365
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:28,926
Exactly! We'll call everyone
1366
01:03:28,928 --> 01:03:30,528
and tell them the casino is still open.
1367
01:03:30,530 --> 01:03:32,997
- Yes.
- No limit on any bet in the house.
1368
01:03:32,999 --> 01:03:35,265
We go big, we make our money,
1369
01:03:35,267 --> 01:03:37,368
and then we parachute out of there.
1370
01:03:37,370 --> 01:03:38,602
Go big, or go home.
1371
01:03:38,604 --> 01:03:41,138
- Let's do this!
- Okay.
1372
01:03:41,140 --> 01:03:43,473
All right, here we go Here we go!
1373
01:03:43,475 --> 01:03:44,808
All right!
1374
01:03:44,810 --> 01:03:47,278
This is fun! Whoo!
1375
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:48,279
That guy!
1376
01:03:48,281 --> 01:03:50,013
Fuck Bob Schaeffer! Whoo!
1377
01:03:50,015 --> 01:03:51,750
We got a professional shooter here.
1378
01:03:51,752 --> 01:03:53,683
He can't tell us to shut down!
1379
01:03:53,685 --> 01:03:56,754
Let's go! Two more
Let's go. Come on.
1380
01:04:01,627 --> 01:04:04,895
Wow. Hey, Raina.
1381
01:04:04,897 --> 01:04:06,830
- What a pleasant surprise.
- Oh, my God!
1382
01:04:06,832 --> 01:04:08,299
You said, "I'm not gambling."
1383
01:04:08,301 --> 01:04:11,271
Raina, I meant that. I'm not!
1384
01:04:11,903 --> 01:04:13,104
They are!
1385
01:04:13,106 --> 01:04:14,973
All of them, and they're losing.
1386
01:04:14,975 --> 01:04:16,207
You know, when you emphasize
1387
01:04:16,209 --> 01:04:17,941
one word more than the other,
1388
01:04:17,943 --> 01:04:19,576
you know that's bullshit, right?
1389
01:04:19,578 --> 01:04:22,912
Okay, so do you want me to
emphasize something for you?
1390
01:04:22,914 --> 01:04:26,318
I am not coming back.
1391
01:04:28,521 --> 01:04:29,522
Oof.
1392
01:04:34,961 --> 01:04:36,961
They said go through Taylor's,
1393
01:04:36,963 --> 01:04:39,298
- then through the woods, then we'll get to the casino!
- Let's do it!
1394
01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:43,202
Ooh.
1395
01:04:49,175 --> 01:04:52,075
I'm beginning to think
Raina's not gonna take me back.
1396
01:04:52,077 --> 01:04:55,812
Mom? Dad? What are you guys doing here?
1397
01:04:55,814 --> 01:04:57,448
Alex, what are you doing here?
1398
01:04:57,450 --> 01:04:59,950
We got invited to this casino.
1399
01:04:59,952 --> 01:05:01,118
You shouldn't be here.
1400
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:02,520
- What?
- Come with us.
1401
01:05:02,522 --> 01:05:04,254
Sweetheart, it's very complicated,
1402
01:05:04,256 --> 01:05:06,158
but we need to tell you a few things.
1403
01:05:13,832 --> 01:05:15,332
Hello?
1404
01:05:15,334 --> 01:05:18,468
Hey, go around back.
There's a secret entrance.
1405
01:05:18,470 --> 01:05:20,671
The password is Andre the...
1406
01:05:23,809 --> 01:05:26,109
Holy fuck, look at this place.
1407
01:05:26,111 --> 01:05:27,444
When you said casino,
1408
01:05:27,446 --> 01:05:29,182
I didn't think you meant fucking casino.
1409
01:05:35,754 --> 01:05:37,888
Remember me, motherfucker?
1410
01:05:37,890 --> 01:05:40,290
Wow, that looks great.
1411
01:05:40,292 --> 01:05:42,292
Hey, dickfuck, you're not gonna like Tommy.
1412
01:05:42,294 --> 01:05:44,962
He doesn't cut off
fingers, he cuts off heads.
1413
01:05:44,964 --> 01:05:47,230
Shut up. Come on.
1414
01:05:47,232 --> 01:05:48,732
Guys, we've got a problem.
1415
01:05:50,769 --> 01:05:52,470
- He's got a gun.
- Okay.
1416
01:05:52,472 --> 01:05:53,404
Where's the money?
1417
01:05:53,406 --> 01:05:54,971
- We just got robbed.
- Yeah.
1418
01:05:54,973 --> 01:05:56,406
Look, the safes are all empty.
1419
01:05:56,408 --> 01:05:57,808
Do you know how many times
1420
01:05:57,810 --> 01:05:59,109
I've seen someone point to an empty safe
1421
01:05:59,111 --> 01:06:00,845
and say, "We have no money"?
1422
01:06:00,847 --> 01:06:02,113
- A hundred?
- Five hundred?
1423
01:06:02,115 --> 01:06:03,413
- Thirty thousand.
- It's rhetorical, fuckstick.
1424
01:06:03,415 --> 01:06:04,714
- Okay.
- Shut up.
1425
01:06:04,716 --> 01:06:05,749
This your daughter?
1426
01:06:05,751 --> 01:06:06,850
- Where?
- Who? Her?
1427
01:06:06,852 --> 01:06:08,218
Right here.
1428
01:06:08,220 --> 01:06:09,988
That's such a compliment. This is my wife.
1429
01:06:09,990 --> 01:06:12,055
Alex?
1430
01:06:12,057 --> 01:06:13,223
- In fact, there's our daughter.
- There she is. Hello, daughter.
1431
01:06:13,225 --> 01:06:14,591
Hi, honey.
1432
01:06:14,593 --> 01:06:15,758
Don't overthink it. Just be our daughter.
1433
01:06:15,760 --> 01:06:17,028
Come right here.
1434
01:06:17,030 --> 01:06:18,598
I'm not your daughter. That's your...
1435
01:06:20,665 --> 01:06:22,299
Sorry, Rachel!
1436
01:06:22,301 --> 01:06:24,067
- Fuck's the matter with you?
- What?
1437
01:06:24,069 --> 01:06:25,468
Shoving a girl like that?
1438
01:06:25,470 --> 01:06:27,772
We are strict disciplinarians
in our household.
1439
01:06:27,774 --> 01:06:29,006
Get out of my way.
1440
01:06:29,008 --> 01:06:30,607
- I know this is your daughter.
- Mom!
1441
01:06:30,609 --> 01:06:31,642
No, no, no!
1442
01:06:31,644 --> 01:06:32,877
- Cuff her.
- Sweetie.
1443
01:06:32,879 --> 01:06:34,278
- Mom.
- Honey.
1444
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:36,013
- No.
- Wait, no.
1445
01:06:36,015 --> 01:06:37,881
Take me, not her.
1446
01:06:37,883 --> 01:06:39,549
No. No one cares if you die.
1447
01:06:39,551 --> 01:06:40,651
Oh, thank God.
1448
01:06:40,653 --> 01:06:41,752
Help 'em find the money.
1449
01:06:41,754 --> 01:06:43,254
Oh, and hey...
1450
01:06:43,256 --> 01:06:46,223
300 grand. Or you'll never
see your daughter again.
1451
01:06:46,225 --> 01:06:49,560
- Mom! Dad! Help! Help!
- Fuck you. Fuck you.
1452
01:06:49,562 --> 01:06:50,794
Let go of me.
1453
01:06:53,332 --> 01:06:56,700
You know what? You got us.
1454
01:06:56,702 --> 01:07:00,203
There's $300,000 in money in this room,
1455
01:07:00,205 --> 01:07:03,374
hidden in these money, uh, buckets.
1456
01:07:03,376 --> 01:07:06,477
So, if you want, you can take the money
1457
01:07:06,479 --> 01:07:08,511
and we'll take their daughter back.
1458
01:07:08,513 --> 01:07:09,812
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1459
01:07:09,814 --> 01:07:11,314
There's one here,
there's one behind the bed
1460
01:07:11,316 --> 01:07:13,019
and there's one right over there.
1461
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:15,819
Money cannon.
1462
01:07:18,524 --> 01:07:19,823
Yeah!
1463
01:07:19,825 --> 01:07:22,661
Don't worry, guys, I got this.
1464
01:07:24,062 --> 01:07:25,629
Yes!
1465
01:07:25,631 --> 01:07:28,167
Oh, no! Not in Frank's place, you don't!
1466
01:07:31,203 --> 01:07:32,671
He's got a knife.
1467
01:07:35,107 --> 01:07:36,205
Look what he did.
1468
01:07:36,207 --> 01:07:37,875
Oh, my God, Frank.
1469
01:07:37,877 --> 01:07:39,276
Frank! Frank!
1470
01:07:39,278 --> 01:07:41,377
- Raina.
- Are you okay?
1471
01:07:41,379 --> 01:07:43,613
- God.
- Did you see him stab me?
1472
01:07:43,615 --> 01:07:45,850
- Yes...
- It was so cool and effortless.
1473
01:07:45,852 --> 01:07:48,019
- Oh, no!
- Okay. Okay.
1474
01:07:48,021 --> 01:07:50,687
Let's go. Come on.
1475
01:07:50,689 --> 01:07:53,723
Jesus. Aren't you supposed
to be getting me my money?
1476
01:07:53,725 --> 01:07:55,258
- Pal?
- Dad?
1477
01:07:55,260 --> 01:07:57,329
My name's not Pal.
1478
01:07:58,763 --> 01:08:00,263
They call me the Butcher.
1479
01:08:00,265 --> 01:08:03,167
- Is that right?
- Alex! Stranger danger!
1480
01:08:10,877 --> 01:08:13,142
Fuck!
1481
01:08:13,144 --> 01:08:16,181
- Oh, God!
- Don't forget about the Burner!
1482
01:08:17,050 --> 01:08:19,149
Yeah!
1483
01:08:19,151 --> 01:08:20,850
Oh, shit!
1484
01:08:20,852 --> 01:08:22,518
Oh!
1485
01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:24,987
- What the fuck?
- Put him out! Put him out!
1486
01:08:24,989 --> 01:08:26,525
- I got this!
- No, no, no!
1487
01:08:27,994 --> 01:08:29,192
That's vodka!
1488
01:08:29,194 --> 01:08:30,527
Are you kidding? Help!
1489
01:08:30,529 --> 01:08:31,996
- I got it!
- No, no, no!
1490
01:08:31,998 --> 01:08:33,366
That's vodka, too!
1491
01:08:34,633 --> 01:08:36,200
Oh, God!
1492
01:08:36,202 --> 01:08:38,068
Wait, no! That's polyester!
1493
01:08:41,707 --> 01:08:44,207
I've got an idea. Everybody, back up!
1494
01:08:44,209 --> 01:08:45,675
All right.
1495
01:08:45,677 --> 01:08:47,010
Ouch!
1496
01:08:47,012 --> 01:08:48,213
Stop!
1497
01:08:49,949 --> 01:08:51,785
What's with these people?
1498
01:08:53,052 --> 01:08:54,085
I did it!
1499
01:08:54,087 --> 01:08:55,555
Frank!
1500
01:08:56,689 --> 01:08:59,122
Frank, you saved his life.
1501
01:08:59,124 --> 01:09:04,228
Everybody, everything's gonna be just fine.
1502
01:09:04,230 --> 01:09:06,533
I was wrong!
1503
01:09:16,842 --> 01:09:18,943
I'm sorry.
1504
01:09:18,945 --> 01:09:20,176
You were right about me.
1505
01:09:20,178 --> 01:09:22,779
I will sign the divorce papers.
1506
01:09:22,781 --> 01:09:24,514
As long as you print a new copy,
1507
01:09:24,516 --> 01:09:26,817
'cause the ones that you gave
me burned up in the house.
1508
01:09:26,819 --> 01:09:28,585
I fucked everything up.
1509
01:09:28,587 --> 01:09:29,952
I know.
1510
01:09:29,954 --> 01:09:32,956
But we have insurance.
1511
01:09:32,958 --> 01:09:34,358
They don't know that I took
1512
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:36,326
all the furniture and jewelry and stuff.
1513
01:09:36,328 --> 01:09:38,362
- Raina...
- What?
1514
01:09:38,364 --> 01:09:39,630
Are you suggesting that
1515
01:09:39,632 --> 01:09:41,965
we commit insurance fraud together?
1516
01:09:41,967 --> 01:09:44,269
What, Frank? I'm just sayin'.
1517
01:09:51,610 --> 01:09:53,210
That's one of the most fucked-up things
1518
01:09:53,212 --> 01:09:54,577
I've ever heard.
1519
01:09:54,579 --> 01:09:56,212
But,
1520
01:09:56,214 --> 01:09:58,247
you guys kind of did it all for me.
1521
01:09:58,249 --> 01:10:01,117
So, thank you.
1522
01:10:01,119 --> 01:10:03,653
Honey, don't thank us.
1523
01:10:03,655 --> 01:10:07,258
The money's all gone.
You can't go to Bucknell.
1524
01:10:07,260 --> 01:10:08,959
We are so sorry.
1525
01:10:08,961 --> 01:10:10,894
We had it,
1526
01:10:10,896 --> 01:10:13,697
but then Bob Schaeffer took it from us.
1527
01:10:13,699 --> 01:10:16,666
The asshole that took my scholarship?
1528
01:10:16,668 --> 01:10:18,969
If he stole it from us, why
don't we just steal it back?
1529
01:10:18,971 --> 01:10:20,670
- No.
- 'Cause we don't do that anymore.
1530
01:10:20,672 --> 01:10:22,139
Once you go to the dark side,
1531
01:10:22,141 --> 01:10:23,407
it gets dark very quickly. Trust me.
1532
01:10:23,409 --> 01:10:25,108
I see fingers everywhere.
1533
01:10:25,110 --> 01:10:26,542
Are you guys serious?
1534
01:10:26,544 --> 01:10:28,246
You've been doing this
insane stuff all summer,
1535
01:10:28,248 --> 01:10:31,948
and now that I have a chance
to help, you just wanna quit?
1536
01:10:31,950 --> 01:10:33,517
Good afternoon, folks.
1537
01:10:33,519 --> 01:10:34,951
- Excuse me? Hello?
- Mom?
1538
01:10:34,953 --> 01:10:37,286
Don't be alarmed. I'm
not here to arrest you.
1539
01:10:37,288 --> 01:10:39,255
What you did was self-defense.
1540
01:10:39,257 --> 01:10:41,024
We are alarmed, you're in our backyard.
1541
01:10:41,026 --> 01:10:42,425
Ignore the badge.
1542
01:10:42,427 --> 01:10:44,460
- Ignore the gun.
- Oh!
1543
01:10:44,462 --> 01:10:45,629
- Shit!
- Put it down.
1544
01:10:45,631 --> 01:10:47,197
- What are you doing?
- Put that down.
1545
01:10:47,199 --> 01:10:49,899
This is nothing to be afraid of. Here.
1546
01:10:51,070 --> 01:10:53,202
People being afraid of guns is silly.
1547
01:10:53,204 --> 01:10:54,506
And I'm sick of it.
1548
01:10:55,140 --> 01:10:56,439
Anyway,
1549
01:10:56,441 --> 01:10:58,645
I'm just here to say one thing.
1550
01:10:59,544 --> 01:11:01,444
Fuck Bob Schaeffer.
1551
01:11:01,446 --> 01:11:03,080
He doesn't care about this town.
1552
01:11:03,082 --> 01:11:04,881
Here's what we're gonna do.
1553
01:11:04,883 --> 01:11:07,718
You're never gonna believe this, Bob.
1554
01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:09,620
They never shut down the casino.
1555
01:11:09,622 --> 01:11:11,589
They just moved it to another house.
1556
01:11:11,591 --> 01:11:13,456
But I told them if they kept it open,
1557
01:11:13,458 --> 01:11:15,992
that I would have them arrested.
1558
01:11:15,994 --> 01:11:18,461
There are Smurfs who are taller
1559
01:11:18,463 --> 01:11:20,096
than Bob Schaeffer.
1560
01:11:20,098 --> 01:11:23,300
He looks like a gremlin
learned how to tie a tie.
1561
01:11:23,302 --> 01:11:24,734
Don't get him wet after midnight.
1562
01:11:24,736 --> 01:11:26,237
Hey, guys! I found the casino!
1563
01:11:26,239 --> 01:11:28,772
For God sakes, I'm short!
1564
01:11:33,378 --> 01:11:34,978
They're making fun of you, Bob.
1565
01:11:34,980 --> 01:11:36,513
Hello, I'm Bob Schaeffer.
1566
01:11:36,515 --> 01:11:39,452
You told them to shut it down.
1567
01:11:40,218 --> 01:11:41,988
Cop car. Now.
1568
01:11:44,723 --> 01:11:46,859
Can't wait to see their
faces when we get there.
1569
01:11:52,797 --> 01:11:54,266
Come on.
1570
01:12:00,204 --> 01:12:02,406
Okay. Yeah, right there!
1571
01:12:02,408 --> 01:12:03,874
Okay, here you go.
1572
01:12:03,876 --> 01:12:04,944
Okay.
1573
01:12:07,245 --> 01:12:08,612
All right.
1574
01:12:08,614 --> 01:12:10,013
What's the combination?
1575
01:12:10,015 --> 01:12:12,282
It's okay, I know.
Officer Chandler told me.
1576
01:12:12,284 --> 01:12:13,952
And right now...
1577
01:12:14,986 --> 01:12:17,824
I completely remember it.
1578
01:12:19,225 --> 01:12:20,758
It's okay, I know, I know, I know.
1579
01:12:20,760 --> 01:12:22,126
Dad, there's no time for this.
1580
01:12:22,128 --> 01:12:23,626
Hide!
1581
01:12:23,628 --> 01:12:25,228
- Hey, how's it going?
- Good.
1582
01:12:25,230 --> 01:12:26,462
I need that by tomorrow.
1583
01:12:26,464 --> 01:12:28,398
- All right.
- No, I'm serious, though.
1584
01:12:28,400 --> 01:12:30,733
All right. Bye.
1585
01:12:30,735 --> 01:12:32,669
Okay, Scott...
1586
01:12:32,671 --> 01:12:35,104
- Honey, I have faith in you, okay?
- Yeah.
1587
01:12:35,106 --> 01:12:40,044
I know that you can remember
four sequential numbers.
1588
01:12:40,046 --> 01:12:41,914
Just think. Just think.
1589
01:12:47,019 --> 01:12:49,286
Squiggly line.
1590
01:12:49,288 --> 01:12:51,357
Is that part of the combination?
1591
01:12:53,292 --> 01:12:55,893
- Poop. Poop emoji?
- Uh-oh.
1592
01:12:55,895 --> 01:12:57,694
Is that part of it? No.
1593
01:12:57,696 --> 01:12:59,962
I love you so much, Dad.
1594
01:12:59,964 --> 01:13:02,769
I'm gonna miss you next year at college.
1595
01:13:05,003 --> 01:13:07,203
29-52-41-78
pound.
1596
01:13:07,205 --> 01:13:08,339
- Yes!
- I remember!
1597
01:13:08,341 --> 01:13:09,473
You did! Good job!
1598
01:13:09,475 --> 01:13:10,677
I'm gonna miss you, too, sweetie.
1599
01:13:11,177 --> 01:13:12,541
Okay.
1600
01:13:12,543 --> 01:13:14,346
Good job.
1601
01:13:20,753 --> 01:13:21,754
Okay.
1602
01:13:28,293 --> 01:13:30,327
Okay. Here we go. Here we go.
1603
01:13:30,329 --> 01:13:31,460
Honey, there's wheels.
1604
01:13:31,462 --> 01:13:32,563
I got it. What?
1605
01:13:32,565 --> 01:13:33,729
- Dad! Dad!
- It's got wheels!
1606
01:13:33,731 --> 01:13:35,299
- You can wheel it.
- Oh, it does.
1607
01:13:35,301 --> 01:13:37,233
- Okay, yeah. So much easier.
- Just drag the suitcase.
1608
01:13:37,235 --> 01:13:39,635
- Okay.
- Careful! The floor is slippery.
1609
01:13:39,637 --> 01:13:40,870
Are you meeting with the Johansens?
1610
01:13:40,872 --> 01:13:43,005
I think I saw them come into Town Hall.
1611
01:13:43,007 --> 01:13:44,541
Dawn, they can't be there.
1612
01:13:44,543 --> 01:13:45,742
We're going to arrest
them right now.
1613
01:13:45,744 --> 01:13:47,413
Well, they're here somewhere.
1614
01:13:50,048 --> 01:13:51,482
Your office door is open.
1615
01:13:51,484 --> 01:13:52,849
Wait, so is the safe.
1616
01:13:52,851 --> 01:13:55,585
What? I'm coming back! Go faster, Chandler.
1617
01:13:55,587 --> 01:13:57,220
- I'm driving safely, Bob.
- Punch it!
1618
01:13:57,222 --> 01:13:58,721
Bob, I'm going the speed limit.
1619
01:13:58,723 --> 01:14:00,624
- Punch it, Chandler. Let's go.
- I won't.
1620
01:14:00,626 --> 01:14:02,626
Back to Town Hall now!
1621
01:14:02,628 --> 01:14:03,693
- Stop it!
- You stop it!
1622
01:14:03,695 --> 01:14:04,861
- Stop doing that!
- No!
1623
01:14:04,863 --> 01:14:07,133
- Stop it!
- Watch out, Chandler!
1624
01:14:10,235 --> 01:14:12,102
That's why you don't punch it!
1625
01:14:12,104 --> 01:14:14,707
Great, just great!
1626
01:14:20,079 --> 01:14:22,513
Fuck you, Bob Schaeffer!
1627
01:14:22,515 --> 01:14:25,648
- You wrecked my car! You pig!
- Stop it.
1628
01:14:25,650 --> 01:14:27,884
- Bob!
- Look what you did!
1629
01:14:27,886 --> 01:14:29,618
Ma'am, we have to exchange information!
1630
01:14:29,620 --> 01:14:32,624
Fuck the police.
1631
01:14:33,626 --> 01:14:36,225
- There you go.
- There we go.
1632
01:15:05,289 --> 01:15:07,890
Your family fucking sucks!
1633
01:15:09,828 --> 01:15:11,763
Stupid fucking money bag!
1634
01:15:16,068 --> 01:15:18,204
No! Not the model!
1635
01:15:22,675 --> 01:15:26,076
I handcuffed it to my
wrist, you fucking shithead!
1636
01:15:26,078 --> 01:15:29,781
So, what are you gonna do
about it now, Scott Johansen?
1637
01:15:33,952 --> 01:15:36,888
- You're not talking to Scott Johansen.
- What?
1638
01:15:38,323 --> 01:15:39,421
You're talking to...
1639
01:15:39,423 --> 01:15:40,590
No. No.
1640
01:15:40,592 --> 01:15:42,593
- The Butcher.
- No!
1641
01:15:46,731 --> 01:15:48,631
I thought you were gonna cut off my arm.
1642
01:15:48,633 --> 01:15:50,968
So did I. I'm so glad I didn't do that.
1643
01:15:50,970 --> 01:15:52,204
Oh, God.
1644
01:15:54,774 --> 01:15:56,139
Oh, Chandler, God.
1645
01:15:56,141 --> 01:15:58,340
Chandler, arrest these people, please.
1646
01:15:58,342 --> 01:16:00,010
I don't think so, Bob.
1647
01:16:00,012 --> 01:16:02,077
I like them a lot more than I like you.
1648
01:16:02,079 --> 01:16:02,947
Hmm.
1649
01:16:02,949 --> 01:16:04,348
Are you kidding me?
1650
01:16:04,350 --> 01:16:06,383
- So, that's how it's gonna be?
- Yeah.
1651
01:16:06,385 --> 01:16:08,318
Don't touch the fucking money.
1652
01:16:08,320 --> 01:16:09,620
It's fine.
1653
01:16:09,622 --> 01:16:11,154
All I need is my sweet, sweet Dawn.
1654
01:16:11,156 --> 01:16:13,657
Bob, is that all cash
that you stole from them?
1655
01:16:13,659 --> 01:16:14,758
Yep.
1656
01:16:14,760 --> 01:16:16,359
- Yeah, he did.
- All of it.
1657
01:16:16,361 --> 01:16:17,493
- Mmm-hmm.
- Come on!
1658
01:16:17,495 --> 01:16:19,194
I took that money for us,
1659
01:16:19,196 --> 01:16:20,729
for our future.
1660
01:16:20,731 --> 01:16:22,064
What future? What are you talking about?
1661
01:16:22,066 --> 01:16:23,899
I wanted you to be my First Lady.
1662
01:16:23,901 --> 01:16:26,370
You're never gonna be president.
1663
01:16:26,372 --> 01:16:27,770
You're too short.
1664
01:16:29,242 --> 01:16:31,008
Dawn?
1665
01:16:31,010 --> 01:16:32,675
- What's going on in here?
- Joe...
1666
01:16:32,677 --> 01:16:34,777
Oh, my God, the model.
1667
01:16:34,779 --> 01:16:36,179
And you know what, Bob?
1668
01:16:36,181 --> 01:16:38,447
I'm already somebody's First Lady.
1669
01:16:38,449 --> 01:16:41,084
- No.
- I'm coming in for a kiss right now.
1670
01:16:41,086 --> 01:16:43,122
Here I come.
1671
01:16:43,989 --> 01:16:45,154
Mmm.
1672
01:16:47,626 --> 01:16:49,658
Way to go, Joe.
1673
01:16:49,660 --> 01:16:52,095
- Did I get you that necklace?
- What?
1674
01:16:52,097 --> 01:16:54,497
- Yep.
- You know what?
1675
01:16:54,499 --> 01:16:56,032
All I do is give!
1676
01:16:56,034 --> 01:16:57,800
What about me?
1677
01:16:57,802 --> 01:17:00,069
What about Bob?
1678
01:17:01,172 --> 01:17:02,639
What's so funny?
1679
01:17:02,641 --> 01:17:04,640
There's a movie. What About Bob?
1680
01:17:04,642 --> 01:17:06,776
Yeah. Richard Dreyfuss, Bill Murray.
1681
01:17:06,778 --> 01:17:09,345
Am I the only one who
doesn't get Bill Murray?
1682
01:17:09,347 --> 01:17:12,115
- What?
- You're coming off like a real dipshit now.
1683
01:17:12,117 --> 01:17:13,715
You're being a piece of shit, Bob.
1684
01:17:13,717 --> 01:17:15,551
Don't judge me!
1685
01:17:15,553 --> 01:17:17,187
Yeah, I took the money!
1686
01:17:17,189 --> 01:17:19,054
I took the money from the Johansens
1687
01:17:19,056 --> 01:17:21,157
and I took the money from the town.
1688
01:17:21,159 --> 01:17:22,259
But I deserve it!
1689
01:17:22,261 --> 01:17:24,361
I'm so glad you said that clearly, Bob.
1690
01:17:24,363 --> 01:17:27,130
'Cause we've been recording
it on all of these cameras.
1691
01:17:27,132 --> 01:17:29,032
What? What?
1692
01:17:29,034 --> 01:17:31,334
Oh, God!
1693
01:17:31,336 --> 01:17:32,669
I'm gonna go shoot Bob.
1694
01:17:32,671 --> 01:17:34,004
No, no, no.
1695
01:17:34,006 --> 01:17:35,971
- I'm gonna go arrest Bob.
- That a boy!
1696
01:17:35,973 --> 01:17:37,240
Anyway, those cameras weren't turned on.
1697
01:17:37,242 --> 01:17:38,709
I just said that to freak him out.
1698
01:17:38,711 --> 01:17:40,276
- Are you kidding me?
- That was badass.
1699
01:17:40,278 --> 01:17:41,344
I totally bought that!
1700
01:17:41,346 --> 01:17:43,148
Come on. Let's go, guys, huh?
1701
01:17:57,329 --> 01:17:58,964
- It's okay.
- It's okay.
1702
01:18:00,466 --> 01:18:01,834
You got it.
1703
01:18:04,203 --> 01:18:05,838
I love you guys.
1704
01:18:09,141 --> 01:18:11,210
Thanks for getting me into college.
1705
01:18:17,348 --> 01:18:18,950
You okay?
1706
01:18:20,986 --> 01:18:22,352
Yeah.
1707
01:18:22,354 --> 01:18:23,620
Yeah, you?
1708
01:18:23,622 --> 01:18:24,824
Yeah.
1709
01:18:26,859 --> 01:18:28,191
You know, I thought losing Alex
1710
01:18:28,193 --> 01:18:30,492
would feel like losing my best friend.
1711
01:18:30,494 --> 01:18:32,064
Yeah, me, too.
1712
01:18:33,664 --> 01:18:35,834
But it's not.
1713
01:18:37,269 --> 01:18:38,533
Alex is my daughter,
1714
01:18:38,535 --> 01:18:40,271
you're my best friend.
1715
01:18:42,774 --> 01:18:45,211
You're my best friend.
1716
01:18:47,346 --> 01:18:48,810
And you're not just my best friend,
1717
01:18:48,812 --> 01:18:50,682
you're the baddest mofo around.
1718
01:18:51,917 --> 01:18:54,120
Whom I fucking love.
1719
01:18:55,020 --> 01:18:56,856
Did you just say "whom"?
1720
01:18:58,489 --> 01:19:00,624
'Cause you're giving me
a straight-up boner, girl.
1721
01:19:00,626 --> 01:19:02,693
- Grammar has always been your thing.
- Yeah.
1722
01:19:02,695 --> 01:19:04,527
Math, not so much.
1723
01:19:04,529 --> 01:19:06,796
I know you.
1724
01:19:06,798 --> 01:19:09,401
I wanna feed you soup when we get old.
1725
01:19:12,337 --> 01:19:15,306
I really hope that I don't die before you.
1726
01:19:16,708 --> 01:19:17,974
Because I don't know
1727
01:19:17,976 --> 01:19:19,642
how you're gonna make it without me.
1728
01:19:19,644 --> 01:19:21,344
I know.
1729
01:19:21,346 --> 01:19:23,279
I think about that all the time.
1730
01:19:23,281 --> 01:19:24,781
Okay.
1731
01:19:24,783 --> 01:19:26,450
For another day.
1732
01:19:26,452 --> 01:19:27,852
Okay.
1733
01:19:47,839 --> 01:19:49,307
Excuse me.
1734
01:19:50,575 --> 01:19:52,309
Excuse me?
1735
01:19:52,311 --> 01:19:53,577
You mind pulling up?
1736
01:19:53,579 --> 01:19:55,511
We're just having a
little trouble getting out.
1737
01:19:55,513 --> 01:19:58,484
Where are you gonna go, huh? Soccer moms.
1738
01:20:01,052 --> 01:20:02,018
Hey!
1739
01:20:02,020 --> 01:20:04,156
Wrong couple to fuck with, pal.
1740
01:20:06,490 --> 01:20:07,926
You're fucking crazy!
1741
01:20:09,194 --> 01:20:10,292
I'm starving.
1742
01:20:10,294 --> 01:20:12,394
Yeah, me, too.
1743
01:20:12,396 --> 01:20:15,200
God, he was scared shitless, huh?
1744
01:20:32,251 --> 01:20:33,450
I don't mean to freak you out,
1745
01:20:33,452 --> 01:20:35,087
but if I don't get my job back...
1746
01:20:38,257 --> 01:20:39,889
Are you jerking off a giant?
1747
01:20:39,891 --> 01:20:41,390
No.
1748
01:20:41,392 --> 01:20:42,759
Try it again.
1749
01:20:42,761 --> 01:20:44,493
Maybe lean over with your neck,
1750
01:20:44,495 --> 01:20:46,196
like it's just snapped.
1751
01:20:46,198 --> 01:20:47,063
Okay.
1752
01:20:47,065 --> 01:20:49,765
I will give you your raise.
1753
01:20:49,767 --> 01:20:52,468
- Okay.
- If you can name one of my kids.
1754
01:20:52,470 --> 01:20:54,136
Varley. Sativa.
1755
01:20:54,138 --> 01:20:55,772
- No, no. I'm sorry.
- Okay. Yeah.
1756
01:20:55,774 --> 01:20:56,973
Sataiva.
1757
01:20:56,975 --> 01:20:58,774
- Campbell. Campbell's Soup?
- Campbell?
1758
01:20:58,776 --> 01:21:00,076
Khaleesi?
1759
01:21:00,078 --> 01:21:01,611
Khaleesi is not one of my kids' names.
1760
01:21:01,613 --> 01:21:02,911
- Salamander.
- You just said 'em back to me...
1761
01:21:02,913 --> 01:21:04,746
Salamander? No way.
1762
01:21:04,748 --> 01:21:08,184
No earthly way is my
child named Salamander.
1763
01:21:08,186 --> 01:21:09,652
Like, no fucking way?
1764
01:21:09,654 --> 01:21:11,255
Like, no fucking way.
1765
01:21:13,391 --> 01:21:14,491
Let's go downstairs.
1766
01:21:14,493 --> 01:21:15,925
There's some people that the Butcher
1767
01:21:15,927 --> 01:21:17,193
needs to talk to on the floor.
1768
01:21:17,195 --> 01:21:18,928
What are you doing?
1769
01:21:20,798 --> 01:21:22,130
I was gonna go here,
1770
01:21:22,132 --> 01:21:25,201
and then I realized that I crossed you.
1771
01:21:25,203 --> 01:21:27,103
You know I love y'all, right?
1772
01:21:27,105 --> 01:21:28,904
But you stress me out.
1773
01:21:28,906 --> 01:21:30,173
And, cut!
1774
01:21:30,175 --> 01:21:31,840
All right, you motherfuckers...
1775
01:21:37,917 --> 01:21:38,982
Action!
1776
01:21:38,984 --> 01:21:41,318
What the fuck?
1777
01:21:41,320 --> 01:21:42,786
Fuck is your problem with you people?
1778
01:21:42,788 --> 01:21:44,621
Put him out, put him out!
1779
01:21:44,623 --> 01:21:47,256
I put it out. Fuck yourself!
1780
01:21:47,258 --> 01:21:49,058
Yeah, we're gonna cut your finger off.
1781
01:21:49,060 --> 01:21:50,527
We're gonna cut your dick off.
1782
01:21:50,529 --> 01:21:53,063
I'm gonna take your dick, I might lick it.
1783
01:21:53,065 --> 01:21:54,229
- Hang on. What?
- In private.
1784
01:21:54,231 --> 01:21:56,299
Wait, what? What do you mean?
1785
01:21:56,301 --> 01:21:57,303
What?
1786
01:27:57,298 --> 01:28:02,298
Subtitles by explosiveskull